Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Fine. But I still don’t know why it has to be my cabin?” Jungkook picked up his glass of whiskey, stared into it and swirled it around.

Namjoon watched him for a few seconds and waited. Jungkook usually - when presented with change, just needed to vent his frustrations and then he would concede. Being the Alpha of the pack, if the change or idea benefited everyone and was best for the village, he was even easier to convince. And he had been convinced weeks ago, but he still wanted to engage in some last-minute bitching about it.

From behind the bar, Jin washed and dried glasses as he observed the conversation in amusement.

“It’s not like you have to leave,” he offered. “You could just live there with him?”

Jungkook raised his eyes and smirked, “No thanks. I’m not interested in sharing space with some hot shot asshole journalist outsider who’s going to take one look think small town and immediately look down on us.”

“I’m telling you…he really isn’t like that.” Namjoon looked between Jin and Jungkook like he was eager to convince them both.

Jin set the last glass on the shelf and wiped his hands with the bar cloth. “Come on Jungkook.”  He flipped it and lightly hit his elbow that was propped up on the bar. “You never know, it might be fun. You could sure as hell use some of that.” He winked at Namjoon.

“Not happening. Forget it. The Outsider can have my cabin, but I’m staying at your house.” He looked between them, his jaw set.

Namjoon picked up his drink and took a sip. “Good enough for me. And after all, there is always a chance you’ll change your mind.”

Jin laughed and walked down the bar to take care of a customer.

“How long is he staying here anyway?”

“As long as it takes,” Namjoon finished off his drink. “I would guess he’ll want to finish the article while he’s here. But I don’t know how long something like that will take him.”

“Do you really think it’s going to make a difference? Is some article really going to change things?”

Namjoon rose from his stool and laid a few dollars on the bar, even though there really was no need as Jin owned the bar. And Namjoon and Jin had been bonded mates for as long as Jungkook could remember.

“He’s currently the most influential journalist in South Korea. People listen to him. And with the legal injunctions my firm is preparing we…we’ve got to try, Jungkook.” He patted him on the back. “It’s all we can do.”

“So tomorrow then?”

“Yes, I have to go to the city tomorrow anyway to take care of a few things in my office. I told him I'd pick him up sometime in the late afternoon. We should be back here by nightfall.” Namjoon started to walk away and then turned back around.

“And it’s fine if you stay with Jin and I. It’s the least we can do if you are willing to let him stay in your cabin.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jungkook waved dismissively. “See you tomorrow.”

Namjoon smiled sympathetically and turned to walk away.

Jungkook looked down into his nearly empty glass. He briefly contemplated asking Jin for a refill, but decided against it as he needed to get back home, take care of a few last-minute things and pack some clothes. He reached in his back pocket to pull his wallet out when Jin rushed down the bar and stopped him. He knew he didn’t need to pay, but he never felt right if he didn’t offer.

“Don’t you dare.” He shook his head. “It’s on me. You know that.”

Jungkook pulled his hand back and nodded. “Thanks, man. See you tomorrow.”

Walking into the night air, he finally felt like he could breathe again. It wasn’t that he disliked being indoors, but he was undoubtedly more at home in the cool evening air. His head felt clearer. His heart more at home.

The town was more like a small village. And quite an eclectic one at that. At its front was a river that wound through the countryside like a snake as it came from the mountain that sat behind the village. The houses were a variety of different styles of thatched roofed choga and hanok styled cottages. Each was quaint and cozy. The shared buildings which were fancier hanok styled and slightly less humble looking. There were only a few. The tavern doubled as a small eatery and a general store of sorts where the townspeople could buy and trade necessities. There were only remnants of a few families that still lived there and enjoyed the protection of the wolf pack. Jungkook had been told that when he was young and his father was Alpha, the town had been much more robust. The pack had been larger. Even the community garden that Jungkook took great care in tending to had dwindled to hardly anything at all no matter how much effort was put into keeping things growing.

The village had been populated by people who sought a simpler and more tranquil type of life. They had kept up with the physical basics of modern convenience, but not to the point of distraction. Plumbing and electricity both found their way to the village. And later, even things like phones and computers found a use. But it was always for that - necessary use. The solace of the village came not from the deprivation of physical things, but in the way they inhabited it. There was never any real crime to speak of and conflicts were always resolved with the common good of the community in mind. Everyone pulled their own weight and contributed. Above all, the purpose was to provide a haven. At least one small place in the world where people could truly live long and peaceful lives outside of the perpetual inequality, violence and hatred that characterized most towns and cities. Or at least that was what it was supposed to be. That was what it had been at one time.

As he walked further from the tavern and the incline of the mountain began to rise under his feet, he felt the peace that he always did. The closer he got to the trees, the mountain and its streams – the closer he got to his small cabin up in the woods, he felt the peace wash over him. It would be difficult to stay in the village with Namjoon and Jin, but it was a necessary sacrifice if the mountain, the village despite its dwindling size, and the pack had a chance of being saved.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

As the tall city buildings began to fade from view, Taehyung had mixed feelings. He had never really been away from a city for any length of time in his memory. Always surrounded by the sights and sounds of a major city, he was comfortable with the concrete and the wires. On the rare occasions he went on a school trip to the countryside and the mountains he felt unsettled and ill at ease. Though he didn't think he had any reason to feel that way.

It wasn’t a long drive from the city to the village, but Namjoon seemed to be driving slower than usual. And he was much quieter than usual.

“You know, we might have just been able to walk at the rate you’re going,” Taehyung teased.

Namjoon snapped out of his trance and laughed as he pressed harder on the gas pedal. “Sorry, guess I get so used to the stopped and slowed traffic in the city, I forget that the open road flows much faster.”

“By the way, if I haven’t told you already, thank you agreeing to let me do this.” Taehyung looked out the window at the mountains in the distance. “Recently I’ve just felt so stuck. So confined. There are plenty of stories to report on, but it’s the always the same. Senseless tragedy or crime, politicians who are as corrupt as the crooks they try to jail, oppression that knows no bounds against the most destitute in society.” He looked back to Namjoon. “I always thought I’d seek the truth, show it to people and things could change, but it’s never happened. It’s been so long since I got excited about something or felt like I had a purpose other than just feeding people’s appetites for same stories of destruction and dirt simply because they see themselves as an audience watching drama unfold.”

“Well, this is drama free, that’s for sure. It’s just a small village and a mountain and it’s easy for people to dismiss the demolition of it as the price for progress. It’s going to take a lot to change their minds.” Namjoon sighs. “I should be thanking you for even being interested in helping us.  We don’t have much time. The project is supposed to begin in a little less than a year so it can be completed in time for the winter Olympics. If there is any chance of redirecting their ski slope, we are going to have to do it quickly. I’ve done everything within the laws to try and halt it. And I will continue to too, but we need more.”

“I think the idea that an ancient mountain and critical environment ecosphere is being destroyed for what ultimately is just sport and games – a few days of sports and games - is something that should strike a chord with people. Especially with environmental preservation becoming a more pressing global issue.” Taehyung shrugs. “And for me it’s at least a change of pace, something that allows me to slow down and really focus on an issue and a story. Maybe I’ll be able to remember why I took up being a journalist in the first place.”

“I’ve been there, my friend,” Namjoon assured him. “That’s why I switched from family law. I was depressed all the time. Changing to environmental law was my dream. I felt like I might actually be able to make a difference, you know? Intact some change.”

“True you were an angry disgruntled asshole back then.” Taehyung gently punched his shoulder. “You’re a much better lunch companion now. I like that you dropped the angry and disgruntled parts.”

Namjoon ignored the jab. It was just Taehyung’s way of teasing. “Yeah, well, speaking of food, unless you want to head back to the city every now and then, we won’t be having many fancy dining experiences. We're headed to a place that time seems to have forgotten in some ways.” He grinned. “There’s a tavern, and Jin is an amazing cook, but there aren’t many other options.”

“I think I’ll be okay.” Taehyung said it more to convince himself than Namjoon. “It will be nice to take life a little slower pace. You know, Thoreau and all that ‘going to live in the woods because I wished to live deliberately’ stuff.”

“Maybe you’ll write the next Walden?” Namjoon said as he turned onto a small road that headed directly towards the mountain. 

Taehyung was prepared for something rustic and rural, but this was even more than he had imagined. In the past, when Namjoon spoke of his home, he always made it sound like a quaint rural refuge, not a jump back in time.

The thatched roofs and dirt streets he had not expected. If this is what the “town” looked like, he wondered how rustic and backwards the cabin in the woods was. He wondered if he had made a mistake when he had offered to come and do a feature on the mountain that was slated to be destroyed to make way for a Winter Olympics ski slope. He had been excited. Thinking that something like this, if successful, could propel his career even further. He had confidence in his journalism and writing skills and was certain he could create a piece that could garner enough attention to possibly halt the destruction, but he wasn’t confident that he could stay here in the middle of no where for the time it would take to research and write the article.

But the village looked very close to abandoned in some ways. It was like they were trying do the upkeep but it wasn't successful. As they pulled next to the tavern, one of the few buildings that looked welcoming, he noticed the large plots of browned and weedy land. Namjoon had always described his home as a haven, but this village looked forgotten. Surely he wasn't going to be able to convince the public that this needed saving.

“I’ll take you up to the cabin shortly, but I thought you might like to stop here at the tavern first for a quick dinner.”

“Sounds good. And I finally get to meet the infamous Jin.”

“Oh man, don’t say that to him or he'll get a big head thinking that he has a reputation that precedes him,” Namjoon said as he held open the door for Taehyung.

Nothing could have prepared him for the way he felt. His chest clutched and he held his breath. He had traveled all over the world and never felt anything that compared to the first step inside.

The tavern was magical. He searched for another word. But there was really no other word that came to mind. Upon his first step through the door, he had difficulty taking it in as it overwhelmed his senses. And he was rarely overwhelmed. Sight, sounds, smells. It all felt like he had been invited into this space. He could have never found it on his own.

It was well lit, but the light was gentle. There was a soft warm yellow glow that made it seem small and intimate. Otherworldly even. Old black and white photos and signs adorned the walls. Taehyung couldn’t get a close enough look at the framed photos, but his curiosity burned and he wanted to examine them more closely when he got the chance. There were several tables and a modest looking bar with stools and an impressive array of liquor bottles on the mirrored wall behind it. The mirror reflected the bottles, but also the glow of the room and it intensified the coziness. It made him feel something but he just couldn’t seem to find the word to describe it.

Standing in the middle of it all was a tall, broad-shouldered man with very light blonde hair. He was cutting vegetables on a cutting board, but when the door opened and they walked in, he looked up and gave a large smile. Although it was aimed toward them both, Taehyung had the distinct feeling it was meant for Namjoon.

“Well, well, finally you're back!” Jin joyfully shouted causing the few others in the tavern to turn around. Their eyes were all fixed on him.

Namjoon nudged him toward the bar and offered him a stool. Taehyung sat down tentatively. He couldn’t help but notice that everyone had stopped what they were doing and they were still staring.

“Hope you like samgyeopsal?” Jin asked as he turned some meat on the grill behind the bar.

“Yes,” Taehyung nods, “definitely. It smells wonderful.”

“Taehyung doesn’t get much home cooking,” Namjoon explained, “I mean I guess this is still not home, but it’s not a typical restaurant.”

Jin patted Namjoon’s arm affectionately. “It’s a home, it’s our home.” He then turned to Taehyung. “I love to cook. I will spoil you and you’ll never want city restaurants again.”

Taehyung noticed that Jin was cooking a lot more food than what would be needed for the three of them. He realized why when he saw him pull out several plates, dish them up and lay them on the counter.

There were four men sitting at one of the tables together. Three of them got up at the same time and walked toward the bar and the steaming plates.

The shortest one reached out his hand toward Taehyung. “I’m Jimin. I’m glad Namjoon was able to convince you to come.”

Taehyung shook his hand in return. “It’s my pleasure. Namjoon and I have been friends for years and he has always spoken so highly of his home, I am glad to finally be able to see it for myself.”

The other two men stood back a little until the one with the sparkling eyes, wide smile and dark hair nodded at him. “Yes, we are glad to have you here. My name is Hoseok but you can call me Hobi.” His voice was light an airy, yet very direct. “And this,” he turned his hands to his side toward the gray-haired man standing next to him, “is Yoongi.”

The first word that came to mind when his eyes landed on Yoongi was stoic. The second was wise. Yoongi bowed toward him which caused Taehyung to feel like he wanted to stand and return with a full bow.

The three picked up their plates and each settled on a stool at the bar. Jin laid a plate in front of Taehyung as he sat back down on his stool. It smelled wonderful, and even though he hadn’t been terribly hungry when he arrived, he could think of nothing else right now other than being able to eat the delicious meal.

The compliments and satisfied groans lined the bar. Jin smiled and accepted each one. Eventually reminding them, “Don’t get too used to it guys, this is a special occasion with it being our guest’s first night.”

“Something really does feel different tonight,” Jimin said quietly to Hobi and Yoongi, but Taehyung could still hear. It didn’t seem to be a conversation that he was meant to be a part of by the way their heads were leaned in toward each other, but he couldn’t help but hear. Their mouths moved in the shape of whispers, yet Taehyung could hear every word as clearly as they had spoken directly in his ear.

Hobi put a bite of food in his mouth and nodded. Waving his chopstick to motion around the room, he said, mouth full, “you can feel it. It’s in the air. Even in here.”

“I just hope we aren’t making a mistake.”

“Why would it be a mistake, Yoongi?” Jimin chewed his food slowly.

“We just need to be careful. Careful with them.” Yoongi’s word hung in the air as neither of the other two responded.

Taehyung opened his mouth in preparation to try to join the conversation and find out what they were referring to, when at that moment, Namjoon turned to the table behind them where one of the men remained.

“Jungkook? Aren’t you hungry?”

Taehyung twisted his head around to get a better look at who Namjoon was talking to.

The man sitting at the table was alarmingly still. Even with Namjoon’s call, he didn’t move, flinch a muscle or even blink. His large dark eyes stared straight towards them.  Fixated. Taehyung felt the rare feeling of being intimidated for the first time in a long time.

He was extraordinarily handsome. But his face showed no identifiable expression. His hair jet black, almost as black as his eyes, was pulled up halfway in an elastic. It made his large eyes stand out even more. His one hand which was wrapped around the glass on the table in front of him began to move in slow circles as he scooted his chair back and stood up. All the while he never took his eyes off them. Taehyung knew he was probably being paranoid, but it felt like he was looking directly at him.

Despite the unsettled feeling in his stomach, he could not look away. And his eyes followed him as he rose and walked around the table toward the bar. As he came closer, Taehyung felt his nerves heighten. But never more so than when Namjoon very casually rose from his stool and moved his plate over, leaving an open spot for Jungkook next to Taehyung.

At that point, Taehyung had to look away. He quickly turned his glare down toward his half eaten plate of food. He picked his glass up and put it to his lips, taking a long sip of whiskey. And willed himself not to look to his side when he felt Jungkook sit down next to him.

Something at the bar suddenly changed. Taehyung felt it. But he also sensed that the others experienced a shift as well. The quiet mumbling conversations and all attempts at eating ceased.

The air was still, but vibrating.

And then Jungkook finally spoke.

“I’m not hungry,” as he held up his empty glass to Jin, “but I’ll take a refill.”

Without a word, Jin took the glass and laid the steaming plate of food in front of him.

Jungkook didn’t appear to be surprised as he took up a pair of chopsticks and began to eat.

Jin refilled the glass with a small amount of whiskey, leaned down close to Jungkook and whispered, “I’ll look the other way when you insist on eating last, but I won’t let you punish yourself by not eating at all.”

As he set the whiskey down in front of him, Jungkook looked up with a much softer expression than when he had sat down as he mumbled a quiet, “Thank you.”

Namjoon leaned forward and looked around Jungkook, pointing toward Taehyung as he made the overdue introduction.

“Jungkook, this is Taehyung, my journalist friend from the city.” And then speaking to Taehyung, “And Jungkook here knows everything about the mountain. All of the plants, trees, and animals. He will show you why the destruction of the mountain would be an environmental mistake. With his assistance plus the history that Yoongi will give you – you should get plenty of helpful information.”

Taehyung wiped his mouth and sat back on his stool ready. He turned and started to extend his hand toward Jungkook in an invitation to shake. However, Jungkook had lifted his glass to his mouth and was in the process of taking a sip.

I hope to Goddess you are everything they think you are.

Taehyung sat stunned with his hand extended. He was certain he had heard Jungkook’s voice. Although they’d just met and he’d only heard a few words from the man, there was no doubt. Jimin and Hobi’s voices were much different and they would have been coming from his right. This came from his left where only Namjoon and Jungkook sat. And he knew without a doubt, it wasn’t the familiar voice of Namjoon.

“What was that?” Taehyung asked as he withdrew his hand and put it back around his glass

Jungkook’s glass was still at his lips when he stopped all movement. Taehyung waited and watched his throat as he swallowed. He sat his glass down and wiped his hand onto his cargo pants and then turned and extended his hand to Taehyung.

“Jungkook. My name is Jungkook.”

Taehyung glanced at the hand, but didn’t take it. His hand was gripped tightly around his own glass and he didn’t feel like he could make it move.

Instead, he bowed his head fully as he said firmly, “Nice to meet you.”

As he sat upright again, he could feel Jungkook staring at him. When he finally looked up and met Jungkook’s eyes, he told himself to look away, but he couldn’t. Something inside was telling him he could not be the one to look away first.

Jungkook spoke. “I hope you will enjoy your time with us.” It seemed impossible, but his eyes got more intense as the words left his mouth and glared even harder into Taehyung’s.

Taehyung felt Jimin’s arm wrap around his shoulders. The sudden touch and the way that he was gripping onto Taehyung’s arm and swaying back and forth broke the moment.

“It’ll be great. You’ll love it here, Taehyung.” Jimin squeezed into his shoulder. “I work in the city as well and you will come to see what a refuge this place is. I couldn’t keep my sanity if I wasn’t able to leave the chaos and come home here.”

Taehyung wasn’t used to anyone being so touchy with him and as much as he tried to relax, he knew Jimin had to be able to feel how tense he got.  Jimin slid his hand off his shoulder and patted him twice on the back.

“Thank you,” Taehyung said as he looked back toward Jungkook who had resumed eating. “I appreciate you welcoming me and I hope I can be of some assistance to you all.”

Namjoon stood up and walked around Jungkook.

“It’s getting late and it’s been a long day. You’d probably like to get up to the cabin and get settled in.”

Under normal circumstances, Taehyung would have been eager to get out of the company of others and into his own space. It wasn’t that he didn’t like being around other people. He did. And others loved to have him around. Most people would have assumed that he was a complete extrovert, life of the party, didn’t know a stranger. And that was the mask he wore. He wore it very well. But there was another side of him which he hid well. The one that breathed a sigh of relief when he could be alone. The truth was he really tolerated other people more than he ever enjoyed them. His mask had been his survival technique as long as he could remember

For some reason tonight was different. His curiosity was aroused. He wouldn’t have minded to sit at the tavern for several more hours. He wanted to walk around and look at the photos. He wanted to get to know Hobi and Jimin better. To pry into Yoongi who had been eerily quiet the whole evening. To chat with Jin who seemed disarmingly simple but amusing all the same. And most of all to find out who Jungkook was. Why did he seem to have such an attitude? Did he dislike Taehyung, or did he just exude that aura with everyone?

He supposed that at the heart of his trepidation was that he was leaving the cozy well-lit diner to an unknown destination. Namjoon had said he would be staying in a cabin in the forest. He knew it would obviously not be within the village itself but he was hoping it wasn’t too far away from the tavern and too deep into the forest.

His face must have given some indication of his hesitation as Namjoon said, “I’ll head on out to get your bags. And then I’ll walk you up. We could drive, but it’s a nice night and the walk isn’t far. It's just up the hill.”

Taehyung said his goodnights. With Jin informing him that even though they had stocked the cabin with various things to eat, the tavern was always open early and he would make him breakfast. As he walked out into the autumn air, he noticed that all heads turned to watch him. The most notable being Jungkook.

After one last glance, Taehyung was out the door.

Namjoon was right, the walk up to the cabin wasn’t much at all. And thankfully it looked as though someone had already been inside and turned on a light. Taehyung was extremely grateful for that as he hated walking into a dark house. The little light from the window shone out onto the forest floor and spotlighted what looked like a small flower garden. Even though it was well into autumn, there were still some small yellow and maroon chrysanthemums blooming there.

The forest wasn’t as dark as he had feared. Looking up through the canopy of trees he realized it was the moon that was providing much of the light on their path. He briefly entertained the thought of what it might be like on a night when there wasn’t a moon shining overhead.

Taehyung had lived in so many places throughout his life that he really didn’t expect to be at all moved by the new accommodations. He figured it would just be another place to stay for however long it was needed. Even prior to his journalism career, which required he was constantly living from one temporary place to another, he didn’t remember ever really having one place he considered home.

His mother had been his home.

And wherever they were together, was where he considered his home to be. She had passed one winter right before his 24th birthday and for the two and a half years, since her death, he didn’t really consider any place to be a home. He never got used to any one place. He never felt comfortable. 

But this place. This small cabin in the woods immediately made him feel comfortable. Made him feel at home.

The cabin was small, but its presence was commanding. It seemed to overlook the village.  Sitting on a flattened area on the side of the mountain not too far up from the base, the dark trees loomed overhead and it was obvious that on a moonless night it would be almost completely dark.

Walking in the front door, Taehyung immediately noticed there was already a small fire burning in the stone fireplace that sat prominently in the main living where there was a tiny, but functional looking kitchen area and a small table. There was a comfortable looking chair and a small couch that was covered with a colorful patchwork quilt. The glow of the fire and the few small lamps provided a soothing light.

They sat the suitcases down near the chair and Namjoon quickly pointed out the obvious things in the room and then noted the bedroom was just beyond a small open archway that was lined with two long pieces of soft linen that were tied back on each side.

“I think you will find everything to be quite comfortable,” Namjoon said as his eyes scanned the room. “Jungkook keeps things very tidy and I know he made sure you have plenty of wood out on the porch and food in the pantry. But you are obviously welcome down in the village anytime you want.”

“Jungkook?”

“Yes, I introduced you in the tavern…”

“Oh, I know who you mean, I just didn’t get the impression he was too happy with my presence, so it’s a little tough to believe he would have taken any care to make sure my needs were met.”

Namjoon looked down and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck in an obvious attempt to stall while he formed the words he wanted to say.

“Well, this actually is where Jungkook usually lives, and he isn’t really open to us messing around in his space, so I think he wanted to get things ready himself.”

“This,” Taehyung’s eyes widened as used both hands to motion around the room, “you’re telling me this is his house? No wonder he looked like he hated me tonight. I’ve kicked him out of his own home.”

“No, no. It isn’t like that.” Namjoon said hurriedly. “I mean, I guess it is like that, sort of. But really, he doesn’t mind. It isn’t a problem. Jungkook loves this mountain and this forest. He would be willing to make any sacrifice to save it.”

“Still, Joon.” Taehyung was unconvinced. “This is the guy’s home! He probably feels like he isn’t welcome to come check on things or make sure that I am taking care of the place.”

Namjoon laughed a little too loud. “Oh no worries there. Jungkook is meticulous about his things. His stuff, the forest, the village, the garden. He keeps his eye on everything. He won’t be shy about letting you know if he thinks you need to take care of something. He tries to take care of everything here on the mountain.”

Taehyung picked up a suitcase and put it on the couch, opening it. “If that was supposed to be the garden down beside the tavern it didn’t look like he was taking very good care of that. It looked like a mess of brown weeds.”

“You won’t want to point that out to him if you want to get along,” Namjoon cautioned. “He has done everything he can to make that garden thrive again. Spends hours upon hours in it and he still can only get a few things to grow. And to be fair, most of what grew this summer was harvested for Chuseok a few weeks ago– so you aren’t really seeing it at it’s peak as he is preparing it for winter.” Namjoon made a pained face. “But you are right it is a mess down there. He’ll tell you all about that when he helps you with your research for the article.”

“Oh great.” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “I bet he's about as anxious to work with me as I am with him.”

“I think you’ll eventually be comfortable with each other. He is the key to you understanding the mountain.” Namjoon shook his head and chuckled as he headed back toward the door. “I admit he isn’t the easiest guy to get along with…” hesitated and flashed his dimpled smile, “but then again, my friend, neither are you.”

Taehyung didn’t take time to put things away in drawers. He found the dresser in the bedroom, but just sat his suitcases beside it. There had been very few places in his life he ever unpacked. It always seemed like a waste of time. And anyway, he was exhausted. The day had been plenty long, but the interaction in the tavern had worn him out. As much as what he often found himself with people who wanted to be in his company, and he enjoyed being social, it always took a lot of energy out of him and he was thankful for some time alone.

He found the tiny bathroom and was thankful there was a toilet, but irritated there was only a tub and not a shower. He washed his face in the basin and then headed into the living area to shut off the lamps. As he clicked the last one off, the darkness immediately overwhelmed him. Darkness in and of itself didn’t both him. But here in the cabin the waning moon still looked full and it seemed to elongate the shadows of the trees and they poured into the windows of the cabin. He actually would have preferred pitch black as opposed to the eerily swaying branches that lined the floor and walls.

It's just unfamiliar, he told himself. I’m almost 30 years old. I’m not afraid of being along in a forest at night.

He tucked himself into the extremely comfortable downy bed, and tried to convince himself of that for most of the night.

But every noise, no matter how small – every scratch amplified in his ears and competed with the pounding of his heart. Is that a frog? Yes, that’s a bullfrog. Wait, then what is that? It’s okay it’s just the breeze in the trees. It’s just the breaking of a branch.

He tossed and turned most of the night and swore that first thing tomorrow he was going to find whatever tree limb was scraping against the roof and chop it down.  Finally, sometime early, as the noises of the night turned into the songs of the morning birds just before dawn, he finally fell asleep.

The only thing worse than not getting enough sleep was wanting to sleep, being extremely tired, but unable to relax

In the morning light, nothing looked as it did last night. The noises of the forest outside his window were welcoming, happy even.  Even with the falling autumn leaves, there were signs of life everywhere. The cabin and the forest around it was truly beautiful. Nothing to be frightened of.

He was tired from not having gotten enough rest, but his stomach beckoned him to get up and get something to eat.

Wandering into the kitchen, he tried to make a plan for his day. There was a significant amount of research he needed to do in order to write the article, but he knew that the real power of words came from the emotional element. He needed to conduct some interviews with as many of the villagers as he could although they had cautioned him there were only a few people left.  He also knew that Yoongi had some written records he wanted to go over. Then there was the internet research that he could have started on back in the city, but had decided to hold off on until he arrived in the village so that he could be ‘in’ the piece he was writing.

It was one of the things that had made him such a well-liked journalist even though he was rather young. He always placed himself in whatever he was writing as much as possible even if that had meant traveling halfway across the world. That was one of the main reasons he had decided to come to the mountain. But there was another reason. He had known Namjoon for several years. He met him shortly after the death of his mother when he rented out the apartment next to Taehyung. It was a temporary home base for him while he was in the city.  But he had spoken so much about where he was from and the village in which he lived. It had been intriguing to think of Namjoon having a home, a past to look back on with fondness. A place to return to. Taehyung would never have that. The only home Taehyung had ever known was gone.

He wasn’t one to hold onto memories. To hold onto home. He kept moving. Kept his mind asking the questions he thought he could find answers to. Questions outside of his life, questions about the world, anything far removed from himself. He did have a handful of warm memories of his mother holding him in the rocking chair, laying back in her arms and reaching up toward her face which was surprisingly as beautiful and young in his memory as it was the day he came home to the news that she had suddenly passed. He had also a few memories of walking outside with her, holding her hand as he looked up at her face shining and hair sparkling in the sunlight.

He held on those memories tightly. As even up until this point in his life, they were the only times he ever felt truly safe and loved.

The kitchen, just as Namjoon had promised, was well stocked. He filled the kettle and looked for some tea and honey. He found the tea easily enough, but there was no honey, only a container of sugar. He preferred honey, but it truly didn’t matter and he often substituted sugar for honey. However, the missing honey was the perfect reason to head down to the tavern. He knew he didn’t need an excuse, but he wanted one as he always preferred that people regard him as aloof, independent, and not one to seek out the company of others. He had been that way so long he hadn’t even question it.

Stepping out into the morning autumn air, he realized he should have grabbed his coat, but decided to just walk a little faster than usual to warm himself up.

The tavern was open as Jin said it would be. And he was surprised to see that there were four or five other people at the tables eating breakfast. The smell was heavenly. This was his second encounter with Jin’s cooking and he was convinced the man was a magician.

Sitting down at bar, he began to feel the warmth return to his body with the cozy temperature in the tavern and the greeting he received.

“Taehyung!” Jin exclaimed. “I wondered if we’d get to see you this morning. I was keeping things warm in the hopes you would come down for breakfast.”

“Yeah, I went to make some tea in the cabin, but realized there was no honey.”

“Ah, I can take care of that,” Jin said as he knelt down to retrieve a jar of honey from the cabinet. “Now let’s get you some tea to go with that. And how about some warm rice? I can make gyeranbop if you don’t mind waiting a minute for me to fry the egg?”

“That sounds really good. Yes, please.” Taehyung’s stomach growled just thinking about it. It also occurred to him that he was likely going to need bigger pants if he spent too much time in Jin’s tavern. And then remembering his manners. “Thank you so much. I had a rough night.”

“Was the cabin not…” Jin started but was interrupted by the sound of the back door slamming in the kitchen. They both looked to the open archway between the kitchen and tavern – where a very dirty Jungkook stood rubbing his hands with a paper towel.

“I found a few more sweet potatoes in the garden. And I think with the cabbage I brought you today – you should be able to make several batches of...” His eyes landed on Taehyung as he spoke. The pause was uncomfortable. Jin looked back and forth between them. Taehyung didn’t look away and he felt like his tongue was frozen.

Jungkook blinked his eyes a few times and shook his head. “You can use it all for kimchi. I put it next to the sink.”

“Thank you. Thank you. It’s in my plan for this week.” He sat the bowl in front of Taehyung and turned back to Jungkook. “Come eat. I made plenty.”

Jungkook looked down at his clothes. “No, I’m filthy from the garden and I…”

“Are your hands clean?” Jin asked laughingly.

Jungkook took down, turned his hands palm up, palm down and back again. “Yes.”

Jin placed another bowl next to Taehyung. “Sit. Eat.”

Jungkook walked around to the stools, but stopped before sitting down. He addressed Taehyung directly. “Do you mind?”

Taehyung shrugged but didn’t look up from his food. “Not at all. Please.”

They ate in silence for a few minutes as Jin disappeared into the kitchen. Taehyung caught the odor of a very distinct smell. He hadn’t noticed it before, so he assumed it must be coming from Jungkook. It was earthy, like the soil, but not unpleasant. It was spicy like ginger, but at the same time a sweetness like honey. He couldn’t place it, but he wondered if it was something from the garden.

Jin reemerged from the kitchen carrying a up of tea and sat it down in front of Taehyung. He stopped eating to put some honey in the tea and take a sip.

Jin asked him, “feeling better?”

Taehyung felt Jungkook’s head whip around and his eyes on him. “What’s wrong?”

Taehyung didn’t look directly at him, but instead towards Jin. “No nothing’s wrong. I just woke this morning to make tea and couldn’t find any honey.  I came down here and Jin convinced me to stay for breakfast.”

Jungkook sounded truly apologetic. “Oh damn. I only had sugar in the cupboard. I can get you some.”

Taehyung shook his head, “It’s no big deal. Really, I’m fine.” He took another sip of tea as Jungkook looked back towards his food and resumed eating.

“What do you think was keeping you awake last night?” Jin leaned back on the counter behind the bar and crossed his arms.

Taehyung didn’t particularly want to have this conversation in front of Jungkook. Telling Jin that he had been a little freaked out at some of the noises and the shadows on the wall might have been possible, but admitting that in front of Jungkook felt like it would be a terrible idea. He would likely take it as a personal criticism of his cabin, or he might even begin to regard Taehyung as weak. More than being bothered by being seen as weak, Taehyung was bothered by the very fact that it bothered him. He had lived his life not really giving a damn about what anyone thought of him. He certainly didn’t want to start now.

Taehyung laid his chopsticks down. “It’s a very nice cabin. I think I was just having difficulty adjusting to a new place. Just the newness was making it difficult to sleep.”

Jin scoffed teasingly, “Namjoon says you travel the world. You’ve been in two countries in one day. And you aren’t used to sleeping in different places?”

Taehyung could hear Jungkook’s silence next to him.

“Well. That’s true…” he stammered. “I mean I’m used to being in different beds every night.”

He realized what he said immediately as Jin burst into laughter and Jungkook whipped his head around towards him again. Taehyung looked between them. He wanted to correct his sentence. To laugh about it and explain that wasn’t what he meant. But he swallowed all of that back.

“The life of a single guy in a different city all the time.” He shrugged. "That's just the way it is."

Jin raised one eyebrow and looked directly at him, “Uh, yeah…uh huh.” He reaching down to Taehyung’s empty bowl. “Can I get you some more?”

Taehyung shook his head, “No. Thank you though. That was really good.”

Pull the curtains and you won't see the shadows on the walls.

Taehyung heard it clearly in his head, but he knew it wasn’t spoken aloud. He looked at Jungkook’s profile.

“There are some curtains pulled back on the sides of the windows. You may not have noticed them.” He took another bite of rice and chewed without meeting Taehyung’s glare.

Jin turned back to them and nodded. “Oh yeah, the moonlight can make some very long shadows on the walls. It’s easy to let your imagination run wild.”

“No, that wasn’t it at all!” Taehyung protested. “Seriously it was just a first night thing. I’m sure tonight I will be fine.”

“Of course you will.” Jin smiled at him. “Also, if you want, I have a tincture I could give you to help you sleep? Just to relax you.”

“No. I think I’ll be fine. I just needed to get settled in and organized,” he explained. “I was going over all the things I want to research and how I want to approach the article. The sleeplessness was honestly most likely just excitement.”

“What’s your plan of attack,” Jin asked.

“Today I’m going to pull some research on endangered places and see what if anything has been successful in other cases. I’m also going to draft some interview questions and a schedule.” Then remembering, “Oh and I need to get in touch with Yoongi about the physical histories and journals that he has.”

Jin removed Jungkook’s empty bowl and placed it on the back counter. “Any idea what your timeframe is? Like how long everything might take.”

Taehyung thought for a moment before answering. His general rule was to take as long as he needed. But in this case, time was somewhat of an issue as the planning committees for the Winter Olympics would be convening in less than six months. If they went ahead and decided to destroy the village and the mountain forest, they would likely start construction of the ski slope next fall. Timing the article, the legal measures Namjoon was pursuing and the resulting publicity would be critical to their success.

“Maybe before the first snow hits,” Taehyung took a guess.

Then from his ride side, Jungkook spoke. “Too bad you won’t be here over winter. The forest and the mountain in winter is like a completely different world.”

“Very true,” Jin confirmed. He motioned between them. “Jungkook, when are you planning to take Taehyung and show him around the area?”

“Soon.” Jungkook answered quickly and then looked directly at Taehyung. “Not today as I have to finish some work in the garden. But we’ll need make time to do that soon before it gets too cold.”

Even with as little as he had heard him speak, Taehyung noticed that Jungkook didn’t seem to ask questions like ‘Is that okay?’ or ‘How would you like to do it?’ He seemed to be in the habit of telling people what was going to happen. Even his questions, like earlier when he had asked Taehyung what was wrong, didn’t come out like questions. It was more like he was just leading people toward what their next sentence should be not actually asking for information or opinion.

“Fine with me.” Taehyung stood up to leave. “It’s your place. I’m just a guest.” He put his hand behind his back to retrieve his wallet, but Jin wouldn’t even let him pull it out.

“Exactly, you’re a guest. Put your money away.” He wipes down the counter. “Oh, and if no one told you, tomorrow night is a gathering of sorts. We usually have a bonfire every month and you are just in time for this one. It will be a good opportunity for you to talk casually with everyone. Maybe get a better feel for things here.”

“Sounds great. I will.” Taehyung walked closer to the door. “And thank you so much for breakfast.”

“Remember you’re welcome here anytime.” Jin smiled and headed into the kitchen. He started to say goodbye to Jungkook who was still sitting there, but changed his mind. Something in his gut made him think it might be easier to get along with him if he didn’t get too familiar.

As he got halfway through the door to the outside, he heard it, clear as day. He didn’t even turn back. He recognized the voice. It was kind, but very commanding.

Sleep well tonight.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Jungkook waited until he was absolutely sure that Taehyung had gotten at least halfway to the cabin before he got off the stool and went into the kitchen to find Jin. He had a lot to do today but his mind was troubled. It had been for close to 24 hours now.

Rather it was more troubled than usual. Worry and stress had been a regular thing for him, but this was different. It wasn’t just uncertainty or anxiety.

The moment Taehyung had walked into the tavern, the whole air had shifted. Jungkook’s whole mood had shifted. He felt like he had been put on alert. Not that there was necessarily danger, but there was something.

And the smell. Last night he dismissed it as being a one-time thing. Perhaps something lingering on Taehyung’s skin from the city, but this morning he had smelled it again and it was even stronger. It wasn’t cologne. It was him. A smell like leather and driftwood, but something sweeter yet still slightly bitter underneath like amaretto, a mix of almonds and cherries. Although Taehyung had left the tavern at least ten minutes ago, and Jungkook was surrounded by the smells of food in the kitchen, the scent from Taehyung lingered.

Jin was busy washing some dishes. But even with his back turned he still addressed Jungkook the moment he stepped into the kitchen.

“What's got you rattled? You seem a little tense today, you okay?”

“Yes, I mean, I guess. I’m just wondering if it was a good idea to have The Outsider come up here and stay with us. What do we really know about him?”

Without turning around Jin said, “Well Joon has been friends with him for years. And I trust Joon. I know you do too.”

Jungkook messed with one of the heads of cabbage, pulling off some wilted leaves. “I do trust Joon,” he admitted. “But something weird happened the first night The Outsider showed up.”

“You’re going to have to use his name eventually,” Jin sighed. “But what do you mean by weird?”

Jungkook hesitated. Jin had been the person he had always gone to for advice, for everything since the death of his father, but he also never wanted any of the pack to doubt his ability to lead. And asking for help made him fear he could be seen as weak, despite emphatic assurances from all of them that would never be the case. Jungkook was the only Alpha, and yet he depended so heavily on Jin, an Omega, and Namjoon and Yoongi, both Betas. They were all older than him. They were the only family he could remember. They had essentially raised him.

“I think he heard me. I said something in my head that was directed to him and I think he heard me.” Jungkook pushed the head of cabbage away. “I just have this feeling he heard me. I think I know he did. He asked me ‘what’ like he wanted me to repeat myself. But I know I didn’t say it out loud.”

Jin shook the water off a pot and put it in the drying sink.  “Why in the world would you have tried to communicate to him like that instead of just speaking to him aloud?”

“I don’t know.” Jungkook threw up his hands and once again grabbed the cabbage from the counter. “I didn’t plan to, I just did. I don’t know why.”

“If he really heard, I guess that is odd. But remember, he's a smart guy, and an investigative journalist at that. He may just be excellent at reading people.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s it.” Jungkook wanted to go on but he stopped. The only way he could explain it is that the arrival of Taehyung had felt like it completely upheaved his world. From the new smells, to the feeling like he needed to be on alert to the tension he felt that was unlike any other he had ever experienced. All of it started the night he walked into the tavern. Maybe that was just coincidence, but it didn't feel like it.

Jin turned from the sink and toward Jungkook. “Maybe just be cautious with him, huh? I know there's a lot that you need to show him about the mountain, but just take things slowly. Don't keep your guard up, but just don’t let everything with him rattle you.”

“I don’t ever get rattled,” Jungkook argued even though he knew Jin was somewhat right. He’d been rattled since Taehyung arrived. “Besides, you sound like you aren’t sure you can trust him either.”

“No, it isn’t that,” Jin explained. “But he is much more inquisitive than I thought he would be. And I think we ought to be careful about divulging any information about the pack and such. He doesn’t need it for the article. Although we already agreed that it was fine if he did find out about us. But I’m just feeling wary about giving him too much too soon.”

Jungkook agreed with a silent nod, but resumed picking leaves off the cabbage.

“And Jungkook,” Jin looked at him knowingly as put his hands on Jungkook’s. Stilling them. And rescuing the cabbage from the table to put it in the sink. “You are rattled.”

Jungkook had worked all day trying to harvest what he could from the garden. His back was aching and he was beyond exhausted. The moon was still not yet overhead. It was just coming up in between the trees. His feet led him, without giving much thought at all to what he would do when he got up to the cabin. Everything in his head was telling him to just go back to Jin and Namjoon’s house, take a much-needed shower and go to bed. But his head wasn’t controlling his actions right now.

He just needed to look for himself. He had managed to stay away last night, but once he heard that Taehyung hadn’t slept all night, he felt compelled to go up and make sure everything was in order tonight. He knew he wasn’t going to actually talk to Taehyung or disturb him, but he just needed to see.

He realized that if Taehyung were to look at his window and see Jungkook standing there, it might make him more frightened and at the very least would make him mad. Of course, looking at the window and seeing him as a wolf probably wouldn’t be much better. And Jin had been vague but direct in basically saying that they need to not reveal any of that information too quickly. But he had been feeling the itching under his skin all day and the sensations he always got when he hadn’t shifted in a couple of days.  The phase of the moon wasn’t as much of a factor in the desire to shift as was the desire to be free or at least feel free. And tonight he was crawling out of his human skin and needed to shift.

He looked up at the rising moon. How he wished he could hear her wisdom. It had been so long since anyone had been able to seek her council and comfort directly. The most he could get was the distance comfort of the glow on his skin. But he knew there was more even though he had never experienced it.

The past, the present and the uncertainty of the future were eating at him and shifting would at least temporarily quiet his mind.

Jungkook was the most recent in a long line of Alphas whose pack had enjoyed the refuge of the village at the base of their mountain and protected and nourished its inhabitants. The village had provided serenity and community for thousands of years for the humans, the animals, and the pack. The wolf pack had gone back that far possibly even farther. But things were no longer as they had been at one time.  And although there were multiple reasons for the decline of the number in the pack and residents in the village, none of which were his fault, Jungkook repeatedly blamed himself and refused to entertain any thought other than he alone had let it decline and he alone had to find a way restore it.

The problem was he truly wasn’t sure how. And now in addition to the decline of the village and the pack, the outside threat of demolition to the mountainside for a ski slope that would only be used for 3 days now loomed overhead.  He wanted the pack to depend on him. He wanted to live up to the expectations of being an Alpha, but the truth was that he didn’t feel he had ever, and that he might never, live up to the expectations he had set for himself.

An unidentified illness had swept through the village when he was an early teen, shortly after he presented. His parents had been two of the victims of the deadly virus that claimed the lives of several inhabitants. According to Jin, it all had been just too much for Jungkook to take. The loss of the parents that he loved was so devastating that he had suffered a breakdown of sorts. And as he recovered, specific memories of childhood were gone. It haunted him day and night. He had impressions and brief glimpses in his mind of his mother and father, but he could not remember them. And he worried that there was no way to change the future if he couldn’t remember the past.

The guys had tried to fill in the blanks as best as they could by sharing memories with him. He hoped that those would some day spark his own to come back.

He wanted so much to be a good Alpha. Someone like his father – or at least who imagined his father to be - who the pack and the village could depend on. But with his father’s untimely death he didn’t get a chance to receive his training, and he couldn’t remember anything before so that wisdom could not be called on.

He knew he needed to lead. But he wasn’t really sure how. And in his efforts to be strong he had isolated himself in some ways. Believing that he should bear all burdens alone.

Those burdens laid heavy on him as he walked up the mountain. He needed to clear his head. He quickly changed his mind about heading toward the cabin and instead veered off toward the woods. He had to shift. He had to run. He had to have some peace for at least a few moments tonight.

The peace and freedom from shifting didn’t last long enough. He ran as fast as he could, but he couldn’t shake off the urge to go with his original plan. He needed to see what was happening in his cabin. Without even meaning to, he found himself behind one of the trees closest to the cabin that allowed him to look into the living area of the cabin. If by change Taehyung did look out, which he highly doubted after how spooked he seemed to be in the tavern, seeing a wolf would be better than seeing Jungkook spying on him.

He was thankful to find that Taehyung had yet to close the curtains. He could see him clearly under the glow of the fire and lamps. He was sitting at the small desk next to the window. Reading something with great intention. Even from his vantage point, Jungkook could see his brows furrowed.

And he could smell him. It wasn’t unpleasant – just strong. Jungkook didn’t have many friends outside the pack and the villagers, but he had known several humans and had never smelled anything like this. Even the wolves he knew didn’t smell this strong.

Taehyung was unlike anyone Jungkook had ever seen. He was confident and handsome but it wasn’t that. It was more how distant he seemed. It was as though he really didn’t care what others thought of him. He was aloof. Alone. It was as though he was there, but he wasn’t. For Jungkook it was maddening. Taehyung felt like a force of nature that had invaded his mountain. A force of nature that was beyond his control.

But tonight, as he watched from the trees, he felt something very different than he had when he had been in proximity to Taehyung before. The certainty and self-assuredness that Taehyung emitted in the tavern was gone. Jungkook could feel the tension coming from the cabin. Taehyung stopped his reading and stared out the window.

Jungkook stood perfectly still, a skill he had perfected. Afraid that even breathing too heavy would make him visible.

He could feel Taehyung’s pulse quicken and the scent he had become accustomed too was now overrun with the smell of fear. Clearly he had lied in the tavern. He was afraid. This knowledge was no victory for Jungkook. On the contrary it caused him intense distress. It bothered him to see Taehyung sitting fretfully as he looked warily out into the darkness.

Taehyung reached up to the curtains and pulled them closed. Jungkook watched the light from the windows disappear one by one as Taehyung drew each curtain. He had taken Jungkook’s suggestion. But instead of feeling Taehyung relax, the anxiousness grew. And with it, Jungkook found himself desperate to be rid of the feelings of fear and restlessness.

His irritation grew as well. Why was he so affected by Taehyung’s emotions. He wasn’t invested in the comfort of the outsider who had temporarily taken over his cabin. In fact, it was something that had pissed him off. Why would he care about his comfort? But more importantly why could he not relax. Jungkook began to pace amongst the trees feeling his instincts as a wolf even more strongly as he was in that form.

He couldn’t discern which feeling was the strongest. Anger at his inability to block out Taehyung’s fears and anxiety. Or the mounting urge to assuage the intensity of the panic that was building in his chest. And although he couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge it and instead dismissed it as the desire to ease his own discomfort, something inside was compelling him to bring comfort to Taehyung. It seemed like the only way he could get comfort for himself.

~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~

Taehyung sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at the small light on the table. He had closed the curtains as Jungkook had suggested. He actually felt pretty stupid that he hadn’t thought of it on his own last night. He considered leaving the lamp on through the night, but even it cast shadows onto the ceiling that seemed to move on their own. He pulled the chain to turn it off and climbed under the covers.

Before placing his head on the pillow, he looked toward the living room. Jungkook had been right. Closing the curtain did cut out some of the moonlight and while it didn't totally remove the shadows on the wall, it did make them less obvious and therefore easier to ignore.

But nothing cut out the sounds.

In fact, with the cabin being darker, the sounds coming from outside seemed even louder, more pronounced and above all closer. 

Taehyung closed his eyes and sighed. He tried to talk himself out of being scared. Namjoon wouldn’t have let him stay in this cabin if he wasn’t safe, right? Jungkook usually lived in this cabin and he hadn’t spoken of anything that Taehyung should fear.

It was at that moment that Taehyung heard it.

At first, he wasn’t sure what it was. The wind? A train in the distance?

It was steady and deep but multi-toned in the most beautiful and rich way. The sound penetrated not only his mind but his body.

It was a howl.

It must be an animal. A coyote? A wolf? Something else? He grew up in the city, he had no idea.

The thought of a wild animal even within a mile of his cabin should have scared him, but it didn’t. It was quite the opposite. There was no fear at all. And the anxiety was quickly being replaced with sense of serenity. He couldn’t have fought off the calm overtook his body even if he tried. It started off as a sort of dizzy, floaty feeling in his head. And then total relaxation.

It was endless and hypnotic. Every muscle melted into the mattress. He felt a warm, safe feeling deep in his stomach that replaced the empty pit of fear that had just been there a few minutes prior.

He’d have to ask tomorrow what animals were on the mountain.

His eyes began to flutter shut until the lids became so heavy. They demanded to be closed. As the last muscles in his body relaxed, his thoughts emptied as a final wave of peace and contentment washed over him and he fell into a deep sleep.

Chapter Text

Taehyung stood, hands in his jacket pockets staring down into the large bonfire that Jungkook and Namjoon had put together before sundown.

The moon that had been slowly waning the past two nights Taehyung had been here but tonight it still looked almost full directly overhead. In the city, Taehyung usually noticed the moon, but never really took the time to think about what phase it was in. If it looked full, it was full.

His mother had taught him the phases of the moon, but he hadn’t thought of that in years. To be honest it often made him sad to look up at it. It reminded him of the nights that he would sit with her on the rooftop of their apartment.  Especially a month ago on Chuseok, which he had spent alone this year again. Namjoon had always invited him to join them and did again this year, but he never accepted.

But he was here now. And there seemed to be no shortage of get togethers. He wondered briefly how his introverted self would manage the next few months with so much socializing. As he learned within the first hour of the gathering that the village paid particular attention to the moon, even planning certain activities depending on whether it was waxing or waning. Having fires on the full moons. This particular get together seemed to be a few days later than it should have been and allowed him to entertain the notion that they might have been waiting for him to arrive.

Taehyung listened as attentively as he could. He had spent all day hunched over research and now his brain was literally trying to reject thinking of any kind.  He actually had gotten quite a lot done. After falling into a deep peaceful sleep last night, he found that he awoke more refreshed than he had in quite a while. He still didn’t have any honey in the cupboard, but he was more than happy to make the trip to the tavern for breakfast.  

For working so hard all day, he felt like this bonfire gathering was sort of a reward. And it was. The evening was beautiful. The clouds that loomed during the day had given way to a very clear night sky. He always knew it was easier to see the stars without the light pollution of the city, but this was beyond his imagination. Star upon star dotted the night sky.  The evening air was brisk, but next to the fire he didn’t even feel a chill.

He had assumed the bonfire would be somewhere in the village, but much to his surprise it was close to the cabin. Just to the west beyond some dense foliage they had made a permanent location to have a fire. There were huge, flattened rocks and large stumps that had been strategically placed in a circle around an enormous fire pit. It could likely be seen from the cabin window or porch, but hadn't noticed it before that night.

Five of the guys from the tavern were there. The only one missing was Jungkook. Taehyung didn’t want to be disappointed about that. Jungkook hadn’t really given him much reason to like him and it was clear they didn’t get off on the best foot. Even still there was an empty space with his absence. Taehyung was relieved and his ears perked up when someone finally mentioned him, or so he assumed, even though the conversation didn’t include him.

He watched as Namjoon leaned over toward Jin who was sitting on the rock next to him.

“Did he say what time he’d get here?”

Jin shrugged his shoulders. “I told him three times I was heading up here, but each time he still wasn’t ready to come with me. I finally told him I was leaving without him.”

“Hey,” Yoongi tapped him on the shoulder. “I know you just started but how is the research coming?”

Taehyung had to admit, so far it wasn’t bad. He had been able to glean quite a lot of information from research. “I’ve mostly just did the research on the area that is the technical, information stuff. Also researched other locations that have went head to head with something as big as the Olympics.” He stopped himself before he got too into the weeds. “But I’m most anxious to see what you have. And of course to conduct some interviews.”

“Whenever you’re ready I have several volumes of journals and histories. You can take them up to the cabin. It will give you something to do over the winter.” Yoongi looked up like he was looking into the dark that surrounded them. “However, they are limited in the time frames they cover. To get what you really need you'll work with Jungkook. You’ll have to talk to him to understand the mountain.”

There it was again. The second time that someone said Jungkook was the one to help him understand the mountain. It was an interesting choice of words and maybe nothing. But a large part of him was anxious to find out just what they meant.

“Thank you. I can come and get them in the next few days,” and then quickly adding as he sat down on one of the larger logs, “unless you would prefer that I don’t take them out of your house?”

“No, definitely not worried about that.” Yoongi gently pulled Hobi down to sit on his lap. “In fact, you say when and we’ll bring them up to you.”

Taehyung had not realized they were a couple until that moment. He couldn’t help but notice the gentle way Yoongi wrapped his arms around him and rested the side of his head on his arm.

He was just about to ask more questions about the archive materials when he noticed movement over in the dark area in front of him right on the other side of the fire. He smelled the earthy ginger scent even over the smoke of the bonfire. Before he got a good look, he saw the eyes and knew it was Jungkook. 

And he was not prepared for what he saw. They had only met twice and both times, Jungkook had been wearing a sweatshirt and something like cargo pants or joggers. His hair had also been tied up in an elastic at the back of his head. And to be honest it had been obvious he had been doing something that involved dirt or manual labor.

This Jungkook would have been unrecognizable if it hadn’t been for the eyes. Taehyung saw those first through the dark highlighted by the fire. His body came into view a few seconds later as he stepped out of the darkness and stood in front of the fire across from Taehyung.

He looked entirely different. Wearing a black short sleeved t-shirt and a pair of jeans that had a pretty substantial hole ripped on the thigh a few inches above the knee. A flannel was tied around his waist which was astonishingly small. His hair was down. Long and wavy, with a few tendrils framing his face. One in particular fell right over the top of his eyebrow and dangled over his right eye.

Taehyung once again found his eyes locked with Jungkook’s. Once again, neither looked away.

“Glad you finally joined us,” Jin nudged him.

Jungkook didn’t look particularly happy, but then again, Taehyung thought, he hadn’t really seen him anything but quiet and tense since he arrived.

There was a space for another person on the large log Taehyung was sitting on that he suddenly became very aware of as Jungkook rounded the fire pit and walked toward him. He stared back into the fire, until he had no choice but to look up as Jungkook loomed over him.

Jungkook motioned toward the open spot, keeping solid eye contact with him, but not saying a word.

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t care if Jungkook sat there, although he wondered why Jungkook would even come close to him at all as he didn’t really seem happy to be in his company on the two previous occasions they had been around each other.

Taehyung had been sitting comfortably on the log with his legs crossed. Rather than feeling compelled to move over and make more room on the log, he felt the opposite.

Jungkook tugged lightly on the thighs of his jeans adjusting them so that he could sit comfortably and bent his knees lowering himself onto the log. At that moment Taehyung leaned back slightly and readjusted his legs so that his knees fell open, both feet planted firmly on the ground. He knew he was taking up more room that he needed to, but he couldn’t help himself.

He didn’t look at Jungkook, but he knew he was staring at the side of his face. Taehyung pretended not to notice, as he let his shoulders relax and firmly parted his own legs, bumping his knee up against Taehyung’s.

Taehyung didn’t budge.

He heard Hobi speaking from his right side. "The moon really is beautiful tonight."

“You know it’s funny,” Taehyung said nostalgically, “but when I was younger I remember thinking that the moon followed me.”

When no one said anything he continued.

“Like when you are riding in the car and looking up into the sky, it seems like no matter how fast you go or how many turns you make, the moon just stays right there with you.”

A series of chuckles and affirmations from all of the guys except Jungkook rose up and mingled with the smoke.

“I think that’s pretty common,” Jin offered. “And then you find out that it isn’t really magic or anything personal at all. It’s just science, the rotation of the earth.”

“Now that’s a sad thought,” Hobi spoke up. “You get older and lose your sense of wonder and belief in the unbelievable.”

Taehyung watched as Yoongi pulled him a little closer, squeezing him affectionately.

“Isn’t that the way everything is though.” Jungkook finally spoke.

“Don’t be such a ray of sunshine, Jungkook,” Namjoon laughed.

“He’s actually somewhat right though,” Yoongi patted Hobi’s thighs which must have been a signal to move, because he stood up. Yoongi offered to get a beer for anyone who wanted one as he disappeared down the hill toward the tavern.

“You guys are going to scare Taehyung away by revealing what a sad lot we are,” Jimin twisted his face into a scowl and looked around at the others.

Taehyung shook his head. “Nah, I’m not that easy to scare.”

“You know, when I was younger,” Jungkook began, “my mother used to tell the story about the rabbit in the moon and how he got there. How didn't have anything but grass to give to feed the Great Emperor. So he made a fire with the grass and threw himself on it.”

Taehyung couldn’t help but notice how Jin’s whole body tensed as he addressed Jungkook directly. “Really? You’ve never mentioned that before. When did you remember that?

“No, I actually didn’t remember it until last night. I mean if it really was a memory. I don’t know maybe it was something my mind made up,” Jungkook rubbed both hands down his thighs. “Last night just as I was falling asleep, that vision suddenly came to me. Then I felt restless and I don’t think I got much sleep after that.”

“Must be in the air,” Namjoon turned a glance up to Taehyung, “Jin told me that you didn’t have the best sleep on your first night here. Maybe it’s the full moon messing with sleep cycles.”

Jin looked between Jungkook and Taehyung as though he was expecting something.

“The first night yes,” Tae admitted, “but last night was wonderful. I’m not sure I’ve ever slept that well.”

Namjoon and Jin exchanged a quick glance with each other. Jin looked back over his shoulder toward the tavern and then said, “you were probably so tired from being up the first night that you were too exhausted to fight sleep last night.”

“That definitely wasn’t it.” Taehyung shook his head. “I was having just as much trouble as the first night, but then the strangest thing happened. I heard a noise like the wind. I even thought it was a far away train, but as it went on it clearly was an animal, somewhere in the woods. It was like a howl, but something was different.”

Yoongi came through the trees with an armful of beers that he handed out. “What’d I miss?”

“Sleep troubles,” Jimin took his beer and handed one to Taehyung.

“Can’t relate,” Yoongi sat down on the rock. “I never have trouble sleeping.”

“What do you mean something was different?” Namjoon asked.

“I don’t know how to explain it. I would have thought I’d hear an animal howl and then not be able to go to sleep, but the opposite happened.” He took a drink of his beer. “It calmed me down. It basically put me to sleep. I don’t think I could have stayed awake even if I wanted to.”

“Definitely lots of animals up here,” Hobi said.

“Do you have wolves?” Taehyung looked at Jin questioningly. “I don’t know my animal sounds well, but I could have sworn it sounded like a wolf.”

No one said anything as Taehyung patiently waited on someone to confirm or deny. He wasn’t expecting it to be Jungkook.

“Yes, there’s wolves up here,” he said very flatly. “But maybe you just should be glad you got some sleep and leave the wildlife alone.”

“Why?” The writer, the reporter, in Taehyung never seemed to be able to stop asking questions. “Are they dangerous? Surely they won’t bother me if I don’t bother them?”

Jin interjected, “No, they aren’t dangerous. They are actually quite tame up here, but they seem to prefer to keep to themselves.” And then firmly he said, “And they don’t get close enough to humans to interact.”

Jungkook looked up at Jin. Taehyung wasn’t familiar with his mannerisms and Jungkook certainly wasn’t an easy person to read, but he knew what irritation looked and sounded like. “True Jin. I will make sure to explain about all the life here in the forest when I show him around.”

Taehyung ignored the fact that Jungkook talked about him like he wasn’t even there. “You think we can start that soon, like maybe tomorrow? Before the weather gets too cold.”

Jungkook nodded, but didn’t look at Taehyung. “Yes, tomorrow, early. Meet me at the tavern. We can eat and get started.”

Taehyung tried to look at his profile out of the side of his eyes. He didn’t want to seem eager, but he did want to get to work as soon as possible. “How early is early?”

This time Jungkook turned his head toward him. Taehyung couldn’t help but do the same. He looked frustrated, but there was something else there. Namjoon had assured him that Jungkook was completely invested in saving the mountain and that he was supportive of the article. And Taehyung did get that sense, but he also got the impression he bothered Jungkook. 

Taehyung was relatively easy to get a long with. While he very much liked his time alone and his job did allow him some of that, he also had to intermingle with many people. Many different kinds of people.  And he always managed. He wasn’t one to back down or give in to anyone, but he had mastered the art of negotiating until he got his way. He wasn’t aggressive, but rather persuasive. The first rule of that method though is to get the other person on your side. Then you can get them to do what you want.

From the moment he laid eyes on Jungkook, he had been unable to fight the urge to challenge him. Intellectually he knew he needed to get along with him, but something about the man made him not want to back down. Made him want to prove his worth – which was a totally foreign concept for him. He never truly cared what people though of him and it didn’t seem reasonable to believe that would have changed now.

But Jungkook’s stare was penetrating. He always looked like he was a tight wire or rubber band just seconds away from snapping. Taehyung wasn’t afraid of him. He didn’t dislike him because he didn’t even know him well enough. But he did feel every nerve in his body go into high alert when Jungkook was near. Each of his senses became more acute. He felt like he needed to be ready. The question he couldn’t answer was ready for what?

He turned his head back to the fire with the awareness that he wasn’t getting any answers tonight. Resigning himself to the small talk around the fire. The time flew by quickly until he realized it was getting late.  He rested both hands on his thighs and stood. “I guess I should probably head in and try to get some sleep. Thank you for the dinner and beers.” He uttered an inaudible “Goodnight” as he turned to walk away from the fire and back towards the cabin.

With every step, he felt the pull to go back to the fire. It was ridiculous. He chided himself. He was tired. He needed the rest. And if he was going to put up with Jungkook’s moodiness tomorrow, he needed to get as much rest as possible.

He wasn’t scared to go back to the cabin alone. At least that’s what he told himself. But there was something about tall trees, black against the dark blue sky that unnerved him.

When he arrived back to the cabin, he wandered aimlessly from room to room for several minutes. He thought for a moment that perhaps he would read some tonight so that he would be better prepared to be with Jungkook tomorrow. But his heart wasn’t into doing any research tonight.

He dressed for bed and grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen. He stood there thinking about the evening. Namjoon had been right, he did like his friends. It was easy to be with them. Easy to talk and easy just to listen. The pace of things here was so different the hectic urban environments that had engulfed him all of his life.

As he climbed under the covers, the sense of unease gripped him again. He closed his eyes. Not again. If he couldn’t get any rest here, it was of little use how at home he felt or how much the story interested him. Eventually lack of sleep would catch up to him.

Rolling to his side, he pulled the covers up to his neck. At least the wind wasn’t as strong as it had been the first night. He just had to forget where he was. Close his eyes and pretend to be in an apartment somewhere in the city, or a hotel in any city.  Not alone in what felt like the middle of nowhere.

Suddenly a howl from outside. No, not one, but several. It sounded like they were calling and responding to each other. That was confirmation of the question he had asked earlier. There were obviously wolves on the mountain. They didn’t seem to come from as close as the howl he had heard last night and as the minutes wore on they got further away. 

And he didn't feel the same as when he heard the howl last night. It was just as Jin had said, last night was simply a fluke. He was tired from having not slept the night before and he must have just found it easy to let himself drift off. He laughed nervously. He actually had briefly considered that he had been lulled to sleep by the sound of the wolf howling in the distance. Tonight it was clear that wasn’t the case as he didn’t feel anywhere close to sleep. In fact his mind started to race. He wasn’t necessarily afraid of wolves, he doubted they could get into the cabin even if they wanted to and he had been assured that they were no danger. But the skeptic in him couldn’t make peace with that. Maybe he needed to get up and do an internet search on wolf attacks against humans. Just because Jin said he was safe, it didn’t mean he assuredly was. Perhaps he could find some information about specific wolf types in this area to confirm that they weren’t the kind to attack without provocation.

He started pull the blanket back and rise from the bed, when suddenly the howling in the distance got quiet, all except for one howl. His head was heavy as he laid it back on the pillow, pulling the blankets up again.

That was it. That was the sound he had heard last night. 

But heard wasn’t really the right word. He felt it more than he heard it. It was as though his ears were just a conduit for whatever is was that filled his senses completely and coursed through every muscle in his body. It was more than a sound. It was an energy that consumed him. He couldn’t have gotten up to do an internet search even if he had wanted to.

The restlessness was replaced with heavy relaxation. Contentment. Safety. His lids grew heavy, and just as last night, he again drifted easily and quickly into sleep...

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Jungkook sat at the edge of the tree line that surrounded the side of the cabin and listened to the silence of the moonlit night. He could feel Taehyung beginning to relax. He could feel it in his own body. But he continued to howl softly.

And he knew that once again had been the one to put him to sleep.

Shortly after Taehyung left the bonfire to retire to bed, they had all shifted, abandoning the dying fire to run through the woods under the light of the waning full moon. It wasn’t often they did something like that. In fact, it had been quite a while. But something about “the outsider” had given them all a revived sense of energy.

Howling under the moon, Jungkook had felt the sense of family, that he knew he had with the pack, it just sometimes felt like it was hidden from his sight. He couldn’t help but feel he had failed all of them somehow with the decline of the village and the impending destruction of the mountain. But as they roamed freely and played amongst the trees, he felt the connection he found like he lost in the day to day.

As the pack rambled through the forest, Jungkook had felt compelled to slow as they came upon the cabin. The pack had carried on running with their howls echoing. But he couldn’t resist the urge to stop.

He had watched the windows as the light was extinguished. He wasn’t concerned about his home as much as the person inhabiting it. He had heard a muffled sort of mumbling sound although he couldn’t determine where it was coming from. The howls from the pack had stopped, most likely as they returned to the fire and retired for the evening. His ear had strained to listen. To see if he could make out the words or identify if it even was a voice.

Although he couldn’t hear any specific words, as the tingle went up his spine, he had known instantly that it was Taehyung. It had been similar the night before, while out running in the forest, he had suddenly become aware that Taehyung was ill at ease. The discomfort it caused Jungkook was unpleasant to say the least. He instinctively had released a howl, and then another. The pressure and the anxiety gradually leaving his body.

It worked again just as it had last night. He knew Taehyung was on the verge of sleep. Jungkook’s racing heartbeat slowed to a contented pulse. He stared up at the moon and wondered what was happening to him as he continued softly howling until he was sure all chance of Taehyung’s anxiety had abated and he was deeply asleep.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

“Are you going to take this long to eat every morning?” Jungkook stared at Taehyung’s profile as they sat at the bar eating breakfast. Jin as usual had outdone himself. Usually Jungkook would be focused on enjoying his food, but this morning he was nervous.

Something about “the outsider” got under his skin. And he couldn’t pinpoint why, which was what was bothering him the most. He also hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep last night. Once he felt that he no longer needed to howl for Taehyung, he headed back to Jin and Namjoon’s, but again had a fitful night. He was tired and he no longer felt the unease and nervousness that had prodded him to howl outside the cabin, however, every time he closed his eyes, he dreamed. And his dreams had been disturbing. As soon as he could get time alone with Jin, he planned to ask him about it. And see if he couldn’t give him something that would help him sleep.

Perhaps he was a little crankier than usual this morning, but he couldn’t help it.

Jin laughed loudly from behind the counter and snapped his dishrag against Jungkook’s arm. “Look here, you let him enjoy his breakfast.” He looked down at Jungkook’s plate that had hardly been touched. “In fact, you need to follow his example and eat yours.”

“You sound like his mother, Jin.” Taehyung mumbled with a mouthful of rice.

The words cut straight to his heart although he tried to hide it. His mother had been on his mind so much recently. Sometimes in his dreams and even when he was awake. Sometimes just while working in the garden or even sitting doing nothing, a thought of her would flash through his mind. He hoped the pleasant thoughts and images that flashed by were parts of his memory that were returning. As for the other dreams and thoughts that were more than unpleasant and at times terrifying, he hoped those were just thoughts and fears that had run wild.

It felt like everything was running wild now. His thoughts buzzed constantly. His emotions tumultuous. He blamed it on the fact that there was an outsider so close in their midst. And he was being forced to interact with him. And yet at the same time, when he wasn’t near Taehyung, his feet always seemed to lead him to wherever he was.

That’s how he ended up here this morning. He wasn’t hungry and he could have taken longer to meet Taehyung at the tavern. However, the moment that he felt like Taehyung had come down to the tavern, there was little he could do to stop himself from heading to the tavern himself.

Jungkook shifted his weight in irritation. “Just hurry. We have a lot to do.”

Taehyung didn’t respond. He didn’t even give him glance. And he didn’t start eating his breakfast any quicker. In fact, Jungkook was almost certain he had actually slowed down.

Jin must have noticed as well. He looked at Jungkook and quirked an eyebrow and then burst into laughter as he head back to the kitchen. “Let me know if you boys want anything else,” he called out.

They sat in silence. Jungkook picked up his chopsticks and began to eat. If he wasn’t going to be able to get Taehyung to hurry then he might as well eat too. He had been hungry he just didn’t want to admit it. And the food did smell delicious. Or what he could smell of it. The scent he had detected the first night around Taehyung had only gotten stronger. It was overwhelming and he found it hard to believe that no one else had mentioned it. It wasn’t unpleasant – just strong. Everyone had a scent. Humans, wolves, all to varying degrees. But Jungkook had never smelled anything like this.

