Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Young Love

One Heartbeat

“That cloud looks like a turtle.”

“It does!”

“It looks like it has only three feet, though.”

“You’re right!”

“And, I’m not sure which end is the head.”

“Me, neither!”

“You… can’t actually see what I’m talking about, can you?”

“Nope!”

We both laughed. Our backs were up against the trunk of the tree. Her head was resting on my good shoulder. We’d eaten all the rice balls already.

“All clouds look like white blurs to me now,” Kanao explained, adjusting her head so she could look at me. “But, I can see your face just fine.”

She gently slid her hand into mine. My left hand had no feeling anymore, so she held my right hand. She always sat or stood on my right, so she could hold it. My right hand was callused, thick, and scarred, but she never complained. She sipped her tea with her free hand, sighed, then put her head back on my shoulder.

“Aoi says only sixty percent of vision remains in my left eye,” she continued. “I can see things up close perfectly well, just not things far away. They all look like blurs. Around the edges is all dark. So, you know what that means for you, Tanjiro?”

“What?”

“Never go too far from me.”

I smiled. Kanao’s right eye was completely blind, and my right eye was, too. So, with her leaning on my right shoulder, I actually couldn’t see her at all without straining my neck. But, it was all right. It was warm outside, the sky was a crystal clear blue, we had had a nice picnic, and I was happy. I was happy that she was there. I rubbed her hand with my thumb. I never did want to go too far from her. Except, I was going home the next day. My sister and friends needed me back so we could finish repairing the roof of the house. A tree branch had fallen on it in just the right way during a storm, making a huge hole. Zenitsu and Inosuke fixed it the best they could, but they still needed an extra hand, even if I did only have just one. I didn’t want to leave Kanao so soon, though. It felt like I had only just got there. The Butterfly Mansion was a peaceful place, especially in the spring. Kanao and Aoi didn’t leave it after the battle because they had nowhere else to go. But, that wasn’t true. There was another place.

“Tanjiro?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“I just want to walk.”

“Sounds good.”

We packed up the picnic. As soon as everything was put away, Kanao slung the basket over her shoulder and put her hand back in mine. This is something we did every time I came to visit. She just wanted to walk around with me. I loved it, though. Sometimes we talked about various things, and sometimes we just held hands in silence. Now that we were standing and her head was off my shoulder, I could turn and look at her. She stared at the sky for a minute.

“What is it?”

A single butterfly floated past us, aimlessly and freely. Kanao reached out her free palm for it, but it kept going without a care.

“It’s all right,” Kanao mused. “Tanjiro, I changed my mind. Can we go visit Shinobu and Kanae?”

“Of course.”

She smiled. Despite the fact that most of her vision was gone, her eyes never lost their shine. My bad eye was a completely different color now. It had been a year since the final battle, and I was still getting used to it. My good eye was the same deep red, whereas my bad eye was more like a faded maroon. It didn’t have any brightness left, either. It was just dull. We both lost our vision in the final battle. So much was lost - so many of our friends, comrades, and teachers, like her master, Shinobu. Kanao’s vision was sacrificed saving my life. It didn’t bother her at all, though. She was living the rest of her free life without any regrets about it. She made such little comment about it, sometimes I honestly forgot. She was so strong, in so many ways. I looked at her now, and I couldn’t get over how beautiful she was. She was beautiful and strong. It amazed me every day.

“What’s wrong?” Kanao asked suddenly.

I had to have blushed again. I thought about finally spitting out that her beauty sometimes overwhelmed me, but my tongue was numb.

All I said was, “Nothing.”

Kanao giggled and then blushed, too. I felt my heart jump into my throat and then slide down my chest. We started walking off toward the cemetery. My hand now felt like it was glued to hers. No, it was melded. It felt like it belonged there, had always been there, and always would be. We’d been dating since the final battle, but visiting back and forth had been hard. There were still many things to do at the Butterfly Mansion. With the demons gone and no more need for the location of the mansion to be hidden, Master Kiriya and his sisters allowed for Shinobu’s wing and the medical quarters to be transformed into a hospital for travelers and sick people in nearby towns. Aoi had taken over for Shinobu as the head doctor, and Kanao stayed on to help her. She couldn’t come visit me, I could only come visit her. And there were things to do back home, too. So, we’d been together a year, but our time actually spent together was more like three months when added together. We exchanged letters via crow during the interim. Every time I got one, I wanted to get on the road and go see her, but there was always something that delayed my return. I wanted Kanao to be part of my home. My feelings for her had grown so strong. And, it was still far away… but I didn’t have much time left.

I wasn’t afraid of the curse of manifesting the mark, which fated me to die at twenty-five. I was sixteen now, and it was April. I would turn seventeen in July. That gave me eight years. Did I want to die that young? No, of course not. But, I wasn’t afraid. I didn’t have any desire to live forever. I was going to die as a human. We’d all sacrificed some part of us in the final battle, and I had done what I could to bring peace. I was at peace with the curse - except when I was with Kanao, then I started to worry. She had told me several times that she was at peace with my curse, too, and that she was just glad to have me for all the time that she could. Although, despite how many times she reassured me, I could always smell the faint scent of a lie. This was the reason she never wanted to leave my side when we were together. She wanted to cherish every moment we had together, every last second. That’s what I wanted, too. I knew what I wanted to tell her, but I knew I wasn’t ready yet. So, I just kept following after her, trying to choke down my heartbeats. They were going faster than our footsteps.

The cemetery was peaceful and sunlit. Kanao and I usually went there when I visited. I didn’t mind going with her. I also liked visiting the graves of my friends. However, Shinobu wasn’t really buried under the grave marker that bore her name. Her body was never recovered, because she had been consumed by a demon. When Kanao and my friend, Inosuke, defeated the demon, Shinobu’s body disappeared along with its. So, Kanao had Shinobu’s butterfly hairpin interred in the same gravesite as her sister Kanae, who had died many years ago, at the hands of the same demon. It meant a lot to Kanao to have her masters in the same place. In fact, to call them her “masters” would be somewhat of a disrespect. Kanao referred to them as her sisters. We were kneeling now, and Kanao took her hand out of mine to pray. My palm suddenly felt cold, as if something was missing.

“Hello, sisters,” Kanao said. “I’m with Tanjiro, so today is a good day.”

I tried to suppress it, but I broke into a huge grin. Not that I wasn’t trying to smile, I just didn’t want my joy to be so obvious. I waited for Kanao to say more. Sometimes she had a lot to say to them. Sometimes we both talked. But, today, she was quiet. I always made sure to give her the lead when we were there. If she wanted to be quiet, I wasn’t going to interrupt. I was fully aware I was blushing again, but Kanao wasn’t looking at me this time. She was deep in thought, with her head bowed, her eyes closed, and her palms pressed together. She was smiling, though. The silence wasn’t awkward at all. I was perfectly occupied just watching the sunlight bounce off of her beautiful hair. Suddenly, she stood up.

“All right,” said Kanao. “That was all I needed for today.”

“Was it a good talk?” I asked.

“It was!”

She extended her hand toward me. I was very glad to hold it again.

“Aoi should have dinner ready soon,” Kanao said. “Do you really have to leave so early tomorrow morning?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I wish I could stay longer, I really do. I told you about our roof. It’s still really cold in the mountains right now, and I honestly don’t trust Inosuke and Zenitsu to do a good job by themselves.”

“Haha, those two knuckleheads,” Kanao laughed. “And, how is Nezuko?”

“She’s great! She gets along with both of them so well. But, she needs me, too.”

“Is it… maybe too well?”

“Huh?”


“You know… does she… like Zenitsu back?”

“Oh…” I chuckled to myself shyly. “I’m not sure. I’d have to ask her, but those two have something, for sure.”

“I wish I could come visit you,” Kanao sighed.

“I would love that.”

“When’s the next time you’re coming back here?”

“Probably two months.”

“That long?”

“I need to find a job.”

She looked up at me. The sunlight danced in her eyes. My heart skipped a beat.

“Look at you, a man providing for his family,” she said with a smile.

“That’s always been my life,” I managed while suppressing rising heat in my chest.

I thought maybe if I did that, I wouldn’t blush again. But, I clearly failed.

Kanao giggled and simply said, “We should go in. You’re getting a lot of sun.”

She pulled me in the direction of the mansion, and she tightened her grip on my hand. If I didn’t tell her I was in love with her by morning, I was going to explode.

Dinner was a simple meal of beef stew. We were seated at the kitchen table next to each other, with our friend, Aoi, sitting across from us. We had been eating in silence for a while, then Aoi perked up.

“Kanao,” she said. “Tomorrow morning, I’m taking a trip to the nearest village to pick up some supplies from the apothecary. Will you come with me?”

“Yes, after I see Tanjiro off.”

“That’s fine, but we’re on a tight schedule.”

“All right.”

Aoi then turned to me. “So, Tanjiro, how are your sister and friends?”

“They’re doing great!” I replied. “In fact, Inosuke was asking about you.”

Aoi suddenly looked up at me, puzzled.

“What was he asking?”

“You know, Inosuke isn’t always the best at communication…” I said, covering my full mouth. “But, I believe he just wanted to know if you remembered him.”

Aoi gulped hard and then coughed a little.

“Well, of course I remember him. How could I not remember someone who wore a boar’s hide on his head? Not to mention that he was a patient of mine several times! But, I think he was probably asking if I remembered what he did the last time I saw him.”

Both Kanao and I looked at her in confusion, then at each other. When neither of us said anything, Aoi kept going.

“He dug out a bunch of flowers and roots right out of the ground and gave them to me. It was right before you left the mansion after the final battle last year. I was confused, but accepted them. If that’s what he wants to know if I remember, tell him yes.”

“I… never knew about this before,” I said slowly.

“You never told me, either,” Kanao added.

“I don’t know, it was a year ago,” Aoi said hastily and put another bite in her mouth. “I’m surprised it took him this long to mention it to you.”

“Like I said… he’s not the greatest with communication.”

“Hmph,” Aoi huffed, and then started to clear her plate away. “Tell him to send a crow personally if he wants to talk to me.”

With that, she stood up and left the room. Kanao and I turned to each other.

“What was that about?” I asked.

Kanao shrugged. “You have sauce on your lip.”

“Oh,” I said, and fumbled around for my napkin.

“No, I got it.”

She suddenly reached up and wiped my face for me with my napkin, which was sitting on my knee. In my bewilderment, I completely froze up and let her do it. She scooted her own chair closer to mine and leaned in close. I still had food in my mouth but was too frozen to swallow it. I felt my blood pressure increase. Meanwhile, my mind had gone completely blank and I could only half-register what in the world was going on.

“There, it’s gone.”

I saw her mouth move but didn’t hear what she said. I swallowed my food. It tasted like nothing at this point.

“Tanjiro?”

My name was at least familiar while my ears were ringing.

“Yes?”

“I said, it’s gone.”

“Okay.”

There was a pause. Then, Kanao moved her chair closer yet again.

“I’m going to go to bed soon, if you’re leaving so early.”

“All right, I guess I’ll go to bed soon, too.”

Kanao stood up. “By the way, I don’t think Aoi is angry at Inosuke. You know her. She’s a bit tightly wound.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay, then,” Kanao said. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

Kanao paused before she walked toward the door, like she wanted to say more. Instead, she just smiled shyly and left the room. My head was spinning. I lost the feeling in my legs, and then… oh no… My nose was bleeding. In my daze, I still managed to find my napkin and tried to stop the gushing flow. With my nose bleeding, and other things, I now couldn’t stand up, and my heart felt like a train. She had never made my nose bleed like that before. There was no way I could tell her I loved her now. I clearly wasn’t strong enough. I would just turn into this mess and fall apart. I had to go straight back to training when I got home. Yes, I still trained, even though I was no longer a fighter. It was harder with only one functional arm, but it made me feel good and it kept me confident. I was confident in everything that I did, except when it came to Kanao. In that regard, there were still a lot of things I had to work on. I had been confident enough to tell her that I liked her and that I wanted to keep seeing her. But, this was totally different. I didn’t have the confidence to tell her how I really felt. That was something much more significant and special. It would tear me from the inside out, but I was not going to tell her tomorrow.

After I got my nosebleed under control and could feel my lower body, I slowly stood up and got my plate together. I figured Kanao was probably a little embarrassed by what she did, which was the reason she walked off so abruptly. I didn’t hold it against her. After that nosebleed, I was tired, too. It was a strong nosebleed. I took a few stumbling steps at first, but I found my way back to the kitchen. Then, I found my way back to my room.

The next morning, I ate a quick breakfast. I packed up my luggage in record time, but I wasn’t in a hurry to leave. I didn’t want to leave today. I wanted to stay an extra day, although that wouldn’t have had made leaving the next day any easier. I rushed through my breakfast and packed quickly because I wanted to see Kanao. If she and Aoi were on a tight schedule, then I didn’t want to miss her. I would not have a good trip home if I did. So, I went down the hall to her room and knocked on the door.

“Hello? Kanao? It’s me.”

There was no answer. Did I dare open the door anyway? No, that would’ve been totally wrong. I checked the kitchen instead. Normally Aoi was there, but today she wasn’t. The kitchen looked like it had just been cleaned, however. Could they already be up? They could already be outside, waiting to go. I gulped. Saying goodbye to her was always hard, but for some reason, today felt especially hard. I adjusted my pack on my shoulders and went outside to the mansion entrance. Sure, enough, Kanao was there. There was no sign of Aoi.

“Good morning,” I called to her.

“Good morning,” she chirped with a smile.

She was always smiling, much like Shinobu always did. While I could tell that Shinobu’s smile was forced at times, Kanao’s was always genuine. I loved her smile. I couldn’t help but to grin myself when she was smiling.

“Where’s Aoi?” I asked.

“She’s looking for the supply list,” Kanao replied. “Someone else in the staff must have misplaced it. You know that Aoi would never lose anything.”

“Yeah,” I laughed.

I suddenly noticed that Kanao was holding a bundle. She held it out to me.

“Here’s a snack for the road. It’s just some rice balls, not much.”

“It’s everything I need,” I reassured her, putting the bundle in my pocket.

She looked up at me. Last year, she didn’t have to look up at me that much. I had gotten taller. At first I didn’t notice it at all, then Nezuko started pointing it out. Now Kanao had to look up even more. I couldn’t explain how, but it made her eyes seem even bigger.

“You’re really not going to come back for two months?” Her voice seemed to be pining.

“I could maybe make it one and a half?”

“One and a half is definitely better,” she said quietly.

“I’ll send a crow as soon as I get home. I will miss you, Kanao, I will.”

“I know.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll miss you, too, Tanjiro.”

“I know.”

There was a pause that was probably only for around twenty or so seconds, but it felt like forever. Then, we moved. Everything happened simultaneously in the timespan of an eternity and the blink of an eye. Kanao threw her arms around my neck, my arm instinctively wrapped around her, I pulled her close, and then her hands were on my cheeks. I wasn’t sure if she pulled my face forward or if we both leaned. I was just following her lead. The next thing I knew, her lips were on mine, and the entire rest of the world was gone. It didn’t slowly melt away. It was just gone immediately. There was only feeling left. If every second that went by in real time was a year in this void, then Kanao and I stayed like that for a century. I was vaguely aware that I pulled her in even closer. Her lips were soft. Her hands were warm. Her scent, which I had always thought was soothing and sweet, was overwhelming. My mind was nearly blank, and I couldn’t believe what I was experiencing. I hung on because I was perfectly content with never letting go.

Then, there was a faint noise in the background of the void. I didn’t want it to dissolve yet, but the sound was inching closer, and my mind was waking up.

“Kanao? Kanao, where are you?”

It was Aoi’s voice calling from around the corner. Kanao pulled away reluctantly. I didn’t let go of her. Reality was still coming back to me. Aoi wasn’t in view yet. She definitely couldn’t have seen anything.

“I’m over here,” Kanao called in a wavering voice.

Her hands slid down to my shoulders. I was still holding her close. My non-functioning arm hung limp at my side like always, but I couldn’t feel anything in my functional arm, either. Aoi was coming up the hill, and Kanao moved out of my grip. It was only because she had no choice. Aoi was in view, and we were standing apart as if nothing had happened. My expression probably looked like I had just been hit in the head with a brick from behind, so I quickly rubbed my eye and shook my head from side to side. My lips felt like they were glowing. Kanao stood as still as a statue as Aoi came up to us.

“Are you all right?” Aoi asked.

“Yes,” Kanao replied. “It’s just early. Do I look tired?”

“You look like you just came out of a trance,” Aoi said with a raised eyebrow.

“Ah, yes, I’m still waking up,” Kanao laughed shyly.

Aoi turned towards me. “Tanjiro, it’s always good when you’re here. So, you’ll be back in two months?”

“Uh, yes…”

“Are you all right, too?” Aoi asked. “Both of you look stunned.”

It was no use. Aoi was sharp as a tack and straightforward to a fault. Nothing got past her. She probably knew that something had just happened, or was figuring it out.

“Anyway, Kanao, we have to go,” Aoi said. “It’s a long trip.”

“Yes, I’m coming. Just give me one more second.”

Aoi continued to look at us suspiciously, but she turned away to give us one last minute. Once Aoi was out of earshot again, Kanao turned back to me. The morning light made her look absolutely radiant.

“Tanjiro…”

“I’ll be back in one month!” I blurted out.

Kanao’s eyes went wide.

“We don’t need that extra half! That’s way too long."

I was barely aware of the words falling out of my mouth. My lips still felt like they were glowing, and I couldn’t feel them moving.

“I’ll send a crow. E-Exactly thirty days from now. I promise."

She broke into a bright smile. “That’s great. See you soon.”

“See you soon.”

“Kanao!” Aoi called.

There were a few more words exchanged, but eventually I walked away and Kanao ran after Aoi. For the first five minutes down the road, my ears were ringing. Once my mind had its act together, I let out a huge sigh. That was it. That was my first kiss. It was unbelievable. There were so many times as a demon slayer where, had situations gone differently, I would have died and that first kiss would have never happened. I thought about how I had met Kanao briefly at final selection and didn’t think twice about her. I thought about the first time we ever interacted. Kanao jumped me from behind, kicked me in the back, tried to slay Nezuko, and then knocked me unconscious by kicking me over the head. I had an especially hard head, and yet Kanao had still knocked me unconscious. That’s how strong she was. In an alternate storyline where I had held that against her… I stopped those thoughts immediately. I just wanted to focus on what I was feeling at that moment, such warmth, such joy. The glowing in my lips had stopped, but now I was pressing and rubbing them together. I wanted the feeling of hers back. I probably did that while walking down the road for half an hour. Thankfully, I didn’t pass anyone. Otherwise, I definitely would’ve looked like a complete weirdo. I didn’t have the strength to tell her I was in love with her, but somehow, I had kissed her. What was more, I didn’t mess anything up. I had no idea if I could actually make it back in one month, but I knew my heart wasn’t going to be able to wait for very long.

The journey home took a few days. The trek was always worth it. I didn’t mind walking, because it reminded me of hard work. Going towards the Butterfly Mansion was worth it because I got to see Kanao at the end, and going home was worth it because I got to see Nezuko, Zenitsu, and Inosuke. I wanted to bring the two together, though. I wanted Kanao to be at home with me. When I reached home, it was late at night. It was April, and I lived in the mountains, so there was still some snow left on the ground. It was dark. Normally, Nezuko left a light on for me, but there was no light in the distance to be seen. I approached my house. Everything was still, but calm. Everyone had to be asleep. That was actually good. I wanted some alone time with my family. The graves of my family - my father, and my mother and siblings who were killed on that fateful day - were right around the corner from my house. Except for my father, I had buried them there myself. A bed of bright flowers grew over their remains now. It was a peaceful place. I came here before and after every trip I took, but this time was different. I knelt beside them now. I hadn’t told them yet. I had waited because I wanted it to be official first. Even though I hadn’t actually said the words to Kanao, the kiss made it pretty official. I inhaled and exhaled, then bowed and raised my hand.

“Father,” I whispered. “Mother, Takeo, Hanako, Shigeru, and Rokuta. It’s me. I’m back from my journey.”

I paused. The words wouldn’t come out. It was like I was telling them in person.

“I’ve told you that I journey back and forth from the Butterfly Mansion,” I continued. “I haven’t told you why yet, but I can’t hide it from you any longer. You see…”

My heart was fluttering. This was also the first time I was admitting it to myself in words. I felt a little vulnerable.

“I didn’t think this would ever happen, but it has. You see… I… I’ve fallen in love.”

With it out, I had to catch my breath. I waited for some kind of response, even if it was only in spirit. There was a light, warm breeze. They had heard me.

“Her name’s Kanao Tsuyuri.” I smiled telling them her name. “She’s strong, she’s kind, she’s loyal, and she saved my life. You would all like her, and she would like all of you, too. She would have fun with you in particular, Hanako. You always loved playing with hair. Kanao has beautiful hair. She’s just beautiful in general, too. And, her heart is the most beautiful thing about her of all. You would be making fun of me so much right now, Takeo. I know you are. I just wish you all could’ve met her in person, and love her as much as I do.”

I still intended to tell them about the kiss, but I stopped there because I was choking up. I didn’t break down sobbing, but the tears in my eyes were plentiful. My blind eye could still cry. It was just the sight that was gone. So, the truth was out. Well, to everyone except Kanao, that was. Nezuko, Zenitsu, and Inosuke all knew very well, even if I had never actually told them. It was so obvious, I didn’t need to use words for them to know about it. I didn’t think that I was crying that much, but suddenly I heard footsteps in the snow behind me. I didn’t have to turn around. It was the scent of someone familiar.

“Nezuko?”

“Hi, brother,” she whispered.

I turned to see her. She was wrapped up in a heavy blanket, and her hair was frazzled.

“I’m sorry,” I said and wiped the tears from my eyes. “I was crying too loud and woke you up.”

“No, I was actually still awake,” Nezuko yawned. “I’m surprised you came home so late. Why didn’t you stop at an inn? Did you really just keep on walking?”

“I was in a rush to talk to the family. I… I had to tell them, Nezuko.”

“Tell them about Kanao?”

So, she had heard everything I said.

Nezuko yawned again, but then she smiled. “Brother, they already knew. It’s as clear as the blue sky that you’re in love with Kanao.”

“Yes, but, I had to tell them in person,” I said. “I had to hear my own voice say the words, too. I was going to tell Kanao while I was visiting, but I couldn’t.”

“You will, brother.”

Nezuko came over to me and put her arms around my shoulders. The blanket slid back, revealing the scars up and down her left arm - scars that I had given her. I couldn’t help but feel a little guilt whenever I saw them, despite how many times she told me she didn’t care.

“Well, I couldn’t find the strength to tell her,” I continued. “But, there was something…”

“Something?”

I paused again.

“Something bad?”

“No, something good,” I whispered. “Something great.”

“What?”

Nezuko’s voice wasn’t begging and her scent was honest. I took a deep breath. It was okay to tell her. And I was telling my family, too.

“Kanao and I… well, we actually kissed.”

I expected Nezuko to have a dramatic reaction, but instead, she just smiled warmly. She hugged me and gave me the other wide end of her blanket. I knew I could confide anything in my sister. After all, everything I endured was for her.

“Brother,” Nezuko whispered warmly in my ear. “I mean this sincerely. You and Kanao have started something beautiful together.”

“Yes, I know we have.”

“And, it will only grow.”

My eyes were getting heavy. I rested my forehead on Nezuko’s shoulder. The confession drained me of all my energy. I was suddenly hitting a wall.

“I hope so,” I murmured.

“Tell me, how did the kiss happen?” Nezuko asked.

“It happened like we were in sync, like in one heartbeat.”

“Then, you have nothing to worry about.”

I thought for a minute about the future. It was still so unclear, but there was one thing I knew. If I only had eight years left, then I wanted Kanao to be in all of them. Nezuko never let me bring up the curse, however, so I had to think of something else to say.

“Do you think Takeo’s making fun of me right now?”

“Oh yes,” Nezuko laughed softly. “He’s making fun of both of us.”

“Both of us?” I exclaimed and picked my head off of her shoulder. “What do you mean, ‘both of us?’”

“Let’s go inside. It’s cold out here.”

“Nezuko…”

“You must be exhausted, brother.”

She stood up quickly. I fumbled for my footing and then stumbled back under the blanket with her. My confession had turned into a double exchange of secrets, or had it? I wasn’t feeling embarrassed anymore, now I was just confused. And something else in me really wanted to slap Zenitsu upside the head.

“Nezuko,” I pressed her on with a more serious voice. “Tell me right now, what did you mean, ’both of us?’ You don’t actually…”

Nezuko didn’t answer me. I wanted to keep talking, but I just clamped my mouth shut. Zenitsu had always been extremely obvious about how he felt about my sister, but Nezuko had always redirected him before. It didn’t stop him from continuously trying, though. I guessed Nezuko would tell me when she was ready, just like I was going to tell Kanao when the moment was right. Until the next time I visited Kanao, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about the kiss - and about how I wanted to kiss her again. And, I really wanted to kiss her again.

Chapter Text

Keep the Pace

The day following my return from the Butterfly Mansion went something like this. First, I was not planning on telling Zenitsu and Inosuke about the kiss right away. But, of course, with Zenitsu’s superior hearing, he heard everything I was talking about with Nezuko the night before from inside the house in his sleep. I had been thinking about the spirit of my younger brother, Takeo, making fun of me, but nothing could have prepared me for Zenitsu’s reaction.

“YOU KISSED A GIRL, TANJIRO? CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE ALMOST A MAN! I KNEW YOU’D CATCH UP AT SOME POINT! HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

He cackled for hours. Later that day, I went to get the bath ready for myself. Suddenly, Inosuke stopped me.

“Hey,” he grunted. “Tanjiro… did you, uh, get my message to Aoi?”

“Oh, I did,” I replied. “She remembers you, although I’m not sure why you thought she wouldn’t. She remembered something you did in particular.”

He was wearing his boar hide, so I couldn’t see his face, but he was giving off a scent of happiness that was like… blushing?

“Oh, you mean she remembered me giving her flowers?” Inosuke started stamping his feet excitedly. “That’s awesome! You should have seen the look on her face when I did that. She got this big smile and she looked at me and I got goosebumps. I never get goosebumps! It was some awesome stuff!”

Then he started cackling away, too. I was a little unnerved by that. I expected that kind of nonsense from Zenitsu, but now Inosuke?

“Hey, wait a minute!” Inosuke added. “I’ve got an idea! Next time you go visit Kanao, take me with you!”

“Um, I kind of go alone for a reason…”

“Yeah, but it’s not like I’m going to bother you and Kanao!”

I got a weird shiver up my spine, calmly told Inosuke that I wanted to take a bath, and excused myself. He tried following me into the bath, still begging me to take him with me on my next trip. I told him to go chop wood, his favorite activity, and then he got excited and seemed to forget all about the conversation. Once I was in the hot bath and relaxed, I thought about Kanao. How was I going to tell her? Would trying to kiss her again be awkward? The first one happened so seamlessly, but what if the anticipation ruined the second one? It wasn’t good to dwell on what ifs. As a slayer, I had become so accustomed to analyzing the situation and all possibilities before they happened. It was still a habit I found myself getting caught in. I thought about how Nezuko said that I had no reason to worry. I had to trust that it would feel right. Everything just felt right when I was with Kanao. I could start by finally telling her that she was gorgeous, and then maybe the confessions would roll out after that. The steam of the bath was really soothing. It made thinking about Kanao even more calming. Then… oh, dear. Not a nosebleed, not in the bath. Thankfully, it wasn’t as powerful as the one she gave me. But, aside from the blood now on my face and in the bath water, it felt really nice. Who knew it was so nice?

Then, the next few days were back to normal. We fixed the hole in the roof completely. We had a campfire one night. Zenitsu and Inosuke had a dinner eating competition another night. They did this once a month in the spirit of one of our deceased mentors, Kyojuro Rengoku, who always ate with gusto and yelled, “TASTY!” I usually participated, but I didn’t have the patience for it that time. The one thing weighing on me was that I had to find a job. The four of us were all contributing to the income. After the final battle, Master Kiriya had given all the surviving corps members money on behalf of his family estate, so we had been pretty well off for a year. But, that wouldn’t last forever. Inosuke had already taken my place selling charcoal. I couldn’t cut wood anymore with one arm. Zenitsu had started writing poems and songs and even published a few of them. He changed all the names, but they were all about Nezuko… Nezuko was doing some work in the village like housekeeping and cooking, and then there was me. I didn’t have a job yet, and I felt useless. But, that was the only reason going to see Kanao was possible at all. I kept busy with all the things that came with daily life, but I needed more. The following week was spent oscillating between worrying about finding a job and worrying about seeing Kanao again. I finally decided to ask Nezuko for more advice. Who better to ask about women than my sister?

“Nezuko?” I called out. “Hey, Nezuko?”

I couldn’t find her in the house, but I knew that she wasn’t outside. Or, she could have been in the village working, but she would never leave without telling anyone where she was going. Inosuke was on a charcoal run, and Zenitsu was in the bath. That’s what I thought, at least. After more searching, I finally picked up Nezuko’s scent. She was in the shed. Why was she in the shed? And, I smelled Zenitsu, too. Why were they both in the shed? Well, that was where we kept all the storage. But, why? The sharp sense of perception I developed as a slayer was starting to dim since I returned to normal life, but I still should’ve been able to figure this one out.

“Hey, Nezuko?” I called again.

I knocked on the door gently so not to scare her, but instead, it creaked open. I stood in the doorway and stared incredulously at Zenitsu and my sister kissing passionately. They were kissing with such fervor, it was like they had been doing that for much longer than I was aware of. Now everything Nezuko had said before, about how our brother would have been making fun of both us, all made sense. Why I didn’t see this coming, I didn't know. Why I never smelled it before, I also didn’t know. I was dumbfounded, not just at Nezuko and Zenitsu, but at myself for not ever catching whiff that this was going on. I stood frozen for a few minutes, trying to figure out what in the world to even say to them. But, in the end, I didn’t have to. I just sneezed. It was completely involuntary. Zenitsu jumped a mile high and Nezuko let out a little scream.

“Um… Nezuko? Zenitsu?”

“T-T-Tanjiro!” Zenistu squealed. “What are you doing here? How did you know?”

“Brother,” Nezuko panted. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you a while ago. You see, Zenitsu and I…”

“What the heck is going on…?” I managed monotonously, still incredulous.

“You’re not mad, are you?” Zenitsu begged for my approval.

“I’m not mad,” I said. “Not yet.”

“Wait, not yet?”

“If you give me an honest answer for why you’re kissing my sister and how long this has been going on, then I might not get mad.”

Nezuko sighed. “I shouldn’t have kept it a secret from you, brother. Zenitsu and I have been dating for four months. We tried to keep it to while you were away visiting Kanao so you wouldn’t worry about leaving. We were going to tell you soon.”

“Yeah, and uh, you were always so protective of Nezuko, that I thought you might kill me or something,” stammered Zenitsu.

“Zenitsu, I’ve known you had a crush on Nezuko since the beginning.”

“Oh, that’s right, I guess that’s true. Tee hee hee hee!”

Because I was half-blind, I couldn’t roll my eyes anymore. But, I certainly still looked at Zenitsu with a very dissatisfied expression. That only made his nervous giggling even worse.

“Brother, is there a reason you were looking for us?” Nezuko asked.

I couldn’t ask Nezuko for advice about Kanao after witnessing her make out with my best friend… or maybe, this made her advice more valuable.

“How about I tell you after dinner?” I said instead.

“Sure, brother.”

“Hey, uh, Tanjiro, please don’t kill me, okay?” Zenitsu said nervously.

He was quaking, like I’d really kill him because he didn’t tell me he was dating my sister.

“Just don’t do it in front of me, okay?”

“Of course!” Zenitsu cheered. “That is exactly what we’ve been trying to do this whole time! That’s why you didn’t know! Until right now, and…”

“I won’t kill you, but I might hit you.”

Zenitsu’s giggling abruptly stopped.

“Come on, honey,” Nezuko said, grabbing Zenitsu’s sleeve. “Let’s go back to the house.”

Nezuko dragged Zenitsu by the sleeve back down the hill to the house, while Zenitsu kept chattering.

“Of course, my flower, we’ll have a nice, long talk about this.”

I stared after them, feeling kind of queasy. Honey? My flower? Knowing Zenitsu, what else did they call each other? I made a mental note never to call Kanao something that stupid. Or, maybe I just wouldn’t call her any pet names at all.

Dinner went by awkwardly because Zenitsu and Nezuko were quiet and Zenitsu wouldn’t look me in the eye. Inosuke figured out that something was going on, then jumped to his feet and demanded to know what it was. I told him that I caught Nezuko and Zenitsu kissing.

He bellowed, “I ALREADY KNEW ABOUT THAT!”

Then he proudly slurped down his soup because he had figured out something before me. After dinner, I just wanted to go to bed, but Nezuko came in my room ready to talk. I sighed and brushed my hair back with my hand. I had so many questions and comments.

“I see,” Nezuko mused after I told her everything. “You just want things to be seamless.”

“Yes,” I sighed with relief.

“Would it make you feel better if I told you something?”

“What?”

“I haven’t told Zenitsu I love him yet. And, he hasn’t told me.”

I was slouching, but I sat up straight. “But, you said you’ve been dating for four months.”

“Yes, but, ‘I love you’ are big words,” Nezuko explained. “You don’t have to tell Kanao right away. If you want things to be seamless when you tell her, then don’t tell her the next time you go. You should wait.”

“You know I’ve always been patient,” I said. “But I’m having a really hard time being patient on this.”

“I know what you feel is true love,” Nezuko said with a smile. “But, that’s actually why you should wait.”

I felt like curling into a ball. I didn’t have all the time in the world. Nezuko knew that. I wasn’t afraid of the curse. That’s what I told everyone. I would accept my fate if it meant that all of my loved ones got to live life free of demons. But, it was always in the back of my mind, and I was thinking about it more and more, especially whenever I was thinking about Kanao. Maybe Nezuko would let me bring it up now, if it was a legitimate reason.

“Nezuko… if I only have eight years…”

She punched me hard in my good shoulder, then gave me a look. I guessed I still wasn’t allowed to talk about it with her. She always shoved what I said about not being afraid back in my face whenever I tried to bring it up, and she’d sound like she was concerned about my mental well-being. However, I knew that she also just didn’t want to be reminded that her brother was dying. All of our other siblings had died, and now I had a time limit. When I was gone at twenty-five, Nezuko would be twenty-four. I knew what would happen to her. Then, she would spend decades alone and grow to be an old woman with no family. I understood why she refused to talk about the curse. It was a hard subject for everyone. But, we were also avoiding something very important.

“As for why you’re so afraid of kissing her again, I already told you that you don’t have anything to worry about,” Nezuko said, with a slight huff because she was annoyed at me. “Do you want me to tell you about my first kiss with Zenitsu?”

“Uhhhhhhh…”

“Let’s just say it was not as dreamy as yours with Kanao. Neither was the second one, or the one after that. But, we kept doing it, and now we don’t have any hesitation at all. So if your second kiss is not the same as the first one, don’t worry about it. And, don’t try to force anything, either. Let everything happen naturally, but that doesn’t mean it will happen smoothly. If you say everything feels right when you’re with her, then why do you overthink it all when you’re not with her?”

She made an excellent point, as always. Kanao drove me crazy, in many ways. I never thought I would fall this hard for anyone. For years, the only thing I could think about was my quest. I realized now that I was in love with Kanao long before I was aware of it. It was hard not to overthink everything. Not being with her could get unbearable. So, Nezuko was correct. I was moving too fast. My overthinking was months ahead of reality.

“If Zenitsu wasn’t here all the time,” I said to Nezuko after a long pause. “Wouldn’t you overthink about him, too?”

“Probably,” Nezuko replied. “But, listen, brother. There’s one more thing I wanted to tell you about.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve done some housework for one of the village councilmen’s wife. She told me that he’s willing to offer you an apprentice position working for the village. Everyone in the village respects you, after all, and knows about our journey, and if you’re willing…”

“YES!” I interjected, more loudly than I intended. “I mean, of course! I’m honored.”

Nezuko was startled, and she looked at me with big eyes. She changed to a smile.

“All right! When I go down to visit her tomorrow, you can come with me. I feel like this is just the job for you, brother.”

And so, Nezuko got me a job working for the councilman. Finally, I was ready to bring in income just like everyone else. But, that also meant that it was going to get harder to see Kanao, and that made me want to tell her I loved her even more. I understood what Nezuko was trying to tell me about waiting, but I felt like I was disintegrating inside. Why was I so impatient? This wasn’t like me at all. It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that my life was ticking away. The only other people who knew about my curse were the survivors of the final battle. Nobody in the village knew about it. I also wasn’t the only one who manifested the mark and now bore the curse. Sanemi Shinazugawa and my friend, Giyu Tomika, the only two Hashira that survived, shared my fate - and they were both older than me. Tomioka and I still exchanged letters via crow, and he told me that Shinazugawa had already gotten married. Shinazugawa was twenty now. Tomioka was twenty-two. I asked Tomioka if he was with anyone. His next letter that came back simply said, Yes, I am, and that was it. It made me happy to know that Tomioka had found someone special. But, when I pressed for more details in my next letter, he didn’t even answer me back at all. He had never been consistent with my letters. I wanted to assume that he was preoccupied with something good rather than something bad, but I still worried.

I tried to keep in touch with everyone from the final battle, and some replied more often than others. Shinazugawa and I didn’t exchange letters. He’d always hated me. I didn’t like him, either, and I liked almost everyone. I only knew what he was up to because of what Tomioka sent me, and even Tomioka didn’t actually write to him. He got all his information from someone else. I didn’t know all the details. Somehow Tomioka had heard things about Shinazugawa, and I was glad that Shinazugawa was doing well, as much as I didn’t like him. Even if I was gone, I wanted everyone to live their life to the fullest now that they could. I’m sure that Tomioka felt the same way. Tomioka knew I was with Kanao, because that was one of the things I wrote about most. He never replied to any of it, though. But, it was in all my letters, so I knew that he knew.

When it was finally time to go back to the Butterfly Mansion, I tried to think about what Nezuko had told me about moving too fast. My stomach churned the entire journey. One time, I actually had to stop on the side of the road because I thought I was going to be sick. Apparently, overthinking could cause physical sickness. The trek took longer than usual, but I had also left early. I couldn’t wait any longer. Before I left, I found Inosuke poking around my luggage. When I caught him, he suddenly stood as still and upright as a statue.

“Um, Inosuke?” I had asked. “What are you doing with my backpack?”

“N-No reason!” he fretted and twiddled his thumbs. “I, uh, slipped a piece of paper into your pocket. But, don’t look at it! Take it out when you get there, okay?”

“Sure…”

It was weird seeing Inosuke get frantic like that. We had been training together since the final battle. He often helped me when I was inhibited by my bad arm. I was determined to keep training, and it was better with Inosuke. Zenitsu joined us sometimes, but not always. We weren’t slayers anymore. That was his attitude towards it, and I understood. Since Inosuke still refused to wear a shirt, he would flounce up to me and Zenitsu and ask about his physique, like he wanted our approval. I could smell that there was something he wasn’t telling us. Zenitsu could hear it in his voice, too. But, I honored his wishes and didn’t look at the piece of paper he slipped into my backpack for the entire trip. I still arrived on time. I took a deep breath, opened the front gates to the mansion, and peered inside.

There she was. Kanao was sitting on a rock in the courtyard. She was sewing something. It looked like a square cloth with a butterfly pattern. That made sense. It wasn’t in the colors of the hairpin she wore in her own hair. I assumed it probably had to do with Shinobu or Kanae, and I smiled. I opened my mouth, and it took a few seconds for sound to come out of it.

“Kanao?”


She perked up suddenly. Since I was standing a bit far away, it took a few seconds for her to realize it was me. But, once she did, she burst into a huge grin and ran to me.

“Tanjiro!”

She flung her arms around me, her sewing project still in her hand. I held her tighter than I ever had before. She leaned on me, tilting me backwards. She was standing on her toes.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

She was right by my ear. It was like music.

“I missed you, too,” I replied.

She sank back on her heels. Her eyes looked even bigger. Maybe I had gotten even taller. We both beamed at each other. She reached up and touched my hair.

“Did I ever tell you how gorgeous your hair is?”

“Yes,” I laughed. “So is yours.”

She beamed at me brighter. There, the first confession was out. I was sure I could handle things now.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes, actually I am,” I replied. “Do you have any snacks?”

“Aoi put out some sushi,” said Kanao. “She’s not here, she’s busy with a patient. But, she knew you were coming, and told me we could help ourselves.”

“Sounds good.”

Kanao clasped my hand and started to lead me inside. My hand was finally back where it belonged. I breathed in relief. I had fretted and worried the entire month and the entire trip, but Nezuko was right. I really didn’t have anything to worry about. My heart was pounding, but I was happy. I was confident that I could take it slow. I could take this visit at a slow pace even with my heart beating a mile a minute. It didn’t make much sense, but I was with Kanao. I didn’t care much for logic when I was with her, because my mind could barely think straight in the first place. She just drove me crazy.

We had our snack and talked about everything that had happened while we were apart. She was excited to hear that I got a job. She told me stories of patients who had come through and places she’d visited with Aoi. Then, she put down her chopsticks and cleared her throat. She looked like she had swallowed something awkwardly.

“Are you all right?” I asked.

“I’m fine. I just should probably let you know.” Kanao twirled her hair in contemplation. “Aoi figured out what happened last time very quickly. She knew that we were kissing from the beginning.”

So, the topic of kissing was on the table. I was glad I was not the one who brought it up. But, I didn’t show any of that. I just sighed and laughed.

“I knew that she would. Nothing gets past Aoi.”

“I wasn’t embarrassed,” Kanao giggled. “I thought maybe you would be. I’m glad that you’re not.”

Kanao absentmindedly placed her hand on the table. I reached out and gently touched her fingers. She smiled and looked at me longingly. I could easily have stared at her for hours, but just then, my crow flew through the window.

“KAW! TANJIRO KAMADO! MESSAGE FROM YOUR SISTER NEZUKO!”

Both Kanao and I yelped, then I banged my foot hard on the leg of my chair. Because the window was behind Kanao, she had no way of seeing it and was very startled.

“What?” I barked at my crow angrily. “What is it? Is she all right?”

“She sent me all the way from home to tell you that you forgot three changes of clothes at home! Kaw!”

I had been so distracted and impatient that I forgot that, too. Now I was going to force Aoi to wash what I had on three times. I let out a groan and facepalmed.

“What do you want me to send back?” The crow squawked.

“Nothing right now,” I said through my fingers. “I’ll send you off tomorrow.”

The crow ruffled its feathers and then flew back out. Kanao started giggling again. The cute sound it made cheered me up a little.

“I feel bad,” I mumbled. “How could I be so stupid?”

“Did I tell you,” Kanao managed between giggles. “That I let Kaburamaru out the other day and forgot to tell Aoi? She mistook him for a cloth and screamed. It was in the hospital ward, and there was a sick patient there. I thought it was very amusing, although she got mad at me for laughing.”

Kaburamaru was a snake that originally belonged to the Serpent Hashira, Obanai Iguro. He was given to Kanao after Iguro perished in the final battle. Kanao mostly let him go wherever he wanted. He usually just wandered the courtyard. I had only seen him a few times when I came to visit, although I did know that Kanao kept him in a cage sometimes. He was highly intelligent and knew not to leave the mansion grounds.

“I’m just saying that you’re not the only one, Tanjiro.”

I smiled softly. “I guess I’m not.”

“Here, I’ll clean up the plates and then I’ll show you to your room.”

“I know where my room is.”

“Yes, but I like showing it to you, anyway.”

She stood up, gathered the plates, and walked over to the sink. My eyes followed her every movement. She had her favorite outfit on, a simple collared shirt and a navy blue skirt that went down to her knees. It was so ordinary, yet beautiful. I suddenly became aware that I had my head in my hand propped up on my elbow on the table, the classic dreamy stare. I adjusted my position while her back was turned. I wanted her to know I was crazy about her, but I didn’t want my body language to be so obvious. There was a difference. It made sense at least in my head. After she was done, I got up from my chair and we walked over to the door together. We both reached for the sliding part at the same time, and our fingers touched again. We looked at each other. The world was disappearing again.

“Sorry,” I whispered. “You said you were going to lead.”

“I like when you lead, too,” she whispered back.

My heart was doing backflips. “Aoi isn’t coming this way, is she?”

“No. She’s still with a patient. I think it was something serious. A hiking accident?”

“That’s really unfortunate. I hope he’s okay.”

“Me, too.”

This time I was the one who leaned. Her lips tasted exactly like I remembered them. And, her warm, gentle fingers went right back to my cheeks, just like last time. It was so instinctive. The only thing that was different was that, this time, time didn’t slow down. I was disappointed by that, but at least Aoi wasn’t there to walk in on us again. Other than that, everything was just as lovely as before. Nezuko said that it wasn’t always this dreamy? Well, then again, Zenitsu was not exactly as smooth as he claimed he was. I was very much in a dream.

Kanao pulled away gingerly. “I still need to show you to your room, you know.”

“Sure. That was lovely.”

She blushed. She showed me to my room, told me she’d see me in the morning, and left. I flopped down on my bed and exhaled. Two things out of the way. As long as I got all the other ones out, then I could keep the three words bottled up a little longer. I licked my lips. I was not exactly sure how Nezuko’s first few kisses went down, not that I really wanted to know… It was too bad that they were awkward. Well, that’s what I assumed, anyway. Let’s just say that it wasn’t dreamy. Neither was the second one, or the one after that. Those were her words. I rolled over on my bad arm, because I couldn’t feel it. That way, it wouldn’t hurt if I laid on it for too long. I looked at my backpack, and noticed Inosuke’s piece of paper sticking out from the front pocket. I guessed it was okay to look at it now. I took it out of the pocket and realized it was folded like a letter. On the front part was sloppy writing. Nezuko had only recently taught Inosuke how to read and write, and his writing was still at a child’s level. I had to look very close in the fading light to read what it said. I squinted and realized that it was Aoi’s name. I raised an eyebrow. Why would Inosuke write a letter addressed to Aoi? It would be wrong to open it and read it. I was extremely confused, but it was a private letter, after all. I got up and put the letter back in my backpack. It was getting dark out. I closed the window, turned the lamp on, and started undressing. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and I blanched. I hastily put my clothes back on. I was not ready for Kanao to see me naked. There was a knock again.

“K-Kanao!” I stammered. “Hold on one second!”

“It’s not Kanao, it’s Aoi. I’m here to give you a new pillow.”

Putting my shirt on by myself was difficult with one arm. Once I managed, I opened the door and saw Aoi there. Just like she said, she was holding a pillow.

“Sorry about that, Tanjiro,” she explained. “All the pillows needed to be changed, and I only just got around to it because that patient took so long.”

“It’s all right,” I sighed. “But, hey, I actually have something for you.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You do?”

“Yes, um, it’s a letter.”

“From who?”

“Uh, Inosuke, apparently?”

Aoi made a strange face. She looked surprised, confused, and slightly alarmed. But, she stayed relaxed, too. She gave off several different scents, so many that I couldn’t tell what any of them were. She handed me the pillow, and folded her arms over her chest. She took a deep breath before speaking.

“Let’s see this letter.”

I awkwardly shuffled over to my backpack and fished out Inosuke’s letter. I handed it to her carefully because I was expecting her to snatch it out of my hand or something. Instead, she took it gingerly and delicately unfolded it. She stared at it for a long time, and I assumed it was due to Inosuke’s horrible handwriting. Then, she looked up at me.

“Tanjiro,” she said slowly. “You know Inosuke far better than I do. Tell me. Is this what I think it is?”

She handed me the letter. I realized it was not actually a letter, it was a drawing in crayon. It was very crude, but I’d seen enough of Inosuke’s drawings to tell that it was a drawing of two people. The figure on the right was unmistakably Inosuke. He was wearing his boar’s hide. He’d even labeled it with the word, “me.” The figure on the left appeared to be a woman with several butterflies around her head and a mop of hair that looked like Aoi’s pigtails. It was even labeled, “you.” Above the two figures was a big, red heart. Suddenly, it all made sense. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

“Um,” I gulped. “I guess it is what you think it is?”

“All right,” was all that Aoi said.

She took the letter back, folded it in half, then tucked it away. Then, she turned and left.

I went back to my room and closed the door, then sat on the bed and tried to make sense of what had just happened. Did Inosuke have a crush on Aoi? That would explain so much. It was why he was acting so weird. It was why he wanted to come with me all the time. But… why did Inosuke have a crush on Aoi? What did he see in her? Inosuke was belligerent and blunt and Aoi was refined and uptight. How in the world was that going to work? And, I hated to break my friend’s heart, but it was obvious that Aoi was not into him. I decided I was not going to think about Inosuke and Aoi anymore. I had had another beautiful kiss with Kanao, and I was here to see her. I decided that if I suddenly felt the urge to tell her I loved her, I would say some other confession instead. There were lots of things I had been keeping to myself. It didn’t take long to fall asleep that night.

The next morning, I went to the courtyard and once again found Kanao already there. She was still working on her piece of sewing.

“Hey, there,” I said happily.

It was getting easier to sound like a boyfriend. I hadn’t actually referred to Kanao as my girlfriend to anyone yet. In my letters, I had just written was that we were still seeing each other. That made it pretty obvious she was my girlfriend, but I had been hesitant to use the word itself.

“Hello,” she said dreamily.

“What are you making?”

“I’m making a quilt, and this is one of the squares,” Kanao explained. “I thought sewing would help keep what vision I have left strong.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“This isn’t the first square I’ve made,” she went on. “I’ve made a few others. It fills in the time between work and it helps fill the void when you’re not here.”

“I need a hobby, then,” I said. “I was losing my mind without you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

She paused for a minute and then put what she was working on in her skirt pocket. Then, she stood up.

“Do you want to take our walk now?”

“That would be great.”

And, so, we went for our walk. Although, there was something different about this one. It wasn’t as peaceful as it usually was. I thought that maybe I had done something wrong, maybe something to confuse her, or it was my imagination. Was I moving too fast? I sighed internally. Everything was so nice the day before. The evening was lovely. The kiss was lovely. But, now it was clear that Kanao was agitated. We finally stopped to sit down on a bench by the old training grounds. There was something about the trees there, like they were the best on the property.

“Tanjiro,” Kanao mused. “Do you really have that hard a time without me?”

“Yes,” I answered truthfully. “I miss you when we’re apart. I know that I promised that I would send a crow, but I was busy with the new job.”

“I have a hard time without you, too,” Kanao replied. “I was thinking. I don’t want to stay here. I want to come to your house, and I want to live there.”

I blinked and my heart got warm. So, she wasn’t angry. That made sense, because I would have smelled anger. My brain was tricking my nose now.

“I will be sad not being able to visit Kanae and Shinobu’s graves anymore,” Kanao went on. “But, I need to move forward. You know, Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho, Aoi’s three apprentices, are getting older now. They could easily take over for us as the doctors here.”

“Wait, ‘us,’ as in you and Aoi?”

“Aoi came to my room last night,” Kanao said. “She asked me if I was still serious about leaving here for you. I told her that I was, and she told me she wanted to come with me.”

“She wants to come live at my house?” I exclaimed. “What for?”

“She said, ‘I’m going to give that Inosuke a piece of my mind,’ but I don’t think she was actually angry.”

I couldn’t believe it. Did Aoi like Inosuke back? That was… incredible. Actually, it was amazing! I started to chuckle to myself. Then, suddenly, I exploded into laughter. Kanao looked at me, surprised. Then, she smiled, too.

“What’s so funny, Tanjiro?”

“Nothing,” I laughed. “Well, not nothing. It’s just that… everyone needs someone. And, I think that’s just beautiful. You and I have each other, Nezuko and Zenitsu have each other, and I guess Inosuke and Aoi have each other. And, I’m happy for Inosuke, because feeling this way about someone, and having them feel the same way about you, is wonderful. I want everyone I know to experience it.”

My hand instinctively reached for Kanao’s, and she looked at me lovingly. She took my hand in both of hers and moved closer to me. She moved with such grace. My concentration was still sharp, but I was slowly forgetting how to breathe. However, I kind of liked the asphyxiation. Zenitsu had once told me that he could hear the sound of a person’s heart. If only he could hear the way mine was speeding like a train in this moment.

“Kanao,” I said softly. “I would love if you came and lived with me. But, you know that, because I have a job now, I might not be back for a while. And, it will mean more time and more planning before you can come.”

“That’s all right,” Kanao said. “I will miss you while we’re apart, but I know that I have you. I’ll do everything I can to make it happen faster.”

“Yes,” I replied. “Because time is…”

“I know what you’re going to say,” she cut me off. “Time is not running out. I've told you this before. I would rather be with you and lose you than never be with you at all.”

And, she was right. And, this is where I never smelled a lie. She was serious about this. I only smelled a lie when she told me she was complacent with my curse. She wasn’t complacent with it at all. She wished with all her heart that it wouldn’t actually happen. But, Kanao was so strong. I could smell something sweet all over both of us and blowing in the air.

“Hey, there… Kanao?”

“Yes?”

Did I dare say it now? The words were right on the tip of my tongue. If I wasn’t careful, they would just fall out. But, an image of Nezuko burst into my brain. She had her hand out in front of her, as if she were telling me to wait.

I gulped. “I… think you’re beautiful.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I think you’re absolutely gorgeous.”

Her cheeks turned bright pink and she grinned.

“You’re pretty handsome yourself.”

The last confession would have to wait for next time, but that was all right. This moment was perfect just by itself. We both leaned in and kissed. Kissing was already getting easy. She ran her fingers through my hair, and my fingers gently cupped her face. My rough, callused thumb caressed her soft, smooth cheek, but she didn’t shy away from my touch. None of that mattered to her. She couldn’t care less about that, or my other arm that was incapable of holding her. She just wanted me in her life. I wanted her in mine. I knew what this was. Nobody had to tell me. This was true love.

Chapter Text

Something to Tell You

Two things happened when I came home from that visit. First, I told everyone that Kanao was planning on moving in. When I added that Aoi was also coming, Inosuke started laughing, cheering, and dancing around the living room so excitedly that he knocked over the lamp. Then, Zenitsu immediately realized what was going on between Inosuke and Aoi. He was so furious at himself for not figuring it out sooner that he stewed in the corner for several hours. Later, I told Nezuko that the kissing had only gotten better between me and Kanao and that I was sorry that her first few kisses with Zenitsu were so awkward. Then, to my surprise, she blushed and started laughing nervously.

“Um, no, they weren’t awkward at all,” she said shyly.

“Oh, well, you made it sound like they were.”

“No, I just told you that they weren’t dreamy.”

“But, they were okay?”

“Um, they were really intense. Like, it wasn’t the delicate, gentle kind of kissing that you described. It was like, we looked at each other just the right way, and then we just started making out. The first kiss was so strong, like we had been doing it forever. And, the second one was like that, and so was the one after it. But, we kept doing it, and now we don’t hesitate, as in, we don’t hesitate to control ourselves. We no longer feel like we need to be so intense about it. Now, we’re a lot more relaxed, like you saw. And, I may have made it sound like it was different on purpose to make you feel better.”

What I saw them doing in the shed didn’t seem relaxed at all! So… how intense was “intense?” There was a silence so thick that if I had tried to cut through it with a nichirin sword, the sword would’ve broken. Nezuko slowly turned redder the longer I stood there staring at her. Then, I just walked away. That night at dinner, Zenitsu tried stealing one of my dumplings, and I slapped his hand with my chopsticks so hard that it left a mark. He immediately froze.

“Hey, Tanjiro,” he said. “What’s with the death glare?”

I wasn’t even aware I was glaring at Zenitsu that hard. Later, before bed, I heard Nezuko explaining to him that she told me. I wasn’t going to let his relationship with my sister ruin our friendship. But, I certainly wasn’t all right knowing that he had kissed my sister like that, and on their first date. I’d have to talk to him myself at some point, but I decided to save it for another time. I had to be at the village council building early the next morning.

My apprentice position consisted mainly of learning the village laws, the customs of nearby villages, and assisting the councilman I was assigned to with his work. The village was in the process of expanding, and I was honored to be a part of it. I was no stranger to hard work and was willing to do it. Within just one week of working there, I had won everyone on the council’s approval. They’d already started referring to me as “Councilman Kamado,” even though I wasn’t an official member of the council. I became flustered and told them I just wanted to be known as “Tanjiro.” I figured my only option was to climb the ladder as a council worker, so I let them still address me that way. I was still uncomfortable with it, though. I was reviewing papers when my boss, Mr. Takeda, came to check on me. After the initial small talk and business talk, I decided it was okay to ask my burning question.

“Mr. Takeda… I was wondering when you’d allow me to be out of office again.”

“You want to take time off again?” Mr. Takeda asked. “Didn’t you just come back from somewhere?”

“Well, I’m not planning on going back so soon,” I explained. “But, there's still a few things left to take care of at the Butterfly Mansion.”

“I see. This is old business from demon slaying?”

“Um, well, it’s more like an old demon slaying contact, or colleague.”

I didn’t believe in lying, so I tried to just dance around the truth. Mr. Takeda figured it out instantly.

“Is this colleague of yours… a woman?”

“She’s my girlfriend…” I sighed.

It wasn’t an exasperated sigh, though. It felt so good to finally use the word “girlfriend.”

“I see.”

“The last time I saw her, I felt as if things are going to get very serious between us soon,” I explained. “Things are already getting serious. I just want to be able to move us both along in that regard. I may need to see her again in a few weeks.”

“Well,” said Mr. Takeda. “The soonest I can let you off again is the first week of July. How does that sound?”

“That will work. Thank you very much, Mr. Takeda.”

“How old are you now, Kamado?”

“I’m almost seventeen.”

“Wow, you seem much older,” exclaimed Mr. Takeda. “And, you’ve already got a serious girlfriend, too. You know everyone in the village has always looked up to you.”

I smiled. Mr. Takeda had a good heart.

“Tell me,” Mr. Takeda said as he was walking away. “What’s her name?”

“Her name’s Kanao Tsuyuri.”

“And, she was also a demon slayer?”

“She was one of the strongest slayers in the whole corps, if not the strongest.”

Mr. Takeda simply nodded, then he went back to his business. I went back to my work, too. Kanao was the strongest slayer in my eyes. I knew that many of the survivors would say that it was me, but in reality, Kanao was the only reason I was still me. One of the biggest guilts of my life would forever be how I was briefly turned into a demon myself at the end of the final battle. I had hurt so many people in that state, including Kanao and Nezuko. The scars down Nezuko’s left arm were all from when I attacked her, and I had slashed Kanao across her chest. And, what was worse, is that I could still remember all of it. Everyone I had inflicted told me that they didn’t blame me for anything I did while in that horrible state, but I couldn’t help but feel guilt-ridden and sick to my stomach whenever I thought of it. Nezuko had been a demon as well, for many years. My whole quest was to save her, and I did, thanks to Tamayo and her powerful antidote. If Kanao hadn’t given me the antidote when she did, I’d still be a demon. I couldn’t think about it anymore.

I decided to think about Kanao instead. However, if I thought a little too much about her, I’d end up with a nosebleed. A nosebleed at work would be unprofessional, and not to mention, embarrassing. My imagination was a mess, so I shook my head. The word “girlfriend” had tasted so wonderful when I said it. It was finally appropriate to use it. It was getting late and I would be able to go home soon. I could give myself a nosebleed then. Soon, I wouldn’t have to request time off to go to the Butterfly Mansion, because Kanao would be here with me. We would never be apart again.

I came home to Inosuke in the kitchen trying to cook dinner, wearing Nezuko’s apron and his boar hide, and still no shirt. He looked absolutely ridiculous. I distinctly remembered that it was Zenitsu’s turn to cook that night and questioned Inosuke on why he was doing it instead.

“Zenitsu went to take care of the fire and Nezuko went out picking vegetables from the garden. That was an hour ago. They never came back, so I started doing it instead! I’m hungry! I swear what I’m making is gonna be awesome, though!”

I instantly walked around the corner to check on the charcoal furnace. It was completely cold, and looked as if it had been for hours. Zenitsu was not checking the fire and I knew that Nezuko was not picking vegetables from our garden… Later, they showed up at dinner seeming like absolutely nothing had happened, which was kind of creepy. In the end, however, Inosuke did cook a pretty good meal. I was impressed.

Zenitsu and I talked about Nezuko eventually. I just wanted him to know that while he was still one of my best friends, he was also dating my sister now. Therefore, he and I needed to establish boundaries. He was actually very mature about it - until he hugged me at the very end.

“I promise to treat your sister right in all aspects of love, all of them,” he said.

The emphasis on the last part sounded a little too suggestive to me. At least, he wasn’t trying to propose to her every other day anymore. I just couldn’t imagine my little sister getting married. I could barely imagine myself getting married… but wasn’t that what I was building to? If Kanao was going to move in with me… that was likely what was going to end up happening next. But, I couldn’t allow myself to think about that. I had to keep the pace, and only focus on one thing at a time.

I had been thinking about how Kanao started her sewing projects to keep her busy when we were apart, so I started to look for my own hobby. I decided to try out several different ones and see what worked best for me. First, I tried painting. It was easy to do with one hand and it killed a lot of time. My first painting was of a flower. Flowers reminded me of Kanao, because, as a slayer, she had used the flower-breathing style. Painting was easy enough, and I thought that it came out well for a first attempt. But, then, Zenitsu walked by.

“Why are you painting a purple waterfall?” he asked.

“It’s a flower,” I corrected him. “It’s a purple orchid and it’s slightly droopy.”

“That’s a purple waterfall.”

“Well, it’s not finished yet. Once I’m done, it will look more like a flower.”

“Even Inosuke’s drawings are easier to figure out.”

“Well, what would you do if you’re so artistically gifted?!?!”

Zenitsu picked up my brush, dipped it in paint, and added a leaf on the stem.

“I didn’t want a leaf on it!” I protested. “It looked more elegant and natural without it.”

“Now it’s more obvious that it’s a plant.”

“Can I have my brush back, please?!?!”

Within minutes, Zenitsu called both Nezuko and Inosuke over and asked them what they thought I was painting. Nezuko said it was an “abstract thought” and Inosuke said it was just a triangle. I told them it was a purple orchid. Nezuko announced she could see it better now and told me I just needed more layers, but her scent told me that she was just trying to make me feel better. Inosuke didn’t even know what an orchid was. Flowers were just flowers to him. I didn’t paint anything else after that.

Second, I tried going for hikes with Nezuko and playing scavenger hunts. It started out as really fun. However, Inosuke got jealous very quickly and then we had to bring him along. What began as a nice little game with my sister turned into Inosuke insisting that he had to catch dinner every time. After five times of waiting for Inosuke to be done hunting fish in the river, it was all over. The last thing I tried was writing poetry, like Zenitsu did. I didn’t share them with anyone this time. My first poems were about nature. It actually helped put me to bed sooner. However, I ended up writing about Kanao. The poems made me miss her even more, which was the opposite effect that I wanted. Then, I understood why Zenitsu only wrote about Nezuko in his poems. It was because falling in love was all-consuming. So, instead, I was lying awake for hours missing Kanao. I had to stop writing poetry after that.

In the end, I just went back to doing what I was already good at doing - training. I started training a lot more in the two months leading up to when I would see her again. Sometimes I would disappear for hours in the mountains, always when Inosuke was on charcoal runs, so he wouldn’t try to join me. Then, when I would come back and take a bath, and only then would I let myself think of her. After that, I’d be so exhausted that I’d just fall asleep. And, so, I kept at the training, until one evening, about two weeks before I was going to be able to see her again, a crow landed outside our front door.

“KAW! A MESSAGE FOR TANJIRO KAMADO!”

It was the voice of Kanao’s crow. Finally, I had news from her. I untied the message from the crow’s leg with the utmost care, as if it were a precious artifact. I was ready to savor reading every last word that she wrote.

I had the house all to myself. Inosuke was busy making charcoal in the furnace outside, and Nezuko and Zenitsu were on a “date” in the village. I didn’t really ask what it was they were doing on the “date.” I just knew they’d be gone for a while. I was free to sit in the living room by myself and read Kanao’s letter.

Dear Tanjiro,

I miss you. Missing you never gets any easier. I hope that everything is well with you and everyone else. I hope that your job is going well. In the past few weeks, we’ve had a number of patients here that needed Aoi’s immediate attention. That is why I couldn’t write to you sooner. But, I have good news. Aoi and I talked to Kiriya and his sisters. If Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho pass the doctor’s training and exam in August, then Aoi and I should be able to leave the Butterfly Mansion in mid-September. Aoi wanted to know if she would be able to find a job as a doctor in your village. As for me, I have enough money saved up that I won’t need to find a job right away. When you come back, we’ll talk about this more, but I needed to let you know what was most important.

I visited Kanae and Shinobu’s grave yesterday. I hadn’t been in a few weeks because I was busy helping Aoi. While I was there, I saw a flower growing at the foot of their grave that wasn’t there the last time I had went. The way the afternoon sunlight hit this flower made it look like it was glowing. I could actually see the sunbeams. It made me think about you. You used the sun-breathing style, and I used the flower-breathing style. It was as if Kanae and Shinobu were telling me that I was meant to be with you, that it was okay to leave the Butterfly Mansion, and it was okay to leave them behind. If anything, Shinobu and Kanae always wanted me to forge my own path, and I’ve decided that that path leads to you. Soon, we won’t be apart anymore. Let my crow know when you’ll be coming back. I can’t wait to see you again. There’s more that I have to tell you, but it’s best if I tell you in person.

Kanao

Tears welled up in my eyes. Kanao always wrote so beautifully. I couldn’t stop thinking about what she wrote about the flower in the sunlight. I read and reread her letter several times, wishing there was more. She was always short and sweet, but sometimes I wanted her letters to be novels. I was grateful no one was around to see me cry. The huge, wet tears were falling out now, and my one hand couldn’t stop them all. But there was one thing I was nervous about. What did she have to tell me? That last line was making my brain do somersaults. Yes, I understood that there was definitely more to discuss when it came to planning for her and Aoi leaving the Butterfly Mansion, but was the last line of her letter referencing something else? Whatever she needed to tell me in person, would it mess up my chance to tell her that I loved her? I would see her in two weeks. That’s when Mr. Takeda said he could let me off again. But, I wanted to hit the road that very moment. I took a deep breath and wiped away the tears in my eyes. I couldn’t become impatient. I had a tangible date now. She would be here, with me, permanently by mid-September. That was three months away.

“Tell Kanao I’ll see her in two weeks,” I told the crow, and it flew away.

There was a noise outside the door. I was so engrossed in the letter that I jumped. Inosuke stood in the doorway, without his hide on, covered in soot from his hair down to his feet.

“Inosuke?” I asked. “What happened with the charcoal? It looks like you rolled in it!”

“I did!” Inosuke replied happily. “It was fun!”

“…Why?”

“I just felt like it!”

He puffed up his chest and snorted, then walked off to the bath. I wondered if Aoi knew what she was getting into.

The next two weeks that went by were unbearable. Nothing bad happened, it was just that getting closer to seeing Kanao again put butterflies in my stomach at random times. I was even distracted while training. Two days before I was going to leave, I sat in the doorway with a cup of tea all evening. I wasn’t even drinking the tea. I just liked the warmth of it on my palm. It was like I was holding Kanao’s hand and feeling its warmth. My brain was on fire overthinking every last detail about my upcoming visit. I was going over several possible situations for how to say, “I love you.” Many of them were very unlikely to actually happen. My tactical slayer’s mind just wouldn’t turn off, even when it didn’t need to be on. I thought of everything Nezuko had told me about just letting things happen naturally. Suddenly, I heard the shuffling of feet behind me. It was in my blind spot, so I had to turn all the way around to see who it was. I was expecting Nezuko, but it wasn’t. It was actually Zenitsu. He was smiling at me. I was a little confused, but I smiled back at him.

“Can I join you?” he asked.

“Sure.”

He sat down next to me. For a moment, he didn’t say anything. The summer breeze blew past us without a care.

“You’re finally going to tell her, aren’t you?” Zenitsu said.

“How did you know?”

“Well, it’s not like I’m trying to eavesdrop or anything…” Zenitsu chuckled awkwardly. “But, I can hear you rehearsing in your room.”

“Oh…”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. I know just how you feel, remember?”

“Yes, of course I remember.”

“I think you’re really brave, actually,” said Zenitsu. “I have a hard time containing myself when I like a girl, sure, but even I can’t drop ‘I love you’ that fast.”

“Someone once told me ‘there’s nowhere else to go but forward,’” I said. “I don’t have as much time as you or Inosuke, so I don’t want to hesitate when I know what I feel for her is true.”

“You mean the curse of the mark.”

“Yes.”

“I thought that didn’t bother you.”

“It doesn’t, but that doesn’t mean I can just pretend like it’s not going to happen.”

“It does bother you a little, though.”

“I’m okay with it because manifesting the mark and the power that it brought me helped bring about a world of peace without demons,” I explained. “But, nobody wants to die young.”

“You want all the time you have with your loved ones to be meaningful,” Zenitsu added for me. “We all want our time with you to be meaningful, too.”

I smiled. “Thanks. Is that why you came to sit with me?”

Zenitsu smiled back. “Yes.”

We sat for another moment in silence.

I whispered, “What if she doesn’t say it back?”

“What makes you think she won’t?”

“Just an invasive thought,” I sighed.

“I don’t really know Kanao… yet,” Zenitsu said. “But, from everything you’ve shared, it sounds like she’s crazy about you.”

“She is,” I whispered, and blushed.

“That’s so weird about Inosuke and Aoi, though.”

“Yeah, that was a little strange to think about at first.”

“I think Aoi is scary,” said Zenitsu.

“Why?”

“Because she barks things at you! She’s got this shrill voice and kind of glares.”

“Maybe she and Inosuke are perfect for each other, then.”

“Oh, that actually makes a lot of sense.”

The tea in my cup was completely cold now. I still had no intention of drinking it. I sat in the doorway with Zenitsu for another twenty minutes, but we didn’t talk anymore. I did offer him my cold tea, which he accepted, and then he went inside. It was dark now, and I sat by myself for another five minutes just looking at the stars. I thought about how starting in mid-September, I could sit in the doorway with Kanao. We could hold hands and she could rest her head on my shoulder. We could certainly kiss a lot, too. So, I got up and went to bed. If I spent too much time thinking about her, I knew I wouldn’t sleep at all.

Two days later, I was finally off on my journey. While I was walking, I told myself that I was only going to think about it once every few hours. I controlled myself up until the very last leg of the trip, when it completely consumed my brain. The scenarios were flying left and right, and I was talking to myself. Kanao, I have something to tell you. Don’t worry, it’s good. It’s that I love you. No, that wouldn’t work. Kanao, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to say this. I’ll tell you now. I love you. That wouldn’t work, either. It was all too calculated. I was so distracted by my thoughts that I actually walked head-first into the mansion gate. Because of my hard head, I barely felt anything, so I ended up walking in place with my head bumping against the gate for a few minutes. Finally, I shook my head from side to side, snapped out of my trance, and opened the door.

The courtyard was empty. There was no sign of anyone. I looked around and sniffed the air. I didn’t smell anyone familiar. It was a beautiful summer day. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, the sun was bright, and it was perfectly warm. Why wouldn’t anyone be outside? I thought of Kanao’s letter, which mentioned that they had been very busy with patients lately. I guessed that she and Aoi were probably in the medical ward working. I let out a big sigh. I sat down on the rock that I had found Kanao sitting at the last time I visited. You are incredibly special to me, Kanao. I love you. Better. The truth is, I love you, Kanao. That was keeping it simple. But, it also had to be more intimate than just the three words themselves. I knew it really didn’t have to be that hard. I felt a little bit of sweat in my hair, so I fished around in my backpack for a towel. All of a sudden, I heard the fluttering of feathers behind me.

“Kaw? Tanjiro Kamado?”

I whirled around to see Kanao’s crow. It was looking at me curiously with its head tilted to one side. Kanao’s crow also had very peaceful eyes - unlike my crow, who was really cranky. More specifically, Kanao’s crow also always had a pink ribbon tied around its neck.

“Hello,” I said to the crow. “Where’s Kanao?”


“She is tending to a patient with Aoi Kanzaki,” the crow replied. “She will be done soon. Do you want to wait here? I can let her know, kaw!”

“Actually, I need to find a bathroom,” I admitted. “Tell her that I’ll be waiting for her by victory sakura tree.”

The crow squawked in agreement and flew off. I went off to find the bathroom. I didn’t really have to use the bathroom, but I wanted a quiet, private place to compose myself. My gut felt like it was twisted. I knew that I would calm down and everything would fall into place the second I saw her. Once she was back in my arms, I would have everything figured out. I stayed in the bathroom for maybe about ten minutes. I didn’t want Kanao to get to the victory tree and not see me there, so I took several deep breaths and ventured out. She was not there when I got there. So I sat in the shade of the tree and breathed in the soothing smell of cherry bark. At least that put me at peace. I zoned out for a while, and only came to when I heard a single word.

“Hello.”

My eyelids fluttered open. I was lying on the ground, my head propped up in my hand, and Kanao was kneeling next to me with a big smile on her face.

“Was I asleep?”

“A little,” she replied. “My crow told me that you fell asleep as soon as you sat down.”

“How long have you been here?”

“I just got here.”

I sat up. I must have fallen asleep out of anxiety, even if it was only for a few minutes. Once I was on my knees, Kanao gave me a big hug. I squeezed her back and immersed myself with her sweet, flowery scent. Her hair smelled good in particular. She had her hair pulled to the side like she always did, her butterfly hairpin holding it all in place. She actually smelled a lot like the sakura tree.

Kanao sat down next to me, still with her arms around me.

“How was the trip here?”

“It was calm,” I responded. “Except in my head.”

“What goes on in your head?”

“I overthink about you.”

She giggled. “I overthink about you, too.”

We sat there in silence for a few minutes. Her hand was resting on my knee now, so I took it and held it. She leaned on me more.

“What do you want to do on this visit?” she asked.

“Well, we do have to talk about all the details for the move.”

“Yes, we will. I figured we would do that after eating dinner.”

“That sounds good,” I said. “And, uh, what was that other thing you wanted to tell me?”

Because she was leaning on my good shoulder, which was the same side as my bad eye, I couldn’t see her that well from the position we were sitting in. But, I knew what I saw. Kanao suddenly blushed a deep red, and then she gripped my hand harder. It wasn’t an affectionate grip, though. It was like she was anxious. I smelled the scent of anxiety through her sweetness, too.

“That other thing I wanted to tell you can wait,” she finally said. “We’ll get to it after we talk about the move.”

“Okay.”

She didn’t move.

“Do you want to go inside?” I asked.

“I want to just hold you for a few more minutes.”

“Okay.”

Something was bothering her. I began to get anxious, too. But, I couldn’t show her that. I needed to put Kanao at ease somehow. I leaned over and gently kissed her forehead. She smiled and sighed happily, but the scent of anxiety didn’t go away. There was something complicating the move that she didn’t tell me about in her letter. That had to be it. I was determined to play it cool, though, and not let on that I was expecting something.

That night, we talked about all the technical details of the move. Aoi joined us, but she didn’t ask anything about Inosuke. I let her know that there was a doctor in the village that might take her as an apprentice. I described my house to them. Since Zenitsu and Inosuke moved in, we had actually made it bigger, adding more rooms and furniture. I told Aoi and Kanao that they would have to share a room with Nezuko for the time being. Both of them didn’t mind. I knew that Nezuko would be happy to have more women in the house. Afterward, Aoi went to bed and Kanao stayed behind with me. I could tell that she wanted to tell me whatever it was that was bothering her, but I didn’t pressure her. In cases like this, I always let her make the first move.

“How long will you be here this time?” Kanao finally asked.

“My boss gave me four days.”

“I see.”

“Are you all right?” I asked gingerly.

“Yes.”

“You know you can always tell me anything.”

“I know.”

“You can take all the time you need, Kanao.”

I could tell she wanted to move closer to me again, but she was hesitant. She stared into space. She still had some trouble saying how she really felt, despite how far she had come, so I tried to be patient. But, if there was something extra she wasn’t telling me about the move, then I did need to know soon. Finally, she spoke.

“Tanjiro,” she said quietly. “I need to get this out now. Do you mind if we go out by the Victory Tree again?”

“Of course,” I assured her. “And, actually…”

I trailed off because of a lump in my throat. She finally looked up at me, waiting for me to finish.

“Yes?”

“I have something to tell you, too…”

“Okay, let’s walk.”

The sun had already set, but it wasn’t completely dark. It was nearing twilight. We held hands out to the tree, but her fingers didn’t fully close on mine. She was actually very nervous. I held my breath. I prayed nothing was seriously wrong. We stood underneath the tree.

“Do you want to go first?” Kanao asked.

“Um, why don’t you go first?” I replied nervously.

I was worried that whatever she was going to say would ruin what I was going to tell her, but my heart was pounding so hard that I could feel it. I knew that she probably felt the same way, though, so it kind of wasn’t fair to make her go first. One of us had to, though. After an awkward pause, Kanao reached into her skirt pocket. She pulled out her copper coin. She used to use it for making decisions that weren’t ordered, but she had grown out of that. I hadn’t seen it in a while, but she had kept it all this time.

“If it’s heads, I go first. If it’s tails, you go first,” she said.

“That’s fair enough.”

So, she flipped it. For a moment, it disappeared in the tree’s branches, and I was worried that it would get lost. It seemed to hang in the air, obscured amongst the leaves, forever. Finally, it came back down. Kanao caught it, waited, and then slowly moved her hand.

“It’s tails.”

I inhaled and exhaled. I could tell that Kanao was anticipating that I had bad news, so I took her hand to put her at ease. I felt her relax, but only slightly.

“Kanao,” I started. “I’m not going to tell you anything bad. Please, it’s okay.”

She hesitantly closed her fingers. I could feel the blood in her hands slow its circulation, but my heart rate was increasing rapidly. It was time. I took another deep breath, and worked up a nervous smile.

“I-I, you see…”

I was terrified, but I couldn’t contain it any longer.

“I love you, Kanao Tsuyuri.”

For a moment, there was a silence. However, it wasn’t heavy or awkward. Kanao stared at me wide-eyed, trying to register what she had just heard. I felt her fingers clasp, and her blood circulation speed up again.

“Okay, now what were you going to tell me?” I managed shakily.

She burst into the biggest, most beautiful grin I’d ever seen. Then, she moved in close to me, and placed her hands on my shoulders. My arm swung around her. I wasn’t thinking. I was hanging on the moment.

“I love you, too, Tanjiro.”

The words kept ringing like a bell over and over again. Now, I was grinning from ear to ear, too. I was filled with the most wonderful feeling I’d ever had. The sky was completely dark now, but the two of us were shining under the tree. All my anxiety was completely gone. I teared up in relief. She was tearing up, too. There had been so many heartbreaks in my life, but there had also been so much beauty. We both felt it now, this absolutely beautiful happiness. Then, she completely melted into me. The following kiss was so sweet and tender. We actually lost track of time kissing. It may have been half an hour, an hour, or more. But, it was some of the best wasted time of my life. I saw the future, and it was vivid and bright. It bloomed in my head like a flower, with all the sounds, scents, feelings, tastes, and sights. In that moment, I knew that the rest of my life, no matter how long it would last, would be wonderful. If Kanao, this beautiful, incredible woman, was in my life, every last day would be a day well spent. It truly was amazing - loving and being loved.

Chapter Text

Home Is Wherever You Are

After that night, all I could do was count down the days when I would finally move in with Tanjiro. I wanted to talk about it with Aoi, but she had mixed feelings. I assumed it was because she was torn about leaving the Butterfly Mansion, because it was the only home she had ever known. When she told Shinobu that she wanted to be a doctor instead of a slayer, Shinobu immediately started training her. Aoi became the best medic in the entire Demon Slayers Corps, and she was afraid of starting over. That was what I assumed it was all about. As we were eating dinner one night, she finally opened up to me about Inosuke.

“You know, you and Tanjiro have been building your relationship for a long time,” she admitted. “For me and Inosuke, it was more like a really random spark. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, but I haven’t seen him like you’ve seen Tanjiro. I’m just… nervous.”

“That’s all right, Aoi. It’s perfectly normal.”

“Don’t you feel a little scared?” Aoi asked. “This is a huge step, Kanao, not just for you, for both of us.”

“Yes, I am a little scared. But, I do love him, and he loves me, so I’m confident that it will all fall into place in time. ”

Aoi would definitely need more time to adjust than me. I knew she would come through, though. In the final battle, I fought alongside Inosuke against a demon. It was also the demon that killed both Kanae and Shinobu. I found out then that it also killed Inosuke’s mother. In that battle, I saw Inosuke become emotional. I saw his heart open up. I knew what Aoi saw in him. I knew he wasn’t just the aggressive show-off that he appeared to be. If she and Inosuke believed in each other, it would work out.

Before mid-September, Tanjiro came one more time to see me at the Butterfly Mansion. Now that we had both confessed our love for each other, everything was so much more casual. It was wonderful. We joked more freely, we kissed often, and were more free-spirited. One day we went down to the river that ran just outside the mansion grounds. We were lying on our backs in the grass, holding hands. I was pretty sure he was sound asleep, and I was half-asleep, when all of a sudden, he spoke up.

“Are you too hot out here?”

“No, I’m just fine.”

“I’m going to jump in the river for a minute.”

“Wait… what?”

“I just want to get my hair wet.”

“Huh?!?!”

He sat up and trotted up to the river. I sat up, too. For some reason, I expected him to just kneel down on the bank and stick his head in the water. I watched him, amused at what he was doing. Then, I got a better look, and my heart stopped. He was fumbling with his sleeve on his bad arm. What was he doing? Was he…? Yes. He took his whole shirt off, then stuck his head in the river. I sat there frozen. I couldn’t really see him from that distance, but I could still feel my heartbeat quicken. He stayed like that for a few minutes, then picked his head up.

“I feel much better now,” he said.

In the past, he had always been so shy. So, what was with this sudden… reveal? Then, it occurred to me that he probably didn’t think I could see him from where I was sitting. He must have assumed that I just saw a blur, and he didn’t have to be embarrassed about it. But, I found myself walking towards him. He still wasn’t looking at me. He ran his hand through his hair - his thick, gorgeous hair, with the most incredible red highlights I’d ever seen. How did it grow the way it did and still fall in such soft waves? And, it was so soft to the touch. As I got closer, he came into a better focus. That was when I saw his… body. It was much more… fit… than I thought it would be. I shouldn’t have been surprised by it, because I knew he still trained. When I hugged him, I could feel that he was very fit. Now I was discovering how fit with my eye. He had several scars across his chest. They made everything… better. I found myself overwhelmed, and I was aware that I was blushing intensely from cheek to cheek. He turned, realized that I was standing there, and then immediately burst out blushing himself.

“H-Hey, there,” he stammered. “Um, I…”

“Do you feel refreshed now?”

“Yes. Did you want to stick your head in, too…?”

“I have a towel in my bag for your hair,” I said.

“Uh, sure.”

I went back to my bag, still feeling the heat in my cheeks. I found the towel and walked back to Tanjiro. He was still standing there. He hadn’t put his shirt back on. He was still bright red, and he looked like he was too bewildered to move. I approached him with the towel. He probably expected me to hand it to him, but instead, rhythmically, I moved closer. He flinched when he realized what I was doing. I put the towel on his head and started drying it myself. It was just like when I wiped the sauce off his face that other time. He just froze. He wasn’t sure what to do with intimacy. Neither did I, really, but I also wanted to be that close. My heart was pounding, too. But, he had always encouraged me to follow my heart. This is what it wanted. He reached up and touched my hand, and gave me a shy smile.

“I think I’ve got it, Kanao,” he chuckled, still red as a beet.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, but thank you.”

I waited patiently for him as he put his shirt back on. He fumbled a lot with one arm, but if he said he didn’t need help, I wasn’t going to interfere. I was worried that he might not want to hold my hand after that, but he still did. Then, when we got back to our rooms, he kissed me before he went inside. If anything, the moment only made me feel more connected to him. What greater connection was there than love? I knew he wasn’t angry. I would’ve been able to tell. The very next day of that visit, he was actually very affectionate. He flirted more. It was like we were breaking down each other’s barriers piece by piece. That was incredibly important if we were going to be living together.

On the last day of that visit, he asked me, “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

We were sitting in the courtyard. Sitting together was apparently our favorite activity. We migrated to wherever it was the shadiest.

“Yes, I am,” I answered.

“I’m glad.”

“Are Nezuko, Zenitsu, and Inosuke ready for us?”

“Inosuke asks every day when you and Aoi are coming. Nezuko reorganized her room. Everyone’s so excited.”

“It’s like we’re starting a family.”

Tanjiro suddenly turned his whole head to look at me. He seemed surprised by my choice of words. I thought about it for a minute, then I realized what a strong implication those words carried. He didn’t seem taken aback or startled by it, though. I just think it struck him. He knew just as well as I did where the rest of this road would take us.

“The six of us,” I clarified. “It’s like we’re starting a found family.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what it is,” he replied. “All under one roof.”

“I’m sure your parents and siblings would be happy that there is laughter in that home again,” I said to change the subject.

“I know they are. I’m just glad to call it my home again.”

“I’m happy to be part of your home, Tanjiro.”

I closed my fingers around his and he rubbed my hand with his thumb. I didn’t know why he was always so self-conscious of his rough hand. He was convinced it felt like sandpaper, but it really didn’t feel like that at all. If anything, his fingers and the palm of his hand were just very thick. He had the gentlest touch.

“I’m happy you can be part of it, too.”

He smiled. He had such kind eyes, and when he smiled, his eyes smiled along with him. Even the one that he couldn’t see out of, which was dull and discolored, remained kind. I loved when he looked at me like that. But, I was certain that he understood what I had referenced, even if I referenced it subconsciously. There was no way he wasn’t also thinking it himself. Besides Aoi, I didn’t have any family left. Kanae and Shinobu were not my real sisters, but they rescued me and were the first people to ever treat me like a human being. Many of my memories from my early childhood were blacked out, probably permanently. That was all right with me, though. I didn’t want to remember. My biological family lived in poverty, treated me like I was merely an object, and sold me. They never even gave me a name. Kanae picked out “Kanao” based on her own and I chose my last name, “Tsuyuri,” from a list of suggestions Shinobu compiled for me. If it weren’t for Kanae and Shinobu, I might still be living in poverty being treated like an object. I would never have known Tanjiro, the love of my life. To think about a potential life without him, without his warmth and the happiness he brought me, was just… well, I couldn’t do it. I intended to lean on his shoulder, but I missed and my head fell right into his lap. That made him chuckle. Tanjiro wasn’t going to say it. I was not going to rush him. But, soon, he would be my family. And, the blessings would only multiply from there.

On the day that we were finally ready to move, Aoi wouldn’t come out of her room. All of our belongings were already gone, and had been for several days. Tanjiro took some of mine with him when he left after his last visit, and then we sent the rest away in a car. Aoi had been upset that we had hired a car for that. She didn’t like the times changing, or at least that’s what she kept going on about.

“The Demon Slayer Corps always travel by foot,” she had scoffed.

“There are no Demon Slayer Corps anymore, Aoi.”

The whole adventure was new to Aoi, as she hadn’t been anywhere except the Butterfly Mansion in years. As it turned out, we were making the journey ourselves on foot. I stood now in her doorway, waiting patiently.

“Just so you know,” she said weakly. “I got sick last night, a couple times.”

“Because you’re nervous?”

“Yes.”

She was kneeling in the middle of her floor. I could tell she had been crying, too. I went up to her, kneeled myself, and wrapped my arms around her.

“Oh, thank you, Kanao.”

“You don’t have to worry so much, Aoi,” I assured her.

“I know,” she replied. “It’s a habit.”

“Won’t seeing Inosuke every day make you happy?”

“It will,” she sniffled. “I just… have such an attachment to this place.”

“Do you want to come with me to visit Kanae and Shinobu?” I asked.

“Yes,” Aoi answered. “It’s… not the last time we’ll ever see them… not for good, right?”

“No, of course not. There will be opportunities to come back.”

It took a few more moments to get Aoi ready, but eventually she stood up, put on her backpack, and headed out with me. At Shinobu and Kanae’s grave, we both prayed and said our goodbyes quietly. I let them know how happy I was to be moving in with my true love, and that I hoped they were both proud of me and would watch over my journey forward. Aoi cried heartily at one point. I also got teary. I felt freedom, but it was bittersweet. I thought about how Kanae would have loved Tanjiro. When Aoi was done crying, I turned and patted her on the back. She was my best friend, and always had been. I still remembered her aggressively trying to convince me to choose “Kanzaki” off of Shinobu’s list so that we could be sisters. I was still not sure why I picked “Tsuyuri.” I knew she’d be all right, but she was rough around the edges. She wasn’t the type who liked to share anything personal. But, when she was ready, I took her hand and helped her up. Tanjiro had taught me how to express myself. As it turned out, I was a much more gentle person than I thought I was.

Soon after, Aoi and I were on the road. The trip took longer than Tanjiro told us it would, but he also walked very fast. I often had to keep up with his stride. He walked slower when he was holding my hand. He probably finished this trip in record time. Aoi and I talked about many things on our trip, mostly about what Tanjiro had told me to expect about his village. However, on the last day, when we were finally approaching Tanjiro’s village, Aoi and I got hopelessly lost. We had lost sight of my crow.

“I knew that he lived in the mountains, but I didn’t think his house was so far away from the rest of the village,” I said to myself as I sat down on a rock to catch my breath.

Aoi was flustered. “Where’s your crow?!?! It was supposed to be leading us in the right direction!”

“It will come back.”

Aoi huffed and sat down next to me. I started poking around in my backpack. I turned my back to Aoi. She continued to look into the sky for my crow, but she noticed what I was doing, anyway.

“Kanao, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

“Do you need something out of your backpack?”

“I’m just double checking that something is there.”

Aoi raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, I saw her face turn white as a sheet when she saw one particular pocket of my backpack move.

“Don’t tell me… did you… bring Kaburamaru?!?!” Aoi shrieked.

Karabumaru’s white head popped out of my backpack pocket. He was hard to conceal. I was surprised Aoi had only just noticed. He flicked his tongue at Aoi in dissatisfaction.

“I couldn’t leave him,” I explained. “He’s too intelligent. He would have known if I left without him, and he already lost his owner once.”

“I cannot believe you brought a snake with you! And, you didn’t tell anyone!” Aoi went on. “Do you think everyone else is going to be okay with that?”

“Tanjiro is. I asked him.”

“But, you know he’s not the only one who gets to make decisions!” Aoi put her hands on her hips. “Where are you going to keep Kaburamaru, hm?”


“I figured that I could keep him within the grounds.”

Aoi heaved an exasperated sigh. “Well, I’m not getting any more lost. Until your crow decides to come back, I’m going to stay right here.”

She plopped down next to me with another “hmph.” I knew my crow would come back. I breathed in the fresh mountain air. Everything was green and warm all around us. The leaves on some trees were starting to turn. It was so peaceful. It was late afternoon. I was a little hungry, but we had finished all our snacks. The happy butterflies in my stomach were more prominent than my hunger, though. After a few more minutes, we heard wingbeats. My crow was back.

“Here we are,” Aoi huffed.

Then we heard the footsteps following behind. One set was hard and heavy, and the other was light and soft. The latter was unmistakably Tanjiro. I brightened and stood up.

My crow called out, “Kaw! Brought friends!”

Tanjiro and Inosuke came into view. Inosuke was not wearing his boar hide, a rarity. But, I noticed he was also wearing a shirt, with the same checkered pattern as Tanjiro’s. His was gray instead of green. He looked like he had groomed himself up a bit. His hair was neater. He was nervously fidgeting with his hands, and Tanjiro looked like he was reassuring him. Inosuke must have gotten dressed up for Aoi. I smiled. I thought that was adorable.

“Hey, there!” Tanjiro called when he saw us.

I skipped over and planted a peck on his cheek. We had previously talked about not being too intimate in front of our other friends. Tanjiro had been telling me about Nezuko and Zenitsu becoming a little too “casual” around the house.

“I had to politely ask them to get out of the kitchen so we could cook dinner,” he had said with a groan. “It took four times for them to acknowledge me.”

“Let’s be discreet,” I had replied.

“Yes, that’s a good idea.”

Now, standing there, he squeezed my palm as if to say, I’ll kiss you back later. I squeezed back to show I agreed. Meanwhile, we watched Inosuke shyly shuffle up to Aoi.

“Um, hi,” Inosuke said, struggling to maintain eye contact.

“Inosuke…”

“H-How are you?” Inosuke muttered. “Was the trip okay?”

“We got lost, but it was all right,” Aoi replied. “Thanks for asking.”

I leaned in towards Tanjiro’s ear. “Did you tell him to get dressed?”

“Actually,” Tanjiro whispered back. “This was his idea.”

“That is so cute.”

Aoi and Inosuke awkwardly mumbled to each other a few more things. Inosuke couldn’t stand still and Aoi stood as still as a statue. Finally, Inosuke turned and showed Aoi the path that he had come down.

“Uh, right this way, Miss Aoi,” he said with a fidgety bow.

“Thank you,” was all that Aoi replied.

Aoi led the way down the path. Inosuke sort of hovered next to her, continuing to play with his fingers and scratch his head. Tanjiro and I followed a ways behind them, hand in hand. When I was certain that Aoi and Inosuke couldn’t hear me, I turned to Tanjiro and asked him if he could tell what Aoi was thinking.

“It’s hard to say,” he replied. “But, I think she smells happy.”

“That’s good,” I said. “Inosuke did such a good job. I’m proud of him.”

“I am, too. Although, he’s only passive right now because he head butted trees for an hour before you got here.”

I chuckled. “They’ll be all right. Just give them time.”

When we got to Tanjiro’s house, Zenitsu and Nezuko welcomed us with open arms and then surprised us with a huge meal. We talked and joked for a long time, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. It was like we had all been this way forever, not just a day. Even Aoi started to open up a little. Inosuke poured her a cup of tea with shaky hands, but she held the cup steady for him.

She sipped it, then smiled. “It’s delicious!”

“I MADE IT!” Inosuke boasted happily.

Tanjiro leaned toward me again and whispered, “He actually did.”

Then, Nezuko showed us to her room, helped us reorganize the extra floor beds to our liking, and helped us put away some of our belongings.

“You see, Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Inosuke shared a room at first, but Tanjiro and Zenitsu got annoyed with Inosuke’s snoring and kicked him out,” Nezuko giggled. “Then, Zenitsu demanded his own room because Tanjiro would stay up later than him and leave his light on. We had to do a lot of renovations on the house to give everyone their own room, but we’ve made it work. So, you guys might get your own rooms eventually.”

“That’s all right,” Aoi said. “This is fine. Besides, I’m not really the type that’s bothered by noise when I sleep.”

There was a brief silence as Nezuko and I tried to figure out what Aoi meant by that. She didn’t elaborate on it, though.

Before I went to bed that night, I secretly took Kaburamaru out of my backpack and let him out in the garden. He swiveled his head back and forth to get a good look of the house and area, then slithered away.

“You don’t think he’ll go off on his own?”

I turned around to see Tanjiro behind me.

“No, he knows the house now,” I said. “He’ll come back. He’s very smart, you know.”

“Yes, he is,” Tanjiro replied.

He knelt down next to me. It was getting colder at night now, but he seemed right in his element in the mountain air. The altitude and cold was certainly something I would have to get used to, but I was sure it wouldn’t take me long.

“Nezuko planted this garden herself,” he went on. “It’s her pride and joy. When I told her you were going to bring Kaburamaru, she was all right with it because she thought he’d catch the mice that sometimes chew through her plants.”

“I’m sure I can train him for that,” I replied. “And, did she plant the flowers out by the side of the house, too?”

“No, they grew by themselves,” Tanjiro said. “That’s where my family is buried.”

We were quiet for a minute. He still had trouble talking about his family. He had told me all his deceased siblings’ names and how old each of them were when they died, but it had made him cry. Other than the story of the attack, he hadn’t shared much.

After a minute, I said, “Tanjiro, would it be okay if I introduced myself to your family in the morning? I’m too tired now, but, I’d love to meet them.”

“Of course you can,” he replied with a smile. “They would have loved you.”

He ran his fingers gently through my bangs. I smiled back at him. Then, he put his head on my shoulder for a change. I could tell he was tired, too.

“I am so happy you’re finally here,” he said.

“I am, too,” I replied. “You can go to bed if you’re too tired, you know.”

“Not without saying goodnight to my girlfriend.”

I thought about how we’d be able to tell each other “goodnight” every night now. It was a wonderful first day of living together. It was the first of many wonderful days. I knew that there was a time limit to the number of those days, but, somehow, I didn’t think they were as finite as Tanjiro thought they were. I knew all about the curse, and when we had first started dating, he had said, Kanao, I want to be with you… but you know I’m going to die, right? He was more afraid of it than he let on. But, in this moment, the curse didn’t matter. I reached up and fingered his hair, too. I realized that he had fallen asleep on me like that. He was always so gentle. It made my heart swell. I was also more afraid of his curse than I let on, and I prayed every night that some miracle would allow him to live. I knew that the gods probably couldn’t do much about it, though. What I always told him was true. Losing him was better than never loving him at all. If he was really going to die at twenty-five, then I was going to love him to pieces every day until it happened. However, there was one thought that I couldn’t shake from my head. I only allowed myself to entertain this thought for one minute per day, because it was still so far forward in the future. Still, I took my chance now as I stroked his soft, beautiful hair - he was going to be a wonderful father, and I didn’t want the curse to interfere with that.

Chapter Text

A Day in the Village

The next morning, before Tanjiro was even awake, I went to meet his family. At first, I had no idea what to say to them, so I just knelt on the ground looking at the flowers. They were reddish-maroon in color, like Tanjiro’s hair. For a minute, I struggled to remember his siblings’ names. I supposed I didn’t have to, but it felt so informal. I cleared my throat.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kamado family,” I said. “My name is Kanao. I’m going to live here now, with Tanjiro.”

It all felt wrong. I sighed. There were still times when I would get emotionally blocked, even after all my hard work on myself. I didn’t know what else to say. I thought of telling them about myself, or about how Tanjiro and I met, but maybe Tanjiro already told them all of that. I probably should have waited until he woke up to meet them. I opened my mouth and closed it many times.

“I am very honored to be part of your family,” I said and managed a bow. “I look forward to many happy days here.”

There was a warm breeze. I took that as a sign of approval. For a moment, I thought I felt a hand on my shoulder. Assuming it was Tanjiro, I turned around. However, there was nothing, and then the touch I felt disappeared. The dawn was still only breaking. I had gotten up much earlier than I realized. I was wide awake now, though, so I simply went back in the house and made some tea.

Their house was still only lightly furnished, but it looked like a home. Tanjiro had told me that for a long time there was almost nothing, and his whole family - all eight of them - slept on the floor in one room together. The house was also a lot smaller then. He had also grown up poor, although not poverty-stricken like me, and they struggled just to afford food sometimes. Now that everyone in the house had jobs and they were all getting pensions from Kiriya, they were better off. I still didn’t need much to be happy. As long as we all had each other, that was enough. I sat on the couch with my tea and thought about what I could do as well. I remembered that I still had my sewing, but it was back in the room and I didn’t want to wake up Nezuko and Aoi. So, I quietly walked around the room and looked at everything closely. It all had a warm, homey feel to it. It was peaceful. We had all fought so hard for peace. I wondered if Tanjiro had pictures of his family, but I didn’t want to search. That would’ve been rude. So, instead, I just sat back on the couch and thought about everything. I heard a door open around the hall. I hoped it was Tanjiro. It was actually Nezuko.

“You’re up early!” she exclaimed quietly.

“I was just introducing myself to your family,” I replied.

“Did you feel any warm breezes while you were talking to them?”

“Actually… yes.”

Nezuko smiled. “That’s how you know they heard you. It gets breezy all the way up here most of the year, but if the breeze is warm, even in the winter, it’s them.”

“I will remember that.”

She sat down next to me on the couch. “So, what do you think?”

“Of what?”

“Of our home!”

“It’s all very lovely,” I said. “I’m so happy to be here.”

“I’m happy you’re here, too! I’m glad you’re part of my family now, Kanao. I’m glad Aoi is here, too. When I heard she was coming, I was really surprised, but I’ve never seen Inosuke so happy before. Did you see how cute he was yesterday? My heart melted!”

There was another shuffling from around the corner. Zenitsu poked his blonde head out.

“Good morning, my dear,” he chimed.

“Oh, honey, did I wake you up?”

“Just a little, but I don’t mind,” he giggled. “Can I get you lovely ladies something to eat before breakfast?”

“I’m all right with my tea,” I replied.

“Can you fry me some dumplings?” Nezuko said.

“Dumplings for breakfast?” Zenitsu laughed. “Sweetie, you are so silly!”

“Well, I didn’t eat anything for several years!” Nezuko laughed back. “I still get cravings for all my favorites at really random times.”

“Of course, love!”

“Thank you so much, honey!”

I swallowed my tea very slowly because I thought that I might choke on it. Tanjiro really wasn’t exaggerating with the… pet names… that Zenitsu and Nezuko called each other. Still, it made me happy to see other people so happily in love, too. We had all earned our right to be silly in love. Eventually, the smell of dumplings frying woke everybody else up. Inosuke walked right into Aoi while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He became flustered and started to panic, but Aoi wasn’t annoyed or angry.

“G-Good morning!” Inosuke stammered.

His hand flew to his forehead and he actually saluted her.

“Did you sleep all right?” she asked him.

“Uh… YES! I DID! Thank you for asking!”

Aoi cracked a smile. I smiled watching them. Everyone deserved to fall in love. I truly believed that.

When Tanjiro woke up, he asked why we were having dumplings for breakfast. Zenitsu very cheerfully explained that Nezuko had personally requested it. Tanjiro simply smiled and said that it was a special occasion because it was our first full day all together. And so, Zenitsu fried up even more dumplings and we had a very grand breakfast. The six of us were certainly an unorthodox family, but we liked it that way. At the breakfast table, Nezuko and I shared sides with our respective boyfriends, leaving Inosuke and Aoi two options - sit at opposite sides or sit at the same side together. We all waited patiently to see what would happen. Inosuke sat down first. Aoi came to the table last. Without hesitation or debate, she sat right down next to Inosuke. We all knew he was beaming underneath his boar hide.

On the second day, I accompanied Tanjiro to the village. We walked down the mountain together and he told me what to expect that day.

“My boss, Mr. Takeda, knows that this week is important for me, so he let me have a few days off,” he explained. “However, that ends tomorrow. So, I just want to make sure you know when I’m not going to be home.”

Our relationship was already so serious. But, it didn’t feel like we were rushing anything at all. It was all happening at the perfect pace for the two of us.

“I’ll introduce you to the villagers,” he continued. “There are certain shops you should probably know about, in case you ever need anything.”

“All right.”

“Just so you know, though,” Tanjiro rubbed the back of his neck and blushed a little. “The entire village knows about mine and Nezuko’s story. The children treat me like I’m some kind of storybook hero.”

I giggled. “You’re a very popular guy, Tanjiro.”

“I still find it really embarrassing, so just don’t encourage anyone if they do that. And… they probably will.”

“Okay.”

It didn’t take long to descend the mountain. When we got to the bottom, we could see the village. Tanjiro told me it had grown in size significantly while he was gone, but it seemed to be a normal size to me. It was charming. We walked through the streets together and Tanjiro pointed out the council building, the market vendors, and other important sites. Wherever he went, the villagers perked up and beamed as soon as they saw him, calling out to him excitedly. He always waved back and was polite, but I could tell that it made him a little uncomfortable. He muttered to me that the village all knew and respected him as their charcoal seller long before his journey, but he didn’t want to be popular for being a demon slayer because the villagers were completely unaware of all the pain and hardship he endured.

“I’m not a hero,” he whispered. “I just want to live a peaceful life now. And, no one here knows about my… time limit, so don’t tell anyone.”

“Of course not, Tanjiro.”

“Thanks.”

At every stop we took, Tanjiro simply introduced me as “Kanao.” He didn’t tell them I was his girlfriend, but many of them figured that out immediately. We took a pause because he had to use the bathroom, so he quickly darted into the village tavern. As I was waiting for him, I simply stood outside and walked closer to the buildings for a better look. Normally, once I had seen something up close once, I never forgot what it looked like. I heard footsteps approaching me, and I looked up. I saw a guy older than me, probably in his early twenties.

“Hello,” he said. “Are you new to this village?”

“Um, yes,” I replied. “My name’s Kanao Tsuyuri, and I…”

“Well, Ms. Tsuyuri,” the guy cut me off. “Do you find our buildings very interesting?”

“Actually, I just need to look closely at things to remember them.”

“If you want, I can give you a tour,” the guy said, coming even closer.

“I’m already getting a tour,” I explained, now getting nervous. “From my…”

“Oh, but any village guide won’t show you the really interesting places to see,” the guy pressed on. “When you’re done with that, you should come back to me.”

I was ready to slay this guy, but I tried to stay collected.

“I really don’t…”

“Hideki?”

The guy whirled around. Tanjiro was staring at him intensely. A strange glint was in his eyes, and he was clearly not happy. I had only heard about Tanjiro’s infamous “death glare.” I guessed this was what it looked like. It was something to behold, that was for sure. The guy looked greatly perturbed.

“Oh, hey, Tanjiro,” the guy, apparently named Hideki, stammered. “Have you met this young lady yet? I was just showing her around…”

“Hideki.” Tanjiro’s voice lowered. “Step away from my girlfriend.”

Hideki seemed to jump ten feet in the air. “Huh?!?! This girl is your girlfriend?!?!”

“Yes, now please leave her alone before I hit you.”

“Oh, of course!” Hideki fumbled and then stepped away from us. “You’re not that little kid we used to know anymore, Tanjiro, haha. Why should I have thought any less?”

Hideki shuffled away awkwardly and then basically sprinted. Tanjiro was actually very intense when he was angry! I of course knew that he was fierce in battle, but now I realized that he carried some of it with him already.

“Don’t listen to that guy,” Tanjiro explained. “He hits on all the girls. At least now he knows who you are.”

“He knows who he’s dealing with.”

Tanjiro turned to me and chuckled. “Yes, because if that threat from me didn’t work, I know that you’ll do much worse.”

“That’s right,” I replied cheerfully.

He gave me a sly, playful look and then stuck his elbow out to me. He wanted me to take his arm. I gave him the same look back.

“Do you want to be… obviously a couple right now?” I asked him.

“Just this once,” he replied.

I happily put my arm in his and we showed ourselves off the rest of the way. The two of us practically marched back down the street like that. An hour ago, he didn’t want any attention at all. Or, rather, he didn’t want celebrity attention. Proudly being with me was different. There was something about it I found very attractive. He was just so happy about me. As soon as we were done with the village tour and outside the limits, we wrapped our arms around each other, kissed lovingly, and couldn’t stop laughing. Then, we kissed again. We couldn’t take our hands, or lips, off of each other. It felt so good. Everyone else he introduced me to was very kind to me. It had only been two days, and I already felt like I belonged. We walked back up the mountain and talked about random, meaningless things. We occasionally stopped to kiss again or to keep laughing our heads off. I had never laughed before I knew him, at all.

When we reached the house again, we saw Zenitsu and Nezuko crouched by one of the walls. They were watching something intently around the corner. Tanjiro and I approached them curiously and quietly. Zenitsu heard us quickly.

“Guys,” he whispered. “Don’t make it obvious.”

“What’s happening?” Tanjiro whispered back.

“Look around the corner.”

I craned my neck and looked over Nezuko’s head. Inosuke was fervently rummaging in a patch of vibrant wildflowers, pulling out the biggest and most beautiful.

“Aoi’s in the bathroom,” Nezuko explained. “Inosuke left a note right outside the door. This is so adorable, I can’t take it!”

Once Inosuke had found all the flowers to his liking, he faced the back door, sat down on the ground cross-legged, and waited. I could tell the anticipation was eating at him.

“No way,” Tanjiro whispered. “What is he doing?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” replied Zenitsu.

In just a few moments, we heard Aoi’s voice from inside the house.

“What is this? I can barely read this! All I can make out is ‘outside.’”

She marched through the open back door with a huff, still looking down at the note. She glanced up over the paper and was startled when she saw Inosuke sitting there.

“Um, Inosuke?” she asked. “Did… Did you write this?”

Inosuke sat rigidly in place. I could tell he was gathering his strength. Zenitsu mentioned that he could hear him breathing heavily underneath his boar hide.

