Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kanis returned to prison, with nothing but a cast and a smirk. Helmut returned to his side, but the old man still had to take it easy, doctor’s orders. Though Kanis did not flinch at the imposing Dr. Squash, he complied without complaint. But which still meant someone would have to take Helmut outside to stretch his legs. And the only one happy to do it was Simeon.

Friday. The weather was nice. Recess for the convicts. Simeon walked Helmut outside, and his wandering stroll ran right into Bronco. He reclined against the very well he had been tossed in, snoring. Guess even ghosts enjoyed naps in the sun.

A devious light bulb lit up above Simeon’s head.

He gave a silent command to Helmut.

The dog wandered over to Bronco, both parties completely unaware of each other. Sniffing the grass, Helmut pawed at the ground before he--

“Zzzz...zzzz—huh, what…? Gah--!!” cried Bronco as he shot to the top of the well head. Pointing at Helmut, he yelled, “Bad dog, bad dog! Go take a crap elsewhere!! Si, do something!”

“Don’t look at me! I’m not an animal tamer anymore!” He shrugged with a shit-eating grin.

“You did this, I know it!”

“Call it payback for almost making me die of fright, then.”

Bronco growled, but dejectedly floated back to the ground. Taking extra care to keep a wide girth between him and the dog, he instead leaned against the opposite wall. “And I thought Luke was the petty bitch around here.”

“What did that walking hair disaster do this time?”

“He cheated at chess...in the worse way possible.”

“How? In that he succeded?”

“He fucking ATE my pieces when I wasn’t looking!”

“...seriously?”

“Seriously! How dare he disrespect my chess set! That’s the only damn thing I’ve got left in this world!”

“I mean, I didn’t think him the type.” He leveled a look at Bronco.

“...what’s that supposed to mean.”

“It means out of every convict here, you’re the one most likely to get off on sticking chess pieces up your—”

A shrill yell cut through the air. Everyone turned towards the sound; Frank Sahwit, standing in the middle of the courtyard, sans toupee. And where was his beloved hairpiece? Smack in the middle of the face of an enormous, imposing figure. When the hair fell, the furious expression on Furio Tigre’s face put a tiger’s to shame. Frank’s own expression collapsed into mortifying fear, and at the tiger’s mighty roar, ran for his life, the other man not far behind.

“Ooh, free entertainment.” Bronco reclined mid air, as thought laying in an invisible hammock.

“...Why are you here?”

“And miss baldy getting mauled?”

“I meant why you’re here, in general.”

“...I don’t follow.”

Simeon rolled his eyes. “Here! In this prison! You can literally walk through walls, not to mention people, yet here you stay, as through to torture my waking life.”

“One, don’t flatter yourself, I’m not here because of you. And two, I...uh, can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Go beyond the prison. It’s like...a force field?” Bronco fiddled with his fingers. Simeon could tell Bronco missed slinging his beloved gun around. “Believe me, I’ve tried. You think I want to be stuck with those two? The only way for me past these walls is to get channeled.”

“Channeled?”

“Yeah, which brings us back to my first point.”

“You mean your spirit was...channeled? And now you’re stuck here?”

“More or less.”

Simeon let the information sink in as he scratched Helmut behind the ears. “Who on earth would want to channel you, of all people?”

“Mr. FancyPants and...whatshisname, the guy who was gonna be your defense lawyer, I think.”

“Why? I can’t think of a bigger waste of time.”

“They asked about y…” Bronco’s lips went tight. “About a bunch of stuff. The president, Laguarde, that bastard Ro…” Suddenly, his eyes widened. “Oh.”

“What?”

“I...think it was to prosecute...you.”

“How chivalrous of you to rat out your best friend.”

“Oh, you wish.” He crossed his arms with a huff. “Now that I think about it, I don’t regret it, weird as it was.”

“Weird how?”

“Imagine one minute your drowning in the endless void, and the next you get sucked into the body of a complete stranger. Normally, I wouldn’t complain about being inside a cute girl, but not like that!”

“A girl?” Simeon paused in petting Helmut.

“Yeah. Maya Fey. A spirit medium in training. She’s also friends with Edgeworth.”

“I...did not expect that man to have such company.”

“Tell me about it. Anyway, like I said, she was still in training, so when she went to send me on my merry way, she messed up and I ended up in the same place I died instead. And here I am.”

“So it’s that little girl’s fault I’m stuck with you?”

“’Ey, don’t diss on Maya.” Bronco straightened. “She may look like a hippie chick, but she’s actually pretty cool. She let me chill here instead of getting sent back to hell, and even channels me so I can see the outside world every now and then.” He leaned on his elbow with a grin, staring off wistfully. “Honestly, if I wasn’t dead, I wouldn’t mind having a coffee with her.”

