Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Parang hindi ko naman kamukha… siguro sa ganitong anggulo."

Justin slightly moves the handheld mirror to the left, turning his head to capture a certain angle, "Ayan. Ganito. Totoo ba? Parang hindi naman?"

Seated on the floor was an unamused Josh, deadpan eyes trained on the other, who seemed to have let the barrage of admirers get into his head— ever since that one J-pop band got popular, it became increasingly clear for a lot of people that Justin looked exactly like one of the members (In regards to which group or which member, Josh doesn't bother knowing.)

It was funny at first, seeing Justin all shy with this newfound attention. But it quickly got old when Josh realized that it wasn't going to simmer down in just a couple of days.

"Sakto lang. Magkaparehas kayo ng ilong," Josh finally offers.

The slight quirk on the corners of Justin's lips fails to hide how pleased he was with the confirmation, "Onti lang."

Josh fights the urge to roll his eyes.

It wasn't that big of a deal. Really.

Justin has always attracted attention before. The soft boy charms really worked for a lot of people… but compared to how he is constantly blocked by his admirers performing grandiose acts of love in public now, it's becoming a slow and painful realization for Josh that he's an unwilling participant in all of this.

Why? The two are almost always together.

They go to the same school. They live on the same street. They go to the same cafe every day, where they get the same order. Hell, they even got circumcised at the same time. Josh and Justin, who have been together since they were kids, often came as a package deal. A Double J of some sort.

So much so that people always used to mix up their names, and it never bothered Josh. But that was before. Because now Justin is the ultra-popular cutie who looks like that one J-pop guy, and Josh is… well, Josh.

"Okay na, pogi? Pwede mo na ba ko tulungan, pogi?"

Josh barely dodges Justin's attempt to pinch his cheek as the younger settles down beside him, the clutter on the floor finally receiving attention; a mess of Josh's sketches, magazine cutouts, and an array of jotted down notes on various kinds of paper. Justin picks up a sketch that has been drawn on the back of a fast-food flyer, "Pinapagawa ba kayo ng collection?"

"Mhm," Josh purses his lips, "Hindi naman full-sized. Capsule collection lang so like… three pieces minimum."

"Kaya mo naman 'yun 'ah."

"Hindi ko naman sinasabing hindi ko kaya— malamang kaya ko. I'm just… syempre hinihingi ko opinyon mo. You're the design student."

Justin looks at him funny, "And ikaw 'yung fashion student."

"Jah naman 'eh."

"Hindi, I mean," Justin sits up straight, like he always does when he's about to prove a point, "Dapat tungkol sa'yo, diba? All about you. Hindi mo kailangan ng opinyon ko."

Josh lets out a sigh. He was hoping for a more insightful perspective from his best friend, but as his eyes returned to his "idea clutter," which ranged from dark grunge concepts to borderline fetish goth concepts, the glaring question started to unravel right in front of him, too.

"Siguro ang dapat na tanungin mo, sino ka ba?"

-‘๑’-

Josh was only six years old when his parents decided to get a divorce.

It was very confusing for someone so little and naive to fully understand why his Papa was suddenly packing his bags and walking out the door. His memories of the day were hazy; he remembers his father kneeling on one knee to level with him, hands firmly on his shoulder as he asked, "Josh, gusto mo ba sumama sakin?"

Josh didn't understand back then. Go with him where? Where was his Papa going? And why was his Mama not coming with?

He remembers shaking his head, hands clutching on the hem of his dinosaur pajama shirt as he responds, "Walang kasama si Mama."

Josh never saw him again after that day.

It didn't take long for little Josh to realize that it was only him and his Mama by then. As a result, he got used to taking care of her early. At the age of seven, Josh already knew how to make breakfast for both of them, or how to check several times that the front door was locked because his mother would sometimes be too tired to do so, or how to clean up after Mama's mess when she came home drunk beyond her mind. It was daunting, yes, but he had no other choice. He was all that his mother had left.

When Josh was nine, he stumbled upon a box of cut-up photographs underneath his mother's bed while he was cleaning. Old family photos and faded pictures of his parents, where his father was cut out of every single one, some completely, and some where only fragments of the person remain. A sudden realization came down on Josh that day; he doesn't remember what his father looked like.

-‘๑’-

[June 16th, 17:23 josh 🐹: jah sunduin nalang kita sa room niyo after para sabay na tayo bumili ng supplies]

[June 16th, 17:30 josh 🐹: maaga ba dismissal niyo? absent ata prof namin eh.]

[June 16th, 17:38 josh 🐹: ? ano na]

By four o'clock sharp, Josh stood outside of Justin's classroom to wait for his best friend to come out. He perks up as the classroom finally opens, watching as a barrage of students scramble out the door to try and beat the afternoon rush of traffic. To be fair, Josh wouldn't be surprised if the other forgot that they even talked about getting supplies together, as Justin tends to be forgetful when it comes to things they impulsively decide on. He also wouldn't be surprised if the reason why he hasn't received any reply from him was that Justin forgot his charger again.

And, again, to be fair, Josh was correct on both of his assumptions.

What surprised him of all things was the buff Adonis-looking guy pressing a goodbye kiss on Justin's cheek before waving goodbye and walking off.

What the hell?

It takes a beat of awkward silence before Justin finally speaks up, face reddening like he was caught guilty of doing something illegal, "Josh! Susunduin mo pala ako— ano na ano— nalowbatt kasi ako kaya baka ano— baka nagmemessage ka sakin tapos hindi ko nakita."

Josh probably looked constipated or confused, or maybe a mixture of both, for Justin to start stumbling like that, "Chineck lang kita. Hindi ka ba sasabay?"

"Baka hindi na. May dinner ata kami nila Mama 'eh, siguro didiretso na ko 'dun… may sinabi ba 'kong sasabay ako kanina?"

Oh. So he did forget.

Josh shakes his head, "Wala. Wala 'kang sinabi. Sige, mauuna na ko, may pupuntahan pa ko," feet already walking away before he could even finish speaking, not even letting Justin reply.

He didn't mean to do that; he didn't want to disrespect Justin by such an abrupt exit like that. But something tight and heavy seemed to have gripped in his chest. Who even was that guy? And why didn't Justin tell him about… his boyfriend? His suitor?

Josh frowns at the thought.

For so long, it was always him and Justin. Justin knew everything about Josh, and Josh knew everything about Justin. So was that? What else could Justin not be telling him now? For the first time in forever, Josh feels a gap forming between them. Josh knew everything— it was a joke between them for fuck's sake. But this new territory, a new side of Justin that he might not know anything of, has rendered him helpless. He hated how bitter the thought felt in his mouth.

