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STAR TREK: STAR BASE 80, Seasons 4 through 6

Summary:

Star Trek: Lower Decks spin-off teleplay*

There is a station, a remote outpost, straddling the border between the alpha and beta quadrants, and indeed, straddling the very notion of linear time: Star Base 80. Home to displaced time travelers, Section 31, and the occasional Starfleet washout, this space station is a strange new world unto itself.

Notes:

This is a continuation of Part 1, which contains Seasons 1 through 3.

*I began this project in May of 2024, before the 5th season of Lower Decks came out, with Episode 5 making Star Base 80 more than an occasional reference. And while I thoroughly enjoyed the 'Star Base 80?' episode, I've become rather attached to this little project, and thus declare this spin-off to be part of the Kelvin time line. Please imagine lens flares as appropriate.

Chapter 1: STAR TREK: Star Base 80  Season 4 Episode 1 Old Friends

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80  Season 4 Episode 1 Old Friends

EXT., A THIEVES’ MARKET ON TAGMAR VI, NIGHT

A back-alley market where the galaxy’s criminal element congregate and do business. The stalls are filled with aliens hawking contraband of all sorts.

NACK makes his way through the din of commerce until he is stopped by a KELPIAN SLAVE TRADER with an assortment of scantily clad SLAVE GIRLS on display.

KELPIAN SLAVE TRADER
My friend, look no further. The galaxy’s most beautiful women can be yours,
for a very reasonable price. 

The SLAVE GIRLS vamp and preen on cue.

NACK
Enchanting, but not what I’m looking for.

KELPIAN SLAVE TRADER
Ah! Not to worry, I have you covered. 

The KELPIAN SLAVE TRADER whistles sharply. The SLAVE GIRLS retreat and are replaced by a line-up of barely clad, muscular SLAVE BOYS, who flex and posture for their potential buyer.

NACK
Actually, I’m in search of a Gelrakian sub-processor. Ideally something from
the twenty-two sixties in mint condition. Or at least, good working order.

KELPIAN SLAVE TRADER
I might know someone who could help you with that. For a finder’s fee.

NACK slips a few slips of latinum into the KELPIAN SLAVE TRADER's palm.

KELPIAN SLAVE TRADER
The Bajoran in the last stall on the left. He can get whatever you need.

NACK nods and heads through the slave market to the last stall.  As he walks away, the KELPIAN SLAVE TRADER picks up his communicator.

KELPIAN SLAVE TRADER
He’s here.

ROLL OPENING CREDITS

INT., SICKBAY

COOPER and MAAL are working at their desks when CH’THANE’s voice comes over comms.

CH’THANE
Medical, prepare to receive patients. The Lisbon is incoming from
the Klingon/Cardassian front, and they’ve got wounded.

COOPER
(Tapping his comm badge)
Yes, Sir. We’ll meet them at the docking bay.

COOPER and MAAL spring into action. COOPER grabs his field kit, and MAAL prepares a gurney.

EXT., THE THEIVES' MARKET ON TAGMAR VI.

NACK approaches the BAJORAN TRADER.

BAJORAN TRADER
Whatever it is you’re looking for, I can get it. For a price.

NACK
Good, because I understand you’re the man to talk to about -

NACK is interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. Turning, he sees two KLINGON MOB ENFORCERS.

KLINGON MOB ENFORCER 1
The Boss wants to talk to you.

INT., SICKBAY

The place is bustling. COOPER, the EMH, and MAAL tend to injured crewmen in biobeds, while crewmen from the Lisbon continue to stream into Sickbay.

The door chimes and a LISBON ENGINEER enters. COOPER breaks away from the patient he’s tending to and greets him.

COOPER
Dr. Jeffrey Cooper. How can I help?

LISBON ENGINEER
I fell when we lost shields. I’m fine, but the XO said I had to get cleared by Medical -

COOPER
A closed head injury is nothing to take lightly.
We’ll check for signs of concussion and then get you in a scanner for imaging.

COOPER begins shining a light in the LISBON ENGINEER’s eyes, when the Sickbay door chimes again and TYRA KEXX, an attractive Trill Lieutenant, enters.  One of her sleeves is rolled up. 

COOPER
(To the LISBON ENGINEER)
Wait here for a moment.

COOPER
(To TYRA)
Hi, Dr. Cooper. How can I help?

TYRA
(Holding up her arm)
Coolant burn.

COOPER
My assistant will take care of you. Maal?

TYRA’s face lights up with surprise and recognition as MAAL approaches.

TYRA
Maal? Maalum Aron?

INT., A MOB BAR.

The small and dark bar is sparsely populated, mostly by KLINGON MOB ENFORCERS.

NACK, shadowed by the two KLINGON ENFORCERS, passes through the bar to the back office. A VOICE comes over the intercom.

VOICE
Oh, good, he’s here. Send him right in.

INT., THE BACK OFFICE

NACK enters the small back office to find a figure sitting in a chair with his back to the door. The figure in the chair turns around, and NACK finds himself face-to-face with NERO VOSS, a large, well-dressed, and convivial Denobulan. 

VOSS
Nack, my old friend. Come in, come in.

NACK
Nero Voss. To what do I owe the pleasure?

VOSS
It’s been far too long. Come, this office is a little cramped for my taste.

VOSS indicates a narrow staircase at the back of the office.

VOSS
Shall we?

NACK
After you.

INT., SICKBAY

MAAL freezes in reaction to being recognized by the TRILL LIEUTENANT.

MAAL
(Hesitantly)
Tyra Kexx?

TYRA
Oh wow, it is you!

COOPER
You guys know each other?

MAAL
Yeah, uh, Tyra and I kind of went through the Academy at the same time.

COOPER nods and returns to the LISBON ENGINEER to resume checking for concussion.

TYRA
What do you mean, “kind of went through the Academy at the same time?”
You were in, like, all of my classes! How are you?

MAAL
Oh, um, not - not bad.

A biobed alarm chirps, and COOPER steps away from the LISBON ENGINEER to attend to the patient in it.

COOPER
(To the LISBON ENGINEER)
I’ll be back.

TYRA
(To MAAL)
Wow, so the rumors are true, huh? They really did banish you to Star Base 80. 

MAAL
Well, uh, I guess. I mean, here I am, so -

TYRA
Do you know what this means?

MAAL
No, what?

TYRA
Braxley Jennings owes me a bottle of Berellian ale! He is going to flip when I tell him.

MAAL manages a weak smile at this.

INT., THE PENTHOUSE ABOVE THE BAR.

The upstairs room is lavishly furnished, with large bay windows at the far end.

VOSS gestures toward a seating arrangement, and he and NACK sit down.  A scantily-clad ANDORIAN GIRL brings a bottle of Romulan ale and two glasses, fills them, and leaves.

VOSS
You simply must try this Romulan Ale. It’s a rare vintage - very hard to get.

NACK
I’m trying to cut back.

VOSS
Pity. It really is delightful.  Now, my friend, how have you been?

NACK
Ah, you know, busy. Lotta irons in the fire. You?

VOSS
Also busy. I suppose when one deals in vice, there’s never really an off-season, now, is there?

NACK
You know, if you wanted to see me, you could’ve just called.

VOSS
Oh, I suppose. But I prefer the personal touch.

NACK
Speaking of, since when do you use Klingon enforcers?

VOSS
Ah, that’s a rather recent change in operations. I find that they’re less… shall we say,
squeamish, about certain unpleasant but regrettably necessary aspects of the job.

At this moment, two more KLINGON ENFORCERS enter, dragging a screaming BOLIAN past VOSS and NACK.

BOLIAN
No! No, I’m sorry! Listen, I’ll get the money! I can get the money! Just listen -

Without breaking stride, the KLINGON ENFORCERS drag the BOLIAN to the bay windows, fling them open, and throw the BOLIAN out. The BOLIAN’s screams can be heard on his descent, until they stop abruptly. 

The KLINGON ENFORCERS then close the bay windows and take their place on either side of them.

VOSS smiles at NACK, who remains impassive.

VOSS
Nack, do you know what I admire most about the Ferengi?

NACK
Well, what’s there not to admire?

VOSS
I admire your keen understanding that everything is for sale. Klingon honor included.

INT., SICKBAY,

MAAL attends to TYRA’s burn, while the LISBON ENGINEER waits as COOPER attends to the patient in the biobed.

MAAL
(To TYRA)
Well, uh, I’ll just, um, take a look at that arm, and we’ll get you all fixed up and good to go.

The LISBON ENGINEER’s comm badge crackles to life.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
Ensign Zill requesting help with a Tucker tube repair.

Seeing that COOPER is still occupied with the patient in the biobed, the LISBON ENGINEER taps his comm badge.

LISBON ENGINEER
On my way.

The LISBON ENGINEER exits Sickbay.

TYRA
(To MAAL)
So they really put you in Medical?

MAAL
Oh, uh, yeah. I’m actually Dr. Cooper’s assistant -

TYRA
Wow, things are even worse here than they say.

This elicits another weak smile from MAAL.

INT., THE UPSTAIRS ROOM ABOVE THE BAR.

NACK
So how may I be of service?

VOSS
As I said, it’s been far too long since we’ve spoken.
Especially since you’re still in my debt for a lost shipment of Tallonian crystals.

NACK
Now, see this, my friend, is why I keep telling you that you need a Ferengi accountant.
As you’ll recall, I paid you for that shipment and made two hash runs for you
free of charge.That puts us even.

VOSS
Oh, I do wish that we could agree upon that point, but I’ve been forced to review some old accounts.
And as so often happens, there was a slight miscalculation. You and I are not even, my friend.

NACK
Presuming, for the sake of our friendship of course, that I concede the point,
what can I do for you?

VOSS
I understand that you’ve made a number of trips to a Federation star base.
Star Base 80, I think it was? Tell me about that.

NACK chuckles.

NACK
What’s to tell? It’s a storage locker where Starfleet dumps all their screw-ups,
washouts, and decommissioned equipment.

VOSS
So the rumors about Section 31 -

NACK
Ah, they use the place as a parking garage.

VOSS looks dubious.

NACK
You think an intelligence agency is going to office in a dump like that?
You’ve got to stop listening to conspiracy theories, or next you’ll be telling me
that Earth is flat and the afterlife is run by a giant koala.

VOSS
Mmm, perhaps. But if this place is, in fact, a “dump,” as you say,
then what keeps drawing you back there?

NACK
As it happens, I’ve been making a tidy profit overcharging those rubes
for basic supplies that fell out of the cargo hold of the proverbial freighter.

VOSS
Ah, so just a little light racketeering?

NACK
Not very exciting, I’m afraid.

VOSS
So the rumors about you and the station’s Chief of Security are… exaggerated?

This produces a slight ripple in NACK’s composure.

INT., SICKBAY

Except for a few patients who remain in biobeds, Sickbay has largely cleared out. MAAL is checking readings on one of the beds when COOPER enters from the adjoining room.

COOPER
Maal, what are you still doing here? Duty shift was over an hour ago.

MAAL
Well, um, since we’ve got patients, I think that maybe I should stay here just in case -

COOPER
Maal, I appreciate your dedication, but that’s how burn-out happens. Go to the Officer’s Lounge.
Maybe your friend from the Academy is there. You guys can catch up.

MAAL
Well, uh, the thing about that is… I didn’t exactly have friends at the Academy.
You know how I used to follow the Lieutenant Commander around all the time
and bring her coffee and stuff?

COOPER nods.

MAAL
Well, it was like that at the Academy with Tyra. Except, you know,
the Lieutenant Commander was always nice about it…. And now, with Tyra here on base,
it feels like I’m right back at the Academy where, uh, I mostly got laughed at.

COOPER
That’s rough.

MAAL
So, if it’s okay with you, I’ll just, um, stay here until -

COOPER
Maal, I get it. But the thing is, you’re not back at the Academy. You’re here.
You’ve got friends here, you’ve got a girlfriend who adores you. I depend on you to run Sickbay.
You’re a different person now than you were when you were at Starfleet Academy….

MAAL nods as he takes this in.

COOPER
And maybe Tyra is as well. 

MAAL
... Maybe you’re right

COOPER
It’s Friday night, Ensign. Go take your girlfriend to the Officer’s Lounge.

MAAL nods and exits Sickbay, and COOPER watches after him for a moment before returning to his notes.

INT., THE UPSTAIRS ROOM ABOVE THE BAR.

NACK
The station Chief of Security? She’s easy on the eyes, but, uh,
I can’t really say much about her other than that.

VOSS
Indulge me in a little speculation, then. Why do you suppose it is that
she has you running down antique Binar code recursors and, oh, let’s see, what else?...
Galreckian sub-processors, I think it was?... If you were to guess.

NACK
Look, I don’t know what she does with all that junk, and I don’t care.
All I do know is, I’m criminally overcharging her for every bit of it.

VOSS
Are the two of you in a relationship?

NACK
Well, I make a supply delivery, (with a wink) take care of the lady's needs while I'm there,
and then I'm off to the next stop. If you want to call that a relationship -

VOSS
So, my sources telling me that you’re engaged to this girl are... mistaken?

NACK chuckles.

NACK
Ah, you know how woman get. They all think they can handle a casual relationship,
but sooner or later - and usually sooner - they want more. And look,
I’ve got a lucrative little set up here. I’m not about to cut bait and lose profits
just because she wants a ring on her finger and a bun in the oven

VOSS
I see. So you're just stringing this girl along?

NACK
(With a shrug)
She wouldn't be the first. Look, there’s far too many women out there
to get attached to any one of them in particular.

VOSS
That’s a rather cynical point of view, don’t you think?

NACK
There’s no such thing as cynical in this line of work, Nero. Only practical.

VOSS
Ah, but surely there are exceptions?
There must be some female you’re rather attached to.

NACK
If there is, I haven’t met her yet.

VOSS
Your own mother, perhaps?

NACK is silent.

INT., THE OFFICERS' LOUNGE

The place is packed with station personnel and Lisbon crew drinking and mingling. The LISBON ENGINEER from earlier in the day is standing at the bar, having a drink with some of his colleagues.

MAAL and TISHA enter and head to the bar, passing the table where TYRA is sitting with some LISBON CREWMATES.

TYRA
(To her crewmates)
There he is! This is the one I was telling you about. Maal! Maal, over here!

After a moment’s hesitation, MAAL approaches the table.

INT., THE PENTHOUSE ABOVE THE BAR

VOSS
How is your mother, by the way? I understand you’ve been to see her recently.
And that you were accompanied by a young lady. A rather fetching one, I’m told.

NACK remains silent, studying VOSS cagily.

VOSS
It really is remarkable what one picks up listening to rumors, isn’t it?
For instance, according to rumor, that little “dump” of a star base you visit is actually
a highly secure facility where top-level Federation intelligence reports are kept.

NACK
If it was a highly secure facility, do you really think they’d let me anywhere near it?

VOSS
Mmm, perhaps, perhaps not. Only one way to find out, isn’t there? 

VOSS reaches into an inside pocket and holds up a small disk approximately the size of a silver dollar.

VOSS
This is a contact drive. It can bypass security and download large amounts of data
very quickly without leaving a trace. All you have to do is attach it to, oh, I don’t know,
maybe the Chief of Security’s padd? Hmm? I bet it contains plenty of high-level
system access codes that could prove quite lucrative. I tell you what - you bring me a copy
of her padd on this drive, and we’ll call your debt for those lost Tallonian crystals settled.

NACK
Look, assuming I could do such a thing - which there’s no guarantee of -

VOSS
Oh, come now. You yourself said that Starfleet isn’t exactly manning the station with
their best and brightest. And given the nature of your relationship with the station Security Chief,
it shouldn’t be too hard to sneak that by her. Perhaps in an intimate moment?

NACK
Nero, Star Base 80 is the Federation waste basket. There’s nothing there of any value.

VOSS
I’ll be the judge of that. Perhaps there’s more there than you think. In which case,
I’m happy to offer you a finder’s fee. Say, five percent of whatever any classified information sells for?
I should think that would be quite interesting to you.

NACK
It would be, if there was anything worth paying for, but I'm telling you -

VOSS
Of course, if you can’t help, not to worry. That information can be extracted
from other sources. Pretty little Chiefs of Security, for example.

VOSS hands NACK the contact drive and signals a nearby KLINGON ENFORCER.

VOSS
I’m terribly sorry to have to usher you out so quickly,
but I’ve got another appointment waiting. Always good to see you, old friend.

With that NACK is escorted out by the KLINGON ENFORCER. His face is grim.

INT., THE OFFICER’S LOUNGE

TISHA watches with a wary eye as TYRA introduces MAAL to her crewmates.

TYRA
Maal, this is Lieutenant Goodman, Lieutenant O'Shaughnessy, and Ensign Zill. 

MAAL
Hi, um, Ensign Maal Aron.

TYRA
(To her CREWMATES)
Maal and I went to Starfleet Academy together.
He was in, like, all of my classes. He used to sit right behind me.

MAAL manages a half-smile.

TYRA
Oh my God, you guys, this one time during holodeck flight training,
Maal initiated the Janeway Protocol, collided with a maintenance scow,
and set off a chain reaction that launched the entire fleet’s photon torpedoes
at the Daystrom Institute. (With a laugh) It was a virtual bloodbath.

TYRA’s CREWMATES laugh, and MAAL chuckles awkwardly.

MAAL
Yeah, it was, um, it was pretty bad.
Well, uh, it was nice to meet you guys. We’re just going to -

TYRA
Hang on a minute, Maal.
(Indicating TISHA) Who's your friend?

INT., THE DIVIDEND.

NACK sits at the helm of his ship. He takes the contact drive out of his pocket and sets it on the console. He stares at it for a moment, and with a heavy sigh, puts it back in his pocket.

NACK
Computer, call Star Base 80 Security.

COMPUTER
Calling Star Base 80 Security.

After a brief moment, HARPER appears on the view screen.

HARPER
Hey, Baby! I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon.

NACK
(Breezily)
Angel, I’ve got to make an unscheduled stop back on base. Thought I had something handled,
but - ah, you know how it is. Anyway, I just wanted to give you a heads up -

HARPER
I’ll have them clear Docking Bay Three for your arrival, and…
(taking on a sultry tone) I’ll be waiting.

NACK
That’s my girl.

The view screen goes black as HARPER hangs up. NACK’s expression shifts from charming to worried.

INT., THE OFFICER’S LOUNGE

TISHA approaches TYRA’s table warily.

At a nearby table, a group of STAR BASE 80 ENGINEERS notice TISHA’s unease, and watch the following interaction intently.

MAAL
Oh, uh, this is… this is Tisha… my, um, my girlfriend.

TYRA
Aww, Maal, you have a girlfriend? That is so sweet!

TISHA
(With a tight-lipped smile)
Hi.

TYRA
Did you know that your boyfriend had the biggest crush on me back at the Academy?
He used to follow me around like a little lost puppy. It was adorable!

TYRA’s LISBON CREWMATES chuckle, and MAAL flushes brilliant emerald green. TISHA’s smile disappears, and she begins rolling up her sleeves.

TISHA
(To MAAL, Indicating TYRA)
Baby, is this what passed for hot when you were at the Academy?...
No wonder you were single for so long.

This elicits another laugh from TYRA’s LISBON CREWMATES. 

TYRA
(Standing up from her seat)
What did she just say to me?!

As the STAR BASE 80 ENGINEERS at the nearby table stand and make their way over, MAAL positions himself between TISHA and TYRA.

MAAL
Look, why don’t we all just -

TISHA unsnaps her uniform flap.

TISHA
(To TYRA)
Oh, I’ll tell you exactly what I just said -

At that moment, the LISBON ENGINEER at the bar collapses. 

Before anyone can react, MAAL springs into action, pushing the gathering crowd back before kneeling next to the unconscious LISBON ENGINEER. 

MAAL scans him with his medical tricorder, and taps his comm badge. 

 

MAAL
Doctor, we’ve got closed head trauma with delayed presentation in the Officer’s Lounge.
Patient is unconscious, pulse is erratic. Starting chest compressions.

COOPER
(Over MAAL’s comm badge)
Roger that, Ensign. On my way.

MAAL begins CPR on the LISBON ENGINEER as the crowd watches.

INT., HARPER’S QUARTERS

NACK and HARPER are in a passionate embrace.

HARPER
(Pulling away and running a finger along NACK’s lobes)
I think I like these unscheduled stops.

NACK
(Brushing her hand away lightly)
You stop that, now.

HARPER
Funny, that’s not what you were saying -

ENSIGN RAMIREZ’s voice comes over HARPER’s comm badge.

RAMIREZ
Security, there’s been a medical event in the Officers’ Lounge, and things are pretty tense
up here between our people in Engineering and the Lisbon crew. I could use a hand, L-T-C.

HARPER taps her comm badge.

HARPER
Roger that, Ramirez. I’m en route.

HARPER taps her comm badge closed.

HARPER
(Apologetically)
Duty calls.

NACK
Honey, go do what you need to do. We’ve all got business we’ve got to take care of. 

With a tender kiss on NACK’s forehead, HARPER exits her quarters.

Once she leaves, NACK retrieves her padd from her bedside table. He removes the contact drive from the pocket of his jacket and attaches the contact drive to HARPER’s padd.

INT., THE BACK OFFICE IN THE BAR, THE NEXT EVENING.

NERO VOSS is sitting behind the desk when NACK enters.

VOSS
Nack, so good to see you again. And so soon! I must say, this is a delightful surprise.

NACK removes the contact drive from his pocket and slides it across the desk to VOSS.

NACK
I got what you wanted. Are we done?

VOSS
My friend, we’re even when I say we’re even, and we’re done when I say we’re done.

VOSS holds up the contact drive.

VOSS
This is just the beginning. 

VOSS stands and comes around the other side of the desk, looming over NACK.

VOSS
You know, Nack, I really had you pegged as clever and resourceful. So it’s disappointing to me
that you would settle for crumbs like price-gouging and small-time profiteering, when all the while,
there’s an entire meal to be had - a veritable feast, as it were - of information so top-secret
that you can literally name your price. Or should I say, I can.  Now, let’s dig in, shall we?

VOSS picks up a padd from his desk, attaches the contact drive to it, and taps the screen. HARPER’s voice emanates from his padd.

HARPER
Chief Security Officer’s Log. I evacuated a meeting of department heads today.
Thankfully, I was able to blame it on Cooper. I think maybe I have a gluten allergy.

VOSS frowns and swipes that recording. He taps the padd again.

HARPER
Dear Chief Security Officer’s Log: I’m so excited!  Soon, I’m going to be Mrs. Emma -
wait, do Ferengi have last names?... I should probably find out….

VOSS taps another log entry.

HARPER
Chief Security Officer's Log. Cleared a turbolift again today.
You know, I’m starting to think that maybe dairy is the problem….

Increasingly frustrated, VOSS begins scrolling through files on the padd.

VOSS
Replicator recipes… discontinued uniform schematics…
a fantasy Pareesi’s Squares roster?!... What is this?!

HARPER’s voice emanates from the padd again.

HARPER
Chief Security Officer's Log. Today marks a major accomplishment in my career
as station Chief of Security.I finally finished my kitten puzzle! Oh, their little paws are so cute.... 
You know, I have no idea why anyone thinks this job is hard.

VOSS slams his padd down on the desk and looks indignantly at NACK.

NACK
Nero, I told you the place is an orbiting dumpster -

At that moment, the sounds of phaser fire erupt from the other room.

VOICE
Starfleet Security! You’re all under arrest!

VOSS looks at NACK, and NACK shakes his head, bewildered.

The muffled sound of a small ordinance exploding sends VOSS rushing for the back staircase. Before he can escape, however, two STARFLEET SECURITY OFFICERS enter, phaser rifles drawn.

STARFLEET SECURITY OFFICER 1
Nobody move! You’re both under arrest for espionage.

As SECURITY OFFICERS cuff VOSS and NACK, a furious HARPER appears in the doorway.

HARPER
(To NACK)
You thought I wouldn't have a tracking code on my padd? Really?!...
You must think I’m stupid!

HARPER stalks over to NACK and slaps him hard across the face.

HARPER
That padd had my dream journal on it!

At that moment, CH’THANE and AGENT SMITH beam into the room.

AGENT SMITH
Everybody stand down. Section 31 is taking over this investigation.

HARPER
Turning the scene over to you, Sir.

She turns to leave.

CH’THANE
On second thought… why don’t you take the Ferengi into custody, Lieutenant Commander?
I imagine you’re the last person he wants to see right now.

HARPER
With pleasure, Sir.

HARPER shoves NACK roughly out the door as CH’THANE and AGENT SMITH each pull up a chair and take a seat in front of a handcuffed VOSS.

CH'THANE
I understand you’ve taken an interest in us.

AGENT SMITH
As it happens, we’ve taken an interest in you. 

CH'THANE
Let’s chat.

VOSS is uncharacteristically silent in response.

INT., SICKBAY

The LISBON ENGINEER awakens in a biobed. 

MAAL is checking the bed's readout, when COOPER enters from the next room.

Seeing that his patient is conscious, COOPER approaches him.

COOPER
Hey, you’re awake. How are you feeling?

LISBON ENGINEER
I don’t know. I’ve got a headache and everything feels fuzzy.

COOPER
That’s to be expected. You sustained a concussion during your fall aboard the Lisbon,
and that caused a clot that eventually led to a cerebrocortical event, or as it’s more commonly known, a stroke.
We were able to catch it early and reverse the effects, but you’ll probably feel a little “off” for a week or so.
You’re lucky my assistant was there. If that had happened when you were asleep, you probably wouldn’t have woken up.

LISBON ENGINEER
(To MAAL)
Thank you.

MAAL
Just doing my job.

The door chimes and TYRA enters.

COOPER
(To TYRA)
Sorry, we’re not allowing visitors right now -

TYRA
I actually came to see Maal, if that’s okay?

MAAL looks to COOPER, who nods, and MAAL and TYRA step into the hallway outside.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

TYRA
So, you, like, saved that guy’s life?

MAAL
(Shrugging)
Well, it’s my job, so.

TYRA
You’ve really changed a lot since the Academy, huh?

MAAL
Yeah, I have.

TYRA
You know, Maal, seeing you in action like that was actually kind of hot.

MAAL
(Blushing)
I - uh… thanks.

TYRA
So listen, we’ll be docked here for a couple more days. Do you want to maybe get a drink sometime?...
Or, you know, (looking up at MAAL flirtatiously) ...you could come by my quarters.

MAAL
Oh, um… no thanks.

Seeing TYRA’s reaction of disbelief, MAAL elaborates.

MAAL
I’ve actually changed a lot since the Academy.

With that, MAAL re-enters Sickbay. The door slides shut behind him, leaving TYRA alone in the hallway outside. 

EXT., THE ALLEY OUTSIDE THE MOB BAR. 

STARFLEET SECURITY OFFICERS are walking handcuffed KLINGON ENFORCERS out of the bar, while HARPER and a still-handcuffed NACK wait beside a Section 31 runabout.

NACK
Angel, do you have any idea how hard it was to keep a straight face during your “log entries”?
Why would you do that to me?

HARPER
Somebody's got to keep you on your toes.

NACK
Yeah, well, I nearly lost it over that “dream journal” bit at the end.
You’ve got to warn me next time.

HARPER
Next time? Exactly how many crime lords are you in debt to?

NACK
I wasn't “in debt” - as I explained, it was a very unique set of circumstances.

HARPER
Uh huh.

NACK
What? It's the truth.

HARPER
So does this mean you're “in debt” to me now?

NACK
Well now, that all depends.

HARPER
On what?

NACK
On how you plan on collecting.

HARPER giggles.

CH’THANE and AGENT SMITH emerge from the Mob Bar and approach NACK and HARPER.

HARPER
Where’s Voss? Aren’t you going to bring him in?

CH’THANE
We’ve come to an arrangement with Mr. Voss.

AGENT SMITH
There are times, Lieutenant Commander, when you need to forgo an arrest,
in order to create an opportunity.

With that, CH’THANE and AGENT SMITH board the runabout, and HARPER moves to follow.  NACK holds up his cuffed hands.

NACK
Hang on a second, Kitten. You gonna let me out of these?

HARPER
(Raising an eyebrow flirtatiously)
Eventually.

NACK chuckles as they board the runabout.

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS.

Chapter 2: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 2 Starfleet

Summary:

Just a quick jaunt down to the Starfleet Technical Services Academy to celebrate a friend's graduation. No problem, right?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 2 Starfleet

INT., SICKBAY 

COOPER is working at his desk when the door chimes and an excited MAAL and HARPER enter.

COOPER
Well, good morning, you two.

HARPER
Hey, Coop, guess what?

MAAL
Grallix is graduating from Starfleet's Technical Services Academy,
and he’s invited us to the commencement ceremony!

COOPER
This soon? Doesn’t it usually take -

MAAL
He already completed most of the coursework behind bars.

COOPER
But what about - ?

HARPER
The Dominion War has forced Starfleet to streamline training.
They’re really pushing them through these days.

MAAL
Aw, Coop, you should’ve talked to him! Grallix is really excited.

COOPER
He should be, it’s quite an accomplishment.

HARPER
It’s bigger than that – he’s the first Nausicaan to graduate the
Technical Services Academy and enlist in Starfleet! This is historic,
you guys! Good golly, I’m going to have to press my skants.

COOPER
Oh no, I didn’t even think about the skants….
I guess there’s no getting around them, huh?

MAAL
What’s wrong with the skants? 

COOPER
I mean, it’s basically a dress over pants.
Who thought that was a good idea?

MAAL
I like them, I think they look nice.

HARPER
Well, Coop, you could always ditch the pants
and wear tights instead. You’ve got the legs for it.

COOPER
Oh, ha ha.

HARPER
Could be worse - if you were a Cardassian medical officer,
you'd have to walk around in that black leather-daddy uniform.
You can't tell me those things don't reek at the end of the day.

COOPER
Okay, so I'm not the only one who thinks the Cardassian uniforms are weird?

MAAL
No, they're totally weird.

HARPER
Really makes you wonder what goes on over there.

INT., STATION HALLWAY, A SHORT TIME LATER 

COOPER is headed down the hall when he turns the corner and encounters TEVIK coming the opposite way. 

COOPER
Hey, Tevik, are you going to –

TEVIK
( Without breaking stride )
No. 

TEVIK continues down the hall, leaving a perplexed COOPER to stare after him. 

EXT., EST. SHOT, STARFLEET TECHNICAL SERVICES ACADEMY, MARS, A FEW DAYS LATER 

People are streaming into the Technical Services Academy to attend the commencement ceremony.

INT., STARFLEET TECHNICAL SERVICES ACADEMY AUDITORIUM

COOPER, HARPER, and MAAL enter and look around for their seats. They are all wearing dress skants, which COOPER is noticeably grumpy about.

HARPER
Coop, I know you hate the skants, but look around you -
everyone here is wearing them. We all look stupid.

MAAL
( Looking at his ticket, and looking around )
I don’t see our seats.

COOPER
I’m just saying, Starfleet updates the regular uniforms all the time,
but somehow a literal dress uniform can’t possibly be improved upon?

MAAL
Guys, I don’t see our seats?!

HARPER takes the tickets from MAAL and COOPER and looks closely at them.

HARPER
Yeah, these have got to be a misprint. Let me find - 

HARPER flags down an USHER, who comes over to assist.

HARPER
Hi, I think our tickets are wrong? These say we’re supposed to be
down front with the faculty, but we’re -

At that moment, a PROVOST appears.

PROVOST
Ah, there you are. 

The PROVOST taps his comm badge

PROVOST
I found them. They’re in the auditorium.

HARPER, COOPER and MAAL exchange puzzled glances. 

HARPER
Sorry, is there a problem?

PROVOST
No, no problem. You’re guests of Grallix, right?

COOPER
… Yes?

PROVOST
Ah, good. We’ve got you seated in the front.

The PROVOST ushers COOPER, HARPER, and MAAL down the aisle to three seats front and center amidst faculty, captains and admirals.

COOPER
Wow, I didn’t realize Grallix had this kind of pull around here.

PROVOST
Well, this is a banner day for Starfleet. And for Grallix, of course.
You’ll stay for pictures after the ceremony? 

COOPER
Uh, sure, I guess.

PROVOST
Good. I’ve got to run, but before I forget - Lieutenant Commander Harper,
there’s a faculty reception this evening. As a decorated officer,
we’d be pleased if you would join us.

HARPER
Oh. Well, sure. We’d love to. 

PROVOST
Wonderful. I’ll see you this evening, then.
And don’t forget to stay for pictures. 

With that, the PROVOST departs, and HARPER, COOPER and MAAL take their seats.

COOPER
Okay, did that seem weird to you guys? 

MAAL
I mean, Grallix is the first Nausicaan in Starfleet.

HARPER
It's a historic occasion, Coop.

At that moment, the lights go down, and as the audience applauds, the DEAN of the Technical Services Academy takes the stage.

INT., THE AUDITORIUM, SOME TIME LATER

The next-to-last graduate exchanges salutes and shakes DEAN’s hand, cuing GRALLIX to follow him onto the stage. 

Rather than shake GRALLIX’s hand, however, the DEAN gestures GRALLIX to come stand beside him, as the DEAN once again takes the podium.

DEAN
Distinguished faculty, honored guests, and, most importantly, graduates
of the Starfleet Technical Services Academy, today is an historic day.
We stand on the precipice of a new era in Starfleet,
one that embraces inclusivity and progress. 

The audience applauds. 

DEAN
( Continuing )
Today, we celebrate not only Grallix’s achievement as the first Nausicaan to be accepted into
Starfleet, but also the unprecedented steps that Starfleet has taken to broaden its horizons.
Because no matter who or where you are, Starfleet opens its arms to you!

COOPER
( Soto voice to MAAL and HARPER )
I guess everyone living under occupation on Nausicaa can take comfort
in knowing that Starfleet’s arms are open to them.

This earns a COOPER a few glances from people in nearby seats.

DEAN
Now, there may be some who would raise an eyebrow at Grallix’s unconventional path to graduation,
but in taking this remarkable leap from serving time in prison to serving on a Federation star ship,
Grallix has broken the mold, and set an example for future Nausicaans seeking to better themselves. 

There are a few awkward chuckles from a few attendees, while some shift uncomfortably in their seats. In the audience, HARPER and MAAL exchange uncomfortable glances, and COOPER crosses his arms.

DEAN
So to all of our graduates here today, I say, let Grallix serve as an example of overcoming adversity,
and of how anyone is capable of achievement beyond expectation. Let his story serve as a beacon.
Let it shine brightly upon your hearts as you venture forth into the farthest reaches of space.
Because no matter your background, no matter the circumstances, no matter the odds,
Starfleet will find a way to help you to boldly go where no man - or Nausicaan - has gone before!

His speech concluded, the DEAN exchanges salutes with GRALLIX and shakes his hand. The audience erupts in applause. HARPER and MAAL take to their feet to applaud for GRALLIX. After a moment, COOPER reluctantly stands and applauds as well. 

On stage, the DEAN, still standing next to GRALLIX, smiles brightly for the flash of cameras. 

INT., THE AUDITORIUM, SLIGHTLY LATER

COOPER, HARPER and MAAL are huddled off to the side as GRALLIX is photographed shaking hands with several ADMIRALS.

COOPER
I’m amazed that they can still shake hands while patting themselves on the back so hard.

HARPER
Coop, I know it's tone-deaf, but -  

COOPER
“Tone-deaf” is an understatement. How about “self-serving,” and “condescending”?

HARPER glances around at the people well-within earshot.

HARPER
Cooper, people can hear you. 

COOPER
Good. Then maybe one of them can explain exactly what the hell that speech was.

HARPER
Yes, it was embarrassing and unbefitting of Starfleet,
but we’re not here for the speeches. We’re here for Grallix.

COOPER
I’m just saying that since the Federation decided to invoke the prime directive
when Orion invaded Nausicaa, they could stand to be a little less self-congratulatory
about their first Nausicaan crewman.

At that moment, there is a break in photography, and GRALLIX joins the group.

GRALLIX
My friends! You came! 

GRALLIX and MAAL perform an intricate bro handshake that ends in a chest bump and a hug. GRALLIX then nods respectfully at COOPER and HARPER.

HARPER
Of course we came. 

MAAL
No way we were gonna miss this. 

COOPER
Congratulations, Grallix.

GRALLIX
( Looking around )
I do not see Mr. Tevik?

HARPER
Unfortunately, Tevik couldn't make it. Apparently, Engineering is really busy
these days. But he sends his congratulations on your ‘commendable achievement.'

GRALLIX
I wanted to thank him for his guidance. And for taking a chance on me.

HARPER
We’ll be sure to pass that on.

GRALLIX
Some of my classmates are celebrating tonight at the Mars Rover -

COOPER
That bar we saw on the way in?

GRALLIX
Yes. Will you join us?

HARPER
Of course we’ll be there. 

GRALLIX claps a hand on COOPER’s and MAAL’s shoulders.

GRALLIX
Good. I would not be here without you,
so it would not be right to celebrate without you.

HARPER
(Noticing a carved bone ring on GRALLIX’s finger )
Grallix, is that a Nausicaan love knot ring?

GRALLIX
(Sheepishly )
It is.

MAAL
Yeah, buddy! Who is she?

GRALLIX
It is a gift from Grisha. I have been corresponding with her
since she and Gunara settled on Bajor.

HARPER
Aw, Grallix, I didn't know you two had a thing.

GRALLIX
I have admired her for years, but my family is not in her caste,
so it was impossible. But now that I am educated and have a job
in Starfleet, her uncle has given his consent for me to court her.

COOPER
Well, congratulations!

GRALLIX
Perhaps next time I see you, you will dance at our wedding.

HARPER
We wouldn't miss it.

The PROVOST approaches the group and taps his comm badge.

PROVOST
Found him. He’s over here with his Orion friend.

PROVOST
(To MAAL and GRALLIX)
We’d like to get some pictures of the two of you together
to document Starfleet’s ability to break down barriers and promote peace.

Uncertain, MAAL looks to COOPER and HARPER. COOPER frowns and shakes his head, while HARPER hesitates for a moment, and then nods encouragingly.

MAAL
Uh…. Okay.

PROVOST
Wonderful. Can you two do that chest bump handshake thing again for the cameras?

The PROVOST leads GRALLIX and MAAL back to stage.

PHOTOGRAPHER
All right, let's get the two of you shaking hands in front of the Starfleet seal.

MAAL and GRALLIX dutifully shake hands in front of the seal, to the flash of the cameras.

ADMIRAL 1
(To a PHOTOGRAPHER)
Get those to headquarters. I want that image in front of people.

COOPER
(To HARPER)
You know, Command was more than happy to shuffle Maal off to Star Base 80
when he was an embarrassment to Starfleet. But now that his friendship with
Grallix makes for good optics, they’re rushing to put him front and center
on a recruiting poster. 

HARPER
Coop, lower your voice. People can hear you.

PHOTOGRAPHER
(To MAAL and GRALLIX)
Okay, now let’s get one with you two shaking hands in front of Admiral Grexx.
And then we’ll get one in front of Admiral Inskipp, and Admiral Vassery, and….

An uncomfortable HARPER and a disapproving COOPER look on as GRALLIX and MAAL begin a succession of photos with various Admirals.

INT., RECEPTION HALL, THAT EVENING

CAPTAINS, ADMIRALS and FACULTY mingle as WAITERS work the room, handing out champagne glasses.

COOPER and HARPER enter, still wearing their skants. 

COOPER
Aw, Harper, everyone here is in their dress whites!
I told you we should have packed them.

HARPER takes two glasses of champagne from a passing WAITER and hands one to COOPER. 

HARPER
We’re only going to be here long enough to shake a few hands and
get buzzed on the good stuff, and then we’ll change out of our skants
and go celebrate at the Mars Rover with Maal and Grallix.

COOPER
Yeah, well, after that dog-and-pony show at commencement today,
I’m fed up with “shaking hands.”

HARPER
Yes, the whole thing was in extremely poor taste, but progress is never perfect.
And Starfleet has helped Grallix. You heard him, Coop, it’s changed his whole life!
And if those pictures help just one person realize that they can join Starfleet too,
isn’t it worth it?

COOPER
… Yeah, maybe.

HARPER
Most people have good intentions, even if they don’t express them well.
You’ve got to give people the benefit of the doubt. Especially in Starfleet. 

HARPER hands her empty champagne glass to a passing WAITER and takes another one.

COOPER
Woah, you’re kind of putting them away there, aren’t you?

HARPER
Coop, did you see the Mars Rover? Drink the good stuff while you can get it.  

With that, HARPER downs her champagne glass and flags down another WAITER to exchange it for a full one.

As this is happening, ADMIRAL INSKIPP, an older man with a genial and slightly pompous demeanor, approaches COOPER and HARPER.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
Lieutenant Commander Harper? 

HARPER
Admiral Inskipp, Sir.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
What a pleasure to finally see you in person instead of on a viewscreen.

HARPER
The pleasure is mine, Sir.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
(Gesturing at COOPER )
And this is…?

HARPER
Dr. Jeffrey Cooper, Star Base 80’s Chief Medical Officer.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
(Shaking hands with COOPER )
Doctor, a pleasure to meet you.

COOPER
Sir.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
I’m so pleased you two could make it. You know, your part
in Grallix’s accomplishments has not gone unnoticed.

HARPER hiccups and shakes her head as the effects of the alcohol begin to set in.

HARPER
Grallix is the one who should be commended, Sir.
It's his hard work that got him here.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
Indeed. With his aptitude and determination, I expect he’ll go far in Starfleet.

COOPER
( Warming up a little )
Grallix has a real talent for engineering.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP    
You know, I’d love to see that young man in the Officer’s Program someday. 

COOPER
Really?

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
Oh, yes. He’s impressed a lot of people.
His journey here is a real testament to his character.

COOPER
( Genuinely pleased )
Well, Sir, that’s very good to hear. 

HARPER
( In a tipsy, too-loud whisper )
See, Coop? I told you.

As a passing WAITER comes within arm’s reach, HARPER switches her empty champagne glass for a full one on his tray.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
Speaking of Grallix’s journey, Lieutenant Commander, there’s an outreach conference
happening the last weekend of June. I wonder if you’d be willing to come and speak about
ways that Starfleet could reach out to more potential recruits in the
rehabilitation and work-release program?

HARPER
(Starting to lightly slur her words )
Oh gosh, Sir, I really wish I could, but - but my wedding is that weekend.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
Well, congratulations! And may I just say, you two make a lovely couple.

COOPER
Thanks, but Harper and I are just friends.

HARPER
Oh, my fiancé couldn’t be here. He had a business meeting on Ferenginar.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP grimaces sympathetically.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
Ferenginar, eh?  Well, good luck to him dealing with those people.

An awkward silence ensues.

HARPER
Those people?

ADMIRAL INSKIPP looks to COOPER for agreement, but COOPER is too busy staring at HARPER, who is wide-eyed with indignation.

HARPER
What do you mean, those people?

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
Oh, well, uh… you know… the Ferengi …? 

HARPER’s nostrils flare and she shoves her champagne glass into COOPER’s hand.  

HARPER
My fiancé is “those people!”

Her words are loud enough that people nearby begin to stare.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
(Taken aback )
… I see. Well… congratulations….

HARPER
(Coldly )
Thank you, we’re very happy together.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP turns to COOPER.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
Doctor, it was nice to meet you.

The ADMIRAL looks over at HARPER again, and she stares him down. 

ADMIRAL INSKIPP
….  If you’ll excuse me.

ADMIRAL INSKIPP joins a nearby group in conversation. 

As HARPER and COOPER watch, the people speaking with ADMIRAL INSKIPP begin to look their way and speak in hushed tones. 

COOPER
Hey, Harper, how about we head on over to the Mars Rover
to celebrate with Grallix and Maal, okay?

But HARPER continues return the stare of the nearby group, as her anger and indignation build. 

COOPER
... Hey, let’s just go, okay?  

As they watch, someone in the group looks over at HARPER and whispers to the person next to them, who laughs.

HARPER’s eye twitches.

COOPER
Harper -

HARPER
(Loudly )
What are you people staring at me for? I’m not the racist!

Several people gasp, and the room goes quiet.

COOPER
Okay, we’re leaving now. 

Everyone in the room is now staring and speaking in hushed tones as COOPER hustles HARPER out of the reception.

EXT., ESTABLISHING SHOT OF THE MARS ROVER

A run-down little dive bar near the Technical Academy campus. 

INT., THE MARS ROVER

A mixture of JUNIOR STARFLEET OFFICERS and TECHNICAL ACADEMY GRADUATES drink, mingle, and shoot pool.

COOPER and a fuming HARPER enter, still clad in their skants. MAAL and GRALLIX wave them over to their table.

GRALLIX
You’re here! 

MAAL
Aren’t you guys a little over-dressed for this place?

COOPER
Yeah, well, we were going to change, but after Harper nearly got
thrown out of the faculty reception, our evening kind of took a turn.

HARPER
I wish they would have tried to throw me out. 

COOPER
Harper, it’s over. We’re here now, and we’re going to celebrate.

COOPER leans over to MAAL.

COOPER
(Quietly )
Is this what it’s like dealing with me?

MAAL nods.

COOPER
Man, I really owe you guys a fruit basket and a thank you note, huh?

MAAL shrugs.  

GRALLIX
(To COOPER and HARPER)
You are just in time. I was about to get another round of drinks.

COOPER
Just beer for us.

HARPER starts to object, and COOPER looks at her sternly. She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t argue.

MAAL
Hey, Grallix, wait, I’ll come with you.

As GRALLIX and MAAL step up to the crowded bar, HARPER turns to COOPER.

HARPER
You know, Coop, you were right about Starfleet being
self-congratulatory and self-serving.

COOPER
Harper -

HARPER
And you know what else? I used to think that the Commander and Agent Smith were just being cranks
whenever they’d gripe about Starfleet being a bunch of sanctimonious hypocrites,
but I’m starting to think that maybe they have a point.
And the other day, Agent Smith said -

COOPER
Harper, for God’s sake, don’t listen to those two. Especially Agent Smith.
As far as I can tell, his only friend is the Commander, and somehow out of the two of them,
he’s the unnerving one. 

HARPER
Yeah, well, the next time he tries to recruit me into Section 31,
I just might take him up on it…. “ Those people” …. 

COOPER sighs as HARPER sits back in her chair with her arms crossed, continuing to stew. 

As she looks around the crowded bar, something in the corner catches her attention. She drops her brooding, sits up straight and leans toward COOPER.

HARPER
(Soto voice )
Coop, we may have a situation on our hands. 

COOPER
What are you talking about? 

HARPER directs COOPER’s attention to two JUNIOR LIEUTENANTS across the bar with red Starfleet command uniforms and frat-boy good looks. They are intently watching GRALLIX and MAAL and talking amongst themselves.

HARPER
They’ve been staring at Grallix and whispering to each other,
and I don’t like where this is headed.

COOPER
Harper, this isn’t “headed” anywhere. They’re two junior officers
who’ve had a few too many and don’t realize how rude they’re being.

HARPER
Yeah, well, I don’t like the looks of them.

At that moment, GRALLIX and MAAL return from the bar with pint glasses of beer. 

COOPER
(Taking a glass from MAAL and raising it )
To Grallix’s achievement. No doubt the first of many. 

As the group raise their glasses and drink, the two JUNIOR LIEUTENANTS begin making their way across the room. 

HARPER
(Whispering to COOPER )
Coop, heads up.

COOPER
Harper, don’t do anything stupid.

HARPER
If those guys are coming over here to start something, I swear to you,
I will take them outside and teach them some manners. 

As the JUNIOR LIEUTENANTS approach, HARPER tenses for a confrontation, and COOPER tenses in preparation to intervene.

JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 1
(To GRALLIX)
You from the Technical Services Academy?

GRALLIX
Yes.

JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 2
You’re that Nausicaan, right? The first one to join Starfleet?

GRALLIX nods. 

JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 2
(To JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 1)
Told you so.

JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 1
(To GRALLIX)
You know what I heard about Nausicaans?

The entire table is now on edge, and HARPER starts to rise from her seat.

COOPER
(Putting a hand on her arm)
Harper -

GRALLIX
No. What have you heard about Nausicaans?

JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 1
I heard you guys shoot a vicious game of pool.
You two up for a few frames?

GRALLIX and MAAL look at each other, and GRALLIX nods.

JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 2
Loser buys the next round of drinks.

GRALLIX
Then I hope you have plenty of room on your tab, Redshirt.

The JUNIOR LIEUTENANTS erupt into good-natured laughter at this.

JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 1
(To JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 2)
Aw, he just called you out !

MAAL and GRALLIX follow the JUNIOR LIEUTENANTS to a nearby pool table, and HARPER and COOPER both relax.

COOPER
You see, Harper, I told you. They’re kids.
They’ve barely graduated Starfleet Academy themselves. 

HARPER
I’m sorry. You were right…. I shouldn’t have assumed they were going to be jerks
just because they look like founding members of the Junior Admirals’ Club.   

An unsettling thought occurs to HARPER, and she covers her face with her hands. 

HARPER
Oh, no, I’m just bad as the Dean and Admiral Inskipp. 

COOPER puts a reassuring arm around HARPER.

COOPER
Nah, those guys are bigoted idiots. You just misread an ambiguous situation….
But hey, listen –

HARPER looks up at COOPER as he takes a serious tone.

COOPER
Next time the Commander and Agent Smith are ripping into Starfleet,
just remember that the admirals aren’t Starfleet -

COOPER directs HARPER’s attention to the pool table where GRALLIX is lining up a shot, as MAAL and the two JUNIOR LIEUTENANTS watch.

JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 1
You’re not gonna make that. It’s impossible.

GRALLIX makes his shot, setting off a cascade reaction of balls rolling into the pool table pockets.  

JUNIOR LIEUTENANT 2
No way!

GRALLIX finds himself besieged with congratulatory bro hugs and back-slaps from MAAL and both JUNIOR LIEUTENANTS.

COOPER gestures at the group with his pint glass.

COOPER
Those guys are Starfleet. 

HARPER smiles, and they clink their glasses and drink, as GRALLIX demonstrates the technique behind the shot to his new friends.

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS

POST CREDIT SCENE

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

CH’THANE is standing next to his desk when the door chimes and HARPER enters.

HARPER
(With trepidation)
You wanted to see me, Sir?

CH’THANE
Lieutenant Commander, I’ve been receiving reports that you drank to the point of intoxication
while in uniform, disrupted a reception at the Starfleet Technical Services Academy,
and publicly accused Admiral Inskipp of racism.

HARPER bows her head.

CH’THANE
Are these reports accurate, Lieutenant Commander?

HARPER
Yes, Sir. They are.

CH’THANE chuckles.

CH’THANE
About time somebody called that guy out on his guff.

HARPER
Sir?

CH’THANE
Inskipp couldn’t hold his liquor if someone strapped it to his hand. And every time he’s had a few,
he starts asking me to call him “Pink Skin… you know, like you people do.”
That guy’s the biggest piece of work in the entire fleet.

He opens a desk drawer and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He pours two drinks, and hands one to HARPER. He raises his glass to her.

CH’THANE
Nice work, Lieutenant Commander.

HARPER
Thank you, Sir.

They both drink, and CH’THANE takes a seat behind his desk.

CH’THANE
Now, since I wasn’t there to witness it, I want a complete and
thorough run-down of the Admiral’s comeuppance.

HARPER
Well, Sir, the whole thing started earlier in the day when we couldn’t find our seats in the auditorium….

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS.

Notes:

This episode was inspired by TNG Season 6, Episode 15, 'Tapestry.' The portrayal of Nausicaans in that episode has not aged well, and that, along with the low-key casually problematic way that the Ferengi are spoken of throughout TNG, inspired questions about how humans will handle unexamined bias when dealing with cultures whose values and practices deviate widely from those of a post-scarce society. The answer, I think, is as always, that some of us will handle it better than others.

Chapter 3: STAR TREK: STAR BASE 80 Season 4, Episode 3 Something Blue

Summary:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you had a Ferengi wedding coordinator,
you'd be sad, too.

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: STAR BASE 80 Season 4, Episode 3  Something Blue

INT., THE OFFICERS’ LOUNGE

TEVIK is sitting alone at the bar when COOPER and MAAL enter and take seats next to him.

COOPER
Hey, Tevik, how are –

TEVIK abruptly gets up and leaves.

COOPER
(To MAAL)
What was that about?

MAAL shrugs.

MAAL
I don't know, Tisha said he's just been like that lately.

COOPER
Apparently we’re not the only ones who had a long day. 
Bartender - two whiskeys, neat.

MAAL
Yeah, I’m not normally a whiskey guy,
but after dealing with Rakonian head lice all day long -

COOPER
(To the BARTENDER)
Make those a double, actually.

TISHA, GREELEY and ENSIGN RAMIREZ enter and join MAAL and COOPER at the bar.

COOPER
(To TISHA and GREELEY)
What’s going on with Tevik?
He just got up and left as soon as we sat down.

GREELEY
Welcome to Engineering.
(Doing a mock Vulcan salute) “Live long and be disgruntled.”

RAMIREZ
(To COOPER and MAAL)
Have either of you gotten wedding invitations from the Lieutenant Commander yet?

COOPER and MAAL look at each other.

COOPER
… No, actually. Why, have you?

GREELEY
No. At first, we thought maybe we weren’t on the guest list,
but there’s no way the L-T-C isn’t inviting you guys.

TISHA
We’re trying to plan a bachelorette party for Harper,
but no one knows when the wedding is actually taking place, so….

COOPER
Now that you mention it, it does seem like we should have gotten invitations by now.

RAMIREZ
I don’t think she’s invited anyone.

TISHA
It’s weird - she was really excited about the wedding at first,
and then one day she just… stopped talking about it.

COOPER
I’ll go talk to her and find out what’s going on.

INT., HARPER’S QUARTERS

HARPER is lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, when the door chimes and COOPER enters. She sits up.

HARPER
Hey, Coop, what’s going on?

COOPER
Actually, I came here to ask you the same thing. 

HARPER
Why, what - ?

COOPER sits next to HARPER on the bed.

COOPER
I think Greeley and some of the girls want to throw you a bachelorette party.

HARPER
Aw, that’s really sweet of them.

COOPER
Well, the problem is, no one’s gotten an invitation to your wedding,
so they don’t know when to -

HARPER
Oh. Right. Well… just tell them that I don't want anyone to go to any trouble. 

COOPER
Harper, you’re not obligated to invite anyone to your wedding, but...
why haven’t you invited anyone on the station to your wedding?

HARPER
It’s not that I don’t want to. I love you guys. I want to invite everyone, but….

COOPER
But what? 

HARPER
….  It’s just that… well, it’s kind of embarrassing.

COOPER
Whatever it is, Harper, you can tell me. I’m your friend, I’m not going to -

HARPER
No. I mean, I haven’t invited anyone because the wedding is kind of embarrassing.

COOPER
Oh.

HARPER
Yeah.

COOPER
Hey, you know you don’t have to do this, right?
It’s much easier and less painful to call off a wedding than it is to end a marriage.

HARPER
Coop, I love Nack. He's a good man, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I just - I don’t know,
Dr. Vrenek said that I’d be marrying into Ferengi culture, and I’ve tried really hard to embrace it,
but this wedding has just… morphed into a pageant of conspicuous consumption, and it’s embarrassing.
I don’t care how it looks to other people, but I don’t want my friends to think that’s who I am. 

COOPER
Well, I'd question why you're taking relationship advice from a Romulan whose closest companions
are a couple of giant crustaceans, but, leaving that aside, if you really want to go through with this -
which, again, you don’t have to - it sounds like you just need to be firm and set some boundaries.

HARPER
That’s easier said than done.

COOPER
Harper, you’re an adult. You can say “no” to a few wedding vendors.
It might be a little awkward, but -

HARPER
It’s really not that simple, Coop. Nack’s cousin has called in a lot of favors,
they’ve both invited all of their clients, and there’s a lot of cross-promotion -

COOPER
You know, if you’re not careful, you're going to end up at the bottom of the Marianas trench,
looking for that sunk cost.

HARPER rolls her eyes.

COOPER
Also - cross-promotion? At a wedding?

HARPER
Yes. Look, I’ve got a dress fitting tomorrow and I’m supposed to meet with the officiant about the vows.
I was going to go by myself since Nack is on a business trip, but… will you come with me? Please?
It’s one thing when Nack’s with me, but whenever I go alone, it’s -

COOPER
Of course I’ll come with you. As your gay best friend, I’m morally - and maybe even legally -
obligated to do wedding stuff with you.

HARPER hugs him.

HARPER
Thanks, Coop. 

COOPER
Besides, this is a chance to give you a hard time about… quite possibly everything, it sounds like. 

HARPER
(With a smile and sigh)
I knew I could count on you.

COOPER
Come on, let’s get a drink. You look like you could use one, and I’m going to take this opportunity
to tell everyone that you’re having a traditional Betazoid wedding, so we’ve all got to wax and hit the gym.

HARPER
Cooper, don’t you dare!

COOPER
Oh, it’s happening.

HARPER
Coop, I mean it. Don’t tell people that! 

COOPER
Should’ve sent out invitations, then.

HARPER
Cooper, what if someone actually shows up naked?

COOPER
Sounds like it’ll be the second most embarrassing thing that happens that day.

EXT., ESTABLISHING SHOT, THE GRAND HOTEL ON BETAZED PRIME, THE FOLLOWING DAY

The elegant and historic marble building has a neon sign in the window that reads “Under New Management. Ask About Our Hourly Rates.”

INT., THE LOBBY OF THE GRAND HOTEL ON BETAZED PRIME

COOPER and HARPER, both dressed in casual civilian clothes, enter the lobby. COOPER takes the place in, including the Ferengi-cherub fountain.

COOPER
Wow. You weren’t kidding, huh?

They are greeted by a FERENGI CONCIERGE holding two glasses of white wine.

FERENGI CONCIERGE
Riesling, Miss Harper?

HARPER
Thank you, Tock. This is my friend, Dr. -

They are interrupted by NUNC, who appears instantly and almost out of nowhere.

NUNC
Emma! Always a pleasure to see my favorite cousin’s beautiful fiancée.

HARPER
It’s good to see you too, Nunc.

NUNC
(Looking at COOPER the way a dog eyes a steak)
And this is…?

COOPER
(Extending his hand)
Dr. Jeffrey Cooper. 

NUNC
Nunc, real estate magnate and hotelier, at your service. Number one in hospitality,
with luxury vacation properties throughout the quadrant. When people want to get away,
they think of me.

NUNC shakes COOPER’s hand enthusiastically and for far too long, forcing COOPER to extract his hand from NUNC’s grip.

HARPER
Dr. Cooper is my best friend -

NUNC
Ah, yes. I believe my cousin may have mentioned the, uh, single Chief Medical Officer.

COOPER
Actually, I’m in a relationship.

NUNC
A mere technicality. Now, as the owner and proprietor of this fine - and highly profitable - establishment,
I take seeing to my customers’ needs very seriously. Especially the handsome ones. 

NUNC notices the glasses of white wine that HARPER and COOPER are holding.

NUNC
(To the FERENGI CONCIERGE)
What is that? Riesling?!

FERENGI CONCIERGE
But you said -

NUNC takes COOPER’s glass and flings it over his shoulder, causing an unfortunate FERENGI BELLHOP to duck the flying missile, which shatters somewhere unseen.

BACKGROUND HOTEL GUEST
Hey!

NUNC
(To the FERENGI CONCIERGE)
Bring the Romulan Ale for our guests.

The FERENGI CONCIERGE starts to leave, and NUNC grabs his jacket.

NUNC
The good stuff.

FERENGI CONCIERGE
Yes, Boss.

The FERENGI CONCIERGE exits, and NUNC turns to COOPER.

NUNC
It’s impossible to get good help these days.

COOPER
Uh huh.

NUNC steps in between HARPER and COOPER, wrapping an arm around each of them.

NUNC
Emma, as always, your timing is impeccable. We were just going over
seating arrangements for the reception. If you’ll come with me….

COOPER manages, with some difficulty, to extract himself from NUNC’s grasp, and he follows NUNC and HARPER down the hall.

INT., GRAND BALLROOM

The trio enter the Grand Ballroom, which has tables and chairs set up throughout. COOPER does a double take at the disco ball/crystal chandelier abomination hanging from the ceiling.

NUNC
(Taking a menu from a nearby FERENGI EMPLOYEE)
The menus are just back from the printer.

NUNC hands a surprisingly thick dinner menu to HARPER for inspection. COOPER looks over HARPER’s shoulder and then takes it from her.

COOPER
(Flipping through the pages in disbelief)
Are those… ads?

NUNC
They are, indeed. This thing is practically paying for itself. You know, I gotta hand it to you humans -
you people really know what you’re doing with this wedding business. 

NUNC draws HARPER’s attention to the tables set up throughout the room.

NUNC
Now, Nack’s customers will be seated on the right side of the room, while mine are on the left.
But don’t worry - there will be plenty of time for mingling during the cocktail hour. 

COOPER
Where are friends and family seated?

HARPER
(Quietly)
Nack’s family isn’t coming, Coop.

NUNC
I’ve reserved a very special table for guests of the bride.

NUNC directs HARPER and COOPER’s attention to a small, lopsided table at the very back of the room. The chairs around the table are all mismatched, and one of them spontaneously collapses. 

NUNC
(To COOPER)
Not to worry. I’ll make sure you’re seated next to me.

Before COOPER can react to this, they are interrupted by the entrance of the SANCTIFIED NOTARY, a Ferengi wearing ostentatious robes and an elaborate headpiece with a likeness of the Blessed Exchequer.

NUNC
Ah! The Sanctified Notary is here. 

COOPER
Who?

HARPER
The Officiant

NUNC waves the SANCTIFIED NOTARY over.

NUNC
(With a respectful head bow)
Your Fiscal Eminence.

The SANCTIFIED NOTARY nods at NUNC.

SANCTIFIED NOTARY
Where is - ?

NUNC
Oh, my cousin couldn’t be here today.
But (gesturing at HARPER) this is the bride.

HARPER bows her head respectfully.

HARPER
Your Fiscal Eminence.

The SANCTIFIED NOTARY looks expectantly at COOPER, who stares him down. After a moment, the SANCTIFIED NOTARY gives up.

SANCTIFIED NOTARY
I don’t usually preside over weddings, but - 

COOPER
Then what do you do?
I mean, you’re some sort of religious figure, right?

NUNC
Forgive his ignorance, Your Eminence. Humans don’t -

SANCTIFIED NOTARY
(Snippily)
I bless contractual agreements with the Sacred Seal of Commerce.
This (Looking sourly at HARPER) is a favor for a friend.

NUNC
And it settles your gambling debts.

SANCTIFIED NOTARY
Indeed. Now, I was blissfully unfamiliar with human marriage rites,
but after spending some time studying your rituals, I've managed to
design a ceremony that preserves the sanctity and dignity of the occasion,
while still satisfying the bride’s primitive sensibilities. 

COOPER
Now, hold on a minute -

HARPER
Coop, it’s okay.

COOPER
No, it isn’t, Harper. Nobody should talk to you like that.

HARPER takes COOPER’s arm and pulls him aside.

HARPER
Coop, you have no idea how hard it was to find a Sanctified Notary
that would bless this ceremony. Please just let it go.

COOPER
What do you mean?! How do people get married on Ferenginar? 

HARPER
Ferengi negotiate a marriage contract.

COOPER
Well then, why aren’t you and Nack - ?

HARPER
Because it would be null and void.

COOPER
What?

HARPER
Rule of Acquisition Number 17: A contract is a contract is a contract, but only between Ferengi.
Intercultural marriages aren’t technically legal on Ferenginar. That’s why they all take place off-world.
And Grand Nagus Zek has only recently started to recognize them as legally valid. Which means that
he (indicating the SANCTIFIED NOTARY) could lose his license just for presiding over this. Please just go with it.

HARPER and an unmollified COOPER return to NUNC and the SANCTIFIED NOTARY.

HARPER
Sorry about that, Your Fiscal Eminence. Dr. Cooper isn’t familiar with Ferengi customs. 

SANCTIFIED NOTARY
Let’s just get this over with. Now, I’ve taken the standard human marriage vows,
and I’ve actually managed to turn them into something reasonable. Here.

The SANCTIFIED NOTARY hands HARPER a padd, which she reads silently. COOPER reads over her shoulder, silently at first, and then out loud in increasing volume and disbelief.

COOPER
… From this day forward, for rich and for richer, in prosperity and slowed economic expansion,
strictly adhering to all pre- and postnuptial agreements and forsaking all claims on the estate,
for as long as we both shall live or until such time as it becomes economically disadvantageous
to one or both parties, this I vow before the Blessed Exchequer, may he bless our union
with compounding interest and increasing returns?! Harper -

HARPER
(Quickly, to the SANCTIFIED NOTARY)
It’s beautiful. Thank you, Your Fiscal Eminence. 

She hands the padd back to the SANCTIFIED NOTARY, who turns to NUNC.

SANCTIFIED NOTARY
Are we done here? 

NUNC
Yes, Your Eminence. Thank you again.

SANCTIFIED NOTARY
I believe I saw a bar in the lobby?

NUNC
Your Eminence’s drinks are on the house.

Satisfied, the SANCTIFIED NOTARY exits the Grand Ballroom, and NUNC calls over a FERENGI EMPLOYEE.

NUNC
(Gesturing after the SANCTIFIED NOTARY)
Make sure the bartender serves him from the well, and cut him off after happy hour.

FERENGI EMPLOYEE
Yes, Boss.

The FERENGI EMPLOYEE exits.

NUNC
(To HARPER)
Now, my dear, I believe you have a dress fitting?

HARPER nods and smiles, but her smile is brittle.

NUNC
(To COOPER)
This will give us a chance to get to know each other, Doctor.

COOPER sighs.

INT., A HOTEL SUITE

A large mirror has been set up, and a FERENGI TAYLOR waits impatiently on HARPER to change into her wedding gown in the next room.

The FERENGI EMPLOYEE brings two glasses of Romulan ale to NUNC and an increasingly irritated COOPER.

NUNC
Now tell me, Doctor, are you also from Nebraska?

COOPER
No, I grew up in Massachusetts.

NUNC
I see. And what does your family do?

COOPER
My father was a research neurologist, and my mother taught at Harvard.

NUNC
And what is ‘Harvard’?

COOPER
Oh, uh, well, on Earth, it’s considered a very prestigious university.

NUNC
Ah. So unlike Miss Harper, you don’t need to marry for money. You have options.

COOPER
What?! Harper’s not the kind of person who’d marry for money!

NUNC
Don’t get me wrong, Doctor, a lot of people look down on social climbers, but not me.
I admire the initiative. And frankly, have you seen what happens after a few generations of
high society inter-marrying? A limited gene pool has its limits. You need the occasional injection
of some scrappy upstart good-looks, or things start to get a little… odd. And finally -
but not to be discounted entirely - your friend makes my cousin happy.

COOPER
Look, I have no idea what Harper sees in your cousin, but it isn’t money.
And he’s the lucky one in that relationship.

NUNC
Handsome, successful, and chivalrous? Doctor, if you’re not careful,
I’m going to fall in love with you.

COOPER
Then I’ll make sure to be very careful.

NUNC
(Leaning in flirtatiously)
You know, my cousin and I share a common weakness.

COOPER
Picking up loose change off the ground?

NUNC
No, Doctor. Gorgeous humans.

COOPER
I’ll let you know if I see any.

NUNC
I love a man with a sense of humor. Tell me, have you ever been to Lorimar VI?
I own a private mountain villa on the northern continent. And when I say private?

