Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The sun shone through the windows. Should the window have been open, it would’ve been possible to hear the breeze gently brushing the leaves on the trees covering the cliff’s side, or the birdsong. The sky was blue with a few white clouds dotting it, and a contrail left by a passing plane.

The room itself was peaceful. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Or, more likely, you would hear the two occupants of the bed gently breathing. They were sleeping in the nude. A thin blanket, fit for the summer warmth, lay near the edge, almost thrown off the bed entirely.

Zatanna Zatara gently opened and closed her mouth a few times, like she was chewing on thin air. As she slowly worked her way out of sleep, she opened her eyes. She saw the lovely day outside, the houses on the hill opposite theirs, and the trees lying still. Her eyes then wandered back to her immediate surroundings. She had her arms wrapped around her wife, Gisella Zatara, and had slept with her head resting on her shoulder.

Zatanna smiled. She gently laughed as she saw they had kicked the blanket off themselves in the night, likely due to it getting too warm. Then she returned to focusing on her wife, who was still sound asleep. Her hair looked quite messy and dishevelled as it hung over her eye. Zatanna couldn’t resist the urge to gently brush it and play with it. She always tried to tell Gisella that the principle of the peekaboo hairstyle is that it’s supposed to cover your right eye, and brought irrefutable evidence from some of cinema’s greatest sex symbols. However, Gisella sometimes just didn’t listen – or maybe she misapplied the peekaboo on purpose because it was an easy way to tease and flirt with her wife.

Gisella yawned and slowly stirred from her sleep as well. Upon seeing this, Zatanna assumed the proper position: on her side, her head raised and resting on her arm, her face bearing a seductive smile.

Gisella slowly opened her eyes. Sure, one of them was hidden behind her hair, but that just concentrated her field of view. She was laying on her back, so the first thing she saw was the white ceiling, illuminated by the sunlight. Then she looked around and her eyes met Zatanna’s. She reciprocated with a smile as seductive as it was playful.

The two stood for a few moments there, silently looking at each other.

“Morning.”, Zatanna said with playful nonchalance.

“Morning.”, Gisella replied in kind.

Zatanna chuckled. “Sleep well?”, she asked.

“Oh yeah.”, Gisella said. “I had this wonderful pair of pillows.” Her voice switched into a comedic storytelling mode, and she began gesturing with her hands to punctuate it. “They were about yea big, and they were so soft and comfy, yet robust. They were so amazing. I recommend them heartily.”

Zatanna raised one of her eyebrows. “You don’t say?”, she quipped. “Did they look like this, by chance?”, she asked, cupping her breasts with her hands.

Gisella looked at Zatanna’s chest with mock inquisitiveness. “Hmm, they look quite familiar.”, she joked. “I’ll need to check…” She reached out with her hand and fondled Zatanna’s breast. “Yep, they looked like this. They felt like this.”, she said. “Small world, huh?”

Zatanna and Gisella looked at each other before they both burst into laughter. They then embraced each other and kissed. Each of them wrapped their arms around the other with a grip that was as loving as it was strong.

“<I love you, darling.>”, Zatanna said in Italian.

“<I love you too, darling.>”, Gisella replied in Italian.

After kissing, they once again faced each other in bed, holding hands with intertwined fingers.

Zatanna used her free hand to point towards the door. “Should we… get up?”, she said.

Gisella flashed her a naughty smile, and pulled Zatanna on top of her. “Nope.”, she said playfully. “I haven’t finished getting my beauty sleep.”

Zatanna raised her eyebrow. “Well, how am I supposed to keep warm if I’m your blanket?”, she jokingly protested.

“Oh, easy, I’ll clone myself!”, Gisella joked. “It’ll be a Zatara sandwich!”

Zatanna wrapped her arms around Gisella and then rolled to the side on the bed, thus managing to bring about a reversal, with herself on the bottom and Gisella on top of her.

She flashed Gisella a naughty smile and mildly smacked her bottom. “Giddy up.”, she said.

Gisella jokingly made a mopey face and replied, “Fine.” They both got out of bed.

Zatanna pointed at the bed and said “deb eht ekaM”. It magically made itself.

Gisella snapped her fingers and instantly changed clothes. She now wore a vintage blue skirt suit with a white shirt and bow, and blue high-heels. It was her favourite outfit – not least because it was also Zatanna’s outfit. She smiled smugly and struck a pose, closing her eyes for a moment.

Zatanna took advantage of her wife’s closed eyes to jokingly roll hers. She thought that there went her chance to go to the bathroom and wash her face first. “Alright, if that’s the way you want it…”, she joked as Gisella opened her eyes again, and then waved her hand in the air and said, “desserd teg dna naelc hsaW”.

In an instant, Zatanna was wearing her outfit. Her only outfit – she didn’t need any other outfit, just like Gisella didn’t need any other outfit either. Her trusty tuxedo, bowtie, top hat, and fishnet stockings, complete with the white gloves. And in the boutonnière of the tuxedo jacket, she wore Gisella’s favourite flower: a red rose.

Satisfied, Gisella grinned from ear to ear. She ran towards Zatanna and jumped on her back, with Zatanna catching her ably.

“Darling, you’re impossible.”, Zatanna joked.

Gisella tightened her grasp on Zatanna from the back. “I know.”, she replied sing-song, and kissed Zatanna’s cheek.

Zatanna exhaled happily and made a lifting motion, pretending her wife was a backpack she was steadying. “I mean, you know the rules of the Zatara household.”, she joked as she walked out of the room giving her wife a piggyback ride. “My word is law.”

“I know, I know, dear.”, Gisella replied, nuzzling her face against Zatanna’s cheek. “I just enjoy it when you take command.”

Zatanna smiled. Her walk became more of a cocky strut as she made her way downstairs with Gisella on her back.

She thought, The truth is… I kind of enjoy starting the day by taking charge too.

Chapter Text

Zatanna and Gisella were sat on the couch on the main floor’s living room. They had their legs propped up on the table in front of them, one arm around each other’s shoulder, and the other was being used to eat their breakfast: caffè latte and fette biscottate on a small saucer. They were watching TV, specifically California Public Television on channel 28.

Gisella wasn’t really paying attention to the news, but she could tell her wife was quite absorbed in it. They were both eating fette biscottate and drinking coffee rather messily, but each time, Gisella snapped her fingers and vanished any stains or spillage, keeping her blue skirt suit and Zatanna’s tuxedo permanently impeccable. Zatanna seemed quite animated by the news, and at one point she thrust her gloved hand into the air and cheered, “Yes! Woo!”.

There was a map of California on screen, with the counties coloured in various colours - green, blue, red, purple. The left side of the screen was filled with some names and numbers that Gisella would’ve struggled to grasp what they were supposed to mean:

The table just sort of went on and dissolved into an even bigger puddle of names and increasingly tinier numbers and phrases like “no party preference” and “(write-in)”.

Eating her food and drinking her coffee, some words from the TV drifted in and out of Gisella’s attention, making just as much sense as anything did to her:

… “the crucial matter, of course, will be the electoral fusion agreements concluded before November” …

… “a certainty that Governor Fairchild will run again on a Progressive–Democratic–Green fusion ticket as she did in 2018” …

… “given the bad blood, we can’t expect Dahle to endorse Baiul” …

… “Ventresca” … “poor name recognition” … “uphill battle against the popular incumbent” …

Gisella looked at Zatanna and saw that she was happy. That made her feel happy. She smiled and lifted her hand slightly to play with Zatanna’s luscious long locks.

Gisella’s previous life in the 5^th dimension felt like a dream to her, at times. Time was infinite, reality no match for her whims. She didn’t really have to do anything. She could more or less just sleepwalk throughout existence and it wouldn’t make a difference. She didn’t have much in common with the scrawny runts with unpronounceable names that populated the dimension, except for the unpronounceable name.

She’d lost count of how many times she and Zatanna had reminisced over the anecdote of their first introduction, and it never ceased being funny.

They were shaking hands. “I’m Zatanna Zatara, magician from Earth.”, Zatanna said. “What’s your name?”

“Ms. Gsptlsnz.”, she replied. She had pronounced it like dominoes of consonants all knocking the next one down, with no vowels anywhere in sight.

Zatanna’s pleasant smile turned to polite confusion. “I’m sorry, how did you say that?”

She shrugged and simply replied, “Ms. Gsptlsnz.” This time it sounded even more like a consonant gargle. Maybe a Czech, Slovak, or even Pole might feel right at home.

Zatanna giggled. “Can I buy a vowel?”, she quipped.

She looked and thought silently for a moment, then replied, “… what’s a vowel?”.

At least Zatanna could call upon her magic to pronounce her name flawlessly. But once they’d settled on Earth after the last gleaming, as they were ready to marry, Zatanna politely suggested that perhaps her lucky bride-to-be might… consider… changing her name a bit to accommodate human tongues. They could hardly count on finding only public officials and clerks and the like who happened to also speak Klingon.

“Eh, sure, whatever”, she said with a shrug. It’s not like it made a difference, did it?

She ended up writing on the marriage certificate “Gisella Zatara”. 5^th dimensional imps only had one name, so when prompted by the clerk to insert a surname, she simply used Zatanna’s. After all, Zatanna already had one. The clerk probably wouldn’t have the patience to explain to her first what surnames were and why humans had started using them. “Gisella” was Zatanna’s suggestion. She took Zatanna’s word for it that it was a lovely Italian name – not that she knew what “Italian” was at that point.

Gisella hadn’t been called “Ms. Gsptlsnz” since she’d settled down with Zatanna in their new home at 8505 Hollywood Boulevard, Los Angeles. In fact, even she hadn’t thought of herself like that since. She’d just quietly gotten used to being Gisella Zatara... just like that.

She’d been peripherally aware of humans and Earth before… mostly because there were two bozos in the 5^th dimension who kept harassing two – what were they called… superheroes? – and being such a pain even the dimensional council had to step in and slap them down. But then she met Zatanna.

She fell in love with Zatanna.

She stood hand-in-hand with Zatanna and the other superheroes at that last gleaming and won the fight.

She’d learned a lot about humans and things, but as her wife liked to joke, information still tended to go in one ear and out the other. She could pass the rest of her existence in comfort. But here, with her beloved Zatanna, Gisella felt passion, love, a desire to be good for Zatanna and to be desired by Zatanna.

It felt like home.

It most felt like home when they were making out and steadily diving together into amazing sex.

Chapter Text

Zatanna and Gisella were looking over the paper they used to divide their household chores. Every week, on Sunday, they would prepare the list for the following week, and thanks to the magic of… well, magic, they didn’t even need to waste paper, they could just overwrite it and keep it the same.

Every Sunday, the process was the same. Gisella would try to put down Zatanna for all the chores, causing her wife to jokingly call her a wastrel. Zatanna would try to put down Gisella for all the chores, causing her wife to jokingly call her a slavedriver. Zatanna would put on the pleading puppy-dog eyes and pour on the flattery extremely thick – just the way Gisella liked it. After enough pleading, Gisella would concede and accept, with a loud disclaimer that it was only this once, and they would both smile at the implicitly understood little game, knowing it would happen again the next week exactly the same, and repeat itself until the end of time.

