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Running Out Of Breath

Summary:

the omegaverse fic in which Josh is an alpha crybaby, Tyler is an omega with his shit nearly together, and everyone else is watching them both hopelessly dance around the topic of facing deeply unresolved mutual feelings.
Or, Tyler hits a full heat without suppressants and Josh takes care of him. And when Josh has a Tyler-induced rut immediately after, Tyler's the one taking care of him.
Fortunately, they both have a lot of time and stamina.

Chapter 1: 1. In which Tyler hits a full heat, and Josh cries about Adore Delano. Again.

Chapter Text

“You sure you’ll be alright getting home, sweetie? It’s no trouble for me, your father or one of the girls to give you a lift.”

“Yeah, Mom, I’ll be fine. We’re not staying up late, alright?”

Josh looked up, and nearly walked into a pole. Shit. He hated trying to simultaneously walk and talk on the phone. He was too clumsy for that junk.

 

“Well, you just give one of us a call if you need a ride. If not, I’ll assume you’re either staying at Jesse’s place or you found your own way home.”

“Yeah, sure, Mom. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, alright?”

“Alright. Have fun tonight, Josh!”

“Will do, Mom. Goodnight!”

 

Josh glanced around; he wasn’t far from Jesse’s, maybe five minutes.

Jesse had invited him over for video games and cat pats and, well, whatever it was they’d get up to at Jesse’s house. Sometimes it was just video games, sometimes they’d put together elaborate Snapchat stories and giggle at fan reactions on Twitter. Sometimes they just drank juice and talked, caught up on each other’s lives; it was getting harder and harder to do that these days, with Josh on tour most of the time, and Jesse with his own music projects and occasional touring adventures.

So when he and Tyler got breaks like these, Josh enjoyed just getting to catch up with friends, which included Jesse. And he couldn’t say he wasn’t looking forward to harassing Jesse’s cat.

He was just wondering if Crybaby Lovewonder would let him balance his snapback on his head (that’d make a hilarious Snap), when a figure came lurching around the corner.

 

Something about the figure was familiar enough that it caught his eye; and if that hadn’t picked up his notice, then the figure’s erratic, limping pace did.

He watched the figure hurry closer, and his eyes widened.

 

“Tyler?” he exclaimed, grabbing Tyler’s arm when the man came close enough. To his surprise, Tyler hissed and wrenched his arm away, glaring at Josh.

Josh realised that Tyler was covered in blood, horror dropping ice-cold into his stomach.

“Tyler, what happened? Are you okay?” Josh asked.

He had a lot of questions right now – wasn’t Tyler meant to be catching up with his ex-girlfriend Jenna, wasn’t the cafe where they were gonna meet up on the other side of town, weren’t they supposed to go for dinner afterwards and that was why he hadn’t been able to come with him to see Jesse – but the main one was about his safety. So Josh asked that first.

 

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Tyler snapped. “Not my blood. Someone else’s.”

“Why are you covered in someone else’s blood?” Josh demanded, and then something that he’d not quite registered yet suddenly answered his question.

He took a step back.

“You’re in heat,” he realised. “Is – is that an alpha’s blood?”

 

“Yeah, some dickhead tried to drag me into an alleyway,” Tyler said, shuddering. “He didn’t get the chance to do anything, don’t worry. I just – I don’t know, self-preservation instincts kicked in or whatever. I just really need to get home, Josh.”

 

Josh decided not to ask what Tyler meant by ‘self-preservation instincts’. Whatever the case, he felt relieved nothing had happened.

“Let me walk you,” Josh said. “You can’t go home by yourself like this.”

 

Tyler glared at him, then sighed, relenting. “Yeah. Fine. Just – please don’t touch me, Josh. Not right now.”

 

Josh nodded, and fell into step next to Tyler. He quickly tapped out a message to Jesse apologising for bailing and asking for a raincheck, and walked silently next to Tyler.

He knew he shouldn’t have been surprised Tyler wouldn’t want physical contact – understandably, Tyler was probably wary of alphas right now, and hell, he’d just been assaulted – but something stung in his chest anyway. He silently told himself not to be so stupid.

It wasn’t like he was clueless about Tyler – he’d known his friend was an omega since they’d met. And Tyler had known Josh was an alpha for just as long.

But Tyler usually took suppressants, didn’t he? They were a continuous-dose type – most suppressants killed the heat entirely, but the user had to have a full heat every few months. Tyler’s suppressants were designed to be not strong enough to suppress it entirely, just enough to make it bearable, because apparently Tyler had really wild heats and a full heat every few months would be too much for him. Half-heats allowed him to take the suppressants continuously, and thus avoid having to go through a full heat at all.

Josh rarely had to be confronted with Tyler in full heat. He knew all about the medicated heats – for about a week, Tyler would be sluggish and feverish, like he had a flu, and frequently slink away for, uh, private time.

But he hadn’t dealt with Tyler in a full heat, and he was starting to see why Tyler preferred to avoid them.

Tyler was a mess, and it wasn’t just the assailant’s blood – he was jumpy and nervous, flinching at every perceived contact. His breathing was ragged, movements forced, and was hunched over in a weird way that made Josh wonder if he was trying to hide a raging boner.

He looked uncomfortably like he was having a panic attack – probably not an attack, just the effects of the heat, but it looked awful all the same. Josh swallowed hard, wishing he could at least rub Tyler’s shoulder, something, anything to help.

Meanwhile, Josh was a little amazed he could still think straight. Along with everything else, another sign of Tyler’s heat was the incredible scent oozing off him, clouding Josh’s head.

He’d been around omegas in heat before, and he knew how to control himself – he was a decent human being, god dammit. Decent human beings, alpha or not, did not use ‘base instincts’ as an excuse to do awful things. And besides, he was used to it enough that he wasn’t usually bothered by the scent of passing omegas.

But Tyler was something else. The scent poured off him, and it was stronger (and sweeter? Headier? Josh wasn’t sure, but he liked it) than Josh had encountered.

 

It seemed other people had noticed, and Josh wasn’t surprised Tyler just wanted to get home and out of the public. They received stares from several passers-by, including a couple of alphas whose stares were just a little too uncomfortably intense. Josh stared them down right back, and they slunk off. There was no way Tyler could have safely walked home by himself.

 

The walk home was quiet, and uncomfortable, and Josh dutifully forced himself to think of kittens being massacred and alien conspiracy theorists being found mysteriously dead, and anything else that would keep his mind off the uncomfortable tightness in his own jeans, and the weird aggressiveness Tyler was emanating.

His chest ached. We’ve been best friends for years, he wanted to say. I’d never do anything to hurt you.

But he didn’t. He reminded himself it was nothing personal, and kept walking.

 

When they reached Tyler’s place – so often empty, as their touring schedule was so brutal, but today all the lights were on and it looked positively cosy – Tyler’s shoulder’s actually slumped in relief. He shakily unlocked the door, and breathed a huge sigh as they entered.

“Thanks, dude,” Tyler said, glancing up at Josh. “I owe you one.”

 

“It’s no big deal at all,” Josh said, shrugging. “Just wanted you home safe, that’s all. Heats are a bitch.”

 

Tyler giggled nervously, rubbing his hand over his face. “Yeah. I shouldn’t even be having a full one, but I ran out of suppressants before we got home – finished my last repeat while we were in Germany – and I just didn’t think to see the doc, get a refill, I guess? Fucking stupid.”

 

“Yeah, well, it’s so easy to get disorganised on tour,” Josh said, walking into the kitchen. “It’s easy to forget stuff like that, so don’t worry about it. Just unfortunate, you know? Don’t beat yourself up about it.” He filled a glass of water and passed it to Tyler, who gulped it down like a marathon runner twenty miles into a race.

 

“Easy for you to say,” Tyler grumbled. “You get ruts, not heats. You don’t even need suppressants for those.”

 

Tyler had a point – ruts were, as far as Josh could tell, much easier to handle than heats. For him, ruts usually involved heightened emotions and sensitivity, but nothing he couldn’t handle. A more frequent jack-off schedule and a strict avoidance of mushy rom-coms usually sufficed.

As far as he knew, ruts only became significant when you were in a relationship. Ruts centered on the needs of the mate, an alpha’s body reacting to the omega’s hormones and pheromones.

Since Josh was currently single, his body wasn’t looking for any particular omega’s hormones to react to. So, his ruts were pretty lowkey.

Even when he’d had an omega girlfriend, he hadn’t noticed a significant difference. She stayed on suppressants, so while he’d noticed a heightened libido while her heats were supposed to be happening, it hadn’t been anything major. And then they’d broken up because of the touring, and he’d returned to jacking off three times a day during a rut.

And, so what if his libido spiked a bit during Tyler’s half-heats? So what if he got a little more blubbery than usual in eliminations or season finals of whatever Netflix reality show they were watching on the tour bus? So what if he found himself getting hopelessly teary whenever Tyler gave him a hug, or called him his best friend, or praised something he did in an interview?

Josh knew it was all a sign that maybe, probably, he had some majorly unresolved feelings that he needed to deal with. Getting all alpha-ish during your best friend’s medicated heat wasn’t normal. But for as long as Tyler only called Josh his friend and never gave any sign that he might return Josh’s feelings, Josh was going to firmly shove his secret pining into the bottom drawer of his mind and keep it there.

God. He hoped his body wasn’t going to start reacting to Tyler’s heat. That’d be embarrassing at best, friendship-obliterating at worst.

 

“Hey, uh, Josh,” Tyler mumbled. He looked embarrassed. “Can I ask you another huge favour?”

 

“Sure,” Josh said.

 

Tyler chewed his lip. “Can you, uh, stick around for the next week? You don’t need to camp out at mine or anything if you don’t want, just... check on me every now and then, make sure I haven’t died of dehydration or something. Also, um.”

Tyler toed the carpet. “I also just feel kind of safer with you around. Another alpha in the house, and all that. It’s really stressful doing a heat by myself. Like, this isn’t an unsafe area, but I get paranoid, y’know?”

 

Josh smirked. “You want me to stay around and deter any would-be alpha break-and-enterers from sniffing your hormones and pouncing on you while you’re indisposed?”

 

“Something like that,” Tyler mumbled. “Like. It probably wouldn’t ever happen, but y’know.”

“No, that’s fair,” Josh said. “Besides, I think I’d wanna check on you anyway. No use having a band when the lead singer dies during a heat because he forgot to drink water in between jacking off.”

Tyler sniggered, breaking off into laughter. “Yeah, then you’d have to play all the instruments yourself.”

“God forbid – I’d have to actually learn all the lyrics.”

“Forget that, you’d have to learn to rap. Or take Heavydirtysoul off the setlist entirely.”

“I couldn’t do that, the clique would riot.”

 

Tyler chuckled, then sighed. “Thanks, man. For all this.”

 

Josh shrugged, shooting Tyler what he hoped was a reassuring smile. He passed Tyler a damp cloth. “It’s all good, dude. I just hope you don’t mind me depleting your supply of junk food and racking up your Netflix hours.”

 

Tyler laughed, wiping the blood off his hands and face with the cloth. “You don’t have to stay here the whole week,” he said. “I’ll survive if you, y’know, actually wanna see your family.”

 

“No, it’s cool,” Josh said. “I’ll just catch up on RuPaul or something, y’know? And besides, we’ll have to postpone heading into studio anyway, you can’t go in straight after a heat. The label will understand.”

 

Tyler’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Thanks, dude. I really appreciate you doing this.”

 

“Like I said, it’s cool,” Josh said, turning to look through cupboards. “You got any actual food here? I think you might need to eat before your heat really kicks in.”

“True,” Tyler mumbled. He watched Josh rifle through his kitchen uncomfortably. “Um, not really? There’s tons of junk, I guess. Doritos and that.”

“That’s not gonna do,” Josh said, shutting the fridge door. “You need, like, real food. Who knows if you’re gonna be able to eat much this week?”

“I’ll survive,” Tyler mumbled.

“Shh, hold on,” Josh said. “Lemme see what delivery places are open, yeah? I’ll see if we can get Chinese or something. You gotta eat something, dude.”

 

Tyler sighed. “Okay,” he relented, and Josh got to work googling delivery places around the area.

 

An hour later, a delivery guy showed up with enough Chinese food for a small family, and gave Josh a very weird look when he answered the door. Josh flushed. He carried the food inside, and got started on shoving wontons into Tyler’s mouth.

 

“I’m really not hungry,” Tyler protested.

“Yeah, because your hormones are messing you up,” Josh snorted. “When did you last eat, anyway?”

“With Jenna,” Tyler said. “At the cafe. We had lunch. We were gonna have dinner, but I started – like, you could already smell me. Jenna told me to go home.”

“And she didn’t think to go home with you?” Josh asked incredulously. Jenna was a beta, but even then her presence would have been more than enough to deter people from bothering Tyler on his way home. She was a fierce beta, easy to mistake for an alpha, until you got close enough to smell her distinctly un-alpha-like scent.

It seemed distinctly un-Jenna-like to let Tyler go home alone, vulnerable as he was. He’d have thought she’d at least want to give him some company.

“I didn’t let her,” Tyler said. “I thought it’d be fine, I didn’t think it’d start kicking in so quick. She wanted to, but I told her I’d be fine.”

Josh sighed. “You should have let her.”

“I didn’t know that, did I? Shut up. I thought you were on force-feeding duty right now, not berating-me-for-my-bad-choices duty.”

Josh rolled his eyes, and held out another wonton.

 

When Josh was happy with the amount of food that had passed Tyler’s lips, Tyler retreated upstairs. He was looking distinctly less comfortable now, pulling at his still-bloodied clothes and scratching, as if his skin was too sensitive for his hoodie and jeans.

“You’ll stay down here, right?” Tyler asked. “Don’t come upstairs unless you think I need water or something.”

“Sure,” Josh said, flopping onto the couch. “I’ll stay down here unless you need me, alright? Gimme a yell if you do. I’ll be up occasionally with some water, and that’s it.”

 

Tyler nodded, and shuffled upstairs. His scent faded with him, and for the first time since Tyler had appeared on the street, bloody and hormonal, Josh was able to relax.

He groaned and put his head in his hands. He’d just agreed to take care of his best friend. While he was on heat. Whom he was secretly, kind of desperately, in love with.

The next week was going to be rough.

 

Camping out at Tyler’s place proved to be rather uneventful. Josh watched Netflix, slept on the couch, and occasionally went upstairs with a bottle of water, passing it through the door of Tyler’s bedroom.

Each time he opened the door, a wave of smell would wash over Josh like a kick in the guts – of sweat, spunk, and unwashed clothes, and a tantalising scent that was so uniquely Tyler and horrifically strong. It was overwhelming.

Josh would force himself to close the door, go to the downstairs bathroom, and jack off.

Then he’d watch another episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, trying not to think about how guilty he felt for jacking off to the scent of his heat-stricken best friend.

 

The cycle was only broken by the occasional trip to the grocery store for food, or the trip to his house to grab more clothes, or his laptop.

 

Things remained like that until three days into Tyler’s heat, when – in the middle of the season final of season seven – Josh’s anticipation and fervent prayers that Violet Chachki would get crowned (he’d seen the episode five times and still found himself swearing at the television) was broken by a familiar smell and footsteps padding down the stairs.

 

“Josh?”

 

Josh turned around, spotting Tyler on the stairwell.

He looked like a wreck. His hair was sticking up in all directions, there were bags under his eyes, and a red flush spread from his cheeks down his neck and chest. He was swaying a little bit. A heavy blanket was wrapped around him like a cocoon.

“You alright?” Josh asked, immediately mentally cursing at himself for the dumb question – Tyler was clearly not alright. “What’s up, dude?”