“...Oh, really?” He said, not noticing Helmut raise his ears at Simeon’s sour tone.

“Yeah, but she’s already seein’ someone, so, oh well.” He shrugged.

“Thank goodness for her.”

An odd smirk crept on Bronco’s face. “Hey, take a guess who she’s banging?”

“Hmm, let me guess, our favorite prosecutor?”

“Close!” He leaned over as though telling a secret. “His little sister!”

“What?!”

“I know!” Bronco laughed. “Well, step-sister apparently. But trust me, the resemblance is there. She’s a total ice queen. And she’ll whip your ass in a heartbeat, literally!”

“...wait,” Simeon’s eye brows slowly rose. “You don’t mean Franziska von Karma?!”

“You know her?”

“She helped that pathetic prosecutor get me arrested, how could I not?!”

“Wow. Small world, huh?”

“And she’s dating your little friend?”

“Yeah. Can’t see me outside of her girlfriend’s body, though. But I saw her one time when she came by the prison, along with Maya. When Maya was around, she was more like a...like just an ice person.”

“’Ice person’? Are you sure your father was Artie Frost?”

“I’m just saying the crazy lady has a soft spot for Maya. I’m not into that mushy stuff, but even I have to admit it’s kinda cute.”

Simeon snorted dryly. “’Cute’? Are you sure you’re not just saying that in hopes they’ll let you in for a threesome?”

“...I mean, I wouldn’t say no if they—”

“Gross.”

“Hey! You’re the one who said it, not me! Maybe you’re the one who wants in!”

“I’m gay, you moron!”

“Then why don’t you go back to your dick harem so they can fuck out the cactus stuck up your ass! Oh, wait—you don’t! Because you’re a raging asshole with the hair of a Hot Topic cashier!”

“Excuse me?!” Simeon grasped at his hair furiously. “It’s not my fault I haven’t been able to keep up with dying my hair! We’re in a prison, not a salon!”

“Maybe that’s a good thing! Your bad hair will finally match the color of your soul!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment!”

“Sounds more like a fuck you!”

“Fuck y--!”

There came a sudden thud from the courtyard. Both men looked up just in time to see Tigre body slam Frank to the dirt ground...and narrowly missing. He howled with rage, and Frank moved to sprint, but before anyone could make another movement, guards had seized their arms and restrained them.

“Aw, man!” groaned Bronco. “You made us miss the whole show!”

“Not my problem. We’ve both got better things to do.”

“Such as?”

“Go back to being a useless bodyguard to the bleach boys, I’m going to resume my walk with Helmut. Isn’t that right, boy?”

“Rrroof!” barked the dog as he jumped upon Simeon’s shoulders to lick at his cheek.

“Ack! Down, boy, that tickles!” Simeon giggled. The dog complied, sitting obediently at his side. “Aw, you’re a good boy, aren’t you? Yes, you are! Come on, let’s go on the niiiice little walk you deserve!”

“Hey!” yelled Bronco, but Simeon walked right through him. Bronco turned around to continue, “For the record, those guys WISH I was their bodyguard! They’re idiots, but not me! Are you listening?!”

Simeon simply chuckled to himself.

“What’s wrong, young pup?” asked Kanis. “You’ve hardly touched your food.”

Simeon sighed, poking at his measly tray. At least Kanis had managed to sneak a few spice packets to flavor the globs that barely counted as nutrition. But they weren’t enough to stoke Simeon’s appetite.

“Pray tell, little one, what’s wrong?”

“...I’m on a diet?”

“Keh!” Kanis smirked. “You poor thing, your deceit has fallen out of practice. Besides, if anyone needs a diet, it’s Helmut.”

Helmut, who had been laying at his feet, suddenly perked up and laid his head atop his master’s lap.

“Oh, but how can we resist spoiling such a cute face? Isn’t that right?” He paused. “...Pup?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.”

“Oh, don’t be so down, pup. Sure, your first murder was less than a success, but it was an excellent effort nevertheless. I’m quite proud of you.”

“What does he have to do with anything?” snapped Simeon.

“Aha! So it is about the little colt!”

“Nngh!” Simeon cringed as though struck with a knife through the chest. “Wait...can you repeat that?”

“Hmm? About your murder being unsuccessful? I cannot say I recommend lingering on failure, boy.”

“So...you’ve seen him around? Bronco?”

“Why, how do you expect me to see anyone with my...condition?” he smirked.

