Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sam leaned back against a tree and sighed. There was something of a fundamental flaw with this game of hide&seek that they were playing: the process of winning was exceptionally boring. He'd made most of his strategic decisions the night before by picking a station to flee to, bypassing his original choice of Winterthur for a town he thought would be more obscure. For some unfathomable reason, Ben and Adam had beelined straight for the area he'd chosen, leading him to his second and more successful decision: hiding in the woods. Excellent choice for cover, as they were nowhere near locating him yet, but painful for the prospect of sitting still among the rocks and branches for hours on end with absolutely nothing to do. At least it was a frigid Swiss winter so it was unlikely that any creature would pop up and try to take a bite out of him. Any creature other than Ben, at least.

He pulled up the map on his phone to check the seeker locations again. Ben and Adam were in the woods, but the wrong woods. They'd gone down to the area around the lake. It was undoubtedly more picturesque, which was why he hadn't chosen it. Ever since they'd gotten proof that he was in this zone and in nature somewhere, they hadn't dared to ask him any more questions. How long would they waste poking at the wrong bushes before they convinced themselves to look elsewhere? He might still have a shot at a decent runtime.

Of course, he would have had a much better shot if they hadn't zeroed in on his zone so quickly. How had they managed that? Was it just Sam's notoriously terrible luck striking again, or was it because they worked so well as a team, they could efficiently optimise their actions in a way that they couldn't when he was involved? Ben and Adam were close to each other in a way that he could never be with either of them. They were a closed circuit, a molecule unto themselves. No one was going to bring Sam a present when they found him, like Adam had for Ben with the gummy worms. They just didn't work that way and they never could.

With Adam, especially, Sam could not risk letting his professional boundaries slip. Adam was his very first hire, the foundation of Wendover as a proper business. Sam had been barely out of high school at the time, full of plans and ambition and also doubts that he, a baby-faced kid with a head full of facts, could escape his destiny. They'd both been younger then, of course, but Adam was the older and at that age, it mattered. Adam was clean-cut and respectably dressed and a Yale boy and possibly smarter than Sam, though he would never in his life admit it. Adam looked like company president material in a way Sam couldn't. It was crucial to establish the pecking order right from the beginning, to make it clear that he and Adam were not friends, that they were not goofing around together on some fun little hobby project. They were not co-founders. Sam was the leader and Adam was just an employee with targets to meet. It was that firm hierarchy that stood as proof of Sam's adulthood. Adam was the longest-serving member of Wendover and probably the one Sam trusted the most, but it was crucial that he was not Sam's equal. If Sam treated Adam as any more of a friend than he already did, he risked people seeing Adam as the official second-in-command and coming to Adam for support instead of Sam, and then the whole house of cards would collapse. Yes, if something happened to Sam, Adam was the best situated to pick up the pieces and carry on, and Sam had made some quiet arrangements to that effect in his will, but he'd never told Adam about it. It could change the balance between them, and that balance could not be changed. Becoming equals would unravel Sam's entire sense of self, turn him back to that young and frightened kid he'd been. 

With Ben, it was a different story. Sam had been firmly established as the boss by the time that he met Ben. Ben came to him as a supplicant pleading for acceptance and that dynamic was always the first thing they saw in each other. Even when Ben teased him or rebelled against his orders, he did it from the perspective of Sam being the authority figure, the teacher whose approval he needed. A favorite teacher who might let him get away with the most ridiculous shit, but a teacher always. Sam could never get too close to Ben because they were both always aware of the power Sam held over him. Equals just wasn't an option.

On a team, Sam and Adam butted heads constantly. On a team, Sam and Ben never knew how much to give each other.

It didn't matter. Sam had other friends. Ben and Adam were his writers. They all worked well enough together in the roles they had established. That was the way of things.

Sam looked down at the tracking symbols on the map. Still the wrong woods, closer to the lake now, but - were their symbols overlapping? He could only see Adam's little circle on the display, not Ben's. Sam swiped at the screen, zooming in and out to try and make them separate, but it wasn't working. Ben's icon was gone. Had his phone glitched out and lost signal? Maybe he'd had to reset the phone for some reason. Adam was right there with him, so even if Ben's phone had failed, it wouldn't create a problem for the game.

A particularly harsh breeze made Sam shiver and tighten the hood around his face. It wasn't like he was a stranger to cold weather. He loved winter sports. But that was the thing, he loved sports. Usually when he was outdoors in the winter, he was being active, skiing or climbing or running. Not sitting still with roots and rocks under his butt. If he wasn't careful his knees might lock up or something. His legs already felt stiff. At least the ground wasn't snowy, that would have really sucked over time. Ben was the only one of them who'd brought fully waterproof pants. On the other hand, it might have been warmer if it had been snowing. The clear sky made the world feel stripped-down, exposed. Even with his coat, he could feel the cold in his bones. Not that he was worried about it - the temperature wasn't that low and he had chemical handwarmers in his backpack if he really needed them. But he definitely did not love sitting on his butt in a cold forest with nothing to do but wait, even if waiting was the only way to win the game.

He tapped his back against the tree and closed his eyes, running through lists in his mind to pass the time. It was soothing.

An unknown time later, the phone in his hand buzzed with an incoming call. Sam opened his eyes, blinking, and saw Adam's icon bouncing on the screen for attention. Maybe the problem with Ben's phone had turned out to be more serious than anticipated. He quickly swiped to accept. "Hello?"

"Sam, can you hear me?" The voice sounded stressed, which would be normal for Adam, but that wasn't Adam's voice at all. Was that Ben?

"Yes, I'm here," Sam said.

"Emergency abort," said Ben.

Sam was on his feet almost immediately, scrambling his way up with the tree behind his back for balance. Ben was a chaos gremlin who would say anything for a laugh, but he would never joke about team safety. "What happened? Where are you? Where's Adam?"

"We fell in the lake," Ben started. "I'm okay, but Adam's really cold. He got soaked through, he's not doing so good."

In Switzerland in December? Hypothermia was a very real possibility, especially for someone as slimly-built as Adam Chase. Sam quickly switched the phone to speaker mode so that he could keep talking to Ben while also looking at a map for the best route from his position "Ben, listen to me. You need to get Adam dry and out of the wind as soon as possible."

"Did that," Ben replied. "We're in an abandoned shack or something. The door was unlocked, but there's no power or heat, there's no blankets, and it's still freezing. I need to get Adam to a hotel but I don't know an address for where we are so I can't call an Uber. We're not on a road, we're still in the woods, and we've only got one phone -" Ben's voice rose and caught, betraying his fear. "Should I try to find a road to flag someone down to help?"

"No. You have to stay with Adam, no matter what. He needs you." It was a basic first aid principle: never leave a casualty alone. "Stay put. I will come and I will find you. You need to get Adam warm. Do you have any - "

The call suddenly disconnected.

Crap. Adam's icon had just vanished from the map as well. Sam tried to call Ben back, but unsurprisingly, no one answered. The phone must have died.

Well, he'd seen roughly where they were before the trackers failed. He just had to get down there and look for a wilderness hut or other shelter. This wasn't hide and seek any more, they wanted to be found, and Sam was not going to let them down.

His friends needed him.

Chapter Text

Afterwards, Ben could never remember exactly how it all happened. It was like someone had opened up the editing software inside his mind and snipped out the whole sequence: unnecessary, bad for pacing. He couldn't remember how or why they had fallen. He couldn't remember the act of falling, the sensation of tumbling through the air which must logically have taken place. He remembered looking for Sam, trudging along the side of another road which felt like they'd checked it twice already, trying to rule out possibilities in the forest. He remembered the view of the lake, down below and to the left as he walked.  And then he remembered hitting the water.

The impact came first - his back striking the surface, his backpack punching into his spine. If he'd fallen onto hard ice, he would have taken some bruises. Instead, the dark, frigid water parted around him and swallowed him whole. 

For a moment, he could neither see nor think. A collar of knives slashed at his neck where the skin was bare above his coat. His face and hands burned. Cold gripped his chest, squeezing so hard he thought his heart would burst - and then the buoyancy of his waterproof clothing and his backpack propelled him back up like a cork, so that by the time he gasped, involuntarily, for air, his head was already out of the water. He'd been lucky.

Acting on instinct, he clapped a hand to his face, keeping his glasses secure while he struggled to gain control of his movements. He splashed and spluttered, spinning in place until at last he spotted the nearest shore. Ben had never been a champion swimmer, and being heavily clothed, disoriented, and chilled definitely didn't help. At least this time he managed to avoid drinking half the lake as he went. After a few awkward moments, he reached the water's edge and climbed up, shaking his arms to try and fling the water away. 

