Chapter Text
Love at First Punch!
At twelve years old, Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki are both considered prodigies by their own respective villages. When a team from Uzushio is sent to Konoha to compete in the annual Genin Tournament, the entire event quickly turns into a spectacle, dominated by two rising stars.
When they both reach the final round, the entire village gathers to witness the inevitable clash.
The match begins. Minato barely has time to register his opponent before Kushina lands a punch square on his jaw, sending him stumbling backward.
“I’ll defeat you, dattebane!!!” she declares, her fierce grin unwavering.
And that was the exact moment Minato Namikaze fell completely, and utterly in love.
The battle raged on, with both sides refusing to back down. Minato’s speed and precision matched Kushina’s brute strength and resilience blow for blow. When the dust settled, Minato just barely managed a narrow victory, panting and bruised but still standing. Kushina, by contrast, lay sprawled out on her back, teary-eyed but unwilling to let the emotions spill over.
Minato steps forward, extending his hand towards her. “Please don’t cry. You’re so beautiful when you fight. I hate to be the reason you look so sad.”
Kushina, never having been called beautiful before—especially not by a pretty boy with a stupidly sincere expression—immediately turns beet red. Her heart thunders in her chest, and in a moment of flustered panic, she punches Minato right in the stomach.
“B-baka!” she huffs, turning away.
Minato wheezes, clutching his abdomen, but through the pain, he can’t stop smiling.
And maybe, just maybe, Kushina also falls a little bit– a lot– in love with him too.
~~~
A Hokage’s Proposal (Or: How to Marry Your First Love in One Easy Step)
Years later, Minato is named Hokage, the pride of Konoha and a symbol of strength and wisdom. But with great power comes great responsibility—or, more specifically, the council telling him, “For the good of the village, you must marry a delegate from Uzushio. Our diplomatic ties to the Sister Village must be re-strengthen!”
Minato, whose mind has never really let go of a certain red-haired girl, barely lets them finish talking before he asks, “You wouldn’t happen to know anyone by the name of Kushina Uzumaki that I could marry, would you? Purely for diplomatic reasons of course!”
The council, having expected more resistance from Minato, and admitted slightly perplexed by the oddly specific request, shuffles through their pre-prepared list of candidates.
After a while, a hmm resonants across the room “As a matter of fact, we do.”
Minato smiles. “Perfect.”
~~~
In Which an Act of Great Self-Sabotage Occurs
Kushina returns to Konoha again, nearly a whole decade after that fateful genin tournament, under the distinct impression that she’s being married off to some old, balding creep for the sake of politics. Her heart sinks as she steps through the grand barrier of the village gate, shoulders squared in resignation.
Then she sees him.
“!!!” (It’s the stupidly pretty boy! The one from my dreams! How is he even prettier now???)
Meanwhile, Minato—who has also been dreaming of this moment for years—greets her with the most dazzling, sincere smile imaginable. “Welcome home, Kushina.”
What proceeds is months of romantic antics so entertaining, later soap operas will be reenacted of the events in the Daimyo’s palance.
Minato, the legendary Yellow Flash of Konohagakure, tries and fails utterly to seduce his own wife, much to the collective amusement and delight of the entire village.
The ANBU betting pools will never again reach such legendary heights as it did in those short few months. And this will go on record, as being the only time in in the villages entire history where shinobi actually challenged each other be placed on guard duty, instead of off of it. With everyday Minato finding new and more creative ways to try to woo Kushina.
Kushina, for her part, completely misinterprets all of Minato’s actions. She is convinced Minato is only being nice to her because they were forced into this marriage, and her pride refuses to let her be a ‘pity project.’ So she constantly brushes off all Minato’s advances, utterly oblivious to her own self-sabotage.
~~~
Mutually Angsty Pining (feat. Concerned Friends and Family)
Kushina, dramatically crying to Mikoto: “How can he be so perfect, ‘tebane?! Can you believe he just casually put a flower in my hair yesterday? And then said it was so beautiful it reminded him of me! ME! WHO JUST SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT, ‘TEBANE?? MINATO-BAKA, YOU STUPID PRETTY BOY PLAYER!!!”
Mikoto turns to Fugaku, sending him a heavy side-eye.
Fugaku, sweating profusely, “...Yes dear?”
Meanwhile on the other side of town, Minato is being harassed relentlessly by his adoptive family, the Namikaze clan.
“Lover boy,” they tease. “Oh look he’s blushing”
A sigh, “They grow up so fast. Seems like just yesterday he was running around yelling about exploding seals, and becoming Hokage. Look at him now, married and trying to seduce his own wife.” A choked sob, “I’m so proud.”
Minato, groaning, “Guys, stop. Kushina-san clearly doesn’t return my affections.”
Later, when Jiraiya starts rambling on about the plot of his new romance novel Minato will furiously start taking notes.
~~~
In Which Minato Conveniently Forgets he’s Hokage
After months of their back and forth, Minato’s students and several fed-up family members decide to stage an intervention.
How? By locking them in a seal-reinforced filing cabinet together of course.
Minato, who literally has the authority to open every secured lock in the Hokage Tower, is suddenly hit by a wave of selective amnesia. “Oh no, it seems we’re stuck in this cabinet indefinitely. What a shame.”
Kushina tries valiantly to suppress her Internal distressed wails.
Somewhere around the three-hour mark, Minato finally confesses. “Kushina, I’ve been in love with you since we were twelve. I asked the council to arrange this marriage because I couldn’t imagine anyone else beside me. Even if you don’t return my feelings now, just give me a chance! I swear I’ll make you the happiest woman in Konoha!”
(Somewhere in the distance, Jiraiya, sensing the ultimate romantic one-liner being dropped by his beloved disciple, sheds a single tear of pride.)
Kushina, mystified, can only do one thing in response. She kisses her stupidly beautiful husband before he can say anything else.
When they finally break apart, breathless and laughing at their own idiocy, Kushina murmurs against his lips, “I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve years old too.”
Minato blinks, then starts to laugh. It doesn’t take long before Kushina soon joins in.
“Guess we’re both idiots then.”
~~~
A Very Long Time in a Filing Cabinet Later
Naruto may or may not have been conceived in that cabinet. In the end, who can say?
Either way, they spend an extensive amount of time in that cabinet after their kiss. Eventually, Minato ‘conveniently recovers from his mysterious bout of amnesia’, and remembers that, as Hokage, he has access to every single lock in the Hokage tower.
Kushina isn't even mad.