His thoughts were interrupted by Taehyung. “He does know we’re not boys, but grown men in our twenties, doesn’t he?”

“What?” It took Jungkook a moment to come back to the conversation that they hadn’t even been having.

“Jin.” Taehyung motioned toward the kitchen. “He called us boys. I don’t know exactly how old you are, but I’m 26.”

Jungkook didn’t say anything. His irritation had doubled in the past thirty seconds.

“How old are you?” Taehyung asked without looking up from his plate.

Jungkook considered lying, but knew it wouldn’t take long for one of the other guys to reveal the truth. “24,” he answered reluctantly.

He felt the smugness in Taehyung even before he heard it in his voice. “Ahh, I see.”

Jungkook whipped his head around toward Taehyung. “What exactly do you see,” he said mockingly.

Taehyung shrugged and picked up his cup of hot tea. Jungkook could see the small smile when he lifted it to his lips. “Nothing.”

Jungkook not only walked faster than usual from the tavern up the hill to the mountain, he also took the longest route possible. It was a test of sorts. To see if Taehyung could keep up or if he would complain. He did keep up and he didn’t complain – both things irritated Jungkook and yet also gave him an uncomfortable swell of admiration for the man he kept insisting to himself he wanted to get rid of as soon as possible.

“Don’t you have a notebook or some paper, or even your phone to take notes with?” He challenged.

“Nope,” Taehyung said flippantly. “My memory is excellent. I will just file it all up there until I need it.”

“So you think you can just remember everything without making any notes?” Jungkook’s irritation grew.

Taehyung smiled in such a way, that Jungkook got the distinct impression that he took some delight in being deliberately cheeky with him. “You see, I do my best work by inspiration. I will include details and facts in the final article, but in order to create something that people will take notice of and feel affected by, I have to first establish the tone and the vibe.”

“Oh so my job here is just to inspire you?” Jungkook huffed.

Taehyung held up his hands. ‘Hey, hey. Now settle down. I’m not telling you what your job is as long as you aren’t telling me how to do mine.” He walked a little quicker than Jungkook. “Besides, if I forget any of the exact details and I see I need them, you can just give them to me again.”

The impertinence was too much for Jungkook. He stopped walking. “Now look,” he pointed his finger. “I have a lot of important things to do around here. And being at your beck and call when you need information because you are too lazy or arrogant to write it down now isn’t something I’m going to make time for.”

“Really?” Taehyung smirked and then said under his breath, “Too busy with your garden of brown weeds?”

Jungkook felt rage bubbling up. He bellowed without taking a breath. “I knew this was a mistake. You know nothing about us. Nothing about this mountain. You are an outsider. You’ll never understand.”

He stared into Taehyung’s eyes not even certain what he was looking for. But he looked shocked as though someone had slapped him across his face.

In his mind, an image unknown to him until that moment, flashed through his head as he heard a voice he didn’t recognize.

A large hand struck Taehyung across the face, knocking him to the ground.

“You’re an aberration. You’ve no place here.”

The anger that he had been directing at Taehyung was quickly replaced. He was still angry, but no longer at him. He was furious at the hand, at the voice that echoed in his head. He couldn’t identify it. It wasn’t a memory as much as he could tell.

Taehyung’s wide eyed blank stare paralyzed Jungkook. He stammered, “I’m…I don’t know why I got so…I didn’t mean to get upset.”

Taehyung didn’t speak he just watched him.

Jungkook felt a terrible conflict. In his mind he had seen an assault on Taehyung as clearly as though he had done it himself. But he hadn’t. He had only yelled, loudly yes, but it was only words. Yet the image of Taehyung being struck had pierced his mind and his instinct was to now comfort him. To tell him that the voice, the hand, was wrong.

He had an immediate and overwhelming urge to protect him.

Jungkook shook his head and though that would clear his thoughts. What would make him want to protect Taehyung. He didn’t want to protect him.  And from what? It was just them standing in the forest alone.  There was no danger.

Taehyung spoke quietly, breaking the trance that Jungkook had found himself in. “Are you alright? You don’t look well.”

Jungkook clutched his forehead with his left hand. He had trouble forming words. “I just suddenly got a blinding headache.” He slowly lowered himself to the ground. Feeling the immediate safety of the firm earth below.

He placed his fingertips on his temples and rubbed. He had told a half truth. It wasn’t really a headache, but whatever had happened had been blinding.

“I can run to the cabin or down to the tavern and get you some water?” Taehyung offered.

Jungkook shook his head. “No. Just give me a minute. I’ll be fine.”

By the shadow on the ground, Jungkook knew that Taehyung had taken a seat on the forest floor as well.

After a few minutes the episode had begun to subside and felt more grounded. He turned toward Taehyung with irritation. He was embarrassed at the episode, but he couldn't admit that.

“Hey, we don’t have time to just sit around. Days are shorter than normal right now and we need to make the most of it.”

“Don’t you mean the hours of daylight are short now. Not actually the days.” Taehyung said matter of fact.

Jungkook looked at him in disbelief. The outsider was correcting him about nature.

Taehyung continued, “I just mean technically days are always 24 hours so they don’t get shorter, but the daylight hours are shorter until December 21, the Winter Solstice.”

“You mean Dongji?” Jungkook said dryly under his breathe.

“What?”

He knew that due to the low volume of his voice, Taehyung’s question likely had more with being unable to hear what he said instead of him asking because he didn’t understand. However, Jungkook couldn’t miss the opportunity assume it was the latter.

“Oh, well you see, Mr. Big Shot journalist, December 21^st has a name.” Jungkook said smugly.

The silence swelled between them.

When Taehyung didn’t respond, Jungkook tried to back pedal the haughtiness he had displayed. The battle inside him raged. One minute he wanted to taunt and show him up, the next he felt terribly guilty and protective.

“I am actually kind of surprised you even knew that.” When Taehyung looked at him in confusion, he continued. “I mean, most city dwellers don’t pay attention things like solstices and such. So I am surprised you even knew the date that the daylight hours begin to get longer and the nighttime hours get shorter.”

“Yeah, that’s mostly my mom. She always knew that stuff. Always noted the seasons and the changes.”

Jungkook temporarily felt stalled with the thought of Taehyung and a mother. Taehyung as a young boy. His desire to know more quickened immediately. Not to make polite conversation, but because he was genuinely curious.

“Is your mom still in the city? What's she like?”

The question was benign, but he could tell immediately he had touched a topic that Taehyung was not willing to share about. The air between them tensed. Taehyung stood up quickly brushing the dust off his trousers. His whole body and voice oozed with exasperation.

“Are we small talking now? I thought we were supposed to be going over things I can put in the article?”

Jungkook looked up at Taehyung towering above him, the sunlight streaming through the loose wavy curls in his hair. His look was almost regal. Like a statue from ancient Greece.  He really was way more handsome that Jungkook wanted to admit. And he was even better looking at this moment than he was the night they were introduced to each other in the tavern.

He stood up quickly and nodded. “Well let’s get busy then.”

Jungkook never felt as much peace anywhere else as what he did in the forest. He meandered through the trees, Taehyung at his heels, pointing out different plants and animals. Sharing how all were interconnected and highlighting what would happen if the mountains delicate ecosystem were to be disturbed. The previous feelings of superiority and the condescending tone in his voice diminished as every minute passed. He loved this mountain and talking about, even to someone that he didn’t particularly like.

And this was one of the times of the year Jungkook was particularly fond of. Many of the leaves had turned to the brilliant autumn colors and some had even begun to fall.

“I remember learning only slightly about this in science class in high school.” Taehyung admitted. “I sort of feel cheated. This is very important and I don’t think we ever really learned enough about it.  I know it was never impressed upon us how interconnected nature is.”

Jungkook nodded in agreement, but didn’t say anything.

“Where did you go to school?”

“Homeschool,” Jungkook replied flatly to indicate he wasn’t interested in elaborating.

“Oh? Here in the village? Who…”

“Yoongi,” Jungkook snapped. He had no reason to avoid Taehyung’s questions. They were harmless enough. And in truth he needed to provide as many answers as he could. Because there were other questions that he knew he shouldn’t be too quick to answer. And Taehyung had already shown that he was highly inquisitive and seemed to notice even the smallest details.

Jin and the other guys had been clear. It wouldn’t be a tragedy if Taehyung found out about the pack, and if he spent enough time on the mountain, he likely would. But they were also very clear that it would be preferable to delay that as long as possible. Namjoon was certain and assured them that if he found out, Taehyung would keep their secret and wouldn’t include it in the article. But it was part of who they were and Namjoon and Taehyung had been friends for several years, so he trusted him. Jungkook didn’t.

Yet he could barely control his desire to tell Taehyung everything about the mountain, including his pack that inhabited it. His pack. Even just thinking of the words make his chest swell with authority. He had never felt that way about the pack before. He was their leader as Alpha, but most of the time he felt heavy responsibility not power. All of the others were older than him and he often sought and accepted their counsel. He liked to think he could guide them without their help, but in practice there was a stronger feeling of natural equality.

But it was different with Taehyung. He wanted him to know that he was in charge.

“Remember what I was telling you about mutualism?” Jungkook asked as he reached up and pulled down a low branch on an Acacia tree and pinched a gray thorn between his thumb and finger. “See these thorns on the Acacia tree. They provide a home for ants. In fact, the tree provides several places for ants to live and nectar to consume. In return, the ants protect the tree from being eaten by other invaders. They even make the leaves healthier and more disease resistant.”

“So two different species working together for mutual benefit?” Taehyung asked as he examined another thorn on the tree.

“Yes exactly. However, you will find these are rapidly disappearing. They’ve gotten rid of almost all of these on Mount Namsan. The excuse is that they are inferior trees because of their short life and shallow roots and that they were only planted after the war in the afforestation effort because they grow quickly. However, they provide valuable timber as the wood resists water damage. It also is used in everything from food to pharmaceuticals. And last but not least. The bees. The whole honey making industry here would fall apart if all of these trees disappear.”

Jungkook looked up into the tree and carefully released the branch. “Of course, those uses must be balanced. Humans don’t seem to understand balance. I think they are eager to use the trees and they use the excuse that they are inferior and need removed to justify using as much as they want.”

Taehyung released his branch as well. “We have some of these in the city. These trees are the ones that have the little yellow blooms in the summer. With that sweet but strong fragrance you can smell from a mile away.?”

“Yes it actually smells very lovely up here at certain times. Especially when…”  Suddenly the memory hit him. Gentle but strong. He could see his mother. Bending over to smell the bouquet of blossom he had gripped in his tiny fist. And her voice. Did you and your father pick these for me, they smell lovely.

It was a pleasant. But it was the second time he had felt his mind overcome with visions he hadn’t conjured on his own. It was still unsettling.

This had to be a memory. It felt so real. His memories of his mother and father had been so scarce. But this one came to him clearly. Easily. Suddenly.

“Jungkook?” Taehyung waved his head in front of his face. “You okay. You just stopped talking and stared blankly. Your face is flushed again too.”

Jungkook took a few steps away. “No, no. It was nothing. I’m fine.” He mumbled dismissively. “Let’s go take a look at a few more trees.”

He didn’t want to look at any more trees or talk to Taehyung anymore. He wanted to get down to the tavern and talk to Jin as soon as possible. But he reminded himself of his obligation and the goal of this whole intrusion into his life.

“The mountain is home to a lot of trees obviously. And massive deforestation of any type of tree can damage the ecosystem of the area. But here on this mountain the forest is ancient. Goes back 500 years or more. They gave Namjoon an estimate that 58,000 trees would be removed to make room for the ski slope and all of the accompanying buildings and lots. And of course the village would be destroyed as well.”

Jungkook knelt down to the ground. “Ginseng prefers to grown in older forests underneath the shade of their trees. So no trees, no ginseng.”

“I am sure you won’t be surprised to hear that I have only seen Ginseng capsules in bottles on the vitamin shelves in the store. Never actually ginseng. Not even sure I would have recognized it.”

Jungkook stood up and brush the dirt from his hands. “Tell you what. Fall is the best time to plant it. We’ll do that this week. But it can take years to reach maturity. So I guess you’ll be gone. But Joon could always bring you some.”

Taehyung nodded. Jungkook couldn’t help but notice the deeper they got into the forest, Taehyung’s demeanor had slowly changed. He was quieter but in a thoughtful way. Their conversation flowed easily. Questions and answers. Jungkook didn’t feel as agitated. In fact the opposite. The tension of earlier seemed to have dissipated.

A breeze blew by them rustling the leaves. Taehyung looked up toward the forest canopy, his hair tousled with the wind. Yet he stood almost as still as the trees surrounding them.  Jungkook caught himself staring.

“There are also two types trees up here that are native to Korea. The gold plum yew and the wangsasre.” Jungkook started speaking again to distract himself from staring.

Taehyung looked at him questioningly.

“It’s a like aspen-birch hybrid. I’m sure you’ve seen one before you just don’t recognize it. Come I’ll show you.” He began to walk ahead and motioned for Taehyung to join him.

They walked in silence except for the sound of their feet.

“To lose all of this that’s take so many years to grow. It’s hard to believe this is even being considered. They could just make it disappear. Gone forever.” Taehyung shook his head in disbelief as they walked.

Gone forever.

A heaviness crept into Jungkook’s heart. The sadness wasn’t unexpected after those words, but the reality hurt all the same.

“How’d it go with ‘your outsider’?” Jin smirked as he sat a small glass of whiskey in front of him.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and lifted it immediately to his lips. For as much as he had wanted to talk to Jin about everything that happened, for some reason now he just wanted to be with his thoughts. He didn’t think he could verbalize them well enough anyway.

“That good?” Jin chuckled. “Couldn’t have been that bad. You guys completely skipped lunch and,” he looked over at the clock on the wall, “it’s almost dinner.”

“Not hungry.” Jungkook mumbled. He took another sip.

Hobi appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. Yoongi behind him.

“You might not be hungry, but you sure as hell are hangry.” Hobi laughed at his own joke. “Your face is going to stick like that.”

Yoongi sat on the stool next to him as Hobi walked behind the bar and handed Jin a jar of kimchi.

“Like a Hahoe mask,” Yoongi said under his breath as he patted Jungkook’s shoulder. “Bad day?”

Jungkook sat his glass down and shook his head. “No. Not really. I can’t say it was bad. I’m just a little agitated.  Headache. Tired maybe. I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“I don’t know if Taehyung is coming down for dinner, but if so, he will probably walk through that door any minute.” Jin nodded his head slightly toward the door. “So if you want to bitch about him, you better do it quick.”

Jungkook shook his head to indicate no. “He didn’t really do anything wrong. It’s just me. I feel like a crazed moody bastard. Up and down. It’s exhausting.”

Jin came close to Jungkook and rested his elbows on the bar across from him. “You want something to settle your mind? Your nerves?” Taking Jungkook’s glass with no indication he was going to refill it. “Not this mind-numbing shit.”

“I think I’d prefer to be numb,” Jungkook admitted. “The emotional seesaw is getting to me.”

Hobi came around to the stools and sat next to Yoongi. “You have been a little out of sorts for the past few days.”

“It’s since he arrived,” Jungkook blurted out suddenly. “He makes me crazy. Jin, I know you said it’s probably nothing but it’s getting worse.”

“You still think he’s heard you talking to him in your head?”

Yoongi’s eyes widened as he turned to Jungkook. “You’ve been able to say things to him without speaking? You didn’t tell me that.”

“I thought it was a fluke. Or like Jin said, he’s just really intuitive and good at reading people. But it’s more than that now. If he is agitated, I’m agitated. When he calms down, I feel like I calm down. Or like sometimes he’s scared or tense and I feel it so I try to calm myself and when I do, he calms down too.”

All three were silent as they looked between each other and back to Jungkook.

“What?” he said with exasperation. “Do I sound nuts? It’s weird right? It shouldn’t be happening.”

Yoongi cleared his throat. “Well, you’re not crazy. It can happen. It has happened. I mean sometimes we all kind of know what each other is thinking.”

“No, it’s not like what happens with us when we shift and use howls and stuff to communicate across the forest. This was actually like I spoke directly to him. And there’s something else.” He paused and looked down knowing that Jin would likely chide him.

“At night, remember how he said he couldn’t sleep? Well, when he can’t sleep then I can’t sleep. And I just wanted to get rid of the anxious feeling so I howled. And it worked.” Jungkook shrugged. “I didn’t even expect it to. But I immediately felt his mind and body settle. When he went to sleep.”

“You’re going to scare him,” Jin warned. “Before he even starts that article.”

“I don’t think so,” Jungkook countered. “I don’t know what’s happening, but something has changed. I just…I just don’t understand.”

Yoongi patted his back affectionately. “Take it easy, yeah? Maybe something is happening maybe it isn’t. You don’t have to figure it out right now. Can you keep working with him?”

“Yeah, that’s the crazy thing. Sometimes I feel like I want to work with him. We completely lost track of time today. I felt totally at ease. But now sitting here I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin.”

Yoongi picked up his drink and took a sip. “It could just be nervous energy. There’s lots of pressure right now. But your instincts are good, Jungkook. If you think there’s danger or something is wrong. You’re going to know.”

“No, I don’t think I feel danger. But I don’t feel safe either. It’s like when a storm is coming.” He lifted himself from the stool. Pulled a few dollars from his pocket and laid them on the bar. “I’m probably finally losing my mind. I felt like I had a vision today. Or it was maybe a memory. I mean I really feel like it was a memory, but I don’t know.”

Hobi gasped. “Really?”

But Jin looked at him warily. “More than just the rabbit in the moon memory?”

“Yeah. I had another memory of my mom today. Smelling flowers that my dad and I had picked for her.”

He stopped himself before he shared the other incident. When he had gotten angry with Taehyung and had imagined him being slapped. He had no idea where that rage came from. It wasn’t like the thoughts of his mother. It must have been his own rage bubbling over.

He didn’t want to talk about it or the memory of his mother right now. The only thing he wanted to do was shift. To run freely through the woods.

“Jungkook,” Jin questioned, “are you positive you don’t want me to give you a tincture to help you relax and get some rest?"

 “No. I’m good." As he got to the door he turned and lied. "I’m so tired I’ll probably head straight to bed.”

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

After spending the whole day with Jungkook, Taehyung was dead tired, but restless. He thought briefly about going down to the tavern for dinner, but changed his mind. He wasn’t all that hungry. And there was ramen and other things in the cupboard for him to eat.

There were some eggs in the refrigerator he had made the day before. He grabbed the bowl, an apple, and a knife and headed outside. The sun wasn’t completely set but he could see through the trees that it was low in the sky and ready to. The remaining rays filtered through the trees.

He could have sat comfortably inside, but after being in the forest all day, he was surprised to find that he missed being outside. He sat in one of the chairs on the small porch that he had pulled closer to the railing. It had been a little warmer today as a few random autumn days usually are.

He peeled the eggs slowly as he looked up at the trees that surrounded the cabin. Many had started to turn and he thought how beautiful it would likely be over the next few weeks. As the golden and orange leaves carpeted the forest floor. The sunlight made sparkles over the top.

Sort of like Dorothy’s yellow brick road in the Land of Oz. He hadn’t thought of that movie in years. Just as he took a bite and started to chew, his mouth came to a sudden stop. Egg still in his hand something popped into his head.

Come on Tae, grab my hand. Look at the leaves. We’ll follow the yellow brick road.

It must have been something he imagined or pretended long ago. Perhaps something he saw in a television show. He was fairly certain he had no memory of playing in the leaves in the forest but it would have been nice. Living in the city and moving as much as they did, Taehyung didn’t get much free time to just wander outside.

He finished chewing the bite he had taken and popped the remainder of the egg into his mouth. Scooting the bowl out of the way he laid his forearms onto the rail and rested his chin on his hands. Looking out at the quiet it was hard to imagine that anything out here could unnerve him at night or interrupt his sleep.

He was only a short drive from the city, but the mountain felt like entering another land. He had been there less than a week, but it already seemed like his city like had faded away.

He took a deep breath taking in air into his nostrils. Clean air was a rarity in the city. And here on the mountain he had gotten occasional whiffs of a lovely earthy smell, spiced like ginger, but sweeter. It had come and gone, but he hadn’t been able to find the source yet. He thought it was Jungkook, but he smelled it at other times when Jungkook was not around.

He closed his eyes for a moment to just enjoy the air.

When he opened them he noticed something move out between the trees. He steadied his gaze. He could still see it, but now it wasn't moving. It was dark and black, almost blending into the bark, but it wasn’t a tree.

He slowly stood up and made his way to the stairs never taking his eyes away from the tree line. His curiosity was piqued. Still unable to clearly make out what it was he saw, he took a step toward the trees, bending down slightly and squinting his eyes.

After a few more careful steps, it once again moved just a little.

There was no mistaking what it was as his eyes locked with a wolf standing about 15 yards away partially camouflaged between two trees. Taehyung stopped walking. He wasn’t afraid, but he still didn’t think he should get too close.

He couldn’t make out the eyes, but he could tell by the way the head was angled that he was staring directly at him. Taehyung stood up straight again. Now that he had seen it, it was impossible to lose sight of it again even though it hardly moved. He wondered how long it had been there and why he hadn’t seen it earlier.

Jin had said there were no animals to fear on the mountain, but Taehyung wasn’t going to take a chance. He began to walk up the steps and back onto the porch without turning away from the animal in the distance.

“I wonder if you’re the one that sings me to sleep every night,” he called out gently as he looked towards the eggs on the rail. Picking up the bowl he descended cautiously down the steps again and went to the spot where he had been able to first make out the wolf clearly.

Setting down the bowl and tipping it to let the eggs fall out onto the ground, he said, “I’m not going to eat the rest of these. Maybe you want them. Consider it my thank you for helping me sleep. I’m not sure I could do it up here without you.”

He felt momentarily proud of himself. He wasn’t afraid and he felt some sense of accomplishment. Something he could tell the others about tomorrow. Maybe even brag about. Last night after he had told them about being lulled to sleep when they all found out that he had been having trouble, he couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed. Like maybe they thought he was crazy or even worse they realized how unsettled and afraid he had been in the cabin alone. Befriending the mountain wildlife would surely gain him some credibility. He turned to go back into the house taking a few glances back towards the wolf who had not moved in the slightest.

As he stepped over the threshold and turned to pull the door closed, he nodded toward the animal, somewhat reverently.  “Thank you.”

Chapter Text

Taehyung woke to a symphony of chirping shortly after the sun had come up. It had been happening like that for a few days. He had always associated birds singing with the spring and summer never noticing that they were equally as loud in the fall. And he had been surprised when Jungkook explained that sometimes birds get even louder in the autumn. For some adult birds they are staking the claim on their winter nest and letting other birds know the nest is theirs. And for some birds who had just been born in the spring, now, having left their baby birdness behind were teenager birds. And they were loud because they were practicing for the spring when they would try to find a mate.

When Taehyung had quipped, “So basically they are honing their pick-up lines for the bird bar in the spring?” Jungkook had laughed appreciatively, which pleased Taehyung more than he had expected it would.

And then his face had softened. So soft, Taehyung felt like he could see the little boy inside now the seemingly over-confident take charge man.

His voice had been equally as gentle when he said, “They have to get their song just right so that their mate will recognize them when they hear it. And not only that...it’s important they get it right, because it’s also the sound that will always bring them home. Always bring them comfort.”

Taehyung had been so taken with the change in his demeanor, he was too stunned to say anything and any joke or quip he could have spouted off just disappeared in the tenderness of the moment.

But that happened a few days ago. In one of the moments when Jungkook seemed to be in a good mood. Moments he could never quite predict.

Jungkook. Damn. He threw back the covers and jumped up. Looking at the clock his fear was confirmed. He was supposed to meet Jungkook at the tavern for breakfast just before the sun came up as they were planning to get an earlier start on the day. Which meant he was now late and Jungkook would be sitting down there waiting on him, likely getting more irritated with each passing moment.

He couldn’t help it. He had set his alarm, but he must not have turned it on. And he had been sleeping far too well to wake up on his own. The gift of the eggs to the wolf outside his cabin a few weeks ago had clearly been much appreciated. He had even come back several times, each time getting a little closer to the cabin. And of course, every night, the very moment darkness fell into the trees and Taehyung began to feel wary as he looked out his bedroom window, the howling would start. It was hypnotizingly soothing and he couldn’t resist it. It always put him into an easy, peaceful sleep.

But things were not going to be peaceful when he got down to the tavern. Jungkook was always reminding him how precious his time was and he couldn’t afford to waste it. He would most definitely be irritated or possibly even angry.

Pulling out the first clothes his eye caught when he opened the drawer, he dressed as quickly as he possibly could. Splashed cold water on his face and rinsed his mouth. Ran his fingers through his hair. It had grown so quickly in the time he had been there. He always had struggled with some stray locks that curled in their own way and wanted too do their own thing. But it had become even wilder.

He pulled on a jacket as the late autumn air had become almost chilly at times and hurriedly darted out the door turning once to make sure it closed.

When he started off the porch, he saw him standing there at the base of the steps.

Jungkook. Jungkook with a scowl.

“I know, I know,” he began his apologies. “I set my alarm but I must have not turned it on and…”

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just get going.”

Jungkook’s expression didn’t look like it didn’t matter. It looked like it really did matter. Or something did. His dark brows still slanted angrily. The positioning of his body was stiff. Hunched over. Hands thrust into his pockets. 

“Well, I thought we were going to the tavern first. I can wait to eat, but I usually have at least some tea and…”

“You should have had your tea already,” Jungkook said angrily. “We don’t have time to waste at the tavern this morning.”

Taehyung’s apologetic mood immediately soured. Stomping down the porch steps much harder than he needed to.

“I wouldn’t have to go to the tavern for tea if you’d left some fucking honey in the cabin.”

Jungkook’s head whipped towards him as though the criticism had cut him to the bone. “You know I don’t have to do this. Waste my time showing you the mountain.”

Taehyung didn’t hesitate one second. “Yeah, well guess what I don’t have to do this either. You can write your own damn article.”

The glare between the two men was unbreakable. Taehyung didn’t consider himself to be someone who was easily provoked. He had always been able to laugh off conflict. Slide through a confrontation without ever really conceding.

It was different with Jungkook. Taehyung could hardly calm himself when Jungkook became irritated with him. He wasn’t sure if he could take Jungkook in a physical fight, but he knew he could take him in a verbal one.

“You know, what it is with you?” Taehyung’s tone was sharp as he snarled. “You got some type of bitch or dick switch that just flips and you become a raging asshole?”

“Yeah, I guess I do and it seems that it always happens when you’re around.”

“You are the moodiest bastard I’ve ever met.”

Jungkook’s face contorted as though Taehyung had actually hit him with him fist.  But it wasn't just Jungkook who was affected. Even though he had been the one who said it, Taehyung felt like he had been the one hit with the fist. It was so sudden and startling that they both just stood staring at each other. The previous anger and tension was replaced with disbelief. Taehyung regretted that he had let Jungkook’s bad mood get to him. I mean it wasn’t an exaggeration or a lie. Jungkook was moody. In the weeks that Taehyung had been on the mountain, Jungkook had been an array of moods and emotions. Taehyung never really knew for sure what would suddenly set him off. Or why sometimes he was terribly cranky in the morning and then would soften after a few hours showing him around the mountain. But true or not, Jungkook’s reaction made him sorry he had said it and the pain he himself felt in the moment made him twice as sorry. He was readying to make it right somehow. Try to smooth things over when creaking wheels coming toward them caught both their attention.

“Nah…trust me, Yoongi here is as moody as they come,” Hobi grunted as he pulled the handle on a small wagon type crate filled with books and notebooks. “Jungkook’s mood swings are nothing compared to Yoongi’s.”

Yoongi, who was bringing up the rear of the wagon, seemed unbothered by the comment and simply shrugged his shoulders as if to indicate that it was true.

“We decided to bring some of the journals and histories up to you,” Hobi said as he pulled the wagon to a stop at the base of the porch next to Taehyung. “It’s more convenient for you to have them whenever you might want to look at them, day or night. And with it getting colder, you might not always want to come down to us. If we get that snow they are predicting, you won’t be able to anyway.”

“Maybe you’ll get the article done before the snow?” Yoongi asked. “You didn’t seem too excited about being here over the winter.”

Taehyung was aware that his plan had been to finish the article before the first snow hit. But the past few weeks had flown by. Even with Jungkook’s moodiness, he had enjoyed his time on the mountain. He had enjoyed the company of the other guys.  

He had been so comfortable. He did something that was unprecedented for him.

He had unpacked.

It had been said many times how different the mountain was in the winter. And considering that the mountain was being planned to be used for the Winter Olympics if they couldn’t stop it, it seemed wise to stay into the winter months and see what it was actually like. He thought it might help him write a better article.

But in truth, something that Taehyung would only ever admit to himself, he wasn’t in any hurry to leave – winter or not. And for one of the first times in a decade he felt at home even though he was in Jungkook’s home.

“The article is taking a little longer than I planned. So I expect I will be here into the winter.” Taehyung motioned towards Jungkook, “anyway, he says the mountain is different in winter and I should experience it.”

But Jungkook was no longer standing there.

“Where the hell’d he go?” Taehyung looked back to Yoongi and Hobi.

Neither showed shock or any real expression at all. Hobi shrugged his shoulders and Yoongi stayed silent.

Taehyung looked back to where Jungkook had stood just moments prior. He hadn’t even heard him walk off. It occurred to him that he might have upset Jungkook even more than he thought.

“He likely headed down to the tavern,” Hobi offered. “This morning I heard Jin saying that another family was planning to leave the mountain and move into the city. Jungkook will want to find out who so that he can try to convince them to stay.”

“Why is that so important to him?”

“A couple of reasons,” Hobi explained. “Jungkook doesn’t need a lot of money, but he does like to earn at least a little. People here connect him to the city where he can go and do odd jobs on occasion to earn a little cash. Less people…less chance of that. And if this village goes empty or mostly empty that is just one more reason for the Olympic Committee to justify tearing it down.”

“He seems to take a lot of responsibility on himself,” Taehyung mused aloud. “Like he acts like he is responsible for everything that happens up here. And that he wants it that way…yet it also seems to make him miserable.”

His comment hung in the air. Neither Yoongi or Hobi seemed eager to defend or criticize Jungkook. Truth be told, Taehyung didn’t want them to do either. He just wanted to understand. And what bothered him the most was that he wanted to understand.

And then very simply, Yoongi said, “Jungkook just hasn’t found his balance.”

Hobi nodded in agreement. “It’s true. If you can imagine him walking a tightrope way up high above the ground, Jungkook is always looking down, and while he is looking down, he will never get the balance he needs to get to the other side.”

The words resonated with Taehyung. Balance was something his mother spoke of in her later years. She would often tell him that he was off balance and his heart and mind would settle when he found it. He never really understood what she meant. Only that she was right. He often felt something was off balance as an older teen and a young adult man. It was evidenced by his erratic life and his consistent discontent. Both of which got significantly worse after the death of his mother.

Even still, the push and pull of feeling closer to Jungkook and then suddenly feeling rejected and sometimes disliked unsettled him too much for him to be able to put it all together and feel empathy. He still felt irritation.

“Maybe,” he said much more contemptuously than he had intended, “or maybe he is just fucking moody.” Then more quietly he muttered to himself, “maybe it’s a full moon.”

“What?” Hobi obviously heard what he hadn’t actually intended him to. It was more of a comment he made to himself. Something his mother used to talk about.

“My mom,” Taehyung explained. “She used to say things like that about the moon. When it would be full or new or whatever. She would say the moon affected her mood. That she was just too sensitive to it. But I never saw her mood change with the moon. She always seemed to have one mood when it came to the moon. It made her sad.”

Yoongi walked closer to Taehyung, putting his hand on his shoulder. He didn’t say a word, but it was a question all the same. Taehyung was surprised that for once he didn’t mind talking about her. He wanted to. It seemed like he never did anymore and it made her absence that much more painful for him.

“I’d catch her sitting on our roof alone. She’d stare at the moon and she’d cry.” He looked up at the cabin and swallowed back his own tears that he didn’t want them to see. “Even when we would sit together, she wouldn’t cry aloud, but she would look so sadly up at it. She never would tell me why it made her sad. She would only say with tears lining her eyes, ‘It’s just so beautiful.’ And I never pressed the issue, because I never wanted to do anything to make her sad.”

He sniffed and wiped the back of his hand across his eyes to make sure nothing had escaped. Suddenly uncomfortable with his vulnerability he quickly said, “Anyway, whatever Jungkook’s problem is, I’m sure he’ll get over it. And it doesn’t matter to me today anyway, now that you’ve brought all of this material up, I need to spend time going through it not playing in the forest.”

“Taehyung,” Hobi started gently, “I think talking about people we’ve lost is good and you can always…”

But he wasn’t going to have any of it. The guys on the mountain were nice enough and he enjoyed their company, but the last thing he wanted was their pity.

“No, no,” he cut Hobi off before he could even finish. “It’s nothing I need to talk about. What I need to do is get started on these books. It looks like there is at least a few months of work here.”

“There is,” Yoongi said quietly as he looked at the wagon. “But don’t lose yourself in these and sacrifice the time you can spend learning about the mountain first hand, with Jungkook.”

“Balance, you know?” Hobi said it lightheartedly like a reminder, but it felt heavy in Taehyung’s ears.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said dismissively. “Apparently that’s a lesson Jungkook can’t teach me so I’ll have to learn it for myself.”

“Jungkook couldn’t teach you that anyway,” Yoongi shook his head. “But the mountain will. Nature will. If you listen and observe, you will find that nature has a perfect balance. It’s only when it’s out of balance that trouble comes.”

“So how the hell is Jungkook like the guru of the mountain and knows all about nature and shit, but he doesn’t understand how to keep balanced? Shouldn’t that be something that he knows better than anyone.”

“Oh, believe me, he knows,” Hobi nodded and pointed his figure to his head. “But he doesn’t know,” he said as he moved his finger down to his heart.

Taehyung looked down at the books and journals again. Anxious to be alone, even though he always enjoyed the company of Hobi and Yoongi. They were the definition of calm, especially when they were together. But his mind was discontent and reeling and talking about his mother had made him miss her. And now he wanted to just be alone.

“Can we help you carry them into the cabin and then get out of your way so you can get started?” Yoongi seemed to understand that it was time for them to go.

“No, you guys go on back,” he assured them. “But thank you for bringing all of this up. You saved me a trip. I can handle it on my own from here no problem.”

Both men exchanged a look between themselves and then reluctantly agreed. After reminding Taehyung that Jin had planned on fixing a large dinner tonight and that he should join them, they turned and made their way back down toward the tavern and village.

Taehyung didn’t move, but just watched walked further away, hands joined, in perfect step with each other. A pang of loneliness seemed to hit him out of nowhere and he thought to himself. Did he say he could handle it on his own because he thought he could, or was it because that was just the way it had always been.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

The sudden appearance of Hobi and Yoongi pulling the wagon up the hill toward the cabin had been just enough of a distraction for Jungkook to slip away unnoticed as he had been desperate to do. He knew he had been in a bad temper when he waited outside of the cabin for Taehyung. He had even told himself he should just go wait down at the tavern. Taehyung would have showed up eventually and he wasn’t really that late anyway, at least not as much as Jungkook had made it seem.

Sometimes he felt compelled to be close to Taehyung and he hated it. He knew it was probably just because he was concerned about the destruction of the mountain and getting the article written with some hope of saving it. This was their last hope and he wanted it to work. He needed it to work.

And that damn smell. What was that damn smell. He knew now for sure it was Taehyung. But no one, wolf or human had ever smelled so strong. No one had ever made him so confused. So crazy.

With every step he took through the trees, he felt the tug. He knew Taehyung didn’t mean anything by calling him a bastard. And he wasn’t. Which is why it didn't make any sense that it upset him so much. He knew he had at one time had a mother and a father. He knew they were mated. Jin and Namjoon had told him they were. But it tormented him that he had just a handful of memories before he presented. And those few that he did have made him miss them terribly.

His steps slowed as he thought about his conversation with Namjoon last week. He had asked him about Taehyung’s mom. He wanted to find out why he was so weird about it and he figured that Namjoon would be the one to know. Namjoon had told him about how he met Taehyung when he rented his apartment in the city. She had died right before, a couple years ago now, and that Taehyung had been inconsolable. It was at that moment that he befriended him because it didn’t seem like he had anyone else in the world.

That made Jungkook feel even worse about all the times he lost his temper with him. Taehyung hadn’t really ever had anyone.  A sudden kinship struck him when he realized they had both lost their mothers. At least he had Jin and the other guys. He had his home. He had the mountain. For now.

Which reminded him that Taehyung put his life on hold to do this article. And that he was excited about it. And that he wanted to help them.

Jungkook felt the sudden urge to shift. He didn’t feel as conflicted about Taehyung when he was a wolf. And he knew the only way to stop his obsessive thinking was to let that side take over.

As soon as he shifted, he knew what he wanted to do.

He stood on the tree line for a few minutes staring at Taehyung who was sitting on the front porch with what he could tell were several of the books and notebooks Yoongi and Hobi had brought.

The piece of honeycomb he had retrieved from the one of the oaks near the waterfall was too sweet and too sticky in his jaws. Fall honey was of a darker color, much thicker and much harder to extract. He’d gotten several stings on the nose. A few were still bothering him, but he knew it would eventually subside.

He didn’t go to the open clearing near the waterfall much anymore. In the past he would go hoping to hear the wisdom of the moon, but it never came. It was always silence and when he could no longer bear the silence he just quit trying. All of his visits were in vain. But he had gone there anyway after he shifted following his fight with Taehyung. As he expected, it was still as silent as ever except for the loud buzz of a colony of bees in a half hollowed out oak tree. 

He knew that Taehyung wouldn’t likely accept the honey from him at this point. But he wondered if he would from his wolf. Over the past few weeks, he had gotten closer to the cabin. Taehyung wasn’t afraid of him and he wondered how close he could get. He wanted to try.

He began a stealthy walk out of the tree line and toward the cabin. When he got within several yards from the porch he stopped. Taehyung’s eyes lifted from the page and met his. Jungkook stood frozen. He briefly wondered if he had made a mistake by being so bold, but he couldn’t convince himself not to be.

Taehyung closed the book he was reading and carefully sat it aside as he rose from the chair.

“Hey there,” he called out somewhat cheerfully. “What have you got? Are you okay?”

When Taehyung got to the stop of the porch steps, Jungkook took a few paces forward.

“What's in your mouth ? Is that a piece of honeycomb?” Taehyung squinted and leaned slightly forward. “Are you bringing that to me?"

Jungkook took a few more steps forward to indicate he was. 

He watched as Taehyung disappeared quickly into the cabin reemerging seconds later with a large glass jar from the kitchen. He carefully took each step off the porch treading so lightly he almost appeared to be floating.

Jungkook could feel the apprehension emanating from him. But it wasn’t overwhelming. In fact, it felt more like curiosity than fear. And in spite of the tentative steps he took, he still kept coming.

When he got to the bottom stair he stopped and sat down.

“Is that for me?”

Jungkook strode closer. Slowly as to not startle him.

When he got right in front of him, he stopped and sat back on his hind legs.

Taehyung extended his hand and carefully placed his fingers on the edge of the honeycomb that was sticking out of the side of Jungkook’s mouth.

Jungkook opened his jaw just enough to release it which allowed Taehyung to take it fully and drop it into the large jar.

Jungkook licked his muzzle. He wasn’t sure what to do next. He had done what he had come to do. Now he sat at the base of the steps face to face with the person who had turned his life upside down in just a few weeks.

Taehyung’s eye rose to meet his and he smiled. “Thank you. Did you hear me complaining about this earlier? I was spouting off. Irritated that he was irritated, I guess. The honey was just the first thing that came to mind to yell at him about.” He looked down at the jar again like he was holding gold and screwed the lid on. “This is…wow. I can’t believe you brought me this. Thank you.”

Jungkook continued to lick the honey caked around his mouth and pawed at his nose trying to itch the places where the bees had stung.

Taehyung rose and returned up to the porch with the jar of honey sitting back down in the chair and picking up the book.

Jungkook watched him for a few minutes, as Taehyung glanced up at him a few times over the book, and then lowered himself to the ground at the base of the steps and fell asleep.

Jungkook spent most of the day lying next to the porch of the cabin. Near Taehyung. He would nap lightly for a while, then wake, then nap again. Once in a while, Taehyung would talk aloud to himself causing Jungkook to look up and around.

Being in wolf form was much more peaceful than his human form. Usually his sleep was riddled with nightmares and visions of things he couldn’t piece together, but next to the cabin he laid contentedly in his thoughts, not worried about what he might find there.

The sun had just barely set when the moon began to come up over the horizon. Jungkook felt it before he saw it.

Taehyung had gone into the house, likely to get ready to head down to the tavern for dinner, and even though Jungkook knew he would be expected to join them, he suddenly had an inexplicable compulsion to return to the waterfall even if just for a moment.

He could see the moon through the middle of the trees as he stood in the small clearing next to the pool at the base of the waterfall. It glistened from the bits of moonlight that reached its surface. He drank from the pool and dipped his nose into the cool water to sooth the slight, but lingering sting of the bees. While he had always considered the place beautiful, he rarely ever felt peace there until tonight. Usually he was consumed with expectation, striving in vain to hear the voice of the moon goddess, Dalnim, and thinking again that her silence was somehow his fault. But instead, he felt calm. Perhaps it had been the lazy day, but he drank from the pool and stared at the moon without thinking anything specific at all. That was until he remembered that he was expected at the tavern for dinner.

Reluctantly he left the waterfall. He'd need to shift and then get ready for the evening.

He was in no hurry as he walked leisurely toward the tavern, until he wondered whether Taehyung was there already and his steps automatically quickened.

Taehyung was not already in the tavern, but everyone else was.

“Hey stranger,” Namjoon called out. “So glad you finally decided to grace us with your presence today.”

“I think you’ve been avoiding us,” Jimin laughed.

Jungkook shook his head. “No, just busy helping Taehyung with the article.”

Hobi’s ears perked up. “Oh, so it’s Taehyung now, is it? Is he no longer the outsider?”

Jungkook shot him a look of rebuke which he just laughed off along with everyone else.

“Yeah, you know…I’m trying to save our home.”

“I’m just teasing you,” Hobi put his arm around Jungkook’s shoulders. “Yoongi and I just noticed there was some… what was it…?”

“Tension.” Yoongi deadpanned without look up from whatever he was reading.

“Yes, that was it.” Hobi grinned as he tousled Jungkook’s hair and released him, returning to sit next to Yoongi at the table.

“I was just in a bad mood this morning,” Jungkook reasoned. “The day got better as it went on. I even spent time at the waterfall today, and I don’t know, but I think maybe Dalnim has returned.”

At that Yoongi raised his head with conviction. “Not possible because she never left. She doesn’t go silent. If we can’t hear her is because we aren’t listening. Dalmin never leaves.

“Dalmin?” They all turned to see Taehyung who seemed to have entered the tavern without so much as a sound. “I read something about that today. Moon Goddess, right?”

Jungkook looked around nervously, uncertain of just how much Taehyung had heard and how long he had been within ear shot. But Yoongi was quick to respond.

“Sounds like you’ve been busy today.”

“Yes,” Taehyung nodded as he walked closer to the tables and pulled out a chair sitting down. “It was a very productive day. I was able to make it through a few of the smaller items. There isn't much it's so beautifully written. Like poetry.”

“That’s not even all of it,” Yoongi closed his book. “Jungkook’s father is the one who is responsible for most of those records. And he was a writer and very rarely was he short on words.”

“Really?” Taehyung seemed genuinely surprised. “You never mentioned that before.”

Jungkook could feel Taehyung’s eyes suddenly upon him, but he wasn’t quite ready to look up. All the same he knew that the question was directed at him. His skin felt warm and he hoped that no one would notice the change in his demeanor when Taehyung spoke to him.

Jin suddenly emerged from the kitchen. “Taehyung! I haven’t seen you all day! You missed breakfast. Where’ve you been? Alone at the cabin all day?”

“Researching mostly. Jungkook gave me a break today so that I could go through some of the material that Hobi and Yoongi brought up to the cabin.”

Jungkook wondered why he was being kind about it by not telling the truth. He hadn’t actually given Taehyung a break. In fact, he had stormed off angrily without any explanation at all.

“But I wasn’t alone,” Taehyung explained. “I’ve made somewhat of a friend with a large black wolf that I’ve been seeing for weeks around the cabin. I told you guys about the howl and giving him the eggs. Well, I finally got him to come a little closer and he laid at the base of the porch all day while I worked.”

Jungkook’s insides cringed and he felt Jin’s eyes piercing through the back of his head.

“I see,” Jin nodded.  “The wolves are friendly up here. But it’s a surprise that one would take so quickly to…no offense…but an outsider as yourself. You must have put it at ease.”

Jungkook cringed again. Jin would most certainly want to discuss this the next time they were alone. He hadn’t scolded Jungkook for getting so close to Taehyung in his wolf form, but he had cautioned him several times to keep a distance until he got more comfortable being on the mountain.  And therein laid the mystery that Jungkook couldn’t explain. Taehyung wasn’t afraid of him as a wolf. In fact, the opposite seemed to be true. Jungkook’s wolf made him more comfortable and put him at ease when nothing ese would. Jin’s insistence that he spend most of his time with Taehyung in human form didn’t make sense to him. Taehyung seemed to dislike him in human form. And truth be told when he was in human form Taehyung could irritate the hell out of him like no one he’d ever known.

“And so where have you been all day Jungkook?” Jin gave the back of his head a playful push. “I haven’t seen you today?”

Jungkook stood. “Oh you know, odd jobs around the mountain. Just little things to take care of.”

Jin's silence coupled with a certain type of smile always indicated that he didn’t believe Jungkook. It had been like that since he was a teenager.

“You need help with dinner?” He said eagerly to change the subject and in the hope that his cooperation would convince Jin to be a little more understanding when they did talk.

The corners of Jin’s mouth smirked as he tilted his head. His eyes sparkled with something. Probably an idea. Probably something Jungkook wouldn’t be crazy about.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I need some fresh nettle from the garden. Probably not much left, but I don’t need much. Just enough to make for Jimin. His back has been giving him trouble again.”

Jungkook started towards the kitchen to exit out the backdoor. Hand on the handle, he thought he had made it, but he was wrong.

“Oh and Jungkook…take Taehyung out to help you. I think that is something that might interest him.”

He didn’t need to turn around to know that Taehyung had gotten up from his chair and was heading toward the backdoor.

“Okay, come on,” he said under his breath as they walked into the garden area behind the tavern.

The nettle was easy to find. At this point it was one of the only things left in the garden. Everything else had been harvested or was long since dead. But nettle grew plenty. Too plenty. And it didn’t die easily even with the cold autumn evenings on the mountain.

Taehyung was just a few steps behind him, when he suddenly heard his voice clearly in his head.

I didn’t mean to call you that name this morning. I lost my temper. I'm sorry.

He stopped and turned toward him, convinced there was no way that had just happened. But Taehyung was standing still looking straight at him, giving no indication that he had tried to say anything aloud.

“So what is nettle?” Taehyung spoke aloud as though he hadn’t just said anything else.

The almost apology had rattled Jungkook. Looking at Taehyung he caught of glimpse of something more than the flippant arrogance that often got under his skin. He didn’t know what it was, but he felt it like a warm wave washing over his shoulders as it loosened the tension there.

“It’s a plant, that like almost all plants, has medicinal value. Jin uses to make tea or tinctures for Jimin. Sometimes he even puts it in his food. But only after it’s soaked. Its other name is stinging nettle and it does sting. If you touch it without gloves you get a nasty rash. So do NOT touch it.”

Jungkook pulled gloves from his back pocket and carefully moved a few stalks aside to find the one he wanted. “I didn’t plant it out here. It literally just sprouts up wherever it wants. It can take over things pretty quickly. I really need to pull more of this out next…”

“Dammit all to hell! Fuck that hurts!”

Jungkook turned to see Taehyung bouncing from foot to foot, holding his right wrist with his left hand and shaking the arm up and down as though he could stop the stinging with movement alone. It was obvious he had touched it even after Jungkook’s warning.

Jungkook removed his gloves and tossed them. Bending down to the ground he scanned quickly until he located some plantain. He pulled a handful of leaves and tossed them into his mouth. In less than a few seconds he had chewed them up into a wad. He pulled Taehyung’s affected hand with his own and flipped it over to see the palm where it had already started to blister and swell.

“What? Don’t grab my…” Taehyung tried to pull back his hand, but Jungkook didn’t allow it.

Without any hesitation he removed the chewed-up wad of saliva and plantain from his mouth and put it on the rash.

Once again Taehyung tried to pull back his hand. “Fuck no! Don’t you dare put that…”

But Jungkook was stronger and didn’t let go. He held the wad of chewed plantain on the palm and he held Taehyung’s hand firmly in his own.

“Is there a reason why you do everything I tell you not to do?” Jungkook said sternly under his breath.

“Gross, man. That’s fucking gross.” But Taehyung had already stopped struggling as even the tone of his voice indicated that he was going to comply.

As Taehyung’s resistance waned, Jungkook felt a surge of something. Not power in a controlling sense, but something more like the power that comes from competence. From taking care of something. Someone.

With a much calmer voice, Taehyung marveled. “How did you do that? It doesn’t hurt at all anymore.”

Jungkook lifted his eyes to find him staring in disbelief. Not looking down at his hand, but at Jungkook’s face. Into his eyes.

“It’s just plantain. It stops the sting.” The words were not easy to form. He could hardly focus on anything except Taehyung’s eyes and his hand safely resting in his own.

Taehyung looked down at their hands. Jungkook loosened his grip but didn’t let go. And he watched him, unable to look away. And when Taehyung raised his eyes again, Jungkook felt something stir deep inside.

The moment showed no signs of breaking. They stared at each other in the garden in the dim light of the glow from the kitchen window and the rays of the moon that fell upon them.

Jungkook wanted to speak, but he didn’t know what to say. Taehyung, who usually always had something to say, didn’t seem to at the moment.

The back door swung open and Hobi emerged behind Jungkook. “Hey Jin wanted me to come out and make sure you guys hadn’t killed each other.”

In one movement, Jungkook let go and Taehyung pulled his hand back, flipping it over as the plantain slid off. He wiped his palm on his pants and immediately walked toward the door. “Nope just getting my daily nature lesson.” He hurried past Hobi who was holding the door open and scurried into the kitchen.

Hobi didn’t move. And Jungkook didn’t turned around. “You okay, man?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Just give me another minute to gather up some more of this and I’ll be in.”

Hobi didn’t argue but returned to the kitchen letting the door close behind him.

Jungkook put back on his gloves and cut down a few stalks of the nettle. Right as he reached the back door, he stopped and looked up to the moon.

Jin’s dinner as usual was nothing short of amazing. But Jungkook had an odd feeling in his stomach. It was a nervousness, but a good kind. Not unpleasant just persistent. He ate quietly and watched as Jin explained to Taehyung how one can become such a good chef through practice. Though he made sure to add that in his case he had just been born with natural ability so it was much easier for him to hone his skills.

Taehyung was such an interesting addition. He appeared to relate to each of the guys in a different way.  Each seemed enamored with his company.  His natural charm almost seemed to possess them. As though they were under his spell when he was around.

After dinner, Jin brought out the whiskey and glasses.  And Yoongi pulled out a deck of cards. They plowed through several different games while they drank. They actually talked more than they played. Except for Jungkook. For the most part, he played, sipped his whiskey and stayed relatively quiet.

Jimin had convinced Taehyung to partake in shots. And it became quickly apparent that Taehyung was a bit of a lightweight when it came to drinking. However, his demeanor remained easy and happy and Jungkook even wondered if the other guys had realized that Taehyung was drunk.

Actually, he was pretty sure Jin noticed. Jin noticed everything. And even if he didn’t comment immediately, he usually did eventually.

As Jimin and Taehyung convinced Yoongi to join them in a round of shots, Jin sat down next to Jungkook. Whiskey bottle in hand.

“I was coming over to refill your glass,” he swirled the whiskey bottle. “Usually you would have asked me for several refills by now, but it looks as though you’ve barely even finished your second glass.”

Jungkook picked up his whiskey glass and took a sip, looking at Jin out of the corner of his eye. “So? You’re upset that I am not drinking? Usually you’re on my ass about drinking too much.”

Jin shrugged. “No. I’m just making an observation.”

They sat in silence for another moment watching Taehyung and the other laughing raucously as Namjoon in an effort to look cool while taking a shot but instead he had managed to spill it all over himself.

Then Jin leaned over and spoke quietly again. “Is everything alright?”

Jungkook nodded. “Yeah. Except I still feel like I’m going crazy half the time.”

“Moods?”

“Moods. Dreams. I keep having the worst nightmares.”

“About what?”

“Weird shit. Fire. Being lost. Losing things. Sometimes just feeling sad. I close my eyes and it’s just a shitshow all night long. Except when…” He stopped. He knew Jin already knew, but he didn’t want to admit it.

“Except when what?” Jin said it with such softness that Jungkook felt a sudden urge to cry.

He sighed. There was no sense in hiding anything. Jin usually knew already or found out eventually.

“Except when I’m a wolf,” he nodded in Taehyung’s direction. “Except when I’m around him.”

“Is he still pushing your buttons and pissing you off?”

Jungkook lifted his glass and took another sip. “Sometimes I guess. He still pushes my buttons. And I get pissed off, but I can’t seem to stay pissed off.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“I suppose. I can put up with anything for a while if it means we can save our home.”

“Jungkook, if you ever feel like you can’t manage it. Like he is too much for you or that you are…I don’t know…just too overwhelmed by him. Don’t stress yourself out, okay? Come to me and let me know and we’ll figure something out.”

Jungkook nodded and drank the last of his whiskey as he rose. “I’m tired. I’m going to call it a night.”

Taehyung, who Jungkook hadn’t noticed as paying attention, immediately put down his drink and rose as well. “You guys are too good for me. Beat me at cards and at drinking. I surrender. I’m going home to go to bed.”

As noisy as the tavern had been just minutes ago, it all the sudden became just as quiet. Jungkook couldn’t help but notice that he and Taehyung were standing opposite each other with 5 pairs of eyes on them.

Taehyung smiled his contagious smile, bid everyone goodnight and stumbled to and out the door. Jungkook mumbled good-bye. Caught Jin’s watchful eye once more and followed after him.

“I’m going to walk you home and make sure you get up the path okay.”

“Why? I’m fine. I’m not drunk,” Taehyung said defensively as he stumbled over what Jungkook could only assume were his own two feet.

He reached out to steady him. Holding one arm as loosely as possible. He was surprised to find that Taehyung didn’t shrug him off.

As he felt his steps steady, he slowly let go of his arm but didn’t move to far away as they walked together up toward the cabin.

“You heard me tonight.”

Jungkook instantly knew what he was referring to, but he didn’t know what to say or how to talk about it.

“Is that a question or a comment? And yes, I heard you. I’ve heard you talk all night.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

Jungkook kicked the rocks in front of him as he walked. Shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

“I’ve heard you. In my head.” Taehyung emphasized. “I’ve heard you say something to me but you never open your mouth. So I wondered if I could do it too. And I tried tonight.”

Jungkook shrugged as if to indicate he didn’t know or didn’t care in spite of the fact that he very much did.

“It worked. I did it. You heard me in the garden. I know you did.”

Taehyung stopped walking and grabbed Jungkook’s arm to stop him as well. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

Jungkook nodded. “Yeah. I heard you.”

“Well, what do you think it means? Can you do it with other people? Do you think it’s your ability? Or is it mine? Or maybe it’s both of ours.” Taehyung began to excitedly talk with his hands.

Jungkook just wanted to get up the hill. The conversation was uncomfortable. It was one of those familiar moments he had so often with Taehyung where he was dying to get away from him, yet he couldn’t bare to leave his side. He wrongly assumed that by staying quiet, the conversation would cease.

“Jungkook?”

At the mention of his name, he felt he had no choice but to look up and at Taehyung.

“What?”

“We should try to be friends? I know I get on your nerves. I know you’re just tolerating me. But maybe we can figure this out together.”

“Figure what out?”

“This,” Taehyung swung his arms wildly. He seemed even more animated in his drunken state. “Don’t you feel like there is something. Something going on. Something we don’t know? Maybe if we aren’t spending all our energy trying to piss each other off we can find out what it is.”

Jungkook started walking toward the cabin again. “What it is…is that you are drunk. And you aren’t making any sense.”

Taehyung quickened his steps to catch up, successfully tripping over his feet again. Jungkook turned back just in time to catch him.

“We need to get you back to the cabin in one piece.” This time he didn’t let go of his arm and let Taehyung put as much of his weight on him as he needed to.

As they neared the cabin, Taehyung almost seemed to get more drunk that he was before. It was like the alcohol had finally caught up to him. Jungkook opened the cabin door and managed to get them both through it. Herding Taehyung towards the bed, he stopped him just briefly to pull down the covers. He encouraged him to sit as he knelt to take off his shoes.

While his head was down, Taehyung reached out and played with a few of the waves of near the top of his head. “I did mean what I said though. About sorry. I am sorry for what I said this morning.”

Jungkook set the shoes aside and lifted his legs so he would lay back in the bed. “I know. But you’re right. I do have a dick switch and somehow you seem to know exactly how to hit it.”

Taehyung raised up on his elbows. “That’s the craziest thing isn’t it. I know that and yet I can’t help myself but to do it every time. It’s like I can’t stop myself even when I know it’s going to piss you off.”

Partially in an effort to change the conversation and partially in an effort to get Taehyung to lay down, Jungkook asked, “Is your hand better? Can I see it?”

Taehyung laid back on the pillow and lifted his palm to Jungkook. Every part of him wanted to reach out and touch his hand, but he held himself back and inspected it without touching. “It looks better.”

Taehyung pulled his hand back and looked closely at the palm. “I hope you aren’t planning on making me get up early tomorrow, because I am pretty sure I’m going to fail at that.” His mumbled voice indicated he was close to falling asleep.

“No,” Jungkook pulled the covers up so that Taehyung could grab them and pull them over himself. “You get a pass tomorrow. In fact, for a couple of days or more. I’ve got to start getting things ready for winter. The cabin and a few of the other houses. And I’m guessing you’ve got plenty of reading and research to do.”

“Hmm…” Taehyung hummed with his eyes closed.

Jungkook figured he would be asleep in a matter of minutes. He turned off the light and walked quietly towards the door.

Stepping out of the cabin, he realized he wasn’t tired. He was restless. And without even thinking much about where he was going, his footsteps let him to the clearing and the waterfall.

The forest was peaceful during the day, but even more so at night. He took a deep breath and inhaled the cool night air. It would be winter very soon. And there was a lot to do in preparation for that. But his thoughts kept drifting back to Taehyung and the moment in the garden. He had never felt anything like that before. But a part of him hoped he could feel it again.

He stood next to the water and stared down as the moonlight glittered across the surface. It was captivating and he found himself wishing that someone was there with him to see it. But no sooner than he thought it, he chided himself for such silliness. Taehyung was a stranger. And in a matter of months the article would be done and published and Taehyung would be gone. His life and his home was in the city. Or in many cities, but it wasn’t on this mountain.

A breeze stirred through the last few leaves on the trees as they rained down around him.

He heard a long nooooo in the breeze.

His senses heightened; he could have sworn it was a voice. He looked around half expecting to see someone approaching, but no one was in sight.

He closed his eyes as a chill went through his body. It seemed impossible, but he had to find out even if he had only imagined it.

He turned his head to look over his shoulder up into the night sky. His body slowly followed. The moon was right above, full and glowing.

“I need guidance. Please.” He spoke it quietly but resolutely. And he waited.

Your heart already knows he came here for you. He came for you.

The melodic voice was carried by the wind. It was as though it swirled around him like a cyclone of leaves on the forest floor. His heart was beating loudly.

“But why? Is he here to help us or is he here to hurt me?”

He waited, but the silence was all he heard. And then...

Do not fear him. Do not fear yourself

“How can I not be wary of a stranger. He is nothing but a stranger. We know nothing of him. How can he be trusted?”

Jungkook, he isn't a stranger. Haven't you realized that he recognizes your song?

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Passing out was not nearly as restful as drifting into deep sleep. After a short time, Taehyung woke with a start. Mouth dry, palms sweaty. He gratefully drank from the glass of water on the nightstand that he assumed Jungkook had set out for him.

His mind was reeling. How long had he been asleep? It had been long enough to dream.

He dreamt he was a small child sitting on a sofa surrounded by pillows. He heard his mother’s laugh. She was near. A beautiful woman stood in front of him. In her arms she was holding a bundle. She knelt in front of him and carefully placed it in his arms, helping him to hold it as she opened the blanket to see what was inside.

Two large round brown eyes stared up at him as he stared back in wonder. He stroked the fine black hair on the baby’s head and leaned in to kiss it.

I will take cawah’ you foh'eva

It was felt too real to be a dream, but to strange to be a memory.

He laid back on his pillow wishing that he hadn't drank so much. Having been drunk plenty times before he knew it was pretty normal to have a weird dream. He went over and over it in his mind. It was so real.

But there was something he hoped wasn't real, though he was certain it was. What had he said to Jungkook as they walked up the hill? Why did he make it sound like they were going to solve a damn Nancy Drew mystery or something. He felt silly, although he did think there was something. Something that he needed to know. To find out. And he had been feeling it before tonight, but after being in the garden, he was certain Jungkook was some part of it. But now he was embarrassed. 

He closed his eyes and decided to ignore his intuition. There was nothing going on and if there was he didn't need to know. He just needed to focus on the mountain and saving it.

Frustrated, his eyes flew open. He cursed himself that he woke up at all. The late autumn wind was loud. Louder than usual. He shivered and burrowed further under the covers. He knew there was nothing to be scared of, but he wasn't sure he could put himself back to sleep. And a sleepless night with a raging headache was something he was not looking forward to. 

He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Sleep, dammit. Sleep

He opened his eyes again and sighed. It was going to be a long night.

And then he heard it, in the distance, but still close enough…the familiar howl.

Chapter Text

The headache Taehyung had when he awoke was enough to make him swear off drinking alcohol for the rest of his life.

After being lulled into sleep by the howling, he didn’t wake up again. He was glad to have been able to sleep soundly for so long, but now his mouth was dry and his stomach had that uncomfortable post drinking ache.

He didn’t even try to handle the hangover on his own. It was as though his body knew where to go before his mind did, when he found himself putting on his coat and walking out the cabin door towards the tavern.

Jin was nothing short of a miracle worker.

Any ailment Taehyung had experienced in the past 6 weeks, Jin always had a cure for. He hadn’t been sick a lot, but he had gotten a case of autumn sniffles and more than one headache. Jin always had a concoction of tea or a meal that eased his head or cleared his sinuses. When he had asked why Jin was so good at things like that, he had casually mentioned his original plan had been to become a medical doctor, but he changed his mind when he saw that nature held all the cures they would ever need.

Jin didn’t seem too surprised to see him, which made him think the others must have known how drunk he was.

“Taehyung!” His voice was loud. It was always loud. But today his head was ringing.

He sat down at the bar and before he even was fully seated, Jin had laid a bowl of soup and a cup of tea in front of him.

He wasn’t sure what time it was. He knew he got up late, but he was still expecting breakfast food not soup. There was no way it could be lunchtime already. He looked at Jin in confusion.

“I know it seems a little early for soup, but trust me on this. It’s haejangguk. Hangover soup.” He set the honey down next to the cup of tea. “Don’t put too much honey in the tea, it’s raisin so it doesn’t need it.”

“Raisin tea?”

“Yep. Raisin tea. This is the go-to meal for everyone around here when they’ve had a night of…” He paused and cleared his throat, “ahem…too much fun.”

“Was it obvious that I was that drunk?”

Jin laughed and busied himself behind the counter. “You’re weren’t feeling too much pain. But you were fine. Everyone had a good time. It was very much needed. And now hangover soup is needed for all. I boiled enough bones for soup everyone, but you’re the last one up.”

Taehyung was relieved to know he hadn’t made a total ass of himself as he took the first spoonful of soup. It was good. Hearty and earthy. He watched Jin as he ate, thinking that Jin must have gotten up at the crack of dawn as boiling bones for soup takes a considerable amount of time. And that all the other guys had already had their portion as Jin seemed to naturally just take care of everyone.

He wondered if Jungkook had been in, but he didn’t want to ask.

“Well, I say you’re the last one up because I’m sure you are. But you are not the last one to come in this morning. Jungkook hasn’t yet. Of course, he holds alcohol quite well and he drank very little last night.”

At the mention of his name, Taehyung’s stomach clenched. He was worried about seeing Jungkook again. He wasn’t totally certain what he had said, but there was no mistaking what he had felt. Up until last night, he’d been of two minds about Jungkook. On one hand, he could be a total asshole. Impatient and demanding. But then there were times when they were in the forest together, he seemed totally different. He spoke quieter and said more. Taehyung had enjoyed some of the recent walks around the mountain. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone, especially not Jungkook.

But then last night, in the garden getting the nettle. Something very different happened. It was as if the two Jungkooks he knew somehow merged into one that moment. He was strong and in charge, the way he immediately grabbed the plantain to soothe the sting. But he was also incredibly gentle as he held Taehyung’s hand in place.

And in that moment, he had looked at Jungkook and Jungkook had looked at him. And time stopped.

“Wow, you must have a lot going on up there this morning.” Jin was standing directly in front of him as he lightly tapped his head. “Care to share where you are?”

“Sorry.” Taehyung shook his head. “I guess I zoned out for a minute.”

Jin raised his chin and looked at him over the bottom of his eyes and made a snort like noise that meant that he didn’t believe him.

“What’s your plan for today?”

Taehyung took a sip of tea. It soothed his throat nicely. “I’m heading back to the cabin. I’ve a lot of reading to do. I spent some time organizing things and I noticed there isn’t any information about the most recent decade which I guess makes sense if Jungkook's dad was the one who wrote everything down. But actually the information is scant for about 15 years prior to that, except for some meteorological records There are volumes for long ago, but then it gets sparse. I figured I’d ask Yoongi next time I see him.”

“No need.” Jin took his empty bowl. “I can tell you why. Jungkook’s dad was the one who kept those records. He got busy with a job in the city and then he passed.”

“Oh, so no one else kept any records? The really old records list all kinds of details, but there isn't even birth records for you guys or Jungkook?”

“Not that I know of.” He got quiet suddenly. “I’d just go with what Yoongi gave you. That lays the groundwork for how this community developed. Anything in the past 30 years won’t really add anything to your article.”

“I tend to over-research and over-write. Anyway, I already can see this is going to be a much larger project than I’d thought.”

“Is it going well?”

“Yes, very well. I’ve got so many ideas kicking around. It’s powerful. The case to be made as to why the mountain shouldn’t be destroyed is strong and so timely. It’s like a tangible symbol for a much bigger argument about our relationship with nature. With each other. It has the potential to be so much more than just a commentary on environmentalism. It’s real and I think – “Taehyung stopped. “Sorry I ramble when I get excited about something.”

“Not at all. I like hearing about your progress. Things had gotten a little sleepy around here. But you’re like a spark of energy. It’s nice. It’s good for us.”

Taehyung knew he could linger at the tavern all day. And a large part of him wanted to. He assumed Jungkook would be by eventually and he wasn’t sure he would see him today if he didn’t wait at the tavern. He’d said he would give Taehyung a few days to catch up on research so he wouldn’t be coming to the cabin.

The fact that he wanted to stay to run into Jungkook was all the reason he needed to force himself to get up and head back to the cabin. He wasn’t the type of guy who sat around waiting. He never had been and he wasn’t going to start now.

“I best be off.” He stood up and put his coat on.

 “Hope your work today goes well.” Jin took a thermos off the back counter. Taehyung had seen him fill it a few minutes ago, but hadn’t known why. “I put a bit more soup in here. You can eat later today and that headache will be gone entirely.”

As Jin handed the thermos to him over the bar, his mind flashed and he lost his breath. He saw his mother as clear as if she was standing in front of him. She handed him a thermos. She kissed him and whispered that he needed to drink it all and everything would be alright.

He stumbled and dropped the thermos.

Jin jumped around the bar and held him up. “Taehyung?” Are you okay. What happened?”

He looked at Jin and blinked as he came back into full consciousness. “I’m okay. I’m okay. It’s just the hangover I think.”

Jin raised his chin and made that noise again. The one that indicated he once again didn’t believe him.

Taehyung steadied himself and Jin picked up the thermos from the floor.

“You know I think I’ll be okay without the soup. I’m feeling a lot better.  If I see I need some more I’ll come back down.” He took a deep breath and tried to give Jin a reassuring but quick look. “Thanks, Jin. See you later.” Before Jin could answer he was out the door.

The brisk air felt good. Not too cold yet, but enough to clear his head.

What in the world was that? He went over and over it in his head trying to determine if it was a memory of something that he’d forgotten, but he came up with nothing. Yet when Jin handed him the thermos it was like he was transported to another place. And his mom. He hadn’t seen her in years. And she seemed so incredibly real. Her voice. Tears came to his eyes and he walked quicker. He just needed to be alone.

