Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The basement reeked of dust, smoke, and sweat. Stagnant, stale, same as always. You still had to remind yourself to breathe through your mouth instead of your nose.

You padded down the creaky steps, taking in the familiar scene. Wood-paneled walls displayed an array of posters alongside shelves crammed with toys. The floor was a disaster zone of dirty clothes, scattered papers, empty beer and soda cans, CD cases, and comics.

You were supposed to meet Mikey here to pregame before hitting a party. As a regular fixture in the Way family’s life, you always walked right in without bothering to knock. But when you entered, you realized the house was empty except for Mikey’s older brother, who spent most of his time wallowing down here.

You couldn’t help yourself. By now, it was practically a ritual. You’d play video games with Mikey, watch movies, or listen to CDs until boredom inevitably set in. Then you’d need entertainment, and your best friend’s older brother made an easy target. While you thrived around people—especially the introverts you liked to collect—Gerard lurked like a self-deprecating shadow, hovering nearby but never fully engaging.

You never missed how his stare lingered too long on you. Over the years, you’d grown used to it, brushing it off because he was just Gerard. The quiet, shy, loser older brother who still lived in his parents’ basement. You’d caught him watching and waiting, sometimes with a sketchpad and pencil in hand. Once, when you came over to hang with Mikey, you glimpsed his sketchbook and spotted a drawing that looked eerily like you. It fed your ego perfectly, and Gerard looked ready to pass out when he realized you’d seen it.

Now Gerard hunched over his desk, long, greasy hair shielding his face. The light from his desk lamp caught the oil slick in his unwashed strands. He wore the same jacket you’d seen him wear dozens of times before. Honestly, you doubted he’d washed it since buying it.

His hands scratched a pencil against paper in quick, nervous strokes. He didn’t turn to look at you, but his shoulders tensed up, betraying that he knew he wasn’t alone anymore.

The corners of your lips twitched, already anticipating how he would squirm. “You’re such a little hermit, you know that?” You leaned back, hip resting against the desk as you studied him. “I’m starting to think you’ve fused to that chair.”

He didn’t look up, only angled the paper away from you, shoulder curling inward. “I’m busy.”

“Busy, huh?” You braced your hands on the desk before hopping up onto it. As you leaned in closer, the unmistakable smell of BO hit your nose. Your nose crinkled slightly, but you pressed on. “Can I see what you’re working on? Or do I need top secret clearance?”

His hand froze mid-stroke, hazel eyes flicking up to meet yours before darting away. “It’s not... ready.”

Victory. You had cracked his focus.

His eyebrow arched skeptically. “Shouldn’t you be with my brother?”

You smiled down at him sweetly. “I was supposed to meet him, but he’s running late, so I figured I’d come say hi to you instead. I mean, I’ve known you for years now, Gerard. Wouldn’t you say we’re friends?”

Gerard’s entire body went rigid. He looked up at you with that sharp, calculating stare that always made your stomach flutter with nerves. You quickly buried the feeling, maintaining your innocent smile.

“Yeah, friends, I guess.” His voice came out soft and gentle, and you almost felt bad for the way you’d been stringing him along all these years.

Almost.

You tilted your head, watching him return to his scribbling. His shoulders tight, dark hair falling like a curtain across his face. You’d been friends with Mikey long enough to recognize how Gerard’s whole body went on high alert whenever you entered a room.

And you absolutely loved it.

“Y’know,” you said casually, legs swinging from the desk, “you’re really terrible at hiding secrets.”

His pencil stopped, hovering over the page. “Secrets?” The word came out strained, and you watched with satisfaction as his knuckles turned white around the pencil.

“Mhmm.” You leaned in closer, deliberately pressing your chest against his shoulder as you reached up. The greasy texture of his unwashed hair made you cringe internally, but you pushed through it, lips hovering near his ear. “Like how you stare at me when you think I’m not looking.”

He choked on a sharp gasp, his hand jerking and smearing graphite across the paper. Ducking his head lower, he mumbled, “That’s not-”

You grinned, cutting him off. “Gerard, tell me something. Ever had a girlfriend?”

You already knew the answer. In all the years you’d been friends with Mikey, Gerard had never brought a girl home, never even mentioned one. Mikey always said his brother was different—shy, artsy, sensitive. Girls just didn’t get him.

But you knew better. Sure, he was all those things, but that wasn’t what kept girls away. It was the self-deprecating cloud that followed him everywhere, the way he barely took care of himself, how he watched everyone from the shadows. It made people uncomfortable. If you hadn’t been Mikey’s friend for so long, you’d probably avoid Gerard too.

The question hung heavy in the air. Seconds stretched into minutes, into hours. You could swear the tips of his ears turned red.

