Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

February 2023, Stadium Tour- 

Nikki leaned back and shut his eyes as the Def- Crüe jet leveled off after its assent into the night sky, heading towards their next destination from Monterrey, Mexico to Bogota, Colombia.

“ Heh…heh … duuude, no way.” Snorting, sly laughter ensued from the seat behind him.

Nikki shifted to a slightly different position and tilted his hat over his eyes as if that would block out the whispering and snickering that was continuing on behind him.

“D’fuck? That’s crazy,” the voice continued. “Sick.”

The irritated bassist cleared his throat while aggressively elbowing the back of his seat to send a non-verbal, shut-the-hell-up warning to his overly-humored buddy who sat behind him. 

“Hey, Nikki, you gotta check this out,” Tommy blared, getting to his feet to lean over the back of Nikki’s seat.

“No… I’m exhausted after tonight’s show. I just wanna get some sleep. So if you could quiet the fuck down, that would be great.”

“Dude, seriously… you’re never gonna believe what I stumbled across.”

“C’mon, Tom. Even if it’s a photo of your ex blowing a goat, it can wait ‘til morning,” Nikki resolved, as he turned towards the window, pulling his hat even further down to cover his eyes, as well as a light blanket tugged up to shield the rest of his face.

He could hear Tommy sigh and grumble as he sat back down in his seat with a heavy plomp, which lightly shook the floor of the plane. Although piqued curiosity swept through Nikki’s mind as he tried to fall back into a state of twilight sleep, it wasn’t enticing enough to pull him away from a soon-to-be round trip to dreamland.

—------

Some hours later, Nikki sensed the presence of someone taking up the seat adjacent to his. With some stretching he stirred awake, blinking his eyes to see Tommy sitting next to him. “What time is it?” he asked, in a sleepy, throaty voice.

“Uh, like five in the morning,” Tommy answered, confirming the correct time on his phone.

Nikki groaned as he stretched some more. “The hell is wrong with you. Did you even sleep?”

“I just… I can’t…,” the drummer revealed, putting his focus back on whatever was on his phone screen.

“You’re killing me… what the hell is it that has you so wound up? Just show me or tell me really fast, then go away so that I can sleep for another hour or two. When’s the plane landing, anyway?”

“Uh… I don’t know. I think we got another hour or so until Bogota,” Tommy responded, putting his phone down as he bit his lip into a twisted grin while staring into Nikki’s eyes.

“What!? Fucking what is it?” Nikki growled, feeling unamused by his friend’s prolonged reveal of whatever stupid shit he conjured up online.

“So, um… you heard about fanfiction, right?” Tommy asked, barely able to control his giddiness.

Nikki’s eyes sharpened. “I guess,” he shrugged. “Isn’t that like companion stories to Lord of the Rings or Star Wars or something, written by fans? Who cares,” he replied, acrimony present in his tone.

“Yeah, yeah… that’s some of it. But did you know that people write stories about real people… um, celebrities… er, uh… like actors, or heh , uh, rock stars?”

“So, what,” Nikki said, flatly. “Someone wrote a story about you, skipping through a meadow, tossing daisies?” he asked, seemingly unimpressed by Tommy’s discovery.

“Not that topic, but yeah… about me… and you. Um, band stories. Lotta different takes of the Dirt.”

“Great… well, maybe tell me later about the alternate way the band came together and all the different fucking songs I wrote, but right now I’d just like to get another hour of sleep. Is that alright with you?” Nikki snarled, pulling his hat down again.

Tommy craned his neck to see who was awake around them and perhaps was listening. It appeared that no one was interested in what Tommy and Nikki were discussing. “Dude,” he whispered. “It’s not just that type of stuff… It's like, relationships.”

Nikki flicked his hat back up, his eyes flashing with anger, as his need for sleep quickly waned away. “No one better be writing about my wife. What the fuck?”

Tommy shook his head. “No, man. Not your wife… and not mine, at least that I’ve seen so far… um, they write about us,” he said quietly, but with cogency.

Nikki, feeling irritated, popped up his hands in question, not understanding what Tommy meant by that. “So? What, are we fucking a few groupies or something?”

The drummer rolled his eyes. “Dude!” he gritted through his teeth. “No, me and you… like together,” he revealed, with the twirl of his finger to suggest the relational connection between them.

Nikki chuckled uncomfortably. “What do you mean… like we’re a gay couple?”

“Exactly,” Tommy affirmed. 

“What… and that story has had you up all night. What did we do, kiss and hold hands?”

“Story? Try stories… hundreds of them. I don’t even know where to start. And yes, we kiss, and well, you know…” Tommy trailed off.

“No, I don’t know,” Nikki shot back, as his brows knitted into a sharp vee.

“Like, sex, man. You just gotta read one.”

“The hell I will. I’m not reading any of that. What the hell is wrong with people?” 

Tommy shrugged. “Nothing to get bent over. It’s just–”

“Just what? Why are people writing about us? I’m like… fuck… I’m like freaking out now. Did–”

“No… no, no. It’s not what you think,” Tommy said, trying to shush Nikki. “It’s everybody. These guys, too,” Tommy whispered, pointing ahead towards other seat rows where a few members of Def Leppard sat sleeping. “It’s all rock bands, Nik… young and old… current and retired, or even dead and gone. It’s everyone, and even within the stories about our band, we’re, like, sometimes paired with Vince or Mick, or whoever. It depends on the writer. I even saw a story about me and Axl Rose. I didn’t read it… I didn’t want to. Besides, I’ve been too busy reading the ones about me and you.”

Nikki clenched his fist as his jaw flexed. “Stop… alright? I don’t want to know. I really don’t,” he huffed. 

“I just thought that you might find it funny, or–”

“Or what? Humiliating?” Nikki snapped, cutting Tommy off. “Go somewhere else with that, okay? I don’t want to see it.”

“It’s not like we haven’t–”

“I said stop, Tom. Just stop,” Nikki warned. “Don’t bring it up again.”

“Personally, I don’t know what the big deal is. It’s entertaining, is all,” Tommy brooded, as he began to lift himself out of the chair.

“Don’t share it with anyone else. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”

Tommy bit on his bottom lip. “I already told John. Rita got up to go hang out up front with Hannah and Ari, so I went back to his seat to tell him. I had to show someone. I tried to show you, but you wanted to sleep.”

“That’s as far as you go, then. And what’d he say about it?”

The drummer shrugged, as he tried to stifle a smirk. “He thought it was funny. There are stories about him, too. Like with people from Marilyn Manson and with Jim Root from Slipknot.”

Nikki scrubbed his tired face. “Oh god… I don’t know what to think. This is fucked up… so fucked up. Just don’t bring me into it, okay? And don’t go telling all of these other guys. The last thing we need is people suspecting shit between us.”

“Personally I think the Leps would be humored by it. Besides, they’re not gonna read stories about us, they’re gonna want to see what’s written about themselves.”

“Tom, just drop it, please. I don’t need this, alright?”

“Fucking lame ass,” Tommy sulked, as he slinked away, returning to his own seat.

Nikki sighed then closed his eyes, wishing that Tommy had just kept his mouth shut. For years he had tried to block out the things that happened between them, even though it wasn’t even that long ago the last time they shared a kiss… in 2018, when the Dirt was being filmed, and they finally reconciled their differences after the Final Tour during which their friendship became so strained, that it was nearly destroyed.

It was way back in the day, though, when the more salacious occurrences happened between Nikki and Tommy. It was the early days when copious amounts of uppers and downers were consumed at once, wild women were in and out of their apartment and backstage, and Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan were their preferred breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was a dizzy recipe to achieve the highest form of debauchery. The whiskey was Nikki’s go-to, and the sweeter rum was Tommy’s. The massive pile of garbage that began to accumulate in the apartment was mostly made up of the empty bottles of those two hard liquors along with tequila empties from Vince, and enough beer cans to erect three scaled-down Eiffel Towers in their living space.

