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Chapter Text

The grind of wheels on poorly paved asphalt. The scent of cheap beer and even cheaper cigarettes. The muck and grime of dirt and dust kicked up, stagnant in the air and clinging to clothes, to every drop of sweat that breaks out on skin. Screams and shouts- rancorous and drowning all other sounds even the music that blare over massive speakers.
This is S. This is a small oasis in a world of rule and order. An Eden for skaters, a paradise. A place to put everything on the line and chase the wind.

At least, that’s what it used to feel like. The palm of your hand is calloused, so many falls and scrapes long having thickened the skin till now you relied on the rough patch of flesh to catch you when you stumbled. Scars litter your legs, unsightly, so many pairs of jeans broken and bloody with scabs and scars overlapping till now you cracked them on pavement and felt numb to it. The smell of S doesn’t catch your nose anymore, and the mocking laughter when you bailed out doesn’t sting like it used to.

Women don’t skate, women stand to the side and look pretty. They wave flags and cheer on the top skaters and offer themselves up to whoever wins that week’s beef. You don’t listen to them, to the snide remarks or the mocking laughter when you make a mistake and it costs you the cash you do win. You’re here. You’re skating, you chase the wind and race it down until you feel it kiss your back, caress your face like a lover before you stop at the end where factory lights blare down and bleed colors into one another.

Tonight, the man you raced cursed you out, shoving five thousand yen into you open palm before he storms away, two women rushing to his side to stroke his ego, the pair of them giving you looks. It’s nothing personal, but it was also too personal. They didn’t like a female skater in the sense they saw competition, but they also didn’t mess with you because you never responded to any guy’s challenge when the prize was you.

Just so-

“Hey there Angel.” Joe was one of the guys that never took a hint. Or rather, he knew very well you’d never agree to a date from losing a beef; but, you did agree to a fair number of his other challenges as a measure of testing one another. You always were up for spare cash, and Joe wasn’t exactly stingy when it came to you.

“Joe.” You kicked up your board, the neon underside glowing under the colored fluorescents.

“Will you accept my usual challenge?” He knew the answer but he always asked. It was routine now. But once you said no, that conversation was done for the night.

“No.” Your board tucked under your arm, you made your way past the crowd, Joe trailing behind you, a few girls rolling their eyes at the sight. You weren’t a threat to them, and Joe was the man who never kept a girl longer than a few nights at best.

“Alright then- how about the other usual? Five.” Another five thousand yen would be a nice chunk of change to go home with, but-

“And get my ass kicked? I just ran one beef Joe, I’m not about to do another against one of the big 3.” He winced when you called him one of the Big three. He always did, and you knew exactly why. His antagonistic relationship with not just Cherry but ADAM as well was pretty much the worst kept secret at S.

And that was saying something.

“How about tomorrow night then. Just one. It’s been a few weeks since we faced off.”

“It’s been just over one week Joe.”

“A week too long then Angel.”

“Not long enough if you ask me.” It was all good natured ribbing- Joe might have been a terrible flirt, but he was one of the few guys that took his beefs seriously, your included. Very much the playboy mask, he was vicious when he got into it, your last beef with him having the man ricochet off one of the rocks in order to gain a lead on you. Cherry’s nickname for him was somewhat accurate in the respect, Joe was built and he had too much muscle for your average skater.

Shouts and cheers roared from the top of the track, and a cursory view to your phone told you who was up. Shadow and Reki, a new kid. You almost pitied the red head as you watched him take off, no doubt thinking he’d be able to shake of Shadows just above criminal tactics.

Laser pointers were a bitch in the eyes.

“New meat huh?” Joe’s form loomed over your own, the heat of his body present and felt.

“Looks like it.” The pair of you stood in silence to the side of the track, watching as ‘Reki’ closed the gap between himself and the glamrock skater. “He’s not bad.”

“Yeah but he’s got a way to go. Keeps putting too much of his weight on his backfoot.”

“You noticed it too then?”

“Yeah.” Joe sighed and you both looked to the track just in time to see Shadow pull out some firecrackers and launch them into the path of the poor newbie skater. “Kid’s got skill but-“

And there it was. The crash had you flinch. The track at S wasn’t kind by any definition, and even the bushes were primed to hurt. Craggy prickly things. Kid was going to be nursing something by tomorrow.

“Skills mean shit when your balance isn’t up to snuff.” Joe finished, a beefy arm suddenly around your shoulder. Unwelcome, you ducked out of his touch, scowling at him while he grinned.

“Dang, was hoping we might cuddle a bit closer.” Your scowling got the point across however and the man bowed his head. “Alright, uncalled for. But you really should try not being so cold. You’re not going to make friends that way.”

“I don’t come here to make friends Joe.” You huffed, resuming your trek back up the hill, Joe close behind. “I came here to skate.”

“That can’t be the only reason you’re at S. I mean, even I have a reason for coming here and not some park.” True, but Joe was edging into dangerous waters, as personal lives. You just didn’t talk about them at S. It was too real, and S prided itself on being an escape from that.

“Sorry.” His voice was softer, the tone he used with you on occasion when he knew he’d overstepped the very rocky foundation your comradery was built on. “Too personal-”

“Did you know that ADAM is my fiancé?” You say, blasé, as if it was nothing. Turning the shock on Joe’s face is almost comical, but then it turns from shock to an almost malicious expression.

“That’s not funny.”

“No, it really isn’t.”

For a few seconds, the two of you stand on the side of the track, saying nothing before Joe breaks the tense air.
“Shit, you’re not joking.”

“I’m not known to do so.”

“You and-“

“Yeah.” You look at your board, the neon letters vivid. ‘FREESTYLE’ in bold graffiti style, a backdrop of a blue sky and silver clouds. A small rebellion, one which ADAM thought distasteful. He thought you should be more grandiose. More like him- seeking a thrill and challenge, not holding yourself back because of fear.

You hardly called falling two stories off a track something to not be afraid of or something that would never affect your skating, but, here you were. Once able to race Ainosuke and keep up with him and his reckless moves, now you barely could hold your own against Joe.

“Shit.” Joe ran his hands through his hair and you jerked your head towards a small cropping of trees, enough coverage to keep you out of direct sight, but not hiding. There were enough rumors of you and male skaters, you and Joe were the last one you wanted to hear about. The man did get the hint, and went for the trees first you following, staying within view of a few other skaters, back to Joe as you spoke.

“It’s not something he likes people knowing about- And before you ask- it’s arraigned. Our families decided back in elementary.”

“He the one who got you into skating?”

That is a loaded question, one that begs an answer so you entertain it. “Back then it made him happy. We both had something forbidden between us. At one point I thought it might actually work out.” You shrug, and Joe moves rustling the bush he stepped over to hide in the shadow while you stand in the light.

“I know between you, him, and Cherry there is some history but I won’t pry. He never told me much about his personal life. But he changed. He got… reckless. He kept chasing something, and for a while I could keep up.” Your board taps your leg and you smile in spite of the topic. “Was run two stories off a track by some rando. Broken wrist and nearly shattered my leg. Shook me up so bad I couldn’t race like I used to. Aino- ADAM didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact I couldn’t keep up with him anymore.”

Joe is quite until he’s not. “You always skate like you know what to do but you just wont. Explains why.”

“My fear gets in the way. That’s why I skate at S. Until I’m back to how I used to be, things won’t work out between me and ADAM.”

“You can’t break it off?”

“ADAM… Let’s just say neither of us have a choice in the matter. At this point I’d rather have a tolerable marriage than a shitty one.”

“It’s ADAM.”

“I know.” Again, cold silence before Joe stepped into the light.

“Date me.” His face wasn’t the same carefree one you knew, this was Joe’s face when he took a beef seriously, this was the face he made when you got ahead of him and he was forced to pull out his tricks to out gun you. “And no- I’m not joking. Go on a date with me.”

You gave him and incredulous look. “Why? ADAM won’t care-“

“Because you deserve better than him.” Joe scowled. “Look, we barely know anything about each other outside of S but- even I know enough about you to know you’re a good person, better than that asshole deserves.” Joe was a flirt, and every time he asked you out it wasn’t so much genuine as was expected of him. But this? This was genuine. This was Joe asking. Not betting, not seeking an advantage-

“No.” You felt the heat in your cheeks as you denied him, seeing his face contort with confusion. “I don’t want a pity date.” You started walking away, tossing your board on the ground to escape the now awkward situation. “I’ll go on a date once you give me a real reason to.” You don’t think he’ll come up with one. Joe may be nice and a genuinely decent guy, but he’s not the brightest when it came to romance. Ainosuke was your fiancé, end of story. Unless you fucked up big time, his aunties would never let your family call off the marriage. Nor your parents, the damn ex-Diet kissups they were.

Sadly for you, some asshole recorded you and Joe- and while nothing could be heard over the screams and cheers of S, the scene looked very much like a ‘lovers spat’. In less than a day, the rumor was out and about all over the boards online.

It took only a few hours before you go the phone call.

“You’ve been having fun Angel?”

So much for ADAM not caring.

Chapter Text

The stifling aroma of expensive perfume was not helping you focus on the matter at hand. Starch white cotton napkin in lap, forks and knives sat untouched on the table, a true European dining restaurant with nary a chopstick to be found. The sun came though too clean windows and cast the room in a bright light that most places wouldn’t get midday this deep in the city. Then again, few restaurants were on the 98th floor of an executive building and had a reservation list three months out. Which was really, what made it worse in how woefully under prepared you were for the whole situation despite knowing what to expect.

Ainosuke sat perfectly relaxed across from you in his blue suit and pink tie, while you in your pale yellow sundress couldn’t help but feel like worms were crawling in your too expensive shoes- shoes you only wore because they gave an inch of height, and one time, he’d said he liked them. Now, you wondered if he even noticed.

“Relax.” Picking up the menu he held it out, an olive branch. With a sigh you took it, eyes roving over a menu you knew by heart. “This is just our usual date.” He was so polite it made you want to slap him.

Every three months since you were 15, Ainosuke and you would dress up and come to this exact restaurant for a ‘date’. Back then, it had been to get you and he to become more amiable to your inevitable wedding. Now, it was just a reminder that despite you both being gown adult, you both were still stuck in the same potion you’d been in as teenagers- right under the pressing thumb of your families.