The waterproof clothing was definitely a blessing, as was the fact that he'd been heavily zipped up against the chill. Still, water by its nature flowed through any tiny sliver of vulnerability. Ben could feel that damp had leaked through in places around the edges (cuffs, collar, shirt hem, under the zipper itself) but they were damp, not soaked. His beanie, on the other hand, was waterlogged and clinging unpleasantly to his ears; he pulled it off along with his gloves, panting as the exertion and the cold began to catch up with him. His socks and shoes were a soggy mess, but he didn't feel up to removing them at the moment. The backpack didn't feel heavy enough to have completely absorbed the lake water, but it wasn't perfectly sealed either, so the contents were probably at least as damp as the clothing he wore. His glasses were beaded with water - he unzipped his coat and tried to buff them dry against the lining, though the results were smeary and not entirely helpful. His phone was gone. He was fairly sure he'd had it in his hand before whatever happened happened. Most likely, he'd dropped it as he fell and it was now at the bottom of the lake. Damn. Sam was not going to like that. Ben was probably going to get a lecture from - 

His brain caught up with itself all at once. "Adam? Adam??" He spun in place, looking for his partner Seeker. Had Adam fallen too, or was he still up on the road above, or trying to find a safe way down? 

No - there, another figure in the lake. Adam was swimming, but slowly, not lifting his arms out of the water at all. As he approached the shore and the water beneath him grew shallow, he fell forward, crawling rather than walking out of the lake. Ben rushed over with squishy steps to intercept him and pull him up onto dry ground, struggling with the weight of his waterlogged clothing. 

Once free of the water's grip, Adam just lay there, shivering and gasping like a landed fish. Ben dropped to his knees beside him. "Adam. You okay? Are you hurt?"

"B-ben..." He was shaking almost too hard to form words.

Ben began to realise that they were in serious trouble.

Adam had always been more sensitive to cold than Ben was. He had less body mass to protect him. Adam was surprisingly strong for his build but there just wasn't much of him to go around. To be out here dripping wet, exhausted, and exposed in the cold of a Swiss winter was begging for hypothermia. Ben didn't know exactly how that worked, but he knew it was dangerous, even fatal if untreated. He needed to get Adam somewhere safe and dry - but how? "Can you stand?"

Adam tried to push himself up, but his trembling arms wouldn't hold him.

"Okay, hang on, I'll help you up. We can do this." Could they, though? Ben had carried Adam on his back before, but that was on flat terrain for short periods and not while waterlogged. He might be able to heft Adam in a fireman's carry as a last resort, but definitely not while carrying two backpacks as well. Ben unslung his pack and dropped it on the ground, then began to pull off Adam's hat and pack. "Move your arm... that's right..." He slid the straps free of Adam's arms, wincing at just how wet his friend's back was. Was it worth trying to wring some of the liquid out of his clothing, or were they better off just moving? He gave the sweater a quick squeeze in case it helped, then pulled Adam's arm over his shoulders. "C'mon, buddy. I've got you. On your feet." With only a little wobbling, he got them both standing. "Walk with me. Come on. I'm going to take care of you." He wasn't entirely sure how, but he didn't have any choice.

Walking, for lack of a better word, sucked. Somehow the whole lake had gathered inside Ben's shoes. Every step felt like his feet were sloshing along inside ziplock bags of water. He certainly wasn't going to sit down now to try and get his shoes off, though, and even wet they were probably some protection against potential ground hazards. All they had to do was reach help before they froze through. A roadside where he could wave down a passing car, maybe, or a house, or at least some kind of shelter. "It's okay. It'll be okay," he repeated.

A harsh gust of wind made Ben shiver. Adam was scarily silent, but he was still moving, doing his best to keep walking and keep pace with Ben's steps. His weight wasn't a burden, but the two of them together were unstable and Ben had to choose his steps up the hill with care. He wasn't tall or strong or athletic or nature-oriented like Adam or Sam. No one expected him to be in charge in situations like this. He wasn't an Eagle scout. He couldn't remember the layout of the area, he had no idea where the closest road was, and branches were crunching and rolling under their feet in a way that suggested no one was supposed to be walking here. But as long as they kept moving away from the lake, they were bound to run into something manmade. Weren't they?

Look down, watch their feet. Look up - aha!

"I see a roof, Adam! There's a house!"

Adam didn't answer.

Ordinarily, Ben would be shy about bothering complete strangers, but for Adam's sake he would beat down a door if he had to. "Good thing we're in Switzerland and not America," he tried to joke. "Otherwise they'd probably shoot us through the door." Switzerland had a lot of guns around but very few homicides. It was something that they researched before filming a game where they might be lurking suspiciously.

As they drew closer, Ben noticed that the house was unusually small, and then, unusually run-down. It was soon clear that this was not an active dwelling. The windows were dark, leaves were piled up in front of the door, and there was no sign of a place for trash pickup. Maybe it was some kind of storage shed? Whatever it was, it was shelter, and they needed it. Shifting Adam's weight against him, Ben tried the door, wondering if Switzerland had some version of a necessity defense for breaking and entering. Adam was the priority; legal consequences could come later. 

To his surprise, the door opened easily. It was an old handle that didn't even look like it had a lock built into it. Maybe this building was for public use? "Here we go. Come on. Almost there. Almost safe."

Ben pulled the door the rest of the way open and limped inside, bringing Adam with him - and froze. Inside, the 'house' was clean and empty - completely empty. No furniture, no power switches, no phone, no other doors, just a single room with bare walls and a fireplace. Which was useless, since the fireplace didn't contain any fuel and Ben didn't know how to start a fire from scratch anyway. What was he supposed to do now?

Well, at least they'd be out of the wind. That was something. Ben pulled the door shut - the windows let in enough light to see, not that there was anything much to see. "Okay. Off your feet. Rest." He gently eased Adam to the ground, then sat next to him. They had to get dry, as much as possible, or they were going to freeze. He unlaced his own shoes and pulled them loose, along with his muddy and sopping-wet socks. His toes were an unhealthy-looking red and wrinkled from too much water, but not completely numb - he could still feel the cold floor beneath him. Better than nothing. Adam's shoes and socks came next, followed by his soaked and heavy sweater, which was difficult with the way it clung to his thin frame. Adam wasn't much help, now barely able to hold his arms up when Ben pulled them into position. His skin, once exposed, looked even paler than usual, like a ghost that had already drowned. Ben shivered, trying to banish that thought from his mind. He unzipped his coat and quickly draped it over Adam's skinny shoulders, planning to do a better job with it later.  After that, he took a deep breath. "Sorry about this," he murmured, as his chilled fingers fumbled to unfasten Adam's belt. His friend was so cold, would he even notice if Ben hurt him by accident? Carefully, he eased the clothing down over Adam's bony hips, lifting his legs when necessary. The wet fabric clung and squelched, but at last he got them free, leaving Adam bare.

As he went to set Adam's jeans aside, Ben's hand encountered something hard in a pocket. Was that..? Yes! Adam still had his phone! Ben pulled it free and flicked it on, laughing in relief as the screen lit up. It still worked! He knew Adam's unlock codes as well as his own. Without hesitation, he pulled up the contact list and called for help. "Sam, can you hear me? Emergency, abort."

Just as he'd managed to communicate the basics of the situation to their boss, the phone in his hand made a sizzling sound. Then, with a sharp crack! the screen went dark.

Damn. He must have shorted it out by using it wet. He was so stupid! Why couldn't he do anything right?

Deep breaths. Priorities. Focus. There was no time to punish himself when Adam was curled up Gollum-like and shaking in the cold. "Hey, Adam. I'm going to try and get you dry, okay?" Ben pulled his shirt up over his head. It was damp in places, but it still had enough usable fabric to serve as a towel for Adam's head. His hair was short, anyway, it didn't take much to get it drier. Should he try it anywhere else? Would scrubbing at his skin stimulate the circulation or just cause him pain? "Adam? Do you want a rubdown?"

Adam didn't answer.

Ben pressed closer so that he could hear Adam's ragged, too-fast breathing. "Adam? Talk to me."

"... cold..."

"I know." What was he supposed to do? Adam had his arms wrapped around his knees, trying to control the shivering. It was far too cold in this shack for him to warm up. Even Ben was starting to suffer from it. They didn't have any sources of heat, didn't even have dry clothes, what could they do? Nervously, he rubbed at his exposed arms, and then realised - skin-to-skin contact. That was what you were supposed to do in these situations, wasn't it? He was sure he'd seen it on a webpage somewhere. And it made sense, didn't it? At least that way they could keep what little heat they still had.

Ben stood up and stripped down to his briefs. He put the snow pants on the floor as an insulating layer, rubbing them first to be sure the outside was dry. "C'mere, buddy. Let's lie you down." Gently, he rolled Adam onto the padding he'd set up, then lay down next to them, chest to chest. The coat, he drew over top of them, trying to keep it covering as much of Adam's back as possible. "Hang on to me. I've got you." Awkwardly, he pulled Adam's arm over his waist, then put his own arm over top and pulled their bodies  together. What he wouldn't give for a sleeping bag or a blanket! But it was too late to find anything else. He couldn't leave Adam. He had to take care of Adam.