Simeon face palmed; he could only pray if the day came that he should die at Kanis’s hand, that it’s free of any dad jokes. “Fine, you know him?”

“Yes. He came here about...a month before your arrival. When we realized we had been playing our chess match through you, we decided to simply resume where we had left off. I must say, he’s a rather fun opponent, in person and on paper. Though I haven’t heard from him since you arrived.”

“Huh…”

“You aren’t scaring off my chess mate, are you?”

“If anyone’s scaring anyone, it’s him, the freak.”

“My, my! I may be blind, but I don’t believe he’s that hideous.”

Simeon narrowed his eyes. “Can he...tell Bronco’s a ghost? Or that he’s dead?”

“Pup? Are you alright?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He picked up his milk carton. “Just don’t wanna talk about Bronco.”

“Really, now? Because I believe he wishes to talk to you.”

Simeon glanced to his side, and spat out his lukewarm milk. Standing next to their table was Richard, Luke, and one very stubborn ghost.

“’Sup, old man.” said Bronco.

“Always a pleasure, little colt. Although I believe I’m not the one you’re seeking, am I?”

“’fraid not.”

“Next time then.”

Bronco nodded back before squaring his sights on Simeon. “Si, we need to have a talk.”

“Why? Isn’t that what those two buffoons are for? Gossip?”

“Silence!” snapped Luke. He glared at Simeon through his puny magnifying glass, his beady brown eye boring into him. “You’d best keep your mouth shut, you rudely ridiculous rascal!”

Bronco loudly cleared his throat. “Si, you and I are gonna have an overdue chat, or else.”

“Or else what? Not like you can touch me.”

“No, but these two can.”

Richard fluffed his hair while Luke adjusted his monocle with delicate fingers, both men smirking.

“...PffthaHAHA!!” Simeon bent over laughing, joined by Kanis.

Bronco scowled, while his friends behind him looked mortally wounded.

Simeon banged his fist against the table. “Aha...ha ha...oh my god, that’s rich. Congrats, Bronco, you finally got me to lauHAHAH--!”

Kanis wiped tears from his eyes. “Kehehehe--! Oh, do excuse me, young colt, but even I can tell your friends are not so violently inclined.”

Luke huffed, “Excuse you, but I was the vice president of the college boxing club! I have not the quietest qualm in showing mercy to you.”

“Yeah!” chimed Richard. “I mean, he’s lying about the boxing part, but we’ll, like, totally beat your asses!”

“How dare you accuse me of such a lowly crime as lying?!”

“You literally did that trying to get away with theft!”

“It was to get away with murder, you blasphemous blubbering baffoon!”

“Guys, can we just focus for thirty seconds and--!” barked Bronco, but it was too late. Luke and Richard devolved into a slapping match, making pathetic grunts at each pass.

Simeon cupped his chin in his hands, leaning on his elbows. “Ooh, dinner and a show? Why thank you, Bronco!”

“Shut UP!!”

“Don’t—” said Luke, but his purple prose was cut short at Luke shoving him in the chest. “WhoaAahaoh--!” He flailed as he stumbled backwards, until gravity won the battle and he fell square on his ass. But not before grasping at the table to try and stop his fall, yet accidentally flipping a food tray sitting precariously on the edge. It catapulted a projectile of edible sludge through the air. The slop soared in a perfect arch before landing dead center on the crown of Rocco Carcerato’s head.

“Gyah--!” yelled Rocco. The moment the slop hit, he spun around, head jerking in every direction for the culprit. “Oi, what kinda coward starts a fight from the back? If ya’ wanna fight, then come and take me head on! Fight me!”

“...FOOD FIIIIGHT!”

“Wha’? That’s not what I—”

SPLAT! Went another blob, landing square in his face. The air soon filled with barely nutritious projectiles and milk cartons and anything else a convict could get their grubby hands on.

Simeon yelped, dumping his tray to hold above his head as a shield. “Well, Bronco? Happy—” An apple core bounced off his tray, making him flinch. “—now?”

“Not really!” Bronco cried, despite every single item hurling through him like air. He wildly looked around, blanching at seeing Luke and Richard already drafted into the food fight. Running a hand through his hair, he turned back around, “Si’, we gotta get out of he—”

“Kanis!” Simeon ignored Bronco. “We have to get out of here!”

“Oh, I don’t know. I find this rather entertai—”

“’Scuse me, pops!” A man with three large scars on his right eye snatched at his food tray before chucking the plastic cup of a brownish gold substance to the opposite side of the cafeteria.

Kanis’s face immediately fell.

