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English
Series:
Part 1 of Empire For Two
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Published:
2024-08-15
Completed:
2024-08-19
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20,404
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4/4
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One Soul Abiding In Two Bodies

Summary:

"Ah, Merlin," Arthur said, looking up from his desk. "I expect you have my speech ready for tomorrow?"

Merlin nodded and approached the desk. He bowed his head as he put the scroll down then kept it bowed before moving back and standing in front of him.

Arthur, immediately, was suspicious.

"Merlin? Is something the matter?"

Merlin didn't answer, just keeping his head down.

Notes:

Title is from a quote by Aristotle: “A friend is one soul abiding in two bodies.”

This fic is attached to a series which will be done after 20 years at this point /hj because the next fic in the series is 60 fucking chapters. Thankfully, I have my lovely people Joan and Tristi to help write that... whenever it decides to get written.

On that note, this fic is also betaed by Joan (tumblr: tireddruid) who brings me endless delight with her comments ^^

Unlike my usual multichapter fics, I probably won't upload a chapter a day because honestly, I'm having a tough time with school right now.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: The Reveal

Chapter Text

"Ah, Merlin," Arthur said, looking up from his desk. "I expect you have my speech ready for tomorrow?"

Merlin nodded and approached the desk. He bowed his head as he put the scroll down then kept it bowed before moving back and standing in front of him.

Arthur, immediately, was suspicious.

"Merlin? Is something the matter?"

Merlin didn't answer, just keeping his head down.

"Merlin?" Arthur stood up, moving from his desk.

When he stopped in front of him, Merlin finally raised his head.

His eyes were puffy, face a mess of tears, lips wobbling and cheeks red.

"What happened?" Arthur demanded, dread settling in his insides. "Did something happen to Gwen?"

Merlin minutely shook his head.

"Gaius?"

He shook his head again.

"Gwaine? Lancelot? Any of the knights?"

Another shake.

Arthur paused for a second, thinking. "Your mother?"

Merlin closed his eyes and shook his head once more.

Suddenly, a sob escaped and Merlin bit down hard on his bottom lip, stifling the others.

Arthur was now really concerned. He had rarely seen Merlin act this way before.

"Merlin. What happened?" he ordered, using the authoritative voice he used in the throne room as king.

Merlin opened his eyes. He stared at Arthur, his face scrunching into an even more devastated look.

Arthur waited.

He knew Merlin. He knew that the man could ramble endlessly, talking Arthur's ear and sanity off. So him struggling to get the words out must mean that it was important. And most likely, not good.

Merlin's bottom lip trembled and something passed in his eyes. For a moment, Arthur thought he was going to say "Nothing" then turn and walk out the door while hiding his sobs.

But then Merlin spoke, and the words were far far worse.

"I'm a sorcerer."

His voice was small and incredibly shaky. Arthur could barely hear it.

"I have magic." He shook as he said it. "I was born with it."

He looked at Arthur in the eyes and they were glowing gold.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, almost mouthing the words.

Arthur stopped.

He moved back from Merlin. The back of his legs bumped against the desk. He swayed and leaned against it for support.

"I use it for you, Arthur," Merlin continued, his eyes turning blue again. "Only for you. Only to protect you. To save your life."

It was like he had been submerged in water. Everything felt numb. Everything felt distant.

There was blood rushing loudly in his ears and Arthur wondered if Merlin was joking. But then he saw the face streaked with a hundred tears, devastation and fear written all over it, and he knew he was telling the truth.

Arthur felt dizzy.

Merlin? Magic? The thought was unbelievable but at the same time, the truest thing in the world. Everything fell into place now. Every little oddity in his life was now falling in place like a perfect puzzle, cleanly and tidily shining in his head.

Then, the whole puzzle crashed down, rumbling and falling like an avalanche, taking its memories of companionship and trust with it. The dam broke and the metaphorical water around him drained, leaving only anger at the man he had thought to be his friend.

"Leave," Arthur croaked. He was surprised he could even say a word.

A breath sounded in front of him followed by light footsteps.

"Camelot."

The footsteps stopped.

"Leave Camelot." Merlin stared at him with confusion. "Leave Camelot. Never come back. Or else you will be killed."

Realisation dawned and Merlin's face scrunched into despair again. "I can't," he said helplessly. "That would mean leaving your side, I won't."

Arthur closed his eyes and cast his face up to the ceiling, breathing in and out slowly. "You have magic?"

Only a second of hesitation passed before Merlin uttered a quiet, "Yes."

"You know its punishment?"

"Yes."

"You've lived in Camelot for ten years?"

"Yes."

"And you joined the court. Became my— my manservant?" At that, Arthur looked back down, opening his eyes and directing it at his servant.

"Yes," Merlin replied again quietly. "I've never used it to hurt you though. I've only used it to save your life. Multiple times. I don't want the throne or any place in the high court. I never wanted that. I just— I just want your friendship."

Arthur's emotionless front wavered. "You had my friendship."

At the use of past tense, Merlin's face fell further.

"Leave."

"I can't."