As soon as he stepped foot into the cabin he went right to work. He poured through the information Yoongi had given him making a ton of notes. He had been working so hard he didn’t realize it was almost dinnertime. But he wasn’t hungry. Not at all.

He stood and stretched. Deciding to get a little fresh air before he went back to working.

There was still time before sunset so there was plenty of low light filtering through the trees. Now that most of the trees had shed their leaves in preparation for winter Taehyung had enjoyed the warmth of some of those autumn days where it feels like summer is making a comeback. But the woods still got dark sooner than the open areas in the village.

He yawned and stretched again.

And then he heard it. The sound of leaves rustling on the ground. It was odd that he could hear it so well. Taehyung always had good hearing, but lately it had been phenomenal. He decided it was because there was so much less noise and commotion up here than in the city that his ears adjusted and became more acute.

Every single one of his senses, especially his smell told him immediately that it was Jungkook. The earthy, sweet and spicy ginger smell. Admittedly it made him sort of nervous, but in a good way.

He looked towards the side of the porch expecting to see his jet-black hair coming around the corner. But it wasn’t him.

“Hey there,” he bounced down the steps. “I didn’t expect to see you today.”

The wolf with the black fur walked slow and steady toward him. Taehyung held out his hand, but the wolf didn’t sniff at it. Without even thinking he reached up and stroked its head a few times. The wolf tilted his neck pushing the top of his head into Taehyung’s hand encouraging him to keep rubbing.

“That’s a spot you can’t reach, huh?” Taehyung rubbed a few more times until the wolf straightened his neck and shook his head several times.

He didn’t sit back on his hind legs, but instead looked out toward the forest and strode forward a few steps. It appeared that he was only passing through.

Taehyung was a little disappointed. Other than talking to Jin earlier that morning, he had been mostly alone with his research. And even though it didn’t make sense to him, and it hadn’t from his first days on the mountain, he enjoyed having the wolf around. Not only because he knew it was the howl of this particular wolf that had put him at ease at nights, but just the presence of the wolf made him breath easier whether he was lying at the base of the cabin’s porch or even if he just saw him lingering at the tree line as he often did.

He hadn’t realized how much he desired some company until the wolf began to saunter away. His heart sank a little with every step. But even if it had occurred to him to call the wolf back, he never would have done it. Taehyung didn’t hold onto much of anything or anyone at all and he had always made a conscious effort to never ask for company if he could avoid it. Even when he wanted it, it was more important to him that he appeared that he could take it or leave it.

But after a few yards, the wolf stopped, and turned his head looking back. Taehyung felt his large brown eyes. It was as if he had stopped to wait on him. It felt a little crazy to think so, but Taehyung didn’t entertain that thought. When the wolf once again turned his face to the front, toward the path, and then looked back a second time, he was certain that he was being beckoned.

“I guess I could use a short walk.” Taehyung mused aloud. “I might get more done later if I stretch my legs a bit.”

The wolf watched as he took the necessary steps to join him. When Taehyung came up alongside him, he turned forward again and they began to walk together.

Taehyung didn’t speak. But rather enjoyed the forest in a way he hadn’t before. Walking silently along with the wolf was different than the walks he had taken with Jungkook. First, Jungkook was usually in the process of explaining something or pointing various things out to him as he diligently took notes in the notebook that he carried whenever they walked.

But there was also a tension with Jungkook when they walked. Taehyung hated that he cared what Jungkook thought of him, but the truth was that he did.

Walking with the wolf was peaceful, almost meditative. In appreciation he stroked a line of fur on his back. He realized he had hit a good spot and arched his fingers through the fur to scratch to which the wolf responded by raising his head up and flexing his back muscles.

Taehyung stayed beside him, but hesitated just enough with his own steps that he felt like the wolf was leading him. It occurred to him that he wasn’t sure exactly where they were and he had no idea of where they were going. What if he got lost and couldn’t find his way back to the cabin. The thought induced a panic spike that he felt through his body.

In the same moment that his thoughts seized on the fear of getting lost in these woods and even worse getting lost so close to dark, the wolf moved closer against his upper thigh and waist. It wasn’t an accident. Taehyung could tell it was deliberate. And even though he couldn’t explain it, the touch had the effect of immediately calming his body and his thoughts.

He looked over at the wolf’s noble profile and felt the strange but unquestionable assurance that he would not get lost. Nor was he in any danger.

When they came upon a clearing the forest, they stopped in front of a waterfall that emptied into a pool of water at the base of the rocks.

It was spectacular, and Taehyung wondered why he hadn’t seen it or come across it in the months that he had been living on the mountain.

“This is lovely.” He affectionately put his hand on the back of the wolf’s neck. Talking to the wolf aloud no longer seemed odd.  On the contrary it felt quite natural. “I can’t believe I haven’t seen this before. Or that Jungkook hasn’t showed it to me.”

Taehyung sat down on one of the flat rocks on the edge of the water. The wolf laid down right alongside at his feet. He reached down and scratched at the wolfs back as he stared at the waterfall.

“Maybe he would have eventually.” Taehyung sighed. “But then again maybe not. Sometimes he isn’t the friendliest. He seems angry, but I don’t think it’s necessarily anger at me. Like I don’t think I’m the reason, but for some reason my presence seems to stress him out.”

“It shouldn’t bother me. I swear it wouldn’t have just a few months ago or with anyone else. But…I don’t know…” he kicked at a small pebble imbedded in the dirt with the toe of his shoe. “…something…well a lot, I guess. A lot of things are different with him.”

“Anyway,” he laughed as the pebble came loose. “Stupid human problems, right?”

Sadness suddenly overwhelmed him as he remembered the reason why he had even come to the mountain.

“We have our stupid problems and then our stupid selfish plans. And no regard for you or your home.” He looked around at the trees and then down to the wolf who looked up at him.

“We’re going to try to make sure you don’t lose your home, buddy. I promise.”

As he rubbed the top of his head, the wolf relaxed into his touch. Until suddenly his ears perked up in alert and he jumped to his feet.

“Taehyung?”

Taehyung heard the voice coming through the trees. Even though he couldn’t see who it was yet, by the voice he knew it was Jin.

“Hey!” he called back as he stood and turned toward the voice.

The wolf gave Taehyung a quick look and then tore off into the woods on the other side that led beyond the waterfall.

Jin appeared on the small path through the trees.

“I went to the cabin to check on you, but you weren’t there?”

Taehyung looked at him in confusion, having somewhat forgotten what had transpired earlier in the tavern.

“I was worried.” Jin frowned. “You almost passed out this morning.”

Remembering, Taehyung was embarrassed. “Oh yeah, that. No, I’m fine. I told you I think it was just being hungover. I probably stood up or moved too quickly.”

Jin surveyed the area as though he were looking for something. “So, how’d you end up here?”

Taehyung didn’t answer immediately, but thought for a moment. He wondered if Jin would think he was crazy if he told him that he went on a walk with the wolf that hung around his cabin. He had mentioned the wolf before and Jin believed him without hesitation, but he also seemed cautious. He decided to keep it to himself.

“I got tired of research and decided to talk a walk.”

“It’s starting to get dark, I’m surprised you’d risk getting stuck out here in the pitch black. It can get really dark on moonless nights.

Taehyung was in a hurry to get back to the cabin. Firstly, because it was getting dark. But he also wondered if the wolf might return if he went back to the cabin.

“Yeah, we better head back.” He started to walk toward the trees and then stopped. “But honestly, I’m not entirely sure how to get back. I just kind of happened upon this place.”

Jin looked puzzled. “You’re kidding right? The cabin’s just right over that way, through that patch of trees. It couldn’t have taken you more than a few minutes to walk here. And that’s walking slowly!”

Taehyung tried to think up an excuse. He had walked with the wolf for what seemed like quite a while. He really thought they were much further from the cabin.

“Uh,” he stammered. “I…well…”

“Are you absolutely sure you’re okay? You don’t seem okay at all.”

“Yes. Yes, I’m certain.” Taehyung tried to reassure him as they walked back to the cabin.

After asking several more times if he was okay, Jin was only willing to leave after Taehyung promised him that he would come down to the tavern immediately if anything changed.

Taehyung breathed a sigh of relief when Jin disappeared around the corner of the cabin on his way back down the hill. He was touched that someone was worried about him. Outside of his mother, and then in the past few years, Namjoon, no one ever really worried about him. Or if they did, they never expressed it. It was nice to know that people cared.

However, he hated that his time at the waterfall had been cut short. He wanted to spend more time there. Spend more time with the wolf.

He sat down on his porch as the evening started. The lights from the cabin windows created enough of a glow on the porch, but he knew darkness would fall soon.

Even still he wanted to wait on the porch as long as he could. Just in case the wolf returned.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Jungkook peeked his head cautiously around the corner of the tavern. No sign of Jin anywhere. Either he was still up at the cabin or he had made it back down to the tavern. The path was clear. And if by chance he was still up in the cabin, Jungkook would just hide amongst the trees until he left.

He took a few steps and then realized he was being paranoid. He relaxed his pace as he strode toward the hill up to the cabin. Anyway, it was dark. He could easily avoid Jin if he came upon him.

“Ahem.” Jin cleared his throat stopping Jungkook in his tracks. He hadn’t anticipated that Jin would have been waiting right inside the open door of the tavern. Just waiting for him to walk by.

Jungkook turned and began to explain. “Look, I know what you’re going to say…but I think – “

“Whoa, whoa,” Jin held up his hands. “Take it easy. I’m not going to lecture you. Except to ask you why in the hell you thought you could just run off and I wouldn’t see you. Do you not know me kid?”

“I’m always watching.” He pointed his index and middle fingers at his own eyes, then quickly toward Jungkook, and back towards his own eyes again. “You can’t fool me.”

“It’s just easier to be around him when I’m a wolf. I don’t know why.”

“But you did want to be around him?”

“Yeah…” Jungkook ran his hands through the top of his hair that had gotten considerably longer having not had a trim since Chuseok. “I did. I mean my wolf did. Well, I guess I did...but it doesn’t matter anyway. He likes the company of the wolf more than me.”

“Jungkook, I hate to point out the obvious, but you and your wolf…you’re the same.”

“Not to him,” Jungkook retorted adamantly. “And anyway, I told you the only time I’m calm around him is as a wolf. Any other time I’m all stressed and tense and he irritates me so much I don’t know if I want to kill him or kiss him.”

The minute the words left his mouth, he closed his eyes overcome with embarrassment. He might have had that thought that before, but he never planned to say it aloud.

Jin’s reaction was hard to read. “Really? That’s a dilemma I guess…do you mean that figuratively or literally?”

“Oh damn. No. No. Of course I wouldn’t kill him.”

Jin face was partially lit by the light from the tavern window. He raised his brows, but didn’t ask the next question. He didn’t need to because Jungkook already knew what it was.

“And no. No. I wouldn’t kiss him either.” He paused. “I just want to help him get this article done. And then have things go back to normal here.” As he said it, he realized the implications of things going back to normal. Even if they did manage to stop the destruction of the mountain and village. Going back to normal meant that Taehyung would be leaving. And while he wanted Jin to believe that was exactly what he wanted. In truth, it was something that he dreaded.

“I’m heading up to the cabin now to tell him that tomorrow I want to meet up and work on it for a while.” He pointed toward the hill. “So can I go now, please?”

Jin nodded and felt his heart tug. The fact that Jungkook was the Alpha of the pack, but he was still so uncertain of his role and how to carry it out, that he still depended on Jin like his guardian. Of course, that had been his role after his parents passed, but over the years instead of truly becoming the pack leader, he had struggled. He still struggled. Jin had no doubt that Jungkook would be a good and kind leader, and likely would have asked permission to leave out of courtesy, but he also knew that wasn’t the case here. Jungkook still wasn’t sure how to lead. And Jin had always been and still was overwhelmed by the internal conflict of adoring the young man he had watched grow up and wanting to do everything he could to help him become the man he was meant to be.

Jungkook grumbled to himself as he walked up the hill. He should have known he couldn’t evade Jin.

And as he thought about it, he wasn’t sure why he had tried to. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. But his feelings about Taehyung were so confusing he didn’t know how to make sense of them himself let alone to articulate them to someone else.

He noticed his steps were getting quicker as he made his way up the hill. He willed himself to slow down. There was no reason to hurry. But it didn’t work, he was eager to get back to the cabin. Back to Taehyung.

As he came up upon the porch, he realized that Taehyung was sitting outside. He was relieved as it made it easier to approach than to have to knock at the door.

Jungkook was trying to think of a way to alert Taehyung to his presence so as not to startle him when he suddenly looked up with a huge smile on his face.

A smile that immediately fell into something that looked like disappointment.

“Oh hey,” Taehyung started with a small grin that did eventually spread across his face. But it was too late. Jungkook was preoccupied with the thought that Taehyung hadn’t initially been excited to see him.

His excitement turned into disappointment of his own. “Hey,” he mumbled as he walked up the steps, “I just came to see if you wanted to meet up tomorrow and we can – “

“Sure. Yes.” Taehyung interrupted with a nod.

Jungkook shrugged and started to turn and walk back down the stairs. There was no reason to stay. His mood was soured. He could feel the familiar irritation building.

“Okay, well, see you tomorrow around noon.”

“Jungkook, wait.” Taehyung stood up.

He wished he could ignore it. He wished it didn’t send a thrill through him. Relief even. Maybe, just maybe Taehyung didn’t want him to leave so quickly. He stopped and couldn’t help but turn around to look at his face.

Taehyung hesitated, and for a moment Jungkook was worried that he’d made a mistake and he should have just kept walking.

“I just,” he looked out toward the tree line and back towards Jungkook. “I thought maybe you’d want to come in for a minute and I can show you what I’ve gotten done.”

Jungkook started to smile, but held it back. “Yeah. I have a few minutes.”

Taehyung opened the door and motioned for Jungkook to go first, which he did even as his stomach twirled in anticipation. A feeling he had become increasingly familiar with when they were around each other.

Stepping inside, Jungkook was pleased to see that his cabin was pretty much the way he had left it. Taehyung had several books and papers strewn across the desk, but that was to be expected. Everything else was tidy and just as comforting and welcoming as it had always been. In fact, Jungkook hadn’t realized how much he missed his cabin until that moment.

“Sorry,” Taehyung went to the desk and closed some books, stacking them on top of each other, “I can get kind of cluttered and messy when I get deep into working on something.”

Jungkook shook his hands back and forth to indicate that it didn’t bother him. But Taehyung wasn’t even looking at him. After closing the books, he looked out the window above the desk. Not glanced. But looked. As though he were looking for something.

Jungkook wanted to ask, but instead he just stared and waited while Taehyung peered out the window and then eventually pulled the curtain closed.

His face must have looked like it was asking a question, because Taehyung turned around and immediately made an excuse. “Sorry, I thought I saw something outside.”

He didn’t even pause long enough to let Jungkook respond.

“Speaking of,” Taehyung seemed lost in his own thoughts, “I wanted to ask you some questions about the wildlife, the animals that live up here.” He looked inquisitively at Jungkook as he sat down in the chair.

“Please sit.” He pointed toward the couch and never stopped talking. “I think that’s something I want to bring out in the article. I want to talk about the loss to the village and the land, but obviously the wildlife is an important part of the ecosystem and we haven’t really talked that much about it.”

That really wasn’t true. They’d spent quite a lot of time talking about the lynx which was native to the mountain. Jungkook had pointed out to him the flying squirrel and gone into great detail about several animals. Noting that destruction of the mountain would destroy the homes of many animals and expedite their potential extinction.

“Well, there is a beehive we can visit tomorrow. The bees up here are quite vulnerable and the destruction of plants and flowers will – “

“Yeah, I remember we walked about the bees. I have some notes on that.”

Jungkook had a suspicion of what Taehyung was really asking about.  The wolves. Or more specifically one particular wolf. For a moment it sparked some jealousy in him. A thought that irritated and amused him at the same time. He was jealous of himself.

“I want to know more about the wolves. I know that for the most part they’re extinct in South Korea. I read that the last wolf seen in the wild was in 1968. But Jin told me there are some up here and that they’re tame. I’ve heard them howl and I think I even might have seen one.” Taehyung’s face was eager as he waited for an answer.

Jungkook surged with pride. Initially when Taehyung arrived on the mountain, he wanted to tell him about the pack. To flex that he was the alpha. There was some element of pride in that, but it was more about asserting his authority – his importance.

This pride was of a different sort. It was something he wanted to share with Taehyung because it was something he knew that he admired. Even more than just being curious, he seemed to respect that there was a wolf pack. And Jungkook knew from his own experience that he enjoyed the company of a wolf.

Another flash of jealousy passed through him. Taehyung wanted to know about the wolf. Not him. But Jungkook firmly reminded himself that it didn’t matter whether he knew that they were one and the same or not. Because regardless the truth was the truth.

They were the same.

At the very thought of that, the jealousy dissipated and for the first time in a long time, longer than he could remember, he felt wholeness. He felt a moment of peace.

“Yes. You’re right. There are wolves on the mountain. There’s a pack of wolves.”

Taehyung’s eyes opened wide. “A pack? You mean a whole pack?”

Jungkook nodded. “They’re extremely important to the mountain. Their role in the ecosystem is critical.”

Jungkook loved the way he stared with anticipation. He loved the way it made him feel. He loved the openness, the wonder on Taehyung’s face that made it even more attractive than it already was.

“The elk, left unchecked can wreak havoc on the mountain. They eat the aspen trees before they can grow to maturity. They also will eat all the vegetation along the riverbanks. That vegetation is needed to prevent erosion. It also shades the water. Without the shade the water becomes too warm for the fish and reptiles. And once erosion begins to take hold, the populations decline because the waters become broader and too shallow. The wolves keep the elk population from taking over.”

Taehyung made an impressed noise. “That’s fascinating,” he marveled, “truly fascinating.”

“It is,” Jungkook agreed.

“The way that everything is connected and the way that nature keeps things in balance…as long as we respect and recognize that balance by not destroying any of our natural resources,” Taehyung shook his head in disbelief. “It’s nothing short of amazing. Thank you for sharing this with me.”

A shiver coursed through Jungkook’s body and his mind flashed. An echo of a voice, like Taehyung’s voice, rang through his head.

You always share everything with me, Jungkookie. I want to share with you. She’s your mother now too.

“Jungkook?”

He couldn’t speak as he tried to make sense of it. Was it a memory? Was it his? Or was it something he’d just made up.

And the heavy sadness overwhelmed him.

“Sorry,” Jungkook blinked and flipped his head quickly trying to shake away the tears that threatened to fall. “I’ve kept you late. I should go.”

“You don’t have to go. Can I get you some water?”

“No, but thank you.” Jungkook stood up and started toward the door. Taehyung followed closely as they both stepped out onto the porch.

The late autumn air was chilly. Winter was close.

Jungkook wasn’t cold but he could feel Taehyung’s shiver. It occurred to him there hadn’t been a fire in the fireplace.

“Do you not have enough wood? Did you run out?” Jungkook looked around and noticed there was still a small pile next to the house.

“Yeah, I do.” Taehyung hugged his body and rubbed his hands up and down his arms. “I just didn’t want to use too much, I mean…trees…you know?”

Jungkook smiled and shook his head. “No, Taehyung. You use as much as you need. We’re careful about the wood we burn. And I always make sure we replant more than we cut down. It’s okay. You can burn as much as you need to stay warm.”

Taehyung’s face read of immediate relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I’ve been freezing at night.”

For a moment, the sweetness of him not wanting to waste the wood – the shyness of him not wanting to admit that he’d more than just seen a wolf in the woods but spent time with one – it was all endearing. Jungkook’s hands twitched at his sides with the almost overpowering desire to reach out and touch him. His hand. His face. To pull him into the warmth of his arms.

To have some of the same physical closeness that his wolf was able to enjoy with Taehyung.

“I’ll get some more wood chopped up for you and winterize the cabin soon.”

“I can help,” Taehyung’s teeth were chattering. “Oh also, I saw adzuki beans in the pantry. Would you mind if I used some? I’d like to try to make red bean porridge for the winter solstice in a few weeks. For Jin. For all you guys. If I can figure out how to do it”

“Sure. Jin loves it. We always have it at Dongji. Supposed to drive away evil spirits, you know?”

Taehyung looked past Jungkook, out towards the darkness of the trees. “I’m not too worried about those anymore.”

“I’ve only helped Jin make it, but I remember that you soak the beans first. And you have to do it a large container because they expand. There’s a very large crock under the sink you can use for that.”

“Okay good.” Taehyung rubbed his arms again as his teeth chattered even louder. “Thank you.”

The twitching in Jungkook’s hands became unbearable. He had to leave before he followed through on the urge to touch him. To make him warm.

“No problem.” Jungkook bounced down the stairs as he gave a weak wave. “See you tomorrow.”

He heard Taehyung’s goodbye as he walked around the side of the house. Stopping once he got out of view and leaning up against it.

And then he heard Taehyung’s voice again. I wish you could have stayed.

His heart fluttered. He wanted to go back inside, but his pride wouldn’t allow it. He took a deep breath and willed himself to keep walking down the hill and back to the tavern. But it was no use.

Instead, he waited. Resting against the side of the house with the certainty that in just a short while, he would be needed – his wolf would be needed – to howl Taehyung to sleep.

Chapter Text

In the weeks leading up to Dongji, Jungkook tried as much as possible to strike a balance between the time he spent with Taehyung as a wolf and the time he spent with him as a human.

It hadn’t been that easy.

Taehyung had been extremely busy at the cabin. He spent a lot of time at his laptop, moving from the desk to the couch to the porch. Jeongguk could sense that he had spent so much time hunched over the computer that his shoulders and arms were bothering him.

He wanted to offer to rub them. Maybe because he wanted to touch him. But there was also a desire to take care of him. Probably because he was doing this to help them keep the mountain. But regardless of the reason he felt overwhelmed and anxious that Taehyung had become a primary focus of his day.

And he had regret. Because as the weeks had gone on, he realized that there had been a moment where they may have been able to shed some of the tension they both felt. The night he had helped a tipsy Taehyung back to the cabin, they had acknowledged that there was something between them, although they didn’t know what. Taehyung had wanted to find out. But Jungkook had wanted to avoid it and run. Which he had tried to do, but his wolf wouldn’t let him. And it still wouldn’t let him now.

He used every excuse to go to the cabin. He fixed an imaginary leak in the roof. He caulked all the windows and doors. He chopped so much wood the pile was almost as high as the cabin.

But the same thing would always happen.

Being around Taehyung while he was in human form had become increasingly difficult. As much as he wanted to be near him, the anxiety was so overwhelming he felt aggressive and he often became bossy, which Taehyung seemed to hate. Because he was able to physically get close when he was in wolf form, he began to crave it all the time. And when he was human, the urge to touch, but the inability to touch drove him crazy. He would buzz around the cabin and almost completely unable to sit down. When he did sit down, he would start spouting facts at Taehyung which were usually met with a semi-dismissive okay thanks I’ll include that or yeah you already told me that.

Sometimes he began to feel so compelled to pull Taehyung into his arms that he would have to leave in order to be certain that he wouldn’t act on it.

And then there was what Dalmin had said. He came for you. Jungkook heard it echo in his head. He had gone back to the waterfall repeatedly. Sat and soaked in the light and calm the moon provided. But she did not repeat herself and she did not offer more explanation. 

There usually wasn’t much rain in November and December on the mountain, but this year for some reason had been different. Taehyung seemed to love the rain. He even said as much. He said that he could write more when it rained - that it was easier to be creative and focus.

Jungkook on the other hand didn’t love the rain.

Of course it was needed he knew that, but this rain kept Taehyung holed up in the cabin writing which meant that he didn’t want to walk as much through the woods learning about the mountain. Well, at least not with Jungkook.

When Jungkook went to the cabin as a wolf, Taehyung always seemed happy to see him. In fact, Taehyung had urged him to come up into the porch at some point. Even putting a blanket down by his feet where the wolf could curl up and sleep while he sat on the chair, feet tucked up beneath his legs wrapped in a large quilt and pecking away on his laptop.

If Taehyung was inside writing, Jungkook would wait curled up on the porch blanket. Ears perking up when he heard Taehyung grab his coat and then come out onto the porch to stretch. If it wasn’t raining, without a word Jungkook knew that Taehyung was inviting him to take a walk and enjoy the bright blue skies and the crisp air.

Sometimes Taehyung talked. Sometimes he didn’t.

But one thing was impossible not to notice, he talked a lot more to the wolf than he ever did to Jungkook.

Jungkook had even offered to listen if Taehyung wanted to read any parts of the article to him. But the response was a mumbled thanks, but I’ve got it. Yet, many times on the porch, he would read what he’d written aloud to the wolf laying at his feet.

The outsider was no longer an outsider. For Jungkook, Taehyung had become a permanent part of the mountain. And when he thought about the day that the article was finished and submitted, followed by the time that Taehyung would leave, both he and his wolf felt an indescribable sadness.

Walking up to the cabin on the morning of Dongji, the winter solstice, he felt out of sorts. Anxious. But not in a worried way. It was the type of restlessness where he knew he wanted something - he just didn’t know exactly what is was. And the not knowing meant that it couldn’t be fulfilled. Which meant he knew he would have to go through his day with that longing rolling around inside him.

He stared at the bright blue sky above and took a deep breath filling his lungs with the winter air, trying to still his thoughts and just be in the moment. He loved all the seasons on the mountain, and winter had its own unique charm.  The night sky seemed clearer in winter and the moon would shine like a warm, glowing orb.

That would be later this week, though when the moon was full. Today it was just a lacey looking crescent hanging in the eastern sky. He thought about how the moon was almost always out for a least a few hours of the day depending on when it rose and set, but most people didn’t know they. They don’t expect to see it and so they miss it. Sometimes he didn’t see it right away and would have to search for it.  But it was obvious today and he was glad he hadn’t missed it. He lifted his eyes to meet her and nodded in reverence.

He never had spent much time as a wolf during the winter. But Taehyung had turned everything upside down.  He seemed to trust him more, like him better in his wolf form. Naturally that made Jungkook want to stay in wolf form.

Truthfully, in his whole life he had never spent as much time as a wolf as he had since Taehyung arrived.

The way Jungkook felt about winter was odd, because for most wolves, winter was an active time. The urge to hunt and mate increased. But for Jungkook, winter had always been one of those seasons where he wanted to pull into himself. The desire to run through the woods was replaced with the urge to protect himself. To stay close to home. To stay safe. He tried, but could never figure out what he was trying to stay safe from. Only that winter was the one season that he felt like his behavior was in opposition to his instincts. When it passed, and spring returned, he felt the promise of renewal deep in his bones.

Now with the first day of winter, he was a little worried about what it would hold. He really wanted to be in his cabin. But Taehyung would be working through the article, and Jungkook didn’t want to displace him. And he wasn’t sure he could stay with him in the cabin. Or if that was even a possibility. It almost seemed ridiculous to even consider it.

And it wasn’t that he wanted Taehyung to leave. That was a very unwelcome reality. No part of him, even the anxiously intense human side of him, wanted Taehyung to leave anytime soon, if ever. But he longed to be in the safety of his cabin.

And as much as he didn’t understand it, he longed to be wherever Taehyung was.

He stood on the porch for a moment before knocking. Taehyung had wanted to make patjuk, red bean porridge, as it was a traditional dish for the winter solstice. When he had told Jin that he wanted to contribute to the dinner, he was grateful and appreciative of the gesture. So much so that this morning Jin had insisted that Jungkook go up to the cabin to see if Taehyung needed any help. And of course, Jungkook wasn’t unhappy about that.

He knocked with his nervous knuckles.

No answer.

He knocked a little louder.

Surely Taehyung wasn’t still asleep.  And he would have seen him if he had come down to the village.

As his pulse quickened, his heartbeat grew louder in his ears. A scant but chilly breeze blew across the sweat on the back of neck and made him shiver.

Looking nervously around the tree line, his fear was unfamiliar to him especially near his cabin. He didn’t even know what he was looking for.

His rational mind could hardly function. The worry that gripped him trumped every thought. Turning back, he tried the doorknob, only to find it locked.

Within seconds the panic had built to the point he considered breaking the door down.

His fist pounded against the wood visibly shaking the glass in the windows.

Suddenly the door opened.

“Why in the world are you banging so loud?”

Taehyung stood in the doorway holding the nob with one hand and the other on his hip. He was barely dressed. And Jungkook was frozen at the display of skin. Wearing only boxers and an unbuttoned dress shirt that put his chest on full display. A few pieces of something stuck his to his skin, and another of whatever it was on his cheek.

The relief of seeing him safe was brief and quickly replaced by curiosity and some simmering irritation. He reached up to his cheek, and pulled off what looked to be a bean.

“What is this? Why are there wet beans sticking to you?”

Taehyung also seemed visibly irritated.

“I soaked the beans overnight like I was supposed to,” he turned and pointed to the mess all over the kitchen counter and floor, “but something went wrong and when I woke up there were beans everywhere.”

Jungkook walked past him toward the kitchen and mumbled, “Did you roll around in them or something?”

“No,” Taehyung remarked defensively. “I just was trying to clean them up, but they are sort of sticky and look they’re all over the place.”

“I see.” Jungkook looked around the kitchen taking in the mess and then noticing the two bowls on the counter who were filled to the brim with swelled beans. “Why didn’t you use the big bowl like I told you? And how many beans did you try to soak? This was way more than you'd ever need for porridge.”

Taehyung shrugged and shook his head. “I decided to use two of the medium size bowls so I was sure to have enough. And I filled them full and then put the water in. I don’t know what happened?”

Jungkook’s irritability began to grow even more noticeable. “Don’t you remember me saying that you have to leave room for them to swell? They swell up and you need to leave room at the top of the bowl. And you should have used the big bowl.”

Taehyung’s whole demeanor was defensive. “It’s not like this is a tragedy, Jungkook.” His mouth fell open. “It’s just beans on the floor. I was picking them up until you started beating on the door. I would’ve had them all picked up if you hadn’t interrupted me.”

Jungkook looked around at the mess again and crouched to start picking up beans off the floor. “Fine. Let’s just get them cleaned up now. So we can get the patjuk made for tonight.”

Taehyung bent down as well and begin to pick up the beans one at a putting them in his hand until his palm was covered. Jungkook watched him as he stood up, walked to the trashcan, and emptied them from his palm by turning it over the bag.

Jungkook stood with the beans he had scooped into his palm. “No wonder it’s taking you so long, just bring the trashcan over here and scoop up as many as you can at a time.”

He stood up to throw them away, but as he approached the trash, Taehyung turned and blocked him.

Jungkook wasn’t prepared to come face to face. He wasn’t paying attention and he stopped just short of running into him.

“The whole ‘you know everything and I know nothing’ thing is starting to get on my nerves.”

“I never said you don’t know anything,” Jungkook said defensively. Taehyung wasn’t moving and he wasn’t looking away.

“You do. Maybe not those words, but you do.” Taehyung’s jaw jutted out. “I’m not an idiot you know. I don’t know as much as you do about certain things, but I have learned a lot about the mountain and living here.”

“I…I just think – “

“You just think it’s okay to bully me because you think this is your mountain.”

It is my mountain. And it drives me crazy when you do the opposite of what I tell you do to.

At Taehyung’s reaction he knew that even though the words hadn’t been said aloud, he had heard them all the same. Or maybe he was just perceptive. He didn’t want to entertain the unsettling thought that he and Taehyung shared that same ability.

Taehyung put his hands on his hips which caused the sides of his shirt to be pinned back, showing even more of his bare chest. “What you tell me to do?”

That made it clear. He had definitely heard the thought directed at him.

It suddenly felt too warm in the kitchen. Jungkook narrowed his eyes at Taehyung and took a step forward. Their chests just an inch or so away from each other.

His hand shot around the slender waist. He turned his hand over heavily, dumping the beans loudly into the trash, but never looking away.

He waited. Certain that if he focused enough, he could hear what Taehyung was thinking. Taehyung had spoken to him like that once before so it wasn’t impossible.

But it was silent except for the pounding in Jungkook’s ears. The scent coming from Taehyung was making him dizzy. It was the usual leathery, cherry-almond smell, but so much more intense than usual. And between that and Taehyung’s unwavering glare, there was no doubt that he was angry and not planning to back down.

Jungkook didn’t want to back down either. And he there was no way he was apologizing or defending himself. But he didn’t want to engage in an argument. And yet he felt every muscle tense in his body.

What he wanted to do was grab Taehyung and wrestle him to the ground.

He shook his head to clear what he thought was a barbaric thought. He never had thoughts like that. Taking a step back he looked toward the counter again, not to look at anything, just to hopefully get some fresher air that wasn’t saturated with the overpowering scent.

“Jin asked me to come up and help you.” He cleared his throat. “But if you’ve got it under control I’ll go back to the tavern.”

The aggressiveness in Taehyung’s stance softened. “Look at this mess.” He threw his arms out and around motioning to the pot on the stove and the beans on the counter and floor. “I think it’s clear I don’t have it under control.”

Jungkook went to the stove and peered into the pot anxious to see if stepping away from Taehyung would slow his heart palpitating and allow him to calm himself. It wasn’t that successful. He was hyper aware of Taehyung who had moved the trashcan to the mess and was scooping the spilled beans into it. “There are still more than enough beans in the pot to make the porridge.” Jungkook offered reassuringly without looking at him directly.

“I guess that’s good.” Taehyung stood and started to clean the beans off the kitchen counter. “If you want to start boiling those, I’ll finish cleaning this up.”

Jungkook nodded in agreement and lit the burner.

When Taehyung had cleaned up the mess, Jungkook turned the spoon and pot back over to him and made an excuse about wanting to go check on something outside. He hadn’t been specific, but it didn’t seem to matter to Taehyung, who he could sense was no longer angry, but still much less talkative than usual.

He stood on the porch relieved to be in the open air, but confused at what had happened. On one hand, it really pissed him off that Taehyung had challenged him. But on the other hand, it aroused something in him that he wasn’t familiar with and he didn’t have a name for it.

He forced both hands in his pocket and looked down at his feet. When he heard a voice in his head.

Only woman cook. You don’t want to be a woman, do you?

It hit him just like most of these episodes did. Were they memories? He didn’t know. He closed his eyes and tried to conjure up a visual of when the words were said. He couldn’t. But the way he felt when he heard them made him think that if this was a genuine memory, those words had been directed at him.

Which didn’t make any sense. Jin had taught him to cook. He had always helped in the kitchen.

It was a voice from his past. One from before his parents’ death. 

This particular voice was angry.

Then he realized it was the same voice he heard on one of Taehyung’s first days with him in the forest. When he envisioned Taehyung being slapped. And a voice, this same voice, called him an aberration.

For one moment, Jungkook had feared it was his own disdain for Taehyung that was bubbling up, but the image had been so vivid. And that was one of the first times he suspected that memories were coming to him that never had before.

These had to be memories. There was no other explanation.

Even in the beginning, he never hated Taehyung that much. Hate would be the wrong word anyway. Taehyung had been exasperating. Still was in almost every way possible.

He had pushed Jungkook’s button not less than ten minutes ago.

And it was almost certain that he was going to push them again when Jungkook went back into the house.

Yet the pull to walk back into the cabin was greater than anything he felt he could resist.

He opened the front door and stepped back inside. Taehyung, still wearing nothing but his boxers and the unbuttoned dress shirt now with the sleeves rolled up, was standing at the kitchen counter with the pot of boiled beans in front of him.

He must have heard Jungkook come in. Without looking up he called out.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I think I boiled them enough, they’re soft, but they just aren’t mashing like they should.”

Jungkook couldn’t tell what he was using to mash the beans, but it was obvious that is wasn’t working. His forearms were tense and the veins bulging as he held the bowl with one hand firmly and jabbed into the bowl.

“What are you using?”

He held up a regular dinner fork. “This? Won’t this work?”

Jungkook shook his head to indicate no. He walked to Taehyung and went to open the drawer right in front of him. Taehyung didn’t move and Jungkook blushed when he realized that his hand was inches away from his body.

“If you scoot over a little, I have something else.”

Taehyung acted like he made the attempt to step back, but he didn’t move an inch. Jungkook grabbed the handle and pulled the drawer out just enough to retrieve a wooden spoon but in the process the back of his hand grazed Taehyung’s groin.

“Here” he held out the wooden spoon to Taehyung who went back to using the fork and ignored the spoon making it clear he wasn’t going to move.  Jungkook reached over his head to the shelf above and pull down a straining bowl. He held it out to Taehyung as well.  “You need to pour the beans into this strainer and then put it over the bowl. You want to smash the beans with this wooden spoon so they go through the holes but the skins stay in the strainer.”

Taehyung stopped his struggle with the fork and laid it on the other side of the pot. He looked at the wooden spoon and bowl in Jungkook’s extended hands, but didn’t take it right away. He slowly turned his head and raised his eyes to meet Jungkook’s.

He had looked at Jungkook plenty of times in the months he had been on the mountain. There had even been some times where their eyes locked and the intensity was such that Jungkook couldn’t look away. But this was something altogether different.

Jungkook swallowed hard as Taehyung took both from his hands without averting his stare.

“I should have mentioned it before.” He wanted to pull the words back in as soon as they came out. But he couldn’t. He followed it up instead with, “Really though you should have just asked me what to use when you saw the fork wasn’t working.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes as he shook his head and made a huff of disbelieve. “For a minute there I thought you were going to be nice. But I guess if you’re going to be a moody dick today it’s a good thing it’s the shortest day of the year.”

Jungkook wanted to tell him that he wanted to be nice. But he wasn’t always sure how to do that. And he wanted to tell him that sometimes he wanted… but he didn’t know how to finish that sentence. He didn’t know if he should.

Taehyung poured the beans into the strainer and set it inside the bowl, but still wasn’t having much success with the wooden spoon.  He was using it entirely wrong by holding it vertically and stabbing into the beans occasionally trying to stir, which basically just moved the beans around. Jungkook didn’t want to criticize again. He wanted Taehyung to stop thinking he was bossy and moody. Even though he knew that he often was. Jungkook started to reach out to grab the spoon from his hands to show him how to hold it properly. But he withdrew before his hand made contact when something else caught his eye.

The winter light from the window shone in on Taehyung’s face and danced across his cheek as he leaned forward over the bowl.

From Jungkook’s vantage point just a foot away, it looked as though his honey-colored skin was glowing. His hair, which had gotten longer, was hanging over his eye and bouncing against his skin with each movement.

Without thinking, Jungkook reached out to the errant clump of hair and pulled it back trying to tuck it behind his ear.

Taehyung’s whole body froze and he looked cautiously to the left at Jungkook, standing by his side, who was so shocked by his own actions, he couldn’t even formulate any random words, let alone a believable excuse.

So he didn’t even try.

Taehyung’s brow furrowed and he looked back into the bowl. “Well, I don’t see how this is making that much of a difference. I’d do quicker to just put them on the floor and stomp them with my feet,” Taehyung grumbled.

Taehyung’s snark halted the tender moment. And the abrupt shift in mood caused a shift in Jungkook. And every cell of his body told him to take control of the situation.

He closed the space between them and planted himself directly behind Taehyung. Close enough that he was pressed up against his back. His nose practically touching the back of Taehyung’s head.

He paused and let himself take in the scent. He had somewhat become used to it in the past few months and it wasn’t as jarring as it had been in the beginning. But because of that he had become aware of the nuances that existed in it. There were times it was the heavier leathered woody smell with just a hint of the sweetness of cherries. However, there had been an increasing number of occasions much like this where the sweet, intensely strong scent of amaretto came to the top and assaulted not just his sense of smell, but all his senses. It was nothing short of intoxicating.

With his chest so close to his back, he felt Taehyung take a deep inhale, but neither moved away.

Jungkook moved his head slightly to the right so that he could look over Taehyung’s shoulder as he reached for the wooden spoon that hung loosely in his hand. But as his hand neared, Taehyung’s grip on it tightened.

Jungkook felt possessed. He had no thoughts as he wrapped his hand around Taehyung’s and shifted it around the spoon so they were both holding it properly. He could have released his hand at that point and just explained how to use it but he didn’t.

He wrapped his other arm around Taehyung’s left side, grabbed the bowls and titled them up slightly. His right hand tightened around Taehyung’s as he began to use the flat part of the wooden spoon to firmly smash the beans into the strainer.

He could feel him breathing back against his chest. Each breath getting more rapid. Jungkook pressed against him closer from behind aware of every point of contact between their bodies. His hand on Taehyung’s hand. His chest against Taehyung’s back. Even the toes of his shoes were touching Taehyung’s heels.

But there was one place, one noticeable area that seemed miles apart. Until he felt the shift in Taehyung’s weight as he pressed his ass backwards, deliberate and heavy into Jungkook’s groin. It wasn’t aggressive, but it was intentional.

The realization of how they were touching snapped him back into awareness and he released Taehyung’s right hand, and put a few inches between them without letting go of the edge of the bowl in his left hand.

“Just do it like that,” he said noticing that he was still close enough that as he said the words his breath moved a few strands of Taehyung’s hair. He continued to watch as Taehyung made a few more presses with the spoon, none of them as successful as they should have been.

He curled around Taehyung again. His whole body pressed against him as he shot his right hand forward grabbing his hand that held the spoon. Tightening. Guiding the spoon back to the bowl and pressing. “You aren’t doing it hard enough. You have to press hard.” He used probably a little more force necessary on the next press to illustrate his point. “Like this.”

The intensity of each squash with the spoon made both with bodies move together in time pushing against each other.

When Taehyung’s head began to turn back toward him, for a moment he anticipated angry words and even braced himself to be shrugged off. He steadied himself and stared their joined hands on the spoon.

But neither happened. He glared at the side of Jungkook’s face as he let him continue to control their hands on the spoon.

It suddenly all felt too hot. He was too close. His body burning. He thought he might burst into flames if he didn’t step back and away.

He did it so abruptly that it must have surprised Taehyung too as he dropped the spoon when Jungkook removed his hand and took a few steps back.

“I’ll wait outside. There are few larger logs I still wanted to split.” He turned to avoid meeting Taehyung’s eyes. His final sentence echoed back into the cabin as he walked as quick as he could through the front door and out into the relief of the cool early winter air. “Just come get me when you’re dressed and the porridge is ready.”

Jungkook tried to focus on the logs he was splitting. Taehyung had been right when he said that there was more than enough. But he was always prone to overpreparing especially in regards to winter. And in particular with this winter coming and Taehyung being alone in his cabin, his need to overprepare went into overdrive.

The physical exertion of chopping wood in the chilly air helped him to cool down. And by the time that Taehyung appeared on the front porch with the pot of porridge, he had settled himself to the point that he was even able to greet him amiably.

“It smells really good.” He complimented as he approached the bottom of the steps. “Even better than Jin’s usually does.”

The compliment landed well as evidenced by Taehyung’s smile as he descended the steps. “We probably should keep that a secret between us.”

It was obvious he was proud of himself. And Jungkook couldn’t help but be overrun with a swelling of pride for him. And in truth also a little bit of pride of him.

“You ready? You want me to carry that?”

“No.” Taehyung looked at him like he had just suggested something ridiculous. “I’ve got it.”

Jungkook felt a little rebuffed by the decline, but he brushed it off. Or rather he meant to brush it off. Having come up the hill earlier he knew it was slick and even though he didn’t expect his advise would be received well, he still couldn’t stop himself from expressing his concern.

“You have to be really careful as you go down the hill, it’s not icy, but the leaves on the ground have been wet and now that they’re cold, there can be as slick if not more so that a sheet of ice.”

Taehyung nodded dismissively and the headed down the hill toward the tavern with Jungkook having to scramble to catch up.

Jungkook’s nerves were on edge. In addition to what had happened in the cabin, now he was worried that Taehyung was going to slip and fall.

“You might want to take short, small steps and slow down a little.” Jungkook called out again. “The waxy coating on the leaves is as slick as ice especially on a slope like this when they get wet.”

“Damn, Mr. Science Guy!” Taehyung huffed sarcastically. “I know how to walk.”

Jungkook gritted his teeth and tried to just let it go, but with every step Taehyung’s feet were going quicker and he looked like he was losing stability.

Thoughts were rapid firing that he didn’t feel like he could control

His first urge was to give him a push and prove his point that he was going to fall.

No, he wanted to catch him.

No, he wanted to push him.

No catch him.

He didn’t want to watch but he couldn’t look away.

Until they neared the bottom of the hill and he heard the tavern door slam, looking up to see Jin emerge with a concerned frown on his face.

It all happened at once. The moment he took his eyes from their close watch on Taehyung’s feet, Jin’s face revealed that Jungkook’s fear had come to reality.

Taehyung slipped and fell flat on his ass.

Jungkook had reached out for him, but was too late.

Somehow, he managed to fall on his ass, but not drop the pot in the process. He sat face stunned, arms stretched out in front of him, still holding the pot.

Jungkook scurried, almost slipping in the process, to get to him and take the pot from his hands. He grabbed it, and taking short, careful steps got to the flat ground and walked carefully to Jin.

“Here,” he handed him the pot, “I’m going to go make sure he’s alright.”

Having said it louder than he probably should have, Taehyung who had already started to stand overheard. And he did not look pleased at the sight of Jungkook heading back towards him with an arm outstretched.

“I’m not a child, I can get up on my own,” he grumbled as he tried to balance.

“Says the guy who just fell on his ass,” Jungkook was trying to make light of it, but it wasn’t coming out quite like that.  He got close enough to Taehyung to reach out his hand and offer assistance. But he just shook his head in refusal as he gained his balance and stood upright.

Jungkook retracted his hand and started to step back feeling the uncontrollable need to be critical because Taehyung wouldn’t take his help.  “Maybe next time you…you’ll…u’ll…”

Smack.

His own ass hit the ground when he slipped on an extra wet patch of leaves behind him.

Taehyung’s laughter was immediate and loud. “See…” It came out as a taunt whether he intended it to or not. But his haughtiness was short lived as he went to take a step and his foot slipped as well.

They sat just a few yards away from each other. Staring each other down as though each was waiting on the other to say something.

Taehyung’s cheeks were bright red from the cold. Maybe from the embarrassment too. And all Jungkook could think of touching that warmth. Putting his hands on the smooth red skin, feeling the exhale of his hot breath and pressing his…

Jin called up from the bottom of the hill. “You two going to just sit there all day?”

No. He didn’t want to touch or press anything of his against anything of Taehyung’s. He just needed to pull himself together. He braced against the ground and stood up.

Taehyung got his footing and stood up as well. They didn’t speak. They didn’t look at each other as they walked down the rest of the hill to the tavern.

Taehyung wordlessly took the pot from Jin and went inside. Jungkook would have followed, but Jin caught his arm.

“What’s going on this morning. The tension in the air is so thick I’m choking on it.”

“I don’t know! But I feel crazy today.” Jungkook shifted his weight and looked back up the hill, then behind to the tavern door, until finally resting on Jin’s face. “I don’t know what to do with myself. Taehyung is making me crazy.”

“Taehyung? So he isn’t ‘the outsider’ anymore?”

Jungkook’s whole body puffed up like he might explode. “I haven’t called him that for weeks.”

Jin stroked Jungkook’s bicep. “First of all, slow down and take a deep breath. Are you sleeping any better than you were?”

“No.” Jungkook shook his head. “The dreams are worse and so vivid.”

“Vivid as in how?”

“Like I keep dreaming of being trapped, but I don’t just dream it, I feel it. And then I keep having dreams of fire. But I’m not just watching a fire. It’s like a fire is burning me. I even check my body in the morning because I’m positive that I’ve been burned.”

“Are you still howling until he is asleep,” He nodded toward the tavern, “before you go to bed yourself?”

Jungkook got the first syllable of the lie started, “N…” and then realized it was no use. He nodded yes. “Yeah. I am.”

“I knew that anyway, because you always come home so late. You think I’m asleep, but I’m not. Not until everyone is settled in for the night. I hear when you come in.”

“I wish I could tell you that I’m settled when I come in for the night, but I never am.”

“I’m going to set something on your bed. You take it tonight, okay?”

“Okay.”

“It’ll help you rest.” Jungkook thought the conversation was over and he was anxious to get back in, but Jin wasn’t moving and he hadn’t let go of his arm.

“One more thing, Jungkook.” He looked at him in the way Jin had always looked at him when he wasn’t joking and wanted to be sure he was being taken seriously. “I want you to consider something. This idea you have that you and your wolf are separate. Maybe some of this restlessness is because of Taehyung, but maybe also because of that. If you’re going to have any peace in your life, you’re probably only going to find it if you let those two pieces merge as they are supposed to.”

Jungkook sighed and nodded. He knew what Jin meant. They had talked about it so many times in the past. Jungkook never felt like he truly knew who he was. It was like he had always tried to be one and ignore the other like it was an intruder. He didn’t feel like the other guys. He never felt fully wolf and fully human. He was a partial of both, and he never felt complete within himself.

“I’m just saying, maybe this is nature’s way of forcing you to face this. Maybe you stop fighting yourself and you and Taehyung might stop fighting.”

“Okay I will. For myself. But the fighting with Taehyung doesn’t matter. He isn’t going to be here long anyway.” Jungkook hoped Jin didn’t pick up on the sadness and disappointment in his voice.

Jin, still holding onto his arm, turned him toward the door as they walked toward it. “Don’t worry. He’ll be here as long as he needs to be.”

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Taehyung had woken up on what his mother had always called the “wrong side of the bed.” He had slept well, lulled to into slumber by the lullaby howl of the wolf that had become a permanent part of his nights. But when he woke the impression left by his dreams was disturbing. He couldn’t remember the exact details. He only knew that he felt hungry. Starved even. Not his stomach, but his soul.

A longing he couldn’t pinpoint, but he feared would stay with him the rest of the day. And it most certainly did.

Entering the kitchen and seeing the beans all over the counter with some even having dripped to the floor, he was even more frustrated with the day that had barely just begun. In the middle of cleaning up, Jungkook had arrived. And even though he had been anxious to see him, Jungkook’s frantic pounding and initial snippiness had set him off.

He was always anxious to see him even though he couldn’t figure out how Jungkook really felt about him. And all his attempts to be friends somehow how failed. Yet there was something he couldn’t turn away from. There was an answer, he knew it. He just wasn’t sure of the question yet.  And Jungkook didn’t seem to want to work together to find out.

The weird energy between them in the kitchen just made him more confused and frustrated in a very specific way. At one point, he wondered if Jungkook was going to try to kiss him. And he later he wondered why he didn’t. And then he chided himself for thinking a thought like that at all.

Of course, falling on the hill…twice… was just more proof for him that staying in bed might have been a better choice for the day.

And again, his frustration with his lack of balance and coordination was nothing compared the way he felt when his eyes met with Jungkook’s as they both sat on their fallen asses on the hill. He knew he was laughing at him. And it took all his restraint to not tumble over the top of him, wrestle him onto his back and press himself against him, pinning him down and doing whatever he wanted with that smart mouth and cocky grin.

Jungkook was the type of guy he had always been attracted to, the type of guy who thought he was something big until Taehyung reduced him to a puddle of compliancy with a simmering look. And yet there was something so unique about Jungkook. Unlike any other man he had met. He wasn’t certain who would end up being the compliant one.

Between the bean mishap and the variety of frustration the day had already been, by the time Taehyung walked into the tavern he was more than ready for the whiskey Jimin had waiting for him. He traded the pot of red bean porridge for it and took a long drink.

“Bad day?” Yoongi asked.

“Why? Is my face that obvious?”

“No, we were just watching out the window at you and Jungkook both sliding down the hill on your asses.” He popped something into his mouth from one of the many plates and bowls full of food that laid out on the table. “Figured that couldn’t have been a good day.”

Even though it was just a little chuckle, Taehyung laughed for the first time that day and relieved a little of the tension that he woke with. The image of Jungkook falling flat on his ass was amusing. Even if, in the process, he had fallen too.

“Are you guys not getting along?” Jimin asked cautiously.

“It isn’t that we aren’t get along. Sometimes we get along fine and then other times it’s like he can’t stand me. I think it bothers him more than anyone thought it would that I’m living in his cabin.”

Yoongi and Jimin exchanged a noticeable look.

“I don’t think he minds that you’re staying in the cabin, but…” Jimin began and then looked at Yoongi as though he needed help with the words.

“Winter is approaching,” Yoongi explained. “We don’t see much of Jungkook during the winter. He usually holes up in his cabin. I would guess he is getting that urge. And for the first time he can’t. Maybe it’s making him a little moodier.”

It hit Taehyung suddenly and it made sense. “Of course, and I had planned to be done with the article before winter which meant he could have had his cabin back by now. I should have just hurried with the piece and been done and back home to the city by now.”

“No. No, Taehyung. He told you that you should stay through the winter. And we all agreed. Jungkook doesn’t always do well with change. He’s used to being in his cabin during winter, but believe me, he’ll be alright.” Jimin sounded like he was trying to reassure himself just as much as Taehyung.

“I should have just hurried and finished.” Taehyung felt somewhat guilty that he had welcomed the idea of spending more time here. He wasn’t exactly eager to head back to his apartment after he finished story.

Yoongi spoke up a little louder than he usually did. “Not at all. You’re taking your time and doing it right because it’s important. Jungkook knows that. He wouldn’t have wanted you to hurry just so he could go back to his cabin.”

“Well, at any rate, I’m getting close to being done. So I’ll be out of his way as soon as I can.”

“Do you need help?” Jimin asked.

“Sort of. I’d like to get another pair of eyes on what I have. I just feel like it’s missing something. I’m persuasive, but it’s missing a solid voice. I’m an outsider speaking as an observer. I don’t know. I just think it needs to be better.”

“Needs heart,” Yoongi said flatly.

“Yeah maybe. Would you want to take a look and – “

“Nope. I’m no good with that. But I know who would be.”

At that precise moment the tavern door swung open and Jin and Jungkook entered. Taehyung watched as Yoongi’s eyes caught his and then deliberately landed on Jungkook.

“Who would be what?” Jin asked.

Taehyung didn’t consider Jungkook a reasonable option. He was the person who could give the article what it needed, but he would also give Taehyung a ton of shit and probably criticize the whole thing and try to rewrite it himself.

“Oh, I was just asking Yoongi about this weird dizziness I’ve been having. And he said he wasn’t good with that stuff but knew who would be.”

Jin stopped and raised one eyebrow as Jungkook continued toward the kitchen glancing only briefly at Taehyung and then hurrying his steps.

“You’ve been up here for months. I’ve cured a cold and a hangover for you. And I’ve offered you something when you can’t sleep.” He shook his head. “And yet you don’t think of me first when you have an ailment. I’m hurt, Taehyung.”

Jin faking his hurt feelings caused the other three to smile. 

“Ah, help him out anyway, Jin?” Jimin put his arm around Taehyung.

“I guess I have to since we are depending on him to save our mountain village.” He gave a quick sigh of mock resignation and headed toward the kitchen. “Don’t leave here tonight without seeing me. I have something that will help your dizziness.”

Taehyung called out his agreement and then turned back to Yoongi.

“Sorry I’m really hesitant to ask Jungkook for that kind of help. Any kind of help.” He immediately thought about Jungkook’s help this morning with the red bean porridge. He hadn’t had time to make sense of that yet or the myriad of emotions and physical sensations it made him feel.

“You know he would help,” Yoongi countered. “And he is the person who can give your writing the very heart that you’re looking for.”

“I know.” Taehyung knew he was right. But humbling himself to ask Jungkook was a place he wasn’t sure he want to go. “. He’ll be critical and point out everything I said wrong.”

Yoongi smirked. “You’re saying he will help you make it better then?”

He knew Yoongi was right.

“Well, I’m just not sure I’m eager to get his smugness all over me when I ask him for help.”

“What if you made a deal. And you both got something out of it. Then neither of you is really doing a favor for the other?”

“I’m not sure I follow?”

“You need his help with the article and he would really like to be in his cabin this winter. Seems like you each would get what you needed if you and he just shared the cabin for the next few months.”

Living in the same cabin sounded like a really terrible idea. And at the same time a really good idea.

“Oh, so you mean I would tell him that if he helps me with the article, I’ll let him live in his cabin with me through the winter?”

Jimin cringed. “Maybe don’t say it quite like that. You could instead just ask him to help you with the article and explain that it makes more sense for him to live in the cabin so you can work on it together.”

This time, it was Taehyung’s turn to cringe. “You’re saying I basically just have to let him think he is the one doing me a favor and ignore the fact that I’m doing him one?”

“Believe me,” Yoongi patted his shoulder, “Jungkook will realize you’re doing him a favor. He’s going to be a moody asshole to everyone if he doesn’t spend the winter in his cabin. You could also look at it as though you’d be doing all of us a favor.”

“I’ll think about it. But I bet he won’t even be willing to help me with the article so it won’t matter.”

Yoongi withdrew his hand and started to walk toward the kitchen. “He will. Especially if he thinks you need him to.”

“Great” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “I have to play to the already inflated ego of Jeon Jungkook.”

Yoongi laughed as he walked away adding one last comment. “Don’t worry. If he gets his smugness on you then you can just wash it off in the plunge pool.”

Taehyung turned to Jimin. “The what?”

“The plunge pool. You know? At the base of the waterfall.”

“Oh that, yes.  It’s beautiful there.”

“I figured Jungkook would have taken you there first.”

“No, I didn’t go with Jungkook.”

Jimin looked confused.

“I went by myself.” Taehyung corrected. “Well not really by myself. The black wolf was with me.”

Jimin’s eyes went wide. “Oh? The black – “

“Sorry to interrupt,” Jungkook approached, “but Jin says everything is ready and you guys should come to the table.”

“Okay thanks.” He turned to Jimin who was now standing right next to Jungkook with his hand wrapped around his wrist. “You coming?”

“Not yet. You go on and tell Jin that Jungkook and I will be there in just a minute.”

Taehyung left them and went to see if he could help Jin finishing up in the kitchen.

“You guys really take eating on holidays seriously, huh?” Taehyung motioned toward the array of foods all around the table, not even including the ones that still sat on the bar. 

“Jin always outdoes himself.” Hoseok remarked as Jin filled his bowl with red porridge.

Jin smiled proudly as he put soup in his own bowl and sat down. They had pulled together two of the square tables in the tavern to make a table for seven. Jin and Yoongi sat the opposite short sides of the table with Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok down one long side. And Jungkook and Namjoon on the other. He wasn’t sitting directly across from Jungkook, but close enough that he couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting to him.

The table was very simply decorated with a centerpiece of winter greenery from the forest and Taehyung couldn’t help but notice the random red beans scattered all around.

“My mom used to do that,” he said aloud. “She used to scatter some red beans around our apartment on Dongji. To ward off the evil spirits.”

“It’s a very old custom,” Hoseok said as he lifted the spoon of porridge to his lips.

Is that what you were trying to do this morning. Spread beans around my cabin?

He didn’t even need to look up to know it was Jungkook. He didn’t need to look up anyway. He knew no one else had heard it. He was formulating an equally smart as remark when suddenly Hoseok, sitting next to him, dropped his spoon on the table and covered his mouth. Eyes wide.

“What in the world did you do to this soup, Jin? It’s incredible! It’s the best you’ve made it!”

Eagerly Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon all took their first bite of porridge. Each made their own noise of approval and delight.

“This is amazing.” Namjoon looked at Taehyung.

“We haven’t had it like this in years.” Yoongi said almost sadly. "Not since..."

Jimin interrupted and broke the truth to Hoseok as everyone else already knew. “Jin didn’t make it. It was Taehyung.”

Hoseok looked to his right in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Taehyung made this? Jin, have you tried it?” He turned to Jin at the end of the table eagerly.

Jin calmly picked up his spoon, scooped up some porridge and put it to his mouth. He closed his eyes as he swallowed. When he opened them again, they were glossy.

“I don’t know what to say, Taehyung. This is one of the best patjuks I have ever had.”

Taehyung felt suddenly embarrassed by all the praise. Something that usually didn’t faze him.

“Thank you, but honestly, it isn’t even my recipe. It’s my mother’s. She made this every year. This was her favorite holiday.” His voice turned sad at the memory of being a teen wrapped up in his own world and too busy to spend time with his mother. “I hate that I never even helped her make it once. But when she died, I found the recipe written down in a box with some others and I kept it. I had no idea what I was doing this morning when I was making it.”

Jungkook who had been quietly eating his soup even before anyone else had taken a bite, looked up. “It is really good, Taehyung.”

“I’m finding it hard to believe this was your first time making it.” Jin side eyed him. “I think we have a ringer here guys. He’s trying to make us think he didn’t know what he was doing.”

“I didn’t,” Tae insisted. He looked across to Jungkook who had returned to eating, Head down. “You can ask Jungkook. I made a mess. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Jungkook stopped mid bite. His spoon hovered in the air above his bowl as he stared dumbfoundedly at Taehyung.

“Jungkook helped me make it. I can’t in good conscience take all the credit.”

“Sounds like you two make a pretty good team when it comes to getting things done, huh?” Yoongi said to his bowl of porridge without ever looking up.

Taehyung immediately knew the comment was for him.

He decided there was no time like the present. Jungkook had complimented him which was nice. And it might be easier with everyone else around. If Jungkook was going to give a smart-ass response it might be a little tempered with the presence of Jin and Yoongi there.

“Speaking of,” he started. “I’m getting very close to finishing the first draft of the article. It’s full of a lot of research and facts and of course the human impact side of things, but I’d like to push it to something even more personal to increase its appeal to the public. And I was thinking that you might be willing to take a look at it and help me add that element.”

His eyes met Jungkook’s who hadn’t resumed eating his soup from a moment ago. He had at least lowered his spoon back to the bowl, but his look was still dumbfounded.

“Me?” He said incredulously.

“Yes.” Taehyung tried to be cool and dismissive. “Only if you’ve got the time. I could finish it on my own. But it makes sense to have an insider voice from the mountain.”

Yoongi continued eating and talking to his bowl. “I hear this winter is set to be brutal with a lot of snow. Makes it more difficult to get from the cabin down to the tavern. Would there be room, Taehyung? For Jungkook to spend the winter up there with you?”

“Yeah, I guess that’d be fine. If that would be easier for you,” he looked at Jungkook with his best apathetic face.

But Jungkook’s face was anything but apathetic. He was trying to hide it. But his eyes couldn’t hide anything. He was elated at the suggestion of being able to stay in his cabin during the winter.

“I suppose,” he shrugged.

Much to Taehyung’s surprise. Not everyone was in full support of the idea.

“Hmm. I don’t know,” Jin’s face read with concern. “That cabin is awfully small for two adult men”

Yoongi finally looked up. “It is small, but I think they’d be alright.”

Jungkook suddenly spoke. “It’s a good idea just for the cabin too. I can keep the snow off the roof and make sure there’s enough wood.” He looked at Taehyung and nodded once. “And I can take a look at the article too.”

Jin looked between them and then to Yoongi. “You think it will be alright?”

Jimin answered instead. “I think it’s a good idea.”

Jin’s head shot around toward Jimin. “Really?”

Jimin nodded.

Namjoon chimed in. “Me too. It makes sense. And if it doesn’t work out then Jungkook can just come back and live with us.”

Jin looked around the table and stopped on Yoongi.

“It’ll be fine, Jin.” He pointed his spoon toward Jungkook and then Taehyung. “You’ve said yourself these are two grown men. They aren’t boys. They can figure out how to work together for a common goal.”

Taehyung glanced once more at Jungkook before the conversation turned to something else. He could tell just by his demeanor that he was happy. And it came as a surprise to him that Jungkook’s smile, even as he tried to hide it, made him a little happier too.

The party lasted well into the evening. Around 11pm, everyone started to leave to their own homes.  Taehyung stayed with Jimin to clean up the mess in the tavern, even though Jin had insisted it wasn’t necessary because he would do it when he returned. He had left well over an hour ago with Jungkook. Saying something about wanting to give Jungkook something to help him sleep more soundly.

But neither had returned and he and Jimin had finished all the dishes and clean up.

“I guess no one is coming back,” Jimin observed. “Looks like we got tricked into doing everything.”

Taehyung laughed. “I don’t mind. It was worth it. Tonight was great. I haven’t had a holiday like this is so long.”

“Dongji is kind of special. It’s when Hoseok came to live with us. What do you normally do on holidays?”

“Nothing really.” Taehyung sat down in one of the chairs. “That’s why Namjoon has been asking me for years to come up here for holidays. Chuseok especially. But I never did until now.”

Jimin’s voice was hesitant. Almost like he was afraid of the answer to his question. “You mean you are all alone?”

“Yeah. Pretty much all the time. I travel for work a lot and I meet a lot of people. But no one really sticks you know?”

“What about dating?” Jimin used his finger to draw a big circle in the air in front of Taehyung. “I mean you’ve got a nice face and all. No girls or guys after you?”

Taehyung leaned back in his chair. “I prefer guys, but no. I guess they can chase after me. I don’t really let them catch me though. I’ve had some short flings here and there. But nothing substantial. I think I’ve known since I was a teenager that I’d be always be alone.”

“Is that the way you want it to be?”

“I suppose. Or rather it’s just the only way I know.” He sat up straight again. “Like take for example, Jin and Namjoon or especially Hoseok and Yoongi – those two finish each other’s sentences.  But when I look at them, I see something really special. And I guess I feel like if I can’t have something like that then I’m not interested in anything at all.”

Jimin, who normally looked quite happy, suddenly looked sad. “I can relate to that.”

“What about you?” Taehyung tried to ask in such a way that sounded compassionate not curious. “You work in the city? Have you dated a lot?”

“I’ve never wanted to date. I already met my soulmate. We grew up together.  I didn’t know of course when we were kids, but by time we were teenagers, I knew he was the one.”

“What happened? Why didn’t it work out?”

“It’s a long story. Too long for tonight. But basically my father didn’t want us to be together. And he did everything he could to stop it. To ruin it.”

“Was he not accepting that it was guy you loved instead of a girl?”

“No that wasn’t it at all.”

“Then he just didn’t like him?”

“Yeah. You could say that. According to my father he wasn’t one of us. It was pretty complicated. And then things got very bad and he left the village when we were around 16 and 17."

“Was your father happy then after he left?”

“No. He actually died around the same time.”

“Then why didn’t…sorry what was his name?”

“Ha Sungwoon.”

“Why did he leave if your father was dead? Why couldn’t you guys be together?”

Jimin shook his head and stood up. Taehyung took that as a nonverbal clue that he maybe didn’t want to talk about it anymore. "It's a long story."

“I’m sorry Jimin.  The journalist instinct in me is hard to kill. I’m asking you too many questions and too many personal ones at that.”

Jimin’s eyes were wet. “No, please don’t be sorry. It isn’t your fault. And I don’t mind talking about him. I like talking about him. The memories just overwhelmed me for a moment.” He sniffed and blinked a few times. “But to answer your question, there was a lot of pain. We both had been through a lot. And neither of us thought we would be good for the other anymore.”

“What about now? Do you know where he is?”

Jimin nodded. “In the city. I’ve known where he was for years. Sometimes I try to catch a glimpse of him. Just to make sure he is alright. It’s just so much time has passed and I don’t know if there is anything still there. And I don’t think I could bear it if I were to find out there wasn’t anything still there. It’s something I’ve decided is better left sleeping.”

“I’m terribly sorry Jimin. That’s heartbreaking.”

Jimin visibly made the decision to change the vibe in the room. His eyes dried up and he gave Taehyung a smile as he bounced toward the door.

“Speaking of sleeping. It’s getting late and I don’t think those jokers are coming back tonight. They probably figure we cleaned everything up.”

Taehyung stood. A little disappointed that he wasn’t going to see Jungkook again tonight. He assumed Jungkook would move back into the cabin in a few days, but even that he wasn’t certain of.

“Hey, how about I walk you back to the cabin?”

“I’m alright.” As soon as he said it, he thought about how dark it was tonight and began to wonder if it wouldn’t be better to have company as he made his way up the hill. “You’d probably like to get to bed yourself.”

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind a little walk just for the fresh air. Won’t be many mild nights like this as winter settles in up here.”

It was true, even though it was the first day of winter, the temperature was brisk but not too cold yet. Taehyung was looking forward to the walk as well.

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

Jimin shut off the lights and locked up while Taehyung waited in front of the tavern with his hands in his jacket pockets. When he finished, they started up the hill together.

He made sure to caution Jimin about the wet leaves and how they could be as slick as ice.

“So did you guys decide when Jungkook is coming back to live at the cabin?”

“Nah. I’m guessing it’s not tonight. I don’t know. Maybe he even changed his mind.”

Jimin emphatically shook his head. “No way. He probably just got tied up with Jin. I could tell during dinner when we were talking about it. He’s very happy to know he is going to be able to live in the cabin over the winter.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Taehyung shrugged his shoulders. It bothered him that he was bothered that they hadn’t decided on a day to move in.

“Are you worried? Do you think you guys won’t get along?”

“No, I think we’ll be fine. I mean I’m sure we’ll butt heads about something, but I want to finish the article and he wants me to finish the article. I think we can make it work. It’s just a short amount of time anyway. Then I’ll be done and out of all of your hair.”

“Oh, I don’t think anyone is eager for you to leave. Especially not Jungkook.”

Taehyung stopped. “You’ve got to be kidding me? What in the world makes you think that? Most the time I wonder if he hates me. ”

“I don’t think. I know. I grew up with Jungkook. Don’t be fooled by that surly exterior. He doesn’t hate you. Far from it. He’s just really green about a lot of stuff. And he struggles with his emotions.”

