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Chapter Text

Clown College (7)-

Seungcheol- guys I need your opinion about this years theatre production

Wonwoo- Why do we care about the production

Seungcheol- because I am the director

Jeonghan- hot

Joshua- hot

Seokmin- what are the options

Seungcheol- ill list them and you can vote on your favourite

1)Three Musketeers

Joshua – The chocolate bar?

Soonyoung- Is it the barbie one though

Jihoon- ^^^

Seungcheol- why would it be the barbie version

Soonyoung- barbie slaps

Seungcheol- no you dickheads the William Anthony McGuire version

Soonyoung- pass

Seungcheol- 2) The Nutcracker

Seokmin- the barbie version??

Seungcheol- ITS NOT THE FUCKING BARBIE VERSION STFU

Jihoon- woAH no need to get angry

Seokmin- :((

Jeonghan- you better apologise to him right this second

Joshua- seokmin give the word and well beat his ass

Soonyoung - Beat his ass

Jihoon- Beat his ass

Wonwoo- Beat his ass

Seokmin- Dont beat him up!!

Jeonghan- damn how boring

Seungcheol- im sorry seokmin im just really stressed rn

Seokmin- its ok :))

Joshua- peace has been restored, the birds are singing, children are laughing

Jihoon- What fucking children

Joshua- All of them

Wonwoo- Please continue the list so I can fuck off out of here

Seungcheol- aight 3) The lion king
4) Hairspray
5)Beauty and the beast
6) Hamilton

Joshua- beauty and the beast

Jeonghan- God do you still have a crush on the beast that was like 10 years ago

Joshua- don’t try and shame me bitch
Joshua- the live action beast was hawt

Jihoon- wait shua are you a furry??

Joshua- do you fuckers know how expensive being a furry is jesus christ I could barely afford food last month
Joshua- I was caught scavenging through other peoples dorms so many times I get referred to as ratboy whenever I leave the room

Jeonghan- ahh ratboy what a classic

Joshua- bitch you started that

Seungcheol- so we’re ruling out beauty and the beast then great

Joshua- boooo

Wonwoo- I think Hamilton is the best option

Seokmin- but what do we have in common?

Soonyoung- WERE RELIABLE WITH THE LADIES

Seokmin- THERE ARE SO MANY TO DEFLOWER

Soonyoung- LADIES

Seokmin- LOOKS,PROXIMITY TO POWER

Soonyoung- LADIES

Seokmin- OH, THEY DELIGHTED AND DISTRACTED HIM

Jihoon- I beg you to stop

Soonyoung- you knew we were done

Jihoon- im not gonna deny that it’s a piece of art
Jihoon- and I know you can quote the entirety of act 1

Soonyoung- it is a gift

Seungcheol- if only you put that effort into your studies

Soonyoung- yeah man that aint happening any time soon

Seungcheol- so im gonna take it as 4 votes for Hamilton?

Seokmin- Yeye

Seungcheol- perfect I will let the headmaster know
Seungcheol- Joshua, Jeonghan, Seokmin I will see all of you at the auditions

Joshua- what

Jeonghan- huh

Seungcheol- don’t act surprised, you know that you have to participate in all school performances

Jeonghan- fuck me do you count as a supervisor

Seungcheol- oh yes, the head made sure to remind me about getting all you little shits into it

Joshua- what about jihoon? Hes just as guilty as us

Jihoon- I have to be in charge of the music

Jeonghan- Seungkwan really fucked us over didn’t he

Joshua- when will the audition be

Seungcheol- Next week some point, im not tellin you the exact time, I know what you lot are like

Joshua- damn I cant make it that day I have plans

Jeonghan- oh shit yeah same what a shame

Seungcheol- alright whats your plans then

Joshua- fucking jeonghan

Jeonghan- Getting fucked

Joshua- welp look at that nothing you can do to make us change our plans

Seungcheol- I was being nice about the whole audition, all of you little delinquents are participating in the musical whether you like it or not

Joshua- oh seungkwan better watch out istg

No Bro its not gay to shower together (6)-

Chan- whats your opinion on the pokemon with boobs

Mingyu- I like to think about other things in my time

Seokmin- Seungkwannnn I need to talk to you

Seungkwan- why, I am very busy

Vernon- 😉

Seokmin- Gross
Seokmin- Choi Seungcheol is in charge of this years theatre production

Seungkwan- and what does this have to do with me

Seokmin- the headmaster is trusting him as a supervisor
Seokmin- so that means we have to participate

Seungkwan- oh shit how do you know this

Seokmin- im in their group chat along with Jeonghan, Joshua and Jihoon

Seungkwan- shit shit shit shit

Mingyu- did I miss something? Why do you have to be in it

Minghao- have you been living under a rock
Minghao- its cus of what they pulled at the open house

Mingyu- nah I didn’t go to that

Minghao- neither did I but Jackson spread the video around everywhere

Seungkwan- Ayy shut your trap he doesn’t need to know

Chan- I don’t know either

Minghao- the head made their little glee club perform some songs at the open house
Minghao- yk calm and easy to listen to songs
Minghao- these plonkers get on the stage and begin singing peacefully
Minghao- then suddenly, they start howling and singing wolf
Minghao- infront of all the staff and possible new students
Minghao- the head looked horrified
Minghao- I would be aswell like at least sing growl come on

Mingyu- I thought your glee club was super serious

Seungkwan- ha no jihoon just set it up for extra credits
Seungkwan- me and seokmin spent the last meeting performing princess rap battles whilst Jihan made out in the corner and jihoon had a nap

Seokmin- yeah so now we must be in all productions under supervision

Chan- why did you do that

Seungkwan- funny ennit

Seokmin- that was your warning seungkwan, he will be looking for you
Seokmin- deadset on getting us all in the production

Vernon- is no one gonna question why seokmin is in a chat with older people

Seungkwan- Joshua and Jeonghan were high or drunk I dunno and adopted seokmin

Seokmin- yeah its great I get all the gossip

Seungkwan- whats the musical gonna be anyway

Seokmin- Hamilton

Seungkwan- why the fuck is it Hamilton

Seokmin- Cus Joshua is a furry

Please don’t kill my vibe, please don’t kill my high (2)-

Jessie- yeah im gonna need you to hit me up big time
Jessie- the next few weeks are gonna be a shit show

James- I gotchu dw bout it

Chapter Text

Jihoons minions (5)- 14:36

Joshua- Seungkwan

Seungkwan- IM SORRY

Seungkwan- I DIDN’T THINK WED HAVE TO BE IN THE BIG PERFORMANCES

Seungkwan- JUST THE SHITTY LITTLE MONTHLY ASSEMBLIES

Joshua- if I see your ass in these corridors

Joshua- its on motherfuking sight

Seungkwan- please

Seungkwan- I don’t go anywhere near your classes

Seungkwan- I have a reputation to uphold

Seungkwan- cant be seen with the fuckers who stick their fingers up each others noses in the goddamn corridor

Jeonghan- you make us seem like freaks

Seungkwan- well

Joshua- your reputation is bein the loud mouthed kid with the phat ass

Seungkwan- yeah and?

Jeonghan- so how are we gonna get out of this situation

Jihoon- well im already screwed I don’t have a way to get out of it

Joshua- RIP my boy

Joshua- as for me

Joshua- just call me bigfoot

Joshua- cus I am gonna be so hard to find

Seokmin- but bigfoot isn’t real

Joshua- say that one more time and ill be coming after you

Joshua- no matter how sweet you are

Joshua- next thing youll be saying aliens don’t exist

Seokmin-… they don’t?

Jeonghan- stop riling him up

Jeonghan- I cant sit through his ‘Aliens are out there’ slideshow again

Joshua- but they are

Jeonghan- of course honey seokmin doesn’t know what hes talking about

Jihoon- shua do you really think that cheol wont be able to find you

Joshua- cant find me if im dead

Seungkwan- 2 birds 1 stone I guess

Seungkwan- no musical + shua no longer bothering me

Joshua- what the fuck did I say seungkwan

Joshua- Its on motherfucking sight

Joshua- I know what class your in right now

Joshua- do you wanna go

Seungkwan- what a bluff you don’t know my classes

Joshua- im sure your boyfriend will tell me

Seungkwan- bitch you lyin you don’t know him

Jeonghan- can you 2 stop for a moment so we can figure out what we’re gonna do

Joshua- we're just gonna have to avoid every message he sends us

Joshua- bit harder for us in classes

Joshua- but should be easy for the 2 of you

Jeonghan- are you forgetting that seokmin cant do anything mean

Jihoon- ignoring messages isn’t being mean

Seokmin- it makes me feel bad

Jihoon- ahh cheol can never get mad at you

Jihoon- you could ignore his suicide note and he still wouldn’t get angry

Jihoon- Seungkwan on the other hand

Jihoon- hes gonna get beaten

Seungkwan- awe man

Seokmin- are you sure he wont get mad

Jihoon- please he may be acting like hot shit right now but he cant give you a part in the play without auditioning

Jihoon- so if you don’t turn up youll just get some background work to do

Jihoon- trust me itll all work out perfectly

Joshua- the simple plans work out the best

Joshua- don’t wanna bite off more than one can Chwe

Seungkwan- …

Seokmin- why did he spell chew like that

Seungkwan- not a clue

Makka Pakka Supremacy (2)- 15:04

Seungkwan- Babe

Vernon- am I in trouble?

Seungkwan- Depends

Seungkwan- how do you know Joshua Hong

Vernon- uh

Vernon- I don’t

Seungkwan- very convincing

Seungkwan- I will find out

Vernon- aw narts

No Bro its not gay to shower together (6)- 15:17

Mingyu- ive been thinking

Minghao- good god

Minghao- remember what happened the last time

Minghao- you were convinced that your professor was secretly an alien collecting information on ‘the kids these days’

Mingyu- he was being weird!!
Mingyu- he would always trail off his sentences and then speak some weird words

Minghao- hes from England

Minghao- its called an English accent

Mingyu- the English are weird man

Mingyu- the royal family are all undercover aliens controlling the government

Seungkwan- why would they need to be undercover

Seungkwan- they have more power than the government

Minghao- stop encouraging him

Chan- is that what you were thinking about?

Mingyu- oh no, it wasn’t even a conspiracy this time

Mingyu- I was thinking about how it would be fun to participate in the musical

Seungkwan- you want to act in the musical?

Mingyu- no id wanna be the photographer/videographer

Mingyu- Seokmin you know seungcheol don’t you

Mingyu- can you talk to him about me documenting

Seokmin- I cant talk to him right now

Mingyu- why not?

Seokmin- im not allowed to

Minghao- the hell are you on about

Seungkwan- ahahaha seokmin youre so funny

Seungkwan- of course you can talk to him silly

Seokmin- I thought I was meant to be ignoring him? That’s what you all told me in the other chat

Seungkwan- What happens in glee club stays in glee club

Seokmin- so I don’t need to ignore him

Seungkwan- no you do

Seungkwan- cus if he can contact you

Seungkwan- he can get the rest of us

Minghao- why are you dragging seok into your mess

Seungkwan- he was already in the original mess

Seungkwan- just tryna keep him out of another one

Minghao- how honourable of you

Seungkwan- I can get you his number just leave us out of it

Seungkwan- we have a plan

Chan- doesn’t sound like a great plan if all youre doing is ignoring him

Chan- that man is scary

Seungkwan- hush child you don’t even know him

Seokmin- kwan you don’t know him that well either

Seokmin- your first convo with him was when he walked into the glee club and you were hanging

from the ceiling

Chan- why

Seungkwan- zombie game

Seungkwan- I play to win

Chan-  did you

Seokmin- no seungcheol came in and he just kinda froze and slid down the wall onto a stack of

chairs

Seokmin- poor guy only came in to get Joshua and Jeonghans key cus he left his hat in their dorm

room

Seokmin- there was a lot of shouting afterwards from everyone except jihoon

Seokmin- he was pissing himself laughing in the corner of the room recording all of it

Minghao- I need to hit him up

Minghao- that video will be all the blackmail I need

Seungkwan- dont you fucking dare

Minghao- :)

Jihoons minions (5)- 16:10

Jihoon- Joshua

Joshua- yes

Jihoon- where are you

Jihoon- we have been waiting for you for 10 minutes

Joshua- that isn’t my fault

Jihoon- how so

Joshua- hannie made me go all the way across campus to get some food out of the good vending machine

Joshua- don’t worry I got some for all of you

Joshua- ill be there in a sec

Jihoon- good we have a lot of gossip to discuss

Chapter Text

Clown College (7)- 08:20

Seungcheol- so it has come to my attention that you little fuckers think that im just gonna roll over and let you get away with not participating

Seungcheol- ignore my messages all you want

Seungcheol- that was predictable

Seungcheol- so I knew I needed some insurance

Wonwoo- pfttt

Jihoon- that’s not ominous at all

Jihoon- you’ve already got me involved

Seungcheol- im aware

Seungcheol- ill keep yours for a rainy day

Jihoon- damn

Seokmin- I am very sorry, I didn’t want to ignore you

Seokmin- the guys told me to do it : (

Jihoon- rat

Seungcheol- i can see that you two are reading these messages

Seungcheol- come out

Joshua- oh cheol I didn’t see you there

Jeonghan- how have you been dear friend

Seungcheol- how adorable of you

Seungcheol- i will still expose your asses if you don’t agree to audition

Joshua- expose us with what

Joshua- im not sure if you know this but hannie and I don’t get embarrassed that easily

Seungcheol- yeah no I got that from your pda in the hallways

Jeonghan- lmaoooo

Jeonghan- a lot of people seem to have a problem with that

Soonyoung- its gross

Soonyoung- you really need to stop

Joshua- oh soonyoung if only you got yourself a fine piece of ass

Joshua- maybe you wouldn’t be so uptight

Jeonghan- we know someone who would be perfect for you

Joshua- ;)

Seungcheol- anyway

Seungcheol- do you guys remember that gas leak that the campus had a few weeks ago

Wonwoo- very well

Wonwoo- soon thought he was gonna die

Jihoon- wait a sec

Seungcheol- I have discovered the people responsible for this incident and im sure that the faculty would love to know aswell

Seungcheol- Joshua, Jeonghan don’t you agree

Jeonghan- Judge I need to talk to my client privately for a moment

Seungcheol- Granted

Mulan= no1 disney film (2)-08:25

muSHU- babe I cant get expelled

sHANg- i don’t think it would be that extreme

sHANg- we didn’t do it on purpose

muSHU- yeah but then we didn’t tell anyone so now it looks like were getting away with tryna gas the entire school

muSHU- if I got expelled my parents would force me back to america

muSHU- and as much as I love you, and I do a lot, I cant survive long distance

muSHU- I have needs that need fulfilling

sHANg- so youre saying that if we don’t let cheol blackmail us, we get expelled, you go back to America, we break up and you jump on the first piece of ass that comes your way

muSHU- absolutely correct

muSHU- have you seen my body

muSHU- would not be hard to get some action

sHANg- welp guess were getting blackmailed then

muSHU- howd he even find out about that

muSHU- not like weve been broadcasting it

sHANg- oh my fucking god

Clown College (7)- 08:30

Jeonghan- cheol

Jeonghan- why the fuck were you in our meeting last night

Seungcheol- ah that big head of yours figured it out

Jeonghan- well if one of us starts spilling club secrets wed all be shipped off to a insane asylum

Joshua- OMG THAT MEANS YOU KNOW ABOUT SEUNGKWANS THING AHAHAHAHA

Soonyoung- whats seungkwans thing

Jeonghan- bro code cant tell ya

Soonyoung- damn maybe min will tell me

Seokmin- no

Soonyoung- you skanks ruined him he used to tell me all your dirty secrets

Seungcheol- so have you decided whats gonna happen

Jeonghan- cheol it would be an honour for you to blackmail us

Seungcheol- perfect, auditions are in 3 days

Seungcheol- time to go blackmail seungkwan

Joshua- he really does think hes hot shit

Seungcheol- I am

Joshua- oop forgot to change chats just forget that ;)

Seungcheol to Seungkwan- 8:33

Seungcheol- Hello seungkwan

Seungkwan- who dis

Seungcheol-  Choi Seungcheol

Seungkwan- awe shite who gave you this number

Seungcheol- you don’t need to worry about that

Seungcheol- im just here to inform you that Jeonghan and Joshua have agreed to be in my musical

Seungcheol- isn’t that great news

Seungkwan- what are you holding over them

Seungkwan- I know those 2 wouldn’t cave in that easily

Seungcheol- just a little property damage

Seungcheol- are you going to continue to refuse joining your friends in the show

Seungkwan- yup

Seungcheol- that’s a shame

Seungcheol- I guess everyones gonna find out about your adorable little sims family

Seungkwan- huh

Seungcheol-  yk the one im on about, the save you made before you got with your boyfriend, those hours spent perfecting his face, designing the ideal house and of course your 3 children

Seungcheol- oh silly me I forgot about your Wicked Whims and your 1000+ animations

Seungkwan- I don’t have a clue what youre talking about

Seungcheol- I must have heard wrong then, guess id better tell some certain people about this funny rumour I heard then and see if they believe it anyway

Seungkwan- what do you gain out of this

Seungcheol- extra credits

Seungkwan- sellout

Seungcheol- well I guess id better get going now, people to talk to, you know how it is

Seungkwan to Seungcheol 8:45

Seungkwan- ok

Seungcheol- ok what?

