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Chapter Text

Wilder [20:39h]: Cue: it’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Wilder [20:39h]: I was just talking to mom and dad.

Wilder [20:40h]: What’s everyone doing for IPH this year?

Wilder [20:40h]: They want to do dinner on the third day.

Velite [20:41h]: Do you even have time to do anything?

Velite [20:42h]: Aren’t you still on Jarilo IV introducing the masses to the wonders of Aetherium Wars?

Wilder [20:44h]: We’ll be wrapping up here in time for the holiday but thanks for your concern little bro.

Velite [20:44h]: You’re only minutes older!

Wilder [20:45h]: Minutes that matter.

Jesse [21:03h]: not this argument again

Jesse [21:03h]: pass. saw the parents recently and i’m going to be nowhere near home

Jesse [21:04h]: don’t have time off anyway

Jesse [21:04h]: not everyone works for the ipc

Wilder [21:05h]: Shouldn’t they be standardizing holidays by now? Your logistics company works for the IPC.

Velite [21:05h]: Can I invite a friend?

Velite [21:05h]: Jesse has brought her girlfriend to family things before.

Velite [21:05h]: I know someone who might appreciate this.

Velite [21:06h]: I’m not sure if he’s ever celebrated IPH before.

Wilder [21:07h]: !!!!

Wilder [21:07h]: You’re bringing someone?!

Velite [21:07h]: He’s loud but nice.

Jesse [21:08h]: awwwwww baby bro got a boyfriend

Wilder [21:08h]: You’re dating someone?!

Wilder [21:08h]: And you didn’t tell us before? How long?

Velite [21:08h]: He’s not

Velite [21:08h]: I don’t think so

Velite [21:08h]: I’m not sure

Velite [21:08h]: I already asked so

Velite [21:09h]: His name is Argenti.

Wilder [21:09h]: I can’t believe Velite is inviting someone home before me.

Jesse [21:18h]: i can

Wilder [21:19h]: What’s that supposed to mean?

It’s only been approximately a week — give or take standardized timezone adjustment from galaxy to galaxy — but Wilder has still had a lot of time to think about who his brother could possibly be bringing to IPH.

After getting over the initial shock that Velite has someone he knows well enough to even suggest it. Velite doesn’t type often in their family chat, but when he does it’s almost always work-related.

Reading between the figurative lines, Wilder knows his brother is miserable.

He also knows that his brother is so overworked with menial tasks that leave little to no time for socialization outside of work. Which means that Velite had to have met him at his IPC branch or at some work-related event.

In thinking of this mystery person accompanying Velite to their family IPH dinner — with the only clues being that this person is a man named Argenti who apparently has never celebrated IPH — Wilder has imagined an unremarkable and average-looking marketing graduate who likely works for a company that does business with the IPC.

Alternatively, maybe someone who works in Velite’s marketing division who just doesn’t take holidays when offered — Wilder doesn’t know if this is legally-possible but he’s sure the IPC has loopholes to exploit if someone really wants to — or works a job in such high demand that he can’t.

What Wilder certainly didn’t imagine was a knight in archaic but gleaming armour, brilliant red hair that falls in waves past his shoulders, and a wide smile that either belongs in a toothpaste commercial or in an idol group.

Yet, this is the exact person who knocks on Velite’s door and then stands in the hallway beaming at Wilder while holding a formidable and sharp-looking fighting spear.

The man doesn’t look real.

Briefly, he wonders if this is why Velite invited this particular man — Argenti. Maybe it’s part of a sales pitch that he wants Wilder’s help with since Jade doesn’t listen to anyone in their department and Oswaldo Schneider isn’t going to accept an email from anyone under P40 at least, possibly P45.

Mouth curling up into a smirk, Wilder also wonders if Velite has mentioned to this Argenti that he has an identical twin.

When he and Velite were children, they used to swap places all the time. Somehow, their parents would always know, so they quickly moved on to playing pranks on Jesse. When she began to figure things out, Wilder and Velite quickly moved on to their friends and extended family members, who still have trouble remembering who is who to this day.