Taehyung started walking again along Jimin.

“Green?”

“Yeah, he can tell you everything about this mountain. But…well you’ve seen. He is pretty much clueless about relationships outside the ones he has with us. Basically his brothers.”

Taehyung muttered an “oh” as though he understood what Jimin meant. And he was just about to ask more questions and tell him about how he could sometimes hear Jungkook’s thoughts. And he knew Jungkook could hear his. And about the night when he had too much to drink and told Jungkook there was something going on that they needed to figure out. He was even going to tell him how disappointed he felt that Jungkook didn’t seem to want to be friends. But he ran out of time when they rounded the corner of the cabin.

Because there on the porch. Just sitting like he owned the place, was the black wolf.

“Oh, he’s back! I haven’t seen him in a few days.”

Jimin looked suspiciously between Taehyung and the black wolf.

“This is the wolf that’s been keeping me company. He’s very gentle if you want to pet him?”

The black wolf descended the stairs and stood right in front of them.

Taehyung couldn’t help himself. He had to touch the wolf and he immediately began to rub his head. Scratching between the ears.

Jimin laughed a little. “No thanks, I’ll pass.” He looked between Taehyung and the wolf again and shook his head as he walked away raising up one hand to wave goodbye. “See you tomorrow, Tae.”

“Hey Jimin! Thanks for the talk.”

“Anytime” He looked at them both again. Smiled, shook his head with a little laugh, and turned to walk back down the hill.

Taehyung turned to the wolf while he continued to rub his head. “Where’ve you been the past few days? I was watching for you. Everyone keeps saying this winter is going to be brutal and I was worried I might not see you for a while.”

The wolf lowered his body to the ground next to Taehyung’s feet.

“Well, if you’re going to stay for a while, I’m not going in and leaving you out here laying on the ground alone.”

He sat down on the ground and pulled his jacket a little tight around him.

The wolf scooted closer so that he was right up against him with his hind legs laying right behind Taehyung.

The more he scratched his ears and rubbed at his coat, the more peace he felt. It had been a good evening with all the guys. And this was the perfect ending. He looked up into the sky.

“I guess Jungkook would know how to read that sky and know what weather was going to be tomorrow. I’m sure you’ve seen him even before I got here. That’s his cabin or I’d just let you come in with me if you wanted. He’d probably lose his shit if I did that.”

He looked down at the wolf lying so peacefully with his stomach on the ground and the side of his body pressed up again him. He ran his heads through the scruff at his neck and then lowered his head resting it on the wolfs mid-section and turned onto his back so that he was using him life a pillow.

The wolf seemed to enjoy that and made a small noise as he turned his muzzle toward Taehyung and rubbed it into his neck before laying his head back on the ground.

Taehyung folded his hands across his stomach and looked up at the vast sky of stars. City skies never looked like this. Not even close.

The city, no place in the world, had ever felt like this. Not even close.

“He’s supposed to be moving back in here with me for a while and help me finish the article. I haven’t lived with anyone since my mom. That will be weird. Plus that…just between you and me. The guy makes me crazy. Sometimes I want to choke him with my bare hands…and other times…I want to…well you probably don’t need at the details. Just don’t go disappearing on me okay. I’ll need a friend up here this winter if he and I can’t get along.”

“You know, even though it isn’t full, the moon is so pretty tonight.  When I look at it, I think of my mother. And I miss her. But she always told me to remember that the moon and sun are still there even when we can’t see them. Clouds, new moons. And even as the sun drops below the horizon and seems like it’s gone. On the other side of the world someone is watching the horizon as that same sun rises above it.”

“I know she said that stuff because she knew that she was going to die one day and leave me all alone. I try to think of it as comforting because I know she would want me to. But sometimes it just makes me miss her more.”

Taehyung continued to ramble for a little while until his words got further and further apart and it felt like his body had sunk into the ground. He must have dozed off, but he wasn’t sure for how long. The cold nose on his cheek awoke him and he realized he needed to go inside. He didn’t feel sick, but he had been having some dizzy spells and he wondered if he was getting an ear infection. No need to make it worse with the chilly midnight air.

He stood as did the wolf and rubbed the top of his head. “I better go in now and try to sleep. I’m glad I got to spend part of the longest night of the year out here with you. Come by tomorrow and I’ll have some eggs for you.”

He gave one final pat and ascended the stairs noting how the wolf didn’t even make a move to leave until he was completely in the cabin with the door closed.

Skipping his nightly rituals, he fell into bed and hoped that the sleep hadn’t left him entirely and that he could drift back into it. But that wasn’t the case at all.

He began to think about Jungkook. And how would they get along. He wondered why he wanted to be around him when he wasn’t even that nice sometimes. And he thought again about this morning in the kitchen when he thought for a moment that Jungkook was going to kiss him and for some crazy reason he was disappointed when he didn’t.

“I should have just slept outside on the ground,” he bemoaned to himself. “At least I was settled and – “

He didn’t even get to finish the sentence when he heard the familiar howl. Smiling to himself he closed his eyes.

Chapter Text

“You’re not going to give me orders in my own cabin, Kim Taehyung!”

Jin had just stepped inside and closed the door behind him when a pillow flew from the bedroom door and went zipping through the air in front of him

“Sorry Jin,” Jungkook huffed into the room. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Clearly you didn’t. I brought you some soup for dinner. You just moved in today! What in the world are you fighting about already? Drawer space?”

“No,” Jungkook stammered angrily. “He’s trying to tell me I have to take the bedroom and he’ll sleep in the living room.”

“Jungkook, is it possible that he is just trying to be nice and you’re misinterpreting it as him trying to tell you what to do?”

Jungkook opened his mouth to speak and Taehyung emerged from the kitchen. “No Jin, I am his hyung and I am, without a doubt, telling him exactly what he is going do.”

Jin pinched the bridge of his nose as the two continued to talk over each other. Each trying to make their case for why the other should sleep in the bed.

“Hold up, hold up,” he held up both hands. “I didn’t come up here to referee your petty bickering. You’ll figure this out when it’s subzero temperatures up here and you’ll both just be glad that you’re warm.”

“If this is about being warm then it’s definitely going to be warmer on the floor. And especially closer to the fire.” Jungkook looked at Jin for back up.

“That’s not exactly true, Jungkook,” Taehyung retorted. “The whole floor is warm no matter what room. I just thought you might want the privacy and sanctuary of your own room. Sue me I guess for trying to be nice.”

“It’s not actually very nice to try argue when your host is trying to be hospitable and let you take the bedroom!” Jungkook snapped back.

Taehyung threw up his arms, shook his head and walked into the bathroom closing the door behind him.

Jin barely looked at Jungkook before he started making excuses. “Look Jin, I’m sure he’s trying to be nice But it would be nicer if he would just do what I tell him to do.”

Jin put both hands loosely around Jungkook’s throat and pretended to choke him. “Neither of you are making any sense. You’re just arguing for the sake of arguing!”

Jungkook pushed off his hands and huffed as he threw himself down on the couch. He leaned back and folded his arms over his eyes making a noise of frustration.

Jin sat down next to him. “Is it too much, Jungkook? We all thought you would want to be in your cabin during winter, but if you don’t we can work something else out.”

“No, it isn’t too much.” Jungkook sighed and dropped his hands to rest at his sides. “It is what I want. And I should be thanking him and I’m not. I came up here this morning and I promised myself I wouldn’t get irritated and I would be nice. And then he told me…not asked me…but told me I was taking the bedroom and I just lost my resolve.”

“I think he may have been legitimately trying to be nice to you.”

“Maybe. Probably. Why am I such as asshole, Jin?”

Jin patted his knee. “You aren’t an asshole. Well, mostly you aren’t an asshole. You’ve got a great heart, kid. You always have. But it’s not been an easy life.” Jin stopped. Jungkook couldn’t help but feel that he wanted to stay something more but for whatever reason he didn’t. “I think you and Taehyung have a lot in common. And I hope you can see that he wants to save the mountain as much as we all do.”

Jungkook nodded.

“I know he respects your knowledge. He's said as much to me. He couldn’t write this article without you. And I know you well enough, Jeon Jungkook, to know that you admire him.”

“Even when he irritates the hell out of me?”

“Yes, even when he irritates the hell out of you.”

“I know I do.”

“Can I ask you something? And you answer honestly.”

“I’ll try.”

“Do you trust him? Because you didn’t at first? And it seems like you do now. At least compared to when he first got here.”

“Yes,” Jungkook admitted. “I know he’s here to help us.”

“Now that you’ve gotten to know him better, do you think he’s a bad guy?”

“No, I think he’s a decent guy.” Jungkook said as flatly as possible so that nothing could be read into it.

Jin raised his eyebrow. “Just a decent guy, huh?”

Jungkook’s embarrassment rose to his cheeks. He never could hide anything from Jin. He still couldn’t. “Well…what I mean is –“

Jin stood and put his hand on Jungkooks head. “It’s alright. I’m just teasing you. Are you sure you’re okay living up here with him?”

Jungkook couldn’t explain the way he felt about Taehyung sometimes. He couldn’t explain the way he pushed his buttons. The way he made him almost giddy one moment and then unsettled the next. But he knew there wasn’t anywhere else he wanted to be.

“It’ll be fine, Jin. I promise.”

“Alright. I’m going to trust you. But if you get the urge to rip his head off I want you to come down to the tavern and cool off first.”

“And then I can come back here and rip his head off?”

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny Jungkook. Just take care of yourself. You know as well as I do that winters can be hard for you. Speaking of, it just started snowing and it doesn’t look to stop anytime soon.” Jin patted his shoulder. “Just remember we’re right down the hill.”

Jungkook was starving and Jin’s soup smelled delicious. He put it on the burner and pulled a bowl from the cabinet. Thought for a moment an grabbed a second one and two spoons from the drawer. He filled his own bowl and sat the second bowl and spoon next to the pot. 

Taehyung eventually emerged from the bathroom. He had obviously cleaned up as his hair was wet. His sweet amaretto scent was even more obvious than usual. The sight with the scent created such a stir in him. He had spent a week or so after the solstice trying to prepare himself for being in the presence of Taehyung 24/7 and then finally decided he needed to get moved back in before the snows started.

But no amount of preparation could have been enough.

“Hey, Jin brought us soup for dinner.” He pointed with his spoon towards the pot. “I sat a bowl out for you.”

Taehyung made a quizzical face and dished up his soup. When he sat down at the table, Jungkook’s stomach did a little jump at how close he was. Taehyung didn’t seem to have any need for personal space. It both unnerved and intrigued him.

“S’good,” Taehyung between his first and second spoonful.

“Jin’s always been a good cook. He’s like a doting mom, always making sure that everyone is eating enough.”

“I’ve noticed,” Taehyung agreed. “It seems like he takes care of everyone. Sometimes it seems like he’s the one who raised you.”

“Yeah, for the most part he’s acted as my mom, parent, older brother for as long as I can remember.” Jungkook scoffed. “Of course, that’s not been so long.”

“I get that. I don’t have any real memories of my childhood. Nothing really before my mom and I moved into our apartment.

“By the way, I didn’t realize your mother had died until Joon told me. I’m very sorry.”

Taehyung shrugged as though it didn’t bother him anymore, but Jungkook could still see the grief in his eyes. And much to his surprise he didn’t just see it. He felt it.

His guard fell just a little more.

“I don’t remember my parents dying, but according to the guys, I guess I took it really hard.”

“You don’t remember anything about them?”

Jungkook thought for a moment. Uncertain if he wanted to be this honest with Taehyung. “No, nothing substantial. Sometimes I get flashes of things that might be memories, but not enough to really say I remember them.  

He didn’t like the look on Taehyung’s face. It felt a little too much like pity. And Jungkook didn’t want that.

He added quickly. “Really it’s been fine. I’ve had everything I needed from the guys. Yoongi and Joon were responsible for my academic education. All the guys have been as close to me as brothers. Hobi and Jimin have been like nurturers. And of course you know, Jin’s a great cook and about the closest thing we have to a doctor.”

Taehyung motioned toward the stack of books on the desk. “I read some stuff about how full the village used to be. They even had their own doctor and clinic up here”

“I don’t remember any of that. I know it burned down. Jin says a virus swept through and a lot of people died. Including my parents.”

“I haven’t come across anything about a virus yet. Or the clinic burning down.” Taehyung shrugged. “But I’ve not gone through them chronologically. I've jumped around a lot and honestly I’ve had to do a lot of skimming. Turns out I didn’t need those things as much as I thought I would. Most of the article, the best parts, have come from first-hand information you gave me. That's why I'd really like to put these finishing touches on it with you.”

At first, Jungkook wasn’t sure he had heard him correctly. It was a compliment. Taehyung was admitting that he had been helpful. He wasn’t sure what he should say if anything at all.

“In fact, if you wouldn’t mind it would be nice if you took a look at my rough draft tonight?”

“Sure.” Jungkook nodded and took another spoonful of soup all too aware of how bizarre it was that they could be at each other’s throats one moment and then like this the next.

Taehyung leaned over Jungkook to pull up the file on the laptop.

“I can open it, I do know how to work a laptop” He didn’t particularly mind how close Taehyung was, but he wanted to make sure that he didn't think he knew nothing about technology even though he was usually immersed in nature.

Taehyung continued to loom over him and turned to look him in the eye. “I’m sure you can. But I have a lot of files on here and I don’t want you opening the wrong one.”

“What?  you’ve got private stuff on your laptop?” He felt confident with the quip until Taehyung smirked. Still far too much into his space.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Jungkook was used to banter with Taehyung, but this was something closer to flirting. He had no idea what to say in response if he was flirting.

Taehyung moved back and stood up laughing just a little. Jungkook rolled his eyes.

He cleared his throat and leaned forward to focus on the open document. Trying to ignore whatever Taehyung was doing behind him. However, that was becoming increasingly difficult as he could feel the chair being weighed down by his hands pushing down on the backrest.

Jungkook swore he could feel him breathing.

“Are you going to stand there the entire time watching me read this?”

“No, no.” Taehyung backed up. “I was just trying to get a good look at the snow. It’s really coming down.” Jungkook didn’t call him out on the apparent lie, but Taehyung seemed to be compelled to tell the truth anyway. “Sorry. I just get nervous when anyone reads my rough drafts. I’m just going to sit here on the couch and read my book. But I’ll stay close in case you have any questions.”

Jungkook nodded absentmindedly, as the article grabbed his attention right from the start. He quickly forgot about Taehyung reading on the couch behind him the more he became immersed in the article. Taehyung really did have a way with words. And Jungkook could easily pick on the pieces of information and the things Taehyung had taken from him and put into the article.

He made some notes and corrected a few things. He even put some positive comments into the margin. With any luck, the article would be enough to spur public awareness and support for the preservation of the mountain from the Winter Olympics Committee’s plans to destroy it.

Reading the article also gave him some insight into Taehyung’s mind and voice. He’d heard him in plenty of conversations and even had some with him too. But the written word was different. He understood why he was so sought after. The piece was full of information, but he had a way of telling that felt more like a story. It would be an article that was hard to put down.

Compliments weren’t something that Jungkook handed out easily, especially not to Taehyung, but this necessitated one.

“This is really an exceptional article. I made some notes and slight corrections, but – .” He turned in his chair towards the couch expecting to see Taehyung still reading, but he wasn’t.

Instead he was sound asleep, head thrown back and mouth agape. His book was resting on his chest rising up and down with his breaths.

It occurred to him that this might have been the first night Taehyung had fallen asleep without his, or rather his wolf’s, assistance.

It was also the first time he was able to just look at him. Usually the only looks he could sneak in were indirect. Side eyeing, or watching him and then looking away when he Taehyung caught him watching.

But this was a completely unobstructed view. And he took full advantage of it.

He touched Taehyung’s hair. It was softer than he had expected. He desperately wanted to touch his cheek to feel the warmth of his skin. But he couldn’t take the chance that touching him would wake him. The last thing he wanted was for Taehyung to wake up and see him standing over him.

But it was almost impossible to turn away. Jungkook could see him in his mind’s eye, laying just like that, totally peaceful, on the forest floor.

It suddenly occurred to him that if he woke Taehyung and told him to go into the bedroom it would likely be a repeat of the argument they had earlier. He would insist that Jungkook take the bedroom and he take the floor. The other option was that he could just carry Taehyung into the bedroom and hope that he stayed asleep.

The second option would give him two good things. First of all, he would have gotten his way and Taehyung would be sleeping in the bed. But also, and perhaps most importantly he would get to touch him.

In his mind there really wasn’t a choice to make.

He carefully picked up the book he was reading, closed it and laid it on the desk.

He then slid his left arm underneath Taehyung’s upper back and his right arm under the bend in his knees. When he hesitated for just a moment to makes sure that Taehyung wasn’t going to wake, his scent overwhelmed him.  He couldn’t resist and he leaned in closer to his neck to take it in.

 It didn’t look like there was any chance of waking him, as he was completely limp when Jungkook straightened his legs and stood with him in his arms.

Jungkook carried him into the bedroom and laid him gently on the pillow. Taehyung only stirred slightly when he pulled the blanket out from under him and placed it over him, but he still didn’t wake. A sigh escaped from his lips followed by steady exhales of warm breath.

He felt it on the back of his hand as it crossed over Taehyung’s face. But it wasn’t enough. He stopped his hand mid air and turned it. Using the pad of his index finger to trace over his fully pouted bottom lip.

The softness surprised him, but not as much as the stirring inside of him that made him want to replace his finger with his own lips. To suck the warm exhale into his mouth, into his own lungs.

But the other stirring rose within him. The one that reminded him that Taehyung ended up sleeping in the bed just as he had told him he should.

He stroked across the lip one more time with his finger and whispered, “I win.”

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Taehyung woke from what was quite possibly the most restful night of sleep he had ever had. It took him a moment to realize he was in the bed. Which meant that Jungkook got his way after all. He had trouble being upset about it, as his sleep had been so good, he wasn’t sure it would have been had he stayed on the couch or the living room floor.

He climbed out of bed and stretched. Somewhat eager to see what Jungkook was doing in the rest of the cabin. This was the first morning in a long time he woke up and wasn’t alone.

Pulling back the curtains that covered the door opening, Jungkook had clearly been up for a while and folded up the blankets and the shikibuton.

He didn’t see him right away, but did smell breakfast from the kitchen.

Not wanting to seem to too eager, he stopped at the window in the living room first to see how much it had snowed. It was quite a lot and still snowing. He watched a few more minutes and then joined Jungkook in the kitchen sitting down at the table.

“It really snowed a lot last night.”

At first, he was afraid Jungkook wasn’t going to respond or that he hadn’t heard him, but then he turned his head from where he stood at the counter and gave Taehyung a half smile.

“That’s nothing. Sometimes it snows so much the door is blocked.”

“Seriously?”

“Well it isn’t so much as the snow falling but the drifting.” Jungkook went back to stirring whatever was cooking. “In fact, I'm pretty certain it’s going to get fairly bad today with the wind picking up like it has.”

“Guess it’s good I’ve got plenty to work on the with the article today.” He didn’t want to ask, but he couldn’t help himself. “How far did you manage to get yesterday?”

“All of it.”

Taehyung was hoping that short response wasn’t going to be the extent of his feedback. He didn’t want to pressure and ask more questions, but it was hard not to see Jungkook’s clipped answer as an indication that he didn’t think it was any good.

He knew he wasn’t going to ask aloud for more feedback and he didn’t really mean to ask at all but the thought was so persistent and he was so locked into Jungkook’s reaction it was apparent that he was unable to keep the thought to himself.

I knew it. You hated it.

Jungkook stopped what he was doing at the counter and looked up then slowly turned his head over his shoulder and gave Taehyung something like a smile mixed with a smirk.

He felt immediate embarrassment and couldn’t stop his next thought. Dammit. You heard me.

That made Jungkook laugh aloud. And the more he laughed the more insecure and embarrassed Taehyung got. But he wasn’t going to give him anything else so he tried desperately to clear his mind. He angrily jumped up and started to head out of the kitchen.

“No, no.” Jungkook was still laughing some, but trying to steady his voice. “Come back. Come back. I’m sorry. It was good. Honestly. I made some notes. But I really like it.”

Taehyung’s shoulders relaxed in relief, but then hunched up again in disbelief. “Really? You liked it? Honestly? Truly?”

Jungkook scooped up two bowls of rice and set them on the table. “Honestly. Swear to Goddess. You captured the whole spirit of the mountain and the village really well. Better than I could have imagined.”

Taehyung hesitantly sat back down at the table and started to eat his rice. After a few bites he gave Jungkook a side eye. “What do you mean you made some notes?”

“Just some small additions and corrections on details. I didn’t change your writing style.”

Taehyung nodded and went back to eating.

“You’re a good writer. I wouldn’t mind to read other things you’ve written.” Jungkooks voice was sincere or at least seemed to be. He wasn’t laughing anymore and Taehyung wanted to believe him.

He tried to conceal it. But with every word Jungkook said he felt his ego grow a little more. He mumbled “Thank you” through a mouth of rice.

Jungkook took a bite from his bowl. “You didn’t include anything about winter. The snow. So I added that.”

Taehyung kept eating, but questioned with his eyes.

“When the snow melts it goes to the rivers and streams and resets the water table which is critical. It also insulates the ground up here from the wind and cold. Which makes the plants better able to survive the winter and create new growth in the spring.”

“So the snow is like a blanket?”

“Yes exactly.”

“It’s beautiful outside. I didn’t think it would look quite like this.”

“Beautiful, but dangerous,” Jungkook cautioned. “The situation out there can change quickly. The drifting and wind are no joke and the cold can cause hypothermia or frostbite pretty quickly if you aren’t careful.”

“How do the wildlife survive?”

“Each species is different, but most have a way to go dormant. To save their energy.”

“What do the wolves do?”

Jungkook scoffed, “They grow winter coats that keep them warm.”

“Do they still come around?”

Jungkook hesitated. “You probably won’t see any. They don’t go dormant, but they tend to be more active on the other parts of the mountain. Roaming around in search of food and mates.”

It made Taehyung a little sad to think he might not see his wolf friend for a while. He almost said so, but something inside made him change his mind and keep that thought to himself.

Sometime in the late afternoon, Jungkook announced he needed to go check on one of the houses in the village and stop by the tavern to make sure Jin was prepared for the bad weather that he was sure was approaching.

The snow was falling steady and had been throughout the day, but it didn’t seem necessarily bad or dangerous. In fact, it looked so beautiful through the window he couldn’t wait to get out into it. He was hoping because winter had just started, maybe the black wolf would still be around a little. It had been at least a week since he had seen him. He had still heard him of course.

Every night.

That is every night up until last night. Last night he had been so exhausted he fell asleep while reading. He assumed it was because he had spent the week trying to get the rough draft ready for another set of eyes. And he worked extra hard getting the cabin cleaned up before Jungkook moved in yesterday. He figured he had just been too tired to fight sleep.

He also wondered maybe he was able to fall asleep on his own now, but didn’t know it because he hadn’t had the opportunity to try because the wolf always howled him to sleep. That was an encouraging thought. Even though he missed the black wolf and didn’t really want him to disappear.

With Jungkook being gone for a while, he thought it would be the perfect time to take a quick walk and enjoy what looked to him to be a winter wonderland of sorts. He wondered what the waterfall and clearing must look like frozen and covered in snow. And of course, he couldn’t help but hope that he might run into the black wolf.

He put on his winter coat and hat with some gloves. It was cold when he stepped outside the cabin, but not terribly uncomfortable, at first. After a few minutes he became aware that his cheeks were stinging a little from the wind.

But then he noticed the tracks. It definitely looked like wolf tracks.

The snow was much higher in some places that others due to the drifting. However, he did his best to both follow the tracks and avoid walking into any of the larger drifts.

The tracks were heading in the direction of the waterfall, but as the wind started to blow harder it became more difficult to see the pawprints in the snow.

He tried to turn his back to the wind, but it seemed to be coming from all directions at once. His cheeks were burning now. His knit gloves and hat were damp from the blowing snow. And it was getting increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open let alone see where he was going.

Deciding to head back to the cabin seemed to be the right thing to do.

But he had a problem, nothing looked familiar covered in white. And the continuous blowing was getting worse by the minute. He was no longer concerned with getting to the waterfall or following the tracks. He only wanted to get back to the cabin.

The drifts seemed to be getting higher and it was difficult to keep his balance and stay upright. His legs felt like jelly as he trudged through the snow.

He stopped walking and tried to take stock of where he was, but nothing looked right. It seemed as though he had walked long enough that he should have been back to the cabin, however it was no where in sight.

His wet gloves were useless at wiping the snow that was collecting on his eyelashes, but still he tried to clear them.

He stumbled over something in the snow and fell into one of the drifts. Even though it took a great deal of effort, he struggled to get upright again. The weariness from walking was now deep in his bones. The next time he fell, he considered just waiting a moment before getting up. Giving himself a moment to rest. But that seemed like a bad idea considering how heavy and dense the snow was blowing around him.

His vision became blurry as he struggled to stand again. Dizziness began to overtake him. He was too disoriented, too tired to keep moving. He fell to his knees again and shook his head furiously. Trying to will his body and mind to stay alert. But it was no use and he collapsed into the drift.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

“Jungkook? Jungkook?” Jin shook him by the shoulders. “Are you alright?”

He could feel Jin moving him back and forth, but everything in him felt frozen.

“Taehyung,” he murmured.

“What? What are you talking about?”

His eyes met Jin’s concerned face and he forced himself to speak. “Something is wrong. He isn’t okay.”

“I thought you left him up at the cabin?”

“I did. But something isn’t right. I have to find him.” Jungkook felt panic deep in his bones as he shrugged off Jin’s hands and headed toward the door.

“Jungkook!” Jin called out. “Wait, it’s terrible out there. I’ll come with you.”

But he wasn’t listening and he bolted out the tavern door with the singular focus of finding Taehyung.

Within seconds of leaving the tavern, he broke into a run. Without even giving it much thought, he shifted. Instinctively knowing that he could find Taehyung better in that form, even though he had no idea what he would do if he found him.

The snow and the increasingly worsening blizzard didn’t impair his senses, but it did make it more difficult to move as quickly as he wanted as he tried to maneuver around drifts some of which were several feet high.

He could smell Taehyung amidst the trees which meant he was not safe in the cabin like he had hoped. But he couldn’t see him. He could hardly see anything with the way the wind was blowing the snow around.

As he ran, he sensed Jin was gaining on him and he was relieved that he would have help in locating Taehyung. He strained his ear trying to see if he could hear anything to give him a clue of which direction to head, but the wind was too loud.

In the distance it looked like something red was sticking out of a large snow drift at the base of a tree. He recognized it immediately as part of Taehyung’s coat. His shoulder.

He released a howl to alert Jin to where he was. It wasn’t too far from the cabin, but it was clear from the size of the drifts and the snow that was still blowing that Taehyung had gotten disoriented and lost his way. Jungkook wasn’t sure how long he had been in the drift, he hoped it hadn’t been too long.

He nosed and pawed into the drift making a clearing to get to him. He found his neck and sniffed. He was breathing, but his pulse was too light.

Jin came up behind him in human form. “Here,” he finished brushing the snow off Taehyung. “Can you carry him on your back?”

Jungkook lowered his body making it easier for Jin to pry Taehyung from the drift and drape his body over his back. “Come on, I’ll keep him braced as we walk back to cabin.”

The short distance back seemed to take twice as long.

When they got back to the cabin, Jin lifted Taehyung and carried him into the house. Jungkook shifted quickly and followed them in. Quickly tossing on the first pair of boxers he saw.

“He has hypothermia. We’ve got to get him warm and out of these clothes.” Jin looked worried.

Jungkook threw more wood on the fire and unfolded the blankets. “Here. It will be warmer in here by the fire on the heated floor than in the bedroom.”

Jin began to carefully pull off Taehyung’s hat, coat, and gloves. Jungkook felt useless as he unrolled the shikibuton onto the floor and moved it closer to the hearth.

“He’s too cold to put into a bath. You’re going to have to warm him slowly here.” Jin looked up at Jungkook as he removed Taehyung’s shoes. “Your body heat, Jungkook. You need to use it to warm his core.”

Jungkook nodded. He knew that it was most important to warm his trunk before his extremities. And he knew his body temperature was generally higher than usual whether he was in his wolf or human form. He helped Jin finish taking off Taehyung’s clothes until he was down to his boxers. Then together they gently pulled him onto the mattress. Jungkook laid next to him in nothing but his boxers and pulled him to him to his chest as Jin covered them both with several blankets and tucked them in around the edge.

“He’s freezing, Jin. Is he okay?” Jungkook looked up in fear.

“He will be. We need to see if we can get him talking.”

Jungkook pulled him closer under the blankets shocked at how cold his torso was against the warmth of his own.

“Taehyung?” Jin leaned closer to his ear. “Hey. Can you hear me? Taehyung?”

When he didn’t answer, Jungkook began to panic. “Why isn’t he waking?”

“He will.” Jin assured him. “Talk to him.”

Jungkook looked helplessly from Jin back down to Taehyung pressed up against his body. “Taehyung?” He shook their bodies in unison. “Taehyung? You need to open your eyes. Tell me you can hear me?”

“Keep talking.” Jin encouraged him. “His eye just twitched.”

“Taehyung?” Jungkook tried to hide the panic in his voice, even though he knew he couldn’t hide anything from Jin who looked at him with sympathy and urged him on.

“Come on, Tae.” He wasn’t sure if he imagined it or not, but it felt like Taehyung’s heart was beating a little faster than it had been. It could have also been his own heart as there seemed to be no way to distinguish between the two with them being so close.

He watched his lips. They had been blue gray, but they slowly began to turn a pale pink.

And then they moved. Just a little. His eyelashes fluttered slowly.

“You don’t have to talk yet. Save your strength. Just nod yes or no. Are you getting warmer?”

Both Jin and Jungkook breathed a sigh of relief as they watched his head nod just slightly.

“Good. Good.” Jin seemed even more relieved than he had appeared worried. “Just keep warming him.”

“Should we give him something warm to drink?”

“No, just wait. What you’re doing right now is best. Just keep talking to him and keep him warm.”

Jungkook nodded and repositioned himself to pull Taehyung even closer. “Thank you, Jin. For helping me find him.”

Jin patted his leg. “It’s alright. He’s going to be alright.”

Jungkook closed his eyes and sighed. Making sure that he could still feel Taehyung’s heartbeat. He began to rock their bodies slowly back and forth together.

“I’m going to head back to the tavern. It’s starting to get dark and Joon is probably wondering where I am. You let me know if he doesn’t seem to be coming to or getting better.”

“Can he sleep?”

“Eventually, yes. Get him warm first. He is going to be exhausted and want to sleep. You both are. But try to keep him awake until he becomes fully conscious and you can get him to talk to you.”

Jin sat next to them for a few more minutes before silently getting up to leave.

When Jungkook heard the door close he pulled back just a little to see Taehyung’s face better. The color was returning to his lips and cheeks.

He pulled him closer again and started to talk. He talked about the mountain and what spring would be like. He asked as many simple yes/no questions as he could. Feeling relief every time Taehyung nodded.

When Taehyung slowly opened his eyes just a little and shivered, he felt more relief than he thought possible.

“You’re going to be shivering for a while. Diving into snowdrifts is not a good idea but not on a day like today,” he grumbled. “Why did you leave the cabin?”

Taehyung didn’t seem to see him, even though he was peering out at him through his slitted eyes. “Saw tracks…” he mumbled. “Wan’ t’ fine’ you…” He closed his eyes sleepily as his voice trailed off.

“Me?” Jungkook asked in confusion. It didn’t make sense that Taehyung would have been looking for him because he knew exactly where Jungkook was heading. And he didn’t leave any human footsteps anyway because he had shifted as soon as he left the cabin. First heading to the waterfall before going down to the village. So tracks had been left. But Taehyung wouldn’t have known those were his. Unless..

Taehyung nodded. “M’cold,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, I know,” Jungkook decided to not question him anymore. It irritated him that Taehyung had wandered out into the snow alone. No matter who he was looking for. But it didn’t matter, as all he wanted was to make sure he was going to be okay.

His body, was noticeably warmer and he seemed more alert, although still sleepy. Jungkook figured he had to be sleepy or he wouldn’t have allowed Jungkook to be holding him so tightly.

When he felt Taehyung burrow his forehead into Jungkook’s neck like he was trying to get warmer, he felt another wave of relief.

“Do you need anything?” he whispered.

“No, jus’ tired. An’ cold.”

“You’ll warm up soon,” Jungkook assured him as he began to rock back and forth again. He tried to stay awake. However, he could feel Taehyung’s breath warm on his chest and a slight snore coming from his lips. “Just rest.”

After a short time, he found it impossible to stay awake and he drifted off to sleep with Taehyung in his arms.

When he awoke he came to the slow, but then sudden awareness that at some point Taehyung had rolled over and when he did, Jungkook must have done the same and was spooning him.

“Uh…Jungkook?” Taehyung’s dark sleepy voice felt like it was part of his dream. He had been dreaming most of the night, but upon waking up, he wasn’t able to remember the details. Just that he had felt good. He had been happy. And Taehyung calling his name felt like a normal, natural extension of that.

“Hmmm?” Jungkook snuggled a little closer, until he realized what he was doing. His eyes flew open and he was too paralyzed to move.

“Your…uh…I think your dick is poking into my back.”

Jungkook was too embarrassed to realize that, even though it was true, Taehyung hadn’t moved away either.

“Oh fuck!” He exclaimed as he threw back the covers and rolled over and up. Scrambling to his feet and hurrying toward the bathroom, he slammed the door behind him.

After a few minutes, Taehyung was knocking at the door. 

“Jungkook, hey…” His voice wasn’t mocking. It almost sounds sympathetic. It definitely still sounded weak. “It’s no big deal. It happens to me every morning.”

“Yeah, thanks Taehyung, but I think I know how morning wood works.” He couldn’t help it. His voice was mocking.

Taehyung knocked again. Jungkook just wanted him to go away. It wasn’t easy to urinate with a hard on. And his level of embarrassment was more than he thought he could bear.

“I was just trying to lighten the mood. But I shouldn’t have said it. The first thing I should have said was thank you for finding me yesterday.”

Jungkook put his dick back in his boxers and went to the mirror. Taking a moment in the hopes that Taehyung would get tired of waiting by the door.

But when he opened, it was immediately obvious that wasn’t the case. Taehyung’s look of concern broke into a tiny smile, but it just made Jungkook feel more embarrassed.

“You mean thank you for saving your dumb ass after you wandered off into a blizzard and nearly froze to death?” He brushed past him and grabbed his joggers off the floor next to the mattress and putting them on. He focused on tying the string, but he could sense that Taehyung was approaching. "And you look terrible! You should still be laying down."

“It wasn’t a blizzard when I went out! I’m not that stupid!”

Jungkook looked at him challengingly. “I told you it was going to get bad, so yeah it does look like you might be just that stupid ignore my warning.”

“Oh whatever.” Taehyung collapsed down on the couch. “I was scared shitless. And I knew you’d be a dick about it this morning. But I’m still grateful.”

That softened Jungkook a little. He thought back to last night. How scared he was when he couldn’t find Taehyung. The spike of terror that went through him when he finally did. And most of all, lying next to him, willing him with every cell of his own body to be alright.

He sat down on the other end of the couch. "You'll probably end up sick from this."

“Maybe. But you probably ought to take your temperature. You might be getting sick. I swear your body was over 104 degrees this morning. I’ve never felt anything so hot. I had to turn away because I was too warm.”

“My body temperature tends to run a little high.” Jungkook mumbled.

“That high?” Taehyung’s eyes widened as he turned toward him and reached over to touch his bicep. “You’re still hot. It feels like you’re burning up.”

Jungkook shook his arm to encourage Taehyung to remove his hand.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s normal. I’m fine.”

But that was a lie. Jungkook did usually run a little warmer than most people. And when he was a wolf it was even higher. But as far as he could remember it had never been this high. While he knew that some of the heat he felt coursing through his body was embarrassment. But he knew he had been warmer than usual last night. And he knew he was much warmer than usual this morning.

He wasn’t sure how to explain it to himself let alone explain it to Taehyung.

“Well at any rate. Thank you for finding me and taking care of me. It would have been hard to finish that article if I’d lost my fingers.” He chuckled and it sounded nervous. “So I guess you had a vested interest in making sure I didn’t die in a snow drift.”

Jungkook responded with his own nervous laughter. Taehyung often made him feel off center and anxious, but this was getting ridiculous. He was angry at himself that he just couldn’t look at the guy and relax. They had slept curled up around each other with only their boxer shorts on. Surely there was no reason to act like nervous strangers around each other anymore.

“Are you hungry?” Taehyung stood up. “The least I could after yesterday is fix you something to eat?”

Jungkook shrugged indecisively. He did feel hunger of some sort. It was deep in the pit of his stomach. Like a craving for something that he couldn’t put his finger on. He was restless and wanted to run. And at the same time, the last thing he wanted to do was leave Taehyung in the cabin. Especially when he still looked so weak. "You don't need to be cooking."

There wasn’t anything in those cabinets or the refrigerator that he believed could satisfy the empty gnawing inside him.

A knock at the front door interrupted their conversation.

“Who the hell would have trudged up through all this snow?”

“It’s not that bad today,” Jungkook offered. “The winds died down early this morning. There are still a lot of drifts, and we got good amount of snow dumped on the mountain, but it looks like the sun might even shine today.”

Taehyung opened the front door to see Yoongi standing in a three-foot snow drift right outside.

“Damn, Yoongi,” he motioned, “get in here out of the cold and snow!”

Yoongi took a large step forward so he was just barely inside the door, stomped his feet and brushed the snow off his legs. “Sorry, I’m probably going to soak the floor here.”

“Nah, come on in and sit down,” Taehyung moved out of the way and motioned toward the couch. “Jungkook and I were just getting ready to find something to make to eat.”

“No thanks. I’m not hungry. Had a late breakfast.” He sat down on the couch. “I’d just thought I’d come up and make sure you were alright after yesterday. Jin said you were pretty bad.”

“I honestly don’t remember much. I was just walking and all the sudden the wind got crazy and the next thing I knew I was falling.” He pointed toward Jungkook. “If it hadn’t been for him, I think I might have froze to death.”

Yoongi looked thoughtfully at Jungkook. “Yeah, Jungkook can be pretty handy to have around.”

“I didn’t even know Jin was here last night? I don’t remember anything until early this morning.”

“Just as well,” Yoongi assured him. “As long as you’re safe now. You look good. Hard to tell you were knocking on death’s door yesterday.”

“Yeah.” Taehyung nodded. “I don’t feel too badly. Just really tired. My muscles are kind of sore.”

“Oh yeah, speaking of.” Yoongi pulled a small bag out of the pocket of his parka. “Jin told me to give this to you. He said draw a hot bath and dump this in.”

Taehyung took it, examined it, and opened it to smell. “What is it?”

“My guess would be Epsom salt and some herbs.” Yoongi shrugged.

“Smells like lavender and eucalyptus.” Jungkook interjected. “To ease your muscles aches.”

“Ah,” Taehyung nodded. “That sounds nice. If you don’t mind I’m going to go use this. And when I get done we’ll find something to eat.”

Jungkook nodded and waved his hand. “Sure whatever.”

He watched as Taehyung gathered some clothes from the bedroom and went into the bathroom closing the door behind him.

Neither he nor Yoongi said anything to each other until the door closed.

But Jungkook had a feeling about what he was going to say. He watched his face as he sniffed the air.

“What the hell? Are you guys okay?” He hissed in a loud whisper.

“Yes, yes. He’s fine. We found him before the hypothermia set it too far.”

“I’m not talking about that.” Yoongi crinkled his nose. “It’s the other smell, the – “

“Don’t.” Jungkook cut him off. “I don’t know why it’s happening now. It’s never been like this before.”

“You’ve had ruts in the past?”

Jungkook stood up. Frustrated. “Yeah. I mean I guess they were ruts. Jin said they were. But it was nothing like this. I mean you know I’d just…you know take care things myself. But it wasn’t anything like this. I can’t think of anything else. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to sleep. I woke up this morning and all I want to do is…”

“With him?” Yoongi pointed toward the bathroom door.

“Yes with him,” Jungkook hissed. “And it sucks. Because now we’re stuck here in the cabin together.”

“You could always move back down to Jin and Joon’s.”

“I can’t do that.” Jungkook threw up his arms. “What would I say? Sorry I can’t live here with you because I’m so horny I’m crawling out of my skin.”

“Well I wouldn’t put it exactly like that. That’s not exactly what’s going on. It’s not that simple. And honestly, Jungkook, I’m looking at your face. And you don’t want to leave the cabin.” He smirked. “You don’t want to leave him at all.”

“Yoongi, you’re my hyung and I respect you, but…” Jungkook shook his head and tucked his lips inward. “The reason I can’t leave is because we don’t have the article done yet.”

“Is it close?”

“Yeah it’s close. But I said I would help him finish it and I’m going to do that. And I’ll just try to ignore this recent development.” He shifted uncomfortably and adjusted the crotch of his pants.

“Jungkook, think about it for a minute. Can you honestly say that this is a recent development?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but Yoongi interrupted him.

“Yes, I agree that this current situation,” he motioned at Jungkook from head to toe, “you pacing around, absolutely reeking of what appears to be your first real rut, is new. However, there has been something weird between you and him since he showed up. Am I wrong?”

Jungkook sat back down on the couch, his body slouched in defeat as he realized there was no reason to deny anything when it came to Yoongi. He had never been easy to fool and sometimes he wondered why he would even try.

Yoongi had been watching. And Jungkook hadn’t been able to keep his feelings about Taehyung hidden from him.

“Okay. Fine.” Jungkook threw up his arms. “Fine. You’re right.” He dropped his hand into his hands. “I’ve felt crazy since he got here. I still do.”

“What do you think it is? Do you think it’s because he’s so attractive?”

“No.” Jungkook answered far too quickly. “I mean yes, he is attractive. Like ridiculously so. But it’s something else. We communicate without words. It feels like we’re connected in this weird way. I can’t explain it.”

“Try, kid. Just try.” Yoongi’s level of investment in understanding this confused him. But he went ahead and tried.

“Okay. It’s like from the moment he got here. On one hand sometimes I want to beat his ass because it seems like he’s being an ass. But then it’s sort of like with you guys when you’re being asses. Like you’re my brothers. I mean I know that only you, Jimin and Joon are actually blood related brothers, but it feels like we all are brothers, you know? He just feels like one of us sometimes. And so I don’t really hate him even when he pisses me off. It’s like I… I don’t know.”

Yoongi was quiet for a moment and put his fingers to his chin like he was contemplating. “So, his ass, huh?”

Jungkook picked up the pillow and buried his face in it. “Argh! No. I said I want to beat his ass. Not…argh!”

Yoongi laughed warmly and pulled the pillow from Jungkook’s face.

“I’m just giving you a hard time. Come on. Talk to me.” Much to his relief, Yoongi’s face showed he was going to be serious and stop teasing. “In some ways, you feel close to him, like a brother, right? But you’re feeling a way about him that you never felt about anyone before?”

“Yes. That’s exactly it. And I know that he’s going to leave. He’s only here for what another month maybe? And that’s not even taking into account the reality that he is fully human.”

“First of all, we don’t know when he’s leaving. So forget about that. And even when he does leave that doesn’t mean you couldn’t stay in touch. As for the human thing. I get it. I do. Are you forgetting that Hobi isn’t a wolf? He’s just a normal human and we’re together.”

“But Hobi knows about us. Jin says he’s been with the pack since he was little. He’s been raised with you, he understands us. He understands the mountain.”

“I don’t think Taehyung would be freaked out to find out about us.” He put his hand on Jungkook’s knee as he stood up. “And from what I can see, Taehyung understands the mountain.”

Jungkook swallowed hard. Taehyung did know the mountain. He had felt that before, but after reading the article it was indisputable. Taehyung really did get it.

“You’re right. He does. Yoongi, the article. It’s incredible.”

Yoongi nodded. “I suspected it would be. Especially with you helping him.” He started toward the door. “I better head back down.”

“Thanks for the bath salts.”

“No problem. I was wanting to get up here and see how you guys were doing anyway. So it was a good excuse.” He turned back to Jungkook. “And about your situation – “

Jungkook groaned loudly.

“Hear me out, kid. It’s normal. It’s not the end of the world. And you’re both attractive adult guys. So what if you have some feelings. Or maybe even just itches that need scratched. If you’re both cool with that, there isn’t anything wrong with it. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to do the right thing. There often isn’t such a thing anyway. Nature is always smarter than us. And sometimes we just need to have faith in that.”

“Thanks. I’ll think about it. Or maybe I’ll go ask about it.” He held open the door. “I’ve been to the clearing so much since he got here. It’s like Dalmin is always there. I’ve never felt her presence so much. Not only on full moons, but all the time. Everywhere.”

“That’s good.” Yoongi stepped outside. “And that reminds me. January full moon is coming. Wolf moon, you know? Taehyung will at least be here for that.” He raised his eyebrows and laughed as he waded back into the snow and waved goodbye.

Jungkook and Taehyung didn’t talk about the night they spent cuddled up on the floor together.

Neither did they continue to sleep together.

Taehyung went dutifully to the bedroom and didn’t even argue with Jungkook about it. He was relieved that Taehyung seemed just as reluctant as he was to bring it up.

But at night, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. How it felt to lay next to him. How he couldn’t stop looking at him. Couldn’t stop from wanting to touch him and more. But he wouldn’t give in to the urge with Taehyung.  Sleeping solo allowed him to take care of those urges on his own and he did. To the point he was half terrified and consequently half excited to think he could get caught.

He didn’t think Taehyung knew how much every cell in his body burned to be next to him, and how no matter how many times he relieved himself, it never satisfied his real desire. It just took the edge off, and made him a little less cranky during the day.

They spent their days working mostly on the article. At some point the began to research alternatives to using the mountain so they could include that information. Hoping that by giving the Olympic Committee another option than the mountain, they had a better chance of saving it. They discovered that an already existing ski slope would meet the requirements and eagerly inserted it into the piece.

They worked together on photos and illustrations. Sorting through some of the pictures Taehyung had taken, but then Jungkook had several he had taken of the mountain through the years.

Whether working directly together or not, they were always aware of each other in such a small space.

Sometimes Jungkook would do his workout while Taehyung wrote. Sometimes Taehyung would even stop and join him. Shortly after he moved into the cabin, he had found a set of dumbbells and had admitted that he had used them on occasion. Jungkook jumped on that as he loved working out and he loved telling Taehyung how to work out. Much to his surprise, Taehyung complied and it was clear his body was changing.

Sometimes while Taehyung wrote, Jungkook would read a book, fix things around the cabin. He even painted the kitchen cabinets. He was always busy it seemed, but never too busy to help Taehyung.

In spite of spending all their time together, they rarely had a conversation about anything other than the activity they were engaged in.

Jungkook knew he was being sullener and more aggressive than usual, but he felt he didn’t have a choice. He wasn’t angry at Taehyung, but he felt like he was burning with lust. Every move he made, the way he looked.  Every minute of every day Jungkook felt like he had to restrain himself.

What came as a surprise was how sullen and angry Taehyung was. He seemed just as tense and restless. He went to the window often, and Jungkook knew he was looking for him, the black wolf.

A few times, he wanted to tell him, but he changed his mind. Too afraid of what could happen. He told himself they just had to finish the article. That was the priority. It had always been the priority and the whole reason Taehyung had come to the mountain.

And when he couldn’t stand be to next to him one more minute, he would go outside to try to cool his aggression. Joon and Yoongi had even come up to the cabin on the premise of wanting to see the article, when really they were just giving him the chance to shift and spend the afternoon running through the forest.

Until one night, after nearly two weeks of avoiding each other unless they were working, Taehyung was the one to break the tense silence.

He leaned back in his chair and ran the fingers of both his hands through the front of his hair. “I can’t believe this is done.”

“Me neither,” Jungkook agreed from his spot on the couch with the sinking feeling that it wouldn’t be long before Taehyung went back to the city. He had told them that he was going to submit it and wait to hear from the publisher before he packed up his bags and left. If there needed to be any rewrites or revisions, he wanted to still be on the mountain when he did them. Jungkook had been glad to hear that as it meant that there was still no set leave date.

“Even though I get on your nerves, I know you don’t hate me. But I still think you’re going to be relieved when I go back to the city in a month or so.”

Jungkook hated the sound of those words. “I don’t hate you, Taehyung. It’s not like that at all.”

“Yeah, you probably just want your cabin back.”

When Jungkook didn’t respond, Taehyung turned around. “Right?”

He felt like a deer in headlights. Taehyung was looking straight at him with those inquisitive eyes. His face was perfect. It seemed like it had gotten more beautiful every day since the night he arrived. Jungkook couldn’t look away.

“No, no,” he stammered.

“I know I’ve been a pain in your ass. And the whole getting lost in the snow thing was probably the last straw with me.”

Jungkook was stunned. “Why would you think that?”

“Because ever since it happened you’ve been quiet. Angry even. Please tell me you've noticed the tension in the air? I’m not just making that up.”

“Well, you haven’t been exactly what I’d call friendly?”

“I tried.” Taehyung stood up and stretched. “The morning after, actually the whole day after, but by evening I knew you were just done and I’d better just let it go and just get the damn article done and get out of here.”

“See,” Jungkook pointed out eagerly, “you’re the one that’s in a hurry to get out of here and back to the city.”

“Actually, I’m not. Why do you think I’ve stayed this long? I love it up here. The cabin, the mountain. The guys are incredible. The wildlife.”

“You mean the black wolf.”

“Yeah, definitely him. Though I haven’t seen him because I’ve been busy with this article and with you.”

Jungkook made a disappointed face, and then tried to pretend he didn't so Taehyung wouldn’t notice, but it was too late.

“Not that I’m sorry it’s been just you and I up here. When you aren’t being a massive dick you’re a really interesting guy. And I’d have sworn on my life that there was something between us.” His face looked regretful that he’d said that aloud and he followed up quickly with, “and I appreciate all your help and I think we created something great and I very much believe it’s going to change some minds. I've never written anything like this."

“You’re right.” Jungkook suddenly was overwhelmed with a courage he had never had. It was a determination that seemed to have a mind of its own.

“Damn right. I know I’m right. I’ve never been as proud of anything I’ve written as I am of this piece.”

“Yes, that. But not just that.” He didn’t waiver. He couldn’t access the restraint to keep his thoughts to himself.

“Whoa, are you admitting you can be massive dick?” Taehyung started to walk toward the kitchen. “I guess that proves miracles do happen.”

“No. Not that,” he called out. It stopped Taehyung in his tracks and he turned around.

“I mean yes, it is true I can be a massive dick. But what I meant was that you’re right. There is something. And that morning after you got lost in the snow, I just didn’t know how to handle it. And you knew how I felt. Like you literally felt it on your back.” He cringed at the memory. “But I didn’t know what you were thinking and I didn’t want to ask.”

“Well if you’d asked,” Taehyung scoffed, “you would have found out that I didn’t really mind it at all. And when I woke, it was damn near impossible not to roll over and kiss you.” He laughed and shook his head. “And that’s not even the first time.”

The air in the cabin shifted. Jungkook couldn’t stop staring at him as even more desire bubbled up inside.

“Come on Jungkook, surely you realize that you are incredibly hot. Like if you were in the city, people would be chasing you down trying to get with you. The only way I wouldn’t have been attracted to you was if I didn’t have a pulse.”

“That’s just something that…” Jungkook looked down at the floor and stammered. Not out of fear, but because he knew in his soul that something was getting ready to change.

He looked back to Taehyung, meeting his surprised eyes.

“It’s just not something I even know anything about. I go to the city on occasion, but I hate leaving the mountain. I don’t notice if people are looking at me or if they were attracted to me. And I haven’t felt attracted to any of them.”

He stopped for one second. Giving his good sense an opening to jump in and stop him. But it was futile. Something far stronger was calling the shots.  His stomach was twisting and there was no turning back.

“Until now that is.”

“What?” Taehyung walked closer to the back of the couch between them. “So this wasn’t all in my head? This weird tension between us? Because at times I’ve considered the possibility that the mountain air might have made me crazy and delusional.”

“You and me both,” Jungkook mumbled.

“Well this is pretty stupid we’ve suffered through all this tension and fighting for nothing. We could have just went ahead and hooked up a few months ago and probably spared ourselves all this drama.”

“You mean hooked up like – “ Jungkook thought he knew what he was implying but he wanted to be sure.

“Yeah,” Taehyung shrugged like it was nothing. “We’re adults. Haven’t you ever heard of friends with benefits. It’s damn cold on this mountain and I wouldn’t have been opposed to doing something to keep warm. Leave it to you to make your confession when my time up here is almost done.”

Jungkook felt possessed. All the doubt he’d harbored just disappeared and even if he tried, he couldn’t have remembered why he hadn’t acted on his desire months ago. He steadily walked around the couch toward Taehyung without averting his gaze. His feet were moving without his consent. He just had to be closer.

Now it was Taehyung who looked like a deer in headlights. His eyes widened and for a moment it looked like he might run. Jungkook could feel his nervousness coming off him in waves. But they washed right over him undaunted. For as hesitant as Taehyung looked, Jungkook felt equally as confident.

“We could have been getting along this whole time but…” Taehyung stuttered anxiously as his body shifted back a little when Jungkook stood just centimeters away from him.

Jungkook put his hands on both sides of Taehyung’s face. He could feel the tremble, but he didn’t know if it was Taehyung’s cheeks or his own hands. It seemed to be both.

He had no idea exactly what he was doing, but it didn’t stop him. He pressed his lips to Taehyung’s. Intoxicated by the warmth of breath and the alluring scent that was now coming off in waves instead of nervousness.

He parted his lips just enough to push the tip of his tongue against Taehyung’s lips in the effort to see if he tasted as enticing as he smelled.

He was happy to find that not only did he, but it appeared that he was seeking to taste Jungkook’s mouth as well.

And then he heard it, Taehyung’s voice so clear in his mind.

It’s not too late…we still have some time.

Jungkook nodded and kissed him deeper. Amazed at how natural it felt. How easily he fell into kissing Taehyung. He never wanted it to stop.

But the knock on the door changed that.

Jungkook would have just let it go, but Taehyung broke the kiss.

“We better get that.”

Reluctantly he followed Taehyung to the door where upon opening they were greeted with the other five guys holding bottles of champagne.

“Yay!” they yelled in chorus.

Jungkook looked at Taehyung in confusion. He didn’t seem as surprised.

“Taehyung emailed me earlier today and told me you guys would be finished with the article by tonight so we’re here to celebrate!” Joon smiled from ear to ear.

Jin started through the door and toward the kitchen. “We wanted to come up and help you send the article off with good luck. Just to help it along.”

“We were going to wait until the full moon in a few days, but once we heard you were finished, we had to mark the occasion.” Hobi patted Taehyung and then Jungkook on the back. “And the fact that you two did this together without killing each other!”

Jungkook glanced at Taehyung who was looking at him. “Yeah, that is something to celebrate.”

“And hopefully we’ll be able to celebrate again when we find out the mountain won’t be destroyed.” Taehyung’s voice was earnest. Jungkook believe him. And hoped he was right.

 He knew in his heart for certain that Taehyung wanted to save the mountain just as much as the rest of them.

Chapter Text

Since his first one, Taehyung had looked forward to the full moon gatherings every month. With this being the January Wolf Moon, he was looking forward to it even more.

The snow on the ground made the mountain more lovely than usual. It was different on the mountain than it had been in the city. In the city, people rushed through complaining about the cold. The white snow quickly turned to brown slush. Winter had always been an inconvenience to be endured.

But up on the mountain, the snow stayed white. The trees looked like they were lined with lace. As long as the wind wasn’t blowing and it wasn’t snowing too hard, it was enjoyable to be a part of it. But there was a heaviness too. A pensiveness. A time to reflect and slow down.

He thought of his mother a lot.

And for as much as he enjoyed winter on the mountain, there was a sadness that he could feel deep in his bones. But it was a beautiful sadness.

It had only been a few days since they finished the article and sent it off. Only a few days since Jungkook had kissed him. They hadn’t kissed since, but things had been somewhat different, while also still remaining very much the same.

Taehyung didn’t want to be the one to initiate another kiss. He had hoped Jungkook would, but he hadn’t.

Part of the reason he didn’t want to be the one was because he couldn’t be sure it hadn’t been a fluke and Jungkook had changed his mind. And he really didn’t want to face rejection.

But more importantly, from some of the things Jungkook and the others had said and things he himself had observed, Jungkook didn’t have a lot of experience. He couldn’t bring himself to ask if he was his first kiss. But if he was, he didn’t want to force anything. If Jungkook wanted to continue he would be willing for the time that he remained on the mountain.

And that was the third issue. He’d been upfront about the casualness of a friends with benefits fling. He wasn’t sure if Jungkook was clear on how that worked. And he would be heading back to the city before the summer. An unwelcome reality that made him sullen and melancholy whenever he thought about it.

They were hyper aware of each other as they moved around the cabin. When they were in the cabin together. Jungkook did a lot more things outside. And disappeared to the village and tavern several times. Usually, it was because a frozen pipe had burst or someone’s car wouldn’t start.

Passing closely by each other in the kitchen was suddenly very noticeable. He could feel Jungkook before he could even see him.

And there was this way that Jungkook looked at him. It wasn’t menacing or frightening in the traditional sense. He didn’t believe Jungkook would harm him. But it was so direct and so piercing that Taehyung would feel a fluttering of something in his stomach. Jungkook often looked like he was getting ready to pounce on him.

Between Jungkook keeping busy away from the cabin, and Taehyung keeping busy in the cabin, they hadn’t spent much time around each other and the full moon was a chance for that to happen.

Taehyung finished cleaning up in the bathroom and went into the bedroom to put on some clothes. He wanted to look as good as possible. He chose a black t-shirt. Even though he knew it would be covered with a jacket or coat while they were outside. But if they did end up back at the cabin and they stayed up spending time together, he wanted Jungkook to be impressed.

He wasn’t too hopeful. He had been to four full moon bonfires and each time he ended up being the one who left first. The other guys seemed to have endless energy. At some point he would just want to be back in the cabin. But the others continued long after he was gone. Even Jungkook, who never seemed to like the company of too many people for too long would stay.

Of course, this was the first time that they were going to the full moon bonfire since Jungkook had started living back at the cabin. He wondered if Jungkook would come back with him tonight or stay later as he usually did.

“Bathroom is yours,” he announced as he came from the bedroom into the living room.

Jungkook was sitting at the kitchen hunched over some piece of machinery or part. Could have been an engine. Taehyung really wasn’t sure. He was always tinkering with something at the table it seemed. His hair, which had gotten quite a long longer was falling into his eyes and he kept stopping and flipping it with the back of his hand.

Taehyung noticed the elastic laying on the table next to him and without giving it much thought he picked it up and approached Jungkook from behind.

“Did you hear me? I’m out of the bathroom?”

“Yeah, yeah, thank you,” he mumbled. He was totally focused on whatever he was trying to fix. Switching between the screwdriver and the plyers repeatedly.

He flipped his hair back again this time just using his head.

Taehyung gathered the jet-black locks in his hand.

Jungkook raised his head and stopped moving entirely.

He had never touched Jungkook’s hair before, but it was so soft. He twisted the curls and waves around his fingers. “I don’t know why you keep flipping your hair back. There’s an elastic right here on the table.”

He had already gathered the top half into a ponytail shape before he even asked. “Do you mind if I pull this back and put it up for you.”

“No. I don’t care.” Jungkook’s voice was shaking and it spurred him on to know that he had gotten to him in some way.

Taehyung continued to play with it. Smoothing the sides and running his fingers through the scalp. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look so good with long hair,” he mused like it was simply to himself.

He took his palm and put it on the back of Jungkook’s neck as he scooped up the hair there like he might put all of it back in an elastic. Jungkook’s skin was warm and trembling.

“Well, are you going to put the elastic on it or are we going to play beauty shop all night?” He could tell that Jungkook tried to make it sound sharp and critical, but it didn’t at all. There was a quiver there as he shifted in his seat.

“Okay, okay,” Taehyung chuckled, very pleased with himself, as he pulled the top half of the hair back and wound the elastic around it. “I’ll let you finish your project so you can go get ready. The guys are probably already waiting so we need to go.”

Before he even got completely turned and one step toward the counter, Jungkook busted up and out of his seat leaving his project in pieces on the table. “I’m going now,” he grumbled as he sprinted to the bathroom and slammed the door.

Taehyung grabbed a glass and filled it with water. Standing by the sink he sipped it and tried to stop thinking about Jungkook’s hair, touching him, kissing him, so that he could calm himself down.

Taehyung waited, but Jungkook had been in the bathroom a long time. Much longer than usual. And it was usually pretty long.

Taehyung waited as long as he could and then knocked on the door. “Hey, you want me to wait on you? Or just go ahead?”

Jungkook’s voice came out rushed with no hesitation.

“Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Tell the guys I’ll be there in a minute.”

Taehyung put on his boots and Jungkook’s lined denim jacket. It was crazy to him the way that just a few days ago there had been a full fledge blizzard and now the mountain was just peaceful and calm. The temperatures had risen by several degrees and the sun had been out. It was still most certainly winter cold, but much of the snow had melted just leaving some larger piles and a thinly layered patches on the ground. And they would be around the fire, which meant there would be some warmth there.

And the honest truth was, he didn’t feel like he looked as good in his large winter coat as he did in Jungkook's jacket. The denim jacket was fitted just enough that he could be seen instead of swallowed up in the heavy coat. And if he and Jungkook were going to be around each other all night, he wanted to look at desirable as possible in the hope that tonight something might happen. It was worth being a little cold if he could end the night kissing Jungkook. 

Stepping out into the winter night, the snow was like nothing he had ever seen. The moon was so bright that he could see everything. All the trees. And all the snow which was sparkling like diamonds from the moonlight.

The sky was perfectly clear and full of stars and the deepest, richest navy blue he had ever seen.

He exhaled and watched his clouded breath float away. He sort of regretted not grabbing gloves, but he had caught Jungkook staring at his hands over the past few days and he had gotten the feeling that he liked them. He raised them to his mouth and blew his next breath into them before shoving them in his pockets.

He could smell the smoke from the bonfire and even though he couldn’t see them clearly through the trees, he could make out the glow of the flames dancing with the trees. He knew the guys were already there in the not too far distance.

As he neared, he could hear their smoke mingled voices rising into the air. When he got in earshot, he was able to pick up on some of it as he walked into the clearing towards the log he usually sat on.

“I’ve already thought of that, Jin.” Yoongi’s deep voice was unmistakable. “Most definitely not an Omega.”

“And if he was Beta,” Namjoon added, “I think you and I would have sensed it.”

“He might be nothing. Nothing might happen. But If he’s an Alpha…” Jin’s usual lighthearted voice was serious and worried. “This could all blow up. We might need to -.” 

“Who?” Taehyung asked as he entered the circle and sat down on the rock.

Everyone looked up at him.

“Not who. What.” Yoongi looked upwards. “We were talking about the stars.”

“Ah,” Taehyung nodded. He could have sworn they were talking about a person, but he also had been having a ringing in his ears since the blizzard and he couldn't be totally sure. “I never paid attention in astronomy, but they are beautiful tonight.”

Immediately Jimin jumped to his feet before he could even get halfway through his sentence. “Damn Taehyung! What’s with the new body?”

Taehyung blushed as he sat down. “I’ve bulked up a little. There isn’t much to do in the cabin but write and workout.”

“Seriously,” Namjoon took a large swig and swallowed hard. “Even when you were working out at the gym regularly in the city your shoulders were never that broad.”

“You think my shoulders are broad? You ought to see my biceps. I have a few shirts that are too tight now.” He stood up and pulled one arm out of the jacket showing his bicep.

Jimin motioned to him. “Get over here, I don’t believe you’ve built that much muscle so quick. Maybe Jin’s cooking is just packing on a few extra pounds.”

“No, I’ve probably gained a few but this is muscle.” He went to Jimin and let him feel his bicep.

“Holy hell,” he scoffed, “that’s muscle alright.”

Namjoon and Hobi both said they wanted to check for themselves and Taehyung, being proud of his body, didn’t mind. Everyone was laughing and teasing until a growl caused them all to freeze.

“Alright who growled?” Taehyung laughed as he put his arm back into the jacket. “I’m not that ripped yet!” No one moved or said a word.

“Oh!” Jimin suddenly exclaimed. “You don’t have a beer yet!” He hurriedly handed one to Taehyung as he sat back down on the log.

“Oh. Uh. Okay.” He took the beer from Jimin. The last thing he wanted was to hold something that was extra cold, but he didn’t argue. It seemed like everyone else had resumed talking.

Hobi’s voice rang out above the rest. “Everyone, everyone,” he raised his bottle into the air. “I think we should propose a toast to – “

Interrupting him, Jungkook emerged from the trees. “Toasting without me?”

Taehyung felt silly the way his stomach flipped when he saw Jungkook and heard his voice.

Jungkook didn’t hesitate as he took the beer from Yoongi and headed straight for Taehyung. Never looking away. He sat on the log next to him. Right next him. With literally no space between their legs wedged up against each other. Taehyung didn’t shift to make more room. There was plenty on the log for two people and Jungkook had essentially sat in the middle.

“Hey,” he mumbled.

Taehyung’s nerves were racing. Jungkook hadn’t done anything in particular to look especially good. In fact, he was in some joggers and a hoody that Taehyung had seen him in a ton of times. Clearly, he wasn’t primping in the bathroom. But he looked incredible all the same. And his driftwood scent with not even a drop of cologne on, was mesmerizing.

“Hey,” was all he could manage as he took a drink of his beer.

“No way we were going to toast without you!” Hobi snickered like it was obvious. “I heard you coming. We weren’t going to toast until you got here.”

“That’s true,” Jimin added. “You guys did this together. You both deserve the credit.”

“Nah,” Jungkook scowled and shook his head dismissively as he elbowed Taehyung in the ribs. “He’s the writer. It’s his name on the page.”

Taehyung was mid drink. He lowered his bottle from his lips and gulped down the swig he had just taken. “Not true. I put your name as a contributor to the feature.”

Jungkook flipped his head around to look at him, but it was too close and Taehyung pulled his face back a little suddenly aware of the possibility that he could be angry.

But he wasn’t. His face was direct, but soft.  “You didn’t?”

Taehyung nodded and relaxed. “Yeah. I couldn’t have written that alone.”

“Well, see,” Jin said brightly. “Hobi and Jimin were right. Commence with the toast, gentleman.”

The other guys laughed, but Taehyung was too preoccupied with trying to read Jungkook’s reaction.

Hobi lifted his bottle and the others followed suit as both Taehyung and Jungkook just stared at them blankly. “To Jungkook and Taehyung who have saved the mountain.”

They all cheered in unison.

“We don’t know that yet,” Taehyung said quickly. “I don’t want you guys to be disappointed.”

“I’m telling you, from what I read and from what my firm is preparing,” Namjoon said confidently, “I think we have an excellent shot. Adding the proposal of an alternative site was genius.”

“Who came up with that?” Jimin asked.

“Eh, eh, eh,” Yoongi scrunched his face and waved his hand, speaking up before either could answer. “Look at them. They’re in agreement they did it together and they aren’t competing with each other for once. Of course, they both came up with it.”

Taehyung didn’t argue as it was true. And while he did like to show off to and around Jungkook, he wasn’t in the mood for that tonight at all.

He could feel Jungkook’s breath on the side of his face they were sitting that close. And he was having trouble of thinking of anything except for their proximity to each other. He swore he could feel Jungkook’s heartbeat through their joined thighs.

As the conversations started up again, Taehyung couldn’t focus enough to contribute. He was far too aware of each and every breath Jungkook was taking.

And then Jungkook spoke to him. Leaning far too close into his ear. Almost a whisper. “Don’t drink that. That’s the crap Jimin drinks. This is better.” He tilted his bottle towards Taehyung. “Here try it.”

Taehyung took the bottle, almost certain that Jungkook deliberately grazed his fingers when he did. He put the bottle to his lips and tipped his head back. Out of his peripheral vision he could see Jungkook watching. It made it hard to swallow.

“Better, right?”

Taehyung nodded as he handed back the bottle and then wiped his lip with the knuckle of his index finger.  “Yeah, but I just violated club rule number one.”

Jungkook took a swig. “What?” he leaned in so close. His lips were glistening from the drink of beer. Taehyung held back the urge to touch them. They had been so much softer than he had expected when they kissed. He hoped they would get the chance again.

“In a club, you know” he explained, “you’re never supposed to take a drink of anything that someone offers you.”

Jungkook frowned in confusion.

“You know, someone could give you something that knocks you out.”

Jungkook still frowned. But it was in such a comically confused way, Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Never mind, it’s just a city thing.”

They were both quiet for a moment as the conversations circled around them.

“Do you do that a lot?”

“What?”

“Go out. To clubs. Places where men offer you drinks.”

Three months ago, Taehyung would have lied. Spun some fabulous yarn about his crazy nights out in nightclubs and bars. His conquests. Never being outright vulgar, but making himself sound like something he was not.