Seungkwan- ill be in your stupid musical

Seungcheol- that’s the spirit

Seungcheol- are you really that embarrassed by your boyfriend

Seungkwan- im not embarrassed by him

Seungkwan- I just need everyone to think that he was whipped first

Seungcheol- isn’t your ego big enough

Seungkwan- no

No Bro its not gay to shower together (6)- 15:20

Vernon- The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant Is chaos

Chan- Was the mcflurry machine broken again

Vernon – yes

Seungkwan-  babe please stop being so dramatic I have much bigger problems

Minghao- when don’t you have a problem

Seungkwan- aren’t you gonna ask what my issue is

Minghao- I would rather pour boiling water down my throat than ask

Chan-  awe theyre getting along so well

Mingyu- sure they are

Seungkwan- I am being blackmailed into the theatre

Seungkwan- seungcheol is a bitch

Seokmin- you were easy prey for him

Seokmin- he even managed to get Joshua and Jeonghan to agree

Mingyu- oh dang

Chan- what is he blackmailing you with?

Seungkwan- chan are you fucking stupid

Seungkwan- not really blackmail if I go around telling every loudmouth my secrets is it

Seokmin- I know what it is ;)

Seungkwan- youll shut your mouth if you know whats good for you

Mingyu- I think we should all help out with the production

Mingyu- it would be fun and we can all spend more time together

Minghao- that seems like hell

Chan- id love to choreograph for it, I can get extra credits aswell

Mingyu- hao you could do the outfits!!

Minghao- hmm it would look good on my applications

Seokmin- im sure there could be something for Vernon aswell

Seungkwan- see I know hes not trying to be mean

Seungkwan- but hes basically calling my boyfriend useless

Mingyu- .

Minghao- .

Chan- .

Seungkwan- I hate the lot of you

Mingyu- Can you message seungcheol for us seungkwan?

Seungkwan- if i have to

Seungkwan to Seungcheol: 15:34

Seungkwan- Hey I have some friends whod love to help out behind the scenes if you have space

Seungcheol- that would be great

Seungcheol- spent so long tryna get you guys on board I forgot about everything else

Seungkwan- are you sure youre the right person for the job

Seungcheol- watch it I can still let your sim family slip

Seungkwan- do you want me to give you their numbers?

Seungcheol- nah lets just create a gc

Seungkwan- jesus fucking christ

Seungcheol to Soonyoung- 15:37

Seungcheol- well if it isn’t one of my favourite friends in the whole entire world

Soonyoung- what do you want

Seungcheol- would you consider being my stage manager? I will give you anything I want

Soonyoung- Can I boss everyone around?

Seungcheol- everyone but me

Soonyoung- then I would be delighted to

Seungcheol- now to find something for Wonwoo

Soonyoung- hes here with me now and he says he’ll do anything technical

Seungcheol- well doesn’t that make things easier

Seungcheol- he can be the tech manager

Seungcheol- its all coming together

Seungcheol created a group chat- 15:39

Seungcheol added Jeonghan, Joshua, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Jihoon, Seokmin and Seungkwan to group chat

Seungcheol- please add your friends seungkwan

Seungkwan added Minghao, Mingyu, Vernon and Chan to group chat

Minghao- for fuck sake

Seungcheol- welcome

Seungcheol- everyone here is going to be involved in the production so we should all become good friends to make it an enjoyable time

Seungcheol- after all you all volunteered to do this

Joshua- bitch please everyone can see youre blackmailing at least 3 people to be here

Minghao- can I add my boyfriend? He takes Performing arts so im sure hed audition anyway

Seungcheol- the more the merrier

Minghao has added Jun to group chat

Minghao- jun this is a bunch of people that are involved in this years theatre performance

Jun- oh hello 😊

Jeonghan- oh how pure

Joshua- precious

Seungkwan- he literally just said hello tf hes not god

Minghao- insult my boyfriend again and well see how long Vernon stays with you with your mouth sewn shut

Chapter Text

Seungcheol changed the group chat name to Hamilton

Seungcheol- I think it would be good for our teamwork for everyone to introduce ourselves

Jeonghan- this isn’t a long term thing so why do we have to be friends

Seungcheol- well if you want to spend the next 6 months in an awkward environment

Seungcheol- go ahead

Seungkwan- 6 MONTHS??

Seungcheol- did I forget to mention that

Seungcheol- completely slipped my mind

Joshua- I hope you slip off a cliff

Jeonghan- shua

Joshua- babe please don’t act like a good person cus theres people you don’t know in this chat

Mingyu- seungkwan and seokmin tell us what you two get up to all the time in our gc

Jeonghan- oh well

Jeonghan- cheol I hope you slip off a cliff

Seungcheol- Lovely

Seungcheol- Anyway, I am Choi Seungcheol, I am taking Mechanical Engineering and obviously the director for the musical

Seungcheol- han go next

Jeonghan- Im Jeonghan, I am taking business and I am very much here against my will

Jeonghan- also do not flirt with my boyfriend unless you are willing to be our third

Joshua- I am his boyfriend Joshua, im taking Travel and Tourism and I am also here against my will

Joshua- do a little bit of property damage and suddenly I have to do the history of my own fecking country

Jun- Hi, Im Jun, as hao said I take Performing Arts and it’s a pleasure to meet all of you

Jun- I hope we can be great friends

Jeonghan- god I love him already

Minghao- back off slut

Soonyoung- Im Soonyoung, im taking Beauty Therapy and I will be the Stage Manager ;)

Wonwoo- Wonwoo, Game Design, Tech Manager

Seungcheol- snappy

Jihoon- Jihoon, Music Production, Music Producer/Sound Manager

Seungcheol- wheres the passion

Jihoon- up my ass

Minghao-  Minghao, Fashion Design, Fashion Coordinator

Minghao- Jun is the love of my life, if you insult him prepare for a fate worse than death

Jun- hao stop

Minghao- of course babe

Mingyu- Im Mingyu, you probably all know me already

Seungkwan- big ol tree fucker

Joshua- yes yes everyones heard that story

Mingyu- it was a rumour!! Its all false!

Jeonghan- don’t know you but I doubt it

Seungcheol- please continue Mingyu

Mingyu- Im taking Photography digital and traditional and ill be the photographer/ videographer

Seokmin- I already know everyone apart from Jun so this is just to benefit him

Seokmin- Im seokmin and im taking Catering patisserie confectionary

Jeonghan- fully thought that seokmin just showed up everyday without being in a course lmaoooo

Seungkwan- we all did

Seungkwan- Im seungkwan, im taking Early years learning and I am the 3^rd to be here against my will

Vernon- Im Hansol but I go by Vernon, im taking Interior Design and I was just dragged along I don’t have a role

Seungcheol- you can work on set design my dude use that course of yours

Chan- im chan, im in Performing Arts with Jun and ill be the choreographer

Jun- I didn’t know you were here aswell Chan, yay :)

Seungcheol- perfect, im sure we’ll all get along splendidly

Seungkwan- now that youre in a chat together

Seungkwan- Joshua

Seungkwan- Vernon

Seungkwan- how do you two know each other

Jeonghan- whats the problem with them knowing each other

Seungkwan- I don’t like it

Vernon- weed

Joshua- WE’D WRITE SONGS TOGETHER

Joshua- both from America so we get along great

Joshua- ahahahaha

Chan- oh I didn’t realise that was the same Joshua

Chan- you left your jumper the last time you were here

Joshua- I was never there I don’t know who you are

Chan- you were here a few days for a refill?

Joshua- nope wasn’t me

Chan- oh I must be mistaken then sorry

Jihoon- I always knew there was something off about shua

Jihoon- just didn’t know he was a druggie

Joshua- ffs why cant you two understand context clues

Mingyu- wheres seungkwan gone

Minghao- just found out his bf is a drug dealer and he runs for the hills

Minghao- for shame

Minghao- no one respects a hustler anymore

Seungcheol- Joshua Hong

Wonwoo- oh shit not the government name

Joshua- waddup

Seungcheol- why have you been smoking the weed?

Joshua- are you my dad? The fuck is the problem

Seungcheol- did you learn nothing from Harold?

Jeonghan- the incredibly creepy pedo giraffe?

Seungcheol- he wasn’t a pedo giraffe, he was an educational friend

Joshua- he touched me inappropriately and I turned to drugs

Joshua- hate to break it to you there cheol

Joshua- your hero is a pedo

Vernon- what is harold?

Jeonghan- YOU NEVER MET HAROLD? mans was a legend

Wonwoo- this was harold

Wonwoo-

Seokmin- they let that around kids?

Wonwoo- they left it alone with kids

Jihoon- I used to be happy

Jihoon- then Harold came into town and stole my wife and kids and I was never the same again

Seungcheol- Is this the way you are?

Seungcheol- You feel offended by this stuffed giraffe

Joshua- not any giraffe

Joshua- HAROLD

Soonyoung- Harold will live on in our hearts

Joshua- and in my pants

Vernon- f in the chat for my brothers, traumatised by Harold

Mingyu- f

Minghao- f

Chan- f

Seokmin- f

Jihoon- your support for our ongoing fight against Harold means so much

Seungcheol- Han are you not annoyed at Joshua for doing drugs?

Jeonghan- oh im furious

Jeonghan- fucker got a refill and didn’t tell me

Joshua- thanks a lot snitches now I gotta share

Seungcheol- are you being safe

Joshua- bitch is you for real, its weed

Joshua- we just write some badass songs whilst on it

Vernon- absolute slappers

Joshua- here

Joshua- like look at our talent

Vernon- and here

Joshua- jesus christ im tryna convince him that were still sane on weed

Joshua- not the fucking shared delusion of us in space

Jihoon- its weed cheol

Jihoon- if anything it makes shua more interesting

Joshua- bite me midget

Jihoon- god no your boyfriend would find that kinky

Jeonghan- id love a threesome with jihoon

Soonyoung- jwesus 

Chapter Text

Joshua to Seungkwan- 20:04

Joshua-

Seungkwan- fuck off

Joshua- oh can we not joke about it yet

Joshua- hasn’t enough time passed

Seungkwan- its been 5 hours

Joshua- plenty of time to get over it

Seungkwan- you literally knew my boyfriend was a drug dealer

Joshua- oh my god its weed man

Joshua- any other drug id understand but come on

Seungkwan- I get that but I need to wrap my head around the fact that my boyfriend is a criminal

Joshua- im gonna assume your answer will be no but ill ask anyway

Joshua- do you know what Vernon is like on weed

Seungkwan- no

Joshua- mans is a mess

Joshua- the last time I was there, he spent 3 HOURS telling me all the reasons he loves you

Joshua- i was locked in his room listening to this guy pour his heart out

Joshua- chan had to let me out in the end

Joshua- do you know what he does with the money he gets

Seungkwan-  no

Joshua- yes you do

Joshua- he buys you gifts with it

Joshua- apart from maybe 2 gifts he gives to chan for putting up with him

Joshua- that man would do anything for you

Joshua- so please talk to him cus hes camping out in my messages scared that hes now lost you forever

Seungkwan- ill go talk to him now

Joshua- good boy

Seungkwan- and shua

Seungkwan- thank you

Joshua- anything for my weed

Seungkwan- you ruined it

Joshua- jeonghan calls it a talent

Vernon to Seungkwan- 20:15

Vernon- please

Vernon- im sorry

Vernon- talk to me

Vernon- ill do anything for you

Seungkwan- hi

Vernon- kwannie baby im so sorry for not telling you

Vernon- can you forgive me

Seungkwan- Joshua talked some sense into me and explained some things

Seungkwan- I have to ask you something

Seungkwan- do you really spend all the money you get on me

Vernon- of course I do

Vernon- why wouldn’t I

Seungkwan- babe you live like a tramp

Seungkwan- no offense

Seungkwan- please stop buying me so many gifts and start taking care of yourself

Vernon- absolutely not

Vernon- if I don’t give them to you ill just give them to chan

Seungkwan-  what about if you give me just 1 a month then

Vernon- 3 a month

Seungkwan- 2

Vernon- deal

Seungkwan- that doesn’t mean giving more to chan

Seungkwan- its to take care of yourself

Vernon- fuck sake

Seungkwan- Vernon

Seungkwan- I love you

Vernon- i love you to

Seungkwan- can I come over

Vernon- chan is here so we cant be loud

Seungkwan-ew I just wanted to cuddle wtf

Vernon- of course I knew that

Seungkwan- Im on my way 😊

Vernon to Joshua- 01:54

Vernon- Joshua

Joshua- Vernon

Vernon- do you remember your first time smoking weed

Joshua- ha yeah

Joshua- me and a friend were sat on a train platform at night and this white owl landed on the other side and we were absolutely baffled like this majestic creature just landed a few metres away from us, living the dream

Joshua- so I pull out my disposable camera, take a few snaps to remember this wonderous event

Joshua- get the photos developed a few days later and it turns out we were orgasming over a fucking seagull

Joshua- ruined the moment a bit

Vernon- its still a good memory for you tho

Vernon- right?

