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Published:
2020-05-10
Updated:
2020-05-15
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2,790
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2/3
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Judas Kiss

Summary:

Lost trust cannot be regained. It's a fragile, delicate, and sweet thing, which can break at the slightest impact if you’re not careful.

And when you realize it, it’s always an instant too late.

 

Suspected traitor Izuku AU

Notes:

I gave in to temptation. I wrote a fic on suspected traitor Izuku AU.

It popped up one day on Gentry’s blog, and since then, the monster has only grown. Here is my participation in the thing.

Have a good time!

And for those who want, here is a link to the original version (French version): https://ao3-rd-8.onrender.com/works/24107968

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: First part

Chapter Text

 

 

 

How?

 

 

 

How did they have reached that point?

 

 

 

Shouta was staring at the notebooks in front of him, tired. All of them were filled with sketches and organized scribble, dissecting quirks, strengths, and weaknesses of all heroes and persons that Midoriya had met for so many years.

 

Midoriya, who was known to be a trouble magnet. A smart child, easily emotional, a bit awkward but empathetic, and who tended to mumble for himself and to sacrifice for others.

 

He had expected an explosion of anger. An injustice cry. Tears. Nervous laughter. An attempt to prove his innocence. Anything.

 

He had met only dead eyes and a categorical "no".

 

Midoriya had fixed his notebooks for a long time, at that moment. The usually bright and luminous glow of his gaze replaced by a tired void.

 

Then, the child saw his classmates, and something seemed to break inside him.

 

"Is that how you see me?" the greenette simply asked.

 

In the heat of the moment, he had felt chills coming up in his back as Midoriya was sinking deeper and deeper into his thoughts. Shouta had tried to reason with him, to make him understand. But when he reached out to grab his shoulder, Midoriya had stepped back, with his head down, clearly refusing contact.

 

And he was just gone, apologizing after asking to be released in a muffled murmur.

 

He had not lifted his eyes from the ground as he passed through most of his comrades in the corridor.

 

"A mistake," Shouta said to himself. "All of that was a mistake."

 

But here was. The harm has been done, and now, he was alone with Midoriya's abandoned analysis spread out on his desk. He had sent away the students too curious, and was desperately thinking of a way to put things right with the child…

 

"Hypocrite,"  whispered a voice.

 

…If only there was one.

 

 

 

 

 

_____________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were noises in the corridor, then the door burst and unveiled a very furious Yagi Toshinori. The former number one hero joined the underground hero in just two strides, looking down on him with his flaming pupils as a rabid beast.

 

"What the hell was that ?"

 

The voice was thunders, ominous, and the perpetual smile was absent when he leaned over Shouta without taking his eyes off him. An aura of anger emanated from the old man, cold and hostile.

 

At that very instant, Shouta felt the fear's claws sinking in him.

 

They tended to forgot that Yagi was All Might when they saw him interacting with students in his lanky form. Gauche and clumsy, he looked a lot like Midoriya. But now that Shouta had just failed one of his most promising students in the worst possible way, he also had to deal with the glance that the greatest of heroes usually reserved for his enemies.

 

He couldn't prevent his body from contracting instinctively.

 

"Isn’t that what you are, after all?"  the voice whispered again.  "You betrayed Midoriya’s trust. You abandoned him, just as you abandoned Oboro."

 

"I want an answer, Eraser Head, " All Might said. "And I want it now ."

 

That was an extraordinary emotion that overflowed of the blond. An emotion that was not suitable for a simple teacher-student relationship. He was acting more like a parent protecting his child despite all opposition.

 

That's why they decided to set Yagi aside for this affair.

 

"That was necessary," he said, forcing his muscles to relax. "There is a traitor among us, and we have to find him. Midoriya is a good student, and will certainly make a great hero, but there were too many elements that questioned the authenticity of his actions. We had to clarify the situation."

 

Yagi, who was too personally involved.

