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Chapter Text

A river can be deceiving. One can look to its waters and believe that it is save to immerse themselves into it, diving deep in order to cross it. But, then, one discovers that the river it is far more deeper, its inhabitants far more dangerous, and, sometimes, that the only way to get to the other side of it, it is to let go, letting its flow guide the person to its shores.

Perhaps in another life, in another Universe, the little Agnimukha at seeing his older brother, Odara, get stuck in a stone nearby the river's shore, would despair, getting into its waters, and, he would drown along with him.

Maybe, in another, he would try to pull him out, only for both of them to get tired, in the face of the rivers force, and, his hand would let go of his brother's and he would've died, and, Agnimukha would have to carry the guilty throughout his whole life… the pain of it, driving him mad.

But, in this Universe, he felt calm. At seeing his brother scream, in despair, he went still, he did try to pull him out, shortly after, but, at understanding the force of the current, he knew that the only way for his brother to be returned to safety, was for that same force, to take him out of where he was stuck.

In another life, Odara might have not listened to him, but, in this life, he saw that there was no other way as well. So he stopped fighting, focusing on the scorching sun, in the skies above them, instead of the situation, and, then, it happened…

The liquid waters, whose force had the power to pierce the hardness of a stone, over time, this same force exerted by its powerful current, took him from where he had been trapped, and, he was free to join his brother at the riverside.

On that day, Odara had survived, on that day Agnimukha had remained a brother, and, just a prince, instead of becoming the heir to the crown.

On that day, his fate, as well as of his entire bloodline, changed.

Years passed, the tension between India and England was flagrant, and, after growing up, Agnimukha's father sent him on a diplomatic mission to England, in order for him to secure the peace between the two powerful countries.

And, he did it, in fact, he did far more than that. For he fell in love with Miss Edwina, the youngest daughter of a noble family. Their marriage  would strengthen the ties between the countries, his constant presence there would ensure that the peace built would remain.

And, so it was, they were married, and, though they visited India as often as they could, they resided in England.

The years they spent together were of pure bliss, their love only grew in the course of them, and, the only bit of unhappiness they knew, was duo the absence of children.

Until it, finally, happened, Edwina became pregnant, and, in an autumn night, she gave birth to little princess Anya, whom they loved more than themselves.

The years continued to unfold, like a ribbon, Anya grew into a beautiful young woman.

In the year that she would be introduced to society, her Tatta died and her Chaacha became the Maharaja, and, this changed her family's destiny once again, as her Chaacha sent a diplomat to help her Appa to maintain the stability between the countries, now that there was a transition in power.

The moment Anya met Mayan would stay with her forever. At seeing his handsome face, she felt her lungs fill with air and life, every moment with him was a blessing, she was delighted to be in his presence. Lost in his gaze.

She didn't even know what was going on in her season, not even noticing the amount of gossip that the Bridgerton heir was causing, in being interested in a wall flower instead of her, or their quick marriage, being blessed, shortly after, by a pregnancy.

Lucky for her, her dear and beloved Appa wanted for her to be happy, for her to have a love match, so he gave Mayan a title of nobility and they've got married.

The news of their marriage, receiving the presence of Maharaja Odara, overshadowed the news of the birth of Anthony Bridgerton, before his parents' marriage having even completed a year, but, the Ton only said that it was duo his parents being a love match, that they were so in love, that this was the reason why they had a child so early on.

The years that followed would only prove this theory.

Anya and Violet laughed about it, in a sunny afternoon, when Anthony was 7 and Kathani was about to turn 4. The day Kate and Anthony have met….

Chapter Text

Kate was born at the beginning of the winter, on a rainy night.

As soon as her lungs were filled with air for the first time, she expressed all the potency that was in them, crying loudly and calming down only when she was placed in the arms of her Amma.

Her Appa arms enveloping both of them, making little Kathani feel welcomed in this new world, that opened up before her.

That love had made her a mischievous child, making her feel safe to voice her curiosity and to explore the world around her.

In that warm afternoon, by the Serpentine side, a few years later, she chased after the blue butterfly, running as fast as she could, with her little legs, oblivious of her surroundings.

Anthony Bridgerton, was occupied at windborne his purplish kite, careless of the world around him, seeking to make it to fly higher and higher.

Their parents walked behind them.

Edmund with Benedict in his arms and Violet pregnant once again.

Anya and Mayan, talking with Agnimukha and Edwina.

They all saw what was about to happen, but, none of them could stop the accident from happening.

Anthony and Kate bumped onto each other with full force, falling tangled onto the grass, still wet with dew, sending the butterfly away, and, causing him to drop his kite.

Their first glance of the other was tearful.

Kate felt upset that the butterfly was gone.

Anthony felt equally upset about his kite.

But, when Kate looked at the sweet eyes of the boy, perhaps was because  she is a kindhearted person, as her Amma always says, but, the tears in his eyes disturbed her. So, she promptly reaches her hands to his.

But, when Anthony gazed at her deep amber eyes, filled with tears, perhaps, it was because he is a protective person, as his father always tells him, but, he felt troubled by them. So, reached his hands to hers, at the same time as she did.

They help each other to their feet, asking at the same time. “Are you alright?"

Soon, their eyes filled with joy, as they nodded.

Anthony keeps his hand in hers, marveling at the warmth of her eyes, of her tiny hands; his pallor, blending along with her rich brown skin, beautifully.

He had never held the hand of a girl before, except of his mama, and, it fascinated him how her hand in his made him feel good.

Kate loved sweetness above all else in her life, that's why she loved animals, flowers and pastries so much... Wow, how she loves pastries!

And, at seeing the kind eyes and sweet smile of the boy in front of her, she feels that she might love him too, feeling a warmth spread inside her, at feeling his hand in hers.

She then shakes his hand, as she always saw adults doing, happily informing. “I am Kathani Sharma. What’s your name? Do you want to be my friend?"

Anthony, who didn't even realize he was smiling, notices his smile growing on his face, in face of her enthusiastic presentation.

Anthony has always loved courageousness in a person, that’s why he’d always admired his father the most, it fascinates him, how he is always willing to fight for their loved ones, and, at seeing her being so willing to be his friend, asking him in such a brave manner, Anthony feels that he might love her too!

He replies, with equal glee. “I want to!… I'm Anthony Bridgerton.”

They stay there, staring at the other, feeling a happiness that they’ve never felt before, for making a new friend.

Kate does not understand it, for now, but, being in his presence felt right, like if they were meant to be, meant to meet and be friends.

Anthony does not why, yet, but, nothing never felt so right before. Is was like they were made to be in each other’s lives. He just knows that they will be the best of friends.

And, he wasn’t wrong, he finds out shortly after they'd run to introduce each other to their families, asking if they could play together.

The families, amused by their demeanor, at how easily they forgot about the kite and the butterfly, and, at how easily they became friends, decide to gather for a picnic along the Serpentine.

It doesn't take long for Anthony and Kate to discover that they are equally competitive and that they share the same love for games.

They spend the entire afternoon chasing each other around, teasing each other, and, laughing in equal measure, loving every minute of each other’s company.

“You can’t catch me…” Kate said, laughing, running across the flowery grass.

“I can….!” Anthony said, running after her, happily.

So, he ran, and, his longer legs made him reach her.

They ended up on the grass once more, rolling over it, getting their clothes dirty, but, they didn't care.

Their mothers did, however, rising promptly.

“I told you that I was going to get you.” He said, with a smug smile.

"Just because you've got me this time, it doesn't mean that you'll get me in the next time..." She challenged him, with a sly smile.

Anthony's smile only grew, as he said. “You can run from me all that you want, Kate. But, I'll always get you."

Kate loved knowing that he would always run after her, and, he loved the challenge that he saw in her eyes.

They didn't know it, yet, but, she would never stop making him chase after her, and, he would never stop chasing after her. Even when they've got married, and, they'd been together for years, they wouldn't stop challenging each other, and, they they would always love each other even more for it.

When their mothers informed them that they had to go home, to clean up, they cried, as they parted, not wanting to let go of each others hand, and, they only stopped when their parents promised that they would be able to see each other again soon.

When Kate saw Anthony walking away from her, she felt sad.

When Anthony saw Kate walking away from him, he felt that it was wrong.

When they waved goodbye to the other, that feeling inside of them won, and it moved them, they ran towards the other, hugging the other tight, not wanting to let go.

“I do not want for you to go…. Can you not get clean at our place instead?” Kate asked, pouting.

“I do not think so, Katie….. But, I will not stop bothering my parents, until they let me see you again!” He says, determined.

“Do you promise, Tony?” She asked, with a soft, hopeful voice tone.

Anthony smiled, entwining his pinky in hers, saying. “I swear!”

Edmund and Violet looked at Anya and Mayan, at the same time they gazed at them….  They children never acted like this with any one else… ever.

In the moment that they had managed to part them, they knew that they will be making part of each others lives for a very very long time.

Chapter Text

The families turned close fast… As Anthony and Kate demanded to see the other every day.

The more time they'd spend in the other’s company, the more they wanted to be together.

Anthony loved how Kate’s eyes would glint with mischievousness, as she would sneak around, trying to hide from him.

Kate loved how captivating Anthony’s smile was, once he found her.

Anthony wanted to have her playing like this with him forever.

Kate wanted to have him coming to her like this always.

But, unfortunately, they couldn't keep seeing each other as much as they would have liked, as Anthony's family returned to their country home.

And Kate's mother got sick.

The sight of her beloved Amma dying right in front of her eyes remained imprinted on Kate’s mind.

She could not eat, she could not sleep, she could not even close her eyes without seeing it… or hearing it….

Her Amma fighting to bring the air into her lungs, her tormented expression, when she ended up losing the battle, while the thunder rumbled in the skies, in the moment that she left…

Kate had fallen ill, her body expressing what she couldn't. The sorrow ached in a way inside her… That it hurt her to exist in world where her Amma no longer existed.

Everything reminded Kate of her, and, she just wanted to stay quiet in her bed forever.

But, her Appa, and, grandparents would not let her.

The doctor recommended that the country air could do good for her health, and, the Bridgertons knew an estate close to theirs for sale. So her family moved to a house in the country, so she could regain her strength and recover.

Kate understood that her house was 'next' to Anthony’s, only when her Appa tried to cheer her up, by telling that he could visit her often now.

And, not even two days later, Anthony came to visit her, entering into her bedroom, climbing on her bed, in what she thought to be the middle of an afternoon…. She didn't like to open the windows anymore, looking at the gray skies disturbed her.

It felt good to see him again, at seeing him, she felt safe, Finally, someone who comprehended her was here. Suddenly, all that she was keeping bootle up inside her, started to come to surface, in his presence.

Anthony knew that even though Kate was a little older than his brother Benedict, she was still younger than him, he didn't know how much, but, as he gazed at her looking so small, in her huge bed, he wondered how much younger than he she is.

He felt a fierce urge to protect her and he wondered if that was what brothers felt for sisters, he… he just felt in this way with her. He didn't know it was possible to miss someone so much, but, he had missed her at every moment they were apart, he thought of her in every hour, of every day.

He'd had to beg to his parents to let him visit her, he'd tormented them day and night, ever since he'd heard that she was moving into the estate next to theirs.

When they explained to him that she had lost her mother, he felt for her, but, it's only now, looking at her, that he understands how much. If he missed her that much, how much must she miss her mama?

“I don't have an Amma anymore, Tony…” She tells him, without looking him in the eye. Her chest hurt, the emptiness was too much for her to bear any longer.

Kate only realizes that she is crying, the first time since her Amma left, when Anthony hugs her.

She buries her face in his neck, and, sobs, clinging to him.

He remembers of his mother making soothing circles on his back, when he used to cry, so, he does the same, trying to soothe her.

Kate pours her heart out, through every sob from her throat, she cries and cries, her eyes shedding tear after tear, her wails hurting her ribcage, as if the hurt were pressuring her to expulse all the pain within her.

Anthony never felt worse in his life, not even when he understood that he would have to share the love of his parents with his siblings. It was like her pain was hurting him, he felt his eyes watering.

It bothered him deeply not being able to easy her pain. He dries his eyes, with the palm of his hand, before returning it to her back, dandling her, like his mother did, with his newborn brother, Colin, when he cried.

He said vehemently, after a while. “That's not true, Katie. My parents told me that she went to heavens. You still have her, but, she is just… in a different place. Did you stop liking me, or being my friend, in the time we were apart?”

She pulls away, wiping her tears on her sleeve, looking up at him, with her eyelashes still wet, and, her eyes still watery and red, but, the constant stream of her tears had stopped, when she shakes her head.

“Then, in the same way, she will not stop loving you or being your Amma from where she is.” He explains, trying to cheer her up. He felt a need to comfort her.

“But, even so, I will be alone.” She replies, her voice was raspy, the pain was still echoing inside her, revealing itself in her gaze.

“Never, Katie. You will never be alone. You have me, and, I will never leave you. I swear." He says, at seeing it, with all the seriousness that a 7 year old boy could master, taking her hands in his.

“Pinky swear?" She asks, softly.

Since she lost her Amma, she'd felt cold inside, but now, with his words, with his hands around hers, she starts to feel warm once again.

“Pinky swear, Katie.” Anthony replies, lifting his pinky, smiling at her.

He is relieved that she had stopped crying.

Kate lifted hers and laced it with his. Giving a little smile, the first since everything happened.

🦋

In the days that passed, when they understood that Anthony and Kate didn't wanted to be separated in any way, and, that he was being a good influence for Kate, Edmund and Violet, in agreement with her family, let him visit her daily.

Every day Anthony stole a flower from Aubrey's gardens to bring to her, he knew that she loved flowers and that this made her smile, and, her smile was important to him, it made him warm inside.

He was thinking about the way her lips lifted in the corners, in the way her eyes lit up every time she saw him entering her bedroom, with a tulip in hands, her favorite, feeling a smile on his own face, as Bhav, Kate’s family butler, opened the front door for him.

“Good morning, Mr. Bridgerton.” He greeted him.

“Good Morning, Bhav… How is Katie this morning?” Anthony asked, getting inside the Sharma’s house.

He loved there, the aesthetic was completely different from Aubrey Hall,  so full of color, he could only imagine how the houses looked like in India.

“She refused to eat once again.” Bhav told him, ruefully.

Anthony sighs, striding determined to her bedroom.

“You must eat, my wild flower.”

Anthony heard her grandpapa’s voice, inside the room.

“Indeed, Kate… Don’t you remember how upset your Amma was, every time that you skipped a meal?” Her grandmama said.

“Amma is not here to be upset…” He then heard Kate’s sad voice.

“I am here.” Her father said.

Anthony had to stop himself from huffing, did they truly not understand her at all? Reminding her of her Amma, pressuring her, would only make Kate more sad….

Then, Anthony knocks on her flowery white door, not waiting for a reply to get in.

Kate was sad.. she missed her Amma, she missed how she used to play with her, while feeding her. Everything reminded her of her Amma, everything made Kate miss her…

Why couldn't her family understand her? Why did they insisted like this… ? She knows that she has to eat, but, with them talking to her like this, as if she doesn't care about them, as if they don't miss her Amma like she does…. How could they continue on normally? How…?

She feels disheartened, getting crestfallen. But then, she hears a knock on her door, and, Anthony enters her bedroom, and, the sight of him, bringing a pink tulip in his hands, cheers her up, immediately.

“Anthony!” She exclaims, smiling, with gleaming eyes.

“Katie! Your Highness, Your Royal Highness, Your Grace.” He greeted them, bowing his head, opening a smile to Kate.

Mayan, Edwina and Agnimukha looked at each other, realizing that Anthony would have a better luck than they would, in convincing her to eat. So, they leave the room, after greeting him back.

And, indeed, it didn't take Anthony 5 minutes to convince her to eat.

“Katie… Papa said that you won’t get better if you do not eat. Besides, you are already shorter than me, how will you learn how to ride, if you don’t have the strength for it?” He challenged her.

Kate took the fork, taking a morsel of mango, from the plate in front of her, putting it entirely inside her mouth, saying, defiant. “One day, I will be as tall as you are, Tony. And, not only I will learn how to ride, but, I will win every race as well!”

He laughed, continuing to taunt her. “Eating as you eat, you won’t."

Then he took a fork, robbing the morsel that she was going to put in hers, bringing it to his mouth.

Kate gaped her mouth, outraged.

But then, instead of him eating it, he brought it to her mouth, winking at her.

And, Kate forgot everything about what had vexed her in the first place. Eating happily, feeling warm inside.

Loving that, at least, she had Anthony on her side.

Anthony smiled, at seeing her eat more eagerly.

Loving to see that tenacity back in her eyes.

Anthony’s daily's visits had motivated Kate.

She loved Anthony's visits, he always filled her day with sweetness, whether with the scent of the flowers he’d brought her, or with the sweets that he'd scrounged from Aubrey’s kitchens, or when she felt his skin against hers, making her feel safe, banishing the loneliness that had appeared within her, in the absence of her Amma.

She felt it, in such a way, that the warmth spread inside her even when they just were jousting in thumbs fights.

She just loved him. He is the best of friends!

When she was finally better, he invited her to meet Aubrey Hall, and, his newborn baby brother, Colin.

Kate jumped out of the carriage, ignoring the footman arm, extended to help her, in awe of Aubrey’s sight.

It was so picturesque, the cascade of flowers descending over the entrance was so beautiful. It made Aubrey look like it came out from a fairy tale! How amazing it must be, to live in a place like this, she thought.

Kate couldn’t wait to know every corner of it, to see how beautiful it is inside, and also, for when she can play hide and seek with Anthony!

Anthony was excited that Kate was finally well and was getting to come to Aubrey for the first time.

He got ready in record time, and, he ate his breakfast as quickly as he could.

“Anthony!” His mother reproached him.

“Slow down, my son, or you might end up choking on the food.” Edmund told him, kindly.

Anthony tried to eat more slowly, but, he couldn't.

He wanted for Kate to arrive, he wanted to see her reaction to his ancestral home.

Upon having Humboldt announce her arrival, he bolted from the breakfast room, rushing through the corridors, throwing open the front door.

Oh my…. Kate's eyes widened, as her mouth fell open, and, the joy filled her entire being, as she stared in awe at Aubrey Hall. What a sight! He thought.

The sun reflected on her long, curly black hair, and, on her rich brown skin, and, and…. She looked so… so beautiful! There was no other word to describe her in that instant, and, the sight of her did something to Anthony's heart….. It felt so right to have her here… he just loved her presence in Aubrey.

He… just… loves her so much!

He showed her every part of the house, standing tall and proudly, leaving the stables for last.

Getting there, knowing his sibling, then, Aubrey’s property, and now, it’s stables, it made Kate excited for the first time in forever.

Kate had always wanted to learn how to ride, she couldn't believe that she was finally going to do it!

She went to the horses feeling completely mesmerized.

While Anthony went and chose a tame pony for her,  Nectar.

“Nectar?!” She asked him, fascinated, while caressing the beautiful pony.

“What other name could I give him, if he is yours and you love sweetness?” He told her, smiling.

Kate giggled, and, jumped forward, hugging him, feeling that warmth spreading inside her once more.

Anthony hugged her tight, spinning her around, laughing as well.

He is glad to have her happy again in his arms. From the very first moment, he knew that someone like her was made to smile.

He loved her smile. The way her eyes gleamed with happiness.

He sighs, thinking about how much he loves to share his time with her, play with her, tease her, he loves… everything with her. That’s how he knows that no one eles could be a better friend than her.

Then, he helped her to mount Nectar, explaining how the saddle worked, as well as the reins, the stableman guiding Nectar, while Anthony accompanied her on foot.

Together, they shared an amazing morning.

Kate trotted and even managed to gallop a little.

Upon descending from Nectar, with Anthony's help, she teased him. “See…? Soon, I will be able to win all our races.”

“Perhaps… since this seems to be the only way you have a chance of reaching me….” Was his reply, taunting her.

Then he started running, laughing, and, Kate followed him.

But, her short legs were no match for his long ones.

He gained the upper hand with ease, heading towards the side doors, which led into the kitchens.

When she thought that he had stopped to brag, instead, he held out his hand to her, and, said enthusiastically. “Come on, Katie! Let’s see if we can scrounge some sweets before lunch.”

Kate intertwined her hand with his, and, right there, while looking at Anthony walking beside her, with his hand in hers, Kate felt truly happy, she believed, in that moment, that despite everything, she could be alright.

How could she not, when she had Anthony by her side?

Everything is better in his presence… That must be why she loves, well… everything with him.

At seeing the rays of sunlight shinning upon his pale complexion, upon his chestnut hair, bringing out the sweetness on his eyes and smile, Kate feels something funny in her heart, something that goes beyond that warmth, something that makes her feel safe, and, that all is alright in her world, once again.

Chapter Text

The years passed, unfolding before them gently.

Strengthening the bonds between them.

Between their families.

In the years that has passed, Kate had traveled to India. And, although she had loved there, as to meet her extended family, she was not sad to return to England.

She loved the life in the country, where she could run through the woods, amidst the flowers, and, to go swimming in the lake, and, to ride every day.

But, above all else, she missed Anthony.

She missed playing with him, racing with him, talking to him, the nights when one would invade the bed of the other, to read horror stories, she even missed the silence that existed between them.

The first thing that she did when she arrived, was try to go to Aubrey Hall.

She tried, because, Anthony said that he, in the note he had sent to her, would visit her in the next day.

That had disheartened her deeply.

But, her Appa told her that he must have been busy, and, since he did showed up in the next day, and, he still visited her daily, she did not thought that he did not liked her any longer, still…

He would come every day, and, he would always dismiss her attempts to go to visit him, and, today, she had enough of it!

"I don't understand why you don't want for me to go to Aubrey Hall." Kate was telling him, while they were trying to make a cake, in her kitchen’s house.

Kate's family cook, Mrs. Dadenkar, was teaching them how to cook for some time now.

“It's not that I don't want to, Katie, but, it is getting crowded there, with Daphne and another baby on the way.” He says, sullenly.

While he looked at the coal that would not light. How could lighting a stove be so difficult? He thought, getting even more grumpy.

He loved his siblings, but, he hated having to share his time with his parents with them, just as he hated having to share his time with Kate with them.

Especially, after all the time they stood apart.

“What if Mary has a baby too?” 'Kate asks, worried about what has been running through her mind lately, his words making her more stressed, instead of calming her.

Not long ago, once they’d returned from India, her grandma Edwina had fell ill, and, while she was visiting the village, she fainted, and Mary, who had recently moved there, (taking refuge from her parents' insistence that she had to marry to a nobleman that she despised), saw Edwina and helped her back to the house.

Mary, like Kate, liked flowers and she understood about herbs also, she promptly recommended a tea, as soon as they'd set their foot in the house, which made all the difference in the recovery of Edwina’s health, who had grown weaker after Anya's passing, resisting only out of her love for Kate and Agnimukha.

Mary's recurring presence in the house, to visit her, had given her a new breath of life.

As well in Kate's.

She loved when Mary braided her hair with flowers.

Or when they planted them together… She wasn’t her Amma, but, when Violet Bridgerton hugged her, she felt a motherly presence enveloping her, and, when Mary was there for her, she’d felt the same.

All this had warmed Mary up for her Tatta, as well as for her Appa.. although… her Appa was always looking funny at Mary.

Mary's greater understanding of flowers and herbs, of what they could do, was what got Kate interested in cooking, and, Anthony being Anthony, didn't wanted to stay behind, and so, he wanted to learn it too.

Sometimes Mary, herself, was the one teaching them something new, sometimes was Mrs. Dadenkar, like today.

Over time, Kate had grown more and more fond of Mary's presence in theirs lives, and, she wasn't the only one.

It didn't take long for Appa to ask her if she had stopped loving her Amma, when she started to love Mary. Kate answered a no, and then, he told her that it was because the heart of a human being had an inexhaustible capacity to love, and that he, like her, even though he still loved her Amma, loved Mary also.

Soon after, they were married.

Kate supposed that this explained the strange gazes between them.

It was good to have Mary in their lives, she had lost her Amma, but, she had gained a Mama, and, Mary was kind, and warm, and loving, and, Kate was glad for the joy she had brought into their lives.

But, she still feared that her Appa would forget about her Amma, that he would have another child and forget about her, but, Mary had assured her that she hadn't come to take her Amma's place, that, if they were blessed with children, they wouldn't take her place either, but, still… Kate bites her lip in distress.

"Having a brother is nice, Katie. The problem is having sisters…" Anthony replies, still a bit grumpy.

Kate frowns, not understanding, her curiosity making her forget of her distress. “What's wrong with having sisters?”

“Well… they are girls.” He says, shrugging, before sticking his finger in the cake dough.

“Tony…! Mrs. Dadenkar said that we should not do that… Besides, I am a girl!” She replies, dragging the bowl, which was with the cake dough, to the side, away from his meddling finger.

“You're different… And, she said that we needed to taste whatever we were doing.” He says, smugly, reaching over and sticking his finger in the cake dough once more, dripping it on her nose, before sticking his finger into his mouth.

Kate rolls her eyes at him, he is her best friend, but still, did all boys get so vexing when they grew up? If he is like this at 10, how will he be at 15, 20, 50?

She wipes the cake dough off of her nose, with her hand, and, then she rubs it on his face.

Anthony cannot believe in what Kathani had just done, eyeing her disbelieved. He adored her, but, did she always have to be… so aggravating? How will she be at 10, 20, 50, if she is already like this at 7?

He doesn't know, but, he knows that he wants to know.

In the period when she was in India, he had missed her all the time.

Since then, he dreads having to go to Eton next year, and, to be apart from her.

She is his person. He cannot lose her… His parents were having a new baby, after a new baby… He knows babies demands time and attention, but, still… When she was gone, he had felt so alone, with his parents giving their attention to his new siblings…

He could play with Benedict, but, he is not like them… He is more interested in pantings, than in riding and competing like him and Kate.

That’s how he knows that no one will ever be like her. 

So, he runs after her, when she'd ran after putting the dough on his face, and, she ducks under the wooden table.

Making fun of his height, that it didn't allow for him to go in there to get her.

“Wow… someone is not going to catch me this time!” She taunted him.

Anthony crawled on all fours and tried to catch her anyway, but, she climbs out, on the other side, and, she runs out of the kitchen, cackling.

As if that would stop him. Kate does not know that he loves to chase after her?

He goes after her, and, she laughs at the top of her lungs, trying to escape him through the yard, hiding among the immense trees.

“You can hide, but, you know that I will found and catch you, Katie. I will always do so!” He exclaimed, wandering through the vast vegetation, following the sound of her laughter.

With both being so competitive, they soon forget about the cake, spending the sunny afternoon playing hide and seek instead, forgetting about everyone else.

About all that troubled them.

In that flowery backyard, there was only them, Kate and Anthony.

🦋

Anthony was at Kate's, before going to for Christmas at Aubrey, and, before returning to Eton.

Anthony hated Eton.

Everything was so serious there, he couldn't play there… He didn't understand why… But, it had something to do with him being the son of a Viscount… He had to learn how to be one too… He didn't understand the reason either. … His father was already the Viscount!

He huffs… leaving his room, tiptoeing through the dark hallway, feeling the carpet under his feet, as he approached Kate's room.

He knows that she hates stormy nights, and, that her father often reads to her at such times, but, since Her Grace had become pregnant, he wasn't always able to do that.

Anthony walks into her bedroom, and, sees her curled up on her bed, her head was between her legs, and, her hands were over her ears.

It bothers him, to see her in such state… His Katie is brave.

Kate was trying to ignore the sound of the rain, and, of the thunder brought with it, when she heard her bedroom door open.

Upon seeing Anthony through the shadows, her heart leaped, and, the sight of him impacted her.

She knows how much he is hating going to Eton. And yet, here he is worrying about her too, it fills her with courage, if he was here for her in the midst of his storm, she would be there for him, in the midst of hers.

"All this noise it’s not letting me sleep... I figured you weren't managing to sleep either... What do you say, if we go read something, Katie?" He asked her, softly.

Kate nodded, getting out of her bed, picking up the candelabra from her bedside, and, lacing her hand in his, guiding them to the library.

Arriving there, they started to look for a book, that they hadn't read yet, on the shelves, when they found a half-hidden book.

They pull it out and sit on the floor, Kate pulls the candelabra closer to them, as Anthony opens the book.

Both were so entertained by their curiosity, by their proximity, that they didn't even think to sit on the soft, and warm, armchair, instead of the hard and cold floor.

When looking at the book, full of engravings, they blink and look at each other, without quite understanding what they were seeing.

"But….?" He mutters.

"What are they doing?" Kate asked.

"You do not understand….?" Anthony wondered, he thought that she could read this language that he didn't understand.

“I understand, but… Not its meaning… What is his thing, doing in her thing? It’s… tight there… That must hurt!” Kate said, stunned.

They turned the pages intrigued, not understanding the reason for so much nudity, or those strange positions, until…

Both gasp, reaching for the image, covering it with their hands, that met on top of the page, while they looked at each other, flustered, looking elsewhere then.

But, Kate, being Kate, felt her curiosity get the better of her, and, she went back to reading the book.

“Tony… I… I… think that this is how babies are made….” She said, quietly.

“What?!" He almost screamed.

She continued to read, nodding her head. “From what is said here, this is… is… I… I don't know the translation for that word.”

"My father is not hurting my mother, Kate!" Anthony exclaimed, in dismay.

“But… but… Mary… groaned the other night, remember? And now, she is…” Kate said, more quietly, nervous at the notion that this was necessary to make children, fidgeting with her fingers.

Anthony slammed the disturbing book shut, going to place it back on the shelf.

He saw that Kate had gone back to waver, and, that moved him out of his own preoccupation, he sat down beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close, saying. “You don't have to worry, Katie. I will never let anyone hurt you… Even if I have to marry you to prevent such acts from happening.”

Kate looks at him, lifting her pinky, to see how serious he was being. He lifts his, and, intertwines with hers. She smiles, and, confesses. “I don't think I could marry anyone, but you, Tony. After all, I will never love a husband, like I do you.”

Then, she rests her head on his shoulder, happily, feeling safe in his arms, beginning to feel her relaxation bring sleep with it.

To love someone else?! Anthony is disturbed again... The idea of Kate loving someone other than him bothers him deeply, the idea of him loving someone other than her is so inconceivable that it is an absurd idea.

No, he does not want for her to love anyone else, he does not want to love anyone but her. He just wants to love her.

It's then that he remembers that she didn't exactly said that she loves him. He looks at her, to ask if her word choice meant that she loves him, like he loves her, but, she had already fallen into sleep.

Anthony loved watching her sleep. Her hair went all over the place, she always had a slight smile on her face, and, her scent… He loved the scent of lilies that she has, one of the best parts of sharing his nights with her, was being able to sleep surrounded by it.

Nobody else smelled like her.

Least of all at Eton. He doesn't believe that he's going to have to walk away from her again… Why does he needs to know of so many numbers after all?

🦋

Kate couldn't say how the loss of her Amma had changed her, until her grandmama departed from this world.

Someone who knew her could say that she had come to fear storms, but that wasn't quite the case… She just… didn’t like to remember her Amma in such a way….

Her Amma was sweet, fun, strong… She didn't deserve to be remembered in such a state, but, Kate couldn't help it, when the heavy rain came, there were the flashes of memory of her Amma fighting to breath again.

It tormented her… that made her struggle with herself, because she didn't want to bear such memories within her…

When her grandma was gone, this was what was evident… How much she had struggled through life ever since.

She was always relying on Anthony, on her Appa, to cheer her up, to distract her from her pain.

But, now… Now, Mary is about to give birth to her sibling, her Appa is taking care of Mary, and, her Tatta is devastated, and, Anthony is at Eton.

Now,  Kate only has herself, and, her flowers to console her.

The days following her grandmama passing were dark, even though, the sun shinned bright in the skies.

Never was more challenging to her to find the strength within her to carry on.

But then… Edwina was born, and, something had happened to Kate when she held her little sister in her arms for the first time... Life had taken her grandmama away from her, but, it had sent her another Edwina... Life had taken her Amma, but, it had sent her a Mama.

Of course, people are irreplaceable, but, if she was stuck in her pain, if she'd given up after her dear Amma passing away, she wouldn't have had all those years with her grandmama, she wouldn't have known Mary or her little sister, she wouldn't have the friendship that she has today with Anthony.

That’s when she understood that if one is stuck on the bad, they will never get to the good parts of life.

She had learned the value of acceptance. That the only constancy in life is inconstancy and change. If she were stuck in her losses, she would never move forward and nothing would be worth it.

So.. just like that, she stopped to struggle, to feel so sad about it… To be tormented by the storms in the skies, and, within herself.

Not that she did not miss her Amma or her Grandmama, she missed them at the mornings, when they all joined for breakfast, she missed them at the nights, when she had her hair oiled…

But, she found them at the curls of her hair, in her almond-shaped eyes, in the rumble of the wind, which touched her skin like one of their caresses.

She looks at Mary presenting her sister to the Bridgertons, with her Appa standing tall alongside her, her Tatta absent from their gathering, as was usual now, and…. she just… wants for her Tatta to be able to do the same…

He was inconsolable over the loss of both of them, growing quieter and quieter by each new moon…

Not even her little sister, who marveled her sunrise ofter sunrise, makes him happy or shakes him out of his stupor.

Kate didn't know what to do... She felt that she was losing him, at least now she had Edwina, a sister that she loves having, contrary to what Anthony had told her.

Though he loved talking about his sister Francesca, who were born just a few couple of months previously Edwina, so she thinks he has changed his mind about it.

At looking at his siblings, she thinks of him once again…. Somehow, his absence stings differently, as her Tatta’s.

She could not have her Amma and Grandmama there with her any longer, but, she could have them, and yet…

Kate lowers her head, sighing, but then, she raises it, deciding to go to play with Anthony’s siblings.

Thinking of how, in a way, she can make on her own, for she knows that she can be alright now, but, at looking at Colin and Benedict, so similar, and yet, so different from her Anthony, she does not want for this solitude to be her companion, but, him instead.

🦋

Anthony understood that his father was someone important a while ago, or so he'd thought, because only now that he started to understand what it means to be a Viscount.

His father just don’t have to take care of the family, but, of their finances, of the estate finances also. He had to take care of the properties, of the tenants, of their families, to help the community and still go to parliament!

He doesn't know how his father managed to handle everything, the mere thought… It was enough to overwhelm Anthony… Especially, when he had understood that for him to be a Viscount, his father would have to pass away… Just like Kate's mother and grandmother.

Every time that Anthony thought about it, he felt a lump in his throat. His father was his favorite person in the world, along with Kate.

Maybe that was why he didn't fit in at Eton... Apart from her not being there, everyone was eager to grow up, to get positions of power, and, no other notion could trouble Anthony more.

He sighs, turning around the corridor, to go back to his dorm, when he sees a group of boys, a little older than him, bullying Simon Basset.

Ugh… Anthony hates bullies!

He advances on them, pushing them away from Simon, standing tall, and, saying haughtily. “Simon’s father is a Duke, if you mess with him, you’ll be in a far bigger trouble than just me.”

As usual, the bullies, like the cowards that they are, back down at hearing his threat.

At seeing them recoil to whatever hole they had come out, he turns around and smiles at Simon, holding out a hand to help him to his feet.

“Than… Thanks.” He told him, stuttering a bit.

Anthony smile widens then, and, he replies kindly. ”You are welcome.”

Simon smiled back at him then, a bit mesmerized, no one ever defended him.

Anthony realized, in that instant, that maybe he had what it takes within him.

In the days that followed, as he and Simon became friends, he realized that he was going to be okay, but even so, even though he knew it, even though his loneliness was now an accompanied one, he couldn't stop himself form wishing, for not even a single moment, that Kate was there with him.

🦋

Time unfolded before them, as the blink of an eye.

The years passed fast, Anthony and Kate learned how to navigate the times they were apart, making friends, turning their attention to their duties, as the son of a noble, as the daughter of a foreign Princess.

But, even though they'd enjoyed the company of their families and friends, even though they'd learned how to tolerate the time they had to dedicate to their responsibilities, instead of being able to indulge themselves, or each other, still, they'd never managed to silence the yearning within them.

The longing would not pass, not even when they were side by side, they just yearned more and more for each other, for the warmth, for the camaraderie, for the smiles, even for their silences, as for the shared gazes that told the other a thousand stories.

Every free time that Anthony could spare to be at her side, he would do so. 

As Kate.

The more she’d grew up, the less she understood, why, even tough, she and Anthony, both, were the first borns of important people, yet… their education could not differ more from the other.

She is thinking about it, about their roles in society, as they swim on the lake, at Aubrey Hall.

At the distance, they could hear their siblings playing at the tree house, laughing out loud.

Both were enjoying of the sunshine bathing their skins.

Kate supposed that she should be happy, that, at least, even though they had to spend so much time apart from the other, and, with him even finding a close friend, that he did not distanced himself from her, that would break her heart.

Kate sighs, thinking for the millionth time how absurd it is that boys received such a different education than girls!

When her family went to the court, before them returning to their country home, she had asked the Queen the reason behind this and she didn't understand why her family had been so mortified by her inquiring, the Queen had laughed and she'd agreed with her, saying that they should do something about that, indeed.

She is telling Anthony about it, as they felt the gentle sway of the waters pass them by, as they floated.

“But, they told me that I shouldn't have said anything!” She said, revolted, not understanding her family admonishment of her.

“I agree with you…” He starts, and, when he sees her lift her head to look at him in disbelief, he says. “I do… school would be much better if you could be there.”