It was only when he was nearly run over by a car that he slowed down walking, a dawning awareness making him aware of where he had just power-walked to.

The streetlights were already starting to flicker on one by one as Josh gradually stopped to look around at the old public playground that he used to play in. He finds himself walking towards a big elephant-shaped slide, the space underneath its stomach hollowed out. Contemplating for a while, he fights the petty feeling of childishness as he sits underneath the elephant again, stretching his legs and letting his feet push against what was supposed to be the elephant's trunk, serving as a slide down. At that very moment, Josh recalls the first time he and his mother fought shortly after he discovered those cut-up photographs of his father.

Josh wanted to know what he looked like. A photo, a drawing, or anything. He remembered slamming the door as he ran out of their house, ignoring his mother crying out for him to come back. He remembered coming to this very spot, curling up with his knees against his chest as he tried not to cry. Most importantly, he remembered Justin, the gap-toothed kid who used to follow him around, sitting down beside him in that narrow space under the slide.

"Nag-aano… nagmimiyak ka ba?"

"Anong umiiyak?" Josh raises his head up, sniffling and wiping his tears with the back of his hand, "Hindi ako umiiyak 'no."

"Nakita kita 'eh," Justin insists, "'Mimiyak ka. Naka-duko ka pa nga. Ganito 'oh," he curls up just like Josh was doing earlier.

"Hindi ako naka-ganyan!"

"Liar! Liar ka! Mapupunta ka sa demons pag ganyan!"

Josh can only chuckle fondly at the memory. Back then, Justin cared more about him. Maybe it was because there wasn't any distance between them like they do now. Maybe it was time to accept that Justin and he would inevitably diverge paths like any other pair of friends would do; it was foolish for him to secretly hope otherwise. He leans back and closes his eyes, pretending it was just him in the world for a while. In there, there was no Justin to leave him behind.

The soft rustling of leaves snaps him out of his focus, perking up to peek at who was coming, but the playground has already gotten much darker than it was when he first arrived. Josh was just about to get out of the space and stand when Justin suddenly peered down on him, a worried expression on his face, "Josh?"

Josh blinks, "Jah?"

"Umiiyak ka ba?"

"Ha?! Hindi!" Josh immediately responds, brows furrowing, "Bakit ako iiyak?!"

"Eh kasi naka-pikit ka kanina 'eh."

"Hindi pwedeng natutulog lang, Jah?" Josh pushes past him as he stands up and dusts himself off.

"Bakit nandito ka?" Justin pushes, his lips curved down into a frown, "Bigla kang nag-walk out sakin kanina. Yayain na sana kita mag-dinner kasama kami."

"Gagi. Nakakahiya. Saka bakit andito ka?"

"Hinahanap kita."

Josh doesn't ask why. He just brushes the warm feeling swirling in his stomach off and starts to walk alongside Justin. Their conversation easily slides back to how it usually was: projects and gossip on the campus.

Maybe nothing has changed at all. Maybe Justin was still within hand's reach after all.

Chapter Text

Josh's day starts before the rooster even crows.

With his mother working as a full-time writer, her day is mostly spent typing away to meet another deadline or locking herself in to brainstorm new ideas, so that simply means that Josh has long since settled into his role as the responsible one in the house. Breakfast and lunch should already be prepared, laundry in the cycle, and the floor at least decently clean before he leaves for school. And this worked for Josh; he didn't really mind the extra work he had to put in. He was used to it. Everything was much in order when he was the one handling the controls.

His 5:30 AM alarm rang just in time as he finished washing the dishes, sunlight already starting to peek through the window panes. For a moment of silence, while he dries his hands off with a paper towel, he found his thoughts drifting to what happened yesterday, particularly to the annoyingly handsome buff Adonis who somehow had the permission and the guts to kiss Justin goodbye like that— besides, who was even built like that in college? Weren't they all busy and surviving off of half-assed thirty-minute breaks to have time to hit the gym to look like the next star of Magic Mike?

He wasn't even able to ask Justin about it last night. He should've. Or maybe he didn't want to.

Justin was his closest friend. He told Justin everything, from his dreams of becoming a fashion designer one day to how his boxers mysteriously get holes after he washes them. So he would appreciate it if Justin told him about whoever that guy is; he didn't want to ask. He wasn't some jealous girlfriend for fuck's sake. He wants to be involved in his friend's life, maybe ask the guy if his intentions were clean… shit, he didn't even think about that before, what if it isn't? Justin was way too gullible to know about those things!

The epiphany woke him up better than the coffee he had just downed a few minutes ago did; he should talk to Justin about it as soon as possible.

-‘๑’-

[June 17th, 3:13 jahnoob 🙈: joshhh 2loy ba tayo later? papaalam ako kay mama.]

[June 17th, 3:14 josh 🐹: yup onti lang naman bibilhin ko dw hindi kita pagbubuhatin]

[June 17th, 3:16 jahnoob 🙈: dapat lng :p mas mukha ka kasing kargador.]

[June 17th, 3:17 josh 🐹: anong sabi mo]

[June 17th, 3:20 jahnoob 🙈: c u later :P]

[June 17th 3:21 josh 🐹: sino nga pala yung kahapon?]

[June 17th, 3:21 josh 🐹 liked your message.]

Josh wasn't able to open up the topic at all this morning. The water supply in their street got cut off for about half an hour, resulting in both of them having a delay in their morning routines. Beyond that, one of Justin's admirers had the brilliant idea of staging a very public serenade right in front of the school gates, making them both almost late for their first class. Josh would've found it at least slightly amusing if the guy (who looked stupid in that obviously knock-off LV jacket he was wearing, by the way) actually sang well.

He shakes the frustration off, choosing to focus on the bodice that he was supposed to be drafting. He can just talk to Justin about it later, when they meet up to finally buy supplies for their projects, maybe then he can open up his concern that the Hercules wannabe looked like a fuckboy and was probably not good enough for Justin anyway.

And Justin would listen to him. Like he always does.

"Kubit naman 'yang linya mo," Pablo's voice breaks Josh's train of thought, startling him.

"Ano ba 'yan," Josh turns to Pablo, wide-eyed, "Mas nakubit tuloy!"

"Bobo ka lang mag-linya, boi," The long-haired menace then pushes some of Josh's materials aside to make space for him, "Pinalipat ako ng table. Tabi na tayo."

"Bakit? Nakaaway mo nanaman katabi mo?"