Back then you’d bonded and spoken of faking it, of pretending and secretly rebelling, skating in the dark and meeting up to race down hills and tracks.
Meeting up to share too chaste kisses and hands intertwined.

“You say that like you didn’t call me beforehand and ask what I was going to wear and whatnot.” For the last few years since your accident Ainosuke never called unless there was something he wanted to press you on. This time, you both knew what it was, but until he asked you were not going to bring it up. Not just because you both were petty, but because you wanted Ainosuke to stew in it. That you’d dare even talk to someone else and give them the time of day.

If you knew him, Ainosuke was a man that liked owning his claim and keeping what he considered his as his own. Born from having not autonomy as a kid, now he saw anything as his as HIS. You included. Still, you were petty, and since your accident had learned while he wasn’t interested in you romantically, he still was a man, and you were his fiancé, which carried certain expectations.

Under the table your foot went over, brushing his calf and you smiled when he stiffened. Dragging it up, you teased him, smiling like you knew he wasn’t above grabbing it to stop you, like he didn’t actually like it. For all the distance between the both of you, Ainosuke was still a good fuck.

“You’re wearing the heels I like.” He remarked, hands reaching over, running to drag his fingers over your own. “That pretty yellow dress,” Your smile was coy as you dragged your foot under the table higher. “The pearl necklace,” licking his lips, his eyes focused briefly on your cleavage as your foot finally reached it’s destination, lightly rubbing against his crotch, earning a low groan from your fiancé. Then like a trigger, his hand shot down, grabbing your ankle from under the table in an iron clad grip. Not playful-painful. His eyes cold and hard, you winced as he pushed it, you, away.

“Did you act this slutty at S too?” And there it was. Despite all his airs, in the end he was a prick. Your prick, but a prick none the less.
“You saw the video. It’s not like you don’t stalk me while I’m there through your cameras.” You huff at him, ready to throw napkin in his face and storm out. Let the media eat that. But the reprimand you’d earn wouldn’t be worth it. Ainosuke had beatings as a kid- you were no different. Now grown, they just locked you away like a doll. Hard to beat someone up when they could fight back after all.

“I don’t see your dog around. He off playing fetch?” A lie, Tasadhi was never far and you knew it.

“I don’t know, where is your gorilla?” Your head snaps his direction as he says it and you wince as you realize that was a bit too much to let him know. You liked Joe- he was a decent guy, and while the ribbing between him and Cherry was just that, hearing Cherry’s insult for Joe coming from Ainosuke was wrong.

“He’s not my anything.”

“Your reaction tells different.” There was always something people never got at S when it came to ‘ADAM’. The man was a master manipulator, he was a connoisseur of inflicting pain and a sadist when it came to fear play. What they saw was a man without fear, a man who’d drive you to the brink. But the reaity was just that ADAM, Ainosuke, was raised that way. To read people like books and to play the cards he got just the way he liked.

“A reminder Angel.” His lifts his white wine glass and swirls it before taking a drink as if the date were going smoothly, (it never does), “You’re my fiancé. If I find out you’re been sniffing after Joe or the others-“

“I don’t sniff around- If anything they come after me. You know the types of beefs I race ADAM,” You like the way he scowls when you call him by his S name, it makes him human, it cuts his mask and it feels oh so good when it cracks.
“You know the shit I put up with.”

“Then quit.” You glare at him, knowing damn well you couldn’t if you tried. Skating, S, was your last, your only hope in getting back Ainosuke’s respect and favor. He knows it too. To him, until you get back your wings, you’re a dead dove. Not something he wants, not something he thinks worth his energy.

“You wouldn’t let me.” You bite back, lacking the heat you wish was there. It always hurts like this. It always hurts knowing he won’t see you as anything until you can race him again, until you’re back on his level and unafraid. It hurts, knowing once you and him had sat under the stars and whispered dreams of skating in Cali, running away from your families, your futures, just to feel the wind and be free. It hurts, because back than you think Ainosuke really had loved you back then.

“No.” He flags down a waiter. “Not until you’re my EVE.” The rest of the date is relatively silent. You order the same thing you always do. A salad with strawberries and walnuts. The tastiest thing your family would permit in public. Ainosuke got a braised herb chicken with balsamic vegetables. For dessert a fruit tart for you, chocolate cake for him, your favorite. A childish taunt, but one he did when you knew he wasn’t pleased with you.

It still didn’t stop the two of you from fucking off the side of the road in the backseat of his car.

He always got like this you reasoned. One look at you and another man and he’d act like he wanted you again, like he could be good to you again if you just tried harder. It was abusive relationship one oh one. Still part of you had long grown numb to it. As you climbed into his lap, pulling panties down your legs to press wet slick core to his already bare cock, you moaned like you were still 17, thinking how being married to him might not be so bad.

Ainosuke hated it when men looked your way, hated that you’d take with them, give them the time of day, he hated it because in the end you were his fiancé. His future wife. The only woman he was allowed to consider, the only one who would marry him and know about his secrets because he held your own.

The drag of his cock against your slit felt good. Hot skin to skin, you shivered when he grabbed your ass, pulling your body up before he dragged you down, making you mewl as he sheathed himself in your wet heat.

Ainosuke taught you freedom- what it felt like to have the wind in your hair, to race and feel blood pulsing in your veins. He taught you what it tasted like- and when you’d been a kid, so desperate for anything to call your own, his gift of a secret skateboard was more precious than any gem. Hips rocked as he fucked you like he owned you. Hands at you ass, lifting, pulling back down to take him at the root, the tip kissing the deepest parts of you, a fear of pregnancy, of being forced down an aisle too early, of scandal.

His mouth was hot on your own as he kissed you, teeth and tongue tugging at your lower lip, leaving it puffy and red. The hazy look on your face when he fucked you was one of his favorites he confessed once. He loved fucking you through it, making you cry out and collapse unable to stay upright from orgasm. He kept fucking you, biting back his release, sending you into overstimulation, making your whine and push away from him just to be dragged back.

He loved it when you started to cry and begged him to stop. He loved it he said, because it was the one lie you always told. You loved his cock and you loved how he’d fuck you until you were left a shaking, limp mess.

Just so, when he finally had his release you slumped forward on him, moaning softly as he pushed you off cleaning himself up. No aftercare. There never was, not like when he first kissed you under the stars. Not like when you were breathless from a race, from making love.

Tadashi was kind as ever, handing you wet wipes to clean up and taking the long route home to give your face time to lose some the redness. When you arrived back at your family’s estate you almost got out of the car without it- the fake kiss that was painfully tender in how it was so much like he used to kiss you.

You smiled, waves as he drove away.

Ten minutes later, you swallowed down the pills, hand over your belly wishing it wasn’t like this. Like he might not pretend, like he might not be so cruel. Like he might love you again like he used to.

Sitting on the toilet, you clutch the foil wrapper in one hand, phone in the other. A name on the screen, you debate it for a second before your bitterness, your sadness and anger get the better of you.

“Joe?” The echo of the bathroom is dim. The man on the other end sounds like he’s at a restaurant. “Tonight. You and me. You’ve got one shot at your beef.” At first he doesn’t know what you mean but then the words come easy. “One date Joe.” He asks what you want if you win.

“I don’t know.” There is a pause and- “One beef Joe. Then it’s over. For good.”

Hanging up was easy, but as you look in the mirror, makeup running down your face as you note how you’d been crying you resist the urge to punch the glass at the woman in front of you. Weak, petty, stupid, stuck in an abusive relationship she should escape. Fight harder. In love with a man who doesn’t love her anymore.

You crumple, foil packet empty in hand. In a few days you’ll take a test just to be sure.

Part of you hopes they don’t work. Because maybe then… Maybe then….
Maybe then.

Maybe you can be EVE again.

Chapter Text

S is as loud as ever. The cacophony of cheers, yells, music and thrum of wheels on pavement is almost enough to drown out the words of the man next to you.

Cherry isn’t the type to usually engage in small talk with you- he knows after all, that you’re connected to ADAM somehow, and even though you speak openly despairing of the man, Cherry doesn’t trust easy. Ergo, why he was now running a third degree on your ass why you’ve suddenly not just accepted Joe’s beef, but the one who actually contact Joe to start it.

“So you just thought it’d what? Be fun?” Cherry’s scowl isn’t hidden by his (in your opinion) lame ninja mask. The man claims and acts like he’s more composed than Joe, but the reality is that he’s just like the larger man- all ego, all skate no brains. So what he made an AI? Means shit when the guy would lose a match the second you started reciting numbers at him to throw off his calculations and made him have to ask his Carla for info through the whole damn race.

“Well. Yes.” You answer blithely. “That’s what skating is supposed to be? Fun? Or does that not add up to your equations?” You know that just talking to Cherry is bound to irk Ainosuke, and coupled with the fact it’s now open news you challenged Joe rather than the other way around? Either your fiancé was going to hate fuck you into next week or let slip some nasty little comment so your folks would lock you up and ‘remind’ you just how ‘proper young ladies’ acted.

You personally guessed both given how he reacted to the short clip of you and Joe ‘sharing a romantic tryst in the trees’. As if tryst was the same thing of ‘having a private conversation’ and didn’t actually mean fucking.

“That can’t be the only reason.” Cherry gets in your face and you look away. It’s not that you’re so much uncomfortable, Cherry isn’t that type of guy, like Joe in that respect as well, but he is one to be much more aggressive when he wants something. And when Cherry gets in your face you can’t look him in the eyes and lie. Another reason Ainosuke lost interest in you- the practical fact you’re a shit liar and he’s to be a politician.

“So.” Cherry backs off but not entirely, (he never would, not until he gets all the facts, analytical bastard) “there is another reason.”

“Yeah, she wants a date.” You choke back what you had planned to say as Joe cuts in, hulking from coming between you and Cherry. You almost would thank Joe. Almost, if you didn’t know what came after.

“I wasn’t talking to you gorilla!”

“I’m sorry princess but my Angel here has a beef with me. If you have a problem with that, then hey, I can do two races in one night.” You can HEAR his wink at the women standing to the side, some who giggle and call his name, the flirting idiot. “I’m not a one shot showman.” And there he goes, making an inuendo for no reason other than the fact he could.