"I thought it got far better since you befriended... Simon?" She asks, unsure of the name.

“Simon Basset, son of the Duke of Hastings.. And, yes, it did, but, still… I have to be away from you, from the family… I know…” He adds when he sees her opening her mouth to interrupt him. “I know that Benedict and Colin are there as well, but, they are in different years.. Besides, next year I am not going to Eton any longer.”

He huffs.

The truth it is that the more they grew older, more rules they had to abide by, and, Anthony hated it. He knows that he has to grow up, and, became a man, after all, he will be the next Viscount Bridgerton, still… Knowing it, does not prevent him from wishing that all were as simple as when they were kids, specially when those said rules kept turning him further apart from Kate.

That’s the opposite of what he wants, what Anthony truly wants is…

“Yes… You are going to Oxford… To learn how to be a Lord, for only then, to travel around Europe… how dull.” She can't help, but, mock a bit.

“I know that we are privileged, but, have you ever stopped to think that,  in the next year, we will no longer be able to be alone like this anymore, unless we get married.” He says, sulking at the prospect.

“I don't know what's such a big of a deal about us being alone, just because I'll be 15, and, you'll be 18, what's the big difference?” She says, equally upset.. If it wasn't enough that they stayed apart for so long, now this..

Kate hates it. She just hates it.. If she could have her way, she…

''It's because we can do something untoward." He says, shyly, getting flustered, as he taps his feet gently in the water, not realizing that he has approached her, lost in thoughts.

“Like what? Kissing?” Kate questions, haughtily.

She still cannot see the big deal of it, she and Anthony were the best of friends, the last thing on their minds were ruining the other. She knows that they had to act differently in public, but, she does not understand the reason why them acting as they always did, in the privacy of their homes, were improper.

As if they would turn something else other than Kate and Anthony.

This sets Kate into motion, and, she closes the distance between them.

Anthony looks startled at her, especially, when she impetuously glues her lips to his, making him widen his eyes.

Anthony had never kissed a girl before, although he had the opportunity before, none had appealed to him, none had her rich brown skin, her beautiful amber eyes, her black curly locks, her scent of lilies…

It takes him a moment for the understanding sink in within him, and then, when she was going to pull away, he pulls her close, opening his mouth, shyly at first, letting his lips move as if in a brief dance, that awakes a unknown warmth that spreads inside of him.

The feeling of his soft lips moving against hers, his tongue moving against hers, touching it, as they get to know the insides of each others mouths, spreads a warmth inside Kate, a warmth that she’d never known before. Sharing of this intimacy with him, an intimacy that she'd never shared with anyone else, makes her shiver.

When the kiss ended, their eyes opened at the same time, and, their gazes locked, and, neither of them understood the heat that seemed to spread and concentrate at the same time in their bodies, or, why the air had changed between them.

Did he always had these freckles on his nose? Why did they seem so charming to her? Why she.. why she wants to do this again?

Is this the reason why he is always thinking about her? Why she is so different from the rest?

They look at each other, then, not knowing what to do with themselves, as they feel that they can get lost in the depths of each other’s gazes.

Kate tries to lighten the mood, by shrugging her shoulders, trying to disguise all that she is feeling, as she lets her body flow away from his, gulping, before saying. “There.. We kissed… No big deal.”

“Yeah…” Anthony muttered, he tries to smile, but, he fails, feeling her absence.. her distance within him deeply.

They looked awkwardly at each other.

It was true that the kiss hadn't meant nothing, for their kiss had meant everything.

Chapter Text

Anthony hears a cry, reverberating loudly, in the quiet of the night. He rushes to the nursery, his steps muffled by the carpet in the hallway, but when he arrives, she's already there... Rocking his newborn sister, taking her to the wet nurse.

"There you go, sweetheart… Now you will be feed and all will be well.” Kate whispered, against his baby sister's pale skin, before placing a peck on her forehead, and, handing her over to the wet nurse.

Anthony comes out of the door, walking aimlessly through the dimly lit hallway, feeling short of breath. He couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't...

“Tony..?'' Kate asks, uncertain, as her figure appears in the hallway.

And, that's all it takes… her tenderness… it is all it takes for him to collapse, his back sliding across the wallpaper, his legs giving way under his weight, and, the next thing he knows, he's already on the floor, weeping.

Kate runs to him, wrapping her arms around him, knowing well of the pain he is feeling, trying to convey some modicum of solace to him.

He clings to her… he feels devastated, devastated by the turn that his life has taken at losing his beloved father. He sobs, burying his face in the crook of her neck, sinking into her warmth, the only comfort he had now days, her presence.

Her scent, her heartbeat, the rise and falling of her chest, the feel that she is alive, here with him, that this did not changed, is his only solace.

For his siblings had lost their ground, just like him, just like his mother… who had been completely adrift since their father left, all because of a fucking bee sting!

He misses him, his laugh, his hug, his advice, how they played pranks on his siblings, how they prepared a birthday cake for his mother, invading the kitchens at dawn to do it, since they were terrible at making hats for her… He misses him, how he seemed to make everything appear to be so easy and simple. With him, his bad skill at hats, were just an opportunity to laugh, to bake cakes and now… He shakes his head, feeling a weight in his stomach, and, tears flooding his eyes.

Kate holds him tight, letting him pour out all the grief within him. Since Lord Bridgerton passed, he has been stifling the pain away, in order for him to carry on, in order for him to take care of his family, even though she, and, her own family were there for them.

But, she gets him… When she’d lost her Amma, she could not do anything, because all reminded her of her Amma. And, Anthony is cut from the same cloth as her, except, that he burdens himself, so he does not have to remind of his father, to feel his absence, but, she, unfortunately, knows, that the pain has a way to slip through the cracks of a broken heart.

She also knows that the light can get in through this same cracks… She just.. hopes that after he put all out, for this to create a space for him to see it.

He says in choked manner, feeling suffocated by the lacerating pain. “I don't know how you did it, Katie… I don't know how to shoulder all these responsibilities, how to go on without him…. It hurts, Kate! It hurts, it hurts like hell… It hurts here.” He points to his heart, saying through hiccuped breaths. “I feel this void, that I don't know how to fill, this constant absence that…”

Kate feels her eyes water, sitting down across from him, taking his hands in hers, saying, gently. “You will not fill the void, Tony. You are the son of both… it will hurt to not have him here, it will hurt to see your mother in such a state, and, you haven't learned how to be a Viscount, not properly, of course you won't know how to handle with all the responsibilities placed on your shoulders, but, that doesn't mean it will always be like this. Don't you remember of what you said to me when I'd lost my Amma?”

“We were kids, Kate…” He says, forlornly, the streams of his tears still falling.

“But, we are here for each other, aren't we?” She squeezes his hands, before continuing to say. "Anthony... would you rather have had another father, if you knew that Edmund would die so early on?"

He looks at her stunned, stopping crying, feeling his mouth open up in shock, what kind of question is that? "Of course not!"

“Do you know why? Because you loved him and he loved you, and, this love makes what you've experienced worth it, even with him departing like this… His love stayed, Anthony. You are the fruit of your parents love, as your siblings are. As everything you have experienced along him, it is also the fruit of his love, of your love for him. Your love for him it is still here.” She takes one of her hands over to his heart, and, he blinks, feeling some of the pressure on his chest loosen up, breathing easier, as she caresses his hand with her thumb.

“As everything that he has taught you. Do not believe that love it is what is hurting you and your family so…. Love transcends time, space... Happiness comes and goes, just like pain, Anthony, just like people, but, not love. As long as your love lives on, you will always find it in your heart, and, this love… this love it is what will make you and your family heal, for the love you feel for yourselves, for one another, for him… For the love that he is still feeling from wherever he is… I know that your father's love will never falter, no matter where he is, so do not let yours falter either.” She leans towards him, feeling an ache in her chest for him, for his family, for the memories that were flooding her mind.

He looks at her, as her forehead touch his, he looks at her as if he is seeing her for the first time. All those years ago he had told her that she wasn't alone, that he would never leave her, and now, he can see that she will never leave him as well, that he is not alone.

He knows that he would be lost if he didn't have her here with him, in these days, so draining and mournful, without her he would have drown in his grieve and in his duties and ending up losing himself, losing the Anthony that his father had loved and been proud of.

Just being who he is, just loving himself and his family like his father had done... This is how he will be able to do it, to take care of his family, it's clear as daylight to him now, and, all thanks to her, of his beloved friend Kate.

He squeezes her hands, in deep gratitude, with something warm fluttering in his chest that soothes him, something he still can't name, even though he cannot stop wondering its meaning since that kiss, smiling tentatively at her.

Kate smiles at her beloved friend, relieve flutters in her, at seeing him appearing significantly less lost, she hugs him again, trying to understand the longing that echoed in her heart, that makes her want to stay with him in her embrace forever. She just wants to…

Anthony knows of loss now, and, all that he wants to do, in the face of it, it’s to hold her tight, and, to never let her go. He just wants to stay right where he is, in a cold hard floor, surrounded by her lilies embrace, by her warmth, he just wants to….

🦋

Anthony sighs, looking at the scenery outside the window, where he could see Kate's father showing a bird flying high in the blue sky to baby Hyacinth.

Mary trying to convince his mother to eat some more, while Kate distracts his siblings, with Ben's help, playing hide and seek with them across the vast green field of Aubrey's gardens.

It was good to be able to hear them laugh again, Francesca had not uttered a single word for months, it was her laugh that had caught his attention, drawing his gaze away from the ledger in front of him.

“We can take a break… We've been on top of this for hours on end, a breath of fresh air could do us both well.” Kate's grandfather suggested.

Surprisingly, he was the one who had offered to help him with the estate, with the viscounty. Kate had been heartened by her grandfather offering to help, and, Anthony understood his need to keep busy, so he’d accepted.

The Prince was of great help to him, he not only understood how to take care of the land, of the tenants, but, also he understood what it was like to have a title, a role to fulfill, but, above all, duo him being miles away from his hometown, he understood how to do it in a way that didn't overwhelm him, that allowed him to enjoy the company of his family, and, Anthony craved for that.

He craved for the lost normalcy of their days, maybe that's why he took his suggestion, maybe that's why when they got to the garden, he ended up suggesting. ‘’What if we play a match of Pall Mall? I believe it is time for our sisters to get acquainted with our little family tradition."

Kate, of course, was the first to agree, followed immediately, by a very excited Eloise, and, surprisingly, by a very eager Daphne as well.

Edwina did not share of the same feeling, going to play in a flower bed with Francesca and Gregory.

Colin and Ben perked up at the general enthusiasm, as did Mayan, who went to hand Hyacinth to Mary, who cooed at her, while Prince Agnimukha joined his mother for tea.

Kate promptly said. “I will get the Pall Mall set." 

And then, off she went, in search of the Pall Mall set, running.

Anthony didn't take a whole minute to chase after her, drawing a laughter from everyone, including Agnimukha and his mother.

Anthony knows that without Kate's presence in his life, his mother's grief would have torn him apart, and, that he would have ran away from love like the plague.

But, thanks to her, he understood that just because his mother had gone through that terrible pain, which had made her confess unthinkable things to him, it didn't mean that she would stay like this forever, and, now, at hearing the sound of her laughter, he knows that she really won't remain like this for much longer.

Just as winter came and went. Kate did help him to understand that, but, that does not mean that he will let her get her hands on his mallet of death. Since he'd broke the purple one, by accident, she always stole his black one for her.

Not today.

When he sees her smirking with the mallet in her hands, and, he runs after her, trying to get it back, with their families cheering on the background, he knows they're going to be fine, even with his father's absence amidst them.

🦋

In the years that followed the death of his father, Kate and her family were fundamental for his family to overcome the tragic event.

For him to overcome it.

Mary had supported his mother, His Highness and His Grace had helped him with the estate and the viscountcy, and, even little Edwina had helped by coming to play with his younger siblings frequently...

As Kate was there for his older siblings.

And him as well.

Anthony saw her flourish before his own eyes, and, turning into something far greater than just his best friend, than just his person. She was there for him, through and through, and, she had became a life partner for him.

Seeing how she grew up and became a beautiful woman, sweet like the girl he had known, but, strong, duo everything that life had put her through, made him understand that she would never succumb like his mother, if it happened to him what had happened to his father, and, maybe it was that, or maybe it was her, or maybe it was the fact that they'd known each other forever, and, that never had been anyone else for him, but, now Anthony knows that what he feels for her isn't what a brother or a friend feels for his sister, for his friend, but, actually, what a man feels for a woman.

That he loves her, that he’d loved her at first sight, before even understanding what love truly is, and, that all that he wants to do it is to love her, more and more, completely…. Properly.

He knows that he is a station below her, but, he hoped that growing up with her would give him a chance to have his proposal accepted. He muses about it, while he stares at the betrothal ring his father had given to his mother.

Anthony looked forward for the day when she would turn eighteen, with a growing anxiety at each new approached day.

He has been waiting for her birthday, so she'd come of age and he can propose to her.

He doesn't know what she feels for him, but, he hopes that she feels what he feels for her in his heart.

But life, as always, had its own plans... There was a saying that if you wanted to make God laugh, you just had to make your own plans…

🦋

Kate finished putting the final touches on her hair, wondering, as she looked in the mirror, if she should wear her sari over her lehenga and choli or not.

She dismisses Padma, at seeing her Appa's figure reflected in the mirror.

“My little girl has become a woman now….” He says, while placing a hand on her shoulder, placing a kiss on her cheek then.

Kate turns to him emotionally, not knowing exactly what to say, how to express all the joy, and, all the sadness that she is feeling.

The absence of her Amma and her Grandmama had echoed strongly inside her throughout the day.

But, words weren't necessary, her Appa understood by looking at her, as he always did.

He opens a sad smile, and, says, softly. “I'm sure they're proud of you too, wherever they are. Anya and I always talked a lot about your future, when she was pregnant of you… About, how you would be, what you would like to do, and, we never reached any kind of consensus…”

This draws a watery laugh from both of them.

“The only thing that we agreed on, was that we wanted for you to live at your fullest, was that we wanted for you to be happy. That's why we agreed to raise you as freely as possible…. That’s why we, also, agreed to give you this….” He then takes a box out of his pants pocket, continuing to talk. “Just when you decided to get married, but, something tells me that now that you've turned 18, the moment will soon come.”

Kate looks at the beautiful wooden box, adorned with golden mandalas, and, as she opens it, she gawks, feeling the tears no longer contained at the borders of her eyes, meeting her skin, as she takes the wedding bangles, made of gold, emeralds and diamonds, of her Amma.

She looks at her Appa, bringing her hand to her mouth, still a little disbelieved.

His smile widens, and, he says, emotionally. “Happy Birthday, chellam.”

He gives her a hug, saying, after kissing her forehead. "I'll be waiting for you downstairs, at the stairs, ready for your first waltz."

Kate smiles, still rather moved by the gift, hoping that her eyes, that her smile, that the other hug she gives him, will tell him of how grateful she is, of how much she loves him.

If she had known it would be the last time, she doesn't think that she would have let him go, she doesn't think she would have contained her words, she would have talked about everything, about nothing, but, especially, about how much she loves him. She would repeat the words like a mantra, again and again, until all he knew of her was her love.

But, she didn't know, she saw him leave, and then , she just sat on the stool, in front of her dressing table, looking at the wedding bangles, slipping them over her wrists, thinking that now, the bangles that belonged to her grandmama, that belonged to her Amma, they were hers, that her Amma and grandmama remained with her somehow through them.

And that comforted her, not knowing how much she would hold to them in the days to come, only thinking beyond them, thinking if just as her grandmama saw her Amma wearing those bangles, if she would see her daughter wearing them one day too.

If her Appa was right, if Anthony felt for her, what she had come to realize what she feels for him, love.

If he would propose soon, if they would marry, if they would have a long and happy life together.

Seeing him become a man, duo everything he had to face, while still remaining the same caring and kind person she had known as a child, had made her love grow in her, in such a way, that she could no longer deny it.

For many moons she has been looking at him differently, especially since that kiss, and, for many months she had seen him looking at her differently as well.

As she walked out of her bedroom, her wonderings about her sari were long forgotten, replaced by the anticipation rushing through her, she walked through the halls without paying attention to anything, fidgeting with her hands, reaching the stairs, looking at him waiting, next to her Appa, and, what she sees makes her heart race.

But, then she looks at her Appa, while she steps down the stairs, and, the flame that had kindled in her heart instantly extinguishes.

Anthony will never forget, of how beautiful she looked, in her pale pink ensemble, which he always kept forgetting the name, of her curly locks framing her face, as she walked down the stairs, beaming in happiness, at seeing her dear Appa waiting for her, at the bottom of the stairs, ready to celebrate her 18th birthday in a lavish ball.

He remembers of how her face had fell, of how she ran down the stairs, of how Mayan Sharma fell to the floor, and, of how when she'd finally reached him, it was already too late.

His Highness shouted, dismissing everyone, while his mother helped Her Grace, and, he helped Kate, shouting for a doctor, even though he knew it was in vain…..

The guests dispersed, leaving, without understanding what was happening, his siblings, those who were present, approached Kate, who was shaking her father's body, pleading for him to wake up and stay with her, with an growing despair. .

Mary had fallen fainted in his mother's arms, and, His Highness continued to shout, this time, for the doctor to come hastily.

Anthony didn't know what to do, the memories of his own father, dead in his arms, and, him not knowing what to do, hit him like waves crashing over him, but, at seeing Kate in such a state, it compels him to act, there has to be something that he can do for her, to support her.

He looks around, feeling helpless, at a loss of what… It is then that he sees, Edwina, with the rest of his siblings, having escaped of the nursery, in the face of such commotion.

He sees her, about to throw herself down the stairs, in her eagerness to reach her sister, and, her father, lying on the floor, and, he gets up, promptly climbing the stairs, two steps at time, trying to prevent another tragedy.

He quickly reaches her, catching her in his arms.

“Anthy… Anthy… What… Appa… Didi… What’s wrong?” She wailed.

His younger siblings followed behind them, as he led them back to the nursery.

“Eddie… Your Appa… joined my father in heaven…” He spoke, softly, despite his inner turmoil.

The governess, who had tried to restrain the children, but, little could she do with Hyacinth in her arms, gasped.

He entered the nursery, and, seated her on a settee, kneeling in front of her, asking seriously. “Do you remember of how you helped us and we got back on our feet eventually?”

She nods, sad and worried, and, if Anthony's heart hadn't been broke already, it would be breaking now, for he had never seen her like this before, she was always brisk, and, beaming, as if she walked on air.

“So, we're going to help you… aren't we, Fran, Greg, Daph, El?” He inquires to them. "So, you, and your family, are going to be alright."

His siblings nodded eagerly, moving closer, and, Francesca hugged her, saying. "Our daddies are together in heaven now, Eddie... They're not alone... Just like you aren't."

Edwina began to cry, and, Anthony felt his chest constricting, as a lump form in his throat.

El, Greg, and, Daph joined in the hug, and, there was his heart threatening to break all over again.

He heaved himself up, knowing that he would collapse if he continued there, and, he couldn't collapse, he had to hold on, to steady Kate in such hour, then, he mutters to the governess. “Stay with them, distract them until the situation…”

His voice trails off, but, the governess understands what he means, he leaves, and, comes face to face with Ben and Colin, as he steps out of the nursery.

“Mother is taking care of the party and the guests who stayed to find out what happened. She sent us upstairs… The doctor is with… His Grace in his bedroom, His Highness and Her Grace are waiting outside, as well as Kath…” Benedict told, in a tearful voice.

Colin made no effort to hold back his tears. “Kath is so sad, Anth… I had never seen her like this… Why did our papas had to die like this?”

Anthony hugs his brothers, feeling the tears threatening to leave his eyes, just saying. “I don't know, Col… I really don't know… I have to go to Katie… Can you guys help Lali to distract the kids?”

They nod, and, he allows himself to watch them going in, bracing himself, before walking through the halls, making his way to Kate.

When he sees her... his heart breaks all over again, into a thousand new pieces.

The image of her huddled in a corner, farther away from where Her Grace and His Highness were, hugging herself, with her head down, looking so defeated, and, small, like when she'd told him she had lost her Amma, would stay with him forever, as well as the pain it causes him.

Back then, her pain had saddened him, now… it tears him apart.

He strides to her, welcoming her into his arms, but, she remains the same, without even adjusting her neck, so that her face would not be buried in his chest, without even hugging him back, mumbling in a muffled voice. “I'm an orphan, Tony… I don't have an Appa, nor an Amma anymore…. I thought I knew what it was like to be alone, but… I didn't… I didn't know… He came to talk to me, and, I said so little… I….”

Her words are lost amidst her pain, Kate can't feel anything else, think of anything else, hear... see anything but it, and, the moment she'd lost him.

Goddesses and Gods, how was this possible? This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life, and instead…. She still couldn't believe it.. A few hours ago, her Appa had been there with her, and now… he is gone…. Dead.

Devastation overwhelms her.

She tries to remember that this wasn't the first, nor the second time that she's been through this, but, all she remembers is the sound of his body against the floor, the absence of his breath, the emptiness left in the place of his heartbeats…. Appa… Appa… Appa…

Appa.

Anthony pulls her even closer to him, her sobs mixed with her calling for her father, hits him like punches in his chest, which beats out of step, in the presence of her pain, making his tears slip from his eyes.

Yet he settles her over his heart, so she can breathe, so she can have something to anchor her amidst her rue, to soothe her bewails, murmuring against the skin of her forehead. “It's alright, Katie. Cry all that you need, I am here to be the calm in your storm, as you were during mine. As always, my love…” He blurts out, in his eagerness to comfort her. Not that she noticed it, lost amid her shattering pain.

It makes him hug her even tighter, closing his eyes, murmuring. “It’s you and me, always, Kate. I will never leave you alone… Never!” He went on and on, with each breath, over and over, like a promise. "You will always have me by your side, my love.”

It doesn't take much longer for the doctor to leave the room and approach Her Grace and His Highness.

“A fulminating heart attack… There is no way to predict it, nor anything to be done.” The doctor explained to them.

Kate's crying only intensified and her body was shaking with the force of her anguish, Anthony does not believe that she would be standing, if he wasn't holding her.

He lifts her in his arms, carrying her to her bedroom, while his mother enters the corridor, probably to say that everyone has gone away, but, at seeing the state of Kate and Her Grace, she just goes to her, while he could hear His Highness's voice getting distanced from them, saying that a room had to be prepared for her.

Anthony helps Kate to undo her hair, to take off her slippers, and, her jewelry, but, she does not let him take the bangles off of her arms.

“He gave it to me, right before…. It belonged to Amma…” She murmured, crying again.

He settles them down on the bed, remembering of how much he'd clung to his father's pocket watch when he passed away, and, he just brings her wrists up to his lips, kissing them, as well as her bangles, grateful that she at least has that, he spends all night caressing them along with her.

In the days that followed, the proposal had been forgotten, as well as the celebration of her 18th birthday, and, time seemed suspended… the days were always the same, throwing them into a limbo, generated by grief and pain.

🦋

Anthony feared for her.

He had never seen her so devitalized like this, so.. lost… She was on the swing, in the old tree house, by the lake at Aubrey Hall, which his father had built in what it seems another life now, where so many times they played, careless of the world.

She was looking at the lake, without really seeing it.

She had never been so silent, he had never had such difficulty understanding what was going on with her.

“We should try it…” She says, quietly, out of the blue.

She, as always, had noticed him... He sits on the swing next to hers, asking, wanting to understand her. "What?"

“Playing the flute and the trumpet… Life is a breath, Anthony… Appa is gone, as your father… We never know when our last day will be, we have to live… we can't let the moment pass, we have to…” She said, rapidly, all that was gnawing her, ever since she'd lost her Appa, along with her opportunity to say goodbye, to say that she loved him, to…

Anthony listened to her, thinking about everything he felt, how much they had lost, and, how much he didn't want to waste another day, another moment, her words move him, and, he interrupts her, in a rush, saying out loud, for the first time, what his heart has been screaming at him for months. "Marry me, Kate."

She turns her head abruptly, staring at him in astonishment, with widen eyes and an open mouth.

Chapter Text

Anthony hangs from Kate's bedroom window, his hand almost slipping due to the sweat on his palms. Even after so long doing it, he was still nervous of being caught by one of the guards that her grandfather had hired.

He had decided to go back to India, tired of living in a land where he had suffered so much loss.

Kate usually laughed at his nervousness, asking him what would they make them do? Marry?

She had accepted his proposal, but, duo to the mourning period, they had to wait for them to make the engagement official.

Kate thought it was for the best, if he asks for her hand when the new season arrived, since she considered that her family would be more likely to accept it this way, instead of assuming, that because of their 'friendly' relationship, they would accept it at first. She believed that they would consider him more respectful by acting like this.

So, he had ordered a ring for her, (there was no way to explain him taking his mother's engagement ring from theirs safes, without exposing their engagement). And, he gave the new one as a 'belated birthday present', in case anyone asked about the ring, which Kate always wore, in a long chain, that inhabited her neck now.

The first few months were normal, or as normal as they could be, considering their grief, and, the absence of Mayan in their lives...

With Kate's grandfather deciding to leave for his homeland, Anthony found himself helping her, just as she had helped him, his family helping hers, just as hers had helped them.

And, it was their luck, because Mary withdrew within herself, in such a way, that even with Kate's grandfather leaving all their affairs in order, and, trusted people to help them, Kate had to take care of Edwina practically alone.

He had then gone to extend his visits further and further, helping her with the estate and with Edwina, the silent evenings, where they drank chai in front of the fireplace, soon became more intimate… As they shared with each other the burdens that the loss of their fathers had placed on their shoulders.

It didn't take long for the grasps of each other’s hands, for support, to become caresses, for their gazes to reflect other flames, besides those of the fireplace. It didn't take long for them to become even closer and closer, to the point where the air they breathed was mixing, and, for their lips to meet again in a kiss.

The kiss wasn't nearly as innocent as the first one they'd shared, it had been messy, full of yearning, and longing, filled with a thirst to love and be loved.

And… it did not took him very long, before he'd started to invade her bedroom. It was ridiculous that he, a viscount, (at two and twenty!), should have to do such a thing to visit his betrothed.

Upon hearing his huff, while entering the room, Kate, already familiar with his moods, just laughed, as she brushed her hair, in front of the dressing table, saying, in a teasing manner. “You know that you do not need to do this.. It's your choice to do it every night.”

“One would think, that like anyone in her position, she would be delighted by having her betrothed so dedicated into kissing her goodnight daily…” He grunts, stepping in and moving closer to her, to do exactly what he’d just said.

He entangles his hand in her hair, leaning her head back, as his forward, making their mouths meet in a flaring encounter.

The kiss is short but intense. Their tongues meet in a languid dance that excites them, taking their breaths away.

“You are a man, Anthony… You just wants to get between my legs.” She says, trying to regulate her breathing and refocus on her hair. She didn't know how much longer they would resist to this game of wanting and being wanted between them.

He proves her point, by preventing her from concentrating. As he lifts her up, sitting down in the stool, placing her in his lap then. He kisses the side of her neck, then licks it, moving up, until he reaches her ear lobe, nibbling it, and, whispering, ardently. “You're right… I want to get between your legs, because I am your man. And, I want everything with you.”

She looks at him, her mouth slightly open, feeling herself pant, as her eyes drifts to his mouth. She then places the brush on the dressing table, turning, straddling his lap, kissing him eagerly, their mouths moving in unison, the movement of his soft lips against hers, the meeting of her hot tongue with his, urging them on, and, he stands up, wrapping her legs around his waist,  carrying her to the bed.

He lays on top of her, his body pressed firmly over hers, as he let his hands run freely over her body, as she began grinding hers against his.

The kiss intensifies, their tongues intertwine, in a voracious and wet encounter, as she runs her hands through his hair and breathes hard against his mouth.

Both of them reveling in the cadence of their desire, in the meeting of their bodies.

Smiling, in the moments where they looked at each other, through the kisses that filled them with heat, awakening the passion between them.

As they allowed themselves to be more intimate with the other, the more they understood the pull that always existed between them, the yearning that seemed to never be fulfilled, why their proximity was never enough. It was because they needed to love the other with all of who they are.

They finally understood why their families did not wanted for them to be alone once they’d grown.

With each new day, they found it more and more difficult to resist the fire that exists between them, they didn't know when it had started, if it was in their first kiss, or in the nights that Kate stayed in Aubrey Hall, to help them, or when Anthony started to do the same, staying at her house, to ensure that she was not alone and well.

Perhaps, it was always there, smoldering latently throughout the years, growing along them, since it seemed to exist sparkles between them, between their skins, and, that the heat generated by them, fueled by the time, now ignited a fire, which seemed to spread with more and more force inside them.

A fire that was increasingly difficult to contain, threatening to consume them… such fire could only lead them to only one path.

Anthony let his tongue leave behind a wet trail on her skin, lavishing it with his kisses, drowning in her scent, that engulfed him, lingering on his skin, as she caressed him eagerly.

He kisses the interspace between her breasts, kissing her belly over the thin fabric of her white night gown, that showed too much, that hid too much, but, not enough from precluding him to feel the smell of her arousal, mingling with her scent of lilies. He feels his mouth watering, and, he buries his face on her belly, exhaling intensely.

Kate feels her panting increase, as she feels his hot breath over her, all inside of her is tingling, and, aching for him, but, they had no experience, they didn't know how to prevent Kate from becoming pregnant, if they went there, they didn't know if they would be able to resist, to stop.

So they never did more than kissing, even as their hands grew bolder and bolder.

So when he stops, even with everything inside her screaming for him, she pulls him up, and, he buries his face in her hair, which was tangled again, trying to normalize his breathing, grunting, while she hugged him by the shoulders, trying to normalize hers as well.

Kate says, then, witty. “You better propose officially to me, on the very first day of the season, with our entire wedding already planned.. or all of our plans will be for nothing, because if we do not marry soon, I will drag you to Gretna Green!''

He laughs, looking at her with gleaming eyes, saying amused. “As you wish, Princess Kathani!”

🦋

After waiting so long, that it seemed that the season would never arrive, finally… finally! It arrived.

Kate doesn't know the reason behind the flutter in the pit of her stomach, as she arrives at the Queen's Diamond Ball.

She'd given the ring back to Anthony last night, hoping he'd be the first to take her for a dance and that at the end of the dance, he'd return the ring to her, by proposing.

As a foreign Princess, she was used to having the attention on her, and, she knows that if her line was direct to the throne, she would never be able to marry Anthony, but, with her great-uncle being the Maharaja, it made it possible for them.

She hoped that with the fact that her Tatta had returned to India, and, for  still existing a need for a firm alliance with England, that this would make their union easier to be accepted, especially, as her Tatta knew Anthony so well.

Especially, since she is working along the Queen, in a project related to educate not only young girls, but, women as well. One of the reasons why the Queen is the one who will introduce her to society.

She had already sent him a letter, telling him of Anthony’s proposal, of her project, knowing that would take a few months for it to get there, and, a few more months for his reply to arrive.

Still, Kate supposed that was what was making her nervous.

Nevertheless, she does her best to contain her will to fidget, as the Queen introduces her to the Ton, as her incomparable.

Anthony sees Kate arrive in the ball and he is mesmerized to see her stunning beauty. No wonder, the Queen declares the Princess Kumari as her Diamond, and no wonder, it doesn't take long for him to see a line of suitors forming, seeking to ask her to dance.

He hurried on, cutting it off, winking at her, as he started to write his name on all the dances on her card, it is inappropriate, but, he didn't care.

He said, then. “Your Highness, would you do me the honor of dancing with me, in this lovely night?"

Kate nods, a bit amused, but, not quite understanding what he is doing.

And that's precisely what she asks, as they start to move, to the sound of the first chords. "What are you doing?"

“We agreed that we would do everything properly.” He says, as if that explains everything.

She snorts, how could his attitude be considered appropriate?

He continues to speak, as if she hadn’t snorted at all. “So, it is only proper that I court you.”

“What?!" She questions, disbelieved... That hadn't been their agreement, the season would start, and, he would promptly propose, that was their agreement! Kate thought that he did no wanted to wait any longer, just as her… What the fuck was going on with him?

"The woman I love deserves nothing less." He says, in a heartfelt manner, with unblinking eyes. Anthony hoped his eyes showed her what he carried to heart. He loves her too much to not give her everything, to risk her family not accepting their union.

The shock of his words causes her to step on his toes.

🦋

Kate not only hadn't said that she loved him back, but, she was behaving like the perfect Princess that she is, always polite, accepting his courtship, but, failing to receive him in her bedroom.

She'd told him that since he didn't proposed to her, she had to go to bed early, as she had a long line of suitors to attend to, in the early morning.

Anthony admitted only to himself that, he hadn't thought that by wanting to court her first and announcing their engagement only later, she would receive so much attention from other men.

He couldn't say if she didn't told him that she loves him because she is mad at him, for the situation he'd put her in, or, if it was because she was enjoying the attention and rethinking her prospects.

After all, Anthony, despite belonging to one of the Ton's most influential families, was still only a Viscount, and, he knows, that she has a duty to her country. Not to mention they've never got to talk about their romantic feelings towards each other, maybe she accepted his proposal in the spur of the moment… maybe…. Maybe she just saw him as a friend.

He needed to find a moment to talk to her alone, here at Gunter's, where they were crammed into a corner table, with several ears and eyes on them, was not the right place to be having a rational conversation. Especially, with him being completely lost in the sight of her licking her spoon…

He closes his eyes, sighing, determining to himself that tonight, at the Smythe-Smith soiree, they would talk…  this way, not only they will be able to have a proper conversation, as they will be able to escape from the infernal noise that those four made when they played.

Kate sees Anthony looking at Goddesses knows where, with a tomfool face, going on without speaking to her, making her feel at a loss of what…

They couldn't talk properly when he came to visit her, or when they went out on a promenade, because they were being chaperoned, and, now that they were, finally, sitting alone, at Gunter’s, or the most alone could they be… since Gunter's was beyond crowded this afternoon, but still…

He could try to tell her anything, they always understood each other, it's not like he needed to explain himself at length, if he just… told her.. give her… something … anything that could indicate the reason why he didn't act as they’d planned….

He'd told her it was because she's the woman he loves, but, then why had he stopped visiting her at night? It’s true… She'd closed the window in the first night, after the Diamond Ball, because she was angry, but, he didn't show up in any other night after, as he never brought up the subject afterwards, he didn't even invited her to the Smythe-Smith soirée this evening!

She decides to focus on her ice, taking it until the last drop, licking the spoon, preferring to focus on that instead of him, not supporting the silence and the distance between them... Could it be that he regretted proposing in the spur of such moment?

Could it be that the liberties she allowed him to take, had showed him that he doesn't want to go further with her, and, is he acting like this, talking like this, so as to not hurt her feelings? To try to get her interested in someone else, so that he could then say that if she was interested in someone else, he accepted it… suggesting that they should continue just as friends, just as before?

Did the fact that once they marry, he would become a Duke, and, most likely, serve as a diplomat between the countries, scare him? Or was the fact that Ben would become a Marquess, Col an Earl and Greggy a Viscount, due to their relationship with a Royal family? This making him think about how much they could have gotten rid of bearing such titles and responsibilities, and now, thanks to their union, they will have to, regardless? Was that what made him act like this, throwing her into the arms of other suitors?

He hadn't even asked her out for a promenade after Gunter's… They always went for a walk in Hyde Park after going there!

Instead, she finds herself in the company of Thomas Dorset, who had promptly offered to take her around the Serpentine, as soon as she got there, who had wasted no time in inviting her to the soirée of this evening.

It breaks her heart… that it is him by her side, and, not Anthony.

So much so, that she just does not want to think about it… she just wants to forget, even if it is for just one night, that it might not be a Kate and Anthony in the future, that it could just be her.

🦋

When they find themselves seated at the back of the ballroom, of the infamous quartet's home, with her seated distanced from him, flanked by Thomas Dorset, a colleague from his Oxford days, Anthony does his best to contain himself.

They always went together to Hyde Park after going to Gunter's, they always came to the Smythe-Smith soirée together, distracting each other from the noises that came out of their strings, which were more like fingernails scraping against a blackboard…. However, she had walked away from him then. And now, she'd arrived accompanied by Dorset... It seemed that now she would only give him the air of her grace if he invited her!! It's unbearable.

The sight of them together disturbes him deeply and makes him question why he'd thought it would be more romantic and appropriate to court her, since it was another one who whispered in her ear and the worst: she laughed! Kate was laughing at whatever rubbish that Dorset was whispering in her ear, as he leaned in farther than necessary to do so, what a son of a bitch...

But, at that moment, Kate gets up, excusing herself, probably pretending that she needed to go to the bathroom, an old trick of them… Anthony doesn’t even make up an excuse, he just gets up, as discreetly as he can, and, follows her.

Kate doesn't even listen to whatever Mr. Dorset was telling her, laughing politely, she was felling devastated since Anthony had coldly greeted her, going to sit far away from her, shortly after her arrival.

Having to endure the screeches of the violins and cellos, without his company, was beyond unbearable, everything was colorless, dull, without him by her side.

She doesn't understand how they've got to this point so fast, they were supposed to be friends, they should be able to talk and to understand each other, but, that wasn't happening anymore, for some reason that she still didn't comprehend, and, at listening to one more note, disharmoniously, out of tune with the others, she tells Mr. Dorset that she needs to go to the ladies room, and, excuses herself.