“What’s going on?” Aoi asked again. “Are… those flowers for me?”

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Inosuke stood up. With one hand, he moved the boar hide back. He cleared his throat. He was trying his absolute hardest to be proper.

“Um, yes, Miss Aoi,” he said slowly. “These flowers are for you.”

Aoi clasped her hands together and held them close to her chest. I had never seen her so moved. The four of us held our breaths.

“Y-You see, Miss Aoi…”

“You don’t need to call me ‘Miss’ anymore.”

There was another pause. It was so intense that I found myself tightly gripping Tanjiro’s hand. Instinctively, he gripped me back. Then, all of a sudden, Inosuke couldn’t take it anymore. He took a huge inhale.

“I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LIKE YOU, MISS AOI!” he shouted. “WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?”

Everyone had a different reaction. Zenitsu’s jaw dropped, Nezuko’s hands flew straight to her mouth, I gasped, and Tanjiro blinked several times in disbelief. But, none of us had a better reaction than Aoi, who stood there on the back step with wide eyes. Inosuke was hanging on for her reaction with arms outstretched, offering her the bouquet. Then, to everyone’s amazement, Aoi broke into a huge grin.

“Yes.”

Tanjiro and I held each other tighter. Zenitsu’s jaw dropped lower. I thought Nezuko was going to faint.

“Wait…” Inosuke started. “REALLY?!?!”


“Yes,” Aoi repeated.

“OH, SWEET!!!”

We all watched in amazement as Aoi took the bouquet from Inosuke’s excitedly vibrating hands. As soon as she had received them, Inosuke broke into the happiest dance I had ever seen. He jumped for absolute joy. I thought for sure he was going to cry.

“THIS IS AWESOME!!!” Inosuke cheered on. “OOH, OOH! I KNOW! LET’S GO FOR A HIKE FIRST!!! LET’S GO FISHING!!! I CAN CATCH THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS NOW!!! YOU’LL THINK IT’S TOTALLY COOL!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Tanjiro chuckled, “And, he’s back.”

“You guys are hearing this, right?” Zenitsu asked incredulously. “She said yes!”

“You’d know better than us,” I laughed.

“I can’t believe it!” Nezuko was actually the one who was crying. “Our Inosuke! I’m so happy for him!”

Inosuke continued to jump and dance around for several more minutes. Aoi stood there, holding the bouquet close, watching every move he made. From the distance I was from her, it was impossible to read her expression, but I could read her posture. She was relaxed, and she was cherishing her flowers. In our corner, Nezuko plopped her head on Zenitsu’s shoulder to cry happy tears quietly. He probably would have responded with enthusiasm to hold her and stroke her hair, but he was still too bewildered. With my free hand, I moved my fingers to my mouth to hide my chuckling.

“He’s going to be doing that for several hours,” Tanjiro laughed. “Let’s go in.”

“We can’t just leave the two of them here!” Zenitsu exclaimed.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well, uh, we should at least wait until Aoi goes back inside,” said Zenitsu.

“Nah,” Tanjiro said. “Let’s give them their privacy.”

We left them like that. As we walked away, I could still hear Inosuke’s joyous cheering. I was sure Aoi hadn’t moved an inch, and she was still watching him with amusement. After all, taking your eyes off your true love wasn’t easy.

That night at dinner, both Inosuke and Aoi had finally relaxed around each other, and around the rest of us, too. There was such happiness present at that meal, so many jokes, so much ease. Later, as everyone was getting ready for bed, I wandered out by the flower bed again. This time, I knelt and prayed properly. I had something to talk to them about now. I told them about going down to the village. I told them how I felt like I belonged on this mountain, in this house, and the words just kept flowing and flowing.

“Kie,” I said, remembering Tanjiro’s mother’s name. “You raised an absolutely wonderful son. In so many ways, he saved my life. I’m sure he probably told you that I saved his, but he saved mine, too. I wish that I could tell you every last thing that I love about him, but it might take the entire month! I just want you to know that I adore him, and I know that I would have adored all of you, too.”

I paused to catch my breath. I couldn’t believe I was so chatty. But, so many connections had been made today. They probably heard us laughing hysterically at dinner. I waited for the warm breeze that Nezuko was talking about. I was waiting for confirmation. I didn’t feel any breeze, though. Maybe they were waiting for me to say more, but I was all out of words. Should I have started listing the things I loved about Tanjiro after all? Well, it would take a while, but they were probably curious. But, I didn’t know where to start! There were just too many things. Instead, I tried to remember his siblings’ names.

“Takeo,” I started. “You were ten. Then next was Hanako. You were eight.”

I knew those two for sure. It was his final two siblings I had trouble with. I racked my brain for a minute, then they finally came to me.

“The fifth child was Shigeru. You were six. And, then youngest of all was Rokuta. You were only four.”

“Three.”

I turned around and saw Tanjiro sitting in the doorway, watching me.

“He had just turned three.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you.” He stood up and walked toward me. “I wasn’t sitting there for too long. Aoi was looking for you. I told her I’d come find you.”

“What was your father’s name?” I asked him.

“Tanjuro.”

“So, you’re named after him.”

“He wasn’t killed in the attack,” Tanjiro explained. “He was born sickly. He died about a year before it all happened.”

“I see.”

We subconsciously laced our fingers together. Our hands just didn’t want to be apart.

“What did Aoi need me for?”

“She said she just wanted to talk to you about something,” Tanjiro answered. “My guess is she wants to talk to you about Inosuke, but I didn’t pry.”

“It’s so wonderful for them,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

“It is,” he agreed with a sad smile.

“Are you all right?”

“I still miss my family more than I tell people,” he replied. “Even Nezuko. I’m just glad that you’re opening up to them, now that you’re a part of it.”

I felt the warm breeze then, on the back of my neck.

“Do you want to be alone with them, too?”

“Yes,” he replied. “So, I’m saying goodnight now.”

“All right,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He kissed my cheek, we reluctantly let go of each other’s hands, and I went back inside the house. I found Aoi in our room. Nezuko was absent, and Aoi hastily explained that she didn’t know where Nezuko was and that she had to tell me quickly before she got back. So, Aoi and I sat down our beds, and she rattled off the afternoon’s encounter from her perspective. There was apparently a lot more that she and Inosuke said to each other after the rest of us left, and she clearly had no idea we had been observing. I had never seen her so animated. And, I had never seen her smile so much.

“I can’t even begin to explain it,” she finally concluded. “I mean, he’s a wacko that wears a boar’s hide on his head and walks around shirtless, and he can’t sit still and is obsessed with his own strength. So, why do I find that oddly attractive?”

I laughed. “The heart doesn’t always need a reason, Aoi. Love is love.”

“I never thought I’d ever feel this way.”

“Neither did I.”

That night, I did not fall asleep right away. I was on the far end of the floor. Aoi slept on the left, Nezuko in the middle, and I was on the right. I didn’t mind the room situation at all. The two of them were sound asleep. Nezuko slept like a stone. I remembered clearly that her greatest power as a demon was sleeping, so I was not surprised to see her sleep like that. It was not that I couldn’t sleep. I was actually at peace. I just wasn’t tired. I thought about how family was so important to Tanjiro. I still hadn’t told him about my abusive parents. He just knew that Kanae and Shinobu rescued me from a “bad situation.” I lost Kanae and Shinobu. But, I had new sisters now, lying next to me. Everything about today had been wonderful. I sighed and closed my eyes. I knew that I would only have peaceful dreams.

And, in that dream, I felt a warm breeze. It was like the warm breeze from out by the red flowers. I could only see a shape, but the shape was very solid. It was the shape of a child, and he stood in front of the red flowers. There were two hands on either of his shoulders. On the right, I knew it was my own hand. The hand on the child’s left shoulder was thick and scarred. I couldn’t see any details on the child, but I could see the details on his father’s hand. I knew what I was dreaming. The flowers symbolized the past, the child was the future, and the parents were the present. There were no sounds at all in the dream, there was only this image. I turned my head in the dream to look at the child’s father, but there was no image of a person. I saw a bright flash of sunlight. The dream was beginning to fade, but I wasn’t sad. Somehow, I knew I would see all of this again. Right before it disappeared, the warm breeze returned.

When I woke up the next morning, I was crying. Thankfully, Aoi and Nezuko were still asleep. I didn’t attempt to wipe the tears from my eyes. I knew it was only a dream, but I knew what it meant. I also knew it would be wise not to say anything about it. I could keep it to myself for a while. I tried to salvage as many details as I could before I forgot them. I remembered the shape of the child, and the colors. It was the colors that stood out to me. I told myself not to think too much about them, or about the dream in total, but there was one thing I definitely was not going to forget. It was the color of the child’s hair. It was red. Or, rather… it had red highlights.

Chapter Text

Our Future

The months came and went. We spent the winter eating and staying inside. On days when it wasn’t too cold, we made snowmen. We all watched the nights get longer and the sunsets paint the snow. It was all wonderful. I always ranked winter last on my list of favorite seasons, simply because it reminded me too much of my freezing cold childhood. But, this winter was different. On a very cold day in February, I was wandering around the house looking for Kaburamaru. He had made his own burrow in the garden now, but wasn’t in it. I’d lose him in the snow if I didn’t find him, and he was white, too. I shivered. I thought about calling out to him, although it would be pretty ridiculous. I was getting frustrated when I heard footsteps in the snow behind me. It was Tanjiro. He draped a blanket around my shoulders, even though I was wearing a heavy coat. I smiled at him.

“Hey, there. You look like you’re freezing,” he said.

“Hello. You’re not cold?”

“I am,” he said, pulling me in close. “Is this better?”

I sighed happily. “Yes.”

“You can come inside now,” he said.

“But, Kaburamaru…”

“Nezuko found him.”

“Oh, thank goodness.”

“Look at you, all bundled up. You look like a snowman.”

“If you’re cold, you should bundle, too.”

“That’s a good idea,” he laughed. “Let’s go inside.”

“Just wait one second,” I stopped him and squeezed his hand. “You came out here to tell me something. You wanted to tell me something other than that Nezuko found Kaburamaru.”

“Yes, I love you.”

He had something on his mind. It was like when we confessed our love under the victory tree. He always got like this when he was planning something around me. I had done it, too. Now that we had been together for so long, he wasn’t awkward or shy about it anymore. However, I knew he was clearly trying to set some kind of conversation up.

“I love you, too, but you know you can just tell me whatever it is you want to tell me.”

“Yes, I know,” he replied. “Besides, my face will puff up if I lie.”

We both laughed, and he pulled me in even closer. I was very warm now.

“Just be yourself, Tanjiro.” I leaned on his chest. “That’s who I fell in love with.”

He had gotten even taller, and I just reached his shoulder. He was probably done growing at this point, though. We would both turn eighteen later in the year. He kissed the top of my head. I knew he was building up to something. Because he didn’t believe in lying, he was not the greatest at hiding when he wanted to tell me something. I understood if he felt like he couldn’t yet, but I was going to start anticipating. I could hear his heartbeat. I squeezed both his hands, even if he could only feel one of them. I guessed I’d have to wait for whatever it was, but now I was aware.

The transition to spring was filled with lots of love. Aoi was teaching Inosuke how to cook more recipes. It was adorable how he hung on her every word. He was so proud of himself whenever it came out well. Even they were open about affection now. Their first kiss had been rather unorthodox. Inosuke simply asked Zenitsu and Tanjiro how to kiss a girl. When Aoi came home from work, she had barely called out that she was home when Inosuke just walked straight up and planted one on her. Aoi didn’t protest, however, and Zenitsu reported later that they were kissing more outside.

“Why are you spying on people?” Tanjiro had barked. “That’s really rude!”

“Didn’t you spy on them with us when he asked her out?” Zenitsu retorted.

Tanjiro simply put a bite of rice in his mouth and said nothing.

Aoi had taken over teaching Inosuke to read and write. He was getting much better. One night, he was reading the recipe book out loud while cooking with her. She was praising him and patting his hair. It was something to see.

“There’s only one thing, Inosuke,” she was saying.

“What is it?”

“You really should wear a shirt when you cook.”

“Nah, come on!” Inosuke cackled. “You know you like it!”

“It’s not about whether I like it, it’s about you getting burned, dear.”

“You like it, you like it, you like it!” Inosuke hugged and squeezed Aoi tightly. “Say you like my ripped abs!”

“Ino…SUKE!” Aoi snapped, but didn’t try to resist. “You know there’s an open flame on the stove, right?”

And, that was our lives now. We were all rapidly becoming adults. In March of that year, Tanjiro got promoted at the council office. Aoi had a job as a head doctor in the village. Zenitsu published his first volume of poems, under a pseudonym. He had started writing a book, but he hadn’t disclosed what it was about yet. Nezuko once told me that it was “based on a true story,” which could have meant a lot of things. Inosuke was still making charcoal, and he had become far more efficient with it than Tanjiro had ever been, apparently. To all of our surprise, Nezuko changed her mind about doing housework and decided she wanted to work for Aoi.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about all the work Lady Tamayo did for me,” she had explained. “I would still be a demon if it weren’t for her, and well, so much of our lives now just wouldn’t exist. I’m making this change because I want to give back to Lady Tamayo.”

I didn’t have a job. I had stitched all of my quilt squares into an actual quilt. The others asked me if I was going to sell it, but I told them I wasn’t. Every square was personal, and had to do with our journeys as demon slayers. But, they did have a point. I could turn my sewing into a trade if I wanted to. I had a secret idea in mind for the quilt I had already made, but I couldn’t tell anyone yet. I especially couldn’t tell Tanjiro. I was holding back from saying things, too, just as much as he was. The only difference was that he had too much determination. Holding back was hard for him. He had conditioned himself so much to act without hesitation as a fighter, but a relationship wasn’t that easy. I knew he was holding something inside. But, I had a feeling that it was probably good. That was at least what I kept telling myself. It had only ever been good in the past. He would never have restrained to tell me bad news… or would he? He was waiting for the perfect moment for something. I was desperate to know what.

Tanjiro and I had picnics by the river when we wanted to escape the noise of the house. In March of that year, it was still cold. But it was sunny and the snow was melting that day, so we took our chance. We brought warm food and tea.

“What do you think?” I asked him. “Should I turn quilting into a profession? I do want to contribute to the house, too.”

“I love your work,” he replied. “Whatever you decide to do, I support you.”

“I’m still not selling the one I made already,” I said.

“Oh, no,” Tanjiro agreed. “Definitely don’t sell that one.”

I thought for a minute. “I had a special idea for that quilt. I was thinking I could take it even further. I was going to make it into an actual bed.”

“Oh!” Tanjiro exclaimed. “That’s a great idea! For you?”

“Well, it’s not really for anyone yet.”

The “yet” made it not a lie. He wouldn’t smell it.

“You are incredibly good with your hands,” Tanjiro said. “I think you could turn anything into a craft. You could get a vendor’s space and sell them if you wanted to.”

“Hey, Tanjiro?”

He looked at me, his mouth full. It was like when we confessed our love. I couldn’t stand to keep it in anymore. I knew his resolve was the only thing keeping him from saying it himself. He always gave me the lead.

“I like it when you lead, too,” I finally spit out.

He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“You can ask me anything. I know that you’ve wanted to talk about it, and so have I,” I admitted. “What do you see in our future?”

“How far are we talking about?”

There were several layers to how he worded that. I knew one was the curse, and that was not what I wanted to talk about at the moment.

“What about the end of the year?”

I realized I was panting. He continued to look at me patiently. I knew what scents he was picking up. There was fear, frustration, maybe a hint of anger. It was all there. I was aware of what I was giving off..

“There’s no need to be afraid, Kanao,” he said softly. “Are you questioning whether we’ll still be together?”

“No, that’s not it.”

He put his arm around my shoulders, with a hint of hesitance.

“It’s true, I’ve been wondering about the future. I’ve been able to see it for a while, I just didn’t want to scare you.”

“I’m more scared not talking about it.”

“I’m not sure if we’re talking about the same thing.”

“What do you think I’m talking about?”

“Well, I thought you were concerned about where we’ll be in a year.” He sounded less sure now. “We’ve been together for over a year now, and you’re just worried if we’ll still feel this way over the course of time. I love you, Kanao, and I want to be with you for even longer.”

“No, I meant, what kind of relationship do you think we’ll have by the end of the year?”

“A happy, loving one, same as we do right now.”

There was no way I could word it correctly, and if I just spit it out bluntly, then I would scare him. Neither of us were very good at direct communication. I still struggled with saying my emotions sometimes. We were both so focused on being polite. Saying “I love you” for the first time took a lot out of us both. Sometimes I wished I could be more blunt, but there was no way I ever would be. The same went for him. He was honest, but he still beat around the bush when it came to talking about our relationship. That was one of the few things about him that I actually found very annoying.

I tried it one more time. “Where do you think we’ll be in our relationship in a year?”

“Oh, Kanao, I don’t have any intention of moving anywhere else.”

I resisted the urge to facepalm. Instead, I ended up just throwing my chopsticks down in annoyance. Tanjiro immediately pulled his arm off my shoulders and blinked at the chopsticks, then me, incredulously. He pulled back so quickly, his earrings rattled.

“What’s wrong?” He wasn’t angry, he was just concerned.

“Nothing,” I sighed and ran my hand through my bangs.

“I’ve never seen you get angry before,” Tanjiro mused. “But… I like it when you express yourself.”

I didn’t say anything. I just moved my hands to my lap and exhaled.

“You don’t smell like you’re, uh…” Tanjiro muttered under his breath.

“I don’t smell like what?”

I could tell that this wasn’t actually what he was going to say at first, because he blushed.

“You don’t smell like you’re, uh, sick.”

“Why would I be sick right now?”

“Kanao, I’m not sure what I said to make you mad, but I’m sorry for whatever it was. I do think about our future often, but there’s so much change going on with everyone in the house right now. It’s distracting and now I have more responsibilities at work, so if I’m not in a mental place to hear what you’re saying right now…”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, Tanjiro. I don’t even know if I’m in the mental place to say what I wanted to tell you, either.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” he assured me, his smile returning. “Nobody has to be ready all the time.”

There was a pause, and then I moved closer to him and took his hand. I also squeezed it for good measure. He squeezed back. Hand squeezes were like our secret code. We always knew exactly what they meant.

“Did we just get in our first argument?” Tanjiro said after a while.

I chuckled. “I guess we did.”

“That took a while.”

“I guess it was overdue?”

“Everyone gets in them,” he assured me.

“Tanjiro,” I said. “Promise me that we’ll never get into the arguments that involve yelling and hurting each other’s feelings.”

“I could never dream of it,” he replied softly. “That’s not how I would treat anyone I love, and especially not you.”

He leaned in and touched his forehead against mine. His head really was hard as a rock. I was not in the mood to embrace him, but he certainly was handsome. Now the wind was making his gorgeous hair dance… I cracked a smile. He smiled back. Even though I was frustrated, that didn’t mean I loved him any less. I couldn’t stay mad at him forever. However, now I knew that I couldn’t talk to him about what was eating at me just yet. It was not like I was going to directly ask him when he planned on doing it… but… I just thought it was important to have a plan in mind.

“Above all things,” he whispered. “I love you, Kanao Tsuyuri.”

“I love you, too.”

“Are you done with lunch?”

“Yes, I’m getting cold now.”

And, so, we packed up our lunch. We had finished all of it, anyway. We walked hand in hand back to the house, but we didn’t say anything. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but it still left me dissatisfied. Still, every few minutes, he squeezed my hand again. I finally cracked a smile and hummed, and he smiled back at me with his kind, red eyes. He knew very well that I wanted him forever. I knew he felt the same way about me. It was good that I was finally experiencing impatience. I returned his squeeze. There was a time when I never could have fathomed having the desire to just wrap myself up in someone else, nor did I know that such a desire even existed. It was truly amazing.

At the end of April, all the snow was gone, although both Nezuko and Tanjiro remarked that it was unusual that it was so warm. The guys took advantage of the early warmth and went swimming in the river one afternoon. Nezuko, Aoi, and I sat in the front doorway. I was teaching them how to sew. They both picked it up with ease, and I was impressed. I would have preferred to go swimming myself, but I knew the water was still probably too cold. The snow had only just melted, after all. I had no idea what the guys were thinking, but they also deserved alone time as guys - or as Aoi called it, their “idiot time.”

“What are you going to do with that quilt you already made, Kanao?” Aoi asked.

“I was going to turn it into a bed,” I replied.

“You think we need extra?”

“You never know.”

“I thought it wasn’t finished,” Nezuko chimed in. “You left the last square blank.”

“I’ll fill it in eventually. I just ran out of ideas for a pattern,” I said, undoing a stitch. “It’s meant to tell the story of our journey, with each square representing a different chapter. But, once I got to all of us living here, I realized there was one extra square. I haven’t decided what to put in it yet.”

“I have no idea what I’m making!” Nezuko said with glee. “It was supposed to be a doll, but then I realized I had no reason to be making a doll. I guess I’ll finish it, anyway, for the spirit of my sister Hanako. She had one doll that she loved, but it got lost after that night.”

“Who knows?” I said with a smile. “You might have use for it someday.”

“Yeah, maybe,” replied Nezuko, not looking up.

Suddenly, we heard voices coming up from over the ridge. It was the guys, and they were arguing about something. They were back earlier than they said they’d be. Each of them still had soaking wet hair. And, of course, my vision wasn’t what it used to be, but, it was obvious… they were all shirtless. Inosuke was almost always shirtless, so that wasn’t a surprise. He was missing his boar hide, that was the surprise. Once we noticed they were half-naked, Aoi, Nezuko, and I all blushed in unison.

“Why didn’t you warn us it was going to be freezing!” Zenitsu complained. “I still can’t feel certain parts of me, parts I need, you know?”

“I wasn’t counting on us getting swept away, okay?” I heard Tanjiro grumble.

“I don’t know what places you’re cold in, but man…” Inosuke proclaimed loudly. “I can’t feel my balls at all!”

“Shut up, you idiot!” Zenitsu panicked. “We’re all cold there, but you don’t go shouting things like that to the sky!”

“I THOUGHT WE WERE THE ONLY ONES ON THIS MOUNTAIN!”

“Please, both of you stop!” Tanjiro barked. “When we get back to the house, we can all take a hot bath.”

“One at a time!” Zenitsu interjected.

“Quit bringing up that I did that!” Inosuke whacked Zenitsu on the head.

They continued to argue amongst themselves, neither of them watching where they were going, until they got up to the house. Suddenly, Tanjiro, who was leading them, realized that the three of us were sitting there, staring at them. He came to an immediate halt. He blushed along with us. Zenitsu and Inosuke followed suit, both stopping short as well and blushing.

“Hey, uh, we forgot you three were still here,” Tanjiro said.

“Where would we have gone, brother?” Nezuko asked.

“Not sure,” he answered quickly.

I had seen Tanjiro this way once before, but I still found myself struggling to make eye contact. It could have been my imagination… but, he looked even better than he did that time. It wasn’t just the fitness of his body, it was that he was older. His hair was the same, his eyes were the same, and his face was the same. But, as a whole, he was maturing, and he was getting even more handsome. The fact that he was still embarrassed was charming, and I cracked a smile.

“The water was way too cold,” explained Tanjiro. “You guys made the right choice not to come with us. We even got swept away. So, it was not that fun, and we will not be going back in until it gets warmer.”

“Sounds good, brother,” Nezuko replied.

Apparently, only siblings didn’t find this embarrassing.

“Okay, carry on what you’re doing,” Tanjiro stammered.

The three of them walked briskly away, chattering quietly. There was a brief moment of silence. Nezuko craned her neck to watch them, and made sure that they were out of earshot. As soon as the coast was clear, she whipped back around towards me and Aoi with a huge grin and squealed in delight.

“Oooooh, ladies, we have some hot boyfriends!”

“I really thought Inosuke’s face would’ve changed more by now,” Aoi said quietly. “At least his eyes look less huge. But, yes… I… really do like that body of his.”

Nezuko and I hesitated. Aoi made a few more stitches, turned a darker shade of pink, and averted her gaze.

“But, don’t either of you DARE tell him I said that, okay?!?!”

“We won’t!” Nezuko giggled.

“I knew that Tanjiro and Inosuke still trained, but I wasn’t aware that Zenitsu did, too,” Aoi continued, still looking down.

“He didn’t at first, but I guess he got jealous and joined them,” Nezuko started giggling even harder. “I’m glad he did! I’ll tell him to do it more. Tee hee hee hee!”

We didn’t see the guys again until dinner. They were arguing among themselves, glaring at and poking each other. The three of them were inseparable, irreplaceable friends, and they had endured so much together. Now, they had the freedom to just be guys. I was happy for them. I was sure they were happy for me, Aoi, and Nezuko. Dinner was normal, like nothing happened. After dinner, however, when everyone else had left the table, Tanjiro stayed behind. I was afraid he was upset about something, so I stayed with him.

“Hey, Kanao,” he sighed. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Please, don’t be embarrassed about it.”

“Oh, I actually wasn’t going to talk about this afternoon,” he clarified. “I was referring to that argument we had last month.”

“Oh.”

“There has been something I’ve wanted to talk to you about our relationship. I just was very confused about it, and I wasn’t ready.”

“Is it… something bad?” I asked hesitantly.

“No, not at all,” he assured me, and touched my cheek. “It’s just that… I had to be sure of the reason why first.”

“We can talk it out.”

He smiled and gave me a long, loving look. He caressed my cheek with his thumb gingerly.

“Come with me,” he whispered.

“What are we doing?”

“Same thing we always used to do,” he said, and he took my hand. “We’re just going to take a walk.”

It was dark out now, but there wasn’t a cloud in the night sky. All the stars were visible. It was a beautiful night. First, Tanjiro led me around the back of the house. We walked down a path that he told me circled directly back. Our fingers were firmly laced together. To my surprise, he started by opening up about his parents.

“My father was born sick,” he said. “I think I’ve told you that once. He told my mother right when they met. They got married at nineteen because of it. He was twenty-one when I was born. Doctors told him he wouldn’t live to be thirty. He died at thirty-three. It wasn’t by much, but he survived longer than they said he would, against all odds. He was the greatest man I ever knew. I’m not trying to discredit any of the great teachers and comrades we knew in the Demon Slayer Corps, not by any means. But, I don’t think I ever could have survived my journey if it hadn’t been for my father. I know that he’s watching over me now, and he would be proud of me. I feel like I still need his approval, even if it’s spiritual, when it comes to big changes in my life. But, he would trust that I understood what I was doing, and he would support me. Of all of my family members, he would’ve loved you the most, Kanao.”

I listened intently to his every word. I didn’t interrupt him. I knew he wouldn’t make this connection out loud, but the story of his father’s illness sounded similar to his own situation with his curse. I wasn’t going to mention it, though.

“You know, I’ve learned to never hesitate,” he continued. “So, I’m not sure why, when it has come to the way I feel about you, I’ve been hesitant about some things. I was very nervous about telling you that I loved you. I was frustrated at myself for how I was holding it in. Nezuko told me that I shouldn’t move too fast, so I paced myself. But, it made me want to tear my hair out. Now everything is so natural between us, but I still didn’t want to scare you by moving too fast. You do understand that, right?”

“Yes, of course,” I replied. “I was never frustrated or scared by anything.”

“That’s good. I’m glad.”

We walked for a few minutes in silence. I wasn’t going to coax him. I waited for him to be ready to continue. I could tell that he was leading up to something that was going to be hard for him to say, but his grip on my hand was firm and his palms weren’t wet. He wasn’t nervous.

“I never imagined I would ever feel this way,” he whispered. “All I could think about for years was my journey. The Demon Slayer Corps was the last place I ever expected to find love. But, I can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather share my future with. I know you wanted to talk about our future. That time by the river just wasn’t the right place, and I’m sorry for making it difficult. I guess we were both caught off guard. Do you feel better here, Kanao? Am I making more sense of my words now?”

“Yes,” I said with a smile. “It’s like poetry.”

Tanjiro stopped and smiled back. We were almost back at the house now, and we could see it in the distance. We stopped right at the end of the path, between two trees. The moon was full and hanging directly over the house.

“Poetry, huh?”

“Yes, everything you’ve said has been beautiful.”

He moved in closer to me and put his hand on my face again. He leaned in close. I could see every detail on his face, from the light in his eyes to the intricate pattern on his earrings.

“Nothing is more beautiful than who I see in front of me right now,” he whispered. “And, no one else in the world has made me feel so incredible before.”

“I could say the same about you.”

He paused, then he took his hand off my face. He fished for something in his pocket. He suddenly had something in his hand. It looked like a pocket watch. I didn’t know he even owned a pocket watch, and I didn’t know why he needed one now.

“How long have you had that?” I asked him.

“I’ve had it for a while.”

I assumed it must’ve been an heirloom, or something personal he kept to himself.

“Oh,” I said. “Is it something that you…”

I suddenly caught my breath and froze. It wasn’t a pocket watch, it was a box. Before I had time to even think about what kind of box it was, he flicked the top of it open in one motion. I had to peer very closely at it in the moonlight to see what was inside of it. It wasn’t fancy. The band was a silver metal, but clearly not silver. The gem that sat on top of it was small and wasn’t a diamond. But, it didn’t matter to me what it was made out of. After a few minutes of staring at it, I finally inhaled and slowly brought my fingers to my mouth. I couldn’t speak. My heart was in my throat. I lifted my gaze to his face. He was smiling at me peacefully. He did not get down on one knee. Because he didn’t, I was still not entirely sure if it was all real. I waited for him to start talking again. He had been so eloquent before, I was expecting another big speech. Instead, he held it out to me closer, and leaned in again.

“I love you, Kanao Tsuyuri. Will you marry me?”

I would not ever be able to tell him how long I had been waiting for him to ask me that. Yes, I had tried to get him to allude to it. But, now that it was finally happening, I was rendered speechless. I took another sharp inhale. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I wasn’t even looking at the ring anymore. The ring was just the symbol. He could have proposed without it entirely. Tanjiro was the real thing. I found my voice returning now. At first it came out like a squeak, but finally, after several attempts, I told him.

“Yes.”

His smile began to stretch.

“Yes,” I said again, my strength returning. “YES!”

He placed the box in my hands, then pulled the ring out himself. His hand moved slowly, but it wasn’t awkward. It took a minute, but I held my hand out and stared in amazement as he slid it onto my finger. My heart was beating in a way I’d never felt before. This was what Kanae and Shinobu wished for me. Once, I felt no emotion at all. Now, in this moment, I couldn’t begin to comprehend the emotion I was feeling. I met Tanjiro’s eyes again. I promptly dropped the box on the ground and clapped my hands to his face. He held me so tightly, it felt like he was holding me with two arms. We had kissed so many times, but I had never tasted love like this on his lips before. I started crying, and I could feel some of his tears on my hands. The ring already felt like it had been on my finger for decades. I was sure the night would go on forever. I certainly didn’t want it to ever end.

Chapter Text

Funny Things Happen

I wished there had been some way to preserve everyone’s reactions when Kanao and I told them we were engaged. We couldn’t afford a camera. That was a shame, because the chaos that ensued was… memorable.

“WHAAAAAAAT?!?!” Zenitsu shrieked. “YOU TWO ARE GETTING MARRIED?!?! I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST!!!!”

“You’re telling us that this happened just last night?” Aoi exclaimed. “Were the rest of us asleep already?”

“I don’t get it,” said Inosuke. “Why’d he give her a ring?”

Nezuko was too busy sobbing into her hands to say anything.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TWO!!!!” Zenitsu continued, steam coming out of his ears. “YOU’RE BOTH ONLY SEVENTEEN! I’M OLDER THAN YOU! THIS IS SO NOT FAIR, SO NOT FAIR! DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE GOING TO GET EVEN MORE WIVES LIKE THAT IRRITATING SOUND HASHIRA GUY!”

“Zenitsu, stop!” I exclaimed. “We’ll both be eighteen when we get married. And, no, I’m not going to have three wives like Mr. Uzui. Kanao is the only woman I want to be with.”

“Hello, is anyone listening?” Inosuke growled. “No one is telling me what the whole ring thing is about!”

“Well, dear,” explained Aoi. “Buying a ring is a symbolic gesture that men do when they want a woman to marry them. It represents togetherness.”

Inosuke stared at her with vacant eyes. “Huh?”

Nezuko kept sobbing while Zenitsu scrambled around on the floor for something. Kanao and I knelt in front of them with our hands clasped together. I could feel her ring against my own finger. I still was incredulous that it was actually there. Everything about last night replayed over and over again in my brain. I still couldn’t believe that I had actually stayed so composed. On the inside, I had thought I was going to faint several times.

“We were thinking of getting married in the fall,” Kanao chimed in. “We’re not sure if it will be here or at the Butterfly Mansion yet, but we’re giving ourselves plenty of time.”

“I… I am just so moved,” Nezuko finally managed, still not looking up from her hands. “What you two have is so beautiful. My heart is bursting for you, brother! And, Kanao, you and I finally get to be sisters!”

“THERE!” Zenitsu exclaimed triumphantly, raising his hand to the rest of us.

“Um, Zenitsu, what is that?” I asked.

He had found string on the ground and fashioned it into a ring. He shuffled gingerly up to Nezuko, who finally looked up.

“Oh, my hun,” Zenitsu said in a baby voice. “Why don’t we get married, too? I made this ring for you!”

“Sweetie, now’s not the time for this.”

Steam was starting to come out of my ears, too, but Kanao squeezed my hand. I looked at her. She lightly shook her head “no.” I understood, but Zenitsu was really starting to annoy me. I took a deep breath and composed myself.

“I had been thinking about this for a long time,” I said. “I’ve never been more sure about anything else in my life. The only thing I need to mention is that we won’t be moving out of this house. We simply can’t afford it. We’ve all lived in this house together for nearly two years, and I hope this doesn’t change anything…”

“No, of course not,” Aoi replied with a big smile. “Just because you two will be married won’t make us any less of a family.”

Kanao beamed. “Oh, Aoi. Thank you!”

“What exactly is a wedding?” Inosuke tapped on Aoi’s shoulder for more information.

“Tell you what, dear,” said Aoi patiently. “I’ll explain everything to you later.”

“Just tell me if it’s something we have to do, too.”

And, with that, I had had it. Inosuke was raised by wild boars and then had to learn about the world by himself. It was understandable that he didn’t know what marriage was. But, I was going to slap Zenitsu silly in two seconds, because he was still proposing to Nezuko. My sister, with her good heart, tried to calmly tell him that what he was doing was inappropriate. I didn’t know how she maintained such patience. I resisted the urge to jump to my feet, which would have startled Kanao. She sensed my frustration and instead reached up with her free hand and turned my face towards her.

“It’s okay,” she said. “We should start thinking about who we’re inviting. Want to make a list together?”

“That sounds like a great idea,” I replied.

So, we promptly excused ourselves. Meanwhile, a flustered Aoi was still trying to explain marriage to a deadpan Inosuke. Zenitsu had gone back to throwing a tantrum on the floor, while Nezuko just looked at him wearily.

When we were sitting on the back porch, I immediately slumped forward.

“That was not the way I thought that was going to go,” I sighed.

Kanao sighed, too. “This family is always full of surprises. I do love it, though.”

“I just need to catch my breath,” I said. “Can we think about invitations later?”

“Sure, whenever you want to,” she replied. “Is there something on your mind?”

“I just have to meditate on some things. I need to talk to my family. I guess now I need to tell Mr. Takeda about this, too. There’s just… a lot.”

“I understand,” she mused.

She proudly held out her hand and admired her ring. It was probably the tenth time that morning. I smiled. I had been worried that it was too plain.

“The band is magnesium. The gem is sunstone. I couldn’t afford anything nicer than that. It’s not much, but it will last.”

“I wouldn’t change anything about it,” she said. “I love it just the way it is.”

“You asked me how long I had had it,” I felt the need to keep explaining. “To be honest, I’ve had it since February. I was walking past the jeweler on the way home from work one day, and something just occurred to me. You know, ‘do it before you have second thoughts,’ that kind of thing. I wasn’t exactly sure of your finger size, so I hope that it fits…?”

“It’s perfect,” she said dreamily.

I couldn’t believe she was my fiancé now. I remembered back to the time when I was still too nervous to call her my girlfriend. In the fall, she would be my wife. I had to stop my train of thought there, because my head was spinning. I scooted over to her and plopped my head on her shoulder. She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair. I was aware she had a particular liking for my hair. I was pretty fond of hers, too. She always wore it the same way, pulled to the side and tied with her butterfly hairpin.

“What do you look like with your hair down?” I asked her playfully.

“It’s actually a lot longer than it looks,” she answered.

“My hair was longer when I was younger.”

“Really?”

“It was shoulder-length. I wore it tied back in a bun. My father’s was even longer. He had a thick ponytail.”

“I like it the way it is now,” she said. “Don’t grow a ponytail.”

“Okay.”

“How is your hair this thick but this soft and grow like this?” Kanao marveled. “It’s just gorgeous. And, the red in your hair…”

“That’s a Kamado thing.”

“I sure hope you pass along these good genes,” she sighed softly.

“Wait… huh?”

Kanao suddenly became aware of what she had implied, even if it was by accident. Her cheeks turned pink. Her hands froze.

“It was just a thought,” she explained.

“It’s all right, Kanao.”

This was not the first time she had subconsciously implied it. I had been afraid of moving too fast, but, in many ways, she was, too. We were both in a hurry without being in a hurry. The pacing of everything did feel right, and we were both ready for the way things were going. But, I could smell that every time Kanao unwittingly brought it up, she was afraid of something. I knew exactly what she was afraid of. I knew, if we were going to get married, we’d have to talk about it soon. But, we’d been engaged for less than twenty-four hours. Now was not the right time. She still wasn’t convinced it was all right, so I put my arm around her. I felt her relax, but she still looked embarrassed about it.

“Which would you prefer, have the wedding here or at the Butterfly Mansion?” I asked to change the subject.

“Well, I was actually thinking of the Butterfly Mansion,” she replied. “All of our friends, the other survivors, know where it is already. Also, it’s like we’d be inviting all of our departed friends, too.”

I smiled. “Everyone gets to see it in spirit.”

“Yes, exactly.”

“I think that’s the place, then.”

She stared off into space with a serene smile on her face. I could tell that she was thinking about Kanae and Shinobu. There would be time for me to think about our fallen comrades later, but, at the moment, I was just mesmerized by Kanao. I couldn’t help but notice that she was truly developing into a young woman. She’d always been beautiful. No, she was simply gorgeous. She literally took my breath away. But, I was just now taking notice of how much more mature her beauty had become. I could see it in her face. I started moving my hand across her back. She had such a graceful figure. Every move she made was elegant, from the way she used to swing her sword to the way she walked. Her body had still maintained its lithe gracefulness even with the rest of her getting considerably curvier… I suddenly flinched. What in the world was I thinking about?!?! I felt my face turn red hot, but she wasn’t looking at me. I had to get off this thought immediately before… it was too late. My nose instantly spurted blood.

Kanao suddenly noticed and jumped.

“Tanjiro, what’s wrong?”

I fumbled around in my pocket for a tissue. I didn’t have one, though.

“N-Nothing,” I stammered. “You, know, this mountain altitude gets to you sometimes.”

“You told me that you never felt the effects of altitude here,” she said.

“I do occasionally,” I laughed awkwardly, blood all over me now. “I just have to go inside and clean this up, maybe jump in the bath.”

“That’s all right. I’ll wash your clothes for you.”

“Cool, thanks,” I managed, scrambling to my feet.

I bolted inside the house. I felt bad leaving her out there, but the blood just wouldn’t stop. I had never had one so strong. In my rush to get inside, I bumped right into Zenitsu.

“Oh, sorry,” I said, now covering my face with my hand.

Blood was still seeping through my fingers. Zenitsu looked me up and down a few times. He knew perfectly well what it was. He narrowed his eyes at me.

“I’m not sorry for you,” he said, and walked away.

Sometimes, he was really a brat.

My nose kept bleeding in the bath. Once I was in the warm water, it went from a gushing flow to a steady stream. Then, it started to feel nice, really nice. I sighed deeply and sunk all the way down to my chin in the water. The water was turning red all around me, but it didn’t bother me. I couldn’t move at all. This was happening a lot more frequently, and sometimes I did it on purpose. It had never happened in front of her, though. It took me a while to tell anyone about it. I knew that I couldn’t talk to Zenitsu or Inosuke. I wasn’t sure if Inosuke even knew what it was, and Zenitsu would’ve said something crass or immature. That was proved by his attitude on this particular day. Not being able to talk to other guys about it was very frustrating. I really missed my father, because he would’ve been the best person to talk to. I talked to him about it plenty in spirit, but I wanted him with me. After a while, I had finally told Nezuko, even though telling that to my sister was difficult.

She had just patted my back. “It’s a normal and beautiful part of life, brother. Don’t feel bad about it at all.”

“Do you think she… gets that way about me?” I had asked meekly. “I… uh… I want her to, because I love her.”

“She loves you, doesn’t she?” Nezuko said. “It comes with love. Also, women don’t get nosebleeds, so it’s not obvious when we’re thinking it.”

After Nezuko and I had that conversation, I had gone to the flowerbed and told my family all of my thoughts. I knelt there for an hour, just pouring my heart out and waiting for an answer. After a while, I felt a warm breeze whoosh from behind me, rattling my earrings. I knew it was a sign from my father. It was only then that I decided I was going to do it. That was what made me certain that I was ready to propose to Kanao.

“Hey, are you almost done in there?” I heard Inosuke’s voice from the other side of the door. “I wanna take a bath, too!”

“I’m almost done,” I called back to him.

I did plan on being done soon, but I wasn’t sure when I would regain feeling in my legs.

The next few weeks that went by had a charge to them. Zenitsu stopped being a jerk to me, although he occasionally quipped some pointed remark. Things between me and Kanao were wonderful. Kissing had become more passionate. There was also our hands. They were starting to explore. We’d hold each other and kiss, and our hands would move. It was amazing. We had already sent out the invitations to the wedding. Both of our crows worked together to send them to the other surviving corps members. I hoped everybody would be able to make it. I reluctantly invited Shinazugawa. I only did because Kanao thought it would be rude not to. It took forever to locate his new address. We contacted Kiriya about using the Butterfly Mansion for the venue. He replied within a day, and he was more than happy.

“Look at Kiriya’s letter,” I laughed, and showed it to Kanao.

“Oh my,” she said. “He’s very eloquent for someone so young.”

“He learned from his father, that’s for sure,” I replied.

We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other when we were alone. We had to do all the wedding planning when no one else was home, so we could just fall into each other. It was what Zenitsu and Nezuko did, except we did it in private. It was so unlike me. New sides of me that I never thought existed were coming out. It was early June, and the wedding was set for October. It was four months away, and my heart leapt every time I thought about it. We were engrossed with kissing at the moment, but something was bothering me.

“Hey, Kanao,” I said. “I know Zenitsu is jealous, but I don’t want him to be such a jerk. I have to find some way to make up with him.”

“You need to talk to him directly,” she replied. “I can’t speak for him. Nezuko once told me that he makes comments about marriage often to her, but she always redirects them.”

“Well, there’s no question those two are crazy about each other,” I said.

“I guess she just wants to make sure he understands what marriage is really like, because it’s clear he has some delusions about it,” Kanao went on.

I was not always sure if I fully understood what marriage was like myself. But, I knew I was ready for it. I had no doubts in my mind about it. Then, my crow came through the window with a letter tied to its leg.

“KAW! MESSAGE FOR TANJIRO KAMADO!”

I winced. My crow had the loudest squawk in the world. But, I untied the letter from its leg and sent it off again.

“Is that our first response to the wedding?” Kanao asked excitedly.

“It is, and it’s from Shinjuro and Senjuro Rengoku!”

Kanao brought her fingers to her mouth. “What did they say?”

I read the letter aloud to her. “They say, ‘Dear Tanjiro and Kanao, it would be our utmost pleasure to come to your wedding! We are so happy to hear that you’re going to be married at the Butterfly Mansion. We miss you both and we can’t wait to see and support you.’”

“That’s so lovely,” Kanao said.

“There’s actually two letters here,” I realized. “Did my crow make a double delivery?”

I unfurled the second letter and immediately tensed.

“What’s wrong?” Kanao asked.

“It’s from Shinazugawa,” I said. “I didn’t think he’d even reply.”

“Is he… coming?”

I read the letter quietly, with Kanao leaning over my shoulder.

Dear Mr. Kamado,

My name is Emiko Shinazugawa, and I’m Sanemi’s wife. Thank you for sending us an invitation to your wedding. Sanemi and I have two children now, a pair of twins. They are only a few months old, and we’re very busy with them. Our son Genya especially requires a lot of close attention, and Sanemi is worried about bringing him and his sister to a large gathering so soon. We will have to miss the wedding, unfortunately, but Sanemi extends his regards to you and your future wife.

The Shinazugawa family

“I had no idea Shinazugawa had a wife,” Kanao said.

“She’s very polite,” I mused quietly. “He probably just didn’t want to come.”

“You don’t know that,” Kanao replied, leaning her chin on my shoulder. “Does it say his son’s name is ‘Genya?’”

I suddenly felt myself choke up. Shinazugawa’s had a younger brother, Genya, was also a demon slayer. He was just as difficult as his older brother was - although notably not as much as a jerk. Shinazugawa stabbed Nezuko, which was the reason I didn’t like him. However, after a bad start, Genya and I eventually became friends. Genya perished in the final battle, thinking that his brother hated him. I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness whenever I thought of Genya. His brother named his son after him, so maybe he wasn’t all bad. Kanao must’ve seen a tear forming in my eye, because she wiped it away. She knew.

“I’m glad they sent back something,” she said. “It’s nice to know that he’s with someone. Being with someone is wonderful.”

I turned and looked at her. “It certainly is.”

Over the course of the week, the letters just kept coming in. To our delight, everyone else answered that they were able to come. That included Murata, Uzui and his three wives, and even Haganezuka, my old sword smith. The last letter to arrive was from Tomioka. When I told Kanao that his letter finally came, she held her breath.

“Did he say ‘yes?’”

“I’ll read,” I said, unfolding the letter. “He didn’t write much, but he says, ‘Dear Tanjiro, I will be coming to your wedding. My wife will be very pregnant by then, but she is very excited to meet you and will come along.’”

Kanao gasped. “Tomioka has a wife, too? And, she’s pregnant?”

“I guess!” I exclaimed happily. “This is all so wonderful! Everyone’s coming!”

“You two have more wedding delight?”

We both looked up from the table to see Zenitsu standing there.

“Hey, Zenitsu,” I said.

He was still giving me a weird treatment. I thought it would’ve dispelled by now.

“That’s cool,” he said, and walked briskly to the bathroom.

“Okay,” I grumbled. “I’ve had enough of him.”

“You really need to just talk to him,” Kanao said.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Listen,” Kanao went on. “I have to go down into the village for some errands tomorrow, Inosuke will be making charcoal, and Nezuko and Aoi will be at work. Since you don’t have to work tomorrow and Zenitsu will also be home, you can talk it out then.”

“I’ll try.”

Kanao hugged me and kissed my cheek. I wrapped her up in my arm. She was leaning in pretty tightly, and I could feel her chest pressing on me. I was not going to bring my hand there, because Zenitsu could walk out of the bathroom at any second, but it wanted to go there. What was this desire spreading in me like wildfire? There were two reasons for it, one physical, one emotional. The physical reason was because of Kanao’s body, and the way that it had become more… shapely. The emotional one was that I loved her, of course. It was all a natural reaction. It certainly was beautiful to want this with someone. She moved her lips off my cheek and eyed me playfully. I motioned with my head to remind her that Zenitsu was still in the bathroom. She paused, stole a quick kiss on my lips anyway, told me that she was going to her room to work on sewing, and walked gracefully away. I felt it coming, but I was prepared with a tissue this time. Thankfully, the blood just trickled out of my nose, and I was able to catch it quickly. I sat back down at the table.

I looked at all the responses from our friends. There was going to be so much laughter and joy at our wedding. It made me grin. I was happy to hear that Tomioka was having a child. He had always been very emotionally detached, but that seemed to have changed after the battle was won. I had always wondered if he had had some kind of relationship with Shinobu.

“No, Shinobu just liked teasing him,” Kanao had told me when I asked.

Zenitsu finally came out of the bathroom. He saw me still tending to my nosebleed.

“Have you ever tried stomping your foot? That usually makes them stop for me,” he said.

“Why does that work?”

“Not sure, it just does.”

“Thanks, I’ll remember that.”

He walked away without another word. He and I had never fought before. I didn’t want to fight with my best friend. I wondered if something had been going on with him and Nezuko. If that was true, I would have to talk to Zenitsu without finding out anything I didn’t want to about my sister. I had a sinking feeling in my gut. Or, was that the nosebleed? If anything, I didn’t want Zenitsu to be unhappy at my wedding, so we had to resolve this quickly.

The next day, I followed Kanao’s advice. Thankfully, my opportunity presented itself that afternoon. While everyone else was gone, I found Zenitsu sitting at the table, eating a snack.

“Hey,” he said. “You don’t have to work today?”

“Yeah, it’s a rarity, but I wasn’t needed,” I replied. “You’re not working on your book?”

“It’s actually a memoir,” he answered with his mouth full. “I’m writing about our time as demon slayers.”

“Oh!” I exclaimed. “That’s great!”

“I changed all the names, don’t worry,” he said. “Except my own, of course.”

“But… don’t you usually use a pseudonym when you write?”

“I decided not to for this one,” he went on, then swallowed. “I want my descendants to know it really happened.”

There was long pause. Then, I took a deep breath.

“Zenitsu, we need to talk about things. I know you’re jealous of me right now, but don’t you think the way you’ve been acting has been really… petty?”

He looked at me for a minute, chewing on another bite.

“Sit down,” he said.

I was hesitant, but I sat down across from him at the table.

“I’m sorry, Tanjiro,” he confessed with a long sigh. “Yes, I was jealous. I tried proposing to Nezuko a while ago, before you told us you were engaged.”

“You did?!?!” I exclaimed. “When?!?! W-What did she say?”

“She told me to think carefully about what I was doing,” Zenitsu said. “She told me she loved me, but she couldn’t marry me now. I didn’t know what to make of it. It was awkward for a few days, but she came right back to me. That just made me even more confused. I was really more jealous of your confidence than anything else.”

“To be honest, Zenitsu, there’s a lot that I am still trying to make sense of myself,” I said. “All I know is that… I want to, and I’m ready to, spend the rest of my life with Kanao.”

“I am happy for you,” he said. “I’m sorry I let my personal frustration get in the way.”

I smiled. “It’s okay, but do me one favor.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Next time you propose to my sister, warn me first.”

“Hehehehehe, of course!” Zenitsu giggled nervously.

The two of us sat there for a minute, and he went back to anxiously nibbling on his snack. I never told him this, but he sometimes looked like a mouse when he ate. Now that we had gotten that out of the way, I wondered if he would respond maturely to talking about women. After all, we were both guys, and this was a legitimate topic guys needed to talk about. How else did we learn things?

“Zenitsu…” I mumbled. “Kanao’s chest…”

“What about it?”

“It’s, you know, not particularly big. But, it’s very… full.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And, her hips…” I sighed. “They’re also a lot fuller. It’s almost like they’re… fertile?”

“Yep, saw that,” Zenitsu droned.

“Wait… why are you looking at my fiancé?!?!”

“I’m not, it’s just obvious.”

“Quit looking at her!”

“I don’t do it on purpose.”

“Ugh… why am I even telling you all this?” I groaned.

“I dunno, becoming a man is hard sometimes,” Zenitsu answered.

“In more ways than one…” I plopped my head down on the table.

“I’m glad you said that and not me.”

I still smelled something off about him, but things seemed all right for the moment. I felt a little bit better about expressing the things I was… curious about. The thoughts in my head were so foreign, but ignoring them was useless. Now, I just let them in. Zenitsu kept eating and I stayed face down on the table for a few minutes. Then, I thanked him and went to my room.

I immediately laid down on my bed, ready for a nap. I peeled my shirt off. I had started sleeping without it because it gave my bad arm a little extra movement in the shoulder. So many funny things were happening to me now. The physical reactions were by far the strangest. I had always had them, but suddenly it was like they were completely taking over my body. It was as if they were happening on cue because we were engaged now. I put my arm behind my head. My bad arm was flopped next to me at an odd angle. I could still move it, but I had no feeling left from the elbow down. Therefore, it always just flopped around when I wasn’t standing. I hoped Kanao wouldn’t mind that. She had never said anything about it when it was just hanging at my side. I sighed. Four more months, then we would be married. Then she’d be able to move into this room with me.

Usually, I didn’t let myself think of that, but today, the thought was way too consuming. I let my imagination run for just a brief moment, because soon it would be a reality. It promptly resulted in another nosebleed, but I was lying on my back, so it was easier to stop. I thought of what would happen to her name, then I started saying it. It had a really nice ring to it. I loved the way that it bounced off my tongue. Who knew words could actually have taste? Who knew that I’d ever be overcome by all this? I had to train later to distract myself, or I was going to lose my mind. When in doubt, I just went training. I needed to regain some control of my body. With that thought, I closed my eyes and fell right to sleep.

I ended up skipping the training after I woke up. Instead, I went out to my family. I had so much to tell them. I couldn’t do anything without getting it all out.

“Father, Mother, Takeo, Hanako, Shigeru, Rokuta…” I sighed. “I’m getting married. I’m finally marrying Kanao. I’ve never been so happy, and so terrified. The terror feels kind of good, though. It’s really hard to describe. Father, you have no idea how much I miss you right now. I have so many questions that only you could answer. This feeling is incredible, and I’m sorry that my siblings never had the chance to grow up and experience this. My head’s constantly spinning, my body feels like it’s malfunctioning… wait, sorry, that was way too much information for my siblings, sorry… but at the same time, it all feels amazing! Kanao is the best thing in my life. I am so happy to be marrying the love of my life. My life may be shortened, but if Kanao is in it, then I’m positive that seven years will feel like seven hundred with our happiness. I never knew it was possible to feel like you’re going to throw up with joy. Before we know it, we’ll even start our own family, and no… stop, stop, stop…”

I was on my knees now with my forehead on the ground. I couldn’t believe the words that were falling out of my mouth. I missed my father now more than I ever had. He’d be brimming with pride for me. I was so frustrated not being able to voice all my burning questions. What did it actually feel like? I would’ve asked Aoi all my questions, but felt so awkward because she was Kanao’s best friend. My only option at this point was to look it up at the library. That was what it was going to have to come to. But, that wasn’t the only thing I wanted to ask my father. I knew I had been a good boyfriend, but being a good husband was completely different. How did I do it? So much responsibility was about to fall on my shoulders, but I was ready, and I wanted it. But, I didn’t want to crack. My father was a great man. As a child, I had always looked up to him with wonder. I was starting to cry now. It was so overwhelming. I took a deep breath. I wanted to be a wonderful husband. Was I putting too much pressure on myself to be perfect? Maybe.

I was not far off from my father’s age when I was born. I remembered the way he and my mother would interact. They were actually a lot like me and Kanao, now that I thought about it. I had done well so far. I had to trust myself, and I had to trust Kanao. I had thought long and hard about whether I would’ve married her this young if I didn’t bear the curse of the mark. I decided that I was ready now regardless of that. When I came to that conclusion, I decided to propose to her. Now, I was second-guessing it. I bonked my head on the ground in frustration. I resisted the urge to keep doing it, because even my hard head wasn’t completely invincible. I felt pressure on my good shoulder, almost like a hand. I immediately relaxed. My father was telling me in spirit that it was normal. Maybe he had felt the same way. I had always trusted in love. And, I had my family’s love, even from the world after. I cracked a small smile. I felt my family’s warm breeze behind me. I picked my head up and looked at the crimson flowers. I really did miss them. But, I was also excited to call Kanao my family. She really was the best thing in my life. I finally stood up. I still wasn’t completely sure, but for now, I was done with my meltdown. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“I love Kanao more than I could ever tell her,” I whispered, my smile finally starting to stretch. “I know I’ve got a lot of thoughts, but above all things, I’ve never felt so good inside. I’ll be thinking of all of you at the wedding.”

I started walking away. I knew this was not the last time I would have to ask my father’s spirit for guidance. And, this wasn’t the first time, either. I had always used his guidance when I was a swordsman, and I prayed to his spirit long before my whole journey happened. A father was supposed to help his son become a man. While I thought I was becoming a man just fine on my own, I still had doubts. I decided to finally let myself think about that one thought I had been avoiding. It was impossible not to acknowledge it anymore. I would be in my father’s shoes a lot sooner than I thought, and, even if my time left on earth was short, I wanted to be just as great of a father as he was.

Chapter Text

The Most Beautiful Night

The final few months leading up to the wedding felt surreal. We both handled the plans together, although Tanjiro did most of it on his own. However, the most surreal thing of all was actually rehearsing how we were going to walk up to our wedding. It was two weeks from the actual date in October. There was no way we could make the trip to the Butterfly Mansion twice, nor could we all stay there for two weeks, so we had to mimic the ceremony at home. Nezuko took it upon herself to direct the rehearsal. She became more and more invested as we went along, and more emotional. She cried several times.

“Brother,” she sniffled. “I can’t believe you’re going to do this for real!”

“Aw, Nezuko,” Tanjiro said and gave her a hug.

“We’re both so grown up!” Nezuko wailed. “It feels like just yesterday we were chasing each other around the yard with leaves!”

“I know, I know,” Tanjiro comforted her.

But, he was clearly worried about how Nezuko would react at the actual wedding.

Meanwhile, Zenitsu and Tanjiro seemed to have settled their differences, but I could tell it was not one hundred percent. Zenitsu still sort of shut down whenever Tanjiro would talk about the wedding. Everything seemed to be okay with everyone else, though. One night, I overheard Aoi trying to explain to Inosuke that he had to wear a shirt and leave his boar hide at home.

“It’s a formal event, dear,” she replied. “Everyone will be dressed nicely. We will be there to support Tanjiro and Kanao, and this is how we show that support.”

“But, I don’t like shirts.”

“Remember how nice you looked when you dressed up to meet me that one time?” Aoi said sweetly. “You looked so handsome.”

“Oh!” I heard Inosuke get excited. “Okay, yeah, I’ll wear a shirt just this once!”

I smiled. Those two amused me. I wanted to talk to Aoi, too, so I waited until they were finished. I followed her back into our room. Well, I would only be in it for two more weeks.

“Aoi,” I said. “I wanted to talk to you about some things involving the wedding.”

“Hm? Shouldn’t you talk to Tanjiro about that?”

“This is different,” I explained. “This is about after the ceremony. I have some questions about it. I just want to be prepared.”

“Oh,” she said. “That’s right. Sure, I’d be happy to help.”

I should’ve asked her sooner, but I thought I had it covered on my own. I’d been secretly preparing for it a while. I just hoped I had prepared enough. I was ready, I just needed to know a final few things. When I thought of it, I felt so warm. My imagination would not stop running. I knew that when it actually happened, it would be like nothing I ever felt. I listened to Aoi very carefully.

“I see,” I said. “You know a lot.”

Aoi’s cheeks were pink. “Well, I am a doctor. I had to study all of this. I’m glad that I got to help my best friend.”

I smiled. “Thanks for your help.”

“I am happy for you, Kanao,” Aoi smiled. “You’ve found someone truly special.”

That night, it was Nezuko’s turn to cook dinner. We were all heading out to the Butterfly Mansion in a few days. We originally planned on waiting until the night before we left to have our grand feast, but we were all impatient. Nezuko cooked way too much food, and we happily stuffed ourselves.

“Traditionally, we’re supposed to have saké, but none of us here drink it!” Nezuko said proudly. “So, let’s raise our tea in a toast instead!”

“Hey,” Tanjiro chuckled nervously. “Can we save the big speeches until after the actual wedding…?”

Everyone laughed. The four of them toasted us, and we all sipped our tea. I immediately fell into Tanjiro’s shoulder. His arm wrapped around me, tight and secure. It wasn’t like us to be affectionate in front of others, but this was different. Everyone understood. Even Zenitsu smiled. He truly was happy for us, and I knew he had emotionally matured greatly since the final battle. He was still very insecure, though. I knew Tanjiro could read it. Right now, Zenitsu had his hand on Nezuko’s shoulder. Even Aoi and Inosuke were holding hands underneath the table. We were all eighteen now, and growing up fast. It was amazing.

That night, I was getting my things ready to take a bath. I had my clothes and things in my arms and I walked to the bathroom. I stopped and put everything down for a minute to check the closet for new soap.

“Hey, there,” came Tanjiro’s voice.

I turned and smiled at him. “Hello.”

He was beaming back at me. “It’s finally happening.”

“Yes, it is.”

He wrapped me up again. His embrace always felt so safe and secure. He smelled good. He had such a keen sense of smell, but he couldn’t smell his own scent. I had no idea how to tell him what it was like, though, so I never did.

“Do you remember our first kiss?” I asked him.

“I could never forget,” he chuckled. “I thought the entire world disappeared and that we were in some timeless void.”

“That’s funny, I thought of it the same way.”

“It’s like we’re in sync,” he joked.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, and loosened his arm around me. “I shouldn’t interrupt what you were doing.”

“You weren’t interrupting anything,” I said, squeezing him tighter. “Please, don’t go yet.”

He held me close again. “I’m not going anywhere. Don’t worry about me.”

I buried my face in his chest. I didn’t want to say anything else. I just wanted to stay with him like that. The feeling was clearly mutual.

“I love you, Kanao Tsuyuri,” he whispered.

“I love you, too.”

Eventually, we let go with a quick kiss goodnight. I slipped away into the bath, with only one thing on my mind. We had planned everything in the wedding down to the last detail, and I knew that everything would be wonderful. I thought many of the traditional things we planned were unnecessary, but Tanjiro wanted them. I didn’t mind, though. None of that really mattered. All I really cared about was him.

The six of us took two cars back to the Butterfly Mansion to spare the long trip. Tanjiro and I rode together in one and everyone else went in the other. When we arrived, Kiriya and his two sisters were waiting for us by the courtyard gate. Kiriya was actually younger than us. He was eight when the final battle happened, which was three years ago. Now he was eleven, but even though he was still a child, he carried a maturity beyond his years just like his father, Kagaya. His two sisters were near the same age.

“Welcome,” Kiriya greeted us happily. “It is my great pleasure to welcome the six of you back to the Butterfly Mansion, and for such a wonderful occasion!”

“Hello, Kiriya,” Tanjiro said.

We got out of the car holding hands. Kiriya smiled when he noticed.

“Congratulations, my sweet bride and groom,” he said with a bow. “It is an honor to host your wedding at my home.”

We both bowed back to him, still with hands clasped. Tanjiro and Kiriya started talking between themselves. Behind us, I could hear Inosuke chattering excitedly.

“That was so cool!” he exclaimed. “We all rode inside that thing! It wasn’t as fast as that train, but it was still awesome! This is all part of that ‘modern age’ thing?”

“Yes, dear, and we’ll be taking the car on the way back, too,” Aoi replied, covering her mouth to hide a giggle.

Nezuko and Zenitsu got out of the car last. Zenitsu looked around.

“This place hasn’t changed at all,” he said.

“Look how gorgeous the leaves are, sweetie!” Nezuko cheered, gazing at the display of vibrant orange foliage.

“Yes, it’s beautiful,” Zenitsu answered and actually smiled. “It’s going to be a beautiful couple days.”

I smiled to myself. I was afraid Zenitsu would be in a bad mood, but I guess I didn’t have anything to worry about. I knew that he would never do anything to hurt anyone, but I had been a little nervous, mostly for Tanjiro’s sake.

Next, we were happily greeted by Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho, who showed us to our rooms. The inside dormitories also hadn’t changed. Nezuko and Aoi were in Aoi’s actual old bedroom, which made her very happy. Zenitsu and Inosuke were put together next door.

“Um, what about us?” Tanjiro asked.

“Tanjiro, you’re in this room here,” Kiyo said, pointing to her left. “Kanao, you’re across the hall. Tomorrow you’ll both be in Tanjiro’s room, and we’ll get a bigger bed."

The two of us stood there silently. I heard Tanjiro take a deep breath in through his nose. Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho kept smiling at us. They were still very young. They clearly didn’t know what they were talking about.

The pace of the day quickly changed and the wedding guests poured in. The first guests to arrive were Shinjuro and Senjuro Rengoku. Senjuro was fifteen now and was very handsome. That didn’t surprise me at all, as his older brother Kyojuro was also very good-looking. When he saw Tanjiro, he sported a huge grin and ran up to him.

“Tanjiro!” he called out. “Congratulations! I can’t believe it!”

“Hello, Senjuro! I’m glad you look well!” Tanjiro happily replied.

“And, you must be Kanao!” Senjuro said, turning to me. “I don’t think I’ve met you. I am so happy to be here for you, though. And, I know my brother would be happy, too.”

“I know he would,” I said with a smile.

Shinjuro Rengoku was less talkative, but he was still polite to us. The next to arrive was Murata, who showed up with a girl. Tanjiro excitedly asked if she was his girlfriend.

“No, actually, she’s my sister,” Murata replied awkwardly. “I don’t think I ever told you, but my family wasn’t killed by demons like a lot of other corps members. I do have a girlfriend, her dad just wouldn’t let her come.”

There were not that many survivors of the final battle, so it was a small attendance. We preferred it that way. When Haganezuka arrived, Tanjiro went up to him very excitedly. After the traditional pleasantries, Haganezuka placed his hands on Tanjiro’s shoulders.

“Don’t break your sword,” he said.

At first Tanjiro laughed, but after a few minutes, he started to look kind of… disturbed?

“Where’s Urokodaki?” Nezuko asked me after a while. “And, I know that Yushiro won’t come until night…”

“Actually,” I explained. “We never heard back from either of them.”

“Oh,” Nezuko said and looked disappointed.

Urokodaki and Yushiro were recluses. Neither me nor Tanjiro really expected Yushiro to answer back. However, Tanjiro was very upset when we never received word from Urokodaki. I guessed he was no longer alive, but I didn’t tell Tanjiro that.

The last guest to arrive was Tomioka. He came very discreetly, while the festivities were in full swing. Nobody heard a car pull up at all. All of a sudden, he was just standing by the door inside the courtyard. It was Senjuro who pointed him out. Tanjiro whipped around excitedly.

Tomioka turned and looked at everyone, saw Tanjiro waving to him, but didn’t react right away. He was patiently holding the door open for someone. Tomioka had lost an arm during the final battle, and his coat flapped loosely in the autumn breeze. A figure walked through the door. It was a woman who was definitely around seven months pregnant. I held my breath. She had to have been his wife. Tomioka gently took her hand and led her in our direction. It took them a few minutes, but once they came over to us, Tomioka smiled. He had never talked much and kept his distance in the Corps, so to see him smile was a treat. I was glad he was smiling at us now.

“Tanjiro. Kanao,” he said.

“Giyu! I’m so glad you made it!” Tanjiro exclaimed happily.

“This is my wife, Meisa,” Tomioka said.

He gently placed his hand on his wife’s shoulder.

“It’s great to meet you, Meisa,” Tanjiro replied.

Meisa Tomioka seemed very shy and a bit overwhelmed. She simply nodded.

“Pleased to meet you, too,” she returned quietly.

“Congratulations on becoming parents soon,” I added.

“Thank you, but all the congratulations are for you two,” Tomioka said. “You’ve come a long way from the kid that I met all those years ago, Tanjiro.”

I wondered how Tomioka and Meisa would make it through two full days of celebration, but when I asked Tanjiro about it later, he just smiled at me.

He said, “I think they’ll be fine.”

Tomioka and his wife must have retired to bed early because we didn’t see them for much longer that night. The pre-nuptial party was fun, although Inosuke complained about the lack of food. Aoi held his hand patiently.

“There will be more food tomorrow, dear, that’s when the actual wedding is.”

“I still don’t get this wedding thing,” he mumbled.

“Well, you’ll see what it is tomorrow,” Aoi replied. “And, don’t forget… I have to make you look nice.”

“Okay, as long as you do it…”

That night, I went to bed early because I knew that I would be up for a while. I spread my arms out next to me, feeling the open space of the bed. I started to think about how I wouldn’t mind if I was closed in. I knew what was going to happen tomorrow. Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho were going to do my hair and makeup. Aoi and Nezuko were going to help me get dressed. Inosuke and Zenitsu were going to help Tanjiro get dressed, or something like that. I wasn’t told exactly what they would be doing. We weren’t allowed to see each other for the entire day, which meant he wouldn’t see me until I was walking up to him. I thought about all of our friends that we had seen today. I couldn’t believe how mature Senjuro looked. Aside from his Rengoku hair, I hardly recognized him. I thought of Tomioka and his beautifully round wife. Would I ever be that round myself? The Sound Hashira, Tengen Uzui, and his three wives weren’t arriving until tomorrow. All their letter back said was, We have a big group, which makes traveling difficult. I assumed that meant the four of them. I realized that we wouldn’t see them until after the ceremony. But, knowing that they would be there to support us was what mattered.

Mostly, I was thinking about how I wouldn’t get to visit Kanae and Shinobu until after the ceremony, maybe not even until the next day. The actual ceremony was scheduled to start when the sun was the highest, but the festivities would end very late. I had wanted to talk to them before everything, and tell them the things I was thinking. But, then again, what was left to say? I had already been talking to them in spirit for months. They had already heard everything several times. I wouldn’t have anything new to tell them until the day after the wedding. I took a deep breath. I wondered what was going through Tanjiro’s head. Eventually, I would ask him. I closed my eyes and thought of everything that happened today. I hoped this wasn’t the last time I would see all of those people. Even if it was, I was glad I got to share this with them.

Sumi had dried my hair and was tying it up. I had wanted it in my usual style, but she insisted this was the proper look for a wedding. However, she agreed to secure with my butterfly hairpin. Naho was rubbing some lotion into my hands, and Kiyo was finishing with my makeup. They stood back and beamed at me.

“Oh, Miss Kanao,” they said in unison. “You look beautiful!”

Next, Aoi and Nezuko helped me into my white kimono. It really took three people to put on. I held my arms out to the side as they helped me put on the belt. I wasn’t used to this kind of pampering. All of a sudden, I heard Nezuko sniffle.

“Oh, Nezuko,” Aoi sighed. “Not again.”

“I’m sorry,” Nezuko cried, trying to wipe away her tears. “I’ve just never been so happy. I’m so happy for you and for my brother.”

The only emotion I could feel was a buzzing noise in my head and the beat of my heart, if that counted as emotion. Finally, Aoi and Nezuko were finished with every last tuck. They stood back and let me look all around. Nezuko was still crying, and Aoi smiled brightly at me with her hands clasped by her chest.

“What do you think?” Aoi asked. “It looks perfect, but does it feel right?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“All right, we should be ready to go soon,” Aoi said. “We just need to get the signal from Naho and then we can proceed.”

Sumi suddenly barreled through the door. We quickly turned to look at her, and she stood up against the door with her arms splayed outward.

“Whatever you do, DO NOT open this door!” she commanded. “Tanjiro is right outside! I will peek out and wait until he’s gone.”

We heard voices from the other side of the door. It was definitely the guys, and they were talking excitedly.

“Can… Can I at least hear him?” I asked.

Having no contact with him at all that morning was eating at me.

Sumi thought for a minute. “I’m not sure. I guess that doesn’t go against anything. But, still don’t open the door, not even a tiny crack.”

Sumi moved out of the way and I pressed my ear against the door. Aoi and Nezuko did the same. They were literally right outside in the hall.

“I just want to say,” came Tanjiro’s voice. “You guys are the best friends I could ever ask for, and it means so much to me that you’re here.”

“Aw, come on!” Zenitsu laughed. “This isn’t about us, man, this is about you. And, let me tell you, you could not have been luckier.”

“Yeah, Kanao is so into you!” Inosuke added. “She’s totally awesome!”

“She’s more than that,” Tanjiro said, the happiest I had ever heard him. “She’s by far the greatest thing to ever happen to me.”

“Save the sap for the ceremony,” Zenitsu said.

I heard Tanjiro say “oof,” so Zenitsu must’ve thumped him hard on the back. Then, their voices faded down the hall. The four of us kept our ears pressed against the door until we were sure they were gone. Then, we all slowly backed away from the door. Nezuko had her hands over her mouth, and now she was sobbing.

“Oh my,” she whimpered. “Did… did you hear what my brother said…?”

My ear was ringing. I also couldn’t believe what I had heard him say.

“Kanao,” Aoi put her hand on my shoulder. “Does this make you feel better?”

“Y-Yes,” I said. “I feel like so much was just lifted.”

Nezuko continued to weep, but I didn’t feel any tears in me yet. At first, I thought it was wrong to not be crying, but I was sure that would change later. My heart was beating faster now, but I had also been put at peace. Then, there was a knock at the door, and all of us jumped. It was Naho. She was holding the bouquet I was going to carry.

“For you, Miss Kanao!” she announced happily.

That was the signal. It was time to start heading out.

What Nezuko and Aoi were supposed to do was walk behind me and carry a train that came off my kimono, but I couldn’t afford one that fancy. So, instead, Aoi and Nezuko stood on either side of me and looped their arms through mine as I walked up to the front. I felt a lot better that way. I was happy to have them close to me. Both of them were wearing a grayish blue color. Everyone kept telling me I looked beautiful, but they did, too. We stood in the courtyard, arm in arm with each other. We’d see everyone when we went around the corner. The actual ceremony was in the garden, and Tanjiro and I were going to stand on a bridge that went over the stream.

“Ready?” Aoi asked me.

“Yes.”

Before we rounded the corner, we heard a faint tune. We hadn’t arranged for any music. We realized it was a flute, and Nezuko gasped.

“No way,” she whispered. “Zenitsu’s doing that.”

“How do you know?” Aoi whispered back. “I didn’t know he could play the flute.”

“He can play anything. There’s not a single wrong note. That’s definitely him.”

Sure enough, it was. Now we could see the crowd, all our friends, sitting there with their heads turned to watch us. There were several gasps as we came into view. I had to keep my eyes front, and I couldn’t see out of the corner of my eyes, anyway. But, I could make out some voices as our friends whispered to each other. They whispered, “Here she comes,” or comments about how beautiful I was, but I could barely hear them over my heartbeat. Then, the bridge came into focus. First, I saw Kiriya. He stood in the middle of the bridge, smiling. A strange but amazing feeling spread in my chest. It wasn’t tightening with anxiety, it was expanding with exhilaration. My shoulders and hands were relaxed, but inside, I was soaring.

We turned again, and we stopped at the foot of the bridge. I passed my flowers off to Aoi. She gave me a big smile. I looked at Nezuko, who was weeping already. They let go of my arms, and they went to sit in the front with Zenitsu and Inosuke. Both of them looked very handsome. Inosuke had cleaned up a lot. Zenitsu stopped playing the flute and swept up Nezuko in his arms when she sat down. Aoi sat down next to Inosuke with poise, but even their hands immediately found each other’s. I looked forward. Kiriya motioned for me to come up the bridge. As I did, I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.

I could see Tanjiro now, coming into sharper focus. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. He looked… amazing. I’d never seen anyone so handsome in my life. He wore a black kimono and gray pants. He hadn’t changed his hair. I was afraid Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho would’ve teased or flattened it, but it was his same beautiful hair. His red highlights looked ruby in the sunlight. And, he had his earrings. He was stunning. His wide eyes were full of light, and he was beaming. For the first time that whole day, I beamed back. He reached out for my hand. I slid my fingers through his seamlessly. I took the hand he couldn’t use into my other one. His fingers couldn’t close, but mine could. We just kept smiling and locked our gazes. I heard the muffled sound of Nezuko still weeping in the background.

“Ladies and gentleman,” Kiriya started.

That was all I heard of his speech. There was only me and Tanjiro. Everything else was completely blocked out. Time collapsed in Tanjiro’s eyes. The only reminder that we were still in the material world was the gentle wind blowing against our cheeks. It was too perfect - not just perfect, but idyllic. I almost didn’t hear Kariya introduce the vows. He had to poke Tanjiro’s side to snap him out of his trance.

“Tanjiro, would you like to begin the vows?” Kiriya asked.

He took a deep breath, probably to regain his voice. He never took his eyes off of me. I realized that whatever he was going to say, he had memorized.

“My father once told me,” Tanjiro began. “That love was found where you least expected it. He told me that when I was a child, so, of course, I didn’t understand then. For many years, I never thought about it. I knew I loved my family, but I could never imagine there was anything other than that. That was until I met you. It took me a while to figure out what had happened to me, but now that I look back on it, I was in love from the start. I was in love with your courage, strength, and loyalty. I was in love with the way you inspired me, and the way you saw through me when no one else did. And, in my most vulnerable hour, the only thing I could think of was the fact that you were there, you were okay, and you were by my side. What my father told me suddenly made sense. I realized that sometimes love happens in an instant, like with the flip of a coin, and once it does, you can’t believe you ever lived without it. I wouldn’t even be standing here today if it weren’t for you, Kanao. You saved my life, in more ways than one.”

The floodgates had burst. Tears were streaming down my face. I was glad I declined most of the makeup. I couldn’t believe what I had heard. I was not expecting him to say something like that. I squeezed his hands tighter. He smiled at me with so much love. His red eyes had the loveliest shine I had ever seen in them before. My tears were huge and wet. I didn’t dare let go of his hands, so I let them fall. I realized it was my turn. I hadn’t rehearsed the way he clearly had, but I knew exactly what I wanted to say.

“Just four years ago, I didn’t know emotion,” I said, my voice surprisingly strong. “I did not know how to make decisions on my own. Very little mattered to me. My sister had always told me that my heart would bloom when I fell in love. I was not sure what kind of flower would ever grow from that. I was content not feeling, not being vulnerable. But, you saw something in me other than just a demon slayer. You saw a person. Not even I had seen myself as a person until then. You wanted me to bloom, and you wanted me to follow my heart. You genuinely cared not just because you are a good person, but you genuinely saw something in me. And, so, before I even knew what happened, I let you break down my walls. And, I felt something that I never had felt before. It felt like a flower, so I knew it was love. I did exactly what you encouraged me to. I did follow my heart, and my heart led me straight back into your arms.”

Now, he was crying, too. He was trying his hardest not to break down right there. He took deep breath after deep breath, while grinning from ear to ear. His eyes were so easy to look into. Kiriya cleared his throat again.

“Very well, then,” he declared.

He retrieved a small box from his pocket and held it out to us, then opened it. Inside were the rings.

“Kanao Tsuyuri, do you take Tanjiro as your husband?” Kiriya asked me.

“Yes,” I managed softly.

Kiriya gave me the first ring. I gently unlaced my fingers out of Tanjiro’s to hold his non-working hand myself and slip it on. He couldn’t feel it, but he was watching intently. He would always be able to see it there, feel it with his other hand, and he’d never forget. As soon as it was on, I held him again.

“Tanjiro Kamado, do you take Kanao as your wife?” Kiriya asked him.

“Yes,” Tanjiro replied surely.

It was exactly like when he proposed. The way his hand moved was nearly identical. The way the ring felt going on was identical. Now I was wearing two rings, and the new one already felt like it had been there forever. Our eyes returned to each other, both incredulous. That was it. We were married.

“Tanjiro, you may kiss your bride,” Kiriya said with a smile.

Our arms had never flown around each other faster. Tanjiro lifted me right off my feet in one motion, with only one arm. His arm was wrapped around me, and my arms were draped over his shoulders. It was the best kiss we’d ever shared. I heard Kiriya say something else, followed by the cheering of the crowd, but it all sounded like it was a thousand miles away. We lingered on each other’s lips, neither of us willing to let go. I didn’t want to be put down. At that moment, I could’ve stayed like that forever.

After the ceremony, we were immediately swarmed with people congratulating us. Then, I danced with Tanjiro. It was more like we just swayed back and forth, because his bad arm got in the way, but it was blissful. Then, we finally got to see Uzui.

“Hey, Tanjiro! Kanao! You’re both looking flashy!”

“Mr. Uzui, it’s so good to see you!” Tanjiro exclaimed.

“Please, call me Tengen, I’m not a Hashira anymore, you nitwit,” Uzui said.

He playfully smacked Tanjiro in the shoulder. Then, he turned to me.

“I’m sorry I hit your husband.”

“Um, it’s all right,” I managed, still trying to process the words, your husband.

“Where are your wives, Tengen?” Tanjiro asked, rubbing his shoulder.

“They’re getting food,” Uzui answered. “Sorry we couldn’t get up here yesterday, there’s six of us now and it slows you down, you know.”

“Six?” Tanjiro asked.

Suddenly there was a little voice. “Daddy!”

A boy of maybe only two or three tottered up to Uzui. Uzui picked him up with one hand and put him on his shoulders. Tanjiro and I stared at him wide-eyed.

“This is Satoru, he’s Hinatsuru’s,” Uzui explained nonchalantly. “Makio has a one-year-old girl named Riza, and Suma doesn’t have any yet. Because of them, we have to make tons of stops. It’s not flashy being late, but whatcha gonna do, huh? I’m getting to like it, though. By the way, Satoru, why aren’t you with your mom?”

Uzui had a family! Tanjiro and I looked at each other, and we both burst into big smiles. The night was getting more and more magical by the minute.

“Anyway, Tanjiro, here’s a present for your wife,” Uzui said and tossed him a small box. “Hope she finds it flashy.”

I looked over Tanjiro’s shoulder as he flicked the box open. Inside was a big brooch in the shape of a pink flower.

“It’s beautiful,” I exclaimed happily. “Thank you, Tengen.”

“Don’t thank me, it was Hinatsuru’s idea,” Uzui laughed. “Hold on, does she know where you are, Satoru?”

But, the best part of the reception was by far sitting around the table eating food with our found family. Nezuko had finally stopped crying, although she was still very wishy-washy. She hugged us both tightly when we found her. Aoi and Inosuke were more flirtatious than I had ever seen them. Zenitsu was ruffling Tanjiro’s hair, as if they had never been at odds. And, all through the night, the words “husband” and “wife” were tossed around at us, and me and Tanjiro beamed every time.

We saw Tomioka and his wife one more time before they went home. Tomioka wished us his heartfelt congratulations, then they waved goodbye. We said hello to Uzui’s wives properly. At one point, we all looked up and saw Senjuro dancing with Murata’s sister. She was clearly in awe of him, which resulted in many gasps and laughter at our table. But, eventually, the joyous festivities came to an end. All of our guests left or went back to overnight rooms at the mansion. Everyone was going to bed, and that included me and Tanjiro.

We paused outside the door. Tanjiro turned to me.

“I’m supposed to carry you over the threshold, but I can’t.”

“You just picked me up with one arm,” I reminded him with a smile.

“I’m… still not sure how I did that…” he laughed.

“Okay,” I thought for a minute. “Then, carry me on your back.”

Tanjiro grinned. “Sounds good.”

He bent over and I jumped on his back, even though my kimono got in the way. We both laughed heartily. It would dispel some awkwardness.

Inside, there was a large bed pad on the floor. The curtains were drawn and a small lamp cast a warm glow over everything. Tanjiro carried me into the middle of the room, then I hopped off. He looked the room over.

“There were two lamps in here yesterday,” he said.

“Maybe they needed the other one.”

“Probably.”

We hastily fumbled with our socks, then we stood there for a minute. We hadn’t been able to take our eyes off each other all night. I walked toward him, still locked in his gaze, and I put my hands on his shoulders. I felt my heart slide down my chest.

“Should I help you first?” I asked him.

“Isn’t that kimono heavy?”

“Yes,” I said softly. “Do you want to take it off?”

“Yes.”

First, he pulled the belt off. It slid undone with a whoosh, and it unfurled at our feet. My kimono finally loosened and I took a deep breath. I hadn’t realized just how tight it was. Next, he undid the piece over my shoulders, which also fell to the floor. Drapery was fluttering off of me left and right. My hands stayed right where they were on his shoulders. He moved his hand to my waist, but I stopped him there.

“My turn.”

“Go right ahead.”

My hands went to the strap around his shirt, but it was tied it too tightly. I fumbled with it for a few seconds. Once it was loose, I reached both hands under his shirt and pulled upward. He moved his right arm up instinctively, but getting it over his head and left arm was much harder. We laughed the entire time.

“Yeah, it’s not easy,” he said.

“Is it easier when I do it, though?”

“Yes, much easier.”

Finally, it was off. I took a pause to marvel at his body, then hugged him. I breathed with contentment. He felt amazing to touch. He put his arm around me.

“Hey, there,” he said. “You like my body?”

“I love it,” I sighed dreamily.

“I like yours,” he said.

I could tell he had been wanting to confess that for a while.

“Thank you,” was all I could reply.

Without hesitating, he pulled downward on the back of my kimono. But, because it was so heavy, it didn’t come all the way off. Instead, it slid gently off my shoulders and revealed my full chest. I moved off of his body, but kept my arms around him. I noticed he was staring at it. He had never seen my breasts before, so I let him look. But, after a few seconds, I realized that he seemed… sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“That scar,” he said quietly. “I gave it to you.”

He was referring to the scar that went from my right shoulder down to my left breast. He did give me that scar, when he became a demon at the end of the final battle. As I was giving him Lady Tamayo’s medicine, he slashed me. The scar was prominent, too. But, I didn’t want him to think of that now, with what was about to happen. So, I pulled the rest of the kimono completely off myself. I stood there just in my underwear now. I placed both hands on his face.

“Tanjiro, I don’t even realize that scar is there sometimes,” I assured him. “I never think about it. If I held what you did as a demon against you, would this whole day have happened?”

He gently ran his hand up my back.

“No, it wouldn’t have.”

“Exactly.” I stroked his cheek. “That happened long ago, and it was not your fault. This is what’s happening now.”

He nodded, then pulled my hairpin out. My hair fell freely down past my shoulders. He smiled again. Now my hands were on the move. I undid his belt and pants buckle. With them off, he pulled me closer. There were two finishing touches. We briefly hesitated. But, our chests were against each other, and our hearts were speeding. We both wanted it, and we’d both been wanting it for a long time. Now, it was finally happening. There was no more time to think. I could barely think, anyway. After a minute, we both just took our underwear off ourselves. We took each other in, and let our hands explore.

I had one hand in his gorgeous hair. My other was wrapped around his shoulders. I could feel all his muscles. He placed his hand on my back again. Our gazes were locked on each other. His eyes were calming, and everything felt right.

“I’m ready,” I whispered in his ear.

“Me, too.”

I leaned backwards. He leaned forwards.

I stared at the ceiling. I couldn’t speak. I was mesmerized by the glow I felt in my body. His hand was in my hair, and he gently ran his fingers through the strands. Every once in a while, his fingers gingerly brushed the back of my neck. I was covered in a light sweat, like a glisten. I had been staring at the same spot on the ceiling for some time. I wasn’t sure how long we’d been lying there like that. I had been perfectly content listening to the sound of our breathing. I slowly turned my head towards him. His eyes were closed, and his face was turned upwards. He wore a tranquil smile. The blanket was partially hanging off the bed, as if one of us had thrown it. But, I couldn’t remember either of us doing that. The knuckles on my left hand rested against his chest. My right hand lay across my stomach. His bad arm was on the opposite side, just flopped lazily on the bed. I figured that was why he rolled to my left. I inhaled slowly and finally gave a small, peaceful, “hm.” It was only then that he turned towards me. He slowly opened his eyes, but only halfway. His smile inched a little wider. He kept stroking my hair.

“Hey, there,” he whispered, like he was just finding his voice, too.

“Hello,” I answered back.

“You okay?”

“Yes, I… I feel just fine.”

I felt indescribable.

“Fine is good.”

“What about you?”

“I’m also pretty fine.”

“Do you feel like there’s a bright sun inside you?” I asked.

“I was actually going to call it a flower.”

“Why a flower?”

“Because, everything just bloomed.”

I let out a small giggle. I felt his hand move down my shoulders. It came to rest just under my breast. I couldn’t take my gaze off him if I tried. His eyelids fluttered. He must’ve been tired, and I didn’t blame him. He worked hard. He did well for his first time. I was still incredulous. I wondered how he knew what to do. Knowing him, he probably studied it rigorously. I moved my hand up closer to his face now. He opened his eyes again as he felt my knuckles move over his skin. After all this time, I was still amazed by the lovely deep red of his eyes. I wanted to tell him that, but I still found myself mostly tongue-tied.

“Your hair is lovely when it’s down,” he mused.

“I told you it’s long,” I whispered back.

“It smells good.”

“You have a scent, too, you know.”

He chuckled. “What do I smell like?”

“I can’t describe it,” I said. “But, it’s probably all over me right now.”

He put his face closer to my hair. He breathed in deeply, like he was indulging me.

“I still only smell you. It’s so sweet, so soothing.”

“How did you end up with such a good nose?”

“Just born with it.”

“You’re blessed in so many ways,” I sighed, rubbing him under his chin.

He smiled, slowly realized what else I was talking about, then blushed and buried his face in my neck. Even now, he still got shy. It was adorable.

“I wish my family could’ve seen tonight,” he said, but not sadly.

“They were with us in spirit,” I assured him.

“My mother would’ve cried. She would’ve wept as hard as Nezuko,” he chuckled. “My brother, Takeo, would’ve made fun of me all day, and my brother, Shigeru, would’ve just wanted to get to the food.”

“Kanae would have cried. I’m not sure what Shinobu would’ve done.”

“She would’ve been happy for you.”

“They all would’ve been happy for us.”

“There were many spirits watching us tonight,” he said, closing his eyes again.

“Hopefully they weren’t watching us just now, though,” I laughed.

“Heh. Yeah.”

His index finger moved around my breast. I didn’t mind it at all. It actually felt soothing. He could’ve touched me anywhere at this point. I slightly shifted my weight.

“I like that,” I told him.

“Okay.”

“Do you like this?” I asked, continuing to rub his chin.

“Yes, I like that very much.”

We both took a deep breath. I didn’t think we would end up talking this much. I was glad we were. Everything was so natural when we were together.

“The family is giving us the house to ourselves for a few days,” Tanjiro said after a pause. “We’ll have a week of privacy.”

“That was nice of them,” I said. “But, where are they going?”

He thought for a minute. He opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

“That’s… a good question…”

We both started chuckling. Then, I finally found my movement and rolled over towards him. My left hand stayed on his shoulder, and my right hand landed on his chest. His body was truly amazing. I was still thinking about the way he had felt on me, and the way he felt inside. He slid his fingers up and down my spine ever so softly. It sent pleasant tremors through my back. I leaned in so that our noses touched. Our eyes were even closer now. I could see every one of his eyelashes, which I realized were very long. He was unbelievably handsome. I liked that he kept his earrings on. He really never took them off. I’d been astonished to find out how long they had been in his family. He was so rooted to tradition, and I loved that about him. There was so much that I loved, and I knew I could never tell him everything. But, he clearly saw what I loved with his heart.

“I love you, Tanjiro.”

“I love you, too, Kanao Kamado.”

My heart skipped a beat. What… what did he say? The words spun around in my brain. I repeated them silently, and they bounced on my lips so pleasantly. Those words were my name. It was my new name, but it sounded so familiar. Maybe I had heard them in my head for much longer before this moment. I started to feel like I was glowing again, but this time it came from my heart. I just kept looking into his eyes. I thought back to the moment I felt my heart officially turn, after he flipped my coin in the air. I thought of how I had longed for him on every mission, how my heart used to stop if I saw him around the mansion. I remembered how much I had loved falling a little deeper every time. Still, I never could have imagined that we would actually make it to this moment. And, so, I was transfixed on the face of this young man, the love of my life. He smiled at me, and my happy tears started to fall again.

I slid my hands up to his cheeks and kissed him. He responded so lovingly and delicately. He moved slightly, and our knees gently bumped together. My long hair fell in our faces. I could feel the light sweat on his skin and in his hair, his abs against my stomach, and his heart beating against my chest. Every last inch of him was sacred. Never in my life had I ever felt so beautiful. Every second of this day had been beautiful. But, the most beautiful part of it all was not the fact that we were married now. It was not the physical love we had just made. It was the fact that we had the chance to make a future for ourselves, together. I was a part of his family now, and I was overjoyed. Kanao Kamado. I loved it already.

Chapter Text

Adulthood

Times Change

I remembered my wedding in full detail. I remembered the banter I had with Inosuke and Zenitsu while we were getting dressed. I remembered how I felt like I was going to faint at least six times. I remembered the reception and every last congratulations we received. However, none of it stood out in my mind more clearly than the breathtaking beauty who came to meet me on the bridge. Then, she danced with me. Then, she held me all through the night. We woke up the next morning with our arms still entwined. Our wedding clothes were still on the floor where we left them. I was still half-asleep, my eyes barely open, and the first thing I saw was her face. And, I knew that I would never forget, for as long as I lived, how she gingerly ran her finger over my cheek and whispered, Good morning.

When Kanao and I finally got out of bed, we found our clothes washed and pressed for us waiting outside the door. We ate breakfast alone together. Sumi, Kiyo, and Naho were nowhere to be found, although they had to have still been there. All of our guests had left, including the rest of the found family. We had the entire day to just be with each other, and we had the whole mansion to ourselves. We visited every grave of our comrades who died in the final battle. It took all afternoon, but we were both happy. Kanao paid her respects to Kanae and Shinobu. She did it quietly, but I held her hand and stayed with her the entire time. Lastly, we rode home in a car that Kiriya had arranged for us. When we got home, we had the house to ourselves for a week. The rest of the found family stayed in the next village over. Our week to ourselves was blissful, too. We ate lots of good food and went to sleep every night in our bed. We talked to my family on the first night. We even took a bath together. That, in particular, was wonderful. She’d been gleefully excited to wash my hair. And, following the wedding, I found myself looking in the mirror often. I could actually see myself as the handsome man Kanao said I was. I definitely felt a boost of confidence that week. We were still happy to have everyone back. Nezuko bought us a present, even though we hadn’t even asked for anything from our wedding guests. It was a very nice serving platter, and she had clearly spent a sum on it. I was completely floored. I had the greatest sister, too.

It had been two and a half months since the wedding. Other than the fact that Kanao and I both had rings on our fingers and were sleeping in the same room now, everything else about life in the house was the same as always. We had all gone back to work. Aoi earned the official title of doctor. She came home and proudly referred to herself as “Dr. Kanzaki.” Inosuke asked her what that meant.

“It means I’m the boss now, dear,” she explained.

“OH, SWEET!” Inosuke exclaimed.

He immediately hugged her tightly and then flung her over his shoulder.

“Ino…SUKE!” Aoi protested, but with a smile. “This is excessive! Put me down!”

Zenitsu showed us the first part of his manuscript at lunch one day. He was very proud of it and sat with a big grin as we looked at it.

“You actually signed it as ‘Zenitsu Agatsuma,’” Nezuko noted. “Why didn’t you use your pseudonym?”

“I didn’t use it because this is a true story, sweetie,” Zenitsu explained. “But, don’t worry, everyone else’s name is changed in the book.”

“Hey!” Inosuke interjected. “Doesn’t that mean that it’s all about you?”

“It’s to protect your identity!” Zenitsu huffed. “Unless you want me to plaster your name all over history!”

“That’s what I’ve ALWAYS wanted!” Inosuke roared.

Then, the two of them started to bicker back and forth. I shook my head with a smile. I turned to my wife sitting next to me, who was chuckling. I truly wished that these carefree days would last forever, and now Kanao was forever part of them. I still couldn’t believe it, but it was happy, blissful disbelief.

The next morning, I didn’t have to be at the council building as early as usual. Now that I was eighteen, they were talking about promoting me to an official councilman. I hoped that they didn’t do it soon, though. I needed my life to slow down for a while. I got to sleep in for an extra hour and a half, which was wonderful. However, it was nearing time to get up. I had to wake up Kanao first, because she was sprawled out on top of me. Her head rested on my chest. We usually fell asleep holding each other, but then she didn’t move in her sleep. As a result, I often woke up to find her still rolled over on me. It was a struggle on every morning I had to go to work, but also wonderful.

I tapped her gently on her shoulder. “Hey, Kanao? I have to get up.”

“Hmmm…?”

“I have to get up and go to work now. That means you have to move.”

“Sure,” she said.

After three more minutes, she still didn’t move.

“Is it all right if I move you?” I asked her.

“Uh-huh.”

I gently placed my hand on her waist and rolled us both over. She flopped softly onto her back, still asleep. She looked so peaceful. I felt bad leaving when she was still asleep sometimes, but it wasn’t like she didn’t know where I was going.

We had made love the night before. Neither of us liked getting dressed again afterward. There was just something so wonderful about being naked together. But, I still didn’t like seeing the scar across her chest. I had scars across my chest, too. Kanao once told me that she thought they were attractive. I wasn’t sure what to make of that, considering that they were reminders of a struggle that had claimed so many lives. But, we just thought of it differently. Just like Kanao told me that she barely thought of her scar, I barely thought of mine. The difference between us was that Kanao’s scar was from something that I did. It was something that I was never sure if I could forgive myself for. No matter how many times she told me it didn’t matter to her and that it wasn’t my fault, the guilt never went away. However, as much as I didn’t like seeing her scar, it never affected our intimacy.

Kanao always helped me get dressed if she was awake, but she did not look like she’d be getting up anytime soon. I decided to just let her sleep and dressed myself. It took much longer when she didn’t help me, though. It was now the middle of January, but it was warm inside the house. The six of us were collectively bringing in more money. Aoi’s promotion helped us a lot, and Zenitsu’s poetry collections were also selling much better now. Kanao had sold a few of her smaller blankets. We liked our simple life, though. We didn’t need anything fancy to be happy.

“Did you say something?” Kanao finally murmured, her eyelids fluttering awake.

“Yes, I have to go to work. But, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” she sighed. “But, you’re forgetting something.”

I smiled, then went back over to the bed and kissed her. She smiled pleasantly and then went right back to sleep. I laughed. Sometimes she woke up bright and early with me, and other days were like this. So far, being married was great.

At work, Mr. Takeda approached me about a possible promotion. He stressed how much everyone respected me and how I had done quality work. I felt bad about it, but I declined.

“I’m honored to receive the offer, Mr. Takeda,” I told him. “But, this isn’t the right time. I just got married. To introduce such another big change in my life so soon would be a lot.”

“I understand,” Mr. Takeda replied. “I’ll give you one month to decide.”

I knew that I could really use the increase of salary. The only problem was that it would mean an increase of hours, which would not only take me away from Kanao, but also away from the rest of the found family. I thought if I passed up the promotion, the council may never offer it to me again. But, then again, I was still the only subordinate. I didn’t have any rivals. I was a bit distracted that day at work. Still, I had to be a man. So, when I got home, I went over the options with Kanao.

“You could have another day off with this one,” she said, pointing at the paper. “But, that would also mean you wouldn’t come home until very late on these two days. It’s just those two, though.”

“And, with this one, every day would be shorter, but I’d have to make up time for it on a weekend every other week,” I added. “I don’t know, Kanao. Right now I’m leaning to the second one, even though I would hate doing the extra day every two weeks. I need to have a steady job, but I also need to make time for you and everyone. I’m just not sure which of these options is going to give the most possible time at home.”

“You know, you don’t have to make this leap right away,” Kanao said. “I know you’re worried about money, but we’ve done just fine with what we have. What are you so afraid of? You’re trying to rush again.”

“I’m just thinking forward,” I replied. “This family is going to grow. Our family is going to grow.”

Kanao gasped. I finally addressed what she had wanted to talk to me about for months. I knew she had started thinking about it long before we got engaged. I had wanted to keep it in the background for as long as possible, but I’d been thinking about it for a while, too. Now that we were married, I finally felt like it was appropriate.

“Tanjiro…” she breathed. “When… were you thinking?”

“Well, I don’t think it should be soon,” I said, although there was the glaring fact that I was on a time limit. “I’m just saying that, if that’s what we want, then money is going to become even more important. But, so will being with you. That’s why I’m so torn right now. I just don’t know if he’ll offer me the position again.”

Kanao flung her arms around me with joy and buried her face in my shoulder. I put the paper down on the table so I could embrace her.

“Hey, there,” I said, rubbing her back. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just so happy that you want to have a family,” she replied, crying now.

“I do, but there’s lots of things to think about before that happens,” I told her. “I’m going to give this more thought tomorrow, okay? It’s my turn to cook tonight. What would you like?”

“I want something with pork in it, like sukiyaki,” she answered with a sniffle. “But, see what everyone else wants, too.”

“Okay,” I said, then buried my nose in her shoulder, too.

I just couldn’t get enough of her scent. It seemed like she smelled better every year.

I was always a forward thinker. I had to be for so many years as a slayer. I truly did want to have a family, but I had to make sure we were financially set first. I couldn’t rely on money from the found family to raise my own family. But, I had a month to think about it. I figured that I would spend a little bit each day considering it, and eventually I would come to a decision. I did end up making sukiyaki for dinner, to everyone’s delight, not just Kanao’s. Later, as I was cleaning up, I heard Nezuko and Zenitsu’s voices out back by the garden. Nezuko was giggling uncontrollably. I scrubbed the plates harder so that I wouldn’t eavesdrop on them, but they were just too loud.

“Sweetie, your hands are so warm!” Nezuko squealed. “You make this cold day so much better. But, shouldn’t we go inside now?”

“But, look, it started snowing!” Zenitsu cheered. “It’s magical! Just stay out here with me for a while, my love!”

My ears felt weird overhearing them. I remembered that Zenitsu told me that things had gotten awkward between the two of them for a while, though. I cared about my sister’s happiness and I cared about Zenitsu’s too, so I was at least glad that things seemed to be better. Zenitsu had been so supportive at my wedding. He came up with the flute idea all by himself. He told me he had just found it in the mansion somewhere, and it worked. The connection between the six of us was extremely important if we were all going to stay in one house.

“I can’t wait for spring,” Zenitsu went on. “I can make you flower crowns with the white clover. You liked that, didn’t you, honey?”

“I did!” Nezuko replied. “And, sweetie, I still can’t thank you enough for what you did at brother’s wedding. Please, know that the two of you will always be friends!”

I stopped scrubbing the plates. What did she mean by that? Had Zenitsu still been upset with me at the wedding? He hadn’t shown that at all. When he and Inosuke were helping me get dressed, he had playfully bombarded me with sentences that included the words “husband” and “wife” to prepare me for the rest of the day. It actually made me feel a lot better, and the two of us and Inosuke had laughed genuinely. So, what was Nezuko talking about? If I approached her about it later, she would’ve known that I was listening. I was conflicted all over again. But, my main concern was the promotion at work. After that was resolved, and if nothing else happened, then I could help Zenitsu if he needed it. It occurred to me that I hadn’t done anything with just him and Inosuke in a while. A lot had happened to me in the last year. I couldn’t hear Nezuko and Zenitsu’s voices anymore, which meant they had moved away from the back door… or they were kissing. I didn’t mind at all that they kissed. It was how they kissed that bothered me. And, there was the fact that they were public about it. Zenitsu was aware that Nezuko was my sister, wasn’t he? I shook my head to get the bad thoughts out. That was exactly why I made a point of being private with Kanao.

After I was done in the kitchen, I went back to my room. Kanao was kneeling on our bed, holding the papers Mr. Takeda gave me close to her face so she could read. She was wearing her pink night kimono, and her hair was down.

“Tanjiro, I took a look at these again. The first, harder option gets you a better deal now, but this second one actually benefits you even more in the long run. If you take the promotion now and choose that one, you could start building up.”

“How much better would it be?”

“I’m not sure, you’d have to ask Mr. Takeda about it to know for certain,” Kanao replied. “Would that make you feel better?”

“Yes, it would,” I replied. “I’ll ask him about it tomorrow.”

Kanao put the paper to the side. I had been meaning to get some more small furnishings in our room, especially since there were two people in it now. However, our wedding had cost a large sum of our savings. That was another reason I was so worried about money.

“What are you doing?” Kanao asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you ready for bed?”

I smiled. “Yes.”

She stood up gracefully and walked over to me. She had finally come up with the perfect way to get my shirt over my bad arm. It came off with ease now. She pulled it over my head in one swift motion, which made my earrings rattle.

“Anything else?” Kanao asked.

“I think we talked about it enough for today.”

“I meant your clothes.”

She was eyeing me very playfully. She was hard to resist. I returned another playful smile and pulled her in close. Her hands went straight to their favorite spot - my hair.

“Look at you, Kanao Kamado,” I teased. “Look at us.”

“I know, who knew either of us could ever get this way?”

“You know I have to be at work at my normal time tomorrow, right?”

“Yes,” she replied. “What about it?”

My blood circulation was speeding. There was no going back now. Would it really affect anything if we were up late? I usually slept pretty soundly.

“On second thought, it doesn’t matter,” I decided.

I pulled the loose end of her kimono and it fell to the floor. Our lips came right together. We usually weren’t intimate every night, but this week had been an outlier for some reason. She swiftly undid my pants. We were in the sheets in an instant.

What Kanao didn’t know was that her scent changed over the course of the month. It was something all women did. I could immediately tell what each change correlated to at this point. Before, I had used this knowledge just to know when she might be emotional and prepare for it. Now, I used it to plan our intimacy. She had no idea I could do this, and I was not planning on telling her. We couldn’t have a child yet, as much as we both wanted to have a family. This was what I could do to prevent it from happening too soon, or at least try to. But, I wasn’t going to think about it now. Her hand slid down my back. Her other hand was in mine. I just focused on how it felt, and it felt good.

The next day, Mr. Takeda was not at work. The other councilmen said that he was out of office for a health-related reason. The day after was my day off. I should have been relieved, but I was actually a little anxious. At breakfast, I was deep in thought. I had spent at least two hours looking over my two options the previous night after Kanao had fallen asleep. I realized that everyone at the table was staring at me, so I looked up. Some of them looked confused. Nezuko looked concerned.

“Um, brother?” she said. “You keep picking up a bite of rice and then not eating it.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“You still need to eat,” Nezuko continued.

I popped several bites of rice in my mouth. I was hungry, I just couldn’t put my thoughts together. Maybe I was treating it like it was a bigger deal than it was, though.

“Tanjiro, you seem stressed,” Aoi said. “If you feel like you’re getting a fever, you can use the medicine I have in the kitchen cabinet.”

“Thanks for the offer, Aoi, but I’m really fine,” I replied. “I’m just thinking a lot about my promotion offer."


The table gasped. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t told any of them.

“You’ve been promoted again?” Nezuko exclaimed. “Brother, that’s amazing!”

“Well, I haven’t taken anything yet,” I said. “And, there’s a lot I have to consider before I choose which one.”

“This is amazing!” Nezuko kept on squealing. “We should have another feast!”

“Really, Nezuko, I don’t want to celebrate anything just yet,” I said. “Mr. Takeda gave me a month to decide.”

“Did he tell you about this already, Kanao?” Zenitsu suddenly asked.

The rest of the table got quiet.

“Yes,” Kanao answered. “He told me the day he received it.”

“Gotcha,” Zenitsu said.

I raised an eyebrow. It had sounded like an accusation. But, Zenitsu didn’t say anything else. After we cleaned up breakfast, he actually approached me, now with a big grin on his face.

“Hey, Tanjiro,” he said. “I’ve been thinking. It’s friggin’ cold out there! You wanna go to the onsen this afternoon? Just us guys.”

I perked up and grinned back. “That actually sounds great! I can’t remember the last time I went to an onsen.”

Inosuke suddenly appeared next to us. He was brimming with excitement.

“Ooh, ooh! I wanna go to an onsen, too!”

“Sure!” Zenitsu exclaimed, then he put an arm around both of us. “I know we all love our ladies, but we gotta take some time to ourselves, too.”

It was true. It had been a while since the three of us hung out together. And, so, later that afternoon, we went to the onsen outside the village. We had undressed and were soaking in the water. Inosuke was splashing around like a little kid.

“Hey, you know this isn’t for swimming, right?” Zenitsu called out to him.

I laughed. “He’s totally fine. Just let him.”

“IT’S SO WARM!” Inosuke cheered. “THE STEAM IN MY EYES IS AWESOME!”

I leaned up against the back of the bath wall and put my arm up on the ledge. Lifting my bad arm took a lot of effort, but I managed to put it up, too. My hand just hung limply over the side. I was actually very relaxed, and I was glad to be spending some time with my friends. I sat there in silence with Zenitsu just watching Inosuke, then Zenitsu turned his head toward me.

“You don’t take it off in the bath?”

I looked back at him. “Huh? You mean my earrings? I never take them off.”

“No, I meant your wedding ring.”

“Oh. I never take that off, either.”

“It’s not going to get tarnished?”

“The metal’s treated so it doesn’t.”

“I see.” He grew quiet again.