Nikki wasn’t sure whether he was so coked up that he couldn’t remember things properly, or whether he intentionally blocked out the most humiliating of their antics, but he knew, to a certain extent, that he and Tommy would go to bed with women, but would often wake up naked, one piled on the other… just the two of them. Sticky, gummy cum smeared on their hands and bellies. Deep down, Nikki knew the truth. When the women got boring, or annoyingly loud or demanding, he and Tommy would kick them out, and continue getting each other off. Frotting, humping, or a large, lubed-up hand squeezing both cocks together were often their preferred methods. 

It became a regular game for the duo. They clinked their bottles together, gulped down half a liter each, tossed some pills down their throats for good measure, then went off on an adventure to scout for hot girls, dubbing themselves Jack and Captain as they traversed the moldy reaches of the apartment, the pissed-on dried-up landscape just outside, or when not home, the graffitied, vomit-scented passageways through the clubs in search for their nightly conquests.

“Captain! Over here!” Jack would holler, signaling that there was a hot brunette in his sight.

“Tally-ho, Jack!”  Captain would retort with a thumbs up, as he’d soon join his hunting partner’s side for the strike.

It wouldn’t be long before Jack, Captain, and their lucky girl or girls would relocate to a private area where the fun would begin. But far too often Jack and Captain were itching for something different. The change in activity was usually initiated with a sly wink, followed by a replenishment of whiskey and rum down their throats to further numb the senses, then the girls would quickly be banished.

Neither man could explain it, but neither cared to broach the uncomfortable subject, anyway. They just did what they did, living in the moment, then tried to erase the uneasy memories and evidence of their actions by the morning… mainly by avoiding eye contact and keeping their mouths shut… and a lot of scrubbing with soap and hot water.

Nikki slouched down in his cushy, leather airline seat, then pulled the blanket up around his shoulders while memories from those days flooded his mind. He had never forgotten how much he liked having his hips gripped by the drummer’s large hands. Nor would he soon forget how Tommy’s large, weighty frame felt lying on top of his own. Nikki would be remiss not to remember the way his best friend’s sweet and smoky breath intoxicated him further, and how the younger one’s facial stubble enticingly scraped across his collarbone when those pouty lips sucked on his neck.

The bar was raised the night that the drummer drunkenly dared to go beyond grinding and squeezing, taking Nikki’s cock into his mouth, sucking and slurping on him until a sudden, massive amount of pearly cum shot into the back of Tommy’s throat. As divine as that was, Nikki was sure that he never reciprocated, even though, as he sat in the leather airplane seat, he somehow could inexplicably recall exactly what cum tasted like… the flavor ingrained in his memory. 

After they moved out of the Clark Street apartment, the sexual liaisons quelled. Their dual-fueled naked escapades nearly ceased, being replaced with tender touches and more playful type gestures like lap sitting and sleeping on the other’s shoulder. 

However, sometime in the mid-80s they wound up going all the way. Nikki couldn’t explain how it happened, but a lot of alcohol and a glance from him to Tommy’s hard mound within his tight spandex pants led them to share a bed at the hotel that night, where Nikki completely came undone while experiencing his first prostate orgasm triggered by his drummer’s invasive male organ that somehow found refuge in the bassist’s needy ass.

Nikki looked out the airline window, watching the deep orange sun blaze over the purply clouds, as dawn began to take shape. He recalled how awkward things were the following day after he and Tommy engaged in sex with each other for the first time. He remembered wanting to shrink away into something about the size of a quark when he had to face his best buddy the next morning. It took weeks, maybe even a few months before he could actually look at Tommy without immediately thinking about what they did together. 

That incident took an extended time to purge from his memory. Although, it didn’t stay purged for very long, as it happened again a handful of other times during the Dr. Feelgood tour. It was inevitable. After getting clean and getting shape, one became irresistible to the other, and vice versa. But eventually, Nikki chose to put a stop to it when he became a father. Deep inside, he felt that his sexual encounters with Tommy were emasculating him to a certain extent. His son didn’t need two mothers, he needed a father in his life… a tough guy who could teach his son how to become a man.

As sunlight began to fill the cabin through the open window shades, Nikki sighed as he brought up those past sentiments, sexist and biased at best. He was fooling no one by regarding himself as the epitome of a hearty, robust, testosterone-filled man’s man. How could anyone see him as that when he spent years wearing make-up and high-heeled boots… and was immortalized in photos of him groping his male bandmates. His fatherhood was just an excuse, plain and simple, to stop something that made him feel gay, and that wasn’t something that he was willing to understand or accept.

Despite Nikki’s resistance to Tommy’s occasional advances and suggestive notions over the years, he declined further intimacy, retreating back to the safety of gentle touches and friendly flirting with his best friend. That kiss in 2018 was the most risque thing that they had done since Nikki had become a father over twenty-five years earlier.

In some ways, having been the most recent action, the kiss was as memorable as if it just happened that same day. The moment that his lips came together with Tommy’s, that old familiar scent and taste came rushing back like a tidal wave filled with explosive passion. Nikki immediately felt himself getting hard, and all of those stuffed-down feelings rushed back in. Simply put, there was no denying that Tommy meant something to him… that he was desired and alluring… that he was Nikki’s Achilles’ heel.

Yet, those feelings didn’t stop him from informing Tommy that he wasn’t willing to go any further. Despite some rocky times, one thing was clear from that moment, they were going to be best friends for life, but that was all that they would be. Nikki was determined not to go back to their old ways from their younger days. Disappointment was evident on Tommy’s face, but he never gave Nikki any grief over it. Instead, he was just full of little ploys to test the waters, things like social media posts calling Nikki his gay lover and second wife to get a reaction. And, as of a few hours earlier, an attempt to lure him into reading fictional sexual plots starring the two of them.

Nikki picked up his phone and glanced at the darkened screen. He tapped it on, scanned himself in, and pulled up an internet search bar. There was a compulsion to see what the fanfiction thing was all about. But where to even look? Nikki wasn’t aware of such things and had not even the slightest idea of how and where to search for stories. As he sat there and thought about what to type into the search bar, he heard snickering coming from a few rows back. It was Tommy and John. 

No… Nikki wasn’t gonna be party to that. It was fucked up…. really fucked up. What could possibly compel people to write stories like that? Were gay men writing the stories? Who would want to even read them? A sex tape with Tommy and his ex-wife was one thing… a genre that both gay or hetero men and women could enjoy, simply by eyeballing their preference. But, gay smut writing about rock stars? How could that even be a thing?

Nikki put his phone down, then shifted towards the window, choosing to take advantage of the little bit of quiet time he had left before the plane landed. Well… that was only if he could tune out Tommy’s and John’s annoying banter. They sounded like two silly teenage girls covertly reading a Harlequin romance novel together.

He pulled the blanket up, covering his head as if it were a hood, then shut his eyes.

“That was pretty steamy, man,” John whispered.

“Fuck… dude, I swear, I think I need to go hide out in the bathroom for a while if you know what I mean,” Tommy quietly replied.

Stifled laughter ensued.

“Be back in a bit.”

Nikki could hear Tommy rising from his seat, and could only wonder what they just read that forced his buddy into the privacy of the bathroom. He palmed his phone once more, fraught with temptation, when suddenly the PA system crackled to life announcing Def- Crüe ’s pending arrival in Bogota in twenty minutes. 

The others in the plane stirred to life upon being woken up by the announcement, or at least given the signal that curfew was officially over, and it was time to rise, shine, and fill the space with chatty small talk, the rustle of garbage being crunched up, and carry-on belongings being collected and packed up. Nikki sighed as he released his phone once again, exchanging a friendly smile with John's wife, as she passed by, presumably returning to her original seat. Feeling guilty, as if she somehow knew exactly what he was considering, that was his sign that he should just leave it well and good alone.

—-----

Three days later, backstage dressing area at the Bogota show - 

Nikki sat at his travel vanity applying stage makeup.

“ Heh … how is that position even possible?” Tommy snickered.