But there didn’t seem to be a need to. “I think you can tell by now, I’m pretty much a homebody. I write. I read. Take walks.”

“That’s just up here,” Jungkook countered.

“Well, yeah. But even in the city. Even in other cities.”

“Do you miss the city? Other cities? That life?”

Taehyung was surprised by the question, but more surprised when the answer came without hesitation. “No. I don’t. Not at all.”

Jungkook appeared to be done interrogating. He sat back a little so that he wasn’t right up in Taehyung’s space as he had been. But he was still so close. And Taehyung could feel something building up in side of him. Between them.

His eyes wandered around the circle. He wondered if any of the other guys could tell that something had changed between them.

And when did it change? Maybe it had been changing all along. A few days ago, when Jungkook admitted his attraction, it didn’t completely take him by surprise. But he never thought he would hear him admit it, even though he had sensed it all along. Almost from the first few days.

What made Jungkook decide to confess as matter-of-factly as he did? What made him do it now?

Sharing cabin and completing the article together had changed things between them.

But something else had shifted. And it had happened the night that Jungkook probably saved his life and at the very least his limbs.

He looked to his left where Jungkook sat so close to him. He was looking into the fire. Seemingly so mesmerized by it that he didn’t notice Taehyung staring at him.

The longer he watched him, the more he could sense that Jungkook wasn’t just zoning out. On the contrary there was something behind his eyes. The reflection of the flames dancing in his large brown orbs made Taehyung notice that as large he always thought they were, they were in reality even larger.

He felt a wave of pain and suffering that he knew immediately wasn’t his own. It was Jungkook’s. He wanted to know what he was thinking of that hurt him so much.

He wanted it to stop. But he wasn’t sure what to do.

Wordlessly he shifted his body to knock against his shoulder. Jungkook noticed and looked towards him.

Their eyes locked. Taehyung mouthed subtly, “you okay?”

Are you cold? I’m cold.

Taehyung wasn’t. There was a winter chill in the air, but sitting by the fire he was warm enough. And sitting by Jungkook he was even warmer.

But he didn’t get the chance to answer.

Jungkook was already standing and starting to walk away from the fire.

Taehyung wasn’t the only one who noticed.

“Where you headed?” Jimin called out.

Jungkook turned partially to answer, but his eyes never made it past Taehyung. “To grab another beer,” he said to Jimin, even though he wasn’t looking at him.

If Jimin answered, Taehyung wouldn’t have known. All his senses were focused on Jungkook who was staring directly at him.

I’ll be near the clearing at the waterfall. Come to me

As Jungkook walked away, he quickly glanced around the circle. No one seemed to notice. Jimin had resumed his conversation with Yoongi and the others were laughing about something.

He waited for a few minutes, not wanting to be completely obvious that he was following Jungkook as he’d been told. And then it occurred to him. Jungkook told him, not asked him, to follow.

He bristled at the thought. He wasn’t in the habit of doing what Jungkook asked, let alone anything that he outright told him to do.

But he had said he was cold and then walked away from the fire. And the way he looked at the fire. And the emotions Taehyung had felt coming off him.  The curious part of his brain overrode the defiant part and he took another quick look around the circle to see any was watching before he stood, turned, and disappeared between the trees.

He hoped he could remember the way to the waterfall and the clearing in the dark. He could easily do it during the day, provided there wasn’t a blizzard, but at night everything always looked different. The full moon helped to light his way. His feet crunched on the crisp sparkling snow under his feet. It looked blue in the moonlight.

And at the same time, he experienced a confidence he was unfamiliar with. Had it been a pitch-black night, he very well still might have been able to find Jungkook just by his senses alone. And then there was his honey gingered scent. He had never smelled anything like it until he came to the mountain. Down in the village he smelled with when Jungkook was around, but amidst the trees he could catch the scent in varying degrees at different times. But it always told him the same thing. Jungkook was near.

With the light from the full moon, it didn’t take long for him to spot the waterfall. And Jungkook just ahead leaning up against a tree in the shadows.

At first, he couldn’t tell if Jungkook was facing the waterfall or him. But the closer he got, the features on his face began to appear. He was waiting for him.

“I thought you said you were cold? Why the hell did you come out here?” Taehyung slowly walked closer. “You should have stayed by the fire where it’s warm!” He wrapped his arms around himself and rubbed his biceps.

Jungkook’s face glowed with the moonlight as he took a step towards Taehyung.

For a moment he almost looked angry. Taehyung stopped just about a meter in front of him. Not afraid, but suddenly very alert.

Jungkook took a large step toward him until their faces were just centimeters apart. “Why didn’t you stay by the fire if it was so warm?” It sounded like a playful taunt.

“You told me to meet you out here.”

“And you did exactly as I told you.”

It was absolutely a taunt. “Yeah, and now I’m going back to get warm.” He turned to walk away. He didn’t plan it. He had been dying for Jungkook to kiss him again and this was most likely his chance. But Jungkook being so cocky and self-assured and flaunting it made him want to deny him whatever he dragged Taehyung out here for. At the very least he wanted to make him work for whatever it was he wanted.

He didn’t even make it one step before Jungkook had his hands on his hips and pulled him back abruptly.

Taehyung didn’t resist.

Jungkook’s breath was warm against his ear. “You said this could make us warm.” He pulled Taehyung back sharply into him. Even through his jeans, he could feel Jungkook was getting hard.

With what he hoped was not too shaky of a voice, Taehyung tried to tease back. “Eh, I’ve got this nice jacket of yours on, so between that and the fire I’m plenty warm.”

“It is a nice jacket. It looks nice on you. And it needs to stay on you.”

Taehyung wasn’t sure what he was referring to. He gave a nervous chuckle and started to pull away, but Jungkook’s grip was solid.

His voice was in his ear again. “You don’t need to show your new muscles to anyone else but me.”

Taehyung turned quickly. Jungkook loosened his grip to allow it.

He put his face directly in Jungkook’s with his chin jutted out. If Jungkook was challenging him, he wasn’t going to back down. “Is that so? Well maybe I’ll show you my muscles. Maybe I’ll just throw you up against that tree and kiss the fuck out of you.”

The flash in Jungkook’s eyes was alarming. As was the speed with which he had Taehyung’s back up against the tree. His stare was predatory.

Taehyung was surprised and then confused. He thought he was going to get kissed, but instead Jungkook leaned his head forward and to the side of his face. His nose trailed along his cheek, then below his ear. When he moved to his jawline and neck, Taehyung drew in a breath.

He closed his eyes and let his head fall back. His fingers gripping Jungkook’s biceps. His knees wanted to buckle and he willed them to stay steady.

“Ahh…” he gasped in surprise.

Jungkook whispered in his ear, “let me touch you again.” He ran both hands down his sides, under his jacket and untucked both side of his t-shirt at the same time. His fingers dug into his bare flesh. “I want to touch your skin.”

Taehyung gasped again. Not because his hands were cold. On the contrary, they were incredibly warm in spite of the chilly temperature outside. But because it was so direct and so simple. They had laid skin to skin the night he got lost in the blizzard. It seemed like Jungkook couldn’t wait to touch him again.

The scent of ginger that permeated his nose, the warm hands on his waist, and wet lips on his neck were arousing him to an extent he had never felt before. But as good as it was, he couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted to kiss Jungkook properly.

He turned his head and nosed at Jungkook’s cheek to get his attention. Stroking up and down against his skin and kissing there until Jungkook finally lifted his head. His kisses intensified as he found Taehyung’s open waiting lips.

Their first kiss a few days ago was incredible, but this one was mind blowing. Jungkook’s fingers dug into the bare skin on his waist.

He wasn’t sure how far they could go out here in the woods, but he was willing to wait and see. The other guys weren’t that far away and at some point, they would have to go back.

Jungkook kissed him with so much raw passion, like he had never been kissed before. He did his best to keep up, totally overwhelmed with the desire to get his own hands onto Jungkook’s skin. He had no idea how long they were kissing, but it felt endless.

As Jungkook’s open lips began to move down his right cheek and toward his neck again, he groaned, “Jungkook.”

He was confident their lips would eventually find their way back to each other, and in the meantime having Jungkook wetly kissing his neck and throat was causing a type of arousal in him that he was unfamiliar with.

A cloud drifted over the moon and Taehyung shuddered. 

And then Jungkook did something totally unexpected. He had felt the graze of his teeth a few times which he assumed was accidental. But this was intentional and not a graze.

“Oh my god,” Taehyung panted, “did you just bite me?”

Jungkook kissed up his neck again and met his lips, giving a quick apology. “Sorry,” he whispered into Taehyung’s mouth and resumed kissing him, but Taehyung was stunned and extremely turned on.

“No, don’t say sorry,” he breathed out between Jungkook’s assault of kisses. “I like it. Do it again, please.”

Jungkook stopped kissing immediately and pulled his head back. His eyes were wild and glistening, Taehyung had never seen him look more handsome, nor more out of control.

“Fuck,” he hissed, “come on.” He removed fingers from Taehyung’s bare skin and grabbed his hand. Before Taehyung could even ask, he felt himself being pulled as they nearly sprinted through the trees. Had they not been holding hands, he surely wouldn’t have been able to keep up.

“Where are we going?” Taehyung whispered as they hurried. But as he saw the cabin come into view, he realized he didn’t need to ask. They hadn’t said goodnight to any of the guys. They had just disappeared.

Jungkook had them in the cabin with the door shut and locked before Taehyung could catch his breath.  He ripped off his jacket and kicked off his boots. Taehyung did the same although a little more slowly as the wasn’t sure they were done at the fire.

“What about the guys? We didn’t say were leav – “

Jungkook’s lips cut him off as he pushed him up against the door. He held his face and alternated between deeply kissing his mouth and then pecking over his cold red cheeks. Jungkook seemed completely unaffected by the cold. He was like a source of heat in himself and the more he touched Taehyung, he quicker he warmed up.

If Jungkook wasn’t going to worry about leaving the guys without a word, neither was he. He gave himself over fully to what he had been daydreaming of and wrapped both arms tightly around him and pulling their bodies flush against each other.

Kissing Jungkook was surreal. It wasn’t unlike the way he felt the day he got lost in the snow. Panicked and desperate, striving for something except in this case, he wasn’t totally sure what it was.

There had been other hook ups in his life. But he’d never had a relationship. Hadn’t really wanted one. And even hooking up had never been like this.

He wasn’t sure what experience Jungkook had, outside of the fact that it was probably limited. But the intensity of their desire for each other made it feel like there had never been anyone else for either one of them, nor would there every be.

Jungkook pressed his body up against his. Taehyung’s knees softened and bent when he felt the bulge in Jungkook’s jeans smashed up against his own. He wanted to do something, anything, to get some friction. His knees straightened again as he reached both arms around Jungkook and grabbed his ass. Digging his fingers into the denim and pulling and holding him so that he could rub his growing erection against Jungkook’s.

The effect was immediate.

Jungkook gasped between kisses. “I want…” His voice sounded pained. “I want…”

“What do you want, baby” Taehyung hissed into his mouth. “Tell me. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Jungkook’s answer came in the form of a whine that went straight to Taehyung’s dick and emboldened him in a way he hadn’t felt since they met.

He gripped his ass even tighter as he traded places and flipped Jungkook around and pressed his back against the door. His heaving breath and wide eyes let Taehyung know that Jungkook hadn’t expected the show of strength. But he didn’t resist.

Pressed up against the door he let Taehyung take the lead. Closing his eyes when their lips crashed together again.

Taehyung moved his hands from his ass around to the front and unbuttoned his jeans never breaking the kiss. Jungkook’s knee buckled and he moaned into his mouth. That was all the permission Taehyung needed to unzip his jeans. He dipped his fingers under the band of his underwear and pushed them down with the jeans just low enough that his cock sprang free.

Jungkook’s head pressed back and his mouth fell open. Taehyung continued to kiss and suck over his lips as he wrapped his hands around his length. He was even harder than he had imagined and the precum dripping from the head provided just enough lube give one stroke down and a long, tightening stroke back up to the head.

He watched Jungkook’s face twist as he panted and rolled his head from side to side.

“Tae,” he muttered in what almost sounded like a cry, “Tae.”

“Shh,” he whispered into his mouth as he stroked up and down. “Let go. Let yourself go.”

Taehyung used his body and his left hand to keep Jungkook braced up against the door. He knew if he moved away even a centimeter, Jungkook would likely fall to the floor.

His cock was pressed between their bodies as Taehyung continued to stroke him. Watching his breath and his reaction to determine when to go faster. Squeezing a little tighter when he moaned his name.

When he felt he was close to coming, he increased his pace and kissed into his mouth wetly. “Come on, Jungkook. Come for me. Come all over me.”

His body jerked harshly into Taehyung and back against the door as he spilled white ropes between them onto both their black shirts.

He continued to brace against Jungkook, holding him up until he seemed to get his footing back. Taehyung slowed down to gentle kisses. But when Jungkook caught his breath he kissed him back fiercely, grabbing the sides of his face with both his hands.

Taehyung hadn’t thought any further than getting Jungkook off. So, he was taken back when he used his body to force Taehyung backwards, all the while kissing him, towards the couch.

Jungkook pushed him down and stood in front of him. Taehyung watched as he first took his shirt off and then pushed down his pants and underwear and stepped out of them. He was totally hard again.

Taehyung undid his own jeans and started to unzip them. He apparently wasn’t doing it fast enough for Jungkook who grabbed his jeans at the ankles and ripped them off. As Taehyung struggled to pull his shirt over his head without getting semen all over himself, Jungkook took it upon himself to pull of his boxer briefs.

As soon as he was totally naked, Jungkook was on him. Kissing him even more fervently than before. Taehyung put his hands on his slender waist and pulled him down, but to the side. He put his weight against Jungkook’s torso and tried to get on top of him. He would get so close, until Jungkook would push him back so that he was on top.

After a few frustrating backs and forths it became obvious neither was going to allow the other to get the upper hand, they settled face to face, each with one knee bent overlapping the others along crease of the couch and their other legs tangled up together. They pulled at each other, hands roaming across the bare skin.

Jungkook went after Taehyung’s neck as he had been all night nipping and running his teeth along his skin, and he willingly tilted his head back to give him full exposure. His eyes fluttered open and he caught their shadows in the corner of the room, realizing that while there were no lights on, the fire was aglow and he was pretty sure the curtains were open.

It was a fleeting thought that he dismissed when he felt Jungkook’s wet hand around his cock.

Finally.

“Oh fuck,” he rutted into his fist putting his hands on Jungkooks shoulders. “Fuck, Jeongguk.”

He had to touch him again.

The kissing ceased and straightened his head up to see that Jungkook was intently watching his fist stroking the length of Taehyung’s cock.

Just being touched had almost tipped him over the edge, but seeing Jungkook so engrossed in watching him, made it nearly impossible to keep from coming.

He spit into his hand and put it around Jungkook’s cock. Scooting closer until their heads were flush up again each other. The feeling of Jungkook’s leaking head pressed up against his own was enough to make him come, but he was determined to make this last as long as he could.

He leaned his forehead onto Jungkook’s shoulder as he continued to pump his dick. He looked down at their red, leaking cockheads dancing over and around each other.

He knew Jungkook was still watching. He could feel his hot breath and hear his panting.

They both began to move their hands faster. His mouth found the side of Jungkook’s neck, sucking and licking. And when Jungkook let go a loud groan and he saw his semen spilling over their heads and down into their dicks and their hands he couldn’t hold back anymore. and he let himself go. Thrusting into Jungkook’s fist with several loud grunts.

He raised his head and sat up. Sticky white semen seemed to be everywhere. Reaching behind him on the couch he grabbed his shirt and wiped his hands. He then proceeded to wipe Jungkook’s and as best as he could, all the cum from their dicks and on top of their legs.

Jungkook didn’t say anything. Just continued to watch Taehyung clean them up.

Without raising his face, Taehyung looked up out of the top of his eyes. “You alright?”

Jungkook looked dazed. Stunned even. He nodded.

Taehyung tossed the shirt to the floor figuring he’d probably have to clean semen off the rug tomorrow. When he raised his face back up, Jungkook lunged forward and caught his lips in a sensuous, passionate kiss.

It was gentler than before, but still intense.

As the kiss ended, Taehyung smirked. “Well, what do you want to do now?” He assumed the other guys were probably close to calling it a night. And anyway, there was no possible way they could go back to the fire. The guys would be able to tell what they had done. Or at least be able to guess.

Without hesitation, Jungkook answered breathlessly as he poured kissed into Taehyung mouth.

 “Again, I want to do it again.”

Telling Jungkook no had seemed like an impossibility and he truly didn’t want to anyway. They continued to kiss and touch.  Running their hands over every inch of each other’s bodies until the fire began to wane. There was a mutual fascination they shared at watching each other. They way they each touched themselves and the way they touched each other. Taehyung came one more time and Jungkook two although he probably would have tried for a third had it not started to get unbearably cold.

As exhausted as his body was, there was a part of Taehyung that didn’t want to stop if for no other reason than he wasn’t sure what was going to happen once the night was over. Would they go their separate ways? When they woke would they talk about it or act like it didn’t happen. Would they do it again?

Jungkook pulled his jeans back on and stepped outside shoeless and shirtless into the snow to get more wood for the fire.

Taehyung grabbed his jeans from the floor and started to put them on. Jungkook looked at him as he headed to the hearth.

“No,” he said simply and shook his head as he started to arrange the wood on the fire.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Taehyung laughed. “I’m freezing my ass off.”

Jungkook tossed him the blanket from the chair. “You’ll get warm in a minute.”

Taehyung unfolded it and pulled it over his naked body. They had been at it all night. Surely Jungkook wasn’t planning on continuing.

He was somewhat relieved when Jungkook joined him on the couch with his jeans still on.

It was hard not to look at him. His bare chest showcased an array of muscles that Taehyung had only imagined were underneath his shirts. His jeans hung loose on his tiny waist and were dropped low enough that he could see his v-line when he stood.

He put his muscular arm across the back of the couch.

“You want to go to bed now?”

Taehyung wasn’t sure how to answer. If he said yes, would he have to go into the bedroom alone. Or would Jungkook come with him.  A wave of awkwardness began to rise, but Jungkook seemed unfazed.

“I guess I’m starting to get pretty tired,” he admitted.

Jungkook slapped his hands to his knees and stood up. Taehyung watched as he unrolled the shiikiton from the corner and laid it out on the floor. He pulled the rest of the blankets and pillows from the chair and piled them in the center.

Then much to Taehyung’s surprise he began to look like he was arranging them. Around the edge, up against the wall. He took a good amount of time, putting everything where he wanted it before he stood again and turned to Taehyung.

He held out his hand. “You’ll be warmer in here tonight. I let the fire go so low the bedroom will be too chilly.”

Taehyung tentatively took his hand and allowed himself to be pulled up. He kept the blanket wrapped around him.

Jungkook led him to the mattress and then let go of his hand. Taehyung bent down and lifted some of the blankets, burrowing his naked body under them. Laying on his back he pulled the covers up to his neck. It really was warmer.

Jungkook loomed above him for another moment. The eye contact between them never breaking. Taehyung wanted to look away, but he couldn’t.

Until he heard the sound of the zipper. He looked down from Jungkook’s face to see that he was taking off his jeans.

He tried not to stare, but it was difficult. Jungkook tossed his jeans aside and knelt down to the mattress, pulling the blankets up and sliding under them next to Taehyung. He then laid on his back and bent his elbows resting his head on his hands behind him.

“Never done that before,” he clicked his tongue.

It was so unexpected. So honest. In his nervousness, Taehyung released a small noise like a laugh.

“What?” Jungkook’s voice was defensive and Taehyung realized he might have thought he was laughing at him.

“Nothing. Sorry. It just wasn’t what I was expecting you to say. Actually, I’m not sure what I was expecting you to say.”

“Have you?”

“What? Done that?” Taehyung’s defenses were too hard for him to reach and the honestly spilled out of his mouth. “No. I mean I’ve messed around before, but it’s never been like that. Nothing’s ever been like that.”

He could tell it was the right answer when he saw Jungkook’s chest swell. But it also made him feel too vulnerable. He didn’t know exactly what Jungkook wanted if anything at all. And his silence and the distance between their bodies, even though it was just a few centimeters, was unnerving.

And at the same time, he wasn’t sure what this would change and if he wanted anything to change. Hs fingers played nervously with the edge of the blanket.

“Hey,” he broke the silence. “This doesn’t have to be something big. It doesn’t have to be anything at all. Just friends helping each other out.”

“What do you mean?” He couldn’t read the tone in Jungkook’s voice.

“I’m just saying, I know you’re kind of a loner and I am too. And you live here and I live in the city. It’s like I said before. We’re friends. And we happen to have had a mutual need and we met it.”

Jungkook’s voice was sharp, but still unreadable. “Oh, so we’re friends? I thought you said that your only friend up here was the wolf?”

“I did make friends with the wolf,” Taehyung admitted. “I probably wouldn’t have gotten one decent night’s sleep up here without his howling every night. Up until recently, I totally depended on it every night.”

“And now?”

“I don’t need it anymore now that I’m used to the mountain at night.”

Jungkook made a noise like a “humph.” Taehyung looked over to see he had closed his eyes.  For a moment he considered waking him up. The conversation wasn’t over. He even tried to clear his head and strain to listen hopeful that Jungkook would say something even if it wasn’t aloud.

But the only noise coming from Jungkook was his breathing. The rise and fall of his chest. And what Taehyung swore had to be the beat of his heart.

It was soothing in its own way. And he settled deeper into the pillow knowing that sleep was near. He’d just have to talk to Jungkook another time. Or maybe he wouldn’t. He would be back in the city soon, and all of this, including him, would be just a memory. He hadn’t really ever given himself over to another person. Whether in a relationship or even just with his friends. There wasn’t any reason to start now.

Thump…thump…. He felt his own chest. It wasn’t his heart. His was still racing. It had to be Jungkook’s but it was so loud.

His eyes were heavy, but he could still see the light from the full moon as it lowered in the western sky that shone into the cabin.

Several howls rose in the distance. He could tell that none of them were the black wolf. That would have concerned him any other night. But as sleep overtook him, he realized there was no reason for concern.

Thump…thump…. thump…. thump

He could feel the black wolf was near. He drifted off, certain that wherever he was, he was alright.

Chapter Text

Jungkook was up before dawn. He hadn’t slept much. Only for a few hours. He had closed his eyes to discourage Taehyung from making more conversation, but the truth was he didn’t fall asleep until much later. He could feel Taehyung getting sleepier by the minute. He focused on his own beating heart, slowing it until it was just enough of a rhythmic pulse to lull him fully to sleep.

It definitely wasn’t that he wouldn’t have stayed up all night with him, but every time Taehyung mentioned the black wolf, Jungkook found himself wanting to end the conversation. He wasn’t exactly jealous of how much Taehyung was fond of the black wolf. As that would be ridiculous. At least that is what he told himself when the initial twinge of jealousy would hit.

But he mostly felt nervous. Something in his gut made him think that Taehyung might suspect. And whereas before he had been open to revealing that part of himself, now he was reluctant. He hadn’t expected to enter a relationship with him. He could imagine that Taehyung would be surprised to find out about the pack, but his curiosity would prevail and he would likely be fine with it.

However, now they were doing whatever it was they were doing together. He might not feel as curious. He might be weirded out. Being in the presence of a wolf pack wouldn’t be the same as being with a member of the pack. In particular, the Alpha.

He had laid next to him in the moonlight and thought about the events of the evening. Wondering if what he was feeling was normal. And worried that Taehyung didn’t feel the same.

He donned the jacket Taehyung had been wearing the night before. It smelled like him. He curled into it relishing concentrated amaretto scent and took a quick look behind him to where he still sleeping soundly before stepping onto the porch.

You did this, didn’t you? He half-jokingly said to the moon that loomed large between the trees right above the horizon.

He had never felt so in control and yet so out of control simultaneously. Every cell of his body craved Taehyung last night. It felt like a madness now.

Not that he didn’t still want him. He did. But it was different than last night. Last night he wanted to consume him body and soul. The desire to touch was so demanding. He felt like he was going to go crazy when he wasn’t touching him, but then felt almost crazier when he did.

This morning, he wanted to touch. But this time he wanted to take him into his arms. Stroke his cheeks. Kiss him gently on the lips.

To just lay next to him and listen to the beat of his heart.

It had been excruciating to pull himself from the mattress, but he was restless and he needed to be outside and clear his head. And he wanted to shift.

Since he had moved back into his cabin, he had been able to sneak away while Taehyung was working to shift and run. This morning, he very much wanted to while he slept.

The moon was just ready to drop below the west horizon but the sun hadn’t quite come up in the east. It was that quiet part of the day that he loved.

The snow and trees looked surreal with the blue of the predawn light.

As he descended the porch - he saw it.

On the sunny, southwest side of the cabin there was a plum tree that hadn’t blossomed for years. Jungkook had often thought he would just cut it down and plant another, but being ever hopeful that it would eventually bloom, he hadn’t done it yet.

And he was glad he hadn’t.

On a few of the lower branches were some small, red plum blossoms.

It surprised him so much that he did a double take. There were plum trees down in the village. Their blossoms were always the first of the year, blooming well before the first flowers of spring. But this particular tree had seemed to be totally done blooming.

His mind immediately went to Taehyung. Something about the red flowers. It hadn’t begun to bloom on other parts of the tree, and Jungkook made a mental note to take a cutting later today and see if he could propagate it.

But at that exact moment, he looked at the red flowers and then towards the cabin with only one thought.

He took his pocket knife out of the jacket pocket and stood up on his tiptoes to cut a small branch that was in bloom. He started to put it in his pocket. Convinced that he would be brave enough when he came back to take it to the house for Taehyung.

But it was long and awkward and wouldn’t fit. And he couldn’t take it with him as he wanted to shift and run. He didn’t want to lose out amidst the trees.

There were a few snow drifts still piled up near the front of the cabin. He laid the branch on top of one of the larger ones. He assumed Taehyung would sleep for a while longer and when he returned from his walk, he would take it in the house and put it in some water. Hoping that Taehyung would realize it was for him even if he didn’t give it to him directly.

Doubt crept into his mind.

He wondered what had happened to the boldness that he felt last night. He wasn’t afraid. Just hesitant. The things Taehyung had said last night made him think that what happened was just a temporary or even a one-time thing. He talked about what had happened like it was casual. And as much as Jungkook hated it, he had to accept the possibility that it was for Taehyung even if it wasn’t for him.

Maybe it would be better if it was just a one-time thing.

He told himself it was just as well. He didn’t need to get swept up in emotions. He needed to focus on the village, the mountain, the people who depended on him.

But it was a tug he couldn’t ignore. All those things were more manageable with Taehyung. He had slid so easily into life on the mountain, that it seemed like he had always been there.

The mountain felt whole to him for the first time in his memory. He felt whole for the first time in his memory.

He pulled off the denim jacket shirt and pants and tossed them on the chair on the porch as he would need them when he returned before he went back into the cabin. He started into a slow trot as shifted but immediately realized his potential mistake. He never left his clothes on the porch. Usually, he waited until he got further from the cabin to shift just in case Taehyung might have been looking out the window. He would usually leave his clothes in the woods or head back to the Jin and Namjoon’s to change back into something after he ran. 

The thought stopped him in his tracks. He turned and crept up to the porch. If Taehyung was up and had seen, he would most certainly come out. Hell, he’d probably be thrilled to see the black wolf. He was just hoping he hadn’t seen him shifting.

He peeked in the window just to be sure that Taehyung wasn’t awake.

To his relief Taehyung was still sound asleep on the floor.

He glanced at his clothes laying on the porch and considered taking them with him. But decided that because it was so early and he wouldn’t be gone long as he wanted to get back to Taehyung , he could easily shift and put his clothes back on before he would even wake.

As he descended the steps again, he was distracted by the smell of the plum blossom that he had laid on the snow drift. He put his muzzle closer to it. Cherry blossoms had very little fragrance, but plum blossoms had a wonderful honey smell. It’d been years since he had enjoyed it.

Normally on a morning like this he would shift and then run as fast as he could. From what? To what? He never knew. Today he didn’t feel that restless frenzy. Instead he felt at peace.

Whole.

He ran down through the village until he reached the river and ran along it for a while.

It didn’t feel like his wolf was separate from him. He felt he was becoming more complete. Like both parts of him were beginning to exist in harmony. The immediate need would dictate what form he needed to be in, wolf or man. But in each of them, both parts of him existed. It was the strangest most peaceful feeling he’d ever known.

And with what was happening between he and Taehyung, it didn’t seem to be the right time to reveal his secret.

He could exist as both. He would decide later what to tell Taehyung.

His run didn’t last too long. The moon was just getting ready to set at the horizon when he returned to the cabin, shifted, and threw back on his clothes and shoes.

He took a deep sigh and walked towards the waterfall. He needed to get there while she was still in the sky.

As he approached, he was surprised to discover he wouldn’t be alone.

Yoongi was sitting on one of the larger rocks next to the water. He didn’t look up at him, but Jungkook knew that he knew he was there.

“We missed you last night, kid. I think that’s the first time we’ve ran without you.”

Jungkook shoved his hands in his pockets. Unsure that he wanted to tell Yoongi the truth, but even more unsure that he could keep anything from him for long. “Yeah, I just ran this morning,” he stammered and looked at his feet. “I went back to the cabin last night and then I got tired and – “

Yoongi’s side eye cut him off.

“Well, what I mean is that it got late…and I just…yeah…anyway.”

“It’s alright, Jungkook. Was Taehyung with you back at the cabin?”

“Yes,” Jungkook admitted sheepishly.

“That’s good.” Yoongi nodded. “No one was upset. We all basically knew you weren’t coming back when you left.”

Jungkook sat on the rock next to him.

The nice thing about Yoongi was that he wasn’t one who always had to be talking. It was easy to sit in silence with him. Sometimes it even seemed like he preferred it.

Apparently, that was not the case today.

“Is everything good? You guys getting along?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” He was too quick. Too enthusiastic. He knew it immediately and closed his eyes waiting for what was to come.

But Yoongi didn’t tease him.

“He’s good for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said.” Yoongi repeated. “He’s good for you. You’re good for him. I’ve never seen you look like you do this morning.”

Jungkook felt his face flush. No doubt Yoongi knew.

“It’s not because of that,” Yoongi clarified. “Although, that can make you feel like a whole new man. That’s not what I mean. I mean that you look more alive, more at peace, just more…than what you usually do.”

“I was thinking to myself as I walked here how complete I feel.”

“Dalmunjung.” Yoongi said simply as he pointed toward the moon as it disappeared below the western horizon. “When you meet the moon, you meet yourself. She speaks to you now?”

Jungkook nodded. “She told me that Taehyung came for me. And I think it’s about more than the mountain. I always felt like something was missing. And because of the things that I can’t remember from the past, I always assumed it was just those things. And while I do still feel those things missing, Taehyung brought something with him that I didn’t even know I needed. I don’t feel the conflict between myself and my wolf right now. It feels like they’re the same. Like I’m both wholly and completely. I never felt comfortable in my own skin. And then he came. And for some reason my wolf wanted to be with him. And so did I but I felt this conflict. I don’t feel that conflict anymore.”

“That sounds like a good thing to me.”

“Yeah, but that’s the part that doesn’t make sense. How could the presence of another person help me to become more myself? It’s like he had some key and when he arrived it started unlocking doors inside of me that were shut.”

“Not everything makes sense, kid. And sometimes things don’t make sense in the moment, but will later. And then again, sometimes they never make sense. But nature knows what it’s doing. Taehyung was supposed to come here.”

“Do you think so?” Jungkook bit his lip. “I know the piece that he wrote…when they publish it’s going to convince them to not destroy the mountain. I just know it is. And that was why Joon brought him here. But then there is this feeling I can’t shake that he is also here for me. Like I was waiting on him.”

“Maybe he is…maybe you were” Yoongi looked at him thoughtfully. “Would that be okay with you?”

“Yes, of course. But he isn’t staying here. And at the risk of sounding like a big baby, it’s going to hurt like a bitch when he leaves.”

“You don’t have to cross that bridge yet. So don’t.”

“I’m trying not to,” Jungkook sighed. “But now that we’ve, you know… I feel even more connected to him. Like I couldn’t hate him without hating myself or hurt him without hurting myself. And it makes me…it makes me want to love him. And to love myself.”

“Fate and destiny,” Yoongi mused, “they are funny things. The way they work.”

“You think this was destiny?”

“I don’t think. I’m sure of it. Especially after this morning.” Yoongi shifted his weight on the rock. “Now that I know she has spoken to you. I feel like I can tell you. I’ve been here for a while this morning and she told me something.”

“You heard her voice too?”

Yoongi nodded. “It’d been so long since I had that I thought it was Jimin hiding behind the trees fucking with me, but it wasn’t. It was her.”

“What did she say?”

“She told me that together you and Taehyung are going to save the mountain. And then after you save it you’re going to heal it”

“Heal it?” Jungkook was confused. “But it’s not sick? It’s just in danger of being destroyed.”

Yoongi sighed and then paused for a moment before he answered. “Sometimes we are so close to something we don’t see how much it’s hurting. We just want so badly for it not to be hurting that we ignore the signs.”

“So he is here for a reason? For he and I to do these things together?”

“I believe so.” Yoongi turned to him. “She’s basically told you that too. And we’ve just got to remember that whatever is supposed to be will be and we have to accept it. You can’t outrun your future or your past. Sometimes the whole story doesn’t make sense until the end.”

“That’s the other crazy thing!” Jungkook got louder. “But it feels like the fog that has covered my mind is lifting. Like I’d been stalled and now my life is starting again.”

Yoong’s face was compassionate but sad in a way he had never seen.

“That’s what should happen. You should be able to have a full life. One that includes a present, but also a past and a future.” He looked down at the ground and then back up to Jungkook. “You know we’ve always wanted that for you. I hope you know how much we’ve loved you and how we’ve tried to make the right decisions.”

It didn’t feel right to see Yoongi so sad. It made him feel uncomfortable. He bent down and picked up a small rock. “I know you did. You guys were young. We’ve grown up together. You could’ve sent me off to live with a foster family when my parents died, but I was lucky. You let me stay here with you. I couldn’t ever be mad about that.”

“You got it backwards, kid.” Yoongi shook his head. “You let us stay here with you. And you let us be your family. And there isn’t one of us who would have wanted it differently. Our only regret is that we may not have done everything right.”

Yoongi wasn’t a hugger, or Jungkook might have done just that. Instead he scooted closer and bumped him gently.

“Do you think I should just let this thing go with Taehyung? Should I just enjoy what I have in the moment for as long as it lasts?”

Yoongi, ever thoughtful, didn’t answer such a question too quickly.

“I think it’s good to enjoy the present for what it is. But I also think it’s okay to hope for more. And to be open to whatever happens. To let yourself be vulnerable.”

“I’m not particularly good at that.” He tossed the rock toward the water. “And I don’t think he is either. So there may not be a chance.”

“Do you want there to be a chance?”

Jungkook paused, even though he immediately knew the answer. “Yeah. I can’t explain it. He pushes all my buttons. Challenges me. And it seems crazy to want that. But at the same time, it also makes me want to be a good man and a good leader. Which I’ve always wanted to be, but just felt like I didn’t know how and that I was always getting it wrong. But now that he’s here, I feel like I really can be those things.”

“I think you already know this, but I have to mention it.” Yoongi shook his head slowly. “Taehyung isn’t going to just assume how you feel. You’re probably going to have to let him know, because I don’t think he will believe it otherwise.”

“Ugh.” Jungkook looked down at the ground. “That doesn’t sound like something I’m going to enjoy doing.”

“You’d be surprised,” Yoongi grinned. “To be vulnerable isn’t to be weak. It’s actually the exact opposite. It takes great strength.”

Jungkook thought about it. As much as he wanted to dominate Taehyung, there was also an equally strong desire to submit to him. He didn’t want to say that aloud to Yoongi. It seemed like the wrong thing for an Alpha to say.

“I’ve never felt so strong and yet so weak at the same time. Honestly, I feel a little crazy when I’m with him. Even more when I’m away from him.”

Yoongi smirked. “Contrary to the roles that some people want to assign…you know, Alphas are strong and cold and Omegas are weak and needy. All that’s bullshit. A good Alpha knows that his greatest power, doesn’t come from control or demands, it comes from love.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I love him. That would be crazy right?”

“Not really.” Yoongi shrugged. “Love is – “

“Love is the most powerful thing in the universe.” Jungkook mumbled to himself. The words weren’t his own, but he had heard them. Where had heard them?

“Yep it is.” Yoongi’s voice was nostalgic. “That’s what your mom and N– “He stopped suddenly. “What your mom always said.” He looked at Jungkook with concern. “Did you just now remember that?”

“My mom and who?”

“Oh, your mom and Namjoon. She used to say it. Joon still does a lot.” And then quickly, “So you just got hit with this memory of your mom while we were talking?”

“Yeah. Just now while we were sitting here. It’s so weird how memories have just been popping up like that. My past. Rvery day it seems like I have another piece of a memory come to me. They don’t make sense and I can’t put them all together yet.”

“It’ll come, Jungkook. And we’re all going to be here, always, for you no matter what.”

“Thanks for listening to me.” Jungkook knew that when he was younger, he didn’t always show his gratitude. He didn’t want to miss those opportunities going forward.

“That’s what hyungs do, right?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook smiled then it occurred to him. “Hey what are you doing up here so early?”

“Eh,” Yoongi stood up. “Just hadn’t been up here in a while. And the moon was so beautiful last night. And the night was so special. I just wanted to tell her thanks.”

Jungkook couldn’t argue with that. It had been a special night. One he never could have imagined. And he realized he had come to the clearing this morning for the same reason.

On the way back to the cabin, Jungkook thought about what Yoongi had said. Maybe the conflict he felt over Taehyung was all in his head. The extremes he felt about him. The push and pull wasn’t necessary. It was alright to allow himself to be vulnerable.

Something in his head just kept saying that wasn’t right. That would never work.

Still, he was eager to get back to the cabin. Taehyung would likely be awake and not only did Jungkook want to see how they would manage awkwardness if there was any, but he also just wanted to be where he was.

His step quickened as he neared the cabin and before he even got to it, he could see Taehyung’s red coat in the distance. He was not only awake, but outside.

He was standing next to the porch looking at something that Jungkook couldn’t see as his back was turned. But he could see a steady drip from a melting icicle on the corner of the roof. It was huge and Taehyung seemed unaware he was standing right under it.

The possibility of danger sent an instant wave of panic through him.

“Hey,” he called out as he came through trees, “watch out, there’s a huge icicle over your head.”

Taehyung looked up but didn’t move.

His instinct took over and before Taehyung could even take a step, Jungkook had grabbed his arm and pulled him from the spot. “You want to kill yourself?”

Taehyung’s eyes were wide with surprise, but Jungkook was even more surprised with his blasé reaction.

“What?” he laughed. “Death by icicle? Is that even a thing?”

He wasn’t angry that Taehyung’s tone was a bit mocking, but his emotions were high from the fear.  He snapped back. “Yes! Do you not see the size of that thing. It’s melting. And if it comes lose and drops it would come right down on your head.”

Taehyung didn’t stop laughing.

“I’m serious, Taehyung.”

Jungkook’s tone was clear.

“Okay, okay…” Taehyung held up his hands. “You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the shikibuton this morning. Frankly, I’m kind of surprised. I expected you to be in a good mood after last night.”

At the memory, all the angry steam went out of Jungkook and a different type of steam began to simmer. His stomach flipped as he thought about exactly what had happened between them. But even more so at the possibility that it could happen again.

He hated the way he could feel in charge with Taehyung one moment, and then like a shy school boy the next.

“What are you doing out here anyway?”

“I saw the sun was shining.” Taehyung shrugged.

“But it’s still cold.”

“Not if you’re in the sun.” He suddenly became very excited. He was holding the plum blossom branch. “Look what I found! Is it for me?  But it’s too early for cherry blossoms.”

Jungkook’s cheeks warmed with readiness to confess that he cut the flower for him “It’s not cherry. It’s a plum blossom.”

“Ah,” Taehyung held it to his nose and inhaled. “It smells amazing. Like honey perfume. I don’t know. What do you think? He grinned. “I think my wolf friend brought it here for me.”

Jungkook couldn’t push down his indigence, even he knew it was silly. And he really did try, but failed. “What in the world would make you think that?”

“The tracks,” Taehyung motioned to the paw prints on the patches of snow that hadn’t melted. “I’m sure those are his pawprints.”

Jungkook looked at the ground. Of course, his tracks were all over the steps and porch area.

“You know there is more than one wolf on this mountain,” he countered. Regretting it almost immediately when he realized what a dumb argument that was.

Taehyung looked insulted. “Yes, Jungkook,” he rolled his eyes. “I know that there are other wolves on the mountain. But I’ve only gotten close to one special one. The black one.”

Jungkook’s ego swelled at the word special. Granted he wasn’t directly calling Jungkook special. But it still felt good. And yet he was a little irritated at Taehyung for immediately assuming it was the wolf and not him who had brought the plum blossom. And on top of it now he felt embarrassed and unsure of what to say. 

He passed by Taehyung to go up the steps. As he opened the door he turned and pointed toward the plum tree at the side of the house, “I’d like to know just how the hell you think a wolf climbed that tree and brought you a flower.”

Taehyung bit his lip and looked like he was getting ready to laugh again.

Jungkook huffed as he turned and walked into the cabin. He wondered if he would ever understand Kim Taehyung. And even if he did, would he ever understand the way he felt about him.

The sun shone brightly most of the day. Taehyung had only stayed outside for a short while longer before coming in. He passed by Jungkook without a word and retrieved a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water. Jungkook tried not to watch too closely when he put the plum blossom branch inside and sat it in the center of the kitchen table where Jungkook sat.

Then he went to the desk and opened his laptop. Even from across the room, Jungkook could see he was checking his email. He knew Taehyung was anxious to find out that someone wanted to publish the article.

Even though it was technically still winter, spring would arrive soon, and he needed to start planning for the garden. As soon as the ground thawed, he would want to start planting. He sat at the kitchen table with his notebook and put his plan on paper. He made lists of the things he needed Namjoon to get from the city.

When he finished, he opened to a blank page and started sketching. It had been years since he had picked up a pencil and paper to draw. The urge had been growing for a few weeks.  After doodling for a bit, he turned to a clean sheet.

At some point, Taehyung had left the desk and taken a seat in chair near the other window. Even though he was mostly reading the book in his lap. Every now and then he would look up and out the window. The afternoon sun streamed in and over his face.

The first time Jungkook noticed, he held his breath. There were so many beautiful things on the mountain, but he couldn’t think of anything that compared to Taehyung.

He stole a glance every time he thought Taehyung wasn’t looking or might not notice. And without much forethought he put his pencil to paper and began to sketch what he saw.

He was out of practice, but it turned out much better than he had expected. It felt good to draw again.

Closing his notebook, he caught a glimpse of the pink and purple sky through the window. It would be sunset soon.

He stretched his arms above his head and stood up. Taehyung was still reading in the chair. The natural light had diminished significantly in the room.

Jungkook walked to the table next to the chair, reached down and turn on the lamp.

“You’ll ruin your eyes like that.”

Taehyung looked up and acted like he hadn’t noticed Jungkook approaching, but he could see it on his face. He had been more aware of Jungkook than he appeared.

“What?” he peered up through his glasses.

“Your eyes. You aren’t supposed to read in the dark.”

“Oh okay,” he muttered as resumed reading. But then he sneakily looked back up at Jungkook. He wasn’t smiling, but his eyes sparkled mischievously as he dragged the words out and batted his lashes. “Whatever you say…Dad.”

It caught Jungkook completely off guard. The implication was apparent by the way he blinked slowly. Was he flirting or was he making fun? Jungkook hated that he couldn’t tell the difference. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask. He headed back towards the kitchen table.

“You’re kind of a smart ass.”

 “I’ve been told that once or twice before.” Taehyung tilted his head cockily. “I’d rather be a smart ass than a moody dick.”

It was like he was doing it on purpose. Alluding to anything that could bring up the topic of last night. Using words like dick and ass. Hinting at calling him Daddy and batting his eyelashes.

Jungkook’s mouth tightened. His lips pursed as he ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. Taehyung was flirting. He considered his options as he felt arousal stirring.

Did Taehyung want him to make a move? Was he just testing him? He hated that he was so unfamiliar with how these things worked. He didn’t have much confidence in his flirting skills.  Last night he had simply wanted what he wanted and he made it known.

That damn mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble.

Taehyung’s smirk spread slowly into a coy smile. He seemed pleased with himself.

I guess I’m hoping you’ll get pissed off enough that you’ll come back over here and shut it.

That did it.

But before he could take a step, there was a knock at the door.

He closed his eyes. Unbelievable.

Jimin’s voice called out, “Hey! Jin sent me up here with dinner.”

Taehyung raised his hands and arms and shook his head in confusion as he stood. “Do they just sit around and think up reasons to come up here?”

Jungkook couldn’t help but let go an exasperated laugh. “I think they have some sort of rotation.”

He was relieved that Taehyung was going to open the door. His half erection was making his pants too tight and he needed to get rid of it one way or another or at least get any from Taehyung in the hopes it would go away.

“Can you handle Jimin? I need to go wash up.”

Taehyung nodded and Jungkook made a beeline to the bathroom.

He hadn’t planned on it, but looking at the bathtub he decided he’d go ahead and draw a bath. Jimin and Taehyung would be out there talking for a while. And he needed the moment to himself. To think about what he was going to do. Taehyung had made it crystal clear that he was interested at least physically.

And after that little display of blatant flirtation, Jungkook felt something bubbling up in him again. It wasn’t as bad as the past few days, but it was hard to ignore.

The sound of the running bath made it so he could no longer hear Jimin and Taehyung’s conversation. But he didn’t mind. He sunk down into the tub and let the water relax his tense muscles. Last night neither of them got much sleep, but Jungkook got even less than Taehyung.

He laid his head back on the edge of the tub and closed his eyes. His thoughts went to last night. It was unbelievable. He didn’t want to try to plan something as it could fail, but he wondered how he could initiate something tonight. They had a good start until Jimin knocked at the door. Maybe they could pick it back up after –

His thoughts were interrupted by the bathroom door creaking open. He sat up expecting to see Jimin. Assuming there was probably had something that he wanted to tell Jungkook directly.

But it wasn’t Jimin.

“Sorry, but you’re the one who left the door unlocked.” Taehyung cavalierly shrugged as he walked towards the tub.

“Where’s Jimin?”

“It’s the weirdest thing,” Taehyung smirked. “He dropped off dinner. Bibimbap, by the way. But he bolted out of here as soon as he could. I tried to talk to him, but he said he had to go.”

Jungkook scowled. “That’s weird.”

“Don’t know.” Taehyung unbuttoned his pants. “He kept sniffing the air. He was laughing his ass off. something about the smell in here. He said it reeked.”

Jungkook knew exactly why Jimin had left. He was thankful Jimin hadn’t said more than that to Taehyung.

“Dinner smells great, though.” Taehyung pulled his shirt over his head. “It was in foil, so I figured it would stay warm a while longer.”

When Taehyung started to pull his pants off, Jungkook made a small splash as he jolted to sitting straight up in the water to ask. “What are you doing?”

Undaunted, Taehyung ignored the question and kicked them aside. He put his fingers under the waistband of his boxers.

Jungkook suddenly felt hot as he became aware his mouth was dry.

Taehyung stood naked in front of him.

Looking down at the water, he tried to not steal a glance, but he couldn’t help himself.

“What are you doing?” He asked again and hoped his voice didn’t sound as nervous as he felt. He instinctively pulled his legs back.

Taehyung stepped into the tub and took a seat at the opposite end. Stretching his legs in front of him.

“What do you mean?” He asked as though he was totally innocent and hadn’t just stripped off all his clothes.

“I mean why did you climb in here while I’m in here. Why didn’t you wait until I was done.”

“I need to wash up too,” Taehyung ran his hands over the water’s surface before looking up to meet Jungkook’s eyes. “We can conserve water this way. Isn’t that important? Conserving water?”

Taehyung seemed to be initiating a game and suddenly Jungkook was emboldened and more than willing to play. Both his hands went up to his forehead and pushed the wet hair back as he said matter-of-factly.  “Well, I’m not ready to get out yet.”

“That’s fine,” Taehyung leaned back and laid his arms around the edge of the tub, “I was hoping you weren’t done. I didn’t want you to you get out.”

Jungkook laid his arms around the edge of the tub at the other end and extended his legs over and around Taehyung’s.

He hadn’t touched him since last night and early this morning. Even though he had wanted to all day.

Jungkook watched him. His head was tipped back and his eyes were closed. He would have laid back as well, but there was no way he could relax. He was too keyed up with Taehyung’s naked body so close.

Taehyung clearly had gotten into the bathtub with an agenda. Jungkook thought he knew what it was. He hoped so but he waited to be sure.

“Sometimes it just feels good to be touched by someone, you know?” Taehyung raised his head as the sentence ended.

He stared him in the eye as he deliberately raised his knee and dragged his foot gingerly up and down Jungkook’s thigh.

“Yeah,” Jungkook tried to hide the shakiness in his voice.

“Do you want to be touched now?”

“Yeah,” this time there was no hiding the shakiness.

Taehyung rose to his knees and leaned forward. Put his hands on Jungkook’s knees, spreading them so that he could get between. He situated his thighs under Jungkook’s until they were just centimeters apart.

He rested both palms flat on his abdomen and slid them up to the middle of Jungkook’s chest.

Taehyung was watching his hands but Jungkook was watching him. His voice was low and sultrier than it had ever been.

“Last night, when you kissed me, your lips were so soft and everything else on you was so hard.” His fingers traveled to his nipples. When he rubbed them between his thumbs and fingers, Jungkook closed his eyes and swallowed.

“You need to be careful,” Jungkook warned. “You have no idea the things I want to do to you.” He opened his eyes, “no idea.”

He relished the sudden shift in Taehyung that his simple words had caused. His eyes went from seductive to shocked even though he tried to maintain his confident aura. His palms flattened on Jungkook’s chest. They were slightly trembling.

But Jungkook didn’t even need to see anything to sense the change. It emanated from Taehyung’s whole body.  He had gotten the upper hand and now he had control. Taehyung didn’t seem to know what to do about it.

“What?” he dropped his hands under the water to Taehyung’s waist and stroked down his hips around the base of his ass. He leaned closer to his lips and whispered. “You’ve nothing else to say? You interrupted my bath.” He took Taehyung’s bottom lip between his own and lightly sucked and released it. “Been running your mouth, now you’re all quiet”

Their breathes were close and heavy between them.

Taehyung stared for a moment before his surprise morphed into a smirk. And just like that, it flipped. Jungkook knew he’d lost the upper hand again.

Taehyung leaned closer and ghosted his lips over his. Jungkook chased them with his own. Savoring every warm, wet breath.

He winced when Taehyung caught his bottom lip between his teeth and tugged hard. Then released it and kissed over it innocently.

“I’m just wondering,” he whispered hotly.

“Wondering what?”

“If you’re all talk, or if you’re finally going show me these things you want to do to me.”

Jungkook’s cheeks burned, but he had to show Taehyung he hadn’t lost control.

Gripping the edge of the tub with his hands, he stood unexpectedly. Sloshing water around a very surprised Taehyung.

He grabbed his towel as he stepped out of the tub and wrapped it around his waist as low as possible.

“Oh, I’ll show you,” he smirked. “Just as soon as soon as you finish playing in the bath and meet me in the bedroom.”

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

The water was still swaying up against the sides of the tub as Taehyung watched Jungkook leave him alone in the bath.

To say he was turned on would have been an understatement. Jungkook looked incredible naked, that much he had already recently discovered. But naked and soaking wet Jungkook was on a whole new level.

Actually even just wet with the towel wrapped around his waist was one of the hottest things Taehyung had ever seen.

He hadn’t needed to bathe. Getting in the tub had just been a way to get under Jungkook’s skin. He stood and grabbed a towel. But then stopped himself from exiting the tub.

Maybe he needed to take a little time. Not seem so eager. Play hard to get.

It took all of three seconds for him to disregard that ridiculous notion.

He drained the tub, wrapped the towel around his waist and headed toward the bedroom.

Jungkook was laying in the middle of the bed. Arms bent overhead at the elbow. Hands tucked underneath his head.

Still wearing nothing but his towel.

Taehyung paused at the door and couldn’t help but smile. “You just going to lay around in your towel the rest of the day?”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook lifted his shoulders. “Might. You can too if you want.”

Jungkook’s flirting was just too much for him. The contrast of the boyish charm with the muscular demanding body made him dizzy.

He leaned back against the door frame and crossed his arms as nonchalantly as possible. “Eh, I don’t know. It’s the dead of winter. Too cold to be walking around with just a towel.”

“True. It is still winter and it’s quite cold to be walking around in a towel.” Jungkook raised one eyebrow. “But if you climb into this bed with me, you won’t have to worry about either.”

“Is that so?” Taehyung couldn’t resist another moment. He held his towel tightly and moved forward bouncing down on the bed next to Jungkook. Wasting no time, he pressed he pressed his lips to his. “You’re kind of a brat.”

Jungkook unhooked his hands and pulled his arms down and around him. “Got you over here though, didn’t it?”

“I was coming anyway.”

The noise of affirmation Jungkook made got lost as his lips chased Taehyung’s and their hands wandered up and down each other’s damp bodies.

Kissing was like an out of body experience. There seemed to be no end to the back and forth. The tangle of limbs and lips made Taehyung wonder why it had never felt like this with anyone else before.

And touching took everything to another level.

Every time he touched Jungkook, Taehyung discovered something new. In the tub he had gotten a reaction when he touched his chest.

He wrestled his lips away from Jungkook’s and kissed along his jaw. Jungkook continued to chase the kiss, not wanting to allow their lips to separate at all, but his resistance stopped when Taehyung drug the tip of his tongue down his neck and onto his chest.

He inhaled sharply as Taehyung begin to kiss wetly across his collarbone and down towards his nipples. His hands found Taehyung’s head and tightened into his hair.

When a straggled moan escaped his mouth, Taehyung licked over his left nipple and took it into his mouth.

Jungkook’s fingers tightened in his hair.

Wanting to see how far he could go, he placed open mouthed kisses all over both nipples and then moved his mouth a little lower as his hand slid under Jungkook’s towel. Kneeling beside Jungkook’s outstretched body.

His stomach quivered as rose to keep contact with Taehyung’s lips.

Taehyung trailed his hand slowly down through the patch of hair.

“Can I put you in my mouth?” He whispered into Jungkook’s muscled abs as he looked at him from the corner of his eye

“Yes,” Wide eyed Jungkook nearly panted out the words. “Oh god, yes.”

Taehyung moved his head further towards his cock and kissed the side.

Jungkook’s voice was quaking. “I’m sorry I don’t shave…I…I mean you don’t have to – “

“Shhh,” Taehyung placed small pecks over sparsely covered skin. “I like it. And it’s not much. Not like you’re a wild animal.” He wanted to move from Jungkook’s side to the space between his legs. He lifted his head and began to shift his body over when Jungkook’s hand suddenly gripped his ankle.

“No.”

“No?” Taehyung sat back into his ass beside Jungkook’s hip. “I thought you wanted me to.”

“I do,” Jungkook stroked Taehyung’s extended leg from the ankle to the knee. “But keep your legs up here. I want to touch them.”

“My legs?” Taehyung stretched the other one alongside Jungkook’s body.

“Yes,” he kissed his calf as he ran his hands over the skin. “I just love your legs.”

Taehyung smiled at the cuteness and turned back to kiss Jungkook’s hip bone as he wiggled his legs. “Knock yourself out then.”

He ran his slightly parted lips up and down Jungkook’s length. When he enveloped the head with his wet mouth, Jungkook groaned and turned his body even more towards him.

His grip on Taehyung’s legs tightened and then tugged.

Taehyung allowed Jungkook to pull him down the few inches it took to have his own cock lined up with Jungkook’s mouth.

He wasn’t entirely sure what Jungkook was planning to do, but he hoped. Instinctively he widened his legs and then took Jungkook back into his mouth entirely as far as he could go. Inciting a sound of pleasure from both of them.

When Jungkook wrapped his hand around Taehyung’s length and without any hesitation enveloped his mouth down over the head he realized how difficult it was going to be to focus on giving and receiving at the same time.

But it didn’t stop him. And every moan from Jungkook’s mouth went all the way through his cock to the pit of his stomach spurring him on even more.

In turn causing Jungkook to gasp in ecstasy only to then devote himself even more entirely to pleasuring Taehyung.

They exhausted themselves, spending the rest of the afternoon and early evening in bed.

Figuring it out together.

Jin’s foiled wrapped dinner abandoned on the kitchen the table.

Taehyung dozed off for a moment, but he wasn’t quite ready to go to bed. Being winter, it was dark and had been for a while, but when he saw it was only 9pm, he decided to get up. Even though the article was finished and waiting to be published as soon as they could decide where would be the best place to run it, he had been wanting to check and see if there had been any other news about the mountain and the Olympic Committee.

Jungkook was sleeping so peacefully. He slid out of bed as carefully as he could so as not to wake him.

The living room was much warmer than the bedroom had been, and Taehyung worried that Jungkook might actually be cold and considered going back in and covering him with another blanket.

He smiled to himself at the memories late afternoon they had just spent together and decided that Jungkook didn’t need another blanket, instead he would just check his email quickly and then climb back into bed with him.

The moon was visible through the window next to the desk as it came up in the east. He shyly glanced her way. Remembering how last night at the bonfire Jungkook had lured him away and kissed him with so much desire under her light. And as their kisses turned feverish and they were unable to restrain themselves any longer, she had politely slid behind a passing cloud as though to give them their privacy.

He’d been waiting to hear back about the article. Namjoon’s law firm had loved it, but he hadn’t heard which if any magazine wanted to publish it. As confident as the was in his writing, there was still a lingering fear that the article would go nowhere.

A quick scan of his email in box showed that was not the case. Not only did several outlets want to publish the article but many wanted to be the first.

A smile crept across his face in the blue glow of the laptop screen as he read the feedback. And this was just from the publishers. He hoped the public would feel the same.

From behind he heard Jungkook walking into the room. He’d probably gotten cold. But Taehyung was admittedly happy that he’d gotten up. He couldn’t wait to share the news.

“You’ll never believe it,” he called out without taking his eyes off the screen. “Everyone wants to publish this. I’ve never gotten this type of a reaction.”

He looked quickly to his side as Jungkook came to the window and stood looking outside. “Listen to this – Dear Mr. Kim, we…”

He glanced up at him again. Something was off. He was standing so stiff and motionless.

“Jungkook?”

No answer.

“Jungkook, did you hear me?” He reached out and swiped at the hem of his boxers.

No answer and no movement.

“Jungkook?” Taehyung rose from the chair and stood next to him. “Are you okay?”

Jungkook was completely unaware of him. He stared straight out into the forest arms hanging at his side.

In college, he had seen one of the guys in the dorm sleep walk. This looked similar. And he assumed that Jungkook was experiencing the same. He recalled that when it happened in college, the guy’s roommate had said the best thing was to not wake them but guide them back to the safety of their bed.

He cautiously put his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders in the hope he could guide him to the mattress on the floor or the bedroom.

But when his hands made contact with his skin, Jungkook jerked and his arms shot up and out towards the window. It was with so much force, Taehyung was afraid he would put his hands right through. But he didn’t Instead they rested on the glass pane. He leaned forward until his face was just inches from the window. Like he was looking for something.

Taehyung assumed he must have woken up and been surprised by where he was. He dropped his hands from his shoulder.

“Man, I’m glad you’re awake. I was worried about how to get you to go back to bed without waking you.”

Jungkook began to mumble. And then one clear word rang out.

“No.”

“Jungkook?”

“No!” He smacked both hands on the window. “No! Please no!”

He was still asleep but he seemed to be dreaming.

“No!” He screamed this time. His hands began to beat harder onto the glass. “No, please!”

Taehyung didn’t think he had a choice. He had to wake him before he put his arms through the window. He grabbed both shoulders and began to pull him around. But Jungkook started to fight. His eyes were open but he was looking straight through Taehyung.

“No!” he shrieked again and turned his head back toward the window as Taehyung continued to try to hold his body and arms in the attempt to prevent him from bursting the glass.

“Come on, Jungkook,” Taehyung reassured him. “It’s okay. You’re dreaming. Wake up. Wake up. It’s just a dream.”

But it was useless. Jungkook continued to struggle against him trying to get to the window.

Jungkook was stronger than him and he wasn’t sure how long he could hold him back. And if he couldn’t wake him up, he was afraid he would put his hands through the window or worse.

And then he released an excruciatingly painful scream. It was like nothing Taehyung had ever heard. But with it, his body weakened. Like his resolve to fight had melted and Taehyung was able to pull him into his arms even though he still seemed to be sleeping.

Jungkook clung to him crying. He hands dug painfully into Taehyung’s upper back. His face buried in Taehyung’s shoulder he sobbed. His tears were wet and warm against his neck.

And his voice.

It nearly brought Taehyung to his knees hearing the anguish in it.

“No,” he sobbed. “Please, Noeul. Please.”

Taehyung’s pain at hearing Jungkook in so much agony instantly turned into shock.

Later when he thought about the moment, he thought his instinct should have been to push Jungkook away. To demand that he wake up.

But that’s not what he did.

He pulled him closer. Squeezing him tightly and pleaded softly into the side of his head. “Please, wake up. Please, Jungkook. You’re scaring me.”

The change created a shift in the room that was felt immediately.

Jungkook lifted his head up. Arms still around Taehyung. He loosened them as he pulled back and looked at him in confusion.

“Wha--?” Jungkook’s arms came back to his sides. His face was red and tear-stained.

Taehyung put his hands onto his biceps carefully and gently. Rubbed up and down. “You’re alright. You had a nightmare. You walked out here in your sleep.”

Even though he was awake, Taehyung could tell, Jungkook was not entirely coherent.

“How?” He stammered and looked towards the window and around the living room. “What-?”

“Come on,” Taehyung put his arm around his waist and turned him toward the bedroom.

“No,” Jungkook stopped. “I want to sleep in here.”

“Alight,” Taehyung agreed as he pulled the blankets on the mattress on the floor and tried to arrange the pillows quickly into the same way Jungkook usually did. “Here, come on, let’s get you back to bed.”

Jungkook allowed Taehyung to help him onto the mattress, but when he began to cover him with the blanket, Jungkook grabbed his wrist.

“Please sleep here. Don’t leave.”

“Alright.” Taehyung nodded. “Just let me shut down the laptop.”

Jungkook laid back in relief and Taehyung started toward the desk. He wasn’t positive if Jungkook was entirely awake even though he had been able to get him lay down.

 And then Jungkook spoke again.

“I had a terrible nightmare. I can’t remember. But she was leaving.”

Taehyung closed the laptop lid and stopped for a moment to collect himself. “Who was?”

“I don’t know. I think it was my mother.”

“Your mother?” Taehyung swallowed hard.

He returned to the mattress and knelt down.

“Yeah,” Jungkook continued. “She was leaving me. Or she was going to leave me. The sun was setting. And I could see her dark silhouette against the sky. I was crying but she wouldn’t – “

His voice cracked and Taehyung couldn’t bear the look in his eyes.

“Hey, it’s alright.” He lifted the blanket and climbed under. Jungkook didn’t waste any time taking shelter in his arms. “You’re safe, Jungkook. You’re safe. It was just a dream.”

“I knew when the sun set below the horizon she would be gone for good,” he mumbled into Taehyung chest. “It hurt so much.”

“That’s probably why you said noeul.”

“I was so scared, Tae. It wasn’t a memory. My mom never left me like that. She died. But it felt so real.”

“She still left though. It was probably just the way your mind perceived it.” He had to ask one question he was dying to know. “What was your mom’s name?”

“Haena,” Jungkook whispered tearfully.

“That’s a beautiful name.” Taehyung kissed the top of his head. “Do you want to talk or go back to sleep.”

“M’sleepy.” Jungkook’s voice sounded like he was halfway there. Taehyung still wondered if he’d ever completed woken up. The Jungkook he’d been familiar with would rarely if at all be that vulnerable and open.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered into his hair, even though he could tell by the breathing that Jungkook was already falling back into sleep.

He hoped that sleep would find him soon as well. But his thoughts were a jumble.

Jungkook’s nightmare had caused him such pain. A pain that Taehyung couldn’t help but feel.

And while noeul did mean the glow in the sky at sunset. And it made sense that Jungkook called out against the setting sun as that was when he knew his mother would be gone.

The word also meant something else to Taehyung.

Noeul.

It was the name of Taehyung’s mother.

Chapter Text

Taehyung turned from side to side in the mirror to get a better view of himself. The hanbok he had borrowed from Jungkook fit perfectly. He didn’t have one of his own. He never had. And he told the guys he would be fine in his regular clothes, but all of them, especially Jungkook had insisted that he borrow one so that he would look like the rest of him.

Jungkook came out of the bathroom wearing his joggers and a hoodie.

“Where’s your hanbok? Don’t tell me you’re making me wear one and you aren’t’.”

“No, I am,” Jungkook pointed towards the chair. “It’s over there. I’m going to take it with me and dress for the Seollal celebration down at the tavern.”

Taehyung would have asked why, but things had been pleasant with Jungkook for the past two weeks since the late January full moon and he didn’t want to disturb that. Physically they had been more than pleasant. Even though the snow had melted, it was still winter and therefore rather cold. The article was published and very much out of their hands and so with those empty hands they repeatedly found each other.

Taehyung told himself that it was his nerves. He was worried the article wouldn’t be well received by the public. That it might fail. Which didn’t bother his ego as much as it would have six months ago. But now, if the article failed there was something much more important on the line. The mountain and village would be destroyed. His ego was of little consequence to him with that at stake.

He reasoned that he and Jungkook were using each other physically as a distraction. It was hard to think of anything else when they were together.

In truth it was the best distraction Taehyung had ever had.

It wasn’t that they didn’t talk. They did. About the village, about Taehyung’s career. But they didn’t talk about what they were doing with each other. They didn’t make plans on how this would work as a relationship when Taehyung went back to the city.

No hopes or promises outside of the hope that their efforts had been successful in saving the village and the mountain.

They simply lived in the moment in the wintery cabin, using the heat between them to keep warm.

The one thing they definitely did not talk about was Jungkook’s nightmare.

If he had brought it up in conversation, Taehyung would have been willing to. But he never did. The way he clung to Taehyung that night was enough evidence that the nightmare had been terrible for him. And Taehyung didn’t want to make him relive it even if only in thoughts and words.

The next morning, Jungkook hadn’t acted like anything was wrong.

And nothing like the nightmare had happened again.

For as close as they had gotten physically, there was still a newness and an uncertainty that Taehyung could tell they both felt.

And Jungkook could still be somewhat moody.

There were times that he didn’t seem to want to talk as much and this morning appeared to be one of those times. Rather than interrogate him until he got frustrated, Taehyung decided it didn’t really matter when or where he got dressed.

“I’m actually going to head down there now. I have a few things I need to do before dinner.” Jungkook look at Taehyung like he was waiting on more questions or an argument.

“Oh, okay,” Taehyung ran his hand over the front of his hanbok, smoothing it down where it seemed to be gaping. “I was going to go down early myself. Hobi asked me to help him make rice cakes for the soup. I warned him that I’m a disaster in the kitchen. I told him to ask you if he didn’t believe me.”

Jungkook smirked. And Taehyung took it to mean that he remembered that morning just a little under two months ago in the cabin kitchen when he’d made a mess of making the red bean porridge.

Taehyung winked his eye at him and the smirk turned into a smile.

He turned back to the mirror and started to say something more just in time to see Jungkook’s reflection as he quickly exited the front door.

“Well, okay. I guess someone is in a hurry today,” he said to his own image in the mirror as the straightened his belt.

When Taehyung got down to the tavern, he was surprised to see that Hobi was the only one there. Namjoon had already mentioned he would be working, but would leave the city as soon as possible so as not to miss the festivities. He assumed that some of the other guys would be roaming around the tavern as well, but they weren’t.

He hated to admit it to himself, but he was disappointed that none of the other were there.

Especially Jungkook.

“Hey!” he called as he entered the kitchen to make sure he didn’t frighten Hobi. “Did everyone else ditch you?”

Hobi was setting out the different ingredients on the counter. “Nah, they just had things to do. But that’s okay. You can I can get these rice cakes made and get the soup started so Jin can work on other stuff when he gets back.”

Taehyung made a noise of agreement. He donned the apron Hobi gave him and rolled up his sleeves.

For a while, the conversation consisted of following Hobi’s instructions and making small talk about food and cooking. However, as they finished the rice cakes and started the soup to boil, the conversation took a turn that Taehyung should have expected.

“So what’s up with you and Jungkook?”

“Nothing, why?” Taehyung shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, peering into the pot trying to look very interested in the soup boiling on the stove.

“I don’t know,” Hobi put some of the utensils in the sink. “I guess it’s just that for a while when we didn’t hear much from you guys and you weren’t coming down to the tavern, we assumed the worst.” He opened his eyes wide as though it was obvious. “That you two had torn each other apart.”