“This is actually nice,” I said happily. “We haven’t done anything together in a while. So much has happened in the last year.”

“Yep, you’ve been a busy guy.”

“I know,” I sighed happily. “But, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

“That’s good.”

“How have you been, Zenitsu?”

“I’m good. Nezuko and I have a date tomorrow!”

“A date where?”

“We’re gonna make it up as we go along!”

I laughed. “Those are the best kinds. And, how’s your book coming along?”

“I thought it would be easy to write because it’s a true story,” he said. “But, sometimes it gets kind of emotional, you know? There’s some stuff that I don’t like to remember, but I also feel as if our story should be told.”

“I completely understand that,” I responded. “There’s a lot that I don’t like to remember, either. In the end, it was all worth it, though. We have such a peaceful life now.”

“We earned it,” Zenitsu said.

“Yes,” I sighed bittersweetly. “Now, we can just live.”

Inosuke swam over to us. “What’s a date?”

“Huh?” Zenitsu asked. “You and Aoi go on plenty of dates.”

“We do?”

“A date is when you spend time with the person you love,” I explained. “You can spend it however you want. All that matters is that you’re together.”

“Ohhhhhh,” Inosuke said. “She never calls them ‘dates.’”

“I’m glad that you and Aoi are still going strong,” I added with a smile.

“Heh, heh, yeah!” Inosuke exclaimed. “She’s awesome! When she actually looks at me, it makes my skin crawl with this feeling that I don’t even know, but it’s like, a good kind of crawl. I like the way she cooks and the way she wrapped up my arm when I banged it up last month. She calls me ‘dear’ all the time, and it sounds kinda prissy, but I actually love it! Then, I get this awesome feeling in my gut, you know, my gut!”

Zenitsu and I both stared at Inosuke for a while, then glanced at each other with raised eyebrows.

“Ummm…” Zenitsu droned. “All guys get that, but, too much information…”

“Woooooow,” Inosuke mused.

“But, um, how have you been besides all that, Inosuke?” I laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck.

“I tell ya, man, I am the absolute best charcoal burner EVER!” Inosuke boasted. “I sell out every time!”

“Do… you still intimidate people into buying it?” I asked nervously.

“What?!?! No! But seriously, everyone knows me now! And, I can split logs in seconds now! OOOH! I should show Aoi! She loves my strength, even though she never says that. I can tell, though.”

Zenitsu facepalmed and groaned. But, we did have a nice rest of the bath. When we were drying off, Zenitsu came up to me again.

“I’m glad you’re up for this promotion, but you could’ve told us about it sooner. It affects the whole family.”

“I told you two days later,” I answered, drying my hair. “It’s kind of complicated. And, of course I’m going to tell these things to Kanao before anyone else.”

“Oh, that’s totally understandable,” Zenitsu said. “I just wanna be all on the same page.”

“That’s all right. I’m glad you came up with the idea to come here today. Thank you.”

I really was thankful, but I was getting suspicious.

“No problem. We should do guy stuff more often,” Zenitsu said.

“Yeah, we should,” I worked up a smile. “But, just one thing, Zenitsu.”

“Uh-huh?”

“A lot of things are changing. You and Inosuke will always be my best friends, but Kanao is going to come first in a lot of ways now. I will still make time for everyone, but she’s my wife. You understand that, right?”

“I do.”

For the moment, it was a secret that Kanao and I wanted a family. The two of us hadn’t talked about it since the last time, but I knew she wanted to. If I wasn’t talking about it with her seriously, then I couldn’t share it with anyone else, either. That was just courtesy. Maybe Zenitsu felt like I was ditching him. I hadn’t even seen much of my sister in the months following my wedding, but she wasn’t holding it against me. There was so much going through my head all at once. The onsen was relaxing, but I was tired by the end of the day. I yawned at the dinner table. It was unlike me. While Nezuko cheerfully asked us how the onsen was, all I could think about was going to sleep.

I was lying in the bed with my shirt off, but Kanao and I weren’t intimate that night. She understood I was tired. She was curled up next to me in her night kimono tracing her finger in a circle on my chest. I liked that a lot. It was soothing. I was almost asleep, but I could still hear her voice in my ear.

“You will get to the bottom of this soon,” she assured me. “Mr. Takeda will probably be back in the morning.”

“Why am I so impatient these days?”

“For so long you were used to constantly being in action,” she suggested. “Now you have the chance to slow down.”

“I love this peaceful life.”

“I know you do. Some things are just hard to unlearn.”

She kissed my cheek. I was too exhausted to kiss her back. I squeezed her hand instead. I always slept on the right side of the bed so I could hold her hand. I yawned again.

“Just go to sleep, Tanjiro,” Kanao whispered. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I muttered and was instantly asleep.

I dreamt about my family. It was about the day my youngest brother, Rokuta, was born. I was ten years old at the time. I remembered my mother lying in bed, holding the tiny baby. My father knelt next to her, holding her against him. For some reason, the faces of my other siblings were blurred out. I could only see the faces of my father, mother, and Rokuta. In the dream, I was very aware of how I resembled my father almost exactly. His face was different and his hair was much longer, but he had the same red highlights and red eyes. He wore my earrings in the dream, as they were his before they were mine. Ten year old me was in awe of my father, as well as my mother holding Rokuta. My father leaned over and kissed my mother on the top of her forehead, while baby Rokuta cried healthily in her arms. I noticed tears in my father’s eyes. My father had six children, but the birth of each one was as magical to him as the first. It was only a dream, but I felt warm and peaceful.

When I woke up the next morning for work, Kanao was not asleep on top of me. Instead, she was flat on her back, but with her hand still clasped in mine. No matter what, she couldn’t let me go. It made me smile. She’d always wanted to be with me until the last possible second. We hadn’t talked about my curse in a while. The joy of the wedding and being married now was all I had been able to think of for the past few months. However, it was impossible to think forward without being aware of the curse. I rubbed Kanao’s hand with my thumb. That woke her up.

“Tanjiro?”

“I’m going to work now,” I said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Do you want your kiss?”

“Always,” I whispered sweetly, and met her lips.

She was going to be a wonderful mother.

As it turned out, Mr. Takeda was very sick. So, after two more days, I talked to one of the other councilmen, Mr. Uotani, about the promotion options.

“Both of these will give you the same pay, it’s just about which of the schedules works best for you,” he explained.

“Well, I’m worried that neither schedule is good for my situation,” I told him honestly.

“Did something happen?”

“I’m still living in one house with five other people, and we’re all making ends meet as a group,” I reminded him. “Also, I just got married.”

“You did?” Mr. Uotani exclaimed. “How old are you again?”

“I’m eighteen.”

“Amazing,” gasped Mr. Uotani. “You’re so young and yet already so responsible. Many young men could take an example from you, Kamado.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “But, responsibility is just what I’m worried about. I have to have the money to take care of my family, meaning all six of us in the house, but especially my wife. At the same time, I have to be there for them all, again especially for my wife. I’m honored and I want to take the promotion, but there has to be another way we can work this schedule.”

“Well, Mr. Takeda is your supervisor, and it would be unwise to try and configure a new plan without him,” thought Mr. Uotani. “As far as I’m concerned, he’s on the mend, so my guess is that he’ll be back in tomorrow or the day after.”

I felt like exploding with impatience, but I kept it together. I thanked Mr. Uotani for his help and went back to the office to start locking up.

“Hey, Kamado,” Mr. Uotani called after me.

“Yes?” I said and turned my head.

“What’s your wife’s name?”

“Kanao,” I replied.

“How did you meet her?”

“My previous job,” I answered.

“Give her my regards.”

“Thank you, I will.”

There were four councilmen in the village, Mr. Takeda, Mr. Uotani, Mr. Suzuki, and Mr. Fukuhara. They really didn’t need to take on a fifth member, they all just liked me. I guessed that they were also forward thinkers, just like I was, and they were trying to prepare for the long run, too. They were also all aware of my popularity in the village, and I guessed they saw that as an advantage. I still was uncomfortable with my celebrity status, as it was all for the wrong reasons. There was no way the villagers could know how much I had suffered along my journey. I didn’t want to be a hero. I just wanted to be myself, and I was just happy to be home.

The walk home from the council building went all the way through the village. When I clocked out, it was snowing. It looked very pretty. Passersby would usually call out to me, and I was always polite and waved. I walked past Mr. Inamoto’s jewelry store, where I bought Kanao’s engagement ring. It was closed, although it was normally open, even this late. I still remembered the day I impulsively went in and bought the ring.

“Oh, hey, Tanjiro,” Mr. Inamoto had greeted me. “What brings you in here today?”

I had pretty much slammed the money down on the front desk.

“This is all I’ve got! What’s the nicest engagement ring I can get with it?”

I chuckled at the memory. Mr. Inamoto pulled out a box of bands and stones. I mixed and matched them endlessly until I finally settled on the one I ended up getting. I had almost no spare change left over after I paid. I still wished I could’ve gotten her a nicer one, but seeing the joy on her face on the night I proposed to her was worth far more. Our actual wedding rings were gifts from Kiriya, and were a lot nicer. My hand was stuffed into my pants pocket because of the cold, while my bad hand, which had the ring on it, hung carelessly at my side. It couldn’t feel the cold, and it couldn’t feel the ring, either. But, I had watched Kanao slip it on, and the memory was in my brain forever. I could easily turn my head and look at it, and I often did.

At the next closed storefront, I stopped and looked at my reflection in the dark window. I couldn’t believe how tall I had gotten, though I probably wasn’t going to grow anymore. My face was changing, too. I was older now, and I looked like a man. I smiled at myself. It was quite an amazing feeling. But, the most amazing thing about it was that I was ready, and being ready also felt amazing in itself. I straightened up for the first time that whole week and continued home. On the way, I ran into Hideki, who was slightly drunk.

“Oh, look! It’s Tanjiro!”

He tripped over his own foot on his way over to me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Hello, Hideki. You okay?”

“I’m fine!” Hideki cheered. “Say, where’s your girlfriend? You two… you didn’t break up with her, did you?”

“Actually, Hideki, I married her, and she’s at home waiting for me, so I gotta go.”

Hideki just looked at me wide-eyed and stopped his tracks. I didn’t have time for him. But, as I was walking back up the mountain, I tried to think about what I would tell Kanao. I still technically hadn’t reached any conclusion on the promotion. I sighed. I couldn’t wait to get home and fall into her arms. I seriously did feel like literally falling. As I got near the house, I could smell dinner. It was Aoi’s turn to cook that night, and she was by far the best cook out of all of us. I could hear laughter from inside. Inosuke was cackling hysterically about something. A smile returned to my lips, but it was a nervous one. Inosuke cackling could either be really good, or really bad.

When I got inside, Zenitsu and Inosuke, sans boar hide, were sitting opposite each other at the table. They were playing a card game. I had never seen Inosuke play cards before. Zenitsu was visibly frustrated, and Inosuke was hoarding a mountain of coins. He was obviously clearing Zenitsu out. Inosuke threw down his hand and cheered.

“Hahahahahaha! I win again!”

“Dammit, Aoi!” Zenitsu grumbled and facepalmed.

“This was your idea?” I asked Aoi as I walked through the door.

“Unfortunately, yes,” she replied, shaking her head. “I thought teaching him how to play would instill a little patience in him, but once he realized that you get money for winning, he took it to another whole level.”

“I learned from the BEST!” Inosuke shouted and turned around to beam at Aoi.

Aoi’s cheeks turned deep pink and she hid a smile. Inosuke had made leaps and bounds since they finally started dating. Inosuke had always wanted to be the best at everything, but now it was clear that he thought Aoi was the best thing in the entire world.

“Where’s Kanao? And Nezuko?” I asked.

“They took a walk,” Aoi replied. “I’m positive they came back, because they knew dinner would be ready. But, I haven’t seen them.”

Then, as if on cue, Nezuko and Kanao came through the back door. They had their arms looped together, and their faces were red from the cold. They were laughing with each other and seemed very happy. However, it looked like Nezuko’s eyes were red, too. It may have been just from the cold, but she looked like she may have been crying. I had a worried gut feeling, but for the time being decided that it was just my imagination.

“Ooh, Aoi, dinner smells great!” Nezuko exclaimed. “How long until it’s ready?”

Her voice sounded genuinely happy, at least.

“Not long,” Aoi answered. “Where did you guys go?”

“We walked on the path that circles around,” Kanao answered. “Let’s go just the three of us sometime, when you don’t have to cook, Aoi.”

“I like that idea,” Aoi said.

“Hey, brother!” Nezuko called to me. “Kanao and I were talking about sister-in-law stuff. You would’ve found it boring, but we thought it was fun.”

“I’m glad,” I replied.

I loved that Kanao and Nezuko had such a great relationship.

Kanao came over and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. We had decided that was okay to do in front of others. Hugging was also acceptable. Kissing passionately and noisily while lying on the couch and trying to hide under two pillows was not acceptable - which was something that Nezuko and Zenitsu actually did once. Thankfully, I didn’t catch them, Aoi did.

After dinner, Kanao quickly slipped out to the garden. I thought that would be the perfect time to update her about the promotion, so I went out, too. She was kneeling on the ground next to a big hole near Nezuko’s garden. She was looking at the snow on the ground very carefully, as if she were looking for something hidden.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“Just making sure Kaburamaru is in his hole,” she answered. “Isn’t he so smart? He dug himself this burrow and actually knows he has to return to it every night.”

“That’s impressive,” I answered cheerfully. “And, I know Nezuko has been happy about not having any mice around her vegetables.”

Finally, we saw Kaburamaru’s white head poke out of his burrow. He flicked his tongue at us, as if to say hello.

“There,” she sighed in relief. “What did Mr. Uotani say today?”

She stood and turned toward me. She looked at me expectantly, but I didn’t have much.

“Um, let’s just say that it’s possible to come up with a new schedule, or at least tweak the one that you thought was better,” I answered. “But, I still can’t get any real answers without Mr. Takeda.”

“It’s going to be all right, Tanjiro,” she said, taking my hand. “You’re overthinking. We talked about how you don’t need to think like a demon slayer anymore.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She leaned in and gave me a real kiss on my lips this time. I’d been waiting for that kiss all day, and I could tell that she had been, too. We were outside in the cold January air, but being with her made everything warmer.

“Do you want love tonight?” Kanao whispered.

“No, not tonight,” I answered.

She wasn’t at her peak yet, but I was also mentally drained from work.

“That’s okay,” she said.

She reached up and touched my forehead suddenly. Whenever she touched my forehead, she made a point of not touching the side the mark was on. I was confused, but she furrowed her brow like she thought something was wrong.

“Um… Kanao…?”

“You feel warm,” she said.

“Like I’m sick?”

“Your palm is warm, so I checked your forehead,” Kanao explained. “Aoi will know if you’re coming down with something, and she’ll give you medicine to stop it right away.”

“Kanao, I don’t have a fever.”

“Just check with Aoi,” she said more assertively. “It will make me feel better. Also, if Mr. Takeda is sick, then there could be something going around.”

I sighed, but I did go to Aoi right before bed. She turned one of the closets in the house into a very small temporary at-home office. She checked my pulse, did a few other tests, then sat back in her chair.

“You don’t have a fever, but what I told you the other day is true. Stress can cause them,” she said. “You should still be careful.”

“Kanao isn’t usually jumpy like that,” I said. “What was that about?”

Aoi laughed. “You two are still very much in the newlyweds phase. Believe me, it’s a real state of mind. Your senses get heightened, and you’re hyper-vigilant about each other. So, she’s just worried about you getting sick. Don’t you think you’d be the same way?”

“Heh,” I chuckled. “I know I would be.”

“Inosuke is already that way about me,” Aoi added. “But, did you know that he still hasn’t told me he loves me? I mean, we kiss, and we do everything else a couple does, but I don’t know. I’ve tried to teach him about the world, and it’s brought us closer together, but… wait… why am I telling you this?!?!”

I smiled. Aoi rarely opened up to anyone, and it was strange that she was opening up to me. However, she probably assumed that I was the easiest person to talk about Inosuke with.

“It’s all right, I don’t mind. Inosuke does adore you, Aoi. Maybe you should try saying it first and see what happens,” I suggested. “He probably needs to hear it from you first more than you need to hear it from him first.”

Aoi thought for a minute. Then she looked back at me.

“Did I ever tell you what Inosuke said to me at your wedding?”

“Um, no?”

“After Nezuko and I walked Kanao up to the bridge and sat down, Inosuke told me that Kanao looked beautiful,” Aoi told me.

“She did,” I remembered dreamily.

“But, then Inosuke turned to me and told me that I’d be beautiful in that dress, too.”

I sat up straighter. “He really said that?”

“I kind of assumed that he didn’t fully understand what he was saying,” Aoi said. “But, I knew that he meant I was beautiful. I didn’t really know how to react, because it wasn’t my day, but I just felt so… happy…”

Aoi was blushing now, but I was smiling.

I told her, “Inosuke needs to hear you say how you feel about him, Aoi. Guys are really bad at reading minds. I can read scents, but with Inosuke, you have to be direct. Sometimes, we want women to take the lead, too. You’ll make him feel really good, trust me.”

“Hm,” Aoi said, and folded her arms over chest. “I wasn’t expecting this today. But, I did appreciate it. Thanks, Tanjiro.”

That night, it took me a while to fall asleep. I listened to Kanao’s breathing, which was relaxing. There was something about her touch, and her very presence, that put me at immediate ease. I felt that way when I was with my sister, too. I thought about whether Nezuko was actually okay this evening. I decided that if she had been confiding something in Kanao, then it was not my place to ask. Still, I worried about her. After much internal debate, I decided that I would only interfere with whatever it was if Nezuko started to become visibly distressed. Then again, she might come to me a lot sooner before that happened. My hand rested on Kanao’s shoulder, and I gently rubbed it with my thumb. Aoi talked about the “newlyweds phase.” It had certainly been blissful, but maybe it was waning down now. So many things were changing. Kanao and I were definitely happy, aside from the promotion matters. But, I was worried that the rest of my family was not.

Chapter Text

Found Family Matters

When Tanjiro was at work, I worked on my sewing. It was still the perfect pastime for when he wasn’t there and I missed him. Aoi and Nezuko worked down in the village, and so the only ones of us who were perpetually home were me and Zenitsu. Inosuke was on the grounds, but he was always outside, and Zenitsu worked on his manuscript in his room. Sometimes he would come out to eat, mutter a few comments about how he needed his own office in the village, then go right back inside. Occasionally, we would sit down and have a snack together, but lately he was asking some questions that I thought were odd.

“Do you know how much Tanjiro spent on your engagement ring?” he had once asked.

“I don’t,” I answered. “I’m all right with not knowing, though. What the ring looks like or how nice it is isn’t as important to me as what it represents.”

“Do you know where he got it from?”

That I did know. “He got it from Mr. Inamoto in the village.”

“What do you want me to change your name to in my book?” Zenitsu changed the subject suddenly.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I laughed. “How about a name that’s also a flower? Something like ‘Ayame’ or ‘Tsubaki’, because I used the flower-breathing style.”

“Sure,” Zenitsu said, then stood up. “I can go back to writing now.”

He seemed embarrassed to sit with me sometimes, perhaps because he was alone with a married woman. But, he didn’t need to be embarrassed. He was just as much my friend as he was Tanjiro’s. As I was working on my sewing, I thought back to the conversation I had with Nezuko the previous day. I had been telling her how Tanjiro and I had taken that exact route through the woods on the night he proposed to me, and that he asked me the question between the two trees at the end.

“Actually, Kanao,” Nezuko had said. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Huh?”

“Zenitsu is still trying to propose to me, and he’s still not doing it for the right reasons,” Nezuko explained. “He’s insecure and jealous of Tanjiro again. He’s especially jealous of the fact that you and Tanjiro have been intimate, and can be now that you’re married. He also thinks that Tanjiro is ignoring him and Inosuke, which is why he came up with the idea to go to the onsen. He still wasn’t satisfied, though. So, he keeps trying to ask me to marry him. I tell him over and over what I’m telling you now, and it doesn’t register with him at all. It’s very frustrating.”

“I can imagine,” I replied.

“But, the thing is, I really am so in love with him,” Nezuko went on. “I do want to marry him, but I need to know that he understands what marriage is really like before I say yes. He only sees you and Tanjiro being happy together. He doesn’t see any of the challenges that you two are probably experiencing behind the scenes.”

I thought for a minute. Tanjiro’s dilemma with the promotion was the only thing I could think of that was a challenge at the moment. The two of us had always had good communication. We had had arguments just like any other couple, but none of them involved raising our voices or getting truly angry.

“I know Zenitsu is crazy about me, but I’m afraid this will eventually make me lose him. He doesn’t get angry when I redirect his proposals, he just doesn’t listen. If I lose him, it won’t just break our hearts, it will break everyone else’s, too. It will tear this found family apart. We’ve only survived this long because we were all willing to love each other, but maybe putting six people and three couples in one house was a mistake. The thing is, I just don’t know how any of us are going to get by without putting all of our money together. That’s the only reason we were able to expand the house, buy furniture, and make it what it is now. I don’t want to lose Zenitsu or my brother or anyone in this house, but I just can’t handle Zenitsu being so jealous anymore. As swordsmen, Tanjiro and Zenitsu were inseparable friends. They risked their lives and almost died together numerous times, so I don’t understand how Zenitsu is letting the fact that Tanjiro got married before him change all that.”

Nezuko was clearly conflicted. She even started tearing up. I put my arm around her to comfort her. She kept going, and I kept listening.

“I don’t see any solutions here,” Nezuko cried. “I thought it was just going to blow over at first, and Zenitsu was genuinely happy for you and Tanjiro at your wedding. But, then it just came right back. My relationship with Zenitsu was healthy until you and Tanjiro got engaged. I told you how he first proposed to me a month before that, and I redirected it then just because I knew he wasn’t ready. But, that confused him a lot. Then your engagement happened and he got jealous. Because your engagement and wedding all happened so fast, within just a few months, that didn’t give him much time to process his feelings. I just don’t know, Kanao.”

We had to stop so I could hold her while she cried.

“I’m sorry, Nezuko. That’s a lot of feelings to work through. But, confessing them is an excellent start.”

“Thank you,” Nezuko replied, rubbing her eyes. “When I was a demon, I couldn’t talk at all. But, I could think. Sometimes it was very difficult not being able to talk about things.”

“I know what that’s like,” I replied.

“Kanao, what does it feel like to make love?”

I smiled. “It feels great. Tanjiro is so gentle.”

“He’s always gentle, in everything he does,” Nezuko replied. “I want to have the same with Zenitsu. I hope he’ll be gentle, too.”

“He adores you, Nezuko. I know he will be.”

We had said some other things, but that was all I remembered. Nezuko told me that she didn’t want to go home crying, so I quickly rattled off a funny story from when Aoi and I were still living at the Butterfly Mansion. That made Nezuko laugh, and we returned home. I had had a feeling that I was right about Zenitsu being jealous, but hearing it from Nezuko’s point of view was very enlightening. I had wished there was more I could’ve done to help her, but the truth was that I couldn’t relate. Tanjiro and I had only dated for a relatively short amount of time and then we were married. We had gotten by so seamlessly. Maybe that was just the way the two of us were. I didn’t regret how fast things had unfolded, and I knew it was all genuine. But, I did know that that was not what happened with most relationships.

I suddenly lost interest in my sewing. I knew it would come back, I just had to have my daily fifteen minutes of missing Tanjiro. He only got one full day off, which was Sunday. He got to go in late on Saturday, but all other days he was gone the whole day. Yes, he had the job before we were married, but the waiting just seemed harder now. It could’ve been the fact that we were sharing more now. So, I paused what I was doing to just miss him. He needed more than one day off, but I doubted that that was going to happen. Was it silly to miss him like this when he was just at work? It could’ve just been the “newlyweds phase” that Aoi told me about. I looked down at the project I was working on. It was a small pillow in the shape of a sunflower. The majority of my work was flowers, and when I thought of the sunflower, I immediately thought of Tanjiro. I wasn’t sure what the pillow would be other than decoration, but it was turning out to be some of my best work. My other best work was my first quilt, but I still had a plan for that one. I hadn’t actually turned it into a bed yet. I was waiting for something. I hoped that Tanjiro would come home with some good news. I didn’t think I could take much more of him worrying about it. It was starting to make me worry, too.

It was Inosuke’s turn to cook that night. The shift started on Monday, and we had decided the order by flipping my coin. The week began with Nezuko, then me, then Tanjiro, Zenitsu, Aoi, and lastly Inosuke. On Sunday, we ate leftovers. It saved us one day of money. Inosuke was a lot better at cooking now, thanks to Aoi’s help, but he could still only make simple meals like stir fry and beef stew. Therefore, we had all grown accustomed to eating the same thing every Saturday. Inosuke was so proud of himself, though, and he eagerly awaited our approval at dinner. He did the same thing every time, and it was actually rather adorable. Aoi was always the first to taste. She finished chewing and swallowed.

“It’s delicious, dear,” she said with a smile.

She was being sincere. The stir fry was good. Inosuke lifted up his boar hide and gave Aoi a big kiss on the cheek. Aoi was clearly amused, but she still scolded him for doing it at the dinner table.

“How was everyone’s day?” Nezuko asked.

The tradition was to go around the table and share what each of us did that day. It always fell on Tanjiro last. He’d been reserved since he got home. He had given me just a quick kiss, but then he held me for a long time. I had asked him what was wrong, and he told me he would tell me later. Then, he had gotten straight in the bath. He normally waited until after dinner for that. So, naturally, I was worried. I resisted the urge to take his hand.

“What about you, brother?” Nezuko asked.

She was chipper, but clearly hiding her own anxiety.

“Well,” Tanjiro replied. “My supervisor, Mr. Takeda, was finally back in today. I talked to him about the promotion offer for a very long time, and he tried to take all of my concerns into consideration. He told me that there was one way that he could promote me and give me more pay as well as ample time at home to be with all of you, but it came with a catch.”

We were all hanging on his words now. My pulse was quickening.

“Every two months, I have to go on trips to other villages, which will mean that I won’t be home occasionally,” Tanjiro continued. “It’s not what I wanted, but it’s necessary for making up everything else I asked for. It’s only every two months, though. It was better than I thought it was going to be. I think it will be all right in the long run.”

Nezuko took a sharp inhale. “So, then, you’re saying that you are…”

“I’m Councilman and Ambassador Kamado,” Tanjiro said, finally cracking a smile.

I burst into tears with relief. My face fell straight into his chest, and my arms flew around him. He smiled and rubbed my shoulder lovingly.

“Hey, there. It’s okay,” he whispered.

Meanwhile, Inosuke had Aoi in a bear hug again.

“Ino…SUKE! What did just I tell you about doing this at the table?”

“They’re doing it!” Inosuke protested.

Zenitsu turned to Nezuko and beamed. “That means we get to as well, my love.”

“Honey,” Nezuko said. “This can wait until later.”

“I’m sorry,” I gasped. “I couldn’t help myself. I shouldn’t do that at the table.”

I left a big wet spot on Tanjiro’s shirt. Aoi was still pressed up against Inosuke and didn’t seem to mind that much.

“It’s fine,” she said. “We’re happy for you, Tanjiro.”

“Thank you,” he replied. “I know this will help all of us. And, I am excited.”

After dinner, Nezuko bounced up to Tanjiro and gave him a huge hug.

“Brother! This is amazing! You’re gonna be awesome at this job, councilman!”

“Thanks, Nezuko, but I actually don’t like it when they call me ‘councilman.’ It makes it sound like I’m above people.”

Nezuko patted him on both shoulders. “You’re always so humble, brother. Have you told our family yet? They would be so proud of you right now.”

“I’ll talk to them in the morning,” Tanjiro said, then ruffled her hair.

I was standing in the doorway of our room. He knew I was waiting for him. When we were finally in our room, he turned to me.

“Do you understand what this means?” he asked me.

“It means that sometimes, we’ll have to be apart,” I answered.

“But, it really won’t be for that long. Mr. Takeda told me that these trips usually only last three or four days. And, I said ‘every two months’ at dinner, but it’s more like every two to three. You’ll be okay, Kanao. You’re strong and I know you will be.”

“When is the first one?”

“At the beginning of April,” Tanjiro said. “So, we’ve got plenty of time. I’ll sit with you and go over everything in detail tomorrow. And, tomorrow’s Sunday. We can sleep in and spend all day together.”

“That sounds lovely.”

He smiled at me, then noticed my unfinished pillow.

“You're making a sunflower,” he remarked.

“Yes,” I smiled. “It made me think about us.”

“Everything reminds me of us, too,” Tanjiro said softly.

He gathered me up in his arms and held me gently. We finally got to kiss deeply. His hand on my back slipped down lower to my waist.

“Do you want love?” he asked.

“Yes.”

As we made love, the only thing I could think about was how I needed to cherish him to the absolute fullest. I knew I would struggle when he was on his business trips, but that was only going to make me love him more when he was home. I wasn’t going to have him forever… but I paused that thought immediately. The pleasure was coursing through my body. That thought did not belong in this moment.

On Sundays, all I wanted to do was be wrapped up in Tanjiro. We slept in late. He kissed my cheek to wake me, because I couldn’t see in the morning. My vision was blurry at first, and that was how he woke me up without scaring me. That morning, we kissed for a long time before getting up, still naked and still feeling weak in the knees. It was wonderful.

That day started out as wonderful, too. After lunch, we played a board game. We split up into teams of two, but we put a spin on it - each team had to be one man and one woman, but no one could be partnered with their spouse or sibling. That meant Tanjiro and Aoi were one team, Inosuke and Nezuko were another, and I was left with Zenitsu. We all laughed hysterically. For a moment, it seemed like there was no strife, no worry, and no tension between anyone. Zenitsu didn’t have any problem being put with me, which I’d been afraid of. In fact, we were very close to winning, until Inosuke and Nezuko won at the last minute.

“PAY UP, EVERYONE!” Inosuke cheered.

“Dear, this is not a money game,” Aoi sighed.

Later, Aoi, Nezuko, and I finally went on our ladies only walk. Aoi had gotten very quiet, so Nezuko asked her what was wrong.

“Oh, nothing,” she replied. “I’m just thinking about work. It’s been busy this week.”

“It has,” Nezuko answered. “Something’s going around.”

“Yes, Tanjiro’s boss was sick,” I added.

“Actually, Kanao, your husband gave me very good advice the other night,” Aoi said.

I was surprised. “What did he say?”

“You see, there’s been something I’ve been wanting to tell one of the other doctors,” Aoi went on. “I wanted to tell her how I feel about her work, but, since I’m still a new as a doctor, I was waiting for her to tell me about my work first.”

“What doctor is this?” Nezuko asked with an eyebrow raised.

“The one who wears her hair in two buns,” Aoi said. “Dr. Miwa. I don’t remember her first name.”

“I didn’t know that you knew her that well.”

“I don’t, but there’s something I really like about what she does with patients.” Aoi was getting flustered.

“Like, what in particular?” Nezuko pressed on.

“I’m actually talking about Inosuke, okay?” Aoi finally admitted with a snap. “I’ve been waiting for him to move the relationship forward, but I know that he probably doesn’t know how to. Tanjiro suggested that if I really wanted something to happen, I had to do it myself.”

“When did he tell you this?” I asked.

“When he thought he had a fever, or rather, when you thought he had a fever,” explained Aoi. “But, he’s right. I can’t wait for Inosuke to do everything. I just don’t know how to initiate the situation.”

“You don’t have to stage things,” Nezuko said with a smile. “The next time you’re with him, just take a deep breath and say it. When Zenitsu finally said it, he just kind of blurted it out while we were kissing.”

“What was it like for you?” Aoi turned to me.

“Um, well, it was a little bit staged,” I admitted shyly. “It was under the Victory Tree at the Butterfly Mansion. We were both really nervous about it, but look where it got us.”

“Seriously? Your romance is like a novel,” Aoi said.

“Awww!” Nezuko squealed. “Brother turned out to be such a secret romantic. When he loves, he loves deeply.”

He certainly did. But, I turned back to Aoi.

“It will mean the world to Inosuke to tell him how you feel. You’ll be just fine.”

Aoi sighed, then blushed. “He certainly makes me feel special, that’s for sure.”

“That’s all you need,” said Nezuko.

We both hugged Aoi. I could tell that she appreciated it.

After our walk and dinner, it was time for bed. I asked Tanjiro if he wanted to make love again. He always had to smell my hair before saying yes. I just assumed that was how he got in the mood. He had to take me in, and I honestly found that attractive. It was uniquely him, and it was intimate. To think that he used to be so shy… Now he was undressing me with no hesitation at all. He often said that growing up was beautiful. I had to agree. We were lying in bed at peace now, naked and warm, and I was poking the muscles in his good arm.

“What kind of training are you even doing?” I asked him.

“I have to modify everything to neutralize my bad arm, but it’s the same sit ups, pushups, and running I always used to do,” he answered. “In order to do anything more physical, Inosuke and Zenitsu have to spot me.”

“I know you’re not telling me everything,” I said cheekily, squeezing his bicep to prove my point. “These are serious. What else are you up to?”

He chuckled. He kissed me instead of answering. I could put my hands all over that body for hours. I ran my fingers through his hair as we kissed. His hair was my favorite thing about his appearance. He told me that he cut it himself, and he wasn’t going to grow it out any longer. It was perfect just the way it was. But, my favorite thing about him entirely was his heart. We could have easily stayed like that until we fell asleep, just kissing passionately, when our bedroom door suddenly flew open with a loud bang. We both shouted, pulled apart immediately, and scrambled to pull the covers up. Tanjiro sat up with a start while I burrowed to my shoulders. Inosuke was standing in our doorway, his boar hide absent, and his already large eyes were huge.

“GUYS!!!” he bellowed.

“INOSUKE!” Tanjiro barked. “You have to KNOCK!”

“Why are you both naked?”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!” Tanjiro demanded.

“AOI JUST TOLD ME SHE LOVES ME!!!”

“HUH?!?!” Tanjiro and I said in unison.

Inosuke had a huge grin and he was ready to start jumping up and down.

“Yeah, she was helping me clean up after dinner, and then she told me she wanted more out of our relationship, and I asked her why, and she told me she loves me! I’ve never been so happy!”

“That’s great, Inosuke,” I said shyly, pulling the covers up to my chin. “W-Where is she now? Does she know where you are?”

“I just told her to wait outside because I’m gonna chop a piece of wood into a heart and give it to her! I gotta go tell Nezuko and Zenitsu! And, seriously, why are you two naked?”

“JUST LEAVE US ALONE!” Tanjiro shouted. “And, if you’re gonna go tell Nezuko and Zenitsu, KNOCK FIRST!”

“Okay!” Inosuke said, and he shut the door.

His footsteps bounded away happily. Tanjiro groaned and flopped down on his back. Our dreamy afterglow had dissipated. I was still halfway hiding under the covers. Aoi had told Inosuke after all, although that was not the way I had thought she would do it. I couldn’t help but smile, though.

“Sometimes I can’t believe him…” Tanjiro sighed, exasperated.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said, rolling over to him again. “Inosuke adores Aoi. I’m happy for him.”

“I am, too,” Tanjiro replied. “But, I’ll be happier after I head butt him in the morning.”

I laughed. I took his face in my hands, and he cracked a smile. He reached up and moved a strand of hair out of my face. The dim light of the room danced in his eyes, lighting up even the one that was dull and discolored. He opened his mouth to say something, probably I love you, Kanao Kamado, when the moment was split by a bloodcurdling scream from down the hall. We both flinched. Then, we heard Inosuke’s voice again.

“HEY, NEZUKO!”

“THAT’S IT!” Tanjiro yelled, now furious. “IF HE WALKED IN ON MY SISTER…!!!”

He never finished his sentence. He hastily threw on a robe and was out the door instantly, then all I heard was commotion. Tanjiro and Inosuke were arguing, then, Zenitsu was there, too. There were several minutes of the three of them talking over each other.

“Ino…SUKE!!!”

Aoi’s voice silenced everyone. I went over to the door and pressed my ear against it.

“What’s going on?” I heard Aoi ask.

“I’m telling everyone that you love me!” Inosuke replied.

“But, you could KNOCK FIRST!” Tanjiro snapped.

“Why did you tell me to wait outside?” Aoi went on.

“I was going to carve a heart out of wood for you!”

“But, it’s cold and dark out."

“Can someone please shut my door?!?!” I heard Nezuko wail.

It was followed by a slam, so Tanjiro or Zenitsu must’ve shut it.

“Dear, what’s all this about?” Aoi said.

“I’m so happy!” Inosuke cheered. “I’m so happy you love me! Because, I love you!”

I gasped. In an instant, I threw on my night kimono and went outside in the hall. I stood behind Tanjiro, cautiously. Inosuke was holding both of Aoi’s hands in his. I had never seen him in such a tender pose before. Aoi took a sharp inhale, her eyes wide and shining. She stared right into his eyes. We were all quiet, waiting to see what happened next. Nezuko had gotten dressed, and now she was outside, too.

“Inosuke…” Aoi breathed. “You do?”

“Yeah, I do! That’s why I was so happy when you told me!” Inosuke said. “Like, I didn’t even know what to do about it or how to say it all until you did! Now I’m not afraid to tell you anything! You’re really pretty, and your laugh makes a nice sound, and your hands are really soft, and your cooking makes me feel all warm inside, not just because the food is warm, and you’re a lot stronger than you think you are, and…”

Aoi yanked Inosuke’s face down to her level and kissed him. Everyone in the room either went wide-eyed or their jaws dropped. They never kissed in front of us, only the first time when Inosuke caught her by surprise. And, it was Aoi who initiated it now. Inosuke didn’t even miss a beat. He picked up Aoi with a big whoosh and held her tight. He didn’t even put her down when she broke away. She had tears in her eyes.

“Inosuke… thank you,” she sniffed. “That means so much to me. But, next time, let’s do this in private, please.”

“Huh?” Inosuke said.

He turned around to see us all standing there, with varying expressions of bewilderment. Of us all, Zenitsu’s was by far the most dramatic.

“Oh,” Inosuke said. “I literally forgot all of you guys were there.”

“Well, I’m happy for you two,” Nezuko said with a thin smile. “True love is wonderful.”

“Sorry I saw you naked,” Inosuke said.

Nezuko turned a deep red and Zenitsu went from bewildered to defensive.

“Yeah, seriously, Inosuke!” he barked. “You need to learn how to be a gentleman! No one walks in on my Nezuko!”

“Is that true, dear?” Aoi asked.

“Yeah… I get why Nezuko was naked. She was putting her nightgown on,” Inosuke said. “I don’t get why Tanjiro and Kanao were naked, though. Like, they were naked at the same time, and they were just lying there in bed.”

I thought steam was going to blow out of Tanjiro’s ears. He was doing whatever he could to keep his temper contained, but he was not managing well. Zenitsu paused from being angry at Inosuke to raise an eyebrow at us. Poor Nezuko just stood in the middle of it all. She looked tired and embarrassed.

Aoi sighed. Then, she took Inosuke’s hand.

“Dear, I’ll sit outside with you, even though it’s cold and dark.”

Inosuke actually looked touched by that. The two of them went outside, leaving the rest of us standing there. Zenitsu promptly turned to face me and Tanjiro. His raised eyebrow looked like a glare now.

“Well, I’m going to bed. You two have a good night’s sleep,” he said, with emphasis on the last three words.

“Honey…” Nezuko looked at him with weary eyes.

“Oh, of course! Goodnight, Nezuko, my love!”

Zenitsu gave Nezuko a long kiss right in front of us. It was clearly not what Nezuko had wanted. I could see Tanjiro’s rage reaching a boiling point, and was worried that he was actually going start yelling. As gentle as he was, his fury was terrifying. His death glare, which I had only seen a few times, was very unsettling by itself. When he reached his breaking point, however, he was… well… like a demon. I would never actually use that word in front of him, but that was the most accurate way of describing it. I put my hands gently on his arm and shoulder. I could feel his muscles start to relax just from my touch. He didn’t turn to look at me, but he closed his eyes. I could tell he was trying to calm down.

“Let’s go back to bed, Tanjiro,” I whispered in his ear.

“Yes,” was all that he said.

When we were back in our room, we stripped off our clothes and were naked again. But, there was nothing intimate left in the night. He laid on his side facing away from me, something he never did. He was upset. I knew it was best to just leave him alone. Still, I slid closer to him and gently rubbed his back with my hand. I heard him exhale.

“Thanks, Kanao.”

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you, too.”

He didn’t say my full name. I loved when he did, and it was a clear sign that he was tired if he didn’t. I was glad that we solved the troubles with his promotion. He would at least be able to breathe about that. I kissed his shoulder for good measure. I laid on my back again, but still right up against him. I didn’t like seeing him angry or stressed out. He fell asleep fast that night. It took me a while longer. I was upset about the night as well. I felt bad for Nezuko. She clearly just wanted Zenitsu’s love, and he was distracted. Was our family really in trouble? I took a deep breath in, and let the warmth from Tanjiro’s skin soothe me to sleep. Whatever happened, I knew I had my husband. But, I wanted my friends, too.

Chapter Text

Deep Connections

The incident that night turned out to be the only one, but after that, everyone sort of kept to themselves. We talked at dinner, but then everyone would retreat to their own hobbies. Aoi and Inosuke spent more time together, which was one positive. Nezuko spent a lot of time in her and Aoi’s room when she wasn’t working, which worried Tanjiro. This avoidance went on until the beginning of February, when Zenitsu announced that he had news.

“The first volume of poems I published last year has sold enough copies needed for me to get a bonus from my editor,” he said. “And, my second volume is getting published at the end of this week.”

“That’s amazing, sweetie!” Nezuko said, and hugged him tightly.

“This will help us a lot,” Zenitsu continued, patting Nezuko’s head. “We can put it toward something special.”

After that moment, things actually improved. We slowly started being social again. But, Tanjiro was still cautious of Zenitsu. He started asking Nezuko to sit with him outside. He would always say it was “sibling stuff,” but I knew that’s who they were talking about.

“I’m so confused by all this,” he confessed to me one night. “What happened to us? We were doing just fine, and now… what’s the root behind all this?”

“We’re all getting older and experiencing new things,” I suggested, but I knew what he was really afraid of. “You and I getting married did not ruin our relationship with the others.”

“I love you and my sister and my friends,” Tanjiro sighed. “But, if it’s going to take only one person…”

“Please, Tanjiro, don’t blame Zenitsu for everything.”

“He’s acting like his old self again, though!” Tanjiro complained. “He told me about what he did in the final battle. He went up against his old rival and defeated him. He faced his greatest fear. He told me that it changed him, and, for a long time, I could actually see it.”

“Insecurities are hard to heal,” I said. “I’m concerned about the tension, too. Just please remember why we’re all here.”

He held me closer. “I remember. I hope it all just passes by.”

“We just take things day by day,” I told him. “That’s all we can do. Love, no matter what kind it is, finds a way if it’s true. I believe that the six of us do have that love. I am worried about Nezuko, though. She told you exactly what she told me.”

“I’m glad you have such a great relationship with my sister, Kanao,” he said and cracked a small smile.

I smiled back. My eyelids fluttered.

“Let’s just get some sleep. You don’t want to go to bed worrying about it,” I said.

“Yeah.”

I put my head on his chest. I liked listening to him breathe. It was one of the ways that I cherished him. I had to cherish him every second of every day. I didn’t want him to waste any time arguing with his best friends.

A week later, things seemed back to normal as a group. Zenitsu took Nezuko on a date downtown, and they came back very happy. But, Zenitsu and Tanjiro’s conversations with each other continued to sound strained or forced. Tanjiro made a point to always ask about Nezuko. Besides the tension with Zenitsu, he was happy. Even with his new promotion, Tanjiro still had only Sunday completely off, but he came home much earlier on the other days. However, he let me know that he was going to have to do a lot of extra hours starting the second week of March to prep him for the first trip in April. Basically, he would hardly be home for a month.

“It’s only going to be for March,” he said one morning. “It’s like training. And, I won’t be going on this first one alone, I’ll be going with Mr. Fukuhara.”

“All right,” I said. “I’m just going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too. But, you know I’ll be back.”

“Yes,” I smiled. “But, I have an idea. Before it gets to be March, do something else with Zenitsu and Inosuke, or at least just Zenitsu.”

“Like what?”

“Maybe training with him? You can choose a time when Inosuke is with Aoi so it will be just the two of you. While you’re training, you’ll be less likely to talk about me or Nezuko.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“You’ve got two Sundays left in February and one in March, so choose wisely,” I said.

I playfully ruffled his thick, gorgeous hair, and he smiled. He knew how much I loved his hair. He kissed me, and then he was off to work. That day, Aoi and Nezuko had a rare day off.

“What’s the occasion?” I asked them.

“Not really an occasion,” Aoi replied. “We have to work a certain number of hours before we get a day off. It’s annoying, but it’s what we have to settle for right now.”

The next street sale in the village was coming up in March, and I had a lot of new pieces to sell. We all did our part to make the found family work. Aoi probably didn’t have to sacrifice herself like that as much as she thought she did, though. If anything, she hated feeling useless. She never stopped feeling cowardly for being too afraid to fight as a slayer.

“What were you going to do with your day off?” I asked.

“Well, I was thinking…” Nezuko started. “The guys did their onsen trip, so why don’t we do one, too?”

“A women’s onsen trip sounds lovely,” Aoi said. “But, maybe not today? I… kind of was looking forward to spending more time with Inosuke.”

“Awww!” Nezuko giggled. “That’s understandable. Do you have any cute plans today?”

“We’re just going to go window-shopping in the village,” Aoi replied. “I realized that he still doesn’t know what a lot of things are, so it’s like of like a teacher date, I guess. He’s actually very eager to learn. It’s kind of adorable.”

“That is adorable,” I answered.

“And, we’re also going to buy at least two shirts,” Aoi added. “Finally, after all this time trying to convince him… He said he’d only wear a shirt if I helped him pick it out. He’s wearing the checkered one Tanjiro gave him today.”

Nezuko and I both laughed. Inosuke and Aoi would be just fine. I wasn’t worried about them at all. Nezuko told us that her grand date with Zenitsu was just buying udon from a street vendor, and then they stargazed on a bench for a few hours. The smallest things could be the most romantic. It occurred to me that Tanjiro and I hadn’t been on a date since we got married, at least not one where we went out. On his days off, we stayed home, caught up on the week, and snuggled or made our best love. That was wonderful, of course, but I missed our leisurely walks and picnics and that one day in the village when he introduced me to everyone. I had to get it in before his busy March.

“Tell you what,” Aoi said. “We’ll have our onsen day on Sunday. How’s that sound?”

“I love it!” Nezuko agreed.

Our onsen trip was the perfect opportunity for Tanjiro to reconnect with his friends. I had no idea what the three of them talked about while training, but I was sure that it couldn’t be us. I did know that Tanjiro and Inosuke were mostly training by themselves these days, and Zenitsu was skipping it again. Nezuko always insisted that he wasn’t trying to be antisocial on purpose, he was just engrossed in his writing. He was open about his poetry and short stories, but he was very quiet about his memoir. Aside from asking us what we wanted our names changed to, he barely told us anything about it. I remembered what he told me about how it was hard to reflect back on some parts of our journey. I assumed that was probably why.

As it turned out, it was Tanjiro’s turn to cook that night. We used to eat late when it was his turn, but now he was able to start earlier because he was home earlier. That night, he made soup dumplings, which was his signature because he could still roll the dough with one hand. He didn’t mind when I bothered him while cooking, and he sometimes needed my help, anyway. I told him about the idea for going to the onsen.

“We’re doing that this coming Sunday, so that would be a nice window for whatever you want to do with the guys,” I told him.

“That’s perfect,” he said with a smile.

“Do you need help chopping anything?”

He turned and looked at me playfully.

“Not this time. I could use some company, though.”

I stood on his other side and held his hand that didn’t work. He couldn’t grip me back or even feel me holding it all. However, every once in a while, I liked holding it so I could feel his ring. We still kept in touch with everyone invited to the wedding, and that made him happy. He loved connections between people. I knew he was serious about fixing his current problem with Zenitsu. Nobody wanted drama in the house… and I knew Zenitsu didn’t, either.

But, for the next few days, Zenitsu stayed in his room all day. Except for meals, we never saw him. Nezuko asked him if he was all right.

“I’m at a difficult part in my memoir, but I have to get through it,” he answered. “Sorry if I seem like a recluse. I just want to be alone right now, because it’s not fun remembering some of this stuff.”

Tanjiro told me that night that he assumed that Zenitsu was writing about the incident on the Mugen Train and the death of Rengoku, which hit all of them hard. It was understandable. It certainly wasn’t pleasant seeing Zenitsu distant and upset, especially for Nezuko, but at least he and Tanjiro weren’t fighting at the moment.

The next evening, which was a Saturday, Tanjiro asked both Zenitsu and Inosuke to train with him.

“Tomorrow, the women are going to the onsen, so I thought it would be fun if we trained together,” he said with a smile.

“I’m down!” Inosuke cheered happily, pumping his fists in the air.

“I don’t know, guys,” Zenitsu answered. “Nothing personal, it’s just my book.”

“This might make you feel better, Zenitsu,” Tanjiro offered. “Exercise is important for the mind, too. So is being outside.”

“It’ll be just like old times!” Inosuke declared. “Except now I remember all your names! Of course, I always remembered Aoi’s!”

“You called me ‘Naomi’ for a long time, dear,” Aoi replied.

“Please, Zenitsu,” Nezuko chimed in. “You need a break from that book.”

“All right,” Zenitsu finally agreed. “You guys have a point.”

And, so, it was settled. The next day, the guys went farther up the mountain to train and Aoi, Nezuko, and I went to the onsen. I needed it. No one needed it more than Nezuko, though, who was clearly worried about Zenitsu.

“I hope he’s actually training,” she muttered.

“We are not here to talk about our men,” Aoi declared. “This is for us.”

I sank down in the pool up to my chest. We were finally all relaxed. I rarely got to see my friends like this. It made me feel good that the three of us trusted each other to go to places like the onsen. In the past, I didn’t trust anyone. Now, I had friends to take a bath with. It made me smile. However, it was obvious now that the three of us had no idea what to discuss other than our guys.

“Okay, then,” Nezuko started. “What should we talk about? Do you want to talk about the doctor’s office?”

“Kanao doesn’t need to know any of that.”

“I guess not. Kind of boring.”

“It’s all right. But, I’ve been thinking… it’ll be cherry season soon,” I said. “We haven’t made any dessert in a while. Want to make something with cherries?”

“That’s a great idea!” Aoi said. “I could make cherry tarts for the family.”

“We could all make cherry tarts!” Nezuko added. “We’ll do a baking night! That actually sounds fun, and the guys will like it, too, and… oh… sorry.”

“That’s okay,” said Aoi. “I just wasn’t in the mood to worry over what our husbands and boyfriends are up to. But, they are part of our family, too. We’ve been making it work pretty well so far, but sometimes I wonder if the six of us are all just out of our minds…”

“We probably all are,” I laughed. “That’s why we work.”

“What’s gonna happen when the family gets bigger?” Nezuko asked.

Aoi looked at her with an eyebrow raised. I looked down at the water. Nezuko blushed in slight embarrassment.

“Sorry. It was just on my mind.”

“Don’t be embarrassed, Nezuko,” I said.

Of course, I knew her comment had to do with me in particular. But, Aoi was right. This trip was for ourselves. We ended up talking about food for the rest of the bath. It was obvious that we didn’t know how to carry on a conversation about much else, however. And, the answer to Nezuko’s question was important and something everyone else wanted to know. It was still far away, so giving any kind of answer would just cause confusion. If there was one bad habit that everyone in the family had, it was ignoring things that were hard to talk about. Tanjiro was the only one who was better about this, and even he and I had difficulty talking about some things - notably, his curse. I knew it was a subject that he didn’t want to avoid, but still did with me. It could’ve been because he loved me and didn’t want to hurt me. He knew how I felt about loving him until the very end. But, I still prayed to the gods every night that it wouldn’t happen. It was futile, but he was right. It was painful to think about, let alone talk often about, losing the love of my life. We had all suffered and lost so much. Maybe that’s where our aversion stemmed from. I had just as much aversion with talking about us getting bigger, too.

When we got home, the guys had finished training. Zenitsu and Inosuke were already out of the bath. They were sitting on the couch eating rice balls, both still with damp hair.

“Hey!” Aoi barked. “You two better watch out that you don’t ruin the upholstery!”

“What’s upholstery?” Inosuke asked.

“It means the fabric on the couch and pillows. It gets discolored when you get it wet, so I suggest you get another towel or sit in the kitchen instead.”

“Is Tanjiro still in the bath?” I asked.

“No, actually, he went first,” Zenitsu answered. “I don’t know where he went. He’s not in his room, though.”

I looked around for him and finally found him outside in the storage room. The storage room was where we kept a spare closet and a few supplies, while all the charcoal burning tools were in the shed behind the house. There was a big spare mirror propped up against the wall. He was standing in front of it, with his pants on but no shirt, trimming his hair. I didn’t have to say anything, because he knew I was standing there right away. He caught my scent, of course.

“Hey, there,” he smiled.

“So this is where you do it?”

“I usually do it in the real bathroom, but that would’ve taken too long.”

I bent over and picked a lock of hair off the ground. It was so soft, and the red highlights looked even redder in the afternoon light.

“May I keep this for when you’re away on business?”

“You just can’t get enough of it,” he laughed.

“I never will.”

“How was the onsen?”

“It was very relaxing. We talked about food. How was training?”

“It was actually really great,” he said.

“What did you talk about?”

“We talked about the Hashira,” Tanjiro answered. “But, not about the battles. We talked about our regular experiences with them. We talked about Mr. Rengoku in particular. I think it really helped out Zenitsu.”

“That’s good,” I said. “So, you think he’s going to be okay?”

“I do. I think whatever it was wasn’t actually about me. I think he just needed some help getting through some bad memories.”

I put my hand on his face, and he put his clippers down. He was done, anyway.

“We all need help getting through bad memories,” I said softly.

“Yes,” he answered. “But, now it’s time to make some good ones.”

“We’ve made some pretty good ones so far.”

“Yep.”

I knew in that moment that things would be all right between all of us again. And, the next day, Zenitsu came to breakfast with a big smile, kissed Nezuko lovingly and genuinely, and patted Tanjiro on the back as he left for work. Nezuko was elated. The balance was back, and it seemed like it came back as unbreakable.

March came in a few weeks. I was excited for Tanjiro for what this meant for his job, but I was not looking forward to not having him at home. It would be the first time I was without him since we moved in together. So, on the last Sunday before he had to begin his extra training hours, I asked him on a date. He was very excited about it.

“Where to?” he asked.

“Well, it’s not very romantic,” I began. “But, what about the new restaurant in town? It’s been a while since we had a meal alone.”

“That sounds lovely.”

The new restaurant wasn’t fancy, but it was better than the tavern. Everyone in the village said good things about it, and it was a nice change of pace. So, that evening, we told the others we wouldn’t be home for dinner. We walked into the restaurant, and everyone cheered when they saw us.

“Hey, look! Tanjiro’s here.”

Tanjiro smiled awkwardly. The owner even came up, and he shrunk back a little.

“We were wondering when you were finally going to make it here,” the owner said. “And, Lady Tsuyuri, it’s an honor to have you here, too.”

“Um, I’m Lady Kamado now,” I said shyly.

The owner’s eyes went wide. “That’s right! I can’t believe I forgot! You two have a seat right up front. And, the appetizer’s on the house!”

I could tell the attention made Tanjiro uncomfortable, so I squeezed his hand. He smiled and squeezed back. It was about us tonight. The owner still insisted on treating us and giving us the best table. Personally, I didn’t mind the free appetizers if it meant the bill would be less. We sat down, and the owner came back and took our order himself. When he left, Tanjiro sighed and covered his face with his hand.

“Sorry,” he said. “I don’t know why I didn’t think about this.”

“Just look at me,” I told him.

He smiled more comfortably. “Okay.”

I had wanted to ask him more about his upcoming extra hours, but that was not a topic for a romantic evening. He would be home at his normal time tomorrow, and that would be a better opportunity. Instead, I started talking about our friends who we hadn’t seen since the wedding.

“You read Tengen’s recent letter, right?” I asked. “Suma is finally having a baby.”

“I know, that made me happy,” Tanjiro answered. “I can imagine Tengen is a fun father. I hope we see them again soon.”

“Me too. Giyu doesn’t answer back, though.”

“He doesn’t mean anything by it,” Tanjiro said. “He just keeps to himself. His baby must have been born by now. I wonder if it was a boy or a girl.”

“You know who might be married before we know it?” I asked playfully.

“Who?”

“Senjuro. He’s so handsome,” I laughed. “I couldn’t believe it.”

Tanjiro laughed. “I suppose you’re right. He’s handsome and he’s kind.”

“Like you.”

“Yes, like me.”

Our dinner was quite good. The rave reviews lived up to the expectation. We continued to talk about our wedding guests. Then, we ended up just reminiscing about our wedding.

“Exactly what did you do with Inosuke and Zenitsu while you were getting dressed?”

“Oh, we just kind of made fun of each other. Or rather, they made fun of me.”

“What kind of things did they say?”

“Insouke made fun of my fancy kimono and Zenitsu made jokes like, ‘It’s your last hour of being a free guy, any last words or requests?’ They were knocking out my nerves.”

“Were you that nervous?”

“I felt like fainting at least six times,” he laughed. “Especially when you walked up to the bridge. I forgot how to breathe, because you were so beautiful.”

I smiled, blushed, and looked down at my food.

“I forgot how to breathe when I saw you, too. You were dazzling.”

So, the rest of the dinner, we just told each other little things about our wedding that we hadn’t told each other yet. It brought back all the joy. My favorite part of the reception was our dance. He laughed and told me that he was afraid I thought it was awkward.

“No,” I told him. “I had never felt so in sync with you. I mean, I always feel that way, but that moment in particular was so special.”

“I liked when we fed each other breakfast the next morning.”

“Yes, that was pleasant. I didn’t want to leave your side at all that day.”

“Best day of my life,” he whispered lovingly.

“Mine, too.”

On the way home, we laced our fingers together and shared more secrets. He told me that his favorite mornings were the ones where he woke up and I was still laying on him, and that I sometimes hummed in my sleep. I told him that I thought the way he blushed was adorable and I loved the sound of his laugh. He rubbed my hand with his thumb, and I told him I loved that, too. It was getting dark when we went up the mountain, and sometimes he had to help me over rocks or guide me. It was harder for me to see in the dark, but I knew I was safe with him. There was such a warmth between us that night. Our spark never went out, but something was extra special about the atmosphere, the chemistry. In April, we’d be married for six months. It hadn’t been that much time, but it felt like an eternity to me.

When we got back to the house, the kitchen and living room were empty. It was quiet, so either everyone else had gone to sleep or they were elsewhere.

“I guess we should go to bed,” Tanjiro said.

“Yes, you have to get up early tomorrow.”

“Dinner was wonderful.”

“Because, it was with you.”

He looked at me lovingly. Then, he brought our clasped hands to his lips and kissed my fingers. Of all the romantic habits he had developed, he had never done that before. My heart swelled. He surprised me every day with how loving he was.

In our room, our small lamp was already on. I pulled my hair out of its hairpin, and it fell past my shoulders.

“You’ve got beautiful hair, too, you know,” Tanjiro said.

“We both have good genes,” I replied.

“I’m glad we went out for dinner, Kanao. It’s embarrassing when everyone fawns on me like that, though.”

“I know,” I said.

My hands were at work removing his shirt. It came off with ease. Then, he held me close. My fingers fanned out over his chest.

“If possible, send a crow when you’re on your trip,” I breathed.

“If I can’t, at least know that I’m thinking about you until I see you.”

“You could always see me, Tanjiro.”

I had never felt this warm holding him. I could feel his heart beating in his chest under my hands. Then, we were taken over. Everything was nonverbal. My eyes begged him to take the rest of our clothes off, and he didn’t hesitate for a second. My shirt, my skirt, and his pants were off in an instant. Our hands were running all over each other’s bodies. We’d explored each other so many times, but it seemed like there was always something brand new to find. We kissed each other hard. But, at the same time we were feeling this extraordinary passion, Tanjiro was still as gentle as he had ever been.

He laid me down and waited for permission. He always gave me the lead, and then I gave it back to him. I felt the force residing in his body, but he didn’t act on it. He kept it reserved. It was a wonderful mixture of intensity and gentleness. He was such a good lover. He moved and glided with ease. He had developed his own expertise in only a short amount of time. He also knew a lot about the human body. He figured out how to be a good lover by intuition. I felt the muscles in his back and shoulders expand and contract, and his abs gently brush against my flat stomach. I moved in time with him, feeling him inside. His stamina was unbelievable, and it was all in his breathing. I’d always known that his capabilities were above average. He was blessed in so many ways. There was his gorgeous hair, beautiful eyes, handsome face, amazing body, sense of smell, stamina, physical strength, his kind heart… and he had that going for him, too. It was amazing how one man could be so lucky. My body moved under him and I could feel his abs again. How did he keep up his body? How did he? My thought was suddenly cut off, because the most beautiful feeling I’d ever had exploded within me. My hands, which had been moving up and down over his back, dropped down to my sides. And, he wasn’t even done yet. His last few movements felt like a dream. All of it felt like a dream. But, miraculously, everything was real. It was better, far better, than any love we had ever made before.

He finished with a sigh, his face still buried in my shoulder. We were both breathing heavily now. My heart was hammering, and his was doing the same against me. Shinobu had taught me about this when I was a child, around ten or eleven. I’d been unresponsive, but I listened to her. It was simply another human interaction to me back then. It wasn’t until my heart started to turn that I started researching out of curiosity, even if it was subconscious. Never in my life did I think I’d find myself actually doing it. Did anyone?

“Good job,” I finally managed after a while.

“…Huh?” Tanjiro wheezed out.

“You did a very good job.”

“Thanks.” He could barely speak.

After a few minutes, he finally moved. We were both sprawled out. My fingers felt numb, and I couldn’t even hold his hand. My vision went blurry, then slowly regained its focus. It took several minutes for us to reconnect to reality. Then, we looked at each other. Both of us were drenched in sweat.

“I feel great,” I whispered with my mouth inched upward.

“Me, too,” he panted, also finding a small smile.

We always talked afterwards, but this was different. Neither of us could believe what had just happened. Why had it never felt that good before? The moment that spurred it on had been strong, and both of us were growing more confident in bed. Maybe that was it. My mind was too subdued to think about it.

“That was so beautiful,” I went on.

He smiled. “Beauty is everywhere.”

“I always loved that about you,” I said. “You see beauty in almost everything.”

“But, nothing is more beautiful than who I see in front of me right now.”

He had said that exact line when he proposed to me. I still remembered it. I chuckled.

“You do see it, right, Kanao?” he went on. “Inside and out, you are breathtaking.”

“I do,” I replied. “Do you see what a handsome man you are?”

“It took me a while,” he said. “But, I do now.”

“I’m glad.”

I reached out and stroked his cheek. How did I, a girl born into poverty, end up with the most wonderful man on earth as my husband? I finally told Tanjiro my origin story in the months leading up to our wedding. He had been shocked. Then, he had embraced me tightly and told me I was wanted, I was cherished, and he loved me beyond words. Sometimes, I couldn’t believe he was actually mine.

I ran my hand through his hair. It was still damp with sweat. Neither of us usually sweat that much, so this was new. He smiled and his eyelids fluttered.

“I’m getting tired,” he yawned.

“You worked so hard.”

“It takes two, Kanao. You work just as hard. That’s why it feels so good.”

“It always feels good.”

We rolled close together, as if magnetized, and returned to kissing passionately. It didn’t last too long, because we were both tired. We were so warm with sweat that we slept without any covers that night. I curled against his body while he slept on his back. I had one arm around his shoulders and the other slung over his body. His hand rested gently on my back. The touch of his fingers was soothing in a way I could never describe. I could feel a sense of stirring deep within me. I assumed it was the afterglow, and fell right to sleep.

Chapter Text

Bad Cherries

I did not want to go to work the next morning, after that beautiful night. I wanted to sleep in next to Kanao until noon, maybe even longer. I woke up with her still on top of me, which was the best way to wake up. Why had she smelled so good last night? She was impossible to resist. But, I had to go to work, so I kissed her cheek to wake her. Her scent was overwhelmingly sweet. It was light and airy and I loved the way it filled my lungs.

“Psst. Hey, there,” I whispered and kissed her again. “Time to wake up.”

“I’m already awake,” she sighed happily. “I just didn’t want to get off of you.”

I chuckled. “I wish you didn’t have to.”

She turned her face to look at me. I could never get over her beauty.

“I should kiss you now,” she whispered. “I’m not going to see you much this month.”

“It’s only this month,” I reminded her.

“It will still feel like forever.”

“Same.”

I ended up being late for work that day, because we lost track of time kissing. When I got to work, I told the other councilmen I was late because I needed to talk to my wife. They excused it without question because my punctuality record was otherwise perfect, but I did feel kind of bad about it. It was my last normal day before my extra training hours started. March was going to be hectic, for sure. I couldn’t get distracted.

That day, Mr. Fukuhara briefed me about the trip. It wasn’t much. We were just going to the next village to the South to discuss a better courier system through our village.

“The head councilman of that village is named Iwamatsu. There are three others, Kimura, Abe, and this young guy, Yamashita. He came up with the new system. We approve of it, too, but Yamashita needs help convincing Iwamatsu. That’s where you come in, because you’re young and more adept to the current times. We hope you’ll be the proof. It will also introduce you to the other village.”

“I see…” I mused.

I wasn’t sure how adept in the current times I truly was, but I was willing to do the job.

“Also, Iwamatsu knows you’re young, but we didn’t tell him how young,” Mr. Fukuhara added. “Just for some extra leverage.”

I supposed that I could pull that off. I would be nineteen in the summer, and I did look a little bit older.

“I have one request, Mr. Fukuhara,” I asked. “If any of these councilmen ask about my background, I would prefer if you don’t tell them about the Demon Slayer Corps. Tell them I was born with my bad arm and blind eye. I know they’ll ask about it when they realize it. I don’t like lying, but none of that has to do with this trip.”

“If that makes you more comfortable, I won’t mention it,” Mr. Fukuhara replied. “Now, about the details of these extra hours. If you’re going to be credible, you have to have an in-depth knowledge of this other village and the other councilmen, as well as the system we have in place. So, it kind of starts out as cramming, you know what I mean?”

I was homeschooled my whole childhood, then I joined the Demon Slayer Corps. I came home and learned how to be a councilman from scratch and intuition. Additionally, I only took the job because it was available at the right time. I didn’t have any idea what cramming was, but understood it had to do with a lot of learning. I just nodded.

“All right. After your regular work today, we’ll start the first session.”

“When will I be home tonight?”

“We’ll probably be done around eight-thirty. Don’t worry, I’ve got food.”

I had told Kanao and everyone else seven-thirty… In my mind, I groaned. This was going to be more than I thought. But, I was no stranger to responsibility. I took a deep breath.

“You look like you slept well, Kamado,” Mr. Fukuhara said suddenly.

“I do?”

“Yeah, usually you’re kind of groggy when you get here, but you’re very bright-eyed this morning,” he explained. “So, you must have slept very well.”

“Oh. Yeah, I did.”

“How’s your wife?”

“She’s great.”

“What’s her name again?”

“Kanao.”

“Don’t worry, not every day will be like this, so tell her not to worry.”

I knew Kanao was going to worry no matter what. Sometimes, I worried about her when she was in the house by herself. She had her sewing, Nezuko’s garden, and Kaburamaru. But, her best friends, Aoi and Nezuko, were never home during the day, either. She seemed all right, but maybe she needed an occupation, too.

I didn’t talk about my private life at work that much, so the other councilmen often forgot Kanao’s name. Mr. Takeda knew me better and heard more about her. I only had one photograph of us, taken at our wedding, because we couldn’t really afford photographs. Mr. Takeda was the only one who had seen it.

“Wow,” Mr. Takeda had gasped. “She’s gorgeous.”

I had smiled. “Yes, she is.”

“I still can’t believe you got married at eighteen, Kamado.”

“Well, I had a pretty good feeling about her.”

“You’re quite the incredible young man.”

That was something that everyone at the council building said to me, but I didn’t really like that, either. I was just trying to be myself. Maybe my age did make me an outlier, but I felt as if I didn’t really deserve the high praise just because I had accomplished certain things while young. I just had to shrug it off and go back to work.

My first lesson was a more detailed profiling of the four councilman of the neighboring village. In particular, they wanted me to know about the man who had proposed the new plan, Ken Yamashita. I looked at his file and picture. I was told he was thirty, but he looked younger. He actually looked similar to Muichiro Tokito, the former Mist Hashira. Tokito died in the final battle, and was only fourteen years old. He also had very long hair, whereas Mr. Yamashita’s was much shorter. Nevertheless, they had similar faces.

“He has a wife, two sons, and another baby due towards the beginning of August,” Mr. Fukuhara explained.

“Sorry for asking so many questions,” I said. “But, why do I need to know all this about his family?”

“We hope to do a lot of business with this village. Getting to be familiar with each other is important. We also want to establish a connection between you and Yamashita in particular. He knows that you have a wife.”

I wasn’t sure if I was all right with that, but I could see the reasoning behind it.

“Why do you want to put me with Mr. Yamashita?”

“Oh, because you’re both young and the future of the villages,” Mr. Fukuhara said. “It’s a business strategy. I’ve actually met him myself just briefly on my initial trip there, and I think the two of you will get along.”

“Well, that’s encouraging,” I replied, putting on a smile.

Like Mr. Fukuhara had promised, we were finished at eight-thirty. It took another half an hour to get home. I knew everyone would be fast asleep by the time I got there, meaning I went the whole day without seeing anyone. When I got to my room, I noticed that the small lamp was on. I hoped that meant Kanao was still awake. But, when I opened the door, she was curled up in bed, fast asleep. I sighed in disappointment, then struggled to take my shirt off myself. I turned the lamp off and got in bed. I kissed Kanao gently on the cheek to let her know I was back.

“Hey, Kanao,” I whispered. “I’m home.”

Her eyelids fluttered open. “Welcome home, Tanjiro.”

She fell back to sleep. She had to have been so lonely at home to fall asleep this quickly. It was going to be a harder month than I thought. I was hardly going to see my wife, my sister, or my friends. It would all be work. I laid on my back, knowing I would fall asleep quickly. Kanao took my hand in her sleep. She hummed three random notes. I managed a smile. I would always come back to something.

The rest of March was long and draining, but I got through it. Three days before my trip, the found family decided to do something fun to celebrate. As it turned out, Aoi and Nezuko had been planning a big baking night.

“It was going to be cherry tarts,” Nezuko explained. “But, it’s still not cherry season. We were only able to find this one box of cherries from a vendor.”

She placed the box on the table, and Inosuke immediately started eating them. Aoi gently tapped on his shoulder.

“Dear, why don’t you save them for later?”

“If you’re not baking with them, why can’t I have a snack?” Inosuke grumbled.

“Yeah, they’re just cherries,” Zenitsu added, helping himself as well.

“Sure, fine,” Aoi sighed. “Anyway, since we’re not making cherry tarts, we thought we’d take a poll. What do you guys want to bake?”

“I love just simple pastries,” Kanao suggested.

“What about you, brother?” Nezuko asked, turning to me. “It’s kind of a celebration for your first trip.”

“You guys surprise me,” I smiled.

“I know what your favorites are, anyway!” Nezuko grinned.

Aoi cooked that night and made hot pot, and everything seemed to be going well. I told everyone more about my trip, but left out how they wanted me to befriend Mr. Yamashita. That would have prompted some extra questions I either couldn’t have answered or didn’t want them to know yet. Later, I told Kanao about it while we were in bed. My head wouldn’t turn off. There was no time for intimacy that night.

“It just felt intrusive for them to tell me all about him up front like that before I even met him,” I confessed. “But, I guess it does help me with what they want me to do.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” Kanao said.

“Apparently, they all also think I’m in my twenties.”

“Why’s that?”

“I dunno, I guess they’ll think I know what I’m doing better if they think I’m older?”

“Perhaps.”

“Do I look like I could pass for twenty or older, or am I obviously eighteen?”

“You’ll be fine, Tanjiro.”

“Yeah, but…”

She put her finger to my lips.

“What do we do when we’re overthinking?”

“Count to ten and say the magic words?”

“Exactly.”

This was a ritual Kanao made up to help me for when I got stuck fixating on the plan. We would count to ten together, and then we’d both recite the words.

“Today is a peaceful day and tomorrow will be, too. No need to run, no need to fight, I will make it through.”

It did make me feel better, and I smiled wider. I really did have the best wife in the world. Whenever I looked in her eyes, I could see the future shine.

Suddenly, the night was disrupted by the pounding of feet in the hall, a door being thrown open, and an absolutely horrible sound. Ten seconds later, there was another set of feet sprinting, the thud of something against the counter top, and another horrible sound. My skin crawled and a shiver went down my spine. I knew I should go help with whatever it was, but I did not want to open the door. I heard Aoi and Nezuko’s door open slowly.

“Inosuke…?” I heard Aoi call out. “Dear, what’s wrong?”

I opened the door a mere crack to see what was happening. Inosuke was in the kitchen, slumped over the sink, gagging and sputtering. He was violently ill. Aoi, who wasn’t grossed out by anything, slowly walked over to him and rubbed his back. If Inosuke was in the kitchen, then who ran down the hall? I opened my door a notch more and craned my neck down towards the bathroom. The door was flung wide open. Zenitsu was crumpled in a heap on the floor in front of the toilet, also as sick as a dog. I didn’t want to, but there was no choice but to go outside now. I had to let Aoi know.

“Stay here,” I told Kanao.

She looked disturbed and had the covers pulled up. She simply nodded in agreement. As I opened the door, Nezuko poked her head out of her room.

“Um, brother, is Zenitsu okay…?”

“Just hold on,” I told her.

Inosuke seemed to have stopped and was sitting at the kitchen table now, pressing a wet washcloth to his head. Aoi was hastily trying to clean everything up.

“Aoi?” I said feebly. “Zenitsu is sick, too…”

“Are you serious?” Aoi replied. “I’ll be right there. Can you do me a favor and get some medicine from my cabinet? It’s a small yellow pill shaped like a square.”

I did as she said and found the medicine. When I brought it to her, she crushed it up and mixed it into a glass of water. Then she knelt down next to Inosuke and gave it to him.

“Dear, this medicine is for you,” she said softly. “It will calm your stomach. And, keep holding the washcloth there.”

Inosuke just nodded, like he was afraid to talk. I had never seen him look so miserable. Aoi went off to help Zenitsu, who was back to being completely dramatic.

“I CAN’T STOP PUKING, I MIGHT THROW UP ALL MY ORGANS AND DIE!”

It took a long time, but they both eventually stopped. They both slunk back to their rooms and didn’t have any issues for the rest of the night. I felt bad for Aoi, but she was very efficient in taking care of everything. I went back to my own room, now exhausted.

“Is it over?” Kanao asked.

“Yep,” I said, and I was asleep immediately.

The next morning, Inosuke and Zenitsu were absent from the breakfast table. The rest of us weren’t eating, though. Aoi was deep in thought.

“What could they have gotten sick from?” she wondered aloud. “Was it the hot pot? I’ve made that exact same recipe countless times, and I couldn’t have messed anything up. Did any of you have stomach symptoms last night?”

“I didn’t,” Kanao replied.

“Me, neither,” Nezuko answered.

“Same,” I added.

“That’s so weird, then!” Aoi exclaimed. “They were the only two who got sick. Unless it was something other than dinner…”

“Well,” Kanao piped up. “They were both eating those cherries.”

Aoi and Nezuko both looked up in realization, then looked at each other.

“Where did you get those cherries, Nezuko?” Aoi asked her.

“From a fruit vendor in the village,” she answered. “I buy from him all the time, and he’s never had bad produce before.”

“They must’ve been contaminated with something,” Aoi said. “Well, we’re throwing the rest of those out, then.”

“Actually,” added Kanao suddenly. “I’m feeling a bit light-headed, Aoi. Do you have any medicine for that?”

“Oh, maybe you just need a cold washcloth, Kanao.”

I turned to Kanao. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said happily. “I didn’t eat any cherries.”

For some reason, I felt suspicious.

With my trip approaching, I was under a lot of stress. If Kanao was sick, too, it would be even more stress. Tomorrow was Sunday, so I’d be home all day to take care of her if needed. I’d leave on Monday. While I was at work, Mr. Takeda and Mr. Fukuhara gave me a full drill session on all the things I needed to memorize. I answered every question perfectly, but I was distracted. I would at least be home at my normal time today. I spent the whole day worrying, not just about Kanao, but about everyone. Thoughts of the night before and the information for the trip clashed in my brain, which was unpleasant. Ken Yamashita’s wife was named Mitsuri. That was at least easy to remember, because it was the same as the late Love Hashira, Mitsuri Kanroji. Cherries. His two sons were named Takeshi and Ryuji, four and two, respectively. Last night was terrible. His third child was due at the beginning of August. Kanao was feeling light-headed. He’d been a councilman for three years. Would I also get sick on this trip? It was a nightmare. I couldn’t wait to get home.

I was so relieved when I clocked out. The whole way back up the mountain, I tried not to think about my trip or what had happened the previous night. The only problem, however, was that there was nothing else to think about. I tried to fill my mind with happy memories from the past. I found myself thinking about when Nezuko and I were very little. Takeo was a toddler and Hanako was an infant. We were playing with a ball out in front of the house. The ball rolled into a thicket, and Nezuko and I spent what seemed like hours trying to find it. During our search, we found a bright white rock that was nearly perfectly square-shaped, and we were mesmerized by it and thought it was magic. We nearly forgot all about the ball. It did make me smile. The mind of a child was so beautiful. I still missed the sounds of my youngest siblings’ laughter. Had they all survived, none of them would be that little anymore. It had been five years. But, growing up was beautiful, too.

When I got home, I was surprised to find Nezuko and Aoi sitting in the doorway. They both looked wrung out and exhausted.

“What happened?” I asked cautiously.

“Inosuke and Zenitsu got sick again,” Nezuko answered meekly.

“Oh…”

“And, um, Tanjiro?” Aoi added. “Kanao got dizzy. She’s been sleeping all day. So, we got rid of all the leftovers from last night’s meal, too. There’s rice crackers for dinner.”

My heart sank. I was very nervous when I reached my bedroom door. The light was off. I knocked lightly once.

“Kanao?”

It was a few minutes before I heard her response.

“Tanjiro?” Her voice sounded weak.

When I walked in the room, Kanao had pulled the bed sheets clean off my side. She was tucked into all of them like a fetus, and her hair was a frizzy mess. She didn’t look like herself at all. My blood turned cold. I knelt beside her and put my hand on her forehead.

“Aoi told me that you got dizzy,” I said. “Are you hurt? Did you fall down?”

“No,” she whispered. “I was on the couch when I got dizzy. Aoi was right there. She and Nezuko didn’t go to work today. Inosuke and Zenitsu couldn’t keep anything down.”

“That’s horrible,” I replied. “But, did you get sick, too?”

“I feel a little nauseas, but only when I sit up or stand. I didn’t eat any of the cherries, so Aoi thought it could’ve been the hot pot, too. I’ve been sleeping on and off, so maybe I just got a mild case of whatever it was.”

“I can’t leave now,” I said, placing my hand on her cheek. “If you’re sick, too, I’m going to be worried about you on my trip. Nezuko and Aoi are going to be completely overwhelmed. They won’t be able to go to their jobs, so maybe I shouldn’t…”

“No, Tanjiro. Don’t worry about us,” insisted Kanao. “You need to go on this trip. If it’s just food poisoning, Zenitsu and Inosuke will be better in a few days. I’ll feel better tomorrow. I most likely don’t have food poisoning. I could just be a little under the weather. Nezuko and Aoi feel fine, so I don’t think you’ll get sick, either.”

I sighed. “It doesn’t make a difference. I’ve never left you sick before.”

She shifted her position and released the covers.

“It’s time for bed, Tanjiro. Please, just lie down. You can hold my hand and we’ll keep each other warm. No more worrying tonight.”

My head was getting heavier by the second. She was right, so I wrestled my shirt over my head and got in bed. She cuddled close to me, resting her head on my chest. She didn’t roll all the way over to me like she normally did. I could tell she was only comfortable in a certain position. The weather this month had been inconsistent in temperature, and that sometimes caused illness. I squeezed her hand, our symbol for “I love you” or a kiss for when we weren’t actually able to say “I love you” or kiss. I just had to get the trip over with, and then my life could return to some normalcy. She squeezed my hand back. What a month…

In the morning, I felt cold. Before I really came to, I just knew that I was cold. When my eyes finally opened, I realized why. Kanao was gone. She wasn’t in the bed or the room. Even if she woke up before me on a Sunday, she usually didn’t get up without me. I shook my head. At first, I didn’t believe it. But, no, Kanao really wasn’t there. I opened our clothes bin to find my change of pants, and I realized that all of Kanao’s clothes were still in it. Had she left the room still in her night kimono? I began to fret.

Sure enough, when I went outside the room, I saw Kanao sitting on the couch in her night kimono with a thermometer in her mouth. Aoi was sitting next to her and looking carefully at her wrist, which I inferred meant that she was checking her vitals. She took the thermometer out of Kanao’s mouth and inspected it with a raised eyebrow.

“Kanao, what happened?” I gasped.

“I… threw up a little,” she replied. “But, I didn’t get as sick as Inosuke or Zenitsu, so I should be okay.”

“But, neither of them were dizzy,” Aoi added.

“Okay, that’s it,” I declared. “I’m not leaving. I’m going down to Mr. Fukuhara’s house today and telling him I can’t go because of a family situation. He’ll understand. I’ll just go on the next trip!”

“Tanjiro, I told you,” Kanao said firmly. “I’m fine. You know I can handle myself.”

It was true. She had been incredibly strong as a slayer, and she was incredibly strong as a woman, too. In my stress and worry, I had forgotten that. I sighed.

“Okay, but since it’s my day off today, please let me be with you.”

“No, you’re going to prepare for your trip.”

“But…”

“No buts. You know what you have to do.”

It was a rarity when Kanao was stern with me. She was kind of like my mother that way. When my mother’s more serious side came out, it demanded respect from the whole house. In my experience, women often knew better, so I nodded and went out to the storage room to start looking for things to pack. However, I still listened to the rest of Aoi and Kanao’s conversation through a crack in the door. It wasn’t rude eavesdropping. This was a conversation that had to do with me, too.

“You have no temperature,” Aoi was saying. “But, it could still escalate into one. The flu can onset rapidly without warning and has varying symptoms.”

“You’re sure it’s the flu and not food poisoning?” Kanao asked.

“I haven’t ruled out food poisoning, nor am I saying it’s definitely the flu,” Aoi replied. “We’re just going to keep monitoring it, okay?”

“All right,” Kanao said. “I’m going back to sleep.”

“Are you dizzy now?”

“A little.”

“Then, yes, please, lie down. I’ll get you another cold washcloth.”

I banged my head against the wall a few times. I did it lightly, or my hard head would’ve broken something. I was frustrated because Kanao wasn’t taking this seriously. It was almost like she was downplaying being sick on purpose. She didn’t want me to be worried on the trip, and I understood that. I knew she had Aoi in case something happened. Kanao had become very strong with saying how she really felt, so maybe she truly wasn’t worried about it. Still, I was kind of annoyed.

There were a few things I needed for my trip that had to buy from downtown, so I made a quick run that afternoon. I was impatient to get back home. When I came back, I found Zenitsu sitting on the couch, huddled in several blankets and drinking what looked like tea. I hadn’t seen him in days. His blonde hair was disheveled and his skin was pale.

“Hey, Tanjiro,” he muttered without looking up at me.

“How do you feel?”

“Like total crap,” he answered. “But, this medicine Aoi gave me is working so far.”

I thought for a minute. “So… what exactly are your symptoms now?”

“My stomach finally settled, but I feel tired and gross,” he explained. “Aoi said I can only eat rice today.”

“What else did Aoi tell you?”

“Well, she told me that because I got sick off of something I ate, it’s out of my system by now. So, I should stop feeling gross by tonight and be able to eat normally tomorrow.”

Now, I knew how to compare that to Kanao’s symptoms.

“Where’s Aoi now?” I asked.

“With Inosuke,” Zenitsu replied and finally managed a smile. “He’s acting like a little kid because he doesn’t feel well and wants Aoi by his side. She’s actually indulging him and it’s kind of cute, to be honest.”

If Aoi was with Inosuke, that meant Kanao didn’t need her. I sighed with relief. Then, I found Kanao out on the back steps. She was looking at something in her lap, and I realized it was Kaburamaru.

“Hey, there,” I said.

“Kaburamaru knew I was unwell,” Kanao laughed. “I came out for some fresh air and he immediately came out of his burrow for me. I’m amazed every day by how intelligent he is.”

I sat down next to her. Kaburamaru slithered into my lap, too. I touched his head with my finger, and he actually looked straight at me. He was the most unusual snake. It made me smile. But, I was smiling mostly because Kanao seemed to be feeling better.

“Do you still feel dizzy?”

“It comes and goes,” she answered. “Yesterday, it was all day, and today, it was just in the morning. I feel fine now, but I’m getting tired again. I thought being outside would wake me up, but the fatigue comes on very strong sometimes.”

She was dressed in her favorite blouse and skirt combination and her hair was shiny and combed. It was pulled to the left side like it always was. She had clearly taken a bath while I was gone. She looked healthy now. I put my arm around her. She leaned right into my shoulder.

“Do you feel better about leaving now?” Kanao asked.

“Yes, but only marginally.”

“Have you finished your preparations?”

“Yes, except packing, which I’ll do tonight.”

“All right, then. Sit out here with me for a while.”

We sat there like that while Kaburamaru climbed all over us. His favorite position was draped over both of our shoulders, with his head by Kanao and his tail by me. He liked both of us, but he clearly liked Kanao better. He actually had a personality. It was so interesting. I had never heard the full story of Iguro’s family history, although I did know that Kaburamaru was not an ordinary snake. I looked at Kanao and realized she had actually fallen asleep on my shoulder. I guessed that she was really trying to fight something off. I rubbed her shoulder with my thumb. When in love, it was natural to worry. That was the case with any kind of love. I was sure that it would be all right.

That feeling only lasted a few hours, though. In bed, Kanao wouldn’t move closer to me. She was lying in place rigidly. I asked her if she was okay.

“Oh, I’m fine, my stomach just feels better when I lie on my back.”

“How does your stomach feel?” I asked, thinking about what Zenitsu told me.

“It just feels fizzy.”

“What do you mean ‘fizzy?’”

“I’m just being cautious.”

“All right, well, if you feel like you’re going to be sick, just squeeze my hand, okay?” I told her.

“Yes, but I think I’ll be okay.”

She squeezed my hand four times that night. My anxiety about leaving was now complete dread. I did not sleep well that night. Thankfully, we were making the trip by car, so I could take a nap on the way. It would send the wrong impression to Mr. Fukuhara, though. Aoi listened to me describe what happened to Kanao the previous night with a furrowed brow. She made a face like she knew something.

“Do you know what she has?” I asked desperately.

“I have a hunch,” she answered. “I don’t want to worry you any more, so I’ll leave you with this… it’s totally treatable and she’s going to be fine.”

“Thank you, Aoi,” I sighed. “Please, take care of her.”

“Of course.”

I said goodbye to everyone right after breakfast. Nezuko gave me a tight hug and I patted her on the back.

“Brother’s going on a business trip!” she teased. “Have fun!”

“It’ll be a blast,” I forcibly chuckled.

After that, I went to my room. Kanao was still out cold. I wasn’t sure if she was going to wake up. I knew that if I left without kissing her, I would never forgive myself. I laid back down for just a few minutes. I gingerly brushed my finger over her cheek, the same way she did to me when we woke up on the morning after our wedding.

“Kanao, I’m leaving now. I’ll be back in four days.”

She took a big inhale, then opened her eyes halfway.

“Okay. I will miss you.”

“I love you, Kanao Kamado.”

“I love you, too. And, please, don’t worry.”

It was too late. I was going to worry about her the entire trip. But, I told her I wouldn’t. I kissed her on her cheek softly, and she fell asleep again. I smelled her hair. She didn’t smell sick, so maybe it would be gone by the time I returned. Leaving her was never easy, and especially not like this, but I had to do it. Mr. Fukuhara was waiting for me at the bottom of the mountain.

The nearest village to the South was still a two and a half hour car ride. When I got to the car, I loaded my bags and prayed to the gods that the trip wouldn’t be hell. Mr. Fukuhara didn’t say anything to me about how haggard I was. We had to get going. I looked out the window as we drove away, watching the village get smaller with the distance.

Chapter Text

Within Me

I was kneeling in the bathroom by the toilet, my arms trembling. It had happened again. That was five times in one night, now carried over to the morning. I had only been awake for ten minutes when I felt it all rushing up again. I didn’t know how I had anything left in me. Now that Inosuke and Zenitsu were on the mend, Aoi and Nezuko went back to their own jobs. They left shortly after Tanjiro did, and then I got up. I remembered what Aoi had told me about how the flu onset randomly, and this was definitely random. I would have to wait until Aoi came home from work to update her. For the time being, I was going to stay in my room and sew. Aoi told Zenitsu and Inosuke to only eat rice while they were recovering, so that’s what I would do, too.

Inosuke and Zenitsu were still keeping to themselves, so I used that opportunity to take a bath. The warm water and steam felt good. I had done the same thing the previous day. It made me feel a lot better. Then, I got dressed and did my hair. I may not have been feeling well, but I was going to dress like I had a presentation. I wasn’t going to let the next four days be defined by missing my husband, although I already missed him a lot. I resumed my sewing, and within just the afternoon, it felt like the entire night had never happened. I felt even better just a few hours later. It was the strangest thing. It had to have been food poisoning after all. What had happened to me was the same thing that happened to Inosuke and Zenitsu. I wasn’t going to think too much about it.

That night, dinner felt strange without Tanjiro. Nezuko made noodles with a simple broth for dinner that night, but I kindly told her I was just good with my rice.

“It’s okay, Kanao,” Nezuko encouraged me. “I made soup because we’ve all had a rough week. It’s totally gentle for your stomach.”

“Maybe just a cup instead of a bowl,” I said.

Inosuke was drinking his bowl noisily.

“That means more for me! Your noodles are THE BEST, Nezuko!”

Nezuko pretended to be flattered, and Zenitsu and I laughed. Aoi, however, stayed stoic. She didn’t say anything about Inosuke’s messy eating, something she normally would’ve scolded him for. She ate her noodles without a word, and didn’t look at anyone. The rest of us continued to chat normally while Aoi ate in silence. While we all were aware of how strange it was, none of us said anything at first. The awkwardness got too much to ignore, however, and it was Inosuke who spoke.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asked, inching closer to her. “You’re not sick, too, are ya?”

“No, I’m all right, dear,” Aoi answered. “It was a busy day at the clinic. I’m just tired.”

“I know something that’ll cheer you up!” Inosuke declared happily. “Let’s read together! Only this time, we’ll do it romantically on the couch.”

“That sounds lovely, dear, but it’s going to have to wait until tomorrow.”

“Awwww, you two read together?” Nezuko cooed. “That’s adorable!”

“Is there any dessert?” Inosuke asked.

“No, sorry,” chuckled Nezuko. “I thought something sweet would push us over the edge, so I didn’t buy any.”

“We should all be better by tomorrow, though,” Zenitsu said. “Let’s all get dango. Then, when Tanjiro comes back, we can just do it again.”

“Sounds excellent,” I agreed.

I took small bites of my rice and small sips of my soup. I was feeling much better, but I didn’t want to risk it. We all cleaned up dinner together. But, when I tried to go back to my room, I heard Aoi’s voice behind me.

“Kanao, we need to talk.”

I was confused. “Um, sure.”

Aoi walked into the corner, as if she was trying to establish distance. This was a private discussion. I was hesitant, but I followed her.

“When was your last period?” she asked me.

“Does that affect the flu?”

“Just tell me.”

“It was a month ago,” I recalled. “If it’s the beginning of April now, I want to say it came very early in March. To be honest, I don’t really remember.”

“Is it exactly twenty-eight days, or is it sometimes late?” Aoi pressed on.

“Sometimes it’s a day early, and then other times it can be late,” I answered. “Sometimes it can even be very late, like three days.”

“So, you didn’t assume anything was unusual about this month.”

“Not really,” I replied. “I was expecting it to come tomorrow, actually.”

“Do you have symptoms like this before you get your period?”

“Well, I usually have this fatigue, but no, this dizziness and the vomiting are never part of it,” I said. “If I have my period on top of the flu, are you worried I’m going to get sicker?”

“You don’t have the flu,” Aoi informed me. “You don’t have food poisoning, either. I just didn’t want to tell you while Tanjiro was getting ready to leave.”

“What do you mean?”

“Kanao… you’re pregnant.”

I stared at Aoi for a few seconds, then slowly brought my hand to my mouth. Carefully, I began to connect the dots. It was the beginning of April. All of March, Tanjiro was never home. He was at the council building late many nights. Even when he was home at his usual time, he had been so tired that he had gone straight to bed. We hadn’t had much time to be intimate before he left for his business trip… except for that one night. I counted back the weeks in my head. It all made sense. There was no way it was anything else.

“Aoi, I think you’re right,” I breathed. “No, I know you’re right.”

“I need to test you to see how far along you are,” Aoi explained. “I can’t do that at home. You’ll have to come with me downtown tomorrow. Nezuko will come with us, but we don’t have to tell her anything.”

“Okay,” was all I said.

Suddenly, the dizziness from the morning rushed back to me and caught me off guard. I wobbled, and Aoi caught me by the shoulders.

“Go sit down, I’ll be right back,” she said.

Aoi helped me to the couch. My vision was blurry, and my ears were ringing. My mind was only halfway in reality. Suddenly, Aoi was back with a glass of water.

“Here, Kanao, drink this.”

I could only take tiny sips. Aoi gave me a cold cloth for my forehead and told me to go lie down. I wasn’t aware that my feet were moving. I got back in bed and swaddled myself in the covers. Their warmth brought back my senses. My fingers could feel the sheets. Even with my little remaining vision, I could see the texture of the wood in the ceiling. The taste of the noodle broth still lingered on my lips, and I could hear my breathing becoming more regulated. Tanjiro wasn’t there, but his side of the bed still smelled like him. I didn’t have the good nose he did, but I would always recognize the scent of the love of my life. I thought about what this was going to mean for Tanjiro. When he left, he thought I had food poisoning or the flu. He was going to come home and learn this, instead. How was I going to tell him? What would his reaction be? I had to tell him that we were having a child, that we were going to be parents. I couldn’t wait for him to come home. I wished I could tell him right that very second. Would he be upset, though? We had talked about having a family, but he implied that he wanted to wait. This was a lot earlier than we planned. Would this ruin the promotion he just received? I was thinking so much about Tanjiro, but then I realized how much this was going to mean… for me. My heart skipped a beat and I let out a small gasp. There was something inside me, something living, and it was going to grow. It would change my body, but it would also change so much more. For nine months, I was going to feel him, get to know him, and exist with him. He may have just been a speck at the moment, but I was already changed. I was a mother now.

I suddenly burst into tears. It wasn’t because I was afraid, although I was. I was far more overjoyed. To be a mother… it was a huge honor! I thought of Kanae. She always wanted me to fall in love, but could she have seen this far into my future? She couldn’t have, but I knew she’d be crying along with me if she could see this. I moved my hands to my stomach instinctively. I knew I wouldn’t feel my baby for a while, but he was there. And, the most bewildering thing of all was that I already loved him. Love was truly such a wonderful, powerful thing. How was it possible that my baby was here? It was because Tanjiro and I fell in love, and love lead us to the incredible. He and I made this child together. It wasn’t just my baby, it was Tanjiro’s baby, too. The tears started falling even harder as I thought about that. My child was going to have the best father in the world. I was crying and grinning ear to ear at the same time. I was afraid someone might hear me, so I put my pillow over my face and cried into it. My whole body was shaking, but not like I was going to be sick. It was shaking with joy. I couldn’t contain myself. I wanted to say something to my baby, like an introduction, even sing him lullaby already. It was so amazing. Who knew a feeling like this existed?

The next day, I went to the doctor’s office with Aoi and Nezuko. Nezuko was completely unaware, and Aoi and I didn’t let on.

“I’m so sorry it’s this bad, Kanao,” she told me.

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied with a smile. “This is really just a precaution.”

When we reached the clinic, Aoi ran a few standard tests. She confirmed I was five weeks pregnant. Then, she outlined everything that I should expect in the next few months.

“In the first trimester, it’s a lot more likely for the embryo to die,” Aoi explained. “So, it’s best not to tell people that you’re pregnant until after three months.”

“Not even Tanjiro?”

“No, definitely tell him right away. I was referring to the others.”

“How likely is it for it to die?” I asked in a small voice.

“You are most likely fine, Kanao, these are just things I have to tell you as a doctor. I will be with you every step of the way, and I can do some of your checkups at home if you wish.”

She went on to tell me that my morning sickness would likely continue for another month or even longer, and that each day would vary with intensity. I thought to myself, if I was going to be fainting and vomiting for more than a month, everyone in the house would figure it out fast. It was going to be hard to hide. Aoi told me how often I would need checkups, then she showed me a chart that had pictures of the baby’s development. I was amazed. Something that started out so small would grow so quickly. I was actually forming another human in my body. Aoi also went over what I wouldn’t be allowed to eat while pregnant. She told me I would start to crave certain foods around four to five months, that my mood and symptoms would fluctuate greatly, and how the rest of my body would react as the baby got bigger… and also, as I got bigger. She was very thorough, and explained everything in a way that made sense. At the end, she smiled and hugged me. I smiled and hugged her back.

“Kanao, congratulations,” she said. “I’m so happy for you, and you’ll be a great mom.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “But, Aoi… I’m still pretty scared.”

“That’s normal, Kanao, this is huge. But, know that you’ll have all of us by your side. We will always be there for each other. And, most importantly, you have a wonderful husband.”

I felt tears in my eyes again. I was still overthinking about Tanjiro’s reaction. In my head, I recited our overthinking mantra, Today is a peaceful day and tomorrow will be, too. No need to run, no need to fight, I will make it through. I knew he would be overjoyed. Thinking about how overjoyed he’d be was so exciting.

When I left the clinic, I couldn’t go home right away. It was my turn to cook that night, and there was no food left. In the chaos of the last few days, nobody had bought anything. My first thought was a sashimi platter, but I couldn’t eat raw fish. I thought about how I’d have to find some reason to convince the others not to make anything with raw fish, although I wouldn’t have to eat it if they did. The other three were clever, and they would immediately figure it out. I smiled, though. This would affect them, too. I thought back to what Nezuko said while we were at the onsen, about what would happen if the family got bigger. We’d adapt. And, even if it got too big to the point where we couldn’t all share a house anymore, we’d still be a family. I went to the market and found some things to make a stir fry, even though we’d probably end up having it again on Saturday when Inosuke cooked. And, we’d end up eating leftovers a lot because Tanjiro wasn’t home. It would be an anxious three days for me with him not around, especially with this news. I thankfully did not feel that sick at that moment, although I was getting tired. When I got home, I took a nap.

That evening, Nezuko approached me in the kitchen as I was getting ready to cook.

“Hey, Kanao,” she said. “I was thinking… you should rest tonight. I don’t mind cooking two days in a row. I’ll still make whatever you bought.”

“Aoi said I’m all right,” I told her.

“But, did she completely rule out you getting sick again?”

“Well, no,” I admitted. “But, I feel okay now. It’s only stir fry. It won’t take that long.”

“Um, I’m still going to sit here at the table, if that’s all right with you.”

“Yes, that’s okay.”

Nezuko would figure it out first. I almost decided to tell her right then. I cooked without any problems and we all had a nice meal. After dinner, Aoi and Inosuke cuddled up on the couch together and read a book, as she had promised. Inosuke was getting a lot better at reading. He was still only at a young adult level, but he was a lot more enthusiastic about it when he was with Aoi. That night, Zenitsu asked Nezuko for another romantic stargazing. That meant I was alone. Well, I wasn’t really alone. I laid down in my night kimono and traced a circle around my navel. It suddenly occurred to me that I was going to have to buy bigger clothes in the next few months. I certainly wouldn’t be able to wear my favorite skirts for much longer. I chuckled to myself. I was going to get pretty round! I knew I’d figure it all out in time. But, what would I do with all the clothes once the baby grew up? Well, I usually didn’t allow myself to think too far forward, but I supposed I’d just pass them off to Nezuko and Aoi. I hadn’t heard anything from Nezuko about Zenitsu trying to propose to her anymore, so maybe he had stopped. I knew how badly she really did want to marry him, though. Tanjiro and I had been married for less than six months, and we were already having a child. We were going to need to make more money. I had missed the outdoor market to sell my sewing because of the chaos and being sick. Maybe I did need a job. I was the only one in the family who didn’t have one. Well, maybe it was too late now. I was going to be a full-time mother. I could still sew for the next nine months, until I couldn’t bend over anymore.

The next day, Zenitsu took over Tanjiro’s usual day to cook. He made a large sushi buffet for dinner. He was very excited about it, too, because Aoi had finally cleared him and Inosuke to eat raw fish. I couldn’t, so I politely told him that I would eat the leftover stir fry instead.

“Are you still not feeling well?” Nezuko asked.

I hadn’t had any morning sickness that day, aside from some minor dizziness when I first woke up. I was feeling a little wonky in the stomach, but not enough to get sick.

“I just want to lean on the safe side,” I said with a smile. “Raw fish might make it worse. It’s no offense, Zenitsu. Maybe I’ll eat it tomorrow.”

“None taken,” he assured me. “But, seriously, are you okay?”

“You’re still sick because you miss Tanjiro!” Inosuke guessed. “I know I’d get sick if I missed Aoi!”

Aoi blushed deeply, but stayed composed.

“Don’t worry guys, Kanao is not contagious,” she said.

“Well, that’s good,” Zenitsu said. “But, please, feel better soon.”

“To be honest,” I replied. “I’m going to be sick for a while, so I apologize in advance for any trouble it causes.”

Zenitsu and Inosuke looked puzzled. Then, Nezuko went wide-eyed, gasped loudly, and covered her mouth with both of her hands.

“Are you PREGNANT?!?!” she shrieked through her fingers.

I smiled. “Yeah…”

Nezuko immediately sobbed and threw herself into Zenitsu’s arms. Inosuke continued to stand there. He had his boar hide on, so I couldn’t see his expression. I knew that Aoi told me not to tell them right away, but technically Nezuko figured it out by herself. Still, it felt sort of odd to tell them before I told Tanjiro.

“Congratulations, Kanao!” Nezuko bawled. “This is beautiful, this is wonderful… but, it feels strange that brother isn’t here…”

“There, there, honey,” Zenitsu stroked her hair lovingly. “We won’t tell him. We’ll make sure it’s still a surprise.”

Nezuko took my hand and pulled me into the embrace, so I was hugging both of them. The front of Zenitsu’s shirt was soaking wet already. I laughed.

“I just can’t believe it,” Nezuko sniffed, her nose running. “I’m an auntie! Well, not yet.”

“Hey, Aoi, Inosuke, get in here!” Zenitsu called.

However, Inosuke was suddenly standing to the side with Aoi. He was whispering something in her ear. Aoi listened to him intently with the most confused expression.

“No, Inosuke, that’s not an appropriate question,” Aoi said in a hushed voice.

“What about this?”

He whispered something else.

“That’s not an appropriate question, either.”

“Not even this?”

He whispered something else.

“NO!" Aoi barked. "Especially not that!”

“Guys!” Zenitsu called again. “We’re doing a group hug!”

“Oh, coming!” Inosuke chirped.

He came bounding over. Aoi sighed, but with a smile, then she joined in, too. Everyone’s arms were around each other with me at the center.

“I’m not sure we should be group hugging without Tanjiro,” said Aoi.

“No, he deserves a private one,” replied Nezuko. “One with all the love just for him. Oh, my… I can only imagine what this will be like for him!”

“Hey, Kanao, are we going to, like, squeeze it out of you hugging you like this?” Inosuke asked.

“Ino…SUKE!” Aoi scolded.

I could only imagine what his other questions were.

With the secret out, no one was surprised when I was back in the bathroom at six-thirty in the morning the next day, or when I was in at seven-thirty, and eight-fifteen. Aoi had to work, but Nezuko took the morning off to help me. We were sitting on the couch, and she was massaging my shoulders. It felt nice. Aoi had left some medicine behind in case I needed it. Tanjiro would be home in the evening.

“How do you feel now?” Nezuko asked.

“Um, light-headed,” I answered. “My stomach seems to have settled, but I’m afraid to eat anything.”

“You should rest. Then, later, you might be able to eat. I can only stay another hour, then I have to go, too.”

“Thank you for everything you’ve done, Nezuko,” I said with a smile. “I just can’t help but think about it… Tanjiro has no idea what he’s coming home to today.”

“Oh! I’m going to cry again,” Nezuko choked up. “I specifically asked Zenitsu on a date downtown tonight so that we wouldn’t be home when Tanjiro arrives. If I am, I’m just going to start sobbing and spoil everything.”

I chuckled. “What are you and Zenitsu going to do?”

“I have no idea. I just told him to meet me at the clinic and then we’d go out from there,” replied Nezuko. “I just can’t be in the house. He’s totally in on the plan. All of us understand that this is a private moment between you and Tanjiro. I think Inosuke and Aoi are going to wait for him so there’s someone else home when he gets here, then they’re going to excuse themselves out on a date, too.”

“I think I’ll just stay in my room and sew,” I said. “That’s what I’ve always done while waiting for him.”

“You should be sleeping and resting,” Nezuko said firmly. “If you try to sew, you’ll strain your eye and your brain, and then you’ll get dizzy and throw up again. And, take Aoi’s medicine according to the directions she left.”

“I’ll take the medicine,” I assured her. “But, I really feel fine now, just light-headed.”

“I’ll get you a cold cloth when I’m finished,” Nezuko said. “And, I wish you all the best tonight, Kanao. This will be such a special moment for the two of you… I mean, three of you.”

I thought about that for a minute. It was true. I was not just one person. It was like there were three of us. In fact, we’d never go back to just being two. From now to forever, there would be three of us. It was amazing how many irreversible things there were in life. Actually, that was almost everything. I thought about my life. If all of my experiences were taken back, I would be a completely different person. There were some experiences in my life that were unpleasant, like losing Kanae and Shinobu, that I would’ve taken back if I could. And, then there were others that I would never take back, and those were the ones that involved Tanjiro. This was yet another stop in my life, but this one was far greater and irreversible than all of the others combined. This was a journey all its own. At the end of this journey, a child would be born, and my life would never be the same again. But, I was ready. My hands went to my stomach again. I felt Nezuko’s fingers on my shoulders tense.

“Kanao? Are you going to be sick again?” she asked nervously.

“No, I feel fine,” I answered. “I’m just… connecting with the baby.”

“Oh,” Nezuko breathed happily. “I like that. I looked at the diagram Aoi showed you, too. I can’t believe that right now, your baby is only the size of a pea! And, that’s how all of us start out! Me, you, Tanjiro… and here you and Tanjiro are, starting it all over again.”

Nezuko was so emotional. It was no wonder she and Zenitsu were perfect for each other. I figured they would finally be engaged soon. She gave me the washcloth for my head and then I went back to my room. I was certain I was not going to throw up anymore. I was also certain that I wouldn’t sleep. How could I, when Tanjiro would be home later? I kept tracing my fingers over my stomach, which kept me calm. The baby calmed my nerves. I lifted the hem of my shirt and pressed my fingers to my skin. That was even better. I let out a small “hmmm.” I was at peace. I guessed that was the reason, according to Tanjiro, I hummed in my sleep. There was nowhere more peaceful than next to him, of course. I realized that we wouldn’t be able to make love for nine months, and we only made love once in the last month. But, that love had been beautiful, and it was even more beautiful because it brought us here. It gave us our baby. Our baby.

“Just wait until your father comes home,” I whispered. “He’s going to be so excited.”

Chapter Text

Between Us

On the last day of negotiations with the other village, Ken Yamashita invited me to lunch. We had some time before the final discussion, and then the verdict would be decided later in the evening. I was obligated to agree. So, we found a small ramen shop and had lunch there.