“Wait… I think maybe if you do this, it could work,” John answered.

Nikki refused to even turn around to see what moronic pose John twisted himself into in an attempt to recreate positioning in a fanfiction sex scene. His fist clenched with irritation which caused his eyeliner pencil to snap in two. “Fuck!”

“Y’alright?” Tom inquired, sitting on a couch with John across the dressing room.

“No! I’m not alright. Will you fucking knock it off already,” Nikki snarled, as he finally turned around to face his friends. “Don’t you have some makeup to put on, John? Maybe find a shirt that doesn’t have a stain, Tom?”

At that moment Vince joined them in the dressing room. “I didn’t know we were playing at Bitchfest 2023. What’s all this yelling about??”

“Why it’s nothing, Vincey,” Tommy said in a high voice, batting his eyelids and locking his fingers together then pressing them outward, with a shoulder popped up, like a coy maiden might do.

“What’d you call me?” Vince snapped. “Don’t call me that.”

“Aw, darling, but you’re just such a sweet thang,” John quipped, pressing his index finger into his cheek to suggest a cute dimple.

“You make me blush so hard,” Tommy added, still using the higher tone of voice.

“Have you started eating mushrooms again?” the singer inquired.

“Don’t mind them,” Nikki warned, as his jaw clenched. “And they should both be getting ready instead of sitting there being stupid.” The bassist was fairly certain that the pair of dopes were emulating a scene from one of the fanfiction stories.

Vince had a cautious look written across his face, as he stepped over to grab a bandana from his trunk. “I’m not sure what I just walked into, but none of y'all are sounding alright to me. I know that we’re in the land of coca leaves, but I suggest you stay out of the jungle.”

“What makes you think I’m hiiiigh, Neil?” Tommy squealed with delight, as he lifted his feet off the ground and kicked them out like an excited child.

“Dude, lay off whatever you’re on, and don’t call me Neil. That’s for those irritating journalists. I gotta meet with one right now.”

“Aw, Vincer… don’t go away mad. We love you sooo much!” John gloated.

Vince turned back to stare down Nikki. “What the hell is wrong with them? Seriously!? John doesn’t even drink, so what the fuck?”

“Don’t even ask, Vin. They’re high on a hearty dose of lunacy and have been doing nothing but annoying the fuck out of me for the last few days about some stupid storybook that they discovered online that only seems to amuse them. You’re not missing anything… trust me,” Nikki revealed.

“If you say so. I gotta jet for that quick interview. Later, man,” Vince huffed, as he quickly got the hell away from them all.

Nikki chucked his broken eyeliner pencil down on the vanity and stormed over towards his friends, whipping his knife out of his boot. “I don’t know what kind of fresh hell you’re looking at now, but don’t you dare tell him about this fanfiction shit. The last thing I want is Vince imagining that there’s something to it,” he barked while flashing his knife before their eyes.

Tommy covered his mouth to stifle his laughter, while John’s shoulders dropped, looking contrite. “I’m sorry, Nikki. I didn’t mean to make you feel comfortable in front of Vince. It’s just that we finally finished reading a story where everyone was written as if they were immature children stuck in adult bodies. It was kinda funny,” he said, reaching for his nearby guitar for comfort.

“You know, John… you’d make such a good sub. Look at you, a little shrinking violet, still wet behind the ears, trying to appease the knife-wielding, snarling daddy beast,” Tommy quipped.

Nikki scrubbed his face. “For the last time… leave me out of this, or you’re gonna experience fifty shades of murder. I don’t want to hear about any more of these stories. If you two are getting off on them, then by all means, go have your fun. But I don’t want to hear it, see it, or have to explain shit about it to people like Vince. No more! Got it!” 

Tommy eyeballed Nikki with a challenging gaze, while John nudged him. “C’mon, Tommy. Nikki’s serious… he’s made himself clear.” He directed his attention back to the bassist. “Sorry, we just let it get a little out of hand. I won’t bring it up in front of you again.”

“Sub,” Tommy snarked towards John, as he stood up, continuing to stare Nikki down until the bassist turned away and went back to his vanity.

—---------

Six days later - 

The bands and staff were back on the Def- Crüe jet leaving Santiago, Chile, and heading to their next destination in South America, São Paulo, Brazil. It was the second to the last show, and that was good news to Nikki, who was looking forward to getting back to the United States. While each and every show in Mexico and South America had been wild and exhilarating with stadiums chock full of mega fans, exuding an energy that was unmatched by the stateside shows in 2022, he was missing his family pretty badly. Usually, his bandmates and a few other close personnel helped make the time pass, keeping him distracted enough to enjoy all of the special moments and places that the tour cities had to offer, but Tommy, his best friend, and closest ally, was taken up by a new hobby, and roped in his other close friend John. The guitarist’s wife, Rita, had since returned to California after the show in Lima, Peru, which allowed even more time for John and Tommy to indulge in their newest vice, reading.

While Vince and Nikki were also good friends, they lacked a bit in common interests and verve. It was hard to put his finger on exactly what it was, but with John, and especially with Tommy, he just always had an indescribable connection. Deep inside he knew what it was, mutual attraction and absolute trust. But unfortunately, none of that mattered during that leg of the tour. Tommy and John had just slipped too far down the rabbit hole, deep into the fantasy world of silly fanfiction, which Nikki made clear that he wanted no part of. So they paired off and spent much of their free time laughing, marveling, and chatting about the myriad of gay smut stories written about themselves, constantly checking the website for new stories several times a day. 

Nikki was pretty much left to his own devices. Aside from working on strengthening bonds with the guys in Def Leppard and their band photographer Ross, Nikki spent much of his downtime on the streets with his Leica cameras. Click…

That night, on the plane, Nikki sat with Ross reviewing their photos and chatting about the sights they saw while in the city of Santiago.

“Can you imagine doing that?” John whispered to Tommy.

Although the two fanfiction freaks were two rows behind him, Nikki’s ears were perked towards them, with less of his attention towards Ross.

“I’d try it, dude… one hundred,” Tommy answered. “It’s only uncomfortable for a bottom.”

“Nikki?” Ross questioned.

Nikki suddenly snapped to attention, returning his focus back to the photographer. “Huh?”

“You seem a little distracted,” Ross chuckled. “I asked if you like this better in black & white or color,” he queried while clicking a button on his camera to switch back and forth between the two options.

“Oh, yeah… um, I’m always gonna choose black & white,” Nikki answered, not even caring to truly compare and contrast the two modes of the photo in question. 

“So you’d do it?” the drummer asked John

Upon hearing that, Nikki straightened himself up, affixing a tuned-in ear towards the conversation in the back. Do what? With each other? The bassist found himself tensing up with bitterness, as he did his best to hone in with even greater intention.

“You know me… why not,” the guitarist quietly revealed.

Tommy chuckled. “You kinky bastard. What if…”

“Nikki?”

Nikki found himself being lightly shaken by Ross, missing out on Tommy’s full response to John. He shook his head clear. “Ah, shit. I’m sorry… It's been a long day.”

“No problem, friend. Get some sleep, ‘kay,” the photographer said, as he stood up, and made his way toward the front of the plane.

Nikki scrubbed his face. He was tired, but he also had an unexpected pit forming in his stomach, as it occurred to him that his best friend, Tommy was slipping away into John’s arms. It seemed to be the two of them versus Nikki, and the bassist knew that it was no one’s fault but his own. It wasn’t even about the bond over the fanfiction, although that was certainly giving them ideas of things to do with each other, at least that was what Nikki perceived to be the case. But he knew the emerging fissure was more about his reluctance to give Tommy what he really wanted, while John was perfectly willing to do so.

Both Nikki and Tommy had an established friendship with John 5 many years before he joined Mötley Crüe after Mick announced his retirement from touring. Asking John into the band was a no-brainer, not only because he was a guitar virtuoso, but because of the pre-existing friendships with Nikki and Tommy, as well as a positive, working relationship with Vince and their manager Allen. 

