Chapter Text
The room was cold, and far too bare. White walls, floor, furniture (despite the lack of it, two chairs with a table between them), and ceiling. It just felt empty, and of course he knew why, it had been made clear to Yagami Light that he had lost his rights the moment he was arrested in that warehouse - his shoulder still burned with pain from the gunshot. In fact, he had lost his rights so much so that the task force and SPK had admitted to him that had Near not pushed for KAP ( Kira Analysis Project), that he would have been executed in secret. From what he understood a psychologist would be analysing him to perform a study of sorts, he wasn’t sure what exactly the study was about, he just knew it was what was keeping him alive (in honesty, he had hoped that Ryuk would write his name in his death note as he had threatened many times, but as the scene had started to play out he became far too amused with it all, damn Shinigami. What was worse was that he hadn't even seen Ryuk since that day at the warehouse, where even was he?!). He would be meeting with the psychologist twice a week, and he would be restrained, hands cuffed to the table, and feet cuffed.
What he hadn’t expected was for (L/N) (Y/N) to walk through the door. Her hair pulled back, lab coat on, a clipboard was tucked under her arm and he could see a tape recorder peeking out of her coat pocket. She glanced at him for a quick moment before she looked up at the CCTV screen in the corner of the room. Light glanced at the black and white screen, the picture was crystal clear, he could clearly see the taser secured in her belt as she waved her arm at the camera and brought a walkie-talkie to her lips, “Can you guys see me?”
“Yep, you’re good, sound is clear too.” a crackled Matsuda’s voice came through. Light’s eye twitched slightly at the voice, a brief flash of Matsuda pulling the trigger that incapacitating him.
She gave a nod to the camera - no, to the people on the other side of the camera, the task force or SPK no doubt. There was a loud thump as she placed the tape recorder on the table between them, she glanced down at her watch for a moment, the room was so silent that the ticking of her watch was a welcomed sound.
She hadn’t talked to him once since she walked in, he knew he would have to be the one to break the ice. But what was he meant to say? He hadn’t seen her since before his arrest. What was someone meant to say in that situation? What do you tell your (most likely) now ex-girlfriend after being exposed as a world renowned wanted ‘killer’. Without thinking he just said the first thing that came to mind, “So you’re the psychologist on site? They couldn’t hire someone else?” He had a point. Did they have to bring her into this? Surely it would have to be a conflict of interest, they were partners, she was part of the task force, she had known him for years. Wouldn’t at least Near want an unbiased professional?
She didn’t miss a beat, when she responded, still not looking at him,“And raise the risk of leaking classified information? We agreed that it would be easier to use a professional who already had an understanding of the circumstances.”
“Isn’t that an ethical issue?” he raised an eyebrow, she had always been one to abide by ethical standards. It had been the reason she stayed in the task force after L’s death.
She looked down at him, her eyes finally meeting his, a deadpan expression on her face, “Didn’t take you for one to be concerned with ethics, all things considered.”
Doesn’t change the issue. Is what he would have said but he bit his tongue. He almost wanted to laugh, of all the ways to meet again, this was the last thing he expected, to be psycho analysed by his ex? Someone who had defended him whenever L had accused him of being Kira? It was all too surreal, “Did L put you up to this?” he smirked slightly. L always thought he was one step ahead, although that didn’t save him in the end, it was amusing, however, to imagine that this was all part of his overarching plan, that he expected to die so all these pieces would fall together and that was why he included (Y/N) in the investigation.
“We had briefly discussed it, yes,” she sat down across from him, she crossed her legs and pulled a pen from her pocket.
That made him sick. You’re kidding? So he really did think of everything. “I was joking.”
“I fail to see the humour,” she said in a dry tone, her half lidded eyes stared straight through him, he was sure that this wasn’t how patients were meant to feel in a therapy session, then again, not all patients had a body count in the hundreds of thousands. She blinked slowly before she looked back down at her clipboard and pulled it closer to her, “we never got to cement the idea - for obvious reasons - but it was a potential factor.”
“So you thought it was me?”
Her brows furrowed while she stared at him, “No, actually. We just discussed the idea of analysing Kira when he was caught, just so happened to be that that was you.”