 

“Uh, this is a really weird question,” Tyler said, scrubbing his face with one hand. “But, uh. I need lube.”

 

And that’s how Josh found himself at the counter of the adult store downtown, asking for wholesale-sized bottles of lube, and trying really hard not to look embarrassed when the girl behind the counter raised her eyebrow at his request.

“You got a partner in heat, huh?” she asked, dropping three huge bottles on the counter. Josh silently picked them up. “You look pretty put together for an alpha with a partner in heat.”

 

And that’s when Josh promptly burst into tears, and a bewildered adult store shop assistant found herself comforting a burly, tattooed, pierced, pink-mohawk’ed man sobbing while clutching three gallon-sized squirt bottles of lube.

 

“Fucking alphas,” the girl muttered, rubbing Josh’s back. “What’s the problem, dude? Too much sex for you to cope with?”

“He’s not my partner,” Josh burbled, blinking wetly. “He’s my best friend and I can’t help.”

The girl blinked. “Oh,” she said. “Well, okay. No offense, but unless you’re particularly hyperemotional, most people don’t break down in tears over being unable to help their omega friend.”

“Okay, well, I’m kind of in love with him,” Josh admitted, sniffling and wiping his nose. The girl helpfully passed him a tissue.

“Right, now we’re getting somewhere,” the girl said. “You’re all hyperemotional like an alpha with a mate. Only.. he’s not your mate.”

“No,” Josh mumbled. “He’s my best friend.”

“Have you ever, like.. talked feelings?”

“Not really. And, I mean, lately hasn’t exactly been the best time to discuss it.”

“No, I guess that’s, uh, that’s fair.”

Josh rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m really sorry about that. I just – I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, what are you doing currently?” the girl asked.

“Oh, well – he asked me to stay around the house, keep an eye on him,” Josh explained. “He, uh, gets really intense heats. So I said I’d look after him.”

“You’re an alpha looking after, and remaining in close proximity with, an omega in full heat who you’re secretly in love with,” the girl said in disbelief. “Jesus. No wonder you’re a fucking mess.”

“Well, someone has to watch out for him,” Josh said sulkily. “I don’t think he’d even drink water if I wasn’t there to make him. He can’t look after himself right now. I don’t want him to die on me.”

“No, I guess not,” the girl said. “Hey, did he say why he wanted you to look after him?”

“Because I was there, I guess?” Josh said, shrugging. “I took him home when his heat hit. I guess it was easier to ask me, since I was already in his kitchen.”

“Uh-huh,” the girl said. “Okay. But, y’know, it’s generally a pretty good sign if he trusts you enough to take care of him in a heat. Usually people go it alone, or ask another omega if they need looking after. Most folks don’t ask an alpha.”

“I guess,” Josh sniffled. “We are really close friends, though. I’m pretty sure he just sees me as a friend.”

“Okay, well,” the girl mumbled. “I don’t know you or your friend, so I guess I can’t really make any statements. But, uh. If looking after your friend is having this big of an emotional impact for you, maybe call someone else to take over. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Josh mumbled, wiping his nose. “Thanks.”

He went back to Tyler’s house, and did not call someone else to take over. He slid the three bottles of lube into Tyler’s room, went back to his episode of Drag Race, and sobbed like a baby when Violet won.

 

It was almost a relief when Tyler emerged, four days later, showered and blinking and looking like he’d actually slept. His scent had faded and changed, almost back to the normal Tyler smell that Josh was used to.

“Hey, dude,” Tyler said, flopping onto the couch next to Josh. “Is there any food? I’m starving.”

 

Josh cooked them omelettes, and silently thanked God that they’d made it through the week. Seeing Tyler in an almost-normal state was making him feel more normal, too. He felt less like he was on the verge of tears, and actually managed not to cry when Adore Delano quit in the second episode of season two of All Stars.

Things are going to be okay, he told himself. Things will get back to normal. Surely.

 

Chapter 2: In which things heat up significantly, and Josh cries about Jesse's cat

Summary:

YOU'RE SO WELCOME FAM

Chapter Text

“Dude, you made it this time!”

Josh rolled his eyes, and gave Jesse a hug. “Yeah, I made it. I’m sorry I bailed on you last time, dude.”
“It’s all good,” Jesse said, pulling away and ushering Josh into his house. A fluffy white cat meowed loudly, sidling up to Josh’s legs and looking up at him with a mournful expression that was apparently the default expression of Jesse’s beloved cat.

“Hey, Crybaby,” Josh cooed, crouching down to pick up the cat. Crybaby settled into his arms, purring contentedly.

“I love this cat so much,” Josh said, kissing the top of Crybaby’s head. “I kind of wish I could have a cat, but the touring.”

“Yeah, the cat would barely know you,” Jesse said. “Oh well, Crybaby loves you. Just pretend he’s your cat too, while you’re here.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Josh made kissy noises at Crybaby, and Jesse snorted, grinning.

“How’s Tyler going?” Jesse asked. “You bailed because something was up with him, right? Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine now,” Josh said, setting the cat down. Jesse led him to the living room, and the pair settled on the couch.

“He, uh, kind of went into heat,” Josh explained. Jesse’s eyes went wide – a feat, considering Jesse had the biggest baby blues of anyone Josh knew.

“I thought he was on suppressants or something?” Jesse exclaimed. Josh shrugged.

“He ran out on tour,” he explained. “And, uh. I guess it hit him like a ten-ton truck.”

Jesse whistled. “Jesus. That would have been rough.”

 

Jesse was one of those omegas that presented very strongly as an alpha, until you got close enough to smell him properly. Like Tyler, he also stuck to continuous suppressants, also having a particularly rough heat.

Josh had never seen him in full heat, though he’d seen Jesse in plenty of half-heats, shuffling around, clutching his bewildered cat like a safety blanket, and grumbling. Heats seemed to make him especially irritable, which Josh found hilarious considering Jesse’s usual laidback, sunny demeanour.

 

“So, you had to take care of Tyler during his heat?” Jesse said, with a wry grin. “Lucky dude.”

“Hardly,” Josh said, flushing. “Nothing happened. Tyler just thinks of me as a friend, remember. I just kept him hydrated and made sure he didn’t die.”

Jesse groaned. “You’re so disappointing. I don’t think he would have minded if you’d, y’know, helped him out. Brojobs, and all that.”

Josh flushed an even deeper red. “Shut up. And besides, who knows how he would have felt once he got out of heat, though? It’s one thing taking a partner before you go into heat, it’s totally different halfway through your heat when you’re desperate and not thinking straight.”

 

“True,” Jesse said. “And I guess I don’t know Tyler well enough to know if he’s down with that kind of thing. Still, though. You gotta talk to him.”

 

Josh shook his head firmly. “No. What if it makes things weird? What if he feels awkward? Worse, what if he stops trusting me?”

“Why would he stop trusting you?” Jesse asked incredulously.

“I don’t know,” Josh said uncomfortably. “How about ‘hi, I’m your best friend who is also an alpha and also stupidly in love with you. And you’re an omega who gets intense heats where I have to fight with my brain to avoid doing something stupid. But you can totally trust me!’”

“Well, he clearly can,” Jesse snorted. “Considering you took care of him during a full heat and still kept your hands to yourself.”

“He might see it differently if he knew how I felt,” Josh insisted. “Just.. I don’t want to risk it. I’d rather keep him as my best friend and just deal with my feelings quietly, than let him find out and have him never speak to me again.”

“Okay,” Jesse sighed. “I still think you’re making a mistake by not at least seeing if he returns your feelings. And – holy shit, Josh.”

“What?” Josh asked.

 

Jesse stared at him. “You haven’t noticed yet?” he asked. “Jesus. Give it a minute.”
“Give what a minute?” Josh asked, and then he understood.

 

Jesse was weirdly sensitive in the nose, sensing changes in people’s hormones long before they started taking noticeable effect. Now was no exception. Josh’s skin was starting to feel prickly and sensitive, and just thinking about Tyler was making a lump rise in his throat.

 

“For fuck’s sake,” he groaned. “No. Not now. No, no, no. Shit. We’re gonna have to postpone recording for another week.”

 

“Do you think it might have something to do with your unrequited pining for Tyler?” Jesse teased. Josh shot him a dirty look.

“Seriously though,” Jesse said, standing up to head to the kitchen. He filled a glass with water, and brought it back to Josh. “You’re not due a rut for like, two weeks, right?”

 

“Nope,” Josh said. “It’s early. Really fucking early.”

 

“No offense, but I think your body is trying to align itself with Tyler’s cycle, after his heat,” Jesse said. “Which is kind of hilarious, to be honest. You’re so in love with Tyler that your body is physically trying to sync up with him.”

 

“Shut up,” Josh groaned, gulping down the water. Was it him, or was Jesse’s living room really warm? “God. He was gonna come over this afternoon for Smash Brothers, too.”

 

“Call him and postpone,” Jesse suggested. “In the meantime, I’m taking you back home. No offense, but you’re starting to freak my cat out.”

 

Josh glanced over to see Crybaby on the other end of the couch, now hissing with his fur standing on end. Cats were not fans of rutting humans – their pheromones read as aggressive and threatening to the creatures.

Josh blinked.

His heart broke.

He sniffed, and suddenly he was sobbing brokenheartedly on Jesse’s couch, because he’d freaked out Crybaby.

 

“Oh my god,” Jesse groaned. “Jesus christ. I’m taking you home.”

“Y-your cat hates me,” Josh blubbed, scrubbing at his eyes. “He hates me.”

“Crybaby doesn’t hate you, you absolute loser,” Jesse sighed, gently helping Josh off the couch. “I literally don’t know any alphas who get as hyperemotional as you do. C’mon. Off we go.”

 

An hour later, after Jesse had taken Josh home, the doorbell rang.

Josh blinked. Shit. He was not in the kind of state to be answering doorbells. He was standing in the shower, desperately jacking off, because apparently his brain still vividly remembered the smell of Tyler’s scent in heat, and that was apparently enough to fire up his libido beyond what was normal for him even during a rut.

He swore, tugged along his cock a couple more times, and shuddered as he came. Breathing hard, he watched the water drip off his nose as he wondered for the hundredth time why this was happening, and why it was happening now.

The doorbell rang again.

Josh groaned, turned off the water, and stepped out of the shower. He pulled a towel around his waist, and ran to the front door.

 

He opened the door, and his mouth dropped open when he saw Tyler standing in front of him.

 

“W-what are you doing here?” Josh asked.

 

Tyler shrugged awkwardly. “Smash Brothers, remember?” he asked. “Were you in the shower just now?”

 

Josh groaned. “Ahh, shit,” he said. “Um, we’re gonna have to postpone.”

“Why do we – oh,” Tyler said, eyes going wide. He’d evidently picked up on Josh’s scent, which the shower had done little to wash off. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Josh said sheepishly. Fuck – he’d thought Tyler was completely over his heat, but he could still smell very faint traces of Tyler’s pheromones, and it was clouding up his head completely. More than anything he just wanted to drag Tyler into the house and take him.

“I’m really sorry, y-you’re gonna have to go,” Josh said frantically. “I can’t – not like this.”

 

“Wait,” Tyler said. He was chewing his lip curiously, Josh noticed. Josh also noticed how hot Tyler looked biting his lip like that, and holy shit if he didn’t send Tyler away immediately, he was going to get another boner.

“Listen,” Tyler said. “You helped me out while I was in heat, right? Why don’t I return the favour? I owe you big time, dude.”

Josh laughed. “I appreciate it, but I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself during a rut. Like, I usually remember to eat.”

“No, not just that,” Tyler said cautiously. “I, um. I mean, like. Whatever you need.”

Josh blinked, understanding beginning to dawn on him. He blushed furiously.

“Oh god, man, there’s no need,” he babbled. “I’ll be fine. I can – I can take care of it.”

“You sure?” Tyler asked. “Because you’re standing in front of me dripping wet in a towel that it looks like you haven’t even used, and even through the towel I can see you’ve got a massive boner.”

Josh groaned and hid his face in his hands.

“Look,” Tyler said. “I can help. It’ll be fine. Just... dudes helping each other out, yeah?”

“God,” Josh choked out. “If you want to look at it that way, sure.”

Tyler gently pushed past Josh into the house, and Josh closed the door, barely able to believe that he’d just agreed to whatever Tyler was offering. If what Tyler was offering was what he thought he was offering.

 

“Let’s get this off,” Tyler said softly, tugging at Josh’s towel. Shit. He was offering what he thought Tyler was offering.

“N-not yet,” Josh gulped. “This is gonna sound strange, but, uh – can we just cuddle for a second?”

Tyler laughed. “Okay, sure,” he said. He pulled Josh through to the bedroom, pushing him down on the bed, and crawled next to him.

 

Josh sucked in a big gulp of air and wrapped his arms around Tyler. He felt Tyler’s arms slide around his ribcage, and suddenly – finally – he felt the tension in his body beginning to ease, felt the lump in his throat subsiding.

He sighed, nuzzling into Tyler’s neck, breathing in the concentrated scent that emanated from the glands in his throat – the scent glands by the lymph nodes. Breathing it in, he felt his body relax completely, traces of tension and anxiety soothed by the smell. God, it felt nice. Just to be held, and to hold.

He and Tyler had cuddled before, but never when Josh was in rut, or when Tyler was on a half-heat. And never like this.

“I-I’m sorry,” Josh mumbled, and Tyler made a soft shhh-ing noise, reaching one hand up to stroke his hair. Josh just about melted into his palm.

“It’s alright,” Tyler said. “You saw me at the worst of my heat, remember? You’re fine.”

“Isn’t it weird for you though?” Josh asked. “Like, how is this not weird to you?”

“Stop stressing already,” Tyler said. “It’s not weird. I offered. Returning the favour, remember?”

 

Up until that point, Josh had been allowing himself the indulgence of a fantasy that maybe Tyler had come in because he wanted Josh, maybe he offered because he felt the same way about Josh that Josh felt about Tyler. But with those words, he swallowed hard and tried very hard not to cry. Just returning the favour. Nothing else.

Tyler heard Josh sniffle. “That’s right, you get all hyperemotional,” he murmured. “You big baby. C’mere, it’s alright.”

He repositioned them so that he was cradling Josh’s head against his chest, fingers carding gently through his hair in a way that was somehow both soothing and heartbreaking.

 

Josh began to cry.

Again.

 

He sobbed pathetically against Tyler’s chest, tears soaking into his hoodie, aware of both how ridiculous it was for him to be crying, and also of how badly his chest hurt and how sad he was. Shit, apparently he could be lying mostly naked in Tyler’s arms, and still feel heartbroken.

He’d fantasised about stuff like this – Tyler joining him during a rut, or even just regular casual sex. He’d wondered if something like that would be enough – if only having Tyler’s body, if not his heart, would at least fill the void a little.

But even with the fantasy so close to becoming real, he was starting to realise it wasn’t really enough. He wanted all of Tyler, not just returned favours.

Fortunately, Tyler seemed mostly clueless as to the cause of Josh’s distress, continuing to stroke his hair. As long as I don’t say anything, it’ll be fine, Josh assured himself. He tried to shut his mind out, focusing on Tyler’s hands, and voice reverberating through his chest as he spoke softly, soothing. Tyler began to rock him gently, and he tried to lose himself in the rhythm.

 

“You feeling better?” Tyler asked after a while. Josh nodded. Tyler hummed and shifted, pushing Josh down onto his back, and sat up, scooting back. He tugged at Josh’s towel again, pulling it loose, and for a split second Josh began to panic a little, suddenly self conscious and unsure and god, did Tyler really want to do this?