Joshua- sure, funny story to tell

Joshua- why are you asking me about this anyway

Vernon- well I spoke to kwan earlier and he came over to cuddle after we made up

Joshua- adorable

Vernon- ikr, whilst we were cuddling he was asking me about my first time smoking weed and I told him that it didn’t really hit me the first time so I was pretty mellow

Joshua- see I don’t really like the direction this is heading

Vernon- you shouldn’t

Vernon- he asked if I had any that he could smoke just to try it so I gave him the tiniest amount and showed him how to smoke it

Vernon- I thought it would be fine like it was literally a crumb of weed man

Joshua- what happened

Vernon- well he took one hit and started laughing so much that he started choking, chan shoved his head between his knees so that he would breathe

Vernon- we thought he had calmed down but then he started crying and then started laughing at the fact that he was crying and started to choke again

Vernon- hes got himself in a bit of a cycle

Joshua- jesus christ

Joshua- is he still crying/laughing

Vernon- yeah its getting a bit creepy

Joshua- gimme a few minutes and ill be there

Vernon- lifesaver

Vernon- why were you awake anyway

Joshua- jeonghan was snoring and I was just a few seconds away from smothering him with a pillow

Joshua- you saved him technically

Vernon- isn’t that a good thing

Joshua- maybe now but the next time he pisses me off ill just think of how you stopped me from solving all my problems

Vernon- yeeks

Mulan= no1 disney film (2)-08:15

sHANg- was I snoring again

muSHU- only a little bit

sHANg- how many times have I told you to wake me up instead of resorting to violence

muSHU- I didn’t resort to violence

sHANg- your pillow is on the floor next to my bed

sHANg- you were going to smother me again weren’t you

muSHU- please I wouldn’t call it smothering

muSHU- just temporarily stop you from breathing

sHang- just wake me up next time

muSHU- but actions speak louder than words

sHANg- not murdering you deranged fuck

sHANg- where did you even go

muSHU- im at Vernon and chans

sHANg- why did you go so far

muSHU- I didn’t go cus you were snoring

muSHU- Vernon got seungkwan high and he was hyperventilating so I offered to help

sHANg- that seems uncharacteristically kind of you

muSHU- good blackmail material ennit

muSHU- I thought you would be thrilled with this knowledge

sHANg- hes just gonna deny it

muSHU- babe im not an idiot

muSHU- I videoed it

sHANg- we really are soulmates

sHANg- did you get him to calm down though

sHANg- blackmail is useless if hes not okay

muSHU- yeah once he calmed down he kept trying to cuddle with Chan so we knocked him out into chans bed and the 3 of us are spooning in vernons

muSHU- Chan is more of a blanket hog than you and Vernon is just stone cold

sHANg- knew he was dead inside

muSHU- ill be home in a bit once seungkwan has woken up and ive checked him

sHANg- I know that’s not the reason

muSHU- bitch has gotta know that I actually do have dirt on him and I didn’t make it up

muSHU- he has to know that I saw his Thomas the tank engine boxers as we cleaned him up

sHANg- I do think you should reconsider seeing a therapist

sHANg- something aint right up there

muSHU- childhood trauma builds character

sHANg- no it doesn’t

muSHU- okay sweetie

Chapter Text

Hamilton (13)- 10:24

Seungcheol- Meeting at 4 on the stage

Seungcheol- you will all be there

Seungcheol- if I have to come find any of you it wont be pleasant for either of us

Joshua- will you punish us

Seungcheol- that seems like a bit of an eager question

Jeonghan- answer the fucking question

Seungcheol- no I wont punish, ill just drag you

Joshua- what a letdown

Chan- those 3s interactions are so weird

Chan- they act like seungcheol is in their relationship

Joshua- working on it

Seungcheol- what

Joshua- what

Seungcheol- nevermind

Seungcheol- I have to go through health and safety with all of you

Seungcheol- not that it matters that much cus you will all be participating even if youre in a full body cast

Minghao- sounds boring, pass

Seungcheol- you cant pass

Minghao- watch me

Jun- hao don’t be like this, well get to see each other

Minghao- you make a compelling case

Seungcheol- this is great, I have blackmail keeping 5 of you in line and Jun keeping Minghao in check

Wonwoo- but what will you do if I act out

Seungcheol- yeah I don’t have to worry about that

Seungcheol- youd never do anything wrong

Seungcheol- I feel like a proud father when I think about you

Wonwoo- I was gonna just not show up but now ill feel bad

Wonwoo- cant disappoint my dad

Seungcheol- that’s the spirit son

Seungcheol- ill buy you an ice cream after

Wonwoo- hell yeah

Seungkwan- buy me one too

Seungcheol- no go fuck yourself

Seungkwan- harsh

Chan- Joshua where did you go in such a rush?

Joshua- Jeonghan offered to buy me breakfast and that never happens so I had to move quickly

Joshua- he does it when hes feeling bad about something but I get waffles out of it so idgaf

Seungcheol- why aren’t you in your lessons

Joshua- literally just fucking told you

Seungcheol- you have a full day of lessons, do I have to hunt you down to make you attend

Joshua- why do you know my schedule

Seungcheol- bribed the admissions office to give me all your schedules so I can figure out when youre all free

Wonwoo- yeah that seems totally legal

Seungcheol- its all good, no harm done

Jihoon- maybe we do need to monitor Joshuas weed intake

Jihoon- were you already getting a refill

Chan- no that’s not why he was here

Jihoon- why was he then

Joshua- secret

Jihoon- you get on my nerves

Joshua- good

Chan- he came round to help with a situation and we ended up all spooning together

Jihoon- youre just making it even more mysterious

Vernon- Seungkwan tried weed for the first time and freaked out

Joshua- why did you ask chan?

Chan- you left your keys here

Joshua- oh just give them to me later, theres no rush

Joshua- our room is really easy to break into

Jeonghan- shua sleep walks so we have to get the door fixed quite often but they are refusing to do it now

Joshua- you break the locks on 5 doors and now maintenance ignores your messages

Seungcheol- Joshua go to your lesson

Joshua- im literally going now

Joshua- im not that late

Seungcheol- Youre an hour and a half late

Joshua- yeah and?

Joshua- everyone knows lessons don’t start till 2 hours in

Jihoon- true

Seungcheol- stop kissing jeonghan and start walking

Jeonghan- god youre such a creep why are you watching us make out

Joshua- do you like what you see though

Seungcheol- I can see you out the window of my classroom you dumb fucks

Seungcheol- you are literally in the middle of the courtyard

Joshua- doesn’t mean you need to watch us

Seungcheol- everyone get off your phones and pay attention in your lessons

Seokmin- dad is the worst ☹

Seokmin- cant enjoy any drama anymore

Soonyoung- are we all just gonna ignore that seungkwan got high?

Hamilton (13)-  16:10

Wonwoo- ???

Wonwoo- cheol?

Jihoon- where the fuck are you

Jihoon- bugging us all to be on time and you cant even show up to your own meeting

Seungcheol- im having a little issue, I will be with you all asap

Soonyoung- what kind of issue?

Seungcheol- a body issue

Mingyu- does anyone know why Jeonghan and Joshua are cackling over in the corner

Joshua- were not doing anything

Joshua- just laughing at harmless jokes

Jeonghan- we just enjoy each others company so much

Jihoon- no that’s their evil laughs

Jihoon- they’ve done something to someone

Wonwoo- so we can probably assume theyre the reason cheol is late

Joshua- there is no proof of that

Jun- seungcheol what is the problem you have?

Seungcheol- I don’t really wanna tell you guys

Minghao- he asked you a question

Minghao- you better fucking answer him

Seungcheol- im not tryna be mean

Minghao- then answer

Seungcheol- I am shitting my guts out

Minghao- oh

Seungcheol- like it wont stop

Seungcheol- it just keeps going

Minghao- you can stop talking now

Seungcheol- Its been 20 minutes im so tired

Wonwoo- what have you eaten today

Seungcheol- only a salad at lunch

Seungcheol- gotta watch my figure yk

Seungcheol- not that it matters, ive just shat out about 5 pounds

Wonwoo- is that all you’ve consumed today

Seungcheol- Jeonghan gave me a coffee earlier

Wonwoo- hmmm

Jihoon- you actually took something from jeonghan??

Jihoon- this is your fault

Seungcheol- he told me that they gave him the wrong order and shua doesn’t want it either so I could take it

Seungcheol- forgive me for trusting my friends

Jeonghan- we have done nothing to warrant suspicion

Joshua- yeah we wouldn’t slip something into his drink

Joshua- that’s just wrong on so many levels

Jihoon-…

Seungcheol- DID YOU PUT A LAXATIVE IN MY DRINK

Jeonghan- now where are you getting such a ridiculous idea from

Seungcheol- oh my god

Wonwoo- you two need to work on your poker faces

Joshua- ah what can he do

Joshua- I don’t think hes getting that far from the toilet for a while

Seungcheol- please send help

Seungcheol- son don’t let anyone leave the room until I can get off the toilet

Wonwoo- yes dad

Seungcheol- we are having this meeting whether you like it or not

Joshua- gosh nothing ever goes our way

Jihoon- maybe don’t slip laxatives into his drink next time

Jeonghan- well yeah were not gonna do it again

Jeonghan- we never repeat something twice

Joshua- our nights consist of thinking up ways to ruin cheols life

Seungcheol- why

Jeonghan- just funny

Joshua- and you deserve it

Hamilton (13)- 19:53

Seungcheol- im very sorry that you all had to stay so long, I swear it was meant to be a quick meeting

Seungcheol- thank you son for tying up those little shits till I got there

Wonwoo- it was my pleasure

Joshua- no it was mine

Jeonghan- you didn’t need to leave us tied up the whole time

Jeonghan- we know how to behave

Soonyoung- you don’t

Joshua- watch yourself soonyoung, there might be something in your drink next

Soonyoung- then I just wont drink anything

Joshua- that means im in your head

Soonyoung- I wish you never came to Korea

Joshua- tough shit my dude

Joshua- I got myself a fine piece of ass

Joshua- America is never getting me back

Soonyoung- so what im hearing is we have to get rid of jeonghan for you to fuck off

Jeonghan- why am I always threatened

Joshua- just your personality babe don’t take it to heart

Chapter Text

Mulan= no1 disney film (2)- 01:34

sHANg- shua

sHANg- whats the matter

muSHU- what do you mean

sHANg- I can hear you crying

sHANg- well trying not to cry into your pillow

muSHU- its nothing

sHANg- I have only seen you cry a few times

sHANg- the last time being when you broke a present from your mother

sHANg- so I know that youre lying

muSHU- I promise you im fine

sHANg- well obviously I know that’s bullshit so im coming over there to cuddle

sHANg- I wont ask anymore now but I do want to know in the morning what the matter is

sHANg- is that alright with you

muSHU- sure

sHANg- now scootch your fat ass over its time to spoon

muSHU- hannie

muSHU- I love you

sHANg- I know

muSHU- stop star wars-ing me im sick of it

sHANg- no

Hamilton (13)- 01:54

Joshua- my boyfriend is an asshole

Joshua- you heard it here first

Jihoon- why

Joshua- he keeps star wars-ing me

Jihoon- what does that mean

Jihoon- ???

Jihoon- WHAT DOES IT MEAN?????

Hamilton (13)- 07:25

Joshua- lolllllll

Joshua- fell asleep my bad jihoon

Jihoon- what does it mean

Joshua- I said I love you and he said I know

Jihoon- are you fucking kidding me

Jihoon- I haven’t been able to sleep

Jihoon- ive been trying to figure that out for 5 hours

Joshua- that doesn’t seem like my fault

Jihoon- I have an exam today oh god I am so screwed

Joshua- ill buy you food after?

Jihoon- yes you fucking will

Seungcheol- why are you trying to make my music producer fail

Joshua- why aren’t you asking why he was awake at 1am when he has an exam today?

Seungcheol- why were you both awake?

Jihoon- who said nights are for sleeping

Seungcheol- fuck hes sleep deprived

Vernon- he is not sleep deprived

Seungcheol- how would you know

Vernon- jihoon how long have you been awake

Jihoon- like 30 hours

Vernon- hes good

Vernon- the hallucinations wont have set in now

Seungcheol- and you know this how

Vernon- obviously I wanted to see how long I could stay awake for before becoming sleep deprived

Vernon- i thought you were smart seungcheol

Vernon- the answer is 72 hours btw

Seungkwan- oh isn’t that when you keep seeing clowns everywhere

Vernon- yes

Seungkwan- he was terrified out of his mind but still wouldn’t sleep

Seungkwan- but he was so out of it I just slipped some sleeping pills in his mouth and he never even noticed

Seungcheol- ok so that’s why jihoon was awake

Seungcheol- Joshua why were you

Joshua- nunya

Soonyoung- don’t do it

Seungcheol- nunya what?

Joshua- nunya motherfuckin business

Jeonghan-  HA goteem

Wonwoo- are you 2 back in 2015

Joshua- it never gets old

Jeonghan- Joshua was awake because he was crying

Joshua- ayo the fuck

Seungcheol- why were you crying

Joshua- lord almighty shouldn’t have started dating a snake

Jeonghan- he wouldn’t tell me last night and now hes trying to run away before having to talk to me

Joshua- im not running away im getting ready for lessons

Seungcheol- your lesson doesn’t start till 10

Joshua- you need to get rid of my schedule istg

Seokmin- Joshua is everything okay?

Joshua- im fine I promise, it doesn’t matter seokmin

Seokmin- obviously it matters!! I don’t want you to be upset

Joshua- you have a heart of gold seokmin but its fine

Jeonghan- its not fucking fine, you said you would tell me in the morning

Joshua- clearly I lied

Mingyu- are we witnessing the first Jihan fight?

Jihoon- nowhere near the first

Jihoon- they are always at each other’s throats

Minghao- damn would have tried to hang out with mins friends earlier if I knew they were messy

Jeonghan- text it to me if you can’t tell me directly

Jeonghan- I won’t let you go to your lesson without knowing

Seungkwan- God hes so pushy

Jeonghan- hes my boyfriend?? If hes sobbing in his bed at 1am then I wanna know the reason

Seungkwan- good lord he does have a heart

Joshua- I was not sobbing

Joshua- I was sniffling

Jeonghan- you were snotting

Jeonghan- and weeping into my chest

Jeonghan- there are tear stains all on my shirt

Joshua- omg ill message you just shut up

Jeonghan- hes a real sloppy crier

Jeonghan- but hey I got to cuddle him out of it

Mingyu- don’t you always cuddle?

Jeonghan- no we sleep in separate beds

Mingyu- why

Mingyu- if my boyfriend was Joshua I wouldn’t be leaving him alone

Joshua- Mingyu is my new favourite

Jeonghan- shua says I snore and steal all the blanket

Seungcheol- you do snore

Minghao- how scandalous, another man sleeping with Jeonghan

Seungcheol- you guys do know that Jeonghan, Joshua and I are all friends, right?

Seungcheol- ive crashed round theirs multiple times so they end up sharing a bed whilst I take Jeonghans

Minghao- more fun to think of some drama

Chan- is that why your relationship is so weird?