Anthony finds her in the hallway, heading to the terrace, but, he takes her by the waist, placing his hands over her mouth, leading her into a room, which seems to be the study of the house. Anthony thinks that it is a great place for them to talk, but, then, he barely has time to pull them under the table, as someone else had the same idea.

Anthony, in fact, was not in his best moment, he thought that nobody would go to a study during a soirée, but, he was wrong, completely wrong. And now, he and Kate were under the table, even more cramped and unable to talk than they had been in the afternoon. Fuck!

Anthony is trying to stay quiet, until the couple who came in, to discuss their relationship, got out, while praying for them to not see them.. Auch! He looks at her dumbfounded, did Kate just bit his hand?!

She glares at him, then down at his hand and back at him, and, he understands that she wants for him to take his hand away from her mouth, that he'd kept there all this time, with the whole situation unfolding before them.

He withdraws his hand then, embarrassed, realizing that he had made her vexed with him. Fuck, his plans were going from bad to worse.

Especially as they heard a female voice speak, after the man's flattery had done nothing to assuage her anger. “I've told you to be careful, I've told you that I was a virgin in my vagina!”

Kate and Anthony look at each other, not knowing what to make of what they've just heard. Anthony, knowing well the look in Kate's mirth-filled eyes, covers her mouth once more, just in time, as she begins to chuckle, at the man's response.

“I hardly doubt that the problem was that you were a virgin in your vagina…”

“Oh… yes… the problem was that you did not pull your… your… thing, out of me!” The woman said, sounding utterly dismayed.

“Well… I did not…. I told you that would be hard to do…” He explained himself, consternated.

“You certainly did not had any kind of problems in bearing the… other hard thing, did you?” She said, with venom.

“Stop… this is the doing of us both. Now… will you marry me or will you get rid of the…?” He questioned, awkwardly.

“And to marry a man that will not take care of me, and, will make me pregnant, God only knows how many times? Absolutely not…! Do not speak again with me, My Lord. Adieu.” She said, vexed.

And they could hear the door being slammed, followed by an even louder slam moments later.

They are stunned in place, not knowing how to react to the dramatic conversation they've overheard.

Kate, however, doesn't take long to look at him, with a murderous look again, and, he removes his hand quickly, knowing that she would bite him again, if he didn’t do it.

So, they try to get up at the same time, and, she ends up getting elbowed by him, and, he, in his haste to assure her that she was okay, ends up hitting his head on the top of the table.

Kate was going to get some air, only to have a hand clasped over her mouth, and, to found herself being dragged into a dark study, where only the firelight existed, tinting its walls into orange.

She barely has the time to realize it was Anthony with her, or to take in her surroundings, before she has him pushing her under the large mahogany table, his hand clasping over her mouth, when they hear a couple enter the room.

She bites him, her fury preventing her from containing herself, and, not even the preposterous conversation, that makes her laugh, is enough to placate her, even more so when he hits her with his elbow on her shoulder. She doesn't even notice the twinge of pain, focusing instead on getting out from under the table, dragging herself across the cold floor, praying for it don't get her dress dirty, at the same time she hears a pang, and, Anthony exclaiming an 'Ah!', assuming he'd hit himself! What the fuck was going on with him?

Kate comes out from under the table, fuming, shouting in exasperation. “What the fuck you think you are doing?!”

“Hush, Kate…. You cannot shout! Someone will hear us!” Anthony says, while going to lock the study's black door.

“No one's going to hear us over the hellish sound that those four make! Besides, what's the problem with them finding us, you having to marry me?!” She exclaims, in a slightly lower tone, but still, equally vexed.

Anthony is still near the door, stunned in place, stunned by what he's just heard. He splutters, completely lost on how they've got to this point. “I just wanted to talk to you alone…”

"For what? To tell me you changed your mind?” She asks, turning her back on him, going to look out the window, seeing the lanterns lit among the mazes of the garden, illuminating them, but, not their paths… she feels as if it externalizes her sense of being lost.

She just… didn't understand what made him not propose. He says that he wanted to do everything properly, so that her Tatta would give his permission, but, Anthony knows that she'd sent a letter to her Tatta regarding the proposal, what would he think, if he gave permission to a proposal that had not been made?

Had Anthony been upset with her handing the ring back to him? Or… unlike what she had previously thought, did he propose on the spur of the moment, and, he just went ahead with the engagement, due to the liberties that were taken between them? She wonders it, after the conversation that she just had heard….

Is he doing this only because he is her friend and a gentleman, but, in reality he wants a way out? And, the way he'd found of not hurting her, or exposing her, it was by just courting her, in the hope that she would choose another suitor, and so, he could withdraw his proposal.. It was it? What had made him change his mind? What had made him change his plans? That was all that she could think about…

But, that still didn't explain why he had said he loved her… did he do it as a friend, or, did he just say it so as to not to upset her with his choice of attitude? Fearing to lose her friendship? Kate doesn't know... All she knows it’s that she has snapped just now, and… that she didn't mean to, but...

She feels more stupid than the girl who had entered the study, because she may not have allowed Anthony to enter her body, but, she had allowed him to enter her heart. She is irrevocably in love with him, and, he... said he loved her, but, he is acting like… like… Why… Why… "Why have you done this…?’’ She then asks him, turning to him.

Anthony looks at her, he sees her turn away from him, and, it hurts him.. The ideia of her abandoning him in her heart… That it might not exist an Anthony and Kate in the future…

He does not have the words to describe what would mean to him to lose her, he knows himself through her eyes, that shows him how much he loves tenacity, he knows himself through her hands, that shows him how much he loves to act, he knows himself through her mind, that shows him how to believe in a brighter tomorrow, he knows himself through her heart, that shows him how much he loves her.. That there is no else for him. If he looses her, he will be losing himself.

Then, she turns around, and, her question hangs over him like a blade. He feels that if he answers to it wrongly, he might lose her. “I've told you… to do it properly, so your family…” He begins, frowning, still feeling at a loss of what….

“To do it properly? With me having already sent a letter to my Tatta? By you compromising me, in this soirée… is this how you plan ensure the trust and permission you already had, by spoiling it?” She questions him, pointing out his absurd and illogical behavior.

“Well… You did not said that you loved me back… You are turning your attentions to other suitors… You did not even went to Hyde Park with me after Gunter’s! I needed to talk to you, to know if you are still interested in this marriage!” He tries to explain why he wanted to be alone with her.

Kate felt her heart sink in her chest, as she saw the direction he was taking the conversation. Could her suspicions be right? “Do not try to put the blame of your decisions on me! No one else receives from me the same amount of attention as you… You are the one who did not invited me to promenade at Hyde Park. Besides, you would not need to do this, if you had proposed! What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Since when have I needed to invite you to a promenade? ‘Besides’, I’ve already explained that you, again and again, but, you still… so excuse me for feeling unsure, if the woman I love, keeps ignoring the fact that I've said that I love her and won't say that she loves me back.” He shouts, starting to pace back and forth, nervous that they couldn't understand each other, this wasn't them. They could bicker, but, they always understood each other.

“Well, excuse ME, if I feel uncertain, for the man that I love says so… He says that he wants to marry me, and then, instead of making things official…. he chooses to court me, making room for other men to court me as well. How can I know that you didn't propose just as a friend, on the spur of the moment, after seeing me so down? How can I know that you do not regret proposing to me? That you are not courting me properly, in a  hope to see if I don't find someone else and end up giving up of our engagement?” There, she had said it out loud, feeling her eyes swell up with tears, that chokes her throat.

She turns back to the window, not wanting to see the truth in his eyes, trying to keep hers from crying, biting her lips trying to contain herself.

Losing him…. She does not even remember of a time of her life where he was not there. She does not know who she is without him.. To lose him, it is the same of losing herself. There is not a Kate without her Anthony… The mere ideia…. It’s insupportable, unbearable… unimaginable. The pain is searing, it tears her apart, it makes her brace herself tightly.

Why? Why can’t he love her as she loves him? That’s all that she wants to do, she just wants to love him.

Anthony watches her, feeling his mouth agape, feeling his heart pounding against his chest. She loved him... she loved him and... she thought he didn't love her, how? How… “What… do you love me?” He questions, moving to her side, bringing his face close to hers.

She rolls her eyes, stopping herself at the last moment from calling him silly, but, she cannot prevent herself from confessing, passionately, despite him not explaining himself. “Of course… of all that I've said, that would be what you would pay attention to. Of course I love you! I've loved you since I was four years old. Since the first time I saw you, at every night that we read horror stories, and, at every time we’ve laughed together, and, that we've cried together. At every race, at every dance, when we were together or apart... There is no one else for me. Anthony, no one…”

She loves him! Anthony felt like he was among the clouds! But, he couldn't let her doubt his love, he could not stand the pain in her eyes, so, he wraps her in his arms, pressing his face to the side of hers, saying with devotion. “I've loved you since I was seven, Kate. Since I've looked into your eyes, all I wanted to do was to love you, you are the calm in my storm, my person, my… you are the reason for my joy, you are all the matters, for nothing else does when you are not by my side. I love you, I never wanted like how I want you, Kate.”

Kate listens to each of his words that escape from his lips, and, fall into her ears and invades her heart, which flutters with precipitation. Her soul dances in celebration, vibrating, and, crying out for…

“Kate… you are my peace… as your eyes, your smile, this scent of lilies that you have, that makes me…” Anthony allows his nose to wander over her skin, as his throat to express everything she caused within him, from his grunts, from the sound of his heated breaths, to his words. “You make me dream, you make me act, you make me grow, you make me so happy that… what exists between us, is everything I didn't even dared to imagine. I love you, I love loving you, I love your laughter, your irreverence, your obstinacy... how you make me believe and how you drive me mad with this way of yours of challenging me. My soul calls for yours, Kate… It has been calling for you since the first moment and…”

He let one of his hands go up on her back, and, getting circumvent on her neck, tangling in her hair, feeling her breath heaving on her chest, feeling it intensify, in the same emotion as him. He had never felt this connected to anyone before, all he wants is… "I don't want to escape… I just thought that I was doing right by you, I never wanted to hurt you, or for you to get involved with another men. How could I, if every time I look at you, all I want it's to mix my breath with yours? All I want it's to spend my life by your side, feeling your heartbeat along mine, as we live a life that suits us both.”

Kate feels her doubts fall to the ground, and, her legs threatening to go towards the same fate, because his words... They hit her squarely, as her heart, and, she feels herself trembling with the power of her emotions, of this longing, of the love that ran through her being... All she wants... all she can think, feel... is him, is his breath close to hers, hovering over her skin, is the ceasing of the time existence, as his heat invades her, and, spreads through her interior, as well as the fierce joy at the confirmation of his love. He loves her! He loves her as she loves him!!

She turned her face to look at him, feeling melt, he is a silly man, but, he  is her silly man, a man who loved her, and, whom she loved in equal measure.

She lunges forward, throwing her arms around his shoulders, and, kisses him.

The kiss is... everything they once dreamed it could be, it's sweet, it's intense, it's full of passion, it's full of love.

They surrender to it, at the meeting of their lips, their bodies, their souls, their hearts beat fast, and joyfully, in their chests, as they opened their mouths, closing their eyes, intertwining their bodies in a tight embrace,  as their tongues danced in harmony, filling them with pleasure, with certainty.

They could be young, they could still not have the wisdom that the years brought, for them to know how to deal with life, but, they loved each other, and, that it's enough. Their love made them find each other, understand each other, and, love each other more and more. It was just what they always wanted.

They just wanted to love one another, more and more, at each new dawn.

When their kiss is over, they rest their foreheads against each other, their eyes opening at the same time, and, locking, in a loving gaze.

“Marry me." He says, against her mouth, stroking her cheek, looking at her in fascination.

"Well... I can't tell my family that you proposed to me, at the Smythe-Smith's study, can I?" She says, with a smile, teasing him.

“Ugh… You're still aggravating!” He replies, with a huge smile, knowing that there wouldn't be a dull day with her by his side.

“Hm… we're even then, because I still think you're quite vexing.” She says, her eyes shining with adoration, knowing that there won't be a day where he would not test her patience, but, as long as he says that he loves her, she knows that she won't mind, not a one single bit.

"I love you." He says, bringing her to him, placing his hand on her arms, bumping his nose on hers.

Yes... She knows she will love him more and more, at each new day, at each new moment, with all of her, saying it with equal passion. "I love you."

They go back to kissing... The fire burns even more ardently between them, and, they break apart, panting, with Anthony saying. “I might have officially proposed, but even so, we cannot go further, Katie. There is no way for me to be able to pull out, once I find myself inside of you.”

She chuckles. “I don't doubt it, Tony. There is no way for me to want you out of me, once I have you all inside me.” She says eagerly, delighting to see him grunt and close his eyes at the idea.

“You are a siren… My siren.” He says, and then, he removes the necklace, with the ring, from his pocket, and, at seeing the surprise in Kate's eyes, he explains. “I've been carrying it with me, waiting for the right moment…. Kate?”

She starts crying, saying, between sobs. ''I am so sorry that I doubt you, Tony... I am so so sorry.”

“Hey… I doubted too… And, if anything… I should be the one apologizing, since I was the one who generated these doubts between us, when I acted differently than we’ve agreed on, without having consulted you. But, I didn't think about the other suitors, I didn't think you would get hurt, I just wanted to surprise you, and, not give any reason to your grandfather to say no to the proposal…” He says, wiping her tears away.

“If only I had talked to you instead of….” She says, regretfully.

He lifts her chin with the tips of his fingers, tenderly. “We are young… We do not know everything yet, I don’t think that one day we will ever know it all… I did not communicated as well, and, we both were filled with doubts and we both did not acted in our brightest… “ He smiles then, before continuing on. “I think it just proves how much we love each other… After all, they say that acting foolishly is the symbol of truly passionate lovers.”

She smiles, completely besotted, yes… she is silly too.

May they be two fools in love then, she thinks, feeling that old familiar warmth spread inside her, lighting her up and illuminating her all over.

She puts her hands around his neck, intertwining them and pulling him to her softly. “Do you swear, that no matter what, we will always love each other like this, we will always go towards each other, no matter how angry we are? That we will go through life hand in hand?”

His smile widens, his eyes gleam passionately, and, he says, with emotion. “I swear, Katie…” Then he puts the chain, with the ring, around her neck, adding. “May this be a token of my love, of my commitment, of my fidelity, of my unyielding devotion to you.”

She removes one of her hands from his neck, taking his hand, touching his pinky with hers, as they used to do as children.

He smiles, showing his dimple, while his eyes gleamed.

And she told him. “You know… In a Hindu wedding ceremony, the man and woman intertwine their little fingers, walking around the fire, as they recite their vows….”

Anthony knew, he had been studying wedding ceremonies, and planning one that would blend their cultures, ever since she had told him to, even if it was just as a joke. Even so, he just nodded, too lost in her loving gaze to say something.

Now it's Kate who gets emotional, saying in a choked voice, as she intertwines theirs pinkies. “May this be my vow… You are my best friend, my only love, my most loyal well wisher. You are the calm in my storm. You came into my life and you enriched every moment, either when we were together or apart. May the Gods and Goddesses bless you, our union, our children. I will cherish and love you. I will honor and trust you. Your happiness will be my happiness, as your sadness. Together, we will share a lifetime, and, I vow to be your courage and strength, as we walk through this life, together.”

Anthony knew that he loved her, he knew that her sweetness it’s so precious and endearing to him, but, even if he did not knew it, even if he did not loved her, in this moment, he would have fallen for her, he would've known all that he ever needed to know about her. It is her. There is no one else, there could never be someone else, but Kate.

His love is hers. Irrevocably.

A love that roars ferociously in his chest, that courses through his veins, filling him with certainty, it makes him kiss her, praying that the kiss will tell her that he vows the same, as he poured all that he felt in the kiss.

The most lingering and sweeping kiss that Kate ever received in her life, a kiss that she would always remember of, as well, as how it had made her feel, filling her with joy, love, passion, surrender, security, belonging. There's no one else she wants to spend her life with, but him.

Anthony. Her great love.

If she did not loved him already, she would love him now, always… For no one ever made her feel like she belonged, like she is meant to be, that she is meant to be with him. In his arms, she finds herself, and, the true meaning of the word love.

In his kiss… she is lost… And, she does not want for nothing else, but, to know of him.

She does not need nothing else, other than be right here, right now, loving him, being loved by him. And, she thinks that he is feeling the same, because, he is purring, satisfied, in her ear.

This makes her tilts her head to the side, looking at him, with inquiring eyes.

“I breathed you scent once again, my love. All is right in my world now.”  He answers, devotedly.

This makes the smile, which has not left her face, since he'd declared himself, widen, and, her to look at him with that mischievous look, that had made him fall in love with her, making him give her that captivating smile, that had made her fall in love with him.

“Well… Those four are going to play for a while yet… maybe we could wear this opportunity, to make up for the lost time?” She suggests, beaming.

He laughs, triumphantly, before leaning forward, for another rampant kiss.

Chapter Text

The next ball they go to, at the night of the following day, he, once again, signs his name to all her dances.

She is the one who winks at him then.

They were basking in their love, completely filled with joy, found in a world of their own. They dance, and dance, and laugh, and walk around the room, with him whispering in her ear and making her laugh louder and louder.

Their happiness was undisguised, bursting out of them.

It's on everyone's lips, at the next day, how the Viscount had won over the Indian's Princess heart.

All eyes are on them, wherever they go.

When they go to an art exposition, at being faced with such scrutiny, they can do nothing else except to act appropriately, but, even so, they enjoy themselves, teasing each other, letting their hands meet behind a sculpture, letting their gazes lock for a long time, smiling at each other whenever their eyes met.

Then, the time for the afternoon tea arrives, and, they head over to Anthony's house.

Arriving there, everyone goes to the drawing room, but, Anthony, after a whole afternoon being denied his proximity to Kate, takes them to the private gardens.

The family is so entertained by talking animatedly, while having tea, that they don't even notice them escaping, the years of friendship, giving them that privilege, since they all were already used to them doing that.

Kate and Anthony strolled a bit, barely noticing the green abundance around them, or the sun turning orange in the sky, or the scent of flowers, they just had eyes for each other. Walking side by side, in silence, smiling and bumping lightly onto each other.

They reach the gazebo, the pink and lilacs wisteria fall from its ceiling, and, the wind intensifies at the moment they step on it, releasing several of its petals.

This Kate notices and she looks around in delight, twirling and leaping, giggling, that is one of the reasons why she loved the nature so much, for it seemed to be touched by magic.

Anthony watches her fascinated, feeling a smile spread on his face. Good God, he loves her, he feels his soul crying out for her, with a ferocity that he only knew in her presence, he wants to discover what it will be like to wake up with her, to share his days, his nights… to be always with her, having moments like this in all of his days. He knows there won't be a dull day with her, since Kate never missed an opportunity to be happy and to pull him into that magic that was hers alone.

When she turns to look at him happily, pulling him to jump and twirl with her, he goes gladly, laughing.

And, at seeing her beam, reminding him so much of the girl she was, wild and care free, he wants to be one with his love, with her, and, he bursts out, once again. “Marry me."

Two words, 7 letters, and, all the meaning of the world behind them, all his love, all his devotion, all his desire, his passion, everything he couldn't say with words, but, that his body, his voice, his gaze said.

“I've told you before, that all that you needed to do was to ask me in public.” She replies, happily, and a bit playful. Even her eyes were smiling at that moment, wrinkling at its cornes.

He approaches her, as if he is going to kiss her, but then, he takes the chain from around her neck. Feeling his heart pound in his ears, as he kneels in front of her. "Everyone knows we're in love, your grandfather already sent his approval." He says, referring to the letter they had received in the previous morning from him.

He then goes on to say, with devotion, as her eyes filled with tears, overflowing with love. "Our families approve, who would doubt that I asked you in front of them? Do you want to build a life with me?"

She looks at him filled with emotion, filled with love, she is in bliss, since he confessed his love to her the other night. It felt like she was walking on air all the time.

She knew it was him, from that first instant and now her certainty only grows. There is no more space for childish plays, now it’s time to make things oficial between them. So, she nods, having to contain herself from bouncing, before saying, jubilantly. “Yes, for countless times, yes.”

He then slides the beautiful ring, with a gigantic ruby at its center, which he knew to be her favorite stone, on her finger, and, it fits perfectly.

When he gets up, going to kiss her, she says, in amusement. "You know that wont be a day that I won’t make you chase after me, don't you?"

"It's that a promise, Kathani Sharma?" He asks, looking at her adoringly, with a smile so big, that it shows his dimple, his body relaxing completely, now that she had officially accepted his proposal.

"Yes, it is… it is a promise!” She says, with her eyes shining in the same emotion.

Kate’s love is overflowing within her, and, here and now, she wonders if she had ever tasted true happiness before. Kate wishes that they could live in this moment forever.

Then, they go to the other at the same time, their bodies almost colliding, with the intensity of the hunger they have for each other, they had already lost count of how many times they had kissed, but, each time was especial, unique.

The kiss lingers on their lips, as he lifts her, and, spins her around, with the petals surrounding them in the air, with her giggling against his lips.

She embraces him with joy, wanting him as close as she can have him, wanting to pull him inside her, wanting him under her skin. Wanting all of him. Kate is feeling the fire being ignited with all its power, strength, desire and passion within her.

It was the way they teased each other, one nibbling, the other licking, their tongues lazily exploring the heat of the other's mouth, their bodies fitting together so perfectly, that they seemed to have been made for each other. Nothing felt more right than being in each other's arms. They felt as if they belonged, and, it filled them with fullness and completeness.

Then, the air charged, becoming scorching, inciting them further.

Anthony feels all that it is not Kate abandoning him. He gazes her smolderingly, as he lifted the skirt of her lavender lehenga, letting his finger slide into her undergarment.

Despite the intimacy they shared, they had never gone this far.

Anthony and Kate had read the Kama Sutra together, revisiting the book that had shocked them once, when they were teenagers.

Since then, Anthony's mind had been filled with ideas, ideas he'd only wanted to put into practice with her, and now, with his ring on her finger, he could. They certainly still couldn't go all the way, but, he could let his fingers slip through her wet folds and… Fuck… How many nights had he touched himself, imagining the heat she would have inside her, and now… he felt it, wrapping around his finger, coating him, as she clenched.

And the way Kate clings to his shoulder, throwing her head back in ecstasy, he feels his mouth slightly opening, seeking for air, while he narrowed his eyes, lost in the pleasure of the moment, in her, in her moans, in the fantasy of having her clenching this hard around his cock.

He feels their breaths mixing. And, he is torn between letting his fingers go deeper, or bringing them to his mouth.. He wants, he needs to taste her, so… he uses the hand that held her lehenga, to slide along the length of her spine, until he reached her neck, holding it, while he put his tongue inside her mouth with ardor.

Kate shivers with his caresses, a heat like she has never felt takes over her body, a heat that hits her like waves, rising from her center, spreading to all of her, flooding her with pleasure.

The flames of their passion intensify, threatening to consume them completely.

She moans when she feels his tongue invade her mouth, at the same time that one more finger slides inside her, it was different to have his fingers filling her, instead of hers. She had lost count of how many moments she had fantasized about this moment, of what it would be like to have him inside her… If his fingers felt like this, she could only imagine how his cock would feel…

Kate slides her hands through his hair, cradling his head, pulling him to her, quenching her thirst with the nectar of his mouth. She lifts one leg, elevating it to the height of his hip, feeling his firmness pressed against her.

When Anthony slides the hand that was on her neck to her buttock, she grinds against his body, surrendering to the pleasure of having him sliding his warm tongue against the skin of her throat, he nibbles where her neck met her shoulder, and, she never felt him so close to her, lost in a ecstatic hazy.

Anthony feels the flames of desire burn through his body, as Kate grinds her center against his cock, his thoughts turns clouded, and, he knows that he won't be able to stop the fire from consuming him for much longer, so he takes his fingers from inside her, turning her and pressing her, urgently, and with avidity, against his chest.

When he emptied her, separating them, she clenches, aching for him. She feels her chest heaving, and, she wants to protest, but, Anthony turns her around, starting to undo the buttons of her lehenga.

Both had given in to the fire that burned between them, not caring that it was the middle of the afternoon and that anyone could pass by them.

He made the fabric slide down her legs, leaving her in just her choli and undergarment. Anthony licked at her ear lobe, teasing her, he then trailed his kisses down the side of her neck.

Kate couldn't stand it, she craves him in a way that makes her wonder if she had ever desired before. She turns and kisses him once again. She does not feel that she can resist anymore.

He pulled her legs around his waist, pressing her center against his cock, one of his hands was on her waist, the other supporting her buttocks, and… the way she bucked her hips forward… The way she moaned into his mouth, maddened him, consumed him. He let his hand run loose over her body, roaming her skin hungrily, reveling in the taste of her, in the way her body responded to his.

Anthony let his hand press the curve of her buttocks, then run along the side of her torso, reaching her breasts. How many times had he felt them pressed against his chest, making it even more difficult for him to resist her temptation, to the allure that she exerted over him….? Now… He does not want to rest any longer.

Anthony then lets his tongue taste the heat of her skin, until it reaches her breasts, still covered by the satin fabric, nibbling the part that was exposed by her top.

Kate is lost, Kate is found, in the heat of his wet tongue trailing over her skin, her throat its making incoherent sounds, she buckles her hips forward, grinding, needing, wanting, more.. so much more, all.

She lets out a small sound, filled with feminine satisfaction, and, that's all it takes for Anthony to give in for good. He sets her legs down and he drops at her feet, taking off his jacket and shirt, as she kisses him, he then looks at her, and, with his gaze locked in hers, he slides the undergarment down her hips, kissing each new inch of skin, leaving her naked from the waist down.

Fuck, Anthony couldn't believe in what they were doing, but, there he is, looking at her, being at the feet of his siren, her wet folds are at his touch's grasp, his mouth waters, he cannot blink, he looks at her, as if asking for permission, for the confirmation that he could act on his fantasies and taste her.

When she just comes forward, as if she is offering herself to him, he loses himself, he lunges his head forward, allowing himself to taste her nectar with a relentless voracity.

His movements are sloppy, as he tries to perceive between her moans, and, the sounds of him sucking her, what makes her moan, what pleases her, but, he is too lost in her warm sea, in her scent, in her taste.

She feels his stubble, his breath, the heat of his tongue, his groans reverberating against her center, and, it’s a feast for her senses, she can only feel, with growing delight, the fiery pleasure.

He tastes her, sipping, licking, sucking, when he presses his mouth on her clit.. Fuck.. Kate feels melted, and, her insides tingling. She shudders, she holds on to his shoulders, trying to sustain her standing the position, feeling that her legs will give in to the pleasure along her.

Anthony can tell by the way she shivers in his arms, the way that she clings to his shoulders, that she is becoming overwhelmed by the sensations. He wants her surrendered to the pleasure, it was true, but, the idea of her falling and getting hurt was unthinkable to him, so Anthony gives a kiss over her sweet cunt and pulls away from her.

He takes a pillow that was on the stone bench, as well as a velvety blanket that was there, spreading it on the floor, so that she could lie down.

Kate feels something vibrate warm inside her, something that goes far beyond desire, her love was burning brightly inside her... This... this sweetness, this attentive and careful way of his, was what had made him irresistible to her from the very first moment.

She smiles, a smile that only grows when he kisses her inner thigh, as he guides her to settle down on the pillow and blanket. Her love, and, her yearn to love him growing even more.

Their gaze lock, and, they tell the other about their love, and, a million words more, that they did not needed to say, because, as always, their eyes told them everything.

She pulls him to her, his face glistening from what he was doing, this stirs her further, and, she stretches her neck, bringing him for a burning kiss, which only intensified with his hands returning to roam over her body, until they stopped at the side of her hip.

Kate looked at him, as she had never looked at him before, with a pure adoration, and, when she started to kiss the length of his neck, going down his chest, nipping his nipples. Anthony felt something vibrate inside him, something so beyond passion, a love and a ferocious devotion that only she awakened in him, with that provocative, and at the same time, sweet way of hers.

When she starts to unbutton his pants, Anthony knows that if she touches his cock, he'll get lost in her for good, and, forget of himself even, so, he intertwines his hands in hers, and, brings them up, kissing her with voluptuousness, laying her back on the pillow, going back to kissing her whole body, until he found himself back at home...

God, he'd never imagined that she could taste so good, smell even more wonderfully here, but, she did, and, he wanted to stay between her legs forever.

He takes his time now, as he sucks her lips, her clit, slides his tongue through her folds, until entering her hot interior, which clenched around his tongue, as he rhythmically penetrated her.

He realizes that, as he flicked his tongue, vibrating and pressing on her clit, she was gripping his hair, pressing her thighs around him, moaning over and over. So he intensifies his movements, adding his fingers to the mix, letting them slide inside her, exploring what makes her give more and more of those wonderful moans.

And that's when he found it, a wonderful spot inside her, that made her cry out in pleasure, to the point of bathing him with it. My goodness, the way she bucked her hips and rubbed herself in his face, Anthony feels like he's a teenager again, feeling himself coming in his trousers, without even touching himself. The feeling of having her in ecstasy, in his arms, being too much for him to resist.

Kate… forgets, of herself, her name, of the whole world. Time ceased exiting, and, she became pure sensation, savoring the waves of pleasure, that washes over her, taking her under an explosive ecstasy.

All she knows is Anthony, his tongue, his fingers, and, the scorching heat, that concentrates in a spot inside of her, and, spreads through all of her, taking her breath away, as her whole body shuddered under the shattering pleasure.

Kate does not even know if she had screamed or not, clasping his hand, that he had intwined with hers, as she peaked, trying to make her mind work again. She had experienced the nirvana, that was the only way to explain the elation he had given her with his mouth, she was panting, feeling her body still tingling with pleasure, and, her heart beating wildly in her chest, as he placed hot kisses over her skin.

Anthony kisses her clit one more time, before kissing his way up, through the length of her torso, until he reaches her mouth. He is fascinated by her body, and, all that her and her pleasure caused within him.

As he lies over her, pressing his enormity against her center, bathed in her pleasure, she grips him, kissing him languidly and ardently, letting her tongue dance with his, her taste mingled with his, and, she lifts her hips, moaning in his mouth, feeling even more aroused than before. Kate wants more… knowing that she provoked such reactions in him spurred her on.

She slides one of her hands down his back, while the other she slides to caress him over his pants, using her legs to bring him closer to her, grinding her body against his, in a delicious friction, wanting him all over her, even more so, when he moans in her mouth, pressing his pelvis against hers. Fuck… his cock rubbing against her center, if in his pants it already felt so good….

Anthony wants to surrender to her fire, and, let it burn him completely, consuming him, and, making him hers, irrevocably. When she touches his cock for the first time… Fuck! If it already feels like this, he cannot even imagine how it will be like to slide to the brim inside her.

He leans his hips forward… fuck the wedding that he has been planning since that night, if they will have to go straight to Gretna Green afterwards this, so be it, he wants to go to his home, and, to stay there.

Kate starts to open his pants, and, he yields…

“ANTHONY!” “KATE!” They hear their mothers scream in the distance.

Fuck! Kate thinks.

She and Anthony look at each other with wide eyes.

Holy shit! Anthony thinks.

Good thing his body was on top of hers, covering her!

🦋

They are sitting in the drawing room, on the settee, side by side, their nervous knees bumping constantly due to the restless state they were in, their mothers said nothing, just looking at them, and then, at their cups of tea, which were getting cold by the minute.

Kate bit her lip.

As Anthony pressed his in a thin line. This was ridiculous, he thought.

“We were celebrating our engagement… Engagement that you should already expect. Since Tatta has already sent his letter approving our union.” Kate started to explain, not taking their silence any longer.

They should expect everything else too, Anthony thought. They were 22 and 19, how much longer should they wait?!

“And, this… this… should justify you both… you both…” Violet tried to exclaimed, consternated.

“Fornicating?” Mary suggested, with a sour tone and expression.

“Yes! No!…. I mean…. Yes!” Violet exclaimed in dismay.

Kate buried her face on the side of Anthony's neck, trying not to laugh.

As he muttered under his breath. “Fornicating… fornicating. Unfuckingbelievable! Kate… this is not the time to laugh!”

“Are you laughing, Kathani?” Mary inquired, sternly.

Kate straightened up, immediately, and, cleared her throat, while tilting her head.

As Anthony said, stressed. “Of course not! She's mortified by the suggestion that we were fornicating, when the main reason that it took us this long to make our engagement official was precisely for us to do it properly!”

“Properly? You call what we just saw properly….? You were naked!” Violet continued to exclaim, scandalized.

“We weren't entirely undressed.” Kate interjected, haughtily.

“You just mean you were having sex with clothes.” Mary said, raising a knowing eyebrow at her.

Violet gawked at her, Anthony tensed his jawline, and, Kate got flustered.

Anthony was the one who cleared his throat now, and then, he said, trying to put an end to this preposterous conversation. "Well, like I've said, we are engaged and getting married, so, I don't see the point of such fuss if..."

“Kathani could be pregnant, and, you don't see why we've made such fuss?” Mary inquired, coldly.

“Not to mention that you were in the middle of the garden, during the afternoon! Anyone could pass by and see…” Violet immediately added.

Needless to say, that their families couldn't believe they hadn't gone all the way through.

They were to be wedded in three days.

They were lucky that Kate's grandfather wasn't there, or else the story could have ended differently, but, by the time the news of their hasty wedding reached him, he already knew that they should have been together in marriage for months now, and, well… he had also been a young man in love once… This only made Agnimukha more saddened from all that has passed and it only makes him wish the couple well.

But, that was something that Anthony stopped to think about much later, because, after that afternoon, he had only focused on making a wedding fit for a Princess, in a quite short amount of time.

It had been chaos, but, with them wanting to get married for over a year, a lot about how they wanted the ceremony to go had already been discussed between them, and, a lot had already been planned by him, added the resources they had, they did managed to make a splendid ceremony, mixing the customs of both, just for family and friends.

Kate missed her Tatta, her Grandmama, her Amma, her Appa, just as Anthony missed his father, but, the happiness they were in was such, that their absence did not overshadowed their happiness. Especially, when they knew that was what they would have wanted for them, for them to love happily.

Kate was thinking about this, when her sister walked into her room, as she was putting the finishing touches on her golden duopatta, just moments before the ceremony.

Kate sees Edwina enter, in the mirror's reflection, appearing to have stars in her eyes.

She hurries towards Kate, her shoes echoing against the floor, then she climbs onto the stool, sitting over her legs, beside Kate, resting one hand on it, as she begins to stroke Kate's curls with the other, gently. In fascination.

“You indeed look like a real life Princess, Didi…. How does it feel like?” Edwina asked, in a dreamy voice.

Kate smiled at her sister, kissing her cheeks, making her giggle, before answering. “I feel like I've waited for this day… that I was made for this day, since forever, Bon…. I feel that I can burst, that the happiness cannot fit inside me…. That I can barely wait any longer.”

Edwina then starts caressing the green wedding bangles, which was a gift from their Appa, gently. “He wanted this for you…. Knowing this… It must make you so happy. I do not know what he wanted for me….”

Kate becomes emotional, feeling the tears accumulate in her throat, before speaking, squeezing her sister's small hands between hers. “Appa talked to me before… All he wanted was for me to be happy, and, I have no doubts in my heart, that he wanted the very same for you.”

Edwina hugs her, emotionally. She would be lost without her Didi.

And, Kate hugs her tight, grateful for her sister's words… It just gives her more confidence that somewhere, her family was proud of her decision.

🦋

Daphne was thrilled… She loved weddings, she loved love stories, growing up with her parents, with Kate and Anthony, made her believe that living a great love was possible.

She enters Anthony's room, barely waiting for him to reply, after she knocks on the door, running towards him, seeing him ready for the wedding.

Anthony perks up, as he sees Daph run to him and hug him.

He spins her around, taking a giggle out of her, and, when he sets her down, she rises up on her toes, and, he leans down, letting her fix his cravat and his hair, even though he had just did exactly that.

“I don't know what Father would say to you at this moment, Brother… But, I know he would be as proud, and, as happy, as we all are for you.” She told him, as she proceeded to adjust the small tulip bud on his blue suit.

Her words move him, and, he doesn't know what to say, aiming for the ground instead, trying to keep his tears at bay.

But, he doesn't even have time to think of something, because Daph keeps talking. “We've all been waiting so long for the day when Kath is, finally, officially part of our family, Brother.. I can't imagine what must feel like for you.”

Anthony thinks about when he'd met her, how he'd loved her then, how that wasn't enough, that since then, all he wanted was to love her more and more, and now… “I feel like this it's what I'm meant to do my whole life, Sister. That I am meant to walk on this earth along with Kate.”

Daphne is moved at hearing her brother's words, yearning to be able to experience a love like his. Jumping once more on him, who emits a chuckle, as she hugged him.

And there were his emotions threatening to take the best of him again.

And, their wedding day had brought a lot of emotions indeed.

For their families.

But especially, for Kate and Anthony.

They had decided to have the ceremony outdoor, outside the small chapel that was in Aubrey Hall. The sky was clear blue, without any clouds, the melody of the birds interspersed with the notes of the violins, and, butterflies flew around the flowering bushes, which perfumed the air.

As Kate walked towards him, looking so expectant and so handsome.. she felt that she was walking towards her destiny, and, her smile was such, that her cheeks would hurt.. if her happiness gave any space to focus on something else other than it, and her love, and Anthony. She barely noticed the colors that surrounded them, she just felt her heart beating fast.