“N-No.”

You dragged the word out in a mocking coo. “Nooo? Really?” He shook his head, eyes glued to the desk. You scooted closer, your thigh pressing against his body.

“What about kissing? Have you kissed a girl, even once?”

His jaw clenched. The pencil snapped clean in half between his fingers. You jumped at the sharp crack but quickly pushed down your surprise. The broken pieces clattered onto the desk as his hands trembled against his thighs.

“...No,” he finally admitted, voice barely a whisper.

Your smile widened like a cat cornering a mouse. Sliding off the desk, you pushed Gerard’s chair back and stepped between his legs. You loomed over him, watching how he shrank deeper into his seat, hazel eyes darting everywhere but your face, his breathing shallow and uneven.

“Christ,” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair, nails dragging against his scalp. He leaned into your hand like a touch-starved cat. You traced your fingers down his head before brushing over his jaw, gripping his chin so he had no choice but to look up at you. “You’re 22, live at your parents’ house, still waiting on your first kiss? That’s…” Your grin sharpened. “Pathetic. Kind of cute, though.”

He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing. You were pushing this further than before. You couldn’t help it. Mikey was still gone, and all you had to pass the time was teasing Gerard.

“Do you want me to teach you, Gerard?” Your thumb brushed over his bottom lip, feeling it tremble beneath your touch. “Want me to be your first?”

A sound escaped him, half groan, half breath, and he shut his eyes, shame painting his face scarlet.

“Come on, big guy. Use your words.”

A shuddered breath left his lips as he nodded. “Yes, please. I… I think about it,” he whispered. “I think about kissing you all the time. More than I should.”

“Of course you do,” you murmured, leaning closer until your nose brushed his. “Bet you touch yourself too, huh? Pretending it’s me.”

His breath caught, and he gripped his thighs for support, starting to lean in. “...Yeah,” he confessed, voice cracking.

Your smirk faltered for a moment. You could feel the raw, desperate honesty radiating from his trembling body.

This was getting too real. You never went this far. You weren’t supposed to go this far. Guilt crept into your chest as your eyes flickered toward the basement stairs. Mikey was still gone, and you weren’t sure how much longer he’d take. You should’ve stayed upstairs and waited.

The air between you shifted, and you leaned back, letting him go. He whimpered at the loss of contact and the distance you created. Want and need poured off of him, and you wouldn’t be lying if you said Gerard was probably hiding a boner in his pants.

Your confidence evaporated, replaced by guilt and the nagging worry that Mikey could walk in at any second. “I, uh- I have to go now.”

You spun toward the stairs, but a firm grip on your wrist jerked you back. Your body lurched backward, and you turned to find Gerard staring up at you with those wide hazel eyes. “Please don’t leave.”

You pulled at your arm, but his grip held firm. Your lip curled in irritation. “Jesus, dude. Let go.” He didn’t budge, his long unclipped nails pressing into your skin.

“Y-You know, I’m not stupid.” You froze, eyebrow arched as he stared down at his lap, voice barely above a whisper. “I know what you were doing. What you always do.” When his eyes found yours again, you were startled to see them shining with unshed tears. “I know you mess with me because you think it’s funny.”

The guilt slammed into you again. “That’s not tr-”

He shook his head, cutting you off. “I know you like playing with my feelings. Leading me on. I-” His voice cracked. “I get it. I’m an easy target. But I wasn’t lying when I said I think about-” He paused, drawing a shaky breath. “About kissing you and touching you. And I want you to be my first.”

You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. You could do this. Kissing Gerard wouldn’t be the end of the world... But if anyone discovered what happened, it would mean social suicide. Hell, if Mikey found out, you’d have to explain why you were messing around with his older brother.

“Fine. One kiss. That’s it, okay?”

Gerard’s head bobbed eagerly before he released your wrist, sniffling and wiping his eyes with his jacket sleeve. “Really?”

He stood up, and you instinctively stepped back. He was looming over you now, and while you’d always known Gerard was bigger than you, it had never really hit you before—he usually hunched in on himself, trying to disappear in crowds. Your nerves started getting the better of you, so you pressed your hands against his chest, guiding him toward the couch with its questionable stains.

“Um, why don’t we sit down?”

Gerard nodded and moved toward the couch, settling right in the middle before looking up at you expectantly. You let out a long breath and sat beside him, the cushion dipping from your combined weight so your thighs pressed together.

You stared up at him to find he was already looking down at you. His greasy strands fell into his face, his flannel stained and wrinkled. You couldn’t help thinking that if he actually took care of himself, he’d have real potential. His eyes were pretty, and his face had that soft-yet-sharp quality that worked. His fists clenched in his lap, and you could tell he was a bundle of nerves. “Dude, you need to calm down. Take a deep breath or something. It’s not like I’m going to hurt you.”