Ben didn't usually think of Adam as fragile. Adam was the strong one, the athletic one. He'd taken the top sports award in his high school class at graduation. Here in this place he was like hollow porcelain - cold and precious and likely to shatter at the wrong handling. Ben could feel every bone in Adam's body, his ribs through his flesh, his heart beating fast, so fast, a desperate signal he didn't know how to answer. He pressed his cheek against Adam's shoulder, his hands flat against Adam's back, hugging him tight, and felt a weak squeeze in return. Adam's arms, Adam's hands, Adam's fingers, so long and delicate and expressive. What if they were damaged by the cold? They couldn't get frostbite now that they were out of the wind, could they? Should he tuck Adam's hands between their bodies for protection? But it was the core of him that was most important to keep warm, wasn't it? Why didn't he know these things? Why was he such an idiot? Why did Adam have to get saddled with the partner who had no idea how to help and was probably doing everything wrong?

He bit his lip. He would not let himself tear up, not now. He could not get any extra moisture on Adam's skin. Slow, deep breaths, keeping the exhaled warmth between them. He had to stay calm. Adam needed him. That's what Sam had said. But what was the point of staying if he couldn't do anything? What if Adam got worse? What if Adam stopped breathing, what was he supposed to do then? Ben's breath hissed through his teeth. Calm! He had to stay calm! It would be okay, it had to be okay, it would be okay, he was just freaking out because Adam lacked the energy to freak out himself. It was the equilibrium of anxiety, nothing more. Adam was safe. Ben could feel his heartbeat.

"It's going to be okay." He said it out loud now, stroking his hand down Adam's back, trying to imagine that it felt a fraction warmer. Adam would comfort him, if their positions were reversed. Adam would probably sing little songs to him to raise his spirits. Ben couldn't even carry a tune. "Hey, Adam? Next time we play hide and seek, let's do it somewhere a little warmer, okay? We haven't been to Spain yet. Let's go to the beach. Beach?" He waited for Adam to catch the phrase and respond, but he got nothing. "C'mon Adam, stay with me here." Adam's breaths were so shallow and shaky. Was it better for him to save his energy, try to relax against Ben as much as he could? Or was it risky to let his consciousness drift? Ben didn't know if falling asleep was actually dangerous for Adam, but he knew that it scared him. "Let's go to the beach," he tried again. "Beach?"

"... let's go get a wave," Adam murmured.

"Yeah, that's what we're gonna say," Ben forced a smile. "We're gonna sit on the beach with Bud Lights and colorful umbrellas and a bright stripe of sunscreen on your nose. And we'll make Sam dive for pearls." Did pearl-oysters live near Spain? Probably not. "There aren't any pearls there, so maybe he'll drown. And the Spanish will mistake you for the British Invasion because you're so pale, and they'll throw tomatoes at you. Or maybe we'll go during the tomato festival and that's how you'll hide. You'll be so covered in tomatoes that you'll blend in completely to your surroundings, and we'll walk right past you. Another victory for Adam Chase." 

He kept on in that vein, babbling nonsense and demanding the occasional grunt out of Adam to be sure he was still conscious. It wasn't funny, really. He felt like all his wits had deserted him and he'd forgotten how being funny even worked. But it didn't matter. Adam probably wouldn't remember all the stupid things he said. Even if he did remember, he wouldn't care. It was fine. As long as they got through this somehow, it would be okay...

Suddenly, a cold breeze whipped through the shack. Ben clutched at Adam, startled. What had... the door? Someone opened the door? He twisted his head and was greeted with the view of light shining through a halo of blond hair.

Sam had found them at last.

Chapter Text

Even though he'd been certain his calculations were correct, Sam's heartbeat increased the moment he saw the two figures curled up together like puppies on the floor of the wilderness hut. Ben had chosen the best solution under difficult circumstances, but he lacked the resources to make it effective. All that bare skin would continue to lose heat.

"Stay where you are," he said, as Ben tried to lift his head to look at him. "I'll take care of it." Discussion was unnecessary. This was a crisis and he was going to manage it.

Sam unslung his backpack and dropped it to the floor, then immediately pulled the cap off his head and settled it on Adam's. Whatever his condition, covering his head was an improvement. Sam just needed to follow the logical steps. He knelt and unzipped his bag, dumping the contents out onto the floor for faster sorting. The balled socks rolled free and he scooped them up at once, then turned to take hold of Adam's ankle. His feet were shockingly cold and didn't even twitch while Sam pulled the thick winter fabric into place.

Ben, on the other hand, tried to kick Sam when he felt the touch. "Hold still," Sam repeated.

"I'm ticklish! You need to help Adam -"

"You were in the water, too," Sam pointed out. "You both need this." He tightened his grip so that Ben couldn't squirm away while Sam manhandled him into proper socks.

Next he dug out one of the chemical handwarmers, popping the metal disk and massaging the gel inside to start the exothermic reaction. It was dangerous to apply that heat directly to skin, though, especially for someone too cold and weak to react appropriately. He needed a bit of light fabric, an amount too small to be useful for other purposes but capable of providing protection. There was only one reasonable option, so he picked up his spare briefs and used them as a wrapper. With that ready, he removed the coat that was half-covering Adam and Ben, tucking the little warm bundle between their bodies. "If that feels too hot at all, move it around. Don't let it burn him," he told Ben. "It might work better applied at multiple points anyway."

"My coat -"

"Wait."

Sam plucked a fabric pouch out of the pile of his belongings, undid the snap, and shook it out into a full rain poncho. It wasn't quite a blanket, but it would do, and provide much better body coverage than a single half-coat could. He spread the fabric over their combined bodies, then replaced Ben's coat on top, then his own, then added the remaining larger clothing items from his backpack for extra insulation. After surveying the results, he brought out his phone, pressed a few buttons, and set it aside. Finally, he stripped down to his underwear and slid in under the poncho's edge, sandwiching Adam between himself and Ben. Sam's larger body made it easy to wrap himself around the other man in a protective cradle.

Now, at last, Adam stirred. "Sam?" he protested faintly. "Don't - don't have to..."

"Executive order: don't fight me," said Sam. "We're going to stay like this for a few minutes to start getting your temperature up, and then I'm calling us an Uber."

Adam's only response was a shallow sigh. Ben, however, slid his cool hand over Sam's bicep and squeezed, forming a cage around Adam. He lifted his head so that his eyes, earnest and blue, could meet Sam's. "Thank you," he said. 

It was a simple, polite statement, and yet delivered with such intensity that Sam could not formulate a response. 'It's nothing'? Protecting Adam wasn't nothing. It was, in fact, extremely important. 'You're welcome'? That sounded flip, even smug, which wasn't at all how he felt. But what did he feel? He didn't have the words. At last he settled for, "I brought you here. I have a duty of care."

Ben smirked. "Yeah, next time try hiding somewhere a little more comfortable! Or give us better clues." He dropped his head back to the floor, then pressed it against Adam's. "Hey. How you doing in there?" Adam hummed vaguely in response. "Can we get a proper Rescue Zone review?"

"'sgreat," Adam mumbled.

Sam could feel the muscles tighten across Adam's back as he shifted his position slightly. His body was so thin, it was no wonder that he couldn't handle the cold. But in the same way, it ought to be easy enough to warm him up again. He should bounce back quickly once they had him somewhere safe. Even this uncomfortable huddle on the floor was clearly improving his condition. The situation had been bad, but Sam had done his job. He'd handled it. He had it under control.

With nothing else to stay, Sam fell silent, listening to Ben and Adam's breathing. Still a little too fast for people lying still on the ground, but Ben at least was definitely relaxing. Sam closed his eyes and tried not to think. There was nothing else to do. They just needed time.

...

A loud beep from Sam's phone made his arms instinctively tighten around the others.

"Are we interrupting your exciting social life?" Ben joked, fingertip wiggling.

"No, that's my timer," said Sam. "Adam, how are you feeling?"

Adam didn't move. "To be honest, not great," he sighed.

"You sound better, though," said Ben, letting go of Sam so that he could press the back of his hand against Adam's cheek and forehead.

"Yeah, I think it's time to move you somewhere better than this floor," said Sam. "I'm going to call us a ride." He eased his way out of the bundle, tucking the material back down around Adam to keep him covered, then retrieved his pants from the pile. Pants on first, then shoes, then shirt, then phone.

"Where are my clothes?" Adam asked all of a sudden. "I want my clothes."

"They're soaked," said Ben. "You can't wear those. I don't think we could get them back on you if we tried, it was hard enough getting them off."

"But - "

"Adam, you cannot wear wet denim," Sam stated. "You'll have to wear my spare pants. That's an order." Adam made a frustrated groan. Good. An Adam without arguments was not a normal Adam. "Stay where you are and keep warm until I finish making the arrangements."

Sam walked out of the hut and pulled the door closed behind him to create the illusion of privacy. Only when the wind hit him did he realise that he'd left his hat and coat on top of Adam. Well, he wasn't going to freeze, especially not in just a few minutes. He'd be fine. First, he called the hotel that he'd stayed at the night before, booking two double rooms. Next, he called for a car to come and pick them up, explaining his location and that his friends had fallen in the lake and had some wet things. He agreed to pay for any necessary cleaning charges, knowing that they'd most likely be unnecessary ones but it wasn't worth arguing about.