She reached her hand out and pressed the red button on the tape recorder before he could even get a word out.
“Thursday, February eleventh, 2010, 09:00, (L/N) (Y/N),” she started, “two weeks after the initial arrest of Yagami Light, Kira, this is day one of the Kira Analysis Project, KAP for short, originally proposed by the now deceased L, whose true name will remain anonymous. These sessions will be recorded for research purposes and will be held within an archive when the study is complete.”
He stopped listening, shockingly it seemed he had rights, at least that was what he assumed she was reading to him, she was so detached, cold, he had never seen her like that. Yet, the more she read off her clipboard and eventually looked up at him as she looked up, she was more warm. Was this a front to gain his trust? Did she seriously think that such a dumb trick would work on him.
“Mr Yagami?”
“You know my name,” he almost growled.
“Would you prefer to be called Light, or does Kira appease you more?”
He rolled his eyes, he attempted to lean back in his seat only for the silver around his wrists to hold him back, he winced slightly, they were too tight, “Whatever.”
The session seemed to be never ending. By the end of it he knew it had only been three hours - although three hours is far too long anyway - but he felt as though it had been an entire day. The questions weren’t of any importance, he was meant to just answer the basics, when did he find the death note, how did he find it, who did he first kill, along with an explanation of the first few years of his ownership, along with how he had managed to pass the death note to Yotsuba while being in confinement. To his surprise, she didn’t touch on L’s death.
“This concludes our first session at 11:13, we thank you for your time,” she pressed the red button once more and stopped recording, and placed the recorder in her lab coat pocket. She checked her watch once more, and pulled the walkie-talkie out of her belt, “we’re done here, you're free to collect him.”
***
You sighed after closing the door behind you and leaned against it, you could feel the loud click of the automatic lock through the thick metal. Your heart pounded in your chest, you feared that it would burst out. You held her hand over your chest in a self soothing method as you took deep breaths. You wanted to throw up, your stomach was doing flips while feeling as though it were made of lead. You took in one last breath before you straightened yourself up and brushed yourself down. You had found your timing lucky when a disheveled Matsuda opened the door at the end of the hall and raced towards you.
“Hey are you okay?” he asked, unable to hide the concern in his face as his hand reach out to squeeze your shoulder, he couldn’t control his rambling as he just blurted everything that came in his mind to you, “you were great in there - I mean, I’m not sure how it’s meant to go but one of the reps for Near gave it the all clear so - hey, are you all right?”
You nodded slightly, trying to control yourself, even though you had two weeks to prepare and let all the news sink in, the moment you saw Light cuffed and in the white confinement uniform, it all became far too real. Him. Your Light. He was Kira, there was no doubt, but . . . “I still can’t believe it.”
“We all can’t,” he squeezed your shoulder.
“L knew,” your voice was low, your eyes felt foggy, he always knew, and he stuck by it even when no one believed him, even when you refuted him, insisting that there was no way Light and Kira were the same person, “why didn’t I listen to him.”
“Woah there,” he interrupted your thoughts, no matter how hard he tried to be the strong one while he spoke to you, there was no doubt that he was thinking the same as you, “we did everything we could, he tricked us all.”
You nodded slightly, and pulled the clipboard scribbled with your notes close to your chest, again, taking in another breath.
“All we can do right now, is keep moving forward, that’s what L would want,” as much as he was right, it seemed as though he was getting through to himself more than you, “are you going to be okay? With the rest of it I mean?”
The rest of it. How could you forget, it was seared in the forefront of your mind, your services were not only needed for the research of Yagami Light, but you had agreed to provide therapy sessions for the members of the task force who wished to receive it. Due to the abnormal circumstances of the Kira investigation, there were obvious discrepancies about members of the task force seeking treatment due to being sworn to secrecy; Near had also pushed for the notion that the information remain between the SPK and task force members until further notice. Of course you offered to help and after it was discussed among the group, it was agreed that you would be allowed to provide therapy, provided that you felt emotionally fit to do so. You looked back up at Matsuda, whose concerned look was still fixed on his face, “Yes, of course,” you reached up for his hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze, “trust me.”