Chapter Text
Sans grumbled as he lazily shuffled through the snow, the carcass he drug leaving a bloody trail behind him of violent crimson to clash with the slightly grey tinged snow. He was grateful humans had been falling so frequently the last few months, it kept his brother and town fed. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t complain about it.
Honestly he hated how his joints constantly ached after every hunt, the LV stretching and growing his body the more he gained it. But he would be loathe to deny how much he enjoyed gaining it in the moment; the scent of frightened prey and the loud pounding of their blood through their veins that his heightened hearing could now pick up so well.
Really just made his magic surge in all the right ways.
Sans wouldn’t have pinned himself as a sadist before the famine. Then again he’d always been a lazy fucker, always just going with the flow and letting come what may.
He really should’ve just killed Frisk if he’d known they weren’t going to reset or come back this last time. He should’ve done a lot of things. Stupid judge. Stupid nihilism.
He sighed with exhaustion as the shed finally came into sight, the idea of stringing up the body for a few hours so he could nap tempting him beyond measure. That is until his engorged eyelight fell on Burr, the huddled and scrawny bunny shivering as she walked over to him. He could remember a time when her swirly eyes were caused by heavy drink and not by murderous LV ridden delusion. Those swirls he once considered cute now jittery and twisted.
“H-hey sansy.” A part of him warmed briefly at the old affectionate nickname, but quickly died at the deep scratch that stained her once smooth and velvet voice.
“burr.” He greeted neutrally. Wasn’t too long ago he was still hanging out with her well into the night, still screwing her. But do to recent circumstances had quickly dropped the habit, no longer finding comfort in something he had once delighted in. He was quickly becoming resigned that he'd just have to live with a constant libido that couldn't be satisfied...not willingly at least.
Just another thing the famine and his LV had taken from him.
His eyelight panned down to her forearm still splinted and bandaged from their last encounter and then moved back up to her nervous face. He didn’t blame her. He couldn’t. Not when he had enjoyed doing it. Not when it was the only thing that had gotten his magic to form in the first place.
Burr cleared her throat and looked over at the kill Sans had been dragging before quickly forcing herself to look at his face. He chuckled inwardly. For all her twisted and corrupted magic she was still a somewhat decent monster. He knew she wouldn’t try to fight him for it. Others would have died for that hungry look she had just directed at the town’s new meager food supply. His brother’s food supply. But the fact the intent wasn't there is what ultimately made him forgive her.
“G-grillby was wondering if you could c-check his traps for him later.” Sans let out a deep and throaty exhale as he looked off into the distance. One thing was consistent. He still hated working.
“tell him the usual payment. and I’ll be by later tonight with his medicine from the lab.” Burr nodded before shakily turning and walking away, a few passing monsters eyeing her up as she went. It was a good thing she was under Grillby’s protection. The fire elemental was suffering day in and day out but that didn’t change the fact that he had people to take care of. Sans kinda missed having his fun with him to. But with how his magic constantly hurt him he doubted the favored bartender could even get laid anymore, let alone have a moment that wasn't drowned in agony. It almost tempted Sans to go retrieve his medicine early. Almost.
Welp, at least he knew Grillby would have something nonhuman to eat waiting.
And that’s what mattered.
The door to the shed swung open with a slam as Sans kicked it, the old and rotting wood splintering slightly from the force. Paps was sure to lecture him about that later. With how scarce magic was becoming the wood that had once never aged was quickly falling into disrepair. Sans’s once precious snowdin was starting to look like shit, just like its residents.
It was almost methodical the next few steps. Sling the kill onto a hook, drain it, cut it. It was lulling. Old Sans would’ve been sick to see himself humming contently as he hacked a once sentient being to pieces so easily. It helped him ignore the hunger. It gave him a sick sense of pleasure. Once he was finished and wrapped the chunks into packages he was quick to make his way from the shed and to the house. He didn’t even notice the blood smear as he wiped his face.
Being home was always a relief for him. He couldn’t pin it but even with all the bullshit they now lived through home still felt normal. As normal as it could. He paused mid stride in the living room as he heard a soft voice echoing through the quite darkness that surrounded him. He closed his sockets and just calmly listened for a moment before letting out a growl as he stalked over to the source of the melody.
There you were washing the dishes as you sang about fireflys or some shit, he didn’t really care about the words. What mattered is that you were singing. You were in a good mood. He glanced over at the bare table and placed his load before stealthily moving up behind you. He could never get enough about how short you were in comparison to him; your head barely reached the top of his ribs. It made it easy to maneuver you like a toy.
His beloved and delicious looking toy.