He rapped on the door to give a bit of warning before entering again. The little nest he'd arranged for the boys had been completely disarranged. Adam, now sitting up and wearing Ben's coat, was trying to fasten Sam's pants, but his hands were still shaking and Ben was having to assist him.

"Excuse me, I believe I told you to stay still until I came back," Sam said.

Ben rolled his eyes. "You also ordered him to get into your pants. Which, as our boss, may constitute sexual harassment."

Adam looked down and away. Sam realised, belatedly, that Ben was still wearing nothing but his underwear and Sam's socks. He turned his back on his employees, then, giving them their space. "Ben, get dressed. The car is on its way." He began picking up his scattered belongings and shoving them back into his backpack, pausing when he found his own underwear in his hand. Without looking, he asked, "Adam, have you still got my handwarmer?"

"I put it in his pocket," Ben called back.

"Okay, good." He shoved the underwear into his pack. They were all going to need to do laundry tonight, but the hotel had facilities. He picked up Adam's dead phone, sliding it into his other pocket. Since the boys weren't using the poncho as a blanket anymore, Sam spread it out and used it to collect the unwearably-wet clothing that had been discarded. "What happened to your backpacks?"

"Left them by the lake," said Ben. "Should I go try to find - "

"No, I'll worry about that later. You two are the top priority."

"Well, thank you for that - oh!"

At Ben's startled sound, Sam whirled around to find Adam now up on his feet but draped over Ben. Clearly he wasn't steady enough to stand on his own. Sam walked up and pulled Adam's arm over his own shoulders. "Here, I've got him."

Ben looked back up at him, face solemn. "Yeah. You do."

Sam looked away from Ben's eyes.

Luckily, at that point his phone vibrated. "The car is approaching. Let's get to the road."

"Lead the way."

The ride to the hotel was short and silent. Sam and Ben kept Adam between them in the back seat while their wet belongings stayed wrapped up in the poncho at their feet. The driver tried to help by keeping the heat at full blast, which made Sam feel more than a little dizzy. It wasn't worth complaining about. It would only be for a few minutes.

At the hotel, he left Adam leaning on Ben while he went to the front desk to pick up the two keycards and ask about extra services. Thus equipped, Sam went back to his writers to escort them to their room. He held the keycard to the door and pushed it open, then got out of the way so they could enter, following a few steps behind. 

Ben paused inside the room and laughed when he saw the double bed. "'There was only one bed'? Really?"

He'd chosen that arrangement for a reason, but he didn't feel any need to explain. Ben was obviously more relaxed if he could make jokes again, but Adam remained distressingly subdued. He wasn't out of the woods quite yet. "Both of you, strip down, get into that bed and stay there," Sam said. He looked at Ben. "You were right about the skin contact. You need to keep his warm and calm. I don't think his symptoms were serious enough to be at risk of cardiac arrest - " He ignored the way Ben's nostrils flared in alarm at that " - but he still needs someone to keep watch. And you fell in that lake as well, you know. You think you're fine, but your body has been put under stress, and sometimes the full effects don't hit for an hour after the chill starts. So get in the bed while I go make some arrangements about laundry."

Ben's eyes flashed. "Are you going to make that a command, Sam?"

Sam rolled his eyes and didn't bother to respond.

He went back to the front desk, handing over the wet pile of Adam's clothing (and Ben's socks) with an explanation of the accident to the sympathetic receptionist. Of course, he still had to pay extra for the rush laundry service, but that didn't matter. His next stop was to the hot drinks machine, where he punched in one hot chocolate, then another. He had to fumble slightly to get the drinks through the door into Ben and Adam's room without spilling them, but he didn't want them having to get up. 

The boys had behaved themselves in his absence - they were both under the bedcovers together at least. Adam was leaning on Ben's shoulder, already seeming half asleep. He didn't look up at Sam. 

Sam set the two drinks on the bedside table next to Ben. "I brought hot chocolate. Drink yours first. You can let his cool a little first, but he needs something warm in him and you both need the calories." Sam caught himself, too late, recognising the potential awkwardness of his phrasing, but this time Ben didn't comment on it. "Okay, so. Room service should bring your clothes here directly after they've been washed and dried. I'm going to go back to the lake to try and find your bags and see what can be salvaged. I'll see you in a while." He turned to leave.

"Sam," Ben said, and he looked back. "Stay."

Sam breathed in sharply. Ben had his arm around Adam, holding him close. There was no room in that bed for more than two. "You need your clothes and your other belongings. I need to get to an Apple store and see if they can salvage any data from the phones we've still got. I need to check on your insurance for the replacement process. I need to look at the possibility of rescheduling flights. If we've lost all footage from both of you then this run has to be scrapped, but we have to film at least one run from me to put together a season, so we might have to back up and restart. I need to make plans. Things need to be done and I've got to do them." 

Ben said nothing.

Sam pulled one of the two room cards out of his pocket and set it next to the drinks. "Don't go out, but if you need it in an emergency, here. Now drink your drinks. I'll be back."

With that, he walked out and pulled the door closed behind him.

He was their boss. He had responsibilities. If they were harmed on a shoot, then that was his fault. He had to make things right. The faster he worked, the sooner everything would be back in its proper order.

Chapter Text

don't!

branches flashing, spinning

fabric siding past fingertips, ripped away

no!

cold. 

don't breathe don't breathe don't breathe CAN'T HOLD ON -

With a gasp, Adam awoke.

Immediately, he coughed and spluttered, twisting his body to fight his way free of - nothing. Blankets. He was in a bed. He was in a hotel bed and he was safe.

But he still felt cold. 

Not the cold force that had nearly crushed him when he struck the water, nor the slow-creeping chill that moved through his bones afterwards, draining away his power to resist. This was a simple temperature difference, the sense that he had been warmer just a minute ago and something had changed. He'd been sleeping pressed against something warm and now it was missing -

a hand outflung, fingers spread, a shout

startled face

Ben's lips parting

too late too late

He'd seen it all happen, in those moments of terror that magnified into slow-motion. Ben, looking down at his phone, taking a step backwards, too near the edge. Adam leaping to try and catch him, pull him away, but grabbing hold far too late. Both of them tumbling through branches and bracken, headed inevitably for the frigid water below.

Adam believed in being prepared for bad situations. He kept his first aid certificate up to date, he memorised Ben's medication schedule, he'd completed a full lifeguard qualification course even though he had no intention of working at a pool. He knew the risks and techniques around cold water shock, but he had no time and no control. He couldn't choose a position to protect his head from impact. The only action he could even attempt in that eternal-split-second was to clench his teeth together and blow out through his nose. And then he struck the surface.

He might have drowned in that first minute when the burning pain all over his body made his chest heave and forced him to suck in water despite his efforts to fight the reflex. His heart raced. His throat ached. His vision went black. Panic electrified his brain, threatening to shatter conscious thought. Every instinct told him to splash and struggle his way up to the surface, to expel the liquid he'd swallowed. But he knew that if he tried, he'd breathe more water, and that would be it: Adieu, Adam Chase. He lived with fear every day and he hadn't let it kill him yet. With every ounce of the willpower that had carried him to the top of his graduating class and beyond, he fought his own body, forcing himself to be calm, to spread his arms and roll onto his back and let himself float. Only when his face was safely clear of the water could he let himself cough and choke and breathe air again.

One-ten-one, that was the standard rule for cold water. One minute of shock before you had full control of your body. Ten minutes where your muscles still worked enough to move you around. One hour before you lost consciousness. As the panic eased his grip on his body, he knew he had to act quickly to get himself safely to shore before - oh God, Ben, where was Ben??? Ben didn't know anything about wilderness survival! Adam twisted in place, kicking his legs to keep himself afloat. With the initial water resistance of his backpack now failing, Adam's low body fat made him prone to sinking, especially in fresh water. But where was - Ben! There. He was in the lake, moving, already splashing his way to the water's edge. He was fine, at least for the moment. Adam needed to focus on getting himself to safety before he could worry about anything else.

He tried to raise his arm and shift his body into the swimming pattern of a front crawl - but his arm felt like it was trapped in wet concrete. He could lift a little, but he couldn't pull free. The weight of his wet sweater bogged him down, and every moving muscle fiber felt like it was being stabbed with a thousand pins. It had definitely not been ten minutes yet! Why wouldn't his body work?

No time to think about it. He had to move while he still could. Couldn't do a proper crawl stroke, couldn't risk putting his head underwater again, so all he could do was vaguely dogpaddle towards the nearest mud. It wasn't far. They'd fallen in from an edge, after all, not a boat out in the middle. They were lucky the water had been deep enough for safe impact. But it hurt, it hurt, every movement worse than the one before it. His muscles were so tight, it felt like they might snap rather than stretch. He pushed through the pain. He could not think about failure. He had to go on, whatever it cost. At last, the lake bottom came up to meet him - but standing and lifting his body out of the water proved just as impossible as raising his arms had been. On his hands and knees, he crawled up halfway onto the mud and collapsed, panting for breath, his heart pounding so hard that it ached. 

Waves of nausea rippled through Adam's body. He was so cold, he couldn't feel his feet. He wasn't even sure if he was out of the water or not. That was... probably not good, but it was also very hard to worry about it anymore. He'd fought all that he could fight. Maybe he could... just...

