Chapter Text
A gate had been found. Unfortunately, it was locked from the other side.
"LISTEN UP, Y'ALL!"
Clover was unceremoniously dropped into a stool, looking out across the saloon at the crowd of monsters. North Star pat them on the head with a grin, giving them a thumbs up before turning his attention back towards everyone else.
The room fell into hushed whispers as he spoke, seemingly a mixture of amusement and slight disdain at the interruption.
"This here's Clover!" he exclaimed, motioning a hand towards them. They waved politely. "And that's not all!"
The whispering became louder. North Star just pat Clover on the head again.
"Clover here is a human! If y'all don't recall, I'm somethin' of an expert on humans! Their fancy weapons, their shootouts at high noon..."
Someone sitting at the other end of the saloon raised their hand.
"Does it bite?"
"Well, that's-" North Star's voice dropped to a whisper, "Do ya bite?"
...Clover just smiled in response.
"I'll never tell!" they replied.
"Right. I'm sure they won't!"
The quiet discussion amongst the actual paying customers continued for a few moments before, from outside the saloon, Ceroba piped up.
"Oh my god, Star. They're a kid. Every kid bites people, that's what kids do," she said, loudly enough for Clover to hear her perfectly.
"EITHER COME INSIDE OR STAY OUTTA THIS!" North Star retorted, but he was laughing, "Right, right. I'll be keepin' an eye on them while they're here. I'm sure they'll be a model citizen in no time! 'Cause, heck, we all know we've needed a hero, since-"
A loud crash came from outside. Clover could hear Ceroba sigh, saying something they couldn't hear to someone they couldn't identify.
"Well, since that," he clarified immediately, which did not help matters at all, "Relax, it's just part of things. You ain't in danger, Clover."
That was not what they were concerned about whatsoever. They nodded all the same.
"Who, exactly, am I not in danger from..?" they asked.
"Just some old pals. Ain't anything serious. We'll all be fine so long as they don't-"
Another crash, and the door swung open. North Star gave a long, drawn out sigh. He hopped down from the stage, voices following him all the while.
"It's the Four!"
"They're back again?"
"Man, I wanted to finish my drink..."
"Hehehe, can we do a villain intro?" the shortest of the four asked, tugging on the sleeve of- oh, that was the fish monster from earlier!
"I don't see why not," they replied, "Ed? Will you do the honours?"
"Gladly, Moray," he- Ed- cleared his throat, before striking a pose, "Presenting the scourges of the Wild East! The enemies of justice in all its forms-"
"Wait, I thought we were the ones here for justice!" the shortest interrupted.
"Dammit, Mooch, you're right for once. Ignore that part!"
Clover snickered. This was absolutely rich.
"May we get to the point, please?" the fourth said, tugging his hat further down his face.
"If you insist, Ace," Ed replied, "Edward! Moray! Mooch! Ace! We're-"
"Don't say the darn name," North Star threatened(?), hand going to his holster, "I came up with it, I should be able to keep it."
The four of them went silent for a moment, before Mooch stepped forward, a hand resting under her chin.
"We're the Feisty Four!" she declared proudly, causing North Star to let out another long, dramatic sigh, "And we're-"
Ace nudged her, pointing to Clover.
"And we're being replaced," he stated, causing Clover to immediately throw their hands up.
"I dunno what's happenin'!" they replied defensively, "Leave me outta this!"
"Maybe we should believe the kid," Moray whispered, "Keep an eye out for now and all."
"They are just sittin' there..." Ed nodded, "We could come back for 'em at some point..?"
"Ooh, a new heist!" Mooch said, "Sounds fun!"
"You leave Clover out of this!" North Star exclaimed, motioning to them dramatically, "I found the human, I'm gonna be the one to-"
Ace reached forward and tugged North Star's hat down, leaving him temporarily blinded. He didn't react all the while.
"Too many people around right now to do anything," he said with a shrug, "We'll get a chance eventually."
Before North Star could so much as fix his hat, the four of them had turned around and hurried out the door. The saloon quickly returned to regular conversation, like this was simply a regular occurrence that everyone had learned to deal with.
It probably was, now that Clover thought about it. It probably was.
"Alrighty," North Star said, righting himself and making his way back over to them, "That- didn't quite go as planned, but... I s'pose this works! Yer gonna need some trainin', in case they come back, so..."
He went quiet for a moment, scratching his chin thoughtfully. Eventually, he grinned and continued speaking.
"Well, I'll let ya loose for a bit. Come back when yer ready to learn the ways of a real cowpoke!"