He nodded and followed your instructions, breathing in and out slowly. “Okay, so what now?”

Jesus, he was looking at you with such wide, hopeful eyes. You felt like complete shit. He hadn’t done anything wrong to warrant your years of teasing, other than just existing. You breathed in and out, giving him a small smile. You couldn’t tell if it looked convincing.

“Well, when you kiss, you start slow, okay?” He nodded, and you gulped. This was it.

You reached out, cupping his cheek before leaning up, your nose brushing against his. His eyes fluttered closed, and you closed yours as you pressed your lips against his.

Slow. Gentle. Just like you’d promised.

Your lips moved against his slowly, trying to set the pace, but he was overeager and clumsy, crashing his mouth against yours. You tried to keep control and guide him. You were supposed to be his first kiss, to show him what to do so that if some girl actually let him within a 10-foot radius, he might have some clue how to handle it.

His hands wrapped around your waist, pressing against your bare skin where your shirt had lifted, fingers flexing before pushing you back against the cushion, caging you in. Heat flared through you, and a shiver crawled down your spine. Your eyes snapped open in shock, and you squirmed underneath him, only to freeze completely. Something hard pressed against your thigh, and you couldn’t help but cringe and feel aroused at the same time. Gerard shoved his tongue into your mouth with painfully obvious inexperience. You pressed your hands against his shoulders, trying to push him off.

You turned your head, breaking the kiss. He continued anyway, lips trailing across your cheek, jaw, and neck before moving up to your ear. You shuddered involuntarily, thighs clenching. This is enough. You needed to end this now.

“Alright, Gerard, that’s it. You finally got to kiss a girl.”

Gerard whimpered, teeth grazing your earlobe, and you squirmed beneath him more. Pinned on the couch underneath him, you were consumed by an overwhelming scent that could only be Gerard: sweat, body odor, cigarette smoke, and coffee. It made your head dizzy, almost to the point where you thought it didn’t smell that bad.

“Please, just a little more?” He kept kissing you, taking breaks between to speak, his body weight holding you down. “I never thought I’d actually get to do this with you and I-” he paused, bottom lip wobbling, “I know you think I’m just a joke, but I really like you. I always have.”

His confession brought forth a mix of emotions, the biggest being disgust: both with him and yourself. It wasn’t his fault he was a needy virgin who’d never even kissed anyone. Well, maybe it was, but you were the one who sought him out. You were the one getting off on seeing how desperate he was.

You rolled your eyes, not wanting him to see the conflicting emotions you were feeling, then moved your hands from his shoulders to the sides of his face. You held him still, and he stared down at you, tears now streaming down his cheeks. Seeing that sent a shock straight to your core, making you want him even more.

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

He obliged and leaned in again, crushing his lips against yours. There was no rhythm between you; Gerard’s inexperience showed with every clumsy movement. Maybe he’d improve with practice. You caught yourself before shaking your head at the thought.

This was supposed to be a one-time thing.

Gerard’s body pressed against yours as he whimpered into your mouth, grinding his hips against your thigh. You felt his hardness through his jeans and shifted your hips away, trying to create distance. He either missed the hint or chose to ignore it. He kept pressing against your thighs, rutting like he couldn’t control himself. His hands slid up from your waist to your chest, groping and pawing hungrily. His fingers slipped beneath your bra, grabbing and pinching until he found your nipple and began rolling it between his fingertips.

You broke the kiss and turned your head away. “All right, that’s it. We’re done. I’m done.” His face was flushed, lips swollen, and you watched disappointment wash over his features. “I only agreed to kiss you. Nothing else.”

A desperate sound escaped him, but he didn’t stop groping you or grinding against your body. “Please, just a little more?”

You shook your head as anxiety crept up your spine. “No, dude.” You pressed your hands against his chest, pushing. “Get off me.”

He crushed his lips to yours again, desperate and pleading. “Just a little more. Please.” He pinched your nipple hard, making you gasp in pain. “I want to make you feel good. I need this. I need you.”

His other hand dropped down, rubbing clumsily at your crotch. You tried to squirm away, but only sank deeper into the couch cushions. No amount of pushing or shoving seemed to budge Gerard.

You couldn’t ignore the heat building in your core as his hand ground the seam of your jeans against you. Your eyes darted nervously toward the stairs, and you whispered hoarsely, “Hurry up. I don’t want Mikey walking in.”