Taehyung swallowed and stayed quiet. He almost admitted that he had initially expected the same and was surprised as anyone when it didn’t happen, but Hobi kept talking.

“But then… we see that you guys are actually getting along?” His voice is incredulous. Exaggerated on every word.

“Well, there was the storm and then the snow. And then it’s just been really cold the past month so, you know – “

He looked to Hobi to see if the excuse was believable, but the raised eyebrows with the side eye indicated all too clearly that he wasn’t buying it.

Hobi went back to stirring the soup. “It’s cool. I’m glad you guys are getting along. We all are.” He paused, but Taehyung could tell he wanted to say more. “It’s been good for Jungkook to have a friend. I mean he has us and all, but it’s different.”

Taehyung wasn’t exactly sure what he meant. There had been a change in Jungkook since he arrived. But he wasn’t sure if Jungkook had actually changed, or if he’d just finally gotten used to him.

“Anyway,” Hobi leaned back a little so he could glance out the window. “I bet they’ll be back any moment now. Let’s go outside and take a break while this cooks. Gotta rest up for the games.”

He winked. Taehyung had already sensed they were a competitive bunch. The games were probably an important part of the festivities. And that didn’t disappoint Taehyung in the least. Even though he wasn’t usually that competitive, something about being up on the mountain had brought out a vigor and determination in him that he usually only reserved for work projects. He looked forward to some healthy competition.

Taehyung nodded and followed him outside. The chilly air felt good after being in the steamy kitchen. Even though it was still only mid-February it felt like the winter was ending, or at the very least that spring was close. Usually Lunar New Year was earlier than this, but the way the moons fell made it one of the latest he had ever known in his lifetime.

And yet, he thought wistfully, something about it was so perfectly timed. Everything had felt so perfectly timed since being up on the mountain. All his life he had always felt too late. Too late for everything. His career had been the only area of his life in which he felt like he hit the mark.

Now, at this point in his life, it felt like he was hitting the mark in his professional life and his personal one.

It was the first time in his whole life he had ever felt like he was precisely where he was supposed to be.

He leaned up against the door frame while Hobi sat on a large rock. They exchanged only a little light conversation. Instead, mutually choosing to enjoy the brisk but sunny afternoon air.

Taehyung wondered where Jungkook and the others had been all morning. It didn’t seem to bother Hobi that they weren’t around, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was missing out on something. He was just about to ask, when they appeared from around the corner of the tavern. All four were wearing hanboks, but Jungkook was the one that he could hardly keep his eyes off of.

The hanboks were all styled slightly different and in various shades of blues and grays. However, Jungkook stood out. His dark hair, which had grown into longer ringlets over the winter, looked like the black of midnight against the pastel bluish green handbook. It was so soft and ethereal looking. Taehyung began to plot how he could touch it as soon as possible.

Maybe just to see if it was as soft as it looked. Or maybe to see if Jungkook was truly real and not an otherworldly being who defied the confines of human beauty.

As the men approached, Taehyung tried to collect himself and refocus his attention.

“Oh sure,” he teased. “You guys show up now that we have the tteokguk almost made.”

Jin rolled his eyes as he walked past Taehyung and entered the tavern. “Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ve arrived just in time to clean up the mess you two made.”

Hobi followed quickly at his heels explaining that they just hadn’t had the chance to clean up yet, but they would now.

Jimin and Yoongi, who appeared to have been deep in discussion while walking, gave Taehyung a quick nod as they passed him on their way into the tavern never stopping their conversation.

Which left he and Jungkook alone.

Even though Taehyung knew it was impossible, Jungkook looked taller. Maybe he was just standing up straighter.

“Did you have a good time with Hobi?”

“Yeah, it was good.” Taehyung straightened the sides of his own hanbok. “I think the soup will turn out nicely. And the dumplings too. He did ask me about you and I though. And that was sort of awkward.”

Jungkook’s face pinched. “What’d he ask about you and I?”

“Honestly it wasn’t asking as much as it was implying.” Taehyung shrugged. “He seemed to think something was going on the past few weeks that was keeping us from coming down to hang out with the others.”

Jungkook didn’t answer.

Instead a smirk slowly crept across his face. He was staring into Taehyung and wandered back and forth from his eyes to his neck.

Taehyung was paralyzed under the glare and couldn’t even move as he watched Jungkook’s first two fingers rise and stroke a spot of skin on his neck.

“Hmm…” he leaned forward with a deep purr as he rubbed gently, “I wonder if this little mark right here had anything to do with that. Might want to check the mirror a little more closely next time.”

Taehyung’s hand jumped to his throat as Jungkook withdrew his and continued his smirky smile.

A tender spot. He hadn’t noticed it in the mirror, but he wasn’t surprised that there was a mark. As he had noticed a few others across his body over the last few weeks.

“Is it dark?”

“Yeah, I’d say it pretty undeniable what it is.”

Taehyung swatted at him, but Jungkook moved too quickly and his hand caught only the air. “Well, it’s your fault, you put it there!”

Jungkook’s smirk widened to a grin that made it all the way to his eyes. A perfect balance of silly and seductive.

“I know I did…” He started through the tavern door, with Taehyung following behind.

“And,” he suddenly stopped and turned, whispering before making it all the way inside, “I think you need a few more.”

While the soup cooked, they played traditional Lunar New Year games.

During Yut Nori.

“You’re cheating.”

“I’m not cheating. I’m just better than you.”

“Yeah right, you think you’re better than me?”

“Well, I’m winning, aren’t I?”

“Only because you’re cheating!”

If the forest trees had been recording all afternoon that would be the essence of the soundtrack.

There was banter between all of them. But nothing like the competitive banter between Taehyung and Jungkook. It was snarky and flirtatious. Prompting Yoongi at one point to ask “Seriously how old are you two?”

Finally, Jin held up his hands! “Hold up! Hold up!”

Everyone gave him their full attention. Which Taehyung had observed was always the case when Jin used a certain voice. This was that voice.

“Well looks like we need to resolve the dick-measuring competition between these two.” Jin announced after Taehyung and Jungkook had argued once again during a Jegichagi about who was the most skilled, fastest, and balanced. Taehyung had almost argued that he was physically stronger than Jungkook, but even he could admit that was unlikely. To himself at least. It was not something he was ever planning to admit to Jungkook.

“Afraid you’re right Jin,” Yoongi shook his head. “And there’s only one sure fire way to do that.”

Taehyung and Jungkook both froze on the spot where they had been almost nose to nose in heated debate, now they stood like young boys facing Jin and Yoongi waiting to receive the consequences of their actions.

As Jin and Yoongi edged closer, Taehyung looked to Jungkook at his side. Jungkook glanced back at him. Both uncertain of what Yoongi and Jin were planning.

Jin slapped his palms onto one of each of their shoulders.

“Alright boys…” he started.

Yoongi was snickering way too hard for this to be serious.

“…time for a wrestling match.”

Jungkook, much to Taehyung’s surprise was the first to decline. “Nah, not necessary. We don’t need to wrestle.” The millisecond glance he gave Taehyung was full of nervousness.

Taehyung was grateful that Jungkook had declined first. If he had declined first, he might have looked like he was trying to wimp out. Everyone knew Jungkook could beat Taehyung in a true wrestling match. Even Taehyung.

“Yeah, I agree.” He conceded, “we don’t need to wrestle.”

He didn’t even need to read Jungkook’s mind to know that they both were all too aware that even though hanboks were nice and roomy, they weren’t going to be able to hide it if they both start sporting erections. Which was inevitable if they touched each other with the full contact intensity that a wrestling match would require.

He hoped that everyone else would just accept their refusal and leave it at that.

Those hopes were dashed when Jimin astutely pointed out the obvious.

“By the looks of those hickeys on Taehyung’s neck, I bet they’ve wrestled so much the past few weeks that they’re tired of it.”

He was close enough that Jungkook was able to punch him in the arm.

“Ouch,” he whined as he rubbed his arm. “I’m just saying what we are all thinking. You know it’s true! I was up there and you would not believe – “

The sound of Namjoon’s car on the other side of the tavern coming to a screeching halt and the follow up car door slam interrupted the awkwardness. Taehyung was thankful.

Namjoon came running around the building as he slipped his arms into the robe of his hanbok. He wasn’t as late as he had thought he would be, so Taehyung was confusion by his urgency.

“Taehyung! You aren’t going to believe this!” he exclaimed.

Everyone gathered together eagerly waiting the announcement of whatever had him so excited.

“Things are really moving. We have a bunch of interview requests. More requests to publish. And not only that, they want you to do a follow up series as spring starts and into the summer. Like a biweekly feature.”

Taehyung had received positive attention for articles in the past so he knew he was good. But this could end up being the gateway to a whole new level.

“They’ve got some ideas, but they want to hear your ideas too.” Namjoon explained. “The demand is there for more information. People are fascinated with the story of a small village going up against the Olympics Committee. This could be really big. And the additional attention will put even more pressure on them to use the other location for the ski slope.”

“You’re kidding?” Taehyung was in disbelief. “That’s amazing. Yeah, I definitely can come up with some angles and ideas.”

Namjoon’s face turned serious. “It will mean that you’ll need to stay up here for several more months. At least until monsoon season, but it might be great if you could stay through Chuseok. Like a one year thing. Hey you could even write your version of Walden, like you said. Spending one year on the mountain.”

“Staying up here longer won’t be a problem,” Taehyung glanced at Jungkook, “at least I don’t think so.”

“Yeah! You’re staying longer!” Hobi smacked him on the back.

“I’ve got all the dates in an email that I’ll pull up for you,” Namjoon tied his hanbok as he walked to Jin and kissed him on the cheek. “The meetings and interviews are all clumped up together over a few days so we can make one trip into the city and at the same time you can collect any other belongings you want from your apartment now that you’re staying longer.”

Taehyung nodded, but even through his own elation, he felt something different.

 Jungkook’s hesitation.

“You’ll be taking him for a day to the city?” He directed the question to Namjoon.

“Eh, no more like a few days. I think we can finish everything up in less than a week.”

Outwardly he stayed relatively calm, but Taehyung could feel strong vibes of anxiety and fear rolling off of him. The feeling of hesitation from Jungkook turned to panic. So much so that Taehyung turned to him with worry.

His voice was intense. “Why Joon? Why can’t it be done a day trip? Or why not remote? Why does he have to go to the city at all? Remote would work.”

Taehyung wanted to calm him. Not only for him, but to stop the overwhelming trepidation he felt rising inside that he didn’t understand. However, he really had no idea what to say. He didn’t understand why Jungkook would be worried about his going to the city for a few days. “It’s alright, Jungkook. I don’t mind.”

“Well, I mind!” he shouted to no one in particular. “There’s no reason he has to go to the city for a week.”

“Probably not a week,” Namjoon clarified. “More like four or five days.”

Yoongi approached Jungkook and touched his arm. His face was worried. Taehyung couldn’t shake the feeling that this was about more than him going to the city. He and Jungkook had definitely gotten closer. A lot closer. And he did seem to be a little on the possessive side, but he’d been supportive of Taehyung’s career and he most certainly wanted to save the mountain so this couldn’t be simply about missing Taehyung.

“Jungkook,” Yoongi said softly, “this is going to help save the mountain. It’ll be alright.”

That seemed to work. Jungkook looked at Yoongi and his face went from angry to helpless. He took a deep breath as Yoongi stroked his arm. The panic and anger being replaced with what looked like an attempt to center himself. To remember why they were doing all of this.

“Alright, yes,” he conceded. “I guess this is a good thing.”

“It is a good thing, Jungkook. I promise it will be alright,” Yoongi repeated.

No one else spoke. But Taehyung’s skills as a journalist picked up that no one seemed shocked by Jungkook’s reaction. Bothered but not shocked. Looking at Jungkook, he realized that even he didn’t seem to be able to articulate what bothered him so much about it.

“I just…I mean it’s not a big deal. I don’t know. It’s just a trip to the city.” But his faced didn’t look totally convinced.  “How long until you guys leave, Joon?”

“A little less than two weeks from now. End of the month, beginning of March.” Namjoon seemed to be tempering his enthusiasm now. Jungkook’s reaction had bothered him. Again though. It bothered him, but didn’t seem to completely surprise him. He moved closer to Jungkook as they all walked into the tavern together. Right before walking through the door, he watched Namjoon put his arm around Jungkook’s shoulder. And even though it wasn’t meant for him, he heard the whisper anyway.

“Don’t worry, Jungkook. I promise I’ll bring him right back to you.”

If it hadn’t been for Jungkook’s work out equipment and the walking he could do on the mountain, Taehyung was certain he would have gained at least thirty pounds by now from the food.

Jin was an incredible cook. And Jungkook was pretty good too. And it seemed like everything they did was centered on eating.

Of course, a holiday like today, a huge spread was expected and as usual Jin delivered. Taehyung was proud of himself for the cooking skills he had learned while on the mountain. The rice cake soup he and Hobi made was well received.

As they were finishing up the meal, the conversation turned to what they each wanted to happen in the new year.

Jin announced that he wanted to remodel the inside of the tavern. He had newer pictures he wanted to put up and take down some of the older ones. He also wanted a fresh coat of paint in the dining area.

Namjoon wanted to get more organized regarding work so that he wasn’t always losing important papers.

Hobi and Yoongi were both hesitant. Exchanging looks between each other and making jokes, but never really coming out and saying what their resolutions or plans were.

When Taehyung announced that his only wish for the new year was that they received official word that the mountain and village would be spared, Jungkook found his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.

But it was Jimin’s answer that tugged at Taehyung’s heart.

“I’d like to not be alone anymore.” Jimin admitted sadly.

When the others began to protest that he was hardly alone, as he had all of them, Jimin explained that he just wanted to have something more in his life. More than his work.

However, even being the newcomeiner, it was Taehyung who was able to read between the lines.

“Jimin, maybe it’s time you reconnected with your first love. The guy you told me about.”

All chatter and motion in the room grinded to a halt.

Everyone seemed to be staring blankly at him.

“Your pretty Cloud?” He smiled at Jimin, but the silent reaction in the room made him look around try to read the faces. It was literally one of the only times since he had been on the mountain that he felt uncomfortable. “That’s what you called him, right. It was Cloud, wasn’t it?”

Jimin’s face was white.

“Yeah,” he said carefully. “But I didn’t tell you I called him Cloud. I just told you his name was Sungwoon.”

“Oh yeah Sungwoon.” Taehyung frowned. “I guess maybe you told me that and I assumed his nickname.” He paused as he tried to put the pieces together in his mind. “No, Jimin. You must have told me you called him Cloud.”

“Taehyung, I am certain I did not tell you that.” Jimin glanced around at the faces that were much more stunned than would seem normal in regards to the conversation and hurried with an explanation.

“Back on Dongji, Taehyung and I were talking about relationships. And I told him that I had a first love, but we fell out of touch.” He looked back to Taehyung. “But really it’s not a big deal. Being alone.  I just meant maybe I’d try a dating app or something in the new year.”

All eyes went to Jimin.

Taehyung couldn’t help but notice that the topic of Jimin and Sungwoon wasn’t an easy one.

Namjoon broke the awkward silence. “I see him sometimes in the city,” his voice was tentative. “The youth shelter he runs is not far from my law firm’s office building. Have you ever run into him?”

Jimin looked just as distressed as he did the night he told Taehyung about his first love.

“Honestly, it’s fine guys. I doubt he would even want to see me after all this time.”

“There’s only one way to find out,” Hobi said softly.

The silence took over again.

Yoongi cleared his throat. “Jimin, I think that’s the point. Time has passed. And you really don’t know how – “

Jimin’s face continued to get sadder the more the other guys chimed in and Taehyung was sorry he had even brought it up. It was clear that everyone knew Sungwoon well. Except for Jungkook. He seemed uninterested in the conversation and began to clear dishes.

“I’m sorry Jimin.” Taehyung earnestly apologized. “I didn’t really think before I spoke. I just wanted to encourage you but – “

“It’s really alright.” Jimin looked down into his bowl. “I guess I’d just made up my mind years ago that he was gone and I would never see him again. And I haven’t let myself even entertain the idea. I assumed it was our fate to never be together.”

“I suppose you could look at it like that,” Yoongi said thoughtfully. “A lot of people believe our fate is set in stone. But I’m not convinced of that.”

Jin sipped his whiskey. “You don’t believe in fate, Yoongi? You of all people. Sitting there next to your literal soulmate. The absolute perfect person for you.”

Hobi smiled shyly, but then looked at Yoongi knowingly.

“I believe it was a sort of fate that brought Hobi and I together. Actually, what brought us all together. But at some point, I knew he was my destiny and then we made the decisions to keep us together. A certain number of things in your life just happen to you right? But your destiny is to decide how you react to those things and what you do with them.”

“Hmm” Jin leaned back in his chair. “So maybe fate brought Sungwoon and Jimin together and consequently eventually ripped them apart, but you’re saying they can still be destined to be together.”

“Damn guys,” Jimin huffed, “this is my life you’re talking about not one of those weird philosophical conversations you all like to have when you’re two glasses of whiskey in.”

Hobi stood and walked around the table to sit in the open spot next to Jimin. He sat close. Rubbed his arm. “Jimin, you know what’s best for you. We just want you to be happy. It doesn’t matter what you do or who you’re with. The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy. That’s all that matters.”

A crash of shattering glass.

Everyone’s attention turned to Jungkook who had just came back to the room from the kitchen.

Several broken glasses and dishes were scattered around his feet as he stood looking helpless in the center of the mess, his hands open and trembling.

“That’s what she used to say,” he mumbled.

They all jumped up and Taehyung and a few of the others ran to him trying to avoid stepping on the broken glass and ceramic shards.

“My eomma,” his lip quivered.

Taehyung got to his side first and put his arms around his waist guiding him towards the table. “Come on, come sit down.”

Jungkook allowed himself to be led. Taehyung helped him into the chair next to him. And Hobi poured some water encouraging him to take a sip.

Jin seemed the most concerned. He hovered around Jungkook, rubbing his shoulders. Not saying anything, but clearly not willing to leave his side.

“Are you alright?” Taehyung rubbed his hand.

Jungkook nodded somewhat dumbly. “I just heard it. And I heard it in my mom’s voice. And I saw her in my mind, but it wasn’t from the pictures you’ve shown me. It was like I really saw her.”

He swallowed another sip of water and looked around the table at the other guys and up at Jin who was standing behind him. “Is it real? Did I just remember her?”

Jin squeezed his shoulders. “I think so buddy.”

“She was so beautiful,” Jungkook had tears in his eyes. “I mean I know she was beautiful from the pictures, but she was really beautiful. Like her soul. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You don’t have to,” Yoongi offered. “We all remember her. You’re right. She was probably one of the most beautiful souls any of us have ever had the privilege to know.”

“We all loved her,” Hobi looked teary.

“A lot,” Jimin added.

Taehyung wasn’t sure what to say to comfort Jungkook. He wasn’t even sure that he needed to. But he wanted to do something. “She sounds lovely, Jungkook. I’m so sorry she’s gone.”

“Do you have a picture of her?” Taehyung to the whole table in general.

But no one answered. They just looked at each other. It was a simple enough question. But there seemed to be some hesitation.

“You’ve never seen her?” Jimin asked as he stood. Jin reached out as though he was going to grab the back of his hanbok. But Jimin was out of reach. He made it to the one of the far walls on the side of the bar and carefully lifted a frame from the wall.

Taehyung had looked at most of the photos in the tavern while doing his research, but he had never noticed that small area as it was a sort of alcove that was partially hidden by a supporting beam that stood next to the bar. Upon seeing it now, he realized there were a few frames, but also many spaces that look liked frames had once been there and were now missing.

Jimin brought the picture to him and laid it between he and Jungkook.

The woman young woman in the photo with the long black hair had one of the kindest smiles he had ever seen.

“She’s breathtaking, Jungkook.” Taehyung was nearly speechless. Jungkook ran his fingers over her face.

“I miss her so much.”

I miss her too. Taehyung kept the thought to himself because it was Jungkook’s mother and he didn’t want to take away from that. But secondly, despite how familiar she looked, he hadn’t known her.

But he did know all too well what it was like to miss a mother. He missed his dreadfully. He reasoned that the pain he felt of missing the mother in the photo was simply from Jungkook. Just like the fear and anxiety he’d felt when Namjoon announced the trip to the city.

His feelings for Jungkook and his ability to relate to his loss were making him sympathetic in such an intimate way that he felt the pain as his own.

He laid his hand on Jungkook’s leg and rubbed. Some small gesture just to let him know he wasn’t alone.

“Can we talk about her? Or will make you sadder?” Taehyung wanted to be respectful and yet he also wanted to know more about woman that the whole room was grieving the loss of.

“No, please,” he sniffed. “Please talk about it. Ask whatever you want. It feels good to talk about her.”

Without any prompting from Taehyung, Hobi started.

“She was amazing. She truly was. She was like everyone’s mother. Like the whole mountain. I swear even the mountain loved her.”

“She knew this mountain from top to bottom.” Jin sat down again. “She knew every plant, every herb. And more importantly she knew how to use them. She put doctors to shame. I think I told you, I was even planning to be one at one point. But once I saw what she could do I wanted to learn from her.”

“She was a healer in every sense of the word,” Yoongi said softly. “The mountain was the healthiest it’s ever been because of her.”

“Until the virus?” Taehyung regretted the question as soon as it left his lips.

It didn’t seem to be the right time to ask. He had remembered Jungkook saying the virus that had swept through the village killed his mother. He still had so many questions about that. But he had been careful about asking it seemed insensitive as it had obviously killed many in the village. One question that had been at the back of his mind for a few weeks was how had the guys survived when it seemed to claim all their parents. But this wasn’t the time and he wished he hadn’t mentioned it.

“Yeah,” Yoongi said simply and then added thoughtfully. “Viruses come in all types. It’s a venom, poisonous fluid. And that’s what this was. A poison that spread. If she could have stopped it, she would have. But she was powerless and it took her too.”

Jin nodded “It was a terrible loss for the mountain and things were never the same.” 

He then smiled as a memory hit him. “If she were here today, she would be showing off her perfect balance at neolttwigi. You know, the game with the seesaw where two girls stand on the board at each end. And they hurl each other into the air doing tricks. She was long past the age of a girl, but she was incredible. I don’t think anyone was ever better at it than her.”

Namjoon who had been busying himself with continuing where Jungkook left off clearing the table chimed in. “Only one other person in the whole village was as good. I remember watching Haena and – “He suddenly stopped wiping the table with the dishcloth and toyed with it nervously. “I mean – she was good. Really good.”

Taehyung glanced at Jungkook. He was mesmerized by the talk about his mother. He was looking at Namjoon in anticipation. But he didn’t continue.

Instead Hobi started talking. “She could jump so high. Actually, most of the women here were so good at it. They could jump for hours and do all kinds of tricks as long as they had a good partner.

“You know the story goes that historically women played that game because they weren’t allowed to go outside the walls that surrounded the houses, so they would play this so they could get a glimpse of the world outside when their side of the seesaw when up in the air.” Taehyung laughed to himself at Yoongi’s interjection of historical info. “Of course, the women on this mountain would have never put up with restrictions like that.”

“That’s the truth.” Jimin stood up to help Namjoon. “Haena was gentle, but she was fierce. About what she believed. And especially protective of anyone she loved especially us.”

“Thank goddess,” Hobi shook his head, “because you guys had a terrible father.”

“You mean adopted father,” Jimin emphatically corrected.

Taehyung pointed to the three. Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi. “You mean your father and Jungkook’s mother didn’t get along?”

“Not at all,” Namjoon explained. “He had very strict ideas about traditional roles, child rearing, and who should be in charge on the mountain, and he had no respect for women – “

“And basically,” Yoongi interjected, “Haena didn’t give a damn what he thought. She listened to Dalmin, and her heart. Her beautiful heart. She was a light in the darkness. And she did only what she thought was best for the mountain and for all of us.”

“I think that’s why I always think of her even more on Children’s Day. She used to love it.  Said it was as important as Chuseok. She used to make a huge deal of it. She loved being mother. She loved children. She loved you, Jungkook.”

“In a lot of ways, she treated us all as though we were her children” Jimin added.

“But she even loved us as we became rotten teenagers,” Namjoon laughed. “Lots of people love cute little children. She even still loved us when we were awkward, gangly teenagers who made dumb decisions.”

“That’s because she would always say there was no such thing as a dumb decision. She’d chalk up even the biggest failure as just another way to learn or grow. She was all about helping us figure out our place in the world and what would make us happy instead of telling us what our role should be.” Yoongi shook his head sadly.

“That’s not a popular way to raise children here in Korea,” Taehyung mused. “Most parents are insistent on who their children should be. They feel it’s their responsibility.”

“Not her,” Yoongi continued. “She used to point out the hypocrisy of parents who say they’d do anything for their child, but the truth is they’d do anything except let them be who they are or who they want to be.”

“She really believed we each would find our way. Our path. And that a parent’s job was just to be a gentle guide and a safe place to fall.”

“True.” Jin added. “But she did have one thing she insisted on. The only thing she did insist is that we respect and care for each other. For this place.” He looked at Taehyung. “She would be thrilled with what you’ve been doing to save this mountain.” He reached over and squeezed Jungkook’s shoulder. “She would have been so proud of you both.”

Jungkook still looked sad. He looked so little. Taehyung took his hand. He wanted to reassure him privately and he didn’t want to wait. He hoped he would hear him.

We’ll save the mountain and the village, Jungkook. We’ll make her so proud.

He knew he was heard when Jungkook brought their clasped hands to his lips and kissed the back of Taehyung’s without a care that everyone was watching.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Standing half in and half out of the light coming from the window, Yoongi smoked a cigarette next to Jin, who rarely smoked, in the chilly February air as the evening ended and Taehyung and Jungkook emerged from the tavern.

“Night boys,” he called out.

They called back their appreciation for dinner and shoulder to shoulder started the walk up the hill to the cabin.

“Gonna need to bum one of those,” Jin turned to Yoongi in nervous anticipation.

Yoongi handed him a cigarette. Jin put it in his mouth and Yoongi lit it.

“Nervous?”

Jin took a long drag and exhaled the smoke into the darkness. “Aren’t you?”

They watched together as the two walked up the hill so close to each other that their steps aligned. All too soon, their steps led them far enough up the hill they were no longer even somewhat illuminated by the lights in the village.

When the darkness swallowed them up, Yoongi finally spoke.

“You think we made a mistake?”

“I don’t know. I mean it wouldn’t be the first one. It’s sort of what we seem to do best.”

“I think it’s going to be alright,” Yoongi assured him. “I can’t explain it, but even if they find out the whole truth, I don’t think it will change things between them. They look pretty solid to me.”

“Are you suggesting we tell them?” Jin looked warily at Yoongi.

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “I don’t know that we’re going to need to. I think they may stumble upon the truth on their own. It looks like it’s headed in that direction. Jungkook had a very specific memory of his mother. And did you see how he reacted about Joon taking Tae to the city for a few days?”

Jin took another long, nervous drag of his cigarette. “That doesn’t necessarily mean he knows what happened to his mother. It’s just he’s worried about losing Taehyung to the city.

“Yeah, but even that’s true, Jin, the memories are coming back.”

“Some maybe. I don’t think it’s out of the ordinary. Jungkook remembering his mom. And there’s been a few revived memories here and there. But that’s just a few.” Jin shook his head. “Taehyung didn’t seem to react to the picture.”

“Yeah, but he did know Sungwoon’s nickname. That’s a very specific detail. What if the memories of – “

“No, he didn’t remember that. Jimin must have told him.” Jin cut him off. “Ten years ago we all agreed. All five of us, that the past would stay buried in the past. To keep them safe. That we wouldn’t make either of them relive those memories.”

“Okay, but we if we don’t have a choice. What if the memories come back anyway?”

“They won’t.” Jin said with a certainty that was nothing more than an attempt to convince himself. “They’re together now and that’s what matters. They are where they should be. Together. And we just keep encouraging that.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Yoongi took another drag and nodded. “It’s good to see them together and so happy.”

“One thing though is still bothering me.” Jin kicked at some dirt. “Taehyung’s been coming to me for some small ailments. Dizziness. Occasional headaches. But they have gotten more frequent. Do you think there’s a chance?”

“Nothing about any of this was typical. It never was.” Yoongi sighed. “We just need to keep an eye on that.” He laughed and shook his head. “Of course, if you want to know anything about how Taehyung is feeling we just need to ask Jungkook. He literally never takes his eyes off him.”

“That’s for sure. He can’t stand to have him out of sight for long.” Jin clicked his tongue with certainty and resolve. “Yep, I’m sure of it. That’s the only reason Jungkook doesn’t want him to go into the city. I’m sure of it.”

Yoongi wasn’t convinced. “You’re sure it doesn’t have anything to do with his mother’s murder?”

“I’m sure,” Jin said decidedly. “He doesn’t remember that and I hope he never will.”

Chapter Text

Taehyung had tried to go to sleep after he and Jungkook walked back up the hill to the cabin, but he couldn’t. He realized this was the first night in quite a while that he had trouble. His thoughts wandered to the black wolf. How for months he couldn’t fall asleep without the howl, but eventually over the winter he found he was able to. He doubted that even the howl would help him sleep tonight.

He couldn’t stop thinking of Jungkook. Of the day and evening and everything that happened during the Lunar New Year celebration.  The way he looked when he came around the corner of the cabin in his blue green hanbok. His teasing about the hickeys. And then later the way he broke when he remembered his mother. How much he reminded Taehyung of a little boy. Just a little boy missing his mother. And then of course, how he could relate to that all too well to that grief.

 They had said very little on the walk back. When they entered the cabin, Taehyung had asked Jungkook if he was alright. To which Jungkook kissed him on the cheek and assured him he was as he closed the bathroom door. Leaving Taehyung standing in the living room completely uncertain how to help or what to say.

And something felt off, even though he couldn’t put his finger on it. They had both had a significant amount to drink. For much of the afternoon and evening he had anticipated that when they got back to the cabin, they would be unable to keep their hands off each other. But it had been an emotional evening and Jungkook looked worn out.

It seemed to be an unspoken but mutual decision between them. Jungkook seemed preoccupied with the memory he had of his mother. And Taehyung felt the heaviness of his sadness just as much as if it were his own.

it didn’t feel right to come back to the cabin and ravage each other. When Jungkook came out of the bathroom, Taehyung went in. But when he came out, the light was off and Jungkook was on the mattress. He paused for a moment, to give Jungkook a chance to say something before heading into the bedroom.

It was an odd situation. This was the first night in several weeks that they would be sleeping in different places. They had been sleeping, when they were actually sleeping, in the same place for at least part of the evenings. But tonight, Taehyung wasn’t sure what to do and his gut was telling him to give Jungkook the solitude that he sensed he needed.

But he couldn’t fall asleep enough to stay asleep, and after a while he was compelled to check on him.

He pulled off the covers and tiptoed toward the living room. If Jungkook was asleep, he didn’t want to wake him. But he was so much hoping that he wasn’t and that he would want to talk. Admittedly he usually wanted to do much more than just talk, but tonight was different.

What he wanted most of all was just to be with Jungkook.

Not that Taehyung knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, but it felt like the evening wasn’t supposed to be over yet.

The fire was low with the only light coming from the glistening embers.

But it was enough to set Jungkook’s face with a soft orange glow.

He was on his back and he looked like he was asleep.

As Taehyung got closer, he noticed that he had his right hand resting on his stomach and left arm was bent at the elbow with his hand above his shoulder next to his head.

He had to fight the urge to coo aloud when he saw that the hand was balled up into a fist. He couldn’t explain why, but there was something about the way he was laying. It reminded him of a baby. The little pout on his lips made him look so much younger than what he really was.

Even though he was asleep, Taehyung couldn’t turn away.

He sat down on the floor next to him. Thinking that if he didn’t disturb the mattress, Jungkook wouldn’t wake.

He was shirtless, and Taehyung wondered how he wasn’t cold with the blanket only coming up to his waist. The floor and the fire was warm, but there was still a chill in the air. Taehyung was only wearing his sweatpants, but he had been cocooned under the blankets on the bed. He realized he was chilly and longed to lay down on the mattress with Jungkook for the warmth.

He wondered if he could without waking him.

Jungkook’s lips pursed and he smacked them together a few times like he was chewing in his sleep. The fist near his head opened and then balled up again.

Taehyung couldn’t help himself.

He gently stroked the tops of Jungkook’s fingers. They loosen just enough and he slid his index finger onto Jungkook’s palm. His fingers closed around Taehyung’s.

He looked to Jungkook’s face, but there was no sign that he was waking. It must have been a reflex in his sleep.

Taehyung looked at his finger encased by the tightly closed fist.

He could try to slide it out, but he really didn’t want to. However, he was cold and didn’t really want to sit there all night.

Jungkook’s face was angelic but his body was something else entirely. Taehyung had tried to think of a time he had lusted so much after someone’s touch, but he never could come up with anything. His attraction to Jungkook was something he had never felt before.

He reasoned it was hard not to be. Jungkook was physically beautiful. He was hard and soft in all the right places. Over the past few weeks there were times that Taehyung couldn’t decide whether he wanted to fuck the daylights out of him or squish his cheeks together and peck his perfectly pouted lips. Most of the time he wanted to do both.

Jungkook didn’t seem close to waking.

Taehyung got bold. He leaned over and kissed his knuckles gently. He didn’t care if it would prompt Jungkook to let go of his finger or not. He just wanted to kiss him.

His skin was so soft for all the hard work he knew those hands had done. And his skin smelled as good as it always did. Sweet and spicy.

Jungkook’s knuckles loosened just a bit and Taehyung assumed it was just a reflex response to the kiss until his hand opened and he used the backs of his fingers to stroke across his cheek.

Taehyung froze. Unable to move or speak. He hadn’t planned on what he would do or say if he woke up.

“Hey,” Jungkook’s voice was deep with sleep, “I thought you’d gone to bed.”

Taehyung sat up and Jungkook pulled his hand back and rested it on his stomach with the other one.

“I did,” Taehyung tried to explain. “Well, I tried. But I couldn’t sleep.”

“What’s the matter?” Jungkook shifted slightly and tilted his head on the pillow.

Taehyung suddenly felt nervous. That was something new.

He had felt many different emotions in the company of Jungkook.

Frustration, desire, anger, passion, irritation. And maybe even a little bit - or rather a lot of nervous sexual tension.

But this was a different sort of nervousness all together.

The type of apprehensiveness that comes from concern. Wanting to ease someone else’s mind because it would ease your own. The fear that someone is hurting and you may not be able to stop it no matter how much you might want to.

“I just wanted to be certain you were alright.” He started to get up by bracing his hand against the floor. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Sorry.”

Jungkook quickly thrust his hand forward and firmly grabbed his wrist. Stopping him from getting up off the floor.

“Stay,” His fingers loosened only slightly. “I wasn’t asleep. I didn’t want to sleep without you.”

Taehyung looked down at the hand around his wrist. Jungkook stroked the skin there with his thumb.

“Lay with me, please.”

Taehyung took a deep breath and uttered a nearly silent “okay” as he climbed over Jungkook to lay next to him on the shikibuton.

Jungkook lifted the blanket so he could scoot under. Taehyung already knew Jungkook was shirtless, but he had trouble not noticing that he was only wearing boxer briefs on bottom.

They rolled to face each other. Taehyung tucked his hands underneath his cheek.

“I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to be alone or not. I wanted to give you your space if you needed it.”

“I didn’t need it. I was just afraid you might not see me the same. Or want to be with me after I started crying like – “

…a little girl. Boys don’t cry. Don’t you want grow up to be an alpha? Taehyung heard the words in his head, but they weren’t his own. And he certainly didn’t feel like that. It didn’t make any sense at all.

It was Jungkook’s voice. But by the look on Jungkook’s face, he hadn’t intended for Taehyung to hear it. If it was his own private thought or if it was just something Taehyung had heard somewhere. He wondered if it was just something they’d both heard somewhere.

“You okay?” Jungkook looked at him in concern.

“Yeah, I was just thinking that you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. That was a lot to process tonight. Memories of your mom coming back so suddenly like that. I don’t have a lot of my mom or anything when I was a lot younger and if those started coming back, I’d be freaked out.”

“I know. I just don’t want to look weak or like I’m not in control.”

“I didn’t think that at all, Jungkook. Not at all.” He put his hand on his hip. “You can always be completely yourself with me.”

“Tae, can I ask you something?”

“Sure anything.”

“Do you miss your mother, a lot?”

“Terribly,” Taehyung admitted. “I didn’t get to say goodbye. Not really. In some way, it felt like I’d been losing her for years, but I never thought it would actually happen.”

“Was she sick?”

Taehyung sighed. “In a manner of speaking yes. She was so sad. So sad. She always was. And she fought it so hard. For me. Until she just couldn’t fight it anymore. I think once I got my adult life established, she let go. She gave in and let all those years of sadness consume her.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Taehyung tried to reassure him and at the same time himself. “It wasn’t like she never had good days. She did. But I always knew there was something that had broken her heart.”

“What happened to your father? Did he leave her?”

“I honestly don’t know. She swore to me I didn’t have a father. I assumed that was her way of saying that he was so bad that it would better to just never speak of him at all. That would be upsetting and a type of heartbreak for her. But I don’t think that was why she was heartbroken.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just the way she spoke about. It the heartbreak of losing something that was good. Something that she loved. If I had a father, I don’t think he would have fit that description. She actually said as much.” He pulled the blanket up over Jungkook’s shoulder when he saw him shiver. “No, I think she lost something that she loved and missed every day of her life. And that is what broke her heart.”

“I don’t remember my parents together even though I know they were. But I did have a kind of memory pop up about him a week or so ago. Recently, the sporadic memories that I’ve had of him are so sad.”

“They make you sad?”

“Sort of. But it’s more that he’s so sad. I assume he would have been because the village basically fell apart. He must have felt responsible for everyone. And then when everyone got sick. And Jin did tell me that my mother died first and my father not long after. I think I’m having memories of him after she died. And if he loved her as much as they say he did, then he would have been heartbroken.”

Jungkook closed his eyes and swallowed. “I never imagined it would be possible to die from a broken heart, but I am afraid it might be.” He opened his eyes and looked into Taehyung’s. “You going to the city…I just…what would happen if you didn’t come back. I think I would die of a broken heart.”

“Jungkook, why do you think that? Why are you so against me going? It’s only going to be for a couple of days. And the whole reason I have to go is so that I can come back here and finish out the spring on the mountain. I can’t keep borrowing your clothes. And I’m just going to grab some stuff and do some interviews.”

“I know.” Jungkook said simply.

“If you know then why is it upsetting you so much?”

“I just need you to be careful, okay? I have a horrible feeling about you going into the city.”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung hoped he wasn’t coming off as condescending, but the worry seemed so unwarranted, “I’ve lived in the city and traveled all over the place.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know about it.”

Taehyung smiled gently and moved a ringlet back from Jungkook’s cheek. “Trust me, I’m coming back. I think we actually have a chance of beating this committee decision and making sure your home is safe for a long time to come.”

“It’s not just my home,” he muttered.

“Right, I meant for all of you guys. And for all animals and plants, and everything up here on the mountain.”

Jungkook nodded, but he was still much sadder than Taehyung had expected. He wanted to cheer him up. Give him something to look forward to. He thought about telling him that the mountain felt like home, even though it wasn’t his home. But he didn’t know how to explain that.

“You know, this series won’t be as labor intensive as the initial piece was. That means I’m going to have more free time.” He rubbed down Jungkook’s arm until he got to his hand and he took it in his own. “How about we work on that garden together. Spring is coming. Won’t you be planting soon? I could help. Surely you could use an extra pair of hands?”

Jungkook pulled their clasped hands up to his mouth and kissed the back of Taehyung’s. “Yeah, that would be good. It’s time to start prepping the garden for planting. And considering how impressive your hands are… maybe you’ve got a green thumb as well.”

The levity on Jungkook’s face was short lived. When his countenance fell again, Taehyung got worried.

He stroked his cheek. “What is it?”

Jungkook closed his eyes. “Do you ever feel like you’ve lost something or you’re missing something and you aren’t even sure what it is. But you just feel that…that loss. That longing.”

Taehyung did know. And even though he was excellent with words, he didn’t think he could have phrased it any better than Jungkook had.

“Yeah, I do. I know exactly what you mean.” His eyes were filled with compassion. “Is that what you feel right now?”

“Not at this moment, no.” Jungkook sighed. “But I’ve felt it for as long as I can remember. It almost began to feel like that was normal. Then it stopped.” He paused and as hard as it was for Taehyung to wait, he had to let him finish. “But I’m going to feel that way again when you leave.”

Taehyung was speechless. Of all the things going through his mind, he couldn’t settle on one thing to say. He wasn’t sure any of it would even be a good enough response. Using simple words as reassurance.

He wondered if this all-consuming feeling was love.

And again, he couldn’t find the words even for himself.

Jungkook suddenly looked very small as they lay face to face. He put his hand on the back of his head and pulled his forehead into his chest. Placing his other arm over the top of his hair.

Jungkook didn’t resist in the slightest. He buried his face into the middle of Taehyung’s chest and put his arm around his waist.

Taehyung kissed the top of his head and threaded his fingers through the hair at the back.

If there had been any good words to say in the moment, he couldn’t find them.

And so he did the thing that he wanted to do the most. He’d been wanting to do it all day. Just to hold Jungkook.

They laid in silence just like that for long enough that it became apparent they were going to fall asleep.

But before they did, Taehyung had one burning question he whispered into the top of his head.

“Jungkook?”

There was no answer, but he had to ask anyway.

“Earlier today while Hobi and I were cooking…where were you and the other guys?”

He couldn’t tell if the breath on his chest was Jungkook sleeping or if he was still awake. It was warm and he didn’t want to move him or pull back.

Even when the question went unanswered and he eventually let himself drift off to sleep.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Jungkook woke slowly feeling fully rested even after only a few hours sleep. Taehyung was clinging to him, but he didn’t mind.

He didn’t remember falling asleep last night, but he knew for certain it was after Taehyung asked his question.

For a while, he had considered answering. Something in him wanted to answer. Being a wolf was a huge part of his life and it felt unnatural to be unable to share it with Taehyung.

He had wanted to tell him how that morning the guys had all shifted and ran and how good it felt. So good in fact, that only the thought of Taehyung waiting at the tavern with rice cake soup was enough to make him ready to shift back and put on his hanbok.

But he wasn’t sure he was ready. Taehyung seemed accepting of a lot of things, but he still worried that finding out about the pack could be too much for him. And with Taehyung getting ready to head to the city, that was a chance he couldn’t take. What if it freaked him out and made him change his mind and decide to not come back to the mountain.

It was safer at least for now to keep it a secret.

He laid for a moment thinking, but the moon was calling him. On new moons, the moon rose at the same time as the sun. He could feel in his bones that the sun wasn’t far off from rising even though it was still completely dark out.

He carefully removed Taehyung’s arm from around his midsection and placed his own pillow in his spot as he rose from the mattress. Taehyung immediately gripped the pillow and rolled over clutching it to his chest without ever waking up.

By the low firelight, he found his sweatpants, and then his shoes by the front door, foregoing a shirt as he wasn’t going to go too far and he wouldn’t be out long.

He quietly opened the door and walked around to the side of the cabin that looked down onto the village. Staring off into the east, being a new moon of course, he couldn’t even see a pale outline of the silvery moon coming up over the horizon.

But he knew she was there.

He normally would have shifted and ran, but this morning was different.

Taehyung was laying warm and half naked in his cabin. And that was where he wanted to be. But he had to do this first.

“Dalmin,” his breath clouded into the cold air. “I believe you’ve brought him to us for a reason. You’ve brought him to me. And know that I’m grateful. Beyond grateful. But please don’t take him from me. I’ve never asked you for anything – at least not that I can remember – so I beg of you now. Please bring him safely back to me. Please return him home to the mountain.”

The bluish morning light was beginning to glow on the horizon as Jungkook bowed his head in reverence and held a moment of silence. He didn’t expect her to answer, he simply wanted to make his plea. But he felt her wordless comfort. Giving one last look around the mountain, he breathed deeply the pre-dawn air into his lungs and headed back into the cabin.

He tiptoed across the floor as quietly as possible. Taehyung was still clutching the pillow and appeared to be still asleep, but he discovered that was not the case the moment he slowly slid in behind him on the mattress.

“You left me laying here all cold and by myself.”

Jungkook rubbed down Taehyung’s hip and thigh, kissing the top of his shoulder. “I put the pillow in my place.”

“Not the same,” Taehyung humphed without turning around. “And where have you been? Your skin is freezing cold.”

Jungkook nuzzled closer. “I went outside for a moment.”

“Is it morning yet?”

“Close but not quite.”

Jungkook could hardly contain himself. The back of Taehyung’s neck smelled amazing. He cuddled up as close as he could and it still wasn’t even near close enough.

He pressed his body against Taehyung’s back. He could feel himself getting hard, and he knew it would soon become impossible to hide, but he didn’t care.

“You know you’re going to miss the next full moon bonfire?” Jungkook whispered.

Taehyung laughed and backed up against him playfully. “That’s unfortunate considering how much fun we had on the last full moon. You’re something else on a full moon.”

“It doesn’t have to be a full moon,” Jungkook tightened him arms and kissed his neck. “I can be amazing anytime. On any moon.”

“Oh, you think so,” Taehyung teased as he turned his head just enough to look at him through the corner of his eye.

“I know so,” Jungkook pulled Taehyung closer and kissed the apple of his cheek, pausing there. “I want you, Tae. I want you so much right now.”

“You’ve got me right here,” Taehyung giggled.

Jungkook pressed up against his back, making his intentions known as he whispered into Taehyung’s neck. “Laying here with you, I just feel like if I don’t watch myself, I could lose control.”

“I’m intrigued,” Taehyung dropped the pillow he was holding and turned over to face him. “What would it look like for you to lose control? Because it already seems like we get pretty lost in each other.”

Jungkook knew what he wanted. He’d been thinking about it for at least a week. Longer if he was being honest with himself. But he didn’t know how to ask. He wasn’t sure if Taehyung would want it as well.

He kissed Taehyung’s lips and then pulled back to look him in the eye. “I want to get closer. I want to get even more lost in you.”

“In me?”

Jungkook closed his eyes in embarrassment. “If you’re not into that or you just – “

“Shh.” Taehyung put his index finger to his lips. “I want it too.”

Jungkook swallowed hard. He hadn’t expected Taehyung to say no, but he also hadn’t expected a yes. “It’s just I don’t know if I know how to do this right. And I don’t want to hurt you.”

Taehyung kissed him tenderly and then didn’t move back. His lips moved over Jungkook’s. “You won’t. Just take your time. We have plenty of time. And if it doesn’t happen now. It will eventually.”

Jungkook pulled him close and caught his mouth firmly with his own. Moving his head to get the kiss as deep as possible. His hand trailed down Taehyung’s naked back until he reached his ass. He had touched it many times before. Grabbed it in the heat of passion. He had even shyly kissed the cheek when they’d gone down on each other.

But this was different. A wave of possessiveness hit him.

He pulled at the waistband of the boxers and lowered them until they rested at the base of his ass. Taehyung’s response could be felt in his kiss as he put both hands on the sides of his face and kissed him deeply. Getting deeper each time Jungkook pulled and stroked at his ass cheeks. His hand squeezed and kneaded the plump skin. When he couldn’t get enough with one hand, his other hand came around Taehyung’s waist and pressed into the flesh of his cheek. Until he couldn’t resist any longer and his finger crept closer and closer.

Taehyung gasped into the kiss and threw his head back in ecstasy. “Yes, right here. Please Jungkook.”

Jungkook clung tighter. His hands exploring in places he had only dreamed of.

As his finger broached the crack, he felt something unexpected. Even though he had never had sex before, he didn’t expect any lubrication. In fact, he had planned on needing something which is why he had made sure that there was still plenty left in the bottle they had been using on occasion for hand jobs.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung whispered at the pause in Jungkook’s finger.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jungkook assured him. “You’re just kind of wet. It surprised me.”

Taehyung extended his arm around to feel for himself. “Oh, I don’t know. That’s never happened before.” He paused. “I’m sorry. We can stop.”

“No, please,” Jungkook tightened his grip. As he kissed over Taehyung’s chin and down to his neck. “I don’t want to stop. Do you want to stop?”

“Not at all,” Taehyung whispered, “But if you’re weirded out – “

“No,” Jungkook cut him of with a fierce and desperate kiss, “I’m not. I want you.” His fingers gingerly prodded the hole finding it much easier to enter with the lubrication already present.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” Taehyung hissed. “Fuck.”

“Am I hurting you?”

“No, no. It feels good. Please. Keep going. Please.”

Jungkook focused all his attention on preparing Taehyung. His kisses swallowing each gasp and groan that intensified the more he touched him as he clung on to Jungkook as if to save his very life.

Jungkook’s hard cock rubbed against Taehyung’s. Against his stomach. He wrapped his fist around himself. Thinking that if he didn’t get inside of Taehyung soon, he was going to burst.

Almost on queue, Taehyung broke the kiss and looked into Jungkook’s eyes. He placed one lingering chaste kiss on his lips and smiled. Rolling over onto his side facing away. He put his arm over the back of his head until his hand found the back of Jungkook’s neck.

Scooting his ass closer to Jungkook’s cock he whispered, “I’m ready for you. Now, baby.”

Jungkook hand was steady, although his insides were shaking as he lined his dick up against Taehyung’s hole and pushed in just a little.

“You alright?” He whispered into his ear. Nearly blinded by the intoxicating scent coming from Taehyung’s exposed neck.

Taehyung nodded slowly and hummed his affirmation. “You?”

Jungkook wanted to say perfect, or better than alright or anything to explain the absolute and utter bliss he was feeling. The primal want that coursed through him. But the words were stuck in his throat unlike the tears that threatened to spill from his tightly closed eyes as he slowly pushed himself completely inside.

Two weeks passed far too quickly and Jungkook found himself standing next to the bonfire, wishing that Taehyung wasn’t in the city.

He had volunteered to start the fire before everyone else arrived. Usually, Jin would take care of it, but he was restless and wanted something to do.

The fire crackled next to his boots as he stared down into the flames.

A streak of panic gripped him. His breath shallowed and his thoughts began to race.

He tried to follow them fearlessly, fighting through the panic.

It was a memory.

But it was just out of his reach and he couldn’t catch it.

“The fire,” he mumbled to himself as he grimaced in phantom pain.

“Yeah, looks great.” He hadn’t noticed Jimin and the others had arrived at the circle. “Thank you for getting it going.”

Jungkook looked up in confusion. “What?”

“The fire,” Jimin motioned. “It looks warm.  I was just saying thanks for starting it.”

“Are you alright, Jungkook?” Jin looked at him with concern.

“Yeah, yeah,” he shook it off. The moment of panic. The thoughts that would lead him to the memory he wasn’t sure he would ever get to. He hadn’t enjoyed being the center the attention in the tavern on Soleil when he had become overwhelmed by the memory of his mother. He didn’t want a repeat of that.

Whatever this beckoning memory was, it was in the past. He resolved he wasn’t going to let those unsettle him anymore. The past was gone. He had seen a future. Specifically, a future with Taehyung and he was going to put all his energy towards that future from here on out.

He took the warm mug, in which he hoped there was some alcohol, Jin offered him, backed up and sat down, painfully aware of the empty space next to him.

“Got a text from Joon,” Jin sat down across the fire. “Things sound hopeful. Taehyung’s done so many interviews his voice is hoarse.”

Jungkook nodded. It was one of the few times he regretted not having a phone.

“He also said Taehyung’s chomping at the bit to get back here. He wants to start working on the next weekly piece right away so he can get it approved and published before next weekend.”

Jungkook tempered his face so as to not show his disappointment.

Jin used his foot to play with some rocks in front of him. “Also said he thought he was missing you.”

“Tae said that?” Jungkook looked up quickly.

“I don’t know. That’s just what Joon said.”

“I think it’s safe to say he does,” Hobi interjected as he took a sip from his mug. “It’s pretty obvious, Jungkook.”

Jungkook made a scoffing noise with a face to match. “What? What’s obvious? That Taehyung misses the mountain, and you guys, and everything?”

“And everything,” Jimin teasingly repeated.

“Hey Jimin,” Jungkook could always count on Yoongi. “Given any more thought to contacting Sungwoon?”

Jungkook was relieved to no longer be on the hot seat. And he was also curious. Taehyung had seemed to know more and be more interested in Sungwoon than Jungkook would have expected. He and Jimin had always been friends, but he hadn’t ever really mentioned his first love before.

Jimin look down bashfully then up at Jin. “Actually, yes. Jin and I had an idea after Solleil.”

“Let’s hear it!” Hobi called out excitedly as he grabbed Yoongi’s hand and scooted closer.

Jimin cleared his throat and looked around. “Well, we talked about hosting something here for Children’s Day. But because we don’t have any kids in the village anymore, I thought I might contact him. You know he runs the youth center and they work with the orphanages and homeless teens… so you know.”

“That’s an incredible idea.” Hobi turned to Jin. “We could do food and games? Make it really special.”

“We could even put together some gifts.” Yoongi offered.

“That’d be a great idea,” Jin confirmed.

“I haven’t contacted him yet though,” Jimin said hesitantly. “He could say no.”

“Why in the world would he say no?” Hobi exclaimed. “It would be so cool.”

Jungkook was only half listening as the conversation continued. The flames on the fire were getting too low and it needed another piece of wood. The others hadn’t noticed yet.

And he would have gotten up to take care of it already, but he was paralyzed with thoughts. Staring at the burning embers he couldn’t stop thinking of Taehyung. Everything that had happened between them. And what might happen when he got back.

He worried that a few days in the city might have made him realize that there was a whole world out there and that life on the mountain wasn’t it. That there was more than the village and Jungkook. And that once he finished these final writing assignments he would decide to return to his previous life.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He knew one thing for certain. Even if Taehyung could return to his previous live, Jungkook could not.

He spent the next few days, as February gave way to March, cleaning up around the cabin. It was an early spring cleaning, but he reasoned it was a good way to spend his time while he waited for Taehyung to return.

He also attacked the clutter in the closet, subconsciously hoping that by making more room for Taehyung that he might feel even more at home when he returned. And if he felt at home, then it might increase the chance that he wanted to stay and make the mountain his home too.

As cluttered closets go, it wasn’t that bad, but there were things that he had put away years ago that he hadn’t seen or touched in all that time.

One thing in particular was the box that held his mother’s ashes. Ironically, they had lived in the cabin longer than he had. After her death and the loss of his memories, he would go to the cabin regularly for silence and comfort. He used it as a sort of retreat and it was one of the places he felt closest to her. He had always felt it beckon to his heart. And when was in his late teens, a few years after she died when Namjoon and Jin agreed to let him, he had decided to make the cabin his home. The box had been one of the things left in the cabin with some of the furniture.

But seeing the box on the mantle every day had been too painful. One Sunday night he had pulled it into his arms, kissed the top and put them at the back of the closet. Apologizing aloud to her that he was sorry, but the ashes were a reminder that she would never be back and that he may never remember her fully.  And in order to make a new start as an adult, as the Alpha of the pack, he needed to focus on his new role.

He had always known it was in there, but until today had never felt compelled to retrieve it.

Standing in the middle of the closet, he awkwardly embraced the simple box. “I’m sorry Eomma. I was young and I didn’t know how to handle the pain and the missing memories. But I am getting better. And I want you to see that. I want to think about you every day. I want to remember more of you.” He placed the box of ashes on the bookshelf in the living room hoping that perhaps even more memories would resurface now.

There were also plenty of things he was able to pull out and set aside to get rid of. Some of it old clothes, sports and workout equipment, and some random items that he thought might be able to get a second life if he donated to the youth shelter. He boxed up everything and set it by the door to take down to the tavern later.

Jin had invited him down for dinner which was still a few hours away. Taehyung and Namjoon would be returning tomorrow and he sensed that Jin offered him dinner as a way to pass the time together tonight as tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough for either of them.

Even though Jin didn’t usually express his feelings openly, Jungkook knew that he missed Namjoon terribly and hated it when he was gone for more than a few days. Namjoon’s apartment in the city was more of a workspace that he only used for overnights when he had too.

The thought reminded Jungkook that Taehyung had an apartment in the city as well. And he wondered if he was still paying his lease, or when it would be up, and when that happened, would he renew it.

He decided not to dwell on it. But telling himself to disregard those insecurities and doing it were two very different things.

In moments like this, during Taehyung’s absence, he had taken solace in Taehyung’s scent that lingered in his clothes and blankets.

The bed in his bedroom had been a repository of sorts for Taehyung’s clothes. Rather than wash them with his own, as he had planned to do, he couldn’t bring himself too. And he had piled them onto the bed, where the unwashed sheets already smelled like Taehyung.

Even though it was a messy pile, which he usually didn’t like, he took to sleeping there while Taehyung was gone. And at other times, he would just take a moment to lay back in the clothing and pause for a moment as he indulged in his daydreams.

This was one of those times when he needed to take a moment.

He went to the bed and pulled Taehyung’s grey t-shirt from the pile. It was one he often wore to bed and because of that, it was strong with his scent.

Jungkook closed his eyes and lifted the crumpled shirt to his nose. He inhaled deeply. He’d never smelled anything like Taehyung. Even when he first met him, his scent was the first thing he noticed. No one else seemed to notice it as much as he did. He’d asked the other and they had remarked that Taehyung smelled normal.

They simply didn’t smell what Jungkook did.

He took another deep breath and reminded himself that tomorrow at this time, Taehyung would be back on the mountain.

He would be safe. He would be home.

“I hope you washed that, it probably reeks of my sweat,” a deep voice whispered from right behind him.

He hadn’t heard anyone come in. He’d been so absorbed in the shirt and missing him, he hadn’t even sensed or smelled him.

Spinning quickly, he nearly bumped noses with Taehyung. He tossed the shirt on the bed.

“What? When did you get? I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow?”

Taehyung grinned as he observed the pile of clothes on the bed.

“Did you wash all of those for me?”

“No,” Jungkook stammered, “I was just getting ready to before you came back.”

Taehyung’s widened smile made Jungkook think that he might have known that he hadn’t been planning to wash them at all.

“I’m here now. So I’ll wash them.” He moved closer to Jungkook, but didn’t touch him.

“Oh, okay,” Jungkook looked down at the space between them. Embarrassed and wondering how long he had been in the cabin and if he’d witnessed him inhaling his shirt.

Taehyung moved his face closer and leaned in to graze his lips and nose along Jungkook’s cheek while he whispered. “Aren’t you going to tell me you missed me?”

Jungkook stomach leapt. He wondered how he could feel so ridiculously shy. He had really been caught off guard. “Yeah. I did.” His hands found Taehyung’s hips. “I didn’t think I’d see you until tomorrow.”

Taehyung wrapped his arms around and put his hands on Jungkook’s lower back. Kissed his cheek and fully embraced him, resting his head on his shoulder. “We were supposed to come back tomorrow, but I hurried to pack up my stuff and asked Joon if we could come back today instead.”

Jungkook relaxed into the embrace. Pulling Taehyung closer in it. “I’m glad.” He found his neck with his nose and inhaled. “But why?”

He felt Taehyung’s body jiggle with a laugh. “What do you mean why? Because I missed you of course.” Kissing his shoulder. “I missed you a lot.”

Jungkook wanted to say several things. But nothing would come out. He hugged Taehyung tighter. He hoped that Taehyung knew what he wanted to say anyway.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Between writing the continuing bi-weekly feature on the topic of spring on the mountain and its importance in the ecosystem, with Jungkook’s help of course, they also began work on the garden behind the tavern in mid-March.

Jungkook had insisted that Taehyung didn’t have to help with the garden, he would take care of it, but Taehyung was more insistent. Claiming he owed Jungkook, and all the guys really, for their hospitality. It only made sense that he contributed some labor.

That wasn’t the only reason.

After spending the past six months on the mountain, with the most recent three living with Jungkook, he had found that he truly enjoyed spending time with him. True, he had always been more of an indoor guy. Choosing to read or write in his room in the city. But in the short time he’d been with the others, he had found he enjoyed pushing his body. Whether that be with manual labor or in private with Jungkook.

Jungkook, of course, secretly hoped that Taehyung wanted to work with him in the garden not simply because he felt obligated but more importantly because he wanted to be together.

And because it weighed on his mind, even once they started the arduous and time-consuming process of preparing the land for planting, he couldn’t help but notice that the weeks passed far too quickly and one day Taehyung would write his last word on the mountain and then leave.

The domestic routine they settled into was something that Jungkook never knew he wanted. Now that he had it, it didn’t think he could ever let it go.

Jin and Jimin and the others were busy with spring cleaning and preparing for the Children’s Day celebration at the beginning of May. Now that it was confirmed that Sungwoon would be bringing a group of older kids and teens.

On the first day of spring, everyone was in good spirits. With the type of hope that the first day of spring seems to always bring.

Jin had been helping Jimin and Namjoon repaint the tavern and the kitchen, but after Namjoon had spilled paint on the floor the second time, he sought the refuge of the garden to calm his nerves.

He was sitting on a chair in the sun behind the tavern with a notebook making plans and grocery list for the Children’s Day festivities. Every now and then he would yell out an idea to Taehyung and Jungkook who were working diligently in the garden.

Jungkook was working on clearing out some dead vegetation and weeds, while Taehyung was digging and turning over the soil a short distance away in an area of the garden that hadn’t been able to successfully grow much of anything.

Taehyung had just barely started when his shovel hit something hard about a foot down. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with digging out a rock, so he took a few steps to the right and thrust his shovel in. He hit something again, but this time it was the edge of a hard object. His curiosity piqued he knelt to the ground and began to dig around the item with his hand attempting to unearth it.

Once he finally got it dislodged from the ground, he pulled it out, turned it over it his hands.

It was about a foot long and a few inches wide. It looked like a nearly disintegrated piece of burnt wood. He laid it on the ground and picked up his shovel. Heading back to the first obstruction in the dirt, he purposely tried to the find the edge of the item, and then getting on his knees again, he was able to dig around it, eventually pulling it from the ground. It was a piece of twisted metal, but nothing he could recognize.

It seemed like the more he dug and the more dirt he turned over the more items he unearthed. Some metal, some wood, and then he noticed the small pieces of glass.

Jungkook approached from behind. “Hey, you haven’t got very far on this patch, I’ll go get the other shovel and help.”

“No,” Taehyung shook his head. “Hold on a minute.”

He pointed to the items he had piled up on the ground. “Look at this stuff I pulled out.”

Jungkook picked up the piece of wood first. “Just a charred piece of wood.” He picked at the burnt parts. “Maybe someone used to use this area for a fire pit.”

“Yeah, but look at this,” Taehyung picked up on of the pieces of metal. He handed it to Jungkook. “And this this one here,” picking up another piece, “this looks like a pipe that melted.”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook shrugged. Nothing’s ever been here since for as long as I can remember except the garden.” He stopped and corrected himself. “Well, supposed to be a garden if anything would grow here.”

“Hey Jin!’ Taehyung called out. “Come here and look at this stuff.”

“This one’s weird,” Jungkook picked it up and held it out to Jin as he approached. “Looks like somebody melted one of your kitchen tongs.

Taehyung looked at the item in Jungkook’s hand. “No those aren’t tongs. That’s like forceps or something. And look this twisted thing used to be scissors. And that looks like a half-melted tray.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jungkook looked at the growing pile in confusion. He’d tried to plant a few things in the area before, but he’d never dug down as far as Taehyung had.

“I used to be fascinated with television medical dramas,” Taehyung laughed. “I never went to the doctor once growing up. My mom never trusted them. I watched them any chance I got in college.”

Jin had been standing in silent observation. He looked over at the random items on the ground. The charred pieces of wood, twisted metal, and shards of glass.

“Did something burn down here?” Taehyung asked the obvious. “Remember Jungkook, you said the clinic burned down. Was this where the clinic was?”

Jungkook stared at the debris on the ground, but didn’t answer.

Jin nodded slowly and didn’t take his eyes off Jungkook as he answered. “Yes, about a decade ago. It sat right here on this plot of land. It burned to the ground and would have taken the tavern with it had it not been for the rains.”

“Jin,” Jungkook frowned frustrated. “You never told me the fire was here. In the garden.” He pointed to the ground. “No wonder I haven’t had any luck. Did anyone ever do any soil remediation?”

“No,” Jin admitted. “Honestly, I thought we had all the debris cleaned out. But this area floods so much maybe some of the remains that we didn’t remove have shifted around.”

“It floods because the soil’s bad and can’t take in the water as well as it should.” Jungkook was clearly agitated.

“Sorry, I guess it was just such a crazy time, everything pretty much happened all at once and when it burned down, we just cleaned up the mess, or thought we did. It didn’t occur to me to consider the soil.”

He looked truly apologetic. “Is there something that can be done now?”

Jungkook looked over the garden area. “Yeah, it won’t be a quick fix, but we can start in some of the areas we haven’t planted to improve the dirt. And things like sunflowers and pumpkins. We can plant those and they can help remove some of the toxins.”

“We can also get a better head start next year.” Taehyung tried to offer encouragement. “And you know if we need to start some of the plants inside, we could build a little greenhouse.

Jungkook kicked a clod of dirt under his feet. “I’m pissed at myself too. I should have realized it was the soil. I should have asked you about what was on the land before. I just assumed that everything grows so well up there near the cabin It didn’t occur to me that the soil down here would be different.”

Taehyung sensed the irritation from Jungkook, but he also sensed the relief. For years he had blamed himself. Thinking that he wasn’t skilled enough to keep the garden growing like it should. Turned out there wasn’t much he could have done despite his best efforts.

“It’s my fault.” Jin seemed angry. At himself? At what it didn’t seem clear. “I should have told you about it.”

“I knew the clinic caught on fire.” Jungkook reassured him. “I just didn’t know it was right here.” He pointed at the ground around them.

“It didn’t catch fire,” Jin mumbled. “Someone intentionally set it on fire.”

Taehyung and Jungkook glanced at each other silently. Then back to Jin. He was looking down at the dirt. His face was pinched in anger and his voice was tense, but resolute.

“Someone?” Taehyung asked carefully.

“It was a tiny pathetic clinic. We didn’t need it anyway. That type of medicine. But as glad as I was to be rid of it. I still hate the way it all happened.” He paused and then looked up at them. “My father is the one who started the fire.

“Your father?” Taehyung gasped. “Why?”

“The doctor who ran the clinic, Chan Jaeseok, was good friends with Jungkook’s father. But he was not a good man.  Even though your father was. He didn’t really see Jaeseok for who he was until it was too late. He tried in every smarmy underhanded way he could to get everyone to think the way he did. He had some really fucked up beliefs about society and how women were only good for having children. And how having children was the most important thing. Which was pretty ironic considering he was a terrible parent to the children he claimed as his own. But he believed that the population in the village was dwindling because the bloodlines were weak and he did a lot of damage to a lot of people trying to ‘fix’ what he thought was broken. Mostly I think he wanted only men, specifically his sons to run the village. He saw kids as currency. A way to have more power.”

“His sons?” Taehyung looked between Jungkook and Jin, but neither looked his way. They were staring at each other.

“Sons in name. For the most part they were orphans too. But officially they belonged to Jaeseok. I say belonged because he didn’t act like parent. Hell, we don’t even know if they were biologically his sons. He would take off for small periods of time and come back with a baby or little child. No one ever wanted to marry him so I find it hard to believe he found any woman to just sleep with him and give up the child.” Jin shook his head. “I don’t think anyone ever believed they were his, but they were here and like I told you, Haena was an angel and she loved children. She couldn’t turn anyone away. Especially if it meant she could keep them from being raised by that monster.”

“He went as far to try to make it so no one could refuse to have children. And people who weren’t bearing children were called in for random medical checks. Your dad trusted him. And that was a huge mistake. It caused many in the village to start leaving. He hurt a lot of people…”

Jin’s voice trailed off. Tears had been building in his eyes. It was difficult for Taehyung and Jungkook to watch him in so much pain.

He swallowed. His eyes glossed with tears. “I was an only child. But when I was a teenager, my mom miraculously got pregnant. My parents didn’t think they could have any more children. But maybe because she was older, the pregnancy was all wrong. And shortly after she found out she was pregnant she started having pain and bleeding. The baby was growing outside the uterus so it wasn’t going to survive. Haena offered to give her the treatment to end the pregnancy, but Jaeseok wouldn’t allow it. He convinced parents that if the just wanted a little longer everything would be fine. But it wasn’t. And eventually it ruptured the tube and she died before we could get to the city.” Jin’s voice became angry. “He didn’t even try to save her.”

Jungkook touched his arm. “I’m so sorry, Jin.”

“My father and I…man, I thought we were going to die from the grief. He started drinking a lot and I took over the tavern and helped with the kids, and let your mom teach me everything about natural medicine.” He wiped his eye to stop a tear from falling. “My dad got his revenge when he set the clinic on fire a few years later.”

“Was anyone hurt?” A chill went up Taehyung’s back as he waited for Jin to answer.

“A lot of people.” Jin sniffed. “But yes, Jaeseok and my father both died in the fire.”

“So you lost both your parents too?” Taehyung's skin was crawling with the instinct to ask more questions.

