Chapter Text
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“What’s so special about Smurf essence anyway?”
The question came to her one day while she, Blossom and Storm were hanging out with Smurfette, the rest of her team and Moxie in Brainy’s house.
Brainy was exploring his latest invention (Super Smurfy Fuel) and the potential uses to Blossom and Moxie. Exploding potions…that might help out when it comes to scaring off bigger threats.
Hefty was talking (read; flirting) with Smurfette. Storm was talking with Clumsy who was showing off his private rock collection. Apparently, Clumsy had given Storm his favourite rock a while back when they first started living in the village.
Which left her reading some of the books that Moxie brought. Quite fascinating. There were so much they didn’t know about the rest of Smurfkind, and she figured that it would be best to do some light reading while the others was busy.
As she did, one sentence caught her attention in particular.
Creating and using Smurfettes (or artificial Smurfs in general) to hunt naturally-born Smurfs was a common tactic used by power-hungry magic-users and magical creatures alike when Smurfs were more actively hunted for their essence during the beginning of wizardry…
Her memories of Gargamel’s lair came back to her. The cages. The darkness. The…horrible feeling of having her very life-force sucked out of her.
Despite the horrid memories, she had to ask.
Immediately, the atmosphere slowed to a crawl as five Smurfs turned to stare at her incredulously.
“Yeah, like what is Gargasmell’s deal? Sure, Smurf essence is powerful, but it can’t be—.”
“You don’t know?” They turned to the speaker; Moxie whose eyes were wide in confusion and disbelief, “You seriously don’t know?”
“Know about what?”
“Know about…you don’t know about the wars? How much our kind has been hunted? How Smurfkind was nearly brought to the brink of extinction long ago?”
“N-No,” Lily shook her head, feeling uneasy.
“I—.”
“Moxie, it’s not their fault,” Clumsy chimed in, “You know how hard it is with the big old wall that we’re not supposed to go near.”
“Well, yeah, you do have a point but if I was Willow, I would make sure to keep my Smurfs informed about our very, very bloody history.”
“Okay, can you explain it?”
“…The Elders are better at the history bit, but I guess I can help fill in,” Moxie grimaced, “Are you sure, though? Because there’s a reason on why we take caution to the extreme when it comes to hiding our settlements.”
“Well, I have a hunch,” Blossom whimpered, “But I’m a bit too scared to say it out well.”
Well, you asked for it,” Moxie sighed, “About…a long time ago, the first human wizards and sorcerers arose, becoming part of the world of magic. Back when it wasn’t so out of balance, there used to be big Smurf cities with thousands of Smurfs, even tens of thousands. All across the known world.
Until the Philosopher came along. You see, some magic-users were weaker than others and were searching for a way to make themselves stronger. One of them, whose true name is lost to time, found the Smurfs and was curious about their magic. So, one night, he snatched a few dozen for…experiments.
Eventually, he discovered that Smurf essence could be extracted. Could be transferred to someone and allow them to bolster their magical abilities. But there was a limit.”
Moxie turned to Brainy, “Brainy, you want to say some science smurf about this.”
“Sure,” Brainy said, unsure before speaking, “Smurf essence doesn’t tend to last for long in regard to continued usage and you will eventually run out if you don’t replenish it. But that isn’t the only use for Smurfs.”
“What do you mean?” Blossom asked as Storm’s eyes widened in realisation for some reason.
“Well, a while ago, when we were Smurflings, an old enemy of Papa…” Clumsy chuckled nervously before continuing, his words coming out in a torrent “…triedtoturnusallintogoldbars.”
“…”
“…”
“…Dear good Smurf in Heaven.”
“Yeah, we know,” Brainy winced, “And to add to your trauma, Smurfs are often seen as a delicacy in Ogre culture.”
“Okay, regrettably, I have a question,” Blossom put her hands together.
“Just one?” Moxie.
“I have a smurfmillion questions but I’m focusing on this Philosopher character. His name. Why is he called that?”
“Because of his most dreaded creation,” Moxie stated, “The one thing that the Order throughout its entire existence has been dedicated to preventing above all else. The one thing that would be the ultimate threat to not just Smurfkind but the worlds of both man and magic.”
“What is it called?”
“The Philosopher’s Stone,” Moxie growled, “A vile stone made from the spilled blood of one hundred Smurfs. It has many abilities, such as being to make whoever wields it the most powerful being in the world.”
“Wait, hold on, if it’s easy to make, why didn’t Gargamel make it when he captured us?” Storm raised an eyebrow and Lily found herself nodding in agreement.