Anthony sees her, beauty is all she is, the love in the form of a woman, time stands still, and, his breath goes missing… every moment was leading them to this, he doesn't notice anyone else but her, coming to him, it was as if destiny came on his way.

Their hearts had made their paths cross, pulling them towards the other, showing them that there is only one path in this life for them.

Together.

And, there, when they renew their promises, as they always did, intertwining their pinkies, this time they intertwine their hearts, their lives, feeling that their love was born along time.

That their love would transcend it.

The festivities is a blur for them, anticipation rushed over the surface of their skin, their contact was electric, as they danced, laughed, keeping their hands intertwined, in awe of their wedding rings.

They spend the day whispering in each other's ear: “My wife”; “My husband.”; “My Katie”; “My Tony”; like a vow, like a prayer, like a song. That elates their hearts, and, makes them wait for the moment when they would be alone with a growing anticipation.

🦋

When they entered at Anthony's chambers on that night, a bedroom that now would be theirs, she forgot about everything else and focused only on him.

They waste no time, starting to undress, with him looking at her in fascination the entire time, as he sees her take her red wedding assemble, and, revealing to him the henna on her body, done after a spirited haldi ceremony, at the night prior.

Anthony cannot blink, at the sight of her beauty. His wife is… perfect, from her long legs, to her plain stomach, to her small breasts, to her beautiful face… and.. the junction just below her navel… Anthony’s mouth waters at the idea of tasting her again.

Kate stares at her naked husband, and, he is so handsome, so masculine, so.. with his sculpted face, his broad shoulders, he is so strong, with his strong legs and arms… his hands… Fuck.. they have been droving Kate mad for so long now, she will finally be able to feel them on all of her body, she will finally… Her gaze stops at his enormity for the first time… Oh my…

Now it was all about them, they didn't need to think about anything else and nobody else, just about living their love.

They go to each other at the same time, the moonlight entered through the window, illuminating them, making their skins glow, adding an even more special air to that night.

The night of their first time.

They grew up together, matured together, discovered love and their bodies together.

They shared an intimacy, a love, a devotion that could not exist with anyone else.

They trusted each other unconditionally, and, they were excited to explore this new way of connecting, loving, and, pleasuring each other.

They smile as their bodies met, promptly kissing, letting their tongues tangle, as they make their way to the bed, the only sounds amidst the air were of their moans and heavy breaths.

The back of Anthony's knees go against the bed, and, he slumps to a sitting position, and, Kate sees his cock up close, her widens eyes at first, but, then, she licks her lips, dropping to her knees on the cold, hard floor, without even noticing it, wanting to taste him, as he had tasted her, at seeing the drop of arousal that slipped from it.

Anthony gives a little leap, the pleasure of having her hot, wet tongue on the tip of his cock, was immense, and, unexpected.

He felt the most sensitive part of his cock being stimulated in a way it had never been before, the hot nectar of her mouth enveloping him, and, spurring him on, making him even harder, making him feel his cock throb and swell with want.

She took her time with him, letting her fingertips and tongue roam his full length, teasing him further, as she found out what pleased him the more.

Kate is loving to explore the texture, the hardness, the length, the taste, but, most of all, she is loving to see Anthony untether before her eyes, his eyes alit with passion, his mouth open in pleasure.

When he felt his cock start to twitch, the tension in it ready to burst, he shifted his hips to the side, running his hands through her arms, gliding them over her shoulders, reaching around her neck, lifting her face up, so that he could kiss her mouth again.

The kiss they exchange is full of voluptuousness and ardor, she rises, straddling him, making their intimacies touch for the first time, Kate can't help, but, grind against his cock, wanting to have him inside of her, so that she could finally heed to the fire that burned inside her.

He places his hands over her buttocks, pressing her against his hardness, her wet slit sliding over his length, drawing a groan from both of them. He then takes his fingers to her pussy, letting his thumb press her clit, in circular motions, and, his middle finger slip inside her, the ripples of pleasure makes her shiver, as his words.

He spoke in a smoldering voice tone, his gaze as flamed. “Fuck… Katie, I want to slide into you so bad right now… But first, I am gonna open you up. I am gonna make you feel so good while I am doing it. You'd like that?

“Yeah.'' She says, breathless, as she feels him slip another finger inside her, stretching her and filling her, making her ache even more, filled with avidity for him.

She tangles her hands into his hair, kissing him languidly, clenching around his fingers, as he added another one. Fuck… she wants him so bad. “Tony…” She moans.

"Good God, you are so wet… All this is for me, my love? Do you want this, as much as I do?" He asks her then, and, she nods, but, Anthony, after so much teasing, needs more than just a gesture.

"Won't you tell me how much, Katie?" He taunts her.

"So much, Tony… I want you so much.” She replies, clenching around his fingers, craving for them to be replaced by his cock.

Something settles in his chest then. He rotates them on the mattress, laying on top of her.

His eyes burn into hers, she sees fire dancing in them, with a familiar flame.

In in the mirror of her eyes, he can see a fire that pierces him, burning him deep.

The breath before their kiss seems to exist beyond time, he slides in, and, they exhale, the emotion of becoming one overtakes them.

“Is it you…” She mutters, her voice coming out shakily.

“It is you…” He says, in a voice that it’s little more than a breath against her lips.

My love, my saving grace, my guiding light, my everything… They do not say it out loud, they do not even need their eyes to tell the other this, because they can feel it, in every fiber of who they are, lost in their love, that it’s so much greater than themselves, that they feel blessed beyond any measure, for having found each other.

It was as if they existed only to love each other, in that moment, they find their space in each other's soul, and finally, they are complete, and finally, the yearning that had tormented them for years on end is silenced.

But then... the abrasive fire awakens, raging and consuming them.

Feeling her wet, warm, soft insides envelop him completely, sucking him inside her, as she clenched with a burning desire... nothing had ever felt so wonderful. Fuck… my wife is perfect, is what he thinks, as he buries himself completely inside her, finding his home in her.

Kate is… overwhelmed, she is filled, she is found, she is lost… To feel his hot firmness inside her.. to be this connect to her beloved Anthony, her husband, its sheer perfection. To find her home in him, it is devastatingly blissful.

Then he pauses, giving her time to adjust at having him inside her. Anthony pays attention to her every reaction, leaning his forehead against hers, asking. "How are you feeling, beloved?"

"Stretched… Full… It.. feels too much… And.. not enough.. Tony… I need..” She answers, wrapping her arms and legs around him. She had never felt like this, it was strange to be so full, having his cock instead of fingers inside her, but, as she got used to the feeling of being so open and filled, she just wants for him to move. She clenches around his cock, lifting her hips, when his reply just urges her further.

"Shh… I know… I am going to move, tell me if it feels better like this.” So he moves, in a long, slow, deep thrust, hitting all her right spots, making her gasp, and then, he stops, looking at her attentively, saying. "Kate…"

"So good… Tony, please… Don’t stop." She says, with her eyes closed, sinking her nails onto his skin, as she squeezed him harder, the fire burning inside her more than ever.

"Kate, look at me..." Anthony asks, she opens her eyes and he says with ardor and conviction. "Don't ever plea or beg at me. You are my wife. My love. All.. All that your heart desires, I will give to you.. all you have to do it is to tell me, understood?"

Kate nods first, then tilts her head, giving a lingering peck on his lips, then while looking into his eyes, she says in a flaming tone. "Yeah… Don't stop!"

He smiles, starting to move again. Her hips begin to respond, bucking against his. "So fucking good, I've never felt like this… You are so perfect. So perfect, Katie… I love you.” He said between kisses, with devotion.

“I love you, Tony… so much. Nothing ever felt better….” She says. But, her words become incoherent, lost between their moans, as he enters her in a rhythm that grows in intensity, and, that fuels the fire inside her, making it spread, as they surrender.

Relenting to the cadence of their love.

They found their rhythm, their bodies understanding each other, with easiness.

Anthony lavishes every inch of her that his mouth can reach, kissing her throat, sucking her nipples, nibbling the encounter of her neck with her shoulder, getting lost in the ebb… in the flow of their hips, in the heat waves that hits them, at feeling Kate's hands bring him even closer to her.

Kate roams her hands freely over his skin, feeling his heat invade her, fueling her fire further, as she holds him closer, not wanting to leave any spaces left between them, loving the feel of his weight pressed over her body, as he shifts it, letting only one hand on the mattress, using the other to change the angle of one of her legs, going deeper. Fuck!

She can feel his cock twitching inside her, so hard, so thick, so relentless, thrusting in an intense cadence, that the scorching pleasure overtakes her, growing in waves, and, she clamps on his cock, in a powerful grip, and, that it is all that takes for them both.

Anthony never felt like this, the way they fit, that her boiling wetness envelopes his cock, that her body moves along his, the delicious friction, that makes him taste a pleasure that he had never knew before, as she clenches hard around him, and, he drinks her moans, it’s overwhelming... he's flying beyond the edge with her.

The pleasure builds, the fire spreads, through heat waves that threaten to consume them, until it does.

The fire consumes them, they grinds their bodies franticly, as she rolls her hips against his, driving them into pure ecstasy, their climax shattering everyone else, and, all that it's left is the tingling sensation that seems to hit into their bones, filling their hearts, making them flutter.

Something felt right, so right... it felt like before they just had one pale notion of how much, because here, feeling the intense beat of the other's heart reverberating against their skin and echoing in their own hearts, they feel like as if they are one.

🦋

They decided to travel around Europe for their honeymoon.

Lucky for them, they were previously planning how they would handle with all, long before the proposal and their entanglement becoming public, so, although they didn't travel right after the wedding, a month later they found themselves at the seaport, waving goodbye to their families.

They boarded at the ship excitedly, ready for this new journey in their lives.

On the way to the Mediterranean, Kate was very excited about the prospect of them being able to dive in the clear, warm waters, and, to meet the marine life.

Anthony was excited for being able to travel. Period. Especially in her company. He was excited to, finally, be back at feeling like the young man he is.

Kate was jumping, leaning on the prow of the ship, pointing excitedly to the sea. ''Anthony, look…! Dolphins!!”

God, he doesn't know when he’d noticed her beauty first, maybe it was always there, maybe it was when they started to become adults, but, it could very well have been now, because he had never seen her looking as beautiful as in this moment, with the sunset gleaming over her black curls, making her rich brown skin glow.

The love he feels vibrates fiercely in his chest, making him burn with desire. He goes to her, hugging her from behind, and, he sees the dolphins leaping in the sea, the azure waves, time revealing, time hiding them, and, indeed, it is quite the sight, but, he soon returns his gaze to her smile.

He kisses the side of her neck, whispering in her ear. “Come with me.”

Kate bites her lip, closing her eyes, feeling his warm breath against the sensitive skin of her neck. It makes her shiver and.. giggle, feeling like the young woman she is, as he laces his fingers along hers and he begins to guide her through the first-class corridors, until they find an empty one.

When he lands at her feet, lifting the hem of her lehenga, she says, biting her lip. “Tony, we're going to get caught.”

“I can get you there quickly, Katie.” He teased, at seeing her expression, he grinned. “Do you doubt it? Because I doubt that you can contain yourself from screaming with pleasure.”

It incites Kate, he keeping teasing her, and, being playful with her. Being able to feel her inner mischievousness awake within her again, being able to see the defiant glint in Anthony’s eyes, makes her so happy. The joy bursts inside her, for them being able to prove of such joy once more, for being able to elate such feelings in one another, as always. The certainty that they were always meant to be only grows in her, and, at seeing the way he looks at her, she finds herself loving him even more.

He then descends upon her, lavishing her sweet cunt with wet kisses, feasting delighted, watching as she bit her lips to contain herself. That just urges Anthony further, sucking her with more vigor and intensity, letting himself do everything he has already discovered that she likes.

He caresses her lips, scraping his stubble over her wet folds, he exposes her clit to him, breathing on it, before sucking it, and, taking a finger inside her, that he bends, stroking her special spot, relentlessly. The pressure of his mouth, the rubbing of his finger maddens her.

Kate squirms against the wall, letting the tiniest of sounds escape her mouth, when she feels Anthony smiling against her pussy, she pulls his hair harder, making him let out a grunt, which makes her grin in satisfaction, a satisfaction that only grows, at feeling him enter her with his tongue, in a delicious way, which only intensifies her pleasure, that grows in waves from her center, threatening to consume her, but, she resists.

She pulls Anthony up, his chin was glistening, and, his gaze is lost in her, she feels the ache burn through her, and, she licks his chin, making him moan. His groaning only intensifies, as she opens his pants, caressing the tip of his cock, kissing him with avidity at the same time.

He takes her by the thighs, sliding inside her, at the same time that his tongue went to hers, and, Anthony is engulfed by her warm ocean, and, he loses himself in her, in that scent of lilies that she has, delighted with the friction of his hardness against her soft interior, which clenched around him, pulling him further in.

Kate was on edge, and when he invaded her, filling her completely, she came, without any pretense of holding back.

God.. Feeling her coming around his cock, maddens Anthony, who utters wildly. “Fuck, my love… You enjoy having my cock this much inside of you? Hm? Will you ride me and chase your pleasure? Will you keep coming around my cock?”

“Fuck…” It’s all Kate manages to express, starting to ride him with avidity, in an ardent cadence.

The way she swirled her hips… fuck. Anthony wraps his arms around her buttocks, supporting her so she can ride him, and, good God, she does, with a wonderful cadence, that makes him swell more and more, and, he knows from the heat and tension that grows inside him, from his twitching cock, to the fire spreading throughout his body that he won't resist much longer.

Then, he presses her against the wall, making his pubic bone rub against her sensitive clit with each thrust, in a delicious friction. His mouth swallowed her moans, just as hers swallowed his. And, his mind becomes hazy, and, there is only her, and, his love, and he looses…

“Fuck, Katie.. ride me just like this, just like.. Fuck, you are so fucking perfect” Anthony kept mumbling between kisses, surrendered to the pleasure.

“Tony… so fucking good… I love having you inside me.” Kate's lips let out, as she pressed her hands to his buttocks, burying him deep inside her.

“Fuck.. Kate, yeah… tell me what I do to you, and, I will show you what you do to me.” He said, in a trembled breath, in a combination of desire and panting.

Then, her husband further intensified the power of his thrusts, changing the angle of his hips, hitting just the spot inside her, and, Kate gets lost.. the pleasure of his touches, his kisses, his gazes, cascade through her spine, bursting into flames, from the heat of his wanting, consuming her all. Kate knows that she won't resist much longer.

Having him sliding into her was a wonderful thing, even with him being so big, and, her being so tight, they fit perfectly. Kate loved having him filling and stretching her, enveloping her completely with his strong body.

She loved to feel his passion, his passionate cadence, in a delicious friction, that made her feel ecstatic and reach for the stars.

Anthony could feel his eyes roll in pleasure, behind his lids, blurring his vision, clouding his thoughts, his breathing getting ragged, as he lunged back and forth, not knowing if he loved more the heat of her enfolding him, clenching, and, slickly, or the pleasure stamped on his wife's face.

They cling to each other, crying out at the same time, urgently. “Come with me, beloved… Come with me, come…. ”

The bet was forgotten between them, now, all they saw, thought, felt, was each other, the pleasure they chased for themselves, and, to give the other, intensifying the rhythm of their love. The force of their passion fuels them, consuming them completely, driving them over the edge in an explosive way.

Anthony lets his forehead fall against hers, both of them panting, he smiles then and says. “I guess we both lost.”

Kate denies, smiling, looking at him adoringly. “We both won!”

He smiles in awe of her.

They kiss again, as he brings her legs back to the ground. And, that was their luck, for moments later they heard the sound of voices and footsteps in the next corridor.

They straighten up quickly, laughing, rushing out of the hallway from where they were.

At least this time they weren't caught in the act!

🦋

Dinner by candlelights, to the sound of violins, which were played exclusively for them, melded along the sound of the sea in the distance, was incredibly romantic.

Kate is enraptured with the scenario they are in, but, if someone asked her to describe it, Kate knows she would make a poor description of the environment. Truthfully, she only had eyes for Anthony.

How was it possible to fall in love over and over, more and more with the same person? Anthony looks at her, gazing at him with a love that seems to turn her amber eyes into an ocean of love, resplendent as the sunrise, that shines brighter and brighter with each new day. She fascinated him, she fascinated him with what he found in her gaze. In how he felt about her.

He raises his hand, inviting her for a dance.

Kate promptly accepts, with a luminescent smile.

The soft melody lulls them, as they move in unison, he hums his favorite love song, in her ears and when she looks up at him, Anthony feels that his heart could stop right there, and even so, he would remain happy, getting lost in her gaze.

Kate is touched by this sweet moment between them, thinking only about the here, the now... his warm embrace, and, his lilting voice. She loved hearing him sing to her, she raises her hands to his neck, bringing her face close to his, kissing him, saying, enamored. “I love you, Tony.”

“I love you too, Katie.” He says, with devotion.

When they make love with the moonlight reflecting upon them that night, the lull of the sea making their movements even more cadenced, they are in fullness, in bliss.

And the feeling only grows as they travel across Europe.

With each new place, they are more and more fascinated by knowing a new facet of the other, by being able to share of this new growing intimacy.

Kate hadn't known that Anthony liked to tuck his pillow before going to sleep.

Anthony didn't know that Kate oiled her hair every night, religiously, before going to sleep.

He didn't know that she would joke, and, laugh with delight when they made love.

She didn't know that he would not stop talking during their love making.

They had imagined so many times what their lovemaking would be like, only to discover that it flowed naturally between them, just like their love, which happened naturally as breathing, and, filled them with air, vitality, dreams and joy.

That was what they liked the most, being able to weave their days with threads of joy.

Of being able to go to sleep every night hearing an ‘I love you’, and, to wake up in the morning with a kiss.

🦋

They traveled to the Mediterranean, diving deep into the clear blue waters, exploring its reefs and its fluidity, and, the freedom it brings them. Loving discovering their bodies, and, the pleasures they could provide to the other.

They traveled to Spain, basking under the Spanish sun, mesmerized at the dance shows. Loving testing the Kama Sutra positions, competing to see who could get it right, laughing when they couldn't, loving to bring their playful side to their lovemaking.

They delight at the Italian food, loving to roll in the flowering fields of Tuscany, making love without shame or restrictions, with the stars and moonlight as their witnesses.

Their last stop before returning home is France.

They were in Paris, bickering for a change, debating whether they preferred Italy or France.

Anthony said, amazed with himself, that it was France, but, Kate loved every moment they'd spent in Italy too much.

They are getting nowhere, while passing through the halls of the Louvre, barely paying attention to the beautiful works of art before them, until they find themselves face to face with the Mona Lisa.

They are silent for a long time. Admiring her, until Anthony says, not quite knowing what to say. “She is remarkable, indeed, but… I thought… You thought?”

“That she was.. bigger? I thought so too…” Kate says, surprised.

“Well… At least we can agree on that!” He says, with mirth.

She chuckles, and, they forget of what they were bickering about in the first place.

They cut short their visit to the museum in that day, as well as the days before, as well as the days that followed.

All they wanted was to love, and…, to make love.

It’s not a surprise, for no one, maybe just for them, that when they return from their honeymoon, Kate is pregnant.

Anthony was alarmed at how seasick she had been on the way back.

"Perhaps you ate something that wasn't good for you... I think we should look for a doctor at the next port." He suggested, for the millionth time.

But, Kate, feeling quite vexed at the moment, only asks. "How have you been watching me like a hawk since we embarked and you still haven't noticed that my courses didn't came once during our honeymoon?"

The way his eyes widened and filled with tears, the way he tilted his head, seeking for confirmation in her eyes, would stay with Kate forever.

Kate promptly forgot about her annoyance, feeling her own eyes water as she spoke, in a choked voice. "We're going to be parents, Tony."

Anthony knew they were young, but, knowing that their love would give them a baby, give them a family... He had thought that their lives couldn't get any better than it was, but, now he knows how it can.

Kate laughs, loving to see how the corners of his mouth quivered, then widened into the biggest smile she'd ever seen him give, as he strode to her, hugging her tight.

Her ear fitted over his heartbeats, and, as she listened to them, she felt as if here, now, with him enfolding her in his love, while carrying the fruit of their love in her womb... what a wonderful world they are living.

If Kate had thought that his reaction had been quite endearing, when she'd told him on the ship, it was because she hadn't yet seen the family's reaction.

As soon as they set foot in their London home, Anthony extended his arm proudly around her waist, exultantly announcing. “Kate is pregnant!”

They all exploded with excitement.

Edwina and Daphne let out squeals of joy, and ran to her, hugging her belly.

Gregory and Hyacinth started to jump.

Francesca shook Eloise's arm, in excitement.

Eloise, despite being happy, didn't understand the reason for so much commotion.

Colin promptly went to ask the staff to bring some food and drinks, so they could celebrate properly.

Benedict went to pat Anthony on the back, in a congratulatory manner.

And, Violet laughed, jubilantly.

But, it was Mary's reaction that stayed with Kate, because for the first time since her Appa left, Kate had seen the light return to Mary's eyes. Yes… living was the answer.

Looking into Anthony's eyes, she knows that he sees the same, glad that they've chosen to live their love, to leave their pain behind.

Letting the past in past, focusing on the living, on those who were there with them, sharing of their joy.

She does not know what tomorrow will bring, but, Kate knows that with Anthony by her side, the father of her child, her beloved husband, her best friend… with their love, there is nothing that she can not face.

Looking into Kate's eyes, Anthony knows there's nothing they couldn't face together, because he is a better person with her by his side, how could he not be, if she's the best person in the world? His best friend, his love, his wife, Kathani Bridgerton, mother of his child.

When they first met, they just wanted to love each other.

At seeing where their love has taken them, they just keep wanting to love each other more and more.

Forever.

Chapter Text

Kate was gardening, with Mary at her side, who laughed when she saw Anthony hovering on the window, watching them like a hawk. “Your husband is not happy that you are here with me.”

“My husband is not happy with me even going down the stairs these days.” Kate says, but, despite him testing her patience every day, there's no bite in her tone, after all she knows how traumatizing Hyacinth's birth was for him.

She remembers the difficult conversation they had, about her birthing their child, about the possible outcomes.

The beginning of her pregnancy had been of pure bliss, every day she felt more and more happy, at having her husband, and, her family with her, seeing that they were happy again once more.

She remembers how amazed everyone had been when her baby started moving in her belly...

But, as her pregnancy progressed, Anthony became less relaxed… He went from just giving her foot and back rubs, at the end of the days, to making sure she ate for two, to stopping her from riding a horse, and, eventually, to stopping talking to her belly at night.

Instead… he barely slept, being plagued by nightmares where Kate didn't survived the birth.

Kate had done her best to appease him, to tell him that she could survive the birth, and, that she could leave shortly after, for any other reason, that they had to focus on living the now, as they had been doing… But, that was the wrong thing to say.

"I think about you constantly, when something happens, you're the first person I want to tell about it, when I read a book, or see a butterfly... I only have eyes for you, Kate." Anthony had confessed to her one night, clinging to her with desperation.

Kate agonized over what she had found reflected in his gaze.

"I find myself in your gaze, without you... I'm lost, Kate. Completely lost... I miss you all the time, Kate... I'm not complete when you're not here... When you're not here... I'm not here… I… I… love… our child… But… you… Without Kate, there is no Anthony. It's that simple, there's no other choice for me.. You must live.. If you don't live…” Anthony couldn't continue on, choked in his emotions.

Kate hugged him tight, bringing him as close as she could to her, with her belly between them, murmuring against his ear. “I'm way more stubborn than you, my love… I want to live… So… I’m going to live… I'm going to have our child, and, to see you holding our baby in your arms… I.. I'm going to see our child grow, with you by my side... But, I need you to choose our baby also.”

Kate then brought his hand over where her child kicked happily. “Our baby is the fruit of our love… Anthony…” Now it was Kate who couldn't go on, there were tears flooding her eyes and wetting her face.

Anthony wiped away her tears, leaning his forehead on hers, after kissing it, saying reassuringly. “I promised you to give you whatever you wanted, didn't I, my sweet? Rest assured.. you will live, and, you will have our child in your arms soon.”

The conversation had settled something within them, and, Anthony was back to caressing her belly, to kissing it and talking to their baby.

Even if he continued to hover over her like a hawk.

Kate watches him at the window, feeling something warm spread across her chest.

Still, she thanks all the Gods and Goddesses that he's indoors, because when she gets up, she feels such a twinge in her back, that she can't stop herself from grunting in pain.

“Kathani…?” Mary had asked, getting up and coming quickly to her side.

“It's my back… You know how it is at this point…” Kate said, in a dismissive manner.

Mary nods, but... she continues to watch her closely.

Great... Now she has two hawks hovering over her... Kate thinks.

But soon her thoughts disperse, when she feels a drop on her face.

The rain makes them go hastily back inside.

Of course it would rain in the day her child decided to come into the world, but, it does not even retain Kate's attention, the birth of her baby demanded all of it.

She squeezed Anthony's hand, with all her strength, she pushed with all her might, and, she wanted to scream with all her might as well, as she heard the midwife, Gertrude, tell her to push one more time.

What the fuck did she think she was doing? Ever since her water broke, shortly after she'd walked back in, and, she'd been quickly draped over the pillows and Anthony chest, that's all she'd been doing.

Anthony grunted behind her, as she squeezed his hand even tighter. “Kate, my love… if you could squeeze my hand a little less…”

"I'm going to stop squeezing your hand and I'm going to squeeze your cock instead, Anthony Bridgerton! I'm in this state because of you!" She shouted, pushing one more time, wondering if her body was really made for that, because she felt like she was being torn in half.

Kate tried to focus on the fact that soon she will have her child in her arms, but, it wasn't easy, when she was hit by another wave of pain, and, she clutched her husband's hand once more, leaning back against his chest, weary.

“You were as involved in the making of our child, as I, Kathani Bridgerton.” Anthony says, worried about her, hoping for their usual bantering to distract him from the his fears, and her from the pain, even if it costs him his hand, which throbs with twinges of pain.

Anthony just prays for his wife and child health, that it is that he has been doing since she told him that she was pregnant.

He cannot loose either of them… He tries to focus on the joy that it will be, to have their baby, at long last, among them, banishing his fears away, trying to support his Katie in such hour.

Gertrude, told her to push once more, that she could already see the head, that the baby was almost among them, appearing to be apprehensive about their 'fight'.

Kate got up once more, leaning on the mattress to do so, saying, while panting. “If you think you're going to touch me again after this, you're sorely mistaken! This child will be an only child! Agh…”

Anthony, at seeing that her pain has intensified, promptly raises his hand to hers once more, entwining them, trying to give her all the support he can, as he says. "I swear I won't make love to you again unless you want me to."

So he and the midwife prodded her on, as she was giving the final pushes. “You're doing so well, Katie, so wonderfully well, just a few more pushes and we'll have our baby with us, just breath and push.”

Kate gathered all her strength, all her determination, all the love she had for her child, which grew with each new kick in her belly, with her growing desire to have her child in her arms, and so, she pushes, and, it is then that she feels, and, it is then that she sees, that she hears, her Edmund for the first time, her son.

She will never forget the power that motherhood has, when he was placed in her arms for the first time, with Anthony's arms encircling both of them, she forgets everything, all the nauseas, the sleepless nights, the pain of the birth, of the agonizing wait, and, she is filled with such a love, that it seems to not fit in her, when she sees a baby just like her Anthony, except that he had the color of her skin.

Perfection!

Kate has the most perfect baby of the world.

She kisses his little hand, leaning into it, fascinated, fascinated that they had made such a wonderful little baby, through their love. "He is perfect. Our Edmund.” She says in a choked voice.

“You two are! Thank you, my love, you have given me the greatest gift in the world.” Anthony says, equally moved, kissing her cheek, and, caressing his, with the same fascination.

Anthony is a father now… He thought he known all facetes of love before, but, now he is presented with a new one… His love and Kate’s, turn into one, in the form of their precious baby boy. Their Edmund!

Both look at him almost without blinking, enraptured, the midwife takes care of Kate, amazed at how quickly they had changed their demeanor, happy that everything went well, watching them and admiring the beautiful, and happy, family they formed.

“I thank you, beloved. Thanks to you, I will never be alone again, indeed.” She says, leaning her forehead against his.

“You never were, my sweet, and, you never will be, I pinky swore, didn’t I? Our Edmund just makes us even more connected.” He says, smiling.

She smiles, beaming with her happiness, saying. "Forever."

🦋

Anthony listens to his son cry, disturbing the silence of the night, and so, before he disturbs Kate's sleep, who is barely sleeping, breastfeeding him several times throughout the day, he gets up from their bed, doing his best to not make any sudden movements.

The deep dark circles under his wife's eyes told him how much she needed sleep...

Even knowing her since she was a little girl, and, knowing how nurturing she is, it still amazed him to see how she cared of their son without complaints, with just love in her eyes.

Every time Anthony thought that he knew her completely, that he couldn't love her any more, he saw her, making faces at their son, playing with him, making him laugh, and, come to her, just like him, and, he fell in love again.

He closes the nursery door carefully, muttering. “I know… I know I'm not your Amma, but, she needs her rest, so you're going to have to settle for your Appa tonight.”

When he was going to pick him up, he sees the door open, and, he fears is Kate, but, it's his mother.

“Mother…” He exclaimed, bringing Edmund into his arms, lifting him out of the crib, and, cradling him against his heart.

He didn't know if it was the skin-to-skin contact, or if his son missed hearing Kate's heart constantly, but, he loved snuggling there, and, that takes a delighted smile out of him.

“I thought you were sleeping… I still don't know what came over that child to want to breastfeed him, and, take care of him on her own….” Violet muttered, with a hint of vexation.

She knew Kate, but still... she's a Princess!

“She's not on her own…” Anthony promptly said, sternly.

Violet closes her mouth, looking at her eldest son, and, taking in the man he's become, and, that gives her a pause.

“It's true… she has us, and.. you… Seeing you take care of our family, like you did… I had no doubt that you would be a great father, my son….” Then she gets emotional. "I just…"

Anthony realizes that she was thinking about his father, and, that makes him say. “I know… all the time I find myself thinking about what he would do… how much he would love him…”

“We've all figured out along the way what to do… I'm not him, but, I'm here for you two…” Violet offers, earnestly, squeezing his arm, which he used to rock his son.

She seems to get lost in memories, before finding the words. “Your father… we all knew you were going to be together from the beginning… We talked about how many grandchildren you would give us, whether we would have to run with you to Gretna Green… In a way… He had the future so clear in his mind, that it was like he already knew him, that he already loved him… Neddy will be the one who…”

“We'll tell him about Father, Mother… We'll tell about how he loved the hats you made…” Anthony lightly commented, despite being emotional, talking about his father, getting to talk to his mother…

She laughs, in watery manner. “How he loved to bake cakes and make us laugh… I am so glad that you named him after your father.. It suits him so well.. Every time he laughs, bringing a smile to the whole family, I…”

“It seems like before…” Anthony remarks, with a smile in his eyes.

She nods, joining him, stroking Neddy's hair, as Anthony caressed gently his cheek.

This causes him to yawn, and, settle into his father's embrace, and, it gets a little laugh out of them.

Kate watches them, and, she is so happy... not only that her son has gone back to sleep, but, to see Anthony and Violet finally getting along once more.

Their relationship had suffered so much when they'd lost Edmund, as had hers and Mary’s, when her Appa was gone, but, the arrival of their son had brought them to cross their bridges.

She just hoped that one day, the same would happen to her Tatta... whether if it was duo him visiting them, or them visiting him.

Kate returns to their bedroom then, returning to the worlds of dreams, with joy in her heart.

🦋

Kate was riding happily through the green grounds of Aubrey Hall, her smile only widening when she caught the sight of the white willow, whose leaves majestically fell from its branches, like a green cascade. It marked the finishing line of the little race that she was betting with Anthony.

When she passes it, she jumps from Nectar, going to lean back happily against it's bole, waiting for Anthony to arrive, and, it doesn't take long for the vision of him, on top of Serena, to appear before her eyes.

Kate couldn't help, but, let out a little chuckle at the sight of his sullen face.

With Edmund among them, added the family, and their duties, they took to riding earlier in the mornings, ensuring that at least they had a moment only for them, throughout the day.

They had fun, betting on new finishing lines at each sunrise, finding new secluded spots for them to hide and make love. Whoever won got to choose how and where they would make it.

Kate was particularly fond of their little game, as she used to win it frequently.

Anthony dismounted, and, Serena joined Nectar, they pastured peacefully on the grass, as Anthony approached her. “You've got really determined this morning, my love. I will give that to you, you made me eat dust!”

Kate laughs openly now, saying, with mirth. “What can I say, Tony? I saw this tree and I thought it was the perfect spot. I had to make sure you we loved one another here.”

“Well, if my Princess Bridgerton wishes for me to love her, here…” He says, grabbing her thighs and bringing them around his waist. “Then I will love her right here…” He places a lingering kiss on her lips, urging her on. “… right now.”

Kate laughs, and, uses her body weight to spin them around, leaning on the big bole, so she doesn't loose her balance and knock them on the ground, while she says. “No way I am gonna stay against the bole, you're wearing a shirt and your jacket, I only have my choli, I'm going to be all grazed…”

“So you want to ride me while I'm fully dressed, my love? Fine by me… You’ve won after all.” Then he looks provocatively at his pants, in an open invitation, which Kate doesn't think twice about accepting.

She opens them and then she guides him inside her, with urgency, already ready for him.

She rides him with a mastery that fascinates him, and, Anthony grips her thighs, keeping her in place, as she rises and falls, changing the moment when she clenched around him, warming him, urging him further.

Kate teased him, making it look like that she was going to kiss him on the lips, only to kiss his neck, nibbling on it, making his head throw back in ecstasy.

The wind moved the leaves, which brushed against their skin from time to time, awakening his senses even more, intensifying the sensations, the heat of her body against his, the delicious friction of her pelvis against his, feeling her so wet, so pleased with his cock, having her taking her pleasure from him, it drove him mad, filling him with rising waves of elation and bliss.

Anthony took one of his hands from one of her thighs, tangling his fingers in her hair, pulling her to him, taking her lips in a greedy, torrid kiss that only added to the satisfaction she felt at that moment.

His cock filled Kate completely, stretching her and hitting all her right spots with each new thrust, she loved the slide of him, filling her more and more, stimulating her all pleasure receptors more and more, like waves of heat that washed over her, spreading with an increasing intensity, which enraptured her and made her lose herself in him.

Kate simply loves to become one with Anthony, whether with them taking their time, or going fast, being talkative or silent, sweet or intense, she loves being able to love her husband like this.

She lets her tongue meet his in a delicious dance, making her savor each sensation, joyfully.

They smile, between passionate kisses, as Kate rides him with even more impetus, and, he pulls her even closer, letting his hand then go to where they were united, intensifying their pleasure, which rises, as the heat seared and burned them, more and more, until it consumed them, and they exploded in a climax so potent, that it draw a scream from both their throats.

They panted, as their foreheads rested against each other, content that, in their new game, none of them actually lost.

"Aren't you happy that I grew up to your height, winning our races?” Kate teased him.

Anthony laughed, enthralled by the wit in her eyes, just like the first time.

🦋

“I think you shouldn't play. It won't be safe for the baby." He told her, as they walked towards the gardens.

“I am not cutting out, Anthony… Forget it. Besides, the baby is quite safe… remember what the doctor said.” She replies, eyeing him.

Taking advantage of the fact that he was stretching, she ran to the mallets and stole the black one for her.

He looks at her vexed, exclaiming. “Kathani Bridgerton!”

She just raises her eyebrows, in a challenge.

In what he says. "You'll see! I'll send your ball straight into the lake! And it will be you who will have to catch it!”

“But, I am pregnant, my love… Were you not worried about the baby?” She taunts him.

“Well.. you are the one who said that the baby is safe… “ He approaches her, dismayed by having to play with the pink mallet, looking at it with disgust.

While their siblings chat a little further away, watching amused as they bicker.

“I say that we should start playing without them. This is going to take a long time before ending.” Eloise suggested.

“I agree… That should give us a head start.” Colin said, smiling mischievously.

“We can't do this… they'll be furious!” Edwina interjected.

"Not to mention that it's not fair." Benedict added.

Daphne shrugs, saying, while grinning. “We can tell them, in any kind of voice tone, that we're going to start playing. If they listened, that's great... Otherwise... they can't say that we didn't warn them, can they?"

The siblings look at each other smiling.

Francesca, who was standing nearby, reading a book, just rolled her eyes, deciding to join the mamas, who looked after Edmund, Hyacinth, Gregory and Newton. The corgi puppy that Anthony had given Kate on her last birthday.

He was very mischievous, just as Kate, and, at seeing the balls being placed on the green grass, he runs towards them, catching the pink one with his mouth.

Kate and Anthony stop bickering immediately and say at the same time. “Newton!”

But, the dog ignores them, taking the ball to Edmund, who doesn't take a second to...

“Ah… he is putting it in his mouth!" Kate pointed.

At the same time that Anthony wondered. “Why do children insist on putting everything in their mouths?!”

They go to him, hastily, even with their mamas, having already taken the ball out of his mouth, but, he was reluctant to hand over the ball, Newton barked, as if agreeing with him.

Their siblings started the game without them, while they tried to convince Edmund to let go of the pink ball.

Both were furious, indeed, once they ‘returned' to the game, they were relentless in their attacks, uniting against their siblings, until they had stroke down all of them, mercilessly.

Their siblings, being equally competitive, with the exception of Edwina, who was only amused by their lunatic behavior, started to play just as aggressively.