He pat Clover on the back, effectively launching them off of the stool and to their feet. They gave him a wave before hopping off the stage and looking around the saloon.
Spotting a particularly disgruntled looking whale, they approached and tilted their head.
"It's the mail system," he lamented before they could even ask, "It's all either vandalized or decrepit, kid! I'm out of a job because of folks not appreciating a good letter anymore!"
"...Sorry?" they replied, not entirely sure what to make of this, "At least you're alive, right?"
"And I don't have to rhyme anymore... Maybe there is some good in this, huh, kid?"
...
Feeling slightly more confused than they were a few seconds ago, Clover walked away from him.
They spoke with a few more of the monsters around; a large group who were seemingly all cheating at poker in different ways, a few tourists who had apparently come from New Home...
("We tried to come through the Steamworks, because that's quicker than going through Waterfall or Hotland. But the door was closed. The only person waiting there didn't seem too happy to have company, so we found another way around. And now we're here! Hope they didn't mind us not telling them..."
"For the best," someone else interjected, "The door only unlocks from this side. You'd just be waiting there until someone opened it.")
It was a happening place, sure, and the noise was starting to wear them down. Giving the saloon a final passing glance, they stepped outside, closing their eyes and enjoying the relative silence for a few minutes.
When Clover opened their eyes, it was to Ceroba glancing over at them, leaning against the wall of the saloon.
"You holding up okay?" she asked, "I get Star can be a lot. If you want, I can tell him to tone it down."
Clover shook their head.
"He's fine. S'just loud in there," they answered, "Thanks, though."
Ceroba nodded, looking out towards the Wild East, seemingly focused on the bell in the centre of town. Or she was just staring into space. It was hard to tell.
"This town's gotten a lot bigger in recent years. I don't think Chujin could have ever anticipated this..." she trailed off, shaking her head, "Apologies. I'm thinking out loud."
"Who?"
"...He was my husband, until he..." Seeing Clover's expression of concern, she raised a paw to stop them, "Don't worry too much about me, Clover. It's been years, and... well, every day is easier than the last."
Still, they couldn't help a frown.
"Loss still hurts."
Ceroba's eyes widened, and she slowly bowed her head, letting out a sigh.
"It does. I suppose, then, that you've..?"
"Ah- well-"
Clover didn't like talking about it; they couldn't even really remember, it was stupid to still feel upset about it. They nodded, but then hurriedly searched for a different conversation topic. Hopefully she wouldn't pry.
"Why're ya standin' out here and not in there?" they asked.
"Oh. I'm banned from there. Unofficially," Ceroba answered, pulling a flask out from a pocket and taking a drink from it, "Once the saloon's business stopped being 50% me, Dina and I agreed it would be... preferable if I did not return."
"What about that, then?" They pointed at the flask.
"This? It's fruit juice. It's lukewarm and tastes awful, but it's a replacement."
Huh.
They settled into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Once their mood felt a little more normal and a little less overwhelmed, they waved goodbye to Ceroba and walked back into the saloon, where-
A skeleton who almost certainly was not there when they left was sitting at what was an empty seat, sipping at a drink. He turned to them and winked.
"heya. you're a human, huh?" he asked.
...Clover didn't trust this guy. Something felt off about him.
"nah. don't worry about me. once every five years is enough for this skeleton."
He finished his drink (somehow) and reached in his pocket, inexplicably handing Clover a root beer before standing up and leaving.
They stared at where he was for a few confusing seconds before walking across the length of the saloon and tugging on North Star's poncho. He looked down at them, flashing them a grin.
"Well if it ain't the kid of the hour!" he said cheerfully, "Ready to begin yer first mission, then?"
"I guess!" Clover replied.
North Star nodded, leading them outside and ringing the bell a few times. For... some reason. He tipped his hat and cleared his throat, making a sweeping gesture around the Wild East.
"Alrighty! So, first things first, ya gotta-"
"Are you really sending them out looking like that?" someone called out from across the fence separating the Wild East from the rest of the Dunes. Ace, apparently.
"Well... yes?" North Star replied, scratching the back of his head, "Somethin' wrong about it?"
"Their hat's frayed and that gun's a toy. You don't have an apprentice, you have a joke. No offence to you, though, Clover."
Well, that felt a little rude.
"ALREADY ON IT!" he answered, "C'mon, Clover, I think I have a hat somewhere..."
They watched North Star rummage through his pockets, eventually (somehow) pulling out a hat that looked nearly identical to theirs. They took off their pair of goggles, tying them around the new hat and putting it on.