“Sir…?” asked Simeon.

“...I changed my mind.” Gracefully, Kanis stood from his seat. Helmut followed. “Excuse me for a moment, young pup. I have a coffee-honey greek yogurt to avenge.”

“Sir, are you seriou—whoa!” Simeon narrowly missed a smushed banana whizzing past his face. He cowered, feeling his heart race and his hands tremble. The man desperately fought the urge to cover his ears, or his eyes, anything to make it all go away.

Something cold grazed his shoulder. He flinched.

It was Bronco, hand still outstretched to get Simeon’s attention.

“What do you wa—”

“Don’t just sit there! C’mon!”

Simeon bit his lip, the cries of prison food warfare making his ears ring. Scowling, he jumped from his seat. He dashed after Bronco, whizzing through the air, wildly searching for shelter. A tray was frisbeed past Simeon’s head, knocking his own tray from his hands with a clatter. He yelped before covering his head with his hands and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Si! In here!”

Simeon followed Bronco’s voice.

THUD—”Oof!”--SLAM!

Simeon opened his eyes. It was so dark he couldn’t see, but he could certainly feel the wall he just ran into right in front of him. Rubbing his sore nose, he heard a click, and turned around. A single, dangling light bulb flickered to life, barely illuminating the storage closet they stood in.

“I...I think we’re safe.” Bronco looked around. “Just need to lay low until it dies down out there.”

“...On second thought, I’ll take my chances outside.”

“Wait, what? Why?”

“I’d rather spend a week in that no-man’s land then be stuck here with you for another minute.” Despite his glower, sweat ran down his neck at the thought. He marched through Bronco.

“Really? This the thanks I get for saving your ass?”

Simeon grabbed the knob, turned, and... “Huh?” He jiggled the knob again and pushed.

“What’s up?”

“The door won’t open! It’s not locked but—” He shoved his shoulder against the door with a grunt, but it didn’t budge. “It’s stuck!”

“Lemme see that—” Bronco stuck his head through the door. As Simeon backed away, he saw Bronco’s body jump in surprise. He retreated, frowning. “Son of a bitch.”

“What?”

“No, I mean there’s a literal son of a bitch blocking the door! Some giant bastard’s out cold against the door!”

“Seriously?!”

“See for yourself!”

“…”

“...okay, fair point. But you get the picture!”

“Oh, I get the picture, alright.” He shoved a finger in Bronco’s face. “You did this on purpose!”

“What? Why the hell would I lock us in some dingy closet?”

“To ‘have a talk with me’?” Simeon used exaggerated air quotes. “Or else your loons would ‘fight’ me?”

“What? No! And I honestly wasn’t planning to sic them on you! Just, I dunno, convince you?”

“For someone so good at this elaborate chess game, you’re a bad liar, Bronco. Otherwise I’d be impressed.”

“Fine! If this is some chess game, then what’s my end goal? Become your BFF?”

“I’ll tell you what it is,” Simeon spat. “You just can’t get off your high horse, can’t you? Just can’t help rubbing it in my face, each and every day!”

“Rubbing what in?”

“Yourself! You think you’ve got it soooo good, don’t you? Surviving death and all that? And even managing a few pathetic loser friends?”

“Luke and Rick, yes. But—”

“Shove it! You think you’ve got it made, and the cherry on top? Getting to show off your measly accomplishments to the man who betrayed you your whole life!! Revenge, karma, whatever you want to call it, but I am sick of...of...ah...ah-CHOO!” Simeon sneezed, surprised to find his whole body shivering. His threadbare prison jumpsuit did nothing to protect him from the chill in the air. He could see his breath, and Bronco glaring at him. Hands in fists, mouth a tight line, and ice emanating from his ghostly being. Or rather, his lifeless soul was sucking up any and all warmth surrounding them.

“...are you done?” asked Bronco through gritted teeth.

“Sniff...w-why do you care?” He rubbed his arms.

“Because I was your friend!!” Bronco roared, the temperature dropping inversely with his volume. “All those years, I was your friend, I thought I was your friend, because you sure as hell was mine! You were back then, and were afterwards, too! But this whole time, how was I supposed to know the one guy who I considered my best friend hated every inch of my fucking guts when he never even said a single word?!”

Simeon glared at the floor.

“Well? Anything to say for yourself now?”

“...If you’re expecting me to forgive you, then you’re wasting your non-existent breath.”

“What?”

“You remembered, didn’t you? It doesn’t take a kindergartner to put two and two together!” Simeon hissed through chattering teeth. “That’s what you’ve been trying to do, hasn’t it? To earn my forgiveness from that one fateful day? You’d have better luck finding a unicorn grazing in the prison courtyard-d-d!” Simeon shivered.

