Chapter Text
“So, have you had sex with him yet?” Alex asked as Paul took a sip of tea, which the nurse had forced on him when Paul had come into the medical trailer.
Paul didn’t know why he was surprised - Alex was about as subtle as a herd of geese, which the scout had learned during his brief and misguided fling with the nurse when he’d first come to the Hilltop - but he nevertheless nearly chocked on his scolding sip of tea before swallowing it down painfully. He hadn’t let the drink cool down enough in his haste to leave the trailer.
“I don’t see what that has to do with which medical supplies we’re running low on, Alex,” Paul replied, trying to make his burnt tongue sound as stern as he could.
The nurse grinned smugly behind his chipped mug of tea, an expression Paul knew from experience meant that Alex was having fun and didn’t intend to stop.
“I’ll take that as a no then. I’m surprised, rumour has it he’s been spending nights in your trailer.”
People at this place have nothing to talk about but crops and sex, thought Paul in exasperation, even when no sex was being had. It was true that Daryl visited his trailer some nights, but all they did was talk, drink and make out. Daryl had yet to stay the night. Paul had never felt more at home, more content, more at peace with the world then he did with the archers’ arms around him - and that had only a little to do with the man’s biceps. Paul decided not to encourage Alex and blew at his tea as he gestured to the short list of medical supplies on the desk. “What else is needed, we’re leaving for this run first thing in the morning.”
“And you’ve been dating awhile, right? Since before Hershel was born, I heard,” the gossip continued as if Paul hadn’t spoken.
The scout ground his teeth together as he stared at the damp wall of the trailer like he wanted to burn through it with his gaze alone.
“And that was months ago. You had me in bed practically days after we met.” The nurse took a gulp of his tea with relish and let out a self-congratulating little chuckle.
This was unfortunately true. Paul came to the Hilltop after months - which felt like years - outside, during which he witnessed his entire group get bit, get sick, or be slaughtered until he was the only one left. He hadn’t felt human anymore, and he’d thought Alex - with his suggestive smiles and lingering eyes - might have helped. It hadn’t helped. He had felt the same during and after and could barely remember what it had felt like to be with Alex as soon as it was over. He continued feeling like something pretending to be human until he was being chased by a rugged stranger through a field one disastrous day.
But Alex couldn’t seem to let their one-night stand go and mentioned it whenever he got the chance, despite repeatedly being turned down for a repeat performance.
“I’m not talking about Daryl with you, and I don’t want to talk about mistakes that happened a long time ago, so if that’s all we’re short on, I’ll be going now.” This conversation was giving the scout a headache and his tongue still hurt.
Paul went to grab the list of supplies, but Alex grabbed it first. As he scribbled a few more items down he said mockingly with a tinge of anger, “So things aren’t as perfect as they seem, are they, Jesus.”
Paul wanted to say that things where perfect, that Daryl was the first man he’d ever had a relationship with who he could see spending the rest of his life with, and if all they ever did in that life was play cards and hold hands, he would be happy. But Daryl barely talked about their relationship, and it felt wrong to talk about it with someone who was only trying to get rise out of him.
“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Alex,” he said as he took back the list and left the trailer, his mug of tea abandoned on the desk and his tongue now throbbing.
With the door firmly closed on Alex’s scowling face, Paul looked up in time to see Daryl’s leather clad back retreating around the corner of Barrington house.
-*-
It started slowly, unexpectedly, his and Daryl’s relationship. Of course, Paul had admired the strong and silent redneck from a safe distance, sighing about his biceps and admiring his commitment to his family since before the war.
During the war they fought alongside each other, taking down saviours with frightening efficiency, a brilliant team despite their disagreements on the treatment of surrendering saviours. That was where Paul learned to admire Daryl’s strength and loyalty, where he learned that, despite everything, Daryl was a good man who would risk his own life to save his family’s. And even a guy he barely knew, he added on after Daryl saved his life on the battlefield more the once. It was also where he learned that he was willing to risk his life for Daryl’s too. Which had initially frightened him more than the bullets raining down around them, or the saviour waving a knife at him, or even the walker inches from his face. Never before had he fought with someone, like he had with Daryl. Paul was a lone scout, and he was the one they sent in on solo missions, to sneak in and take, kill or gather intelligence as quiet and unnoticed as an ambiguous shadow. But fighting with Daryl evoked such intense emotions within him that, off of the battlefield, he didn’t know what to say to Daryl or where to look. Maybe Daryl felt the same way, as he never spoke to Paul unless it was necessary or looked his way during the short lulls in fighting. It was strange. They’re relationship was so fierce when they fought together, and so right and easy and intense - Paul recalled Daryl’s body pressing him in to the ground after he tackled him out of the way of a wave of bullets, he remembered the look he would be given when he saved Daryl’s life in return, he had dreams about the sounds the redneck made when they were close together waiting out an attack behind a car or wall - but any other time you would have called them strangers.