And really, Wilder can think of no better way of introducing Velite’s potential boyfriend to their family than posing as Velite.

Perhaps he can even help his brother out a bit. Velite has few social skills and Wilder definitely noticed how he tried to deflect away from the fact that Argenti could be his boyfriend.

“Argenti,” Wilder says, allowing his hands to fall casually to his sides. “I thought you wouldn’t be able to come.”

The knight’s hand grips his spear so tightly that Wilder can hear a soft screech of metal.

“I know not for what nefarious purpose you are wearing Velite’s face,” Argenti says. His smile falls into a grave expression the more he speaks. “However, I do know that you are not him and if you have done something to him you should be prepared to face the gravest of consequences.”

Not only does this guy not look real, but he also doesn’t sound real.

Did Velite find him in a lab or something?

“A Knight of Beauty is honour-bound to protect all beauty and naturally that includes the rare delicacy of his own life partner. So I ask you, where is Velite Fabri?”

Before Wilder can wrap his head around the phrase “rare delicacy of his own life partner” never mind the fact that it’s about his own brother and that this man is threatening him with what looks to be a real sword, Wilder laughs.

He doesn’t mean to, but this man is so ridiculous and is also apparently dating his brother of all people.

His father had once mentioned the Knights of Beauty as cautionary tales to Velite in an effort to discourage his brother from becoming a pilot. Wilder knows very little about them except that they all go insane eventually, driven to madness by the vast depths of exploring space alone.

Wilder wonders if Argenti truly is a Knight of Beauty or just someone pretending to be one.

Maybe Velite is playing a larger joke on him.

“Okay, how did you know?” Wilder asks.

Trying desperately to stop laughing at the man, Wilder stands up a bit straighter and looks Argenti in the eye. If Argenti is some sort of actor, Wilder can at least try to get him to break character.

To Argenti’s credit, the knight doesn’t look offended by Wilder laughing somewhat hysterically in his face at all — just confused and still visibly on-guard with his hand gripped tightly. Poised to draw his sword.

Maybe Argenti is a really good actor.

A better actor than Wilder given how Argenti hadn’t for a second seemed to believe that Wilder was actually Velite.

“We always used to be able to fool people as kids,” Wilder explains shakily, still choking down his laughter in the face of Argenti’s aggressive fighting stance. “Even Jesse would fall for it half of the time.”

“You lack his beauty,” Argenti says promptly, relaxing his stance.

Wilder finds himself breathing out a sigh of relief at the motion. He hadn’t realized just how uncomfortable Argenti’s attachment to the weapon was making him until Argenti had moved away from being able to cleave him in half at a split-second’s notice.

Shaking his head at his own stupidity — who knows if Argenti can even use it; people rarely fight with archaic weapons these days — Wilder bites his lip and shifts backwards into Velite’s hallway. It can’t help to create a bit of distance between him and Argenti regardless. He did just lie to the knight who may or may not be his brother’s boyfriend.

Then Argenti’s words catch up with him and Wilder nearly bursts out laughing again at the realization that Argenti practically called him ugly to his face.

“You’re as direct as he’s said you are,” Wilder manages to choke out, trying to disguise his laughter as a coughing fit.

“You are beautiful in a divergent manner,” Argenti says. “One that is certainly attractive, albeit in a different way than my Velite.”

Resisting the urge to ask how, considering that the two of them are identical twins, Wilder shakes his hand again and smiles. He doesn’t know how to respond to Argenti’s seemingly genuine honesty.

“Thank you for that,” he says after another minute of Argenti staring at him expectantly passes. “You should come in before Velite’s neighbours report a strange knight in their hallway.”

“Fear not!” the knight says with an overly-formal bow. “They are quite used to my appearance by now.”

Wilder doesn’t know how anyone could get used to Argenti’s appearance but this statement tells him a lot about just how committed Velite is to this relationship.

Either that or Argenti is some sort of stalker, which is probably what the neighbours think regardless.

“Of course they are,” Wilder says, shoving that particular thought down as he gestures for Argenti to finally come in.

He steps aside to let Argenti through and the knight leans down in the foyer, beginning what seems like an incredibly tedious process of undoing the metal buckles around his boots.

