Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2018-04-14
Completed:
2018-05-09
Words:
2,808
Chapters:
2/2
Comments:
23
Kudos:
581
Bookmarks:
52
Hits:
4,499

Why do you love me?

Summary:

Zen comes home late, intoxicated, with tears in his eyes and his passion flickering out.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Why do you love me?

Chapter Text

Jumin knew that Zen was auditioning for a part today, but it was already 11:36 pm and he still wasn’t home. Normally when Zen was late, he had the decency to send a text. There was nothing of the sort. Jumin’s phone had been silent all day. The businessman sat on the couch, staring into his empty wine glass. His mind was swirling with horrid scenarios and he could feel his heart beating faster with dread. Suddenly he heard the familiar beeping of the keypad. He set down his wine glass and stood up.

“Finally. Where were-” He trailed off, eyes widening as he took in the state Zen had arrived in. His eyes were red from crying, but dulled. Jumin couldn’t see any traces of the passion the actor possessed, and that scared him. His boyfriend’s  face was streaked with dried tears, that he hadn’t bothered to wipe off. His gait was wobbly, stumbling and swaying to the couch and plopping down. He looked dully at his hands.

 

“I need a beer.” He whispered. His voice was so soft, Jumin had to strain to hear it. And if his impaired movements were any indicator, it seemed the actor had been drinking all evening.

 

“No you don’t,” Jumin said firmly. “You’ve had enough.”

 

“I’ve had enough when I forget.” The actor looked up with those dulled eyes. It hurt to look at. The dark-haired man sat down next to Zen and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in to lean on his chest.

 

“What are you trying to forget?”

 

Zen shook his head vehemently. Jumin looked at the empty wine glass on the table, trying to figure out how to get his boyfriend to confide in him. Suddenly Zen began to quiver, letting out a choked sob. The white-haired man buried his face in Jumin’s chest, trying to muffle the gasping breaths.

 

“Hyun. What happened?” Jumin’s concern was growing. If there was any doubt before, it dissipated. Zen was drunk. He only clung to people like this when he was sleepy or intoxicated, and today it seemed to be the latter.

 

“Didn’t get the part.” He muttered. The corporate-heir knew that wasn’t all. Zen had lost parts before. Zen had often felt bad, but he had always been motivated to try harder. Zen had always bounced back in the matter of minutes. This was different. Something more had happened. Before he could press further, Zen pulled away, looking at him with those sad, lifeless eyes.

 

“Why do you love me?” His voice wavered slightly, as if he was scared of what Jumin would say.

 

“Your passion.” His response was immediate, due to many nights wondering how he had fallen for that beautiful man. Questioning what had drawn him to the actor. And he had figured out the answer. His passion. The way his eyes lit up on stage. The way he embodied the character. It was magical. That’s what captivated Jumin, like a moth to a flame. But that passion was flickering now, barely there in his eyes, and seeing Zen like that was breaking Jumin’s heart.

 

The actor’s eyes widened marginally. “It’s… It’s not my looks?”

 

“Well, I will admit you are handsome. But no, that’s not the reason I fell in love. Looks have no meaning to me. It’s the person that matters. If I had cared about looks, I would have ended up like my father.” Zen fisted his hands in Jumin’s shirt after hearing his explanation. He was crying again, not sobbing like before, but silent tears slipping down his cheeks.

 

“They said I wasn’t popular enough. They wanted someone on the top. More talent. Less raw, ” He spat out bitterly. “Th-then they said that with a pretty face like mine, I could…” He trailed off, tears falling faster. Jumin began to brush them away, kissing the tip of Zen’s nose.

 

“It’s okay.. You don’t have to tell me immediately. Take your time.” He whispered. Zen’s cheeks were red with drunkeness, and Jumin cupped them in his hands and pressed their foreheads together.

 

The actor’s voice was quiet as he spoke again. “They said w-with a face like mine I could… do favors and I’d get to the top in no time. They made… made motions with their hands…” His hands released the material of Jumin’s shirt and made a circle with his index finger and his thumb with one and moved the index finger of his other hand in and out of it. Jumin saw red. He took Zen’s trembling hands into his own, effectively stopping that motion and scowled.

 

“Who was it?” His voice had shot from soothing to menacing in an instant. Zen shook his head again.

 

“I-it’s fine,” Zen whispered, turning away. Jumin gently curled his fingers under the actor’s chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. His red ones were swimming with tears.

 

“It isn’t fine. No one gets away with treating my boyfriend like that. No one.” The white-haired man suddenly lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Jumin’s middle and clinging to him like a lifeline. Jumin gripped the sofa in an effort to keep himself steady, bringing his other hand around to stroke Zen’s hair.

 

“Thank you… I know I don’t have much to offer so… thank you for choosing me.”

 

Jumin sighed. He didn’t think he’d get an answer out of Zen today, judging by the way the actor’s eyes were drooping. The tears had stopped, and he could hear the smallest hiccups every now and then. Jumin tried to rouse Zen enough to get him to the bedroom, but the other man was stubborn, hands firmly fisted in the back of his shirt. The CEO-in-line shifted so that Zen was lying with his head in his lap, before running his hands through the long, silky, white hair again. Before long, there was only the steady breathing of the two men in sync, as Jumin fell asleep on the couch. His head had rolled back, resting on the cushions, empty wine glass long forgotten and his hand still buried in his lover’s hair.