Tyler settled between Josh’s legs, stroking his thighs. “How you feeling, Josh?” he asked.

 

“Nervous,” Josh piped up. “Worried you’re gonna have an awful time.”

 

Tyler laughed. “I’ll be fine,” he said. “I’m not the one who’s hormones are going haywire right now. You just relax, alright? I’ll take care of you.”

 

Josh nodded, but couldn’t help covering his mouth with his hand to hide his whimper when Tyler reached out and stroked his cock, closing his hand around the erect girth.

Josh’s cock always increased in size during a rut, and he was hyperaware of this fact while Tyler slowly jacked him off, the friction delicious on his til-now neglected erection.

 

“So big,” Tyler purred, and Josh flushed, feeling his cock twitch in Tyler’s hand. Fuck. At least half of his greatest fantasies was coming true right now.

 

“Do you taste different in a rut?” Tyler asked, and before Josh could answer with a confession that he had no idea, Tyler’s tongue was languidly licking up the underside of his cock, and Josh’s mouth was falling open in an unbidden moan.

“Fuck,” he whimpered as Tyler’s mouth closed around the head of his cock, tongue flattening and massaging around the sensitive tissue.

 

“Not bad,” Tyler said, lips popping as he pulled off. “I heard this rumour that alphas taste amazing during a rut. You’re not exactly like chocolate sauce or anything, but this is definitely the best blowjob I’ve given, on my part anyway.”

 

Half of Josh’s brain was reeling with the fact that Tyler had just confirmed that he’d given blowjobs in the past and Josh was irrationally jealous about this, and the other half was extremely distracted by the fact that Tyler had closed his lips around his cock again and was humming tantalisingly as he sank nearer to the base.

He bobbed his head a couple of times, hand stroking in time what Tyler couldn’t fit (which was a lot. Josh would never expect anyone to attempt to deepthroat him during a rut). Josh moaned, throwing his head back into the pillows.

“Ty, gonna come,” he whimpered, hand reaching down to stroke through Tyler’s hair.

Tyler hummed, continuing to suck him off, and Josh winced, struggling to hold off on coming.

“Please, Ty, there’s gonna be a lot of cum,” Josh insisted. “Don’t try to swallow it.”

Tyler relented and pulled off with a pop, licking his lips. That image was enough to push Josh over the edge, and his vision whited out while he came.

When Josh’s vision returned, he saw that he’d come all over Tyler. Tyler was sitting between his legs, cum streaked across his face and chest, all over his clothes. His tongue darted out to lick cum off his lips, and Josh moaned.

“You weren’t kidding,” Tyler said, sounding astonished. “That is a lot of cum.”

“Have you not slept with a dude in rut before?” Josh panted.

Tyler shook his head. “No, this is definitely the first time,” he said. Josh felt ashamed at the stab of unconscious pride he felt at being Tyler’s first something.

“Well, there’s gonna be a lot more than that,” Josh said. “It gets, uh. Pretty messy.”

“I see,” Tyler said, and he was actually smirking. “Good to know. Do you get bigger, too?”

“Yeah,” Josh said, suddenly feeling worried. “Are you sure you’re gonna be able to handle it? Like, you’re not in heat, so..”

“I told you, I’ll be fine,” Tyler reassured him. “I can stretch, even off heat.”

Josh moaned at that, the mental image of Tyler trying to fit around his oversized cock sending a spike of heat through his body.

 

He heard Tyler shift, leaning in closer to his throat, where Josh was sure his own scent glands were going crazy. “Fuck,” he said softly. “Your scent is getting so intense.”

“S-sorry,” Josh murmured. He could feel his rut amping up, shifting into a higher level of intensity that it rarely reached. Then again, he didn’t usually have any sex during his rut. Certainly not with the post-heat love of his life who still had hazy traces of pheromones clinging to his scent.

“Ty,” Josh heard himself whimper, and he flushed with embarrassment.

“I got you,” Tyler whispered, and Josh watched him pull his cum-streaked hoodie off, throwing it next to the bed. Josh stared open-mouthed at Tyler’s bare torso, black tattoos stark and harsh against the soft skin. Nothing he hadn’t seen before, but right now, the sight of Tyler’s smooth tan skin and small belly button and bare nipples was so much for him to handle.

Tyler kicked off his jeans and boxers, and Josh moaned openly at the sight of Tyler’s cock, flushed and erect and curving towards his stomach. He sat up, grabbing Tyler by the waist, and pulled him down against his body.

“Shit, Josh, you smell so good right now,” Ty murmured, and Josh responded by pulling him down for a kiss.

Kissing Tyler was nothing like Josh expected, and entirely better. His lips were softer than they looked, full and smooth, and his tongue darted out to meet Josh’s with no hesitation. Tyler kissed deeply and hungrily, and Josh had to pull away for air before he could become too overwhelmed.

“You’re so cute,” Tyler chuckled, dragging his thumb across Josh’s lips. Josh couldn’t respond, breathing hard.

Mmm, Ty,” he whimpered, pressing his face into Tyler’s neck. His hands absently dragged down Tyler’s body, fingers catching on his nipples, then his hipbones.

Please,” Josh begged, and Tyler kissed him quiet.

“Gotta prep first, alright, baby?” Tyler said. Josh whimpered, and nodded, not sure what was more intense – the spike of arousal at the knowledge that Tyler was about to prep himself to have sex with him, or the ache in his chest at the pet name that was so sweet that it had to have been an accident.

He watched Tyler fuck himself open on his fingers, then watched as Tyler rifled through Josh’s drawers.

“Lube and a dildo, Josh,” he heard Tyler say impatiently, as if he’d already asked the question twice. Josh shook his head, trying to clear the haze that kept clouding it. “Lube in the top drawer,” he panted. “Dildo – I think I have one in my underwear drawer?”

 

Tyler found both, and set to work stretching himself further on a large dildo Josh had owned for a while but rarely used.

When Tyler was desperate and panting, bouncing up and down on the dildo like it wasn’t enough, his hooded, dark eyes locked onto Josh’s.

In this time, Josh had somehow managed to get hard again. Watching Tyler was better than watching any porn he’d seen. At least, it seemed that way to his rut-addled brain, but he figured that sentiment would still be mostly true even back in his right mind.

Tyler slid off the dildo, tossing it to the side. He crawled towards Josh, straddling him, hands stroking up Josh’s sides. Josh shivered, his skin becoming oversensitive. Tyler leaned down, kissing his nose.

“You – you sure you’re gonna be alright?” Josh asked, voice coming out a harsh whisper.

 

Tyler smiled, thumbs circling Josh’s hipbones. “I’ll be fine, I told you,” he said. “I literally just got out of a heat, remember – I’m all stretched out from that, still.”

“What were you doing?” Josh heard himself ask incredulously.

Tyler laughed. “You know they make rut-sized dildos, right?” he asked. “They even have ones that knot. I have no idea if they’re anything as good as the real thing, but, yeah. Pretty sure I’ll be fine.”

Josh rather unfortunately allowed himself to picture Tyler heat-stricken and desperately fucking himself on a huge, rut-sized dildo. He shuddered, groaning.

 

“Now you just lie back, yeah?” Tyler murmured, pressing soft kisses to Josh’s throat. “Lemme take care of you.”

Tyler lifted himself up onto his knees, and shuffled back over Josh’s cock. He guided Josh into himself, wincing a little, panting at the stretch.

 

Josh swallowed hard, barely able to believe this was happening. Tyler was whimpering and sitting on his cock, adjusting to his size, and he was lying on his back watching the show. Tyler rolled his hips, and Josh felt a groan forced from his throat at the sensation of Tyler around him, so much Tyler, all for him.

Almost all for him, he corrected himself. His chest panged with the wish that this was wasn’t just a returned favour.

 

Tyler sucked in a shuddering breath. “Wow,” he said shakily. “Fuck. Wish I had you during heat, to be honest. You’re so big, Josh.”

He lifted himself up, and even fully raised up on his knees Josh was still firmly inside him. Tyler dropped back down, and Josh moaned, hands flying to grip Tyler’s hips.

Tyler let out a soft whine, repeating the motion. His hands reached down to rest on Josh’s chest, supporting himself as he picked up a rhythm. Before long he was bouncing on Josh’s cock at a near-punishing pace, and Josh was honestly seeing stars.

“Think you got a knot forming,” Tyler panted, demonstrating by lifting himself to the end of Josh’s cock. Josh felt the pull and resistance, felt the tightness of Tyler’s rim around it. He groaned, and Tyler continued fucking himself on Josh’s cock, the resistance increasing with each thrust.

“s’close,” Josh choked out, and Tyler moaned lustily in response. He ground down hard onto Josh’s cock, rolling his hips, and Josh gasped, letting out animalistic whimpers as he arched up to curl around Tyler, hips stuttering as he came.

 

At that point, Josh blanked out.

 

Tyler whimpered at the sensation of fullness – he could feel Josh’s cock pulsing, pumping what felt like gallons of cum inside him. It was so much, nearly too much. He half-wanted to pull off, but he worried that trying would just result in injuring himself or Josh. He could feel Josh’s knot inside him, huge and tight, and decided not to risk it.

Meanwhile, Josh was lying limp on the bed, eyes glassy and mouth slack.

Tyler leaned forward carefully. “Josh?” he asked. “Hey, baby, you with me?”

 

Josh whimpered, an unfamiliar animalistic sound. Tyler stroked his cheek. “Hey, baby. Come back to me.”

Josh didn’t respond, sighing and shuddering. He pulled Tyler down into his chest, arms tight around him.

Tyler tried to stay calm. He’d heard of this – sometimes during an intense rut, alphas would blank out mentally, seeming to stop thinking, defaulting to basic instincts.

Usually, basic instincts at this point just meant lots of cuddling. Tyler felt very uncomfortable trying to hunch over to cuddle with Josh’s cock still in his ass – this might have worked better if they’d done it back-to-chest, he realised. Then they could have at least spooned.

Lessons for next time, he told himself. Somehow, he didn’t think he was going to be leaving anytime soon.

He remained in a strained, huddled position for what felt like hours – in reality it must have been fifteen minutes. In that time, Josh remained in his weird nonverbal mental state, mostly humming and purring while nuzzling Tyler, nosing at his scent glands, chasing whatever traces of pheromones may have been left.

It was cute, but Tyler kind of wanted Josh back.

Eventually, Tyler felt Josh’s cock finally begin to soften and shrink. He slid off gingerly, ignoring the gush of cum that promptly ruined the sheets, and curled up into a more comfortable position in Josh’s arms.

Finally, Josh seemed to wake up. He blinked down at Tyler with a dazed expression, seeming confused that Tyler was even there.

“Hey, baby,” Tyler said softly, cupping Josh’s cheek. “You with me yet?”

“Ty,” Josh hummed, nuzzling into Tyler’s throat. “You’re here.”

“I sure am, baby.”

“You’re real?”

Tyler blinked. “Yeah, I’m real. Right here.”

“Not a dream?”

Tyler chuckled. “I hope not. Unless we’re both having the same really kickass dream.”

“Hmm, I hope you’re real,” Josh sighed. “Everything feels like so much, Ty.”

“I’m sure it does, baby,” Tyler said, smoothing back Josh’s sweaty hair and kissing his feverish forehead. “I’m right here, though.”

“Hmm.”

Josh seemed drunk, or high, almost. Tyler reasoned that he’d probably been a similar way during his heat. Hormones had a funny way of addling your thought processes.

Josh in rut wasn’t what Tyler would have expected, though. Josh in rut was a big, sleepy, affectionate beast. Tyler had been apprehensive, half-fearing Josh would be desperate and forceful, pinning him down to fuck him over and over. He was relieved that didn’t seem to be the case. Josh was desperate and needy, but never forceful or threatening. Tyler still felt completely safe.

Eventually Josh became hard again, whimpering and thrusting against Tyler’s thigh. Tyler was smarter about it this time, pulling Josh to his knees and guiding him to mount Tyler from behind.

This time, when Josh came, they both slumped together on the bed in a spooning position, and Tyler nearly fell asleep.

What woke him up was Josh pulling his softened cock from Tyler’s ass, and crawling down Tyler’s body to nuzzle at his cock.

Until now, Tyler’s erection had been neglected; he’d decided things would work a lot better if he tried to avoid coming himself. In his normal state, there was no way he’d be able to stomach fitting a rut-sized cock up his ass straight after coming, so it was with both anticipation and dread that Tyler let Josh lick at his cock, fisting his hands into Josh’s pink curls and shuddering with each bob of Josh’s head, the wet hot heat of his mouth enveloping his senses.

When he came with a curse down Josh’s throat, Josh continued to lick and suck at his cock, only relenting when Tyler pulled him up for a kiss.

“Not gonna be able to go again for a while, baby,” Tyler panted. “Sorry.”

He had no idea if Josh understood, staring into Josh’s unfocused gaze. Josh nodded, and nuzzled into Tyler’s chest, curling up against him.

The next time Josh became hard, he pulled at Tyler’s hand instead. Tyler jacked him off, and it was actually kind of amazing to watch the process of Josh’s erection, the tissue growing and hardening until it formed a sizeable red bulb at the end of his cock.

“I had that in my ass?” Tyler asked in disbelief. “I’m not even in heat, wow. Nice. Go me.”

Josh chuckled softly, and then whimpered as he came again, long ropes of cum streaking across the bed. Tyler stared in awe.

It seemed that for Josh, it was possible for exhaustion to take over enough for him to relax and fall asleep, and fall asleep he did, snoring gently against Tyler’s chest. Tyler couldn’t help but be relieved – part of him was afraid he’d have to stay awake for the entirety of Josh’s rut, like how he’d been stuck awake for most of his heat.

Tyler eventually drifted off too, exhausted.

 

When Tyler woke up, it was by a tongue lapping at his cock. He blinked awake, humming in confusion.

Josh looked up at him guiltily. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You just looked so pretty.”

Tyler glanced around – Josh had waited until the next morning, at least. He reached down to curl his fingers in Josh’s hair.

“I’ve been woken up by worse,” he said. “It’s nice to hear you verbal again, by the way.”

“Hmm,” Josh said, pressing a kiss to Tyler’s thigh. “First day is always rough. Gets easier the further in, I guess.”

“Hmm. How’s your brain? Still all cloudy?”

“Kinda,” Josh mumbled. “Everything is still so much. I keep...”

He shuddered, and a tear rolled down his cheek. Tyler sat up, leaning forward to cage his arms around Josh. Josh pressed his face into Tyler’s neck, and a shuddering sob rolled through him.

“S-sorry,” Josh gasped. “Just. You’re gorgeous.”

“Shh,” Tyler murmured, flushing a little.

“No, no,” Josh said, voice becoming insistent. “Really gorgeous. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, Tyler.”

“That’s your rut talking, baby,” Tyler sighed. His chest ached a little. If only Josh really believed that.

He’d gotten so good at suppressing his feelings, keeping them buried to the point where he almost couldn’t feel them. To the point where he’d actually managed not to throw himself at Josh during his heat (though he’d be lying if he said Josh’s presence in the house hadn’t soothed him beyond belief).

But words like that made it very difficult to keep them shoved down, and for not the first time Tyler wondered if offering to keep Josh company during his rut was a mistake.

“You don’t understand,” Josh said in a frustrated voice, and Tyler sighed. He did understand, all too well.

Josh’s emotions were a mess, heightened and confused by his hormones. It made sense that he might become more affectionate to Tyler than usual, maybe perceive a connection that simply wasn’t there.