After all, between the world’s most powerful magician and a 5^th dimensional imp who could bend reality at will, chores really weren’t a problem. But these little games and rituals were a cornerstone of the Zatara marriage, since they kept things fun and they helped constantly deepen Zatanna and Gisella’s bond. The two knew each other inside out, from top to bottom, from A to Z. They knew exactly how to push each other’s buttons and they relished in pushing them constantly, like a device built to dispense nothing but mutual pleasure and engineered to perfection.

Zatanna liked to cajole Gisella into handling more of the household maintenance. It was her one little indulgence of the marriage, knowing she could trust and rely on Gisella to handle things. Gisella liked to make Zatanna plead for it first. She liked their mutual play. Most of the time, she just wanted to be happily wrapped around Zatanna’s finger. Sometimes, she wanted to have Zatanna happily wrapped around her finger. The best part was, since they were both at each other’s beck and call, it just cancelled out and resulted in a position of pure equality.

“Looks like you’re on cleaning duty today, darling.”, Zatanna joked, holding her arm around Gisella’s shoulder.

“Yep, that’s what it says.”, Gisella said playfully. She closed her eyes, raised her right hand with a flourish, and snapped her fingers. Immediately, their entire house was clean and shiny.

Zatanna reached out with her hand and rubbed the tip of her gloved finger on the wall. She then inspected it closely. When she looked at her wife again, she was smug and insufferable…and perfect, just the way Zatanna loved her.

“Not bad, dear.”, Zatanna joked. Gisella replied by quietly assuming the pose of a self-satisfied noblewoman enjoying the smell of her own fart. Zatanna let her stay smugly still as she quietly reached for her tuxedo’s pocket, pulled out a tube of lipstick, and hastily applied it.

“You missed a spot, though.”, Zatanna added.

“Oh, really?”, Gisella replied playfully. “Where’s that?”

Zatanna gave her a naughty look and pulled her into a passionate kiss. She kissed Gisella all over her face, leaving thick and beautiful kiss marks on it. Not to be outdone, Gisella snapped her fingers and did likewise. The kissing session became quite intense as they both tightened their embrace, unwilling to be the first to let go.

When they were done, Zatanna and Gisella pulled back and stood still for a moment, each giving herself permission to feel pleasantly stunned. They both wandered over to the nearest mirror and stood in front of it admiring each other’s handiwork.

“Your human cartoons were right.”, Gisella joked. “Having a face covered in kisses really is the best!”

“Mm… yes.”, Zatanna said, aglow with pleasure. “This is me at my most beautiful. Thank you darling…”

They kissed again.

Gisella snapped her fingers and made little cartoon hearts pop up and float around them.

“Showoff.”, Zatanna joked before resuming French kissing.

Chapter Text

Zatanna’s mobile phone rang. She reached into her handbag and pulled it out. Before she had even gotten to it, she knew who was calling because of the ringtone. It was a bit of “Green”, from the album Frank Sinatra Conducts Tone Poems of Colour. She had assigned that ringtone, naturally, to She-Hulk.

Gisella leaned in out of curiosity, and rested her head on Zatanna’s shoulder. She saw the phone displayed the name “SHE-HULK”.

“Big green?”, Gisella remarked.

“Yup!”, Zatanna said. She pressed the green icon and put the phone to her ear. “Hi, Jen!”, she said cheerfully. “What’s up, doll?”

“Hi, Zanna!”, She-Hulk replied from the other end. “I’m in a bit of a pickle and I was wondering if I could ask your help.”

“Sure, anything!”, Zatanna said. “What’s the problem?”

She-Hulk gave a slightly embarrassed chuckle. “I’m at Expo and Sepulveda, I missed a connecting train.”, she said. “I’m worried I’ll be late to pick up Bruce like I promised I would.”

“Oh, no problem!”, Zatanna said. She hung up, grabbed her magic wand from her handbag, and waved it while saying, “adevlupeS/opxE ot su tropeleT”.

She-Hulk had been busy saying “Hello? Zanna?” before she got a bigger surprise and suddenly found herself face to face with Zatanna and Gisella right on the platform of the Expo/Sepulveda Metro rail station. “Hahaha, if it isn’t my favourite couple!”, she said with a joyous laugh.

Zatanna smiled and grabbed onto the tip of her hat. “I heard you were in a predicament, doll, I came as soon as I could.”, she said, jokingly affecting a smooth ladykiller voice.

She-Hulk laughed. “You never get tired of trying to make life be like one of them screwball comedies, Zanna.”, she said with playful admiration. “Don’t ever change.”

Zatanna jokingly took a bow, and then stood back up and returned her top hat to its rightful place on her head.

“What can we help you with, Shulkie?”, Gisella asked.

“I promised Bruce I’d pick him up today from his therapy, but I’m worried I’ll be late.”, She-Hulk replied. She jokingly made an Anjali mudra gesture. “So, if you two dears could help a good friend out with your teleport powers, I’d be so grateful.”

Zatanna laughed and waved her hand reassuringly. “Relax, Jen, we’d do anything for you!”, she said. “Where d’you need to be?”

“South Beverly and West Pico intersection.”, She-Hulk replied.

Zatanna nodded. “Yeah, you’d need to be Flash to get there on foot.”, she said.

Zatanna raised her hand with her magic wand again but Gisella made a smug grin and pre-empted her by snapping her fingers. Suddenly, all three were on the pedestrian spot at the intersection of South Beverly Drive and West Pico Boulevard. She-Hulk’s destination was right in front of them: a four-story block, somewhat hidden by the palm trees that dotted the sidewalk.

She-Hulk laughed. “Not bad, Gee! Your accuracy’s improved!”, she joked.

Gisella quietly stuck a proud pose with arms akimbo and flipped her head. Much to Zatanna’s relief, this time her peekaboo correctly covered her right eye, as nature and Jessica Rabbit and Miss Vavoom and Veronica Lake intended.

When the stoplight turned green, they crossed the street. “Look on the bright side, Jen.”, Zatanna joked. “If Bruce ever needs to also get his chiropractic, he’s got one right here!”

They both laughed. “You know a chiropractor here?”, She-Hulk asked.

“Not me, no,” Zatanna replied, “but a friend’s been to the Johnson Chiropractic centre here.”

“A human friend.”, Gisella joked.

“Yeah, that’s implied.”, She-Hulk said. “Someone without super healing powers.”

They got to the building and went in, and headed for the floor with the psychologist’s office. There was no one else around. They took the available chairs near the door and passed the time chatting some more.

“Wait, Jen, I’m curious about something.”, Zatanna said. “Where were you planning to take the Metro anyways?”

“Oh, either Cadillac or Vineyard.”, She-Hulk replied. “Whichever line I could get first at Culver City.” She shrugged. “Ideally Cadillac, I suppose, since that’s only one stop.”

Zatanna giggled with her hand to her mouth. “Neither’s exactly the best stop.”, she quipped. “You’d still have had a walk.”

“I blame the NLRB.”, She-Hulk joked. “They only have one headquarters in West Los Angeles, and it’s on Olympic Boulevard!” She made a comical gesture of disbelief. “At least I didn’t have to go all the way to Civic Centre! Even getting to stop in Grand Park wouldn’t be worth that hassle.”

Gisella pointed at She-Hulk. “How’d the case go, by the way?”, she asked.

She-Hulk chuckled. “Pfft, piece of cake!”, she said, with the appropriate hand gesture. “It was so open and shut, I could’ve just not even showed up and we still would’ve won!”

She-Hulk, Zatanna, and Gisella shared a laugh. “I’m glad you won it, Jen.”, Zatanna said. “Not that I had any doubt you would, of course.”

She-Hulk threw back her hair and allowed herself a moment to pose proudly. “Yeah, it was a cinch.”, she said, beaming. “I honestly kinda felt bad for the poor guy on the opposite side. In fact, after the hearing ended, I invited him for lunch, just so he’d know it was nothing personal, yeah?”

Zatanna understood immediately what She-Hulk was saying, and gave her a knowing smile. “Was he a cutie?”, he asked.

She-Hulk laughed. “Oh, hella! Totally!”, she said. “It was a nice lunch too, he’s nice. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’d be a date in our future.”

Zatanna smiled and thought, I knew this was coming. It couldn’t end any other way.

“Mainly, I’m glad we had an easier case this time.”, She-Hulk said, exhaling loudly. “I sure needed a break after that last one.” She smiled. “But, y’know, all that cheering when the final verdict came in, it was worth it. Seeing people so happy they’re crying at their victory.”

“And what a victory that was.”, Gisella said with a laugh. She wasn’t going to pretend she managed to wrap her head around the human concept of law, especially not economic law, but she felt comforted by the obvious fact that even humans struggled sometimes to wrap their head around it. “They, uh… took over their entire company, right?”

She-Hulk giggled and nodded. “Yep, they made it into a cooperative, on top of being unionised.”, she said. She looked briefly away, mostly down at her own lap. “I won’t lie, there were times in that case I was worried we bit off more than we could chew, that it should’ve been a larger practice handling that.”

Zatanna smiled and patted She-Hulk on the shoulder. She didn’t even need to say anything; when She-Hulk turned her face back towards her, Zatanna had a warm, understanding smile. She-Hulk felt happy, and her own smile became softer, more gratified.

The door to the psychologist’s office opened, and Bruce Banner walked out, but still facing the psychologist. “Thanks so much, doctor.”, Bruce said. “Same time next week. Yes. Certainly. Have a good day!”

Bruce waved and closed the door, then turned around and was happy to see the trio awaiting him. “Jen!”, Bruce said. “I see you brought guests!” He chuckled.

“You know it, Brucie!”, She-Hulk joked. “Come over here!”

She-Hulk stood up and the two cousins walked over and embraced. Gisella surreptitiously got up and joined in herself. Zatanna smiled and did likewise, thus forming a group hug.

When the group hug ended, She-Hulk gave Gisella a humorously sharp look, to which Gisella replied with a humorously innocent “who, me?” expression.

“So, how was therapy, cuz?”, She-Hulk asked as they all started walking towards the stairs, her arm rested on Bruce’s shoulder. Zatanna and Gisella held hands as they always did when walking together.

“I feel relieved, Jen. It’s great.”, Bruce said, smiling. “I feel like we got more done today. Those mental exercises they suggested I do are really paying off.”

She-Hulk looked happy. “My man!”, she said, patting Bruce on the shoulder. “You show that Temporal Displacement Syndrome who’s boss, Bruce! You know your cousin’s got your back.”

Bruce laughed and held She-Hulk’s hand. “Thanks, Jen.”, he said. “It means a lot.”

In between watching her steps on the stairs, Zatanna said, “Glad to hear you’ve been making progress, Bruce.” She held onto the handrail by the wall with one hand, and onto Gisella’s hand with the other. “It’s a tough one to deal with, but I know you had it really bad after the last gleaming.”

