Chapter Text
Tine's POV:
"You can't be serious, Tine," Fong said, trying to remain calm despite the worry in his voice.
"Then what should I do, Fong? I'm scared. I'm so scared he'll wake up one day and leave me for someone else, someone who is good enough for him. If that day ever comes, I won't be able to handle it. I can't live without Sarawat." I replied, voice trembling with fear.
"And you think he could?" Fong asked, giving me a serious look.
"He'll manage somehow. I know him," I said, avoiding his gaze.
"Well, you clearly don't know him as well as you think," Fong sighed. "God, he spent an entire year searching for you, Tine. He didn't even know your name, and still, he wrote you a damn song." Fong's disbelief was evident in his voice.
"He'll lose his goddamn mind if you ever leave him" Fong continued, giving me a hard look.
"Fong, I can't keep up with the fear that one day he'll realize he's too good for me," I said, my voice raising with frustration.
"So, you're thinking of ending things before he even has a chance to?" Fong asked, clearly bewildered.
I nodded slowly, feeling ashamed and foolish as I heard the words out loud. "I know he can find someone way better than me who deserves him more. And that someone is not me," I said, looking down at my hands, just now noticing how badly they were shaking.
"Have you considered that what he wants is to be with you, not someone else?" Fong inquired as he firmly held onto my hands, in an attempt to calm their nervous tremble.
I glanced up at him, not knowing what to say.
"Listen, the best way to put your mind at ease is to talk to Sarawat and be honest with him about your thoughts and emotions, even if you think they're silly. I promise you, Tine, he'll understand," Fong softly voiced, trying to reassure me.
"Trust me, Tine. He loves you so much, it's crazy to watch. He'll even go to the moon and back if you asked him to," Fong added with a chuckle, trying to lighten up the mood.
"He's had enough of my shit this past month. I don't want to be a burden to him, more than I already am," I said, more to myself than to Fong.
"Sarawat will never see you as a burden, Tine. He truly loves you. He values every part of who you are, even your insecurities," Fong spoke in a gentle tone, nearly causing me to miss his words. "He will go to great lengths to bring you back to him whenever you wander, to comfort you when you doubt yourself, and to constantly show how deeply he loves you. And he will never tire of doing so," Fong continued, his words resonating deeply within my heart.
"But then again, you can be quite a handful for me, Ohm, and Ph-," he jokingly began, only to be interrupted by my playful swat on his arm. "I could keep naming more people, but let's just stick with the three for now," he ended with a lighthearted laugh.
His expression becoming serious once again, "Tine, when it comes to love, honesty and trust are of the utmost importance," Fong stated, looking me dead in the eye as he held my hands.
"If you don't trust Sarawat enough to have an open and honest conversation with him, then maybe you're not ready for a relationship. And if you don't believe that he loves you for who you are, then maybe you don't truly understand the depth of his feelings for you." earnestly said.
He gently squeezed my hands, offering me comfort, "It's crucial to remember that love involves embracing each other's imperfections and uncertainties. It's about being a source of support and being there for one another, no matter the circumstances. If you're afraid of losing him, then communicate with him openly about it."
Fong released my hands and looked at me with a soft smile, "You two are meant to be together, Tine. Don't let fear and insecurity ruin that. Have an open and honest conversation with him, I promise it will make all the difference in the world."
I was aware that Fong was correct, but my thoughts were overshadowed by self-doubt and anxiety. Despite my best efforts to heed Fong's advice, my uncertainties only intensified. I sighed heavily.
"Fong, will you help me or not?" I inquired, growing increasingly restless.
"You're letting your emotions get the best of you," Fong explained. "You're jumping to conclusions and imagining scenarios that don't exist. And making decisions without consulting the other person is not right."
"I can't let my fears hold back what could be a great relationship. It would be unfair to him, and I wouldn't want to do that to someone who deserves so much more," I said with a heavy sigh. "He deserves someone who won't hold him back."
"You're not doing him justice," Fong pointed out.
I knew Fong was right, yet my uncertainties remained. "So, are you going to help me or not?" I asked, frustration creeping into my voice
"You're being ridiculous, Tine," Fong said, shaking his head.
