Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Collections:
✨Works i have reread at least twice ✨
Stats:
Published:
2023-07-02
Words:
1,955
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
204
Kudos:
10,666
Bookmarks:
1,718
Hits:
45,630

NA NA NA NA Batdad!

Summary:

The irony of Batman having that coffee mug was amusing. The thought of Brucie Himbo Trainwreck Wayne owning it was hysterical. Ollie took a quick swallow of coffee to push back a laugh. “I like the coffee mug. A friend of mine has the same one.”

Notes:

Timeline? What timeline?

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

It wasn’t that Ollie didn’t think the monthly JLA meetings were important, it was just that he was already overdosed on meetings and honestly, Batman always seemed to have everything under control.

Case in point.

“There’s the additional matter of the security upgrades.” Batman was the only one in full costume, but he was leaning forward on his elbows and drinking coffee out of a blue and black travel mug, so for him that was practically casual. “If the League has no objections, I have a couple of experts I use for my own systems that I can bring in.”

Considering the Bat was the most paranoid man in the world, Ollie couldn’t imagine he hadn’t vetted his experts. “No objections,” he said, and the rest of the team echoed him.

Batman nodded, unsurprised. It rubbed Ollie a little bit the wrong way, that the man always seemed to expect them to agree with him, but also Ollie usually agreed with him so it was kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. “I’ll loop in my people then. One of them will need physical access to the Watchtower.”

“I’d suggest an escort,” Ollie said. “No offense, but if we’re bringing in civilians, no matter how well-trusted, we should probably have someone keeping an eye on them. Especially if the security systems will be down for maintenance at the same time.”

Superman of all people looked a little non-plussed by that. “I’d hardly call Red Robin a civilian,” he said.

Ollie thought the name sounded a little familiar - one of Arsenal’s teammates, perhaps? He knew there was a Red-someone at least.

“It’s a reasonable precaution,” Batman said. His words were in complete agreement with Ollie, his tone indicated that he thought it was unnecessary. Honestly Ollie wanted to strangle him sometimes. “I’ll make sure there’s an extra person on duty that night. Is there anything else we need to discuss before we break?”

The meeting sort of slowly grumbled to a close. Normally the Bat would disappear as soon as the meeting was over, but tonight he was taking his time, talking to Superman and Wonder Woman. Lingering wasn’t something Ollie usually associated with him, but that was definitely what he was doing. Ollie, unfortunately, couldn’t do the same.

“Heading out already?” Superman clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“I have an early meeting with the CEO of Wayne Enterprises,” Ollie said. “He’s never late, so I need to head to Gotham.”

“Courteous,” Wonder Woman said in an approving tone.

Ollie grinned. “I think the kid just never sleeps. Makes me feel old.”

Batman muttered something under his breath. It sounded like tell me about it. He took a long drag of his coffee. “Good luck with your meeting. I’ll let you all know once I have the security upgrades scheduled.”

“Thanks, I’ll-” The metallic silver lettering on the front of Batman's mug caught Ollie’s eye and he stopped with a laugh. “Oh my god, that’s hilarious.”

I’m not saying I’m BATMAN, the mug proclaimed in shiny holo letters, with Batman’s name inside a stylized bat logo, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in a room together.

“Thanks,” Batman said in a painfully dry voice. “My son gave it to me for Father’s Day.”

Ollie grinned, remembering a dozen ridiculous yet somehow wholeheartedly earnest gifts from Roy and Mia and Connor over the years. “Kids are nuts, right? They could give you an empty paper bag and somehow that’s just the best paper bag ever.”

Batman returned the grin, though his was a little wry at the corners. “My oldest signed me up for a dating service for senior citizens.”

“Make sure he and Roy never meet,” Ollie said. “For the sake of my ego if nothing else.”

Batman gave him a weird look. “Ollie. You’ve met-”

“You have kids?!” Hal practically hip-checked Ollie out of the way. “Let me get this straight. You-” he pointed a finger at Batman’s chest but stopped himself from actually poking him which was probably good for the integrity of his wrist “-the scariest man in the world - are secretly a dad?”

“I wasn’t aware it was a secret,” Batman said.

“You’ve met his kids, Hal,” Superman said. “Some of them anyway.”

Hal practically choked. “I’m sorry, I’ve what?”

As much fun as the chaos sounded, Ollie really did need to go. He made a mental note to call Hal after his meeting the next day and find out where he’d met the Batman’s kid.

Kids. Plural.

Ollie shook his head. Who would have thought? Bats and their secrets.

The downside to early meetings at Wayne Enterprises was that it involved going to New fucking Jersey. The upside was that Tim Wayne knew how to cater a meeting.

“One day you’re going to tell me where you get your coffee,” Ollie said.

“If I do it’ll be only seconds before I have you killed,” Tim said.

One of the executives whose name Ollie could never remember gave the kid a scandalized look which Tim ignored like a pro. Ollie returned it with a look of condescension that he felt in his soul before turning his attention back to Tim. “I’m not above bribery.”

Tim grinned at him. It looked real, and not the carefully measured ones Tim used in meetings, and Ollie gloated a little at the sign that the kid was warming up to him. His father and Ollie had never been particularly close, though Ollie didn’t think that Bruce Wayne was close to much of anyone. But he was definitely making headway with Tim.