“You know it, Zatanna.”, Bruce said with a mild laugh, as they reached the ground floor and made their way out of the building, then set off following West Pico Boulevard. “It feels like you’re going insane. All these flashbacks from another life… are they even really flashbacks if you didn’t live it?”

“Dispatches from an alternate universe?”, She-Hulk suggested.

Bruce rubbed his forehead. “Hahaha, no thanks, Jen, I feel like if I ever try to ponder the concept again my brain is going to split. Bad enough remembering being Hulk and all that, god, glad that’s over.”

“Hey, look on the bright side, Bruce.”, Zatanna chimed in. “At least we’re blazing a new trail in psychology.”

Bruce chuckled. “That is true.”, he said. “We’re on the cutting edge of all the sciences. Physics, medicine, psychology, social sciences…” He gestured towards She-Hulk. “…law…”

“Labour law!”, She-Hulk jokingly protested. “I learned the hard way, if I just tell people I’m a lawyer, they’ll assume the wrong thing! I gotta be specific!” She laughed. “Labour law, laaaaaa-bouuuuuuuur!”, she repeated to herself, jokingly stretching out the word to make it very clear.

They were passing under a tree on the sidewalk next to the Residence Inn on 1177 South Beverly Drive when Gisella suddenly stopped and stood in place. “Wait a second.”, she said. “Why are we walking? Why don’t we just beam ourselves to a nice place to chill?”

Zatanna laughed, and thought that the time spent together teaching Gisella about human science fiction and pop culture was paying off. Her use of slang could use some work though, it was still a bit Mr. Spock in Star Trek IV. “You make a good point, darling.”, she said, quickly leaning in and giving her a peck on the cheek. She then looked at their guests and asked, “Jen, Bruce, anywhere you’d like to be?”

Bruce thought. “Uh, well, I was just gonna take the Metro and get back to Betty.”, he said. “I didn’t really think beyond that.”

She-Hulk snapped her fingers. “I got an idea.”, she said cheerfully. “We’re not far from Hillcrest, we could go to Cheviot Hills Park.”

Zatanna winked and said, “You got it.” She pulled the magic wand from her handbag, and said, “kraP slliH toivehC ot su tropeleT”.

Bruce blinked and took a moment to process the fact that all of a sudden, they were all standing on the grass of Cheviot Hills Recreation Centre, under a tree. Behind them was the side street that split off from Motor Avenue and went to the public restrooms, parking, and park maintenance building. Trees lined the street, stretching out into the distance. Ahead of them, he could see benches, and further in the distance, a soccer field… more trees… the eternal bane of Los Angeles, parking spaces too full of cars… beyond his field of view was the archery range, the tennis court, the public swimming pool. The possibilities were many.

“Heh. Showoff.”, Gisella joked. Zatanna replied by grinning and sticking her tongue out.

“Ah, are you sure that’s alright, Zatanna?”, Bruce asked. “I’d hate to think you wasted your mana points when we could’ve just walked.”

Zatanna smiled and patted Bruce on the shoulder. “Bruce. Bruce. Don’t worry.”, she said reassuringly. “It’s fine.” She giggled. “I haven’t used any big spells since last gleaming. As long as you stick with everyday stuff, magic’s basically renewable energy. Barely drain any during the day.”

Bruce smiled. “Yeah, it was pretty scary seeing you and Gisella that exhausted after last gleaming.”, he said. “I’m glad you’re both alright.” The group started walking through the park.

Gisella laughed. “Don’t worry, former green.”, she said. She was nothing if not the superpower community’s champion of affectionate nicknames. “It’s been ages ago. And you have to remember, we’re here.” She gestured towards the ground and swept her arms to indicate everything around her. “It never happened here. We’re in the safe world.”

“It never happened here, and yet it happened ages ago.”, Bruce said with a laugh. “The chronological confusion never disappears.”

“Nope.”, She-Hulk concurred with her cousin. “It gets easier eventually, thankfully.”

Bruce thought while they walked, and ended up bursting into laughter again. “At least now I can laugh about Kurt’s stupid comment.”, he joked.

Zatanna leaned in playfully and added, “’We stand at Armageddon’? Who did he think he is, Theodore Roosevelt?”

Zatanna, Gisella, She-Hulk, and Bruce laughed in response.

“It’s a good thing he’s off in München now,” Bruce joked, “because I still razz him about that often.” He chuckled. “He’s gonna live with that for the rest of his life.”

“Hey, not a bad way to live.”, She-Hulk quipped in reply. “At least he earned himself a good joke from you.”

Bruce pointed at himself. “What, me?”, he said, confused. “I didn’t say it.”

“You didn’t?”, Zatanna asked.

“Well… I don’t remember? Wasn’t I, y’know, the Hulk at the time? If I was, I don’t think I was capable of multisyllabic speech.”

She-Hulk, Zatanna, and Bruce stopped walking and thought about whether they were remembering things correctly. Gisella playfully shook Zatanna’s hand up and down, which made her feel amused.

“Maybe it was Cap who said it?”, She-Hulk suggested.

The others considered the option. “It’s possible.”, Zatanna said. “It was a good joke, and it definitely came from someone you wouldn’t expect to prove so quick-witted.”

“That rules out big green then.”, Gisella joked, using her free hand to point to She-Hulk. They laughed.

“Hey, maybe next time we have our class reunion we can ask around.”, She-Hulk joked. “Somebody has to know who made that joke after Kurt.”

“Or, y’know, take credit for it.”, Gisella replied.

They sat down on the benches and continued to chat for a while, enjoying the day out in the park.

Chapter Text

“Okay, darling, try to vanish and reassemble that sculpture now.”

Zatanna and Gisella were on the patio of their home, sitting on a couch overlooking a table. Three other comfy chairs were around them – perfect for guests, but none were present right now. Behind them were other homes nestled on the brown and green environs of the Hollywood Hills, and in front of them, beyond the boundaries of their home, was a steep uphill climb leading to Franklin Avenue.

Zatanna held a pen and notebook in her hand, letting them rest in her lap, as she said that. Gisella smiled and nodded. “Okay.”, she said.

Gisella focused on the sculpture on the table in front of them – a reproduction of a Jeff Koons, the perfect object for experimenting because it looked so shitty nobody’d care if it was broken. She snapped her fingers and made it disappear. After a few seconds, she repeated the process and it reappeared again.

Zatanna took notes. “Did you feel anything in particular as you did that?”, she asked.

“Uh… nope. Not really.”, Gisella said with a laugh.

“No use of energy?”, Zatanna continued, looking at her notebook.

Gisella’s gaze shifted skyward as she thought. “No, I didn’t feel like I used any.”, she said.

“Do you normally have to snap your fingers in order to rearrange reality?”, Zatanna asked.

Gisella looked at Zatanna with a smile. “I don’t know if it’s mandatory, per se…”, she joked. “I guess I do it for the same reason you wave a wand and talk backwards.”

Zatanna smiled and kissed her wife. Gisella embraced her wife and kicked it up a notch to French kissing.

Zatanna had always had the notion that magic was a mighty force it was ill-advised to trifle with. What kind of Mistress of Magic would she be if she didn’t know that? But ever since the last gleaming, now safe on this Earth, she had become interested in using the scientific method to quantify her actual power levels and skills, to know more about how she used magic and what effects it had. The work of the Superpower Research Laboratory was certainly inspiring, and who said they needed to teleport to Centreville, when they could also advance their knowledge in their own time, doing experiments at home?

When they were sharing anecdotes about this over a lunch with She-Hulk and Patsy Walker, Patsy laughed and called them the Wizards of Hollywood Hills. Zatanna laughed, but she’d never forgotten the name. She liked the designation.

Zatanna now had a pretty good idea of her own magic skills and use. It was a great relief when she managed to compute that low-level magic didn’t use up that much of her powers. The fact was, magic was a marvellous time-saving and labour-saving device. She was freed from the tyranny of domestic labour entirely! All she had to do was speak a spell backwards and presto – her beauty routine was done, her clothes were clean, her makeup was perfect, her house was clean to every last centimetre, food and drink were never in short supply, she could get anywhere in an instant on time through teleportation…

It was hard for her sometimes to convey to people just how magic could grant instant efficiency like that. A lot of people could grapple with the idea, and even with their minds blown it was hard to grasp the enormity of it. A life freed from domestic labour, cleaning, washing the dishes, cooking, traveling at the speed of human movement… it changed fucking everything. All time became free time. 24 hours in a day suddenly stretched out so much more and so much more comfortably.

On a wall in a room on the second floor, Zatanna had hung two portraits she was mischievously fond of: Pop Art-styled portraits of Karl Marx and Antonio Gramsci, as if they had been painted by René Gruau or Earl Oliver Hurst. Ah, if only the comrades had learned of the existence of magic in their lifetimes… it would’ve been a godsend. At least they did the tough, thankless work of laying down foundations for a better world to come long after their deaths.

For all of Zatanna’s mastery of magic, it was the powers of her wife Gisella that truly astonished her. Sometimes, when Gisella repeated that she was a 5^th dimensional imp, Zatanna playfully went along with it and teased her. But Gisella seemed to be capable of manipulating reality at whim, and what tended to flabbergast Zatanna was just how indifferent she seemed about it. Gisella had no idea how her powers worked, no idea what energy source used, no idea what their limitations were… and no interest in finding out. For her, the powers were simply something she was born with and that was that.

Zatanna appreciated the fact that Gisella at least went along with her DIY study attempts. It meant a lot to be supported by her wife, and Gisella genuinely made the effort to pay attention to how she felt and what physical effects resulted when she used her reality-warping powers. So far, despite her best efforts, she still came up empty-handed. Zatanna’s notebooks were full of meticulous notes about her own magic powers and exactly how much energy they used up and how much she recovered per day, but the observations of Gisella’s powers were littered with “I dunno”s and “No idea”s. Maybe, in the end, this was a good thing. The world was better off for Gisella being lazy and unmotivated and not bothering to use her powers for more than magically solving domestic duties in an instant. All the troubles in the world have always been caused by ambitious go-getter assholes who decide to be cunts to everyone.

At least there were advantages to both having the power to bend reality to their will. Every day, Zatanna and Gisella set new records in how many mind-blowing orgasms they gave each other, and had thoroughly explored the human body’s capacity for pleasure. Maybe it’s why they were so comforting and lovely to be around – they spent their waking hours more or less in a permanent state of post-coital bliss.

Chapter Text

Zatanna and Gisella were sat on chairs next to each other in the East Room of the White House. They held hands, and alternated between looking lovingly at each other and scanning the surroundings. The room was mostly full of journalists and a few special guests – themselves included in the latter.

14 people were seated on chairs near the wall of the room, with three US flags displayed behind them. White House photographers took their places in preparation. Zatanna smiled as she saw one of the people they were at the ceremony for: Jean Grey-Summers, who took a moment to wave at her husband, Scott Grey-Summers, in the audience. She was nearing the age of 60, but her green eyes still looked beautiful, and her hair was dyed the same passionate shade of red she had always had. She was wearing a beautiful green skirt suit with a white shirt, which made her look very elegant…not to mention, incredibly beautiful for her husband, who had eyes on her alone.