Josh had never been like this the whole time they’d been friends. They’d always been close, and Josh was always a caring, affectionate friend. But that was it. A friend. Nothing more, and Josh had never given any indication that he’d wanted more.

Tyler sighed, and buried his feelings deeper. Not now. Now, he was trying to help a friend through a literal rut.

 

Chapter 3: In which I, the author, reveal my general distrust/disdain of labels and corporations, and Josh just. does not stop crying.

Summary:

It turns out ruts have an additional effect of removing Josh's ability to filter basically anything he says. For the better, as it turns out.

Chapter Text

The next day, Tyler woke up to soft sobbing. He cracked his eyes open, finding his arms empty, and glanced around the room.

Josh was huddled on the other end of the bed, curled into as small of a ball as he could manage. A stab of worry shot through Tyler – was he okay? Was this just hormones, or was something wrong?

He sat up, crawling over to gingerly place a hand on Josh’s shoulder. Josh flinched.

“Josh, what’s wrong?” Tyler asked softly. “C’mon, you can talk to me. I’m right here.”

 

“I can’t,” Josh mumbled.

“You can,” Tyler said. “C’mere. At least let me hug you.”

Josh relented to this, rolling over. His eyes were red and puffy, nose streaming – he’d evidently been crying for a while. Tyler pulled him into his arms, stroking his hair.

Josh shuddered through another sob, whole body tautening with the effort of containing it.

“Don’t do that,” Tyler chided him gently. “Cry properly, it’s alright. Don’t try to suppress it.”

“Don’t wanna cover you in snot,” Josh mumbled.

“Let’s be honest, for the past couple of days you’ve been covering me in much worse than snot,” Tyler snorted, and Josh shook with what started as a laugh that then dissolved into helpless tears.

“Oh, baby,” Tyler sighed, massaging a hand along Josh’s back. “You’re a wreck right now, aren’t you? You poor thing.”

 

“N-not your baby,” Josh choked out between sobs.

 

A hollow feeling opened up in the pit of Tyler’s stomach. “What?”

“Not yours,” Josh snivelled. “Never. You never wanted me to be yours. You never wanted to be mine.”

“Josh, what are you talking about?” Tyler asked, struggling to make sense of it. Was Josh going nonverbal again, preceding it with nonsensical babble?

 

“You don’t want me,” Josh insisted, wiping his face, smearing tears and snot and god-knows-what. Despite it, Tyler was trying to resist the urge to kiss his face all over and tell him everything would be alright.

“What do you mean, I don’t want you?” Tyler asked softly.

“You never have,” Josh sobbed. “Never. We’ve been friends for years, and that’s – that’s it. Nothing else. You never wanted anything else.”

 

Tyler’s heart began to hammer furiously.

 

“And I – I try to be okay with it, try to be okay with just being friends because at least that’s something, and it’s something valuable and important and I appreciate it s-so much, which is why I can’t say anything, because I don’t want to ruin it,” Josh continued, sniffing wetly. “But it’s so hard. And this makes it so much huh-harder.”

 

Tyler sighed. He rested his forehead against Josh’s, and let himself hope that this wasn’t just Josh’s hormones.

“I don’t wanna lose you,” Josh burbled. “I never wanted to say anything, because I don’t want to lose you, but it’s so hard and I just wish you knew, sometimes.”

 

“You’re saying you’ve always wanted to move beyond friends, but you’ve been scared to because you don’t want to lose our friendship, is that it?” Tyler asked softly.

Yes,” Josh sobbed. “Tyler, I love you. And – fuck. I’ve ruined it now, haven’t I?”

 

Josh collapsed into incoherent tears, hiding his face in his hands.

Tyler’s heart felt like it was going to explode.

 

“You big goof,” he said gently, prising Josh’s hands away and pressing kisses to his face. “You giant, sentimental, hyperemotional moron.”

“I-s-sorry,” Josh hiccuped. Tyler kissed him, a gentle peck on the lips.

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for, baby,” he said. “C’mere. I love you so much.”

Josh blinked wetly as Tyler pulled him into a tight hug. “I didn’t ruin it?” he asked.

 

“Not at all,” Tyler said, kissing everything he could reach – Josh’s neck, shoulders, jawline, face, hair. “I didn’t think you had feelings for me. So I never said anything, either. But, yeah. I love you too, alright? So much.”

Josh swallowed hard. “We should have left this conversation for after my rut,” he said.

“We should have, but we didn’t,” Tyler said. “We can talk about it properly afterwards. Until then, though, stop crying and knot me, you moron.”

 

This statement had the unfortunate opposite effect Tyler wanted, instead pushing Josh into even worse crying. Tyler chuckled and rocked him, humming softly.

“Fucking alphas,” Tyler sighed, when Josh’s bawling had subsided into wet sniffs. “No offense, but you guys are pathetic.”

“We really are,” Josh mumbled. “Especially me. I keep thinking about Adore Delano and tearing up.”

“Jesus. Remind me to never let you watch RuPaul again.”

 

“It’s so dumb though,” Josh continued. “Growing up, we’re all told that alphas are meant to be the big strong protective ones. But to be honest, you’ve done a lot more taking care of me than I’ve done taking care of you.”

“Don’t say that,” Tyler murmured. “You were amazing during my heat. You were right, I probably would have died of dehydration on my own. I needed a lot of stuff physically – food and water and safety – and you took care of all of that. On the other hand, you’re okay physically during rut, but you’re a pathetic baby who needs a ton of emotional support, apparently. And I’m more than okay to help with that.”

Josh sniffled. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re so welcome.” Tyler stroked Josh’s hair, feeling a renewed sense of joy and pleasure now that he knew Josh wanted this, wanted him, probably enjoyed Tyler’s fingers in his hair as much as Tyler enjoyed playing with the soft curls. He loved the closeness so much, loved being able to love Josh without reserve now, and it warmed him to his toes to think Josh loved the closeness just as much.

Josh pulled his arms tightly around Tyler, sucking in a shuddering breath, and letting it out in a bone-deep sigh. He fell totally limp against Tyler, humming happily.

 

The next time Josh began thrusting against Tyler’s thigh, Tyler pulled him up to his knees and faced him, chest-to-chest, running his hands across Josh’s body. Smoothing along his chest, tracing the curves of his back, squeezing his ass. He kissed Josh’s neck, nipping along the muscle, silently revelling in the fact that all this was his, because Josh wanted to be his.

Josh’s kisses began to grow more desperate, and Tyler relented, turning around. Josh pulled him gently against his chest, hands roaming across his front, mirroring the indulgent touches Tyler had been luxuriating in earlier.

He guided himself into Tyler again, moving slowly, pulling Tyler firmly against him when Tyler began to squirm. He took control this time, setting a slow but intense rhythm, that ultimately sped up as he came close to yet another orgasm.

He reached one hand around to Tyler’s front, taking hold of Tyler’s cock and stroking him in time with his thrusts, and soon Tyler was about as desperate as Josh, pushing back to meet his thrusts, whining softly.

This time, Tyler came at the same time as Josh, moaning and arching back as Josh curled around him, hips stuttering out of control. Josh’s arms wound tightly around his chest as he came, and Tyler melted into his grip, relishing it.

 

They collapsed back onto the bed, panting and tangled in each other’s limbs. Tyler grimaced – he couldn’t suppress his soft whimpers of pain, too oversensitive post-orgasm to cope with Josh’s pulsing knot.

Josh immediately panicked, first trying to pull out, only to stop after a yelp from Tyler. Then he ran nervous hands frantically up and down Tyler’s body, trying to soothe, stammering out apologies.

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Tyler tried to tell him. It was going to be a long fifteen minutes, but he’d cope.

 

Josh’s anxiety eased a little after a couple minutes, though he was still trembling a little. He kissed a line down the back of Tyler’s neck, trying to soothe Tyler’s discomfort.

“Maybe we won’t try that again,” Josh mumbled guiltily, tracing kisses up into Tyler’s hair. “I’m really sorry, it seemed like a good idea at the time...”

“It’s alright,” Tyler said. “It was really nice, honestly. Just not comfy when the orgasm passes, I guess. Maybe we save simultaneous orgasms for regular sex.”

Josh smiled into Tyler’s hair. “You’re saying we’ll have regular sex after all this? Like a couple?”

Tyler snorted. “Well, yeah,” he said. “We are a couple now, aren’t we? You’re my boyfriend now, right?”

“Right,” Josh said, and got so overwhelmed he started sniffling again.

 

In between desperate, half-instinctive sex, Tyler was able to persuade Josh to shower and eat. He wondered if Josh would actually have been able to take care of himself on his own, considering how he didn’t seem to realise he was hungry until Tyler suggested he eat.

Then again, Josh had been planning to rut solo, and Tyler suspected that it would have been far less intense if he hadn’t gotten involved.

Outside of sex, Josh proved to be alarmingly clingy during his rut. He wouldn’t even piss without Tyler there, and remained in constant contact with Tyler as Tyler tried to feed him, or bathe him, or pour water down his throat. He wouldn’t let Tyler out of his sight.

Tyler supposed the clinginess would have been good in a situation where he was in heat at the same time as Josh was in rut, and therefore equally clingy. However, off heat, he found it just a little overwhelming.

In many ways, though, it was incredibly endearing. Josh gazed at Tyler like he was looking at stars for the first time, and frequently insisted on cuddling and kissing. Every time Tyler woke up, he was wrapped in Josh’s arms, with usually his lips on his neck or soft snoring in his ear.

“I love you,” Josh said sleepily, just about every time they had sex, and Tyler would smile.

“I love you too,” he’d say back, and then Josh would get emotional, tearing up or even outright crying.

 

Somewhere around the fifth day, Josh’s sex drive slowed right down, and his emotions started to return to normal. Tyler got him out of the bedroom into the living room, where they cuddled and watched Netflix and occasionally had slow, lazy sex on the couch.

The clinginess began to ease, too – Tyler was able to actually shower by himself while Josh slept, and he could leave Josh watching Stranger Things to restock on groceries and junk food.

By the seventh day, Josh had more or less returned to normal. Tyler realised some things were not going to change, though; like the goofy way Josh smiled when Tyler told him he loved him, or the way he sighed deeply like he’d been waiting all his life each time he held Tyler close.

 

When they finally rejoined society, the first thing Jesse did was berate Josh.

“You weren’t even sure if he was into you, and yet you happily let him stay with you during a rut?” he demanded, nearly breaking the pulse button on his blender.

 

“I was already too out of it to really argue,” Josh protested, cuddling Crybaby, who was happily purring in his arms. “It seemed like a good idea at the time! And to be honest, it’s not like I regret it, now.”

“To be honest, I can’t believe the fact that Tyler walking into your house and literally offering to ‘help you out’ during your rut didn’t tip you off to the fact that he’s into you,” Jesse snorted. “I can’t believe you then spent the next two days fucking him while having a fucking emotional crisis over whether or not he might like you.”

“Shut up,” Josh said, flushing. “Like I said, I was really out of it.”

 

“You’re also just a giant moron,” Jesse said, pouring the green contents of the blender into a mason jar and passing it to Josh. “On the plus side, Colin and I had a bet going that you might confess your feelings to Tyler in the middle of your rut. I placed extra on the stipulation that Tyler would end up returning your feelings. Needless to say, Colin is a sore loser and I could afford rent this week.” Jesse fist-pumped the air, and Josh smirked into his kale smoothie.

 

Jenna reacted in much the same way – first checking both boys over, fretting over how their health might have been affected during their two-week withdrawal – and then chastising them both for not seeking any kind of help or support.

“You could have come to me and talked about it,” Jenna exclaimed. “Or, god, at least sent me a text or something so I knew you weren’t dead.”

She sighed, and then ruffled both their heads. “Anyway, I’m glad your sorted your issues out and actually figured things out,” she said. “Watching you two pretend not to like each other has been excruciating.”

Meanwhile, both Josh and Tyler’s families were completely supportive of their decision to start a relationship. And if the boys were oddly cagey about what exactly brought them to the decision, or indeed what they’d even been doing for the past two weeks, their parents politely declined to push further.

 

Which then brought them to the issue of their label.

 

It turned out the label weren’t super happy with the idea of letting Josh and Tyler take a full extra two weeks off for their touring break – time was money, and each day wasted was another day their hits could slip down the charts, less opportunity for the label to make money off the cash cow that was now Twenty One Pilots.

So the boys were sent off to LA, where Josh and Tyler lived in Josh’s apartment by night, and agonised over recording tracks by day.

It was intense and overwhelming for the most part, and in many ways no different to recording tracks for their previous album. Tyler would still retreat to refine lyrics, pick out hooks on his keyboard or uke, perfect concepts and details, and sometimes get a little too lost in his own head.

Josh would smash out drum tracks, mess around with whatever other instruments or backing vocals he could take part in, and generally do his best to pull Tyler out of his head, with a well-timed joke, or a video on Youtube, or a bizarre story on Tumblr.

Some things were different, though. Josh found he could effectively pull Tyler out of brooding by taking him aside for an intense cuddle session. And it was always so much nicer leaving the studio with the knowledge that he’d collapse into bed with Tyler, tangling each other’s limbs into whatever sleepy embrace their exhaustion allowed for, and fall asleep with Tyler warm and snuffling softly, heartbeat lulling Josh to sleep.

They also found a generally improved sense of sync when they performed new songs together, or even old ones. This was something the label picked up, of course, delighted with the idea that the boys could somehow become better connected despite the hellish touring and recording schedule.

 

It was towards the end of recording, and nearly a full month later, when Tyler brought up his heat.

“So I’m due a heat soon,” he said, while his legs were tangled with Josh’s in bed after another full day of recording.

Josh grunted softly, sounding already half-asleep.

“Josh. Listen. I’m due a heat soon.”

“Hmm?” Josh responded.

“I was thinking,” Tyler said, playing with his fingers anxiously. “Your rut will have probably caught up to my heat, considering it almost synced last time. So... what do you think? Want to take a week off and spend it together?”

Josh made a confused sound. “You’re not back on suppressants?” he asked.

“No,” Tyler said sheepishly. “I’ll probably go back on them next month, but... to be honest, I want to see what a heat would be like with you.”

Josh chuckled softly. “That’s cute,” he said. “And you’re right, my rut will probably have caught up. So it could be fun, I guess?”

“I’m going on contraception, though,” Tyler said firmly. “We haven’t been dating that long. And even if we were, we definitely don’t have time to have babies with our career as intense as it is right now.”

“That’s fair,” Josh said sleepily. “You’d make cute babies though.”

Tyler flushed. “Maybe one day,” he said. “Now, though? No babies.”

“No babies,” Josh hummed. “Just lots of sex.”

Tyler snorted, flushing. “We should talk about this when you’re less sleepy,” he said, snuggling down with Josh. “Goodnight, baby.”

 

The next morning, Tyler woke up to Josh sitting next to him with a cup of coffee in hand, gazing down at him pensively.

“Were you serious about what you said last night?” Josh asked. “About – spending rut and heat together?”

“Of course,” Tyler said, yawning and rubbing his eyes. “I mean, why not?”

Josh smirked. “Regular sex not doing it for you, then?” he said, and Tyler snorted, thwacking his arm.

For a period of time, Josh had actually been deeply insecure about regular sex – Tyler had unflinchingly taken his rut-sized cock the first time they'd had sex despite not being in heat, and Josh had worried that his cock off-rut would be, well, disappointing by comparison. Off-rut, his cock was marginally smaller than Tyler’s, and significantly smaller than his cock in rut. It was a really strange feeling to feel insecure that your partner might have been ruined for your cock by, well, your cock.

