Chapter Text
I know I told Haruhi being a host wouldn’t be too bad, but I take it all back. This seriously sucks. Because we weren’t really a package deal like the Hitachiins, Haruhi and I had separate tables with our own customers. I vaguely recognized the three girls sitting with Haruhi from the anime, one of them is even our class’s vice president. Since she’s a natural at this she seems to be doing fine. If only I could say the same about myself…
My attention focused back on my guests, Touka Aikawa and Amaya Kobayashi, two girls from Class 1-B. After initial introductions and quickly serving them tea and cake, I remember how bad I am at one-on-one social interaction. Seems social anxiety stays in every life, what a bummer. But I’ve gotta focus on my guests! If I fall behind on my own quota Haruhi may be stuck with a huge debt forever.
“So you’re the older brother, right, Fuyuki? It’s amazing that Class A has two sets of twins!”
“Yeah, I didn’t even know until you two joined the host club! I’m surprised you two aren’t paired together like Hikaru and Kaoru.”
“Haruhi and I are a bit too independent and stubborn to always work together,” I said with an awkward laugh, “I don’t want to rely on my little brother too much, y’know? We grew up taking care of each other after Mom passed so we’re still super close, of course. He does get super pouty if I hover too much, but it’s an older brother’s job to look out for their younger sibling.” Ah, wait, am I talking about Haruhi too much? I need to charm them in my own way, not ramble on about my sister, “Sorry if I seem a bit distracted, it’s just… I’m not used to getting attention from such beautiful ladies.”
My bashful expression seems to have touched them as their faces became flushed. Ah, they liked that? Maybe I could be the shy type…? I do tend to become easily flustered, especially compared to Haruhi’s usual blunt personality. It could be a nice contrast due to my sharper features, you’d expect our personalities to be swapped based on appearances.
“Um, Fuyuki.. Would it be alright if we request you again?” Miss Aikawa asked after sharing a demure look with Miss Kobayashi. “We had a lot of fun talking with you.”
“Of course, ladies! I’d be glad to have your company,” I replied with a charming smile and rose dusted cheeks, surrounded by a sparkly aura of green roses.
"Why are they so popular?" Tamaki complained with a pout from his seat on the couch.
"Haruhi’s a natural, and Fuyuki seems to have figured out his own technique rather quickly." Kyouya commented with a sly smirk, as the nearby Hitachiin twins continued in sync, "No training needed."
"Have you forgotten about me?" asked Miss Ayanokoji beside Tamaki, calmly sipping a cup of tea. Though her expression was calm and composed she seemed tired of his lack of attention.
"Oh, no. Sorry Princess, I'm just a little concerned about our newest hosts." Tamaki immediately turned back to her with his usual princely charm to offer his apologies.
"Well that's obvious, Tamaki. You sure have been keeping an eye on him."
"Of course. I have to, I am training him to be a gentleman like me." With a quick snap of his fingers, Tamaki beckoned the two of us over, "Haruhi, Fuyuki! Come here for a minute."
"What's up?" “‘Sup?” Haruhi and I greeted together. I felt bad having to abandon my guests at his whim, but I’d at least already wrapped up our conversation before leaving.
"I'd like you to meet someone. This is my regular guest, Princess Ayanokoji," he introduced the girl sitting beside him with a gesture. I recognized her immediately, someone who would bully Haruhi out of jealousy before eventually being banned from the host club. I’d need to stay on my toes from now on until things got resolved. The bullying wasn’t anything outright violent, but I’d rather not put Haruhi through unnecessary stress. Maybe I could use my foreknowledge to gather evidence for Kyouya, though I knew he’d probably have his own plans regardless.
“Hello Miss Ayanokoji, pleased to meet you,” I greeted politely. No reason to act hostile when she hasn’t done anything yet, not to mention I’m still a host and she’s one of Tamaki’s regulars.
"Miss, it's a pleasure to meet you." Haruhi’s charming greeting instantly distracted Tamaki as he picked her up and spun her around, loudly praising her adorableness. He was oblivious to Miss Ayanokoji awkwardly calling out to him, as well as Haruhi’s muffled protests against his manhandling.
“Argh! Fuyu, help me out here!” Haruhi called out, but I was too busy laughing to come to her aid. When she realized I wasn’t going to save her she turned to the next best option, "Mori-senpai! Help me!"
