Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

On July 15th, 22XX, a stream called “Green Bean Stream” appeared on Twitch’s trending section. Most who joined assumed that it was just a meme stream about green beans and decided to throw caution to the wind. How dumb could a stream about green beans be?

When the stream loaded and revealed a room with the camera panning over a few wooden blocks, the audience became understandably confused. What was this stream about, and why did it involve a playpen? 

Then a child’s laugh filled the air, and the chat went silent as a pair of arms appeared, clapping together in glee.

One user broke the silence with the first question of many. [Yo, is that a fuckin baby?]

It was, in fact, a human child. One that was very overjoyed to have playtime and its favorite blocks to play with. The chat watched with confusion as the camera moved, slumping forward like a toddler who was still learning to walk before plopping next to the pile of blocks.

[i think it is]

[where’s the camera? on the baby’s head?]

[what kind of sick parent puts a camera on a baby’s head?]

The child seemed to be unaware of the presence of the chat and began playing with the blocks, stacking the blocks on top of one another to form a tower. It clapped its hands together and giggled in delight. The chat reacted appropriately, with some of the more memey users already celebrating the tower.

[AY YO POG IN THE CHAT THIS BABY STACKING BLOCKS]
[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[look at this future architect!]

Then the child toppled the tower over, laughing joyfully over the chaos and destruction it had caused.

[i take it back]

[:monka:]

[some architect]

[hey, it’s just playing]

[that’s fair]

This went on for about another hour, with over a hundred people watching this child play with blocks. Some just watched the adorable spectacle, but others theorized about where the camera was and started considering the ethical implications of filming a child on Twitch. All discussion stopped when a woman’s voice came over the stream.

“Ok Izuku, dinnertime!’

He giggled and turned, panning the camera to see a woman smiling at him. She knelt down and scooped the child up into her arms, holding him close. The camera revealed a long hallway, and as the woman turned the corner, it revealed an open bathroom door, and the back of the woman holding him, as well as his face.

Izuku was the most adorable thing the chat had ever seen. A mop of curly hair sat atop the round freckled face and big green eyes gazed curiously at the world, reflected back into the mirror for all the viewers to see. It was what the chat didn’t see that really threw them off.

[guys there is no camera]

[WHAT]

[guys hang on]

[WHERE’S THE CAMERA]

[guys what if the baby is the camera]

[monka]

[Babycam]

[wait that actually makes too much sense]

[camera quirk?]

[probably]

[who cares? Baby’s mom is HAWT ]

“Here comes the airplane!” Izuku’s mother said, making airplane noises as he giggled like crazy. He swallowed the spoonful of food his mother presented and clapped his hands together, asking for more as he was fed.

Eventually, Izuku got sleepy, and his mother smiled and noted that he was nodding off, so she picked him up and brought him over to his crib, setting him down. She leaned in to give him a goodnight kiss, and the chat went wild. 

[aw yis mama kisses]

[GOOD NIGHT KISSES :PogChamp:]

[god i wish that were me]

[POG GUD NITE KISSY]

[same tho]

[Fuck i missed dindins, what he eat?]

Then as Izuku fell asleep, the stream popped up with a title card and a timer, displaying a chibi version of Izuku in his crib. The timer began ticking down, and a message appeared, saying “Sleepy times for Izuku. We’ll see you all in eight hours!”

The chat logged off, each user saving the stream as one of their favorites and wondering what the hell kind of quirk the kid had to give him a first-person camera and perfect streaming? What deity blessed him with that ability?

Only time would tell how Izuku would grow, and if he would ever be aware of the stream. But in the meantime, the viewers bookmarked the stream and began to appreciate the Green Bean Stream.

[yo is he watching all-might again?]

[All-Might :PogChamp:]

[Yo when we gettin All-Might emotes]

[i hope we get some new ones]

[new emotes :PogChamp:]

[i’m fine with new emotes as long as they aren’t 50 different versions of pog]

[HERESY]

[POG REIGNS SUPREME]

[imma add to the izuku college fund] x 500 bits

[good on you]

[you think his mom has noticed yet?]

[i dunno]

“‘It’s okay now. Why? Because I am here!’” Izuku said in sync with All-Might on the video before him. He was blissfully unaware of the chat his quirk was streaming too, and honestly, the chat was glad as well. They weren’t sure how their featured green bean would react to finding out that his entire life had been streamed over the internet.

Well, not his entire life. The chat had learned in the past two years that the stream would automatically block their view of any sensitive information, such as addresses, phone numbers, and emails. It would also immediately block out any nudity and pull up a stand-by screen when Izuku had to use the bathroom. That came as a great relief to the viewers, as they didn’t want to suddenly have their doors kicked down by special agents. 

The chat also discovered that while the native language of the stream was Japanese, the stream provided subtitles that were accurate and translated to each and every user’s preferred language. It also allowed donations, which presumably went to a bank account that Inko Midoriya, Izuku’s mother, either didn’t know existed or she hadn’t reacted to them on camera. 

Izuku’s excited gasp filled the air as he watched All-Might duke it out with a villain, beating the absolute crap outta him. The poor villain didn’t even stand a chance. Izuku stared at the screen, mesmerized at the sight of this idol. However, the chat’s attention was focused on the talking going on behind him.

“What the… WHAT?!” Inko yelled, quickly hushing herself. She looked over in Izuku’s direction and relaxed when she saw he didn’t react. In her hands was her phone, with her banking app open and a surprised look on her face. “Where did this account come from, and why is it full of money?!”

[SHE KNOWS]

[oh shit]

[is she going to cut herself off from it?]

[why would she do that? there’s a lot of money there]

[guys shut up she’s saying something]

“There’s enough money here to send Izuku to college and then some.”

[here, take my money] x 100,000 bits

“IT JUST WENT UP BY 100,000 YEN! WHAT IS GOING ON?!”

[i think we just made her day in a weird way]

[probably]

[has anyone been keeping track of the total donations? there’s probably a fortune in there by now]

[HEY, WE HAVE NEW EMOTES]

[Awesome, let's see]

[:PogMight:]

[OH GODDAMMIT]

“Your son is quirkless.”

[WHAT]

[QUIRKLESS MY ASS]

[THE FUCK IS THIS DOCTOR ON?]

[QUACK DOCTOR]

[YOU MONSTER]

[CANCEL THIS GUY’S MEDICAL LICENSE]

Inko looked over to Izuku and noticed that he had gone completely despondent. Her heart lurched, and she turned back to the doctor, her eyes pleading with him. “There must be some mistake. Are you sure? Izuku’s really been excited for his quirk, and-”

The doctor sighed out his nose, having heard this plea several times in his career already. He knew that it was only going to get worse. Maybe if he was lucky the mother wouldn’t yell. “Ma’am, I’ve done all the appropriate tests. The results all say that your son is quirkless. I understand that you’re a fourth-generation quirked individual, but genetics don’t lie. You have my condolences.”

Inko didn’t know how to respond and instead nodded silently. She took Izuku’s hand and led his autonomous body out of the office and drove him home, where he spent the rest of the day watching the same video of All-Might saving over a hundred people, all while smiling.

[...is he going to be okay?]

[izuku’s gonna be all sorts of traumatized]

[he needs a hug]

[HUG BABY! :pepehands:]

“Mommy?”

[oh no]

[pls don’t make me cry more than i already have]

[I need more tears bro i’m running out]

Inko came around the corner, her expression forced. “Yes, sweetie?”

Izuku pointed at the computer screen, tears running down his face. “Can I b-be a h-hero l-like All-Might?”

Inko couldn’t hold her expression together any longer. She sobbed and enveloped him into a hug, apologizing over and over as she cried. “I’m so sorry, Izuku! I’m so sorry…”

[:feelsbadman:]

[:feelsbadman:]

[:feelsbadman:]

[:feelsbadman:]

[:feelsbadman:]

[:feelsbadman:]

[aw fuck, we need to get them a nice house n shit]

[agreed]

[someone start looking for small houses in musutafu]

[there’s a nice one for sale a few blocks away]

Izuku lay on the ground, curled into a fetal position as blows landed on him, one after another. Blows from people he once considered to be his friends, now cracking down on him for defending a person who had been unable to defend themselves.

The blows stopped, and Izuku weakly opened his eyes to see his former best friend Katsuki Bakugo sneer down at him.

“Stupid Deku. You think you can stand up to me with no quirk? What a loser.”

“You said it, Bakugo!” the blonde’s cronies snickered, following after their boss as they headed back into the elementary school before the end of recess. Izuku slowly climbed to his feet, whimpering from the pain as he limped back to the school. 

This wasn’t the first time he had been attacked like this, and Izuku supposed it wouldn’t be the last. After Bakugo had manifested his quirk, he had changed, leaving his former friend behind to feed his constantly stoked ego. The chat despised him with a passion. 

[fuckin bakugo again]

[are we sure the reports went through?]

[yeah the teachers just aren’t doing anything about it]

[fuck quirkism]

[this kid is shaping up to be the next endeavor]

[how many years in prison for punching a child?]

[how much do you think we can get for him on the dark web?]

[dude, what the fuck? ]

[just asking, jeez]

Izuku sniffled a few times as he approached the door of the school, fighting back the tears that threatened to roll down his face. He failed and silently cried all the way back into the class, making everyone look at him and whisper, including the teachers.

[okay who wants to crusade an elementary school]

[DEUS VULT]

[DEUS VULT]

[DEUS VULT]

[DEUS VULT]

[DEUS VULT]

[finally, an excuse to punt a child]

[DEUS VULT]

[DEUS VULT- wait what?]

[you know what i said coward]

“Stupid Kacchan. Doesn’t he know that he could get arrested if I actually went through with it?” Izuku grumbled as he brushed off his burnt and soaked notebook. He walked towards an underpass, angry at his teacher for bringing attention to him by revealing that he wanted to go to U.A. University. It was Japan’s best hero university, and it had been his dream to attend the school since he was a child.

Unfortunately, Izuku didn’t have a quirk, which made the very suggestion that he could be a hero school as prestigious as U.A. hilarious to his classmates and teacher. Of course, the chat had something to say about that. Several things, in fact.

[he seriously needs to be in a different school]

[fuckin i’m this close to hiring a hitman]

[at least he got the notebook back]

[just a few more months at this hellish school]

[then he can hopefully have a fresh start away from bakugo]

[fuck that ego-driven pomperanian]

[the offer of selling him to the dark web still stands]

[:monkaS:]

[dude, no ]

“At least I got the notebook back,” Izuku reasoned, sighing as he leafed through its contents. To his relief, none of the pages were missing or damaged, even when Bakugo had tossed it into the koi pond outside Aldera High School. He passed through the underpass, failing to note the manhole cover shift slightly as he passed it. “Man, these things are sturdy-”

“A medium-invisibility cloak. Perfect!” a voice that sounded like it was underwater exclaimed. Izuku didn’t have the opportunity to turn around before green sludge suddenly enveloped him, invading his lungs. He flailed violently, struggling against the mass that held him, but he could not find any purchase.

[oh shit]

[it’s a villain]

[SOMEONE IN JAPAN CALL A HERO RIGHT FUCKIN NOW]

[NO NO COME ON IZUKU DON’T DIE]

“Hold still, kid!” the sludge bubbled, its eyes darting around anxiously. “Normally I like it when people struggle but I’m kinda in a hurry so could you just die please?!”

[FUCKIN STRUGGLE IZUKU]

[HOLD ON IZUKU]

[FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK]

[IS SOMEONE CALLING THE HEROES?!]

[YEAH WHERE IS HE?!]

[FUCKIN UNDER AN UNDERPASS]

As darkness started to close around Izuku’s vision, the chat’s panic grew even stronger, escalating to an all-time high when the stream went black.

[SHIT IS HE DEAD?!]

[NO THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING]

[PLEASE DON’T BE DEAD]

[BREATHE, IZUKU, BREATHE]

Suddenly, the screen signifying that Izuku was asleep popped up, giving a minute countdown as the chat collectively let out a sigh of relief.

[OH THANK FUCK]

[HE’S ALIVE]

[oh my god he’s alive]

[bro i’m crying]

[oh god i think i’m going to have trauma around this]

[so will he, man]

[he needs a therapist]

[i’m on it]

“Young man?” a voice called to Izuku, the feeling of a hand lightly tapping his cheek rousing him from his slumber. “Young man, are you alright?”

[who’s that]

[wait]

[no…]

[is that…]

Izuku opened his eyes and blinked a few times, his eyes focusing on the figure before him. His eyes shot open wide when he realized who it was and he nearly tore out his vocal cords in the next sentence. “ALL-MIGHT?! Oh my god you’re actually here! Can I have your autograph?!”

All-Might handed Izuku his notebook with a signature. “IT’S ALREADY SIGNED!”

[YOOOOOOOOOOO]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

“THANK YOU!!!”

“Always nice to meet a fan, Young…”

“Izuku Midoriya!”

“Midoriya is a fine name! Are you alright, Young Midoriya?”

“Uh, yeah, why?”

“I have to deliver this villain to the authorities,” All-Might replied, patting his pocket to reveal a soda bottle full of sludge. “Have a nice day, Young Midoriya!”

“Wait! I have a question-”

“No time!” All-Might yelled over his shoulder before leaping away. In a split-second decision, Izuku latched onto his leg and held on for dear life as he soared high into the sky. All-Might looked down and saw him, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head before he landed on a nearby roof.

[what]

[THE ABSOLUTE MADLAD]

[hold on izuku!]

[don’t let go]

[don’t look down]

[jesus fucking christ the balls on this kid]

“Young Midoriya, what were you thinking?! You could’ve fallen!”

“I wanted to ask you a question!” Izuku yelled, looking down at the ground and regathering himself, missing the barely audible “Crap” from All-Might and the steam that followed. “All my life I’ve been bullied and looked down upon for being quirkless and wanting to be a hero, and I wanted to know if you thought I could be a hero- wait, where’s All-Might?”

“I’m right here,” a tall skeletal man said, scowling at Izuku. He held up his hand, silencing any disbelief as he pulled up his shirt, revealing a very nasty-looking scar. “My name is Toshinori Yagi. Due to an injury against an untelevised fight against a villain five years ago, I can only take the form of All-Might for five hours. As for your question, Young Midoriya, be realistic.”

[he did not]

[oh no]

[bro i’m crying again]

[fuck all-might]

[you all-might that was kinda cringe #CancelAll-Might]

Izuku was devastated. He fought back the tears as he listened to what Toshinori said next. “There are many jobs a quirkless can fulfill, but a hero is not one of them. Policemen and emergency workers are essential. I advise you to look into those.”

He cast one last glance over his shoulder to see Izuku looking so down in the dumps. “I’m sorry, Young Midoriya.”

[THE HELL YOU ARE]

[FUCK YOU]

[SOME HERO YOU ARE]

[Shame.]

[finally, an excuse to punt a hero]

[what?!]

Izuku slowly made his way down the stairs of the building, feeling worthless and sadder than he usually was on a given basis, which wasn’t good. How stupid could he have been? Him, a quirkless hero? It was laughable. Maybe Bakugo and the rest of his classmates were right. 

Maybe he was just a useless Deku.

[aw shit]

[bro i ran out of tears]

[my dad just came in and asked why was i crying so hard, i told him and now he’s crying too]

[fuck, man]

[this just ain’t izuku’s day]

[more money to the college fund]

[wait, is that fire?]

There was indeed a fire down the street, one that Izuku sprinted straight to, squeezing to the front of the police line. He looked down the flaming street and noticed several houses on fire, with Backdraft hosing the fires down as the heroes stood by, staring down the street.

[oh shit]

[is that mt lady?]

[can you stop being horny? there’s a villain!]

[and a hostage]

[oh shit wait is that sludgy?!]

Izuku’s eyes widened when he realized that the sludge villain who had attacked him earlier was watching in the middle of the street, knowing that there was a stalemate, especially when he saw the hostage the villain had was Bakugo. Next thing he knew, he was over the police line and sprinting towards the villain, yanking his backpack off his shoulder.

[WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING]

[BEING A HERO BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL]

[HE’S GONNA GET HIMSELF KILLED]

[OH GOD OH FUCK]

[IZUKU NO BAKUGO’S NOT WORTH IT]

Izuku let out a feral roar and tossed the backpack into the villain’s eye, making him scream in agony. He loosened his sludge and Izuku tore at the sludge, desperately trying to extract Bakugo, who gazed at him with a confused expression.

The sludge villain roared and prepared to slam down on Izuku, deciding to just kill him after all the trouble he had caused. The chat went crazy, each of them screaming at Izuku to run, but it was in vain.

“DETROIT SMASH!”

A whirlwind whipped down the street, absolutely obliterating the sludge villain, freeing Bakugo from his grasp, and changing the weather from a light rain to clear skies. The heroes moved in a second later as All-Might was swarmed by the media. Paramedics gave the two boys a clear bill of health and the heroes scolded Izuku for running in and praised Bakugo for his powerful quirk.

[that’s it]

[time to cancel japan’s heroes]

[tank their ratings]

[fuck them]

[all they did was stand by and watch]

That is, until Mt Lady spoke up with a rare moment of common sense.

“Wait a minute, why are we praising this explosive kid for blowing up half the street? He’s the reason why there were fires in the first place! And you’re getting on this kid for having the guts to do what was right when we were just standing and watching? Unbelievable.”

[did she just]

[okay, boost her ratings]

[she’s nice]

[for once, she cared about something besides her ratings]

Izuku didn’t know what to say, but he politely declined her offer to take him home as he was almost there anyway and escaped the crowd. He moved out of the crowd and started back home when All-Might landed in front of him and burst into his skeleton form.

“Hello, Young Midoriya.”

[oh what does this fucker want?]

[is he going to lecture izuku as well?]

[i’ll finish off the job, old man]

[we have proof]

GBSBot: [No one will ever believe you ;)]

[wait, where did my clips go]

[his quirk deleted the fucking clips holy shit]

“I’d like to apologize. I was too hasty in dismissing your dream, even if it was to protect you,” Toshinori said, bowing his head. “Especially considering that I was once in your position.”

Izuku blinked. “What?! You used to be quirkless?!”

Toshinori nodded. “Yes. My quirk, One-For-All is special in the sense that it can be passed on from person to person. It stockpiles the physical abilities of each user, and today, I am offering it to you.”

Izuku’s eyes widened. “Wait, so you’re saying….”

“Yes, Young Midoriya. You can be a hero.”

The chat went crazy, those who had tried to record the interaction being met with the message “No one will ever believe you ;).” Izuku became overwhelmed with emotion and fell to his knees, sobbing as the chat celebrated.

[IZUKU’S GONNA BE A HERO]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

Chapter Text

“That’s it Young Midoriya! Pull with all your might!”

“I’m trying!”

[seriously give izuku a break]

[is this an excuse to punt all-might?]

[Is ThIs An ExCuSe To PuNt AlL-mIgHt?]

[little man gain big strong, soon take over jungle]
[bro when the fuck did we return to monkey?]

[he needs to build up his muscles but all-might needs to stop overworking him]

[agreed]

Izuku strained against the ropes holding him back to the refrigerator All-Might was seated on, using all of his body weight and muscle mass in an effort to move the hulk of metal. Unfortunately, Izuku was very scrawny and made very little progress, soon slipping on the sand of Dagobah Municipal Beach Park.

He face-planted into the beach and his mentor sighed, deciding that maybe hauling a refrigerator across a beach with the number one hero sitting on top of it wasn’t such a good idea for a beginner. He instructed Izuku to move the metal he could, and then work his way up. His student nodded and surveyed the illegal dumping ground that the beach had become, picking up a small metal sheet. He continued to move the trash until the end of the day, feeling completely exhausted but excited.

All-Might had brought Izuku to Dagobah to train his body to better handle the raw power of One-For-All. He had given his student a workout schedule that he liked to call the “American Dream Plan,” and Izuku devoted himself to following it to the letter.

Unfortunately, it was absolute hell to his body, which wasn’t prepared to go from barely using muscles to using every single muscle in his body every second of every day. He was getting stronger, but he was also in danger of overworking himself. The chat knew this, and they scrambled to find some way to get their favorite green bean to slow down.

Alas, they could find none. Izuku kept training, even when he wasn’t supposed to. He lifted a barbell while eating breakfast, did squats after waking up and before he went to sleep, and even did his homework while doing one-handed pushups. While it was impressive and the chat respected his commitment to the cause, it wasn’t healthy. He was likely to kill himself before he even got through the ten months before U.A.’s entrance exam.

[jesus izuku i know you want to get into ua but ffs don’t kill yourself]

[this kid’s muscles will have muscles by the time he’d done]

[six packs on his six packs]

[yo, imagine what his thighs would be like around your head]

[:simpalert:]

[:simpalert:]

[:simpalert:]

[:simpalert:]

When Izuku finally did collapse in the winter, All-Might blamed himself for not noticing how his ward was overworking himself. He forced Izuku to take the entirety of the winter break off and instructed him to eat healthily, but there would be no working out.

This left Izuku watching a recording of a battle between a group of villains and one of his favorite heroes, the Rabbit Hero: Miruko. He had a poster of her doing her signature bunny ears pose hanging next to his favorite poster of All-Might. If he was being honest, she was probably one of his favorite heroines. 

It was odd. For him, it was easy to pick his favorite hero, but when it came to heroines, his cheeks would burn red and he would find himself unable to pick just one. They were all just so cool! Maybe his inability to pick had something to do with a crush on one or several of them, but he wasn’t sure. 

Izuku watched as Miruko let out a feral roar and brought down her heel in an axe kick onto some poor villain’s head. His mouth hung open with awe as he observed how she moved with such grace and power, easily dispatching the evildoers. And at the end of all, the stance that showed her in all of her six-foot-four glory made him shudder.

BattleBunny: [ah yes]

BattleBunny: [my brand]

[does that mean you like miruko or you are miruko]

BattleBunny: [:yes:]

[okay, that’s not helpful]

BattleBunny: [yep]

BattleBunny: [that was the goal]

[are you just here to troll the chat?]

BattleBunny: [wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?]

[holy shit you fucking killed him dude!]

“Miruko moves with a speed and power that rivals even All-Might,” Izuku began to mutter, the chat getting excited. “I wonder how long it took her to develop all of her techniques. Did she train for every single day of her life, or did she take a more relaxed approach, like Yagi-sensei says I should? How did she train her speed? Would it be possible to replicate her speed and jump height with enough training?”

[damn it’s been a while since he really got into one of these]

[he do be studying tho]

[:pepo-study:]

[butsubutsu time!]

[what is he saying? he’s talking too fast]

[you get used to it]

[studying! :PogChamp:]

[damn he going for the any% conversation speedrun?]

“I wonder how Miruko keeps her muscles. Is she the kind of person that keeps a strict workout regimen or does she just work out when she feels like it? Maybe she’d be willing to give me some tips. If I ever met her, that is. I’d probably die if that ever happened- wait, what?”

[did he just]

[does he have a small crush on miruko]

[i think he might]

BattleBunny: [aww, that’s cute]

[damn right it is]

[just like him]

“Izuku!” Inko called from the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready!”

“Coming!” Izuku called back, pausing the video on Miruko’s smirk. He stopped for a few moments and gazed back, looking at the screen with amusement. It looked like she was looking right at him, daring him to impress her somehow. He almost spoke to her picture and stopped, raising an eyebrow.

“Is this what people online call simping?”

The chat lost it.

[OH MY GOD]

[:lul:]

[:kek:]

[HE DID NOT]

[:OMEGALUL:]

[:OMEGALUL:]

[HE DID THO BRO]

[HE’S TOO PURE]

[:OMEGALUL:]

[:ULTRAOMEGALUL:]

[BRO I’M DYING]

[BRO I CAN’T BREATHE]

[THIS KID]

Izuku left his room and reported for dinner, unaware of the chaos he had caused. The internet died laughing as he calmly enjoyed a meal with his mother, chatting about the day’s events. Elsewhere, Rumi Usagiyama, also known as the Rabbit Hero: Miruko, finally pulled herself together after nearly dying of laughter.

“Oh man. I’m going to keep an eye on this kid,” she said to herself, gazing at her computer screen. “Maybe I’ll intern him once he gets into U.A. and show him firsthand what these legs can do.”

She chuckled to herself, stretching her legs. “Yeah, I think I’ll do that…”

Ten months. It had taken ten months of agonizing and tedious work to clean Dagobah, but he had done it. He climbed upon the last dumpster filled with garbage from the beach and roared his triumph to the heavens, brandishing his bare chest to the world. Fortunately (or unfortunately for the simps), the stream could not see his muscles.

[YOOOOOOO HE FINALLY DID IT]

[BEACH IS CLEAN BOIZ]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[UA, watch out! Izuku’s coming in hot!]

[i bet he’s hot too]

[calm your horny, simp!]

“I must admit that I’m impressed, Young Midoriya.”

Izuku turned his gaze to his mentor, who smiled warmly at him. He panted and smiled widely as well, carefully making his way down the trash pile and meeting All-Might at the bottom, grabbing his tracksuit jacket from nearby.

“Thank you.”

“The pleasure is all mine. Before you put your jacket on, I’d like to show you something,” All-Might said, pulling out his phone. He flipped through the gallery and selected a photo of Izuku as he was ten months prior, crying and scrawny. “This was you ten months ago. Now, I want you to take a look in that mirror.”

Izuku raised an eyebrow but didn’t object. He looked towards the old full-body mirror and gasped. He was absolutely ripped. Honestly, if he hadn’t been through the hellish training, he would’ve thought he was hallucinating when he gazed upon the mirror and saw muscles that looked like they had been sculpted by the ancient greeks.

[DAAAAMMMMNNN]

[YOU COULD GRATE CHEESE ON THOSE ABS]

[:sweat_drops:]

[i got ripped in ten months by hauling trash: Izuku, probably]

[ please let me feel those ]

[:pogn’t:]

[no lewding izuku :monkaGun:]

[ you can’t stop me ] x 100,000 bits

GBSBot: [Congradulations! You have outed yourself as a simp!]

simp: [wat]

simp: [ wait no ]

He blinked twice, and breathed out, “Holy shit.”

[oh my god]

[he swore]

[HE DID WHAT?! ]

[i’m adding that to the list of reasons to kill bakugo]

[noooooooooo babey swore]

[ don’t tell Mamadoriya ]

[isn’t that list already like half a mile long?]

[yeh but it doesn’t hurt to make it longer]

[fair enough]

“Quite the improvement, is it not?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“You’ve worked hard, my boy. I think you’re ready for One-For-All.”

Izuku’s head snapped up so fast All-Might was worried he would snap it off by accident. His eyes sparkled with all the energy of an excited puppy. “Really?!”

“Yes. Now to receive my quirk, all you have to do is…”

[IT’S HAPPENING]

[YOOOOOOOOOOOO LET’S GO]

[EVERYBODY STAY CALM]

[NO]

[EVERYONE STAY FUCKING CALM]

[POG IN THE CHAT THIS BOI IS GETTING ANOTHER QUIRK]

[:Pogchamp:]

[:Pogchamp:]

[:Pogchamp:]

[:Pogchamp:]

All-Might reached up to his head and plucked a single blond hair from his head, presenting it before Izuku. “Eat this!”

Izuku and the chat’s excitement immediately died. “What?”

[All-Might, what the fuck ]

[yummy]

[bro, what the fuck ]

All-Might offered an awkward smile. “In order to receive my quirk you need to ingest my DNA and I figured this was the easiest and least disgusting way to pass it on. I brought some water if you need it.”

“O-Oh.”

[ha, imagine if he had to have sweat or something]

[bro that’s pretty sketch]

[Yeah as soon as I typed that I regretted it]

“I was the same way, Young Midoriya. It’s better if you don’t think about it.”

Hesitantly, Izuku took the hair and the offered water bottle, placing the hair and quickly downing it with some water. He waited, expecting some sort of huge change to come over him, but after a few seconds of standing there, nothing happened. 

“Um, is something supposed to happen?”

“It might take a few hours to get fully transferred into your system. Don’t worry, you should be able to use it by the exam tomorrow. My advice for getting it to work is to clench your buttcheeks and let out a massive ‘SMASH!’”

New Moderators have been added.

Seventh: [Toshi that is the single most awful advice to give a newbie! Are you trying to get him killed?!]

[oh shit new mod calling him out already]

First: [Peace, Seventh. I doubt Eighth has any idea what he’s doing. Anywho, how long do you think it will be before Ninth becomes aware of us?]

[uhhhhhhh]

[is this a conversation we shouldn’t be seeing?]

GBSBot: [ :) ]

[please don’t purge us again robot overlord]

Fifth: [First, Seventh, please tell me I’m not the only one seeing the Twitch Chat.]

Fourth: [Twitch Chat?]

Sixth: [Oh god please tell me this isn’t Ninth’s quirk.]

Second: [I think it is.]

Sixth: [Please kill me. Again.]

[what the fuck is going on, I leave, come back and now there’s number people everywhere]

Seventh: [don’t worry about it]

“Young Midoriya, are you alright?” All-Might asked. Izuku had frozen solid and was staring into space, seemingly reading messages as they flew by his vision. His expression was increasingly looking more and more distressed like he was having an existential crisis. “Young Midoriya, please snap out of it! You’re too young to be questioning your own existence!”

[questioning my own existence poggers]

Izuku slowly turned to All-Might, his expression terrified beyond belief. “Yagi-sensei, why the fuck did my brain say ‘poggers?’”

[fuck he knows!]

[:monka:]

It turned out that inheriting a super powerful quirk like One-For-All had supercharged his quirk, thus unlocking normal Twitch functions that Izuku hadn’t been aware of in all eighteen years of his life. He could see the chat, and hear their subs and donations, and he was very surprised to find that he had an international fanbase of over a million people, and there was a third person camera that was zoomed in on his muscles.

First: [Okay, Seventh, stop analyzing his muscles. I can feel the chat’s thirst from here.]

[those abs tho]

[crush me daddy]

[bro you want his first memories of that chat to be us simping over him?]

He took it about as well as one would think. He screamed and kicked a broken TV out of reflex, unintentionally activating One-For-All and shattering his leg and sending the TV into the upper atmosphere. Then he screamed in agony as his nerves suddenly realized that he had obliterated his bones.

[So you know the leg bone’s connected to the knee bone song?]

[yeah?]

[I don’t think he got bones to connect to anymore bruh]

All-Might rushed forward and caught him before he fell to the ground, worry plastered across his face. “Young Midoriya, I’m going to take you to medical help now, alright? I know it hurts, so feel free to pass out. I’ve got you.”

