Chapter Text
It will not happen.
Severus entered his office and removed his wand from his belt. A light mist rose from the floor, directed towards the paintings, which fell into an enchanted sleep.
It must stop.
Severus sat down at his desk, fighting against himself. He stared at the parchments scattered in bulk on the large wooden table, trying to calm his own heartbeat.
Wrong.
His hands were shaking as two opposing forces fought in his mind, leaving him confused.
Alone. A monster.
With a final, shuddering sigh, Severus took a phial from the top desk drawer and swallowed it in one gulp. As was his Friday routine.
Silencing every demon.
Making them stop.
Yes, it was wrong. Yes, Severus was a monster.
But he couldn't help himself.
***
When she had arrived he had not given her more than an annoyed look.
He had never liked children; he had resented even his own childhood.
And then.
And then, as the years passed, he had not been able to help noticing how, under the bright sunlight, her eyes reflected a forest-green shade.
And then, as the years passed, he couldn't help noticing how, in the darkness of the evening, her copper hair took on a darker, autumn hue.
And the anguish had grown.
The restlessness held at bay with increasing effort.
Wrong. Forbidden.
But the thought so damn sweet.
***
It had started one cold winter evening.
The weekly meeting between the Headmasters and the Head Boy and Girl was held every Friday after dinner in his office and, that evening, only Lily Luna Potter had turned up.
His torment, his delight.
They had started as usual, talking about school problems, Prefects, student discontent, common infractions.
They spoke without him being able to maintain a logical thread in the discourse, his eyes lost in the girl's cleavage, in those three unfastened buttons that could not be a coincidence.
Old pervert.
Lily Luna was also agitated. She kept moving around in the chair on the other side of the desk, glancing at him and looking away. She was biting her lip.
Her huge eyes seemed to be begging him - but for what? - and the swaying of her autumn hair with every movement mesmerized him, preventing him from thinking.
"Miss Potter, are you all right?" he finally asked, his voice hoarse.
Lily Luna sighed; then, with a startled snap, she leaned over the desk, grabbed his face and stuck her tongue in his mouth.
The world, off.
Severus's first instinct was to grab her by the nape of the neck, to moan, to deepen that long-dreamed kiss, to taste the girl and memorize every nuance.
Then fear hit him like a kick in the stomach.
Wrong.
Severus groaned again, but this time pushing Lily Luna away from him, standing up and knocking his chair to the floor.
Lily Luna sighed, standing up too, calmly.
"Severus."
"No," he interrupted her, "Headmaster Snape, for you."
Old. Tired. Ruined.
Unworthy of her.
Lily Luna slipped a hand into her robe and pulled out a full phial, which she tipped into her mouth. Then she went around the desk, slowly - he, a hunted animal - and kissed him a second time. She forced his mouth open. She pinched his nose, preventing him from breathing.
Before Severus could react, some of the potion had already gone down his throat.
It burned. Like the lust for her.
It burned, almost to the point of filling his eyes with tears.
Lily Luna turned away after the assault, watching him.
His fluttering, his fear, his confusion calmed immediately.
"Too much peppermint, Miss Potter," Severus murmured, fighting back sobs.
She smiled.
A demon dressed as an angel.
"You make it next time, Potions Master."
And then she was back on his lips, drinking of his tears as Severus gave in to lust, the voices in his head silenced by the soothing potion.
***
"I’ve never felt like this before".
Lily Luna tipped her head back, her whisper lost in the air.
Severus held her by the hips, pushing into her from below, and she rocked on top of him at his pace, her knees resting on the desk.
“I've wanted you since the first time I saw you”. Eleven years old and on her way to Hogwarts. So much for a precocious child. A demon full of darkness, sent to earth to trap him in its cursed forest.
Severus continued to push, as always lost in that fairytale world. The Calming Draught extinguished every voice in his head and left him trapped in a world of dreams; a slumber of desires to be fulfilled.
"You too, weren't you?"
No, he was not.
She had only been a child at that time.
But then, how to explain those forest-shaded eyes in the daytime and that cascading autumn hair in the night?
How to explain the perfection of her, Lily Luna, who seemed to have come into the world as his redemption, as the infinite torment that would extinguish his loneliness?
There was only one answer; one that, without a Calming Draught, he would never be able to give her.
"I love you."
***
"Your position as assistant professor of Potions has been accepted, Miss Potter."
"Thank you, Headmaster Snape. I look forward to starting work at Hogwarts with all the faculty... And with you."
A flash of smile, a forest-green glow hid a laugh.
His hands trembled. Severus put them in his pocket, hiding his shame.
He was lost in the Forbidden Forest. Was it so bad?
After all, this was how a fairy tale began.
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