Nikki didn’t know how deep Tommy’s relationship with John really went, he could only surmise based on his own friendship with John, and his awareness of Tommy’s known penchant for male companionship. To Nikki, John was just that cool-as-fuck buddy who loved Mötley Crüe , and who loved music just as much as he did. They also had an obvious coquettish bend towards each other… sort of a playful flirtation, of which neither ever affirmed with the other, but just dispensed freely without rancor or consequence. 

Tommy, on the other hand, and as expected, was more vocal and open about his flirtatious intentions towards men. Nikki lost count of how many times Tommy announced on social media that he was gay or bisexual. Being married to a beautiful lady, most followers must have assumed Tommy was joking or being all-out maniacal. And some for sure just assumed he was drunk or high, spewing controversial comments. What they seemed to miss was that his wife regularly called out the same things on social media, for both him and herself. She was a special, one-of-a-kind match for Tommy, and there they both were hollering from a mountaintop that they were a bi-sexual couple. And that would have most likely been a very convenient thing for John 5 to know, since he too, was much more open about his gender fluidity, having admitted to certain behaviors while in some of his prior bands.

Nikki couldn’t just be like that, though. While his own lovely wife was once made aware, by his own admission, that he had experimented a little bit with Tommy in the past while high on drugs, he spared her the sordid details, and never brought it up again. While her reaction was understanding and congenial, he felt embarrassed after sharing and never tested the waters again to find out her true level of willingness to understand or accept the behavior, or her lack of understanding. Therefore, whenever his wife was around, he was always intentional about the words he used when talking with or about Tommy, as well as containing any questionable physical actions towards the drummer, as to not have her raising eyebrows, and left wondering if perhaps feelings for Tommy lingered.

Of course, he could have continued his involvement with Tommy in secret, even though Nikki vowed never to cheat on his wife. But, did Tommy really count as cheating? It was just messing around and part of a fuck-up lifestyle. But it really didn’t matter anyway, as he had stopped almost all intimacies with the drummer years ago, with the exception of that kiss five years earlier. A kiss that kept him awake at night, and thinking about at random times throughout those five years. The desire was alive and well.

Nikki cocked his head again after hearing laughter from behind him.

“He’s being so overly toxic with his puffed-up masculinity that he scared off Ross,” Tommy snickered.

“Don’t say that, man. He just doesn’t like those stories, and has been grumbly about it,” John reasoned.

“I know,” the brunet said, sounding sorry. “His bad attitude is just getting to me.”

Nikki bristled over that dig about Ross. It was suggested that Ross had a pinch of sugar in his tank, and often, through the years, Tommy and Nikki would tease him mercilessly about it just to see the photographer squirm. Ross had the last word though when he revealed in Nikki’s book that he thought that Tommy and Nikki would make the perfect gay couple. The drummer was highly amused and suggested to Nikki that maybe Ross was onto something valid, but of course, Nikki shut down the very notion of it, even though he chose to leave the quote in his book instead of editing it out. That’s when things were easier and more lighthearted. Nikki wasn’t sure exactly what changed, but he was pretty certain that his newfound jealousy over Tommy bonding with John 5 over fanfiction stories was at the crux of it. 

The bassist slouched down in his seat. He knew he was pushing away his best friend in all ways possible, but he wasn’t about to break up their hearty party back there… at least not in front of an entire plane full of friends and colleagues who knew nothing of their past history, and current trials. The best thing for Nikki to do at that moment was to pull his blanket up and get some shut-eye.

—

It was about ninety minutes later when Nikki stirred in his seat, once again sensing that someone was sitting next to him. When he opened his eyes and regained some of his bearings, he saw that it was Tommy. His friend was pressed up against him, fast asleep, actively leaking a considerable amount of drool onto Nikki’s chest.

Nikki didn’t know what led Tommy to his side, but it felt good to have him and his drool spot there, despite the strife that seemed to be developing between them. He reached with his free arm, the one that Tommy wasn’t half crushing underneath the dead weight of his unconscious body, and with his fingers, instinctively massaged his friend’s scalp through his hair. 

Tommy stirred, shifting slightly. Letting out a sleepy groan, he mumbled, “Love you, Nik,” as he wiped away the sticky drool from the corner of his mouth with the back of his wrist.

Nikki smiled, moving his hand to the back of Tommy’s neck, which he lightly massaged to lull him back to sleep. “Love you, too,” he whispered. 

A few minutes later, he pulled his hand away and reached for his phone. Nikki flicked the screen on, and before proceeding, he checked to make sure that Tommy was asleep…. he was.

It took Nikki a few seconds to remember the right word, Archive . He typed it into a search bar on his phone. He couldn’t remember the rest of the name of the website that both Tommy and John mentioned to him, during their attempts to manipulate Nikki into reading the stories, so he then typed in the word fanfiction. And there it was in the results… Archive of Our Own.

Frustrated with trying to type one-handedly, Nikki managed to free his trapped hand, just enough to be able to use it to hold his phone while he typed with the other. Nikki Sixx, he tapped into the search tool. And very quickly a flood of Nikki Sixx stories popped up. He took a shaky breath, feeling somewhat overwhelmed to see his own name being used in stories, many stories, as he scrolled down… many, upon many. 

He glanced at summaries, tags, slashes, and warnings. None of them were making much sense. All of them being information overload. After taking a few minutes to capture the feel of the scroll and the meaning of the tags on the fanfiction website, he narrowed his eyes in search of a particular tag, Tommy Lee/Nikki Sixx. 

After taking a quick look around to see if he was being watched by anyone, he hunkered down in his seat, mindful to not wake Tommy, and clicked on a short story. As his eyes adjusted to the font, the flow of the story began to take form. And soon a cheeky, little smirk crawled upon Nikki’s face.

—------

Chapter Text

A few days later, Def- Crüe flew the bands into Buenos Aires, Argentina for their last show of that leg of the tour, which was in two days.

Tommy stood in the hallway of their hotel, knocking on John’s door.

“Hey,” John answered. “Ya ready?”

“Yeah,” Tommy said in lackluster fashion, as he stepped into the room.

“Nikki? Is he coming with us?” the guitarist asked.

“Nah… but he asked us to bring him something back. Something typical to the local cuisine, like the barbecue with sides.”

“Bummer,” John frowned. “Did he say why he wasn’t coming out to dinner with us?” he asked, reaching for his ever-present guitar, who would be his date for the night.

Tommy shrugged. “I dunno… he’s just holed up in his damn hotel room with his laptop open. Said he’s working on a new project, and that he just needed to get the ideas out and organized while they were ripe in his head. It’s been like three days of the same shit, just a different place. Although, he did say that he was close to wrapping it up, and might be free to hang out with us tomorrow,” he relayed with a meek shrug. “I hope that wasn’t just lip service.”

“I saw him at breakfast. He seemed in good spirits, overall. We talked, laughed, ate,” John replied, also with an accompanying shrug. “If anything, I think that he’s just missing his family.”

“I know. Ever since I stopped teasing him about the fanfiction stories, he’s been pretty cool. But…” Tommy added, bumping his shoulders up in question, again. “I don’t know,” he brooded. “I guess he’s back to being normal and pleasant, but I just can’t shake the feeling that he’s been avoiding me, when possible.”

“I doubt it. You know that way he gets when an idea comes to him, he buckles down and susses it out until it’s up and running. Or until he decides to kill the idea. Man, I’d like to see Nikki’s circular file of all of the ideas he killed over the years. I bet there’d be some good stuff in there,” the guitarist said, stroking his fuzzy chin.

“I know him well. I’d be more afraid to know what deranged scraps have been tossed into his pile of garbage,” Tommy sighed. “Whether he keeps this current shit he’s working on or trashes it, I just… I don’t know. He needs to just finish it the fuck up. Whatever,” he resigned, seemingly giving up on the troubling issue with a toss of his hand. “It’s all good. Hey, are you sure you’re okay with the Argentinian barbecue restaurant?” he asked, changing the topic.