As if acting on instinct, Mori quickly swept in to lift her out of Tamaki’s arms. There was another sound of a lightbulb flickering on as Mori set Haruhi down. I could see Miss Ayanokoji’s sullen expression in the corner of my eye, she didn’t seem pleased at the commotion centered on my sister. It’s about time, then. I’ll start keeping an eye on our belongings, maybe bring a cheap disposable camera to school to catch her vandalism.
-
Over the next few days Haruhi ‘coincidentally’ suffered various accidents involving missing textbooks and assignments, cuts from blades snuck between pages and tucked into her jacket collar. Anytime her belongings were left unattended they were mysteriously tampered with by the time we came back.
I ended up lagging behind Haruhi most of the day in order to catch Miss Ayanokoji in the act. I did my best to take out anything that could cause Haruhi physical harm before she touched it, but still missed some. I did my best to sneakily take pictures of Miss Ayanakoji vandalizing Haruhi’s belongings, especially when it was something obviously dangerous like a blade between the pages of a textbook. I would have to hand these over to Kyouya-senpai as soon as possible.
-
Later that afternoon, when Haruhi’s entire bag went missing, I knew it was time for this opening arc to come to an end, the real story was about to start.
“Hey, what happened to my bag?” The two of us had been fruitlessly searching for at least twenty minutes, we were definitely late now. Good thing I have all the evidence I’ve collected so far already put together for Kyoya-senpai. I’ll have to quickly get back to the club room while Haruhi and Tamaki have their little moment.
“Uh.. I think it’s in the pond out there.” I point out the nearby window towards one of the ponds in the courtyard.
“Ugh, are you kidding me?” She let out a frustrated sigh, “How did that happen? I didn't think there were bullies at this school.”
“I guess they wouldn’t try to bully each other because they’re all too rich and well connected to try and mess with, but we’re easy pickings because we’re dirt poor compared to them. There’s no way for us to really defend ourselves since we’re easy targets,” I explained. Though there was really no excuse for bullying, period. “Let’s go get your stuff so we can try to dry it out. Not to mention your wallet, you had the grocery money today.”
“Haa.. You’re right, neesan.” As we hurried down the hall we pass the culprit herself, Miss Ayanokoji. Haruhi slowed to a stop, looking back as she spoke.
"Oh! It's you again. I bet you love having Tamaki making you over and fawning over you. It's useless though, you're always going to be a second-class citizen."
Haruhi and I shared a quick knowing look as she walked away. We both knew exactly who was responsible for her recent misfortune and ‘misplaced’ belongings, it was obvious from her attitude. I guess she didn’t feel the need to try and hide it too well, there was no need to put on an act for commoners like us.
Watching Haruhi be subjected to Miss Ayanokoji’s bullying as nothing but a bystander who occasionally ran interference was probably one of the greatest challenges of this life so far. I had no way to outright defend her, physically or otherwise, due to our status as commoners at a school for the elite. I felt like a failure of an older sister. I know violence isn't the answer, especially not in this life, but I just wanted to punch that prissy, stuck up bitch right in her smug face.
I know this is a 2000s shoujo romcom, but wasn’t she taking this a bit far? It seemed different from the anime. Phew, maybe I should calm down before I get too worked up and do something I regret. I’m supposed to be a gentleman after all.
-
As Haruhi had what was probably a very touching moment wading in the pond with Tamaki, I was busy rushing to the club room. Most of the boys were already occupied with their customers, the host club in full swing despite my late arrival. Kyouya-senpai was already making his way towards me, likely to scold my tardiness and try to increase Haruhi’s debt.
“Haruhi’s running a bit behind, but before you start I wanted to speak with you about Miss Ayanokoji,” I preemptively interrupted him before he could even open his mouth, pulling out a rather thick envelope full of pictures. “She has been relentlessly bullying Haruhi for the past week. Stealing or ruining her belongings, even putting a blade between the pages of her textbook. I have no doubt you already at least suspected something was going on, but I can’t just stand by while this is happening. I even have proof, I got these developed from pictures I took with a disposable camera.”
Kyouya carefully took the envelope with a raised brow. I could tell just from his expression that he’s definitely known this whole time, Mr. All-Seeing Eye that he is. He likely even had his own evidence gathered by his family’s private police force. It was well hidden by a casual mask of calm, but I could tell he was a bit amused by the situation.
