Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everyone knows the infamous Deanna Winchester – after all, she is Lawrence’s sweetheart. Town slut, too, if you ask Cassie Novak.

Cas’ family can’t help but talk about her around the family dinner table. After they bless the meal and discuss what her father’s sermon will cover that coming weekend, they’ll catch up on the community. Generally this consists of deciding who needs to be focused on in their nightly prayers, but sometimes they decide certain people are too far gone to be saved. 

“I don’t know what has gotten into that girl,” Jimmy will say, “but it certainly isn’t something that will help keep her out of Hell.” His voice is laced with genuine concern, Cas knows her father doesn’t want anyone in the congregation to face eternal damnation. 

He’ll hold up his fork and point it across the table with conviction, “I think it has to do with those parents of hers.” He shakes his head, “divorce is never good for children, and it’s not right in God’s eyes.” Cas’ mom died when she and her brothers were young. She thinks this makes her dad even more defensive over the situation – how could John and Mary not cherish every moment they have together? Do they not know they could lose one another at any moment?

“And now she flaunts around town just looking for trouble,” he stabs a piece of chicken with his fork and pops it into his mouth before continuing, “drinking, drugs, sex.” He pauses, considering, “she’s gonna end up just like her mother.” 

And his father is right, Deanna is the personification of sin itself. 

Every time Cas sees her, she’s in some revealing outfit and flirting with any guy that gives her attention. Which isn’t hard for her to do, seeing as all any boy in this town wants to do is give Deanna attention. She walks around downtown in the shortest shorts she owns waiting for compliments from strangers.

“I know. They were my mom’s,” Deanna laughs and informs people when they say her ass looks good in them. Cas despises her for it. 

Sure, she comes to church every Sunday, but never without the remnants of last night’s eyeliner leftover in her waterline. She’s always got some crunchy looking product in her hair, and she twirls it incessantly during service to flash her long, red fingernails. Not to mention, she’s probably hooked up with 50% of the men in this town. She’ll wink at people in church as if she’s letting the whole world know she doesn’t give a shit about what God would have to say about all of this. 

Her parents are notorious, too. Cas has never figured that infamy could be genetic, but if anyone could make her believe it, it’d be Deanna. After the fire, Mary Winchester became well known as the town drunk. John decided to leave her the day they went to one of Sam’s middle school band performances and she swayed on her feet for an hour until passing out in the bleachers. After that night, they stopped sitting together at church, and soon enough there was a U-Haul outside the family home to pack up all of John’s shit.

From that point forward, everyone knew that their best chance to see Deanna was when she was staying with Mary. Her mom is always out cold by 8pm, and so that’s when she sneaks out to the bars and flirts her way to drunkenness. If she stays with John for the weekend, chances are she’ll only be seen at church. 

The whole town loves to talk about Mary’s deterioration. Their whispered conversations are laced with pity for Deanna and her little brother. They’ll say how Deanna looks just like her mom, before the alcohol. Usually these conversations are behind her back – but sometimes, on a dimly lit barstool in the early hours of the morning, some drunk asshole tells Deanna to her face how her mother has become useless. As if she doesn’t already know. Somehow, though, Deanna always handles these situations with grace. 

She’ll bat her eyes and sway forward, placing a hand on the man-of-the-night’s upper thigh. She tells them with pride how Mary’s certainly no good at raising children, but she’s good at raising hell. They’ll laugh together and she’s usually told they knew she must’ve gotten it from somewhere. 

Cas is certain she could never be friends with someone like Deanna. In fact, she can't wait until Deanna turns tail and leaves town forever. At least, that’s what she thinks until Deanna pulls up next to the old Gas-N’-Sip on the same night Cas is sent to get movie snacks for her brothers. 

She had walked to the gas station from her house with a list of candy types and $15 in her pocket, mumbling to herself about how she’s always the one sent to do this shit. 

The second she turns the corner into the parking lot, there’s the familiar rumble of  an old Chevy Impala down the street. Cas rolls her eyes as she notices that there’s a crowd of people waiting to put a drink in Deanna’s hand and a cigarette between her teeth. All the windows are down and the radio’s blasting some Led Zeppelin song as she pulls up and cuts the engine off. There’s a big smile on her face when she gets out of the car. She gives a wave and a wink to the guys that have stopped chatting to gawk at her, and turns on her heel to walk toward the gas station.

Connected to the gas station, there’s a liquor store where people like to hang around outside to get drunk before going downtown for the night. It’s not even like Deanna can get in to buy herself something if she wanted to, she’s only 20. That must be why she’s trying to pull one over on the gas station employee instead.