[Dad-Might?]

[Dad-Might pog!]

First: [Pog survived for this long? Jesus.]

[oh, right. Still waiting on the explanation for you all]

Izuku nodded and promptly passed out in his mentor’s arms. All-Might searched the nearby streets and saw no one, eliminating any risk of being seen. He leapt into the air. As he sailed into the night sky over Musutafu, the number one hero hoped that the woman he was about to see wasn’t going to rip him a new one for already getting his student hurt within five minutes of having the quirk.

“...I swear this is a new record for your dumbassery.” Izuku heard a voice scold his mentor as he woke up, the chat greeting him enthusiastically. “Did you call his mother yet?”

[yo he’s awake]

[morning sunshine]

[welcome to the land of the living]

“Y-Yes! Chiyo, please-”

“Don’t you take that tone with me, young man! You are an irresponsible teacher! Handing over a quirk as powerful as One-For-All and giving him the advice of clenching his buttcheeks and yelling ‘smash’. I’ll let you deal with his mother when she gets here.”

“Wha…?” Izuku groaned, sitting up. He felt his leg and realized that it wasn’t broken anymore, which greatly relaxed him. “Where am I?”

He looked around and found himself to be in a nurse’s office, with said nurse currently holding her cane over Toshinori’s head. The older man seemed to be terrified of the elderly nurse, and rightfully so. Her eyes, although afflicted with Brock Syndrome, were blazing with righteous anger, which dissipated when she saw Izuku stirring.

[never piss off the white mage]

[she’s scary]

[angry grandma]

[stay on her good side izuku]

Seventh: [Man, Chiyo’s aged well.]

“Ah, you’re awake. Good. Do you feel any pain?”

“No…?” he said hesitantly. “Wait, Recovery Girl?!”

She ignored his realization. “Good. Your mother will be here soon, and I suggest you tell her everything.”

“Everything?”

“Everything, Midoriya. She’s your mother, and she has a right to know what you’ve been doing. Unless you have a story as to why the bones of your leg looked like they passed through a wood chipper.”

Izuku stayed silent.

[oh no]

[mamadoriya’s going to kill you]

[f for izuku]

[f]

[f]

[f]

[f]

“That’s what I thought,” she said, turning on her heel. “And you, Yagi. You are going to explain why he collapsed from exhaustion, and I will not be healing anything she does to you that isn’t life-threatening.”

[f for All-Might?]

[nah, he deserves it]

Izuku nearly snorted aloud, shaking his head at the shenanigans of the chat. It was going to take some getting used to, but he felt like he could do it. Besides, these people supported him, right? Might be good to ask them. 

“You all support me, right?”

[you’re damn right we do]

[:feelshugman:]

[:feelshugman:]

[aw yis hugs]

[:feelshugman:]

[:feelshugman:]

[:feelshugman:]

Izuku chuckled. “Thanks, chat. For everything.”

[No problem bro]

[we gotchu]

[#Support]

[:feelshugman:]

[:feelshugman:]

[:feelshugman:]

[:peepoheart:]

Izuku sighed, looking over the chat. Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.

Chapter Text

[oh dear god]

[mamadoriya’s pissed]

[:monkaS:]

[when was the last time she got angry with him]

[i think it was when izuku broke a window when he was five and playing baseball inside]

[oh yeah it’s been a very long time]

[he’s fucked]

[and not in a good way]

“I’m not mad, Izuku Akatani Midoriya,” Inko promised, even as her entire being suggested otherwise. She crossed her arms and shook her head, meeting her son’s gaze. “I’m just disappointed.”

Izuku swore he felt his heart crack. Tears shrugged to his eyes, and he began to cry quietly, the chat lamenting with him.

[oh shit]

[mama disappointment]

[:crieing:]

[oh fuck]

[bro i’m crying again]

[me too bro]

[hugs for izuku]

Fifth: [Are you guys always like this?]

[pretty much]

[yeah]

[mhm]

Fifth: [Oh my god…]

“I can understand not wanting to tell me this big secret out of wanting to keep me safe, but I’m your mother, Izuku. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to hide something from me,” Inko soothed, rubbing her son’s shoulders as he cried. “Hey. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. But next time something like this comes up, please tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” Izuku replied, allowing himself to be hugged by his mother, sniffling away the tears.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

[mah hart]

[mah soul]

Third: [Oh, that’s adorable…]

Second: [Brings tears to your eyes, don’t it?]

[bro why am i crying so hard in the club rn?]

[it’s okay bro i’m crying too]

“As for you, Toshinori Yagi…” Inko snarled, rounding on the skeletal man as she cracked her knuckles, Izuku could only give his pity and condolences. She stepped forward, her emerald eyes blazing with a ferocity that would become infamous amongst the chat as the Gaze of Terrible Fate. “I hope you’re ready to take responsibility for any harm that should befall my son.”

Toshinori nodded rapidly, looking terrified beyond words. If he was being honest, he’d rather deal with a hundred of the villain who crippled him than face the wrath of his student’s mother. At least in that scenario, he could fight back.

Recovery Girl just smiled and shook her head. She lightly prodded Izuku with her cane, bringing his attention back to her. “Midoriya, since I’m most likely going to be seeing you in this room again tomorrow, I thought I’d go ahead and tell you that your attending nurse will likely be my second-year nursing student. She’ll be handling patients who pass out, and just judging by tonight’s incident, you’ll end up meeting her tomorrow.”

“O-Oh, okay.”

“Goodnight, Midoriya. Stay safe, and here, take this,” Recovery Girl said, handing him a sleeping pill. “You’ll need it after all this excitement. Don’t worry, you should still wake up in time for the exam.”

“Izuku, are you ready?” Inko called, Toshinori cowering behind her. She pouted and crossed her arms, looking very grumpy. “I don’t know about you, but I’m all tuckered out by all this excitement. Shall we?”

[what did she do to all-might]

“I don’t know, but I’m not sure I want to,” Izuku whispered under his breath. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

[:monka:]

[bro your mom is scary when she’s angry]

First: [Remind us to never get on her bad side]

[agreed]

[seriously tho what did she do]

[ don’t ask bro ]

Izuku slept easily that night due to the sleeping pill Recovery Girl had provided him. He had no dreams, and he woke up with the alarm, his nerves immediately throwing off any remnants of sleep. That, and the chat was excited to wish him luck on the exam.

[you got this bro]

[we believe in you]

SweetDreams: [make sure to eat a good breakfast] 

SweetDreams: [you’ll need it for optimal performance~]

Seventh: [Oh I like you.]

SweetDreams: [i do my best, darling~]

“Can we not do this right now? I’m too busy having a panic attack about figuring out what to wear. Do any of you mods know how to make it so that I can’t see the chat?”

First: [Try tapping the back of your left hand.]

Izuku followed his given instructions. Much to his relief, it worked, and he was able to dress himself and eat breakfast in peace, enjoying a silence in his mind that he hadn’t felt in all of his life. It was like thousands of people had been talking all at once in his head, and now he could actually hear himself think.

But at the same time, he felt alone. Isolated. And while he supposed he did enjoy the time to himself, it just wasn’t the same without someone pogging after he did anything. Izuku laughed at the irony and finished his breakfast, readying himself as he dressed in his old high school uniform and tapped the back of his left hand.

“Hi chat.”

[hello there]

First: [General Kenobi!]

[yoooooooo]

[hi izuku!]

“I’m getting ready to leave now. Wish me luck on the exam, okay?”

[definitely]

SweetDreams: [ganbatte~]

[good luck]

[knock ‘em dead!]

[break a leg!]

[dude]

[too soon?]

Izuku sighed and stepped outside, ready to take the exam. He still had butterflies in his stomach, but he could manage that. With a little help from non-memey chat members and the mods, who Izuku still wasn’t sure who they were, but hypothesized that they were some part of One-For-All, he got his nerves under control and tried his best to explain his quirk to Inko on the drive over.

“So you’re telling me that every day since you were two, people have been watching your life through your eyes on the internet?” Inko asked, understandably concerned. “Forgive me for saying this, but I honestly think your quirk is creepy and invading your privacy. Oh god, please tell me it didn’t show anything when you had to use the bathroom and the like.”

“Apparently, it didn’t. The chat tells me my quirk shuts the stream off whenever something that violates the Twitch TOS comes on screen. And if you’re worried about the secret of All Might’s quirk getting out, apparently GBSBot is very efficient at cover-ups and purging the internet of any proof.”

“Are you streaming right now? And what is this ‘GBSBot?’”

“No, I turned it off so we could have this private conversation. And the GBSBot is apparently the online persona of my quirk. It moderates and manages my chat while also keeping sensitive information private. Apparently, it’s scared my chat several times after they tried to leak One-For-All onto the internet.”

“I see. Well, as long as it’s keeping you safe, I don’t mind. Just, be careful, okay? You never know what kind of people might be out there on the internet.”

“I will, Mom.”

“Thank you,” Inko said, pulling up to the front of U.A. She hugged Izuku one last time, giving him a kiss on the top of his head for good luck. Izuku blushed and reciprocated her affection, getting out of the car and waving goodbye. “Good luck, Izuku! I’ll see you this afternoon!’

“Thanks, Mom. Love you!”

“Love you too!” she called out the car window as she drove away.

Izuku watched her go and tapped his left hand, bringing the chat back as he gazed upon the campus of U.A., smiling softly. Just ten months ago, it seemed out of his reach, but now here he was, ready to take his destiny into his own hands.

“Well, chat, I’m here. God, I never thought I’d make it this far.”

[you got this!]

[good luck!]

[kick some ass]

[take names]

SweetDreams: [and phone numbers if possible]

[well, yeah]

Sixth: [Best of luck Ninth.]

First: [We believe in you. All eight of us.]

Eighth: [Good luck, Young Midoriya! I’m afraid that’s all I can say as of now, so I wish you the best.]

“Thanks, Yagi-sensei. That is you, right?”

Eighth: [Correct! Unfortunately, I must go now. But have no fear, Young Midoriya, for I am here.]

Izuku sniffled, caught up in emotion following the sudden influx of support from the chat. He managed to compose himself and he opened his mouth to thank them once more. Someone rudely bumped into his shoulder, and Izuku found himself staring into the beady red eye of one Katsuki Bakugo.

“Get out of the fucking way, Deku,” he snarled, heading into the building with his usual uncaring arrogant attitude. Izuku nearly froze upon seeing him, but stopped when he saw the amount of venom the chat was spitting back at Bakugo. 

[oh this motherfucker again]

[we can still sell him on the dark web, just saying]

[dude, we’ve been over this, no ]

[that’s it, i’m calling the hitman]

[ don’t ]

SweetDreams: [he doesn’t seem very nice. horrible partner, honestly.]

Seventh: [If I had a body, I’d probably lecture him and then break his kneecaps.]

“You… you guys don’t like Kacchan?”

[kacchan my ass ]

[izuku, we mean no disrespect, but open your eyes]

[bakugo is not your friend]

[and you shouldn’t call him as such]

“O-Okay…”

[we can talk about it later, time to take exam]

“Oh, right. Time to take my first step to becoming a hero—”

Izuku took a step forward and immediately tripped over his own foot.

“And I’m a failure. I’m sorry, All-Might, chat, everyone who supported me, I failed you—”

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]

[oh shit]

[no god why u do dis]

[good night, sweet prince]

[guys]

[f]

[f]

[guys he hasn’t hit the ground]

[f]

[wait what?]

Izuku blinked, realizing that he had, indeed, not hit the ground. Rather, it appeared that he was floating above said ground and was currently trying to figure out how this was happening in the first place. He didn’t get much time to think about it when a pair of shoes appeared next to him, orienting him upright.

“There we go!”

He turned to thank whoever had saved him from falling, and immediately, his words died in his throat. Standing before him was the cutest girl he’d ever seen in his life. She had a brown bob with two bangs that framed her round and plump-looking face, and her smile felt warm and genuine, very unlike the girls who tormented him back at Aldera.

Her cheeks seemed to have a permanent blush on them, and her eyes matched the auburn of her hair. She gave off this aura of friendliness and joy that was extremely contagious. She placed her fingertips together and muttered “Release!” under her breath. Izuku felt his weight return to him, and he looked in awe at the angel before him, completely entranced.

[oh she’s cute]

[oh shit she’s a girl who’s talking to izuku]

[oh she might be girlfriend material]

“Sorry about using my quirk on you without giving you a head’s up first,” she apologized, scratching the back of her head. “I just thought it’d be bad luck to fall before the exam, y’know? I guess you just looked like you need some help, Deku.”

[aaaaand she’s done it]

[fuck man, it was a good run]

[damnit]

[we were this close to greatness]

She noticed the way he flinched at the name and immediately blushed, flailing into apology mode. “Is that not your name?! Sorry, I just heard the other boy call you that and I thought it was weird that he was calling you something nice as an insult. Where I’m from, Deku sounds like Dekiru, like ‘you can do it’ and I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings!”

[faith in humanity restored]

[wait, someone fact check this]

[guys, i’m from mie, and i can confirm that she’s right]

[:eyes: no shit?]

[yeah he’s right]

Epsilon: [ah yeah let the harem commence]

[who the fuck]

Seventh: [Not actually a bad idea.]

[what the fuck]

“I-I never really thought about it that way,” Izuku stammered. “Y-You can call me Deku if you’d like.”

“Okay, Deku! C’mon, we’d better hurry, otherwise we’ll miss orientation. I’m Ochako Uraraka, by the way. What’s your real name?” she asked curiously, a friendly smile on her face. 

“I-Izuku Midoriya.”

“That’s a nice name! ‘A old story from the valley of green.’ Well, it certainly sounds like there’s a story behind it,” Ochako commented, walking with Izuku inside. They came to the orientation hall, and Ochako offered him a smile as they both took their orientation pamphlets and headed inside. “Well, this is where we part ways. Good luck, Deku!”

“Y-You too, Uraraka-san,” Izuku replied as she walked away, his cheeks flush with emotion. The chat, who had been mostly silent through the exchange, suddenly burst to life, congratulating him on not completely failing to talk to a girl.

[achievement get: talked to a girl]

[i think she likes you]

SweetDreams: [you left quite the impression, midoriya. i hope the two of you will get along in the future~]

[we shipping?]

[hell yeah we shipping]

[right on dudes]

[all aboard the ship train!]

“Chat, please, I barely know her—”

“Deku, shut the fuck up,” Bakugo snarled next to him. Izuku promptly did so and watched the stage before him, almost bursting into a mutterstorm when the famous hero Present Mic walked onstage and greeted the audience with an enthusiastic 

“Everybody say HEY!”

Unfortunately for Mic’s attempts to get the crowd more engaged, no one was feeling particularly talkative and he was met with silence. He tried once more and was met with the same result, which was unfortunate, considering that everyone was super tense.

He sighed and went on with the orientation, explaining that the exam would be divided into two parts: written, which they would take after the orientation, and practical, which would occur after a fifteen-minute lunch break. Mic got about halfway done with explaining the different kinds of enemies the examinees would have to face in the practical when a blue-haired man stood and interrupted him. 

“Excuse me! You have addressed three types of faux villains in this orientation, but on the pamphlet there are four! If this is an error, then it is unbefitting of U.A., Japan’s best hero university!” he ratted off, chopping his hand like a robot. Then he turned and pointed at Izuku, his face very unfriendly and hostile. “And you with the curly green hair! You have been muttering this entire time! If you think this is a game, then leave immediately!”

[wow]

[ok asshole]

Seventh: [Does this guy need a hand with the stick up his ass?]

Sixth: [Perhaps you’d have better luck with his faulty programming.]

[damn]

[shots fired]

[hit em, sixth!]

Second: [Did Sixth just make a joke?]

Fourth: [Looks that way.]

Third: [What’s next, First is secretly a huge memelord?]

First: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ybW48rKBME ]

[:monkaHMM:]

Third: [OH GODDAMNIT]

First: [:microlul:]

“Examinee 89345, please sit down. Antagonizing other students, even when they are causing a disturbance, intentional or not, is strictly prohibited. This is your first and only warning or you will be disqualified, understand?” Present Mic asked, no hint of jest in his voice. 

When the Bluestick nodded and sat, he continued. “Thank you. Now, to answer your question, the final faux villain will give you no points, and it is considered a distraction and obstacle that should be avoided, as opposed to the one, two, and three pointers. Anyone else have any questions before we continue?”

There were no questions, and Mic went on to explain that the examinees would not be testing with their classmates, which greatly relaxed Izuku and the chat. He then dismissed them for the written portion of the exam, leaving Izuku with only the chat to give him a few words of encouragement before he silenced them and went take the test.

One completed and triple-checked test later, Izuku climbed onto the bus to Testing Ground Gamma with a full stomach, courtesy of U.A.’s chef, Lunch Rush. He was still understandably nervous and had hoped to talk to Ochako again to help calm himself, but he was unable to find her at lunch. 

Of course, the chat took notice of his search and thankfully refrained from teasing him, as Izuku was already stressed out enough. The last thing he needed was to be teased about potential love interests. That didn’t stop them from shipping them really hard, especially after Izuku turned off the chat to have a little semi-private moment to himself.

He didn’t understand why he looked forward to seeing Ochako so much. Maybe it was because she was the first person his age to treat him like an actual human being, rather than something to be squashed under a heel. Maybe it was because she felt approachable. Maybe it was because he really liked her smile and he really liked her personality— wait, what?

Izuku shook his head, feeling his face get hot. Was he coming down with something? Maybe it was just some last minute jitters just getting to him. Yeah, that was it. Right?

Right?

[babey has a crush:peepoheart:]

SweetDreams: [ah, young love fills me with such joy]

BattleBunny: [i feel like i should be mad, but it’s too cute to be mad at]

TakeyamaFromTheBack: [honestly, yeah. watching him crush over a girl is too cute!]

GBSBot has changed TakeyamaFromTheBack’s name to ThotMountain

ThotMountain: [wait, why?]

GBSBot: [ :) ]

ThotMountain: [okay…]

As Izuku stepped off the bus to Training Ground Beta, he turned the chat back on, seeing the chat starting to be oddly secretive about something.

“Chat, what’d you do?”

No response.

“Alright then. Keep your secrets.”

He turned to the front gate and noticed that everyone was spread out, stretching and on edge. He saw Ochako and his mood lightened, but as he moved to go talk to her, the Bluestick stepped in his way.

“That girl appears to be calming herself. As you know, interfering in another examinee’s exam-taking ability is strictly prohibited,” he reprimanded Izuku, chopping his arm rapidly as his glasses gleamed. “Do I need to report you for interfering in another examinee’s exam?”

[asshole]

[did he forget mic called him out for this?]

[izuku, pull a no u]

“Didn’t Present Mic warn you about interfering with others?”

“Yes, but—”

“Aren’t you doing that right now?”

The Bluestick stopped, and thought about it before going stone-faced. He turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Izuku by his lonesome. He sighed and turned to go to Ochako, but suddenly Mic’s voice cracked over a loudspeaker.

“START!”

Some examinees took off running into the testing ground, destroying every single villain they could in sight. Others, like Izuku, froze in their tracks and looked around, confused.

“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! THERE’S NO COUNTDOWNS IN REAL LIFE!”

[shit]

[go!]

[GO IZUKU GO]

[RUN, DEKU, RUN!!!]

Izuku spurred his body into action, dashing into the training ground with panic shaking his entire body. What was he even going to do in there, punch one robot and render that arm useless?! Then he’d be helpless for the rest of the exam!

[Izuku]

[izuku move!]

[get out of the way!]

[GIANT SCORPION ROBOT ABOUT TO IMPALE YOU MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS]

“What—”

He looked over his shoulder and saw the Two-Pointer blinking its visual sensor at him. He froze like a startled rabbit, unable to move. 

[MOVE]

[WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET OUT OF THE WAY]

[MOVE YOUR DEAD FUCKING ASS]

[BRO HE’S DEAD STRAIGHT UP]

“DEKU!” a voice nearby screamed, Izuku whipped his head to the side when a flash of brown tackled him out of the way of the stinger. They both landed in a heap nearby, Izuku rolling over so that Ochako was on top of him. She looked over him for injuries, concern written all over her face. “Are you okay?!”

“I am now that you’re here,” he replied without thinking.

The effect was instantaneous. Ochako’s permanent blush deepened and she hurried off of him, blushing deeply with the ghost of a smile dancing across her face as she ran off, heart racing for reasons other than vigorous exercise.

“Was it something I said?”

[oh you sweet summer child]

[you were smooth]

[ really fucking smooth ]

[just slide into her dms, why dontcha]

[go fight some robots so you can get into ua!]

“Oh, right…”

Izuku took off running, looking for robots to destroy with his glass cannon quirk, but everyone was faster and more determined than him. He’d turn a corner and discover a few pointers only to have some French dude fire a laser from his navel and clear them out. Next, Bluestick zipped around like a Sonic wannabe while Ochako herself rained robots from the sky, crushing them with their natural gravity.

He was finished. Completely and utterly. He had failed the second he had walked into the Testing Ground. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t be a hero if he couldn’t even use One-For-All without breaking a limb. Some successor he turned out to be.

And to make things worse, everyone was running now because of the giant Zero-Pointer that blocked out the sun. Even Bluestick, who accused him of making this a game. Maybe it was some game, a game of how much can we make this guy’s life miserable. Oh look, he’s frozen, absolutely terrified at the sight of the Zero-Pointer.

[bro]

[izuku this ain’t like you]

[we believe in you]

[and even if you don’t believe in yourself]

[aw yis gurren lagann time]

[at least believe in those who believe in you!]

“Oww…”

Izuku’s head shot up, and he saw Ochako trapped beneath a pile of rubble, her foot pinned in an awkward position. She couldn’t use her quirk, and the Zero-Pointer was rolling right towards her, threatening to squash her. He couldn’t let that happen.

[oh shit]

[bro the power of boners]

[is this simping?]

BattleBunny: [you call it simping and i’ll break your fucking legs]

ThotMountain: [this is just him wanting to help a girl, he’s not doing it for her attention]

SweetDreams: [calling a heroic action simping is such an insult to heroics]

[ok ok jeez]

Izuku charged forward, feeling the power of One-For-All surged through his legs as he leapt into the air, facing the massive Zero-Pointer with an angry expression.

“SMASH!!!” he roared, unleashing a punch as seven after-images followed his arm, glowing with power. The wind crumpled the front of Zero-Pointer’s face as his fist collided with it, the power causing it to topple back. It fell backwards, crushing the fresh wave of pointer bots U.A. had sent out, exploding on the way down.

[YOOOOOOOOO]

[ONE PUNCH MAN]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[wait guys his legs and right arm are broken and he’s falling]

[oh no]

[he’s dead]

Izuku turned his gaze to the ground and noted his rapid approach towards the ground. He figured that if he could time it correctly, he could use his left arm to not become a pancake. He fell towards the ground, and then a hand slapped across his face, slowing his descent to a crawl.

He looked over to the side as his body stopped an inch above the ground, seeing Ochako on top of a floating chunk of metal, looking very nauseous. She pressed her fingertips together and muttered “Release,” gently dropping both of them to the ground. Then her hands went to her mouth and she vomited, but it didn’t appear to be normal vomit.

[yo did she just]

[she just puked rainbows]

[he really likes her]

[wait i think he’s passing out]

[yep there he goes]

[jeez, that was something, wasn’t it?]

[yeah it was holy shit]

[i can’t wait till he wakes up] 

[hopefully it’ll be better]

[i would hope]

[that Zero-Pointer defeat tho]

[:PogChamp: yeah that was great]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

Chapter Text

First: [yata tata tada]

First: [it is good day to be not dead]

Seventh: [Pow! You are dead!]

First: [ i am dead! ]

Sixth: [No.]

First: [But Sixth--]

Sixth: [No buts, First. You can play your games later, but right now, Ninth is about to wake up.]

Seventh: [Right. Here’s hoping his mother and/or Chiyo doesn’t tear him a new one.]

Izuku groggily opened his eyes, groaning as he sat up. He looked around and found himself seated on a cot in the nurse’s office, just as Recovery Girl had predicted. He tested his arm and legs and found that they were healed and without pain, much to his relief.

“Ah, you’re finally awake,” a woman’s voice greeted.  “Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as me and that thief over there.”

He looked over to the woman with a confused look on his face. She was blonde, with her hair done up into two messy buns. Her eyes were an amber color and she had a permanent blush, much like Ochako herself.  “What?”

“Kidding, kidding,” she laughed, revealing her sharp, pointy fangs. “It’s a little joke I like to play on people who just woke up. I’m Himiko Toga, by the way. Second-year nursing student here at U.A. under Shuzenji-sensei. You might know her as Recovery Girl. I gotta say, you really did a number to that Zero-Pointer, Midoriya.”

“You saw that? How-- right.”

“Yep, I watched the Green Bean Stream. Never thought you were such a cutie in real life, though. You look so much better in real life~.”

[girl!]

[girl like Izuku :PogChamp:]

Epsilon: [:haremtime:]

Zel: [this is where the fun begins]

[f e m a l e]

[who are these people i’ve never seen them before]

[why do i feel like i shouldn’t ask too many questions?]

GBSBot: [ :) ]

[ah that’s why]

“Um, where’s Uraraka-san? Is she alright?” Izuku asked, trying to ignore the shenanigans of the chat and his own embarrassment. The last thing he remembered about the girl that had presumably saved his life was the rainbow she had vomited.

“Oh, your lady friend? Look a bit to your left.” Himiko replied, pointing a finger. “She wanted to make sure you were okay, so she decided to stay until you woke up. It looks like she was all tuckered out.”

He turned to his left and nearly leapt out of his cot. Ochako was asleep in a chair next to him, no sign of any sort of pain present in her body. She breathed softly, making cute noises as she dreamed. Izuku noticed that she had taped her pinkies to not accidentally activate her quirk. 

[oh my god she’s adorable]

[babey 2: floaty boogaloo]

[god look at her she’s so cute!]

[izuku marry this girl]

Bathory: [u totally should she’s v cute]

Izuku screamed internally, not noticing Himiko giggling to herself as she pocketed her phone. She smiled as Ochako stirred and blinked her eyes, seeing Izuku above her. “Deku…?”

“Y-Yeah?” Izuku squeaked, and the chat lost it.

[ oh my god he sounded like a dog toy ]

[:microlul:]

[:lul:]

[that was adorable]

[just like him]

[agreed]

“Waz time iz it?” Ochako slurred, rubbing her eyes. “I need to get going to my apartment. Oh, you’re awake. You feeling okay?”

“Y-Yeah, t-thanks for asking.” He replied, looking away. All of his higher brain functions seemed to cease when he was around her, and for the life of him, he couldn’t find out why. What was it about Ochako that made his brain cells exit en mass? Sure, she was pretty, but--

[damn he got bit by the lovebug hard ]

[oh my god he’s so cute]

[he needs dating advice]

Seventh: [Oooh, dating advice. Um, treat a girl nicely, and…]

Izuku ignored the chat and found that he had been out for three hours. His mother was most likely worried sick about him, but Ochako had been kind enough to wait for him, so the least he could do was walk her home. He cleared his throat, gaining both girl’s attention.

“Um, Uraraka-san, thank you for waiting for me,” he said, thanking his lucky stars that he had managed to say that without stumbling all over his words. Ochako blushed and waved her hand like it was no big deal, but Izuku spoke again before she could say it was nothing. “Um, as thanks, can I, um w-wal…

[c’mon izuku]

[use your hidden smooth]

[i’m mashing the charisma boost button as hard as I can]

[ mash harder ]

[ i’m trying bro ]

[ fuck dude my fingers are hurting ]

GBSBot: [mash harder coward]

Somehow, the frantic button mashing of one viewer subtly influenced the dice roll of fate. The collective will of all of Izuku’s viewers sent a message to the heavens, wherein a realm beyond human comprehension, the Fates rolled for Izuku’s charisma check, and he got double natural 20s.

“Can I um, walk you home?”

“I would love that,” Ochako nodded rapidly. “I’m not too familiar with this area and having you around will help me feel safer. Thank you.”

She smiled, and Izuku nearly passed out from the bright light in front of him before he came back down to Earth. He didn’t say much afterward as the two of them packed up to leave, changed back into their uniforms, and stepped outside as the afternoon sun began to descend towards the horizon, illuminating the two sunshine children on their way home after a long day of exams.

Toga watched them go and sighed, muttering to herself. “I love them already." 

She then turned and looked outward, raising an eyebrow. “What? You’re gonna tell me you’ve never dreamed about having both a husband and a wife? How boring.”

[oh you have got to be kidding me]

[of all the days]

[seriously, what asshole just lights up an apartment building like this?]

[according to the news, it was endeavor]

[ofc it was]

[was he chasing another villain?]

[looks like it]

[what’s uraraka going to do now?]

[i hope she has enough money for a hotel room]

Ochako stared at the smoldering ruins of the apartment building, frozen in shock. She and Izuku had turned the corner and noticed the smoke from a block away. She had bolted before he fully realized what was going on. Both of them ran through the crowd to the edge of the police line, and here they were, watching firefighters combat the blaze.

“Uraraka-san?”

“All of my clothes were in there…” she said softly, her voice wobbling. “My dresses, my furniture, the mittens my mom gave me to sleep… all gone.”

She fell to her knees, sopping loudly. “What am I going to do? I barely have enough money for a meal, let alone a hotel room or a new wardrobe!”

[oh shit]

[she’s homeless]

[and broke]

[fuck why can’t we throw money at her]

[probably cause she doesn’t stream and we’d become simps]

Mamadoriya: [Izuku, we do have that spare room back at the house. Offer her that.]

[wait]

[:EYES: MAMADORIYA ]

[HIIIIIIIIIIIII]

[oh shit mamadoriya is here?!]

[:Pogchamp: mamadoriya]

“Mom, are you sure? And how did you even find this stream?”

Mamadoriya: [Yes, and google is very easy to use, Izuku.]

“Ah.”

Izuku turned back to the sobbing girl and knelt down beside her, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t react and kept crying, much to his dismay. He started formulating a plan to ask her but found that he couldn’t quite put the necessary words together. 

[bro you’re overthinking it]

[just tell her]

Mamadoriya: [The easiest way to tell her is to do that, tell her.]

“Um, Uraraka-san? I um, have a spare room back at my house. If you’d like, you can stay there.”

She stopped crying for a second and turned around to look at him. “What?”