And then he felt Ben's hands gripping his arms, pulling him to safety, telling him it would be okay. That was all right, then. He would just let Ben take control.

...

In the hotel, Adam pressed a hand against his chest, still remembering that dreadful hammering. "Ben?" he called. Ben had been next to him in the bed. Adam had fallen asleep on his shoulder. It was the lack of him that made the bed feel cold. Where had he gone? He twisted his head to look around the room, but he was alone.

Ben had taken over when Adam broke down, and he'd done a better job of things than Adam could.

Because the worst part was that the accident was probably all Adam's fault.

He should have diagnosed the problem before it even became a problem. He'd known that the verge they were walking on was not a dedicated footpath, that pedestrians were simply not supposed to be on this stretch of road. Ben and Adam were only present because they were wandering around looking for some unexpected hidey-hole in the woods where Sam might have parked himself to be as inconvenient as possible. Adam had seen with his own eyes that there was no fence or railing between the flattish grass and the steep slope because this was not an official overlook and the view of the lake was obstructed by the spindly trees whose roots stabilised the hillside. He should have realised that the same trees might obscure the dropoff if someone wasn't paying attention. He should have been walking between Ben and the edge. He should have prevented the entire incident. He should have known.

Those moments felt like forever, but in truth it all happened so fast, it was hard to be certain what was true. Adam had seen Ben looking at his phone, had seen the edge looming behind him. He'd had a moment of terrifying flashback to the cliffs in New Zealand, that time when Ben's foot had skidded out from under him and sent him sliding. He'd called out Ben's name and lunged towards him to grab hold of his jacket and yank him away from the edge, but the sudden movement and sound had made Ben jump (startled face, Ben's lips parting in a word never spoken) and either Adam overshot his leap or Ben moved in exactly the wrong direction, because somehow, they crashed into each other. Adam clutched at him, off-balance, and Ben stumbled backwards, and then they were both falling.

Would Ben have slipped if Adam hadn't yelled? If he'd been a little less anxious and dramatic and just gently guided Ben away from the edge, would it have been all right? If Ben alone had fallen and Adam had run around down to the lakeshore safely to help him up, would they have been able to carry on the search? Ben was apparently just fine somehow, he'd waterproofed himself and bounced like a bath toy. And if they'd only lost Ben's phones and not Adam's, then they'd have been able to piece together enough to show Sam's run. Adam wouldn't have ruined the entire season, and Sam wouldn't be ready to murder him with the nearest hammer. The whole team would be better off if he'd let Ben fall.

He could never have let Ben fall.

"Ben?" Adam raised his voice now, worried. Was he all right? He wasn't collapsed on the floor, was he? He rolled over to check both sides of the bed. "Ben???"

"I'm in the bathroom!" a muffled voice called back. "Sorry, I had to go!"

Ben was fine. Adam had just heard his voice. Ben was fine. There was no reason not to roll back onto the pillow and rest, except that Adam physically could not make himself hold still and wait. He had to... he had to do something. 

He pushed the covers down and swung his legs out of bed, then blinked. He was still wearing Sam's socks and pants and nothing else. That was... something he wasn't ready to think about at the moment. He stood up and tugged the blanket loose from the bed, wobbling slightly as he overbalanced. He wrapped the blanket around himself, stumbled a few steps towards the entrance, and then sat down on the carpet beside the bathroom door.

When Ben finally emerged, shaking his freshly-washed hands, he nearly tripped over the lump of Adam at his feet. "Whoa," he chuckled. "You're like a cat. Did you need to use it?"

"No." Adam wasn't sure what he needed.

"You all right?" Ben reached for Adam's head, then paused, looking skeptically at his own outstretched hand. With a shrug, he dropped to his knees next to Adam and pressed their foreheads together for a moment before Adam flinched away. Ben raised an eyebrow in question, but Adam didn't say anything. "Well, you feel warm enough, anyway."

Adam tried to laugh, but it came out as nothing but a tense 'hnh'. "Not too warm?"

"No, no fever. At least I don't think so." Ben wetted his lips and took a breath, but before he could say anything else, there was a knock on the door. "Oh, that's probably your clothes. Stay put, I'll get it."

Adam wondered where, exactly, Ben thought that he was going to go.

After a brief and quiet exchange, Ben returned holding a stack of neatly folded clothing. "Here. You probably want to get out of Sam's pants." He smirked. "Unless you like it that way."

"I'm surprised he let me have them at all," Adam said. For a man who kept so much of himself to himself, it seemed strangely intimate, even more so than holding him for warmth had been. That was a medical necessity. Sam wouldn't hesitate to put his body on the line when it was needed, even for a stranger. Clothing, though, that was personal. Wasn't it? Or was it just a calculation that the taxi wouldn't accept a naked passenger?

Ben set the stack of clothes on the bed and picked out his own colorful socks to swap with Sam's plain white ones. "He's probably going to want these things scoured and disinfected before he'll wear them again."

"Or just buy new ones that aren't tainted." He wasn't sure which option was worse. Would it be weird for him to keep Sam's pants, if he didn't want them back? "Where is Sam? Is he on his way back yet?"

"How would I know?" asked Ben. "We've got no phones."

"... Right." What a foreign experience, to be in a nice hotel in a highly-developed nation and yet completely cut off from the rest of the world. They couldn't work, they couldn't reach Sam, they couldn't reach their families. At least it meant that their families wouldn't be needlessly worried about the accident, because they wouldn't even know that it had happened. They wouldn't yet know how much Adam had screwed up. "Sam's gonna kill us for this, isn't he." It wasn't even a question.

"He's going to rip off our skins and sew them into leather jackets," Ben agreed cheerfully.

Adam sighed.

Ben sat on the edge of the bed. "Hey. Don't worry. It's not like he can fire us. We're irreplaceable."

"Oh, he can," Adam said bitterly. "As he loves to remind us, he's the boss. We're just the help."

"He's never - "

"Look where we are, Ben!" Adam snapped. He scooted around on the floor to get closer to where Ben was sitting. "He's got us locked in here like toddlers to keep us out of trouble while he goes off on his own, like always. Because he's got important things to do."

"He's not that mad," Ben offered quietly. "He was really worried about you, in a Sam sort of way."

"Because APPARENTLY we can't handle a simple game of hide and seek without fucking it up? We've RUINED the whole SEASON because - " Adam realised how much he was raising his voice and tried to dial it back, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. " - because I'm weak." If I'd done my job and kept us safe, if I'd reacted faster, if I hadn't overreacted, if I'd done anything differently at all...

Adam was staring down the floor, so he couldn't see what Ben was doing, but he heard the delay before his friend spoke again. Choosing his words carefully, was he? "It's not going to be ruined," Ben said at last. "Sam said we'll reshoot his run if we have to. He doesn't really hate us. He's trying to fix things."

"He shouldn't have had to," Adam said harshly.

Another pause. "... I'm sorry," said Ben.

And now, Adam looked up, confused, to meet Ben's eyes. What did Ben have to be sorry about? Adam was obviously the one to blame. "It's fine," he said. "It's fine." It's not fine.

Ben bit his lip, saying nothing.

Struggling to find a less-fraught subject of conversation, Adam noticed the stack of his laundry next to Ben. "I suppose I should have a shower before I put these on? I don't know what was in that lake water." He didn't really like the idea, for some reason. It made him feel anxious, but it was a logical, sensible thing to do.

Ben's brows furrowed. "No, that's not safe."

Adam blinked. "What? Why wouldn't it be?"

Ben rolled his eyes. "I don't know, you had hypothermia, Adam, maybe I don't want you passing out in the shower and cracking your skull on the faucet and bleeding out all over the tub? I mean, look at you, you can't even stand!"

"I can stand," Adam argued.

"Then why are you sitting on the floor?"

Adam stared at Ben's feet and didn't answer.

Ben sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, but I just don't think it's a good idea without Sam here. We can't risk it."

"No, I understand, I totally understand," said Adam. He was safe, and Ben was safe, but Sam wasn't here.

It wasn't that he was worried about Sam. Sam apparently didn't need any help, certainly not from Adam. But they'd spent the whole day 'seeking' him and never fulfilled their goal, not really. He'd been with them while Adam was mostly out of it, and then he'd slipped away again, out of their grasp. They couldn't even talk to him. Was it any wonder that Adam felt unsatisfied?

Chapter Text

With all the errands that needed running, it was hours before Sam could return to the hotel. After retracing his route to the little wilderness hut the other two had stumbled upon, he used the map to navigate down to the lake edge and then sweep along it until he could find their backpacks, bright Cotopaxi colors shining amongst the fallen winter leaves. Unfortunately, both bags had clearly absorbed some water. Sam knelt beside them, going through the items one at a time to catalog what would need to be tended to or thrown away. Chargers, batteries, and microphones were easy to replace and better to toss than to keep around while unreliable. Ben's half-eaten bag of sour gummy glowworms unfortunately fell into the discard category - it wouldn't be safe for him to ingest food that might have absorbed lake water. Sam threw out the candy, but folded up the plastic package and tucked it back into Ben's pack, just in case it had sentimental value. Ben's Switch, of course, would be kept and set aside. There was a chance that it would be fine as long as it had time to dry out completely before being turned on again.