He nodded, tears streaming down his face and dripping onto yours. “Yeah, okay.” Gerard wasted no time. He lifted himself off you, his hand leaving your skin and giving you space to breathe before his fingers hooked under your jeans and panties, yanking them down roughly.

You lifted your hips to help, wiggling free before kicking the fabric over your feet. He tugged at your shirt’s hem, and you rolled your eyes before reaching down to pull it off along with your bra. Stupid virgin.

Gerard’s hazel eyes drank in your body, memorizing every detail. You had the unsettling feeling he’d use this as inspiration for his sketchpad later. His hands trembled, hovering uncertainly over your skin. You huffed, caught between sexual frustration and nerves-while you’d controlled him emotionally for years, stringing him along and teasing, Gerard had proven tonight that he could physically overpower you.

“Goddammit.” You grabbed his hand and looked up at him through your lashes before wrapping your lips around two of his fingers. He choked watching your mouth work, sucking and sliding before releasing them with a pop. “Touch me here.” You guided his hand between your legs, pressing his fingers against your clit and moving them in steady circles. You shuddered at the relief, eyes fluttering closed before meeting Gerard’s gaze.

He rubbed you as you’d shown him, his other hand gripping the bulge in his pants, palming himself for friction. He stared down at you like you were something precious, valuable, that he was corrupting just by touching. Though still shaking and nervous, he grew more confident hearing your quiet, breathy moans. He leaned down, nuzzling into your neck, his tongue tracing your skin before nipping gently.

You felt wetness gathering between your thighs, clenching around his hand. You needed more.

“Give me your other hand. I need more.” He paused, stopping his movements before reaching toward your outstretched hand. You finally looked at it and noticed his fingernails were dirty and overgrown. You grimaced. There was no way in hell those were going inside you.

You scoffed, pushing his hand away. “Come on… Learn some basic hygiene, and maybe girls would actually want to be around you.”

He flinched at your words and sat up. His eyebrows furrowed, and you couldn’t tell if it was sexual frustration or something else, but he pulled back from you, his fingers leaving your clit. Before you could yell at him, pissed that he’d not only pressured you to continue but also stopped touching you, he grabbed your hips in a harsh grip.

“Stop talking to me like that.” Your eyes narrowed as you propped yourself up on your elbows. He stared back, eyes and nose red from crying earlier. “I know you think you’re better than me. You make that clear every single time I see you, but you’re naked in my room getting off to my hands.”

You opened your mouth to argue that you weren’t even close to getting off, but the sound of a zipper stopped you. You stared in shock as he shoved his pants and boxers down in one desperate motion, his dick springing free. Average length, tip red and swollen, leaking precum. Dark curls surrounded it, and you weren’t surprised by the lack of grooming, but it was the smell of musk that overwhelmed your senses.

You stared at him, stunned. This wasn’t supposed to go this far. Before you could pull away, Gerard was back on you, his pudgy stomach pressing against yours.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Your hands scrambled to his chest as you squirmed, trying to avoid contact with his dick. “I didn’t agree to this. I only said I’d let you touch me.”

He pushed his knee between your legs, spreading them so he could settle between. His breath was hot against your ear as he nuzzled into your neck, breathing in your scent. Another wave of arousal shot through your core, and your hips instinctively met his. “M’sorry…” He kissed your neck—sloppy and wet. “I want to make you feel good. I want to feel good.”

His hips ground against yours, his dick sliding against your slick folds. His body shuddered, and another desperate moan escaped his lips. He continued rutting against you, and you felt tears prick the corners of your eyes as the tip of his dick caught at your entrance. He didn’t hesitate, pushing inside with an urgency that left your head spinning. You weren’t a virgin by any means, but you still felt your walls stretch around his length. He moved only halfway before pulling back and pressing deeper. He kept this rhythm until he was fully buried inside you, then began grinding his hips against yours. The pressure of his dick against your cervix was uncomfortable yet sent desire coursing through your body.

“Shit, shit, shit. You feel amazing,” he gasped before his hips slammed against yours in fast, brutal thrusts. Each impact knocked the air from your lungs as his weight crashed into you.

Gerard moaned- loud and desperate. “Fuck- you’re so good. So good. Perfect,” he mumbled against your skin.

You couldn’t help but glow at the praise, lifting your hips to meet his thrusts. You knew that in his eyes, you were perfect. Your hand slipped down between your bodies, and you didn’t care that he was sweaty, disheveled, and desperately needed a shower. You needed to cum.

Your fingers found your clit, and you began rubbing yourself as he sank deep inside you. Gerard felt your hand move and pushed his upper body up, watching your joined bodies as you touched yourself while he thrust in and out. He couldn’t decide where to look. Everything captivated him: your furrowed brow, glassy eyes that still held traces of anger, flushed cheeks, bruised lips, breasts bouncing with each movement, your hand working frantically between your legs, desperate for release.