 

"Clarify the situation? " All Might began to shake. "I just found the young Midoriya with dead eyes in the soul, avoiding absolutely everyone and fleeing  to my sight . Then, I hear rumors that he would be your alleged traitor? That you deceived him and cornered to get him to confess to something that he never did? It's that, for you, clarify a situation?"

 

Too emotionally compromised.

 

"And what? You arbitrarily decided that anyone who didn’t agree with your theory was kept in the dark? That, at worst, if you were wrong, which you did miserably, you would just apologize and everything would go back to normal?"

 

His hands gripped Shouta’s desk. The emaciated fingers gently tapped the boy’s notebooks while the blond’s eyes didn't leave his face. Shouta absolutely wanted to look away, but deep down, he was incapable of it.

 

"It never occurred to you to bring me up to speed? Did you ever think that maybe there were reasons for his behavior?"

 

After a few seconds, he finally swallowed, seeing that All Might was definitely waiting for explanations.

 

" It's your fault, Shouta. Accept your responsibilities."

 

"Currently, the only person we know who is capable of freely giving quirks represents a national threat, perhaps even a global one. And, with a few rare exceptions, the only things that can support more than one are Nomus. Are you going to blame us for make a face when Midoriya starts suddenly presenting a growing number of quirks?" Shouta began on the defensive. "Add to that all his notebooks full of analyses on the heroes and his classmates, the quirks dissected, the strengths and weaknesses revealed and studied in detail…"

 

He skimmed one of them while he was talking, everything to detach for a moment from the scrutineer gaze of an infuriated All Might. The blond grabbed one at is turn, the one with the burnt and damaged cover, and smoothly turned the pages without releasing the tension in the room.

 

On the contrary, it intensified.

 

"He bends over backward to protect everyone and that’s what you see in him? A traitor ? Because he has too many quirks and has hypergraphia?"

 

"Moreover," Shouta continued, bypassing All Might’s remark, "I discovered that just a few days before the entrance examination, Midoriya was diagnosed as quirkless."

 

"IT'S NOT A REASON!" Yagi yelled, and the erasure hero tried to suppress a chill.

 

The blond looked at him from all his height and let a silence soar. Then, with a lower voice, he continued.

 

"Since when to be a late bloomer or write analysis makes you a traitor? And if he really was, why didn’t the League used his knowledge? I must be the one who knows All For One the best in this school, and I wouldn’t see him miss a chance like that. He would use them shamelessly. But, no quirk is missing. No death is to be deplored within the school, and God knows they tried. Without Izuku and his will to save others, children, heroes, and some of his comrades would have  died . And this because of our incompetence."

 

Shouta tightened his jaw and closed the notebook he was currently holding. He raised his head to scrutinize All Might. The look of the old number one still made him uncomfortable, too intense to his taste. He nevertheless found the strength to support him and to pursue his argument, the dark voice.

 

"Look me in the eyes, All Might, and tell me that if it had been any other student, you would have reacted the same way. Tell me that you would have blindly believed him as you are doing with Midoriya right now, that you would have disregarded his background, and would have accepted any excuse he would present to explain all the strange things that are happening around him."

 

All Might looked back at him, his pupils vibrating with an almost supernatural blue.

 

"This is Midoriya we’re talking about, not another student," Yagi says vehemently.

 

"And that’s the problem. You can’t see the situation with an impartial eye."

 

Yagi giggled. "Because  you are , maybe?"

 

The words stab him, and he could only look at his hands. Shouta was at the end of his tether. Fighting All Might would be pointless.

 

"Only the truth hurts, Shouta. Accept it, you screwed up. It’s all your fault, and no one will forgive you. Yourself, you won't be able to. "

 

"Fuck," Yagi swore while massaging his temples. "Even the young Todoroki, yet a fervent follower of conspiracy theories finds this idea stupid."

 

He stepped back a few paces and sat next to him, freeing the space and the pressure that surrounded them. Now, he just seemed tired.

 

"Did he say anything when he left?" asked the blond after a while.

 

Shouta slowly shook his head.

 

They stayed like that, maybe a few more minutes, each one immersed in their respective thoughts. Then, All Might got up and went back to the table. From there, he carefully picked up Midoriya’s notebooks and stacked them.