That insecurity had faded pretty quickly, though. Tyler had made it clear that Josh’s cock off-rut was by no means a disappointment, provided he used it properly.

However, sex while both he and Tyler were being affected by hormones was going to be an entirely different beast, Josh realised. He was both kind of excited, and deeply apprehensive.

What if they forgot to eat, or rehydrate? Would Josh remember those things with Tyler’s pheromones ramping up his rut? Did Tyler really never sleep during his heat – would Josh have to fuck him nonstop 24/7 for a week, somehow?

 

Whatever his worries, he didn’t argue when Tyler asked for time off from the label – their week fell neatly in between the end of recording and the start of another round of touring, so they could easily head back to Columbus for the week.

They decided to stay at Josh’s house, in the end – Tyler explained that Josh’s scent permeating the house made him feel more secure there somehow, and Josh wasn’t going to argue. They settled in, and began making arrangements for the week.

First, food. Josh didn’t think they were going to be in any state to go grocery shopping after hormones kicked in, so he stocked up on everything he could think of. Fruit, vegies, bacon, milk, Oreos, Red Bull, everything. Tyler bought more lube, and brought piles of thick blankets from his house - “nesting stuff,” Tyler explained, flushing a little. “I always feel kind of an idiot when I do it, but it really helps being able to burrow down under everything, I guess.”

Josh wasn’t going to argue. He could already see the effects of Tyler’s heat starting to kick in. He was jumpy, absent-minded, feverish. And holy shit, the scent. Even before it really set in, just faint whiffs and traces of pheromones, it was enough to make Josh’s head reel. And it was affecting him, he was sure of it. He could feel his own body responding, gearing up for a rut.

And if Tyler was affecting him, he was pretty sure he was affecting Tyler. His scent must have changed, because suddenly Tyler was creeping in for tight hugs, burying his face in Josh’s neck and flat-out trembling, and whimpering slightly when Josh pulled away.

It came to a head one morning just as Josh was washing up dishes after having managed to feed as many eggs and bacon strips as he could get into Tyler’s mouth – he’d had a suspicion things would ramp up that day, and he was proved true when Tyler padded into the kitchen, scent pouring off him and panting, eyes hooded and mouth open in want.

Josh groaned as the scent hit him. He still had a couple of forks. “Give me a minute, Ty,” Josh pleaded.

“Need you, Josh,” Tyler said in a tiny voice. He padded across the floor and wrapped his arms around Josh from behind, nosing into Josh’s neck. “Please, need you.”

“One more fork,” Josh protested, racing against time. Tyler’s hands crept down his chest, fiddling with the button on his jeans just as Josh got the last fork onto the drying rack.

“Shit,” Josh gasped, slamming his hands on the counter. It was getting hard to think straight, with Tyler’s heady scent clouding his head and ramping up his senses. Tyler undid his jeans, reaching into his boxers, hands gentle but insistent.

“Not here, baby,” Josh murmured, gritting his teeth in an effort to focus. “C’mon. Last thing we need is to clean spunk off the kitchen cupboards.”

He turned around, guiding Tyler upstairs, and pulled him into the bedroom. Tyler whimpered, tugging at Josh’s clothes, at his own clothes.

“S’too much, Josh,” Tyler whined. “Everything’s too much.”

“I know, baby,” Josh sighed, pulling Tyler down onto the bed. “Let me help.”

He gently stripped off Tyler’s clothes, trying not to squirm when Tyler insisted on pulling Josh’s clothes off. Tyler crawled into his lap, a naked, panting, feverish mess.

“Please,” Tyler begged, nuzzling into Josh’s neck, nipping at his scent glands, hands frantic across his body. “Need you, baby.”

Josh didn’t need any more encouragement. He took hold of Tyler’s hips and pulled them against his own in a slow grind. Tyler trembled, keening softly. He was so hard, cock painfully red and flat against his stomach, and he thrusted without finesse against Josh’s abdomen.

Josh’s head was going fuzzy. Tyler’s breath was getting overwhelming on his skin as his sensitivity increased, and he was pretty sure all the blood in his body was getting sucked into his cock – swollen and twitching as Tyler ground against it.

Tyler gasped suddenly, eyes flying wide open. He whimpered and arched over Josh, coming onto his chest, and fell limp against him, relaxing. Josh pulled his arms around Tyler, holding him gently, knowing the relief wasn’t going to last.

It barely lasted a few minutes before Tyler was whimpering and panting again, hips rolling of their own volition.

“C’mere,” Josh murmured, pulling Tyler into the centre of the bed, where he’d earlier arranged a mountain of blankets. Tyler sank into them, first burrowing under all of them, then emerging with just his head exposed.

“Inside,” Tyler said softly, pulling Josh into the cocoon with him.

It was hot and stuffy, a situation not made better by either of the boys’ feverish temperatures or panting breath. Still, Josh felt himself melt a little when Tyler nuzzled into his chest, purring softly.

“You feeling okay, baby?” Josh asked, and Tyler nodded.

Tyler hummed and crawled down Josh’s body, pressing kisses along his torso, and Josh was nearly lulled into relaxing when he felt Tyler’s lips press against his cock.

“Fuck,” Josh whimpered, body tautening up. “Ty -”

Tyler sucked Josh’s cock into his mouth without hesitation, humming softly as he bobbed his head, starting a rhythm that had Josh’s legs trembling. It was almost better in the dark, unable to see, with Josh’s focus turning to the wet, soft sucking sounds and Tyler’s lusty hums, and the sensation of his hot, wet mouth and tongue working his cock.

Josh shuddered. “I’m close, Ty,” he warned. Tyler sighed and pulled off, working Josh with his hands instead, leaning forward to kiss him. Josh could taste himself on Tyler’s lips, and moaned, pulling him in close.

Josh came with a cry, tautening and curling around Tyler as his hands worked him through his orgasm, panting into Tyler’s neck. Tyler hummed and straddled him when Josh was spent, mouth busying itself with sucking marks into Josh’s skin and kissing him between hickies.

“Hmm,” Tyler sighed, lips and teeth working at Josh’s scent glands, trying to stimulate them into releasing more pheromones. “This is – so much nicer than going through heat on my own.”

“Yeah?” Josh panted, squirming as Tyler nibbled the sensitive glands. “Slow down, baby. You’ll wear yourself out.”

Tyler made a disgruntled sound, and did not slow down, instead opening up the blanket fort so that Josh could see the wreck Tyler was becoming, see the red flush spreading down his shoulders and chest.

Tyler whined and shifted, pressing his face into the bed and lifting his ass into the air. Josh groaned, head spinning at the sight of Tyler presenting to him.

“Jesus, Ty,” Josh murmured, shuffling around to kneel behind Tyler. He gripped Tyler’s waist, smoothing his hands along his sides and dragging them up to squeeze Tyler’s ass.

Tyler wiggled his butt a little, and Josh watched the light sheen off a layer of wet slick that was beginning to drip down Tyler’s thighs. He licked up the rivulets, moaning a little when he realised it tasted like a concentrated version of Tyler’s scent.

“You sure you’re gonna need lube?” he asked, panting softly.

“Not normally this wet,” Tyler murmured. “So maybe not. I guess you make me really wet, baby.”

Josh moaned and curled over Tyler’s back, kissing down his spine. Tyler whined and shifted his hips insistently. The whole time, Josh’s cock throbbed, and he whimpered as he tried to get his head together long enough to guide himself into Tyler’s ass, pressing in deep, and begin thrusting.

 

Tyler moaned when Josh filled him, purring at the sensation. In heat, he didn’t even need to be stretched – his body felt looser and more flexible, somehow, and the stretch to accommodate Josh’s girth felt pleasurable and satisfying, rather than painful or tight.

Josh thrusted, and a spike of pleasure shot through Tyler with the motion, his body arching back in response. He felt like he was glowing under Josh’s hands, panting and keening as he pushed back to meet each thrust.

This was so different to going through heat by himself, Tyler marvelled. He’d been a little apprehensive when he’d asked Josh to join him for a heat, but Josh’s presence was amazing; his heady scent filled Tyler’s brain, soothing it like vapour-rub steam might soothe an irritated chest.

Instead of his usual state of paranoia, frustration and feverish hypersexuality, Tyler now just felt deeply warm and aroused beyond belief, and satisfied.

He wondered if it was the same for Josh, if his scent was as soothing for Josh as Josh’s was for him. During Josh’s rut, he’d been confused and hyperemotional, with little control over himself. Now, Josh seemed more controlled and relaxed, humming as he pressed his chest along Tyler’s back.

Tyler felt Josh’s hand slide around to his front, stroking his cock in time with his thrusts, and he purred, losing himself in the intense pleasure. When Josh cried out and came, the pulse of his cock and tightness of his knot felt warm and filling, not uncomfortable, and Tyler came as well, shuddering and arching back against Josh.

Josh pulled him down into the blankets, panting. Tyler wondered if Josh had gone non-verbal yet, reaching back to stroke Josh’s hair. Josh sighed and nuzzled into Tyler’s neck, nipping softly at his glands.

“So good, baby,” Tyler moaned. “Feels good.”

“Yeah?” Josh panted. “You look better. Not like how you looked last heat.”

“Feels better with you,” Tyler said. “How are you feeling?”

“Amazing,” Josh sighed, burying his face in Tyler’s neck. “So good. Not hurting you?”

“Not at all,” Tyler said. “I can handle it, like this.”

“Oh, good,” Josh said, body relaxing suddenly. Tyler wondered if he’d been afraid of hurting him.

“You won’t hurt me,” he said, trying to reassure Josh. “I can handle it, now. Anything. You won’t hurt, it’ll just feel good.”

“Thank god,” Josh said in a thick voice. “So – scared. Didn’t want to – last thing I wanted to -”

As if the relief of knowing he wasn’t going to hurt Tyler was just too much, Josh promptly started sniffling.

“Oh, baby,” Tyler sighed. “You big goof. C’mere, I gotcha.”

He couldn’t really turn around with Josh’s knot still pulsing inside him, but he could reach back and stroke his fingers through Josh’s hair, stroking and petting him wherever he could reach. Josh’s sobs began to subside as his cock began to soften, and Tyler pulled off to roll over and wrap his arms around him.

 

They fucked like that for the next few hours, and then Josh shakily pulled Tyler to his feet, all but carrying him into the bathroom.

They took turns pissing, and Josh pulled Tyler into the shower, both of them flinching at the water. Josh’s hands massaging shampoo into Tyler’s hair was beyond soothing, though, and after sleepily cuddling under the warm water for a while, they left the shower and dried off.

Josh led Tyler into the kitchen and slowly fed him Oreos, insistent that Tyler at least eat something. He made sure Tyler took his contraception pills and drank some water, and then they returned to the bed, where Tyler nestled into the blankets, pulling Josh into the nest and promptly falling asleep on his chest.

When he woke up later that night (he slept! He actually slept during a heat! Only for about twenty minutes, but twenty minutes was better than nothing), Josh fucked him again, lulling him back into a haze of warm pleasure that dragged on through the night, in between cuddles and sex and watching Josh sleep exhaustedly.

Tyler still couldn’t get more than twenty minutes at a time, while Josh could effectively pass out for hours, leaving Tyler fucking into his own hand more often than not. Nonetheless, Josh’s scent continued to affect Tyler despite his being asleep, soothing Tyler’s brain and body so he could at least relax while sleepily jacking off next to Josh.

 

Josh seemed to remain more or less focused this time, not regressing into a nonverbal state or the confused state he’d been in during his last rut. He was still hyperemotional and protective, but much more alert, able to take care of them both in the same way he’d taken care of Tyler during his last heat. He kept them fed, kept them hydrated, made sure Tyler took his meds on time, and even managed to keep them somewhat clean.

And Tyler found that taking care of Josh mostly involved letting Josh cling to him, cuddle him, and speaking softly and comforting Josh when he got overwhelmed. Josh’s emotions were a mess, but Tyler didn’t mind dealing with them.

 

If not for the fact that they simply couldn’t take a week off every month with their touring schedule as busy as it was, Tyler felt pretty sure he could live with going off suppressants for good. He could absolutely survive a heat every month if it meant being wrapped up in Josh for a week.

He entertained the idea of switching to the regular suppressants. A full heat every few months was feasible, he pondered.

He decided he’d try going back on his continuous suppressants for a month or two – see what a half-heat was like when it coincided with Josh’s rut. If that worked out, he’d stick to the continuous suppressants. Otherwise, the idea of doing a full heat with Josh once every three or four months sounded incredibly appealing.

Tyler settled into his nest with Josh’s head in his lap, drifting off. It felt unbelievable to think barely a month ago, the prospect of going into heat was scary and unbearable and lonely. And more, he’d had no idea about Josh’s feelings, pining upstairs in bed oblivious to the fact that Josh might have wanted to help in more ways than just passing bottles of water through the door.

Tyler shut his eyes. He’d never imagined there’d ever be a reason to be grateful to have gone into a full heat, but if the resulting chain of events had led to actually having Josh for his own, then he couldn’t be more thankful.

 

Chapter 4: In which blue balls are a pain in the ass (so to speak), and we learn of Josh's disdain for Vaporeons

Summary:

They survive heat/rut, and we skip forward to the next month wherein we find the boys on tour, Tyler back on medication, and the pair attempting to navigate a rut/half-heat without disturbing their bus-mates too much.

Also, I could feasibly end this fic here - like this thing is pretty much plotless. I guess I could keep writing more porn and junk, but any semblance of plot arc this might have had is definitely over. Idek if anyone would want me to keep writing this, tbh. I guess if you have any ideas, though, let me know? I don't really know where to keep going with this.

I did what I wanted, which was write a shitty a/b/o porno to fill the void that seems to be afflicting Ao3 (stop with the group chat fics!! more omegaverse and less group chats!!!), so at this point I'm just floating aimlessly now, lmao.

Chapter Text

Tyler was woken up by an intense, aching heat in the pit of his stomach, whimpering out loud at how overwhelming it was. He screwed his eyes shut, grimacing, doubling over.

“Fuck,” he whimpered, starting to feel a little panicky. “Shit.”

He felt blankets shifting next to him, and Josh emerged, scooting over to pull Tyler in his arms.

“Shh, I got you,” Josh said softly. “You’re alright. Show me.”

Tyler straightened up, revealing a painful, neglected boner that must have formed while he was asleep. He needed to come – it felt like he’d been holding off for hours. About the length of time that he’d been asleep, probably.

“Guess I don’t get to sleep that long,” Tyler said shakily. Josh gently shushed him, pulling Tyler into his lap, back against his chest. He pulled one arm around Tyler’s torso, hand stroking his chest, and Tyler heard him spitting into his other hand, slicking it up. He reached around with it to grasp Tyler’s cock, stroking slowly, but firmly.

Tyler hissed at the contact, stiffening against Josh. His hips moved of their own volition, thrusting into Josh’s hand, and for a second he was too far gone to hear the desperate whimpers falling from his open mouth.

It took barely a minute for Tyler to peak, crying out and coming hard, sending spurts of cum streaking across the bed. Josh pressed kisses to his neck while he panted, recovering, sucking in great gulps of air in relief.

“I’m so tired,” Tyler whined, scrubbing his eyes with his fists. So much for being the emotionally stable one – he felt on the verge of tears. “This is fucking shit. I just want to sleep.”

“I know, I know baby,” Josh said, smoothing Tyler’s hair. “It sucks.”

Tyler whimpered and turned around to curl into Josh, clenching his fists in frustration. It wasn’t as bad as a solo heat, where he literally couldn’t sleep for the whole week, but he felt tired and frustrated all the same. Twenty minutes here and there just wasn’t enough.