“I’m good with whatever. Rice and beans, depending on how they’re prepared. Or a salad,” John, the vegan, answered, as he looked at the time. “Vince should be ready in about fifteen minutes. I think Joe and Rick Allen are joining us, too. C’mon, sit down… I saw a new one-shot pop up. Let’s take a look,” John grinned. He dropped his smile when he saw Tommy staring at him with an arched eyebrow. “What?”

“I said it before, I’m going to say it again… sub,” Tommy remarked, as he jabbed a finger towards his friend.

“Huh?”

The drummer chuckled. “We’re about to eat at one of the meatiest restaurants around, and you’re all happy about munching on mere rabbit food for dinner.”

“Well… I’ll manage. I just don’t want to be a buzzkill since everyone else– ”

“You just proved my point,” Tommy stated, cutting John off mid-sentence. “Now come on, let’s read.”

“I hope you get your ass beaten in this story,” the guitarist uncharacteristically spat. 

“There’s hope. The tags say Bottom Tommy ,” the drummer laughed.

John joined his laughter. “Just wanna see ya smiling again. Everything is gonna be cool. Now let’s see if we can squeeze this in before Vince arrives.”

—---------

Throughout dinner, as skewered meats that were cooked over coals were brought to the hungry rock stars’ table, along with a variety of side dishes, Tommy couldn’t get his mind off of Nikki. The bassist’s absence bothered him more than he let on.

The fanfiction had kind of been putting Tommy in a rare mood with both ups and downs. The ups were good, really good, which was why he couldn’t seem to peel himself away from the stories. Nikki had always been the apple of his eye since he had known him. Sexy, edgy, fun, brilliant, and fine as fuck. Those drug and alcohol-fueled early days were nothing but pure indulgence for Tommy, as he and his best friend took a liking to getting it on with each other.

And just when the physical things between them seemed to be waning by the mid-‘80s, they took an unexpected turn one night when they drunkenly had sex with each other. Then more times after getting clean, which got Tommy super excited, realizing that Nikki was into him even without the cloudy judgment of drugs and alcohol directing their actions. He and Nikki were begging for sex with each other just solely because of physical attraction and it felt so damn good. 

Unfortunately for Tommy, it all stopped when Nikki had kids. And it was something that he never got over. The good news was that it was evident through flirting that Nikki was still into him, but it was bad news that nothing more ever happened. It bummed him out that Nikki chose to stick to some moral high ground about it. Over the years, Tommy had experimented with a few other men, but none ever gave him the same satisfaction that Nikki did. 

Then there was that kiss in 2018 after reuniting after a difficult time apart, their relationship had been strained partially from the rigors of touring, but mostly from a vicious rift that occurred between Nikki’s wife, and Tommy’s then-girlfriend. Lines were drawn, and it wasn’t until after Tommy and that girlfriend parted ways that reconciliation with Nikki could even be considered. But that sexy, hungry kiss that resulted from it made the wait worth it. Tommy hoped for more… much more, but it never came. But at least the friendship was back, and as strong as ever, as the band biopic was in the works and life was being breathed back into Motley Crue.

Tommy had hung all hopes on that heated kiss… especially in 2019 when Nikki initiated talks with him about the band firing up again with a new tour. Unfortunately, other than some sweet talking and getting a little handsy during meet-ups for planning, no further intimacy occurred. And of course, the eventual COVID pandemic further compounded the lack of togetherness, as well as Nikki’s decision to move out of California. It all kind of bummed Tommy out. One step forward, three steps back. But, despite all those delays and setbacks, not only for the tour, but their renewed friendship, 2022 carried great promise. There was good camaraderie and lots of fun, but Nikki never crossed that chance line again that Tommy spent years dreaming about.

Eventually, in stepped John 5 at the completion of the stateside tour when Mick announced his plan to retire. John became a nice distraction for Tommy. The guitarist was easygoing, fun to be around, and best of all, totally playing into Tommy’s flirty and naughty side. No, John wasn’t Nikki, his end-all, the grand prize, but the younger guitarist introduced a carefree vibe back into the band that they didn’t even realize was lacking. Among Tommy, Nikki, and John, they were all aware of flirtations and possible intimate connections between any two of them at any time within the many years that they had known each other, but none of those things were really discussed by any of them, except Tommy and John, who were both open to each other about their attraction to Nikki, and were both frustrated by the bassist’s rebuffs.

So, that’s why complete captivation took hold with the discovery of fanfiction stories. They added some zing and pizazz into an unsustained fantasy. Essentially it was porn without the picture, but the words still made the visualization of the sexual acts easier to imagine. It was definitely not a substitute for the real thing, but it did help to relieve some of the appetite and longing for it.

However, it wasn’t all peaches and cream. No matter how one looked at it, it was still a bit unnerving and almost intrusive to feel like your personal life was being exploited in a story. Some writers nailed their traits and language, while others were way off, sometimes purposely for the art of the story, and sometimes because younger writers seem to like to make them more relatable to their twenty-first century, zoomer lives. But absolutely no writer could capture it all. How could they when it was hard enough to understand your own self at times? 

Going back to peaches and cream , the smutty stories were all that. But many stories had heavy, emotional aspects written in. It was difficult sometimes to relive some of those difficult times through a story. Yeah, the actual details of the hard times were always amiss, but some of the emotions described were spot on. After laughing and teasing Nikki about Ross on the plane, Tommy was slapped in the face with an emotional story that cut straight to the heart, piercing it. Nothing was really funny anymore, and he had wondered if he carried things too far, and upset Nikki, just like in the story he had just read. He felt really bad and had to make amends for his stupid comments earlier.

That’s what led Tommy to bid John a good night, and move up a few seats curl up next to Nikki as they jetted through the night sky towards São Paulo several days earlier. Sex and hormones had nothing to do with that closeness that Tommy sought out that night. It was all about trust, comfort, and thankfulness that they were both still healthy, happy, and alive. It was after that Tommy decided to stop taunting and coaxing Nikki about the fanfiction in an attempt to spark his interest. The stories became somewhat of a hindrance in that it was putting a noticeable wedge between him and Nikki. Yet, the fictional tales were also a good reminder that their enduring friendship needed nurturing and compassion above all.  

Tommy was removed from his thoughts when laughter erupted at the dinner table. Someone was telling jokes, reminding the drummer that he needed to be back in the moment, enjoying that amazing dinner with amazing people. Life was good. Life was perfect. He had to pull his head out of the clouds and not allow the fiction to overshadow his real-life experiences. “Hey! Here’s to a kick-ass tour, good friends, and good times,” Tommy interjected, as he raised his glass for a timely toast. 

—-------------

Later that same night, after dinner - 

Tommy knocked on Nikki’s hotel door. “It’s room fucking service!” he yelled.

Nikki answered, pulling the door open wide enough for Tommy to enter. “Come on in. How was the restaurant?”

“Fucking awesome shit, man. John ate a carrot, but me and the rest of the guys have had some of the best barbecue we’ve ever experienced.”

“Sweet… I hope you brought some back for me.”

“Sure did… John’s leftovers,” Tommy chuckled.

Nikki clicked his tongue, not believing it, as he held his hand out for the bag. 

“Joking… it’s the barbecue. I’m sure you can smell it through the bag. But just know it’s not the same as the experience, and it’s cold by now,” Tommy responded, handing Nikki the take-home bag.

“It’ll do,” Nikki smiled, as he took the food from his friend. “Um, so I finished up with that project I was working on. So, I’m gonna eat, shower, and call my wife before it gets too late… then maybe we can hang out? Or if it’s too late, you got me all day tomorrow.”

“It’s about time,” Tommy griped, yet with a smile on his face, feeling like some positivity had been restored by that comment.

“Sorry, man, it was important stuff. I had to get it down while the inspiration was there.”