It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that it didn't take long for a ball to fly in the wrong direction.

It… hit Colin in the face.

Cutting the game short and with no winners.

“I told you it was dangerous.” Anthony insisted, on the way back to the house, as if that justified him on his behalf.

Kate only deigned to give him a crossed look.

🦋

Giving birth to her second child it was just as eventfully as giving birth to her first.

Mayan had come into the world, along with the spring, and, the years had spread before them, as swiftly and blissfully, as the flutter of a hummingbird's wings.

Before they knew it, Gregory, (and Hyacinth), were nearly as tall as they were, they were running through the house after Edmund, and, gawking at Mayan's first word - Newton; Anthony had been glaring at the burly corgi for a entire week, as if he were the responsible for such nonsense. - and, their days were woven with the joys of the family adventures, mingled with their duties.

Benedict, begrudgingly, since he wanted to focus on his art, had begun to assist with the estates, as Anthony had to attend many diplomatic meetings.

Kate's project with the Queen had been a success, and, they were working on a way to expand it.

Eloise wanted to join them, Colin wanted to travel abroad, and, Francesca wanted to travel to their aunt's house in Bath, to study music.

They were at the table, in a boisterous meeting, discussing it over dinner.

“But… if you leave, you won't be here for my season.” Daphne complained to Francesca.

“Ugh… God forbid her from missing your illustrious introduction to the Ton!” Eloise exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

“Eloise!” Violet reproached her, as she tried to convince Edmund to eat his peas.

Gregory throws his at Hyacinth, who starts throwing her food at him.

“Greg, Hy…” Anthony says, just narrowing his eyes, and, that makes them stop.

Kate smiles at him, as she feeds Mayan with an apple puree.

He was on Mary's lap, and, he kept trying to take the spoon from her hand, and, bring it to his mouth.

This draws a laugh from Edwina.

As well as Colin, who mentioned. "Mayan takes after his favorite uncle, does he not?"

“I am his favorite uncle…” Benedict exclaimed, insulted.

“Oh.. Brother…” Was what Francesca, who was at his side, remarked.

Making him look at her stunned.

Daphne watched this exchange, realizing that her plea had been forgotten, feeling something tighten in her heart.

She looks around the table, seeing the general cheer, seeing Anthony help Kate distract Mayan in his endeavor to steal the spoon, the way they look at each other lovingly… she wonders if it was so wrong for her to want this for herself.

She wants to have her whole family with her before her season... After all, she knows that Kate and Anthony, as their parents, were lucky. She doesn't know if she will have something like this in her future.

Suddenly, her eagerness for her season to arrive vanishes… What if she didn't have it... could she give up the right thing for the doubtful one?

But then, Mayan manages to steal the spoon anyway, covering Kate with the puree, and, Kate laughed, as Anthony cleaned her face with the napkin, and, the way their gazes met, and, softened. …

Yes.. for love it was worth growing up and leaving the nest.

And, just like that, her eagerness returns with everything, and, she can't wait for her season to arrive… If Fran and Col were to travel, she would miss them dearly, but, Daphne understands then, that if she had the right to go after what she wants, so had they.

🦋

The season in which Daphne, finally, debuted arrived.

They were walking behind her, and, a poet who was courting her, at the margins of the Serpentine, as they headed to the family tent, for a picnic.

Mayan was in Anthony's arms, while Edmund was a little ahead of Kate, holding Newton's leash.

Anthony wanted to hand his son over to his wife's arms, and, then get in the middle of his sister's conversation, who seemed far interested in that..”Eccentric! We can't let her marry someone like that, Katie!" He grumbled.

Kate entertained her son, laughing at Anthony's bad mood, saying. “Trust in her to choose her husband, my love. If you intrude, she might show even more interest, just to spite you, you know how younger siblings are…”

He nods unwillingly, but, shortly afterwards, he ends up giving Mayan to Kate, as Newton sees a squirrel, and, runs towards it. Edmund still not having the strength to control him.

Newton ran at full speed, even with his short legs, after the squirrel, drawing everyone's attention, as he barked loudly, when Newton lost sight of the squirrel…

Anthony cannot believe that this dog, on top of what he had just done, decided that running wasn't enough and went for a swim.

Anthony cannot believe that he, a Duke, had to do the indignity of entering in the Serpentine to rescue the dog, who was simply, (and clearly!!), enjoying swimming in the refreshing waters.

When he puts Newton on the sidelines, he's cursing himself, internally, wondering why he even thought to get Kate a dog!? Why?!

But then, he sees Daph apart from that… poet. Edmund’s relief, as he rans, hugging Newton.

And Kate.. happily looking appreciatively at him, and, he doesn't believe in himself, but, he takes off his jacket, stepping out of the water, his white shirt was all transparent, giving her a show.

Kate couldn't believe in what her Anthony had just done, running after Newton, entering into the icy waters to rescue him, taking off his jacket to… She wasn't sure what his purpose was, but… Goddesses…

It was in that same park that she had bumped into him all those years ago, and today, after so long, at being faced with another incident, she can only thank for the guiding hand in their lives….

It was in moments like this, when her certainty that everything would be fine was strengthened, as well as her love... as well as… her desire. Kate can't wait to find herself alone with her Tony.

When she jumps on him, in the first moment they find themselves alone, Anthony forgets about everything, thinking that if the situation worked in his favor like this, it was worth it.

🦋

Daphne ended up marrying a Duke, who also happens to be Anthony's best friend.

Simon Basset.

Kate understood immediately why they had became friends, and, she was shocked for taking so long for him to meet her and all of them.

Anthony was shocked that he and his little sister were in love, finding out in the way that he did.. was not the best of ways of doing so as well.

They had to marry with a special license and then they had gone to Clyvedon for their honeymoon.

But, shortly after, they had returned to London, to help with the scandal of Colin's ill-fated engagement.

It had caught all them by surprise, to figure out that while they were all dealing with their dramatic courtship, Colin had proposed to someone, without the family knowing.

Thankfully, they managed to contain the scandal, despite Lady Whistledown, and now, the whole family was gathered in the drawing room, to celebrate it.

Penelope Featherington, Eloise's best friend, was sitting with her, on a settee, in a farther corner.

Violet cooed Mayan.

Benedict was playing with Edmund and Newton on the rug.

Hyacinth and Gregory, were also on the floor, playing marbles.

While Francesca walked to the piano, talking to Colin.

Kate and Anthony stood by the window, drinking a cup of tea. He was leaning forward, whispering something in her ear, that made her giggle.

At that moment, Daphne and Simon entered the drawing room, and, Hyacinth jumped to her feet, bouncing towards Simon, promptly asking. “Simon, when will I be able to visit Clyvedon?”

To which Simon replied with a smile. "You are welcome to visit at any time.”

Then, Hyacinth laughs, as Gregory stands up, saying he wants to visit Clyvedon too, at the same time that Francesca begins to play an upbeat tune.

Hyacinth and Gregory forget their bantering instantly and start dancing, while Kate and Anthony go to Mayan and Edmund, clapping their little hands along the beat of the music, making them fill the room with their puerile laugh.

Colin starts singing, managing to capture everyone's attention in the jolly moment.

Even Newton wagged his tail happily, taking a giggle from Daphne and Violet, they went to sit on the sofa, after grabbing a cup of tea, to admire the commotion that the family was making.

When the song ends, Colin and Francesca are back to talking, as are Eloise and Penelope.

Benedict starts to play with Mayan. And, Kate and Anthony stays in the rug, playing with Edmund.

Newton, tired of all the hustle and bustle, rolls onto his back to take a nap.

And Simon decides to join Daphne, followed closely by Gregory and Hyacinth.

"How many horses do you have?" Gregory asks, curiously.

"May I have one? Your horses are so pretty." Hyacinth remarks, smiling.

“Gregory! Hyacinth!" Violet calls out their attention.

But, Simon isn’t bothered, picking up a paper that was on the small table nearby, asking. "Would a pony do?”

Everyone stops to stare at him, not understanding what he was doing, folding the paper in strange directions, then.. voila! The folding resembled a horse.

"But, it's made of paper…" Comments Gregory.

“It is so?" Simon asks, moving the paper horse, making a horse noise and making everyone laugh.

Daphne looks at him enraptured, at least she still had her family, at least, even if they couldn't reach an agreement, she knew that marrying him was the right choice.

Kate glanced at the way Daphne was looking at Simon, and, she could see that they were still struggling, and that was not a surprise, as she had had to use her influence as a Princess to make him honor Daphne and to stop Anthony from committing a foolishness.

She doesn't know what he was thinking of doing, she knows that if she hadn't been there in the moment that they’d caught them in the act, maybe he would have demanded a duel.

But, she was there, they were married, they had the children, and.., Mary and Edwina had returned to their country home, before the season starting. Anthony would never leave her on purpose, and, Kate knew it... perhaps that was what had kept her from being irritated by his impulsiveness.

But, as she looks at everyone happy, the absence of her sister and Mary, so acute and raw to her, doesn't stop her from resenting Mary's choice.

Kate is strong, and, she had the Bridgertons to rely on, her life was well established, and, she had nothing to complain about, but, that didn't meant that she didn't want or need her only sister and her mama with her.

She had thought that her marriage, that her children had brought Mary back to them, but, apparently she was wrong. Kate had offered to take care of her sister, but, Mary had taken Edwina with her, despite both of their protest.

Kate looks at the carpet instead, playing with its fuzzy lint, wondering if one person really gets to have it all, or if happiness comes from the way a person sees what it happens to them, that’s when her beloved Edmund joins her, trying to snatch a handful of the lint from the carpet.

Kate laughs, kissing his little cheek, which cracks into a smile, showing off the dimple that he has just like Anthony's, and, not for the first time, Kate decides to focus on the present, and, on those around her, instead of those who weren't present.

And so, they spend the afternoon pleasantly, until Penelope has to go home, and, the family retires to change for dinner.

Anthony sees the family going upstairs, taking Mayan and Edmund with them, he sees them being followed by Newton, and, he sees how the smile doesn't reach Kate's eyes.

Since Mary and Edwina had only come back for Daph's wedding, deciding return to their country home instead of staying, she was like this.

He understood Mary's pain, but, he didn't understand how she could've dragged Edwina along her, choosing to live apart from them, how she wouldn't allow herself to give a chance to those who were here, like Kate and her grandchildren.

He didn't understand how Kate's grandfather had only sent gifts, and it was the Maharaja, and not he, who had invited them to visit India.

He understands Kate preferring staying here, though... She gave so much of herself, and yet... They dared to make her feel like her love wasn't enough.

It infuriated him, seeing how she had to struggle every day to forget the absence they had imposed on her. But, luckily their kids helped her to do it, and, Anthony would do the same.

Anthony pulls her onto his lap, giving her a charming look, hoping to convince her to have some fun before dinner, so he can love her and make her forget about everything else that it’s not him and his love.

She caresses his neck, the ice of the metal of her engagement ring, as well as her wedding ring, contrasting with the heat of his skin, makes him shiver.

She then bumps her nose on his, and, says. "It's no use looking at me like that, it won't work, Your Grace, we have company and we can't be late for dinner."

“Well, I think my look works especially on you, and, as the owner of this house, if I say that it's okay for us to be late for dinner, that's law!” He said, and his voice was now almost a purr.

"What did I tell you, about you and your orders, hm?" She teases him, going to the door, making as if she would walk past it, but, then she locks it, turning around, and, looks mischievously at him.

Who smiles besotted of her. When she was in the mood to play along, it was Anthony's favorite mood.

"How much time do we have?" He asked, standing.

"An hour. Maybe two.” She replies, walking with her hands behind her back, feigning disinterest.

"Maybe two?" He whispered, getting closer to her.

Then, he wrapped her in his arms, nuzzling her neck, smelling her scent of lilies, smiling with his face against her skin. “It's that so?"

"Maybe just one." She teased him.

He slipped a finger inside her choli, next to her shoulder, making sure he reached the strap of her corset as well.

"An hour still sounds great." He spoke, pulling the sleeves down, exposing her breasts to him.

The sight of her aroused nipples is irresistible to him, and, he leans down promptly and takes them in his mouth, making Kate throw her head back, opening her mouth in ecstasy, tangling her hands in his hair, reveling at the sensation of him stimulating her sensitive nipples.

The hunger that is always latent inside her roars, calling for him, in a voracious desire that makes her throw him on the sofa, and, when she kneels in front of him, Anthony quickly separates his legs, undoing the buttons of his pants, as well of his jacket and shirt, as she licks her lips at the sight of his cock.

She caresses him, trailing the drop of arousal that had escaped his tip, with her fingertip, teasing him. She smiles, feeling him shiver, and, looking at her with anticipation, she licks her finger, slowly, before she swallows his cock, without looking away from his eyes.

“Fuck.. Kate, your mouth is heavenly.” He moans, caressing her hair, throwing his head back in ecstasy, feeling on edge with just her hot tongue enveloping him, her gaze setting him on fire.

But, she stops, letting her hands travel up his thighs, and then, his abdomen, as she pushes herself up.

Kate didn't know if she loved more teasing, or being teased by him, all she knows at this moment is the enthralling desire, which enraptures her, as the flames of his gaze touched her, fueling the fire within her, while she undressed.

When she mounts him, she lets the fire consume her. She stroked his cock, loving the way it tensed in her hand, how Anthony stopped breathing for a moment, as she brought him to her entrance, and, then slid him inside her.

She rides him, with the mastery that the years had bestowed on her, she goes up and down, again and again, then she stops, grinding against his pelvis, while clenching around him, intensifying the pleasure for both of them, taking them to the edge, swirling her hips, only to stop. Then she rides him once again, stops, grinds, clenches, swirls, again and again, consuming them both, taking them to the edge, over and over, in a delirious pleasure that delights and pleases them both.

Anthony couldn't tear his gaze away from hers, his mouth was slightly open, his breath was mingling with hers, as she moaned and smiled, elated at the heat waves hitting them. He takes his hands to her buttocks, intensifying the cadence of their rhythm even more.

He thrusts up, changing the angle of his hips, hitting her special spot with the tip of his cock, as he went back and forth, wanting her melted in his arms.

“Ah!” She exclaims, with his deep thrust, that hit just the right spot inside her.

Anthony is hypnotized by the bounce of her breasts, bring them once more into his mouth, sucking them, lavishing every inch of skin that he can reach with kisses.

Through her chest, her throat, up her chin, leaving a wet trail of his devotion on her skin.

He kisses her passionately, their tongues tangling in a fiery dance, that fills them with bliss, and, only intensifies the flames that burns within them.

When she whimpers on his mouth, bracing her hands on his body, riding him ravenously, his eyes aflame, and, he says with devotion. “Fuck, my love, ride me just like this.”

Feeling his chest pressed against her breasts, the delicious friction of their bodies, through the meeting of his hardness with her softness, makes Kate roll her eyes in pleasure, feeling it spread like waves throughout her body, and, everything that she manages to make are incoherent sounds, as she rides him harder.

“Fuck.. Look at you, Kate. Are you going to come, riding my cock, just like this?” He asked, almost entranced by the ecstatic expression on her face, at her increasingly frantic and erratic rhythm, feeling her dig her nails on his skin.

He loves how her heat envelops his cock, making it harder, he loves how she clenches around him, coating him, sliding him completely, he loves how she leans onto him, allowing herself to ride him in search of pleasure.

It elates him, it makes him bring his thumb to her responsive clit, as he ardently says. “You are so fucking perfect, Katie. Chasing your pleasure like this.. Take what you want from me. Let me give you what you need… Fuck… I love to feel your cunt around my cock, Kate.. I love it.. I love you.”

“Tony…” Kate utters, lost among the stars, his voice taking her even higher, as the pressure of his circular motions on her clit, she savors the sensations, which makes her shiver... which steal her breath away.

“Fuck… so good.. so fucking good… you feel so right inside of me. I love it… I love you.. Tony.” His movements, his words drive her mad with pleasure.

Kate feels him in the same cadence, in the same surrender, in the same emotion, holding her tighter, eliminating any spaces between them, penetrating her with powerful thrusts, that went deeper and deeper.

Her hair moved, with the undulations of her hips, covering them like a curtain, secluding them from the world, surrounding him with her scent, and… her perfume, her warmth, the coming and going of her hips, becomes everything that Anthony feels.

He feels his cock begging for release, and, he intensifies the pressure on her clit, muttering against her lips. “Fuck… Katie, come with me, come with me, come… Ah…”

Kate feels him in all that she is, his heat is enveloping her, pouring into her, spreading through all that she is, consuming her completely. “Anthony…”

The multitude of sensations stimulates them in such a way that they fall over the edge, together, in a powerful climax, which leaves them surrendered and consumed by the explosive fire of their love.

Devotion takes them, as they are coming down from the stars, in sheer elation and delight.

🦋

Kate swore it was that stolen moment, for both of them, which had left her in the state that she is in now.

She caresses the rib that her baby had just kicked, praying that Anthony, who had gone to get her a glass of lemonade, hadn't seen the grimace she just made.

She loved him with all her heart, his sweetness and care touched her, just like the first day, but, he was insufferable when she was pregnant.

She huffs, at seeing him arrive, looking like a mother hen, all stressed out, having noticed her discomfort.

“Kate, I saw the grimace you made, as well as the rub you gave your ribs. Did the baby kick you? Or is it something beyond that? Do not lie to me…. I need to know if you're okay! Are you sure drinking the lemonade is a good idea? Maybe a glass of water would be better? Maybe we should go outside so you can get some air, or maybe we should go to the resting room… No… I think it is better if we went back home!” He said in one breath.

“Anthony!” Kate exclaimed, narrowing her eyes, looking at him in dismay.

At least he had the decency to smile flatly at her. Quite frankly…. Kate thought. “I'm perfectly fine, the baby just kicked, there's no reason for me not to have the lemonade and no reason for us to go back."

Anthony knows that in the mood that she was in, there's no point in arguing with her, so he holds out his hand to her, asking her to dance.

And even though her huge belly comes between them, making their dancing a bit awkward, Anthony knows it was worth it when he sees her smile again.

Anthony became the richest person in the world when he sees her smile.

When they get home from the ball, they went to the nursery, to check on the children.

Mayan was awake, looking at the drawings in the book Eloise was reading to him.

Edmund was already asleep, hugging Newton.

They kiss his cheek, stroking his thick hair, checking with Eloise if she was okay with putting Mayan to sleep.

When she says yes, they go back to their bedroom, talking about Edmund, and the huge smile on his face.

"What do you think he's dreaming about?" Anthony asked.

"I think he's dreaming of a world full of french fries and horse racing." Kate replied, as she went ahead to her dressing table, going to start undoing her hairdo.

He laughs and says, as he approaches to help her. "Pall mall and girls."

"He's too young to be thinking about girls." She replied, turning to him.

"I thought about you at his age..." Was his reply.

Kate looks at him enamored, but then, her head drops.

The smile falls from Anthony's face. He lifts her chin with the tip of his finger and affirms with conviction. "Kate, I will never leave alone."

"We both know that it's not our choice…" She replies, going to sit on the sofa, by the window.

"Even if I left this world, I would stay by your side… You know Edwina would be here by your side, if the choice were hers, and… Mary, your grandfather…" It's hard for Anthony to defend them, but for her, he does it… Or he tries. "They love you... If it's hard to deal with their absence...  Imagine… We know what loss does, if we didn't had each other..."

"They have us too." Kate interrupts him.

"I don't know.. if I only had my family, if I hadn't had you by my side, I would have isolated myself too." Anthony ends up confessing, sitting next to her.

"You are stronger than you know, Tony." Kate says, lacing her hands in his.

"You too..." He asserts.

"Not so strong…" Kate's head is down again.

"Just because you miss them this doesn't make you weak... It's okay to wish they were here, sharing of our joy." Anthony says, wanting to bring her gaze back to his, wanting to banish the shadows that inhabited hers.

"I just don't want to have to learn how to be happy without them…" Kate confesses.

"But, if that's their choice…" Anthony says, feeling a tightness in his chest, he didn't want it to be like this, but... Maybe they had to get used to not having Mary or her grandfather in their lives.

Kate knows that Anthony is right, she knows that it was her way of facing everything positively, that made her be here like this today, but, Kate feels that all the time she is forcing herself to cast aside the absence of her Amma, her Grandmama, her Appa, her Tatta, Mary and Edwina…

Every time that something happens… that reminds her of them, it makes her want to share it with them, and, they're not... she knows that with some of them she didn't have any other choice but to deal with it, but, with others... it makes her feel hurt, angry, cast aside… If she didn't have Anthony, the kids, the Bridgertons, she would be utterly alone right now.

She knows that she has to be grateful that this isn't the case, but, at this moment, her grief speaks louder.

She wants to let herself cry in her husband's arms, until her tears run out, allowing herself to bury her face in his chest, and, pouring out how much she misses them.

Her sobs just increase in intensity, and, for a moment, it seems that her pain will never end.

Anthony knows that Kate will forgive them, but, he won't, every tear, every sob, is seared inside him. If before her pain saddened him, if before her pain tore him apart, now.. there are no words to describe what each tremor does to him.

All he wants is to love her, he wants to surround her with his love, constantly, so that she can feel it in every breath, feel it with her always.

He wants to stay here, beside her, giving her a family of her own, making her forget that she ever knew of loneliness.

He brings her closer to him, and, that it's when he feels...

And that it's when she feels it, their baby happily kicking her, in her womb.

This stops the falling of her tears, makes her place her hands on her belly, at the same time as Anthony, and, this brings her to the present.

And just like that, with Anthony's pinky intertwined with hers, she remembers... effortlessly.

No matter how much someone wants to go back to their old life, it's not possible. But, even if her present life wasn't everything that she had dreamed of as a child, it was where she could feel her baby's life growing inside her, it was where she could discover how to move forward, through the eyes of her Anthony.

Chapter Text

The silence stretched between them at each new minute, Mary held Anya in her arms, fascinated, and yet, she didn't utter a word.

Kate fidgeted with her fingers constantly, not knowing how much more she could take.

"She is so beautiful... I can't believe that she has grown so much already." Mary finally spoke.

“If you were here with us… it wouldn't surprise you.” Kate can't stop herself from saying.

Mary looks at her sadly, placing Anya in her carry-cot, bringing it with her, as she gets to her feet.

She places it between them, on the settee where Kate was sitting.

“I know you resent my choice…” Mary begins.

“I don't understand you… I thought you were happy…” Kate cuts her off, watching her, wanting to understand her.

Mary says. “I was… I am… for you. This is not the same as being happy.”

“Mary….” Kate sighs.

“We had talked so much, your father and I, of what it would be like once you grew up, and, when you married… how many children you would have, how mischievous they would be, being from the two of you… Every time that Edmund,…” She gave a ragged sigh “… that Mayan is up to something, all I wanted was to turn to the side, and, comment to him that they are just how he had imagined, but, he isn't there, and… I couldn't take it anymore, especially, because I seemed to be the only one who…”

“Who miss Appa? There isn't a day that goes by, that I don't feel his absence, or Grandmama's, or Amma's, and, if it wasn't bad enough… having to deal with Tatta's absence, now… I have to deal with yours.” Kate says, with less finesse than she'd like.

“At least I didn't left like him, at least you can visit me, and… I visit you…” Mary tries to justify herself, knowing that she is right. But, Kate had already been through so much, if it didn't work out...

“It's not the same thing as you living with us, as you pointed it out yourself. Anya grows at living eyes, every new day there's something new, a new tooth, a new sound, a new attempt to crawl… You're missing all this by choosing to be on your own…” Kate says.

“I am grieving your father…” Mary tries to argue, thinking that Kate will not question such reason.

“Happiness is also a choice…. Do you think I got over all the losses because it stopped hurting, or because I chose to focus on the good…?” Kate insists.

“I'm sorry if I can't brush aside….” Mary says, starting to lose her temper.

“Brush aside? Do you think this is what I've been doing? And you... aren't you brushing aside my pain, Edwina's...?" Kate asks, looking at her dumbfounded. Mary words, her behavior, made her seem like a complete stranger to her.

Mary stands up, the sudden movement nearly waking little Anya.

Kate soothes her, as Mary paces back and forth, opening and closing her hands.

“I am sorry, Kate… I love you… I love my grandchildren, but, you are a grown woman now.. You better than anyone know that parents don't live forever.. It's for the best, you learn to live apart from me." Mary says, almost confessing the real reason behind her decision.

“You are doing this because you truly believe that this is the best for me, or for you? Because, it's neither.” Kate claims, preferring to keep her eyes on her daughter rather than Mary, that was too painful.

Mary stops on her tracks, looking at her in surprise, she has grown so much, matured so much, at becoming a mother, that Mary understands that she will have to confess the truth to her then, or at least part of it. “It's not for the best.. But, sometimes that's life, you solving yourself your matters, doesn't mean that others will too, you not having any problems, doesn't mean that others won’t too.. Sometimes, we have to learn to be happy on our own. Accepting people choices and the circumstances.”

Kate just raises her eyebrow at the irony in her words.

“I know… I know… but, just because I don't apply it in my life, doesn't mean it isn't true. I'm so sorry Kate… the last thing I want in this life is to hurt you, I want you to be the happiest of women, and, I… I'm just going to drag you down, so I walked away. Because.. I can't… I can't be happy, and, I wouldn't forgive myself if I touched the happiness you've finally won back.” Mary tries one more time, hating what she finds in Kate's gaze.

“But, this is not your choice alone to make… And… you are already touching it, with your absence.” Kate replies, heartbroken.

Mary closes her eyes, she knows that in the future she will understand her, so, she ignores the first part, and, says. "When you get used to it, you'll find it won't touch you anymore."

Kate sees that there is no dialogue, no reasoning with her, that Mary will not give in. The tearing pain cuts her deep, and, she stares at her in disbelief... She notices the pallor of her complexion and she wonders, without understanding, for the millionth time, why was she doing this to everyone? To herself?

But, Mary won't give her any answers beyond this, and, Kate realizes is better if she tries to go through other way. “What about Edwina? She does not want to live in the country…”

“You just had a baby, I can't impose…” Mary responds.

“It's not an imposition…” Kate tries once again.

“In.. less than 2 years her season will come, so she will move back in with you.” Mary states.

She was indeed determined… decided to get away from Kate, to wallow in her pain, and, to drag Edwina along. Why… “Why Mary.. what’s wrong? You were happy…. Did something happen that you don't want to tell me about?"

Mary doesn't answer, going back to pacing.

“Mary… I know… I know you blame yourself for me having to shoulder our family's responsibilities alone. If you.. feel that you can't tell me, because of that.. that you can't go on letting Edwina with me, because of that… Mary.. I did what I did, because I love you both.. It saddens me not to have my little sister with me, having you walking away from me… I'd rather you tell me whatever…” Kate pleads.

Mary goes to the window, pressing her lips together in a thin line, stifling her tears.

She wants to tell... but, how can she tell Kate that she is sick, that the doctors couldn't tell if a life in the country would be enough to prevent her death, or if it would just delay it?

How could she make her lose another parental figure? How could she impose Edwina on her, when she had her children already, and, the project with the Queen... Even if she said that Edwina wouldn't be a burden... Mary knows how much raising her sister had cost her...

Edwina... hardly saw her as a sister anymore, but, as a mother instead... Mary couldn't leave, and, let their relationship be destroyed, because she can't take care of her own daughter.

She had to be firm. If she died, this way... with Kate resenting her, she wouldn't feel her loss, and, Edwina... having learned not to be dependent of her sister, and, with her anger at Mary for tearing them apart, she too will move on.. If she recovered...

Her chest constricted and Mary knows that it will be difficult to come back from this, but, she didn't lie when she said that the general happiness made Mayan's absence even more glaring, maybe.. maybe it's better this way, living apart from them, and, alone.

It gives her strength to say. “I already told you my reasons and my decision, Kathani.”

Kate looks at her, and, she can barely blink, feeling a lump in her throat. She wonders if Mary ever really considered her, as she considers Edwina, as a daughter.

Silence stretches between them again, filled with tension.

They hear a light knock on the door, and, it is Anthony who opens it, poking his head through the gap, saying softly. “Afternoon tea is already served, we are just waiting for you…”

“Excellent.. a tea now sounds wonderful.” Mary replies, heading for the door.

Anthony opens it, making room for her to pass, and, once she does, he enters the room, closing the door behind him. “Katie…?”

“I don't think Mary loves me anymore, Tony… Did… I.. did I.. did something to offend her?” Kate asks him quietly, doing her best to not start crying, and, waking Anya up.

Anthony strides over to her, crouching down in front of her, and, taking her hands. “Of course not… All you did was take care of her and Edwina… Why… why would you think such a thing?”

Kate swallows hard, and, Anthony hates the way her lip quivers at the corners. He hates to see one tear trickle down after another, he hates to see the monumental effort that she is making to contain the pain inside her, a vein bulging in her furrowed forehead, as she has to exhale forcibly, over and over again, to make the words come out.

“She says that she is not happy with us, that she prefers to live in the country, with Edwina.. She told me that I will be better off without her….” Kate says, brokenly.

Anthony raised his eyebrows, his mouth opening in confusion, what the fuck….?

Kate laughs, humorless, at the confusion on his face. "She doesn't make any sense, does she..? Unless .. unless she feels this way."

Kate wipes her hands over her face angrily, wiping the tears away.

She stands up, shrugging. “If after all, if she still… I won't stop being happy, because she prefers…. Can you carry Any?”

Anthony nods, picking up the carry-cot, where his daughter was sleeping peacefully, suckling her thumb, not knowing of all that was going on.

Anthony really wanted for Kate to stop caring for who treated her like this, but, as he sees the effort she makes to lift her head, he knows that her words are empty.

🦋

Mary comes out of Edwina's room, flinching at the sound of whatever that she had thrown against the door.

She was vehemently against going back to their country home, and...

Mary gasps, startled to see Anthony appear in front of her.

“Mary.. just the person that I was looking for. Do you care to accompany me for a late night tea, on my study?” He asked her. His tone was kind, but, his eyes were steel hard.

Mary takes a deep breath before nodding.

She goes all the way trying to prepare herself for another battle. God…she was tired.

It seemed that with her absence or presence she couldn't make anyone happy. Perhaps her illness was a blessing after all. Perhaps it would make all this to be over.

Anthony enters the study, indicating an armchair for Mary, near the fireplace, going to serve her a cup of tea, which was already placed on the round table in the center, trying to remain calm.

“Mary…. “ He starts, as he hands her the cup, going to sit in the armchair opposite of hers.

“I've seen Kate go to great lengths to take care of the estates, of her royal duties, of you and Edwina…. How can you be so ungrateful?” He asks, without any preambles.

“It's precisely because I'm grateful, that I'm going back to our country home. Helping with the estates, and, with Edwina….” Mary replies nervously. She didn't expect for him to be so blunt...

But, she should have known better. Kate and Anthony have always been fiercely protective of each other. It was quite amusing to witness, as they grew up, and, something happened, how they banded together, and, defended themselves. Without counting the… countless times when they’d competed, and, teamed up, not letting anyone but themselves or the other win.

Mary tenses up even more. Anthony wouldn't be very considerated, with Mary having disturbed Kate.

“Taking her away from her only sister? Making her feel unloved?” Anthony blurts out, feeling his patience slipping away.

What? Mary swallows hard.. That… wasn’t what she wanted.. It was for her to feel angry and not….

If Kate was hurt... Mary doesn't know if she will have the strength to follow through her decision, even more so because she knows that Anthony will be relentless, she can see the icy fury in his eyes.

“My intention was never to make her feel unloved.. I just saw how happy and settled you were, and, I didn't want to impose my unhappiness…” Mary tries to justify herself, but, the words ring empty even to her own ears.

“What about Edwina?” Anthony asks, pointedly.

“I already explained that Edwina…” Mary insists on the same explanation. What could she say? That her lungs had weakened, and, that a life in the country might or might not make a difference, and, that she was tired? Tired of fighting for a life that she no longer felt that was worth living, and, that she didn't want to drag anyone down with her?

“I have 7 siblings…” Anthony promptly cuts her off. Kate could be stopped by her regards, and pain, but, he wouldn't.

“And 3 children.. And my daughter's place is with me!” Mary replies.

'‘But, not Kate's? And you still don't understand why she feels unloved?" Anthony asked, feeling his anger threatening to surface.

“Kate is already an adult. When your sisters get married, they will leave here, and, go to live with their husbands.” Mary explains.

“But, that's not your case, nor Edwina's…” Anthony says, raising an eyebrow. Would she indeed insist on such preposterous explanations?

“But, that's my choice…” Mary says, wanting to put an end to the conversation.

But, Anthony was just getting started. "Why?"

“How many times do I need to repeat myself?” Mary asked, distressed, blinking successively, trying to disguise her nervousness.

“As many times as it takes to understanding why you have changed, why you are acting like this….” Anthony says, making it clear that he wouldn't let her leave without giving him answers.

“If you don't understand, that's not my problem…” Mary says, trying to change the focus of the conversation.

“You were unhappy with your parents' choice, and, you abandoned them, instead of fighting for the life you wanted, and, now you're unhappy because we moved on with our lives, and, instead of you moving on also, you abandon us. You didn't care about the consequences your escape caused, just as you don't care about the consequences of your choices now... that much is clear. But, if you think I'm going to allow you to keep hurting my wife….” Anthony says, his fury rising at her disdain.

“My parents were monsters! And, I care! All I'm doing is making sure Kate and Edwina are okay after I…” Mary jumps to her feet.

“After you what?” Anthony questions, realizing that, indeed, there was something that she is hiding, and, that she didn't want tell, as he stands up too.

Mary heads for the door urgently.

Anthony takes her wrist. Even though he doesn't pull it, nor does he squeeze it tightly, letting go of it instead, Mary knows, by the look in his eyes, that he won't let her leave without her hearing him.

“You're making a choice, Mary.. A choice, that knowing my wife as I do, you don't have to make.. You may think it's right, that it's your only option.. But, it's not.. not while there is still time. I advise you to change your mind before it is too late.” Anthony informs her, seriously.

His words hangs like a sentence over her head.

Mary knows there is a chance that she will regret it, if she recovers.

But, she heads out of the study anyway. Because she didn't know that she would regret it even if she didn't recover.

Anthony closes his eyes, exhaling with regret, at seeing Mary go.

Even with all the pleads, and, with every opportunity, even by telling her what her actions were doing to Kate and Edwina, still, she deliberately chose to go along with this absurd stance.

Well, very well.. Kate didn't want to be affected by her choices, and, Anthony wants her to be happy, and, he would make sure of that.

Even if it meant leaving Mary out of their lives.

Hearts could break, but not Kate's.

🦋

It was a nice day, butterflies were flying around the flowers. Birds chirped in the distance, the sky was clear and the temperature was warm.

But, what elated Kate most was to look at her husband, chasing Mayan and Edmund through the maze, their childish laughter mingling with his.

Seeing them so happy, seeing the wind ruffling his hair and the sun illuminating his eyes, delights her.

She held Anya in her arms, feeling herself full of love. All she wants is to spend her life like this, surrounded by her loved ones, loving them and being loved by them.

All she wants is to be able to look at her Anthony, her husband, the father of her children, her best friend, her great love, and, continue to find in her the desire to love him more and more.

She couldn't have chosen anyone better. He is the nicest man there is.

He would look at her, and, she would forget of everything that troubled her, banishing her loneliness away, illuminating the shadows within her, making her believe, as usual, that no matter what, with a love like theirs, they would be alright.

Anthony sees her, the sun shines on her skin and hair, the wind shakes her lehenga, and, his daughter stretches her little hands towards her, fascinated by her cheek, and, Kate opens a smile... Her happiness fills him, like nothing else could.

He loves Kate, fiercely. He wants to love her, more and more, at each new day. He couldn't have anyone better than her by his side, she's the best person there is, he knows.

He knows when he sees her carefully remove the lock of hair from her hand, that their daughter had grabbed, distracting her with the faces she made. His wife, his best friend, the mother of his children, his great love.

He knows it, at seeing her choosing them, their love, their family every day. He just wants for her to choose herself as well, for her to only value those who values her as well.

He looks at the flower beds, near the maze, and, his eyes wander to Kate once more.

Their eyes meet, and, they fall in love all over again, just like that first day, except that now he falls for her sweetness and she falls for his tenacity.

What doesn’t change, however, was him robbing a flower from their gardens, to give to her, a habit that he still had, even after all this years.

When he gives the tulip to Kate, she leans in, kissing him, feeling as in love, as the first time, wanting to stay in his love forever.

🦋

Edwina's season had arrived, along with Francesca's, who had been elected the diamond of the season, and, had not taken long to accept the proposal of John Stirling, a Scottish Earl.

Edwina… seemed even more unhappy about it than the family, not that everyone wasn't happy for her, but, the fact that she was going to live so far away made her engagement something bittersweet to them all.

But, there was something about her sister that Kate still couldn't quite put her finger on, that made her seem at odds with the world.

She was so excited, at arriving, playing with her children, but then, Kate would join them, and, her face would fell, the same thing happened when they were strolling at the gardens, and, someone joined them, or when Francesca got engaged.

Kate thought that she felt alone with Mary, and, that Edwina loved being able to be among so many people again, and, that when she found herself being alone again, after all she was no longer sharing her season with Francesca, she was bothered. The same would happen when someone would finally give their attention to her, only for her to see it being diverted by someone else.

But, every time she tried to talk to Edwina about it, she said that it wasn't easy being just with Mary, but, that now that she was here with her, and she soon would find a fiancé, and she would have a family of her own, that everything would be different.