“So beautiful. So beautiful, and all mine.”

You rolled your eyes, lifting your hips and rubbing faster, chasing your climax. He pushed your hand away and replaced it with his own. His movements were clumsy, and the orgasm you’d been building toward slipped further from reach.

You huffed, pushing at his arm. “You’re not doing it right.”

His hand stayed put. He stared down at you intently. “Then show me.”

You placed your hand over his and guided him to the rhythm you needed. He actually maintained a decent pace and stayed where you wanted him. You squeezed your eyes shut and focused on how his cock felt inside you, tip pressing against your cervix, his body pinning you down, and his thick fingers working against you. Your breathing became quick and shallow, and you could feel it building. You were almost there.

Breathy moans escaped your lips, and for a brief moment, you considered letting Gerard touch you like this more often. You gripped his wrist like a lifeline while his hand rubbed your clit and he fucked you relentlessly. His mouth found your neck again, sucking and biting at your skin, whimpering as he moved in and out. Almost there. Your back arched and your toes curled as you tumbled over the edge. You whimpered, and Gerard swallowed the sound, kissing you as you rode out your orgasm.

Your body went limp, but he kept moving inside you while his hand continued on your clit, leaving you overstimulated. You twisted in his grip, pushing his hand away. “Too much.”

His hand left your clit and gripped your hips, holding on for dear life. He pulled you down on him, each thrust becoming more erratic than the last. Any semblance of rhythm was gone—he was using you. You looked up to find him staring down at you, sweat dripping down his face, plastering his greasy hair to his head and neck, brows knitted together in concentration.

“Shit, I’m almost there.”

Panic shot through you, but before you could tell him to pull out, he slumped over you, face pressing into your hair as he breathed in your scent, groaning as he spilled into you. You felt his dick twitch inside you as he thrust in and out, slowly pumping everything into you.

The room now reeked of sex, and the only sounds came from both of your ragged breathing. He slowly sat up, using his elbows to hold his body above yours. His softening dick was still inside you, and he looked down at you with tender eyes. “Thank you, I really enj-”

You cut him off, pushing at his chest. “I know. Now get off.”

He went quiet but obliged, pulling out slowly. You cringed at the feeling of your wetness and his cum spilling over your thighs.

He winced seeing how upset you looked and grabbed a shirt that had been lying on the floor, lifting it to your legs. “Here.” He grabbed your knee and opened your legs as he wiped your thighs clean, then threw the shirt back on the floor.

You sat up, avoiding eye contact as you rushed to pull your clothes back on. “No one will find out about this. Ever.”

Gerard nodded in agreement, though hurt flickered across his face. You couldn’t worry about that now. You had done much more with him tonight than you ever intended. As you pulled your pants on, you heard the front door upstairs slam shut before your name was called out. Your heart sank into your stomach.

Shit. Mikey.

You jumped up, running your fingers through your hair, trying to make yourself look presentable before glaring back at Gerard. “Hurry up,” you hissed.

He nodded, eyes darting from the upstairs door back to you as he tugged his pants on, struggling to keep his balance while you rushed up the stairs.

You made it to the top, glancing down to ensure Gerard was dressed before opening the door with a wide smile, trying to look as innocent as possible. Mikey stood in the entryway, looking around the house until he spotted you in the doorway. “Mikey! What took you so long?”

Mikey launched into a story about someone at the store. You smiled and nodded, not really listening, until he paused mid-sentence. “Were you just downstairs with Gerard while you waited?”

You laughed, trying to sound natural while scrambling for a lie that didn’t involve admitting you’d been bullying his older brother and taking his virginity. “Yeah, I was trying to convince him to come out with us, but you know how he is.”

Mikey glanced back at the top of the stairs where Gerard now stood behind you, his shoulder pressed against the doorframe. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with?”

Gerard hesitated, his eyes flicking from his brother back to you. Your eyes narrowed in warning, and the corners of his mouth curved up slightly. “Actually, yeah, I’m convinced. I’ll come out for a bit.”

Chapter Text

Everything was wrong. It felt like the earth had tilted off its axis just enough to keep you unsteady. Gerard, who was infamous for rotting away in his basement, now trailed behind you and Mikey as you walked through the house. Music blared, bass pumped. The party was in full swing, the overwhelming smell of beer, weed, cigarette smoke, and cheap cologne hit your senses all at once. Your shoulders stayed tense as you tried to keep a neutral face, not wanting to tip Mikey off to the fact that you were sore with each step because you’d just fucked his older brother.