“You’re forgiven,” the drummer responded, as he awkwardly swung his arms at his side. “So,” he said, clapping his hands together. “I’m just gonna head down to John’s room to chill for a while. Come on down when you’re ready. Maybe we can find a movie with subtitles.”

“I will. Um, hope to see you later…hm…”

“M’kay, alright. Later, peace,” Tommy said, leaving, catching a weird vibe from Nikki’s last statement.

—----------

Back in John’s room, Tommy flopped down on the bed. 

“What’s Nikki up to?” John asked.

“Uh, he’s gonna eat and shower, then hopefully come down to hang with us. He’s done with his work.”

“Hey, that’s awesome!”

“Yeah… although he seemed a little off… like, I don’t know. Just weird.”

“Upset?”

“No, not at all… he was totally cool. Just… like, uptight, I guess. But not as in being upset, as in seeming anxious about something,” Tommy answered.

John shrugged. “I think you’re just looking too hard for something wrong… you know, after being worried that you upset him.”

“I suppose… I just hope he doesn’t bail.”

“I hope not either, but we have something to keep us occupied,” John announced, waving his phone in his hand. “There are three new stories on the feed since we last checked before dinner. One is multi-chapter, so that’s out. One is that writer who had you and Nikki at an amusement park, and the other one is a new writer.”

“No time for multi-chapters. The amusement park one was kinda dumb. What’s the summary for the new one?”

“Uhh… hold on…” John said as he tapped on his phone screen. “It says, Nikki has regrets. He came up with an idea to fix things. It might possibly be the dumbest thing he’s ever done. But if it works, it might just be his most genius moment… well, other than putting together Motley Crue. It’s a Tommy/Nikki story, but wait a minute… oh shit, I’m in it, too! Although, tagged individually. In the other tags, it has the 2023 Stadium Tour and South America . This could be interesting. Some writers are on point with these real-time stories. It’s kinda cool because I get to make an appearance in this one. What’d ya think? I wanna read this one.”

“I guess,” Tommy said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “What’s it called, and who’s the writer?”

“Life Is Stranger Than Fiction… No, It’s Better Than Fiction by Jack_Sixx,” John answered. “It’s right on the top of the feed.”

“Okay, I got it. Let’s read.”

—-------

… I did it again. I fucked things up. As I sat in my seat on our touring jet, dubbed Def- Crüe , I could hear them laughing behind me. As usual, my paranoid self had to wonder if it was about me. I knew John was too polite to laugh at my expense, but Tommy… nothing was beyond him to find a way to garner my attention, any attention, no matter how shitty my response was, as long as it was something … … …

Tommy continued to read, and after a few more minutes, he got to his feet and started to amble around the room. “This is weird, man. I swear… it’s kinda like stuff that’s going on with the actual tour.”

“I see what you mean. It’s kind of eerie. Maybe, in this case, the fiction is stranger than life?” John quipped with a smile, seemingly pleased with his apropos reverse figurative saying.

Tommy ignored the comment as he continued to read while pacing, absent-mindedly rubbing his hand through his hair as a means of keeping himself grounded. 

…. Tommy was just who I needed in my life. He was more than a best friend, he was my madness and my sanity, my chaos and my calm, my aversion and my passion. It wasn’t long, after we met, that we discovered that passion. While it was tainted with the scent of Quaaludes, Jack Daniels, and Captain Morgan, we both wore it all over ourselves like a second skin… … … 

The drummer continued on with the story, as a kaleidoscope of butterflies released in his gut.

… … … sometime during the Theatre of Pain tour, it was a mixture of weed, blow, and alcohol that rendered me on all fours with Tommy’s colossal cock in my virgin ass, as it caused my eyes to roll back so far in my head that I could see my brain stem, which was in the process of liquefying with the rest of central nervous system, from head to toe… … …

Another minute later, Tommy asked, “Um, John? How far have you read? I’m where it’s talking about the old days, and the stuff that Nikki and I used to do.”

“Uh, I think I’m quite a bit past that.”

“Normally, I would be, too, but… fuck, John… I’m reading lines over and over. It’s too close… too close to things that happened and the way they happened. I mean, like me and Nikki fucking around in the early day, then not again until Theatre, when we… uh, well… um, did more, I guess you can say. I swear… this is someone who knows something about us.”

John lowered his phone. “Maybe, man… you know better than me,” he chuckled.

“I don’t know, dude. It’s crazy, but this is just the most accurate version of events that we’ve read so far, both with the past reflections and the current storyline.”

“Weirder things have happened, or maybe you’re just insane.”

“I don’t know…lemme just continue,” Tommy resolved, waving John off with his hand.

… … … My final meaningful physical moment with Tommy was merely a kiss, but it was far from simple and trite. In fact, one of the most complex moments of my friendship with Tommy. I was led by instincts, and once our lips met, I was driven by the fiery heat that I felt coming off of him, as well as his Marlboro-scented breath that I learned to seek out and find comfort in, like an old, worn-out band tee from two decades ago…

“It’s the kiss! It’s the damn kiss! I told you about that, John! I’m telling you right now, this is Nikki behind this alias,” Tommy blathered, as he looked back at the screen. 

John stayed silent, just cracking a sly smile, as Tommy continued on with the story.

…As I attempted to lick up all of his pulsing hormones buzzing in his mouth, my mind went on a trip to our past. To the time when I screamed out from my first prostate orgasm in some nondescript hotel room in some cookie-cutter city, then back even further to our early days when we were high and drunk and on a covert mission to hunt for pussy, under the guise of Jack and Captain, our nicknames pinched from our favorite bottle labels… only to turn the women away after a brief romp, to finish the night off between ourselves…

“John! John! Oh my god, John! It’s definitely Nikki! I know it is… one hundred percent. No one else would know about Jack and Captain. No one! This is Nikki! Why!? What does this mean!? What should I do?” Tommy screeched, as he paced wildly, pulling at his hair. “This is what the bastard has been doing for the past three days! He’s fucking with me through fanfiction!”

“Dude, my dude… breathe,” John urged, as he too got to his feet, to grip Tommy on his biceps to stop him from ambling aimlessly around the room. “As you were over-analyzing every word, I finished it. Take a deep breath, and finish reading it… do it now… trust me.”

“What does he want? How does it end?”

John let go then turned to pick up Tommy’s cigarettes and lighter that he dropped on the nightstand earlier.

“John… tell me what to do,” Tommy pleaded, his voice shaky.

 The guitarist put one of the cigarettes to his lips, and lit it.

“Wha… what are you doing? You don’t smoke,” Tommy questioned, just as John pulled the Marlboro from his lips, and placed the filtered end at the freaked-out drummer’s lips, as he exhaled a puff of smoke.

Tommy took hold of it himself, and sucked in the soothing smoke, as John coughed out what little bit he took in. “Thanks, man. I can’t even think right now. Holy shit… holy shit,” he said with a shudder.

“Read it,” the guitarist urged, as he continued to cough, reaching for his water bottle.

“Okay, ‘kay… is it a good ending?” Tommy asked earnestly.

John smirked. “Find out for yourself.”

Tommy took a deep breath and picked up where he left off. He read through Nikki’s decision not to pursue anything beyond the kiss, and why he chose that route. Then onto the next passage.