His eyelight moved down as your hips swayed, the once pristine jeans you had arrived in long torn and faded but still accentuating your ass and hips nicely. What a loyal garment. Slowly he traced up the arch of your back with his predatory sight where your shirt still managed to cling just right despite the weight loss you had inevitably had to endure. Stopping once it landed on your slightly knotted locks, barely managing their life he was sure they’d have if they still had running water. As it was melted snow could only clean so much. And waterfall was far too dangerous to travel to.
His hands moved to grip the sink on either side of you making you jump abruptly. Oh? You hadn’t noticed he was in the room? That wouldn’t do. You’d both discussed this before, seemed he was going to have to punish you for it later. He hummed as he pressed you into the edge of the sink with his hips tight against your backside, your inherent shiver from the contact of his bulge making him chuckle.
“miss me?” He heard your soul sing happily as you smiled and turned.
“Think I should be asking you th—“ He watched as the light in your eyes blacked out and your soul let out a piercing screech. His sockets lidded dully as his mood quickly soured. He had blood on his face again didn’t he? With a learned grace you pulled out the rag you had been using to clean and smiled as you dabbed at his skull. He let you. You glanced past him to the table tiredly.
“Good night huh?” Sans grunted in response as you finished your cleaning and rolled his socket in annoyance.
“’s never a good night.” You frowned at the tone in his voice and then smiled as you trailed a hand along his chest, your fingers pressing in and avoiding where you knew from memory his wounds were. He shut his sockets and let you indulge in touching him. It didn’t do much but rile him, you knew that but sometimes he did like to pretend it did more. He also liked how it made you feel to be able to explore him. You never tired of exploring him. He hated that he couldn’t take pleasure from it like he could’ve once upon a time.
How fucked was the universe to allow him his soulmate after all the shit he had to do, only to be unable to touch her without losing her forever?
“Anything you’d like me to do?” You teased. He groaned and pressed against you, his evident arousal twitching beneath his clothing in sadistic want. Stars how you tempted him. His voice was rough with desire and regret.
“there’s a lot I’d like you to do. can’t though.” Your smile turned grim.
“If you –“
“no.” He felt his temper flare as you looked away from him. He couldn’t have your body he at least wanted your attention. He knew his refusal hurt you, it hurt him to. But he wasn’t about to risk your life in case something happened to him. Papyrus had already sworn to take care of you if he didn’t come home one day.
He wasn’t about to make that promise pointless.
His LV and head wound made him highly unstable but he wasn’t an idiot. Sex wasn’t worth the risk to your well being. In or out of bed. He cupped your chin and lifted your face to him, the dominating action making your cheeks tint that lovely shade of pink not related to adrenaline or fear. He could only imagine what your face would look like down on your knees. He let slip a purr as he intently stared into your eyes. He didn't mind hurting the others, playing with them till he had his pleasure met, but you? He'd never risk you.
“meine blume.” You smiled weakly as your soul gave a gentle hum. You knew his meaning whenever he said that. It was a token of affection and a command, to never doubt how much he wanted you. It was a promise. It made it easier to accept his flings, because you were the one that mattered. One day you’d all be free and he’d follow you wherever you’d want to take him. You'd belong to only each other.
Maybe find a way to be together without the fear his LV brought.
What mattered was he showed his devotion through how earnest he was learning German with you even if it was a possibility you’d both never use it, planning to travel with you across the surface starting in Europe, even if the mere idea didn’t seem to fit his personality and even finding a way to feed you though he starved. For all his indifference he was a sweetheart and loyal. You just wished you could give to him what he gave to you every day.
“Nach Deutschland?” He gave you a rare smile as he responded.
“nach deutschland.” You yelped as he suddenly lifted you and sat you on the table, both of you pointedly ignoring the ‘food’ piled next to you. Sans leaned into your hair and audibly inhaled your scent as one hand ran through it tenderly, the smell of apples and something earthy that he couldn’t place mingling in a pleasant harmony. You always smelled so good. And right now he felt like tasting something good to.
“i’m hungry.” He growled, his voice slurring and dropping as it cracked and rumbled, its vibration moving through you like a caress. You felt your heart slam urgently as he crushed your mouth to his, your soft lips almost painfully locked with the hardness of his mandible as his hands gripped the waistband of your jeans and removed them in three violent jerks down your legs. A part of you wanted to protest knowing his intention, at how unfair it was. But you knew deep down how much you wanted what he was able to offer you.
Now bared to the chill of the house Sans moved from your mouth to your neck, nipping harshly to bruise each time and licking over it just enough to dull the residual pain with his magic. Damn how salty and savory your skin was to his deprived taste! He huffed as he finally made it down to the crux of your legs and paused long enough to smell you, the deep inhale of his breathing making your heart flutter and then shiver as his hot breath exhaled against you. It was enough to make him start salivating.