Mikey knew something was off. He wasn’t stupid, but seeing his brother come out of his shell and actually agree to come out with him overshadowed any suspicions he might have had. In the car, Mikey had practically glowed, talking with Gerard in the passenger seat about the friends who’d be at the party, the music, the booze, the potential of the night. Gerard stayed polite and nodded as he listened, but every few minutes you caught him glancing back at you with soft eyes.

It made your stomach twist.

The hookup didn’t mean anything. You’d done him a favor, and he knew it was a one-time thing. A mistake. You could only hope Gerard understood that.

Mikey stopped in the living room when he found a group of his friends. He paused and started introducing Gerard, explaining that this was his artistic older brother who’d just graduated from college. Seeing that Mikey and Gerard were distracted, you took the opportunity to slip away and head to the kitchen. Solo cups and bottles of alcohol were scattered across the sticky counter. You shoved your way through the crowd before pouring yourself a drink. Half rum, half coke.

A shaky breath left your lips as you brought the cup to your mouth and took a large gulp. It burned, but you welcomed it. The warmth of the alcohol washed over your body, and you finally felt like you could breathe.

“You okay?”

You peered up to see a guy in his early twenties smiling down at you. “Huh?”

He nodded at your drink. “That’s pretty heavy-handed. You look like you need it though.”

A quiet laugh escaped your lips, and you shrugged. “Yeah, it’s just been an...” you paused, “interesting day.”

He grinned down at you. “Well, I hope this is an improvement.” He started mixing his own drink, glancing back at you. “I’m Mark.”

You gave him your name, sipping from your cup. Conversation flowed easily between you, and you almost managed to forget about the sticky mess between your legs.

Time slipped away, and you found yourself on the living room couch, passing a joint back to Mark. You discussed the classes you were taking, your bullshit professors. The crossfade hit hard: your head spinning, limbs sinking into the cushions. Mark sat close, his leg brushing yours. His hands moved as he talked, voice warm and low.

You didn’t mind. He was a good distraction from what happened earlier.

The music pounded, the people were even louder. Sweat trickled down the back of your neck. You needed some air. When you told Mark, he offered to come with you. You didn’t say no.

Outside, the backyard felt less suffocating. The cool October air made you shiver, and you pulled your jacket tighter. Multi-colored Christmas lights hung around the porch, casting everything in a warm glow. A small group clustered by the firepit, laughing and drinking. The smell of smoke and damp leaves helped you breathe easier.

“You want another hit?”

Mark held out the joint. You nodded thanks, fingers brushing his before bringing it to your lips. You inhaled and held it, then exhaled with a burning throat, raising your arm to muffle your cough.

You sank back onto the wooden bench. Mark followed, and you passed the joint back. He slipped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer. Too close, and you could feel the warmth from his breath. He kept rambling about some drunk asshole at a bar. Goosebumps rose on your arms, and you froze, Mark’s voice droning on.

You felt the pull. You didn’t need to look to know who it was.

Just a few feet away, Gerard stood half-shadowed near the porch’s edge, cigarette dangling from his fingers, shoulders rigid.

Watching.

His hazel eyes burned into yours. You flinched, breath catching in your throat. Mark didn’t notice.

“-and then the dude trips over the pool table like he’s in slow motion,” Mark laughed.

You tried to laugh along, but what escaped was strained and hollow. Your eyes darted back to Gerard.

He hadn’t moved. Hadn’t said a word. Just stared.

A chill ran through you, and you stood abruptly, shrugging Mark’s arm off your shoulders.

“You good?”

You glanced down at Mark and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just need to hit the bathroom.”

You rushed inside, the glass door slamming behind you. Heavy footsteps followed, but you didn’t look back. You already knew who it was.

You pushed through the crowd of people, shoving until you reached the bathroom door. As you went to close it behind you, a hand caught it. Gerard stepped inside and shut the door.

The click of the lock was deafening.

Your eyebrow shot up, frustration surging through you. “Gerard, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

He leaned against the door, arms crossed, his gaze raking over your body. “What do you think I’m doing? What the fuck were you doing out there?”

“What are you talking about? I was just outside smoking and-”

He cut you off, straightening to his full height, his frame towering over you. “You let him put his arm around you.”

You stepped back. “So? It’s not like we’re together.”

That stopped him cold. The anger drained from his face.

“...What?”

You swallowed hard. “What happened earlier- that was a mistake.”

“No.” His voice cracked. “No, don’t say that. It wasn’t a mistake. I mean, I know you didn’t want to tell anyone about us yet-”

“’Us?’”

“You’re just scared. I get it. It’s a big step. But I’m not going anywhere, okay? You don’t have to pretend you don’t feel it.”