… I was beginning to feel that I made the right decision when it appeared that Tommy found a great person to be his perfect sidekick. John was a friend to both of us, but it appeared to me that Tommy and John had much more in common than I had with either one. There’s no animosity along with that realization, but I just suddenly felt old and boring, and John had so much more to offer my best friend. I thought that it was the right thing to do, even though my soul was grieving the loss, but Tommy couldn’t have been put into better hands… and it was gonna be for the best in the long run. With a resigned exhale, I shut my eyes and allowed myself to drift off to sleep as the plane continued on its journey…

… My sleep was restless. While I kept trying to convince myself that everything was alright and was shaping up to have the best possible outcome for what seemed like a smart solution to what had always been an impossible situation. But I wasn’t anywhere near alright. That’s when I realized that things were not resolved by any stretch of the means. How could it be when all I felt was the burden of envy and loss? It was clear… I still wanted Tommy. What made me think that resolution was as simple as casting him off to another friend when even after years of shunning intimacy with him, I still fantasized about it. I always would…

… I felt lonely. It was neither Tommy’s nor John’s fault. It was my own for drawing that line in the sand that couldn’t be crossed. Even as my head swam with regrets, I still managed to capture a little sleep, thanks to running my ass up and down the stage for the wild crowd of fans in Santiago. I was spent in all ways possible. As my body fought to relax and restore itself, I was awakened by a presence next to me. It was Tommy, asleep on my side. I can’t explain it, but that smallest of gestures suddenly made everything feel right again. I was restored. It’s all I needed… to know that I was still relevant to Tommy, despite my resistance to his desires…

… So here I am, in my hotel room, trying to figure out how to proceed. A crazy idea occurred to me while I sat on the plane with Tommy sleeping at my side. But before I share my idea, I should backtrack a little. Earlier, I purposely left off why Tommy and John were laughing while seated behind me on the airplane. They were laughing because of you. Yeah, you read that right… you, dear readers and writers. While on this tour, Tommy happened to stumble upon your fetish, you sick fanfiction fucks…

… I don’t really understand it. At first, I was peeved and wanted nothing to do with it. I mean, how could anyone, in good conscience, dissect my life and place me in bizarre or messed-up situations? On the other hand, I suppose there’s an iota of truth in some of the stories… and I have to admit that a few made me laugh, too. Some because they were so ridiculous, others because a few of you are clever little beings.  So, yeah, as I sat next to my sleeping buddy, Tommy, I caved and checked it out for myself. A handful of you are confirmed batshit nuts, and some of you almost feel a bit like a kindred spirit in capturing my essence, at the very least. I’m not condoning what any of you do, but I’m not as peeved as I was initially. That said, you can all have at it… match me up with whoever, and do your thing. I know I saw enough, and I saw just what I needed to see to finally help myself make a decision….

… Tommy, my insane, yet most treasured friend, I know you’re reading this fucking shit. I know you’re becoming unhinged, right now, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Maybe I could have just told you to your face how much I need more of you in my life, but you had some fun at my expense, and now it’s my turn, you little shit…

…Yeah, this is exactly what I was doing for the last three days. Making an account, waiting to be accepted by the admins, writing this shit-ass story on my laptop, all while making you squirm… much to satisfaction, fucker. So now, here’s my proposal… after checking out a few stories on Archive Of Our Own for myself, I liked a few of the smooth moves that fictional Tommy made towards fictional me. You’re gonna start by putting your damn phone in your pocket, come down to my door, and when I answer, I want you to pin me up against the wall to continue with that steamy kiss that we last left off at… five years ago. Please, baby…

…After that, everyone reading this can fuck off. It’s none of your damn business what we do next. But trust me when I tell you that I got it all planned out. Now, Tommy, get your fucking ass down to my room. I’m waiting. Oh, and don’t read the next scene until I tell you that you can…

“Oh shit… John! What do I do? Is this for real!?!?” Tommy blared, pacing the floor like he was being paid to do so.

“No one else could have known these details. Not a chance. Go… he’s waiting for you.”

“I should shower… oh my god! I should–”

“No, just go,” John urged, as he attempted to physically shuttle Tommy towards the door.

“Wait! I gotta at least scrub my ass and sweaty balls. It was fucking hot during dinner. Brush my teeth. God! I can’t believe this!”

“Tom, I don’t think he gives a shit. He likes your smoky breath. Go get your man.”

“What are you gonna do!?”

“Do you even have to ask? My baby is with me twenty-four-seven,” John answered, reaching for his prized Telecaster. “And I’m sure my other baby is game for phone sex. Now stop stalling, with stupid questions. Just fucking go already.”

“Okay, okay,” Tommy resolved, as he stepped towards the door.

“Tommy!”

“What?” the drummer asked, turning back towards the guitarist.

“Quick reality check… what are you supposed to do when you get there?”

“Um…” Tommy pondered, looking like a deer in headlights. “I um… what?”

“Breathe… what did he want you to do to him?”

Tommy nodded, seeming to remember. Letting out a shaky breath, he said, “Kiss… uh, against the wall. He called me baby,” he muttered, his shock evident.

“Right on, bro. Now gather yourself and make it count.”

“Okay, I got this,” Tommy affirmed, as he twisted the door knob and stepped out into the hallway, turning back to his friend once more. “What if he didn’t write it? What if–”

John answered the question by sporting his signature ax-murderer grin while slamming the door on Tommy’s face.

A moment later, the drummer stood in front of Nikki’s hotel door, taking deep breaths, while feeling a mixture of nerves, confusion, and excitement. Push him against the wall, push him against the wall, he chanted in his head. Your baby is here. Please don’t fucking kill me if I’m wrong, or if this is some kind of well-crafted joke. He knocked.

Tommy heard a rattling of the chain being unfettered and the knob twisting, and before he could muster another thought, feeling weak in the knees, he was standing face-to-face with Nikki.

“Can I help you?” Nikki asked.

“I think so,” the brunette responded while stepping in, taking a quick moment to close the door behind him. He turned back towards this best friend of forty-two years, then without warning, took hold of him by his biceps, pushing him with force against a nearby wall, then assaulted Nikki with an impassioned kiss.

—-----

About a half hour later, Nikki was sitting on Tommy’s lap, facing out. His legs spread apart over the drummer’s, riding his cock with his back pressed up against Tommy’s chest. 

“Baby, I can’t…” Nikki gasped, as he squeezed Tommy’s hips, using them as leverage to help move himself.

“Can’t what?” the younger one asked, keeping his strong grip on Nikki’s waist to help him stay perched. 

“Been so long,” the bassist wheezed. “Just feels so good… I’m not in control of myself… I’m not,” he panted out.

Tommy responded by wrapping his arms around Nikki’s torso and kissing the back of his neck. “I got you. Let’s slow down like we’re making love. Relax into my frame,” he urged, as he tried to calm his friend by firmly massaging his sternum.

Nikki leaned his head back on Tommy’s shoulder. “My body doesn’t know what to do,” he murmured.

“Relax, lover. Just let yourself go.”

“Don’t wanna… I want it to last.”

“How about a different position?” Tommy asked, while still holding Nikki close to him, as he did his best to roll his hips with the heavy bass player weighing down his lap.

“No… just like this. I don’t want to lift myself off of you. Make it last,” Nikki whimpered, as his body started to tremble.

“I’m disciplined in edging, so I can make it last, but I don’t know if you can,” Tommy snickered, biting his bottom lip to stifle his amusement.

All Nikki could do that moment was whine and moan, as he grinded his bottom on Tommy’s hard cock. “I’m gonna… I can’t hold it… it feels too good… oh god…” he tensed up while crying out as his orgasm ripped through his body.

“Oh fuck this sweet agony… I’m cumming,” Tommy mumbled, as he wrapped his arms even more snuggly around his trembly friend. “Fuck, Nikki!” he called, as his powerful release dropped him right into the center of paradise .

“Tom,” Nikki gasped, as his chest heaved with latent excitement. “Needed that. I needed it. Oh god, baby…”

“Just as much as I did. But you made me wait a really long time, dude.”

Nikki relaxed into Tommy’s hold. “Sheer stupidity on my part… I forced myself to forget what I was missing.”

“Don’t ever forget again. I will fucking hunt you like prey,” Tommy warned, as he breathed those words into Nikki’s ear.

“Never again… it’s a promise,” the bass player answered, as he started to move himself off of Tommy’s lap to a spot next to him on the bed.

“Are you okay? I hope I didn’t go too hard. It’s been so long, it’s like your first time bottoming all over again.”

Nikki rolled to his side to face Tommy, who was still on his back basking in his accomplishment. “If I’m honest, I’ve thought about this a lot through the years. I just… I don’t know. It just became easier to fight off the urge as time passed. It’s like working to stay sober. After a while, the cravings quell, and you feel empowered and equipped to keep saying no… until somebody lures you back in with a dangling carrot .”