“Your sexual prowess isn’t the topic here Joe.” You admonish him, fighting back your own blush at his lewd insinuation. “We have a beef. Cherry, I frankly don’t give a shit if you believe me or not,” a lie. Despite your words, Cherry was one of the big three and overall, a decent gentleman, one of the few, even with his feeling on ADAM clear, never mocked you when you arrived at S and fell, making a fool of yourself. He even gave a few encouraging words on occasion. “But this is between me and Joe. No one else.” Another lie. One that Cherry easily picked up on given the twitch in his eye brow.

“Fine then. But after your race with Joe-“ Oh no. You feel dread rise in your gut. He can’t be this stupid, he can’t be this fucking egotistical and not get that this beef was personal on a level he wasn’t privy to. “You and Me.”

“Me and You what? I don’t know if we have that good of chemistry.” Your answer makes him pause and for a second you wonder if you’ve flustered him but the words next out of his mouth reveal how dumb Cherry can and actually is.

“A beef. I win and you tell me everything I want to know.” And there it was. Cherry making an idiot out of himself. You can’t help but look at his fans, begging one of them to somehow distract his pink haired ass and rescind the challenge. ADAM was already watching you knew, and Ainosuke was going to make life hell over Joe, adding Cherry to the mix? So much for doing anything out of the house for a month.

Cherry’s fan let you stew in it, not bothering to help. They don’t get involved with beefs, not really, and to them, Cherry wasn’t serious about the implication.
That he was jealous.

Fucking idiot.

Joe’s laughter cut the air and silently you thanked him for it. You especially thanked him for it when he spelled out for Cherry just what the ninja skater had implied by his beef and win request.
“Oh, you wanna date her too Cherry?” The man teased, earning a very flustered sputter from the leaner of the duo.

“I never said that!”

“Yeah, then why you want a beef with her so bad? Why you asking after our beef and getting all in her face?” Joe- you could kiss him, ( a bad idea for numerous reasons), for spinning Cherry’s stupidity on him.

“I don’t want to date her-“ He looked at you and something must have shown on your face because what comes after was textbook digging the hole deeper. “Not that I wouldn’t, she’s quite beautiful and intelligent but ah-“ You knew you were blushing and could feel ADAM’s cameras on you. Ainosuke was going to be pissed. “That’s not the point!”

“Sounds like it is.”

“Shut up you Gorilla! She’s connected to ADAM, how can you just overlook that?”

“The same way you overlook it when you stare at her when she skates I bet. You always did have a thing for asses in tight fits.” Cherry sputters even more and you wanted to crawl into a hole and die. This was exactly why you never took these kinds of beefs. Men were stupid. God willing, one day you could live without them. Sadly until then…

“Joe, are we going to skate or are you and Cherry going to keep playing gay chicken. Because I’ll take you forfeiting, less hassle for me.” That rouses them both out of their little feud, Joe looking annoyed, Cherry half flustered and pissed. Good, let them eat that.
“Sorry Angel.” Back to his smooth playboy persona, Joe takes his board from one of his fans, who now that it’s news you’re actually going to entertain Joe’s flirting, no longer consider you bystander. Now you’re just more competition. Not that you want to be, or considered yourself as such. Joe just wanted to pity date you and spite ADAM. That’s all this was. It was just about ADAM, about Ainosuke. It always was. Nobody wanted you for you. Nobody wanted the daughter of two old diet members save for other diet members looking for a new young wife.

You’d die before you resigned yourself to that. The blare of horns, the red light on.

You’d never accept anyone who wanted you because of you blood, of the old money your family had. Red. Blaring horns. Two lights.

You were not going to just bend over and accept what they told you- you didn’t have to marry Ainosuke and have a miserable marriage, you could have a happy one.
Three lights, red. Another horn. Muscles tensed, you saw Joe from the corner of your eye lean forward, his posture all coiled muscle like a spring.

You were going to get back to the level you were at, you were going to prove to ADAM, to Ainosuke that you could be, were, his EVE. You were a good match. You could make him happy. He could make you happy too-

Green.

The slam of plastic wheels on pavement, the crack of wood to rock. Feet propelling you forward, tossing your board out and jumping on. Muscle memory, reflex. You didn’t look at Joe, you kept your focus in front of you, on the way the rocks flew by in a rush of multicolored browns. As iron fence was passed too fast to make out the diamonds. Wind rushing by your ears, a howling beast at you back, a cold lover’s embrace while your heart thundered in your chest.

This was S. This was what skating was about.

“Don’t think I’m about to go easy on you Angel!” Joe yelled from behind you, not far behind at that. Maybe three feet. A gap that would easily be closed with a trick or two. “I want us to have a good time-“ Pressure at the base of your spine, Joe took up air, cut away the drag of wind you left in your wake. “More I wanna see his face when I make you fall in love with me.”

A split second is all it ever takes for someone to get the edge over you at S and on the downhill, Joe had a slight advantage. His body crouched on his board, his center of gravity was lower too, and so it was basic physics he went a bit faster. Not that it bothered you, a lean and angle, you started to gain back up on him.

“I don’t give a shit what he thinks-“ You yelled over the wind and crowds cheering for the match. “All I care about-“ The first turn, you put your body into it, swinging low, arching wide to maintain speed and force Joe to back off lest he wanted to bail into you, “-Is showing what I can do!” The first curve down, you had regained the lead, Joe having backed off like you expected. He wasn’t a violent skater, nor the most aggressive. He made up for it in knowing his own style and technique as well as being willing to risk a big more to get the edge.

Just so, his voice was too close when he began to taunt you.
“Come on Angel, he’s garbage, we both know that. He’s not worth it. None of this is worth it.” He was right of course. Joe was stupid but he wasn’t ‘stupid’. He’d easily put two and two together about you and ADAM after your talk. Just why his number had been in your phone at his insistence. Just in case things ever went ‘bad’. He said he’d be in your corner. You told him he’d not be a rebound or pity fuck if that what he wanted. Joe just said that you deserved someone who cared.

“I don’t get that choice Joe!” You yelled, taking the curve a bit too fast, wincing as you felt rocks scrape at your palm. Chalk that one up to tripping when your folks asked. Whatever, what was another posture lesson in exchange for a beef like this?

“We always get a choice Angel.” His voice was too close- a mop of green hair, Joe was right next to you- how- “Just a matter of being willing to take that risk.” The straightaway was longest here and before you could react Joe was gripping his board, doing one of his signature moves- one he only broke out when he was serious and wanted to win.

“Shit.” You couldn’t help but curse as he started to expand the distance between you- there were two options, one was try and take a shortcut before the turn on the outcropping and hope you’d land it. The other was get as much speed as possible and grind on the rail to make the turn. Seconds dipped by and when Joe didn’t let up, going too fast into the turn you had him. There wasn’t anyway he could make it and rebound in the time your rail grind would give you the edge you needed.

Smiling, you thought you had it in the bag- up until Joe jumped up- and kicked off the rocks to send himself even further, even faster.

You didn’t even need to think on it- as soon as you lost sight of Joe at the turn it was over. There was no way to make up that distance. Still, you couldn’t give up. Maybe he’d crash and bail. Maybe a screw would go loose on his deck. Maybe, maybe-

As you reached the warehouse you had the honor of seeing Joe cross the finish line alone.

Sour was the taste of defeat. Worse, now not only would you have a date with Joe, ADAM was watching, and he’d make you regret it. He’d probably tell your parents how you cursed or something else and get them on your case, making them lock you up for a month or so. He’d probably demand a date himself, if just to make a show of what a good fiancé he was and how ungrateful you were. He would-

“Bravo, Bravo. Not everyday our Angel takes on such a challenge.” His voice was ice water and when you spun to see ADAM wheeling his way in the crowd cheering him on like he was their God, like he wasn’t the man who caused you so much pain and yet who loved you so much as to make you face your fears for your own good.

“ADAM.” Joe’s voice was cold. And then- “You also want a date get in line. Cherry is going to race her next.” Said man in question glanced over to you, face unreadable. “But with how good our night is gonna go, she won’t give either of you a second glance.”

“Is that so?” ADAM’s eyes fixed on you, you flinched when he came up, hands hovering on your face, a hair’s breath away. “The real question is who my Angel wants.”

It was cruel of him and he knew it.

“I-“

“But it doesn’t matter. Date her, fuck her, I don’t care. She’ll come back in the end.” ADAM kept staring you down. “She knows where she belongs.” His kiss was all lips and teeth and tongue. A hand at your back so you couldn’t pull away, another in your hair so you couldn’t refuse. You hated it, you loved it. He was kissing you- cruel, cold, he still was kissing you, and when his tongue dipped into your mouth and you sucked on his tongue, you could feel the moan coming from him, feel his erection pressing through his pants against your hip-

“Let her go!” Joe was the one who made it stop. Who pulled ADAM away and left you trembling alone. “The fuck is wrong with you-“

“Are you alright?” Cherry’s voice broke the stupor and when you looked up at him the concern on his face was real, genuine.

“Huh?”

“You’re shaking and crying Angel.” Blinking you realized he was right. The light clatter of the track on your deck echoed in your ears and you felt the wetness cooling on your cheeks. Looking bac at Cherry, he just- he stepped between you and ADAM and Joe.
“Come one, I’ll walk you to the entrance.”

You didn’t know what to say. What could you say? Now Cherry, no, now all of S knew of you and ADAM and your relationship. Now attention would be on you because of him. Now things would just get harder, get worse. And with your beef lost against Joe and to date him as a prize coupled with ADAM saying he didn’t care-
“Hey.” Before you knew it, you and Cherry were back at the entrance, and you felt a sting in your eyes and tears kept flowing unwanted.
“If you tell Joe no he’ll back down. And I’ll drop the beef-“

You shove him away, shove away how much you want to just… be comforted like he’s offering, arm hovering just by your shoulder. You swallow down the need to be held, to be embraced without the expectation of sex, without a cold distance between you. You swallow it down.

“I don’t back down Cherry. I can’t.” You sniffle, taking a moment to compose yourself. “Just- ask Joe. He’ll explain the whole stupid mess.”

And like that you fling your board down and run away. Like you always do. You run. You want the wind in your hair and the beast of freedom at your back. But as you skate hope, climbing over the low back wall and sneaking up to your window, you bite back the tears as you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

You cry harder when you read Ainosuke’s text.