A bitter laugh burst from you, and you shook your head. “Jesus, are you fucking serious? It was a hookup, and not even a good one.” You stepped closer, eyes blazing, finger jabbing into his chest. “We aren’t a thing. We are never going to be a thing. And you need to get that through your thick fucking skull.”

Gerard’s eyes blazed, and he blinked rapidly. “If it was such a bad fucking hookup then why did you cum on my dick?”

Your chest rose and fell in sharp, angry breaths as you locked eyes. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, mixed with everything else that made up Gerard. “The only reason I came was because I had to physically guide you through it. Before tonight, you were just a loser virgin living in his parents’ basement. Nothing’s changed-”

Gerard seized your shoulders, crushing his lips against yours. Tears streamed down his face, and his fingers dug into you desperately, as if he was afraid you’d vanish. All the pent-up aggression and raw emotion from tonight erupted between you, and you found yourself kissing back, fingers threading through his greasy hair, tugging hard. He groaned into your mouth, and your thighs pressed together, seeking friction.

He pulled back, pupils blown wide, forehead pressed to yours. “Show me. Please. I can learn. You said I did it right earlier. I can be good for you. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Your breath hitched, and you nodded. “Fine.” You released him, ignoring his soft whimpers as you stepped back until your lower back hit the counter. You hoisted yourself up with your palms. “I’ll let you touch me again, but you do exactly what I say or we stop. Understood?”

Gerard stepped forward, closing the gap, and nodded eagerly, desperate for your approval. He positioned himself between your thighs before leaning down to kiss you intensely, one hand settling on your waist while the other cupped your cheek.

Want and need coiled tight in your core, and your hips tilted up against him instinctively. He was already hard, and feeling his arousal again just hours after you’d had sex sent heat spiraling through you.

Gerard whined against your mouth, feeling the pressure and returning the favor by grinding against you. You both found a steady rhythm—kissing, sucking, and dry humping each other until you broke away for air. When you turned your head, Gerard continued his assault, lips brushing against your neck and jawline, sending shivers racing through your body. His teeth grazed your skin, and you groaned as he began to bite and suck, no doubt leaving marks. You wanted to feel ashamed and embarrassed, but his mouth on your neck while he ground his erection against you left your head spinning.

“Touch me. Now.”

Gerard didn’t need to be told twice. His hand slid from your waist downward, fingers slipping below your waistband before he tugged harshly. You lifted your hips to help him, kicking off your shoes as he pulled your jeans down your legs.

A shaky breath escaped Gerard as he stared down at you: still wearing your shirt, jacket, and underwear. The fabric of your panties had darkened with your arousal, and you felt small under his intense gaze.

“You’re so beautiful.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your cheeks before reaching out to grab his shoulders, crashing your lips against his. He kissed you back while his hand crept from your thigh to your core, thumb rubbing you through the damp fabric.

Your hips rocked against his hand, electric current shooting through your body. “More. I need more.”

Gerard obliged, pulling your panties down to the floor. You shivered as the cool air hit your core, contrasting sharply with the warmth of his touch.

“On your knees. I want you to eat me out.”

He slowly sank down, both hands gripping the tops of your thighs. His hazel eyes looked up at you through dark lashes, and you couldn’t hold back a long, languid moan as he used his hands to spread your legs wider, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your skin, trailing upward until he reached your entrance. Your legs hooked over his shoulders as he pulled you close in a tight grip.

His hands trembled, and you couldn’t tell if it was from nerves, excitement, or both, you couldn’t tell.

You reached down and ran your fingers through his hair, nails scratching his scalp as you pulled him closer, tilting your hips toward him. You shuddered as Gerard’s hot breath hit your pussy, whining when you felt his tongue slide over your slit. He groaned, tasting what remained from your earlier encounter, plunging his tongue into you with steady rhythm.

“You taste so fucking good. Been thinking about doing this for years.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, caught between a mix of disgust and arousal at his confession.

“Gerard, keep going. I need more. Please.”

It felt like heaven when his tongue flattened over your clit. Your fingers tightened in his hair, pulling him closer as you ground against his face. He moaned when you pulled his hair, the vibration making your eyes flutter closed.

“Fuck, just like that.”

You ground against him and he ate you out like a man devouring his last meal. His nails dug into your skin, holding you tight. He was insatiable.

Your toes curled as pleasure built inside you. Your fingers twisted in his hair, tightening as you panted and rocked against his mouth. His lips wrapped around your clit, tongue flicking at a relentless pace. You threw your head back, moaning curses and pleas. You covered your mouth, terrified someone from the party would hear, and your body shook as you came on his tongue.