The bell above the door tinkles as Cas moves down the candy aisle trying to find all the things on her list, she can hear Deanna talking up the man behind the counter. She already knows Deanna probably has an elbow on the counter and is blinking innocently up at him, persuading him to give her what she wants. And that’s just the thing – Deanna always gets what she wants.

When Cas reaches the counter, Deanna has a pack of Marlboro Reds in her hand and is placing a $20 bill in the cashier’s hand, “pleasure doing business with you, Ronnie.” She finishes with (probably) a wink before turning around toward Cas. 

Cas is looking down at her wallet, trying to avoid eye contact. 

“Heya Cassie,” she croons. Her voice is soft and sweet – it’s like honey dripping into Cas’ ears. She wonders if she talks like this all the time, or if it’s just in dark gas stations at night when she’s trying to get something from someone.

“Deanna,” Cas retorts, still looking down to count cash. She hears her chuckle softly, and she starts to peel the wrapper off the cigarettes. 

“What’re you up to tonight,” she chides. “I figured you’d be asleep by now, y’know – with church in the morning and all.” Cas can’t tell if she’s being teased or not. 

“Well usually I’m not doing this sort of thing,” She pauses to say a quick thank you to the cashier, “but my brothers sent me out to run an errand.” She finishes, finally turning to Deanna and waving the bag out in front of her. 

Deanna hums, “I see.” Her eyes are unlike anything Cas has ever seen before. She’s never stood this close to her before, and now she has an up close and personal view of those so-called ‘fuck me eyes.’ They have a deep forest green hue and are freckled with specks of gold that shimmer under the low light. She can see why Deanna is able to use them to her advantage, they really are unreal. Suddenly, the witty retort Cas had planned dries up in her throat.

“Did you walk here or what?” Deanna turns to peer out the glass entrance of the gas station toward her own car. It’s the only one in the parking lot since most people just get around on foot. They’re still standing where the line for the counter should be, but nobody else has come in since them, and the cashier has gone back to minding his own business. Cas doesn’t understand what she’s getting at – obviously she walked here. 

She clears her throat and grunts a quick “yeah” because what else is she supposed to say?

“Well, then. Let me give you a ride back.” There’s a smile growing on Deanna’s face, “it’s getting dark out there. We wouldn’t want something happening to our precious preacher’s daughter.” Cas has no idea what this is about. She feels like she’s being patronized.

“That’s really not necessary,” Cas squints at her, trying to get a handle on this situation. 

“Oh c’mon. It’s the least I can do. Y’know, gotta make right with the big man upstairs somehow.” She grins, wide and toothy, flashing her eyes toward the ceiling as if indicating to God. 

“Somehow I don’t think he’d appreciate this as much as you figure he might.” Cas quips before turning to head out the door. She doesn’t even hear the door fully close behind her before there’s footsteps trailing on the pavement accompanied by heavy breathing. Cas rolls her eyes.

“Wait up,” Deanna huffs as she makes her way to Cas’ side, “isn’t it like your whole thing to help people in need?”

Cas stops in her tracks, turning to face Deanna, disbelieving, “yeah, like homeless people. Not girls who willingly choose to defy the word of God.”

Deanna laughs, which does nothing but make Cas more annoyed. They’re standing and looking at each other once again, and there’s still a grin on Deanna’s face, “alright, alright. You’re right. Just let me do something nice, then.”

Cas scoffs, but she realizes now that Deanna isn’t gonna leave her alone until she gets her way, so she gives in. “Fine. But we’re going straight to my house.” 

“Awesome.” She claps her hands together before they start walking again, this time in the direction of the Impala across the parking lot. There’s incessant chatter coming from the group loitering outside the liquor store, still, and they get even louder when they notice Deanna.

“Deanna, you comin’ out with us tonight?” 

Deanna doesn’t even turn around, she just quirks the side of her mouth before yelling over her shoulder, “in your dreams, Benny.” They continue to the edge of the lot where her car is parked. Cas recognizes the name from church. Not that that’s abnormal, most people in this town are in the same place on Sunday mornings at 10am. 

A different man whistles then chides, “oh baby, what else ya do with all that mouth?” Deanna turns her head then and flips them off easily with the same smirk on her face. They’re getting close to her car now, which Cas is grateful for. She’s not interested in being part of the spectacle Deanna creates when she’s out in public. Turning back to Cas before they split ways, Deanna informs her “door's open.”