He grumbled into Josh’s chest, and Josh rocked him gently, murmuring sympathetic words.

Josh chewed his lip pensively. “I have an idea, but I don’t know if it’ll work,” he said. “And I wanna make sure it’s okay with you before I try it. But, uh. Assuming I can get you off without actually waking you. We could try that? Go to sleep, and I’ll wait for your next boner, and see if I can get you off while you’re asleep.”

Tyler groaned, nearly springing another erection right there. “God. That actually sounds kind of hot.”

Josh flushed. “So... do you want to try it?”

“Please,” Tyler begged. “Anything to let me get more than twenty minutes of sleep at a time.”

“Hey, you got a full five hours just now,” Josh chuckled.

Tyler snorted. “At the cost of the bluest balls I’ve ever experienced,” he said. “It’s not nice. I’d rather not do that again.”

Josh shushed him and pushed him back into the covers, lying next to him while Tyler snuggled down into his chest.

“Just go to sleep, okay?” Josh said. “I’ll try and help. Just try not to wake up.”

“Just imagine, me sleeping through possibly the best sex of my life,” Tyler joked. “Better not make it too good.”

Josh chuckled, stroking through Tyler’s hair. He could feel himself sinking, exhaustion pulling him back into sleep, and it was getting increasingly difficult to focus on Josh’s fingers in his hair.

 

When Josh was sure Tyler had fallen asleep, he checked the boy’s body over. He looked relaxed, comfortable, skin sheening slightly but otherwise normal. And, importantly, no sign of a boner yet.

He sighed, settling back next to Tyler again. It was going to be difficult to stay awake, but he very much wanted to see if this would work.

If it did work, then he could keep Tyler asleep for long enough to recover and regain some energy, so he could keep going for however long they had left.

And how long was that? Josh frowned. What day even was it? He had no idea. Everything had just melted into a continuous haze of sex and sleep, and the occasional break to eat or shower. He’d long since lost track of time, or even what day it was.

He glanced at his phone – for the first time since going into rut, he realised with a stab of guilt. He ignored the influx of missed notifications to check the date.

Apparently it was only Wednesday. Rut/heat had started on Monday. Which meant they had probably four or five days left to go. Josh groaned.

He wondered if Tyler would go back onto suppressants. As much as he’d enjoyed their week so far, Josh was exhausted – there was no way he could do this every month, especially on top of touring and travelling besides.

He put his phone down and curled around Tyler, burying his face into his neck and breathing him in.

The effect of Tyler’s scent in heat was a weird one – it sent a fierce heat building in the pit of his stomach, insistent and deep. But at the same time, it settled his nerves, soothed him. His head was hazy and distracted by the need for sex, but calm.

He supposed it was similar for Tyler, though Tyler didn’t seem to need anyone’s scent to go wildly desperate during heat. Maybe Josh’s scent had more of a calming effect than an arousing one, though he couldn’t be sure. He supposed he could ask Tyler later.

Tyler stirred in his sleep, whining softly. Josh glanced down, and flushed when he realised Tyler already had another erection. No wonder he couldn’t sleep properly.

He crawled down Tyler’s body, movements as slow and gentle as he could make them, careful not to wake Tyler. His hands ghosted along Tyler’s cock, waiting for a reaction.

Tyler whined at the contact, but didn’t wake. Josh tried closing his hand around Tyler’s cock, pumping it slowly.

Tyler hummed, hips rolling, but remained asleep. Josh smirked.

He dipped his hand between Tyler’s buttocks, fingers circling his rim – god, how was Tyler so wet? He returned his hand back to Tyler’s cock, using his slick to lubricate his movements.

Tyler whimpered, sleepily rolling his hips to meet Josh’s strokes, mouth falling open.

The sight was incredible, but Josh hoped Tyler was still actually asleep. He didn’t think it would count if Tyler was half-asleep, or hazily awake.

He brought Tyler to the edge, marvelling at the sight of his lips falling open as he weakly thrusted into Josh’s hand, soft, sleepy sounds punctuating Josh’s strokes.

Tyler shuddered, body tautening as he hit his climax. Josh stroked him through it, barely noticing where Tyler’s cum fell on the sheets, watching for a sign that Tyler might wake up.

Tyler whimpered softly, pulling away from Josh’s touch, and Josh withdrew, afraid that the oversensitivity might wake Tyler.

He lay back down next to Tyler, who’d gone limp again. Sighing softly in relief, he curled back around him, careful not to disturb him, and lay there, heart pounding. He couldn’t believe it had worked, and he couldn’t help grinning a little in victory.

If he could keep it up, he could keep Tyler asleep for hours, just jacking him off occasionally to relieve him.

 

The rest of the night passed with Josh rousing himself every half hour or so to gently jack off his boyfriend, at one point wondering how the hell one lanky dude could produce such a continuous, constant supply of cum. His sheets were never going to recover.

His own needs were starting to become apparent, too. Josh tried jacking himself off as well as Tyler, even pressing his and Tyler’s cocks together at one point, delighting in the delicious sensation of Tyler’s cock twitching against his.

But it wasn’t enough, he realised with dismay. He needed to knot Tyler.

Now, there was a challenge – could Josh feasibly fuck and then knot Tyler without waking him?

He doubted it, very much. Tyler would have to be unbelievably exhausted to sleep through having a rut-sized cock rammed up his ass – or a very heavy sleeper, which Josh knew Tyler was not.

He checked the time. He’d kept Tyler asleep for six hours, now.

He supposed Tyler wouldn’t be too upset getting woken up after six hours of undisturbed sleep. And if by some miracle he didn’t wake up, then it was a win/win for both of them.

Heart in his mouth, Josh gingerly prodded his fingers into Tyler’s ass, wondering if the intrusion would wake him.

Tyler hummed, and whined softly when Josh brushed his prostate, but didn’t wake. Slick gushed over Josh’s fingers.

Josh took a deep breath, lubing himself up with Tyler’s slick, and slowly, gently pressed himself in, eyes trained on Tyler’s face.

Tyler didn’t stir, and Josh slid in easily with no resistance. He let out a breath, easing himself into Tyler, and Tyler just hummed.

Josh picked a slow rhythm, careful and gentle. If anything would wake Tyler, his prostate getting rammed into would probably be it, so he kept his pace slow and easy, rocking into Tyler with featherlight care.

It took him longer to come, this way; his body screamed for release, Josh gritting his teeth to resist the urge to speed up and thrust into Tyler with the force he was craving.

He grimaced and kept it slow. Tyler slept on, snoring ever so softly.

Josh allowed himself a little more speed when he was on the edge of coming; he whimpered and curled over Tyler, gripping the sheets and rocking through his orgasm, panting with relief.

Tyler murmured, but did not wake. Josh slumped over him, moaning softly as his cock pulsed, throbbing inside Tyler.

He rolled over onto his side, gently pulling Tyler with him, cuddling him chest-to-chest. Tyler sighed and shifted, his movements tugging and squeezing Josh’s cock in a way that stopped his breath for a second. Tyler settled, and was still, nuzzling into Josh’s throat.

Josh let out a deep breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. Wow. Tyler must have been unbelievably tired to have slept through that.

It must have aroused him, though. Josh reached between them, gently grasping Tyler’s cock, and it only took a few strokes to have Tyler shuddering and whining into his throat, coming all over Josh’s stomach.

Tyler relaxed and settled again, and Josh sighed. He was pretty sure he could live with this.

 

Thursday morning found Josh exhaustedly licking at Tyler’s cock, so tired he thought he might fall asleep in Tyler’s lap, but determined to relieve him at least one more time.

He sucked the head into his mouth, tongue flattening around the velvety underside, hand working the rest of Tyler’s length.

Tyler had said he’d heard a rumour that alpha cock tasted amazing during a rut – Josh wondered if the same was true for omegas in heat, because he swore the precum beaded at the tip of Tyler’s cock had a sweet richness to it, not like the bitterness he was used to. Tyler had a poor diet, and his cock tasted of it, usually. Now, though? Either his tastebuds were being affected by rut hormones as well as the rest of his body, or Tyler really did taste better than usual.

He hummed, bobbing down along Tyler’s length, relaxing his throat and jaw to take as much of Tyler as he could. His nose brushed into the soft curls at the base of Tyler’s cock, forehead pressing into his warm belly. Tyler moaned, hips lifting, and Josh braced himself as his cock hit the back of his throat, tickling his gag reflex.

Tyler thrusted again, and Josh rolled with it, letting Tyler fuck sleepily into his mouth. He hummed and flattened his tongue against Tyler’s cock, and Tyler moaned, hands reaching down to tangle and grip into Josh’s hair.

Josh was pretty sure that meant Tyler was awake. Fingers tightened in his curls, and Tyler panted loudly, letting out soft, short whines.

“F-fuck,” Tyler whimpered, hips stuttering. “Josh -”

He cried out, and warm spurts flooded down Josh’s throat, threatening to choke him. Josh swallowed, and Tyler whimpered, twitching with oversensitivity.

Josh cleaned the last of Tyler’s cum with his tongue – the taste was different, he was sure of it, rich and faintly sweet, and he kind of loved it.

Tyler whimpered and tugged at Josh’s hair, pulling him up. He brought Josh up to his face, pressing their foreheads together, and kissed him sleepily.

“G’morning,” Josh said, pulling away to nose at Tyler’s throat.

“Hmm,” Tyler sighed. “Good morning indeed. That was nice.”

“How do you feel?” Josh asked. “Feel like you got some decent sleep?”

Tyler nodded, hands sliding around Josh to pull him into an embrace. “Yeah, actually,” he said. “I feel good. Not so tired. And my balls don’t hurt, so there’s that.”

Josh laughed. “Thank god for that. Also, if you don’t mind, I’m going to sleep for a bit, now.”

“That’s fair,” Tyler said. “Thank you for taking care of me. Was it okay?”

“Yeah, it was alright,” Josh said. He shifted, settling down against Tyler, shutting his eyes. “I was surprised you didn’t wake up at all, though. I was so worried I’d wake you.”

Tyler stroked a hand absently through his hair, fingers twisting his curls. “I guess I was just really exhausted. Was it just handjobs?”

“Mostly,” Josh said sheepishly. “I, uh, may have also knotted you at one point.”

He’d been worried Tyler might have been annoyed or alarmed, but to his relief, Tyler started to shake with laughter. “Oh my god. You knotted me and I didn’t even wake up. That’s incredible – either you’re really goddamn gentle, or I was really bone tired.”

“I did try to be gentle,” Josh said, flushing a little. “I just really didn’t want to wake you.”

“I’m honestly so impressed,” Tyler said. He laughed again, ruffling Josh’s hair affectionately. “Go to sleep, baby, I think you deserve it after that.”

Josh nodded, and snuggled down against Tyler. Tyler chuckled a little more, then fell still, hands continuing to card through Josh’s hair.

It was the last thing Josh was aware of, before drifting off into sleep.

 

-

 

The next month found them on tour, rolling across some unrecognisable expanse of the Arizona desert in the tour bus.

Mark was lost in editing pieces of footage on his laptop, determined to get the next highlight video out by the end of the week. Jordan was messing around on his phone, while Brad was flicking through photos on his camera, attempting to determine the better of ten photos that all appeared identical to Josh’s untrained eyes.

Josh had been playing Pokemon Go, and arguing with Brad that he didn’t need a Vaporeon to beat him in a gym battle (and Vaporeons sucked anyway... at least, they had since Brad had caught one and not Josh), when a familiar sensation caught him in the stomach like a kick.

Brad raised his eyebrows, picking up on the change in Josh’s scent. “That time of the month, huh?” the unsympathetic beta snickered.

Josh snorted, ignoring the prickling sensation spreading across his skin. “Whatever. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, so long as we don’t let him watch any Disney movies,” Mark said drily. “Remember when we thought cartoons would be safe?”

They had been woefully wrong. Desperate to watch something that wouldn’t end every episode with Josh in tears, the band crew had even tried to watch Steven Universe. They had never made such a terrible mistake.

The only alpha on the bus, and thus devoid of any empathetic friends, Josh made a hurt face. Things had been better when Michael was still touring with them, a fellow alpha who’d been strictly banned from Buffy the Vampire Slayer after being found inconsolable after watching the first season’s final. At least Michael had patted his shoulder sympathetically when they’d found out Amethyst’s backstory.

“Whatever, I’m going to see Tyler,” Josh grumbled.

Mark snickered. “I bet you are,” he said, and Josh groaned, gently shoving the omega’s shoulder.

“You guys are the worst,” Josh muttered, retreating to the bunks.

There, he found Tyler asleep in his bunk. He crawled inside with him, carefully maneuvering over him to settle behind Tyler in a spooning position, pulling his arms around Tyler’s waist.

Tyler shifted. “Hello,” he said sleepily. “You smell great.”

“So do you,” Josh said. Tyler was back on continuous suppressants, but faint traces of pheromones still permeated his scent. His medicated heat had kicked in that morning, and he’d spent most of it either sleeping or dragging Josh into the bathroom for quick, inelegant fucks.

With his rut now synced with Tyler’s heat, Josh was responding strongly to his pheromones, arousal burning in his stomach each time he breathed in Tyler’s scent.

It wasn’t as bad as it had been when he’d started that rut right after Tyler’s full heat – there were enough pheromones in Tyler’s scent now to keep him soothed and functional.

However, it was different again to when they’d spent their rut and heat together – Tyler’s medicated heat was nothing on a full heat. He was horny and feverish, but nothing on the level of hapless desperation his full heat threw him into, and so Josh’s brain wasn’t receiving the same degree of pheromonal commands to satisfy Tyler’s needs.

This time, they were both kind of horny, kind of uncomfortable, overemotional on Josh’s part and kind of distracted, but they were also mostly functional. They wouldn’t have any problem playing shows or doing press. And as long as they stayed close to each other and gave themselves plenty of private time to relieve their urges, they’d be fine.

Tyler whined, grinding his ass into Josh’s crotch. “Josh, please.”

“Are you serious?” Josh groaned – calling bunk sex a challenge was putting it lightly. There just wasn’t enough room to do it comfortably, or without the rest of the bus’s occupants being painfully aware of what they were up to.

“Someone just went to the bathroom to shower, and I want it now,” Tyler pleaded. “Gimme your cock, Josh. I need it.”

“Want it presented to you on a silver platter?” Josh grumbled, but in all honesty, his jeans were already painfully tight and he was having a hard time with the concept of saying no to Tyler right now.

“Yeah, garnished with parsley,” Tyler snorted. “Stick it in my ass already, Josh.”

Josh responded with a grunt, struggling to shove his jeans down and kick them off. When his legs and cock were free, he helped Tyler with his pants, and took hold of Tyler’s hips.

“Josh, please,” Tyler whimpered, rubbing up against Josh’s bare cock. Josh sucked in a shuddering breath.

“Hold on, I got you,” Josh murmured, aligning himself and pressing into Tyler’s ass. Tyler responded with a weak moan, pushing back eagerly onto Josh’s cock.

“Shh, baby, you’ve got to be quiet,” Josh hissed, reaching a hand around to cover Tyler’s mouth.

Tyler, by now desperate and incoherent, moaned against Josh’s hand. He kissed and licked at Josh’s fingers, sucking his index and middle finger into his mouth, coating them in saliva. Josh couldn’t stop the groan that ripped through his chest at the sensation of Tyler’s tongue working between his fingers, giving him more pleasure than he would have expected to get from having his fingers sucked.

Josh gathered himself and thrusted into Tyler, panting hard into Tyler’s neck. Tyler continued to whine with Josh’s fingers in his mouth, pushing back to meet Josh’s thrusts, panting noisily. Too noisily.