At 15:00 sharp, President Bernie Sanders walked into the room and stood behind the podium. He wore his customary white shirt with a blue jacket, and no neckwear. He waited for the applause to die down, and motioned for it at one point with his hand.

“Thank you.”, he said. He put both of his hands around the podium and continued: “Thank you. Good afternoon, and welcome to the White House. I want to acknowledge some of the important people we have in attendance today. My wife Jane. My children.” He briefly turned away and gave them an approving nod, before returning to his speech. “Vice President Clinton. The Second Gentleman. Cabinet members. We are here today to honour the recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom.”

Zatanna thought, Good ol’ Bernie, always getting right to it.

“The Presidential Medal of Freedom is the highest civil honour our nation can bestow. The greatest cause we can honour with such an award is the cause of justice. The history of our nation is the history of people who have fought for justice, who have served others, and who have dedicated great efforts to making life better. They have fought for a better today and a better tomorrow.”

Applause started among the audience, and Bernie waited for it to end, raising his hand in acknowledgement. Then he began individually listing each award recipient and the reasons for the award.

Zatanna did her best to pay attention, but Gisella’s eyes wandered between the podium and studying the crowd, observing how they acted. Thankfully, Jean was relatively early in the ceremony in alphabetical order.

“Jean Grey-Summers.”, Bernie said, enunciating her name slowly and clearly. “One of the first graduates of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning. She discovered that she possessed superpowers, and she dedicated herself to using them in service of the people. For decades, she has been the Internal Revenue Service’s best worker, using her telepathic powers to prosecute tax evasion and make sure the rich are not gaming the system for their benefit.”

Zatanna clapped very enthusiastically, and Gisella joined in.

Bernie continued after the applause died down. “An exemplary record of service matched by that of her husband, Scott Grey-Summers, also a Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient.” He paused briefly to point in his direction with his outstretched hand. “Jean Grey-Summers represents the best traditions of public service. She has put not just her superpowers in the service of the nation, but her brilliant mind as well. She has helped bring to fruition valuable initiatives that have simplified the tax system and made it fairer and more transparent for ordinary Americans.”

After a pause for applause, he continued: “Every American who pays their taxes quickly and simply online owes her a great debt. Every American who uses our world-class public services and infrastructure is grateful for her tireless service and commitment to fairness. Her career is a shining exemplar of the words of the great justice Oliver Wendell Holmes: ‘Taxes are the price we pay for a civilised society’.”

Bernie took a moment to look at Jean and nod solemnly. Jean reciprocated. Bernie then turned back to face the audience and continued his speech. “Jennifer Hale. One of our most talented and critically acclaimed voice actresses. Also, a great fighter for workers’ rights, who as part of SAG–AFTRA played a key role in the voice actors’ strike…”

Zatanna listened with rapt attention. It would be so awesome if Bernie mentioned that she also voiced me in cartoons and games, she thought. It was unlikely, but it would’ve been marvellous indeed. She did such a great job, she sounded exactly like me! She rested her head against Gisella’s, making sure Gisella didn’t look too obviously like her attention was drifting.

Jennifer Hale’s expression couldn’t help but become somewhat amused as she started to notice Bernie was spending most of his speech discussing her work as a union organiser rather than… everything else. She couldn’t say she was surprised, at least.

Gisella maintained her relaxed smile but her eyes continued drifting around the room. She wasn’t really paying attention to Bernie’s speech – she definitely heard a “Jonathan Kozol” and some stuff about “education”. At least the 5^th dimension taught her how to pay attention to several things at once. (At least, that’s what she told Zatanna, usually eliciting an amused raised eyebrow from her.)

At one point, Bernie stated: “And now, I’m going to ask the military aide to call each of the winners forward and read their citations.”

When it came to be her turn, Jean stood up and walked over to the podium. She stood with her hands clasped behind her back, feeling that it looked somewhat classier than in front of her. She listened to her citation being read out, and then stepped forward so the President could tie the medal around her neck. Afterwards, she stood and looked at the audience as they and Bernie applauded her, and then went back to her seat.

At the end of the ceremony, Bernie spoke from the podium one last time. “That concludes the ceremony.”, he said. “Now, the reception in honour of the Presidential Medal of Freedom recipients. I hope you will enjoy it. Thank you all very much.”

Zatanna and Gisella followed everyone into the back room. They weaved their way among the crowd and reached Jean and Scott. “Jean! Scott!”, Zatanna exclaimed, waving to them as she approached.

Jean and Scott both looked happy to see her, and the four got into a group hug. “Zee and Gee, glad you made it!”, Jean said. “It’s good to see you again.”

Pulling back from the hug, they stood facing each other, Scott by Jean’s side, and Gisella holding Zatanna's hand.

“Good to see you too, Jean, Scott.”, Zatanna said. “’bout time you got the Medal of Freedom, Jean. I swear it’s like working with the FSA and SRL are a fast-track to receiving it.”

Jean laughed, and mildly scratched her head. “Yeah, it sure feels like it!”, she said. “I got the slow track though. Scott and Kitty got theirs before I did.”

Scott shrugged and put his hand around Jean’s shoulders. “Yeah, that was real unfair, honey.”, he said, reassuring his wife. “I gave ‘em an earful about it, but what can I say… decommissioning hazardous waste and rescuing people from accidents gets more play in the media than taxation.”

Jean smiled and reached out to caress Scott’s cheek with her hand. “Which is, like, so unfair!”, she quipped, momentarily imitating Kitty’s Valleyspeak. “Taxes are what keep this country running, just like any country!” She playfully rolled her eyes in Zatanna and Gisella’s direction and extended her other hand. “Do you have any idea how much effort it takes to make tax-paying fun?”, she asked rhetorically. “Not to mention sitting there in DC trying to keep a lid on the USA and plug any leaks from rich assholes and corporations trying to evade taxes?”

Zatanna pointed her and joked, “Now that’s your real superpower, Jean.” It made them all laugh. “It’s great that Professor X taught you so well.”

“Yeah, it’s been a godsend!”, Jean replied. “If he didn’t teach me how to control my telepathy, my life would’ve been hel! I would’ve just constantly been reading everyone’s thoughts ‘til my brain broke.” She gave Gisella a playful look. “I do wish you’d learn to do your taxes better, Gee, I can’t hand-hold you through it every year.”

Gisella chuckled. “Face it though, Jeanie, if I actually filled my forms in right, you’d kind of miss me.”, she said. It was a joke that earned an affectionate smile from Jean.

“I’m just surprised that a nigh-omnipotent being like you struggles still with things like that, when I’d thought you already knew everything.”, Jean said.

Gisella laughed and patted Jean on the shoulder. “Good one, Red ‘n’ Green.”, she quipped. The mention of Jean’s hair colour and her suit’s colour garnered a naughty smile from Scott, and his adoring gaze remained fixed on his wife as Gisella continued: “We didn’t have any o’ that in the 5^th dimension. We didn’t have, like, anything! Taxes, cartoons, music… a clue about anything, really. It was just us manipulatin’ reality all the time to handle our basic needs.”

“Darling, you make it sound like a womb or something.”, Zatanna joked. It wasn’t the first time she made that observation, but whenever her wife talked about her previous life in the 5^th dimension, it was the first metaphor that always came to mind.

The conversation continued merrily.

Jean expressed a humorous desire that crushing TurboTax in order to create a centralised IRS online tax filing system could’ve been as easy as sending Beast to smash their heads in and Jubilee to wreck their offices. After all, that was the only way any progress ever got done in the USA: terrorising the rich and powerful. Scott jokingly expressed pride in his wife being a committed champagne socialist. His tone became more contemplative as he agreed that superpowered people were a tragically limited tool. When all you have is a hammer, some things just can’t be nails.

Zatanna asked Jean and Scott how the old campus in Westchester County was. Jean laughed and replied she hadn’t been there since graduation. Scott reminded Zatanna that the Xavier Institute was more upstate, in St. Johnsville, and that was in fact one of their biggest gripes when they were the first graduating class, that they were stuck upstate halfway between Utica and Schenectady – so far from NYC, so close to Albany.

Zatanna looked confused and could’ve sworn their campus was in North Salem, to which Jean and Scott laughed and speculated that was probably a prior life’s memory. Scott added he wouldn’t have liked North Salem that much either, it was too close to Connecticut.

Gisella leaned in and whispered in her wife’s ear the question of what beef does Scott have with Connecticut anyways. Zatanna had no idea, but she was proud to see her wife correctly employ slang. Given enough time she would get over the Mr. Spock, the hel, hurdle.

Zatanna quietly decided to not try to ask where Jean and Scott lived now, because she couldn’t remember, but the risk of remembering the “wrong” timeline was too high.

Jean and Scott promised to catch Zatanna’s next show when a new tour reached the East Coast.

At one point as it was starting to peter out, Zatanna said, “By the way, Jean, Scott, you have anything planned today? Jen wanted to throw a bash for you guys back home in Los Angeles.”

“That sounds great!”, Jean said enthusiastically. “Thankfully the agenda’s empty for the rest of the day.”

“It’s a shame She-Hulk couldn’t make it today.”, Scott said.

Zatanna nodded, and replied: “Yeah, it can’t be helped. Court meeting. Soon as she gets out, she wanted to have a party for you guys. Pats and Hedy’re coming, too.”

Gisella moved her arm around Zatanna’s shoulder and went into that attractively arrogant wife that amused her wife so much. “Hey, I said I could help Big Green out, but she declined, so that’s on her, dollcakes.”, she said. “Didn’t like the last time I tried to duplicate her the way I could duplicate me and Zee over here.” She punctuated the last sentence with a kiss on Zatanna’s cheek, which made her smile and close her left eye since that was the cheek Gisella was kissing.

Jean and Scott looked at each other and smiled awkwardly. “Yes… your track record with that leaves… something to be desired.”, Jean replied tactfully.

Gisella shrugged. “Not my fault I know me and my wife best.”, she said, pulling Zatanna into an even closer embrace. “You guys knew each other far longer’n I knew ya. You were like childhood friends and stuff.”

Jean and Scott looked at each other lovingly and embraced. It didn’t occur to them that Gisella was speaking more broadly about the superpowered community, but that’s the generic you for ya.

“So, we’ll meet up on the lawn when you’ve had enough, and then we’ll beam right to Los Angeles.”, Zatanna said.

“That’s a plan!”, Jean replied, and shook hands with Zatanna. “See you two in a bit, I’m sure you have some people you want to mingle with as well.”

“Likewise.”, Zatanna said. They both wandered off from each other and roamed the audience again.

After a brief search, Zatanna bumped into exactly the person she was looking for, and had an excited meeting with Jennifer Hale.

“I just wanted to thank you for the magnificent job you did voicing me in those cartoons and games.”, Zatanna said enthusiastically as she shook Jennifer Hale’s hand. “You sounded exactly like me! That still blows my mind.”

“Thank you, thank you, you’re too kind.”, Jennifer Hale replied modestly. “I’m happy I did right by you in that role. It was the role of a lifetime.”