Mr. Yamashita didn’t look as much like Tokito in person as he did in his picture, but I still noticed some similarities. He was much more personable than I thought he was going to be. He had an amicable air about him, and his voice was soothing to listen to. With his superior hearing, Zenitsu was able to tell if a person was good at singing just by their speaking voice. I imagined he would probably say that about Mr. Yamashita. It was a pleasant surprise, and I was starting to think Mr. Fukuhara was right. Maybe we would end up getting along.

“I know that my colleagues probably told you that I’m thirty,” Mr. Yamashita was saying. “But, I only turned thirty a week ago.”

“Well, my colleagues probably told you that I’m older than I really am, too,” I replied.

“So, you’re not twenty-one?”

“I’m eighteen,” I said. “I’ll turn nineteen in July.”

I hated not telling the truth. I felt comfortable enough around Mr. Yamshita to tell him.

“Wow!” Mr. Yamashita exclaimed with a smile. “You know, my guys all liked you from the beginning. You’re more special than we all thought, Mr. Kamado.”

A shiver went up my spine.

“Please, you don’t need to be so formal. When we’re not in a work setting, I’m all right if you just call me ‘Tanjiro.’”

“All right,” Mr. Yamashita smiled. “That works for me. So, tell me more about yourself. How long have you been married to your wife, Kanao?”

He actually got Kanao’s name right. Very few people did, so I started to smile. I could tell that Mr. Yamashita was a sincere person.

“It’ll be six months very soon.”

“That’s incredible.”

He didn’t ask how we met, which was a relief. There was no way I could have lied about the Demon Slayer Corps. But, I had requested Mr. Fukuhara not to mention it. He had probably been told some other story about my background already.

“What about you?” I continued. “You have a family, and another baby on the way.”

“Ah, yes,” Mr. Yamashita laughed. “They are my pride and joy. Having two boys is a lot, though. We really hope the new baby is a girl. My wife has been to three priests, just to be sure, and that’s what all of them have said. Still, you never know.”

When we were done eating lunch, Mr. Yamashita actually treated me. I didn’t know what to do with such hospitality. We walked back to the council building for the final discussion, and he patted me on the back. I almost blushed. He had such charisma. There were many kinds of charismatic people in the world, but I had never known someone quite like him before.

“Let’s get this final meeting over with,” Mr. Yamashita said. “Since we’re standing on the front steps of the council building now, I’m back to calling you ‘Mr. Kamado,’ got it?”

“Sure,” was all I could manage.

The final meeting came and went, and then all that was left was the final verdict. In the end, Mr. Yamashita’s plan was approved. It really did seem like a plan that would benefit both villages, and Mr. Fukuhara was very happy. As he and I were packing our car and getting ready to leave, Mr. Yamashita came up to me again.

“It was really nice meeting you,” he said. “See you next time.”

“Yes, see you.”

In the car, Mr. Fukuhara explained to me that this village was not the only one we’d be going on trips to, but we would eventually come back. I genuinely liked Mr. Yamashita, but the only thing I could think about in the car was getting home. I felt like I had been away a lot longer than four days, not to mention the house was in disarray when I left. If Kanao was still sick… as much as I tried to think about other things, that was the only thought I kept coming back to. I remembered how Aoi had told me that what she had was treatable and that she’d be fine. But, I couldn’t help but worry.

The car ride seemed a lot longer than two hours. Mr. Fukuhara dropped me off at the foot of the mountain. I slung my backpack over my good shoulder, then had to manually feed it over my bad shoulder. I watched the car drive away, and then I stared up the mountain path. I wanted to go home the entire time I was on my trip. Now that I was finally home, I didn’t want to go up the mountain. It made no sense, but I was afraid of what I was walking into. It would not be the first time I returned home to find something terrible… but I couldn’t allow myself to dwell on that for a second. I took several deep breaths in. I could still do total concentration breathing, and it succeeded in calming me down. Still, my footsteps felt heavy. As a demon slayer, I had been trained to think that uncertainty of any kind meant danger. It was hard to unlearn.

I finally saw the house, but something felt off. Normally, the lights would have been on in the window, because at least one person would still be awake. Instead, the window was dark. I’d thought Nezuko or somebody else would be running out to greet me, but the air was still, as if no one was home at all. I opened the door slowly. I only saw Aoi sitting by herself on the couch in the dark. She had her coat on, like she was ready to go out. None of it made sense.

“Aoi?” I called quietly.

She turned and saw me. “Oh, Tanjiro, you’re home.”

“Where is everyone?”

“Zenitsu and Nezuko went out on a date, and actually, me and Inosuke are about to leave for one, too.”

“Where’s Kanao?”

“She’s in your room,” Aoi said. “She was lying down.”

My heart immediately sank. Was she still sick? It had to have been worse than I thought. I tiptoed cautiously to our room. I opened the door very slowly, so I wouldn’t wake her up. But, to my surprise, she wasn’t asleep. She was sitting at our desk, calmly working on a sewing project. She looked up and smiled when she saw me.

“Welcome home, Tanjiro,” she said.

“Hey, there,” I replied and shut the door behind me. “Aoi told me you were lying down. Are you still sick?”

“I’m all right. I’m feeling a little bit better.”

“Do you still have food poisoning?”

“Actually,” she said, slowly standing up. “I never had food poisoning.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Then, do you have the flu?”

“No, it’s not the flu, either.”

“Then what is it?” I pressed on.

She walked over to me. She took both of my hands in hers, and I was confused. She just smiled at me.

“I’m sorry I worried you,” she said. “But, it’s going to be all right.”

“I was worried about you the entire time, Kanao,” I said. “With everything that was going on in the house, I thought you were going to develop a fever or faint, or worse. You’re telling me it was really just nothing?”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean, ‘not exactly?’”

“I do have something, but it’s not the flu or food poisoning.”

“Are you okay, or are you not okay?”

It was like she was dancing around the question. That was not like her. Something had to have been very wrong.

“Tanjiro, please don’t be scared,” Kanao said softly. “Aoi told me all I needed to know. She was very informative, and she gave me all the tests.”

I was starting to get frustrated. I never got frustrated with her, but I wanted answers. Her smile was true, but her scent carried mixed emotions. I stayed composed for her.

“Okay…” I said. “Then, just tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m pregnant.”

The planet came to a screeching halt. Something imaginary but incredibly hard smacked me upside the head. A second imaginary object hit me in the stomach. I stared at Kanao, who just stood there with her hands clasped in mine. Her smile was slowly spreading over her face. I was sure my ears had deceived me.

“What did you say?” I breathed.

“I’m pregnant,” Kanao repeated, her smile stretching even more. “We’re having a baby, Tanjiro.”

First, I felt my mind completely shut off. Then, all I could feel was my heartbeat. One by one, my senses returned. My brain slowly started working again, and all of my emotions rushed back. My heart started pounding so hard I could hear it throbbing in my ears. On the first pound, I inhaled. On the second pound, I exhaled. On the third pound, I felt a dam burst behind my eyes. And, then, everything came to me.

Within two seconds, Kanao and I were holding each other. We both fell to our knees, not letting go, and sobbed into each other’s shoulders. I couldn’t catch my breath. I hadn’t even cried like this at our wedding, and that had been a day of many tears. Joy coursed through every vein in my body. My body felt light, like I could have floated away. Everything made sense now, and it turned out to be beautiful. Kanao trembled in my embrace. I clutched her closer. I had to feel her whole body against me.

“Kanao,” I finally managed. “This… This is incredible… just incredible…”

“You really think so?” she cried.

“Of course, I do,” I answered. “This is the happiest moment of my life.”

“You said you wanted to wait, though,” Kanao sniffed. “You wanted to wait because you were worried about money. This isn’t too soon?”

“No, not at all,” I assured her. “Blessings happen when they’re supposed to happen, and there’s no greater blessing than this.”

“But, what about your job?” she asked shakily.

“We’ll figure everything out,” I said. “This moment, right now, is all that matters. Please, take it in with me, just the two of us.”

“Just the three of us.”

My tears exploded even harder.

“Yes… the three of us…”

We cried the rest of our tears of joy. My chest hurt from it all, but I barely felt it.

Kanao whispered, “Tanjiro, you will be a wonderful father. I’ve always known that.”

“And, you will be a wonderful mother. We’ll raise our baby with love, and make sure he always has light in his eyes.”

She moved her head off my shoulder and looked at me. Our faces were soaked with tears, but our smiles couldn’t possibly have been wider. She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair, her safe place.

“Tanjiro, I love you so much. I am so happy to carry your child.”

“I love you, too, Kanao Kamado. I can’t wait to take this journey with you.”

“But, I’m also really scared,” she added in a small voice.

“I am, too,” I told her, cupping her face in my hand. “But, I will be right here with you. I will always be right here.”

We both knew that wasn’t completely true, but, at the moment, that wasn’t the point. This moment was about love. I was holding and kissing Kanao like never before. We’d shared many beautiful kisses. However, just when I thought they couldn’t get any better, we’d share one that completely blew me away all over again. Kanao moved my hand to her stomach. It was flat now, but it wouldn’t stay like that for long. I asked her what she was doing.

She said, “Just connect with him. Connect with our baby, Tanjiro.”

I knew that life could be cruel. I had lost my family, except for Nezuko. But, life was also filled with beauty. I’d always believed in beauty, but this was more beautiful beyond my wildest dreams. Now, I had the opportunity to start a family of my own, and I couldn’t imagine a better woman to start it with.

I waited until the beginning of June to tell the other councilman that Kanao was pregnant. I was afraid it was going to affect my work, but they were happy for me. I took another trip to the south a week later, and Mr. Yamashita and I went out for ramen again. He was telling me how his wife was getting close to giving birth.

“Weird things start happening at seven months,” he laughed.

“Well, actually… my wife is at three months now,” I told him.

His eyes lit up and he quickly slurped down his ramen.

“Wow! That’s amazing, Tanjiro! If you ever need any advice, you can call me.”

“Uh, I don’t have a telephone yet. I can’t really afford one.”

“Well, with our new courier system that we approved, you can send me a letter and it will get here pretty quick, too.”

That business trip was even harder than the first one. I was so glad when I came home. When I walked through the door, everyone else was sitting on the living room floor playing a card game. I broke into a smile.

“Who’s winning?” I asked.

They all lit up when they saw me, but none more than Kanao.

“Tanjiro!” she exclaimed, and jumped up and threw her arms around me.

“Hey, there, careful,” I laughed and hugged her back.

She was starting to show a baby bump. It made me so happy when I looked at it. Aoi told us that she was due around December tenth. It wasn’t an exact date, but that was the closest that Aoi could estimate. I was more in love with Kanao than I had ever been. I couldn’t get enough of her. On a rare night when everyone else had plans, we took a bath together. It was the first time we had been able to do that since we got married. It was absolutely wonderful.

“It’s amazing how three people can fit in this bathtub,” she joked as she happily washed my hair.

“Yes, that’s quite incredible,” I laughed.

She leaned up against my back and put her arms around my neck. My hair was still sudsy from the shampoo. The water was warm and steamy. Aoi had actually recommended that Kanao take hot baths regularly to ease any pains she might experience as the baby grew.

“I’m so glad we’re doing this again,” Kanao said. “I loved it so much after our wedding.”

“We’re even closer now than we were then.”

“Yes. I didn’t think it was possible to be closer to you.”

“Neither did I,” I laughed.

Kanao sat up and reached for the bucket sitting outside the tub.

“Okay, close your eyes so I can rinse.”

She dumped the bucket of water over my head. I hadn’t felt this good in a while. Next up came her favorite part of all, painstakingly massaging conditioner into my hair and then combing through it. I was grinning from ear to ear.

“You’re gorgeous,” I told her.

“So are you,” she returned.

“We’ve got some good genes between us.”

“Let’s see how they pay off.”

We both laughed heartily. I shifted my weight and rested my head on her chest while she did the conditioner. I had already bathed her. She loved saving me for last.

“You know, Aoi told me that, in the last trimester, it might be impossible for me to take a bath by myself, so we’ll get to do this again.”

“Can you feel anything yet?”

“Well, I still feel sick sometimes,” Kanao laughed. “Aoi told me that I’ll start to feel him move around sixteen weeks, and I’m at twelve weeks now. He’s fully formed, and now he’ll just start growing!”

“Why do we always talk about the baby like we already know it’s a boy?” I pointed out.

“Good question,” she replied. “I wasn’t really thinking about it that much. I just naturally started saying ‘he’ from the beginning, and you just started doing it, as well. But, now that I am thinking about it, it sounds forced if I try to change it to ‘she.’ Maybe it’s women’s intuition, or rather, mother’s intuition?”

She giggled happily, gently running the comb through my hair. We were both overjoyed about it and having an amazing time being in love over it, but that didn’t change the fact that our lives were forever altered dramatically. It didn’t change the fact that we were about to be set with an enormous responsibility. However, I was ready and I knew she was, too. We were both scared, but it was okay to be scared. How could we not be, over something this huge? I assured her that every night, because sometimes she would get a thought stuck in her head and start crying. I was ready to be there for her through all her emotions, but I was still pretty scared myself. The last three months had been surreal, but now that was starting to change, too. For me, it was changing because I could see her body change. She actually looked pregnant now, and therefore, the reality was hitting me harder. As she got farther along, it would continue to hit me harder. I could only imagine what it was like for her actually carrying the baby. It was an experience I’d never know, and I had to be mindful of that.

After we were done washing, we relaxed in the bath together until the water wasn’t warm anymore. We kissed happily and played with each other’s newly combed hair. When she put her head on my shoulder, I knew she could see my whole face clearly. She hadn’t been able to take her eyes off me since she told me she was pregnant. I hadn’t been able to take my eyes off her, either. She needed me more than ever, and I wanted her to know how much I loved her. And, I wanted to prove some things to myself, too.

When we got out of the bath, Kanao went into the kitchen for her “tummy tea,” which was her cute name for a special herbal tea that Aoi invented for her. It was supposed to help ease morning sickness the next day. While I was walking to my room, I was stopped by my sister. She was just as head over heels about Kanao’s pregnancy as me and Kanao. She looked at me with a big smile and big eyes.

“Hey, Nezuko,” I said. “Did you have a nice date?”

“You won’t believe what Zenitsu did!” she beamed.

I froze. Did he propose to her again?

“He bought a mandolin, just randomly, from a vendor, and wrote a song for me right then and there!” Nezuko gushed. “He made it up as he went along, and it was beautiful! Then, later, as we were walking through the gardens, he played it for me again, the exact same way! He’s just amazing! I love him so much!”

“Did you tell him that?”

“Of course I did!”

I smiled. Just then, Zenitsu came up to us and gave Nezuko a huge hug from behind. She let out a small squeal. It seemed like their relationship was healthy again, which made me happy. If Zenitsu did try proposing again, I was sure Nezuko would say yes.

“Hello, my delicate flower,” he gushed at her.

I did really wish they would cut back on the pet names, though.

“Hi, honey! I was just telling brother about your song!” said Nezuko.

“Eventually, I will give it words.”

“And, you have such a fine voice, sweetie. Thank you.”

I raised an eyebrow. I had heard Zenitsu sing a few times before, and his voice was a little too squeaky for my ears. But, love was love.

The two of them kissed a big kiss goodnight. I really wished that they wouldn’t do that in front of other people. Then, Nezuko skipped off to her room. Zenitsu turned to me.

“What do you think of another guys’ night out this weekend?” he asked cheerfully.

“I wish I could, but I can’t,” I responded. “I have to take Kanao to the doctor.”

Zenitsu blinked and his smile faded.

“What for?”

“Just some mandatory check-ups.”

“I thought Aoi was giving her those.”

“Aoi isn’t authorized for these kinds,” I explained. “Kanao’s just nervous about going by herself because it’s a doctor she doesn't know.”

“Oh, I guess,” Zenitsu said. “Well, when’s the next time you’ll be able to hang out?”

“Not sure,” I sighed. “Things are going to start changing really fast. You and Inosuke can still do stuff without me. I’m not offended.”

“I’m not offended, either,” he suddenly quipped.

I was taken aback. But, before I had a chance to question him, he quickly said goodnight and walked off to his room. I was left standing there in the hall, staring after him, when Kanao came back from the kitchen.

“Are you okay, Tanjiro?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Zenitsu can be odd.”

Kanao simply laughed. “We’re all odd. We certainly live an odd life, with six of us in one house like this.”

I smiled back. “We sure do. But, we thrive with each other. So, we’ll be just fine with one more.”

“It’ll be an adventure,” Kanao beamed. “He’ll have a happy family right there for him.”

She patted both hands to her bump. It was subtle, but I could see it. I smiled.

In our room, Kanao slipped on her night kimono, and I couldn’t help but think about how it wasn’t going to fit her soon. We laid in bed like we usually did, with me on my back and her rolled into my side, and I thought about how soon we wouldn’t be able to sleep like that, either. I mentioned that to her as she settled in.

“Oh, it’s fine, there’s plenty of room in the bed for him,” she giggled.

“So, if we’re that certain it’s a boy, what do you think his name should be?”

“We’re doing this now?” Kanao giggled again, tracing her finger in a circle on my chest.

“Why not?” I laughed back.

“Okay, what were you thinking?”

“Well, ‘Tanjiro’ is a variation of my father’s name, ‘Tanjuro,’” I explained. “So, I thought maybe we should go with a variation of my name.”

“Hmm…” Kanao mused. “What variation did you have in mind?”

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure.”

Kanao thought for a minute, bringing her hand to her chin. Then, she looked up at me.

“I have a completely different idea. Want to hear it?”

She suggested a name to me. At first, I was surprised. But, then, she started to explain her reasoning. She outlined her choice in detail, giving a whole story behind it. The more she spoke, the more I loved it. It made perfect sense. When I paired the name next to our family name in my head, I didn’t expect them to go together at first. But, they sounded exactly right. By the time she finished talking, I was sold.

“I think that’s perfect, Kanao,” I breathed. “That is, if he’s really a boy.”

“Want to come up with some girls’ names while we’re at it?”

“Umm, nah,” I replied. “We can do that later.”

“Will we ever do it?” Kanao teased.

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

We both laughed and then kissed goodnight. We had come up with a name already, and it fit so well. If the baby did end up being a girl, I was sure we would find a beautiful name for her, too. But, I actually hoped it would be a boy. It was too perfect. So, we were going to keep talking about him like he was. Right before we fell asleep, we decided we weren’t going to tell anyone else about the baby’s name. We weren’t even going to talk about it with each other anymore until the baby was born. It was our little secret, something precious just between us. Kanao fell asleep before me that night. I was still awake for a long time. The baby’s name wouldn’t stop swirling through my head.

It was finally warm outside and the flowers were in full bloom. We woke up one Sunday to a beautiful, cloudless sky. That morning, Kanao wasn’t beside me when I opened my eyes. At first, I got nervous. At this point, her morning sickness had finally started to calm down, but she occasionally still woke up with symptoms. I tiptoed to the bathroom to find the door open. It was empty. She still could’ve been sick, though. Instead, I found Kanao in the kitchen with Aoi and Nezuko, all cooking at the same time. They were making way too much food for breakfast. They were practically making a grand feast.

“What’s going on, ladies?” I asked them cheerfully.

“It’s an absolutely gorgeous day, so we’re having a family picnic!” Nezuko said giddily. “We decided to start making lunch now. Or, I guess it’s more like a combination of breakfast and lunch.”

“Aoi,” Kanao said, turning to her. “I’m making those bean buns that Inosuke likes. What was your secret ingredient again?”

“It’s not really a secret ingredient,” she grumbled in response. “He just likes carrots in it instead of peas.”

“Are… you all right, Aoi?” I asked cautiously.

“Yeah, I’m fine…” she sighed. “It’s just that… Inosuke is driving me nuts, and not in the good way like usual.”

Nezuko looked up, surprised. “Really? What’s going on?”

“He’s just being so annoying!” Aoi huffed, wiping her hands on her apron. “Let’s just put it this way. He’s obsessed with Kanao’s pregnancy. He has so many questions about it. I’ll gladly answer him, but it’s all he wants to talk about. We were reading together the other night, and he interrupted at least seven times with a question. I don’t know how much more I can tolerate. I’d throw a book about it in his face, but all of the books we have down at the clinic are way above his reading level. I haven’t given him the talk yet. When he has a basic understanding of what it is, then I’ll tell him how it happens.”

“Well, I think Inosuke’s curiosity says a lot about how much he trusts you, Aoi,” Kanao replied with a smile. “If anything, that’s a positive to this, right?”

Aoi sighed. “Yeah, I guess so. This is just what I get for falling in love with a wild boar. Although, I did like how he called me his ‘Queen of the Mountain’ the other day.”

“Actually,” Nezuko chimed in. “The other day, Zenitsu was complaining about Inosuke asking the same questions to him, too.”

“What?!?!” Aoi exclaimed. “What the hell is he asking Zenitsu about pregnancy for?”

Nezuko just shrugged. “Has he said anything to you, brother?”

“Actually, no,” I said slowly. “Kanao?”

Kanao shook her head “no.”

“Well, I did tell him that it was inappropriate to ask you two,” Aoi said. “Not that it really is or anything. I just wanted to make sure he didn’t ask either of you something that would make you uncomfortable, as a precaution. But, maybe that’s why he’s bothering Zenitsu. Ugh, I really screwed that one up…”

“Don’t feel bad, Aoi,” Kanao said. “Inosuke can ask me anything.”

“Um, remember when he was whispering in my ear when you first told everyone?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Trust me, you don’t want him asking you anything.”

An awkward silence fell over everyone. Kanao and I exchanged glances, but she was also suppressing a chuckle. I had no choice but to manage a small smile back. It looked like we were the talk of the town - and literally, too. Ever since I told the other councilmen, the news that my wife was pregnant spread like wildfire. I couldn’t walk down the street anymore without being hit with everyone’s heartfelt congratulations. I actually didn’t mind the attention when it came to that. I was celebrating along with them.

We brought the picnic down to the river and spread out three blankets, one for each pair. It was absolutely idyllic outside. I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen a day quite like it. It reminded me of all my past trips to the Butterfly Mansion, way back when Kanao was just my girlfriend. Now, she was my wife, and not only that, but the mother of my future child. It was so amazing to think about. I would be nineteen in a month. My clock was ticking now, but I hardly thought about that anymore. I was so engrossed with my life. This was exactly how I had wanted these beautiful, demon-free days to be.

We’d been talking and eating for a while when a single large cloud starting to drift across the sky over our heads, casting a temporary shadow.

“Woah! Look at that cloud!” Inosuke exclaimed excitedly. “It’s a really pregnant cloud. It probably has five baby clouds in it!”

Zenitsu slammed his cup down. “Okay, seriously, what is your problem? You’re acting like a little kid!”

“How am I acting like a little kid?” Inosuke protested hotly.

“Ever since we all found out that Kanao is pregnant, you’ve been asking if everything is pregnant!” Zenitsu went on. “It’s really annoying! You do realize that you can’t do this to other women, right?”

“What?!?!” Inosuke bellowed, jumping to his feet. “It’s just a question!”

“But, really, a cloud?!?!”

Suddenly, I realized the extent of what Aoi had been talking about. I looked over and saw her slam her palm to her brow. Meanwhile, Inosuke stormed away from the picnic to the river. In one motion and a loud “HMPH,” he thrust his hand into the water and pulled out a huge, round frog. He marched back up the hill to Zenitsu and held it out.

“Inosuke! Not near the food!” Nezuko exclaimed.

“Look at this frog!” Inosuke snapped at Zenitsu. “This frog is going to have baby frogs in two days!”

“IT’S NOT PREGNANT, IT’S JUST FAT!” Zenitsu shouted. “And, frogs lay eggs, did you not know that, either?”

Aoi stood up, too. She was trying desperately to stay calm, but was not succeeding.

“Dear, now is not the time for this,” she told Inosuke. “Let’s just enjoy our lunch.”

“What happens when a human gets to be this pregnant?” Inosuke asked.

“Um, it looks like you have a watermelon in your belly!” Nezuko piped up.

She was trying to be helpful, but Aoi shot her a look. However, Inosuke calmed down for a second.

“Ohhhh, I get it,” he said slowly.

“You do…?” Aoi asked.

“Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.”

Aoi turned her back to us, but I saw her heave a sigh of relief. I still wasn’t sure what was going on, but it seemed as if a crisis had been averted.

“Good,” Zenitsu said, still angry. “Now, can you please put that frog down, Inosuke?!?!”

“Sure,” Inosuke replied.

However, instead of putting the frog down on the ground or throwing it back in the river, Inosuke tossed the frog in Zenitsu’s lap. Zenitsu let out a high-pitched squeal like a girl, then the frog jumped on his head. He fell backwards hard and started screaming.

“I’M GONNA DIE!!!!” he spazzed.

The frog finally hopped away into the bushes, but Zenitsu lay motionless on the ground.

Nezuko tapped his knee cautiously.

“Zenitsu, honey… the frog is gone… are you okay?”

In a split second, Zenitsu shot up and lunged at Inosuke. The two of them rolled down the hill into the river with a giant splash, then launched into a full-blown brawl. The other four of us stared at the two of them incredulously. Nezuko was biting her fingers, but stood frozen like she didn’t know what to do.

“ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!?!” Zenistu yelled while he pummeled Inosuke. “I COULD’VE CAUGHT DISEASE! I COULD’VE CAUGHT THE PLAGUE! YOU ARE SO DEAD, INOSUKE HASHIBIRA, SO DEAD, YA HEAR ME?!?!”

“WHAT GIVES?!?!” Inosuke bellowed back. “YOU STARTED IT! YOU’RE PICKIN’ ON ME BECAUSE OF CLOUDS!!!!”

“A CLOUD IS AN INANIMATE OBJECT AND IT CAN’T BE PREGNANT, SO YEAH I’M GONNA PICK ON YOU BECAUSE OF CLOUDS!” fumed Zenitsu. “BUT, WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER THROWS A FROG AT SOMEONE, HUH?!? HUUUUHHHH?!?!”

“There are more frogs in that river, do you two imbeciles realize that?” Aoi snapped.

It was no use. Inosuke and Zenitsu continued to wrestle in the river furiously. Somewhere in the middle, Zenitsu whipped his shirt off. They looked completely ridiculous. Aoi gave up and trudged back up the hill. She dramatically rolled her eyes and plopped down on the blanket. She frustratedly chomped into one of Inosuke’s bean buns, as if out of spite. Nezuko shuffled over to me and Kanao nervously.

“Um, brother,” she asked in a small voice. “Shouldn’t we… you know… stop them?”

“Just let them get tired of it,” I said.

“But, they’re practically killing each other!!!”

“Listen to your brother, Nezuko,” Aoi called out with her mouth full. “They’re men, let them be morons.”

“It’s true,” I said with a smile, but Nezuko was not convinced.

Zenitsu and Inosuke had switched to fighting about something completely different.

“YOU’RE NOT A MIGHTY BOAR, YOU’RE A DUMB PIG!” Zenitsu shouted.

“YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE STRAW!” Inosuke retorted.

“YOU STILL HAVE NO MANNERS!”

“YOU MAKE WEIRD NOISES IN YOUR SLEEP!”

“NO, I DON’T, CUZ I CAN HEAR MY OWN VOICE IN MY SLEEP, YOU SNORE, AND HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT SOUNDS I MAKE IN MY SLEEP?!?!”

“They kind of fight like women,” Kanao suddenly commented.

I started laughing. “I’m glad you pointed it out and not me.”

Our family was dysfunctional, that was for sure. But, Zenitsu and Inosuke would be completely over it by the next day. I reached out and took Kanao’s hand. She looked up at me and smiled back. We both knew. We were bringing our baby into a family, one that would always love, always laugh, and most importantly, would always be there for each other.

Chapter Text

Growing Every Day

The weeks continued to go by with relatively little change, aside from Kanao’s stomach slowly getting bigger. By the beginning of July, she was at sixteen weeks, and she couldn’t sleep on her side anymore. With more surface area, she took up more covers at night. That wasn’t any problem, though, because we just slept closer together. I realized I was smiling more every day, even at work. I had originally been scheduled to take another trip in September, but Mr. Takeda kindly waived it because Kanao would be in her sixth month by then. Mr. Suzuki would go with Mr. Fukuhara until after the baby was born.

One night, Kanao and I were sitting up in bed. I was reading over a work document, and Kanao was sewing. She was using her baby bump as a table. I was trying to focus on the paper, but I was secretly bursting with how adorable she looked. Then, without warning, she gasped out loud. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“What’s wrong?!?!” I exclaimed.

“I just felt him move!”

“Move… how? Like something bad?”

“No, no,” she assured me, chuckling now. “It’s kind of hard to explain. Aoi told me about this. She told me that at first it kind of feels like a flutter in my womb, and I’ve been feeling that for a couple weeks now. But, this was different. This was a much bigger movement. I hadn’t felt one like that before.”

“Phew,” I breathed. “You had me scared there.”

“I’m sorry,” she giggled. “I was just so surprised. I’m nearing that stage, you know. It’s going to be exciting.”

I smiled, while also recognizing that there were two kinds of exciting. The good kind of exciting consisted of Kanao’s sudden fits of laughter over the small things, which I thought was cute. She had started sewing clothes for the baby, and we had many inside jokes with each other. Kanao told me that the baby was already big. She assured me that that wasn’t dangerous.

“If there’s one thing I hope he doesn’t get from you, Tanjiro, it’s that hard head of yours,” she added with some nervous laughter.

The not so good kind of exciting was how Kanao burst into crying fits just as much as she did into laughing fits. Sometimes the two would follow each other in matter of seconds in either order. I was slowly losing my mind over her safety and new mannerisms. Once, she fell asleep at the dinner table. No one was offended, but it was awkward. Everyone assured me that Kanao’s pregnancy antics didn’t bother them. That was, almost everyone. One time she fell asleep on the couch, and Zenitsu said her breathing was so irregular he could hear it from all over the house. He complained it kept him from writing.

“She can’t help it, Zenitsu,” I told him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s just annoying!”

Every day was an adventure, but I never knew what kind it would be. I could deal with her emotions, as tiring as they could get. I made sure that I was there for her no matter what she was feeling. There was only one thing that was the real problem, one thing I was slowly losing my patience for and was sucking the absolute life out of me… and my wallet… and that was her cravings.

A few days before July fourteenth, which was my birthday, I was getting ready to go into town for some shopping. The other councilmen were now giving me one extra day off per month for the rest of Kanao’s pregnancy, and I had decided to take it now. I wanted to do the shopping myself, because I wanted to make sure I had my favorite birthday snacks. Everyone accumulated a list together, and I checked it one last time before I went out the door. However, I immediately noticed that the list had changed since that morning. On the bottom, I saw Kanao’s handwriting. She had added four new things to the list, and the very last one was “mochi,” written with a big circle around it and three underlines. I groaned internally. Mochi was expensive…

“Kanao,” I called out. “What kind of mochi do you want?”

“Any kind!” she answered perkily. “But, I do particularly like the matcha ones!”

Anything with matcha was even more expensive! I forcibly stifled any verbal reaction I might have made.

“Okay,” was all I called back before I trudged out the door.

Part of the reason mochi was expensive was because only one vendor in the village that made it. Her name was Mrs. Soma and she was famous for her desserts and snacks. I worried I wouldn’t be able to get it. Once I reached the village, I found Mrs. Soma’s booth. Surprisingly, it wasn’t crowded. Mrs. Soma was a kind, rotund woman, and she had seven children. This wasn’t the first time I’d been to her because of Kanao. She knew exactly what I wanted and she understood my pain all too well.

“Oh, Tanjiro! You’re in luck, I just imported a brand new batch!”

“How many flavors do you have?” I asked wearily.

“I have strawberry, peach, matcha, and red bean,” she answered.

“I know she wants matcha,” I mused. “But, she told me ‘any kind,’ as well. I don’t know what that means, though.”

“Why don’t I just give you five of everything?” Mrs. Soma announced happily. “It’ll save you another trip!”

“Huh?” I exclaimed. “I-I don’t think I can afford that.”

“Between you and me, I’ll give you a discount,” whispered Mrs. Soma. “I know just what your wife is going through, you know. And, all your acts as a councilman have been superb. You deserve a treat!”

I hated being given special treatment, but Mrs. Soma did have a point about extra trips. So, even though I was embarrassed, I accepted her offer. I had so many grocery bags and I had to get the mochi into the fridge as soon as possible. I practically sprinted up the mountain to get home. I could barely carry all of those bags with one arm. Even with Mrs. Soma’s discount, I had spent way too much on all the mochi. Still, I had no idea how much Kanao was going to end up eating. The last time I brought them home for everyone, Kanao ate all of them by herself within two days. I groaned to myself. There were still five months to go, and I already couldn’t take it. I hoped she’d switch to craving something less expensive. She also craved pork very often, which was also very expensive. I finally made it through the doorway and went to put everything in the kitchen. Upon entering, I was surprised to find Inosuke sitting at the table with his arms folded. He had his boar hide on, but he was glaring at a piece of paper in front of him.

“Uh, hey, Inosuke,” I said, putting the bags down. “What is that?”

“A LIST!” he barked.

“No need to get angry,” I said. “What’s wrong?”

“Aoi said I needed to apologize to her!” he grumbled. “But, she didn’t say what for! So, I made a list of everything I could possibly think of.”

“May I look at it?” I asked.

He nodded aggressively and folded his arms over his chest. I picked up the paper. He was getting a lot better at writing. It was still messy, but I could read it.

Dear Aoi,

1. I’m sorry I tried copying Zenitsu with the dumb names he calls Nezuko and called you “my tree.” You didn’t get it and I punched Zenitsu for it later. I hope that makes you feel better.

2. I’m sorry that I ruined your cake by putting salt in it instead of sugar.

3. I’m sorry that I took my swords out of storage and almost sliced the laundry with them. I’m also sorry that I took out my swords.

4. I’m sorry that I drooled all over your favorite skirt right after you washed it.

5. I’m sorry that you caught me peeing outside. But, Zenitsu was in the bathroom for a really, really, really long time.

6. I’m sorry that I don’t wear a shirt when I make food. I just don’t like wearing shirts, okay?

7. I’m sorry that I didn’t know what the word “concussion” meant and then told you that you give them to me. Now I know that it is a head injury and not a warm fuzzy feeling you get in your brain when you look at someone you like.

Everything on the list was either something that had happened months before or that Aoi hadn’t mentioned in a while, so it was clear Inosuke was just compiling a list of things that were still in his head. Whatever the current incident was, it had happened while I wasn’t there.

“Um, Inosuke, I don’t think Aoi is still holding most of these against you,” I said with an eyebrow raised. “Whatever she’s mad at you for, you need to talk about it with her. I know that she likes it when you tell her how you feel.”

“BUT, I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START!” Inosuke bellowed, slamming his hands on the table. “I DON’T UNDERSTAND WOMEN!”

I sighed loudly. “I’ll tell you a secret, Inosuke. I don’t think any man fully understands women.”

“Huh?!?!” Inosuke gasped. “Not even you?!?!”

“No, definitely not me,” I groaned and sat down next to him. “Not in the slightest…”

Inosuke popped off his boar hide and scratched at his head.

“Wow, I guess I’m totally screwed, then.”

“No, don’t think like that,” I tried to cheer him up. “But, in my experience, talking about it helps a lot. That can be difficult, too, but it’s better than not saying anything at all.”

“Why do you have so much mochi?” Inosuke asked.

“Because, Kanao has cravings…” I groaned and tilted my head back. “Some days, I just want to beat myself over the head with a wooden plank.”

“Wow,” Inosuke scratched at his head again. “You’re really taking this whole pregnancy thing personally, huh?”

“Well… yeah…” I said slowly. “This involves me just as much as her…”

“How, though?”

“Because… it’s my baby, too.”

“But, what makes it yours? Well, yeah, you’re married to Kanao, but it’s not like you had anything to do with it.”

My jaw dropped. I was almost at a loss for words.

“Inosuke… you… do know how pregnancy happens, right?”

“Yeah, you swallow watermelon seeds.”

My brain exploded. I guessed that Aoi still hadn’t given him the talk. I remembered my father telling me when I was eleven. I had been mesmerized. Most of the details had been lost on me, but I remembered asking him how people knew to do that.

He had smiled at me and answered, Because when you’re in love, you find yourself just wanting it naturally. It’s part of being human.

As a child, I thought that was lovely, even though I didn’t really understand. I did now, of course. Inosuke looked at me expectantly, like he was waiting for me to confirm if he was right. Instead, I simply asked him if he wanted one of the other snacks I had bought.

“OOH, YES! FEED ME!” he exclaimed, and forgot all about our conversation.

At that point, Zenitsu walked in. He eyed the mochi excitedly.

“Is this our dessert?”

“Actually, the mochi is for Kanao,” I explained.

Zenitsu gave me a long look. “All of it?”

“Well, I don’t think she’d be upset if you ate one, but these are what she’s craving most,” I went on. “The matcha are her favorite.”

“They’re my favorite, too, but I guess I’ll eat a peach,” Zenitsu said.

He fished a peach one out of the bag, looking at me the whole time. He took a bite out of it and left. I felt my blood temperature increase. He was back to giving me attitude. I thought that had been assuaged. I knew he was jealous of me for a while, then he was having trouble with the difficult parts of his memoir. After that, he and I went back to being the same old friends. And, I did hang out with him and Inosuke more often, because that’s what he wanted. Maybe I hadn’t as much since the start of Kanao’s pregnancy, but that should’ve been understandable. Zenitsu was at it again, and now he was dragging my pregnant wife into the mix. Was he jealous I was having a baby now, too? If Zenitsu and I had a falling out, despite years of friendship we built fighting along side each other, it would break the family. He had his moodiness, and I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt for a little while longer. I put the mochi in the fridge and then went straight to my room. When I walked in, Kanao was sprawled out in an awkward position. She looked like she was trying to lift one leg in the air. I was taken aback. In the orange kimono she was wearing, she looked like a single piece of fruit hanging on to two twigs for its life.

“Um, what are you doing, Kanao?” I asked.

“I’m stretching! Or, trying to,” she explained. “Aoi told me that the bigger I get, the more pressure is going to be put on my legs, so she recommended that I try and stretch them out a few times a day.”

“You look like you’re going to fall over, though,” I said.

She was actually making me nervous. My nerves had been acting up for four months.

“I’m all right!” Kanao insisted. “Maybe in a few weeks I won’t be able to do this, but, for now, I can.”

“Okay,” I said slowly. “I trust whatever Aoi tells you.”

“Oh, by the way,” Kanao added. “Aoi’s not mad at Inosuke, she’s mad at Dr. Miwa. Dr. Miwa messed up Aoi’s schedule this week and now she has less hours. Aoi’s angry because that means she won’t get paid as much this month. She was talking to herself about Dr. Miwa when she said, ‘you owe me an apology,’ and Inosuke was standing in the other room and just assumed it was meant for him.”

“That’s it?!?!” I exclaimed incredulously. “Well, where’s Aoi now, because Inosuke is actually really upset!”

“She’ll be home from work soon,” Kanao answered.

“By the way, has Zenitsu said anything questionable to you as of late?”

“He asked me when the baby is due, and I told him December,” Kanao thought. “He said something about being glad it wasn’t September because that’s his birthday month and he didn’t want to share it. I didn’t think much of it. I thought he was just being, well… Zenitsu.”

“Okay, just be on the lookout because he’s back to being a jerk like he was in January,” I warned her. “If he says anything uncalled for to you, you let me know right away.”

Kanao awkwardly shifted back to a normal sitting position.

“Tanjiro, you’re being a little dramatic, too. Zenitsu’s not out to get either of us.”

I wasn’t one hundred percent convinced on that. I just changed the subject.

“Okay, well, why didn’t you try and explain to Inosuke that Aoi wasn’t angry at him?”

“I just figured that wasn’t my business and figured they’d talk about it themselves when she got home.”

I sighed. “Well, I got your mochi. Zenitsu ate a peach, but I hid the matcha ones just for you.”

Kanao grinned. “I really do have the best husband.”

She slowly got to her feet. It was taking her a lot longer now. She walked over to me and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, which made me smile. Back out in the living room, Aoi was standing and talking to Inosuke. She was home early, probably because of the messed up hours, and she was looking at Inosuke’s list.

“Dear, I’m not mad at you for any of these things,” she said to him softly. “I was talking to myself about a work situation when I said what I said.”

Inosuke had his hands clasped behind his back like a shy little kid.

“Um, well I just want you to know that I was kind of upset.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Aoi said, now smiling. “And, I’m the one who’s sorry, dear. To tell the truth, when you explained to me what you thought a concussion was, I actually thought it was really adorable.”

“I’M ADORABLE?!?!” Inosuke beamed. “ME?!?! OH-HO-HO, SWEET!!!”

Inosuke picked Aoi up and kissed her, then pulled away when he realized me and Kanao were standing there.

“Oh, right, kissing is private,” he said.

He walked out the door still holding Aoi like that. I could hear their lips smacking from outside. I turned and gave Kanao a confused look. She thought it was funny, though, and she just giggled. She took both of my hands into hers and looked up at me.

“Our family isn’t going to break, Tanjiro. Look at it.”

I hoped she was right.

On my birthday, we had a small party. I didn’t get any presents, we just ate lots of food. Aoi baked a cheesecake for me, even though I didn’t ask for dessert. It was delicious, though. It had become a tradition to just tell funny stories after dinner on a birthday, though not necessarily about the person whose birthday it was. In fact, we knew so much about each other that we told fictitious stories instead. That night, Zenitsu told a story about a man who couldn’t walk into a room without getting hit by the door from behind. He claimed it was a story that he completely fabricated and was not directed at anyone.

“And, on the nineteenth time he got hit,” Zenitsu concluded. “His wife finally sewed him a cushion to put on his backside. The end!”

“That made no sense!” Inosuke barked.

“Well, I was making it up on the fly, so I hope it was at least entertaining.”

It could have just been because I was hyper-vigilant, but I couldn’t help notice that there were some pointed details in Zenitsu’s story. First, there was the fact that the character was hit nineteen times. It was my nineteenth birthday. There was the fact that the wife character sewed, a reference to Kanao’s hobby. Did Zenitsu want me to get smacked from behind? I decided not to say anything.

After the dinner and leftovers had been put away, I carefully snuck a slice of cheesecake out of the fridge for Kanao. I could see the yearning for more in her eyes when we were eating it. There was plenty left over for everyone. There was no reason why I was being secret about it. I just thought it was cute. She grinned from ear to ear.

“Here,” I whispered and held it out to her.

“Thank you,” she laughed quietly, and immediately took a huge bite.

“Has he gotten any bigger?”

“Aoi says that he’s still on the big side, but sometimes that just happens and it’s nothing to be worried about,” Kanao said with her mouth full. “It’s fine if I eat dessert.”

“Can you feel him right now?”

“Oh, yes, he’s crushing my pelvis.”

She was unbelievably strong. I could only imagine the things she was experiencing and feeling, and how difficult it had to be. Just the other night, she woke up in the middle of the night weeping over a dream she couldn’t remember. Then, she got up the next morning, ate two bowls of rice for breakfast, then laughed hysterically over Nezuko messing up a word. Did her constant changes in mood ever get tiring for her? I was sure they did, but she never let on. There she was, devouring a piece of cheesecake and talking about the living being inside her actually sitting on her bones like it was nothing. I felt my heart swell because I was astounded by how amazing she was. I really wouldn’t ever fully understand women. They were too incredible.

As soon as she was done eating, I pulled her in close and gave her a long, loving kiss. Her lips tasted like cheesecake. She flung her arms around my neck. Holding her was awkward now, but I loved it. I couldn’t wait until she was so round that my arm wouldn’t reach all the way.

“Good night, Kanao Kamado,” I whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she replied. “You’re not coming to bed?”

“I need to talk to my family,” I said. “I’ll be in shortly.”

I made a point of talking to my family every year on my birthday. I figured Kanao would be asleep by the time I was done. So, I went out by the flower bed and knelt down and prayed. It took me a while to get composed enough to start. It was taking longer every year.

“Today is my birthday,” I said softly. “I’m nineteen now. That means I have six years left. I will be happy to see all of you again in the next world, but now something else is happening to me. Like I told you all before, Kanao is pregnant. She’s between four and five months. I’m going to be a father soon. I don’t want to die this young, but I’ve always accepted the curse because manifesting the mark is the reason we won the war against the demons. But, now, as I’m getting closer to being a father, I’m getting more and more afraid. Not necessarily of dying, but of what I’m going to leave behind. I’ll leave behind Nezuko. She’ll be the only survivor. Everything that I ever risked was for her, and she’s going to lose me. I’ll leave behind Aoi, Zenitsu, and Inosuke. But, most importantly, I’ll leave behind Kanao and my baby. My baby will only be six years old when I die. I’m going to love him unconditionally, but that won’t erase the pain he’ll feel when I’m gone. And, Kanao will be devastated. I know Kanao has never accepted my curse, no matter how many times she’s told me she does. Does she understand what she got into? I suppose if she wasn’t serious, then she wouldn’t have married me. But, sometimes I don’t know. I’m starting to fear getting older, for both their sakes. I just want to see my baby grow up, and I know I won’t. I can’t begin to describe how that feels.”

I was crying pretty heartily now. As much as I was overjoyed about Kanao’s pregnancy and my impending fatherhood, a small portion of that happiness was somewhat an act. I hadn’t thought about my curse for a while, because there hadn’t been time to think about anything other than Kanao. Still, on my birthday, the truth struck a little harder. Six years was still a long time, but that didn’t change anything. Talking about it with Kanao was nearly impossible, if downright inappropriate, at the moment. Nezuko still hit me or changed the subject when I brought it up. I wanted to say more to my family. Specifically, I had several questions to ask my own father. The words wouldn’t come out, though. I was always praying to him, and I’d been praying even more since Kanao told me she was pregnant. If I only had six years with my child, then I had to be the best father I could be. I had to leave him with the memory of a father who loved him. And, I did already love him. But, how did I make myself a lasting memory? Only my own father would’ve known. I had five more months for the questions to come out of my mouth.

I took a deep breath, went back inside, and found Kanao to be asleep already, just like I figured. I did have a good birthday, overall. But, now, birthdays were bittersweet. As I listened to Kanao breathe, I realized it was irregular. She randomly took deep inhales or staggered exhales, and it was loud. Zenitsu had been right. Still, his comment that it was “annoying” didn’t sit well with me. A pregnant woman couldn’t help the quirks she developed. If I only had six years left, then it was a waste of precious time to be fighting with Zenitsu. I was going to give him a piece of my mind, I just had to think about when.

It wasn’t just my imagination, though. For the next few weeks, Zenitsu continued to drop small, pointed comments.

“Have you picked out a name?” he randomly asked me one night.

We were still keeping it a secret that we had, so I gave him a half true answer.

“We’ve discussed it. We thought about using a variation of my name if it’s a boy, because my name is a variation of my father’s. We haven’t talked about girls’ names at all yet.”

“If it was a girl, would you alter Kanao’s name?”

“Maybe. Her name is a variation of her sister Kanae’s name, too.”

“Yep, I got it,” Zenitsu said quickly.

I felt a vein pulse in my forehead.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, I gotta take a crap,” he said.

He hurried off to the bathroom, and my temperature shot up. Why was he taking things so personally? What I was going through had nothing to do with him. I needed his support, just like I did from everyone in the house. I couldn’t take it anymore. He closed the bathroom door, and I thought about shouting at him. But, I had to get ready for work, so I stuffed it away.

Unfortunately, he didn’t come out by the time I had to leave. If there was any positive to the situation, it was that I hadn’t heard anything about another shift in his relationship with my sister. If anything, Nezuko seemed just fine. She and Zenitsu were still going on dates regularly. If there had been another problem, Nezuko would’ve told Kanao, and Kanao hadn’t mentioned anything to me. Zenitsu wasn’t making any sense to me anymore. I sighed as I trudged down the mountain to the village. I could deal with him being angry at me, for whatever it was, but now he was involving my pregnant wife. That really bothered me.

At the beginning of August, Kanao was officially at twenty weeks, or five months. It was getting harder and harder for her to walk, stand, sit, or just move at all. Aoi had told her that she wouldn’t be able to take baths alone in her last trimester. She still had a month left to go in the second, and we were already at that point. Kanao was petite and slender, with a very small waist, so the extra weight from the baby affected her greatly. Still, she bore it proudly with a smile, and made jokes whenever she wobbled. It worried me a great deal, though. I was too afraid to leave her side for a second.

One Sunday morning, I got a letter. It wasn’t from my crow, but from the regular courier system. It was from Mr. Yamashita.

Dear Tanjiro,

Hope you’re having a great summer, even though we are close to the end! I’m writing to let you know that my baby was born on August second! It’s a girl, just like we wanted, and we’ve named her Kagura. Mitsuri and I are overjoyed! Takeshi and Ryuji wanted another brother, but soon they’ll realize just how wonderful it is to have a sister. I know your wife must be getting pretty close by now, so I just wanted to remind you that you always have my regards. Because I won’t get to see you in person for a while, let me take this moment now to welcome you and your wife to parenthood! You can always send me a letter, but if you’re too busy being a new dad, no offense taken. See you soon!

Ken

“I had no idea you and Mr. Yamashita became so close,” Kanao said when I showed her the letter.

“Neither did I,” I chuckled. “But, I don’t mind. He’s a great guy.”

“He even signed it with only his given name,” Kanao continued. “And, look, his daughter is named Kagura. That’s kind of like your Hinokami Kagura.”

I smiled. I thought of how my father used to dance the Hinokami Kagura every winter. I also thought of the first sun-breather, the swordsman who taught it to my ancestors. I was the last one to perform the dance, but I would make sure it was never forgotten. Without sun-breathing and the Hinokami Kagura, I never would have been able to win the final battle. Kagura, “dance,” was a beautiful name for a baby girl. Maybe Kanao and I should’ve thought of it first, but, at this point, we were never going to talk about girls’ names.

“I’m glad it was a girl,” I said. “By the time I see him again, we’ll have lots to talk about, won’t we?”

“Yes!” Kanao grinned. “Maybe one day, our children can play together.”

“Heh, heh,” I laughed nervously. “How about we don’t think that far ahead yet?”

Kanao laughed back. “Okay!”

That night at dinner, things seemed to be going well. We were talking and joking just like usual. Inosuke and Aoi were being very affectionate, and she ruffled his hair. Inosuke beamed at her with a mouth full of food.

“I could’ve sworn I made a lot more stew than this,” Nezuko said. “Was this really all there was?”

“Oh,” Kanao piped up next to me. “I’m sorry.”

We all looked over at her. She had a brand new mountain of stew on her plate. I raised an eyebrow. How fast had she eaten her first serving?

“Um, you should probably slow down,” I said with a nervous smile.

“The sauce,” she said, blushing. “The sauce makes it so delicious…”

Nezuko laughed. “It’s all right, Kanao. We all understand! I’m glad you like it. I kind of made up the sauce recipe myself.”

“Hey, Kanao,” Inosuke piped up.

“Yes?” she replied.

“How much longer until your watermelon is done growing? When does it actually hatch into a baby?”

If a pin had fallen from the ceiling onto the table, its sound would’ve made an explosion. Zenitsu stared at Inosuke with horror. Aoi slowly brought her hand to her mouth. Nezuko blinked incredulously a few times. My face plopped straight into my palm. Kanao paused from shoveling food into her mouth.

“What?” Inosuke asked after a while.

“Um, dear,” Aoi began. “I should probably tell you…”

“NO!” Zenitsu erupted, jumping to his feet. “YOU’RE NOT GONNA TELL HIM, I’M GONNA TELL HIM!”

“Huh?!?!” Aoi protested. “But, I’m a doctor! And, his girlfriend!”

“I DON’T CARE!” Zenitsu stormed on. “I’VE BEEN WANTING TO KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO THIS GUY FOR A LONG TIME! HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE SO DAMN SHELTERED?!?! FIRST YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT A CONCUSSION IS, THEN YOU ASK ME IF A CLOUD CAN BE PREGNANT, AND NOW YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU DON’T KNOW HOW YOU GET PREGNANT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?! I SWEAR, I’M GONNA KICK YOUR WILD BOAR ASS, INOSUKE!”

“Zenitsu!” Nezuko scolded him. “That’s really mean! And, watch your language!”

“You wanna take this outside?” Inosuke growled, on his feet, too. “Cuz, I’d love to give you a concussion right now, now that I know what that means!”

“Okay, both of you, enough!” I exclaimed angrily. “This is really inappropriate for the dinner table!”

“OH, WELL, WE WOULDN’T EVEN BE ON THIS SUBJECT RIGHT NOW IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU, YOU KNOW!!!!” Zenitsu turned on me now, completely red in the face with fury. “YOU’RE GONNA COME OUTSIDE AND EXPLAIN IT TO INOSUKE, TOO, MR. PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!!!”

“No, I am not!” I snapped. “And, don’t call me that!”

Before I knew what happened, Zenitsu grabbed my shirt collar in one hand and Inosuke’s wrist in the other. Then, he dragged us away from the table with strength I didn’t even know he had. Right before he shoved me out the door, I caught a glimpse of the women just sitting at the table, staring at us wide-eyed. Kanao looked embarrassed. Now, I was seething with rage. I felt like giving Zenitsu a concussion, too.

Outside, Zenitsu explained the gist of it to Inosuke. Then, Inosuke asked for more detail.

“ASK TANJIRO!!!” Zenitsu huffed angrily.

I hated every second of it, but I tried my best to answer each of Inosuke’s questions in a way he would understand. If I explained it efficiently, then this whole episode would end. It took a few tries, but Inosuke finally seemed to reach some level of understanding.

“And, if you’re still not clear on something, ask Aoi. She’s a doctor,” I concluded.

I felt humiliated and emotionally drained. My cheeks were on fire.

“Okay,” was all that Inosuke said.

I could tell there were still a few things lost on him, but he went back inside. The door shut behind him. There was a heavy pause. I let my blood boil, then I turned and slapped Zenitsu across the face.

“HEY! WHAT GIVES?” he spat.

“Do you have any idea how much you embarrassed Kanao back there?” I yelled. “If you have a problem with me, yell at me when I’m not in front of her!”

“Oh, well, do you have any idea how cold and distant you’ve been acting since this whole thing started?” Zenitsu shot back. “It’s like you’re a bigger man than the rest of us now!”

“Well, if I seemed like I was being cold, I didn’t intend to,” I seethed. “But… I do have to be a bigger man now! My entire life is going to change in just four months. It’s going to change drastically! I have to be ready for it, so it’s going to take up most of my time! But, that doesn’t mean I’m trying to be better than you!”

“Well, fine, I’ll admit that I’m jealous,” he snorted. “Because, you’ve always got a handle on everything!”

“No, I do not!!!” I shot back. “I’m barely hanging on right now!”

“Yeah, well, if you’re really that desperate, why don’t you ask for help, hm? You always do everything yourself these days, and it makes me feel like you don’t care about anyone else!”

“Is that what this is about?!?!” I asked incredulously. “You’re really immature sometimes. Sometimes, you’re just a downright brat!”

“Fine! But, you know, you can make time for me and Inosuke, too! Even Nezuko told me she misses you! She actually said that once, ‘I miss my brother.’ We always used to be together and now all you worry about is your future!”

“Zenitsu, I’m going to be a father. I have no choice but to think about the future. And, I would really appreciate if you left Kanao out of this. She is pregnant. There’s so much she needs me for right now, but that doesn’t make her competition. You want to marry Nezuko, don’t you? This is something you have to be prepared for. And, you’re not getting my blessing to marry my sister if you keep acting like this.”

He glared at me angrily, but that did make him stop yelling at me. I took that cue to go inside. Aoi, Nezuko, and Kanao were gone from the table, and everything had been cleaned up. I figured Kanao would be back in our room, and I was right. She was sitting on the bed nibbling on a matcha mochi. She didn’t look that upset.

“I am so sorry Zenitsu embarrassed you like that,” I told her.

“It’s okay,” she said, but I smelled a lie. “I have more mochi, do you want some?”

“No, I bought those for you.”

She plopped backwards. She was having trouble sitting now. It was obvious that the baby was bigger than average. Her stomach was getting bigger and rounder by the day. It actually did look a lot like a watermelon. She looked funny lying on her back like that, but she kept eating. I cracked a smile.

“I’ll help you get undressed,” I offered. “You can go to bed if you’re tired.”

“Actually, I’m wide awake!” Kanao replied cheerfully, taking another big bite of mochi. “But, yes, my night kimono will be much more comfortable.”

I helped her change, and then she took my shirt off. I removed her hairpin for her and let her beautiful hair fall. We both laid down in the bed, just holding hands and staring at the ceiling in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, though. Kanao munched her mochi noisily. I was still furious at Zenitsu. I was cooling down now, but I couldn’t shake off the episode.

Kanao took the last bite of her mochi, then pushed the bag away. She took a couple deep breaths in, then she looked at me.

“Want to feel the baby kicking?”

I instantly sat up. I broke into a huge smile.

“…Really?”

“Uh-huh,” Kanao replied, and she moved my hand to her stomach. “He kicks around here the most. Just wait.”

We waited. I held my breath in anticipation. After thirty infinite seconds, I felt something. I gasped, then I felt it again. I was in awe. It was my baby’s foot, and I could actually feel it from inside Kanao. I instantly teared up.

“Oh, Tanjiro,” Kanao said with a smile. “There’s no need to cry.”

“I… I just can’t believe it,” I said, trying not to break into a full sob. “That’s really him!”

“Yep, that’s him.”

“I can only imagine what it feels like for you.”

Kanao laughed. “I can feel him move all day long.”

“That’s beautiful.”

“Yes, but it can also get tiring.”

“I know Aoi said he’s big.”

“And, we’ve still got four more months to go.”

We became quiet again. I kept moving my hand around, waiting for more kicks. Kanao just smiled. I felt a few more, and my smile got wider and the tears came harder every time.

“I’m just so amazed,” I said when I finally stopped crying. “He’s alive and he’s growing. And, we made him, together.”

“And, Aoi says he’s very healthy,” Kanao added.

“He certainly kicks like he’s very healthy.”

“Oh, yes, he does.”

There was another pause. I couldn’t feel anything else. Maybe he had gone to sleep. I was getting tired, too.

“What if we’re wrong, though?” I asked after a while.

“About what?”

“What if it’s not a boy?”

“It’s a boy,” Kanao said confidently. “And, he’s going to look just like you.”

“You don’t think he’ll have anything from you at all?”

“We’ll see, but he better have your gorgeous hair.”

We both laughed, then I leaned down to her level and kissed her. My hand still lay on her stomach, and she was holding it again. Four months was both far away and close all at the same time. I knew that my quarrel with Zenitsu wasn’t over yet, but at the moment, I had forgotten all about him. I laid down on my back again and closed my eyes, at peace. I had interacted with my child for the first time that night. Everything was becoming more and more real. I was ready to be a father. Of course, I was scared, too. I was scared out of my mind sometimes. But, mostly, I couldn’t wait.

Chapter Text

Love Will Always Come Around

Following that night, Zenitsu disappeared. He didn’t come home for three nights. Nezuko was distraught. On the third night, she begged me to tell the authorities. As furious as I was at him, I was worried about him, too. The only problem was that we still didn’t have a telephone. I was going to have to actually go to the police station in the village personally. During my lunch break at work that day, I took my chance.

“Good afternoon,” I said to the officer at the front. “I need to report a missing person.”

“Okay,” replied the office. “Name? Gender? Age? Description?”

“His name is Zenitsu Agatsuma, and he’s twenty years old. He’s about my height and he has blonde hair.”

“Do you have a picture?”

I fished out the photograph from my pocket. Unfortunately, the only photograph I had of Zenitsu was from when he was sixteen and wearing his Demon Slayer Corps uniform. The coat he wore now was black, versus the yellow coat he used to have. It had the same pattern, though. And, of course, his blonde hair was a dead giveaway.

“Ah, yes,” the officer said. “He came by a while ago looking for an office space to rent. He said he was a writer and needed to hole up somewhere private for a while.”

“And… then what?” I asked.

“I told him that I couldn’t help with that, but I did direct him to the council building for more information.”

There was no way Zenitsu had actually gone to the council building, however, because he wanted nothing to do with me. But, at least I knew his intentions. I walked the street both ways up and down, looking for “For Rent” signs and possible places Zenitsu could be hiding. People kept calling out to me. At first, I only waved back, but then I decided this was a good time to use my popularity to my advantage. I went up to everyone and showed them Zenitsu’s picture. Most people recognized him, as he was a village local by now. However, not everyone knew what my relation to him was.

“He’s my friend,” I explained simply. “And, he’s my sister Nezuko’s boyfriend. Maybe you’ve seen the two of them together?”

“Oh, yes, they go to the gardens a lot,” one person finally told me.

It wasn’t much of a lead, and it wasn’t a place that had rooms for rent, but I checked there first. The gardens were completely empty. I found out from someone else that Zenitsu often went to Mrs. Soma for snacks with Nezuko. Mrs. Soma perked up when she saw me.

“Oh, dear,” she chuckled. “You’re out of mochi again?”

“Actually, Mrs. Soma, I’m not here for Kanao today.”

Mrs. Soma hadn’t seen Zenitsu at all, but she did know of one room that was available for rent above Mr. Inamoto, the jeweler. I tried there next. Mr. Inamoto was really happy when he saw me, too.

“Hey, Tanjiro. I hear your wife is pregnant! But, then… why are you here?”

“Did anyone rent out the room above you?” I asked him.

I hated being blunt, because it felt impolite. However, I didn’t have time to waste.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Mr. Inamoto replied.

“What did he look like?” I asked, my hopes soaring.

“It wasn’t a man, it was a woman,” he went on. “She was middle-aged and she had short, bobbed hair, kind of like they do in America. She was Japanese, though. Is this council business? Do you need me to give you her name?”

“No,” I sighed. “But, thank you.”

When Mr. Inamoto mentioned it was a woman, I remembered back to our mission to the Entertainment District, which involved Zenitsu, Inosuke, and I dressing up as girls to go under cover. However, based on Mr. Inamoto’s description of the woman, there was no way Zenitsu could have pulled off a disguise like that. I had to clock back in to the council soon. And, I hadn’t even eaten any lunch. I guessed I was going to have to starve until dinner.

In the end, I was unable to find Zenitsu. I was filled with dread as I walked back home. My stomach was growling loudly. I was so distracted by it, I could barely feel my legs moving. It was Monday, so it was Nezuko’s turn. However, there was no way Nezuko was cooking tonight. Normally, if one person was unable to cook on their assigned day, it fell to the next person in line. But, after Nezuko was Kanao, and she was having trouble standing for long periods of time now. Knowing Kanao, she’d try to do it anyway, and that worried me even more. If Kanao didn’t do it, it would fall to me next, and I wasn’t in any shape to do it, either. I was dizzy from hunger. I prayed I wouldn’t faint right on the mountain.

When I reached the house, I smelled food cooking. I cautiously poked my head in, and was shocked to find Inosuke making stir fry. I was almost too afraid to ask.

“Um, Inosuke,” I said slowly. “What’s going on?”

“Aoi said Zenitsu running away was irresponsible, so I’m showing her I’m a responsible man by cooking!” Inosuke declared, and raised the spatula triumphantly.

“That’s… great, but where’s everyone else?”

“They’re in Nezuko and Aoi’s room. Kanao’s in there, too, I think.”

I was desperate to know what was going on, but I had to shove a leftover dumpling in my mouth before I could do anything. Then, I tiptoed to Nezuko and Aoi’s room. Before I even got anywhere near the door, I heard Nezuko sobbing hysterically. My blood turned cold and I froze momentarily. I took a deep breath, then tapped on the door very gently. It opened just two inches. I saw Aoi’s eyes through the crack.

“It’s Tanjiro,” she said, and opened it all the way.

I walked in and was heartbroken by what I saw. Nezuko, my little sister, was pale and her eyes were bright red from crying. She was clutching her pillow, lying in her bed like a rag doll carelessly thrown on it. Aoi knelt to the left of her. She was clearly trying her best to comfort her, but she also looked exhausted and at her wits’ end. Meanwhile, Kanao, who should’ve been in our room lying down, was sitting to Nezuko’s right in an awkward position with her legs splayed out to the side to compromise for her stomach. She looked exhausted and lost, and she could not have been comfortable like that. Aoi looked at me again.

“Tell me you found something,” she begged me.

“He’s been downtown recently,” I answered. “But, I couldn’t find him.”

“He didn’t take anything with him!” Nezuko wailed. “He left behind all his other clothes, his writing, and his bed!”

If Zenitsu didn’t take his writing, then had what he told the officer at the station just been a cover? What was he really up to?

“Why would he do this?” bawled Nezuko. “If he left all of his stuff, that means he has to come back, right?”

“Nezuko, he’s mad at me,” I said firmly. “This has nothing to do with you. I don’t know why he’s acting like a brat like this, but trust me, it’s not about you.”

“B-brother,” Nezuko hiccuped. “It is about me! If Zenitsu leaves, then our family will fall apart! You need to go out again! Please!”

I took a deep breath. “Okay. First of all, Kanao, you shouldn’t even be in here right now. You should be in our room, resting. Seeing you sit like that is making me nervous. Second, Aoi, I appreciate your help, but I will take it from here. I’ll talk to my sister alone.”

Aoi nodded and then stood up and left. I had to help Kanao to her feet. She looked very worried. Inside, I was panicking just like the rest of them. I kissed Kanao lightly on the cheek, and she followed Aoi out of the room. Once we were alone, I laid down on the bed with Nezuko. She immediately clasped my shirt and cried into it.

“Nezuko,” I said softly. “When Zenitsu and I were fighting outside, he accused me of not spending time with anyone but Kanao. He claimed that even you were frustrated by it, and you had told him, ‘I miss my brother.’ Is that true?”

“Huh?!?!” Nezuko gasped. “I was referring to Takeo! We were on a date and something, I don’t remember what, reminded me of him. I said it to myself and under my breath, but Zenitsu heard it, of course. I don’t talk to him much about our siblings who died, so he must’ve assumed I was talking about you!”

“I know this might be uncomfortable to talk about,” I pressed on. “But, has he done anything lately that was… concerning?”

“No! Well, yes, our relationship did suffer when he was jealous of you, but he later told me that he was just having a lot of frustration with bad memories over his book and he took it out on you more than he should have. He was jealous of you, but once he realized it was more about his book and less about you, things got better again! He and I were happy! Our relationship was healthy again! And, then you did start hanging out with him and Inosuke more. I have absolutely no idea what this is about! Your wife is pregnant, and nobody else here has a problem with all the attention you give her. You have to! I don’t know why he doesn’t get that, but I also wonder if that’s even what he’s angry about!”

“He is still jealous. He accused me of ‘trying to be the bigger man,’” I continued. “Has he said anything about that to you?”

“No, and why would he accuse you of that? You’ve always been noble, since before the Demon Slayer Corps! I don’t get why he would confuse the two, after everything we’ve been through. And, you’re not trying to be the ‘bigger man.’ The rest of us don’t think way that at all. You’re about to have a baby! I don’t know what Zenitsu sees, but me, Aoi, and Inosuke just see you as a hard-working guy who’s good to his wife and excited to be a dad. Once upon a time, he saw you as a cherished friend and ally. You saved his life several times, and he saved yours just as many. I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but please, brother, you have to get him back!”

“I will try my hardest, Nezuko.”

“I love him so much, brother… I can’t even stand it!” Nezuko sobbed. “But, I don’t know what to do if he’s not going to grow up!”

“Okay,” I said softly, caressing her cheek. “I can’t go out and look for him again tonight. I don’t think I can go out tomorrow because I have to work. But, I promise we will keep looking. However, when I find him, I’m going to head butt him. Hard.”

“Okay, just… don’t do it on his head,” Nezuko whimpered. “You could actually kill him like that, brother.”

“All right.”

Part of me did not want to leave Nezuko alone, but I had other obligations. I waited with her until her crying subsided into sniffling. Back in our room, Kanao had her hair down and was attempting to change into her night kimono by herself.

“Let me help you with that,” I said. “Also, dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”

“I already ate dinner,” she said.

“You sure you won’t be hungry again?”

“What did Inosuke make?”

“Stir fry.”

“With pork?”

“I assume so.”

“Okay, I’ll have some stir fry.”

I was too tired and angry to think that was cute. I helped her out of her clothes and into her night kimono. We had just bought the new “maternity” night kimono a month ago, and it was already getting too small on her. I figured it would only last three more weeks. Maybe we didn’t have to, though. Maybe she could alter it so it was bigger. On any other night, I would’ve held her, kissed her, and listened for more kicks, but not tonight. She understood why.

It was the quietest dinner we’d ever had. Nezuko had stopped crying, but she had lost her appetite. She picked at her stir fry, eating only the pork and not the rice. Aoi wasn’t that hungry either. Inosuke and Kanao ended up eating the majority of it. I only ate half of my bowl. It was getting pretty windy outside. A storm would inevitably blow through in the middle of the night. Suddenly, the wind blew the front door wide open, and all of us jumped and turned to look. But, it wasn’t the wind. Zenitsu stood in the doorway. His hair was disheveled, his shirt was dirty, and it was obvious that wherever he had been for three days didn’t have a bath. We all stared at him wide-eyed with mouths agape.

“Everyone, I…” he began.

“ZENITSU AGATSUMA, YOU COMPLETE IDIOT!” Nezuko shrieked.

Next thing we knew, she hurled her chopsticks at him. He stood there, confused, with an eyebrow raised. His expression turned to terror when Nezuko leapt out of her seat and held her bowl over her head, poised to throw that, too. Aoi immediately rushed to restrain her. Nezuko put down the bowl, but then launched into a tearful barrage that was too squeaky and high-pitched to understand. She said something about Zenitsu being an irresponsible moron, how dare he worry her to death like that, and that she wasn’t going to speak to him for three days because that’s how long he had been away. At the end, she stormed back to her room and slammed the door. I hadn’t seen her that furious in a long time. After the slam of the door stopped ringing in our ears, there was heavy silence. The rest of us slowly turned towards Zenitsu, who didn’t seem that perturbed by the episode.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I deserved that.”

“Do you want some stir fry?” Inosuke asked innocently.

“Yes, but first I need to take a bath. Is that all right with you guys?”

“Yeah, no one’s using it at the moment,” I said, still incredulous.

“I’ll be quick,” Zenitsu said and walked off to the bathroom.

The four of us sat in silence, except for the sound of Kanao munching away. We looked around at each other.

“Um, I guess I’ll sleep on the couch tonight,” Aoi said. “I don’t want to bother Nezuko.”

“You can come sleep with me!” Inosuke offered.

Aoi got a very visible shiver up her spine.

“I’ve told you, dear, only married people can do that…”

“It might be all right if you slept in separate beds,” Kanao offered. “I was saving the quilt I turned into a bed for the baby, but you can borrow it now.”

“Wait, that’s what you were going to use it for?” I asked in disbelief. “But, you made that quilt such a long time ago.”

“I always knew I was going to carry your child, Tanjiro,” Kanao said with a smile.

“Um, I don’t want to mess up a quilt that important to you…” Aoi mused.

Her face was bright red and getting redder by the minute.

“No, really, I don’t mind if it’s just for one night,” Kanao insisted.

“Okay,” Aoi mumbled. “As it turns out, I have a night kimono that’s almost dry, so this works out fine. I’ll do it, but I’ll get dressed in the bathroom. After Zenitsu.”

After dinner, Kanao took the bed out of the storage closet. I noticed that the final square had finally been filled in. She had embroidered it with a sun, a flower, and a bud. I realized what it meant. The sun was me, the flower was her, and the bud was our baby. I knew that each one of the quilt’s squares represented a chapter in the story of our journey as demon slayers, and now I knew that the beginning of our family was the end of that journey. I felt choked up, but I didn’t cry. I’d cry about it later. The mood was too heavy at the moment.

Aoi was still embarrassed about sleeping in Inosuke’s room. They had been together for a long time now, but Aoi was strict about morals. She trudged to his bedroom door with the quilt in her arms, looking down and still red in the face. Inosuke was standing in the doorway. When she approached, he hugged her lovingly. That seemed to calm her down, but she still didn’t talk to him as she went inside. Meanwhile, Zenitsu was taking a lot longer in the bathroom than he said he would. He did look like an absolute wreck when he came back. I simply sighed and went into my own room, snuggling up to my wife. We had temporarily switched sides of the bed, with me on the left and her on the right, so she was closer to the door if she needed to get up in the middle of the night. I slung my good arm over her belly, and she was holding my hand. The baby wasn’t kicking tonight. Kanao had told me he had a regular sleep schedule. He already had personality. It astonished me to no end.

“Tanjiro, I can feel your muscles,” Kanao whispered. “You’re tense.”

“I’m pretty disturbed by what just happened,” I replied. “I’m also worried about Nezuko. I’ve never seen her that angry, or heard her yell like that before. The way she was crying earlier broke my heart.”

“I know,” said Kanao. “Mine too. Whatever happens now is between them. When Zenitsu is ready to talk, he will.”

“I hope you’re right,” I mumbled.

I knew that Nezuko wanted to keep Zenitsu. He was the love of her life. Still, I worried about them. It wasn’t like me to think pessimistically, but this was serious. This was gravely serious.

The next two weeks, Zenitsu still kept to himself. Nezuko did, too. Everyone was getting worried about them, but life had to go on. Kanao was at twenty-three weeks, nearly six months. She laid down in our bed, and I sat by her as Aoi gave her monthly checkup. She moved her stethoscope over Kanao’s stomach and listened very carefully, and checked all of Kanao’s vital signs. She looked up and smiled at us.

“You have a very healthy baby, Kanao,” she said. “It’s still pretty big, though, and you’re getting heavy. Maybe you should lay off the mochi.”

“Noooooo,” Kanao whined jokingly.

Meanwhile, I silently cheered inside my head.

“If you’re craving the matcha, just have matcha tea,” Aoi suggested.

“All right,” Kanao sighed. “I’m just happy that he’s healthy.”

Aoi raised an eyebrow. “Are you really that positive it’s a boy?”

“Yep,” I answered with a big smile. “Nothing can convince her otherwise now. And, I’m pretty convinced, too.”

“Heh,” Aoi chuckled. “If you insist.”

After the checkup was over, I went down to the council building. I was really anxious about not being in the house. Inosuke was still home splitting wood and burning charcoal, and I told him to keep an eye on Nezuko and Zenitsu. I wondered if he was really being that vigilant, though. I was worried about leaving them alone in the house together. Aoi had lied and said that Nezuko had chronic headaches and was unable to to go to work. She was locked in her room, but I was worried about what she was doing in there. At least, I couldn’t hear her crying anymore. None of that made a difference, however. I was distracted the entire time I was at work. Mr. Takeda noticed.

“Are you all right, Kamado?” he asked me. “You look concerned. Everything okay with your wife?”

“Kanao is great,” I answered. “The baby is growing and healthy, and she’s in great spirits. My sister isn’t feeling well, though.”

“That’s too bad,” Mr. Takeda said. “While we’re on the subject, the other councilmen and I are still discussing the amount of leave you asked for. You know we can’t pay you during that time, right? And, we’ll need you back eventually.”

“Yes, I know…” I answered. “But, I’m worried about not being there for Kanao. She’s approaching her last trimester. I’m just getting apprehensive.”

“We all perfectly understand that, but there’s one thing,” Mr. Takeda said slowly. “We all think you’re an exceptionally hard worker. You’ve done an incredible amount for the village, so we’re fine cutting you a break for family reasons. But, Mr. Suzuki came back from the doctor the other day, and well, his prognosis doesn’t look good.”

I was shocked. “What do you mean?”

“He’s very sick,” Mr. Takeda explained. “It’s not life-threatening, but he’s decided to step down from his role for a while. He’s taking a semi-break, and Mr. Uotani has agreed to pick up the slack for him until he gets better. However, that means the rest of us are going to have to compensate for it as well, and we probably won’t be able to give you the entire leave time that you asked for. We’re still talking about it. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you anything else.”

My heart sank a little, but I knew he was right. Still, it seemed like everything was falling apart. When I got home, I was surprised not to find anyone in the kitchen or living room. I called out for everyone, but no one answered. Then, I heard hushed voices by the back door. I followed them, and saw Kanao, Inosuke, and Aoi huddled together on either side of the open door. I didn’t know what they were doing, but it didn’t look good. I realized that Kanao was peering around the corner on her tip toes, and instantly panicked. I was certain she was going to lose her balance, and I rushed to her.

“Kanao, you shouldn’t be standing,” I said, putting my arm around her. “Remember what Aoi said? You’re too heavy.”

“I’m just fine,” she said with a smile, her arms folded on top of her stomach. “Look.”

I looked out the front door and craned my neck along with everyone. Zenitsu and Nezuko were standing together a ways from us, their hands entwined. They were completely unaware that we were watching them. I thought Nezuko was still furious. I was shocked to see them together, let alone like this.

“My dear Nezuko,” Zenitsu started, choking up. “I know I’ve been selfish lately, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to turn you away.”

“It’s all right, sweetie,” Nezuko replied and worked up a smile. “You just have to tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think,” continued Zenitsu. “The problem was all me. It was not easy to admit to myself that I was in the wrong, but then I thought about Gramps, my old trainer. I went to where I buried his remains. I buried him in the forest, in a spot only I would remember, and I meditated there for three days. He would’ve whacked me over the head if he saw the way I was acting. That was not who I wanted to be. I hope you can forgive me, because, even though I can be an idiot at times, I love you so much, Nezuko.”

“Of course, I forgive you, sweetie!” Nezuko exclaimed. “I was very angry with you for disappearing like that, but I’m not going to run from you just because you get jealous or act out of impulse. I used to be a demon, and you still loved me. You didn’t see anything wrong in me or hold anything against me when everyone else saw me as the enemy. That’s what made me fall in love with you. I just need you to be serious about the big things in life.”

“Yes, and I think I understand now,” Zenitsu said. “I want to make a future where the two of us are together not because we think we have to be, but because we want to be. I want you in my life, Nezuko. Do you want me in yours?”

“Of course, I do, Zenitsu!”

“All right, then…”

Suddenly, Zenitsu was down on one knee. Nezuko’s eyes lit up and her jaw dropped. My jaw dropped, too. Aoi said, “Oh, my,” and Kanao let out a gasp. Inosuke said nothing, but he was watching intently. Zenitsu had the ring box in his hands now, and he opened it up. He was dead serious, and the look on my sister’s face was pure joy.

“Nezuko Kamado, I promise that from now on, I’m going to put my old ways behind me. I’m ready to be dedicated,” Zenitsu said, crying now. “You are the love of my life, and the best thing in it. Will you marry me? For real, this time.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Nezuko sobbed. “Yes, I will marry you!”

Zenitsu swooped up Nezuko in his arms and lifted her high in the air, then they kissed. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I didn’t smell any jealousy or anger, only true happiness and love. Zenitsu was like a completely different person. But, I knew that if he was determined about something, there was no stopping him.

“Ohhhhh,” said Inosuke. “That’s what you do.”

“Huh?!?!” Aoi sputtered, pink on her cheeks. “Don’t get any ideas yet!”

“I’ve known all of you were there the whole time!” Zenitsu called out to us, still holding Nezuko to his chest. “You’re supposed to be quiet when you spy on people!”

“We’re sorry about that!” said Kanao. “It was kind of an accident.”

“Oh, well, whatever,” Zenitsu grumbled. “We spied on Inosuke and Aoi a ton when they first started dating, remember?”

“WHAT?!?!” Aoi shouted. “I swear to the gods, you guys!”

Nezuko bounded over to Kanao and held out her newly jeweled hand.

“Look, Kanao! We can compare them now!”

Nezuko’s ring was a lot nicer than Kanao’s. The band was clearly a more precious metal, and the gem was bigger. I didn’t recognize the kind of gem it was, but it was a green-blue color. Zenitsu must have been saving for it for a long time.

“It’s beautiful,” Kanao said. “I’m so happy for you, Nezuko.”

“I am, too,” I finally interjected. “My little sister… we’re both so grown up now.”

I hugged Nezuko tightly. I could feel tears coming on myself.

“Yes, brother,” Nezuko sniffled happily. “And, pretty soon, I’ll be an auntie, too!”

“Yes, you will be,” I said, and then turned back to my wife. “Please, Kanao, go sit down. You’re making me nervous.”

“Oh, okay,” Kanao sighed with a laugh.

I watched her waddle out of earshot, then turned to Nezuko and Zenitsu.

“I am happy for you two. But, Zenitsu, if you ever pull something like that again…”

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Zenitsu said. “I know I’ve been a massive jerk to you. Let’s talk about it some other time, okay? Oh, and we’re going to be brothers-in-law, too!”

I felt my brain turning into goo. It was an overload of information. But, I just laughed.

“Yeah, we will be.”

Later, I found out that Zenitsu had actually been downtown looking for office space well before the whole incident happened. However, he still intended on finding it. I asked him if that was anything personal, too.

“Well, I’ve wanted a writing office for a year now,” he replied. “I was looking for it now more than ever, but it wasn’t a diss towards anyone in the house.”

“You still didn’t ask for my blessing to marry Nezuko,” I said, but I cracked a smile.

“…Do I have it?”

“Yes, you do. And, I’ll be the one whacking you over the head if you’re not good to her.”

“Understandable!” Zenitsu laughed and gave me the thumbs up.

I could tell he was still a little unnerved, though. I still hadn’t fully forgiven him. I knew I would in time, but I was going to be angry for a while. At least, Nezuko was smiling again. They were cuddling all through dinner. Inosuke started cuddling Aoi in response, and she didn’t protest it. Kanao leaned her head on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around her belly. They were all going to be okay, but I wasn’t.

Every day, I grew even more nervous about Kanao giving birth. I had asked Aoi a bunch of questions that I wouldn’t have asked in front of her. I still couldn’t find the right words when I prayed to my father at night. Time was running out. I only had three months to figure out how to be a father. Zenitsu’s drama being over lifted some of the weight off my shoulders, but I was still anxious. But, at least for tonight, I could see there was finally some love in the house, between all of us.

Chapter Text

A Sudden Burst

Month six passed, then month seven. In November, I hit eight months. I looked in the bathroom mirror as I brushed my hair. I was huge! I was wearing a white kimono, and I looked like a whale! I chuckled to myself. I pulled my hair to the side and tucked it in my butterfly hairpin. I looked up and realized it came out messy. Well, that was due to the fact that I could hardly lift my arms anymore! I had to bow my head in order to reach. I kept giggling, and then sneezed. Right after I sneezed, I winced. The baby bounced whenever I sneezed, sometimes right onto my spleen. When I winced, I dropped the brush. It fell to the ground with a thud. There was immediately a knock on the bathroom door.

“Kanao, that’s it!” Tanjiro called out. “I’m coming in to help you.”

“I’m just doing my hair,” I replied.

“I’m coming,” Tanjiro insisted, and opened the door. “You’re going to sit on the toilet and I’ll brush your hair for you.”

“But, if I sit down, I won’t be able to stand up again.”

“And, if you stand up for too long, you’ll fall down.”

He had been getting overprotective lately. It was true that I couldn’t do many things on my own anymore, but I certainly could do my hair. I slowly lowered myself onto the toilet, and Tanjiro started brushing my hair.

“I already brushed it, I just need to put it up,” I told him.

“How do you want it?” Tanjiro asked.

“Like always,” I answered.

I knew he wasn’t going to be able to do it with one hand. I was goading him a little. I was doing it playfully, but he had taken to thinking I was helpless. However, he put my hairpin lightly between his teeth, gathered my hair and pulled it tight with one hand, then inserted it with his mouth. I stared at him incredulously. It was like he was proving a point about how adept he was. Maybe he didn’t think I was helpless, but certain things he did suggested it whether he intended to or not.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I answered.

He held out his hand to me. “Time to stand up.”

I took his hand and balanced myself on the sink with the other. I had a hunch about where this change in him was coming from. About a month before, he and I had been sitting in the front doorway, watching Zenitsu and Nezuko practice waltzing. They were doing it for their wedding, which they hadn’t even started planning yet. It was cute, and they wanted us to watch them for feedback. Then, the baby kicked me hard in the ribs. I screamed, fell backwards, and slid straight off the front doorstep onto my bottom. It took me several minutes to get my bearings, and several more minutes to get up. Tanjiro and Zenitsu had to lift me together. Tanjiro was greatly alarmed by it, and he had been treating me delicately ever since. I understood his concern, but I wasn’t helpless.

“I am strong,” I reminded him now, holding both of his hands in mine.

“I know you are,” he replied. “But, you’re making me nervous.”

“Trust me, Tanjiro,” I said softly. “If I need help, I’ll let you know.”

“I love you, Kanao Kamado, and that’s why I worry.”

“I love you, too. I’m going to go out the door now.”

The bathroom wasn’t particularly big or small, but he still had to back out of the doorway completely to let me through. I knew that whatever I said to him probably didn’t convince him of much. He was just going to worry. I smiled to myself because that’s how I knew he was going to be a good father.

It was November and the nights were getting longer, but that didn’t change what fun we had as a found family. One night, there was a blackout due to a bad storm. We all huddled in the living room together under blankets with only a few candles. It was fun until Zenitsu told a ghost story, which freaked out Inosuke so much that he demanded that Aoi sleep in his room again.

“Ino…SUKE!” Aoi snapped. “I told you I was only going to do that that one time!”

“Please, please, please!” Inosuke begged.

Aoi gave in with a groan, and we returned to our rooms. I heard her muttering to herself as she was walking.

“You know you’re gonna marry him, anyway,” she said under her breath.

On another night, Aoi gave me and Tanjiro detailed instructions about what to do when it came time for me to give birth. Specifically, she went over what to expect when it actually happened. Tanjiro hung on her every word. He was so serious about it. I knew he was mentally preparing himself. I also listened to Aoi intently. Some of the things she said were rather frightening, but they were important. That night, because I was nearing my final month, she sat the both of us down again to reassure we understood the plan.

“I’ve arranged for Dr. Watanabe to be the one to deliver your baby,” Aoi said. “She is the most experienced doctor at the clinic, and she’s done this countless times. You’re in good hands, Kanao.”

“I wanted you to do it,” Tanjiro said.

“I have observed Dr. Watanabe in a birth before,” Aoi said. “I had to as part of my official exam. But, I am not qualified to do it myself yet. It takes strict training. But, I can be with you as assisting with the birth if that makes you feel better.”

That night in bed, Tanjiro lay on his back and didn’t say anything. I knew he was thinking about what Aoi told us. I was tracing random shapes around my navel, but Tanjiro just stared at the ceiling. Something had to be on his mind, because he was never like this. Usually, bedtime was when he was most vulnerable.

“Tanjiro,” I asked cautiously. “What’s wrong?”

He took a deep breath. “I know that you can do this, Kanao. This whole time, everything you’ve done, everything you’ve said, and every way you’ve interacted with the baby has proved to me that you’re going to be a great mother. I don’t know about myself.”

“We’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?” I reminded him. “You will be a wonderful father, Tanjiro. I hear you praying to the spirit of your own father at night. I hear you ask him for his guidance and wisdom, and I know that his spirit has soothed you.”

“Somehow, it just doesn’t feel like enough, though,” Tanjiro sighed.

“You want to be as great of a father as he was to you. That should answer your question,” I replied. “You have the desire to be a great father. That means you will be, Tanjiro. You have to trust yourself. And, I’m scared, too. You heard Aoi… about what’s going to happen to me…”

I felt a shiver go down my spine and reverberate through my womb. I shuddered. Tanjiro rolled over and put his hand on my face. He looked deep into my eyes.

“This is going to be the hardest thing either of us has ever done,” he told me.

I thought about it for a minute. Was it harder than slaying demons or the final battle? Was it harder than working through the pain of losing our friends and loved ones? In many ways, it was. Tanjiro kept going.

“But, I will not leave your side, not for one second. We will go through everything, all the good and all the bad, together. We made that promise when we got married, and I will keep it for as long as I live. I love you, Kanao Kamado.”

Our first anniversary was a month before. We didn’t have a big celebration for it. We had a nice meal with everyone and then a lovely night of kissing and flirting in bed. We didn’t need anything more as long as we were together. He was right. We had the birth planned down to the last detail, and Aoi would coordinate everything. We didn’t have any reason to worry. We were in good hands.

“I love you, too, Tanjiro.”

He leaned in to kiss me, but I pressed my index finger to his lips. He blinked in surprise.

“But, you don’t have to worry about me,” I told him. “I know how to handle myself, even with all this extra weight.”

I said the last part with a smile. He smiled back and eyed me playfully.

“It’s just natural,” he said. “That’s what dads do.”

We both laughed and then we finally kissed. We laid there in silence, holding each other in peace. What was he so worried about? Of course, he’d be a wonderful father. The only thing he had in his heart was love.

A week later, I had my regular checkup with Aoi at home. December tenth, my due date, was in three weeks. I couldn’t lie straight down anymore without getting a searing pain through my lower back. It had taken me several minutes just to get in a position that was comfortable.

“Everything looks good,” Aoi said. “So, I just want to remind you that December tenth is more like a tentative date. It’s more likely going to be the twelfth or thirteenth. That’s why we’re going to have Dr. Watanabe come up here ahead of time, since we can’t bring you to the clinic.”

“Yep,” I said, trying to lift my head. “Understood.”

“It’s been nice having Tanjiro home this whole month,” Aoi commented. “For all of us, I mean. He gets a lot of work done.”

“He’s in a very busy mode because he’s trying to quell his anxiety,” I said. “He’s terrified and excited at the same time.”

“Well, that’s completely normal. What about you, though, Kanao?”

“I’m fine.”

“You understand the procedure?”

“Yes.”

“How do you feel about the procedure?”

“Terrified,” I admitted. “But, I’d also like him out of me at this point.”

The two of us laughed together, maybe a little too hard. There was more I felt like I had get out. I figured it was all right to tell Aoi now.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Tanjiro and I picked out a name six months ago. A boy’s name.”

“Of course,” Aoi chuckled. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Absolutely!”

“The two times I had to sleep in Inosuke’s room, I woke up to him holding my hand.”

I grinned. “He loves you so much, Aoi.”

“That’s exactly what he said when he noticed I was awake.”

“Did you say it back to him?”

“Yes, I did.”

We both laughed genuinely. Aoi truly was my best friend.

“I have another question,” I asked her.

“Okay?”

“Do you want the baby to grow up calling you Auntie Aoi, or just Miss Kanzaki?”

Aoi suddenly turned deep red. “Um, Miss Kanzaki is fine. I’m not really a fan of using ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ for non blood-relatives.”

We were all rebuilding to include the baby. That’s how strong our bond was. I was still terrified about the next few weeks, but I knew I had everyone’s support.

On December fifth, three days before Dr. Watanabe was supposed to come up, Tanjiro dropped a plate and shattered it. Two nights prior, he didn’t sleep at all. The previous night, he was out like a light at nine o’clock. He had slept extra late this morning. He would’ve slept for longer, except I had to wake up him so he could help me to the bathroom. I actually had to shake him awake. Normally, he responded to just a gentle touch. He hadn’t been himself for days. I was in our room sewing when I suddenly heard the plate shatter against the floor, followed by Tanjiro shouting, “DAMMIT!” He hardly ever swore out loud unless he was really angry. I heard Aoi’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Tanjiro, it’s fine,” she reassured him. “It’s just one plate.”

“But, now we have to buy another one!”

“No, we don’t. We have extra.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Please, don’t be.”

I wanted to go to him, which meant I had to put on my loud voice, too.

“Tanjiro!!! I want to get up!!!”

I heard footsteps coming up to my door, but it was Nezuko who opened it. She had a big smile, but it looked like it was partially a nervous one.

“There, there, I’ve got you, Kanao,” she said.

She put her arms around me and heaved me to my feet. She kept her arm on my shoulder and we walked out to the kitchen together. Aoi was cleaning up the broken plate and Tanjiro was sitting on the couch, looking very frustrated.

“Brother, you don’t look so well,” said Nezuko.

“My anxiety has been getting to me,” he sighed. “I’m sorry, Kanao. It’s just that… we’re so close now.”

“I’m all right,” I told him. “I feel just fine!”

Zenitsu and Inosuke had entered the room now. Both of them looked eager for something.

“I know what will take your mind off things,” Zenitsu said. “We haven’t had a guys-only onsen day in a while! Whaddya say we head downtown now? There’s still plenty of time!”

“Guys,” Tanjiro replied. “I can’t go to the onsen. I have to stay here.”

“Please, don’t worry about me, Tanjiro,” I repeated. “There’s still another whole week to go. Enjoy yourself with your friends.”

“We have Kanao all taken care of,” Nezuko chimed in.

Tanjiro sighed, then looked at Zenitsu and Inosuke.

“All right,” he decided. “I suppose it will make me feel better.”

“What time will you be back?” Aoi asked.

“Not sure,” answered Zenitsu. “But, don’t expect us back for dinner. We’re gonna treat Tanjiro, too!”

“No, you’re not!” Tanjiro protested.

“Oh, come on!” shouted Inosuke, ruffling Tanjiro’s hair aggressively. “It’ll be just like at your wedding. We’re gonna embarrass the nerves right out of you!”

“Stop with my hair! But, fine, that makes sense.”

The three of them went out the door, but Tanjiro paused for a second, turned around, and looked at me.

“I love you, Kanao Kamado.”

“I love you, too. Please, just have fun.”

I was glad he decided to go. He looked dreadful. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was about three in the afternoon. I looked around at Nezuko and Aoi.

“Well, if the guys aren’t going to be home for dinner, let’s make a special dinner of our own!” Nezuko decided. “Kanao, what would you like to eat?”

I thought for a minute. “I want barbecue. Is that a little strange for December?”

“Actually, barbecue sounds delicious!” Aoi perked up. “But, that also means I better start getting everything ready now.”

“I’ll help you,” Nezuko said. “But, first, Kanao, you should sit on the couch. Want me to bring your sewing from your room?”

“Yes, please,” I answered.

I had sewn several outfits for the baby. I worked on yet another pillow while I was sitting on the couch. Sewing was a challenge for my eye, but it kept it strong. Aoi and Nezuko chatted among themselves while they were getting the grill ready. Barbecue took a long time to prepare, and clean up after. I liked listening to them chat about mundane, everyday life type of things. I felt three light taps inside my womb. I smiled serenely. In just a few days, I’d finally get to know who he was.

“Uh-oh,” Nezuko said suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“It started snowing,” she replied. “You don’t think that will mess up the guys’ night out?”

“It’ll be okay,” Aoi said. “There’s an indoor onsen, too.”

“No, I meant, for their way home.”

Aoi looked out the window. “It’s just a light snow, and I don’t hear any wind. It probably won’t get worse than this.”

When dinner was ready, Aoi and Nezuko brought the food over to me so I didn’t have to get up. We placed the food on the coffee table. Nezuko sat next to me on the couch and Aoi sat cross-legged on the floor. Nezuko looked at me shyly.

“Kanao… can I… touch your belly?”

“Of course!” I grinned. “He was just kicking before. Maybe you’ll feel him.”

Nezuko gingerly moved her hand over my stomach. Sure enough, there was a kick right underneath her hand. She gasped.

“Oh my!” she exclaimed. “That was his foot?”

“Yep!”

She started squealing in excitement, her hands over her mouth.

“Oh my goodness! I-I’m sorry, hahaha. I’m getting way too excited over this.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Tanjiro cried the first time he felt it. And, oh! There were two more kicks just now. Did you feel those, Nezuko?”

“I did!”

“How much has the baby been kicking today?” Aoi asked.

“Since I woke up,” I answered. “He’s been an active one lately. I guess that’s expected, right? It’s almost time.”

“Yes, that’s expected.”

“Barbecue was a good choice, Kanao,” Nezuko added. “And, I’m impressed with myself for how good this came out.”

When we were done eating, we talked a little about Nezuko’s wedding plans. She told us that Zenitsu didn’t want to go back to the Butterfly Mansion, but he didn’t want to do it in the village, either. They had decided on April for now. I had my empty plate on top of my stomach. I was so wide that it stayed in place without wobbling. I grinned from ear to ear. It was so amusing to me. Every few minutes, he’d kick again. They were not the forceful kicks to the ribs that he sometimes gave me, they were just light little taps of his little feet. I tapped him back everywhere he kicked me. Aoi noticed and asked what I was doing. I told her that I was playing a game with the baby. We ended up eating the entire serving of barbecue we made, but we figured the guys had their own delicious meal. I hoped that Tanjiro was relaxed and having a good time. He really needed it.

I sat there on the couch like a boulder. I couldn’t even see over my stomach anymore. I giggled when I thought of it. Just five more days. Aoi had already arranged for the midwife to come up the mountain me, although I wasn’t sure how she would make it all the way up the mountain in the snow. The snow outside was starting to pick up, but it was peaceful. I put my sewing to the side because my fingers were getting tired and I couldn’t focus with all of the movement happening inside me. Nezuko and Aoi were putting all the dishes away.

“Where are our men?” Nezuko asked. “We knew they wouldn’t be home for dinner, but this is really late.”

“They’re fine,” Aoi grumbled. “Those three have superhuman senses. They’ll find their way home in the snow.”

“Aoi,” I called out. “Can I have a glass of water?”

“Sure, coming up,” she replied. “You okay, Kanao?”

“I’m fine,” I answered. “Just thirsty.”

I was happily tracing the baby’s name on my stomach with my finger, giggling to myself. Aoi brought the water to me. I took it gingerly, then I drank the whole thing instantly. Aoi looked at me with wide eyes.

“Um, Kanao, are you sure you’re all right?”

“I’m fine,” I repeated. “But, it suddenly got warm in here. Is the stove still on?”

“Nope, I turned it off,” Nezuko called from the kitchen. “But, Aoi, I need your help with the grill.”

Aoi gave me a look. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“All right.”

Nezuko and Aoi went outside to clean the grill. I continued to trace the name over and over again. The guys really were out later than they said they’d be. They must’ve had fun. I took a few deep breaths, just to pass the time. It did feel warm, though. For no reason, I tried whistling to myself. I had never been able to do it, but Tanjiro could do it well. I kept at it, though. I was pretty determined. It took the odd feeling out of my head. What was this? It was like a buzzing in my head, and a trembling in my body. There was also a strange numbness in my fingertips. After a few more attempts at whistling, I suddenly broke out into cold sweat. Why was I whistling? It was because I couldn’t breathe. Now, I was panting, and it was getting worse. It wasn’t warm in the house, I was overheating. What was happening? It was like my whole system was reacting. I was losing feeling in my legs. I felt my stomach churn, but it wasn’t like I was going to be sick. It was something else, something like… like a burst…

“N-N-NEZUKO!!! AOI!!! AOI!!!”

I had never heard my voice that loud. Within seconds, Nezuko and Aoi were back inside, and I was falling off the couch.

“Kanao, what’s wrong?” Nezuko cried.

“I-I don’t know!!!”

The pain was increasing, and tears were filling my eyes.

“You’re in labor,” Aoi explained. “I knew it… There’s no time to call Dr. Watanabe and there’s no possible way she could get up here in the snow. Nezuko, help me get her to her room.”

They each took one of my arms and tried to lift me. Instead, I slid right off the couch and took all the cushions with me. I screamed.

Nezuko looked at Aoi desperately.

“I don’t want to hurt her!”

“We’re going to do it here, then,” Aoi said, so calm even under pressure. “Nezuko, go get me the old sheets, the ones we were going to throw out. They’re in the outside closet on the top shelf, and they’re still clean.”

“Okay, then what?”

“Once you bring me the sheets, go run as fast as you can down the mountain and find the guys. They should be on their way home by now… I hope.”

Nezuko sprinted back outside. I was panting, sweating, and in excruciating pain. Aoi took the cushions from the couch and propped them up behind my back.

“Kanao, I have to take your clothes off,” she said. “Will you let me do that?”

“Yes,” I answered, my head spinning. “Then… then what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to wrap you up in the sheets and deliver your baby,” Aoi replied. “We have to do it this way. We can’t move you at this point.”

I was breathing so heavily that I was seeing stars now.

“T-Tanjiro…”

“He’s coming,” Aoi said and took my trembling hand. “But, we may have to start before he gets back.”

“No… no…”

“Kanao, you have to listen to me. I’m your doctor, and I’m your friend.” Aoi’s voice was finally starting to break. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes…”

Nezuko was back with the sheets. In a matter of minutes, Aoi removed my kimono and undergarments, then she and Nezuko wrapped me up. Aoi kept looking at the clock on the wall. My ears were ringing so loud, I couldn’t hear my thoughts. My already compromised vision was blurry, and I was still seeing stars. I had never been so scared before. All I wanted was Tanjiro.

Aoi turned to Nezuko. “Go find them. NOW!”

And, Nezuko bolted out the door.

Chapter Text

This Is Why

As Zenitsu, Inosuke, and I went down the mountain, I couldn’t get over the feeling in my gut that this was a bad idea. But, I agreed they had a point. I needed to calm down. It was just like what they did at my wedding. They made joke after joke about me, but they didn’t make any jokes about being a father. Instead, they just poked jabs at me for little things.

“Okay, now you make fun of us!” Zenitsu said, slapping me on the back.

I finally started to perk up. “I don’t know, I’ve got some good ones.”

“Lay it on me,” he grinned.

“All right,” I said, managing a small smile. “Zenitsu, you look like a mouse when you eat sometimes, and you’re a loud chewer. Inosuke, when you dislocate yourself, you look like a big puppet. It’s really disturbing.”

“That’s seriously the best you’ve got, Ganpachiro?” Inosuke laughed, messing my name up on purpose.

“I guess,” I said. “I don’t like making fun of people.”

“So straight-laced,” teased Zenitsu. “It’s time to be an idiot for once.”

“And, Monitsu and I are the biggest idiots you’ll ever meet!” Inosuke added.

I laughing genuinely. “Okay, but just for tonight.”

When we got to the onsen, it had started snowing, so we used the indoor bath. It was very calming. The hot water and the steam soothed my skin. I actually started to settle down. I thought about what Zenitsu had said, about being an idiot just once. However, I also couldn’t forget that Kanao was at home, unable to walk or move by herself. She had her sisters with her, including Aoi, but I still felt bad about leaving her. Meanwhile, Zenitsu and Inosuke were doing everything they could not to talk about Kanao in any conversation, but it wasn’t working well. It hung over our heads and we couldn’t think to talk about anything other than the women.

“I think Nezuko and I should have a spring wedding!” Zenitsu gushed dramatically. “I’m pushing for April when all the flowers will be in bloom, tee hee hee hee!”

“Hey, guys,” Inosuke said. “How much did you spend on those fancy rings?”

“Um, Kanao’s was 40,000 yen,” I replied. “It cost several salaries.”

“Nezuko’s was more like 55,000 yen,” Zenitsu chimed in. “I saved up for it for an entire year, and I could barely scrape that much cash together.”

“Huh?!?!” exclaimed Inosuke. “They’re really that expensive?!?! I don’t have that kind of money!”

“Are you actually going to propose to Aoi?” I asked incredulously.

“Uhhhhhh, I don’t know,” Inosuke stammered. “I still don’t really get the marriage thing yet. I wanna watch you two do it first! But, I, like, really love Aoi, you know?”

“That’s wonderful,” I said with a smile.

“Well, to tell the truth, Inosuke, no one quite understands your relationship with Aoi, but we’re all glad it’s working!” Zenitsu said.

“Sometimes I don’t understand it myself!” Inosuke beamed.

I chuckled. I really had been holding a lot of things back, and for too long. Kanao wanted me to have fun. This last week was going to be stressful, so maybe this onsen trip was okay, after all. We talked about things I never would’ve talked about with anyone else. It was endless stupid guy stuff and ridiculous, nonsensical topics. It actually felt good. Before I knew it, the three of us were dunking each other’s heads in the water and making fun of each other even harder. Zenitsu and Inosuke were forever my best friends, and that wouldn’t change at all when I was a father. I really did need to lighten up. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. The night was turning out to be a lot better than I thought.

In the locker room, Inosuke tried singing. He was terrible. Then, he asked me to sing, too.

“I can’t sing for the life of me,” I laughed.

“Nezuko says I have a fine voice!” boasted Zenitsu.

“That’s because love is deaf, too!” Inosuke replied. “You sound like a squeaky old door. If you have superior hearing, why can’t you tell that you suck?”

I started cracking up laughing. I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed like that. But, for some reason, I just found that hilarious. It was also the first time in a long time Zenitsu and Inosuke had heard me laugh like that, either. They started laughing, too. There we were, in the locker room, still only half-dressed, cackling our heads off. The people in the other bath gave us dirty looks and told us to be quiet, but we didn’t mind at all. This was our night. We were just a bunch of dumb guys.

After the onsen, Zenitsu and Inosuke led me somewhere “secret.”

“Just keep your eyes closed, and we’ll guide you,” Zenitsu snickered.

When they told me to open my eyes, I realized we were standing in front of the tavern.

“Why are we going here?” I asked. “You know I don’t drink.”

“Just try it this once!” Zenitsu suggested.

“Have you guys tried it?”

“We did,” admitted Zenitsu with a laugh. “You weren’t here. You were on a business trip. It was fun! You should have seen Inosuke.”

“I chugged it instead of sipping and my brain blew up!” Inosuke boasted.

I chuckled nervously. “Okay, I’ll try one glass.”

Thankfully, the inside of the tavern wasn’t crowded that night. The bartender’s jaw fell to the floor when he saw me.

“Well, I never thought I’d live to see the day when Tanjiro came in for a drink!”

“I just want one,” I said meekly. “Give me the weakest one you have.”

“Haha, still our Tanjiro,” the bartender laughed.

The bartender gave us the best seats at the bar. Once we were served, the three of us said, “Cheers!” I took a very small sip. I was immediately taken aback. It tasted like rice, except liquid rice that burned my nose. I sneezed and Zenitsu and Inosuke laughed.

“I wanna tell you a funny story!” Inosuke shouted. “So, you know, Aoi and I went out to buy shirts. She told me they were for dates in town. I told her I was only gonna buy two of them. So we go to the store, and there’s a bright green shirt with a lot of weird circles on it. And, I said to her, ‘I WANT THAT SHIRT!’ She was like, ‘You like lime green?’ And, I said, ‘Yeah, because if I wear it on a date, and we get separated, you’ll know exactly how to find me because I’ll stand out in the crowd!’ And, she said, ‘But, you already stand out in the crowd because you wear the hide of a wild boar on your head!’ And, then I said, ‘Yeah, I’ll be even more recognizable! You’ll always know your Inosuke! We’ll always be together!!!’ And, then, she got this really big smile, ACTUALLY KISSED ME IN PUBLIC, bought me the shirt, and then we bought another shirt in an even more outrageous orange! It was the best date ever! Did I mention that she ACTUALLY KISSED ME IN PUBLIC?!?!”

“That’s amazing, Inosuke,” I said with a grin.

“I have another funny story!” Zenitsu declared. “Once upon a time, there was a boar, a wolf, and a tanuki. The boar only had a boar’s head, and the rest of him was a scraggly regular dude. The wolf was an unusual shade of yellow, but majestic and incredibly handsome. And, the tanuki had a giant forehead that was as hard as a rock! They went into the forest, and they were greeted by the fattest elephant there ever was in the entire world! And, the three of them were like, ‘What the hell is an elephant doing in the forest, and Japan in general, in the first place?’ And, the elephant said, ‘I have three lady elephants with me who all have the biggest ears in the land! Look how amazing I am!’ And, then the three of us said that he was actually annoying and toppled him down the hill. Har, har, har!”

“Okay, you still hate that god of festivals guy…” said Inosuke, meaning Tengen.

“Nezuko is prettier and lovelier than any of his giant boob wives!” Zenitsu huffed. “And, she can kick just as much ass as them!”

They were genuinely trying to cheer me up. I drank my saké slowly. Inosuke and Zenitsu seemed right at home in the tavern. They weren’t much older than me, and yet there seemed to be a stark contrast between us. I couldn’t help but think, as much as we were all beyond our years, that they seemed more like adults than me. And, I was the married one. I was the one going to be father in just a few days. The whole point of this excursion was to take my mind off of that, though. I took another sip. The saké tasted terrible, but I was going to wince and drink it for the occasion. I watched Zenitsu and Inosuke drink it like it was nothing. Maybe I did need to loosen up more often, not just today. The question was… when was I going to be able to do that? It was a great night, but I couldn’t see myself having another day like this for another year, or two years. Maybe it would be even longer.

I was afraid Zenitsu and Inosuke were going to drink a lot, but they actually didn’t. They treated me to a three course meal, which was embarrassing. Thankfully, the tavern didn’t cost a lot, and we only ordered dumplings, edamame, a nigiri platter, and fruit ice cream for dessert. I at least convinced them to let me pay for the ice cream, otherwise it would’ve felt wrong. I knew it was supposed to be my night, but it was my nature. When the bartender tried offering us another round of saké, I protested profusely. When we left the tavern, the snow was coming down harder. It wasn’t a blizzard, and it was still soft and peaceful. It was just a little hard to see. As we were walking down the street, Inosuke stopped at Mr. Inamoto’s. It was closed and locked up, but the jewelry was still on display in the window. He looked at it curiously.