It wasn’t until after the war, when a routine was established, that they began to talk. Quiet conversation during guard duty that ended in quiet laughter. Supply run’s that ran as smoothly as a well-oiled machine because they worked so well together, were so in tune when both focused on the same task or machine. They talked about the plans for Hilltop in the future, way’s they could plant more, expand more, places they could scavenge for vital supplies, like lumber and bricks for the houses they could build and to expand the wall. They talked about their mutual friends. The friends they had lost, the ones they could not save. It seemed almost easy to talk about with Daryl, and he knew enough about Daryl to know that talking about his family wasn’t something he did with everyone. It made him glow inside to think that Daryl thought him worthy enough to know about the people that he loved.
Then one day Paul injured himself on a run. It was his own fault, embarrassingly. They were scavenging for medical supplies at a vet clinic, stocking up for when Hershel was to be born, just making sure they had everything they needed. They had already confirmed the place was empty of walkers and collected most of the supplies into a bag, and Paul was showing off. His juggling skills, of all things. He was juggling empty pill bottles, and Daryl was trying his best to scowl at him but a smile was battling it’s way through. Paul wanted Daryl to smile so badly, he would have done anything for Daryl to smile in that moment.
“Stop it, you idiot, we have a job to do,” Daryl told him sternly as he squinted at a half-full pill bottle. He needed glasses, Paul was sure of it, a fact that Paul liked to tease Daryl about occasionally.
“You’re just jealous of my numerous talents,” Paul grinned. Then he decided to demonstrate how he could walk backwards and still juggle. And promptly tripped over an uneven floorboard, scratching his forearm on an exposed nail all the way down.
Paul hissed and grabbed his arm, shooting back to his feet instinctively. Daryl was right in front of him, reaching for his arm, inspecting it. “Huh, see, you’re an idiot,” Daryl breathed through a chuckle, looking into Paul’s eyes with a small, affectionate smile on his lips. “It looks fine, but we should clean it just in case,” he added.
Thrilling inside at Daryl’s proximity and smile, impulsively Paul said, “It might need to be kissed better too.” He instantly wanted to die.
And then Daryl bent his head down and softly brushed his lips along the scratch. Paul had to consciously keep his mouth from dropping open.
“Better?”
Paul nodded dumbly. They quietly grabbed the last of the supplies, and left the vet with a full bag of supplies, still in their sterile wrapping, as well as many bottles of medication. Paul noted a pink tinge to Daryl’s cheek that didn’t go away until they were in the car. Daryl silently got the first aid kit and with gentleness and care cleaned Paul’s wound and covered it with dressing.
As he did, Paul said “This doesn’t seem necessary.”
“Risking an infection doesn’t seem necessary,” countered Daryl.
This time Paul blushed at the implication that Daryl cared whether Paul’s wound got infected or not. Paul admired Daryl at work, watched the concentration in his face and his deft fingers at work. When he was done, Daryl looked back up at Paul and Paul didn’t look away. And when Daryl didn’t break eye contact first, as he was prone to do, Paul leaned in and pressed his lip’s to Daryl’s.
Daryl was still as Paul moved his lip’s gently against his. Paul’s stomach was in knots, his lips almost trembled. Daryl didn’t seem to be reacting and he was scared he had crossed a line. But before he could pull away Daryl started moving his lips in response to Paul’s. A flood of euphoria pulsed through Paul’s veins. He reached up to Daryl’s hair, pulling him deeper in to the kiss, gently touching his tongue to Daryl’s. At this Daryl pulled back, taking in a gasp of air, not meeting Paul’s eye’s, moving back in his seat so he was facing the steering wheel.
Their breathing slowly evened in the silence of the car.
“Was that okay?” Paul couldn’t help but ask. He had suspected that Daryl was attracted to him, had seen his gave linger, had noticed his disinterested in the women that flirted with him. But he also knew Daryl’s background and understood that he may not want to face any attraction he had for Paul and Paul didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Daryl. Paul saw Daryl visibly swallow and it seemed difficult for him to respond.
“That was … That was ... I don’t have words for what that was, but it was more then okay, Paul.” He stared straight ahead when he said it, but Paul didn’t doubt his earnestness.
They’d drove home in comfortable silence.