Seungcheol- that’s just those 2’s personalities

Seungcheol- they’ve been fake flirting with me since ive known them both

Chan- oh so they’ve known each other longer than they’ve known you

Seungcheol- ya

Seungcheol- they both find it funny so I just let them continue

Chan- doesn’t it make you uncomfortable

Seungcheol- nah I know theyre joking around so it’s no harm

Soonyoung- awe I guess joshua decided to tell jeonghan why he was crying

Soonyoung- I was enjoying the exposing joshua segment

Joshua- bite me

Soonyoung- oop hes back sooner than I thought

Joshua- sensed a bitch talking shit

Jun- im still learning how all you guys know each other beforehand

Jun- can someone just do a run through so I don’t feel left out

Seungcheol- sure thing

Seungcheol- So I have a lot of connections to these people

Seungcheol- I just mentioned being friends with Joshua and Jeonghan which was because we all did English 2 years ago

Seungcheol- ive known Wonwoo and Jihoon from before uni

Seungcheol- Soonyoung is wonwoos roommate so we would all hang out together

Seungcheol- Joshua and Jeonghan got really drunk at a party last year and adopted seokmin as their child so we all got to know him and he knows all of the others

Seokmin- Well since Minghao is your boyfriend im sure you know how he met Mingyu

Jun- hes never mentioned it, just how much Mingyu annoys him

Mingyu- I have been quiet in fear of being insulted and I get insulted by jun

Mingyu- my life is so sad

Minghao- boohoo

Seokmin- Well most of us know each other because of Mingyu, hao got Mingyu to photograph him modelling his clothes, Vernon got him to take pictures of his decorated rooms

Seokmin- im roommates with Mingyu

Seokmin- chan and Vernon are roommates and seungkwan is dating Vernon

Chan- Jun, Mingyu was the one that helped record all of our performances last showcase

Jun- ah I wasn’t aware of that

Jun- thank you I think I got all of that

Jihoon- you missed the weed connection between chan, Vernon and Joshua

Wonwoo- cant forget our druggies

Chan- I don’t smoke weed with them

Chan- im just in the room

Jihoon- accomplice

Mulan= no1 disney film (2)- 08:01

sHANg- talk

muSHU- why cant I just keep it to myself

sHANg- cus it will bottle up and im not dealing with your Britney spears meltdown again when you finally explode

muSHU- fine

muSHU- lemme just start by saying I adore you, I love you, you are the best person in my life and I wouldn’t change you for the world

sHANg- are you about to break up with me after I held you all night whilst you used my chest as a tissue

muSHU- what no

muSHU- why would I cuddle with you if I wanted to  break up

sHANg- I don’t know how americans think

muSHU- im not heartless

sHANg- please continue

muSHU- well me you and seungcheol have been friends for a while now and I like our dynamic, its fun, its easy. Obviously, we were already dating when we met him so I didn’t think of him in any other way than a friend. But for the past few months, ive been kind of seeing him differently. How kind and thoughtful he is, how hot he is, how he never gets mad at us even with all of the silly pranks we pull on him, the way he just sits and observes us quietly. Believe me, ive tried to ignore these feelings and just push them down, making sure that im never alone with him for that long. But with the thought of having to be around him all the time doing the production, its getting a bit much.  I feel bad about myself thinking this way about him when I already have you. All of this jokey flirting we do with him, it was funny at the start but the more it happened, the faster I realised it wasn’t a joke anymore, I really like him.

sHANg- so what was the exact reason for the crying this morning

muSHU- you have given me so much happiness in my life and I felt like I was betraying you by thinking about another man

sHANg- why couldn’t you tell me this face to face

muSHU- because I don’t want to see the disappointed look on your face

sHANg- but im not disappointed, this might come to a shock for you

sHANg- I already suspected that you had a crush on him

muSHU- what

sHANg- come on shua, you are the love of my life. I watch your every move, I see your eyes lingering on him, following him.

muSHU- why didn’t you say anything

sHANg- its not like you were doing anything wrong, I know you love me. Whats wrong with having feelings for another. I haven’t met someone with a bigger heart than you, it only makes sense that you have a lot of love to give

muSHU- so youre not mad?

sHANg- it would be extremely hypocritical of me to be mad when we share the same feelings for him

sHANg- don’t get me wrong, you’ve definitely fallen for him more

sHANg- but those feelings are there for me aswell

muSHU- so ive been beating myself up over this for months when I should have just spoke to you about this and I wouldn’t be feeling bad

sHANg- you should always talk to me shua, what are we in a relationship for otherwise

muSHU- im here for that fat ass of yours

sHANg- why do you insist on ruining every beautiful moment that we have

muSHU- cant help it

muSHU- so what are we supposed to do about this situation?

sHANg- get cheol head over heals for us so that we can all date and live happily ever after

muSHU- that feels like a scam

sHANg- that’s because it is, it’s a scam that serves out purposes perfectly

muSHU- he probably doesn’t even like us

muSHu- he said in the chat that its just fake flirting

sHANg- I know a way to find out

Chapter Text

Jeonghan created a group chat- 08:40

Jeonghan added Joshua to group chat

Jeonghan changed the group chat name to Interrogation room

Jeonghan changed Joshua to Good Cop

Jeonghan changed their name to Bad Cop

Good Cop- this seems like a lot of work

Bad Cop- worth it tho

Good Cop- hes not gonna play along

Bad Cop- he 100% will

Bad Cop added Jihoon to Interrogation room

Jihoon- the fuck is going on here

Bad Cop- Hands in the air where I can see them

Jihoon- youll never take me alive copper

Bad Cop- you have the right to remain silent

Bad Cop- anything you say will be used in a court of law

Jihoon- better have a good team

Jihoon- im a tricky little fucker

Good Cop- cant believe he actually played along

Bad Cop- should have put money down on it

Jihoon- what is all this for

Bad Cop- have you even figured out who we are

Jihoon- im not braindead, only you 2 would do something like this

Jihoon- im assuming bad cop is Jeonghan

Bad Cop- correct

Jihoon- so whats this for

Good Cop- I have nothing to do with this

Good Cop- this is all jeonghan

Bad Cop- bitch im doing this all for you

Bad Cop- no respect

Bad Cop- ill just get straight into it

Bad Cop- you’ve been friends with seungcheol for ages, and he tells you everything

Bad Cop- so does he have a crush on anyone

Jihoon- why are you even asking about that

Bad Cop- I asked the question first

Jihoon- the last time he spoke to me about a crush was like 3 months ago but never said who

Jihoon- I asked him why he didn’t just go for it and he said that the person was in a very committed relationship so it wouldn’t work out

Good Cop- are you sure that’s all you know

Jihoon- positive

Good Cop- I will take you out for lunch instead of just cheap canteen food

Jihoon- oh dang

Jihoon- im not lying about the identity he never told me that but its definitely still an ongoing crush

Jihoon- he speaks to Wonwoo about this more than me but never who it is to either of us

Jihoon- obviously we had to speculate and we think we know who it is

Good Cop- who

Jihoon- hmm I don’t think I should tell you that part

Good Cop- ill buy you dessert

Jihoon- well I think its Joshua and Wonwoo thinks its Jeonghan

Jihoon- that is pure speculation though

Jihoon- you haven’t answered why the sudden interest

Bad Cop- Joshua is down bad for him

Good Cop- yo wtf don’t snitch on me

Good Cop- he’ll go running and tell cheol

Jihoon- wait so youre telling me that joshua has a crush on cheol and youre absolutely fine with it

Jihoon- and actively encouraging it??

Bad Cop- yes

Jihoon- you literally threatened to break someone’s arm when they touched Joshua’s shoulder

Bad Cop- that fucker had been hitting on shua for weeks and it was getting creepy

Good Cop- yeah it was getting bad, we kept seeing him watching us walk back to our dorm

Jihoon- oh nevermind then, I can see it was warranted

Good Cop- yeah don’t mention that part to anyone, cheol would freak out if we told him about our stalker situation

Good Cop- mostly because were like 70% sure its still ongoing

Jihoon- I still don’t get why youre encouraging this tho

Good Cop- han has a crush on him aswell

Bad Cop- just not as bad as shua

Bad Cop- that boy is whipped

Good Cop- shut it

Jihoon- ah okay

Jihoon- I can try and find out some more info if you want

Bad Cop- that seems weirdly nice of you

Jihoon- well obviously im gonna want something in return, its about what I told you the other day

Good Cop- oh are you finally gonna make a move

Jihoon- not yet but if I help you then you have to help me when the time comes

Good Cop- deal

Bad Cop- deal

Jihoon- perfect

Jihoon- and for the record, I would have helped anyway

Bad Cop- awe do you think we’d be good together

Jihoon- I mean I guess but more the fact that cheol really needs to get dicked down

Jihoon- and I figure you 2 would do it almost immediately

Bad Cop- that does sound like us

Good Cop- well I guess that’s settled then

`

Bad Cop- obviously this is a hush hush situation

Good Cop- no one else was in the room when it happened

Jihoon- god no

Bad Cop- the room where it happened

Good Cop- the room where it happened

Bad Cop- the room where it happened

Jihoon- I wont help you

Good Cop- your humour stinks

Jihoon- joshua I have a question

Jihoon- youre literally buying my lunch later, why couldn’t you just ask me all this then

Good Cop- jeonghan likes roleplaying

Jihoon- ah

Good Cop- he really gets into it

Good Cop- shouldn’t have let him continue for so long

Good Cop- im gonna have to sort it out later

Jihoon- god shut up

Bad Cop- you can sort it out now

Good Cop- no you have a class in 10 minutes

Bad Cop- or

Bad Cop- we both just skive and cuddle and watch tv all day

Good Cop- hmmm

Jihoon- then how the fuck am I gonna get my lunch

Good Cop- ill take you both out no biggie

Good Cop- we’ll just come get you once you finish your exam and go out

Jihoon- you better

Good Cop- I always keep my promises

Bad Cop- no the fuck you don’t

Good Cop- starting now

Jihoon- alright well I guess ill see you later I gotta go chug a shit ton of coffee to get through this exam

Good Cop- please you’ll ace it

Bad Cop- no sweat

Jihoon- you guys are actually nice when youre scheming against someone else

Good Cop- ikr

Hamilton (13)- 11:43

Seungcheol- who the fuck is good cop and bad cop

Good Cop- wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

Seungcheol- so Joshua and Jeonghan im assuming

Good Cop- should have just kept quiet

Good Cop changed their name to Joshua

Bad Cop changed their name to Jeonghan

Seungcheol- what was with the name change

Jeonghan- roleplaying

Joshua- sexy roleplaying

Seungcheol- shua I swung by your class earlier cus I wanted to check on you

Seungcheol- why weren’t you there

Joshua- has anyone got a convincing reason that isn’t I made my boyfriend horny and had to deal with it

Mingyu- I could have tried to help you if you hadn’t said that

Joshua- just want everyone to know that im getting some

Minghao- didn’t you come in one day with a low shirt just to show off all the hickeys jeonghan gave you

Jeonghan- he looked good didn’t he

Joshua- see you all have the impression of me that I love the attention but jeonghan stole all of my shirts and that was the only one he left

Jeonghan- it was hard work doing all that

Jeonghan- I wanna be appreciated

Seungcheol- so where are you now

Joshua- in my dorm? Where else would I be

Seungcheol- your lesson

Soonyoung- cheol

Soonyoung- are you top or bottom

Seungcheol- top

Jihoon- wow what a selfish man

Seungcheol- why

Soonyoung- do you just have a quick fuck and leave

Seungcheol- I mean if I don’t know the person I don’t hang around

Jun- you just straight up leave without caring for the other person

Seungcheol-  yeah

Mingyu- taking seungcheol off my ‘Wouldn’t mind fucking’ list

Seokmin- when did seungcheol get added on there

Mingyu- first time I saw him

Mingyu- thought he would be a beast in bed and then super sweet and caring after

Vernon- we all thought that

Seungcheol- all of you thought about fucking me when you first saw me?

Minghao- god yes I even told Jun that and he agreed

Jun- gonna stick with fantasizing about Minghao tho

Jun- he cares for me great after sex

Minghao- that I do

Minghao- anything Jun wants he gets

Wonwoo- what about when you were with your ex

Seungcheol- why are you bringing that up

Seungcheol- you know that wasn’t how our relationship was

Wonwoo- oh shit sorry I forgot

Joshua- ??

Jeonghan- you’ve never mentioned an ex to us

Seungcheol- wasn’t important enough to mention

Joshua- hmm

Seungkwan- I thought jeonghan was defo the top in their relationship

Joshua- we don’t really care about who tops

Joshua- I mostly top but if han wants to I don’t throw a fit

Joshua- cus who in their right mind wouldn’t wanna be fucked by the god that is jeonghan

Jeonghan- and that’s why I let joshua top because its just such a good view

Joshua- aren’t you and Vernon the same

Seungkwan- whoever initiates it tops for us

Chan- can we stop talking about sex now

Wonwoo- could there be

Wonwoo- a virgin in my group chat

Chan- what no

Soonyoung- that was so convincing

Jihoon- game plan for the year

Jihoon- get chan laid

Mingyu- add seokmin to that

Seokmin- what

Mingyu- bout time you lose your virginity

Seokmin- but im not a virgin

Jeonghan- WHAT

Seokmin- Im not understanding the shock

Seungkwan- I think everyone is a little shocked at that

Seokmin- mingyu I literally told you when it happened

Mingyu- when the fuck was this

Seokmin- it was at jungkooks party that you dragged me along too

Seokmin- you wouldn’t let me drink but everytime you walked away from me Jungkook and Minghao would hand me another drink

Minghao- oh yeah I remember that day

Minghao- me and kook had a bet about how drunk we could make min before mingyu realised

Minghao- the answer was incredibly pissed

Mingyu- so youre the reason I had to spend my entire night caring for seokmin whilst he was puking his guts in the toilet

Minghao- yup

Mingyu- wait so who did you lose your virginity to

Seokmin- Jungkook

Minghao- oh snap I didn’t know that part

Mingyu- you fucked kook???

Seokmin- well other way around

Mingyu- oh my god

Seungkwan- we are witnessing the beginning of Mingyu’s mental breakdown

Vernon- ive been waiting for this day my entire life

Mingyu- im just

Mingyu- so confused

Mingyu- how has this never been mentioned

Mingyu- I talk to him everyday

Seokmin- cus it meant nothing?

Joshua- ngl seokmin my opinion on you has changed a bit

Joshua- respect man

Seokmin- thanks?

Soonyoung- anyone notice that seungcheol disappeared

Soonyoung- I thought he would have loved this convo

Jihoon- Joshua

Joshua- Hello

Jihoon- I am ready for my lunch date

Joshua- okay dokey im on my way

Wonwoo- wow didn’t expect to see cheating in the group chat so soon

Wonwoo- thought it would be jeonghan ngl

Jeonghan- what do you mean

Jeonghan- jihoon is gonna be our third

Wonwoo- I wish I didn’t agree to this stupid musical

Wonwoo- I already wanna kill myself

Chapter Text

Hamilton (13)- 15:12

Jihoon- cheol

Jihoon- ive been thinking about something

Seungcheol- what is it dear jihoon

Jihoon- well currently you have a very limited cast here

Jihoon- you only have 5 actors and 1 person on each department 

Seungcheol- yeah I really dropped the ball with the auditions

Seungcheol- im gonna have to go round begging in classes

Jihoon-  you don’t have anyone to play Eliza

Jihoon- who yk is a major character

Seungcheol- was just gonna make joshua cross dress

Jeonghan- how do you know what he does in the bedroom

Joshua- I do not cross dress

Jeonghan- and who would ever believe you

Joshua- everyone

Joshua- no one believes a word you say

Jeonghan- harsh

Jihoon- cheol have you even decided what roles these jackasses are having

Jihoon- slightly important for my part

Seungcheol- well I was thinking seokmin will be Alexander Hamilton

Seokmin- ayup suck it seungkwan im the best

Seungkwan- good for you

Seungcheol- Seungkwan will be Aaron Burr

Seungkwan- damn was hoping for a background role

Vernon- babe youre too hot to be in the background

Seungkwan- oh you flatter me

Mingyu- stop fishing for compliments

Seungkwan- I would never do something like that

Chan- please you spent a week sending us your selfies until we told you they looked good

Seungcheol- Joshua will be George Washington

Joshua- is that cus im the only fucking American

Seungcheol- yes

Seungcheol- Jun will be King George

Minghao- knew my man was a king

Soonyoung- and clearly English

Seungcheol- and Jeonghan will be having dual roles as Marquis de Lafayette and Thomas Jefferson

Jeonghan- oh what the fuck I don’t wanna be French

Wonwoo- nothing worse than a Frenchman

Wonwoo- absolute scum

Seungcheol- so that just leaves someone to play Mulligan/Madison, Laurens/Philip Hamilton and the Schuyler sisters

Seungcheol- no biggie

Joshua- aren’t you even gonna ask if were okay with our parts?