Tommy chuckled. “The fanfiction stories got to you, huh?”

“Yeah, they woke me up. But, it’s nothing like breaking sobriety. This was a good streak to break,” Nikki said, smirking. “I know that I’m going to have to process this in the face of my committed marriage, as well as working through the reluctance to accept my bi-sexual preference… hmm,” he hummed. “Don’t let me retreat to safety. Help me find an excuse to keep this to keep it going. I don’t just like it. I think I need this type of release.”

“Dude, I think your fucking orgasm should be enough to keep you in the game,” the drummer mused, as he leaned over the side of the bed to root through his pile of clothing. 

“You might be right about that.”

“Fuck… I believe I left my smokes in John’s room. Fuck!!”

“Now, that’s a bad habit. C’mere, I got something better to calm you down,” Nikki beckoned to Tommy with a wiggle of his finger. “Kiss me.”

Tommy smiled. “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

—---------------

Fifteen minutes later, after a steamy make-out session, and a wipe-down, the pair lay on the mattress together checking their phones. Tommy’s right foot was shaking, which caused the entire bed to shake.

“Is this one of those vibrating beds that you drop a few quarters into?” Nikki asked.

“Nicotine fix, babe. In a bad way. I think I gotta go get them… but John’s gonna ask questions, and keep me there.”

“I know he knows… obviously. He read the story, too, right?” 

“He knows… he practically kicked me out of his room to get me down here,” Tommy answered.

“Were you having doubts?”

Tommy let out a humored huff. “Big time. I mean, I knew the writer had to be you, but I was still in disbelief. I was nervous that I was wrong.”

“I did everything I could to make sure there would be no question that it was me, Captain.”

“You did a good job, and aside from the accurate timeline of events, that was the clincher… Jack and Captain. No one could have known that or guessed. So it was more that this was so unexpected. I freaked out just a bit.”

“If it matters to you, I was on edge, too. There was no guarantee that you’d read it. I could have been waiting all night, only to be disappointed if you never showed up. Or maybe you were over me, and I misread you. I was also just as nervous, in general, to get the account and upload the story. I’m completely anonymous with a fake username and a new Gmail address with some nonsense name, but I’m still wondering if I somehow gave myself away.”

“Nobody could ever know,” Tommy shrugged. “And I never got over you. Not even for a minute.”

“Did you read the end?” Nikki asked.

“No, you warned me not to.”

“You can read it. I just didn’t want to give away too much before anything even happened.”

Tommy scrunched up his face and scrubbed it with both hands. “I’d love to finish it, but I really need to get my cigarettes.”

“Text John, and tell him to leave them by my door.”

Tommy pursed his lips. “What if he’s in bed?”

“It’s not even midnight. Text him, or I will,” Nikki demanded.

“You do it… he’ll blow me off, but he’ll cater to your every whim.”

“I wouldn’t know… you two have been joined at the hip recently, and mocking me, as well.”

“John and I are friends just as much as you and he are. We were just spending a lot of time together over the last two weeks because of the fanfiction. And to be honest, Nikki, he wasn’t dogging on you. It was just me. I just wanted your attention. ”

“I think that I kind of suspected that,” Nikki replied, putting his phone down, after sending John a message.

“And just so you know, we both read the stories because we both kinda have a massive crush on you… if that’s what it’s still called these days,” Tommy revealed with a submissive glance, as his head was tilted down.

“God only knows why,” Nikki laughed, as he checked his texts after getting a ding for a notification. 

“You used to be so conceited. Where’d your confidence go?” the drummer asked.

“It just drooped a little. Like everything else on my body.”

Tommy shook his head to disagree. “Don’t even go there with the woes of aging. I’m right there with you. And you and your ass couldn’t possibly look any finer than you do now. And don’t forget about all your fans. I mean, have you seen how smut stories exist with you… you’re a fucking fictional whore, man… sleeping with everyone across the globe.”

“I’d like to just stick with my inner circle. Two… ish”

“Me and your wife. Who’s the ish ?” Tommy asked, sporting a smirk.

“I dunno,” Nikki shrugged.

“It’s John, isn’t it? Don’t think that I haven’t noticed every single time you fucking flirt with him.”

“It’s just that…. flirting. I think I’m good, right where I am with two.”

“I can’t argue that. But you do know that he’d still do anything for you… or to you,” the drummer smirked. “You know there’s a story that has the three of us in it… like, doing stuff together… like on the same leg of this tour. The story is new.”

“I know, I’ve seen it.”

“Just sayin’,” Tommy snickered. “So, is John bringing my smokes by?”

“He said to give him a minute or two.”

“Lemme just ask, then. Would you ever consider it? Both of us? He and I have spoken about it–”

Tommy was interrupted by a rap on the door. “Special delivery!” a muffled voice spoke from the hallway.

Nikki gave Tommy an undefined look as he stood up from the bed. “Thanks, buddy! Just leave ‘em!” he answered without opening the door.

“You bet!” the voice sounded, as footsteps could be heard retreating.

Tommy sighed. “I guess that answers that.”

“What’s that sigh for?” Nikki begged to know, as he opened the door just enough to grab the pack of Marlboros and the lighter, then quickly shut it and locked it. “Don’t be so glum. You still got me.”

“I know,” the brunet said, biting his lip. “And I’m not glum… trust me. I just thought that–”

“Listen, baby, tonight is special. I want it to just be you and me, to make up for a lot of lost time,” Nikki said, as he came back to the bed and crawled back to his prior spot, handing Tommy his coveted item, as he dropped a kiss on his lips. “I need this time with you before considering bigger ventures. Besides… we have all day tomorrow for possible new ventures...  maybe even for your fucked up ideas. I planned it that way,” Nikki grinned. “We sleep in. Breakfast out somewhere. Maybe a little light exploring of the city, then back at the hotel until dinner. Plus, more time after dinner… dessert, you might say. We even have half the day to ourselves the following day.

Tommy was busy lighting up to get his fix, as Nikki laid out his plans for the next thirty-six hours. Blowing out a stream of much needed smoke, he said, “You go from hiding away, or doing your own thing with your photography, to planning out an hour by hour itinerary for not just yourself, but for me to follow.”

“I’m not even done yet. It’s now time for you to read the end of my story.”

“Will I like it?” Tommy responded, as he switched his cigarette to his other hand to pick up his phone.

“It’s just a wrap up. You and I can write the rest of the story together,” Nikki smiled.

Tommy bit on the tip of his tongue to stifle his giddiness, as he swiped and tapped his phone screen to bring up the website to finish reading.

…It’s been about an hour since Tommy and I had our time together. I can’t begin to tell you how rewarding it was. It would be even harder for me to explain how I held out for over thirty years without treating myself to all that Tommy had to offer.  And it’s funny… as I expressed earlier, I was pretty pissed off about this little hobby of yours, but there’s no telling how much longer I would have held out on Tommy if it weren’t for you and all of your stories, and his discovery of them. It would have been a damn shame if I never found out. I didn’t know how badly I was missing and needing my best friend, in all aspects of my life.

That said, this was the first and will also be the last story that you see from Jack_Sixx. My fanfiction writing career was a one-and-done, having fulfilled its intent and purpose. It’s now up to you, dear readers, to try to ponder who Jack_Sixx really is. Could the person behind the alias actually be the main character in this story, or just a very shrewd and clever writer? 

Don’t be surprised if a new writer named Captain_Lee jumps onto the bandwagon to give fanfiction writing a try. Maybe he’ll be cool enough to give you an update on our progress. As for me, I find great pleasure in knowing that you will never know for certain who wrote this story. My time here is done. This crazy idea of mine has accomplished what I had hoped it would. And now, I will bid you adieu and leave you with this… while life can be stranger than fiction, for me, it’s better than fiction. Much better. Good night.