"Get out."

"I can't."

"Merlin," Arthur warned.

"Arthur." Merlin told him, "I can't."

Arthur breathed through his nose, then out through his mouth. "Merlin of Ealdor, you are hereby banished from Camelot—"

"I told you, I can't leave—"

"—if you don't leave before sundown—"

"—I won't leave, that's not going to happen—"

"—or if you return to Camelot—"

"—I have to stay with you, it's not just about myself—"

"—you will be burnt at the pyre immediately—"

"—it is our destiny, and I have to protect y—"

"MERLIN, FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, WILL YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME!" Arthur charged forward and pushed him harshly, making him bump hard against the floor and slump to the ground.

He looked up at Arthur with fear in his eyes, and even more tears pooling in them, but all Arthur could feel was rage.

"You have betrayed me," he yelled. "You betrayed Camelot! You betrayed everyone!"

He felt manic with hurt and anger.

"You fooled everyone and succeeded for ten years. Ten years!"

He lashed out and kicked the door instead of Merlin.

"I thought of you as a friend. Trusted you more than I have anyone else in my life!"

His vision blurred with tears and Arthur hurried to rub his eyes to get rid of them.

"It is only those years that are holding me back from killing you right this instant. I'm risking everything, everything my father built, everything my kingdom stands on, all the laws, all the people, just for you."

He swiped at his eyes again.

"So take it. Take the chance and go. Leave. Stay in Ealdor, I won't send anyone after you. Don't come back."

Merlin was shaking now, his eyes shining before they released more tears.

"I can't," he said again. His voice was quiet, but fearful determination was infused in every word. "I can't leave you."

Anger boiled and raged, rearing inside him again. His face twisted into a furious expression and he kicked, his foot smashing down on the wood of the door above him and throwing it open.

Merlin flinched. Arthur grabbed his wrist and pulled him up roughly, not waiting for him to gain his footing before storming through the hallways.

Merlin, wisely, kept his mouth shut, albeit some whimpers and soft noises of stifled sobs came out.

He dragged him through the hallways, ignoring the guards, knights, nobles, and other servants.

They bumped into Gwaine along the way, but Arthur ignored him, barging on.

"What's going on?" he heard Gwaine call. "Where are you taking Merlin?"

He didn't reply, continuing to drag the stumbling man down a flight of stairs.

Merlin tripped, but Arthur didn't falter, wrenching him up again and not paying any attention to his pained gasp.

"Arthur, you're hurting him," Gwaine said, running to follow them. "Let him go, he can walk to wherever it is you're going by himself."

Arthur continued, ignoring him, dragging Merlin on.

Blood was rushing in his ears again. He wasn't even paying full attention to where he was going. He let his legs carry on, trusting them to lead him to his destination.

Finally, they arrived at the dungeons. The guards stationed at the entrance stood up upon seeing him.

"My lord?"

"Stay there and don't move!" he barked, going on until he stopped at the most isolated area of the dungeons. He opened one up, swinging the door wide open. He yanked Merlin forward then let go.

Merlin toppled to the ground in front of the cell. He cast his eyes up at him while minutely trembling.

"You have two choices," Arthur hissed. "Only the two. Leave and never come back, or get inside the cell and die."

Gwaine put a hand on his shoulder. "Arthur, this is unnecessary. Whatever he did or said isn't bad enough to warrant this."

"You stay out of this, Gwaine!" He jerked his hand off. He must have sounded really angry because Gwaine didn't say anything more. "Choose," he snapped at Merlin.

Merlin was crying. Softly, silently, heartbroken and scared. He was a mess and was subconsciously rubbing his wrist where Arthur had clutched in an iron grip, dragging him out here.

He had to choose the sensible option. Though he didn't always show, Merlin was clever. After all, he had hidden one of the worst secrets ever for ten years.

He would leave. He had to. Arthur didn't know how he would do it, standing on a balcony above him, decreeing the word then watching his friend scream as he was burnt to death.

No. He couldn't. Even if his closest friend did betray him in the worst way.

Merlin slowly stood. He glanced briefly at Gwaine but turned his gaze back at him.

The two met eyes, blue on blue. As they had done many times before, walking into danger, walking into battle, walking into situations where there was a very real possibility that both of them could die, and they did that together.

But this time, Merlin turned away and took two steps forward, right into the dungeon, alone.

Arthur yelled out in boiling frustration as he slammed the door closed. It rattled and bounced back open with the force, and Arthur slammed it back closed again.

He peered through the bars, his glare meeting Merlin's guilty and saddened gaze. "I'm sorry," the man said. "Between the choice of either leaving you alone willingly or dying, I will always choose the latter."

Damn him. Arthur wanted to scream.

"I told you before."

Arthur turned away from his wounded look.

"I'm happy to be your servant till the day I die."

He couldn't take hearing any more.

Arthur turned and left. He hadn't locked the door. He wasn't going to. He didn't need to. Part of him hoped, but he knew it wouldn't happen.

Merlin would stay in the cell and wouldn't try to escape despite the unlocked door.