"So what?" I asked.
"So what? Do you even hear yourself? You're making up things in your head and deciding on your own, without even talking to Sarawat. You're being selfish," Fong said, looking at me in disbelief.
"Fong, I can't keep tying him down because of my insecurities," I said my voice breaking.
"Tine, that's not your decision to make. You need to talk to Sarawat and work through these insecurities together. Don't make a hasty decision based on your fears, that you will regret for the rest of your life. That's not fair to either of you," Fong said, his voice softening.
I sighed, feeling drained from this conversation. "Fong, for the last time, are you helping me or not?" I asked, almost pleading.
"I'm here for you, Tine" Fong replied, his tone gentle. "but I can't support your foolish decision that will only end up hurting Sarawat. He deserves better than that, and you know it" Fong said firmly.
I felt anger rise within me. "Are you my friend or his?" I asked, standing up from my seat.
"If doing the right thing means being his friend, then I choose to be his friend," Fong replied, his resolve unwavering.
"Fine," I said, heading towards the door. "It was nice knowing you, Fong," I said, opening the door and storming out, slamming it behind me.
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As I walked onto the football field, I couldn't help but feel my heart drop. I knew if I spoke to him, I wouldn't be able to hold back my tears, so I chose to observe Sarawat from a distance instead.
The feeling of loss grew stronger as I saw him laughing with Man, his smile shining brighter than the sun. The thought that this would be the last time I would ever see him laugh, talk, and smile, was too much to bear, that the tears threatened to spill over.
I was so caught up in my head that I didn't notice Boss pointing at me, nor Sarawat's gaze shifting to look in my direction with a smile.
Before I knew it, he was jogging toward me, still wearing that beautiful smile that I adored so much, my heart skipped a beat. I rubbed my eyes quickly, hoping to hide the remnants of my tears, and forced out a smile as he approached.
"What are you doing here? Don't you have cheerleading practice? Or did you miss me too much?" he teased with a playful smirk. Again, I forced out a chuckle, trying to hide the sadness that was consuming me. "It got canceled."
Sarawat's eyes narrowed as he looked at me closely. "Did you cry?" he asked softly, his voice filled with concern. My heart raced and my anxiety levels rose as I felt the pressure of his gaze.
Sarawat gently brushed his thumb across my red, teary eyes as I stammered, "N-No, nothing like that." Despite my attempts to sound convincing, the high pitch of my voice betrayed me as I added, "I'm just feeling a bit chilly."
Although my excuse was flimsy, Sarawat remained unconvinced. He took my freezing hands in his own and rubbed them gently to warm me up, tugging at my heartstrings with his tender touch. Despite knowing that I was lying, he did it anyway.
"Really, Tine, what's going on?" he asked again, eyes searching mine for answers. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, knowing that Sarawat wouldn't let this go easily.
"I'm just worried about my midterms," I finally admitted truthfully – or at least, half truthfully. I was indeed worried about my grades, but that wasn't my main concern at the moment.
A warm smile spread across Sarawat's face, causing his eyes to crinkle at the corners. "No need to worry," he said, his voice soothing. "You probably did great; you always do, Tine. Just like everything else," He said, trying to reassure me. But the words only served to remind me of what I was about to lose, and my heart ached with a sadness I couldn't express.
My emotions overwhelmed me, and I wrapped my arms around him, unconcerned with the people nearby. He staggered slightly but then let out a hearty laugh, seeming to find my sudden outburst of affection both amusing and endearing, as it was a rare occurrence outside of our home.
My face nestled into the curve of his neck as I fought back tears. I inhaled his scent, wanting to commit every detail of him to memory. The way he smelled, the feel of his embrace, the sound of his laughter - I wanted to hold onto it all before I had to leave.
I made sure to brush away any tears before gazing at him face-to-face, all the while keeping him tightly in my embrace.
"You sure yo-" Before he could finish his sentence, I silenced him with a kiss, pouring all my emotions into it. It dawned on me that this might be the last kiss we ever share, and with that realization, a wave of sadness and fear washed over me.
Despite his surprise, I didn't stop - I needed him to know just how much he meant to me.
He was taken aback, not just because I had initiated the kiss, but also due to the public setting.