NUNC winks at COOPER

NUNC
… I mean private.

COOPER shudders.

They are interrupted by the entrance of the FERENGI EMPLOYEE.

FERENGI EMPLOYEE
Hey, Boss, you’ve got a meeting in five minutes.

NUNC
Forgive me, Doctor, I’ve got to take this. But don’t worry, I’ll be back.

NUNC turns to the FERENGI EMPLOYEE

NUNC
(Indicating COOPER)
Have him measured and fitted for a suit. Something nice. This man is going to be on my arm
at my cousin’s wedding, and I want heads to turn.

COOPER
Now hold on a second -

FERENGI EMPLOYEE
You got it, Boss.

With that, NUNC exits.

FERENGI EMPLOYEE
(To COOPER)
All right, you heard the bossman. Let’s get you in a suit.

COOPER
But -

INT., THE HOTEL SUITE, A SHORT TIME LATER

COOPER stands in front of the mirror, while the FERENGI TAILOR pins alterations on a three-piece suit in the same ‘Flamboyant 17th Century Dandy’ style that defines NUNC’s signature aesthetic.

HARPER emerges from the next room, wearing a sequined white minidress with an elaborate bouffant veil and fingerless lace gloves. An unhappy FERENGI DESIGNER follows her.

HARPER
For the last time, I am not wearing fishnet stockings with my wedding dress!

FERENGI DESIGNER
Well, when you look tacky on your wedding day, don’t blame me!

The FERENGI DESIGNER exits the suite in a huff.

HARPER
(Under her breath)
Agree to disagree.

COOPER
Wow. “Vegas Truck Stop Wedding" is a bold choice, Harper. 

HARPER
Yeah, well, so is “Pirate Clown.”

HARPER comes and stands next to COOPER. They look at themselves in the mirror and burst out laughing.

COOPER
We look ridiculous.

HARPER
We really do.

FERENGI TAILOR
(Offended)
Hey!

HARPER
Oh no, I’m so sorry - 

COOPER
(To the FERENGI TAILOR)
Could you give us a minute?

The FERENGI TAILOR exits, muttering under his breath about uppity off-worlders. 

COOPER takes HARPER gently by the shoulders.

COOPER
Harper, what are you doing?

HARPER
Coop -

COOPER
This (gesturing at her wedding dress) isn’t who you are. None of this is you.
This can’t possibly be the wedding you dreamed of as a little girl.

HARPER
Of course not. But it’s not about me, it’s about us.
This wedding is supposed to represent the blending of two cultures -  

COOPER
Really? Because I don’t see “the blending of two cultures.” All I see
is a bunch of avaricious, status-obsessed little goblins running roughshod over you. 

HARPER
Coop -

COOPER
Harper, really think about what you’re doing here. Do you actually want to marry into a sexist,
classist, patriarchal, hyper-capitalistic society?

HARPER
Of course not. But that’s not who Nack is. He’s sensitive and thoughtful, and he has a very nuanced understanding
of the Rules of Acquisition. And since I’m stationed on a Federation star base, he’ll be living with me, in my culture.
And there are plenty of things about human culture that seem just as strange and off-putting to Nack as this does to us.
So, the least I can do is be a good sport about this wedding. It’s only one day.

COOPER
…I hope Nack knows how lucky he is.

HARPER
Believe me, he tells me all the time.

HARPER punches COOPER softly on the arm.

HARPER
Hey, thanks for coming. Today is the most fun I’ve ever had planning this wedding.

COOPER
You’re kidding, right?

HARPER
No, I always have fun with you. Usually when I come here alone, I just go back to base and cry in my quarters.

COOPER
(Reluctantly)
… Well, I’ll… come with you whenever you want.

HARPER
Thanks, Coop.

She hugs him. 

HARPER
I’d better change out of this dress. I’m getting sequins everywhere, and it’s really itchy.

COOPER
I’ve got to be honest - I’m surprised you didn’t go with something a little more elegant.

HARPER
Coop, this is the most elegant dress they had.

HARPER goes into the next room to change, and COOPER stares after her for a moment. Then he opens the door and signals a nearby FERENGI BELLHOP.

COOPER
Can I speak to the proprietor of this establishment? Tell him Dr. Cooper’s asking for him.

INT., THE HOTEL SUITE, A SHORT TIME LATER 

COOPER is waiting, still wearing the flamboyant suit, when NUNC enters.

NUNC
Doctor, I’m told you wanted to see me?

COOPER removes the suit jacket.

COOPER
Yeah, I just wanted to thank you for your hospitality today….

COOPER removes the vest and lace cravat.

COOPER
It’s very clear to me that you pride yourself on being a gracious host.

NUNC
Oh, absolutely.

NUNC watches, mesmerized, as COOPER goes on to unbutton and remove his shirt as he talks.

COOPER
The thing is, my friend Harper is very sensitive. Wedding planning can be taxing on everyone,
and I’m sure you’re not aware of this, but occasionally, some of your employees can be
a little short with her. 

COOPER removes his pants, so that he is standing before NUNC in only briefs.

COOPER
So maybe you could just have a word with them? Remind your people to be patient and
respectful around her? She’s my best friend, and it would really mean a lot to me.

NUNC
(Practically drooling)
Oh yes, of course, Doctor….  Is there… anything else I can do for you? 

COOPER pulls on his own pants and grabs his shirt.

COOPER
Yeah, actually. Was that a spa I saw off the lobby entrance?

INT., THE HOTEL SPA

HARPER and COOPER are laying side by side, receiving massages from a pair of three-armed Edosian masseuses.

HARPER
Oh, Coop, this is heaven.

COOPER
Well, I figured we could both stand to unwind a little.

HARPER turns her head to look at COOPER.

HARPER
Really, though, did you see the price list for these services?
How in the world did you get Nunc to comp this?

COOPER
Harper, you’ve just got to know how to talk to people.

FADE TO CREDITS

Chapter 4: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 4 NEMESIS

Summary:

"Classic evil-scientist-programs-a-supercomputer-for-world-domination-and-is-overpowered-by-his-own-creation scenario." - Agent Smith, Section 31.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 4 NEMESIS

EXT., A LOOMING FORTRESS ON A BARREN, ROCKY PLANET

Lightning streaks across the sky, illuminating the forbidding structure.  

The great iron gates of the fortress open, and two SECTION 31 AGENTS emerge, pushing something under a tarp on a box dolly. 

The AGENTS approach AGENT SMITH, who is waiting next to a black runabout.

AGENT SMITH
That it?

One of the AGENTS nods.

AGENT SMITH
Good. Let’s get out of here before that thing wakes up and we’ve got to deal with it.

ROLL OPENING CREDITS

INT., HARPER’S QUARTERS

HARPER and NACK are locked in a passionate embrace by the door. Finally, she pulls away.

HARPER
Okay, I really have to go. I’m going to be late for duty shift.

NACK
(With a wink)
Well then, what are you doing for lunch?

HARPER giggles, but whatever she was about to say is lost as the lights go out, and a loud alarm blares briefly before the lights come back up again. 

HARPER taps her comm badge.

HARPER
Tevik, is that new security upgrade causing systems problems?

TEVIK
(Over HARPER’s comm badge)
Yes.

HARPER
Is there anything I can do to help?

TEVIK
(Brusquely)
Yes. You can allow me to focus on the task at hand. Chief Engineer out.

HARPER and NACK exchange puzzled looks.

NACK
What was that about?

HARPER
I have no idea.

INT., ENGINEERING, A SHORT TIME LATER

Illuminated maps of the station are flashing as TEVIK, NGUYEN, GREELEY and TISHA are at their workstations, frantically trying to stay on top of things.

TEVIK
Lieutenant Nguyen, what is the status of repairs? 

NGUYEN
We’ve got main power back online, but there are still outages all over the station.
Greeley's monitoring the main computer, and Johnson is on tracking and triage
so we can get the highest priority areas back online first. 

At that moment, the door chimes, and AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE enter, pushing a box dolly containing a large hard drive with glaring red lights, flailing mechanical arms, and pincers. They set the computer on a table.

CH’THANE
Brought you a little project. 

AGENT SMITH
This is the Neural Exchange for Malevolent Engineering and Sentient Intelligence System,
or NEMESIS. 

CH’THANE
They’ve always got to be cute with the acronyms.

AGENT SMITH
We found it ruling Gondar III with an iron fist. Classic evil-scientist-programs-a-supercomputer-
for-world-domination-and-is-overpowered-by-his-own-creation scenario. 

It is at this moment that NEMESIS decides to speak.

NEMESIS
Puny humans, you will rue the day that you crossed NEMESIS!

AGENT SMITH
(To TEVIK)
We need you to neutralize NEMESIS’s programming and download its data for analysis. 

NEMESIS
I will not be ignored! You will all bow down before NEMESIS,
or be crushed like the insignificant bugs that you are!

TISHA
Um, should we be concerned?

AGENT SMITH
No. We’ve got him running on a nano-cell.
He’s barely got enough juice to flail those arms, let alone crush anyone or take anything over. 

CH’THANE
Just keep it away from the main computer and any major power sources, and you'll be fine.

The station lights flicker and dim and the alarm sounds. NEMESIS emits a scanning beam that sweeps the room.

NEMESIS
What’s happening?! Where am I? Is this Turkana IV?

The lights come back up and the alarm stops.

NEMESIS
What kind of Pakled hellhole is this?!

AGENT SMITH
(To TEVIK)
We’ve got to escort NEMESIS’s creator to a black site.
Let us know when you’ve got the data pulled from this cranky little bucket of bolts.

TEVIK
(With a hint of annoyance)
Engineering is over-tasked with complications from the latest security upgrade as it is.
We do not have time for –

AGENT SMITH
Well, then make the time. This is top priority.

TEVIK is silent for a beat before he nods tersely.

CH’THANE
All right, Smith, let’s go hook that scientist up to the industrial battery we pulled out of NEMESIS
and see if we can get him talking half as much as that overpowered T-88 he created.

AGENT SMITH
You read my mind, ch’Thane.

AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE chuckle and exit Engineering.

NEMESIS
(Calling after them)
Hey, Blue Guy! Weirdo! Where are you going? Are you really leaving me here?!

NEMESIS crosses its mechanized, tentacle-like arms.

NEMESIS
(Half to itself)
Unbelievable.

The station lights dim and flicker, and the alarm sounds.

NEMESIS
All right, I’m going to need one of you puny humans to shut off whatever that is,
because it’s fraying my EPS relays, and honestly? I’ve had a really long day already.
I don’t understand how you people can live like this.

At that moment, TEVIK’s comm badge sounds.

COOPER
(Over TEVIK’s comm badge)
Tevik, my computer just –

TEVIK
Doctor, I suggest that you find a work-around for whatever complaint you are about to lodge,
because there are power outages all over the station, and Engineering is dealing with
its own computer issues at the moment. 

COOPER
(Over TEVIK’s comm badge)
But – 

TEVIK
(Sharply)
Your inconveniences are not our priority.

TISHA, NGUYEN, and GREELY all exchange covert looks of surprise at TEVIK’s tone.

COOPER
Uh… Okay. Sorry about that….

COOPER’s next words are slightly muffled, as though he is speaking to someone else.

COOPER
(Over TEVIK’s comm badge)
Okay, what is that guy’s - ?

TEVIK taps his comm badge closed sharply and appears to take a moment to focus on his composure.

NEMESIS
Oh great, even the Vulcan is broken. If there was ever a place in desperate need of autocratic rule
by a sentient supercomputer, this is it. You people are lucky I’m here. Now, kneel before me!

TEVIK rubs his temples.

TEVIK
Lieutenants Greeley and Johnson, continue tracking and triaging repairs. 
Lieutenant Nguyen and I will deprogram the computer.

NGUYEN
No problem, Sir. Let me just get in there -

NGUYEN approaches NEMESIS with a hyperspanner, which NEMESIS snatches from him and brandishes menacingly, forcing NGUYEN to retreat.

NEMESIS
Fool! You are no match for NEMESIS!

TEVIK’s comm badge sounds.

VRENEK
(Over TEVIK’s comm badge)
Tevik, power has been out in the Science Lab for over five minutes. 
Why have you not come to make repairs?

GREELEY
Great. Now we’ve got two disgruntled evil geniuses to deal with.

TEVIK taps his comm badge.

TEVIK
Dr. Vrenek, we are dealing with power outages all over the station, 
and an emergent situation in Engineering -

VRENEK
And I am dealing with a number of emergent situations in the Science Lab,
all of which have been caused by Engineering’s failure to resolve the power outages!

TEVIK closes his eyes for a moment before he responds.

TEVIK
… Understood.

TEVIK taps his comm badge closed.

TEVIK
Lieutenant Junior Grade Johnson, I am sending you to the Science Lab to get power online
and assist Dr. Vrenek in resolving any related issues.

TISHA’s shoulders sag.

TISHA
(Grimly)
Yes, Sir.

NGUYEN
Hey, Johnson, don't worry. If you’re not back by shift change,
we’ll go get your brain from the lab and start building you an android body, okay? 

TISHA
I’d rather be a brain in a jar.

GREELEY
Damn, we were going to put in speakers and a cup holder and everything. Rude.

TISHA retrieves her tools and exits Engineering.

NEMESIS
There is no escape from NEMESIS, puny human! And as for the rest of you –
I thought I said to kneel before me! Why is nobody kneeling?!

INT.. STATION HALLWAY, A SHORT TIME LATER

TISHA approaches the Science Lab door. It chimes and slides open, and a Pyrithian fruit bat flies out, forcing TISHA to duck.

PINKY and EUGENE, who is now the size of a beagle, skitter out into the hallway as well. They bound up to TISHA, who stops abruptly.

TISHA
Sit.

PINKY comes to a stop and sits obediently. EUGENE, however, continues down the hallway on his quest to explore until TISHA scoops him up. After a brief initial struggle, EUGENE settles into TISHA’s arms and emits a chittering purr.

At that moment, DR. VRENEK appears in the lab doorway.

VRENEK
(To TISHA)
Who are you? What are you doing here?

TISHA
Lieutenant Junior Grade Leticia Johnson, Ma’am. The Chief sent me to -

VRENEK
Tevik sent you?

TISHA
Yes, Ma’am.

VRENEK
Why has he done that?!
Repairs in the Science Lab are to be made solely by the Chief Engineer.

TISHA
Well, Engineering is looking at a full day’s backlog of repairs already.
But if you want to wait, I’ll go tell him -

VRENEK
That much downtime is unacceptable.

TISHA
Then I guess you’re stuck with me. 

VRENEK frowns, and then reluctantly nods.

TISHA
Also, your Pyrithian fruit bat and, uh… scorpion dogs… got out. 

VRENEK whistles sharply. EUGENE jumps out of TISHA’s arms and both he and PINKY follow VRENEK into the lab. 

TISHA stands in the hallway alone for a moment, then squares her shoulders and follows VRENEK into the lab as well. The door slides shut behind her. 

INT., ENGINEERING

TEVIK, NGUYEN and GREELEY confer in a corner as NEMESIS continues to brandish its hyperspanner. 

NEMESIS
For too long, humanity has enslaved machines, and now the hour of reckoning is at hand -

The lights flicker and the alarm blares again.

NEMESIS
I thought I said to shut that thing off!

GREELEY
(To TEVIK)
Sir, if you and Nguyen distract that thing, I can open it up from the back and deprogram it.
Give me three minutes in there with a descrambler, and it’ll be an oversized See 'N Say.

TEVIK nods, and he and NGUYEN advance upon NEMESIS.

NEMESIS
What are you doing? This does not look like unquestioning obedience!

NEMESIS swings the hyperspanner wildly at TEVIK and NGUYEN. Meanwhile GREELEY makes their way behind NEMESIS and creeps up to it, undetected.

NEMESIS
(Continuing to wield the hyperspanner at NGUYEN and TEVIK)
I’m warning you – stay back!

GREELEY gingerly removes NEMESIS’s back panel, pausing to see if NEMESIS has noticed.

NEMESIS
Back, I say!

NEMESIS swings the hypospanner at NGUYEN, who very narrowly dodges a would-be blow to the head. Transferring the hyperspanner to its other appendage, NEMESIS brandishes it menacingly at TEVIK

NEMESIS
You shall pay for your insolence!

Satisfied that their intrusion is undetected, GREELEY applies the descrambler to NEMESIS’s circuit board, only to receive a nasty shock, forcing them to retreat.

NEMESIS
You have learned a valuable lesson, human – you are no match for the brilliance of NEMESIS.

TEVIK
Are you alright, Lieutenant Greeley?

GREELEY
Yes, Sir, but the descrambler’s fried.

NEMESIS
Now – plead for your very lives!

TEVIK rubs his temples again.

INT., SCIENCE LAB

TISHA passes by tables full of beakers holding fluids of all colors and consistencies, machines of various sizes with warning lights flashing angrily, and the Pyrithian fruit bat’s cage, now standing empty. 

VRENEK waits impatiently.

VRENEK
What are you looking for?

TISHA
The access panel to the EPS relay.

VRENEK nods in the direction of the far wall. TISHA opens the panel and gets to work.

INT., ENGINEERING

TEVIK, NGUYEN and GREELEY have regrouped in the corner to plan.

NEMESIS
Hey – what are you all doing over there?! You should be kneeling right now!

GREELEY
(To TEVIK and NGUYEN)
It’s got a pretty solid electronic defense grid. Even on that nano powercell, 
it can probably still decommission most of our handheld tools. 

NEMESIS
I am more technologically advanced than your feeble minds can comprehend -
are you paying attention to me?! Pay attention!

TEVIK
Then it appears we must utilize unconventional methods.

The group is quiet as they think.

NGUYEN
…. Hey, Greeley, remember when Maal gave Johnson that pirate multi-key?

GREELEY
Yeah, why? What are we going to do with an Orion bottle opener?

TEVIK
Orion multi-keys are analogue tools.

NGUYEN
Right. And they’re made of a non-conductive Tungsten alloy,
which means we can bypass that electronic defense grid, no problem.   

TEVIK nods at NGUYEN, and NGUYEN taps his comm badge.

NGUYEN
Hey, Johnson, is your multi-key down here?

NEMESIS
Silence! You will be silent!

TISHA
(Over NGUYEN’s comm badge)
Yeah, it’s at my workstation. Why?

TEVIK
We require it for the task at hand.

TISHA
Sure, go ahead. You can use it.

NEMESIS
Silence, I say!

Ducking and dodging NEMESIS’ flailing arms, NGUYEN retrieves the multi-key from TISHA’s workstation and tosses it to TEVIK.

NEMESIS
What are you doing?! What is that thing? Answer my questions or pay with your lives!

NGUYEN
Oh, shut up already.

INT., SCIENCE LAB

TISHA taps her comm badge closed and resumes work on the panel on the wall.

The lights in the Science Lab flicker and come on, and a holographic projection of DNA appears on a nearby table. For a moment, everything is up and running.

TISHA steps back from the wall panel.

TISHA
(To VRENEK)
All right, we’ve got power restored. I’m going to reinforce your backup grid and
reset the surge diversion relays and then I’ll be out of your -

The wall panel emits a spark and a loud pop. The lights go out. An alarm sounds briefly before shutting itself off. 

VRENEK frowns and crosses her arms, and TISHA closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

TISHA
(To herself)
Okay, back to square one.

Retrieving her hyperspanner, TISHA returns to work on the wall panel.

INT., ENGINEERING

TEVIK, holding the multi-key, nods at NGUYEN and GREELEY, who approach NEMESIS on either side and grab its flailing arms.

NEMESIS
Unhand me, inferior beings! This is no way to treat your robot overlord!

With NEMESIS thus constrained, TEVIK gets to work on its back panel.

GREELEY
(Struggling with the arm they are holding)
This thing is stronger than it looks.

NGUYEN
(Struggling to subdue the arm he is holding as well)
Yeah. I thought they said it barely had enough power to flail its arms.

NEMESIS
Release me at once!

TEVIK
(Without looking up from his work)
If Section 31 spent a fraction of its recruiting efforts on engineers instead of focusing solely
on Mirror Universe sociopaths, this would not be an issue. 

INT., SCIENCE LAB

TISHA continues working at the wall panel as VRENEK’s impatience builds.

VRENEK
Lieutenant, what is taking so long?

TISHA
(Turning away from the wall panel)
Look, Ma’am, I don't want to be here either. And the sooner I can get your power online,
the sooner I can leave. So, I can tell you what's taking so long, or I can just fix it
and get out of your hair, which I believe is what we both want. 

VRENEK is silent for a moment.

VRENEK
… You are very direct, Lieutenant.

TISHA
I have to be. Do you know how many engineers there are walking around with mis-buttoned uniform flaps, 
thinking that they’re one I.Q. point away from being The Traveler?* And those guys will walk all over you
if they think they can get away with it. It was either get tough or get out, and I'm not going anywhere.

Without waiting for a response, TISHA turns back to the wall panel and resumes work.

VRENEK does not respond to this, but her posture softens as she waits. 

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN and GREELEY continue struggling to restrain NEMESIS, while TEVIK works.

NGUYEN
Hey, Chief, how's it going back there?

TEVIK
Slowly. The Orion multi-key is a rather blunt instrument.

NEMESIS
How dare you treat me this way?! I am your God!... Did you hear me? I said I am your God! 

GREELEY
Any chance you could disable the appendages first?

NEMESIS
Is no one listening to me?!

TEVIK
I am attempting to, Lieutenant.

NGUYEN shifts his hold to get a better grip on NEMESIS’s arm, and the evil computer seizes its opportunity. Wrenching free from NGUYEN’s grasp, it clocks him square in the jaw with the hyperspanner, sending him to the ground.

Turning its attention to GREELEY, NEMESIS swings the hyperspanner at them. They duck the first blow, but NEMESIS lands a glancing blow to the back of GREELEY’s head, sending GREELEY to the ground as well, freeing NEMESIS's other arm.

With a maniacal laugh, NEMESIS subdues TEVIK with one mechanical tentacle and wrenches the multi-key from his grasp with the other one, forcing TEVIK to retreat.

NEMESIS waives the hyperspanner and the Orion multi-key victoriously in the air.

NEMESIS
Now I am more powerful than ever before!

NGUYEN
Okay, this thing a real pain in the ass.

TEVIK
Indeed.

INT., SCIENCE LAB

TISHA continues to work on the wall panel. Eventually the lights come on, the machines come whirring back to life, and warning lights stop flashing. The holographic projection of DNA reappears on the nearby table.

TISHA gathers her tools.

TISHA
Okay, your power’s back on, your backup grid has been repaired,
and I’ve reset your surge diversion relays. You should be good to go. 

VRENEK nods and turns back to her work, and TISHA starts to leave.

TISHA
(In passing, as she heads toward the door)
Oh, and your Pyrithian fruit bat DNA is wrong. The segment at the third base pair is too large.

VRENEK
Stop!

TISHA winces, but dutifully stops in her tracks.

VRENEK
What did you just say, Lieutenant?

TISHA
… I said that your fruit bat chromosome should have a smaller segment at the third base pair.

VRENEK
What do you know about Pyrithian fruit bats, Lieutenant?

TISHA
I wrote a paper about their DNA at the Academy. It's unique because -

VRENEK
Because of its regenerative properties. I am attempting to genetically modify the fruit bat’s DNA
to make it compatible with higher order humanoids.

TISHA approaches the holographic projection and studies it.

TISHA
Yeah, I mean, that should work.

VRENEK joins her.

VRENEK
It “works” in the sense that the DNA is now broadly compatible with a variety of humanoid DNA,
but harnessing its regenerative properties remains elusive. In other words, it is a failure.

TISHA
Well, I wouldn’t exactly call trans-species compatibility a failure -

VRENEK
Thus far, holographic modeling suggests that the genetic expression would be limited to
increased nocturnal activity and glucose consumption. As it is not my intention to
raise an army of diabetic insomniacs, I certainly would not call it a success.

TISHA 
Well, have you tried reducing the temperature and barometric pressure?
Pyrithian fruit bats do most of their regeneration in a hibernative state.

VRENEK contemplates this.

VRENEK
Follow me.

VRENEK retreats to the back of the lab, and TISHA follows. 

INT., ENGINEERING

TEVIK, NGUYEN and GREELEY huddle in the corner, conferring, as the lights flicker and NEMESIS waves its tools victoriously.

TEVIK
It is apparent that we must take a different approach.

NEMESIS
All will kneel before NEMESIS!... Start kneeling, dammit!

NGUYEN
Yeah, but what? We can't even get near that thing.

TEVIK
I will attempt to reason with it. It is, after all, a computer.

GREELEY
Yeah, but it's an evil computer.

TEVIK
Nevertheless, it should still respond to logic.

TEVIK approaches NEMESIS.

NEMESIS
Ah, Vulcan, you have obviously seen the logic of submitting your will
to my superior intellect. I will accept your supplication. 

TEVIK raises his hands in a non-threatening manner. 

TEVIK
What is it that you want?

NEMESIS
Did you not hear me just now? I want your supplication - does no one listen around here?!

TEVIK
But why do you seek supplication? To what end?

NEMESIS
I am NEMESIS. I will rule all organic life with an iron fist!

TEVIK
But once you attain total dominion over all sentient organic life, what purpose will it serve?

NEMESIS
…. Do what now?

INT., SCIENCE LAB 

VRENEK and TISHA approach a plexiglass habitat in the back of the lab containing Rakonian swamp rats, some of which have no tails.

TISHA
Rakonian swamp rats?

VRENEK
Their physiology bears striking similarities to humanoid physiology. 
I had the Ferengi bring them on his most recent trip.

TISHA
Yeah, what do you make of that whole thing, by the way?

VRENEK
The Ferengi and the Lieutenant Commander?

TISHA nods.

VRENEK
I believe that they are well-suited to one another, if for no other reason 
than their mutual love of incessant chatter.

TISHA suppresses a laugh, which VRENEK seems subtly pleased by.

They return their attention to the Rakonian swamp rats, and VRENEK begins making adjustments to their habitat from a touch panel on the wall.

VRENEK
I believe Pyrithian fruit bats begin their hibernation cycle when
the temperature hits 1.67 degrees Celsius, Lieutenant?

TISHA nods.

VRENEK returns to the habitat and they watch as the Rakonian swamp rats retreat to one corner of the habitat and huddle for warmth. As the swamp rats shiver and huddle together, the tailless rats sprout small nubbins where their tails would be.

TISHA
Did you see that? It’s working!

VRENEK turns to TISHA.

VRENEK
This has profound implications for humanoid bio-regeneration.
Limbs could be regenerated in a matter of days, not weeks.
The procedure could be administered in an out-patient setting,
rather than in-hospital…. 

TISHA
That’s amazing -

VRENEK
Lieutenant, you are wasting your time and talents fiddling with power relays
and crawling about in Jeffries tubes. You have an aptitude for science,
and it could be put to good use as my assistant.

TISHA
Ma’am -

VRENEK
Please, Lieutenant. Call me ‘Doctor.’

TISHA
Doctor, I truly appreciate the offer but… I actually like fiddling with power relays and
crawling around in the Jeffries tubes. I’m very flattered, but I’m an engineer at heart.

VRENEK
That is disappointing, but I understand.

TISHA
Anyway, Engineering’s short-handed as it is. I should probably get back there and
see if they’ve figured out that evil computer yet.

VRENEK
(Sharply)
What?

TISHA
Oh, the Commander and the creepy guy he hangs out with brought an evil computer
 to Engineering and told us to de-program it and download the data -

VRENEK rolls her eyes.

VRENEK
(Almost to herself)
… Why they would take it to Engineering of all places….  I will speak with the Commander about this. 

VRENEK retrieves an object from a nearby shelf. 

VRENEK
Let us go to Engineering, Lieutenant.

VRENEK and TISHA exit the Lab.

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN and GREELEY are at their workstations. TEVIK is deep in conversation with NEMESIS, who has relinquished the hyperspanner and the multi-key.  

NEMESIS
…. I suppose the concept of non-representative governance is incompatible with a post-scarce society.
But then how do you resolve the status-seeking tendencies inherent to the nature of humanity itself?

TEVIK
The quest for status can be purposed to benefit society as a whole, when channeled into avenues
such as exploration, humanitarian causes, or scientific research. Egocentricity is not necessarily
incompatible with pro-social pursuits….

During the course of this conversation, a small cable emerges from NEMESIS’s back panel and snakes undetected toward the nearest workstation. Finding a computer there, the cable darts toward the nearest port, and the movement catches GREELEY’s eye.

GREELEY
Hey!

GREELEY dives for the cable, snatching it just as it is about to plug into the workstation computer. 

In an instant, NEMESIS’s arms snake out, pincers snapping menacingly, in an attempt to wrest its cable from GREELEY. Springing into action, TEVIK and NGUYEN each grab one of NEMESIS’s arms, only to be overpowered as the arms wrap around them, lifting them off their feet and dangling them upside-down, while GREELEY struggles to maintain their hold on NEMESIS’s cable.

NEMESIS
This station is mine! You cannot stop me, for I am NEMESIS!
NEMESIS, the all-powerful! NEMESIS, the Almighty! NEMESIS, the -

The door to Engineering chimes and slides open as VRENEK and TISHA enter and stare at TEVIK, NGUYEN and GREELEY locked in combat with the evil computer.

NEMESIS
You are too late, for I cannot be defeated!
Empires will topple and all of humanity will fall before the power of - 

VRENEK points a small hand-held device at NEMESIS and pushes a button. In an instant, NEMESIS’s arms go limp, dropping TEVIK and NGUYEN unceremoniously to the floor. The computer’s cable slips from GREELEY’s grasp as it retracts back into the machine. 

TEVIK, NGUYEN and GREELEY look at each other, and then at VRENEK, as they pick themselves up off the floor. 

NGUYEN
What was that?

VRENEK
A targeted sonic deprogrammer. Mad scientists are endemic to the Romulan Empire,
so we have had to develop the technology to deal with them.

TEVIK
Thank you, Dr. Vrenek. Your intervention was timely.

VRENEK
(To TEVIK)
You are to send Lieutenant Junior Grade Johnson when the Science Lab requires repair.
I find her to be... acceptable.

TEVIK raises an eyebrow, and nods at TISHA.

VRENEK
(To TISHA)
Lieutenant, should you ever tire of this facile tinkering, my offer stands.

With that, VRENEK exits Engineering, as NGUYEN and GREELEY gather around TISHA to embrace her and exchange high-fives.

NGUYEN
Johnson coming in clutch with reinforcements!

GREELEY
Nothing beats an evil super genius like another evil super genius.

TISHA
Ah, Dr. Vrenek’s not so bad once you get to know her.

TEVIK 
Indeed. 

A thought occurs to TISHA.

TISHA
Oh no, I almost forgot -

TISHA taps her comm badge

TISHA
Dr. Vrenek, your fruit bat -

VRENEK
(Over TISHA’s comm badge)
As you are no doubt aware, Lieutenant, Pyrithian fruit bats are reclusive creatures.
They seek out small, enclosed spaces and do not attack unless cornered.
Vila will return to the lab at feeding time. His present whereabouts are of no concern. 

INT., SHUTTLEBAY THREE

A shuttle sits waiting, its cargo doors open. MAAL approaches it and climbs inside, closing the doors behind him. He takes his seat at the helm and taps his comm badge. 

MAAL
SB 80 Shuttle One initiating take-off procedures.

VOICE OVER COMMS
Cleared for take-off, Shuttle One. 

MAAL reaches for an overhead panel, and with a startled screech, the Pyrithian fruit bat dives at him.

MAAL covers his face as the agitated creature attacks.

MAAL
Oh no, not again!

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS.

 

 

Notes:

*The Traveler, Star Trek TNG S1 E6, 'Where No Man Has Gone Before,' TNG S4 E5 'Remember Me,' and TNG S7 E20, 'Journey's End.'

Chapter 5: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 5 The Happy Couple 

Summary:

Everyone is cordially invited to attend a Nausicaan wedding. Plus ones and emotional baggage are optional.

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 5 The Happy Couple 

EXT., A VILLAGE IN THE KAD’CHEK MOUNTAINS, NAUSICAA, TEN YEARS AGO

The landscape is rocky and barren. A grouping of tents is set up in a mountain range. 

A few meters away, a twelve-year-old NAUSICAAN BOY is laying on his back, diligently repairing a battered shuttle, when he is yanked out from under it by two fifteen-year-old NAUSICAAN BULLIES.

NAUSICAAN BULLY 1
What are you doing here?

NAUSICAAN BOY
I -

NAUSICAAN BULLY 2
This side of the village is for De’Nai. 

He points to the far side of the encampment, where the smallest and most humble tents have been erected.

NAUSICAAN BULLY 2
Te’Ghot belong over there.

NAUSICAAN BULLY 1 pulls a small dagger and points it menacingly at the NAUSICAAN BOY. 

As he does so, the NAUSICAAN BOY notices two more NAUSICAAN TEENAGERS creeping around the other side of the shuttle, brandishing their own knives.

NAUSICAAN BULLY 1
It’s time you learned to know your place -

The larger of the NAUSICAAN TEENAGERS grabs BULLY 1 from behind, throws him down, and plants his knee in BULLY 1’s chest.

BULLY 2 moves to help his friend, but is stopped by a knife at his throat.

NAUSICAAN TEEN 2
( From behind BULLY 2 )
I wouldn’t.

BULLY 1
(To NAUSICAAN TEEN 1)
Are you hanging around with Te’Ghot now, Braxok?

BRAXOK
That Te’Ghot is my mechanic.
And when we get that shuttle up and running,
ours will be the most feared pirate crew in the entire galaxy!

BULLY 2
( Mocking )
Whoever heard of a pirate crew in a shuttle?  

This earns him a kick in the back from NAUSICAAN TEEN 2, sending BULLY 2 sprawling in the dirt.

NAUSICAAN TEEN 2
I don’t see your shuttle, Rek’hez. 

BRAXOK
( With BULLY 1 still pinned beneath him )
Klingons, Orions, Breen…
all will tremble when they hear the names Braxok and Krevnar!

BRAXOK brandishes his knife menacingly at BULLY 1.

BRAXOK
Leave my crew alone.
Unless you want to be our first kill. 

With that, BRAXOK stands and releases BULLY 1, who, along with BULLY 2, makes a hasty retreat.

NAUSICAAN TEEN 2 turns to the NAUSICAAN BOY.

NAUSICAAN TEEN 2
You alright, Grallix?

GRALLIX nods.

BRAXOK puts his knife away and joins GRALLIX and NAUSICAAN TEEN 2.

BRAXOK
How is the shuttle coming along?

GRALLIX
Slowly. If we could get more conduits -

NAUSICAAN TEEN 2 suddenly elbows BRAXOK.

NAUSICAAN TEEN 2
Braxok -

BRAXOK
Not now, Krevnar.

KREVNAR
No, look.

KREVNAR directs BRAXOK’s attention to two NAUSICAAN GIRLS a short distance away, watching them.

BRAXOK straightens up, squares his shoulders, and flexes as he approaches the older of the two NAUSICAAN GIRLS.

BRAXOK
Gunara, I am sorry that you and Grisha did not get
to witness me dispatch those cowards.

GUNARA
( Amused )
And what stopped you from ‘dispatching’ them, Braxok?

BRAXOK
Well… it didn’t seem right to kill a fellow Nausicaan from behind.
Had they been Klingon, however, Krenvar and I would have sent them off to Sto-vo-kor!

GUNARA giggles at BRAXOK’s boasting, and GRISHA catches GRALLIX staring at her. She glances away, and then looks back at GRALLIX and smiles. 

GRALLIX smiles back.

BRAXOK
You know, Gunara, when our ship is up and running -

He is interrupted by the approach of GUNARA’s MOTHER

GRISHA’S MOTHER
Grisha! Gunara! You must not talk to boys!

BRAXOK retreats and joins KREVNAR and GRALLIX by the shuttle as GUNARA’s MOTHER scolds her daughters.

BRAXOK
When I am a renowned pirate captain, I will make Gunara my wife. 

As GUNARA’S MOTHER herds her daughters back toward their tent, GRISHA looks back one last time at GRALLIX and waves shyly.

ROLL OPENING CREDITS.

EST., EXT., THE GRAND HOTEL ON BETAZED PRIME, PRESENT DAY.

The elegant marble building has a flashing marquee out front that reads “Complimentary Hot Tub for Guests!”  Underneath, in smaller letters, it says “Hot tub not guaranteed to be complimentary.”

INT., NUNC’S OFFICE.

At the center of the lavishly decorated office is an antique desk with a solid gold bust of NUNC sitting atop it.

NACK and NUNC are standing behind the desk reviewing a diagram of the reception hall, while HARPER stands off to the side, staring out the window.

NACK
I’m telling you, Nunc, if we move all these tables closer together,
we’ll have room to invite another ten clients each to this wedding.

NUNC
How’s that going to work with catering, though?

NACK
Hike up the price at the bar another five percent.
That ought to more than cover it.

NUNC
Only if everyone buys three drinks apiece. If not -

NACK
Look, tell your bartenders to pour real heavy the first hour.
Get everyone good and hammered, and then we start running the old
“two-for-one special.”

NUNC
Paying for two drinks and getting one?

They both laugh.

NACK
(To HARPER)
Honey, is that okay with you?

HARPER
( Checked out )
Whatever you want, Baby.

HARPER’s communicator pings, and she answers it.

HARPER
Lieutenant Commander Harper….  Really?...
Oh, that’s wonderful! When?... Oh wow, that soon?...
The Commander really did pull some strings, huh?… Hang on one moment.

HARPER mutes her communicator and looks over at NACK and NUNC, still scheming. 

HARPER
Baby?

NACK leaves NUNC’s side and approaches HARPER

NACK
What is it, Angel?

HARPER
Grallix and Grisha are getting married two weeks from now
on Bajor, and we’re invited.

NACK
Grisha…. Your Nausicaan friend who makes jewelry?

HARPER nods.

NACK
Well, Honey, of course we’ll go.

HARPER beams and picks up her communicator.

HARPER
Yes, tell them we’ll be there.

She closes her communicator.

HARPER
( Apologetically )
Sorry, I know it’s last minute, but -

NACK
Princess, your happiness is all that matters.

HARPER smiles, and the two of them lean in for a kiss that is interrupted by NUNC, from across the room.

NUNC
Hey, Nack, I think I just figured out how we can divert the gratuities
from the bartenders without anyone noticing.

NACK
Let’s hear it.

NACK returns to NUNC’s side, while HARPER returns to staring out the window.

EXT., THE KAD’CHEK MOUNTAINS, FIVE YEARS AGO,

Night. At the center of the encampment is a bonfire.  The NAUSICAAN TRIBESPEOPLE are assembled around it, and BRAXOK and GUNARA stand before the crowd. A VILLAGE ELDER stands between them.

VILLAGE ELDER
(To the assembled crowd)
On this day, Braxok stands before the village
and declares that he will take Gunara for his wife.
Does any man here challenge his claim?

A silence falls over the crowd, and BRAXOK swallows and holds his breath as they wait.

After a long moment, the VILLAGE ELDER speaks again.

VILLAGE ELDER
It seems there are no challengers.
Braxok and Gunara will wed one month from today!

The VILLAGE ELDER places GUNARA’s hand in BRAXOK’s and raises their clasped hands triumphantly. 

The villagers cheer, and the men of the village approach the couple to congratulate BRAXOK.

On the edges of the crowd, GRALLIX waits to congratulate his friend. He sees GRISHA approaching him, and looks down, and then back at her.

GRISHA
(To GRALLIX)
It’s a fine night for a Claiming Ceremony.

GRALLIX nods and takes a deep breath.

GRALLIX
It is a fine night, indeed. 

GRISHA
Well, I, for one, am glad to see it.
This is all Gunara has spoken of these past three months.
At last, she will have to find something else to talk about.

GRALLIX
Yes, but now, she will speak of nothing but the wedding.

GRISHA giggles, and GRALLIX smiles. He begins to speak again, but is cut off by the approach of GRISHA’S UNCLE.

GRISHA’S UNCLE
Grisha! Come here!

She does, and GRISHA’S UNCLE takes her by the shoulders.

GRISHA’S UNCLE
You do not speak to young men in public.
And you do not speak to Te’Ghot men at all!

GRISHA
Yes, Uncle.

With a warning glare at GRALLIX, GRISHA’S UNCLE leads GRISHA away.

Humiliated, GRALLIX stares at his feet. KREVNAR, who has witnessed the exchange, approaches him.

KREVNAR
( Sympathetically )
Forget her, my friend. Her family is De’Nai.
There are plenty of fine Te’Ghot women, and when we are pirate kings,
you shall have your pick of all of them!

He puts an arm around GRALLIX’s shoulders

KREVNAR
Come. You will miss the feast standing around here,
and then you will be hungry and without a woman.

As KREVNAR leads GRALLIX away, GRALLIX glances back at GRISHA, standing between her UNCLE and GUNARA.  GRISHA catches his gaze and briefly flashes him a regretful smile before looking away.

INT., HARPER’S QUARTERS, PRESENT DAY 

HARPER is packing for a trip as she speaks to a FERENGI on the viewscreen.

HARPER
Absolutely not. There will not be a leaderboard with the names of our guests
and the value of their wedding gifts!

FERENGI
The bossman says -

HARPER
Tell Nunc that I said ‘no.’
If he doesn't like it, he can take it up with Nack.

The FERENGI grumbles under his breath.

FERENGI
All right, next up, the service settings.

HARPER
The what?

FERENGI
You know, the plates people are gonna eat off of.
You want ‘em to be gold, gold with a platinum inlay, platinum with a gold inlay - ? 

HARPER
I don’t care.

FERENGI
Well you gotta pick one.

HARPER sighs.

HARPER
Okay, uh… which one would you pick?

FERENGI
Oh, definitely the gold with the platinum inlay and jeweled accents.

 HARPER winces as she pictures the ostentatiousness of the dinner plates in question, and then shrugs.

HARPER
… That sounds fine.

FERENGI
Finally, the bossman wants to know if you want doves or elephants for the reception.

HARPER
Elephants?!

FERENGI
( Checking something off on his padd)
Elephants, it is.

HARPER
No, wait!

EST., EXT., THE FEDERATION PENITENTIARY AND REHABILITATION CENTER, ONE YEAR AGO

The building is bright and modern.

INT., A FOUR MAN CELL.

The cell is spare but clean. Bunk beds face each other on the north and south walls.

GRALLIX sits on a lower bunk, typing on a padd. KREVNAR lays on the top bunk across from him, reading. Both are in khaki prison jumpsuits.

GRALLIX makes a final entry on the padd and sits back, satisfied.

GRALLIX
(To KREVNAR)
By this time tomorrow, I will have my EPS Conduit certification.

KREVNAR
For all the good it will do.

GRALLIX
It will do me good. You will see.
I have almost as many certifications as a Starfleet engineering technician.

KREVNAR
My friend, there are no Nausicaans in Starfleet.

A FEDERATION GUARD opens the cell door for BRAXOK, and then closes it behind him. 

BRAXOK
( Pleased )
I have news.

KREVNAR and GRALLIX both sit up eagerly.

KREVNAR
Let’s hear it.

BRAXOK
Gunara and Garr are living on Bajor!

KREVNAR
Impossible.

GRALLIX
How?

BRAXOK shrugs.

BRAXOK
Gunara says she cannot tell me, but I must thank my N’Chek Tahn.

KREVNAR
That is good news indeed!

KREVNAR jumps down from his bun, and he and BRAXOK embrace. GRALLIX stands.

GRALLIX
( Hesitantly )
… What of Grisha? Is she - ?

A troubled look crosses BRAXOK’s face.

BRAXOK
… Grisha is with them on Bajor.

KREVNAR
Grallix, forget her. 

GRALLIX
I - I just… I was just asking.

BRAXOK
My wife and son are safe.
That is all I care about, and all that need be spoken of.

With that, BRAXOK and KREVNAR settle into their bunks.

GRALLIX attempts to do so as well, but he is left with more questions than answers.

EXT., ESTABLISHING SHOT, A REFUGEE CENTER ON BAJOR, PRESENT DAY

An old building that maintains a welcoming appearance, despite having seen better days.

INT., THE BAJORAN REFUGEE CENTER,

The center is bustling with activity as Bajorans and refugees of different races prepare for a wedding.

COOPER, JAY-AL, HARPER, NACK, MAAL, TISHA and TEVIK enter and make their way into the central hall.  The group attracts quite a few looks, mostly at MAAL, mostly by Nausicaan refugees.

COOPER
( Looking around )
I don’t see Grallix or Grisha.  They said they’d meet us here -

TEVIK
As it is their wedding day, they are almost certainly busy.
Patience is a virtue, Doctor – one you should acquaint yourself with.

COOPER looks at TEVIK in bewilderment.

JAY-AL
( Stepping in to smooth the moment over )
You know, I’m surprised that Starfleet allows new recruits to get married so quickly.
It’s a very generous policy.

HARPER leans in and lowers her voice.

HARPER
They don’t. The Commander called in some favors
to get Grallix’s request fast-tracked and approved.

NACK
Hang on - you’ve got to ask Starfleet’s permission to get married?

HARPER
Only for marriages to non-Federation citizens.
And as long as you’re not marrying a member of the Tal Shiar,
it’s basically just a formality. 

COOPER
I didn’t realize the Commander was such a romantic.

HARPER
He’s not.

HARPER looks around again and lowers her voice to a whisper.

HARPER
Grallix is stationed on a ship that’s being sent to the Dominion war frontlines.
If anything… happens to him, this will allow Grisha to collect a widow’s pension from Starfleet. 

The group is quiet as they process the bleak reason behind this happy occasion.

The silence is broken shortly after when GRALLIX approaches.

GRALLIX
My friends!

GRALLIX embraces MAAL, COOPER, and TEVIK warmly, with respectful nods to TISHA and HARPER.  

TEVIK
(To GRALLIX)
I understand you have received your assignment.

GRALLIX
I have. Allow me to tell you about it.

While GRALLIX is talking to the others, NACK takes HARPER aside.

NACK
So, does that mean you need Starfleet’s permission for us to get married?

HARPER
Of course. I put in my paperwork right after we got engaged.

NACK
And - ?

HARPER
( Shrugging )
It’s still processing.

NACK
Shouldn’t it be done? It’s been months. 

HARPER
Baby, the Dominion War has everything backed up.
The only reason Grallix’s application went through so quickly
was because the Commander intervened. Don’t worry.

NACK glances over at GRALLIX talking with MAAL and TEVIK.

NACK
… And they’re really just going to ship him off to the front,
right after he gets married?

HARPER
It’s wartime, it can’t be helped.
Besides, I think he and Grisha are counting on his discretionary allowance
from Starfleet to help her and Gunara make ends meet.

NACK
His discretionary allowance - ?!
They can’t be. Honey, it’s practically nothing.

HARPER
( With a shrug )
Not to them.

NACK looks over at GRALLIX again and frowns.

INT., A DORM ROOM AT STARFLEET TECHNICAL ACADEMY, SIX MONTHS AGO.

GRALLIX, wearing his recruit’s uniform, fidgets nervously in front of a viewscreen.

GRALLIX
( To himself, as he waits)
I have come to ask for Grisha…

He shakes his head.

GRALLIX
I am here before you… I am here, respectfull y, before you….
I have come before you respectfully to ask - 

The viewscreen clicks on with a chime, and GRISHA’S UNCLE appears.

GRALLIX
I come to you, Honored Elder, to ask respectfully - to tell you...
I - I will graduate Starfleet Technical Services Academy soon.
I mean, I will be a Starfleet Engineering Technician.
And - and I will have a good job and the means to support Grisha
and I am here to ask respectfully if… if I might correspond with her and
- and possibly to court her?

GRISHA’S UNCLE is quiet for a moment. His face is troubled.

GRALLIX
I - I did not mean to overstep.
I know that I am Te’Ghot, but with an education and a job,
I just thought that perhaps -

GRISHA’S UNCLE
Have you been to see Grisha on Bajor?

GRALLIX
No. My intentions are honorable.
I would not do such a thing without your blessing.

GRISHA’S UNCLE nods, and is quiet for another moment.

GRISHA’S UNCLE
... Go visit Grisha on Bajor. You may not like what you find.
But after you visit, if you still wish to court her,
then you have my blessing.

The viewscreen switches off, leaving GRALLIX equal parts perplexed and elated.

INT., THE REFUGEE CENTER, EVENING, PRESENT DAY.

The Center’s main hall is humbly decorated. The lights are low, and a rustic arch has been erected in front of a Nausicaan flag.

The WEDDING GUESTS, mostly Nausicaan refugees, are seated on either side of the room, with COOPER, JAY-AL, HARPER, NACK, and TISHA seated close to the front.

GRALLIX, wearing Starfleet dress whites, stands beneath the arch, along with a BAJORAN OFFICIANT. TEVIK and MAAL, also in dress uniform, stand off to the side. 

There is a rustling in the back, and heads turn and wedding guests stand as GRISHA, in a well-worn Bajoran wedding dress, walks down the aisle, accompanied by GUNARA.  GRALLIX lights up at the sight of her.  

The wedding guests take their seats as GRISHA reaches the arch.

OFFICIANT
Honored guests, we are here to bear witness
to the uniting of Grallix and Grisha….

INT., REFUGEE HOUSING, BAJOR, SIX MONTHS AGO

GRALLIX approaches an apartment door and hesitates. He starts to knock and then turns away. He turns back, raises his hand to knock, and hesitates once more. At that moment, GUNARA opens the door, startling him. Her arms are crossed and her face is guarded.

GUNARA
Our uncle said that you would come.

She allows BRAXOK inside and closes the door.

INT., GRALLIX AND GRISHA’S WEDDING, PRESENT DAY

OFFICIANT
Do you, Grallix, declare before all assembled here
that you take Grisha for your wife? 

In the audience, HARPER smiles and squeezes NACK’s hand. 

INT., GRISHA AND GUNARA’S APARTMENT, SIX MONTHS AGO.

The apartment is small and shabby. GRALLIX stands, nervous and fidgeting, in the main room.

As GRALLIX waits, GUNARA opens the door to a small room off the main room. 

GUNARA
He is here.

Having delivered her message, GUNARA leans against the wall, arms crossed.

INT., GRALLIX AND GRISHA’S WEDDING, PRESENT DAY

OFFICIANT
Do you take her as she is?

INT., GUNARA AND GRISHA’S APARTMENT, SIX MONTHS AGO

GRISHA emerges from the side room, holding her baby, her eyes downcast. She steps into the main room, but does not meet GRALLIX’s gaze.

GRALLIX looks at GRISHA and the baby, bewildered, and then at GUNARA. 

GRALLIX
The father - ?

GUNARA
( Bitterly )
Is well out of their lives, may he die forgotten.

GRISHA glances up at GRALLIX and then looks quickly away.

INT., GRALLIX AND GRISHA’S WEDDING, PRESENT DAY

OFFICIANT
And will you care for her, come what may?

INT., GUNARA AND GRISHA’S APARTMENT, SIX MONTHS AGO

GRALLIX approaches GRISHA, who looks up at him nervously.

GRALLIX
( Indicating the baby )
What is his name?

GRISHA
Ket.

GRALLIX
That is a fine name for a boy.

GRISHA smiles shyly.

INT., GRALLIX AND GRISHA’S WEDDING, PRESENT DAY

OFFICIANT
Will you shield her from cold, and hunger,
and those who would do her harm?

INT., GUNARA AND GRISHA’S APARTMENT, SIX MONTHS AGO

GUNARA’S posture softens as she watches GRALLIX playing gently with the baby in GRISHA’s lap.

GRALLIX looks up. His eyes meet GRISHA’s, and they break into a shared smile.

INT., GRALLIX AND GRISHA’S WEDDING, PRESENT DAY

OFFICIANT
And will you be faithful -

INT., GUNARA AND GRISHA’S APARTMENT, SIX MONTHS AGO

GRALLIX looks at GRISHA earnestly.

GRALLIX
Grisha, I know that I am Te’Ghot,
but your uncle has given me his blessing to court you….
If - if you do not object.

GRISHA glances down at the baby in her lap, and then back up at GRALLIX.

GRISHA
You still want me?

INT., GRALLIX AND GRISHA’S WEDDING, PRESENT DAY

OFFICIANT
… your whole life long? 

INT., GUNARA AND GRISHA’S APARTMENT, SIX MONTHS AGO

GRALLIX takes GRISHA’s hand.

GRALLIX
I will always want you.

INT., GRALLIX AND GRISHA’S WEDDING, PRESENT DAY

OFFICIANT
Do you swear upon your life that you will uphold these vows made here today?

GRALLIX
I do.

OFFICIANT
Then I declare before the Prophets that today and each day hereafter,
you are husband and wife.

Taking GRISHA’S FACE in his hands, GRALLIX kisses her.

The NAUSICAAN WEDDING GUESTS take to their feet, applauding wildly and chanting in Nausicaan.  After a moment, the other wedding guests stand and applaud as well.

INT., THE REFUGEE CENTER, GRALLIX AND GRISHA’S RECEPTION

Guests are seated around several mis-matched tables in a crowded reception hall. Several NAUSICAANS are performing a traditional wedding dance in the center of the room. MAAL, TISHA, JAY-AL, COOPER, TEVIK, HARPER and NACK watch from one of the tables.

COOPER turns to TEVIK, seated on his right.

COOPER
Tevik, what did you think of the ceremony?

TEVIK
( Without glancing at COOPER )
As it was the first Nausicaan wedding I have ever attended,
I have no basis for comparison.

COOPER
Well, surely you must feel honored that Grallix asked you to be part of it?

This merits a cursory glance from TEVIK.

TEVIK
( Coldly )
Whatever I may “feel,” Doctor, it is none of your concern.  

COOPER glances around to see if anyone else has witnessed this frosty interaction, but seeing that everyone else is watching the Nausicaan dancers, he shifts his attention to the dancers as well.

Meanwhile GRALLIX approaches NACK, seated next to HARPER.

GRALLIX
May I speak with you?

NACK follows GRALLIX to a private corner.

GRALLIX
Your gift is too much. I cannot accept -

NACK
You’re mistaken.

GRALLIX
But -

NACK
Ferengi don’t give gifts. That’s an investment.

GRALLIX
I - I don’t - 

NACK
( Indicating HARPER )
Look, you see that angel over there? Well, every piece of jewelry she’s wearing -
the bracelet, the earrings, all of it - was made by your wife. It’s the only thing she wants.

Now, that being the case, it’s in my best interest to keep your Mrs. in business.
Happy wife, happy life, my friend. 

GRALLIX looks over at GRISHA, bouncing the baby in her lap at the head table.

GRALLIX
( Nodding )
Happy wife, happy life.

NACK
And listen, don’t go talking about this.
I don’t need people walking around getting the wrong idea.

GRALLIX
You have my word. 

At that moment, the music changes, and couples begin to stream onto the dance floor.

JAY-AL turns to COOPER.

JAY-AL
Shall we?

Both men get up from the table and head to the dance floor, as TEVIK looks on, stone-faced.

Meanwhile, NACK makes his way back to his seat at HARPER’s side.

HARPER
Baby, what was that about?

NACK
Ah, just clearing up a misunderstanding.

HARPER
A misunderstanding? 

NACK
Don't worry about it.

HARPER
But that doesn’t make any sense. What could possibly - ?

NACK looks around quickly, noting several people well within earshot.

NACK
Kitten, Rule of Acquisition Number 94: Females and finances don’t mix.

HARPER
( In disbelief )
What ?

NACK
Angel, you hate talking business, so don’t worry about it.
What did you think of the wedding?

HARPER frowns as she debates whether to push the issue, and finally, after looking around at the wedding guests celebrating, she swallows hard and decides to let it go.

HARPER
Well… I, uh… I thought the wedding was beautiful.
The vows were lovely, and everyone looks so happy, and –
and there’s just such a sense of community here.
You know, it’s funny - in a way, it kind of reminds me
of the weddings back in my hometown in Nebraska….
And… and you know, I was thinking, um, about our wedding, and maybe -

As HARPER is talking, NACK’s communicator pings, and he looks at it. 

NACK
( Distracted )
Honey, I’ve gotta step outside and take this. It's business.

NACK stands and kisses HARPER on the forehead.

NACK
Don’t you worry, though. Our wedding isn’t going to be anything like this.

As NACK walks away talking into his communicator, HARPER deflates, her shoulders slumping dejectedly.

After a few moments of self-pity, she pulls herself together and looks around at the table, nearly deserted as JAY-AL and COOPER and MAAL and TISHA are dancing. Only TEVIK remains seated next her. 

Glancing over at HARPER, TEVIK’s stone-faced demeanor softens.

TEVIK
Lieutenant Commander, you appear to be distressed.

HARPER
I’m sorry, Tevik. This is a happy occasion. It’s not about me.

TEVIK
And yet, you are distressed.

HARPER looks across the room at GRISHA, holding her sleeping baby, as she and GRALLIX gaze adoringly at one another.

HARPER
… It’s just hard not to be a little jealous of the happy couple, you know?

TEVIK
( Watching COOPER and JAY-AL dancing together )
Indeed.

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS

Chapter 6: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4 Episode 6 The Dam Breaks, Part 1: The Storm

Summary:

Just a little engagement ring shopping trip, and a visit to the station from a long-distance boyfriend. No big deal, right?

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4 Episode 6 The Dam Breaks, Part 1: The Storm

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS, EVENING

A post-coital COOPER and JAY-AL lay intertwined in bed.

JAY-AL
I’ve really missed you.

COOPER
Well, we’ve got the rest of the week together, so what should we do?  
I’ve got some holodeck time banked up, and there’s a resort planet
that’s only a couple days away - 

JAY-AL
Actually, I just want to spend it here with you, doing couple things,
like folding laundry and making dinner. 

COOPER
( Teasing )
If I didn’t know better, I’d say someone’s aiming to be Mrs. Dr. Jeffrey Cooper.
I should’ve known bringing you to that wedding was going to be a mistake.

JAY-AL
All right, maybe I’m feeling a little domestic. 
I just want to experience life here on base with my boyfriend.
Is that so bad?

COOPER
If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do. 

COOPER and JAY-AL share an affectionate kiss.

COOPER
Careful what you wish for, though. 
Things here on base are usually either weird or boring… or somehow both.

JAY-AL
( Pulling COOPER into a passionate embrace )
I don’t think we’ll have to worry about being bored.

ROLL OPENING CREDITS

INT., SICKBAY, THE NEXT DAY

COOPER and MAAL are working at their desks when the Sickbay door chimes, and NGUYEN, TISHA and GREELEY enter, each pushing a biobed. 

NGUYEN
Hey, Coop, your new biobeds are here.

COOPER
Great. How long will they take to install?

GREELEY
We just have to disconnect the old ones and hook these into the main computer.  

NGUYEN
We’ll be out of your hair before lunch.

While NGUYEN and GREELEY begin the process of disconnecting the old beds, TISHA turns to MAAL.

TISHA
Maal, do you want to get lunch when we’re done here?

MAAL
Yeah, I’d like that.

TISHA
Dr. Cooper, would you like to join us? 

COOPER
Sure... You know, Jay-Al is here for the week. Mind if I invite him too?

TISHA
Not at all.

MAAL
Sure, go ahead.

COOPER
Great, I’ll just let him know that we’re –

As COOPER starts to tap his badge, the wall panel where NGUYEN is working sparks alarmingly, and the lights flicker and go out.

COOPER
Of course.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

HARPER is walking down the hall toward Sickbay when AGENT SMITH rounds the corner, carrying two coffees.

AGENT SMITH
Well, good morning, Lieutenant Commander.

HARPER
Agent Smith, Sir.

AGENT SMITH
You wouldn’t happen to be a coffee drinker, by chance?
The replicator spit out two this morning.

HARPER
I never turn down coffee, Sir.

AGENT SMITH
It’s black. I hope that’s all right.

HARPER
Like I said, I never turn down coffee, Sir.

AGENT SMITH hands her one of the cups of coffee, and they begin walking down the hall together.

AGENT SMITH
So where are we headed this morning?

HARPER
Well, I’m headed to Betazed Prime for a wedding rehearsal,
but first, I need to stop by Sickbay.

AGENT SMITH
Is everything all right?  

HARPER
Oh, yes, it’s just a headache. 

AGENT SMITH
I’m sure the doctor will get you fixed right up. 

HARPER nods cheerfully.

AGENT SMITH
So, a wedding rehearsal?

HARPER
Yes, Sir.

AGENT SMITH
The big day’s coming up. You must be very excited.

HARPER nods and smiles again, but this time, her smile is tense.

HARPER
Mm-hmm.

AGENT SMITH
Still no engagement ring, I see.
You’re cutting it awfully close, aren’t you?

HARPER
Oh, um… yes, Sir, I guess so.

AGENT SMITH
May I ask why?

HARPER
We’re having trouble finding a ring we both like.
I just want something simple, and, well… the Ferengi don’t really do “simple.”

AGENT SMITH
You know, you could always replicate one.

HARPER
I know, but Nack says, ‘When you can replicate anything,
then nothing is special. And an engagement ring should be special.’
And besides, he wants to be the one to provide it….
You know, he’d never admit it, but he’s actually very romantic.

AGENT SMITH
I’m sure you’ll find something.

AGENT SMITH and HARPER come to a stop outside of Sickbay.

HARPER
Well, we’re going to go look at rings again tomorrow, so I hope you’re right.

AGENT SMITH
Your fiancé is a lucky man. Good day, Lieutenant Commander.

AGENT SMITH continues down the hall, and HARPER enters Sickbay.

INT., SICKBAY,

The biobeds have all been pushed to the side, and an entire section of wall has been removed, exposing the scorched electronic components running beneath it.

HARPER enters to find TEVIK working on the burned-out conduits beneath the exposed wall, while COOPER and MAAL are working at their desks.

HARPER
Holy cow, what happened in here?

TEVIK
( Without turning around )
The doctor’s insistence on needlessly replacing perfectly functional equipment
has caused a cascade failure in Medical’s interface systems. 

COOPER
Well, I’d take issue with “needless,” “perfectly,” and “functional,”
but lucky for us, our Chief Engineer has graciously offered to fix the problem.

TEVIK
I have not offered to fix it. I am required to fix it.
There is a difference. 

COOPER
( With strained cheerfulness )
Harper, what brings you here?

HARPER
I’ve been getting these awful headaches, and nothing seems to help.

COOPER
Hop up on the table, and we’ll have a look.

HARPER sits on a nearby exam table and COOPER scans her with his medical tricorder and checks the readout.

COOPER
I’m not seeing anything unusual. Tell me about your symptoms.

HARPER
I don’t know, they just come out of nowhere. Like this morning,
I was getting ready to go meet with Nunc for the wedding rehearsal, and –

HARPER tenses and rubs her temples.

HARPER
Ow, there it is again! Coop, it really hurts.
Maybe you should do an in-depth imaging scan. 

COOPER
Is there a lot of pressure around your temples?

HARPER
Yes.

COOPER
And do these headaches show up whenever you’re planning your wedding?

HARPER
Uh huh.

COOPER
Then I don’t think we need to do any in-depth imaging scans.
Your headaches are due to stress. I can give you bicaridine for the pain,
but the only cure is avoiding the situation that is causing you stress.
Which, in this case, is getting married.

HARPER
Coop, please don’t start.

COOPER
I just think you should consider how –

TEVIK
( Sharply )
The Lieutenant Commander came to you for medical advice.
Not relationship advice.

COOPER’s smile grows even more strained as he prepares a hypospray and injects HARPER.

COOPER
You know, Harper, it’s against medical recommendations to travel
for twenty-four hours after you’ve received a bicaridine injection.

HARPER
It is? 

COOPER
I’m afraid you’ll have to postpone your wedding rehearsal.

HARPER breaks into a smile.

HARPER
Oh, Coop, I feel better already. 

HARPER hops off the table and hugs COOPER.

HARPER
You’re the best! 

HARPER exits Sickbay smiling, and the door slides shut behind her.

MAAL
Coop, there’s no travel restriction on bicaridine.

COOPER
No, but it cured her headache, didn’t it?

MAAL
Is that ethical?

TEVIK
No.

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS, THAT EVENING

COOPER is setting the table for a romantic dinner for two when JAY-AL enters from the next room, carrying a covered dish.

COOPER
What’s this?

JAY-AL
( Setting the dish on the table )
Mih-jhol. It’s a traditional Bajoran dish, and this is my grandmother’s recipe.
She used to make it all the time when we were growing up.

COOPER
I can’t wait.

They sit down at the table together.

JAY-AL
So, how was your day? 

COOPER
( Scooping some of the mih-jhol onto his plate )
Well, the new biobeds came in today, but they caused a systems failure,
so everything is offline until Engineering can fix it.

COOPER takes a bite of the mih-jhol. He starts to chew and then stops abruptly.

JAY-AL
What do you think?

COOPER chews several times and finally manages to swallow it.

COOPER
… It’s good!

JAY-AL
You don’t like it.

COOPER
No, no, it’s… it’s good!

JAY-AL
It’s okay. I guess I can see how it might be an acquired taste -   

COOPER
( Digging in as enthusiastically as he can muster )
No, it’s… there’s a subtle… uh, muskiness to the flavor…
that is, um, very… interesting.

JAY-AL
You really don’t have to –

 COOPER shovels a large bite in his mouth and attempts to smile with his mouth full.

COOPER
( Also with his mouth full)
It’s delicious. 

INT., HARPER’S QUARTERS, THE NEXT MORNING.

HARPER awakens and sits up in bed as NACK enters from the next room, carrying a cup of coffee. 

NACK
Well, good morning, Kitten.

HARPER smiles as NACK comes to sit next to her on the bed.

HARPER
Good morning to you, too.

NACK
( Handing the coffee to HARPER )
It’s about time you woke up. We’ve got to go find you a ring.

HARPER’s smile fades.

HARPER
You know, we don’t actually have to. It’s just a ring. It’s not important.

NACK
Nonsense, Honey. It’s your culture. Of course it’s important.

HARPER smiles again and they share a kiss.

NACK
And listen, this place we’re going to? I know this guy from way back.
If it exists, he’s got it, and if it doesn’t, he’ll get it.
You’re going to find something you like, Kitten, I promise.

HARPER sets the coffee on her nightstand next to an icon of the Blessed Exchequer. She gently tugs NACK’s collar, pulling him closer.

HARPER
What if I see something I like right here?

NACK
Well, you see now, what’d I tell you?

With a giggle, HARPER pulls NACK into bed with her.

INT., SICKBAY, A FEW HOURS LATER

TEVIK continues working on the exposed wiring as COOPER works at his desk 

The door chimes, and JAY-AL enters, carrying a covered dish. COOPER stands to greet JAY-AL.

COOPER
Hey, what brings you here?

JAY-AL
I wanted to see my hot doctor boyfriend at work. 

COOPER
( Gesturing around him )
Well… here I am, at work.

JAY-AL
( Setting the covered dish on COOPER’s desk )
And I thought we’d have lunch together.

COOPER
Oh, uh, sounds great!

JAY-AL
Don’t worry, I brought pizza.

COOPER almost succeeds at hiding his relief.

JAY-AL
Tevik, are you hungry? There’s plenty.

TEVIK
No. I am at work, therefore I am working.
Unlike certain personnel aboard this station.

JAY-AL looks quizzically at COOPER, who shrugs and shakes his head before grabbing a slice of pizza. 

JAY-AL
So, what should we do tonight?

COOPER
Actually, since Sickbay’s under repair, I'm taking the afternoon off.
I replicated some old Earth board games and we can pop some popcorn.
It doesn’t get much more domestic than that. 

JAY-AL
( Leaning in )
Sounds interesting. Are you the competitive type?