‘

Chapter Text

Ainosuke’s text haunted you for the whole week. You expected him to lash out, retaliate, make good on his usual pettiness and talk to your parents but the man was oddly quiet and absent, and when your parents asked why you looked so stressed they couldn’t have been further from the mark yet also so painfully close to it.

‘She’s probably just fretting over the rumors of Ainosuke’s recent case- and the talk of people finding him marriage candidates as if his wife wasn’t right in front of them the whole time.” You couldn’t have given a shit about the man’s cases or their outcomes, heck you cared even less if he went and started ‘cheating’ on you. The cold reality was he was your fiancé and while you parents like to call him their son-in-law and your husband, until the ring was on your finger and paperwork filled out, Ainosuke could very well leave you for another woman.

No your stress was the fact that his possessiveness had yet to rear it’s head and you frankly were a bit concerned. He wasn’t the type to play the game of delayed punishment, in or out of the bedroom. He liked making you stew in your mistakes and failure sure, but week? No contact? Nary a whisper? Either he meant it, that he didn’t care and fully expected you to crawl back, or, he had more important things on his mind.

If anything, the added stress made texting Joe a little bit of a relief. The man was kind, asking after you, demanding to know if you were okay and reminding you, he would help you if you wanted to get out of the situation. It hurt how kind he was, how considerate. He always text in the morning, asking how you slept, if Ainosuke had contacted you, if you were okay to meet up. You declined of course, which Joe often responded with a dramatic crying emoji and plea to let him take you out, (but only if you were okay and wanted to). A part of you felt bad, going behind Ainosuke’s back and texting Joe like this but the other part was… giddy? Happy? Joe’s texts were always light and assuring. He didn’t flirt much in them, just a bit of good natured ribbing, the kind he’d do at S.

It…was nice.

Just so, a week of stress and of saying no to Joe- it didn’t sit right. While he had, multiple times, the date was off, you made a bet, lost the beef, and as such you were a woman of your word. Joe won so a date it was. One week and a day later you set it up.

‘Tomorrow night. I will meet you at the bus stop two blocks from S’s entry at 5. I want three courses at somewhere NICE Joe, no fast food. ‘

‘Wear a shirt.’

A text reply came back not much later.

‘You got it Angel. BTW call me Nanjo.’

The real name made something twist in you. ‘Nanjo? You seriously just shorted your name for S?’

‘Hey Angel, it’s good enough. I mean, you can call me Kojiro if you want. I figured you’d be more comfortable calling me Nanjo.’

You blushed and shot back a reply.

‘Absolutely not.’

His text back was a winking emoji with a ‘It’s okay Angel, call me whatever you want. But I’ll meet you there tomorrow night- already have a whole plan for giving you best date you’ve ever had.’

Was it bad you were excited? Bad that the idea of going on a date, an actual date with Joe, Nanjo…Kojiro was sounding more and more a thing you wanted? Ainosuke didn’t take you out aside from the every few mouth outings and the ‘dates’ which were always just him making sure you regretted something you did or he thought you were rethinking skating. In contrast Joe… Kojiro…. He didn’t want t date you to be mean he just seemed like he wanted to date you and show you a good time.

Heat flooded your face as you thought more and more about what you’d done, what you’d said. You were really going to date him. You were going to go out on a date with Joe, the playboy of S and… it made something warm pool in your belly. You wanted to ignore it, dismiss it, but the feeling was there simmering, lingering at your mind even as you went to bed that night, trying to chase away the thoughts.

You were looking forward to the date.

Fast forward, as you waited by the bus stop, you kept checking your hair and clothes. The dress you wore was a nice one. A soft blue, just above the knees, some white pumps, a nice pale yellow cowl and white hairpins in place you looked just the right amount of cute and proper that your parents hadn’t questioned you leaving under the guise of shopping, and the outfit would suit for most decent restaurants. Now… Just to pray Joe wasn’t an idiot and came on his skateboard.

Each time you heard the wheels of a deck you flinched, eyes flickering towards their source hoping no one recognized you. It wasn’t super close to S and it was a night most wouldn’t be at the track, still hopefully no one saw you-

“Angel?” The voice hit you like cold water, and Cherry looked at you with something hard to read on his face.

“Shh.” You hissed at him. “I don’t know you.” The heat on your face couldn’t be hidden under the makeup, and you knew that Cherry could see it.

“Right.” He drawled. “Waiting for Joe?” You huffed, arms crossing as you leaned against the bus stop. “You look nice.” The compliment made you jerk your head his way blinking owlishly at him. The compliment was out of no where and when he looked at you you felt the heat in your face get worse. As if realizing what he said, he looked away too.

“You don’t have to date him you know.”

“I lost the beef. I-“

“Koji-Joe and I talked. About you and ADAM. And well- Sorry.” He sighed heavily. “Ignorance isn’t an excuse, I was-“

“An asshole?” Cherry glares and you smirk at him content to have gotten a reaction.

“…I wouldn’t say that but I was rude. Now knowing…”

“Cherry?” You push off the bus stop glaring at him. You’re sick of people pitying you because you love Ainosuke and he doesn’t love you right now. “I’d like a lot of things, but pity isn’t one of them. He’s my fiancé. It’s been that way since we were kids. All I’m doing is trying to get back to what we had..before my accident.” The is a pause.

“Did he do it?” You gawk, wondering just why Cherry would ask that. Of all things Ainosuke did to you, all the games he played, he never hurt you, never raised a hand to you that you didn’t ask for. Ainosuke was a lot of things but a monster wasn’t one of them.

“No.” You clip. “Just be thinking I was better than I was and not be careful. I fucked up. It was my fault and my fault alone. Hell, if it was his fault, he probably would be kinder.” A toy he broke was his own fault after all. If others broke when they played with him though… that was on them. Ainosuke played rough, and you liked it like that.

That’s what you told yourself.

“But he’s not.” Cherry’s tone is firm. “I can’t claim to know all the details but I agree with Joe. You deserve better than him. You’re nothing like him-“

You step away from Cherry, angry. “You don’t know me.”

“I’d like to.” He says it so plainly. Like being seen together wasn’t a bad idea. Like Joe wasn’t going on a date with you. Still, Cherry is pink in the cheeks from what you can see, and when he briefly pulls down his mask to look at you, something makes your face heat at the display of bare lips. Cherry never openly took off his mask- not to girls especially. “You’re a good person Angel, and ADAM shouldn’t abuse you like he does.” You want to rebuke him but the words die sour on your tongue.

“And I think a part of you doesn’t want his abuse either.” A card, it’s glossy and embossed. Calligraphy flows beautifully on it and you read the name. Sakurayashiki Kaoru. You look at him then his card. Artist and professional with a studio site was not what you expected yet-

“It suits you.” You’re blushing and you know it. “The card. Elegant, yet eye catching. Formal but a hit of personality. Also tells me you and Joe both are garbage with your S names.”

“And what’s Angel come from?” You pause. It’s not something you share but…

“Ainosuke used to call me that...back when things were good. I was his angel from heaven, come to make his life better.” It’s a bittersweet memory. You sigh. “It stuck when I came to S and he called me it in front of others. He doesn’t call me it in private anymore, just by my name.”

For a beat Cherry, Sakurayashiki, is quite. “Kaoru.” He says, conviction in his voice. “Call me Kaoru.” He’s like Joe, being so forward. “I know what I tell you won’t change much, but I want you to know if you break it off, I won’t let him keep hurting you. I can’t let a guy like him do what he does and say nothing.” His arms are crossed. “Just- go on the date with Kojiro. Have a good time. Know that you have someone else ready to help if you need it. ADAM isn’t good for you, he’s-“ Cherry clicking his teeth in annoyance.

“I love him.” You say it, bare, let the secret out. “I know you and J-Nanjo mean well, but I still love him. He’s my fiancé. And… he still loves me too. We’re just…hurt. And things won’t get better till I’m better.” Cherry doesn’t say anything.

“Call me if you need me Angel.”

As he walks towards S you want to call out to him, tell him not to leave you, to tell you how he’ll protect you, how to escape your marriage, escape Ainosuke’s love and how to stop loving him. You love him and you can’t just walk away…

Not much later Joe arrives, smiling.

The date goes by in a blurr, but when it begins to end, the taste of chocolate cake on your lips still, you seated in the passenger of his car, you don’t know why you feel the way you do. Why all night, butterflies fly restless in your stomach. Why you laugh at Nanjo, Kojiro’s jokes as silly as they are. Why you smile when he talks to passionately about the food you order, about cooking and his job as a chef. You can’t help how you relax as he talks of his restaurant, asking about you. It’s nice, his questions. Asking what you want to do if you could do anything. About your life outside S. Your favorite colors and flowers. Favorite foods, hobbies, outfits-

You don’t know why when he disappears into a flower shop and comes back with a bouquet of the flowers you told him you loved in your favorite color makes warmth spread through your whole body. How he asks if you feel comfortable in his car with him, offering to get a cab for you. How when offers a second dessert you smile, and smile wider when he asks your favorite truffle flavors, buying you a box of them on the spot.

You feel… warm. He smiles asking if you’re having fun. When he takes you to the arcade on whim when you mention how your parents never let you go into them as a child. When he cheers you on at the crane game. When he struggles himself and laments he couldn’t win more than a little keychain of a cheap plastic skateboard in white.

Seated in the passenger seat of his car, you don’t know why you feel the way you do. You love Ainosuke. Street lights illuminate him, his hair shiny and conditioned and making you want to run your fingers through it. His smile is soft, content. He talks of how he liked the date. And how, he blushes, he’d like another one if you’d be up to it. No beef, just a date. He had fun, you were fun, he’s always liked you, and he didn’t think it’d go as good as it did, that he’d like it as much as he did. Its warm. He’s parked a few blocks from your place. He understand you can’t be seen getting out of his car. Can’t let anyone see you with him. It’s warm. So warm. But you love Ainosuke.

So why, why, do you lean over? Why do you want it? Why when his lips meet your own do you feel safe? You feel like you can trust him. He’s Joe, playboy- he has a new girl on his arm every week. Why do you look into his eyes and wonder what if. What if you took that chance? The open window of the car lets the wind rush past your ears. When you kiss him again it’s more than lips on lips. It’s slow. Tender. Soft and gentle. Nothing like you know. His hand cradles your face.

“Is that a yes?” He asks, soft and breathless.