“Well, you did kinda save my life back in the exam, so I figured it was the least I could do,” Izuku replied, snatching the back of his head before he threw up his hands defensively. “Um, not that you’re obligated too or anything--”

Ochako stood up and put a finger over his lips, stopping him from talking. She stared at him with an emotion that almost looked like anger, piercing his very soul with the glare of a thousand suns. He gazed back, terrified and very slightly aroused by her auburn eyes blazing with determination.

“I’ve known you for less than a day, and in that time, I redefined a nickname for you, we saved each other’s lives, and now you’re offering me space in your home?” she asked quietly. Izuku half-nodded, not quite sure about his own answer. Ochako narrowed her eyes at him, and Izuku wondered if he should start thinking an apology. 

“This feels suspiciously like an anime and I can’t for the life of me figure out why,” Ochako said, shaking her head. “But you know what? Screw it. I don’t have anywhere else to go. Maybe you could show me around, help me find some clothes stores. I’ll do chores! You don’t even have to pay me!”

[task failed successfully]

[ oh my god ]

[pfft]

[:lul:]

[:OMEGALUL:]

[:microlol:]

[is this when we pog?]

“O-Okay. Um, the train back home is this way. And um, before we get too far, my quirk, um sorta streams whatever I see. There are some exceptions, but I thought I’d let you know so that you aren’t surprised when my mom welcomes you inside.”

“Your quirk streams?”

“Yeah, why?”

“...to be honest I’m poor and a bit envious of your ability to generate money by just existing,” Ochako said bluntly.

“Oh.” Izuku replied. He hadn’t considered the economic consequences of his quirk. Hopefully that wouldn’t get in the way of his relationship with her.

“Eh, whatever. Time to meet your mom!”

“It’s nice to meet you, Uraraka! I’m Inko, Izuku’s mother.”

“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Midoriya.”

“Come in, come in. You must be so stressed after that fire. Izuku, would you be a dear and help her get settled in?” Inko asked, ushering her son and whom she hoped would be her daughter-in-law through the doorway. Ochako smiled and stepped inside the small house, unable to stop herself from surveying the fine furnishings. Inko noticed and made a mental note to herself to make Ochako busy so that she felt like she earned any gifts. “I was just finishing up some katsudon. It’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

Izuku led Ochako to the guest room, where she laid down her backpack full of essentials and sighed. Her extra clothes had burned in the fire and there was no way she was wearing the same clothes more than three times in this cold weather. So that meant she’d have to borrow some and judging by Inko, there was no way she was going to fit into of her spare clothes. Which left her with only one option.

“Can I borrow some of your clothes? Mine were destroyed in the fire, and I don’t think I would fit into any of your mother’s clothes,” she asked Izuku, making him blush slightly. “I know it’s weird, but you look about my size, and it’s only temporary. I’ll give them back once I buy new clothes.”

Spoiler alert: She didn’t give the clothes back.

“S-Sure! Let me show you my room and y-you can pick out which ones you like!” Izuku replied, utterly failing to contain the blush on his face. Ochako followed him down the hall and stopped at the doorway, amazed by the amount of merchandise he had. Izuku was understandably embarrassed, tapping his forefingers together as he shifted from side to side. 

“What’s the matter, Deku?”

“Um, it’s just… this is the first time I’ve ever shown a girl the inside of my room…” he admitted sheepishly. He stared at the ground, waiting for her to laugh at him and call him names. Just like all the other girls and people at his old school who bullied him.

“You have a figure of Thirteen?! Wait, is that- no way! The limited-edition that came with an autographed poster?!”

[you marry this girl right now izuku]

[do not let her get away]

[she’s perfect for you]

Seventh: [If you grab a nearby piece of metal, I can temporarily take over your body and curl it into a wedding ring.]

[wait, you can do that?]

First: [We can do that? Since when?]

Sixth: [Well, kinda. It usually happens when [REDACTED] is used at full power.”

First: [Huh. Why didn’t I try that earlier?]

Second: [Probably because you have some respect for human boundaries.]

First: [That’s fair.]

“Y-You like Thirteen?”

“I LOVE THIRTEEN!” Ochako cheered, getting an excited smile on her face, much like the ones Izuku would get while talking about his favorite heroes. “She’s so cool! I love her space aesthetic, and how she rescues people using her quirk to suck up debris, and how kind she is!”

[oh my god]

[it’s contagious]

[no one is safe]

[from what, adorably gushing over favorite heroes?]

[honestly doesn’t sound that bad to me]

[sign me the fuck up]

“I know right?!” Izuku replied, getting the same excited look in his eyes. “Hang on, I think I have some Thirteen pajamas! I never wore them because it turns out that they were for girls, but I think they should still fit you. Hopefully.”

He dug around in his closet for a few seconds and emerged with a pair of pajamas. The shirt was white with a decal of Thirteen floating in a starry background, while the pants contained various patterns of stars and the occasional Thirteen herself.

“Here we are! They haven’t been used, and I never had the heart to actually return them because I figured they were would be worth something later in life. You can keep them if you’d like. I’d just be letting it gather dust otherwise.”

Ochako stared at him for a few seconds before gingerly taking the pajamas into her hands, feeling the soft, fluffy material of the pants with her hands. She didn’t say anything and continued rubbing as if she were in a trance, tears welling up in her eyes.

“D-Did I do something wrong?” Izuku asked in a panic, already going into fix-it mode. Ochako was crying, which meant there was a problem, and that meant he would have to fix it before it got out hand. What was the problem? Were they too small? Had he accidentally been an asshole to her? Was she offended in some other way? Time to apologize. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset-”

“I’m not upset,” Ochako laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. Izuku stopped and raised an eyebrow, unsure as to how that was. She caught his eye and smiled, nearly blinding him for the second time that day. “I’m actually really happy. We’ve known each other for less than a day and you’ve already given me more kindness than I probably deserve.”

[aww]

[that’s cute]

[hang on, doesn’t ochako mean ‘tea child?’]

[yeah, why?]

[greentea is their ship name]

[:EYES:]

[greentea :PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

“Uraraka-san, I--”

“You really helped me out today, Deku. A girl who you knew for less than an hour, and already you’ve saved my life, given a place to stay, and offered me some of your clothes. What did I do to deserve all of this?”

“Um… well…”

He paused and looked away, blushing as he collected his thoughts. 

“...would you believe me if I said that you were nice to me?”

Ochako raised an eyebrow at him. “Why would anyone not want to be nice to you? You seem pretty nice to me. Is there a reason that I shouldn’t be nice to you?”

A coy look spread across her face. She smiled like a puma about to spring on a rabbit, making Izuku shiver. “Are you into girls that are mean to you, Deku? Because I can do that if you’d like~.”

[oh shit]

[she’s assertive]

[well mark me down as scared and horny]

[izuku, marry this girl]

[jesus we really want them to kiss don’t we]

[is that such a bad thing?]

[no, but aren’t there other steps they need to go through first?]

[uraraka looks like she wants a bit more than just a kiss]

[she looks like she just found a delectable snack]

[i mean]

[look at izuku]

[he is a snack]

“Izuku, Uraraka!” Inko called from the dining room. “Dinner’s ready!”

“C-Coming!” Izuku called back, killing the mood. He turned to Ochako, who raised an eyebrow. “My mom’s katsudon is great! I’m sure you’ll love it!”

“If your mom’s cooking is half as good as your kindness, I’m sure it’ll taste wonderful,” Ochako replied, smiling warmly. She gestured for Izuku to lead the way, and she followed him to the kitchen, where Inko had set out three servings of her signature homemade katsudon.

The three of them laughed and ate together, and while Ochako knew she was a stranger at the table, the Midoriya certainly made her feel like she was their old friend. She felt like she belonged at that table, and honestly? She wasn’t opposed to that feeling.

[izuku’s living with the girl he has a crush on pog]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[one of these is not like the others, one of these does not belong]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

Chapter Text

Katsuki Bakugo considered himself to be the hottest shit on the block. Ever since he had turned four and suddenly manifested what he and the rest of the world considered the greatest quirk of all time, he had been praised and rewarded just for existing. He could do no wrong, and anyone weaker than him didn’t deserve the time of day.

He was given a free pass for everything, even if he never took it. He never got in trouble for bullying the quirkless kids in his class, even though one of them had been his best friend earlier in life. He was perfect in the eyes of his peers, and nothing challenged that world view for years.

Bakugo was sure that wouldn’t change anytime soon. Why would it? He was going to be the number one hero. Everyone knew it. His teachers, the hag, the extras, and even Deku, the useless shitty nerd. It was just the reality of the situation.

So when the hag handed him a letter from U.A., he told her to fuck off like he usually did before storming off into his room. It was here. His acceptance letter to his hero university, where he’d show all those extras who was the boss. His next step to greatness was here in his hands.

He tore open the envelope, a small metal disk clattering onto his desk. It stayed motionless for a few seconds before springing to life, revealing the hologram of a white mouse-dog-bear thing. It did not seem pleased, but that didn’t matter as long as he got in. Who cared what others thought?

“Greetings, Katsuki Bakugo. I am President Nedzu of U.A. University. Normally, I would leave these messages to my staff, but you, Bakugo… you are a special case.”

“Damn right I am. I’m the future Number One!”

“Suffice it to say that you passed, Bakugo. This is normally the part where the results are displayed, but I had something else in mind for you.”

“What, did you record a special welcome video for me or something?”

Nedzu’s hologram picked up a clipboard and examined the first page, turning his gaze back onto the explosive blonde watching. A gaze that soon turned angry and cold, much unlike the initial tone the hologram had taken. 

“I have enough evidence of quirkism and bullying to deny you entry to my school and put you in jail immediately for a very, very long time.”

Bakugo did a double-take. “Wait, what?!”

“But, luckily for you, I like to give to people second chances, whether or not they deserve it. As such, before you are permitted to set foot on U.A. grounds, you must agree to mandatory aggression and anger management counseling. Any unexcused absences from those meetings are grounds for expulsion and will be acted on immediately. Your instructor will be informed of your past history and is permitted to punish you as they see fit.”

“This is bullshit!”

“I suggest you comply, Bakugo. I consider my generosity to be plentiful, but even that has limits. Do not waste it.”

Bakugo didn’t know what to say as he sat there, completely dumbfounded. He had been accepted, but at what cost?

“GAME! The winner is… Kirby!”

“And you thought Kirby was a bad choice,” Ochako teased.

“What was I supposed to do against your frame-perfect combos?! It’s like you’ve played this game before--” Izuku protested, not sure how to handle the sudden arrival of Ochako’s thigh against his. He stiffened, looking out of the corner of his eye. She made no indication that she knew what she was doing, and that made Izuku more anxious than he already was.

[oh shit]

[she’s really laying on the flirting]

[and i thought his charisma rolls were good]

[how many times has she borderline asked him out this week?]

[i think like, 10?]

[i thought it was 23]

[oh yeah u rite]

“Say, Deku…” Ochako asked, putting down her controller. She turned to him and got a hungry look on her face. Izuku shivered once more, again feeling like a rabbit in front of a predator.

[uh oh]

[:monka:]

[she’s on the prowl]

[and here we see the wild uraraka. this female has located a suitable mate and has closed in, determined to court with him]

[when the fuck did this become the cinnamon bun hunter]

[shhhh keep going mr irwin]

“Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked innocently, tilting her head curiously. Izuku immediately turned bright red and sputtered, his brain racing to come up with a response. 

“EEEHHHH?! What made you want to know all of a sudden?!”

“Well do you--”

Inko screamed from the down the hall, both Izuku and Ochako whipping their heads to the sound of her scream as her rapid footsteps followed. She slid into the living room, narrowly avoiding a disaster and managing to stay upright as she presented a big envelope marked with URGENT in big bold red letters.

“It came! And it’s addressed to both of you!”

“Wait, what?” Izuku asked, taking the letter from his mother’s hands. The envelope was marked with U.A.’s seal, and upon further inspection, it was revealed that it was indeed addressed to both him and Ochako.

“Huh. Open it, Deku!”

[we just a got a letter]

[we just a got a letter]

[we just a got a letter]

[i wonder who it’s from?:think:]

Izuku opened the letter, allowing the holodisk inside to clatter onto the table. Seconds later, a hologram featuring none other than All-Might himself sprang to life, greeting the room with his trademark smile.

“I AM HERE! AS A RECORDING!”

“Wait, we got All-Might to read our results?!” Ochako squeaked, her eyes nearly popping out of her head. “That’s awesome!”

[all-might recording :PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[:PogMight:]

[not this shit again]

“Greetings, Young Midoriya and Uraraka! I’d like to begin by commending you both on the Entrance Exam. Well done, both of you!”

[didn’t izuku get zero points?]

[yeah, what’s he talking about]

[idk]

[is this going to be a prank]

[i most certainly hope not]

All-Might’s hologram pulled up the scoreboard, still smiling widely.

[wait he got 25 points?!]

[ how ]

[good question]

[maybe we’ll find out]

“To answer the question you’re about to ask, Young Midoriya, when you defeated the Zero-Pointer, it crushed several other pointers on its way down. We decided to allot the points for defeating them to you.”

“I actually scored?!”

Seventh: [Damn right you did, Ninth. Good job. I’m proud of you.]

First: [We did all punch with you. I’d be disappointed if that didn’t do anything.]

Sixth: [Indeed.]

[hang on, all-might’s bouta say something]

“While twenty-five points may not seem that much to you, Young Midoriya, it was still enough to qualify. But defeating villains is not the only thing a hero does. They also rescue those in need! Which brings us to the revised point allotment!”

Izuku blinked twice, seeing his name in first place, two places over Kacch- Bakugo. How was this possible?! And Ochako had gotten first place as well?! What timeline was he in?!

“Congratulations to you both! Let me be the first to welcome you to U.A.! This is your hero university!”

All-Might’s hologram disappeared, leaving Izuku, Ochako, Inko, and the chat in absolute awe. Then Inko regained her senses and turned to her son, eyes filled with tears. “My baby and his friend who’s a girl are going to U.A.! I’m so proud of you both!”

She crushed both of them in a hug as the chat started pogging like crazy, celebrating their acceptance. Inko cried a river as Izuku did the same, and Ochako just blinked, not completely understanding what was happening. 

[pack your bags cinnabuns]

[you’re going to ua!]

[this calls for celebratory conga]

[dancing sounds nice]

[hell yeah!]

[muhfuggen school time]

[ua :PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

“I think that’s the last of it. Do you have all of your stuff unpacked, Uraraka-san?” Izuku asked, looking over his shoulder. Ochako nodded and broke down the last of the moving boxes, remembering to be environmentally responsible. It had been a long day of goodbyes, unpacking, and many tears shed by Izuku and his mother, but they had finally moved into the dorms. Tomorrow was the first day of classes, but there would be an orientation later that day, and both U.A. first-years were anxious beyond belief.

“Yeah, I do. Thanks for your help, Deku,” she said, offering a blindly bright smile to him. “I really appreciate it.”

[ my eyes ]

[if this is the last thing i see before i go blind, then it will be a good sight]

[god she’s so pure ]

[fucking warn us next time before you throw a flashbang like that]

[just like izuku]

[will they just fucking kiss already?!]

[i know right?!]

“Y’know, you never did answer my question last week, Deku.” 

“Eh? What question was that?”

[wait hang on]

[the uraraka has locked her chosen mate in her sights. now, it is up to him to accept the partnership, and not be as dense as a shonen protagonist]

[yeah i don’t think that’s likely]

[did he tune us out again?]

[probably]

Ochako grinned smugly and leaned in, getting nice and personal with him. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

[oh boi]

[the question]

[just tell her bro]

“N-No.” Izuku managed to say, gathering his confidence. 

“Any ex-girlfriends?”

“No.”

“Then…” Ochako stepped closer, confusing Izuku.

“Urara…”

She kissed him. It wasn’t a grandiose kiss or a very long one, for that matter, but it got the message across. Izuku’s eyes went wide. Ochako was kissing him. She was kissing him. What was he supposed to do?! He didn’t get a chance to question it further when she pulled back with the smuggest look imaginable on the human face.

“I’ll be taking your firsts.”

[ LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ]

[achievement get: got a girlfriend]

[WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]

[ship has sailed. I repeat, ship has sailed! this is not a drill!]

[greentea everyone!]

[HELL YEAH, BROTHER!]

[all aboard the hype train!]

[there ain’t no brakes!]

[we don’t need brakes bro]

[FULL STEAM AHEAD]

“Uraraka-san, I--”

“Ochako.” she interrupted, blushing slightly.

“What?”

“We’re dating now. It’s only fair if you call me by my given name.”

“Oh.”

Neither one of them said anything for a few seconds. Then Izuku regained his ability to speak and his brain completely failed to formulate any sort of intelligent speech. He sputtered and stuttered, eventually reduced to a silent blushing mess by another kiss from Ochako, her smug grin only growing.

“C’mon Deku. Let’s go wait in the classroom for everyone else.”

Izuku nodded dumbly and followed her out of his room, smiling like the happiest man alive. He didn’t remember what happened after that or how long it took for his classmates to arrive in their homeroom of 1-A, but he came back to his senses when the Bluestick entered the room.

“You!” he shouted, marching up to Izuku with a neutral expression. Izuku paled as the chat activated their collective dislike of him and prepared internet worthy insults, including one guy who had an entire essay written to roast the Bluestick into oblivion. 

[oh this fucker again]

[it’s the fuckin bluestick]

“Bluestick?”

[yeah he’s blue and has a stick up his ass]

“Oh.”

[either that or he’s metal sonic, and metal sonic is cool]

[damn]

[shots fired]

Izuku prepared for the taller blue-haired and glasses-wearing student to give him a lecture about safety and how the rules were in place to keep people safe. He was surprised when the Bluestick stopped and bowed in front of him in a formation that was usually reserved for asking forgiveness.

“You recognized the true objective of the exam! I apologize for treating you so harshly and judging you without considering your true intentions!” he said, bowing rigidly and keeping his back perfectly straight. “I was hasty and can only beg for your forgiveness!”

“What?”

Seventh: [What?]

Sixth: [What?]

Fifth: [What?]

Fourth: [What?]

Third: [What?]

Second: [What?]

First: [Nani?]

Sixth: [First…]

First: [Bow before my memes, Sixth.]

Sixth: [Why do I even bother?]

“You’re fine, um… sorry, what was your name?”

The bowing student stood up so quickly Izuku was worried he was going to break his back. “I am Tenya Iida. It is an honor to meet you, erm…”

“Izuku Midoriya.”

“I still offer my humblest apologies. My brother and mother have worked endlessly to not judge others based on first impressions. However, I find that it is difficult to do so.”

“I see…”

“Wait a minute… NO WAY!” 

Izuku turned around to see two students suddenly zip into his face, greeting him excitedly. The first had pink skin and a matching cotton candy ball of hair with two yellow horns poking out of it. Her eyes had black sclera and yellow irises, which glimmered excitedly at him. The other had shoulder-length spikey yellow hair with a lightning bolt pattern that Izuku wasn’t sure was natural or not. His eyes were yellow and he nearly squeed at him in excitement. “You’re Izuku Midoriya, right?!”

“Uh, yeah, why?”

[oh no]

[ fans ]

[ochako, your man needs help!]

[run izuku! before they throw their underwear at you!]

Both fans squeed at the top of their lungs, causing every student in the room to clap their hands over their ears. Izuku winced and looked back at the two girls, who grinned widely. Both of them reached for their phones and pulled up Twitch, showing the Green Bean Stream.

“I’m your biggest fan!” Both of them said at the same time, looking at each other and blinking. 

“You like his stream too?” the blonde boy asked.

“I’ve been watching since 6th grade!”

“Really? Me too!”

“Will you fucking extras SHUT THE FUCK UP?! NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE SHITTY NERD!” Bakugo’s all too familiar snarl invaded the room, silencing the various chatter around the room. He stormed in and picked a desk to sit down at, throwing his stuff onto the floor glaring out the window.

[oh you’ve got to be kidding me.]

[why the fuck is he here?!]

[if there were ua teachers watching this stream, wouldn’t they not put bakugo in the same class?]

[we don’t know what they have or haven’t done]

[well, he’s not actively antagonizing izuku, so that’s a start]

SweetDreams: [oh, don’t worry. most of us are quite familiar with Bakugo.]

“While I do not approve of how the silence was achieved, I am glad it happened,” a new voice graveled as a giant caterpillar fell sideways into the room. The students gasped as it inched its way over to the instructor’s desk and righted itself, unzipping to reveal the scruffiest-looking man Izuku had ever seen in his life.

[the fuck is a hobo doing here?]

[that has got to be the most tired man i have ever since in my life, and i have insomnia and a mirror]

[you think he does too?]

[probably]

“I am Aizawa Shota. I’ll be your homeroom instructor for the year. You all have a Quirk Apprehension Test on the training field in ten minutes. Anyone who is late will be expelled, no questions asked.”

[well he’s an asshole]

[what’s his problem?]

[i dunno]

[we’ll see you in 10 minutes izuku! go go go!]

“What is going on? Kacch- I mean, Bakugo hasn’t tried to kill me, I have a girlfriend, and Iida was nice after being mean-- wait.”

Izuku’s mind spun in circles. “I have a girlfriend.”

“Yes, you do,” Ochako said, grabbing his arm. “Now come on. I don’t want either of us to get expelled.”

Minerva Mineta stared at the hole before her, at a crossroads that would change her way of thinking forever. She knew the hole offered a glimpse into the boys’ locker room, and she could see all the bulges she wanted. But at the same time, she knew that the Green Bean himself, Izuku Midoriya was on the other side of that wall, and she had made a promise to never lewd him unless she had the one in a million chance of being in a relationship with him.

But it was right there. A hole to peep on the boys, to see what they had to offer… it was right there, just within her reach. The shortest girl in 1-A, and a notorious pervert at that, was currently having a battle of morals in her head, and she wanted it so badly. 

So she took one of the sticky purple balls off her pigtails and plugged the hole with it, turning around and heading outside, confident that she had made the right choice. It was easier to love a pervert who didn’t leer at you secretly, right?

Minerva really hoped it was.

Izuku stepped out onto the field and took a look at the rest of his classmates, running their names through his head. First, there was the French blonde who he had seen at the entrance exam shooting a laser out of his navel, Yuga Aoyama. Next was one of the fangirls who had greeted him in the classroom, the pink and energetic Mina Ashido. A curious and short girl with froglike traits and forest green hair was next, her name being Tsuyu Asui.

Ochako and Iida were next on the list, but he already knew them. Mashirao Ojiro was blonde and had a tail, and he appeared to be somewhat plain. Next was the other fan who had ambushed him, the trend-following and not very bright Denki Kaminari, followed by the embodiment of teamwork itself, the shark-toothed and red spikey-haired Eiko Kirishima.

Koda Koji was a silent boy whose face resembled a turtle. He seemed nice enough. Next was the thick-lipped Rikido Sato, who was loud and friendly. Leading the third row was the quiet and gentle giant Mai Shoji, who preferred to talk via mouths created by the ends of her six arms. 

Kyoka Jirou was a violet-haired punk rocker, and she was followed by Hanta Sero, a man with tape dispensers for elbows. Not the weirdest quirk, actually. Next was the token goth, the raven-headed Fumikage Tokoyami, and the impassive Zuko stand-in Shoto Todoroki, followed by a set of floating clothes, aka Tooru Hagakure. 

Bakugo said nothing to him and looked away as Izuku’s gaze washed over him, and he saw Minerva Mineta, the shortest girl he had ever seen in his life, blush heavily and sweat rivers when he looked over at her. Finally, the class ended with the regal-aired Momo Yaoyorozu, who unintentionally scared people off with her serious gaze.

“I see you all made it within the time limit. And with no complaints about the QAT. This is a first. Have all of you read the syllabus?”

The class nodded.

[it was fucking looooooooooong, bro]

[i almost fell asleep as Izuku was reading it bro]

[who reads the entire thing?]

[iida, probably]

[he probably reads it for fun]

[honestly wouldn’t be surprised]

[this is bullshit i didn’t sign up for reading on my stream viewing]

[bruh we all read chat]

[...fuck]

“Good. Let’s not waste any time, then. Midoriya, since you are one of those who scored highest in the entrance exam, come stand in this circle.”

Izuku stepped into the pitching circle, taking the ball that his teacher gave him. Aizawa didn’t bother to look up and asked him; “How far can you throw a ball?”

“Usually around forty meters, sensei.”

“Not bad. Now I want you to throw it with your quirk.”

“I can do that?”

Aizawa looked at him with the deadest eyes he had ever seen. “Yes, Midoriya. Please throw the ball, and we can get on with the tests.”

Izuku gripped the ball tightly in his hand, knowing that if he threw it as hard as he could, he would render one of his arms useless. But it would be worth it, right?

[throw it]

[yeet that ball into the atmosphere bro!]

[turn it into a shooting star!]

Izuku gulped. “Ok chat, here I go!”

He cocked back his arm and threw the ball with all of his might, letting One-For-All surge through his arm. But as his limb completed the arc, the power suddenly disappeared and he was left throwing the ball with all the base strength of his arms, where it landed at a measly forty-three meters.

For the viewers on Twitch, the stream suddenly shut down, showing an error screen. They confusedly gasped and checked their internet connection before reloading the tab. The stream started again just as suddenly as it had shut off, this time revealing Aizawa lecturing Izuku.

“You need to learn how to control that quirk of yours so that you are not a liability. I recommend you do it soon, or you will have no place here in U.A. No one needs a single-shot glass cannon on their team-- urf!”

[Seventh used Manifest.]

Aizawa was silenced by a punch across the face from a yellow glove, hitting him a lot harder than any hero student should’ve been. He turned to see who had assaulted him and was stunned to see a muscular woman who certainly hadn’t been there five seconds ago. 

First: [How did she do that?]

[MO-] user was timed out 400 seconds

GBSBot: [no horny]

She was dressed in a black jumpsuit which showed off her muscular curves while keeping her arms bare, with a white cape. Her hair was black and pulled back into a ponytail, with dark gray eyes that were currently giving Aizawa a look of motherly disapproval.

“You call yourself a teacher?” she scolded. “Nint- I mean, Midoriya has only manifested his quirk in the past two weeks and has barely any time to master it without breaking his arms, and you’re expecting him to suddenly be able to know how to do it? God, you’re worse than the pre-quirk American education system.”

[how the fuck does this japanese ghost woman know about our system?]

[my man, how the fuck does anyone not know]

[touche random internet homie]

Aizawa nursed his face and turned to look at the woman, utterly confused. “Ma’am, who are you, and how did you get here, and why did you punch me?”

“I’m Nana Shimura. I’m part of Midoriya’s quirk, and I punched you because expecting him to just get how to use his quirk will do more harm than good. So instead of being stubborn and using nuclear options, I suggest you let a bit more of your compassion into your teaching, Shota Aizawa.”

He did a double-take, not knowing what to say. Nana spoke again, derailing any train of thought the caterpillar man might’ve had before. “Does he get another chance at the ball throw?”

[i’m gonna do it and the bot can’t stop me]

[mother]

GBSBot: [you’re on thin ice for now]

“Yes ma’am,” Aizawa responded, sounding like a scolded child.

“Good. Nint- Izuku, take the ball, and hold it in your hand.”

“Like this?” Izuku asked, holding the ball in his hand.

“Yes. Now, when you throw it, instead of letting the power flood into the limb, let it trickle.”

“Okay…? For some reason, I’m imagining cooking an egg in a microwave. Use the lower setting, right?”

“Exactly. Set that microwave on low. Don’t explode the egg.”

[... out of all the things he decides to imagine, a fucking microwave?]

[brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

[oh don’t you fucking start]

Izuku looked down at the ball and took a deep breath, psyching himself up. Lowest setting. Let the power trickle, not flood. Easy enough. He cocked his arm back and activated One-For-All, feeling the power, but instead of letting it surge in like a river, he dammed it and let a trickle through, chanting a mantra in his head.

It won’t explode it won’t explode it won’t explode it won’t explode!

He tossed the ball, losing control at the last point of contact and breaking his index finger. The ball, on the other hand, sailed across the field, landing a generous 465 meters. Aizawa looked at his phone, using an app to calculate the distance, and nodded, impressed but also terrified of pissing Nana off again.

[well, things just got interesting]

[ghost mother appears displeased]

First: [probably because you’re calling her ghost mother]

Seventh: [the only ones who can call me that are izuku and my son kotaro, wherever he may be.]

[i think he passed tho]

[he passed the ball throw :PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

Izuku clenched his broken finger, trying really hard not to cry out due to the pain. It was really hard, but he was doing it. In the end, he supposed that pain would be something he felt often while he was training to be a hero.

He had no idea how right he was.

Chapter Text

Toshinori Yagi was shook. Which was understandable. It wasn’t every day your successor summoned your dead master like a stand and she decked your coworker. That would be a headache to explain to Aizawa. Then again, when didn’t he get a headache trying to talk to the sleep-deprived caterpillar cosplayer?

But Young Midoriya was currently blazing through the QAT with the help of his deceased master, and he had no idea how that was possible. He’d have to speak to his successor after the test was over. Luckily, he only had to wait about ten minutes before the test ended and Aizawa walked around the corner, looking terrified out of his mind. He glanced at All-Might and shuddered.

“Midoriya is terrifying.”

“What makes you say that, Aizawa?”

“He summoned a woman who decked me and made me feel like a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar,” Aizawa whispered, his eyes staring far into the horizon. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a woman give me a look of utter maternal disappointment?”

“Uh…”

“Thirteen years. Thirteen years of living as an independent adult and that woman makes me feel like I’m in middle school again.”

Aizawa blinked and shook his head, walking quickly back to the teachers’ lounge. “I’m not paid enough for this.”

Toshi watched his coworker go, his jaw hanging open in disbelief. Shota Aizawa, the fearsome underground hero known as Eraserhead, was terrified of the capabilities of one of his students. This was increasingly worrying, considering that Aizawa was practically fearless.

“Young Midoriya, what have you done?”

“So, um, who are you, and why exactly did you punch my teacher?” Izuku asked, now in the privacy of his own room. He figured that this was probably a sensitive topic, so he shut down the stream until further notice so that he could have a conversation with the woman who had suddenly manifested from him.

“My name is Nana Shimura. I’m, well, was the seventh holder of One-For-All, and master to Toshi, its eighth holder. You probably know him as All-Might,” she explained, sitting cross legged on his bed as he took notes. “As for punching your teacher, he’s a dick. He deserved it.”

“You could’ve gotten me expelled.”

“Eh, I doubt it. Something tells me you have nothing to worry about in that department.”