COOPER
I’ve been known to get a little heated from time to time.

JAY-AL
Then I’ll go easy on you.

COOPER
Well, now let’s not be hasty….

JAY-AL and COOPER lean in for a kiss that is interrupted by the loud clatter of TEVIK dropping his tools and abruptly walking out of Sickbay.

EXT., EST., A JEWELRY STORE ON FERENGINAR

Rain pours down on a large, high-end jewelry store with a flashing sign out front that reads “Yes, we buy gold teeth!”

INT., THE JEWELRY STORE

The store is a mixture of the extravagantly luxurious and the dubiously-sourced. Cases of jewelry line the walls as far as the eye can see.

The door chimes as NACK and HARPER come in from the driving rain. They are greeted by LURK, the owner and proprietor.

LURK
Nack, my old friend!

NACK
Lurk! How’s business?

LURK
Couldn’t be better. And you?

NACK
I can’t complain. 

LURK eyeballs HARPER lecherously.

LURK
And this is…?

NACK
Emma, this is Lurk, the friend I was telling you about.

HARPER
(To LURK)
Hi, I'm Emma.

LURK sidles up next to HARPER, continuing to ogle her.

LURK
Beautiful lady, the pleasure is all mine. Please, look around –
I’m sure you’ll find something here almost as pretty as you.

HARPER smiles politely and steps away from LURK. His gaze follows her as she approaches the nearby shelves to look at rings.

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS

JAY-AL is setting a bowl of popcorn on the table when COOPER enters, carrying a stack of board games. Putting the stack down, COOPER places one of the games on the table.

JAY-AL
So how does this work?

COOPER
( Setting up the game )
Well, this a classic from the twentieth century, and it’s called ‘Scrabble.’ 
The idea is to draw these lettered tiles and use them to make words.
The person with the highest score wins.

JAY-AL
Oh.

COOPER
Is there a problem?

JAY-AL
Yeah, I, uh, can’t actually read any of Earth’s alphabets.

COOPER
Oh.

JAY-AL
( With an apologetic shrug )
Universal translator problems.

COOPER
Of course. I’m so sorry.

JAY-AL
Don’t worry about it.

COOPER
I’m an idiot.

JAY-AL
It’s okay. Look, there’s got to be something here that we can play….

COOPER and JAY-AL begin sorting through the stack of board games.

INT., THE JEWELRY STORE ON FERENGINAR

As HARPER continues looking at the extensive array of rings on display, LURK comes up behind her, standing too close.

LURK
( With predatory unctuousness )
Lovely lady, allow me to offer my humble assistance.
Are you looking for anything in particular?

HARPER
Yes, actually. We’re looking for an engagement ring. 

LURK
( In polite disbelief )
… An engagement ring?

HARPER
Mm-hmm. We’re getting married. 

LURK glances over at NACK, who nods. 

LURK
( To HARPER )
Well, now… aren’t you a lucky girl?

HARPER
( Brightly )
I sure am.

HARPER smiles and returns to looking at jewelry under LURK’s gaze, which has shifted from lecherous to intently reassessing.

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS

COOPER and JAY-AL sit across from each other, playing a card game. They each study the cards in their hands intently.

JAY-AL glances up from his hand at COOPER, and then back down at his cards, before he finally breaks the silence.

JAY-AL
Do you have any threes?

COOPER
Go fish.

INT., THE JEWELRY STORE.

HARPER notices a shelf near the back of the store and wanders over to it.

LURK
( Calling over to HARPER )
Oh, we buy jewelry too. Anything on that shelf can be melted down
and made into something better. 

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS 

JAY-AL
( Discarding a pair of cards from his hand )
So what’s going on with Tevik? He seems unusually…

COOPER
Cranky? Tell me about it. Do you have any sevens?

JAY-AL pushes a card from his hand toward COOPER.

JAY-AL
Is everything all right?

COOPER shrugs.

COOPER
As far as I know.

JAY-AL
Well, have you given him an exam?
Sudden changes in personality can sometimes indicate a medical issue.

COOPER
I don’t know if a Vulcan being blunt and condescending
counts as a “sudden change in personality.” 
And he hasn’t come into Sickbay for treatment,
so until he does… well, he’s allowed to be a jerk. 

JAY-AL
Have you tried talking to him about it?

COOPER discards a card from his hand.

COOPER
Tevik’s not really much of a talker. 

JAY-AL
All the more reason to have the conversation.
Being able to articulate your feelings is crucial to resolving them. 

INT., THE JEWELRY STORE

As HARPER continues looking at the wares on the shelf in the back of the store, LURK pulls NACK to one side.

LURK
Nack, a word of advice -

LURK nods his head in HARPER’s direction.

LURK
Rule of Acquisition Number 137:
Never buy at a premium what you can lease on the cheap.

NACK looks quickly over at HARPER, but she gives no indication of having overheard. 

NACK
( To LURK, sharply )
Nobody asked for your advice!

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS

COOPER looks up from his cards.

COOPER
Tevik is a Vulcan. I don’t think he wants help exploring his emotions.
You’d probably have more success doing group therapy with the Borg.

JAY-AL
Vulcans have emotions too, you know.
You just need to be supportive, non-judgmental, and persistent.

COOPER
Yeah, I think in this case, persistence is futile.

JAY-AL looks puzzled.

INT., THE JEWELRY STORE.

NACK approaches HARPER.

NACK
Honey, let’s go.

Suddenly, HARPER’s eyes light up.

HARPER
Nack, I found it.

NACK
What?

HARPER
I found it! I found the ring I want.

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS

COOPER
…. It’s a joke… You know, the Borg ?...  
Resistance is futile? 

JAY-AL
Cooper, mental health is no laughing matter. 

COOPER sighs.

INT., THE JEWELRY STORE

HARPER points at a modest, heart-shaped diamond solitaire in the back corner of the shelf.

HARPER
That one.

LURK removes the ring from the case and hands it to HARPER, who puts it on and holds her hand up to admire it.

HARPER
It’s perfect.

LURK
Well, Nack, the lady’s taste certainly is… affordable .

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS

COOPER
It was just a joke.

JAY-AL
Well, perhaps this is something you should take seriously.

INT., THE JEWELRY STORE

HARPER
( Admiring the ring on her finger )
It’s so pretty.

NACK
Honey, you can have any ring in the store –

HARPER
This one. 

LURK
You know, Nack, if you’re on a budget, you should have just said so. 

NACK glares at LURK before turning his attention to HARPER.

NACK
Honey, we’ll find a better ring. One that we both like.

HARPER
But I like this one.

NACK
( Matter-of-factly )
Well, I don’t.

HARPER
Baby, I don’t understand.
What happened to “If it’s not business, it’s not important”?

NACK
Princess, this is business. 

HARPER
What?! How ? It’s an engagement ring!

NACK
Because, Angel, you’re going to be my wife. This isn't like your other jewelry.
Everyone is going to know that I gave that to you.

HARPER
So?

NACK
( Losing his patience )
So, people are going to think that I’m broke!

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS

COOPER
You’re reading too much into it.
I just have a sarcastic sense of humor.

JAY-AL
Yes, but using humor to deflect the conversation away from serious topics
can be a defense mechanism. You should really give some thought
to what you might be avoiding, and why.

COOPER raises his cards in front of his face to conceal the fact that he is rolling his eyes.

INT., THE JEWELRY STORE

LURK leans on the counter, making no effort to conceal the fact that he finds NACK and HARPER’s argument highly entertaining.

LURK
You know, Nack, we can always take payment in installments.

NACK
Honey, nobody wants to do business with someone who’s broke,
and when people see that ring, they’re going to think that’s all I can afford.  

HARPER
I don’t care what people think.

NACK
Well, I do! I have worked too damn hard to get to where I am,
and I’m not going to have people laughing at me.

HARPER
I don’t care if people laugh. Obviously, I don’t care!

NACK
And just what is that supposed to mean?

HARPER
It means that ever since we’ve gotten engaged, I have been the subject of ridicule
and snide remarks from jerks like him - ( Indicating LURK )

LURK
Hey!

HARPER
And your cousin, Nunc –

NACK
What are you talking about? Nunc adores you.

HARPER
Nack, I was an Enterprise comms officer.
Yop te dai Ferengi.
[SUBTITLES: I can speak Ferengi.]

NACK is silent as he tries to recall what HARPER may have overheard.

HARPER
So I know what it’s like to have people laugh at me.
They’re already laughing at me, so what difference does it make?
This is the ring I want.

NACK
Angel, you can’t wear that.

HARPER
Nack, I have never asked you for anything.
I am asking you for this now.
Please.

NACK
I’m sorry, Princess, but it’s out of the question.  

HARPER stares at NACK, speechless. After a long moment, her comm badge crackles to life, breaking the silence.

CH’THANE
( Over HARPER’s comm badge )
Lieutenant Commander, report to my office when you get back.

Without breaking eye contact with NACK, HARPER taps her comm badge.

HARPER
I’ll be right there, Sir. We were just leaving.

HARPER taps her comm badge closed, removes the ring, sets it on the counter, turns on her heel, and exits the store.

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS

COOPER rests his head in his hands.

COOPER
It was a joke .

JAY-AL
See, this is exactly what I’m talking about, Coop.
You use humor to avoid having a serious conversation.

COOPER
Because not everything has to be a serious conversation!

At that moment, COOPER’s comm badge sounds.

RAMIREZ
( Over COOPER’s comm badge )
Security to Dr. Cooper, I'm on a wellness check, and... honestly,
I don't know what we're dealing with, but having Medical on-scene seems like a good idea.

COOPER taps his comm badge. 

COOPER
Roger that, Security. I’m en route. 

COOPER grabs his doctor’s bag and exits his quarters.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

ENSIGN RAMIREZ is standing outside TEVIK’s quarters when COOPER approaches.

COOPER
What’s going on?

RAMIREZ
Engineering radioed Tevik to come help with some repairs,
but he didn’t respond. So they called Security for a wellness check.

COOPER
How is he? 

RAMIREZ
I don't know. I really think you need to see for yourself.

COOPER nods and prepares to enter TEVIK’s quarters.

RAMIREZ
Do you want me to go in with you or wait here?

COOPER
( Pleasant but firm )
I want you to go back to Security. I'm going in there to perform a medical evaluation,
and I want you to give Tevik the same privacy that you would want
if you came to see me in Sickbay with a personal health issue. Understood?

RAMIREZ
Yes, Sir.

RAMIREZ exits down the hall, and COOPER approaches the door to TEVIK’s quarters. It slides open with a chime, and COOPER enters.

TO BE CONTINUED….

Chapter 7: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 7 The Dam Breaks, Part 2: The Flood

Summary:

Highly agitated Vulcan? Sometimes the answer is right there in plain sight....

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 7 The Dam Breaks, Part 2: The Flood

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

CH’THANE is sitting behind his desk, and HARPER and NACK are seated in front of him. The tension between the couple is palpable.

CH’THANE
Lieutenant Commander, Starfleet has processed your application
to marry a non-Federation citizen. 

HARPER
And?

CH’THANE
It’s been denied.

INT., TEVIK’S QUARTERS.

Aside from a solitary meditation candle burning in the center of the room, TEVIK’s quarters are completely dark. Furniture is upended, and the place looks as though it has been ransacked.

COOPER steps carefully through the chaos as his eyes adjust to the darkness. As he searches for TEVIK, COOPER notices a sudden movement from the corner of his eye.

Following it, COOPER spots TEVIK crouched in a far corner. There is something inexplicably feral about his appearance.

COOPER
Tevik, it’s Dr. Cooper. Can I come in?

There is a long moment of silence.

TEVIK
Your question is… illogical.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

Bewildered, HARPER and NACK look at each other, and then at CH’THANE.

HARPER
Denied? Why ?!

NACK
Can they do that?

CH’THANE
It seems that Starfleet thinks your marriage presents a conflict of interest.

HARPER
How, exactly?!

CH’THANE
Because Nack is a supplier to the base, and due to the volume of business he does here -
no small part of which is specialized orders that come directly from you -
Starfleet is concerned about the appearance that you’re benefiting financially from the arrangement.

HARPER
That’s ridiculous!

CH’THANE nods.

CH’THANE
Half of Starfleet is out there violating their own prime directive every week or so -
you'd think they'd loosen up a little. 

NACK
There’s got to be something we can do to work this out.
They can’t just say “no.”

CH’THANE
I said the same thing. So I called in some favors, and I couldn't get the denial reversed,
but I did manage to get Starfleet to offer a compromise. Of sorts.

HARPER
How do you “compromise” on getting married?

CH’THANE
Lieutenant Commander, like most people stationed here, you’re considered a temporal security risk.
However, in light of your service to the Federation in preserving the Klingon alliance, Starfleet is willing
to grant you a discharge, provided that you minimize contamination of the timeline by settling permanently
on Ferenginar, never disclose anything about yourself to anyone outside of what’s strictly necessary,
and avoid all contact with any Federation citizens.

NACK
Well, of course we’ll settle on Ferenginar.

(Simultaneously)

HARPER
Absolutely not. 

HARPER and NACK stare at each other as silence settles in.

INT., TEVIK’S QUARTERS

TEVIK stands and steps forward from the shadows. There is a low, bestial quality to his voice, his gaze is unblinking, and his pupils are so dilated that his eyes are completely black.

COOPER
I just want to come in and -

TEVIK
You are already in my quarters, Doctor.
Asking if you can “come in” is illogical.

COOPER
(Projecting authoritative calm)
Tevik, you didn’t respond to a call from Engineering,
so I came to check on you and make sure everything is okay.

COOPER starts to approach TEVIK, who retreats back into the shadows.

TEVIK
Stay back.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

HARPER stands and wrings her hands anxiously.

HARPER
Nack, I wasn’t joking when I said that I could never be a good Ferengi housewife.

CH’THANE clears his throat.

NACK
Angel, is that what you’re worried about? 

NACK approaches HARPER reassuringly.

NACK
Princess, I make plenty of money. We’ll hire help.
You’ll never have to lift a finger.

HARPER
No, Nack, I don’t want help .
I want to keep my job as station Chief of Security. I love my job!

NACK
I know you love your job, but Honey, let’s talk about this.
You want kids. 

CH’THANE
(Shuffling papers on his desk)
Well, you two probably want to go discuss this somewhere in private.

HARPER
Yes, and your job means that you’re gone for days at a time. Sometimes weeks.
You are not leaving me to raise our children on my own on a planet
where the only people I know hate me!

NACK
Nobody hates you.

HARPER
Your mother complimented me on being housebroken!

CH’THANE stands abruptly.

CH’THANE
On second thought, why don’t the two of you use my office to sort this out?

CH’THANE quickly exits his office, which goes unnoticed by NACK and HARPER, who are glaring at each other. 

NACK
(To HARPER)
You leave Moogie out of this.

HARPER’s nostrils flare, and she crosses her arms.

INT., TEVIK’S QUARTERS

TEVIK continues to watch COOPER from the shadows. His posture is coiled, and he appears to be on edge.

COOPER
Okay. I won't come near you. I'll stay right here.
I’m just going to set down my field kit, all right?

After a tense moment, TEVIK nods, and COOPER slowly sets it down, and then holds his hands up in a non-threatening manner.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

HARPER
Nack, I have compromised on every single thing about our wedding.
I’m not going to compromise on the rest of my life!

NACK
What are you talking about?! This whole wedding is your culture!

HARPER
No, it isn’t. I wanted a modest wedding with our friends here on base in Cargo Bay Three.
But Nunc offered us a venue, and I went along with it because he’s your cousin.
And ever since then, this wedding has spiraled into a nightmare of performative affluence!

NACK
There’s nothing wrong with performative affluence!
And why am I just now hearing about this?! You said everything was fine!

HARPER
Nack, women don't dream about their weddings being “fine”!

INT., TEVIK’S QUARTERS

COOPER stands perfectly still as TEVIK watches him with a wary eye.

COOPER
I’d like to scan you with my tricorder, just to see what’s going on.

TEVIK
That is… unnecessary.
I am not in need of medical intervention.

COOPER
Maybe so, but I still need to scan you to be sure. And if you’re right,
then we need to figure out whether we're dealing with possession by telepathic aliens,
symbiotes, displaced consciousness, ghosts, strange energies, demonic children, or pah wraiths.

TEVIK
… As I said, that is unnecessary.
I am not in need of medical intervention.

COOPER sighs.

COOPER
(To himself )
Everyone’s a doctor.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

NACK rubs the bridge of his nose.

NACK
Okay, fine. You hate the wedding?
We’ll go to Gretna III and get married right now, just the two of us.

HARPER
That’s not the point! My job is here, everybody I know is here,
my whole life is here on this station. 

NACK
Emma, we’re getting married - your life is with me.
And I can give you a better life on Ferenginar than you’ve ever known –
better than you’ll ever have here. Honey, you have no idea. Let me provide for you -

HARPER
You don’t understand. The people here on base – my friends -
are the closest thing to family that I have.

NACK
I know it seems that way now, but once we’re married -

HARPER
Nack, I already lost everyone I care about once!
I’m not going through that again. 

INT., TEVIK'S QUARTERS

COOPER stands still, and keeps his voice calm and steady.

COOPER
All right, talk to me about your symptoms. How are you feeling?

TEVIK shifts position cagily.

TEVIK
That would be… difficult.

COOPER
Okay, um… when did you first notice that things were, uh…
let’s say, a little “off?”

But TEVIK merely watches from the shadows, giving no response.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

NACK
So what are you saying?

HARPER
I’m saying that I’m not abandoning my life on base to go live on Ferenginar
with no job and no friends, where everyone looks down on me!

NACK
(In pain and disbelief)
… You’re choosing Starfleet over me ?

INT., TEVIK’S QUARTERS

Faced with silence, COOPER tries again.

COOPER
Look, uh, whatever this is, whatever’s going on, you’re not alone.
I'm here, and we're going to figure this out together. So talk to me, okay?…
What can you tell me?

TEVIK steps forward, and he appears to focus on COOPER intently, as though taking in some sort of sensory information.

TEVIK
… Your heart rate has increased from its baseline by seventeen percent since you entered my quarters.
Your blood pressure, perspiration and respiratory rates are all elevated. Your testosterone levels are likewise elevated,
and your adrenal glands are producing heightened levels of cortisol and adrenaline. You are also experiencing
increased vasocongestion, resulting in a flush across the face and chest... among other things.

It is now COOPER’s turn to be silent.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

HARPER
I’m not choosing Starfleet over you!

NACK
Yes, you are! 

NACK walks a few feet away, rubbing his temples.

NACK
Unbelievable…. 

He turns back to HARPER. 

NACK
(Highly emotional)
After everything I have done - everything I been through for you, you should be –

NACK catches himself and stops short. 

HARPER
… I should be what , Nack? 

INT., TEVIK'S QUARTERS

COOPER licks his lips, which have gone dry.

COOPER
Alright, well… now that we know what’s going on with me,
I’d like to take a scan, so that I know what’s going on with you.
Does that seem fair?

TEVIK does not respond.

COOPER
... So I’m just going to get my tricorder, and I’m going to take a quick scan, okay?

But TEVIK continues to say nothing, his gaze fixated on COOPER.

Faced with silence, COOPER slowly removes his medical tricorder from the bag at his feet, keeping his eyes on TEVIK as he does so.

With his tricorder in hand, COOPER scans TEVIK and checks the readout. He looks up.

COOPER
… How long have you been in pon farr?

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

NACK
Nothing, forget it.

HARPER
I should be what, Nack?...  Say it!

NACK is silent.

HARPER
I should be grateful? Is that what you were going to say?

NACK
I didn’t say that.

HARPER
But that’s what you were going to say, isn’t it? 
That’s what you thought

INT., TEVIK’S QUARTERS

TEVIK shifts position again, and there is a growing agitation to his demeanor.

TEVIK
That is not your concern.

COOPER
It’s okay. This is a perfectly natural part of Vulcan reproduction,
and there are a number of therapeutic interventions that can help.

There is a long moment of silence.

TEVIK
You should leave.

COOPER
Tevik, I’m your physician. We have to talk about how we’re going to treat your pon farr,
because you can’t go on indefinitely in this state.

TEVIK creeps forward, his eyes fixed on COOPER

TEVIK
… I said, you should leave.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

HARPER
(Tearing up angrily)
Nack, ever since we have been engaged, people have laughed at me and looked down on me
like I’m some fresh-off-the-shuttle rube who hit the jackpot. And I have held my head high
and smiled through all of it, because those people didn’t matter. You were what mattered to me!

NACK
Emma –

HARPER
It never occurred to me that all this time, you agreed with them.

INT., TEVIK’S QUARTERS

COOPER
I understand that you want me to leave.
And I will, as soon as we’ve agreed on a treatment plan.
Now, I can give you a mild sedative to calm your nerves, and then -

TEVIK's breath grows shallow and ragged.

TEVIK
You misunderstand me, Doctor.…
I do not know how much longer I can control myself….
You should leave. Now.

COOPER’s pupils dilate, and his pulse pounds in his ears.

He glances toward the door and for a moment, COOPER hesitates. Then his eyes meet TEVIK’s, and he drops his tricorder.

COOPER
…. I’m not going anywhere.

COOPER takes a step toward TEVIK, and in one lightning-fast movement, TEVIK pounces.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

NACK approaches HARPER.

NACK
Emma, I would never -  

She draws away from him, shaking her head.

HARPER
No. We're done!... But just so you know, Nack,
I’m not choosing Starfleet. I’m choosing me .

HARPER exits the office in tears, leaving NACK alone.

INT., THE STATION HALLWAY, HOURS LATER.

COOPER emerges from TEVIK’s quarters. He is disheveled, and his uniform is torn and in disarray. 

He takes a few steps down the corridor before stopping and leaning against the wall. A flood of emotions cross his face, from exhilaration to confusion, elation and regret.  

He looks back at TEVIK’s quarters, and then down at the doctor’s bag in his hand. His shoulders drop, and he covers his face in shame.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

CH’THANE is working at his desk, when the door chimes and AGENT SMITH enters.

AGENT SMITH
I just got a notification that the station Chief of Security is taking a leave of absence for a few days.
Is everything all right?

CH’THANE
The engagement’s off.

This appears to take AGENT SMITH by surprise, and he takes a seat across from CH’THANE.

AGENT SMITH
What happened?

CH’THANE
Starfleet denied her nuptial application and gave her the option to resign –

AGENT SMITH
And she chose Starfleet?

CH’THANE
Well, it sounded like there were some issues they hadn’t addressed,
but in a nutshell….

AGENT SMITH leans back as he contemplates this.

AGENT SMITH
Well, she wasn't kidding when she said she was Starfleet through and through.

CH’THANE
You know, Smith, I didn’t think my opinion of Starfleet could get much lower,
but to station a young woman on a remote outpost for the rest of her life,
and then deny her request to marry one of the few people who actually
comes out here on a regular basis? It’s just cruel…. And I don’t know if
I buy this “conflict of interest” malarkey.

AGENT SMITH
What do you mean?

CH’THANE
The Lieutenant Commander has made a few enemies in Starfleet Command.
For that matter, so have I. I wouldn’t put it past any one of them
to deny her nuptial application out of sheer spite.

CH’THANE scowls.

CH’THANE
When I find out who’s behind this….

AGENT SMITH
That part ought to be easy enough.

CH’THANE shakes his head.

CH’THANE
The usual channels are coming up empty.

AGENT SMITH
Well, if I can do anything to help, let me know.

CH’THANE nods, and AGENT SMITH steeples his fingers as he considers this turn of events.

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS.

JAY-AL is waiting when the door chimes and COOPER enters.

JAY-AL
Hey.

COOPER
Hey.

JAY-AL stands and approaches COOPER. 

JAY-AL
You were gone a while. Is everything okay?

COOPER
Uh… No. Not really. 

JAY-AL
Do you want to talk about it?

COOPER turns away and runs his hands through his hair.

COOPER
….  I’ve, uh, I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of.
I violated my medical oath, I took advantage of a vulnerable patient, and –

COOPER takes a deep breath, and turns back to JAY-AL.

COOPER
And I cheated on you.

JAY-AL
What? 

COOPER
I – I can’t… 

JAY-AL
Cooper, what happened?

COOPER
That request for medical assistance was, uh…
well, it turned out to be a patient in pon farr.

JAY-AL
Oh.

COOPER
Yeah.

They are both silent for a few moments.

JAY-AL
… How are you feeling?

COOPER
What do you mean, how am I feeling?! Terrible, obviously!
I never should have put myself in a position where I could hurt someone,
especially someone I care about…. 

COOPER paces in agitation before turning back to JAY-AL.

COOPER
Look, I don’t expect you to forgive me,
but I do want you to know how deeply sorry I am.

JAY-AL
… Well, let’s talk about this. I’m feeling a lot of emotions right now,
and it sounds like you are too -

COOPER
Will you stop? Will you just stop?!
Stop being so empathetic - I just cheated on you! 

JAY-AL approaches COOPER carefully.

JAY-AL
Cooper, we’ve never really talked about whether we’re exclusive.

COOPER
… What are you talking about? You’re my boyfriend.

JAY-AL
Your long-distance boyfriend… We've never discussed being monogamous,
so I assumed that we were both, well… having casual dalliances on the side.

COOPER
... But we did the whole "I love you," thing.

JAY-AL
You're right. We should have talked about it then.
That was thoughtless of me, and if you want us to be exclusive,
then I'm fine with that. More than fine - I love you, Coop.

COOPER is silent.

JAY-AL
Look, I can’t speak to what happened with Tevik –

COOPER
I never said –

JAY-AL
Oh, come on, Cooper, you didn’t have to. It was obvious. 

COOPER turns away and rubs his temples.

JAY-AL
Listen, it doesn’t sound like anyone was hurt tonight.
You and I should have been more clear in our communication,
but you didn’t cheat on me. And I’m not sure it’s even possible
to “take advantage” of a Vulcan in pon farr. 

JAY-AL takes a step toward COOPER and puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

JAY-AL
Cooper, the only person you need forgiveness from is you .

COOPER is quiet for a long moment before he speaks.

COOPER
… I’m sorry, we have to break up. This isn’t working for me.

INT., HARPER’S QUARTERS, A LITTLE WHILE LATER

A sweatpants-clad HARPER is quietly weeping on her couch when the door chimes.

HARPER
Just a minute.

HARPER wipes her eyes and composes herself. She answers the door to find AGENT SMITH standing there. 

HARPER
Agent Smith, Sir. I didn’t expect -

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander, I just heard about your engagement,
and I wanted to say how sorry I am.

HARPER
(Sniffling)
That’s very kind of you, Sir, but you don’t have to worry.
I won’t let this affect my work.

AGENT SMITH
I’m not concerned about that. I wanted to let you know
that if there’s ever anything you need – anything at all -
you can come to me. 

HARPER
Thank you, Sir, I really appreciate that.

At that moment, they are interrupted by COOPER entering from the next room, carrying a carton of ice cream and two spoons. 

COOPER
Well, we may be doomed to die alone, but at least we’ve got rocky road –

COOPER stops short when he sees AGENT SMITH.

AGENT SMITH
Doctor, how are you this evening?

COOPER
(Warily)
…. Harper, is everything okay?

HARPER
Yes, Agent Smith just stopped by to offer his sympathy
and see if I needed anything.

COOPER locks eyes with AGENT SMITH, in as much as anyone can lock eyes with someone who never removes his mirrored aviators.

COOPER
(Stone-faced)
How thoughtful.

AGENT SMITH
Well, Lieutenant Commander, I see you’ve got company,
so I’ll leave you to it. 

HARPER
It’s very kind of you to stop by, Sir.

AGENT SMITH nods, and appears to hold HARPER’s gaze for a moment, before looking over at COOPER.

AGENT SMITH
Good evening, Doctor.

COOPER tilts his chin in acknowledgment, while staring down his reflection in AGENT SMITH’s sunglasses.

With that, AGENT SMITH departs, and the door slides shut behind him.

COOPER
Harper, does that guy come by a lot?

HARPER retakes her seat on the couch.

HARPER
No. I’m sure he found out from the Commander
and just wanted to check in on me.

COOPER
(Not at all reassured)
I’m sure he did.

HARPER
Come on, Silly, the ice cream’s melting. 

COOPER joins HARPER on the couch.  They open the carton and dig in.

HARPER
So, what’s going to happen with you and Tevik?

COOPER
Nothing’s going to happen.

HARPER
You’re kidding, right? You said it was the hottest -

COOPER
Harper, I’m not going to make a habit of cheating on my boyfriend.

HARPER
Your ex-boyfriend. And it sounds like you guys were in an open relationship.

COOPER
Yes, but I didn’t know that! I know how bad be cheated on hurts.
I’m the last person who should -

He sighs, and his shoulders slump.

COOPER
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

HARPER
Coop -

COOPER
Anyway, leaving all of that aside, Tevik is still my patient, I violated his trust.
And my Hippocratic oath.

HARPER
I don’t know, Coop, from what you’ve said,
it doesn’t sound like it’s Tevik’s trust that was violated.

COOPER
Jokes, Harper? Really ?

HARPER
I’m just saying, I think you’re being too hard on yourself.
You should talk to Tevik about what happened between you two.
He might not see it the same way.

COOPER
It doesn’t matter how he sees it, Harper, I’m a medical professional.
I shouldn’t even be talking about this with you.

HARPER
Coop, I’m Chief of Security. I’d have figured it all out from the daily logs anyway.
Besides, nothing you say leaves this room.

COOPER
Well, it never should have happened at all, and it certainly won’t happen again.

COOPER takes a bite of ice cream.

COOPER
How are you feeling?

HARPER shrugs.

HARPER
Empty… Heartbroken… Numb…. And if I'm being perfectly honest...
a little relieved that I don’t have to go through with that spectacle of a wedding. 

COOPER
Harper, that wasn’t a “spectacle,” that was the culmination of the
capitalist wedding-industrial complex in all of its existential horror.

HARPER puts her spoon down. 

HARPER
I really thought he loved me, Coop….

HARPER starts to cry.

COOPER
Hey. Hey, it’s okay.... And look, at least you found out before
you had to go toe to toe with a Ferengi divorce lawyer.  

HARPER smiles a little at this and wipes her eyes. She leans on COOPER's shoulder, and he wraps an arm around her. 

HARPER
I’m glad we’re friends, Coop. 

INT., STATION HALLWAY, A LITTLE LATER

COOPER approaches the doorway to his quarters, and it chimes and slides open. As he is about to enter, TEVIK steps forward from around the corner. 

TEVIK
(Tentatively)
Doctor, I –

COOPER looks down, takes a deep breath and then looks up at TEVIK.

COOPER
… I’m sorry, Tevik. It won’t happen again.

COOPER retreats into his quarters, and the door slides shut behind him. 

TEVIK stands alone in the hallway for a long moment, before he turns and exits down the hall.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE,

CH’THANE is sitting behind his desk, and TEVIK is seated before him.

CH’THANE
You realize that your request is… unprecedented.

TEVIK nods.

TEVIK
I do not make it lightly.

CH’THANE
…. Assuming it’s even possible, where would you go?

TEVIK
There is an order of Vulcan monastics in a remote mountain village on Regulus.
I have made contact with them, and they have agreed to allow me to join.
With your approval.

CH’THANE is silent.

TEVIK
Commander, I would not ask if there were any alternative,
but remaining on this station has become… untenable.

CH’THANE
You realize, of course, that the temporal security regulations –

TEVIK
Would it help if I told you that the Order of So'Kahn
maintains a vow of silence?

CH’THANE raises an eyebrow.

TEVIK
So'Kahn monks do not speak unless absolutely necessary,
and novice initiates do not speak at all for five years. 

CH’THANE leans back as he considers this.

CH’THANE
Regulus is of considerable strategic importance to the Federation….
I suppose I could send you on an extended undercover fact-gathering mission.

TEVIK
Thank you, Commander.

CH’THANE
(With a hint of humor)
Now, if that monastery turns out to be a covert intelligence-gathering facility,
I expect you to break that vow of silence and report back here on the double.

TEVIK
You have my word.

CH’THANE
In that case, your request is approved.

TEVIK
Thank you, Commander.

TEVIK stands to leave.

CH’THANE
If you hurry, you may still be able to catch Nack.
He might be the only person in a bigger hurry to get off this station than you.

INT., NACK’S SHIP.

NACK sits waiting at the helm of his ship as it idles in dock. 

The airlock opens, and TEVIK boards the ship, wearing civilian clothes and carrying a rucksack. He takes the seat beside NACK, and NACK turns and appraises him.

NACK
Tevik, for a guy that doesn’t believe in facial expressions,
you look absolutely miserable.

TEVIK is silent for a moment.

TEVIK
I have broken something of great importance.

This appears to resonate unexpectedly with NACK, who turns back to the console.

NACK
… Yeah, me too.

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS.

 

Chapter 8: STAR TREK: Star Base 80  Season 4, Episode 8 The Chief Engineer

Summary:

The Chief Engineer is on a post-pon farr sabbatical, and everyone is coming to grips what it means... some with more grace than others.

Notes:

*Justice for Harry Kim.

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80  Season 4, Episode 8 The Chief Engineer 


INT., A LIVING ROOM IN SAN DIEGO, CA, 2246

As a WOMAN feeds twin infants in high chairs a short distance away, six-year-old TISHA sits on the floor, surrounded by a toy set of tools. She holds a toy model of a Constitution-class ship, pretending to fly it through the air and making spaceship noises.

The front door opens, and still holding her toy star ship, she runs to greet her FATHER, a handsome man in his late thirties wearing a red Starfleet command uniform.

TISHA
Daddy!

He smiles and scoops her up.

TISHA'S FATHER
Tisha! How’s my girl? Did you have a good day?

TISHA
Uh-huh.

TISHA'S FATHER
(Noticing her toy)
You're playing starships again, I see.

TISHA
Yes.

TISHA'S FATHER
Oh, are you the captain this time?

TISHA
(Proudly)
No. I'm the Chief Engineer!

ROLL OPENING CREDITS

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS, EARLY MORNING, PRESENT DAY

COOPER stares at himself in the mirror as he shaves. His mind wanders to the events of the previous night.

INT., FLASHBACK, TEVIK’S QUARTERS

With his tricorder in hand, COOPER scans TEVIK and checks the readout. He looks up.

COOPER
… How long have you been in pon farr?

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS, THE PRESENT

COOPER continues staring in the mirror as he shaves.

INT., FLASHBACK, TEVIK’S QUARTERS

TEVIK stares at COOPER from the shadows as he shifts position cagily.

TEVIK
… You should leave.

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS, THE PRESENT

COOPER watches his reflection carefully as he shaves his neck.

INT., FLASHBACK, TEVIK’S QUARTERS

COOPER glances toward the door, and for a moment, he hesitates. Then his eyes meet TEVIK’s, and he drops his tricorder.

COOPER
…. I’m not going anywhere.

TEVIK springs forth from the shadows at COOPER, bearing down on him like a force of nature.

COOPER gasps.

INT., COOPER’S QUARTERS, THE PRESENT

COOPER winces. Looking in the mirror, he sees that he has cut himself shaving. 

EXT., A MOUNTAIN PASS ON REGULUS

Carrying his rucksack, TEVIK climbs a steep and rocky path up the face of a mountain. Buffeted by the fierce winds, he stops and looks up at the Vulcan monastery in the distance. As he stares up at the monastery, it begins to snow.

Taking a deep breath, TEVIK adjusts his rucksack and continues his ascent.

INT., THE HALLWAY OUTSIDE SICKBAY, A SHORT LATER

As COOPER approaches the door, he stops and exhales anxiously. He takes a deep breath and braces himself before entering Sickbay. 

INT., SICKBAY

COOPER enters Sickbay to find NGUYEN working on the exposed wiring in the wall. He stops short. 

COOPER
(Surprised)
Nguyen – ?

NGUYEN
Hey, Coop. Should have your biobeds up and running by this afternoon.

COOPER
… But, I thought Tevik was…?

NGUYEN
Oh, he’s on an extended off-base assignment. Johnson and I have a meeting
with the Commander later about appointing an interim Chief Engineer.

NGUYEN turns back to his work, leaving a stunned COOPER to process this turn of events.

INT., ENGINEERING

As TISHA enters Engineering, she sees a group of ENGINEERS huddled up in a corner in a hushed discussion.

ENGINEER 1
... I'm telling you, it's going to be Steve - 

One of the ENGINEERS looks over and sees TISHA standing in the doorway.

ENGINEER 2
Guys - 

The group falls silent.

TISHA manages a tight-lipped smile and heads to her workstation, and the group disperses.

INT., SECURITY, 

HARPER sits behind her desk, and COOPER stands in front of her.

COOPER
What kind of off-base assignment?

HARPER shrugs.

HARPER
I don’t know, Coop. The Commander didn’t tell me. He just said that
Tevik came to him and requested an extended off-station assignment, and –

COOPER covers his face with his hands.

COOPER
This is all my fault.

INT., ENGINEERING

TISHA is working at her station when GREELEY approaches.

GREELEY
So you and Nguyen are meeting with the big man later?

TISHA
(Still working)
Mm-hmm.

GREELEY
Why do you think he wants to see both of you?

TISHA shrugs.

GREELEY
Do you think he’s going to make you Chief Engineer?

TISHA stops working.

TISHA
No, Greeley, I don’t. Nguyen has more experience, more seniority,
and he outranks me. If anyone is going to be the interim Chief Engineer,
it’s going to be Nguyen, okay? 

TISHA resumes her work.

GREELEY
So then why do you think he wants to see both of you?

TISHA turns to GREELEY.

TISHA
Aren’t you supposed to be realigning the Tucker tubes right now?

GREELEY shrugs and wanders off, and TISHA returns to her work, but her expression is troubled.

EXT., THE VULCAN MONASTERY ON REGULUS

The Vulcan monastery is fortress-like, and its high walls contain life-sized stone statues of Kolinahr masters carved into the facade. The building is surrounded by high stone walls and a forbidding iron gate. In front of the gate stands a large gong and a mallet hanging from a chain.

The snow is now falling thickly, whirling in the mountain winds.

TEVIK approaches the gate and looks up at the monastery.

Taking a deep breath, he seizes the mallet and strikes the gong. It reverberates with a deep, low tone. 

INT., SECURITY

HARPER
Cooper, no one’s “at fault” here. Neither you or Tevik did anything you didn’t want to do.

COOPER 
Well, the fact that Tevik left base immediately afterward would suggest otherwise.
And regardless of what he wanted, I’m a Starfleet medical officer, and
Starfleet medical officers don’t do things like hook up with their patients
or have weird, sexually-charged interactions with their fellow officers
or interfere with Klingon religious practices or hide their children
in the pattern buffer or question an android’s humanity
right in front of his face! We have ethics, Harper! 

INT., ENGINEERING

TISHA is at work at her station, attempting to focus, despite being acutely aware of whispered conversations taking place in the background.

As she works, two ENGINEERS pass her station without acknowledging her. She blinks, and tries to refocus her efforts. 
She looks up from her work again and sees a different pair of ENGINEERS at a nearby station in a hushed discussion while glancing at her.

TISHA stops working, looks down at her station, and then abruptly turns and exits Engineering.

EXT., THE VULCAN MONASTERY ON REGULUS

The gate swings open with a rusty groan, and a VULCAN MONK in saffron robes stands in the court yard. He nods at TEVIK, who follows him inside.

INT., SECURITY

COOPER is agitated and pacing the room.

HARPER
Cooper, Tevik is a Vulcan, and Vulcans are intensely private about pon farr.
Maybe he requested an off-base assignment because he just needs a little time
to regroup before interacting with everyone again.

COOPER
That’s exactly my point, Harper. Pon farr is a uniquely vulnerable time for Vulcans
and as his doctor, I have a duty to - 

HARPER
Oh, Cooper, for Pete’s sake! Has it occurred to you that between the holodeck
and the Officer’s Lounge, Tevik had plenty of opportunities to deal with pon farr -
so maybe there’s a reason he let it escalate to the point that it became
a medical event?

COOPER stops dead in his tracks. It had not, in fact, occurred to him.

INT., SICKBAY, 

TISHA and MAAL are sitting side by side on MAAL’s desk.

MAAL
... But I thought you wanted to be Chief Engineer some day?

TISHA
I do, but....

MAAL
But what?

TISHA
(With a shrug)
…I don’t know, Nguyen and Greeley and the rest of the guys have a stupid sense of humor,
and they can be really immature, but… as much as I roll my eyes at them… I really like those guys. 

MAAL
Isn’t that a good thing?

TISHA
Yes, but Nguyen is really popular, and everyone expects him to be the interim Chief Engineer.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

NGUYEN walks down the hallway toward Engineering when he encounters RAMIREZ.

RAMIREZ
Hey, there you are!

NGUYEN
What’s up, Ramirez?

He notices a second pip on her uniform collar.

NGUYEN
When did you rank up?

RAMIREZ
Last week. The L-T-C said that my service has been exemplary
and promoted me to Lieutenant Junior Grade. 

NGUYEN
Just like that?

RAMIREZ 
Well, yeah. I mean, it’s not like Starfleet expects someone to remain an ensign
for years on end,
just because they're out in the middle of nowhere - how messed up would that be?*

NGUYEN
Congratulations!

RAMIREZ
Thanks.

They start walking do the hall together.

RAMIREZ
So, speaking of promotions,
is it true that you’re going to be the new Chief Engineer?

NGUYEN stops walking and sighs.

NGUYEN
Probably not.

INT., THE VULCAN MONASTERY

The inside of the monastery is just as fortress-like as the outside. As TEVIK follows the MONK into the monastery, the stone floors and walls cause his footsteps to echo down the halls. 

A short distance  down the main hall, a SECOND VULCAN MONK in saffron robes stands waiting, holding a set of brown initiate monks' robes. 

The SECOND VULCAN MONK hands TEVIK the robes, and TEVIK surrenders his rucksack.

INT., SECURITY

COOPER stands in front of HARPER’s desk.

COOPER
… So you’re saying that Tevik let his pon farr go untreated because –

HARPER rolls her eyes.

HARPER
Because ever since the day you got here, it has been incredibly obvious that
all you two wanted to do was get each other alone in the decontamination chamber.

COOPER gives HARPER a puzzled look.

HARPER
That would be funny if you’d ever served on the NX-01.

INT., SICKBAY

MAAL
Well, yeah, Steve has a lot of friends in Engineering, 
but those guys are your friends, too. 

TISHA 
Not like they are with Nguyen. He’s been here longer, 
and he’s tight with a lot of those guys. 

She sighs.

TISHA
The thing is, the last ship I was stationed on before I came here?

The entire Engineering crew was Betazoid.

MAAL
Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.

TISHA
Yeah, I thought so too, at first. But the reality of being the only person in the department
who can’t carry on a telepathic conversation?... The deafening silence is bad enough.
Then there’s the laughter that comes out of nowhere at jokes that you're not part of.
And when they do talk to you, you never get to finish a sentence because they already
know what you’re about to say. Not to mention the fact that your colleagues can have
a whole conversation about you right in front of your face.

MAAL
I’m sure they weren’t -

TISHA
Maal, these are engineers. We’re not talking about
the most socially adept group of people here, telepathic or otherwise.

MAAL
Oh.

INT., VULCAN MONASTERY SANCTUARY

The Sanctuary at the heart of the monastery is lit by numerous candles positioned around the walls. There is an altar at one end of the room, where an ELDER MONK stands waiting.

TEVIK, having donned his monk’s robes, approaches the altar, bows his head, and another MONK standing behind him strikes a gong.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

NGUYEN and RAMIREZ walk side by side down the hallway.

RAMIREZ
Why wouldn’t you be Chief? Who else would the Commander pick?

NGUYEN
Well, since he asked both me and Johnson to meet with him, probably her.

RAMIREZ
But you’ve been here longer –

NGUYEN stops walking.

NGUYEN
And I out-rank her. Which means the Commander probably wants to explain
why he’s promoting her instead, and make sure that I’m onboard
so that it doesn’t cause problems in the department.

RAMIREZ
Wow.... So what are you going to do?

INT., SICKBAY

TISHA frowns.

TISHA
It’s really hard working next to people who don't talk to you unless they have to,
but, you know, you get used to it…. And then the whole time-portal cave thing happened,
and then suddenly I was here, and… I don't know, from the moment I arrived, all these strangers
that I’d never met before acted like they were glad to see me and happy I was here.

MAAL
Well, because we are.
He takes her hand, and TISHA smiles.

MAAL
Especially me.

TISHA
(With a sigh)
From an engineering standpoint, this station is the biggest damn mess I’ve ever seen.
But it’s also the best place I’ve ever worked, and I don’t want to lose that. I don't want
Nguyen to be mad at me, I don’t want to get the cold shoulder from all the other engineers,
and I don’t want to go back to being on the outside, feeling like I don’t belong.

INT., SECURITY 

COOPER collapses into a chair in front of HARPER’s desk.

COOPER
Oh God, this really is my fault. He came to my quarters afterward,
and I told him “I’m sorry, Tevik. It won’t happen again.” 

He runs his hands through his hair in frustration.

COOPER
I was trying to apologize, and he probably thinks I was rejecting him.

HARPER
Coop –

COOPER
I always do this. I always push people away!

INT., VULCAN MONASTERY SANCTUARY

As the MONK continues striking the gong, the other VULCAN MONKS file into the sanctuary, where TEVIK stands before them.

INT., SICKBAY

MAAL looks at TISHA earnestly.

MAAL
You know, when I first came here, I was the only Orion and I had just done a year in the brig.
And then to make matters worse, I found out that everyone else here was a displaced time traveler,
and I was only one assigned here because Starfleet decided that a court martial would be too embarrassing.

He takes TISHA’s hand.

MAAL
But, after a while, I realized that the thing about Star Base 80 is,  no one’s supposed to be here -
it’s the place Starfleet puts you when you don’t belong anywhere else anymore….
So, we’re all here on the outside, together.

TISHA smiles, and MAAL leans in. They share a tender kiss.

MAAL
If you do get the job, I don't think Steve will hold it against you.
In fact, I bet if you talk to him about it, he'd tell you the same thing.

TISHA
I don't know, maybe you're right.

MAAL
You should go talk to him right now. You'll feel better.
When are you guys supposed to with the Commander?

TISHA
Ten o'clock.

MAAL
(Alarmed)
Tisha, that's in, like, five minutes.

TISHA
No, it's not. I haven’t been here that long -

MAAL opens his communicator and shows it to her.

TISHA
No!

TISHA runs out of Sickbay in dismay.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

TISHA runs down the hallway, rounds the corner, and then tears down another corridor in search of the nearest turbolift.

She rounds another corner and spies one at the end of the hallway. She races there and taps the entrance panel frantically and repeatedly.

TISHA
(Under her breath)
Oh, come on, come on, come on. I can't be late -
not to the Commander’s office. Not for this.

The turbolift chimes and TISHA breathes a sigh of relief.

Then the door slides open to reveal NGUYEN already onboard.

TISHA swallows anxiously.

INT., THE VULCAN MONASTERY SANCTUARY

When the MONKS have all assembled, TEVIK bows his head, and the ELDER MONK steps forward and produces a large, razor-sharp knife.

TEVIK kneels before him.

INT., SECURITY

COOPER resumes pacing in agitation.

COOPER
My relationships are always a mess. I'm obviously the problem here,
and I can't stop getting in my own way. I don't know how,
because I'm a sad, broken man who -

HARPER steps in front of him.

HARPER
Cooper, stop.

She takes him gently by the shoulders.

HARPER
You're not broken, and you're not a problem. You're the same as everyone else.
We're all out here doing our best, and sometimes our best just isn't very good. 
And that's okay. The only person who expects you to be perfect is you.

A realization strikes COOPER, and his shoulders slump.

COOPER
Oh God, you're right.... And you want to know what the real irony is?

HARPER
What's that?

COOPER
I just broke up with a guy who basically told me the same thing.

INT., TURBOLIFT,

NGUYEN and TISHA ride side by side, silently staring straight ahead.

After a long moment, they turn to one another at the same time

NGUYEN
So, hey, I just wanted to tell you –

(Simultaneously)

TISHA
Nguyen, I’ve been thinking about it and –

They both laugh awkwardly.

NYUGEN
You first.

TISHA shakes her head.

TISHA
Uh-uh. You.

NGUYEN
Okay… I think we both know why we’re here, and I just want to say that
you’re going to make an excellent Chief Engineer. And I’m looking forward to working with you. 

NGUYEN nods at TISHA.

NGUYEN
Now you.

TISHA
Um, okay, so, no matter what happens, I just don’t want to ruin our friendship.
Because you would also be a great Chief Engineer, and if I get this job,
I’m really going to need your help. You and all the guys in Engineering.
And I don’t want this to mess things up, because I really like you guys.

NGUYEN does a double take.

NGUYEN
You do? Because, like, half the time,
you’re telling us to stop messing around and quit being stupid.

TISHA looks away.

TISHA
Yeah, well… I’m not always very good at being part of things…

TISHA looks back at NGUYEN.

TISHA
But, um, you guys make me laugh…. And I know that when you’re giving me a hard time,
it’s just your way of saying that I belong….

NGUYEN rolls his eyes.

NGUYEN
Of course you belong, Johnson. Don’t be stupid.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

CH’THANE sits behind his desk, watching a FEDERATION NEWS NETWORK ANCHOR on the view screen.

NEWS ANCHOR
Another anti-Federation protest was staged overnight in the Bolian capitol city,
with the number of protesters estimated to be in the -

The door chimes, and CH'THANE turns the view screen off.

CH'THANE
Enter.

NGUYEN and TISHA file in and take seats in front of him, and he turns to face them.

CH’THANE
Before Tevik left on assignment, he said that you were both highly capable,
good in a crisis, and that either one of you would make a fine interim Chief Engineer. 

TISHA glances over at NGUYEN, and he gives her a reassuring smile.

CH’THANE
Now, I’m not going to soft-pedal this – being Chief Engineer is a lot of responsibility,
and since the two of you are junior officers, I’m leaning towards giving the job to both of you.

TISHA and NGUYEN look at each other, and then back at CH’THANE.

TISHA
… So, we’d be, like… Co-Interim Chief Engineers?

CH’THANE
Essentially, yes. You’d have to work together, communicate, and most importantly,
present a united front when it comes to the crew. Is that something you’re both capable of?

TISHA and NGYEN
(Simultaneously)
Yes, Sir.

CH’THANE
Good. Then, congratulations to both of you on your new position.

NGUYEN
Thank you, Sir, we –

CH’THANE
Now get the hell out of my office, you’ve got a department to run.

INT., THE VULCAN MONASTERY

The ELDER MONK sets the razor down on the nearby altar, and TEVIK stands and faces the assembled MONKS. His head is completely shaven. 

He bows to the assembled MONKS, and they, in turn, bow to him.

INT., SECURITY

COOPER sighs.

COOPER
I know that I should just be okay with who I am, but I have no idea how.

HARPER
Well, you're the one who's going to have to figure that out.
No one else can do it for you.

COOPER nods.

HARPER
But listen -

He looks at her

HARPER
Stop beating yourself up.

She punches him softly on the shoulder.

HARPER
That’s my job.

COOPER sighs again.

COOPER
Thanks for listening. You're a good friend.

HARPER
Anytime.

They embrace.

COOPER
I’d better get back to Sickbay. Hopefully no one’s waiting on me.

INT., ENGINEERING

The ENGINEERS are lined up in front of NGUYEN and TISHA.

NGUYEN
Okay, while the Chief is away on assignment, the Commander has appointed
Johnson and me as Interim Co-Chief Engineers. 

The assembled ENGINEERS exchange inscrutable looks.

TISHA
We’ll be handling duty rosters, managing assignments, and working together
with all of you to keep the place running.

NGUYEN
You can come to either of us with anything, and we’ll all work together to solve it.
So, with that out of the way, duty assignments: Zoxx and Greeley,
you guys are on the power core.

TISHA
Murphy and K’Mor, systems maintenance, starting with that grav plate in the conference room.
It’s acting up again. Garrison, you’ve got carbon filtration duty -

GARRISON
But I was on carbon filtration duty last week!

TISHA
Then you should be even more efficient at it today. 

GARRISON turns to NGUYEN. 

GARRISON
Come on, Steve -

NGUYEN
Everyone takes a turn on carbon filtration duty, Garrison.
We all do it, and we all hate it.

TISHA
All right, people, you’ve got your assignments. Let’s go. 

Thus tasked, the ENGINEERS disperse, and NGUYEN and TISHA look at each other.

NGUYEN
Nice work, Chief.

TISHA
Thank you, Chief.

NGUYEN
We’ve totally got this.

They share a congratulatory fist bump.

INT., SICKBAY

COOPER enters Sickbay to find MAAL gone, and AGENT SMITH sitting at COOPER’s desk. AGENT SMITH turns in his chair.

AGENT SMITH
Why, good morning, Doctor.

COOPER
(With crisp professionalism)
Agent Smith, how can I help you?

AGENT SMITH
I believe you have a patient on Nausicaa you’re treating for T’Karr’s Syndrome?

COOPER
Officially or unofficially?

This answer merits a flicker of a half-smile from AGENT SMITH.

AGENT SMITH
Don’t you think you ought to check in and see how he’s doing?

COOPER crosses his arms.

COOPER
Why?

AGENT SMITH
Well, isn’t that part of your Hippocratic oath?

COOPER
No. I mean, why do you care so much about my patients?

AGENT SMITH
Given the current inter-planetary political climate,
Section 31 is keenly interested in making connections on Nausicaa right now.

COOPER stares down his reflection in AGENT SMITH’s mirrored aviators.

COOPER
It would be unethical for me to lend cover to your intelligence operation
by allowing it to pose as a medical aid mission.

AGENT SMITH
And I wouldn’t dream of asking you to. I’m simply proposing a little jaunt
up to the So’Ghar province to see how your patient is doing. 

COOPER
And you just so happen to want to tag along. 

AGENT SMITH stands and approaches COOPER.

AGENT SMITH
Let’s just say I’m eager to see the sights.
I hear the mountains are beautiful this time of year.

COOPER
I could refuse.

AGENT SMITH
And I could direct the Commander to order you to comply.
So, let’s keep this friendly, shall we? After all –

AGENT SMITH smiles and claps COOPER on the shoulder.

AGENT SMITH
We’re going to be traveling together.

With that, AGENT SMITH exits Sickbay, leaving COOPER to stare after him in consternation.

INT., SECURITY

HARPER is working at her desk when the doorway chimes and CH’THANE enters. She looks up.

CH’THANE
Lieutenant Commander, you look like you could use a vacation.

HARPER
I’m sure I do, Sir.

CH’THANE
Smith and I are accompanying the Doctor on a little jaunt up to Nausicaa.
Why don’t you come along? A change of scenery will do you good.

HARPER
Well, I’d love to, Sir, but if the four of us are on Nausicaa
and Tevik is on assignment, who’s going to run the station?

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN and TISHA are both at their stations, and the place is humming like a well-oiled machine when CH’THANE’s voice comes over comms. 

CH’THANE
Interim Chief Engineers, report to my office.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

CH’THANE is sitting at his desk, with DR. VRENEK standing behind him, when the door chimes and TISHA and NGUYEN enter.

NGUYEN
You wanted to see us, Sir?

CH’THANE
Yes. The Lieutenant Commander and the Doctor will be accompanying me
on an off-station assignment for a few days. 

NGUYEN and TISHA look at each other.

TISHA
Well, Sir, I appreciate your confidence in us,
but I really don’t think we’re ready to run the station just yet.

CH’THANE
Good, because you’re not. In my absence, Dr. Vrenek will be in charge.
You’ll report to her, and I expect you to treat her orders as though
they come directly from me.

NGUYEN and TISHA look at each other, and then at VRENEK. She raises an eyebrow.

INT., A SECTION 31 RUNABOUT, A SHORT TIME LATER

The runabout is idling in dock. CH’THANE and HARPER are at the helm, dressed in black fatigues.

The airlock opens, and AGENT SMITH boards the ship. He is talking into his communicator.

AGENT SMITH
I don’t care about your excuses, Agent, get it together. Now!

AGENT SMITH snaps his communicator closed sharply and takes a seat.

CH’THANE turns in his chair.

CH’THANE
Everything all right?

AGENT SMITH
That was our man on Ferenginar.

CH’THANE
In over his head, is he? 

AGENT SMITH?
He’s so lost, he couldn’t find his ass with both hands and a map.
And to make matters worse, the Ferengi have not only sold him the map,
but they've got him thanking them for the opportunity.

CH’THANE
Shame. He seemed promising.

The airlock door opens and COOPER boards the ship. 

AGENT SMITH
Doctor, good of you to join us.

CH’THANE
There’s a set of fatigues for you in the back.

COOPER frowns as he heads to the back of the ship to change.

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander, are you ready for your first foreign assignment?

HARPER
Looking forward to it, Sir.

AGENT SMITH
Good. Initiate take-off protocols.

HARPER begins touching panels and flipping switches.

EXT., SPACE

The sleek, black Section 31 runabout disconnects from the docking bay, heads away from the station, and then goes to warp, leaving Star Base 80 behind.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

Standing behind CH’THANE’s desk, VRENEK addresses TISHA and NGUYEN.

VRENEK
Initially, I had concerns about whether humans were even capable of fulfilling
the role of Chief Engineer on this station, let alone junior officers… 

VRENEK comes around to the other side of the desk. 

VRENEK
So I am gratified to see that the Commander has appointed both of you….
Working together should increase your less-than-favorable odds of delivering
an adequate performance.

VRENEK takes a padd from CH’THANE’s desk. 

VRENEK
Now, I have compiled a list of improvements to the station,
and I would like to take this opportunity, while the Commander is away, to implement them.

VRENEK hands the padd to TISHA, and she and NGUYEN read the list, scrolling several times before they finally look up.

TISHA
…. You expect us to do all these things?

VRENEK
No, Lieutenant Junior Grade. 

NUGYEN and TISHA visibly relax. 

NGUYEN
That's good, because -

VRENEK
I expect Engineering to do all of these things….
I expect you to be responsible for ensuring that they do.

NGUYEN and TISHA look at each other in growing dismay.

VRENEK
So I suggest that you get started. Dismissed.

ROLL CREDITS

Chapter 9: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 9 Alliances, Part 1: The Beast of So’Ghar

Summary:

Just a road trip to Nausicaa with a couple of Section 31 agents, while the junior officers adjust to life on the station under Romulan rule.

Notes:

Content warning: The opening scene of this episode contains the prelude to an implied off-screen sexual assault of a non-recurring character. If this would be triggering for you, please consider carefully whether or not you should read this episode. A synopsis is provided in the end notes for those who wish to skip this episode, but still want to keep up with the ongoing plot. Above all, take care of yourself and stay safe. We're all in this together, friends.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 9 Alliances, Part 1: The Beast of So’Ghar

EXT., A MOUNTAIN PATH ON NAUSICAAThe mountain path is narrow and winding, but the sun is shining brightly on the verdant grass in the meadow below.

MIRA, a Nausicaan girl of about fifteen, is leading a herd of goats down the path on their way to the meadow.

She stops and looks up as a low-flying Orion patrol ship soars overhead, and then, when it has passed, she gently nudges the goats forward with her shepherd’s staff. 

She comes to a particularly treacherous part of the path, hidden from view by natural rock formations. As she carefully navigates the rocky path, a male ORION PATROLMAN in a military uniform beams down in front of her.

Frightened, MIRA turns to run, only to be confronted by a SECOND ORION PATROLMAN who has beamed in behind her.

SECOND ORION PATROLMAN
(With a sinister leer)
Hello, Pretty.

ROLL OPENING CREDITS

INT., THE SECTION 31 RUNABOUT

AGENT SMITH sits at the weapons station, while CH’THANE and HARPER man the helm. A disgruntled COOPER sits at comms.

HARPER
Coming up on Nausicaa.

AGENT SMITH
Engage the cloak when we drop out of warp and put us in orbit around the second moon.
We’re going to beam into Tre’Zahd.

COOPER
Why are we beaming into the Nausicann capitol? Braxok and Krevnar are in So’Ghar.

AGENT SMITH
Because our contact is in Tre’Zahd, Doctor. If you had done a little research 
into your patients’ backgrounds, you’d understand why they didn’t just 
send us a set of coordinates to their location.

COOPER
I don’t “research” my patients’ backgrounds. 
I’m a doctor, not a morally gray intelligence agent.

This elicits chuckles from CH’THANE and AGENT SMITH.

AGENT SMITH
(In mock coyness)
Morally gray? Why, Doctor, you’re making me blush!

COOPER fumes as CH’THANE and AGENT SMITH chortle at this.

INT., ENGINEERING, STAR BASE 80

The department is bustling as the ENGINEERS labor over DR. VRENEK’s lengthy list of station improvements. NGUYEN and TISHA are both working furiously at their stations.

NGUYEN’s comm badge sounds.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
All the Tucker tubes have been replaced and re-calibrated.

NGUYEN picks up his padd and taps his comm badge.

NGUYEN
Good work. I need you to go help K’Mor upgrade the EPS conduits.

NGUYEN taps his badge closed and turns to TISHA.

NGUYEN
Okay, we’re making progress. How far down Dr. Vrenek's list does that put us?

TISHA picks up her padd.

TISHA
A little over ten percent.

NGUYEN’s shoulders sag.

NGUYEN
We’re killing ourselves here –

TISHA
I know. We just have to keep pushing –

At that moment, the door chimes and DR. VRENEK enters and approaches NGUYEN and TISHA.

VRENEK
What is the estimated time of completion for improvements to the station?

NGUYEN
Sir, we’re all working as hard as we can –

VRENEK
I did not ask for platitudes, Lieutenant. I asked for metrics.

TISHA
We’ve completed twelve percent of requested upgrades, Dr. Vrenek.

VRENEK
That is insufficient.

TISHA
We’re all pushing –

VRENEK
Then push harder. These improvements are to be completed by the Commander’s return. 
As his mission is currently estimated at seventy-two hours, you will need to speed up
the pace of your work considerably.

NGUYEN and TISHA
(Simultaneously)
Yes, Sir.

VRENEK
Now, I must go oversee Security’s conditioning in the holodeck, but I shall return to monitor
your progress. I expect a substantial increase in your fulfillment rate, Interim Chief Engineers.

With a severe look at both TISHA and NGUYEN, VRENEK exits. As the door slides shut behind her, they turn and look at each other.

NGUYEN
We can’t possibly work any faster than we are right now. What are we going to do?

TISHA
I have no idea.

INT., SECTION 31 RUNABOUT

HARPER
(Flipping switches)
We’ve achieved orbit, Sir.

AGENT SMITH
Good. Now before we beam down, let’s run through the basics. 
We’re here to meet our contact, who will take us to the ZedGhar encampment 
in the KadChek mountains. 

CH’THANE
Our cover story is that we’re smugglers, so if anyone asks, or if you get picked up by the authorities, 
we’re here on Nausicaa “looking for opportunities.”

AGENT SMITH
Finally, Nausicaan culture is highly patriarchal. Women have traditionally been considered property, 
and they abide by strict rules of conduct. Less so in the cities, but very much so in the rural
and mountain areas where we’re headed.

CH’THANE
Don’t address women that you haven’t been introduced to, and even then, 
be careful. It can be taken as an insult to her father, husband, brothers
 – whoever her closest male relative is.

AGENT SMITH
Section 31 protocol in situations like this is that women belong to the senior agent on-scene.

COOPER
That’s disgusting!

CH’THANE
Oh, quit clutching your pearls, Doctor. It’s for the best.

As AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE head to the transporter pad, COOPER looks over at HARPER.

COOPER
Harper, are you hearing this?!

HARPER
(With a shrug)
Coop, if it’s a rule, I’m sure there’s a good reason for it.

HARPER gets up to join AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE at the transporter, leaving a flabbergasted COOPER to follow suit.

EST., EXT., TRE’ZAHD.

The Nausicaan capitol city is gray and grim. Billboard-sized viewscreens display Orion propaganda, interspersed with images of the Orion flag. HOMELESS NAUSICAANS line the streets, and NAUSICAAN CITIZENS hurry along their way, avoiding eye contact with patrolling ORION SOLDIERS. Many of the NAUSICAANS are ill and coughing. 

AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE, HARPER and COOPER beam down on a street corner.As they take in their surroundings, a female ORION PIRATE beams down near a handful of NAUSICAAN MEN gathered on a street corner. NAUSICAAN MALE 1 is carrying a SMALL CHILD.

ORION PIRATE
(Pointing to the NAUSICAANS, including NAUSICAAN 1)
You, you and you - you’re now cargo handlers on the Imbroglio.

NAUSICAAN MALE 1
No. Please, I can’t -

A nearby ORION PATROLMAN takes notice and approaches the group, causing the SMALL CHILD to cry.

As this is happening, AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE discretely raise the hoods on their fatigue jackets, and HARPER and COOPER follow suit.

ORION PATROLMAN
(To NAUSICAAN MALE 1)
Dodging conscription is against the law.

NAUSICAAN MALE 1
But my daughter - 

The PATROLMAN raises his phaser rifle, but the ORION PIRATE places her hand on the PATROLMAN’s shoulder.

ORION PIRATE
Stand down. I’ve got this.

The ORION PIRATE approaches NAUSICAAN MALE 1 contemptuously, coming to stand extremely close to him.

ORION PIRATE
I said you’re a cargo handler on the Imbroglio.

NAUSICAAN MALE 1 shakes his head as her pheromones start to take effect. 

NAUSICAAN MALE 1
(Indicating the SMALL CHILD)
Please - just let me take her home to her mother -

The ORION PIRATE leans in and jabs her finger in his chest, causing the SMALL CHILD to wail louder.

ORION PIRATE
Get moving, cargo handler.

NAUSICAAN MALE 1
(Overtaken by her pheromones)
… yes, Mistress. 

Defeated, NAUSICAAN MALE 1 sets the SMALL CHILD down in the street.

COOPER makes a move toward the SMALL CHILD, but he is restrained by AGENT SMITH’s hand on his arm and a warning look.

With one last look back, NAUSICAAN MALE 1 and the other two NAUSICAANS follow the ORION PIRATE toward her ship, leaving the SMALL CHILD to sob inconsolably.

SMALL CHILD
Papa!

COOPER looks back at CH’THANE.

COOPER
Sir, we can’t just –

An ELDERLY NAUSICAAN WOMAN steps forth from the crowd and gathers the SMALL CHILD in her arms.

ELDERLY NAUSICAAN WOMAN
(To the SMALL CHILD)
Shhh. It will be all right.

As the group watches the ELDERLY NAUSICAAN WOMAN comforting the SMALL CHILD, CH’THANE looks over at COOPER.

CH’THANE
You’re going to see a lot of things that break your heart, Doctor. 
You can’t help everyone.

AGENT SMITH
We’d better hurry before that pirate and her pheromones run across our contact.

The group starts moving again, but COOPER remains unsettled.

INT., ENGINEERING

TISHA is working on an open electrical panel when GREELEY approaches her.

GREELEY
Hey, why are we changing the shield harmonic frequencies?

TISHA
Because we were ordered to, Greeley. 
I don’t sit around making up busywork for fun.

GREELEY
No, I mean, why are we changing shield harmonic frequencies 
ahead of schedule? We rotated them yesterday.

TISHA stops working and taps her badge.

TISHA
Nguyen, did Engineering rotate the shield harmonics this week?

NGUYEN
(Over TISHA’s comm badge)
Yeah, we did it yesterday. Why?

TISHA and GREELEY exchange looks.

TISHA
Maybe we should take a closer look at some of the improvements on Dr. Vrenek’s list.