Ben's personal phone was gone without a trace, most likely now somewhere on the bottom of the lake. To his surprise and pleasure, though, Sam was able to retrieve both filming phones. Ben's had been shoved into his backpack and forgotten about. It had been fully submerged and would require a specialist to retrieve the data, but it wasn't lost. Adam's filming phone, still attached to its tripod, Sam found up by the side of the road where the accident must have occurred. There was nothing more than a cracked screen wrong with it, and that was easy to fix.

Backpacks in tow, Sam headed off to a full-service phone store. Replacing components in a water-damaged phone was more expensive than just buying a new phone, but it was worth the cost to retrieve whatever Ben had filmed during the day. Not so much with Adam's water-damaged personal phone - he pulled the SIM and swapped it into another model. Maybe the original phone would work again after it dried, maybe not, but that was Adam's issue to deal with later. For the short term, new phones and chargers and battery banks and mics were enough. Sam just needed to make sure that everyone had sufficient equipment to do their job. If all went well, they'd be able to return to their positions from just before the accident tomorrow and carry on as if they'd never been interrupted.

If this weren't their first time testing out a new format, it might have been a better idea to cancel the whole game and start over. However, they were clearly learning so much about strategy as they went along that it would ruin the authenticity of the thing if they didn't show the developments in order. As it was, they were a day behind schedule but with some careful juggling of his commitments they should still have time to complete his run properly and give Adam a second chance to show what he'd learned. It had been an expensive and inconvenient mishap, the worst accident they'd ever had on Jet Lag, but there was no permanent harm. Everyone was all right. It was going to be okay.

Only in the car on the drive back to the hotel, when Sam was running out of important tasks to focus on, did he keep remembering how cold Adam had felt when Sam had held him, how he'd shuddered, how his voice had almost vanished. Adam, as a colleague, was capable and competent and a stubborn pain in the ass and no more willing to back down from a challenge than Sam was. It wasn't right for him to be so weak and quiet. But he was going to be all right! He was with Ben. They had each other. They always had each other. They didn't need Sam getting in the way.  

"Sam," Ben said. "Stay."

Ben was just being polite. Having Sam around would have made a sensitive situation even more awkward. How could they relax and recover from their ordeal with their boss looming over their heads? It was better for him to stay out of sight, behind the scenes. They'd be happier now that everything was fixed and trending back towards normal. If they resumed on schedule tomorrow, then after that they could all pretend none of this had ever happened.

When Sam returned to the hotel, now carrying three backpacks and a shopping bag with wet and dry items carefully segregated, he made his way to Ben and Adam's room, knocked, and waited.

Footsteps. A muffled "What?" followed by "Oh!" The door opened, revealing Ben. "Hi, Sam. I thought you had the other keycard?"

"I do, but..." It would have been rude to just let himself into their room. This wasn't an emergency.

"Oh, full hands," Ben noted. "Come in, put those down."

Cautious, Sam stepped into their shared hotel room. The first thing he noticed was that the television was on, but it was muted. He didn't think either Ben or Adam was fluent enough in German for most Swiss TV. The second thing he noticed was Adam, sitting on the bed, still wearing Sam's pants. "Hi. Uh, did the desk not deliver your laundry? I can go ask - "

"No!" Adam said immediately.

"We got them." Ben pointed to a pile of clothes on the end of the bed. "We were just waiting for you to get back."

Why did they need him to be back before Adam changed clothes? Well, whatever. "Here's your backpacks." He passed over the bags and explained the choices he'd made about salvaging the contents, as well as laying out the newly-purchased pieces of technology. "You'll probably want to wash and dry the rest of your clothes, too, but I didn't want to make the decisions about your laundry." Sam intended to wash his own clothing as well, since it had all been scattered across the floor, but he needed to wait for Adam to give his spare pants back. "Provisionally planning to restart tomorrow when the clock rolls around to the same time that we had to stop today, to keep things as even as possible, so for tonight you should familiarise yourself with the new phones, check everything's working, film a little around the hotel, and so on."

Ben pressed his lips together and then parted them with a loud smack. "Adam, why don't you grab that shower now and get dressed while Sam helps me with my phone?"

Adam blinked. "Right now?"

Ben arched a brow. "Sam needs his pants back. Don't you?"

"Well, it would be convenient," Sam said.

"All right, sure." Adam stood up and grabbed the pile of his clothes off the bed, clutching them to his bony chest. "Okay, then. I'm going." He walked to the bathroom, hesitating for a moment to look back at Ben and Sam, then passed through and closed the door behind him.

It was no wonder Adam was feeling a little anxious, Sam thought. No one wanted to shower with intruders in their space. "Should I leave?" he asked Ben, lowering his voice. "Here, I can loan you my laptop to log into your Apple account and set up the new device." He pushed the computer across the bed towards Ben. "You don't really need me to stay here, do you?"

"You sure you trust me with access to your laptop? Think of what I might tweet from your account," Ben said at full volume. "You'd better watch over my shoulder just in case." He opened the laptop, but he wasn't even looking at the screen. He was staring at the bathroom door, where Adam had gone. Only after the sound of water running started did Ben lower his voice and speak again. "I need you to stay here and then talk to Adam."

"Huh?"

"He's beating himself up for no reason," said Ben. "He thinks you hate him because he wasn't strong enough to fight off hypothermia."

"That doesn't make sense," said Sam. It was a stupid thing to believe, and Adam was too smart for that.

"I know!" Ben jabbed roughly at the keys. "It's not his fault. The water was really cold and that's just what happens if someone is exposed to it without protection. We all did the best we could. We got him out and he's okay now. There's nothing to feel bad about. Right?"

"Right."

"So just... tell him that, okay?" Ben held up his phone, comparing information with what was on the screen.

Sam pondered. "I don't think I can subtly work that into conversation."

"I don't need you to be subtle. I need you to be Sam. He needs to hear it from you so he'll believe it, because he knows you wouldn't lie just to make him feel better." Ben lowered his head and gave Sam a fierce look, prodding with his finger for emphasis. "Just sit here and tell him it's okay and you're not mad at him. I need you to do this for me."

It was hard not to smile when Ben got so insistent. "Fine. I can do that."

"Good." Ben stood up. "I'm gonna go mess with this phone a bit now. Don't leave until you've talked to him. If you hear anything fall or he's not out of the shower in ten minutes, yell at him to be sure he's okay."

"Is he not okay?" Sam asked.

"He's probably fine." Their eyes met in a shared acknowledgement that sometimes 'probably' wasn't good enough.

"All right. I'll be here."

Ben left the room, and Sam put his laptop away. A few minutes later his phone buzzed - Ben was texting him strings of random emoji. At least, he assumed they were random, unless Ben was saying he'd joined a religion of being thirsty for fish sandwiches. Sam sent the same string in response, adding a question mark, just in case this was an actual error with his new setup. Ben, predictably, replied with shocked and blushing expressions. Apparently his phone was fine.

Not long afterwards, the sound of the shower ceased. Within a minute, Adam emerged, hair damp, dressed in his own clothing and holding Sam's pants folded up in front of him. "Ben, did you -?" he started to say, then looked around the room. His eyes widened concerningly. "Where's Ben? Sam, where's Ben?"

"He went to go test his phone. He's probably calling someone."

"Oh." Adam looked back and forth between Sam and the door, visibly uncertain which way to go. "Um. You should take your pants back."

"Yeah, thanks." Sam got off the bed and came closer to Adam, taking the clothing out of his hand. "Listen, um... Ben wanted me to tell you that I'm not mad at you for having hypothermia."

Adam blinked repeatedly. "What?"

"Uh, he said you were worried that I was upset at you for being weak or something? Which you're not. It's just a physiological reaction, it could happen to anyone who got fully soaked in this weather." Sam spent enough of his leisure time in winter sports to be well-trained in the risks of hypothermia and frostbite. Higher muscle mass did make someone less susceptible to heat loss, but that wouldn't help if you were submerged long enough for your core temperature to plummet. 

"Yes, I know that," said Adam, slightly exasperated. "Why would I be upset about that? That's crazy."

Sam relaxed. "That's what I thought, but I promised Ben I'd talk to you."

"Ohhhhhh," said Adam. "Oh, I get it. I see what's happening here."

"You do?"
 
"Ben wants you to tell me that it's okay because HE feels guilty about us toppling off that cliff," Adam said. "He thinks this is all his fault."
 
"... Huh." Ben was certainly capable of playing mind chess with his friends. He might have chosen a roundabout method to address something.

"Which isn't true, of course," Adam continued. "It was a stupid accident, that's all. It could have happened to anyone. He doesn't need to feel bad about it. You can tell him that, right?"

"Uh... why me?" Couldn't Adam say that himself?

Adam sighed. "Because you're our boss, Sam. You're the one who passes judgement here. You're the one who might fire us for blowing the production budget."