Cas lets herself into the passenger’s side, setting the plastic bag down on the floorboard and buckling her seatbelt. There’s no center console, just a bench that stretches all the way over to the driver’s side. She’s never seen something like it before, and she’s not super excited about the thought of not having a barrier between the two of them. 

Deanna slides into the driver’s side, starting the engine with a deep rumble. Rolling down the window, she presses the gas and rolls out of the parking lot. They don't talk for a couple of minutes. It's nice. Cas doesn't really want to make conversation with her anyways.

But eventually Deanna breaks the silence, “so what is it that you do on Saturday nights, then,” she pauses, glancing over at Cas, “usually?” 

“Well usually ,” Cas emphasizes, “I’m picking out what dress I’m gonna wear to church in the morning.” She’s more confused than anything by this whole situation. First she wants to give her a ride home on a night she could be out partying, now she wants to chat her up in the process?

“You don’t really believe in that shit, do you?” Deanna chuckles, finally christening the pack of cigarettes and pulling a lighter out of her pocket. Cas watches as she takes one between her teeth and flicks her thumb until a flame catches.

Cas gawks, “of course I do.” She’s shocked at the other’s nonchalance. 

“I just figured being the PK and all, you’d probably have some doubts about the whole thing.” She shrugs, taking another drag of the cigarette before exhaling and looking over at Cas. She doesn’t even know how to respond – it’s a ridiculous assumption. If anything, being more involved 

“Why would you think that?” Is all she can come up with. She looks Deanna in the eyes before she returns them to the road in front of her and turns a corner. 

“When I hear that shit Jimmy drones on about in church, sometimes it makes me want to blow my brains out. It’s just the same bullshit repeated in a different way for 2 hours. I just mean – there’s only so much I’m willing to believe,” she pauses as a toothy grin spreads across her face, “And I only go once a week. I feel like if I had to put up with it every day of my life like you do, there’d be way more room for doubt.”

Cas is taken aback by this answer. 

“I’m nothing like you, Deanna.” 

In an instant, Deanna has the car pulled over on the dark shoulder of the back road they’d been driving on. She throws the car in park and unbuckles her seatbelt. 

“What–” Cas starts, wide eyed, but is cut off.   

“You really think so,” 

“Absolutely,” Cas tries to muster a matter-of-fact tone, but she’s completely flustered and it comes out breathless and unsure.

“Because I think we’re really not as different as you’ve convinced yourself we are,” she tosses her cigarette out onto the asphalt and moves closer to the middle of the seat. Cas’ heart beats wildly in her chest. She can’t tell what she’s feeling, it’s all completely new. It’s not quite like the fear she feels when her dad warns her about sins that will send her to hell, and it’s not quite like the excitement she feels when the congregation stands up to worship together toward the end of service. She turns toward Deanna, ready to maintain that this isn’t true, but before Cas can come up with a retort, Deanna’s hands are warm on either side of her face and there’s a pair of lips on her own. 

Cas thinks she kisses back, but she’s not sure. Deanna pulls back after a couple seconds, and Cas searches her eyes, desperate to gain some sort of control or understanding of the situation. Deanna’s breath is warm as it ghosts over her lips, and she leaves a lingering taste of cigarettes on her tongue. Cas puts a hand on her chest in a desperate attempt to keep some distance between them. She doesn’t even know what to think. She barely even had time to before Deanna’s lips were on hers.

Something deep down tells her this is wrong – the bible verses she’s studied all her life are begging to come to the forefront of this situation. But she can’t seem to actually remember any that could convince her to tell Deanna to stop. 

“What the hell are you doing,” she gasps, breathless. The low sound of some song she’s never heard before drones on in the background. She watches as Deanna’s eyes rove over her face and land on her lips. They just linger there until she breaks the silence.

“I want you to feel good, Cas.” And, god, does that make her heart skip a beat. Hearing her name roll off the tip of Deanna’s tongue like a prayer makes her forget any further protests. It’s then that she gives herself over fully in the front seat of a car she’s never been in on the side of a road she can’t even name.

They shift so that Cas’ back is resting against the passenger side door and her legs are on either side of Deanna’s torso. The handle is digging into Cas’ back, but she barely even notices as Deanna begins placing kisses on the underside of her jawbone. Her hands find Cas’ ribs, and she’s rubbing gentle circles over the fabric of her shirt with the pads of her thumb.

Cas needs more contact, she grabs the hem of her shirt in a silent question and Deanna nods before helping her pull the shirt over her head. It’s lazily thrown to the backseat as Deanna gets hands back on her body. She slides her palms down so they rest just above Cas’ hipbone, and she can’t help but let out a choked whimper that’s cut off by a deep kiss from Deanna. Cas doesn’t even know how long they kiss like this, but she hopes it never ends. 