“Wilder what are you— Oh! Argenti!”

Nearly stumbling on his worn runner, Velite comes in from the kitchen with his spoon still in hand.

Wilder watches carefully as Velite’s usual overwhelmed and wide-eyed look fades into a soft expression that he has never seen on Velite’s face before. As Velite slowly approaches Argenti, blinking in disbelief, Wilder automatically takes a step away from them.

It’s awkward.

Suddenly, he feels like he really shouldn’t be there with the way that Velite is staring at Argenti and Argenti is looking at Velite like he’s some sort of miracle as opposed to Wilder’s boring and neurotic twin brother.

“I…wasn’t sure if you would make it,” Velite says. “I mean, I had hoped and I said that you didn’t have to come but— I’m glad you could make it Argenti.”

Wilder had thought that Argenti’s smile was blinding before, but what he saw when he first opened the door is nothing compared to the look Argenti is giving Velite now, visibly bursting with a happiness that Wilder quickly realizes is reflected in his brother’s eyes.

He really shouldn’t be here.

Slowly, Wilder begins inching down the hallway, hoping that neither Velite nor Argenti notice him making his escape.

“My love,” Argenti says, his voice rasping as he reaches for Velite.

He really shouldn’t be here.

And does not want to be here.

Wilder looks away in time to avoid seeing his brother making out with Argenti, who is definitely Velite’s boyfriend.

Velite had wildly undersold their relationship in the family chat and Wilder will call his brother out on it much later when he isn’t dealing with the more real aspects of Velite’s relationship in front of him.

At a low moan from his brother Wilder decides that enough is enough and clears his throat loudly.

Velite jumps away from Argenti with a high-pitched squeak.

For his part, Argenti doesn’t look at all contrite.

If anything, Argenti looks like he wants to jump his brother regardless of Wilder’s presence.

“Your stew is going to burn, little brother,” Wilder says before Argenti can do just that. “Shouldn’t you be trying to impress me and your guest?”

“You— I’m only minutes younger. We’re twins!”

“Minutes that matter,” Wilder says, leaning into their old argument.

Velite’s hand tightens around the wooden spoon and for a brief second, Wilder thinks that he might throw it at him. Instead, Velite turns on his socked feet, grumbling as he practically runs back into the kitchen to rescue the stew.

Wilder follows.

“So…you have a boyfriend,” he says, leaning against the counter next to Velite’s small stovetop with a smirk.

Flushing red with embarrassment, Velite looks up from the stew nervously. “I know he’s…”

“A weirdo? Don’t the Knights of Beauty all go insane eventually?”

He says this with more concern than he means to but if Velite is serious about Argenti, which it looks like he definitely is, Wilder really doesn’t want Velite to have to deal with watching his partner lose his mind.

Bristling, Velite stirs the stew a bit more forcefully and grits his teeth. “Not what you expected.”

“I’ll say. How did you two even meet anyway?”

Velite ducks his head and frowns. “It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got all IPH to catch up.”

Looking up at him with a pleading expression, Velite shakes his head. “I’ll tell you later…when he’s not here…just—”

Wilder sighs.

The stew bubbles loudly in the pot and for a moment, the only noises are of Velite’s cooking and the metallic sounds of Argenti taking off his boots at the other end of the hallway.

“You love him?”

Slowly, Velite nods, blushing furiously again.

“Well then, you should probably invite him in yourself. This isn’t my place.”

Velite’s head whips up from where he had been staring into the pot, eyes wide. Wilder watches his brother blink away tears and nod, stumbling back into the hallway. Once he hears Velite talking to Argenti softly in the distance, Wilder takes his phone from his pocket and smiles.

Wilder [17:09h]: So I met Velite’s boyfriend.

Wilder [17:09h]: He’s a Knight of Beauty and that only explains half of how weird he is.

Jesse [17:09h]: what!?

Jesse [17:09h]: details now

Wilder [17:10h]: You responded quickly.

Wilder [17:10h]: I thought you were working all day?

Jesse [17:10h]: —This user is offline. To receive a message when this user is available please press #—