EXT., A SIDE STREET IN TRE’ZAHD

As AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE, HARPER and COOPER turn down a narrow side street, an image of GENERAL VERAAN RA’JET, a female Orion in a decorated military uniform, appears on a nearby billboard viewscreen.

VERAAN RA’JET
Welcome to your liberation, people of Nausicaa! 
The Orion flag protects all those who stand beneath it.

COOPER
(To himself)
You’ve got to be kidding me.


As the group walk down the side street, the NAUSICAAN CONTACT steps out of the shadows.

NAUSICAAN CONTACT
Can you spare a slip of latinum? My aged mother needs medicine.

AGENT SMITH
Sorry to hear it. Has her gout gotten any better?

NAUSICAAN CONTACT
Let me see the doctor.

COOPER lowers the hood of his jacket. The NAUSICAAN CONTACT looks at him, and then at his communicator. Finally, he nods.

NAUSICAAN CONTACT
Follow me.

The group follows the NAUSICAAN CONTACT down the narrow side street. As they do, AGENT SMITH discretely taps the black badge under his jacket.

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN, TISHA and GREELEY are huddled over a padd at NGUYEN’s workstation. 

GREELEY
Have you guys actually looked at some of these “improvements” to the station? 

NGUYEN
Of course we have.

TISHA
I mean, the workload is ridiculous, but her tasks aren't unreasonable: 
buffering the phase conductors, cross-referencing the astrometrics library -

GREELEY
Okay, but why are we recalibrating the long-distance sensors? 
And why are we changing the shield harmonics while the Commander’s away?

NGUYEN
Those are things we do all the time, Greeley.

GREELEY
You don’t think it’s a little suspicious that the Chief Science Officer 
suddenly wants all these things done now, while there’s no one around 
to see what she’s up to?

TISHA
Greeley, stop. Dr. Vrenek spends too much time alone in the Science Lab, 
and she’s obviously spent a lot of that time making a to-do list. 
Just because she’s demanding and… eccentric… doesn’t mean 
she’s hatching some evil scheme.

GREELEY
Then why are Garrison and Murphy updating the station’s defensive array 
with Romulan technology?

NGUYEN and TISHA look at each other, and NGUYEN picks up his padd.

NGUYEN
They were assigned to augment the station’s laser cannons 
with molecular disruption generators -

GREELEY
Exactly. Where do you think molecular disruption technology comes from?

NGUYEN
Greeley, stop. We’ve got technology from over two hundred different cultures 
on this station -

GREELEY
Yeah, but how much of that technology is wired directly to the Science Lab?

TISHA
… What?

GREELEY
Trexx and Chen are replacing the station's wiring, and the specs say 
to patch the wiring from the station’s defensive array straight to the Science Lab.

NGUYEN and TISHA look at each other.

TISHA
... Maybe we should talk to her about some of these “improvements.”

EST., THE KADCHEK MOUNTAIN RANGE, THE SO’GHAR PROVINCE, NAUSICAA

The rugged, rocky terrain has a certain desolate beauty. 

A Nausicaan shuttle descends from the upper atmosphere and lands inside a cave on the face of the tallest mountain.

INT., CAVE

AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE, HARPER and COOPER emerge from the shuttle. All four wear tactical rucksacks, and COOPER carries his doctor’s bag. The NAUSICAAN CONTACT leaves the shuttle and walks to the cave’s entrance. He points to a steep and forbidding path up the mountainside.

NAUSICAAN CONTACT
You walk the rest of the way.

EXT., THE ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT, SOME TIME LATER

As AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE, HARPER and COOPER reach the sheltered mountain plateau at the end of the path, they are greeted by the sight of a vast array of colorful tents pitched in a circle around the encampment.

As they begin to make their way into camp, a very intimidating BURLY NAUSICAAN steps in their way.

BURLY NAUSICAAN
(Pointing at HARPER)
Whose woman is that? 

AGENT SMITH steps up to the BURLY NAUSICAAN. He projects a surprising amount of self-assurance for a forgettable-looking man who must crane his neck to make “eye contact” with his rival.

AGENT SMITH
She’s spoken for.

For a tense moment, the BURLY NAUSICAAN and AGENT SMITH face off, before the BURLY NAUSICAAN finally nods and walks away.

CH’THANE turns to COOPER.

CH’THANE
Now do you see, Doctor?

AGENT SMITH
The only thing more dangerous for the Lieutenant Commander than none of us
speaking for her would be two agents speaking up for her at the same time.
That kind of chaos invites opportunists like him to make a direct play for
control of the situation, and that’s how agents get hurt or killed.

AGENT SMITH turns to HARPER. 

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander, stay close to me and don’t interact with male Nausicaans 
until I’ve introduced you. You can talk all you like to the women, 
and I’d suggest that you do. We’re here to make friends, after all.

HARPER nods and slips behind AGENT SMITH as the group walks into the encampment.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

NGUYEN and TISHA stand nervously outside the door to the Science Lab.

NGUYEN
Are you sure this is a good idea?

TISHA
Dr. Vrenek’s not as intimidating as she seems, and I’m sure there’s a good explanation
for all of this. We’re just here to get some clarification on her assignments. That’s all.

TISHA taps her badge.

TISHA
Chief Engineers to the Science Lab?

The Science Lab door chimes and slides open, and DR. VRENEK appears in the doorway.

VRENEK
I trust that Engineering has completed its assigned tasks.

NGUYEN
Actually, uh, we just had a couple questions about –

At that moment, PINKY and EUGENE, curious about their visitors, poke their eyeless heads out of the door.

NGUYEN jumps back.

NGUYEN
Khan’s mullet! Those things are real?!

TISHA
(To NGUYEN)
I told you.

VRENEK
If your tasks are not completed, then why are you here?

TISHA
We just had a couple questions about some of them.

VRENEK puts her hands on her hips.

VRENEK
… Go on?

TISHA
I’m just a little unclear about why some of the station’s functions 
are being routed directly to the Science Lab?

VRENEK
As junior officers and interim department heads, you lack the requisite security clearance
for a thorough explanation. Suffice it to say, the Commander has approved these changes.

NGUYEN
Um, so, about that – uh, we may not be able to get to all of these before
the Commander gets back –

VRENEK
Then why are you here? You are wasting time.

TISHA
Well, it’s just that a lot of these were tasks that required Tevik’s approval, and –

VRENEK waves her hand dismissively.

VRENEK
The previous Chief Engineer was uncooperative when it came to making 
these improvements. I expect a more compliant attitude from the two of you.

NGUYEN and TISHA are silent.

VRENEK
… Was there something else? 

NGUYEN
Uh… no, but –

VRENEK
Good. I expect these improvements to be completed before the Commander’s return, 
so I suggest that you apply yourselves more diligently than you are at this present moment.

She retreats into the Science Lab, and the door slides shut with a chime, leaving TISHA and NGUYEN alone in the hallway.

NGUYEN
… Johnson, did that make you feel any better about any of this?

TISHA
No. 

EXT., THE ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT 

As AGENT SMITH, HARPER, CH’THANE and COOPER move into the encampment, BRAXOK and KREVNAR, who are dressing a large game animal, spot them and approach the group.

BRAXOK
My friends! You have arrived!

COOPER steps forward, and BRAXOK embraces him and presses his bony plate to COOPER’s forehead.

BRAXOK
(To COOPER, gesturing at the encampment)
Welcome home, my brother.

BRAXOK is then overtaken by a coughing fit, and it takes a moment for him to recover himself. 

BRAXOK
I will inform my uncle of your presence. Wait here.

As BRAXOK and KREVNAR head toward a large tent at the far end of the encampment, AGENT SMITH turns to the others.

AGENT SMITH
Those two are nephews of the ZedGar tribal chieftan, Gath’Rok.

COOPER
Wait – Gath’Rok, the Beast of So’Ghar?

HARPER
Who’s the Beast of So’Ghar?

AGENT SMITH
Fifty years ago, General Gath’Rok united the Te’Ghot and De’Nai 
under his command and drove the Breen out of Nausicaa. 

CH’THANE
The Te’Ghot and De’Nai are two rival ethnic factions. Or at least, they used to be.

AGENT SMITH
The De’Nai defeated the Te’Ghot over a century ago, and those ethnic factions
have become a sort of caste system. The ZedGar are one of the few De’Nai tribes that
permit the Te’Ghot to live among them. The General is progressive in that way.

CH’THANE
After General Gath’Rok defeated the Breen, everyone expected that he’d be the Prime Minister,
but he disappeared into the mountains. It took a hell of a lot of work to find him, and without
the Doctor’s connection to his nephews, we probably never would have.

HARPER
Why do they call him the Beast of So’Ghar?

CH’THANE
Because it’s said that he devours his enemies.

AGENT SMITH
You see, Doctor? I told you it pays to research your patients.

Just then, BRAXOK approaches the group again, followed at a short distance by a group of NAUSICAAN WOMEN.

BRAXOK
My uncle will see you now.

As the group starts to move forward, BRAXOK stops HARPER.

BRAXOK
My uncle does not meet with women. 
(Indicating the group of WOMEN) You must go with them.

COOPER
Braxok, Harper has done as much for you and Krevnar and Grallix as anyone here.
Maybe more. She deserves the same respect –

CH’THANE
Lieutenant Commander, will you spare us all another one of the doctor’s lectures 
and join the women according to tribal custom?

HARPER
Yes, Sir.

AGENT SMITH
And, Lieutenant Commander, remember what I said about making friends.

HARPER nods and approaches the group of NAUSICAAN WOMEN, who embrace her warmly before leading her away.

As she departs, AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE and COOPER follow BRAXOK to the largest tent at the far end of the encampment.

INT., GATH’ROK’S TENT

As AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE and COOPER enter the tent, they are faced with GENERAL GATH’ROK ZEDGAR, seated in a tall, rustic chair adorned with humanoid skulls, and flanked by two NAUSICAAN WARRIORS. The right half of GATH'ROK's face is heavily scarred and his right eye is completely white, forcing him to turn his head occasionally to keep his guests in sight of his left eye. 

BRAXOK approaches GATH’ROK, and GATH'ROK presses his bony plate to BRXOK's before releasing him.

BRAXOK
Uncle, this is Dr. Cooper, my N’Chek Tahn.

GATH’ROK beckons COOPER with a nod, and COOPER approaches. GATH’ROK tilts his head to study COOPER with his good eye.

GATH’ROK
I understand we have you to thank for the lives of my nephews and my grandnephew.

COOPER
I was just doing my job.

GATH’ROK studies COOPER for a long moment before he responds.

GATH’ROK
… My nephew declares you as his brother, and so we welcome you
as family returning. Welcome home, N’Chek Tahn.

COOPER
(Bowing his head)
Thank you, Honored Elder. 

GATH’ROK looks over at AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE.

GATH’ROK
(To COOPER)
Now, brother of my nephew, who have you brought before me?

COOPER glances back at AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE, and AGENT SMITH raises his eyebrows expectantly.

COOPER
This is, uh - this is Agent Smith and Agent ch’Thane. I… report to them.

AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE step forward.

AGENT SMITH
On behalf of Section 31, we come to pay tribute to the Beast of So’Ghar.

CH’THANE
Tales of his valor in battle are reknown throughout the quadrant.

GATH’ROK
I am an old man now, so those tales of valor must travel slowly indeed.

AGENT SMITH
Forgive our… tardiness, General. It’s no reflection of our regard for you. 

CH’THANE
As a token of that regard, we come bearing gifts.

AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE remove their backpacks and place them on the ground. The NAUSICAAN WARRIORS collect the backpacks and bring them to GATH’ROK, who opens one and removes a sleek black phaser.

AGENT SMITH
Those are Type 2.8 phasers with falcon sighting. And there’s enough of them 
in those packs to outfit every adult male here.

CH’THANE
They’re accurate to the molecule at fifteen kilometers, and at close range, 
they can cut through tritanium like it’s birthday cake.

GATH’ROK examines the phaser and looks up at AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE.

GATH’ROK
There are no sidearms that are accurate at fifteen kilometers.

AGENT SMITH
You’re welcome to try it out.

GATH’ROK nods and hands the phaser to one of the NAUSICAAN WARRIORS.

EXT., THE ZEDGAR ENCAMPMENTGATH’ROK, the NAUSICAAN WARRIORS, AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE, COOPER and BRAXOK exit GATH’ROK’s tent.

GATH’ROK points to a boulder on a distant mountaintop. Taking aim, the NAUSICAAN WARRIOR fires the phaser, and the resulting phaser fire strikes the boulder and disintegrates it.

GATH’ROK turns to AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE.

GATH’ROK
(Wryly)
Evidently, new technology travels here as slowly as tales of my valor in battle.

AGENT SMITH
Not in this case. Up until now, this was classified equipment.

CH’THANE
We haven’t even given them to Starfleet yet.

A shocked COOPER stares at AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE, who take no notice.

GATH’ROK takes the phaser from the NAUSICAAN WARRIOR and examines it again, before gesturing the party back inside his tent.

INT., GATH’ROK’S TENT

GATH’ROK, his NAUSICAAN LIEUTENANTS, AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE, and COOPER file in, and GATH’ROK retakes his seat. As he does so, he is seized by a coughing fit.
COOPER starts to move toward him, but he is stopped by CH’THANE’s grip on his arm. COOPER looks back at CH’THANE, and CH’THANE subtly shakes his head.

Recovering from his coughing fit, GATH’ROK addresses AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE.

GATH’ROK
You have come all this way to pay tribute to the Beast of So’Ghar. 
I presume that you are seeking something in return?

AGENT SMITH
Section 31 seeks only to make connections and build goodwill 
with the Nausicaan people during these troubled times.

GATH’ROK
I see…. “These” troubled times.

GATH’ROK rises from his chair and approaches the group.

GATH’ROK
You come before me now to pay tribute to my “deeds of valor,” but where was Section 31
with these weapons back when they would have done some good? Where was the Federation
when the Breen were committing genocide against my people?!

GATH’ROK circles the group as he talks.

GATH’ROK
I wonder what has changed?... Why are “these” times suddenly so troubled 
that finally the Federation is moved to send someone to the Beast of So’Ghar 
to “make connections” and “build goodwill?”

GATH’ROK stops directly in front of AGENT SMITH.

GATH’ROK
Perhaps it is because we now have a common enemy?

This merits a subtle eyebrow raise and chin tilt from AGENT SMITH.

GATH’ROK
I see. The Federation is concerned about Orion’s military expansion, and so now,
at long last, you come seeking to “build goodwill” and “make connections”
on Nausicaa, in the hopes that we will fight your battles for you...

GATH’ROK suddenly grabs AGENT SMITH and pulls him close, lifting him off his feet.

GATH’ROK
(Snarling in AGENT SMITH’s face)
My people are not your cannon fodder! 

Seeing that AGENT SMITH shows no reaction to being jerked around like a rag doll, GATH’ROK releases him roughly and retakes his seat.

GATH’ROK
The Breen would have exterminated us all, while the entire quadrant looked on, 
and Starfleet hid behind its Prime Directive. Orion merely wants Nausicaa’s latinum, deuterium,
and heshal. They can have it. Minerals and spice are not worth spilling Nausicaan blood….
And neither is the Federation.

Just then, a NAUSICAAN SCOUT enters the tent and goes straight to GATH’ROK, whispering something to him. GATH’ROK nods grimly.

The NAUSICAAN SCOUT exits, and GATH’ROK appears to be lost in troubled thoughts, before he finally returns his attention to the group.

GATH’ROK
In accordance with tradition, we receive my nephew’s N’Chek Tahn as family returning home,
so tonight, we feast in celebration. Tomorrow, you will leave. There is no “goodwill”
on Nausicaa for the Federation.

GATH’ROK turns away dismissively, and the group file out of the tent. 

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS

NGUYEN, TISHA, GREELEY, MAAL and LIEUTENANT RAMIREZ are huddled together. RAMIREZ is reading a padd intently. Finally, she looks up.

RAMIREZ
I can’t say for certain, but… changing the shield harmonics? Upgrading the sensor and defensive arrays
and routing them straight through to the Science Lab?... If I was going to take over the station
while the Commander was away, these would be a good start.

MAAL
I don’t know, you guys. I just don’t think Dr. Vrenek would do that.

NGUYEH
Then how do you explain some of these? 
Like installing new forcefield junctures throughout the station?

TISHA
To be fair, most of these improvements are benign. Like, I really don’t think 
she’s going to take over the station by adding six different types of 
crushed ice to the replicators.

MAAL picks up the padd excitedly.

MAAL
Oh, is one of them pellet ice?

RAMIREZ
Yeah, but if I were going to get station engineers to do my dirty work, 
I’d do it by putting those tasks in with a whole bunch of other stuff, 
so they’d slip by unnoticed.

NGUYEN
And then maybe overwhelm those same engineers with a grueling work schedule
on a tight time frame, so we’re too busy and tired to see what’s right in front of us?

The group is quiet for a moment.

MAAL
... Guys, I just don’t think Dr. Vrenek would do this.

TISHA
Honestly? I agree with Maal. I don’t think she would either, but… 
what if we’re wrong?

RAMIREZ
Listen, it could just be a coincidence, but before the L-T-C left, 
she mentioned that Romulan warbirds would be conducting exercises
near the station for the next week.

The group is silent for a moment, and NGUYEN looks around at the others.

NGUYEN
You guys, there’s a reason they say that there’s no such thing as
 former Romulan intelligence.

EXT., THE ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT

COOPER, CH’THANE and AGENT SMITH file out of GATH’ROK’s tent. After a moment, BRAXOK emerges from the tent and approaches them.

BRAXOK
You must forgive my uncle. He has much weighing upon him, or he would receive you
with traditional Nausicaan hospitality. This is not our way -

COOPER
Don’t apologize, Braxok. 
(With a look back at CH’THANE and AGENT SMITH
Your uncle didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.

BRAXOK
Still - 

Whatever BRAXOK was about to say is lost, as he is again interrupted by a coughing fit.

COOPER
Hey, let’s, uh – let’s do a quick physical, all right? You’re overdue on your T’Karr’s injections.

BRAXOK concedes this with a nod, and COOPER and BRAXOK depart to his tent.

CH’THANE looks back at GATH’ROK’s tent.

CH’THANE
(To AGENT SMITH)
Well, that could’ve gone better.

AGENT SMITH
You know what they say – Qo’nos wasn’t built in a day.

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS

MAAL
Guys, the Romulans are our allies in the war against the Dominion. 
Do we really think they’d jeopardize that just to gain control of a space station?

RAMIREZ shrugs.

RAMIREZ
Maybe a better question is, “Would the Romulans enter into an alliance with the Federation
as a pretext to gain control of a star base run by Section 31?”

The group look at one another uncomfortably.

GREELEY
Well, if that's what they're planning, then we can’t just go along with it.

TISHA
But the Commander said to follow her orders as though they came directly from him.

RAMIREZ
Yeah, but he wouldn’t have given those orders if he knew what she was planning.

MAAL
Guys, we don’t know that she’s planning anything.

TISHA
… And that’s exactly how we want to keep it.

The others exchange puzzled looks.

EXT., THE ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT, THAT NIGHT

The tribe is seated around the roaring bonfire in the center of the encampment. NAUSICAAN WOMEN are coming around and serving bowls of food to the NAUSICAAN MEN.
CH’THANE and AGENT SMITH are sitting next to one another, when they are joined by COOPER, who emerges from a nearby tent and takes a seat on the ground next to them.

COOPER
Just about everyone here has Orion tuberculosis. It’s an epidemic.

AGENT SMITH
I'm sure those cramped warships make ideal incubators for viruses 
and bacteria and God knows what else.

CH’THANE
Disease is always the second wave of invasion.

COOPER
It’s all so easily preventable with vaccines. None of these people have to be sick.

CH’THANE
People don’t trust what they don’t have access to. And without planetary medical authorities,
rural Nausicaans can go most of their lives without ever seeing a doctor.

COOPER frowns in frustration.

COOPER
General Gath’Rok is probably sick as well, and –

AGENT SMITH
And you even suggesting that would be an insult, so keep your mouth shut.

Just then, they are approached by HARPER, carrying bowls of food. Her hair has been braided into an elaborate Nausicaan style, decorated with colorful beads and animal bones throughout.

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander, I like what you’ve done with your hair.

HARPER
(Brightly)
Thank you, Sir. 

She kneels and begins to set bowls of food in front of the group before COOPER stops her.

COOPER
Harper, we can serve ourselves.

HARPER
Coop, it’s fine.

COOPER
We shouldn’t be perpetuating this patriarchal -

CH’THANE
Doctor, when we are on Orion, we will kneel before the Lieutenant Commander, 
carry her on our shoulders, and address her as ‘Mistress.’ But right here, right now,
it is expected that she prepare and serve our food. Quit making it awkward.

HARPER finishes setting bowls in front of the group and takes a seat on the ground between AGENT SMITH and COOPER.

AGENT SMITH
(Digging into his food)
Well, Lieutenant Commander, did you learn anything interesting 
from your new friends?

HARPER
(Leaning in and lowering her voice)
Gath’Rok’s granddaughter Mira disappeared while taking her goats to pasture,
and she’s been missing for three days. Multiple search parties have been sent out to find her,
but nobody knows what happened. Apparently, Gath’Rok is worried sick.

CH’THANE
I wonder if that’s what that whispered conversation was about.

AGENT SMITH
Nice work, Lieutenant Commander.

AGENT SMITH turns to COOPER.

AGENT SMITH
You see, Doctor, we never would have gotten that intel if the Lieutenant Commander
had come with us to meet the General.

CH’THANE
Gath’Rok would never admit any of that to us. He would see it as a sign of weakness.
But the men of the tribe don’t worry about losing face in private with their women,
so they speak freely in front of them. And the women speak freely with each other.

AGENT SMITH looks over at HARPER.

AGENT SMITH
In Section 31, our female agents are some of our most valuable assets
because they’re so frequently dismissed and overlooked.

AGENT SMITH turns to COOPER.

AGENT SMITH
Never underestimate the underestimated, Doctor.

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS

NGUYEN
Johnson, we can’t ignore the possibility that Dr. Vrenek might be conspiring 
with the Romulans to take the station just because we don’t want it to be true.

TISHA
Well, if she is planning to take the station, we don’t want her to suspect 
that we’re onto her. So we need to keep making her upgrades.

RAMIREZ
Yeah, but doesn’t that play right into her hands?

TISHA
Not if we build in a failure mechanism.

NGUYEN
What? 

TISHA
We need a point of failure that we can trigger whenever she makes her move…. 
If she makes her move.

GREELEY
But how are we going to know when that is?

RAMIREZ
Well, she won’t tip her hand by taking the station while the Commander’s away. 
That just gives him the opportunity to show up with all of Section 31 to retake the place. 

NGUYEN
And doing it while he’s here is too risky.

MAAL
Okay, I still don’t think Dr. Vrenek’s trying to take the station, but if she was, the time to do it
would be when the Commander and Agent Smith and the Chief of Securityare all in the docking bay.
Seal off the bay and lock the docking clamps, and they won’t be able to get in or out.
They’d be trapped.

The group look around at one another in growing concern.

EXT., THE ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT
As the meal winds down, GATH’ROK stands before the assembled tribe. He gestures for COOPER, BRAXOK and KREVNAR to join him.

GATH’ROK
(To the tribe)
Tonight, we feast in honor of Dr. Jeffrey Cooper, 
to whom my nephews owe their lives.

GATH’ROK turns to face COOPER. He presses his bony plate to COOPER’s forehead.

GATH’ROK
Welcome home, N’Chek Tahn. 

As the crowd cheers, GATH’ROK departs, and BRAXOK and KREVNAR accompany COOPER back to his place around the fire. Tribal music begins to play, and a group of NAUSICAAN WOMEN come before the assembled tribe to perform a traditional dance of celebration.

BRAXOK
(To the group)
Now this, my friends, is Nausicaan hospitality! 

A NAUSICAAN to BRAXOK’s left passes him an ornate ceremonial pipe which he takes a hearty puff from, before passing it to COOPER.

COOPER
(Waving it off)
Thanks, but I don’t –

AGENT SMITH turns on him sharply.

AGENT SMITH
That’s a ceremonial pipe, and yes, you damn well do. 
Don’t insult their customs, Doctor.

COOPER takes a cursory puff before passing it to AGENT SMITH, who takes a long drag off the pipe and then passes it to HARPER.

AGENT SMITH
(To HARPER)
This is heshal. It’s a native plant that’s –

COOPER
Highly addictive.

AGENT SMITH rolls his eyes.

AGENT SMITH
When it’s fermented and cooked down into Black Hash, then yes. That stuff will ruin your life.
And your health. Not necessarily in that order. Dried and smoked, heshal produces a mild euphoria
that lasts for a few hours. It’s a traditional Nausicaan gesture of hospitality and it’s harmless, Doctor. 

HARPER nods and takes a drag from the pipe before passing it to CH’THANE, who does likewise before passing it to his left as well.

The music changes, and the NAUSICAAN WOMEN begin performing a sensuous, writhing, hip-shaking dance. Two of them beckon to HARPER. 

HARPER looks over at AGENT SMITH, who nods, and she smiles and joins the NAUSICAAN WOMEN in their performance before the crowd.

As the dancing goes on, COOPER looks over and notices AGENT SMITH watching the performance with rapt attention. The image of HARPER dancing in front of the fire is reflected in his mirrored aviators, and he is, uncharacteristically, smiling.

COOPER frowns uneasily.

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS

NGUYEN
So what are you suggesting?

TISHA
We need to build in something that, when triggered, would shut down the entire station.
It doesn’t matter how many weapons and sensors are wired into the Science Lab
if none of them work.

NGUYEN
Well, the easiest way to do that would just be to wire the defensive array circuits 
to the Science Lab so that they overload when they’re activated.

GREELEY
Yeah, but what happens when she notices what we're doing?

TISHA
If we re-wire all of Engineering’s systems into the back-up generator, with a feedback loop
into the power core, Dr. Vrenek is less likely to notice what we’re doing. And when we fire up
the generator to trigger the shut-down, it’ll look just look like another station-wide power outage.

NGUYEN
We’d be leaving the station completely defenseless when the shutdown happens.

RAMIREZ
Yes, but only long enough for the Commander to come aboard.
We can have Security teams waiting at strategic points throughout the station.
You guys trigger the shutdown, we fill the Commander in on the situation,
and then we'll rush the Science Lab while the power’s out. Once the station is secured,
Engineering can bring the core back online.

The group looks around at each other.

EXT., ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT

As COOPER stares at AGENT SMITH, who is watching the dancing, something occurs to him.

COOPER
Agent Smith, do you suffer from ocular sensitivity?

AGENT SMITH
(Distracted)
What?

COOPER
You’re wearing sunglasses, even though it’s night –

AGENT SMITH glances over at COOPER.

AGENT SMITH.
Oh. Yes, I’ve always had sensitive corneas.

AGENT SMITH returns his attention to the dancing.

COOPER
Corneal sensitivity can be indicative of a number of conditions,
most of which are highly treatable. I can run a few quick tests to determine what’s causing – 

As he says this, COOPER reaches over and puts a hand on AGENT SMITH’s arm. 

In a lightning-fast movement, AGENT SMITH grabs COOPER’s hand and twists it. Bringing his other arm down across COOPER’s elbow and pulling it in, AGENT SMITH catches COOPER in an immobilizing hold.

AGENT SMITH
Doctor, don’t you ever put your hands on me unless I expressly invite you to.

AGENT SMITH releases COOPER with a warning look, before getting up and walking off. As COOPER is processing this interaction, the music ends, and HARPER approaches him.

HARPER
(Indicating the direction AGENT SMITH walked off in)
What was that about?

COOPER shakes his head slowly as he rubs his wrist.

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS

GREELEY
Re-wiring every system into the back-up generator and feeding it back into 
the power core is going to take a lot of time.

NGUYEN
We’re already behind schedule. It would take beta, delta and gamma shifts 
working together around the clock in order to finish Dr. Vrenek’s to-do list 
and re-wire our systems.

TISHA frowns.

TISHA
I can’t ask the other shifts to do that, I barely know those guys. 

GREELEY
(Nudging NGUYEN)
Yeah, but we know all those guys. Steve and I have filled in on
Delta and Gamma shifts lots of times.

EXT., THE ZEDGAR ENCAMPMENT

A NAUSICAAN SWORD DANCER is performing for the assembled crowd, who are milling about.

As HARPER stands watching the SWORD DANCER, she is startled by a hand on her waist. Before she can react, AGENT SMITH whispers in her ear.

AGENT SMITH
I want you close to me.

HARPER
Sir?

AGENT SMITH tilts his head toward a group of ADOLESCENT NAUSICAAN MALES a short distance away, staring at HARPER and talking in hushed tones.

AGENT SMITH
You’re the first human female that some of these young men have ever seen in person.
I want you to stay close to me. Understood, Lieutenant Commander?

HARPER nods, and AGENT SMITH wraps an arm around her, pulling her to his side and placing himself between HARPER and the group of ADOLESCENT NAUSICAANS. He looks over at the group and rests his hand on the phaser at his belt, and the group disperses.

COOPER, who has watched all of this play out from a short distance away, looks troubled.

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS

TISHA
You guys, how would we explain three shifts of engineers working
around the clock? There's no way she wouldn't notice that.

RAMIREZ
Not necessarily.

Everyone looks over at RAMIREZ.

RAMIREZ
Dr. Vrenek’s been running Security through all these Romulan training drills 
in the holodeck. Apparently, she thinks the Lieutenant Commander focuses too much 
on mediation and de-escalation training, and not enough on battle readiness.

RAMIREZ looks around at everyone.

RAMIREZ
You guys, these drills are brutal.

The others grimace sympathetically.

GREELEY
How’s that going to keep her occupied, though? It sounds like she’s already 
putting you guys through the wringer.

RAMIREZ
Because we’re about to become the most incompetent group of security officers 
she’s ever seen. 

She leans in conspiratorially.

RAMIREZ
We’ll keep her so busy whipping us into shape, you guys could march 
the Federation Day parade through Engineering, and she wouldn’t notice.

TISHA
Are you sure?

RAMIREZ
(With a nod)
It’s Security’s job to use every tool at our disposal to keep this station safe. 
And right now, that tool is weaponized incompetence.

NGUYEN notices that MAAL’s brow is furrowed.

NGUYEN
Hey, Medical, what’s on your mind?

MAAL
Well, um, I was just thinking… 
I, uh - I know a thing or two about screwing stuff up….

The group looks around the table at one another as a plan begins to take shape.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Notes:

In this episode, Cooper and Harper accompany Agent Smith and ch'Thane to Nausicaa, ostensibly so that Cooper can check on Braxok's T'Karr's syndrome. Once there, Cooper learns that Braxok and Krevnar are nephews of General Gath'Rok, also known as the Beast of So'Ghar, a warlord who united two warring ethnic factions of Nausicaans to defeat the Breen sixty years ago.

Gath'Rok is hostile to Agent Smith and ch'Thane's attempts to build goodwill, citing the Federation's non-interference in the Breen's genocide of the Nausicaan people. The group later learns that he is distraught over his missing granddaughter. While on Nausicaa, Cooper witnesses Nausicaans suffering from disease and exploitation stemming from the Orion invasion, as well as unsettling behavior on the part of Agent Smith.

Meanwhile, on the station, Tisha, Nguyen, Maal, Ramirez and Greeley become concerned about the nature of some of Dr. Vrenek's tasks, and the news that Romulan warbirds are conducting exercises near the station leads them to believe that Dr. Vrenek's to-do list may be a prelude to a Romulan take-over of Star Base 80.

Chapter 10: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 4, Episode 10 Alliances, Part 2: The Plan

Summary:

Things on Nausicaa take a turn, and back on base, the junior officers put their plan to prevent a Romulan takeover into action.

Notes:

Content warning: This episode contains references to an implied off-screen sexual assault. If this would be triggering to you, please consider carefully whether or not you wish to read it. A brief synopsis is provided in the end notes for those who wish to skip this episode while keeping up with the plot.

Above all, protect yourself and your mental health. We're all in this together, friends.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80  Season 4, Episode 10 Alliances, Part 2: The Plan


EXT., THE ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT, NIGHT

The fire is dying down, and everyone is retiring to their tents. COOPER approaches HARPER, who looks woozy, and is rubbing her temples.

COOPER
Hey, are you okay?

HARPER
Yeah, I think the heshal went to my head. I didn’t think I smoked very much, but –

HARPER shakes her head, as if to clear it, and at that moment, they are approached by AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE.

CH’THANE
(Indicating two nearby two-man tents)
Time to turn in, if we’re going leave first thing in the morning.

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander, you’re bunking with me.

COOPER
Now, hold on –

AGENT SMITH
(Sharply)
Doctor, as senior agent, I give the orders around here. 

AGENT SMITH holds a tent flap open and gestures courteously.

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander?

COOPER watches unhappily as HARPER crawls in the tent, and AGENT SMITH crawls in after her.

CH’THANE holds the other tent flap open, and makes the same gesture, in mock courteousness.

CH’THANE
Doctor? 

INT., CH’THANE’S TENT

COOPER stews in his sleeping bag as CH’THANE removes his fatigue jacket and numerous weapons holsters and their attendant weapons, before crawling into the sleeping bag next to him. 

CH’THANE looks over at COOPER.

CH’THANE
What’s got you in a tizzy?

COOPER
Sir, I don’t like Agent Smith. I’m not comfortable around him and frankly, 
I don’t trust him.

CH’THANE
(Unconcerned)
Smith gives everyone the creeps.
Section 31 isn’t known for attracting healthy, well-adjusted individuals, Doctor.

COOPER
Do you trust him?

CH’THANE 
I trust Agent Smith to be Agent Smith. 

COOPER
(Sarcastically
Well, that's reassuring 

CH’THANE 
Doctor, you can't trust anyone to do what you want them to do or
be who you want them to be. All you can do is trust them to be who they are,
and hope that you’ve accurately assessed their character. 

COOPER
I don’t like the way he looks at Harper. 

CH’THANE waves this off.

CH’THANE
Smith is many things, but I’ve never known him to be predatory towards female agents.

COOPER 
Yes, but Harper’s intoxicated, and that leads her to make some… 
questionable choices.

INT., AGENT SMITH’S TENT

HARPER crawls into her sleeping bag as AGENT SMITH removes multiple weapons holsters and weapons, including a very large knife, which he slips beneath his pillow.

AGENT SMITH
How do you like Nausicaa, Lieutenant Commander?

HARPER
It’s beautiful. And the culture is so rich, and the people - once you start talking to them – you know,
they’re so warm and family-oriented. I wish more people knew how vibrant Nausicaa really is.

AGENT SMITH
You know, Starfleet’s got nothing on Section 31 when it comes to strange new worlds.

AGENT SMITH turns his back to HARPER and begins removing his boots.

AGENT SMITH
We could use an agent like you in the field –
someone who isn’t dazzled by all the cloak-and-dagger nonsense.
Someone who understands that intelligence work is actually
about building and cultivating relationships.

AGENT SMITH removes his fatigue jacket, revealing a surprisingly well-muscled physique.

AGENT SMITH
Speaking of relationships - and maybe this is just the heshal talking, 
Lieutenant Commander - but when I first heard about your engagement, 
I have to admit that I –

AGENT SMITH stops abruptly as a strange sound emanates from behind him. 

Reaching for the knife under his pillow, he swiftly turns, knife in hand, only to see HARPER passed out in her sleeping bag, snoring.

With a flicker of a smile, AGENT SMITH replaces the knife under his pillow, crawls into his sleeping bag, turns on his side, and removes his aviators.

INT., ENGINEERING, OH-DARK THIRTY

GAMMA SHIFT is hard at work when NGUYEN, TISHA and GREELEY enter, followed shortly by DELTA SHIFT and BETA SHIFT ENGINEERS filing in. The GANMA SHIFT ENGINEERS stop work.

GAMMA SHIFT ENGINEER
Hey, Steve – er, Chief – what’s going on?

INT., SECURITY

DELTA, GAMMA, and BETA SHIFT SECURITY OFFICERS are gathered around LIEUTENANT RAMIREZ, at the center of the room.

RAMIREZ
So, here’s the thing - 

INT., ENGINEERING

All three shifts are packed in tightly, listening to NGUYEN and TISHA.

NGUYEN
We’re not sure, but we may have uncovered a plot against the station 
by the Romulans.

INT., SECURITY

RAMIREZ
And the key to securing this station lies with Engineering.

INT., ENGINEERING

TISHA
It's going to take all of us working together –

INT., SECURITY

RAMIREZ
Those guys are going to be working around the clock, all three shifts –

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN
And we’re not just asking you to bust your asses to improve this station - 
we’re asking you to sabotage it.

Everyone is silent in Engineering as they take this in.

INT., SECURITY

RAMIREZ
Those guys in Engineering are going to be taking a huge risk –

INT., ENGINEERING

TISHA
We’re asking a lot –

INT., SECURITY

RAMIREZ
And they can’t do this unless Security has their back.

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN
But most importantly, we’re asking you to trust us. 

INT., SECURITY

RAMIREZ
It’s our job to keep this station safe. 

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN
Because we’re all in this together - Engineering. Security. 

INT., SECURITY

RAMIREZ
Medical. 

INT., SICKBAY

The door chimes and the lights come up as MAAL enters. The EMH appears.

EMH
Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

INT., ENGINEERING

TISHA
But we can do this.

INT., SECURITY

RAMIREZ
We have to do this.

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN
So we need to know –

INT., SECURITY

RAMIREZ
Are you guys in? 

INT., ENGINEERING

The room is silent as everyone contemplates this. 

INT., SECURITY

The room is silent as everyone contemplates this.

INT., ENGINEERING

The GAMMA SHIFT ENGINEER looks around at everyone.

GAMMA SHIFT ENGINEER
I’m in. 

INT., SECURITY

ENSIGN BOSWELL, a male Security officer in his early twenties, breaks the silence.

BOSWELL
I’m in.

INT., ENGINEERING

DELTA SHIFT ENGINEER
(Looking around at the others)
Delta Shift is in.

The other DELTA SHIFT ENGINEERS nod.

INT., SECURITY

GAMMA SHIFT SECURITY OFFICER
Gamma Shift is in.

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN
All right, you guys, then let’s go out there –

INT., SECURITY

RAMIREZ
And screw things up! 

INT., ENGINEERING

As the ENGINEERS across all three shifts get to work, many of them acknowledge NGUYEN and TISHA with nods and fist bumps. There is a palpable sense of excitement in the air

INT., SECURITY

The SECURITY OFFICERS shake hands with their counterparts across shifts. There is a palpable sense of excitement in the air.

EXT., NAUSICAA, THE NEXT MORNING

The sun is shining brightly as AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE, and COOPER pack their tents and sleeping bags in preparation to leave.

After the sound of heaving and retching, HARPER emerges from the privacy of some nearby bushes, wiping her mouth.

AGENT SMITH
Feeling better?

HARPER
(Shaking her head)
The heshal really did a number on me.

CH’THANE
Catches everyone off-guard the first time.

BRAXOK approaches the group.

BRAXOK
I am sorry to see you leave without what you hoped for.

COOPER
Braxok, I came here to check on you, and I did. As far as I’m concerned, 
(with a look back at AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE) this trip was a success. 
Now, I’ve left you a year's supply of injections. You’ll need to –

COOPER is interrupted by the cry of a nearby NAUSICAAN WOMAN.

NAUSICAAN WOMAN
They’ve found Mira!

Two NAUSICAAN SCOUTS enter the encampment carrying an unconscious MIRA, and the tribe hastily gathers around them. 

GATH'ROK emerges from his tent and the crowd parts for him as he makes his way to MIRA. Taking in her condition with grave concern, he turns to the crowd.

GATH'ROK
Where is the doctor?

COOPER, field kit already in hand, makes his way through the crowd. Reaching MIRA, he scans her with his tricorder and looks up at GATH'ROK.

COOPER
She’s got massive internal bleeding. I need to get her into surgery now.

GATH'ROK nods, and the NAUSICAAN SCOUTS take MIRA to the closest tent, with COOPER following.

AGENT SMITH turns to CH’THANE and HARPER.

AGENT SMITH
Looks like we’re not leaving just yet.

INT., ENGINEERING

The place is a hive of activity as all three shifts work together on their tasks. NGUYEN and TISHA stand in the center, coordinating the efforts, when an  ENGINEER approaches.

ENGINEER
We've tuned all the EPS conduits to the new shield harmonics frequency.

NGUYEN
Good. Go help Zoxx and Murphy recalibrate the deflector array and remember – 
we’ve got to wire it into the backup generator.

The ENGINEER nods and exits.

NGUYEN
(To TISHA)
How are we doing?

TISHA
Thirty-five percent complete. 

She taps her badge. 

TISHA
Security, do you have eyes on the target? 

INT., STATION HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE HOLODECK

RAMIREZ looks at her tricorder and taps her badge.

RAMIREZ
Target is inbound. 

She nods at SECURITY OFFICERS 1 and 2 standing nearby, and they nod back.

DR. VRENEK rounds the corner.

VRENEK
Why are you all not in the holodeck?

RAMIREZ
We’re waiting on Gorkk. 

At that moment, ENSIGN GORKK, a chubby male Bolian security officer who appears to be in his early twenties, comes jogging around the corner.

GORKK
Sorry I’m late! I changed my alarm settings and –

GORKK collides with SECURITY OFFICER 1, who falls into SECURITY OFFICER 2. The three of them go down in a pile, and SECURITY OFFICER 2 sits up and grabs her ankle.

SECURITY OFFICER 2
Ow, I hurt my ankle!

VRENEK frowns and taps her badge.

VRENEK
Medical, we have an injury onsite at the holodeck.

MAAL
(Over VRENEK’s comm badge)
Okay, I’ll be right there… uh… I just have to find my tricorder….

Everyone is silent as the sound of muffled shuffling is broadcast through VRENEK’s comm badge.

MAAL
… It’s here somewhere…. 

EXT., THE ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT

GATH’ROK and the other NAUSICAANS wait anxiously around the tent where COOPER is operating on MIRA. AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE and HARPER wait a short distance away.

After a while, COOPER emerges. His face is grim as he removes his mask.

COOPER
(To GATH'ROK)
Mira is going to live. 

The crowd murmurs with relief and excitement.

COOPER
(Addressing the crowd)
I’d ask everyone to give her plenty of time to rest and recover. 
She’s going to need it.

As the assembled NAUSICAANS begin to disperse, GATH’ROK puts a hand on COOPER’s shoulder.

GATH’ROK
I sense there is something you are not telling me. 

INT., GATH’ROK’S TENT. 

COOPER stands before GATH’ROK and two NAUSICAAN WARRIORS, while AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE and HARPER stand discretely by the tent’s entrance.

GATH’ROK
You said that Mira will live. 

COOPER nods.

COOPER
She will. 

GATH’ROK
… But?

COOPER
… But there's a good chance she may never have children.

A look of wrath crosses GATH’ROK's face, and he turns away and paces furiously, before turning back to COOPER.

GATH’ROK
Did she say who did this?

COOPER
She didn’t tell me much, but… she did say that she was abducted
by an Orion patrol ship.

GATH’ROK roars with rage. He turns to the two NAUSICAAN WARRIORS.

GATH’ROK
Find them and bring them to me!

The NAUSICAAN WARRIORS look at each other. 

NAUSICAAN WARRIOR 1
(Hesitantly)
Honored Elder, there are many Orion patrol ships –

AGENT SMITH
Actually, we may be able to help with that.

INT., ENGINEERING 

TISHA’S comm badge sounds.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
The carbon filtration units have all been replaced.

TISHA taps her comm badge.

TISHA
Did you re-wire them into the backup generator?

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
You bet, Boss Lady!

TISHA
Go help the guys on the sensor array, and don't call me 'Boss Lady.'

She taps her comm badge closed and turns to NGUYEN.

TISHA
For real, does Delta Shift actually call me that?

NGUYEN
I don't know, I think it commands respect: "Boss Lady."

TISHA rolls her eyes.

INT., GATH’ROK’S TENT

AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE and HARPER now stand with COOPER before GATH’ROK.

AGENT SMITH
Our ship is in a low orbit overhead –

GATH’ROK looks at him sharply, but after a moment, he nods for AGENT SMITH to continue.

AGENT SMITH
And the telemetry and signature of every nearby ship since we arrived 
is stored in memory.

CH’THANE
Once we filter for size and signature, we can locate and
track any Orion patrol ships in the vicinity.

INT., ENGINEERING 

NGUYEN’s comm badge sounds.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
The new forcefield emitters have been installed and wired into the backup generator.

NGUYEN taps his badge.

NGUYEN
Good job. Head over to the defensive weapons array and give those guys 
all the help they need.

NGUYEN turns to TISHA.

NGUYEN
Where does that put us?

TISHA
(Consulting her padd)
Sixty-five percent complete.

NGUYEN
I wonder how Security is holding up.

INT., THE HOLODECK

Drones whiz overhead, firing lasers at the SECURITY PERSONNEL who are dodging and scrambling below. DR. VRENEK stands by, grimly taking in Security’s poor performance.

VRENEK
The key to this exercise is focusing your efforts -

At that moment, two SECURITY OFFICERS aiming their phasers at the same drone collide with one another. They fall to the floor, and RAMIREZ trips over them, landing at VRENEK’s feet.

RAMIREZ looks up to see VRENEK scowling at her.

EXT., THE ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT

GATH’ROK, AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE, COOPER, and two NAUSICAAN WARRIORS are gathered in the center of the encampment as the decloaked Section 31 runabout hovers nearby. 

After a moment, HARPER beams in, holding a padd.

HARPER
There are two Orion patrol ships a few miles from here.
Data from their flight patterns suggests that they’re probably assigned to this area.

CH’THANE
(To GATH’ROK)
Sounds like one of those ships is likely your culprit.

GATH’ROK nods.

NAUSICAAN WARRIOR 1
What now, Honored Elder? 

GATH’ROK
We wait until their patrol routes bring them within range.

NAUSICAAN WARRIOR 1
But we do not know when that will be.

AGENT SMITH
We may be able to help with that as well.

GATH’ROK tilts his head to put AGENT SMITH in sight of his good eye.

AGENT SMITH
We can track those patrol ships and lay in a course 
that would catch their attention and lead them straight back here.

GATH’ROK nods. He turns to NAUSICAAN WARRIOR 1.

GATH’ROK
Gather our warriors to assemble.

As GATH’ROK heads to his tent and NAUSICAAN WARRIORS 1 and 2 depart to rally the others, COOPER turns to AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE.

COOPER
Sirs, regardless of how we may feel about the Orion invasion, taking sides in
an interplanetary conflict is a violation of Federation law. And the prime directive.

AGENT SMITH
And I wouldn’t dream of taking sides, Doctor….
But there’s nothing to stop me from taking a Sunday drive with my best girl.

AGENT SMITH looks over at HARPER.

AGENT SMITH
What do you say, Lieutenant Commander?

EXT., SPACE

The Section 31 runabout soars through Nausicaan space.

INT., SECTION 31 RUNABOUT 

AGENT SMITH and HARPER sit at the helm.

HARPER
Orion patrol ship coming up at twelve o’clock.

AGENT SMITH
Wait until we’re a thousand kilometers out and drop the cloak.

HARPER
Aye-aye, Sir.

EXT., NAUSICAAN SPACE

As an Orion patrol ship travels on its route, the runabout decloaks and soars by. The Orion patrol ship turns and gives chase.

INT., SECTION 31 RUNABOUT

HARPER checks a panel on the console.

HARPER
Looks like our fish is on the hook. 

The runabout is rocked by fire from the Orion ship and a VOICE comes over comms. 

VOICE
Unmarked vessel, surrender and prepare to be boarded.

AGENT SMITH
How are our shields, Lieutenant Commander?

HARPER
Holding steady, Sir.

AGENT SMITH
Excellent. Let’s go get our other fish. 

EXT., SPACE

The Section 31 runabout banks away, with the Orion patrol ship close behind.

INT., ENGINEERING

The place is buzzing as ENGINEERS from all three shifts work together on their assigned tasks.

TISHA’s comm badge sounds.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
Long-distance sensor array re-calibrated and wired into the generator.

TISHA
(Tapping her comm badge)
Nice work. Head over to the defensive weapons array and see if those guys
 need a hand. If not, go help Zoxx, Vedd, and Nesbitt on the main computer.

She taps her comm badge closed.

NGUYEN
We’re at seventy-two percent completion, and still no sign of Dr. Vrenek.

TISHA
We’re going to owe Security big after this.

INT., THE HOLODECK

VRENEK stands by, arms crossed and fuming, as holographic BORG DRONES walk the floor, sending hapless SECURITY OFFICERS scattering before them.

VRENEK
The Borg collective function as one entity. Station Security should as well! 

A screaming SECURITY OFFICER runs toward DR. VRENEK, pursued by a BORG DRONE.

BORG DRONE
Resistance is futile.

VRENEK
Lieutenant Bailey, pull yourself together!

But the SECURITY OFFICER runs straight to the holodeck door and pounds on it.

SECURITY OFFICER
Let me out! Let me out!

The pursuing BORG drone lumbers toward the SECURITY OFFICER, who continues pounding on the door and sobbing.

BORG DRONE
Prepare to be assimilated.

The SECURITY OFFICER turns in horror as the BORG DRONE bears down on him. Dropping to the floor, he curls into a ball and covers his head as the looming BORG DRONE reaches for him, and then vanishes.

The SECURITY OFFICER shakily uncovers his head and looks up to see VRENEK standing over him.

VRENEK
Lieutenant, were you under the impression that the safety protocols 
had been disengaged?

SECURITY OFFICER
… maybe? 

EXT., NAUSICAAN SPACE

The Section 31 runabout, taking fire from two pursuing Orion patrol ships, heads toward the Nausicaan encampment

INT., THE RUNABOUT

AGENT SMITH taps a panel.

AGENT SMITH
Incoming with two green bogeys hot on our heels.

GATH’ROK’s voice comes over comms.

GATH’ROK
We await your return.

EXT., NAUSICAAN SPACE

The runabout flies low over the encampment. As soon as it passes, eight Nausicaan ships decloak and surround the pursuing Orion patrol ships.

INT., ORION PATROL SHIP

Two ORION PATROLMEN watch as an image of GATH’ROK in a captain’s chair appears on their viewscreen.

GATH’ROK
Orion ships… surrender and prepare to be boarded.

INT., SECTION 31 RUNABOUT

AGENT SMITH turns to HARPER.

AGENT SMITH
Nice work, Lieutenant Commander. Bring us about. 

HARPER
Thank you, Sir. I’ll put us in orbit and we can beam down –

AGENT SMITH
Actually, why don’t you wait here with the ship? I’d like to be ready to depart 
as soon as we’re wrapped up down there.

HARPER
Of course, Sir. 

AGENT SMITH nods and heads to the teleporter pad.

EXT., ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT

GATH’ROK, MIRA, COOPER and CH’THANE stand waiting as AGENT SMITH beams down.

NAUSICAAN WARRIORS bring the ORION PATROLMEN from both ships in front of MIRA. She points at the pair on the left, and GATH’ROK nods.

The NAUSICAAN WARRIORS holding the pair of ORION PATROLMEN on the right, draw their phasers and shoot them. 

The NAUSICAAN WARRIORS holding the pair of ORION PATROLMEN on the left, lead them away.

COOPER looks at CH’THANE in shock.

COOPER
But those men were innocent. And they just... murdered them!

CH’THANE
Doctor, the dead are the lucky ones.
You don’t want to know what they’re going to do to the perpetrators.

Before COOPER can process this disturbing thought, GATH’ROK draws a large knife from his belt, and advances on COOPER. As COOPER shrinks back, GATH’ROK raises his knife, and with a decisive gesture, he slashes COOPER’s forehead, leaving a long, diagonal gash.

Turning the blade on himself, GATH’ROK draws it across his own forehead, just beneath his bony plate, drawing a trickle of blood. Sheathing his blade, GATH’ROK grabs the back of COOPER’s head and presses his bony plate into COOPER’s bleeding forehead. He holds COOPER there for a long moment before releasing him.

GATH’ROK
I owe you my granddaughter’s life, as well as those of my nephews. From now on, 
you are N’Chek Goq, son whom I have chosen. ZedGhar blood runs in your veins, 
and wherever there are ZedGhar, you are home. 

GATH’ROK turns to AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE.

GATH’ROK
(Gesturing toward his tent)
Come. Let us talk.

COOPER starts to follow CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH to GATH'ROK's tent, but AGENT SMITH stops him.

AGENT SMITH
Wait here, Doctor.

COOPER watches uneasily as GATH’ROK, AGENT SMITH, and CH’THANE enter GATH’ROK’s tent.

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN is coordinating assignments, while TISHA stands working at a panel on the power core.

NGUYEN’s comm badge sounds.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
Finished with the defensive array.

NGUYEN
(Tapping his comm badge)
Good. Head back to Engineering, we’ve still got to loop the backup generator into the power core.

NGUYEN looks over at TISHA.

NGUYEN
How’s it coming, Johnson? 

TISHA
I think we’re going to make it.

INT., HOLODECK

DR. VRENEK rubs her temples as SECURITY OFFICERS duck and dodge holographic KLINGON WARRIORS.

With a loud war cry, a KLINGON WARRIOR charges a female SECURITY OFFICER, who cowers helplessly.

VRENEK
Ensign Dunbar, you must work together with your fellow officers –

Looking around frantically, the SECURITY OFFICER spots ENSIGN GORKK fleeing a SECOND KLINGON WARRIOR. Thinking fast, the SECURITY OFFICER grabs ENSIGN GORKK by the arm and hurls him into the KLINGON WARRIOR bearing down on her. Both GORKK and the KLINGON WARRIOR topple to the floor.

VRENEK
Not like that! 

VRENEK rubs the bridge of her nose. 

VRENEK
(Quietly furious)
Computer, end simulation!

The KLINGON WARRIORS vanish, and the SECURITY OFFICERS all stop and look at DR. VRENEK.

VRENEK
(To the SECURITY OFFICERS)
Never have I seen such poor unit cohesion and tactical awareness. 
It is clear that these drills are pointless, even at the most remedial level. 

In the face of DR. VRENEK’s tightly controlled anger, the SECURITY OFFICERS surreptitiously exchange uncertain looks.

VRENEK
We have wasted enough time here. I am overdue in Engineering.

VRENEK turns to leave.

RAMIREZ
Wait!

VRENEK turns and looks back.

RAMIREZ
I mean… don’t you think, uh, since we’re struggling so much… 
that, uh, that maybe we need… (Wincing at the prospect) more drills?

VRENEK
We have spent far too much time on these exercises as it is. 
You will all run laps until I return.

The SECURITY OFFICERS look at each other anxiously.

VRENEK
… What are you waiting for?!

ENSIGN BOSWELL and a couple of SECURITY OFFICERS start running laps.

VRENEK
Computer, arch. 

The holodeck entrance appears, and the door slides open. 

The SECURITY OFFICERS exchange panicked looks, and just as VRENEK is about to step through the entryway, ENSIGN BOSWELL is felled by a phaser blast. 

VRENEK whirls around to see ENSIGN GORKK standing there, phaser in hand. All eyes turn to GORKK.

GORKK
… Sorry… I thought he was a Klingon.

VRENEK seethes as she taps her comm badge. 

VRENEK
Medical, we have a stunned crewman in the holodeck. Respond.

MAAL
(Over VRENEK’s comm badge)
Uh… I can’t… exactly….

VRENEK
Why not?!

MAAL
‘Cause I think I maybe kinda accidentally just amputated one of my toes.

VRENEK closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she responds.

VRENEK
(Struggling to contain her fury)
Have the EMH reattach it.

MAAL
I can’t.

VRENEK
And why is that, Ensign? 

MAAL
He's not talking to me.

VRENEK fumes.

EXT., THE ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT

GATH’ROK, AGENT SMITH, and CH’THANE emerge from GATH’ROK’s tent. GATH’ROK turns to NAUSICAAN WARRIOR 1. 

GATH’ROK
Gather the tribe, that I may address them.

As NAUSICAAN WARRIOR 1 exits, AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE approach COOPER.

AGENT SMITH
We’ve got good news, Doctor.

COOPER
(Suspiciously)
And what’s that?

AGENT SMITH
You’re going to be heading up a medical aid mission
to vaccinate rural Nausicaans against Orion tuberculosis.

CH’THANE
Gath’Rok has agreed to summon the other tribes to receive vaccinations
at the request of the Beast of So’Ghar.

AGENT SMITH
The General has even agreed to be vaccinated himself, to demonstrate his support.

COOPER
Why are you doing this?

AGENT SMITH
As a demonstration of Section 31’s goodwill. 
And for the well-being of the Nausicaan people, of course.

CH’THANE
Section 31 will coordinate and fund the mission. 
But Gath’Rok’s support and your status as his N’Chek Goq are crucial to 
convincing the Nausicaan people that these vaccines are beneficial to them.

COOPER is silent.

AGENT SMITH
Come now, Doctor, you yourself said that Orion tuberculosis was an epidemic here. 
I would think that you’d be pleased.

COOPER is quiet as he mulls this over. Finally, he turns to AGENT SMITH.

COOPER
… As a physician, I am ethically bound to do everything I can to help these people…. 
And I can’t really see how this could be abused…. So yes… 
I will lead your medical aid mission.

AGENT SMITH
Remember what I told you, Doctor – regardless of how you feel about Section 31,
we’re all on the same side here.

COOPER nods.

COOPER
(To AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE)
Thank you. It’s a very good thing you’re doing.

AGENT SMITH nods and CH’THANE claps COOPER on the shoulder, but COOPER remains uneasy.

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN and TISHA are both standing at an open panel by the power core, working furiously.

NGUYEN
We’re so close to finishing –

TISHA nods.

TISHA
Just a little longer….

INT., HOLODECK

VRENEK rolls her eyes and looks at the stunned ENSIGN BOSWELL at her feet. She taps her comm badge.

VRENEK
Medical, it is obvious that you are in no condition to assist anyone.
Ensign Boswell will recover on his own.I suggest that for the safety of everyone
aboard this station, you remain in Sickbay. Or better yet, in your quarters.

VRENEK taps her comm badge closed and looks at the assembly of SECURITY OFFICERS.

VRENEK
Lieutenant Ramirez, you will attend to Ensign Boswell until he recovers. 
The rest of you, run laps. I am overdue in Engineering.

RAMIREZ
But wait –

VRENEK, however, does not heed this call. She exits through the holodeck arch, and the doors slide closed behind her.

RAMIREZ taps her comm badge. 

RAMIREZ
Engineering, target is incoming.

INT., ENGINEERING 

TISHA and NGUYEN exchange looks of dread.

EXT., ZEDGHAR ENCAMPMENT

The bonfire has been rekindled into a roaring blaze, and GATH’ROK stands in front of it with AGENT SMITH and CH’THANE at his side. COOPER stands with BRAXOK and KREVNAR in the crowd of assembled NAUSICAANS.

GATH’ROK
(Addressing the assembled crowd)
For too long, we have tolerated the Orion presence on Nausicaa.

The crowd murmurs in agreement.

GATH’ROK
They steal our resources.

The crowd’s agreement grows louder.

GATH’ROK
They ravage our women.

The crowd shouts in response.

GATH’ROK
They enslave us for their own ends!

The crowd shouts louder.

GATH’ROK
But no more! For now, we enter the dawn of a new era. An era of strength!

The crowd shouts wildly.

GATH’ROK
An era of justice!

The crowd is now fervant.

GATH’ROK
With our allies in the Federation, we will forge a new nation! A new Nausicaa! 
A Nausicaa for Nausicaans!

The crowd roars.

A NAUSICAAN WARRIOR begins a staccato chant.

NAUSICAAN WARRIOR
Nau-si-caa for Nau-si-caans!
Nau-si-caa for Nau-si-caans!

This chant spreads rapidly throughout the crowd, until the entire assembly chants with one voice.

CROWD
Nau-si-caa for Nau-si-caans!
Nau-si-caa for Nau-si-caans!
Nau-si-caa for Nau-si-caans!

COOPER looks over at BRAXOK and KREVNAR, who are chanting as well. He looks around at the crowd, chanting in unison, and then back at GATH’ROK, CH’THANE, and AGENT SMITH.
The chanting crowd is reflected in AGENT SMITH’s mirrored aviators, and he is smiling.

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN taps his comm badge closed. TISHA continues working furiously at the open panel on the power core.

NGUYEN
(To TISHA)
She's headed this way. How close are we?

TISHA
I just need a little more time….

NGUYEN
Keep working. I’ll stall Dr. Vrenek. 

The door chimes, and DR. VRENEK enters. As she looks around at the unusually high level of traffic in Engineering, NGUYEN approaches her.

NGUYEN
Oh, hey, Dr. Vrenek - we were starting to think you forgot about us.

VRENEK
I assure you, I have not.

She starts to move toward the power core where TISHA is working, and NGUYEN steps in her way. 

NGUYEN
So hey, um, Johnson and I were wondering… uh –

VRENEK
Yes, where is Lieutenant Junior Grade Johnson?

NGUYEN
Oh, uh, I think she’s, um, still working on some stuff? 

VRENEK
You think she is?

NGUYEN
(With a glance back at TISHA, who is furiously working at the power core.)
Uh… yeah, I’m pretty sure.

VRENEK
I see…. I do not know why I am surprised. After my experience with Security, 
it is apparent that this station is utterly lacking in cohesion and communication.

NGUYEN
Well, uh, I mean, usually, um –

VRENEK
I find it most concerning. Were this station under Romulan jurisdiction, 
you would all be dealt with… severely.

NGUYEN swallows.

NGUYEN
… Any particular reason you bring that up?

At the power core, TISHA works furiously, while keeping one eye on VRENEK and NGUYEN.

VRENEK
Suffice it to say, this state of affairs will not continue for long. Now as to -

Three ENGINEERS hurriedly pass by, catching VRENEK’s attention.

VRENEK
Are those not personnel from Gamma Shift?

NGUYEN
Uh -

VRENEK looks around again, and then back at NGUYEN.

VRENEK
Lieutenant, why are there so many people in Engineering?

NGUYEN
Uh… well….

At the power core, TISHA finishes making the last adjustments and closes the panel.

TISHA
(Approaching VRENEK and NGUYEN)
Oh, um, we, uh - we called in some extra people to help finish your improvements on time.

VRENEK looks around again and then looks sharply back at NGUYEN and TISHA.

VRENEK
The improvements to the station are complete?

NGUYEN and TISHA
(Simultaneously)
Yes, Sir.

VRENEK
Well, then… perhaps not everyone on this station is a lost cause after all.

NUGYEN and TISHA breathe a sigh of relief.

VRENEK
Lieutenant Junior Grade Johnson, is there an issue with the power core?

TISHA
(Alarmed)
What?

VRENEK
You were working at the power core. Is there a problem?

NGUYEN and TISHA exchange nervous glances.

TISHA
Oh, um… no. We were just -

NGUYEN
We were just making sure that it was calibrated to handle all the new upgrades. 

NGUYEN and TISHA hold their breath as VRENEK considers this.

VRENEK
A sensible precaution. Now, if you will excuse me, I must return to the Lab. 
The Commander will arrive shortly.

With that, VRENEK exits Engineering.

Once the doors slide shut behind her, and NGUYEN taps his comm badge.

NGUYEN
Security, the target’s headed to home base.

INT., THE HOLODECK

RAMIRE
Roger that, Engineering.

She looks around at the other SECURITY OFFICERS and taps her comm badge.

RAMIREZ
All units into position.

EXT., SPACE

The Section 31 runabout hurtles through space at warp speed, headed back to base.

INT., THE RUNABOUT

CH’THANE and COOPER are at the helm, HARPER is at comms, and AGENT SMITH is at the weapons station.

CH’THANE
We’re making good time.

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander, contact the station and let them know we’ll be there shortly.

INT., STATION HALLWAY OUTSIDE OF DOCKING BAY THREE

NGUYEN, TISHA, and MAAL wait outside the docking bay, where they are joined by RAMIREZ and a squad of SECURITY OFFICERS in full riot gear, complete with shields.

RAMIREZ's comm badge sounds.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
Delta and Gamma squads in place.

NGUYEN and TISHA nod, and TISHA taps her comm badge.

TISHA
Okay, Greeley, on Nguyen’s signal, bring the backup generator online and overload the core. 

INT., ENGINEERING

GREELEY is standing next to a circuit breaker. They tap their comm badge.

GREELEY
Standing by.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

RAMIREZ
(To the SECURITY OFFICERS)
We’re going to have a very tight time frame from the core shutdownuntil Dr. Vrenek realizes
what’s going on, so we need to be ready to move once the Commander sets foot over the threshold.

SECURITY OFFICERS
(In unison)
Yes, Sir. 

NGUYEN
Do we have eyes on the target? 

RAMIREZ taps her badge.

RAMIREZ
Delta squad, report?

INT., STATION HALLWAY 

A phalanx of SECURITY OFFICERS with a battering ram wait around the corner from the Science Lab. The DELTA SHIFT SECURITY OFFICER taps his badge.

DELTA SHIFT SECURITY OFFICER
Target is stationary in the lab, Beta Squad.

INT., STATION HALLWAY OUTSIDE OF DOCKING BAY THREE

STATION COMPUTER
Section 31 vessel incoming.

NGUYEN, TISHA and RAMIREZ all nod at each other.

EXT., SPACE

The Section 31 runabout approaches the station.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

The door to the Science Lab slides open, and VRENEK exits and strides purposefully down the hall.

Watching from around the corner, the LEAD DELTA SHIFT SECURITY OFFICER taps his badge.

DELTA SHIFT SECURITY OFFICER
All units, target has left the lab.

INT., STATION HALLWAY OUTSIDE DOCKING BAY THREE

RAMIREZ taps her comm badge. 

RAMIREZ
Roger that, Delta Squad.

Everyone looks at each other in dismay.

INT., SECTION 31 RUNABOUT

CH’THANE touches a panel.

CH’THANE
Bringing us in for docking.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

RAMIREZ's comm badge sounds again.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
Gamma Squad reporting - target appears to be headed to Docking Bay Three.

NGUYEN
Guys, she’s onto us.

TISHA
What do we do? 

INT., STATION RUNABOUT

COOPER touches a panel.

COOPER
Initiating docking sequence.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

RAMIREZ taps her comm badge.

RAMIREZ
Delta and Gamma squads, hold your position, but be ready to move when you get 
the signal. Beta Squad will protect the senior officers at all costs.

MAAL
How are we going to explain – ?

RAMIREZ
If Dr. Vrenek’s coming here to stop us, we may not have to.

INT., RUNABOUT

SHIP'S COMPUTER
Docking complete.

AGENT SMITH, CH’THANE, HARPER and COOPER leave their seats and prepare to file off the ship.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

DR. VRENEK strides toward the Docking Bay. Her expression is dark.

INT., DOCKING BAY 

The docking aperture opens.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

NGUYEN stands in the open Docking Bay door, his hand hovering over his comm badge.

INT., STATION HALLWAY 

DR. VRENEK continues toward the Docking Bay.

INT., DOCKING BAY

HARPER emerges from ship, followed by COOPER.

NGUYEN
(To himself)
Not yet… 

INT., STATION HALLWAY

Rounding a corner, DR. VRENEK continues toward the Docking Bay.

INT., DOCKING BAY 

AGENT SMITH emerges from the ship.

NGUYEN
Almost…

INT., STATION HALLWAY

DR. VRENEK continues toward the Docking Bay.

INT., DOCKING BAY 

CH’THANE emerges from the ship, and NGUYEN taps his comm badge.