"Hindi 'ah," Pablo's already lining up his pens on the corner of the table, a stark comparison to Josh's side, "Nanghihiram ng gamit sakin. Bakit? Nanay niya ba ko para mag-provide para sakanya?"

"Amp," Josh mumbles in disbelief, returning to his work, "Kaya wala 'kang kasundo 'eh."

The other doesn't even dignify him with a response as he starts his work, too. Pablo was kind of a lone wolf, and that's not even in a metaphorical sense; most of the young man's works were based on wolfhood. Josh was a talented seamster, but Pablo was on another level of handiwork, having already worked alongside multiple big names in their local fashion industry.

"Naka-isip ka na ng concept para sa capsule collection mo?" Pablo asked, making conversation while he was pinning his bodice draft down.

"Hm," Josh pauses for a moment, not wanting to look like he had a lack of progress, "May naisip na ko pero hindi pa final. Ang hirap mag-design 'eh."

"Bakit hindi ka magpatulong sa boyfriend mo?"

"Ha? Anong boyfriend ko?"

"Yung sa design program. Hindi mo ba boyfriend 'yun?"

"Hindi 'ah," Josh's eyebrows were furrowed to the point of his face almost folding, "Best friend ko 'yun."

"Ah. Kala ko boyfriend mo."

Josh thinks about that for a second. Do they look like they were dating? It has never crossed his mind before. There's no way he would date Justin… that's freaky, he's known him since they were kids.

"Sabi niya sakin dapat ako daw gumawa ng sketches ko," Josh explains, "Para unapologetically me 'yung magiging collection."

"Mhm. Your not-boyfriend's right."

Josh makes a faux sound of distaste, "Tigil mo nga 'yan."

-‘๑’-

Justin stares down at the Post-it in his hand, cheeks burning crimson as he reads over the cursive letters once again. Yes, he has had admirers before, and yes, he has been asked out before, but never was he invited over to someone's dorm like this. Stell was brave for sure— after pulling off that cheek kiss yesterday that rendered Justin speechless, to now putting emphasis that he lived alone in his dorm in his note.

"Ayos 'ah," Ken teases beside him, nudging his side, "Score ka na niyan."

"Baliw!" Justin sputters out as he pockets the note, "Nagpapatulong kasi siya mag-ayos ng gamit niya 'don tapos ipapa-paint niya 'yung isang wall niya."

"Sus. Para ka namang elementary."

Was Stell really that kind of person? Justin doesn't really know how to feel, as an overwhelming flutter of nerves comes swirling in his stomach. He hasn't even had his first kiss.

"Saka hindi ako makakapunta. May lakad kami ni Josh," he adds.

"Ha? Bakit uunahin mo 'yun?" Ken, who was now leaning on the stairway rail, looked at him like he had just grown two heads, "Date na 'yan 'oh! Hihindi ka pa kay Stell?"

Justin frowns, one hand in his pocket as his fingers fiddle with the note. It's true that Stell was attractive, and anyone with a brain, including Ken, would kill for a chance. He knows that the reason why Stell even noticed him was because of that J-pop idol that everyone keeps comparing him to; Stell even had the idol as his lockscreen!

Maybe Justin didn't want to be a placeholder for some celebrity crush, or maybe he imagined that his firsts wouldn't be with someone he's only known for a month, but was it so wrong for him to hesitate?

Ken places a hand on his shoulder, "Maiintindihan ka 'nun ni Josh."

-‘๑’-

[June 17th, 17:46 jahnoob 🙈: joshhhh pass muna pala ako. may group meeting kami! daan nalang ako sa bahay niyo mamaya :)]

Josh reads the message twice before he finally understands that Justin cancelled on him last minute. Well, this was a first. There were times when the other would forget their plans, but he has never cancelled on Josh like this before. He doesn't really know what to feel.

It takes him a minute before he stands up from the bench where he was supposed to meet Justin, shoving the drawings he was supposed to show him back in his bag. It didn't matter; it came from Justin himself anyway, his approval was not needed. Josh wasn't sure why he was so eager to get it.

Right! And why did he have to wait for Justin to buy supplies anyway? Josh was independent. He could do it by himself. Honestly, fuck whatever group meeting Justin was having. He needed to start with his project, which should be his top priority.

He ignores the same gripping feeling in his chest again, much tighter this time around.

And when he comes across one of those charcoal pens that Justin has been raving about, Josh doesn't bother buying one.

Chapter Text

From as far as Josh can remember, Justin had always been there for him during his bad days. Every failure, every fight with his mother, every time he felt like the world was going against him, Justin was his shoulder to cry on.

So as he walks home with multiple bags in hand that now feel heavier with no one to help him, he can't help but feel a little bit lost. Until now, it has never been clear to him that he's lonely. If Justin wasn't around, who was he supposed to tell how miserable he was? The obvious answer frustrates him even further.

"Bwisit," he grumbles to himself as he torments a pebble on the road by kicking it away.

In all honesty, he feels a tiny bit guilty for being upset at Justin in the first place. Whatever the other does, it doesn't really have anything to do with him. It's not like Justin is stopping him from making more friends; it was his choice all along. So maybe it's his fault, maybe this whole ordeal was childish, but he can't help but wish that his dearest friend would just stay. Like he always used to do.

The ping from his phone stops him from walking— thinking it might be an important text, he puts the bags down so he can check out who it was. It was a post notification from Justin (Josh likes to be updated), an elevator-mirror selfie of him and the Hercules-wannabe guy, with only a smiley as a caption.

Needless to say, Josh was about to shit-talk every player he's about to come across when he plays games tonight.

-‘๑’-

"Justin, pwede ka naman huminga, ayoko namang mamatay ka dito sa dorm ko."

It's safe to say that Justin was nervous about being alone with Stell, given the way he was sitting straight, hands on his lap, while holding a breath like he was about to be in a job interview. The quip from Stell eases the air as Justin lets out a bashful chuckle, "Grabe. Hindi… ano lang. Kinakabahan lang ako."

"Ay, hindi halata," Stell pushes the tray of cookies towards him, "Chill ka lang. Sabi ko naman. I just want to get to know you better, diba? And totoo naman na nagustuhan ko 'yung artworks mo. Kaya naisip ko sayo na ko hihingi ng advice para sa wall ko."

Stell's flat was much spacious than a typical dorm. Instead of a cramped single-room setup, it was a one-bedroom studio complete with separate areas for a living room, kitchen, and dining area. The space felt understated with the décor being minimal, only a couple of picture frames with what appears to be Stell with his family hanging on the wall.

Justin smiles, pleased, "Ah. Thank you."