“Because, thanks to the efforts of the Order and our allies in the wizard community, most of the recipes had been burnt or locked away in our deepest vaults, never to see the light of day, again. Besides, Gargamel probably thought it was easier and quicker to just extract the essence. Now can I continue?”
“Sure.”
“The Philosopher presented his creation to his fellow wizards and sorcerers and told them of how he had done it. Many blanched at this and refused to have anything to do with this but many more, hungry for magic, rallied behind the Philosopher. And thus began the first of many wars between Smurfkind and evil magic-users.
For decades, Smurfs were hunted for their essence. Entire kingdoms were wiped off the map. Entire cultures gone. Entire villages were rounded up for their essence, never to be seen again.
Eventually, the ancient ones decided no more and all the remaining armies of Smurfkind united in a last-ditch effort to destroy the Stone and end the Philosopher’s reign of terror.
A great battle erupted. Tens of thousands of Smurfs clashed with the ones that had taken so much from them. Many Smurfs gave their lives that dark day to end the Philosopher for good.
After the battle, the remaining leaders of Smurfkind, knowing that the hunts wouldn’t stop with the death of the Philosopher, told all remaining Smurfs to go into hiding. To avoid any contact with humans unless absolutely necessary.
In the wake of the Philosopher War, the Order was founded to keep something like that from ever happening again.”
“Has it…has it ever happened again?” Lily asked, uncertainly.
“There have been a…few wars between Smurfkind and evil wizards but nothing like the Philosopher War. There’s been some close calls, especially with…the literal forces of Hell—.”
“I’m sorry…WHAT!?” Blossom shrieked at the top of her lungs, “What do you mean the literal forces of Hell!?”
“Yeah, Smurfkind had to deal with demonic incursions in the past,” Moxie raised an eyebrow, “Weren’t you paying attention to my demon-fighting stories?”
“I thought they were just one-off things!” Blossom screeched, “Not whole smurfing wars between legions of demons and Smurfs!”
“Real, Smurfkind has gone through a lot of demon-related trouble. Not helped by more than a few evil wizards being affiliates of the demonic powers,” Clumsy hissed, “Hey, remember that one time when Gargamel into a feud with his cousin over which sorcerer would live in Smurf Forest and he ended up summoning Beelzebub?”
“I think I remember reading a report about that,” Moxie tapped her chin in thought.
“It was such a shame that Gargamel won. S…” Clumsy’s face scrunched up before she continued speaking, “The other guy seemed kind of nicer.”
“Every time I learn something new about your village, I am both intrigued and horrified at the same time,” Blossom remarked with Storm and Lily both nodding in agreement.
“Yeah, a lot of horrible messed-up smurf happened to Smurfkind,” Moxie sighed, “Especially to Smurfettes and artificial Smurfs in general like me, Smurfette and some of the Order’s members. I find…myself thinking back to what could’ve happened. To the fates suffered by artificial Smurfs when they outlived their usefulness, or their creators got tired of them. That…could’ve been us.”
At the end of it, Moxie and Smurfette had such sad looks on their faces. Lily frowned before getting up and giving them a smile as she spoke, “Hey, I have an idea; let’s all go have some fun to get our minds off things.”
“Hey, I was going to say that,” Hefty crossed his arms and pouted.
“Well, too bad, strongman,” Storm remarked, “You were too slow.”
“You know what? I could have some fun,” Moxie smirked, “What do you have in mind?”
[1] “Smurfboarding!”
“Pizza!” They all turned to Clumsy who looked around before dropping his arms and sighing, “Every time.”
They all then let out laughter before making their way out of Brainy’s house. As they walked through the village, Lily found herself walking next to Moxie who gave her a grateful smile.
“Thanks by the way.”
“Oh, it was…” Lily tried to keep the blush off her cheeks as she spoke, “…it was nothing.”
“Sure it was, but still, thanks.”
And then Moxie pecked her on the cheek. Lily froze as the others went on without her. Moxie turned back to shoot her a wink before turning back to the group.
Lily once moved when one of the others called out and hurried to catch up, hand moving to the spot where Moxie had kissed her.
Did…Moxie like her back?
She would have to ask later, after everyone had their fun.
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AUTHOR’S NOTES
[1] Originally, the group was supposed to get pizza, but I decided to have them smurfboard. Following the events of the movie, Architect and the Smurfy Grove construction team got together to build a hidden smurfboarding park so they wouldn’t have to worry about Monty snatching them up.