You kiss him again, a plea, a whisper. He says no. He can’t do that to you. He wants you- but he won’t risk you getting hurt for something like that. He likes you too much for that. Just another date. See where it goes. See if Ainosuke will let you go, (he’ll never let you go. You’re his Angel, his fiancé) and Kojiro can take you out without sneaking out like teenagers. You look away and blush when he asks if he can call you by your name.

His fingers brush your cheek, and you turn to him, knowing you should say no.

When you kiss him goodbye, kiss him goodnight, you say yes. He whispers your name like a secret because it is. His smile is so soft and warm and you want to get back into his car. You want him to take you away. To make your life vanish and start new, start with something like he offers. Something warm.

You parents don’t question the chocolates, saying you found nothing worth buying.
They don’t see the little skateboard key chain in your purse. They don’t see you touch your lips and smile when you see the name Joe flash across your phone.

You change it to Kojiro and stare at the name in bed.

You feel warm, and you don’t want it to fade.

Chapter Text

You’ve been on several dates with Kojiro. Several being around…8. 8 Dates with the playboy of S. And Ainosuke hasn’t done a damn thing about it. Not a single peep out of him, and you and his regular three month date at the restaurant is fast approaching. Whats odd is when you used to just feel annoyed at the play nice dates with your fiancé, this time you feel anxious, nervous, and worried. You almost would say you’re afraid of what Ainsouke might do, but you also had a hunch he wasn’t doing anything on purpose, just to mess with you.

Kojiro on the other hand? You both agreed- his texting you on your normal phone would be risky with Ainosuke and your parents- so you got a burner phone just for calling and texting him. When you snuck out for S, you always met up with him at the entrance, warmth spilling across your cheeks when he’d great you at the gates with his wink and a ‘There’s my Angel.’ Ainosuke’s pet name sounded better coming from Kojiro, from Joe. It sounded like he meant it, that he really did think you were that good of a person. It was almost nice to walk in with him, talk casually, see him rebuff other girls just to place himself next to you, not even touching just… being there, comforting in his loud and warm presence.

He never kissed you at S, no touching, just the usually teasing, the flirting, but now Joe ignored the other girls, and guys no longer approached you thinking you’d respond to their advances and beefs. A nice side effect of dating Joe and it being a ‘secret’? He would flex shirtless and do so always in your line of sight. It was so blatant and flirty and worst of all it worked. Before you dated him, you could always ignore him, now just a wink and smile and your entire body flushed warm.

And watching him race? Seeing how he lit up, how when it came down he’d get this serious look, putting his all into it and crushing his opponent… You hated how handsome he was when he raced, how he looked…sexy when he was breathing hard, coming off the end of a race and looking barely restrained. It was those moments you wanted to break you rule and go and kiss him most. But it was okay because when S ended, he always snuck you to the shadows away from eyes, from ADAM’s cameras and would kiss you so soft and sweet. Every kiss was gentle and slow and made you feel light, giddy. This… It felt like you were falling for him.

Just why your fingers were busy between your legs, flicking your clit hard and fast, a picture you’d taken at S of him grinning down at Cherry, sweat on his chest, shirtless and looking so damn attractive. You wanted him to kiss you after a race. See him took at you with that intensity, have his hand on you, pin you up against the warehouse and steal your breath. Take you behind the trees and fuck you in the shadows. Make you cum and fill you up with his cock and cum and make you skate, still dripping with him. You wanted to fuck Kojiro, kiss him, give yourself to him.

It also helped that he was on your headset, panting, the wet sound of skin on skin telling you just what he was doing on the other end.
“Kojiro-“

“Ah Angel, baby, tell me what you like…” His breathing was heavy, and it made your body clench as he groaned. “Tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what my babygirl wants.” When he first had called you babygirl you had scoffed at him saying you were no such thing. But when he whispered it in your ear it had made you shiver. And when he said it husky, like he was in the room with you, watching you…

“Ah, I want-“ You whimpered, fingers pinching your clit, “-want your hands-“

“Where.” He breathed into the phone, and you wished he was with you, god did you wish he was with you. But Kojiro said no sex but this? Phone sex? Feeling each other up in his car? Perfectly fine. So long as nothing went in it wasn’t cheating right?

“Inside.” You mewled, “I want your fingers fucking me. I want….Please.” You never liked it when Ainosuke made you beg, but when Kojiro made you beg, he made it feel good. He made sure you came, you liked it, begging him always meant getting something, even if it was a bit delayed.

“Fuck baby- put two fingers in that pussy for me. Get you nice and open for my cock. I wanna see that pussy take me to the balls-“ You muffled your moan with your shirt, hips rocking in your bed. “Yeah baby, fuck your pussy with those fingers. Get yourself nice and wet- fuck I bet it’s not enough is it huh?” A muffled no was enough, Kojiro’s voice rolling over you. “Good girl, you know what that pussy wants, what it needs huh? You want my cock. You need it, need that pussy stuffed and stretched. I’d fill it up. Make you cry with how much cock I’ve got for that hole. And you’d take it. Fuck you’d take it so good.”

“Kojiro-“ You gasped his name. “Please-“

“I wanna kiss you baby. I wanna kiss you so much. I bet you scream so loud when you cream. Come on baby, come for me. Lemme here you fuck that pussy. Fuck your hand like it’s my cock.” Your fingers moved faster, thumb at your clit, fingers rubbing over the small spongey spot inside- “Come on baby, come for me. I wanna hear it. Hear you come- My cock is so fucking hard. I’ve so close. Be good and come for me babygirl, come-“

Stars and white in your vision, your hips rocking up as you gasp, shuddering, Kojiro’s name a whine as you orgasm, the man on the other end of the line groaning loudly, the wet sounds of skin slowing.
“Oh baby.” His breathing was shaking. “Baby- Angel…that was so hot. Fuck.” Rustling, you were catching your own breath. “Fuck Angel, I haven’t come that hard in… a long time.” He laughed a bit. “Baby, you there? You didn’t pass out on me did you?”

Moaning, you answered. “No.” Your hand was sticky and wet along with the towel under your hips. “Just…good.” You just wanted to lay in the afterglow a bit. “Really good.”

Kojiro’s laugh was low yet so bright, so comforting. “I hope so. You sounded sexy as hell.” You choked.

“Kojiro-“

“You do. You’re the whole package deal. Smart, witty, talented, beautiful-“ You could hear his smile in his words. “Hearing those sounds would make any guy come.” You blushed, wiping off your hand and you picked up your phone, putting it to your head properly.

“You’re terrible. I bet you’ve said that to other girls before.”

“Funny enough, you’re the first girl I’ve done this with. Phone sex is a hell of lot hotter than I thought it would be.” Your face just heated further. “Maybe next time we can do a video call.”

“Kojiro-“ You whined. “You know how risky it is just to do this.” It was 3am. Your parents on the other side of the house, but still too close. You wished you could move out, escape. But until your job wasn’t working at the Diet Building as a secretary for Ainosuke’s district, you had to keep secreting money to your savings where no one but you knew you had. After all, your parents just thought it was going towards new outfits and cosmetics. They never bothered to look, to check.
“I know.” That damn voice of his, the smirk in it, you could see him in your minds eye winking at you, playful. “But isn’t that half the fun?” You giggled, giggled like you were a teenager again.

“A little.”

“Hey.” He spoke softly. “How about we go out tomorrow night? Somewhere nice. Not like a restaurant, but more scenic? I’ll make us dinner for the road.” Your heart thundered in your ears. You wanted that. A romantic date…maybe just stargazing? Even if you were too close to the city for that.

“What about S?” It was an honest question. Joe rarely missed big nights- and tomorrow his rival? Friend? Cherry was due for a beef with some upstart. Joe always liked heckling Cherry, why, you could only surmise it was just their way of cheering each other on.

“Forget about S. I’d rather spend the night with you.”

You froze. He’d give up S for you? Time with you? “We can still go to S-“

“Baby, it’s fine. I’d rather go out with you okay?”

“But-“

“Angel. Babygirl, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to take you. S will be there. You- I want to-“ He paused. “I want to be good for you.” You stilled. It felt hard to breathe all the sudden. Ainosuke would say that to you before he-

“…..”

“Baby? Hey- you with me?” He sounded concerned.

“Oh yeah I’m here.” Another pause, you tried to hide it, the aphrehensin in your thoughts. Thinking about Ainosuke when you were with Kojiro like this was… bad. You were cheating on him. With a guy he hated. You were a whore, you could hear the words coming from Ainosuke already-

“Babygirl, you know I want to make sure you’re happy right? That if I fuck up, you can tell me. It’s okay to talk to me.” He was telling you but… you had a nagging in your gut. How this was wrong. How Kojiro was doing it to hurt Ainosuke and how you were hurting him too. No wonder he didn’t want you. Ainosuke gave you the cold shoulder because you fucked up and so you cheated on him and fucked around…

“Kojiro.” You whispered. “I… I’m cheating on Ainosuke aren’t I?” Silence on the other end of the line your fears started to compound. You were right. This was cheating. Ainosuke would kill you if he found out. He’d never forgive you. He’d never love you again…

“Yes.” It was like a punch to the gut. “You’re engaged to him and we’re dating in secret.” Then- “He’s abusing you Angel. We’ve been over this- how he treats you? How he fucks with your head? It’s not healthy baby. You know I’m not lying. Even Cherry agreed. Fuck, how many people has he fucked up at S alone Angel? You know how he is- you know he’s no good for you.”

“But I’m the one cheating on him Kojiro. We’re…. what we’re doing… Maybe we should stop.” A heavy sigh.

“I don’t want to... but if you want to stop this, if this is as far as it goes… I can’t make you do anything babygirl. We date so long as you let me. So long as you want what I can give, I’ll give you everything.” Kojiro sucked in air and you could hear something in his voice. “Please. One last date? Tomorrow night? We can talk about it then?” You should say no. That Ainosuke was your fiancé. That you loved him. That…that you could be, would be happy with him. That he was good for you, that Kojiro was wrong…

“Okay. Our usual meeting place?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you then okay?”

“Mhm.”

“Good night Angel.” A pause. “I love you.” The words shook you, jaw dropping as Kojiro hung up before you could reply to him.