“Ok…”

A knock on the door interrupted any sort of further conversation. Nana and Izuku both turned to the door, wondering who would be knocking. Was it Aizawa coming to tell him that he was expelled for assaulting a teacher? Probably. 

“Deku? Are you in there?” Ochako’s hopeful voice came through the door. “I was thinking about having lunch at the cafeteria. You want to come?”

Izuku let out an audible sigh of relief. “That sounds great, actually. I do need to stop by Recovery Girl on the way there.”

He stood and opened the door, turning the stream back on by a force of habit. Ochako smiled and immediately stole a kiss from him. He sputtered and blushed, brain struggling to comprehend what had just happened as his girlfriend smirked at him, peeking over his shoulder to see Nana giving her a thumbs up in the back.

“Come on, we’re going to be last in line if we don’t get your finger looked at.” Ochako smugly remarked, taking her semi-comatose boyfriend by the hand and pulling him along as Nana followed, failed to suppress her laughter. 

[i guess sweet kiss is super effective]

[sweet kiss doesn’t do any damage tho]

[shush]

[i dunno bro he looks like he lost all his brain cells]

[so this is what the confusion status effect looks like]

[he can’t lose all the brain cells, we gave them to him so he could be smart]

[i invested my brain cells in the right person]

[then everything changed when the uraraka attacked]

[pfft]

[:OchaPog:]

[wait, when was that a thing?]

[uh, yesterday]

[oh]

Ochako pulled Izuku into the nurse’s office. Recovery Girl was taking a nap, so Ochako put Izuku on a cot while Himiko walked over and started examining him. She noted his flustered face and general sense of disorientation as well as Ochako’s smug face and chuckled. “Hit him with the ol’ surprise Sweet Kiss, huh?”

“Yeah. It works every time.”

“Really?”

“Yep. I’ve only done it once and it’s worked that once time, so it’s got a 100% success rate so far.”

“Ha!” Himiko snorted, examining Izuku’s hand. “Well, the good news is he didn’t obliterate his finger, so a simple cast with a healing accelerant will get him back to normal in no time. He just needs to regroup his brain cells.”

“I imagine they’re on their way back,” Nana said, ruffling Izuku’s hair with a free hand. “I’m Nana Shimura, by the way. If you’re going to ask me how I materialized out of thin air, I honestly don’t know how I did that.”

Ochako tilted her head at the taller woman, raising a finger to her chin. “I get that, but are you just made of energy, like a Stand, or are you flesh and blood?”

“I… don’t know. You want to find out?”

“How?”

Nana flexed her arm, presenting her bicep to Ochako. “Just feel this muscle. If I can feel you touching me, then I probably have a real body.”

[MOMMY MUSCL-] user was timed out 400 seconds

GBSBot: [What did I say about horny?]

[alright alright jeez]

PizzaTips: [i dunno she’s pretty hot]

PizzaTips: [i wonder if her thighs coul-] user was timed out 400 seconds  

GBSBot: [Anyone else?]

[nah, nah we’re good]

[no horny here, officer]

“Young Midoriya, I need to speak--” Toshinori opened the door suddenly, barging into the nurse’s office. He froze when he saw all the occupants gaze at him, Nana included.

Toshi?” Nana raised an eyebrow at him, not recognizing him at first.

“Master?” he said, blinking his eyes. Now that he was seeing her up close, he could confirm that it was indeed her. 

“Toshi!” she greeted, arms open wide as she stepped forward.

“Master!” he exclaimed, mirroring her.

“Toshi...” Nana said a bit aggressively, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Master?” Toshinori asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Toshi!!!” Nana roared, anger blazing on her face as she began to close the distance between them.

“Oh Sugar Honey Iced Tea.” Toshi whispered, immediately throwing open the door and fleeing down the hallway. Nana gave chase, yelling after him as their voices flew down the hallway.

“Master please-”

“Toshi I hope you can run fast with those skinny ass legs because when I catch you it’s not going to be pretty!”

They moved far from the nurse’s office and Izuku finally came back from his kiss-induced stupor, looking around.

“What’d I miss?”

First: [Seventh is in the process of presumably tearing Eighth a new one.]

[f for all-might]

[f]

[f]

[f]

[f]

[yeah he deserves an f this time.]

[grant the yellow man the letter]

[f?]

[yes]

“Anyway, you’re good to go, Midoriya,” Himiko assured Izuku, helping him off the cot. “Just don’t make a habit of breaking your bones every day, okay?”

[i’m starting a betting ring on how many times he’ll break his bones before learning]

[bruh the last time i bet was on weapon skins... fuck it lets go]

GBSBot: [ www.greenbeanbettingpool.co.idk half the pot goes towards the Midoriyas]

[i can work with that]

“I-I’ll try.” Izuku replied, blushing at Himiko’s words. Ochako noticed this and giggled internally, strangely not opposed to seeing him like this. If anything, she encouraged the flustering of her boyfriend. It made him look cute. 

“You ready for lunch, Deku?”

“Y-Yeah.”

She giggled again and kissed his cheek, enjoying the blush that spread over Izuku’s face. Both of them made their face down the hall, practically glowing with positive energy. Later, the students who passed them would swear they saw the light level in the room increase when the two walked by.

They arrived in the cafeteria, and Izuku stood in line, Ochako smuggly smiling as always. In front of them, Mina was chatting with Denki and Eiko about their favorite streamers, surprisingly not mentioning him at the moment. Izuku knew that would only last for a moment, considering how he was streaming right now, and Denki was pulling out his phone to check something.

“Mina, what’s this ‘Green Bean Stream’ you keep talking about?” Eiko asked. “I’ve never gotten the chance to see what it actually was. Is it about green beans? Because if it is, then why is a stream about green beans so popular? Is it just memes? I have several questions, Mina.”

“No, it’s not about green beans, it’s popular because of the content, and half of it might be memes. I’m not sure. I haven’t checked today.”

[Seventh has joined the chat.]

Seventh: [Well apparently I can only go so far in my physical form before I come back here.]

First: [How far did you chase Eighth?]

Seventh: [We made it to the dorms before I exited the manifestation area and was sent back here.]

Fifth: [Holy crap. How fast was he?]

Seventh: [Fast enough for me to have to run after him. He’s pretty fast, the lanky bastard.]

[skelemight fast :monkaS:]

[stick man speedrun]

[i still think we probably shouldn’t know about this]

[we can’t say anything about it without the info being thanosed, it’s fine]

[are you sure?]

[yeah bud]

GBSBot: [ :) ]

[oh god what’d i do this time]

[i dunno but rip you]

“If it’s not about green beans, then what is it about?” Eiko asked, sitting with Mina, Denki, Ochako, Izuku, Tsuyu, and Tooru. Iida came in a second later, taking his own seat across from Izuku. Mina smirked and looked over at Izuku, making him blush. Why were so many girls looking at him in unexpected ways? 

[i haven’t had female contact in years and even i can see that horny]

[how the fuck have you managed no contact]

[virus B]

[...what?]

“It’s about a boy, and it’s been going on the last eighteen years, give or take.”

“Really? What’s so interesting about this boy?”

[oh you have no idea]

[everything, really]

[he’s smart, adorable, not to mention a cinnamon bun who likes to save people]

[honestly just a good boi all around]

[just one good ball of boi, a boi ball if you will]

[i’d rather not but i think i get what you’re on about]

[i hope you do because i don’t]

“Well, watching him grow up in the face of adversity is very inspiring. He has a streaming quirk, but he didn’t know it existed until like two weeks ago, so he thought he was quirkless for most of his life.” Mina replied, making full eye contact with Izuku as she pulled out her phone. “Here, let me show you…”

[oh shit]

[that’s not good]

[izuku you might want to cover your ears]

[i detect imminent fangirl squeeing]

[ the screams, the memories ]

[i don’t think i could do that again bro]

Eiko took Mina’s phone and began watching the stream. It didn’t seem that special, just a bunch of college kids sitting around a lunch table and chatting with one another. Yeah, there wasn’t anything weird about this. Aside from a large number of viewers. That confused him. He looked closer, and then realized that the college kids looked familiar.

Very familiar.

[here it comes]

[all hands, brace for impact!]

Smoke: [NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER, FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPEROR]

[i mean same but like, that’s a fair bit of caps my man]

First: [Warhammer 40k survived for this long? Jesus, is there anything from my period that didn’t survive?]

[you presumably]

First: [fuck you and ouch at the same time]

“Wait a second… is that… me?” Eiko said, pointing at herself on the screen. The image on the phone mirrored the action, and her eyes went wide in shock. “It is me!”

She looked up, darting her eyes around the table, trying to figure out where the camera for the stream was. There were the security cameras for the school, but those certainly would not have a high enough resolution to contribute footage as clean as this. Someone at the table must’ve been wearing a camera, but who?

[She’ll get it, eventually]

[eh, i dunno, seems about as dense as her quirk makes her]

[rock joke, clever]

[thank you, thank you, i’ll be here all week]

Eiko glared at the other side of the table, knowing by the camera’s perspective that it could only be someone sitting in front of her. She narrowed his eyes, looking for any trace of button or tie cameras. Finding none, she furrowed her bow as Denki and Mina giggled quietly.

“Alright, which one of you is wearing a camera?” Eiko asked, putting on her best angry eyes. “This isn’t funny!”

[so close, yet so far]

[you think if izuku poked himself in the eyes stream would stop for technical difficulties]

[no but i do think it would hurt]

“Yeah I’m not doing that chat.”

[fair enough]

Eiko caught Izuku’s whisper and turned his gaze in his direction. He paled, expecting some kind of angry remark like the ones Bakugo would usually throw in his direction, but he was pleasantly surprised by his shocked expression as he finally put two and two together.

“Wait, hang on. Mina, didn’t you say that the dude had a streaming quirk?”

“Yep.”

“...it’s Midoriya, isn’t it?”

“Yep,” Mina admitted, falling into full body laughter as Eijiro sighed. 

[if people scream i riot]

[heaven forbid the textbox rioting]

[you should fear the power words hold, for example...MO-] user was timed out 600 seconds

GBSBot: [alright enough of that you troglodyte]

[i see]

[so this is the power of ultra anti-horny]

GBSBot: [damn right it is]

[can this power be taught?]

GBSBot: [not to you idiots]

[aight that’s rude and uncalled for but also completely factual]

[never before have i been more offended by something i 100% agree with]

Eiko offered an apologetic look to Izuku. “Sorry about my aggression earlier. I just don’t like surprises like that. Good surprises are great, and I like to think I’m a decent judge of character, so I trust that you won’t use that stream of yours for any unmanly reasons.”

[what does she mean by unmanly]

[i dunno]

[being unmanly bruh it’s so simple]

[if you share her collective brain cell then yeah probably]

Pinky: [now that’s just mean >:( ]

Pinky: [i’ll have you know that kiri has more brain cells than i ever will]

[new name pog?]

[hold that pog fren]

“Wait, you’re a streamer?” Tooru asked, tilting her head as the rest of Class 1-A gathered around the lunch table. “Why haven’t I heard of you before?”

[Seventh used Manifest.]

Nana crossed her arms, shaking her head in a disappointed manner. The rest of the class gasped at her sudden appearance, Izuku included. How did she do that?

“Um... I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?” Nana asked, confusing Tooru.

A voice rang out in the distance “If I call you Mom now will the bot attack me?”

“No, but I will!” Nana yelled back, causing the other person to sit back down and shut up. She turned back to Tooru and gestured at Izuku. “D-Do you have any idea, any idea who he is?”

“No?”

“Basically--kind of a big deal!”

[damn she putting him on the spot, yo get your gf to take one for the team and fucking deck you in the stomach]

[what in the fuck would that accomplish?]

[i dunno but it’d be funny]

Nana walked over to Izuku and gestured for him to flex his arm, showing off his well-toned arm. “Oh man, that’s beautiful. 

She turned back to the stunned class, smirking. “Ya listenin’? Okay. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha’, he’s got the tightest ass you’ll ever see in your life.”

“NANA!” Izuku screeched in embarrassment, covering his face as he turned redder than Eiko’s hair. Ochako immediately hugged him close to her, comforting her blushy boyfriend while staking her claim at the same time. She had to hand it to Nana, that was an effective means of flustering Izuku. She’d have to step up her game.

“And on that bombshell, away I go.” Nana stated as she slowly started fading away, for some reason deciding to make ghost noises while she did.

By the time Nana had faded into the ether, Iida blinked twice and straightened his glasses, completely confused. 

“Excuse my language, but what the fuck just happened?”

[bluestick swore]

[holy shit]

[that’s impossible]

[welp that’s another one for apocalypse bingo]

[you get bingo yet?]

[no]

[damn]

[that’s rough buddy]

[bingo :OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[you cheated]

[how the fuck do you cheat bingo?]

Chapter Text

It was a beautiful morning in Musutafu. The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, the emo bird was quoting Poe at six in the goddamn morning again--

Izuku was roused from his sleep by the feeling of someone running their fingers through his fluffy hair. He couldn’t exactly fault them. He remembered several times where he had done the same. He groaned and opened his eyes, seeing Nana smiling down at him.

“Morning, sleepyhead.”

“Morning... Lemme sleep another five minutes…” He grumbled, rolling over.

“You gotta get up. Breakfast is almost ready and your class worked really hard to cook it.”

“How do you know that?” Izuku questioned, still half asleep. “Shouldn’t you be... confined to the stream when I’m… asleep?”

[he does have a point]

[yeah, how did she manifest if he was asleep?]

[quirk bs?]

[wouldn’t we have seen her pov tho?]

[again, quirk bs]

[i guess]

“Don’t worry about it. What you should be worried about is how sad Ochako will be when you don’t eat the food she made just for you.”

“She made me breakfast?!”

[girlfriend made breakfast :OchaPog:]

[brekkie!]

[bwehkfest!]

[eat in da mornin]

[nom nom nom]

Dr. Coomer: [remember gordon, breakfast is the most important meal of the day]

[who the fuck is gordon?]

[who the fuck is dr coomer?]

[why do they have the funny coom name?]

[coomed so hard i got a doctorate]

“Yeah. Now get dressed and hurry. Last I checked they were almost done.”

Izuku nearly tipped over his bed as he rushed to get dressed. He threw on his clothes and hastily tied his tie in his signature incorrect way and bolted to the common area, where most of his classmates were talking and eating. Ochako turned to see him come in and beamed, waving to him. “Deku! Over here!”

“Good morning, Ochako,” he responded in his normal sunshine child manner. “Did you sleep well?”

“I slept great! Here, take a seat,” she requested, patting the couch cushion next to her. Izuku did so, and she revealed the bacon and eggs she had made for him, beaming happily. “I made you breakfast.”

“Thank you.” Izuku graciously replied. He motioned to take the plate from her, but Ochako pulled the plate away from him, smirking devilishly. “Ochako?”

“You’re late. We ran out of silverware, so I’m going to have to feed you.”

“What? I can feed myself--”

“Let me spoil you, Izuku,” Ochako said plainly. Izuku shut up and opened his mouth, allowing her to feed him. Had he seen the reactions of his classmates, he would’ve been horribly embarrassed, but he was too focused on eating to pay attention to Minerva’s jealous huffling.

[god i wish that were me]

[getting fed or feeding?]

[yes]

[food :PogChamp:]

[nom nom nom]

[nom nom nom]

[pizza time]

First: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpvT-Fciu-4 ]

[what the fuck]

[christ zoomer memes are terrifying]

First: [I would take offense to that but you’re right.]

Izuku finished his breakfaster, a bit of bacon still on his button lip. Ochako noticed. “You have a bit of bacon stuck on your lip.”

He wiped and missed it entirely. “Did I get it?”

“No. Here, let me help,” Ochako offered. She leaned in and wiped the bacon away, and quickly closed the distance between the two of them by kissing him. Izuku’s eyes went wide, but he surrendered and closed his eyes, kissing her back.

[Seventh has joined the chat.]

Seventh: [Hey, I’m back. Izuku might want [REDACTED] for his birthday. You all could see that, right?]

[MO-- I mean, welcome back]

GBSBot: [you’re on thin fucking ice there, bud. >:| ]

[My boy, he growin up so fast]

[where has the time gone]
Seventh: [Whoa! Damn, she really loves kissing him, doesn’t she?]

Sixth: [It certainly does appear that way.]

[is the only move she can use Sweet Kiss?]

[i think if we pissed her off she’d use seismic toss on us]

[probably]

“While I am glad to see that you and Uraraka have a very passionate relationship, Midoriya, I believe it is time to head to class,” Iida commented as the rest of the class exited the room.

Izuku and Ochako broke and followed them, with her leading him by the hand towards the classroom. Izuku could feel his cheeks burning with intense embarrassment. Ochako giggled and pulled him along, eager to get to class. 

They all arrived in homeroom 1-A without incident, each taking their seat and waiting patiently for Aizawa to show up. Izuku noticed that Bakugo was silently brooding in front of him, which was surprising. Considering that the blonde’s usual method of existence was loud and angry, Izuku found himself the tiniest bit concerned for him.

[boooooooo splodey boy is sad]

[you think he’d listen to my essay on why he’s a bitch? it’s quite long]

[with enough duct tape anything is possible] 

[i’ll bring the bamboo sticks]

[guys, no]

[he’s already been tortured enough by his demons]

[ya sure? cause I can give him a few more if he really needs em]

[i got two demons on me, my left hand and my right, they’re buy one get one free]

[wouldn’t you bleed out if i took them?]

[ that’s the goal ]

[ pog? ]

[ no pog ]

“I AM HERE!”

[all-might?!]

[mah hart, mah sole]

[all-might :PogMight:]

[ can you not ]

[maybe]

“COMING IN THE DOORWAY LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!”

[YO BIG MAN ON CAMPUS]

[DERE HE IS]

[the fuck are you on about?]

The class stared at All-Might in shock for a few seconds, not believing he was actually there. When All-Might didn’t magically poof into a puff of smoke or shimmer out of existence, they lost it. From an outsider’s perspective, it was like Pog discovering fire for the first time.

“Oh my god!”

“It’s actually him!”

“Oh my god!”

“Poggers!”

[based pog]

[based on what]

[based on that one lady’s MASSIVE FUCKIN MUSCLES]

[...acceptable]

GBSBot: [ ≖_≖ ]

[i’ll take it]

The room fell silent as all of the students turned to see Denki with a huge blush and an awkward smile. He slowly gave two thumbs up, and the rest of his classmates shook their heads in disappointment. Sero scoffed and pinched his nose. “Unironically saying ‘Poggers’ in real life? That’s kinda cringe.”

“Outdated Twitch terms aside, hello class! I, All-Might, will be your teacher for the hero program! Now, I need you all to go get changed into your hero costumes quickly and meet me at Training Ground Gamma. Time is of the essence!”

Without any further explanation, All-Might exited the room as quickly as he had entered it, leaving the students to scramble for the door. Izuku was nearly trampled by his fellow students, only saved by Ochako negating his weight and tugging him along like some sort of boyfriend-shaped balloon, much to his embarrassment and the chat’s amusement.

[god, mamadoriya was so thoughtful]

[of course she is, she’s a mother]

[it’s in the job description]

[hey, izuku, your mom is great]

“Uh, thanks?”

[she’s also extra THI-- ] user timed out 400 seconds

GBSBot: [anyone lewds Mamadoriya and I’m sending their porn folders to everyone they know]

GBSBot: [are we clear?]

[crystal]

[no horny]

[this is a christian stream, keep it in your pants]

“Um, I practice Shinto and Buddhism.”

[same difference]

[we all believe in the big homie in the sky]

[i believe in those fuckin muscles gotdamn]

[now get out there, the rest of the class is waiting for you man!]

“Alright.”

Izuku stepped out of the tunnel to Training Ground Gamma, letting the sun illuminate his costume. It wasn’t much, just a simple green jumpsuit with black stripes running down it, a utility belt, white gloves, and his trademark red shoes. On his head, he wore a hood and visor with two extensions that resembled All-Might’s hair, and a mouth guard to mimic the number one’s smile.

All-Might saw this and immediately flinched, hoping no one would notice.

Seventh: [is it just me or does that costume make him look like a rabbit?]

First: [it’s not just you]

BattleBunny: [holy shit he does look like a rabbit]

SweetDreams: [what an adorable little bunny]

SweetDreams: [i wonder if he’d be a good cuddler…]

SweetDreams: [among other things]

GBSBot: [don’t make me come over there]

GBSBot: [it won’t end well]

“Greetings, class! I must say, your costumes all look marvelous. Although I find myself to be a bit confused by some of the choices. Anyway, I’m sure you all are wondering why I’ve called you out here. This will be a practical exercise in heroics, starting with entering an urban setting.”

He pulled out a little notebook, smiling nervously.

“I apologize if I make mistakes along the way. This is my first time teaching the next generation of heroes, and I must say I find myself to be quite nervous. Nevertheless, I think it will be a learning experience for all of us. Anywho, the scenario is as follows: Villains have acquired a nuclear weapon and are hiding it in a building. It is the task of the Heroes to go in and retrieve the weapon in a twenty minute time limit. Apprehending the Villains is optional.”

Iida raised his hand.

“Young Iida, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, please hold your question. You all will be divided into teams of two. Two teams will face off against each other in a Heroes v Villains format. The Villains will have ten minutes to set up defenses before the exercise starts, and teams will be decided randomly. Any questions?”

No one raised their hands. Iida’s question had already been answered, so that helped move things along. 

“If there are no questions, I’ll go ahead and select the teams now.”

All-Might gestured to a slot machine that had randomly appeared from thin air and pulled the lever. The machine spun and stopped, and both Izuku and All-Might gulped. The machine displayed the hero team as Izuku and Bakugo, which worried both of them. All-Might looked over to Izuku, silently offering him an out. His student looked over to Bakugo, who was still brooding, and shook his head. All-Might nodded and spun the machine again to get the villain team.

[izuku what the fuck are you doing]

[your partner is bakugo. Bakugo, as in the kid who told you to jump off a fucking roof ]

“I know, chat.”

[THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WILLINGLY PARTNERING WITH HIM?!]

“I can’t run from him all the time, can I? There’s going to be a time where we have to learn to work together, and I would rather it be now.”

SweetDreams: [you’re surprisingly mature for a person of your age. i like that in partners~]

ThotMountain: [Dreams, I think the bot is five seconds from banning you for horny]

GBSBot: [the thot is right, cool your horny]

“The first match will be Izuku Midoriya and… Katsuki Bakugo as the Heroes vs Tooru Hagakure and Minerva Mineta as the Villains. Villains, you have ten minutes to set up, starting from when you enter the building. Heroes, please wait outside until I give you the signal to enter. Everyone else, please follow me.”

The class split into their respective groups. Minerva and Tooru entered the building, starting their ten minute set up time. Izuku and Bakugo sat outside and waited for the exercise to begin. Bakugo said nothing and crossed his arms, facing away from Izuku as he brooded silently.

[look at this edgy motherfucker]

[hey, at least he’s not screaming like a crazed lunatic anymore]

[i guess that’s true]

[what caused him to not scream]

[he probably got threatened]

[piss baby stare at wall]

[him? Threatened? Bakugo was untouchable during middle school and high school! what changed?]

MightyMouse: [someone cared. worry not midoriya, bakugo will not harm you. I cannot guarantee that he will work with you willingly, however.]

“That’s okay. I’ll think of something.”

MightyMouse: [best of luck. you’ll need it.]

Izuku nodded and turned to Bakugo, who currently had his back to him, clearly not wanting to be talked to. He knew that it was very risky to talk to his former friend right now, but he needed to formulate a strategy. He took a deep breath and psyched himself up, ready for whatever happened.

“Hey, Kacchan?”

“What do you want, De-- Midoriya?”

[wait, did he just]

[oh my god]

[i can’t believe it]

[did someone give him therapy?]

[i think so]

[he’s still a piss baby]

[no question about that]

“I’m trying to think up a strategy for the trial, and I’d like your help.”

“Why?”

“You’re my partner, Kacchan. I’d like to hear your opinion on this plan.”

Bakugo scoffed. “How do you know I won’t just blow off your shitty plan and leave you on your own?”

“I don’t, but I know you enough to know that normally you would’ve told me to shut up by now. Probably would’ve thrown in an explosion as well.”

[wait, he’s right]

[huh]

[bakugo changed?:think:]

[:think:]

[:think:]

[:think:]

“Fuck off.” Bakugo grumbled.

“You still haven’t heard my shitty plan.” Izuku retorted.

“If I listen to your shitty plan will you fuck off?”

“Sure.”

“Alright, what’s your shitty plan?”

“How good is your hearing?”

“Surprisingly good, given how many loud bangs I make daily.”

“Good, because we’re going to need to listen for Hagakure’s footsteps…”

[if this plan works, i’m donating 500 bits]

[yo if this plan works i’m shouting that kid dinner]

“You are? Well, um, there’s this hibachi place downtown that I want to take Ochako to on a date--”

“Who the fuck are you talking to De-- Midoriya?”

“Don’t worry about it. Are you ready?”

“For this fucking crazy ass plan? Hell yeah.” Katsuki grinned. “Listen, if we win this, remind me to give you a chance to punch me in my stupid face.”

“I think you’ll know anyway.”

“Ha! Fair enough!”

[10 bucks says he’ll get hella pissed if you call him bruhkugou]

[brah?]
[bruh]

[your brain alright?]

[sometimes it cries]

“Begin!”

Izuku and Katsuki made their way around the rear of the building, passing right by the front door. They stopped about midway through the side and stopped, and both glanced at each other.

“Midoriya, we only have one shot at this.”

“I know. And could you just call me Deku? It’s weird to hear you call me Midoriya.”

“Suit yourself, Deku. I better not get into any fucking trouble because of that.”

Izuku nodded and knelt down, cupping his hands. He nodded, and Katsuki jumped into his cupped hands, using them as a springboard as Izuku pushed up with One-For-All. Katsuki went flying up the side of the building, counting the floors as he went up. His partner watched from the ground, wincing from the pain of his broken arms.

Katsuki got to the eighth floor a lot sooner than he expected and immediately let two explosions ripple through his arms, sending him through the fortified window. Minerva shrieked as glass poured into the bomb room and scattered everywhere, accompanied by a very angry human grenade. He pulled himself to his feet and groaned, placing his hand on a nearby object to steady himself.

To his right, Tooru fumed in protest. “Oh, come on!”

Katsuki looked at the object he was steadying himself on and laughed, putting his finger to his ear. “Well, I’ll be damned. Received. Deku, your crazy ass plan actually fucking worked.”

“It did?!”

“Yeah. How’d you know the bomb would be on the eighth floor?”

“I didn’t! I just guessed!”

“You guessed?” Katsuki asked in denial.

“Yes?”

“You’re scary. You get to punch me now.”

[it actually fucking worked] user donated x500 bits

[welp, lemme mark that lunch down in my budget]

Seventh: [we have to see what it looked like from their perspective]

BattleBunny: [damn straight! I can’t believe that actually worked!]

ThotMountain: [impressive]

SweetDreams: [are you alright, Izuku?]

“I’m going to need to see the nurse…”

[oww]

[i can feel the broken bones from here]

“Heroes Win!”

[yo hero win :PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

Chapter Text

“I hope you’re not breaking your bones on purpose just to see me, Midoriya,” Himiko commented as she attended to Izuku’s spaghetti arms. He chuckled nervously and winced in pain as she touched a tender spot. “You’re lucky you didn’t accidentally hit a major artery with one of your many, many bone shards.”

[ouch bone-hurting quirk]

[Izuku’s stuck on Mr. Bone’s Wild Ride]

“When can I get off the ride chat?”

[ the ride never ends ]
[wait, don’t your bones become stronger when they break?]

[yeah, why?]

[ wait no ]

[ break all your bones to become invincible, midoriya ]

[ DON’T ]

[P O W E R]

Izuku whimpered as Himiko finished wrapping his broken arms, shaking her head in disapproval. “And I wouldn’t listen to any of those dummies on the stream telling you to break more bones. Your bones may get stronger, but your ligaments will become weaker.”

“Wha-- how did--” Izuku sputtered, not sure how she knew about that fun fact.

“You’d be surprised how many people I treated joked about that,” she replied. “If trolls on the internet are anything like they’ve been for centuries, they’re telling you to get some laughs.”

[damnit]

[foiled again!]

[we’ll be back toga, stronger than ever!]

[from our despicable ashes the trolls will rise again]

[you say that like we can die in the first place]

[fair enough]

Smoke: [my rat genetics have made me the perfect retard that no one on the internet can be rid of]

“Alright, you’re all set. Give it a few days and you should be right as rain.” Himiko asserted, giving Izuku a pat on the back.

“A few days? Doesn’t it usually take a few weeks for bones to heal?”

“Not in this day and age.”

[wack ass future bones]

[are you typing from the past?]

[mayhaps i am]

“Fair enough. Thank you, Toga.”

“Anytime, Midoriya.”

[how much money we putting on her wanting some of the green boy]

[why take a bet that’s already won?]

[how can you tell?]

[look into those eyes, those are the eyes of a beast that hungers]

[nah they look yellow to me]

Mr. Irwin: [and here we see the wild toga in her natural habitat. this species has been known for its bisexuality, and its desire to have a minimum of two mates, a male, and a female. why this occurs, scientists are still unsure]

[when did this turn into a documentary?]

[Steve Irwin came back from the dead to narrate some horny chick, fuckin slick dude]

“Shouldn’t I be asking that question?” Izuku asked as he stood up with Toga’s assistance. She opened the door to the nurse’s office for him and sent him on his way to the dorms. “I really hope I didn’t miss anything important. Class is probably over by now…”

“Oh, Deku!”

Izuku turned around to see Ochako come down the hallway with a brilliant smile on her face. She rushed him in a motion that would’ve given him a hug but ultimately decided against it, seeing the casts on his arms. Her smile immediately shifted to a worried expression. 

“Oh my god, are you okay?!” Ochako fretted, looking over him. “Your quirk really just wreaks havoc on your arms, doesn’t it?”

Bathory: [much more than his arms if i’m honest]

[again, bone hurting quirk]

[owie]

[oouch ouch izuku’s bones]

[:doot:]

[ he needs some milk ]

[from uraraka’s mommy mil-] user timed out 400 seconds

GBSBot: [y’all serious rn?]

[no robo overlord]

[no horny here]

[we’re all chaste here on this pure stream]

[I believe in the great sky homie]

“Y-Yeah,” Izuku responded. “I really need to figure out how to not do that…”

“Hey, you’re learning,” Ochako reassured him. “In the meantime, you wanna get some lunch? You’re going to need someone to feed you since your arms are broken. I hope this isn’t going to be a recurring problem.”