“I. Beg. Your. Biggest. Pardon?!” growled Bronco. Foggy breath seeped past his teeth like the smoke from an angry dragon.

“W-W-What?”

“You? Forgive me? If anyone needs forgiveness, it’s you!”

“M--M--Me? What did I d-d-do? I was six years old, B-B-Bronco!”

“So was I!! And sure, now I know that doesn't excuse my actions, but at least I didn’t use that as an excuse to go psycho on practical strangers, let alone your friend! You...you used me, Si! And I hate being treated like a pawn! Life isn’t one big chessboard!”

“That s-s-sounds weird, coming from y-y-you.”

“I’m well aware, but are you?”

“Of w-w-what?”

“That this isn’t a game! Or if it is, then it’s over! I know I can be a sore loser sometimes, but holding onto a grudge for years? That’s ridiculous! You could have just talked to me, Si! I would have listened! Heck, I might have even helped you!”

“Y-Y-You...would?”

“Not anymore.” Bronco snatched the front of Simeon’s shirt, and, after a second of resistance, his fingers found purchase and pulled Simeon up. The cold seeped into Simeon’s skin, right above his heart, and he couldn’t breathe.

Simeon squeezed his eyes shut.

“Look me in the eyes, Si. Before I turn you into a human popsicle.”

Simeon hesitantly obeyed.

Bronco glared right through Simeon. Frost crept along his skin, making his ghostly form look even paler. The lightbulb flickered weakly, and when it did so, Simeon’s eyes widened at seeing Bronco’s ghostly skeleton glowing in the split second of dark, right beneath his ghastly flesh.

Simeon felt what he thought was cold sweat run down his face, but they were really his tears.

“...Tsk!” Bronco dropped Simeon to the floor.

Simeon grasped at his chest, gasping for air.

“You’re not even worth the trouble.”

“W...Why…?”

“Why what?”

With great effort, Simeon looked up. “Why won’t you kill me?! You could, but then you change your mind? None of this makes any fucking sense!!”

“Guess it wouldn’t to you.” Bronco stared down at Simeon like a disappointed parent. “But unlike you, I’m trying. I’m trying to be a better man than I was alive. And you can’t stop me. Because I’m dead. I’ve got nothing left to lose, not even my best friend in the whole wide world.”

“B-But don’t you want to? Take revenge? Get even?”

“No. I do what I want, and again, there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“S-So what? You’re showing mercy just because you want to? Is that fucking all!?”

Bronco looked away. “...old habits die hard. What’s left to say?”

“...Just get out of my sight.”

“Oh, with pleasure.” Bronco turned and floated through the door. As he vanished, so to did the illuminating glow of his form, leaving the closet darker and darker until Simeon was left in a pitch black closet.

Simeon got to his feet. His lungs felt far too tight. He grasped in the air for the light switch, finally feeling the cord in his palm.

Click!

…

Click!

…

Click, click, click--!

“Damn it!”

Cli—SNAP!

Simeon’s heart dropped at the feeling of the cord going slack in his hand. He looked around, feeling the walls he could not see closing in on him. The only one not was the door.

He took a deep breath, then charged towards the door.

The moment his body made contact, it swung open.

Simeon was blinded from the sudden light, but he clearly saw stars as he fell face first on the hard ground.

“Owww...Son of a…!” Simeon pushed himself up. He looked up, and once the stars faded, saw Nurse Niedler pulling a large man with purple, pompous hair onto a stretcher.

“Whoa! Mr. Saint, are you okay? Do you need stitches? I’ll go get my—”

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” he said, scrambling to his feet.

“Really? Well, if you change your mind, just say the word! Just have to get Mr. White to the nurse’s office first.” She secured the man’s limbs to the stretcher, tightly. “Dr. Quash got word that not only was he out cold, but that an inmate was stuck, too!”

“She...did?”

“Yes! Don’t know how she knew, especially with all the injured patients from the cafeteria! I’ve seen a lot as a nurse, but I’ve never seen such injuries from a yogurt cup, of all things!”

“Wh...Where’s Bronco?”

“Huh?” She blinked. “Bronco? You mean the Revned Broncos? I didn’t take you for a sports fan, Mr. Saint!”

“N—never mind.” “She can’t see him, you idiot!”

“Mr. Saint, are you sure you’re alright? I can fix you up lickety-split, no problem!”

“I...I just want to go back to my cell, thank you.”

That night, the evening air was warm, yet Simeon shivered all through his sleep.