They felt the exact same, but certainly a little more stylish.
"Thanks," they said, "What about the gun?"
"That's... hm. I have an idea. Follow me."
He led them across town to an old shop, and knocked on the door a few times.
"If that's you, 'Sheriff', I'm busy. You weren't allowed in yesterday and won't be now. If I have to see ya tryin' to stop one more fake heist, I might fall down on the spot," someone yelled from inside.
"C'mon, Blackjack! It's important!" North Star said.
"I'm right in the middle of- can't a guy try to retire in peace?"
"What if we do business out here? Won't even step onto the porch or nothin'!"
...
The door opened, and Blackjack walked out, adjusting his glasses and seeming particularly annoyed.
"Well? Make it quick."
"Alright, no worries!" North Star threw out his arm, gesturing towards Clover proudly, "I was just gonna ask you to sell a gun to this child!"
...Blackjack immediately turned around and went back inside, slamming the door behind him.
"WAIT! That- this ain't a child. Just a very small, but very tough monster! Who needs-"
Silence. North Star sighed.
"I'll give ya 200G," he said, voice suddenly somehow a few pitches higher.
"WELL WHY DIDN'T YA SAY SO, PARDNER?" Blackjack replied, already reopening the door, "Come on inside, I'll get the paperwork!"
Clover was left standing there as North Star went inside the shop. They tapped their fingers against their side a few times, until-
North Star emerged, smile slightly more awkward, and handed them a revolver. They held it in surprise for a few seconds, eventually raising an eyebrow.
"This is for me?" they asked.
"Yup! Use it well. How about..."
He pointed them over to a shooting range.
"Try to hit one of 'em practise dummies. Don't worry, they ain't sentient."
With a firm nod, they stepped to the fence and raised the gun, eyes narrowed. After a moment, they fired; 6 times, each hitting the dummy square in its... chest? They turned back to North Star with a self-satisfied smile.
"How was that?"
"A little terrifyin', actually! But it looks like ya got the hang of it! Just keep that away from anyone who doesn't really deserve it, okay?"
Of course they would. They weren't in a hurry to enact any particular vengeance, and even then this could cause far too much damage...
They followed North Star back to the town square, where he nodded at them.
"Well, I guess that's that, huh? Yer first mission kinda went off track, but at least it'll shut Ace up. We'll get ta something special next time!" he said.
"Sounds good?" they replied, suddenly feeling a little concerned.
"Sure does! Well, ya know where to find me when yer ready!" he called out, already heading back towards the saloon.
They could do that now, but...
Clover looked towards the jail. Wouldn't hurt to check in on Martlet.
They walked inside, seeing three monsters (were they... cups?) in one cell, and...
Martlet sitting in the other cell with the door wide open, apparently acting like she was stuck for good.
"Clover!" she exclaimed, standing up and... still not leaving the cell, "Gosh, it feels like it's been forever!"
"It's... been maybe half an hour?" they said, "Oh well. Are ya... comfortable there?"
"It's not horrible, actually! Four guys broke in and gave me snacks a bit ago!"
...They were still relatively certain this was a prison of Martlet's own making, but they were happy to see their friend alright.
"How about you?" she asked, "Can't help but notice the new hat. You look even more human now!"
...A monster gave them this hat, though???
"Yeah, I'm North Star's new apprentice!" they explained, "He's apparently puttin' me through 'training'. Hasn't really... amount to much, yet."
"Well, that sounds important. If you're in training, I'll wait here! I'll keep trying to find a way out in the meantime!"
Clover gave Martlet a salute, leaving her to her (still very non-existent) imprisonment.
"Alright! Second mission!" North Star exclaimed, clapping his hands together, "Or... what was supposed to be the first one!"
He nodded, leaning against the bell tower with a grin.
"We'll be doin' a proper shootout. With fake guns, of course. It'll be fully safe, you won't have to worry about a-"
A crash sounded from a building nearby, and several gunshots rang out.
"That... was not part of the plan. That could be... hold on, Clover. I may have to deal with that. Sheriff's duty, and all..."
North Star ran forward, yelling a "WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?" as he did.
Well, he'd be busy for a while. They would just-
Before Clover could really move or try to get a better view of what was happening, they found themselves being thrown over Ed's shoulder.
"Got 'em!"
Their brow furrowed, and they instinctively tried to get out of his grip. To no avail. Accepting that this was their life now, they reached up to pull their goggles over their eyes. Just in case.
"Sorry, Clover. Only business," Ed said, hurrying to the end of town and hopping over the fence, "You're comin' with us."