Across town, Kojiro scowled at his ceiling. He wanted to confess later, but you sounded so scared, so… hurt. The fact that you were that was because of some twisted lingering ‘love’ for Ainosuke pissed him off. The bastard had done a hell of a number on your psyche. It was pretty clear to him Ainosuke had manipulated you for god knew how long, combined with your fucked up power hungry family and the man’s own psychotic personality, you had a load of self confidence issues and that was nothing to say of your paranoia of your so called ‘fiancé’.

Groaning, he cleaned himself up, and when he looked at his phone, he flicked to the photo he’d taken of you a week ago. Focused, eyes forward, hair whipping behind you, smiling with such fierce determination as you raced down the red head from that night you’d told him about your past.

He was so fucked. He never liked a woman for longer than a few nights but now… he was weeks deep. What had started a bit as a joke, an attempt to just spite Ainosuke and get someone away from their abuser… now he had to admit it. And confess to you over the phone after sex no less.
Sighing, Kojiro knew only one person he could call and talk with about it-

“Kojiro?” Kaoru’s voice was groggy. “What the fuck are you calling for at 3a-“

“I told her I loved her.” Silence.

“You're kidding.”

“No.”

“Please tell me it wasn't just now.” Kaoru was going to beat the shit out him.

“…”

Silence.

“You’re a fucking idiot Kojiro.”

For once, he didn’t fight with his friend on it.

Chapter Text

“Ah- Ah-“ You whimpered, hands bound in above you, unable to move away, unable to escape as the hitachi between your legs buzzed away, clit sore and over sensitive, now on your fourth orgasm, the two eggs inside you unrelenting as the man who sat feet away cranked them back and forth from their highest setting to their lowest. It also didn’t help that another vibrating egg was in your ass, adding to that. How you’d managed to end up tied in shibari, cunt blocked by rope yet clit so perfectly displayed, breasts tightly bound to force nipples to swell, the two cups sucking every few seconds, milking you for something your body wasn’t producing.

Tears rolled down your face, blotchy and ugly- you felt the shame, the pain, the humiliation- yet you screamed as you hit your fifth orgasm, legs shaking in their hold, trying to escape the stimulation, left to beg behind your ring gag at the man who smiled, not even stroking himself, just sitting and watching you as you fell apart over and over again. Ainosuke was a sadist.

But Sakurayashiki Kaoru was a monster.

You had been dejected- After Kojiro’s confession, you’d cried yourself to sleep. Kojiro was such a good person and you were just a whore, a cheating slut. You weren’t good- Kojiro was wrong about you. In the end, you had betrayed him too. You left him waiting for you the following night, unable to face him, to acknowledge your mistake, that you loved Ainosuke and Kojiro both and that was wrong. It was so wrong. Ainosuke was your fiancé. You were supposed to be loyal. And you had betrayed him over and over and ended up almost having sex with a guy who hated him.

Just why when you went to S a week later knowing Kojiro was working that night you had hoped to just escape in the wind like you always did; Cherry coming to you and asking what happened was unexpected, as well as what followed.

Cherry had been patient and gentle, listening as you explained- and then with all the casual air as if talking of the weather, he said something so terrible and wonderful.
“You know he sleeps with other women and men right? Ainosuke hasn’t been loyal to you since the very beginning.” When you asked how he knew, how he managed to say your worst fears, (what you long suspected, what you guessed when he smelled floral, when he wouldn’t undress with you, when Tadashi would look at you like a thing to pity), Cherry shrugged.

“Because we dated in highschool.” And then- “He was my first. A mistake on my part, but I wasn’t the only one. He’s a narcissist. He doesn’t love anyone but himself.”
The man looked at you and with a calmness you didn’t think was possible asked.

“If you want my advice, go fuck Kojiro. Enjoy being with someone who’s not the worst human being in Japan. It's not like the man has ever been loyal to you- why be loyal to him?” You should have said it was the right thing, that you loved him, but what came out was-

“I… stood him up. I... I don’t think we’re dating anymore.” Cherry, to his credit, didn’t look too surprised.

“He confessed.”

“Mhm.”

“And so you cut him off?”

You didn’t verbally reply, just nodded. With a heavy sigh Cherry leaned down into your space. “I guess I’ll just have to fuck you instead.”

Fast forward, you were strapped down on Cherry -Kaoru’s- bed, crying your eyes out as he made you orgasm till it hurt. And he’d not even undressed. When he first asked your likes you’d told him you didn’t know, but with a bit of his sharp commands, you yielded. You’d try a few things with him, use a safe word, he’d check in and you had to respond.

“Color?” His voice was a balm, cool and collected despite the erection behind his robes.

You mewled, lifting your hands weakly to hit the bed twice. It was shocking how fast he moved. The vibrating eggs went off immediately, and the hitachi wand pulled away. Cool hands on heated skin, the ring gag pulled out, your drool oozing down your chin and neck as fingers massaged your tense jaw.
Two hits for yellow. He’d stop and check how you felt. It was such a contrast- when you were with Ainosuke, it didn’t matter how far he pushed, you weren’t done till he decided as he knew your limits better than you did. (It was never rape, you never asked him to stop, never told him to, you wanted to be good for him, make him happy prove you could do anything he wanted).

“Ah-ah.” You didn’t know what you wanted. It hurt but it also felt so good. You pussy was tingling, the eggs still inside you moving as you were lifted and pet, as Kaoru brushed hair from your face and wiped away the drool and tears with a cool cloth. Looking at the pink haired man you wondered how you’d ended up like this, how you’d agreed. You loved Ainosuke, and now you were actively engaging in sex acts with his ex. One of his exes. And… you liked it. You trusted Cherry for no reason. You shouldn’t have trusted him so easy. He hated Ainosuke, but he was gentle, he touched you only with your permission. The entire event had been a process of gentle but firm questions, of rules and measures to make sure you’d be safe.

He could have ignored you…but he didn’t. You wanted a break and he gave it to you, he was holding you up and feeding you sips of water as your mind raced.

“Ah-“

“What do you need Angel?” He used your S name, both of you agreeing that real names were too intimate, too close for this. “Tell me what you need.”

You whimpered, lips puckering, wanting to kiss him. He was so pretty, so calm and collected and kind. He listened. He made you feel good, he made it hurt but in a way you liked. You wanted to kiss him so much-

When he leaned in and did, you screamed into his mouth, body snapping as you came, pussy gushing and squirting as it proved to be a stimuli you hadn’t expected. Wide eyes, he looked at the mess between your legs and then at you.

“Did you just orgasm from a kiss?” You blushed and felt tears at the corner of your eyes. It was humiliating. Normally, even when this sensitive, you didn’t orgasm from something like that- Ainosuke would demand it and you would… or you’d fake it. But when Kaoru kissed you it was slow and tender and it just made your entire body key up. Of all the things to push you over the edge…

“Such a princess.” The pink haired man teased, smile bordering on hungry. “Getting off from a kiss. ADAM really doesn’t give you anything does he?” It was mean and not what you wanted to hear, but when the man shoved his hand between your legs, flicking over your clit and kissing you again the same reaction- a soft scream into his mouth as your body shook, clenching on nothing, pussy trying to milk a cock that wasn’t there. Left trembling in his arms, nestled between his legs, back to his chest you started crying as his fingers slid up and down your soaked slit.

“Color?” You sobbed, hips rocking, pussy clenching, begging for the fingers to dip in. “Color, Princess.” A pinch to your thigh had you whine.

“Greeeeeeen-“ You were barely able to say anything as his fingers went back to their assault, rubbing and petting your soaked pussy, not going in, teasing you.

“How those idiots could give up on a woman like you I can’t understand.” Kaoru muttered. In his eyes you were perhaps the most desirable woman he knew, in and out of S. Athletic, strong willed, forgiving, tactful, you had knowledge of who knew what given your personal history with your family, not to mention there was a fragile heart- you always were at S trying to improve, to have fun a thing ADAM had forgotten long ago. To him you were witty and brave and strong to have survived as you had, to retain your sense of self and independence despite the abuse you endured.

He wasn’t like Kojiro, who wanted to be sweet and slow and kind. He wasn’t an idiot. ADAM pulled away only because he thought you wouldn’t ever risk letting another get in close. Kaoru saw his chance.

Get with the woman he liked and get her away from ADAM so he’d never have her again. The key factor was making her realize she could have what she did with him, abet, in an actually healthy way.

“You’re beautiful you know that princess?” He crooned, fingers pinching your clit, earning a soft cry of distress. “Maybe it’s the sadist in me… but you crying like this in my arms, I adore it.” Lips to lips, he smiled against your screaming mouth, thrashing as he held you down, made you come once again from something so simple.

When he pulled back, his cock was hard, the front of his pants damp, and your eyes had gone glassy. You’d been teetering on subspace for a while- and seeing you fall into it was heady. He played games with women and men before, hell, he’d gotten Kojiro to get into once, but you? Your hazy smile, glossy eyes half lidded as you reached for him, whimpering-

He kissed you, softly, hands pulled back as he began to undress, moving your body, plaintive and weak, so he might remove everything.

Your pussy was absolutely a mess, and he moaned as he felt it suck him in. Some men might call such a cunt ‘soft’ or ‘tender’, but he would describe it as ‘gummy’, soft spongey walls moving, muscles contracting to draw him as deep as possible, body having miniature orgasms as he fucked into you, making you moan and whimper his name while he watched his cock disappear inside you, just to see the small bump below your belly telling him just how much your abused body had yielded.

He bet if you weren’t on birth control, he’d be fucking a baby into you with how sticky and tight you were. Your cunt was desperate for respite, for his orgasm, and he couldn’t help the laugh that came out as you reached up, petulant, whimpering for more kisses as he pushed himself as deep as he could go, the soft barrier he found telling him you were more than willing under any other circumstance open to his seed.

The kisses he gave made you whimper and sigh, eyes fluttering and rolling back as you kept going from one orgasm into the next until he knew he risked you passing out on him. What ended up being his final trigger was you looking at him, blissed, flush and barely able to focus on him eyes glazing over.

“Inside- Please…please…. Inside.”

He came hard enough his vision went as white as the come he sent right up against your womb. And fuck if it didn’t feel deliciously good to feel your body taking it in. Fuck everything, he almost hated your birth control, knocking you up like this would be one hell of a way to steal you from ADAM and Kojiro. Not to mention, getting to fuck you pregnant and then getting to enjoy you as you’d grow heavy with his child? The very notion should be alarming he knew, after all, you and he barely had report, and a kid was a life long commitment, but the notion, the idea of it all?