“Sans!” You cried his name desperately, your body ready and willing as his hands slid from your hips to your thighs, their motions tossing your legs over his shoulders as he ducked in and gripped your ass. You moaned as soon as you felt his tongue press against you, the tingling of his magic as he gave a long languid lap of your core causing your legs to jerk.
“so good~” He moaned uncharacteristically weak and pathetic, a true epitome of a man well starved. It was enough to bring tears to your eyes even as he moved again and flicked your sensitive bundle of nerves sending sharp sparks of heat and electricity through you. It was as much arousal as it was pity and love for your suffering skeleton that made you spread your legs further for better access. His pleased hum making you fall back against the table as it stimulated you further. He might not have been able to take pleasure directly from you without injury but he could dole it out.
And he could do it for hours.
“All for you~” You groaned. It was a small whine that slipped from him, the only warning you received before he suddenly gripped your hips and flushed your core against his eager mouth. You fought not to yell as his tongue slipped into you violently and began to thrust and twist as it worked you, his muffled grunts and moans making heat coil in your abdomen as your muscles began to spasm.
Sans couldn’t think beyond the taste and feel of you, his beautiful human feeding him with your body and soul squirming and jerking beneath him. He made a strangled cry as your velvet walls clamped around his tongue, it should’ve been his magic they gripped. Should’ve been his body fully locking with yours that made you cry his name. It was unfair.
This whole world was so unfair.
He snarled as he nipped and sucked, his frustration as his shorts painfully tented and rage at his self-sacrifice making his mind cry out in indignation. How easy it would’ve been to let them all starve, to let every one of them out there gather and fluster for their own solutions to the core crisis. If he hadn’t of helped, if he hadn’t cared so fervently maybe he could’ve stayed who he’d been. Maybe he would’ve known what it was like to have you for a time…to deserve you.
He was fucking garbage. And he hated how right that flower was.
He came back from his thoughts as he felt your body lock up, and the taste of you gushed and ran down his throat. He swallowed with a blush as he eyed your thoroughly flushed body and trail of love bites he’d left as he messaged your legs through your orgasm. Something about this with you always hit a still sensitive part of him that clung to life. Those marks he always left may have annoyed you every time he did them, but it was the closest he could get to marking you. To being able to fully claim you.
You sighed as you came down and limply stayed in place on the table as Sans rose to his feet, his tongue lewdly running along his teeth the only effort he ever made to clean up on his end. Sometimes you wondered if that was so he could still taste you later when he wanted to. You had seen him lick his mouth on occasion whenever you and Papyrus would eat something. The thought made your spent body shiver.
Sans shuffled over and grabbed the temporarily forgotten packages and tossed them haphazardly onto a random shelf in the fridge before walking back over and lifting you into his arms. You looked up at him in question and he didn’t even glance at you as he started walking out of the kitchen toward the stairs.
“tired.” He ignored your false put upon sigh as he climbed. If you were truly bothered by it you never voiced it. He wasn’t about to not take advantage of that fact. Besides…he slept easier knowing you were tucked up safely next to him and not vulnerable while he slept. Once in the room he made straight for the bed and tossed you down onto it before collapsing next to you. You chuckled and curled into his side.
This was the closest he ever got to peaceful. He was close to falling asleep when he heard your voice low and quite.
“It’s my birthday you know.” Sans’s sockets blinked as he looked down at your head bowed against his collar bone. Had it been two years already? He forgot how to track the days on occasion, using how hungry both you and papyrus were usually to gauge his sense of time. He hummed and then pressed a kiss into your hair.
“can take you to the lab with me for a bit if you want.” You looked up at him in surprise.
“You never take me anywhere outside snowdin.” Sans shrugged.
“gotta make grillby more medicine. ‘sides,” Sans turned onto his side and wrapped his arms around you, his smile soft and slightly teasing as he stared at you. “i remember offering to play tour guide when we met.”
“Oh, you mean before you tried to kill me.” Sans rolled his eyelight and snickered.
“what can I say? one look and I knew you were just dyin’ to be alone with me.” You laughed against your better judgment and it made his cracked soul do flips in his chest. But all too soon you were frowning sadly, your eyes wet with unshed tears. Sans cupped your face and you shakily spoke.
“I love you Sans, I worry about you.” Sans sighed and pressed his forehead against yours being mindful of his sharp ridge. It was sweet how you worried for him. But you were the one who needed to be worried about. He was fine so long as you were. His brave soul willing to love a filthy murdering skeleton. He'd never forget how close his clever had come to your neck and the only words that left your mouth were those simple three. No begging for your life. But defiant declaration for his in your eyes.