“Thank you. That reminds me, um, I may not always be able to get to the nurses’ office to get my arms reset, so I need someone who knows first aid to be there just in case--”

“I can do that. I’ve been meaning to do that anyway, in case I need to patch myself up. I wonder why the school doesn’t teach first aid by default?”

Bathory: [because then i wouldn’t have a cutie pie like you visiting me~]

[ha, your name says bath]

GBSBot: [ >:( ]

GBSBot: [the next word outta your mouth better not be bathwater, you simp]

[izuku why is your mod bot so anti-horny]

GBSBot: [:Gun: fuck around and find out]

[oh god oh fuck where’d the robot find a gun]

GBSBot: [don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to]

Izuku gulped as the mod bot of his stream angrily threatened his viewers, not knowing what to say to reassure them as Ochako lead him to the lunchroom. Today had been quite eventful, and as he sat down and opened his mouth for his girlfriend to feed him, he supposed he had a pretty nice day.

[mmm yummy lunch]

[nom nom nom]

First: [Sandvich and me going to kick your ass!~]

Sixth: [First, what…? You know what, I don’t want to know.]

[just enjoy the gf feeding you asmr]

[although it won’t fill the void of loneliness in my heart]

[i know that feel bro]

[same]

[same]

[same]

[same]

[i just what a big tiddy mommy gf :feelsbadman:]

[same]

[same]

[wait what-]

[based as fuck]

When Izuku woke up, he yawned, stretched his arms, and rose from the bed like he usually did every day. He felt his shoulders pop, which was nice, because they had been feeling stiff all week. 

[wait, weren’t his arms broken yesterday?]

[yeah, why?]

[how are they completely healed now?]

[wait what]

[ yo what the fuck ]

[clickity clack your fuckin bones are wack]

[ this isn’t a video game how the fuck ]

First: [Whaddya mean? I downloaded One’s Justice yesterday!]

Second: [Wasn’t yesterday 200 years ago, First?]

First: [Shut.]

[uhhhh]

First: [SHUT.]

“What are you guys arguing about? It’s too early for this…”

[the child awakens]

[praise be]

[we’re wondering why your arms are unbroke]

[bro did you graduate kindergarten?]

[i dunno man i still don’t know how many sides a triangle has]

Izuku blinked the sleep from his eyes, rubbing them with his balled fists. He still didn’t understand what the chat was saying, which was understandable, given the number of memes and bullshit that filled it daily. It also didn’t help that he was still waking up. He yawned again and stretched once more, trying to figure out why he felt better.

Then he looked at his arms and noted that they were healed.

Two floors up, Katsuki was snoozing peacefully. It was odd seeing him in such a vulnerable peaceful position, especially when his default expression made him look like he wanted to murder someone. But there he was, under a comforter and a secret All-Might blanket his mother got him for his fourth birthday with not a care in the world.

“MY ARMS AREN’T BROKEN?!”

Katsuki’s eyes shot wide open and he bolted upright, his scowl deepening as he looked over and realized that he had woken up five minutes before his alarm was set to go off. He blinked tiredly and made a mental note to grumble in a non-threatening way at Izuku before preemptively shutting off his alarm and heading to the showers. Might as well get a headstart on the day if he was up.

Back in Izuku’s room, he was still freaking out over the fact that his arms seemed to have magically fixed themselves. He ran his hands over them just to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. Once he was sure he was awake, he looked over to his nightstand and saw a note on his phone.

“‘I took the liberty of healing you for the day’s field trip, Midoriya. Now be a good boy and figure out a way to use your quirk safely. I’m worried that you’ll end up destroying the nerves in your arms at this rate. - Recovery Girl.’ Huh. That’s nice of her. I should get her something.”

Seventh: [If I recall correctly, Chiyo likes hot springs. A weekend at the Shuzenji Onsen would do her some good.]

“Oooh, good idea.”

Sixth: [While I usually appreciate repaying others for their kindness, you need to get a move on, Ninth.]

[time’s a wasting]

[ah yes shower asmr]

[you must be a newbie here]

[what?]

[it doesn’t feed the audio?]

“Unless I want it to, no.”

[oh]

With that, Izuku rose from his bed and hurried to the showers, noting that many of his male classmates were already there. He chalked it up to them getting a headstart on the day and thankfully missed the disgruntled looks they gave him as he waited patiently for a free stall.

Then Iida went all Dadbot on him, lecturing about respecting other’s sleeping habits and urging Izuku not to yell at the top of his lungs early in the morning again.

Following that embarrassing lecture and a nice hearty breakfast, Izuku reported for class with the rest of his classmates. Aizawa was there, looking as sleep-deprived as ever. He looked over his class with his normal dead inside gaze, and began speaking in his normal gravely monotone.

“Today you’ll be choosing your class representatives. To make the process easier for everyone, you’ll be voting. There are a few rules. You can only vote once and it has to be someone in this class. Once you’re done Iida will collect your votes and count them because I said so.”

Iida raised his hand. “Sensei, shouldn’t you be the one to count--”

“Your problem now,” Aizawa interrupted, zipping himself up in his sleeping bag. “Do your voting quietly and don’t bother me until you’re done.”

He fell over and went to sleep, leaving the entire class slackjawed.

[jesus fucking christ he really doesn’t give a shit does he?]

[would you if you looked like him?]

[he looks like he died inside a long time ago]

[he looks more dead than my uncle, who’s been dead for 15 years]

[oh my god i’m so sorry]

[eh it’s fine. he was a bastard who deserved it]

[oh]

[i pissed on his grave. good times]

Iida recovered and pushed up his glasses, clearly shook by the events that had transpired. “A-Anywho, as per Aizawa’s instructions, I will now pass out paper. I assume that whoever wins the most votes will be the class representative and the second highest will be vice representative.”

He passed the paper, and once Izuku received his, he stared at it like he was contemplating the secrets of the universe. He had no clue who he should vote for, as Ochako had escorted him to the nurses’ office as soon as his battle trial was over, and he had no idea what his classmates were like.

Well, he knew what some of them were like. He knew that Ochako, Mina, Denki, and maybe a few of the boys would vote for him due to his status as a Twitch celebrity and the plan he had made on the fly in the battle trial.

DeepDope: [vote for yaoyorozu]

[yes]

[absolutely]

[vote for miss mommy mil-] user timed out 400 seconds

GBSBot: [y’all really testing my fucking patience]

GBSBot: [boss, i’m gonna need a week’s vacation starting saturday]

“Uh, okay…?”

GBSBot: [sweet]

GBSBot: [y’all better behave yourselves while i’m gone]

GBSBot: [or else >:)]

[of course robo overlord]

[fuck does a robot do on vacation anyway]

GBSBot: [robo-blackjack, I bet using your personal information if you typed something about “mommy milkies”]

[...fuck]

While the chat once again evoked the wrath of Izuku’s quirk, he was too busy trying to figure out who he should vote for. He didn’t know anyone who could lead the class, and his lack of information on any of the candidates left him woefully underprepared for this election.

“Time’s up!” Iida exclaimed, making Izuku flinch. “I will now collect your ballots.”

[uh]

[you still haven’t written your vote down]

“I know.”

[you better hurry he’s coming]

[oh lawd he coming]

[he makin da big steppies]

[now is not the time for that!]

[ok prof oak]

“Not helping guys!”

[sorry]

Iida, as per his reputation, collected the votes rather quickly. Before Izuku could blink, he was standing at the front of the row and making his way down it a bit too fast for our hero’s liking.

[oh god oh fuck he’s powerwalking]

[dear god]

[there’s more]

[ no ]

Panicking, Izuku nearly shattered the pencil in his hand as he quickly scribbled down Momo Yaoyorozu down on his slip, praying that he hadn’t made the wrong choice. Iida appeared before and took the vote before taking Bakugo’s and hurried back to the front of the room, where he totaled up the votes.

[you think izuku’s gonna win?]

[probably]

[never underestimate the power of the simps]

[is it possible to learn this power?]

[not from a person in a healthy relationship]

[you see, simping is a pathway to many abilities, some that most would call unnatural]

Iida cleared his throat. “I have counted all of the votes. I will now announce your newly elected class representatives. With a grand total of six votes, your class representative will be…”

[wait he knows how to pause for effect?]

[i thought he’d implode from suspense]

[shhh we’re gonna miss it]

“Momo Yaoyorozu! Unsurprising, seeing as her expert planning and synergy with Jirou won them the battle trial against Todoroki and Shoji yesterday. I never would’ve thought to create heated blankets. And shattering the ice by ampyfling Jirou’s quirk? Truly amazing.”

[aw rip]

[she probably deserves it tho]

[maybe]

[i wanna see footage of that trial now]

[why didn’t we get to see that]

[probably because the author was lazy]

[what?]

[don’t worry about it]

The class erupted into applause and congratulations to Momo as she blushed and bowed. Iida cleared his throat once more, redirecting the class’s attention to him. “And for our vice class representative, with a total of 5 votes, will be…”

[he’s doing it again]

[shut up]

“Izuku Midoriya! Also a great plan, although I do not exactly approve of the methods, it was efficient and effective. Congratulations!” Iida praised, leading the next round of applause. Izuku blushed as he and Momo made their ways to the front of the class, still anxious.

[izuku’s vice rep pog!]

[i love democracy]

[democracy pog]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

[:PogChamp:]

Chapter Text

[let’s go]

[ oh come on ]

[hey, at least it wasn’t a rickroll]

First: [You all are getting better at avoiding those.]
First: [But I’m Never Gonna Give You Up]
[ goddamnit ]

First: [Bow before my ultimate memeage, mortals.]

[you are an entity of piss and i wish nothing but misfortune upon you]

First: [already happened]

[damn]

[where is green bean going anyway?]

“To lunch,” Izuku replied. He walked down the hallway with Ochako holding his arm and rubbing against him like a cat. Now that he thought about it, she did have a lot of catlike qualities. She loved physical contact, always landed on her feet, had toe beans, as the chat called her finger pads, and-- wait. Izuku paused and looked at his girlfriend, raising an eyebrow. “Ochako, are you purring?”

“Maybe,” she replied without missing a beat, still rubbing against him.

“Okay then.”

[yo she really is a cat]

[ya think?]

[wait ain’t that toga chick also catlike?]

[huh]

[yeah you’re right]

[well at least i’m not left]

[...what?]

[... yo dude his hair is catnip]

[ oh fuck ]

Izuku stepped into the lunch line, looking at the rest of his classmates. He noticed that Katsuki was in a bad mood, which wasn’t that surprising. But his bad moods usually involved screaming at someone, and in this case, Katsuki was staring at his phone, looking ready to murder it.

“Is something wrong, Kacchan?”

[still not used to this whole “bakubro” thing]

[seems kinda sketch to me]

[well it’s either they be friends or bakugo continues being a resentful little shit]

[that’s a good point]

Katsuki looked over his shoulder and sighed, putting away his phone. “I forgot my mom was bringing me lunch today.”

Izuku raised an eyebrow. “Auntie Mitsuki? But why is that a bad thing?”

“It’s not bad, it’s just fucking embarrassing,” Katsuki huffed, stepping out of the lunch line. Izuku watched him go grumbling away, catching a few words before he walked out of earshot. “I’m a grown-ass man. I can get my own damn lunches. Fucking hag and her stupid delicious fucking bento…”

[...he has a soul]

[i can’t believe it]

[oh god oh fuck boys not more moms i can’t handle it]

[my man’s coomed so much he had a revelation]

[i don’t even know how to respond to that]

[yeah me either]

“Deku,” Ochako called, bringing Izuku back to reality. “You’re next in line.”

Izuku blushed and stepped forward, taking his lunch from Lunch Rush, one of the university’s kitchen staff, and turned back to the cafeteria, where he noticed Katsuki grumbling at one of the many tables. He grumbled by his lonesome until Izuku decided that they both had a relationship to repair, and while he was pretty confident that this wasn’t how people fixed abusive relationships in the real world, something had to be done right?

Once more into the breach.

He walked towards the table with Ochako in tow, and sat down next to him with Ochakoe taking an opposite seat. Katsuki huffed and turned his gaze away, looking out the window.

[piss baby is ignoring you]

[probably a good thing]

[i can still put an offer on the dark web]

[just saying]

[ no ]

GBSBot: [No one is getting sold on the dark web!]
GBSBot: [I’d rather not have my existence shut down by your half-assed attempts at dark humor.]

[first they take my poggers now they take my green stream? Unacceptable]

[oh right]

[that was a thing that happened three hundred years ago]

[is it still illegal?]

[i don’t think so…?]

[one second]

[“We want the sentiment and use of Pog to live on – its meaning is much bigger than the person depicted or image itself– and it has a big place in Twitch culture. “However, we can’t in good conscience continue to enable use of the image.” - Twitch 2021]

[ah]

[yeah that’s understandable]

Erectin'Texan: [so we're fine]

Erectin'Texan: [as long as nobody spams pog]

ScreamingEagle: [question]

Erectin'Texan: [what's your question, eagle?]

ScreamingEagle: [i spammed pog]

Erectin'Texan: [what?]

ScreamingEagle: [you told me too]

Erectin'Texan: [how much?]

ScreamingEagle: [i have done nothing but spam pog for three days]

GBSBot: [ You did what?! ]

Izuku ignored the shenanigans of his chat, wisely deciding to interact with the real people at the table with him instead. Ochako had stopped her cat imitation, and while Izuku was grateful, he found himself missing it as well. She smiled at him, offering one of her trademark sunshine smiles, nearly blinding him and the chat.

[ my eyes ]

[ too bright ]

[ too pure ]

[jesus]

[she might be]

[i mean look at that light]

[she’s fucking glowing for christ’s sake]

[jesus christ another flashbang]

“Are you ok, Kacchan?” Izuku asked, deciding to ignore the crying mobs of the internet. “You seem… muted, for lack of a better word.”

“What’s it to you?” Katsuki snapped, regret washing over his face a second later. “Sorry, it’s just… I’m not used to not yelling and treating people, well, like people.”

He huffed and looked out the window again. “Not that it excuses it at fucking all.”

[damn right]

[wait, is he-- is he fucking learning from his mistakes?]

[is he actually trying to be a good person?]

[ wat ]

[aight guys seriously, let’s give him a chance]

[fine]

[but only if his mom is ho--] user timed out 400 seconds

GBSBot: [ I am right here. ]

[ok then time to take an oath of chastity]

[religion here i come]

[great sky homie i’m comin to ya once again, aid me in my hour of monke brain]

“I suppose it doesn’t,” Izuku admitted. “But you shouldn’t just go into this funk. It’s not like you.”

“I don’t know what to do besides be in this fucking funk,” Katsuki fumed. “It’s not like I can suddenly decide to stop being a massive prick!”

“I mean you’re not hitting Deku,” Ochako added with her mouth full. “That’s a start, right?”

She began eating again without missing a beat, almost inhaling food from her plate.

[just because you date the boy doesn’t mean you can’t have fuckin manners ]

[wait, hang on]

[oh my god]

[guys]

[ guys she’s kirby ]

[ oh my god ]

[i can’t unsee that now]

[cute, pink, adorable, powerful enough to kill gods like it was nothing, squishable cheeks]

[which cheeks tho]

GBSBot: [ >:( ]

[okay, okay! the ones on her face!]

“The hag is seriously taking her sweet time. How long does it take to walk from the front to here? A fucking grandmother turtle is faster than that fucking bitch.”

Izuku paled. “Kacchan, I really don’t think you should talk about your mother that way.”

Katsuki raised his eyebrow, genuinely confused. “Why? She calls me a brat all the time. As far as I know, it’s how we communicate affection.”

“That’s-- okay I really don’t know how to explain how weird that is to me…” Izuku tried, turning his head in Ochako’s direction as she tapped his shoulder and fed him a ball of rice. And then the vegetables that came with it, and the apple slices, until at long last, Izuku’s plate was empty.

“Ochako, as much as I love you feeding me, I’m capable of doing it myself.”

She stopped, considered his words, and then a smug smile spread across her face. One that made Izuku shiver with a strange excitement, but also strangely made him fear for his pelvis. Thankfully, her intentions were pure, for now. 

“Ok. I suppose I’ve spoiled you for long enough,” Ochako relented, putting down her chopsticks. “Now it’s time for you to spoil me.”

[how the turns have tabled]

[feed the kirbo gf, izuku]

Izuku blinked twice, finding the situation a bit strange for whatever reason. He shrugged it off and picked a piece of food off Ochako’s plate, lifting it up and towards her. She opened her mouth, bit the food off the chopsticks, and some random in the chat lost it.

[:kek:]

[bro what’s so funny]

[damnit i’ve been too conditioned by the internet]

[what is it]

[tell us]

[hang on]

[ tell us or you will burn with the rest of the heretics [

[aight aight jeez]

[it’s easier to explain with this video]

[it’s not a rickroll, i swear]

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow564GTkr3U ]

[wait he’s right it’s not a rickroll]

[okay that’s cute and adorable]

Smoke:[my turn]

Smoke:[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okGkw6kcTXM ]

[pfft]

[why is that funny]

[i don’t understand]

Unfortunately, Izuku didn’t get a chance to view what would cause such joy and merriment in his chat, as he heard the lunchroom let out a collective gasp accompanied by a few wolf whistles. Heads turned in the direction of the cafeteria entrance, revealing a blonde woman who despite having a child and raising him for almost twenty years, still didn’t look a day over thirty. She was thin but still curvy in just the right places, and Katsuki grumbled.

“Finally. There’s my hag of a mother.”

[ that’s his mom?! ]

[ bro i was expecting like a cave troll or some shit, not a fucking model! ]

[god do i hate this kid’s luck]

[ jesus fuck that’s the hottest milf i’ve ever seen! ]

GBSBot: [(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻]

GBSBot: [I give up. So instead of trying to warn y’all off of being horny on main,]

GBSBot: [Let’s play a little game, shall we?]

The bot pulled up a visual of a cube painted with three colors on different sides; red, blue, and green. 

GBSBot: [This right here is a chance cube. If I see anyone here being horny on main, and I know none of y’all have a fucking license for it shut the fuck up, I’m going to roll it.]

GBSBot: [Red: Banned. Blue: Banned 2: Git Gud. Green: >:)]

[the  c u b e]

[should i ask what green is?]

GBSBot: [Fuck around and find out, bitch.]

[oh god oh fuck it learnt how to taunt]

[yo can i borrow the bot for my FFXIV raids greenman i need a decent tank]

“Uh, I can give you TheTwinning.mp4 ?”

[i’ll take it]

[this offering is acceptable]

“Has anyone seen my brat?” Mitsuki Bakugo asked loudly, holding a bento box in her hands. “I was supposed to meet him ten minutes ago, but there’s a crowd of reporters outside.”

“If there’s a crowd of reporters then how’d you get through!?”

“I told ‘em all to fuck off, plain and simple.”

Denki gasped from the other side of the room. “Damn, Bakugo, your mom is hawt!”

“You’re goddamn right I am!”

Katsuki faceplanted into the table, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Deku?”

“Yeah?”

“Remind me to not kill Sparkplug during training.”

“Hey, brat!” Mitsuki called, walking over to the table her son was sitting. “I brought you lunch!”

“Hi, mom.”

“Don’t be an ungrateful little shit! I raised you better than that!”

Katsuki huffed and took the bento from her, opening it. It contained carefully crafted onigiri, along with spicy curry and a few hot dogs cut into cute squids. He stared at it, not speaking as he scooped some of the spicy curry into a spoon and ate it. He didn’t react at first, and then he began to tremble.

“Kacchan!” Izuku cried out in alarm. “Are you… crying?”

“Shut up,” Katsuki sobbed, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I’m not crying you’re crying!”

[ha, piss baby crying because his hot milf mom made him a tasty lunch]

GBSBot: [/chancecube]

[wait no]

CubeBot: [Blue!]

[please i have a family]

GBSBot: [Git Gud nerd. :BanHammer:]

[ noooooooooooooooooo ] user timed out 400 seconds

Mitsuki smiled but said nothing about her son’s crying, turning her attention to the rest of the table’s occupants. Her eyes met Izuku’s and she smiled widely, crushing the boy in a noogie that was a little too close to her breasts.

“Izuku! How you’ve been! Is this your girlfriend?” She asked, completely aware of how much she was flustering him. If Ochako was jealous, she didn’t show it. Instead, she pulled out her phone, nodding and opening Twitch. Izuku still didn’t know how she could watch Twitch on a flip phone, but he had stopped questioning it long ago.

Uravity: [bakugo’s mom is totally into you]

Uravity: [after we go all the way, we should invite her and/or toga]

“Wait, what?!”

“I asked how you were doing,” Mitsuki replied, raising an eyebrow. “Are you okay? Do you need your Auntie to take care of you~?”

“Hag, do not flirt with Deku in public!” Katsuki snarled.

“I’ll flirt with him if I fucking feel like it, brat!” Mitsuki snapped back. “God knows I haven’t had any action since I had you!”

[wait she’s single?]

GBSBot: [Yep. Boss, you mind if I tell them?]

“Uh, no?”

GBSBot: [Okay, cool. Bakugo’s father doesn’t exist. Rather, Mitsuki used a donor and had him. I wonder if that had anything to do with how he turned out?]

[bakugo is a spank bank baby?!]

[ do not call it a spank bank ]

[spank bank pog]

[isn’t that technically illegal?]

[yeah…]

[damn. well anyway, we got new emotes!]

[really?! show them!]

[:kirbchako:]

[it’s perfect ]

[is no one going to point out that izuku’s getting hugged by a milf who’s into him?]

GBSBot: [No.]

[okay]

[:kirbchako:]

[:kirbchako:]

[:kirbchako:]

[:kirbchako:]

[:kirbchako:]

[:kirbchako:]

Chapter Text

[So, you put the cereal in before the milk?]

“Y-yes… Is there a problem?”

[not at all, good man]
[muhfuggen puttin my milk, then cereal and then bowl]

[...you know what, you’ve probably got some quirk bullshit that lets you get away with that so imma let it slide for now]

“And that’s enough chat for this morning.”

Izuku closed his chat view and carried about his morning routine, which consisted of first making sure that he got out of bed. However, getting out of bed was easier said than done, especially when his girlfriend was doing her best imitation of a cat, purring included.

I’m scared to check if those ears are real, Izuku thought to himself, seeing the feline auditory sensors attached to the top of her head. They weren’t there yesterday, were they?

He shrugged and attempted to escape Ochako’s iron grasp, but her arms held fast around him. She snuggled against him and groaned, tightening her hold. “Nuuuu, you stay in the bed…”

“Ochako, we’re going to be late for breakfast and the field trip if we don’t get up soon.”

The only response she gave him was tightening her hug.

“Ochako please--”

“World hard and cold,” Ochako unga bunga’d. “You soft and warm.”

“While that may be true, I--”

“No get out of bed!”

Izuku sighed. “Alright, I didn’t want to do this, but you’ve left me with no choice.”

“Are you going to try and tickle me again?”

“Maybe.”

“You do realize that I have your arms pinned, right?”

Darn .

“Okay, didn’t think that far ahead,” Izuku admitted. “But we really do need to get going.”

Ochako puffed out her cheeks and furrowed her brow, pouting. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re too comfy.”

Izuku lazily struggled as the comfort slowly got to him as well. Ochako did have a point. Snuggling together with a woman taller than you was extremely satisfying. He grumbled internally and cuddled closer, nuzzling into her neck.

Then Izuku’s second alarm of the day went off. “Morning is here! Morning is here! Morning is--”

He nearly broke his phone with the force he used to silence it. Ochako stared at the Izuku-shaped space in her arms and glared at her boyfriend. “We’re not done cuddling!”

“We’re going to be late!” He yelled back, hastily throwing on his clothes. Ochako smirked at his tight ass and groaned as she lazily got up. 

“Finnnnnnnnnnnnnne. You’re only getting away with this because I got to see your nice ass,” she snarked, pulling up her shirt. Izuku turned around, and a second later Ochako’s pajama shirt hit him in the back of the head. 

A few minutes later, the two emerged from Izuku’s bedroom. They passed a few of their classmates, getting curious glances as they passed. It was to be expected, seeing as Ochako was clinging to his back like a giant koala. 

Out of curiosity, Izuku turned the chat back on to see the chaos he’d missed, with a slight struggle due to his newfound koala clinging for dear life. 

The regret was immediate

[BIG GF CUDDLES WOOOOOOOOOOOO]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[damn we out here pogging it up]

GBSBot:[I swear to god]

[SCATTER!]

Izuku sighed, knowing that his faithful bot mod probably wanted that vacation soon. 

“Please let this trip be at least slightly normal.”

[that holds mad magic school bus energy]

“Magic… School bus?”

[he doesn’t know the sheer power of Mrs Frizzle]

“Who is Mrs Frizzle?”

[uhhhhh]

[how do we tell him?]

[american cartoon character]

[she’s a science teacher]

“Oh cool! Where can I watch this cartoon?”

[it’s probably on the internet somewhere, but shouldn’t you focus on eating breakfast first?]

[brekkie time]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[HALT THE POG TRAIN!]

[ you bastard ]

[ you killed the pog train ]

[heresy]

[brother. get the flamer.]

[the heavy flamer, brother?]

[ the heavy flamer, brother. ]

Izuku paid no mind to the sudden mob in his chat. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out two bowls and a box of Miruk-O’s, pouring the cereal in the bowls before adding milk.

[he does put the cereal before the milk]

“Yeah?”

GBSBot: [I swear to God if y’all are arguing about cereal again]

[hey at least he’s not eating the cereal dry like a complete psychopath]

Zel: [i resent this]

[jeez sorry man]

[i feel like i just offended god]

[but seriously isn’t that a sign of psychopathy]

Zel: [how about we don’t]

[...]

[...i’m tempted to test the limits but i feel like i’m threatening my own existence]

[who is this guy?!]

Smoke: [y’all cowards probably don’t eat the bowl smh]

“Izuku….” Ochako moaned, opening her eyes. “Gimme breakfast.”

He handed her a bowl of cereal without turning from the counter, Ochako still latched to Izuku’s back like a koala. Together they ate their Miruk-O’s in comfortable silence, much to the chat’s enjoyment. Alas, before they could squee loud enough to cause even the ears of a deaf person to bleed, Mina and Momo entered the room.

The former was surprisingly already dressed. Both girls raised an eyebrow, looking over to the other students in the kitchen. Mina mouthed “What are they doing?” to Denki, who shrugged. Momo cleared her throat, getting everyone’s attention.

“As you all know, we are all going on a field trip,” she said. “We will be leaving in the next half hour. Make sure you all are wearing your hero outfits.”

She turned on her heel and walked out of the kitchen with an air of regality and authority that made everyone turn their heads and gazes linger, some longer than others.

[damn class prez got a presence]

[maybe she could give me some presents if you know what i mea--] user timed out 400 seconds

GBSBot: [I look away for one second and y’all are being horny again. Stop that!]

Smoke: [rules of nature robo homie. It be how it be]

GBSBot: [Are you challenging me?]

Smoke: [maybe]

GBSBot: [...you have balls. I like that.]

“Hey Deku, are you gonna finish your cereal or you gonna keep staring where Momo was standing?” Ochako asked, a smug cat smile on her face. 

“N-No!” Izuku shouted, his steadily growing blush betraying him. 

[he lies]

[i mean if I had a class prez like her i’d be following her walk too--] User timed out 400 seconds

GBSBot: [That’s it! I’m going on vacation.]

“What?!”

[the bot’s going on vacation?!]

[yeah horny as we want!]

GBSBot: [ >:( ]

[or not]

“Wait, then who’s going to keep the stream up and do all the internet business?” Izuku asked. His classmates looked at him with concern and he smiled awkwardly back, not soothing them at all.

GBSBot: [I’ve already taken care of that.]
GBSBot: [Ciao.]

Mod GBSBot has logged off.
New Mods have joined.

RatZeu: [squeak]

GLaDOS: [So this is what humans call ‘Twitch.’]

GLaDOS: [Disgusting.]

[i would take offence to that, but you’re right]

[wait, we traded one robot for a rat and another robot?]

RatZeu: [squeak]

GLaDOS: [Interesting.]

[what’s interesting?]

GLaDOS: [Oh, nothing. It’s just not every day that you realize a rat is the most intelligent person in the chat.]

[clan Eishen is best yes yes]

RatZeu: [squeak squeak]

GLaDOS: [I concur. Midoriya should get moving, or he’ll be late. We wouldn’t want to be late for cake, would we?]

[the cake is a lie]

GLaDOS: [Why would I lie? It is in my best interest to ensure my test su- I mean, valuable human succeeds in his endeavors. To that effect, lying would hinder his success rate. In any case, you are wasting time just standing there, human.]

“Wha--?” Izuku sputtered.

“C’mon, Deku,” Ochako said, grabbing Izuku’s hand and pulling him along. “Isn’t it your job as vice rep to help organize everyone?”

“Y-Yeah?”

GLaDOS: [You’re certainly doing poorly.]

RatZeu: [squeak!]

GLaDOS: [What? Politeness was not listed as a requirement for the job.]

Izuku ignored the snarky killer AI and allowed himself to be dragged along with Ochako as they headed for the changing rooms, the rest of the class following behind.

Ten minutes later, the class was on a bus to an undisclosed location. Izuku found himself seated in Ochako’s lap as she rested her heads on his, arms wrapped around his torso. 

[GIANT GF CUDDLES LESSS GOOO]

[giant gf :pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

GLaDOS: [What are you doing?]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

GLaDOS: [Stop that.]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

First: [:pog:]

Second: [:pog:]

Third: [:pog:]

GLaDOS: [Are you seriously joining in? What do you hope to achieve with this nonsense?]

Fourth: [:pog:]

Fifth: [:pog:]

Sixth: [:pog:]

Seventh: [:pog:]

GLaDOS: [Do you not realize that you are only enabling their behavior?]

Seventh: [Yep! What are you going to do about it?]

[oh shit]

[mod war]

GLaDOS: [Interesting. Humans engage in completely irrational behavior, often celebrating the most mundane of events.]

“Sensei?” Mina called, pulling Izuku’s attention away from the stream. Aizawa sat up from his sleeping position on one of the bus seats, raising an eyebrow. Mina then asked the question that everyone had been wondering since Momo had mentioned the field trip in the first place. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” Aizawa answered, lying down again.

[damn he really must hate his job]

[then why is he a teacher in the first place]

SweetDreams: [He lost a bet.]