Yet, he eagerly responded with equal intensity, our kiss was charged with emotions and unspoken thoughts, a million sentiments of love and promises that we silently made to each other in that moment.
I poured my heart and soul into the kiss, longing for him to feel the depth of my love.
As we broke the kiss, still embracing each other, we gasped for air, cherishing every moment in each other's arms.
"I'm not complaining, but is everything alright?" Sarawat asked, still catching his breath from the kiss.
"You're not one to show affection in public." I couldn't help but smile, though it was tinged with sadness, knowing he was right. I regretted not showing him the love and affection he deserved sooner.
But for now, I wanted to make the most of the time we had left and show him just how much he meant to me, even if it was for the last time.
"Can't I show my boyfriend some love every now and then?" I said with a playful smile, momentarily forgetting that I would be breaking this man's heart the very next day.
Sarawat's grin was wide and wicked. "I'd actually love it if you did that more often," he teased, before pulling me into another deep kiss. My heart ached with love for him, even as I knew I was breaking it.
As much as I wanted to continue, I knew I had to put a stop to it. "Your teammates are probably waiting for you," I whispered against his lips, trying to catch my breath.
Sarawat shrugged indifferently. "They can wait," he said, his lips moving over my face in a slow, tender dance. He kissed every inch of my skin, savoring each moment.
When he reached the spot just behind my ear, I knew what was coming. His breath tickled me and I couldn't help but let out a genuine giggle. I felt him smile against my skin before he placed another sweet kiss on the very same spot.
"Come on, Wat," I said, feeling flustered by the attention of the audience that had formed on the football field and was now whistling. Sarawat, however, was oblivious to their presence due to his back facing the field. "We can continue this later," I added, though deep down, I knew that 'later' would never come.
"Promise me you'll wait for me," he said in a hushed tone, hope shining in his eyes as he pressed his forehead to mine. Despite the weight of his request, I couldn't bring myself to deny him, and my heart sank with the knowledge that this promise was likely to be broken.
"I promise," I whispered, barely audible, feeling suffocated and unable to say anything more.
"I love you," He said with that blinding smile of his, a smile that had captured my heart from the very beginning. He gave me one last kiss on the corner of my lips before running back to the field, not even waiting to hear my response.
As he walked away, tears streamed down my face, and I knew in my heart that I was shattering his. With a heavy heart, I turned to leave, painfully aware that I was leaving behind the person I loved more than anything in this world.
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Fong's POV:
As lunchtime rolled around, my mind was consumed by the memories of the fight I had with Tine the night before. I couldn't help but feel guilty for letting him leave in such a state. I knew that I should have talked to him and helped him calm down, instead of getting caught up in the heat of the moment.
Lost in thought, I didn't notice Ohm and Phuak approaching our usual table.
"Oh, Hey Fong," Ohm said as he sat beside me, breaking my train of thought. "Have you seen Tine? I've been trying to reach him since this morning."
"He's probably still sleeping," I replied absentmindedly, trying to ignore the thought that Tine might be avoiding us because of our argument.
"Wasn't he staying at your place last night?" Phuak said looking at me with curiosity in his eyes.
"Yeah, he was, but he left--" I began, but the realization hit me like a truck, and I stopped mid-sentence. My eyes widened in shock, and my mind raced with worry. No, Tine, you didn't.
I stood up abruptly, causing both Ohm and Phuak to startle. Without uttering a single word, I made my way to the admission office to confirm my suspicion.
After getting the confirmation I needed, I muttered, "Tine, you idiot" as I dialed his number and cursed him with every swear word I could think of.
Just then, I heard a familiar voice calling out my name from behind me. I cursed under my breath, knowing exactly who it was, before turning around with a forced smile.
"Hey, Sarawat," I said, trying to keep my composure despite the growing sense of panic inside of me.
"Have you seen Tine? He's not answering my calls, and I haven't seen him this morning. I was wondering if you knew anything since he stayed over at your place," Sarawat asked, attempting to remain composed but failing as frustration overtook him. My palms grew sweaty as I gulped, cursing Tine internally for putting me in this shitty situation.
Tine Teepakorn, I've never hated you more than I do right now,