Someone pulled the curtain of the bunk section across, and Josh froze, trapping Tyler against his chest. Tyler had the good sense to stop whining, falling silent but for his short, sharp breaths. Josh could feel Tyler’s heart thudding through his back into his chest.

Mark groaned. “It fucking stinks in here, you two,” he complained.

“Bathroom’s taken,” Josh said, not helpfully.

“Ugh, I told Jordan I wanted to piss before he got into the shower,” Mark grumbled. “Great. Keep it down, guys.”

Mark left, and after a beat of stunned silence, Josh resumed his furious pace, clinging onto a writhing Tyler.

It didn’t take long to reach his peak, shuddering and gasping into Tyler’s shoulder. He couldn’t stop himself biting into it, tasting Tyler’s sweat and scent as he came into him, filling him up.

Tyler moaned softly at the fullness, and Josh took his fingers from Tyler’s mouth to stroke his cock, bringing Tyler to his own climax. Tyler shuddered against him, gasping and shoving a shirt over his crotch in time to avoid splattering cum all over the bunk.

“Nice catch,” Josh said wearily, hearing his voice crack.

“Thanks,” Tyler mumbled, twitching as he wiped off his oversensitive cock. “Fuck. Ooh, Josh.”

He moaned softly, rotating his hips to feel Josh inside him, and Josh shuddered as the movement squeezed and rocked his pulsing cock.

“H-hmm,” Josh sighed, pulling his arms around Tyler and resting his head in the crook of Tyler’s neck. “This is gonna be hell to clean up.”

Tyler giggled nervously. “Let’s not worry about that until your cock gets soft, okay? Just cuddle me.”

 

Chapter 5: In which Josh gets irrationally upset over dressing rooms, and they go public and everyone assumes it's a joke

Summary:

Can you believe this started as “lol it’d be hot to have josh walk in on tyler jacking off” and ended with an emotional heart-to-heart and heartwarming resolution, with a slice of drama towards the end?
even when I try to write straight-up smut I find a way to insert cheesy heartfelt conversations about life, love and the universe why am I like this

Also, thank you all so much for the ideas and suggestions! They're very much appreciated, and you may see some of them pop up in the next few chapters <3

Final thing, trigger warnings for panic/anxiety attacks and dissociation for the Starbucks part of the chapter. Stay safe, folks.

Chapter Text

Later that week, Tyler and Josh were given separate dressing rooms. Needless to say, Josh was not impressed.

“How could they do that?!” he exploded. “We’re not – we’re not two separate acts, we don’t need two dressing rooms, we’re dating for Christ’s sake -”

“They don’t know that part,” Tyler reminded him.

For the most part, they’d kept their relationship under wraps. It wasn’t that they were worried about the fact getting out; hell, half the clique had already worked it out, and Josh certainly didn’t help douse the fire when he posted frequent Snaps of the pair cuddling.

Especially during meet and greets over the past week. Each fan had a good minute or so to say hi and take pictures, and even despite fans’ typical overwhelmed, overexcited states, they didn’t need more than a minute to work that 1. Josh smelled of an alpha in rut, and 2. Tyler smelled of an omega in half-heat. And it didn’t take fans long to work out that their coinciding heat/rut was no accident.

Rumours and stories flew over the internet, and neither Tyler nor Josh was in any hurry to dispel them. Their close friends, tour crew and family knew, so it wasn’t like they had to worry about weird rumours getting back to their parents.

But as far as the general public was concerned, rumours were just rumours. Josh and Tyler hadn’t liked the idea of the label or industry exploiting their relationship in any way, and besides, did the organiser of every venue need to know? Tyler and Josh hadn’t publicly confirmed the relationship, so other than the odd baseless article from some poorly-rated gossip magazine, they were treated as friends.

Which was fine for the most part – they hadn’t wanted a big fuss, or to be treated differently, so they were happy with the arrangement.

Until now.

“I’m going to talk to the venue manager,” Josh huffed. “This isn’t okay. I’m not taking a separate dressing room!”

“You’re blowing this way out of proportion,” Tyler snorted. “It’s just a dressing room – go in and get changed, and come back and hang out with me if it bothers you so much. The only difference is your stuff just happens to be in another room.”

“I don’t like that!” Josh insisted. “I want my stuff here. With yours.”

He stood up. “I’m going to complain,” he said darkly.

Tyler tried to hide a laugh. “You’re being a diva, Josh. What next, colour-coded M&M’s?”

“It’s not funny!” Josh snapped. He dramatically pushed the couch over – which would have looked impressive if the couch wasn’t a cheap flatpack plywood thing with a few sad cushions – and stormed out.

Tyler let go of the laugh he’d been holding while Josh had been stomping around the room, and chuckled quietly to himself. He righted the fallen couch. Then he’d started putting on his stage makeup.

It didn’t take long for Josh to return. When he did, his face twisted up into a miserable expression.

“They won’t let me share your dressing room,” he said.

“You didn’t yell or threaten them, did you?” Tyler asked.

“Of course not!” Josh said, sounding offended. “I was nice enough about it. I said, hi, I was just wondering if it was okay if I moved my stuff into Tyler’s dressing room, since we usually share. I said, we’re not used to taking separate dressing rooms and it feels really weird. And they said, tough luck, but the room’s booked, so no. So I said thank you, walked off, and tried not to look as upset as I felt.”

He chewed his lip. “I wanted to share with you,” he said pathetically.

Tyler knew that voice. He sighed, putting down the black makeup and standing up. “Oh, c’mere,” he said, pulling Josh into a hug just as he started sniffling.

“It’s just a room, alright? Bring your clothes and stuff in here, grab a couple of Cokes. You’ll have to leave your stuff in the other room, but hang out in here, okay? They can’t stop you doing that.”

“S’not fair,” Josh said wetly into Tyler’s shoulder. “Wanted to share with you.”

“I know, I know,” Tyler soothed. “It sucks. I like sharing too. But we’re not public, remember? They don’t know what’s going on. Which we agreed on, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Josh mumbled. “I’m liking it less and less, though.”

Tyler blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Josh said. “Like... I know why we’re doing it. We want to keep it lowkey, we don’t want a huge fuss, we don’t want the label or promoters to try to force us into a romantic angle for press or something. We want things to go along the same way they always have. But, I mean...”

Josh sniffed loudly, and continued. “The clique knows,” he said. “Half the gossip mags have sniffed it out. At this point, PR’s trying desperately to make out that we’re not dating, that the gossip mags are lying, that we’re just the same old platonic buddies we’ve always been. Which is super ironic.”

He laughed darkly. “What if the separate dressing rooms is another way they’re trying to dispel rumours? We’re too close. They want to show us as separate, as not needing shared dressing rooms, because we’re just best buddies and nothing more, aren’t we?”

Tyler sighed. “How long has this been bothering you?” he asked. “You should have told me this.”

“I am telling you,” Josh said. “I really wasn’t bothered until now. It’s only now that I’m really thinking about it, and I’m thinking, it kinda sucks.”

“It does suck,” Tyler agreed. He sighed. “You want to do something about it?”

Josh blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not?” Tyler said. “We’ll talk to PR first, let them know we’re dating and planning on going public. Then we’ll keep it lowkey, I guess. Tweet about liking each other’s butts or something.”

Josh giggled. “That sounds nice. The clique will love that.”

“Yeah, and if we make a point of keeping it lowkey, hopefully PR and promoters will take the hint. I mean, what’s changed, really? We’re still doing all the same stuff we always have.”

“Except now we’re fucking.”

“Okay, true.”

Josh calmed down, and Tyler helped him carry his stage clothes, stage makeup, and a couple of cans of Coke from Josh’s dressing room to his own. Josh got changed, and then happily sat cross-legged next to Tyler’s legs to share his mirror while they put on their stage makeup together.

“Hey, Ty,” Josh said once he’d finished ringing his eyes in red.

“Hmm?” Tyler said, busily rubbing black paint into his hands. He’d been using a different brand lately, and though it was less liable to rub off on everything he touched, it wasn’t as opaquely black.

“I’m sorry,” Josh said. “For acting like a baby, pushing the couch over. That was immature.”

Tyler laughed, reaching down to pull Josh’s head to lean against his leg, scratching through Josh’s hair. “It’s alright, baby,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. You were upset.”

“But I reacted in a totally inappropriate way, and that wasn’t fair,” Josh insisted. “Also, thank you for keeping your cool while I was being a baby. You could have gotten mad, but you didn’t.”

“If I did that, you would have gotten even more upset,” Tyler pointed out. Josh nodded shamefacedly.

“Besides, I told you, it’s alright,” Tyler said. “You’re in a rut right now, so of course you’re gonna react more strongly to stuff than usual, you know? Your head is all hormonal, and that’s okay. We can deal with that. And besides, no harm done. Except maybe to the couch, and your dignity.”

“Maybe,” Josh said sheepishly. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Tyler said, leaning down and kissing the top of Josh’s head. “Just don’t go tipping over couches next time, yeah?”

The pair left to wait to go onstage, and if the fans noticed Josh looked in an especially good mood, or Tyler making especially brash declarations of love for Josh (which were just jokes, right? Like they always were? Just jokes?) onstage, then that might have been coincidence.

 

Afterwards, Josh was on meeting-fans duty, so after quickly changing and cleaning off his makeup, he left Tyler to meet fans outside.

The crowds got bigger and bigger every show, it seemed. It was only in the past few shows they’d begun testing the process of meeting fans after shows again, after the task had become way too big to control or even attempt when they’d started getting bigger.

Things had calmed down since, but Josh was pretty sure it’d get crazy again once their next album came out. Determined to show fans they hadn’t forgotten them, though, Tyler had decided the occasional surprise post-show meet and greet could work.

It did, barely. Josh went back inside feeling kind of overwhelmed, with sore cheeks from smiling for hundreds of photos, and carrying armfuls of gifts. Also kind of exhilarated, because kids’ excitement always rubbed off on him, and it was just always kind of amazing to meet kids who loved your music and got so much joy from, what, getting to say hi to you?

 

He returned to his dressing room, setting down the presents to go through later, and returned to Tyler’s dressing room.

He knocked on the door. There was no answer. Confused, he twisted the doorknob.

 

“Tyler?” he asked warily as he pushed the door open. Maybe he’d gone to talk to Mark or something.

He was about to leave when he heard frantic panting, and the shuffling of fabric. Josh stepped into the room, looking around.

“Tyler?” he said incredulously, eyes going wide.

Tyler was sprawled out on the couch, back arching as he thrusted frantically into his hand, shirt lifted and pants halfway off, like he’d been too desperate to get his clothes off properly before jacking off.

Tyler turned his head to face Josh, half-lidded eyes fluttering. “Close the door,” he panted. “Get over here, I need you.”

“Jesus, Ty,” Josh said, closing the door behind him, and remembering to lock it. He could feel his face flushing and pants tightening. “What if I’d been Mark, or Brad?”

“Then you would have walked right out and hoped I hadn’t noticed you walk in,” Tyler said. “And hopefully pretended it never happened. I knew you’d walk in eventually, though.”

“You were waiting for me?” Josh asked. Tyler laughed.

“You could put it like that,” he said. “I’ve already come, like, three times.”

“Well, might as well go for four,” Josh mumbled, walking across to the couch. Tyler sat up, waiting for Josh to sit, and immediately crawled into his lap, nuzzling into Josh’s neck.

“Hmm, missed you,” Tyler sighed. “How were the fans?”

“In a word, loving,” Josh said, stroking his hands up Tyler’s sides. “We’ve got a ton of presents again.”

“Every show is like Christmas,” Tyler said gleefully. “I wonder if we got any more ski masks?”

“Four. We also got hand-knitted socks and a couple of t-shirts with each other’s faces on them. I think they wanted me to wear your face, and you to wear my face.”

“Nice. I love our fans.”

Tyler leaned in to kiss Josh, moaning softly into his mouth. His hips rolled, grinding mercilessly into Josh’s crotch and making him pull away to gasp.

“You’re insatiable,” Josh said, head starting to spin. “Ty, have you even washed off the black paint?”

“Does it matter?” Tyler whined. “Need you.”

Josh gave in, shifting Tyler back so he could strip off his jeans and boxers. Tyler helped, pulling them off his legs hungrily, before shedding himself of his own pants. For good measure, Tyler pulled off Josh’s shirt as well, leaning in to nip and suck at his throat, forming a trail of bites down his chest.

Hmm, please,” Tyler whimpered, rocking back against Josh’s cock. Josh stifled a groan, hips bucking involuntarily.

“Gimme a second,” Josh panted. “Are you ready?”

“I’ve been ready for a while,” Tyler said. “Don’t you worry about me.”

Josh slid his hands down Tyler’s sides, massaging and squeezing his ass. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. You know where my cock is.”

Tyler all but purred, hands wrapping around Josh’s rapidly swelling cock. He stroked it a couple times, letting it reach a size he was happy with, before sitting over it and sinking down on it with a moan.

It was a quick, messy fuck, Tyler keening slightly as he bounced on top of Josh, Josh able to do little more than buck his hips and hold on to Tyler’s waist. It didn’t take long for either of them to come, Tyler shuddering above Josh with a soft cry, balling the hem of his shirt over his cock to reduce the mess. The sight pushed Josh over the edge, and he sank into a blissful, warm haze as his cock began pulsing with Tyler squeezing around him, looking down at him with a heavy-lidded gaze.

Josh carefully sat up, shifting them so Tyler was in his lap against his chest, while he lay back against the armrest of the couch. Tyler settled into his arms with a sigh, trailing lazy kisses along his collarbones.

“We’re going to be inventive with how we clean this one up, too,” Josh said absently. Tyler shushed him.

“Don’t ruin it, this is nice,” Tyler said. “I like this. Nice way to end a show.”

Josh laughed. “I guess,” he said. “I wonder if the others are looking for us?”

“They can wait. Shush.”

Tyler lay humming against him for a moment, before looking up. “Hey,” he said. “I noticed something. In rut, when you get hard, your cock continues getting bigger until I get it in my ass. What happens if you’re just jacking off? It gets bigger indefinitely?”

Josh flushed. “It’s not like that,” he said. “Besides, you’ve seen me jack off. Hell, you’ve jacked me off yourself. It stops getting bigger eventually. If I get it inside something, though, like your ass, then it’ll stop.”

“So it fills whatever container it’s put in?”

Josh groaned. “Please don’t describe your ass as a container my dick is trying to fill. Especially not while said dick is in said ass.”

Tyler giggled.

 

Later, walking back to the bus, Mark noticed something.

“Hey, Josh,” he said, awkwardly gesturing at his neck. “You got a little something on, your, uh...”

Josh blinked and put a hand up to his neck. Tyler flushed deep red.

“What is it?” he asked.

Mark made a face. “A black handprint,” he said, glancing back at Tyler.

Josh groaned, while Tyler tried – and failed – to look innocent. “I asked you if you washed it off!”

“Did I ever actually answer that question?” Tyler asked guilelessly. “I don’t think I ever did. Gosh, Josh. So messy. You really should clean that off.”

He glanced back and poked his tongue out cheekily. Josh groaned. “I thought you got a better brand!”

“Well, it doesn’t seem to have passed the final test. I guess I’ll have to try a different brand,” Tyler said with a shrug.

“Tyler, I’m gonna kill you,” Josh said tiredly. “Right after I fuck you again.”

“Ooh, kinky,” Tyler responded. “Don’t get blood on the bunk.”

“You’re both aware that I’m still here, right?” Mark asked.