He hadn't known how quickly he could go from blood thirsty to protective.
“i love you. soon, hopefully soon.” He whispered, his affection and pure unbridled emotion flooding him even as he silently cursed himself for being the one you were to soul bond with. You had been so unlucky to be his, you deserved someone not so broken, not so wanting and bitter. Your smile as you captured his lips healed and broke his soul all at once. What he wouldn’t give for you him and paps to be out of this place. To live a normal life being boring together till you three all died together. Sans found himself getting lost again but froze as your lips twitched against him.
You gasped and your soul cried out in pain.
Sans pulled back and looked at you in confusion as you started to spasm.
Panic.
He shot up and drug you into his lap, his hands trying to still you as if holding you would make it stop. His magic flaring in fear as your eyes rolled back. A strangled groan of pain fell from your lips as your fingers visibly curled and dug drawing blood from your palms.
“w-what are you doing!? what’s wrong!?” He cried out as he continued to try and hold and grope at you as if he could find externally what was bothering you. He didn’t even register his cry for Papyrus till his brother rushed into his room, his shrunken sockets locked on you in concern.
“BROTHER WHAT’S WRONG?”
“i don’t know—“ Sans’s sockets went wide as suddenly your body began to glow, your brilliant orange soul twirled with blue coming out to float above it. Sans and Papyrus watched in shock as it suddenly spun through a wave of colors and combinations seeming to shift apart into segments before violently slamming back together in a wash of loud noise.
It was like hearing the very heavens cry out in a multitude of angles falling to their death.
It was raining.
Sans stared at his empty arms in disbelief, unable to feel the pelting of the icy water into his clothes. His sockets widened as he looked around rapidly, his breathing loud and echoing as he sought for some sign of you, tried to feel out for your soul’s melody. He couldn’t feel you. He stilled as he noticed his brother a bit away staring upward and then slowly followed his gaze as it registered.
It was raining. From a canopy of grey clouds. The air was so much easier to breath. Lighter.
He felt his soul go very still.
They were on the surface. He shot to his feet and turned around himself trying to find you. They were above ground! They were free! But where were you!? Sans began to short cut around the clearing they were in, weaving in and out of trees before the calling of his brother’s voice stopped him. He turned to face him and locked up. Papyrus looked sad.
Please…no…
“i…i’m looking for…” Papyrus looked down. If he couldn’t feel you either…
Sans fell to his knees.
Whatever had happened you were gone. He looked at his hands, the mental image of blood flashing across them before fading. He had been holding you. Had his hands been so tainted he’d been unable to keep clinging to you? Two years…the only thing that had made him less of a bastard, gave him hope for two years…
It was your birthday…
They were free…you were free!
Your smile as you both talked about exploring the surface together…
How fervently you had sworn you would help them…
Those three precious words slipping from your kiss swollen lips…
Gone.
He started to laugh. It was all just one big fucking joke from this shitty universe. He hunched over as his laughter turned crazed, black saliva running from his mouth and blood from his sockets. His only reason to care, his only drive to maintain some sanity. He never got to fuck you-make love to you-bond with you-feel you-claim you-be yours-be whole and loved!
Papyrus stood still, not daring to approach his brother. The sound of footsteps drew his attention and he froze. The old Sans he remembered stood staring at him, the side of his brother he thought long dead. Ignoring his own tears he approached him.
Sans laughter died in his throat as he heard his brother speak…and a voice he hadn’t used in a long time reply back. He looked over and felt sick to his nonexistent stomach. He looked away ignoring his duplicate and sibling talking. He didn’t care.
Why should he?
“hey.” He looked up and felt a flare of rage at the pity filled look the smoother and cleaner him held on his face. If it wasn’t for his brother’s presence he would’ve dusted him then and there.
“she’s gone…isn’t she?” He found himself asking against his will. The way his double glanced down was all he needed for an answer. Sans looked down numbly before rising to his feet. It was a smug satisfaction to see he was taller than the alternate. It didn’t take long to hear what exactly had happened. Didn’t take any longer than that to piece it all together. He still didn’t care. His pure self shuffled his feet awkwardly.
“i have a place you can stay.”
“i want to be alone.” His duplicate and brother looked at him in concern. He shrugged.
“it’s her birthday.” The shorter Sans looked absolutely stricken at that and could only nod. He waited till they were both gone before he finally broke. The way his magic shot out from him sent dozens of trees uprooting and flying turning the clearing to a field. The noise was like whatever deity that existed had sent a hundred thunder storms down upon his enemies.
Sans collapsed into the wet dirt, ignoring how the rain fell into his sockets.
Not only had you been lost this day…
But so had the last of his will, to be anything but the monster he was.
He never wanted to hear the name Rose again.