Seungcheol- are you okay with your role guys

Seokmin- yes

Seungkwan- yes

Jun- yes

Jeonghan- no

Joshua- no

Seungcheol- tough shit im the director, my decision

Seungcheol- does that help you out jihoon

Jihoon- yeah I can start mapping out how these songs can be sung

Seungcheol- Vernon do you think you could help me out by making some posters after your lesson has finished

Vernon- yeah I can meet you up in the library?

Seungcheol- perfect

Seungcheol- god its so nice when everyone picks up their weight and doesn’t dick about

Joshua- is that a dig at me fucker

Seungcheol- I didn’t say any names

Joshua- hmm

Seungcheol- Joshua did you just decide to skive the whole day

Joshua- yeah obvi

Joshua- im not gonna go in just for my afternoon lessons

Joshua- I had to take jihoon out for his lunch and gosh did that just absolutely tire me out

Joshua- had to return to my dorm and lie down for a couple of hours

Jeonghan- I had to help him of course he was knackered

Jihoon- I did aswell

Seungcheol- all 3 of you missed your lesson?

Jihoon- yes but we deepened our relationship

Jihoon- isn’t that what you wanted out of this group chat

Seungcheol- please you were already friends before this

Soonyoung- woah woah woah how did you deepen your relationship

Joshua- cant tell you it’s a secret

Wonwoo- oh god they actually managed to fuck jihoon

Jihoon- you really think id let them fuck me

Jihoon- god no, their dorm is disgusting

Jihoon- they’d have to book me a hotel to get me in bed

Jihoon- I will be treated like a princess, no way around it

Jeonghan- you hear that shua we have a chance

Soonyoung- what were you guys doing then

Jeonghan- cuddling watching Attack on Titan

Jeonghan- jihoon is in the middle to stop us from doing anything 

Seokmin- you said we’d watch that together!!

Jeonghan- well then you should have skipped your lesson

Seokmin- you didn’t ask me too ☹

Seungcheol- none of you should be missing your lessons

Jihoon- god live a little

Joshua- Min we’re still watching if you wanna come round

Seokmin- how far did you get

Joshua- we restarted season 1 and was just gonna stay up all night watching it

Seokmin- yay, ill be right over

Jeonghan- bring snacks

Joshua- any of you are free to come round as long as you have food

Seungcheol- do not stay up all night

Jihoon- and how are you gonna stop us

Seungcheol- I was just gonna trust you

Wonwoo- bad choice

Jeonghan- well shua cant cry himself to sleep if he doesnt go to bed

Joshua- woah thought we were over that

Jeonghan- it was this morning

Joshua- yeah and I told you what it was about so I thought we were good

Jihoon- hey hey no fighting Eren is about to get eaten

Mingyu- woah spoilers

Mingyu- I could never make it past the 3^rd episode

Joshua- well come over then

Mingyu- oki

Seokmin- mingyu

Seokmin- Jungkook is asking why youre ignoring him

Mingyu- I am not

Seokmin- you definitely are

Mingyu- well im sorry that im not over the moon when I find out 2 of my best friends fucked each other and kept it a secret

Seokmin- we didn’t keep it a secret

Seokmin- it was drunk sex it meant nothing so no one needed to know

Mingyu- but we tell each other everything

Mingyu- i even told you when my body was shutting down cus I hadn’t taken a shit in a week

Seokmin- I didn’t make you tell me that, that was all on your own

Seokmin- just like how I don’t ask about your hook ups but I hear all the details anyway

Mingyu- aren’t best friends meant to tell each other that

Seokmin- I mean you can tell me, I just didn’t think I needed to tell you back

Seokmin- tell you what

Seokmin- when I get in a relationship and have sex, youll be the first person I tell

Mingyu- who else would you have told first?

Seokmin- probably Joshua and Jeonghan

Joshua- that’s my boy

Seokmin- now stop ignoring jungkook, hes spamming my phone cus now im ignoring him talking to you

Seokmin- hes sending selfies but theyre getting lower each time

Seokmin- im gonna get flashed if you don’t talk to him

Minghao- nah don’t respond

Minghao- we can use this to blackmail him

Seokmin- you haven’t spoke this entire time and you appear to talk about blackmail

Minghao- my 2 favourite things, blackmail and ruining jungkooks life

Mingyu- i thought you were good friends

Minghao- you just don’t understand the power of holding someones nudes over them

Soonyoung- yeah wonwoo did it to me to make me clean our room

Soonyoung- it was cruel

Wonwoo - meh drastic measures

Mingyu- why did wonwoo have your nudes

Soonyoung-  I wanted his opinion on them

Seungkwan- of course makes so much sense

Jeonghan- youre literally roommates with him, why did you have to send them

Soonyoung- needed to know if it was good angle obviously

Jeonghan- yes but why send them, you could have just shown him

Wonwoo- shut your mouth, if he wants to sent me his nudes that I can later on blackmail him with then let him do that

Joshua- poor soonyoung

Joshua- getting stuck with wonwoo as a roommate

Wonwoo- hey buddy

Wonwoo- didn’t you ask me to send you those nudes when soonyoung was annoying you the other day

Wonwoo- as you put it ‘Just in case I cant handle him by myself’

Soonyoung- did you actually send joshua my nudes

Wonwoo- no, youre my friend I wouldn’t do that

Joshua- HA he ‘accidently’ left his phone open in front of me and told me not to go on it

Joshua- so I sent them to myself

Wonwoo- gosh this is what I get for helping you

Chan- this group chat hasn’t been active for very long and already so many problems

Chan- and joshua is right in the middle of all of them

Joshua- you know it

Joshua- right how many of you are coming round to watch aot cus jihoon is getting fidgety

Jihoon- I want to see levi

Jihoon- he is the only reason to keep on living

Jeonghan- alright buddy

Seokmin- ive just bought some snacks so im 2 minutes away

Joshua- god bless seokmin

Mingyu- im leaving now so 5 minutes

Wonwoo- im outside your door

Joshua- then come in tf?

Wonwoo- gosh no hospitality skills

Jeonghan- how long have you been lurking out there

Wonwoo- like a minute

Seungkwan- my lesson hasn’t finished yet so ill come round after

Seungkwan- aint no way you watching my boy connie without me

Wonwoo- who the fuck cares about connie its all about jean

Seungkwan- don’t you insult connie

Jeonghan- please we all know the best character is Sasha

Wonwoo- at least our characters manage to survive fucker

Joshua- if youre gonna fight go out in the corridor

Seungcheol- how responsible

Joshua- what no

Joshua- jihoons lying on my shoulder and loud noises might scare him away

Jihoon- im not a cat you bitch

Joshua- then take your claws out of my leg demon

Soonyoung- why don’t we all just come round yours

Jeonghan- sure our neighbours hates us anyway

Seungcheol- Vernon and I will come round after then

Jun- am I invited aswell?

Jun- I don’t want to barge my way in when im still getting to know all of you

Joshua- of course you are

Joshua- what better way to

Joshua- plus we barely know mingyu and were letting him into our dorm

Mingyu- that’s so hurtful

Mingyu- I thought we were already good friends

Joshua- meh

Seungkwan- I see everyone has found out how easy it is to bully mingyu

Seungkwan- im glad

Vernon- mingyu downfall 2.0

Seokmin- so cruel to him

Jihoon- coming from the one that fucked his best friend

Seokmin- ah you got me there good one jihoon

Seokmin- so everyone will be at Joshua and Jeonghans

Seokmin- even a certain someone?

Jihoon- what the fuck is this?

Joshua- I think were starting to see the bad side of this group chat

Jihoon- seokmin

Jihoon- could you please refrain from sending another message

Seokmin- I wasn’t going to

Seokmin- just letting you know that I can :)

Jeonghan- that smiley face is just a bit too menacing

Jihoon- youll cause so many problems if you start exposing things

Jihoon- and I don’t have anything on you so ill have to start on Joshua

Joshua- woah

Soonyoung- I don’t think anyone would stop you

Joshua- oh no soonyoungs nudes how did they get airdropped to everyone in your lesson

Seungkwan- look at the toxic environment you’ve created seungcheol

Seungcheol- it isn’t affecting me so im good

Wonwoo- oh

Wonwoo- but it could

Seungcheol- nah it couldn’t

Jihoon- seungcheol

Jihoon- you know that’s a lie

Seungcheol- its so annoying when you 2 team up against me

Chan- I feel like this will blow up in all of our faces soon

Chan- and I will be patiently waiting

Chapter Text

Interrogation Room (3)- 19:43

Joshua- help

Joshua- one of you help please

Jeonghan- why

Joshua- cheol is cornering me in our room wanting to know why I was crying and how he can help

Joshua- bout 5 seconds from just pushing him on the bed

Jeonghan- better not be my bed

Joshua- ;)

Jihoon- why do you want our help

Jihoon- just make a move

Joshua- now I know youre not saying that to me

Jihoon- pussy

Joshua- I don’t wanna fuck around with him

Joshua- cus if youre wrong and he doesn’t like me then ive completely blown my chance and im just stuck with Jeonghan

Jeonghan- I love you so much too

Joshua- 2 dicks are better than 1

Jeonghan- cant stay mad when you sweet talk me

Jihoon- that was sweet talk?

Jeonghan- yes

Joshua- can one of you just please come in here and save me

Jihoon- ill do it

Jihoon- don’t trust jeonghan to go into a room with you and seungcheol

Jeonghan- very fair

Jihoon- plus I wanna go back to cuddling

Jihoon- your shoulder is so comfy

Joshua- screenshotting that for later

Jeonghan- god hes so good to hug isn’t he

Jeonghan- he feels like a giant teddy bear

Jihoon- best feeling ever

Joshua- this isn’t helping me

Jihoon- im coming im coming

Jeonghan- and that’s what would have happened if I went into the room

Joshua- stop

Jeonghan- too focused on not getting a boner to appreciate my jokes

Jeonghan- what has the world come to

Hamilton (13)-19:54

Seungcheol- Jihoon you little weasel

Seungcheol- why did you come in

Jihoon- cus you stole joshua from me

Jihoon- I was very comfy on his shoulder

Joshua- yeah get fucked cheol

Joshua- you tried you tried

Wonwoo- what did he try

Chan- is seungcheol trying to get into joshuas pants

Seungcheol- you guys are so sexual

Seungcheol- I was just trying to find out what his problem is

Soonyoung- god should have just come to me I could tell you that easily

Joshua- easy fucker youre in my house

Seokmin- what is the point in us being in the same room if youre just gonna message the chat

Joshua- some of you are still watching aot

Joshua- plus way easier to insult cheol through messages so you cant see his little puppy eyes

Seungcheol- why wont you tell me what was making you cry

Joshua- 2 people already know and that’s enough

Joshua- a 3^rd person isn’t gonna change anything

Joshua- can we drop this whole thing now

Seungcheol- wait you told someone else other than jeonghan

Joshua- oh silly little typo

Seungcheol- is that why jihoon has been clinging to you all night cus you told him

Jihoon- hes just really nice to cuddle

Jihoon- but yes he did tell me

Jeonghan- don’t get so annoyed

Jeonghan- it really isn’t a big thing

Seungcheol- then why cant you just tell me, I want to help

Joshua- cus you cant

Seungcheol- why

Interrogation Room (3)- 20:00

Joshua- tf am I meant to say

Jeonghan- god I dunno

Jeonghan- why did you have to get us into this mess

Jihoon- say something about missing your mother

Jihoon- wouldn’t be a massive lie just not the real reason

Joshua- life saver

Hamilton (13)- 20:02

Joshua- are you gonna fly my mother from america so I can see her?

Seungcheol- I mean I would if I had money

Seungcheol- why were you being so secretive if that’s all that’s the matter

Seungcheol- nothing wrong with missing your parent that’s in a different country

Joshua- I try to give off an image that im a bad bitch so crying over my mother isn’t the ideal thing

Soonyoung- what a loser

Joshua- and theres the reason

Joshua- this wouldn’t have been a big issue if jeonghan had just ignored me

Jeonghan- yeah but think about it this way, if you hadn’t cried then I wouldn’t have star wars’d you, meaning jihoon would have gone to sleep, you wouldn’t have had to take him out for lunch and we wouldn’t have spent the afternoon cuddling watching anime

Joshua- very fair point

Joshua- worth it for the cuddles

Jihoon- guess what

Jihoon- its never happening again

Joshua- are you sure

Jihoon- no it probably will

Jihoon- im gonna lie on your shoulder right now in fact

Joshua- fuck yeah jihoon cuddles

Joshua- hannie get the blanket this is how we’re staying all night

Jeonghan- do I not get to rejoin

Joshua- no go cuddle chan or someone

Joshua- jihoons mine now

Jeonghan- awe man

WeHeed (2)- 21:09

Vernon- bro you got any weed hidden anywhere

Joshua- nah used the last of it up in some brownies

Vernon- the brownies that were in a box at the back of the cupboard?

Joshua- that’s them

Vernon- ohohoho well this took a turn

Joshua- did you eat them

Vernon- I have not :)

Hamilton (13)- 21:10

Joshua- hey no biggie but who ate the brownies from the cupboard

Jun- I had one, im really sorry if you were saving them

Joshua- no its fine that’s not why im asking

Seungcheol- I ate some

Seokmin- so did i

Chan- same

Joshua- good god

Wonwoo- what did you do to the brownies

Vernon- weed

Wonwoo- oh that’s just fucking great

Soonyoung- those are the worst people to have them aswell

Joshua- very obviously I didn’t intend for it

Joshua- was a bit busy being cornered to notice these gremlins finding my brownies

Seungkwan- I think its great

Minghao- I have always wondered what jun would be like on weed

Minghao- you’ve done us a service

Joshua- I don’t really wanna repeat the seungkwan weed incident

Vernon- im sure chan will be fine

Vernon- hes always in the room with me when im smoking

Jeonghan- well lets just hope that’s the case

Soonyoung- I think the real issue is seokmin

Soonyoung- man got fucked when he was drunk

Joshua- min do you feel alright

Seokmin- why do we strive for greatness?

Seokmin- none of what we work for will matter when we are dead

Seokmin- our names wont be remembered

Mingyu- oh boy

Seungkwan- not that shocked that he would be having an existential crisis whilst high

Joshua- can you really be speaking

Joshua- lil wheezer

Seungkwan- shush you

Seungkwan- you caused this issue

Joshua- maybe if you greedy bastards brought your own food and didn’t raid my cupboards

Minghao- you said we could

Joshua- well clearly I forgot they were in there

Joshua- they were a present for han once he had done his exam on Tuesday

Jeonghan- I have an exam?