 

-

 

PR had been bemused, to say the least, when Tyler had called them about going public with his and Josh’s relationship.

“We’d honestly thought that was a rumour,” the girl on the other end of the phone said sheepishly. “Or, at least, we didn’t want the media forcing you two into anything.”

“Yeah, well, we didn’t want a huge fuss, which was why we kept it quiet,” Tyler explained. “Josh and I’ll tweet tonight or something, and that’s it. We don’t want a big deal.”

Josh broke the news first, while they were curled up on a bunk in the tour bus one night. He posted a cute Snap of him and Tyler kissing chastely, with a cheesy “boyfriends ~<3” caption. Then he’d posted another Snap of his and Tyler’s hands intertwined, with “not an April Fools”.

Then, amid the inevitable “was it a joke?!” “Is Josh’s Snapchat hacked?” speculations, Tyler tweeted.

“Some have you might have picked up on me and Josh being cuter than usual recently,” he said in a screenshot of a note on his phone. He’d always struggled with Twitter’s character limit, and he felt this announcement might take more than 140 characters to do properly.

“That’s not a coincidence. We’ve always joked about being close for platonic friends, and recently we’ve discovered each others’ feelings might not have been so platonic. So, we’re trying out the dating thing, and it seems to be working out. We both couldn’t be happier.
Alternatively; since you guys have shipped us for so long, we decided to finally give the people what they want and start dating. P.S. Josh is a good kisser.”

Despite the vast number of fans who’d speculated that they’d gotten together, there was still an incredible influx of “is it a joke?! Are they messing with us?!” tweets. So Tyler tweeted again.

“No, it’s not a joke, we’re dating for real. Pretty much the only thing that’s changed is Josh’s mom lets me stay the night in his room now.”

With that, Tyler smiled and locked his phone, settling into Josh’s chest. If people were still going to suspect them of playing a prank, let them – they’d work it out with time, when they realised he and Josh weren’t giving up the ‘joke’ anytime soon.

 

The next day, a quick-witted interviewer brought up the news.

“So, we saw you guys tweet last night,” she said. She was a bright-eyed girl with dyed green hair and a septum piercing. “Well, Tyler tweeted, Josh posted on Snapchat. Those of us who were paying attention will know you two basically announced that you’re in a relationship. And needless to say, there’s been a lot of speculation on the nature of the news – is it a prank? Are you guys for real?”

She smirked. “I know you guys love to troll us in interviews,” she said. Tyler immediately decided he liked her. She’d obviously done her research. “But for just this once, I’d like a serious answer, just to clear up confusion. Troll me all you want for the rest of the interview, if that helps.”

“Well, an offer like that is hard to resist,” Tyler sighed, making a show of pretending to consider her question. Josh laughed.

“We’re dating,” he said. Tyler snorted and shoved him, pretending to be annoyed that he’d given a straight answer.

“Well, Josh let the cat out of the bag,” Tyler said. “And, yes. We’re dating. For real.”

“Really?” the girl asked. “Congratulations! That’s so exciting. I’m sure it must have been a tricky process, though – a relationship on the road must be a challenge.”

“Well, to be honest, we’ve been in a band together long enough that any issues with closeness or touring together were already been worked out long before we started dating,” Tyler explained. “I mean, I learned to put up with Josh’s snoring, so. True love is not deaf, but certainly learns to use earplugs at night.”

Josh snorted. “Honestly, the only issue was figuring out how to fit comfortably in one bunk.”

“Do you get much time to go on dates on the road?” the girl asked.

“Define dates,” Tyler said, and both the girl and Josh laughed.

“We make sure to spend time alone together, sneak off the bus to get Taco Bell or something,” Josh said. “But for the most part, we can survive without proper dates. Just makes dates back home on breaks all that much more special.”

“And who asked who out?” the girl asked. “How did that conversation go?”

Both Josh and Tyler flushed.

The girl raised an eyebrow.

Tyler swallowed. “We didn’t really.. I don’t know that we officially asked each other or anything,” he said. “We just... there was a week where we spent a lot of time together, and I guess we became really aware of our feelings for each other. Josh admitted it first, though. Kind of by accident. And after that, we just... decided that was it. We were boyfriends. The end.”

“Aw, that’s cute,” the girl said. “How’d you let it slip, Josh?”

Josh went an even darker shade of red. “I was... not in a sober state of mind,” he said. “And that’s all I’m saying. My mom will be watching this.”

The girl laughed. “And there we thought you guys were perfect christian boys! Didn’t know you liked to party, Josh.”

“I misjudged my tolerance to alcohol at a family gathering,” Josh mumbled. “Anyway. Next question.”

The rest of the interview passed without incident, other than for Tyler’s traditional irreverent trolling – not a single answer he gave after the dating questions was a serious one.

 

After the interview, when the pair left, Josh let out a huge sigh of relief. “That was stressful.”

“It was okay until she started asking for details,” Tyler said. “Although I guess she wanted to pick a little, make really sure we weren’t pranking everyone. Force us to make it really clear.”

“Why didn’t we ask each other out like a normal couple?” Josh groaned. “What if people figure it out? Why if my mom figures it out?”

“She won’t,” Tyler said confidently. “She’ll find it weird that you’d claim to drunkenly confess at a family gathering considering there weren’t any family gatherings we went to that week, call you to press for answers, and then you’ll make up a story about bringing beers over to my place and that’ll be that. As for the fans, they’ll either be horrified at the prospect of you touching alcohol at all, or just think it’s really hilarious that you’d be the kind of person to drunkenly confess your feelings.”

“God,” Josh snorted. “Remember the cigarette incident? It wasn’t even mine.”

Tyler laughed. “Yeah, well, we have overprotective fans,” he said. “I guess that just kind of comes with the territory. It’ll be fine, though. Promise.”

As expected, fan response was a mix of adulations and congratulations, cynics still convinced they were trolling, and an Instagram influx of younger fans scandalised by the concept that Josh could have spent a day of his life less than stone-cold sober.

After the thousandth “Josh would never drink!!! he’s a Christian and my bean!!!” comment, Josh nearly wondered if it was worth letting them know the truth.

Best not.

He turned his notifications off, and left his phone in his pocket.

 

-

 

The next day was close to the end of Tyler’s heat and Josh’s rut, and with the decrease in hormones/pheromones that came with it, the pair felt able to risk going for a quick Starbucks date.

They had few enough chances to get out and explore while on the road, and heat/rut limited those chances further – not only were they distracted by the need for sex, preferring to spend their free time fucking clumsily on the bus or in hotel rooms instead of touristing, but even half-heats and corresponding lowkey ruts came with difficulties in public.

In public, Josh was typically worried about Tyler – after seeing what had happened the first time he’d seen him in a full heat, he was nervous to risk Tyler getting pounced on again.

So when Tyler and Josh were waiting for their coffee orders, Josh was almost more surprised than scared when a taller omega snuck behind him and hovered close to his neck, invading his space.

“Close to the end of your rut, huh?” the woman asked. Josh was too stunned to answer. Tyler whipped around, eyes burning into the stranger.

The woman laughed. “Poor thing, you’re doing ruts with a wimp on suppressants,” she said. “What a waste of an alpha like you. Want a real omega to show you a real good time? Let’s make the most of that last day or so, hey?”

She slid a hand around Josh’s waist, and he shuddered – it was too close, too much, and as much as he didn’t want to be rude and shove her away, his instincts were screaming for escape. He didn’t want this.

“Let me take care of you,” she said, and Josh felt the “No, thank you,” stick painfully in his throat.

“You need to leave,” Tyler growled, stepping closer to stare the woman down. She glanced at him dismissively, and her hand tightened on Josh’s waist, nails pricking him painfully through his t-shirt.

“Poor baby can’t even handle a full heat,” she snorted. “Pathetic. What’re you gonna do to me?”

“Do you want to find out?” Tyler asked.

“Excuse me!” a teenager in a Starbucks uniform said shrilly. She didn’t look old enough to have even presented, but there was a “manager” tag pinned to her shirt, and she marched up to the group, hands in fists. “I don’t know what’s going on, but if you have a problem with each other, you need to leave. No fights or scuffles in here. If you don’t settle down or leave, I’ll call the police.”

The woman scowled at her, but her hand disappeared from Josh’s waist, and she slunk away. Josh sucked in a deep breath when she was gone, not realising that he’d barely breathed since she’d approached.

Tyler looked livid, grabbing possessively onto Josh’s arm. “The fucking nerve,” he spat. “You could have pushed her away, you know. There was no need for her to make you uncomfortable like that.”

“C-couldn’t,” Josh stammered, and Tyler’s furious expression melted into one of concern.

“Babe, you okay?” he asked. Josh shook his head.

“I’m taking you out of here,” Tyler said, gently leading Josh out of the Starbucks. He brought him over to one of the tables set up outside the cafe, and sat Josh down, massaging firm, soothing circles into his shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten aggressive,” Tyler said softly. “But everything’s okay, alright? She’s gone. You’re okay.”

“Not – not used to that,” Josh said, sucking in another breath. Tyler pulled over another chair close to his, and pulled Josh into a hug. Josh shuddered, clinging to Tyler’s shirt, sucking in gulpfuls of his scent. He was starting to feel dizzy.

“D-didn’t want to push her,” he said. “Can you imagine how that would have looked? Not even just a man pushing a woman, an alpha pushing an omega.”
He laughed hollowly. “Couldn’t do that. No way.”

“Fuck that,” Tyler said darkly. “She had no right. She was freaking you out. And who propositions a dude in a fucking Starbucks in the middle of the day, anyway?”

“She was about to go in heat,” Josh said. “Could smell it. I guess she was looking for an alpha for company, I don’t know.”

“Well, that’s completely the wrong way to go about it. Some people might be into it, god, who knows. But not everyone, and certainly not you. Omega or not, that was fucking inappropriate of her to do that.”

Tyler squeezed Josh’s shoulder reassuringly. “I’m sorry that happened. That was awful for you.”

“Yeah,” Josh said, still struggling not to faint, or straight-up leave his head.

It seemed ridiculous to him – all she’d done was approach him, get into his personal space, make a few lewd comments. It wasn’t like she’d hurt him or something.

So why was his skin crawling? Why did he feel so violated?

It wasn’t like he couldn’t have overpowered her, either, if she’d become aggressive or forceful. And yet... could he have? He still felt like something would have stopped him, that whatever self-preservation instincts he might have had would simply fail because he just didn’t want to hurt anyone.

He shuddered, feeling very vulnerable all of a sudden, as if there were similar creeps waiting around every corner. “Can we go back to the hotel?”
Tyler squeezed him gently. “Of course.”

They were halfway back to the bus when Josh’s stomach clenched. “Our coffee!”

“It’s fine,” Tyler said, rubbing his shoulder. “Last thing you need is caffeine right now, anyway. It’s alright, babe, we’ll grab a drink in the hotel.”

“But our date,” Josh said, and then he couldn’t speak, painful sobs forcing themselves out of his throat as his vision blurred, and fuck, why couldn’t he just stop crying, he looked ridiculous, but the loss of one of their precious few dates hurt so much, and it was all his fault.

And then Tyler was pulling him against his chest, murmuring softly and stroking Josh’s hair, and Josh was sobbing into his neck like the world had just imploded around them.

“It’s okay,” Tyler soothed. “It’s alright. There’ll be other times. Besides, we can just have a night in, a date night in. No show tonight, so we can stay in the hotel room, order room service, watch a movie. I know the guys wanted to eat out together at Taco Bell or something, but we can do that another time.”

Josh wanted to say that they didn’t have to do that, he didn’t want to let down Brad and Mark and the others, he didn’t want a fuss or a drama, but he couldn’t stop long enough to swallow the lump in his throat and get the words out.

And besides, a night alone in the hotel with a movie and room service sounded really nice, and he didn’t want to pretend like he didn’t want it. He wanted to just give in and say yes.

“The others won’t mind,” Tyler continued – almost like he’d read Josh’s mind. “They’ll understand. And if not, they’ll get over it. It’s alright. Let’s just take care of you, yeah?”

The most frustrating thing was being unable to say ‘thank you’. Josh squeezed Tyler tightly, hoping that sent the message.

 

Later in the hotel, after room service trays laden with pizza and junk food had been wheeled in by bemused hotel staff, Josh snuggled up to Tyler on the double bed with a laptop and some animated Dreamworks alien movie playing, feeling a ton better.

“You’re gonna be vibrating by the end of the movie,” Josh chided, when Tyler crawled in next to him with two cans of Red Bull.

Tyler snorted. “I’ll be fine,” he said. “Pizza?”

Josh nodded, and Tyler held a slice out in front of his face, insisting on hand-feeding him. Josh snorted and took a bite, feeling very much like his heart was about to burst.

When the movie ended (Josh only cried once this time), Josh tapped gently on Tyler’s shoulder.

“Ty? You still awake?”

Tyler had half-fallen asleep, but roused himself to pay attention. “Hmmhh?”

“I just wanted to say,” Josh said, glancing down at his hands. “Thank you, for today. You were amazing. I don’t know how I would have dealt with that by myself – I don’t want to think about what would have happened if you weren’t there. I really appreciate it, Ty.”

Tyler laughed softly, kissing the top of Josh’s head. “Like I would do anything less,” he said. “Besides, let’s be honest, I was getting possessive. Probably not a good thing.”

“Yeah, but you immediately took care of me when you realised I was upset,” Josh said. “You were perfect.”

He swallowed. “I keep thinking about what she said – the half-heat thing. That, that wasn’t fair.”

Tyler shut his eyes. “So do I,” he admitted. “And, I mean, she’s not wrong. Biologically, we’re supposed to be able to suffer a full heat without too many problems. We didn’t have suppressants when we evolved, so why can’t I cope without them?”

He sighed. “Maybe it’s because I’m a male omega. Or, at least, assigned male at birth, you know. We’re... not really meant to happen, are we? It’s fucking weird. Maybe my biology isn’t compatible with omega biology, like it just doesn’t all fit together properly, which is why I get so sick on my own. Maybe people like me were supposed to get exhausted and die out, let natural selection weed us out, but we fucked everything up and invented suppressants.”

“Don’t say that,” Josh said firmly. “C’mon. You’re no less of an omega because you need suppressants. Fuck, Ty, my last girlfriend was on suppressants too – she had an awful heat, just like you. And she’s a cis girl, so, it’s not that – some people just simply get it worse than others. And christ, you’re definitely no less of a person for being a male omega.”

Tyler pressed his lips together. “We’re not normal. Shit, we’re rare even as far as omegas go. Minority within a minority.”

“Yeah? Just makes you more special,” Josh said. Tyler snorted.

“Seriously,” Josh said, reaching up to kiss Tyler’s cheek. “You’re amazing, okay? You’re an amazing person, and an amazing omega, and all the stronger and more amazing for being exactly what you are. You fight with your head, you fight with your body, and still come out on top more often than not.”

He shimmied up, sitting up to face Tyler. “I watch all that, you know,” he said. “I see what you go through. You go through incredible struggles, physically and mentally, and all most people see of it is from the music. But I get to watch you come out on top and beat your demons every time. It’s honestly inspiring, and it’s a privilege being able to know you as well as I do, know the full extent of what a strong, special person you are.”

Tyler flushed. “You’re getting cheesy,” he said, leaning in to kiss Josh.

“Besides,” he said, pulling away, “you help a lot. Remember the early days of the band? I’d have never gotten through that without you. You kept reminding me why we were doing it, what it was worth, that it was worth it, and you kept me going.”

Josh flushed. “Now you’re getting cheesy,” he said, and Tyler laughed, pulling Josh down to the bed for a kiss.