Sam rocked backwards slightly. "I'm not going to fire you." Yes, this was a business trip and this situation was expensive to fix, but if the budget couldn't handle setbacks, that was his fault for not having enough insurance and enough flexibility available to deal with unexpected circumstances. Poor planning on a manager's part did not constitute a failure for the employees! And anyway, some things were more important than money.  

"Then tell Ben that," said Adam. "Your opinion matters to him more than you realise."

"I guess," Sam said. Was that really what Ben was thinking, though? It didn't seem to match the way he behaved.

Feeling disoriented, Sam went in search of Ben. There were only so many public areas in the hotel, so it didn't take long to find him leaning up against a wall near the hotel gym.

"Hey, Sam," said Ben. "Did you want me to put those on to complete the set?"

Sam looked down at his hands and realised he was still carrying the pants that Adam had handed him. "Um... Adam wanted me to tell you that I'm not mad about you falling off the road on the cliff."

Ben looked blank. "Okay?"

This was going just as swimmingly as 'reassuring' Adam had before. "He said that you feel guilty because you think that it was your fault that you both fell."

"I don't actually know how we fell!" Ben said, chuckling a little. "Really, I don't remember anything. I was on the side of the road and then I was in the water. I don't remember falling at all." He paused. "Wait, was it my fault?"

"I don't know anything about that? I wasn't there," Sam pointed out. He'd been to the location to find Adam's phone, but that told him nothing about what the two boys were up to at the time, or how they could manage to both fall down a hill and into a lake. Had they been horsing around somehow? It wasn't important, though. It wasn't like he was going to deduct points. "Adam said it wasn't your fault, it was just an accident."

"I guess so," said Ben, but he didn't look entirely reassured.

Well, that was great. Sam was just delivering the messages he'd been asked to, but he was somehow managing to make people feel worse. And the messages weren't making sense! If Ben truly didn't know what had happened and hadn't even thought about it or asked Adam about it, he certainly wasn't wracked with guilt. So why did Adam say that he was? "Adam said you were afraid that I might fire you," he tried.

"No, I wasn't," Ben frowned. "Adam was the one who thought that. I told him that you wouldn't."

"So why did he say that?" Sam asked, frustrated.

Ben shrugged. "I don't know, reasons." He looked at Sam. "You know, he really wants your approval, more than he lets on."

And that, again, was just what Adam had said about Ben. But was it any more true than the other things they were telling him? Nothing made sense.

Ben smirked. "Also, you did say that if we ever lost our phones on a shoot you would literally murder us. We have that on public video record as a motive in the event of our demise."

"Your filming phones are fine, though," Sam said absently. He reached up to tug at the brim of his cap, shielding his eyes. "Anyway, I need to go sort out my underwear."

"You have fun with that," Ben snickered.

Sam walked back to his own hotel room and sat on the bed, then began organising his clothing for laundry purposes.  He wished his thoughts were quite as easy to put in order. What was going on with Ben and Adam? They knew each other so completely. So why were they using him as a go-between to send messages that were nonsense? Was this some side-effect of cold exposure? Hallucinations? Disordered thinking? But they seemed generally fine healthwise, as far as he could tell. No injuries, no illness, no slurred speech, no sign of lasting harm. Were they refusing to talk to each other for some reason? Ben and Adam? That made even less sense. A rift between them was a failure in the clockwork of the universe. 

Sam knew that he didn't have the best track record for understanding and predicting other people's emotions and behaviors. This was not his area of expertise. But who could he turn to for help? Who would know Ben and Adam well enough to guess what they were thinking, without being close enough that it would feel like a violation of privacy to go behind their backs for advice? No one, really. If he needed help with Ben and Adam, he needed help from Ben and Adam.

For efficiency's sake, he carried his clothes to the laundry room first - no need to bother the desk for special services now. Then, he did the only thing he could reasonably think of to do.

He called a production meeting.

Chapter Text

Sam had chosen to set up his 'office' in the empty seating area where breakfast would be served in the morning. No one was using it at this time of day, so it was easy to pick out a small round table, clean and bare, and pull the fourth chair away from it to leave it prepared for three. His laptop was open in front of him, but it wasn't plugged in and the screen was blank. He wasn't intending to take notes or make reports. It was a symbol more than anything. Only some of the overhead lights were on at this time of day, but the windows and ambient lighting were more than enough for their needs.

The hotel did have actual conference rooms available for daily rent, complete with whiteboards and bright lights and all the power sockets he could wish for, but even Sam thought that would be overly formal. 

He'd sent both Adam and Ben text messages to tell them where to report - if nothing else it was a good followup check on the phone situation. The hotel wasn't that large, so even if they weren't in quite the same place or didn't see their texts at exactly same time, it shouldn't take them long to arrive.

Adam was first to spot Sam's position, Ben lagging a little behind.

"Have a seat," Sam said. 

They both pulled out their chairs and sat down, Adam leaning more forward, elbows on his knees. "Are we making plans for tomorrow and what happens after checkout?"

"Not yet," said Sam. "First order of business is the two of you. I need to understand what's going on. Something's wrong here, and we're going to talk about it until it's resolved."

Ben's brows tightened. Adam slumped back in his seat with a scoffing noise. "Pulling rank again, Sam?"

"Only when I have to," said Sam. "I don't understand what's happening and we need to clear it up before we move ahead. Adam, you told me that Ben was afraid I would fire him. Ben never said that. So why did you claim that he had?"

Adam shook his head. "Really? You're going to make us sit here and play Poirot?"

"Poirot is Belgian," Ben pointed out.

Sam refused to be distracted. "Ben said that you were the one who was worried I might fire you, not him. Is that true?"

Adam tilted his head back and forth. "I said that, yes, I did say that, but I didn't - "

"He didn't really mean it," Ben cut in. 

"Don't speak for him," Sam said. "That's where this keeps going wrong. You two keep speaking for each other and mixing up the messages. Adam, just you, straight answer: are you worried that I'm going to fire you?"

Adam's lips stretched and curled like he'd bitten into a lemon. "I don't know," he said after amoment.

"Okay, well, let's just get this on the table," Sam said, readjusting his position. "I'm not firing anyone, I'm not murdering anyone, and I'm not mad at anyone. I'm a little less than thrilled because this has all been very inconvenient, but we're dealing with it. Okay?"

"Sure. Fine," said Adam. "Great. No problems."

And that didn't feel resolved at all, unfortunately. Sam turned to the other end of the problem. "Ben, you said Adam was worried that I would be angry at him for not being able to resist hypothermia better. But he was never worried about that. Why did you say that?"

"... I guess I was wrong?" Ben shrugged and looked away. Adam's gaze lingered on him, eyes softening with worry.

"Adam, you said that Ben was afraid I'd be angry at him for how y'all fell off the cliff. Ben was never afraid of that. He doesn't even remember how the fall happened."

"Wait, what? Ben?"

Ben gave Adam a cute little who-me shrug and a smile.

"So if he never said anything, why did you think Ben was worried about that? Did you think he ought to be?" Sam paused. "Were you worried about it?"

Adam pressed his hands on the table, palms down, fingers spread, and stared at them.

"Adam?" asked Ben. "What did happen? How did we fall?"

"It was just a stupid accident," Adam burst out, then took a deep breath. He continued, rattling off words without inflection: "You were looking at your phone and you stepped back and I yelled and that startled you and I tried to catch you and then we banged into each other and we both tumbled."

"So it was my fault?" said Ben.

"No! It wasn't anyone's fault. It was an accident," said Adam. He didn't sound like he believed it.

"It sounds like it was me who wasn't paying attention."

"I'm the one who knocked you off balance!" Adam argued. "If anyone's to blame - "

"But you're not - "

"Ben," said Sam loudly, cutting them both off. "Falling off is what Adam has been worrying about. If you didn't remember the fall, what have you been worried about? Why did you send me to talk to Adam? Did you think I'd blame him for having hypothermia?"

Ben paused, mouth hanging open. "No..." he said after a moment.

"Ben?" asked Adam.

Ben grimaced, running a hand through his messy hair. "I thought you'd blame me."

"Why?" asked Sam.

"Ben, nobody blames you - " Adam started.

"You should blame me!" Ben said. "You were suffering because I couldn't take good enough care of you. I didn't know what to do! You were so cold, and I was so scared, and I keep seeing you like that, curled up and shivering and - "

"How do you think I feel?" Adam asked. "I keep remembering that moment when your foot slipped and you were falling - "

"You were freezing - "

"And I couldn't save you," they finished in rough unison, then stared at each other, wide-eyed.

You were lost, and I couldn't find you, whispered Sam's traitorous heart. But this moment wasn't for him. This was for Ben and Adam. This was for seeing Adam clap Ben on the shoulder and pull the younger man in for a hug, and for knowing that his friends would be all right.

After giving them their moment, Sam continued. "So will you both agree that you don't blame each other, and I don't blame you, and nobody's mad at anybody?"

Adam smiled ruefully. "Well, it sounds silly when you put it like that."

"Yeah, we shuld make it more complicated," said Ben. "Needs gamification."