There was a pause of silence before Stell spoke up again, "Ang dami 'kong sinabi tas 'thank you' lang talaga ibabalik mo sakin."

"Sorry," Justin's eyes crinkle as he apologizes, the tips of his ears turning red from embarrassment, "Hindi lang talaga ako sanay. It's… first time ko na makipag-meet na one on one. Ganon."

Cute, Stell thinks.

"Kaya pala. Uhm, hindi ko sinasabing stinalk kita pero parang ganun na 'din 'yung lagay, hindi mo boyfriend 'yung lagi mong kasama sa pictures?"

"Boyfriend? Wala 'ah." Does Stell think he's the kind to go out with people despite being taken? Justin frowns, "Si Josh ata sinasabi mo. Best friend ko 'yun."

"Aah. Best friend," Stell's head tilts to the side, curious, "Sa… fashion design siya 'no? Kaklase niya ata 'yung isang friend ko 'eh."

Justin nods, "Oo, tapos isa siya sa designers ng merch ng school, 'yung hoodies and jackets. Saka kasama 'din siya sa online gaming varsity natin. Ang galing nga 'eh… last year nag-laro sila internationally pero hanggang finals lang umabot. Sasama sana ako 'nun kaso may outing kami ng family ko."

With the way Justin comfortably rambles, showing more emotion at that moment than he did the entire time they've been together, there's a part of Stell that just knows exactly what's happening. He decides to probe further, "Pero never nagka-something between you two?"

"No… best friend lang talaga," Justin's not sure why he sounds hesitant with his answer.

"Okay," Stell beams triumphantly, "So may chance."

-‘๑’-

The next morning, Josh wakes up with a mind full of determination to make the best collection the school has ever seen. After discovering that terrorizing all his enemy players wasn't going to make him feel better, he decided that pouring all this emotion into finishing his project would be much more productive. He wasn't about to mope about Justin like a teenage girl with a crush, so what if he's dating now? Good for him!

The fact that he decided to go ahead and leave for school earlier without even stopping for Justin was not related to what was currently happening at all. Surely.

It was the start of a new era, Josh thinks. He needed to have a brand new version of himself, too, which is exactly the reason why last night, he had the impulsive decision of dyeing his hair a bright, eye-catching red.

"Buti hindi ka napagkamalang stoplight?"

"Ulol," Josh rolls his eyes at Pablo, "Ang pogi ko kaya. Bagay sakin."

"Okay naman," Pablo finally gives in, looking at the new hairstyle seriously this time, "Ano ba 'yan? May pinopormahan ka ba?"

Josh's head recoils, brows furrowing like Pablo just told him something absurd, "Hindi 'ah. Part 'to ng branding ko para sa magiging collection ko. I have to look the part."

"Mhm. Sabagay," Pablo suddenly perks up like he remembered something, pulling his phone out, "Oo nga pala. Before I forget, baka interesado ka mag-adopt," he shows Josh a photo of a litter of puppies, "Nanganak kasi 'yung aso ng kapatid ko. Wala naman kaming mapaglagyan sa bahay so pinapamigay nalang namin."

Josh would normally say that he's more of a cat person. He imagines that he won't be able to do well with high-maintenance pets. But there was something about the cow-patterned puppy in the far corner of the photo that pulled at his heartstrings, curled up away from the rest of its siblings.

"Hala, ang cute," he gushes, zooming in on the photo, "Susunduin ko ba sainyo?"

"Hindi na. Pahatid ko nalang sa kapatid ko mamaya pag uwian para madala mo na."

-‘๑’-

And that's how Josh ends up with a puppy at the end of the day, snoozing in his arms, the warmth of its sleeping weight bringing a sense of comfort to his chest. This is just what he needed— a new companion. One that could be loyal to him, he thinks. He notes to himself to bring Pablo something nice as a token of gratitude, as the man has unknowingly saved him temporarily from his whole Justin crisis.

"Cute naman," Justin softly coos, hand gently ruffling the head of the cow-puppy, "Ano ipapangalan mo, Josh?"

Josh didn't want to hate Justin for having a life. If he were honest with himself, he knew that he could never stay mad at his best friend, especially about something so childish. He just wished the other would tell him about the Hercules-wannabe without Josh having to ask.

"Hindi ko pa alam," Josh looks down on the pup, unconsciously rocking his body as if lulling a child to sleep, "Pero may naiisip na ko. Uhm… Max! or Milo."

"Ang common naman 'nun," Justin opposed, "Yung cute lang dapat. Ibubu, ganon?"

"Ibubu?"

"Oo, Ibubu."

"Parang bobo naman 'yun! Ibobo."

Justin chortled, gums showing, "Bano! Ibubu naman 'eh, hindi Ibobo. Ang cute kaya?"

"Justin naman, magsusuggest nalang 'eh…" Josh complained. But in his head, the name 'Ibubu' actually sounded cute. It perfectly fit the cow-puppy's endearing exterior. He bows his head to press a kiss on the pup's head, testing the name out, "Ibubu, uwi na tayo?"

The sight of the usually fired-up fierce Josh, all soft with a puppy, had Justin's heart swelling, even more so when the older took the name he suggested despite complaining earlier. He didn't realize that he's been missing Josh; they haven't been together for a while now, and the other didn't even wait for him to go to school this morning, nor has Josh replied to his last text. There was something in Justin that made him want to apologize, to ask whether his best friend was mad at him, or to offer to spend the rest of the day together after bailing on him yesterday.

But before he could even open his mouth, Stell's voice caught both of their attention, the pair's heads turning to where the hunk was approaching them.

"Justin!" Stell is breathless by the time he gets to them, one hand anchoring on Justin's shoulder as he catches his breath, smiling when he finally straightens up and offers a hand to Josh, "Hi! I'm Stell. I don't think nag-meet na tayo before."

Oh. So Hercules finally has a name. Josh motions to the sleeping dog in his arms, offering a smile back instead, "Ah. I'm Josh. Justin's uhh… friend."

"Cool," Stell's hand comes back down, "Ang cute naman ng dog mo. Anong name?"

"Ibubu."

"Ibubu! Ang cute. Baby Ibubu. Hiii," Stell fondly exclaimed, "Ang lalim ng tulog niya. Parang baby."

Josh blinks, taken aback. He didn't expect that the Hercules-wann— Stell would be energetic and friendly like this, "Uh, haha. Yeah," his eyes shift to Justin, "Jah, siguro baka mauna na ko."

"Macocommute mo ba si Ibubu?"

"Baka maglakad nalang ako."