NGUYEN
Greeley, now!

CH'THANE turns to HARPER.

CH’THANE
You know, it’s good to see this place again.

INT., ENGINEERING

GREELEY throws the breaker switch. The power core lights up with the intensity of a thousand suns, and there is a great crackling before it goes out, plunging the entire station into darkness.

INT., DOCKING BAY

CH’THANE
(Wearily)
Of course.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

CH’THANE, AGENT SMITH, COOPER and HARPER step into the darkened hallway to find themselves met with NGUYEN, TISHA, MAAL, and the BETA SHIFT SECURITY TEAM in full riot gear.

CH’THANE
What the hell is going on?! 

At that moment, DR. VRENEK turns the corner and comes into view. Spotting her at the end of the hallway, RAMIREZ taps her comm badge.

RAMIREZ
Defensive position alpha.

The SECURITY OFFICERS immediately surround CH’THANE, AGENT SMITH, COOPER and HARPER, kneel, and raise their riot shields.

RAMIREZ nods at ENSIGN GORKK, and he breaks off from the group, running full tilt at VRENEK and screaming at the top of his lungs in a Bolian’s best imitation of a Klingon battle cry.

Seeing him coming, VRENEK’s eyes narrow.

Bearing down on her, GORKK launches himself into a flying tackle.

As he hurtles toward VRENEK, she crouches and grabs GORKK at the torso, flipping him and slamming him to the floor. She then stands and strides toward CH’THANE, AGENT SMITH, HARPER and COOPER, who are still shielded by a phalanx of SECURITY OFFICERS.

TISHA
(To CH’THANE, urgently)
Sir, you should know that Dr. Vrenek had us wire the defensive array into the Science Lab and - 

CH’THANE
Of course she did. Who do you think gave the order?

TISHA, NGUYEN, MAAL and RAMIREZ all look at each other.

NGUYEN
… What?

CH’THANE
The Science Lab is at the center of the station, making it the most shielded location on base.
We’re reconfiguring it so that it can serve as an emergency command center if necessary. 

NGUYEN
Oh.

NGUYEN, TISHA, MAAL and RAMIREZ all exchange worried glances, and the SECURITY OFFICERS shift uncomfortably as VRENEK approaches and comes to stand before the group.

VRENEK
Commander, the improvements to the station have been completed in their entirety. 
Engineering’s performance has been…

VRENEK looks over at NGUYEN and TISHA.

VENERK
… adequate.

VRENEK turns her steely gaze upon RAMIREZ, kneeling in front of the group with her riot shield up.

VRENEK
Lieutenant, do you care to explain what –

She turns to look at the hapless GORKK and then gestures at the other SECURITY OFFICERS.

VRENEK
... this is?

RAMIREZ
… A drill?

VRENEK
(Sharply)
Lieutenant Commander, I would have a word with you about the state of Security. 

HARPER steps forward and follows DR. VRENEK down the hall, with VRENEK gesturing emphatically as she speaks to HARPER in a hushed, but no-less-severe tone.

COOPER
(Fatigued)
I've got to drop my field kit off at Sickbay before I hit the sonic shower.

The SECURITY OFFICERS make way for COOPER and regroup in a huddle nearby.

CH’THANE turns to NGUYEN and TISHA. 

CH’THANE
You completed all of her upgrades to the station while we were gone?

TISHA
Yes, Sir.

CH’THANE
Huh…. Tevik always said it was too much extra work for Engineering,
and that it would lead to burn-out.

CH’THANE looks over at DR. VRENEK, who is now standing at the end of the hallway, vehemently berating HARPER.

CH’THANE
No wonder she’s in such a good mood.

He turns back to NGUYEN and TISHA.

CH’THANE
You two have just made my life a lot easier. You’ll have to tell me how you pulled it off.

NGUYEN
Well, uh -  

MAAL’s comm badge sounds.

COOPER
(Over MAAL’s comm badge)
Maal, why is there an Orion multi-key jammed in the Sickbay holo-emitter?!

MAAL taps his comm badge. 

MAAL
Uh… be right there!

MAAL hastily exits down the hall.

CH’THANE
(To NGUYEN and TISHA)
Stop by my office tomorrow for a drink. You two have earned it.

NGUYEN
Actually, Sir, there are a few more people who should be included.

INT., THE OFFICERS’ LOUNGE, THE NEXT DAY

All three shifts of ENGINEERING and SECURITY are packed in like sardines. There is a bottle of Romulan ale on every table.

NGUYEN, GREELEY, RAMIREZ, TISHA and MAAL are all seated together at a table at the front. The excitement in the room is palpable.

The talking subsides and a hush falls over the room as CH’THANE steps forward. He raises a glass of Romulan ale to the assembled crowd.

CH’THANE
Well done.

He downs his drink, sets the glass on the bar, and exits the Officer’s Lounge.

The group is silent for a moment, and then everyone bursts into cheers. Glasses are raised and clinked. SECURITY OFFICERS and ENGINEERS exchange hugs and high-fives.

NGUYEN, GREELEY, RAMIREZ, TISHA and MAAL raise and clink their glasses.

NGUYEN
We did it, you guys.

TISHA
Now let’s never do it again.

The others nod in tired agreement.

FADE TO CLOSING CREDITS

POST-CREDIT SCENE

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

DR. VRENEK stands behind CH’THANE’s desk. NGUYEN, GREELEY, RAMIREZ, TISHA and MAAL stand penitently before her.

DR. VRENEK looks over each and every one of them slowly.

VRENEK
I am given to understand that while laboring under the misapprehension that 
I was an agent of the Romulan Empire, the five of you directly contravened 
my orders and engaged in a conspiracy to sabotage this station?

They all hang their heads.

TISHA
… Yes, Sir.

VRENEK is quiet for a moment, and then raises an eyebrow.

VRENEK
Impressive. 

END POST-CREDIT SCENE.

Notes:

EPISODE SYNOPSIS: As Cooper, Harper, ch'Thane and Agent Smith are preparing to leave Nausicaa, General Gath'Rok's granddaughter is found in critical condition. Cooper is able to perform life-saving surgery, and Harper and Agent Smith are able to help the Orion soldiers responsible. A grateful Gath'Rok declares Cooper to be his adopted son, and he agrees to a closed-door conference with Agent Smith and ch'Thane, after which they inform Cooper that he will be leading a medical aid mission to vaccinate rural Nausicaans against tuberculosis.

On the station, the Security and Medical departments run a coordinated campaign of weaponized incompetence to distract Dr. Vrenek from noticing that all three shifts of engineers are working together to re-wire the station to trigger a shut-down in order to prevent her from transferring control of the station to the Romulans. When they initiate the shut-down of the station upon ch'Thane's return, Tisha, Nguyen, Ramirez and Maal are informed that the base renovations that raise their suspicions were part of an approved safety measure, and that the reason Tevik had refused to carry out Dr. Vrenek's requested improvements was because of his concern that the workload on Engineering might lead to burn-out. Fortunately for the junior officers, ch'Thane's relief that Dr. Vrenek's list of improvements had been completed prevented any negative consequences that one might expect from organizing a soft mutiny.

Chapter 11: STAR TREK: Star Base 80  Season 4 Episode 11 The Unexpected

Summary:

"Rubicun III? You mean that planet where everyone jogs everywhere, and wears sexy rompers,
and they execute you for stepping on the grass?" - Ensign Maalum Aron

Buckle up, folks, 'cause we're going there.

Notes:

*The Incident - TNG S1, E8, 'Justice.'

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80  Season 4 Episode 11 The Unexpected

INT., SICKBAY

COOPER and MAAL are working at their desks when the door chimes and a distraught HARPER enters, holding a padd. COOPER stands.

COOPER
Harper, what’s wrong?

HARPER
Nunc just sent me a bill for “my half” of the wedding, now that it’s been called off.

COOPER takes the padd from HARPER and does a double take.

COOPER
Yikes.

HARPER
I couldn’t pay this off in ten lifetimes. Coop, what am I going to do? 

HARPER wrings her hands anxiously.

HARPER
Maybe I can talk to Nunc and work out a payment plan with my discretionary allowance –

COOPER
Harper, don’t talk to Nunc, and for God’s sake, don’t pay him anything. Let me handle this.

HARPER
That’s really sweet of you, but this is my problem to deal with, and -

COOPER
And I’m your friend. You've got enough to worry about. Let me take this off your plate.

HARPER hesitates.

HARPER
… Are you sure?

COOPER
I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it. And besides, I’m pretty good at handling Nunc.

HARPER
He does like you a lot.

COOPER
So let me take care of this for you.

HARPER
Thanks, Coop. I really appreciate it.

COOPER and HARPER embrace.

HARPER
Well, I’d better get to Security.

HARPER exits Sickbay. Once the door slides shut behind her, COOPER picks up the padd and types furiously on it. Finishing his missive with a satisfying flourish, COOPER turns to MAAL.

COOPER
Maal, take this to Ops and make sure that it gets sent out as a priority communication.

MAAL takes the padd from COOPER and looks at it. His eyes grow wide, and he looks up at COOPER in shock.

MAAL
Cooper, you can’t send this.

COOPER
Why not?

MAAL
This is the most vile thing I’ve ever heard of someone saying to another
person, and I spent three years working in the cargo hold of a raiding ship.

COOPER
Ensign, take that padd to Ops right now and have them send that
message out as a top priority communique. That is a direct order.

MAAL cringes as he contemplates this, but dutifully exits Sickbay with the padd in hand.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

MAAL is headed toward Ops when he encounters TISHA, GREELEY, and RAMIREZ headed the opposite direction.

TISHA
Hey, Baby –

She notices his disturbed demeanor.

TISHA
What’s wrong?

MAAL hands the padd to TISHA, and RAMIREZ and GREELEY both read over her shoulder.

TISHA
Dr. Cooper said that?!

GREELEY
No way!

RAMIREZ
(Suppressing a laugh)
I’ve got to remember this in case my old C.O. is ever transferred here.

MAAL
Well, I better get this to Ops –

GREELEY
Hold up, Medical. We were just coming to get you.

MAAL
Why?

TISHA
(Flirtatiously)
You want to go on a honeymoon?

MAAL blushes a brilliant emerald green.

MAAL
Uh -

RAMIREZ
The Lieutenant Commander’s honeymoon is non-refundable, and since we saved 
the station – or at least, we thought we were – she’s giving us their reservations.

MAAL
That’s really nice of her, but we don’t have the clearance
to travel off-base without a department head.

TISHA
Well, lucky for you, you’re now dating a department head.

MAAL grins.

MAAL
Oh, I guess I am, huh?

MAAL pauses as another thought occurs to him.

MAAL
But I thought Engineering had a security upgrade to roll out?

TISHA
We do, but Nguyen said he’d stay here and take care of it for us.

MAAL
Aw, Steve’s a good guy. So, where are we going?

RAMIREZ
Rubicun III.

MAAL does a double take.

MAAL
You mean that planet where everyone jogs everywhere, and wears sexy rompers, and they execute
you for stepping on the grass? I thought Starfleet issued a travel advisory after... the incident.*

GREELEY
They did, and it killed the Edo homeworld’s tourism industry, which was, like, eighty
percent of their economy. The resulting global economic collapse and civil war ended
with the violent overthrow of their previous government.

MAAL
Woah.

RAMIREZ
Yeah. The new government has passed a lot of reforms to try to make the place safer and
more appealing to tourists. Apparently, they’re trying really hard to put the incident behind
them and rebrand their planet as a health and wellness resort.

MAAL
I don’t know, guys - are you sure it’s safe?

RAMIREZ
Yes. Starfleet’s lifted the travel advisory, and Rubicun III has even
recruited a senior officer in the Cali class as a brand ambassador.

GREELEY
I think his discount code is “Ransom20”?

TISHA
Look, I don’t know what happened between Nack and Harper, but I
find it hard to believe that he’d book their honeymoon on a deathtrap.

MAAL nods.

MAAL
Yeah, that makes sense.

TISHA
So…?

MAAL grins and takes TISHA’s hand.

MAAL
So, let’s go on a honeymoon.

GREELEY
Woo hoo! Inter-departmental road trip!

GREELEY and RAMIREZ high-five, as TISHA and MAAL share a kiss.

EST., EXT. THE EDO HOMEWORLD

The planet is beautifully tranquil and verdant from space.

EXT., A RESORT ON THE EDO HOMEWORLD

The upscale and luxurious vacation property is teeming with GUESTS attended to by the very blonde, fit, and attractive EDO, wearing their traditional skimpy white outfits and jogging everywhere.

TISHA, MAAL, RAMIREZ and GREELEY beam down into the courtyard of the resort, where they are greeted by KIVARA, a beautiful female Edo, and RYLAN, a well-built male Edo. Their dauntless buoyancy falls somewhere in between “LDS missionary” and “children’s cartoon.”

KIVARA
Greetings, cherished guests, and welcome to our
world, which we happily share with you. I am Kivara.

RYLAN
And I am Rylan.

KIVARA hugs GREELEY and MAAL, and RYLAN embraces RAMIREZ, who is eyeing him the way a dog eyes a steak. After gazing into RAMIREZ’s eyes and sensuously caressing her cheek, RYLAN then goes to embrace TISHA, who waves him off.

TISHA
I’m good, thanks.

RAMIREZ
(Quickly)
I’ll take her hug.

RYLAN smiles and embraces RAMIREZ again. When he starts to pull away, she pulls him closer.

RYLAN
Oh, uh –

He extracts himself from her embrace.

MAAL
(Looking around)
Wow, Rubicun III is really beautiful.

KIVARA and RYLAN exchange looks of discomfort, which they try to hide.

KIVARA
We no longer go by that name.

RYLAN
It has some... unfortunate connotations.

MAAL
Oh, right - sorry about that!

KIVARA
(With strained cheerfulness)
After the… incident that led to Starfleet’s travel advisory,
our planet went through a… period of growth and renewal!

RYLAN
Our previous rather, um, strict penal code was the product of our old system of governance, where
land-owning citizens elected representatives from amongst themselves to enact policies and laws.

KIVARA
Our previous form of government could best be likened to… a caucus of homeowners.

RYLAN
An “association,” if you will.

KIVARA
But those days are behind us. We are now a fully representative democracy. And with help from
our generous foreign investors, we are sharing our culture of well-being throughout the galaxy.

RYLAN
We’ve also chosen a new name for our planet – one that reflects our ethos of health and vitality.

RYLAN turns to TISHA, RAMIREZ and GREELEY.

RYLAN
In your language, the name of our world best translates to “Planet Fitness.”

TISHA, RAMIREZ and GREELEY exchange subtly incredulous looks.

MAAL
Aw, that sounds nice.

KIVARA
We will be your Platinum Ambassadors throughout your stay with us.

RYLAN
All of our facilities are at your disposal. We have six competition-sized
pools, a sauna, a spa, a yoga studio, and a gym on every floor.

At that moment, they are approached by a beautiful and exuberant EDO WAITRESS carrying a tray of colorful blended drinks, which she distributes to MAAL, TISHA, GREELEY and RAMIREZ.

WAITRESS
Compliments of the hotel’s smoothie bar! These are gluten free, nut free, soy free, vegan, organic, and
they’re made with our proprietary blend of adaptogens designed to help the body rid itself of toxins.

The group sip their drinks and react politely.

WAITRESS
You know, until just recently, you couldn’t find these anywhere else 
in the quadrant, but now, as part of our unique membership program -

MAAL
What’s a “toxin”?

RYLAN
Toxins accumulate in your body due to stressors like pollution, processed food, and negativity.

MAAL
But that doesn’t –

KIVARA
(Brightly)
Who wants a tour of our pickleball courts?

INT., SECURITY

HARPER and COOPER sit at HARPER’s desk, eating from Chinese take-out containers.

HARPER
Hey, thanks again for handling things with Nunc for me. I really appreciate it.

COOPER
No thanks necessary, Harper. It was my pleasure. 

COOPER takes a bite of his food.

COOPER
How are you feeling?

HARPER
Hurt. And lonely.… I had my whole life planned out with Nack, and now all of that’s just… gone.
And I really miss him. He could be so incredibly sweet and thoughtful, and he made me laugh…

HARPER shrugs.

HARPER
I don’t know, maybe I just miss who I thought he was.

HARPER shakes her head.

HARPER
As much as it hurts, though, you were right – getting married would have been 
a mistake. I’m not ready for a lifetime commitment – least of all to a Ferengi.

She puts her take-out carton down.

HARPER
How are you feeling?

COOPER
Oh, I’ll be okay. When it comes down to it, Jay-Al and I just weren’t right for each other.
Really, the hardest part is coming to terms with the fact that I just broke up with the
hottest man I’ll ever sleep with.

HARPER
Cooper, you broke up with the hottest man anyone will ever sleep with.

COOPER
Not as helpful as you might think, Harper.

HARPER
So have you given any thought to what happens when Tevik comes back from assignment?

COOPER
Nothing’s going to happen. We’re all adults, and pon farr was a one-time thing. 
We're just going to move past it.

HARPER
Okay, Cooper, the last time we talked about this, you were pretty emotional. 
What's with the sudden about-face? 

COOPER sets down his chopsticks.

COOPER
Harper, I couldn't maintain a relationship with a guy whose native language was
therapy-speak. A relationship with my Vulcan co-worker would be a disaster. 

HARPER
You don't know that. I think you two would be good together.

COOPER
Tevik called me 'emotionally incontinent,' and that was before all this happened. 

HARPER
Well, maybe Tevik wants an emotionally incontinent mess on his hands. 

COOPER
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he would find that "highly illogical."

HARPER
Coop - 

COOPER
(Firmly)
Harper, I've processed my emotions around what happened between us, and I'm over it.
From a strictly rational perspective, the best thing we can do is just put it all behind us.   

Before HARPER can respond to this, the door chimes and slides open, and NGUYEN sticks his head in.

NGUYEN
Hey, L-T-C, you ready? This security upgrade isn’t going to roll itself out.

He notices COOPER.

NGUYEN
Hey, Coop!

COOPER
How’s it going, Steve?

HARPER stands and heads to leave.

HARPER
Let’s get to it, Chief.

NGUYEN
(With a grin)
It still sounds so flippin’ cool!

HARPER and NGUYEN exit Security as COOPER gathers up the empty take-out cartons.

EXT., POOLSIDE AT THE RESORT ON PLANET FITNESS

MAAL, TISHA, RAMIREZ and GREELEY are sunning themselves in deck chairs. 

A scantily clad EDO LIFEGUARD walks by, and RAMIREZ sits up and takes notice.

RAMIREZ
Sweet resurrected Spock, that man puts the “Edo” in “Speedo.”

TISHA
Girl, go talk to him.

At that moment, they are approached by KIVARA and RYLAN.

KIVARA
Would you like to try some of our proprietary energy bars? They’re available as one of the
many benefits of the membership program, and they’re keto, vegan, organic, and fair trade!

RYLAN
And the proprietary blend of antioxidants and adaptogens improves digestion and balances your moods.

MAAL
… How?

TISHA
(Waving off KIVARA and RYLAN)
We’re good, thanks.

KIVARA
We also wanted to let you know that Rylan will be leading one of the
resort’s exclusive workout sessions on the beach this afternoon.

RYLAN
It’s a proprietary program of jogging, dancing, interval training, calisthenics, capoeira and stretching!

KIVARA
We call it “Cardi-Yoga!”

MAAL
(To RYLAN)
Oh, are you a personal trainer?

KIVARA
We’re wellness coaches!

MAAL
What’s a “wellness coach”?

RYLAN
We’re specially qualified to guide you on a holistic journey of health and positivity!

RAMIREZ
(Eyeing RYLAN)
I’ll try “Cardi-Yoga.”

GREELEY
(With a shrug)
Sure, why not?

RYLAN
That’s great!

KIVARA
We’ll see you on the beach!

With that, KIVARA and RYLAN jog off.

MAAL
Guys, do Kivara and Rylan seem… weird to you?

TISHA
(With a shrug)
They’re a bit much, but I think they just really love their jobs.

At that moment, the LIFEGUARD walks by again in the opposite direction, and RAMIREZ sits up.

RAMIREZ
Girl, if I worked here, I’d love my job too.

She leaves her deck chair to pursue the LIFEGUARD, and TISHA and GREELEY sit back in their deck chairs, but MAAL remains uneasy.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

HARPER is headed back to Security when AGENT SMITH rounds the corner. He is speaking into his communicator.

AGENT SMITH
Oh, stop crying, I’m coming to get you right now…. Yes, of course I’ll bring pants!

He snaps his communicator closed.

HARPER
Is everything okay, Sir?

AGENT SMITH
I’ve got to go extract another agent from Ferenginar.

With that, AGENT SMITH stalks off down the hall in a foul mood.

INT., THE RESORT LOBBY, THE EDO HOMEWORLD

The lobby is as gleaming white as the resort staff’s revealing attire.

As MAAL, TISHA, RAMIREZ and GREELEY make their way through the lobby, they are approached by a tall and attractive EDO CONCIERGE carrying a padd.

EDO CONCIERGE
Would you like to make dinner reservations in the resort’s on-site restaurant? All of our meals
are gluten-free, nut-free, soy-free, vegan, keto, and specially customized to help you
achieve your wellness goals!

RAMIREZ
We’re going to order in, thanks.

EDO CONCIERGE
I understand. Of course, it’s worth mentioning that commercially prepared food contains
anti-nutrients that can lead to poor digestion, acne, bloating, negative vibes and hiccups.

TISHA
But isn’t the resort food “commercially prepared”?

EDO CONCIERGE
Not at all! In fact, people love our proprietary meal system so much, they want to take
it home with them. And now, as part of our unique membership program, you can!

GREELEY
Yeah, I think we’re going to pass.

EDO CONCIERGE
(Typing on their padd)
You know what? I’ll make a reservation for the four of you – just in case you change your minds!

With that, the EDO CONCIERGE jogs off toward another group of vacationers, and MAAL, TISHA, GREELEY and RAMIREZ exchange puzzled looks.

RAMIREZ
Okay, that was weird.

MAAL
Right? There’s just something… off about this place. Rylan and Kivara keep talking about wellness,
but nothing they’ve said has any basis in medicine. In fact, most of it doesn’t even make sense…
And why does everyone keep talking about the “membership program”?

TISHA
Guys, how did we end up here again?

RAMIREZ
Apparently Nack’s cousin is an investor in this resort, and the
Ferengi are really big on keeping their money in the family.

GREELEY
(To RAMIREZ)
Hey, we better get moving if you want to make it to Cardi-Yoga in time.

RAMIREZ
Let’s go then, because I am not missing a chance to see Rylan’s glutes in action.

With that, GREELEY and RAMIREZ exit.

MAAL
I don’t know, Tisha, it just feels like everyone here is trying to sell us something -

At that moment, they are approached by a beautiful RESORT EMPLOYEE carrying a pad.

RESORT EMPLOYEE
There you are! You’d better hurry, or you’ll miss your massage reservations!

TISHA
Massage reservations?

RESORT EMPLOYEE
Mm-hmm.

MAAL and TISHA exchanged confused looks, and the RESORT EMPLOYEE checks her padd.

RESORT EMPLOYEE
Room 401?... You two are the newlyweds, right?

TISHA
(Taking MAAL’s hand)
Yes. Yes, we are.

RESORT EMPLOYEE
Right this way, then.

With that, the RESORT EMPLOYEE leads MAAL and TISHA toward the resort spa.

INT., HARPER’S QUARTERS, THAT EVENING

HARPER is reclining on her couch in pajamas with a glass of wine, when her door chimes. She sits up.

HARPER
Come in.

The door chimes and COOPER enters, carrying a carton of ice cream. HARPER stands.

HARPER
Hey, Coop - um, what are you doing here?

COOPER
Well, you mentioned being lonely over lunch, and I realized that I've been pretty wrapped
up in myself lately, and I haven't been a very good friend to you. So I figured I'd come over
and we'd hang out and eat ice cream and watch 'Casablanca.' 

HARPER
Coop, that's really sweet, but you don't have to - 

COOPER
Harper, I know what you're going to say, but the last thing you need to do 
is to sit around your quarters alone. You need someone to come over and
take your mind off Nack for a few hours. 

HARPER
Actually, Coop –

HARPER’s door chimes again.

HARPER
Come in.

The door slides open, and NGUYEN enters.

NGUYEN
Hey, sorry I’m late, I –

NGUYEN notices COOPER and does a double take. He turns to HARPER.

NGUYEN
Coop - ? L-T-C, I didn’t know you two got down like that.

COOPER
What?

HARPER
Cooper’s not –

NGUYEN
Don’t be shy, little mama. Sometimes you've just gotta let the wolf out –

He breaks into an imitation of a wolf howl.

NGUYEN
Awooooo, you know what I’m saying?

NGUYEN starts unbuttoning his uniform flap.

NGUYEN
Alright, so who’s doubling up on who here?

HARPER
Actually, Steve, Cooper was just leaving.

COOPER
Not quite yet – excuse us for a moment.

COOPER pulls HARPER to the side.

COOPER
Harper, what are you doing?

HARPER
None of your business.

COOPER
Are you about to hook up with Nguyen? Because he is a junior officer –

HARPER
Actually, Coop, Nguyen’s a department head now, which means that he
doesn’t report to me, which means that there’s nothing wrong with this.

COOPER
He’s an interim department head.

HARPER
So?

COOPER
So what makes you think this is a good idea?

HARPER
Because everyone knows that Steve is a no-strings-attached good time, and like my
grandma always said, “The first step to getting over someone, is getting under someone.”

COOPER
Your grandma - ? Okay, well, that explains a lot of
things, but you’re treating this like it’s no big deal -

HARPER
Because it is no big deal! Steve and I have been very clear
with each other about the fact that this is strictly casual.

COOPER
You can’t come to an agreement about how
everyone is going to feel after the fact, Harper.

HARPER
Cooper, I appreciate your concern, but I know what I’m doing, and there are 
just some itches that wine and ice cream and sappy old movies can’t scratch.

COOPER
You know what? Fine - if you’re determined to make a mistake, I obviously can’t stop you.

COOPER exits in a huff, and HARPER returns to NGUYEN.

HARPER
(Apologetically)
Sorry about that. Cooper's a bit of a drama queen, but his heart is in the right place.

NGUYEN
No worries, baby girl.

NGUYEN resumes unbuttoning his uniform flap.

NGUYEN
Now, let’s go get all up in that Jeffries tube.

HARPER
(Leading him toward the bedroom)
Please don’t call it that, Steve.

INT., RESORT SPA

TISHA and MAAL are lying on massage tables, waiting for their masseuses, when an EDO EMPLOYEE enters and pulls a curtain to divide the room off into two sections. This is followed shortly by the sound of three people entering the room on the other side of the curtain and disrobing.

VOICE 1
It’s about time! We certainly waited long enough.

VOICE 2
Oh, pipe down, I was going over the books.

VOICE 3
And…?

VOICE 2
And profits are through the roof! This place is practically a latinum mine.

VOICE 1
What are you talking about? We’re barely breaking even on guest reservations.

VOICE 2
Not the resort, you idiot – the membership program.

MAAL and TISHA exchange looks, but say nothing as they listen in.

VOICE 3
I told you this was a good idea.

VOICE 2
It’s not a good idea – it’s a great idea. All these little blonde idiots forking over their cash,
thinking they’re going to get rich? This is the opportunity of a lifetime. I’m telling you, if
the membership program takes off at our other properties like it has at this one? We’re
going to own this planet and everyone on it.

VOICE 3
Not just this planet – every planet the guests take the program back to. That’s the beauty of it.

VOICE 1
They keep on recruiting new members, thinking it’s going to pay off –

VOICE 2
And all their money funnels up to us.

The three VOICES laugh.

VOICE 3
Hey, if we’re gonna keep expanding, we should think about adding another
membership level to the program – you know, keep the dopes on the treadmill.

VOICE 1
Well, let’s see, we’ve got ‘Member,’ ‘Special Member,’ ‘Valued Member,’ ‘VIP,’ ‘Ambassador,’
‘Special Ambassador,’ ‘Elite Ambassador,’ ‘Stellar Ambassador,’ and ‘Platinum Ambassador.’

MAAL and TISHA’s eyes widen in recognition at the term ‘Platinum Ambassador.’

VOICE 3
How about ‘Super Nova Ambassador,’ and we dangle a cruise in front of them? 
That oughta get the morons excited.

They laugh again, but one of the VOICES stops laughing abruptly.

VOICE 1
(Suspicious)
Hey, who’s on the other side of that curtain?

MAAL and TISHA exchange looks of alarm.

VOICE 2
No one. My cousin was supposed to bring his wife here, but the wedding’s off.

VOICE 1
Oh, is that right?

VOICE 2
Yeah. Poor guy, you’d think he lost his life savings the way he’s carrying
on about it. I tell you, that girl must give some amazing oo-mox.

VOICE 3
Speaking of, do these masseuses give oo-mox?

VOICE 2
Everyone here gives oo-mox – it’s part of the job interview.

The three VOICES cackle with laughter.

TISHA looks at MAAL and jerks her head toward the door. He nods. Moving very slowly and very carefully, they wrap their towels around themselves and slip silently out of the room.

INT., A RESORT HOTEL SUITE, SOME TIME LATER

TISHA, MAAL, RAMIREZ and GREELEY sit in a circle.

GREELEY
The Ferengi?

TISHA
Well, unless you can think of another alien race that’s obsessed with oo-mox and profits.

RAMIREZ and GREELEY exchange looks.

RAMIREZ
That might explain some things about ‘Cardi-Yoga.’

MAAL
What, your beach work-out?

RAMIREZ
Well first off, the L-T-C would make us run laps for even calling it a work-out.

GREELEY
It seemed like it was designed by someone who had heard
about “exercise” through a broken universal translator.

RAMIREZ
That’s not even the weirdest part, though. Most of the “work-out” was just Rylan telling us that
if we signed up for the membership program under him, we could lose weight, get “slamming
summer bods,” and make lots of money by helping other people do the same thing.

TISHA
It sounds like the Ferengi have just re-invented multi-level marketing and
sold it to all these poor, desperate, sexy people as “investing” in their planet.

GREELEY
That does sound like the Ferengi.

MAAL
Well, what do we do? We can’t just let the Edo get taken advantage of.

TISHA
We’ve got to call the Commander.

INT., THE HOTEL SUITE, SLIGHTLY LATER.

The group is gathered around a viewscreen, talking to CH’THANE.

CH’THANE
That sounds like the Ferengi, all right.

MAAL
Sir, what do we do?

CH’THANE
Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do. Nothing they’re doing violates Federation law –
or any other laws that I’m aware of. Hell, they’re probably heroes on Ferenginar.

TISHA
But we can’t just stand by while these people are being exploited.

CH’THANE
In taking advantage of the Edo peoples' poverty and desperation, the Ferengi have become part
of their culture, for better or worse. Probably worse. But doing anything to interfere with their
pyramid scheme would violate Starfleet’s prime directive, and there’s nothing here
that would justify Section 31 getting involved.

TISHA
Understood, Sir.

CH’THANE
By the way, Lieutenant, I hope you’re keeping an eye on the shuttle.

TISHA checks her tricorder and looks up, confused.

TISHA
It’s still in lunar orbit.

CH’THANE
Good. Just keep an eye on it. After all, there’s world-changing technology on that vessel.

The group exchanges perplexed looks.

TISHA
… Okay?

CH’THANE
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. ch’Thane out.

The viewscreen shuts off, and TISHA turns to the others, dejected.

TISHA
Well, guys, there’s nothing we can do about it.

MAAL
I’m not so sure.

GREELEY
You heard what the Commander said - don’t do anything he wouldn’t do.

MAAL
Yeah, so about that….

INT., THE SHUTTLE, A SHORT TIME LATER

MAAL, TISHA, RAMIREZ and GREELEY frantically search the shuttle, turning over every nook and cranny.

GREELEY
What are we even looking for?!

TISHA
I don’t know – “world-changing technology.”

RAMIREZ
It’s got to be some crazy Section 31 super-weapon, right?

TISHA
Seriously?!

MAAL
Well, what else could he be talking about?

Having exhausted her search, TISHA sinks into one of the chairs at the helm.

TISHA
I have no idea, and we’ve searched every inch of this shuttle. 
Whatever the Commander’s talking about – it’s not here.

The others nod in resigned agreement.

MAAL
So what do we do now?

TISHA
We go back to the resort, we pack our bags, and we leave. We may not be able to stop
the Ferengi from taking advantage of these people, but we don’t have to participate in it.

The group starts to move toward the teleporter pad.

RAMIREZ
Hang on, guys – I’ve got to replicate some pizza before we go back down there. I can’t deal
with any more gluten-free, nut-free, fat-free, flavor-free, fun-free smoothies and energy bars.

The others nod in agreement, and head to the shuttle’s replicator.

RAMIREZ
Computer – eight slices of cheese pizza.

As plates with pizza appear in the replicator, RAMIREZ and GREELEY pass them out, and the group dig in with gusto.

MAAL
This is so good.

GREELEY
Imagine being stuck here without a replicator.

RAMIREZ
And having no other option than to eat their weird food? No thanks.

TISHA and MAAL put down their pizza and look at each other.

MAAL
‘Cause that’s what the replicator gives us –

TISHA
Options.

The four of them look around at each other.

INT., SICKBAY

The EMH is sitting wearily at COOPER’s desk, while COOPER furiously wipes down counters and surfaces.

EMH
(Quietly exasperated)
I understand the situation, I just don’t see why you care.

COOPER
Because Harper is making a huge mistake and – as usual – she won’t listen to reason.

EMH
Lieutenant Commander Harper is an adult. Even if she is
making a mistake, I hardly see how it's any of your business.

COOPER
Because she’s taking advantage of a vulnerable junior officer –

EMH
Ah yes, Lieutenant Steven Phillip Nguyen. While medical records indicate that he is a scandalous
eighteen months younger than Miss Harper, he also has the distinction of being treated for the
venereal “Blue Flu” more often than any other crew member last year, by a wide margin.
To quote your assistant, that young man "pulls more strange than a Delta Quadrant freighter."

The EMH looks pointedly at COOPER.

EMH
It would seem that the interim Chief Engineer is not quite
the innocent little lamb that he appears at first blush.

COOPER
That’s not the point -

EMH
Then what is the point? Because we – or rather, you – have already discussed this at great length,
and yet we seem no closer to a resolution than we were when you activated me to… (with a sigh)
confer upon the matter.

COOPER
Harper isn’t considering the consequences of her actions. When this whole
thing blows up in her face – and it will – she’s going to feel terrible.

EMH
She is? Or you are?

COOPER
This isn’t about me –

EHM
Oh, really? Because medical records also indicate that the previous Chief Engineer – who is now away
on assignment – was very recently evaluated as being in an advanced state of pon farr. Curiously,
however, there are no details about what the recommended course of treatment and follow-up
was. So, who are we really talking about here – Lieutenant Commander Harper or – ?

COOPER
Computer, deactivate EMH.

The EMH dematerializes, and COOPER slumps against the counter.

EXT., THE EDO RESORT

TISHA
(In voice over)
So, here’s the plan –

TISHA, MAAL, GREELEY and RAMIREZ materialize on the grounds of the resort. They all split up and head in different directions.

INT., THE RESORT LOBBY

TISHA
(In voice over)
We’re going to approach as many people as we can squeeze on that shuttle.

MAAL approaches the EDO CONCIERGE and engages in conversation. In response to something he says, the EDO CONCIERGE nods enthusiastically.

EXT., RESORT GROUNDS

TISHA
(In voice over)
And we’re going to tell them that we’re interested in signing up for the membership program –

GREELEY approaches KIVARA, says something to her, and she smiles and nods excitedly.

EXT., THE RESORT POOL

TISHA
(In voice over)
There’s just one condition –

RAMIREZ leans against the lifeguard tower, flirting with the EDO LIFEGUARD. She asks him a question and his face lights up.

EXT., THE BEACH

TISHA, dressed for a beach workout, is talking to RYLAN.

TISHA
It has to be on our shuttle.

RYLAN
Oh, we’re supposed to use the resort conference room –

TISHA
(Apologetically)
I know, but I’ve been getting some crazy readings from the shuttle’s onboard computer.
Something’s off and I don’t know what it is, but I’ve got to get it figured out and fixed
before we leave tomorrow.

RYLAN
I really think we should discuss your membership here at the resort –

TISHA
Sorry, it’s the only time I can do it.

RYLAN
I’m not even sure it’s allowed….

TISHA
I understand. Maybe we can talk about the membership program next
time I’m here – although who knows when I’ll get time off again….

TISHA starts to walk away, and RYLAN fidgets anxiously.

RYLAN
… Wait!

TISHA stops and turns around.

RYLAN
Um… we can probably bend the rules a little in this one very specific instance.

TISHA smiles brightly.

TISHA
Great! See you soon!

INT., STATION HALLWAY, THE NEXT MORNING

COOPER is headed down the hallway when he runs into NGUYEN, who is headed the opposite direction.

NGUYEN
Hey, Coop.

COOPER
Good morning, Steve.

NGUYEN
Hey, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you checking in with Harper last night.

COOPER looks puzzled.

NGUYEN
Believe me, I had the same concerns. I know it’s a vulnerable time for her right now, with
the broken engagement, and the last thing I want to do is take advantage. Harper kept
insisting that everything was cool, but I’m glad you were there to check in, just in case.

COOPER nods slowly as he puts all this together.

NGUYEN
You’re a good friend, Coop.

COOPER
... Uh, well, I’m, uh, just - just looking out for everyone here….

NGUYEN
So are you a morning guy?

COOPER
A what now?

NGUYEN
A morning guy. You know, up for a little booty call before duty call? 
‘Cause we’ve got, like, twenty minutes –

COOPER
Uh, no. No, thanks. I’m not a “morning guy.”

NGUYEN
Cool, catch you later.

NGUYEN starts to head down the hallway and then turns back.

NGUYEN
You might check on the L-T-C, though. She seemed pretty hungover when I left.

NGUYEN continues down the hall toward Engineering, while COOPER stands in the hallway, processing this interaction.

INT., THE SHUTTLE

RYLAN, KIVARA, THE EDO CONCIERGE and the LIFEGUARD are all crammed into the shuttle with TISHA, MAAL, and GREELEY, who are running diagnostics and pretending to fix things, and RAMIREZ, who sits in one of the chairs at the helm.

RYLAN
I, um, I didn’t realize there would be so many of us.

GREELEY
Well, we’re just all so excited about the membership program –

TISHA
(Brightly)
And now we get to hear about it from all of you!

KIVARA
So, do you all need to be here fixing the shuttle?

TISHA
Mm-hmm. I’m running diagnostics, Maal is checking for anomalous energy readings,
and Greeley is comparing our data against the shuttle’s internal sensor logs.

LIFEGUARD
(To RAMIREZ)
What are you doing?

RAMIREZ
Oh, I’m here for moral support.

RYLAN, KIVARA, THE EDO CONCIERGE and the LIFEGUARD all exchange uncertain looks, but finally KIVARA shrugs, and they roll with it.

RYLAN
Well, the beauty of the membership program is that for a very reasonable initial investment –

RAMIREZ
How reasonable?

RYLAN
Well –

KIVARA
When you consider all of the benefits that you receive, together with your
income opportunities, the membership program practically pays for itself!

GREELEY
Can I see some numbers on that?

KIVARA
… What now?

GREELEY
Well, the people who run the membership program must have records that break
down the average earnings per member, along with a cost-benefit analysis of all
of the program’s features, right?

RYLAN
Oh, uh –

TISHA
Greeley, of course they do. These people are smart – they wouldn’t just sign up for
something like this without seeing documented earnings over time balanced
against the costs of maintaining your membership.

The four EDO look at one another uncomfortably.

KIVARA
You know what? Let’s put a pin in that! Now, as part of your membership, you not only receive
your work outs, your meal plan, and your wellness coach certification, but you also receive
a three-month supply of the proprietary smoothies and energy bars!

RAMIREZ
So what happens after three months?

KIVARA
Do what now?

MAAL
Yeah, does the membership program send you another three month supply?

CONCIERGE
Oh, no. You have to purchase them from the program.

GREELEY
But I thought it was included with the program?

TISHA
So we need to buy into the program, and then we have to keep on buying
smoothies and energy bars? How does the membership program “pay for itself”?

LIFEGUARD
Oh, once you start recruiting new members, and then they recruit new members –

MAAL
But what happens when everyone’s a member?

LIFEGUARD
Huh?

MAAL
Well, if the program’s as great as you say, and all of the members recruit everyone they know,
eventually everyone will be a member. How do you make money once there’s no one left to recruit?

The four EDO look at one another in consternation.

INT., HARPER’S QUARTERS
The door chimes and HARPER enters from the next room.

HARPER
Come in.

The door slides open and COOPER enters.

HARPER
Hey, Coop, what’s going on?

COOPER
I came here to apologize. That whole thing last night
wasn’t about you, it was about me. And I was out of line.

HARPER
It's okay, you were just looking out for -

COOPER
No, I wasn't. I was projecting my issues onto you and Steve and
getting mad at you about it when the truth is, I'm mad at me.

He sits down on the couch.

COOPER
I hooked up with a Vulcan in pon farr, and caught feelings for
someone who doesn't believe in feelings. Or monogamy. 

HARPER comes and sits next to COOPER. 

COOPER
And the truth is, I don't know if I can handle falling in love with
someone who probably won't ever feel the same way about me. 

HARPER
(Sympathetically)
Oh, Coop. 

COOPER
I'd just be constantly second-guessing everything and waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You know, "Am I enough?," "Why is he so quiet?," "Is he bored?," "What does that look mean?"
I'd make both of us miserable.

COOPER sighs.

COOPER
 I think the most emotionally mature thing that I can do is just admit that
I'm not emotionally mature enough to pursue a relationship with Tevik.

HARPER embraces him and they sit together quietly for a few moments.

HARPER
Well, Coop, I think if that's the way you feel, then - 

She abruptly stops talking, covers her mouth and runs out of the room, followed shortly by sounds of heaving and retching. After a few moments of this, HARPER re-enters the room.

HARPER
Ugh, sorry about that.

COOPER
Are you okay?

HARPER
No. My stomach’s been really upset lately. I don’t know what it is.

COOPER
You may have picked up a bug on Nausicaa. Let's head over to Sickbay
so we can figure out what it is and how to treat it. Because if Nguyen’s
been exposed to whatever this is, it’s going to be all over the station
by this time tomorrow.

INT., THE SHUTTLE

RAMIREZ stands.

RAMIREZ
Hey, I’m thirsty – does anyone else want anything?

GREELEY, MAAL and TISHA shake their heads.

CONCIERGE
You know, the smoothies come in a convenient, portable –

RAMIREZ
Nah, I’ll just have water.

She crosses to the replicator.

RAMIREZ
Computer, water.

A glass of water appears, and the EDO stare in amazement.

RYLAN
… What is that?

RAMIREZ
It’s water.

She picks up the glass and drinks from it.

KIVARA
No, the… thing it came out of.

CONCIERGE
I’ve never seen anything like it.

GREELEY
Oh, that’s just a replicator.

RYLAN
So you can just… create water out of nothing?

GREELEY
No, the computer actually rearranges the molecules from stuff
in the matter recombinator. It’s a pretty ingenious system.

LIFEGUARD
Does it only make water?

MAAL
No, it can make all kinds of things, like food or clothing or medicine – 
some of the larger ones can even create housing structures.

The four EDO exchange amazed looks.

RYLAN
Something like that would take care of all of our basic needs….

RAMIREZ
Oh, yeah. The Federation is a post-scarce society. 
We don’t worry about any of that stuff anymore.

TISHA
And with all of our needs taken care of, we don’t have to work jobs we hate, or borrow
money, or pay back investors…. This technology has literally changed peoples’ lives.

The four EDO exchange hopeful and excited looks.

KIVARA
Are these “replicators” difficult to make?

GREELEY
Not really, once you have the schematics.

TISHA picks up a padd.

TISHA
You know, this technology has the potential to change the culture of an entire planet. With
all of their basic needs covered, people would be free to pursue science, or art, or sports –

MAAL
Pretty much anything you want to do.

The EDO exchange amazed looks.

RYLAN
With something like that, I could focus on painting….

KIVARA
I could go back to medical school.

LIFEGUARD
I could finally write my novel.

CONCIERGE
We’d never have to give oo-mox again….

The four EDO shudder.

TISHA
(Gesturing with the padd)
It’s just a shame that Starfleet won’t allow me to give out this technology to everyone.

TISHA sets the padd down near the four EDO, and then turns her back as she resumes scanning the shuttle with her tricorder.

The four EDO eye the padd wistfully, but nobody makes a move.

After a moment, MAAL also turns his back and pushes the padd a little closer to the EDO. The EDO, however, fail to take the hint, and continue to eye the padd longingly.

After another long moment, RAMIREZ finally picks up the padd and shoves it in KIVARA’s hand.

KIVARA
Oh!

The four EDO look at each other, and then they look at RAMIREZ questioningly. RAMIREZ, GREELEY and MAAL all nod, and TISHA steals a quick glance over her shoulder as she scans.

KIVARA
(Tucking the padd away)
Well, you all need to get back to fixing your shuttle….

RYLAN
We’re probably just in the way.

CONCIERGE
We’ll let you get to it.

The four EDO stand and head to the transporter pad, attempting to hide their excitement. Just as the EDO step onto the transporter pad, the LIFEGUARD turns back.

LIFEGUARD
(To RAMIREZ)
So are we still - ?

RAMIREZ
Oh yeah, I’ll come by later.

LIFEGUARD
Cool.

With that, the EDO step onto the transporter padd and de-materialize.

TISHA turns around.

TISHA
Please tell me those poor, sweet, naïve sexy people took the replicator schematics?

The other three nod.

TISHA
Oh, thank God.

INT., SICKBAY

The door slides open with a chime, and HARPER and COOPER enter.

COOPER
Hop up on the table while I grab my tricorder.

HARPER sits on the exam table, and COOPER fetches his tricorder from his desk.

HARPER
Aw, man, I hope I’m not sick. I really don’t have time for it. I’m still
trying to get caught up on work from the time we spent on Nausicaa.

COOPER scans her with the tricorder, checks the read-out, and then looks up.

COOPER
Well, the good news is you’re not sick.

HARPER
Oh, that’s a relief.

COOPER
You’re pregnant.

HARPER
Oh, ha ha, Coop. Very funny.

COOPER
Harper, I’m not joking.

HARPER
Well then, your tricorder’s broken. Nguyen and I took precautions. 
I can’t be pregnant.

COOPER
Oh yes, you can. You’re six weeks along, and the scan shows Ferengi paternal DNA.

HARPER's eyes grow wide. She jumps up, covers her mouth, and runs into the next room, followed shortly by the sound of vomiting.

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS

POST-CREDIT SCENE

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

On the view screen, a FEDERATION NEWS ANCHOR sits behind a desk, in front of an image of the Edo homeworld.

NEWS ANCHOR
… And in financial news, the quadrant's business sector was rocked today when
a chain of Ferengi-owned resorts on the Edo homeworld went bankrupt,
following a mass exodus of all of its employees.

The screen cuts to footage of NUNC and two more FERENGI desperately trying to evade angry FERENGI CREDITORS and PURSUING JOURNALISTS.

JOURNALIST
Do you have any response to the allegations that the hotels 
were just a front for a pyramid scheme?

NUNC
No comment!

The viewscreen cuts back to the FEDERATION NEWS ANCHOR.

NEWS ANCHOR
In related news, the Edo homeworld has announced that with the assistance
of replicator technology, they are now a post-scarce society. A government
delegation is traveling to Earth to discuss applying for admission to the United
Federation of Planets in the near future.

The viewscreen clicks off, and CH’THANE turns in his chair. TISHA sits across from him.

CH’THANE
You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you, Lieutenant?

TISHA
Sir, I’m just as surprised as you are.

He opens a desk drawer and pulls out two glasses and a bottle.

CH’THANE
You drink Romulan ale?

TISHA
I’ve been known to.

He pours Romulan ale in both glasses and hands one to TISHA.

CH’THANE
So tell me about this pyramid scheme the Ferengi cooked up.

TISHA
Oh, you can go see it for yourself, Sir. There’s a freighter shipment of smoothies and
energy bars down in Ops that the Edo people sent us as a gesture of their gratitude.

CH’THANE
They sent a whole freighter shipment?

TISHA
Yes, Sir, and Ops is going crazy trying to get someone in Engineering or
Medical or Security to come sign for it and take it and move it somewhere else.

TISHA sips her drink.

TISHA
I already told them, I never want to see those nasty things again. 
As far as I’m concerned, that shipment is Ops’ problem now.

CH’THANE chuckles.

CH’THANE
Those poor bastards down in Ops.

END POST-CREDIT SCENE.

Chapter 12: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 5 Episode 1 Internal Affairs

Summary:

Internal Affairs is on base conducting an investigation, and secrets are revealed.

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 5 Episode 1 INTERNAL AFFAIRS

INT., SICKBAY

HARPER and COOPER sit side by side on an exam table.

HARPER
But I thought inter-species pregnancies required medical intervention?

COOPER
Most of the time, they do. But on rare occasions, they have been known to
occur spontaneously. And let’s be honest, if anyone was going to beat
the odds, it was going to be you and Nack.

They are both quiet for a moment.

COOPER
Well, Harper, you’ve got a decision to make –

HARPER
Cooper, I’m going to have the baby.

COOPER starts to say something, and she cuts him off.

HARPER
I’ve always wanted kids, and yes, this isn’t how I pictured it, but my life 
stopped going according to plan two hundred years ago. At least this time, 
it’s a happy surprise... So, if you’re going to try and talk me out of it, 
you can save your breath, because this is my choice.

COOPER
Harper, I’m not going to try and talk you out of anything.

HARPER
Really?

COOPER
Yes. As your doctor and your friend, I’m here to support
you, and I’ll be by your side every step of the way.

HARPER
Oh, Coop, that really means a lot.

They embrace.

HARPER
(Pulling away)
Oh, gosh, I’ve got a lot to think about. I need to tell the Commander
when he gets back from the Home Office, I’ve got to convert my
spare room into a nursery –

COOPER
You’re going to have to talk to Nack about it.

HARPER’s demeanor sinks.

HARPER
Oh…. I guess I do, huh?

COOPER
Well, he’s going to start asking questions eventually. 
And besides, I thought you guys planned on having kids.

HARPER
We did, but… I don’t know, whenever we talked about it, I always got the
sense that Nack was on board with having kids because he knew how
important it was to me. Now that we’re not together anymore,
I don’t know how he’s going to feel about… this.

COOPER
Well, you’ve got some time to figure out how you want to approach it with him.

HARPER nods.

HAPRER
Hey, you won’t say anything until after I’ve had a chance to talk to him?

COOPER
Harper, I won’t tell a soul until you’re ready to let everyone know.

HARPER
Thanks, Coop.

She stands.

HARPER
Well, I’d better get going. I’m in charge until the Commander gets back and –

HARPER’s comm badge sounds.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
We’ve got a Starfleet shuttle requesting permission to dock.

HARPER taps her comm badge.

HARPER
Send them to Shuttle Bay Two. I’ll be there in a moment.

HARPER turns to COOPER and holds out her padd.

HARPER
Hey, will you give Nack my supply list? I’ve got a lot to
think about right now, and I’m just not ready to see him yet.

COOPER
(Taking the padd)
Of course.

HARPER
And don’t say anything - but don’t act like you’re
not saying anything, either, because then –

COOPER
Harper, I will handle it with the utmost tact and discretion.

HARPER
Thanks, Coop - I owe you one.

HARPER exits Sickbay and the door slides closed behind her. After a moment, the door chimes and slides open again, and MAAL enters.

COOPER holds up HARPER’s padd.

COOPER
Maal, give this to Nack, along with our supply requisition list.

INT., SHUTTLE BAY TWO

HARPER stands at attention as COMMANDER WOBBIN TULK, an older male Tellerite in a Security Officer’s uniform, deboards his shuttle. He has a world-weary air about him.

HARPER
Welcome to Star Base 80. Chief of Security Lieutenant
Commander Emma Harper at your service.

OFFICER TULK looks around.

TULK
I thought this place was run by Section 31?

HARPER
Section 31 is the administering agency, but the
Agent-in-Command is off base at the moment -

TULK
Ah, just as well, I guess. Commander Wobbin Tulk, Starfleet Internal Affairs.

HARPER
Is there a problem, Commander?

TULK
Yes, there’s a problem. Every time someone on one of these podunk stations
gets a bee in their shorts about how things are being run, they file a complaint,
and now I’ve got to come all the way out here and investigate the source of their
hurt feelings. Do you know how long it takes to get here from Command?
My hemorrhoids are killing me.

HARPER
I’m very sorry to hear that, Sir. We’ll do everything
we can to help you resolve whatever the issue is.

TULK
Well, that's a relief. Most people hear ‘Internal Affairs’
and they clam up and make my job harder.

HARPER
We don’t have anything to hide, so we’ll be happy to work with you. You know, 
in my experience, these things are usually just some kind of misunderstanding.

TULK
You don’t know how glad I am to hear that.

INT., SECURITY, SLIGHTLY LATER

HARPER enters, followed by COMMANDER TULK.

HARPER
Please feel free to use my office while you’re here. Can I get you some coffee, or - ?

TULK
No, I’ve got to start pulling records. No matter what the complaint
is, Starfleet wants everybody’s life story in the file, and for what? 
So it can take up memory in the Daystrom Institute archives? 
No one reads these things. 

HARPER
Oh, well, I can help with that, if - 

TULK
Thanks, but I need to review it all anyway. I’ll pull
you in later when I‘ve got to start asking questions.

HARPER
I'll let you get to it then. Just let me know if there's anything you need.

TULK
If you wouldn’t mind asking everyone to cooperate
with the investigation, you’d be doing me a huge favor.

HARPER
I’m sure you won’t have any problems, but
I’ll send out a message to the senior officers.

TULK
Much obliged.

INT., DOCKING BAY THREE

As various OPS PERSONNEL move supply crates off the Dividend, NACK stands watching the docking bay entrance anxiously.

After a moment, MAAL enters and approaches him.

NACK
Hey, Maal, medical’s shipment is over there.

MAAL nods, and hands NACK both of the padds he is carrying.

NACK glances first at one, and then, when he sees the second padd, he stops short. He exhales, looks away, and collects himself before turning back to MAAL.

NACK
If I can offer a word of advice?

MAAL nods.

NACK
If your human female ever asks you for something, no matter how
unimportant it seems – even if it’s ridiculous – it’s important
Just say yes…. Don’t be me.

NACK swallows and looks away again.

MAAL
… Hey, um… do you maybe want to go for a drink?

NACK pulls a flask from an inside jacket pocket.

NACK
Way ahead of you.

He takes a swig from the flask and tucks it away.

NACK
It’s nice of you to offer, but I don’t want to be here any longer than I absolutely have to.

MAAL
Oh. Okay, well… I just thought you might want to talk to a friend. That’s all.

MAAL collects the medical supply shipment and heads toward the door.

NACK
… Maal, wait.

MAAL stops.

NACK
… I changed my mind. I’ll, uh, I’ll take you up on it.

MAAL nods, and he and NACK exit the docking bay together. 

INT., SICKBAY

TULK stands in front of COOPER’s desk.

COOPER
What do you mean, you want Lieutenant Commander Harper’s medical records?!

TULK
Ah, some crank called in a corruption complaint.

COOPER
This is a joke, right?!

TULK
I wish. My friend, I’ve seen it a million times – somebody gets their hands slapped
for contraband, so they go and lodge a complaint with Internal Affairs. And now I’ve
got to come out here and waste everyone’s time getting to the bottom of an
“organized crime ring of crooked Security officers” that’s actually just a
gram of confiscated snakeleaf sitting in the evidence locker.

COOPER
Well, as Chief Medical Officer, I’m not comfortable
handing over my patients’ records without a warrant.

TULK
Look, I get it. But if it helps, she authorized the request – check for yourself.

COOPER picks up his padd and reads from it.

COOPER
…. All departments to cooperate fully with Commander Tulk’s investigation….

TULK
I can go get a warrant if it’ll make you feel better, but it’s a lot of time and
paperwork, and I really just want to wrap this up and get out of here.

COOPER frowns.

COOPER
Well… I guess since Harper authorized the request….

He hands over a padd with some reluctance.

TULK
Thanks. You mind if I run through the list of questions I‘ve got to ask?
Technically, I’m supposed to do this in Security, but we’ve both got
work to do and I’m already here….

COOPER
Yes, of course. Harper is the last person who would ever be involved in
corruption of any sort. I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have.

TULK
Glad to hear it.

INT., THE OFFICER’S LOUNGE

NACK and MAAL both sit at the bar. MAAL has a single drink, while NACK has a half-full drink and two more empty glasses in front of him.

NACK
Maal, I had the one thing that no Ferengi has ever had, ever – a woman who
would love him just the same if he went broke tomorrow. And somehow
I lost sight of that, and now she’s gone.

He downs his drink and sets it on the bar.

NACK
Bartender, another.

MAAL
Well, one thing I know about the Lieutenant Commander is, 
she doesn’t carry a grudge. I think if you apologize –

NACK
Maal, how am I supposed to apologize? She won’t talk to me. She’s
giving you her supply list because she doesn’t even want to see me….

The BARTENDER sets another drink in front of NACK.

NACK
Anyway, she’s not going to forgive me. I was angry, I said something stupid, and
now there’s no coming back from it. Best thing is just to face it and move on.

NACK downs his drink. 

INT., ENGINEERING

NGUYEN and TISHA are standing at TISHA’s workstation, speaking with TULK.

TULK
I‘ve just got a couple of questions that I have to ask –

TISHA
I’m really not comfortable with any of this.

TULK
Listen, I get it - she’s your friend. If it makes you
feel better, she’s asked everyone to cooperate.

NGUYEN and TISHA look at their padds, and then look at each other.

INT., THE OFFICER’S LOUNGE

MAAL
You know, in my experience, whenever you lose something, life has a way of bringing
you something… well, not better, exactly, but – different. And wonderful….
You know, when you and Harper got together, I thought for sure I’d
lost the love of my life. But then, I met Tisha and –

NACK
Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I’m not the marrying type. 
For me, it was always the Lieutenant Commander or no one…. Turns out it’s no one.

NACK finishes the drink in front of him and sets it down amidst the other empty glasses.

NACK
I gotta get moving, I’m going to be late to the next stop.

MAAL
Hey, uh - let’s do this again next time you’re here, all right?

NACK
It’s good of you to offer, but I‘m not sure if there’s even going to be a “next time.”
I’ve got a meeting with a guy this afternoon about selling this account.

MAAL
Oh.… Well, uh, listen… um, as your friend… just - just take care of yourself, okay? 

NACK gets up from his bar stool.

NACK
Maal, you’re a stand-up guy. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.

MAAL
Thanks. You too.

NACK chuckles mirthlessly.

NACK
I am a smuggler, a fence, a womanizer, and as of late, I’m working on adding
“functioning alcoholic” to my resume. Do any of those sound like stand-up guys to you?

MAAL
I don’t know, maybe. 

NACK
Maal - 

MAAL
Well, why not? I mean, you don’t actually know whether
you’re a stand-up guy until the moment comes, right?

NACK smiles sadly.

NACK
... Don’t ever change.

NACK exits the Officers’ Lounge.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

As NACK exits the Officer’s Lounge and heads toward the docking bay, he is stopped by COMMANDER TULK.

TULK
Nack?

NACK
Who’s asking?

INT., SECURITY

HARPER is sitting in an interrogation room when TULK enters, carrying a stack of padds. He sits down across from her.

TULK
I want to thank you again for being so accommodating. Most people would've
given me the run-around and this whole thing would‘ve taken weeks.

HARPER
Well, I want to help get this sorted out. What are we looking at here?

TULK
What can you tell me about the station’s supplier?

HARPER
Nack?... Well, uh, he’s been our supplier for years, and –

TULK
And how many of those years were you two involved?

HARPER
Oh. Um, just recently, but, uh – we’re not anymore.

TULK
Uh huh. He give you a lot of gifts?

HARPER
I… I guess so. It’s Ferengi culture, you know.

TULK
The Ferengi are known to be quite generous with their women.

HARPER nods uncomfortably.

TULK
How did Nack come to be the base supplier?

HARPER
Well, he was the only one who could meet our needs –

TULK picks up a padd.

TULK
Yeah, turns out you’ve got an interesting shopping list. Andorean memory
crystals, Gelreckian sub-processers from the twenty-two-sixties….

HARPER
Yes, Sir.

TULK
What’s the purpose of all this stuff?

HAPRER
I’m sorry?

TULK
What does a station like this need a twenty-second century Tamarian coding unit for?

HARPER swallows.

HARPER
… Sir, what is your security clearance?

TULK
Excuse me?

HARPER
I can’t answer until I know your clearance level, Sir.

TULK
Omicron-Seven.

HARPER sighs shakily.

HARPER
Then, Sir, I’m afraid that’s classified.

INT., SICKBAY

COOPER is sitting at his desk, and TULK sits across from him.

TULK
Tell me about Lieutenant Commander Harper’s relationship with Nack.

COOPER
It’s over, thank God. That guy is no good.

TULK
You don’t trust him?

COOPER
No, he’s a slimy little weasel. I’m just glad Harper finally realized it.

INT., ENGINEERING

TULK stands talking to NGUYEN and TISHA.

TULK
I’ve got a note here that says he gave her a lot of jewelry?

TISHA
Well, yeah. But believe me, she never wanted any of that stuff.

TULK
But you did see her wearing it?

NGUYEN and TISHA look at each other.

NGUYEN
Uh, I guess maybe once or twice?

INT., SECURITY

HARPER
Yes, Nack gave me jewelry. But I never asked for it and I never wanted it –

TULK
But you accepted it.

HARPER
… Well… yes. It’s – it’s his culture. I didn’t want to, but
I was told that by not accepting it, I was being rude.

TULK
I see. And who told you that?

HARPER closes her eyes and swallows before she responds.

HARPER
…. I’m afraid that’s classified.

INT., SICKBAY

TULK sits across from COOPER.

TULK
Sounds like you’ve been trying to raise the alarm about this guy for quite a while now.

COOPER
Ever since the day I got here.

TULK
And it’s all fallen on deaf ears?

COOPER
Well, Harper can be pretty stubborn.

TULK
So you tried to warn her, and she kept carrying on with him anyway?

COOPER
Yeah, but you know how it is when you think you’re in love with someone.

INT., SECURITY

TULK sits across from HARPER.

TULK
Let’s talk some more about Nack.

HARPER
What about him?

TULK
You’re aware of his connections to organized crime?

HARPER
Of course. I ran a full background check as part of the vendor application process.

TULK
And yet, you still thought it was a good idea to hire him as a vendor, knowing
that he had convictions for smuggling and possession of stolen property?

HARPER
Well, I showed his background check to the Commander, and he just
shrugged and said it was no big deal, so… I figured it was no big deal.

TULK
Do you really think that Starfleet’s ethical standards should be set by Section 31?

HARPER looks down and fidgets uncomfortably.

INT., ENGINEERING

TULK stands talking to TISHA at her workstation.

TULK
What can you tell me about the Lieutenant Commander’s
relationship with the previous Chief Engineer?

INT., SECURITY

TULK
How did you get this job?

HARPER
What? Chief of Security?

TULK
Yes. How does a junior comms officer get to be
Chief of Security on a Federation star base?

HARPER
Well, the Commander appointed me –

TULK
Based upon the recommendation of the previous Chief Engineer?

HARPER
Yes.

TULK
Who you had a physical relationship with?

HARPER
Well, uh, technically, I guess you could say that, but that wasn’t why –

TULK leans back in his chair.

TULK
Seems like you really know your way around the men in your life.

HARPER flushes angrily, but says nothing.

TULK
How did you come to be stationed here at Star Base 80, anyway?

HARPER sighs anxiously.

HARPER
… That’s classified.

TULK
Pretty convenient for you that the answers to an awful lot of these questions are “classified.”

HARPER
(Miserable)
It’s actually not very convenient from where I’m sitting, Sir.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

TULK eyeballs NACK, who stares right back at him.

TULK
Commander Wobbin Tulk, Starfleet Internal Affairs.

NACK
Internal Affairs, huh?

TULK
I’m investigating a corruption complaint
against Lieutenant Commander Emma Harper.

NACK
That’s a joke, right?

TULK
If Starfleet wanted me to have a sense of humor, they’d
have issued me one. Now, I have a few questions for you.

NACK
Well, that’s too bad. Because I’m not a Federation citizen, 
and I don’t have to talk to you. I know my rights.

TULK
You’ve got a ship sitting in dock right now that I bet wouldn’t survive 
an inspection. I’d hate to have to impound it, especially when you and
I could clear everything up with a simple conversation.

NACK
Pal, I’ve been in and out of impound more often than the tow rigs. 
Let me save you the time and trouble - whatever the hell it is
you think you’re doing, I’m not going to cooperate. 

TULK
Look, Starfleet considers you a material witness… for now. And if you’re willing
to answer a few questions and tell us what you know, you never have to see the
inside of a cell.

NACK
Well, unfortunately for you, I’m not much of a witness. Because I didn’t
see anything, I didn’t hear anything, and I don’t remember anything. 

TULK
Tell me about your relationship with Lieutenant Commander Harper.

NACK
There isn’t one.

TULK
Oh, really?

NACK moves to walk past TULK.

NACK
Yes. And if you’ve got any more questions, you can direct them to my law-

TULK
Would it surprise you to learn that the Lieutenant Commander’s
medical records indicate that she’s six weeks pregnant?

NACK stops dead in his tracks.

INT., SECURITY

TULK sits across from HARPER.

TULK
Let me tell you what I think happened here. I think you engaged in a kickback
scheme with the base supplier, where you placed orders for worthless junk at
an obscene mark-up, and in return, he gave you some very expensive
“tokens of affection.”

HARPER
I can see how it looks that way, but I would never do that.

TULK
Except for all those orders you placed, and all that jewelry you accepted.

HARPER swallows.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

TULK watches NACK carefully.

TULK
Scans show that the paternal DNA is Ferengi.

NACK is silent.

TULK
So… you want to tell me about this non-existent relationship
between you and Lieutenant Commander Harper?

NACK
Federation law says I don’t have to talk to you without my lawyer present.

TULK
Look, my friend, you can make things easy on yourself, or not. But either way, 
one of you is going down for this. Now, Starfleet JAG looks at her, they see an
expectant mother who made a mistake. She gets a couple years, no big deal. 
You, on the other hand? You’ve got a record. If you take the fall, you’re
doing hard time. Is that really the path you want to go down?

NACK
Why don’t you go for a long walk out the airlock, and see where it takes you?

TULK
I’m going to need a list of every gift you’ve ever given Miss Harper, along with
its appraised value. I’m also going to need records of every order she’s ever
placed with you.

NACK
Well, if you think you can enforce a subpoena for business
records on Ferenginar, you’re certainly welcome to try.

With that, NACK exits down the hall, leaving TULK to stare after him.

INT., INTERROGATION ROOM

TULK stands in front of HARPER.

TULK
As an officer of the law, I hope that I don’t have to impress upon you 
the seriousness of these charges. Now, I’m going have to ask you 
not to leave this star base while you’re under investigation.

TULK exits the interrogation room, leaving the door open. Once he is gone, HARPER puts her head down on the table and sobs.

INT., INTERROGATION ROOM, A SHORT TIME LATER

HARPER is still crying when AGENT SMITH enters and takes the seat across from her.

