Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I remember the time Ben tried gagh for the first time.” Jadzia grinned as Ziyal declined the plate of worms.
“That’s Curzon, isn’t it?” Kira asked.
“Yep. Young Mr. Sisko had always stayed away from Klingon food, but no mentee of Curzon was going to embarrass him by never having even tried gagh. He was weirdly proud when Ben didn’t immediately hate it. As if he had anything to do with it.” Jadzia chuckled.
“Curzon mentored you and Captain Sisko, right?” Ziyal asked.
“Curzon observed me for my field training, but it was basically the same thing. Ben and I never met before I was joined, though, Jake was already born when I was an Initiate.”
“Is it weird having the memories of someone you knew? Can you remember conversations from both sides?" Ziyal asked.
“Yes,” Jadzia confirmed, “though I don’t really think about it much, from either perspective.”
“Why not?” Ziyal asked. “I mean, if it’s not too personal.”
“It wasn’t a fun time. As Jadzia, I was trying my best to prove myself as an Initiate, to prove I could handle being joined, to prove I was worthy of a symbiont. And Curzon had quite a reputation for being tough on Initiates, which he lived up to. And he terminated me from the program.”
“Never going to forgive him for that.” Kira added casually.
“He did endorse me when I reapplied.” Jadzia replied.
“You shouldn’t have had to.” Kira responded.
“And he did feel guilty about it.” Jadzia added.
“It doesn’t change the fact that he nearly ruined your life for no reason. I’m never going to forgive him for hurting you like that.” Kira stated seriously. Jadzia leaned across their small table to kiss Kira’s nasal ridges. “You better not have gotten gagh on my nose.” She said with a small smile.

“‘For no reason'?” Ziyal repeated.
“Curzon,” Jadzia sighed, “was attracted to me, a woman around 80 years his junior. He knew his attraction was immoral, so to save his reputation and not have to interact with me anymore, he terminated me. That’s why I don’t like remembering it from his perspective, either.” She frowned.
“Oh.” Ziyal’s eyes widened. “I- I can’t even imagine.”
“Curzon did loads of things you don’t even want to imagine.” Jadzia tried to joke. “Took Sisko to his first upscale strip club-”
“How about we finish lunch before you and I have to get back to Ops.” Kira interrupted. “If you have to tell stories about former hosts, please keep them safe for lunch.”
“Well you shouldn’t have said that, now all I can think of are stories that would be in bad taste.” Jadzia teased. Kira gave her an unamused look.

“Who was Dax’s first host?” Ziyal asked.
“Lela.” Jadzia grinned. “Oh, that was a different time. Trill still thought that men and women were so different that a symbiont should alternate the sex of the host each joining to experience the fullest range of life possible.”
“How different is it?” Ziyal asked.
“It’s more down to temperament than anything, at least among Trill.” Jadzia explained. “Tobin hoped that a woman’s memories would be a calming influence, but Lela had been a fireworks display of a politician. Emony hoped that a man’s memories would help her confidence, but Tobin had anxiety. Though Lela’s courage did help Tobin, and his patience did help Emony.”
“Who helps you the most?” Ziyal asked.
“It depends on the situation.” Jadzia shrugged. “Curzon’s memories are the most recent and therefore tend to be the most applicable, but Tobin, Torias, Lela, Audrid, all their memories can influence my reactions to things.”
“It was very nice when you tried to take me out for our anniversary.” Kira grinned, snickering when Jadzia put a hand to her face.
“What?” Ziyal asked glancing between them.
“One day Jadzia took me to Bajor for some real veklava and hasperat, some traditional music, browsing the shops for a few hours.” Kira explained. “I had a great time, and I asked her if there was a special occasion on the runabout back. She smiled and said ‘It’s a good thing one of us remembers our anniversary’, and I said ‘Anniversary of what? The anniversary of our first date isn’t for two months’.”
“I’d remembered Lela’s anniversary.” Jadzia finished, nodding while Ziyal giggled.
“It was a very sweet surprise.” Kira squeezed Jadzia’s hand. "You don't mention Lela much, who was she married to?" 
"I don't tend to have reason to mention her." Jadzia shrugged. "She was married to an unjoined architect named Niesa Kotal. Niesa's biggest accomplishment was designing a new building for a university, she was so excited and proud to sign the contract." Jadzia smiled. "I remember when it was finished she brought Lela to see it. No clue what it looked like, Niesa was too beautiful for Lela to look away from." 
"Awwww." Ziyal grinned. 
"Like you?" Kira kissed Jadzia's cheek. 
"Awwww." Ziyal repeated more emphatically. 
"Quiet, you." Kira chuckled. "It's not that big a deal. I bet you don't do that to Julian and Garak." 
"I do, it makes me happy to see happy couples." Ziyal smiled, unrepentant. 
"We really should get back to Ops soon." Kira sighed.
“Jake and I are going to hang out and work on stuff together this afternoon, we’ll probably get dinner together.” Ziyal informed them as they all cleaned up their table. “See you later.”