Chapter Text
Jae-yi looked down at the photo on his phone and compared it to the brick building in front of him. The real thing was less polished than the one in the photo, but the signages remained the same. This must be it, he thought, before he shoved his phone back into his pocket and made his way to the front desk.
He’d already made an appointment with the nurse yesterday. He had been treating a patient when it suddenly dawned on him that he could search for her father’s clinic on the internet.
It took less than five minutes to find a Dr. Go Joo-hwan in her hometown, and he cursed himself for having taken so long to think of this. So, the moment he’d heard that she only worked in the mornings on Saturdays, he’d asked his nurses to reschedule all his afternoon appointments, and immediately booked an appointment with Dr. Go Ah-young right before lunchtime.
She’d scoffed when he showed up at her father’s clinic, asking her to grab some food with him because he’d had no one else to eat with. It was a pathetic excuse, but he’d realised belatedly that it was true - Ah-young was the only person he ever hung out with, and during the time she had been away, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to look for anyone else; it just felt wrong.
“I’ve heard that this place serves really good ssambap,” he said as he added an extra portion of meat into the wrap before he gathered it all up and offered it to her. “Eat up.”
Her brows furrowed as she looked at the wrap apprehensively before saying, “It’s too big. The portion. I can’t…”
“Oh, oh right,” he smiled sheepishly as he placed the wrap on his own plate and gathered another for her.
“I can do it myself, thank you,” she reached out to grab the lettuce.
Jae-yi handed the spoon to her reluctantly and she began preparing her own wrap. He passed the bowl of toppings and studied how she placed just the right amount of toppings over the rice before gathering it up and delicately placing it into her mouth.
Within seconds, the tension left her body, her eyelids closed and her face melted into a look of utter bliss.
“It’s good, isn’t it?” he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. She looked like she was enjoying herself tremendously, and his heart leapt at the thought that he was the one behind this.
“It’s amazing! How did you find this place?”
“I just saw an ad on my phone and knew I had to come here.”
He lied. He could not tell her about how he’d asked his nurses to recommend any good restaurants they might know from the area (earning him a few giggles and knowing glances from them), or that he’d scoured through at least six different food review sites before he finally shortlisted this place.
If she knew the lengths he’d gone to to get to her, she’d run even further away, and then, he’d really never see her again.
“So, how’s Joon-hyung? I heard that his mother has come back for him.”
“Ah, yes, but she just returned to Canada. Poor Joon-hyung, to have met his mother under these circumstances. It’s a good thing he had Bok-ju to rely on.”
“Ah, I’m glad,” Ah-young breathed a sigh of relief and a grin spread across her face. “I knew the two of them were great for each other.”
Jae-yi carefully spread the topping onto the rice - the same amount that Ah-young had placed on hers - and dropped the wrapped ssambap into her bowl. “Here you go. You should eat more. You look like you’ve slimmed down since you’ve moved here. Slimming down too fast can be very unhealthy.”
She sighed, “Stop lecturing me like I’m one of your patients, Jae-yi.”
Jae-yi was afraid he’d said something wrong again, but the teasing smirk on her face told him that she was just joking. He laughed, relieved that it felt like they were back to how they used to be. If only they could stay like this forever, he thought.
He could stay like this forever.
Ah-young had just picked up the wrap he had offered when her phone rang, and she dropped it back into her bowl.
“Yes, Dr. Go Ah-young speaking…” she paused before the mention of the caller’s name lit up her face. “Ah yes, Mr. Choi! Of course I’m available right now!”
She spoke animatedly, her voice going on a higher register that Jae-yi and their mutual friends had affectionately referred to as her ‘Doctor’s voice’. But this time, the slightly more casual way she spoke betrayed a sense of… excitement?
Jae-yi looked up, his palm still cupping the leaves of the next ssambap he was about to wrap for her. The warmth and sweetness in Ah-young’s voice surprised him; he had never heard her speak to anyone like this, not even their sunbaes. Jae-yi searched his memory of his last phone call with her and realised that her voice had been gruff and teasing, like they were old friends. He felt himself deflate a little at the thought.
The call went on longer than expected, and the small mountain of ssambap that Jae-yi had wrapped for her had already unfurled their leaves, exposing the fillings inside.
“Ah, yes yes… Hmm… I understand. I’ll check that for you when I get back to the clinic… No, it’s no trouble at all! I’ll call you later. Have a good rest!” With that, she finally put away her phone.
“I didn’t know you gave your patients your number,” Jae-yi remarked, picking at his rice. He suddenly didn’t feel so hungry anymore.
“I don’t, but Seo-won has multiple drug allergies and asked for my number just in case something happened.”
That’s a lousy excuse , Jae-yi thought before he stopped himself. When did I become so mean? “You two sound close… going on a first-name basis and all.”
“He’s been to the clinic a couple of times, I guess we just naturally fell into that pattern after a while,” she smiled at the memory. “One time, he came in wearing a Blackpink shirt and I got so excited, we talked about it for the whole consultation! I didn’t even realise we’d talked for so long until the nurse came knocking on the door!”
She shook with laughter, and the cup in her hand spilled barley tea into her bowl of wrapped ssambap.