Eventually, Deanna pulls away from her mouth to work her way down to the hollow of her throat, right where Cas’ cross necklace sits. She feels Deanna’s tongue working over each side of the silver chain before she takes the pendant into her mouth. A gasp escapes Cas’ as she looks down at the sight below her. It’s divine.

Cas can’t help but grab a fistful of Deanna’s hair. She’s bucking her hips now, desperate to get some friction to her clit. The fabric of her jeans gives her some reprieve, but it’s not enough. She feels the hum of a chuckle beneath her as Deanna moves to take one of Cas’ nipples in her mouth. She gasps. Deanna’s tongue roves over the hardened bud before she sucks on it one last time and starts shifting further down leaving a trail of wet kisses in her wake. 

She then pulls on the beltloops of Cas’ jeans in question, and Cas fumbles with the button and zipper so Deanna can get them down fully. After some awkward shimmying, Cas’ lower half is exposed completely and Deanna once again shifts further down her body.

“This is a sin,” Cas chokes out, too caught up in the pleasure to actually care. Even when she touches herself, she feels more shame than she does now. All inhibitions are washed out by the singular desire for more. 

Deanna pauses, looking up from where she’s situated between Cas’ legs. And Jesus Christ is that possibly the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. She moves so that her arms are wrapped around the outsides of Cas’ thighs. The pads of her fingers are pressing down so hard she’s concerned there might be bruising in the morning. This is kind of what Cas feels like when she prays – all peaceful and unable to focus on anything else.

“I’m not scared of that shit,” she mumbles before sucking a mark into the place Cas’ hipbone meets her lower stomach. As if this response absolves her, Cas gives in. She just groans in the affirmative and pushes Deanna’s head down to where she needs it the most.

“Please, Deanna,” Cas gasps. She isn’t even thinking before she speaks, her words are dripping in desperation, “need you.” There’s no more urgency in Deanna’s actions, but Cas is getting impatient,“need you. Bad.” 

“I know, baby.” 

Cas feels the warmth from one of Deanna’s hands leave her thigh, and she looks down to protest, but instead chokes on her words when she realizes why. They’re staring at each other, breathless, and Deanna gasps as she situates her free hand between her own thighs. Cas nods, open mouthed, and watches as Deanna finally gets her mouth on the sensitive skin between Cas’ legs. And– fuck – does it feel unreal. She sees stars as Deanna meticulously works her over. 

There’s a divine combination of squeezes to her thigh and licks to her cunt. Cas can even feel the way Deanna sucks in a breath when she’s feeling particularly good herself.

Cas feels a whine escape her lips, she wishes this feeling could last forever, but she can’t hold it together for much longer. “‘M gonna–” she gasps again, feeling a familiar pressure building in her lower stomach. 

“I know.” Deanna finishes for her, continuing, “come for me, Cas.” She’s still sucking on her clit and working her jaw. The combination of Deanna’s words and ministrations is enough to push Cas’ body past the breaking point. Pleasure crashes over her, she’s trembling under Deanna’s grip. Cas doesn’t think she’s ever felt closer to God than in this moment – it’s euphoric. 

She comes back to herself, panting. Below her, Deanna is finishing. She’s still between Cas’ legs, but her mouth is slack and her eyes are shut tight as she bucks against her own hand in increasingly slower movements. After coming down, she shifts so that she’s back in the driver’s seat with her head leaning against the headrest. 

“Fuck,” she says, still a little breathless, and turns her head to meet Cas’ eyes. Cas can only stare back and lazily nod her head. “We outta get you home, huh.” Deanna says, finally. 

“Yeah,” Cas swallows, hard. She has a passing thought to ask if she can go home with Deanna, but thinks better of it. She wishes they could lay in bed together and share languid kisses to pass the time, but there’s church in the morning, and Cas’ brothers are expecting her any minute. So instead, she finishes lamely with a mumbled “yeah.” 

With that, Deanna starts the car and turns the radio up. They don’t speak for the rest of the ride. 

The next morning, Cas takes her seat in the first row of pews, right in front of where her dad will stand at the altar and deliver their Sunday sermon. Suddenly there’s a surge of voices and Cas moves to roll the cross on her necklace between her thumb and forefinger before turning her head to the entrance. There’s a smirk on Deanna’s face when they lock eyes, and Cas turns back around with a heat spreading across her cheeks. She places her hand on her thigh, fingers grazing the marks leftover from the night before. Cas can’t help but smile and send a quick prayer to God for another night with Deanna.