Zatanna laughed. “No way, Jennifer Hale, that was Sam and Mandy in Totally Spies! That is your roles of a lifetime!”

They both laughed and exchanged a few more pleasantries. Jennifer Hale joked that she was happy someone had at least mentioned Sam and Mandy since the President had spent something like his entire speech only talking about her work as a union organiser. It was kind of embarrassing because she thought he gave her more credit than she deserved, since her primary work was voice acting, not trade union…ing. She wasn’t even president of SAG-AFTRA for crying out loud. Zatanna joked that soon enough they might see Fran Drescher get the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and Jennifer Hale quipped in response that he might prefer to award it to someone from Membership First.

After they parted, Zatanna and Gisella wandered the room a bit more, and Zatanna noticed her wife yawning. “Had enough?”, she joked.

Gisella scanned the room one last time. “Yeah, I suppose.”, she replied. “Being surrounded by strangers is kinda tough, don’t you think?”

Zatanna thought for a second and nodded. “It is different from being up on stage with an audience.”, she said.

Zatanna and Gisella started making their way out of the room, when they were interrupted. “Ms. Zatara.”, a voice called out.

Zatanna turned around and saw Bernie Sanders pointing at her in his inimitable way. She smiled and tipped her hat. “Mr. President.”, she replied.

“Ms. Zatara. Ms. Zatara.”, Bernie said nodding at both Zatanna and Gisella in turn. “I wanted to thank you both for your support and your campaigning in 2020.” He smiled. “Your duplicating yourselves to campaign in all states at once, it never gets old.”

Zatanna, Gisella and Bernie shared a laugh.

“It’s an honour, sir.”, Zatanna replied. “We were glad to do what we could, and we’re glad you got re-elected.”

“Thank you.”, Bernie said. “You’ll be returning to Los Angeles?”

“Yes, sir, Mr. President.”, Zatanna said, nodding her head.

“Please tell Ms. Walters how grateful I am for her work as President of the USWA.”

Zatanna smiled and giggled quietly. “Same as always, Mr. President. Certainly.”, she said.

They both waved as Zatanna and Gisella left the room. They met up with Jean and Scott on the lawn of the White House.

It was Zatanna’s turn to take the magic wand out of her handbag, wave it, and say, “selegnA soL ni eciffo s'neJ ot su tropeleT”.

Chapter Text

Zatanna and Gisella were in the kitchen. It wasn’t even a separate room of their house, it was just a part of their living room, separated by the counter, and hosting an oven, a fridge, a coffee machine, and several cupboards, just like any other kitchen.

The thing that set it apart, besides not being a separate room with a door and a wall and all that, was the fact that it was Zatanna and Gisella’s kitchen, which made it the site of exciting and amusing experiments in the culinary arts. Zatanna’s excited curiosity and application of the scientific method didn’t stop at just her magic and her wife’s powers. Given the instant efficiency they conferred, figuring out how to apply their powers to everyday situations became one of the great sources of fun in their life together.

Zatanna and Gisella were currently cooking various oddball combinations of Italian cuisine that would probably cause an Italian to either cross themselves or mutter “porca puttana”. Zatanna tossed the eggplant slices in the pan almost to the ceiling, making her wife laugh.

“Darling, pass me the tomato sauce.”, Zatanna asked.

“With pleasure.”, Gisella replied with a sly smile. She snapped her fingers and suddenly the tomato sauce bottle manifested in Zatanna’s hand.

Zatanna smiled and pointed at Gisella, and then proceeded to soak the eggplant slices in tomato sauce. After tossing them high from the pan again, she grabbed one with her mouth, slightly causing a mess on her face. She chewed it thoughtfully and swallowed.

“The tomato sauce needs a bit more spice.”, she said. She used a free hand to grab her wand from the counter, waved it, and said, “ecuas otamot eht ot ecips erom tib a ddA”.

When Zatanna prepared to test on the next sauté, Gisella cut in and ate the eggplant slice. Zatanna looked at her with amusement and remembered all the times they’d sat home relaxing together and watched cartoons. Gisella especially enjoyed The Miss Vavoom Show.

“How is it?”, Zatanna asked.

Gisella swallowed. “Perfect.”, she said in a seductive purr. She then kissed Zatanna on the cheek and licked the ingredient stains off her face.

Zatanna gleefully reciprocated and gave her wife a loving look before returning her attention to the cooking. She used her wand again to manifest squacquerone cheese in the pan, sautéing the eggplant slices together.

Gisella looked on in amusement. She never knew making parmigiana di melanzane could be this complicated. Then again, she never even knew what it was called. Her wife had told her, but she forgot.

“Alright, that’s that part sorted.”, Zatanna announced as she emptied the parmigiana into a plate. “I’m feeling adventurous, honey. Do you want any more condiments you want to add before we bake?”

Gisella thought for a second, and replied: “Soy sauce.”

Zatanna simply looked on in amusement as Gisella snapped her fingers and suddenly the parmigiana had soy sauce added to them.

“Let’s bake it, then!”, Zatanna said.

Gisella giggled and replied, “Okay!”

Gisella snapped her fingers, and suddenly the parmigiana was baked.

Too baked, in fact.

So baked it could be mistaken for a bad cannabis harvest.

Zatanna covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. “I think that’s overbaked.”, she joked.

Gisella peeked into the plate and said, “Yeah. No prob though!”. She then snapped her fingers and undid the baking, then took a moment to think and calibrate her aim, and snapped her fingers again. Now the parmigiana looked perfectly baked.

It was one of the great advantages of a marriage between the Mistress of Magic and a reality-warper. Their life had an actual undo/redo button. They could Ctrl-Z and Ctrl-Y their way through life gleefully, and they did. All the time.

Zatanna got into quite a frisky mood herself, and used her magic wand to manifest pisarei e faśö into the plate, necessitating quite a longer spell since she had to specify to the magic to reduce the quantity of bean and amplify the quantity of onion instead.

After that was done, Zatanna asked her wife for help. Gisella duly obliged, manifesting a big slice of piadina. Zatanna and Gisella then dumped the parmigiana and pisarei into the piadina, rolling it around slightly to distribute it evenly. Zatanna impulsively cast a spell to add a touch of olive oil to the concoction, like any self-respecting Italian who somehow made a hobby of experimenting with culinary heresy.

The meal was then finished and Zatanna and Gisella regarded it proudly on the plate. The most complicated and ridiculously Italian way to create a vegetable-heavy wrap.

Gisella snapped her fingers, and now Zatanna and Gisella were both clean, their suits neatly pressed, and smelled like flowers. Zatanna grinned and pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss.

They then got their ridiculous wrap and sat in front of the television to eat, each one biting from the opposite end.

And when they finished eating, they started kissing each other passionately again.

Gisella snapped her fingers and all the crumbs and leftovers vanished, as did any stains they might’ve gotten on their clothes while eating, as Zatanna pushed her down on the couch and started rubbing her between her legs while they kissed.

Chapter Text

It was a hot day in Réthymnon, as was par for the course in Crete. Zatanna felt quietly grateful that the event took place indoors. Even with good air conditioning, she had still felt rather hot – and sadly, not in the way that made her and Gisella felt good. She’d had to surreptitiously wave her magic wand and magically clean up her tuxedo or cool herself down.

Eventually, she just resorted to borrowing a hand fan and fanning herself, which just made her look even more like some elegant refugee from a bygone era. Which was exactly what she loved.

She was trying at the moment to not draw attention, to simply relax in her seat and listen to Wonder Woman’s speech. Just the sight of Wonder Woman, wearing a skirt suit and a sash with the Greek colours, standing at a podium and delivering a speech, was all so surreal. On some level, it still felt like only yesterday that Wonder Woman had fought by their side at the last gleaming. And now it was a whole new world, where Wonder Woman’s name was different, and she was serving her second and last term as President of Greece.

“The complete decipherment of Linear A and B is one of the great achievements in the history of international cooperation.”, Wonder Woman spoke from the podium. Her voice was calm and leaderlike, her tone encouraging. “Not just cooperation between countries such as Greece and the United States of America, but cooperation between our superpower research and administration agencies.”

Zatanna responded with an amused smile. She knew where this was going.

“It is the cooperation between people and people with superpowers that helps advance our knowledge and make the world a better place.”, Wonder Woman continued. “Without the valuable contributions of superpowered individuals like Zatanna Zatara–“

Spontaneous applause started. Zatanna looked at the crowd with a smile and raised her top hat, like the expert entertainer she was. She might’ve taken a bow but she wasn’t going to hog the spotlight.

“–and Gisella Zatara, and others, our combined knowledge and abilities would be so much poorer. But with their help, we can not only decipher what had been gaps in our knowledge, like Linear A or the Phaistos Disk. We can create a better society for all. Such a cooperation would not be possible without the vital contribution of education, of teachers and esteemed institutions such as our very own University of Crete.”

Zatanna chuckled quietly. Even an ageless immortal super like Wonder Woman was not immune to a good old “San Dimas High School football rules!”.

Wonder Woman continued to rhapsodise further on the themes of human–superpowered collaboration, the importance of education, and learning from history to avoid repeating past mistakes.

When she finished, the entire crowd applauded. Zatanna applauded the most enthusiastically… and she may or may not have surreptitiously cast a spell that made her applause stand out.

Once the event finished, Zatanna waited for Wonder Woman to finish with the whole presidential thing and approached her in a free moment.

“That was a great speech, D.”, Zatanna said sincerely. She’d taken to calling her “D” because in the old Earth, she knew her name as “Diana”, but on this Earth, her name was “Dione”, so it helped avoid mix-ups.

“Thank you, Zatanna.”, Wonder Woman replied with a friendly smile. “I mean it, too. Your and your wife’s contribution to the decipherment of Linear A is inestimable.”

Zatanna smiled impishly. “Thanks a lot, I’ll be sure to let Gisella know.”, she said, this close to nudging Wonder Woman in the shoulder and winking. Gisella’s own contribution to it was quite reduced, and it was mostly Zatanna’s magical powers that had done more for deciphering undeciphered writing systems. But it was nice of Wonder Woman to be generous and give them equal credit.

“It is a shame she could not make it.”, Wonder Woman added. “You two are such a wonderful couple. I always enjoy your company.”

Zatanna pulled Wonder Woman into a hug. “Aww, you’re lovely, D.”, she said, giving Wonder Woman a mild back rub. “We love your company too, but I know you’re busy.”

Zatanna and Wonder Woman ended their hug, and Wonder Woman laughed. “You do not know the half of it, sister.”, she said.

Zatanna chuckled. Seeing Wonder Woman try to navigate human slang was almost as funny as seeing Gisella try it.

“And here I thought you invited me to give me a medal or something.”, Zatanna quipped.

Wonder Woman laughed.

“It would have to be the next President.”, she replied. “We are colleagues. We were in the Justice League, too. It would not look right. I cannot bring the office into disrepute.”

Zatanna nodded. “I understand, D.”, she said. “Cap used to say the same when he was in office.” She understood the point – having superpowers made it imperative to avoid anything that looked like a super-circle-jerk above ordinary humans’ heads.