“Pssst, Tanjiro,” Zenitsu whispered to me. “Look at him.”

“Don’t worry, he’s not going to do it for a while,” I said. “That’s just a gut feeling. I don’t think Aoi is ready.”

“I still can’t believe Nezuko actually said yes!” squealed Zenitsu.

“I can,” I said with a smile. “She adores you. And, I’ll be there for you the same way you were for me at my wedding.”

“Really?” Zenitsu beamed.

“Yep, and then it will be my turn to tease you.”

Inosuke pushed his boar hide back on his forehead and looked up at the snowy sky with his tongue stuck out.

“Hey, guys, look! Free ice cream!”

“We should get back,” I said. “We’ve been out a little too late.”

“Yeah,” agreed Zenitsu. “But, did you have fun, Tanjiro?”

I smiled widely. “I did.”

We began our ascent up the mountain. The falling snow and the evening made it hard to see, so we walked slowly. Inosuke was desperate to make a snow angel on the ground. After five times of him pleading, we finally stopped and let him.

“There will be snow tomorrow, you know,” Zenitsu said.

“But, this is the first snow!” Inosuke cackled. “It’s the softest!”

“He does have a point,” mumbled Zenitsu. “But, tomorrow, it will be perfect for having a snowball fight!”

“Aren’t we too old for that?” I chuckled with an eyebrow raised.

“I don’t care if we’re too old for that, I like being an idiot with you guys!” Inosuke said. “Tanjiro still needs to loosen up more! Let’s have a real fight right now!”

Zenitsu and I started laughing. Part of me did want to start rolling around in the snow. It was a happy thought and I needed those at the moment. If Inosuke pushed my face into the cold snow, maybe it would freeze my mind and clear everything from it. But, despite all their efforts, I still hadn’t forgotten. I had a wife at nine months at home.

“Really, we should get going,” I said.

“Yeah,” replied Zenitsu. “I wonder what the women made for dinner.”

“Knowing Kanao, something with pork,” I laughed. “It’s her biggest craving, right after mochi.”

“I ate some of Kanao’s mochi,” Inosuke admitted.

“Then you owe me at least 3,000 yen,” I said.

“Why?”

“That’s how much I spend on mochi.”

Our walk up the mountain was becoming more like a trudge. The snow was not too deep, but the wind was picking up. It wasn’t a dangerous snow, it was just obstructing. It was worse for me with only one eye. Still, everything actually looked quite pretty. It was a full moon, and that lighted our way. It was silver and white all around. My family died in December. But, now it was also the month my baby would be born. December turned into January and the new year. There was something about the winter, how it was both the end and the beginning.

“You know, looking at this, part of me wants to change my mind about an April wedding. A winter wedding would be wonderful, too,” mused Zenitsu.

“Yeah, but then you and Nezuko will freeze to death in your fancy schmancy kimonos!” Inosuke argued.

“Our love will keep us warm, idiot!” Zenitsu responded. “And, you’re one to talk because you’re not wearing a shirt!”

“Shirts are for dates only! But, just so ya know, I do look handsome in them.”

“Please, guys…” I droned.

We were about halfway home now, and the incline was steeper. Inosuke and I were used to the mountains, but Zenitsu had to pause to catch his breath. He made big displays of panting. Even with all the training the three of us did together, Zenitsu could still be kind of prissy. People changed in some ways and stayed the same forever in others. Inosuke called him a “drama king” and I chuckled to myself. I wanted to get home, though. It was colder now that it was night time, and my anxiety was coming back. I wanted to get home before Kanao went to bed. If I didn’t get to kiss her goodnight, I didn’t sleep well.

Suddenly, we saw a figure sprinting toward us, and we all stopped dead in our tracks. As the figure got closer, we realized it was Nezuko. She was clearly panicked about something. She almost fell down when she reached us.

“Nezuko, what happened?!?!” Zenitsu exclaimed.

She was doubled over and wheezing. She could barely get the words out.

“B-brother… you h-have… to hurry…”

“What’s wrong?” I asked her with dread.

“K-Kanao… went into labor… f-five days early… The baby… is coming now!”

In a fraction of a second, I was sprinting, too. I had never run that fast in my life. I didn’t feel the cold wind on my cheeks at all. I didn’t feel my bad arm flopping chaotically behind me. I was aware of my heart pounding but couldn’t actually feel it, either. The snow blew into my eyes and obstructed my vision, but I knew the way home by instinct. My mind was completely blank, and I was running as if hypnotized. I could only think about Kanao, and how I had to get home as soon as possible.

When I finally reached the house, I threw the door open so fast and so hard that it shook the walls. Then, I froze. Kanao was collapsed on her back on the living room floor. The cushions on the couch had been removed, and she was propped up against them. Several sheets had been thrown over and under her. Her clothes were in a heap to the side. Aoi must have removed them. Her hair was down and disheveled, and she was panting hard in distress. When she saw me, she burst into tears.

“Tanjiro! Tanjiro!”

“What’s happening?!?!” I cried.

“I can’t move her! She’s well into her contractions,” Aoi explained. “We’re going to have to do this right here.”

I didn’t hesitate for a second. I was by Kanao’s side instantly. She looked up at me with huge, teary eyes.

“Tanjiro, I’m scared…”

“It’s all right,” I said, touching her cheek. “You are strong and brave, Kanao Kamado. I’m right here with you.”

I brushed her hair out of her face. I was scared, too. I was downright terrified, more than I had ever been in my life. I had found my mother and siblings slaughtered. I had fought so many demons, faced my most hated enemy, and nearly died countless times. And, yet, none of that had scared me more than this.

“In two more contractions, you have to push,” Aoi said, ready at the foot of the blankets. “You need to listen to everything I tell you, got it?”

Kanao continued to look at me, as if for approval. I took her hand.

“You can do this,” I told her.

At that moment, Nezuko, Zenitsu, and Inosuke came back. Nezuko immediately flew to Kanao’s other side and took her other hand. Aoi looked over her shoulder at Zenitsu and Inosuke, who were still standing in the doorway.

“You two might want to get out of here,” she shouted.

“No way,” Zenitsu declared. “We’re here for Tanjiro.”

Aoi turned back to Kanao, looking her straight in the eye.

“Okay, Kanao. Push!”

What happened next was like a blur. I remembered Kanao huffing, yelling, and gripping my hand so hard that both our knuckles turned white. At one point, Aoi barked at Zenitsu to fill up a bucket of water, but I didn’t hear anything else she said. My ears were ringing, and my heart was pounding. I didn’t dare to close my eyes, even though I was terrified. Aoi had warned us for months about the baby’s size, and now Kanao was laboring extra hard to get him out. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, even as she struggled, because I was astounded by her strength. Kanao had spent nine months literally growing another human being, and now she had to push it out of her own body. She was certainly far stronger than me.

After a very intense labor, it was all over. Kanao flopped back on the cushions. Her brow was drenched with sweat, and her chest was heaving. Nezuko was down at the end of the sheets with Aoi. I leaned towards Kanao’s face, still gripping her hand. I couldn’t feel my fingers at all.

“You did it,” I whispered.

She was in a daze. “I did?”

“Yes. Kanao, I am so proud of you.”

“Where…” Kanao panted. “Where’s the baby?”

Suddenly Nezuko was back, beaming and crying.

“The baby is getting cleaned up!”

Then, I heard it. It had probably been going on for several minutes, but I was only aware of it now. I heard the crying, strong and healthy. I slowly sat up, mesmerized. Aoi had her back to us, hovering over the water bucket. Then, she looked at us over her shoulder. She was smiling.

“Want to hold your son?”

Aoi turned around and there he was. She had swaddled him in another blanket, and now she was carefully bringing him over. She passed him to Kanao with the utmost care. Kanao took him into her arms, cradling him like the most precious thing in the world. I couldn’t feel any part of my body. There was only a feeling of suspension as if I were in a dream. I just kept staring. I had completely forgotten how to breathe.

“My vision is blurry,” Kanao breathed, just as incredulous. “What does he look like?”

Nezuko answered. “He is… the spitting image of his father.”

And, then, I could really see him. We were told he was big, but he looked so tiny to me. I stared at him, trying to register what Nezuko had just said. His wispy hair was wet and flattened. Even with only a little, however, it had the unmistakable reddish hue to it. After several delayed attempts, my breath returned. I inhaled slowly, then exhaled slowly. I just kept staring at my wife and my baby. My baby. The floodgates suddenly burst open, and all my voice escaped.

“Kanao…” I sobbed. “He’s… he’s beautiful!”

“Oh, Tanjiro…” Kanao sighed happily.

“I… I’m sorry,” I continued between gasps and my flowing tears. “I just… I just can’t get over it. It’s him! He’s here!”

Kanao leaned her nose down toward him. Her smile was pure love.

“Hi! Hi, sweetheart,” she whispered softly. “I can see you now. You really are beautiful. You really do look just like your daddy.”

“You really think so?” I asked. “Well, he’s got the red highlights in his hair…”

“Here, you want to hold him?” Kanao asked, holding the baby out towards me. “See for yourself.”

I felt like I was being presented with the world’s highest honor. Slowly, I took the baby into my arm, clutching him against my chest. I had a better look at him now, and my heart leapt into my throat. It was true. It wasn’t just his hair. He had the same face, although with Kanao’s smaller nose. Everything else about him was a Kamado, though. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but I was sure they were going to be red. I held this baby, this tiny human being that Kanao and I made, against my own body, feeling my heart bounce and thump and my tears cascade down my face. I gazed at him, completely transfixed by how beautiful he was. There was only one thought running through my head.

This is why.

I’d been through so much in my life. My family was murdered. My sister became a demon. I became a demon. I lost so many of my friends in battle. So many innocent lives were lost at the hands of the demons. I endured the pain and suffering that came with my journey. I saw so many horrific things and never knew if I would make it out alive. Now, I was dealt with a curse that would cut my life short. There was no reason for loss, nor was there any justification for any of it. None of that could ever be changed. None of those people could ever be brought back. But, what we fought for wasn’t for nothing. This child was going to be able to play with his friends until late at night and never have to look over his shoulder for a demon. He was never going to come home to find the tragedy that I found. He would never need to lay his hand on a sword. He was born into a world where he could be anything he wanted. He would be free to make mistakes, learn from them, and grow. And, through my sacrifice, I created that world for him.

It was worth it. All the tears of pain and grief I cried led to these tears of incomparable joy. The whole journey was worth it, and this child, my son, was why.

Kanao and I were holding him together now. My tears wouldn’t stop falling. Kanao was sitting up against the couch cushions. I had no idea how she could move. We locked our gazes, and then we both leaned in and shared a long, happy kiss. I was in absolute awe of her. No words could have described it. And, the three of us were together for the first time ever, a family.

Zenitsu was over with Nezuko now, and they held each other lovingly. Nezuko was trying her best to compose herself.

“You’ll have to think of a name for him,” she said.

“We already thought of one,” Kanao answered. “It was because of the first sun-breather that the Kamado family learned the Hinokami Kagura. Without the Hinokami Kagura, Tanjiro’s journey would never have been possible. We were able to win the final battle and eradicate the demons, so now the story has come full circle, like the sun itself. The birth of our son marks the completion of the first sun-breather’s story and the start of a new one, because he is born into a peaceful world without demons. Tanjiro and I wanted to show respect to that first sun-breather, because the Kamado family is indebted to him. His name was Yoriichi Tsugikuni.”

“Welcome to the world,” I breathed, caressing my baby’s cheek. “Yoriichi Kamado.”

Nezuko had fresh tears, and even Zenitsu was moved now.

“Brother,” Nezuko cried. “I love that so much! Congratulations.”

“You’re going to be a great auntie, sweetie,” Zenitsu said, kissing her forehead.

“Kanao,” Aoi said suddenly, after being quiet for a long time. “Nezuko and I are going to show you how to feed him. Tanjiro, you don’t have to stay for this part.”

“I’m not leaving my wife,” I replied.

“All right, then,” Aoi answered. “Although, Zenitsu, can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure?”

“Go scoop Inosuke up off the floor,” Aoi said with annoyance. “I think he fainted during the birth or something.”

“Huh?!?! You knew he fainted and said nothing?!?!” Zenitsu exclaimed.

“He’s fine,” Aoi sighed. “I warned him it was going to be graphic. Now I have to explain this to him later…”

Zenitsu took care of Inosuke and then dragged him into his room. I did not leave Kanao’s side for the rest of the night. I watched in amazement as she held Yoriichi to her breast and began nursing him. I was falling more and more in love with her with every second. I thought I couldn’t possibly fall any deeper than I already had, yet there I was, plummeting. When Yoriichi was done nursing, he finally opened his eyes. They were indeed the same deep red.

"There you are!" Kanao cooed.

It took a second for his eyes to focus, then he looked at me straight on.

“Hi,” I breathed. “I’m your dad.”

Addressing myself with the word hit me like a train, but I was so unbelievably happy.

Due to complications in the birth, Kanao was not allowed to move. So, Aoi brought our bed into the living room. I didn’t care at all. I slept with my shirt on that night. It wasn’t because I was cold, I just thought it would catch my heart if it sprang out of my chest. I was exhausted, but not nearly as exhausted as Kanao. She fell asleep immediately, holding Yoriichi against her body. Still, I had trouble falling asleep. My head was swimming with things I wanted to tell my wife. I had only managed to tell her one thing before she was out.

“I just want to tell you,” I whispered. “That I am so beyond in love with you, and I am so beyond proud of you, too. You are the strongest and bravest person I've ever known."

She smiled back at me tiredly. “Thank you.”

Now, I looked at her peacefully asleep. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her or Yoriichi. His tiny fingers were curled up and rested against his mother’s skin. I wanted to put him on my chest, so I could hold him right next to my heart. I was a father. It was bewildering, but I loved it. I said several prayers to my own father, thanking his spirit for all of the help he had given me in the last nine months. I knew I would still be asking him for guidance, and for years to come. He became a father at twenty-one. Now, I was a father at nineteen. My youth didn’t change anything for me, though. I didn’t have much time left, but I was going to be the best father I could be regardless of any of that. I reached out and gently touched Yoriichi’s tiny hand with my finger. His skin was so soft, and I started to cry again. I already adored him. I felt as if I had adored him for thousands of years. I didn’t want to disturb Kanao, because she was holding our baby. Instead, I buried my face in her sweet-smelling hair. It had been a long, exhausting, highly emotional, and terrifying night.

But, it was also, without any debate, the best day of my life.

Chapter Text

Family I

A Child Named Destiny

I was peacefully in the middle of a very interesting dream that had something to do with running through water, when an ear-splitting noise shattered it. I jolted awake and sat up. It was still the early hours of the morning. Now, Kanao was sitting up, too. She was already undoing the shoulders of her night kimono. Yoriichi was in her lap, wailing away.

“How do you know he’s hungry?” I whispered.

“Well, he’s not wet,” she answered.

I rubbed my eyes. If she was awake, then I was awake. That was how we were going to do it. New Year’s had rolled around, and we were officially one month into being parents. So far, it had been incredible, as well as mentally and emotionally draining. My time off ended the next week, and then I had to go back to work. The thought gripped me with anxiety. I didn’t want to leave Kanao like this. We were barely hanging on some days.

Kanao was trying to get Yoriichi to nurse, but he wouldn’t stop squirming. I wondered if he was actually hungry. Sometimes, I was convinced that he just woke up and started crying for no reason. He did this most mornings, sometimes even around three o’clock. Then, he’d wriggle around incessantly before finally finding his mother’s breast, and then he’d nurse for what often seemed like ten minutes. Kanao and I had both asked Aoi if that was normal. He was just a very hungry baby. I couldn’t keep up. He already had so much personality. A gut feeling told me that I should be cautious for the future. Finally, Kanao had him latched.

“What does that feel like?” I asked her, just to fill the void.

She turned her head slowly and narrowed her eyes at me.

“I really don’t want to have this conversation with you right now…” she droned.

“Fair enough.”

“Did you have any plans for today?”

“It was the same plans I’ve had for a month now, help you with Yoriichi.”

“You should take some time for yourself, Tanjiro.”

“The last time I did that, I barely made it back in time to be there for you. I’m too afraid to leave you now. That’s why I’m dreading going back to work.”

“I appreciate all your help,” she sighed. “I understand why you don’t want to go back to work again. But, how about we talk about that later, when I’m not doing this.”

“Sure. Sorry.”

“No worries.”

Kanao’s eyelids fluttered tiredly. Yoriichi didn’t appear as if he’d be done anytime soon. His hair was already starting to grow in more. He was going to have thin, straight hair, like Kanao. He had the red Kamado highlights, but not the thick, wavy texture. The more I looked at him, the more I loved him. But, that didn’t make these kinds of mornings any less terrible.

Yoriichi’s crying woke up everyone else in the house, of course. They were all forgiving of it, most of the time. Inosuke usually just went back to sleep, however it was a lot more jarring for Zenitsu. He wouldn’t complain about it too much, but he made very obvious displays of how tired he was for the rest of the day. Nezuko already moved into his room, as their wedding was in three months, but they were still in separate beds. Aoi was happy to finally have her own room. Everything was shifting now, but we were still the same family. Because we were up early that day, we had an early breakfast. The only one who never seemed bothered by the sudden wakeup calls was Nezuko, who was completely enamored with her nephew.

“Hi, Yoriichi!!!” she gushed.

Kanao had him in her lap at the breakfast table. Now that he had fed, he was more awake and his eyes were staying open. Nezuko was trying to get him to look at her, and she playfully tapped his feet.

“Over here! Look at Auntie! Auntie has your toes!”

“He’s not going to look at you, Nezuko,” I laughed tiredly. “He doesn’t even look at me.”

Nezuko feigned a gasp. “You don’t look at Daddy, Yoriichi?”

“He’s very bright, though,” Kanao chimed in. “I can already tell.”

“Well, of course!” Nezuko grinned. “His mommy and daddy are both very smart. Oh, that means we better watch out, hahaha!”

The next week, I had to go back to work. I cried when I kissed Kanao that morning. I felt so guilty about leaving her. Thankfully, Yoriichi had been quiet and we’d both slept through the whole night.

“I’ll be just fine, Tanjiro. I have a whole family here.”

“Yes, you do. I’ll be itching to get home to you all day.”

“No, you’re going to do your job.”

“Yes, but in the back of my mind…”

She interrupted me by kissing me lovingly. I managed a small smile. I looked down at her lap, where Yoriichi was still sleeping. I bent over and kissed my son’s soft cheek. I actually felt refreshed. It was amazing what a little kiss in the morning could do.

At work, the other councilmen greeted me with an applause and several congratulations. They hadn’t seen me in two months, and they all had their own questions.

“‘Yoriichi?’ That’s unusual. How’d you come up with that?” Mr. Takeda asked.

“It’s a family name from several generations back,” I said.

Even though Tsugikuni wasn’t a blood ancestor, he was like a part of my family.

“I like it, though,” added Mr. Uotani. “It’s rare and it sounds regal. You’re definitely the type not to go the traditional route, Kamado.”

“Is he happy and healthy?” Mr. Fukuhara joined in.

I smiled genuinely for the first time all day. “Yes. Kanao and I are happy, too.”

“Of course, you are! We’re all fathers, too, and we know exactly how you feel,” said Mr. Uotani. “But, I gotta say, Kamado, you look exhausted. Come have some tea.”

At the meeting that day, they told me the next time I needed to meet with Mr. Yamashita was in April. Thankfully, it was at the beginning, whereas Nezuko and Zenitsu’s wedding was at the end. Still, my heart sank because it meant I was going to be traveling a lot that month. The wedding venue was in a different village that had a huge arboretum. It wasn’t far, but we’d still have to spend a few days there. And, now we’d have to bring Yoriichi… That reminded me that I’d also have to tell Mr. Yamashita about Yoriichi’s birth. I knew he’d be excited for me. And, his daughter was an infant, too, so we’d have lots of stories to swap. I was starting to think of Mr. Yamashita as a friend now. He signed all his letters as just “Ken,” so I guessed that’s what he wanted me to call him.

It was back to work for all of us in the family. Zenitsu had taken a break from his memoir and was back to writing poetry. He was setting a lot of his poems to music using the mandolin he bought. When the doctor’s clinic found out that Aoi had delivered a baby by herself, albeit as an emergency, they brought all of us down for questioning to prove it. We all recited our accounts of the entire night of Yoriichi’s birth, but they still didn’t believe it until they asked me. Even then, however, they were skeptical.

“Why didn’t your wife come down with you?” Dr. Katsunuma, the man in charge of the clinic, had asked me curtly. “Her testament is crucial.”

“Because, she’s at home with our two-week-old son,” I answered.

I had to restrain myself from snapping at him. I was actually quite irritated.

Finally, the other doctors agreed to authorize Aoi for more medical procedures, as long as she passed both a written and a performance exam in three days. She stayed up late every night studying and passed with flying colors. We were all very impressed. Aoi had been upset that they didn’t promote Nezuko as well, even though she had been instrumental during the entire birth. In the end, Inosuke baked Aoi a surprise cake and a note that said, One day you’re gonna own that whole damn place, Queen of the Mountain! She had actually cried tears of joy and then went on a late night stroll with Inosuke afterward. They stayed out until midnight together. It made all of us smile.

Inosuke’s job selling charcoal hadn’t changed much, but he built a specialized cart which allowed him to load even more baskets and taken even less trips. During the time he wasn’t going on runs or splitting wood or burning anything, he spent a lot of time in the shed. He didn’t tell anyone what he was up to. If anyone had to use the shed, he would rush out to it first. No one ever found whatever it was he was hiding, but I went in early one morning to look for shovel and noticed that there were several pieces of hacked wood and shavings on the floor. So, he was clearly building something. I just assumed it was something for his cart or another tool of some kind. It was nothing to worry about.

Kanao and I were relieved of cooking duties until things stabilized with Yoriichi, but we had no idea when that was actually going to happen. It was looking like it was going to be many months… On a positive note, it forced Inosuke to cook more often and his skills got much better. On a negative note, Zenitsu got a little whiny about it sometimes. Some old habits were just hard to kill. Since the incident when he ran away, he’d become a lot more responsible. It was actually commendable how many strides he had made. He stayed for Yoriichi’s birth when he absolutely didn’t have to. I appreciated that greatly, though I hadn’t told him yet.

“I keep forgetting to thank him because then he does something annoying,” I told Kanao that night. “He’s going to end up with a whiny child just like him someday and then he’ll see.”

“Perhaps,” she answered.

Yoriichi slept in between us now, and he was out like a little light. Kanao always kept one arm around him. I was back to sleeping on the right side of the bed. That way, I could hold them both with my good hand. We were waiting to introduce Yoriichi to the rest of his family when it got warmer. I knew they were already watching over him, though. It would be a long time before he understood that the flowers by the side of the house were his family. There was so much that I wanted to tell him myself and hoped that I lived to be able to.

“Can I hold him?” I asked Kanao.

“Of course.”

She picked up Yoriichi carefully and put him on my chest. I wrapped my arm around him. He didn’t move a muscle. When was actually asleep, he slept like a rock.

“Hey, kiddo,” I whispered to him.

I ran my pinky through his hair. It was Kanao’s texture, just like I predicted. I was glad he had something from her. He also had her small nose. In his sleep, he gurgled a couple times and moved his head. I stopped touching him. I didn’t want to wake him up. I was just going to let his weight on my chest lull me to sleep.

Kanao slid closer to me. “He even sleeps like you.”

“Huh? What do I sleep like?”

“It’s hard to explain,” Kanao yawned. “It’s the way your face looks when you’re peaceful or sleeping soundly. The way your fingers curl. Little things like that.”

“And, you can already tell that about him?”

“Yes, because I can’t take my eyes off either of you,” said Kanao softly with a smile.

I smiled and yawned, too. It wasn’t that late yet. But, when Yoriichi went to sleep, so did we. And, we were tired, anyway.

“I love you, Tanjiro,” Kanao sighed sleepily.

“I love you, too, Kanao Kamado.”

“And, Mommy loves you very much, Yoriichi,” she added.

She kissed the top of his head, and he shivered slightly.

“Daddy loves you, too,” I echoed.

I couldn’t wait for him to say it back.

In three months, I saw Mr. Yamashita, or Ken, again on my next trip. Spending time with him outside of council business actually made the trips more bearable. We were very casual now. I felt like I was more on his level, and more like a man. I was a father now, and it made me feel more confident and changed. I told him about Yoriichi, and he hung on my every word. He was genuinely interested.

“That’s quite the name!” Ken remarked.

That was everyone’s reaction when I told them my son’s name. It wasn’t common and it sounded like a name from three hundred years ago, which it was. I understood people’s reactions, but it was getting kind of annoying. I didn’t say that to him or show it, though.

“There’s a symbolic reason behind why we chose it,” I said.

“I’m trying to think…” Ken mused, finger to his chin. “It means ‘destiny.’”

I blinked in surprise. Ken was right. Kanao and I hadn’t considered the name’s meaning when we decided on it. Our focus was simply honoring the person who made my entire journey, and therefore our victory against the demons, possible. Apparently, our choice of name was even more symbolic than we thought.

“Yes, it does,” I said, and then changed the subject. “How is your daughter?”

“Oh, Kagura,” laughed Ken. “Mitsuri and I already have our guards up. She’s more work than both her brothers combined. Watching her grow up is going to be an adventure.”

“Uh-huh,” I chuckled nervously.

“But, don’t get me wrong, Tanjiro,” Ken added with a big smile. “Watching any of your kids grow up is always an adventure.”

By the month’s end, the whole house was packing for Nezuko and Zenitsu’s wedding. It was a much smaller event than mine and Kanao’s wedding. Old Demon Slayer Corps comrades were invited, but many sent back that they couldn’t make it. I figured the other survivors didn’t know Zenitsu as well as me, but plenty of them knew Nezuko. She was very disappointed when when Giyu never replied. I began to wonder… The first yes was from Senjuro and Shinjuro Rengoku. They actually lived even farther away than Giyu, but they would never pass up a chance to see us. The only other survivor coming was Murata. The rest of the guest list was small, consisting of some friends Zenitsu had made in the village, a few of Nezuko’s childhood friends, and some of the families she used to do housework for. Nezuko and Zenitsu had actually gone to the other village two days ahead of us so they could oversee some things, and the rest of us were packing to leave the next morning.

Kanao was stuffing a huge scarf into her luggage. It was the end of April and it was very warm already. I raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you bringing that?” I asked her.

“Um, well…” she explained slowly. “I’m going to have to feed Yoriichi at some point, possibly during the ceremony.”


I hadn’t thought about that at all. “Oh. Right.”

At the moment, Yoriichi was lying in our bed looking all around the room. He could hold his head up by himself now, but still hadn’t rolled over. Aoi had told us that his milestones may not happen exactly according to the general timeline, but I still watched him intently every day. I didn’t want to miss a single one. He was starting to rock back and forth now, which meant that it was coming soon.

“All of his stuff has to be in its own bag,” Kanao sighed. “How are we going to carry all this?”

Yoriichi made a loud sound on the vowel “aaaaahhhhh,” causing both me and Kanao to laugh. I got down on the bed with him.

“That’s exactly right, kiddo,” I praised him. “‘Aaahhh,’ because it’s scary.”

He turned his head toward me and smiled. My heart slid down my chest. The next thing I knew, Kanao was on the bed, too. For the time being, we had forgotten all about packing.

“Silly Yoriichi,” she sang sweetly. “Mommy will pack your favorite toy.”

He babbled a bit more and rocked towards me. I gasped.

“Is he gonna do it?” I asked rhetorically, my excitement rising.

“Yoriichi,” Kanao continued to sing. “Where’s Daddy?”

He looked around at the ceiling, then to Kanao, then back at me.

I was giddy now. “Yoriichi, come here.”

He rocked towards me two times. On the third time, he successfully rolled over.

“YES!!!” Kanao and I cheered in unison.

We gathered him between us and wrapped him up like a sushi roll.

“Good job, sweetheart,” Kanao said.

We both kissed him on either cheek, and he giggled hysterically. I thought I might cry. I’d been crying over him a lot lately. There were still mornings when he’d wake up screaming and other difficulties, but all the other moments were precious and beautiful. I couldn’t get enough of him, nor could I believe that he was finally here. His laugh was my new favorite sound. It would be my favorite sound for the rest of my life.

Kanao and I ended up forgetting about packing for a long time that day. We waited to see if Yoriichi would roll over again. We were trying to get him to roll the other way towards Kanao. He never did, though. Eventually, he got tired and started making more babbling noises. So, Kanao and I gave up and laid on the bed with him. I had never known such peace.

“I can’t believe Nezuko is getting married tomorrow…” I mused.

“Me neither,” Kanao breathed. “Yoriichi, are you excited for Auntie Nezuko and Uncle Zenitsu to get married?”

“Uncle…?!?!” I gasped incredulously. “Wait… you’re right, though! Wow…”

“I know,” Kanao laughed.

“I’m going to be bound by the law to him. Part of me thinks that’s great because he’s my best friend and part of that makes me slightly nauseas.”

As if on cue, Yoriichi spit up. I started laughing, but Kanao was less amused.

“This will be the third time today I’ve changed him…” she grumbled. “And, speaking of which, he’s probably going to do this several times in the car tomorrow.”

“I think he’ll probably just sleep the whole ride,” I answered.

“That’s what I hope, but I just need to prepare for the worst.”

I put my finger to her lips. She gave me a puzzled look.

“What do we do when we’re overthinking?” I asked her with a smile.

She smiled back at me. “Count to ten and say the magic words.”

We recited our little mantra together. It really did make things better.

“We’re teaching this to him, too. If he turns out anything like us,” I added.

“If he turns out anything like you.”

“What makes you so sure he has nothing from you?”

“I’m sure he does. But, look at him. He was so determined to roll over. He has all of your unwavering resolve already.”

“That could mean anything.”

Kanao smiled. “We’ll see.”

As it turned out, Kanao was right about the car ride. Yoriichi fussed the entire time and cried for the last half of it. I felt bad for the poor driver. I tried to pay him extra for the trouble, but he wouldn’t let me. I insisted strongly until Kanao took my hand and manually led me away. Inosuke and Aoi got out of another car behind us. Both of them looked like they had just woken up. Inosuke was wearing one of the shirts Aoi bought for him and had left his boar hide at home.

“That was a really nice nap!” Inosuke said.

“Yes, it was,” Aoi said and stretched her arms. “We should be well-rested for the event.”

I felt my eye twitch and my death glare about to come out. And, of course, Yoriichi was perfectly calm and quiet now.

The arboretum venue was beautiful, but Nezuko and Zenitsu had arranged for so many flowers that it made my eyes itch. Inosuke and I gave Zenitsu the same kind of teasing that they gave me at my wedding. Because Kanao couldn’t walk Nezuko up to the front with Aoi, Nezuko walked up by herself. She wore a more modern wedding kimono than the kind that Kanao had. Yoriichi thankfully fell asleep during the ceremony. Kanao had been worried about him crying, but, in the end, nobody cried harder than Zenitsu. He almost couldn’t say his vows and trembled as he slipped the ring on Nezuko’s finger. However, Nezuko was patient and beamed at him with adoration. They kissed a long kiss, perhaps too excessively.

The officiant announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, Zenitsu and Nezuko Agatsuma!”

I had been teary the whole day, but that was when I really started to cry. My little sister wasn’t a Kamado anymore. It was going to take some getting used to.

At the reception, Kanao told me she was going to slip away and would be back. I knew she was going to feed Yoriichi in private somewhere. I was a bit distracted. I almost didn’t see Senjuro come up to me.

“Hey, Tanjiro! Where’s Kanao?”

“Oh, um, she went inside. She had to take care of our son.”

“That’s right! You had a baby!” Senjuro grinned. “So, it’s a boy? What’s his name?”

“His name is Yoriichi.”

“…Like the sun-breather?”

“Yep.”

“That is perfect,” Senjuro said genuinely.

He was sixteen, almost seventeen, and he looked more like his late brother Kyojuro than ever. Kanao once made a joke that Senjuro would get married young. Judging by how Nezuko’s childhood friends were eyeing him in the background, it could be true. Later, I talked briefly with Murata, who came with his girlfriend this time.

“Yeah, her name’s Miho,” he said. “We’ve been dating for a while, but her dad hates me and refuses to let me propose to her. So, I’m trying to get a minister to betroth us.”

I raised an eyebrow. “How’s that working out?”

“It could be better,” Murata answered. “Her dad has no idea we’re here.”

“Where does he think you are…?”

“To be honest, I don’t remember my lie.”

“Um, okay…” I said. “Well, I should probably officially congratulate my sister, and then make sure my wife and son are okay.”

“Wait… huh?!?!” Murata gasped. “You have a kid already?!?!”

“Yeah, I wrote to you, didn’t I? His name’s Yoriichi.”

Murata went on to spew a bunch of things about how he needed to catch up, then scanned the crowd for his girlfriend. When he found her, he rushed up to her and started babbling things I couldn’t understand. I decided to simply walk away.

Kanao finally came back with Yoriichi, who was almost asleep again, just as dinner was being served. She looked exhausted. I knew she was happy for Nezuko and Zenitsu, but she was clearly not having a good time. Right before dessert was served, I pulled her aside and asked her if she wanted to leave.

“I feel bad, but… yes…” she admitted.

“Everyone will understand if you go back to the inn,” I assured her. “I’m only going to stay for an hour more.”

“You don’t have to. It’s your sister’s wedding.”

“She’ll understand, too.”

Kanao looked at me tiredly, and then quietly went back to the inn. I whispered to Nezuko that she had left, and she nodded. Zenitsu didn’t even notice that Kanao had left early. He was so wrapped up in his new wife. Inosuke and Aoi had fun, too. They were even kissing out of sight. I accidentally walked in on them and didn’t say anything. No one dared to bring it up, for fear of Aoi’s wrath, but we all knew they were next. Zenitsu and Nezuko were going to stay at the inn for another whole week while the rest of us were going home the next day. Aoi and Inosuke were thinking about making a pit stop somewhere else for a night just so that Kanao and I could have time to settle Yoriichi back in.

After an hour, as promised, I politely slipped away and found Kanao back at the inn. She was half-asleep already, and Yoriichi was completely out. I gently kissed her cheek to tell her I was back.

“Hey, there,” I whispered.

“I feel really bad.”

“Please, don’t.” I laid down next to her. “Want me to take him?”

She had been holding him all day. I was glad to have him back. She yawned. She worked so hard. It was amazing and inspiring. She pushed me to work harder. I cradled Yoriichi against my body with my good arm. He had grown so much in just four months. He made sounds in his sleep, much like Kanao hummed. He had much more from her than she thought he did.

“How did I end up with the two of you in my life?” I mused to myself.

“It was always your fate,” Kanao replied sleepily. “Your destiny.”

I wasn’t expecting Kanao to answer. I thought she was fast asleep by now. And, there was that word again, “destiny.” I looked at Yoriichi sleeping. I didn’t wish a grand journey on my son. I wanted him to have a normal life. I hoped that he would grow up to see the significance behind his name, but know he didn’t have to live up to high expectations. I looked at Kanao. She was sound asleep. I was drifting, too. I looked at my new family one more time before I was out. There were many people to call family now. I allowed myself to think about Nezuko and Zenitsu and Inosuke and Aoi having families for just one second. We were going to get big. That was all right, though, as long as we had each other.

Chapter Text

They Want Me to Look to You

In two more months, Yoriichi could sit up. I had to adjust his clothes or make him new ones all the time because he just kept growing. It made me smile, but was tiring to keep up. Tanjiro was getting used to being back at work again, but he still felt bad about leaving me behind all day. At this point, I was mostly fine by myself, though. Zenitsu finally secured his own office in the village and did all his writing there. It was better for us all that way. Zenitsu had less distractions and I had more space to take care of my baby. Other than myself, Inosuke was the only one still home, but he hardly talked to me. When he did, he was always fascinated with Yoriichi. He was actually very gentle with him, and he liked watching him play and move around. The only downside was, when Aoi wasn’t with him, he had no filter.

“So… you feed him with your boobs?” he asked me randomly one day.

“Um, yes,” I answered shyly.

“How?”

“You should ask Aoi these questions,” I suggested nervously. “She’s a doctor, and she’ll explain it to you.”

“No, I mean, like… can you show me?”

I was starting to sweat with anxiety. I had to find a way to redirect his attention.

“Actually, Inosuke, I’m very curious about what you’ve been building.”

“Ooh, ooh! I made a new wheel for the wagon!” he boasted. “But, the shed is a secret!”

“Understood,” I replied.

Inosuke started twiddling his thumbs nervously, then he suddenly changed his mind.

“Okay, I’ll tell you! I don’t trust the others! Zenitsu can’t shut up, and Tanjiro’s face will explode if he lies! And, ya know, Nezuko works with Aoi, so I can’t trust her, either! I’ll tell you as long as you promise not tell anyone else!”

“All right,” I said slowly, a little puzzled.

“I’m making something for Aoi! But, I won’t say what! And, I can’t do it right yet, which is really annoying!”

“Well, keep at it! Once it’s finished, I’m sure Aoi will love it!”

“Yeah, me too!”

Yoriichi made a loud “baaabbaaabbbaaa” noise as he rolled over on his mat. Inosuke spun around and stared at him, wide-eyed.

“Wha… what is he saying?”

“Inosuke, he’s six months old,” I laughed. “He won’t talk for a while.”

“Oh, gotcha.”

After that, Inosuke popped his boar hide off so he could scratch his head. Yoriichi made a shocked face and started crying.

“Oh, god! What happened?!?!” Inosuke panicked.

I picked up Yoriichi and patted his back, gently shushing him.

“It’s okay, Inosuke,” I assured him. “He’s not used to seeing your real face. When babies see something new, it’s natural if they start to cry or have another reaction.”

“Oh… okay…”

“But, he’s very smart,” I explained. “He knows all our voices already. And, he likes when you smile and talk to him. That’s how babies grow. You have to interact with them.”

“I was raised by wild boars!”

“But, look at you. You turned out well!”

Inosuke didn’t know how to reply, so he said, “I’m going to go back to the shed now!”

“All right.”

Inosuke went outside, and Yoriichi stopped crying. He continued fussing, though, so I figured he was hungry... again. That was why he was growing so quickly. Aoi said it wasn’t abnormal. I wondered if he was going to grow up to have a huge appetite. There were already so many predictions in my head. It was amazing to see him now and know that one day he’d grow up to be a full person. I thought about how my biological parents never saw me grow up. It felt strange to think about how they had no idea they had a grandson. But, they didn’t deserve either of those honors. I was going to tell Yoriichi that I was adopted by two sisters and never knew my real family. One day, I’d tell him the truth, but as a child, he didn’t need to know that. I took him into my room.

I loved being a mother. Tanjiro loved being a father. Even the hard days were worth it. I was impressed by how well everyone else in the family adjusted to having a baby in the house. Nezuko adored Yoriichi. She was going to be a great mother herself, but Zenitsu was adamant about waiting. In a few years, Tanjiro and I wanted to give Yoriichi a sibling. It was still far away, but the thought of a house with lots of children laughing made me so happy.

Tanjiro and I were back to making love again. He confessed that he figured out my cycle based on my scent. We were going to be careful and time it more accurately from now on. The first time we tried after Yoriichi’s birth was a little difficult. Since then, Tanjiro had been even more gentle, and now we were back to our normal selves. Whenever we wanted romantic time, we left Yoriichi with Nezuko for a while. There was something different about making love after already having a child. It was more tender, probably because we knew what could result from it. We’d glow for a moment and then Tanjiro would throw a robe on and pick up Yoriichi. He had a hard time being parted from him. Yoriichi was bigger now and fit between us more comfortably. The three of us were always warm at night, and Yoriichi didn’t cry at random hours as frequently anymore.

After retrieving our son, we laid in silence for a while more. Tanjiro was lying flat on his back, his index finger in Yoriichi’s tiny grip. He had a huge grin on his face.

“Do you think I can fall asleep like this? I mean, my arm’s at an awkward angle.”

I chuckled. “Maybe.”

“He’s strong,” Tanjiro continued. “He’s gripping me pretty hard right now, and he’s not letting go.”

“He can be a mover when he sleeps, though,” I said.

“That’s true. Hopefully he grows out of that.”

“He might.”

Yoriichi wriggled in his sleep, but he didn’t let go of Tanjiro’s finger. He loved his father. Somehow, I knew I’d always be secondary.

In July, Tanjiro got to celebrate his birthday with his son for the first time. Normally, he didn’t like it when we threw him parties, but he was willing to let this year be an exception. He was more excited about Yoriichi than himself. He wanted to throw a party so that Yoriichi could experience it.

“Yoriichi has a birthday, too,” I said.

“Yeah, in December. I can’t wait that long,” he replied with a smile. “Also, it’s warm and we can bring him outside.”

“If you say so,” I smiled back. “But, if you’re actually having a party, I’m getting you a present. Because, it’s your birthday.”

“Sure, but make it small.”

The Sunday before his birthday, I went shopping with Nezuko. Tanjiro got to have his son to himself for the entire afternoon. I had secretly told everyone to get him a present. It wasn’t just because I wanted to make fun of my husband, although I was enjoying it. I also felt like Tanjiro deserved it. So, Nezuko and I were buying presents. They were going to be small gifts anyway, as we were trying to save money. We were finally saving for a telephone, because we desperately needed one, and we were all pitching in. Nezuko and I were having a fun time talking.

“No, not at all! I don’t mind taking Yoriichi when you and Tanjiro need privacy,” Nezuko laughed. “I love my little nephew! And, Zenitsu uses that as an opportunity to go take a bath, so don’t worry about him, either.”

“Yes, and if you ever need your privacy with Zenitsu, we can figure something else out,” I replied. “Now that you two are married.”

“Heh. About that…” Nezuko giggled suddenly. “Um, Zenitsu and I kind of… broke the rules. When I moved into his room before our wedding, we only told Tanjiro we were in separate beds. We, um, weren’t. Our wedding night was not our first time. Don’t tell Tanjiro.”

I started laughing. I had thought something was suspicious about that from the beginning.

“Okay, I won’t.”

“How long do you think it’s going to take for Inosuke and Aoi?”

“I think Inosuke has some things to figure out,” I replied. “But, it will happen.”

There was one thing that I didn’t like about Tanjiro’s birthday, however. That, of course, was the fact that every birthday brought him closer to dying. In a few days, he’d be twenty. Then, he only had five years left. I always had had trouble keeping his curse out of my mind, but things had changed since Yoriichi was born. Tanjiro wasn’t going to be able to see his son grow up. I knew that was the reason Tanjiro didn’t like being away from Yoriichi for too long. He was well aware. But, for both their sakes, I was praying to the gods a little harder now. It wasn’t for me. I just wanted the two of them to have more time together. Five years was a long time. But, Yoriichi would only be five or six. How much of his father would he remember as he grew up? It was that thought in particular that saddened me. Maybe it was time we all stopped avoiding talking about it. Tanjiro was lying to himself whenever he said he wasn’t afraid. Lying to himself didn’t give him a physical reaction, so it was hard to tell. He had never lied to himself before. I knew he was genuine when he said he accepted it, but I knew the truth about his fear. And, Yoriichi’s birth had altered his feelings, as well. I could still see the small details in his face, his eyes, and his posture even with sixty percent of vision and only one eye. Sometimes it seemed he forgot that I still had heightened sight with what I had left. I could read how he really felt. And, I saw him most clearly with my heart. He could lie to himself, but he could never get past me.

I had to bury the thought so I could still enjoy my excursion with Nezuko. We couldn’t be out too long, although Tanjiro was probably having a wonderful time with Yoriichi all to himself. I wasn’t fond of being away from my baby, either. Nezuko found a store she liked and I put my smile back on my face. She was having a glorious time reintroducing herself to anyone who saw her.

The shop owner called out, “It’s Nezuko Kamado!”

“No, it’s not!” she grinned. “It’s Nezuko Agatsuma!”

When we returned home from shopping, we hid the presents in the storage closet, then went through the front door. When we got back to the house, we found Tanjiro on the floor with Yoriichi. Yoriichi was sitting up by himself now, and Tanjiro had one of his toys in his hand. It was his favorite crocheted rabbit, and Tanjiro was making it talk. Yoriichi couldn’t stop laughing. I smiled, genuinely now. Nezuko clutched her heart, so moved.

“Hey, Yoriichi, what sound does a rabbit make?” Tanjiro asked rhetorically.

Yoriichi made some unintelligible noises and giggles and clapped.

“That’s right!”

“Brother, that’s so cute!” Nezuko squealed. “You’re gonna kill me!”

Tanjiro put the toy down, scooped up Yoriichi, and stood up. Nothing could have turned his smile upside down.

“How was shopping?” he asked.

“It was good, but you’re clearly having a lot more fun than we were!” Nezuko laughed.

“I was having fun,” Tanjiro laughed, and bounced Yoriichi once. “Did you have fun, too, kiddo?”

Yoriichi made a few happy noises and smiled. Tanjiro looked at him with so much love. I felt my heart slowly start to burst. I blinked several times so I wouldn’t cry.

“I think he had fun, too,” Tanjiro answered for Yoriichi.

“That’s great!” Nezuko exclaimed. “Now, where’s my husband, and Inosuke, and future Mrs. Hashibira?”

“Okay,” I chuckled, putting my hand on Nezuko’s shoulder. “Let’s not get ahead of things.”

“Yes, and if Aoi heard you say that, her reaction wouldn’t be pretty,” Tanjiro added, but with a laugh. “Anyway, they’re not here. I don’t know where they are. Yoriichi and I were taking a nap, and I woke up and they had all left.”

“Zenitsu probably went to his office to write,” I suggested. “As for Inosuke and Aoi, who knows?”

Tanjiro walked over to us and handed Yoriichi off to me. Yoriichi looked at me with his big red eyes and put his fingers in his mouth.

“Do you know where they are, Yoriichi?" I asked him playfully.

He made a spitting noise and Tanjiro and Nezuko laughed.

“Well, I’m going out to the garden,” Nezuko announced. “I have to plant the new flowers.”

“Just make sure Kaburamaru isn’t in his burrow when you start digging,” I said.

“Of course, I could never forget!”

Tanjiro turned to me and asked, “Remember our newlyweds phase?”

“Yes,” I answered with a smile. “And, now we’re parents. It’s been a lot in a short time, but have we ever been unhappy?”

“Nope.”

He put his arm around me and held me close, then we kissed. It was true, though. I could't think of any time we hadn't been happy together.

“Want to bring him outside?” suggested Tanjiro suddenly.

“What for?”

“He hasn’t met his family yet.”

I thought for a minute. “You’re right.”

I had always thought that nature made the flowers over the gravesite red on purpose, as if it knew. Red, for the color of the Kamado family’s eyes and hair, for their profession of burning charcoal and the fire that was needed for it, for the blood that was shed, for the way they were avenged, and for the sun. It was too perfect to have been an accident. Tanjiro and I stood in front of them now with his arm around my waist. I held Yoriichi in my arms. He was very alert, and looking at the flowers intently. It was like he knew it as well, and I truly believed he did.

“Look, Yoriichi,” Tanjiro said quietly. “This is your family. These are your other aunt and uncles, and your grandparents. This is where you’ll find them. You won’t be able to see them or talk to them, but they’re always here if you need their help. Can you say hi?”

Yoriichi burbled. I took his tiny hand in mine and made a waving motion with it.

“Father, Mother, Takeo, Hanako, Shigeru, Rokuta, this is my son, Yoriichi,” Tanjiro went on. “Please guide him and protect him.”

A warm breeze blew leisurely through, so we knew they were listening. I leaned my head on Tanjiro’s shoulder. I could hear his breathing become heavier.

“Takeo would be close to seventeen, Hanako would be fifteen, Shigeru would be almost twelve, and Rokuta would be nine,” Tanjiro said, after we’d been standing in silence for a while. “I can’t believe how long it’s been. I can’t help but think about how they would’ve grown up. I can picture in my head what they would have looked like very clearly. I still remember each of their faces, they way they looked before I lost them all.”

“It’s okay to cry, Tanjiro,” I whispered.

“No, I’ve cried enough,” he answered. “This isn’t about me today. This is about the future and our son. I set out on a journey to avenge them, and now I know that it was worth it. You and Yoriichi made it worth it. All of my family that was lost lives in us now. I know they’re smiling, Kanao. They’re finally at peace. They don’t want me to cry for them anymore. They want me to look to you, and him.”

Yoriichi looked up at Tanjiro. Tanjiro smiled back at him.

“Here,” he said. “Let’s put him down.”

“On the ground?”

“Among the flowers.”

I placed Yoriichi in the middle of the flower bed. He wasn’t crawling yet, so he wouldn’t go anywhere. He sat up, though, and looked around. Both Tanjiro and I were on our knees now, watching him. He reached out and started playing with a flower. After a few minutes of toying with it, he looked back at us. It wasn’t a look like he wanted us to pick him up again. It was like he was waiting for us to say more.

“Yeah, kiddo, that’s a flower,” Tanjiro explained with a smile. “Can you smell it?”

“Do you have a nose like Daddy?” I added.

It was all just playing, of course. Yoriichi looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful day. The sky was a deep blue, and the clouds were light and fluffy. The sun was currently behind a tree, so there was no glare in our eyes.

“Do you see the clouds?” Tanjiro called to him. “They look soft!”

Yoriichi put his hands down on the ground. He looked at the grass and dirt very carefully. He didn’t move much. He just wanted to feel the earth, as if he knew there was something under it. He was already so curious, so intuitive. I wondered if he had my sight. We wouldn’t know for certain until he was older, but I had my hunches now.

“Tanjiro, let’s go in,” I suggested. “It will be time to eat soon.”

“You’re right,” he said. “I’ll get him.”

He picked up Yoriichi and we went back inside. I felt the breeze on the back of my neck again. Yoriichi was starting to fall asleep in Tanjiro’s embrace. I often got tired after visiting the flowerbed, too. It wasn’t a heavy, drained tiredness. It was peaceful.

A few days later, Tanjiro turned twenty. He protested jokingly to the presents we got him, as well as the fancy meal. Nezuko had switched with Zenitsu that week so that she could cook everything herself. Tanjiro playfully complained when we sang “Happy Birthday” to him, but he hugged and thanked everyone, then pecked me on the lips. The real kissing was for later. During the entire dinner and dessert party afterward, Tanjiro sat with Yoriichi in his lap. He’d lean down and look at him with a big smile with every present he opened. Yoriichi smiled back at him, as if the two of them were in sync.

“What do you think this one is, Yoriichi?” Tanjiro asked him.

It wasn’t about him at all. It was just about his new life.

The love we made that night was incredible. We could barely speak afterward. The only thing we could do was kiss. He gave us a long time to ourselves before taking Yoriichi back from Nezuko. I had wanted more, but she could only take him for so long. Once Tanjiro was back in bed, he just kept Yoriichi on his chest.

“Can you put him in the middle so I can hold him, too?” I asked.

“Oh, of course.”

They even fell asleep at the same time. I smiled at both of them and was astonished over how much Yoriichi looked like his father. From the beginning, I had always hoped that he would. I had one reason for that. One day, Tanjiro would leave this world. I wanted Yoriichi to grow up knowing that all he’d have to do was look in the mirror and his father would be right there.

Chapter Text

Lord Boar and Lady Blue

December fifth, Yoriichi’s first birthday, came five months later. Tanjiro insisted we have an even bigger party. It was unlike him, but he was so happy. Nezuko threw the entire party with joy. By that time, Yoriichi was sitting, crawling, and almost talking. He laughed the whole time we were singing to him, and he was able to eat solid food. He kept making the sound “daaa” most of the day. Tanjiro was convinced his first word would be “dada.” It was another month before Yoriichi finally got the word out. It happened at dinner, and Tanjiro nearly choked with surprise. Then, he exploded into tears of joy. Nezuko cried, too. Yoriichi said “mama” a few weeks later. It was a wonderful, happy time for all of us. Nezuko and Zenitsu were happy, and Inosuke and Aoi were happy. There were still no sign of any advance with them. However, there was a particular day when Aoi, Nezuko, and I went downtown, and Aoi introduced herself to someone who didn’t know her.

“I’m Aoi Hashi… I mean, Aoi Kanzaki,” she stammered and blushed.

Nezuko and I glanced at each other and tried not to smile.

Zenitsu was significantly happier now that he owned a writing space. He had published some more poems and written more songs. He even sold some of them to professional singers. He still hadn’t finished his memoir, but he talked more openly about it. The months were going by with laughter, peace, and happiness. Tanjiro and I watched our son grow more and more every day. He started walking not long after he started talking. It was incredible and beautiful. All of us continued to change, but it seemed like it was all for the better.

So, before we all knew it, it was February again. Yoriichi was fourteen months old, but he was already becoming proficient at talking. He knew so many words for his age. It was amazing how smart he was. Tanjiro and I made jokes about it often.

“You know we’re in for something,” I laughed in bed one night.

“Yeah, we’re in for an earful,” he laughed back.

“Mama, mama,” Yoriichi babbled. “Dabo.”

“What is ‘dabo?’” Tanjiro asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I think he means ‘dango,’” I answered.

“Who gave him dango?!?!”

“I don’t think anyone gave him dango, I thinks he just knows it’s food,” I explained. “I remember that Zenitsu brought some home the other day. Yoriichi was very mesmerized with it.”

“No dango yet, kiddo,” Tanjiro said jokingly.

“Dabo yum.”

“Okay… if Zenitsu gave him dango, I will be upset.”

I giggled. “You’re right, Yoriichi. Dango is yum.”

“Kanao! Don’t encourage him!”

Yoriichi started giggling, too, as if he knew he was teasing his dad. I was certain that he was perfectly aware of what he was doing. Maybe we were in a for an adventure as he got older. No matter what happened, I was so excited to see him grow.

That month, we finally got a telephone. We had been saving for it for months. We placed it in the living room, then stood back and marveled at it. Inosuke and Yoriichi were especially fascinated with it.

“Yoriichi,” said Tanjiro while holding him. “Can you say, ‘telephone?’”

“Tepho,” Yoriichi replied.

“Good, kiddo, good.”

“What exactly does this thing do again?” Inosuke blurted out.

“Dear,” Aoi sighed. “I’ve told you three times.”

“Yeah, but you used fancy words.”

“You put in a number, and you talk to people far away.”

“But, how?”

Aoi put her hand to her mouth and mumbled a few things.

“Here’s an idea, Inosuke,” Nezuko cheerfully interjected. “Zenitsu has a telephone at his office. How about tomorrow, when the rest of us are home, he can call from his office and we’ll all get to see how it works!”

“Oooooh,” Inosuke mused.

“Tepho,” yammered Yoriichi again. “Tepho, tepho, tepho…”

“Te-le-phone,” Tanjiro sounded it out for him.

“Telphono," Yoriichi said.

Nezuko gasped. “Oh, Yoriichi, honey! You’re so smart!”

I walked over to Tanjiro and leaned in towards Yoriichi. Yoriichi looked at me curiously.

“Mama,” he said.

“Do you like the telephone, sweetheart?” I asked with a smile.

“I like telphono,” he answered.

“Hey, kid!” Inosuke suddenly piped up. “What’s my name?”

“Inso,” Yoriichi answered.

“That’s awesome!” Inosuke cheered. “Good job, kid!”

“Ino…SUKE!” Aoi barked.

“Inosoki,” Yoriichi said.

Now all our mouths were open. Tanjiro and I looked at each other, amazed and so proud. Yoriichi squirmed in Tanjiro’s arms and moved his feet, so Tanjiro put him down. He tottered off into the kitchen.

“Yoriichi, what are you doing?” Tanjiro called after him.

“Dabo,” Yoriichi answered, and tried to reach the refrigerator.

“Okay, who gave him dango?” demanded Tanjiro. “He’s too young for sweets!”

“Says who?” Zenitsu asked.

“Now I know it was you!”

Tanjiro and Zenitsu continued to bicker while I calmly picked Yoriichi back up. When I carried him away, he started to fuss and cry.

“Sweetheart,” I shushed him gently. “There will be plenty of dango in the future.”

Of course, he wouldn’t understand that, and he wasn’t listening to anything, anyway. I ran my hand over his hair and he fussed even more. In the background, I could hear Aoi start to explain to Zenitsu the factual reason about why you shouldn’t give dessert to an infant. I sighed in amusement and decided it was time to put Yoriichi down for a nap. While he napped, I could work on my sewing. He was still crying when I laid him on the bed, so I put his favorite toy, his crochet rabbit, in his hands.

“Look, Yoriichi, it’s Usagi,” I said to him sweetly.

He paused for a minute, then he hugged the rabbit. He gradually started to calm down. I laid down next to him for just a moment, and thought of a lullaby that Nezuko had once taught me. I leaned close to Yoriichi and started to sing.

Hush, hush, baby rabbit up there on the hill.
Why is it that your eyes are so very red, my little rabbit?
You see, long before I was ever born,
My mother ate the red fruit of a tree,
And, that’s why my eyes are red
Because of the fruit from that tree.

The song also had several other verses, such as one that asked why the rabbit’s ears were long, but I only sang this verse to Yoriichi. That was because his eyes were red. Now he had settled down and had his rabbit in one hand. His other hand was in his mouth. I knew that once he started sucking his thumb, he would go right to sleep. I gently kissed his cheek, the way Tanjiro always did to me.

“Mommy loves you, Yoriichi,” I whispered to him. “And, Daddy loves you, too.”

Now, he was asleep. I went and retrieved my sewing project. Even while he was asleep, I was afraid to be far from him. As I was sewing, I looked at him sleeping peacefully. He was large for fourteen months. I had a feeling that he’d grow up to be tall. But, Tanjiro wasn’t very tall. He had grown a lot since I first met him, but he was average height as an adult. Tanjiro had told me he was around the same height now as his father was. If Yoriichi grew up to be tall, it would have to be from my side of the family. I tried not to think about my parents, but I had a faint memory that my father was tall. Another reason I had wanted Yoriichi to look like Tanjiro was because I didn’t want to him to have the face of an abusive person. I had voiced that to Tanjiro while I was pregnant. He had looked at me in surprise before answering me.

“Except he wouldn’t have the face of your parents. He’d have the face of his mother.”

Still, I prayed to the gods and they answered. They granted me one wish, maybe they’d grant my other. I knew it was just false hope, but I continued to do it, anyway…

As promised, Zenitsu called our new telephone from his office the next day and Inosuke found out first-hand how it worked. He wasn’t wearing his boar hide when it happened, so we all saw his priceless reaction. It was actually kind of adorable. Aoi didn’t even try to hide it. Inosuke insisted that we give the telephone a name, because it was “practically another human.” Nobody was into it, except Nezuko, so she and Inosuke named it “Hiroshi.” It snowed the day after that. Because it had finally warmed a little, Tanjiro and I took Yoriichi out on a wintry walk in the woods so he could see the snow.

“What color is the snow, kiddo?” Tanjiro asked.

“Wawu,” Yoriichi responded.

“Good job, sweetheart,” I praised him.

“Hey, Kanao,” Tanjiro said. “Should we take him to the spot with the two trees?”

“What two trees?”

“You know, where I proposed to you.”

I smiled. “Yes, definitely.”

We reached the spot and stood there, admiring the scenery. We all had pink cheeks. My husband turned towards me.

“Sometimes I wish I had gotten you a nicer ring,” he said.

“Stop that,” I replied. “I would’ve said yes even if you proposed with nothing.”

He smiled, then looked down at our son in my arms.

“Hey, Yoriichi. I asked Mommy to marry me here. She said yes and now we have you.”

“Mama?” Yoriichi burbled.

“That’s right!”

Yoriichi looked up at me now. He didn’t know the word “why” yet, but I knew when he wanted us to say more.

“I married Daddy because I love him,” I said. “I’ve always loved him.”

“Did you love me when you jumped me from behind and kicked me in the back?” Tanjiro teased.

I laughed. “No, not then. I know exactly when it happened. I have been in love with you ever since you flipped my coin.”

“Do you still have it?”

“Of course, I do. You never know when you might need it.”

I fished it out of my pocket and held it in the palm of my hand, then showed it to Tanjiro. Yoriichi saw it and started reaching for it.

“Yes, Yoriichi,” I said. “This is Mommy’s coin.”

I held the coin just out of his reach. I knew he was going to put it in his mouth. The coin reflected the sunlight. Yoriichi was fascinated. Tanjiro stepped closer to us.

“Who knew this little coin would take us so far?” he whispered.

“Was it just by chance?” I whispered back.

“It was destiny.”

Our destiny was aggressively trying to wriggle out of my arms and get his little hands on the coin. I put it back in my pocket and Yoriichi started fussing.

“One day, you can hold it, sweetheart,” I said. “Maybe, I’ll even give it to you.”

“We should go back,” Tanjiro decided. “I’m getting cold now.”

“Not yet,” I said.

I reached up and put one hand on his face and we kissed. It was practically obligatory. We would never be able to come to this spot without kissing. Yoriichi stopped fussing, placated from being pressed between us.

“Mama, Mama,” he piped up again after a while.

“Yes, we can go in now,” I told him.

We walked back to the house, and I thought about how that place between the two trees would look beautiful no matter the season, no matter the time of day. It would always be a place where time stood still for me. Maybe, someday in the future, somebody else would be proposed to there as well.

About a week later, there was such a heavy snow that it was impossible to go down the mountain. Tanjiro couldn’t go to work. All the councilmen understood, but he felt guilty about it. He started moping as soon as he woke up.

“It’s okay,” I reassured him. “Mr. Suzuki recovered and is back now. They’ll make it.”

“But, I’m not sick…” he droned with his head planted downward into his hand. “I can’t take a sick day if I’m not sick… Ugh, this feels so wrong…”

“We are literally snowed in, Tanjiro,” I chuckled.

I caressed his gorgeous hair. I was still disappointed that Yoriichi got my texture.

Zenitsu couldn’t go into the village to his office, either. So, the seven of us were all home together. I thought it was cozy, but there was a bit of tension hanging over us, too. We weren’t all home together at the same time that often anymore. At the moment, we were in the living room, minding our own business. Zenitsu laid on the couch, peacefully napping, while Nezuko read a book on the floor by his head. Tanjiro had stopped moping and was playing with Yoriichi on the floor, and I sat in one of the chairs with my sewing. Aoi was cleaning. I used to offer to help her, but she liked doing it herself. She also made a point of mentioning that nobody else did it right. I just let her continue. She really didn’t mind. Aoi was meticulously putting the dishes back when she looked up and around curiously.

“Where’s Inosuke?”

“You can’t keep track of your own boyfriend?” Zenitsu talked in his sleep.

A small shiver ran down my spine. He really could hear everything.

“He’s not even in the house,” Aoi went on, mostly to herself. “It’s too quiet. But, where on earth could he be?”

“Maybe he’s still in the shed,” Nezuko offered nonchalantly. “I’m pretty sure that’s where he was last night.”

“What?!?! He spent all night in the shed?!?!” Aoi exclaimed frantically. “He didn’t come for breakfast, either. I assumed he was sleeping late again! Is he really still in the shed?!?! How’s he going to get out with this snow?!?!”

“Aoi, relax,” I said. “At least, he’s still on the property.”

She was actually very concerned, not just annoyed like usual. She paced back and forth.

“That shed has no heat! He must be freezing to death!” she fretted. “Or, since he hasn’t eaten, starving to death! I’m grabbing a shovel and digging him out. Did he sleep in the shed or was he up all night? What the hell is he doing in there?!?! I’ll dig him out and then bop him on the head with this shovel when I’m done!”

We all watched as Aoi marched over to the door to the storage room to grab a coat and a shovel. Then, the front door flew open. Snow and cold wind spiraled into the house, and all of us jumped. Inosuke stood in the doorway. He was shirtless, as usual, his skin pink from the cold. He held his boar hide in one hand, and he had bags under his eyes. He had been up all night, doing whatever it was in the shed.

“Where have you been?!?!” Aoi exclaimed. “Don’t worry me like that!”

“I was just in the shed,” Inosuke answered. “I was making something.”

His voice was calm. I had never heard him speak that way before.

“Making something?” Aoi asked, her eyebrow raised. “You mean the wagon?”

“No, I already finished that. I was making something for you, but I kept failing at it.”

“Making something… for me?”

Aoi relaxed again. All of us were watching the two of them carefully. I remembered how Inosuke had told me that he was making something for Aoi. I had promised I wouldn’t tell, and I never did. I had forgotten about it until now, a year later. Nezuko tugged on Zenitsu’s sleeve, and he slowly woke up and rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah, so…” Inosuke went on. “I once asked Tanjiro and Zenitsu how much these things cost, and there was no way I’d ever be able to buy one. So, I thought, ‘there’s trees and rocks all over the place here. I’m just going to make it myself!’ Well, it wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t going to ask for help, because this is something I did for you! It took a million tries to get the circular part right, but I finally nailed it! The rock part is hacked off from this cool-looking rock I found in the river last summer.”

“Circular part? Rock part?” Aoi put her hands on her hips and looked extremely puzzled. “Inosuke, what the hell are you talking about?”

Inosuke calmly walked over to her, dug something out of his pants pocket, and placed it in the palm of her hand. She stared at it for a minute, unblinking. Her expression was more than just disbelief. She was questioning if whatever was in her hand was actually real or not. Tanjiro picked up Yoriichi, and then all of us were slowly inching closer to Aoi and Inosuke, even half-asleep Zenitsu. I stood on my toes to get a better look. Then, all of us made the same face as Aoi.

In her palm was a ring. The band was wood and the rock on top of it, was, like Inosuke said, literally a rock. But, it wasn’t crudely made. The wood of the ring had been smoothed and lacquered. The rock was polished and rounded. It was set in the wood of the ring. It was expertly crafted, and it was beautiful. It would clearly stand the test of time. That was exactly what it was meant for, too.

Aoi looked up at Inosuke, still holding the ring in her palm. She was waiting for him to keep talking. She probably had no idea what to say herself.

“Um, you’re supposed to put that on your finger,” Inosuke said. “You know, like Kanao and Nezuko.”

Aoi continued to blink at him. Nezuko leaned in toward Inosuke and whispered in his ear. Inosuke listened carefully, then nodded several times. He stood up straighter and took a prouder stance. He cleared his throat.

“Aoi, I’m giving you that ring because I want you to do that marriage thing with me!” he declared triumphantly. “I only know what marriage is like from watching Tanjiro and Zenitsu do it and that one fairy tale book we read together, but I think I can do it, too! So… whaddya say?”

The room was quiet except for Yoriichi babbling unintelligible sounds. The way the other four of us were watching and standing right there, not even five feet away from them, was rather rude, but we were glued in place. Even Tanjiro, the politeness police, couldn’t stop staring. We looked back and forth between Aoi and Inosuke. Their eyes were locked on each other, and it was as if Aoi had completely forgotten we were there. Then, she extended her hand with the ring in it back towards Inosuke, and we all froze. Was she rejecting him? She couldn’t…

“You’re the one who’s supposed to put it on my finger, dear,” Aoi breathed with a smile. “Yes, Inosuke. I will marry you.”

“REALLY?!?!” Inosuke shouted happily.

“Yes, really.”

Inosuke started pounding his feet in excitement. He made a bunch of happy noises, but no actual words came out. He pulled Aoi in close and she squealed with delight. With one swoop, he lifted her high into the air and went to kiss her, but she stopped him by putting two fingers to his lips. He froze.

“But, this means you have to wear a shirt more often!” Aoi instructed him.

Inosuke paused, thinking. “Only if you tell me that you like my ripped abs right now!”

“I love your body, dear.”

“OKAY!” Inosuke agreed.

They kissed happily. The rest of us cheered and clapped, but Zenitsu blinked tiredly and twisted a finger in his ear.

“Honey,” he said to Nezuko. “I’m having the strangest dream right now. Inosuke and Aoi just got engaged. Please, wake me up, this is kind of unsettling.”

“You’re not dreaming, sweetie!” Nezuko explained. “That really just happened!”

Zenitsu stared into space sleepily. Then, he started to wake up and realize what was going on. First, he looked puzzled, then his eyes became huge. He started flailing his arms wildly.

“WHAT?!?! YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT WAS REAL?!?! INOSUKE AND AOI ARE ACTUALLY GETTING MARRIED?!?! WHAT?!?! WHAT?!?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!”

"Zenitsu, quiet!” Tanjiro scolded. “You’re going to scare Yoriichi!”

“Huh?!?!” Zenitsu retorted. “Look at him, he’s fine!”

Yoriichi had his fingers in his mouth and looked at his uncle curiously.

“He’s judging you,” Tanjiro said flatly.

“Noooo, Yoriichi doesn’t judge anyone!” Nezuko interjected playfully. “Right, Yoriichi? I know you love Uncle Zenitsu!”

Yoriichi made a spitting noise and Tanjiro tried very hard not to chuckle. I went over to join them. Meanwhile, Inosuke and Aoi were still kissing deeply, but we had our backs to them now. I put my hand on Tanjiro’s shoulder. He turned towards me.

“Do you want him?” he asked.

“Yes, please.”

He passed Yoriichi to me. The five of us stood there for a minute and just looked at each other knowingly. It was about time for Aoi and Inosuke. We all knew it would happen. And, making a ring from scratch was so signature for Inosuke. I couldn’t help but find it both genius and hilarious. Yoriichi suddenly let out a big yawn and started to fall asleep in my arms.

“Why don’t we all lie down?” Tanjiro suggested.

“That sounds great!” Nezuko agreed.

“Yeah, because Inosuke and Aoi are weirding me out,” added Zenitsu.

“Oh, stop, sweetie,” said Nezuko, and patted his head playfully.

So, we went off to our rooms, while a very happy boar danced in the background.

Chapter Text

I Can't Have Both

The very next day, I still had to call in sick because of the snow. It just felt wrong. Kanao was just glad I had an extra day to help with Yoriichi. However, I had to help shovel snow with Zenitsu and Inosuke, too. I was strong enough to shovel with one arm, although I lagged behind them. That frustrated me. I hated feeling useless. I knew nobody thought that, but I couldn’t get rid of the feeling. At least it gave us some time to just act like guys.

“It’s so freakin’ cold!” Zenitsu complained. “How many more days until we can get down the mountain? I’m going to get cabin fever!”

“The snow will be less dangerous in a day or two,” I answered. “I’m also starting to get cabin fever.”

“Well, at least Nezuko and I can be cuddly!” Zenitsu switched to giggling.

“Oh, yeah!” Inosuke suddenly piped up. “Now that I’m gonna marry Aoi, I gotta ask you guys something!”

“Sure, anything,” I said.

“So, um, I need to know how you do that thing.”

Zenitsu and I looked at each other, then back at Inosuke.

“What thing?” I asked for clarification.

“That thing married people do,” continued Inosuke. “You guys told me about it. It makes a baby sometimes.”

I took an incredulous deep breath. Zenitsu made an incredulous face. This was not what I expected to talk about while shoveling snow.

“Um, Inosuke, we can explain it again if you want,” I started slowly. “But, can we do that later, when we’re not trying to work?”

“I remember what you guys said, and then Aoi read me a book. But, can one of you actually show me?”

“WHAT?!?!” Zenitsu shrieked. “HELL, NO! That’s something you only do in private!”

“Yeah, but, if you guys don’t show me, who will?”

“NOBODY will EVER show you that, you idiot!” Zenitsu threw his shovel down in rage. “You want visuals? There’s plenty of dirty magazines out there for you to look at!”

“What’s a magazine?”

Zenitsu stormed off somewhere else to go pop a vein, leaving me to deal with Inosuke by myself. I let out a sigh.

“A magazine is like a small book with lots of pictures, but they’re real pictures instead of drawings. When Zenitsu cools off, he’ll tell you where to find them.”

I couldn’t believe I was actually talking about this with him. Inosuke just stood there. He was listening patiently, but even with his boar hide on, I could tell he wasn’t getting it.

“The pictures...” I went on, red in the face with embarrassment. “Are helpful... or at least Zenitsu thinks they will be helpful... because he thinks they're more... accurate. And, the magazine will describe things in easier words...”

“But, what are the pictures of?”

Zenitsu came plodding back and yanked Inosuke by his boar hide’s ear.

“You piss me off so much sometimes, you frickin’ boar…” he growled. “I can’t believe I still have to do this to you, but I will… because you’re never gonna get a rawer explanation from anyone else but me!”

“Zenitsu, you are really not obligated to do this…” I interjected.

He wasn’t listening to me at all. “I swear to the gods, Inosuke Hashibira, when I’m done with you, you’re gonna wish you had a normal childhood!”

Inosuke pushed his boar hide up onto his forehead and glared back at Zenitsu.

“I don’t get how that’s a threat, but bring it on, Monitsu. I can take whatever the hell you throw at me!”

“FINE!” Zenitsu shouted.

Then, he grabbed Inosuke’s arm and led him away.

“Um… guys?” I called after them. “We’re not done shoveling snow!”

It was no use. The two of them trudged off somewhere. I didn’t want to know what they were doing. I sighed in frustration. I wasn’t going to do all the work by myself, so I dropped the shovel and went back inside. I saw Nezuko sitting on the couch with a book.

“Hi, brother,” she said perkily. “Are you done shoveling? That was fast.”

“No, Zenitsu and Inosuke are being idiots,” I explained. “So, I’m taking a break.”

Nezuko blinked. “Being idiots how?”

“It’s best if I don’t tell you.”

“Is Inosuke hurting Zenitsu?”

“Well not yet, but he might.”

“Is Zenitsu hurting Inosuke?”

“Trust me, you… don’t want to get involved in this,” I answered wearily.

“Is my husband doing something I should be concerned about?”

I groaned because I didn’t want to tell her, but she gave me no choice. I sat down with her and whispered in her ear, even though nobody else was around. Nezuko just laughed.

“Hahahaha, that’s just guys helping guys! You’re so modest, brother.”

“Okay, but they might still end up punching each other over this.”

“Why would they punch each other over something like that?”

But, an hour later, Zenitsu and Inosuke came back with fat cheeks and bruises. Nezuko gasped when she saw them. Aoi took one glance.

“I don’t even wanna know,” she said.

We never finished shoveling that day. The next day, the snow was all right to walk on, so I went to work. Zenitsu and Inosuke were left to finish shoveling by themselves. Earlier that morning, as I was kissing Kanao and Yoriichi goodbye for the day, Yoriichi grabbed my shirt and tried to pull me back to bed.

“Dada, Dada.”

“I’ll be back, kiddo,” I said and touched his soft cheek. “Daddy will always come back.”

As I was walking, I thought about how that wasn’t true. I’d been thinking about the curse a lot more often since Yoriichi was born. I hadn't heard from Giyu in ages. When he never replied to Nezuko's wedding invitation, I told myself that he was probably just busy with his family, as I was. He had never answered my letters regularly, anyway. I told myself that his wife would have sent word if he had passed away. But, I had sent a few more letters and still heard nothing. Eventually, I had just stopped writing, and I was left with uncertainty. I knew the timeline, though. It had been way too long. I knew how Kanao felt about the curse. But, Yoriichi would never know. It would happen, and he wouldn’t understand. And, I was even more hesitant to discuss it openly with Kanao. Yoriichi was only a year old. Talking about it now would break my heart. I wasn’t this afraid before. Well, maybe I was, but it was worse now. I thought about my life. I defeated the demons, destroyed my nemesis, saved my sister, saved my friends, avenged my family, fell in love, and now I had a son. These were the things I told myself to keep going. Becoming a father was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I was blessed that I got to experience it before I died. No matter what age I died at, I was going to die having lived a full life. And, now, I was dying in a peaceful age. I was dying as a human. But, when I looked at Yoriichi, I wanted more, just enough to know he was going to be all right without me. Just enough to know Kanao could raise him by herself, and that she’d be all right without me, too. I wanted everyone to be all right without me. I exhaled deeply. I couldn’t think about it on the way to work. I had to get my mind ready. I already didn’t like that I had been away for two days.

My job had been pretty normal for a while. Mr. Suzuki recovering and coming back was great, because I didn’t have to pick up the slack as much. My next trip was to a different village, and I was kind of disappointed that I wouldn’t see Ken. I had gone on a few trips since Yoriichi was born. It was never easy being away from him and Kanao. Ken always asked me about them, which made me feel better. We liked talking about our children. I couldn’t believe he had three.

Mr. Takeda briefed me about the new village I was going to. It was the same method we went over going to Ken’s village the first time. I had to memorize all of the personal information about all of the councilmen. I never pictured this life for myself. Had my journey never happened, I’d probably still be selling charcoal. But, who would I have married? Who would my children be? I couldn’t imagine a greater woman in my life than Kanao, and Kanao gave me Yoriichi. I was distracted at work that day. Mr. Takeda asked me if I was thinking about my son. I just nodded with a smile.

“So, he’s all right?” Mr. Takeda asked.

“He’s fine,” I said. “I just love him and miss him.”

“You’re a good father.”

I did like hearing that validation. The greatest validation was Yoriichi’s smile, though.

When I got home, before we started eating dinner, Inosuke decided to tell me that Zenitsu answered all his questions by shaping snow into a human form and demonstrating what to do using it. I’d never felt more disturbed in my life. Unwanted images of what Zenitsu could’ve done floated into my brain. All I could think of was, My sister is married to this guy. I have to deal with him forever. I meekly told Inosuke that I was glad that he understood and walked away with a queasy feeling in my gut. Kanao wasn’t in the mood for love that night, and I was actually kind of grateful for that. I laid on my stomach and put my pillow over my head. Kanao asked me what was wrong.

“Zenitsu confuses me,” I answered.

Kanao laughed. “I guess I won’t ask the rest.”

Meanwhile, Yoriichi started crawling onto the pillow on my head. I laughed myself.

“Oh, easy, kiddo! That’s my head!”

Yoriichi just giggled.

“Silly, Yoriichi,” Kanao giggled with him. “Daddy has pretty hair.”

“You’re more worried about my hair than his weight on my head?”

I moved the pillow off and Kanao held Yoriichi out to me again.

“Yoriichi, feel how soft Daddy’s pretty hair is,” she laughed.

Yoriichi started pulling my hair and I just gave Kanao a playfully annoyed look. If there was any true joy in my life, it was coming home to them.

February ended, and then came spring. Inosuke and Aoi’s wedding was swiftly planned, because it was small and very informal. It happened that May. The only attendants were us. They got married in a clearing in the forest. Inosuke dressed in a traditional kimono and Aoi wore a traditional dress. Inosuke convinced her to let him wear his boar hide, claiming, We will be king and queen of the mountain! She gave in, and Inosuke wore it the whole time. When the officiant declared them married, Inosuke lifted it up, kissed Aoi, and then shouted, “LET’S EAT!” The rest of us clapped and cheered, then we had a huge feast at the house. They spent a few days alone at an apartment they rented in the village. It was all they could afford, but it worked out for the best. The day after they came home, Inosuke strutted up to me and Zenitsu to proudly inform us about “something.” Zenitsu swiftly cut him off.

“Private, remember, keep it private!”

“Oh, yeah,” Inosuke replied. “But, you get the gist…”

“Yes,” I muttered. “Now, please, Inosuke, go burn some charcoal or something.”

Aoi didn’t hesitate for a minute. Two days after the wedding, she had her name changed to Aoi Hashibira. It was nice seeing Inosuke so placid. As promised, he wore shirts more often. Nezuko bought him another one as a wedding present. He had a grand total of four. His favorite was still the obnoxious lime green one. He and Aoi continued to read together, and she snuggled up to him even more. Now there really was no separating any of us.

Yoriichi continued to impress me and Kanao every day. His speech was improving at a lightning speed, so fast that we almost couldn’t keep up. He called the telephone “Hiroshi” like Nezuko and Inosuke named it, but he knew the actual word. He couldn’t reach it, but he always tried. He was very determined.

“Hiroshi, Hiroshi,” he babbled.

“Yoriichi,” I called to him from the couch. “What’s its real name?”

“Tephon,” he answered.

He was already proficient at talking and he was only a year and a half old. That made me more excited for his future, though. It was apparent by now that he hadn’t inherited my sense of smell or hard head. He had Kanao’s perfect vision, however. Just then, he toddled over to me on the couch and pointed to something randomly.

“Look!” he exclaimed.

He was pointing to a very small detail in the pattern of the couch upholstery.

“What is it, kiddo?” I asked playfully.

“Red!”

The small part of the upholstery pattern that he was pointing to was indeed red. It was his favorite color, which made so much sense in several ways. I smiled and scooped him up, putting him on my lap. He smiled back at me proudly. He astonished me every day.

About two weeks after Inosuke and Aoi’s wedding, at the beginning of June, Kanao sat me down before I left for work that morning. Yoriichi was sound asleep in the bed.

“What’s up?” I asked her.

“Do you think we should start trying soon?”

“Trying to do what?”

“Have another baby.”

I went quiet for a minute. We had talked about it a few times, but never this seriously.

“If we start now, Yoriichi will be two by the time the new baby is born. You know all the reasons he should have a sibling,” Kanao went on. “You’re almost twenty-one. If we do it soon, it won’t just be for him, it’ll be for you, too.”

“You’re right,” I answered.

That wasn’t my biggest worry, however. My worry was actually Kanao. I wasn’t sure if she was ready to go through pregnancy again. Giving birth to Yoriichi was incredibly difficult for her. Even Aoi told me, months later, that she had had concerns for a while. But, I knew the time to have another baby was now. I looked at Yoriichi on the bed, sleeping peacefully. I knew he’d love having a sibling. Maybe it would even turn out to be a sister, like me and Nezuko.

“How far away am I?” Kanao asked.

I sniffed her hair closely. “You’re about three days from your peak.”

“Okay. So, if we time this perfectly, it should happen quickly.”

“Yes. I love you, Kanao Kamado.”

“I love you, too."

She placed her hand on my face. She was smiling, but her eyes were sad. I knew exactly why. But, we still weren’t going to talk about it. I couldn’t see her heart break. I’d decided that I was only going to talk about the curse with her if she brought it up, but she never did. Maybe that wasn’t a good approach. I had never been one to avoid talking about things that were unpleasant, but the times had changed me. We kissed goodbye for the day, then I kissed our son. He woke up to it, the same way his mother did.

“Mama, Dada,” he mumbled.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” said Kanao.

“Monin.”

“I’m going to work, Yoriichi,” I said. “See you later. I love you.”

“Love you, Dada.”

I grinned from ear to ear, but I was sad, too. But, I had to go to work, so I had to think about something else. I imagined Yoriichi happily playing with a sister on a warm summer day like this one. I thought about her calling out to him, Brother! Brother! Those were much better thoughts.

I started thinking of girls’ names I liked. It was getting way too far ahead of things, but it occupied my mind on my way to work. I decided I was going to play this private game of female baby names every time that I needed a distraction. It would be my secret. Sometimes I needed things that I kept to myself. Also, telling Kanao would probably stress her out. I went on to play this game for several days, but it didn’t end up working as well as I had hoped. I’d come up with a name I liked, then end up discarding it for some reason. On day three of the game, my head was so foggy that I couldn’t think of anything else. I wasn’t aware of whether my feet were moving at all.

“Brother, are you all right?”

I shook my head and came to my senses. I was staring at the wooden siding of the house, just to the left of the front door. I turned my head and saw Nezuko staring at me with a concerned expression.

“Hey, Nezuko," I said. "Yeah, I'm all right."

“Brother, come inside and have some soup. You don’t look so good.”

“I don’t?”

“You looked like you were sleepwalking, and you’re pale.”

I laughed nervously. “Oh, really?”

“Zenitsu happened to be looking out the window when you came home and we all saw you just randomly face-plant into the wall. So, we were a little… surprised. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” I insisted and shook my head again. “I’d love some soup. Except, why is there only soup for dinner?”

Nezuko worked up a smile. “Well… I thought it was cute, but Zenitsu was really angry. Basically, what happened was… Inosuke threw Aoi her own private feast. However, he ruined his first attempt and ended up cooking everything we had. There was only soup left.”

“Uh-huh…”

Then, I heard Kanao’s voice from the kitchen.

“No, sweetheart, no hands.”

I snapped out of my trance immediately. I went inside to find Kanao with Yoriichi on her lap at the dinner table, along with a pouty Zenitsu. Yoriichi looked very eager to slam his hands into the soup bowl. When he saw me in the doorway, he forgot all about it.

“Dada!”

“I’m home, kiddo,” I said, putting on a smile.

“Tanjiro,” Zenitsu grumbled. “Everyone can have exactly one bowl, because that was all there was. Enjoy.”

I sat down with Kanao and Yoriichi, ignoring Zenitsu and his exaggerated frown. I was actually fine with soup. Kanao and I split our bowls and gave Yoriichi his own cup so he would stop trying to splash. His manners would need some extra attention. Kanao tried distracting him with a spoon.

“Yoriichi, open wide!” she sang.

He opened his mouth, let Kanao put the spoon in, and then he became fascinated with the spoon and tried to pull it out of her hand.

“No, sweetheart, we don’t grab,” Kanao said.

Yoriichi’s little tongue popped out, innocently, of course. But, the implication made both of us laugh. Meanwhile, Zenitsu had had it with the night, and raided the snacks. He and Nezuko ate rice crackers for dinner on the couch together. I never asked where Inosuke and Aoi were. Probably in their room… oh, my… their room.

It was amazing that Inosuke and Aoi were married. It was amazing that all of us were still happy together under one roof. It was amazing that Yoriichi was growing up right before my eyes already. But, if there was one thing in the world that was unavoidable, it was time. Time changed some things and claimed others. No matter how much of his life I got to see, it was all a blessing. I watched him attempt to flip his soup cup and Kanao only just get there in time. I couldn’t miss any of it. Time would pass by whether I wanted to or not. But, Yoriichi was different. Everything was different now. I had never felt so conflicted in my heart before. I had always faced life head on, but now, I wanted to hide.

Later that night, when Kanao and I were intimate, the only thing I could think about was falling. I was falling gracefully through a warm, bright light. I couldn’t see any images, I could only feel the sensation. It was all just a personification of the pleasure I felt. However, I didn't usually think about falling or voids of light. I usually thought about Kanao, and the time that we'd been together. But, in this timeless void, I couldn't see anyone. No time, but no images. No pain, but no people. One, or the other.

“Tanjiro?” Kanao breathed. “Tanjiro, are you already asleep?”

My eyes were closed. We were done, and I had instantly zoned out.

"I can’t have both…” I mumbled to myself.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Kanao asked.

I opened my eyes and reached up to cup her face in my hand. She looked concerned.

“Sorry,” I whispered. “I’m just thinking out loud. I don’t really know what I’m saying.”

“You said, ‘I can’t have both,’” Kanao told me. “Do you know what that meant?”

“I’m not sure,” I answered. “Maybe tomorrow it will make sense to me. But, don’t worry about me.”

“That’s when I worry about you the most,” said Kanao. “When you’re not yourself, I’m not sure what to do.”

I could barely feel my body but I moved in closer to her.

“What makes you think I’m not myself?”

“Well, you walked into the wall of the house, you didn’t train this week, you didn’t want to go to work, and you seem to lack your usual awareness. Then you come home and we make love, and it’s sensational like nothing ever happened. Something’s changed a little in you.”

“I think something’s changed in both of us,” I said. “I’m changing my mind about a lot of things I used to be firmly rooted in. I’m getting confused by my emotions. But… don’t you think that’s normal?”

Kanao was silent for a moment. She moved in so that our noses were touching. Her scent was sweet and overpowering. I noticed she had a small tear in her eye, so I gently wiped it away with my thumb.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“We had a child and now we’re afraid in ways we didn’t anticipate,” I offered. “It’s only out of love, you know that.”

“Yes. Yoriichi has made me feel things I never knew were possible to feel. I understand what you mean.”

“When we’re ready to talk about our fears, we will,” I said.

Kanao nodded, and then we kissed for a while. I knew that we wouldn’t be able to for too long, because we would have to take Yoriichi back from Nezuko. Love couldn't exist in a world without time. There would be days when I would hate time, be angry about the truth, and be sad. But, I would always choose love.

Chapter Text

Spring Surprises

All the predictions we made when Yoriichi was a baby could never have prepared either me or Tanjiro for the personality he developed, or for his intelligence. By September of that year, he could put sentences together. He was fast and strong. He had more energy and audacity than any of the adults combined. As a joke, Zenitsu started calling him “Thunder Clap and Flash,” or just “Flash” for short, after the first thunder-breathing technique. However, Yoriichi took way too much liking to it immediately.

“Uncle Zenitsu!” he’d call out.

“What’s up, Flash?”

“I am BOOM!” Yoriichi cried gleefully.

He stood on the edge of the couch with his arms spread like wings. Tanjiro rushed over immediately and scooped him up.

“You cannot jump in the house!” he scolded him.

“But, thunder go BOOM!” Yoriichi cheered and clapped his little hands together.

Tanjiro had a word with Zenitsu after that.

December fifth came around and Yoriichi turned two. His toddler antics only increased from there. I caught him trying to open the snack drawer by himself. I knew he was looking for dango. I stopped him and he looked at me.

“Did Mommy or Daddy say you could have dessert?” I asked him calmly.

“Auntie Nezuko,” Yoriichi answered.

“No, she didn’t. It’s Mommy or Daddy who says if you can have dessert, and Mommy says no dessert until after dinner.”

“I ate dinner.”

“You ate lunch, Yoriichi.”

However, the only thing he ate that wasn’t dessert was rice. For the baby that had to nurse several times a day, his appetite as a toddler was almost nonexistent. Tanjiro and I didn’t believe in using dessert as leverage to keep eating. He had to eat regular food regardless and could have dessert only if the adults were having it. Tanjiro tried his best to mimic his own father’s tactics when trying to get Yoriichi to eat, because they worked on all his siblings. Yet, almost every meal was a challenge. Then, Yoriichi discovered the power of the word “no.” And, it wasn’t just over eating. I was trying to dress him in his winter coat.

“Okay, sweetheart, hold out your arms.”

“No.”

“I need to put your coat on. It’s cold outside.”

“No.”

“Yoriichi, you won’t like it outside with no coat,” Tanjiro tried. “If you put the coat on, you’ll be happy!”

“No.”

I attempted to put it on anyway, and he ran away from me. Tanjiro let out a groan.

“Yoriichi!” he called as he ran after him. “Come back!”

Once Tanjiro caught him, he started fussing. I could hear them struggling from around the corner before I even saw them. Tanjiro was holding him, but Yoriichi was aggressively trying to wriggle away.

“No! No coat!” he protested.

“You need to wear the coat so you’ll be happy and warm,” Tanjiro tried to stay calm, but he was clearly losing his patience. “So, you’re gonna let Mommy put it on, okay?"

“No coat! No coat! NO COAT!”

“Tanjiro, let him go outside without a coat, and I’ll still bring it for when he changes his mind,” I suggested.

“But, that’s not teaching him to listen to us!”

“Just do it.”

Tanjiro sighed, and he put Yoriichi down. We went on our winter walk just like that. We stopped several times so Yoriichi could play in the snow, and he never once asked for his coat. Tanjiro turned to me with an eyebrow raised.

“This has to be from you,” he said.

“No, this attitude is all you,” I answered back.

“I meant the cold. He’s practically immune to it!”

“I’m wearing two layers right now and I’m quite chilly.”

“Okay, then are you sure he’s our child?”

“I don’t know, Tanjiro,” I replied playfully. “He’s nearly identical to you, and I distinctly remember giving birth to him.”

“I love snow!” Yoriichi called out while face down in it.

“We can see that, kiddo,” Tanjiro answered.

I chuckled to myself. Yoriichi was fearless. When we introduced him to Kaburamaru that spring, he didn’t even bat an eye. As an infant, he had been wary of Inosuke, but now he thought Inosuke was hilarious.

“Hey, Mr. Hashibira!” Yoriichi shouted to him one day.

“Yeah, little man?” Inosuke thought Yoriichi was hilarious, too.

“Off!”

Inosuke popped his boar hide off and grinned at Yoriichi.

“On!” Yoriichi commanded.

Inosuke put it back on.

“Off!”

The two of them repeated the game with commands of “Off!” and “On!” numerous times until Inosuke was howling and Yoriichi was giggling uncontrollably. I looked at Tanjiro next to me. He had his hand slapped to his forehead.

“This is funny,” I said.

“It won’t be funny when they’re still doing it months from now,” he grumbled.

Despite the tantrums and shenanigans, everyone in the family loved Yoriichi. Even better, Yoriichi loved everyone in the family. His big personality wasn’t too much for me and Tanjiro to handle… at least, not yet. In particular, Nezuko adored him. Tanjiro and I had to politely ask her to stop spoiling him with random presents.

“He loves them!” Nezuko insisted.

“He’s going to take advantage of you,” Tanjiro retorted with a smile.

“Heh, heh, that’s true…” Nezuko laughed.

That night, as Tanjiro and I were undressing each other, he suddenly hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Are you sure you wanna do this tonight?” he asked me.

“Why do you ask?”

“Do we really want another child right now…?”

“How far apart are you and Nezuko?” I asked.

“One year.”

“How many children did your parents have?”

“Six…”

“Did they turn out all right as parents?”

“Yes… but, can we please get Yoriichi under control first?”

I undid his belt and everything fell to the floor. I was already undressed. I took his face in my hands.

“You just don’t see that he’s just like you,” I whispered.

“I was never that difficult.”

“Pay closer attention, and you’ll figure him out. Remember he adores you.”

And, it was true. Even after all the fussing and protesting, Yoriichi always ran back to his father. When Tanjiro came home from work every night, Yoriichi would sprint up to him with a huge smile, shouting, “DADDY!” Tanjiro would get on his knees and scoop him up into his arm. They’d beam at each other with so much love. There was nothing more beautiful in the world to me. I could see it in Tanjiro’s eyes now as we were getting ready.

“Yes, he does,” he said. “How could I ever forget?”

He laid me down and right before we slipped under, I thought about what he said to me. Were we having another baby just because we felt obligated? Maybe that was partially true. But, Yoriichi would need a sibling to lean on after his father was gone. That was who it was for. And, so, we were trying. Trying…

It turned into May and the flowers were exploding with color on the mountainside. The last few months had been very peaceful, just the everyday slice of life. The six of us were quiet that morning at breakfast. We were just peaceful together. Tanjiro sat with Yoriichi on his lap and had set aside several small pieces of fish on the side of his plate. He picked one up with his chopsticks and held it out to him.

“Yoriichi, here’s some fish.”

“No,” Yoriichi said.

“You have to eat something other than rice, kiddo.”

“I want dango.”

“No, you’re not having that for breakfast…”

Nezuko started giggling. At first, I smiled along with her, but then I realized that she hadn’t touched her food. Meanwhile, Zenitsu was occupied with eating.

“What is it, Nezuko?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing,” she said. “I’m just looking at you three. What a happy family!”

“Auntie,” Yoriichi piped up suddenly. “Good morning, Auntie!”

“We already said good morning,” Tanjiro chuckled.

“Thank you, Yoriichi,” Nezuko cooed happily. “You’re such a sweetie!”

“What do you say?” I asked him.

“Thank you, Auntie Nezuko.”

Nezuko let out a laugh, but there was something off about its sound.

“You two are raising him right,” she went on. “I can only imagine! It must be a joy!”

“It is,” Tanjiro replied.

He finally popped a piece of fish in Yoriichi’s mouth. Yoriichi made a face and spit it out. Tanjiro sighed.

“Most of the time…”

We all chuckled and continued eating. Nezuko sat there with a huge smile on her face, still ignoring her food. I watched her carefully. Something wasn’t right. Nezuko’s smile looked like she was on the brink of cracking. I thought about signaling Tanjiro, but he was still occupied with Yoriichi.

“You’re such a kind little kid, Yoriichi,” Nezuko continued, now fidgeting with her hair. “I hope you get along with your cousin!”

“What cousin?” Zenitsu finally piped up.

The entire table froze. Tanjiro, who was about to put food in his mouth, almost dropped his chopsticks. We all stared at them. Zenitsu kept on chewing, looking at Nezuko curiously.

“Yoriichi doesn’t have any cousins,” he said.

“Well, not yet, honey, but he will soon!”

“How do you know that, though?”

Tanjiro slowly put down his chopsticks. I knew his death glare was about to come out.

“I know that because I’m pregnant, love!” Nezuko said gleefully. “You and I are going to be parents, too!”

Zenitsu continued to stare at Nezuko, with his mouth full of food. After a few minutes, he turned blue, then fell backwards like a wooden plank.

“He’s choking!” Nezuko exclaimed. “Quick, someone help!”

Inosuke suddenly jumped out of his seat.

“I’ll save him!”

He rushed over to Zenitsu and started pushing his stomach aggressively.

“Careful, Inosuke!” Aoi called out. “You don’t need to be that hard!”

Inosuke finally got Zenitsu to cough out what he was choking on. After gasping for air a few times, Zenitsu flopped back on the floor with a thud, completely out cold.

“Don’t worry, Nezuko!” Inosuke declared. “I’ll go carry him to bed.”

“Um, all right,” Nezuko replied.

Inosuke flung Zenitsu over his shoulder and carried him away. As soon as he was out of the kitchen, Aoi wheeled around towards Nezuko.

“How long have you known?” she demanded.

“Not long,” Nezuko answered with a nervous smile. “I’ve been dizzy and nauseas lately, but never actually got sick. I wasn’t sure at first because I was expecting it to be like what Kanao had. Then, I realized my cycle was off. Hee hee!”

"Why didn’t you come to me?”

“I was going to!” Nezuko laughed sheepishly. “I was waiting for the right time to bring it up, then just kind of forgot.”

“Nezuko!” Aoi scolded her. “That was incredibly irresponsible! You have to come with me down to the clinic as soon as possible! We need to determine how far along you are and if there is anything wrong.”

Now it was clear why Nezuko wasn’t eating. Suddenly, Tanjiro moved Yoriichi to my lap, and bounded over to her.

“If you ever need anything,” he said. “You know that I’m here for you, no matter what. I am so happy for you, Nezuko!”

“Don’t worry, brother,” Nezuko replied, taking his hand. “I know that I have all of you in the family looking out for me, especially you and Kanao.”

“And, another thing,” Tanjiro added, now showing his irritation. “About that husband of yours…”

“Oh, he’s fine,” Nezuko brushed it off. “He’ll wake up soon.”

Tanjiro seemed to be even more irritated by that response, but he didn’t say anything. Aoi took Nezuko’s arm.

“Come with me, Nezuko, I can give you some of the tests here,” she said. “But, we have to do this now.”

She led her away, leaving only me and Tanjiro left in the room with our son. After a few minutes, he turned towards me. He looked drained.

“Want to go outside?” he asked me.

“You need to talk?”

“Yeah.”

We walked out to the river. I carried Yoriichi in my arms. Tanjiro was quiet at first, then he sighed heavily and started speaking.

“I just didn’t like Zenitsu’s reaction at all,” he admitted. “Nezuko tells him that she’s having his child, and he just passes out? That sends me the wrong message. Is he going to be a responsible father? And, I didn’t like how Nezuko dismissed it, either. She excuses a lot of his bad habits. They got married, and then he stepped up to the job and looked like a great husband. Then, the second something drastically changes his life, he breaks down again! It’s so irritating and it makes me want to head butt him. I just want proof that he’s going to be good to my sister, and sometimes she shows it and other times he doesn’t.”

“I know you’re protective of Nezuko,” I said. “But, not everyone has to be the same kind of father you are to be a good one.”

We stopped walking and he looked at Yoriichi, who was now fast asleep. He always fell asleep after eating… even if he barely ate.

“I know Zenitsu will love his children. I don’t have doubts about that,” Tanjiro explained. “He just clearly has no idea what he’s in for.”

“Were we?”

“I think we were pretty prepared for parenthood. Whether we were prepared for him, on the other hand…”

We both laughed and looked at our son in my arms. I stroked his hair, and he squirmed in his sleep.

“He does that when you do it, too?” Tanjiro asked.

“Does what?”

“He fusses when you ruffle his hair. I thought he just didn’t like my scarred hand, but he doesn’t seem to like it when you do it, either.”

“I guess he just doesn’t like having his head touched,” I suggested.

“I’m kind of disappointed,” Tanjiro admitted. “I loved when my father did that to me.”

“I need to go back,” I said. “I need to put him down for a nap.”

“Okay,” Tanjiro said. “I think I’ll stay out here for a bit. I need to think.”

“All right,” I said, and started to walk away.

“But, Kanao… one more thing…”

I turned around to face him again.

“Yes?”

“You’re not jealous of Nezuko, are you?”

I was surprised. “Why would I be jealous of Nezuko?”

“Well, we’ve been trying to have another baby for a while, and I just thought…”

“I’m nothing but happy for Nezuko,” I replied. “Whatever problems we’re having are not going to affect my happiness for anyone else.”

It meant that sincerely. However, it was true that we had been trying to have another baby for almost a year, and still hadn’t succeeded. It didn’t make sense to us. We conceived Yoriichi almost right away, so what was happening? We were timing it perfectly. In March, I consulted with Aoi about it. At first, I thought that something had happened to my body during Yoriichi’s difficult birth, but she gave me an exam and told me everything was fine. Tanjiro had also seen a doctor and was also told he was fine. We figured we had no choice but to keep trying. However, Tanjiro was going to be twenty-two soon. Nobody else, besides Aoi, knew that we were trying to have another baby. We weren’t going to tell the others unless we succeeded, but when would that be? I was starting to have my doubts.

Yoriichi was a lot heavier now that he was two. I adjusted him in my arms, and I smiled. It was a blessing enough that he was alive and to be able to see him grow, and both Tanjiro and I knew that. When I adjusted him, he fluttered his eyes.

“Mommy,” he burbled. “Where Daddy go?”

“Daddy went for a walk,” I answered. “He’ll come back later. Daddy loves you so much, Yoriichi.”

I would forever remind Yoriichi that his father loved him. It would make the future easier. At least we had finally put the topic of our fears on the table, the question was when we would actually talk about it. The only thing both of us were afraid of was the curse, of course. It would happen when Yoriichi would be old enough to remember it, but still too young to understand. I couldn’t think about it now because it would break my heart. I looked behind me. Tanjiro was sitting by the river bank. He didn’t look like he was that upset. He looked peaceful. I didn’t think he was that angry at Zenitsu.

“Mommy,” Yoriichi repeated. “Go to Daddy?”

“It’s time for a nap, sweetheart.”

I was going to lie down, too. It had already been enough for one morning. When I went back inside, Nezuko was sitting on the couch. No one else was around. She smiled when she saw me, genuinely this time.

“Kanao! Guess what! I’m due in January! Yoriichi and the new baby will have birthdays close to each other!”

“That’s wonderful,” I answered with a tired smile.

Back in my room, I laid Yoriichi down and then laid down next to him. I remembered what it was like being pregnant with him. I thought of my body expanding to that size again. I thought about all the love Tanjiro and I had been making. All of it was so good, so why wasn’t it producing the same results? I thought about how much Nezuko was going to lean on me in the next nine months. Hopefully, she would have a normal delivery in a doctor’s clinic. I remembered the week after Yoriichi was born, and Zenitsu joking about it.

“So, when Yoriichi grows up, who’s going to tell him he was born in the living room?”

“He doesn’t need to know that,” Tanjiro had answered flatly.

Yoriichi popped his thumb in his mouth in his sleep. That needed to be broken soon. His head was resting up by my chest, and I could hear him breathing. He breathed like his father, he looked like him, slept like him, and had every last ounce of his determination. It was remarkable. Tanjiro and I both wanted to give him a sister in particular. But, for now, at least he was getting a cousin.

The next day, it was as if the incident at breakfast never even happened. Zenitsu fawned all over Nezuko, patting her stomach and stroking her hair. The kisses were smacking and the pet names were flying everywhere. Tanjiro left for work hastily. Inosuke and Aoi were annoyed by it, too, and wandered off by themselves. I used that opportunity to take Yoriichi into my room and teach him the alphabet. He’d have to start school by next year. Tanjiro and I hadn’t talked about it yet, but we needed to do it soon. Yoriichi was learning fast. I started teaching him how to spell. We started with his name, but he easily mastered it and wanted more. He climbed into my lap now.

“Mommy, Mommy. Spell, ‘Auntie Nezuko.’”

“How about we spell ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy?’” I suggested instead.

“I know how,” Yoriichi said. “Spell, ‘Auntie Nezuko.’”

“You know how to spell ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy?’” I pretended to gasp incredulously. “Okay, show Mommy.”

I laid out the cards with each katakana letter out in front of him, and he looked at them carefully. First, he spelled out “Yoriichi, then “Mommy” and “Daddy.” He looked up at me with a big smile, waiting for approval.

“That’s excellent, sweetheart!” I praised him. “Let’s show Daddy when he comes home.”

“Okay. Now we spell, ‘Auntie Nezuko?’”

“Yes, we can.”

He spelled his aunt’s name correctly on the first try. Amazed, I asked him to show me what other words he knew. I’d give him new ones and he got them all right. He was so proud of himself. His whole face lit up when he smiled. But, that was exactly what Tanjiro and I wanted. We wanted him to always have light in his eyes.

Chapter Text

When Nothing Grows

Three months later, in July, Tanjiro passed on a birthday party. He insisted that Nezuko needed more presents than he did. I gifted all of Yoriichi’s old baby clothes to her. Zenitsu was nothing but supportive for his dear wife, although he was starting to butt heads with Tanjiro again. It didn’t look like there was any true friction, but occasionally Zenitsu said something that seemed flippant and Tanjiro would get upset. One night, I heard him give Zenitsu a lecture on “being prepared.”

“Oh, trust me, I witnessed everything with you two and Yoriichi,” Zenitsu assured him. “I can totally do this. I saw all the tantrums, all the baby stuff, and I’m prepared. We’ve all been up against way worse than a baby, after all! Hahahaha!”

“Are you prepared to not be able to afford anything?” Tanjiro asked him.

“The family is stable with money,” Zenitsu replied.

“Zenitsu, the combined money is not for your children,” explained Tanjiro firmly. “If you brought it into the world yourself, you pay for it yourself.”

The realization took Zenitsu several minutes to digest, which only annoyed Tanjiro more.

One afternoon, Tanjiro and the guys were training, Aoi was doing paperwork for the doctor’s office at the kitchen table, and I was getting ready to cook. Yoriichi sat on Nezuko’s lap while she read a book to him.

“Auntie Nezuko, why is your belly big?”

“That’s because your cousin is growing inside of it!” Nezuko answered cheerfully.

“What’s a cousin?”

“Since I’m your auntie, and Uncle Zenitsu is your uncle, our kids are your cousins!”

“What’s my cousin’s name?”

“If your cousin is a girl, her name is ‘Saki!’ If your cousin is a boy, his name is ‘Jigoro!’”

Aoi looked up. “Huh? That’s an old man’s name!”

“Exactly! It was the name of Zenitsu’s former trainer, who he called ‘Gramps,’” Nezuko explained. “Zenitsu told me that he wanted to honor Gramps, so ‘Jigoro’ was the only name that he’d choose for a son. To be honest, I don’t think it’s an old man’s name at all! I think it sounds dignified. We tossed around a bunch of different ideas for girls’ names. We both liked ‘Tsubaki,’ but then we thought ‘Tsubaki Agatsuma’ was a bit of a mouthful. So, we went with ‘Saki’ instead.”

“I like both,” I said. "I agree ‘Jigoro’ sounds dignified.”

“It’s like you, Yoriichi!” Nezuko said and tapped his nose. “If you had a little brother or sister, what would you pick?”

I picked up the cutting knife and put it back down immediately. I felt ice in my veins. I knew that Nezuko was just playing, and there was no way she could have known. Well… maybe she did, considering how often Tanjiro and I were leaving Yoriichi with her these days. Even if she had figured it out, she meant nothing by her comment. Still, I felt my hands shaking. It was not a shake of envy. I didn’t think I could ever be jealous of anyone. It just wasn’t in my nature. The tremor I felt in my hands was that of confusion and maybe a tinge of sadness. Both Tanjiro and I were getting discouraged at this point. We had looked over the documents saved from both of our test results a second, third, and fourth time. There really was nothing wrong with us, or at least not physically. Aoi couldn’t explain it to us any other way.