Gerard continued his ministrations, riding out your aftershocks. You whined and tried to pull away, releasing his hair and slumping against the bathroom counter. You opened your eyes to find him looking at you with a smug grin, mouth shiny and wet.

You made grabby hands at him. “C’mere.”

He stood up, staying between your thighs, and hovered over you before pressing his lips to yours. You sighed, tasting yourself before pausing when you felt his hard length against your sensitive pussy.

You leaned back, eyes flickering between his erection and his face. “Well, you definitely can’t go back out there with that.” You reached out and palmed him through his jeans, feeling him melt under your touch.

Gerard panted, hips pressing against your hand, seeking friction. “I need you. Please, I need to feel you around me again.”

You nodded, too blissed out from your second orgasm of the night to say no. “Fine, but make it quick.”

“Fuck, thank you.” He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before gripping your hips with both hands. In one swift movement, he lifted you from the counter and spun you around so your chest pressed against the countertop, facing the mirror. His hands rushed to unbuckle his belt, and you heard his pants unzip before feeling the warmth of his length against you.

One hand grabbed at you, palming and squeezing your ass while the other gripped his dick, stroking himself. You arched your back, pressing against him, and you could feel his precum smear against your skin, leaving a cool trail.

“You’re so perfect. Like you were made for me.”

He positioned himself against you, and you held eye contact with him in the mirror as he began entering you with ease. Your walls stretched, but he slid in effortlessly from how wet you were. Gerard groaned loudly, unashamed, as he slammed into you at breakneck speed. You whimpered at his rough intrusion as your hips dug into the counter’s edge. The room filled with moans and wet slapping sounds.

He hunched over your body, breath hot against the back of your neck while one hand reached around to grab and grope your tits. “Can’t wait to fill you up.” His mouth found your neck again, and he sucked, nipped, and bit at you, making you cry out. He was definitely going to leave marks.

You covered your mouth, trying to muffle any loud noises. Gerard noticed, eyes narrowing before he released your chest and grabbed the hand covering your mouth. “Nuh, uh. I want them to hear. I want that fucking asshole who had his arm around you to hear.”

He stood up, his pace never faltering as he manhandled you, grabbing both wrists and pinning them behind your back, holding you up. You watched in the mirror as your chest bounced with each thrust, your face contorting with pleasure. Beads of sweat rolled down Gerard’s face, plastering his hair to his skin.

Your walls fluttered against him, and you clenched your legs together. The heat of your bodies, your sore pussy, the confusing emotional whirlwind of tonight. It all left you overstimulated.

“Too much, fuck. Gerard, it’s too much.”

You could barely breathe, arms pinned behind you as he used your body, unable to look away. He leaned in, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “Shhh… You’re okay, I got you.” He groaned, feeling you clench around him, cringing feeling the drops of sweat fall from his body onto yours. “I’m almost there, babe.”

He buried his face into the crook of your neck, panting loudly as he filled you with his cum. He shuddered, his hips driving into you as hard and deep as he could. He released your wrists and you both slumped forward onto the counter. His chest rose and fell as he caught his breath, his dick still inside you.

You started coming to your senses, whining at his weight pinning you against the counter, feeling his cum begin to leak down your thigh. You could hear the party continuing outside the bathroom. Drunk voices yelling, music still blasting, the bass vibrating through your feet. Anxiety crept up on you, and you couldn’t help wondering if Mark noticed that both you and Gerard had disappeared. Or worse, if Mikey noticed.

“Get off. We’ve been in here too long.”

He sighed as he pulled out his softening dick. You stood up on shaking legs and turned to grab your jeans and panties. You paused, eyebrow raising as you watched Gerard shove familiar black lace into his pocket. You rolled your eyes, too drunk, high, and exhausted to argue.

“Pervert.”

Gerard’s cheeks flushed pink, and he shoved himself back into his jeans, watching while you pulled your pants up.

“So, I was thinking I want to take you on a real date.” You froze, bent over mid-pull, eyes glancing up at him as he continued. “Does dinner tomorrow work?”

You shook your head and shimmied your pants up. The audacity of this man.

“No, Gerard. I’m not having dinner with you.”

The corners of his mouth turned down. “Why not? We obviously work well together. I don’t know why you keep denying it.”

“Just because we fucked doesn’t mean anything. We aren’t anything, and this won’t happen again. Ever.”

A flash of hurt flickered across Gerard’s face before a scowl replaced it. “It’s just dinner. But if you’re really going to pretend this meant nothing... I guess I’ll have to find someone else to talk to about it. Mikey’s always been a good listener.”

Your eyebrows drew together, arms crossing defensively. “What time?”