Jin nodded. “I lost them. And you lost yours, Jungkook. That's why I’ve always tried to protect you.” Earnestly he grabbed his shoulder. “You believe that don’t you? You believe that I have always tried to do what’s best for you.”

“Yes, of course,” Jungkook put his hand on Jin’s. “I know you have, Jin.”

The emotional moment turned into an embrace. Jin’s tears fell as Jungkook reassured him that he wasn’t angry that he hadn’t told him about the fire that occurred in the garden.

As much as he wanted to keep asking more, the scene before him was too precious. And it looked to be much needed between the two.

He would have to wait until later to ask about one of the details Jin implied but didn’t explicitly state. Even without the confirmation, in his gut he felt he knew he was right.

Chan Jaesoek was not only the doctor in the village.

But also, the father of Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon.

He was the villain in Jin’s story.

And perhaps in other people’s stories too.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Even though Jungkook wanted to be fully with Taehyung as much as possible when he came back and prepping the garden had given him the opportunity to do so, as the weeks wore on, he tried to give Taehyung some space. While Taehyung was writing, he would find various things to do around the cabin, never wanting to stray too far.

He had come outside to collect some branches that had fallen after a crazy April wind a week or so ago and to give Taehyung some time to write in private. However, once he got to the porch of the cabin, the warm sun shining on his favorite chair was impossible to ignore. And so, he sat down to close his eyes and leaned his head back for just a few minutes.

Living with Taehyung in the cabin in the spring was a whole new type of bliss. Even though it could be a little exhausting that they could hardly keep their hands and mouths off each other. The contentment of spending every day together, cooking, walking the mountain and just being together in every way possible was more than Jungkook had ever hoped for his life.

At some point he must have dozed off, but he immediately woke when the screen door he had just reinstalled slammed as Taehyung emerged from the cabin.

“I have to say, you were right about the mountain in the spring.” Taehyung took a deep breath. “This is incredible.”

“Right?” Jungkook yawned as he stretched in his chair. “Every day gets even better than the next.” He stopped and then added. “Until the summer monsoon season, that is.”

“Oh yeah?” Taehyung turned to him. “It’s pretty bad in the city. Does it get bad here?”

“Not bad, I guess.” Jungkook corrected himself. “It just gets very humid and wet. And sometimes the rain comes for weeks. The first few days can be nice. And a random thunderstorm here or there is nice. But after a while, it just feels like it might never stop.”

“Geez, you’re painting such a pretty picture I can’t wait.”

Jungkook laughed. “Don’t worry, we’ll deal with it when it comes.” He closed his eyes again, arms still crossed in front of him and leaned his head back onto the chair.

He felt Taehyung’s soft kiss on his forehead and he reopened one eye, squinting up into the handsome face hovering over his.

“You wouldn’t want to take a walk, would you?”

“I thought you were writing?”

“I am, but I need a break. And a walk sounds good.”

Jungkook jumped up in the least eager way possible, but he couldn’t help himself. The idea of walking through the emerging spring woods on this beautiful morning hand in hand with Taehyung appealed to the most romantic side of himself. The side of himself he had never even caught a glimpse of prior to last autumn.

Holding out his hand to Taehyung who quickly took it with a shy smile, they stepped off the porch.

Without even meaning to, their footsteps took them toward the clearing and the waterfall. Jungkook didn’t even realize it until they were nearly upon it and Taehyung commented on the smell.

“What is that scent?” He sniffed into the air as he let go of Jungkook’s hand and took some steps to look around. “It’s a so sweet, but it’s lovely.”

Jungkook knew exactly what it was.

He took Taehyung’s hand in his again and led him to the source. A series of bushes in the clearing about waist high. Most of the flowers were still closed, but a few blooms had opened.

“It’s these. They’re peonies.”

He let go of Taehyung’s hand and pinched off one of the large white petaled flowers. He shook it a few times.

“Just to make sure there aren’t any ants on it. They help it to bloom.”

“Ah.” Taehyung buried his nose in the flower petals and took a deep inhale. “Yep, that’s the smell I was smelling.”

When he pulled back with a sigh, Jungkook brought the flower to his own nose. That smell.

Sweet, but sad.

The scent beckoned a memory, but he shook it off before it could take hold.

The present. Right now. That was what mattered.

It was a lovely morning. And he was staring at a lovely man who was smart and funny. Handsome and kind. It seemed almost unreal that in just six months almost everything had changed. Or maybe he had changed. Whatever it was, he was happier than he’d ever been.

And it read all over his face.

“What?” Taehyung tilted his head as he sat down on the grass.

Jungkook realized he was staring at Taehyung with a huge smile on his face. “Nothing.”

He sat down across from Taehyung and took the flower between his finger and thumb. Used his other hand to adjust the hair above Taehyung’s ear and then slid the flower into place.

Taehyung’s sweet smile and blush let him know that it was a welcome gesture. “So tell me all about the peony. How does it grow? How long does it bloom?” His teasing tone reminded Jungkook of how far they’d come since that first walk through the forest together.

“It’s the ‘king’ of flowers.” Jungkook touched the flower gingerly. “Symbol of royalty, wealth, and beauty.”

“Ah…” Taehyung raised his chin in a mockingly asserting his importance.

Jungkook couldn’t take his eyes off him. And was still staring adoringly when Taehyung looked back at him and playfully pushed his knee.

“You see it designs on all kinds of things from the Goryeo and Joseon dynasties,” Jungkook explained.

“I think I did see something like this before.” Taehyung looked melancholy.  

“Tapestries, dishes…” Jungkook began to play with the blades of grass in front of his legs. “Sometimes you see it with the other seasonal flowers too. Peony is for spring. Pomegranate flower for summer. Chrysanthemum for autumn. And the plum blossom for winter. All four seasons.”

“Plum blossoms like the one you gave me this winter?” Taehyung grinned cheekily.

Jungkook hesitated. Taehyung had acted like he believed the black wolf had brought him the blossom because of the pawprints on the porch.  But apparently, he did know it was Jungkook.

“Yeah,” he said sheepishly as he looked down at the grass and then looked up with indignance. “You know you didn’t have to make it so hard to woo you!”

“Oh,” Taehyung teased, “were you wooing me, Jeon Jungkook?”

Exasperated, Jungkook had the strong urge to overtake Taehyung, throw him back on the grass and wrestle him into a kiss. But just as he started to move forward, Taehyung put his palm out dramatically, indicating he should stop.

“No,” he patted the flower behind his ear in another mock show of indignance, “you’ll make a mess of me and my flower. And then I will look horrible for my coronation.”

Jungkook could hardly stand it.

He loved being with Taehyung in every way imaginable.

He loved the physical intensity that burned like fire between them.

But he also loved these moments. The playful ones.

He quelled his urge to roll him onto the grass and instead picked up his long slender hand into his own. Looking at it for a moment, he then lifted his gaze to meet Taehyung’s and he raised the fingers to his lips.  Kissed the knuckles tenderly.

“Never would I dream of sullying your royal visage.” He pulled Taehyung’s hand to his heart. “I am now and forever your humble servant.”

Taehyung’s eyes became even softer and warmer and he removed his hand and put both on Jungkook’s cheeks. Pulling it towards himself and pressing their lips lovingly together.

I love you. I love you. I love you. Jungkook’s head was screaming at him to say it, but he stopped himself and make a different confession.

“I wish I had my camera out with me. You look beautiful. Every bit as beautiful as that flower. As the waterfall.”

Taehyung looked down and then slowly back up into Jungkook’s eyes. Gone was the teasing and the overacting. Quietly he made his own confession.  “I’m not very good at taking a compliment like that. Honestly, I’ve never gotten a compliment like that.”

Sitting in the midst of the spring blossoms that held all the promise of a new beginning, Jungkook resolved in that moment, that Taehyung would never want for a compliment like that or of any kind ever again.

Chapter Text

As excited as he was for the Children’s Day celebration, when May 5^th came and the festivities started, Taehyung was too wiped out to take the kids exploring along the river with Jungkook and Namjoon and instead opted to stay at the tavern and help set up the food.

When Jin noticed that he wasn’t feeling well, he had been concerned. And after a full interrogation of every symptom he was having, he encouraged him to go outside and take some air.

It was difficult to list every symptom because they were intermittent and random. For a while he thought it was allergies or a cold that just didn’t want to give up. But even after following Jin’s protocols over the winter, he still never got full relief.

The occasional sniffles, cough, or congestion would come and go, but there was a general malaise that haunted him.

There were times he didn’t notice it much at all, but other times it would rear up after he had worked himself too hard.

And then there were other times, like today, where dizziness and fatigue would overwhelm him.

As he sat at the weathered picnic table on the side of the tavern, he closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of the dappled sunlight coming through the trees that fell on his face.

In some ways, it made sense he was more exhausted today than usual. The past two weeks he hadn’t slept well at all. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel sleepy. In fact, sometimes he felt more exhausted than he had ever in his life. And laying next to Jungkook gave him a peace and contentment that usually made it easy to fall asleep.

But his mind had been reeling for weeks.

And in the quiet of the night, he would either find his thoughts kept him from falling asleep, or even worse, after sleeping half the night, he would wake up mid dream. Unable to remember the dream, his thoughts would begin to stir and could keep him up for hours unable to fall back to sleep..

And there were so many thoughts plaguing him.

Even though Jungkook hadn’t had a sleepwalking episode outside of the one, Taehyung couldn’t forget about it. He had worried when he went to the city with Namjoon. So much so he had wanted to come back early. Since that time, he watched Jungkook closely at night and would wake even if Jungkook only stirred a little.

Even though he hadn’t said so because it was yet another thing they chose not to discuss, he suspected Jungkook was experiencing the reemergence of more memories than the few they had witnessed. It was something about the quiet faraway look he would get before pulling himself back into the moment.

The impact that the memories had on the other guys was also on Taehyung’s mind. He saw worry in their eyes, but there was also sadness. Jin breaking down in the garden where the fire had occurred was unexpected and distressing, but curious.

His instincts when he came to the mountain had alerted him to a “story.” He quickly embraced learning about what he needed to convey the beauty and necessity of the mountain so that it wouldn’t be destroyed. That had been the story he focused on. Well, that and the storyline that was developing between he and Jungkook. He had let all the other questions and inklings go as he fell into life on the mountain.

But there was an itch that was starting to grow again. The uncomfortable feeling returning that there might be another story. Or at the very least more to the story that he thought he already knew.

“Mind if I sit here with you?” Sungwoon sat down on the other side of the picnic table. The question being more of a polite formality as he didn’t wait for Taehyung’s response.

Taehyung motioned, “Yeah, yeah, sit down. I just had to get some air for a minute.”

It wasn’t the first conversation he’d had with Sungwoon today, but it was the first time they were alone.

When he had arrived with the kids this morning, Taehyung had been introduced and found him to be a likeable kind guy. He could see why Jimin liked him. Their personalities complimented each other. They even had some physical similarities. They were close to the same height and even shared the same full lips. But was the way they looked at each other that tugged at Taehyung’s heart.

In fact, all the guys seemed overjoyed to have Sungwoon on the mountain. It was apparent how much they had missed him. Except of course for Jungkook, who didn’t have any memory of him. Sungwoon was tentative with him. Taehyung could tell he seemed to be hoping that he would remember him, but when he didn’t, Sungwoon didn’t press the issue and embraced both he and Jungkook as two “new” brothers.

Sungwoon and a few of his colleagues had brought a bus of about 40 kids up to the mountain to celebrate. They were mostly in the 12 to 15 age range. Some of the kids were from local orphanages and foster homes, a few were even homeless.

Adoption inside of the country was not popular. And orphanages were often overflowing, with few people willing to foster or adopt older kids. With lineage and name being important, any adoptions that did happen only happened to the very young. Around the time kids got to this age, they were just waiting out the system. They knew they would never be adopted. Sungwoon’s youth shelter did the best that it could at giving the abandoned youth people a safe place, but more importantly a sense of belonging and family.

Even worse than their current predicament, they knew there wasn’t much for them outside the system when they turned 18.

Names and lineage still mattered. And it was often difficult to slide into South Korea’s social structure when one didn’t have any good connections and didn’t really know who they  were or where they came from.

Taehyung’s heart broke a little when Sungwoon shared that many of the young people who ended up in the system were from single mother’s who felt they had no other options.

It made him think about his own mom, even though she passed far too young, he had still had her longer than any of the other guys on the mountain had their parents. It was almost like they had been their own self-contained orphanage up here on the mountain trying to raise each other.

Being raised on the mountain as well, Sungwoon had likely developed a heart for those children which is why he chose it for his vocation. Though the question remained, why had Sungwoon left the mountain when he was a teenager.

He was glad he had the chance now to talk to him while Namjoon and Jungkook had taken all the kids on a nature walk. Taehyung wondered if there wasany way to get some answers from him without appearing that he was putting him through an interrogation.

“So, you used to live up here?” It had been a while since Taehyung had do much investigative probing. He was hoping he wasn’t rusty. But sitting across from Sungwoon on the warped picnic table, he was going to give it a try.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sungwoon nodded and took a bite of rice from his plate. “Grew up here. Until I was about 16 or so.”

It appeared he might not be the type to just offer up his life story. Taehyung figured he should make the conversation as casual as possible.

“I grew up in the city,” he started, “so this mountain life was quite a new thing for me.”

“Really?” The way Sungwoon said made Taehyung feel like he needed to confirm. Almost like he doubted that Taehyung was telling the truth. “Did you have trouble adjusting? Jimin told me you’ve been up here for about 8 months now.”

Taehyung didn’t even have to think hard to come up with an answer to the question. He hadn’t had any trouble adjusting. To the contrast of the quiet of the mountain to the bustling city. To the lazy days of the village compared to the activity of the city nights.

There had been only one challenge he had faced. When night came and he was alone in the cabin, he couldn’t relax enough to sleep. Every sound, every shadow made him think the worst. He was too old to believe in monsters, but a part of him wouldn’t have been surprised to find one was lurking in the trees.

That was until he heard the howl.

The howl of the large black wolf. The one he’d befriended. The one he hadn’t seen in months, but wanted to see again. The one who, if asked, he could easily say he loved.

Once he had overcome that initial hurdle, his nights on the mountain had been an easy adjustment. So easy in fact, there were times he wasn’t sure he could ever go back to the place he called home. The city held nothing to him compared to the life on the mountain.

“No, not really. I had a little trouble sleeping in the beginning. Just everything being so new. But everyone was welcoming. It’s been great. Did you not like life on the mountain? Is that why you left?”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t say that. I love this mountain. It killed me to think it was in danger.” Sungwoon looked a little uncomfortable and he thought he might be getting close to some answers. “Oh, by the way, I saw the article even before Jimin contacted me about bringing the kids up. Great, absolutely fabulous article! I loved it. And everyone is talking about the mountain now.”

“Oh thanks,” Taehyung appreciated the compliment, but once again Sungwoon had managed to divert the conversation. “More articles are coming. Hopefully it will make a difference.”

“That’s what Jimin told me,” he said quickly. “I can’t wait to read more.”

Taehyung decided they could do this for hours. He was going to have to ask direct questions if he wanted direct answers.

“I couldn’t help but notice when you arrived today how much everyone had missed you. You guys must have all been very close.”

“Closer than close,” Sungwoon sighed wistfully. “I missed Jimin and the whole pack.”

Taehyung’s eyes lit up. Now he was getting somewhere. Time to go in for the deep questions. “I especially noticed Hobi. I’ve never seen him so emotional. I mean he even cried when he hugged you.”

“Yeah, Hobi and I are brothers. We go way back to even before we came to live – “

“What’s that I heard my name?” Hobi, who had literally been nowhere within Taehyung’s line of sight, suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Grinning from ear to ear as he gave Taehyung’s shoulder a playful nudge.

“I was just telling Taehyung here how much I loved the mountain. And all of you guys.”

“Well, I hope you still feel that way after today.” Hobi laughed. “Joon and Jungkook just got back from the walk with the kids and a few of them and Namjoon all fell in the river and they’re soaked. I think Jungkook went in after them.”

Sungwoon winced, “Oh sorry you know how kids are, they were probably horsing around. Sorry about that.”

“Not exactly,” Hobi explained. “Apparently Joon tripped and started to fall. The two kids standing closest to him just happened to be collateral damage. He accidently pushed one in when he fell and when he reached out, he grabbed the other and they fell too.”

“I see then that nothing’s changed?” Sungwoon smiled fondly.

“Nope. Nothing’s changed.” Hobi patted him on the back. “So, if you want to come with me, Jimin and Jin are going through our clothes to find them something dry to put on.”

Sungwoon stood up and took off his flannel shirt, tying it around his waist.

He reached out and shook Taehyung’s hand. “It’s been great talking to you. Hope we get the chance again soon.”

“Yes, yes, it was great. And I’d love to talk again.”

Taehyung’s disappointment at not having gotten any real answers was completely forgotten when the now bare outstretched forearm of Sungwoon revealed skin that was badly scarred. Shiny welted darkened flesh went clear up under the arm of his t-shirt. And as he leaned over to shake Taehyung’s hand, a glimpse right below the neckline of his t-shirt. More of the same.

Burn scars.

Like those that would come from fire.

For only a moment, Taehyung wondered where Jungkook might be. But then he smelled the unmistakable smell coming down the hill from the cabin. He was wearing a white t-shirt and light-colored denim jeans now whereas earlier he’d been in an oversized sweatshirt and dark denim.

Even from a distance Taehyung could tell his hair was soaked. Even though he had probably run a towel through it, it still hung in shiny black ringlets around his face.

He unapologetically stared as Jungkook came down the hill and approached him. It would have been impossible to look away even if he wanted to.

Jungkook had a notable swagger. And it was sexy as hell.

It was also a fairly recent development.

When Taehyung had arrived, Jungkook was without a doubt the most handsome guy he’d ever seen. And he was aggressive and tense. Keyed up. He gave an air of dominance, but it was laced with fear and uncertainty

That had all changed.

And the change had been parallel to their developing relationship.

Jungkook oozed confidence. Steady, strong confidence.

Taehyung had been unable to stop himself from falling under its spell. It was hypnotizing.

When Jungkook reached him, they walked toward the tavern door together.

“Hey,” Jungkook grinned. “Did you hear about Joon tripping and falling in the river?”

“Yeah, Hobi told us. Guess you guys got soaked.”

Jungkook ran his hand through his wet hair. “Yeah, had to changed my clothes.”

Taehyung smiled wryly, “I’m sorry I missed that.”

Lowering his chin and raising his eyebrows, Jungkook looked seductively from under hooded eyelid. “I’ll just have to change clothes again later tonight. Maybe you’ll be around then.”

“Yeah, I might be,” Taehyung teased.

“Smart ass,” Jungkook smacked the backside of his denim jeans as he followed him through the door.

Taehyung was a little surprised, but also impressed at how Jungkook interacted with the kids from the center.

He was attentive and careful with them. Making sure they all had full plates. Laughing along with their jokes and silliness. Especially as they all told about the things that happened during their nature hike. Most notably the river mishap.

Jin and Jimin had prepared gifts for all the kids, which they were thrilled to receive. Yoongi pulled out his guitar and they all happily sang along as he played different songs both new and old.

Many of the kids hadn’t had much of a celebration on Lunar New Year. But they got their chance as Jin had organized teams and had everything set up for them to play in the afternoon sunshine around the tavern.

Jimin, Sungwoon, and Yoongi stood back closer to the tavern and watch as the others facilitated the games.

“I don’t know how to thank you guys for today,” Sungwoon smiled at Jimin who had his arm linked through his. “This was incredible for these kids. They’ve had such a great time.”

“Then that just means you have to come back with them again,” Jimin said quietly.

Taehyung nodded in agreement and pointed toward the games. “Jungkook and Jin seem to be enjoying themselves too.”

The two had taken to a wrestling match that wasn’t really much of a match at all. Jin was laughing too hard to be a true competitor and Taehyung could tell Jungkook was taking it easy on him.

Jimin suddenly got excited. “You know what we should do next year! We could do the costume thing!”

Sungwoon smiled widely and even Yoongi grinned. “Oh, that would be fun.”

“You guys used to up?” Taehyung asked.

“Yes, but not just that,” Yoongi explained. “Jungkook’s mom used to pick a theme for Children’s Day and we’d all dress up around that and then the decorations, foods, games, everything would center around that.”

Sungwoon began to laugh heartily. “Remember the year we did the Wizard of Oz and they made the three of us be Munchkins.”

“I still say I should have been the Wizard,” Yoongi sulked, “not Namjoon.”

“And then that one year we did the Star Wars theme?” Jimin nudged Yoongi, “You got to be Yoga that year!”

Yoongi grunted.

“Man, those were some good times,” Sungwoon wistfully looked at Jimin and then pecked him on the cheek. Jimin blushed and kissed him back.

“You know Jin would love to have you guys up here on any and every holiday,” Jimin said with certainty.

“True,” Yoongi agreed as he patted him on the back. “It won’t be the same now if you don’t come.”

A drop of water hit Taehyung’s arm. He ignored it until a few more hit his face. “Is it starting to – “and then more. It was raining.

Even though the sun was shining.

The guys huddled under the overhang as the kids came barreling past them  to take cover in the tavern. Jin had promised ice cream and this was the perfect break. He led the way through the door.

“Hey save some for me,” Jungkook stopped next to Taehyung, but called in after him.

“No promises,” Jin called back.

Jungkook looked at Taehyung, “Go ahead, I’ll be right behind you.”

Taehyung and the others laughed as he scurried through the door.

“Those are some great kids,” Namjoon said to Sungwoon as he approached the overhang.

“They are,” he replied proudly.

“Looks like the sun is just going to keep shining while it rains,” Taehyung stuck his hand out into the drops. There was a word his mother used to use for this, but he couldn’t remember exactly what it was. Only the story of a fox and tiger getting married on a sunny day. But the cloud and the fox loved each other and they couldn’t be together so the cloud was crying behind the sun.

“Yeoubi,” Hobi said happily as he looked up into the glare. He looked back towards the other guys. “Sun shower.”

Yoongi wrapped his arm around Hobi and pulled him close. “Letting us know they’re here,” he whispered.

It was a private moment and Taehyung didn’t want to pry. But as he turned toward Jimin and Sungwoon they were in a world of their own. Jimin had his hands on his cheeks. Wiping Sungwoon’s tears and whispering, “my beautiful Cloud.”

The rain stopped just as quickly as it started. And out of the corner of his eye he could see a partial rainbow between the trees. Taehyung discretely slipped away and into the tavern. Overcome with the need to be by Jungkook’s side.

As evening neared, everyone ate once more and then Sungwoon announced that they would need to be leaving.

Without being too creepy, he tried to watch his goodbyes to the other guys. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for. Hints, perhaps. Hoping that someone would say something that would reference the past.

But he couldn’t pick anything out.

They were all most definitely sad to see him go. And made him promise that he would return. Not just soon. But very soon. And often. He tearfully agreed.

He hugged Jungkook and Taehyung in one go. One with each arm. “I’m so glad to see you again.”

Taehyung didn’t correct him. He knew he’d meant it towards Jungkook, even though Jungkook didn’t seem to notice the slip. Or he wondered if maybe throughout the day another memory had returned and Jungkook did remember Sungwoon now.

Instead of saying goodbye, Jimin bashfully and discretely indicated that he would be going back to the city with Sungwoon for a few days.

Since meeting Jimin, Taehyung had never seen him happier. As the bus drove away, he stood at the window with Jungkook. “They look so happy together.”

“They do,” Jungkook confirmed. “I’m glad for him. Sungwoon’s a great guy. I wish I could remember him.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung nodded. “He really cares about those kids.”

“Jimin deserves to be happy,” Jungkook sighed. “I’ve always worried about him. Nothing is more heartbreaking than to hear him cry.”

“I’ve never heard or seen Jimin cry. He doesn’t seem the type?” It surprised Taehyung, for even though he knew Jimin was sad, he’d always held himself together.

“Not in real life,” Jungkook made the clarification. “But I used to have this dream over and over that Jimin was in the room next to me and I could hear him crying.”

“Anyone want the last of this ice cream?” Jin called out.

“Oh! Me!” Jungkook turned quickly and then looked at Taehyung. “We both want some.”

Taehyung smiled and motioned for him to lead the way as they walked back towards the tables.

The tavern seemed too quiet after Jimin, Sungwoon, and the kids left. It was nice in one way because the day had been so busy, but there was also I little but of sadness. It was as though even the mountain missed the chaos and commotion of the young people.

Taehyung sat next to Jungkook at the table. Started with his arm around the back of the chair, but over the course of only a few minutes, he had found their chairs were so close him arm ended up around Jungkook’s shoulders.

Seeing everyone else so openly affectionate made it easier than it had been in previous weeks.

Jin and Namjoon sat across the table in a similar position. And Yoongi sat at the end of the table, with his arms around Hobi who was sitting on his lap.

They discussed the events of the day, and how they should make sure the kids get to come again. Perhaps on holidays when they would usually have no family to celebrate with.

Eventually, however, the conversation turned to Jimin and Sungwoon.

“I never thought I’d see it.” Jin shook his head. “I’m so thankful we reached out to him.”

“I don’t want to pry,” Taehyung started, “but I’m curious.” He looked around the table, giving the guys a chance to stop him from asking anything.

He couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly that he wanted to know. But he felt it deep in inside. Like there was a foggy cloud of smoke in his way. And if he could just clear it out of the way, there was something to see on the other side. The closer he had gotten to Jungkook, the desire to know everything had grown. He wanted to know not just more about him and how he had been raised without any parents, but all the guys.

And there was just something in the air sometimes when they were all together. In the first months he didn’t notice it as much and when he did, he didn’t think it meant anything. But as his time on the mountain had gone on, he became aware and even sensitive to the subtle looks to the side at each other, the sentences that started and were clipped off by someone else. And even sometimes the anticipation on their faces as they watched Jungkook.

Yoongi nodded to go ahead.

“I know you guys all grew up together up here on the mountain. I know you, Joon, and Jimin share the same dad. And I’ve heard about Jin’s and Jungkook’s parents. But what about your parents, Hobi? Are you and Sungwoon actually brothers?”

“No Hobi and Sungwoon aren’t brothers by blood.” Namjoon laughed and motioned to Yoongi and Jimin. “I don’t think any of us really are brothers by blood. Not even the three of us.”

Hobi shifted and Yoongi tightened his arms affectionately around his waist. “Sungwoon and I were orphans. We lived in the orphanage in the city together, but we came to the mountain when we were little. That’s how we ended up being raised here.”

“But because were all raised up here together, we refer to ourselves as brothers.” Jin added. “And then later. After parents passed on, we were all kind of on our own together. Which I guess really made us brothers.”

Yoongi cleared his throat. “Well, we are brothers. We survived together. You know that saying it takes a village to raise a child.  I think up here that was the reality. Not just a saying.”

“Thank goddess we had that,” Jungkook suddenly spoke up. “Not many people lose their parents, but still have a family to raise them.”

The other four guys looked at him lovingly. But there was an unmistakable look in their eyes. It wasn’t just sadness, but a little more like regret.

Taehyung wanted to tell them that they’d done a good job. The more he thought about it, the more he realized they had all been young. Even Jin as the oldest. He had still been a teenager. It seemed they had tried to do the best they could.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

When May gave way to the start June, the hot weather arrived in full force. But he had settled into such a rhythm that even the persecuting heat couldn’t get him down. Mentally at least. Physically the rising temps make it that much harder to fight off the fatigue. Jungkook had warned him that monsoon season and the accompanying heat and humidity that was coming would be even worse.

Taehyung had kept himself busy helping Jungkook with the garden and writing his regular blog of life on the mountain. This morning, he wanted to proof his latest post one more time before he joined Jungkook down in the village. He’d had the cabin to himself for several hours as Jungkook had gotten an early start on some chores.

As he read the ending once more, he rested his hand underneath his left jawline. The tender spot there made him smile. Just like the one on his inner thigh.

Things had only gotten better between them. The angry tension of the first few months had morphed into playful banter that often led to them needing to be alone and in each other’s arms. They still couldn’t keep their hands to themselves and found as many ways as possible to arouse and satisfy each other.

With one exception.

After Taehyung returned from the interviews in the city, they quickly resumed being physically intimate, but other than the morning after Lunar New Year, they hadn’t tried to have sex again.

And like all the other things they hadn’t talked about it.

It hadn’t been a bad experience the one time they did. But it had been more awkward than either had wanted.

Taehyung told himself that first times were always awkward and it was nothing to worry about.

Even though they had both finished, something had been off.

At first, he thought it might have been that for some unknown reason, he had experienced excessive self-lubrication and it turned Jungkook off. A quick internet search informed him that it was possible to have some lubrication. Although this could hardly be described as some. It was much more than that.

And Jungkook hadn’t been turned off at all. On the contrary, he was very much still turned on by it. And now every time they were physical together, Taehyung found that his body responded with the same lubrication. And Jungkook didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, he usually remarked that it “drove him wild” and that he “felt crazy like he might lose control.”

And they did lose themselves in and to each other.

But they didn’t try intercourse again.

Taehyung tapped his fingers against the keyboard hitting send. He told himself to forget about it. It wasn’t like either of them were suffering from lack. He enjoyed what they had. And what they had felt like it was building to something big. Maybe they just hadn’t been ready before.

As he started to close his laptop, he heard a notification and opened a new email from a familiar address.

He could hardly believe his eyes. He read it twice. Then slammed the laptop shut. Looking for something quick to slide on his feet he could only locate one slide and one of the slip-on dress shoes he’d worn to the media appearances. He bent over to look under the couch but the mate to either wasn’t there. He couldn’t wait. They would have to do. He slipped them on and ran out the door toward the village.

“Jungkook! Jungkook!” Taehyung yelled at the top of his lungs as he ran down the hill towards the tavern. As he navigated the uneven ground and the incline, he wished he had tied his shoes. But there hadn’t been time. He had to get to Jungkook to tell him the news.

He ran into the tavern first, but he wasn’t there. And Jin apparently wasn’t either. He continued through the kitchen and out the back door into the garden.

Jungkook was near the back of it with some pruning sheers working on some of the bushes and small trees. Shirtless.

He turned as Taehyung ran towards him.

“You’re never going to believe it!”

Jungkook’s smiled through one side of his mouth as he stared at Taehyung’s feet. “We were robbed and the thief only stole one of each of our pairs of shoes?”

Taehyung pushed his palms against the sweaty chest and Jungkook made a mock show of it being hard enough to push him off balance.

He was temporarily distracted by the sight in front of him. Jungkook’s muscled abs were glistening with sweat. Most of his hair was pulled back into an elastic, but the black tendrils that framed his face were darker than usual and dripping.

“No, smart ass!” He shook his head. “I just got an email about the Winter Olympics Committee decision!”

Jungkook’s smirk faded and he let the pruners fall from his hand. “They’ve made a decision?”

“They’re using the other location where the ski slope already exists.”

“But I thought they said it didn’t meet the exact requirements in height or whatever?”

“They’ve figured out a way to make it work.” Taehyung was nearly jumping out of his mismatched shoes. “There was too much outrage at destroying this mountain. Jungkook, they aren’t going to destroy the village or the mountain. You’re safe!”

Jungkook’s blank expression transformed slowly. His eyes widened as he cautiously began to smile. “Are you serious, Tae? Are you serious?”

“Yes!” Taehyung was ready to burst. “Yes!”

They both rushed forward and grasped each other in an embrace. “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it’s over!” Jungkook held him so tightly. Squeezing his fingers into his skin. “You did it, Tae. You did it.”

When he finally loosened his grip, Taehyung backed up a little, still holding onto Jungkook’s forearms. “We did this. I couldn’t have done anything without you.” His voice emphatic. “We did this together.”

Jungkook’s smile was still a mix of shock and relief. His eyes glossy. “I wish the guys were around. I can’t wait to tell them.”

“Joon got the same email,” Taehyung remembered. “He’s probably at work and I bet he knows.”

“Jin’s with him in the city. He drove in to take some treats and candies he made to Sungwoon’s shelter. I don’t know where Yoongi and Hobi are.”

“We’ll just have to tell them later. Maybe we can all go into the city and celebrate later tonight.”

Jungkook’s face fell immediately. He bent over to pick up his pruning shears and resumed taking some dead branches off the treelike shrub.

Taehyung stepped closer the small tree and played with one of the crimson flowers on the branch. He didn’t speak for a moment. Choosing to watch Jungkook instead. The change in his demeanor was obvious.

“Jungkook,” he said simply. “Let’s not do this anymore.”

“What are you saying?” he turned toward Taehyung sharply. “You’re just going to leave now. You’re done with this.” He motioned to the space around them and then added in a voice so sad Taehyung could hardly stand it. “You’re done with me?”

He tried to go back to pruning, but Taehyung stopped him. Removing the shears from his hands and grabbing him by the shoulders. “Look at me.” Jungkook turned his face, but Taehyung was persistent. “Jungkook. Look at me.”

He regretted it immediately. Even though he wanted his full attention, he wasn’t prepared for the look in his eyes. “Why would you think that?”

Jungkook’s voice cracked. “Why would you say we shouldn’t do this anymore?”

“I mean holding things back from each other. I don’t want to do that anymore.” Taehyung explained. “I could tell I upset you when I suggested we celebrate in the city. At least I think that might have been what upset you. But I don’t want to guess anymore. We can’t just avoid talking about things that are upsetting. I mean, if you want to be together. If we want to make this work, we’re going to have to be more honest with each other.”

Jungkook looked down at the ground and Taehyung gave him the time to respond. “I’m just terrified you’re going to leave. And I hate admitting that because I think you’ll think less of me. I’ve been afraid of it for most of the time you’ve been here. Knowing you’re going to go home at some point. Once a decision was made about the mountain, you’d leave and go back home.”

“Oh my god,” Taehyung scoffed gently. “Jungkook, I am home. This is my home. Don’t you realize that? When Joon and I were in the city I told him I couldn’t wait to get back home. Back here to you. In that moment I knew that this was were I belonged. I don’t intend to ever leave here.”

Jungkook looked up. Almost childlike. “Really? You want to stay here? With me?”

“Yes!” Taehyung exclaimed as Jungkook threw his arms around him. Embracing him for a second time. Taehyung kissed the top of his shoulder. “I belong here on the mountain with you.”

They stood holding each other despite the sweltering midday heat.

“But Jungkook, you can’t be afraid that if I walk off this mountain I’m never coming back. I’m always going to come back to you.”

“I know. I’ll work on it. Alright?” Jungkook sniffed and pulled back to look Taehyung in the eye. He nodded his head toward the small tree. “Or when these pomegranate blossoms turn to fruit, I’ll make you eat a couple of seeds and then you’ll always have to come back to me. Like Persephone.”

“That would make you Hades,” Taehyung chuckled. “And you are too good to be Hades. You don’t have a dark bone in your body.”

Jungkook’s smile was slight and fleeting. “Yoongi says we all have darkness. Everything does.”

“Yeah, Yoongi’s probably right,” Taehyung conceded. “But let’s stop hiding it from each other, okay? I want this with you. All of you. Even the parts you’ve been hesitating to show me.  I’m not afraid of the dark anymore. I’m not afraid of anything.”

Even as the words left his mouth, Taehyung was hit with an unexpected sadness. The sadness of realizing he was afraid. Never belonging and never needing anyone had meant never taking a risk at getting his heart broken. But standing in front of Jungkook and declaring his intentions to belong to him. For them to belong to each other. He realized for the first time that losing Jungkook would be unbearable. While, Jungkook had been terrified of losing him, the admission of the feeling was new for Taehyung. He told himself it was impossible. He’d never have to experience that. Jungkook would never be the one to leave him. But something inside him didn’t totally believe it.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Even as little memories resurfaced daily over the next few weeks, Jungkook still had trouble putting the pieces together. Sometimes he questioned whether they were truly memories or just stories he told himself. He often hoped that his childhood had been happy, but he just didn’t know for sure. But there was a gut feeling, and based on what the other guys said, it had been.

His teen years had been alright as far as teen years go except for the trauma surrounding his parents’ death, which he still couldn’t remember. He didn’t remember when he presented as an Alpha, but that hadn’t stopped him from feeling responsible for the whole pack, village, and mountain like his father before him. He wanted to see it as an honor, but he felt incomplete and not up to the task, and it honestly had been somewhat of a burden he wasn’t ready for.

But he had tried.

He never considered his happiness in those years. It just wasn’t a priority. But since Taehyung had arrived on the mountain, he was certain he had never been happier.

There was no logical explanation he could come up with for how he felt about Taehyung. The depth and breadth of his feelings had only grown. In the beginning they were intense and confusing. But now had total clarity.

Taehyung was his person.

And now he knew he would never have to let him go.

Monsoon season was approaching quickly. Perhaps more rapidly than it had ever come. It was mid-June and it seemed like everything on the mountain sensed something was coming.  Looming in the sweltering summer. The air was hot and sticky. And even though the rains hadn’t started, the humidity was oppressive. It felt like the very sky was swollen with a deluge just ready to burst upon them.

And Jungkook knew from experience that even once the rains came, it wouldn’t bring relief from the heat or humidity. It would be just as oppressive, but it would also be wet.

It had been driving Jungkook crazy.

Not the heat necessarily, but the way Taehyung looked in it.

He usually went shirtless and if he did throw one on, it was unbuttoned. Being so hot, he wore shorts all the time.

And that meant his legs were in view all the time and it was nearly impossible to want to touch them as the sweat glistened over the bronzed skin.

Jungkook hadn’t realized what a huge turn on something as basic and gross as perspiration could be. He would watch without blinking as Taehyung hunched over his laptop would absentmindedly use the back of his hand to wipe the sweat off his brow.

As much as he had of Taehyung, he wanted more. The one time he’d tried to have all of him, he couldn’t hide his tears. He had hoped Taehyung hadn’t noticed. He never wanted Taehyung to think he was weak. He never said anything about it. And the night had ended good. It was really good. Like nothing he’d ever experienced to be so close. To be inside of him.

But it had been almost too much and he hadn’t tried it again. Not that he didn’t want to. He thought about it all the time. But always held back. There were so many other ways they found to pleasure each other. And they happily engaged in all of them.

Taehyung hadn’t extended the invitation again like he did that night. And Jungkook took that as a sign that maybe he hadn’t been ready.

And as much as what he wanted to try again, Jungkook didn’t mind waiting. He wasn’t entirely sure he had been ready either. But now that they were trying to be completely honest with each other. He felt like he was getting closer.

“Damn, it’s miserable.” Taehyung leaned back in his chair. Shirt gaping. Chest wet with sweat. “It’s only what? The third official day of summer and it’s this bad?”

“Yep,” Jungkook agreed. “Sorry I don’t have air conditioning, but honestly, even if I did, it doesn’t really help that much when it gets like this.

“Is it going to rain,” Taehyung leaned to the side so he could look out the window.

Jungkook hadn’t noticed, but once he looked for himself, he realized it did look like that.

“Looks like it. Want to go swimming before it gets here?”

“Hell yeah,” Taehyung closed the lid on his laptop.

They headed out the door laughing making adolescent type jokes about the heat and their balls. He hadn’t suggested changing into swimsuits, and Taehyung hadn’t mentioned it either.

He considered that a stroke of luck.

The air was electric. The hair on his arms stood up. The overcast day wasn’t any cooler from the lack of sunshine. In fact, something was stifling about it.

As Jungkook expected and hoped, when they got to the waterfall, Taehyung had simply dropped his shorts and jumped into the plunge pond wearing nothing but his boxers.

Jungkook quickly did the same and like magnets, they found each other in the clear water. The coolness gave them the chance to physically cling to each other for the first time in weeks. They’d messed around of course; they could never deny themselves that. But there had been no chance to cuddle or just hold each other. It had been far too hot and humid.

Now under the cool water, they had their chance to escape the sweltering heat and enjoy the closeness.

“Mmm.” Taehyung hummed as he wrapped his legs around Jungkook’s waist and kissed him.

Jungkook relished being encased by the long, slender toned legs. He rubbed his hands up and down them slowly as he returned the passionate kiss.

“I can’t seem to get you close enough,” he mused aloud between kisses.

“If we were any closer,” Taehyung threw his head to the side and laughed teasingly, “we’d inside of each other.”

The words stirred something within Jungkook. Was it an invitation? He voraciously kissed Taehyung’s neck. “I think I might like that.”

“Really?” Taehyung drew back just enough to look at him. “You want that? But the last time we did…you haven’t wanted to since.”

“It was awkward. I didn’t know what I was doing.” Jungkook mumbled as he kissed his neck. “I got overwhelmed. I don’t know. I’ve just been afraid to bring it up again.”

Taehyung kissed him on his cheeks and over his forehead. “I get that. I felt the same. It was good, but something felt off. I thought maybe you didn’t want to anymore.”

“Oh, I want to.” Jungkook assured him. “I really want to. Do you?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung admitted. “I want to. I just didn’t want to push.”

“I want you now,” Jungkook whined as he grabbed his ass and pulled him tighter against his crotch. This was it. This was the right time.

“No lube, plus the bacteria that’s probably floating in this water?” Taehyung shook his head. “Recipe for disaster…” Jungkook sucked hard on his neck. “Or at the very least a UTI,” he groaned.

“I don’t think we need much lube.” Jungkook’s cock hardened even more at the thought of how wet Taehyung would get anytime he was aroused. The way it felt. The enticing scent. He continued to touch as much of Taehyung’s body as he could. Teasing him.  “Wait are you saying the water on my mountain is dirty?”

“No,” Taehyung laughed and pinched Jungkook’s nipple hard.

When Jungkook’s hands automatically went to protect his chest, Taehyung loosened his legs and swam away. Looking back with a giggle as his hands pushed a splash of water up into Jungkook’s face.

“We could get out of the water and do it on the bank?” Jungkook started after him.

Taehyung was clearly in a playful mood. He splashed more water at Jungkook as he started out of the water.

“No thanks, I’m not getting those tiny pebbles imbedded in my knees or my ass cheeks!”

Jungkook managed to get to him just before he totally emerged from the water. He grabbed his ankle causing him to stumble to the ground. Quickly rising and getting out of the water himself he managed to have Taehyung caged to the ground in an instant.

“Now, what’re you going to do? I’ve got you where I want you,” he whispered.

“Same thing I always do when I want to distract you.” Taehyung giggled as he twisted Jungkook’s nipple again.

Even though he should have expected it, he didn’t. And his surprise put him in the position that he was easy for Taehyung to flip over and pin down.

“Looks like I’m in charge now.” Taehyung said huskily as he held Jungkook’s hands over his head up against the ground. “You have to do what I say.”

The ground suddenly felt soft. Like it might swallow him up. Jungkook’s vision blurred and blackened repeatedly as he tried to focus past Taehyung’s face to the trees overhead. His stomach dropped so deep it made him gasp aloud.

Panic consumed him as something snapped and it all came rushing back.

A flood of anger and fear. He growled. Felt himself wanting to flip Taehyung over. To take a piece out of him. To show him that he was not to be dominated by anyone.

But he instead he used all his strength to push Taehyung off him. Flipping him over so quickly he landed on his backside against the dirt.

“What the hell?” He was obviously shocked.

Jungkook started near him to make sure he wasn’t hurt.

But then more memories. He shook his head but they didn’t leave. He staggered as his body repeatedly dropped to the ground. Legs suddenly unsteady.

Crouched on bent legs, he looked at Taehyung. Laser focused. He lay back on the ground, braced up by his arms behind him. A look of sheer terror all over his face. Jungkook could smell his fear.

“Jungkook? What’s wrong? Your eyes are crazy looking? What’s going on?” He panted and pushed up on his arms to try to stand.

“No!” Jungkook demanded harshly. He stood up as he pointed down at him. “No. Stay right there. I mean it Tae!”

More memories. He was no longer in the water, but he was drowning.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung started up again.

“No, no,” Jungkook backed away. “Just go back to the cabin.  Just go back and lock the doors or else.” He didn’t even recognize the threatening voice that came from his throat.

“Jungkook, please – “

“I mean it,” he shouted angrily as he turned to run. He had to get to the tavern. Jin was supposed to be back today. He had to know the truth before it was too late.

Jungkook burst into the tavern, not caring how hard the door slammed against the wall.

Thankfully Jin had returned. The suitcase sitting by the kitchen door indicated he had just gotten back.

He emerged from the kitchen. A bowl of noodles in his hand. His chopstick stopped midair noodles dangling.

“Who is he Jin? And don’t lie to me! I want the whole story! I want to know everything! Who the fuck is he?”

Jin looked into his bowl, lowered his chopsticks, and sat both on the bar.

“Sit down, Jungkook. I’ll tell you everything.”

Over an hour passed.

Jungkook shared the flashes of memory he’d gotten up by the waterfall and more poured in as Jin confirmed them to be true and filled in the gaps.

Jin told him the whole story. From the beginning.

And when he was finished. Jungkook stood. Bitter tears streamed down his face. Jin begged him to say something but he couldn’t as his anger was too great. He hated Jin. He hated them all.

He remembered everything.

And now he knew:

Why Taehyung had pressed all his buttons from the moment he saw him.

Why for so long only his wolf could tolerate being close to him.

Why it felt like Taehyung belonged on the mountain.

Why he panicked with gut wrenching fear when he thought about Taehyung leaving.

Why they had been able to effortlessly hear each other thoughts.

Why touching him was the most natural thing in the world.

Why he loved him

And why he hated him

But most importantly, why Taehyung would never completely be safe with him around.

And why now he had to leave immediately. Leave the village and if he truly loved Taehyung, the whole mountain.

He ignored Jin’s pleas as he busted through the tavern door to find it had started raining. Looked out into the trees and then up the hill. He broke into a run as he shifted without even making the conscious decision to.

Glancing back to take one last look at the tavern he barreled up the hill towards his beloved cabin. Despite the risk, he had to say goodbye.

Chapter Text

He didn’t trust himself as a human anymore.

He was glad he had involuntarily shifted. He knew if he went to Taehyung in human form, he’d never be able to say goodbye. He’d never be able to leave him. And he would never get over the fear that the opposite could be true too. That he could be compelled to harm him.

He only needed to see him anyway. There was nothing to say. He knew Taehyung wouldn’t just accept that he’d left without want to know why, but the guys could fill in those blanks.

And even though Jungkook knew the answers to those questions, he was in no position to be able to share them with Taehyung. He could hardly process them himself.

He just needed to be alone.

But first.

As Jungkook stood at the tree line, Taehyung was clearly visible on the porch of the cabin. He was sitting in the chair next to the railing where his arms rested. Crossed and flat along the top. His face was buried in them. All Jungkook could see was the top of his head.

His heart ached. And he felt Taehyung’s aching too. He had probably come back to the cabin in total confusion. Unsure of what to do. The watering can sat next to his feet.  Likely he hadn’t even gotten one of the potted flowers on the steps watered before the rain started.

Jungkook looked up at the sky. It was definitely here now.

The rain. 

There was no need to water anything. Soon enough the mountain and village would be a sopping mess of water for weeks. Some things might not even survive the deluge.

He edged a little closer. He didn’t want to be noticed and so he had decided to not get too close.

But when Taehyung didn’t stir, he figured he must be asleep and decided it was safe to get as close as he could without waking him. Just to be next to him once more.

He was just a few feet from the porch and Taehyung hadn’t moved. He relaxed with relief that he hadn’t woken him.

Until Taehyung’s deep voice spoke loud and clear.

“Jungkook,” he said without raising his head or his eyes. “I know it’s you.”

Jungkook froze. And then he took a step backwards. Slowly. He could turn and bolt if he had to, but he didn’t want to draw that attention to himself yet.  Taehyung might have been sleep talking. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he was awake and he just knew it was Jungkook by his scent.

Jungkook took another step backwards. Just a little further and he could hide in the tree line again.

But on the next step, the dark brown mop of hair resting on the rail moved.

And Taehyung raised his head. Stared straight at him and didn’t even blink at the sight of Jungkook in wolf form.

“You heard me,” he said firmly as he stared him in the eye. “I know it’s you.”

Jungkook started to turn. Considered making a break for it. Taehyung couldn’t catch him. He was sure of that.

“Don’t run away from me,” Taehyung sternly commanded but then followed with a softer voice. “Please, Jungkook.”

He stopped. Helpless. He couldn’t run away.

But how? When did you discover it was me?

“I don’t know the exact moment,” Taehyung admitted. “But at least since winter. I figured it out just like I fell for you. It started happening slowly. And then one day…one day I was just suddenly certain.”

I’m sorry. But I have to go. If I stay, you’ll be in danger.

“Why would I suddenly be in danger?”

I can’t explain it. Jin can tell you. But I have to leave now so you can be safe.

“You can’t leave me.” Taehyung descended the stairs and took a few steps forward as Jungkook took a few steps back.

I have to, Tae. I’m so sorry. You don’t understand. I could never forgive myself if I hurt you.

Taehyung started forward again. “You’re going to hurt me if you leave.”

Jungkook took another step back.

But then he stopped.

Jungkook desperately wanted to feel his hand. Just once more. He watched Taehyung approach. Closing the gap between them. Taehyung’s arm outstretched. His hand just inches away.

Jungkook couldn’t allow it. One last touch would never be enough.

He suddenly turned just as Taehyung reached him. And he ran.

Taehyung cried out. But he wouldn’t allow himself to listen to the words Taehyung shouted. He knew he couldn’t keep going if he heard them.

And wouldn’t allow himself to turn for a last look. Or else he knew he would never leave.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

“Jin?” Taehyung entered the tavern soaking wet from the walk down the hill in the rain. The door slammed behind him, but he could hardly care. After Jungkook ran off into the woods, Taehyung didn’t waste any time searching out answers.

Thankfully the tavern was empty this time of day. Jin must have been expecting him as he didn’t seem at all surprised when he came from the kitchen wiping his hands on a dish towel and then tossing it across his shoulder.

“Taehyung? Is Jungkook alright?”

“Jungkook’s gone.”

“Gone?”

“Yes gone. He came to me and said goodbye. Told me that he couldn’t stay here anymore because he was afraid he would hurt me. Why would he say that, Jin? What the hell is going on?”

Jin sat down and rested his elbows on the table burying his face in his hands. “I was hoping he would just go get you and you guys could talk and sort through everything.” He dropped his arms and looked up at Taehyung apologetically. “I was waiting on you both to come back down here together.”

“Exactly what were we going to sort out? Why did he leave? Why does he think I’m in danger?”

“He didn’t tell you anything?” Jin looked exhausted. Like he’d been crying.

Taehyung’s anger began to grow. Every moment could mean Jungkook was further away. But he had to find out what had upset him before he could convince him to come home.

“He told me nothing. He wouldn’t even let me touch him! He thinks he is going to hurt me. Why would you tell him that? You know Jungkook wouldn’t hurt me!”

“You’re absolutely right,” Jin nodded. “I don’t believe Jungkook would hurt you. I am positive of that. Especially now seeing how much he loves you. But Jungkook got his memories back suddenly and he came to me and – “

“Jin!” He shouted. “I just need to know the truth!”

“You’ve every right to be angry,” Jin looked at the table sadly. “You both do. This isn’t going to be easy for you hear. And I realize now that I should have told you. I should have told you both months ago, but I didn’t”

“I’m going to tell you everything. But you’ve got to sit down. I promise we’ll all hunt for Jungkook. He likely didn’t go far. But you need to know the whole truth before you see him again.”

Taehyung reluctantly pulled out the chair across the table and sat down. Crossing his arms. He didn’t want to sit while Jungkook was out in the rain alone, but he also recognized the mountain was huge and it would be very unlikely he would be able to locate him as quickly as the others could.

“Your mother,” Jin took a large sigh, bowed his head, and looked down at the table. He closed his eyes for just a moment before looking back up. “And Chun Jaeseok.”

“No…” He felt sick to his stomach. “Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi’s dad? The horrible doctor who killed your mom?” He shook his head. Terrified of what Jin was going to say next. “Do not tell me that he was my – “

“Oh no!” Jin must have read his mind. “No. No. Not that. Nothing like that. But yes that’s who I mean. He was their father, the doctor here, and basically the man who almost destroyed this village. Jungkook’s father trusted him. But his mother did not. And the only person Chun Jaeseok hated in this world more than Min Haena was Kim Noeul.”

“My mother?” Taehyung’s mind searched to put pieces together, but he didn’t have enough of them. He had never heard of Chun Jaeseok before coming to the mountain.

“Yes. he hated. Absolutely hated both your mothers.”

“So then did our mothers know each other? Like were they friends?”

Jin nodded. “More than. They were extremely close. There aren’t words for how close they were. Soulmates even. This mountain was never the same, has never the same without them.”

“Then my mother lived here before I was born, she grew up here?”

“No, your mother didn’t grow up here. But you did. You and she came to live here when you were just a toddler.” Jin stopped. “I know you don’t remember of any that. But I swear it’s true.”

Taehyung’s heart was pounding. The journalist in him wanted to fire question after question. But the stories he chased usually weren’t personal and he was able to calculate the next question and anticipate answers. All of that went out the window. This story hit too close to home.

He couldn’t argue. For as much of a shock as it was to hear it, something in him knew it was true. And something in him knew that he had known it on some level from the night he arrived.

“I don’t have any solid memories of my childhood. My mother told me little things here and there, but I don’t have any memories of my own. Not until I was a teenager.”

“That’s my fault,” Jin said guiltily.

“Your fault? How could that be your fault?” Taehyung’s patience was growing thin. He looked toward the door. The tiny window had darkened. It was raining harder and Jungkook was still out there. Alone. “Look I don’t want to be a dick, but I need to get to the bottom of this. You need to tell me quickly exactly what I need to know.”

“That’s just it, Taehyung, you need to know everything. Or none of this will make sense. I know you have questions. And I promise I will answer anything. Just let me explain.”

Taehyung nodded. His knuckles clinched.

“You could say Jeon Wonshik, Jungkook’s father, ran things in the village and on the mountain much like Jungkook tries to do now. His wife, Haena, was the most beautiful person I have ever seen. That anyone’s ever seen. Both inside and out. And she was so good. She would go regularly to the city to volunteer at orphanages and take food to shelters. They didn’t have any kids of their own for quite a while, but I swear Haena was born a mother. She cared for everyone. If anyone needed a home or anything she gave it to them. Many of the residents of this village were those very people that just needed a place to call home. And of course, she had a soft spot for children.”

“Haena met your mother at an orphanage in the city. She was working there as a cleaning lady. Totally alone with you as a brand-new baby. They instantly became friends. The next winter, when you were a toddler, Haena returned from a day trip to the city bringing you and your mother, and two other boys from the orphanage who were a little older than you. They had grown very attached to your mothers. Haena brought you all to the village to celebrate Dongji. I was only five or six, but I remember it. It’s one of my first memories. And there was no doubt once you all arrived that you belonged here with us not at that pitiful orphanage. In fact, Haena probably wouldn’t have allowed you to return. At that time Jungkook was just a few months old. She told Jungkook’s dad that she wanted the four of you to live here permanently. She literally could have asked Wonshik, for anything and he would have agreed. He adored her. I mean we all did. And he agreed that this was where you belonged.  That’s how you, your mother and the other two little boys became a part of our pa…our family. The other two little boys were – “

“Sungwoon and Hobi.” It suddenly made sense why they were so close.

Jin nodded. “Your mothers were inseparable. They raised all of us together. Jungkook’s dad was busy running things in the village and on the mountain.  But they took care of everything else especially all of us along with my parents who owned this tavern. The four of them took care of all of us for many years.”

Taehyung felt sick and sour.  “I’ve wondered who my father was. My mom always said I didn’t have one. But I never believed her. She must have been ashamed to reveal to me she was an unwed mother so she lied.”

“I don’t think she lied, Taehyung.” He paused as though there was more to say, but he simply said. “She didn’t lie.”

“But she did lie. She never told me about any of this. When I would ask her why I didn’t remember being little, she would say that wasn’t uncommon or not to worry about it. That the present was the only thing that mattered.” He leaned forward raising his voice.

“Hold on, hold on.” Jin put his hands up. “I know that’s what it sounds like, but once you hear everything, you’ll understand why she never told you.  She did what she did to save your life. And she did. And because of that, you were able to come back to us.”

Taehyung settled back in his chair, nodded, and bit his lip.

The tavern door swung open. Namjoon, Hobi, and Yoongi came running in dripping wet and slammed the door against the wind behind them.

“I guess monsoon season is here!” Namjoon exclaimed as he tried to shake the water off.

The three used the towels Namjoon had grabbed from the bar and started wiping themselves down.

Jin and Taehyung silently looked on.

“Did we interrupt something?” Yoongi asked hesitantly.

Namjoon and Hobi stopped wiping with the towels and looked up as well waiting for Jin to answer.

“Yeah.” He looked from them back to Taehyung. “We were having a conversation we should have had a while ago. I fucked up. I should have listened to you Yoongi.”

The three cautiously approached the table.

“You mean…?” Namjoon looked at Jin in a way that Taehyung had never seen in all the time he’d known him.

Jin nodded. “It’s probably good you’re all here. If you want to sit down. It may make it easier if we do this together.”

All three pulled out chairs. Namjoon and Hobi sat on each side of Jin as Yoongi joined Taehyung on his side of the table.

Taehyung’s impatience returned. “I get it. I grew up here. But you haven’t told me anything that explains why Jungkook ran away.”

“Jungkook’s run away?” Hobi eyes widened towards Jin. The tension in the room multiplied exponentially.

“He says he needs some time,” Jin tried to explain. “This morning, he had kind of a flood of memories. Like everything. And he came to me and I told him the truth. And he left. Said he wouldn’t ever be able to trust himself again…but – “

“Should we go look for him?” Hobi looked worried.

“Yes, but not yet.  He just needs time...” Jin looked back at Taehyung. “Right now, we need to try to make things right with our other brother.”

Yoongi put his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. “I hope you know how much we’ve missed you.”

Taehyung felt numb. Nothing they were saying was anything he had known before, yet nothing about it was unfamiliar. Of course, he’d grown up here. Of course, he and Jungkook had grown up together. That was why they had the connection they did.

He turned his attention back to Jin. “So my mother took me from the mountain when I was a teenager to save my life?  Save me from what? The virus? That doesn’t make any sense. How did you all survive?”

Jin glanced toward Yoongi. Yoongi glanced toward Namjoon. Namjoon looked at Hobi. Hobi looked back to Jin.

“Stop! Enough with the bullshit” Taehyung shouted and slammed his hand onto the table. “You promised me the truth. You owe me that.”

“Sort of,” Jin swallowed hard. “Remember what we told you about Jaeseok and how my mother died. And his clinic and all the ideas he had about how men had to in power and all that antiquated shit like making everyone follow his rules and like – “

Namjoon interjected, “– like having some super bloodline by using Jungkook, who he assumed was an Alpha, to mate with his Omega son so he would have a chance at control of the pack. And you – “

Jin sprung to life in a panic, trying to stop Namjoon who didn’t seem to think he’d said anything wrong. “Uh – no Joon. Wait a minute.”

“I’m just saying he was a big threat to his plans.” He turned back toward Taehyung. “He wouldn’t have let you live, Taehyung. That’s why you had to leave.”

Jin dropped his head to the table. Namjoon looked at him in confusion, “what, Jin?”

The silence that filled the tavern was deafening. There was no noise. Not one person breathed. The only sound was the rain hammering on the roof and an occasional rumble of thunder. His mind again went to Jungkook. Alone in the storm in the woods. Taehyung had to find him. There wasn’t anything he was going to hear that was going to change that.

“I hadn’t gotten to that part yet.” Jin said as he raised his eyes and looked at Joon in irritation.

“You mean you hadn’t told him about the…” Namjoon said sheepishly.

Taehyung was over the secrets. For as much as he still didn’t know the whole story, he had already figured out one thing for himself.  

“The pack!” He yelled louder and with more anger than he intended to. “The wolf pack. Dammit I know about you guys. I know. I know Jungkook can change. I know he can shift into a wolf. I know he’s the wolf with the black coat. And then he confirmed it a half an hour ago. And then just a few weeks ago, after I saw Hobi with a few wolves outside the tavern, I began to suspect at least some of you were too.”

He stood up. “But I don’t care about that! I don’t care about you guys being a pack. I just need to find Jungkook and we can figure this out together.”

“No, you can’t,” Yoongi put his hand on Taehyung arm. “Trust me, Taehyung. Jungkook won’t let you near him. And he’ll know when you’re close. You’ll never be able to get to him.”

Taehyung shook his arm loose. “I’m not letting him just stay out there alone. He’s upset! Why aren’t you guys worried!”

“He’ll be okay,” Jin tried to sound convincing. “It’s just going to take some time. It’s going to take both of you some time. And we’re going to be here for you and we’ll do anything we – “

“Fuck that,” he hissed angrily as he turned toward the door. “You’ve already done enough. I just want to find him.”

Yoongi’s hand shot out again and grabbed Taehyung’s wrist. Much more firmly this time. “Tae, listen to me. You can’t just go chasing him in this downpour. Jin and Namjoon will go find him. You stay here with Hobi and I. There are some other things you need to know before you see him again. Namjoon’s only partially right. Jaeseok did want you dead. But he wouldn’t have done it himself. It was Jungkook who was brainwashed and trained to kill you.”

Taehyung relaxed his arm and quit struggling.

“You need to know why. And you need to know about your mother.” Yoongi said sternly. “Sit down.”

Jin and Namjoon rose from their seats and looked at Yoongi with gratitude. “We’ll find him,” Namjoon assured him.

Jin looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock. “Taehyung, you can blame me for keeping all this a secret. Yoongi told me we needed to tell you both. I was just hoping that the memories would never come back and when things started going to well between you…I made a mistake. I should have told you.”

Taehyung was too furious and worried to respond. And Jin didn’t wait for an answer as he and Namjoon headed out into the rain.

Taehyung dropped into his seat and scoffed. “So, you guys are all wolves. I guess you guys did a better job than Jungkook at hiding it.  I suspected he was the black wolf back in the winter when I never saw them together and he got crazy jealous when I talked about him.”

“Not all the guys. Yoongi, Joon and Jin are. Jimin too. Just me and Sungwoon - we’re the only two who are simply human.”

A chill went up Taehyung’s spine and the hair stood up on his arms.  “And me? I’m simply human.” He wanted it to come out as a statement, but it turned out to be more of a question.

Yoongi put his hand on Taehyung’s thigh. And he knew.

“We’re not sure. But we suspect you are a wolf too. Your mother was.”

“I think I’d know if my mother had been a wolf and especially I would know if I was one,” Taehyung deadpanned. The information was a lot to take it. He had been misled about who he was and where he came from his whole life. But he was certain he would have known if he was a wolf.

“Your mother probably never shifted after she left the mountain. Or if she did, she hid it from you.” Yoongi explained. “When you left at 16 you hadn’t presented yet. That was actually one of the things that put you in danger of Jaeseok and all his plans. The not knowing what you’d be. That was also one of the reasons Namjoon befriended you in the city. But you never presented. We think it’s because you were so far from the pack and the mountain. But we don’t know. And we don’t know if it’s too late and you never will and we don’t know what you would be if you did.”

Taehyung shook his head emphatically. No, it was not possible. And yet it was. Things that had confused him now made sense. His mother’s protectiveness. Her fear of doctors and consequently never taking him to one. Everything with Jungkook was beginning to make sense.

Taehyung swallowed back his tears and the words that were repeating over and over in his mind. The ones that he didn’t want to say aloud, but were truer than anything he had ever known.

I need Jungkook. I want him here with me. I need him here with me.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi’s intuition was as usual, spot on. He wasn’t okay.

“I’m trying to be. But it’s hard. It’s been one fucking lie after another. I don’t know how I can ever think of anything as true again. My mom lied about my whole life. This whole wolf pack thing. Even Jungkook lied to me about that. And you’ve lied to him about his whole life.” He stopped and looked at Yoongi in with exhaustion. “I bet there wasn’t a virus was there?”

Yoongi tilted his head. “In a manner of speaking there was. Not like you think of a virus. But it was a virus of misogyny and hatred and corruption created by fear and nurtured by a really fucked up man. Who wanted power more than anything. And he destroyed anything that stood in the way. Or he tried to. Jaeseok hated your mothers and everyone loved them. I mean everyone. I believe even this mountain mourned her when Haena died. Just like it did when your mother had to leave.”

Yoongi cleared his throat. “When your mother arrived all his attempts at power were thwarted. Noeul and Haena were a force to be reckoned with. Your mother was an Alpha and she gave Jungkook’s mother the courage and the strength to be even more of who she already was. They devoutly followed the goddess. Both of your mothers were very wise women and knew every herb and plant in the forest and always had better cures that Jaeseok did. They celebrated every phase of the moon. They celebrated nature and children. They were devoted to Dalnim, to both you boys and us.”

“And each other,” Hobi interjected.

“Jeon Wonshik, Jungkook’s father, was an Alpha too. And he loved Haena, his Omega deeply but he also respected and loved Noeul for what she meant to your mother and how much she loved her. No jealousy no rivalry. But Jaeseok was always whispering in his ear. And he hated your mother for all those things. For the power she held with Haena and what they could do together. When he killed Jin’s mother by allowing her to die, they became louder in their distrust of him.”

“So they stood in the way of his plans?” Taehyung thought about his mother. She’d always been strong. But he’d had no idea just how much so.

“They did.” Hobi confirmed. “He was a Beta and he was never going to be able to get the power he craved and thought he deserved while they were both alive. And one winter day Haena wanted take your mother’s red porridge for Dongji to the orphanage. Normally your mother would have gone with her but they didn’t want to leave you boys alone with Jaeseok lurking. And so she went alone -.” He stopped and pursed his lips like the next words wouldn’t come.

“She was killed in a hit and run,” Yoongi said quietly. “Supposedly an accident…but no one really believes that. Jaeseok arranged it. And she died before your mother and Wonshik got to her.”

Hobi wiped a tear with the back of his hand. “It nearly killed all of us. Jeon Wonshik lost his mind with grief and was no longer functioning anything like an Alpha. Which gave Jaeseok an opening to enact his next plan. Your mother was broken. But she pulled you and Jungkook even closer to her, never letting either of you out of her sight. She lived in the cabin you’re staying in and she brought Jungkook to live with her and you. She took care of you both. You were teenagers – 14 and 16. Everyone knew you’d likely be presenting soon.”

“Haena was out of his way and the pack was weakened with grief after losing Jin’s mother and now Jungkook’s mother. And for Neoul and Wonsik – they lost their mate. But there was still another hurdle for him. And that was you. You were the other thing about your mother that he hated. Because you weren’t born of a man, he said you were against nature. But we knew what he was afraid of. I think he had planned from the time Jungkook was born that he would manipulate and use him to take control of the pack, but then you came along, and he couldn’t separate you two. And your mothers would NOT let him. And if you were to present as an Alpha, he thought you’d challenge Jungkook. And if you presented as an Omega then you and Jungkook would most likely mate. And he didn’t want either of those things to happen. But especially not that. He had to control the outcome.”

“Your mother, just like Haena,” Yoongi continued, “always believed in letting nature take its course and they didn’t care who any of us loved or what ‘roles’ we wanted to play as adults as long as we were happy. She protected you and Jungkook for months after Haena’s death as best as she could. And then suddenly we were told Jimin was sick and in the medical clinic – the building that used to sit right out back next to where the garden is – Sungwoon would sneak in and visit Jimin and he found out that Jaeseok was planning to take Jungkook next and isolate them there to convince them by whatever means necessary to go along with his plan. Your mother knew she had to get you and Jungkook away from the mountain immediately.

The dots were beginning to connect but he still had questions. “Why Jimin?”

Yoongi and Namjoon were Betas which was a huge disappointment to him. He really wanted one of his three sons to be an Alpha. I think he stole all three of them as babies from other packs hoping he’s increase his chances. He never got one, but he could do something with an Omega. All Jaeseok’s hopes centered on him. Jimin and Jin would have been the choices as the only Omegas. But Jin was a no because first of all he wasn’t his son and he couldn’t manipulate him, he was already with Namjoon, and he didn’t want to bear children especially after what he saw his mother endure. Jimin was his prime choice because Jimin did want those ‘traditional’ things – or I should say what Jaeseok considered was normal – with the exception that Jimin felt in love with a human, Sungwoon.”

“Jimin didn’t want to be with Jungkook then?” Taehyung remembered how Jungkook said he used to dream of Jimin crying. It wasn’t a dream after all.

“No, Jimin wanted to be with Sungwoon. But that fucking psychopath was determined to mate him with Jungkook so that they would run the pack, but really, he would be in control. Noeul didn’t want that to happen to Jungkook. And then when Jaeseok told her that you would never be safe and he would see to it that Jungkook killed you one day and he would make her watch – she swore to protect you both with her life.”

“The plan was to get you all three to the city so you could be safe until we could figure out what to do. But on the day you were supposed to leave, your mother was packing. You and Jungkook were out in the forest, but only you returned. Beaten and bloody and crying because Jaeseok had taken Jungkook. She came to us and we all tried to plead with Jaeseok, Then we tried to  plot to help Jungkook escape. But by nightfall, we knew we had to get you out.”