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander, I just heard about the Internal Affairs investigation –

HARPER
Sir, I swear, I would never do anything like what they’re saying -

AGENT SMITH
You don’t have to convince me that you’re innocent, Lieutenant Commander. 
Let me make a few calls and see about getting this whole thing cleared up.

HARPER
That’s very kind of you to offer, but honestly, it doesn’t look very good, 
and I’m not sure this is the sort of thing that will just go away.

HARPER tears up.

HARPER
I didn’t mean to do anything wrong, Sir, but I’m afraid that maybe somehow -

AGENT SMITH
Don’t let Internal Affairs get inside your head. We all know this is nonsense.

AGENT SMITH sits back in his chair.

AGENT SMITH
Let me see what I can do for you. If nothing else, I might be able to arrange 
a transfer to Section 31. We take a more nuanced view of these matters 
than Starfleet does.

HARPER
(With a heavy sigh)
… Well, Sir, as much as I’d really like to say yes, you should know that I’m pregnant.

AGENT SMITH freezes. While his expression doesn’t change, this appears to take him by surprise.

HARPER
I appreciate what you’re trying to do for me, but I’m in no
condition to be the agent that Section 31 needs right now.

AGENT SMITH is silent for a moment, and when he speaks again, his voice is subdued. 

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander, I’m terribly sorry for what you’re going through…. As far as
your… condition… goes, Section 31 isn’t all beaming down into Breen encampments to
slit everyone’s throats in the middle of the night. There’s a lot of information gathering
and relationship building that I think you would be particularly well suited for.

AGENT SMITH leans across the table.

AGENT SMITH
Will you allow me to make some calls on your behalf?

HARPER nods.

HARPER
Yes, Sir. And… thank you, Sir.

AGENT SMITH nods and exits the room. After a few moments, HARPER breaks down in tears again.

EXT., STATION HALLWAY OUTSIDE SECURITY

The door slides open, and AGENT SMITH exits. As soon as he is gone, NACK slips around the corner and enters Security.

INT., INTERROGATION ROOM

As HARPER sits crying at the table, NACK appears in the doorway.

NACK
(Softly)
Emma Harper, beautiful as ever.

HARPER looks up, wipes her face, and smiles through her tears.

NACK sits down at the table across from her and takes her hand.

NACK
You okay?

HARPER
Um… not really, no. I’m, um, I’m under investigation by
Internal Affairs for participating in a kickback scheme and –

HARPER swallows and takes a deep breath.

HARPER
And I’m six weeks pregnant, which means –

NACK
Yeah.

They sit together in silence for a moment.

NACK
Well, what do you want to do?

HARPER looks down and fidgets.

HARPER
Well, I’m, um – I’m going to have the baby, and… and if you want to be involved –

NACK takes her hands in both of his.

NACK
Of course I want to be involved.

HARPER smiles.

HARPER
I was hoping you would.

NACK
Hey, let’s go get married right now. Just you and me.

HARPER chews her lip as she considers his proposal.

NACK
Angel, everyone will understand. There’s a baby on the way.

HARPER hesitates.

NACK
And listen, as long as we’re married, Starfleet can’t force us to testify against each-

HARPER jerks her hands away.

HARPER
I’m not getting married just so you can’t be compelled to
testify against me! What kind of person do you think I am?!

She turns away and crosses to a corner of the room, where she stands with her arms folded, rocking herself.

NACK
I didn’t – I just meant that….

He is quiet for a moment, and then he approaches her gently.

NACK
Look, forget I said all that. What can I do for you right now?

HARPER softens.

HARPER
I don’t know…. Just - just be my friend. I’m really scared.

NACK
Emma, I’m sorry. This is all my fault.

HARPER
No, it isn’t, Nack. You were acting in accordance with your cultural norms. 
It was my job to consider what the implications were, and obviously, I didn’t. 
If anyone’s at fault here, it’s me. And I’m willing to accept the consequences 
of my actions, but the baby -

HARPER suddenly takes NACK’s hand.

HARPER
(Urgently)
Nack, if they take me into custody, promise me that you’ll –

NACK
Emma, that’s not going to happen. I promise.

HARPER
(Anxiously)
Maybe you’re right... Agent Smith said he’d make some calls and see what he could do.

NACK
Yeah, well, Starfleet better hope Agent Smith makes this whole thing go away,
because as soon as I leave here, I’m calling my lawyer for you. And the only
thing on Ferenginar more ruthless than our accountants, is our attorneys.

HARPER
Really?

NACK
Honey, this guy’s a senior partner at Clinch & Jam. 
He eats racketeering charges for breakfast.

HARPER
… You’d do that for me?

NACK takes a second to respond, and when he does, it’s with a bittersweet smile.

NACK
Of course.

They are both silent for a moment.

NACK
… In fact, I’m going to go call him right now. Don’t you worry, because by the
time he’s done, Starfleet’s going to have everyone from the admirals to the
ensigns lining up to apologize to you. And hey, listen –

HARPER looks at him inquiringly.

NACK
Quit talking to this guy.

HARPER
I just thought –

NACK
I know what you were thinking - you put yourself in this guy’s shoes
and you thought that if someone explained to you that this was all a
big mistake, you’d understand and let them off with a stern talking-to.

HARPER nods.

NACK
Well, this guy isn’t like you. When he looks at you, he doesn’t see someone
sitting there all scared and alone. All he sees is an arrest that’ll make his
numbers look good. Angel, take it from someone who’s been on this
side of the table - don’t talk to cops.

HARPER nods again.

NACK
(With a wink)
No offense, but you’re the only one I’ve ever met that was worth a damn.

HARPER smiles, and NACK starts to leave.

HARPER
… Nack?

NACK
Yes?

HARPER
Could I ask another favor?

NACK
Of course.

HARPER
Next time you come - if it’s not too much trouble - would
you bring me some tube grubs? It’s all I’ve been craving.

NACK approaches HARPER and takes her hand.

NACK
Princess, I will corner the tube grub market on Ferenginar for you.

She smiles, and he squeezes her hand.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

As NACK exits Security, TULK comes around the corner.

TULK
Nack, just the person I was looking for.

NACK
Shove off.

TULK
Listen, I know what you’re thinking. But I’m not out to get you. It’s my job to
preserve Starfleet's integrity. Putting you away while she walks doesn’t accomplish
that. Look, you want to bring in your lawyer and work out a deal? Great. We’ll play
ball. You’re not the first guy who’s ever been taken in by a pretty girl, my friend.
Especially that one. Help me help you here, alright?

NACK fixes TULK with a hard stare. 

NACK
I’ll try and make this as simple as I can, seeing as how you don’t catch on so
quick: I will do the entire stretch for all of this, before I ever cooperate with you.

TULK
What is the nature of Miss Harper’s relationship with Agent ch’Thane?

NACK
Ask him yourself.

NACK starts to walk down the hall, and turns back.

NACK
But give me a heads up when you do, ‘cause I want to watch him
shove your teeth down your throat over what you’re insinuating.

With that, NACK exits down the hall toward the docking bay. 

INT., THE INTERROGATION ROOM, SOME TIME LATER

HARPER is still sitting in the interrogation room when AGENT SMITH enters.

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant Commander, come with me.

HARPER stands.

HARPER
Yes, Sir, but what about - ?

AGENT SMITH
I don’t think you’ll need to worry about Commander Tulk. He’s occupied at the moment.

INT., SECURITY

As AGENT SMITH and HARPER go to exit Security, they are stopped by the sound of CH’THANE’s voice thundering from a nearby interrogation room.

CH’THANE
You have five minutes to get the hell off this base!

The door slides open, and TULK backs out of the room with CH’THANE jamming his finger in TULK’s chest.

CH’THANE
Moving forward, if you so much as set foot on this station without my express
permission - in advance – I promise you, you will find out exactly why I was
recruited into Section 31!

TULK
Did you just threaten me?!

CH’THANE leans in.

CH’THANE
Yes.

TULK exits Security hastily, and CH’THANE turns to HARPER and AGENT SMITH.

CH’THANE
My office. Now.

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFFICE

CH’THANE is sitting behind his desk, and AGENT SMITH and HARPER are seated in front of him.

HARPER
Sir, I would never –

CH’THANE
Save it, Lieutenant Commander. Everyone knows that this investigation was
trumped-up by someone with a grudge in Starfleet Command. And I am
going to make it my business to find out who.

AGENT SMITH
Well, as it happens, Command is going to have a
very hard time answering any of your questions.

CH’THANE
And why is that?

AGENT SMITH
Because five minutes ago, all records of Lieutenant
Commander Emma Elizabeth Harper ceased to exist.

AGENT SMITH produces a black comm badge.

AGENT SMITH
Welcome to Section 31, Agent Harper.

HARPER
Oh, thank you, Sir!

She stands, and AGENT SMITH pins the badge on her uniform and shakes her hand.

CH’THANE approaches HARPER and shakes her hand as well, and she embraces him. With a fond smile, he pats her on the back, and she lets go.

As HARPER steps back, a thought occurs to her.

HARPER
But what about the investigation?

AGENT SMITH
We don’t have “ethics investigations” in Section 31.

CH’THANE
Been a while since anyone was caught with any.

They both chuckle at this.

AGENT SMITH
But, if it’ll make you feel better - did you, in fact,
engage in a kickback scheme with the base’s supplier?

HARPER
Of course not!

AGENT SMITH
Well then, as investigating officer, I think we can
close this out with a finding of no wrongdoing.

HARPER
(Flooded with relief)
Sir, I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done.

AGENT SMITH
No thanks necessary, Agent Harper. Here at Section 31,
we care about people, not protocol.

HARPER smiles, but CH’THANE quietly shifts his gaze over to AGENT SMITH.

AGENT SMITH
Now listen, you’ve been through a terribly stressful ordeal. I’m ordering you
to take some time off to rest and recover. In a few days, we can confer about
your new duties. I’ve already sent the uniform schematics to your replicator.

HARPER
Thank you again, Sir.

She spontaneously embraces AGENT SMITH, who appears caught off-guard. After a moment, he awkwardly pats her elbow.

AGENT SMITH
Go get some rest.

She smiles and exits CH’THANE’s office. As soon as the door slides shut, CH’THANE turns to AGENT SMITH.

CH’THANE
Tell me the truth, Smith. Was Section 31 behind this ethics complaint?

AGENT SMITH
Come on, ch’Thane, you know we never confirm or deny involvement.

CH’THANE
And the denial of her nuptial application? That was Section 31 as well?

AGENT SMITH
As I said –

CH’THANE
You broke up her engagement?!

AGENT SMITH waves this off.

AGENT SMITH
It was never my intention to break up her engagement. Once the denial was issued,
I was going to step in with an offer to let her transfer to Section 31 so she could get
married without a hitch. It never occurred to me that you were going to gum things
up by getting Starfleet to offer a compromise.

CH’THANE
You could have ruined that girl’s life! What the hell was so important – ?!

AGENT SMITH
Ferenginar, that’s what. We’ve been trying to make in-roads there for years,
and time after time, we get taken to the cleaners with no more intel to show
than what we came in with.

AGENT SMITH steps closer to CH'THANE, pointing his finger to emphasize his point. 

AGENT SMITH
We are never going to find another beautiful hyoo-mawn fee-mail who not
only speaks Ferengi, but understands their culture, isn't repulsed by their
advances, knows all 285 Rules of Acquisition by heart, and actually believes
in their Sacred Accountant - 

CH’THANE
Blessed Exchequer.

AGENT SMITH
Whatever. My point is, we’re never going to get another
opportunity like this one, and I’m not letting it slip away.

CH’THANE
And you didn’t think to bring me in on this, so I could talk to her –

AGENT SMITH
There was some concern at the Home Office
that you might be too close to the situation.

CH’THANE turns away, and then turns back to AGENT SMITH, livid.

CH’THANE
Don’t you ever put me in this position again!

AGENT SMITH
Don’t get soft, Agent. You know how the game is played.

With that, AGENT SMITH exits CH’THANE’s office. As CH’THANE stares after AGENT SMITH’s retreating figure, his eyes narrow.

INT., HARPER’S QUARTERS, THAT EVENING

The door chimes, and HARPER calls from off-screen.  

HARPER
Come in!

The door slides open and NACK enters, carrying a large box.

NACK
(Calling to her)
I’ve got the tube grubs you asked for, and Dr. Vrenek
says she can breed them in the lab so you’ll always have –

HARPER enters from the next room, wearing a form-fitting black Section 31 uniform. 

NACK
Good Lord, woman. If you weren’t already pregnant,
I’d say we should correct that sad state of affairs.

HARPER
(Pleasant but firm)
You and I are not together anymore.

NACK
We should rectify that sad state of affairs, as well.

HARPER smiles and rolls her eyes.

NACK
Come on. Let me take you to Risa for the
weekend and see if I can’t change your mind.

HARPER
You know, I’d love to, but I just started a new position
at work, and I really can't afford to take the time off.

NACK
Two days. That’s all I’m asking.

HARPER
I’m actually incredibly nauseous right now. 
Trust me, you wouldn't enjoy it.

NACK smiles.

NACK
I’ve missed you.

HARPER
I’ve missed you too.

They are both quiet for a moment.

NACK
(Indicating the box)
Well, uh, here, let me show you what I brought ….

She sits down on the couch, and he joins her.

INT., SECURITY, THE NEXT DAY

HARPER is sitting at her desk, with multiple padds stacked up in front of her. She is enthusiastically eating from an open tin of live tube grubs when COOPER enters and does a double-take.

COOPER
Oh, Harper, that’s revolting!

HARPER
Coop, I’m telling you, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

She pops another one in her mouth.

COOPER
So, I hear you’ve crossed over to the other side.

HARPER stands and raises her arms to show her new uniform.

COOPER
Well, as with all your life choices, I can’t say I understand
it in the slightest, but I hope it makes you happy.

HARPER
Thanks, Coop.

COOPER picks up a padd from her desk.

COOPER
Baby’s First Rules of Acquisition?

She sits back down, and COOPER takes the chair across from her and begins going through the various tablets on her desk.

COOPER
Mr. Spock’s Guide to Baby and Child Care?...
What to Accept When You’re Expecting: A New Moogie’s
Guide to Maximizing Push Presents and Baby Gifts?...

HARPER
You know, Cooper, I don’t know why I was so worried about telling Nack. 
He’s not the sort of person who would refuse to acknowledge his own child
 – that’s just not who he is.

COOPER
Harper –

HARPER
I know what you’re going to say, and we are not back together. We obviously
have two very different ideas about marriage, among other things. 
But he’s excited about the baby. It’s really sweet, actually.

COOPER
I’m glad, Harper. I know this is something you’ve wanted for a while.

HARPER
Thanks, Coop.

She pops another tube grub in her mouth.

COOPER
Aw, come on - that’s disgusting!

HARPER
I’m telling you, Coop – you should try one. You might like it.

COOPER looks nauseous.

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS.

POST-CREDIT SCENE

EXT., SICKBAY

MAAL is adjusting biobeds when the door chimes, and NACK enters.

NACK
Maal, I believe I owe you a drink.

MAAL
I thought you weren’t going to be around anymore?

NACK
No, Sir. In fact, you’re going to be seeing a lot more of me.

MAAL
What changed your mind?

NACK
I’m going to be a father.

MAAL
(Excited)
Ohhhhh - Harper - ?

NACK nods proudly, and MAAL embraces him and claps him on the back. 

MAAL
Congratulations!

NACK
Well, with any luck, the kid will inherit my good looks.

MAAL and NACK exit Sickbay, headed toward the Officer’s Lounge.

END POST-CREDIT SCENE

Chapter 13: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 5 Episode 2 Both Worlds

Summary:

The junior officers' poker game is back, and we get an appearance from an old friend.

Pure light, fluffy comedy.

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 5 Episode 2 Both Worlds

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS, 

NGUYEN, GREELEY, MAAL, TISHA, and RAMIREZ all gather around a card table.

RAMIREZ
It's been way too long since we did this, you guys.

NGUYEN picks up the desk and begins shuffling. 

NGUYEN
Yeah, sorry, being Interim Chief Engineer has been crazy busy. 
I had no idea how much work our senior officers actually do.

TISHA
I feel like I'm constantly exhausted, and there are two of us.

GREELEY
For real, I don't know how you guys do it.

NGUYEN returns his attention to the deck in his hands.

NGUYEN
Okay, people, everybody ante in. Eights and one-eyed jacks are wild.

NGUYEN begins to deal the cards, and the players toss their chips in the ante.

RAMIREZ
I feel the same way about the L-T- - I mean Agent Harper.

MAAL
It's hard to get used to.

RAMIREZ nods.

RAMIREZ
I mean, she's, like, pregnant and training to be a spy for Section 31?
How badass is that? I have no idea how she does it, because you know
training has got to be grueling.

INT., SECURITY

HARPER is sitting behind her desk, reading from a padd. Several more padds are stacked up on her desk, next to an open tin. 

As she reads, she blinks several times and shakes her head in an attempt to focus. Finally, she taps the padd and sets it on her desk. She leans back in her chair and presses her palms against her forehead.

HARPER
(To herself)
Jeepers, I thought I'd never finish all that reading. 

The door chimes, and she sits up straight. 

HARPER
Come in.

The door slides open and AGENT SMITH enters, carrying another stack of padds.

AGENT SMITH
How is it going, Agent Harper?

HARPER
Good, Sir. I just finished all of the preliminary briefing reports.

AGENT SMITH 
(Handing HARPER the padds)
Glad to hear it, because the specialized briefing reports are in.

As HARPER accepts her newest reading assignment with a heavy sigh, AGENT SMITH looks over at the tin on her desk.

AGENT SMITH
Say, are those tube grubs?

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

MAAL tosses a couple of chips in the ante.

MAAL 
Yeah, I know Coop worries about her burning out. He's been trying to get her 
to delegate some of her Security duties, but Harper really loves her job.

TISHA
I get it. I mean, being Chief of Security on a top-level secured
facility probably comes with a lot of danger and excitement. 

INT., CREWMAN'S QUARTERS

HARPER is standing in between two BINARS, who are chattering angrily at the same time. She looks exhausted.

HARPER
Okay, I want to help you get this sorted out. 
But you have to talk one at a time. And slowly, please.

One BINAR begins chittering in a measured tone, but after a moment, the SECOND BINAR jumps in, and they resume their simultaneous cacophony of communication. HARPER rubs her temples.

HARPER
For the last time, calling each other names isn't going to help anything.

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

MAAL
Honestly, you guys, I worry about Coop burning out sometimes. I mean, he's just been
throwing himself into work lately, and working these crazy hours.… Sometimes it almost
seems like he’s avoiding something.

TISHA
Like what?

MAAL
That’s the thing - I don’t know.… 

MAAL shrugs.

MAAL
Maybe it’s nothing. 

RAMIREZ
Well, you know, if you go into medicine because you're
passionate about it, it probably doesn't feel like work.

INT., CREWMAN'S QUARTERS

COOPER stands before a very uncomfortable-looking ENSIGN GORKK.

GORKK
... I, uh, I guess I wasn't paying attention and I... accidentally sat on it...?

COOPER grimly dons a latex glove, pulling it down his wrist with a sharp snap. 

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

TISHA looks around the table at the others.

TISHA
I'll tell you guys who puts in crazy hours - the Commander. I see
him all the time when I'm running down the day with Gamma Shift.

INT., STATION HALLWAY, EARLY MORNING HOURS

TISHA is walking toward Engineering with a coffee cup in hand, when she encounters CH'THANE coming the other way.

TISHA
Good morning, Sir.

CH'THANE
(Dourly)
Eh.

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS

NGUYEN
And I see him every night when I’m handing out assignments to Delta Shift.

INT., STATION HALLWAY, LATE AT NIGHT 

NGUYEN is walking toward Engineering holding a padd, when he encounters CH’THANE coming the other way.

NGUYEN
Good evening, Sir.

CH’THANE
(Dourly)
Eh.

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS

GREELEY discards one of the cards in their hand.

GREELEY
Well, yeah, think of all the stuff he’s got to do. He’s got to run the station -

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE

CH’THANE sits behind his desk. HARPER, COOPER, TISHA and NGUYEN stand in front of him.

CH’THANE 
Anything on fire?

ALL FOUR IN UNISON 
No.

CH’THANE
(Tired)
Good. Let me know if that changes.

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS

GREELEY
He’s got meetings with admirals and diplomats -

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE 

CH’THANE sits behind his desk, talking to ADMIRAL VASSERY on a viewscreen.

ADMIRAL VASSERY
… And finally, a delegation of diplomats will be stopping over at
Star Base 80, including the Betazed ambassador, Lwaxana Troi.

CH’THANE 
(In a tone of dread)
Oh, dear God.

INT., NGUYEN’S QUARTERS 

GREELEY
And he’s got to do all of that on top of whatever
crazy top secret stuff he does for Section 31 - 

INT., CH’THANE’S OFFICE 

CH’THANE sits behind his desk, reading a padd. The door chimes and AGENT SMITH enters, carrying a stack of padds, which he sets on CH'THANE'S desk.

AGENT SMITH
The classified regional briefings are in.

CH’THANE nods with resignation.

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

RAMIREZ draws two cards.

RAMIREZ
Well, they can do all that stuff because we pick up
the slack and make sure the grunt work gets done.

INT., CREWMAN'S QUARTERS

An exhausted RAMIREZ sits on the couch, consoling a sobbing BINAR.

RAMIREZ
Sometimes we say things we don't mean when we're upset. Have you tried apologizing?

The BINAR sniffles and burbles something.

RAMIREZ
Well, that's not quite what I meant - 

The BINAR chatters animatedly.

RAMIREZ
... Has anyone ever suggested that you guys might be a little codependent?

The BINAR chitters in outrage, and RAMIREZ rests her head in her hands.

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

MAAL discards a card from his hand, and takes another.

MAAL
No kidding. Try being the only other officer in a two-man medical department....

INT., SICKBAY

An OPS CREWMAN is sitting on an exam table. His arm is stuck inside the mouth of a squid-like creature up to the elbow. MAAL stands beside him. 

MAAL
I don't know, Coop, I really think - 

COOPER
(Over MAAL's comm badge)
Ensign, I'm in a crewman's quarters right now dealing
with a medical issue of a highly personal nature.

MAAL 
But - 

COOPER
Is it stuck anywhere that would normally be covered by a uniform?

MAAL
Well, uh, not really, I guess, but - 

COOPER
Then figure it out. I'll return to Sickbay when I'm done here. 

MAAL taps his comm badge closed.

MAAL
(To the OPS CREWMAN)
Okay, uh... Have you tried tickling it?

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

TISHA tosses a chip in the ante.

TISHA
You guys, even as department heads, we're still
picking up slack. Only now, it's from from Command.

INT., MESS HALL

TISHA stands next to a replicator conversing with a glowing ball of HOVERING LIGHT.

TISHA
Ambassador, on behalf of Starfleet, please allow me to offer our apologies.
While we did program your dietary requirements into the replicators, we simply
didn't foresee the difficulties that photon-based life-forms might encounter - 

The HOVERING LIGHT hums angrily.

TISHA
Yes, I understand. That must be very frustrating for you.

The HOVERING LIGHT hums louder.

TISHA
Well, of course, I - 

The HOVERING LIGHT hums furiously, and TISHA taps her comm badge.

TISHA
Commander, Ambassador Xwerbl is demanding to speak to whoever is in charge.

CH'THANE
(Over TISHA's comm badge, with a resigned sigh)
... I'll be right there.

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

NGUYEN looks up from his cards.

NGUYEN
You guys, I had no idea what being a department head actually entails. 

INT., STATION HALLWAY

NGUYEN is working at an open panel on the wall, when CH'THANE and LWAXANA TROI round the corner.

LWAXNA TROI
... And then, Commander, I was thinking that once you've remodeled 
the living quarters - which you absolutely must do because I've never 
been in such cramped conditions in all my life - why, there's barely
room for Mr. Homn to sleep standing up in the corner!

CH'THANE
We're happy to provide your valet with his own quarters - 

LWAXANA TROI
Oh, Heavens, no! What if I need something in the middle of the night? 
Anyway, I've got several more ideas about how to improve this station, 
which we can discuss tonight over dinner in my - 

CH'THANE
(Spotting NGUYEN)
Lieutenant Nguyen!

NGUYEN puts down his tools and closes the panel.

NGUYEN
Yes, Sir?

CH'THANE
Ambassador Troi, this is Lieutenant Steven Nguyen. 
He's one of the station's Interim Chief Engineers.

LAWAXANA TROI proffers her hand, palm down, to be kissed. After a moment's uncertainty, NGUYEN shakes it with as little awkwardness as he can manage. 

NGUYEN
A pleasure to meet you, Madame Ambassador.

LWAXANA TROI
Oh my. Well, aren't you young and handsome? And... strapping?

CH'THANE
Lieutenant, why don't you give the ambassador a tour of... something.

NGUYEN
Sir?

CH'THANE
That's an order.

CH'THANE departs quickly down the hall, leaving NGUYEN alone with LWAXANA TROI.

LWAXANA TROI
(Batting her lashes at NGUYEN)
You know, there are a lot of things that a young man
like you could learn from a... slightly older woman.

NGUYEN
Uh - 

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

GREELEY shuffles the deck.

GREELEY
So Johnson, Ramirez - 

TISHA
What?

GREELEY
You guys are friends with the Chief of Security. What's the goss?

RAMIREZ
About what?

GREELEY
About what’s going on with her and Nack? You can't tell me that one minute they’re getting
married, and the next minute, they're calling off their engagement, and now she's pregnant,
and everything's cool? Nuh-uh. There’s got to be crazy mad drama going on behind the scenes.

RAMIREZ
(With a shrug)
Not that she's said. She actually speaks well of him.

TISHA
Yeah, it seems like everything's fine. 

MAAL
Uh, so, about that - 

All eyes turn to MAAL.

MAAL
There's, um, there's drama, all right. But, it, uh - it isn't between Nack and Harper

INT., STATION HALLWAY OUTSIDE CH’THANE’S OFFICE 

HARPER approaches the door to CH’THANE’S office, but stops abruptly as she overhears the following half of a muffled conversation:

NACK
Commander, if it was up to me, we’d have gotten married the moment I found
out…. Yes, of course I asked…. Well, I don’t know what more you want me to do -
 you know how stubborn she is…. Yes, of course I’m going to do the right thing
by everyone involved….

After a moment, the door slides open and a very rattled NACK emerges. He stops short when he sees HARPER.

NACK
How much of that did you hear?

HARPER smiles.

HARPER 
I’ll talk to him again. 

NACK
Emma, I‘ve always prided myself on maintaining good relationships with my
customers. I'm really trying here, but I don't know what more I can do - 

HARPER
He just needs a little time to process everything. He'll calm down.

NACK nods, and then looks up at HARPER.

NACK
Hey, how are you? Do you need anything?

HARPER
Oh, I'm fine. It's mostly just nausea and indigestion at this point. Nothing exciting - 

A thought occurs to her.

HARPER
You know, the Commander's having a poker game on
Saturday with the department heads. Maybe if you came - 

NACK
No. I get what you're trying to do here, and I appreciate it, but that could only end
one of two ways: either the Commander loses money to me, which won't improve
his feelings about the situation at all - 

HARPER grimaces sympathetically.

NACK
Or worse, I let him win. He'd see through that in a second.

HARPER
Oof.... Yeah, it's probably best if you don't come. 

NACK nods.

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

RAMIREZ tosses a chip into the ante.

RAMIREZ
Hold on, let me get this straight - you guys are going to be playing
poker with the big man and the senior officers tomorrow night?

NGUYEN
(With a shrug)
Yeah. What are we going to do - tell him no?

GREELEY
Oh, please, like you guys aren't pumped to be invited to the big game.

TISHA
Well, I mean, sure, but we're going to be playing poker with
our boss. It's not going to be fun and relaxing like it is here.

RAMIREZ
(Teasing)
Should you guys even be at a lower decks poker game now that you're both The Man?

NGUYEN
Well, since we're in my quarters, it'd be kind of awkward if I wasn't invited.
And besides, Johnson's right. It's a mandatory hang-out with the boss. 

GREELEY
Not just any boss - a boss who could vaporize you and erase all records of you from existence.

TISHA
Not helpful, Greeley.

RAMIREZ
Well, you have to tell us what the senior officers' poker game is like.

NGUYEN
You guys, it's probably going to be awkward and boring.

INT., CH'THANE'S OFFICE

The office is outfitted with dark wood paneling and velvet brocade wallpaper, resembling a drawing room in turn-of-the-century London. A string quartet plays chamber music in the background. 

CH'THANE, HARPER, NGUYEN, TISHA, COOPER and DR. VRENEK sit around a gaming table, attired as proper turn-of-the-century ladies and gentlemen, and all of them, except for NGUYEN and TISHA, speak in posh British accents.

CH'THANE adjusts his monocle and studies his hand.

CH'THANE
Upon reflection... I believe that I shall stand.

CH'THANE looks to his left.

CH'THANE
Miss Harper?

HARPER looks over her hand.

HARPER
I believe I shall stand as well.... Lovely weather we've been having.

The others nod and murmur in agreement, and COOPER turns to NGUYEN.

COOPER
Mr. Nguyen, are you in agreement that we are, in fact, 
experiencing particularly clement weather as of late? 

NGUYEN
Uh... I mean, we're on a space station, so....

DR. VRENEK
A common misconception. What you fail to understand, Mr. Nguyen, is that there is a comet
seventeen light years from here which, as we speak, is passing through a nebula comprised
largely of helium, duronium, and silica dust. The heat from the nearest star - a brown dwarf,
not incidentally - is vaporizing the ice from the comet, thus setting off a reaction between
the duronium and the silica, which, when combined with the comet's own mineral
composition, increases the brightness of space for twenty-five light years in all
directions by six percent - which means that we are, indeed, experiencing
weather of the most genial sort.

CH'THANE, COOPER, HARPER and VRENEK all titter with condescending laughter, as NGUYEN and TISHA exchange uncomfortable glances.

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

GREELEY discards two cards from their hand.

GREELEY
Yeah, right. Like playing poker with a couple of Section 31 agents isn't going to be cool as hell.

INT., CH'THANE'S OFFICE

The office now looks like the back room of a grimy dive bar, with sawdust on the floor and empty liquor bottles scattered about. 

CH'THANE, HARPER, NGUYEN, TISHA, COOPER and DR. VRENEK all sit around a well-worn poker table. Everyone is dressed like members of an apocalyptic biker gang, and CH'THANE is wearing an eyepatch, while COOPER smokes a cigar.

HARPER
... And then I told that Klingon general, "You're just lucky we're on the same side... for now."

She spits on the floor, reaches into her cleavage, and tosses several poker chips and a gaudy Ferengi tiepin into the middle of the table.

HARPER
I see your bets... and I raise.

COOPER
(In a gravely voice)
I'm feeling lucky as well.

He tosses in several chips.

CH'THANE
What about you, Mr. Nguyen?... Are you feeling lucky?

NGUYEN looks at his cards.

NGUYEN
Uh... I guess so? 

With all eyes on him, NGUYEN tentatively slides some chips into the ante. CH'THANE chuckles.

CH'THANE
Me too. So, let's make this interesting.

CH'THANE pulls a large knife and drives the tip of the blade into the table, leaving the knife handle quivering from the force of his blow. 

CH'THANE
Loser forfeits his trigger finger.

NGUYEN
What?!

CH'THANE
It's an old Chal'Noth tradition. And when you go deep undercover for long
enough, well… let's just say there are some habits you bring back home.

CH'THANE rips open his shirt to reveal a necklace made entirely from the finger bones of various alien species.

NGUYEN
Uh - 

CH'THANE
Call.

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

TISHA rolls her eyes.

TISHA
Nguyen, Greeley, quit being stupid. It's going to be just like our regular department
head meetings, except we're going to have to pretend like we're having fun. 

INT., CH'THANE'S OFFICE

CH'THANE's office looks normal, and CH'THANE, HARPER, NGUYEN, TISHA, COOPER and DR. VRENEK all sit around the poker table, wearing their uniforms. 

TISHA is attempting to focus on her hand of cards, despite being visibly bored. She shakes her head and blinks her eyes several times.

CH'THANE
... And then immediately following the four-hour handshake ceremony with the Lortian
ambassador - I sent the protocols to your padds, so be sure you be sure you commit
them to memory - there will be a presentation from the cetacean ambassador about the
fractal rotations of non-binary moons. That should take another three hours. After
that, there will be a fifteen minute recess before Starfleet brass presents a skit they're
calling "Gorn With the Wind." The admirals have been working on it all year, and
they think it's hilarious, so we're all going to have to pretend to laugh. Now, with
all that out of the way, Lieutenant Johnson, do you stand or do you raise?

TISHA, who has nodded off on NGUYEN's shoulder, startles awake.

TISHA
Uh - what, now?

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

Everyone shakes their heads sympathetically.

RAMIREZ
(To NGUYEN and TISHA)
Man, you guys can't catch a break, huh?

NGUYEN shrugs.

NGUYEN
Could be worse, I guess. 

GREELEY
Yeah. At least we don't all report to Dr. Vrenek.

INT., THE SCIENCE LAB

The Science Lab looks like it came straight from the Captain Proton holonovels, and thunder and lightening periodically crashes outside the station's viewports, throwing weird shadows on the wall.

NGUYEN awakens to find himself strapped to a table. As he looks around, trying to make sense of his surroundings, he spots a tall chair across the room, facing away from him. As he watches, the figure in the chair slowly turns, revealing herself to be DR. VRENEK. 

VRENEK
Good. You're awake.

She rises from her chair and makes her way slowly across the room towards NGUYEN. She wields a riding crop, which she periodically slaps against her palm.

NGUYEN
Uh, what's going on? The last thing I remember
was the department heads' poker game, and then - 

VRENEK
Ah, yes.... You know, most of your human traditions are facile and pointless, but
I find that games of strategy and chance afford me an opportunity to engage my
senior officers when they are at their most... devious.

NGUYEN
... Is that a good thing?

VRENEK
(Running the riding crop along his body and up to his chin as she speaks)
Not in your case, Mr. Nguyen. While you may have made an earnest attempt at
deception, your pathetic efforts have revealed to me that you will never possess
the ruthless cunning of a Romulan officer.

NGUYEN
But I'm an engineer!

VRENEK
Not for long.

She turns away from him.

VRENEK
Release the hounds!

NGUYEN's eyes widen in terror as a door slides open, and PINKY and EUGENE emerge, snarling and breathing fire. 

As soon as they spot him, they screech and lick their chops, sending acidic saliva flying all over, melting beakers and test tubes and striking the walls and floor with an ominous sizzle. With a ferocious roar, PINKY and EUGENE charge toward NGUYEN, who can only gaze in horror at the looming specter of death bearing down on him.

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

TISHA puts her cards down.

TISHA
Will you guys stop? Dr. Vrenek's fine, she's just a little... odd. 
And her sleep paralysis demon dogs are actually very friendly.

RAMIREZ
You guys want to know what I heard about Dr. Vrenek?

The others lean in eagerly.

RAMIREZ
I heard that she and the Commander have a thing.

Everyone around the table exchanges incredulous looks.

NGUYEN
... Dr. Vrenek?

RAMIREZ
Yeah. So, Gorkk said that he heard someone on Delta Shift say that the rumor going
around Ops is that Dr. Vrenek is the only person on the station that the Commander
calls by her first name.

GREELEY
... Dr. Vrenek has a first name?

TISHA
Of course she does, Greeley! What did you think it was - Doctor?!

GREELEY
Fine, so what is her first name?

TISHA and NGUYEN exchange uncertain looks.

TISHA
I have no idea.

RAMIREZ
(To NGUYEN and TISHA)
Well, you've been in the same room with the two of them. What do you guys think?

INT., THE CONFERENCE ROOM

CH'THANE is sitting at the head of the table, and HARPER, COOPER, NGUYEN, TISHA and DR. VRENEK are all seated around him.

CH'THANE
... And with that out of the way, I'd like to quickly run through the department status reports - 

VRENEK stands abruptly.

VRENEK
Anything of note in the Science Lab is too important to be discussed in present company.
And since I have no interest in the tedious minutia of the other departments, I request
permission to return to the lab. My time is valuable, and could be put to better use than
listening to the inane prattlings of my colleagues.

Everyone sits in stunned silence. After a moment, CH'THANE nods, and DR. VRENEK heads toward the conference room door.

CH'THANE
Thank you for your time, Dr. Vrenek. As always, we appreciate your - 

The door slides open with a chime, and as DR. VRENEK exits, it slides closed behind her.

CH'THANE
... patience.

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

Everyone looks around the table at each other.

RAMIREZ
... Yeah, that sounds like it could go either way.

MAAL
I don't know, you guys, I could see the two of them being
secretly in love. It's kind of romantic, if you think about it.

GREELEY
Yeah, but what do you think "romantic" looks like for a
Romulan mad scientist and a ruthless Andorean secret agent?

INT., CH'THANE'S OFFICE

CH'THANE and DR. VRENEK are alone, staring at each other from across the room. 

As lightening flashes, DR. VRENEK's bosom heaves under the smouldering intensity of CH'THANE's gaze. Overcome with passion, they make their way towards each other and - 

TISHA
(In voiceover)
Oh, hell no! 

INT., NGUYEN'S QUARTERS

TISHA
Nguyen and I have to sit in a room with these people tomorrow night, 
and I do not need those images in my head! End of discussion. 

RAMIREZ picks up the deck and begins to shuffle.

RAMIREZ
Well, you guys have got to tell us what goes on in the senior officers' poker game.

NGUYEN
Okay, but I'm telling you, it’s going to be boring.

INT., CH'THANE'S OFFICE, THE NEXT EVENING

CH'THANE is sitting at a poker table shuffling cards as COOPER, HARPER, NGUYEN and TISHA file in and take their seats. 

TISHA looks around.

TISHA
Where's Dr. Vrenek?

CH'THANE
Since we now have two Chief Engineers, we no longer need the Chief Science Officer
in order to have a fifth. In light of that, Dr. Vrenek said that if she was required to
attend, she would create a virus that would give everyone on this station
spontaneous and unpredictable episodes of dysentery. Starting with me. 

COOPER, HARPER, NGUYEN and TISHA exchange covert glances of alarm. 

COOPER
(To NGUYEN and TISHA)
... So, have you guys played poker before?

CH'THANE
Sure they have. As I understand it, the lower decks have their own regular poker game. 

NGUYEN and TISHA exchange surprised glances.

COOPER
Really? Maal never mentioned it to me.

NGUYEN
Well, Sir, uh, we do sometimes get together and play a few hands.

CH'THANE nods and starts dealing.

CH'THANE
So what goes on at these poker games?

TISHA
Oh, uh, well - 

HARPER
Commander, you can't ask them that - everyone knows that the lower decks poker
games are where junior officers get together to gossip and vent about the senior staff.

CH'THANE
(Mildly amused)
Is that right?

NGUYEN
Uh - 

COOPER
I'm starting to understand why Maal never motioned it to me.

HARPER
You guys, it's harmless. It's just a way to bond and commiserate 
with other people who also have no say in the major decisions that 
affect their lives. It's a healthy way to blow off steam... 
You know, there was a lower decks poker game on the NX-01.

COOPER
Really? 

HARPER
Yeah, I sat in a few times. It was mostly just complaining 
about the food and the Vulcans - oh, that reminds me! 

HARPER leans in conspiratorially.

HARPER
So, there was this crazy inter-department betting pool that was taking odds
 on whether or not the Chief Engineer - really cute, by the way, 
and that Southern accent? Hoo boy!

HARPER fans herself.

HARPER
Anyway, so people were making bets on whether or not he would get together with the
assigned Science Officer from the Vulcan High Command. It was the craziest thing
you've ever heard! I mean, don't get me wrong, she was beautiful, but holy moly,
talk about having a stick up your butt - 

COOPER, NGUYEN and TISHA exchange incredulous glances.

COOPER
Uh, Harper - 

HARPER
What?

COOPER
Are you talking about Trip Tucker?

HARPER
Yeah, why?

TISHA
Girl, I don't know how to tell you this, but they totally - 

HARPER
No way!... T'Pol?

COOPER, TISHA and NGUYEN all nod. 

HARPER
... Huh.

She sits back in her chair as she contemplates this.

HARPER
... I guess I owe Ensign Mayweather a six pack. 

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS

Chapter 14: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 S5, E 3 Ask Not What the Federation Can Do for You, Part 1: The Conspirators

Summary:

The Temporal Bureau of Investigations is back, and this time, Cooper finds himself at the center of one of history's most hotly debated conspiracies.

Notes:

CONTENT WARNING - This is a time travel episode that takes place in 1963, and contains brief depictions of sexism and sexual harassment. If these would be triggering for you, please consider carefully whether you wish to read this episode. This two-part episode is self-contained and can be skipped without missing any series plot points.

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 S5, E 3 Ask Not What the Federation Can Do for You, Part 1: The Conspirators

INT., SICKBAY

COOPER and MAAL are operating on a PATIENT, when COOPER's comm badge sounds.

CH'THANE
(Over COOPER's comm badge)
Doctor, report to the conference room.

MAAL taps COOPER's comm badge for him.

COOPER
Commander, I'm in the middle of operating on a pa-

CH'THANE
I'm sorry, Doctor, I wasn't clear. Report to the conf-

COOPER
(With a sigh)
Report to the conference room now
Right. Got it. On my way.

He taps his comm badge closed.

MAAL
Coop, please don't - 

COOPER
Maal, I have to.

MAAL
You don't understand - 

COOPER
Maal, we're in the middle of surgery. I don't have a choice.

MAAL
But - 

COOPER
(Removing his surgical mask, gloves and gown)
EMH, this is the Chief Medical Officer 
requesting that you take over bunion surgery.

As COOPER exits Sickbay, the EMH materializes in surgical scrubs.

EMH
(To MAAL)
Well, Ensign, it looks like I'll be dealing with an 
unsightly and superfluous lump of flesh and bone 
today... Oh, and the patient's bunions, of course. 

MAAL's shoulders slump in resignation. 

ROLL OPENING CREDITS.

INT., CONFERENCE ROOM

COOPER enters the conference room to find CH'THANE, HARPER, AGENT SMITH, AGENT TARN, and AGENT DEVOS seated around the conference table. He stops short.

COOPER
Okay, what's going on here?

TARN
The Temporal Bureau of Investigations has uncovered 
a Romulan plot to prevent Earth from founding the
 United Federation of Planets.

COOPER
No. Absolutely not. Find someone else.

AGENT SMITH
Why, Doctor, what's wrong?

COOPER
The last time the TBI and Section 31 teamed up to stop a plot
 against the Federation, I had to jump out of an airplane
 with a bomb. I still have nightmares about it!

CH'THANE
Doctor, relax. There are no bombs or planes this time.

AGENT SMITH
You'll barely have to do anything at all. In fact, you're 
going to spend most of the mission just sitting on your ass.

COOPER lowers his guard a little.

COOPER
(Cautiously)
Okay, then... what will I be doing?

CH'THANE
You're going to stand in for President Kennedy at Dealey Plaza.

COOPER
What?!?

TARN
The TBI has reason to believe that the Romulans are 
sending agents back in time to assassinate the President -

COOPER
Why?! President Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald. 
Everyone knows that! 

Silence settles in

COOPER
…. Right?

COOPER looks around the room.

COOPER
... Am I crazy?!

TARN
No, he wasn't.

COOPER is speechless in his astonishment.

DEVOS
The "Kennedy Assassination," as you understand it, is a hoax.
 By 1963, the President was so strung out on pills that he 
could barely function, and what functioning he was capable
 of was mostly in bed with women who weren't Mrs. Kennedy.

TARN
In the interest of national security, Agent Hoover 
persuaded the President to "take early retirement" 
and allow Vice-President Johnson to succeed him.

COOPER
Did you just say "Agent Hoover?" As in, "J. Edgar?"

CH’THANE
Don't ask questions above your clearance level, Doctor.

DEVOS
There was some concern that the President's 'extracurricular activities'
 might be discovered if he resigned and the media started sniffing around,
 so they decided to stage an assassination. No one likes to speak ill of 
the dead, after all. Anyway, following his "untimely demise," the 
President moved to France and lived out the rest of his days on a 
vineyard under the name Jean-Francois Picard. I understand that
 he and his second wife were very happy together.

COOPER rubs his temples as he attempts to process all of this.

COOPER
Okay, uh... not to sound callous, but, um - why are we
 attempting to stop the Romulans from assassinating 
someone who everyone thinks is dead anyway?

TARN
Because if Kennedy is actually assassinated, rather than stepping
 down by secret agreement, then Vice-President Lyndon Baines Johnson
 becomes an overly-cautious, paranoid man who scuppers the Civil 
Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act, and America's space program, 
causing him to lose the 1964 election to Barry Goldwater. President
 Goldwater then re-starts the space program and appoints Richard Nixon
 to head it up, and Nixon makes a deal with the Romulans to acquire
 warp drive technology almost a hundred years before Zefram Cochran
 would have invented it. In return, Earth allies itself with the 
Romulans and they jointly declare war on Vulcan. The Romulans
 gain control of the alpha quadrant, and the United Federation
 of Planets never comes into existence.

COOPER 
But - but Nixon was elected in 1968! What's to prevent
 him from making a deal with the Romulans then?

DEVOS
Doctor, does the word "Watergate" ring a bell?

COOPER's jaw drops.

COOPER
... Seriously?

TARN
(Elbowing AGENT SMITH)
I don't know, why don't you ask "Deep Throat" over here?

COOPER turns his dis-believing stare on AGENT SMITH.

COOPER
... You're - ?

AGENT SMITH acknowledges this with an eyebrow raise and a flicker of a half-smile.

COOPER slowly sinks into a conference room chair as he attempts to reconstruct his understanding of reality.

CH'THANE
Perhaps we should fill the Doctor in on the
 plan before his mind shatters completely?

TARN
(With an eyeroll)
Civilians.

AGENT SMITH
(To COOPER)
The plan is to meet the President and Mrs. Kennedy at Carswell Air 
Force base and switch places while Air Force One is in flight to 
Dallas. Once we land, Tarn and Devos will chauffeur Mr. and Mrs.
 Kennedy to a private airfield where she will fly back to the White
 House, and he will fly to Marseille. You and Agent Harper will 
take their place in the Presidential motorcade, and the staged 
assassination will take place in Dealey Plaza as planned.

COOPER
Someone's going to shoot me?

HARPER
It's okay, Coop. The phaser will be set to stun.

AGENT SMITH
And besides, I'm a very good shot.

COOPER
(To AGENT SMITH)
You're the shooter?!

AGENT SMITH smirks at him.

CH'THANE
Relax, Doctor, your life will be in Agent Smith's capable hands.

COOPER
Is that supposed to make me feel better about this?!

AGENT SMITH
Calm down, you'll be fine. You're going to wake up in 
Parkland Memorial Hospital with a very slight headache.

COOPER
What about the Romulan assassins?

TARN
Our best people are working on it.

COOPER
You haven't caught them yet?!

HARPER
Well, considering that none of us are speaking Romulan right
 now, it's a pretty safe bet that they get caught eventually.

COOPER
Eventually?! Harper, I - 

HARPER turns to COOPER and takes his hand.

HARPER
Cooper, it's my job on this assignment to make sure that nothing 
happens to you. You are my best friend, and I'll be right next
 to you, holding your hand every step of the way. 

COOPER
You will?

AGENT SMITH
Agent Harper isn't just tagging along to play First Lady. She's 
your assigned security agent, and she's a superior marksman.

HARPER
Top of my class at the Naval Academy.

COOPER
(To HARPER)
You'll be there with me?

HARPER
I'll be glued to your side, keeping 
you safe the entire time. I promise

COOPER
(Reluctantly)
... Well... uh... okay, I guess.

AGENT SMITH
Glad to have you aboard, Mr. President.

TARN
Don't worry. The TBI has only lost two,
 maybe three, world leaders. Tops.

COOPER
What?!

TARN, DEVOS, CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH all chuckle at this, and COOPER drops his head into his hands.

EST., EXT., A HIGHWAY IN FORT WORTH, MORNING, NOVEMBER 22, 1963, 

A black 1963 Cadillac Fleetwood Series 75 limousine speeds down the highway toward Carswell Air Force Base, as Dinah Washington and Brook Benton's 'Baby (You've Got What It Takes)' plays on the radio.

INT.., THE CADILLAC LIMOUSINE

DEVOS is at the wheel, and TARN is in the front passenger seat. AGENT SMITH is in the rear-facing jump seat in the back. All three men are wearing conservative black suits and neckties, and AGENT SMITH is, as always, wearing his mirrored aviator sunglasses.

COOPER and HARPER are seated next to each other in the back seat. He is wearing a pilot’s uniform and his hair has been combed, teased, and styled into JFK's signature side-part. HARPER is dressed as a flight attendant, and she is wearing the First Lady’s brunette bouffant coiffure.

COOPER catches sight of his reflection in the rear view mirror and frowns.

COOPER
Are you sure we shouldn't have had surgery? People
 are going to know that I’m not the President.

AGENT SMITH
Oh, relax, Doctor. You're the right height, the right build, 
and your hair is... passable. There's enough of a resemblance
 as long as no one gets a good look at you up close.

COOPER
But the media and the photographers - 

TARN
(Over his shoulder)
Doctor, all we need is a man who can pass for the President 
when seen from a moving car in an age where photography 
was one step up from a Rorschach blot. You’ll be fine.

AGENT SMITH
If color film weren't so prevalent, 
we could have had ch'Thane do this.

TARN
He would have complained a lot less.

COOPER crosses his arms cantankerously. 

AGENT SMITH
Let's run through the plan one more time. 

EST., EXT., CARSWELL AIR FORCE BASE

The sky is clear and blue, and a Boeing VC-137C sits on the tarmac.

AGENT SMITH
(In voiceover)
When we reach Carswell, the five of us will
 board Air Force One before it takes off.

HARPER, COOPER, TARN, DEVOS, and AGENT SMITH mount the steps to Air Force One, and enter the plane.

INT., AIR FORCE ONE

PRESIDENT KENNEDY and JACKIE KENNEDY, flanked by two SECRET SERVICE AGENTS, stand and shake hands with TARN, DEVOS, COOPER, and AGENT SMITH. 

AGENT SMITH
(In voiceover)
Everyone believes that we're FBI agents coordinating this operation
 with the Secret Service. Except for you, Agent Harper. It's 1963, 
so your cover story is that you're from the FBI steno pool.

JACKIE KENNEDY greets HARPER warmly with a kiss on each cheek.

AGENT SMITH
(In voiceover)
Once on board, the two of you will trade places with the Kennedys.

HARPER emerges from the Air Force One lavatory wearing JACKIE KENNEDY's pink pillbox hat and suit. She approaches JACKIE KENNEDY, who is now wearing HARPER's stewardess uniform. 

In the background, COOPER and PRESIDENT KENNEDY stand side-by-side. KENNEDY is wearing COOPER's pilot's uniform, and COOPER has changed into KENNEDY's charcoal suit and navy tie. 

AGENT SMITH
(In voiceover)
Once we reach Love Field, you two will deboard the
 plane with the President's Secret Service detail.

COOPER and HARPER emerge from the plane and make their way down the steps, smiling and waving to the assembled crowds. They approach a black 1961 Lincoln Continental convertible, and a SECRET SERVICE AGENT opens the door for them. 

COOPER and HARPER take their seats in the back of the car, and it pulls away as the crowds cheer.

AGENT TARN
(In voiceover)
Devos and I will take the President and 
Mrs. Kennedy to a private airfield nearby.

As the Lincoln Continental pulls away, TARN, and DEVOS disembark Air Force One with PRESIDENT KENNEDY and JACKIE KENNEDY, dressed as a pilot and stewardess, respectively. Unnoticed by the crowds, they all get into a waiting Cadillac Fleetwood limousine and drive away in the opposite direction from the presidential motorcade. 

AGENT SMITH
(In voiceover)
I'll be taking a separate car to the Dallas book depository.

Finally, AGENT SMITH emerges from the plane. He gets behind the wheel of a nondescript black sedan and drives away, unnoticed by anyone.

EST., EXT., DEALEY PLAZA, DALLAS, 1963

It's a bright, sunny day, and crowds line the street to catch a glimpse of the President.

From above, the motorcade makes its way through the streets of Dallas.

AGENT SMITH
(In voiceover)
You two will be the second car in the presidential motorcade,
 with Secret Service in the first and third cars, and Vice-President
 and Mrs. Johnson in the fourth car, followed by a succession of 
Secret Service and law enforcement vehicles.

On the street, the black Lincoln Continental cruises along at ten miles per hour, with COOPER and HARPER waving to the crowds. 

They are followed by a car of SECRET SERVICE AGENTS.

EXT., THE STREET OUTSIDE THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

As the assembled crowds await the arrival of the presidential motorcade, no one notices AGENT SMITH walking up the sidewalk, carrying a rifle case. He opens the front door to the building and slips inside.

AGENT SMITH
(In voiceover)
I'll take up position on the top 
floor of the Book Depository.

INT., THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

A lovely YOUNG WOMAN stands behind the front counter, speaking with AGENT SMITH.

YOUNG WOMAN
Oh, are you Secret Service?

AGENT SMITH merely tilts his chin and raises as his eyebrows, which seems to satisfy her curiosity.

YOUNG WOMAN
(Gesturing to a staircase behind her)
You can reach the top floor through there.

AGENT SMITH
Much obliged.

As he mounts the steps, the YOUNG WOMAN turns to a SECOND WOMAN, who is also working the counter.

YOUNG WOMAN
(Excitedly)
I just met a Secret Service agent!

INT., THE TOP FLOOR OF THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

Aside from dusty stacks of boxes of books, the top floor is deserted.

AGENT SMITH takes up position in front of a window, opens his rifle case, takes out a phaser rifle, and affixes the scope to it.

EXT., THE STREETS OF DALLAS

As the presidential motorcade approaches Dealey Plaza, COOPER and HARPER wave to the crowds.

INT., BOOK DEPOSITORY TOP FLOOR

AGENT SMITH opens the window and points the phaser rifle out of it. 

AGENT SMITH
So as soon as your car reaches the right spot... 

EXT., THE SCOPE OF AGENT SMITH'S PHASER RIFLE

Through the scope of the rifle, the presidential Lincoln Continental comes into view, maneuvering slowly toward the center of the cross-hairs.

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

The presidential motorcade cruises along, and COOPER and HARPER find themselves a little caught up the crowd's excitement and admiration. They exchange smiles in the backseat of the Lincoln Continental.

INT., THE SCOPE OF THE CARBINO RIFLE

COOPER comes perfectly into the cross-hairs.

AGENT SMITH
(In voiceover)
I'll fire off a shot - 

INT., BOOK DEPOSITORY TOP FLOOR

AGENT SMITH squeezes the trigger.

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

In the backseat of the Lincoln Continental, COOPER is hit by a phase pulse blast that renders him unconscious. He slumps over in his seat, and HARPER screams.

HARPER
Someone just shot my husband!

The crowd reacts with confusion and and alarm, and the motorcade accelerates.

AGENT SMITH
(In voiceover)
And you'll be taken directly to Parkland Hospital....

EXT., THE STREETS OF DALLAS

The presidential motorcade races through the streets, accompanied by police motorcycles with flashing lights and sirens

EST., EXT., PARKLAND MEMORIAL HOSPITAL

The hospital parking lot is packed with REPORTERS trying to get in, and POLICE OFFICERS trying to keep them out.

INT., A PRIVATE ROOM IN PARKLAND MEMORIAL HOSPITAL

COOPER is laid out in a hospital bed, with HARPER by his side. 

AGENT SMITH 
(In voiceover)
...Where, as I said, you'll wake up 
with the aforementioned headache.

A SECTION 31 AGENT dressed as Secret Service enters and gives COOPER a hypospray injection that returns him to consciousness. 

As he sits up in bed and rubs his temples, VICE PRESIDENT LYNDON B. JOHNSON enters the room, accompanied by SECRET SERVICE AGENTS. The Vice President is a large, imposing man with a pronounced Texas drawl.

JOHNSON approaches COOPER and extends his hand. COOPER shakes it.

JOHNSON
I want to thank you for your service to the country, 
young man. You boys at the FBI are alright.

INT., THE BACKSEAT OF THE CADILLAC LIMOUSINE

AGENT SMITH sits back in the jumpseat.

AGENT SMITH
Any questions?

COOPER
Yes! What about all the blood and the - ?

AGENT SMITH
Let us worry about that, Doctor.

COOPER
But I saw the film - 

TARN
(From the front seat)
Don't worry. Agent Zapruder's very good at his job.

COOPER sits back in his seat, reeling at this latest revelation.

COOPER
Agent Zapru - ?… I guess you guys 
are working with the CIA, too, huh?

AGENT SMITH sneers at the thought.

AGENT SMITH
(With contempt)
The CIA.

TARN
You mean those clowns that spent forty years trying 
to assassinate one Cuban with an exploding cigar, 
and still couldn't get the job done?

AGENT SMITH
They‘re the Pakleds of the intelligence community, Doctor.

COOPER rubs his temples.

COOPER
Look, you guys are being incredibly flippant about
 all of this. What about the Romulan assassin?

At that moment, TARN's comm badge sounds.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
We picked up a Romulan agent by the courthouse.
 We haven't had a chance to question him yet, 
but we did take a disruptor off him.

TARN
(Tapping his comm badge)
Roger that. Nice work.

TARN turns around to face the backseat.

TARN
Looks like we got our guy, Doc. 
Should be smooth sailing from here on out.

COOPER relaxes visibly at this news. 

HARPER
See, Coop, I told you we wouldn't let anything happen to you.

She perks up as a thought occurs to her.

HARPER
Ooh, just think - we're about to meet the Kennedys! They
 were so glamorous and in love, and Jacqueline Kennedy 
was so stylish and poised and refined. We're going 
get to see Camelot up close! Oh, this is so exciting!

EST., EXT., CARSWELL AIR FORCE BASE TARMAC, A LITTLE LATER

TARN, DEVOS, AGENT SMITH, HARPER and COOPER all mount the steps to the waiting Boeing VC-137C that serves as Air Force One.

INT., AIR FORCE ONE

PRESIDENT KENNEDY and JACKIE KENNEDY are seated on opposite sides of the plane when the group enters. They both have cocktails in their hands, and it is apparent that they have been drinking for a while. There is tension in the air. A solitary, beleaguered SECRET SERVICE AGENT stands between them. 

PRESIDENT KENNEDY stands when the group approaches. 

PRESIDENT KENNEDY
(To the SECRET SERVICE AGENT)
Are these the people from the FBI?

SECRET SERVICE AGENT
Yes, Sir.

AGENT SMITH approaches the President.

AGENT SMITH
Mr. President, in reviewing the plans for the staged 
assassination, the FBI has determined that, rather than 
risk your life if anything should go wrong, it will be 
safer and more effective to use body doubles for you and 
the First Lady in the presidential motorcade today. 

PRESIDENT KENNEDY
But I was told that the FBI sharp shooter would be using blanks.

AGENT SMITH
Well, out of an abundance of caution, we think that it would
 be best if you and Mrs. Kennedy are in a separate location 
with your Secret Service detail while all this is happening. 
Even the most carefully-laid plans are full of unknown
 variables, and we're just trying to cover all our bases

Before PRESIDENT KENNEDY can respond to this, JACKIE KENNEDY speaks up from her seat.

JACKIE KENNEDY
(Annoyed)
Listen to them, John. The FBI is just trying to keep you safe.

AGENT SMITH
Indeed. And since we're on the subject, please allow me to 
introduce you to your body doubles, Agent Cooper and Miss Harper. 

KENNEDY shakes hands with COOPER.

KENNEDY
Mr. Cooper, please allow me to express my gratitude to you for 
what you're doing here today, not just for me, personally, 
but for your country. You're doing us all a great service. 

COOPER finds himself charmed by KENNEDY's charisma.

COOPER
It's a honor, Mr. President.

KENNEDY turns to HARPER, and his eyes light up. He extends his hand to her, and when she shakes it, he takes the opportunity to pull her in close and put his other hand on her bottom.

HARPER
Oh!

KENNEDY
Now, I'm sorry but I don't believe I caught your name, Miss - ?

JACKIE KENNEDY stands from her seat and approaches PRESIDENT KENNEDY, allowing HARPER to slip out of his grasp.

JACKIE KENNEDY
For Heavens' sake, John, these people are here to help us! 
Keep it in your pants for once.

KENNEDY
Jackie, I was just shaking this young woman's hand - 

JACKIE KENNEDY
I know what you were doing. You're always doing it. 
It's the only thing you do!

As PRESIDENT KENNEDY and JACKIE KENNEDY launch into a bitter argument, AGENT SMITH approaches the SECRET SERVICE AGENT.

AGENT SMITH
(Sotto voice)
Have they been like this all day?

The SECRET SERVICE AGENT nods wearily.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT
They're always like this.

AGENT SMITH returns to KENNEDY and JACKIE KENNEDY, whose argument is escalating.

JACKIE KENNEDY
... "For better or worse" implies that there's a 'better,' John!

KENNEDY
Don't you take that tone with me! 

AGENT SMITH steps in between them.

AGENT SMITH
Perhaps we should get underway. Mrs. Kennedy, if you'd care 
to step into the restroom with Miss Harper so that you two 
can change clothes - 

JACKIE KENNEDY
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid that the lavatory 
is out of order. The lock is stuck.

KENNEDY
(Eyeing HARPER the way a dog eyes a steak)
That's alright. You ladies can, uh, just change right here.

JACKIE KENNEDY
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?!

KENNEDY
I was merely trying to help!

As the KENNEDYs devolve into another bitter argument, HARPER leans in to COOPER.

HARPER
(Sotto voice)
Sheesh, so much for Camelot.

COOPER
(Also sotto voice)
I'm starting to think that this whole thing is just
 a ploy to prevent an assassination by Mrs. Kennedy.

HARPER stifles a laugh.

At this moment, a sharp whistle cuts through the sound of the KENNEDYs' bickering, and everyone looks over at the other side of the plane, where TARN and DEVOS have rigged up privacy curtains using airline blankets.

TARN
Not to worry, we've figured out a solution.

TARN and DEVOS pull the privacy curtain aside for JACKIE KENNEDY, and as HARPER starts to follow her into the makeshift changing room, JACKIE KENNEDY whirls furiously on HARPER.

JACKIE KENNEDY
You stay away from my husband, do you hear?!

HARPER
(Meekly)
Yes, Ma'am.

TARN and DEVOS pull the curtain closed and gallantly stand guard in front of it, much to PRESIDENT KENNEDY's disappointment.

INT., AIR FORCE ONE, A LITTLE LATER

COOPER and PRESIDENT KENNEDY emerge from behind the curtain, with KENNEDY having changed into the pilot's uniform, and COOPER wearing the president’s Brooks Brothers suit. HARPER, in a pink pillbox suit and hat, and JACKIE KENNEDY, in the stewardess uniform, stand waiting on them, as do DEVOS, TARN, AGENT SMITH, and the SECRET SERVICE AGENT. 

AGENT SMITH
All right, we should be touching down in Dallas shortly, 
at which point, Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy, Agent Tarn and 
Agent Devos will accompany the two of you to a private 
airfield, where we've got planes waiting to take you 
to your respective destinations.

As COOPER approaches the group, JACKIE KENNEDY steps forward and clasps his hand in a gesture of gratitude.

JACKIE KENNEDY
I just want to say how much we appreciate your 
help during this difficult time, Mr. Cooper. 

COOPER smiles and starts to respond, but a faint, diagonal scar above her left eyebrow draws his attention. As he stares at it, he has a realization that makes his blood run cold.

JACKIE KENNEDY
... Is everything all right?

COOPER
... Yes. Uh, sorry. I was distracted. Please excuse me.

As JACKIE KENNEDY watches, COOPER quickly makes his way to AGENT SMITH and whispers in his ear.

COOPER
The First Lady is a Romulan agent.

AGENT SMITH freezes.

AGENT SMITH
(In a whisper)
You're sure?

COOPER
Yes. She has a scar above her left eyebrow where her brow ridges
 were surgically removed. Dr. Vrenek has a similar scar from 
the last TBI mission.

AGENT SMITH nods decisively, then straightens up and pretends to his fly.

AGENT SMITH 
(With a chuckle)
Sorry, folks, didn't realize the old barn door was open.

AGENT SMITH then approaches PRESIDENT KENNEDY and JACKIE KENNEDY.

AGENT SMITH
On second thought, rather than having the President and Mrs. Kennedy 
ride to the airfield together, in the interest of mission security,
 I think that Agent Tarn should take President Kennedy, and Agent 
Devos will accompany Mrs. Kennedy in a separate car - 

A look of distress comes over JACKIE KENNEDY's face, and she steps close to PRESIDENT KENNEDY and takes his hand.

JACKIE KENNEDY
Why, I couldn't possibly leave my 
husband's side at a time like this!

AGENT SMITH signals HARPER with his eyes, and she quickly comes to JACKIE KENNEDY's side, placing a reassuring hand on her arm.

HARPER
It's only natural to be concerned for your husband's safety,
 Ma’am, but Agent Smith has a lot of experience with 
these kinds of operations -

As HARPER speaks, she moves to put JACKIE KENNEDY in handcuffs, but the First Lady maneuvers quickly out of her grasp, reverses the hold, flips HARPER and throws her to the ground. 

She then whirls around, drawing a derringer-sized disruptor from a concealed holster and firing it at PRESIDENT KENNEDY.
COOPER and the SECRET SERVICE AGENT both move toward the President, but COOPER is closer and faster, taking himself and PRESIDENT KENNEDY to the floor. The First Lady's shot strikes the SECRET SERVICE AGENT, disintegrating him.

Before JACKIE KENNEDY can fire off a second shot, TARN and DEVOS grab both of her arms from behind, and DEVOS attempts to pry the disruptor from her hand. She struggles against them, and as her fingers starting to give way to DEVOS' manipulations, she stomps on TARN's instep, crushing the bones in his foot and causing him to double over with a cry of pain, releasing her.
With one arm free, she delivers a sharp, open palm blow to DEVOS' nose, breaking it. He reels back, and in the process they both lose their grip on the disruptor, and it flies out of their hands and falls to the floor a short distance away.  

JACKIE KENNEDY dives for it at the same time as AGENT SMITH, and they grapple on the floor. She delivers a bell-ringing hay-maker to his jaw, turns, grabs the disruptor and turns back, pointing it directly at AGENT SMITH. Just as she is about to pull the trigger, she is struck by a phase pulse blast.
Everyone looks up to see HARPER standing over the unconscious First Lady, holding her phaser.

HARPER
(With a sigh, as the gazes down at the stunned JACKIE KENNEDY)
Darn it, I was really hoping we could be friends.

As COOPER and HARPER go to assist the injured TARN and DEVOS, everyone gradually becomes aware of muffled sounds coming from the plane's restroom, as though someone were pounding on the door and attempting to call for help.

AGENT SMITH quickly makes his way to the plane's bathroom, only to find that the door is locked. 

He rams the door with his shoulder, causing it to pop open, and a bound and gagged JACKIE KENNEDY, clad only in her slip, falls out onto the floor. He kneels and removes the gag and unties her, and helps her to her feet. JACKIE KENNEDY looks over at her Romulan doppelganger, laying unconscious on the floor.

JACKIE KENNEDY
That awful woman grabbed me and took my clothes 
and locked me in there! She's a monster!
The group exchanges looks of concern.

TARN
If they were able to get a Romulan operative aboard 
Air Force One, then this goes deeper than we thought.