Wonder Woman took a moment to talk in Greek with her assistants, and then started leaving the University of Crete campus, with Zatanna following along to continue their conversation.

“I have to admit, D…”, Zatanna said with a chuckle, adjusting her hat. “…I still sometimes wonder how you ended up going for President instead of Prime Minister.”

Wonder Woman giggled. “I am better suited for that role, Zatanna.”, she said.

“You sure you’re not underrating yourself?”, Zatanna teased. “Like, come on, daughter of the Amazons, you’re basically a demigod! You could make Greece a superpower!”

Wonder Woman gave a slightly embarrassed laugh. “Zatanna, I can’t do that alone.”, she said earnestly. “There is leadership and there is leadership… heading a government is not something any kind of superpowers ever prepare you for. Head of state suits me better.”

Zatanna smiled. “You really are the daughter of a queen, D.”, she said admiringly.

Zatanna and Wonder Woman walked on down the corridor, past a map hung on the wall that showed the modern Greek borders.

“That is true.”, Wonder Woman added. “It is even my name. Dione ho Hippolytēs.”

Zatanna looked blankly for a second and then chuckled. “You’re getting the hang of this ‘humour’ thing, D.”, she joked.

Wonder Woman looked at Zatanna with an impish smile. “Zatanna, I must remind you Greece invented comedy.”, she teased. “We were not ignorant on Themiskyra, you know. We did have what you would call ‘normal’ things.”

“Oh, man, I would’ve loved to be there to hear Queen Hippolyta doing stand-up!”, Zatanna quipped, bursting into laughter before she even finished. Wonder Woman joined in.

After they were through laughing, Wonder Woman gave Zatanna a wry smile. “I would ask where you sometimes come up with all this ‘World of Man’ business,” she said playfully, “but then I realise I already know. Past life memories, just like all of us.”

Zatanna nodded.

Zatanna followed Wonder Woman and her assistants out of the University of Crete’s campus entirely. Wonder Woman occasionally paused to wave, shake hands with, and exchange a word or two with passers-by, some of whom were still amazed to see the superpowered President of Greece walking among them casually. They walked into a seemingly empty field.

Zatanna raised her eyebrow playfully. “Still using the invisible jet, D?”, she quipped.

“Yes.”, Wonder Woman said, holding her arms akimbo and smiling proudly. “It is most convenient. I transport myself, and so I save the state money.”

“Good point.”, Zatanna replied with a chuckle. “And with your super-strength, you save on bodyguards too.”

Wonder Woman nodded. She started walking towards the invisible jet, but then paused and turned around. “Oh, Zatanna, could I ask you a favour?”, she asked.

Zatanna grinned and saluted. “At your service, President D.”, she said.

Wonder Woman smiled. “Could you help my colleagues with your teleport powers?”, she said.

“You got it!”, Zatanna replied eagerly.

Wonder Woman felt satisfied, and went into the invisible jet, taking off and heading back to mainland Greece.

Zatanna helped Wonder Woman’s assistants get back home, although she needed to cast a few additional spells herself to make sure she pronounced their addresses correctly backwards. Greek wasn’t exactly a language she knew that well, but fluency was just a wave of the magic wand away.

At the end, she smiled, waved her magic wand again and said, “selegnA soL ot emoh kcab em tropeleT”.

Chapter Text

Zatanna and Gisella were lying in bed, cuddling together naked. Their eyes were closed and they were smiling as they rubbed their faces against each other and felt their bodies together, and the warm California sun shining through the window onto their skin.

“Oh, I almost forgot.”, Zatanna said playfully, rubbing her cheek against her wife’s.

“Yeah, honey?”, Gisella asked, drawing out the words seductively.

“What time is it?”, Zatanna asked.

Gisella glanced at the clock on the wall. “One minute to 6, darling.”, she said.

“Oh, we should probably get ready for the Forum.”, Zatanna said.

Gisella playfully placed herself on top of Zatanna, preventing her from moving, and put her finger on Zatanna’s lips. “Shhh, honey, leave it all to me.”, Gisella said, giving her a seductive wink.

Zatanna raised an eyebrow playfully.

When Gisella saw the clock display exactly 18:00, she snapped her fingers. Zatanna and Gisella vanished from their room.

Zatanna and Gisella appeared directly at the Forum, dressed in their typical outfits, make-up applied perfectly, and fresh and clean and smelling like roses.

Zatanna chuckled as she took a second to acclimate to the surroundings. “Well well well, if it isn’t the fabulous Forum.”, she said, adjusting her hat.

“You’re welcome, honeydew.”, Gisella said with a proud expression.

Touched, Zatanna kissed Gisella on the cheek, while Gisella’s face reached dangerously high levels of smug serenity. Part of Gisella wished Zatanna would go on and insist, just so Gisella’s face could be stuck that way for eternity.

One of the stagehands walked by and excused himself. “Oh, Miss Zatanna, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you come in.”, he said.

Zatanna smiled and put her hand around Gisella. “Don’t worry, doll, I didn’t want to interrupt you all.”, she quipped.

“Be ready to go on in 5.”, he replied, holding up 5 fingers.

Zatanna held up an OK sign and said “You got it!” in the sweetest and most bouncy chirp she could muster.

It was a packed house at the fabulous Forum, and the Lakers weren’t even playing. The stage had a colourful circus-like backdrop of curtains and a large sign reading “ZATANNA” at the top, somewhat like Elvis’ comeback special.

After the announcer hyped the crowd up, a flash of smoke appeared on stage, and it dissipated to reveal Zatanna and her lovely assistant, her wife. They were greeted with applause.

For the next 2 hours, Zatanna had the crowd eating out of her hand, delivering quips and banter she’d said millions of times before like it was the first time, infusing the hoariest stage magic routines with fresh breath and a sense of discovery, and generally owning the stage like it was her birthright, as an entertainer with a lifetime of experience (and incredibly powerful magic) behind her.

At one point, Zatanna’s attention fell on a particular person in the audience. She smiled sweetly as she pointed her wand and said, “And I am honoured to announce tonight’s special guest – Carolina Miranda, from the Los Angeles Times! I love reading your articles.”

Even with all her razzle-dazzle and expertise in working a crowd, Zatanna never felt like she was somehow above the most obvious gestures, because those resonated best with most people. The show was going perfectly, like a well-oiled machine doing its job. She didn’t technically have to flatter the journalists in attendance, but she still did it.

Zatanna had long ago transcended reading reviews of her stage show, and couldn’t even remember the last time she’d suffered from stage fright. Between her magic and Gisella’s reality-warping, they could make anything perfect, just like that. They technically didn’t even need to do stage shows at all. But Zatanna still did them now and then for several reasons.

For fun.

For helping below-the-line workers get a nice payday.

For the joy of being on stage and holding a crowd in the palm of your hand.

But most of all, for the pure thrill of making people happy.

Zatanna hadn’t received a bad review of any of her magic shows since she’d hit her stride. And the common thing among the reviews she didn’t read was the observation that, on stage, she radiated sincerity. She came across like she wanted nothing more than to entertain people, to make them laugh, to make them smile, and to make their lives a bit brighter.

There was no irony or sarcasm, and only the mildest touches of playful self-referential humour in Zatanna’s show. She was a proudly old-fashioned stage magician, always paying homage to the classics and those who paved the way before her. Any decent stage magician could do the same tricks, but it was Zatanna’s sincerity that made those tricks feel like the first time.

Being the Mistress of Magic was a big responsibility. Zatanna’d sure endured enough lifetimes’ worth of battles, challenges, and so forth. But that was all in the past. Before the last gleaming. Before this Earth.

Now, she contented herself with everyday magic.

Going up on stage, an attractive dame in a tuxedo, top hat, and fishnets, with an equally attractive dame of a wife as her lovely assistant, using every single cliché in the book, and making audiences feel good. No, more than that, by the gods – making them feel.

Zatanna and Gisella stayed after the show ended to sign autographs, take photos, and so on. Zatanna’s enthusiasm never wavered. Gisella happily stayed in a supporting role.

Zatanna forewent her payment for the show and instead divided it equally to everyone who had worked on the show.

She was preparing to cast a spell for that when Gisella smirked and simply snapped her fingers.

Zatanna shot her wife a playful glance, waved her magic wand, and said “emoh su tropeleT”.

The stagehands and crew were baffled that nobody could find Zatanna and Gisella anywhere afterwards. It was like they vanished, just like that.

Chapter Text

Zatanna and Gisella were relaxing on two sunloungers, beneath thick umbrellas, on the beach at Needles, California. The weather was hot, but they’d had a great swim earlier, and a fun game of improvised volleyball in the water. They were completely naked, and completely shaded by the umbrellas. And if they ever needed to cool down, they had Zatanna’s magic and Gisella’s reality-manipulation.

Needles was an interesting old town. It was right in the Mojave Desert, so it regularly felt like the locals were getting blasted right in the face with a hose full of heat. However, it was also a major port on Arizona Bay. Ahead of Zatanna and Gisella on the beach stretched a beautiful body of water, as far as the eye could see, seagulls could be heard overhead, and people went around either swimming or boating or kayaking or other water sports. Despite the desert conditions of Needles, there was green grass near the water, and the houses by the coast looked pretty and old, somewhat like Venice back in Los Angeles.

Zatanna playfully opened an eye and watched as Gisella looked like she was about to drift off to a nap. She grinned, enjoying the sight of her wife in such deep relaxation, and then closed her eyes again to dream herself.

Zatanna envied her wife because Gisella didn’t have Temporal Displacement Syndrome. Zatanna did, even though it was less harsh than some of the other friends she’d fought alongside at the last gleaming, like Superman or Bruce Banner. Once they’d all finished safely sealing away this universe from any threats, they made their way into the timeline, and always the first thing that confused them was what had happened to the map of the USA.

Zatanna gave thanks to the great magical powers that at least they only got, like, the sinking of what used to be Arizona and other anomalies like the fusion of the Dakotas and Carolinas, and Delaware somehow never existing. She’d take minor map vandalism over, heaven forbid, a totalitarian USA.

A young boy walked by on the beach, then suddenly stopped and looked again. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

Zatanna happened to open her eyes again, saw the boy, and smiled. “Yes, can I help you?”, she said quietly.

“Oh my gosh… you’re Zatanna?”, the boy said, walking closer.

“That’s right!”, Zatanna said cheerfully. “I am her.”

“I’ve seen you at the Forum!”, the boy added, trying to not let himself be completely overtaken by pure gushing. “Your show’s amazing! You’re one of my heroes.”

Zatanna leaned forward playfully, her grin becoming catlike. “Would you like an autograph?”

“Yes, please!”, the boy said, overwhelmed.

Zatanna picked up her wand from the table near her sunlounger, waved it, and said, “moor letoh sih ni ,hpargotua na nam gnuoy enif siht eviG”.

Nothing happened. The boy blinked.

“All done.”, Zatanna announced cheerfully. “There’s a surprise waiting for you back in your room, honey.”