Joshua- welp

Jihoon- so seokmin what would you like to be remembered for

Seungkwan- do not encourage him whilst hes tripping

Seokmin- I want to be remembered for making people happy

Soonyoung- even during a breakdown hes still pure

Soonyoung- we don’t deserve him

Joshua- min do you wanna go lie down

Seokmin- Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow over us

Joshua- yeah lets get you to bed

Jihoon- what does that even mean

Wonwoo- time passes but what you do leaves a mark

Jihoon- thanks nerd

Jeonghan- hey shua can I get a hand with cheol

Joshua- I don’t really want to

Jeonghan- hes trying to cook pasta on the radiator

Jeonghan- wouldn’t he be sad to find out that the heating doesn’t work

Soonyoung- you 2 really live like tramps don’t you

Joshua- makes life more interesting my dude

Jeonghan- should we just shove them all in our room and barricade the door

Joshua- I was gonna suggest tying them up but I guess that works

Joshua- hows chan

Chan- im Gucci

Joshua- hmmm

Vernon- he’ll be okay

Vernon- ill keep an eye on him

Vernon- kwan come cuddle him with me

Vernon- he cant fight us off right now

Seungkwan- perfect

Chan- I would fight you

Chan- but I do want cuddles

Joshua- Minghao hows jun

Joshua- can you manage with him or do you wanna shove him in our room aswell

Minghao- he keeps trying to nuzzle me like a cat

Minghao- get him in the fucking room

Wonwoo- true love right there

Mingyu- you have been standing in the corner this entire time giggling

Wonwoo- Its like watching a train wreck its great

Mingyu- sadistic

Wonwoo- thank you

Joshua- mingyu come over here and help peel seungcheol off the radiator

Mingyu- why wont he let go

Jeonghan- cus he wants his pasta and thinks were trying to take it from him

Joshua- we can get his hands off just drag him away

Jihoon- if joshua didn’t leave his drugs around none of this would be happening

Soonyoung- this wouldn’t be nearly as fun then

Hamilton (13)- 21:20

Joshua- okay they are all settled down in our beds

Joshua- you guys can stay if you want to but the sofa is mine and hans seeing as weve lost our beds

Joshua- mingyu there should be some plasters under the sink if you need them

Minghao- how is mingyu injured you were in there 5 minutes

Jeonghan- we threw cheol on the bed but he took mingyu down with him and had a death grip on his arm

Mingyu- he needs to cut his nails goddamn disgusting

Jeonghan- hey shua can I see you in the other chat real quick

Wonwoo- you already have chats without us

Wonwoo- what snakes

Joshua- of course we do

Joshua- how else are we supposed to talk shit about all of you

Interrogation Room (3)- 21:25

Jeonghan- Jihoon

Jeonghan- hows it going over there

Joshua- :)

Jihoon- nothing is happening

Joshua- then why are you snuggled up to soonyoung

Jeonghan- and I can see you blushing

Jihoon- you cant see shit

Joshua- do you need some assistance or are you good

Jihoon- I didn’t do this

Jihoon- he made me cuddle him

Jeonghan- oh obviously

Joshua- do you want us to separate you two before you pop a boner or are you gonna take a risk

Jihoon- I don’t wanna suddenly move

Jihoon- that might give off the wrong impression

Jeonghan- I don’t think a boner will give off a good one

Jihoon- ill move in a minute

Jihoon- now stop messaging hes looking at my phone

Jihoon- you two are not subtle at all

Jihoon- turn your fucking notifications off

Joshua- god intimacy makes him angry

Chapter Text

Hamilton (13)- 07:01

Seokmin- hey does anyone know why I have a list of moshlings saved on my phone

Jihoon- you were sat in the corner last night just giggling to yourself

Jihoon- then you got all old and boring

Seokmin- okay another question

Seokmin- why am I in bed naked next to jun and seungcheol

Mingyu- you were not naked when we put you in there

Mingyu- freak

Jihoon- you may wanna delete that before Joshua sees

Joshua- too fucking late

Joshua- get your naked ass out of my bed

Seokmin- cant

Seokmin- im intimidated by seungcheol

Seokmin- he obviously has a bigger dick than me and I don’t want him to compare sizes

Joshua- buddy he isn’t your boyfriend why does it matter

Seokmin- respect

Jihoon- is he even awake

Seokmin- honestly cant tell

Seokmin- his eyes are open but hes not moving

Seokmin- oh god is he dead

Joshua- good lord we cant be accused of another crime in this dorm

Mingyu- another crime?

Jeonghan- don’t worry about it

Mingyu- no but I am

Joshua- don’t worry about it

Mingyu- why am I becoming friends with criminals

Jihoon- only criminals if you’ve been charged

Joshua- seokmin just come out of the room

Jeonghan- put on your clothes then come out of the room

Jeonghan- there are still people here

Seokmin- whos still here

Joshua- me, han, jihoon, Minghao, vernon, seungkwan and chan

Joshua- Mingyu left after he helped put cheol to bed and wonwoo and soonyoung followed him

Jun- awe hao stayed :)

Minghao- all you fuckers should be thanking us

Minghao- we checked on you every hour

Joshua- well seeing as 2 of you are awake now

Joshua- you can leave our room

Joshua- it’s a Saturday

Joshua- I wanna lie in my bed and do nothing and youre making it hard

Seokmin- we should all hang out!

Jeonghan- get fucked

Mingyu- mins got a good idea, we can go out somewhere

Jihoon- was yesterday not enough bonding

Mingyu- No! We are all destined to become best friends

Minghao- fucking hell mingyu why are you so happy

Mingyu- uhh

Mingyu- no reason

Minghao- mingyu

Mingyu- I just feel happy

Mingyu- is there a problem with that

Minghao- yes

Mingyu- if we all agree to hang out ill buy everyone coffee

Joshua- with what money

Minghao- YOU ARENT STILL DOING THAT ARE YOU

Mingyu- shut your mouth

Jihoon- oh Mingyu just got so much more interesting

Jeonghan- Minghao don’t hold out on us

Jeonghan- what is he doing to get money

Minghao- its about time he knows anyway

Mingyu- DON’T

Minghao- mingyu has a sugar daddy

Joshua- honestly not that shocking

Joshua- I mean look at him

Minghao- that’s not the main part

Minghao- his sugar daddy has a foot fetish

Jeonghan- ew

Minghao- ew indeed

Minghao- it gets better though

Minghao- mingyus feet are absolutely revolting like id rather stick pins through my eyes than have to see those things again

Minghao- so he uses seokmins

Seokmin- what

Mingyu- seokmin bro I love you

Seokmin- you’ve been using my feet and sending them to a freak??

Mingyu- I need the money

Joshua- it seems right that you split that money

Mingyu- well I couldn’t just give it to him he didn’t know what I was doing

Joshua- well now you can

Mingyu- min if I start sharing the money, will you let me keep sending your feet pics

Seokmin- how much do you get

Mingyu- 100 a pic

Mingyu- but I send 3-4 each time

Seokmin- jesus christ

Mingyu- is that a yes

Seokmin-…

Seokmin- 50/50?

Mingyu- yes

Seokmin- then yes you can continue

Wonwoo- seokmin is getting ruined fast

Wonwoo- I love it

Soonyoung- min my bro I though you were better than this

Seokmin- im broke

Mingyu- okay so are we hanging out today or what

Joshua- well now that we know youre rolling in dough

Joshua- absolutely

Jeonghan- lets go bowling

Jeonghan- mingyu can pay for everything :)

Mingyu- yay

Joshua- but first buy us coffee

Joshua- someone wake up the babies

Seokmin- I still think seungcheol might be dead

Jihoon- ill go jump on him

Jihoon- he cant get mad at me

Joshua- soonyoung, wonwoo are you gonna join us

Soonyoung- hell yeah I gotta look at these money making feet

Seokmin- back off

Mingyu- shall we meet up at 11?

Joshua- yeah gives these pigs some time to get up and shower

Wonwoo- such loving words

Joshua- im a loving person

Seungcheol- jihoon

Jihoon- I was wrong he did get mad at me

Joshua- cheol get out of bed

Seungcheol- why its comfy

Jeonghan- cus its not yours fucker

Joshua- okay if you guys wanna shower here that’s fine but give yourself an order

Joshua- me and han are going first

Jihoon- do you still have my clothes from last time

Joshua- yeah theyre in the wardrobe

Wonwoo- how much does jihoon stay at yours

Jeonghan- he has a really cute face we cant say no

Jihoon- ς(> ‿<.)

Jeonghan- see

Seokmin- can we steal your clothes

Joshua- you can steal cheols clothes that he left here and if there isn’t enough then yes

Seungcheol- do I not get a say in that

Joshua- nope you left them here

Joshua- our property now

Jihoon- that’s how the law works

Seungcheol- fuck off you

Seokmin- can I do something first

Seokmin changed Seungcheol to Vinnie

Seokmin changed Jeonghan to Priscilla

Seokmin changed Joshua to Willow

Seokmin changed Jun to Cutie Pie

Seokmin changed Soonyoung to Jeepers

Seokmin changed Wonwoo to Waldo

Seokmin changed Jihoon to Wuzzle

Seokmin changed Minghao to Tuco

Seokmin changed Mingyu to Dustbin Beaver

Seokmin changed their name to Pipa

Seokmin changed Seungkwan to Boomer

Seokmin changed Vernon to Slurpy

Seokmin changed Chan to Pooky

Slurpy- gotta say

Slurpy- pretty accurate

Vinnie- why the fuck am I vinnie

Willow- fitting

Vinnie- everyone else gets cute ones and I get this snaggle toothed deformed hamster

Willow- yeah as I said fitting

Priscilla- guess that’s just how seokmin sees you

Waldo- well high seokmin

Pipa- I was high?

Pooky- I actually kinda like these names

Boomer- of course you do Pooky is adorable

Dustbin Beaver- okay I booked us 2 lanes at 12

Willow- thanks daddy

Dustbin Beaver- well that got uncomfortable fast

Jeepers- are we all technically mingyus sugar babies now

Slurpy- always knew I would be

Boomer- what

Slurpy- babe please I was thinking about our future

Slurpy- mingyu had the best chance of making it in life so gotta suck up to him before he finds a boytoy

Slurpy- was gonna try on hao aswell but hes too in love with jun

Tuco- too right

Cutie Pie- <3

Priscilla- awe its so nice to see true love

Willow- bitch what are we

Priscilla- a convenience

Willow- alrighty love you too

Willow- do you wanna decide on teams now or later

Willow- cus I wanna beat han

Priscilla- :)

Vinnie- spilt all the couples up I don’t wanna see that shit

Willow- don’t be jealous cheol

Vinnie- disgusting behaviour

Jeepers- well seeing as mingyu is paying shall we make him a captain of one team and seungcheol as the other

Jeepers- they can pick their teams

Priscilla- mingyu we need to talk to you

Dustbin Beaver- ?

Priscilla created a group chat  (8:12)

Priscilla added Dustbin Beaver and Willow to group chat

Priscilla- you need to have both soonyoung and jihoon on your team

Dustbin Beaver- why

Willow- how much of a gossip are you

Dustbin Beaver- only gossip if its really interesting

Priscilla- eh good enough

Willow- jihoon is crushing hard on soonyoung but we don’t know how soonyoung is feeling so we gotta try manipulate feelings

Dustbin Beaver- I mean you don’t have to

Priscilla- no we do

Dustbin Beaver- why do they have to be on my team not seungcheol

Willow- cus jihoon will just stick to cheol

Priscilla- were tryna matchmake here

Priscilla- we know what were doing

Dustbin Beaver- if you say so

Willow- youre the best mingyu

Priscilla- let us know when you have someone you wanna jump

Dustbin Beaver- ….

Willow- ohoho what is this

Priscilla- are you already crushing on someone

Priscilla- is it someone in the group

Dustbin Beaver- uhhh

Willow- we will talk later mister

Dustbin Beaver- damn

Hamilton (13)- 8:15

Priscilla- all sorted

Waldo- you are so sketchy

Priscilla- thank you

Willow- well time to shower han

Boomer- youre showering together?

Willow- well are all of you taking showers here

Slurpy- yes

Willow- then yes

Willow- I want hot water fuckers we don’t get much

Priscilla- and you have interrupted our Saturday

Priscilla- this is our usual routine

Vinnie- will you keep it down at least

Willow- no

Vinnie- well guess we are all gonna be traumatised

Wuzzle- eh no biggie

Wuzzle- I always make the mistake of staying over Saturdays

Wuzzle- you get used to it

Willow- ;)

Waldo- well im glad I left now

Chapter Text

Hamilton (13)- 10:35

Mingyu- so the teams will be split up like this

Mingyu- Seungcheol- Jeonghan/Jun/Wonwoo/Seungkwan/Seokmin

Mingyu- Mingyu- Joshua/Soonyoung/Jihoon/Vernon/Minghao/Chan

Mingyu- is that okay with everyone

Seungcheol- I was joking about splitting the couples up

Mingyu- that took me so long to do and it was a joke

Seungcheol- well I didn’t know you were that dense

Jeonghan- can you swap me and joshua

Seungcheol- do you not want to be on my team

Jeonghan- oh god no

Jeonghan- youre absolutely mental

Joshua- so why do I have to be with him

Jeonghan- thought youd enjoy it more

Joshua- youre not sneaky

Jeonghan- not trying to be babe

Joshua- not gonna lie to you han

Joshua- really pissing me off today

Minghao- what happened in that shower

Joshua- he kept kicking my legs out when I turned away from him

Jeonghan- :)

Seungkwan- bit of a dick move

Seokmin- oh so that’s why you stomped out of the bathroom

Joshua- I didn’t stomp

Chan- you stomped

Joshua- hey chan

Joshua- don’t fucking push me

Joshua- you were the one that I liked out of all of these fuckers

Soonyoung- maybe we shouldn’t annoy joshua anymore

Seungkwan- no I think I will

Jeonghan- ah he’ll be fine

Jeonghan- this is a weekly occurrence

Jeonghan- he'll just pout in the corner of his bed until he craves affection

Joshua- go fuck yourself han im really not in the mood for it

Vernon- woah

Jeonghan- shua calm down im just joking around

Joshua- and I said im not in the mood for it

Jihoon- what is going on

Joshua- nothing

Jeonghan- what crawled up your ass

Joshua- you know what

Joshua- ill just meet you guys later im going for a walk

Jeonghan- shua

Seungcheol- for some reason I don’t think that’s just about hans personality

Seungkwan- no matter how bad it is

Jun- is he okay?

Chan- he seemed fine 2 hours ago so what happened

Seungcheol- I guess well have to ask him when we see him

Minghao- made things a bit awkward

Jun- hao

Minghao- what, it did

Jun- yeah you don’t need to say it

Wonwoo- did he actually leave his place

Chan- oh yeah slammed the door on the way out

Wonwoo- did something happen before this

Wonwoo- apart from jeonghan being a dick

Minghao- his phone was going off quite a bit

Seokmin- yeah he didn’t look that happy when he went on it

Seungcheol- so maybe it wasn’t actually han that made him mad

Soonyoung- definitely didn’t help

Vernon- where did jeonghan go?

Chan- he went into his room as soon as Joshua left

Chan- I think hes just calling him but not getting an answer

Minghao- so its gonna be super awkward later

Mingyu- you saying that is just going to make it even more awkward

Wonwoo to Joshua- 10:53

Wonwoo- I know youre ignoring the group chat and jeonghan phoning you but if you want to talk

Wonwoo- you can always talk to me

Wonwoo- I know youre closer to other people in the group but sometimes that’s better

Joshua- we are close enough

Wonwoo- we could easily be closer

Wonwoo- if you don’t want to talk that’s fine but I just wanted to give the option

Joshua- are you a listener or a problem solver

Wonwoo- listener

Joshua- hm okay

Wonwoo- where are you

Joshua- at the shop by the apartment

Joshua- I got embarrassed about storming out and was going to head back when you messaged

Wonwoo- nothing to be embarrassed about

Wonwoo- ill be 5 minutes

Joshua- thank you wonwoo

Wonwoo- anytime :)

Hamilton (13)- 11:47

Soonyoung- do you think joshua will actually show up

Seungcheol- im more concerned that jeonghan wont come out

Mingyu- well I mean he hasn’t been able to contact joshua in over an hour

Mingyu- id be worried aswell

Wonwoo- Joshua is already at the bowling alley

Jihoon- how do you know

Wonwoo- cus im standing next to him

Jeonghan- hes there?