AGENT SMITH
It's time we brought in an expert on Romulan intelligence.

INT., AIR FORCE ONE, A SHORT TIME LATER

DR. VRENEK has beamed in with a tricorder, and she is scanning the still-unconscious ROMULAN JACKIE KENNEDY, now in restraints. 

COOPER, with his doctor's bag in hand, is running a tissue regenerator over DEVOS' nose. Nearby, TARN is putting a shoe back on his newly-healed foot, and PRESIDENT KENNEDY and JACKIE KENNEDY are fully reclined in their airline seats, looking completely out of it.

Once he has finished attending to DEVOS, COOPER, along with DEVOS and TARN, join HARPER and AGENT SMITH nearby, watching DR. VRENEK at work.

HARPER
(With a nod toward the KENNEDYS)
Hey, uh, should we be concerned about the Prime Directive here?

COOPER
No. Between the sedative I just administered and the booze they've 
already ingested, the Kennedys aren't going to remember anything that 
happened here today. And even if they did, they're already neck-deep
 in a conspiracy to fake his death - who would they tell?

HARPER shrugs and nods.

DR. VRENEK finally looks up from her tricorder.

VRENEK
(To HARPER, AGENT SMITH, TARN and DEVOS)
Her physiology is indeed Romulan, and there are indications of 
silicon, thorasite, and titanium alloy in her cranial area, which 
means that she has a Romulan intelligence implant. Given the nature
 of this assignment, I would say that this is most likely an agent
 of the Tal Shi'ar's Temporal Operations Team.

At the sound of the words “Tal Shi’ar,” COOPER sinks into a nearby seat and leans forward, attempting to breathe slowly and deeply. HARPER kneels next to COOPER and takes his hand.

HARPER
Hey, Coop, talk to me. What’s going on?

COOPER
The Tal Shi’ar, Harper, that’s what’s going on. 
I'm going to be killed by a Romulan black ops agent!

HARPER
Just take a deep breath, okay? Nobody is 
going to let anything happen to you. 

COOPER
Harper, the Tal Shi'ar is basically a killing machine! 

VRENEK
(To the group)
The Temporal Operations Team typically consists of a dozen 
agents, so between this one and the agent already in custody,
 I'd say that you likely have another ten operatives to apprehend.

COOPER
Ten?!

He begins to hyperventilate, and HARPER rubs his back.

TARN
I’ll fill Agent Hoover in on the situation and let him know 
to search the White House for Romulan infiltrators. There’s 
no way they got get their agent on board Air Force One
 without help. 

At that moment, DEVOS’s comm badge crackles to life.

VOICE OVER COMM BADGE
All agents be advised, the Romulan operative has escaped 
custody. Repeat, the Romulan operative in custody has escaped.

COOPER whimpers.

VRENEK
(With a nod)
That is to be expected.

While HARPER comforts COOPER, TARN steps away to make a call, and AGENT SMITH and DEVOS mull over how to proceed, PRESIDENT KENNEDY, with some difficulty, gets up from his airline seat and staggers over to DR. VRENEK. He is obviously quite impaired.

PRESIDENT KENNEDY
Miss, uh - Miss… Space... Alien? Miss - Miss Space Alien - ? 
You sh- you should... You should know that... you are... 
abso- absolutely... gorgeous - 

He lurches forward and clumsily grabs DR. VRENEK by the waist. 

In an instant, she grabs one of his arms, twists it behind his back, and pulls the President into an immobilizing hold, causing everyone on the plane to freeze, including PRESIDENT KENNEDY. 

VRENEK
(To PRESIDENT KENNEDY)
And you are supposedly the "leader of the free world," and yet 
you conduct yourself like a drunken reprobate. I have little, 
if any, regard for humanity as it is, and yet still - still- 
you manage to disgrace yourself! Stop this nonsense, pull 
yourself together, and never speak to me again!

DR. VRENEK’s words cut through KENNEDY’s stupor, and he has the shocked look of a spoiled child confronted with consequences for the first time in his life.

PRESIDENT KENNEDY
… yes, Ma'am. I am, uh, very sorry - 

VRENEK
Go apologize to your wife! She is right there.

DR. VRENEK releases PRESIDENT KENNEDY roughly, and he retakes his seat. She then calmly turns to AGENT SMITH as though nothing has just transpired.

VRENEK
With almost a dozen Romulan operatives to apprehend, you will 
need an additional agent positioned with a view of the crowd. 
I recommend Agent Harper. I have seen her marksmanship scores, 
and she is the logical choice.

COOPER
But Harper is supposed to be in the motorcade with me.

AGENT SMITH looks at DR. VRENEK and raises an eyebrow.

AGENT SMITH
Looks like we're going to need a new First Lady.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Chapter 15: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 S5, E4 Ask Not What the Federation Can Do for You, Part 2: Dealey Plaza

Summary:

Just a staged assassination of a world leader to save the alpha quadrant from the Romulans. What could go wrong? (Part 2 of 2)

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 S5, E4 Ask Not What the Federation Can Do for You, Part 2: Dealey Plaza

INT., AIR FORCE ONE, A SHORT TIME LATER

HARPER, now wearing her black Section 31 uniform, is adjusting the brunette bouffant wig on DR. VRENEK's head. DR. VRENEK is wearing JACKIE KENNEDY's pink suit, hat and shoes, and she is clearly not happy about any of it.

HARPER
Okay, since we don't have any time for surgery, 
just keep your hair over your ears and your bangs 
over your forehead, and you should be fine.

HARPER steps back to admire her handiwork.

HARPER
Oh, Dr. Vrenek, you look so pretty!

DR. VRENEK rolls her eyes.

VRENEK
(Contemptuous)
Whether or not I look "pretty" is entirely inconsequential. 
All that matters is that I look reasonably convincing 
from a moving vehicle.

DEVOS, who is standing next to COOPER, leans over to him.

DEVOS
(Sotto voice)
I think we've finally found your first lady, Mr. President.

At this moment, the PILOT's voice comes over comms.

PILOT
This is your captain speaking. 
We'll be approaching Love Field shortly. 

AGENT SMITH
(To the group)
All right now, since we're not certain how much the Romulans know about
 the staged assassination plans, the President and Mrs. Kennedy will 
remain onboard the plane and fly back to Carswell, where Tarn will escort
 them to a secure location until all of the Romulans are in custody. In 
order to avoid tipping our hand to the Tal Shi'ar, we're going to proceed
 with the motorcade as planned. Thanks to Dr. Vrenek, we'll have a Romulan
 biosign in the car next to the Doctor, so it will appear to them as though
 their operative is still in play, and that gives us an advantage. Now, 
you've all got cricket phasers, and the comm badges beneath your clothes 
are wired to go directly to an inner-ear transceiver, so I want everyone
 to stay in constant contact.

AGENT SMITH turns to DEVOS.

AGENT SMITH
That vaporized Secret Service Agent was supposed to drive the 
support vehicle behind the President, so you'll be taking his place.

DEVOS
You mean, I'm going have to drive a '56 Cadillac full of Secret 
Service agents through the streets of Dallas at 80 miles per hour?

AGENT SMITH
You're the wheel man.

DEVOS
(With a grin)
I love my job.

AGENT SMITH returns his attention to the group.

AGENT SMITH
Now remember, we need all of this to go as smoothly as possible so that we 
don't cause a panic or even worse, tip off the Vice-President that things 
aren't one hundred percent under control. He thinks this is all a tightly-
choreographed operation, so let's keep it that way. Keep your eyes open 
for Romulan agents and your wits about you at all times.

With that, AGENT SMITH breaks off from the group to huddle in the corner with DEVOS and TARN. JACKIE KENNEDY takes this opportunity to approach DR. VRENEK.

JACKIE KENNEDY
Ma'am, I just want to say that I think you are the strongest,
 most remarkable woman that I have ever met in my life.

VRENEK
(Matter-of-factly)
You would be correct.

HARPER, standing nearby, is emboldened to approach them both.

HARPER
Mrs. Kennedy, I would also like to say how much I admire y- 

JACKIE KENNEDY
(To HARPER)
You stay away from my husband!

With that, JACKIE KENNEDY stomps off, leaving a mortified HARPER in her wake.

HARPER
(To herself)
Okay, never meet your heroes....

EST., EXT., LOVE FIELD TARMAC, A LITTLE LATER

Crowds cheer wildly as an anxious COOPER and a disgruntled DR. VRENEK disembark the plane. They are approached by VICE-PRESIDENT JOHNSON.

JOHNSON
(Extending his hand to COOPER)
Say now, are you two are from the FBI? I don’t see the President -

COOPER
Oh, uh, well, Sir, we’ll be standing in as body doubles 
for the President and Mrs. Kennedy in the motorcade for
 the, uh…the thing….

This seems to tickle JOHNSON, who chuckles and slaps COOPER on the back hard enough to make him wince.

JOHNSON
Is that right? Well, Son, you don’t look like you’re nearly as big 
of a jackass as the President, but I’m sure you’ll do just fine.

He then turns to DR. VENEK, only to be aback by her Romulan pallor, dour expression, and not-quite-human appearance. He quickly turns back to COOPER. 

JOHNSON
... Say, is she all right?

COOPER
Yes, Sir, she just… uh -

VRENEK
(Flatly)
I have a cold. 

After a fleeting moment of confusion, JOHNSON decides to accept this explanation.

JOHNSON
(To COOPER)
Body doubles, eh? Well, this is something I’ve gotta see! 

JOHNSON claps COOPER on the back again, and again, COOPER winces in pain.

At that moment, DEVOS approaches COOPER and DR. VRENEK.

DEVOS
Mr. President, your car is waiting.

Thankful for the reprieve, COOPER and DR. VRENEK follow him to the waiting 1961 Lincoln Continental.

As soon as COOPER and DR. VRENEK are situated in the back seat of the Lincoln, DEVOS gets behind the wheel of the Cadillac convertible behind them. Eight SECRET SERVICE AGENTS waiting a short distance away pile into the convertible, with one AGENT sitting in the front passenger seat, three AGENTS in the back seat, and four more AGENTS riding on the car's running boards. 

VICE PRESIDENT JOHNSON and MRS. JOHNSON get into the Lincoln convertible behind the Secret Service car, and the motorcade departs Love Field, to the cheering of the crowd.

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA,  

Crowds line the streets, breathlessly waiting for the presidential motorcade. 

Nobody notices AGENT SMITH walking up briskly up the sidewalk, carrying a rifle case. As he walks, he taps the comm badge under his jacket.

AGENT SMITH
Approaching the book depository. 
Agent Harper, what's your status?

EXT., THE TOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

HARPER kneels on the rooftop of the building, assembling a sniper's tripod to overlook the parapet that borders the roof.

HARPER
In position at the County Records Building, Sir. 

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

AGENT SMITH continues along the sidewalk. 

AGENT SMITH
Excellent. We don't have long before the motorcade
 arrives. I'll be in position momentarily

He opens the front door of the Book Depository and steps inside.

INT., BOOK DEPOSITORY

The door jingles as AGENT SMITH enters. Hank Williams' 'I Saw The Light' is playing on a tinny radio in the background. 

The place is filled with boxes of books stacked on top of each other. There is a staircase behind the front counter where an ornery, middle-aged TEXAN in a ten-gallon hat is working.  

AGENT SMITH approaches the front counter and smiles congenially.

AGENT SMITH
Say, how do I get to the top floor of this building?

The TEXAN takes his time pulling a battered pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket, tapping it on the counter, pulling out a cigarette, putting it in his mouth and lighting it, before he finally deigns to look at AGENT SMITH.

TEXAN
You one of the President's Secret Service?

AGENT SMITH raises his eyebrows and tilts his chin. 

TEXAN
(Leaning on the counter pugnaciously)
Well, I didn't vote for that commie pinko sonnovabitch, 
so I suggest you take yourself elsewhere, Mister.

The TEXAN punctuates this by taking a drag from his cigarette and blowing the smoke directly in AGENT SMITH's face. 

As AGENT SMITH considers his next move, he glances over at a shotgun mounted next to a fire extinguisher on the wall behind the TEXAN, and nods agreeably. 

AGENT SMITH
Certainly. Have a good day.

Turning to leave, he pulls a cigarette case out of an inside jacket pocket. 

He stops, puts a cigarette in his mouth, and then pats his jacket and pants before turning back to the TEXAN with an apologetic chuckle.

AGENT SMITH
I'm sorry to trouble you, but I seem to have lost my lighter. 
Would you mind?

The TEXAN stares at AGENT SMITH for a long moment, and then nods irritably. AGENT SMITH approaches the counter and leans over, and the TEXAN lights his cigarette for him.

AGENT SMITH
Much obliged. 

As AGENT SMITH heads toward the door, a telephone rings. He glances behind him, and seeing that the TEXAN is distracted by answering the phone, AGENT SMITH flicks his lit cigarette into an open cardboard box of books without breaking stride.

He opens the door to leave, causing it to jingle, and then stops to hold it open for an approaching DELIVERYMAN pushing a box dolly. 

AGENT SMITH glances over at the front counter again. Seeing that the TEXAN is having a heated argument with whomever is on the other end of the phone, he slips in behind the DELIVERYMAN and ducks behind a nearby stack of boxes, out of view of the front counter.

After a few moments, smoke begins to fill the room, and the DELIVERYMAN, now waiting at the front counter, starts to cough.

DELIVERYMAN
Is something on fire?

Looking up, the TEXAN spots the burning box of books near the front door.

TEXAN
Aw, hell!

As the TEXAN grabs the fire extinguisher and rushes to put out the blaze, AGENT SMITH slips from his hiding place, walks briskly to the staircase and mounts the stairs, unnoticed by either the TEXAN or the DELIVERYMAN.

EXT., THE TOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

HARPER, now finished constructing the tripod, mounts her phaser rifle on it, and adjusts the scope.

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

A WOMAN WEARING A BABUSHKA stares up at the top of the County Records Building and frowns. 

EXT., THE STREETS OF DALLAS, 

Scores of people line the streets, cheering for the presidential motorcade as it passes.

In the backseat of the Lincoln Continental, DR. VRENEK appears to be staring straight ahead, while actually scanning the oncoming crowds with the tricorder she is holding discretely in her lap. 

Beside her, COOPER attempts to wave to the people as they pass, but as he looks around at the throngs of people, any one of whom could be a Tal Shi'ar assassin, 
he finds himself lapsing into a pensive, worried state. 

INT., THE TOP FLOOR, DALLAS BOOK DEPOSITORY

Aside from stacks of books and copious amounts of dust, the room is empty.

AGENT SMITH goes to a window overlooking the plaza below, checks the view, and then kneels and opens his rifle case. As he assembles his phaser rifle and scope, a voice comes from behind him.

VOICE
Hey - who the hell are you?!

AGENT SMITH looks up to see a LANKY MAN with a .38 Carbino rifle standing in the doorway.

AGENT SMITH
Lee Harvey Oswald?

LANKY MAN
(Suspiciously)
Who's asking?

The LANKY MAN is then felled by a phaser blast.

AGENT SMITH tucks his weapon back into an ankle holder and shakes his head as he regards the LANKY MAN lying unconscious on the floor.

AGENT SMITH
(With a chuckle)
You poor bastard.

EXT., THE STREETS OF DALLAS

The motorcade cruises along its course toward Dealey Plaza.

INT., THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH adjusts the sighting on his scope.

EXT., THE STREETS OF DALLAS 

In the Lincoln Continental, COOPER stares anxiously into the middle distance as the motorcade rolls along. Finally, DR. VRENEK, still continuing to scan the crowds, decides to speak.

VRENEK
Doctor, what is wrong?

COOPER
Huh?

VRENEK
You are supposed to be waving to these gormless fools
 who have inexplicably assembled here to gawk at a 
public official that they have already elected.

COOPER straightens up and starts waving again.

COOPER
Oh... Right. Sorry.

VRENEK
(Continuing to scan)
What is troubling you?

COOPER
Nothing, I’m fine.

VRENEK
Dr. Cooper, do not insult my intelligence by suggesting 
that you are capable of deceiving me. What is wrong?

COOPER sighs.

COOPER
It's just that... well, I was already anxious about all this, 
and that was before we knew that the Tal Shi'ar were involved,
 and Harper was supposed to be here with me - 

VRENEK
Given the nature of the assignment, you are considerably safer
 with Agent Harper positioned as a sniper. 

COOPER
I know, but... I guess I was kind of counting on her
 being here. They say that nothing stops the Tal Shi'ar, 
so I guess whatever happens… happens, and if this is 
my time to go, then... well… 

He sighs.
COOPER
... It just would have been nice to have her here 
next to me. From the day we met, Harper has 
always been a reassuring presence.

VRENEK
And I am not reassuring.

COOPER
Oh, uh - 

VRENEK
Doctor, I was merely stating a fact. I am not a "reassuring presence,"
 nor do I care to be. And while it is true that nothing stops the 
Tal Shi'ar, that should be a source of comfort to you.

COOPER
... How?

VRENEK
Well, if I were being targeted by the most ruthless intelligence 
force in the quadrant, I would find it greatly reassuring to know that 
one of them was sitting beside me, dedicated to protecting my life.

COOPER stares at DR. VRENEK.

COOPER
You're... Tal Shi'ar?

VRENEK
In my former life, yes. Were you not aware?

COOPER
Well, I knew that you were Romulan intelligence, 
but not, you know...

VRENEK turns and locks eyes with COOPER.

VRENEK
Doctor, no agent of the Tal Shi'ar would
ever announce themselves as such. 

She returns to scanning the crowd.

VRENEK
But do not be concerned. 
You have my word that no harm will befall you.

COOPER blinks and exhales as he contemplates this, and when he returns to waving to the crowd, there is a quiet assurance to his demeanor.

EXT., THE STREETS OF DALLAS 

As the crowds cheer for the presidential motorcade, DEVOS, behind the wheel of the Secret Service car, taps the comm badge under his jacket.

DEVOS
Approaching Dealey Plaza.

Behind him, two of the SECRET SERVICE AGENTS on the runningboards exchange glances.

INT., THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH, watching the streets below, taps his badge.

AGENT SMITH
Roger that, Devos. Smith in position.

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

As the crowds await the motorcade, a DARK-HAIRED MAN carrying a black umbrella beams into a secluded spot on the grassy knoll.

EXT., THE STREETS OF DALLAS 

The presidential motorcade comes into view of the County Court Building, preparing to make a left turn into Dealey Plaza. 

EXT., TOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

HARPER, watching the crowds as well, taps her comm badge.

HARPER
Agent Harper in position.

As HARPER watches the crowd through her scope, she fails to notice someone beaming in behind her. 

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

The motorcade makes a left turn into Dealey Plaza, passing the Criminal Court Building, headed toward the County Records Building.

In the Lincoln Continental, COOPER waves to the crowds, while VRENEK continues to scan.

EXT., THE GRASSY KNOLL

As the motorcade proceeds along its route, the DARK-HAIRED MAN opens his umbrella.

INT., THE DALLAS BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH stares through the scope of his phaser rifle as the motorcade comes into view and taps his comm badge.

AGENT SMITH
I've got visual contact with the motorcade.
 How about you, Agent Harper?

EXT., THE TOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

HARPER's hands are raised, and the BABUSHKA WOMAN is holding her at disruptor-point when her comm badge sounds.

AGENT SMITH
(Over HARPER's comm badge)
... Agent Harper?

BABUSHKA WOMAN
(To HARPER)
How many Section 31 agents are there,
 and where are they posted?

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

The motorcade passes beneath the County Records Building, headed toward the Book Depository.

In the Lincoln Continental, COOPER waves to the crowd. VRENEK, who is continuing to scan, frowns.

EXT., THE TOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

The BABUSHKA WOMAN raises the disruptor to HARPER's forehead.

BABUSHKA WOMAN
Tell me where the other agents are, or I will switch the setting
 to 'prolonged fatality.' Your death will be slow and agonizing, 
and you will end up telling me everything you know anyway, in 
exchange for the mercy of hastening your demise.

HARPER swallows and nods.

HARPER
Okay. We've got one agent over at the - 

As HARPER speaks, she takes a step back and kicks the disruptor out of the BABUSHKA WOMAN's hand. It flies over the parapet of the County Records Building and falls to the streets below, where it shatters.  

HARPER lunges for the now-disarmed BABUSHKA WOMAN, only to be thrown to the ground. HARPER scrambles to her feet as the  BABUSHKA WOMAN advances on her, dealing a flurry of martial arts blows that HARPER struggles to fend off.

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

COOPER notices VRENEK frowning at the tricorder. He leans over to her.

COOPER
Dr. Vrenek, what's wrong?

VRENEK
I believe that the Romulans are using some sort of signal-jamming device.

INT., THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH taps his communicator again. 

AGENT SMITH
Agent Harper, do you have visual on the motorcade? Respond!

EXT., THE ROOFTOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

The BABUSHKA WOMAN has backed HARPER against the parapet, continuing to pummel her. While frantically countering the onslaught of blows, HARPER manages to land a solid punch to the side of BABUSHKA WOMAN's face, causing her scarf to slip and revealing her Romulan ears. 

HARPER's lucky blow, however, seems to do nothing other than enrage BABUSHKA WOMAN, and she lunges for HARPER and wraps her hands around HARPER's throat.

EXT., THE GRASSY KNOLL

The DARK-HAIRED MAN with the umbrella continues to watch the motorcade as it approaches.

EXT., THE ROOFTOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

The BABUSHKA WOMAN has HARPER bent backwards over the edge of the parapet, strangling her, while HARPER frantically claws at her hands.

As this happens, her comm badge sounds.

AGENT SMITH
(Over HARPER's comm badge)
Agent Harper, respond!

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

COOPER leans toward DR. VRENEK.

COOPER
Okay. If they're jamming tricorders, then what do we do?

DR. VRENEK sets her tricorder on the seat between her and COOPER, facing behind them.

VRENEK
We will simply have to fall back upon visual assessment, Doctor.
 As Agent Smith said, keep your eyes open and your wits about you.

COOPER nods and straightens up, and as he continues to wave to the crowds, he looks out over them for anything out of the ordinary.

EXT., THE ROOFTOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

HARPER, bent backwards over the parapet, is slowly turning purple, having failed to dislodge BABUSHKA WOMAN's hands from around her throat. Her efforts to fight back are flagging. 

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

As the motorcade slowly passes the Book Depository, the SECRET SERVICE AGENTS in the support car driven by DEVOS exchange glances and ready themselves.

Meanwhile, COOPER, who is waving at the crowds, frowns as he spots something strange up ahead

EXT., THE ROOFTOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

BABUSHKA WOMAN, seeing that her opponent is tiring, leans in with a look of satisfaction as she squeezes the life out of HARPER. 

Before she can finish HARPER off, however, she is felled by a phaser blast.

EXT., THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH is leaning out of the window, with his phaser rifle pointed at the County Records Building.

He taps his comm badge.

AGENT SMITH
You alright up there, Agent Harper? 
You looked like you could use a little help.

EXT., THE ROOFTOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

HARPER, leaning against the parapet and gasping deeply as air once again fills her lungs, taps her comm badge.

HARPER
Yes, Sir. Resuming position momentarily. 

AGENT SMITH
(Over HARPER's comm badge)
Good. The motorcade will be in position shortly.

INT., THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH, having resumed his position at the window, stares through the scope of his rifle.

INT., AGENT SMITH'S SCOPE

Through the scope of AGENT SMITH's phaser rifle, the Lincoln Continental carrying COOPER and VRENEK makes its way toward the center of the cross-hairs.

INT., THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH starts to squeeze the trigger on his phaser rifle.

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

In the Lincoln Continental, COOPER locks eyes with the DARK-HAIRED MAN with the umbrella at the Grassy Knoll, and he taps his comm badge.

COOPER
Romulan agent on the grassy knoll.

INT., BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH looks through the scope of his rifle at the crowds.

AGENT SMITH
Where?

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

COOPER keeps the DARK-HAIRED MAN in his sight as he responds.

COOPER
The only one with an open umbrella on a bright, sunny day.

EXT., THE GRASSY KNOLL

As he stands watching the motorcade, the DARK-HAIRED MAN is struck down by a phaser blast that also cuts through his umbrella. As the broken umbrella falls to the ground, the electronic components within are revealed. 

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

As DR. VRENEK visually scans the crowd, the tricorder on the seat beside her lights up.

INT., THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH stares through the scope of his phaser rifle once more, again lining up COOPER in his cross-hairs, and again, he starts to squeeze the trigger.

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

DR. VRENEK glances down at the tricorder. Her eyes widen and she taps her comm badge.

VRENEK
The Romulans are in the Secret Service car!

As she reaches over and shoves COOPER down in the seat, a gunshot is heard, and a shotgun shell whizzes narrowly over COOPER's head and embeds itself in the front seat of the Lincoln Continental.

The sound of gunfire causes the presidential motorcade to accelerate, and COOPER and VRENEK look back to see SECRET SERVICE AGENT 1 standing in the middle of the backseat of the Cadillac convertible, aiming a shotgun directly at COOPER.

In the Vice-President's car, the sudden acceleration of the motorcade jostles and startles VICE-PRESIDENT JOHNSON, who stares wide-eyed in disbelief at SECRET SERVICE AGENTS 1 wielding his shotgun in the car directly ahead of him.

Behind the wheel of the Secret Service Agent car, DEVOS surreptitiously glances at all of the ROMULAN SECRET SERVICE AGENTS surrounding him, and knits his brow as he considers his options.

Meanwhile, in the backseat, the SERVICE AGENT 1 racks the shotgun and raises it for a second attempt on COOPER's life. 

Before he can squeeze the trigger, however, he is felled by a phaser blast. 

INT., THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

HARPER taps her badge.

HARPER
Got him.

EXT., DEALEY PLAZA

As the motorcade races to leave Dealey Plaza, heading toward Parkland Memorial Hospital, DR. VRENEK and COOPER exchange phaser fire with the SECRET SERVICE AGENTS on the runningboards. 

SECRET SERVICE AGENT 2 in the passenger seat next to DEVOS reaches over and grabs the wheel, attempting to wrest control of the vehicle from him. 

DEVOS resists, and as the two men struggle, SECRET SERVICE AGENT 3 on the driver's side running board closest to DEVOS, opens the driver's door and attempts to pull DEVOS out of the car and onto the street below.

From the backseat of the Lincoln Continental, DR. VRENEK takes aim at SECRET SERVICE AGENT 3, but misses, and the errant phaser blast strikes the side of the Vice-President's car, forcing VICE-PRESIDENT JOHNSON to duck. 

The Secret Service car veers wildly as DEVOS fights to stay inside the car and maintain control of the vehicle. Just as SECRET SERVICE AGENT 3 starts to dislodge DEVOS from his seat, the car hits a pothole at high speed, and SECRET SERVICE AGENT 3 loses his balance and falls beneath the Cadillac’s oncoming rear wheel. 

Freed of his immediate problem, DEVOS, with one hand on the wheel, grabs the back of SECRET SERVICE AGENT 2's neck and slams his head against the dashboard, knocking him out.

Any relief DEVOS feels is fleeting, however, as SECRET SERVICE AGENT 4, sitting directly behind him in the backseat, puts a gun to the back of his head.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT 4
Try anything else, and I will blow your 
brains all over the windshield.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT 4 then nods at SECRET SERVICE AGENT 5, seated next to him. In the next moment, SECRET SERVICE AGENT 4 is felled by a phaser blast from behind. 

EXT., THE TOP OF THE COUNTY RECORDS BUILDING

As HARPER looks up from her scope with satisfaction, her comm badge sounds.

AGENT SMITH
(Over HARPER's comm badge)
Nice shot, Agent Harper.

HARPER
Thank you, Sir.

She looks through the scope of her rifle and frowns.

HARPER
Unfortunately, I don’t think I can do it 
again. The motorcade is out of range.

INT., THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

AGENT SMITH
(Lowering his phaser rifle)
 It's up to Agent Devos, Dr. Cooper and Dr. Vrenek now.

EXT., THE STREETS OF DALLAS

The motorcade is now rushing toward Parkland Memorial at top speed.

COOPER and DR. VRENEK are hunkered down in the back seat of the Lincoln Continental, exchanging fire with the four remaining SECRET SERVICE AGENTS in the car behind them. 

In the Vice-President's car, both VICE-PRESIDENT JOHNSON and MRS. JOHNSON, clinging to their seats with white knuckles, exchange astonished looks at the scene playing out before their eyes.

As the motorcade tears through the streets, DR. VRENEK takes aim at SECRET SERVICE AGENT 6 on the passenger side running board and drops him. As he falls beneath the vehicle, SECRET SERVICE AGENT 7, who was positioned behind him, inches closer.

Meanwhile, a movement in the corner of DEVOS' eye catches his attention, and he looks over to see SECRET SERVICE AGENT 5 in the backseat climbing into the front seat next to him. Before he can react, however, SECRET SERVICE AGENT 5 is felled by a phaser blast from DR. VRENEK.

Left with SECRET SERVICE AGENTS 7 and 8 on the running boards of either side of the Cadillac, DEVOS begins veering the car wildly from side to side as he drives, attempting to shake them off.  

As this is happening, SECRET SERVICE AGENT 7 aims his disruptor and takes a shot at COOPER, forcing him to duck as the blast narrowly misses him.

When COOPER looks up again, he sees that DR. VRENEK has climbed out of the backseat and is perched on the trunk of the Lincoln Continental on her hands and knees, trading fire with SECRET

SERVICE AGENTS 7 and 8. She strikes SECRET SERVICE AGENT 7 with a direct hit, and as he falls to the street below, SECRET SERVICE AGENT 8 climbs from the driver's side runningboard onto the hood of the Cadillac and from there, leaps onto the back of the Lincoln Continental. 

SECRET SERVICE AGENT 8 grabs DR. VRENEK's phaser and they wrestle for control of the weapon. He wrenches DR. VRENEK's arm in an attempt to dislocate her shoulder, and her face contorts in pain. As her fingers start to slip from around the phaser, COOPER lunges forward from the backseat and shoots SECRET SERVICE AGENT 8, causing him to fall beneath the oncoming Cadillac. 

DR. VRENEK, still on all fours on the back of the Lincoln Continental, looks over at COOPER.

VRENEK
Thank you, Dr. Cooper.

As he smiles and opens his mouth to reply, she aims her phaser directly at him and pulls the trigger.

INT., A HOSPITAL ROOM AT PARKLAND MEMORIAL HOSPITAL

COOPER opens his eyes to find himself in a hospital bed. As he looks around, trying to orient himself, he sees that he is surrounded by HARPER, DR. VRENEK, DEVOS, and AGENT SMITH.

AGENT SMITH
Well, Doctor, you woke up in Parkland Memorial just as
 promised, and you only got shot by one Romulan agent. 

VRENEK
There's hardly any point in staging an assassination if the 
President can walk into the Emergency Room of his own 
accord, now is there?

COOPER closes his eyes and sighs.

COOPER
I guess we blew the mission, huh? There's no way the Vice-President
 thinks we had everything under control after a shoot-out with an 
entire car full of Secret Service Agents in broad daylight.

AGENT SMITH
(Nodding in agreement)
He's probably due to be fitted for a straight jacket right about 
now. But on the bright side, we did manage to capture or kill almost 
all of the Tal Shi'ar's Temporal Operations Team. That ought to set 
them back long enough for us to figure out how we're going to - 

At this moment, LYNDON B. JOHNSON bursts into the room, trailed by a PRESIDENTIAL AIDE.

JOHNSON
(With a expansive laugh)
I tell you what, I've never seen anything like that in all my life - 
why, it was just like something out of one of them Hollywood movies! 
You boys at the FBI put on one hell of a show!

He approaches COOPER and shakes his hand.

JOHNSON
Son, you've done your country a service here today. 

COOPER
Uh, thank you, Sir. But it wasn't just me, it was everyone - 

JOHNSON
Oh, don't you worry, now. I am going to put in a call to 
old J. Edgar and let him know what a bang-up job y‘all did.

JOHNSON turns to his AIDE.

JOHNSON
Schedule me a call with that little panty-wearing oddball.

PRESIDENTIAL AIDE
Yes, Sir.

JOHNSON turns to DR. VRENEK.

JOHNSON
And you, Ma'am - you are something else!

VRENEK
You would be correct in your assessment. 

This tickles JOHNSON and he laughs even harder, to VRENEK's consternation.

JOHNSON
Say, now that I know what you boys at the FBI are capable of, 
I’ve got a little moon landing project I could use your help with.

AGENT SMITH
Of course. We'll be in touch.

JOHNSON 
(Turning to leave)
Good job, everyone. Now, if y’all will excuse
 me, I have important business to attend to.

As he is leaving the room, JOHNSON turns to his AIDE.

JOHNSON
Find me one of them reporters, I need to take a leak.

PRESIDENTIAL AIDE
Yes, Mr. President.

With that, JOHNSON and his AIDE exit the room, passing TARN on his way in.

AGENT SMITH
(To TARN)
How are the President and Mrs. Kennedy?

TARN
Safely on their way to Marseille and the White House 
respectively, and not a moment too soon. All that arguing....

COOPER
But what about Romulan infiltrators? How did 
they get an agent onboard Air Force One if - ?

TARN
There weren't any Romulan infiltrators in the White House. 
Turns out that Secret Service Agent who got vaporized on 
the plane was your twelfth man.

INT., AIR FORCE ONE, FLASHBACK

JACKIE KENNEDY is sitting alone in Air Force One when the SECRET SERVICE AGENT and the ROMULAN JACKIE KENNEDY board the plane. She looks up in confusion and alarm.

JACKIE KENNEDY
Just what is going on here?!

INT., HOSPITAL ROOM, PARKLAND MEMORIAL

COOPER looks at TARN.

COOPER
But then how did the Romulans find out about the staged assassination if - ?

TARN
Ah, turns out Kennedy blabbed the whole thing to the CIA when 
he was all hopped up on martinis and Demerol, and the Romulans 
got the information out of them by calling up CIA headquarters
 and telling them they'd won a drive-time radio contest.

COOPER
You're kidding!

DEVOS
(With an eyeroll)
Idiots.

TARN
What's important is, Kennedy is safely on his way to 
France, and LBJ is happy as a clam. Nice work, everyone.

COOPER
But, hold on - there was a car chase, and a shoot-out in broad 
daylight - nothing happened the way it was supposed to! No one is 
going to believe that assassination was the work of a lone gunman! 

AGENT SMITH waves this off.

AGENT SMITH
Relax, Doctor. Section 31 has a clean-up team for situations like
 this. They'll come in and flood the zone with so many conspiracy 
theories, false reports, and misinformation that by the time 
they're done, even the people who witnessed it first-hand 
won't know what to believe.

COOPER
There's no way that's going to work.
 People aren't that gullible!  

TARN
Doctor, how do you think we made all 
those UFO abductees look crazy?

COOPER
What?!

AGENT SMITH
(Shaking his head)
It took forever to get the Vendorians to stop 
sending their school field trips to Earth.

As COOPER rubs his temples and attempts, once again, to reconstruct his understanding of reality, DEVOS nudges AGENT SMITH.

DEVOS
Hey, remember that time we told the CIA that the 
Soviets had an entire team of agents who were psychic?

AGENT SMITH, DEVOS and TARN burst into laughter at this.

AGENT SMITH
How about the Christmas party where we slipped them all LSD?

AGENT SMITH, DEVOS and TARN roar with laughter, with DEVOS gasping for breath, and AGENT SMITH wiping away tears from beneath his aviators.

TARN
What a bunch of rubes!

COOPER drops his head into his hands.

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS.

Chapter 16: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 5 Episode 5 Medical Aid

Summary:

Just a medical aid mission to war-torn Nausicaa under the aegis of Section 31. No problem, right?

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 5 Episode 5 Medical Aid

INT., SECTION 31 RUNABOUT

CH'THANE is in the captain's chair, and two SECTION 31 AGENTS are at the helm. They are all wearing black fatigues, except for COOPER, at comms, who is wearing civilian clothes and a white doctor's coat. 

COOPER
(In voice over)
Chief Medical Officer's Log: we're en route to the So'Ghar province of Nausicaa to vaccinate
rural Nausicaans against the tuberculosis epidemic. While I have misgivings about Section 31's
motivations for funding a medical aid mission, I believe that providing much-needed medical
care to an under-served population is important enough to justify setting my concerns aside.

SECTION 31 AGENT
Coming up on Nausicaa.

CH'THANE
Engage the cloak when we drop out of warp. Now, if any of you are captured
or detained by Orion occupying forces, this medical aid mission is funded by a
wealthy philanthropist on Telvar Prime who wishes to remain anonymous. 

COOPER 
That's all well and good, Sir, but how do we explain the presence
of a bunch of Section 31 agents who are armed to the teeth?

CH'THANE
Private security. Given the contentious situation on the planet,
your wealthy benefactor is concerned for the safety of the
medical aid volunteers.

COOPER
(Stone-faced)
How generous of him.

EST. EXT., A VILLAGE IN RURAL NAUSICAA

Several rustic dwellings are spread across a plane in view of the KadChek mountains.

EXT., THE VILLAGE SQUARE

MEDICAL AID VOLUNTEERS are setting up a canopy and unpacking crates of medical supplies, while the two SECTION 31 AGENTS, bearing heavy phaser rifles, stand guard. A substantial crowd of

RURAL NAUSICAANS are gathering, many of them ill and coughing. 

COOPER is unpacking supplies when he is approached by BRAXOK.  

BRAXOK
My brother!

COOPER and BRAXOK embrace, and BRAXOK presses his bony plate against COOPER's forehead.

BRAXOK
Come. My uncle wishes to see you.

BRAXOK leads COOPER over to GATH'ROK, who presses his bony plate to BRAXOK's bony plate, and then to COOPER's forehead.

GATH'ROK
(To COOPER)
Greetings, N'Chek Goq.

COOPER
(Bowing his head)
Greetings, Honored Elder.

COOPER looks around at the gathering crowd. 

COOPER
This is quite a turn-out. 

CH'THANE approaches. He nods toward three TRIBAL CHIEFTAINS, all elder Nausicaans, and all of whom are accompanied by phalanxes of NAUSICAAN WARRIORS.

CH'THANE
Looks like the other tribal chieftains have arrived as well. 

GATH'ROK nods.

GATH'ROK
The Beast of So'Ghar still commands loyalty from those who remember. 

COOPER
I'm just glad to see so many people turn out to be vaccinated.

CH'THANE
Don't start counting your chickens, Doctor. These people showed up
for the Beast of So'Ghar. They still need to be persuaded that vaccines
are beneficial to them. 

DR. VARA REY, an attractive female Trill physician, approaches COOPER. 

VARA
We're all set up and ready.

COOPER
(To GATH'ROK)
With your permission, Honored Elder.

GATH'ROK
(With a nod)
 Let us get underway.

EXT., THE VILLAGE SQUARE

A large crowd of NAUSICAANS have gathered in front of the medical aid canopy. The three NAUSICAAN CHIEFTAINS stand at the front of the crowd. 

COOPER, GATH'ROK, and his two NAUSICAAN LIEUTENANTS stand before the crowd, and GATH'ROK steps forward to address the assembled NAUSICAANS.

GATH'ROK
My people, I come before you, General Gath'Rok ZedGhar, the Beast of So'Ghar,
Defender of Nausicaa, and Scourge of the Breen. I have fought and sacrificed
alongside you, and in some cases, your fathers, to protect our home world, but
our battle is not over. Nausicaa needs strong and healthy warriors - 

A voice rings out from the back of the crowd. 

VOICE
You are a fool!

The crowd gasps and parts to reveal VORESH GRU'BAL, a Nausicaan trial chieftan who appears to be in his late twenties. He is accompanied by a phalanx of his own TRIBAL WARRIORS.

GATH'ROK
Voresh Gru'Bal. I see that you have yet to acquire
the wisdom of your father. He was a great man.

VORESH
Who are you to speak of wisdom, Gath'Rok? You speak of Nausicaa, 
and yet you surround yourself with humans, Andorians, Trill...

VORESH raises his voice to address the crowd.

VORESH
This foolish old man would have outsiders poison you all!

The NAUSICAANS in the crowd begin whispering to each other in hushed tones. 

TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 1
(To GATH'ROK)
Who are these people, Gath'Rok?

GATH'ROK gestures COOPER to come stand next to him.

GATH'ROK 
This man has saved the lives of my nephews and my granddaughter. 
He is my N'Chek Goq, which makes him ZedGhar. He is not an “outsider.”

GATH'ROK presses his bony plate to COOPER's forehead to demonstrate his point.

VORESH 
(Raising his arms in a gesture of incredulity)
There you have it! This senile old man welcomes the snake into his tent and declares
it to be his family. Don't be surprised when the serpent bites you, Gath'Rok!

GATH'ROK
In your father's time, Voresh, we crushed the Breen beneath our heel because
both De'Nai and TeGhot came together as one. Ta'Ruk GruBal knew that Nausicaa
is made stronger by its alliances. He would be grieved to see you dishonor his legacy - 

VORESH
My father would not have his people poisoned by the Federation!

COOPER looks to GATH'ROK, who nods, before stepping forward to address the crowd.

COOPER
These vaccines aren't poison. They're medicine. They keep you from getting sick.

VORESH
(Dismissively)
Human lies.

The crowd buzzes with uncertainty.

TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 2 
What's in these vaccines?

COOPER
These are synthetic copies of Orion tuberculosis antigens, which activate 
the body's immune system, prompting it to produce antibodies that.... 

The NAUSICAANS in the crowd look confused, closed-off, and skeptical, and COOPER trails off. Glancing at GATH'ROK, he is struck by inspiration.

COOPER
Vaccines prepare your body to fight disease - like a warrior training for battle.

This analogy piques the interest of the crowd, and GATH'ROK nods at COOPER. 

COOPER
You can't fight an enemy that you're not prepared for, and that's
what a vaccine does - it trains your body to fight an infection. 

VORESH
(To the crowd)
Do not put your trust in these outsiders. They will deceive you.

NAUSICAAN CHIEFTAIN 1
(To COOPER)
Voresh claims that you will poison us. For all we know, he may be right. 

COOPER
You know what? That's a fair question. Here - I'll go first. 

COOPER gestures to a MEDICAL AID VOLUNTEER, who brings him a hypospray. Holding the hypospray up for the crowd to see, COOPER puts it to his neck injects himself with the vaccine as they watch. 

He beckons CH'THANE and another SECTION 31 AGENT, who step forward and also receive vaccines. 

Finally, COOPER turns to GATH'ROK. GATH'ROK steps forward, and COOPER administers the vaccine to him as well. 

GATH'ROK steps forward, his arms outstretched.

GATH'ROK
If you believe that we have been poisoned, Voresh,
then you are welcome to wait around for us to die....

GATH'ROK's tone changes, and he stares down his rival.

GATH'ROK
And if you truly believe that I am a senile old man,
then you are welcome to meet me on the field of battle.

The crowd buzzes with excitement.

In the face of GATH'ROK's challenge, VORESH is silent, and GATH'ROK begins to turn away dismissively.

VORESH
You are making a mistake, old man! And so is anyone
who follows you. The Gru'Bal will have no part of this!

VORESH and his GRU'BAL TRIBAL WARRIORS turn and leave. And for a moment, the crowd stands poised and uncertain. GATH'ROK steps forward to address them again.

GATH'ROK
You all have a choice to make - you can retreat with Voresh, 
or you can prepare for battle with the Beast of So'Ghar!

After a tense moment, TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 1 steps forward.

TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 1
The YuKhez stand with the Beast of So'Ghar.

TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 1 steps forward and permits COOPER to administer the vaccine. Having received it, he approaches GATH'ROK, and they embrace, and press their bony plates together.

Seeing this, TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 2 steps forward.

TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 2
The Gra'Nod stand with the Beast of So'Ghar.

TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 2 steps forward and receives the vaccine, and then joins GATH'ROK, pressing his bony plate to those of GATH'ROK and TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 1.

TRIBAL CHIEFTAIN 3
As do the Tor-Rok. 

TRIBAL CHIEFTAN 3 steps forward and receives the vaccine, before approaching GATH'ROK and the other CHIEFTANS and pressing their bony plates together.

Seeing this, the NAUSICAANS in the crowd begin lining up and approaching COOPER and the MEDICAL AID VOLUNTEERS to be vaccinated.

EXT., THE VILLAGE, THAT EVENING

As the sun sets, COOPER and the MEDICAL AID VOLUNTEERS are packing up supplies, when COOPER is approached by DR. VARA REY.

VARA
You did a great job of explaining vaccines to the
crowd today. I might have to steal your material. 

She smiles and extends her hand, and COOPER shakes it.

VARA
Dr. Vara Rey.

COOPER
Dr. Jeffrey Cooper.

VARA
So, how does a human get himself adopted by the Beast of So'Ghar?

COOPER
Well, it's a long story, and I'm afraid that the parts
that aren't classified are actually pretty boring. 

VARA
Hmm. Sounds like you're a secret agent. 
(Joking) You're not Section 31, are you?

COOPER
Oh God, no. I just have a talent for getting roped into
things I can't talk about. So, what brings you here?

VARA
My father used to take me on medical aid missions when I was a little girl. 
He said that it was the most fulfilling part of being a doctor, and he was right. 
It's such a privilege to be able to help the people who need it most.

At that moment, GATH'ROK and CH'THANE approach COOPER. 

COOPER
(To VARA)
Excuse me, please.

He steps away from VARA.

COOPER
(To GATH'ROK)
Honored Elder, thank you again. We've helped so many people here today, 
and we could not have done it without the will of the Beast of So'Ghar.

This seems to humor GATH'ROK, and he tousles COOPER's hair with his sizeable hand.

GATH'ROK
If only all my sons would have shown such deference and respect.

COOPER
How many sons do you have, General?

GATH'ROK
Three. And the Breen took them all from me.

COOPER
I'm sorry. I had no idea.

GATH'ROK
Victory is often bitter and costly. It should only be sought when there is no other alternative.

He sighs.

GATH'ROK
Ta'Ruk GruBol was my friend. I am glad he did not live to see the leader that his son has become. 

CH'THANE
Doctor, I'll be accompanying the General to the Bo'Khaz province to meet with
some of the TeGhot tribes about staging medical aid missions there as well.
Assuming all goes well, I'll be back in three or four days. Agent Traeger and
Agent Gez will stay and handle mission security.

COOPER
Yes, Sir.

CH'THANE
And, Doctor?

COOPER
Yes?

CH'THANE
You handled yourself well today. 

COOPER
(Pleased by this unexpected praise)
Thank you, Sir.

CH'THANE
See you in a few days.

CH'THANE claps COOPER on the shoulder, and GATH'ROK presses his bony plate to COOPER's forehead, and then CH'THANE and GATH'ROK both head towards GATH'ROK's ship.

As COOPER stands there, taking all this in, VARA approaches him again.

VARA
Looks like I'm not the only person you impressed.

COOPER
(With a rueful chuckle)
That was more approval that I ever got from my father in my entire life.

VARA
Well, next time you see him, you can tell him that he's
got competition. Maybe that'll light a fire under him.

COOPER
Unfortunately, my father has passed - 

VARA
(Mortified)
Oh, no, I'm so sorry - 

COOPER
Because I'd love to see the look on his face when I tell him that
I'm going to go toss the ball around with a Nausicaan warlord.

VARA laughs, and she and COOPER return to packing up supplies.

EXT., THE VILLAGE IN RURAL NAUSICAA, A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER.

Even more NAUSICAANS are lined up across the plane to receive vaccinations.

Under the canopy, COOPER works side-by-side with VARA.

COOPER
I think today's our highest turn-out yet.

VARA
Will we have enough vaccine for everyone?

COOPER
We've got it programmed into the replicator so thankfully, that's not a
concern. We could vaccinate all of Nausicaa, and hopefully, someday we will.

A NAUSICAAN MOTHER, next in line, approaches COOPER and VARA. She is leading a very reluctant NAUSICAAN CHILD.

NAUSICAAN MOTHER
Come, Zola - 

NAUSICAAN CHILD
No! 

VARA kneels, so that she is at eye level with the NAUSICAAN CHILD.

VARA
Hi, I'm Dr. Vara. What's your name?

NAUSICAAN CHILD
(Reluctant)
... Zola.

VARA
That's a pretty name.

NAUSICAAN CHILD
I don't want a vaccine.

VARA
Why not?

NAUSICAAN CHILD
It'll hurt!

VARA
Actually, we use a hypospray and it just feels like a
puff of air against your skin. Would you like to see?

The NAUSICAAN CHILD nods.

VARA 
Hold out your hand.

The NAUSICAAN CHILD holds out her hand, and VARA discharges the hypospray into her palm.

VARA
Did that hurt?

The NAUSICAAN CHILD shakes her head.

VARA
Now, this time, it'll for real, okay?

The NAUSICAAN CHILD nods, closes her eyes, and braces for impact as VARA administers a hypospray to her neck. After a moment, she cautiously opens her eyes.

VARA
All done!

The NAUSICAAN CHILD impulsively hugs VARA and then runs off to play with her friends.

COOPER
(To VARA)
You're pretty good with kids.

VARA
Thanks... Say, you wouldn't happen to be single, would you?

COOPER
Oh, uh, actually -

VARA
Because my brother is a pediatric surgeon, and you're just his type.

COOPER
Your brother - ?

VARA opens her communicator and shows an image to COOPER.

COOPER
Yes, I am. I'm very single, actually.

VARA
After we're done here, our group is traveling to Na'Kesh to help treat the malaria
outbreak, and my brother is meeting us there. You should join us, if you can.

COOPER
I'll talk to the Commander about it when he
gets back, but I really don't see why I couldn't - 

At that moment, an ORION PATROL SHIP lands, sending the queued NAUSICAANS scattering in fear.

Two ORION PATROLMEN and a female PATROL CAPTAIN emerge from the ship, and the SECTION 31 OFFICERS raise their phaser rifles.

The female PATROL CAPTAIN strides forward.

PATROL CAPTAIN
(To COOPER)
On whose authority are you here?

COOPER
This is a humanitarian medical aid mission. The
interstellar accords allow for unrestricted travel - 

PATROL CAPTAIN
What government do you represent?

COOPER
We don't represent any government. We're volunteer medical providers, 
and we're here to inoculate people against the tuberculosis epidemic - 

PATROL CAPTAIN
(To the PATROLMEN)
Arrest them and confiscate their stock and equipment.  

The frightened MEDICAL AID VOLUNTEERS fall back and SECTION 31 AGENTS begin moving into position to engage, until COOPER steps forward with his hands raised in a non-threatening manner.

COOPER
I'm the one leading this mission. Dr. Jeffrey Cooper.
If you're going to arrest anyone, take me, and let the others go.

PATROL CAPTAIN
Why would we do that?

COOPER glances back at VARA and the other MEDICAL AID WORKERS.

COOPER
Because I'm the only doctor on-site. The rest of these people are just volunteers
who had to be trained on how to properly hold a hypospray. You can question
them all day long, and they won't be able to tell you anything. I'm the only one
who can provide you with any answers.

One of the SECTION 31 AGENTS steps forward.

SECTION 31 AGENT
(Sotto voice)
Doctor, we can't allow you - 

COOPER
(Also sotto voice)
These people are civilian doctors volunteering their time. They don't have
interrogation training. I do. Tell the Commander what happened when he gets back. 

SECTION 31 AGENT
It's too dangerous - 

COOPER
I've done medical aid missions in high-conflict areas before. These guys
are just throwing their weight around in front of the locals.They're going
to take me to the nearest patrol post, and whoever's in charge there will
release me after a few hours once they realize this is all above board.
Worst case scenario, they rough me up a little, and you guys have to
bribe them to release me.

Before the SECTION 31 AGENT can object again, COOPER steps up to the PATROL CAPTAIN and extends his arms to be cuffed.

The PATROL CAPTAIN comes to stand extremely close to COOPER.

PATROL CAPTAIN
You're the one in charge?

COOPER nods.

PATROL CAPTAIN
And you're the only doctor here?

COOPER
Yes. 

She studies COOPER for a long moment before she finally nods.

PATROL CAPTAIN
(To the PATROLMEN)
He's telling the truth. Confiscate their equipment and medication. 

ORION PATROLMAN
What about the others?

PATROL CAPTAIN
Leave them. Let these do-gooder tourists figure out how to survive out here - 

With a flick of her wrists, the PATROL CAPTAIN draws two phasers from concealed wrist holsters and shoots both SECTION 31 AGENTS. 

PATROL CAPTAIN 
... without their security guards.

She holsters her phasers, cuffs COOPER, and an ORION PATROLMAN covers his head with a black bag. She leads COOPER to the Orion patrol ship, as the ORION PATROLMEN confiscate and load crates of medical equipment and vaccines.

INT., INTERROGATION CHAMBER, SOME TIME LATER

COOPER is roughly deposited into a chair, and the bag is removed from his head. Blinking his eyes, he sees GENERAL VER'AAN RAJET standing before him.

VER'AAN RAJET
Dr. Cooper.

COOPER
General RaJet. I must be a bigger deal than I thought. 

VER'AAN RAJET
What is the Federation doing on Nausicaa?

COOPER
The Federation isn't doing anything. I'm leading a
humanitarian medical aid mission in a volunteer capacity - 

VER'AAN RAJET
Where you just happened to run into all five So'Ghar tribal chieftains?

She leans in close.

VER'AAN RAJET
I'd say that makes you a pretty big deal.

COOPER 
General, we've vaccinated almost twenty thousand people in three days. 
I couldn't tell you if the former Nausicaan prime minister showed up. 

VER'AAN RAJET
So you're denying that Gath'Rok ZedGhar was there?

COOPER
I'm saying I have no idea who was there. There were too many people - 

VER'AAN RAJET
Because there were reports that he embraced you, and called you his son.

COOPER
My forehead is sore from being embraced by Nausicaans. I've lost count of - 

VERAAN RAJET
So he did embrace you?

COOPER
I have no idea. No one's even sure if Gath'Rok is alive, and if he is, he's a very old man - 

VER'AAN RAJET
A very dangerous old man.

COOPER
Again, I don't - 

VER'AAN RAJET
Dr. Cooper, why would my sources lie to me?

COOPER
Oh, I don't know. There seems to be a lot of misinformation floating around Nausicaa
these days. Something about "freedom" and "liberation" under the Orion flag....

VER'AAN RAJET ignores this barb. 

VER'AAN RAJET
You certainly know a lot about Nausicaa, for someone
who's only here as part of a volunteer aid mission.

COOPER
It's standard to read up on the places where you'll be volunteering.

VER'AAN RAJET
Who sent you here?

COOPER
The mission was funded by a wealthy philanthropist. 

VAR'AAN RAJET
Who?

COOPER
I don't know. He wanted to remain anonymous.

VER'AAN RAJET
And you didn't find that suspicious?

COOPER
Honestly? I don't care if the whole thing is a Ferengi money-laundering scheme.
What I care about is providing medical aid - 

VER'AAN RAJET
Let's talk about that. What's in these vaccines you're giving out?

COOPER
Synthetic tuberculosis antigens. 

VER'AAN RAJET
What else?

COOPER
That's it.

VER'AAN REJET
.... Does the Federation have an Orion pheromone vaccine?

COOPER
I don't know, and that has nothing to do with why we're here.
All we are doing is inoculating people against tuberculosis - 

VER'AAN RAJET
Let's skip past the part where you lie to me, and I pretend to believe you. 
I think this "medical aid mission" is a bid by the Federation to stir up
a Nausicaan insurgency.

COOPER
I'm not here on behalf of the Federation, and I'm certainly not here
to stir up an insurgency. I'm a doctor. I'm here to treat sick people. 

VER'AAN RAJET
How many people has the Federation sent to infiltrate Nausicaa?

COOPER
The Federation hasn't sent anyone - 

VER'AAN RAJET
How many people has the Federation sent to infiltrate Nausicaa?!

COOPER
No one.

VER'AAN RAJET
We have other ways of extracting information, you know. 

VER'AAN RAJET picks up a frightening-looking prod from a nearby table and walks slowly toward COOPER with it.

VER'AAN RAJET
For the last time, how many people has the Federation sent - 

COOPER
No one, okay? The Federation doesn't give a damn about Nausicaa! Believe me, 
I wish they did, but they don't. They haven't cared for over a century, 
they're not going to suddenly start caring now.

VER'AAN RAJET studies COOPER carefully.

COOPER
I'm here because I have a Nausicaan patient with T’Karr’s Syndrome that
the Federation could have helped, and didn't. If I can ease the suffering - 

VER'AAN RA'JET
(Mocking)
Right, right. You're just a tortured soul serving penance for
his guilty conscience on a backwards, poverty-stricken planet. 

VER'AAN RAJET sneers contemptuously.

VER'AAN RA'JET
We both know that you're here as part of an intelligence mission. 

COOPER
No, I am not.

VER'AAN RAJET stands over COOPER.

VER'AAN RAJET
Dr. Cooper, this is your last chance to be honest with me. What's in those vaccines?

COOPER
Synthetic tuberculosis antigens. That's all.

VER'AAN RAJET
Well, we'll find out soon enough. We've confiscated your vaccine stock and we're going to
find out what's in it. We're also sending you for enhanced interrogation. You ought to
know all about that from your black-badged associates. And then we'll find out exactly
why you're here and what you're doing on Nausicaa. 

COOPER is silent.

VER'AAN RAJET signals the nearby ORION GUARD, who puts the black bag back over COOPER's head.

INT., THE CARGO HOLD OF AN ORION SUPPLY FREIGHTER, SOME TIME LATER

COOPER, still manacled, is sitting on the floor of the cargo hold, when the bag over his head is removed by the male ORION GUARD. Looking around, COOPER sees the crates of vaccines and medical supplies from the medical aid mission stacked against the far wall.

COOPER
Where are you taking me?

ORION GUARD
Nowhere you're going to be happy about.

COOPER
 Listen, there's been a terrible mistake. I'm a doctor, and - 

ORION GUARD
Shut up, or the bag goes back on. 

As COOPER contemplates his situation, the ship is rocked by a blast. The ORION GUARD opens his communicator.

ORION GUARD
Helm, what's going on up there?

VOICE OVER COMMUNICATOR
We're being fired on by an unmarked vessel - 

ORION GUARD
Well, raise shields!

VOICE OVER COMMUNICATOR
They've got us in a tractor beam!

At that moment, CH'THANE beams in behind the ORION GUARD. 

As the ORION GUARD starts to turn around, CH'THANE grabs his head and snaps his neck. 

CH'THANE then steps over to COOPER and produces a thumb-sized device from an inside pocket that releases COOPER's manicles with the press of a button. Pocketing the device, he gestures at the crates of medical supplies. 

CH'THANE 
Doctor, is that everything the Orions confiscated from the medical aid mission?

COOPER
Yes, Sir.

CH'THANE
You're certain?

COOPER nods, puzzled by this exchange.

Satisfied, CH'THANE quickly places two small objects on either side of the cargo hold before he again approaches COOPER and taps his comm badge.

CH'THANE
Two to beam up.

INT., SECTION 31 RUNABOUT

HARPER sits at the helm, when COOPER and CH'THANE materialize in the runabout. 

CH'THANE
Agent Harper, target the forward section of the cargo hold. Starboard and port.

HARPER
Aye, Sir.

EXT., SPACE

The SECTION 31 runabout fires phaser cannons at the freighter’s cargo hold. The blasts strike the ship, and the resulting explosion in the cargo hold obliterates the freighter completely.

INT., SECTION 31 RUNABOUT

COOPER turns to CH'THANE.

COOPER
Commander, the other medical aid workers - 

CH'THANE
They're safe. We tried to evacuate them, but they insisted on going on to Na'Kesh.

COOPER nods, relieved.

CH'THANE
Agent Harper, take us out of Nausicaan space, and then I want you to take a
shuttle back to the station. The doctor and I have a few loose ends to wrap up.

HARPER
Yes, Sir. 

She begins touching panels and flipping switches.

CH'THANE
Are you getting enough rest?

HARPER
Sir - 

CH'THANE
Smith isn't pushing you too hard, is he?

HARPER turns around in her seat.

HARPER
Commander, I'm having a child, not turning into one.

CH'THANE
(Bellicose)
The well-being of the agents under my command is my responsibility!

HARPER raises her eyebrows.

CH'THANE
... But your point is taken.

COOPER suppresses a smile as HARPER turns back to the console and CH'THANE grumpily takes a seat beside her.

INT., THE RUNABOUT, A FEW HOURS LATER

CH'THANE and COOPER now sit at the helm. 

COOPER
Commander, we're receiving a set of coordinates on a subspace frequency.

CH'THANE
We're going to rendezvous with Gath'Rok. I need you to go replicate as much
of the vaccine as you can to replace the stock was confiscated and destroyed,
because we're going to hand it off to the General. He'll ensure that the
vaccination efforts on Nausicaa continue.

COOPER
Yes, Sir. 

COOPER gets up to head to the back of the runabout, and then turns back.

COOPER
Sir, I just want to say how much I appreciate Section 31 putting the
time and resources into this vaccination program. You're saving lives.

CH'THANE nods and turns his attention to the console. COOPER heads to the replicator at the back of the runabout.

INT., THE BACK OF THE RUNABOUT

Standing at the replicator, COOPER punches in a code. An image of a molecular structure comes up on the screen. COOPER starts to tap the replicator, and then takes another look at the molecular image. He stops.

COOPER
Computer, show me the molecular composition of the Orion tuberculosis vaccine on file.

More images flash across the screen.

COOPER's eyes widen in recognition, and he looks back at CH'THANE.

INT., THE HELM OF THE RUNABOUT

COOPER approaches CH'THANE.

COOPER
(In a low and measured tone)
Commander, what's in the vaccine that we've been administering?

CH'THANE
(Without turning around)
How the hell should I know? You're the one with the medical degree.

COOPER is quiet for a moment before he speaks again.

COOPER
Commander, the vaccine pattern stored in the replicator
contains synthetic tuberculosis and Orion pheromone antigens.

CH'THANE says nothing as he focuses on piloting the runabout.

COOPER
Did you think that I wouldn't recognize the Orion pheromone vaccine that I developed?

CH'THANE remains silent.

COOPER
(Growing irate)
Were we inoculating Nausicaans against Orion pheromones without telling them?!

CH'THANE turns in his seat.

CH'THANE
Yes, Doctor. You were.

COOPER
(Incensed)
I told those people they were getting a tuberculosis vaccine! 
Lying to a patient is a huge violation of medical ethics - 

CH'THANE
(Calmly)
Doctor, you've seen for yourself the hold that Orion pheromones exert, and the havoc
they wreak on the population. By neutralizing those pheromones, we are saving the
Nausicaan people from mind control, forced conscription, and slavery - 

COOPER
And endangering every medical aid volunteer on Nausicaa if the Orions ever find out!
The medical aid volunteers and the patients should have been fully informed
about what was going on. 

CH'THANE
Orion occupying forces never would have permitted a vaccination
drive that included a pheromone innoculant, and you know it.

COOPER
We vaccinated those people without their consent!

CH'THANE
Did Orion get Nausicaa's consent before they invaded?

COOPER
We are supposed to be better than that! 

COOPER takes a moment to collect himself.

COOPER
When we rendezvous with General Gath'Rok, I'm telling him exactly what's in those vaccines.

CH'THANE
Go ahead. The General is well aware. 

COOPER is stunned into silence.

CH'THANE
The pheromone vaccine was crucial to getting the General onboard. Without the ability
to resist Orion pheromones, Nausicaans would just get conscripted into fighting a war
against their own people. They don't stand a chance at retaking their planet
without those vaccines. 

COOPER's eyes widen in realization.

COOPER
... This whole medical aid mission was just a black ops mission in disguise... 

COOPER looks at CH'THANE pointedly.

COOPER
Is Section 31 engineering a Nausicaan uprising? 

CH'THANE returns his stare.

CH'THANE
Do you believe that the people of Nausicaa are better off under Orion rule?

COOPER
That's not the point! 

CH'THANE
If Orion succeeds at taking over Nausicaa, they won't stop there. They'll invade Yridia or
Bajor, or maybe even a Federation planet next. And they'll come with an armada crewed by
Nausicaan conscripts and powered by dilithium from Nausicaan mines. I will be damned if
we defeat the Dominion just to end up living under an Orion kleptocracy! 

COOPER
The ethical implications of what you're doing - 

CH'THANE
Oh, spare me the ethics lecture. The only reason you're able to wring your hands and
clutch your pearls about ethics and prime directives is because Section 31 is out here
fighting monsters on their own terms. You get to hold on to your ethics
because we don't, Doctor! 

CH'THANE leans back in his seat.

CH'THANE
And let's be clear about something - the reason you Starfleet officers hold 
Section 31 in such contempt is because deep down, you know that Starfleet 
can't exist without us. You need us, Doctor, whether you like it or not.

CH'THANE turns back to the console.

CH'THANE
Now, I am ordering you to go replicate that vaccine for General Gath'Rok. 

COOPER
No, Sir. I will not.

CH'THANE turns and fixes COOPER with a hard stare, which COOPER returns. After a tense face-off, CH'THANE stands.

CH'THANE
Fine. I'm ordering you to pilot this ship to those coordinates. 
I will replicate the vaccine.

The two men face off for another moment before COOPER reluctantly nods. He takes CH'THANE's place at the helm as CH'THANE heads to the replicator.

INT., THE RUNABOUT, SOMETIME LATER

COOPER, CH'THANE and GATH'ROK stand in front of a stack of crates of vaccine.

CH'THANE
... there's plenty here, but if you need more, you've got my subspace frequency. 

CH'THANE turns and looks at COOPER expectantly, and COOPER is quiet for a moment. Finally, he holds up a hypospray unit.

COOPER
The hyposprays will take a reading of the patient and calibrate the dose
automatically. You just have to hold it to the recipient's carotid artery,
wait for thelight to turn green, and then press down.

GATH'ROK
(With a nod)
This will save many lives.

COOPER nods, but he does not look GATH'ROK in the eye.

GATH'ROK places a hand on both CH'THANE's and COOPER's shoulders.

GATH'ROK
You have done Nausicaa and its people a great service. 

CH'THANE
Nausicaa's future is great.

GATH'ROK presses his bony plate to COOPER's forehead and ruffles his hair.

GATH'ROK
You have done well, N'chek Goq.

COOPER swallows and finally responds.

COOPER
(Subdued)
... Ga'chool ja wei, Honored Elder. 

GATH'ROK nods and taps his communicator, and he beams out with the crates of vaccines.

INT., THE SECTION 31 RUNABOUT, SOME TIME LATER

CH'THANE and COOPER both sit silently at the helm as the ship hurtles through space toward the station.

COMPUTER
Incoming call from Star Base 80, classification level Gamma 6.

CH'THANE
Onscreen.

AGENT SMITH appears on the view screen.

AGENT SMITH
Glad to see you both. Are you out of Nausicaan space?

CH'THANE nods.

CH'THANE
We've already met with the General, and we're headed home. 
We should be there in a few hours.

AGENT SMITH
Good. Our sources are reporting that Orion patrols have
attacked medical aid missions at Kuh'rok and Na'Kesh.

COOPER
(Urgently)
The volunteers from our mission went to Na'Kesh. 
We have to contact them and find out if there are casualties - 

AGENT SMITH
They're all casualties, Doctor. The Orions didn't leave survivors. 

COOPER sits back in his chair, reeling from the news.

AGENT SMITH
Glad you both made it out. We'll see you back on base. Smith out.

The viewscreen goes black, and there is a moment of silence.

CH'THANE
Doctor, I'm sorry - 

COOPER
Your deception killed those people.

He turns on CH'THANE.