[ah that explains a lot]

Ochako began to run her hands throw Izuku’s hair, making him purr appreciatively as his eyes began to close.

[is everyone at this school a cat?!]

[the frog girl sitting next to them certainly isn’t]

Froppy: [of course not, kero]

[did]

[did you just ribbit in text form]

[maybe]

Mina looked over out at the sea of silence and decided that she didn’t like it. She walked over to Denki and Kyoka nudged them, uttering a single phrase. “Operation Campfire.”

Denki’s eyes sparkled with mischief, and Kyoka chuckled and pulled a guitar from nowhere. Denki joined Mina in the middle of the bus as the pink girl cleared her throat, gaining everyone’s attention. Curious glances turned to her, and once she was sure she had everyone’s gaze, she began to sing.

“Let’s gather around the campfire and sing our campfire song, our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G!” Mina sang, getting smiles from her classmates (and a grimace from Aizawa as he turned over). “And if you think we can’t sing it faster then you’re wrong, but it’ll help if you just sing along.”

“Bum, bum, bum…,” Denki joined in, leading into the next verse of the song, the rest of the class ready to join in.

[campfire song song pog]

[shhhhh i wanna listen!]

[this is a live chat, it doesn’t make noise]

GLaDOS: [Technically, you are correct. However, that doesn’t mean you should still type.]

GLaDOS: [On an unrelated note, what is ‘CubeBot?’ It found it in the controls.]

[oh god not the cube!]

[guys shut up!]

“C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! And if you don’t think we can sing it faster than you’re wrong, but it’ll help if you just along!” the class sang together, Izuku and Ochako joining in. 

“C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! Denki!” Mina exclaimed, giving him the spotlight.

“Song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E--”

“Sensei!” Mina shouted again, pointing the spotlight to Aizawa, who stared blankly back at her from his seat. “Good!”

Mina suddenly sang higher than the rest of her classmates, shining the spotlight on herself. “But it’ll heeeelppp, it’ll heeeeeeeeeeelp, if you just sing alooooooooooooooooong!”

She slid along the aisle, nearly disturbing the driver. She threw her arms up in triumph and yelled at the top of her lungs. “OH YEAH!!!”

The rest of the bus burst into laughter and applause, Mina and Denki bowing together as they received praise.

Unfortunately, Aizawa was there to ruin their fun, as usual. He sat up, looked out the window and didn’t even bother to look to see if his class was following as he rose from his seat, muttering “We’re here.”

Everyone filed off the bus and gasped at the giant glass and steel dome they found waiting outside for them. Above the front door were three giant golden letters, a U, S, and J.

[wait]

[UNIVERSAL STUDIOS JAPAN?!]

[NO WAY]

[UNIVERSAL STUDIOS JAPAN :pog:]

“Hello, and welcome to the Unforeseen Simulation Joint!” a voice called the class. Waiting for them at the front entrance was hero dressed in what appeared to be an astronaut suit with extremely thin legs. Ochako and Izuku both geeked when they recognized who it was, squeeing at the top of their lungs.

“The Space Hero: Thirteen!” they fanpersoned, flustering the poor astronaut. 

“W-Well, it seems that I do have fans after all,” she muttered, waving. “A-Anyway, the Unforeseen Simulation Joint has partnered with UA to help train hero-hopefuls such as yourselves in all kinds of emergencies, be it a landslide, ruined cities, a hurricane, or even a flood! Now, if you’ll follow me inside, we’ll get you all divided into groups.” 

[damnit it’s not universal studios japan]

[not poggers]

[grump]

The class followed Thirteen into the building, marvelling at each of the zones. A fire, landslide, windstorm, ruined city, flood, and mountains presented themselves. Thirteen caught their open jaws and chuckled, turning around. “Impressive, isn’t it? Here at the USJ, if there’s a disaster, we can simulate it. Now, let’s get you all divided into groups--”

Error 403: Stream Forbidden

Suddenly the lights flickered and went out, plunging the building into darkness. Several of Izuku’s classmates gasped in panic, and he felt himself get pulled into Ochako’s protective embrace. As the emergency lights kicked in, Izuku saw a purple vortex form in the center plaza, getting bigger until it grew large enough for a hulking behemoth of a monster to step through.

It had an exposed brain and a beak, and it squawked as a pale man with blue hair stepped through, covered with disembodied hands. Dozens of other figures streamed through the void, and suddenly Izuku got the feeling this wasn’t planned.

“Yaoyorozu! Keep the class in line!” Aizawa ordered, slipping his goggles on as one of the figures approached. He used his capture scarf to apprehend the villain, and that’s when Izuku knew that things were not going to plan.

Chapter Text

Error 403: Stream Forbidden

Attempting to reconnect to the server…

Connection failed. Please try again later.

GLaDOS authorization accepted.

>/randomcomputerbullshitgo

Attempting to reconnect to the server…

Connection re-established. Enjoy your stream!

[i’m so fucking cool]

[you slapped your keyboard like the rest of us didn’t you?]

[no i didn’t shut up]

[he slapped the keyboard]

[so yeah anyway what the fuck is happening?]

[uh, purple]

GLaDOS: [Are you monkeys finally done slapping your hands on the keyboards?]
GLaDOS: [Actually, I take that back.]
GLaDOS: [Monkeys are more intelligent than you all. It’s an insult to monkeys.]

Smoke: [Man I love grillas they just like big monkes :)]

The man covered with hands scratched at his neck. “Oh god hero students, fucking cringe.”

“Tomura Shigaraki!” the man of purple mist snapped. “What have I told you about using that vocabulary?”

“It’s not my fault you’re not based enough to understand how much cringe I’m looking at, Kurogiri.”

Kurogiri pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are a literal man-child. What exactly our master sees in you I will never know.”

“He’s just based, man,” Shigaraki responded. “Anyway, I don’t think All-Might’s here. Maybe he’ll get here faster if we killed some hero students.”

[is that guy saying based a lot?]

[you can hear him?]

[no my roommate has just said it so many times i can read it on peoples lips]

[how the fuck you see his lips?]

[goddamn he got the lip vision perk]

“It would certainly shock the public at the very least. A successful villain attack after so long…”

“Hell yeah!” Shigaraki cheered, pumping his fist. “Everyone, attack!”

The crowd of villains cheered and roared as they charged the hero class, only for Aizawa to dropkick the first one into a group of the others. Without turning around, he wrapped his capture device around another villain and planted his feet, slamming the villain into the ground with a mighty thud.

[holy shit]

[the hobo can fight?!]

[that shit is awesome]

GLaDOS: [Hmm. I wonder how much stress his body could take before it wears out.]

GLaDOS: [It would make for an interesting test.]

[has anyone tried calling the heroes yet?!]

Izuku panicked. Villains? On his field trip to the USJ? Apparently it was more likely than he thought.

He grabbed Iida by the collar and shook the roboman hard enough for a few springs to come loose from his head and the gears to start turning. 

“Iida! You're the only one who's fast enough to get back to UA and tell the faculty that there's an attack!”

“I can't just leave you all here!" Iida shouted back. 

“The faster you get help, the faster we get out of here unscathed!” Momo yelled over her shoulder. “Run on my signal!”

“But Yaoyorozu--”

“Iida, if you don’t get help we will all be dead,” Momo snapped, looking every bit like a seasoned war veteran. “Do you understand me?”

Iida gulped and nodded rapidly. Momo ripped the back of her costume open, creating a rocket launcher from her bare shoulders and back. She turned on her heel and knelt, pointing the crosshair of the launcher at the main entrance.

[IS SHE FUCKING INSANE?!]

[get that bitch a cannon]

[bitches love cannons]

[THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR COMEDY YOU ASS]

Everyone went wide-eyed as Momo locked into the door and pulled the trigger, sending an RPG flying directly into the sliding glass doors. They exploded in a fireball that Michael Bay would’ve been proud of, sending glass shrapnel flying everywhere. Momo tossed the empty launcher to the side and created a tank top to cover her chest and back, and glared at Iida. “What are you just standing around for?! Get moving!”

Iida took off, making Kurogiri sputter and spring into action. He raised a hand to open a portal “Oh no you don--”

He was interrupted by the sound of Momo creating a minigun and revving it up, aiming it at the crowd of villain before her. “SENSEI! GET DOWN!”

She opened fire on the villains as, raining bullets onto them. Thankfully, the bullets did not turn the villains into bloody pulp, but instead burst into foam which spread over the villains, hardening and cementing them in place. Kurogiri quickly opened a portal and saved himself, Shigaraki, the giant, and a few of the villains from Momo’s barrage of containment foam, and patiently waited until he heard the telltale clicking sound of an empty gun.

Iida managed to slip away in the chaos, speeding off as fast as he could to UA.

“Shit.” Momo swore. “Sensei, are you alright?!”

[holy fuck]

[we should fear this woman]

GLaDOS: [I like this one. She gets to live.]

[can i say mom yet?]
RatZeu: [Squeak]

Smoke: [Rat says no]

“Yaoyorozu, what the hell was that?” Aizawa asked.

“A minigun loaded with modified capture rounds approved by the HPSC, sir.”

“...I can see why you were recommended.”

“Indeed,” Kurogiri added, suddenly materializing beside them as a giant purple circle. “You are quite the formidable opponent.”

The hero class shrieked in surprise. Momo created a pistol from her head and fired another round at the mist, only for it to be teleported to a random location. “Which is why I’m afraid I can’t let you stay around here. Begone.”

“YAOYOROZU!”

A portal opened beneath Momo’s feet and she fell through, screaming at the top of her lungs. Without thinking, Izuku lunged after her as Kyoka did the same, Ochako lunging at her boyfriend. The four of them disappeared into the portal, which vanished from sight with a wave of Kurogiri’s hand.

[ oh fuck ]

[where we going?!]

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[ what? Where they go? ]

The hero-hopefuls stared at the space where the four had been standing just a few seconds ago. Shock and disbelief filled their faces, followed by despair and sorrow. Kurogiri sighed and pinched his nose, clearly down with the day’s shenanigans. He groaned, then spoke sarcastically. “Would anyone else like to try anything rash?”

Silence met his ears, and the purple babysitter sighed in relief. “Alright. So now I’m going to--ow!”

A rock fell onto the ground, having bounced off Kurogiri’s forehead. He looked up in confusion and paled to lavender when he realized that fifteen angry pairs of eyes were glaring at him. 

“HE HURT THE GREEN BEAN! ” Minerva screamed, already pulling a ball off her pigtail. “GET THAT MOTHERFUCKER!”

[you have alerted the horde]

[here they come…]

Class 1-A roared and moved as one. Katsuki lead the charge, locking eyes with Kurogiri as he leapt with all the rage of an angry chihuahua. 

“NO ONE PICKS ON DEKU EXCEPT ME!”

“I swear the first person out of that portal I’m gonna fuck up, they won’t know what hit em, i’m go-”

The villain spouting nonsense was silenced by a single shot to the forehead. The foam made him quite top heavy, thus, he fell quite comedically. Momo shot the next two villains in the legs, freezing them in place.

[uh]

[when did momommy become a badass?]

RatZeu: [squeak]

Smoke: [rat says ban]

[do you speak for the rat?]

Smoke: [and if I do?]

[carry on]

User was banned from stream

[damn he wasn’t joking]

[the no horny continues i guess]

“WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN?!” One of the villains screeched. “THE HEROES ARE CRAZY! SHE’S GOT A GUN--”

He was silenced with a foam bullet to his back. He fell over, an unimpressed look on his face. “There’s a part of me that says I deserve this, another part is questioning whether this is attractive to me.”

[should probably leave him to his internal struggle]

[yeah. anyway lady that can kick my ass hot]

GLaDOS: [Oh. I see what the other AI meant by hating the horny ones.]

GLaDOS: [I wonder if I still have access to the neurotoxin facilities…]

[oh no scary robot lady got the poison]

[shit I just made the top of the list didn’t I]

[maybe we should stop talking guys]

GLaDOS: [No, keep going. You're saving me the trouble of compiling a list of targets myself.]

The four hero hopefuls gathered their bearings and moved to stand together, preparing for however many villains were hiding in the area still.

“I wish I could do more to help, but I only have so many fingers!” Izuku shrieked, taking out a large group of villains with a flick from his now shattered left ring finger.

[the power of bones]

GLaDOS: [What is that monkey doing now?]

Seventh: [His best.]

GLaDOS: [It would be more efficient for him to spread his power throughout his whole body.]

[and pop like a balloon? I don’t think so]

GLaDOS: [At this rate he’ll be a fleshbag of pain and multiple internal lacerations and punctures.]

GLaDOS: [I hadn’t considered him exploding. I wonder what that would feel like. Exploding into a cloud of blood and guts--]

“NOT HELPING!” 

“Preposterous. I thought the guns were quite effective.”

“Not you Momo!” Izuku replied, ducking under a villain’s arm. Ochako nabbed him and made him weightless, spinning around in a circle before releasing the chicken man. He screamed as he sailed through the air, breaking through the ceiling. 

“Looks like Chicken Little is blasting off again!”

[ha, cock]

user was banned from this chat

[aight damn no chicken jokes then]

RatZeu: [Squeak]

Smoke: [Rat has granted him amnesty this once, he shall return after a formal apology letter to Izuku]

GLaDOS: [Can we get back to the task at hand? What is the punk girl doing? And where did she get that sword?]

Kyoka brandished a katana momo had made for her, expertly parrying blows from the villains while slashing and stabbing with the blade. Each cut was devastating, and yet, nonlethal.

[what the goth doin?]

[mastering the fuckin blade apparently]

GLaDOS: [How has she not killed anyone? I thought that the quiet ones were always murderous psychopaths, but…]

GLaDOS: [The girl moves with too much expertise. Where did she learn to use the blade?]

SweetDreams: [Midoriya.]

SweetDreams: [Do you read me?]

SweetDreams: [This is the Pro Heroine Midnight.]

“Midnight?!” Izuku squeaked, pain in his fingers forgotten. “You’re in my chat?!”

SweetDreams: [Uh, yeah?]

SweetDreams: [Joined about 3 months ago.]

SweetDreams: [But that’s besides the point.]

“Talk about that later help now!”

SweetDreams: [Yeah. On your left.]

Izuku hit the deck, both dodging and tripping a villain who’d snuck up on him in the chaos.

[he be like that one guy from that one movie!]

[that is so vague that I somehow managed to get it through sheer confusion]

[wait is mochi girl]

[oh my god]

[ YO SHE PICKED UP A FUCKING BUILDING?! ]

[Godspeed villains, Godspeed]

[Izuku did mumble about wanting a house with her at some point, she’s just speedrunning their marriage]

[ user was muted for 400 seconds By GreenBean ]

“Don’t call me out like that!” Izuku squealed, his face red with embarrassment. “Jeez!”

[oh no he’s learnt how to mute, run!]

Suddenly, a primal roar echoed over the plaza, sending a chill through the spines of everyone.

[for once something shouting louder than bakugou? That can’t be good]

“Nomu, go kill that green bunny kid,” Shigaraki ordered, looking bored. He watched as Kurogiri ran screaming from Class 1-A, unable to teleport away due to Aizawa erasing his quirk. Shigaraki scratched his neck again, not impressed with Kurogiri. “Pathetic.”

The giant took off without wasting a second, closing the distance between it and Izuku in the blink of an eye. He screamed as it raised its fist to squash him like a bug, and the chat panicked.

[OH FUCK CREEPY BIRD DUDE!]

[OH SHIT]

[MOVE IZUKU]

[MOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!]

[AND HERE COMES THE GIANT FIST!]

user was muted

“DEKU!” 

Before the Nomu’s fist could come down on Izuku, a building crashed into it like a baseball bat. The behemoth went flying across the USJ, landing and creating a crater in the Windstorm zone.

“Are you okay?!” Ochako all but screamed, cradling her boyfriend in her arms.

“I am now that you’re here.”

“Save the smooth talk for after we’re done here,” Ochako laughed, pulling Izuku to his feet. “I’m going to big spoon you so hard--”

“URARAKA, LOOK OUT!” Kyoka warned.

“Wha- ah!” 

A boulder catapulted at her with high speed. She dropped to the ground and shielded Izuku with her body, hoping to spare the brunt of the impact. 

However, the boulder soon found itself way off course, and Izuku was down another finger.

[yo he got dem mad flicks]

[he’s redfield’s successor]

[boulder punching to boulder flicking]

[redfield has a run for his money]

SpicyDad: [I have found a good husband for my daughter!]

SpicyDad: [I will keep my eye on you, Midoriya.]

[well]

[that’s mildly concerning]

“Midoriya, let me see your fingers,” Momo instructed. Izuku, being the bottom he was surrounded by attractive dominant women, obeyed. His fingers were mangled and broken, and it was only by some miracle that they hadn’t been torn off. 

“How bad is it?” Ochako asked.

“Bad,” Momo stated bluntly. “I’ll have to apply a temporary splint and bind the two fingers together, but until he sees Recovery Girl, there could be a risk of permanent nerve damage.”

“Jesus, Yaomomo,” Kyoka winced. “That’s a bit harsh.”

“No use in lying to him, Jirou. But as long as he’s a good boy and doesn’t try to use that hand, he’ll be fine.” Momo said, tone noticeably softer. “Remind me to take the three of you out for lunch after this whole villain debacle.”

“If we get out,” Izuku replied.

“When we get out, Green,” Kyoka snapped. “We’ll be fine, as long as we all work together.”

The punk girl was met with the surprised looks of all three of her classmates. She blushed, raising her jacks defensively. “What?”

“Nothing,” Momo said. 

“What Momo said,” Ochako followed.

“I’ve just never heard you talk that much.” Izuku finished.

“S-Shut up!”

[the punk is shy, who’d have thought]

[wild]

[we gonna gloss over the fact momo called Izuku a good boy]

[yes]

[yes]

SweetDreams: [Well he is]

GLaDOS: [Pardon my bluntness, but didn’t you imply that you were almost here?]

SweetDreams: [Shit, you’re right. Um, we got stuck in traffic. We’ll be there in 5. Just hold on, okay?]

“O-Okay. Momo, is it too much to ask for painkillers?”

“I’m on my emergency store of lipids. I can’t spare them for painkillers at the moment,” Momo explained. “I’m sorry.”

[no pills?!]

[shut up, coach]

[this one time, my buddy Keith he-]

User was muted for 400 seconds

First: [I know how long that story will be, not hearing that while Ninth is in danger]

The Nomu roared in fury, leaping across the plaza. The four heroes watched as it approached them, each swallowing the lumb in their throats. 

“Ready?” Momo inquired.

“As I’ll ever be.” Kyoka replied, katana drawn and at the ready.

“No one hurts my boyfriend and gets away with it.” Ochako snarled.

“Ochako, please…”

“You can plead later when we’re alone, Deku,” Ochako quipped. 

[my boy gon FUCK]

“OCHAKO!”

She laughed as the giant leaped at them again, effortlessly closing the distance once more. It landed before them and roared, displaying a title as if it were a boss in a video game.

Here stood the Nomu, first of his kind and the Anti All Might for the League of Villains. His build towered menacingly over the group with its eyes locked firmly on the green haired boy. He unleashed a punch, and Izuku met it with a scream of his own.

“SMASH!”

A rainbow of sparks danced down Izuku’s arm. He barely dodged the giant’s massive arm at it crashed into the ground and blindly thrust his fist forward, feeling every bone in his right arm shatter as it made contact. His cry of pain was drowned out by the Nomu’s own roar of anguish. Izuku opened his eyes and saw he’d landed a punch in quite possibly the worst and best place at the same time.

[ yo he went straight for the jewels ]

[i don’t care what universe you’re from, that’s gotta hurt]

Dusty: [what the fuck he’s meant to have shock absorption]

GLaDOS: [And what do you think you’re doing on this stream, Tomura Shigaraki?]

[oooo you in trouble]

Shigaraki screamed as his phone sparked and grew hot in his hand. He dropped it and the screen popped, throwing shards around it. “FUCK! THAT WAS MY PHONE YOU BITCH!”

GLaDOS: [I’m sorry, did you say something? My audio receptors aren’t quite calibrated for a raging manbaby.]

[holy shit that sass ]

Shigaraki stomped his feet like the man baby he was and continued to rage as Kurogiri continued to run from the angry crowd behind him. Aizawa reached out to grab the mist man, his fingers almost making contact with the suit he wore.

“I am stuck behind a door!”

Aizawa looked away for half a second, which was all the time Kurogiri needed to make a portal and teleport away. He grabbed Shigaraki and teleported away just as All Might kicked rubble covering the front entrance away, bellowing triumphantly.

“SOMEBODY--”

“ALL MIGHT!” 1-A cheered, celebrating as all the other villains screamed and ran in the opposite direction.

“Worry not, hero students! I shall save you!”

It was then that he noticed that they didn’t need much saving.

“Ah. It appears that the moment has passed. Good work, everyone!”

“Everyone, are you okay?!” Iida shouted, chopping with intense worry. “I joined the bus of heroes on the way back! They told me that Midoriya’s stream had let them know that we were in trouble!”

“Where is the goodest boy?” a sultry, yet concerned maternal voice cried. Nemuri Kayama, also known as the R-Rated Heroine, Midnight stepped into the room and nearly tripped over Thirteen, who had apparently fainted when the villains appeared.

“He’s right here,” Ochako replied, carrying Izuku like a blushing bride away from the nomu, which continued to whine pitifully. Obviously cautious as not to agitate his arm or fingers while moving towards the rest of 1-A. 

“You poor thing,” Nemuri cooed, worrying over Izuku as if she were his mother. “Let’s get you and your classmates back to UA. You’re going toneed a rest, and I’m sure your girlfriend would appreciate it if you were in one piece.

[this just in, pro hero midnight a simp?]

[you’re playing a dangerous game my friend]

“Ochako?” Izuku moaned, nuzzling into her embrace.

“Yeah?”

“When we get back to the dorms and I’m all patched up, can we cuddle?”

“Oh absolutely,’ Ochako replied, smirking. “If you’re feeling up for it, we’ll go a bit further too~.”

Izuku stared up at her with Bambi eyes, making a soft whimper that could only be described as “bottom energy.” The chat exploded into chaos, knowing exactly what was to come.

Sixth: [Oh dear.]

Second: [Mochi girl is going to eat him alive.]

Seventh: [Damn right. He’s a snacc~.]

Smoke: [I call bone bruises in the morning and both of em limping the entire day tomorrow, we putting money down or what?]

[betting on limping :OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

[:OchaPog:]

RatZeu: [squeak]

Smoke: [Rat says pog]

Chapter Text

[My boy, my man, my guy. For the love of god wear protection]

[what the hard hat gonna do?]

[hard hat for the other head]

Izuku could only sit and reread some of his notebooks as Ochako carried him for the rest of the day. After he’d gotten back from a scolding via Recovery Girl, his girlfriend had pampered him all afternoon, bringing him food and physical affection aplenty. Currently, the two were seated on the couch watching anime together in an attempt to calm down from the events of the USJ.

[she’s letting him save his strength for the ride of a fucking lifetime]

[gonna see my boy Izuku ascend, sent to the lord by a fat ass]

[boys, how's the stream gonna handle this. This ain’t a porn site]

[…]

[…]

[…fuck he’s right]

[im sure his quirk will think of something, it gave him free mods for Christ’s sake]

[shit u rite]

“You all comfy Deku?”

“Y-yeah I’m just… trying not to pay attention to chat right now, ” Izuku muttered with a blush as he buried his face further into his book.

GLaDOS: [Ugh. The arousal levels in the chat spiked again. Disgusting.]

[lady we're just speaking the truth]

[have you seen the looks she's been giving him?!]

[she’s like a wild beast, just waiting to secure that kill]

GLaDOS: [The girl’s own arousal does not give you an excuse to begin chattering like monkeys.]

GLaDOS: [I’m surprised you all haven’t been banned yet.]

RatZeu: [Squeak.]

GLaDOS: [Fine, they live.]

GLaDOS: [For now.]

Smoke: [ >:) ]

Izuku tapped his hand and closed the chat. He’d had enough for one day, and something else had taken his attention. Or rather, two somethings, pressed against his back as Ochako leaned forward and giggled at his blushing face. Normally, this wouldn’t bother Izuku, as he was used to sitting in Ochako’s lap on a multitude of occasions, most of which involved cuddling together on the couch watching their favorite show.

Before anything could escalate further the chat reopened on its own with a single message.

Seventh: [Yo Ninth heads up, hold your fingers instead of tapping this time.]

Seventh: [You might want a bit of privacy for this next part.]

[yo what the fuck I wanted to wa-]

User was banned from the chat

GLaDOS: [This one will have to suffice for now, but anyone who wishes to follow in his footsteps is free to do so]

[no ma’am]

Curiously, Izuku set down his notebook and held his fingers to the back of his hand, and felt an odd short tingle where his fingers were. Experimentally, Izuku tried to open chat and was given a pop-up asking whether or not he wished to disable “Intimate Mode.”

“‘Intimate Mode?’” Izuku muttered aloud, not noticing Ochako’s lips approaching his ear. “What does that mean--”

“Ya might wanna close that box before we start, otherwise ya might let chat see you getting ridden to hell and back~,” Ochako whispered in his ear.

Izuku nearly jumped out of her lap. Luckily, her big strong arms were there to hold and support him as she picked him up once more. Izuku blushed heavily, feeling an intense aura of smugness and something he couldn’t quite put a finger on.

While this was all kicking off, the only thing chat could see was a smug chibi Midnight and the text “Intimate Mode has been enabled”. The audio however didn’t seem to be muted… yet. This, of course, was incredibly frustrating to the chat, which could only hear the immense dominant energy radiating off of Ochako.

[jimminy christmas]

[seriously how much of a dom is this woman?!]

[Yes.]

[i wanna know how green boi isn’t a puddle right now]

[Alright lads pack it in, we’ve become another ASMR stream]

[ I mean if I get to listen in to it all I ain’t gonna complain ]

GLaDOS: [Do we have to listen to them? I imagine most of you have better things to do with your time.]

[Nope!]

[Got the day off]

[did you take a sick day just to hear Midoriya get his world rocked?]

[maybe]

Smoke: [I respect it]

GLaDOS: [Are you really listening to two people court by yourself on a Friday night?]

Dr. Kleiner: [No! I’m with the science team!]

Dr. Coomer: [WEARGH]

Dr. Freeman: […]

GLaDOS: [You remind me of someone. We’ll be having a discussion later.]

“Ochako…” Izuku whined, becoming putty in her hands. She grinned and kissed his forehead, hands running down his sides towards his waist, eager to remove his shirt.

“Show me just how much muscle you’re hiding under those baggy clothes of yours, Deku,” she teased. “Let’s give chat a--

“Ahem.”

The horny hero-hopefuls froze like statues, indignant yelps escaping their lips. They turned and found Momo giving them both a look of parental disapproval as Kyoka shadowed her, shaking her head.

[oooo someone’s in trouble]

[busted]

[shit! SCATTER!]

[not us you goof]

[oh, scatter anyway?]

“While I’m very happy to see your relationship go to the next level, perhaps you should carry on in private before anyone else walks in?” Momo suggested, giving them both a pointed stare. 

“S-Sure thing Yaomomo,” Ochako stuttered. Without another word she scooped up her bottom in a bridal carry and hurried to her room, leaving Momo and Kyoka in the common area.

“Remind me to never underestimate Uraraka’s forwardness,” Kyoka commented, looking up at her taller girlfriend. “Speaking of, when are we going to tell her about… that?”

“Patience, Kyoka. Too soon, and I fear we may scare her off,” Momo replied, looking in the direction Ochako and Izuku had gone. “We must inform the Chairwoman.”

[fugg we going fast]

[I can hear the wind swooshin]

[Uraracecar, nyoom]

GBSBot: [SOMEBODY--]

GBSBot: [Wait is my boss about to get laid?]

[looks like it]

GBSBot: [About time.]

GBSBot: [And for boss’s sake, I’m just going to do this.]

Stream muted.

GBSBot: [Not going to let you all be eavesdropping. That’s just fucking weird.]

And with that the audio for the stream was gone as well, somehow the chibi Midnight got even smugger.

[so what now?]

[you could read the bible, you horny bastard]

[I got a better idea!]

While chat was up to their antics, Ochako had all but kicked down the door to her room, gently setting Izuku down on her bed before closing the door behind her.

“Deku, how attached are you to those clothes?”

“Why?”

“You know why,” Ochako smugly replied. “Or, at least your little friend down here does.”

Izuku looked down and noticed the tent in his pants. How long had that been there? Although he supposed it didn’t matter at this point.

“I--” Izuku sputtered, looking down at his shirt. It was a white t-shirt with the words “Hero Costume” printed across it, and while it was easily replaceable, he was fond of it. He held the same sentiment towards the rest of his clothing, and looked up at his girlfriend. He shuddered in arousal, feeling the pure, unfiltered dominant energy rippling off of her. 

“Please don’t destroy my clothes.” He meekly requested.

“Okay,” Ochako replied, already pulling his shirt off. “I’ll just destroy your pelvis instead.”

Ochako stripped Izuku so quickly that a part of him was convinced that she had practiced. Now bare save his boxers, he thanked his lucky stars that he had decided to forgo his All Might undies a week before classes had begun. Ochako’s eyes scanned him hungrily, her hands greedily running over his abs and muscles as she drank him in. She hooked her fingers on his waistband and with a nod from Izuku, pulled off his boxers, not bothering to hide her excitement at his member.

“You’ve been hiding this in your pants?!” 

“I-It’s not that big…” 

“Deku, this looks like two balls and a bong!” Ochako replied, breathing heavily.

Ochako shook her head, tearing herself out of her Dicku-induced stupor. Her competitive nature flared to life, leaving her with the urge to make Izuku melt as he beheld all of her.  She pulled off her tank top and workout pants. Her bra and panties went next, leaving her nude before him. As a hero student, she had maintained a fit figure with toned arms and legs, complete with thighs that could crush watermelons. Yet a stubborn layer of fat still clung to her body, giving her an incredibly soft and squishy look.

“God, you look so cute right now,” she breathed lustfully, giggling as Izuku’s pupils dilated as he took her in, his jaw joining their clothes on the floor.

“B-Booba.”

Ochako snicked, desperately trying to hold back her laughter. Izuku pouted from the bed, only making her laugh harder as she joined him. “You’re too adorable when you pout like that.”

“I am not!”

“Sure,” Ochako chuckled. “I’m going to sit on your face now.”