And, there was something in her voice, like she was dismissing the subject, in the way she turned her attention to the next ball they were going to, or her dress, that Kate couldn't quite put her finger on it, but, she knew that this was what was bothering her.

It was like her Bon had not come back at all. She seemed a person on a mission, and, she was not letting anything or anyone get in the way of it. Kate was eager for having her back, but, she barely spent any time alone with her.

She tried not to interfere with her courtship, after all, she wanted her sister to find love and be happy, but, it was difficult.

It was difficult because she only wanted the best for her, and, Edwina wouldn't talk to her, and, she felt like an outsider. Kate didn't know what exactly she was looking for anymore.

She didn't even mention marrying for love anymore, like she used to. It looked like that she just wanted to get away from Mary's authority, and, not for the first time, Kate wondered if she shouldn't have used her own authority as a Princess to keep Edwina with them.

But, after having become a mother…. And seeing that Mary was finally interested in Edwina again, Kate couldn't do it.

She sighs, at seeing Edwina dancing with Mr. Bagwell, looking completely smitten by him.

"She went back to dancing with that scholar… “ She explains, to the question in Anthony’s eyes, indicating the dance floor, of the ball where they were.

Kate sips her lemonade, staring at them, looking as if she had sucked a lemon instead.

“When Daphne found herself in a similar position, you told me to trust her…. “ Anthony started, beside her, staring at them as well.

"Daph married a Duke! Edwina wants to marry a philosopher! He'll bore her to death!" She replies irritably, placing the empty glass on a table nearby.

Anthony knows Kate, he knows that it is not the philosopher that worries her, but, Edwina's behavior. That what bothers her is the fact that she doesn't know what is driving her sister to favor him.

But, Anthony could see, that even though Edwina behaved so unlike the young woman of old, that she beamed in the arms of… "Bugwell is a good man…" He tried to placate her.

"You don't even know his name." Kate murmurs, not taking her eyes off of the dance floor.

“Edwina is in love, Katie.. I know you worry, but, she is beaming.” Anthony tries again.

“She is beaming because she is in love, or because she won’t have to live with Mary any longer?” She replies.

Anthony sighs.

They will have a long season ahead of them.

🦋

And a long season indeed they were having.

“You already took me away from Kate and now you want to take me away from my grandparents? I'm already 18 years old and I'm not going to let you control my life anymore... You don't have any power over me anymore!" Edwina was screaming at the top of her lungs.

Everyone in the house could hear her revolt.

Newton ran to the gardens, joining Mayan and Edmund, who were playing there with Violet.

Kate carried a feisty Anya, who had woken up from her nap, upon hearing Edwina quarrel with Mary for the countless time.

Kate enters their study, rocking Anya, exhaling with relief when she realizes that Edwina and Mary's screams were muffled there, due to the distance.

She hopes that she can get her youngest to calm down there.

Anthony rises, at seeing the stress in her countenance, reaching out to their daughter, cradling her in his chest, close to his heart, and, it soothes her.

He smiles at that, the same way their sons were always clinging to Kate, just like him, their daughter liked to hear his heartbeats, just like her mother.

Shortly after, upon seeing that she was back to napping, he asks in a whisper. “Why are they fighting?

“Because the Sheffields have sent Edwina a letter saying that they want to meet her and her betrothed.” She says, equally quietly.

Kate is enraptured to see how Anya calmed down in her husband's arms. Taking this moment of peace and quiet to breath.

She comes closer, stroking her little head. Anya yawns and settles into Anthony's arms.

"I thought they had casted Mary out and that they didn't want to know anything more about her." He replied, confused.

“They've been trying to relink their connection to her for years, ever since they found out we are royalty.” Kate says, bitter.

Adding then. "Mary wants to convince Edwina that they don't mean well, but, since she has never told Edwina anything, she's willing to give them a chance, and, now they won't stop arguing."

"At least she's not running away to Albania." He is who speaks bitterly now.

"Colin decided to go to Albania?" Kate asks, in astonishment.

"Ever since the whole fiasco with Lady Crane, all he do is run away." He answers.

“Are you sure that's all it is…? Edwina's wedding its still some time away, but, Fran's its upon us... El pulled away from Penelope Featherington last season, and, she doesn't seem to be the only one..." Kate comments.

“Do you think the reason he barely stops at home is Penelope Featherington?” Anthony asks, with a note of disbelief.

"There has to be a greater reason for him to risk not making it in time." Kate replies. "At least we know Ben will come."

Anthony snorts. “If it were up to him, he and Sophie would never leave their cottage. At least they are happy.”

“Did you notice too? How Mary is paler and thinner? She seems to have aged so much in these few years… I asked Edwina if she isn't sick, as Mary won't tell me anything, no matter how much I insist..” Kate comments unhappily.

Anthony makes a face. “I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to insist anymore…”

“Would you give up if she was Violet?” Kate asks, what she has asked him countless times.

And Anthony answers her, what he has already answered countless times. “No one in my family, no matter how bad our disagreement is, would behave with such…”

“Disregard?” Kate replies bitterly. She hated having to agree with such an argument. She hated to love them so much, and, not being able to do anything. To know that, perhaps.. Even if she could.. that could be the wrong answer.

And Anthony knows. He sighs when he sees her face, her downcast posture, and asks. “What did Edwina say?”

“That she just had a cold, a couple of months ago, that her complexion it is like this, because she is still recovering.” Kate says.

Both sigh, and, look at each other.

Their gazes already said everything they need to know, about the weight and responsibility they carried.

“It is harder and harder, isn't it? As our siblings grow older and we have children of our own, we must increasingly give our children our attention and interfere less and less with our siblings, as they are becoming their own people, and, we must let them bear the burden of the consequences of their choices. Our mamas as well…” Kate says.

“But, we never stop wanting to be able to do something, because we love them, and, because we are the heads of our family.” He agrees.

Kate stares out the window for a long time before saying. “Whatever you decide to do with Colin I will support you, my love.”

“And whatever you decide to do about the Sheffields I will support you.” He says.

They look at each other, while their hands intertwine, and, it's enough for them to find everything they need in each other, they know that no matter what comes, as long as they are together, they will be unstoppable.

🦋

Mary looks at the dance floor. Penelope Featherington laughed, dancing  with Colin, drawing disgusted looks from her parents.

How long have Mary not seen them? There was a time when she walked away from them, never looking back, no matter what the consequences.

And meeting Mayan had only fueled the fire that drove her, but then, she'd lost him, and, her will to live had gone with him also.

Mary didn't realize how much she gave into her pain, not even when she got sick, or her condition worsened, but, it's only now, at seeing the contrast between who she was and who she is that she understands.

At seeing the understanding dawn on her daughter's face, realizing that her parents were actually interested in getting to know Kate and not her, and yet, Edwina doesn't come to her.

Kate doesn't come to her, dancing with her children, laughing as they try to spin her around, just as Anthony did to Anya, who danced with her feet over his, beaming.

Mary feels that she will no longer be able to hold back her tears, and, she leaves the ballroom.

Her grandchildren were so grown up, her daughters so far removed from her, she soon would no more be part of this world, and, she had wasted the time that she had, throwing away so many precious moments.

Guilt rises in her throat, along with the bile, and, she leans against the wall.

“Mam.. Mary?” She hears Kate's voice.

And, her hesitation... the fact that she doesn't call her Mama anymore... what had she done?

"Are you well?" Kate asked, not coming close, even though her concern was evident.

"I'm… I just needed some air." Mary replies, leaning back against the wall.

Gods. How it hurt to see Kate battling with her wills, fighting against her heart. It was as clear as day, how much she wanted to come to her, but, after everything Mary had done, she was still at the same place, near the door.

What had she done? Mary asks herself again. She had hurt Edwina, she had hurt Kate, and, she didn't know if Edwina still loved her, but, Kate did, and, all Mary had done was to waste the little time they had together, was to add more pain, instead of alleviating it.

But, what could she do now? The milk was already spilled.

Kate had seen Mary leave Francesca's wedding celebration, and, she looked so unwell, that even though Kate knew Mary no longer wanted her near, she still cared, and, she couldn't stop herself from following her.

At seeing her leaning against the wall, at seeing the way she was looking at her now, Kate felt something very bad inside her, and, suddenly all she wanted to do was cry like a child and ask: what was wrong? What had she done that was so bad that even though Mary was clearly in need of help, she still refused to accept it from Kate? How… why had they gotten to this point?

Kate tilts her head... Anthony was indeed right, coming after Mary only hurt her. She needed to learn how to put her priorities straight.

“Well, then… I will leave you to it…” She says, weakly, turning to leave, when she hears it.

“Kate…!”

It stops her, but, the pain prevents her from turning around.

"I'm so sorry that I walked away from you, that I pushed Edwina away from you, it was a mistake… Now, looking back, I see that I should have taken every opportunity and lived to the fullest, even with…" Mary says, with urgency.

"Even with?" Kate turns, feeling that dreadful feeling intensify.

"Your father used to instigate me to live, and without him, I was lost. Promise me that whatever happens, you won't get lost.. you'll enjoy every moment, and, live to your fullest." Mary pleads, approaching her.

Kate doesn't like this conversation, she doesn't like how she seems to be saying goodbye. “Mary.. why are you talking like this?”

“For… nothing… I just wanted to apologize. I just want you to promise me. Promise me that you will make sure Edwina does the same.” Mary says.

Kate stared at her for a long time, what kind of apology was this? Why wouldn't she talk to Edwina? Why did she say it like this, as if she didn't have the chance to get close to them again? What did this all mean?

Kate... she wants so much to hug her, and, say that it's okay, that it is enough for her to be here from now on... But, she can't... She can't because everything wasn't okay... Mary’s absence had hurt her, and, she doesn't know what's behind her words.

How much had she not deluded herself over the years? With a smile, a caress, a period of time where she was more present? And then... Mary was gone once more.

Kate feels like her heart is at war. Her will to love her was almost as strong as her will to spare herself.

But, after all, Kate can't stay… She just nods, whether to signal that she promises, or if to let in that for once she's choosing herself over a loved one, she doesn't know.

The expression on Mary's face… so pained, shatters her.

It shatters Mary… to see her walk away from her, so devastated, as if she could not come to her anymore. What had she done? She asks herself again.

She wants to run after Kate, and, tell her everything, and, beg for her forgiveness. Mary wants to tell her that she loves her. She wants to hear her say, at least one last time, that she loves her too.

Mary closes her eyes, feeling a tear trickle down on her face, remembering of when little Kathani had told her that she loved her for the first time.

They were gardening, and, Mary had braided flowers on her hair. She had loved so much the result, that she had jumped in her arms, telling how much she loved Mary.

Mary had done a promise to Kathani's mother on that day, that she would take care of her, as Anya would, but then.. Mayan was gone, and, all Mary did was fail her, again and again.

Kate never hesitated in doing everything in her power for her loved ones, but, today, for the first time, Mary saw her choosing herself. So instead of going after her, she stays where she is.

Kate walks to her bedroom feeling like she's out of her body.

Being an adult wasn't simple, if all the losses she had suffered had already shown her that to be happy it was necessary to make peace with the pain, being a mother had taught her that sometimes for the greater good, you had to draw lines and say no.

But, Kate still didn't understand why doing what was right hurt so much, why simply focusing on everything returning to be alright eventually wasn't enough anymore.

Kate feels lost.

🦋

It was on an ordinary day of the week… Anthony had returned from a diplomatic meeting for the afternoon tea, craving to smell his wife's scent, to hear the laughter of his children.

But, what greets him instead is Kate, as still as a statue, in one of the house's many white hallways, reading a letter, her expression frozen.

Anthony feels an immediate dread stir inside him, and, he strides towards her, concern written all over his face, but, before he can reach her, she falls forward, screaming.

Her wail of pain freezes him in place, momentarily, and, then, he runs to her, but, Kate is inconsolable.

She was screaming, she was crying, and, through the gaps of her despair he could discern: 'Mary!'

Kate is nothing.

She opens the letter, and, everything empties inside her, the words echoing inside her until they no longer fit inside her.

Kate is everything.

Everything fills her at once, the memories, the laughter, the tears, everything that was, everything that could be, everything that can no longer be.

She is anger, she is love, she is longing.

She is longing…

Goddesses, she is nostalgia.

She is the child who had a mother again, and, was enchanted by the flowers that Mary had entwined in her hair.

She is the teenager, who could confide her dreams to Mary, while they made their gardens even more flowery.

She is the young adult who's lost countless nights of sleep, wondering when she would get Mary back.

She is a mother who saw the light return to Mary's eyes and dared to believe that her life could still be everything that she had ever dreamed of.

She is the Kate who reads the letter, informing her that Mary had died in her sleep.

She is the Kate who reads the letter that Mary had left her, explaining that she had become ill, shortly after Mayan was born, and, that she didn't knew if she would recover, and, that she didn't wanted to impose another loss on Kate.

She is the Kate who wants to laugh at the irony that in order to not make her suffer without her, that was all Mary had imposed on her, again and again, over the last few years.

She is the Kate who wants to hit her head against the floor, and, obliterate everything, every dream that she now knows that will never be...

They would never be, if she was honest.. They were over by the time her Amma was gone, but, when Mary came into her life, she thought.. She thought she might still have a resemblance of that life still.

But, she wouldn't have any of her parents by her side, for the rest of her life, watching her and her children grow up.

No more laughter, no more gardening, no more dreams… Why could it not be no more pain as well?

Kate thinks she's screaming, she thinks Anthony came to her, she thinks he took her into their bedroom, when the kids came to them, scared to see what was going on.

But, Kate isn't sure.

All she knows is that she has lost Mary.

All she knows is that she has lost a part of herself with her.

Now she is no longer a daughter.

Who she is, what she thought her life was going to be, they shatter, without giving her the slightest chance to hold them in her hands.

She looks at them, and, to the floor, between the spaces of her fingers, she wonders what parts of her got smeared over it?

What could she still get back? What parts could she still piece together?

Maybe none..

It's then that she understands... Mary's absence spelling out what has been there for years, she's been clinging to wisps of smoke all this time... from long-burned bridges.

Mary's death, her letter, only dispelled them, leaving her with the truth, that all this time she had been chasing an illusion.

It freezes everything inside her, and, she goes back to being nothing.

A void... ready to be filled...

With what? Kate asks herself again and again…

With what?

What now?

What?

She doesn't know where else to go, or what to do, so Kate doesn't move anymore.

🦋

Anthony watches a practically catatonic Kate, feeling completely terrified and lost.

Their love had always told them which way to go, and, after they've got married, he understood that there was more than love to make a marriage successful, that dialogue, respect, trust were needed, and, it was clear now, that it took more than love to live well.

He is a man of action, and, for the first time in his life he finds himself at a loss, not knowing what to do.

He doesn't know how to help her.

He doesn't know how to calm their children, who were crying for Mary, and, for Kate.

And now… He looks at the damned letter in his hand, wanting to crumple it and throw it in the fire.

God... How could he give it to Kate?

Holy shit!

How could Mary have hidden such a thing from them?

How can Edwina not come back from her honeymoon for the burial?

Screw it that she was worried about Kate!

Damn it, that she cannot make it in time!

His wife, his love, his best friend was…

The image of Kate staring at the space, one tear trickling after another, her expression blank, invades his mind and he feels the bile rise in his throat.

The memory of how her body shook with the force of her sobs, of the way she was short of breath, and, her head dropped on the floor, and, she seemed so lost and completely out of his reach…. Screaming and screaming and… Anthony knows there won't be a day in his life when he won’t be haunted by the moment Kate read that damned letter.

And now… he had another one of those damn letters in his hands!

How could they be so selfish?

How could Mary choose to walk away from Kate, knowing what she was doing to Kate, knowing that she wouldn't have much time left...? If Anthony was… if he knew… If it was him instead of her… Anthony can't even think about such thing.

The mere idea of leaving her alone is unbearable for him. He exhales hard, closing his eyes, pressing his lips into a thin line, feeling his entire body tense.

Anthony decides to focus on the problem at hand instead…. He understands that Mary and Edwina haven't gotten along for a long time, but, all Edwina has wanted for years was to be with them, and, now.. that Kate needs her sister with her,  she's still on her honeymoon...

Even if she wasn't going to make it in time, still... Even if she still resented Mary... This wasn't just about her, it was about the whole family, and, after everything Kate had done for her...

Anthony looks back at Kate, curled up on the sofa by the window, looking as small as she did when they were kids.

My God, she barely ate, or spoke.. the kids were the only ones who could get any reaction out of her and now….

"I assume that the reason you've been standing in the doorway all this time is because Edwina won’t come for the burial…" Kate said, still looking out the window, bitterly.

Anthony's heart sinks into his chest.

Kate smiled unhappily, her lips then quilled.

And Anthony felt his breath hitch, nodding in spite of himself.

Kate then looks out the window again, there were no more tears she can shed.

Edwina wouldn't come. Of course, with everything that had gone on between her and Mary it was to be expected.

If anything was evident during her stay with them, it was how much they had grown apart, and, how much she craved to live her own life.

But, Kate still had a hard time in accepting that her only sister wouldn't be there with her, in such a difficult hour.

She can't help but be shocked... When all became lost?

She wonders for the millionth time if she shouldn't have moved on with her life, as she had intended all those years ago, if choosing herself would spare her this pain now, as Mary wanted.

She asks herself for the millionth time if she shouldn't have pushed her harder, if she shouldn't… what? She didn't know… Kate had done her best, and, it seemed, that her best wasn't enough.

It hadn't been enough to make Tatta stay, or to make Edwina come back, or to make Mary tell her the truth.

For the first time, Kate fears the future.

They had so little control over it, and, if her best was insufficient.. How… She shakes her head, feeling the tears start to wet her face again.

“Katie?” Anthony asks her softly, sitting beside her, taking her hands in his.

"My dreams are gone." Kate whispers, letting her head fall forward.

Anthony feels something twist inside him, and, grip around his heart, making him ache for her.

His Kate was his sun, she was the one who taught him to believe, to… "You wanted for girls to study, and, you did it, Katie. You wanted a family, and, a life surrounded by flowers, and… joy, and.. you did it. You did it. You are even as tall as I am.” He tries to play with her, seeking to cheer her up.

"But, Mary, Tatta.. Edw…" She replies, equally crestfallen.

“It's true… They won't be with us as we wished, but, we can have new dreams, and, who said that they can't be as good or better?” Anthony asks, not giving up. He will never give up of her happiness.

"But... it doesn't seem fair.” Kate says quietly.

"That's life. There's so much beyond our control." Anthony tells her.

But, Kate keeps looking into the space, and, in silence.

"It was you who taught me about hope, Kate. With you by my side, the sun will always be shining in our days.." Anthony keeps trying.

"What if we're not…?" Kate asks, despondently.

Anthony feels that fear of Kate having to live all alone, that has awakened inside him, since Mary started to walk away from Kate, taking Edwina with her, to wake up once more. But, he sets it aside, prioritizing his wife. "I already told you, no matter the dimension we find ourselves in, whatever life in which I find myself in, I will be by your side... All I wanted, all I want, all I will ever want is to love you."

He cups her face, speaking tenderly. "A love like ours has no end... You taught me that pain comes and goes, that happiness comes and goes. It will knock on our door again, Katie. And, regardless, our love will stay. You taught me this too.."

He sighs then. “He was wrong to go, Edwina is wrong in not coming back, Mary was wrong in not to tell, to walk away, but, she did it out of love, and, you can have it, you can keep her love with you, Kate… After my father died, all I did was relive that horrible moment, don't do that to yourself, try to live in the here and now. Try to stay with that love. Huh?"

Kate looks at him, and, in the depths of his eyes there is so much love, that that yearning to love him, to stay here, with him, spreads through everything she is. In that moment, Kate loves him, with her soul, with her heart, with every particle of who she is.

"I don't know what I would do without you, Anthony… I know that many times I'm not as expressive as you… “ She begins.

"You express it in the way you are there for me on a daily basis, whenever you smile when you wake up and see me, with the lilies that are always on my table, with the little notes hidden around the house for me to find, with the chai that you bring me, without me even asking, in the little kiss you give on my cheek, whenever our paths cross, with the love I find in your eyes… And that's enough.. I'm a man of action, after all. ” He says, smiling.

And that brings a wan smile from her, the first one after everything, and, something burns inside Anthony, a yearning to stay here, and, to love her, and, to be the one who makes her happy.

"I am the one who finds everything in your eyes, Anthony. If there were a thousand dimensions, I would find you in each one of them, and, I would say yes to you in each one of them, because there isn't a version of you that I don't love, Tony. Without you, I wouldn't know what it's like to live, my life would be colorless, and, nothing would be worth it…" She says, earnestly.

She sighs.. "It's just that I... I feel so lost.. I always focused on the rainbow after the storm, but, with everything.. now..."

Anthony understands her. “No storm lasts forever, Kate. We will see the sun shine in our lives again.”

Kate nods, giving a half smile.

Anthony smiles again, passing the tip of his finger, through the corner of her lips, saying. “See? It's already starting to show up."

Kate settles on his lap. Sadness still plagued her, but there, listening to his heartbeat, her pain went silent.

Anthony shelter her in his arms, and there, feeling her chest rising and falling, as she breathed, his fears went back to sleep.

🦋

Kate had accepted that Mary wanted to live a life apart from her a long time ago, and, she had accepted her terms, as it was the only way to keep her in her life.

But, the more she was absent, the more the lack of her became acute within Kate.

Her emptiness being filled by tears that she never shed.

Until now.

She doesn't seem to be able to react in any other way anymore.

Since Kate lost her grandmama, all she'd done was look at the rainbow after the storm, so she could navigate it. So much so, to the point that she became able to ignore it.

But, now, the storm would not pass, the rainbow didn't come, and, she was having to learn how to deal with this pain, with everything that she had ignored through the years, about what Mary had done, what she had chosen, what she hadn't told Kate… her death.

The fact that Kate could never again see her walking through the door, smiling, or just standing beside her…

She doesn't know how to make peace with this anger anymore..

But, all she can think about is how much of a person's focus, how they dealt with what happened to them, how their choices have shaped their lives.

It is so easy… so easy to get lost in titles and duties and meetings and balls and forget of what really matters, that it is loving, caring, experiencing, and, living.

Kate resented her Tatta for leaving in the moment that he had left, but, she was no longer an 18-year-old, but, a woman of 34.

She doesn't know how much longer he will live.

They had been rehearsing a trip to India for years now. But, there was always something important to deal with… But, the truth is that they would always have something to deal with, if they waited for everything settling down, instead of making it happen, her Tatta could no longer be alive.

That makes her turn to Anthony, on a chilly November night, just as he was drifting off to sleep, his eyelids heavy, making it difficult for him to keep them open to look at her, as she turned in his embrace to face him.

“Tony, I believe that it is time for us to go to India.” She tells.

It wakes him immediately. Anthony had been tormented ever since he had witnessed Kate being embraced by silence and solitude.

He doesn't know how to move forward without this fear of leaving her alone..

Was suffering so much loss just how life is, or something beyond that? They always had their love, but now… it wasn't like it wasn't enough, but, its presence alone wasn't enough. They needed to deal with this storm in a different way, to mature. Maybe going to India would be the head start of something new, so that they could do it.

So… Anthony agrees.

🦋

Anthony holds his pen over his list, without noticing the ink smearing on the paper, his mind elsewhere altogether.

Hyacinth was not far away from being presented to society, Gregory was at Eton, Colin was not far from marrying Penelope, and, Sophie was soon to give birth to her first child. Just like Francesca.

She had sent a letter telling the family that she was pregnant, and, everyone was beaming at the news, the family was getting ready to go visit her, close to the date of the child's birth.

Anthony was thinking about this, as he went over his appointments for his next diplomatic meeting, thinking of all that he would have to do in advance, so that he could travel in peace.

He muses on how badly they needed good news, after all that had happened with Mary's death, with Edwina still not returning, and, with Kate losing herself in grief.

Knowing that the family was fine while they are away, knowing that what had happened was just life, marked by Mary's choices, would give him the strength he needed to continue facing his fears, and, embarking on this new journey with a peaceful heart, rather than a tormented one.

That's when Humboldt knocked on the door of the study, informing him that an urgent letter was sent.

Anthony doesn't even wait for him to come in, getting up, and, finding him at the door, taking the letter in his hands, feeling a tightness in his chest, when he saw that it was sent by John's mother.

Kate finds it strange that Anthony didn't come to their bed, she knows he was worried about having all the important matters resolved before their travel, but, he wasn't used to staying up all night taking care of the pending issues, unless it was an emergency.

She leaves their bedroom, putting her peignoir in the hall, going down the stairs as quietly as she can due the hour, going to their study.

She enters without knocking on the door and she feels her heart jump in her throat, at seeing him sobbing, with his hands on his face, his elbows resting on the table.

She runs to him, kneeling beside him, and, hugging him, asking urgently. “What is it, beloved? What happened?"

“Life really is a breath, Kate.” It's all that he tells her.

Anthony is devastated.. Francesca… her unborn baby, her husband… So young, and, his sister… having to deal with such fate, apart from her family. It devastate him.

Why their lives kept being touched by such tragedies? Would this ever stop? When? He can no longer keep his fear at bay, not when they do not seem to find their calm in this storm.

When she sees the letter telling about John having passed away and Francesca having lost their baby, she weeps along him, holding him tight.

Gods… when would this fucking storm end? She wonders, feeling his pain as her own.

It torments her.. his suffering, Fran’s… To know that she is without them by her side. It makes her hug him closer, and, kiss the side of his head.

“Kate… can you hold me tighter?” He then asks, weakly, and, she brings him closer to her and hugs him even tighter, wanting to comfort him, wanting for him to not know of such pain. Wanting to be there for him, as he has been, in every of her steps.

Thinking about how no matter where you come from, time forgives no one.

Chapter Text

Anthony looks at the garden, where Eloise is reading a book, but instead of seeing her immersed in her studies, with her usual dedication to the project of educating girls, which had given her a solution to her lack of interest in getting married, he notices her looking up from her book at every 5 minutes, to look at Francesca.

Anthony sighs, leaning a hand on the windowpane, Francesca… when they'd lost their father, she had not uttered a single word for months, but now… now it seemed to be even worse, because she talked, and, ate, and, continued to do her duties, but she looked alive only in body still.

It shocked Anthony that what gave him hope was the way she couldn't face her youngest nephew, how she fled from the purlieus whenever Sophie arrived with Charles. But, those were the only moments where her eyes expressed any emotion, demonstrating that there was still some life within her.

They had postponed the trip to India once again, after what had happened, and even after more than a year passing, Kate still hadn't suggested that they should go.

And, Anthony knows it's because of Francesca's behavior… And, Edwina’s. Since she had amended her honeymoon with a work trip, saying it was an opportunity of work that her husband could not miss, and she said the same thing about the next one, and the next one.

He knows that Kate values fraternal relationships, and that she would like to have her sister with her, and that she doesn't want to keep him away from his, at such a critical moment.

This just makes Anthony's heart ache even more. He wants to be there for his family, what happened to Francesca... after everything, it tore him apart.

It broke his heart to see another loved one go through such a loss, and, once again, there was nothing that he could do.

Having a loved one in such a helpless situation was his nightmare, and he was still troubled by the possibility of more tragedies touching them, more tragedies touching him, and, he ending leaving Kate and their children alone.

Before, he could have sworn that no matter what happened, Kate would carry on, beaming like the sun, but now... Anthony knows that she has been dealing with a lot, for quite some time now, and that no one is made of iron.

There is so much sadness and grief that someone can put aside, by always focusing on the brighter side of things, there is a moment when it is necessary to feel the pain stuck in your chest, he knows.. but, if she...

Kate wasn't just his friend, his wife, his love, Kate is his air and his whole life, if he loses her somehow... He doesn't believe he would be able to persevere, and that torments him even more.

He doesn't know how to stop such events from overtaking them, and he doesn't know how to keep them happy.

Anthony sighs, passing a hand over his face, then letting it hang over the window glass, his eyes closed, as the cold glass contrasts with the heat of his skin.

It's then that he hears, the laughter of his nephews and nieces, reaching along Daphne and Simon's... They had produced child after child over the years, Daphne seemed almost as set as Gregory to have a family as big as their parents'.

Fortunately, although Francesca still recoils from little Charlie, she doesn't do it with her older nieces and nephews, and, at seeing her rise to greet them, the ghost of a smile on her lips, gives him hope again.

It seemed like those were the only feelings he could feel lately, fear and hope, in an endless loop that exhausted him. Maybe that was why he and Kate couldn't be the calm in each others storm lately, because they'd been filled by an endless turmoil.

They'd grown so used to being just the two of them, that sometimes it was easy to forget that there was a time when they didn't know each other, or that they faced something on their own, it was hard to see each other as just Kate,  as just Anthony.

Anthony grimaces, turning away from the window, and going to sit in the high chair, behind the mahogany desk. He had learned to deal with the mishaps of life alone, but loneliness had been his companion in those times, even with his father being still alive, and he having become Simon's friend.

He had missed Kate, as if she were a part of him, and her absence had left him with an emptiness in his chest. The void was only filled when he had loved her without any restrictions.

They were a package, wherever Kate went, Anthony followed. They've always been like this, and, they always will be. Maybe that was the answer, Anthony wondered... Maybe they focused so much on their pain, on their fear, that they had lost focus on their love.

Maybe, if they didn’t suppress the turmoil, but face it with their love guiding them, as always, maybe they could get back to peace, maybe, maybe they could get out of this storm.

Anthony runs his hand over his forehead again, resting his elbows on the table, feeling something loosen in his chest, there was nothing he wanted more than to simply love her. The more he shared his life with her, the more thirsty he was to do so.

He hears a light knock on the door, and then, he sees her beloved face passing through the doorway, and his heart races like the first time.

They look at each other for a moment, and then Kate says. “Daph and Simon are already here, to take care of that matter….”

He nods, and then she opens the door, letting them in.

“Brother!” Daphne exclaims, jovially.

“Bridgerton!” Simon says, closing the door behind him.

“Sister! Hastings! It’s good to see you!” Anthony says, as he stands up, going to greet them.

He gives Daph a kiss on the cheek, and then he hugs Simon, before sitting back, pulling Kate onto his lap, kissing the side of her neck, eliciting a sigh from her, which reaches his ear and makes him shiver.

“Stop.. we are not alone!” Kate says, softly.

“Since when you care about that?” Anthony asks, frowning.

“Since even our children have caught us in the act!” Kate exclaims, rolling her eyes affectionately at him.

And that just makes him lean his head forward, and, give a lingering peck on her lips.

Simon clears his throat.

While Daphne smiles at them, and, says. “I am glad to see you im more lifted spirits, just like Fran…”

Both Anthony and Kate just nod.

“I hope Mama's birthday helps us all to have a good time, and to forget, even if for a moment, everything we've been having to deal with lately.” Daphne continued to talk.

“Yes… According to Hya, Violet loves fancy-dress balls so much, because of one she attended in her youth. She confessed to her, when Hya was reading to her, and Lady Danbury, a novel.” Kate informed.

Simon laughs. “Yes… Hy sent a very enthusiastic letter to us about that.”

"Be glad that she didn't make you read the bloody book." Anthony told, with a grimace.

Kate laughs, before saying. “She thinks Violet would like a party similar to the one described in the book, I'll get it….”

“I'll go with you…” Daphne said, - while Kate stood up - eyeing Simon, before stepping through the door behind her.

Anthony points to the large chair in front of his desk, saying. “I imagine my sister wants you to talk to me.”

Simon laughs again. “You've been married longer than I have, old friend. You know when they eye you like this…”

Anthony just nods, with an amused smile.

Kate looked at him like that when she was irritated, when she wanted something, well... He cleared his throat, trying to stop his mind from wandering to certain places.

Simon's smile fades from his face, giving way to seriousness. "When we first met, all you talked about was Kate and your family, I couldn't relate back then, but now… Anthony, my friend… I am sorry, for how I handled the whole Daph situation.. I should have told you this a long time ago.”

"You make my sister happy…" Anthony tries to dismiss the subject.

But, Simon persists. "Still... I didn't understand it back then, but I understand it now... The weight that's on your shoulders. What it means to have to bear that much responsibility for years on end, with no rest."

Anthony just stares at his hands, clasped together on the table.

“You and Kate have been through a lot. You deserve, just like Kate, a breather… Restart your plans for your travel to India, yes? Go in peace, Daph and I will take care of the family while you are there.” Simon says.

“So you two are trying to get rid of us?” Anthony replies jocularly, otherwise he feels like he might burst into tears.

His family support meant the world to him. Maybe that was why he feared so much for Kate... But, Anthony knows that they would be there for her, in the case something happening to him, and, his friend's joking phrase only confirms it.

“You… hm… maybe when you are competing.”

This draws a chuckle from Anthony.

“You can’t deny that you get quite insufferable… But, Kate? Nah… Never!” He stated, his playful attitude being replaced by a heartfelt manner.

If someone asked them, they would deny it, but, Anthony cried like a baby afterwards.

🦋

As they entered Kate and Anthony's bedroom, Daphne began to pace around, feigning interest in something here and there.

While Kate got the book, which she had hidden in her closet, in case Violet came in there for some reason. She wanted to avoid her finding suspicious that Kate was reading the same book as Hyacinth.

It was already being an ordeal to hide the surprise party, with the Ton being so gossipy, they couldn't fool around at home.

"So… Edwina will come?" Daphne asked, bluntly.

Kate shrugged, feeling her sister's absence weigh on her, before speaking. “I invited her, but, if she will deign us with the air of her grace…”

Daphne sits on the chaise lounge opposite their bed, holding out her hands for Kate to come and sit beside her.

Kate walks over to her, and begrudgingly sits. She was tired of talking about it… if she was honest with herself, she was tired of even thinking about it.

Edwina spliced from one trip to another, claiming that by the time she found out about something, there was no more time for her to come, and, to be able to do something, and, that her husband's work trips were fundamental for him to grow in his profession, and, to be able to give them and their children a comfortable future.

Which was ridiculous, since, as much as they were on different financial terms, she was the sister of a Princess! No door would be closed to them! Besides… Colin had married Penelope not long after Edwina had married Bagwell, and even though they decided to have children only later, and, travel around the world before, they had managed to be here for her when she'd lost Mary, and for Fran when she'd lost her husband and baby.

Even though Francesca, having a hard time at seeing Sophie's pregnancy progress while hers had been terminated, she had been there through the birth, just as Gregory was constantly with them, even though he has his studies at Oxford.

Even Eloise, who loved her work on Kate's project with the Queen, and hated attending certain types of events, stepped in to support them at such challenging hours.

If she'd wanted to, if she'd cared about Kate, and her niece and nephews, if she'd cared even a little bit, Edwina would have managed to be here with them.

But, her neglect made it clear that it wasn't just Mary who she had wanted an independent life from, but from all of them, and that pained her. For all her rights or wrongs, all she did over the years was think of Edwina's happiness.

It had taught her a hard lesson, doing something for others, that they didn't ask for, didn't meant that they would be grateful, or reciprocate. And, that, therefore, one should not do for the other, what one would not do for themselves.

Kate would have to settle for her going on her own way, just like Edwina. After all, it wouldn't be the first time… She thought bitterly. At least Edwina was doing what Mary wanted, maybe she should do the same.

Don't suffer, and, live her life.

Daphne stared at her for a long time, before sighing, clasping her hands between hers, and, saying. “Kate… When I married Simon… You know that he lied to me… That he had told me that he couldn't have kids, when in fact, he didn't wanted to. It was so complicated for me to understand him, to understand the reason for his omission… Everything was confused between us for a long time, but… before I debuted, I understood that for love it was worth making certain choices, and following your own path. It made me forgive him, and today… we're fine, aren't we…?”

Kate just nods, not quite understanding where Daph is getting at.

“Edwina… she wasn't getting along with Mary before she died. Perhaps, her not coming... it has nothing to do with you, or with the children, but with what she feels about her.” Daph suggests.

"Even so…” Kate replies, tilting her head.

“That's why I mentioned me and Simon. He… made an oath to his father, on his deathbed, and, I couldn't understand how his promise could be stronger than our love, but… You've been married longer than I have…. You know, love isn't enough to make a marriage work, it's made of two individuals, and if they're not settled with their past, however much they want to…” Daphne insists.

Yes… Kate really understands that, the Gods and Goddesses knew how much she wanted to put all that had happened behind her, and, to get back to focusing on herself, on Anthony, on her marriage, on their family, but, all the hurt, all the anger didn’t let her do so.

"You understood Mary..." Daph tries a different approach, at seeing how crestfallen Kate looks.

"I had to come to terms with it, it's different.." Kate replied, quietly.

Daphne has to acquiesce to that. ”Yes, conforming is not the same as accepting, and, I imagine, with her passing away… Kate… what she did, how she handled it, it was wrong. And… you did the best you could, with the information you had it, but, today... Today, you have other information, today you know that what is behind someone's attitudes, can even be something unimaginable. Isn't that the reason why you've decided to give your grandfather a chance?…”

Kate looks pensive at her words.

And, Daphne squeeze her hands, saying. "We will all support you, and Anthony, in whatever decision you make… But, everything has been so difficult lately… I just… You meant the world to Edwina, and, I don't see what could have make her stop loving you. When she comes back... listen to her first?"

Kate... doesn't think that she is wrong in to feel in the way she does, but, had she known earlier what was going on with Mary… she would have tried, instead of pulling away.. rather than giving up.

Rather than in her eagerness to not suffer, having allowed herself to forget that life was fragile, and, that feelings were meant to be like the passing clouds, not like the sky.