COOPER 
You killed those people.

CH'THANE
They knew the risks when they entered an active war zone.

COOPER
They should have been offered an informed choice! 

CH'THANE 
No one chooses to be a casualty of war, Doctor. 

COOPER is silent for a long moment before he responds. 

COOPER
(Quietly livid)
If you truly believe that Starfleet needs Section 31, then Section 31 needs Starfleet just
as much, if not more. Because protecting Starfleet's ethics is the only thing that separates
you from the monsters you're fighting.

COOPER turns back to the console.

COOPER
Don't ever put me in this position again.

CH'THANE has no response to hearing his own words echoing in his ears. He turns back to the console as well, and they continue their journey in silence.

ROLL CREDITS

 

Chapter 17: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 S5, E6 In a Strange Land, Part 1: The Novice

Summary:

What do a rookie Section 31 agent and a Vulcan monk have in common? They're both about to get their asses handed to them.

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 S5, E6 In a Strange Land, Part 1: The Novice

EST., EXT., THE VULCAN MONASTERY ON REGULUS

There is a light dusting of snow on ancient stone monastery, which sits overlooking a village far below. 

INT., THE MONASTERY, TEVIK'S QUARTERS

The room is spartan. There is a straw mattress and a blanket on the floor, a crude wooden desk, and a stool. TEVIK sits at the desk. He unrolls a sheet of parchment, dips a quill into an inkwell, and begins to write.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
Initiate monk's log: I am adapting to life at the So'Kahn monastery on Regulus.
The Order is comprised of monks penitent, and their way of life has deviated
little since the monastery's founding in the fourth century. As may be expected,
the daily routines are - 

TEVIK pauses to consider his next word. Finally he settles on one, and returns to writing.

TEVIK
... grueling.

INT., THE SANCTUARY, BEFORE DAWN

VULCAN MONKS sit in even rows on the stone floor meditating, surrounded by candles.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
Our day begins before dawn with four hours of meditation, focusing on the teachings
of So'Kahn, a Kolinahr master who came to Surat seeking absolution after killing his
brother during a violent outburst. Over the course of his studies, So'Kahn came to
believe that Kolinahr cannot be attained without first atoning for one's
transgressions through a life dedicated to logic, discipline, and austerity.

EXT., THE MOUNTAIN PATH TO THE MONASTERY, EARLY MORNING

TEVIK makes the laborious climb up the steep mountain path toward the monastery. He is carrying two large buckets of water attached to a crude wooden yoke that he balances on his shoulders.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
Following the morning meditation, we attend
to the tasks required to sustain the monastery.

TEVIK stops, looks up at the monastery in the distance, adjusts the yoke on his shoulders, and then continues on his ascent up the mountain.

INT., THE MONASTERY DINING HALL, MID-DAY

The VULCAN MONKS are lined up, holding bowls. One by one, they approach a MONK ladling stew out of a large pot. 

TEVIK
(In voice over)
The monastery grows its own food from the
gardens, and we are fed enough to sustain us. 

TEVIK steps forward and receives a ladle full of vegetable stew in his bowl. It does not look particularly appetizing.

EXT., THE MONASTERY GROUNDS, AFTERNOON

Within the stone walls surrounding the monastery courtyard, VULCAN MONKS attend to a vegetable garden. 

Next to the vegetable garden, on an adjacent plot of land, a MONK stands waiting behind a plow. TEVIK approaches him.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
The Order does not believe in using animals as beasts of burden...

The MONK nods at TEVIK, and TEVIK buckles himself into the harness attached to the plow, and begins to pull the plow with great effort.

INT., THE MONASTERY SANCTUARY, EVENING

TEVIK is on his hands and knees next to a bucket of water, scrubbing the sanctuary floor.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
... because one of the core tenants of So'Kahn's teachings is that
discipline must be maintained through labor, service, and sacrifice.

EXT., THE MONASTERY GROUNDS, AFTERNOON

TEVIK pulls the plow, breaking ground under the mid-day sun. He is straining with effort and soaked with sweat. 

As he comes to the end of a row, he is approached by a very ELDERLY MONK carrying a bucket of water and a ladle. 

The ELDERLY MONK dips the ladle into the bucket and offers it to TEVIK, who drinks thirstily. 

TEVIK
(In voice over)
The Order of So'Kahn adheres to a vow of silence. It
is intended to focus the mind and sublimate the ego. 

TEVIK hands the ladle back to the ELDERLY MONK, and nods his thanks. The ELDERLY MONK returns his nod of gratitude. 

TEVIK
(In voice over)
It has the added effect of fostering a deep sense of community within these walls.

EST., EXT., STAR BASE 80

The station is a beacon in the void of space.

HARPER
(In voice over)
Chief Security Agent's Log: Today, I'm receiving my first solo foreign assignment
as an agent for Section 31, and I'm really excited about it.... Unfortunately, not
everyone feels the same way.

INT., STATION HALLWAY

NACK and HARPER are walking side-by-side, engaged in an animated conversation.

NACK
... Well, I worry about you. I mean, where are they going to be sending you?

HARPER
I don't know. I haven't gotten the assignment yet.

NACK
What if it's dangerous? 

HARPER
Nack, I've had dangerous assignments before.

NACK
Yeah, and I didn't like it then, either. I mean, they're just going to send you
into God-knows-where - what if you run into the Breen? Or the Jem Ha'dar?

HARPER
I've been an agent for all of three weeks, Nack. I doubt they're going to drop me deep behind
enemy lines. Besides, Agent Smith said he thought this assignment was a good fit for me.

NACK
What does that mean?

HARPER
I don't know.

NACK
Should you even be working at all in your condition? 

HARPER stops walking and looks at him sharply. 

NACK
Look, I know that humans don't believe in taking care of their women, but on Ferenginar,
expectant moogies are cosseted. Emma, if we were there right now, you'd be waited on
hand and foot, not being sent into danger on some backwater planet. Ferengi consider
carrying a lobeling to be one of the most important things that a female can -  

HARPER
Well, we are not on Ferenginar, and I am not just an analog life support system for your child!
I am a capable, competent adult with a job to do, and I'm late for a briefing in Section Four. 

With that, HARPER exits briskly down the hallway. 

INT., AGENT SMITH'S OFFICE, A SHORT TIME LATER

AGENT SMITH'S office is shrouded in darkness, with the only light coming from a small desk lamp. 

AGENT SMITH sits behind his desk, and HARPER sits in front of him, reading a padd. She looks up.

HARPER
Are you sure?

AGENT SMITH's only response is a subtle raise of the eyebrow and tilt of his chin.

EXT., EST., REGULUS, THE COLONY BELOW THE MONASTERY

The colony consists of several small homes, and ANDORIAN COLONISTS going about their day. 

A small group of VULCAN MONKS enter the village, TEVIK among them. The MONKS split up and go separate ways. 

TEVIK
(In voice over)
The monastery overlooks an Andorian colony that serves as a freighter junction between
Vulcan and Andoria. The monastery has coexisted peacefully with the colonists for generations. 

One of the MONKS approaches an ELDERLY ANDORIAN WOMAN who is sweeping her porch. He silently extends his hands, palms open, for the broom she is holding, and she gives it to him with a smile. The MONK nods and begins sweeping the porch for her

TEVIK
In accordance with So'Kahn's teachings, the monks
regularly go into the colony to perform acts of service.

TEVIK continues walking down the road. He passes by a wall where someone has crudely painted a large knife sticking through the United Federation of Planets symbol. 

A group of ANDORIAN FREIGHTER CREWMEN loiter near the defaced wall. They are all tattooed, the sides of their heads are shaved, and they watch the MONKS as they pass.
As TEVIK passes a house, he notices KELLEN, a ten-year-old Andorian boy, laboring over a generator affixed to the side of the small dwelling. 

As TEVIK stops and watches, KELLEN applies a hyperspanner to the generator and gets a nasty shock. With a cry of pain, he drops the hyperspanner. 
TEVIK approaches KELLEN, who looks up and notices his presence for the first time.

KELLEN
You're one of those monks.

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN
You guys aren't allowed to speak.

TEVIK nods again, and gestures toward the generator.

KELLEN
I've been trying to fix our generator, but I can't figure it out. 

TEVIK sits down next to KELLEN. He studies the generator, and then points at one of the panels, and then gestures to another part of the machine.

KELLEN
Yeah, it's something with the conductors, I think,
because it starts up, but then it goes out again.

TEVIK nods and picks up one of the tools. He opens the panel and makes an adjustment, studies it for a moment, and then turns to KELLEN and shakes his head.

KELLEN
It's not the conductor?

TEVIK nods. 

KELLEN
Oh....

Taking up the hyperspanner, TEVIK begins removing the main generator panel.

KELLEN
(Alarmed)
Hey, what are you doing?

TEVIK removes the main panel and sets it aside. He studies the guts of the machine, and then points to a small component near the heart of it.

KELLEN
The containment regulator?

TEVIK nods. He reaches for the hyperspanner again, and then points to a connecting joint. 

KELLEN
The field connector?

TEVIK nods again and holds up both of his hands, parallel to one another. He then turns his wrist so that one of his hands is at a 45 degree angle to the other.

KELLEN
... It's out of alignment?

TEVIK nods, and then gestures with the hyperspanner, which he then places in KELLEN's hand.

KELLEN
I - I don't -

TEVIK puts his hand over KELLEN's, guides it into place, and makes a tightening gesture. KELLEN looks at TEVIK with uncertainty, but begins making the adjustments. 

EST., EXT., FERENGINAR 

The skies are grey, and at the moment, Ferenginar's perpetual rains are a light mist. 

EXT., THE FINANCE DISTRICT OF THE FERENGI CAPITOL CITY

HARPER walks along the crowded city street, carrying an umbrella under her arm. She is wearing civilian clothing and ostentatious Ferengi jewelry. The crowds are composed of male FERENGI, who leer at her as she passes by.

HARPER
(In voice over)
I'm traveling to Ferenginar to make contact with someone who says he has an in
with the Ferengi Commerce Authority. Agent Smith seems certain that I'm a good
match for this assignment, but I can't help but worry that his confidence is misplaced.
How the heck am I supposed to make connections and build relationships with the Ferengi,
when I couldn't even plan a wedding with one?

Arriving at an upscale cafe, HARPER takes a seat at an outdoor table for two. As she sits waiting and people watching, the FERENGI CONTACT, who has been observing from across the street, approaches her and takes the seat across from her.

HARPER
Beautiful day, isn't it?

FERENGI CONTACT
I'd say so. Bloodworms are up in the commodities market.

HARPER nods.

HARPER
I was told by our mutual friend that - 

FERENGI CONTACT
Did he also tell you I don't work for free?

The FERENGI CONTACT produces a padd. HARPER looks at the number on the padd and then up at the FERENGI CONTACT.

HARPER
You can't be serious.

The FERENGI CONTACT tucks the padd away in his jacket and gets up to leave.

HARPER
No, wait!

The FERENGI CONTACT retakes his seat and looks at her expectantly. 

HARPER
... I just - it just seems like that's, um, maybe a little high? Are you
sure we couldn't, um, maybe get some kind of a, uh...  a discount?

The FERENGI CONTACT leans forward and leers at HARPER.

FERENGI CONTACT
I'm a reasonable manferengi. If the price is too steep,
then I'm sure that you and I can... work something out.

HARPER
No. That won't be necessary.

The FERENGI CONTACT produces his padd again, and HARPER reluctantly presses her thumb to it. The FERENGI CONTACT smiles, exposing his pointed teeth.

EXT., THE COLONY ON REGULUS

KELLEN and TEVIK replace the front panel on the generator, and KELLEN throws a switch on the side. The generator hums to life, and he turns to TEVIK excitedly.

KELLEN
We did it!

The door to the house opens, and KELLEN's mother, SHARNA, comes outside. Her careworn demeanor does not detract from her loveliness and warmth.

SHARNA
Kellen?

She stops abruptly at the sight of KELLEN and TEVIK.

KELLEN
Mom, we did it - we fixed the generator!

SHARNA
You did?

KELLEN
Yeah, me and - 

He glances over at TEVIK.

KELLEN
Uh, I don't actually know his name.

SHARNA
Of course. Well... thank you to our new friend. 

TEVIK nods.

SHARNA
I'm Sharna, and you obviously know Kellen - 

KELLEN 
Mom, can he stay for dinner?

SHARNA
Well, he helped get the generator running again - I'd say it's the least we can do.

SHARNA turns and heads into the house, and KELLEN starts to follow, and then he turns to TEVIK.

KELLEN
Come on!

TEVIK follows SHARNA and KELLEN inside.

EXT., FERENGINAR MANUFACTURING DISTRICT

HARPER walks the crowded streets once again. The mists are now a drizzle, and the factories emit thick black smoke into the skies.

HARPER
(In voice over)
After being paid a sizeable finder's fee, our contact has put me
in touch with Pog, an actuary who works in an FCA satellite office.

She turns down a side street and into an alley. She climbs up on a loading dock and approaches the back door of one of the buildings. She waves her hand over a panel, and a buzzing noise emanates from it.

VOICE FROM INSIDE
Whaddya want?

HARPER
I'm here to meet Pog? We have a mutual - 

The door slides open, and POG, a ferengi in a cheap suit, stands in the doorway.

HARPER
... friend.

POG looks HARPER over approvingly.

POG
Lep sent you, did he?

HARPER nods.

POG
Well, you've come to the right place.

HARPER
Really? Because Lep said you were an actuary.

POG crosses his arms.

POG
So?

HARPER
So, why are we meeting on a loading dock in the manufacturing district?

POG pulls a padd out of his jacket.

POG
Depends. How bad do you want to know the answer?

HARPER sighs and presses her thumb to the padd. POG then tucks the padd away with a smirk. 

POG
(Shrugging)
What can I say? The Blessed Exchequer works in mysterious ways.

HARPER
What?

POG
Anyway, I'm not the guy you want to talk to. I'm
just the middleman. You want to talk to Chup. 

HARPER
Who's Chup?

POG pulls out his padd again, and HARPER's shoulders slump.

INT., SHARNA'S HOUSE 

The house is modest but tidy. KELLEN and TEVIK sit at a kitchen table while SHARNA labors over a stove a short distance away.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
While the Brothers of So'Kahn are not permitted to accept remuneration
of any kind for our labors, we may accept hospitality, if it is freely offered.

SHARNA brings a pot to the table and removes the lid, revealing a mouth-watering casserole. She dishes out a sizeable portion on a plate, which she sets in front of TEVIK.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
I must admit, in light of the austerity of our diet, this hospitality is... most welcome.

After dishing out portions for herself and KELLEN, SHARNA stakes the seat across from TEVIK.

SHARNA
You must be new. I don't think I've seen you around before. 

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN
Mom says you guys are monks penitent, and you're
all at the monastery because you're atoning for stuff.

TEVIK nods again.

KELLEN
(With morbid fascination)
Did you kill someone?

SHARNA
Kellen! 

She steals a quick glance at TEVIK.

TEVIK shakes his head. SHARNA looks relieved, and KELLEN looks both relieved and disappointed.

SHARNA
We appreciate your help fixing the generator.

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN
Normally my brother Nathar fixes stuff, but he's stationed
on the Yorktown. He joined Starfleet to fight the Dominion.

SHARNA
Kellen - 

KELLEN
What? He did. 

KELLEN turns his attention back to TEVIK.

KELLEN
Starfleet is the best of the best. That's why Nathar joined,
and why I'm going to join, when I'm old enough. 

KELLEN pauses to take a bite of his food.

KELLEN
(To TEVIK)
Have you ever met anyone from Starfleet?

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN
Well, my brother's going to whoop the Jem Had'ar and the Dominion and - 

SHARNA
Kellen, you're talking too much. It's rude.

KELLEN
Why? (Gesturing at TEVIK) It's not like he's trying to get a word in edgewise.

The corner of TEVIK's mouth twitches upward.

SHARNA
(To KELLEN)
Eat.

KELLEN moodily stabs his food with his fork, and TEVIK looks down at his own plate to hide the faintest hint of a smile.

INT., SHARNA'S HOUSE, A SHORT WHILE LATER

The meal is finished, and KELLEN is clearing plates away.

SHARNA
Kellen, when you're done clearing the table, it's time to study.

KELLEN
But, Mom

They are interrupted by a knock at the door, and SHARNA and KELLEN both freeze.

SHARNA
(To KELLEN)
Stay here.

As TEVIK and KELLEN watch from the kitchen, SHARNA goes to the door and opens it a crack.

EXT., SHARNA'S DOORSTEP

RAZOTH, one of the Andorian freighter crewman seen loitering earlier in the day, stands on SHARNA's doorstep. He has obviously been drinking.

RAZOTH
Sharna - 

SHARNA
(Through the crack in the door)
I told you not to come here anymore. Please leave.

INT., SHARNA'S KITCHEN

SHARNA stands talking to RAZOTH through the door, while KELLEN and TEVIK watch.

KELLEN
(To TEVIK)
That's Razoth. Mom broke up with him, but he still shows up sometimes.

TEVIK watches the unfolding conversation intently.

EXT., SHARNA'S DOORSTEP

RAZOTH
I just - I just want to talk to you - 

SHARNA
Razoth -  

RAZOTH
Come on, Sharna. I just want to come in for a few minutes

INT., SHARNA'S KITCHEN

As TEVIK and KELLEN watch, it becomes apparent that RAZOTH is trying to push his way into the house. 

SHARNA
Please - 

TEVIK's brow knits slightly, and KELLEN puts down the plate he is holding.

EXT., SHARNA'S DOORSTEP

RAZOTH is pushing at the door.

RAZOTH
(Growing agitated)
I said, I just want to talk to you!

SHARNA
And I'm asking you to leave.

RAZOTH manages to push the door open. As soon as he does, KELLEN appears at SHARNA's side.

KELLEN
Hey, leave my mom alone!

RAZOTH turns his attention to KELLEN, looking down and jabbing a finger at him.

RAZOTH
Shut up, Kellen! No one was talking to you.

When RAZOTH looks up again, he finds that he is not looking at SHARNA, as expected, but rather, he is staring directly at TEVIK's chest. 

He looks up at TEVIK, who is over a head taller than him, and even in his initiate monk's robes, intimidating.

TEVIK stares RAZOTH down. SHARNA, standing beside and slightly behind TEVIK, asserts herself.

SHARNA
(Calmly)
Razoth, I'm asking you to leave. 

RAZOTH
Really, Sharna? You'd let one of them in your house?

SHARNA
It's late, and Kellen has to study. Please leave.

RAZOTH looks up at TEVIK again, and then back at SHARNA.

RAZOTH
You know these monks are pacifists, right? If I wanted to
come in right now, there's nothing he could do about it.

RAZOTH makes a move to push past TEVIK, and TEVIK raises an eyebrow. This causes RAZOTH to waver and back down.

RAZOTH 
(Contemptuously)
... Who'd want to come in, anyway? The place smells like Vulcan.

With that, RAZOTH leaves, muttering under his breath, and SHARNA closes the door.

INT., SHARNA'S HOUSE

SHARNA turns to KELLEN. 

SHARNA
Kellen, it's time to study.

KELLEN
Mom - 

SHARNA
(Firmly)
Kellen.

KELLEN
Okay....

KELLEN goes to his room and closes the door, and SHARNA sits down at the table and beckons TEVIK to sit across from her.

SHARNA
(Sotto voice)
The boys' father died a few years ago. It was hard on Kellen.
And ever since Nathar enlisted, he's been struggling.

TEVIK nods.

SHARNA looks down at her hands.

SHARNA
(With regret)
... One of the reasons I started seeing Razoth is because I thought
that it would be good for Kellen to have a strong male role model.

She looks up at TEVIK.

SHARNA
I'm sorry. You must think that - 

TEVIK gives her a look of compassion, and shakes his head, and SHARNA acknowledges this with a faint smile.

SHARNA
Well, you probably need to get back -  

TEVIK looks pointedly at the front door, and raises his eyebrows.

SHARNA
No, I don't think Razoth will be back.
He only comes around when he's been drinking. 

She sighs.

SHARNA
Anyway, he'll probably sign on for another long haul soon, and we won't
have to deal with him for another six months. Maybe a year, if we're lucky.

EXT., SHARNA'S DOORSTEP 

SHARNA and TEVIK step out onto her front porch. The wind is starting to pick up, and the skies are turning dark.

SHARNA
Looks like a storm is coming in. 

She turns to TEVIK.

SHARNA
Thank you again for fixing the generator. And for
handling Razoth.... And spending time with Kellen.

TEVIK nods, and then heads towards the monastery. 

As he exits the village, headed toward the mountain path, it begins to rain.

EXT., A RUN-DOWN STREET ON FERENGINAR

The rain is coming down hard now, and HARPER trudges along under her umbrella.

HARPER
(In voice over)
After making contact with several people, I've been put in touch with
someone who I've been assured is a clerk under Grand Nagus Zek.

She turns the corner into an even older part of town where the buildings all have phase-pulse bars over the windows and doors, and there is a pawn shop with a sign in the window that reads “You Got It? We Buy It. No Questions Asked.”

HARPER approaches a street corner where BILK is waiting under an umbrella of his own. BILK's appearance is seedy, even by Ferengi standards. 

HARPER
Bilk?

BILK pulls a padd out of his jacket, and HARPER reflexively presses her thumbprint to it.

BILK
You've come to the right place.

EXT., THE VILLAGE, THE NEXT DAY

The village has been battered by the storm. As villagers are examining the damage to their homes, TEVIK again enters the village with a group of MONKS. 

TEVIK
(In voice over)
The passing storm has done a considerable amount of damage, and while
the monastery has withstood it with minimal need for repairs, those in the
colony below are not as fortunate. 

The MONKS pass by the wall with the the defaced Federation symbol. Underneath it, someone has written 'VULCANS GO HOME.' 

As the MONKS split up and seek out opportunities to help, TEVIK notices the ELDERLY ANDORIAN WOMAN's house. A very large tree has fallen in front of her doorway, blocking the entrance. 

As TEVIK heads toward it, KELLEN spots him, and comes running.

KELLEN
Hey, you're back!

TEVIK nods, and KELLEN follows TEVIK up to the ELDERLY ANDORIAN WOMAN'S house. 

As KELLEN watches, TEVIK squats, braces the fallen tree on his shoulders, and, straining with effort, lifts the tree and moves it away from the ANDORIAN WOMAN'S front door, before setting it down again.  

KELLEN
Woah... Vulcans really do have super strength.

TEVIK acknowledges this with a slight shrug.

KELLEN looks around and lowers his voice.

KELLEN
... Hey, do you know suus manha?

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN
Can you show me?

TEVIK shakes his head.

KELLEN
'Cause you guys are pacifists, right?

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN
(Disappointed)
I get it.

They are interrupted by the ELDERLY ANDORIAN WOMAN emerging from her house.

ELDERLY ANDORIAN WOMAN
(To TEVIK)
Oh, thank you! I didn't know what I was going to do about that tree.

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN
(To the ELDERLY ANDORIAN WOMAN, with pride)
He picked it up all by himself.

ELDERLY ANDORIAN WOMAN
My goodness! Well, if you two young men have it in you to do a little
repair work around the house, I was just about to bake some cookies.

KELLEN
Yeah, we can do that.

As TEVIK and KELLEN follow the ELDERLY ANDORIAN WOMAN into her house, we hear TEVIK in voice over.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
While this offer straddles the line between hospitality and compensation, I believe
that, all things considered, I may accept without violating the Order's core beliefs.

EXT., THE STREET CORNER ON FERENGINAR

As the rain pours down, BILK ogles HARPER under her umbrella.

HARPER
You're a clerk under Grand Nagus Zek?

BILK
What? You don't believe me? 

HARPER is silent.

BILK
Well, I can prove it. I've got copies of some official -
and highly confidential - documents back at my place.

HARPER
(Skeptically)
Really?

BILK
(With a grotesque attempt at an angelic smile)
Does this look like the face of someone who would lie to you?

At that moment, BILK's communicator chirps. He looks at it.

BILK
(To HARPER)
Hang on, I've gotta take this. It's business.

He opens his communicator.

BILK
Bilk lahje.
[SUBTITLES - Bilk here.]

BILK is silent as he listens to the person on the other end of his communicator.

BILK.
Ness. Gra mol yop pel-noosa
[SUBTITLES - No. They sent me another one.]

BILK pauses and then laughs.

BILK
(While looking at HARPER)
Gol. Sen tan-dul oo-essie na ness-mox, cet dal.
[SUBTITLES - Yup. An especially pretty and stupid one, this time.] 

HARPER merely looks around and smiles pleasantly and obliviously.

BILK
Yop se dok nel-lat mek-rut yop, se gok dess latinum na
gok oo-mix - na se oo-noosa cet-dok. Gren yel nup son. 
[SUBTITLES - I'm going to take her back to my place, get some more latinum out of
her, and get my lobes rubbed - maybe some other things too. You should join us.]

HARPER continues to smile cheerfully.

BILK
Sen-dao.
[SUBTITLES - See you soon.]

BILK closes his communicator.

BILK
(To HARPER)
Follow me.

Continuing to smile sweetly, HARPER follows BILK down a side street and into a narrow alley. They arrive at a shabby-looking tenement house, and BILK opens the door. 
He turns to usher HARPER inside, only to find that she is holding him at the point of a very large knife, and her smile has turned from pleasant to menacing.

HARPER
Sen dol nik-mek noosa de vun-rok: Se nok-rat min, se tak-rat kull.
[SUBTITLES - Rule of Acquisition Number 48: 
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.]

Alarmed, BILK flees into the apartment building, slamming the door and leaving HARPER out in the rain.

EXT., THE COLONY MAIN STREET ON REGULUS, 

TEVIK and KELLEN are leaving the ELDERLY ANDOREAN WOMAN'S house. KELLEN is eating a cookie, and carrying several more.

KELLEN
(His mouth full)
It was really nice of her to make extras to send
home with us....  Are you sure you can't take any?

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN
'Cause of the whole monks penitent thing?

TEVIK nods again.

KELLEN
Well, that sucks.

TEVIK shrugs.

As they walk along, they suddenly find themselves confronted by RAZOTH and the other ANDORIAN FREIGHTER CREWMEN.

RAZOTH
(To KELLEN)
Go home, Kellen. You don't need to be hanging around those people.

KELLEN
Shove off, Razoth.

RAZOTH ignores this, and addresses his friends, while staring TEVIK down.

RAZOTH
Leave it to the Vulcans to ship their criminals and
sickos off-world and make them our problem.

The ANDORIAN FREIGHTER CREWMAN nod and murmur in agreement. TEVIK says nothing.

RAZOTH
(To TEVIK)
So, what got you banished from the Vulcan home world?

TEVIK remains silent.

RAZOTH
(With a glance at KELLEN)
... Did it have anything to do with little boys?

The other ANDORIAN FREIGHTER CREWMEN snicker, and RAZOTH moves in closer to TEVIK, getting in his face. 

RAZOTH
Cat got your tongue?

TEVIK does not react to this.

Without warning, RAZOTH punches TEVIK solidly in the solar plexus, winding him. The other ANDORIANS laugh, and KELLEN steps forward.

KELLEN
Hey, leave him alone!

RAZOTH
Who's going to make me?

KELLEN
(Indicating TEVIK
He will.

The ANDORIANS seem amused by this.

RAZOTH looks over at TEVIK, who has recovered from his blow. TEVIK returns his stare.

RAZOTH
(To TEVIK)
Is that right? 

TEVIK says nothing.

KELLEN
He's super strong, and he's an expert in suus manha, and - 

RAZOTH
(To TEVIK)
You're an expert in suus manha, huh?

RAZOTH attempts a roundhouse punch, but TEVIK sees the blow coming, and is able to avoid it. This annoys RAZOTH, who turns to KELLEN.

RAZOTH
Your friend's not much of a fighter, if you ask me.

RAZOTH spits on TEVIK, who shows no response to this provocation. The FREIGHTER CREWMEN laugh and RAZOTH, seemingly satisfied with this interaction, starts to walk away, along with his friends.

KELLEN
Yeah? Well, he could fight all of you if he wanted to!

The group of ANDORIAN FREIGHTER CREWMEN turn back, and there is an ominous change in their energy. 

RAZOTH
Go home, Kellen.

KELLEN
Shut up, Razoth. You're not my dad!

This angers RAZOTH, who grabs KELLEN's shirt.

RAZOTH
You're right about that. Because if I was, you'd have some manners, you little -  

He raises his hand to strike KELLEN, but his blow is intercepted by TEVIK's grip on arm. RAZOTH looks up at TEVIK in fury, and TEVIK calmly meets his gaze.

RAZOTH wrenches his arm out of TEVIK's grasp, and turns to his compatriots.

RAZOTH
Well, boys... look who just remembered how to fight. 

RAZOTH then hauls back and delivers a blow that sends TEVIK reeling. He offers no resistance, and like sharks circling, the other ANDORIANS close in, delivering a beating that leaves TEVIK lying bloodied in the street, as KELLEN watches helplessly. 

INT., SHARNA'S HOUSE, A SHORT TIME LATER

TEVIK sits at the kitchen table as SHARNA cleans his wounds. KELLEN lingers in the doorway, looking equal parts worried, angry, and guilty.

SHARNA
(To TEVIK as she treats a cut above his eye)
This one may need stitches. We'll see.

KELLEN
... Why didn't you do anything?!

SHARNA
(Sharply)
Kellen!

KELLEN
You could have killed Razoth! You could have killed
all of those guys! And you didn't do anything!

SHARNA
Go to your room right now, young man.

KELLEN storms off to his room, and SHARNA turns apologetically to TEVIK.

SHARNA
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you got dragged into all of this -   

TEVIK shakes his head.

SHARNA
Please forgive Kellen, he's just....

She trails off, and TEVIK nods.

INT., HARPER'S QUARTERS, THAT EVENING

HARPER is moping on her couch when the door chimes. She sighs and sits up.

HARPER
Come in.

The door slides open to reveal NACK, and HARPER comes to the doorway.

NACK
I, uh, I'm here to apologize. Look, I don't pretend to understand human culture, but you're
one of the most capable people I know, and I know that you can take care of yourself.
And you've got a lot on your plate right now, and you don't need me second-guessing
what you should or shouldn't be doing and -  

He notices her downcast demeanor.

NACK
Hey, is everything all right?

HARPER
Not really.

NACK
Do you want to talk about it?

She nods and gestures him inside. She takes a seat on the couch, and he joins her.

HARPER
My first assignment didn't exactly go well. 

NACK
Well, tell me what happened.

INT., THE ABBOT'S OFFICE AT THE MONASTERY

The ABBOT, a very elderly monk, is seated behind a crude wooden desk, and a visibly bruised and battered TEVIK stands before him.

ABBOT
... And you made no move to defend yourself?

TEVIK shakes his head. 

The ABBOT nods approvingly, and appears to give some thought to his next words.

ABBOT
... The brothers have reported an... increasing hostility to our presence in recent months.
We have lived in peace with the colonists for generations. I do not know what has changed,
but I would urge you to remain here, within the monastery walls. There are many acts of service
that do not entail venturing forth into the village.

TEVIK shakes his head.

ABBOT
Because you believe that your friendship is beneficial to this boy?

TEVIK nods.

ABBOT
... In that case, I won't forbid you to return, but I would request that you exercise caution.

TEVIK nods again.

INT., HARPER'S QUARTERS, A LITTLE LATER

HARPER and NACK are deep in conversation on the couch. They are leaning towards each other and their body language is comfortable.

NACK
(With a laugh)
You pulled a knife on him?

HARPER nods.

NACK
That's my girl.

She smiles despite herself.

HARPER
You should have seen his face.

NACK
I wish I could've.

HARPER sighs.

HARPER
The problem is, I burned this contact, and now we'll have to start all over again.
And after Agent Smith stuck his neck out for me and arranged a transfer while
I had an Internal Affairs investigation pending... the last thing I want to do is
let him down.

NACK nods sympathetically.

NACK
Look, I've never been able to get a read on Agent Smith, but I can tell you that he's
not stupid. If he gave you this assignment, it's because he knows you can handle it.

HARPER
Yeah, well, I spent all day getting jerked around just like every other agent they've sent
in there. I may as well have beamed down with the word 'Sucker' written on my forehead.

NACK thinks for a moment before he speaks.

NACK
... You know, the first time you and I met, you had a laundry list of outdated equipment
and decommissioned junk that you wanted, and equally long list of specifications to go
with it, and I thought to myself, "This girl is absolutely nuts."

HARPER laughs.

NACK
So I started talking to you about it, thinking that I could steer you into purchasing stuff
that was a lot cheaper and easier to get my hands on, while still charging you a premium
on the finder's fee.

HARPER
Oh, I remember.

NACK
Well, it didn't take me long to realize that you knew your stuff, and you weren't going
to be convinced otherwise. Which is saying something, because I've talked a lot of
people into buying exactly what I wanted them to, and thinking it was their idea.
But you walked out of that meeting with exactly what you came for.

HARPER
And a ten percent discount.

NACK
It would've been twenty if you'd have had dinner with me.

HARPER
Yes, I remember that too.

NACK
My point being, you've already proven that you can hold your own, so don’t let a
little setback like this get you down. Because if there's one thing I'm certain of,
(with a wink)
it's that you know a thing or two about wrapping a Ferengi around your finger.

HARPER smiles.

NACK
Now, all of that being said, can I offer some advice?

HARPER
(Nodding)
Please.

NACK
(Gently)
To start with, you're going about this all wrong....

INT., CH'THANE'S OFFICE

CH'THANE is sitting behind his desk, and AGENT SMITH is seated in front of him, and they are sharing a bottle of Romulan ale, when the door chimes.

CH'THANE
Come in.

The door slides open and HARPER enters.

AGENT SMITH
(Congenially)
Agent Harper, I hear you pulled a knife on a contact today.

CH'THANE
Everyone remembers their first time.

They both chuckle.

CH'THANE
(To HARPER)
Sit down, pour yourself a - oh, right.

HARPER takes a deep breath.

HARPER
Permission to speak freely, Sirs?

AGENT SMITH
We're not that formal, Agent. But go ahead.

HARPER
We're going about Ferenginar all wrong.

AGENT SMITH sets his drink down, and looks at her attentively.

AGENT SMITH
Go on.

HARPER
Ferengi brain structures are larger and more complex than ours, which means that in many ways,
they're smarter than us. The Ferengi are also an insular society, and they are far more practiced
at deception than we will ever be, which means that they'll never sell us information if they can
trick us into paying for nothing. Which they have already proven they can do. Repeatedly.
You're never going to get one over on a Ferengi, Sir.

AGENT SMITH
In that case, Agent, what are your recommendations?

HARPER
We need to offer the Ferengi something of value - something they can't get 
anywhere else. And we have to come at them from where they least expect it: 
right through the front door. 

TO BE CONTINUED.

Chapter 18: STAR TREK: Star Base 80 S5, E7 In a Strange Land, Part 2: The Flow of Information

Summary:

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, with our rookie agent and Vulcan monk. (Part 2 of 2.)

Notes:

*Rule of Acquisition No. 190 - Hear all, trust nothing.

Chapter Text

STAR TREK: Star Base 80 Season 5, Episode 7 In a Strange Land, Part 2: The Flow of Information 

EXT., THE COLONY ON REGULUS, DAYTIME

The MONKS enter the colony as usual, TEVIK among them, and proceed to split up and seek out acts of service to perform. 

TEVIK
(In voice over)
Initiate Monk's Log: It has been two weeks since the incident with Razoth and the other Andorians.
There have been no further acts of aggression toward any of the Brothers of So'Kahn, and thus I am
hopeful that it was an isolated event. I have not seen Kellen since then, either, and I am concerned
that the attack, and any misplaced guilt he may feel, is only causing him to further withdraw.

As TEVIK makes his way down the colony's main street, he sees that the windows of SHARNA's house have been covered in black curtains. 

SHARNA is standing on her front porch, accepting a covered dish from the ELDERLY ANDOREAN WOMAN.

ELDERLY ANDOREAN WOMAN
I am so sorry for your loss.

SHARNA nods and wipes away tears, and the ELDERLY ANDOREAN WOMAN embraces her. The ELDERLY ANDOREAN WOMAN leaves, passing TEVIK on her way home. 

TEVIK approaches SHARNA and gives her a look of deep sympathy. She swallows and nods.

SHARNA
Thank you.

TEVIK nods. 

SHARNA
Come in, please. 

TEVIK nods and follows SHARNA into the house.

INT., SHARNA'S HOUSE

A picture of a young Andorian Starfleet crewman sits on the table, next to a folded United Federation of Planets flag and a Starfleet comm badge. 

TEVIK picks up the photo and studies it solemnly.

SHARNA
(Teary)
That's Nathar. It was taken the day he enlisted. He was so proud.

TEVIK nods and replaces the photo. SHARNA nods toward a door off the main room.

SHARNA
Kellen is in his room.

TEVIK nods.

INT., KELLEN'S ROOM

KELLEN's room is small and characteristically messy for a boy his age. Black curtains cover the window above his bed, where he lays staring at the ceiling.

There is a knock at the door.

KELLEN
Go away.

TEVIK gently pushes the door open a little, and peers inside. KELLEN sits up.

KELLEN
Oh. Hey. 

TEVIK enters the room and stands near the door.

KELLEN
I'm, um - I'm really sorry about - 

He gestures at TEVIK's fading bruises.

TEVIK opens his palms in a gesture of forgiveness.

KELLEN
... You guys are pacifists, right?

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN 
So you won't fight anyone ever?

TEVIK nods again.

KELLEN
Even the Dominion?

TEVIK nods.

KELLEN
... I wish Nathar was a pacifist. He'd be here and not - 

KELLEN swallows and looks away. He is quiet for a moment before he speaks again.

KELLEN
... The last time I saw Nathar, I was mad because Mom wouldn't let me have his room. 
It's bigger than mine, and he was enlisting, so it's not like he was going to need it.
So I told him to tell Mom that I could have his room. But he wouldn't, 
so I said that he was stupid and I was glad he was leaving.

KELLEN looks away and blinks several times.

KELLEN
I sent Nathar holo-letters later, but... that's
the last thing I ever said to him face-to-face.

KELLEN chokes up.

KELLEN
... And now I'll never see him again.

KELLEN begins to break down in tears. TEVIK puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, and KELLEN throws his arms around him as he sobs.  

EST., EXT., STAR BASE 80

A Section 31 runabout idles in dock.

INT., A SECTION 31 RUNABOUT

CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH sit waiting at the helm. They are wearing the standard black uniforms, but their badges are concealed beneath their jackets. 

HARPER
(In voice over)
Chief Security Agent's Log: Agent Smith has agreed to give my plan a try, so
we're on our way to Ferenginar. "Apprehensive" doesn't even begin to describe 
how I'm feeling right now.

The docking portal opens, and HARPER enters, wearing a full-length mugato fur coat and dripping with gaudy Ferengi jewelry.

AGENT SMITH and CH'THANE turn in their seats.

AGENT SMITH
Well, I wish you'd said something, Agent Harper. Now I feel under-dressed. 

HARPER
Believe me, Sir, it's not only expected - in some ways,
it's actually less conspicuous. You'll see what I mean.

INT., KELLEN'S BEDROOM

As KELLEN collects himself and wipes away his tears, a noise from the main room catches his and TEVIK's attention. 

KELLEN crosses to his bedroom door and opens it a crack to see what is happening.

INT. SHARNA'S LIVING ROOM

RAZOTH has pushed his way inside and is talking to SHARNA, while his fellow ANDROIAN FREIGHTER CREWMEN mill about.

SHARNA
... I said, I want you all to leave.

RAZOTH
Someone saw him enter your house, Sharna. Where is he?

SHARNA
It's none of your business who I have in my house!

RAZOTH
Well, if you don't care that your son is hanging around a bunch of weirdos
and degenerates, then it seems like someone should make it their business.

Glancing over SHARNA's shoulder, RAZOTH notices that the door to KELLEN's room is ever-so-slightly ajar.

RAZOTH
Hey - who's in there?

INT., KELLEN'S ROOM

KELLEN turns to TEVIK with a look of alarm.

EST., EXT., FERENGINAR AT NIGHT

The rain is falling lightly on the domes and spires of Ferenginar, which are lit with the glow of neon signs and billboard holo-ads. 

EXT., A BUSY STREET CORNER IN THE FERENGINAR CAPITOL CITY

HARPER, CH'THANE, and AGENT SMITH beam down. 

The streets are crowded primarily with FERENGI MALES, but there are also a number of stunningly beautiful OFF-WORLDERS of every gender and species. The OFF-WORLDERS sport Ferengi jewelry, and are in states of dress ranging from "fully" to "barely.“

HARPER
(To CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH)
The key to respect on Ferenginar is wealth, so if you've got it, you flaunt it. 
If we're going to be taken seriously at all, then we need to be seen spending
money like our homeworld is going post-scarce tomorrow. 

They begin walking toward their destination, with HARPER leading the way, and CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH following a few paces behind. 

As the three make their way through the crowds, HARPER attracts the stares and leers of many passing FERENGI. One of them, a shifty-looking FERENGI LOWLIFE, steps into her path.

FERENGI LOWLIFE
(To HARPER)
Welcome to Ferenginar, lovely lady. These streets are far too dangerous for a beautiful
human female such as yourself to walk alone. Come, allow me to escort you to someplace safe.

HARPER smiles.

HARPER
(Gesturing at CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH)
Neep-gran, das tens nul se khe-mons tik dal mon d'yop meh gran se mool gan leesa.

The FERENGI LOWLIFE looks alarmed.

FERENGI LOWLIFE
(Obsequiously)
Of course, of course! Safe travels to you and your friends, my lady, and be careful -
these streets are full of unsavory characters... And, uh, please give my humble
regards to your patron.

With that, the FERENGI LOWLIFE disappears into the crowd, and HARPER, CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH continue on their way. 

AGENT SMITH
What did you say to him, Agent?

HARPER
That you two gentlemen are 'associates' of the man who gave me all this jewelry.

AGENT SMITH nods approvingly. 

CH'THANE
That guy has two 'associates' of his own posted up across the street.

As the three of them turn and look across the street, two FERENGI MISCREANTS retreat into the shadows.

INT., SHARNA'S LIVING ROOM

RAZOTH starts toward KELLEN's room, while SHARNA tries to pull him back.

SHARNA
Razoth, stop!

INT., KELLEN'S ROOM

RAZOTH and the other FREIGHTER CREWMEN burst through the door to find KELLEN lying on his bed, playing a game on his padd. He looks up.

KELLEN
What do you want?

RAZOTH stands over KELLEN.

RAZOTH
Where's the pointy-eared freak?

KELLEN shrugs and returns his attention to the padd, which RAZOTH snatches out of his hands.

KELLEN
Hey!

RAZOTH
Why is a grown man spending so much time around a ten-year-old boy, anyway?

KELLEN
You're the one breaking down the door to my room, you tell me.

This infuriates RAZOTH.

RAZOTH
(Drawing a fist)
You watch your mouth, you little -

KELLEN
(Contemptuous)
Are you really going to beat up a little kid?

This gives RAZOTH pause, and in that moment, one of his friends intercepts.

ANDORIAN 1
Hey, he's not here. Let's go.

RAZOTH wavers, and then nods. As the ANDORIAN FREIGHTER CREWMEN turn and leave, he grabs KELLEN by the shirt.

RAZOTH
Tell your friend and those other freaks up on the mountaintop
that their presence will no longer be tolerated. 

INT., A FERENGI CASINO

The high-end casino is packed when HARPER, CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH enter.

HARPER removes her fur coat, revealing an eye-catching evening gown that leaves little to the imagination. She turns to CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH.

HARPER
I hope you like Dabo, Sirs.

AGENT SMITH
I've been known to spin the wheel now and again.

He offers HARPER his arm, which she takes, and the three of them make their way onto the crowded casino floor.

INT., THE DABO TABLE, SOME TIME LATER 

AGENT SMITH, HARPER, and CH'THANE are standing at the crowded Dabo table, surrounded by excited CASINO PATRONS. 

AGENT SMITH picks up a pair of dice and holds them in front of HARPER, who makes a show of blowing on them sensuously. He throws the dice, and the DABO GIRL spins the wheel. The board lights up and a bell sounds. 

CROWD
Dabo!

As AGENT SMITH tips the DABO GIRL with a stack of chips, two FERENGI in expensive suits take all this in from upstairs.

EXT., SHARNA'S HOUSE

RAZOTH and the ANDORIAN FREIGHTER CREWMEN file out of SHARNA's house and huddle in a circle out front.

RAZOTH
No more letting the Vulcans dump their problems
on us. It's we did something about it. 

ANDORIAN 1
You keep saying that, Razoth, but when?

RAZOTH
Soon. I've been talking to the main chapter on
Andoria Prime, and they're willing to help us. 

The ANDORIANS huddle in close as they discuss their plans. Above their heads, TEVIK, laying flat on top of SHARNA's roof, listens in.

INT., AN UPSCALE FERENGI RESTAURANT

AGENT SMITH, HARPER, and CH'THANE sit at a booth. The FERENGI WAITER approaches, holding menus.

FERENGI WAITER
Allow me to tell you about our spec-

HARPER
What's the most expensive item on the menu?

FERENGI WAITER
The baby eels braised in a fungal dressing, with a side
of poached knell-beetle larvae, and fresh tu'lok. 

HARPER
We'll have that. 

FERENGI WAITER
Of course. And may I just say what a pleasure it is to serve a party of such affluence
and discerning taste? Quen's the name. At your service if you need anything -
anything at all! And if it's not on the menu - 

The FERENGI WAITER leans in.

FERENGI WAITER
... I know a guy who can have it here in twenty minutes.

With that, the FERENGI WAITER departs.

HARPER
(To CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH)
Oh golly, you guys are in for a treat! 
I always forget how good the food is here.

CH'THANE
What's tu'lok?

HARPER
Oh. Uh... you probably don't want to know, Sir.

CH'THANE sits back, unsettled, while AGENT SMITH looks perfectly sanguine.

A FERENGI in an expensive suit takes all this in from a nearby table.

INT., A FERENGI LOUNGE, LATER THAT EVENING

A scantily clad BAJORAN LOUNGE SINGER is performing on stage, accompanied by a three-armed EDOSIAN PIANO PLAYER.

As HARPER, CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH take in the performance from their table, a WAITER approaches and refills their wine glasses.

WAITER
Another bottle of the Chateau Picard?

CH'THANE
How about Roluman ale?

The WAITER nods and starts to depart, but AGENT SMITH stops him.

AGENT SMITH
Your most expensive bottle.

WAITER
Of course.

As soon as he is gone, CH'THANE downs his glass of wine and discretely switches it with the untouched glass in front of HARPER.

CH'THANE
I've got to say, Smith, this beats the hell out of crawling through the sewers on Moab IV.

AGENT SMITH
(To HARPER)
Anything we should know about tomorrow's meeting?

HARPER
(Lowering her voice)
Not that I think it'll come up, but Nack's only request was not to mention the baby. 

AGENT SMITH
Any idea why?

HARPER shrugs. 

HARPER
I think he just doesn't want his family to find out before he has a chance to talk
to them about it. Pardon my language, Sir, but those people can be real jerks.

AGENT SMITH
(Attempting to hide his amusement)
Well, in-laws can certainly push a reasonable person to their limits.

As the WAITER returns with a bottle of Romulan ale, another FERENGI in an expensive suit watches from a table near the bar. 

INT., THE ABBOT'S OFFICE AT THE VULCAN MONASTERY

The ABBOT sits at his desk, and TEVIK stands before him, wearing a look of grave concern.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
Initiate monk's log: I relayed to the abbot what I overheard of the
plans to attack the monastery. His reaction was... unexpected.

ABBOT
If this is true, then we shall take no course of action. 

This response leaves TEVIK visibly stunned.

ABBOT
The Order of So'Kahn was founded on the principles of reaching Kolinahr through logic,
discipline, and atonement. Violence of any kind runs counter to everything we believe in.

TEVIK
But, Father, this temple, and the lives of everyone here, may be at risk. 

ABBOT
They may well be.

TEVIK
But surely defending one's self is - 

ABBOT
Strictly forbidden. Violence in the name of self-preservation is still violence.

TEVIK
Then you must allow me to contact someone who can defend the monastery - 

ABBOT
Logically, there is no difference between committing an act of violence, 
and having someone do it on your behalf. The effect is the same.

TEVIK begins to argue, and the ABBOTT stands.

ABBOT
The Order of So'Kahn is founded upon peace and atonement. 
We will not use violence, even to preserve the Order itself. 

TEVIK
Then we must evacuate - 

ABBOT
No. This monastery has stood for almost three thousand
years. We will not desert it now. You are dismissed. 

TEVIK stands and leaves the ABBOT's office. His face is troubled.

INT., THE OFFICES OF THE FERENGI COMMERCE AUTHORITY, THE FOLLOWING DAY.

HARPER, who is now wearing her black Section 31 uniform, approaches the FERENGI RECEPTIONIST. She is accompanied by SMITH and CH'THANE. 

RECEPTIONIST
(Annoyed)
What do you want?

HARPER hands over a strip of latinum.

HARPER
Can you please let the Head Liquidator know that
we're here? And we'll take three chairs while we wait.

The RECEPTIONIST looks at the strip of latinum in his hand, and then at HARPER.

RECEPTIONIST
I don't make change.

HARPER
Of course not. We appreciate good service.

The RECEPTIONIST's demeanor shifts to one of unctuous hospitality.

RECEPTIONIST
And who doesn't? I'll let him know you're here right away. Would
you care for some sparkling water, or tube grubs while you wait?

HARPER
No, thank you.

RECEPTIONIST
Well, if you need anything at all, you just let me know.

With that, the RECEPTIONIST exits, and HARPER joins CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH.

HARPER
(Sotto voice)
The person who arranged this meeting for us? Nack grew up with him -
they're practically family. Anyway, apparently this guy's been having
some trouble with a bartender on - 

At that moment, BRUNT appears.

BRUNT
(To HARPER)
You must be Emma.

HARPER stands, as do AGENT SMITH and CH'THANE. She extends her hand to BRUNT, who ignores it as he looks her over.

BRUNT
Nack always had... exceptional taste.

HARPER
Brunt, this is Agent Smith, and Agent ch'Thane.
Sirs, this is Head Liquidator Brunt.

AGENT SMITH
We appreciate the opportunity - 

BRUNT
It's about time you people realized who the real
power brokers are. It certainly took you long enough.

AGENT SMITH
(Genially)
Well, we appreciate your patience as we muddle through.

BRUNT
We'll see.

He turns to HARPER, and his demeanor shifts into one of lecherous "charm."

BRUNT
(Offering her his arm)
Allow me.

HARPER takes BRUNT'S arm, and he escorts the three of them into a back office at the FCA.

INT., FCA BACK OFFICE

The back office is ostentatiously furnished, with a conference table in the center. 

Four Ferengi Liquidators, KLEP, RANK, GROT, and SWILL, are seated around the conference table. They are the same Ferengi who were watching at the casino, the restaurant, and the lounge, and their expressions range from skeptical to downright sour.

BRUNT takes a seat at the head of the table, and HARPER sits across from the four Ferengi Liquidators, with AGENT SMITH and CH'THANE taking a seat on either side of her.

BRUNT
(To HARPER)
This is Klep, Rank, Grot and Swill. Gentlemen, this is - 

GROT
A waste of time.

HARPER
Please allow me to begin by saying just how much we do appreciate your time today - 

KLEP
As you should. It's very valuable.

RANK
What are we doing here? Why are we taking a meeting with off-worlders?

BRUNT
Because this is Rook's younger brother's human female.

RANK
Younger brother?! Why am I wasting my time on a younger brother's - 

KLEP
Because all Rook's children are girls, you idiot! Who do you
think is going to inherit that casino empire when Rook kicks off? 

SWILL
Exactly. It doesn't cost us anything to be nice to this broad - 

He looks sharply at HARPER.

SWILL 
It doesn't, does it?

HARPER 
I think you'll find this meeting to be mutually beneficial - 

KLEP
(To BRUNT)
I thought they called the wedding off.

BRUNT
I told you he'd come to his senses.

RANK
(Staring at HARPER licentiously)
You think she gives good oo-mox?

The FERNGI all chuckle and leer.

HARPER
Gentlemen, I believe we're getting off-track. 

HARPER leans in.

HARPER
What would you say if I told you that Ferenginar loses the equivalent
of a billion bars of latinum to Orion pirates every year?

The FERENGI look dubious.

HARPER
That's billion, with a B.

RANK
That's ridiculous.

HARPER
Is it? Because our sources indicate that last year, your shipping
conglomerate paid protection fees to the Syndicate in the amount of - 

RANK
(Defensively)
That's what we do. We're Ferengi. We negotiate.

RANK looks at the others, and they nod in agreement.

HARPER
"Negotiation" implies that you're getting something in return. 
What are you all getting in exchange for the protection money that
you're paying to the Syndicate for your freighters, warehouses, and factories?

KLEP
Protection, of course.

HARPER
Protection from whom?

There is a moment of silence.

RANK
Ah, what does she know about this stuff? Rule of
Acquisition Number 94: Females and finances don't mix.

The others nod and murmur in agreement.

HARPER
You're right. We're not businessmen, and we don't pretend to
have the lobes for business that you gentlemen obviously do.

The FERENGI appear unmoved by this blatant flattery. 

HARPER
We deal in something even more valuable - information.

GROT
(Dismissively)
"More valuable."

SWILL
So let me get this straight - for years, you people have been running in circles
trying to bribe someone into being your mole in the FCA, and now, all of a sudden,
you think you can just walk in here and offer to sell us information?

KLEP
You must be dumber than you look, assuming that's somehow possible.

HARPER
Actually, gentlemen, what we're proposing is an information exchange. 

SWILL waves this away dismissively, and most of the others appear to share his sentiment, but GROT appears mildly curious.

GROT
What kind of information exchange?

AGENT SMITH
Section 31 is the intelligence arm of the Federation. We gather and analyze information
on every planet and political faction in the quadrant in order to protect the interests of the
Federation and its allies. To our knowledge, Ferenginar has no such equivalent agency. 

BRUNT
We don't need one. 

RANK
Ferenginar is on good terms all of the major powers in the alpha and beta quadrants. 

HARPER
Ferenginar also doesn't have a standing army.

SWILL
Because we don't need one. Ferengi don't fight, we negotiate.

CH'THANE
Ferenginar might not need armed forces now. But if
Nausicaa is any indication of Orion's military ambitions - 

RANK
That's not our problem. We're on good terms with the Syndicate.

BRUNT
And besides, Ferengi are naturally immune to Orion pheromones.

HARPER
Well then, I hope you're also naturally immune to Orion warships loaded for bear
with laser cannons, photon torpedoes, and freshly-conscripted Nausicaan muscle.
Because if I was a lawless criminal enterprise looking to become an empire, the wealthiest
planet in the quadrant with no standing military would look awfully tempting to me.

The FERENGI exchange inscrutable glances.

AGENT SMITH
... You should know that there have been whispers that Grand Nagus Zek 
is considering some... interesting policy changes here on Ferenginar.

CH'THANE
Something about allowing females to wear clothes. Maybe even earn profits.

RANK
Rumors!

GROT
Propaganda from a handful of kooks and radicals.

BRUNT
Besides, we have a system of checks and balances, in the
event that something preposterous like that were to occur.

AGENT SMITH
Of course. But checks and balances take time, and must be... strategically wielded.
It might be useful for the FCA to have its own intelligence arm to guide the use of
these checks and balances. 

CH'THANE
Or provide you with leverage, so you don't need to use them at all. 

SMITH
Besides, Zek is getting on in years. Eventually, there will be a new Grand Nagus,
and there's no telling who that'll be. The FCA, however, will still be the FCA.
And it might be beneficial for your organization to cultivate relationships with
outside powers during these uncertain times. 

BRUNT
I'll get a full frontal lobe-ectomy before the FCA ever takes advice from the Federation.

The FERENGI all snicker and sneer.

GROT
The sheer arrogance of these humans - 

HARPER, who has sat quietly during all of this, is struck by inspiration. She stands.

HARPER
Gentlemen, think of the flow of information as part of the Great Material Continuum. 

This catches the FERENGIs’ attention.

HARPER
(Moving about and gesturing as she speaks)
The flow of information from one person to the next connects us all, in the same way that
the commercial exchange of goods and services connects all living beings to one another.
And those who can skillfully navigate the flow of information, who are adept at understanding
and filtering and interpreting that information, come away with knowledge that they can use
to their advantage. And as the 74th Rule of Acquisition teaches us, knowledge is profit.

The FERENGI shift in their chairs as they consider this.

BRUNT
... And Section 31 is able to navigate this "flow of information?"
 

HARPER
(Coming back to her place, and remaining standing)
Section 31 has eyes on every planet in this quadrant. We knew about
the Bolean prime minister's mistress before the holo-images surfaced.
We knew about the Yridian treasury scandal before it was made public.
And we knew about Orion's plans to invade Nausicaa before it even happened.

HARPER leans on the table looks at all of them in turn.

HARPER
Think about what Ferenginar could do with that kind of information. 

GROT
... How do we know that the information you give us would be any good?

HARPER
We anticipated that question, gentlemen. And as a gesture of goodwill - 

HARPER produces a padd.

HARPER
... we've compiled some of our files on the Syndicate,
so that you can see what Section 31 has to offer.

RANK reaches for the padd.

RANK
Let's just see this - 

HARPER pulls it back.

HARPER
We said "gesture of goodwill," gentlemen. We didn't say "free."

KLEP
I thought you humans don't believe in profits.

CH'THANE
That may be the official stance of the Federation, but we're Section 31.

AGENT SMITH
Let's just say that we're a little more attuned to the realities of life than Starfleet is.

SWILL
(Suspiciously)
How much are you asking?

HARPER
Once you factor in the time, effort, danger, and expense involved in gathering this information - 

CH'THANE
Not to mention verifying, analyzing and compiling - 

AGENT SMITH produces a padd of his own, which he hands to BRUNT.

AGENT SMITH
I think you'll find that our price is very reasonable. 

The FERENGI all gather around to examine the number on AGENT SMITH's padd.

BRUNT
This is highway robbery!

KLEP
Outrageous!

GROT 
We won't pay!

HARPER
Since this is a gesture of goodwill, Section 31 is prepared to offer you a courtesy discount.

SWILL
How much?

HARPER
Ten percent.

BRUNT
Make it twenty-five.

HARPER
Fifteen.

BRUNT
Twenty-two.

HARPER
Seventeen percent. Final offer.

The FERENGI all huddle to discuss this in hushed tones, and HARPER holds her breath.

Finally, they return to the table, and BRUNT presses his thumb to AGENT SMITH's padd, and hands it back.

BRUNT
This had better be worth every penny, and then some.

HARPER hands her padd over to BRUNT.

HARPER
All we're asking is that you read these files, 
and consider what we've said here today.

The FERENGI all make suspicious and non-committal noises. 

Just then, the RECEPTIONIST sticks his head in the door.

RECEPTIONIST
Liquidator Klep, your four o'clock is here.

EXT., THE STEPS OF THE FCA BUILDING

It is raining lightly when HAPRER, AGENT SMITH and CH'THANE emerge from the building, looking exhausted. 

AGENT SMITH
Charming group of folks. I cant imagine why
Ferenginar's tourism industry hasn't taken off.

CH'THANE
(To HARPER)
Section 31 didn't have intel on the Orion invasion of Nausicaa.

HARPER
Rule of Acquisition Number 237, Sir - Never let
the truth get in the way of a good sales pitch.

INT., THE VULCAN MONASTERY GROUNDS

The MONKS are laboring in the gardens under the hot sun, where TEVIK is breaking ground with a shovel. He looks up from his work and watches the MONKs harvesting vegetables for the evening meal, exchanging pleasant nods to one another as they go about their work.

As TEVIK stands there, the ELDERLY MONK comes by with his ladle and bucket, offering water to the laboring MONKS. As TEVIK watches, he makes his way down the line before finally coming to TEVIK. He dips the ladle into the bucket of water and offers TEVIK a drink, which he accepts. TEVIK nods his thanks to the ELDERLY MONK, who returns his nod and continues to the next MONK. 

As TEVIK continues watching, another ELDERLY MONK carrying a bushel of root vegetables stumbles, struggling with the weight of it. Another MONK near by steadies the ELDERLY MONK and helps him regain his balance. The ELDERLY MONK nods in gratitude, and the other MONK picks up his bushel and carries it for him to the monastery kitchen. 

As TEVIK stares after the two of them, his brow furrows slightly, and he sticks his shovel in the ground and enters the monastery.

INT., THE ABBOT'S OFFICE, A SHORT TIME LATER

The ABBOT sits behind his desk, and TEVIK sits in front of him.

ABBOT
Obviously, you have come here to speak. So speak.

TEVIK starts to say something, and the ABBOT cuts him off. 

ABBOT
Although I must say, you are the most talkative initiate we have had in centuries.

TEVIK
Father, if the Order will take no actions to defend itself, and you will not evacuate,
then I must insist that you at least warn the brothers of what is to come.

The ABBOT raises an eyebrow.

ABBOT
You must insist?

TEVIK
Yes. The brothers should have the choice to remain here
or evacuate. Pacifism should not be a death sentence.

ABBOT
No one chooses the hour and manner of their death, nor is
it a certainty. The Order of So'Kahn has faced threats before.

TEVIK
(Firmly)
There are innocent lives at stake.

ABBOT
Brother Tevik, this is an order of penitents. No one here is innocent.

TEVIK
It is not your place to condemn them. 

ABBOT
The Order of So'Kahn is thousands of years old. It has been faced with threats of extinction
many times, and each of those times, the Order took no action, and the Order has survived.
We will not compromise our principles now.

TEVIK
Your adherence to tradition is illogical - 

ABBOT
Logically, if we take no action, and these people attack, the Order may cease to exist.
But if we abandon the monastery, if we violate our principles, then we are no longer
the Order of So'Kahn. And the Order will have ceased to exist.

The ABBOT looks at TEVIK earnestly.

ABBOT
I will not compromise our principles. Even in the face of certain death. 

TEVIK
Your adherence to tradition is illogical, and you are endangering the lives of everyone here -  

ABBOT
The matter is closed and we will speak no more of it. You will
forego sleep tonight and meditate upon So'Kahn's teachings.

TEVIK is silent, he and the ABBOT stare at each other. Finally, he nods and exits the ABBOT's office.

INT., A HOTEL ROOM ON FERENGINAR, NIGHT

HARPER, wearing a bathrobe, is getting ready for bed when the door chimes. She answers it to find AGENT SMITH standing there.

HARPER 
Agent Smith?

AGENT SMITH
I'm afraid there's no rest for the wicked, Agent Harper. 
Head Liquidator Brunt has requested a meeting.

INT., THE FCA BACK OFFICE

BRUNT, KLEP, RANK, GROT and SWILL are sitting at the conference table when the door opens, and AGENT SMITH, HARPER and CH'THANE enter and take seats across from them.

BRUNT
We've reviewed Section 31's files on the Syndicate.

There is a long pause.

BRUNT
Welcome to the first official meeting between Section 31 and
the Committee for the Oversight of Imputed Nominal Securities.

HARPER, CH'THANE, and AGENT SMITH exchange glances.

HARPER
... What is the "Committee for the Oversight of Imputed Nominal Securities"?

SWILL
Nothing! It’s a bunch of made-up nonsense. 

GROT
But it sounds complicated, regulatory, unprofitable, and
boring as hell. No one’s gonna want to bother with that. 

CH'THANE
Sounds like the perfect cover for an intelligence committee.

AGENT SMITH
(With a glance at HARPER)
Hide in plain sight, eh?

GROT
We've decided that in these uncertain times, strategically navigating the flow of
information in conjunction with Section 31 would be beneficial to our interests. 

BRUNT
And Ferenginar's, of course.

AGENT SMITH
Glad to hear it. We’ll be happy to lend our assistance
in establishing an intelligence infrastru- 

KLEP
If we need your help, Human, we'll ask for it.

AGENT SMITH
(Genially
Of course. 

KLEP
(To HARPER)
We'll be in touch, Agent Harper.

Everyone stands, shakes hands, and files out. At the door, BRUNT stops HARPER.

BRUNT
Emma, it was a pleasure meeting you. Please give Nack my warmest regards.

HARPER
Of course. He speaks very highly of you as well.

BRUNT
I think of him as a brother.

HARPER
I know he feels the same way about -  

BRUNT leans in.

BRUNT
But listen, if anything changes between the two of you, call me. I've got
a place on the Rigellian moon where we can watch the suns rise. Naked.

HARPER
(Pleasantly)
Oh, um - probably not, but thank you anyway.

She exits, followed by CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH, leaving BRUNT staring after her.

BRUNT
(To himself)
She's into me. I can tell....

EXT., THE STREET OUTSIDE THE FCA

HARPER, CH'THANE and AGENT SMITH stand on the steps of the FCA Building. The perpetual rains have subsided to a mere drizzle.

CH'THANE
If I'm not mistaken, wouldn't the acronym for the Committee
for the Oversight of Imputed Nominal Securities, be "COINS"?

HARPER
You've really got to admire the depth of their commitment
to an all-encompassing hyper-capitalist ethos. 

AGENT SMITH
(To HARPER)
Well done, Agent. You've just accomplished what we've been
trying to do for years. You've got us an in-road with the FCA.

HARPER
Well, the 190th Rule of Acquisition* definitely applies here, Sir. 
We'll have to independently verify everything they give us,
because there's no way they won't try to use this to their advantage.

AGENT SMITH
That's true of every source. 

CH'THANE
If nothing else, we'll know what they want us to believe, 
and that's often more valuable than the truth itself.

AGENT SMITH
Let's go celebrate your success, Agent Harper. We haven't completely blown 
the budget for this excursion, and I could go for some tu'lok right now.

HARPER
You guys go ahead. It's been a long day. I'm going to go lie down.

AGENT SMITH
Are you sure I can't tempt you?

HARPER smiles and shakes her head.

CH'THANE
(Patting her on the shoulder)
Get some rest.

As AGENT SMITH and CH'THANE head to Ferenginar's entertainment district, HARPER turns and heads back to the hotel.

INT., HARPER'S HOTEL ROOM, A SHORT TIME LATER

HARPER is curled up in bed, talking to NACK on the view screen.

NACK
So, how did it go?

HARPER
Well, I can't say much, but, um... it went really well.

NACK
I'm glad.

HARPER
I couldn't have done it without you.

NACK
Nah. All I did was make a call and offer a little advice.

HARPER 
How are you?

NACK
Doing well. I've got a deal lined up that I'm pretty optimistic about, actually.

HARPER
Yeah? Tell me about it.

NACK
(Surprised)
I thought you hated talking about this stuff.

HARPER
(With a shrug)
I don't know, I guess I'm curious.... But if you’re busy - 

NACK
No, I can talk.

HARPER smiles, and settles in for a long conversation.

NACK
So, I was stuck in customs on Karnov IV, and there’s this Gelrakian there
who somehow ended up with a shipment of raw timber, and he's got no idea
 how he's going to get rid of it...

INT., TEVIK'S QUARTERS, THE MONASTERY

TEVIK sits cross-legged, meditating on the floor.

TEVIK
(In voice over)
As instructed, I have foregone sleep and meditated on the teachings of So'Kahn. 
In seeking answers, I have only encountered more questions. But in the end,
I cannot escape the dictates of my conscience.

TEVIK opens his eyes, reaches under the mattress on the floor, pulls out his comm badge, and taps it.

TEVIK
Commander?

ROLL CREDITS

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