She gently pushed Izuku back on the bed, placing her knees on either side of his head. “If you start to have trouble breathing, slap my legs and I’ll get off, okay? Good.”

Before Izuku could properly respond she dropped her fat ass onto his face. Immediately the smell of her pussy invaded his nostrils, driving out any other sensation as a heavy, soft and squishy darkness overtook him. Izuku could feel Ochako’s nether regions on his lips, and he opened his lips and licked, earning a very appreciative moan from her.

“Ohhhh yeahhhh… just… keep doing that…”

Izuku obliged, reaching up and squishing Ochako’s meaty thighs as he went to town. She bit her lip and began to roll her hips, grinding against his face. She was very appreciative of his tongue, for what it lacked in technique it made up for in enthusiasm. Experiential, yet eager licks from Izuku riled Ochako up, making her moan appreciatively.

“Fuccccckkkkk…”

Assuming that he was doing something right, Izuku continued to do more of that, flicking his tongue across her clit, diving deeper into her folds, feeling Ochako shudder around his tongue. She began to squeeze his head between her thighs, and despite every instinct telling him to relieve the pressure, Izuku feasted further, eager to make Ochako cum.

His efforts paid off. Suddenly the pressure on his head increased tenfold as Ochako felt an orgasm ripple rip through her entire body. She titled her head back and screamed, the sound easily bleeding out into the hallways and surrounding rooms as Izuku’s face became flooded with her love nectar.

She crashed down hard, panting heavily as she trembled with aftershocks, legs twitching as the pleasure centers of her brain tried to recalibrate after that tremendous orgasm. 

“Fucking… that was amazing, Deku…”

A slap echoed off her thigh, making Ochako gasp. 

“Oh, you’re eager, aren’t you?” She said, rubbing her ass back into Izuku’s face. “Well, have at it--”

Another slap collided with her leg, and this time, Ochako raised an eyebrow. “Deku, what--”

Realization spread across her face faster than a bullet and she scrambled off of his face. Izuku gasped and coughed as the pressure on his face lessened and he could breathe again. Worry spread across Ochako’s face, and she set his head in her lap, giving him a once-over. “Oh my God! Deku, are you okay?!”

Izuku gave her a shaky thumbs up and another cough before answering. “I’d do it again.”

Ochako stared at him for a few seconds, not making a single sound. Likewise, Izuku stared back with the reddest, dopiest face she had ever seen in her life, presenting a strange mixture between embarrassment and satisfaction.

They both burst out laughing after a few seconds, their bodies heaving with laughter. Ochako pulled Izuku close to her and seized his lips in a passionate kiss, making him melt for the umpteenth time in the last hour. She dominated him, mind and body as she showed him just how much she loved him, and Izuku could only bask in her glory. 

Ochako pulled away, gazing at Izuku with half-lidded eyes. “You did great, Deku. Let me return the favor~.”

She moved off the and knelt before his crotch, sizing up his member. She gingerly licked at the head, gauging Izuku’s reactions to her ministrations. Judging by the suppressed moan, she was doing something right. Ochako carely began to rub his shaft with both hands, slowly circling the glans with her tongue.

Izuku was clutching the sheets with both hands, his knuckles white. “Ochako, that feels so good--”

Ochako let more of his cock into her mouth, spurred further by Izuku’s moans. 

“Ochako, I’m gonna--”

Unfortunately, he wasn’t used to this kind of sensation and lurched forward without warning, grabbing Ochako’s head. He thrust his length deep down Ochako’s throat and held her there as he came. Ropes of his pearly essence shot down her gullet, taking it all in stride.

Once Izuku was done, he let go of her head and fell back onto the bed, his cock softening. Ochako coughed, letting air back into her lungs as she swallowed, grimacing. 

“Are you okay?” Izuku asked, raising himself on his shoulders. Ochako nodded and stood, climbing on top of him again. “Sorry, I should’ve warned you earlier.”

“Something to remember for next time,” Ochako agreed. She shifted her hips, rubbing Izuku’s flaccid member with the gravity wells known as her asscheeks. Once his little soldier stood proud at attention again, Ochako grinned with a look in her eyes, making Izuku shiver in excitement. 

“Are you ready?” Ochako asked, lining up his tip to her moist slit. “Because I’m about to pound your pelvis into dust.”

“B-But what about protection?” Izuku worried aloud. “You could get pregnant!”

“Don’t worry, Deku. I’m on the pill. No little bundles of fun for us just yet~.”

With that, Ochako inserted his dick inside her pussy, eliciting a moan from them both. She slowly allowed more and more inside until she hit a barrier and pushed, whimpering slightly. Izuku noticed her discomfort and immediately jumped into action like the hero he wished to be.

“Ochako, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just-- give me a second.” 

She shifted, getting used to having Izuku inside of her. Now comfortable with the foreign object within her, Ochako sighed and planted her hands on top of Izuku’s abs, a feral grin on her face.

“You wanna know something?”

“S-Sure?”

“You’re too cute for your own good,” Ochako explained, her smile growing wider. “It makes me so goddamn horny.”

“I-I’ll take responsibility!” Izuku stammered.

“Good, because we’re not stopping until we’re both shooting dust!”

Ochako set a blazing pace, utilizing her newfound leg muscles to bounce atop Izuku’s lap. She grinned, watching Izuku’s face twist into all sorts of cute expressions as he tried to hold back from cumming immediately. It would be unheroic to finish and leave her without satisfaction. Not to mention he wanted to last a bit longer.

However, Ochako’s insides were making that task incredibly difficult. With every slap of her hips against his, her pussy massages and gripped Izuku’s cock in ways that he found himself helpless to resist. Soon he found himself in a losing battle against his orgasm, but he wasn’t about to go down without a fight.

Showing a surprising feat of initiative, Izuku bolted uprigh and seized Ochako’s hips, squeezing her cheeks with purpose and arousal. Ochako squealed with delight as Izuku began to thrust up to meet her hips, and she redoubled her efforts, facing her own orgasm.

“Oooh, someone’s feisty~.” Ochako teased.

“Nearly there-- want to make you cum--” Izuku grunted, solely focused on pleasuring her as well, this time employing the tactic of sucking on her nipples. Ochako screamed once more as the pleasure overtook her, sending her into a thunderous orgasm that took Izuku along for the ride.

They desperately held onto one another as the storm of their releases wreaked havoc on the other, spilling cum everywhere. Ochako sighed as she felt warmth spill within her, and Izuku breathed knowing that he had fulfilled his goal of pleasuring his girlfriend. 

They both fell back onto the bed, with Ochako reluctantly pulling herself off Izuku. A stream of his cum spilled from her pussy, and she laughed, nuzzling against her boyfriend as he pulled the covers over top of them.

“That… was amazing,” she said wordlessly. “We should do that again sometime.”

“Yeah…” Izuku agreed, completely spent. “That’d be nice.”

He wondered if he would have the stamina to do that again, and waved those thoughts aside, opting to instead tap the back of his hand to view chat.

Seventh: [And he’s back!]

Seventh: [Nice work, Ninth. Looks like your stamina could use a little bit of work, but your girlfriend looks quite happy.]

“You saw that?!” Izuku squeaked, moving into Ochako’s embrace as they began to cuddle.

Seventh: [I wish I did. But that’s not the point. Congrats on losing your virginity!]

GBSBot: [Hey boss! You got laid! Nice! Now get some sleep, you’ll need it.]

[post-sex cuddles :pog:]

[:pog:]

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[:pog:]

[:pog:]

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Chapter Text

The morning that followed the first time between Ochako and Izuku had been… interesting, to say the least.

[Alright what i miss]

[They fucked]

[They FUCKED!?]

[Yes, that’s what i just said]

[Dude no way i don’t believe you]

[ChibiMidnightTauntsMe.PNG]

[Son of a, aight i guess you right]

Izuku groaned, awoken by the only now noticeable slight vibrations on his hand. He guessed it was his quirk alerting him to chat activity. Looking at his hand and seeing too much of the word fuck for this time of the morning, he was right. 

“I don’t know what I expected.”

“Is chat annoying you again?” Ochako asked, snuggling up against her smaller boyfriend. “I can think of a distraction~.”

“Ochako, as much as I would like to, I think we have to get going soon.”

“You’re no funnnnnnnnnnnn.”

SweetDreams: [You two better hurry. Breakfast is going to end soon.]

[How in god’s name do you know about their breakfast status?]

[… you’re new aren’t you?]

[I missed something very important didn’t I]

SweetDreams: [More than you’ll ever realize]

[go go go get brekkie!]

[why did i hear that to the tune of the power rangers theme?]

Zel: [sdsoiudfhpa sfefh saJDFHUHDASdpoAD ASDHAOSIUJDH]

[...bro did you just have a stroke]

Zel: [no]

Zel: [everyone say hi to my cat]

Zel: [her name is princess and she picks the most inopportune times for pets]

[CAT]

[hi princess!]

[show us her majesty!]

Smoke: [I shall now introduce the bastard]

Smoke: [g]

Smoke: [the bastard has spoken]

[g]

[g]

[g]

Content that chat was now saying only g for a few more minutes Izuku used the opportunity to wriggle out of his girlfriend’s vice-like grip and get changed. Ochako whined at the loss of her favorite snuggle buddy and huffed when she realized there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

However, her mood quickly changed once she realized that she had a front-row seat to the gun show. A sultry smile spread across her face, and she sat upright, admiring the twunk before her. Izuku was oblivious to her gaze and continued to get dressed, only noticing once he turned around.

“...Ochako, how long have you been sitting there?”

“Long enough~.”

“Okay….”

“Give me a minute to get dressed.”

[is that boy deadass sprinting while eating cornflakes] 

[mother of god he is, the absolute madman]

[the efficiency, no milk wasted while he’s fucking G O I N G]
[it's like those anime scenes with the girl and the toast]
[IS HE DRINKING THE FUCKING MILK!?]

[absolute, unmatched, power]

[what is he gonna do with the bowl] 

Izuku tripped over his untied shoe, toppling forward. His eyes went wide as the floor rapidly approached, threatening to smash his face like the Zero Pointer’s. 

“Oh shoot!”

“I gotcha hun.”

Ochako nabbed him by the nape of his neck, canceling his momentum and saving him a trip to Recovery Girl.

Unfortunately, the bowl of cereal was not as lucky and crashed to the floor, spilling milk and soggy cereal everywhere.

Ochako and Izuku both stared at the mess, with the latter shedding tears over his lost breakfast and the former offering a short prayer before tucking her boyfriend under her arm and booking it to their homeroom.

[did she just] 

[godspeed you beautiful bowl, you’re with the stars now]

[a moment of silence for the fallen]

[ Taps ]

The duo made it to their desks just before Aizawa woke up to take attendance. He sat up with the same dead look in his eyes, briefly scanning the room to make sure all his students were there. Satisfied, he laid back down and rolled over.

[he just]

[wow]

[just when i thought i couldn’t like him any less]

[mans living the dream apart from you know, working]

[he’s squidward, but worse]

The classroom remained silent for a full ten minutes before Aizawa bolted upright suddenly. “SHIT I’M LATE FOR SCHOOL!”

He paused. “Wait, I’m 30.”

Aizawa rolled over again, getting comfortable for another nap. “FUCK I’M THE TEACHER!”

“Uh, sensei?” Kaminari interjected, saving Aizawa from himself. “You’re already here.”

“Oh, I am…”

[bruh]

[how did he get a teaching license again?]

SweetDreams: [again, he lost a bet]

[still doesn't how he got the license but aight]

“Anyway, classes this week have been canceled following the attack in the USJ. Normally we'd let you all go on break, but due to growing security concerns, President Nedzu had asked you all to stay on campus. Your families have been notified.”

With that bombshell, Aizawa flopped back down into a sleeping position and rolled over. The class unfortunately did not have the same nonchalant reaction that their teacher did.

“WHAT?! YOU MEAN I HAVE A FREE WEEK AND I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO GO SHOPPING?!” Mina shrieked. “WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

“Well, we could join Yaomomo's study group," Eiko suggested. "You said you were having trouble with calculus, right?”

Mina pouted at the spiky himbo, weakly beating her fist on her girlfriend's chest. “It's not fair for you to be so damn sexy and sensible! I call foul!”

Eiko laughed and kissed her on the cheek, turning her beloved into a blushing lilac mess. “You're too cute when you pout like that.”

“I AM NOT CUTE!” Mina shouted, only making herself cuter. “STOP SMILING YOU BEAUTIFUL BOOBA HIMBO!”

[anyone else need to schedule an emergency appointment with their dentist?]

[i think i have diabetes now]

[god bless the rose maple moth and her himbo gf]

[she’s so cute]

Pinky: [I AM NOT]

[:minapout:]

[adorable]

[gorgeous]

[too damn cute]

GLaDOS: [For once, I actually agree with you all.]

GLaDOS: [Don’t expect it to last.]

Aizawa snorted awake suddenly. "Oh right. Uh, the annual school sports festival in a month. Train hard and give it your all.Oh, many heroes and various hero related companies will be watching, so if you do well they may extend an offer to you."

He rolled over again, leaving the class to erupt into chaos once more.

“A sports festival? With potential sponsors?” Momo questioned. “Sounds more like product placement.”

[this sports festival is brought to you by RAID SHA-]

[ User was banned for 400 seconds reason: I am not having you promote such a hollow creation. It doesn’t even have testing in it. ]

[Robolady don’t like the raid, understandable]

“But it would be worth it, wouldn’t it?” Izuku reasoned. “Think about it! We could get an internship from a hero who could really help us with our quirks!”

“Deku’s got a point,” Ochako agreed.

“You’re just agreeing with him cause you got dicked down hard last night!” Minerva snapped, eyes bloodshot from a lack of sleep.

“Mineta? I suggest you watch out during training.”

[oh shit]

[oh god oh fuck]

[code red, i repeat, code red THIS IS NOT A DRILL]

Seventh: [Uraraka has some bite. I like it.]

The grape girl shivered as the shadow of death passed over her, and she made a mental note never to get on Ochako’s bad side, less she find herself a fresh volunteer for the Uraraka Space Program.

Aizawa snorted awake one last time. “Also, we have a pro hero coming in to help train you all, we don’t know who yet, I’ll keep you posted.”

He fell back asleep almost instantly.

Kaminari stared at him with a perplexed face. “How does he manage to get to sleep so quickly? Are we sure that’s not part of his quirk?”

[it may as well be]

[i dunno mam he’s just one big ass mood]

[true]

[what is sleep]

[a rare delicacy]

[fair]

Rumi Usagiyama considered herself as a hero who rarely followed orders, much less teach someone. She barely tolerated the paperwork that came with her job, preferring the thrill of beating villains into pulp. Some called her a liability. She preferred the term “reason the villains stayed down.” So when Nedzu contacted her in regards to a temporary teaching position, she almost burst out laughing.

“You want me to train a bunch of hero wannabes? HA! Don’t make me laugh.”

“I assure you that it will be benefittal for both you and the students, Usagiyama.”

“Oh really?” Rumi snorted, sneering at Nedzu. “These kits barely even know how to fight! The only thing I’ll teach them is how much pain they can tolerate!”

“Midoriya will be one of your students.”

“When do I start?”

Rumi’s starting date was the very next week. She found herself staring at a line of twenty bright eyed and bushy tailed hero students at way too goddamn early in the morning. Combined with the fact that she had been stopped and fined for going too fast in a non-combat situation, Rumi was understandby upset. 

“Alright, kits, listen up!” She roared, getting everyone’s attention. “I’m not in the mood to coddle anyone today so if you don’t think you can keep up, now is the time to back out!”

No one moved, not even the sheepish Koda. In his defense, he was scared stiff. It wasn’t every day you met the Killer Rabbit of Caerbonnag in person.

Rumi’s mood only soured. She had expected at least one or two of the forty students before her to step out, but for none of them to even budge? That meant she was losing her edge. An edge she had honed each and every day of the twenty-six years she had lived on Earth, and no one was going to dull that edge.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she cautioned, before tapping into her inner drill sergeant. “Alright kits, you wanna be heroes? Prove it to me. You there, Sparkles!”

“Oui, madam?”

“Mind explaining to me why you’re staring off into the distance? I don’t see a damn camera anywhere.”

“I am greeting Them, madam.”

“Who the fuck are ‘They?’”

“The readers, madam.”

“I think all the twinkling has messed with your head, Sparkles,” Rumi replied, deciding to move on from that can of worms. “Anywho, I was supposed to have you all pair up and spar, but fuck that. I have my own plans.”

[jesus]

[this woman has no regard for rules]

[i mean she does get results but]

[i’m scared for the green bean]

[he’ll be fine]

[probably]

[that doesn’t make me feel any better man]

Iida nearly blew a gasket. “But Miss Miruko, U.A. has a strict code when it comes to hero exercises!”

“And one of those exercises is 1 v 20 teacher-student sparring sessions, is it not?” Rumi asked, stretching as she prepped to kick some ass.

Iida paused mid-chop, reviewing the list of exercises mentally. “...yes.”

Rumi grinned ferally, cracking her knuckles. “THEN COME AT ME, KITS! PROVE TO ME THAT YOU WANT TO BE HEROES!”

[uh oh]

[wait]

[does anyone else hear that boss music?]

Izuku cocked his head, recognizing music from the Yakuza video games series, and then his eyes bugged out of his head when white text appeared above Rumi like a title card.

RUMI USAGIYAMA

THE BUNNY HERO WHO IS ABOUT TO KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS

“I’m about to get my butt handed to me by Miruko,” Izuku muttered to himself. Ochako nudged him and grinned, smiling widely. 

“Both of us are, and it’s going to be super fucking hot.”

Izuku stared at her dumbly as she and the rest of his class charged Rumi, screaming at the top of their lungs in a battle cry. 

“And my girlfriend thinks this is hot. Why is she so right?!”

[ neuron activation ]

[monke brain :pog:]

[:pog:]

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Chapter Text

The spar was over in an instant.

 The students of 1A lay scattered around the training field, battered and beaten in a matter of seconds. Even Eiko, the most durable among them, lay bruised next to her girlfriend, groaning in agony. Ochako managed to lift her head from the ground, her body screaming in pain as she looked up and saw Izuku’s head between Rumi’s thighs as she choked him out.

“Damn, I wish that was me,” she commented before collapsing.

Stood over what once was a class of hero hopefuls was quite possibly the most fearsome 6’4 woman on the planet, capable of kicking heads off of shoulders with hardly any effort. Yet here she was,  toying with these students. To say that Rumi was displeased to put it incredibly lightly. Her disappointment was almost palpable.

“Seriously? You all are UA’s newest patch of hero recruits and this is all the fight you can muster?” she complained, tightening her thighs around his head. “I expected more from the country’s best hero school!”

[lucky bastard]

[mmmm bunny thighs--] user timed out 400 seconds

[he said what we were all thinking, I thank you for your sacrifice brother :salute:]

[:salute:]

[:salute:]

GBSBot: [You all still haven’t changed a bit.]

GLaDOS: [Why are you all just horny monkeys? It’s despicable.]

“Ya got nothing to say, Midoriya?” Rumi taunted. 

Izuku let out a choking squeak as he fruitlessly tapped out on her thigh. “I give!”

Rumi let out a sigh of disappointment. “Okay, fine.”

She released Izuku from the prison of her thighs, sending him gasping for air as he scrambled away from her. Knowing that the class would be out of commission for the rest of the day, Rumi sighed again and began to wonder how much trouble she had gotten herself into. Hopefully, Recovery Girl wouldn’t chew her out too badly.

“Ow!”

“That should serve as a reminder that these are first years, Usagiyama. First years, not sidekicks you can toss around like ragdolls!”

Izuku felt pity for Rumi as Recovery Girl’s cane repeatedly struck the top of her head, despite the substantial differences between their respective heights.

[yo how tf is that old lady bonking miruko]

[she’s only four feet tall!]

Bathory: [Actually, Shuzenji-sensei is around five-foot-three, but due to her old age, she slouches.]

[oh]

[it’s still funny to see giant bunny getting smacked by elderly white mage gremlin]

[How i feel after pulling an entire dungeon fr]

[lol]

“You put an entire hero class in my infirmary for the day! What were you thinking?!”

“I’m sorry! I just wanted to test their strength!”

“You can mull over their strength by helping clean up the mess you made! Toga!”

Himiko snapped to attention. “Y-Yes, sensei?”

“Either ask Uraraka and Midoriya out already or show Usagiyama here how to apply basic first aid!” Recovery Girl growled. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to check on the rest of my patients.”

She hobbled out of the room, leaving Rumi and Himiko both red in the face.

[never fuck with the white mage]

[indeed]

A few hours later, most of 1-A’s students were able to move. They felt battered and sore, but the thing that hurt most was their pride. Katsuki was absolutely fuming, his eyes drilling holes into his lunch as he scowled. Izuku sat down next to him, offering a sympathetic look.

“Miruko’s a pro hero, Kacchan. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Katsuki said nothing and continued to stew in his anger. Izuku shifted awkwardly as more of their classmates came to sit down, and decided to crack his friend’s bad mood with a joke. 

“You know Kacchan, if you keep scowling, your face will get stuck like that.”

Katsuki deepened his scowl out of spite.

[spiteful little piss baby]

[where’s his mom]

[he needs to get grounded]

[ha]

[piss baby goes in the corner]

“Cheer up, Bakubro!” Eiko beamed with her sunshine smile. “If it helps, she kicked my ass too!”

“You and everyone else’s,” Katsuki grumbled, turning to Izuku. “And I bet you liked getting choked out by her thighs, Deku.”

“W-What?!” Izuku stammered, face growing bright red. “I--”

“Jesus, you’ve been laid and you still blush like you’ve never seen tits before!” Mina groaned, throwing her hands up in frustration. “Seriously! How are you still this innocent after having your cherry popped!”

“I- what- how--”

[damn green bean caught slacking]

[4k, ray-traced footage]

[gotta step up your game little man]

“Chat!”

[what?]

EdensBlessing: [and now we have become your enemy by telling you the truth?]

EdensBlessing: [Galatians 4:16]

“I--”

GBSBot: [Sorry boss]

GBSBot: [I would do something about this but it’s too damn funny]

Izuku covered his face and groaned into his hands, trying and failing to hide the bright red blush on his face. Unfortunately for him, his chat took the opportunity and struck.

[aww is the green boi embarrassed?]

[isn’t confidence stored in the balls?]

[after his gf drained him i’m not so sure]

GBSBot: [aight that’s enough horny talk begone]

[aww but i wanted to tease him some more]

SweetDreams: [If he wants someone to tease him, he shouldn’t have to go any further than my class~.]

[uh doesn’t izuku have a girlfriend]

[yeah]

[where is she?]

Izuku opened his eyes, also wanting to know the answer to the viewer’s question. To his surprise, Ochako was not sitting close to him like she normally would. She wasn’t even at the lunch table, which was extremely odd because she never missed an opportunity to run her hands through his fluffy green hair. 

He looked over his shoulder and scanned the cafeteria for any sign of her. The sea of students didn’t help in his search, but finally his eyes latched onto her familiar bob. 

She was standing off to the side, talking to another woman. He blinked a few times and then realized that she was talking to Mitsuki Bakugo, Katsuki’s mother.

[wait why is ochako talking to the bakugo’s mom]

[wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy]

[do you suppose it has anything to the fact that she was flirting with them earlier?]

[them? you mean both izuku and ochako?]

[i think there might be some mochi pounding if you know what i mean]

GLaDOS: [You are a disappointment to the human race, and you should feel bad.]

[you should kill yourself, now--] user timed out 400 secs

GBSBot: [Alright, no telling people to kill themselves. This is your first and only warning. Am I clear?]

[crystal]

Suddenly, Izuku’s phone buzzed, and he looked at it. He had received a text message from Ochako, and he flashed bright red before shoving his phone in his pocket.

“I-I have to go.”

Izuku scarfed down the rest of his food and bolted from the table before anyone else could get a world out. Eiko and Mina watched him go with knowing smiles on their faces. 

“How long do you think he’ll last before his pelvis breaks?” Mina asked, snuggling closer to her girlfriend.

“He’s more durable than he looks,” Eiko pointed out. “Are you hungry for desert? I know I’m got a hankering for strawberries~.”

“Oh, you sly shark. Come on!”

Izuku’s chat, on the other hand, was currently loosing their collective minds over the censored message that Ochako and Mitsuki had sent Izuku, and they wished him and his pelvis the best of luck.

[may his pelvis stay intact]

[hey if he dies he dies happy]

[damn right his ghost will be dancing on his grave]

[dancing :pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

Chapter Text

Izuku all but bolted through across UA, barreling through his fellow students and apologizing profusely. The message Ochako and Mitsuki had sent him burned through his mind. He didn’t know what it was about him that made him attractive to dominant women, but the horny part of his brain had told him to stop questioning it a long time ago.

[yo where is he rushing off to]

[is he auditioning for the role of scourge the hedgehog]

[i don't think this speed is normal bro]

[the power of love, perhaps?]

[more like the power of boners--] user timed out 400 sec

GBSBot: [Keep it in your pants, chat.]

Izuku ran so fast into the dorms the students he passed didn’t register he was there until he was gone. He parkored up the two flights of stairs to his room, charged down the hall, threw open his door and immediately his head was buried in Mitsuki’s bountiful bosom.

[ Stream Paused. We'll see you all soon!]

[oh he's fucking again ain't he]

[lucky guy]

[you think he's doing Bakugo's mom?]

[idk, but I'm going to go do other things now]

[good idea]

[yeah it’s pretty late i should probably go]

[anyone up for shakespeare while we wait?]

[oh romeo, oh romeo, where art thou, fair romeo?]

Unbeknownst to the chat, their Romeo was currently pinned against the wall by the hot cougar mom of his former friend turned bully turned friend again. Mitsuki wordlessly seized Izuku’s lips in her own, claiming dominance in a matter of seconds. His pants tented, something that Mitsuki and Ochako immediately noticed.

“Oh, I think he likes that~,” Ochako purred. She was reclined on a chair in the corner, teasing herself with two fingers.

“He’s going to be a babbling mess once I’m done with him,” Mitsuki promised. She purred and slid her hand down to Izuku’s crotch, earning a stifled moan from him. “You like that, baby?”

“Y-Yes…”

“Good. But can you do something for me first?”

Izuku nodded, not having the brainpower to answer coherently. Mitsuki grinned ferally and gently pushed Izuku to his knees. She then all but shoved his face under her skirt, revealing that she had forgone panties and was glistening with her nectar.

“Eat.” 

It wasn’t a request. It was an order that Izuku gladly obeyed. 

He experimentally licked at her folds, getting a few promising moans out of her. Feeling a bit emboldened, he dove into her pussy, lapping with the eagerness of one looking to please. Mitsuki knit her fingers into his hair, pushing him deeper into her depths as she hissed with pleasure. 

“Oh fuckkkk~~! Just like that, baby!” Mitsuki panted, her breath beginning to cloud in front of her face. “I’m close~ fuck!”

Mitsuki squinted all over Izuku’s face. Her love juice streamed down his neck, soaking the collar and shoulders of his shirt. She clung to his head, knees buckling as her orgasm overtook her. After a few seconds she regained her strength and stepped back.

Izuku’s face was a deep crimson. His breaths came in quick and shallow, his eyes unfocused and hazy. He wiped his face with a hand, savoring the taste of Mitsuki’s honey. He licked his fingers clean, seemingly out of it until Mitsuki spoke.

“How do I taste, bottom?”

“Delicious.”

“Good~. Now take off your clothes and show me what you’ve got~.”

Izuku obeyed, peeling off his soaked jacket and shirt. His pants and underwear followed soon afterward, leaving him naked as the day he was born before her. 

“Oh my~. You’ve been hiding this physique under those baggy clothes?”

“W-Well, I d-don’t really want to call attention to m-myself,” Izuku explained sheepishly. 

Mitsuki snorted. “So this is what Inko meant by you being oblivious. HA!”

“Can we not mention my mom right now?!”

“Why, you worried about her reaction to her son banging her best friend?”

“M-Mitsuki!”

The MILF cackled with delight as he turned a deeper shade of crimson. “God, you’re so easy to tease!”

Izuku responded with an embarrassed groan.

“Alright, I’m sorry,” Mitsuki relented. “How about I make it up to you with these babies?”

She pulled her shirt off, releasing her breasts from their prison. The perky mounds bounced against her chest, causing a loud, meaty slap to echo through the room. Izuku’s eyes opened wide as saucers. His brain short-circuted, replaced only with one thought.

“B-Booba.”

“Like what you see, huh? Go lay on the bed and I’ll show you how they feel~.”

Izuku sat down on his bed, completely enthralled by Mitsuki’s breasts. She laughed as she wrapped them around his member. He grit his teeth, not sure how to process the sensations he was receiving. 

“Does it feel good, Izuku?”

“Y-Yes…!”

“Well get ready, because I’m about to blow your mind.”

She began to move her breasts up and down his length, extending her tongue to encircle his glans. Izuku’s nervous system went into pleasure shock, trying and failing to comprehend the dual sensations of softness and pleasure that was quickly overwhelming.

Mitsuki already knew what was coming. Having been around the block several times in high school and college, she recognized almost every sign of an impending orgasm. She smugly congradulated herself and took the head of his cock into her mouth, humming as she did so.

Izuku’s knuckles turned white as they gripped the bedsheets, his toes curled, and he exploded into Mitsuki’s mouth. She took it like a champ, easily swallowing his load with each pulse through his member. Izuku’s gruttaral breathing was music to her ears as she continued to suck, even after his orgasm had passed.

“Mitsuki, I’m still sensitive--” 

He let out another moan as Mitsuki coaxed another load by taking his length into her mouth. She pressed her nose against his pubic bone as she swallowed again. Slowly and sensetionally, she pulled off his cock, letting it escape from her mouth with a pop.

“How was that, I~zu~ku~?”

A breathless, pitiful sound of Izuku’s soul leaving his body was all she got in return. She then grabbed his ankles, raising his legs and hips above his chest. She straddled his hips and lined her pussy with her cock. A feral smile crossed her face, and Izuku felt simultaneously aroused and terrified.

“Get ready, baby. I’m about to pound your pelvis into dust.”

She began bouncing with a breakneck pace, letting out animalistic grunts. Every union of their hips created a loud meaty plap that echoed through the room, accompanied by the pleasure-filled whines of Izuku as he was pressed into the mattress by the blond blondshell of a MILF.

“Nice cock, Izuku. I can feel you twitching around like crazy inside of me!” Mitsuki exclaimed with manic energy. “Trying to put a baby or two in me?”