"Malayo. Kawawa naman 'yung aso," Justin frowns, thinking for a second, "Gusto mo ipa-suyo kita kay Ken? Dadaan naman 'yun sa may sakayan ng tricycle papunta satin. Pwede ka niya siguro ihatid hanggang 'dun."

"Nakakahiya naman. Hindi kami close," Josh's protest already fell on deaf ears as Justin was already typing out a message to the man before he could even protest.

In Justin's head, the least he can do right now is make it easier for Josh to come home. It slipped his mind that he promised Stell that they would buy paint today. The thought of bailing on Josh once again left an ugly feeling in his stomach; he needed to make it up to him soon.

"Okay lang 'yun. Ako na bahala sakanya," Justin assured.

-‘๑’-

11:25 PM, the clock reads.

Justin didn't expect that Stell would drag him to dinner after shopping. Surprisingly, he was enjoying his time with the energetic ray of sunshine who seemed to have taken a liking to him. Everyone warned him that Stell was some kind of player who would just toy with him, but the company he's provided had actually been pleasant for the most part.

He couldn't help but worry about Josh, though. The brief encounter they had earlier was cut short with Stell arriving, and he wasn't even able to introduce them to each other properly. He missed him, unabashedly. Josh hasn't even talked to him about his project's progress like he used to. For some reason, there was a feeling in his gut that told him that Josh might be upset with the way they hadn't spent time together lately. He saw it when Josh wouldn't even offer Stell a proper, friendly introduction like he does with most people.

A very selfish part of him was pleased with this thought, as much as they hadn't been together lately, Josh really was important to Justin. There's a sense of relief when he thinks that Josh would be burning with envy over him, that Justin was just as important. His best friend had never been the one to be open about such feelings, so it would be nice to know if Josh missed him, too.

If Justin hurried up, maybe Josh would still be awake, he thinks. He was able to buy a couple of toys and dog supplies for Ibubu— a peace offering. This would be the first time that Josh would ever have a pet, and he was actually already endeared by the puppy just from seeing it once. Plus, he was the one who named it! So they technically both own the little pup, kind of like co-parents.

With him smiling, already playing it in his head how Josh would react to his gift, he was about to turn to Josh's door when it unexpectedly opened to let out a tall figure. He heard Josh's voice bid the figure goodnight before shutting the door again.

There was an awkward pause as the person also looked at Justin in surprise, as if shocked that Justin was there.

"Ngayon ka lang nakauwi, Jah?"

"Bakit andito ka pa, Ken?"

They both said simultaneously.

It was Ken who spoke first, a sheepish smile on his lips as he nodded his head back to gesture back to Josh's door, "Hinatid ko na kasi 'yung kaibigan mo hanggang dito tapos napilit niya na ko mag-dinner 'din. Ambait pala niya? Akala ko mayabang 'eh."

Justin looked confused, "Dinner? Hanggang ganitong oras?"

"Pinakita niya 'din 'yung designs niya sakin para sa collection niya. Hindi niya pala alam na nagtatake 'din ako ng subjects sa Fashion Design," Ken looked more and more giddy to talk about his time with Josh, "Halos same pala kami ng style. Bakit hindi mo sinasabi sakin?"

"Bakit ko sasabihin sayo?"

Ken must've thought Justin cracked a joke with the way he laughed and nudged his shoulder in response, "You're a terrible wingman. Ikaw? Bakit ngayon ka lang? Yiee. Ginabi ka kay Stell 'no?"

Wingman? Since when did Justin become a wingman?

"Hindi. Nag-dinner lang 'din kami," Justin cleared, "Pauwi ka na ba? May ibibigay lang ako kay Josh 'eh."

"Bukas na 'yan," Ken suddenly protested, manhandling the other by turning him around and walking with him off of Josh's doorway, "Matutulog na 'din daw si Josh. Kanina pa inaantok. Wag mo na istorbohin."

The way Ken was acting left a bitter taste in Justin's mouth. They've literally only been together alone for the first time today, so why was he acting like he knew Josh more than Justin did?

"Tell me," Ken started, "Kamusta na progress mo kay Stell?"

"Ha? Walang ganun. Nag-dinner lang talaga kami."

"You're hopeless," Ken dramatically sighed, playfully pushing Justin away as he was turning to walk back to his car, "Ay, Jah, may itatanong pala ako."

Justin stares at him, noting that the other suddenly looks bashful, "Oh?"

"Yang friend mo. Si Josh," Ken's eyes seem not to meet his completely, "Is he like… Is he single?"

In the back of his mind, Justin wished he had just booked a taxi for Josh earlier instead.

Chapter Text

First off, just to clarify, the reason for Josh's hair dyeing was definitely not because Justin found colored hair cool. Josh had a new vision he was working on, and it was only appropriate that, along with his style change, he would change something with himself, too.

At least, that's what he chose to believe.

"Bakit ang aga mo gising, Josh? Sunday ngayon, " his mom was seated at the dining table, weary eyes pointed at Josh as she absentmindedly stirred her coffee cup, "Pulang-pula 'yang buhok mo 'ah."

Josh's lips curl into a frown. It was evident that she was up all night again, catching up on work. He never liked the way she dealt with writing binges (something he had unknowingly inherited whenever he's on a design binge too), with the way she forgets to eat and sleep, then ends up leaving Josh dealing with the consequences. Ignoring the quip about his hair, he works on brewing a cup of coffee for himself as well, replying with, "Madami akong gagawin ngayon. May gusto ka ba pang-tanghalian? Isasabay ko na pag lumabas ako. Pati si Ibubu, bibilhan ko na 'din ng dog food."

The pup, curled up underneath his mom's foot, raised his head to look at Josh like he understood what he was saying.

"Dog food? Wag na. Nagdala ata si Jah kagabi. Pina-iwan niya nalang sakin."

"Si Jah?" Josh's movements pause, turning his head towards his mom, "Kagabi? Anong oras?"

"Late na 'din 'eh. Ayaw ka nga niya ipatawag," her tone carried a sense of skepticism, like she was confused about something, "Magka-away ba kayo, nak?"

"Ha? Hindi 'ah! Bakit naman kami mag-aaway? Parang bata naman," he sputtered out.

"Aba ewan ko sainyo! Mother's instinct lang naman," she stood up to approach him, hand coming up to ruffle his hair, "Nag-pula ka pa ng buhok. Halatang may pinagdadaanan."

"Ma," he complained with a whine as he swatted her hand away, "Saan niyo nilagay 'yung dala niya?"