She nods then, agreeing.

🦋

Time is curious like that….

Shortly after that conversation, John's cousin, Michael, had returned from India, and he and Francesca were at odds, at first, after all, it had taken him a year and a half to contact her after the 'incident'.

But, Kate saw how he glanced at Francesca, and, she understands that there was more behind his absence. And, it reminds her of the conversation she had with Daph, and, it makes her wonder if there was another reason for her sister's absence.

It's strange how those almost 2 years without seeing her, made her feel differently now about everything.

Now they were celebrating Violet's birthday, at a fancy-dress ball, the last one Kate and Anthony would attend before their trip.

Kate had opened her gardens for the ball to take place there, and the candles in the candelabra were making the full moon night seem to be taking place in a fairy tale.

The night was passing without any kind of distress.

Kate could only laugh, at the Bridgertons' reaction at seeing a gentleman who had asked Violet to dance.

"Mama is dancing?" Eloise whispered to Francesca.

"More to the point..." Francesca blurted out. "...Who is she dancing with?"

Eloise craned her neck, not bothering to hide her interest. "I have no idea."

"Ask Penelope." Francesca suggested then. "She always seems to know who everyone is."

Eloise made a little face, before she reached out again, this time looking across the vast gardens. "Where's Penelope?"

Colin shrugged. "Last time I saw her, she was hiding behind a potted plant, running away from the Featheringtons."

He then blinked, finally paying attention to something else other than his plate. "Mother is really dancing? With whom?"

“Uff… That's why we were looking for Penelope, for her to tell us!” Says Hyacinth, irritably. Despite still missing a year for her season, she insisted on participating at the ball, since the idea was hers.

Kate would never admit it, but, she was relieved that Violet and Daphne were taking care of her season, they would have their hands full with her, as Hyacinth seemed more interested in having a love adventure, like the ones in her novels, than in getting married.

She doesn't even want to imagine what news they'll get from her season, but, she thinks it will do them good to be away. Anthony knows his youngest sister well, and it wasn't unusual for him to lose hours of sleep, wondering what kind of person she would be interested in.

If they stayed, it would give him gray hairs, she knew. The more Anthony aged, the less patient he became.

"If you hadn't suggested a fancy-dress ball, we would already know who she's dancing with!" Says Gregory, with a bite, while crossing his arms. It was not possible that even his own mother would find someone, for the second time!! While he had no one… Ugh!

“I think we should stay here until the dance is over. And then, we interrogate her." Daphne suggests, eagerly.

Benedict purses his lips, thinking long and hard before agreeing.

Anthony's eyebrows rose, saying with authority. "I'd say it's the gentleman who deserves to be questioned."

"It never occurred to you…" Kate asked, to none of them in particular “…that a woman of Violet's age, is perfectly capable of choosing her own dance partners?"

"No." Anthony replied, sternly.

"In truth, no." Colin muttered.

Francesca said, at the same time. "She is our mother!” As if it explained it all.

The other siblings responded similarly.

There was a pause, where they all continued to watch their mother do her elegant moves on the dance floor.

Then Benedict added, exposing his musings. "It occurs to me to ask why she never dances."

Anthony arched an eyebrow to that. Indeed.. That was a good question! He does not remembers the last time he saw his mother dancing.

"We've been here the last few minutes and there's nothing but speculation about her behavior." Gregory pointed out, a little grumpy still.

There was silence.

Then, Eloise asked. "And?"

"She is our mother!” Hyacinth insisted. They had the right to know if she is planning to marry again!

"Don't you think that she deserves her privacy?" Kate asked, but, she was ignored, even by Anthony.

Everyone was too absorbed in Violet at that moment, to notice anything else. Kate just rolled her eyes, sipping the lemonade, from the glass in her hand.

"Here she comes." Daphne whistled, almost bouncing in her place.

And it was true, the dance was over, and Violet was walking back to where they were.

“Mother." Anthony said firmly, as she reached her children.

“Anthony.” She said with a smile. “I haven't seen you all night. How are you, Kate?”

But before Kate could respond, Anthony continued.

"Who were you dancing with?" Anthony demanded.

Violet blinked. “I beg your pardon?"

"Who were you dancing with?" Eloise repeated.

"Honestly?" Violet said, with a slight smile. "I don't know."

Gregory gawked. "How is this possible?"

"It's a ball full of masks." Violet said with some amusement, oh, her children were still surprising her with their behavior even at this age!

"Secret identities and all that.” She added, with a hint of a laugh on her voice tone.

"Are you going to dance with him again?" Daphne asked, curiously.

"Probably not." Violet said, looking over the crowd. "Ah… I finally see Agatha, if you'll excuse me…"

“So how do we feel about our mother dancing with someone?” Hyacinth asks, feeling unsatisfied with her answers.

“A dance is no big deal.” Colin says, shrugging.

“A dance can lead to a courtship.” Points out Francesca. Wondering if truly it is possible to move forward and to find another love, after losing a great one.

“I never stopped to think about the possibility of Mother getting another husband.” Benedict comments. He would feel happy about her finding love again.

“And, would that be so bad?” Kate asks, still quite amused by their reaction.

After a long silent pause between the siblings, Anthony says. “I think that… after everything we've been through, what matters is that we stick to what makes us happy, however that may be."

He is surprised by how truthful he is being at saying it.

The siblings look at each other, agreeing, even if with some hesitation.

A rare milestone for them.

Kate looks at Anthony proudly, smiling at them.

🦋

Kate sees Francesca talking to Michael Stirling, as they dance, and all she can do is agree with Francesca's statement that, indeed, dancing could lead to courtship.

Her eyes sparkled with life, as Kate hadn't seen them do in a long time, and, Kate just hoped that she would not fight with her heart, and, that she allowed herself to be happy again.

She sighs, looking up at the starry sky for a moment, and when she turns to face the party again, that's when she sees…

"Edwina…." Her lips formed the word, without making a sound.

Kate has to stop herself from running to her sister, yet she strides, the faster that she can, and, she hugs her tight.

Edwina is surprised at how much she wants to cry, as she is once again enveloped in her sister's warmth.

She had postponed, for so long, her return to England, fearing her sister's reaction, fearing that her sister now despised her.

Not to mention, she's sure that as soon as Anthony lays eyes on her, he'll kill her.

“I am so glad that you are here! Shall we go inside, so we talk calmly?” Kate suggests, eagerly.

Edwina nods, fidgeting her hands the entire way.

She then blurts out, wanting honesty between them. She can't take it anymore. "You don't have to leave the party, to come talk to me just because you feel guilty."

That stops Kate on her tracks. "Do you think that's what I'm doing?"

"You didn't fight for me all those years ago, you got married and forgot about me.." Edwina said, closing her eyes right after, exhaling heavily..

She came to make peace with her sister, and, not to fight with her!

"I fought for you! I never forgot you! Every time I could bring you close to me I did... It's you who walked away." Kate stated, not understanding how Edwina could accuse her like this. Is this the reason for her not returning? This preposterous misbelief?

“Mama said in her letter that she wanted to keep me away from you, so that I would be independent…” Edwina replies, in pain.

What? Kate thinks, feeling her mouth drop open, as everything inside her turns into a turmoil.

She shakes her head.. Ah.. Mary! What happened that made her act the way she did? To believe that this mess would be the solution? She questions herself for the countless time.

But, Edwina misunderstands her movement. “Are you going to deny that you walked away from me after you got married, that it wasn't because of that, ..you… that Mama kept me away from you?”

Kate feels stunned, she gawked, taking a moment to work out what to say. “Edwina… Mary… She… felt guilty about the way she reacted to Appa's death, with me taking over the estates, and raising you on my own. You... were so sad when you were away from me... And... you weren't exactly fond of staying with her..."

This makes Edwina lower her head in embarrassment.

“You were raised by me, and… with her having so little time to live, she wanted to be a mother to you again. And, she didn't wanted to impose another loss on me…” Kate says, making a face, trying to make a sense of Mary's logic.

“She was…, in a very tortuous way, trying to make amends for the past. And, I didn't know it... but, as I became a mother soon after I've got married... I couldn't separate you from her, Edwina, not when she, after years, finally, showed interest in you... That's all, Edwina. You… you didn’t come back… why…?” Kate asked hesitantly.

"I lived with her, and, I didn't see.. So lost in my anger, in my resentment, I didn't see her wasting away. When my season came, I couldn't wait to get away from her, and, even though I knew she was right about the Sheffields, I felt so trapped for years by her, that I…” Edwina confesses, tormented, as she understands that her mistake was even bigger than she knew.

She had failed her mother, she had failed Kate... and, she had failed herself. She could have enjoyed her mother's last years of life, her niece's first years, who was so grown up now. She had missed her sister so much, and, she could have… all this time… if her anger, if her hurt hadn't made her believe that she had the whole truth in her hands, if she had voiced what was within her just once…..

"You have the right to be angry about the choices she made, but that doesn't erase the love or…" Kate said, gently, feeling for her sister at understanding how she had felt.

"Exactly, but, I didn't understand that, I traveled and…" Edwina persisted, feeling more and more guilty.

“You were on your honeymoon….” Kate interrupted.

"I wasn't even remotely close to her when she left... She died alone, sad, sick… and, I was, what...? Fucking around?" Edwina continued, as if she hadn't been interrupted.

"You didn't know…. None of us knew…" Kate says, sadly.. Wondering, once again, how different everything would have been if they'd navigated that whole situation in the light instead of the dark.

"I didn't know, and now I have to live, to make the choice I made worth it, so that her leaving like that wasn't in vain! Don't you understand that this is how I honor her last wish?" Edwina shouted, unable to contain herself any longer, feeling everything turn inside her.

“Edwina.. Mary… talked to me, at Fran's wedding. She… asked me for forgiveness…” She swallows back the tears, that were choking her throat, and squeezing her chest, before continuing on.

“She was sorry for her choices… although she didn't tell me which were those choices, not with transparency, she asked me to not repeat her mistakes, so that I didn't get lost… And she begged me to make sure that it was the same for you." Kate tries, frowning in anguish.

Edwina walks from one side to the other, unable to understand... well, absolutely nothing about her mother... Despite having lived with her for years, with each new discovery, she seemed more like a complete stranger.

Kate approaches her, and, says seriously, staring at her. “Edwina… if there's one thing I learned from all of this, it's that we can't escape from our pain… You didn't come back out of shame, because you thought that you had to live like that, because you thought I didn't wanted you around, but… Mary hid the truth from all of us.. I... insisted so much, so much... many times I thought I did more than I should, and still, it was in vain. I didn't wanted you away from me, ever. And... there's nothing for you to be ashamed of. You don't..”

"There is…! You raised me… You… were my whole world, Didi, and, I wasn't here for you when you needed me.” Edwina says, tearing her eyes away from hers in embarrassment, feeling them water.

“I wasn't the only one who lost Mary…. You only had your husband,  ...I had everyone…” Kate tries… she lost all that time with her sister, because of a misunderstanding, because none of them voiced what they carried within, their pain speaking louder. Kate couldn't lose her again because of her guilty!

“But, not me.. You did not had me! I missed you every day since Mama took me away, I felt so lost without you, so hurt.. I didn't understand, and, I pulled away from you, and, I turned all my anger on Mama…’' Edwina confessed, her voice cracking, wanting to go back to the start.

“I was also very hurt by all the distance, Bon. I also felt a lot of anger at Mary over the past few years…” Kate said, trying to let her know that everything was okay, needing to make everything okay again.

Edwina gathered her courage, turning to face her, and asking. “Will you… be able to forgive me…?”

“There's nothing to forgive, Bon. Having you once again making a part of my life is enough.” Kate said, her eyes pleading.

Edwina feels a lump in her throat, she didn't deserve her forgiveness. Her beloved Didi.. who had done everything for her, how could Edwina…? Why had she walked away from her instead of talking? She wonders again. So much time… so much time had been wasted… If that was what her Didi wanted from her, she would give it to her.

So, she swallows hard, and, she doesn't know how she manages to speak.

“Kate… how are we going to…? How are we going to feel this anger, this pain... and not tarnish Mama's memory? How are we going to make peace with what happened and move forward? For all this time… it has been eating me alive, her actions, our distance, and…” She breaks down in tears.

Kate hugs her. Wanting to surrender to the tears within herself too. “We're going to have to remember of this misunderstanding between us, we're going to have to remember that we're human, and, that Mary made a mistake, just like we did, and pushed us all away, and, it hurt us, but, that she did it out of love, and, with good intentions.”

Easier said than done… She thought, as soon as she finished speaking. Still, she continues on. “We're going to have to follow her advice, to allow ourselves to live today intensely, taking something good out of it all, and using it to our advantage, to help us heal. I.. I know it looks like we're not going to make it.. but, you're here.. We've made our peace with each other now. Soon I will be traveling to India, and hopefully, I will be able to build a bridge between me and my Tatta once again.”

Edwina just hugs her tighter, as her words reached her ears. “So it will be, Didi.. You deserve it.. I am sorry, I am so sorry… I’ve missed you so much.”

“And I, you, Bon. We'll find a way to be okay again, you'll see.. I'm so glad that you are finally back… I love you, Edwina.. don’t ever doubt it!” Kate confessed, in a heartfelt manner, feeling a tear escape her eyes.

“Never again, Didi! Never again! I love you so much! I don’t want to be parted from you never again!” Edwina swore fervently.

🦋

The preparations for their travel are more extensive than they had anticipated, it would take more time than Kate wished for them to get there.

She goes to the gardens, and, sits in the gazebo, having a cup of chai, trying to enjoy her moment of solitude.

She feels the heat of the sun on her skin, as well as the wind on her face. And, she can't help but think about Mary. She missed her.

The clouds come and go, but the sky stays. The sky stays, love stays, people come and go, but how they make you feel stays, she tries to take comfort from that knowledge, from nature, as Mary herself had taught her to do. But her absence still hurts.

Grief is something strange like that, you think you're fine, but then you smell something, and that's enough for the longing to hit you hard, reverberating deep within.

And sometimes, the only thing you can do is allow yourself to mourn, to cry, forgetting for a moment that you must keep moving forward, taking care of the after in the after, staying in the here and in the now, just.. smelling the flowers.

How many times had they not spent hours in the gardens together? How many flowers did they planted and didn't, because of this or that? Even if she did it with other people, none would be Mary, the opportunity was gone.

Remorse corrodes her. She had sworn to live intensely, but how many opportunities had she not missed? She knows that dwelling on it now is pointless, that if she doesn't want to keep wasting any more moments, she must move on.

She must focus on her returned sister, on her husband, on her children, on their expanding family, she thinks, at remembering Francesca's engagement to Michael. She must focus on her Tatta, who is still alive.

But... Kate wants her Mama, her Appa, her Amma, her Grandmama.

She wants their smell, she wants their laugh, she wants their song, she wants their hug.

She wants her family.

It is at this moment that she hears Newton's bark, he comes towards her, even if he no longer has the same speed as before, he comes with the same animation, being followed by her children.

Even though Edmund is already 12, Mayan 10 and Anya 7.

Behind them comes Anthony, with a smile, although it doesn't reach his eyes, as they show his concern.

Kate tries to smile, but fails.

Taking Newton in her lap, while her children excitedly told her.

“Amma, look! Father taught us how to make kites!” Mayan told her, with animation.

“We spent all morning making them!” Anya informs, with equal animation.

“Ah… so this is what you all were doing?!” Kate asks, giving a genuine smile this time.

“We made one for you too, Amma.” Edmund says hesitantly.

Her husband wasn't the only one who was worried about her.

“Thank you, my dear hearts.” She says, picking up the purple kite, and pulling them into a hug.

A hug that Anthony joins in, and Newton barks at finding himself in the middle of all that tightness.

They laugh, and the children begin to take advantage of the wind, to make their kites fly in the blue skies, while Kate and Anthony watched them.

Kate feels Newton wagging his tail, and she sets him down on the grass, so he can go to them.

She then places the kite on a chair and sits again.

Anthony immediately turns and asks her. "Are you well?"

At that time, a blue butterfly, like the one she had chased all those years ago, appears flying near his head.

Something happens inside Kate when she sees it.

It was as if she had received some kind of message.

By following the butterfly, she had found Anthony, and, the love of her live.

If she followed her heart, she could still find her loved ones in times like this.

If only she had eyes to see.

She no longer feels the weight of their absence, then.

Suddenly, her famous hope, which always led her to believe in better days, and that everything would be fine, knocks on her door again, through the wind that brought colors again to her, putting an end to the storm within her.

Anthony wanted to see her, and those he loved, happy, and he wanted to be touched by that same happiness too. Perhaps that was what made him accept Edwina back into their lives after all, what made him deal so peacefully with the possibility of his mother loving someone else, because after all, that was what mattered most to him.

And, maybe it was that, that choice to prioritize, to give themselves a space to breathe again, maybe that's what made Kate move forward before, and, maybe that's what brings the light, that glint, full of magic that had made him fall in love, again and again, to her gaze.

Maybe that's why, when her words fall on his ears, he finds that calm within him, that washes the storm away.

Kate smiles at Anthony, saying. "I am, my love. We’re going to be fine… no matter what. I know it.”

Chapter Text

Kate was on the prow of the ship, watching the sea, the coming and going of the waves, sighing and then looking at the sky, at the seagulls flying high, the clouds passing by, sometimes covering, sometimes revealing the blue sky.

She sees her daughter pointing at the dolphins, just as she had done so many years ago, and at seeing her children being equally excited fills her with happiness.

“I wanted a daughter just like you and I got it, didn't I?” Anthony asks in her ear, making her shiver, just like the first time.

She laughs... Turning into his embrace, and, saying, amused. “Of course you did not, Tony! For start… she has your complexion, not to mention that I was never as calm as she is… If she hadn’t came out of me, I would have sworn she isn’t ours… I have no idea who she took after.”

“She just took after our sweet side, unlike our boys, who took after not only our sweet side, but our short temper as well.. I bet that if we have another girl, she will have a terrible temper!” He says, with mirth.

She chuckles and says. “You swore, when I gave birth to Anya, that if I letted you touch me again, we wouldn't have another child….”

“I am just reminding you …. You are completely free to stop drinking that tea that that old witch gave you.” He replies, grinning.

“Don't talk about Gertrude like this! She's the one who brought our babies into the world, even with all the scandal we make during childbirth…! If I stopped drinking the tea, who would bring our 'daughter' into the world?” She inquires, turning her face to look at him, raising an eyebrow.

“If you are so keen on that old.. amazing.. lady, we can send for her. I bet if we send a letter from the next port, there will still be time for her to arrive and help you with the birth….“ He says, leaning forward to kiss her.

She shakes her head. "We haven't even made the baby yet... I haven't even agreed to it..."

“Well, all you have to do is agree then, because I can easily provide us a baby.” He replies, smirking.

Taking her lips in a sweeping kiss, then.

Kate rolls her eyes affectionately, before surrendering to the kiss, running her hands through his hair, he grabs her, bringing her body against his, with an arm around her waist and his other hand on her buttocks, which he squeezes lightly.

“Gods!…” Mayan exclaims, looking disgusted at them.

“Appa!” Anya says, turning her face away, the tips of her ears red.

“Dad… can you not grab Amma’s butt in front of… anyone? You are making Any embarrassed.” Edmund asks, with a weary sigh. Unfortunately, he's had enough times of catching his parents in the act.

Kate and Anthony break apart, breathless and laughing, looking at their children a little, but just a little bit, embarrassed.

🦋

They were in the center of the bed, the flames of the candles flicking, glinting over their skins, the sound of the sea rocking them, as well as its waves.

They were both in lotus position, with Kate on top of Anthony, his cock buried firmly inside her.

He moves his hips slightly.

"Stop…" Kate says, in a warning voice tone.

"Why?" He asks, with a frown.

“Because, we agreed on trying tantric sex, did we not? So… We have to slow down, Tony." Kate explains, vexed.

"But, why?" He insists, pouting.

"Because we need to synchronize our breaths and let the pleasure grow synergistically." She explains once more, trying to remain calm.

“Why did I agree to this?” He grunts.

She sighs, trying not to roll her eyes. “You wanted for us to try something new, at trying to convince me to have another baby…. I can cover your eyes..."

"Isn't the goal to be eye to eye?" He asks, ignoring the first part of what she said on purpose.

Kate rolls her eyes now, then, she raised her eyebrow, at seeing him looking at her breasts. Muttering, while staring at him "You're not looking at my eyes..."

He smiles, getting a bit flustered, and, then, he stares at her.

Kate tries one more time then. ”Tantric sex goes far beyond the pursuit of pleasure, just like the Kama Sutra it’s a book of good practices, instead of a book about sex positions, Tantra it’s not about sex, but, it’s about using our bodies, and, our daily experiences to be in communion with the Gods."

“Tantric Sex.. It’s about reaching Nirvana, it’s about the meeting of gazes, it's about focusing on being present, in every sense. It's about connecting souls, whose love leads them to share such ecstasy, that together they find the divine, and, they become one in that moment, climaxing, being so much in tune to the point of synchronizing even their breaths.’’ She explained to him passionately.

Anthony loved to see how her gaze lit up and filled with life.

He loses himself in the gleam of her eyes, she finds herself in the adoration of his.

They both remember of the first kiss they shared, so many years ago, on the lake at Aubrey Hall.

It had barely been anything more than a mere peck, and yet, it had meant everything, as their gazes entwining did now.

They were just there, looking at each other, breathing together, and it meant more, much more than anything to them.

What they find reflected in each other's eyes goes so far beyond love, or passion.

It is a meeting of souls indeed.

So… They let the emotion that always guided them towards the other speak louder.

Letting their connection grow, caressing each other, sometimes more lightly, sometimes with more pressure, letting themselves discover new points of pleasure, letting it grow, along with the heat and sensitivity of their bodies.

Never letting their gazes stray from each other, their breaths becoming more and more synchronized.

Their hearts and bodies pulsing with love, with devotion, with surrender.

They stopped fighting the sensations, savoring them instead, letting them take them where they wanted them, as Kate clenched around him and he slid inch by inch, in and out, in a slow cadence, letting the pleasure wash over them.

Their entire bodies pulsed together, everything became a caress, from their touches, to their gazes, as their breaths.

They intertwine even more, pulling the other the closer they could, wanting to have each other under their skin, their kisses lingered, and, left a mark on then, that made the pleasure reverberate through all that they are.

In that silence, the sound of their breathing, echoing in their ears, reverberated inside them, making them vibrate, with desire and love.

The heat seemed to spread and concentrate at the same time in their bodies. Their motions having a ripple effect, they could seem more like small adjustments, but, each one of them was building a crescendo.

At each meeting of their bodies, at each little slide, at each friction, not only of her breasts pressed on his chest, not only of his pelvic bone pressing her clit, but, also the brush of their thighs, how his hands fits between her shoulder blades, and, hers rests on his lower back. The meeting of their eyes, the trail of their fingers, the way their breaths intertwined, made them feel that their hearts were beating as one, which elicited the most intense and lingering sensations, everything was erotic, and, arousing.

And, so, they surrendered with abandon.

Their bodies trembled, as the sensations were intensifying, elating them, fascinating them, as their smiles, before them exchanging a burning kiss, in the same rhythm of the cadence of their love.

Which, despite its containment, it spurred the pleasure, making it grow higher and higher, making them succumb to the spasms that coursed through their bodies, to the fire that filled their veins, consuming them with its heat, making them full of pleasure.

That comes, hitting them with ever more powerful waves, which washes over them, taking them under it, until they became pure ecstasy and love.

This was nirvana, indeed.

The pleasure they experience is cataclysmic, sweeping away everything else, overtaking everything they are, leaving only them, and nothing else.

Both struggle to keep their eyes open, as the rhythm of their breaths, for they are moaning and panting, with the tingling and hot pulse of their bodies, saturated of pleasure, deeply intertwined, and connected.

As well as their minds, their hearts, their souls.

Pleasure overflows throughout all of who they are, emptying them, filling them with all their love, leaving them with nothing more than a hanker to love the other more and more.

Needless to say, that when Kate set her foot on Indian soil, she was, indeed, very much pregnant!

🦋

Arriving in Jaipur was… chaotic, to say the least.

Her Tatta was excited to see her again, as Kate, who was thrilled, the kids went wild, while Anthony tried to keep the situation under control.

But, once Kate's grandfather discovered that she was pregnant, the situation could no longer be contained.

Upon arriving at the Palace, they discovered that he had ordered a welcome party for them, and, the party only grew when he arrived announcing the good news.

Being able to reunite with her Chaacha and her family does wonders for Kate.

Her children and the Bridgertons were her family, they always would be, and, she would always love them.

But, being there in India, with her cousins, watching their children play with hers…

Who were overjoyed with all the pomp, with all the excitement, at being accepted with open arms and finding themselves surrounded with vibrant colors, permeated with music, and, laughter.

The joy and love shown to them was doing her a tremendous amount of good, especially after the difficult times they had been facing.

She had been away for so many years, and her family was eagerly awaiting her arrival. All  of her uncles and aunts, her cousins and their children were there to welcome her home…

"Welcome home, my dear.” Her Chaacha said, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "We have been eagerly awaiting your return."

Kate smiled, feeling a sense of joy and relief wash over her. She had missed her family so much during her time away, and it was wonderful to be back in India once again.

As they made their way to the where the celebrations where happening, her favorite cousin, Devi, whom she used to play as a child, when she had visited India, regaled her with stories of all that had happened in her absence.

She told her of the changes that had taken place in the kingdom, of the new buildings that had been built.

Kate listened with interest, feeling a sense of pride in her family and her homeland. She was happy to be surrounded by the people she loved.

When they arrived at the party, they were greeted by a throng of well-wishers, all eager to welcome them, showering them with flowers and gifts.

As the party continued on, more Kate felt a sense of contentment wash over her.

As she observed her Tony and her children being embraced by her family, she felt that nothing could be better than that, and, she could not stop herself from smiling all the time.

Devi smiled, as she hugged her cousin tightly. It had been years since they had last seen each other, and she was thrilled to have her back in India, to see the happiness in her features.

"It's so good to see you, Kate.” She said, her voice filled with warmth. “It has been so long, since we last saw each other, but, it feels like it was yesterday."

Kate laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "You haven't changed a bit either! It seems that you did not even aged a day since what…?”

“It was in our honeymoons, was it not, the last time when our paths crossed? Then we both started to produce children after children….” Devi caressed Kate's belly, smiling, but then, she sighed.

“Devi…. You offered.. But, you are in a direct line to the throne, you could not afford to travel, as I do.” Kate tried to dismiss the subject, knowing what that sigh meant.

“You are family… If you waited a bit more to return, I would go chasing after you myself.” She replied, with seriousness.

But, Kate laughed a bit, saying with mirth. “You?! You were always a terrible hunter!”

“Kate…” That was all Devi emitted, dismayed.

Kate sighs, her gaze wavering back at Anthony and her children, laughing among her family. “It was tough, I won’t deny it, Dev… But, I chased the happiness, and ran from the sadness for so long, without understanding that neither was the answer. Trying to avoid the pain, only makes it your main focus. Trying to only be happy, makes you deny all that you carry within. Once I’ve learn to accept the seasons of life, the pain became fleeting as the clouds in the sky, and, the light returned to my life.”

Then she caresses her belly as well. “You kept making baby after baby, but not I.. It’s truth, that we’ve avoid it for some time, and yet, at the first attempt, even after so many years, we were blessed with another child. Life has returned to our lives… I do not want to dwell in what was any longer.”

Devi stares at Kate for a while, before saying. “I was wrong… You’ve changed. You might look the same, but, you’ve grown wiser, cousin.”

Kate only smiles at her.

Maybe that's why the conversation with her Tatta turned out so differently than she had anticipated.

It did not took them a very long time to find a far corner of the Palace to talk, on the rooftop, where a beautiful garden existed, Kate couldn't help, but, feel a sense of nostalgia wash over her. She had so many fond memories of there, it was her favorite place.

They sit on the cushions, sipping their chai, in a tense silence, as he watched her, and Kate watched Anthony from afar, laughing at a joke that her Chaacha had told.

“How long have you been pregnant?” He started with the easiest question.

“I believe three months.” She told, sighing, before turning to look back at him.

“Perhaps it would be better to call a doctor." He suggests.

“We already called our midwife, as soon as we realized the pregnancy. She was the one who delivered all of our children.” Kate informs.

“Even so, it will take a few months for her to arrive, I think it's better…” He begins.

But, Kate cuts him off, unable to stop the resentment from seeping out of her. “For someone who cares so much about me, you had a wonderful way of showing it, leaving me alone when I needed you the most.”

The silence only heightens the tension.

She sees her Tatta fidgeting with the edges of his cup, opening and closing his mouth, over and over again, whether seeking the words or the courage, or both, she can't say.

“You're an adult now… You've experienced more loss than someone of your age should….. You understand the pain, how devastated…” He tries.

Kate stops him. "I understand and that doesn't mean I stopped being there for the ones I love."

He nods, sighing, before speaking. "Because you're a better person than I am. It's one of the reasons I'm so proud of you. Kate… Love is a great driving force, but, it doesn't make miracles, we still have to build trust, we still have to mature and heal ourselves, in order to live it fully…”

"Where do you want to get?" She asks, not understanding him, frowning.

"That losing your mother destroyed me. I endured it for you, for your grandma, and, when she was gone... Every day it became more and more difficult to keep going, and, I should have gone back here, while your father was still alive, but, I didn't, and, when he left this world… I couldn't bear all the responsibilities any longer…” He confesses, commoved, with a cracking voice.

Kate is silent, her mind a twirl.

At her silence, he proceeds. "You might think that if I stayed, I would have made a difference, but, in the state that I was in, I…, at best, wouldn't have made any, but, I'd probably make it all worse, by giving you someone else to take care of… Sometimes, Kate, when you love someone, the best thing you can do is leave..."

Kate mulls over everything he's said, she understands, she does... But if the person you need the most isn't in a position to love you, for whatever reason, they are simply not there for you, they are not loving you, and, at staying or leaving, they are hurting you. “Is this suppose to make it all okay?”

He shakes his head, saying. “Of course not… Why do you think I haven't returned to England after all these years? Because I know the pain I caused you, the helplessness I brought you…. I'm ashamed that this was the best I could do, but, that doesn't mean I did not cared or that I don't love you or that I'm not here for you in some capacity. Why do you think I accepted your marriage, even though Anthony had compromised you?”

She looks at him in surprise.

Had it been any other time, Agnimukha would have laughed at her gaping expression. “You are a Princess, Kate, and, I left people to not only protect you, but, to help and care of you. Of course I knew he was breaking into your room night after night… It amazed me how long it took for you to get caught and engaged, and, it amazed me even more that you didn't get married while pregnant... This boy loved you from the moment you said hi to him, my whole life I knew he would propose to you..."

“Is that why you allowed yourself to leave, because you knew about us?” Kate asks after a while, trying to make peace with everything he has told her.

“It certainly gave me comfort, but, I left because I needed to, that's all, not because it was what I wanted.” He explains, without making excuses for his behavior.

Kate notices that.

“And are you okay here?” She inquires then.

“I’m… there’s something about being surrounded by your own that….” He shrugs, not sure how to describe it.

Kate nods, understanding him anyway.

At this, he asks. “I'm so sorry about Mary, about what happened to Francesca, how is she, Edwina, the family, truly?”

Kate lowers her head, sighing. “She is engaged, to the Earl of Kilmartin. The family… are happy for her, for us finding our way back to happiness. Edwina… she and Mary had a fell out over the Sheffields, and, she decided to give them a chance, and… it soured their relationship, it took Edwina a while to understand that they were more interested in getting to know me and Anthony, than in to build a relationship with her... When she realized, she did not tried to solve matters with Mary...."

She sighs again, stopping to take a sip of her already cold chai. “I didn't know that Edwina could hold a grudge like she did… Nor that Mary could be so headstrong.”

At this, Agnimukha cannot stop himself from snorting. “Just because you knew her when you were just a little girl, and, you didn't listen to everything she'd told us about her parents and the Lord they tried to marry her to…”

Kate is silent for a moment, processing what Tatta had said, before speaking. “Well… she didn’t told us that she was sick, she distanced herself from me, taking Edwina with her, and.. When Edwina married, their relationship was barely heading towards a reconciliation. And, when Mary passed away in her sleep…. Their relationship was in such a fragile state, that… it wrecked Edwina, Tatta…”

She fight against the tears, before continuing. “We distanced ourselves because of that, I tried to be there for her, but, she preferred to live in denial, being distracted by her husband's travels, everything so as to not get in touch with what losing her in such circumstances meant…. I…."

Kate then stops, her Tatta looks at her expectantly, but she just gets up, pacing back and forth, as understanding dawns within her.

“I could not force her to face her grief, to come back home sooner, I had to respect her and …. I understand you Tatta, I understand her, I understand that sometimes our best is not the best, but... She distancing herself from me, as Mary, it hurt me… Coming back here, seeing you again, filled a hole that I didn't even know I had in me.” She confesses, feeling her voice crack, as tears fill her eyes, her emotions choking her throat.

Agnimukha rises and embraces her, and, Kate allows herself to cry in his arms.

Being there, feeling his scent, his embrace, comforts her deeply, and, she clings to him, crying even more, as he strokes her hair, like when she was a child. Sometimes all someone needs is that, an embrace that welcomes them.

“Acceptance is one of the biggest challenges in our life, my wild flower. Having to persevere through the pain, having to go through life carrying it, when everything is not right, it really hurts, but, that's how lotuses are born. What is, is, we can deny it, and, it would not change a thing, or, we can accept it, making the best out of the situation, moving forward as we can, flourishing like them. We're all doing what we can… if you understand that, it would hurt you less what I did, and didn’t do, as well as the whole situation with Edwina and Mary, as well as your own decisions…” He says, his chin resting on her head.

She pulls away, looking at him in surprise.

He chuckled, saying affectionately. “I know my wild flower, don't I? How many times have I not carried you in my arms, when you started to cry, because you couldn't fix something, because you couldn't help someone? You never liked to admit defeat, but sometimes it's not about failure, Kate, it's..."

“A matter of acceptance of what is…. “ She nods, looking down, sniffing, before continuing. "But, I didn't want it to be like this… Edwina and I, as you and I, we still can mend our relationships, but, Mary…”

“I know… If I had accepted how I felt, maybe I would have been able to be there for you, instead of denying and pushing myself to the point where I had to leave…. Mary.. the way she was after your Appa, Kate…. She probably chose what she choose, because she…” He hesitates then.

“Wanted to die?” Kate asks, in a low voice tone. “She said to Edwina, in a letter, that she did not wanted for her to be dependent of me.. In my.. she told me that she could not impose another death…”

“Maybe.. maybe she wanted… maybe not… but, she was sad, and, pain can cloud our judgment. All I know is that she loved you both, and, knowing you.. I know that you fought for her, and, that this letted her know that you loved her too. As you never stoping writing me, even with me postponing travel after travel to England, letted me know that you still love me like I love you.” Agnimukha tries to comfort her.

Kate thinks about everything, about the longing she has felt, how fulfilled she felt when she got reunited with her maternal family, about all the decisions that she has made, that could have distanced her from those she loves.

About how all that she wants, after all, is being close to them, because that was what mattered the most.

It makes her ask, even as she hates the vulnerability in her tone, the insecurity that she feels after all. “Are you…? Now that I've come, now that we have solved our matters and made our peace, are you going to stay away from me still?"

Agnimukha jokes, to disguise the emotion he feels, after years of wanting to get closer to his granddaughter. “If after months here with all of us, you still want to see the faces of any of us, I'll go with you to England for a while, and visit you when possible… You…?”

Kate smiles, feeling something heal inside her. “The kids loved it here, as did Anthony, of course we'll be back, and, of course, I'll want you there, Tatta. I'll never stop wanting my Tatta with me."

They embrace, and, it is a hug full of forgiveness and joy.

That's how Anthony finds them.

He worries, at seeing the tears in their eyes, but, Kate's tell him that everything is fine, and that brings him an immense relief.

Later, in the evening of that same day, when Kate and the children had already gone to sleep, after the exhausting day they had had, he was still insomniac.

He walked to the walled part of the Palace, watching all the movement, while the staff cleaned up the mess left behind by the party.

’'I was wondering when we would have a moment alone…. You couldn't sleep either?" He heard Kate's grandfather's voice behind him.

He turns to look at the man he has thought as his own grandfather for years, and all the anger that he had held back in all this time bubbles to the surface.

He says, with a bite. "I haven't seen my wife happy like this in a long time..."

Agnimukha lowers his head, before saying, after sighing. “I explained, she forgave…”

But, at seeing his flaming gaze, Agnimukha knows that he has chosen the wrong words.

"She did, but, that doesn't mean that I forgive you…" Anthony told, taking a step forward. "I was the one who stood by her, day after day, night after night, helping her with everything, while you were here… "

"And I believe she did the same for you…" Agnimukha interjected.

"It's different, I have my family…" Anthony cut him off, not understanding his logic.

Agnimukha asks then. “And you rely on them, like you rely on her? You forget that I married for love too... May the gods forbid and keep you from losing each other, but..."

Anthony holds up his hand, not wanting to hear anymore, not wanting….

"You can't even imagine it… So, you understand, you understand how little difference being here makes, that my family makes, that it just distracts me from the emptiness and the constant absence….. " Agnimukha tries to explain, to make him understand, forgive...

"But, you have them, just like I have my family, when Francesca lost John, we were there for her, and, it's true, we couldn't do much for her, but, we held all together until… If I .. who…." Anthony says, in agony.