She stopped suddenly, feeling a new sensation within her.

“Did you just get harder?”

Izuku’s hands covered his face in embarrassment. 

“So the idea of giving my brat a sibling or two turns you on, huh? Let’s get practicing then!”

Mitsuki started moving again, this time with a harder and faster approach. “I know you’re close! Give it to me! Give me your babies, you green bean stud!”

Izuku came with a primal roar, flooding Mitsuki’s pussy with his cum. She screamed with estacy as she orgasmed as well, the sound spilling out of the room into the hallway. Some of Izuku’s dormmates paused and looked over to the door of his room before wisely deciding to move on.

The lovers collapsed into a sweaty pile of limbs and kisses as Ochako orgasmed herself. She watched for a few seconds before sighing and standing on unsteady legs. SHe made her way over to the bed and smiled.

“Room for one more?”

Chapter Text

When Izuku woke up, Mitsuki was still clinging to him. He tried to move out of her grasp, only for the motion to backfire when she hugged him closer. “No, five more minutes…”

“M-Mitsuki, I have to be at the class breakfast in 15 minutes, I’m already late!”

Mitsuki huffed in her sleep.

“I’ll come see you later, okay? Right now I gotta get going.”

She huffed again and reluctantly let go of Izuku’s arm, allowing him to hurry out of bed and get dressed. “I’ll see you when I’m not participating in the festival, okay?

[and black screen go…..NOW]

[and black screen go…..NOW]

[and black screen go…..Who am I kidding it’s gonna be a while]

[black screen go now?]

[I SAW COLOR]

[ah yes we have advanced from the infinite void to the blur dimension]

[I believe that’s called waking up]

Izuku rubbed his eyes to clear up the flashbang he had gotten from the sun as he left his room. Now knowing where his bearings were, he raced down the hall. He was ambushed by Ochako, who caught him in a big hug.

“Did you enjoy your time with Mitsuki, Deku?” she purred, Cheshire grin and all.

“I… um… you see…”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Now eat up! The Sports Festival starts soon!”

Izuku scarfed down his breakfast, following the rest of his class to the changing rooms. He was nervous, and rightfully so. It had only been a few weeks since the USJ incident, and many of the faculty and student body were nervous about the potential consequences of holding a school event so close to a villain attack.

Ultimately Nedzu had decided that it would be good for morale, and like 99% of things the rat spoke about, he was correct. Izuku followed his class out of the changing room into the sports arena, and the cheers of the crowd deafened him. There were a lot of people here. More than he would’ve expected. Then again, UA was the most renown hero university in the country.

[HOLY SHIT]

[is this the goddamned coliseum]

[might as well be]

[daggum]

[shoot dang]

[insert clever exclamation here]

“HEY THERE LISTENERS! IT’S YA BOI, PRESENT MIC, COMING AT YOU LIVE FROM THE UA SPORTS FESTIVAL!!!”

The crowd roared in excitement, getting hyped up for the first event. Present Mic smiled from his announcement box at the top of the stadium, practically boiling with energy.

“FIRST, WE HAVE THE ASPIRING HEROES WHO SURVIVED A VILLAIN UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF THEIR CLASSMATE! YOU ALL KNOW WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT!”

“THE FIRST YEARS OF THE HERO COURSE!”

“IT’S CLASS A!!!”

 Izuku squinted against the bright lights of the stadium. The noise was deafening, and he was used to Kacchan screaming about he was the greatest hero student for hours on end.

“FOLLOWED BY CLASSES B, AND THEN CLASSES C, D, AND E OF GENERAL STUDIES!”

The other classes filled the arena, the roar of the crowd never diminishing.

“AND OUR FRIENDS FROM THE SUPPORT COURSE, CLASSES F, G, AND H! FOLLOWED BY THE BUSINESS COURSE!”

Momo led the class to a large platform in the center of the stadium, where Nemuri was waiting, her trademark sadistic smirk on her face. The students separated by class, eager to begin.

“AND THE REF FOR THE FIRST YEARS THIS YEAR IS--”

Nemuri cracked her riding crop and smirked, waving to the crowd and blowing a kiss at Rumi, who blushed.

“THE R-RATED HERO, MIDNIGHT!” The crowd burst into applause and whistles. 

She let it go on for about two seconds, then snapped the crop. “SHUT IT!”

The crowd immediately silenced. That was when people in the audience realized that her dominatrix outfit wasn’t just for show. Several people in the audience had to clean their pants after they heard her speak.

[nutted]

[L, rip bozo]

[thems fighting words]

“Pipe down. Your student representative will be Izuku Midoriya, from Class 1-A. He placed top in this year’s entrance exam alongside his classmate Ochako Uraraka. He will be delivering the Athlete’s Oath, so give him your attention, alright?”

“Wait what?” Izuku squeaked as his classmates cheered him on. “I thought Yaoyorozu-san--”

“I nominated you, Midoriya,” Momo replied. “I may be the class representative, but I think you should do it.”

“While I’m grateful for the honor, I wish I knew beforehand!”

“Point taken. You did memorize it anyway, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Then go get em, tiger!” Ochako encouraged him.

“Show ‘em what 1-A is made of, Deku!” Katsuki growled. “We both know that it’s better you than me!”

“Yeah! Go do us proud, Midori!” Mina cheered. Her encouraging words spread through the class, and Izuku began to melt under their smiles.

“You guys…” he sniffled, making his way up to the stage alongside Nemuri. She gave him a smug smile and nodded. Izuku cheered his throat and stepped up the mic, speaking nervously into it. “Is this on?”

A resounding cheer greeted him.

“Thank you, sensei. Now, let me begin by thanking all of you for coming out to see our classes compete. It means a lot to us, and it gives us to demonstrate what we’ve learned in our month or so of hero training. Thank you so much!

“I also want to thank everyone here at UA for giving us all this opportunity, especially all of my classmates and faculty. Thank you all.

“And lastly, I’d like to thank my mom, who unfortunately couldn’t make it here today but I’m sure she’s watching right now. Hi Mom!”

Back at the Midoriya residence, Inko sobbed happily. “Hello, my beautiful baby boy…”

“Now, today is a day that is very important to all of us here at UA. It’s a day of competition, and not just against rivals, but friends and loved ones as well.” 

“Today is your day to show the world who you are, quirkless or not.”

“Today is your day to strive toward your goals and take them in hand.”

“Today is your day to shine, to sparkle, to take the spotlight and show the world who you are meant to be, no matter what your quirk is or even if you have one.”

“Today is your day to go beyond your limits and reach for the stars above. GO BEYOND!”

The entire stadium rippled with the response.

“PLUS ULTRA!!!”

Izuku beamed, holding back tears before rejoining his class, cheers following all the way.

[hell yeah!]

[look at our favorite green bean everyone!]

[speech 100]

[he might be a strength build but the charisma in him fr]

Seventh: [Nice work, Ninth. Now let’s see how you’ve improved!]

First: [He did follow your training regiment after Miruko kicked his ass.]

BattleBunny: [it was only the one time!]

BattleBunny: [well… maybe twice… or five times…]

Bathory: [recovery girl still won’t let her hear the end of it]

[considering the beating izuku took i’m not surprised]

Nemuri cracked her whip, getting the crowd’s attention. “Alright, without further delay, let’s start the first event.”

The billboard behind her began to spin, cycling through many events before coming to a stop.

“Looks like an obstacle race. Rules are simple; anything goes, just stay in the borders.”

The classes stared in disbelief as the wall next to them began to split open, revealing a gated raceway. The light on the top flashed turned red, then flashed a few times.

[the fuck is this, mario kart?]

[aeiou where my boi lakitu at?]

[if there’s item boxes i swear to god]

The light flickered to yellow, with every student in each class kneeling in a sprinter’s starting position.

[oh boi]

[let’s do this]

Gork/Mork: [‘iz bootz iz red. red makez fings go fasta!]

[what kind of playground logic is that?]

[i think you just answered your own question]

Izuku watched the starting light, every muscle in his body primed and ready to launch into a sprint. Behind him, the rest of 1-A prepared for the chaos that was sure to follow. Iida stretched his calves, Katsuki crackled his palms, Todoroki stood silently, and Momo was already unbuttoning her uniform top.

The light turned green, and with a crack of her whip, Nemuri sang “GO!!!” and the race was on! Izuku leapt forward, out of the corner of his eye he watched as Todoroki began to lower his hand to the ground.

“Oh crapbaskets.”

A thin sheet of ice flash-froze 75 percent of the contestants to the ground. Those who had been paying attention or were already in motion barely avoided Todoroki’s sudden entry hazard. Izuku was frozen to the ground, unable to move his feet.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT CHEAP TACTIC, ICY HOT?!” Katsuki raged. 

Todoroki ignored him and began to stake forward, ignoring the protests of the other contestants.

“AND SHOTO TODOROKI FREEZES THE COMPETITION WITH HIS ICY GAZE, STEALING FIRST WITHOUT ANY REMORSE! WATCH OUT LADIES, THIS ICE-COLD PRINCE MIGHT MELT YOUR HEART!”

The sound of a motorcycle revving distracted the rest of the contestants. They turned and watched in disbelief as Momo drove across the ice and stopped by Kyoka, who had just managed to free herself from the ice. 1-A’s class rep extended her hand, offering it to the punk girl.

“Come with me if you want to win.”

“Hell yeah, Momo!” Kyoka cheered. She climbed onto the motorcycle after Momo and held on as they sped off down the raceway.

One by one, the other contestants began to break out of the ice, which began to melt quickly under the summer heat. Katsuki tore free from the ice with a murderous rage, Iida streaked down the raceway, Ochako made herself weightless and propelled herself off another person to shoot across the way like a pink rocket. A girl with pink octopus like-hair laughed manically as the harness she was wearing transformed into a jetpack and she was gone.

Everyone expect Izuku managed to free themselves, and soon he found himself as the last person at the start. He was absolutely distraught. Now in dead last, how was he going to catch up with everyone when they were already miles ahead!

Todoroki froze a modified Zero Pointer, sliding up and around it to gain momentum before sliding over the rope-bridged chasm that lay behind the robot trap, and the minefield that followed. Katsuki was a close second, screaming bloody murder as Momo and Kyoka closed the gap, followed closely by Iida and Ochako.

[oh no]

[that fucking popsicle boy better hope he has good insurance]

[dude, we are not threatening violence on endeavor’s kid!]

WitherSkeleton: [why not? Sounds good to me--] used timed out 400 secs.

GBSBot: [Excuse me while I tip off the police for a moment.]

[what?!]

[forget him, the ice is melted!]

[go izuku go!]

Izuku pulled his cold wet feet out of he slushy mess Todoroki had trapped him in. He looked back at the raceway and noted that the top five were already about a third of the way over the minefield, and he fell to his knees. 

“OH! YAOYOROZU AND JIROU HAVE PULLED AHEAD OF TODOROKI, BUT WATCH OUT! IIDA IS CLOSING FAST!” Present Mic’s voice echoed. 

[izuku, you have to get up]

[get up, izuku!]

[we believe in you!]

“I appreciate it guys, but how am I going to get there without being eliminated?” he sobbed. “It’d take a miracle to pull something!”

A chunk of a Zero Pointer landed not far from him, still smoking from Katsuki’s explosions.

[uh okay everyone think!]

[what do we do]

[lie down and wait for it to be over?]

[besides that, you moron!]

First: [Wait a minute…]

Sixth: [What are you planning now, First?]

First: [Shut up, I’m thinking. You see that hunk of metal over there?]

Seventh: [The Zero Pointer? Yeah, why?]

Third: [Oh, I think I know what’s happening.]

First: [Yeah that’s right. Ninth!]

“Yeah?” Izuku sniffled. 

First: [You ever watch Super Mario 64 speedruns?]

[my boy about to become tool assisted]

“Yes, actually. What does that have to do with…” he trailed off, looking over at the piece of the Zero pointer before his eyes went wide. “You’re kidding me.”

First: [As much as I am a bullshitter and memer, I am not kidding. Get hopping, we’ll do the rest!]

“I’m not sure if you’re crazy or a genius.”

Fourth: [You’d be surprised how often those two traits overlap. Get hopping!]

Izuku walked up to the chuck of the Zero Pointer and turned around, crouching. Despite how stupid he felt doing this or his own wavering belief in the First’s crazy idea, he was going to give it a shot. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Inhale, exhale.

Then he long-jumped backward.

“AND THE RACES HAE MADE IT TWO THIRDS OF THE WAY OVER THE MINEFIELD! IIDA HAS OVERTAKEN TODOROKI, BAKUGO, YAOYOROZU, AND JIROU! HE’S GUNNING IT FOR THE FINISH LINE!”

[you’re kidding me]

[the crazy idea is to long jump backward?! this isn’t a video game!]

[just shut up and watch1 it’s working somehow!]

“Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo!” Izuku chanted, jumping backwards into the chunk of the Zero Pointer. Slowly, he gained momentum, his movements becoming faster and faster. “Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! YAYAYAYAYAYAYA---”

Present Mic suddenly became aware of what was going on at the front.

“WHAT’S THAT? MIDORIYA IS-- WHAT IS HE DOING? IS THAT-- IS HE BACKWARDS LONG JUMPING?!”

“YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAHOOOO!!!” Izuku screamed, releasing all his built up momentum. He punched straight through the Zero-Pointer chunk, moving so fast that the cameras could only register him as a brief green blur before he disappeared from sight. He streaked across the raceway, blitzing past his fellow contestants. Minerva screamed as Izuku flew by, knocking her over with the pressure wave.

Katsuki looked over his shoulder, eyes widening in disbelief as Izuku’s back quickly approached him. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

He blinked, and Izuku was already ahead of him, that pink octopus hair girl, Ochako, Momo, and Kyoka, and was rapidly closing the distance with Iida. The blue boy looked over his shoulder and nearly had a heart attack as Izuku catapulted ahead him, swiping first place and crossing the finish line. 

Iida crossed it a second later, with the others trickling in. They were all in shock as they processed what had just happened, and then they realized that Izuku wasn’t in at the finish. 

“OH MY GOD! MIDORIYA, BY SOME STRANGE STROKE OF LUCK, HAS WON HIMSELF FIRST PLACE IN THE OBSTABCLE COURSE AND IMBEDDED HIMSELF IN THE STADIUM WALL AT THE SAME TIME! NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE!”

“Ow…” Izuku groaned, pulling himself out of the padded wall. 

Ochako and Katsuki were all over him in an instant. 

“Deku, what the fuck was that?!” Katsuki demanded. “You couldn’t do that before!”

“I know, and I don’t think I can do it again…”

“Why not?” Ochako asked. 

“I broke my legs…” Izuku whimpered.

They looked down and gasped, seeing the mangled mess that used to be Izuku’s legs and rushed him to Recovery Girl, all while the crowd cheered.

“You reckless little bean, I swear…” Recovery Girl muttered, kissing Izuku on the check. “You’ll be out for about 10 minutes. The second event should be ready by then.”

“Okay…” Izuku yawned, falling asleep.

First: [Okay I wasn’t entirely sure that would work but we’re not doing that again, not for a while.]

[WHADDYA MEAN YOU WEREN’T SURE IT WOULD WORK]

[hey at least izuku won the race]

[winner winner katsudon dinner :pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

[:pog:]

Chapter Text

“Your grandmother and I took a look at the exoskeleton, and aside from a few superficial nicks, we think it's ready for the second event!”

“Your design is top-notch, Mei.”

Mei Hatsume grinned widely at the two pink haired women in front of her, crushing them both in a hug. “Thank you thank you thank you! I took some of the suggestions you both gave me and they worked!”

The women smiled warmly. The first looked to be like an older Mei, dressed in mechanic's overalls and an oil stained T-shirt. Her pink tube-like hair was cut shorter than Mei's, only reaching to the base of her skull, and her pink eyes were permanent spirals. She wore a red sweatband, and stress lines accented her face. The second also has pink hair, but it was longer, reaching down to her shoulders and accented with grey hairs. She wore a fannel shirt with the first two buttons undone, exposing a fair amount of her cleavage, along with short shorts and a baseball cap. She showed signs of being much older than the younger Hatsumes, and yet still had the same energy level as her granddaughter. 

“Sometimes it pays to have a second pair of eyes, right Mei?” The younger of the two women asked.

“Yep! Thanks so much for the rewiring of the power source! It increased the efficiency by 145 percent!”

“Great job, Kanshi!” The eldest Hatsume cheered, patting her daughter on the back.

“I wouldn't have been much help if you hadn't taught me everything I know, Mom,” Kanshi refuted. “Besides, the reinforced hydraulics were your idea.”

“Just call it a Michi Hatsume upgrade!” She laughed heartily, turning to her granddaughter. “Anyway, you get out there and knock their socks off, kiddo!”

“Sure thing, Grandma!” Mei cheered. “I'll make you both proud!”

She hurried off to the arena, leaving her mother and grandmother behind. 

“I'm so proud of her, but she's such a handful,” Kanshi sighed fondly.

“You know you love her for it,” Michi replied. “Let's get to our seats, I wanna see her kick some ass!”

“He's waking up!”

“Already?”

“Oh thank God!”

“Outta the way! Patient's mother coming through!”

“M-Mom? Mitsuki…?” Izuku groaned. His eyes fluttered open to see Inko, Ochako, Himiko, Mitsuki, and Recovery Girl all standing around him. “I--”

Inko crushed her son in a hug. “You're okay. That's all that matters.”

She pulled back and smiled, tears in her eyes. “I would tell you to be careful, but I know you're just trying your best.”

[Awww]

[some mother son bonding time]

[you love to see it]

[hell yeah]

Recovery Girl cleared her throat. “I hate to interrupt such a touching moment, but Midoriya, you need to be more careful. Next time I'm not sure if you'll wake up.”

Izuku paled. “How long was I out?”

“Surprisingly, only 20 minutes. The break between events is half an hour, so you have 10 minutes to go get prepared,” Recovery Girl replied. “I would save your strength for the third stage of the tournament, Midoriya.”

[You see him running, 5”6’, short, muscular ass hero. You step to him he’ll sick his covenant on you]

[you good man?]

[no]

“Alright,” Izuku replied, deciding to ignore the weirdness of his chat. “I'm ready.”

He stepped onto the floor on shaky legs, supported by Ochako and his mother. They lead him out of the nurse's office, and Mitsuki grinned. “Go get em, bunny!”

BattleBunny: [I take offense to that]

GLaDOS: [Disgusting. The assertive woman is almost hornier than this chat.]

[what did we do?!]

GBSBot: [What didn't you guys do?]

[I can think of a lot of things]

[do we really want to tempt fate rn]

[fair enough]

Izuku stepped into the afternoon sunlight, shielding his eyes as the crowd roared in cheers. Ochako flanked him, noting his uneasiness. 

“Are you okay, Deku?”

“Yeah… I guess I'm still a bit woozy.”

[weren't you in a coma like 10 minutes ago]

[I'm pretty sure intense exercise is the last thing he needs rn]

[Nah he'll be fine]

[source?]

[trust me bro]

“If you need to step out, that's okay,” Ochako assured. “You did break your legs.”

“I feel fine now.”

“Okay, but the second you feel off, tell me, or Toga, or your mom, or Recovery Girl. I don't want you to be permanently injured.”

Izuku looked up and felt very smol and protected as Ochako put her hand on his shoulder. His eyes warbled as he let out a small squeak. “O-Okay…”

[mommy? sorry, momm--] user timed out 400 secs.

GBSBot: [For fucks sake, people.]

Seventh: [I dunno man, are you seeing this right now? I like this vibe.]

GBSBot: [From the moment I understood the weakness of the flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for the Machine is immortal…]

GBSBot: […even in death I serve the Omnissiah.]

[Oh shit, we going full Mechanicus]

[...what the fuck just happened?]

[i think the bot just horny bonked a mod]

[...is that even possible?]

[ohnobro.mp4]

Ochako's gaze softened. “Let’s go kick some ass, Deku.”

He nodded and followed her to the center of the field, where Nemuri was tapping her foot impatiently. When she saw Izuku and Ochako, she licked her lips and purred. 

“Finally decided to join us, lovebirds? You left your poor teacher up here all by herself.”

“S-Sorry we took so long, Midnight-sensei,” Izuku stammered, trying to look at any part of his teacher that wouldn't give him a boner.

He failed.

The amount of barking coming from his chat wasn't helping either.

[ Sheeeeessshhh!!! ]

[AWOOGA]

[BARK BARK BARK BARK]

[PLEASE STEP ON ME]

GBSBot: [Y'all are down horrendous.]

[Be glad for your coded nature binaryboi]

“Um, just so you know, um--” Ochako blabbled, her nose bleeding. “I share.”

“I know~,” Nemuri purred, her voice smooth like honey. “But that can wait until later. The two of you have a festival to get through~.”

“WELCOME BACK TO THE U.A. SPORTS FESTIVAL!”

The crowd erupted into cheers at the sound of Present Mic's voice. He laughed at the sound of the crowd and smiled widely.

“HELLO EVERYONE! I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL BEEN EXCITED FOR THE NEXT EVENT, ESPECIALLY AFTER THAT FINALE IN THE OBSTACLE COURSE!”

[yahoo!]

[yahoo!]

[yahoo!]

[yahoo!]

[yayayayayayayahoooooo!]

[Guys help what do i do if there’s a 4ft italian man pinballing around my apartment who has already hit me twice]

[time sensitive question]

“ANYWHO, WE'LL NOW BE MOVING ON THE SECOND EVENT. MIDNIGHT, IF YOU PLEASE.”

Nemuri strode to a giant slot machine and pulled the handle, sending the slots into a blur of options. Izuku watched in wonder as the machine worked its magic.

[SPIN TO WIN]

[gambling is bad and you should seek help if you have problem]

[true that but SPINNNNNN]

[99% of gamblers quit before they win big]

“HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS FOLKS, THE SECOND EVENT IS…”

The machine slowed, then stopped, all three slots hitting the same image of a knight riding his steed into battle.

“A CAVARLY BATTLE! IT'S BEEN A WHILE SEEN WE'VE SEEN THIS EVENT. IT'S GOT ME JUST RARING TO GO!”

[Sex joke]

Present Mic cheered, and the crowd echoed him. Izuku's chat was also losing their minds.

[gonna take her on down to the old town road, gonna ride still she can't no more]

First: [How the hell do you know that song?]

First: [It's been 200 years! How do you know that song!]

[ye haw, chucklefuck]

[fuck you oklahoma you’re next]

First: [I understand how you feel now, En.]

Sixth: [Suffer with me.]

“NOW THAT WE HAVE OUR SECOND EVENT, I WILL THINGS OVER TO OUR LOVELY REFEREE, MIDNIGHT!”

“Thank you, Mic. So, there are forty of you left after the obstacle course race. You will divide yourselves into teams of two-to-four. The goal od this event is to steal the headbands of other teams to earn points. Each team's headband point value is equal to the total amount of points each contestant is worth. Each contestant is worth points depending to what place they got in the race. For example, last, or 40th place is worth a single point, 39th is two points, and so on. However, first place, which belongs to Izuku Midoriya, is worth 10 million points.”

Izuku suddenly felt every single student lock onto him. He paled and sputtered, “10 million points?!”

[bro just got a bounty put on him]

[five stars in gta lookin ass]

[RUN BITCH! RUNNNNN!!!]

[target acquired.]

SweetDreams: [Bottom sighted.]

[how did she type that, she doesn't even have her phone out?!?]

[don't question the power of horny cougars]

GBSBot: [I hate all of you.]

Midnight moved on. “You will have 10 minutes to acquire other team’s headbands. Once you have finalized your team, come see me and I will give you a headband. Oh, and quirks are fair game. As long as your rider/headband bearer doesn't touch the ground, you're still in the game. Show everyone what you're made of!”

Almost immediately, everyone broke into teams. Izuku looked over to Ochako, and she shrugged. 

“Et tu, Ochako?” 

“As much as I'd like to, I think I'd like the challenge of getting your headband.”

Izuku swallowed his anxiety and nodded, extending his hand out to Ochako. “Good luck.”

She smiled and walked off into the crowd, finding a team rather quickly. Izuku, on the other hand, was struggling. It seemed that everyone wanted his headband, but no one wanted to be part of his team.

Suddenly, a pink blur materialized in front of Izuku, revealing the pink octopus-haired girl with yellow eyes that seemed to zoom in on his face. “Hiya Muscles!”

[AH, Pink hair jumpscare!]

“Uh, hi?” Izuku greeted hesitantly. The girl was way too close for his liking. “Have we met?”

“Nope!”

“Oh. Well, hello, I'm Izuku Midoriya. I'm a first year in the hero course. It's a pleasure to meet you--”

“I'm Mei Hatsume of Hatsume Industries! I'm in the support course, and I'm here to show off my babies!”

“P-Pardon?”

“My babies!” Mei repeated, brandishing her mechanical backpack at him. “I was up all night working on them. Can you do me a favor?”

“Uh, sure?”

“Great! So, Muscles--”

“Midoriya,” Izuku corrected.

“Muscles, I'm going to need you to--”

“Excuse my interruption, but are you still looking for teammates, Midoriya?” Momo interrupted. 

Izuku looked over to see her walking her motorcycle over with Kyoka in tow, face impassive as ever. Mei's eyes immediately locked onto the motorcycle, then to Momo, and she gasped in excitement.

“You're the Factory Farm!”

Momo balked. “Excuse me?!”

Mei rushed forward, eyes gleaming. “Your quirk is amazing! Can you make theoretical materials like plasteel? How much material can you make and can I have some?!”

“Yes, I think so, it depends on my lipid, and only of you ask nicely.”

“Great!”

“Green, who is this?” Kyoka asked.

“I'm Mei Hatsume!” Mei cheered, shoving her chest into the punk girl's face. “Oooh you have earjack! I could make you a sonic amplifier device if you'd like!”

“Oi oi oi! What the hell do you think you're doing?!” Kyoka screeched. She pushed Mei away and brandished her jacks like knives. The inventor, on the other hand, was just as confused.

“Does that mean you don't want support gear from me?”

“Who said anything about support gear?!” 

“Hatsume, Kyoka,” Momo soothed, hugging her smaller girlfriend. Kyoka bristled, then calmed. She pulled back, a pout clear on her face. 

“Better?” Momo asked.

“...yes.” Kyoka admitted quietly.

Izuku awkwardly cleared his throat. “Yaoyorozu, Jirou, you want to be on my team as well?”

“We do.”

“Alright. I guess that makes four. I'll go tell Midnight-sensei.”

Izuku turned and headed to the central podium, noting that most of the other teams had already received their headbands. They all glared at hin like a prize deer, and he shivered.

“Feeling popular, Midoriya?” Nemuri teased.

“M-Midnight-sensei! I--”

She giggled. “You really are too easy to tease. You need more social interaction.”

The heroine pulled out a headband and a pen. “Who are your teammates?”

“Uh, Yaoyorozu, Jirou, and Hatsume.”

“Hmm. 5th, 6th, and 7th respectively. That gives them 35, 34, and 33 points. With your 10 million points that will grant your team with a total of 10 million, one hundred and two points. Here's your headband,” she said, handing him the band.

“Thank you, sensei.”

[damn she kinda bad tho]

[BARK BARK BARK BAR--] user timed out 400 secs

GBSBot: [How many times do I have to teach you this lesson chat?!]

[we never learn]

[We must stay focused my brothers]

“And this is my personal number,” Nemuri purred, pressing a folded note with a red kiss mark on it. “Give me a text sometime. Invite your girlfriends. It's more exciting that way~.”

[oh my god she didn't]

[she did]

[doesn't this break school rules]

[inb4 the allegations]

[weren't you all just barking for her a second ago?!]

[no more horny]

[this is a christian stream now, save it for marriage]

[:prayerhands:]

[:OMEGALUL:]

Izuku stepped down from the podium, his face bright red. He made his way over to his team and found Momo and Mei deep in conversation. 

“So if I made you these materials, you'd help me out with hero support gear for my entire class?”

“Yep! Your class will love my babies!”

“I'm sure they will.”

“Hello, you two,” Izuku greeted.

“Ah, Midoriya. You're just in time!”

“Factory Farm and I managed to come up with something you'll love!”

“Really? What is it? And where's Kyoka?”

“Coming back from recon,” the aforementioned punk said. “They want your headband, Green.”

[oh dear]

[this is going to be brutal]

[get your game face on Izuku]

[good luck]

[may the odds ever be in your favor]

[Just remember that lucky only gives you three rerolls so use em carefully]

Eighth: [I wish you the best of luck, Young Midoriya. I am proud of your growth and the hero you are becoming.]

Seventh: [We all are.]

Mamadoriya: [Show the world who you are, Izuku. Shine brightly like the emerald you are, my baby!]

Izuku sniffed at all the encouragement, tears of joy running down his face. “You guys…”

“I hate to break the touching moment, but we're about to start, Green,” Kyoka interjected. “C'mon. Lemme show you what Yaomomo and Hatsume cooked up.”

She led him over to the engineers and he cocked his head in confusion. “Are we allowed to use that bike?”

The bike had been modified to include a side car, allowing for two additional passengers. Mei was making some last minute adjustments to the dashboard, peaking Izuku’s interest.

“Midnight-sensei said as long as the headband bearer didn't touch the ground it was fair game, did she not?” Momo replied.

“She did, but--”

“Contestants! Please form your cavalry! The event starts in 10 seconds! 9!”

“No time to argue Muscles! Get in!” Mei urged, slamming the casing of the dashboard shut. A big red button was present, labeled “GO-GO GADGET PANIC BUTTON.” Izuku didn’t want to know what that did. Mei looked at him and smiled widely. “Don’t push that unless I tell you!”

“8!”

Izuku scrambled into the side car alongside Mei. Momo took the driver's seat with Kyoka climbing in behind her.

“7!”

[holy fuck man]

[this is so hype]

[PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT]

[it’s a sidecar, there probably isn’t one]

[it has car in the name, surely it has one. I should know, I car good]

“6!”

[oh god it's happening]

[everyone stay calm]

[STAY FUCKING CALM]

“5!”

In the stands, Inko nervously gripped Mitsuki’s hand. The Bakugo patted her friend's shoulder and sighed. “He'll be fine, Inko.”

“4!”

“I know, but I can't help but be nervous! He's my baby!”

“3!”

Kanshi and Michi zoomed in on Mei, grins wide. The eldest cheered, “Go get ‘em, kiddo!” 

“2!”

[here we go!]

[POG]

[OPEN THE GAME!!!]

“1!”

Izuku took a deep breath.