“I wish I could tell you more,” side had sighed. “I guess just keep trying? I know that’s hardly encouraging at all…”

She was right. And, we were trying. It never felt forced and the love was genuine, but it was definitely becoming an obligation now. It was the only thing I thought about. Every move he made, I imagined myself getting larger. We had a sense of urgency, but it didn’t change anything about the way the love felt. Every time we made love was exhilarating, and the love that night was no exception. When we were done, I laid my head on his chest.

“Do you think… that worked?” I asked him.

“I hope so,” he breathed.

“It certainly felt wonderful.”

“I can’t get enough of you, Kanao Kamado,” Tanjiro said with a smile. “Every day you blow me away, even when I think I can’t possibly be blown away anymore.”

I laughed, then shifted my weight. I rolled off of him for just a second to stretch, and the covers slid down my chest. Suddenly, Tanjiro pulled them back up for me. He wasn’t aggressive about it, but I was startled.

“Tanjiro? What’s wrong?”

He was suddenly sullen. “Your scar… it never fades…”

“Please,” I whispered tenderly. “Not tonight.”

“I’m sorry. I just don’t like seeing it.”

“You see it every single day.”

“I know,” he sighed. “It never stops me from making love to you, but I still can’t forget about what it is.”

I put my hand on his cheek and turned his face towards me.

“Listen to me. You need to let the past go, Tanjiro. You’ve reconciled everything except this. It happened for a brief moment, and you know it was not your fault. But, let me tell you this. Even in that moment, as terrifying as it was for all of us, your friends and family still loved you. I loved you, Tanjiro, even as a demon. I love you now even though your eye and arm don’t work. I would’ve still loved you if your eye and your arm had never grown back. None of that matters to me. I love you for who you are. Who you are is not defined by what happened that day. You are a wonderful friend. You are a wonderful brother. You are a wonderful husband. And, most importantly, you are a wonderful father. That is what’s important. I told you this before on our wedding night. All that matters is our family, our future, our love.”

He teared up. I gently rubbed his cheeks. He just needed to cry about it for a moment. But, I had the same struggle that he did. His mark caused as much pain in me as my scar did in him. It was something that we could no longer speak openly about, and it had gotten even harder since we became parents. The significance of the two blemishes was different, though. My scar was a reminder of a tragic day, but his mark was a reminder of his mortality.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “We were having a beautiful night.”

“It’s all right. It’s still a beautiful night.”

“I’m going to get Yoriichi. I need him.”

“Okay.”

Tanjiro put his robe on by himself and went to Nezuko and Zenitsu’s room. I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling. When he came back, Yoriichi was sound asleep, his thumb in his mouth.

“That should be corrected soon,” I said, putting on a smile and trying to lighten the mood.

Tanjiro handed Yoriichi off to me, took his robe off, and then got back in bed.

“What should be corrected?”

“Sucking his thumb.”

“Oh, yeah,” he chuckled a little. “Apparently, I did that until I was four.”

“I love you, Tanjiro,” I said. “I’ve loved you ever since that coin came up heads, and I’ll never stop loving you, either.”

He looked at me tiredly, but with a small smile.

“I love you, too, Kanao Kamado. Thanks for jumping me from behind that one day.”

We kissed a small kiss, because we were tired. It wasn’t any less loving, though. I placed our son between us. Yoriichi and Tanjiro brought each other so much joy. They both fell asleep within a few minutes. I wrapped my arms around them, like I always did. But, I also put my face right into Tanjiro’s shoulder, so I wouldn’t have to look at his forehead.

The next day, Tanjiro had an extra day off to prepare for a trip. He had stopped getting so nervous about his trips, but he was anxious that afternoon. He sat in the back doorway, toying with Kaburamaru, who slithered around his arm. Yoriichi was playing with Inosuke inside, so I went out to my husband.

“I’ve been thinking about what we were talking about last night,” he said.

“About my scar?”

“About the fact that I was a demon. Do you think that has something to do with why we can’t conceive again? Either that, or it’s part of the curse.”

I thought for a minute before answering.

“I’m not sure how the curse would have any affect on fertility. But, maybe having been a demon would? Nobody’s ever dealt with that until now, so there’s no evidence to support it either way. We’d have to wait to see if Nezuko has any more children. Only, that will be a while.”

“Yeah, that’s true…”

He looked out across the garden in thought. I put my arms around him, then gently kissed his cheek. Kaburamaru slithered over to my shoulders.

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?” I asked.

"Have I... given you enough, Kanao?" he whispered.

I tightened my grip on him. I was not expecting him to say that at all. I took a deep breath.

“You’ve given me everything I could ever ask for.”

“What about him?”

At that moment, Yoriichi came running over to us.

“Mommy, Daddy! Mr. Hashibira is so cool! He’s so cool!”

Tanjiro’s solemn expression immediately became happy.

“Oh, yeah, what did he do?” he asked Yoriichi with a grin.

Yoriichi babbled on excitedly and climbed into Tanjiro’s lap. Tanjiro smiled and held his son close. What about Yoriichi? It was an excellent question. I was going to answer it, because it was obvious. Tanjiro hadn't given Yoriichi enough, and it wouldn't be enough by the time he was twenty-five. Yoriichi deserved more. He could not have his father die on him so soon. On the outside, I was smiling, and I was holding both of them and laughing with them. On the inside, I was screaming to the gods not to take Tanjiro away from Yoriichi. I’d been asking them for a sign for two and a half years. I still hadn’t gotten one. But, I guess I had no choice but to keep trying.

September third was Zenitsu’s birthday. He made a dramatic speech at dinner about how Nezuko was the best present he could ever ask for and that he was so excited to become a father. Tanjiro was actually very impressed with him.

“Soon I’ll know why Tanjiro is always exhausted,” Zenitsu cracked. “And, then, we can be exhausted and drown in the onsen together.”

Yoriichi bounced on my knee. “Mommy, what’s an onsen?”

“It’s like a big bath of hot water,” I answered.

“Not a place for kiddos,” Tanjiro added and tapped Yoriichi’s nose.

“Oh, that’s good to note!” exclaimed Zenitsu.

He pulled a pad of paper and pencil out of his pocket and started writing it down. We all looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Um, Zenitsu, what is that?” Tanjiro asked.

“I’m making a list about what to do, but mostly what not to do, as a dad!”

Nezuko giggled. Inosuke leaned down and whispered something in Aoi’s ear.

“Yes, dear, you can ask that question,” said Aoi.

Inosuke cleared his throat. “In the case that one of you guys ever makes me baby-sit, can I copy your notes?”

“Um, I guess that’s okay,” answered Zenitsu. “But, why would we ever do that?”

“Huh? You’re saying you don’t trust me?” Inosuke bellowed. “I’d be a totally awesome baby-sitter! Just look at Yoriichi! He loves me! Hey, kid! What’s Mr. Hashibira?”

“COOL!” Yoriichi exclaimed.

Nezuko patted her growing belly. “And, new baby just kicked, so he or she must agree!”

“Yeah!” Inosuke cheered. “Your kid thinks I’m awesome as hell and it’s still a fetus!”

Aoi threw up her arms. “Ino…SUKE! Now you’re too much!”

“Awesome as hell!” Yoriichi echoed.

My jaw dropped and I thought Tanjiro was going to break a blood vessel.

“Look what you just did!!!” he snapped. “You both put that down on your list right now, that you don’t say certain words around children!”

“Oh, sorry…” Inosuke said and covered his mouth.

I pulled Yoriichi over to a chair and calmly explained that “hell” was not a nice word.

“Okay, Mommy,” Yoriichi replied.

However, Yoriichi continued shouting “awesome as hell,” for two weeks. One afternoon, the husbands came back from training. Inosuke had a big bump on his head and avoided Tanjiro for the rest of the day. It was obvious what Tanjiro was angry at him for. At dinner, Inosuke tried to teach Yoriichi a new phrase.

“Hey, kid, what am I?”

“Awesome as…”

“NO! I’m fantastic!”

Yoriichi blinked a few times before grinning ear to ear.

“FANTASTIC!” he shouted happily.

It worked, but Tanjiro was still wary.

“I only head butt people when they deserve it…” he sighed in bed that night.

“How about we just get through tomorrow?” I asked, tracing a circle on his chest.

He smiled and gingerly touched my fingers with his.

“Sounds good.”

“Will I be at my peak tomorrow?”

“Your scent has never been wrong before.”

“I have a pretty good feeling about the next time,” I whispered. “It’ll work.”

“Maybe we should stop expecting it, and it will happen,” Tanjiro offered. “That’s how it happened last time.”

I looked at Yoriichi between us, sound asleep peacefully. I forced a small smile.

“Yes, that’s how it happened last time.”

The truth was, at that point, we were desperate, and I was telling him anything that would keep my head above the water. Maybe he was right, though. I expected too much. The next night, when I was supposedly at my peak, we tried again. I was still in a daze from it when I went to go pick up Yoriichi. His eyes were halfway open, but he’d be out soon.

“What kind of stories does Auntie Nezuko tell you?” I asked him.

“Magic stories,” he yawned.

He probably meant fairytales. One day, he’d know all the stories about his family fighting demons. That was one thing we certainly weren’t going to hide from our children. They deserved to know the truth. I knew Yoriichi had already asked Tanjiro why his left arm barely moved and why his hand was wrinkled.

“When I was young, I got hurt in a fight,” Tanjiro told him. “And, now, that hand doesn’t work anymore.”

“Fight with who?” Yoriichi asked.

“A monster,” replied Tanjiro. “But, don’t worry, Yoriichi, monsters don’t exist anymore. No monster will ever hurt you.”

Yoriichi was silent. He stared at his father with wonder. That happened a couple weeks ago, and he hadn’t asked anything about it since. I noticed his hair was getting long, but I kept forgetting to cut it. I supposed I could just tie it up for the time being.

The day after that, I was helping Nezuko with her garden. She was at six months, and she couldn’t bend over. I remembered exactly what that was like. Yoriichi played in the field beyond the garden, occupied with some sticks. I knew he wouldn’t run off, and I had a close eye on him. Nezuko and I were talking about story time with him.

“He loves it so much!” Nezuko squealed. “Do you think you and Tanjiro could return the favor once new baby is born?”

“I’m sure we could!” I answered. “Although, we’ll have Yoriichi, too.”

“True,” mused Nezuko. “I guess we’ll think of something!”

Suddenly, she exclaimed, “UGH” and stumbled forward. I leapt to my feet and caught her by the shoulders before she fell to her knees.

“Nezuko, are you all right?” I gasped.

“Hahaha, it’s fine!” she laughed, but she also winced in pain. “New baby has some very strong kicks! You know, every so often, Zenitsu will just start randomly kicking at nothing in his sleep. He only does it for a few seconds, then he stops and is still for the rest of the night. I guess new baby takes after Daddy! Did Yoriichi ever kick like this?”

“Yoriichi occasionally kicked me in the ribs, and he was very active,” I replied. “But, he usually didn’t knock me over, except for maybe one time.”

“Well, Aoi said every baby is different,” Nezuko said. “Your next one might be the exact opposite of Yoriichi.”

My heart sank. Nezuko turned to look at me and was surprised.

“Kanao? What’s wrong?” she asked. “You look sad all of a sudden.”

“Um, Nezuko,” I began slowly. “Tanjiro and I have been trying to have another baby for a year and a half now. But, for some reason, we can’t.”

Nezuko gasped and brought her hands to her mouth.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Kanao! I did kind of figure that was what was going on, though, with so much story time with Yoriichi.”

“Please, don’t be sorry. We’re both extremely happy for you and Zenitsu,” I replied. “The only other person who knows about our struggles is Aoi, and we’d prefer if Zenitsu and Inosuke didn’t find out.”

“I will keep it a secret,” Nezuko promised. “But, do you know what’s wrong?”

“We don’t,” I sighed. “We just keep trying, but nothing happens. We’ve talked to Aoi and other doctors. We just want to give Yoriichi a sibling. He’s very excited about his cousin, though. He asks all the time, ‘When is cousin coming?’”

I looked out at him now. He couldn’t hear us at all.

Nezuko smiled and rubbed her stomach. “I think new baby has settled down now. I think we’re about done in the garden, too. Let’s go in and have some tea, Kanao, and talk about other things besides our children or husbands for once. Let’s just talk about you and me.”

I smiled. It sounded refreshing. I looked up across the garden.

“Yoriichi, time to go in,” I called out to him.

He came right to me. Nezuko laughed again.

“He’s not playing the ‘no’ game today.”

“Tanjiro’s been firm with him lately,” I chuckled. “Trust me, we still play it often.”

Yoriichi went up to Nezuko and reached up towards her belly.

“Auntie Nezuko, when will cousin be here?”

“You can meet cousin in three more months,” Nezuko answered happily.

Yoriichi turned back towards me and outstretched both his arms.

“Mommy, up.”

I picked him up. He smiled at me and played with my hair that was pulled to the side.

“I still can’t get over how much he looks like Tanjiro,” Nezuko mused out loud.

“Did you know that you look like Daddy?” I asked Yoriichi.

“Yes,” he answered.

I went to kiss his forehead, but he put his hands on his head and made a face.

“No forehead?” I asked.

He really didn’t like having his head touched after all, not in any way. Instead, he tapped his cheek. I kissed his cheek and he smiled and giggled. Maybe he really did know he looked like his father. We had held him in front of a mirror many times, after all. We watched him put his hands against his reflection curiously as we told him, Look, Yoriichi, it’s you! I never wanted that curiosity in him to fade. He buried his face in my shoulder now, like he wanted to sleep.

I looked back at Nezuko. “I’m going to put him down for a nap in the living room so we can still talk.”

“You’re a wonderful mother, Kanao,” Nezuko said with a smile. “I hope I can be like you with the new baby.”

“Of course, you will!”

We went into the kitchen and made tea. Now that Nezuko was too pregnant, she was given a leave from the clinic. As we talked, “new baby” kicked her hard several more times.

“There we go again!” she laughed with a wheeze.

Maybe I was a little jealous that there wasn’t anything growing in me, but there was still growth all around. There was the garden, and there was Yoriichi.

Chapter Text

Expectations

Saki Agatsuma was born a few months later on January thirty-first. Her face was a perfect blend of both her parents, and she was born with no hair. Would it be black or blonde? It was the topic of discussion among the family for many weeks following her birth. I was pretty certain it would be black. But, more importantly, Nezuko and Zenitsu were obsessed. I’d never seen either of them so happy. I was an uncle now. Kanao was an auntie. They stayed at the clinic for a week, then came home the following Sunday. Nezuko held the sleeping infant out to Yoriichi. He gazed at Saki with wonder.

“This is cousin,” said Nezuko. “Her name is Saki.”

“What do you say, Yoriichi?” I asked him.

“Hello, Saki, nice to meet you,” Yoriichi replied.

Yoriichi was three now. His hair had gotten long, but Kanao insisted he didn’t need it cut yet. Instead, she tied it back into a bun every day. The texture of his hair was all hers. He had the same bangs as she did, and, even with his hair tied back, a few longer strands still fell out by his ears. The style actually looked good on him.

“Did I tell you my hair was to my shoulders when I was thirteen?” I asked her.

“I think you mentioned it once.”

“I had a bun, too.”

“Your hair looks much better the way you have it.”

“Yes,” I laughed. “But, on him, it works.”

“You know he hates having his head touched,” Kanao continued. “So, I’m going to keep it that length and cut it myself when it gets unruly. Maybe he’ll protest less if it’s me.”

“Yoriichi,” I called to him, because he was sitting right there. “Do you like your hair?”

“Yes!”

“That settles it then,” Kanao decided with a smile.

A few weeks later, in March, Kanao approached me with a sheet of paper. I looked at it carefully. It was the enrollment document for the village school.

“What’s this for?”

“We’re enrolling Yoriichi,” Kanao explained.

“You know we can’t afford that,” I said. “It’s much easier to homeschool him. I was, and so were you.”

“Tanjiro, he’s far too intelligent. This would be better for him. Also, think about who his friends will be. Will it just be us?”

“I understand all that. I’m just worried about money.”

“I understand that, too, but this will be better for him,” insisted Kanao. “You know it will be. I have to sign him up by the end of this month so he can start in August. So, please give it some more consideration.”

Kanao rarely put her foot down on me like that. She was dead serious about this. When she did get that serious, she was always right in the end. I thought about what she said for a few days. I knew it was for the best. A few days after that, Kanao was downtown, finally selling most of her sewing. I was granted the day off because council business had been slow. I looked over at Yoriichi at the kitchen table eating the bowl of rice I gave him with his hands.

“Hey, kiddo, I’m gonna show you how to use chopsticks today.”

“No.”

“Yes, chopsticks are polite.”

“No.”

“Yoriichi…”

“I like my hands!”

I sat down at the table with a pair and showed him with my own rice.

“Look, Yoriichi, it’s easy. When you go to school, you can’t eat with your hands.”

He looked up at me curiously. “What’s school?”

“You’re going to go there in August and you’re going to learn lots of things. You’ll get to meet other kiddos. It will be fun!”

“Fun?”

“Yes, lots of fun!”

He burst into a smile. “Daddy, let’s play!”

Suddenly, he was out of his seat and tugged at my shirt excitedly. Kanao had sewn a shirt for him with the same checkered pattern as mine. His was red, his favorite color. He looked up at me with huge eyes and a huge smile. I immediately smiled back.

“Okay, kiddo. What do you want to play?”

“Pretend you’re a monster and chase me!”

I paused for a minute. “Monsters are too scary. How about I pretend I’m a bear instead?”

“Okay!”

We instantly forgot about the rice. I chased him around the yard for a while as he cackled with glee. He was fast, but he wanted me to catch him. I pretended to be too slow at first. Pretty soon, he was in my grasp and we were on the ground laughing.

“Daddy, Daddy, what is that on your ears?”

“Oh, these?” I asked, and tapped my earrings. “These are my earrings. They have been in our family for a long time. My father passed them down to me when I was twelve. One day, I’ll pass them down to you.”

“Really?” Yoriichi breathed with wonder. “So, I get to be like you!”

“You be yourself, Yoriichi,” I told him. “Always just be yourself.”

“Daddy, we’ll always be together, right?” he said suddenly.

My heart immediately sank, but I worked up a smile.

“Yes, Yoriichi, I’ll always be with you… even if you can’t actually see me there.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Yoriichi chirped, and he buried his face in my shirt.

If only he knew how much he truly meant to me. Words couldn’t describe it. He had no idea what I said to him. One day, he would. I wondered if I was going to be the one to tell him.

We went back inside and I tried to show him the chopsticks again, but he ignored me and went back to our room. I sighed. I adored him to no end, but he could be very difficult. Maybe he would have better luck with Kanao. At the moment, Nezuko and Zenitsu were in their room. Zenitsu returned to writing at home to help Nezuko with Saki, and they were all taking a nap. Then, Inosuke came back from his charcoal run.

“Hey, Tanjiro! Where’s your short lookalike?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “His name’s Yoriichi, he’s my son, and he’s in my room.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Hey, Inosuke, I was thinking. You’ve got all that spare wood in the shed. Could you start building some stuff for the house? It could save us all some money.”

“Yeah, definitely! I’m almost finished making another awesome gift for my WIFE, but I could do that, too!”

He put so much proud emphasis on the word “wife.” A year later, he was still thrilled that he and Aoi were actually married now. Time changed even the toughest skin. Maybe time would change my inner conflicts.

A month later, at breakfast, Yoriichi was fumbling with his chopsticks. Occasionally, he’d still try to eat with his hands, but I’d tap him on the shoulder.

“Chopsticks,” I said.

He pouted.

“You’re a big boy now, kiddo," I encouraged him. "Big boys use chopsticks.”

He looked at me with wide eyes. “I’m big?”

“You get bigger every day.”

“And, so do you, my little Saki love!” Zenitsu cooed at his daughter.

Saki sat in Nezuko’s lap. She merely blinked while her parents gushed over her. Then, Zenitsu fed Nezuko a bite of his meal.

“Okay, really, guys?” Aoi groaned.

“Yes, sweetie, I have my own food,” Nezuko giggled.

“But, your arms are full with our precious dumpling!” squealed Zenitsu.

“Dumplings?!?!” Yoriichi piped up excitedly.

“No, kiddo, no dumplings today,” I said.

Kanao, who had been in the bathroom for a while, suddenly came out and joined us at the table. She sat down next to me and Yoriichi calmly.

“Good morning,” she sang to us.

She seemed all right, but I knew her better. She pulled me aside before I left for work.

“It’s late,” she informed me.

Hope rose up to my chest, but I was afraid to smile more than a crack.

“Do you feel sick? Do you think you’re pregnant?”

“I feel fine, but I’ll be alert.”

“Okay, let me know.”

I could taste hope on that kiss that morning. I went to work and started my game of girls’ names up again, anything just to keep hope alive. Maybe, finally, this was the one. At work, the other councilmen noticed I seemed very happy. Mr. Takeda told me I was scheduled to meet with Ken again soon. I hadn’t seen him in a while. I’d tell him about Yoriichi, and maybe have news for him, too.

Whenever I was home the next week, I didn’t want to let Kanao out of my sight. But, she never felt sick. She was eating normally. She was not having any symptoms of morning sickness. It was peculiar, but I thought there was a chance. Kanao went to see Aoi right away, but Aoi was clearly skeptical.

“It is odd, but you should be feeling sick right away. Nezuko said she didn’t feel very sick at first, and it’s different for every woman and every baby, but… I just don’t know.”

“But, you’re not ruling out the possibility?” Kanao asked.

“Not exactly…”

The next day, a Sunday, something told me to give Kanao her space. So, I took Yoriichi to the village. I carried him all the way down the mountain.

“Daddy, you’re strong!”

“Thanks, kiddo,” I smiled at him. “Daddy trains a lot to stay strong.”

“So, you can fight monsters?”

“There are no more monsters, Yoriichi.”

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“I like dango!”

I laughed. “If we see dango, I’ll get you one.”

“Two!”

“No, just one.”

“One for me and one for you!”

“Okay, we can do that.”

Yoriichi had been to the village before, but he was amazed every time. He stared in awe at all the colors and people, and took in the sounds. The villagers had met him several times.

“Why, it’s the famous Yoriichi!” Mrs. Soma exclaimed happily.

“Daddy, what is ‘famous?’”

“It means they know you,” I answered.

“Yeah, that’s me!” Yoriichi cheered.

“Two sticks of dango,” I laughed.

We sat on a bench in the gardens and ate our treat. Yoriichi leaned up against my bad arm and started poking my hand. I couldn’t feel it, I could only see that he was doing it.

“Tell me about the monster,” said Yoriichi.

“It’s not a happy story, kiddo,” I replied. “When you’re older.”

“How much older?”

“We’ll see, okay?”

“What is ‘we’ll see?’”

The infinite questions phase was in full swing. He was smart, which meant I had to make my moves carefully. I picked him up with one arm and plopped him on my lap.

“Okay, how about I tell you one thing about the monster now?”

“Yes, yes!” Yoriichi cheered.

“This monster was afraid of the sun. He could only come out at night.”

“Why was he afraid of the sun?”

“He knew that it was stronger than he was. He didn’t want anything to be stronger than him. But, that’s how we won. I used the sun to beat him. And, guess what? Mommy helped. It was Mommy who saved me when I got hurt. Your mommy is an amazing woman, Yoriichi.”

“Wow! I love Mommy, and I love you, too, Daddy!”

“And, both Mommy and Daddy love you very much, kiddo,” I said softly.

I tapped his nose affectionately. That was what we did instead of ruffling his hair. He let out a happy giggle, and I smiled back at him. We had a nice day in the village together. I showed him where I worked, and he got to meet Mr. Uotani, who was there just to check on something.

“This is Yoriichi?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered. “Yoriichi, can you say hello?”

“Hi, I’m Yoriichi, and I look like Daddy!”

“Yes, you do,” Mr. Uotani exclaimed. “Oh, wow, you really do!”

On the way back up the mountain, Yoriichi insisted on walking himself. He was getting heavy, so it was nice to put him down. I was still worried about the mountain slope. I held on to his hand tightly.

“Do you know all the ways you look like Daddy?” I asked him.

“Red,” he answered.

“Yeah, red hair and red eyes.”

“But, why?”

“Our family used to work with fire,” I explained. “So, we have a little fire in us.”

“Why did we work with fire?”

“We did it to burn charcoal. I used to sell charcoal like Mr. Hashibira. And, my father used to do it before me.”

“Your daddy, Daddy?”

“That’s right, your grandfather.”

“Where is he?”

“Your grandfather, as well as your grandmother, are in a place that you can’t see,” I said carefully. “But, they are still with you.”

“Why can’t I see them?”

“You can’t see them because they’re no longer living in this world,” I told him. “One day, Yoriichi, people and animals, even trees, run out of time and stop living. That means they’re just not here anymore. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Everything when I’m older?”

“Yes.”

I knew he didn’t understand a word I told him, but it was all right. There would be more time to explain. I felt like I needed to tell him myself, though. His tiny hand felt melded to my palm, the same way it felt when Kanao and I held hands. I thought about how he described how we looked alike as simply, “red.” Kanao always commented about how Yoriichi and I were alike in so many ways, from our determination and tenacity to our temper. I never threw the tantrums that he did, and I was never so defiant. But, none of that was as important as the fact that he was the best thing in my life. When we got back to the house, we saw Zenitsu and Nezuko sitting in the doorway. Saki was bundled up in Nezuko’s arms.

“Auntie Nezuko! Uncle Zenitsu!” Yoriichi called out and ran to them.

“Hi, Yoriichi,” Zenitsu said.

“What are you guys doing out here?” I asked them.

“Well, it’s a nice day,” Nezuko replied.

Something felt off, however. Her scent was nervous, like she was withholding something.

“Hey, Yoriichi,” said Zenitsu suddenly. “Wanna play a game with Uncle Zenitsu?”

“Yes!” Yoriichi cheered.

Zenitsu led Yoriichi to the edge of the yard and started showing him how to do some silly dance. They were out of earshot from me and Nezuko. I slowly turned back to my sister.

“What happened?” I asked.

“We… don’t know what it was about…” she explained meekly.

Dread seeped into my veins. My words barely made it over the lump in my throat.

“Is it Kanao?”

“She just screamed out of nowhere! Then, she ran to your room. Zenitsu and I didn’t even ask, we just got out immediately. We tried not to listen, but it sounded like she was crying.”

I stepped into the house without asking another word. Very quietly, I crept up on my door. I didn’t hear any crying, but I wasn’t reassured. I knocked hesitantly.

“Kanao? It’s just me.” I called out gently.

Her voice was barely audible. “Come in…”

When I stepped inside, I saw Kanao crumpled to her knees on our bed. She had changed clothes. When I left for town, she was wearing her favorite shirt and skirt combination. Now, she was wearing an older kimono. The skirt she had on that morning was clutched in her hands. She had clearly been crying very heavily. Then, I caught the whiff of something among her sad scent. It was the scent of blood. But, where was it coming from? I knelt with her and put my arm around her gently.

“Kanao, what happened?”

She didn’t answer me. She simply held out the skirt that was in her hands to me. It was stained red. It was the source of the scent of blood.

“Are you hurt?” I asked.

“No,” she choked out. “It… It came… it happened after all.”

“You mean…”

“I’m not pregnant,” she whispered hoarsely. “I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I,” I replied, holding her closer. “Maybe it’s just not meant to be.”

“But, Yoriichi will grow up alone. He won’t have anyone to lean on or play with or share his childhood with. It will just be me and him.”

“He will still have family,” I said. “He’ll have Saki, at least.”

“It was for all of us, though. I really wanted to have another baby,” Kanao sniffled.

“I wanted it, too,” I sighed. “I’m so sorry, Kanao.”

She rested her head on my shoulder. I had had a bad feeling from the beginning. I had no good reason for why this was happening to us. I didn’t know how it could be related to the mark, either, but that was the only thing I could think of at this point.

“Nezuko told me you screamed?” I asked.

“Yes, because my cycle came.”

“I’ll tell her what happened. You just rest in here.”

“Where’s Yoriichi?”

“He’s playing with Zenitsu outside. He’s fine.”

I kissed Kanao’s cheek gingerly. Her eyes were glazed over, and my heart broke seeing her like that. She laid down and I stayed with her until she was asleep. I wiped a few tears out of my eyes myself, then went to get Yoriichi. I sat down next to Nezuko. When I told her, she gasped.

“Brother, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all right. Just let Kanao sleep.”

Meanwhile, Zenitsu and Yoriichi’s dance had morphed into running around the yard like a couple of chickens. They were howling with laughter. Watching them mended my heart a little and brought a thin smile to my lips. Saki squirmed in Nezuko’s arms and made some gurgling noises.

“You know, Yoriichi is so sweet and gentle with Saki,” said Nezuko. “It’s obvious that he loves his cousin. I know what you’re afraid of. I know that I’ve refused to talk about it with you for years, but that was irresponsible. Please know that me and Zenitsu will always be there for Kanao and Yoriichi. If you asked Aoi and Inosuke, I’m sure they’d say the same thing.”

“I know, Nezuko,” I said. “Everything I ever risked was for you. You are my little sister and I’d trust you with anything, as I trusted you with my life.”

We leaned up against each other while Saki made more noises and Zenitsu and Yoriichi whooped in the background. Saki’s little hand stretched into the air.

“Do you want to hold her?” Nezuko offered.

“Sure,” I smiled. “I’d love that.”

“Here, Saki! I’m going to give you to Uncle Tanjiro.”

Nezuko passed my infant niece to me. Her hair was starting to sprout. It was growing in patches, some black and some blonde. Was she going to have both? Maybe all of us were going to end up wrong. I smiled down at her. The real question wasn’t about her hair color, though, it was if she’d end up warm and caring like Nezuko or animated and excited like Zenitsu.

“She’s tiny,” I remarked. “Yoriichi was almost double her size.”

Nezuko chuckled. “She kicked like she was huge! Our mother always said that you can’t have too many expectations with your kids, though. I can’t wait to find out what’s in her head!”

I looked out at Yoriichi gasping for air with laughter. Maybe he wouldn’t get to be a big brother. That wasn’t the primary thought in my head, though. As I gazed at his innocence, I only worried if he’d be all right.

Chapter Text

What Are You Afraid Of

In August, Kanao sold out almost her entire stock of sewing, and it brought in a great deal of extra money. Nezuko was still on leave from the clinic to take care of a rapidly growing Saki. Zenitsu finally finished the first draft of his memoir, and was taking a break before revising it. Aoi was busier than all of us, as her reputation was growing by the day. Inosuke had a lot of free time now. He had maximized efficiency for burning and selling charcoal to such a degree, and he spent his down time making things in the shed or just training in the woods. I still trained every chance I got, too. Zenitsu was still home most of the time to assist with his family, so he was training with us more frequently again. The greatest news in the house, however, was that Yoriichi was starting school in a few weeks. One afternoon, while it wasn’t too hot, Kanao took him down the mountain to see the school. It wasn’t open yet, she just wanted to show him where it was. I came home from work that day and asked Yoriichi what the school was like.

“It was great! Now, I’m done!”

“Uhhhhhh, no…” I replied slowly. “In a few weeks, you’re going to go back and you’re going to learn lots of new things.”

“And, then I’m done!”

“No, Yoriichi, you’ll have to keep going back.”

“When will I be done?”

“It’s preschool, Yoriichi!” Nezuko chimed in. “You’ll learn the letters and numbers, color pictures, and play! You’ll like going every day!”

Yoriichi paused. He stared at me and Kanao, demanding confirmation.

“Every day?”

“That’s right,” I replied.

“NOOOOOOOO!” Yoriichi wailed, throwing himself face down on the floor. “I never see Mommy? I never see Daddy?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Kanao assured him, scooping him up. “You’ll see both of us before and after school. But, at school, you’ll make new friends and have a very nice teacher.”

“Can I bring Saki?” Yoriichi sobbed, tears flowing down his face.

“No, Saki’s too young.”

He was completely despondent. I wasn’t sure what he was more upset over, having to go to school every day, not seeing me or Kanao, or not being able to bring his infant cousin. Two weeks later, he refused to go to school. Kanao walked him down the mountain and didn’t tell him where they were going. I found out later when I came home that he threw a massive fit when he saw they were approaching the school and wouldn’t let go when she tried to put him down. Kanao told me that she’d never seen him so misbehaved, and he was still upset when she picked him up later.

“Where is he now?” I asked her.

“In our room.”

“What’s he doing?”

“I put him there for a timeout. I think he just fell asleep.”

“I’m going to talk to him.”

“I already did, so you don’t have to.”

“But, what did you tell him?”

“I told him that he did not act nicely, that he needs to go to school, and that he needs to listen to the teacher.”

“I see… very interesting…” came Zenitsu’s voice behind us.

Kanao and I turned to see him scribbling away on his note pad.

“What are you doing, Zenitsu?” I asked.

“Taking notes on how to deal with child behavior,” he announced. “Nezuko and I can use this valuable information the next time Saki is crying!”

“Zenitsu, Saki cries a lot because she is an infant,” I said slowly.

“That is an excellent point!” laughed Zenitsu nervously. “Well, I’ll just keep this stored away for future reference!”

He walked away briskly, as if we were going to yell at him. I just shook my head. Kanao put her hand on my shoulder.

“Tanjiro, Yoriichi only did it once,” she said. “If it persists, then we’ll do something about it. I think he was scared. He made me carry him the whole way home.”

I thought back to my younger siblings. Rokuta would definitely have acted the same way. I sighed again. Kanao embraced me, and I held her back. Every day, I imagined myself teaching Yoriichi new things and having conversations with him, even the ones that I wouldn’t live to tell. I knew it was just wishful thinking.

Kanao and I had avoided talking about the curse for far too long. We both knew that. This was the young woman who always whispered to me, I’d rather love you and lose you than never love you at all. But, lately, she couldn’t say that anymore, either. With her head resting on my shoulder now, I inhaled the scent of her hair, because that’s where it was strongest. I could smell tiredness and a hint of frustration, but it was probably just over Yoriichi’s tantrum. She pulled away from me gingerly and announced she was going to work on her sewing in the living room. I wondered why there was no dinner already cooking and realized it was my turn to cook. We were going to eat late. Inosuke was going to complain about it.

Before I started cooking, however, I opened the door to my room a crack. Just as Kanao had said, Yoriichi was sound asleep. I realized that he was wearing different clothes. Kanao told me that the school required a uniform, even for preschool. I had never actually seen it, though. I looked at him sleeping in it, and thought the outfit looked ridiculous. I shut the door quietly and went to the kitchen. Sure enough, Inosuke was sniffing around hungrily.

“Inosuke, if you’re hungry, there’s dango.”

“Ooh! Dessert before dinner!” Inosuke cheered and smacked his lips. “But, uh, I should save some for Yoriichi, right?”

“He doesn’t get any today,” I sighed.

Before bed, I was washing up in the bathroom. I knew Kanao and I weren’t going to be making love that night. Yoriichi tottered up to me and looked at me with big eyes.

“What’s up, kiddo?” I asked him.

“Mommy says I was bad,” he whined.

“Because you were.”

“I don’t like school.”

“Okay. What don’t you like about it?”

“You’re not there and Mommy’s not there.”

“Well, no, Mommy and Daddy are adults.”

“I was scared.”

I paused. I knelt down to his level.

“Yoriichi, everybody gets scared sometimes, and that’s okay. Can you tell me what was wrong? Is your teacher scary?”

“No.”

“Are the other kids scary?”

“No.”

“Then, why is it scary, kiddo?”

“I don’t know.”

He chewed on his tiny fingernail. He was scared by the unfamiliar environment, but he didn’t know how to articulate it. I could already tell that he was like Kanao that way. But, that didn’t invalidate his fear. I put my arm around him and he looked up at me.

“I’m sorry you were scared, Yoriichi. It’ll be better when you make friends. And, me or Mommy will always be there to pick you up. Okay?”

He held my gaze for a minute.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, kiddo?”

“What are you scared of?”

I froze. What was I scared of? The list was too long to ever recite to anyone. I choked back my own emotions and tried to stay calm.

“I’m scared of lots of things. I was scared of the monsters. I’m scared of something bad happening to my family. I’m scared of not being able to help my family if there was trouble. I know I will always be scared of these things. But, I won’t let that stop me from getting through the day. Will you promise me you’ll be a big boy at school tomorrow?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

“Good. Now, go to bed with Mommy. I’ll be right there.”

Yoriichi nodded and went back to our room. I stared after him until he was through the door. I wanted to be able to teach him so many things, but I also never wanted to see the day when he would need to learn them. I guessed that was just something that happened along with becoming a parent. My father never saw any of his children grow up. Now, that was me, too.

“Tanjiro?” Kanao called from inside the room.

“I’m coming,” I answered.

I laid down in bed with my wife and son and wanted to be frozen in that moment forever. I remembered something Rengoku once said, Growing old and passing on is what makes being human beautiful. He died that same day. I always agreed with his words wholeheartedly. And, sometimes, I wished I could experience growing old.

Yoriichi finished his first month of school with minimal antics, so, on the first weekend of October, Kanao and I took him to see a movie. The movie theater had only been open for two months, and we found a short movie that was just a silly cartoon of a bear. Yoriichi stared at the screen with wonder. However, the movie theater ticket was expensive.

Yoriichi kept cheering, “Let’s go tomorrow! I love that bear!”

Kanao and I just laughed.

In November, Yoriichi told us that he had a friend named Sei. Kanao and I listened to him with excitement as he told us all about him and how they were coloring together.

“But, he doesn’t talk,” Yoriichi concluded.

“That’s okay,” Kanao said. “You love to talk, Yoriichi, and you talk well. But, some kids don’t talk well, so they’re quiet.”

“But, I want him to talk!”

“You just have to be patient and let him do it himself, kiddo,” I told him. “It sounds like he likes you, so let him talk to you when he’s ready.”

Two weeks later, our telephone rang. Inosuke was sitting in the kitchen when it happened and nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Guys, guys! It’s Hiroshi! He’s talking!”

“Please, call it a telephone, dear,” groaned Aoi. She picked up the receiver. “Hello, this is a conjoined household. Are you calling for Kamado, Agatsuma, or Hashibira? Okay, sure… yes, she’s right here. Kanao!”

Kanao put down her sewing and Aoi handed her the phone. I was watching and listening from the kitchen, trying to find something to cook.

“Hello, this is Kanao Kamado… Oh, it’s very nice to meet you, too. Yes, he told us that.” She was calm at first, and then she gasped. “Really? He really did that? That’s so sweet! Thank you so much for calling! Yes, we would love to meet you at the school tomorrow. Thank you and have a great night.”

I was stunned. Kanao hung up the phone with a huge smile.

“Who was that…?” I asked.

“That was Mrs. Kuragi,” answered Kanao. “Sei’s mother. Apparently, Yoriichi got him to talk at school for the first time today.”

My jaw dropped. “Really? How did he do that?”

“She told me Yoriichi gave Sei a crayon for every word he said,” Kanao grinned. “Then, when Yoriichi was all out of crayons, he just sat there and watched Sei color. They told me that Sei feels really safe with Yoriichi.”

“What?!” I exclaimed. “You’re sure this is the same kid that threw a tantrum on the first day of school?! That’s incredible!”

“His parents want to say hello tomorrow,” Kanao went on. “So, maybe you can clock out of work for just a few minutes?”

“Sure,” I said.

Inside, my heart was bursting. Despite all his difficult moments, Yoriichi was a good kid, and moments like this proved it. At that moment, Yoriichi wandered into the living room from our room.

“Mommy,” he said. “I’m thirsty.”

“Yoriichi, did you help Sei talk today?” I asked him.

“Yep. I gave him crayons.”

“Sweetheart, that was so nice of you!” Kanao said and tapped his nose. “Sei really likes you, Yoriichi. Keep being kind to him.”

The next day, I told Mr. Takeda I was running out for an errand, then met Kanao by the school with Sei’s parents. Mr. and Mrs. Kuragi were much older than me and Kanao. While we were both a mere twenty-three, they were thirty-four and thirty-one.

Mr. Kuragi tipped his hat to me. “Councilman Kamado, it’s a pleasure.”

“Please, it’s just ‘Tanjiro,’” I said shyly. “I was your charcoal seller not too long ago.”

Sei came toddling up to his mother. “Mama, today Yoriichi and I played catch.”

Yoriichi followed right behind him. Kanao took his hand.

“We’re just happy Yoriichi made a friend,” she told Mrs. Kuragi. “He was nervous about school at first.”

“Mommy,” Yoriichi piped up. “I want to go to Sei’s house.”

“Not today, but another time, sweetheart,” Kanao said with a smile.

“We’re glad Sei made a friend, too,” Mr. Kuragi said. “Anyway, see you tomorrow.”

After that, Yoriichi and Sei were inseparable. Kanao had been right about sending him to school in the village. It gave me some peace to think that Yoriichi was going to have a normal childhood.

One morning, I woke up very early. There was no particular reason. Kanao and Yoriichi were still sound asleep. Yoriichi had rolled over with his head facedown on Kanao’s chest. They looked very funny like that, and I smiled. It was the middle of December. Yoriichi’s birthday had passed, and he was four. I was wide awake, and didn’t want to disturb them. So, I walked out to the living room and took a couple blankets from the couch. I bundled up and sat in the doorway. I thought about how time seemed to have sped past us all in the last few years. Aoi and Inosuke were married, Nezuko and Zenitsu had a daughter, and now Yoriichi was in school and already had a best friend. But, there was Kanao…

I knew what it was all about. We had a family together now, and we both just wanted our lives to be normal. We fought through hell to have a normal life. But, it was time to confront it with her. It was going to be ugly, but I had to. I looked down at my bad hand. My wedding ring was still there, as it always was, and it reflected the light of the rising sun. I cautiously ran my fingers across my forehead and rested them on the mark. If I hadn’t manifested it back then, then Yoriichi wouldn’t exist today. This world we were all living in wouldn’t exist, either. I said it to myself when Yoriichi was born. This was why it was all worth it in the end. Yoriichi would grow up, he’d have children of his own, and I’d have descendants a hundred years from now living in some amazing city of the future. But, there were some things that I had to admit. I’d be lying to myself if I said that I didn’t sometimes think about breaking the curse, if it meant seeing my grandchildren. And, I would grow old with Kanao. I would never miss an opportunity to hear her laugh or wipe away her tears. But, now, I couldn’t read her at all anymore. She was giving off conflicting scents. Her kisses tasted different. The love she made felt different. The one thing that I needed to know before it happened was that Kanao would be able to raise Yoriichi on her own. She was so strong, but was she strong enough for this? My head felt so heavy and I was tearing up now. I couldn’t let anyone hear me, so I covered my face with the blanket. I didn’t want to go to work. I wanted to stay home and hold Kanao.

I didn’t like how distant I had grown from the people I cared about. So many of the other survivors no longer answered my letters. I only heard back from Senjuro now. Did Murata marry the girl he was with at Nezuko’s wedding? How old were Tengen’s three children and did he have more? I thought about Giyu and Shinazugawa, who both had to have been dead by now. Giyu’s wife still hadn’t sent anything to me, but I knew. The curse didn’t make exceptions. The only one was Tsugikuni. He was the greatest and physically strongest swordsman who ever lived, and I knew I wasn’t as lucky as he was. Still, at the moment, I would have given anything to be half as lucky.

I began to cry harder, soaking the blanket. I realized there was a lot that I didn’t know about the curse of the mark. There was only one person I could think of who could have the answers - Kiriya. I had to write to him soon. But, all the kasugai crows had been relieved of their duties and returned to the Butterfly Mansion. The age of demon slayers was coming to an end. I would have to send a message to Kiriya through the post, which would take a lot longer than a crow. Still, I had no other choice. I needed answers. I needed something to tell Kanao, even if all I’d get back was just a reinstatement of what she already knew. I had to convince her that this was really happening. However, I knew my heart was going to break.

“I’m sorry, Kanao,” I whispered to myself shakily.

The sun was rising now. Was there a little hope? I had to be realistic, above anything else. But, a little hope, even false hope, would get me through the day.

Chapter Text

I’m Not Ready to Lose You

“Mommy, Mommy,” Yoriichi called from beyond my dream. “Wake up, Mommy!”

My eyelids fluttered open and I yawned. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“It snowed!” Yoriichi cheered with a huge grin. “Let’s go play!”

I sat up and stretched. “Sure, we can play outside. Where’s Daddy?”

“He’s getting the sled!”

Sure enough, when I dressed and went out into the living room, Tanjiro already had his snow boots and scarf on, and he stood in the doorway with the sled. Inosuke stood next to him, beaming with pride.

“Did you make these sleds, Inosuke?” I asked.

“Yeah, I did! Pretty cool, huh?” he replied. “That’s why I’m going with you!”

“Yay! Mr. Hashibira!” cheered Yoriichi.

I looked at Tanjiro. He was more excited than I’d seen him in a while.

“You are coming, right, Kanao?” he asked me.

“Of course!” I replied with a nervous smile.

We marched out into the snow. Inosuke carried both sleds, while Yoriichi held Tanjiro’s hand. It was the first snow. January had come again. In just a few weeks, we were going to have a celebration for Saki’s first birthday. A new year meant birthdays for us all. I would be twenty-four later this year… and so would Tanjiro.

Yoriichi only wore his red checkered shirt and a light undershirt. It really was as if he was immune to the cold. He was born while it was snowing, and I liked telling myself that was the reason. I saw how thick the hair in his bun was getting. I’d have to cut it after his bath today. He would have a tantrum no matter what. As we made our way up the hill, I tried to just enjoy the moment.

“Okay!” Inosuke announced, throwing both sleds down. “I’m gonna show you how it’s done! Then, you follow the leader!”

Inosuke got on his sled, kicked off, and careened down the hill with a mighty whoop. Yoriichi grinned from ear to ear.

“Now us!” he shouted with glee. “Mommy, Daddy, get on!”

“How about Yoriichi in the front, Mommy in the middle, and Daddy in the back?” Tanjiro suggested.

“Tanjiro, I’m not so sure about this,” I murmured.

Yoriichi was already on and jittering with excitement. Tanjiro smiled at me.

“I’ve got you,” he said.

I sighed. “Okay…”

There wasn’t a lot of room left, but we did all fit. I felt my skin crawl with anticipation. I wrapped my arms tightly around Yoriichi.

“Okay, I’m counting to three!” Tanjiro announced. “One… two… three!”

I screamed the whole way down, my heart at top speed. The wind whipped through our hair and the cold breeze stung our cheeks. When we finally stopped, Yoriichi giggled uncontrollably and Tanjiro was in hysterics, too. I was much less enthusiastic.

“AGAIN!” Yoriichi hollered.

I was still catching my breath. My chest was heaving and my lungs hurt. Tanjiro came up to me and bent over.

“Oh, come on, that was too much for you?” he teased.

I looked at him, annoyed. “When my four-year-old is on the front of the sled, yes!”

“I’m fine!” Yoriichi insisted. “Mommy, look I’m fine! Let’s do it again!”

“I’ll take him if you don’t want to,” Inosuke offered.

I let out a big exhale. “I might go again, but not from the top of the hill. I thought Yoriichi was going to fly out.”

Tanjiro extended his hand towards me to help me up. He smiled.

“It’s all right, Kanao. I was scared for a second, too.”

I took his hand. I stood and looked at his handsome face. His eyes were bright, even the blind one. I hadn’t seen that shine in a while.

I chuckled nervously. “It’s just a mother’s instincts.”

“Of course,” he replied.

Yoriichi ran ahead to catch up with Inosuke. As we were walking, Tanjiro squeezed my hand. I remembered the familiar game, and squeezed back.

“We don’t have to stay out for long,” he said. “We’ll make tea when we go inside. We can get all cozy. Want to get cozy with me, Kanao?”

“Of course, I do,” I replied with a smile. “Are you playing some kind of game, Tanjiro?”

“What makes you think that?” he teased again.

I knew him. I knew when he was holding something down. Meanwhile, Inosuke and Yoriichi were already positioned on the sled, ready to go.

“Inosuke!” I called out. “I did not say you could take him!”

“He’s fine!” Inosuke replied.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” echoed Yoriichi.

“Just let him go,” Tanjiro said to me.

“Okay,” I gave in.

“All right, little dude!” bellowed Inosuke. “Hang on!”

They were down the mountain like a bullet, and I stopped in my tracks to watch. My free hand flew straight to my mouth. Yoriichi’s laughter shook the entire mountain. They coasted to a stop and they both pumped their arms up and cheered.

“Shall we go on another one together?” Tanjiro asked me.

“I don’t want to anymore.”

“Okay. How about we just keep each other warm?”

He hugged me around my shoulders. I instinctively moved toward him and he held me in a tender embrace. I gripped his bad hand, even if he couldn’t close his fingers around it, just out of anxiety. We watched Inosuke and Yoriichi hustle up the hill for another run. Tanjiro lowered his face into my hair.

“You’re a wonderful mother, Kanao Kamado,” he whispered.

“I can’t do it alone, you know,” I whispered back.

“You’re never alone.”

I rested my head against his chest and I could hear his heart beating. Yoriichi was on the sled with Inosuke again. I was not thrilled about him going on another run. But, he also looked so happy. He was so innocent. He didn’t know.

A hot feeling flashed by and I suddenly felt like digging my nails into Tanjiro’s hand. He had no feeling in it, so it wouldn’t have mattered. It only lasted for a split second, but, of course, I couldn’t hide from his nose at all.

“Hey, there. Are you angry?”

I took a deep breath and composed myself.

“A little, at Inosuke. This is the last run and then we’re taking Yoriichi in.”

He could smell that I was lying, too, but part of me wanted him to find out.

That night in bed, Yoriichi laid across Tanjiro’s chest.

“I’m gonna sleep like this!” he announced.

“You’re getting a little too big for that, kiddo,” Tanjiro laughed. “And, pretty soon you’re gonna get too big for this bed.”

“What?”

“When you get to be five, you can get your own bed in your own room!”

Yoriichi pouted. “I wanna sleep with you!”

“Sweetheart, it’s bed time,” I whispered. “You need to be quiet now.”

“You don’t want to wake up Uncle Zenitsu,” Tanjiro added.

Yoriichi harrumphed and burrowed himself under the covers up to his neck.

“I’m staying here!”

“Yes, you can sleep here for a little longer, Yoriichi,” said Tanjiro, tapping his nose. “But, we all get older.”

“I’m not gonna get older!”

“I thought you liked being a big boy now,” Tanjiro teased him playfully.

“Not if I can’t sleep with you!”

Tanjiro chuckled, but I didn’t think it was that amusing. When Tanjiro and Yoriichi were fast asleep, I still lay awake. I stared up at the ceiling. I knew what was coming, and I was trying to suppress it. I covered my mouth with my hand to try and prevent it, but I knew it was useless. I took a sharp inhale, and the tears exploded. I had learned how to cry silently. I cried silently on the inside for many years as a child, even after Kanae and Shinobu saved me. Then, I fell in love and the crying stopped. For the first time, I knew something beautiful, and what Kanae said was right - my heart bloomed. The past years with Tanjiro had been bliss, and I never cried at night again. Now, it was back. It had come back a few months ago.

I didn’t want Yoriichi to get older, either. I didn’t want any of us to get older. I wanted to reach out for Tanjiro’s hand, but I turned my head and saw that it was holding Yoriichi. I felt so many emotions fall to the bottom of my heart with a crash, anger, sorrow, fear. I should’ve felt touched seeing my husband hold our son while they slept, but none of that was there. There was something so wrong about it. My tears fell harder. I was going to cry myself to sleep once again. And, in the morning, it would be as if nothing ever happened. Tanjiro would go to work, Yoriichi would go to school, Aoi would go to work, Inosuke would spend all day outside at the furnace or in the shed, Zenitsu would go to his office to write, Nezuko would care for Saki, and I would sew another pillow or blanket. It wasn’t mundane at all, it was a peaceful life. This was how I wanted every day to be. That was what everyone wished for ourselves - carefree days, love, and family. But, everyone knew from the beginning that one day, that would all be wrested away from us.

Why was no one talking about it? I thought that Nezuko, above anyone else, would share the pain I was going through. Maybe she hadn’t reached out to me because she had a baby. When she became pregnant, Tanjiro asked me if I was jealous of her because we were having trouble conceiving. We still couldn’t conceive, but that had nothing to do with my envy towards Nezuko at the moment. I envied her because she and Zenitsu would grow old together. She wasn’t going to lose her husband in two years. I felt envious towards Aoi, too. This jealousy, this rage, and this crippling fear wasn’t like me at all. This was not, and had never been, who I was. And, yet, now it was gripping me with vicious claws, like a demon.

I gasped involuntarily and immediately turned my head back to them. Neither Tanjiro nor Yoriichi stirred at all. I couldn’t believe how immature I was acting. I was afraid at sixteen, but I was so level-headed. I was more mature about it then than I was now. The reason for that change was obvious. He was asleep and cradled in Tanjiro’s embrace. I had to stop crying, but not until after my obligatory nightly plea to the gods.

“Please, I beg you,” I mouthed at the ceiling. “Please, don’t let it happen. Not yet.”

In bed, I rolled over to embrace both of them. They slept the exact same way. Once they were out, they were out. They even made the same face in their sleep. Tanjiro said that Yoriichi hummed in his sleep the same way I did, but he wasn’t making any noise at the moment. If I reached out and stroked Tanjiro’s hair, would he wake up? I tried. His hair was so soft. Yoriichi’s hair was the same gorgeous color, but it wasn’t as soft. He slept without the bun, so his hair fell in his face when he was asleep. I looked at them now, so peacefully asleep together, and my heart shattered. I couldn’t believe I had let myself get like this. Would Kanae tell me that I was being immature? We hadn’t been to the Butterfly Mansion since our wedding, so I hadn’t visited my sisters in five years. I wished I could kneel in front of Kanae and Shinobu’s grave and bawl my eyes out to them. Even if I did that, however, it wouldn’t make me feel better. I didn’t know how late it was, but I knew I had been awake for a long time.

Earlier, I had wanted to hurt my own husband’s hand. Now, I wanted his hand in mine. I wanted his hand, his hair, his face, his eyes, his lips, his body, his voice, his laugh, his smile, his everything. I looked at him now and wanted to aggressively wipe the mark clean off his forehead with my hand. I was ready to tear my hair out thinking about it, and, at the same time, I couldn’t take my eyes off his sleeping face. My eyes finally felt heavy, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I wasn’t done screaming inside my head yet.

Suddenly, I felt a touch on my knee. I whipped my head around.

“Mommy,” Yoriichi mumbled, still half asleep. “Did you have a bad dream?”

I blanched, and suddenly became aware of how heavily I was breathing. I had woken him up. I forced a smile and gently touched his face.

“Yes, sweetheart, but it’s okay. Everybody has bad dreams. Please, go back to sleep now.”

“Okay, Mommy,” he said, and was asleep again instantly.

I gently laid my head back on my pillow. I felt so selfish. Was that wrong? I didn’t know anymore. I couldn’t believe that it was really going to happen soon. I had always told Tanjiro that I would cherish every last moment I had with him, but what I was doing now was far from that. It wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t fair to Yoriichi. It just wasn’t fair. It hadn’t happened yet and I was already grieving. Yoriichi was nestled tightly in his father’s arm, but one of his little hands fell free. I took it into mine immediately. This was my family. Was it so wrong that I just wanted my family to stay together? My head was spinning, and my consciousness was fading. I was going to wake up with a headache.

The next morning, I walked Yoriichi to school. We had to get up extra early because we lived on the mountain. Sometimes, I wasn’t even able to kiss Tanjiro goodbye before he left for work. This was one of those mornings. As I walked with Yoriichi, I was trying to decide whether I was disappointed over that. I knew I was, but it was like something in my head was telling me I shouldn’t be. It made no sense. Tanjiro was my husband. I was in love with him.

“Mommy,” Yoriichi said excitedly. “Can I go over Sei’s house today?”

“If his parents say it’s all right,” I answered as happily as I could.

I was still drained from the night before. Maybe it would be beneficial for me if I didn’t have to worry about Yoriichi this afternoon. Mr. and Mrs. Kuragi always said that Yoriichi was very well behaved at their house. I hoped they’d say yes. My mind was hazy and I hadn’t slept well. If Yoriichi was at Sei’s house, I could take a relaxing bath later. I was at least glad that Yoriichi liked going to school now, even if it was just because of Sei. The fact that he had a friend was even more encouraging. The morning light made the highlights in his hair look even redder.

“Mommy has to cut your hair tomorrow, Yoriichi,” I said.

He scrunched up his face. “Just a little.”

I sighed. Every day while combing and washing his hair was a struggle. I asked him once why he hated having his head touched so much and all he said was that he didn’t know. Maybe it was just something unique to him. We reached the village, I dropped him off, and then had to turn right back around. Down the mountain, then up the mountain. I didn’t mind on any other day, but today it felt like a chore. I knew that once I got home, I could just retreat into my room and sew. Maybe I’d lose myself in each repetitive stitch. I started sewing to fill in the gaps between Tanjiro’s visits to the Butterfly Mansion. It was meant to keep me occupied when he wasn’t there. When he wasn’t there…

When I got back to the house, the first thing I did was call for Nezuko. However, I heard nothing. Instead, when I opened the front door, I saw Tanjiro in the living room. He was sitting on the couch, drinking a cup of tea.

“Tanjiro?!?!” I gasped. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you leave for work?”

“Nope,” he answered. “I was just in the bathroom when you left.”

“Why aren’t you at work?!?!"

“I took a sick day.”

“But, you hate taking sick days!”

“I had a reason for this one.”

“A… a reason?” I was stunned. “What’s going on? And… where’s everyone else?”

“Aoi went to work and Nezuko and Zenitsu went with her,” he explained. “They’re doing a routine checkup with Saki. Inosuke is in the shed building something. He’s very intense about it. He won’t bother us.”

“What do you mean ‘won’t bother us?’” I demanded. “You sound like you’re scheming.”

Tanjiro put his tea down on the table and stood up. He had a grave look of seriousness I had never seen before. It was the opposite of what he was like the previous day. What happened to his smile, his flirts, his laughter?

“We have to talk about it,” he said directly.

“About what?”

“The curse, Kanao.”

My blood froze and my throat closed up. I stared at him in disbelief.

“I need you to tell me how you really feel,” Tanjiro went on. “I need you tell me what you want me to say to you. But, I also need you to understand that I can’t give you the answer you really want.”

The ice in my veins was slowly turning to fire, vessel by vessel. He was right, and I hated it. His words felt like betrayal, even though they weren’t. But, my brain refused to think about it any other way. I had never felt this way towards him before. It was so foreign and felt so wrong.

“How… how could you say such a thing to me?” I stammered.

“You can’t be in denial about this,” he explained. “I hate that I have to do this to you right now, but we’ve been ignoring it for too long. We’ll never be able to have a proper conversation about this if we aren’t honest with each other.”

“What am I in denial about?” I shot back, my voice rising to a tone I didn’t know it had. “Every time I look at you I can see that mark on your forehead! I don’t need crystal clear vision! I see it plain as day, I catch all your references, and you certainly never let me forget it! So, what exactly am I in ‘denial’ about?”

“You see it, but don’t want to accept it,” Tanjiro answered with an incredibly annoying calmness. “I understand why, Kanao. Nobody wants to accept this. What do you think this is like for me? I have no choice but to accept this.”

“Don’t lie to yourself!!!” I shouted. “You know your face doesn’t contort when you lie to yourself! It enrages me to no end when you act like you’re not afraid to die!”

“I said that I accept this, not that I’m not afraid.”

“I have more acceptance than you think I do!” I shrieked, my lip quivering. “I knew that this was going to happen when I married you and bore your child, but have you ever stopped to think about that? When have you ever considered what kind of position I’m in?!?!”

He flinched and slightly furrowed his brow.

“Don’t accuse me like that,” he said with a tiny quiver in his voice. “That’s not fair.”

“Not fair?!?! I’ll tell you what’s not fair! THIS!!!” I could barely believe my own voice. “Everything about this isn’t fair! Just once, I’d like to see you get angry about how not fair it is! You honestly think, in this world with no demons, life still can’t change you, Tanjiro? Lots of life has happened to the both of us since then, and you’re just going to accept that you don’t get more of it? You deserve more, and you know you do! We all do, especially Yoriichi! We deserve more of you! Is that too much to ask for?!?! Is that something I shouldn’t want?!?!”

“Kanao,” Tanjiro said, calmly but firmly. “Please, stop yelling at me.”

“But, you’re not listening!!!” I begged him. “You don’t understand!”

Huge tears rolled down my face. My whole body was trembling in agony.

“What don’t I understand?” he asked quietly.

“You don’t understand what this is like for me!” I sobbed. “I tried my best. It was easier in the beginning. I don’t know why. Maybe because we didn’t have a son! Do you understand what this is going to do to him? What am I supposed to tell him, Tanjiro? How do I explain to Yoriichi that his father will never come back?”

“Kanao, please…”

“I’ve tried to be realistic, I’ve tried to be mature,” I cut him off. “But, I worry that I’m too young. I’ve always prayed to the gods not to let it happen, but now I’m lying in bed every night downright begging them!!! I don’t know how you don’t wake up in the middle of the night when all I do is cry for hours. I don’t know what’s wrong with me!”

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Kanao.”

“I’M NOT READY TO LOSE YOU!!!”

My voice echoed throughout the entire house. I stood there panting, my chest aching. I was doubled over, my hands on my knees, desperately trying to catch my breath between full-body sobs. I sank down to my knees. My tears were staining the carpet. I was crying so hard, I was afraid I was going to make myself sick. Tanjiro came over to me. He got down on his knees, too. Then, with the gentlest touch I had ever felt, he placed his hand on my cheek and started wiping the tears out of my eyes.

“Kanao,” he whispered. “It’s okay to be sad about it. It’s okay to be afraid, and it’s okay to be angry. These are all completely valid feelings. I’ve been sad about it, too. I’ve been angry. And, I have always been afraid. Do you know why I feel these things?”

“Why?”

“It’s because I love you,” he answered, and rested his forehead against mine. “I love you, I love Yoriichi, I love my sister, and everyone. And, when I see you like this, I get worried about what I’m leaving behind. Do you know why you feel this way right now?”

“Because, I love you.”

“Exactly,” he assured me. “But, Kanao, love is the most beautiful thing in the world, and the strongest. It’s stronger than death.”

“But, I’m not,” I choked out. “Look at me. I’m so weak right now.”

“That is the last word I would ever use to describe you,” he replied. “Listen to your voice right now. Was that the same tiny voice that couldn’t make decisions for itself when I first met you all those years ago? The Kanao I know is infinitely strong. You might not feel that way right now, but you are.”

I continued to sob into his shoulder. My fists were clenched tight, and my throat felt like it was burning. His hand moved down to my back now, caressing me all over. I thought back to our wedding, and the pure bliss of the whole night. I could still see the lights, hear the laughter, and taste his tears on his lips. I could still remember the exact way we fell into the sheets later. I remembered when I told him I was pregnant, the way he held me and the look of absolute joy on his face. I remembered the way he was overcome with emotion when Yoriichi was born, how he couldn’t take his eyes off his son. They were all such beautiful, happy moments, and I couldn’t accept that all of that was going to come to an end. He’d be twenty-four this year, and then it was only a matter of time. I was not sure how I could raise Yoriichi alone. None of this would make sense to him. I had always told Tanjiro that I’d rather love him and lose him than never love him at all, but, when we were only sixteen, I never could have fathomed how hard it was going to be.

“Kanao, I need you to make me a promise.”

I sniffled. “What kind of promise?”

“Promise me that after I’m gone, you’ll stay strong, you’ll live your life to the fullest, and you’ll never forget that I loved you.”

“How could I ever forget that?” I wailed.

“Please, promise me.”

I coughed into his shirt several times before I could get the words out.

“I promise.”

He stroked my hair, which completely fell out of its hairpin during my episode, and then he looked me straight in the eye. His face was close. I could see that he was crying, too.

“We will see each other again,” he whispered.

“Huh?”

“We will.”

His eyes, though soft and kind, had a look of determination. I flung my arms around his shoulders now, still coughing, hiccuping, and crying. I could hear his breathing getting heavier, too. I clutched his shirt, which was now soaking wet, in my hands, desperately trying to hold him down to earth.

“No one is ever ready to lose the ones they love,” Tanjiro said, his voice finally breaking. “Please, don’t be so hard on yourself for it. We’ve both lost so much. I hate that you have to lose more. And, I worry about Yoriichi every single day. He’ll learn to reconcile losing his father, but he cannot lose his mother. So, please, Kanao, tell me that you understand.”

“I understand,” I said hoarsely. “I just wanted you to see him grow up.”

“I wanted that, too,” he replied. “I wanted that more than anything in the world.”

We lost track of time on the floor like that. It felt like I cried forever. I hadn’t even cried that hard when Shinobu was killed. I was exhausted and I was pushing all my weight on him.

“Kanao,” Tanjiro continued after a while. “There's a lot that I still don’t know about the mark and about the other sun-breathers who manifested it. I think Kiriya might have some more information in the archives at the Butterfly Mansion. I’m going to write to him and see what else he knows. I’ll feel better if you had some more answers, that is, if there are more. I can’t promise that we’ll like the answers, but would it bring you some solace if you knew what to expect?”

“I… I guess so…”

“Okay,” he concluded. “I’ve already written the letter, I just have to send it tomorrow. I’ll have to send it by post because we don’t have our crows anymore, and that will mean it will take longer to get to him. So, we’ll just have to wait a while and be strong. Can you do that?”

“Yes.”

He buried his nose in my neck. “Thank you.”

“I love you, Tanjiro.”

“I love you, too, Kanao Kamado.”

When we finally stood up, I went to our room to take a nap. I decided to just call Mrs. Kuragi later and ask her to take Yoriichi straight from school. When I looked behind me, Tanjiro was sitting on the couch again with his cup of tea, bundled up in a blanket. For some reason, I was still angry at him, even after telling him I loved him, even after all that emotion was released. Nezuko and Zenitsu were coming through the door now, holding Saki and chatting excitedly about her upcoming birthday.

“Brother!” Nezuko exclaimed in surprise. “You didn’t go to work?”

“Nope,” Tanjiro answered. “But, don’t worry, I’m not sick.”

I suddenly decided that I couldn’t even look at him. I had no more voice, no more tears, no more energy. I never took that relaxing bath. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Chapter Text

The First Lesson

Even several days after that confrontation, Kanao and I were still barely talking. It hurt unbearably to not be on speaking terms with my wife. I felt like I had done something horribly wrong, even though I knew it had to happen. In bed, we laid not facing each other. We weren’t making love or even kissing at all. Everyone else was starting to figure out something was wrong, and that included Yoriichi. Meals were like torture. I sat next to the love of my life, and she didn’t even acknowledge me. She only talked to Yoriichi when he still tried to play with his food. Finally, one night as I was cleaning up after dinner, Nezuko approached me.

“Brother, what happened?”

“Kanao’s angry at me.”

“What for?”

I told her about the whole incident. Nezuko listened patiently and then took my hands.

“It’s been difficult for all of us, brother. I’m your sister. I’m not ready to lose you, either. I always tell myself that when you go, you’ll see our parents and siblings and our fallen friends again,” she said. “But, that doesn’t make it any easier.”

“It’s just that… I never thought I’d hear her voice like that,” I sighed. “It wrenched me to my core. I didn’t recognize her at all. I thought we ended on an understanding, but she can barely even look at me. She won’t speak to me, either, and I don’t know why.”

“Maybe she doesn’t really know why herself. She has a lot of feelings to work through,” Nezuko offered. “Give her time, brother. She adores you beyond words.”

“But, how much time does she need?” I asked aloud. “By the time she does accept it, she might not have me for very long.”

“Was she really just mad at you for bearing the curse?” asked Nezuko.

“Yes, but I think the real root of the argument was Yoriichi,” I answered. “She wants me to live for his sake.”

“I see.”

“And, to be honest, I wish I could,” I whispered, my voice breaking.

Nezuko wrapped her arms around me. I felt so drained and hollow. I missed my wife, but she hadn’t gone anywhere. She was still there beside me, but like a ghost always just out of view. I’d say her name softly, lovingly, and she’d walk away from me. It broke my heart. I couldn’t focus on anything. I had called in sick to work so many days saying she was the one who was ill, not me. Of course, Mr. Takeda couldn’t see my face puffing up through the phone. I had a lot of time to spend with Yoriichi, but he was distracted, too. It was tearing me apart. I was not going to let my last years with Kanao be like this. If anything, when the time would come for me to die, I wanted it to be in her arms. Nezuko squeezed me tighter. I tried to imagine that she was Kanao. A sibling’s embrace was not the same as a lover’s, though. Nezuko didn’t hug like Kanao. I still appreciated it, but it didn’t give me what I needed.

“Brother, you have to go to work tomorrow,” Nezuko whispered. “I know you’re worried about Kanao, but she needs her space and you need to do your job.”

“All right,” I sighed shakily. “Keep an eye out for my letter back from Kiriya. I assume he’ll still send it with a crow, even though they’re not in use anymore.”

“Of course, brother.”

“Tell Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Aoi not to worry about me,” I added. “Or, they’ll worry about me anyway, so just tell them not to get involved.”

“Trust me, Zenitsu and Aoi already know that. If Inosuke doesn’t, Aoi will keep him from saying anything,” Nezuko replied. “What are you going to do now?”

“To be honest, I think I’m going to go to the onsen.”

“By yourself?”

“Yes… because I don’t want to disturb anyone. I need to decompress on my own.”

“Okay, good luck, brother.”

I trudged off, unsure of what I really wanted to do. The onsen seemed like an okay idea at first. Halfway down the mountain, I suddenly tripped and slid in the snow. When I caught myself, I found myself panting. I looked down at my feet. They had spread apart when I caught myself from sliding, and I saw the drag in the snow they created. I saw the rock of the mountainside poking out underneath. Was the world falling out from under my feet? That was exactly what would happen if I lost Kanao. I shuddered from head to toe. Was that really what this was coming to? I broke out into cold sweat, then started to hyperventilate. The thought quickly consumed me. In the end, I never made it to the onsen. I just stumbled around in the snow for an unknown amount of time. I made myself sick from the overthinking. I threw up into the snow twice, then walked back home. I barely made it there. Aoi determined I had a fever. I’d endured a lot of pain in my life, but this internal panic was still some of the worst.

The next day at work, the other councilmen were happy to see me. However, they noticed how haggard I looked. I went to my office and found Mr. Takeda waiting for me.

“Oh, Kamado,” he said. “A letter came for you a couple days ago.”

I perked up for the first time in days.

“From who?”

“It doesn’t say, it’s just sealed with a wisteria branch.”

Wisteria was the symbol of the Demon Slayer Corps. It was Kiriya’s letter! He must have not sent it with a crow. I had sent it from the council building, so that was where it came back to. It made sense now. Mr. Takeda handed it over to me. As soon as he left the office, I opened it up and started reading. My pulse was pounding so hard, it took all my patience to get through it slowly.

Dear Tanjiro,

Thank you for your letter asking for more information about the curse of manifesting the mark. After receiving it, I took it upon myself to explore our archives. I regret to inform you that very little record of Yoriichi Tsugikuni and the original sun-breathers remains, and most of what we do possess is either incomplete or illegible. The common age of death, twenty-five, is all that is known for certain. We do not have any information on the families of the first sun-breathers, so I unfortunately cannot answer your question as to whether the curse has an affect on the bearer’s fertility. However, I can say that I have recently been in contact with the respective widows of Sanemi Shinazugawa and Giyu Tomioka. I am able to share with you that Giyu only had one son, much like yourself, before passing away, and Sanemi had twins, a son and a daughter. Despite the fact that Sanemi left two children behind, it is notable that twins are, of course, conceived at the same time. I understand that this does not provide a conclusion, but it is evidence to suggest that your theory may be valid.

Additionally, referring back to the records we have about the first sun-breathers, there is no information regarding the individuals that were killed in battle in comparison to those who died at twenty-five naturally. I can provide that both Sanemi and Giyu’s widows shared with me that their respective husbands started experiencing mysterious ailments around the last year of their lives and then fell gravely ill in the last few months specifically. Mrs. Tomioka reported that Giyu suffered from frequent fevers leading up to his death while Mrs. Shinazugawa claims that Sanemi displayed severe respiratory symptoms. Most interesting to note, however, is that, in both cases, doctors were unable to find any natural causes for their conditions. Both Sanemi and Giyu were in otherwise perfect health when they passed away. I should also pass along that the curse did not take effect exactly on their twenty-fifth birthdays. Giyu passed three months after reaching twenty-five while Sanemi survived almost a full year, passing a month before he would have turned twenty-six. In light of all of this information, I would like to extend a request.

I would like to invite you to the Butterfly Mansion to meet with me personally about this matter. It is worth noting that Yoriichi Tsugikuni, the founder of sun-breathing, outlived the curse completely and died at eighty. It is also notable that, out of all known sun-breathers on record, your abilities were by far the closest to his. I encourage you not to jump to the conclusion that this means you are also exempt from the curse. However, there is one particular matter that sets you apart from Giyu, Sanemi, and all the historical sun-breathers. This is the antidote in Lady Tamayo’s anti-demon medicine that still resides in your blood. I hope it pleases you to know that I am now close friends with Yushiro, Lady Tamayo’s former assistant. I have reached out to him to discuss whether the medicine may have abilities that Lady Tamayo was not aware of. Yushiro cannot meet with us in person, but, once I receive his reply, I will be able to share his answers with you. Wait for my second letter, then we can officially arrange a meeting. Hopefully, I can supply you with good news, but we must remain skeptical. Please, give my regards to your wife Kanao, and your sister Nezuko. I imagine that this must be a very difficult time for both of them, as well as all of you.

Kiriya Ubuyashiki

I stared at the letter, rereading it several times, trying to process everything. First, I finally had confirmation about Giyu and Shinazugawa’s deaths. Why hadn’t I heard anything from Giyu’s wife? Maybe she was trying to sweep grief under the rug as well. Still, I would’ve liked to have confirmation when it happened. Second, there was what Kiriya said about “mysterious ailments.” I assumed that meant the illnesses were random or unexplained. I thought back to the other day, when I was throwing up and had a fever. Would that be unexplained? I guessed that the fever was from being out in the cold for too long, and the nausea could’ve been caused by my emotions. Finally, Kiriya mentioned the antidote in Tamayo’s medicine. It was an unprecedented feat of science, so maybe it was possible. Now, I just had to wait for Kiriya’s next letter. And, he mentioned Yushiro. I was glad to know he was doing all right.

I couldn’t do any work for an hour. I just sat and thought about everything. I still had no answer about the infertility Kanao and I were experiencing. There were a lot of potential reasons as to why Giyu and Shinazugawa didn’t have more children. Maybe the curse wasn’t the cause. Maybe it was the antidote, or that I had been a demon. The question was if Nezuko and Zenitsu would have any more children after Saki, considering how both those factors applied to Nezuko, too. I thought about whether I should show Kanao the letter. The part about “mysterious ailments” would definitely make her panic. There was no choice. I would have to keep her in the dark until after I came back from the Butterfly Mansion, but that would also make the rift between us even deeper. I sunk my face into my hand. This letter had arrived days ago, so maybe the second letter wasn’t far off. That meant I wouldn’t have to wait very long. I couldn’t take much more of Kanao acting like this. Yoriichi had been quiet for days. He was so smart. The last thing I wanted was for him to find out what was going on.

Later, I got a call on my office phone. I hated answering it, but I had to because it was for business. I also really hated the way I had to address myself on the phone.

“Hello, you’ve reached Councilman Tanjiro Kamado.”

“Hello, brother, it’s Nezuko.”

“Oh!” I exclaimed in surprise. “What is it?”

“Kanao just wanted to see if you could pick up Yoriichi from school.”

I felt my fingertips go slightly numb with anxiety.

“Why does she need me to do it? Is she all right?”

“That’s all she said.”

Before I could say any more, Nezuko hung up. I’d have to clock out early to go to the school. But, this was a pivotal opportunity. Yoriichi had been distant ever since the confrontation, and I needed to know how he was doing. So, Mr. Takeda let me leave work early, and I went to pick up my son. I held his hand as we walked up the mountain together, and I tried my best to sound happy.

“Did you have fun at school today?” I asked him.

“Yeah.”

“Did you play with Sei?”

“Yeah.”

“What kind of games did you play?”

“Crayons, tag, and toys.”

“What did your teacher have you learn today?”

“Counting.”

It was like pulling teeth. He was normally so chatty. My fake smile was starting to fade. I struggled to keep a conversation with my own child. That wasn’t right. If I couldn’t speak openly with him, what kind of father was I?

“Daddy,” Yoriichi said suddenly. “Is Mommy sad?”

I thought very hard about how to answer that question. I didn’t believe in outwardly lying to him, but, at the same time, I understood there were things he didn’t need to know yet. He also needed to understand being human, though. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“Mommy is angry at me,” I said slowly.

“But, Mommy loves you,” Yoriichi said. “She told me.”

“Yes, but sometimes even people who love each other can be angry at each other,” I told him. “Being angry at someone isn’t good, but everybody gets angry.”

“Why is Mommy angry?”

“Well, that’s between Mommy and Daddy,” I said. “But, even when Mommy and Daddy are angry at each other, we still love each other. And, we love you very much, Yoriichi.”

“Why did you name me ‘Yoriichi?’”

He changed the subject, and I was relieved.

“You were named after a great man who helped our family many, many years ago.”

“Everyone at school says I have a funny name,” said Yoriichi. “But, not Sei.”

“You never told us that, kiddo,” I replied.

“It doesn’t hurt my feelings,” he explained further. “It’s just weird.”

He grew quiet after that. I waited for him to say more. I wondered if he was just masking how he really felt so I wouldn’t worry. He was a smart kid, but he was also very straightforward.

“Daddy, how did you meet Mommy?”

A real smile formed for the first time in days.

“Well, I was running through the forest, and Mommy jumped up from behind and kicked me in the back.”

“Really?” Yoriichi started laughing. “Why did she do that?”

“We were both looking for monsters,” I said.

“And, she thought you were one?”

“I guess so.”

Yoriichi giggled for a while. The sound of it soothed my soul, but it saddened me to hear to what extent he was aware of what was going on between me and Kanao. I looked at him now. With his hair pulled back in a bun, he looked older than four. Kanao kept his hair shoulder-length on purpose so he’d throw less of a tantrum when she had to comb or cut it. It actually did work. He also talked like he was older than four. His friend, Sei, was definitely behind, but maybe that was the reason they got along. Yoriichi was a learner and a thinker. He was constantly asking questions, he was insightful beyond his age, and, aside from his typical toddler difficulties and his headstrong nature, he really was a kind, caring child. Light was always dancing in his eyes and on his face. Would all of that drain away when I was gone?

When we reached the house, we found Zenitsu and Nezuko at the kitchen table, trying to feed Saki solid food with a soup spoon. They were being very dramatic about it.

“Saki, my dear, my dear!” Nezuko cooed. “Open wide!”

“Because on your birthday, you can taste your cake, dumpling!” gushed Zenitsu.

Saki sat on Nezuko’s hip, just burbling. Nezuko pretended the spoon was a train, but Saki would not open her mouth. She and Zenitsu continued to make weird sounds and call Saki mushy names. I felt my eyebrow twitch, but Yoriichi wasn’t bothered by it and went straight for his toys in the living room. Nezuko looked up at me.

“Hello, brother!”

“Where’s Kanao?” was the only thing I wanted to know.

“I think she’s out by the garden,” Zenitsu answered. “She said something about that snake of hers.”

I told the two of them to look after Yoriichi while I went out back to the garden. Kanao was sitting on the back steps, with Kaburamaru curled up in her lap. Only, something felt wrong. Normally, Kaburamaru slithered all over Kanao’s arms and shoulders happily. But, this time, he was just curled up.

“Kanao?” I called to her gently.

She didn’t look up at me. “Tanjiro… Kaburamaru is dead.”

I took a sharp inhale. Her voice was sad, but she didn’t sound like she’d been crying. She just looked down at the lifeless Kaburamaru.

“I’m sorry, Kanao,” I whispered. “We weren’t really sure how old he was. Maybe it was just his time.”

“Do you think that animals go to the same world after as we do?” Kanao wondered aloud. “Do you think he was reunited with Iguro?”

“I’m certain they do, and he’s definitely with Iguro right now,” I answered. “And, Iguro would be very happy to know you took such great care of him, and that he had a good life before he passed. Both of them have found peace now.”

“I didn’t expect Kaburamaru to die so soon,” Kanao went on. “It’s like I have no reason to come to this garden anymore.”

“Don’t think of it like that,” I said. “What about Nezuko’s beautiful plants and flowers? We eat what comes out of this garden. We all tend to it together. No, it won’t be the same without Kaburamaru, but the flowers and plants will still bloom and grow. Life will go on. And, we’ll all still feel his presence here.”

She became quiet again. I didn’t try to sit next to her because I was afraid she’d push me away or get up and move. I couldn’t bear either of those reactions at the moment. I sat a few feet away from her. She just kept looking at her lap.

“Kanao… I got my letter back from Kiriya,” I announced. “He wants me to come to the Butterfly Mansion in person to talk about it. I’m waiting for him to send another letter with the date he wants me to come, and then I’m going to leave for about a week. When I come back, I’ll hopefully know more.”

She slowly turned her head towards me and looked at me for the first time in days. Her dull eyes sent several spears into my heart. What had happened to her? What had I done wrong? I thought I’d been as gentle and loving as possible during the confrontation. But, at least she was looking at me again.

“When you go, bring Kaburamaru with you,” she said. “He deserves to be buried with his original owner.”

“Okay.”

Kanao still seemed distant, but she held my gaze. Staring into her eyes had always been easy, but today, I felt like I had to strain.

“Tanjiro, why am I not grieving over Kaburamaru?” she asked quietly.

“Well, I can’t answer that for you.”

“I feel like I should be weeping.”

“It’s perfectly all right if you don’t. We don’t always cry when we’re sad.”

“Is it because he was just a snake, and not family?”

“No, not family,” I said. “But, there’s no doubt that he was a friend.”

A single tear fell down her cheek, as if on cue. I was still afraid to move closer. I knew when she needed the lead. I wasn’t going to try to hold her if her body language or scent suggested that she didn’t want me to. It took every ounce of strength to resist reaching for her hand, but I held myself back. With one hand, she dried her tears, and with the other, she cupped Kaburamaru’s body so it wouldn’t fall out of her lap.

“Tanjiro…” she breathed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ve been a horrible wife.”

“No, you haven’t,” I replied. “We just… forgot how to communicate. That happens from time to time. But, we can pull through it. That’s what marriage is all about.”

She let out a tiny giggle, but more like a “hmm-hmm,” and she didn’t smile.

“Did Kiriya send you this letter today?” she said instead.

“Actually, he sent it to my work office,” I explained. “Because I was out for a few days, I didn’t get it until today. It probably came several days ago, so the second letter shouldn’t be that far off.”

“You’ll really be gone for a whole week?”

“Probably around that time. But, that’s not that much longer than my business trips. Will you be all right?”

“I’ll miss you terribly, just like I always do.”

“And, I’ll miss you terribly, just like I always do.”

“Was Yoriichi all right when you picked him up?”

“Yes, he’s fine,” I said. “But, he knows something’s wrong, Kanao.”

“Of course, he does. He’s very bright,” Kanao replied. “He’s just like you.”

“He’s more like you than you realize,” I returned, finally cracking a hint of a smile.

“I see far more of you in him. Not just because he looks like you,” Kanao said. “It’s that fire that burns in you both.”

She reached out with her free hand and took mine. It was the first time we’d touched in days. I could still smell that she did not want any hugging or kissing, but I was thrilled that she was holding my hand. She took a deep breath in, then looked back down at her lap.

“I’m going to put Kaburamaru in a box,” she said. “Actually… I think the easier thing to do would be to cremate him. He’ll be easier for you to carry that way. But, I don’t know if that’s what Iguro would’ve wanted for him.”

“I think it’s perfectly fine,” I said. “He was entrusted to you after Iguro’s death, so you do whatever you feel is best.”

The two of us sat there in the cold for a while, just holding hands. I didn’t try to sit closer to her, and she wouldn’t let go of Kaburamaru. After a few minutes, Yoriichi ran out to us asking what was for dinner, and he saw the snake in Kanao’s lap.

“What happened to Kabura?” he asked curiously.

That was Yoriichi’s first real lesson on death. Kanao and I calmly and gently explained in the simplest way possible that Kaburamaru was dead and he couldn’t come back. Yoriichi looked at both of us, then at Kaburamaru’s lifeless form, then back at us. He listened very intently, and he didn’t cry. He reached out and lightly tapped Kaburamaru’s head with his finger, and saw that he didn’t respond.

“Mommy,” Yoriichi finally said. “Does something happen after things die?”

“They go to the world after, sweetheart,” Kanao explained. “They're in a place where you can't see them, but their spirits are still around."

“Like my grandma and grandpa?”

“Yes, like your grandma and grandpa,” said Kanao.

“And, that’s everyone, Yoriichi,” I added. “Everyone good goes to the world after.”

“Okay,” he answered.

I knew he didn’t understand everything we told him, but he understood enough. He sat down between us, and to my amazement, he took both mine and Kanao’s hands. He looked up at us.

“We’re back together,” he announced.

In an instant, Kanao and I both burst into tears. Kanao had to bring her knees to her chest so that Kaburamaru’s body wouldn’t fall. We both threw our arms around Yoriichi, whose eyes were wide with surprise. He’d never seen the two of us cry before.

“Mommy, Daddy, are you sad because of Kabura?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Kanao sobbed. “Yes, we’re sad about Kabura, but we’re also happy to be a family.”

“You can cry when you’re happy, too, kiddo,” I added between breaths. “And, we’re very happy to have you.”

He was everything. He was the country, the world, the universe. Kanao was right. He did deserve more. I thought about Kiriya’s letter, and what he said about Lady Tamayo’s antidote. I couldn’t get my hopes up, but maybe there was a chance. Maybe there was a chance that Yoriichi would get the more he deserved.

Chapter Text

The Dawn Breaks

Before Tanjiro left for the Butterfly Mansion, Zenitsu gave him a hard time because he'd miss Saki’s first birthday. Tanjiro explained to him that he didn’t have a choice, but Zenitsu was still annoyed. Nezuko assured Tanjiro not to mind Zenitsu and that he was more worried about the grand celebration he had planned being altered rather than anything personal. Before Tanjiro set out on his trip, Yoriichi and I met him at the door.

“I’ll just be gone for a week, kiddo,” Tanjiro said while kneeling down to Yoriichi’s level. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Another business trip?” Yoriichi asked.

“Actually, I’m going to see an old friend,” explained Tanjiro with a small smile. “Maybe one day, you’ll get to meet him, too.”

“I love you, Daddy,” said Yoriichi as he ran into Tanjiro’s chest.

“I love you too, kiddo,” Tanjiro whispered back as he held him. “I’ll be thinking about you the whole time. Be good for Mommy.”

“Sweetheart, go back to the room,” I told Yoriichi. “I’ll be right there to put your school clothes on.”

Yoriichi trudged away, pouting. “My school clothes look stupid.”

“Hey, that’s not a nice word!” Tanjiro called after him, but then he turned to me. “They really do, though…”

He was trying to make light of everything, but I wasn’t feeling it. His fraction of a smile faded away, and we stood in the doorway just looking at each other. The silence weighed us both down, and we couldn’t move.

“Why won’t you tell me what Kiriya’s first letter said?” I asked.

“Because, I don’t want to give you any kind of expectations.”

“But, this is leaving me in the dark.”

“Kanao,” he breathed. “I know this is hard… but you have to be prepared for any kind of news I might come home with.”

“But, I should assume the worst to protect myself.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then, what should I do?”

“I… I don’t know,” he sighed. “Nothing I say right now is going to make anything better. I just need you to stay strong. Please, give me a kiss.”

He put his hand on my face and we both leaned, but the kiss contained very little passion. We touched lips and that was it. It was hesitant, almost nervous, to go any further than that. He stood up straight again and took a deep breath.

“I’m going now,” he said.

“Do you have Kaburamaru's ashes?”

“Yes, they're in my backpack pocket.”

“Good.”

“I love you, Kanao Kamado,” he said.

“I love you, too,” I replied.

He started to turn his back, but I wasn’t finished.

“Tanjiro, one more thing.”

He looked over his shoulder at me expectantly. My voice was caught in my throat, but I had to say it now or it wouldn’t be fair to him.

“Whatever happens, you have changed my life for the better and brought it more beauty than I ever knew existed in this world.”

The look in his eyes softened. A sad smile appeared on his lips.

“You’ve done the same for me. I’ll be back in one week.”

With that, he walked away. Inside, I quivered uncontrollably, but outside, I was perfectly still. I couldn’t stare after him for long, because I had to get Yoriichi ready. I changed him into his school clothes and walked him down the mountain. He kept fidgeting with his shirt collar and saying, “humph.”

“Sweetheart, your collar needs to stay up.”

“But, I don’t want to go to school! I want to go with Daddy.”

“Daddy is leaving for something very important. He can’t take any of us with him.”

“Tell me about the monsters.”

“No, Yoriichi,” I sighed. “The monsters were very bad and very scary. It’s not a story for right now.”

“That’s what Daddy said, too.”

“So, if both me and Daddy say we’re not going to talk about it, then we’re not.”

“Daddy says you saved him from a monster.”

“Yoriichi, let’s talk about something else.”

He wouldn’t let it go. “Did Uncle Zenitsu and Auntie Nezuko fight monsters? Did Mr. and Mrs. Hashibira fight monsters?”

“We are not talking about monsters on the way to school,” I said firmly. “And, Yoriichi, you need to stop playing with your collar.”

“But, it’s so scratchy!” he whined.

Any day Tanjiro was gone resulted in difficulty with Yoriichi. I knew that he understood by now that the trips were something his father did regularly, but that never erased his insecurity. I also felt insecure when Tanjiro was absent. In the back of my mind, I had the irrational fear that I would never see him again.

A couple days later, we celebrated Saki’s first birthday with a big party. She finally ate solid food and Zenitsu made a dramatic show of applause.

“That’s right, my baby girl, we’re growing up already!” he gushed. “Soon you’re gonna be so big before Dada knows it!”

“How about not so fast, honey?” Nezuko laughed as she gave Saki another spoonful.

“Why do you have to talk to her like she’s an idiot?” Inosuke blurted out.

“What the…?!?! Ino…SUKE!” Aoi barked. “She is an infant!”

“Babies like it when you talk like that to them,” I chimed in. “Remember when Yoriichi was a baby? I did the same thing.”

Yoriichi’s eyes went wide. “I was a baby?!?!”

Everyone at the table laughed. I appreciated the gratuitous theatrics for once. It took my mind off everything, even if it was only for a few hours. After dinner, I let Yoriichi have dango, because everyone else was eating dessert.

“Maybe Yoriichi has a sweet tooth because you craved so much mochi while you were pregnant with him, Kanao,” joked Nezuko.

I laughed genuinely. “That would make sense.”

“Oh, no,” Zenitsu said suddenly. “Does that mean Saki is going to end up as a voracious carnivore because of all the barbecue that Nezuko craved?!?! Meat is very expensive!”

“Relax, sweetie, I was just joking,” Nezuko assured him and patted his head.

The party was fun, but it was the only fun day that whole week. The night after that, I had to cut Yoriichi’s hair and endure the screaming that ensued.

“Yoriichi, sweetheart…” I was doing the best I could, but my patience was stretched thin. “Mommy is not trying to hurt you. I’m trying my best to be gentle. I’m only going to cut it a little bit, but I’m going to have to touch your head.”

“I hate this! I hate this!” Yoriichi wailed.

“What did you promise Daddy?” I reminded him. “You promised him that you’d be good. I’m going to have to tell him if you don’t settle down.”

“Let me do it! Let me do it!”

“No, you’re not cutting your own hair yet,” I sighed. “When you’re older.”

I snipped off what needed to be cut with one motion, then Yoriichi started bawling. I was frustrated, but I got on my knees and comforted him.

“Yoriichi, we can’t fight like this anymore,” I said tiredly. “Washing and cutting your hair is something we need to do.”

“It’s so scary!” he sobbed.

I was surprised. “How is it scary?”

“I don’t know!”

I thought for a minute. “What are you really upset about, Yoriichi?”

“I miss Daddy,” he wailed. “I don’t like when he goes away!”

“I miss him, too, sweetheart,” I said. “But, he’ll come back. Daddy loves you so much.”

“And, Daddy loves you?”

“Yes, he loves me,” I whispered. “Mommy and Daddy will always love each other.”

“Okay, okay,” Yoriichi shuddered.

After that episode, he ran right back into the living room and found Aoi cleaning up from dinner.

“Mrs. Hashibira,” he asked, still wiping tears out of his eyes. “Can I borrow a story?”

“Of course you can, Yoriichi,” she answered kindly, and went into her room.

She came back with a stack of books and held them out to him. These were the books she taught Inosuke how to read with. I knew immediately which one Yoriichi would choose. It was a children’s book with mostly very detailed pictures and not many words. It wasn’t that he couldn’t read well. His reading ability was advanced. He just liked making up his own stories about the pictures.

He said, “Thank you, Mrs. Hashibira,” and came back towards me.

“I don’t know, Yoriichi,” I said. “You were not good getting your hair cut, I don’t know if we get a story tonight.”

“Please, Mommy?”

I often wondered if his head was the complete opposite of his father’s. Tanjiro’s head was hard as a rock, but Yoriichi probably had very sensitive skin on his head. His hair was thin, like mine. I didn’t think he was just throwing fits.

“Okay,” I gave in.

We laid swaddled in bed and I listened to Yoriichi’s wild stories. He was so happy when he told stories, and it did make me smile. After just one picture, he put the book down and turned his head to me.

“Mommy, Daddy told me how he met you.”

“He did? What did he say?”

“He said you kicked him.”

I chuckled. “That is true.”

“Why did you kick him if you loved him?” Yoriichi asked.

“We had just met. I didn’t love him yet.”

“You didn’t know you were going to love him?”

“Nope,” I answered. “You never know who you’re going to love. That’s why it’s amazing when you realize you do love them.”

“Is Daddy visiting a friend that also fought monsters?”

“Yoriichi,” I sighed again, leaning closer. “We can’t talk about monsters right now. But, Mommy and Daddy will tell you everything one day.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, and Daddy does, too. Because, you deserve to know.”

“Okay.”

I wished we had never told Yoriichi about the “monsters” so early, but I understood why. It was obvious that Tanjiro had an arm that didn’t work, and both me and him had scars. This was the truth our family lived. To lie or censor what we lived through would be a dishonor to our children. Yoriichi, Saki, and any other future children would know about the demons when they were old enough. That was never a question. But, Yoriichi, who asked a thousand questions a day, was always fixated on it. I was worried that he’d tell Saki too early. As far as I knew, Yoriichi hadn’t told Sei anything about the “monsters.” I hadn’t gotten any calls from his teacher, which meant he wasn’t talking about it at school. I wondered if he fixated on it just because he loved and looked up to his father so much. He thought it was all a fairytale and Tanjiro was the hero. He eventually fell asleep, but I was still awake. I was thinking about Yoriichi’s innocence, and whether I ever had any.

On the day Tanjiro was supposed to be home, he was very late. Yoriichi went to bed right after dinner. He begged to stay up for Tanjiro to come home, but I didn’t let him. First, the hours were ticking by. Second, it was a serious moment. Once I knew he was asleep, I joined the others in the living room as we waited. Nezuko was pacing the floor just as much as I was. She eventually plopped down on the couch next to Zenitsu and laid her head in his lap. Inosuke ravaged through the snacks in an effort to quell his own anxiety.

“Dear,” Aoi called to him softly. “Have some tea instead.”

“Tea never relaxes me!” Inosuke harrumphed. “What’s taking him so long?”

“Did he tell any of you what Kiriya’s first letter said?” I asked the room.

“No,” Nezuko answered. “He didn’t want anyone to know.”

“I didn’t even find out what this is about!” Inosuke grumbled. “He wants to know more about what that curse is going to do to him? What more does he need to know about that?”

Aoi hustled over and touched his arm and shoulder.

“Inosuke, the children are sleeping. Please, no shouting.”

He popped off his boar hide. “But, I thought it was all pretty obvious. There’s something else now?”

“Dear,” Aoi chided gently.

She knew perfectly well that Tanjiro was doing this for me. I felt like I had burdened him. I was sunken into the chair with my head in my hands when we heard the unmistakable sound of snow crunching beneath feet outside. Then, the door opened slowly and noiselessly. We all looked up. Tanjiro was home.

“Brother!” Nezuko gasped and sat up.

“I’m back,” he called out and cracked a small smile.

I stood up from my seat. “How was the trip?”

“It was all right,” he replied. “Where’s Yoriichi?”

“He’s asleep.”

“Good.”

Pretty soon, we were all kneeling on the floor together in a circle. I sat tentatively next to my husband, waiting for him to speak. He was taking an excruciatingly long time. Before we sat down, Aoi gave him some tea. He took a few minutes, warming up from the cold with it. Finally, he finished it, set the cup down beside him, and took a deep breath.

“As you all know,” he began. “I went back to the Butterfly Mansion to learn more about the curse of manifesting the mark. There were specific questions I asked Kiriya in my letter, and he answered far more than I expected him to. First, he told me, based on information he learned from the widows of Giyu Tomioka and Sanemi Shinazugawa, that the curse starts to manifest as unexplained illnesses starting six months to a year before the bearer’s death. These unexplained illnesses have no other natural causes, which indicates that the curse is starting to take hold.”

“Oh, my…” Nezuko breathed. “That fever you had…”

“That fever was explained,” Tanjiro assured her. “Kiriya described how the symptoms Giyu and Shinazugawa experienced were severe in nature and chronic. I even told him about the fever I had, and he said that it didn’t fit the description at all. If I start to have severe and chronic illnesses that have no explanation for them, then that’s how we’ll know if I’m nearing the end of my life. I’m still not twenty-four, so there is some time. Kariya also told me that neither Giyu nor Shinazugawa died on their birthdays. In fact, Shinazugawa lived a month shy of turning twenty-six. It could still be a while before I start displaying mysterious symptoms.”

I was hanging on his every word, sweating cold sweat, and slowly shattering to pieces on the inside the more he spoke. I felt like throwing something. The thought of smashing something breakable at the wall out of the unfairness of it all would not leave my mind. My hand, as shaky as it was, started to reach for his empty cup.

“There’s one more thing, though…” Tanjiro said suddenly.

The other five of us froze. Nezuko brought her hand to her mouth. Tanjiro looked around at all of us, but his eyes wouldn’t rest on me. He ran his hand through his hair. I could see every detail on his face. He was thinking about how he wanted to say whatever it was. My fingers were still clenched around the cup, waiting.

“Kiriya pointed out that the antidote in Lady Tamayo’s medicine, which turned me back into a human when I became a demon at the final battle, was a medical breakthrough completely unprecedented and unheard of prior to its creation. He suspected that it had extra properties Lady Tamayo wasn’t testing for when she created it, so he contacted Yushiro, her old assistant. Yushiro sent Kiriya a complete analysis of the medicine. Through that analysis, he concluded that the antibodies were far more powerful than Lady Tamayo could’ve foreseen. With Kiriya’s help, I tested my own blood several times while at the Butterfly Mansion, according to the instructions that Yushiro wrote in his letter. What Kiriya and I found in the test results was a breakthrough. Lady Tamayo’s medicine is strong enough to delay the curse of the mark for a limited amount of time. We estimated that it can extend my life for up to ten extra years.”

Silence fell over the room like a curtain. The five of us kept staring at Tanjiro. Slowly, the broken pieces in my body began to repair themselves one by one, my heart came alive, and my brain, though still in disbelief, turned every last word he had said over and over again until they registered.

“Now, it’s still impossible to say for certain…” Tanjiro continued, but he never finished that sentence.

My hand forgot the cup. Instead, I reached up with both hands and clapped them to his cheeks. I brought his face to mine and planted my lips on his. In that moment, I didn’t remember that we didn’t like kissing in front of the others. I didn’t remember that the others were there at all. His arm swooped around me, his hand in my hair. He kissed me back so wonderfully. There was no stopping my tears, either. He was crying, too. There were no words to describe the relief and joy spreading through every cell in my body. Tanjiro was still here.

We only broke apart when we couldn’t breathe. Then, I collapsed right into him, bawling like I never had before. He held me as if I was the most precious thing in the world.

“Yes, Kanao, I know…” he whispered. “I know, my love, I’m here.”

His voice was shaky from crying, but I knew he had a smile, too.

“N-Now…” I sputtered out. “He’ll get what he deserves. He’ll have his father in his life.”

“I can’t wait to be in it,” he replied.

I didn’t want to let go of him, but Nezuko approached us. She was also crying.

“Brother,” she said. “How about hugs for your sister?”

“Of course,” Tanjiro replied and wrapped his arm around her.

“I’m so relieved, brother,” Nezuko cried into his shoulder. “I prayed to our family all the time for a second chance. I knew they’d come through. They always have.”

Just then, I realized my mistake. I had always prayed to the gods to save Tanjiro. But, of course, those prayers fell on deaf ears. It wasn’t the divines that could save something like life or love. It was only family that could do that. I had only believed in the gods because I assumed it was them who brought Tanjiro to me. That was false, because, however indirectly, it was actually Kanae and Shinobu who set that into motion. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and laughed at my own stupidity.

“No one wanted to lose you so soon!” Zenitsu joined in.

“Yeah, yeah!” Inosuke seconded.

Zenitsu thumped Tanjiro on his bad shoulder and Inosuke nearly crushed him with a giant bear hug. Then they both started ruffling his hair.

“Hey, hey!” exclaimed Tanjiro with a laugh. “Easy, guys, easy!”

Everyone was crying and cheering. I knew what Tanjiro was going to say before I cut him off. It was impossible to say for certain what else could happen in those ten years. I figured that there would probably be many trips back to the Butterfly Mansion in the future, just to keep checking. But, that wasn’t the point. Now, Tanjiro could have all the difficult conversations he wanted to have with Yoriichi. Now, he could be there for all the difficult years of Yoriichi’s life. In my head, I said many prayers to Lady Tamayo, for making this possible. My heart was beating again, stronger and louder than ever.

“Mommy, are you having a party?”

I whipped around to see Yoriichi’s head poking out of our bedroom doorway. My jaw fell open. We had woken him up.

“Oh, sweetheart…” I started. “I…”

Then, Yoriichi’s eyes lit up and he grinned from ear to ear.

“DADDY!”

He sprinted out of our room and threw himself into Tanjiro so hard he knocked him over. The two of them laughed together on the floor.

“Woah, kiddo, that’s too rough,” Tanjiro managed.

Soon, I was in the pile with them. Tanjiro and I had Yoriichi pressed between us. He didn’t know why we were hugging, of course. His dad was home, and that was all that mattered to him right now. I was finally going to sleep well tonight, and I was sure the dawn would be lovely the next morning.

Chapter Text

Family II

New Beginnings

The weight of the world had temporarily lifted off our shoulders. Ten years wasn’t forever, but we, together as family, were going to make them seem like forever. The sun shone brighter after that day. Within a couple years, everything was blissful and carefree once again. Tanjiro turned twenty-four, then twenty-five. Though the eve of his twenty-sixth birthday was wrought with anxiety, it passed, as did his twenty-seventh. In that time, Zenitsu and Nezuko welcomed their second child, another girl, born on June tenth. They named her Isuzu Agatsuma, and she, like her sister, had thick, wavy, black hair accented by blonde ends. The fact that Nezuko had a second baby debunked our theory that our infertility was the result of Tanjiro having been a demon or from the antidote. Therefore, Tanjiro was fully convinced it had to do with the curse. I still disagreed, but there was no changing his mind. So, Tanjiro and I were no longer actively trying to have another baby. It would’ve been wonderful if we could, but we would always have Yoriichi.

The children were growing up fast. Saki was four, and had been remarkably easygoing as a toddler. Therefore, Nezuko and Zenitsu were in for a wakeup call when Isuzu, who just turned two, quickly developed an attitude. Worse, she inherited her father’s hearing, so all of us had to be careful. Saki’s face stayed a perfect blend of her parents’, while Isuzu definitely looked more like Nezuko. Yoriichi was seven now, four months away from eight. He still wore his shoulder-length hair in a bun, he still favored his red checkered shirt that matched his father’s green one, and, now that he was getting older, he looked more like Tanjiro than ever. Aside from the different texture of his hair, it wasn’t obvious that I was his mother at all. It was August, and he would go into a new grade in a few weeks. The only thing he was excited about was that he was still in the same class as Sei. He moped at the kitchen table with his head pressed down while I cooked a snack for us.

“Yoriichi, pick your head up,” I called out to him. “There’s no need for that.”

“School is annoying,” he mumbled.

“School is going to make you a better person,” I said. “Your father and I didn’t have the luxury of going to school.”

“I know, Mom,” he sighed. “You were both homeschooled and then you went to go fight the demons.”

He knew more of the story now, but far from everything. He was forbidden from talking about it around his cousins, especially because Isuzu had a habit of incessantly repeating everything she overheard. I placed his plate of tempura down in front of him and sat across from him patiently. He still wouldn’t pick up his head.

“Are you going to eat your snack?” I asked him.

He lifted his head just enough to eat and took a bite. I could tell he wasn’t really bothered by school coming up.

“Yoriichi, what are you really thinking about?”

“Dad’s never home anymore,” he said. “He goes to work, then has business trips, then he goes to that Butterfly Mansion place.”

“He has business trips every three months, and he only goes to the Butterfly Mansion two times a year,” I clarified. “And, when he’s gone, he’s never gone more than a week. He has done a lot in the last few years to adjust his schedule so that he’s home for all of us more often, but he has an important job. There’s only so much he can work around.”

“I want to go to this Butterfly Mansion place,” Yoriichi said.

“When you’re older, he’ll take you.”

“That’s what you guys say every time. How much older?”

“All right,” I declared firmly. “I’m not going to snack with you anymore if you’re gonna give me that.”

He took another bite of his tempura. He wouldn’t look at me.

“He’ll be home earlier today,” I reminded him with a smile.

“I want him home from work earlier every day,” Yoriichi pouted.

“I do, too,” I said.

The found family was back to work, even Nezuko. On the days she went to the doctor’s clinic, Zenitsu had to do his writing from home. They were making it work very efficiently, and Nezuko was happy to be back at the clinic helping Aoi. As for Aoi and Inosuke, they went out on dates a lot. They kept to themselves at home, but they were very affectionate with each other. Ever since Isuzu was born, the two of them escaped downtown a lot more often. It was probably just the crowding. It was understandable. Our original family of six was now a family of nine.

There was suddenly a rustling outside the door. Aoi briskly walked in and hastily took off her doctor’s coat.

“Mrs. Hashibira!” Yoriichi exclaimed.

“Kanao…” Aoi panted. “Could you grab me a glass of water?”

I jumped up to get the water while Aoi slumped down at the table. Yoriichi scooted closer to her and put his hand on her forehead.

“Do you have a fever, Mrs. Hashibira?”

“No, no, thank you, Yoriichi,” Aoi gasped. “It’s just very hot outside.”

I sat back down at the table and passed her the water.

“What are you doing home?” I asked.

“I didn’t feel well,” answered Aoi. “I don’t know how to describe it. I just had this feeling that something wasn’t right with me. I didn’t have that many appointments, so I just rescheduled them and came home. I didn’t expect it to be so hot out, though. It wasn’t this hot when I left this morning.”

“Inosuke is here today,” I said. “If you had just called the telephone…”

“Its name is Hiroshi,” Yoriichi interjected.

I ignored that. “We could have told Inosuke to come get you in the charcoal cart.”

“If Inosuke thinks I’m sick, he’ll treat it like I’m dying!” Aoi groaned. “He wouldn’t let me out of his sight.”

“That’s because he loves you, Aoi,” I reminded her with a smile. “It means he cares.”

“But, your husband doesn’t ask you five million questions about if what you have can kill you! Remember when that cut on my finger got infected last year? Inosuke bombarded me with things, like, ‘Will your finger fall off? If your finger falls off, will that get infected, too? Can an infection kill you? Will we have to cut off your whole hand?’ That kind of nonsense.”

At that moment, Inosuke came in, shirtless and without his hide, sooty from head to toe. When he saw Aoi sitting at the table, he gasped.

“Why are you home?” he demanded with concern.

“I just didn’t feel like myself, dear.”

“Then, who did you feel like? Someone not good?”

“Dear, it is a figure of speech, we’ve discussed what those are…”

“It’s blazing hot out there!” Inosuke continued. “And, I’m all covered in soot! Let’s take a bath and that will make you feel better!”

“Actually, that sounds nice,” Aoi said.