-*-
That was two months ago, since then they’d only gotten closer. They didn’t walk around hand in hand, but people knew they were together. Daryl’s family seem overjoyed that Daryl had found someone. Paul was certain they knew as Maggie had informed Paul that she was happy for the both of them, whilst also letting Paul know how important Daryl’s happiness was to everyone in the family in a slightly frightening way.
The time they spent alone was as natural as breathing, and Paul hadn’t felt pressure to push it any further. Of course, he wanted Daryl in every possible way, but he wasn’t discontented with what they did together. They kissed on run’s, hot and sweaty in the backseat of the car, but didn’t dawdle out in the open. And they kissed at night in Paul’s trailer, on the night’s that Paul invited Daryl over. Then they only saw each over on run’s, when they where together for guard duty and at meal times. The rest of the time Paul was busy helping Maggie run Hilltop and Daryl was busy with overseeing the expansion of the wall. They were, I guess you could call it, dating.
Paul found Daryl back in their trailer, sat at the foot of the bed. Paul launched into an explanation straightaway.
“I’m sorry about Alex, he’s a dick, I’ll tell him when we get back from the run that our relationship has nothing to do with him- “
“I didn’t know you two had slept together so soon,” Daryl interrupted. He didn’t sound angry, he sounded … lost. Paul was surprised, had thought for sure that all the details of his and Alex’s brief fling was still in the gossip mill at Hilltop.
“It was a long time ago, long before we were together.”
Daryl was silent. Paul drifted closer. “There is nothing between us, if that what your worried about. It was a mistake, I can barley stand him anymore.”
Daryl was still silent, and Paul decided to give him time to answer. He sat down beside him on the bed. Surprisingly, Daryl turned to Paul and started to aggressively kiss him. Relieved that Daryl wasn’t angry at him, Paul kissed him back. Daryl had become skilled at kissing since they started to do it regularly and soon Paul was breathless with Daryl above him on the bed. Their tongues glided together and Paul’s hands twisted in Daryl’s hair. Daryl’s hands were under his shirt, gripping Pauls hips. It wasn’t until Daryl’s hand’s drifted to Paul’s belt buckle that he began to rethink the direction the conversation had taken, despite the thrill that went through him. He really wanted Daryl to continue. As a result, it wasn’t until his belt buckle was undone and zipper down until he reacted.
“Wait, Daryl stop, “ he panted.
“Why, don’t you want to?”
“I do, it’s just Alex-“
“What has what we do have to do with Alex?”
“Nothing, it’s just, I think we should talk about what you overheard?” It came out as a question. Paul had no idea what Daryl was thinking at all. Was he jealous? Hurt? Angry?
Daryl scowled and sat back up. Paul followed him.
“I… I just,” Daryl mumbled. Paul reached over to hold his hand and squeezed it. He waited patiently for Daryl to continue.
“I just didn’t know we were supposed to have had sex yet.” Daryl said it in a rush, staring down in to his lap.
Shocked, Paul responded earnestly “That’s not true, Daryl. We don’t – I mean there is no timeline. We don’t even have to have sex if you don’t want to!”
Daryl glanced at him doubtfully, a doubt which cleared when Paul steadily held his eye contact.
“I do want to, I just you seemed happy with … with what we have been doing and so was I.”
“I am happy, so so happy, Daryl. Alex was just being a jealous dick.”
“Jealous of what, we haven’t even slept together yet, like you two have.”
Daryl’s tone didn’t indicate jealousy. Instead, it was full of doubt. Was Daryl doubting their relationship? Did he think, because they hadn’t slept together, that their relationship was worth less then the fling he’d had with Alex?
Paul was full of passion when he responded, “Daryl, that was just a meaningless fling. Every touch and kiss we exchange means an infinite amount more then anything I ever did with Alex. Then what I have ever done with anyone. We are in a relationship that I never want to end. I don’t care if we never have sex, I just want to be near you.” Paul caressed Daryl’s cheekbone and held his gaze. He let Daryl process his words.
They never talked about their relationship, and while Paul regretted it took Alex involvement for him to earnestly tell Daryl how he felt, he didn’t regret a single word he had just said to Daryl. He meant every word.
When Daryl leaned in to kiss Paul more, Paul pulled back after a few blissful seconds.
“Do you feel the same way?” He asked with his lip’s still close to Daryl’s. He tried not to let any doubt seep into his voice.
“I think I feel it more then you,” Daryl answered with absolute sincerity, and swooped back into show it the best way he knew how. He kissed Paul so deeply and with so much reverence Paul couldn’t help but moan.