 

"I take them," he said. "These notebooks are his, and you have no right to have them."

 

The underground hero did not reply, merely watching Yagi turn his back and head towards the exit. However, as he was about to walk through the door, the old hero stopped and turned slightly.

 

"Aizawa," he called one last time. "Did Nezu know about this?"

 

A silent passed before Shouta nods.

 

"He did."

 

"... I see," he said, simply.

 

And, without any other word, he disappeared in the hall.

 

Chapter 2: Second part

Notes:

A link to the original version (French version): https://ao3-rd-8.onrender.com/works/24107968/chapters/58299667

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The day had started so well.

 

Too well, on second thought.

 

Too perfectly organized.

 

What a fool.

 

Aizawa-sensei was standing in front of him, his gaze more stern than usual. His notebooks, where he recorded his thoughts and analyses were between them. His notebooks, whose contents he cherished. His notebooks, which kept in them a whole part of his identity. His notebooks, stolen without any remorse, their content violated by people he thought he could trust.

 

He knew it, though. Deep inside.

 

He always knew it.

 

That, in the end, nothing would ever change.

 

And now, they were here. Aizawa-sensei, Izuku, and his notebooks, which some people considered as  "undeniable proof " that he would be their  Traitor .

 

Evidence supposed to prove he had a connection to the League.

 

The league that had tried to kill him more than once.

 

And yet, in this entire school, between all professors, all students or staff members, it was him who was blamed.

 

The scapegoat.

 

Again.

 

…

 

His mind was foggy and fuzzy. Sounds around him had disappeared. Now, only silence remained, and a sentence which turned in a loop in his head, obsessive and cruel.

 

"Are you the League's mole?"

 

He felt like he was choking.

 

…

 

Maybe it wasn’t just an impression.

 

He couldn’t be sure of anything.

 

 

 

 

 

How had they have reached that point?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 What did he do wrong?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Izuku didn't know.

 

 

 

 

 

A movement on his periphery caught his attention. He turned his head, and his gaze crossed Iida's who watched the scene from the corridor. Part of their classmates was hidden behind him.

 

Idiot.

 

They seemed to feel remorse, turning their eyes away when Izuku stared at them.

 

Useless.

 

A bit late for that.

 

Naive.

 

How long had this been going on? How long had they been watching him with such ulterior motives, playing of pretense, and offering him fake smiles?

 

How long have they been playing at this comedy?

 

Had they been sincere, even once, to him?

 

You already know the answer, Izuku.

 

"Midoriya," his teacher said.

 

And you won't like it.

 

"Is that how you see me?" Izuku couldn't help asking.

 

 He was almost surprised that his voice doesn't be shattered.

 

I'm fine.

 

Although he feels more empty than anything right now.

 

It's okay.

 

It wasn't the first time he had experienced a disillusionment, after all.

 

I'm fine.

 

It was just a rough patch.

 

I'm fine.

 

One among many others.

 

I'm fine.

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

Everything's fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 He just needed to take a deep breath.

 

To go out.

 

To leave.

 

Far away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He restrained himself from running, but god, he wanted to so much. With his head down and his eyes fixed on the ground, he moved away from the whispers and rumors. He didn't know if the looks he felt on his back and murmurs he heard in his wake were real or just a manifestation of his nascent paranoia.

 

Probably both.

 

Memories of Eldara came to his mind. Memories of his childhood, reminding him how to avoid people and to blend in with the crowd.

 

Become a ghost.

 

Disappear.

 

Anything to avoid being noticed.

 

"Midoriya!" reasoned a voice, and he quivered.

 

He dared to lift his gaze and saw Todoroki strangely staring at him from the other end of the corridor. Beside him stood Yagi.

 

He seemed dismayed and watched him from his great height, his blonde and wild hair surrounding his face.

 

Izuku froze.

 

All Might.

 

Had he, him also, participated in this charade?

 

No.

 

Nonononononononononononononononononono

 

Impossible.