Inosuke helped her up and they walked to the bathroom together. Yoriichi turned to me.

“Why do they take a bath together?” he asked.

“Married people can do that,” I told him.

“Do you and Dad do that?”

“Sometimes. It’s not any different from how Dad takes baths with you, or about how we go to the onsen with our friends.”

“Okay,” replied Yoriichi.

I was pretty concerned about Aoi. It seemed like, because she was a doctor, she was never supposed to get sick herself. So, when she truly wasn’t well, we were all worried about her.

When Inosuke and Aoi came out of the bath later, they curled up on the couch together. Aoi drank some more water. Yoriichi gave them the leftover tempura we didn’t eat, and Inosuke was thrilled.

“Oh, sweet! Thanks, tiny Tanjiro!”

“Inosuke, you can call him by his real name,” Aoi chided.

“I don’t mind!” Yoriichi beamed. “Mr. Hashibira’s nicknames are the best! Give me more!”

Inosuke thought deeply for a minute. “How ‘bout ‘little Kamado kid?’ Nah. Ooh! ‘Peachy Yoriichi?’ No, that doesn’t make sense. I’m not good at doing this under pressure!”

“Don’t worry about it, Inosuke,” I said, placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Second Sun Warrior?” Inosuke kept going. “When I have to actually think about it, they all come out terrible!”

“I don’t get that one,” Yoriichi said.

He looked at me for clarification. I sucked in my breath. Tanjiro didn’t want Yoriichi to know about sun-breathing or Tsugikuni yet. We had told Yoriichi before that his name came from a person who helped the Kamado family, but never any more than that. Tanjiro had outlined me to how he wanted the reveal to go.

“When he’s eight, we’ll take him back out to the flowers and tell him they’re his family. We’ll tell him how they died, but not all the details. We’ll tell him about breathing and sword fighting and the Demon Slayer Corps. But, he shouldn’t tell him about Tsugikuni until he’s ten or eleven. We’ll tell him about Muzan Kibutsuji when he’s thirteen, and, right before I pass on, I’ll tell him the whole truth myself.”

“I think some of those can be consolidated,” I had told him. “Why can’t he know about the man he’s named after until he’s eleven?”

“Because, I don’t want him digging for more information,” Tanjiro had said. “If he learns about Tsugikuni too early, he’s going to find out about Kibutsuji too early. I don’t know if I could handle him knowing about that before I know how to tell him myself.”

“I understand that, but it will only make him angry if we keep him in the dark for too long,” I replied. “We both agree that he has the right to know eventually, and that includes not hiding the unpleasant and disturbing parts. So, why are you trying to structure it all of a sudden? Yoriichi is highly intelligent, and you know that. He’ll prove to us when he’s ready to know.”

“I stand by what I said about how he has the right to know, and about not sugar-coating anything,” Tanjiro said. “But, he should be a kid first. Neither of us got to be kids.”

I thought about that for a long time after we first had the conversation. It was true that we both wanted Yoriichi to have a normal childhood. However, I’d noticed a few small changes in Tanjiro recently. One in particular was a tendency to be overprotective of Yoriichi. His reveal schedule struck me as very overprotective, but I didn’t mention that to him that night. I figured that he’d either realize it was too rigid himself or Yoriichi would worm the information out of him anyway. I had a strong gut feeling it would end up being the latter. Now Inosuke put it out in the open innocuously, and I wanted to give Yoriichi some kind of answer. However, if Tanjiro found out that Yoriichi learned it from Inosuke, he’d be angry at Inosuke unfairly. I looked at Yoriichi hesitantly now, unsure of what to do.

“Dear,” Aoi said, gently taking Inosuke’s arm. “I think I’ll take a nap.”

“Yeah, sure!” Inosuke replied, suddenly forgetting all about the game. “Here, baby, let me carry you.”

“That won’t be necessary…”

Before she could finish, Inosuke swept her off the couch into his arms in one motion. Aoi squealed and tried to protest at first, but her head was on his shoulder in an instant. Placated, she closed her eyes and almost fell asleep just like that. Inosuke looked over his shoulder with a grin.

“We won’t be right back!”

Once they were out of view, Yoriichi turned back to me.

“Mom, what’s a sun warrior, and why am I the second one?”

“Mr. Hashibira was just making things up,” I told him.

“But, he was making up names for me,” Yoriichi pressed on. “Does it have something to do with fighting demons?”

I sighed. “Yes, but it’s very complicated.”

He scrunched up his face. “Is this another thing I don’t get to find out until I’m older?”

“Yoriichi, your father has reasons for everything he does,” I explained, kneeling down to his level. “You have to just trust that.”

“Why doesn’t Dad trust me?”

“Not everything has a nice story. Dad and I are not going to tell you anything we think is inappropriate. You’re only seven, sweetheart.”

“I’m gonna be eight soon!” Yoriichi retorted.

“Yes, you will be.”

I tried to hug him and kiss his cheek, but he wasn’t in the mood and trudged back to his room. The one room that had been empty was his now, although he’d have to share it with his cousins eventually. He still tried to sleep with me and Tanjiro frequently. When he was five and six, we often let it slide. But, it was clear that we had let it slide too often. We were being stricter now, but some nights Yoriichi would have a nightmare. He’d barge in, pleading and crying, and Tanjiro would still say yes, even if it was reluctant. I had asked him once why he still said yes.

“Well, if he’s sobbing that hard, I assume he really had a nightmare,” he had replied.

I gave him a very annoyed, dissatisfied look.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re becoming an enabler,” I said.

“Well, once he turns eight, he’s done.”

As I thought about that conversation, I stared after Yoriichi until he shut the door to his room. I knew he would ask Tanjiro about what Inosuke said. I didn’t think any harm would come out of him knowing. We gave him Tsugikuni’s name for a reason, but now Tanjiro thought he shouldn’t know why for four more years? That didn’t make sense to me. I hoped it was just a phase with Tanjiro, and that it would only last while Yoriichi was a child. Tanjiro had until he was thirty-five now. Yoriichi would be sixteen then. What kind of relationship would they build, now that they had the blessing to do so?

I was also glad Tanjiro was home earlier than usual that day. Making love somehow felt even better now. We blissfully laid in bed naked together, and it felt like everything was all right again. If one thing never changed at all, it was how much I loved his gorgeous hair. He gave me a tired, playful smile as I ran my fingers through it.

“You just can’t get enough of it,” he said.

“Never will.”

“Tell me what you’re really thinking.”

“What makes you think I’m thinking about anything other than you right now?”

“I know you,” he chuckled. “You touch my hair when you’re thinking about something.”

“Okay,” I began. “I’m thinking that we should probably show Yoriichi the flowers in the morning. I think he can handle it now, he doesn’t have to wait until he’s eight.”

Tanjiro sighed. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

So, maybe he was aware of how ridiculous his first plan was. That was good.

“You have the opportunity to see him grow now,” I reminded him. “Use that gift wisely.”

“What do I if he comes in crying because of a nightmare?”

“You can lie down with him in his bed for a few minutes,” I answered. “I don’t see any problem with that, for now. Like I just said, we need to allow him to grow.”

Yoriichi was a unique child. He taught us just as much as we taught him. I knew that Tanjiro still prayed to his father for guidance on how to raise Yoriichi. I could hear him out by the flowers talking on and on. I sometimes wondered if a new fear had arisen in him because of his extended life. It was the fear of not being a perfect father, the fear of wasting his blessing. I understood where it was coming from, but it still made me worry.

The next morning was a Sunday, so Tanjiro didn’t have to work. After breakfast, he told Yoriichi he had something to show him.

“Really?” Yoriichi’s face lit up. “Like a surprise?”

“Not exactly,” Tanjiro answered. “But, it’s something important that I want you to see.”

Yoriichi shrunk back and his smile faded.

“So, not anything fun?”

“No, not today.”

Yoriichi sighed, but he took Tanjiro’s hand as we led him out to the flowerbed. They were bright crimson and in full bloom, and they swayed in the warm breeze. The family was here, and they were listening. When he saw them, Yoriichi pouted.

“It’s just the special flowers?” he grumbled.

“I’m going to tell you why the flowers are special,” explained Tanjiro. “It’s because your family is buried here. Your grandmother, grandfather, and your aunt and your uncles.”

“What?” Yoriichi asked. “Buried? Like, they’re dead? And, what aunts and uncles? What about Auntie Nezuko and Uncle Zenitsu?”

“Auntie Nezuko and I had four other siblings, Takeo, Hanako, Shigeru, and Rokuta,” said Tanjiro. “But, many years ago, they, along with your grandmother, were all killed by a demon. I buried them here before I set off on my journey. Their spirits are always here, in this house, and on this mountain. They watch over all of us.”

“They were killed by a demon?” Yoriichi’s eyes were wide. “What happened?”

Tanjiro put his hand on Yoriichi’s shoulder. “It happened while I was selling charcoal in the village. I came home, and I found them after it was too late. Auntie Nezuko was badly hurt, and she barely survived. But, I destroyed the demon who did it, Yoriichi. And, now, these flowers bloom over the graves of your family and prove that their spirits are still here. This flower bed is sacred. Whenever you feel lost, Yoriichi, you can always find peace here.”

“Wow…” mused Yoriichi. “So, that’s why you became a demon slayer?”

“Yes,” Tanjiro answered. “But, my journey was worth it, because now I have you. I love you very much, and your family here would have loved you, too.”

Yoriichi looked up at me now. “Mom, why did you become a demon slayer?”

“Because my sisters were demon slayers,” I answered. “Before they took me in, I was a poor, homeless child. They gave me a purpose, and I wanted to follow in their footsteps.”

He stared down at the flowers, thinking about everything we said. I rested my hand on his shoulder, too. Something about the moment felt so familiar. It felt like it was from a dream long ago. Then, Yoriichi bent down and gently touched one of the flowers.

“They’re red, just like me,” he said.

“Exactly,” Tanjiro answered. “Because, they’re your family.”

“Mom, Dad, why do some people live and others don’t?”

“There’s no reason for that, sweetheart,” I told him. “Some things do happen for a reason, but not terrible things like that. But, sometimes, loss can change us for the better. It can inspire us to do better in our lives. That’s what Dad and I did.”

Yoriichi thought for a minute. “I don’t really get it.”

“You will in time,” Tanjiro said. “But, now you know the story.”

“But, there’s more, right?” Yoriichi pressed on.

“Yes, but that’s all for today, kiddo.”

“Dad, how am I the 'second sun warrior?'”

Tanjiro furrowed his brow. “Who called you that?”

“Mr. Hashibira.”

Tanjiro let out a groan and brought his face down into his hand. I was not going to let him omit this.

“Tell him, Tanjiro,” I said firmly.

“The man you were named after, Yoriichi Tsugikuni, was a special kind of demon slayer called a sun-breather,” sighed Tanjiro. “He lived over three hundred years ago, but, without him, the Kamado family wouldn’t have survived.”

“So, he saved us from a demon?”

“Yes, but that’s all I’m going to tell you now,” Tanjiro said. “The rest of his story is sad and scary. But, Yoriichi, Mr. Hashibira was only joking when he called you that. You will not be another sun-breather, because there are no more demons. We gave you Tsugikuni’s name to show our gratitude to him, but you have to choose your own path for yourself.”

“My own destiny?”

“Yes,” Tanjiro concluded. “And, you have the freedom to do that, because now we live in a peaceful world without any demons.”

“Okay,” replied Yoriichi. “I’m going inside.”

“Okay.”

Yoriichi went back into the house, and I turned back to Tanjiro.

“You didn’t tell him that his name means ‘destiny.’”

“That was way too much information for him,” he said while he stared at the ground. “I don’t want him to know that part yet, anyway. He might start to think that we wished some sort of grand life on him. He needs to grow up knowing that he can become whoever he wants, not thinking that he’s obligated to fulfill a certain role. That’s another reason I didn’t want to tell him about Tsugikuni for a while.”

Knowing Yoriichi, I agreed Tanjiro had a point. Still, I thought that Yoriichi might love to know what his name meant. I placed my hand on Tanjiro’s shoulder.

“Please, don’t be angry at Inosuke. He had no way of knowing.”

“I know… I’m not angry…” Tanjiro muttered. “By the way, where is Inosuke? He wasn’t at breakfast, and neither was Aoi. Usually, he’s chopping wood aggressively in the distance, but it’s suspiciously quiet.”

“Not sure,” I said. “Aoi wasn’t feeling well yesterday, so maybe they’re together?”

“I didn’t know Aoi was sick yesterday,” Tanjiro replied. “What happened?”

“I think she was just overheated. And, it’s getting hot now. Why don’t we go in, too?”

We went back inside to find Yoriichi in the kitchen rustling around for something. Zenitsu and Saki were sitting on the couch and playing a game with their hands. Saki looked up and got very excited when she saw us.

“Uncle Tanjiro! Auntie Kanao!”

“Hi, Saki,” Tanjiro said.

“What are you guys up to?” I asked.

“Oh, Nezuko took Isuzu into the room,” Zenitsu answered. “So, we’re getting some Saki and Daddy time out here!”

“Isuzu was naughty,” explained Saki. “She was so naughty, Mommy got mad.”

“Oh, dear,” Tanjiro said. “What did she do?”

“Saki, telling on other people isn’t nice, either,” explained Zenitsu. “If you must know, however, Isuzu threw a spoon across the room. Thankfully, it hit the chair.”

“Oh, my,” I said slowly.

At that moment, Nezuko came out of the room with a grumpy looking Isuzu. They had their hands full with her, that was for sure.

“Isuzu, what did we learn?” Zenitsu asked her.

“We don’t throw,” she grumbled back.

“Well, I think that went well,” sighed Nezuko. “Has anyone seen Aoi or Inosuke?”

“That’s what we were going to ask you guys,” Tanjiro said.

“Well, last I checked, Aoi was here,” Nezuko went on. “She didn’t feel well again. As for Inosuke, I haven’t seen him at all.”

“Inosuke went to go lie down in the river,” came Aoi’s voice from around the corner.

She walked into the living room, still in her night kimono, her hair disheveled like she had just woken up.

“Why is Inosuke lying down in the river?” Zenitsu asked with an eyebrow raised.

“He told me he needed to ‘cool off,’” Aoi explained. “That was all he said, and then he left, after I told him I’m pregnant.”

The rest of us sat in stunned silence.

“Wait… really?” Nezuko was the first to gasp.

“Yep, there’s gonna be a baby boar,” Aoi smiled at last. “Inosuke’s gonna be a dad. May the gods help us all…”

We all started cheering, even Yoriichi and Saki, who probably had no idea what any of it meant. Nezuko and I ran to hug Aoi. Later, when Inosuke finally came back, he was soaked and dripping water. He walked into the house like that. Aoi started scolding him for it, but he just kept walking toward her, sporting a massive grin. He gathered her into his arms and gave her a huge kiss.

“Ino…SUKE! You’re all wet!” Aoi barked, but she didn’t try to suppress her laughter.

Inosuke kept kissing her and kissing her. He was brimming with happiness.

“I gotta start making a boar hide for it!” he declared.

“Okay, now I’m worried…” sighed Aoi.

We all laughed again. The family was still growing.

Chapter Text

Father and Son

In December, Aoi was showing her baby bump pretty prominently already. She had awful morning sickness, far worse than Kanao or Nezuko. We were all concerned about her, especially Inosuke. He treated her like a queen. No one had ever seen him so tender. On the days when she was so dizzy she could barely move, Inosuke carried her everywhere. She was not able to work at all. She felt terrible about it, as she was the top doctor. She hated feeling like she was useless. She laid in Inosuke’s arms on the couch, and he gently rocked her. She panted constantly, which was especially concerning.

“Just hold me still, dear,” she breathed. “My head is still spinning.”

“Aoi, you have to go see a doctor,” Nezuko said to her.

“I am a doctor, I think I can diagnose myself,” Aoi replied. “I monitored Yoriichi, Saki, and Isuzu, and delivered all of them, too. I think I know what I’m doing.”

“Right, but you probably should let Dr. Watanabe do your tests,” insisted Nezuko. “You can do some of them yourself, but not all of them.”

“All right, I’ll go tomorrow, but I don’t know how I’m going to make it in this snow,” Aoi said. “Maybe I should just ask Dr. Watanabe to come up here.”

“I’ll bring you on the charcoal wagon, baby,” Inosuke offered. “Let’s go together.”

“That’s fair,” Aoi replied.

Nezuko was also sick that month. Therefore, it was a very rough December that year. Yoriichi’s eighth birthday at the beginning of the month was the only real highlight. I had to call in “sick” to work for several days because I was exposed to so much actual sickness, so one day I took a walk in the woods with Yoriichi to get away from the house. I made him wear a coat because I didn’t want him getting sick, too. He still fussed about it, of course. He was still practically immune to the cold. Sometimes, he astonished me. It was getting close to New Year’s, which was always a difficult time for me. It was when I lost my family.

“Dad, why are you so quiet?” Yoriichi asked as he plodded along in front of me.

“I’m thinking about my family that I lost,” I replied. “I lost them around this time. So, the end of December is hard for me emotionally.”

“But, you like the beginning of December because that’s my birthday, right?”

“Yes, the day you were born was the happiest day of my life, kiddo,” I finally smiled.

“Tell me more about the demon you defeated.”

“I defeated lots of demons.”

“Tell me about the one that killed your family.”

“Yoriichi,” I sighed. “Why do we always need to talk about demons?”

“I’m just curious.”

“The demon that killed my family was pure evil and the story is not appropriate for you right now. Why don’t I tell you more about the day you were born?”

“I already know about that,” Yoriichi revealed. “It was snowing outside, and I was born in the living room. Maybe that’s why it’s my favorite place to play.”

“What the…? Who told you that?!?!” I demanded. “You weren’t supposed to know that!”

“Uncle Zenitsu told me, and why is that bad?” Yoriichi looked over his shoulder.

I groaned. “You were born in the living room because Mom went into labor earlier than expected and there was no way we could’ve gotten the doctor to come up in the snow."

“But, why is it bad that Uncle Zenitsu told me? Why is that a bad thing to know?”

There was no end to his relentless stream of questions. There wasn’t a real reason why I didn’t want him to know he was born in our living room. I guessed I thought he’d find it gross, weird, or embarrassing, and never want to be in there again. Clearly, everything I assumed he’d care about, he didn’t. I wasn’t sure where all my assumptions were coming from, they were just things I considered. Maybe Kanao was right. Maybe he’d be ready to know the truth a lot earlier than I wanted him to be. But, there was one thing that wasn’t going to change. I wasn’t going to tell him about the curse until he was a teenager, until the last year of my life.

Kanao and I both knew that we wouldn’t get another ten years after these were up, but I hoped she was more willing to accept it now. It was the thought of losing me while Yoriichi was still a child that had been tearing her apart. I looked at Yoriichi now as he kicked up snow with every step, and I thought about what the next eight years would bring. What kind of person was he developing into? He was certainly precocious, which I sometimes thought I should be scared of. But, maybe that would also lead into something beautiful.

“It’s not a bad thing to know,” I told him. “I just thought that you’d find it embarrassing.”

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. I knew he was going to change the subject.

“So, Dad… How did Mrs. Hashibira get the baby?”

I tripped over my own feet three times and nearly choked on my own heart.

“Uh… what do you mean, Yoriichi?”

“It was the same with Isuzu,” Yoriichi went on. “Isuzu was in Auntie Nezuko’s belly, but no one said how she got there. It was like she just magically appeared. And, why does the baby magically appear inside your body?”

I broke out into cold sweat, which instantly froze in the winter air. Yoriichi noticed that I was standing still. I must have had a stunned expression, because he stopped and stared at me.

“Dad?” he repeated.

My ears were ringing. “I’m sorry, Yoriichi, but what did you just ask?”

“Why are babies inside the mom’s body?”

“Well, you should ask Mom that question,” I stammered out.

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“Because… Mom had you inside her body, so she knows better.”

“Do dads even do anything?”

In my head, I was screaming, DAMMIT! I should have known this question was coming when Aoi announced she was pregnant. But, he was only eight. I didn’t believe in lying to him, but Kanao wasn’t there to back me up. I had no choice but to fabricate something. I took a deep breath and frantically racked my brain for some kind of reference. It wasn’t the greatest, but I found one I thought was suitable. I tried my hardest to look him in the eye. I knew I was going to fail, but it was worth a shot.

“Well, you see, Yoriichi, there are magical watermelon seeds that a man gives to his wife to show that he really loves her. The watermelon seed grows into a baby. So, that’s how the baby gets inside the woman’s body and that’s why her belly keeps getting bigger.”

Yoriichi stared and blinked at me for a long time.

“Dad, why is your face exploding and your eyes not in the same place?”

“Because it’s cold,” I said, and felt my cheek puff even more. “Let’s go back home now and have something to eat.”

“Okay,” he said. “But, Dad, your eyes are kind of cool.”

He didn’t know I was blind in one eye. He didn’t know about Kanao’s vision impairment, either. That wasn’t necessarily something we didn’t want him to know. We just hadn’t told him. Part of me wanted to see how long it would take him to figure it out by himself. He never said anything about Zenitsu’s blonde hair, or anyone’s scars. He only asked me about my arm. He never assumed anything was wrong with anyone or anything. He was just genuinely curious. Mr. and Mrs. Kuragi had invited me and Kanao over for dinner last fall, and they told us about how Sei was painfully shy and would cry every time he had to go to school until he met Yoriichi. They mentioned that Yoriichi worked wonders for Sei. Yoriichi’s teacher described him as highly intelligent. However, Yoriichi didn’t try to bond with anyone besides Sei. I had asked him if it was because the other kids were still telling him that his name was “funny.”

Yoriichi had replied, “No, they’re just not interesting.”

“What do you mean, ‘not interesting?’” I had asked.

“I don’t know. Sei is cool because he plays different stuff.”

Kanao and I had tried to encourage him that even those other kids had things that made them different, but he still only played with Sei. We wondered if there was more going on he hadn’t told us about. He and Sei had an unbreakable friendship, at least that was for sure.

“Why do you think it is?” I had asked Kanao one night.

"I wouldn’t worry about it too much, yet," she replied. "Yes, I’d like him to make more friends, but he still has time.”

“All I’ve ever wanted is the best for him,” I mused.

“You have unconditional love for your son, Tanjiro,” Kanao had whispered with a smile. “So, you already give him the best there is.”

We had that conversation a few nights before. I still felt like there was more he deserved. I wanted him to get the most out of school so his future would be as limitless as possible. Yoriichi and I made it back to the house, and found everyone gathered in the living room. Aoi was lying on her back on the couch, her head in Inosuke’s lap, looking like a bubble with her blue kimono and prominent baby bump. She was covering her face in her hands in a manner that suggested she was either distraught, exhausted, or overwhelmed. Kanao sat in one of the chairs with a cup of tea in her hands, while Nezuko sat in the other chair with Saki on her lap. Zenitsu stood next to her holding Isuzu. Yoriichi went straight into the kitchen for a snack, as if the scene before us wasn’t unusual at all. I paused nervously.

“Do I want to know?” I asked.

“Tanjiro,” Kanao murmured. “You… missed the announcement…”

“What announcement?”

“It’s just not possible…” Aoi groaned through her hands.

“Why is everyone standing around like something terrible happened?” I pressed on.

“It’s not terrible,” Zenitsu said. “We’re just taking it all in.”

“Stop being vague!” I demanded. “What happened?”

“Um, we figured out why Aoi is so sick,” began Kanao.

I looked at Inosuke. Even with his hide on, I could tell his expression under it was blank.

“Is there something wrong with your pregnancy?” I asked Aoi.

She continued to say nothing, then, all of a sudden, she threw her hands up in the air.

“IT’S TWINS! I’M HAVING TWINS!”

I shook my head several times in amazement.

“But, Aoi, that’s wonderful!”

“Yes, it is, but… seriously?!?!” Aoi kept going. “Two new babies in the house at the same time? We’re all gonna lose our minds! I don’t know how we haven’t all lost our minds already!”

“Three,” Nezuko suddenly blurted out, after being quiet for a while.

Zenitsu whipped his head around to her.

“Three what?”

“Three new babies. I’m pregnant, too.”

We all looked over at Nezuko and Zenitsu in shock. His jaw was on the floor, and she just smiled at him.

“WELL, THIS ONE BETTER BE A BOY!” Zenitsu exclaimed.

Yoriichi came back from the kitchen, an unauthorized dango in his hand.

“Why are you eating so many magic watermelon seeds and making so many babies?”

“W-Watermelon seeds?” Kanao asked. “Sweetheart, who told you that?”

“Dad.”

Kanao looked at me with the most confused face I’d ever seen. I couldn’t do anything but shrug. Isuzu was pulling on Zenitsu’s shirt collar demanding to know what he was talking about, while Aoi put her hands back over her face. Inosuke finally looked at her and began to stroke her hair. Yoriichi retreated back to the kitchen, as if nothing was happening at all. Kanao came up to me and leaned against my ear.

“I’m more curious about how you were able to lie to him than why you lied to him. And, how did you come up with that story?”

“Um, ya know, he’s only eight,” I smiled sheepishly. “And, I actually got it from Inosuke. Remember that one time?”

“You do know what you set in motion, right?”

I gulped. “A fear of watermelons?”

“I was actually going to say a lifetime of generational myths.”

“But, that’s family tradition, right?” I chuckled nervously.

Kanao smiled, then she kissed my cheek.

“Yes, family tradition.”

She took my hand, and we both looked at our family. Inosuke helped Aoi sit up. Yoriichi ate his dango unbothered in the kitchen. I was too mentally drained to scold him. Meanwhile, the Agatsuma family was having a collective meltdown in the background.

Aoi and Inosuke’s twins were due in May and and Nezuko and Zenitsu’s third child was due in September. When Zenitsu found out the baby was due near the third, his own birthday, he became very fixated on it. He desperately wanted it to be a boy and was convinced it was.

“He’s desperate because he really wants to name a son after Gramps,” Nezuko explained. “I want it to be a boy, too.”

“And, how do Saki and Isuzu feel?” I asked her.

It was February now, so Nezuko was three months along. She patted her bump happily.

“Saki’s excited. I don’t think Isuzu’s realized what’s happening. She’ll figure it out pretty soon, though. Oh, that Isuzu…”

She meant that both jokingly and seriously. Isuzu had her difficult moments, and I could only imagine what was going to happen once the next one was born.

“Dad!” Yoriichi had suddenly materialized next to me. “Are we going now?”

“Yes, in a minute.”

Nezuko brightened even more. “Where are you two going?”

“I promised I’d take him into the village to see a movie,” I explained.

“Oooh, that sounds fun!” Nezuko said. “Is this a treat?”

“Yes, for a very good mid-year grade,” I replied.

“And, then dango?” Yoriichi added with a huge grin.

“Ehhh, that’s stretching it, kiddo.”

“Huh?!?! Why?”

“Gee, I don’t know, two nights ago when you woke both me and Mom up?”

“But, I had a nightmare!”

“Yoriichi, you’re eight, you know we can’t do things like that anymore,” I sighed. “You can have your movie, but no dessert.”

“Uncle Zenitsu will just buy it anyway,” Yoriichi shrugged and walked to the door.

“Not if I tell him not to!” I called after him, then turned to Nezuko. “Anyway, I’m off.”

“Have fun, brother! Oh, and by the way, Inosuke’s taking Aoi down to the doctor’s clinic later today on the charcoal wagon again, because the poor woman can barely walk. You might see them while they’re there.”

“Good to know.”

“Daaaaaaaaaaad!” Yoriichi called impatiently.

“I’m coming, Yoriichi!”

I walked out the door with him. It was the beginning of February, but it had been warm. It hadn’t snowed in a few weeks. The ground wasn’t very hard because there hadn’t been a freeze. The sky was gray, and it smelled like it would rain. The clouds weren’t too concerning, so maybe it would only be a light drizzle and would be over while we were watching the movie.

“Dad, I have a question,” Yoriichi piped up.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“If there is sun-breathing, does that mean there are other kinds?”

“Yes, there were several. I used water-breathing, and Mom used flower-breathing.”

“What did they do?”

“They were all different ways to breathe while moving your body and swinging a sword,” I explained. “Each style had several forms. The movements of water-breathing were similar to the ways water flows. That’s how they all got their names.”

“Was there such thing as dragon-breathing?”

“No, there was not.”

“How about lightning?”

“Well, kind of. It was called thunder-breathing, and that was the one Uncle Zenitsu used.”

“Was there one for outer space?”

I laughed. “I think that one would be hard to do.”

“Do you think there are aliens, Dad?”

“Well, maybe there are, but I think that the world would have to become very different if we’re gonna find them.”

His questions about the different breathing styles were innocent enough and I didn’t mind answering them. As much as his questions could get tiresome, I loved that he was so bright and curious.

“How do they make dango?” he went on.

“Well, we’re not getting any today. But, on a day we do get some, I’ll ask Mrs. Soma how they’re made,” I answered.

“Okay.”

“I’ve got a question for you,” I said playfully.

“You do?” Yoriichi’s eyes and grin were huge.

“What’s your favorite subject in school?”

His smile faded. “Um, I don’t know.”

“Your progress report says you’re really good at all of them.”

“Yeah, they’re not very hard. But, I don’t know which one I like.”

“Do you know what you want to be when you get older?”

“Not really.”

“Have you ever thought about it?”

“Not really.”

“You’re very good in school, Yoriichi. You have a lot of options.”

“Why do I have to decide that now?”

“You don’t, but it’s always good to start thinking about the things that you like the most.”

“What would you have been, if you didn’t become a demon slayer?”

“Well, that’s an excellent question,” I mused. “I probably would have just sold charcoal.”

“Dad, I think you’re very brave,” said Yoriichi with a smile.

My heart skipped a beat, and I smiled back shyly.

“Thanks, kiddo. But, I was only doing what I had to do.”

“What if you didn’t, though? What if you and Auntie Nezuko stayed here? Someone else would’ve gotten the evil demon. You didn’t have to, but you did, so you’re brave.”

Of course, Nezuko becoming a demon made it impossible to do nothing. Yoriichi would never know about Nezuko having been a demon, however. Nezuko didn’t want her own children to ever find out, either. In the end, only a Kamado would’ve known how to defeat Kibutsuji. I did have to do it. I wasn’t sure if I deserved his compliment, but that wasn’t the point at the moment. The point was that my son looked up to me. I put my hand on his shoulder.

“That means a lot to me, kiddo.”

“Carry me,” Yoriichi said suddenly.

“No, you’re way too big now.”

“On your shoulders!”

“You’re still too big, and I only have one arm.”

“That’s never stopped you before!”

I smiled genuinely now. “No, it hasn’t. But, you’re still too big.”

Yoriichi took my hand. “Do you ever wish you were a kid again, Dad?”

“Well, if I were still a kid, I’d have my own parents and my other siblings,” I said. “But, I wouldn’t have you.”

“Don’t you miss them, though?”

“Every second of every day,” I sighed. “But, I’m glad I have you.”

“But, there could’ve been a way you had both!”

“No, there’s not,” I replied. “If I didn’t join the Demon Slayer Corps, I wouldn’t have met Mom. If I hadn’t met Mom, then you wouldn’t be here. Auntie Nezuko wouldn’t have met Uncle Zenitsu, and your cousins wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t know Mr. and Mrs. Hashibira. The life we have now wouldn’t exist. We can’t always have both, and we can’t control what life sends our way. Why don’t we just get to our movie and have fun, kiddo?”

“Why does life do things like that?” Yoriichi pressed on.

“Well, no one knows,” I replied. “But, Yoriichi, the journey may have been hard, sad, and scary, but I got you at the end. So, it was worth it.”

“Okay, Dad.”

I didn’t expect him to understand everything now, but I felt like it was important to put it out there. I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed it back. I had told him what hand squeezes were for. He always squeezed back.

“Your hand is really rough, Dad.”

“Does that bother you?”

“No, it just feels cool.”

“Well, that’s how you’ll always know it’s me.”

“Yep!”

We reached the village and went straight to the theater. People waved to us left and right. I still wasn’t comfortable with it, but Yoriichi enjoyed it. I didn’t think he really knew why they were waving. He probably assumed it was because I was a councilman. He called me “brave,” and that really did mean a lot to me. But, I was still going to make sure that he grew up knowing I wasn’t a hero.

Yoriichi picked another cartoon movie, his favorite kind. I found them entertaining, too. They were carefree and silly, and I loved hearing him laugh. I enjoyed the movies just because he did. I didn’t need it to be amused. Bonding with my son was much more important to me. After the first one ended, we got to a see another with the same ticket. Yoriichi sat on the edge of his seat, his eyes glued to the screen with wonder. He was easily mesmerized. Everything was an adventure to him. This world was changing rapidly. I hoped he would never run out of things to be amazed by. When the second one was over, Yoriichi turned to me.

“Dad, how do they make movies?”

“Not sure,” I replied.

“Is it magic?”

“I don’t know too much about magic,” I laughed.

“You said demons could use magic spells.”

“The spells the demons used were violent and meant to hurt people. That’s not magic.”

“Yeah, I guess not.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “What do you say we go now?”

“Okay,” Yoriichi replied. “But, Dad, I’ve got another question.”

“Yes, kiddo?”

“Did other places in the world have demons, too?”

“Not that I know of,” I said. “This world is filled with many countries, with wonders and mysteries all their own. I hope no other places suffered from demons like our country did. Maybe when you’re older, you can go all around this world.”

“Ooh…” Yoriichi mused. “That would be so cool!”

I smiled. “All right, kiddo, let’s get going.”

Yoriichi took my hand again as we left the theater. I thought he’d be embarrassed to hold it at this age. I was glad he wasn’t. However, when we pushed open the door, we were both taken aback. It was pouring rain. The village was completely deserted, and a gushing river of water ran through the streets. Yoriichi and I stood under the awning of the theater, huddled closer together. Why didn’t I bring an umbrella when I knew I could smell rain? I wasn’t expecting it to be like this at all.

“Dad,” Yoriichi said. “Let’s find Mr. and Mrs. Hashibira. They have the wagon!”

However, the doctor’s clinic was across the town from the movie theater. How would we get there? I looked frantically around for something to cover our heads. There was no one out at all anymore. I sniffed the air. I could smell that the rain was on the way out, but how long would that take? There was nothing to protect us. The only choice was to stay inside.

“Yoriichi, let’s go back into the theater and wait this out.”

“Do we get to see more movies?” he grinned.

“No, I’m not paying for that,” I said. “But, maybe we can get a snack.”

“Dango?”

“No, but, I’ll get you something.”

I bought us two sweet rolls and we sat in the theater lobby waiting for the rain to pass. I kept my nose pointed to the window to make sure. Yoriichi turned his head to look at me.

“How can you smell stuff so well?”

“I was just born with a good nose. Then, during my training, I got even better at it.”

“How come I wasn’t born with a good nose?”

“Because, you were born with your own unique gifts,” I told him. “You don’t have to be like me.”

Yoriichi took a big mouthful of his sweet roll. He thought for a minute.

“I don’t know what my unique gifts are.”

“What did I tell you earlier?” I said and tapped his shoulder. “You’re very good in school. You’re a really great friend to Sei. You have gifts you haven’t even discovered yet, too.”

“Yeah, Sei is awesome. School is okay.”

“Would you like it if school was harder?”

“No, I just think it would be better if we did fun stuff,” Yoriichi said while taking another bite. “When I was little, we got to play. Now, we just look at paper.”

His mind was on completely different level. It was almost like he was too far ahead of the world he was born into. I took another bite of my roll, too. I inhaled its sweet scent, and realized I couldn’t smell rain anymore. I cautiously poked my head out the door. The downpour was over, but the streets were a mess. I took a sharp breath in, then put my head back inside.

“Yoriichi, the rain stopped. Let’s go find Mr. Hashibira now.”

The trek to the doctor’s clinic involved jumping over big puddles, taking several detours, and sidestepping debris. When we got there, we expected to see the wagon in the street outside. We checked around the other street corners, but it was nowhere to be found. Inosuke built it to be huge and bulky on purpose, so it would’ve stuck out like a sore thumb. I brought Yoriichi inside and went up to the receptionist.

“Um, I’m looking for Aoi Hashibira,” I explained.

“Oh, she’s not currently working right now,” the receptionist answered. “She’s pregnant.”

“I know,” I said. “I live with her. But, she and her husband were supposed to come in for a routine appointment today. Do you know if they’re still here?”

“Oh, Dr. Watanabe went to them.”

They never left home, meaning Yoriichi and I didn’t have a wagon. I sighed, thanked the receptionist for her help, and then went back outside.

“So, we don’t have a ride?” Yoriichi asked hesitantly.

“No, we’re just going to have to walk up the mountain ourselves. It’s going to be muddy, so we have to be careful, okay?”

Inside, I was panicking, but I couldn’t show that in front of Yoriichi. I took his hand again and we started our way home. The slopes were terrible. It took us twice as long as normal to just get up a fourth of the way. I was worried about Aoi, too. Something bad must have happened if Inosuke couldn’t even get her on the wagon. She was constantly sick and carrying the twins made it near impossible for her to do anything by herself. She was more emotional than she’d ever been, and she was more irritable. They had three more months to go, and I could only imagine what the house would turn into in that time - especially because it would overlap with Nezuko’s second trimester.

“Dad, why are you panting?”

Because, I was having an internal breakdown thinking about the collective loss of sanity of nine people living under the same roof and contributing to a combined income, and also that three of those nine people were our children and three more infants were about to be added into the mix. So, if somebody, probably Zenitsu, actually went full-blown primeval, I’d have to look into this psychotherapy practice that some people were talking about in the village.

“It’s a hard hike, Yoriichi, watch your step,” was all I answered, however.

“I’m just fine,” he replied.

I realized he was hopping from rock to rock, and my blood turned cold.

“Yoriichi, don’t do that! Those rocks are slippery!”

“It’s okay, Dad, really.”

“You could slip and fall!”

“They’re not that wet, and they’re flat.”

“Yoriichi Kamado, do as I say right now!”

He landed hard on a large rock and shrugged. I stopped and furrowed my brow angrily at him, but he did nothing. He was fearless. Sometimes, that was good, and other times, like this, it was infuriating.

“See, nothing happened,” he said.

“That’s not the point!” I said sternly. “I grew up on this mountain, and I’ve fallen dozens of times on this same path.”

Yoriichi scrunched up his face and folded his arms.

“I know how to jump, Dad. It’s not like I’m four!”

“It doesn’t matter what age you are. If you slip and fall down the mountain, you could get seriously hurt,” I explained, trying to stay as collected as possible. “I know you’re not four, and I know you know how to jump, but this is about your safety! Do you think I’m going to let you do anything that will get you hurt? No, of course not!”

He harrumphed and started walking normally, but he refused to take my hand again.

“You still need to hold my hand,” I said impatiently.

“Nope.”

“Fine.”

We walked in silence for a while. The slope began to relax. It was definitely much steeper at the bottom. I was still angry at him. I kept looking at him sulking out of the corner of my eye. Then, he started stamping his feet a little with every step.

“Yoriichi! You can’t do that, either!”

“What can I do, then?” he shot back.

“You can walk normally the rest of the way. We’re almost home!”

“Why can’t I do this?”

“It’s still muddy, isn’t it?” I had completely lost my self-control. “Give me your hand!”

I grabbed his wrist. He yanked it out of my grasp.

“Stop yelling at me!” he shouted.

“I’m yelling at you because you’re not listening!” I snapped, seizing him by the shoulder. “When I say stop, you stop! If I’m telling you it’s not safe, it’s not safe! If I’m angry at you, it’s for a reason! Do you want to have a tantrum and look like Isuzu? Drop the attitude right now, because I will tell Mom about this, and she won’t be happy, either!”

Yoriichi glared at me, took advantage of my lack of a left-hand grip, wriggled away and resumed stomping his feet in the mud. Almost immediately, however, his footing gave way under him. With a small yelp, he stumbled backwards. He grabbed the end of my shirt for balance and took me down with him. Both of us landed on the muddy ground hard and slid swiftly down the slope. When we stopped, I sat up and wiped the mud off my face with my sleeve. My pulse was quickening. I looked frantically around for Yoriichi. I found him three feet away. He was spread out on his back like a star, looking at the sky in bewilderment. I was relieved he was all right, but that was quickly usurped by a furious rage.

“WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?!?!” I yelled. “LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE!!!”

“I-I, uuuhhhhh…” Yoriichi mumbled.

He could barely speak and his eyes were blank. Panic gripped me immediately. Did he hit a rock? I scrambled over to him.

“Are you hurt?!” I fretted, helping him up. “Did you hit anything? Did you hit your head? DID YOU HIT YOUR HEAD?”

“Dad, I’m fine…”

He blinked several times and wiped his muddy hands on his shirt.

“WELL, I’M NOT!!!” I bellowed. “Do you understand now, Yoriichi? We just slid down the mountain for ten feet! You cannot stomp around in the mud, and when you fall, you cannot take other people down with you! I need you to understand what is dangerous, Yoriichi Kamado! Just because there are no more demons doesn’t mean danger doesn’t exist!”

“Okay, okay,” he whimpered. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

“Okay,” I said, trying to back down on my rage. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. When we get home, we’re gonna get in the bath together and I’m gonna wash all this mud out. Then, Mom is going to wash our clothes.”

Yoriichi’s hands flew to his head and his eyes went wide.

“No! Please, don’t do my hair!”

“Your hair is covered in mud now, what do you think I’m gonna do?”

“P-Please let me do it myself!!!”

“No, you are not doing it yourself!”

“Show me how!” he begged, crying now. “Just, please, don’t do it…”

He sniffled and looked up at me. I was furious, but I hated seeing him cry, even when he deserved to be in trouble. Kanao once called me an “enabler.” She did have a point. I thought for a second, then I sighed.

“Listen, Yoriichi, you are still in trouble, and I am still angry at you. But, I will show you how to wash your hair so we don’t have to go through more crying and yelling today.”

“Okay…”

“Okay. You will take my hand now, you will hold it for the rest of the way home, and you will listen to everything I tell you in the bathtub, got it?”

Yoriichi nodded, and I helped him up. When we finally reached the house, the first thing I did was bring him around the side of the house and dump buckets of water over both of us. That got most of the mud off. When we appeared in the doorway, we found Zenitsu with the girls in the living room and Kanao in the kitchen. When she saw us, her jaw dropped and her hand flew to her mouth.

“What happened?!?!” she exclaimed.

“You wanna tell Mom what happened?” I prodded Yoriichi.

Yoriichi looked at the ground in embarrassment, then he told Kanao the whole story.

“So, Dad’s mad at me,” he concluded.

“And, I don’t blame him, Yoriichi,” Kanao replied. “Leave your clothes outside the door and I’ll put them in the wash.”

In the bathtub, I washed both of our bodies. He didn’t object to that, it was only his head that he hated. He slouched sheepishly, with his arms folded the whole time. I had him watch me carefully as I washed my own hair and showed him the steps. He obeyed without a word. He was very observant, and he got it right after just one demonstration.

“But, you’re gonna let Mom comb it,” I said.

“Okay…”

When we got out of the bathtub, Kanao had left us a clean change of clothes, then she sat us down on chairs in the storage room facing the mirror. She started with Yoriichi’s hair, and he only flinched and whined mildly.

“There, you’re finished, sweetheart,” she said finally.

“Can I have a snack?”

“Nope, you’ll ruin your dinner. Go to your room and Dad will be right there.”

Yoriichi got up and sulked off, then Kanao started combing my hair. She was frustrated, too, but she managed a small smile.

“It’s been a while since I had the privilege of combing these gorgeous locks,” she mused.

“What do I still have to talk to him about?” I asked.

“You’re going to tell him that you were angry because you were afraid,” Kanao clarified. “And, you were afraid because you love him.”

“Is this about my overprotective tendencies again?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Kanao, he could’ve been seriously hurt!”

“He needs to know that you act like that because you love him, not because you’re trying to stifle him.”

“I don’t see how it was overprotective,” I returned. “That was real danger he put us both in. Any parent would have done the same thing. And, did something happen with Aoi? Is she all right? Why didn’t she and Inosuke go downtown?”

“Aoi is just fine,” Kanao said. “When it became apparent it was going to rain, she called Dr. Watanabe to come here instead. In fact, Dr. Watanabe is still here with Aoi. She’s also giving Nezuko her checkup. It just worked out better that way.”

I sighed. “What do you think is going to happen to our family now? Do you think we’ll be able to stay together?”

“No matter where any of us go, we’re always family,” Kanao said.

She finished combing my hair and now she was running her fingers through it. I reached up and touched her fingers with mine. I tilted my head back so I could see her face, albeit upside-down. She smiled at me.

“Why do you seem to have parenting down more than I do?” I asked her.

“I make plenty of mistakes, too,” she replied, and kissed my cheek. “Just tell him you still love him, if anything.”

When I went to Yoriichi’s room, he was curled up in his bed. His quilt was the one Kanao had made for him before he was born, that told our story as demon slayers. The last square had a pattern of a sun, a flower, and a sunflower. The sunflower used to be a bud, but Kanao altered it when Yoriichi got older. He always begged us to tell him the whole story, but he had no idea he slept in it every night.

“Hey, kiddo?” I called to him softly.

“Yeah?” Yoriichi mumbled.

“I meant everything I said back there. But, even when I’m angry at you, I still love you. I will always love you. That’s why I get angry and scared when I think you’re going to get hurt.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Do you need a nap before dinner?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay, I’ll leave you be.”

As I was shutting the door, Yoriichi sat up and looked at me.

“I love you, too, Dad.”

He didn’t wait for me to say anything else. He plopped down on his bed and was out like a light. I quietly shut the door behind me. Kanao came from around the corner and wrapped her arms around me. I let myself smile. I still couldn’t ask for a better family.

Chapter Text

Endless Inquiry

On the evening of May twenty-second, the telephone rang. I was setting up the table and expecting Tanjiro home any minute. The kids all bolted into the living room with excitement.

“It’s Hiroshi!” Saki cheered. “He’s talking.”

“Honey, honey,” Zenitsu said as he bent down to her level. “It is a telephone, not a human being. It doesn’t really have a name or gender.”

“But, Mom calls him Hiroshi,” replied Saki.

“Well, Mom thinks it’s funny, but I don’t!”

“Pick up the phone, Zenitsu!” Nezuko shouted from her bedroom.

“Oh, right!” Zenitsu hustled over and picked it up on the last ring. “Hello, you’ve reached the Kamado, Agatsuma, and Hashibira house. Who are you calling for?”

Almost immediately, his eyes went wide in surprise and he became animated.

“Huh?!?! They were born three hours ago, but you’re only calling right now?!?! What do you mean you forgot we existed?!?! I can’t understand you, you’re talking too fast!!! Inosuke!!! Inosuke, settle down!!!”

I clapped my hands to my mouth. “The twins are here? That’s wonderful!”

“Kanao!” Nezuko called out. “I want to be in the living room! Come help me up!”

I put down the plates and went to her. She was pretty large herself, but not nearly as large as Aoi had been a few weeks ago. Zenitsu was still fumbling with Inosuke on the phone.

“Okay, from what I pieced together from your babbling, you guys will be cleared to leave the doctor’s clinic in a week, Aoi is not allowed to do any kind of physical activity for a month, and she’s going to have trouble standing and walking… okay, but are you gonna tell us what they are…? Got it, got it. I’ll tell them now. Bye.”

I sat Nezuko down on one of the chairs. The kids were gathered around Zenitsu.

“What are the twins?” Saki asked eagerly.

“Two girls, boys are yuck,” Isuzu said.

“Your cousin Yoriichi isn’t yucky,” Nezuko called out.

“That’s because he’s a cousin,” Saki giggled.

“I want them to be boys!” exclaimed Yoriichi. “Playing with you two gets old real fast.”

“Yoriichi, who taught you that phrase?” I asked, trying not to laugh.

Yoriichi pointed at Zenitsu. Zenitsu simply shrugged.

“That’s not inappropriate, is it?” he asked. “Anyway, you all get what you want because it’s a boy and a girl!”

All three of the kids cheered. At that moment, Tanjiro walked through the door.

“Did I miss something?” he asked.

“Dad, the Hashibira twins were born!” Yoriichi excitedly announced. “One is a boy and one is a girl!”

“Aw, I wanted to tell Uncle Tanjiro,” Saki sighed.

“No, me first!” shouted Isuzu. “I never go first!”

“Woah, woah, this is not a competition,” Tanjiro laughed. “But, that’s so amazing! You’re all gonna be super good when they come home, right?”

“YES!!!” the three of them cheered in unison.

“But, I go first next time,” Isuzu grumbled and trudged away.

She marched up to Nezuko and put her hands on her belly.

“Mommy, is this one a girl?”

“I don’t know yet,” Nezuko answered. “But, won’t it be nice to have a brother?”

“No,” Isuzu said definitively.

Nezuko laughed awkwardly. The kids resumed the games they were playing on the floor and I walked up to Tanjiro.

“So, Aoi and Inosuke won’t be able to come home for a week,” I said. “Maybe we should go visit them.”

“That sounds like a great idea, if they let us,” he replied.

Three days later, we packed a lunch and visited Aoi and Inosuke at the clinic. Nezuko couldn’t walk down the mountain, so she stayed behind. When we got there, we didn’t even have to ask where their room was. As soon as he found out we were in the lobby, Inosuke came pounding down the hallway. He had no hide, or shirt, and his face was lit up like a spotlight.

“Guys! Guys!!! You came!”

“Mr. Hashibira,” the receptionist groaned. “What have we politely told you for three days straight? You are required to wear a shirt on the premises.”

“Yeah, I know,” Inosuke grinned. “But, I’m so freakin’ happy, I can’t keep one on! I put it on, and two minutes later, I just wanna whip it off! I’m just like, YEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!”

“And, that’s another thing,” said the receptionist. “There are sick people here. You cannot keep shouting.”

“Mr. Hashibira! We brought food!” Yoriichi exclaimed.

“Yes, and you may eat outside in the yard, but not in the rooms,” the receptionist went on.

“Oh, we can’t eat with Aoi?” I asked sadly.

“Nah, she’s gotta stay in bed,” Inosuke said. “But, she’s doing fine. You guys gotta see! It was like a complete swap! The girl looks like me and the boy looks like her! Come on, come on, come on!”

We followed Inosuke to the room as he practically vibrated with excitement. He stood proudly in the doorway.

“I’m back, baby,” he announced. “And, I brought the house!”

Inside, an exhausted looking Aoi lay in bed with a washcloth on her forehead. She looked as if she’d just woken up, but she smiled when she saw us. Inosuke went over to her, propped up the pillows so she could sit up, and knelt next to her. We all followed in.

“You guys came,” she said tiredly in a soft voice.

“Of course, we did,” replied Tanjiro happily. “I was glad they let us.”

“Where are the babies?” Saki jittered.

Zenitsu put his hand on her shoulder. “Honey, be polite. Mrs. Hashibira is very tired.”

“They’re right here,” Aoi said with a smile and moved her blanket.

The twins were tiny, almost too tiny to have made Aoi that big, but there they were. They were both asleep, wrapped in pink and blue. They lay against Aoi’s shirt facing each other. She held them to her with both arms.

“What are their names?” Yoriichi asked curiously.

“That’s an excellent question, Yoriichi,” replied Aoi. “We can’t think of any.”

“Huh? You didn’t brainstorm before they were born?” asked Zenitsu.

“We wanted to see what they’d turn out to be first,” Aoi explained. “We thought one boy and one girl would make it easier, but we can’t agree on anything.”

“What was wrong with ‘Mikan’ for either of them?” Inosuke asked.

“Dear, no matter how much they may look like oranges, that’s not a real name!”

“Can I pick?” volunteered Saki, raising her hand.

“No, sweetie, let their parents pick,” said Zenitsu.

“Actually, we’d love some help,” Aoi sighed.

“Well,” I suggested. “Think about names important to you, like the names of people from your life you want to honor. That’s what Tanjiro and I did with Yoriichi. We would have done it again, too.”

“Yeah, and I’m naming my son after my trainer!” added Zenitsu.

“I’m trying to think,” Aoi said. “Who in my family would I want to honor? No one…”

“Yeah, I don’t even know my family,” Inosuke added, scratching his head. “My wild boar mother who raised me didn’t have a name.”

“Of course, she didn’t, dear…”

“But, um, I totally had a real mother. She got killed by that demon Kanao and I fought. I swear that demon mentioned her name. She died saving me. I always assumed my mother never wanted me, but then the demon told me she threw me in the river to save my life. That’s someone worth honoring, right?”

“Of course, it is!” I said. “Only, I don’t remember the name.”

“Let me think about it,” Inosuke said.

Suddenly, he contorted his body so that he had his head between his feet. All of us did a double take, and a terrified Isuzu buried her face in Zenitsu’s side.

“Ino…SUKE! What are you doing?!?!” Aoi barked in a whisper.

“I’m thinking, baby,” answered Inosuke. “I’m trying to remember. My mother’s name… One syllable was definitely ‘ko,’ but I don’t think it came at the end… It was at the beginning. ‘Ko-to…’ Something ‘ko-to…’ ‘Ko-to…’ ‘Ko-to-ha…’ Yes, that’s it! Kotoha!”

He bent back to his normal position and knelt back down next to Aoi.

“You want to name the girl ‘Kotoha?’” she asked.

“Yeah, what do you think?”

“Your mother had a lovely name. That’s perfect,” Aoi smiled. “Hello, my little Kotoha.”

She leaned down towards the girl and kissed the top of her head.

“Sweet!” Inosuke cheered. “One down, one to go! By the way, you guys gotta tell me… What were you all doing when you found out the news?”

“We were all in the room when Hiroshi rang!” Yoriichi answered.

Suddenly, Inosuke’s eyes magnified. “Woah, that’s it! For the boy! Let’s call him Hiroshi! Hiroshi Hashibira! I like the sound of that!”

“What?!?!” Aoi protested. “Are you seriously naming our son after the phone?!?!”

“Hey, hey, hey, you and everyone else keep telling me the phone doesn’t actually have a name!” Inosuke retorted. “If we name him Hiroshi, I’ll never call the phone anything other than ‘phone’ ever again!”

Aoi thought about it very carefully, then slowly nodded.

“I agree it has a nice ring to it… All right then, Hiroshi it is!”

After that, we ate our picnic lunch outside in the gardens with Inosuke. He saved half his meal for Aoi.

“You guys really made Aoi happy today!” he announced. “And, you even helped us name our children! You have no idea how hard that was! We had to come up with two names!”

“We’re so happy for you, Inosuke,” I said, giving him a hug. “We can’t wait to have you, Aoi, Hiroshi, and Kotoha home!”

The Agatsuma family went straight back up the mountain, but we opted to stay longer. It was a nice day, and we wanted to walk around the village. The shops were opening up, and it was an opportunity to look around. Yoriichi walked in between us, deep in thought. It wasn’t like him. Tanjiro took notice.

“Hey, kiddo, is something wrong?”

“Mom, Dad… how come I never got a sibling?”

Tanjiro and I glanced at each other. I decided to take the initiative.

“The gods just gave us you, and for that we are blessed and grateful,” I said.

“But, why? Everyone else gets to have a sibling. Saki, Isuzu, and the new baby are three. Hiroshi and Kotoha got to be born with their sibling. Sei doesn’t have any siblings, but all the other kids at my school have at least one. So, why don’t the gods like you as much as they like all those parents?”

“It’s not about whether the gods like certain people more than others,” Tanjiro answered. “They work in ways we have no way of knowing.”

“Yeah, but, Dad, can’t you just buy more magic watermelon seeds? Or, do you get those from the gods?”

Tanjiro visibly cringed. He got himself into that mess, so he was going to get himself out of it. There would be another time for that, though. I put my hand on Yoriichi’s shoulder.

“We are perfectly happy with just you, sweetheart.” I smiled at him. “You’re our son and we love you very much.”

“Mom, you told Mrs. Hashibira that you and Dad would name another kid after another important person you knew,” Yoriichi went on. “If you had another, what would you have named that kid?”

“Well, there’s lots of people from our journey that we’d love to honor,” I replied.

“Okay, then, why’d you name me after that sun-breather and not one of them? If there’s so many people you’d love to honor, why’d you pick that guy first out of all of them?”

Tanjiro sighed. “Yoriichi, you’re not ready to know the rest of Tsugikuni’s story. You and I have talked about this before. There were many great people that helped me and Mom along the way, but without him, none of it could’ve happened at all. He was the beginning.”

“And, I’m the end?”

I brought my fingers to my lips in astonishment. I heard Tanjiro take a deep breath. With a gentle touch, I tugged on his sleeve behind Yoriichi’s back. Tanjiro turned his head towards me quickly, waiting for permission to answer, and I nodded quickly.

“Yoriichi, the only thing you have in common with him is his given name. It was a show of respect on our part, nothing more. Think about today. Mr. Hashibira named his daughter after his mother. If your new cousin turns out to be a boy, Uncle Zenitsu wants to give him the name of his sword trainer, who made an impact in his life. When people name their children after other people, it’s just because they want to show that they still honor that person. It doesn’t mean that they wish for the child to become like the person they named them after.”

That wasn’t what I wanted Tanjiro to tell Yoriichi at all. I wanted to tell him that his name meant a lot more to us than just the man it first belonged to. But, I agreed using the words “the end” would probably create the wrong reaction in Yoriichi. Tanjiro and I had always thought of it as one cycle of the sun, one out of many. One story led to another, toward the future, toward the destiny of the next generation. Yoriichi looked at Tanjiro like that wasn’t the answer he was expecting, either.

“One day, you will know everything,” Tanjiro concluded. “But, it’s not going to be today. You just have to trust me. If I tell you that there are some parts of a story that I don’t want to tell you yet, then understand there is a reason for it. Let’s talk about something else, Yoriichi.”

“Dad… I wasn’t trying to make you angry…” Yoriichi murmured and shrunk back.

“I know, kiddo,” Tanjiro said. “I’m not angry. How about we get something to drink? I’ll be right back.”

Tanjiro went off to the concession stand and Yoriichi looked up at me.

“Mom, I just wanted to know about names.”

“I know, sweetheart,” I said. “Don’t think of yourself as ‘the end.’ You are the beginning of your very own story.”

“Why couldn’t Dad just tell me that?”

“Yoriichi,” I knelt down to his level. “Tsugikuni’s story involves people dying and a very, very horrible demon. The story is not appropriate for you right now. If your father doesn’t want you to know yet, you listen to him.”

I didn’t like going behind Tanjiro’s back, but he could have at least told Yoriichi why the story was not suitable yet. The new knowledge seemed to quell the questions in him for now, and Tanjiro came back with three cups all tucked against his body with his arm.

“Take them quickly please,” he chuckled.

We sipped them on a bench together, while several people walked by and called out to us.

“Oh, good afternoon, Councilman Kamado!”

“Afternoon,” Tanjiro called back.

“It’s a nice day, Councilman Kamado,” another man said. “And, it’s a pleasure to see you, too, Lady Kamado, and the young master!”

“Young master?” Yoriichi raised an eyebrow.

“How about names?” Tanjiro suggested with a shy smile.

“Oh, yes,” the man said. “Young master, remind me your name again?”

“I’m Yoriichi Kamado, and I’m just a kid.”

“All right,” the man replied and tipped his hat. “Have a great day, Councilman Kamado. You’ve got a good-looking family, by the way.”

Tanjiro sighed in frustration and Yoriichi looked up at him.

“Dad, what was that about?”

“As a councilman, I technically have a higher position in the village,” grumbled Tanjiro. “The villagers think they have to treat me with more respect, but they really don’t. Not that long ago, I used to be their charcoal seller. Being a councilman is just my job, it doesn’t make me any different from anybody else.”

Yoriichi finished his drink with a loud slurp.

“What did he mean by ‘good-looking family?’” he asked.

“He means Mom is beautiful,” replied Tanjiro and gave me a playful smile.

“And, that you’re going grow up to be handsome, like Dad,” I teased and tapped Yoriichi on the nose.

Yoriichi smiled. Tanjiro put his arm around both of us. I did the same.

“Mr. and Mrs. Hashibira are about to have their hands full. What do you say we get them a nice present?” I suggested.

“Ooh, can I pick out toys for the twins?” Yoriichi asked excitedly.

“Why don’t we get something for the parents first?” Tanjiro replied. “They’re gonna need it more.”

We spent the rest of the afternoon shopping for a present. When we came home with it, Zenitsu immediately got flustered.

“Why didn’t I think of that? Nezuko, we gotta buy Inosuke and Aoi a present as soon as possible!”

“You can go any time in the next few days,” Nezuko panted from the living room.

“But, I need ideas first!” Zenitsu started flailing his arms. “Saki, Isuzu, help me out!”

“I don’t know,” Saki replied.

“Nothing,” Isuzu added.

“Okay, Isuzu, that’s not nice,” scolded Nezuko. “Come over here, Mommy needs to talk to you.”

Zenitsu leaned in close to Tanjiro. “Who do you think Isuzu takes after??? Do you have any hidden bad attitude streaks in your family?”

“Nope, not really,” Tanjiro answered. “Gee, I wonder who that leaves?”

“Oh, come on!” Zenitsu whined. “You’re telling me that I’m that difficult and dramatic?”

Tanjiro burst into uncontrollable laughter. Zenitsu simply narrowed his eyes at him and walked away, while Isuzu was giving Nezuko a series of very dissatisfied “HMPHs” in the living room.

When the Hashibira family finally came home, Aoi was mostly confined to her bed. Inosuke was very calm and loving. His belligerent attitude was, for now, totally gone. It was clear that Aoi was going to need several months to recover. One afternoon while Dr. Watanabe was visiting, Tanjiro, Yoriichi, and I sat outside by the garden to give everyone some space. Yoriichi kept poking the ground with a stick.

“Are we ever going to get another snake for the garden?” he asked.

“Probably not, kiddo,” answered Tanjiro.

“What happened to Kaburamaru?”

“I buried him with his original owner, the Serpent Hashira, Obanai Iguro, at the Butterfly Mansion. That’s where he truly belonged.”

“What’s a Serpent Hashira?”

“Serpent-breathing was another sword style, and a Hashira was a master of the different styles,” Tanjiro explained.

“Wow,” Yoriichi mused. “Mom, Dad, did you two ever become Hashira?”

“Nope, but we knew many,” I replied.

“Are any of them still alive?” Yoriichi asked.

“Yes,” Tanjiro answered. “The sound Hashira, Tengen Uzui.”

We hadn’t heard from Tengen in a while, but I made a mental note to write to him soon. I assumed that he still had the same address. I could only guess how large his family had grown by now.

“Is Mrs. Hashibira going to be okay…?” Yoriichi asked quietly.

“Yes, sweetheart,” I assured him. "But, she needs time to rest. So, Yoriichi, be very kind to Mrs. Hashibira while she gets better."

“Most importantly, the twins are healthy and Mr. and Mrs. Hashibira are happy,” Tanjiro added. “Are you happy for them, Yoriichi?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good. They will like it if you tell them that.”

“Okay.”

Yoriichi got up and went inside. I scooted closer to my husband and laid my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me.

“She’ll be okay,” he said and kissed my forehead. “She’s in good hands.”

“I know. I’m not just thinking about Aoi. I’m thinking about what we were telling Yoriichi earlier. He just wants to learn, Tanjiro,” I said. “He doesn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know.”

“Our innocence was wrested from us too early. I know that’s why you want to keep him a child for a little while longer,” I said. “But, if he shows us that he’s so open to life, then it would be wrong for us to hold him back. You can have him learn these lessons and keep the light in his eyes. The light still dances in your eyes, even after everything you’ve been through.”

“Would it be wrong to admit that I’m a little envious of my own son?” Tanjiro whispered. “Not just because he gets to live in a peaceful world, but because he isn’t afraid to ask so many questions.”

“That isn’t wrong,” I said. “But, what’s the reason?”

“I didn’t ask enough questions as a kid,” Tanjiro elaborated. “I just took my life as it was, and never thought about anything changing or why things were the way they were. I never really thought to ask about them. Then, I paid the price. Don’t get me wrong, though, his curiosity is beautiful… as well as frustrating…”

I chuckled. “I understand what you’re saying. Maybe I’m a little envious of that in him, too. Maybe that’s why we find it both beautiful and frustrating.”

At that moment, Yoriichi came back outside.

“I drew Mrs. Hashibira a picture and Mr. Hashibira is going to give it to her.”

“That’s wonderful, sweetheart,” I smiled. “I’m sure she’ll love that.”

He plopped back down on the step. “Tell me about the other Hashira.”

Tanjiro began to explain how there were nine Hashira and the different breathing styles they used. He described Rengoku's appetite, Ms. Kanroji's pink and green hair, and Himejima's rigorous training. Yoriichi hung on his every word. He always brightened instantly whenever Tanjiro told him about his past. I wondered if his feelings would ever change.

Chapter Text

Where It All Comes From

In three more months, Aoi was well on her way to recovery, but was still limited in what she was allowed to do. She took a leave of absence from work and spent most of the time sitting. One day while all the guys were gone and Saki and Yoriichi were at school, Aoi sat on the couch, holding the twins and gently rocking them. Nezuko was sitting in a chair, round as a boulder, next to her. I was making a snack for Isuzu as they talked amongst themselves in the living room.

“Auntie Kanao,” Isuzu piped up. “Why Yoriichi and Saki go to school?”

“Because the world has many things to learn!” I told her happily. “Now that you’re three, you can start school soon, too.”

I gave Isuzu her snack and listened in to what Nezuko and Aoi were talking about in the living room.

“I honestly think Inosuke should quit selling charcoal,” Aoi was saying. “Or at least not depend on it alone. He’d make bring in a lot more money for all of us as a full-time carpenter, and now we need it.”

“You’re probably right,” Nezuko agreed, though she was half asleep.

“Do you need anything, Aoi?” I asked from the kitchen.

“I’m all right. I’m just waiting for them to fall asleep,” she replied. “They only fall asleep if I hold them. Once they are asleep, they sleep just like their father.”

At that moment, there was a noise outside the door and Inosuke appeared. Without even saying hello to the rest of us, he simply bounded over to Aoi and sat next to her.

“Do you need me, baby?” he asked smoothly.

“Take off the hide,” sighed Aoi.

“Huh?”

“I don’t think you should wear your hide around them,” she explained. “They might think it’s your real face.”

“At least, I’m wearing a shirt right now!”

“Not the point. Take off the hide.”

Inosuke popped the hide off and looked at the twins. Hiroshi looked right at him.

“See?” Aoi said more sweetly. “He wants to see your actual face. Say hi to him.”

“Hey, kid!” Inosuke said.

“Quietly, dear…”

“Hey, kid,” Inosuke whispered.

Isuzu was done with her snack and wandered over to Nezuko.

“Mommy, I’m bored. I play with Kotoha?”

“Isuzu, sweetie, Kotoha can’t play. She’s too young.”

“Saki is never home!” Isuzu whined.

“Daddy is bringing Saki and Yoriichi home shortly,” chided Nezuko.

“Can you play with me?”

“Look at Mommy!” Nezuko laughed. “Mommy can barely stand up!”

Isuzu trudged away. She went over to the pile of toys in the living room corner. Instead of playing with anything, however, she planted face down on the carpet. It was a tactic she used for getting attention, but it seldom worked anymore. Meanwhile, on the couch, Inosuke carefully lifted Hiroshi out of Aoi’s lap and put him on his own. He was much more gentle of a father than any of us expected him to be. Hiroshi definitely looked a lot more like Aoi, but Kotoha was not dominantly Inosuke, aside from her very large green eyes. Shortly after, Zenitsu came home with Yoriichi and Saki. Yoriichi looked at Isuzu lying motionless on the ground.

“What happened this time?”

“Yoriichi, that’s not really polite,” I said while stifling a laugh.

Saki walked curiously up to Aoi and Inosuke.

“Mr. and Mrs. Hashibira, can I look at the twins?”

“You may look,” Aoi said. “But, they need to fall asleep soon.”

When Tanjiro came home later, he was poorly suppressing a grin. The whole dinner table held their breath, except Yoriichi.

“Dad, Dad! What is it, what happened???”

“My upcoming trip to the village to the west is postponed,” he announced. “So, I will not miss Zenitsu’s birthday or the birth of the new baby like I thought I would.”

“YES!” Zenitsu cheered triumphantly.

Aoi shot him a look. “Zenitsu, the twins are sleeping.”

“Heh, heh, heh… sorry,” he whispered. “Baby and I are going to have the same birthday! Is that not the best thing ever for a father and son to share?”

“Sweetie, sweetie,” said Nezuko. “You don’t know if it’s a boy, and it may not be on your exact birthday.”

“Just wait and see, everyone!” Zenitsu thrust his index finger in the air. “Oh, and guess what? I finalized the complete draft of my memoir! I’m going to submit it for official publication at last!”

“Oh, honey, that’s amazing!” Nezuko applauded. “I’m so glad you finally finished it after all the tears you poured into it. Did you give it a title?”

“Yes, it’s called ‘The Legend of Zenitsu!’” he declared proudly.

There was a brief silence over the group, then Inosuke leapt to his feet, whipped his hide off, and glared at him.

“Hey, what gives? You said this book was about all of us! That is was based on our true story! So why’d you make it all about you?”

“Well, remember how I changed all of your names to protect your identities?” Zenitsu answered. “Since you all have fake names in the book, it only made sense to use my own name in the title. I was looking out for you all.”

“Yes, but if it’s about all of us, then you shouldn’t put your name in the title,” Aoi said. “Not that I care very much myself, but that’s what Inosuke’s point is.”

“Trust me, my editor already knows I used fake names except for my own,” Zenitsu went on. “He was the one who suggested I use my own name in the title.”

“That’s baloney! And, you’re pretty dumb to think we’re dumb enough to believe that!” Inosuke growled. “Tanjiro, sniff the air! Can you tell if he’s lying?”

“Yeah, he’s lying,” Tanjiro answered and simply kept eating.

“Okay, fine!” Zenitsu threw up his hands. “So, I took the credit just this once! But, you’ll all thank me later! Besides, I was getting sick of using the name ‘Akito Shimono’ on everything. It’s a lame pseudonym, and I never should’ve used it in the first place! I came up with it in a dream and couldn’t think of anything else! Now, everyone knows beautiful poetry and songs written by some mythical loser with an idiotic name. This time, they’re gonna know the real me! This is for Nezuko, my children, and all of my future descendants!”

“The twins are sleeping!” Aoi hissed again. “Seriously, if I was allowed to do anything, I’d come over there and slap you upside the head myself!”

“I’ll do it for you, baby!” Inosuke declared and cracked his knuckles.

“All right, please,” I soothed everyone. “Not at dinner. Um, Yoriichi, Saki… do you have any stories that you want to share from school today?”

“Nope,” Yoriichi answered plainly.

Saki started to give a detailed account of everything she did. Then, one of the twins started crying. Aoi put her palm to her forehead.

“That’s Kotoha,” she sighed. “Dear, you need to help me up.”

“You know which is which already?” asked Nezuko.

“Yep. Kotoha has a raspy voice like Inosuke, and Hiroshi is really loud.”

Inosuke helped Aoi to her feet, and she went to their room. Inosuke put his hide back on and inched closer to Zenitsu.

“I’m still not done with you,” he snorted.

“You know, you’re a little annoying,” Zenitsu mumbled.

After dinner, Yoriichi grabbed Tanjiro’s hand.

“Dad, what’s a pseudonym?”

“It’s a fake name,” explained Tanjiro. “Authors use them to protect their real identity.”

“Ohhh,” Yoriichi mused. “That’s cool.”

“If you grow up to be a writer, you can use one, too,” I said.

“But, I thought my name was too special.”

Tanjiro blinked and stared at him incredulously. I decided to keep going.

“Yes, everybody’s name is special,” I offered. “It’s only a suggestion, sweetheart.”

“Do you like your name, Yoriichi?” Tanjiro asked like he was panicked.

“Yeah, I do,” Yoriichi replied.

“I’m glad,” Tanjiro went on. “Now get started on your homework.”

Yoriichi scowled and trudged off to his room. Tanjiro took a deep breath.

“I was starting to think he hated his name,” he admitted.

“I know he never has,” I assured him. “I think he wonders what it’s supposed to mean for him. He wonders if he’s supposed to feel a connection.”

“But, we tell him all the time that’s not why we gave it to him.”

“Yes, I know. I think he wonders about it anyway.”

“His brain is like a puzzle,” he sighed.

“Speaking of him, let’s talk about how he’s doing in school,” I changed the subject.

Tanjiro ran his hand through his hair. “Yes, I’m worried about him. He needs to figure out what he likes. He’s excelling in every subject but he doesn’t care about any of it.”

“I don’t think he doesn’t care,” I offered. “I think something is holding him back.”

“But, what?”

“Maybe we should talk to his teacher. For now, let’s both count to ten and say the magic words.”

“Kanao…” sighed Tanjiro again. “The magic words don’t really help anymore… But, I’ll count to ten.”

He opened his mouth to start counting, but I slid into his arms and kissed him. I felt his muscles relax in my embrace, and I felt his arm wrap around me. We were alone in the kitchen now, and the crying in the distance had stopped. It was all calm again. When we broke away, his eyes had calmed down, too.

“I think you’re too quick assume the worst when it comes to him,” I said.

“What am I supposed to do when my son is clearly smarter than me?”

“He’s not smarter than you,” I chuckled. “He’s as smart as you. But, while you applied all this thinking to demon slaying, he’s trying to apply it to the real world. Keep that in mind.”

“Do you really think we should call his teacher?”

“He doesn’t tell us anything about school, so where else are we going to go for that?”

“I suppose it’s worth a shot,” he decided.

“Okay.”

I knew Yoriichi was in his room. When I got into my room, I looked at my current sewing project on the desk. It was almost done. It was an outfit for Nezuko’s new baby. All of the hand-me-downs from when Yoriichi was a baby reached their limit with Isuzu, so I had been rapidly making new ones ever since Aoi first announced she was pregnant. I thought about changing into my night clothes before continuing to work on the outfit, but I wanted Tanjiro to undress me tonight. His kiss told me everything. He wanted it, too. But, another thought preoccupied me. Yes, we would get to love, but there was one thing I really needed Tanjiro to understand. When was he going to realize that Yoriichi was just like him?

On Zenitsu’s birthday, September third, we called the doctor’s clinic. He and Nezuko had gone down three days ago. We weren’t sure if they’d pick up, but Saki and Isuzu wanted to sing “Happy Birthday” to him. I held the phone receiver down to their level as the phone rang and rang. Finally, the receiver picked up. To everyone’s surprise, the voice on the end was Zenitsu’s.

“Hello? Who is this?”

Saki and Isuzu started singing. They reached, “Happy birthday to Daddy, happy birthday to you,” and Zenitsu could easily be heard bawling his eyes out through the phone.

“Oh, thank you, my precious baby girls!” he gushed through his sobs. “But, it’s not just Daddy’s birthday today! It’s also your new brother’s!”

His voice was so loud that everyone could hear it through the receiver. Saki put her hands to her grinning mouth excitedly, while Isuzu angrily jumped up and down three times.

“No, no, Daddy! Only sisters!”

“Oh, sweetie, it will be great! Having a brother is like having a new perspective on life! His name is Jigoro, and it will be wonderful with him! Hee hee hee hee!”

Isuzu screamed and went off into her corner to face plant. Yoriichi was excited, though. I held the receiver out so we could all hear each other.

“That’s amazing, Zenitsu!” I said. “Congrats on getting your boy! Is Nezuko all right?”

“Yes, she’s fine! She’s asleep right now. Jigoro was actually born in the wee hours of the morning. Mom and baby have been asleep for a while! We’ll be home in a few days! Saki, Isuzu, you won’t believe it! Jigoro looks just like, and I mean, JUST LIKE, Daddy!”

Isuzu screamed again, this time into the floor. Saki was emotional, too.

“Come home soon, Daddy!” she cried into the phone.

“I will, my dumpling! I have three dumplings now! Mwah, I love you both so much!'

When Zenitsu hung up, Yoriichi walked over to Isuzu on the floor. I saw Tanjiro reach out to stop him, but he just sat on the floor next to her.

“Hey, Isuzu,” he called out to her. “What’s so bad about brothers?”

“Boys are bad!” Isuzu yelled. “They not nice!”

“I’m nice.”

“You a cousin!”

Yoriichi took a toy out of the toy basket and just calmly started playing with it while still sitting next to Isuzu. After a moment of hesitation, Saki went over and joined him. They both sat there playing their own games while sitting next to Isuzu, who didn’t move a muscle. Slowly, she picked her head up, looked around at her sister and her cousin, then sat up. Yoriichi took another toy out of the basket and offered it to her, and, after looking at it for a minute, she took it and started playing with it. The three of them played privately together, and Isuzu was calm. I looked at Tanjiro, who was staring at them in disbelief. I simply smiled. Aoi leaned in towards my ear.

“Look at that,” she marveled as well. “He calms everyone down. You have a gentle son.”

“That is one hundred percent his father.”

Three days later, Nezuko and Zenitsu came home with Jigoro. He did, even as a week old newborn, look exactly like Zenitsu. Saki and a placated Isuzu met him first.

“See, brothers are sweet,” Nezuko said and patted Isuzu’s head.

Jigoro had more hair than either of his sisters at birth, and it had more blonde than theirs, too. Looking closely at his face, there was nothing from his mother. It looked as if Zenitsu had been cloned. Zenitsu was head over heels happy, on a far greater scale than Nezuko. He finally got to honor Gramps.

September changed into October, and the colors of fall lit up the trees. We all went on a picnic to the river. It was amazing that we had all stayed together for so long. I held Tanjiro’s hand while we watched Yoriichi, Saki, and Isuzu play on the hill. Yoriichi was spinning around, like he was swinging a sword.

“Are you pretending to be your dad?” Zenitsu called out.

“Yeah!” he replied.

“Do you know what kind of breathing your dad used?” added Nezuko.

“Yeah, he used water-breathing,” answered Yoriichi. “I know everything about my dad.”

“Ooh!” Inosuke chimed in. “Did you know that his face puffs up when he tells a lie?”

“Hey, Inosuke!” Tanjiro barked. “He doesn’t need to know that!”

Yoriichi immediately stopped spinning.

“Wait, really?”

“Don’t listen to Mr. Hashibira,” Tanjiro told him defensively.

“But, why does it puff up when you lie?”

“Because honesty is important!”

“Don’t worry, Yoriichi,” added Nezuko. “You’ve never seen your dad tell a lie.”

“Um, well,” Yoriichi thought for a minute. “His face kind of puffed up when he told me about the watermelon seeds…”

A silence fell over the group. I turned towards Tanjiro. His face was beet red and he was trying to hide it so Yoriichi couldn’t see. Suddenly, Yoriichi spun around.

“So, Dad… babies don’t come from watermelon seeds?”

“Um, no…” Tanjiro sighed and looked down.

“Well, then, where do they come from?”

“Listen, kiddo,” mumbled Tanjiro. “How about I tell you some other time?”

“Like, tomorrow?”

“Like, in a few years.”

Yoriichi furrowed his brow. “Why is everything always in a few years?”

“Sweetheart,” I interjected. “Sit down and enjoy lunch, okay?”

Yoriichi plopped down and ate a rice ball, but he was upset. I looked around at everyone else. They didn’t seem bothered. They were focused on their own children. Yoriichi chomped his rice ball angrily and glared at Tanjiro. Tanjiro was still blushing in anger himself and avoided eye contact with both me and Yoriichi. I thought about saying something myself, then decided not to. It was between them.

When we packed up to go back to the house, Tanjiro put his hand on my shoulder. I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to intervene. I shook my head at him.

“No, you messed that up, so you’re going to undo it,” I told him.

“Kanao! He can’t know everything yet!” he whispered fiercely. “He’s only eight! I didn’t learn this until I was eleven! This is not like the stories about demon slaying!”

“I didn’t say you had to tell him,” I clarified.

“Then what do I do?!?!”

“Figure something out.”

I knew Tanjiro was mad at me, too. But, I meant what I said firmly. A ways behind us, I could hear Saki asking Nezuko and Zenitsu the same question. Zenitsu rattled off some other bizarre fairy tale. I could see Yoriichi listening as well and knowing it was a lie, too. Tanjiro took my hand and squeezed it once. I squeezed it back. Only, it was not a squeeze of I love you. It was more like a squeeze of, HELP ME.

Chapter Text

Trust

The next day, the council building called very early in the morning. I didn’t have to go to work that day, because it was impossible. In the night, after our peaceful day picnicking, a storm whipped through and knocked down a tree in the council building courtyard. It was blocking the door, so no one could get in. I sleepily listened to everything Mr. Takeda told me on the phone, then trudged back to bed. I mumbled to Kanao what happened, then got back in bed with her. When I woke up the second time, I caught the scent of another person hanging over me. It was a person who was not supposed to be in our room.

“Dad.”

I pretended to still be asleep. Kanao was still draped over me. I turned my head and buried my face in her hair.

“Dad.”

I felt Kanao start to stir awake. I didn’t dare move and wake her up faster.

“Dad!”

I felt a vein twitching. I would not be able to pretend for much longer. However, I’d been dreading this morning since the picnic. I had really wanted to go to work.

“Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!”

I finally snapped and whipped my head in his direction.

“Yoriichi Kamado, you know better than to be doing this right now!”

“But, you promised!” Yoriichi barked.

“I didn’t promise anything. I just said we would talk.”

“That’s basically a promise!”

“Sweetheart,” yawned Kanao. “Why are you so angry?”

“Because, Dad lied to me!”

“Yes, I did, but there was an incredibly good reason for it,” I said.

“That’s all you guys ever say!” Yoriichi stormed on. “That there’s a reason you don’t tell me things! But, those are all still kind of lies!”

“Sweetheart, please stop shouting,” Kanao said. “There are babies sleeping.”

“Dad owes me…”

“No, I don’t! We’re just in need of some communication,” I corrected him sternly. “And, coming in our room and waking us up is not okay anymore. You know that, Yoriichi.”

“What else was I supposed to do?”

“You could have waited patiently for me to wake up,” I told him as Kanao rolled off me. “Then, we could have started our day calmly instead of like this.”

“Well, I didn’t know when you were gonna wake up,” Yoriichi grumbled.

I sat up and looked right at him. “You are acting like you’re four.”

“You promised, Dad! You promised you were gonna tell me the truth.”

“I seem to recall the agreement being just the words, ‘we’ll talk in the morning,’” I said.

“Well, I wanna know the truth for once!”

Suddenly, an idea came to me. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

“Yoriichi, which do you want to know the truth about, the watermelon seeds, or the story of the demons?” I offered.

“Both!”

“Nope, you can only pick one for right now.”

“Why only one?”

“Because, I said so, Yoriichi.”

He sank back on his knees and thought about it carefully. I was giving him the ultimatum in the hopes he would choose what I wanted him to choose.

“The story of the demons,” Yoriichi decided.

Eighty percent of the dread left my body. Internally, I heaved a sigh of relief.

“All right, we’re gonna take a walk today and I will tell you everything.”

“But, when do I get to know the other one?”

“That one’s up to me,” I declared. “No questions about it.”

Yoriichi was still upset, but said, “Fine.”

He got up and walked out of the room. With a groan, I got up and started looking for my shirt. Suddenly, Kanao was behind me with it in her hands.

“I can still put it on for you,” she said.

I gently took it. “No, today, I’m punishing myself, too.”

“I warned you, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did…” I admitted grumpily.

“You can tell him the whole story without the gory details,” she said. “You can be honest while still glossing over some things.”

“Trust me, I almost didn’t fall asleep last night rehearsing this.”

“Tanjiro, there’s no need to calculate things anymore,” Kanao said. “You know him.”

“Yep, all too well,” I sighed as she kissed my cheek.

Because of the storm in the night, the weather was crisp outside. Yoriichi looked like an autumn leaf with his red shirt. He pouted and folded his arms. We’d been walking in silence for a while. I was trying to figure out the best place to start.

“Demons were creatures that started out as humans. They possessed strange powers, one of them being the ability to regenerate parts of their body. The first demon to walk the earth was named Muzan Kibutsuji,” I started carefully. “He had the power to create more demons using his own blood. Demons needed to eat humans in order to become more powerful, but they had two weaknesses. First, they could be destroyed by sunlight. Second, they could be beheaded with a special kind of sword called a nichirin sword, the weapon of demon slayers. Kibutsuji wanted to be able to the withstand the sun, so he created as many demons as possible in the hopes one of them would become powerful enough to gain that immunity. Because it was impossible to kill a demon without the sun or a nichirin sword, Kibutsuji wanted to become immune to the sun and wipe out the demon slayers so that he could be immortal. But, Yoriichi Tsugukuni developed the style of sun-breathing to make fighting with a sword better. He taught it to other slayers, and they developed other styles based on sun-breathing. He was the most powerful swordsman who ever lived, and he nearly defeated Kibutsuji. However, Kibutsuji got away and continued to work in the shadows for many more centuries. He was the demon who killed my family.”

Yoriichi finally looked up at me. “Really?”

“Yes. Also, Tsugukuni was important in another way,” I continued. “Three hundred years ago, he saved our ancestors from a demon. As a farewell and thanks for showing him kindness, he taught them how to use sun-breathing. Except, our ancestors didn’t use it as a swordsmanship style, they used it as a ceremonial dance called the Hinokami Kagura. I used to watch my father dance the Hinokami Kagura every winter when I was a child. That’s the only reason I ever knew how to use sun-breathing myself.”

“Wait,” Yoriichi gasped. “You told me you used water-breathing!”

“Yes, I did at first. I started using sun-breathing later. But, my point is, it was only due to a chance encounter between our ancestors and Tsugikuni that I was able to defeat Kibutsuji in the end. Tsugikuni is also the person who gave our ancestors these earrings.”

“The ones you’re wearing right now?”

“Yes. They have been in our family for over three hundred years,” I explained. “One day, Yoriichi, they will be yours.”

He looked down at the ground and thought for a minute. He furrowed his brow.

“I know this is a lot of information, kiddo,” I sighed. “That’s why I wanted to make sure you were ready. Another thing to keep in mind is that I watched a lot of my friends and mentors, as well as many innocent people, die right in front of my eyes on this journey. These are not easy stories for me to talk about. I still hate every time I have to say Muzan Kibutsuji’s name. But, no matter how much I lost, no matter how many tears I cried, and no matter how much things hurt in every way, the demons are gone now and Kibutsuji is no more. At the end of the journey, I not only walked away with my life, but I avenged the family I lost, I returned home with my friends, I fell in love, and now…”

I put my hand on his shoulder and stopped him. I knelt down and looked him straight in the eye. He had stopped pouting, and now he looked at me with sad eyes.

“Now, I have you, Yoriichi. You were born into a beautiful world, one where there are no demons. Sometimes, I wish my experience was all just a bad dream and that I’d wake up and be at home with my parents and my siblings again. But, if that were the case, then you would not be here. I may have finished the mission that Tsugikuni started, but it was only because of you that everything I went through became worth it. Everything came full circle. The sun rose, it set, and it rose again. That is who you are to me and Mom. You are a new beginning.”

He was quiet for a minute, then he spoke.

“Is that what my name means? ‘New beginning?’”

“No, the name ‘Yoriichi’ means ‘destiny,’” I answered. “But, in this peaceful world, you have the opportunity to choose whatever destiny you want. Please, do not think that you have to become the kind of man Tsugikuni was. That’s not why we named you after him. Your life is whatever you make of it. The world is a constantly changing place, kiddo. And, now, there are no more demons to threaten you.”

There was another pause. He blinked a couple times.

“Dad, is that mark on your forehead from demon slaying, too?”

A shiver ran down my spine. “Why do you ask?”

“Sei’s dad has a birthmark on his elbow,” Yoriichi explained. “But, his doesn’t look like the one you have. Yours looks like a flame. So, yours can’t really be a birthmark, right?”

I took a deep breath. I had to choose my words very carefully.

“Yes, some demon slayers manifested a mark through combat. I was one of them.”

“Why didn’t you want me to know all this?”

“Yoriichi, you’re only eight years old. But, you’re very intelligent, too. I wanted to make sure you could handle the whole truth, but now I realize that you thought I was lying to you. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. Mom and I were always going to tell you, because we felt you deserved to know. I just hoped you wouldn’t find out this early. You amaze me with how much you grow every day, kiddo. I just wanted you to hang onto your childhood as long as possible. I was forced to grow up too fast. I would never wish that for you.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“But, this never gets repeated to your cousins or the Hashibira kids, got it?” I added more firmly. “Let their parents tell them when they decide they’re ready.”

“Okay.”

“All right,” I said and stood up. “There’s one other thing we need to talk about.”

“Is it about the demons?”

“No, it’s about school. Mom and I talked to your teacher after school a few weeks ago, the day you went to Sei’s house. You behave well in school and get near perfect grades, but you act like you have no ambitions. Your teacher says that you only talk to Sei and only draw pictures or build things in your free time. That concerns me and Mom a little. We’re happy that you and Sei are such great friends, but you need to become something one day and there are other people in the world that you will have to talk to. So, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know, Dad. None of the other kids even talk to me, anyway. They’ve done that forever, before I started playing with Sei. If they do talk to me, they just say things like, ‘You’re the kid with the funny name,’ or ‘Why are your eyes red?’ They never even bothered to play with me, and they’re not interesting, anyway. It doesn’t bother me that Sei is my only friend. We have tons of fun playing by ourselves. I don’t wanna grow up to do school stuff, but everyone keeps saying I have to. I wanna be something else, but I don’t know what. School makes it sound like you can only be five things.”

“Well, just because someone is good at language doesn’t mean they have to be a writer or a language teacher. Just because someone is good at math doesn’t mean they have to be a math teacher,” I suggested, trying to smile. “There’s lots more jobs out there than just five. Of all the subjects you’re good at, is there one that’s your favorite?”

“Not really. I don’t hate any of them, but none of them are my favorite.”

“Well, maybe as you get older, you’ll start to figure it out,” I said. “But, the other kids really just excluded you from the beginning like that?”

“Yeah, they also did that to Sei. That was why I started playing with him,” Yoriichi said. “And, then when we started playing together, the other kids just did it more. No one ever told me why. They just walk away from me all the time. It doesn’t hurt my feelings, because Sei is cool, but I just don’t get it.”

“Okay, well, your teacher didn’t say anything about that,” I sighed. “All she told me was that you only talk to Sei. This was something your preschool teacher should’ve mentioned to us years ago…”

Yoriichi shrugged. “But, Dad, I’m glad I know the demon story now.”

“Did you really just want to know about Tsugikuni?”

“Yeah, but I also wanted to know about you. And, what about Mom? Did she fight the bad guy, too?”

“Your mother is the only reason I’m still alive,” I smiled. “Near the end of the final battle, I almost died. Mom gave me the medicine that saved me. She risked her life to do it, and so I’d be nothing if it weren’t for her.”

Kanao was the one who gave me Lady Tamayo’s medicine. The medicine not only made me human again, but it was the literally the reason I was still alive. That, of course, was because the antibodies were holding out my life for another seven years. I owed Kanao my life. It really was true in more ways than one.

“Wow, so Mom’s really incredible,” breathed Yoriichi.

“Yoriichi, your mother was far more powerful of a demon slayer than I ever was. She’s one of the strongest people I know.”

“For real?”

“Yes, for real. Pay close attention, Yoriichi. You’ll find that out of all the strongest people in the world, most of them are women.”

“Are most of them moms?”

“That wouldn’t surprise me at all.”

Yoriichi smiled for the first time that whole morning.

“Hey, Dad, Mom makes stuff with her hands, right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think I could try that?”

“We’ll see, kiddo,” I said and tapped his nose. “First, you need more school.”

“Do I really?”

“You’re going to school as long as I can afford it.”

“How much money do you make?” Yoriichi asked.

“Okay, now, that’s staying a secret,” I laughed.

He giggled, then he took my hand. We started heading in the direction of the house. He took it far better than I expected. His understanding of things far exceeded that of a child his age. It felt like weight was off my shoulders. I didn’t have to hide the truth from him anymore. There were some things I left out or simplified, but he knew what he deserved to know… for now. And, in the end, it wasn’t about his maturity to know the whole story. He trusted me to trust him, and I fell short. He took his hand out of mine and walked on ahead. I looked at him with both wonder and adoration. I couldn’t help but think of my own father. I was certain he had looked at me this way when we walked together, when I was a child. My amazement wasn’t only with how well Yoriichi handled the story. It was also with knowing that he was growing up. And, then, he would grow beyond me.

Chapter Text

Being There

“Listen up, everyone,” Aoi declared. “We’re moving out!”

Half of us had dinner in our mouths and nearly choked. However, Aoi was dead serious. A winter had passed and it was April. Aoi shifted Hiroshi on her knee while Inosuke made goofy faces with Kotoha next to them.

“Dear, I’m trying to give the announcement,” Aoi scolded.

“What? She loves this!” Inosuke protested.

“Not the time, I’m telling everybody our news.”

“Fine,” Inosuke pouted and sat up straight.

“Moving out?” Kanao gasped. “Why?”

“Let’s face it, this house is too crowded,” explained Aoi. “Now that the twins are almost a year old, I can go back to work soon. But, to commute back up and down the mountain is going to be impossible with these two, so Inosuke and I have decided to move into the village. That way, Inosuke can do carpentry from home, and I can be close to the clinic and still be home in time for my babies. It just works out better for us this way, it’s nothing personal.”

“We actually came up with this a long time ago,” added Inosuke. “Aoi made me keep my mouth shut, though.”

“Did she bribe you with something for that?” Zenitsu joked.

“No, she did not!” Inosuke said. “I got it just fine from the start!”

“And, the other thing is, we’re already buying a house,” Aoi admitted. “So, we’re staying here for four more months, and that’s it. But, it’s not like we’re gone forever. We’ll still see each other all the time. We are still a family, after all.”

“That’s right, and we’re glad to hear that you made the best decision for you,” I said with a smile. “Zenitsu and I will help you with moving everything.”

Yoriichi grew quiet and he’d stopped eating. Kanao noticed it, too. Aoi and Inosuke went on to tell us a few more details, including the address. Nezuko had an idea to do a move-in party, and they agreed. After dinner, Yoriichi trudged back to his room, which he now shared with Saki. I stopped him on the way.

“Hey, kiddo, what’s wrong?” I asked him.

“What did they mean, ‘this house is too crowded?’” he mumbled. “The house is fine the way it is.”

“There’s twelve people in it now, and they’re raising twins.”

“Yeah, I know…”

“You heard Mrs. Hashibira, Yoriichi,” I went on. “They’ll still be part of our family. They will always be part of our family.”

Yoriichi folded his arms across his chest.

“But, things will be so different.”

“Not that different,” I offered. “All your cousins will still be here.”

“I don’t like change!” he grumbled.

He flung open the door to his room. Then, he shut it hard.

“Yoriichi, there’s no reason for the attitude!” I called after him.

Kanao came up behind me. “Just let him go, Tanjiro. It will take a while for all of us to get used to it. Let him work through his feelings.”

“At this age, he’s going to be presented with a lot of change,” I returned.

He was nine now. I was thinking about the last time Kanao and I had dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Kuragi. They mentioned that they were considering moving Sei to a different class where the students seemed more inclusive, and Kanao and I were thinking of moving Yoriichi, too. He could stay with Sei and potentially open up to more kids. That would be a good change, but his reactions to anything new were often hostile these days.

“Still, what’s with this new attitude?” I added.

Kanao raised an eyebrow. “New?”

“Okay, he’s always had this, but it morphs into different kinds about different things,” I clarified. “It’s like every year, something else is the problem.”

“I can hear you guys talking about me!” Yoriichi called from inside the room.

“Eavesdropping is not cool!” I called back before hustling Kanao into the living room. “I understand how adjusting to Aoi and Inosuke not living here anymore will be hard for him, but he made a huge scene when we got rid of the old couch in the winter, he and Saki got into a huge fight when she moved something in the room, and he got upset when the ramen shop downtown changed its name. He’s growing up, Kanao. He has to learn to accept change. The only thing he’s mature about is washing his own hair.”

“I can still hear you, Dad!”

I marched back to the room and opened the door. Yoriichi glared up at me, arms still folded.

“Well, if you’re listening, then you can think about what Mom and I are saying,” I said as calmly as possible. “Change is everywhere, Yoriichi. Sometimes, we have to just adapt to it. I’m sad that the Hashibira family won’t be here anymore, too. However, life changes in a lot worse ways than that.”

“Sweetheart,” Kanao joined in, kneeling down to his level. “Is there something else that you’re upset about? Why is change something so scary to you?”

“I don’t know, change is okay when you add more, but not when you take away!” Yoriichi explained.

“Don’t think about the Hashibira family moving as taking away,” Kanao offered. “They’ll still be in this village, just in a different house. They aren’t being taken away, they’re just moving to a new place.”

“Saki, time to get ready for bed!” I heard Nezuko call out.

We had to move the conversation elsewhere. I thought for a minute.

“Come on, kiddo, let’s go sit outside,” I said, and extended my hand to him.

“What are we doing?” he asked.

“We’re going to talk to my family. We haven’t in a while.”

The sun was setting, but the flowers looked just as beautiful in the fading light. Yoriichi was still sulking, but he sat down with me by the flower bed. Kanao continued to stand.

“Change is part of life, Yoriichi,” I explained. “Think about these flowers. Remember the story I told you. Small things, like people moving to a new house, are one kind of change. Other changes can be serious. You will experience both over the course of your life. Change can bring sad results, and other times it brings happy results. It can also just be neutral. And, sometimes it’s permanent and sometimes it’s not.”

“That’s not what I meant, Dad,” grumbled Yoriichi. “I was just sad I won’t get to hear Mr. Hashibira’s jokes or eat Mrs. Hashibira’s food anymore.”

“But, this is the perfect opportunity to talk about this. Soon, lots of things will change for you, Yoriichi,” I went on. “You won’t always like it and it’s okay to be upset, but it’s something that’s inevitable.”

“How are things gonna change for me?”

“Yoriichi,” Kanao chimed in. “Mr. and Mrs. Kuragi are moving Sei into a different class, one that might be better for him to make more friends. If you want to move to the class, too, so you can stay with him, then your father and I are open to it. We want you to make new friends, too. However, if you do decide to join the new class, you’ll have new classmates, a new teacher, and a new schedule. If you’re so opposed to change, then you can stay in the class you’re in. You will still be friends with Sei, but he won’t be in your class anymore. You have to decide soon so Dad and I can tell your teacher.”

Yoriichi relaxed his face and opened his eyes wide. He sat up straight and looked at me, looking for approval. I nodded. He looked down at the flowers in front of him for a minute. The warm breeze passed by.

“Dad, how old were your siblings when they died?”

“Takeo and Hanako weren’t much older than you are now,” I replied. “And, Shigeru and Rokuta were even younger.”

He picked up a handful of dirt and let it fall out of his fingers slowly.

“You said I could talk to them if I felt lost, right?”

“Do you feel lost now?”

“Kind of.”

“Do you need Mom and I to leave you alone?” I asked.

He thought for a minute, and then, still looking at the ground, he nodded.

“Okay.”

Kanao and I went inside the house, but I kept an eye on him through the window. He just sat on the ground cross-legged with his chin in his hands. It looked like he was actually thinking. Occasionally, he poked the dirt with his finger.

“He’s fine, Tanjiro, you don’t have to watch him like a hawk,” Kanao said to me.

She put both of her arms around me. I gently rested my hand on her back. We hadn’t had intimate time to ourselves in a few nights. Her scent was certainly very strong.

“The most amazing thing,” I started as I stared into her eyes. “Is that he grows in just the blink of an eye.”

“What’s even more amazing,” Kanao whispered. “Is that you’re still around to blink.”

We were deeply kissing within seconds, our hands in each other’s hair, happily lost in the void. We stayed like that until Yoriichi came through the door.

“Um, Mom, Dad…?”

“H-Hey, kiddo,” I stammered awkwardly, quickly pulling away. “Did you decide?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “I wanna stay with Sei, so I’ll go to the other class. But, what if the kids in the new class just ignore me, too?”

“We’re gonna talk to your teacher, sweetheart,” Kanao replied. “We’ll make sure it won’t happen again.”

“Okay,” was all that Yoriichi said.

He walked back to his room and I turned back to Kanao.

“Did you ever figure out why the other kids just ignored him and Sei?” I asked.

”Well, his third grade teacher last year didn’t know, so I phoned his old preschool teacher privately,” Kanao explained. “She said that it was because both of them threw tantrums and cried on their first day.”

“What?!?!” I exclaimed. “How are we only finding out about this years later? That’s just completely ridiculous!”

“This is good change,” Kanao added. “We’re making the right decision.”

“And, why doesn’t he tell us anything?” I added.

“Maybe you should talk to him about that.”

“I’ll try.”

I just had to wait for a suitable opportunity. Those weren’t easy to find. I’d have time to think about how to talk to him tomorrow on the way to work. For now, Kanao and I went back to our room. It was a good night for love.

The next morning at work, I was in my office when the phone rang. No one usually called my office, except for Kanao or other family members. I still dreaded picking it up.

“Hello, you’ve reached Councilman Tanjiro Kamado,” I mumbled in embarrassment.

“Hello, Tanjiro, it’s Ken Yamashita.”

I perked up. “Oh, hello.”

“I’m calling to let you know in advance that I’m not going to be around when you come to our village next week,” he said. “We’re going out to the countryside to visit my parents."

“Oh, all right,” I replied. “Thanks for calling directly. You didn’t have to do that, though.”

“Well, there’s a chance we may come back early, because the kids can’t be out of school for that long,” he explained. “Still, it’s highly unlikely that I’m going to be able to make it to the actual meeting.”

“I could come visit you if possible,” I suggested, smiling and perking up. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“You don’t have to, but that’s all right with me! My family knows all about you now, but Kagura doesn’t believe you have red hair,” Ken laughed. “Anyway, I have to go, but if I do get to see you soon, then I’m looking forward to it!”

I thought for a minute after he hung up. I didn’t talk about Ken much to my own family, except for Kanao. I kind of felt bad that he had told his family so much about me when I hadn’t told mine much about him. The trip next week had actually slipped my mind, which was worse. Between that and trying to figure out how to move Yoriichi to a different class, which wouldn’t even happen until he reached the next grade, my mind had gone fuzzy.

Additionally, I wanted to know why my son wasn’t talking to me about important things. When he found out that I lied to him about the watermelon seeds, it was like he was betrayed. I thought that I had repaired that when I opened up to him about the story of the demons, but, apparently, his trust in me hadn’t been restored. Either that, or there was some kind of blockage when it came to school. Kanao and I should have found out about his problems with the other kids years ago, and we were upset with the teachers, too. I felt like a bad father for not thinking more about his distance earlier. I became aware of a voice calling my name.

“Kamado? Hey, Kamado, are you okay?”

It was Mr. Takeda. I realized my head was in my hand and I shot up.

“Yes?”

“I just needed to let you know that Mr. Yamashita won’t be at the meeting next week.”

“He actually just called me and told me.”

“You’ve become really close with Yamashita, haven’t you?” Mr. Takeda mentioned. “It’s really helped our business with that village.”

“I’m glad to know that,” I said. “Yes, he’s become a friend.”

“They might come to us next time,” added Mr. Takeda. “Finally, right? Iwamatsu is going to retire soon, so they’ll be able to travel. Soon, you won’t have to move around so much.”

The family, especially Kanao and Yoriichi, would be very excited to hear that. I was also just realizing the impacts of Inosuke and Aoi moving out. If they already bought the house, how long had they been planning this? They had to have been since the twins were born, maybe even before. With less people in the house, I would need to be home even more.

“That’s great!” I exclaimed happily. “That comes at just the right time for my family.”

“How is your family? How’s your son?”

“Oh, well, you know, he’s nine,” I chuckled nervously. “He’s going through some stuff at school.”

“He’s nearing a difficult age,” Mr. Takeda said.

“Yes, he is.”

This was exactly all I ever wanted, though, to see him reach that difficult age and be able to help him through it. My next trip to the Butterfly Mansion would come up soon, as well. I’d test my blood with Kiriya again and observe at what rate the antibodies were breaking down, which determined how much longer I had. Every time I went, Kiriya mentioned that they were steadily breaking down, but at a much slower rate than Yushiro’s analysis predicted. A possible explanation was that I had only been a demon for an hour, so the antibodies didn’t have as much to fight off. Therefore, they lost less of their strength on impact. I never expected any more time than the ten years I was initially told, but to think that, maybe, I’d be able to be there for my son just a little longer… it did often make me smile to myself.

On the way home, I thought about how I was going to get Yoriichi to talk to me about the other kids at school. However, maybe he already told me everything there was to know. I wasn’t sure if I should try and coax him too much. He hated being forced to do anything, and I didn’t like forcing him to do anything, anyway. Still, it was about communicating with my child. He needed to know that he could talk to me about anything. I regretted the whole watermelon seeds incident, but I couldn’t have told him the truth back then. He took the story of the demons much better than I thought he would, but that was a completely different circumstance. Kanao had joked that the only repercussions of the watermelon seeds lie would be a lifetime of generational myths, but it had done something worse. It made Yoriichi question me.

When I got home, I was surprised to find Yoriichi sitting in the front doorway by himself. He had his face in his hands.

“Kiddo? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled.

“Clearly something happened.”

“Saki, Isuzu, and I were playing and Auntie Nezuko and Mrs. Hashibira said we were in the way.”

“Is it because they were with the babies?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s because babies need a lot of space.”

“I get that part, it’s just now I have nothing to do. Mrs. Hashibira was complaining about how the schedule for cooking dinner is all messed up now, and then Mom got frustrated because she had to do it and wasn’t planning on it. Then Saki and Isuzu stopped playing with me and started playing dumb girl stuff in my room, so I came out here.”

“Yoriichi, that room is Saki’s room, too.”

“When Mr. and Mrs. Hashibira move out, can that room be mine?” Yoriichi asked. “Saki fidgets in her sleep and sometimes it keeps me awake. And, she keeps moving stuff around and I don’t like that.”

“We’ll talk about it, okay?” I replied.

“Hey, Dad, I also went in Mr. Hashibira’s shed.”

I furrowed my brow. “I’ve told you before that you’re not allowed in there. There’s some dangerous tools in there.”

“I was just curious about something he and Uncle Zenitsu were talking about.”

“Which was what?”

“Well, they said that the big boxes in the back are where all the old swords are kept.”

I sighed. “Yes, they are. They are important relics, but they’re also serious reminders of a difficult past. Many of them are broken. Now that you know, will you be mindful of that?”

“Sure,” said Yoriichi. “But, if they’re broken, why don’t you get them fixed?”

“Well, the sword smiths who made them no longer exist,” I explained. “After the Demon Slayer Corps was disbanded, the smiths moved on to other professions. Also, our swords were broken during the final battle against Kibutsuji. Many of our friends died in that battle. To repair the swords would be forgetting about the sacrifice of the people we fought alongside. You can’t forget the past, Yoriichi, but you can learn from it.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Did Mom find out you went in the shed and get upset with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that another reason you’re sitting out here moping?”

“Uh-huh.”

I sat down next to him. “Yoriichi, why didn’t you tell me and Mom about the other kids ignoring you at school? Or, that your teachers weren’t doing anything about it? We should have found about this when you were little, not now.”

“Well, it didn’t bother me so much because I had Sei,” explained Yoriichi.

“That’s still something we need to know about.”

“I don’t know, I guess it’s because I thought the teacher wouldn’t do anything even if I did tell you,” Yoriichi admitted and hugged his knees to his chest.

“Well, if you say something about it, it creates the opportunity to change,” I said. “If you say nothing at all, then you guarantee it to never change.”

Yoriichi leaned up against my side. I put my arm around him and held him close.

“Dad, I like talking to you,” he mused peacefully.

“You can talk to me about anything, kiddo,” I said softly with a smile.

He really could talk to me about anything, but that also included things I didn’t want to talk about. I just had to accept that we would eventually get to that point. Suddenly, Kanao was standing behind us.

“Is there room for three out here?” she asked playfully.

“I’m sorry about the shed…” Yoriichi mumbled.

“Sweetheart, it’s not a big deal.”

“Something smells good,” I said.

“Dinner is almost ready,” replied Kanao.

She sat down with us. She embraced us both and rested her head on my shoulder. Yoriichi smiled and closed his eyes.

“Mom, Dad… how old are you guys?”

“We are both twenty-eight,” I replied.

“So, when you were nine, did you want to grow up or did you want to still be kids?”

“I was a little like you, Yoriichi,” I said. “I didn’t want anything to change.”

“What about you, Mom?”

Kanao smiled sadly. “I never thought about it.”