Kaoru was a coveting and greedy man by nature- he knew he wasn’t as good a man as Kojiro, but he wanted to do good, and be good to those who deserved it. And you, naked in his bed, moaning his name, clenching thighs together and crying as his come began to ooze from your abused slit, deserved to be treated right. To experience what it is like to be with a sadist who took care of you, a dom who would provide aftercare.

Holding you, talking you down, giving you water and letting you cry out your emotions before he took you to his bathroom and set you in the tub, hot water going in along with his overly luxurious oils and epsom salts. You deserved to know what it was like to come out of subspace safely, to know that being taken care of after sex was right and good and supposed to happen. That kissing you over and over and over again as he brushed your hair, that later when he went and brought some fruit juice and cracker, it was normal. It was how things should be between partners.

When you lay naked, clean in his bed, curled up in fresh sheets and resting, marks of your night in his embrace littered across our body, Kaoru texted Kojiro.

‘You gave up too easy. I’m keeping her.’

‘She’s not a toy Kaoru.’

‘She’s not. But you had your chance. We both agreed- if she showed interest to one of us the other would back off, and if we stopped the other could try. You gave up and didn’t bother to fight for her. I will.’

‘You know how I feel about her Kaoru.’

‘And you know my feelings. I won’t give her up, not to Ainosuke, and not to you.’

‘And if she leaves you?’

‘I’ll fight to win her back.’

‘And if she picks me? If I ask and she comes will you back off?’

‘No.’

‘Fuck you.’

‘Only if she says I can.’

‘You better treat her right Kaoru. I don’t want to have to kick your ass but I will.’

Looking at you, smiling, asleep in his bed…

‘I’d like to see you try.’

Chapter Text

Going back to Crazy Rock, to S, was a test of courage in and of itself. For one thing, Joe would be there, ADAM would be watching, and Cherry… well Cherry had made clear that you and he would be ‘an item’, ‘exclusive’ and ‘romantically involved’. Which was all…true? Since your impulsive night with him, Cherry, Kaoru, had taken you out on two dates. Both had been very… gentlemanly. Intimate even. One was a nice outing to the aquarium, the other had been to the observatory- both ending with a light dinner and him insisting you order at least a dessert to share with him.

Despite his sexual domineering nature, he was fairly astute and aware of your trepidation and worry, assuring you that he wanted to date you for some time and had blatantly admitted he wanted to do so to both spite Ainosuke and… to have the chance to romance you.

“You’re a good person, who is stuck in an unfortunate position.” He said on your first date. “Ainosuke and your family have hurt you and now you’re fighting what you know is logical against what you’ve been raised to think is true. You’re trying to survive- and if I can help you go from surviving to thriving, I will.” His eyes had been so full of conviction you’d believed him. What helped was that… he openly said and admitted you both were acting in defiance of Ainosuke and your relationship.

“A marriage made on nothing more that old money and power is one doomed to kill a person from the inside out.” He’d say, hand interlaced with your own. “No one deserves an unhappy marriage. Or an abusive relationship. You don’t deserve that- no matter what you’ve done or will do, you don’t deserve that. You deserve your own happiness. Real happiness.” Kaoru liked to glare and speak in a stern voice, but the fact that the words that came out were also so laced with painful truths, such a conviction and firmness in their affirmations… warmed a part of you. It made the pain and fear lessen.

The only bad part was now you wanted to see Kojiro and say how sorry you were. How you should have listened to him, should have met with him to talk it out. You still held a part of the feelings you felt for Kojiro…while now you were with his friend? Rival? You and Kaoru were lovers- not secret ones, Kaoru insisted that. ‘Your family will have the news broken to them at some point, but for now, the charade will go on.’ It was a bittersweet thing, and you loathed to admit you loved how Kaoru was so forward, so demanding and resolute in his decisions. He made each step away from Ainosuke feel like it was a path of stones and not of sand. It was like walking up a mountain, hard, painful, but the ground was firm and if you fell or slipped, it wasn’t because the foundation was weak. Kaoru made up both the mountain and was the one pulling you up step by step.

Just why today you were back at S, his arm around your waist and his thumb rubbing absentminded circles in your hip while his usual fans looked at you with a mix of longing and anger. The woman skater who’d once sworn off romancing at S was now jumping from S’s top bachelors like a mayfly. It wasn’t a great look, but both Joe and Cherry didn’t seem keen to entertaining their fans.
“You’re tense.” Cherry had to lean down a bit to whisper in your ear properly, and even behind his mask you could feel his warm breath against your skin.

“I just-“ You looked at the ground, not knowing what to really do. Joe had always kept a bit of distance between you both out of your want to remain free from rumor, to not be lumped in with him or seen riding his coattails. Cherry meanwhile was… stupidly handsy. Even outside of S he liked holding your hip or hand when you went walking with him, and he had a tendency to get in your space more than not. It was a nice change and you kind of liked it, but here at S it was… alien. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?” He was still Kaoru under the mask, and still his real self- and that included his merciless way of teasing out the truth from you. His hand at your hip moving down just barely above decent, his out hard coming and lacing fingers through your own to stop their figiting and make you focus on him. “Use that pretty mouth for me princess.” His voice took on a sultry tone and you couldn’t help the blush that bloomed. He was a sadist through and through, and memories of the night in his arms and in his bed had your pussy getting wet and lightly clenching with the combination of his voice and pet name.

“I-” you swallowed, took a breath. Centered your thoughts. The eyes of S didn’t matter. This was S. All that mattered was skating. Was getting better. Getting back to the level you used to be at. “I don’t know what I’ll do or say when Joe gets here.”

Cherry snorted and let your hand go, the loss of warmth almost making you pout and reach back for it. “If he’s smart he’ll say he’s sorry and beg you to go back to him. Which I hope you’d not.” Tugging his mask down your blush deepened. “You’re my princess now, and I don’t plan to let that gorilla steal you away.” The kiss was sudden, and with the eyes of S on you, you felt terror… and elation. It felt good to not have to hide it. To have him kiss you in the open, to hold you close and tell you things would be okay.

When he smiled and put his mask back up you didn’t feel so afraid of facing down your newly acquired ex. You didn’t think about your cheating fiancé. You watched Cherry greet some of the other skaters, before he motioned you to join him, making a spot in their circle for you. An equal. The eyes of a few glaring holes in your back as they always did but- The way Cherry looked at you, like you belonged, like you were the only one he was looking at…

You hadn’t felt that in a long time.

In reflection, ADAM was feeling much the same.

His little Lilith was pulling away from him, daring to flaunt her newest toy like she meant to keep him. It was one thing for her to pretend she wasn’t all but fucking Joe on the daily, but the fact that Ainosuke had his dog tail her just to find out she’d gone to Cherry of all people, was truly disgusting. And while he knew what his ex likely told his fiancé, about his infidelity and various trysts, they were just that. Trysts. Distractions. He may not have any real feelings for his Angel, his Lilith, but was she not his? Fated? Marked to never be his equal, never be his match, but a pale imitation of his EVE?

ADAM took a drag from his cigarette, eyes roving over the screens. The replay of Langa, Snow’s debut played across one screen, direct opposite from a stored clip from months back of you attempting the same move set. It was comical, poetic- Langa could land what you couldn’t. Langa could move with the grace you lacked. Here was the woman he was supposed to marry, out classed by a child. A child who might just be the only one on the same level as himself.

Ironic. Poetic. ADAM held no real desire to see you fail, quite the opposite. He wanted to see you rise. Since you fell and broke your leg back then you’d been too timid, too afraid of pain and failure to even attempt the things you’d once done without a second thought. He wanted to see you enter Eden with him again- see the brilliance shine in your eyes as you lost yourself to skating like he did. See the way your lips parted in awe, they way your chest heaved with your breaths, the delicate strain of your calves as your feet held firm on the deck, the way your brows tightened, your body became as coil spring of raw explosive power-

ADAM pawed at his cock through the costume, cock hard, the image of that night still burned into his memory. You’d been glorious. Radiant and every inch the divine angel sent from the heavens he’d known you’d one day be. But then you lost yourself in the clouds, didn’t turn soon enough and arched too wide. The loud clang of the guardrail, the thunderous crack of wood and then, bone. You hadn’t screamed, you’d simply lay on the forest floor, a doll bent at an odd angle, tears flowing from eyes now dull with pain and lost light.

He’d seen you reach Eden. He’d been right there with you- just to turn and find you gone, slipped away. Wings clipped, and when he reached the road’s end, he saw them carting your body towards the ambulance and felt cheated. You’d been right there with him, following him in perfect sync. In harmony. After so many years of careful cultivation, of mindfully teaching while teasing of the possibilities, he finally saw you rise and join him in paradise just to faulter and shatter his dream.

You were supposed to marry Ainosuke, a man who even he knew was standoffish, narcissistic, and frankly, selfish. He’d long ago cast off his moral quandaries about himself. It was best he was honest with who and what he’d been molded into. You were the caged songbird, the princess in the tower, looking out behind the bars and seeking someone to set you free.

Just why when he became ADAM, he so wanted you to become his EVE. To become the one you looked to, to see how much he adored you and your potential, to know how much he loved how weak and helpless you were, how he loved how you clung to him, depended on him, yearned for him, even as he was cruel and terrible- you were to be his EVE, his equal. He couldn’t be your prince charming. He could never unlock your cage as Ainosuke. You and he had parts to play after all. Images to upkeep and pretend in the eyes of the world. But at S, through skating, he could offer you everything, anything.

ADAM, moaned into the room, fisting his cock as he watched you skate behind Cherry, smiling, looking more like you had before your accident, before you fell and had your wings clipped.

You were supposed to be his EVE, but as stood you’d become his Lilith. Not his equal, but his vice. His curse. Doomed to always chase him but never reach him. You now flit from man to man like a demoness letting them defile you and your purity, letting them lead you on with false promises and even more false affections. They saw only you, not the EVE he saw. Not the woman who was a songbird by day and angelic gift from the heavens at night.

But, as he stroked himself hard, as he focused on your face, the one he loved to make cry, the one that made such pretty sounds when he fucked you like a whore, the face that would whimper his name, begging for kisses he’d never give until you were his wife and his EVE-

Cum decorated the screen as he came, thick ropes of cum landing across the flickering image of your face as you ran across the finish line behind Cherry, smiling, laughing, eyes shining and light returning to them.