Losing his father shattered him, seeing his mother despair destroyed him, he just did not went lost thanks to Kate, he knows that she's strong, but, she’s already been through so much... Losing Mary, all that distance from Edwina was a hard blow for her, and, even though Edwina had returned to their lives… he fears dying, and, leaving Kate behind with no one, and, that she….

"Anthony… she would have your family, they are hers, as much as you are ours, and, in the end, there are certain things that only we can give ourselves. We don't live forever… We can't always have someone to rely on. What you have is very rare, the way our families love each other, is less common than it should be. In the end of the day, we all have our lives… You did everything you could for Francesca, but, only she, herself, could bring herself out of her grief…. “ Agnimukha says, with pleading eyes, hoping that he would listen this time.

Anthony looks at him, surprised, it looks like he knows what he is thinking.

He continued then. “Not that you didn't make a difference, but, she went back to Scotland, didn't she? Even before she settled everything with…”

“Michael….” Anthony said.

"Because in the end, that's what she needed to do, to be well again. You condemn her...?" He inquires.

"Of course not!" Anthony exclaims. What kind of….?

“Well, then, don't condemn me…! I'm sorry for having left her, for having hurt both of you, for meeting my great-grandchildren only now... Do you think it didn't hurt me? It did! But, what I've learned, over these years, was that love was not meant to be a necessity... That it is much more authentic when two people are together not because they need to, but, because they are who they are. Purely and simply because of that, because they want to.” He says, his tone incensed.

It resonates deep within Anthony, how could it not? When all it took for him was knowing Kate to love her? When all he wants is to keep doing it so?

“So… If something happens, they can still move forward, because they are complete in themselves, because love gave them air, instead of taking it away…. The good kind of love is the one that lets people grow, and, be independent, and, it aggregate in such a way, that because they were touched by that love, instead of wanting to stop, it makes them move forward, for it to not have been in vain, for having been touched by such a special love… It gives them breath.. always. Because… you know that they would want the best for you and for you to move on, because you know you would want the same, for them.” He continues to say, touched. Isn’t that the reason that made him get up from his bed everyday still?

Anthony feels the weight he carried on his shoulders lighten with each new word he hears from Kate's grandfather... because he hears them with his heart, which understands this kind of love, because it is the love he feels for her, because.. this is the love that… she feels for him.

"You've been through a lot... I know these recent times have been challenging, but, a baby is on the way, bringing new winds... so... don't love each other with fear, but with courage, enjoying the gift of a love like yours, enjoying every second of it, letting it give you such strength, that it will transcend time and space, for it will stay alive within you, filling you with life, regardless of what comes, whether you are together or apart, Anthony. Your love has the power to make you overcome everything, believe me.” Agnimukha stated. ''Your love gave wings to your dreams, so don't stop dreaming, let your love continue to guide you, it brought you together, it gave you a family. Your love is your legacy."

And Anthony? Anthony believed, putting a hand on his shoulder, looking at him with gratitude... It was good that they had come to India, it was good that they had chosen to prioritize themselves, their children, their family, life, and, love.

Agnimukha’s words makes him understand that love isn’t about being afraid that all will be snatched away. Love is about finding the one person who makes your heart complete, who makes you a better person than you ever dreamed you could be. It is about looking into the eyes of your wife, and, knowing, all the way to your bones, that she is simply the best person you will ever known.

He knew then, as he knows now, and, he does not see anything, much less, death, changing it. He might have forgotten about the power of love, adrift amidst all the pain and fear, letting it consume him, and, take him out of his center, but, Agnimukha is right, their love would always prevail and guide them… towards the other, always.

And just like this, forgiveness finds its space inside of him, as acceptance. For that was what their love did for them, with it at the center and guiding them, there was nothing they couldn't overcome.

🦋

When Anthony laid down, later on, he wrapped around Kate carefully, so as not to wake her. But, she turned into his embrace, snuggling against him, laying her head over his heart.

“Katie… were you awake, waiting for me?” He asked, dismayed.

“You've got me used to sleeping in your arms, Tony… You can't expect me to sleep well without you….” She says, amused. “Besides.. I know you!"

Anthony is silent, thinking about everything her grandfather had said, hugging her closer.

Kate senses his mood, she knows he was worried about her, that one of the reasons that he wanted another baby so badly was for them to expand their family, so she would never feel alone.

She leans to her side on the mattress, turning, as she lays on top of him, the large windows, open due to the heat, letting the moonlight into the room, it reflecting on them.

She rested her face on his chest, intertwining her pinky with his, letting them play along, as many times previous.

“Do you believe in afterlife, Tony?” She asked seriously, looking into his eyes.

Anthony frowns, not understanding where she's going with all this, and, he also felt a little tired of talking about death, if he's being honest. So he just nods.

Kate smiles, and, says. "Me too…. Sometimes, when something brushes my little finger, be it the wind, or a flower, I remember the oath you made me, and, I feel you with me, even when you're not there... Do you think you'd change your mind, if …. ?”

She has her head down, but, Anthony lifts her chin, with his other hand, saying with devotion. "Never…. Nothing and no one can break our bond, Kate. I will love you, and, be there for you, in the now, and, in the beyond. Always…. I love you.”

She leans forward, cupping his face with her other hand, saying it adoringly. “I love you, Anthony.”

They kiss.

The kiss is short, and sweet, but, it is full of love….

When it’s over, Kate leans her forehead against his, asking curiously. "Do you think Tatta has changed, or, that we've have grown older?"

"Both… He learned a lot from his grief… And so did we…" He says, kissing her forehead, stroking her hair, taking comfort from her weight over his body, from her scent, from the warmth of her little finger intertwined with his.

They’ve learned how to not get lost, in their pain, in their fears, how to not be closed off to life. How to keep themselves and their love at the center of their lives.

There's nothing their love could not overcome, all he has to do is keep loving her, keep letting her love him, and they'll be fine, like they always were, like they always will be, because they had more than each other, more than the family they've built, they have an unconditional love, which was so much bigger than themselves, that it would remain, echoing in them, and beyond, intermingling through time and their lives.

"It feels good to be here, with him, my family, our children… you.” She says, placing a kiss over his heart, happy to see the tension drain from his body.

He gives a peck on her lips, nodding, before saying, smiling. "The children are so excited to know the country.."

Kate chuckled. "Yes, we will have challenging days ahead.”

🦋

And they had, indeed, quite the challenge in hands, in the days and months that followed…..

It was karma, it could only be karma… Their parents must be laughing at them, wherever they were, as they chased after their children, who ran wildly, up and down, even Anya, wherever they visited.

As the months progressed, as well as Kate's pregnancy, Anthony didn't wanted for her to exhaust herself, so he started to run after them alone…. Making him wonder why he had invented for them to have one more child.

During these months they went to know the center of the town, close to the Palace, to the markets and fairs, where they went from one side to the other, mesmerized by the variety of food, and fabrics and colors.

They went to the temples, like the Jagat Shiromani Temple, and, to the festivals, and they were fascinated by the music, by the lights, jumping and dancing happily.

And they continued to behave like this, at the music and dance performances, and, at the endless amount of celebrations to which they were invited.

Despite the difficulty of not losing them in the crowd, their behavior was expected, what was not expected was that they would behave like this at the museums, at the tea houses.

When they went to visit the forts, like the Jaigarh Fort, or, worst…. The Panna Meena Ka Kund, an old water storage tank, accessible through a flight of stairs.….  

The 200-meter deep stepwell, was filled with water and, Anthony and Kate questioned their every decision that day, certain that they had paid for past, and even future, karmas, as their children managed to leap from one steep after another, of stairs of the great well walls.

Shouting gleefully, careless of the world, having fun at the oval stairs, as if there was no danger in what they were doing.

Kate had been silent the entire way back, still feeling shaky from the fear they had put her through… She thought that her children would fall and that they would not have the time to prevent them from falling.

She and Anthony were firm with their children, they disciplined them as a united front, always talking to them, making it clear that their actions had consequences, and, that they had to learn to deal with them, so, if a toy was broken, for example, they didn't replace it, if they broke something in the house, they would take a symbolic amount of money from their allowances.

This tended to be very efficient, and, they rarely needed to do anything more than that, and, they never yelled at them, much less raised a hand in their direction.

But, their resolves were tested in that day. Kate had to make a monumental effort to not scream and Anthony had to make an even greater effort to not prevent them from leaving the perimeters of the Palace, and accompany them, for a few days….

But, their silence along the way, spoke louder than any scream, as well as the expression of discontent on their faces.

Anya, Mayan and Edmund looked at each other, having a silent conversation, reaching an agreement, as they arrived back at the Palace, heading towards to their family wing.

“Amma, Appa… Are you very… angry with us?” Anya questioned, with the most pleading face she could muster.

“You could have been hurt….” Kate said, sternly.

“And, the stress could harm your mother, and your sibling.” Anthony said, rigidly.

Oh… Edmund, Anya, and Mayan look at each other nervously… Nothing was worse to their father than upsetting their mother, and vice versa. They were in trouble.

A big one.

“We didn't thought it was dangerous…” Mayan explains, promptly.

Edmund amends. "We're sorry, we won't do it again and we'll listen to you..."

Kate and Anthony look at each other, having their own silent conversation.

They just nod to their sorrowful children.

They were not used to having their parents so displeased with them. They run to hug them, saying at the same time. “We are really sorry.”

“We're not having dessert today….” Anya offers.

Mayan looks at her reproachfully.

Edmund agrees with her, though.

Kate says. "You don't need to go without dessert, you just need to promise us that you won't forget what could have happened today, and that you won't act like that again."

"We promise." They exclaim eagerly, in unison.

“Well… if you don’t hurry up, you will end up missing dinner.” Anthony says.

So, they hug them, and, they run to their bedrooms.

Kate and Anthony look at each other, sighing, an understanding passing between them, as they know that their children will still give them a lot of strong emotions in the long run.

He strokes her belly, asking, concerned. "Are you really alright?"

She nods, saying, reassuringly. "Still a little shaky, but, I am."

“I already feel gray hairs starting to grow on my head, because of what they did…” Anthony commented.

“We are turning into our parents…” Was Kate’s reply.

“Nonsense…. And all the times we've sneaked around?” He asks, remembering her of them running around like two teenagers, like the young people they were on their honeymoon, stealing moments of the time for themselves, finding corners to love each other, in a way they lingered after.

“You do realize your parents had 8 of you…. “ She points out, amused, as they went to their suite.

“Hush you…. We are not like them, Kate.” He grumbles as they enter.

“Well, we are not going to have 8 children, no matter what sexual adventure you invent next, we are stopping at this one…. “ She says, sitting on the bed.

“Sexual adventure? Like…. this?" He says, leaning on top of her, making her laugh, as she laid on the bed.

In that moment, all their worries were gone, as they gave themselves to the expression of their love.

🦋

“And, so, Orpheus, devastated by the loss of his beloved Eurydice, went to Hades and Persephone, begging for them to restore her to life.” Edmund was saying, stroking Kate's belly, his head on her shoulder.

“He could not look back, however. But, in his distrust, he did it so, and, he ended losing his beloved.” Mayan told, on the other side of Kate, smoothing her hair.

“Sadness devastated him, and, he died at the banks of the Ebro River, near the Mount Olympus, giving origin to the song of the nightingales. They always sing the melody of their eternal love.” Anya sighed, feeling the baby's kick in Kate's belly, before saying. "It sounds like a sad story, but it isn't, because in death, he found his Eurydice again and was able to experience their love once more.”

Kate stroked Anya's hair, beaming at being surrounded by her loves, who told bedtime stories to their little sibling, in her belly, every night.

Even if it makes it difficult to have a moment alone with his wife, Anthony loves to arrive in their bedroom, to find his family all sleeping happily, and, he doesn't hesitate to join them.

🦋

Kate was once again at the gardens, at the rooftop of the Palace.

She loved its oriental style, the variety of flowers, which scented the air with the perfume of jasmines, and, of the lotus in the fountain.

She loved the gazebo, made of wood, roofless, whose floor was strewn with cushions, and from its columns hung veils, with colorful and transparent fabrics, giving it a magical air.

There, snugged against the cushions, looking at the stars that shone in the sky and bathed her in their light, she managed to dream again.

Hearing Kate's happy sigh does something to Anthony's insides.

He remembers the first time he kissed her, how the touch of her lips filled him with a heat he had never known before, how that yearning silenced, briefly, and how everything changed.

She always had the ability to touch his soul like no one else could. Her pain was his pain, and, her happiness... Ah, her happiness made him believe in magic.

He's spent so much time thinking about tomorrow, but, here and now, with the veils touching her skin, and the wind tangling in her hair, Anthony feels as if magic is within his reach in this instant, and, he can't take staying where he is any longer.

Kate sees her husband coming towards her, and, she laughs, like the fool in love that she is, and, that she will always be for him, lifting her arms, to welcome him in her embrace.

Her laughter, her arms, are like a siren call to Anthony, who fits his body over hers, at the same time that his lips encounters hers.

Suddenly, the fire inside him ignited, and, he let his hands roam along her arms, up towards her shoulders, sliding the straps of her nightgown down.

Watching Kate transform into a woman before his eyes, as she grew up, alluring him, helplessly, into her orbit, further and further, had always made him see her as a goddess.

When she was pregnant... he was sure that she truly is one, for there was nothing more that he wanted to do than worship her, lavishing every inch of her with his love and devotion.

Her husband left a wet trail of his devotion on her skin, like a trail of fire that set her aflame and made Kate forget that they were out in the open, and that anyone, including their children, could come looking for them.

She rises from the cushions, feeling the slip of the veils mix with his caresses, and, it just incites her further. She entwines her hands in his hair, kissing him with abandon, letting her hands undress him.

The cold wind passes through his skin, mixing with the warmth of her  hands, making him shiver with pleasure. Anthony undresses her eagerly, then returns to lay her on the cushions.

Seeing the moonlight, mingling with the light of the lamps, on her skin, making it gleam, as her hair, which spread across the cushions, incites him even more, and, he reunites his body with hers, as much as possible, with her belly between them.

Kate laughs, amused by Anthony's eagerness to join her, so she curls her body, lying on her side, loving the feel of his skin sliding against hers, as he hugs her from behind.

Having his body enveloping hers completely, sharing of his warmth, makes her even more ready for him, and, she feels her insides begin to ache, clenching, seeking, needing to fill the void within.

“Anthony…” She moans, feeling him tease her sensitive nipples, grinding her body against his.

Having her body pressed against his, in a delicious friction, drives Anthony mad, and, he feels his cock getting harder, begging to be immersed in her boiling wetness, but, after days of not being able to have a moment alone with his wife, Anthony wants her pleased and melted in his arms.

He kept one hand on her breasts, as he kissed the juncture of her neck and shoulder, letting his other hand slide to the juncture below her navel.

Kate was even tighter when she is pregnant, and the last thing he wants is to hurt her.

Kate feels her breath shortening, as Anthony presses her clit, alternating the movements of his fingers, letting them tease her entrance, and, as the pleasure begins to reverberate through her, she can't stop herself from making sounds each time more incoherent.

Her moans are like music to Anthony's ears, and he slides his fingers into her hot interior, grunting as he feels it clenching around them.

He lets his cock slide between her wet folds, heightening the anticipation of the moment for both of them, at the same time preparing himself to enter her.

Kate didn't know how much more she could take, having him make room for him inside her was driving her mad, the tip of his cock brushing her clit was turning her mind into a hazy of passion.

Anthony realizes how much Kate wants him, as she clenched around his fingers successively, and, he smiles happily, saying, as he slides inside her. “Fuck, my sweet, I want to be bathed in your pleasure… Will you come around my cock, as I give you my seed, so you can feel deep within you how much I love you?”

“Yeah…” It’s all Kate manages to say, loving the feel of him filling her completely.

She brings her hips against his, in a back-and-forth that builds their ecstasy with each thrust, as they move as one, in a leisurely rhythm, moaning in unison.

Anthony uses one hand to bring her face to his, while Kate intertwines his other hand with hers, resting them on her round belly, their wedding rings uniting, as well as their breaths.

The wind ran through them, as well as the veils over their skin, as they intensified the cadence of their rhythm, their love impelling them to go further, as they marked each other with their kisses, which made them feel the other under their skins, in a fiery trail, which spread to their souls, making them feel as one.

They touched each other with their eyes, with their breaths, with their hands that met, as well as their bodies, as well as their souls.

They felt so connected, through the ebb and flow of Anthony's cock, as Kate clenched around him, drawing him deeper and deeper, as if she wanted to keep him there forever, and, that makes his cock start twitch.

Anthony changes the angle of Kate's leg, using the hand that was on her face to slide down her body to do it, then he reaches it to her clit, and, starts to make circular movements on it, making her shudder with delight.

Feeling her shiver, breathing along her every breath, going deeper, elates him, and, he says, ardently. “Fuck, Katie.. I love feeling you coating my cock, clenching around it like this…”

“Fuck… Tony… I.. love.. it.. too… I.. love.. you.” She said, panting, feeling the tension built in her lower abdomen about to burst.

Her words hit him, and, the pleasure overwhelms him, and Anthony knows that he won't be able to take it anymore. “I love you too.. I love.. you.. Come with me.. come…”

His lilting words fall on her ears, and.. his cock inside her, his body close to hers, his kisses, his caresses on her clit are too much for Kate, and, she falls over the edge.

Anthony feels her coming around him, and, he comes along her, releasing his seed inside her, moaning in satisfaction.

Pleasure enraptures them, releasing the desires of their hearts, making them surrender, and succumb, to the ecstasy that consumed them with passion and love.

Kate threads her hands into Anthony's hair, pulling his face against hers, deepening the kiss they shared, as they rode the waves of pleasure together, drinking in his moans like a thirsty woman.

Joy invades them, and, they smile at each other, feeling their bodies tingling, and, pant.

“I want to always be like this with you, Katie.” Anthony says, fascinated by her eyes, which were incandescent with light and love.

At that moment, Kate feels again that everything will remain well in her world, because she knows that a love like theirs would never leave them. “We already are, my love. We will always be like this.”

Anthony smiled at her. "That's my Kate. Always looking forward."

To know that no matter what the future held, they would face it together, and, that their love would always give them the strength, that it would always lead them to this happiness, soothes his heart.

He kisses her shoulder then, adjusting her in his embrace. ''Katie. There's something I wanted to say."

Kate turned around to face him, curious. "What is it?"

Anthony took a deep breath. "I know we've been through a lot together. And I just wanted to say.. that I'm grateful for every moment we've had."

Kate felt her heart swell with emotion. “As am I, Tony. I would not change a single moment of your lives, because in each one of them, you were there with me.”

They leaned in, sharing a tender kiss, feeling the warmth of each other's embrace.

🦋

“Don't do that, Mayan…..” Anya exclaimed, irritated, which was rare for his daughter.

“Appa said that we should taste it before putting it in the oven.” He replied sullenly, which was not uncommon in these days.

Just like Edmund appeasing them, like now. “Alright… Appa said we should taste it, but, there's no reason to do it with your finger, when you can do it with a spoon… Also, if the food is hot and you do that, you'll burn yourself.”

Mayan rolls his eyes, and Anya smiles happily at her older brother.

Anthony laughs from the kitchen doorway, giving away his presence to his children.

“Appa!” The three exclaim in unison.

“What are you three up to, so early, munchkins?” He asks, as he approaches them.

“Amma mentioned that she had a craving yesterday, so we decided to get up early and bake her a cake, just like you taught us.” Anya told, earnestly.

And, Anthony felt his heart swell with pride, as he looked at his children.

He was going to open his mouth to say that he would help them then, but, his children gasped then, and, he turned to look in the direction...

Jesus!

Gertrude had arrived.

The old witch was not only still alive, but, she was even looking uglier, like a scythe fight.

“Gertrude…” He greeted her, forcing a smile, denying his urge to flinch back. If she hadn't brought his children into this world, and, if Kate didn't trust her so much, Anthony wouldn't have her coming near him even with a cross in hand. Someone so old, that looked like this.. it was not natural!

“Your Grace… I heard you made a new offspring….” She exclaimed, in a hoarse voice, walking into the kitchen.

“Yes.. yes.. it is due to be born in a couple of months….” Anthony replied.

“Why was I summed here, in this far, and hot land?” She asked, shrewishly.

"I couldn't make Katie travel back under such condition, could I?" He replied, a bit vexed.

“Hmm.. But you could bring me here, under these conditions…” She huffed. "At least you took your time to reproduce this time… I hope you're thinking about stopping, because as cute as your children are, I won't be around much longer… "

“God forbid!” Anthony muttered, through clenched teeth, at the idea of her staying around much longer.

It was softly enough that in her old age she couldn't hear it, but, his children heard and burst out of laugher, earning a suspicious look from her, which sent shivers down his spine.

Great..  his pleasant morning is completely gone!

🦋

Kate would never admit out loud, but, she was glad when her confinement period arrived, she enjoyed being able to slow down their pace, and be able to rest.

She wasn’t on her 20’s anymore, and, her back ached all the time. Besides, she could not even see her feet any longer!

So, she was spending much more time inside the Palace.

To the delight of her Tatta, who was able to have her and the children more constantly in his presence.

Anthony had thought that he might enjoy it just as much, but, with him being a Duke and the husband of a Rani, he had been invited to a few diplomatic meetings by Kate's uncle.

Maharaja Odara was a very quirky man, and, with an even quirkier sense of humor, and, it took Anthony a while to get used to that.

For example, Maharaja Odara liked to take the entire family for a picnic every year, at the banks of the river where he nearly drowned as a child.

Anthony didn't understand his desire to return to a place where such a traumatic event for him had occurred, Aubrey Hall still being a complicated place for Anthony to live in, even after so many years.

“You don't understand… do you, child?” He asked, at seeing the expression on his face, once they’ve got there.

Anthony shakes his head.

“Many think that this is where I almost died, but, I think this is where I was reborn. I could have died, but, due to my ability to surrender myself to the force of the current, I was able to be released, and, to live...'' He told.

Then, he putted his hand on Anthony’s shoulder. “Every time I have a challenge, I come here to remind myself that even though I feel stuck and do not know what to do, it doesn't mean there isn't a way out. It just means that I have to be willing to believe and let go. That I have to remember of what truly matters.”

Anthony is speechless. That was quite the perspective for one to have, about what happened to them throughout life.

Agnimukha approaches them, asking his brother what he said to Anthony, for him to be gawking like this.

“I just explained to him my rationale for coming here every year.” Odara replied, with joviality.

“Ah…” He exclaims, with understanding.

It was true, their lives changed here, if his brother had died, maybe he would never have gone to England, maybe he would never have met Edwina, maybe his family would be completely different today.

It could be bigger, or smaller, he could have suffered less or more, but, in the end, when he sees his great-grandchildren playing near the riverbank, in the same river where he had played so many times, he knows that he would not choose to take any another life.

Anthony realizes that the brothers were reminiscing, so he goes to Kate, who was sitting against the bole of a large tree, eating fruits, which were in a bowl, supported on her round belly.

Their baby was due any day now, and he dragged Gertrude with them everywhere, just in case.

When looking at that old witch, who seemed to have all the years of the world, and, never die, Anthony knows, that although he shivers coldly all over, by looking at her, that if she manages to stay alive this far, she would be able to deliver their baby safely.

And, if getting his Kate and their baby safe and sound meant having to deal with her creepy presence daily, so be it.

Apparently Kate's uncle's logic seems to be getting the better of him, as well as Kate, who asks him, shortly after he sits down beside him, while offering him a piece of mango.

"What do you think our lives would have been like if I hadn't chased that butterfly? If my Chaacha had died?"

"You would find me, or I would find you. There is no doubt in my mind that in all our lives we are destined to run onto each other, be it through time, or in a competition or a play, lost in a storm, or found in a ride, or an opera, even if we were continents apart, I would've made my way to you, Kate.” He says, with devotion, his eyes gleaming with love and not a single shade of doubt.

Kate feels her heart leaping, in joy, in admiration, in adoration, feeling the love blossom once more in her chest, and expand, beyond herself. She says, touched, while stroking his hand. "And I you… Anthony, I…. Agh…"

"What is it?" Anthony exclaimed, startled, to see her put her hand between her legs.

"The baby…" She says, showing him her wet hand.

"Gertrude!!" He shouts, immediately.

The whole family stops to stare at them, at hearing his shouts, Anya, Mayan and Edmund run to them immediately.

“Amma?!” They exclaim together, with concern.

“I'm fine, my dear loves, Amma is fine… it's just your sibling, who wants to meet us today.” She says, reassuringly, doing her best to prevent the sharp pain, which crept up her spine, from appearing in her countenance.

Odara laughed, jubilant! “We're going to have one more reason to come back here and celebrate…! But, now disperse! Kathani doesn't need you hovering over her, while she's busy bringing our new family member into the world!”

The family scattered, giving them privacy, while her Tatta and Devi distracted their children, and, the staff ran after everything Gertrude barked at them that would be necessary.

Anthony sits behind Kate, worried about the situation, wanting to support her, as he sees the pain in her eyes.

She says, through clenched teeth, as she feels the wave of new contractions reverberate through her body. "We've agreed of not doing this again!"

"I wont touch you ever again, my love!" He says into her ear, placing a kiss on the side of her head.

Gertrude looks at them in astonishment. “What?! You're not going to fight this time?"

“The children are born faster and faster, at each time.” Kate replies, panting, feeling the need to push.

At the same time Anthony says, smiling. "We don't have the time for this."

They smile at each other, but then, Kate grimaces, and, Anthony holds out his hand to her, who squeezes it tightly, starting to push.

She screams, pushes, falls against his chest, breathing with him, again and again, until, not long after, her baby comes into the world.

Screaming and kicking at the top of her lungs, a perfect blend of her and Anthony.

“She definitely inherited our short temper.” Anthony hums happily in Kate's ear, as Gertrude prepares her, to bring her to them. It makes Kate giggle, in pure bliss, never taking her eyes off of their baby.

As Gertrude places her daughter in her arms, Kate feels tears trickle between her smile, a smile that only gets bigger as Anthony's arms encircle the two of them, and, he places his chin on her shoulder, at the same time their daughter opens her eyes.

They look at her, enraptured. “Mary…. Hi little Mary! We are your parents!”

She moved her head a little, trying to associate them with the sounds she heard, and, they smiled even more.

He says, kissing her little hand. “This is your Amma, Kate, and, I am your Appa… I love you very much, my daughter, and so does your Amma.”

“You are a gift from the Gods and Goddesses in our lives, our dear love. You are so welcomed! May you be blessed, may you find love in your every step.” She says, kissing her little cheek.

Agnimukha looks relieved at them, for despite all the hardships that they have faced in their lives, this has made it possible for them to be together and to form such a beautiful family.

Once again, the river has changed his family's fate. Once again life had triumphed. He thinks happily.

He goes to them, to meet his new great granddaughter, as well as his great-grandchildren, running ahead of him, eager to meet their sister.

Devi right behind them.

Agnimukha is delighted at seeing Mary for the first time, picking her up in his arms, showing her to them, who circle him, eagerly.

Kate and Anthony looks at them, then they look at each other, knowing that the kind of love they felt truly transcends time and space, that in any lifetime, and in any dimension, they would find each other, and fall in love.

“You know what I was going to tell you, before I went into labor?” She asks, leaning her head against his shoulder.

As they watched the family approaching and cooing around their daughter.

"What?" He asks, at full peace with life.

“That I will always find my way to you too. Because there's nothing more I need or want than loving you!" She says, in love.

“I am so glad that you came into my life, Kate, there is no other life for me but you. I love you!" He says, completely in love, feeling the love strengthening and growing inside him.

Feeling her joy and love becoming far too great to fit only inside her anymore, Kate says, enamored. “I love you, Anthony.”

"Forever!" They say at the same time, ebulliently, touching their foreheads, their mouths coming together in a lingering kiss.

As lingering as the love they’ve felt for one another, for they know that the reason why they will always find one another, in every universe, in very lifetime, it is because they make part of the other, as they always have, as they always will.

Forever.

Chapter Text

Anthony looks at the green fields of Aubrey Hall, full of people, his grandsons played with colorful kites along Gareth, his granddaughters chased after butterflies along Gregory’s twins, their laughter reached him through the window, of his study, where he looked at them with a thousand thoughts passing at the same time by his mind.

His youngest one, his Mary, who had given back the sparkle to her mother's eyes, and had filled their lives with joy and color…. He exhales heavily.

Accepting the Duke's proposal would mean to letting her go, and.. also, her being happy, giving him more grandsons and granddaughters... Kate would love that... And, if he were honest with himself, so would he.

Then he turns, measuring the Duke with his eyes. “Our family is a bit… boisterous, as you can see. United. You are prepared to be a part of it..? Because, even if I agree to give her hand in marriage, she will still be one of us.” He told him, in all seriousness.

He sees the young Duke, who had inherited his dukedom prematurely, just like him. The Duke swallows hard, and nods, something fierce lighting up in his gaze.

A flame Anthony knew intimately, for 50 years now to be exact.

As much as he wanted to say that 21 was still too soon, Kate had married him being even younger, and, 35 years later, they were more in love than ever.

“With all due respect, Your Grace, one of the reasons I fell in love with your daughter, is because of the way she loves her family. I would never take her away from all of you.” The Duke replied, seriously.

And, Anthony remembers, that he, unlike him, had no siblings. He sighs, and, says begrudgingly. “Very well, if Mary wishes to marry you, and.. her mother, the Princess, agrees with this union, I will give your union my blessing.”

The Duke just gulped once more, the Princess was known to be relentless in the protection of her loved ones.

🦋

"Amma, Appa said we could only get married if you gave us your blessing..." Mary said, sitting on the bed, while Kate oiled her hair, getting ready to go to bed.

Kate laughs in amusement, her eyes rolling with affection. Of course Anthony had said such a thing.

“Amma!” Mary exclaimed, when she saw that her mother was having fun with the whole situation.

Kate just rises from the stool, entering her closet, picking up the wooden box, with golden mandalas, lovingly tracing it's patterns, taking a moment for herself.

Now it would just be it that she would keep, since one of the bangles she had already given to Anya, a few years prior, and now...

She takes the bangle, and returns the box in its place, returning to her bedroom, sitting on the bed, next to her daughter.

“Your Tatta gave me this weeding bangle before he passed away, they belonged to your Paatti.” She tells her, with emotion.

Mary takes the golden bangle in her hands, and caresses it, mesmerized.

“Amma… this… are you sure?” She asks, feeling a lump in her throat.

“When I received the weeding bangles…” Kate sighs. “I thought your Appa would propose to me in that night, and, I imagined my whole life with him, including the moment when I would give them to my daughters.”

Kate then smiles warmly to her. "I'm sure, my dear one.”

Mary looks thoughtfully at the bangle. “I .. also dream of my life with Lijah… But, I wonder if it will be possible to lead a life as wonderful as yours and Appa's.” She confesses.

Her mother intertwines her hand in hers, and, Mary feels the warmth of her palm, enveloping her, as well as the warmth of her eyes, which welcomed her.

Then, that lump in her throat seems to rise to her eyes, and, she feels a tear run from them, wetting her skin, making her feel very small all of a sudden.

Her Amma wipes her tear, gently, soothing her, in a way that only she could, even with her no longer being a child.

“Oh.. my dear heart.. My life was not how I imagined it. It was worse in many ways.” Kate tells her, lightly.

Mary looks at her in astonishment.

“And so much better in many, many others, in a way that my mind couldn't even imagine them. But, I don't regret a thing, I would go through it all again, because…” Kate chuckles, her body shaking along with it.

“When you reach a certain age, you learn that the rain is needed for a flower to bloom, my daughter. You learn that if you hadn't gone through the challenges, and, hadn't learned from them, you wouldn't have found that friend, or learned that lesson, that made it possible for you to be happy later... Look at me and your Appa..., because we didn't see where we were going, we bumped onto each other, with such force, that we fell to the ground… Your Appa lost his kite, and, the butterfly I was chasing flied away.” Kate told her, remembering of that moment fondly.

“And how did you two became such good friends after that?” Mary asked, curiously. She didn't knew of that, all she, and her siblings, knew was that their parents had known and loved each other since… forever.

She can't imagine someone with their tempers becoming friends after such an outcome. She certainly would not, especially, at that age.

“He helped me to get up, as I helped him. And when our eyes met… That was all it took.” Kate says, with a nostalgic look on her face.

Mary gets crestfallen then. “We will never love each other like this.”

Kate laughs openly now, getting her attention.

“Of course not, my darling. You are Mary and Elijah, not Kate and Anthony… You will love each other as you are, and, that's enough. It was our love that made each of our moments precious, whether they were bad or good, because we were always there at each others side, no matter what. And, it will be your love that will guarantee that it is the same for you also.” Kate tells her, reassuringly.

Mary muses about it, thinking that she would never want for a love like this to end, that she would want to keep it in her life, always. This makes her ask. “Don’t you fear the end, Amma?”

This makes Kate laugh even harder, the years where she feared were long gone. “What end, my daughter? If there's something that so many losses have taught me throughout my life, it's that love stays. I see your Tatta in your brothers, your Paatti in you and your sister. Just as you can always find me and your Appa in your hearts. You.. are the fruit of our love, and, you can always find it in you, and, as you get married, and, have your own children, you will passed it on, as well as your own love. And one day, somewhere, all of our souls will meet again.”

“How are you so sure, Amma?” Mary questions, in wonder. This was not the reply she was expecting.

“Because it was like this for your Appa and me.” Kate says, simply. "Once I’ve told him that pain and happiness comes and goes, and, that only love remains. There will be loss, my darling, because it makes part of life, as mistakes, as victories, and… joy, beyond your dreams. And, love, which you've already found. Love will always help you to find the calm in your storms, to remember of the rainbow that comes after it. There's nothing to fear, hm? So… instead of worrying about what may or may not happen, why don’t you go to celebrate with your fiancé what is?"

Mary looks at her Amma, and, she is once again stunned by the love her parents have for one another, a love that guided them throughout their entire lives, and now, it was guiding her as well.

“Thank you, Amma.” Mary says, hugging her.

She feels so grateful for her blessing, for her words. Mary feels much more certain now.

Kate then plays with the tip of her nose, making Mary laugh, as she scrunches it, before rising, and getting out of the bedroom.

The emotion within Kate is no longer at bay, at seeing her baby girl become a woman, leaving the nest.

“Come on… I know you are there.” She says then, raising a knowing eyebrow, without turning around.

Anthony comes out of his closet, and, their watery gazes meet, like the first time.

Kate laughs again. “I thought you would be happy to have the house all to ourselves.”

Anthony comes in her direction, sitting beside her on the bed, letting his arms go around her, their bodies fitting together, as if they were molded for each other.

“Of course I am… Ever since we've got back from our honeymoon, I've had to steal moments of time to get alone with you, throughout all these years….” He says joyfully, even though he is still feeling quite emotional.

Then he gazes at the door, sighing. “Our little one.”

Kate nodded, then, she looked at him, and said. ”What a beautiful family we've built, Tony.”

“What a beautiful life we've lived, Katie.” Anthony says, turning his look back to hers, caressing her shoulder.

Despite the challenges they had faced together and the storms they had weathered, their love remained unwavering. They held hands, their pinkies intertwining, as always, remaining the symbol of the deep connection they shared.

They reminisced about their early days, about the challenges they had faced and how their love had helped them overcome every obstacle. They had supported each other through thick and thin, always standing by each other's side.

Their love was proof of the power that true companionship and unwavering commitment have. Always bringing them hope and more joy that they could have dream of.

Anthony looked at Kate with admiration, saying amorously. "You have been my rock, and, my pillar of strength, Katie. At each passing day, I am more grateful for our love."

Kate smiled, her adoration filling her eyes with light, saying. “As you have been my anchor, keeping me grounded and giving me the courage to face anything that comes our way, Tony.”

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, enjoying each other's presence, and, the calm they brought to one another.

They were a living testament that true love knows no bounds and can withstand the test of time.

“Our lives changed when our children came to us, and they will change again now that they all left the nest. What do you want to do now, in the face of this new horizon that opens up before us, my love?” Kate wonders, resting her head on his shoulder.

Anthony tilts his head, as he looks into Kate's eyes, and, she doesn't need for him to say the words, because she already knows, because she feels the same.

A smile spreads across her face.

As she falls in love again, at seeing that same captivating smile, that has been driving her mad for decades now.

As does he, at seeing that same glint in her gaze, that fascinates him still.

At the locking of their gazes, at finding what they find in its depths… Some people say a soulmate it is finding your best friend, others say it is finding your other half, some say it's that person who loved you and accepted you and believed in you, when no one else, sometimes including yourself, did. Others say it's someone who inspires you to be better. Someone who will accompany you for the rest of your life.

But, Anthony and Kate know that a soulmate it is someone that you meet and makes you know what love truly means, at just looking at them, like now, just like back then.

For when Anthony met her, he discovered what love is, Kate.

Because Kate discovered what love is, when she met him. Love is Anthony.

It is someone who was born along your soul, that knows you like no other, your person, whose love has no beginning and no end, surviving across the ages and time. Crossing lives and dimensions.

Together, they lived, eternalizing their moments in time. The flames never being able to burn their love, for it is made of fire, and from them it is always reborn.

At each moment, at each breath, at each beat of their hearts.

They feel it in all of who they are, always.

Anthony smile widens, exposing his dimple, when Kate kisses his cheek, emitting a giggle that makes him shiver, and, he replies. "I just want to love you."

🦋