The gift Justin had left was obviously a peace offering: two whole bags of puppy food, treats, food & water bowls, a leash, dog toys, and even a black dog collar with decorative notches. Aside from the number of items in it, what made the sentiment even more evident was a note stuck just outside the paper bag, a doodled miniature Justin with monkey ears, complete with a speech bubble that said, "Peace offering po. Sorry hindi kita nasamahan last time! Huhuhu :("

As he read the note, Josh felt some shame about the way he's been thinking about Justin lately. The childish jealousy that he let fester in his chest for the past few days. Clearly, his best friend was still thinking about him, as always— Justin even made sure that he got home comfortably last night with Ibubu. He even, surprisingly, enjoyed talking to Ken. With a sigh, he realized he should also make it up with Justin. Even if that meant putting up with Stell.

[June 20th, 8:03 AM josh 🐹: good morning. thank u sa dog food :)]

[June 20th, 8:03 AM josh 🐹: gusto mo dito maglunch samin? puntahan mo din si ibubu]

-‘๑’-

The delightful aroma of tinola filled the humble Santos' dining space. Justin was sitting on the floor, playing with Ibubu, while Josh set the table. It wasn't unusual for Justin to have meals over at Josh's. In fact, there were certain days when he would specifically crave the older's cooking, a secret second talent of Josh's that he wished he also had.

"Ambebe. Antukin 'ka?" Justin coos as he raises the puppy to his head level to rub noses with it, "Ang cute cute mo naman."

"Jah, kain na," Josh called out, not without stealing a few glances at the endearing sight of his best friend and pup, "Tigilan mo nga 'yan si Ibubu. Hindi 'yan lalaki pag laging binubuhat."

"Ah, so lagi 'kang binubuhat 'non?"

"Sige, bwisitin mo ko para malason kita."

"Pikon," Justin chuckled, finally standing up to take a seat at the dining table, "Wooow~ Tinola for the rainy season."

"Hm, masarap 'yan," Josh pours a glass of water for Justin before sitting down across from him, "Kain ka ng madami."

Justin had already started eating, not even needing to be told that the dish was delicious, when he didn't even doubt Josh's cooking at all. "Oo nga pala," he suddenly said, bringing his attention back to Josh, who looked up at once, "Ang ganda ng buhok mo. Bagay sa'yo."

Taken by surprise with the compliment, Josh felt his cheeks go warm, clearing his throat before replying with a simple, "Thanks."

In that moment, it felt like the old Josh and Justin again. The usual scene during weekends, where they talk about each other's lives over food that Josh made, food that he cooked and prepared with Justin in mind. What set their bond apart from others was the fact that they knew each other in a way that time has nurtured, through bright days and the not-so-good ones, in countless small moments that all lead up to them knowing one another down to the details that others might overlook. It's in the way that Josh didn't include any sayotes in Justin's bowl because the younger wasn't fond of it, it's in the way that Justin picked the collar he did because the design screamed Josh. It was an effortless knowing that was shaped by memories and mistakes.

"Jah," Josh started, trying to sound as normal as he could.

"Mhm?"

"Ano… uhm. Boyfriend mo ba 'yung Stell?"

Justin looks up at Josh, "Uy, hindi 'ah," the suddenness of his own answer surprising him.

"Ano 'yun? Nanliligaw?"

The question hung there for a moment, making each clink and clatter of their utensils louder than it seemed.

"Hindi," Justin reiterated, "Parang ano lang… getting to know each other. Casual lang."

"Ah."

Josh waited for Justin to say something else. For him to maybe talk more about Stell, maybe tell him how they met, or if Stell was treating him good so far. But the other was oddly quiet about it, not willing to overshare without doubt to Josh like he used to. The feeling was foreign; Josh wasn't sure how to reach out to Justin again when it felt like he wasn't welcome to this part of the other's life.

But if it were for Justin, he would try to put up with it. Josh comforted himself with the fact that Justin wasn't drifting away from him; it was just change. Justin was maturing, and there were parts of his life that he didn't share with Josh.

And that was okay.

-‘๑’-

"Pinaulit sayo ni Sir 'yan, Josh?"

Josh's shoulders slumped at Pablo's question. It was already embarrassing enough to stitch the wrong pieces of cloth together, even more so when the instructor made him redo the whole garment.

"Oo," he grumbled.

As punishment for his mistake, his lunch break is now being spent on finishing the garment before his next class, the instructor reprimanding him for being aloof so early in the morning. Josh wasn't sure why he wasn't in his best element as well. Ever since that talk with Justin, he told himself he wouldn't be affected by the whole thing anymore. And he wasn't. He didn't feel bitterness when he thought about Justin together with that hunk, or when he thought about Stell knowing more about Justin than him, or when he pictured them getting closer and closer until Justin wouldn't hang out with Josh anymore…

None of that at all!

But his focus did feel slightly swayed.

Nevertheless, Josh was ready to accept whatever the future brings for them him. His mind was set on perfecting his sewing to ensure that his collection would turn out the way he wanted it to be. They only had a month left before they needed to present it at the upcoming school fair.

While he kept his attention on the garment that he was working on, he failed to notice that Justin and his friends had already taken their seats at the table across from him.

"Busy?" Justin asked, snapping the older out of his concentration.

Josh immediately straightens up, eyes roving over Justin, Ken, and another guy whose name he didn't remember, "Uy, andyan pala kayo."

"Focused na focused ka 'eh," Justin chuckled before pushing a bottle of orange juice towards Josh.

"Thanks."

Unbeknownst to the pair, Ken, who was watching the exchange, was quietly gathering his nerves to say something that he had been practicing all night long. ("Josh, gusto mo ba ko samahan sa— parang ang formal naman… Josh, nanalo ako ng tickets sa amusement park— anong pake niya? Bakit ko pa sinasabi 'yun? Aagh!")

Ken cleared his throat loud enough to catch the attention of the table. Even Pablo, whose nose was buried in his sketchbook, looked up to listen to what the tan-skinned guy was about to say.

"Nanalo ako," he said.

There was a second of silence among everyone before Josh took pity on Ken, putting on a small smile as he asked, "Wow. Nice. Saan?"

"Ano… nanalo ako ng tickets sa amusement park."

"Ah," Josh slowly nodded, "Congrats."

Ken cursed himself inside his head, all that practicing just to end up sounding like he was casually boasting to everyone that he won something, "I mean. Uh. Are you free?"

"Ako, Ken, free. Pwede ako sumama?" The guy-whose-name-Josh-didn't-remember suddenly piped up, which almost immediately earned a light shove away from Ken, who now directed his body toward Josh only.

"Dalawa lang 'yung tickets ko," he immediately cleared up, "Josh, pwede mo ba ko samahan? This Saturday?"