“Let’s talk business,” Ollie said. “How would you like to be CEO of Queen Industries?” He took another sip of the coffee and leaned back in his chair. “All I need is the name of your supplier.”

Tim arched a single eyebrow at him and opened his mouth for what was guaranteed to be a reply so cutting and dry that it literally drew blood, then blinked. “Dad?”

Bruce Wayne brushed past Ollie’s chair and stopped next to his son. Wayne was dressed relatively casual, compared to the rest of the room, in a comfortable looking blue sweater and black slacks. His hair was the sort of tousled that might have taken an hour in front of the mirror to achieve, or might have been the result of him running his hands through his hair in the car. He leaned his hip against Tim’s chair and looked down at Tim with a soft, almost painfully fond smile. Bruce might be kind of a dumbass, but whenever Ollie saw him interacting with his children he was reminded why he liked the guy anyway. “I’d offer you double whatever he promises you, but you’re probably already getting it.”

Tim beamed back at him and for a split second looked every inch the seventeen-year-old he was. “I didn’t know you were coming today.”

“Gotta remind the Board I’m still alive every once in a while,” Bruce said. He took a gulp from his metallic blue coffee mug and offered Ollie a little wave of his fingers. “Morning, Oliver. Stop trying to steal my kid.”

“Tell him to stop being so good at his job then,” Ollie returned.

“This sounds like a lose/lose for me,” Bruce said. “If you poach my kid I’ll buy that coffee manufacturer and blacklist you.”

“We actually already own it,” Tim said. He tipped his head back and gave his father a sheepish grin. “They were going under but the product was worth the investment.”

Bruce lifted one eyebrow in an expression that looked entirely too knowing for a guy who’d once needed Ollie to open a child-proof top on a bottle of Tylenol. “Profitable now, I assume?”

Tim leaned back in his seat and gave his father a vaguely affronted look.

Bruce laughed. “I withdraw the question. All right, I need a refill before we get started or I’ll be asleep and snoring halfway through the minutes.” He waved his hopefully-empty coffee mug in the air and took a step away.

Something metallic and silver flashed and caught Ollie’s eye. The mug, he realized. Silver metallic lettering on the side facing away from him that he hadn’t noticed until Bruce started waving it around. Silver holo lettering. About Batman.

The irony of Batman having that coffee mug was amusing. The thought of Brucie Himbo Trainwreck Wayne owning it was hysterical. Ollie took a quick swallow of coffee to push back a laugh. “I like the coffee mug. A friend of mine has the same one.”

Bruce blinked at him for a moment, then looked down at the mug in his hands as if he was only just now seeing it. “Oh,” he said, in an odd tone. He glanced at Ollie out of the side of his eye, then at Tim for a long moment. Tim lifted a single eyebrow back, and his mouth curved up into a wicked-looking grin that struck Ollie as weirdly familiar.

Then Bruce turned to Ollie and grinned and it made Ollie feel like he should be watching his back. His eyes were gleaming with something knowing and sharp that pinned Ollie in his seat. “Thanks,” he said and his tone was different. Deeper, gravelly.

Familiar.

“My son gave it to me for Father’s Day,” Bruce said, in Batman’s voice.

Ollie will deny it later in retellings of the story, but he froze in his seat like a rabbit in the headlights of an oncoming train.

Bruce looked down at Tim with that same fond smile from before - the same smile he’d worn while talking about his kids last night on the Watchtower because he’s the goddamn Batman - and reached down to brush a strand of hair away from his son’s eyes. “You know how it is with kids, Queen.”

“Even the dumbest gifts are special,” Ollie said. His voice came out mostly normal sounding which was some kind of miracle because he was pretty sure he was hyperventilating. There were maybe - maybe - three or four capes in the world who knew Batman’s identity. It was one of the best-kept secrets in the world, information that some people would literally kill for, and Bruce fucking Wayne had just dropped it in Ollie’s lap like an afterthought. “The senior citizen dating app was Dick, wasn’t it?”

“Jason got him a subscription to a parenting magazine for single moms.” Tim hid a grin behind his coffee mug - just a plain white one from the catering cart which was good because Ollie wasn’t prepared for any other life-changing revelations.

“It had some really useful information, actually.” Bruce combed his fingers through Tim’s hair one last time before heaving a heavy sigh. The wry edge of his grin and the knowing look in his eye vanished as if they’d never been, and Brucie was back. “Anyway, I’m going to get some coffee and grab a seat as far from Gregg Farnbach as possible so he can’t tell if I fall asleep halfway through.”

Ollie took a deep breath. “Why - I hadn’t figured anything out,” he said a little helplessly.

Bruce shrugged. “It’s been a long time. I trust you. Besides,” he said with a bright flash of white teeth that made every hair on the back of Ollie’s neck stand up. “Who the hell would ever believe you?”

Ollie watched him walk away and turned to stare at Tim.

“Right?” Tim said.

Ollie made a sound that was probably agreement.

“You should probably stop trying to poach his kid, though.”

Ollie set his coffee down on the table and buried his face in his hands.

Even if Ollie would ever say anything, Hal would never believe him.