The boy pointed at her wand. “T… that’s a real magic wand?”

Zatanna smiled and nodded.

“You… do actual magic with it?”

Zatanna playfully shook her index finger. “Uh-uh-uh, dear.”, she jokingly chided. “A magician never tells.”

“Oh, right, sorry.”, the boy replied, composing himself. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”

Zatanna smiled and blew him a kiss. “Don’t mention it, dear.”, she said. She waved as she watched him walk off.

“Nice way of dealing with a fan.”, Gisella quipped. She pretended to still have her eyes closed, but it was obvious she was awake.

Zatanna laughed.

Gisella opened her eyes and jokingly reached her left hand to tickle Zatanna’s right breast. “I’m amazed he didn’t say anything about your tits.”, she joked. “Very civilised young’un.”

“Dear, I cast the spell, remember?”, Zatanna joked, reaching her wand out to poke Gisella’s cheek. “People see us having bikinis even though we’re completely naked.”

“Oh yeah!”, Gisella said with a laugh. Zatanna let her continue to tickle and play around with her breast.

“Honey, I was thinking of getting something.”, Zatanna said. “Do you want ice cream or a drink?”

Gisella thought for a moment. “Drink would be better now.”

Zatanna nodded. She waved her wand and said, “won thgir gnivah tuoba gnikniht er'ew sknird revetahw htob su teG”.

Two glasses of drinks manifested in each of their hands. Zatanna burst into laughter upon seeing Gisella’s.

“What on earth is that?”, she said incredulously.

Gisella gave her a proud smile. “Lime in the coconut.”

Zatanna laughed.

“Y’know, like in that song?”, Gisella added.

Zatanna got the laughter out of her system and they both started drinking their drinks through straws, holding each other’s free hand.

"This ain't as bad as the song said it was.", Gisella joked. "I don't feel a bellyache at all."

Time passed as they relaxed, enjoyed each other’s company, and watched the people swim and pass by on the beach, as the sun slowly continued its arc across the sky.

“You wanna do the Riverfront Café for food later?”, Zatanna asked.

Gisella nodded. “Sure.”, she replied. She then gave Zatanna and impish smile and added, “We could go butt-naked and use that spell to make everyone think we’re dressed.”

They both burst into laughter.

Chapter Text

It was precisely 12:00 and Zatanna and Gisella manifested inside Delphi Redondo Beach Apartments, located at 916 Esplanade, Redondo Beach. They were on the top floor, directly in front of the door they needed, and were dressed in their usual outfits.

Zatanna knocked on the door.

“Coming!”, She-Hulk’s voice could be heard from the apartment.

She-Hulk opened the door and cheerfully said, “Hey hey! It’s my favourite magicians!”. She went ahead and enthusiastically hugged both Zatanna and Gisella.

“We love you too, Jen.”, Zatanna said sweetly as she reciprocated and patted She-Hulk on the back.

“Are you two ever late? Hahaha!”, She-Hulk joked as she released them and led them into her apartment. “You’re always on the dot!”

“Magic, Big Green.”, Gisella said with a proud smirk.

She-Hulk giggled as she welcomed her guests. Her apartment was most swanky, decorated almost like a space age bachelor pad. The walls were painted a pleasant shade of green and full of posters, from movies to bands to cartoons. The interior décor was spacious, and the sofas looked comfy. If not for the fact that it was on the top floor, She-Hulk might’ve even tried to add a conversation pit, to complete the time warp experience.

“Your place is awesome as ever, Jen.”, Zatanna said. “I love just how retro it is.”

“Hey, thanks, Zanna.”, She-Hulk said, patting Zatanna on the shoulder. “I really appreciate it.”

Overhearing some music in the background vaguely, Gisella gently patted She-Hulk on the shoulder and asked, “Hey, Shulkie, what’s that you’re listening to?”

“Hmm?”, She-Hulk turned her attention to Gisella.

“Sounds kinda different from what you usually blast when you have guests.”, Gisella added.

“Oh, that!”, She-Hulk exclaimed, and giggled. “Lemme show you!”

She-Hulk led Zatanna and Gisella into one of the rooms, where her computer was turned on, and she was playing a game of Star Control II. The current screen showed Captain Walters of the Hulkinator, staying in Hyperspace.

“I was just playing some Star Control II!”, She-Hulk said, pointing to the computer. “I’m nearly done with this game, actually.”

Zatanna moved in closer and looked at the monitor with interest. “Looks like a classic game.”, she said.

“Oh yeah, it was back in ’92, but this is the open source port, The Ur-Quan Masters.”, She-Hulk said, arms akimbo as she proudly loomed over the monitor while Zatanna and Gisella watched. “I’ve got the Precursor bomb from the Chmmr, so I just have to go fight the Sa-Matra to beat the Ur-Quan.”

“Sounds great!”, Gisella said enthusiastically, not understanding a word of what She-Hulk just said. “You’re on the way, then?”

She-Hulk laughed. “Oh, no, I’m hanging out in Hyperspace right now, waiting for the Death March to start!”, she said.

Zatanna blinked, and looked at She-Hulk with an amused expression. “You’re… waiting for the Death March?”, she said playfully.

“Yeah!”, She-Hulk replied. She pointed at the top of the monitor. “I’m waiting for it to be 19 March 2159 in-game first.”

Gisella chuckled. “Why?”, she asked.

“It’s because I want the Ur-Quan to exterminate those awful Druuge before I exterminate the Ur-Quan and save the galaxy!”, She-Hulk replied.

Zatanna and Gisella looked at each other and She-Hulk, and all laughed at just what a sentence you don’t hear every day that was.

She-Hulk went on to briefly explain to her guests how the Druuge were the second worst civilisation in Star Control II, a brutal caricature of extreme capitalism who lived in a slave society where everything was owned by the Crimson Corporation and everything is punishable by death.

“Yuck.”, Zatanna said. “They sound like the fuckin’ worst.”

“Urgh, tell me about it.”, Gisella added. She playfully bumped She-Hulk’s shoulder. “You’re doin’ the right thing, Big Green. Let those fuckers burn before you save the worthy.”

She-Hulk chuckled. “Now, you two ladies must be starving!”, she said as she put the game on pause. “Why don’t we go into the kitchen and fix a meal?”

“That’s a plan I can get behind!”, Zatanna joked, tipping her hat.

She-Hulk led Zatanna and Gisella to the kitchen.

Looking around, Gisella exclaimed, “Whoa, it pays real good to be a lawyer, Shulkie. This is an awesome place.”

She-Hulk laughed. “Actually, Gee, I do all my labour lawyer work pro bono.”, she commented.

“Then… how’d you pay for all this?”, Zatanna asked, waving her wand around.

“Yeah, you can’t magic money like we do…”, Gisella said, confused.

She-Hulk gave them both a mischievous smile. “Same way you do, ladies.”, she said. “USWA licensing!”

“Whoa! Really?”, Zatanna asked.

“Yup!”, She-Hulk said, waving her hand in an arc. “I make just enough to afford a good life and that’s it.”

“Is that why you lawyer for free?”, Gisella asked.

“Hahaha, of course, Gee.”, She-Hulk replied, affectionately patting Gisella on the back. “I don’t need the money. It’d be wrong to charge for it. Labour law’s super important.”

Zatanna nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’re doing an important service, Jen.”, she said. “Without you, people wouldn’t know their rights, and couldn’t fight for dignity at work.”

“My woman, right here.”, She-Hulk joked, hugging Zatanna. “You get me, Zanna. Both you do. That’s why I love you ladies.”

She-Hulk, Zatanna, and Gisella went into the kitchen to prepare their lunch.

They would spend the rest of the day chatting, enjoying each other’s company, watching She-Hulk win a game of Star Control II, hopping down for a quick swim in Redondo Beach, and watching a movie together, making silly commentary all the while.

At the end, She-Hulk thanked them for the amazing day, and all 3 agreed they had to do this again as soon as possible.

Zatanna then cast a spell and teleported herself and her wife back to their house.

Chapter Text

Zatanna and Gisella drank from their tea. They were currently in a swanky little teahouse hidden off one of the side streets of Los Feliz, meeting with an old friend, Madame Xanadu. She tasted the tea herself, and then smiled and said, “Bare! Zatanna, you sure know how to pick some real mandǐn!”

Zatanna smiled and replied, “Thank you, Danu. I’m honoured. Sashin?”

“Owli, mandi kushti.”, Madame Xanadu replied.

Gisella leaned back in her seat and smiled mischievously. She had no idea how to speak Romani when they arrived, but that had all been solved by a simple snap of the fingers and now she was fluent in it. As far as she could guess, her wife had probably cast a spell for herself as well, since the only foreign language she knew Zatanna was fluent in without magic shortcuts was Italian.

Curiosity got the better of Gisella and she ventured: “Katar kai tutti jells?”. So far, from what she’d heard of Madame Xanadu in conversation, it was hard to pinpoint where she was from since she seemed to switch between Romani languages at will.

Madame Xanadu was momentarily surprised, and chuckled. “Oh, you rinkna râne, tutti rokker Rummanness?”

Gisella decided to be cheeky and replied “Oja.” If Madame Xanadu was going to use Angoloromani at her, she was going to reply with Vlax Romani.

Madame Xanadu clapped her hands and laughed. “Poshrat?”, she asked Gisella. “Tatchi rumanni?”

Gisella laughed. “No, I just use magic, like my wife.”, she quipped. “How d’you think we’re fluent in Romani just now?”

“Ah, Zatanna, I still remember when you were younger and learning at your dat’s side.”, Madame Xanadu said, pointing at Zatanna. “You can kek even conjugate a verb then!”

Zatanna laughed.

“You’d give me a snack and say, zumavel, just the infinitive! Rakar kek!”, Madame Xanadu added.

“That is true, hahahaha.”, Zatanna replied, wiping her eye. “I was still learning how grammar works.”

Madame Xanadu replied, “Hey, tu had more grasp of it than… that zèleno murs, so’s of nav?” She gestured. “Big one, angry, kek talk?”

“Former green, you mean?”, Gisella added.

“Ya, of.”, Madame Xanadu said. “What you called him?”

“Oh, you mean Bruce.”, Zatanna said, giggling. “Bruce Banner. He’s not Hulk anymore.”

“Hence former green.”, Gisella added, and then took another drink of tea.

Zatanna smiled. “Hasn’t been since the last gleaming.”, she said. “It’s great. He’s finally free.”

Gisella made a curious expression and asked, “Wait, weren’t you at last gleaming too?”

Madame Xanadu waved her index finger as she drank more tea. “Kek.”, she said. “Kek. Nane. Or, ‘no’, as tumen gadžové say.”

Gisella giggled.

“Precognition is nasul for close-range combat.”, Madame Xanadu added. “As is interpreting magic.”

Zatanna reached out to hold Madame Xanadu’s hand and said, “You were a great help after, though. Banishing demons ‘n all that.”

Gisella chuckled. “Good tall legs isn’t here,” she joked, “she woulda given you an earful about kakodaimones again.”

Madame Xanadu raised an eyebrow. “Tall legs?”, she asked.