"Oh," Josh replied, looking like he expected the invite to be the very last thing Ken would say, "Ewan ko. Hindi pa ko sure 'eh. Baka may gagawin ako this Saturday. Saka tayong dalawa lang? Nakakahiya naman."

"Isasama ko si Mo!" Ken persisted (Oh, so his name is Mo), pulling on Mo's arm, "Para tatlo tayo. Ako na magbabayad ng ticket."

"Uhm, hindi ko talaga sure, Ken…" Josh still hesitated as he trailed off, looking to Justin for help, who was now suddenly appearing disinterested with the whole thing, "Pero I'll consider it."

(Later that night, Josh did end up saying "yes" after Ken informed him that Justin was indeed coming along with them.

This, of course, is the result of Ken begging Justin to come so Josh would agree.

And Justin, of course, only came because Ken promised to pay for his ticket, and he could even invite Stell to come along. It wasn't because he didn't want Josh and Ken to be alone. Not that.)

Chapter Text

In the end, Mo couldn't come because he apparently needed to attend some dance workshop.

"Tayong apat lang? Sayang naman 'yung isang friend niyo," Stell, all smiles, stated.

The amusement park outing ended up looking like a double date with just them four. Out of all of them, it was Ken who was most pleased with this outcome, as it meant Justin would need to attend to Stell, and he would be able to solo Josh all along. It was a bright, sunny day— just perfect for a day in the amusement park. The crowds were even smaller than expected for a weekend, which meant there wouldn't be a problem with lines.

"Maybe mas better if maghiwalay nalang tayo?" Ken immediately suggested, holding onto Josh's hand to gently tug him by his side, "To cover more ground. Tapos mag-meet up nalang tayo dito after?"

It didn't escape Justin's watchful gaze that Ken was quick to become overly familiar with Josh. He didn't even know why he felt so conflicted when he gave Ken his blessing to pursue his best friend anyway. Josh was quite the looker, for sure; it wasn't even the first time that someone tried to court the stubborn designer. But maybe Justin just didn't vibe with the way Ken was speeding things up.

"Okay lang sainyo 'yun, Jah?" asked Josh, head slightly tilted to the side.

It was also unfair that Josh obviously put effort into his look today with his styled red hair, brown leather jacket, and black sleeveless shirt getup. He didn't even bother doing this when it was only him and Justin. The younger couldn't help but think that there was a bit too much effort being put into looking good for a date with a guy Josh technically just met— hell, Josh only knew Ken as "Moreno" last week!

"Okay lang," Justin nodded, "Meet up nalang mamaya."

"Nice," Ken spoke up, visibly pleased. He moves his hand from holding Josh's to bringing his arm around the smaller's waist, "Balikan nalang namin kayo mamaya, ha? Una na kami."

With the way Justin watched the pair's retreating backs with an expression like someone had taken a dump in front of him, Stell couldn't help but feel awkward with how everything was turning out to be. He slowly brought up his hand to poke Justin on the shoulder, a sympathetic smile on his lips, "Okay ka lang?"

Justin slightly perks up, turning to look at Stell, "Ah. Oo naman."

"Hindi halata 'ah," Stell gently takes his hand, "Gusto mo malaman ano itsura mo?"

"Ano?"

"Itsurang nagseselos."

Dumbfounded, Justin couldn't believe what he heard from Stell for a moment, his features contorting into an expression of disbelief as he forced out a chuckle, "Ha?"

With a sigh, Stell glances at his watch before looking back up at Justin, "Siguro uuwi nalang ako."

"Ha? Teka, Stell—"

"Oh my god! Jin-chan?!"

Used to people calling him by his lookalike idol's name, Justin unconsciously turns around, spotting that a small group of pre-teen girls were now gawking at him ("Jin-chan! 'yung sa Manbou! OMG, siya nga! Sinong kasama niya?"). Before Justin could even protest, the group’s chatter had already drawn curious onlookers. Strangers were now glancing over, phones in hand, clearly mistaking him for someone worth a selfie or an autograph—just moments from swarming in with mistaken excitement. In a hasty decision, he held onto Stell's hand tightly and started running.

-‘๑’-

"Balik pa tayo! Isa pa," Josh demanded, arms crossed against his chest as he kept a furrowed brow look at Ken.

Ken, who was now holding onto the bench like his life depended on it, refused to even look at Josh, "Tama na! Nahihilo na ko!"

"Tatlong beses palang tayo nakakasakay?! Weak mo naman!"

God, if Josh wasn't cute, he would've told him off by now, Ken thought.

Ken shook his head, "Ayoko na 'don! Susukahan na kita."

"Killjoy mo naman," Josh grumbled, sitting down beside Ken.

Just as the pair were catching their breath for a while, two teenage girls walked past them, giggling about spotting Jin from Manbou sneaking around with a hunky model in the park. It didn't take a lot for Josh and Ken to realize that they were talking about their friends.

"Gagi, si Jah siguro 'yon," Ken laughed.

Did Stell look that good? Were they really mistaking him for a model?

"Baka," Josh replied, a bit solemn compared to the other's reaction.

"Siguro umalis na sila? Ayaw naman siguro madumog ni Jah."

"Mhm," Josh brushed it off, not wanting to think about whatever the other two were up to. He was here to have fun. "Okay ka na ba?" he asked Ken, "Sige, iba nalang sakyan natin."

"Yes!"

"Doon tayo sa Jet Coaster!"

No! Ken thought.

-‘๑’-

On the other hand, Justin and Stell found refuge from the swarming mob by getting inside the Ferris wheel. The silence that hung between them was thick, especially right after Stell pointed out the obvious. In all honesty, Justin felt horrible. It really was an asshole move for him to drag Stell all the way here just for him to act all constipated about Ken taking Josh out. He could only regret in silence as he watched Stell look out the gondola's window.

"Alam mo," Stell suddenly spoke up, "Nakalimutan ko na kamukha mo nga pala si Jin. Kaya talaga kita kinausap kasi bias ko 'yun 'eh," a sheepish smile grew on Stell's lips, "To think, 'yun din 'yung reason bakit nakikipag-close ako sayo ng una. Pero now… ikaw nalang si Justin. I actually do care now."

Justin couldn't find the words to say, heartbeat thumping out of his chest as the small space they were sharing only heightened the sincerity of Stell's words. He couldn't even admit the truth to himself; what more would it mean if he said it out loud?

"Si Ken…" he started, "Gusto niya ata si Josh. Tinanong niya pa nga ako 'kung okay lang sakin tapos sabi ko bahala siya. Hindi ko alam ba't ko sinabi 'yun. Hindi 'din naman okay sakin."