 

He didn't want to know.

 

Not him.

 

He didn't want to face him.

 

Please.

 

 

 

 

Not right now.

 

 

 

 

Not like that.

 

 

 

 

Not in this state.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Izuku turned on his heels and fled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It had been several hours since he left UA's compound.

 

He wasn’t supposed to do something like that. To leave.

 

Skip school.

 

But what difference did it make, after all? He had just proved his "innocence". For whatever it was worth. If they had something to say to him, then they could tell him face to face next time.

 

Anyway, he needed some fresh air.

 

To be alone, as before.

 

At least, it was something that was familiar.

 

So, he walked. He walked along the streets and wandered aimlessly, passing the time and observing people. He had taken off his jacket, too recognizable, and held it in his arms. He had even forgotten to take his backpack.

 

Never mind.

 

In the street, passers-by hardly looked at him, too caught up in their routine. Izuku was grateful to them. To be an unknown face in a crowd of strangers was something comforting. All he had to do was let his feet carry him.

 

He felt his phone turn on in his pocket. It vibrated in the same way it had done throughout the past hour. Ten seconds. Pause. Then the process would restart twice before redirecting the call to voicemail. Izuku sighed.

 

They will get tired of it.

 

The phone vibrated again.

 

Or maybe he should just turn it off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Instead, he went on his way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Without realizing it, he had reached Dagobah's beach.

 

He had wandered a long time after all.

 

He stared at the deserted place, where he had spent so many hours training with his mentor. To prepare himself for his dream.

 

A new start.

 

Well, he thought so.

 

It had been good moments, at least. For what it was worth.

 

Maybe that was what he deserved.

 

The black sheep of UA.

 

In the end, everyone would always turn their backs to him.

 

Whatever his efforts, whatever his tenacity, his desire to be a hero or the people he had exerted himself to save.

 

It was never enough.

 

And it never will be.

 

But it's okay.

 

I'm fine.

 

It's not a problem.

 

All he has to do is redouble his efforts next time.

 

Trapped in his thoughts, he walked on the sand where new waste had appeared, pushed by the current. They shone under the sun, and the waves soothed his ears with their marine melody. He adapted his steps to their rhythm.

 

Soft.

 

Slow.

 

Peaceful.

 

Him against the world.

 

He stood facing the ocean. He inhaled deeply and let air pass through his lips.

 

 

 

Again.

 

 

 

Again.

 

 

 

And again.

 

 

 

But, although he continued the process, an unpleasant weight refused to leave his chest. It clung to him, digging a hole in his flesh and grabbing at his throat.

 

I'm fine.

 

"Really?"

 

The memories of this place resurfaced and overwhelmed him, more violently than ever. His training with All Might, his blunders, their discussions, his fears, their shared secrets, his acceptance in UA, the happiness and relief of reunion…

 

Really.

 

"But nothing will ever be the same."

 

It's okay. I'm fine.

 

"Why?"

 

Because he had to.

 

It was necessary. Primordial. Vital.

 

 

 

He.

 

 

 

Was.

 

 

 

Fine.

 

 

 

The wave returned again, cruel in its tenacity and sweetness.

 

It hurt so much.

 

He felt like he was swallowed up.

 

That happy, carefree, innocent past.

 

Shattered in pieces.

 

He bit his lip until the taste of blood filled his mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The phone vibrated again.

 

Izuku ignored it and waited for the new voicemail to reach the stack of unopened ones. He looked at the calm and serene sea, as the waves stroked the metal carcasses.

 

The sun still had a little time before disappearing behind the horizon, but it already painted the sky a pretty golden hue.

 

It was peaceful.

 

Quiet.

 

A lonely place, without anyone to break the tranquility of the beach.

 

So, Izuku inhaled once more.

 

And screamed.

Notes:

A big thank you to Darling, who offered to be my beta reader!

Notes:

Since English isn't my native language, if you ever see any typos or have tips to improve the text you want to share, you are welcome!

You can find me on Tumblr too: https://l-anna-art. /

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