"Ben."

"And friendship tokens. Collectible tokens."

"Ben."

Well, they sounded like their normal selves again. It was time for Sam to make a discreet exit. "Okay, well, if that's resolved then I'll let y'all get back to your laundry while I - "

Adam's shoulders dropped like the air had been let out of him. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."

"Huh?" Why was Adam angry now? Wasn't the problem solved?

"You pull us in here, sit us down like kindergarteners and order us to kiss and make up, and then you immediately walk away?"

"I don't understand," said Sam."

"You always DO this!" Adam said, slapping the back of his hand against the table. "You tick us off your list and then - boom! - you're gone."

"I'm busy -"

"HOW are you busy now? You already decided that we're delaying the game for the night."

"- and I have a lot of work to do to make up for that delay," said Sam. "So do you."

"You don't think we could maybe help each other with that?"

"I think you'd be more comfortable without me," Sam said honestly.

Ben, who'd been slowly sliding down in his chair to avoid the argument, suddenly spoke up. "Why?"

"... you usually are?" What an odd question. Obviously they liked each other better than they liked Sam, and they accomplished more working together without Sam getting in the way. "You two are more on the same level - "

Adam folded his arms. "Right, because you're The Boss."

"Well, I am," said Sam. "Look, I'm sorry for interfering - "

"InterFERing?" said Adam, his voice rising so high that it squeaked. "Is that what you call it?"

"I - "

"The lake, Sam," said Ben, pushing himself back up to sit straight. "Are you sorry that you 'interfered' with us there?"

"Of course not," said Sam, confused. Was he missing something? "I mean, unless you didn't want me to."

"Oh, right, because I wanted to freeze my fucking ass off," said Adam, narrowing his eyes.

"We wanted your help," said Ben. "We needed your help. Then and now."

"Then why is Adam so upset?"

"Because you keep leaving!" Adam threw his hands up.

"When I left you two at the hotel to go back for your bags?" Sam looked from one face to the other, feeling increasingly lost. "I was - those things needed doing. It was the best use of my time."

"But was that really why you left?" Ben asked. "Is that why you want to leave now? Because this isn't the best use of your time?"

"I - I did my part. The two of you don't need me now."

"'But now I must go.' Fuckin' cowboy. It's not even sunset," said Ben.

Adam leaned forward. "We needed you. Can't you ever, just a little bit, need us?"

Sam's mouth opened, wordless. What was Adam saying? Of course he needed them. But... "I rely on you all the time," he tried. "Both of you are extremely valued employees."

Adam groaned in frustration, putting his head down on his arms on the table.

"I don't know what you two want from me," Sam said.

"Don't you get it?" said Ben. "It's not 'us' and 'you'. It's all of us, all the time. Not two. Three."

But it wasn't and it couldn't be. There was professionalism. There were boundaries. There had to be.

Adam lifted his head. "You can still be the boss," he said quietly. "You can still pull rank when you have to. Sometimes we need that. Sometimes we get stuck and we need someone else to sort us out. Just - stop pulling away from us all the time. You're part of us too."

"And do what instead?" Sam asked. He couldn't give ground, not now. "Sit here and argue all day? We've all got better things to do! You have to sort out your clothes and verify your equipment. We've got to set up preparations to resume filming tomorrow. I need you to do your work."

Adam sighed. "Fine. Fine. Have it your way." He stood up and roughly shoved his chair back under the table. "I'll just go recalibrate my lenses or something." Shoulders tense, he stomped out of the breakfast area.

Ben was still sitting in place, watching Sam with a little smirk.

"What are you looking at?" Sam asked.

"You know what they say, Sam," Ben drawled. "It takes one to know one."

"Takes one what?" He had absolutely no idea what Ben was implying, which to be fair was a common occurrence.

Ben shrugged. "So. Are you gonna leave?"

Was that a trick question? "I can't just sit here. I have things to do."

"It's your choice, Sam," Ben said, watching his face. "It always has been."

Those eyes were completely unfair. Why did they have to be so intense? Sam turned his head away. "I'll talk to you later," he said, and stood. He picked up his laptop and walked back in the direction of his room, not looking back.

Everything was basically back to normal. He'd succeeded. He'd faced a challenge and he'd triumphed and everything was going to be okay. That was what he wanted. Wasn't it?

Ben leaned back against the headboard of the hotel bed, scrolling through twitter while keeping a discreet eye on Adam. As far as he could tell, Adam seemed fine now, sitting on the floor in front of the bed. No lasting chill or cough, no more looking nervous any time that Ben was out of his line of sight. He didn't even seem that mad at Sam anymore. Adam's emotions tended to be stormy: big noise, burned hot, blew themselves out quickly. An hour after Sam's 'production meeting', it was a thing of the past. 

Ben moved his toes over and wiggled them to tease Adam's hair. Adam slapped at his foot, but not hard. "How you doing, buddy?" he asked.

"So good. I love the internet. I need it in my veins," Ben moaned. "I'm thinking about having this phone tethered to me in a waterproof lockbox, like the nuclear codes, so I can never lose access again."

Adam snorted. "Maybe I should handcuff you to me so I can't lose you either."

Ben choked down a laugh. Phrasing, Adam? "I wouldn't complain," he teased.

"Yeah, and then chain Sam down too so he can't run away," Adam grumbled.

"I wouldn't complain about that either, but you might. What if we started pulling you in different directions?"

"Huh?"

Ben waved a hand. "If you've got me chained to one wrist and Sam on the other, we might just pull you apart. And you'd have a hard time eating without our permission."

Adam groaned. "I wasn't being literal, Ben."

"Too bad. Though it would be a problem for Hide and Seek."

"Yeah," said Adam. "Gonna be a weird day tomorrow, since we have to wait around doing nothing until the times match up. Bet Sam finds an excuse to avoid us then, too."

"Well, he wouldn't want to give us any hint of which direction he has to go to hide," Ben said. "Too bad your phone died and took the clock with it. If I knew exactly how long it took him to reach our position after I called him, we could use that for our distance calculations."

"Ben! That's cheating."

"I call it making strategic use of disadvantages. There's probably a Sun Tzu quote about it." Ben crawled forward to put his elbows on the end of the bed, his head near Adam's. "Think I should ask Sam if he's got two beds in his room?"

Adam laughed. "He would never let you share his room."

"Oh, he would if I asked very nicely," Ben said. "But who says I meant me?"

"Not a chance, buddy. Not a chaaaaaaaance." Adam shook his head. "Besides, I can't leave you by yourself. No idea what you might get up to. I want to know where you are."

"Awww." Apparently he was still a little unsettled from the accident. It was probably the falling part. Ever since they'd gone bungee jumping in Singapore, Adam had been extra sensitive about that sort of thing. Ben might have been bothered by it too if he could remember. Convenient brain editing for the win! "Anything exciting on Swiss TV?"

"Not really, I - "

Someone knocked on the door.

Ben and Adam looked at each other. "You get it," said Ben.

"You're closer."

"Your feet are on the ground. I'm in bed." Ben rolled over onto his back and dangled his head backwards off the edge of the bed, which gave him an amusing view-angle of Adam as he stood up, giving in.

Adam slapped playfully at Ben's thigh as he walked past to get the door. Ben couldn't see anything but the ceiling, but he heard the surprise in his friend's voice. "Oh! Sam? Did you - did you need something?"

"Um, hi. Can I come in?"

"Sure...?"

Ben tensed his stomach muscles, struggling to sit up and spin around on the bed as fast as possible. He had to be a part of this.

Sam held up a paper bag, offering it to Adam. "I, ah, I bought this for you. Basler Läckerli. It's a Swiss delicacy. I thought you might like it."

"Oh!" Adam blinked. "Well, thank you. That's very thoughtful."

"And for Ben," he brought up another, differently-shaped bag. "I didn't get the glowworms because those were Adam's and I'm not - I didn't want to presume - but I felt bad about having to throw those out, so I bought you some gummy bears and these little cola frogs."

"I have always wanted to lick a frog," said Ben, reaching greedily for his treats. He peered inside at the translucent brown candy frogs. "Oh, they're delightful."

"Aren't you supposed to kiss the frog?" Adam asked.

"Depends on what you're trying to get out of it," said Ben. "I don't want a dozen Swiss princesses appearing in my lap."

"Also, Switzerland has never had a royal family," said Sam. "So you can't have Swiss princesses."

"There you go. If I kiss these frogs, I would be upending history, and nobody wants that."

Adam smiled fondly at him before turning back to Sam. "Well, thank you for stopping by."

"Actually..." Sam fidgeted with his hat. "Is it okay if I... stay and hang out for a while?"

Adam blinked. Ben grinned. "Of course, Sam. You're always welcome. All for one and one for all."

Sam let go of his hat. "Fun fact," he said, scratching his eyebrow. "That's actually the unofficial motto of Switzerland."

"Oh? How did that happen?" Ben asked.

He knew the answer already, actually. It was something that had come up in his research for the Switzerland season. But sometimes, as long as the cameras weren't rolling, you had to let your friends have a win.