"Obviously," Stell held back a snort, "Feeling ko stubborn tayo pareho."

"Stubborn?"

"Oo, too stubborn to admit what we actually like."

Justin frowned, "Iniisip mo gusto ko si Ken?"

Stell could only close his eyes and breathe in for a moment, calming himself down before deciding to approach this differently, "Gets naman kita. Alam mo, meron 'din naman talaga akong nagugustuhan. Talagang… feeling ko lang I haven't explored enough. So hindi ko muna siya pinursue. Akala ko kasi if tumuloy ako dito sa Manila, mas magiging masaya ako kasi mas madami akong makikilala. What if andito pala talaga 'yung tao para sakin? What if may gusto lang ako sakaniya kasi siya lang kaibigan ko? Gusto ko mag-try. Natakot akong magpa-kampante," Stell pauses, seemingly forming his words, "Pero ikaw, Justin, I feel like it's different with you."

Justin's heart felt heavy. As Stell spoke his truth, Justin could feel his own denial slowly fading. It was a bittersweet thing to acknowledge his own feelings, that beneath his poorly masked jealousy was a sense of wanting for his best friend. How had he not noticed until now?

"Sorry," Justin mumbled.

"Sorry?"

"Kung alam ko lang 'yung nararandaman ko, hindi na sana kita nadamay, diba?"

Stell stifles his laugh, shaking his head before giving Justin's knee a soft squeeze, "Grabe? Ang OA. Akala mo naman pinakasalan mo ko at mahal na mahal kita. Poging pogi ka ba sa sarili mo, Justin?"

"Hindi!" Justin suddenly shouted, defending himself from the accusation.

"Okay lang. Mukhang 'di mo 'din alam."

Truthfully, maybe Justin really did need someone else to help him spell out his feelings. The things that he can't exactly confide to Josh about were about… Josh. For the longest time, he really thought that he would be fine just being friends with him. After all, what would change if he and Josh dated? They would still do the same things, probably talk and know the same things about each other— all of those they already do. But at the event of even the slightest competition, the obvious truth became impossible to ignore; he was never content at all, he had always wanted more.

As the ride circled to a stop, Justin and Stell got off the Ferris wheel to walk back to the entrance of the park. It was a relief that the mob who mistook him for Jin was now gone, but it was better to be safe by not walking around so much anymore.

"Justin, gusto mo ba hanapin natin sila? Para makausap mo na 'din si Ken," Stell suggested.

"Bakit ko naman siya kakausapin?"

"Sabihin mo sayo si Josh tapos palayuin mo na siya."

Justin's face felt warm at the implication that Josh was his, but the thought of such a dramatic confession wasn't his style at all.

Stell continued, "Or gusto mo ako nalang magsabi sakanya. Alam mo, cute 'din naman si Ken 'eh. Feeling ko kaya na ng powers ko 'to."

Before Justin could reply, a hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder from behind, surprising both him and Stell as the person exclaimed, "Kuya, ikaw po si Jin-chan?"

"Ken! Ano ba 'yan!" Justin cried out.

Ken's grin only widened at both of their apparent shock, even pointing at Stell before saying, "Tas ikaw po 'yung model diba?"

"Para 'kang tanga— wait, nasan si Josh?"

"Ah. Ayun nasa Jet Coaster. Mag-isa."

"Ha? Bakit hindi mo sinamahan?" Justin asked, confused as to why Ken would leave his date behind.

"Alam mo ba 'kung ilang beses na kami sumakay sa Jet Coaster? Pito! Pitong beses na! Parang hihiwalay na 'yung kaluluwa ko!"

With his newfound feelings, Justin couldn't help but get pissed with how Ken was acting— he scored a date with Josh, and he couldn't even keep up with the other's daredevil attitude? Justin grabbed Ken's sleeve, pulling him closer as his voice rose, "Dapat sinamahan mo siya! Ikaw ang nagyaya sakaniyang lumabas diba?!"

Defensive, Ken's brows furrowed in annoyance, "Hindi ko na nga kaya! Bakit mo ko sinisigawan?!"

Justin shoved Ken away before running off to where the Jet Coaster was, worried that Josh would get off the ride only to find out he was deserted by his so-called date, leaving a very confused Ken behind.

Stell, who resorted to watching everything unfold in front of him, finally decided to speak out, "Ken, okay ka lang?"

-‘๑’-

After riding the coaster a couple of more times, Josh stood confused and alone at the spot where he had left Ken to wait for him. Tsk, weak talaga, he thought. With all the muscles and bling the man had, Josh thought Ken would at least be up to par with his antics. Who knew a motorcycle-riding bad boy type like Ken would cower against extreme rides?

With the crowd beginning to grow thicker, Josh abandoned all hope of finding his group. It only added difficulty to the situation when he realized that he had forgotten his power bank back at home, but with Justin and Stell probably doing god-knows-what in god-knows-where, and Ken literally leaving him, there probably wasn't any problem if Josh just decided to go solo for the rest of the day.

Besides, he was incredibly thirsty.

He was already in line to buy himself a drink when he heard Justin's voice calling out to him.

"Josh!" Justin called out, panting when he stopped in front of him, "Nahanap 'din kita!"

"Jah?" That's weird. He thought Justin would've gone with Stell by now to avoid the crowd.

"Sabi ko— pant Sabi ko kay Ken! Wag ka niya iiwanan— pant!"

"Kalma ka lang," Josh pulled him aside, hand gently rubbing on Justin's back, "Gusto 'mong tubig?"

"Hindi na," Justin shook his head. He catches his breath for a few more minutes before standing up straight, looking at Josh with an expression the other couldn't quite pinpoint, "Ang tingkad ng buhok mo. Nahanap kita kasi ikaw lang 'yung mukhang exclamation point."

"Baliw," Josh held his chuckle, patting the other's back a little bit harsher.

After recovering, Justin took Josh's hand, intertwining their fingers, which took the other by surprise. Josh felt himself being tugged away, walking hand-in-hand with Justin as he kept speaking, "Hayaan mo 'yung Ken na 'yon. Iniwan ka ba naman? Inis na inis nga ako. Sabi ko sakanya dapat sinamahan ka niya sa trip mo kasi diba siya nag-invite sayo dito?"

Justin kept speaking, but Josh couldn't find it in himself to focus on his words. He didn't even know what Justin was mad about. Everything just felt fuzzier as he stared at their hands, joined tightly together.

Josh wonders if Justin knew… that this was the first time that they had held hands again since elementary.