Ainosuke was a patient man. He had to be in his line of work. You’d barely seen the ugly truth of your newest lover. You had never really broken things off with your other little pet. Soon, they’d end up tearing each other down and with it, bring you down with them.
ADAM would pick up the pieces of you. He’d take what they’d fixed and put it back in place.

Another drag from his almost burnt out cigarette, ADAM looked back at the recording of Snow.
Yes. There might be his EVE, but if all you’d become would be his Lilith that would have to suffice. If he perhaps played things right, the boy might end up being the one to help you regain your wings. Once you had them…

An EVE to play with, and a Lilith to break apart. He would love you either way he told himself. In the end EVE was simply a goal, a role to play, a means to an idyllic end. But if Ainosuke couldn’t have that he’d settle for the next best thing.

He’s settle to see you fall in love with two idiots if only so when they broke your heart you’d come to realize how lucky you were, how good he was for you. How you and he really were a good match. Love was painful after all.
And he did so love to see you crying and in pain.

Chapter Text

You should feel shame. Humiliation. Regret. But as Joe’s hands hold you in place against the painfully rocky wall of the cliffside, his mouth on yours and his tongue shoved into your mouth while Cherry watches, commenting how you deserved a gentler touch than that of a barbaric gorilla, you can’t help the helpless and wanting mewl that the man swallows with savage glee.
After your race with Cherry, a loss on your half but one that felt like a step in the right direction, Joe had wanted to talk with you about what happened. What started out as a simple, if a bit one-sided conversation ended with him once again, telling you he felt for you, going so far as to use the ‘L’ word, and how even if you were with Cherry now, his feelings were not so effervescent, he would still feel the way he did, and if you ever needed him, even just as a friend, he would be there. By the end of the conversation, you wanted to say you were all messed up. That you liked him, maybe even loved him too. That you felt such things for Ainosuke still, even knowing you shouldn’t. That Kaoru made you feel safe and wanted and didn’t make you feel dirty or hurt but you still felt that way anyway? That you liked being with him, and you couldn’t give Joe the devotion he deserved.

Then Kaoru had to appear and tell you to tell Joe those feelings, commanded even. Like a flower wilting in the heat of the sun, you did just that.

And now Joe, Kojiro, was feeling you up against the rocky hillside while Kaoru gently pet your hair, telling you if you couldn’t use your words, to show Kojiro just how you felt.
You shouldn’t mewl his name, begging for another kiss, moaning into his mouth as his hands groped at your ass. You shouldn’t feel your heart flutter as Kaoru called you beautiful and sweet. You were very literally between two men, three technically. And yet when your kiss ended with Kojiro, the stick spit stands connecting your lips, you couldn’t help but turn and look to Kaoru, leaning towards him and kiss him too. You shouldn’t have rocked your hips over Kojiro’s leg, riding his thigh as he groaned and said he wasn’t going to let you walk away from him again. You shouldn’t have let Kaoru pull you into his arms, back to his chest, shirt pulled up to expose your breasts to Kojiro’s gaze as Kaoru’s fingers delved between your legs, playing with your soaking wet pussy and sensitive clit.

Your emotions were all over the place, and when Kaoru ordered you to come on his fingers the soft plaintive cry was loud in your own ears, and when you dared to look at the in front of you, Kojiro looked ready to grab you and fuck you himself.
“You’re playing dirty Kaoru, she’s barely together-“

“Our princess likes it when I’m in control.” Fingers under your chin, you were limp in his arms, languid in the aftershocks of orgasm. “Besides, she likes you and still wants you too- don’t you?” He asked, addressing you and Kojiro both. The plainness he spoke of, the truth burned with equal shame and desire.

“I… want you both.” A selfish thing, to want what you couldn’t, shouldn’t have. Yet even so, how did you end up naked in Kojiro’s bed later on? Body bent in half as he trust down, cock kissing the deepest parts of you, pussy swollen and tender from him working you open, stretching you over his girth and fucking you like he wanted to break you. Kaoru said he could share for now, that after you ‘tasted’ Kojiro he expected you back at his place for round two, that he still had a few dates lined up with you, but you deserved to know what it was like with other men, with men like Kojiro, who didn’t play the same games he did. Kaoru said Kojiro was good for fucking and cuddling, but not much else.

Yet as he fucked you in a mating press, grunting, growling and holding you down as you felt his balls slap you ass, wet with pre and pussy juices, you wanted to be fucked. You wanted him to break you, make you stupid over his dick, you liked how he manhandled you, how he could so easily move your body to his whims, how he could overpower you.

Two orgasms in and you cried when he kissed you, your orgasm hitting you like a hammer as his cock slathered your walls with his come.
“Baby you feel so good-“ He moaned in your ear, holding you in the mating press, groaning as you both felt his come sink down into your body- and you shuddered, thinking of it going right into your womb, filling you up, staying inside you for hours, maybe days with how much he could fuck into you and how you’d happily let him.
“Look baby, look how fucking good you take me, take my cock- I’m so deep- fuck.” Kojiro rocked his body, your legs practically thrown over his shoulders as he made sure your head bent just enough to see how stretched open you pussy was over his dick- how his pubic hair was matted down with your combined fluids and the messy white splatter decorated your pink and red swollen lips.

You moaned as he took his time inside your body, getting soft but not before whispering all the filthy things he wanted to do to you next time. Preferably after a date. He was tender even after the rough animalistic fucking he put you through. Warm washcloth taking away sweat and stray sperm between your legs, a teasing tone as he commented how he didn’t need to plug you with a toy ‘you body was just perfect- all my cum went deep, right inside where it’s supposed to be.’ Water and some crackers, an offer for him to go get the morning after pill, (you said yes, after all, you didn’t have any other reliable birth control… and you hated how you were a whore enough to like being fucked raw).

Kojiro even went so far as to tuck you in bed, curling up beside you, arm slung over your body, cuddling as the night got longer and sleep threatened to overtake you entirely. You knew you played with fire. That being out so late, so long, that your parents might find out, that you were risking everything sleeping over- you had to stay up, stay awake, ask for a ride home-

Yet you never could recall what it felt like to be held so gently. To feel someone holding you, calm and warm and feeling safe, like it was okay. You fell asleep.

And you woke up to a nightmare.

26 missed calls. A missing person’s report. Kojiro answering the door to police who wanted to know if they’d seen you. Cherry, Kaoru, calling, texting Kojiro to inform him the police had also shown up at his place.
You’d been so careful to hide who you were, hide your identity. All it took was one night, one mistake- You cried when you realized your only out, the only one who could lie and cover for you, who could make it all go away.

You hid yourself in Kojiro’s bathroom, shower running as you called him, hands shaking, vomit boiling in your chest. He let it ring four times before he answered.

“My dog will pick you up in 15 minutes.” No other words. Just a command, an order unspoken. He knew, (of course he knew). “If it’s any consolation, it seems one of the women at S reported you missing, most likely thinking to get back at Joe or Cherry. But, it works out for me at the end so I can’t complain.” The long breath, he was smoking.
“I’m not doing this because I love you.” You cried as the shower ran, hiding your shame, hiding the truth from Kojiro who was so worried for you, who was busy, frantic, trying to work with Cherry and a few other skaters to find a way to get you home and make a cover story for you-

“I’m doing this because they’re going to move the date.” Hot steam around you did nothing to stop the ice crushing your heart and stopping your lungs.

“You have 3 months more of freedom Lilith.” He hissed into the phone.
“Enjoy them while they last.”

In the end the shower water grew cold. Kojiro slammed on the door, screamed to know you were okay. He broke it getting in. Vaguely, you made a note to send him a check so he could have it fixed.

You didn’t look at him or his face, you didn’t look at Kaoru who stood in the splintered doorframe, worry and concern etched in his features. You didn’t look at them, didn’t say the words that crawled up you throat. You just pushed them away. You put on the same outfit from the night before, the outfit you wore to S. You ignored their raised voices, they gentle, pleading touches, their genuine concern and offers to help you, to cover for you, to get you away, let you escape the cage that awaited you in the form of Ainosuke’s car, Tadashi holding the door open for you, pity and knowing in his gaze.

The leather seats were cold on your body, the man who sat across from you looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“You understand what must be done yes?” He asked, as if you had a choice. “I thought you’d have been smart enough not to spend the night, much less at his place but then, you never were good at thinking logically.” Cruelty slipped in as he sneered behind the veil of smoke he breathed out. “Was his dick worth it? Were they worth it?”

You look out the window as buildings and car fly past, as you see them give way to the roads you know lead to home. As you see reporters at the fringes of the neighborhood, as one spots the car, and dread twists you insides as Ainosuke’s question is given thought.

You strip out of your S gear in the car. Put on the simple dress he hands you. You don’t hide the marks left behind by Kaoru, by Kojiro. It will be obvious what you’ve done.
Just not with who.

As you pull into the driveway you look to the man who profess to love and see in his eyes nothing but anger, anger and hate.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper it to him and him alone.
Ainosuke’s expression hardens, he hides it behind a mask before he steps out of the vehicle, a new mask in place. Cameras snap and click as you follow him, his coat draped over you as he ushers you inside, takes you home.

Everyone thinks you and Ainosuke have been caught together. That childhood lovers and the engagement delayed has made you both impatient, acting on lustful, youthful passions. Your parents threaten to move the date to tomorrow, to cover up the shame, to hide their whoring daughter’s impurity. Ainosuke says they’ve moved the date often enough. That he wants the summer wedding. That his feelings for you haven’t changed. That he’s felt the same thing for you since he was young.

You see what they don’t. The loathing. The hatred. The anger. The resentment.

In the end there is no reprimand. No bars on the windows. Nothing will change, only that Tadashi will escort all dates more closely. That now you won’t be left alone with Ainosuke. You engagement will be announced, along with the wedding date.

You don’t think of how much it hurts. Of how badly you want to not be broken. To have been loyal, good, skilled enough, strong enough, to have been what Ainosuke needed, wanted. It hurts to know, to hear the truth. The man you love doesn’t love you back. He never has.

The burner phone lays abandoned on Kojiro’s bathroom floor.
As is a foil packet, unopened.

Forgotten.

Left behind just like your dream of a happy ending.