“Wonder Woman.”, Zatanna clarified.

“Ah.”, Madame Xanadu said. After a pause she asked Gisella, “Do you nickname everyone?”

“Uh… kinda?”, Gisella said, giving an exaggerated innocent smile.”

Madame Xanadu asked, “What’s my nickname?”

“Uh…”

Gisella paused to think, while Zatanna and Madame Xanadu drank more tea.

“I dunno, really.”, Gisella said, shrugging. “I don’t see you too often, y’know?... like… yeah, I got nothing. Big accent?”

Madame Xanadu laughed. “Owli, really?”, she asked. “Baro-baro?”

“Bigger than Witch.”, Gisella replied.

Madame Xanadu looked confused.

“She means Scarlet Witch.”, Zatanna hastily added. “You know, Wanda.”

“Oh.”, Madame Xanadu replied.

Zatanna giggled and stroked her wife’s hair affectionately. “You’ll have to excuse my darling.”, she told Madame Xanadu before giving Gisella a loving kiss. “She’s just impossible with names.”

Madame Xanadu laughed. “Tu?”, she said, pointing at Gisella. “You’ve got unbelievable powers and you can’t remember names?”

Gisella chuckled. “Better a scatterbrain like me have unlimited power than some genocidal nutbag.”, she quipped.

They all took a break to drink more tea.

“I tell you, Zatanna,” Madame Xanadu said with a frustrated tone, “these gadžové don’t respect jadu.”

Zatanna giggled with her hand to her mouth. “Something got you down at work again, Danu?”, she asked.

Madame Xanadu waved her hand aimlessly in the air as she waited for the words to come. “I can sense and pendžarav magical forces. I can see futures!”, she said. “And on treat me like a secretary.”

“Doesn’t sound so bad.”, Gisella commented.

Madame Xanadu sighed and looked at her cup of tea. “It’s just… tang.”, she said. “All of it.”

“How do you mean?”, Zatanna asked.

“Gadžové… their minds… are just so tikno, eh?”, Madame Xanadu said. “I can interpret tarot cards, they just go about making… so kodo? ‘Contingency plans’.”

Zatanna and Gisella looked at each other with a playfully amused expression.

“You give gadžové magic… all they ever ask, how can I confess to this ʒuvli I like? Or manuś or whatever. How can I get more money? How can I get a better job?”, Madame Xanadu lamented. “Kau dives, tajsa, same old thing.”

She shook her tea cup and drank the last of her tea.

“No respect for jadu, kek.”, she continued. “They could ʒanel secrets of the universe! They could be awed by something baro-baro than on!” She let out a chuckle. “Kek. They just want convenience. Teleport anywhere, get more money. All that… so you call it, Star Tracks thing?”

Zatanna laughed. “Trek, Danu. Star Trek.”

Madame Xanadu nodded.

Zatanna continued: “Look, Danu, far be it from me to interrupt you in your cranky immortal grandma phase…”

Madame Xanadu gave Zatanna a look that wanted to be annoyed but was in fact amused.

“…but I think that’s a great thing.”, Zatanna said. “Most people, they don’t want a lot. They just wanna be happy, y’know? To have a good life. They don’t need infinite power or infinite money or anything.”

“I sure don’t!”, Gisella quipped, wrapping herself around Zatanna’s arm lovingly.

“Oh, shush, dear.”, Zatanna joked, pretending to bonk Gisella on the head with her magic wand. “It’s better that people just want fun and love.”, she continued to Madame Xanadu. “Anyone who just comes to ask you how to meet their love or make more money isn’t another lunatic who wants a porajmos.”

Madame Xanadu looked at Zatanna confused.

Zatanna smiled awkwardly. “Um… the Roma genocide?”, she said.

“Oh. Amen kek call it porajmos.”, Madame Xanadu said.

“Then... what do you call it?”, Zatanna asked.

Madame Xanadu shrugged. “Eh, nothing.”, she said matter-of-factly. “Rrom, rromni been mudarel for… ever. The gadžové, they see us and dara. They think we’re nasul. Kerno. Melalo. Nothing’ll ever change that. Why cling to nasul memories?”

Zatanna reached out and held Madame Xanadu’s hand.

Madame Xanadu chuckled mildly. “I’ll give tumen kado, you Americans at least think amen Roma are magicians.”, she said with gallows humour. “Fucking Europe, the gadžové treat us like trash. Like it’s our fault for being poor?”

“That’s just stupid.”, Gisella said.

“Honey… societies can be really stupid.”, Zatanna said.

Madame Xanadu smirked. “I get it from both sides.”, she said. “I’m Roma for the gadžové, but I’m moxado for the Roma.” She laughed. “They think I lost all my Romanipen. Fuck ‘em.”

Zatanna grinned. “Ah, so you foretold a future where this conversation didn’t end as a bummer!”, she joked.

Madame Xanadu laughed.

“Owli, I guess it’s not so bad.”, she said.

“Well, duh! You work for the government!”, Zatanna said cheerfully. “That’s totally bitchin’!”

“Yes… ode something to be said for these humans.”, Madame Xanadu said.

Gisella smiled and nodded. It was a sentiment she could agree with.

Chapter Text

The weather in Los Angeles was beautiful, as expected. It was perfect weather for an incongruous sight.

Zatanna and Gisella leaned against a tree on West 78^th Street. Their immaculate suits presented a stark contrast with the construction workers around them. Zatanna and Gisella looked over a diagram with the construction foreman.

“As you can see, it’s a simple assignment for now.”, he said. “We just hope it’ll be possible to replicate it for the rest of the street…”

Zatanna smiled. “Don’t worry, chief.”, she said, reassuring. “A little fine tinkering and presto, we’ll have fixed everything from here to Walnut Park!”

The foreman’s concerned look changed to curiosity. “You think you can do that?”

“Oh, sure, piece of cake!”, Zatanna said, beaming with pride.

Gisella grinned and leaned in to kiss Zatanna on the cheek. As usual, Gisella only paid attention to her wife. She had her arms wrapped around Zatanna from the back and rested her head of Zatanna’s shoulder.

Zatanna smiled and caressed Gisella’s hair. Gisella purred with joy.

“Then… we could repeat the process afterward, if necessary?”, the foreman asked.

Zatanna nodded, one hand patting her wife’s head. “Oh, yeah, it’ll be easy.”, she said, giggling.

“Well… you ladies are the experts in magic.”, the foreman conceded.

Behind him, two of the workers scoffed. The foreman turned to them, annoyed. “Oh, yeah, sure!”, he exclaimed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “You try to be sceptical about magic around the world’s greatest magician!”

“I don’t see how stage magic is gonna do anything to speed up this job, chief.”, a worker replied.

The foreman was this close to facepalming. “Peters, is this your first rodeo?”, he asked, annoyed.

“No, chief…”, Peters replied. He pointed to his co-worker. “Me ‘n’ Stewart worked with that Cyclops dude on the HSR. Just saying we could use superpowers here.”

Zatanna chuckled. “We do have superpowers, gentlemen.”, she said.

The foreman waved his hands. “Anyway, let’s get down to business.”, he said. “The sooner we finish this, the best for everyone.”

“Right, yeah.”, Stewart said, skeptical.

Zatanna and Gisella gave one last look over the diagram. “You think it’s easier to add an extra floor on top of the building, or below it?”, the foreman asked.

“You have a preference?”, Gisella asked.

The foreman scratched his head. “The local talked to the City Council.”, he said. “They agreed if we could somehow raise the building by a floor…”

Zatanna nodded.

“…so that the homes are up on the floor, and the ground floor could have space for shops and businesses and the like.”

“Win-win for Inglewood.”, Peters commented. “Economic boost and walkable neighbourhoods, right?”

The foreman gave Peters a deadpan stare. Zatanna could only giggle.

“Yeah, no worries, chief. We’ll be on top of it.”, she said.

The construction workers laughed at her pun.

Gisella looked at the diagrams and snapped her fingers. Now, everyone could see the house in front of them levitating in the air.

Gisella snapped her fingers again. The house gained an extra ground level, and longer stairs.

Gisella gave a smug smile. “Something like that, chief?”

The foreman looked at her with mild annoyance. “Yes, I suppose.”, he conceded. “Now we’ll have to check on the whole structure to make sure it’s sound.”

“On it, chief.”, Zatanna said. She pulled out her wand, waved it, and said: “tnerapsnart yletelpmoc esuoh eht ekaM”.

The structure was now transparent. Everything was in sight – wiring, load-bearing structures, the lot.

The foreman nodded. “Thank you very much, ladies.”, he said. He then turned to his workers. “Peters, you and Jackson check the wiring. Stewart, get Wells and look at the plumbing and heating. Martínez, check the load-bearing walls.”

“Right, chief.”, Peters said.

The workers went into the house.

Gisella snapped her fingers again and manifested a pocket mirror and lipstick. She made an ostentatious show of applying lipstick.

Zatanna gave Gisella an affectionate smile. Then, a somewhat apologetic one to the foreman. “My wife’s being nonchalant, don’t mind her.”, she said.

“Uh-huh.”, the foreman replied.

Time passed in awkward silence. No sign of the workers completing their inspection yet. Zatanna looked happy. Gisella looked smug. The foreman looked like he couldn’t wait for this to be over.

“By the way, Miss Zatanna…”, he said.

Zatanna perked up. “Yes?”

“I went to your show with my wife and kid.”, he said. “It was great. They loved it.”

Zatanna smiled. “I’m glad to hear.”, she said.

The foreman sighed. “We didn’t get a chance then…”, he said, halting. “But… if I could trouble you for…”

Zatanna grinned and laughed. She knew what he meant. She interrupted him in advance: “For your wife, or your kid?”

“Ah… my kid.”, he replied. “He says he wants to be just like you when he grows up.”

Zatanna felt touched. “Aww, how sweet.”, she said. She waved her wand and cast another spell. Then, she handed the foreman a personalised autograph.

She realised something, and let out an amused chuckle. “Sorry, I forgot to ask for your kid’s name?”, she said.

“Oh, my bad.”, the foreman said with a chuckle. “John.”

Zatanna was about to cast a spell when Gisella snapped her fingers, nonchalant. The name now appeared on the autograph.

Zatanna grinned and hugged Gisella. “<Sweetheart, you’re so hot when you’re insouciant.>”, she said in Italian.

Gisella still kept her eyes closed, but her mouth cracked a smile.

Zatanna whispered into her ear: “<How’s about you put that lipstick to good use, dear? Your wife has a scandalously clean face.>”

Gisella grinned and began to kiss Zatanna with passion. The foreman was polite and gave them their privacy.

By the time the inspection ended, Zatanna had half a face full of kisses.

All they had to do after was the necessary adjustments. Then reproduce the whole thing across the neighbourhood.

Gisella offered to make clones of the workers to speed up the process. Zatanna laughed and insisted to do it herself with magic, for greater accuracy.

And so, the construction workers got an early end to the day. South Los Angeles got a magic increase in housing density and living space.

And Zatanna and Gisella teleported back home with faces full of kisses.