“Fucking hell!” Taehyung couldn’t contain himself. Even though he didn’t have clear recollection of the memories, as each one was recounted, he felt every emotion. Yoongi reached for his hand and held it tightly on his lap under the table. Using his thumb to stroke the tops of his knuckles. “Why don’t I remember any of this?”

“Jin made you forget.” Yoongi explained. “It was the only way to get you to leave. You refused to leave Jungkook here. But we didn’t have choice. We knew you forgetting wouldn’t last forever, but we didn’t know how long. And we expected that you coming back here would reignite some memories and it clearly has.”

“Jin made me forget? How? Why?”

“Soup. He made it right here in the kitchen. Put it in a thermos and gave it to you and your mom. For you to drink while Namjoon drove you to the city. By the time you finished it, you didn’t remember a thing about growing up here on the mountain.”

“The memories did start to come back when I got here.” Taehyung recalled. “Not long after I arrived, Jin gave me some soup for a hangeover. He put the rest in a thermos. When he handed to me that morning I had a flash of a memory but it didn’t make sense. It does now.”

“Namjoon enrolled in university in the city and got an apartment. He stayed close to make sure you were okay. But never interfered in your life. Your mother just wanted to protect you and even when he tried to tell her Jaeseok was dead, she still didn’t want to bring you back. We know that he did a lot of things to Jungkook and she was afraid his mind might have been turned against you forever.”

“I saw your mother’s face as Namjoon drove you guys away. I knew she would never be the same. Leaving Jungkook here broke her heart. She begged us to do everything and anything we could to rescue him. And we tried everything. Wonshik basically just gave up on living after you guys left and Jaeseok took Jungkook to the clinic. Jungkook was in there for months. But when the clinic was set on fire, he ran in to rescue Jungkook. He saved his life, but he lost his own.”

Taehyung remembered the story Jin told. “The clinic was set on fire by Jin’s father. And so he, Jaeseok and Jungkook’s dad all died in it.”

“Yes.” said. “But Jin’s dad didn’t know anyone but Jaeseok was inside. He went to seek his revenge on him for Jin’s mother’s death and to destroy the clinic which was like the symbol of everything that had gone wrong. He had taken to drinking so much after the death of his wife, he had no idea what had been  going on for years. When he realized that the three boys were in there, he went in with Wonshik to rescue them.”

“Three?” Taehyung was confused.

“Sungwoon just happened to have snuck in that night. It was nothing short of a miracle that he and Jimin and Jungkook survived. Sungwoon was burned badly. And the whole village would have burned from the spreading fire if the monsoon rains hadn’t come down so hard on that exact night. It extinguished the fire and then within a few years we tore down the remains and turned it into more garden.”

“We all knew what a monster Jaeseok was. And no one still knows for certain exactly what happened in the clinic. We realized after it burned that it had been worse than we could’ve imagined.”

“Why didn’t Jungkook know any of this until tonight? He’s been living here all this time. How did you keep this from him and why?”

“After the fire, Jungkook was miserable. He wouldn’t tell us everything that happened but Jaeseok had done everything to convince him that you were the enemy. He couldn’t even tell us without breaking down or into a fit of rage. He missed you. He missed your mother. I think he knew why you had to leave, but it hurt him a lot. He felt abandoned and he knew that you wouldn’t remember him anyway. And at the same time, he was always saying he never wanted to see you again. His mind was so messed up. One night he came to me. I didn’t think he'd make it through the night he was so broken, he begged me to do the same thing for him. To give him the same soup. He said if you had forgotten him, he wanted to forget everything too. And so that night I did. And when he awoke, he didn’t remember anything, we tried to help him take his role as Alpha, but nothing was ever right again.”

“Until now, Taehyung.” Yoongi looked him directly in the eye. “Jungkook’s never been like this before. You two are meant to be together. I don’t think he’d ever hurt you. He loves you. But he’s afraid.”

 “We understood why your mother didn’t feel she could take the risk of returning with you and we respected her. But the plan was always that one day, when the time was right, we would bring you back. When she died, Namjoon knew you needed a friend and then when the case came up to protect the mountain, we saw it as our chance to bring you home.”

“What’s going to happen to me now? Am I going to shift?”

“Possibly,” Yoongi said hesitantly. “It looks like your body has been trying. And now that you know the truth, as your memories come back, it’s likely. But I don’t know what you’ll be and that scares Jungkook too. If you’re an Alpha you might want to challenge him and he might have to kill you. There is a chance you could be an Omega, but I really don’t think so. Jimin and Jin don’t think you are either. But there are other things. Rare things you could be. Your mother was rare. Nature makes the rules, but she also breaks them. Only time will tell. But you aren’t alone. Like Hobi said, we will be here to help you through this.”

Taehyung didn’t know what emotion to feel first. His mother and Namjoon had both withheld the truth from him. He was angry and wanted to lash out. But at the same time, Jungkook was somewhere in the forest, alone, and he couldn’t stop himself from want to run out and find him. Especially after everything he was hearing.

Hobi reached across the table and put his hand on Taehyung’s. “I hope you can forgive us one day. I swear we never wanted to hurt you. None of us did.”

Yoongi put his hand on his shoulder. “We were young. We did the best we could. I can’t say we were right. Hell, it’s clear now that maybe we weren’t.  But we were young. And we were grieving too. I hope you can forgive all of us.”

An anguish welled up inside Taehyung that he didn’t know how to express. He had spent almost a year on the mountain with these guys. He didn’t believe they were bad people. And there wasn’t any doubt they had regrets. He wasn’t angry at them. He wasn’t angry at all. But he also wasn’t ready to forgive anyone yet either.

Taehyung was too many things all at once and he didn’t know how to express any of it. “Jungkook is gone because of me. And now he’s alone. And now I don’t know what is happening to me. I know you guys think you did the right thing, but he trusted you. And I trusted Namjoon and you guys too. And my own mother dammit.” He pushed his chair back angerly and stood up. “I just don’t know. I don’t know what to feel about any of this. But I have to go back to the cabin in case he returns. I need to be there if he does. And if he doesn’t, we’ve got to find him.”

He could hear them still calling out his name as the door slammed behind him. But he didn’t care. He started up the hill the shock slowly giving way to anger. Jin and Namjoon met him halfway. He didn’t want to see them, but he wanted to know if they’d found Jungkook.

“We found him,” Namjoon started. “But Taehyung, he isn’t ready yet. He’s gone to the other side of the mountain. You’re going to have to just wait.”

“Why should I believe you,” he said bitterly. “Either of you.”

Jin put his hand on his shoulder. “Please, Taehyung.”

Taehyung shrugged it off. Still too angry. “Leave me alone. I just want to be alone.” He pushed by them and began to run. And the angrier he got, the faster he tried to run. But his heart and lungs ached.

He didn’t even know where to start looking for Jungkook. He’d never been to the other side of the mountain. He didn’t trust his sense of direction. He could easily get lost in the rain. And then he might never see Jungkook again.

He bowed his head, rain dripping from his face mixing with his tears. He was tired.

Opening the cabin door. He stomped inside and slammed it behind him. Threw himself onto Jungkook’s mattress. Buried his face in the mountain of blankets and pillows and cried himself to sleep.

There was nothing to do but wait.  And Taehyung wasn’t even sure if waiting would bring Jungkook home. But it was the only thing he could do.

For a week or so he walked the woods looking for Jungkook. But he knew that was most likely in vain. Jungkook knew the woods so much better than he did.

If Jungkook didn’t want to be found up there, there was no way that Taehyung was going to find him.

It was a useless endeavor, but one he attempted anyway.

And then the rains came even harder.

So hard that walking in it was not feasible.

It was like nothing Taehyung had ever seen. Monsson season in the city was bad, but life still carried on. Up on the mountain everyone grinded to a halt. Little movements could be seen here and there, but everyone, the people, animals, insects, and even the flowers who would fold up their dewy petals seemed to go into hiding.

And Taehyung did the same.

He didn’t care if he ran out of groceries. He wasn’t interested in eating.

The guys, however, weren’t going to let him waste away. Every few days a plate or pot of something would be laying on the front porch. There would often be a knock. A gentle voice would call out and ask if he was alright. Sometimes they just knocked and waited. Sometimes the voice simply said some version of we’re so sorry please forgive us.

One July morning, Namjoon’s shared news through the locked door that should have pulled him from his despair, but it didn’t.

“Taehyung! We just got word! The Ministry of Environment is declaring the mountain an endangered and protected space. We’re never going to have worry about our home being destroyed. Ever.!”

It was the final thing Taehyung had waited for. Even though they had all celebrated when word came that they Winter Olympics committee was going to utilize the other location, it didn’t mean that they wouldn’t have to fight this fight again on another day.

Now they would never have to fight for their land and their home again.

The victory fell flat without having Jungkook there to celebrate with.

Nothing was right without Jungkook around. And even though he no longer felt the fear he had in the early months, his sleep was interrupted with bad dreams and obsessive thoughts.

The memories he had never known, began to slowly take shape in his mind. Little by little things would trickle into his brain. Sometimes he thought he was simply forming a memory around what Yoongi and Jin had told him. But others came back so strong and vivid, he knew they were his own that had been buried for a decade in the recesses of his mind.

He wondered if Jungkook had continued to remember more. More than anything he wanted to talk to him to and remember together. And he was terrified of having a moment of total recollection like Jungkook had.

Above all, he just wanted to hear him. The silence at night was deafening. There were all the night noises of the forest and the relentless rain on the roof that came so quick and hard it trickled over the eaves. But these were of no comfort.

He had known the comfort of Jungkook’s howl. And then Jungkook’s steady breath rising and falling next to him in bed. Some nights he was certain he would never fall asleep again without it.

Not once did it occur to him to leave. There was nothing, not even wild horses, that could have dragged him from the mountain.

The first weeks of July seemed as endless as the rain. And the loneliness and the longing beat on his soul just like the huge drops outside. He finally did accept the offerings of food. He still didn’t want to see anyone and he waited until they were no longer near the door before he would open it a crack, retrieve whatever item had been left, and quickly close the door again.

As he picked at the food and forced himself to eat, he went over everything in his mind.

The story of his and Jungkook’s past, how it was intertwined with the mountain, and the other guys. How painful it must have been for them to carry the burden of the memories and to take the risk of reintroducing Taehyung to the mountain.

The danger inherent in simply bringing him home.

And he thought of their mothers. His own mother’s protectiveness of him. Her seemingly untouchable grief. That he could now see what regret and loss.

He missed her more than ever.  

And he missed Jungkook more than he’d ever missed anyone in his life.

The rain and moisture intensified the smells on the mountain. And he could still smell him. In fact, even the day Jungkook ran away, his scent didn’t leave.  Taehyung wasn’t sure if that was because it was so strong, but he hoped it was because Jungkook was near. He took to sitting at the window that faced the tree line and he waited and watched for just a glimpse. Staring through the bark and the limbs, almost like he was in a trance.

A flash of black moved through the trees out of the corner of his eye.

And the next day he took his post and willed himself not to blink.

Another flash of black.

In his head he knew it could be anything, but in his heart, he knew it had to be Jungkook.

And then one late July day, a small reprieve from the rain. It was shortly after sunset, when the blue twilight illuminated the wet trees. He was ready to give up his watch at the window for the day when he saw it again but this time the black flash of color slowed and stopped in the trees.

And stared right at him.

Jungkook. Taehyung gasped.

The black wolf bolted back into the trees.

He knew he couldn’t catch him, but he was more determined than ever to find him.  Stepping outside immediately would only drive him further away.

Taehyung waited. Hopeful that the rain would continue it’s break for just a while longer. He paced the floor and ate his dinner. Repeatedly glancing out the window.

No rain was falling, but the waxing moon was midway in the sky. Dancing in and out of the clouds. He whispered his gratitude at the realization that this was his chance.

Shortly after midnight, he put on his shoes and stepped onto the porch. She was now high in the sky and every wet branch glistened in her light. He closed the door quietly and descended the stairs.

He knew Jungkook wasn’t far, and while he wasn’t positive of exactly where he was, he had an idea.

Taehyung had never walked successfully to the waterfall on his own. Last time he tried he had ended up in a bank of snow.

But tonight, it was clear he knew the way. Jungkook’s scent was strong and his feet automatically took one step after the other, each more certain that the last that he was on the right track.

Certain and yet quiet. All his instincts seemed to be in charge. Leading him to Jungkook. And he knew he needed stay undetected as long as possible so as not to startle him.

The clearing came in to view.

And there, facing the water, sitting back on his hind legs, was the black wolf, staring up at the moon.

Taehyung held his breath.

There was little chance he could sneak up without being noticed, but he had to try.

He wasn’t afraid of Jungkook being startled and angry or of what might happen to him. He was most afraid that he would run again.

The black muzzle lifted into the air and sniffed.

He knew he was discovered.

As the wolf turned to confirm his presence, Taehyung quickly called out.

“Do you think they can see us?”

It worked. Jungkook didn’t run. Who?

Taehyung took a tentative step forward. “Our mothers. I think on a night like tonight, I look at the moon, at the face of Dalnim and I see my mother. I see your mother.”

Jungkook looked up again at the silvery glow.

“I know everything, Jungkook. And it’s alright. I mean it’s not because it’s all really messed up, but it makes sense now.”

Jungkook looked back at him as he carefully approached, his body was poised to run. His shoulder blades twitched.

“Please, Jungkook. I’m not afraid. I’ve never been afraid of your wolf. You know that.”

Even without verbal confirmation, Taehyung knew he had finally said something that had a chance of convincing him. His body changed. Less tense. He sat back again.

Taehyung extended his hand.

Jungkook didn’t run.

He took a few more steps until he was right in front of him and then lowered himself to the ground.

On his knees, he was eyelevel with the black wolf’s chest. He couldn’t wait another moment. His hands went up into Jungkook’s fur up over the joints of his front legs and leaned forward as he buried his face into his fur. Deeply inhaling Jungkook’s familiar scent. Overcome with the peace of being near him again.

“I missed you so much.”

The black wolf whimpered and lowered himself to the ground allowing Taehyung to wrap his arms around his neck, nuzzling his face and whispering into his fur.

“You, Jungkook. I’ve missed you. Every side of you. Not just your wolf, but all of you. I love all of you.”

The fur around Jungkook’s muzzle and neck was wet, but it wasn’t from the rain.

I love you too. That’s why I can’t be with you. Because what if you do shift and I hurt you. I don’t know what still is lurking in my head. Those memories came back and I snapped. What if I snap on you.

“Then I snap on you back,” Taehyung kissed and stroked his fur. “Anyway, we don’t know for sure that I’m going to shift. And we don’t know what I’d be. Yoongi said I could be something rare. But I wouldn’t challenge you no matter what I am.

The black wolf didn’t roll his eyes, but it was a look that conveyed the same meaning. Tae, you’ve been challenging me since the moment you got here.

Taehyung knew he couldn’t argue with that. Jungkook was right.

But he argued anyway.

“Yoongi said there is no way of knowing what I would be even if I were to shift at all, but he doesn’t think it would matter because…”

Because?

Taehyung rubbed his fingers deep into the black wolf’s coat. “Because of the way things are between us now. We love each other, right? I know you think what happened here a few weeks ago means that you have the capacity to hurt me, but I don’t think you do. Or you already would have.”

I don’t think my wolf would hurt you Like this you are safe. But I don’t know what I would do to you as a human. And I have no idea what would happen if we were both wolves. And I am too afraid to find out.

Taehyung could feel Jungkook’s stubbornness. There was little he could do or say to convince him. He didn’t think through what would happen if he provoked him. But it seemed to be the only thing left. “I though Alphas were supposed to be brave. But you’re going to let fear dictate the rest of your life? And mine? And what about believing that nature knows what it’s doing? You don’t trust that anymore? You think you know best what is to happen? Your plan is the right plan? The only plan?”

Taehyung could feel Jungkook’s anger rising, but he couldn’t stop himself. “You know you that sounds like to me? That sounds an awful lot like Jaeseok. Like you think you – “

The black wolf tensed and growled.

Taehyung was too driven with his mission to change Jungkook’s mind to feel any of the fear that he probably should have.

You don’t know what you’re talking about! You don’t understand! You’re an –

Jungkook didn’t finish the sentence, but Taehyung knew what the next word was going to be.

Outsider.

He stood and dropped his hands to his side. “Really? Jungkook. After everything? Now that we know the whole story – this is still who I am to you?”

Jungkook’s regret was immediate, but Taehyung ignored it. He turned to walk away from the waterfall and out of the clearing.

Wait, let me walk you back to the cabin so you don’t get lost.

“Are you coming back to stay with me? Are you coming home?”

The black wolf didn’t answer, but simply hung his head.

“Then don’t bother. I can find my own way back.”

Taehyung I can’t. I Can’t come home…

As hard as it was to walk away from Jungkook, he kept going. Didn’t turn around. Didn’t wait for him to finish the sentence. But he glanced up to the almost full moon that was beginning to make its descent into the western sky and whispered earnestly to her.

“Please, please, bring him home to me.”

As Taehyung walked back to the cabin, he could feel another storm was coming. By his best guess it was somewhere around 3am. All the way, he listened. Hoping to hear the steps of the black wolf behind him. But he never did. Only the chirping of the crickets heralding the certainty of another sleepless night.

Daybreak came with no visible sun. Just another day of torrential rain.

Taehyung stood next to the window and watched the tree line. He had expected – he had hoped that Jungkook would appear again.

He wondered how many more days he could go on such limited sleep. What would he do if Jungkook never came back?

He had to find something to pass the time or else go crazy.

Aimlessly wandering through the cabin, he went to the bookshelf. He had looked at it several times before Jungkook moved back into the cabin. Even picked out some books he might like to read at some point. Maybe there were books on wolves. He definitely didn’t know as much as he wanted and needed to.  There was nothing to do but wait for the rains to end and Jungkook to come home. He decided to pull out one of the titles that had intrigued him before.

As he went through each shelf, he noticed something on the second to the top shelf that hadn’t been there the last time he looked.

It was a small black lacquer box. His hand froze as he touched the top.

It wasn’t an uncommon find in a Korean home. He had one in his own apartment.

Carefully he lifted it from the shelf so that he could get a better look at it.

He could hardly believe his eyes. On the top, an inlay flowers made from mother of pearl.

It looked almost if not exactly like the box that held his mother’s ashes. The flowers were maybe a little different in arrangement, or perhaps not the same flowers. He couldn’t remember every detail of his mother’s box. Only that he knew that made it herself.

She had instructed him as a late teenager that when she passed, she wanted her ashes placed in the box that he watched her painstakingly make as she sat at the kitchen table.

His mind clouded and cleared. He felt dizzy.

No wait. She did that here. He watched her make the box right here in this cabin at this kitchen table.

He carefully placed the box back on the shelf so as not to drop it. He didn’t need to look inside to know those were Jungkook’s mother’s ashes. He remembered it so clearly now. After Haena passed, his mother spent all spring carving and then lacquering the box to hold her ashes. He and Jungkook had sometimes sat silently with her at the table as she assured them that things would be alright. But at night they could hear her on the porch crying alone in the moonlight.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. He glanced at the clock on the mantel. It was around the time someone would always bring some dinner and knock at the door.

Up until today, he still hadn’t answered.

Namjoon nearly dropped the pot he was holding in his hands when Taehyung opened the door and invited him in.

He was so surprised he didn’t move. Just stood frozen in the doorway with his mouth and eyes wide open.

“It’s okay, Namjoon.” Taehyung assured him. “Please come in.”

Namjoon didn’t say anything as he scurried past him and placed the pot on the table.

He turned back to Taehyung. “I’ve been so worried about you. We all have. Are you – “

The pain in his voice was evident. And the look on his face was relief mixed anguish of having worried for so long.

He took a step toward Taehyung like he might hug him if he would allow it.

Taehyung didn’t make him ask.

He moved forward as Namjoon rushed to him and embraced him hard. Patting him on the back and gripping him even harder. “You scared us. I’m so sorry Tae. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry for lying.”

“It’s alright. It’s alright.” Taehyung rubbed his back. “I’m alright.”

Namjoon pulled back, but still held onto his arms. Looking at him with worry. “No, you don’t look like you’re alright. You look terrible, Tae? Are you eating and sleeping?”

“Yeah, I’ve been eating some. Sleeping not so much. I try, but I just can’t get rested. Not without – “

“Have you seen him?”

“Yeah. Just yesterday. He was out at the tree line. I waited until dark and found him at the waterfall. He says he won’t come back.”

Namjoon hung his head. “Dammit. We haven’t seen him at all. Whenever we’ve gone running he manages to completely evades us. And we don’t want to chase him. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“I’m not giving up,” Taehyung assured him. “He has to come home.”

Namjoon didn’t say anything, but grabbed Taehyung’s arm again. “Really. I’m worried. You look awful. You need to let Jin come up here and make sure you’re okay.”

Taehyung shook his head. “No. I’m going to be fine. But there is one thing you can do for me.”

“Anything. Just name it.”

“When you are in the city, please go to my apartment and get my mother’s ashes. They’re on my bookshelf by my bed. It’s a small – “

Namjoon finished his sentence – “a small black lacquer box with mother of pearl flowers.”

“Yes. Please bring it to me.”

“I’m not surprised your mother made an urn to match the one she made for Haena,” he said sadly. “Tae, I hope you can forgive us for this. I swear we thought we were doing the right thing.”

“I’m not angry,” Taehyung embraced him again. “I know you guys did what you thought was right. But I’m not ready to see everyone again. Once Jungkook comes home we can all start over together.”

Namjoon nodded in understanding. And after a few more minutes he left Taehyung to his dinner with the promise to bring Noeul’s urn back to the mountain.

After dinner, Taehyung stood at the window again. The rain that had drizzled all morning had turned into a full-on storm by the time Namjoon left.

Still, he watched the tree line. Hoping.

It was hard to see through the large drops hammering to the ground, but he thought he saw some movement. Something dark.

Moving closer to the window he squinted.

 It was Jungkook.

Jungkook please.

No response. But the wolf in the distance didn’t move. He sat back on his haunches. The rain pelted him even through the canopy of trees. Taehyung worried. Wanted him to come in from the oppressive downpour even though he knew the guard hairs would protect him.

Alright if you have to stay there, if you have to stay a wolf, but please – just please don’t run away. Please don’t leave me alone.

It was going to have to be enough for him that Jungkook chose to stay in the tree line and watched the cabin. He could seek shelter in a den or other area of the mountain, but he didn’t.

Jungkook never responded. He just stared straight at Taehyung in the window. But he didn’t leave.

As darkness fell, the rain didn’t let up. Taehyung watched out the window until he could see nothing. But he wanted to believe the black wolf was still out there.

He shut off the lights in the cabin, but left the curtains open. Laying down on Jungkook’s mattress, he wrapped himself in the blankets that carried the familiar scent.

And he reassured himself that even if he didn’t sleep again tonight at least tomorrow there was a chance of seeing Jungkook in the tree line.

He stared at the ceiling. And then he heard it.

At first, he thought it was his imagination.

He strained his ears to listen through the rain.

It was a howl. It was Jungkook’s howl.

The calm that overcame him was immediate. His body sank into the mattress as his eyes got heavier and heavier. He wanted to just lay and listen to the howl. He wasn’t ready to go to sleep just yet. But there was no fighting it.

As he drifted between trying to stay awake to listen and letting the soothing howl lull him to sleep, he had a vivid vision of the waterfall and the clearing.

As he approached, two wolves came into view.

A stunning black wolf, similar to Jungkook, but slightly smaller. And by her side. A beautiful white wolf.  Taehyung reached out his hand to the white wolf as she nuzzled against it.

But he couldn’t resist Jungkook’s howling any longer. And as he fell deeply into much needed sleep, his last thought was of his mother.

Chapter Text

Jungkook couldn’t leave.

But not for lack trying. He tried several times.

Several times he told himself the only thing to do was to go to the other side of the mountain. Or even wiser another mountain entirely. He could never trust himself with Taehyung. And he could never trust his brothers again after they had misled him for so many years.

But as hard as it was to think of leaving the mountain.

It was impossible to leave Taehyung.

A few times, especially in the first days, he ran and ran as far as he could. Tried to settled in some caves on the other side of the mountain. But he couldn’t sleep. He was restless and distraught. And he could feel Taehyung was too.

Even if he couldn’t be with him, he could watch over him.

And that’s what he did.

At first, he tried to be discreet, but once Taehyung confronted him at the waterfall, he didn’t try to hide his presence anymore.

Taehyung had looked tired. Like he hadn’t slept in weeks. Jungkook was so worried that several times he considered going to his brothers and demanding they do something more to help him. But he knew in his heart that he was the only one who could do that.

That was why he returned to the tree line. But for as much as he tried to be strong, after being with him at the waterfall even just briefly, it was excruciating to let him go. Jungkook thought his heart would break right along with Taehyung’s.

He went back to the beginning. To the one thing he knew he had done to comfort Taehyung.

He howled again. And as he felt Taehyung fight and them give into the sleep, there was peace in knowing he could do this one small thing for him.

However, even after he lulled him into rest, when he heard him crying in his sleep, he almost lost his resolve and went to him.

But he didn’t.

He sat. Sometimes for hours staring at the cabin. Always relieved to see Taehyung staring back at him from the window.

Taehyung would call out, but Jungkook refused to answer. He used all his willpower to close his mind. To not respond to any of the pleas. Not answer any of the questions.

He knew the moment he opened those floodgates, there would be no stopping and he would rush to Taehyung’s side.

This would have to be enough.

He didn’t have a plan. Nothing outside of his daily commitment to making sure that Taehyung was okay.

He took as much solace as he could in seeing Taehyung’s face at the window.

At least once a day, he observed one of the guys bring something to the cabin and set it on the porch. He tried to never miss those moments when Taehyung would open the door just enough to pull it inside. There was comfort in seeing that he had finally started accepting the food they had made for him.

Jungkook only wandered away from the tree line for short periods of time. To run the mountain or to visit the clearing.

He pulled his isolation tightly around him. Avoiding the guys. Staying a certain distance from Taehyung and refusing to speak to him. He even shut out the voice of Dalmin. He would go to the waterfall, but he wouldn’t ask. And he didn’t attempt to listen. He was angry with everyone. And he pounded that anger into the forest floor as he ran as fast and as far as he could every day tempting himself to keep going, but knowing that no matter his efforts, he was always going to return.

Until one day, in early August after the rainiest July he’d ever known, Taehyung didn’t appear at the window.

Jungkook waited all day. Never allowing himself a run or any break at all.

For a moment he considered Taehyung had left the cabin. Considered that maybe he’d left the mountain. Assuming he would have given up eventually.  This was no life for him. Waiting at a window every day.

He dismissed those thoughts. He was certain Taehyung was still there.

First of all, he never saw him leave, and he was only gone from the tree line for short period. But more than that. He could still feel Taehyung in the cabin. Even though he never saw him all day.

The pot on the porch remained untouched.

And when night came, the lights didn’t come on in the cabin. And they never did all evening.

He howled just like he did every night, but he didn’t feel the usual relief emanating from the cabin as Taehyung drifted off to sleep. Instead it was a distant, detached feeling. As though Taehyung was already sleeping.

Jungkook tried not to worry. Taehyung had been exhausted the last time he saw him and looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks. Once he resumed his howling, he was certain Taehyung was getting more sleep. Perhaps he was catching up.

It also occurred to him that Taehyung was angry and avoiding him. And as much as that pained him, he told himself it would be all that much better if Taehyung were to stop waiting for Jungkook and go on with his own life.

He stayed at the tree line until around 3am. With a heavy heart he dragged his weary body to the clearing. The middle of the night was the one time of time he could be sure that all the guys would be asleep and wouldn’t catch him. There were several clouds in the sky, but he could still see the glow of the moon behind them.

The moon would be full tomorrow night.

Surely the guys would be gathering. He, of course, would not attend, but he hoped they could convince Taehyung to leave the cabin and join them. And if not tomorrow, then maybe next week during Chilseok. It wasn’t a big holiday, but it had always been another reason to gather and eat. And Jin would likely be making all his signature wheat dishes.

Either way, Jungkook took some comfort in the fact that the guys hadn’t give up on Taehyung. They brought food regularly and he’d even seen them wait and talk to him through the door. Just to make sure he was alright. He hated that he couldn’t take care of him like he wanted to, but he was glad they could.

When Taehyung would let them.

It hadn’t escaped Jungkook that Taehyung was just as stubborn as he was.

As he neared the waterfall, he thought about the memory again. Most, if not all of his had come back. And he had the most wonderful memories of growing up with Taehyung. Their mothers always together. The absolute bliss of being so thoroughly loved.

But this particular memory was the one that seemed seared into his brain. The one he could never get away from. The one that was awoken when Taehyung and he were wrestling in the clearing a few months ago and Taehyung pinned him. The one that then brought back all his memories as he stood paralyzed by fear in front of a terrified Taehyung.

It was the memory of morning they were separated.

Noeul had been packing up their things so that they could all three escape Jaeseok.  Taehyung and he were heartbroken, even though she assured them that they would all return one day. She didn’t want to let them out of her sight, but they convinced her that they would be safe at the waterfall. And they wanted to see it one more time before leaving.

But the morning had been memorable for another reason.

It was on that morning next to the water that, for the first time, they had confessed their deepest feelings.

Jungkook had told Taehyung he loved him. And Taehyung had responded with “of course, I love you too,” But when Jungkook reached out and touched his hand and their eyes met, they both knew that it meant something different than any of the other times they had said it. They’d grown up together as best friends, but the feelings had been brewing underneath and had transformed slowly into something more.

Something more that revealed itself right there on the bank of the plunge pond in front of the waterfall.

They shared their first kiss.

Jungkook remembered how all the fear he felt at leaving the mountain and going to the city disappeared while he sat their holding Taehyung’s hand.

They watched the waterfall together, occasionally turning to softly kiss and murmur to each other.

And then in an instant, the moment was shattered.

Jaeseok had entered the clearing. He had pulled Taehyung from Jungkook. Pulled him to his feet only to slap him across the face.

“You’re an aberration. You’ve no place here,” he had screamed at Taehyung.

Jungkook had tried to stop him. Jumped on his back, bit him. Beat at him with his fists. Begged even.

But the two teenage boys were no match for the fully grown man.

Repeatedly, he struck Taehyung barely giving him a chance to get to his feet. Jungkook screamed for help. The last bloodied hit dropped Taehyung to the ground.

Before Jungkook could run to him, Jaeseok turned.

“If you so much as touch him, I will kill him right now. Right here. In front of you and you will know forever that you could have saved his life if you had obeyed me.”

Jungkook stopped in his tracks. Fully aware that it would take very little for Jaeseok to take Taehyung’s life at this point.

Or either of their lives.

But he couldn’t see anything except Taehyung writhing in pain on the grass.

He pushed past Jaeseok and knelt next to Taehyung.

“It’s okay. You’ll be  - “

The last thing he remembered at the clearing was feeling Jaeseoks’ hands on his neck as he lost consciousness.

Of course, when he came to, he was in the clinic.

Immediately, Jaeseok had gone to work on his mind.

A particular moment of cruelty was then he allowed him to watch from the window that night at sunset when Noeul and Taehyung got into the car with Namjoon. Reiterating that if she cared she would have stayed. And then there was the constant barrage of “information” he shared about them. That she was sent to destroy the pack. That the plan was Taehyung would kill him and take his place. The lies combined with deprivation and physical torture all taking place under the backdrop of the first time he shifted created a perfect storm.

When he came to after the fire, the first thing he wanted to do was find Taehyung and his mother and kill them. As he had tried to heal, he understood he had been brainwashed. And when he saw the photos and went to the waterfall and the cabin he began to ache for Taehyung and he missed them both terribly, but the torment in his mind had nearly torn him apart.

Now that all his memories had returned, Jungkook thought back about the first time Taehyung came to the village to write the article to save the mountain. He was astounded that he didn’t try to kill him with his bare hands right then. Even after Jin had cleared him of all of his memories, both good and bad, the level of hatred and distrust Jaeseok had instilled in him in those few months were powerful and the remnants still remained.

The clearing was unusually quiet. He laid down next to the waterfall. The memories here were all just that. Just memories. Taehyung hadn’t died here that morning over a decade ago. And he was safe now. And as long as Jungkook watched over him, but never got too close to him again, he would remain safe.

A gust of wind rustled his black fur.

Nooooooo

The clouds above seemed to move with the sudden breeze as the nearly full moon came into view.

He gazed up at it as the light washed over him and he felt a tinge of regret. He had tried to silence everyone. Even Dalmin. But the moment reminded him how Yoongi always told him she never leaves.

Movement out of the corner of his eye pulled him from her gaze as he looked towards his right. A black wolf shimmered in the moonlight.

But it wasn’t just any black wolf. It was a vision of his mother.

As she approached, a lump formed in his throat. She was beautiful just as he remembered her.

When she got close enough, he closed his eyes and let himself feel her nuzzle against the top of his head. He could feel her tongue gently against his fur.

My precious boy

He wanted to speak, but the tears were too close.

You must face that which you fear. That is courage my son. It isn’t the absence of fear. You cannot be brave without being afraid. The shadows and light of your past have colored you but they are not who you are or who you will be.

Jungkook opened his eyes to see hers softly looking down at him. His eyes begged her.

Who am I?

You are my son, Jeon Jungkook. Listen to your heart. And to the heart that beats for you. You’ve saved this mountain. There is nothing to fear in your destiny.

All is well. All will be made well.

Even without looking up into the sky, he could feel the clouds begin to cover the moon. And while the feeling of her lingered, she disappeared right before his eyes as though she hadn’t been there at all.

As the sun came up, Jungkook headed back to the tree line. He was pleased that the rain seemed to be holding off for the day. Perhaps that would increase the chance that Taehyung might show himself. Or even step outside.

He took up his post and noticed that the drop off had already been made for the day. A small pile of things all stacked together along with the usual dish of food. He was curious and wanted to get closer to examine the items, but he held his spot.

The vision of his mother played over and over in his mind. Her presence was an immense comfort. Just to know she was watching. When he’d asked who he was, she had told him very plainly he was her son.

He sat in the tree line most of the day and thought about what that meant. His mother was fierce. But she was forgiving. She was loving. And even though according to someone like Jaeseok, her status as an Omega should have rendered her helpless and weak, she was actually a strong leader.

Every bit as strong as both her Alphas.

He knew forgiving Jin and the others was something he was going to have to do. Truth was that he wanted to. He missed them so much.

And Taehyung.

His mother had told him to listen to his heart. And that there was nothing to fear in his destiny. He wondered if that could be true. Maybe the guys could help by supervising him with Taehyung for a while. Maybe if he worked through the memories. Took things slow. Maybe he could make sure that he wouldn’t hurt him.

And she had said to listen to the heart that beats for you.

Taehyung.

He had not taken his eyes off the cabin all day, even as his thoughts consumed him. And he had not seen Taehyung at the window and he had not emerged from the cabin.

The items that had been left earlier on the porch were still there.

The sun was beginning to set and cast its orangey pink glow onto the front of the cabin. The light from the setting sun hit something in the items and made a glimmer of light that caught his eye.

He moved from the tree line to get a little closer to the porch in the hopes that he could see what had caught the sunlight.

Before he even got up on it, he was able to identify the item.

It was a small black lacquered box. The mother of pearl engraving on the top and the silver was what caught the light and make the sparkle. It looked exactly like the box that contained his mother’s ashes. The last time he was in the cabin they had been on the bookshelf. Why would they have been outside the cabin at all?

His eyes scanned the other items. There looked to be some frames, perhaps pictures. There was today’s dinner. But then he noticed there was also yesterday’s dinner as well.

He backed up.

Something was wrong.  

Taehyung had been silent and out of sight for too long.

He considered breaking down the cabin door. It had been months since he was last in human form and he still questioned his mindset in that form. As a wolf or a human, he didn’t think he should go in to Taehyung alone. But overall, being a wolf was safer.

He needed help. He needed his brothers.

He hadn’t been in the village or to the tavern since the last conversation he had with Jin on the day he ran off.

Surely someone was there as the full moon celebration was just hours away.

He raced into the center of the village and stood. Raise his head and howled.

Jin immediately emerged from the tavern.

“Jungkook!” he exclaimed. It was apparent in Jin’s eyes how glad he was to see him. “Jungkook, what’s wrong?”

Taehyung hasn’t been out of the cabin in two days. And there’s things for him on the porch and he hasn’t touched them.

He hoped his connection to Jin was still good enough that he could hear him.

“Yeah, Namjoon noticed earlier. That he didn’t touch yesterday’s dinner. He went up their today with some noodles. And Taehyung had asked Joon to bring his mother’s urn from the city. And I sent some pictures up too. Some old ones of your mothers and you both as kids. I thought he and eventually you might want to see.”

Jungkook hadn’t considered it was Noeul’s urn. But of course it made sense. She had carved his mother’s and hers to be the same.

I think you guys need to go check on him. Something is different. Something feels different. You need to make sure he’s okay.

“Don’t worry. Yoongi and Hobi headed up there not too long ago.”

I didn’t see them.

“They may have gone over to the firepit first to drop of some things for tonight. So maybe you just missed them. But I promise they went up together. They were going to try to get Taehyung to come to the fire for the full moon tonight.”

Jungkook looked nervously up the hill. If that were true then he wanted to head back up and go into the cabin to see Taehyung for himself.

“Jungkook, please wait a minute.” Jin beseeched him. “There is something I want to say to you. They’ll let us know if anything is wrong with Tae. But it’s you that I need to get this straight with. I regret so much I don’t know where to begin. I should have told you guys the truth as soon as he came. As soon as it looked like you were getting your memories back.”

Jin hung his head.  “This is all my fault.”

Jin –

“No,” he insisted. “What you’re going through now. It’s because we were too afraid. I was too afraid to tell you the truth. I just kept thinking that we could get you through and reunite you without having to make you face the past. I should have known it would backfire.”

I know you tried to spare us pain. The pain of remembering. Jungkook meant it. He was beginning to understand. How it’s possible to love someone so much that you’d do anything to avoid causing them pain. And then in those efforts to spare them pain, you end up causing them even more.

“I’m just so sorry,” Jin knelt next to him. “I think this will all be okay. Jungkook, you love him. You’ve loved him in some way your whole life. That’s why Jaeseok could have never entirely convinced you to turn on him. I suspected it even after the fire, but I knew it when you guys reunited. There isn’t anyone in this world that is Taehyung is safer with than you. And the same goes for him. And I can say that even though I don’t know what he’s going to shift into.”

Jungkook had forgotten about the possibility of Taehyung finally presenting after all these years.

You’re sure he’s going to?

“Yeah, we’re all sure it’s going to happen. Namjoon has seen him once and talked to him through the door. He doesn’t look great. That’s why Yoongi and Hobi went up there. We decided he’s got to let us in. He needs us. He needs you.”

I want to help. I want you guys to make sure I don’t hurt him. But I don’t want to be apart anymore. From him. Or from you guys. I don’t care what he shifts into. We’ll figure it out. I just want him to be alright.

Jin patted the top of his head lovingly and stood up. “He will be. Yoongi and Hobi will convince him to come down and tonight, together, we will all celebrate the full –"

He stopped abruptly and raised his head into the air as though he was listening. Jungkook only had a second to register Jin’s odd action when he suddenly felt something too.

He sniffed the air. Something was off. The rain had abated at least for the day, and the sky didn’t look ominous at all as twilight descended upon them and the full moon began her ascent. But something big was happening. Coming.

It felt like something had exploded. A clap of thunder that couldn’t be heard. A blinding lightning strike in some other realm. Nothing stirred there at the tavern, and looking up the hill towards the cabin, everything looked normal.

But something had happened.

Panic set in Jin’s eyes as his feet turned and he started to run towards the base of the hill. Jungkook was stunned. Like whatever had just happened had been around him, but also inside of him.

But when Jin moved, he followed. When he sensed Jin’s panic, he overtook him and ran quicker to the base of the hill toward the cabin.

He had just started up when Jin called out. “Jungkook stop!”

Jungkook halted his run and looked back at Jin for an explanation.

But Jin wasn’t looking at him. He was looking beyond him. Jungkook followed his open-mouthed gaze to the top of the hill where from the trees next to the cabin, a wolf was slowly advancing and coming into view.

It wasn’t Yoongi.

Yoongi followed right behind the striking icy bluish gray wolf with Hobi by his side.

Jungkook was awestruck. He had never seen a wolf like the one staring boldly down towards him.

The wolf stopped as Hobi and Yoongi continued walking towards Jungkook.

Jungkook looked between them and the wolf as they approached. The wolf at the top of the hill stood regally. Its head held high. It looked over the top of the village and back down the hill at them. Directly at Jungkook.

Is that - ?

Hobi was grinning widely and Yoongi appeared more at ease than Jungkook had seen him in a long time.

“Yes, that’s him,” Yoongi said with certainty. “We got to the cabin just in time to be there with him. He wasn’t alone. Not that he needed us. He was a bit disoriented, but he was ready.”

“Go to him, Jungkook,” Hobi whispered. “He’s waiting on you.”

Jungkook looked to Yoongi with uncertainty.

“It’s going to be fine. We’re right here. You’re both going to be fine.”

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

Yoongi and Hobi continued down the mountain until they reached the bottom where Jin was standing in shock.

Jin watched closely, unable to take his eyes off the black wolf ascending the hill towards the blue-gray wolf. Still concerned at what might happen. Jungkook was cautiously pacing up the hill toward Taehyung. When he got to the top the black wolf met the blue-gray wolf face to face.

Both Yoongi and Hobi seemed unbothered by the interaction happening on the top of hill.

“Are they…is that?”

Yoongi stood next to Jin and watched Taehyung and Jungkook at the top of the hill.

The wolves circled each other. Sniffing and pawing at the other.

“They’re going to be fine,” Yoongi patted Jin on the back. “Stop worrying.”

“How do you know?” Jin couldn’t take it eyes off them.

“Taehyung’s a Sigma.” Yoongi announced. “I’ve never seen one. I’ve only heard of them. But he’s one.”

“A Sigma? What does that mean? I always heard Sigmas can’t be part of pack. They’re lone wolves. They don’t mate or stay in one place. Can they – will they still get along?”

“I think so,” Yoongi mused. “I really do.”

Jungkook circled around Taehyung, Jin could feel the body language was of Jungkook was tense.

But the tension was short lived.

“Looks like it,” Hobi pointed to them.

They watched in awe as Jungkook lowered the front of body to the ground in a bow. Taehyung looked down at him. And they all held their breath as they waited.

And breathed a collective sigh of relief, when Taehyung began to lower the front of his body to the ground. Toward Jungkook. His paws outstretched.

From the distance it was hard to discern exactly what was getting ready to happen. Were they going to try to make the other submit? Would they suddenly growl and leap at each other trying to tear each other apart?

A sudden jerk of Jungkook’s outstretched paws and a flick of his head made it clear that they were play bowing. Made all the more obvious when Taehyung did the same.

Jin could feel Jungkook’s euphoria as he jumped up and Taehyung took off after him.

They watched in relief as the two chased each other up and down the hill. Howling and tumbling in the full moonlight. Until the howls began to get further away.

 And just like that the black wolf and the blue-gray wolf disappeared into the late summer night.

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

After weeks of rambling and roaming all over the mountain, they finally returned to the cabin.

They found temporary dens to sleep in, played in the river, and spent countless hours playing, running, and mating under the stars in the night sky.

But by September they had decided to return home to their cabin and their human bodies before Chuseok.

Jin and the guys had kept an eye on the cabin in their absence and made sure that the pantry was full for when they returned.

Jungkook foraged through the cabinets looking for something to eat.

“I’m starving,” he moaned. “You hungry?”

Taehyung stood just a few meters away from him leaned up against the wall, arms crossed. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m as hungry as you are though.” He laughed at Jungkook’s frantic searching. Marveling that even though he’d just spent a solid month with Jungkook alone as they lost themselves in the mountain they both loved, he still couldn’t quite get enough of him. And he was repeatedly struck again and again with how adorable Jungkook was. Whether as a human or wolf.

Jungkook had spent much of the month showing him what it was like to be a wolf. How to be a wolf.  And Taehyung had loved every minute of it. But he was glad to be back in this body, staring at the incredibly handsome shirtless man who was stuffing honey chips into his mouth.

“Wha’ sum’?” He mumbled while he chewed and held out the bag.

Taehyung uncrossed his arms and grinned as he took a handful from the bag.

He had noticed that as wolves they ate, but there was so much more to do and discover, it wasn’t the same as getting a hunger pang as a human and just wanting something to snack on. The chips felt odd in his mouth. Everything felt new after being exclusively in wolf form for such a time.

“You okay,” Jungkook swallowed and looked at him with concern.

“Yeah, yeah, definitely,” Taehyung assured him. “It’s funny. I feel at home in my body, but I also kind if miss the way it feels to be a wolf.”

Jungkook set the bag of chips on the counter and went to him. Put his hands on his hips, but didn’t say anything.

Taehyung cocked his head in question as Jungkook just stared lovingly at him.

But he honestly didn’t need Jungkook to tell him what he was thinking. He already knew. Every time he looked in his eyes.

“Jin brought some more pictures up. And we still haven’t looked at the ones he had Namjoon bring up when he brought my mom’s box. Would you want to look at them together this afternoon?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook eagerly agreed as he took a seat at the table where the photos had been stacked next to the black lacquered box that contained Taehyung’s mom’s ashes.

The first one they looked at gave them a laugh. The picture was marked on the back -  Children’s Day. In it, Taehyung and Jungkook somewhere around ages 6 and 8 stand in front of their mothers smiling ear to ear. Jungkook was dressed like the Cowardly Lion and Taehyung like the Scarecrow. With Haena dressed as the Tin Man, her arm around Noeul, who was right by her side.

They all look so happy. His mother is even more beautiful than he remembered with her blue gingham dress and double braids, dressed as Dorothy. The one who wanted to go back home.

But he didn’t remember the actual memory.

“I wish I could remember the moment this picture was taken,” he lamented aloud to Jungkook.

“Jin says it’ll come eventually,” Jungkook assured him. “It’s just going to take time. More memories have returned though, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Taehyung says. “Several, all throughout the day they hit me. Especially now that we’re back in the cabin.”

“Wait,” he feels something trying to break through. “If this was our Wizard of Oz Children’s Day, was Hobi Glenda the good witch and Jin the Wicked Witch of the West?”

Jungkook chuckled heartily before he was able to confirm. “Yep, and Jin was out of control. He ran around the village with his broom between his legs. He even painted his face green.”

Taehyung smiled. The memories come down on him like raindrops. A few will trickle down and plunk him on the forehead or hand. And then suddenly, he’s standing in a shower of them.

“Honestly,” Jungkook gets very serious. “There are some memories I am hoping you don’t ever remember.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“No way, if I tell you then you’ll remember.”

“So?”

“Because if you remember then you’ll probably try to kick my ass like you almost back then. And now our moms aren’t here to stop you.”

“Nope. Now you have to tell. Or I may just go ahead and try to kick your ass on principle alone.”

Jungkook grinned. “Well every time we played dakssaum I couldn’t knock you off balance. Like ever! It was so hard. You wouldn’t go down. You had crazy good balance.”

“Oh, oh, oh…” Taehyung got excited. “You’d deliberately hit me in the balls! Because then I’d lose my balance.”

Jungkook hid his face in his hands.

“I chased you all over the place. You’re right, I was totally going to kick your ass. But our moms wouldn’t let me.” He stopped and thought for another second. “Multiple times! You did that a lot!”

Jungkook peeked out from under a finger. “Look we were just into double digits. You were like 14 years old and I was 12 and puberty was coming and…”

Taehyung teasingly peeled his fingers from in front of his face, grinning. “Jeon Jungkook, were you trying to touch my – “

When he saw Jungkooks guilty face he broke into peals of laughter.

“Stop!” Jungkook swatted at him. “I had it bad for you.”

“No, I had it bad for you.” Taehyung shook his head. “And I still do. Even more now.”

Jungkook’s bashful smile was confirmation.

He did too.

They spent all afternoon looking through the stacks of pictures. So many memories. So much happiness. And in most of the pictures, their mothers are inseparable. Always together. Always smiling. They laugh wildly at the pictures of the other guys as children and teens. Their hair. Their awkwardness. As they finish up looking at the pictures, Jungkook suggested they either head to the tavern to convince Jin to fix them dinner or find something to eat in the cabin.

Taehyung wholeheartedly seconded the option of conniving Jin to fix them dinner, as he picked up his mother’s box from the table and held it in his hand.

Jungkook noticed and touched his other hand. “Hey, why don’t you put your mom’s box up there next to my mom.”

Taehyung nodded gratefully. It was the right thing to do.

As he sat the box next to Haena’s he scowled in confusion when he noticed that the lid on Haena’s didn’t look as flush with the base as what his own mother’s did. He got a little closer and peered at both to see what the difference was.

It was then he glimpsed a tiny bit of something white between the lid and the base on Jungkook’s mother’s urn.

“Hey Jungkook? Have you ever opened your mom’s box of ashes.”

“No!” Jungkook came over to the shelf. “Why would I want to see her ashes?”

“Well usually the ashes aren’t just lying in the urn, they’re in like a bag or something,” Taehyung explained. “But it looks like there might be something in the top of your mom’s box?”

Jungkook picked up the urn and turned it to examine it. “You’re right. It looks like a little white corner of something peeking out. Should I open it?”

“If you want?” Taehyung was curious, but he would have never made that decision for him.

Jungkook carefully lifted the clasp on the front and raised the lid slowly.

There was a piece of paper folded to fit the box laying over the bag of ashes. It looked like over the years a tiny corner of the paper had worked its way out.

“It’s a note?” He pulled it out and gingerly set the box back on the shelf next to Noeul’s.

“Looks like it,” Taehyung confirmed. “But those are your mom’s ashes. So who would it be from – “

Jungkook already had the piece of paper unfolded. And had begun to read aloud.

 My Love,

I never thought my heart would break as badly as the day you didn’t come back from the city. I carved this box and put your ashes here as a temporary location until we could place you back into nature when spring came. But Jungkook begged me not to. He couldn’t bear to be away from the only thing we had left of you. And honestly, neither could I.

But today, I am doing the unimaginable. As I am leaving the mountain.

I have failed you and our boys. I am so ashamed that I am not the Alpha you deserved or that you believed me to be. The truth is I cannot fight Jaeseok without you. And as long as he has Wonshik’s ear I cannot overthrow them both. Wonshik is a good man as you know, but he is so broken since your death, that he has allowed that monster to take over. And now it is impossible for me to stay. If I don’t leave he has vowed that Taehyung will die here. I am taking both boys to the city until the danger is cleared.  As I promised you long ago, I love and cherish Jungkook as my own. And I would sacrifice my life to keep our boys safe. But that would only leave them both that much more vulnerable to the evil that is trying to take over the beautiful home we had here on the mountain.

I swear to you we will return to this mountain and the four of us will be together again. I owe my life to you. Bringing us here and making us your family. I cherished every single moment with you and with our sons. I know now that it was no coincidence the day you found us in the orphanage. The way that Taehyung ran to you and wrapped his little arms around you and kissed your stomach. Neither of us knowing that at that time a tiny miracle was growing inside of you.

Without you, the sunrises are dim and the moon is the saddest I have ever seen. But I still look for you there. And even in the city, I will look for your face in the sunrises and sunsets. I will always look for you in the moon. I will always love you.

Noeul

Taehyung could hear his mother’s voice in his head speaking the words that Jungkook was reading. It was so sad. He understood why he didn’t remember her being anything but melancholy. And as sad as the letter was, it was clear she wrote it when she still believed she was going to take both boys to the city.

How much more anguish did she find herself in when she discovered Jungkook was gone and she had to leave without him.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung said softly. “I’m so sorry we left you. I’m so sorry. I don’t understand why my mother didn’t bring me back right after the fire when Jaeseok was gone. We should have come immediately back to you.”

“I understand why,” he said with certainty. “She had to protect you, Tae. She had to protect you so that you could one day come back to me. In protecting you, she was protecting me and all the guys really.”

“It doesn’t seem like that. It seems like we abandoned you. And everyone. And the mountain.”

“Your mother was an Alpha. And an extremely powerful one at that. She and my mother ran this mountain. And for an Alpha to lose their Omega is crippling, but your mother carried on and tried to take use to safety. And when she couldn’t, then she saved you.”

“But that’s what I mean, Jungkook. We should have come right back for you. She let a whole decade go by and we didn’t return. She might have even known about the fire. If Jaeseok was dead we would have been safe.”

“No,” Jungkook said firmly. “You wouldn’t have been.  After the fire things were still bad for me. Some parts I’ve blocked out because they’re so bad. But I remember enough. Jaeseok had tried so hard to warp my mind and he had succeeded to some extent.  I struggled with the memories of you and your mother. And had you returned, I would have seen your mother as a threat to my authority. He had poisoned my mind on both of you. What if I had killed her? Or what if I had went after you and she would have had to kill me to protect you? She was wise. She knew how careful she had to be. She knew she could never return to the mountain. And that you couldn’t return until she was gone.”

Taehyung nodded because he wanted to understand. He’d read about wolves being matrilineal. But hadn’t realized until now just how powerful their mothers were. It made even more sense why Jaesoek hated them both so much. But it hurt more than he could bear to think that Jungkook felt abandoned at any point.

“I just – “ he started. “I just feel like she said in the letter. That we failed you.”

“This letter,” Jungkook held it up between them. “This proves how much your mother loved me. I thought she did, but I know it now for sure. And honestly, I don’t know how she kept going after she lost my mother. I know how I feel about you. If I lost you. The grief alone would be enough to kill me.” He put the letter back in the urn and closed and clasped the lid. “She did the only thing she knew to do to keep both of us alive just like she promised my mother. She sacrificed her own happiness for us. And just like she promised we are all four together again.”

Taehyung grabbed his hand. “I’m so sorry for all the pain you endured.”

“Up until you left, I had the best life ever. And yeah, the time in the clinic was bad. And after the fire, things were bad. But when I could no longer bear the conflict between hating you and missing you inside my mind, Jin helped me to forget just like he did you. And then even though the past ten years haven’t been necessarily happy, it honestly just feels like I’ve been suspended in time. I remember all that pain now, but then now you’re here with me and it’s all easier to bear.”

“And Tae,” Jungkook continued, “I’m just as sorry for what you’ve endured. And that fact I wasn’t with you when you shifted. I should have been with you. I shouldn’t have let my fears control me.”

“Really I think it happened like it was supposed to.” Taehyung assured him. “When Yoongi and Hobi came up here, I knew something was happening, but I wasn’t sure what. I’d suddenly gotten so sleepy, I just slept for days it seemed. But when they walked in, I was in the middle of what I thought was a panic attack. I felt like I was coming out of my skin. And I guess I was. But it was alright. Those two helped me through it. And once I’d shifted, I saw Yoongi cry. Can you believe that? He cried! And I never forget what he said to me.”

Welcome home, Taehyung.

“And then he told me that no matter long it took, that you all would have waited for me. That the destiny of a pack is a long story. And that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. But that it’s rain too.”

Later, after hanging out all evening at the tavern, they returned to the cabin late in the evening. Without words it seemed they both were ready to head to bed as soon as possible. After preparing for bed, they shut off all the lights

Taehyung stood for a moment in the dark as Jungkook got some water from the kitchen and then shut off the light.

“You coming to bed?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung had noticed something. “Look, at the shelf.”

Across the room, the urns of each of their mothers sat side by side. The waxing moon was at the perfect angle that it came in the window and shone specifically and directly upon them. The lacquered flowers looked like they were glowing.

Jungkook came to him from behind and put his arms around him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her come in at that angle.” Jungkook said quietly. “It’s Dalmin and our mothers telling us everything will be okay. You know those flowers on there. Those are the ones I told you about. The plum blossom for winter, the peony for spring, the pomegranate blossom for summer, and the chrysanthemum for autumn.”

“Do you think we should put them together? Somewhere on the mountain? It seems like they shouldn’t be sitting on our shelf?”

“I agree,” Jungkook nodded. “Let’s find a good place to spread both their ashes together. And then they can be together forever.”

All around the shelf the shadows of the tree limbs danced on the walls.

Taehyung pointed at them. “That’s why I was so afraid my first night here. The shadows on the wall. They were terrifying.”

 “I used to be afraid of the shadows. But I’m not now. Even the moon has a dark side.” Jungkook kissed the back of his neck and lingered there. “Are you ready for bed?”

The husky whisper went straight through Taehyung’s body. He instinctively made a joke. “Your mattress or my bed?”

Jungkook didn’t answer with words

Taehyung wasn’t sure what he was doing when he felt him remove his lips and bend down behind him, but he figured it out quickly when Jungkook slid his right arm against his knees knocking him off balance only to catch his back with his left arm. And then stood as he lifted him.

Prior to that moment, Taehyung would have willingly conceded that Jungkook was stronger than in him in many ways.  However, he would have never imagined Jungkook was strong enough to lift and cradle him in his arms.

Jungkook ignored his gasp as Taehyung rapidly threw his arms around his neck.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”

There was no sign of exertion in Jungkook’s voice when he casually responded, “Taking you to bed.”

When they got to the bedroom Taehyung assumed Jungkook’s was trying to be romantic and seductive and that he’d lay him back gently kissing all over his body.

But no.

When Jungkook got to the side of the bed, the quick drop and lift of his arms prompted Taehyung to let go just in time for his body to be unceremoniously flipped into the air and then fall to the bed.

Jungkook was grinning ear to ear as he stood there undoing his own jeans.

“Okay,” Taehyung scrambled to his knees. “What are we going to do here? Wrestle?”

“If you want to call it that,” Jungkook’s glare darkened as he dropped his pants and underwear kicking them aside.

They had wrestled plenty over the past month as wolves. Sometimes just playfully. Sometimes Jungkook was showing Taehyung how to fight if it were ever needed. And very often it turned into mating. Giving in to a primal instinct anywhere the mood struck them.

But tonight was different and Taehyung knew it. He sensed that Jungkook knew it too. In human form they were at their most vulnerable. And yet that was where the deepest desires resided.

Taehyung reached for Jungkook’s shirt and caught it with both hands, pulling him down onto the bed and pushing him onto his back. “Then how about you get this shirt off.”

“You take yours off,” Jungkook commanded. “Pants too.”

Taehyung maintained eye contact as he lifted his own shirt over his head and then undid his pants and quicky slid them off.

After he completely shed his clothes, he climbed onto Jungkook’s naked waist straddling him. Both beginning to harden.

Taehyung placed his palms on Jungkook’s lower abs right at the bottom edge of his shirt. Looking up into his eyes he paused. The last time they had been in this position, Jungkook’s world had come crashing down. Both their worlds had come crashing down.

But Jungkook’s eyes showed no signs of anything except desire and love. Taehyung took a chance.

“I told you to take this off,” he demanded as he slid his hands up Jungkook’s abs moving the shirt to his neck.

“Oh?” Jungkook’s eyes widened. “You told me, did you?”

Taehyung steadied his deepest voice and narrowed his eyes. Curling his fingers against Jungkook’s pecs under the crumpled-up shirt. “Yes, I did. So do it…now.”

Jungkook’s eyes flickered with something. He raised his upper body as he lifted off and threw his shirt onto the floor. Grabbing Taehyung’s hips, he pressed their chests together and using the lower vantage point to bury his face into the crook of Taehyung’s neck.

A guttural growl came from his throat as he kissed Taehyung’s collar bone and shoulders. His fingers pulling at the back of his hip bones to make their bodies even closer.

Taehyung’s cock rubbed against Jungkook’s firm abs as he clung onto his shoulders. He could feel Jungkook hardening against his ass. Sliding up into the wetness there.

Taehyung had never been as wet as he was in that moment.  Finally giving his body full permission to do what it wanted to do as he explored this whole new dimension to who he was. Embodying some of the most notable parts of both Omegas and Alphas, but being something unique all together. He was a Sigma. And he if he chose to, he could be Jungkook’s Sigma. Giving himself entirely to him.

Taehyung pressed his cock harder into the abs seeking friction.  Jungkook pulled his mouth to his own hungrily devouring his lips with kisses.

“What do you want, baby? Anything. You can have anything.”

Taehyung lifted his face causing Jungkook’s mouth to trail off his mouth and down his neck. He sucked on any available piece of flesh, taking his chin into his mouth and sucking.

“I want you to mark me,” Taehyung gasped. “Like you did in the woods, but now. Like this. I want you to claim me as yours.”

Jungkook’s cock kicked against the abundant wetness in his crack. Taehyung was ready. He lifted his body just enough to place Jungkook’s head his entrance. He sunk down onto his cock in a fluid movement. Forcing the stretch in one go.

Jungkook groaned against him as Taehyung’s muscles squeezed around him. Still kissing the lower parts of his face, occasionally catching his lips. He panted. His breathing so hard Taehyung could feel it moistening his skin. “You sure? I don’t want to hurt – “

Taehyung cut his words off by pushing the back of his head causing his mouth to land on his neck right next to the spot where he had bitten him in the woods.

Jungkook didn’t bite as deep as he had when the were wolves, but it was a thousand times more erotic. Taehyung’s eyes rolled back with the pleasure that was intensified as he moved his body with the cock deep inside of him. He wanted to wait. To make it all last as long as possible, but he couldn’t.

Jungkook’s mouth on his neck. His cock pulsing inside. It was all too much. He tightened his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders and cried out as his cock released between their bodies. He would have warned him or even apologized for coming so soon if he could have formed words, but his tongue felt thick and heavy as his orgasm coursed through his body and he rode it out on Jungkook’s cock.

He could feel him swelling inside. Jungkook gripped his ass tightly to hold him so close that his cock didn’t fall out as he rolled Taehyung onto his back.

He welcomed the stability of the bed, as his body felt like it might collapse when he was on top.

Jungkook wasted no time. Bracing his knees against the bed he lifted Taehyung just enough to get the right angle and began to thrust forcefully as he held his hips and thighs. His movements slowed and deepened as he let his upper body fall onto Taehyung.

Chest to chest, he raised his head enough to catch Jungkook’s lips. His breath was hot and heavy. “Want to be yours,” he gasped, “too.”

Jungkook buried his cock all the way inside as his hands grasped Taehyung’s shoulders and he rocked their bodies together.

Taehyung knew what Jungkook wanted when he lifted his head, exposing the base of his neck, he wanted it as well. Taehyung tilted his head to get at the crook of his neck and licked over the scent gland planting his teeth firmly into the skin.

As he bit down, Jungkook pressed their bodies even tighter and rocked them together harder, chasing his pleasure completely and totally inside of Taehyung.

Taehyung squeezed his muscles around his cock causing Jungkook to give one final intense roll causing him to explode inside.

Taehyung kissed the spot where he’d bitten him as Jungkook’s movements began to slow soft moans of satisfaction pulsated from his mouth.

Jungkook dropped his head onto Taehyung’s chest. Their bodies still connected, but completely relaxed. Taehyung was in no hurry for the physical separation. He wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head.

“I’m going to take care of you forever,” he whispered.

“I love you Taehyung,” Jungkook mumbled into the sweaty skin.

“I love you more,” he hummed into the wet black curls.

“Nuh uh,” Jungkook protested as he brought his hand to Taehyung’s nipple and pinched it. “I do.”

~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~

In the entirely of their lives, neither of them had ever looked forward to Chuseok as much– or at least that they could remember.

Taehyung had missed it by just a few days last year, and Jungkook had never felt so completely and totally himself. And so completely and totally in tune with the mountain and his ancestors.

As expected, there was a large gathering that evening. And this year there was even more to celebrate. Sungwoon was joining them with the young people from the youth shelter and he and Jimin had never looked happier.

After helping prepare and cook all day, Taehyung and Jungkook were able to sneak away alone for a few moments around the time that everyone started to arrive. They had planned to so something that was important to both of them. Something that was long overdue.

“You’re sure it won’t hurt anything. Like it won’t hurt the soil?” Taehyung asked as they walked down the hill and around to the back of the tavern where the garden was.

“It’s like you’ve paid attention to the things I’ve told you about the mountain and the land.” Jungkook mused as he moved the small bouquet of chrysanthemums from his hand into the crook of his other arm so that he could hold Taehyung’s free hand that was dangling between them.

They had picked the chrysanthemums from the small garden of flowers that sat underneath the window of the cabin.

“Of course I’ve paid attention,” Taehyung took his hand and squeezed it. “I listen to everything you say, dear.”

“Pfftt…” Jungkook rolled his eyes and threw his head bad. “Sure you do. But yes, you are right, ashes alone aren’t good for the soil. It’s the too much phosphorous and salt and that can create an imbalance. But I treated both yours and mine with other nutrient to balance it out.” He motioned to the bag of ashes in Taehyung’s hand and the bag that was in his own.

They reached their destination.

The pomegranate bush at the back of the garden. Being September the small flowers had turned into large jewel colored fruit. And the garden looked better than it ever had. They had promised each other it would be even better next year.

They both knelt side by side. Jungkook laid the flowers between their thighs.

“Do you think this is where they would want to be?”

Jungkook nodded. “Yes, this is where. Jin told me they planted this tree together shortly after you guys came here to live. And it’s a symbol of abundance and fertility. I think they’d like that. How the mountain and everything has grown. Now that it will be full of young people all the time.”

“You’re amazing,” Taehyung rubbed Jungkook’s arm. “Your mother, your father, my mother. They would all be so proud of you. Of the leader you are.”

Jungkook was dismissive like it was nothing that he had told Sungwoon that he wanted him to bring many of the homeless and abandoned young people from the center and the orphanage up to the mountain to live permanently. Most of them were too old to be adopted and they were simply waiting to age out of the foster system to a bleak future. Giving them a home on the mountain meant not only would they have a home. A place to belong. But a family. And there was always plenty do to and learn on the mountain. They would have a place and a name.

Jungkook had even started to make arrangements for the young people who wanted to attend university. He was right, the mountain would now be full of young people for them all to help raise. It was something both of their mothers would have wanted them to do.

“I think they’d be pretty proud of you too,” he countered. “There wouldn’t be a village and a mountain to bring them to had it not been for you.”

“We did that together,” Taehyung corrected him. “I couldn’t have done it without you. I don’t know that I could have every done anything like this if I’d never come here.”

“Dalmunjung,” Jungkook whispered reverently as he looked up into the sky at the white fullness. ”When you meet the moon, you meet yourself.”

Taehyung’s senses were alive. In the lunar glow he felt his mother, and Jungkook’s mother, and the love that had brought them together. The same love that had brought them through.

“I feel like they are so close. Here with us tonight.”

“I think so too.” Jungkook cocked his head, ”what do think about us not scattering them separately?”.

“You mean put them together first?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded. “I don’t know. It seems – “

“- it seems right,” Taehyung finished his sentence. “They would want to be as close to each other as possible.”

Taehyung held his bag open as Jungkook held his bag over the top and used his knife to cut a small slit in the bottom.

Haena’s ashes poured into Noeul’s bag of cremains. When his bag was empty, Jungkook stuck it in his back pocket. Taehyung handed him both of their mothers ashes.

They stood up and Taehyung put his hand on Jungkook’s back encouraging him to go ahead. He kept it there while Jungkook scattered the ashes from the bag all around the base of the bush.

When it was empty he put it in his pocket with the other one. He reached back to the ground and picked up the chrysanthemums and handed them to Taehyung who held them up to his nose briefly before laying them down in front of the bush.

Jungkook put his arm around Taehyung. They stood side by side looking at the bush in silence.  There wasn’t anything that needed to be said. They had done what they had been charged to do.

They had saved the mountain.

Then they had healed it.

And in doing so they had healed themselves.

Taehyung turned first and put both arms around Jungkook’s waist. Jungkook turned to embrace him.

They held each other under the full Chuseok moon until finally Jungkook rubbed his upper arms and pulled back.

“We better get in there before Jin comes looking for us. I’m not getting dishes duty as punishment tonight.”

Taehyung kissed the tip of his nose. “You go on in, I’ll be right behind you.”

Jungkook kissed his cheek and nodded as he turned and walked around to the front door of the tavern.

Taehyung took a deep breath and looked up the hill when the cabin peaked out between the trees. He thought about how quickly it got dark up there underneath the canopy of trees. How the heavy treetops could make it seem like it was darker than it really was. And the long shadows could look like all kinds of monstrous things when the fears of the imagination run unchecked.

It was like going to bed early in the dark while others were in a well-lit room nearby laughing.

Taehyung had felt like one year ago. Like he there was light and life somewhere. But he feared that even if he traveled to the ends of the earth, he could never find it.

He never would have imagined that it was right there in the night sky following his every step.

He looked back towards the tavern, the yellow glow in the windows held a warmth that he only had to reach out and touch. It reminded him of the night he arrived. How welcoming the tavern had seemed.

Through the windows he could see Jin inside. mouth wide and laughing as Namjoon looked on lovingly. He could see Jimin and Sungwoon busy helping fill up plates and making sure everyone had what they needed. He saw Hobi and Yoongi, arm in arm whispering to each other.

And Jungkook. Surrounded by several of the young people who were totally enraptured with him. He was mostly likely telling them about the days to come. About all that the golden beauty of autumn and the crisp blue skies held for them here in the mountain.

And for Taehyung, all the things that had been missing in his life, those that he didn’t even know were missing, had been found. He realized why he had never felt like he belonged anywhere else. Because he had always belonged here.