“Well, Mr.Fujioka, I’m sorry to hear that you two were caught up in such a predicament. I’m sure I can figure something out to resolve this situation,” he said with a face made for customer service. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I wouldn’t want to tarnish our club’s precious reputation.”
“Hmm, you do that,” was my skeptical reply. Not that I didn’t believe he’d take care of it, but that I know it’s purely out of his own interest at this point.
-
In an unsurprising turn of events, Miss Ayanokoji requested Haruhi to be her exclusive host for the afternoon. Her intimidation tactics were obvious to those in the know about her harassment of Haruhi, but she was good at playing a coy maiden to unknowing bystanders.
"No, Haruhi! Leave me alone! Somebody help, he just attacked me!" I was pulled from my musing by Miss Ayanokiji’s exaggerated screams. Haruhi hovered over her next to the overturned table in shock. "Somebody do something! Teach this commoner a lesson!"
Quicker than a flash the twins were there pouring two pitchers of water on the two, completely soaking them. Miss Ayanokoji was clearly frustrated, as she got up from the floor with Tamaki’s help. "Why did you do that? Do something, Tamaki! Haruhi just assaulted me."
"I'm disappointed in you. You threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?" He started in a gentle tone. Despite his distrust he was a gentleman, he clearly wasn’t going to let her just get away with this.
"You don't know that. Do you have any proof that I did?"
“Actually, we do.” Kyouya said as he spread a collection of photographs in his hands. Most of them were ones I gave him not too long ago, but there were also quite a few of his own that he must’ve gotten on his own. What a reliable guy… if kind of scary that he has access to such resources.
"You know, you're a beautiful girl, but you aren't classy enough to be our guest, dear. If there's one thing I know, Haruhi is not that kind of a man." At his firm statement the other hosts began giving their own disapproving comments.
"But why, Tamaki? You idiot!" Miss Ayanokoji cried as she quickly ran from the club room. It seems the first chapter of our journey with the host club is finally coming to an end.
"Hmmm... Now how am I going to punish you? Because it is your fault after all,” Tamaki pondered aloud with a hum. “Your quota is now 1000!"
"Huh? 1000?" Haruhi sat dumbfounded in a puddle on the floor. Poor thing, she has no idea what she’s in for. But then again, neither does Tamaki-senpai.
"Come on. I’ve got high expectations for you, my little rookie." Tamaki finished with a wink, helping pull her off the floor. Kyouya came and passed over a bag as soon as she was on her feet. "This is the only spare uniform we have. Sorry, but it's better than a wet one, right?"
"Thanks a lot you guys. I'm gonna go change."
-
"Haruhi, here you go. I brought you some towels."
Haruhi turned with a gasp, quickly covering herself with her half open shirt. Thankfully she has a camisole underneath her uniform, especially since there was little to no warning when Tamaki opened the curtain. There was a distant sound of a light bulb flickering on, lighting up the kanji for ‘woman’.
"Haruhi."
"Yeah?"
"So, you're a girl?"
"Biologically speaking, yeah." Haruhi came out of the changing room in an Ouran girl’s uniform to Tamaki-senpai’s shocked screams. "Listen Senpai, I don't really care whether you guys recognize me as a boy or a girl. In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than for what sex they are."
“Though despite the fact you didn’t know Haruhi was a girl, it sure was bold of you to just waltz into an occupied changing room.” As the gathered hosts made their own comments on the not so surprising reveal, I decided to make my presence known. A cold smile made its way onto my face, an aura of a protective older sibling laying heavy in the air, “Are you some kinda mannerless perv? I thought you were supposed to be a gentleman, Senpai”
Tamaki-senpai began sputtering a series of denials, face growing increasingly red. I know he’s genuinely just naive and not really a creep, but I want to yank his chain a little bit in revenge for peeking on my little sister, even if she was still mostly dressed.
"Uh, you know, I have to say Senpai, I thought you were pretty cool earlier," Haruhi complimented to break the sudden tension in the air. Only for poor Tamaki-senpai to become a blushing, stuttering mess. What a naive guy…
"Now, I could be wrong but I think we may be witnessing the beginnings of love here,” Kyouya-senpai’s smug voice commented beside me. I could only respond in kind with a chuckle, “A real romantic comedy, huh.”
"Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad." Turning away from the gathered group of hosts, Haruhi pondered to herself, "I wonder how I can pull it off. Ah, I've got it. I'll just call everyone ‘dude’ and ‘bro’ now!"