Wonwoo- yeah hes just turned his phone off

Wonwoo- says it was stressing him out

Jeonghan- is he okay?

Jeonghan- has he calmed down?

Jeonghan- is he pissed at me still?

Wonwoo- han ill talk to you when you come down here- J

Jeonghan- shua im so sorry for pushing you

Jeonghan- I didn’t know you were already annoyed

Wonwoo- im not talking about it over the phone

Wonwoo- just come down here- J

Seungcheol- relationship drama

Seungcheol- so unnecessarily stressful

Seungkwan- you wish you had a relationship

Seungcheol- I infact do not

Seungcheol- I enjoy being single

Jihoon- you may enjoy being single but you don’t enjoy being horny all the time

Jihoon- do you

Seungcheol- Im not horny all the time

Wonwoo- ohohoh

Wonwoo- youre poor roommate messages me everytime you lock him out to masturbate my dude

Seungcheol- why does he do that

Wonwoo- said he could

Wonwoo- his own stress reliever he says

Seungcheol- bit of an invasion of privacy

Mingyu- bit worse for your roommate I think

Jeonghan- can you all get the fuck out of my apartment so I can talk to my boyfriend please

Mingyu- you guys haven’t even left yet??

Mingyu- god youre all gonna be late

Wonwoo- mingyu how far out are you

Mingyu- bout 5 minutes

Wonwoo- well soonyoung just got here so us 3 will head in and see if we can already get on the lanes and wait for you guys

Mingyu- oh thank god

Mingyu- you 3 are the best

Seungcheol- weve all just left jeonghans place

Seungcheol- so 15 mins

Wonwoo- no respect for the sugar babys bookings

Mingyu- please don’t refer to me as that

Jeonghan to Wonwoo- 12:36

Jeonghan- okay what the fuck is going on

Jeonghan- why has joshua been clinging to your side the entire time weve been here

Jeonghan- and why hasn’t he spoke to me

Wonwoo- why are you asking me this

Wonwoo- talk to him

Jeonghan- hes avoiding eye contact with me

Jeonghan- he said he would talk to me

Wonwoo- maybe he changed his mind

Jeonghan- do you know something I don’t

Wonwoo- not my place

Jeonghan- is that why you 2 were together earlier

Jeonghan- he told you something and now youre being really protective of him

Wonwoo- I offered him an ear and im not being protective, im literally just sat next to him

Wonwoo- we are on the same team after all

Jeonghan- can you tell him to turn his phone on

Jeonghan- I need to talk to him and I feel like if I come over there hell still ignore me

Wonwoo- I don’t think he’ll turn the phone on

Jeonghan- why not

Wonwoo- one second

Wonwoo- he doesn’t want to turn the phone on but I will so you can understand

Wonwoo- alright

Jeonghan- why is he getting so many notifs

Wonwoo- that’s why the phone was off

Wonwoo- are you understanding now

Jeonghan- why does he look so scared

Wonwoo- hes being harassed dipshit

Jeonghan- can you give him your phone a second

Wonwoo- sure

Jeonghan- shua

Wonwoo- yeah

Jeonghan- why didn’t you say that’s what was going on

Jeonghan- why didn’t you block the number

Wonwoo- didn’t want to read the messages coming through

Jeonghan- why not

Wonwoo- the ones I saw were really extreme love confessions, some were saying I deserve better than you, they can do so much better, and just really violent things towards you

Wonwoo- just easier to keep the phone off

Jeonghan- okay im gonna come over there and get your phone

Jeonghan- I will delete all the messages and block the number

Wonwoo- why do you want to read them

Jeonghan- it cant hurt me its fine

Jeonghan- and after that I want a kiss

Jeonghan- ive been shitting myself all morning cus I thought I had really pissed you off

Wonwoo- I mean you kicking me in the shower didn’t help

Jeonghan- nah I knew you found that funny

Wonwoo- I didn’t

Jeonghan- yeah you did

Wonwoo- okay maybe a little but it was still annoying

Jeonghan- I knew I wasn’t a terrible boyfriend

Wonwoo- who said that

Jeonghan- myself

Wonwoo- oh then true

Wonwoo- was gonna defend if someone else said it

Jeonghan- rude

Wonwoo- wonwoo wants his phone back now so he can gag over the messages

Jeonghan- ah he just needs to find a man

Wonwoo- I don’t want one

Jeonghan- yeah I don’t wanna talk to you anymore I have texts to read

Wonwoo- you are a dick

Mulan= no1 disney film (2)- 12:45

sHANg- ok I have deleted the conversations and blocked the number

sHANg- if you get another message then tell me and Ill delete that aswell

muSHU- did you read them

sHANg- some of them

muSHU- how did you read them

muSHU- I felt sick

sHANg- nothing will happen shua everything will be fine

sHANg- im really strong id like to see someone try and take you from me

muSHU- you got scared by a butterfly literally the other week

sHANg- completely different situations

muSHU- oh yeah so different

sHANg- you have to stop reacting like this

sHANg- you cant keep ignoring things

muSHU- han I promise you that’s not what I was doing this time

muSHU- I just got angry reading those messages and wanted to clear my head

muSHU- that’s why my phone was off

muSHU- I kept turning it back on to see if the messages had stopped which is when I saw wonwoos message asking if I wanted to talk

muSHU- I would have told you when we were alone later

sHANg- can I have that kiss now

muSHU- hmm wait for cheol to finish bowling then do it right in his face

muSHU- bet you a fiver he gags

sHANg- oh youre on

Interrogation Room (3)- 13:43

Jihoon- are you 2 done beefing cus I really need to freak out

Joshua- we will be beefing if he doesn’t gimme my money

Jeonghan- that was not a real gag and you fucking know it

Joshua- he gagged

Jeonghan- he didn’t

Joshua- he did

Jihoon- GUYS

Jeonghan- sorry continue with your breakdown

Jihoon- soonyoung kissed me

Joshua- oh shit

Chapter Text

Interrogation Room (3)- 13:45

Jeonghan- okay walk us through it

Jihoon- i went into the toilets and he followed me a minute later and we were just joking about how dumb mingyu looks bowling

Joshua- incredibly dumb

Jihoon- he just kind of went silent staring at me then kissed me

Jeonghan- jihoon

Jeonghan- tell me you kissed him back

Jihoon-…

Joshua- JIHOON

Jihoon- I FROZE I WASN’T EXPECTING HIM TO DO THAT

Jihoon- HE GAVE NO HINT HE LIKED ME

Jeonghan- did you push him away

Jihoon- no I literally just stood there whilst he kissed me

Jihoon- its even more embarrassing

Joshua- what happened after

Jihoon- he just looked at me really shocked then ran out

Jihoon- im the one that should look shocked the fucker just kissed me out of nowhere

Jeonghan- I take it youre still in the toilets

Jihoon- my legs were gonna give out I had to sit down

Joshua- okay we will come in there and sit with you until youre good

Joshua- itll be fine

Jeonghan- all our hard work setting this up and the dumbass freezes when his crush kisses him

Joshua- pst han shut up

Jihoon- what did you set up

Jeonghan- totally didn’t make mingyu put you both on his team away from everyone youre close with so youd have to be with soonyoung

Jihoon- is that why you’ve been basically ignoring me??

Jeonghan- hey come on it all worked out

Jeonghan- your crush kissed you and you had a mental breakdown

Jeonghan- job well done if you ask me

BSS (3)- 13:45

Soonyoung- I, Kwon Soonyoung, have done something horribly wrong

Soonyoung- I have made a fool of myself

Soonyoung- so I have decided the only course of action is to kill myself

Seungkwan- isn’t this a bit dramatic

Seokmin- what did you do

Soonyoung- I kissed jihoon in the bathroom

Seokmin- romantic

Seungkwan- oh you poor stupid fool

Seokmin- so why are you gonna kill yourself

Soonyoung- he didn’t react to it

Seokmin- what? No kiss back? No hot tongue action? No heavy breathing and staring into eyes after with pure adoration?

Seungkwan- you need to stop reading Destiel smut

Seokmin- until I get a man I will not

Seokmin- only joy in my life

Seungkwan- did he slap you? Shout at you? Curse your bloodline?

Soonyoung- no he didn’t do anything

Seungkwan- what did you do after

Soonyoung- uh

Soonyoung- I ran out

Seokmin- YOU LEFT HIM IN THERE??

Seungkwan- oh bro killing yourself isn’t enough

Seungkwan- gotta Damnatio Memoriae yourself my dude

Soonyoung- what does that mean

Seungkwan- complete erasure of yourself after death

Seungkwan- like you never existed

Soonyoung- oh that sounds perfect

Soonyoung- how do you even know what that is

Seungkwan- had to do a project on Romans for school years ago

Seokmin- they also did it in Teen Wolf

Seungkwan- let teen wolf go

Seokmin- no

Seungkwan- the film ruined everything

Seokmin- yeah but if I never watch the film then I can live in denial

Soonyoung- do you two have any actual suggestions

Seungkwan- that was an actual suggestion

Seungkwan- you aint escaping this one

Seokmin- well definitely not now

Seokmin- Jeonghan and Joshua have just gone into the bathroom

Seungkwan- so theyre either going in there to give each other head or jihoon has messaged them

Seokmin- ohoho if jihoons told them you are royally fucked my dude

Seokmin- theyre very protective over hoon

Soonyoung- I ALREADY FUCKING KNOW THAT

Soonyoung- fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Seungkwan- oh its my turn to bowl

Seungkwan- don’t kill yourself

Soonyoung- youre just gonna ignore me in my crisis

Seungkwan- yeah

Seokmin- maybe don’t follow people into the bathroom to kiss them

Soonyoung- I wasn’t thinking!!

Seokmin- well not with your head anyway

Soonyoung- god im so screwed

Soonyoung- you two have been no help

Seokmin- did you think we would be?

Seokmin- that’s on you

Seungkwan- you better get back before mingyu gets mad at you

Seokmin- where did you even go

Soonyoung- ball pit

Soonyoung- no one questions a man crying in a ball pit

Seokmin- I think they do

Seungkwan- alright time to call in the big guns

Seungkwan to Wonwoo- 13:54

Seungkwan- soonyoung is crying in the ball pit

Wonwoo- ok

Seungkwan- you don’t need context?

Wonwoo- nah hes done weirder things

Wonwoo- ill go sort him out

Seungkwan- youre the best

Seungkwan- min and I were just telling him hes gonna have to kill himself

Wonwoo- sounds about right

Hamilton (13)- 13:56

Mingyu- where has 3 members of my team gone

Seungcheol- im missing 2

Seungcheol- joshua where the fuck have you gone

Joshua- taking a fat shite

Seungcheol- oh ok

Seungcheol- wonwoo where are you

Wonwoo- dealing with a baby in the ball pit

Seungcheol- alrighty

Mingyu- and where are the hell is Jeonghan Soonyoung and Jihoon

Jeonghan- just take over for us it’s the last round anyway

Mingyu- make me pay for the bowling and then disappear

Jeonghan- yeah and?

Jeonghan- do you have a problem with that?

Mingyu- uh no sir

Jeonghan- good

Minghao- interesting

Mingyu- well once youre all back we need to take a group photo

Mingyu- yk for memories

Jihoon- do we have to

Mingyu- yes

Jihoon- urgh

Seungcheol- whats your issue

Jihoon- nunya

Seungcheol- im not doing that again

Joshua- BOOOOO

Hamilton (13)- 15:07

Seokmin- I had a lot of fun today! We need to do this again sometime

Jeonghan- as long as you and mingyu are paying

Mingyu- damn feel like im about to be used

Chan- deserved really

Mingyu- I expected that from Minghao but not you chan

Mingyu- breaks my heart

Seungkwan- he used to be so nice when we met him

Chan- hmmm wonder what changed

Joshua- I knew chan would be the best

Seokmin- Joshua are you okay now? You looked really stressed out when we got there

Joshua- oh yeah im fine hannie sorted it out

Seungkwan- did he apologise for being a dick

Joshua- ???

Joshua- of course he didn’t

Joshua- we’re talking about jeonghan here

Jeonghan- nothing to apologise for I did absolutely no wrong

Joshua- im not doing this again

Jeonghan- :)

Wonwoo to Joshua- 15:43

Wonwoo- hey I saw jihoon leave with you guys earlier, is he okay?

Joshua- do you know what happened?

Wonwoo- yeah I had to sort out soon in the ball pit

Joshua- ahh

Joshua- hes sat on our sofa and has put on Your Lie In April

Joshua- so I wouldn’t say hes great

Wonwoo- oh dang so hes bad

Wonwoo- I just don’t understand

Wonwoo- I thought jihoon was head over heels for soonyoung

Joshua- oh you knew about that

Wonwoo- well hes never told me directly I just like to observe

Joshua- creepy

Joshua- he has a huge crush on soon but didn’t know that soon liked him

Wonwoo- god how doesn’t he know?? That man is madly in love with him

Joshua- oblivious little fuckers

Joshua- when soonyoung kissed him, my boy froze in shock and we had to pry him away from the toilet he was sobbing into

Joshua- thought he blew his chance

Wonwoo- that’s what soon thought aswell

Joshua- do you think you can get soonyoung over here for them to talk

Joshua- I cant have jihoon moping around when they both like each other

Wonwoo- oh yeah easy he cant say no to me

Joshua- perfect

Joshua- if you could do it quickly that would be great

Joshua- hes destroying his animal crossing island and that’s never a good sign

Wonwoo- awe man his island looked so nice

Wonwoo- ill be quick

Mulan = no1 disney film (2)- 15:47

muSHU- hannie

muSHU- can you behave

sHANg- depends on what

muSHU- wonwoo is bringing soonyoung round to talk to jihoon

muSHU- and we will be letting them talk alone

sHANg- ….

sHANg- I guess

sHANg- for jihoon

sHANg- if he hurts him tho I will harm him

muSHU- alrighty calm down

muSHU- they just need to talk things out

sHANg- I hope they sort it out so he stops destroying his island

sHANg- hes 2 seconds away from fully restarting and he always gives me money

sHANg- I cant lose that

muSHU- you and wonwoo are both the same

muSHU- wanting to save his island over his happiness

sHANg- that island is heaven I wont apologise for it

sHANg- does he know that hes coming

muSHU- obviously not

muSHU- that’s why I messaged you dickhead

Wonwoo to Joshua- 15:57

Wonwoo- outside

Joshua- push soonyoung in and lock the door behind you then come down to our room

Interrogation Room (3)- 15:58

Jihoon- im going to murder you

Soonyoung to Wonwoo- 15:58

Soonyoung- im going to murder you

Chapter Text

Interrogation Room (3)- 18:21

Jihoon added Wonwoo and Soonyoung to Interrogation Room

Joshua- woah intruders

Jihoon- ill kick them out after just thought it was easier

Soonyoung- awe why cant we stay

Jihoon- how can we bitch about people if theyre in the chat???

Soonyoung- you talk about us?