“When we have the party at Mr. and Mrs. Hashibira’s new house, can we bring dango?” Yoriichi asked.

“Why don’t we figure out food when it gets closer to that?” I laughed.

“Yes, and go wash up for dinner,” Kanao added.

Yoriichi went inside and Kanao looked at me. She had tears in her eyes. I knew why she was crying. I almost wasn’t able to be here for these moments.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“For what?”

“Saving my life… in more ways than one.”

She reached up and shut the front door so no one would see us kissing. If anything, we’d fallen even more in love. Now, I was able to be there for her for longer, too. We nearly forgot about dinner. The pork in the sukiyaki was a little charred that night, but it was worth it.

Chapter Text

Beautiful Conversations

The next weekend, on my visit to the village to the South, I was able to meet Ken briefly before I left. I knew that his oldest son, Takeshi, was thirteen, his middle son, Ryuji, was eleven, and his daughter Kagura was the same age as Yoriichi. He was very excited when he opened the door and saw me. He invited me in for a quick cup of tea and I met his wife, Mitsuri. Her name was the same as the late Love Hashira, Mitsuri Kanroji. Her appearance was completely different than Miss Kanroji, but she had the same cheerful personality.

“Where are your kids?” I asked Ken.

“The boys are out with friends,” he replied. “Kagura is here somewhere.”

As if on cue, a little girl appeared around the corner. She stopped short when she saw me at her living room table. She had long, gently curly black hair and large brown eyes. She looked almost older than nine.

“Kagura, can you say hi to Mr. Kamado?” Ken called out. “I told you he has red hair.”

“Hello,” she said. “You have red eyes, too.”

“That’s right,” I answered with a smile.

“Mr. Kamado has a son your age,” continued Ken.

“That’s cool,” Kagura said, and hurried away.

Ken laughed. “For a girl that talks and talks back nonstop at home, she’s pretty quiet with strangers. She’s fearless, though. It drives Mitsuri crazy.”

I left that trip feeling happier than usual. It was nice to meet Ken’s family for once. When he came to my village, I’d introduce him to mine.

In four months time, we threw Inosuke and Aoi a housewarming party. Their new house was actually very nice. After the fit of fighting that me and Zenitsu got into moving most of the furniture, the inside looked nice, too. We had lots of good food and lots of laughs. The three little ones played together. Kotoha was walking more than Hiroshi. Jigoro could crawl, but not walk, and he kept going after Kotoha. Occasionally, Kotoha would bend down to his level and they’d bat their hands at each other.

“Awww, how cute!” Nezuko gushed. “It’s like they’re future soulmates!”

“NO!!!” Zenitsu shouted, nearly jumping to his feet. “I will not be in-laws with Inosuke!!!”

“What are in-laws?” Inosuke whispered in Aoi’s ear.

“Don’t worry, dear,” replied Aoi. “I won’t let it happen, either.”

It was certainly very strange without them in the house, but they came by all the time. We came to them just as much. Four months passed again. A week after his tenth birthday, Yoriichi came up to me as I was washing up in the bathroom. I had a mouthful of toothpaste. I was trying to be patient, but he was hovering right next to me.

“What’s up, kiddo?” I garbled.

“I’m ten now,” he said matter-of-factly. “That’s double digits.”

“Yes, it is.”

“So, are you gonna tell me the truth about the watermelon seeds now?”

I choked on the toothpaste and nearly threw it all up into the sink. I hacked and sputtered while Yoriichi stood there, waiting.

“Now is not a good time,” I replied, wiping my mouth.

“Why not?”

“Because, it’s time for bed.”

“Yeah, but, I’m not in the same room as Saki and Isuzu anymore,” he insisted. “You can just come in my room and tell me and they won’t have to know anything.”

“This isn’t really a bedtime discussion,” I coughed. “Tomorrow’s Sunday. We can go for a walk and I’ll tell you then.”

His eyes grew huge. “You’re actually gonna tell me?”

He’d been asking about the watermelon seeds for two years. He was in a new class now, and our plan worked. He and Sei were actually opening up to the other kids. The house was quiet now, and, aside from Aoi and Inosuke moving, not much had changed in the past eight months. As much as I didn’t want to do this, it was time.

“Yes, I’m actually gonna tell you,” I sighed. “I was eleven when my father told me. But, you have to promise not to repeat this to anyone, not your cousins, not Sei, and no one else at school. This information is very sensitive and it’s up to other parents to decide when their children learn it.”

Yoriichi nodded vigorously. “Got it, got it.”

“Okay,” I said. “Tomorrow, after lunch, we’re gonna take a walk through the woods.”

I face planted into bed that night. Kanao looked at me suspiciously.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Watermelon seeds…” I mumbled.

“You’ll be fine.”

“Can you come with me?”

“What did I tell you? You started it, you finish it,” she laughed.

“You’re really not helpful right now.”

“You’ll be fine, Tanjiro,” she repeated, and started playing with my hair.

The next day, as soon as we were done with lunch, Yoriichi pulled on his snow boots and stood by the door. I groaned internally. Kanao simply kissed me on the cheek and pushed me out. I plodded along while Yoriichi skipped on ahead of me. He still didn’t need an extra coat. In his red checkered shirt, he looked like a bright cherry against the snow. In my green one, I probably looked like a small pine tree.

“Yoriichi, why do you want to know this so badly?”

“Because, I’m ten now,” he replied. “Now, I’m a big kid. You can’t keep secrets from me anymore.”

I felt a small ice shard in my heart. So, he still never fully forgave me, even after several times I thought our conversations had healed it.

“Some secrets are important,” I said. “But, you are right. This is something that all people learn. I’m deciding now that you’re ready. I hope I don’t turn out to be wrong.”

“You’re not wrong, Dad!” Yoriichi happily declared.

His excited energy was proof he was too innocent. He had absolutely no idea what I was about to tell him. I felt my stomach churn, not over the subject matter, but over how I was going to squash his innocence. Finally, I found a spot with two large rocks next to each other.

“Let’s sit here,” I said.

Yoriichi plopped down and looked up at me expectantly. This was incredibly important. I had to look him in the eye. It was essential that he didn’t see anything in my face that suggested that it was going to start puffing, which meant I couldn’t hold any truth back. I knew Kanao was right about getting myself into this, but I sure wished she was there.

“Okay, Yoriichi…”

What I told him was a paraphrasing of how my father explained it to me, as accurately as I could remember. Over the course of the conversation, I watched Yoriichi’s smile fade, his seat shift, and his eyes lose their gaze. I used all the vocabulary, some of which he already knew. My descriptions were very thorough, and I didn’t leave anything out. Finally, I was done explaining. He stared at me for a few minutes, waiting for confirmation that I wasn’t going to say any more. Then, he looked down at his snow boots. He was very quiet. The air didn’t feel heavy, though. It was a fresh snow. It felt tranquil.

“Why, though?” he finally asked.

“Which part in particular are you confused about?”

“I don’t get what makes people do that.”

“Love,” I answered.

“But, how does love make you do that?”

“When you fall in love, you just find yourself wanting it. It’s human nature.”

“So, this is how I was born, too?”

“This is how everyone is born.”

“So… you… and Mom… did that?”

“Yes.”

“Do people only do it when they want to have a kid?”

“No, people do it other times, too, just because they’re in love.”

“Even you and Mom?”

“Yes.”

“What do you mean by ‘human nature?’”

“Being human is beautiful, kiddo,” I said. “This is one of the things that makes it so.”

“Dad, can you tell me one part again?”

“Sure.”

I repeated the part he wanted to know more about. He looked up for the first time since he started asking questions.

“How is all of that ‘beautiful?’” Yoriichi went on.

“Well, that’s hard to explain,” I said. “I didn’t understand it at first, either.”

“You do now?”

“Yoriichi… what did I just tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“About me and Mom, and how you were born.”

“Oh, right.”

He paused again. Somewhere in the distance, snow fell from a tree and made a powdery, soft thump.

“Does… love happen to everyone…?” he went on.

“Yes.”

“Even me?”

“You’re only ten years old, kiddo.”

“But, I’m gonna grow up.”

“Yes, you will, as much as I’ll cry over it.”

“Why will you cry?” Yoriichi asked. “Because you want me to stay a kid?”

“Yes and no,” I answered, and smiled for the first time that day. “It’s also because it will be beautiful to watch.”

Yoriichi was quiet again, but he didn’t look down at his boots. Instead, he looked around at the trees.

“Dad, I don’t think I’m gonna do any of the stuff you were talking about. I don’t want to be in love with anyone.”

“It’s pretty bewildering,” I said. “No one ever thinks it will really happen to them. I never thought about love until I was almost sixteen.”

“What happened when you were sixteen?” Yoriichi asked, looking at me curiously.

“I fell in love.”

He turned his head away from me again.

“So… people just fall in love randomly?” he muttered.

“That’s right.”

“And, there’s nothing you can do to stop it?”

“Nope, not really.”

“What if you just never look for it?”

“It finds you, anyway.”

“Dad, can you repeat another part to me?”

I repeated more details to him. I didn’t expect him to be this responsive. I was afraid he’d shut down, get angry, throw a tantrum, or cry. I had a much easier time explaining than I thought I would, too. Yoriichi stood up and walked over to a tall tree. He gazed up at it curiously. He was getting tall, too. That had to be Kanao’s side of the family. I wasn’t that tall and my father wasn’t that tall, and I hit my growth spurt late. Maybe he would even be taller than me.

“Do animals do this, too?” he asked.

“Everything that lives and breathes.”

“Trees?”

“No, not trees,” I chuckled.

He turned back and faced me for the first time since we started.

“Um, Dad, this isn’t what I thought you were gonna tell me.”

“What did you think I was going to tell you?”

“I don’t know, but it wasn’t this.”

“No one expects this, Yoriichi.” I walked over to him. “That’s why I needed to know you were ready first. Do you understand now why some secrets are kept for a reason?”

“Yes…” he mumbled and made a face.

“What’s wrong, kiddo?”

“This is super weird.”

“It’s okay to be uncomfortable,” I told him. “It’s okay if you don’t understand everything right away. I didn’t understand it either, when my father first told me. It didn’t click for me until I met your mother.”

“Why did Mom make it click?”

“Because, I fell in love with her.”

“Is that your answer for everything?” Yoriichi asked disappointedly.

“On this particular subject, yes.”

“Why does love change so much?”

I knelt down to his level and tapped his nose. I was actually smiling genuinely now.

“It’s that powerful.”

“Well, I love you, Dad,” Yoriichi said. “And, I love Mom. I know that you and Mom love each other. But, I don’t feel any power or anything.”

“You know how excited you get when I come home from my trips?”

“Yes.”

“Remember when I got angry because I was scared you hurt yourself when we slid down that muddy hill that one time?”

“Yes.”

“And, remember how Mom and I were worried that you weren’t having a good time in school?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all because of love,” I said. “Love makes you feel lots of other kinds of emotions. You feel the power when you’re glad I’m home. Yes, the kind of love that is romantic and makes you want to do these other things is different, but love exists everywhere. In the end, love always saves the day.”

“Like, actually saves the day?”

“Hey, remember how I told you that Mom saved me with that medicine?” I said. “I definitely would have died if she hadn’t given it to me. And, then you wouldn’t be here. So, yes, love can actually save the day.”

“Um, Dad,” Yoriichi said. “I’m still glad you told me.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because, it’s the truth…”

“I have never lied to you because I didn’t trust you,” I told him. “Yes, I made up that lie about the watermelon seeds, but do you think you could have handled knowing what I just told you when you were eight?”

“No…”

“I didn’t want to tell you the story of the demons back then for the same reason. You were much better about that than I expected, but this was very different.”

“Yeah, it was…”

“I’m glad I got to have this conversation with you, too, kiddo,” I said.

“Why’s that?”

I thought for a minute. “Because… I didn’t think I would ever get the chance.”

As much as I’d been dreading and overthinking this conversation, that was the truth, too. These were the first things I thought about when I learned my life was extended. I thought back to when the first blood test came back at the Butterfly Mansion, and Kiriya and I almost didn’t believe it. We double and triple checked it, until it fully registered. The first person I thought of was not myself, nor was it Kanao. It was Yoriichi. I cried when I came home and told everyone the news, but the only reason I didn’t cry even more was because I’d already wept so hard at the Butterfly Mansion when I first found out. I was consumed with the joy that I’d get to be there for Yoriichi in moments like this. Still, I never wanted to see the light in his eyes go out.

He was looking at me sideways with raised eyebrows.

“Dad, are you crying?”

“A little,” I laughed, and rubbed my eyes. “There’s no greater blessing than being born, to be given life, Yoriichi. Therefore, the things that lead to birth are beautiful. You’ll understand in time. We all understand eventually.”

“Everyone?”

“Yes, everyone.”

When we got home, Yoriichi went straight to his room. Kanao was in the living room and saw him go by, so she turned to me worriedly.

“Is he all right? Did you two fight?”

“He’s fine,” I assured her. “He just had a lot for one day.”

“Of course.”

“Actually, in retrospect, I’m glad you stayed out of it.”

She smiled playfully. “Yes. He needed to hear it from his father.”

“I love you, Kanao Kamado,” I whispered with a smile. “You’re always right.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered back. “And, yes, I am, most of the time.”

We kissed now that we were alone. Love… I was really glad I came to understand it.

Chapter Text

My Real Name

Yoriichi never said anything about it, and I never asked… but it was obvious that Tanjiro was his favorite. It wasn’t that I thought he didn’t love me, because I knew he did. It was just that Tanjiro was the first one of us he turned to for guidance, the first he asked his unyielding stream of questions too, and the first he told anything new. I had known from the time he was only a baby that I’d always be secondary. It didn’t bother me much. Yoriichi needed his father. Only Tanjiro could tell him the truths of life. He emanated a certain kind of wisdom that Yoriichi desperately needed. I didn’t have that, and I never would. After the new year, Tanjiro took another trip to the Butterfly Mansion. Yoriichi begged to go with him. He even packed his things. If I hadn’t caught on to what he was doing, he would’ve followed Tanjiro down the mountain. He was fast with his long legs. He was really shooting up like a weed.

“Sorry, kiddo,” Tanjiro said. “Not yet.”

Following the talk, Yoriichi was more understanding of having to wait to learn. However, he still pouted.

“Eleven? Twelve? Thirteen?” he asked with his arms folded.

“How about this,” Tanjiro suggested with a smile. “When you’re taller than me, then I’ll take you.”

“What kind of answer is that?” Yoriichi grumbled.

Tanjiro knelt at Yoriichi’s level. He certainly didn’t have to kneel so low anymore.

“Go look in the mirror,” he laughed. “It’ll happen a lot sooner than you think.”

If there was one upside to Tanjiro’s trips, it was that I got to spend more close time with my son. So, when Tanjiro waved goodbye and disappeared down the mountain, I put my hand on Yoriichi’s shoulder. He looked up at me.

“Any requests for dinner?” I asked him. “I’ll put in a word to Auntie Nezuko.”

“I don’t really know, but whatever it is, I want pork dumplings with it,” Yoriichi replied. “But, no one makes them as good as Mrs. Hashibira.”

“We’ll see the Hashibira family soon,” I said. “And, I’ll even let her know that you want pork dumplings.”

Yoriichi was ten now, and Saki would be seven very soon. This year, Isuzu would be five, and Hiroshi, Kotoha, and Jigoro would be two. Tanjiro was going to be thirty in the summer. To think we had gotten this far… it was amazing. Yoriichi looked up at me. He had stopped pouting and returned to his usual curious look.

“Are you all right, Mom?”

“Yes, I’ll be fine,” I said. “I miss Dad when he’s gone, too.”

“This Butterfly Mansion place has to do with demon slaying, right?”

“Yes, it was the headquarters for the Demon Slayer Corps,” I replied. “The mansion itself isn’t the sensitive part of your father’s trips, Yoriichi. It’s why he’s going.”

“Can you just tell me a little bit?” Yoriichi gently pleaded. “I promise I won’t ask about anything else.”

“All right,” I said. “One burning question.”

“How come it’s just Dad? Why don’t you go, too, or any of the parents?”

“It’s because Dad defeated Kibutsuji himself, and what he has to talk about with Kiriya is about what happened in that battle.”

“I thought all of you fought against Kibutsuji in the final battle,” said Yoriichi.

“Yes, we did, but it was Dad who defeated him,” I explained. “Even all these years later, the effects of that battle are still around. That’s why Dad goes alone, and that’s why he can’t take you there yet.”

Yoriichi puffed up his cheeks like a fish and slowly blew the air out. I could tell he was dissatisfied with my answer, but was done asking questions for the moment.

I smiled at him. “How about some time with Mom this week?”

He smiled back. “Yeah! Like what?”

“We could take a trip into the village,” I suggested.

His eyes lit up. “Can we see another movie?”

“The movie theater will still be closed, but I can think of some other fun places we can go,” I said. “Let’s just see what we can find.”

I was taking him to the village because I wanted him to see the different vendors. Yoriichi was still excelling in school, but continuously told us that nothing interested him. The teachers told us that he made things out of paper during breaks. Perhaps, Yoriichi wasn’t meant for school. He was meant for something hands-on, something that he actually had to make to learn about. Tanjiro was adamant about keeping him in school for as long as possible, despite the fact that he was the one who originally insisted on homeschooling him. It was part of his new overprotectiveness. He just wanted to give Yoriichi the best he could. However, Yoriichi needed to become somebody, and he needed to decide for himself. Maybe we would find in the village.

Because it was right after the new year, not many vendors were open yet, but it was still a good opportunity to window shop. Yoriichi stopped in front of Mr. Inamoto’s jewelry shop first.

“Look how shiny these are!” he exclaimed about the rings and necklaces.

“This is where your father bought the ring he proposed to me with,” I told him.

He looked at me with wide eyes and then took my hand. He studied my rings closely.

“You get married with these?”

“That’s right,” I replied. “The ring with the stone on it is kind of like a promise. Then, the ring without the stone is what you put on when you actually get married.”

“Dad doesn’t have a ring, though,” Yoriichi said.

“He does, it’s just on the hand he can’t use,” I explained. “So, it’s hard to notice.”

“What happened to Dad’s hand?”

“When he defeated Kibutsuji, his arm was crushed and nearly destroyed by the impact of it,” I lied a little. “Since then, he can’t feel anything below the elbow.”

“What was Dad like as a fighter?” Yoriichi asked with wide eyes.

“He was a sight to behold,” I reminisced. “He swung his sword like it was an extension of his body. When he used his sun-breathing techniques, it lit up the whole night. Your father was incredibly strong, incredibly determined, and he never backed down.”

“Wow…” Yoriichi mused.

“Come on, let’s go find some vendors,” I changed the subject. “Do you want to see how they blow glass?”

“Yeah, that sounds cool!”

I thought Yoriichi would like the glass-blowing in particular because it stayed within the family tradition of working with fire. Even though charcoal selling wasn’t relevant in the village anymore with the changing times, I thought he might like something that felt close to his roots. He admired the glass wares for sale and listened intently to the vendor on how glass was made. I was watching him closely. I’d never seen him more interested.

“What’s your name?” Yoriichi asked the vendor.

“My name is Makoto Banno,” he replied with a smile. “It’s an honor to meet Councilman Kamado’s beloved son.”

Yoriichi’s mouth fell open. “You know me already?”

“Well, you look so much like your dad,” Mr. Banno laughed. “And, everyone knows your wonderful mother, Lady Kamado, the quilt maker, too. What’s your name, young man?”

“My name’s Yoriichi!” Yoriichi declared proudly. “What do you mean by ‘beloved?’”

“It means the people in the village know how much Dad loves you,” I interjected. “And, actually, Mr. Banno, I was wondering how much it is for the blue pitcher.”

“That’s 4,000 yen,” answered Mr. Banno. “Any special treat, my lady?”

“A New Year’s gift for the Hashibira family,” I replied. “Aoi Hashibira, the head doctor at the clinic, and her husband, Inosuke. They’re close friends of ours.”

Mr. Banno carefully wrapped the pitcher and wished us a good day. Yoriichi smiled over his shoulder as we were leaving. Mr. Banno smiled back at him. Perhaps my plan was working. We visited a few more vendors, but Yoriichi wasn’t nearly as excited about them as he was about the glass blowing. Then, it was time to go back up the mountain.

“Why did we need to get a present for Mr. and Mrs. Hashibira?” asked Yoriichi.

“It’s just a nice thing I thought of while we were there,” I replied. “They don’t have much in their new house yet, and they’re pretty busy with the twins.”

“Mom, that glass stuff was really, really cool.”

“It was,” I said with a smile. “There are lots of jobs out there that don’t have to do with subjects in school. You need the knowledge they teach you in school, but they’re fun and you get to work with your hands.”

“I like working with my hands!”

“I know, sweetheart. So, tell me, who are the new friends you and Sei made at school?”

“There’s this kid, Kakeru, and this other kid, Goro,” Yoriichi answered. “They’re still the only other cool ones in the class.”

“At least, you have more people to play with,” I said.

“I want to invite them to the house, but I asked Dad and he said ‘no.’”

“He actually said that?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Well, not really, but he said it would be hard with how many people are in the house,” Yoriichi explained.

I thought for a minute. Tanjiro did have a point about that. I’d talk to him about it when he came back from the Butterfly Mansion. When we reached the house, the silence was split by the sound of Jigoro wailing from inside. Zenitsu, Saki, and Isuzu were standing outside. Zenitsu looked overwhelmed and Isuzu looked grumpy.

“Oh, dear,” I said. “What happened?”

“We decided to give Nezuko her space,” Zenitsu replied.

“Jigoro spit up everywhere and started crying!” Isuzu grumbled. “He’s so loud!”

“He is a baby, sweetie,” sighed Zenitsu, although he was rubbing his ears, too. “Hey, Kanao, can I ask you a favor? Can you take over for dinner, because I don’t think Nezuko can do it now.”

I gave him slightly narrowed eyes. “Why can’t you do it?”

“Because, I have to entertain the girls now!” Zenitsu explained. “Besides, I made dinner yesterday.”

Sometimes he was truly annoying, but I accepted. Yoriichi looked up at me.

“But, Mom what should I do?”

“Why don’t you play with your cousins?” I offered. “Is it okay if he tags along, Zenitsu?”

“Sure, that’s fine,” Zenitsu replied.

Yoriichi glanced at Isuzu fuming and suddenly tugged on my sleeve.

“Actually, I want to help you cook, Mom. Is that okay?”

“Um, sure,” I said with surprise. “Do you really want that?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then!” I declared, then turned back to Zenitsu. “You three have fun!”

“Sure thing, hahaha,” Zenitsu laughed nervously.

He muttered something else to Isuzu about “no more attitude,” and then they went down the mountain.

The living room was empty. The crying was coming from Nezuko and Zenitsu’s room. I told Yoriichi to wait in the kitchen and calmly knocked on their door. An overwhelmed Nezuko poked her head out and was surprised to see it was me. I explained to her that I was going to cook dinner in her place and she almost broke down crying herself in relief. She mentioned something about how she’d hug me if she could, and then she shut the door. I returned to Yoriichi in the kitchen. After I confirmed that Auntie Nezuko and Jigoro were “okay,” he perked up.

“What do you want to make, Mom?”

“How about something simple, like stir fry?” I suggested.

Yoriichi nodded and offered to cook the rice. I had shown him how to boil water before and trusted him with it. While he patiently waited for the water to bubble, I started chopping the vegetables.

“Hey, Mom, I know all about Dad’s family,” he piped up. “But, you never told me about yours.”

“I have told you,” I answered. “I was raised by sisters named Kanae and Shinobu Kocho. I was a homeless child, and they took me in. They were both demon slayers, so they raised me to be one, too. They were Hashira, so I grew up at the Butterfly Mansion. They were both killed by a demon a long time ago.”

“Yeah, but, Kanae and Shinobu weren’t actually your sisters,” continued Yoriichi. “And, you told me that your real last name was ‘Tsuyuri.’ I want to know about my Tsuyuri family. Do they have a home now? Do I have grandparents or cousins?”

I stopped chopping and put down the knife. It was time to tell him.

“You see, Yoriichi, I was born into poverty to abusive parents. They didn’t feed me, they physically beat me, and they didn’t give me a name. I had brothers, maybe two, or three, but they either starved or were abused by our parents. I was the lucky one. They sold me off for money and that’s when Kanae and Shinobu found me and saved me. They were the ones who named me. Kanae derived my first name from her own, and I chose the last name ‘Tsuyuri’ from a list. That became my name. It was something to call myself, even if I never thought about it too much. I barely had any attachment as a child, because I shut off my emotions in order to deal with my abusive childhood. To this day, I can’t remember my parents’ faces. I can only remember that my father was tall. I don’t want to know remember anything else about him, because he didn’t love me. I especially don’t want to know his family name, if he had one. There’s only been one name I’ve truly wanted to belong to, and now I do. My real last name is ‘Kamado.’ I married the love of my life and he gave me you. Yes, I did love my sisters. But, I have my real family now.”

Yoriichi started at me with huge, round eyes. After a while, he took a deep breath.

“So… your parents were really that horrible?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Could… your parents still be out there somewhere, though?”

“It’s possible.”

His eyes started to water. “But, why would they be horrible to their own kid? Why didn’t they love you? That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“There are many horrible people in the world, sweetheart,” I said. “There may not be any demons left, but human beings can be like demons, too. The place where I was born had no food, no running water, was dirty, and had no shelter. I don’t like thinking back, but I know I wasn’t the only child who was treated in such a way. I remember most people being cruel. But, Yoriichi, all of that is over now. I’m here today as your mother, and I love you very much. Dad and I will always love you, and we’ll never hurt you.”

Yoriichi started to cry heartily and buried his face in my apron. I calmly removed the boiling water pot before kneeling down to his level and taking him into my arms.

“Mom,” he hiccuped through his tears. “I love your sisters for saving you. Can you tell them that for me?”

“Of course,” I whispered lovingly, rubbing his back. “They’re both looking on from the world after and watching over you, just like Dad’s family is. Kanae always wanted me to fall in love. I don’t know if she could’ve seen as far as me having you, though. She’s probably amazed at how much you’ve grown.”

“She’d be happy that you’re such a great mom!” Yoriichi sobbed.

I teared up, too. “Thank you, sweetheart. That means a lot to me.”

“Mom, what do you love most about Dad?”

“It’s hard to explain,” I chuckled. “I love the way he sees good in almost everyone and genuinely believes in people. He genuinely believed in me. I didn’t know how to trust my own heart, and he taught me to. That was a wall that not even Kanae and Shinobu could break down. There are so many things, Yoriichi. But, we have to get dinner ready now. How about I tell you the rest of them another time?”

Yoriichi let go of me and wiped his eyes. “Okay. Promise?”

“I promise.”

The words “I promise” couldn’t be used lightly around Yoriichi. I really did intend to tell him everything about his father, but not when he was ten. There were also things I could never tell him, such as how I loved the way Tanjiro breathed in his sleep, the gentle way he touched my face, the sound of his heart, and the way he told me, I love you, Kanao Kamado. I could never explain exactly how he loved. I also couldn’t tell Yoriichi about the great fear that consumed me every time Tanjiro left for a trip, the irrational dread that the antibodies would randomly fail while he was gone. Every time he came back from visiting Kiriya, Tanjiro reported that the antibodies in his blood were holding up extremely well. Still, I had trained myself never to get my hopes up. And, I could never tell Yoriichi about the tinge of jealousy I still felt towards Nezuko and Aoi, who would grow old with their husbands. I’d been training for fifteen years how to lose the love of my life. Who had to do that?

There was so much that Tanjiro didn’t know, either, such as the reason I closed my eyes when we made love was because I didn’t want to look at his mark in that deep of a moment. Ironically, I still got bothered by the fact that my scar still bothered him. It was hypocritical, but it was true, and I’d never tell him that, either. He would never know that I still imagined myself getting pregnant again, even though we’d given up years ago. He would never know I often wasn’t asleep when he thought I was. I was simply at peace feeling the warmth of his skin. I didn’t know how to describe it. He would never know how much I really loved him because it couldn’t be put into words or actions.

I looked over at Yoriichi putting the rice in the pot of water. He stopped crying, but was still sniffling. For all his precociousness, Yoriichi was a good kid. He was highly intelligent, he was kind to his friends and cousins, and Mr. and Mrs. Kuragi always said he was respectful at their house. But, most importantly, he had a big heart. Upon learning the truth about my childhood, there were no secrets left to hide from him - except for one. It wasn’t time for that yet, though. We still had a few more peaceful years left to go. Dinner was going to be late, but that was okay. I was happily bonding with my son, something I didn’t get to do very often. I taught him to cook, and he listened closely to everything I told him. When he wanted to, he listened well. I knew his options were endless. It was all in his hands.

Chapter Text

Sharp Edges

On my way home from the Butterfly Mansion, I kept turning Kiriya’s words over in my brain. I walked slowly, deep in thought.

“The antibodies are deteriorating, and at a constant rate,” Kiriya had explained. “But, it’s how slow the rate is that’s impressive. I’m not sure if it’s the antibodies alone. You may also just have an exceptionally healthy body, or a strong will to live.”

“What do you think that means?” I suggested hesitantly.

“I’m not sure, because you still have another potential five years left from our original prediction,” replied Kiriya. “We’ll just have to keep monitoring it. Things can suddenly change at any time. I can always contact Yushiro again if we ever need to do a second analysis. How is Nezuko doing these days?”

“She’s doing all right,” I said. “She has three kids and her youngest, the one and a half year old, is well… like Zenitsu.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s a handful.”

Kiriya laughed. “How is your son?”

“Yoriichi is doing great,” I smiled. “He’s very intelligent, and very precocious. He’s been begging to come with me on these trips for a long time.”

“He can come,” Kiriya smiled back. “Much of his father’s history is here.”

“He’s not coming until he’s old enough to understand the curse,” I said. “He’s ten. I can’t tell him that yet.”

Kiriya nodded slowly. “And, how is Kanao?”

“I worry about her more than Yoriichi sometimes,” I confessed. “I was deeply scared by her initial reaction the first time. But, she seems to be better than back then.”

“Tanjiro, remember we can’t love without letting ourselves be vulnerable,” Kiriya said. “And, vulnerability isn’t easy to feel sometimes.”

Later, I visited the graves of the Hashira, which now included Giyu and Shinazugawa. There was an offering on Giyu’s marker, suggesting that his wife, or rather, his widow, had been there recently. I was still bothered by the fact that she never sent any word of his death, and that I didn’t even know their son’s name. I was saddened to know that the curse manifested so horribly for both him and Shinazugawa. That was what Kanao was most afraid of.

I thought about everything Kiriya said until I got home. I was surprised to hear a lot of noise coming from the house. I heard Inosuke’s cackling. I smiled and threw the door open.

“I’m home!” I called out.

Yoriichi looked up immediately. “DAD!!!”

He ran up to me and hugged me so hard he thumped me. He was still very much a kid, but that wouldn’t last much longer.

A month later, the Hashibira family came to visit again, and the noise was too much for Yoriichi. Hiroshi, Kotoha, and Jigoro made a big scene at the table. After dinner, Yoriichi quietly slipped away outside. Kanao was preoccupied with helping Aoi and Nezuko with the babies, so I followed Yoriichi. I noticed he was going to the shed, which he still wasn’t allowed in. I caught up to him as he was struggling to open the door. He noticed me standing behind him and slowly turned, giving me a sheepish look. He put his hands behind his back.

“I know it’s loud in the house,” I said. “But, you’re still not allowed in the shed.”

“I wasn’t going to touch anything. I was just going to sit there.”

“That’s not the point,” I replied.

“Um, Dad, I like it when the Hashibira family comes over, I just don’t know what to do when all the babies start screaming,” Yoriichi said.

“That’s understandable, but that’s what babies do,” I said. “How about instead of going in the shed, why don’t we build a snowman?”

“Shouldn’t we wait for Saki and Isuzu?” Yoriichi asked nervously. “Because, if we don’t, then Isuzu will start screaming, too.”

I sighed with a small laugh. “Sure, we could do that.”

Yoriichi chewed on his fingernail. I knew he wasn’t off the topic yet.

“Dad, can I at least see your sword? Just in the box?”

“No, kiddo,” I said firmly. “Those swords are dangerous.”

“Okay, then at least tell me what it looks like.”

“It has a black blade inscribed with the kanji for ‘slay,’” I said. “The sword guard is in the shape of a red flame, which used to belong to the Flame Hashira. The blade actually belonged to Tsugikuni first. The sword that I had in the beginning also has a black blade.”

“But, Tsugikuni’s is the one with the flame on it?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I’ll show them to you when you’re older. I’m not doing it now because the swords are dangerous, not because I’m trying to keep secrets from you. You understand that, right?”

Yoriichi nodded. “Yeah, got it.”

At that moment, Saki and Isuzu barreled out the front door, also overwhelmed.

“Uncle Tanjiro, it’s really loud in there,” Saki said.

“Why don’t we all build a snowman?” I suggested with a smile.

Saki and Isuzu immediately perked up. Isuzu declared that she was in charge of finding the rocks for its face. Inosuke poked his head out for some fresh air, too, saw us having fun, and his eyes went wide. Within minutes, everyone was out building snowmen. Kotoha rolled around in the snow happily while Hiroshi sat on Aoi’s lap.

Kanao came over and helped us finish the snowman. Yoriichi looked up at her eagerly.

“Mom, what does your sword look like?”

“My sword? It’s pink,” she answered.

“I’m just curious what they all look like,” Yoriichi replied with a big smile. “I want to see them in my head. What does Uncle Zenitsu’s look like?”

“Okay, that’s enough for one day,” I said.

“Just curious,” repeated Yoriichi, still smiling.

The next week provided a rare day for us. The Agatsuma family took a trip to outside the village, leaving me, Kanao, and Yoriichi home alone. Yoriichi used the opportunity to finally ask for a playdate.

“Who are you inviting?” I asked. “Is it just Sei?”

“And, Kakeru and Goro.”

“I guess it’s okay.”

“YES!!!” Yoriichi cheered with excitement.

So, the Sunday Nezuko and Zenitsu left for their excursion, Yoriichi’s friends came to the house. We, of course, already knew Sei, the one with the straight jet black hair. He hadn’t grown much compared to Yoriichi, who was beginning to tower over him. Yoriichi introduced the boy with the shaggier, brownish hair as Kakeru and the boy with the short cropped hair as Goro.

“These are my parents!” Yoriichi proudly announced. “They were both demon slayers.”

Almost everyone in the village knew about my past, but I was still a little uncomfortable with how Yoriichi introduced us like that. Kanao didn’t seem to mind, though.

“What are you boys going to do?” she asked with a smile.

“We’re gonna play outside!” Yoriichi answered.

“Yeah, let’s make snowmen!” added Sei.

“Can we go hiking in the woods?” Kakeru asked.

“Not without a grown-up,” Kanao replied. “I’ll be happy to take you all on a walk later!”

The boys went outside and started playing in the snow. I went into the kitchen. I pretended to make food and carefully watched them through the window.

“Hey, Yoriichi,” Goro was saying. “I always thought you put stuff in your hair, but your hair is actually just like your dad’s.”

“Yeah, Dad says it’s because our family’s old job was burning charcoal,” Yoriichi replied.

I sighed in relief. It seemed innocent enough. I smelled that Kanao was standing behind me. I slowly turned my head. Her eyes were narrowed.

“You don’t think this is a little overprotective?” she chided.

“Well, he’s got friends over. I’m just trying to make sure that they all have fun.”

“But, you don’t need to have your eyes glued,” Kanao said. “I’m going to get some laundry done while they’re playing. You can go ahead and have a snack, but let Yoriichi have fun with his friends.”

Outside, the boys were still chatting as they made the most deformed snowman I had ever seen. They laughed and played lightly with each other. I was glad they weren’t throwing snow. I knew Kanao was right. I overheard Kakeru asking how old me and Kanao were. Yoriichi replied that we were twenty-nine.

“Whaaaaat?!?!” Kakeru exclaimed. “My parents are, like, forty!”

I was just glad that Yoriichi had made more friends. They played outside for a long time. Once I calmed down, I actually did decide to make a snack. I decided to fry up some tempura for myself. Everything was going well until I went to reach the panko in the cabinet above my head. Because I only had one hand, I knocked over the entire bag of flour. With a huge poof, it was all over my shirt and in my hair. I shouted a few words. Thankfully, Yoriichi couldn’t hear me from outside. I hastily cleaned it up, then ran to the bathroom mirror. I was literally covered in it.

“Kanao?” I called around the corner. “I want to take a quick bath!”

“Okay!” I heard her call out.

She was all the way in the storage room, because that’s where we had to move the bucket for laundry in the winter. I scrambled into the bathtub to wash my hair. I heard Kanao’s footsteps down the hall, so I knew that Yoriichi was covered. It took forever to get the flour out, and I had to wash my shirt in the tub while I was sitting in it. After my hair was clean, I wrung my shirt out in the sink. There was no way I was going to get it to dry in time, so I had to go to my room and find a new one. When I was finally dressed, I trudged back to the kitchen to put everything away. I wasn’t hungry anymore. Just then, Kanao came into the living room. She did a double take when she saw me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“You changed your shirt… and… you didn’t leave yet?”

“Leave?” I raised an eyebrow. “I just had to jump in the bath. I told you that.”

“That’s what you said? I thought you said you were going to walk out back. I figured you were taking Yoriichi and his friends.”

“No…” I said slowly. “So, no one was with Yoriichi?”

Kanao slowly brought her hand to her mouth. Then, we both realized how quiet it was. We poked our heads outside and saw that Yoriichi and the other boys were gone. Ice seeped into my veins, and I bolted outside. I sniffed the air for Yoriichi’s scent and looked at the ground. I saw footprints leading in all kinds of directions, but I could tell which ones were Yoriichi’s if I isolated the scent. Meanwhile, Kanao was calling his name. We didn’t have to search very hard, though, because suddenly an earsplitting scream rang out in the air. It was a scream of pain, and it was nearby. It was coming from the shed. And, now I smelled blood.

Kanao and I bolted to the shed and threw open the doors. Inside, Sei was doubled over on the ground, sobbing, his palm sliced open and bleeding badly. Kakeru and Goro were huddled in the corner, covering their eyes. And, in the middle of it all, Yoriichi stood holding Tsugikuni’s broken sword. His eyes were wide like saucers and he was staring at Sei, stunned.

“YORIICHI KAMADO!” I yelled, jolting him back to reality. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?!”

Kanao rushed to Sei’s side and helped him up, talking to him sweetly and trying to calm him down. I ushered the other two boys out of the shed and told them to follow Kanao back to the house. I slammed the door behind them and wheeled towards Yoriichi. He gulped.

“Drop the sword right now,” I demanded angrily.

Yoriichi didn’t hesitate. The sword fell out of his hand and hit the ground with a thud.

“I told you several times that you aren’t allowed in here,” I seethed. “I told you several times that the swords are dangerous! And, now look what you’ve done!”

“B-But, Dad!” Yoriichi stammered. “I just wanted to show them what they looked like! I didn’t swing them or do anything with them! Sei touched it by himself! I didn’t tell him to!”

“It doesn’t matter!” I admonished him. “Your friend is hurt! He might need stitches! And, you disobeyed me on purpose! We’ve been over this so many times that I’ve lost count, Yoriichi. If I tell you that you cannot know or do something, you have to understand it’s because there is a reason for it!”

Yoriichi quickly averted his gaze from me.

“Look at me right now, Yoriichi Kamado.”

He looked at me from the corner of his eyes. “I-I’m sorry, Dad.”

“How many times are you going to say, ‘I’m sorry,’ for the things that happen when you don’t listen to me?” I asked sternly. “You just shouldn’t do it, Yoriichi. You are ten years old now and should know this. What do you think the consequences of this are?”

“Um, Sei has to go to the doctor,” he answered in a small voice.

“And, what about your friends Kakeru and Goro?” I pressed him on. “Their parents don’t really know you, or me and Mom yet. What if they decide that Kakeru and Goro can’t play with you anymore? You put another kid in danger, so they might say you’re a bad kid. They might say me and Mom are bad parents because we didn’t know where you were when it happened. This is something I have been trying to teach you forever, Yoriichi. Every action that you do, whether it be good or bad, has a consequence. It doesn’t matter if it’s on purpose or by accident. Why did it have to take your friend getting hurt for you to realize this?”

He started crying and looked down at the ground again.

“I-I don’t know, Dad… I just wanted to tell them about you.”

“This is something we have to know, and something that cannot go on,” I declared. “Do you know what you’re going to do now?”

“Um, go back to the house and apologize to my friends?” Yoriichi answered meekly.

“Exactly. And, for the next week, you’re grounded, Yoriichi.”

He jumped back and stared up at me. “Wait… what does that mean?!?!”

“It means that other than school, you’re not allowed to do anything outside, you can’t see any friends, and no dessert.”

He shrunk back and seemed to shut down, staring at me in disbelief. I stared at him dead in the eye, unwavering, so he’d know I was serious. He didn’t try to protest. Instead, he just cried more. I still hated seeing him cry, even now, when I was completely furious.

“Are you crying because I’m punishing you or because you know what you did was not cool?” I asked him.

“Both,” he mumbled.

I sighed, half in anger, half in exhaustion. “Let’s go, Yoriichi.”

I walked back with him to the house. When we got there, Sei and the other boys were at the table. Kanao had made them all a snack. Sei’s hand was bandaged up, and Kanao was on the phone with Mrs. Kuragi. I made Yoriichi apologize to his friends, then he sat down at the table with them. He ate some of the snack, then the four of them started talking amongst themselves. Yoriichi asked if Sei was okay. I asked Kanao the same question when she got off the phone.

“He’s okay,” she whispered. “It wasn’t as deep as it looked. He won’t need stitches.”

“That’s good,” I whispered back. “By the way, Yoriichi’s grounded.”

Sei’s parents came to pick him up first, and they were upset. I made sure Yoriichi heard everything they said. Kakeru and Goro were picked up later. After Yoriichi’s friends left, Nezuko and Zenitsu came back with the kids. I told them upfront that Yoriichi was in trouble. Later that night, when Yoriichi was in bed, I came in to talk to him. He had his head underneath his pillow when I walked in. He moved it to see who it was, then rolled the other way when he saw it was me. I normally would’ve knelt down, but I stood over him instead.

“Yoriichi, you will still be friends with Sei, but, to be perfectly honest, his parents are not happy with what you did. Kakeru and Goro might tell their parents what happened today. I need you to understand why I put restrictions on some things, and that you need to follow them.”

“But, I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone,” Yoriichi whimpered with his back to me. “They all knew that.”

“Even though everyone knows that you weren’t trying to hurt anyone, it doesn’t change the fact that someone was.”

He rolled over and looked up at me.

“Dad, did something like this happen to you when you were demon slaying?”

“Everything I teach you, I teach from experience. And, many times, I had to learn these lessons by suffering the consequences head on.”

“Okay,” he whispered. “Are… you going to kiss me goodnight now?”

“I am still very angry at you, Yoriichi. I will just tell you goodnight.”

“But, you still love me, right?”

“I will always love you, even when I’m angry at you. But, tonight, I’m not in the mood to kiss you or hug you because I’m very angry. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good night, Yoriichi.”

“Good night, Dad.”

Back in my own room, Kanao helped me out of my shirt and ran her hands over me. It was very relaxing, and I exhaled deeply.

“Your muscles are so tense,” she said.

“I don’t understand why he still doesn’t listen to me about these things,” I groaned. “I’ve told him so many times that it’s not about lack of trust.”

“To be honest, Tanjiro,” Kanao said as she massaged my shoulders from behind. “I don’t think that’s what it is to him anymore. Maybe that’s what it used to be, like with the watermelon seeds and the story of the demons. But, now, I think he all he wants is to be like you. He wants anything that brings him closer to you.”

“You’re saying I’m not close to him?”

“For him, it’s never enough,” she said as she came back around my front. “Yoriichi is not trying to cross you, Tanjiro. He adores you. And, today was more about showing off his amazing father to his friends rather than showing off the sword itself.”

“Not obeying the rules I set for him doesn’t get on my adoring side,” I sighed. “We have some things to work on, and I want them hammered out before he gets into the really difficult years.”

Kanao clasped her hands behind my neck and I pulled her in close.

“I understand you’re frustrated, and I am, too,” she said. “But, he also needs you.”

I thought about all the times I needed my father and he wasn’t there. I knew Kanao was right. I wanted to be there for Yoriichi, but my patience for his endless questions and disregard for listening to me was wearing thin. I knew the challenges were only going to get more difficult in the near future.

Yoriichi handled being grounded surprisingly well, but he was still very upset about it. His loss of privileges included taking away his favorite toys, mainly the ones that he played with outside. Nezuko passed along to Saki and Isuzu that Yoriichi was grounded, which meant that he couldn’t play with his cousins, either. He was left to his own devices in his room after school. Kanao checked on him and told me that he either napped or read books. He didn’t talk much at dinner. He suddenly preferred Kanao, but clearly pined for me. I had to show him I was serious, though. I was going to be distant until his grounding was up.

I phoned Mr. and Mrs. Kuragi while at work near the end of the week. They told me that Sei’s hand was healing fine. They added that Sei wasn’t mad at Yoriichi, but they thought that the two of them probably needed a temporary break. Kakeru’s parents said that all Kakeru told them was that another boy cut his hand. Goro’s parents told me something very similar. Both sets of parents mentioned that they thought their kids were embellishing when they told them that it was a sword.

“No, we really have one. It’s like an heirloom,” I told them, face in my hand.

I was fully aware that I was glossing over details with the other parents in order to protect Yoriichi from losing friends, which maybe I shouldn’t have done. I looked out my office window and was taken aback to see the sky so dark all of a sudden. Was it really that late? I checked the clock. Suddenly, there was a knock on my door.

“Come in,” I called.

It was Mr. Takeda. He was dressed up like he was getting ready to clock out.

“Hey, Kamado,” he said. “There’s a huge snowstorm on the way. We’re letting everyone go home early.”

That explained it. If it was that dark already, the storm had to be severe.

“Oh, okay. Thank you,” I replied. “Do you happen to know about the schools?”

“School got canceled this morning. My wife called to tell me earlier.”

So, Yoriichi was already home safe. That was a relief. I packed my things, closed up my office, and started to hurry home. The sky seemed to get darker and darker as I made my way up the mountain. I could only think about my family. I had unpleasant memories of snowstorms. In my head, they’d forever be associated with losing people.

When I got home, Zenitsu was making hot pot for dinner. He looked up when I walked through the door, then turned sharply around.

“Kanao! He made it back alive!”

I narrowed my eyes at him as I shut the door behind me.

“Do you really have to say it like that?”

Kanao came around the corner and hugged me.

“That incoming storm looks bad,” she said. “I’m glad you made it home before it hit.”

“I was worried about that, too,” I replied. “Where’s Yoriichi?”

“He’s in his room,” Kanao answered.

“Well, that’s good.”

I wanted to check on him, but I reconsidered. I didn’t want him to think his punishment was over. We were all really quiet at the dinner table that night. Then, Isuzu suddenly scrunched up her face.

“Daddy, I hear something whistling,” she said.

“That’s the wind,” Zenitsu explained.

“Why is it so loud?”

“There’s going to be a snowstorm. But, don’t worry. We’re safe here.”

I looked to my left and saw Yoriichi poking his food with his chopsticks. He slouched and had his face in his hands. He looked anxious.

“Yoriichi, you’re not going to eat?” I asked him.

He shoveled several bites into his mouth and swallowed. Just then, something hit the roof of the house with a loud bang and all the lights went out. Jigoro started wailing. Poor Nezuko tried to quiet him, unsuccessfully. Amidst the crying, Saki and Isuzu clamored around Zenitsu.

“Daddy, what do we do now?” Saki asked.

It was pitch dark, but I knew Zenitsu was tearing his hair out.

“We’re just gonna go to sleep!” he groaned. “Everyone will feel better in the morning!”

I couldn’t wait to go to sleep myself. Outside, the trees groaned in the wind. Yoriichi probably wouldn’t have school the next day. I probably wouldn’t have to work the next day, either. I laid in bed, wrapped in Kanao’s arms. The wind picked up and howled louder, but it didn’t bother me that much. At this point in my life, after all I had been through, I could sleep through anything. I was nearly in dreamland when suddenly, our door opened, the sound of feet pounded in, and Yoriichi’s scent was in my face.

“Dad…” His voice was shaky.

“You have to go back to your room, Yoriichi,” I yawned.

“But, Dad, the wind sounds like a person.”

“What…?”

“Yeah, it sounds like a ghost going, ‘WOOOoooOOOooo…’”

I paid closer attention to the wind outside. It actually did sound like a human moan.

“Well, you know that it’s just the wind, not a ghost, so go back to your room.”

“No!” Yoriichi whispered frantically. “I’m really freaked out. Can I please sleep in here?”

“You are ten years old,” I said with frustration. “You know you’re too old to be sleeping with me and Mom now.”

“How about not in the bed? How about I just sleep by your feet?”

I lifted my head, so I wouldn’t wake up Kanao.

“Yoriichi, you are acting like you’re five and you’re also still in trouble. You know this is unacceptable, and I’m not going to say it again. Please, go back to your room now.”

Yoriichi clutched the covers of my bed in his hands.

“Just this one last time, just this one last time,” he cried. “I don’t feel safe.”

“You’re in your own house, and you have your family here. You are perfectly safe.”

“But, I don’t feel it…” he whimpered.

I was ready to get angry at him again, but then I stopped to think about it. I thought about how Kanao reframed what the sword incident was really all about. It wasn’t about the sword, it was about me. Yoriichi’s scent of fear was genuine. Maybe he wasn’t trying to act like a little kid now. Maybe it was about needing guidance. He was in front of me now, vulnerable, just asking for my love. For the entire week, I’d been trying to instill a lesson in him. Maybe he had learned it, and now he just wanted my forgiveness.

I breathed in deeply through my nose, measuring his scent. I opened my mouth to speak, but it was Kanao who spoke first.

“Tanjiro, lie down with your son,” she mumbled, nearly asleep herself. “Just until he falls asleep, and then you can come back.”

“Okay,” I breathed. “But, did you hear that, Yoriichi? I’m not staying with you the entire night, got it?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” he replied.

I got out of bed and fumbled around in the dark with him back to his room. He held on to my hand tightly. Once we were in his room, he darted back underneath his covers. I laid on top of the covers.

“Dad, please get in the bed?” Yoriichi requested.

“What did we just agree on?” I reminded him.

“Please…”

I sighed, got up, and then got under the covers with him. The wind was even louder in his room. No wonder he was scared.

“Dad, how come you don’t wear a shirt when you sleep?” Yoriichi asked.

“Well, because my left arm has such limited movement, sleeping without a shirt gives it a little more freedom at night,” I explained.

“Oh, okay…” Yoriichi mused. “You don’t ever get cold?”

“Nope, Mom keeps me warm.”

It was dark, but I knew he was smiling. Then, he wriggled up against my side and threw his arms around me, almost the exact same way Kanao did. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn’t help but crack a smile, too.

"You're really warm, too, Dad," he sighed with contentment. "Hugging you is nice."

“And, if I’m ever not here, you can use your pillow,” I said. “You can pretend it’s me and hold it just like you’re holding me now. Soon, I won’t be able to do this anymore, Yoriichi. But, just this once, it’s okay. And, I agree. That wind is really scary. It really does sound like a ghost.”

Yoriichi’s scent became hesitant for a second, and then he tightened his grip on me.

“So, Dad? Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore?”

I thought very carefully. “That incident with the sword was very serious, Yoriichi. You’re still going to face the consequences of it for a while. Sei’s parents told me that they think you and Sei should spend some time apart. That does not mean Sei doesn’t like you anymore, because he does still like you. Mr. and Mrs. Kuragi also still like you, but they were very upset. As a parent, I have to take into consideration what that means for you.”

“But…” mumbled Yoriichi. “What does that mean?”

I turned my head to face him. “It means it’s time to grow up, Yoriichi. You don’t have to become a full man yet, you’re only ten. But, there are some things we need to take care of now. To answer your question, yes, I am still upset about the sword. Am I as furious as I was when it happened? No, but that doesn’t erase anything. Instead of dwelling on it, however, let’s use it as a learning experience.”

“Will I be able to play with Sei again?” Yoriichi asked.

“Yes, when his parents and I have talked about it. And, at least as far as I know, Kakeru and Goro’s parents don’t have any issues with you playing with either of them. But, we can’t let anything like that happen again, okay?”

“Okay.”

“So, tell me what you learned.”

“When you say something is dangerous, it’s because it’s dangerous.”

“Good. That’s a good start.”

“Can I just ask one thing, Dad?”

“Sure.”

“Even when I grow up, can you still call me ‘kiddo?’”

I smiled for real. “Didn’t you once tell me that you wouldn’t always be a kiddo?”

“Yeah, but,” Yoriichi said shyly. “You didn’t call me that all week, probably because you were mad, and I realized how much I actually like it.”

I chuckled. “Okay, kiddo. Now, it’s time to go to sleep.”

He was out much more quickly than I thought he would be, but he never let go of me. So, I ended up staying in bed with him for much longer after he fell asleep, because I had to carefully peel myself out of his arms without waking him up. Before I went back to my room, I knelt by his bed for a moment. I could barely see him in the pitch black house, but I could smell him. He wasn’t giving off a scent of fear anymore, and there was the faint scent of something new. He’d had a rough week, and he had learned a tough lesson. Kanao was right yet again. He only could’ve learned that from me. I leaned forward and gave him a kiss on his cheek. He was getting too old for it, but I wanted to do it one last time. It was to show him that I forgave him. He’d know I did it in the morning.

Chapter Text

We Will Face Difficult Years

Yoriichi and Sei reconciled six months later. Tanjiro told Yoriichi that it was time to grow up, and he did. Tanjiro worked through all of his difficulties, especially when he reached the age of twelve. There was still plenty of fighting between them, mostly over school. Yoriichi was still acing every subject, but showed no interest in any of them. He became very irritable when it was time to go to school at every morning, claiming he didn’t need to go at all. This angered Tanjiro greatly. One time, he called Yoriichi’s friends’ parents to confirm with their children that Yoriichi went to school. When Yoriichi found out about it, it led to an absolutely hideous argument. But, it was obvious that school bored Yoriichi. It had bored him for a while. I knew he was meant for other things. He had struck up a friendship with Mr. Banno, the glass blower again, and decided that was what he wanted to do. He was determined that glass blowing was his calling, and he was only twelve. Tanjiro told Yoriichi that he was supportive of whatever he wanted to do, but he still had to finish school. Yoriichi left that conversation in a huff and with a slammed door. But, even with the yelling and attitude, they always came away stronger than before. Deep down, Yoriichi wanted to learn. Specifically, he had to learn from his father. But, why he continued to learn the hard way most of the time was a mystery.

The winter blew through and Yoriichi turned thirteen. He was growing in experience, but he was also growing in height. He was much taller than all of his friends. He was nearing Tanjiro’s height already, and it was inevitable that he would surpass him. Yoriichi cheekily compared his height to Tanjiro’s all the time, measuring the tops of their heads with his hand if they were standing next to each other. If Tanjiro noticed and asked what he was doing, Yoriichi would simply flash him a smile.

“You promised, Dad. You’re gonna take me to the Butterfly Mansion when I’m taller than you.”

And, Tanjiro would always smile back and answer, “Yes, I did.”

Tanjiro was supposed to visit the Butterfly Mansion in March, following the new year. It was delayed because of a business visit from Ken Yamashita, however. I finally met him after so many years. Yoriichi was supposed to join us, but he went out with his friends that night instead. Tanjiro and Ken were very close now. Ken told me all about his three children. We mentioned we were finally in the teenage drama with Yoriichi.

“At least, you don’t have a teenage daughter,” Ken laughed.

Instead, Tanjiro took the trip in the beginning of August. The day after he came back, we went to the Hashibira household for dinner. As we walked down the mountain, he seemed to be lost in thought. That wasn’t unusual for him, but the faraway, lost look in his eyes was. Yoriichi was walking on ahead of us, so I took my opportunity while he was out of earshot.

“Tanjiro,” I said quietly. “Are you all right? Did… something happen while you were at the Butterfly Mansion?”

“Kiriya and I had a conversation,” Tanjiro answered simply. “I’m just thinking about it. I can’t talk about it right now.”

He had turned thirty-three a few weeks prior. The medicine would only hold out for two more years. His face was still youthful. He still kept up his training, and his body was still fit and healthy. His appearance, such as his hair, never changed at all. Sometimes I thought he was still in his twenties. But, I couldn’t be blindsided by the inevitable the second time around.

“Mom, Dad,” Yoriichi called out. “Why are you so slow?”

“Because we’re half blind,” Tanjiro replied jokingly.

Yoriichi stopped short and whirled around with eyebrows arched.

“What do you mean, you’re ‘half blind?’”

“I’m blind in my right eye,” answered Tanjiro. “That’s why it’s a different color.”

“I’m also blind in my right eye,” I added. “I only have sixty percent of vision left in the other one.”

“Huh?!?!” Yoriichi exclaimed. “Since when?!?!”

“Since the final battle,” Tanjiro chuckled. “It wasn’t a secret, kiddo, you just never asked or noticed.”

Yoriichi kicked the ground with an annoyed grunt and kept walking. I looked at Tanjiro, who only shrugged.

The Agatsuma family was already there and we were meeting them. Yoriichi wasn’t the only one growing up. Saki was ten now, Isuzu was eight, and Jigoro would turn five in a month. Nezuko was a full-time mom again. There was no way she could go back to the clinic with three kids. Zenitsu’s poems and songs were still selling widely, but his memoir, his pride and joy, was struggling. When we got to the house, the first thing we heard was Zenitsu ranting about exactly that to Aoi and Inosuke. Jigoro was playing with Hiroshi and Kotoha in the corner while Saki munched on a plate of snacks. Nezuko and Isuzu were absent for the time being. Zenitsu was animated and waving his arms around. It was clear from Inosuke’s half-vacant eyes and Aoi’s chin propped in her hand that he had been yammering for a while.

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell my publisher that it’s not a fantasy novel!!!” he fumed. “But, he refuses to market it as a memoir!!! That’s why it isn’t selling! It’s been a year since it was finally published, and it’s full of my blood, sweat, and tears! It took ten edits! Some sections were completely rewritten! The demons were real not too long ago, and I’m sure tons of living people remember them, so I don’t know why he keeps telling me that it’s not believable as a memoir! This is for Saki’s children, Isuzu’s children, Jigoro’s children, and all the children that come after them! I need my descendants to know the story!”

“Yes, you’ve made that clear,” Aoi cut him off swiftly. “Anyway, should I put out more appetizers?”

“Huh?” Zenitsu said. “Oh, sure. Saki, I think you’ve had enough. Save some for others.”

“Okay,” replied Saki, and retracted her hand.

“Well, at least you don’t have to worry about that one,” Inosuke blurted out.

“Ino…SUKE!” Aoi barked. “Do you really have to put it like that?”

“Did we miss something?” I giggled nervously as Tanjiro, Yoriichi, and I sat down.

“Isuzu’s in a mood, so she and Nezuko are talking about it,” Zenitsu sighed. “You missed me telling Inosuke and Aoi what happened with Jigoro at school.”

“What happened?” Tanjiro asked hesitantly.

“Jigoro thinks it’s funny to go around hugging all the girls in his class and then wonders why they keep punching him,” Zenitsu explained. “Nezuko asked him why, and he said, ‘I love them all, Mommy.’”

“Wow, he’s a clone of you in more ways than one,” Tanjiro laughed.

Zenitsu straightened up like he was taken aback.

“What are you talking about?!?! Yeah, I chased girls, but not until I reached adolescence. That is normal and natural, but he’s only four!”

Just then, Jigoro walked up to Zenitsu, hand in hand with Kotoha. Hiroshi followed close behind. When Zenitsu noticed they were holding hands, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Aoi did the same.

“Daddy,” Jigoro said. “I’m going to marry Kotoha. Hiroshi said it was okay.”

“You are absolutely not marrying each other!” Zenitsu and Aoi shouted in unison.

“Please, Mommy?” insisted Kotoha.

“Yeah, Mommy, I said it was okay,” Hiroshi added.

“Dad and I are the ones who decide if it’s okay!” Aoi said. “No marriage games, Kotoha, those are for grown-ups.”

“I don’t see what’s wrong with them playing,” Inosuke shrugged.

At dinner, Aoi asked Yoriichi about the upcoming school year. It was clear that was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but he answered her politely. Later, while we were cleaning up, I heard him quietly voice his annoyance to Tanjiro.

“Mrs. Hashibira is just trying to connect to you through a subject she knows how to ask you about,” Tanjiro explained. “She asked that question to Saki and Isuzu, too. It’s because you are a student and school is part of your everyday life.”

“Yeah, but, that’s all anyone asks me, even Uncle Zenitsu and Auntie Nezuko,” Yoriichi huffed. “There’s nothing to tell about school. It’s the same every day. But, there’s lots of stuff to tell about me.”

“I can’t talk about this tonight, kiddo,” said Tanjiro. “But, we’ll talk about it when there is an appropriate opportunity.”

I remembered that he had his trip to the Butterfly Mansion on his mind. I knew it was the reason he was quiet on the way home. Once inside the house, Yoriichi announced he was getting in the bath. Once Nezuko, Zenitsu, and the kids were back in their rooms, I walked up to Tanjiro and folded my arms over my chest.

“Hey, there, what is it?” he asked.

“Are you going to tell me about your recent trip?”

“It’s best if we talk about this in our room.”

“I’m not in the mood for loving tonight,” I said firmly. “What did you talk about with Kiriya? Does it have something to do with… the next two years?”

Tanjiro gave me a knowing look, then ran his hand through his hair.

“Yes, it’s about the antibodies in the medicine.”

He got quiet. I kept staring at him, telling him with my eyes that he needed to say more.

“I’ve told you before that the antibodies are deteriorating at a constant rate,” he said in a hushed voice. “But, they’re deteriorating at a much slower rate than Yushiro’s original data said they would. Kiriya and I did the test again and reevaluated it based on a second analysis Yushiro conducted.”

“At a slower rate?” I breathed. “How come you never told me this before?”

“Because, it was still not concrete evidence,” Tanjiro sighed. “Until now, that is. With the two year mark approaching, Kiriya was able to determine a more accurate reading.”

“So… what does that mean?” I pressed on. “Don’t tell me… you have even longer…”

His silence spoke louder than anything he could’ve said. If the answer had been ‘no,’ he would have said it up front.

“How many years, Tanjiro?” I quietly demanded.

Tanjiro stood very still, then slowly held up his fist. Then, he spread out all five of his fingers. My hands flew to my mouth and I gasped. But, before I could say anything else, Tanjiro stepped closer to me and put his hand on my face.

“It’s not that simple, Kanao,” he whispered. “In two years, the antibodies will still reach their maximum protection. Kiriya described it like this… Once the original limit of ten years is reached, the antibodies will start to weaken at a faster rate. There will still be enough to sustain me for five years, but the curse will start to manifest. He called it a tug of war. The unexplained illnesses that happened to Giyu and Shinazugawa will start to happen to me, and, because the antibodies were holding the curse back for so long, the illnesses will start sooner.”

My heart sank. My hands fell away from my mouth. I looked into his eyes. They were not hopeful, they were sad. The last time I had seen his eyes with this sadness was when we thought it was happening the first time. I remembered the pain and emotion of that day very clearly, but this was much worse. A tear ran down my cheek.

He had five additional years to live, but they were going to be spent slowly dying.

“My love,” he said softly, shedding a tear himself. “I’m so sorry.”

I stifled my crying in his shirt. I should have listened to him. This would have been much easier to deal with in our room. He gently cradled me against him and moved his hand over my back. I tried to control myself as much as possible. We were standing too close to the bathroom, and I didn’t want Yoriichi to hear me. Suddenly, a fresh wave of dread hit me.

“Tanjiro,” I sniffled. “This means you have to tell Yoriichi now. If you’re going to be that sick, he needs to know why. He needs to know long before it happens.”

I felt him tense. He said nothing, but I knew what he was thinking. It was always his plan to tell Yoriichi about the curse himself. However, I always knew that telling his son that truth would be the hardest thing he would ever do.

“He’s only thirteen,” Tanjiro said. “He’s not ready yet. I have two more years before this happens, and he’ll be fifteen. Let’s wait until then.”

“But, if we wait until then, all he’ll see afterwards is you dying,” I explained. “He should be able to see you alive for a while.”

“I, uh, I don’t know,” Tanjiro muttered. “Just not now. I’m not going to break his heart at thirteen. I was thirteen when I lost my family.”

“He’ll be fourteen in four months,” I pointed out.

“This is for me to decide,” he said. “He hasn’t proven that he’s mature enough yet. When he does, that’s when I’ll tell him.”

Yoriichi had grown remarkably, but he was knee-deep in the difficult years now. I hoped he would give Tanjiro that proof sooner than later.

It was getting late. I couldn’t hear any sounds from Saki and Isuzu’s room, so they must have been asleep already. Jigoro still slept with Nezuko and Zenitsu. I made some tea for me and Tanjiro. I thought it would soothe us, but it didn’t help as much as I thought it would. We sat on the couch together with our heads resting on each other. Our somber silence was interrupted by the bathroom door opening. Yoriichi came out wearing only his pants, with his hair down and a towel draped around his shoulders. He carried his shirt in his hand. He was tall, but his body was still that of a child.

“Hey, kiddo,” Tanjiro said.

“Why are you guys still out here?” Yoriichi raised an eyebrow.

“We had some things to talk about,” I answered.

“Boring mom and dad things,” added Tanjiro, forcing a smile.

“Can I sit with you?” asked Yoriichi.

“If you put on a night robe first,” replied Tanjiro.

“Is something wrong, sweetheart?” I pressed on.

“Dad said he’d finish the conversation we were having at the Hashibira house,” Yoriichi said. “The one about school.”

“I believe the phrase I used was, ‘when there is an appropriate opportunity,’ which is not right now,” Tanjiro clarified.

Yoriichi grunted with disappointment. He scratched at his hair with his free hand. When his hair was wet, it went far down past his shoulders.

“Okay, fine,” he huffed. “But, can I still sit with you? I want some of that tea.”

“Of course, kiddo,” Tanjiro replied. “If you put on a night robe.”

Yoriichi went to his room and I turned to Tanjiro.

“You two seem to be communicating well right now,” I whispered.

“We had another chat before I left for the Butterfly Mansion,” Tanjiro explained. “It was about growing up, but in the physical way.”

“I see. That shows that he has a deep trust of you, with questions like that.”

“He’s insecure, just like any other teenager,” Tanjiro continued. “He barely knows how to handle the changes in himself right now. I can’t tell him about the curse on top of his adolescence. That feels almost cruel.”

“All right.”

Yoriichi came back in his robe, his hair still down and damp. He plopped himself on the couch right next to Tanjiro.

“Is the tea still warm?” he asked.

“It sure is,” I smiled and poured him a cup.

“What else is going on, kiddo?” Tanjiro asked.

“Nothing,” Yoriichi said and took a sip. “I just don’t wanna go to bed.”

His voice wasn’t cracking yet. Just like Tanjiro, I wanted to be there for his adolescence. But, I knew that Yoriichi would never come to me with those questions. He stayed up with us for about an hour, and then Tanjiro told him to go to bed. I made a point of hugging and kissing him goodnight. Even at thirteen, he didn’t squirm away from it at all. Tanjiro and I went to bed. There would not be any intimacy, although I wondered if intimacy would ever feel the same again. We still had two solid years left. Two years was a long time, but not a long time. Despite not making love, I clung to Tanjiro very tightly that night. He stroked my hair until he fell asleep. I was still awake for a while, however. I had to remember how lucky I was that I was even able to have him for this long. I was going to have him for even longer now… but, would he still be Tanjiro? I had forgotten about the unexplained illnesses. I prayed to his family that they wouldn’t let his death be violent. If he could go out gracefully, it would be a lot easier for Yoriichi.

A few months later, in November, Yoriichi wouldn’t get up for school. Tanjiro had left for work already. Yoriichi hid under his covers and I crouched down next to his bed. It was obvious he wasn’t sick. He just didn’t want to go to school.

“Yoriichi, are you just trying to avoid something?” I asked him firmly.

“No, I did all my homework and nothing happened. I just don’t want to go. It’s Friday, it won’t affect anything. I didn’t sleep well and I’m tired.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well. But, you’re still going to school.”

“Please, Mom?” Yoriichi begged, poking his head out. “I know all the material, and I can skip just one day. Dad doesn’t have to know.”

“You know he can smell when you lie.”

“Just this one time, Mom. Just this one time.”

I thought carefully for a minute. At this point, he was already pretty late. I should have forced him to go and accept the penalty. However, his eyes had a glint in them like he was afraid of something. Rather, it was more like he was overwhelmed. His body language didn’t seem to be dishonest when he said he wasn’t trying to avoid anything. Maybe his mind was tired. Now, I was becoming the enabler. I knew Tanjiro wouldn’t be happy about it, but I told Yoriichi yes. He sighed with relief, and I went to the phone and called the school. When I came back to check on Yoriichi, he was already back to sleep.

Now that all the kids were in school, Zenitsu returned to writing at his office downtown. Jigoro was five now but had the tendency to throw big tantrums at school, resulting in one of his parents needing to pick him up in the middle of the day. He was still in the same class as Hiroshi. The twins were his best friends. Nezuko was certain his “crush” on Kotoha was just a phase, but it greatly annoyed Zenitsu. Nezuko was always anxious at home, anticipating phone calls from the school, so I was teaching her how to sew again to take her mind off of it. So, that morning, it was just me, Nezuko, and Yoriichi. Yoriichi slept until almost lunch. Maybe he truly wasn’t well. Maybe he was just changing.

Nezuko and I were chatting about things in the village when Yoriichi finally came out of his room. He had actually gotten dressed and put his hair up. He seemed much more alert now. He went in the kitchen and started looking through the fridge.

“I was just about to make lunch, sweetheart,” I called out to him. “Hang in there just a few minutes.”

“I’m still gonna make some takoyaki,” Yoriichi said. “I’m hungry.”

Yoriichi actually did like cooking. He generally just liked to make things. He often asked to visit Mr. Banno. Tanjiro understood his fascination with the glass blowing, at least. I looked at Yoriichi in the kitchen and was amazed by him. He was growing and his appetite increased more and more by the day. I was going to have to make a bigger lunch.

At this point, Tanjiro had told everyone the latest news about the curse. Aoi and Inosuke were visiting and all the kids were outside when he told us. Nezuko cried when Tanjiro outlined how the sickness would start to develop. Aoi offered ways that she could alleviate any symptoms he might have, even if they weren’t naturally caused. Tanjiro was skeptical if the illnesses caused by the curse could even be treated at all, but it was slightly comforting to think it would work. A tension hung over the family now. I worried that Yoriichi would figure something out by himself. I knew that would be worse than Tanjiro telling him. But, watching Yoriichi hastily cook some takoyaki, oblivious to anything else, I concluded that he was okay for now.

Nezuko let out a small cry as she pricked her finger. Then, the phone rang and her eyes went wide in a panic.

“Oh, please don’t let that be Jigoro’s school,” she groaned.

I answered the phone for her.

“Hello, this is the Kamado and Agatsuma household. Oh, hi, Inosuke.”

Nezuko sighed with relief. Inosuke wanted to know if he could come to the house to chop wood for carpentry. As I listened to Inosuke chatter, I kept watching Yoriichi. He ate his snack quickly and voraciously. Soon, he was done with it, finished it off with a big glass of water, then trudged back to his room. When I was done talking to Inosuke, I followed him and knocked on his door gently.

“Mom?” he asked from inside.

“May I open the door?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I slid it open. He was sitting upright on his bed with his head in his hands, staring down.

“Yoriichi, I know you’re more comfortable talking to Dad about things that bother you, but, if Dad is not here, you can talk to me about them, too,” I said gently. “Your father and I did not have the luxury of being able to talk to our parents or another adult when we were your age. We both had to grow up while saving the world at the same time. So, we both want to understand anything that you might be experiencing.”

“Thanks, Mom, but I’m really just tired all the time,” he sighed, not looking up at me. “I have thoughts that won’t go away. They kept me up last night.”

“Okay,” I said. “When you’re ready to talk about those thoughts, know that I am here for you just as much as Dad.”

I knew that he’d never come to me, but at least the offer was out in the open. In this particular case, it was never too early to start preparing. Later, when Tanjiro came home and learned that Yoriichi didn’t go to school, he was suspicious. I explained that he didn’t feel well. Yoriichi barely said anything at dinner that evening. Still, Tanjiro came to him right before he went to bed. He thought I was out of earshot, but I wasn’t.

“Hey, kiddo,” he said. “Is it the thoughts again?”

“Yeah,” Yoriichi mumbled.

“It’s not that cold outside. Why don’t we sit out by the garden?” Tanjiro suggested.

The two of them walked out to the back steps together. They had something too deep, too intricate, something that would only come undone if it was forcibly ripped apart. I didn’t want to keep secrets, but I agreed that Yoriichi probably needed to be older. We would face difficult years very soon. But, we would face them together.

Chapter Text

Green Spring

When I was fourteen, I was on Mount Sagiri training with Master Urokodaki, learning to swing a sword. I physically trained until my hands bled and my body felt like it was going to fall apart. That was no life for a fourteen-year-old, but I did what I had to do to save my sister. When Yoriichi told me about the experiences and thoughts he was having, I thought about how I lost so much freedom to feel during those years. In the end, my career as a demon slayer was only three and half years, but they felt much longer than that. I forgot how young I was in that time. I was happy that my son was able to have these years in a safe environment, as much as they drove him crazy, and angsty, and embarrassed him. He needed to talk several times a week. Sometimes we had awkward conversations, he’d snap at me, get frustrated, and storm inside. He came back out five minutes later every time. Occasionally, he tested my patience, but I always stayed with him. It was March now. It was still chilly outside, but the mountain flowers were starting to bud. We were on the front steps.

“Goro has a girlfriend,” he finally spit out after beating around the bush for ten minutes.

“Is there a girl you like, too?” I asked.

“No, and I don’t want to like a girl,” he huffed. “I think it’s kind of stupid that he has one, actually.”

“Okay, why’s that?”

“I don’t really know, it just pisses me off.”

“Well, life moves at different paces for different people,” I went on. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Your mother and I got married at eighteen, but Sei’s parents were almost thirty. That’s just how it happens sometimes.”

“I just told you, Dad,” Yoriichi grumbled. “I don’t want to like any girls. The girls in my class are kind of annoying. Goro’s girlfriend is annoying and he doesn’t realize it. That’s why it pisses me off.”

“Lots of women we met on our journey thought Uncle Zenitsu was annoying,” I laughed. “But, not Auntie Nezuko. It all depends on the person.”

Yoriichi blew a strand of his bangs out of his face.

“Well, I don’t like being around Goro right now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, kiddo.”

“Thanks, Dad…”

His voice was cracking more noticeably now. His body was starting to fill out, too, but he was still lanky and narrow. He had stopped shooting up in height, but he was still inching. He’d probably be done growing around nineteen, but that was still five years of inching. At fourteen, I already had a lot of muscle. That was also not normal. He had asked me before how he could get as “ripped” as me. He never said it explicitly, but I could tell from when he asked such questions that he was insecure about his body. I also suspected that he didn’t always like being tall.

“What time is it?” Yoriichi changed the subject.

I looked up the sun. “Around three-thirty.”

“Show off,” he chuckled. “You can actually read the sun like that?”

“You learn many things when you’re always on a mission,” I answered. “The sun can tell you lots of things other than just the time of day. The sun can tell a story, or guide you home.”

“You didn’t have to get so deep, Dad. Now you’re really showing off.”

“Do you think you’re in danger of fighting with Goro?” I pressed him on again.

“Not really,” he sighed. “I… I don’t know.”

“What makes his girlfriend annoying?”

“She’s just really flirty. Like, she fawns all over him and I think he only likes her because she’s pretty,” Yoriichi said. “She’s also not nice to the other girls.”

“Well, if you feel like you might start fighting, please come back to me before you do,” I said. “It’s easier to prevent a fight than deal with what happens after.”

“Yep.”

“Anything else you wanted to talk about today?”

“Not really. It’s just… school is so boring… I’m good at everything. I don’t even have to think about it. Sometimes I get so bored that I just start imagining other things. Then the teacher calls on me because I’m not paying attention and starts bombarding me with questions, and I still answer them all right. Do I even need to be in school, Dad? I don’t want to do a school subject job. I love making things. I love watching the glass blowing at Mr. Banno’s. That’s what I want to do.”

“Well, maybe Mr. Banno can take you as his apprentice,” I said.

Yoriichi looked up at me with surprise. “Wait, you actually mean that…?”

“You can be whoever you want, Yoriichi. But, you still have to finish school.”

He slouched forward and hugged his knees. He looked down at the ground again.

“Fine, only because I can see my friends there. But, if I get into glass blowing, I’ll still be working with fire, just like Kamado family tradition, right, Dad?”

I smiled. “Yes. I’m glad you still like the family tradition.”

“Yeah,” Yoriichi mused.

A warm breeze blew through, gently rattling my earrings. I reached up and touched them, fingering with the backs. My father passed them down to me when I was twelve. I had never taken them off in twenty-one years. But, I looked over at Yoriichi. I didn’t say anything about it, but I was lost in thought imagining how good they would look on him.

“Hey, Dad, there was one more thing,” Yoriichi said. “It’s not about school or friends.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“I was wondering about something in the story of the demons,” he went on. “You always say that you became a swordsman to get revenge on Kibutsuji, and that Auntie Nezuko was with you on the journey. But… Auntie Nezuko wasn’t a demon slayer. So, what did she do? How did she fight alongside you?”

I sighed deeply. “Without Auntie Nezuko, the entire journey wouldn’t have been possible. She may not have fought with a sword, but she risked her life just as much of the rest of us.”

“But, I mean, if she didn’t use a sword, then what did she use?”

I sighed and planned my words carefully. “If you ask Auntie Nezuko about the journey, she won’t tell you much. Saki knows some of the story, but Isuzu isn’t allowed to know because she’ll repeat it at school. Jigoro is too young, of course. So, don’t try and get more information from your aunt. That’s all I’m telling you, because she wants to keep it private.”

“Okay,” he replied.

I knew he’d stop there. The incident with the sword when he was ten actually shifted him to the core. What changed him most was the six months Mr. and Mrs. Kuragi wouldn’t let him and Sei play together. Since then, their friendship had been repaired and Kanao and I were back to having dinner with them frequently again. It only brought Yoriichi and Sei closer together in the end, but the aftermath of it all deeply affected Yoriichi. Seeing him grow up since then had been incredible to watch.

“Let’s go inside,” I said. “Did you get everything out? No more angst?”

“For now,” Yoriichi said. “But, Dad, I have another question. How do you train with just one arm?”

“I have to modify everything I do, and there are some exercises that I need Mr. Hashibira or Uncle Zenitsu to help me with. But, I make it work.”

“I wanna train with you,” Yoriichi declared. “We don’t do enough in PE, and I want to get stronger. We don’t have to do all the crazy stuff you do.”

“Not yet,” I replied. “You’re not done growing. You need to fill out more.”

He pouted and shoved his hands in his pockets. I held the front door open for him and we went back inside. Yoriichi went straight to the kitchen, hungry as always. Kanao was sitting on the couch, sewing. I watched her nimble fingers stitch swiftly and precisely. She was smiling in content concentration. Seeing her smile was so important to me. I sat down next to her.

“Hey, there,” I flirted.

She looked up at me and smiled bigger. “Hello.”

“What are we sewing today?”

“It’s another pillow,” she replied. “You know, I’m in such demand these days. Pillows are quick, and they sell well. I don’t have time to make much else.”

Kanao moved her hand and I was quick to take it. We exchanged playful looks. We’d had less of those lately. I was glad they were still around. Suddenly, Yoriichi was with us on the couch, a large dango bun in his hand.

“Where’d you get that?” I asked him.

“I found it.”

“I banned you from those for giving me attitude last week.”

“Yeah, but that was a week ago.”

“Did you tell someone else to buy that?”

“No, I just found it.”

“It’s all right, you two,” Kanao laughed. “I think Zenitsu bought it on his last trip out.”

“The Agatsuma family takes family trips out all the time,” Yoriichi suddenly changed the subject. “Why do we never do that?”

“Because, I’m a councilman,” I answered.

“When was the last time you took time off?” Kanao asked.

“I don’t remember, because I don’t like taking time off.”

“Why don’t we go see the sakura trees? It is March,” suggested Kanao. “You just have to take one day off. Just one.”

“I guess that’s okay,” I said.

“Sakura trees?” Yoriichi groaned. “Will there be anything else?”

“Yes, kiddo, we’ll do other things besides that,” I replied. “We’ll get food.”

“Okay,” he mumbled.

“When should we go?” I asked.

“How about tomorrow?” Kanao suggested.

“Tomorrow’s Monday…” I reminded her.

“So?”

“So, Yoriichi has school. We should do it this coming Saturday.”

“But, Dad, it’s Monday. We never do anything on Monday.” Yoriichi suddenly became a lot more interested. “And, we’re not learning anything new until Wednesday.”

“No,” I said firmly.

“Yes,” Yoriichi insisted.

“No.”

“Tanjiro, it’s fine,” Kanao said. “Just this one time.”

Yoriichi was giving me exaggeratedly large, pleading eyes, like he was a little kid. I narrowed my eyes and raised an eyebrow, determined to hold my ground. I was rapidly losing, however. Yoriichi was just telling me his woes about school again. His frustration was real. The light in his eyes was hard to resist.

“All right…” I sighed in defeat.

The sakura trees weren’t in the village, they were about an hour away to the south. They grew in a massive grove on the side of the road. Village residents and travelers alike flocked to them during March, when they were in their prime glory. The next day, we hired a car and went on our excursion. We had to get up at the same time Yoriichi would’ve woken up for school. Kanao and I had forgotten to tell him, so he was very angry when I woke him up. He fell asleep in the car, though. I remembered how he cried and fussed in cars as a baby. It was ironic. The three of us sat in the backseat with Yoriichi in the middle, his head plopped straight on my shoulder. Only twenty minutes earlier, he’d been yelling at me. I wasn’t complaining, though. As much as he loved to talk to me, he didn’t like to embrace me at the moment. He did for Kanao. His habits confused me. They changed every year, sometimes every month. Kanao napped in the car, too, with her head plopped in the exact same way on Yoriichi’s shoulder. I loved seeing the small ways they were alike.

There weren’t that many spectators when we got there because it was still early. But, the trees were absolutely impressive. Yoriichi scanned the surroundings.

“I thought you said there would be food,” he said.

“I said we’d do other things besides look at the trees,” I said. “That includes getting food back in the village later.”

“What the…?” he started. “You made it sound like this was a park! Like, with vendors!”

“No, sweetheart,” Kanao answered. “This is just a lovely grove of trees.”

“What’s the car doing?” Yoriichi gasped, realizing it was leaving.

“I told the the driver to come back in two hours,” I said. “That’s not very long.”

“Two hours is long!”

“Come on, Yoriichi,” called Kanao, starting down the path.

He folded his arms and slouched, then glared at me.

“We will get food, I promise,” I said. “Let’s just enjoy the trees.”

“Yeah, they’re beautiful,” he grumbled. “At least I’m not in school…”

We walked down the path, trees on either side. My hand was in Kanao’s. It felt like when we were young. I realized I hadn’t held her hand like this in a while. It still fit perfectly, like it was melded there. Yoriichi walked to my left, still sulking a little, but his eyes wandered over the branches. I should have brought some snacks for him. Why hadn’t I thought of that?

“Your father and I confessed our love to each other under a sakura tree,” Kanao explained with a smile. “The one at the Butterfly Mansion.”

Yoriichi perked up at the mention of the Butterfly Mansion and looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. He tried to compare our heights with his hand while we were walking, but he was not very discreet about it.

“You’re not going to get an accurate reading while we’re in motion,” I teased him.

“You noticed? I thought you were blind in that eye,” he said.

“Nope. Other eye. My right.”

Suddenly, there was a voice behind us. It called out and made me stop short.

“No way… is that Tanjiro?”

We wheeled around in unison. Approaching from behind us was Ken Yamashita and his wife, Mitsuri. Tagging along behind were his three children. I didn’t know which of his sons was which, but I recognized his daughter Kagura. She was spry and skinny, and her black curly hair was now waist-length. When she realized that her parents were going to talk to us, she shrunk back and stopped. She looked at us from a few steps behind. Ken was all smiles and we were pleasantly surprised. He introduced his sons. His eldest son, Takeshi, was the slightly taller one, and the other was Ryuji. Neither of them were talkative either. I knew that Ryuji was sixteen and Takeshi was eighteen.

“And, this must be Yoriichi!” Ken beamed. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Your dad speaks very highly of you. And, Tanjiro, you weren’t kidding at all! The family resemblance is so strong!”

Yoriichi was clearly embarrassed and uncomfortable. He blushed bright red and looked at me for help. I gave him a small nod.

“Nice to meet you, too…” he mumbled shyly.

“I mean no harm,” Ken smiled gently. “Your dad and I are a lot more than just business partners now. I’m glad to call him my friend.”

“That’s cool,” Yoriichi replied.

“How far was the drive here, Ken?” Kanao asked.

“About an hour and a half,” he replied. “Looks like this place is the perfect halfway point between us, right? Great minds think alike, and apparently have the same ideas at the same time!"

“Sorry to interrupt, Ken, but the driver will be back soon,” Mitsuri said. “We should start making our way back.”

“Of course,” Ken replied. “This was a nice surprise, Tanjiro. I’ll see you in a month.”

“Have a safe drive back!” I replied happily.

As the Yamashita family walked past us, Mitsuri suddenly stopped Kagura. She gave her an encouraging look.

“Kagura, you can at least exchange pleasantries with Dad’s coworkers.”

She paused, then turned her body halfway to look at us over her shoulder.

“Hello.”

“Hello, Kagura,” I said politely. “Do you remember me at all? I last saw you when you were nine. Your Dad invited me in for tea.”

“I remember,” she answered.

Mitsuri kept going. “Can you say hello to their son? He’s the same age as you.”

Yoriichi turned his head away sharply. He wanted no part of this, and neither did Kagura, clearly. But, if Mitsuri was insisting on it, then I was going to make Yoriichi comply.

“Yoriichi,” I prompted him.

His scent flared angrily, but he turned his head and looked at Mitsuri and Kagura. Mitsuri tapped Kagura on the shoulder.

“Hello,” Kagura said.

“Hello,” Yoriichi mumbled back.

Mitsuri chuckled and said a few more things about how we were all in the same boat as each other, then she and Kagura followed after the rest of their family. Kagura looked back once, but quickly turned her head away. Yoriichi watched them for a while, waiting for them to be out of earshot. Once they were gone a ways ahead, he turned on me.

“That was embarrassing!” he snapped.

“I know that you didn’t like all that attention,” I said. “Still, you need to remember your manners, especially in front of important people like Mr. Yamashita.”

“Sure,” he grumbled. “I’m hungry. Are we going back to the village now?”

“Not quite,” Kanao replied. “We still have some time. Here, Yoriichi. I have an apple for you. It’s not much, but it will tide you over.”

Of course, Kanao thought of bringing snacks for him when it didn’t occur to me at all. He munched on the apple, still in a mood. He trudged behind us, his free hand shoved deep into his pocket. I was annoyed at him, as well. I hated how he slouched when he walked. I understood it was probably because of how tall his frame was, but it didn’t look good. I worried what that was going end up doing to his shoulders. I didn’t like that he walked with hands in his pockets, either. That was all right sometimes, but he did it constantly. It was incredibly rude in public places, and it irked me greatly. I didn’t want him making a scene if I corrected him, so I reluctantly kept it to myself.

The trees were not at their full color yet, but being there brought back pleasant memories. I remembered when I was young and all the times Kanao and I sat under sakura trees, asleep on each other’s shoulders. Those days were so warm, so peaceful. We’d been through the worst, so it was like we weren’t afraid of anything anymore. We couldn’t imagine anything other than just being in love, because we were finally free. I rubbed her hand with my thumb, just like I used to back then. She turned her head to look at me while we walked and smiled. Her hair was up and pulled to the side in her hairpin today, just like when we were young. As of late, she was letting it down more. She had to have put it up like that today on purpose, for the memories. Sometimes, I still wished for that carefree, inconsequential love between us. We were still very much in love, all these years later. But, our love, as well as our view of the world, had changed so much since then. The reason why temperamentally threw his apple core over his shoulder.

Finally, the car came to pick us up. Yoriichi was still steaming. When we got in the car, he sounded off immediately.

“If that whole part was for you two, why’d you bring me along?”

“It wasn’t just for us,” I said. “It was as a family.”

“Yeah, but I could’ve just slept through all that…”

“Sweetheart, if your father and I wanted to go somewhere just for ourselves, we wouldn’t have let you miss school,” Kanao pointed out.

Yoriichi slouched in his seat. Then, he puffed up his cheeks and blew all the air out.

“Your posture is killing me, Yoriichi,” I finally let out. “Please, sit up.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, okay?” he sighed. “I just wanna go home. Let’s just do lunch there. I don’t want to go back to the village.”

“Kiddo, you’re in a mood, and it will pass,” I assured him. “We don’t need to know all of our feelings one hundred percent of the time.”

Yoriichi looked at me wearily, then at Kanao.

“You’re not the only person your age who struggles sometimes,” she added. “That young lady we met today seemed to feel the same as you. Instead of letting our difficult feelings divide us from people, why don’t we share them with others as an opportunity to come together?”

“I’m sorry I made a scene,” Yoriichi mumbled quietly.

“It’s all right, kiddo,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. “Do you wanna talk when we get home?”

“No. I just want to go back to sleep.”

And, as soon as we got home, he went straight to his room. Kanao came up to me as we both watched him shut the door hard.

“What do you think it is?” she asked me.

“Honestly, nothing,” I said. “He’s fourteen. But, to be honest, I think some of his friends are starting to move too fast for him, and he can’t get it off his mind. Let him sleep. It will make him feel better.”

That night, the weather pivoted and it rained, but Kanao and I were very warm. She was holding my bad hand off to the side of us so it wouldn’t get in the way. Her free hand moved gently over my shoulders and down my back. Her scent intensified during these precious minutes. I wanted to forget the world in her, if only for a little while. When we were finished, she ran her fingers through my hair. She was still obsessed with my hair. I always wanted her to be. I rolled to my side of the bed and she curled up against me, sliding her hands over my abdomen.

“I know you said not to worry about it,” she said softly. “But, I was still a little upset with Yoriichi today.”

“I don’t think he’s trying to act out,” I said. “He told me Goro has a girlfriend. He said it was about just finding it annoying, but I think he’s either jealous or just kind of taken aback."

“Actually, that doesn’t surprise me at all,” Kanao said as she gently tapped her fingers on me. “You’ve been there for him so much. I see him getting better every day, even when he gets in moods like he did today.”

“Yes, me, too.”

There was a long, peaceful pause. She exhaled, hummed a peaceful note, and adjusted her head and buried her nose into my neck. I thought we were going to gently drift off to sleep like that, but then she spoke again.

“So… when are you going to tell him?”

“Tell him…?” I started. “About the curse? I can’t do that to him yet.”

“You’re stalling.”

“Yes, I am.”

Kanao sighed with a hint of frustration. She moved so she was no longer touching me. I was disappointed and wanted her back, so I inched closer to her.

“You are breathtaking,” I said.

“That’s not going to work on me right now.”

“It was worth a shot.”

“What has to happen in order for you to tell him?”

There was another pause. I had to word it carefully in order to justify it.

“He’s come so far opening up about his difficulties,” I said. “But, he needs to find some comfort with himself first, some inner strength. For example, he always wants to train with me. I think he uses me as an example and it leads him to be uncomfortable with his own body. I tried to explain to him that his body isn’t done changing. And, I don’t think he always likes being tall. He only acts like he does because I promised him a reward for it. He wants to grow up, and he also doesn’t want to grow up at all. He’s confused and lacks confidence in himself. Until he’s found balance with who he is, I can’t tell him. To tell him now would destroy him.”

“If you’re waiting for him to give you a sign that he’s ready for it, Tanjiro, you might be waiting until it’s too late. But, you know him so much better than I do. So, I trust you know what you’re looking for in him.”

I wondered if I actually did, though. Kanao and I eventually kissed goodnight, loving and tender, as always. But, I still laid awake thinking about Yoriichi. This was the only way he could find out. It would be unfair for him to learn about the curse from anyone else but me. It was going to be just as hard for me as it would be for him. But, I loved him. That’s why I had to tell him.

Chapter Text

We Only Get One Life

As the seasons changed in the blink of an eye, so did our son. By the summer, he started to get thicker. His body was changing into that of a teenager versus a scrawny preteen. His voice still cracked often, but was starting to drop noticeably. When his anxiety with himself seemed to wane, Tanjiro followed up on his promise and took him training. They came back from the mountains with Yoriichi covered in sweat and panting heavily. I asked Tanjiro, who was very hot himself, but not panting at all, what he made him do.

“All we did was run two miles,” he replied with a smile.

Yoriichi was doubled over with his hands on his knees.

“Dad… that kicked my butt so much… but it was awesome… can we do that again?”

I was shocked by that response. Tanjiro grinned, like his plan was working. Yoriichi was rising to the work, and maybe more responsibility as well. That summer, he seemed happier. My guess was that it was simply because he wasn’t in school. Yoriichi was still far from done growing, and Tanjiro didn’t take him training as much as he wanted. He wouldn’t be so conscious of being tall once he filled out and had muscle. Tanjiro was trying to nurture Yoriichi through his insecurities in way I thought was truly remarkable. His intentions were obvious, though. He wanted Yoriichi confident before he told him the truth.

In the winter, Yoriichi turned fifteen. We threw a large party at the house. Aoi brought his favorite pork dumplings for the appetizers. After eating, the kids played outside in the snow and the adults were forced to read Zenitsu’s memoir inside. The book was in danger of not reaching a second printing if it didn’t sell more copies, and Zenitsu demanded that we all read it to prove it deserved more recognition.

“Your writing style is… very wordy and extravagant….” Aoi mused.

“Well, of course!” Zenitsu declared. “It’s an epic!”

“I don’t know if I’m reading this right…” Tanjiro said. “But… is this character supposed to be me?”

Tanjiro pointed to the passage in question and Zenitsu walked over to him.

“Of course, that’s you. He’s using sun-breathing, isn’t he?”

“But, my hair isn’t orange or long and flowing like the rays of the sun,” Tanjiro replied with an eyebrow raised. “And, this ‘heavenly light of the gods’ isn’t a sun-breathing technique.”

“Well, I told you that I had to protect your identities, didn’t I?” Zenitsu huffed. “That also includes the way you look. It also means changing the the names of the techniques to protect the honored secrets of the Demon Slayer Corps.”

“Hey, this isn’t how it happened!” Inosuke suddenly exclaimed. “In the fight against that worm lady belt demon, I did not lay helpless slowly dying on the ground while you finished her off with a swift lightning bolt! You and I killed her together, you had a broken leg, and I did not come back to life after being dead! I fought off that poison by myself! Where’s everything about my thick skin and awesome power? Where’s everything about how I survived being stabbed in the chest?”

“Well, if I included the part about how you’re so flexible that you can move your internal organs around, readers would find that incredibly disturbing!” Zenitsu yammered on. “So, I had to change it for the sake of the audience.”

“This technically isn’t a memoir, Zenitsu,” Aoi explained. “It is a dark fantasy novel, if it’s written this way.”

“It’s a novel of LIES!” shouted Inosuke.

“I think this sells well as a novel,” Nezuko added with an awkward smile. “I think that’s what you should market it as. We’ll always know it’s based on a true story, and our children will always know that, too.”

“Nezuko, my precious pink gem,” Zenitsu started gushing. “Thank you for your endless sympathy…”

“Yes, and I like how you dedicated the book to me and the children,” she beamed.

At that moment, the kids came back through the door, their clothes covered in snow. Six-year old Jigoro came bounding into the living room, tracking snow on the floor.

“Jigoro!” Nezuko called out. “You have to wipe your feet!”

“Daddy,” he said, not paying Nezuko any attention. “In your book, are there lots of pretty girls?”

“W-What?” Zenitsu stammered. “Why, yes, your beautiful mom!”

“Remember what we talked about, sweetie?” Nezuko added. “That’s for grown-ups.”

Meanwhile, six-year-olds Kotoha and Hiroshi were shaking snow off their coats outside. Hiroshi brushed off the snow cleanly while Kotoha simply shook her coat like a rag, snow dust flying everywhere. They were having an argument.

“No, Mom ate two different watermelon seeds and we hatched from them by ourselves,” Hiroshi was correcting Kotoha matter-of-factly. “If we hatched from the same watermelon, then we’d both be boys or both be girls and we’d look exactly the same.”

“It’s not possible to have that much fruit inside your body!” Kotoha shot back.

Aoi wheeled on Inosuke. “Did you tell them this? Why are we still perpetuating this story?”

Inosuke simply shrugged. “It kind of makes sense until they’re old enough.”

Yoriichi appeared with a smile. “Watermelon seeds again? Dad, you messed up big time with that.”

Tanjiro sighed and averted his gaze, blushing gently. I chuckled.

Soon to be twelve-year-old Saki and nine-year-old Isuzu were now at Nezuko’s side. Saki tugged on the edge of her mom’s kimono and asked when there would be dessert.

“Yeah, why don’t we all have dessert?” Nezuko offered.

It was a good call. Everyone forgot about the arguing and indulged on birthday cake.

Midway into the festivities, Zenitsu called out, “Yoriichi, Tanjiro, stand back to back!”

The two of them complied. After looking for a minute, everyone at the table applauded. Yoriichi’s eyes went wide.

“He’s taller than you, Tanjiro!” announced Zenitsu. “It’s official!”

Before Yoriichi could start celebrating, I decided to intervene.

“I’ll make sure of that.”

I grabbed a particularly flat spoon from the kitchen, then stood behind my husband and son and placed it across the tops of their heads. I stepped back and carefully observed. Yoriichi looked at me with his eyes narrowed, like I was raining on his parade. After careful deliberation, I reached my final verdict.

“Yoriichi is not quite the same height as Tanjiro,” I said. “But, he is very, very close. My guess is that Yoriichi will be taller within a year, but for right now, he is not.”

“Really, Mom?” Yoriichi droned.

“Sorry, kiddo,” Tanjiro chuckled.

“Hey, Uncle Tanjiro!” Jigoro suddenly called out with a mouth full of cake.

“Yes?”

“What’s that red thing on your face?”

A silence fell over the room. Tanjiro simply blinked. He thought for a minute and tried to come up with an answer.

“Well, you see…”

“Jigoro Agatsuma!” scolded Nezuko. “That is not polite. People look how they look, we don’t ask them why or what’s wrong.”

“It’s just a mark,” Tanjiro finally answered with a small smile.

“Yes, some people are born with marks,” Nezuko went on desperately. “Please, apologize to your uncle.”

“No need, Nezuko, it’s fine,” assured Tanjiro. “There’s a lot more cake here. Does anyone want seconds?”

After cake was over, the Hashibira family left, and Nezuko and the children went to bed. Tanjiro and Zenitsu made a fire outside. I knew Zenitsu was drinking saké, and Tanjiro was not. I was finishing up the cleaning when Yoriichi walked up to me. He was eating an additional ball of dango. His sweet tooth was never satisfied.

“Mom, Dad already told me a long time ago that his mark was another thing from demon slaying,” he said. “I didn’t say anything to Jigoro because he’s just a kid.”

“What else did your father tell you about the mark?” I asked cautiously.

“He just said it was one of his injuries,” Yoriichi replied innocently. “But, why did nobody else get marks? You don’t have any, and Uncle Zenitsu and Mr. Hashibira don’t have any, either.”

“Well, your father was put in very grave danger many times during his journey,” I tried to explain. “His body suffered in numerous ways. We all fought in dangerous battles, and all of our bodies suffered, but your father was… different. Kibutsuji targeted him in particular, so he was put in much more extreme circumstances.”

“Okay,” answered Yoriichi, then finished off his dango. “I’ve got one other question.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Can I drop out of school?”

I blinked at him in surprise. “Yoriichi, your father and I aim to keep you in school for as long as the curriculum goes.”

“Here’s the thing, though,” Yoriichi went on. “The teacher is already giving me work for the grade above, because otherwise I finish everything early and then just fall asleep because of how boring everything is. He thought that giving me harder stuff would make me not do that, but the so-called ‘harder’ work is really not that much harder. So, I keep falling asleep anyway. I left school early the other day, all I skipped was PE, and went to visit Mr. Banno. We talked about all the school skills you need for glass blowing, and I’ve pretty much covered it already. Everything else, he can teach me as an apprentice. So, long story short, I’m pretty confident that I don’t need to go to school anymore.”

I was silent and looked at him for a moment. In the last year, I had to admit I was starting to side with him. Yoriichi was very intelligent, perhaps even too intelligent for school. There was only so much that we could afford and only so much this small village could offer. He knew what path he wanted to take, so why were we holding him back? We had always wanted him to decide his own path. I wasn’t sure why Tanjiro didn’t see it, why he insisted that Yoriichi stay in school. Tanjiro originally wanted to homeschool him. I was the one who thought he should go to school. It was irony, really. But, I looked at Yoriichi now, and I agreed he had a point. I couldn’t promise him anything, though, or he’d hold me to it. So, I took a deep breath.

“Yoriichi, your father just wants you to have the best possible experience in life, and his idea of that involves giving you what he never had. That’s the only reason he wants you to stay in school as long as you can.”

“But, school doesn’t teach you about life. It teaches you how to do subjects if you want to do certain jobs,” said Yoriichi. “I don’t want to do those jobs. Dad’s already taught me about life. I’m pretty sure I can get the most out of life from just having Dad around.”

My heart sank into my stomach, but I couldn’t cry in front of him. I’d give it all away.

“Why don’t you tell these exact words to Dad, then?” I asked carefully.

“I wanted to practice on you first. Please, Mom… every year I waste in school is a year I could be doing what I really want to do.”

The light in his eyes danced eagerly and surely in their confidence. He was smiling at me expectantly. I wiped my hands on the dishtowel, as if I hoped the right words would rub off it.

“Yoriichi, I know you’re dissatisfied with school and have been for a long time,” I finally said. “I know you love to work with your hands and have thought about doing glass blowing ever since you met Mr. Banno. You can tell Dad what you told me, but I can’t promise he will change his position. I will tell you that the argument you proposed has convinced me that at least telling him is worth a try.”

“All right,” Yoriichi said, and started to walk away.

“Sweetheart, wait,” I called after him. “Please, wait until you finish the school year until you do.”

He turned around sharply. “But, that’s still for three or four months!”

“If you try to tell him you want to quit school while the school year is still going on… he might get the wrong idea,” I explained. “Think about it, Yoriichi.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and slouched, but he thought about it. He brushed his bangs away from his eyes. He needed to trim his hair, but I’d nag him about that later.

“Okay, fine…” he mumbled.

“Did you have a good birthday, sweetheart?” I desperately changed the subject.

He smiled again. “Yes, I did.”

“I’m glad. Every one of your birthdays is wonderful for me.”

“Because you gave birth to me?” he smiled bigger.

“Exactly,” I replied. “I love you, Yoriichi.”

“I love you, too, Mom,” he concluded, and walked back to his room.

When he left, I slowly resumed cleaning the final dishes. At that moment, Tanjiro came in from outside. The scent of charcoal wafted through the doorway. He had a little bit of soot on his snow boots. That must have been what he looked like before everything happened.

“Hey, there,” he said when he saw me.

“Hello,” I replied. “Where’s Zenitsu?”

“He already went to bed, but he went through the back door.”

“So… you stayed out by the fire by yourself?”

“I was talking to my family,” he explained. “I was thinking about the Hinokami Kagura. I needed to find my strength.”

“What do you need to be strong for?”

“Oh… you know…”

We were quiet for a second, then I took my apron off and walked over to him. There were still things to clean and put away, but someone else would do it in the morning. I stood with him in the living room, patiently waiting for him to say more. When he didn’t, I pressed him on.

“So, are you going to do it?”

“Well, not on his birthday.”

“Next week?”

“That’s still too close to his birthday.”

“Tanjiro…”

“I asked my family for guidance,” he said softly. “I haven’t reached a conclusion yet. But, I’m getting closer to having full courage. I’m getting closer to knowing what to say.”

“You have plenty of courage. I’ve seen it.”

“This isn’t the same, Kanao,” he insisted. “I don’t know how to describe it, but this is so much harder for me. I can’t hurt my own child like this.”

“I don’t want to watch you do this, either,” I said. “It’s going to hurt all of us. But, you’re not doing it to be malicious. You’re doing it because he deserves to know.”

I took his hands in mine. His hair smelled smoky and wonderful, and his eyes seemed to have become an even brighter red from sitting by the fire.

“Can I wait until he’s done with this school year?” he asked quietly. “If I tell him while he’s in school, then it will distract him.”

Thinking about the conversation I just had with Yoriichi, I knew I’d be setting up a crash course if I told him yes. I had already told Yoriichi to wait to share his proposition about school until then. I couldn’t tell either of them what the other was planning. Tanjiro had a point, though. I didn’t know what else to do, so I just leaned forward and kissed him. He took me into his grasp and held me lovingly. But, I shouldn’t have kissed him. I should have stood my ground. Still, I indulged him to the last second, because I wanted to cherish what could be the last few months we’d stay a normal family.

When we woke up the next morning, the smoke still lingered in his hair. I didn’t want to take my nose out of it. We dressed each other like we always did in the morning, but in silence. It wasn’t that it wasn’t loving. Every second of it was loving. I could feel it in his touch. It was just nonverbal, like we suddenly had no idea what to say to each other. We weren’t angry, we weren’t scared, and we weren’t awkward. I wasn’t sure what it was. We kissed again as he left for work, still without any words. I sat at the breakfast table, lost in thought, barely focused on my food. As Nezuko ushered the kids to get ready for school, I realized that Yoriichi had quietly slipped away. I checked his room, and it was empty. Feeling panic rise in me, I looked outside. He was halfway up the hill to the mountain paths.

“Yoriichi Kamado!” I called out to him. “Where are you going?”

“I’m taking a walk, Mom,” he called back, not even turning to face me. “Trust me, they won’t even notice that I’m not there.”

“Huh?!?! Yes, they will! Yoriichi, please come back!”

It was cold that morning, but, of course, he had no coat on. The snow was deep. I tripped several times trying to catch up to him, but he wouldn’t stop. By the time I did, he was halfway down the mountain path, and I was angry. If he had tried to go back to the house, then down the mountain, then to school from that point, he would have missed an entire half of the day. When I finally caught up to him, I couldn’t feel my fingers and toes. I grabbed his wrist from behind. He was actually startled. But, instead of scolding him, I just burst into tears.

“Mom?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

There were so many reasons why I was crying, besides the fact that I was upset with him. But, despite how angry I was at him for skipping school, as well as having the audacity to think that I wouldn’t try to chase him, I couldn’t control my body. My face planted into his chest, and I gripped his shirt and sobbed.

And, the way he held me was just like Tanjiro. The way he rubbed my shoulders was just like Tanjiro. The warmth emanating from him was just like Tanjiro. And, who could ever forget that he looked just like Tanjiro?

“Mom,” he repeated, his voice also just like Tanjiro. “What’s wrong? I’m still not going to school. But… are you okay?”

“Sweetheart,” I managed. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

“Sorry about what? Did something happen?”

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest with you last night. I don’t think you need to go to school anymore. I want you to be who you want to be. I can’t guarantee that Dad will react well if you tell him your plan. But, you’re right, sweetheart. You need to live your life the way you feel is right. We only get one life, you know. We only get one life…”

I cried and cried into his shirt. He held me closer. We walked back to the house together and had tea. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Maybe I just couldn’t take the build up. I couldn’t take the secrecy. I couldn’t stand Tanjiro’s avoidance and I couldn’t stand my weakness not to intervene. Tanjiro would tell me it was okay to have emotions. But, I shouldn’t have let Yoriichi cut school, either. Tanjiro would find out inevitably, with his acute ability to smell a lie.

Yoriichi had barely touched his tea. He was still concerned about my crying.

“Hey, Mom,” he said quietly. “When you say that we only get one life… does that mean you wish yours had been different?”

“No, I don’t wish that,” I sniffled.

“Even though… your life was very hard?”

“I have suffered many hardships in my life,” I explained. “But, only in this one did I get both your father and you, and I would never trade either of you for any glamorous life.”