Jeonghan- god cant get him to stop

Jihoon- I will strangle you

Jeonghan- don’t threaten me with a good time

Joshua- jihoon say why you added them quickly before I have to give hannie a blowjob in front of wonwoo

Jihoon- so soonyoung and I have confessed our feelings for each other and spoke about what we want to happen

Jihoon- soon cried

Soonyoung- I did not

Jeonghan- we heard you crying

Soonyoung- damn no privacy

Joshua- youre in our room?

Jihoon- we have decided not to rush into anything

Jihoon- no drastic actions

Joshua- what no more following someone into a bathroom to kiss them and run away

Soonyoung- listen

Soonyoung- I wasn’t thinking

Joshua- are you ever

Jihoon- stop interrupting

Joshua- sorry

Jihoon- even though we both like each other, we agreed to take things slow and not label ourselves

Jihoon- going on a date first to see where we are at

Jihoon- that also means not telling anyone else

Jihoon- we’re only telling you guys because you all knew beforehand

Jihoon- so if anyone else finds out, I will cause you serious harm

Jihoon- is that understood

Joshua- yes

Jeonghan- yes

Wonwoo- yes

Joshua- hes so intimidating

Joshua- no fun

Jihoon- if you could cover for us as well that would be great

Jeonghan- if you ever want privacy, you can just come round here and kick us out for a bit

Jeonghan- no hassle

Soonyoung- that’s actually a nice offer

Jeonghan- yeah and fucking what

Jeonghan- anything for jihoon

Joshua- anything for jihoon

Soonyoung- ahh I see

Jeonghan- Soonyoung

Soonyoung- yes

Jeonghan- If you ever pull what you did in that bathroom again on Jihoon, I will hunt you down and skin you alive

Jeonghan- is that clear

Wonwoo- Jesus

Soonyoung- crystal

Jeonghan- perfect

Joshua- you really gotta stop doing that

Joshua- your threats never stick

Jihoon- I mean soonyoung looks pretty scared

Jeonghan- please I know it turns you on

Jeonghan- I can already see it

Jeonghan- fhaubgbak

Soonyoung- what?

Wonwoo- Joshua stole his phone and is now smothering him with a pillow

Wonwoo- so im gonna take off now

Wonwoo- lets go home soonyoung

Soonyoung- :(

Wonwoo- don’t use that face on me

Wonwoo- ive wasted my evening sitting in this room with these two mental patients because you didn’t think to talk to Jihoon after kissing him

Wonwoo- we’re leaving

Soonyoung- booo

Jihoon- leave the chat as well

Jihoon- sensitive stuff gets discussed here

Soonyoung- thank you guys for making us sort our stuff out

Joshua- of course

Joshua- hannie says youre welcome as well

Soonyoung- uhh don’t kill him

Joshua- you cant kill satan

Soonyoung- welp time to go

Soonyoung has left the chat

Wonwoo- im happy for you Ji

Jihoon- thank you

Wonwoo has left the chat

Jihoon- can you two stop fighting and come out and cuddle me please

Joshua- everything went okay didn’t it? So why the need to cuddle

Jihoon- I just feel like crying but not out of sadness

Jihoon- out of relief

Jeonghan- that’s so adorable

Joshua- who said you could get your phone back

Jeonghan- shouldn’t have loosened your hold fucker

Jihoon- guys

Joshua- we’re coming

Jeonghan- anything for Jihoon :)

Joshua- anything for Jihoon :)

Hamilton (13)-  06:43

Seungcheol- good news guys

Seungcheol- a bunch of people want to audition

Seungcheol- isn’t that great

Hamilton (13)- 08:32

Seungcheol- hello?

Seungcheol- is no one awake?

Chan- it’s a Sunday

Chan- why were you awake at 6

Seungcheol- I was working out

Chan- at 6am

Seungcheol- yeah

Chan- on a Sunday morning

Seungcheol- yeah

Chan- knew there was something wrong with you

Chan- what college student willing wakes up at 6am to work out

Chan- fucking insane

Minghao- who wants to audition

Seungcheol- Karina, Minnie and Ryujin are all going for the sisters so that’s sorted

Seungkwan- oh theyre all really good at acting

Mingyu- do you know them well?

Seungkwan- meh not really we’ve spoke a few times and they seem nice

Joshua- it doesn’t matter if theyre nice

Joshua- can they put up with a lot of bullshit

Seungkwan- oh yeah theyre fine, their friends are insane aswell

Seungkwan- maybe not as insane as some of these fuckers but im sure they can deal

Seungcheol- theres also Youngjae and Johnny

Minghao- oh god not Youngjae

Minghao- hes friends with Jackson and that’s all that needs to be known

Jeonghan- Johnny? As in Johnny Suh? American Johnny?

Seungcheol- yah

Seungcheol- are you friends?

Jeonghan- for fucks sake

Seungcheol- do you have a problem with him?

Joshua- han don’t

Jeonghan- we just don’t get along

Seungcheol- don’t worry about it, he still has to audition and he better blow me away

Jihoon- is this the guy whos arm you threatened to break?

Joshua- that’s the one

Seokmin- why would you do that

Jeonghan- I had my reasons

Wonwoo- hmmm

Wonwoo- your reasons range from petty to actually justified

Jihoon- oh it was justified all right

Jun- how so?

Jihoon- not my place to say

Joshua- it doesn’t need to be brought up again

Joshua- its in the past

Joshua- leave it

Seungcheol- god I feel like Jihoon knows stuff about these 2 before me these days

Seungcheol- do you just have a separate chat where you confess things to each other

Jeonghan- now why would we have that

Soonyoung- they do have a separate chat

Jihoon- …

Joshua- what the fuck you SNITCH

Jeonghan- and after everything we did for you

Jeonghan- you better shut that mouth before you say anything else

Seungcheol- woah I was joking about them actually having another chat

Seungcheol- how do you know?

Soonyoung- I saw it on Jihoons phone 2 days ago

Soonyoung- they were being really weird about it but Joshua had his notifications on so I could tell they were messaging each other

Jihoon- I KNEW THAT WOULD GIVE IT AWAY YOU LITTLE SHIT

Joshua- did you see the messages

Soonyoung- no

Joshua- then no harm

Joshua- so what we have a chat of just the 3 of us

Joshua- theres also a chat of the 5 of us from glee club

Seokmin- eh we hardly speak in that anymore

Seokmin- seungkwan just uses it as cloud storage so he can take more pictures of vernon sleeping

Seungkwan- woah that was secretive

Seokmin- no matter how much he drools

Seokmin- it isn’t cute

Vernon- I feel kind of violated

Seokmin- you should be

Seungkwan- well you never told me to stop sending them so I didn’t

Jeonghan- stop sending them

Seungkwan- no

Seungkwan- hes too cute

Chan- when do you even get these pictures??

Chan- Youre barely in our room and vernon doesn’t sleep round yours that often

Seungkwan- I have my ways

Chan- are you breaking into our room???

Mingyu- damn I thought Joshua and Jeonghan were the only criminals in this chat

Joshua- we weren’t charged therefore not criminals

Seokmin- I don’t actually think that’s how it works

Jeonghan- you shut your mouth it absolutely is

Minghao- so all im getting out of this is that Jun and I are the only sane functional couple

Jun- <3

Mingyu- …

Chan- …

Seungcheol- oh

Seungcheol- what is this

Mingyu- I wouldn’t say ‘sane’ hao

Chan- Jun is far from sane Minghao you know that

Minghao- nah hes never done anything insane

Soonyoung- he literally was nuzzling you like a cat the other day

Minghao- that was on weed that doesn’t count

Chan- ive walked in on him in the dance studio pointing at himself in the mirror saying

Chan- ‘I think I could be more slutty’ then just stripping off into his boxers

Minghao- and hes absolutely correct he should be more slutty

Minghao- be great for me :)

Mingyu- hao you went apeshit on me when I accidently ate all of your marshmallows

Minghao- IT WAS A FULL BAG YOU GREEDY CUNT YOU RUINED MY HOT CHOCOLATE

Mingyu- I see youre not over it yet

Minghao- greedy greedy cow

Jihoon- I personally would’ve clocked him in the throat for that one so I applaud you and your maturity

Minghao- thank you it was very hard

Mingyu- :(

Seungcheol- don’t you ever fucking lie to us again Minghao, you are far from sane

Seungcheol- you aswell Jun

Jun- technically I never denied it

Jun- I didnt really understand why hao was trying to act normal

Jun- hes very far from it

Seokmin- is it time we finally get some hao blackmail :)))

Minghao- don’t you dare jun

Jun- …

Jun- I dunno it seems like a good idea to share some of your secrets

Minghao- I wont talk to you for a week

Jun- hun please that’s not a punishment for me that’s for you

Jun- you message me like every hour

Minghao- i only message you when I miss you :(

Jun- so every hour?

Wonwoo- this is disgusting

Wonwoo- get this domesticity out of here

Jun- next time he pisses me off ill share something

Jun- hes looking really sad right now so im gonna have to go cuddle him

Soonyoung- boooo boring

Seungcheol- I feel like we got off topic

Seungcheol- how many other secret group chats are there

Vernon- damn he completely forgot about Jeonghan threatening to break peoples arms

Jeonghan- I was in the clear you little shitbag

Vernon- that’s what you get for not telling me about seungkwans spam of sleeping photos

Jeonghan- don’t be pissed at me, be pissed at shua he knew aswell

Joshua- oh you little bitch

Vernon- yeah why didn’t you tell me

Jihoon- why would he tell you when he sent some of them

Vernon- WHAT

Joshua- youre all scum

Vernon- my own weed bro betraying me

Vernon- never been betrayed like this before

Joshua- meh im sure itll happen again

Joshua- you are dating seungkwan after all

Seungkwan- that’s just rude

Chan- those 5 are just so messy I love it

Jeonghan- just you wait till we get to know you better

Chapter Text

Hamilton (13)- 15:21

V

Seungcheol- the auditions are going to be on Wednesday at 5pm

Seungcheol- Jihoon and Soonyoung ill need you two there with me

Seungcheol- chan if you can make it aswell that would be great just so we can see their dance ability but there isn’t a rush for that

Chan- im free that time

Seungcheol- that’s perfect

Seungcheol- if anyone else wants to come watch, youre more than welcome to as long as you don’t cause any trouble

Seungcheol- cough Jeonghan cough

Jeonghan- what could I possibly do

Minghao- threaten to break Johnnys arm again?

Jeonghan- im not repetitive

Jeonghan- my threats have class

Jeonghan- it will be way worse this time if I have to threaten him

Soonyoung- ‘If’

Jeonghan- yeah if

Jeonghan- I don’t threaten people without a reason

Joshua- …

Jeonghan- you don’t count

Seungcheol- you threaten me all the time?

Jeonghan- you just have the face of someone that needs to be verbally abused

Seungcheol- i

Seungcheol- I have no response

Wonwoo- they’ve finally done it ladies and gentlemen

Wonwoo- they’ve broke Choi Seungcheol

Jeonghan- thank you thank you

Jeonghan- its been a long time coming

Jeonghan- I couldn’t have achieved any of this without the support of my family and friends

Jeonghan- but I have to thank the love of my life, Hong Jisoo for sticking by me this entire journey

Mingyu- who is Jisoo? I thought you were dating Joshua

Jihoon- ???

Wonwoo- theres no way you can be this stupid

Mingyu- why :(

Joshua- yeah who the fuck is Jisoo

Joshua- been cheating on me all this time

Joshua- cant believe this

Jeonghan- do not

Jeonghan- youre confusing Mingyu

Jeonghan- and as funny as it is, I don’t wanna be seen as a cheater

Joshua- Jisoo is my Korean name

Mingyu- Korean name?

Wonwoo- you do know that shua is from America right?

Wonwoo- right???

Mingyu- :((

Jihoon- theres no way you actually thought that someone with the most American name ever was born in Korea

Mingyu- :((

Mingyu- but he doesn’t look american

Joshua- my parents are both Korean but I was born in America

Mingyu- why do you go to college here then?

Joshua- my parents moved back to Korea when I was like 6? For a few years due to work but then had to move back to America but I didn’t want to go so they let me stay with my grandparents

Joshua- I go home every summer to see them though

Jeonghan- hardest few weeks of my life

Seungcheol- Mingyu its been mentioned quite a few times that hes not from here

Mingyu- I guess I wasn’t paying attention

Minghao- shocker

Minghao- bitch didn’t even know I was from China when we first met

Soonyoung- oh honey whats wrong with you

Mingyu- I guess im just not that observative :(

Seungkwan- oop I think you’ve hurt him

Joshua- that wasn’t our intention Mingyu, im really sorry

Mingyu- I wanted us to become friends quickly and I didn’t even know the most basic thing about you

Joshua- it doesn’t bother me, I never flat out said I was American

Joshua- it was always brought up in jokes

Mingyu- I still should have paid more attention :(

Seungcheol- hes on a scholarship which made it 10 times easier to blackmail him cus if this info was found out, his mother would force him back to America :)

Joshua- putting a smiley face on the end of that like you weren’t threatening to ruin my entire life

Seungcheol- yes :)

Soonyoung- is everyone gonna ignore how joshua was actually apologising

Soonyoung- like a sincere apology???

Joshua- yeah fuck off youll never get one

Joshua- ill apologise if I want to

Soonyoung- damn what did I ever do to you

Joshua- meh nothing just funny to bully

Minghao- that’s how we feel regarding seungkwan :)

Seungkwan- I don’t even speak and I get attacked

Jihoon- good keep it that way

Seungkwan- damn hard life

Seungkwan- my boyfriend doesn’t even stick up for me

Vernon- nah Joshua Jeonghan and Jihoon just seem mean together

Jeonghan- we need to corrupt jun to become the ultimate j squad

Joshua- shouldn’t be so hard hes already got the insanity down

Joshua- oh yeah Hannie I forgot to mention it but im going back to America for a few days next week

Jeonghan- oh right yeah its your mothers birthday

Joshua- she asked if you were gonna join me this time

Jeonghan- I have a bunch of work due in next week, I cant miss giving those in

Joshua- booo nerd

Jeonghan- ill join you in the summer

Joshua- shes gonna hold you to that

Jeonghan- please im scared of her

Jeonghan- ill do anything she tells me to do

Seokmin- why are you so scared of shuas mum?

Jeonghan- she has such a sweet tone when speaking to you but you can tell she isn’t fucking around

Jeonghan- she can and will hurt you if needed

Joshua- brought han with me when I went to have a meal with her the last time she visited korea and he was shit scared

Jeonghan- you said youd stop bringing this story up

Joshua- no its adorable

Mingyu- what happened?

Joshua- we were all just chatting and mum took an interest in his course so they were having a super boring conversation about that and then she just stops and asks him what his intentions were with me

Joshua- poor thing just straight up passed out at the table

Joshua- like straight up forehead in the sauce

Seungkwan- shua

Seungkwan- please say you have photos

Joshua- of course I do im not an idiot

Joshua- as I said it was adorable

Jeonghan- casually just skipping over the part where you ‘forgot’ to tell me that you had already told her we were dating

Joshua- please I told her the first time we kissed

Soonyoung- didn’t know that jeonghan could actually be cute damn

Joshua- [Image]

Joshua- like look at him

Joshua- so adorable

Seungcheol- that actually is really cute

Wonwoo- and all it took was a little traumatising event

Joshua- she found it really precious so she approved of hannie :))

Mingyu- bit shit that you just get to leave school for a few days

Mingyu- so unfair

Joshua- all foreign students get to?