“Ah… what a waste…” She quickly put down the cup and tried to transfer the wraps into a fresh bowl, but it was too late; the wraps were thoroughly drenched and their contents were falling apart.
“That’s okay, I can make more. Here.” Jae-yi tried to keep himself from wincing at the disaster as he picked up another lettuce leaf and quickly piled on the rice and toppings. But he had added too little fillings this time, and the wrap looked small and pathetic. He smiled apologetically as he handed it to her.
She devoured it quickly and gestured for him to hand over the bowl of toppings. “It’s okay. I can handle it.”
He reluctantly handed the spoon and bowl to her and watched as she made wrap after wrap, quickly devouring them as she did. His hands felt empty, so he shoved them under the table instead.
“So… uhm… what would you like to do next?” he prompted.
“Sorry Jae-yi, but I’ve got to head back to the clinic. I still need to check Seo-won’s prescription,” she said, quickly stuffing her mouth with another ssambap.
“How about after that? We could go catch a show. The nurses said that the one with Gong Yoo is really popular.”
She coughed and pounded her chest to dislodge the food from her pipes. Jae-yi refilled her cup of tea and placed it in her hand. She received it gratefully and took a large gulp.
“No thanks,” she said, still a little breathless from nearly choking on her meal. “I’m going to take a nap. I’m tired. Besides, I’ve still got a few more boxes to unpack at home.”
The reminder that she no longer lived in Seoul brought a dull ache to his chest. He had hoped that she would be moving back to Seoul soon, but he knew that she needed the change in environment to get away from the stress of living in the big city.
“How… how long are you planning to stay?” he ventured to ask.
“Hmm… I’m not sure,” she said nonchalantly. “A month or two? Maybe a year?”
“I see…” The pang of disappointment hit him like a punch in the gut. A whole year? What would he do for a whole year without his best friend? The past week was agony, knowing that she was more than a phone call away. It didn’t help that she had refused to pick up his calls and he had no other means to contact her besides visiting her father’s clinic.
“I have to go,” she downed her tea like she was chugging soju and laced her purse across her shoulder. “Thanks for the meal.”
He stood up quickly, not ready to let her go so soon. “Wait, I’ll take you there.”
“You don’t have to. It’s just a couple of blocks away.”
“Please, let me take you there. The weather has been cold lately. You don’t want to catch a cold and pass it to your patients, do you?”
“I guess…” She stopped to consider this, her brows furrowing slightly as her eyes searched his for any signs of foul play. Jae-yi put on his best poker face - which was more of an earnest I’m-too-nice-to-ever-be-up-to-no-good kind of look - and crossed his fingers behind him. After a brief pause, she said, “Alright, you can take me there. It will be faster anyway.”
As she turned to leave, Jae-yi’s face cracked into a grin of triumph, and he promptly rummaged through his pockets for cash before hurrying after her.
The ride back to the clinic was quiet. Ah-young stared out the car window throughout the ride, no doubt reminded about how things had changed since the last time she sat in his car. There so many things he wanted to say - ‘ Come back to Seoul’, ‘I’ve missed you’, ‘It feels so empty without you’ - but he couldn’t bring himself to say them, not when the car ride would only take ten minutes at the most.
“Here we are,” he said awkwardly as he switched off the car engine and unbuckled his seat belt.
It wasn’t until Jae-yi had opened his car door that Ah-young snapped out of her train of thought and made to get out of the car. Just as she reached for the handle, the car door popped open, Jae-yi holding out the door like a perfect gentleman.
“Ah… you didn’t have to trouble yourself,” she said as she stepped out of the car, her eyes not quite reaching his. “I can open it myself.”
Jae-yi smiled earnestly, “I know, but I wanted to. I thought we should… switch things up a little.”
She looked at his innocent expression and scoffed, but didn’t say anything else. Jae-yi locked the car and followed her into the clinic.
When they reached the reception area, the nurse at the desk hurried to hand her a document. “Dr. Go, I have the file you requested for Mr. Choi Seo-won.”
She smiled at her in gratitude and leafed through the pages for the information she needed, before she handed the file back to the nurse.
“Thank you. Sorry to make you stay behind to find this for me.”
“It’s my pleasure,” she replied with an almost-conspiratorial smile. “After all, he’s my favourite patient too.”
Ah-young laughed. “Alright, I won’t hold you back any longer. I’ll just grab another file from my office and I’ll be on my way.”
“Yes, Dr. Go,” the nurse replied and returned to packing her things.
Just as Ah-young was about to enter her office, she turned around with a puzzled look, as if finally noticing that Jae-yi hadn’t left.
“I’ll wait for you here,” he offered before she could tell him to leave.
She looked like she was about to say something, but she simply turned and headed into her office.
Jae-yi knew it wasn’t his business, but something about the exchange between Ah-young and the nurse gnawed at his heart. When did Ah-young have a favourite patient besides Joon-hyung?
He strolled over to the reception desk. “Uhm… excuse me.”
The nurse perked up. “Yes? How can I help you?”
“This Choi Seo-won… does he come here often?” he ventured, before noticing her suspicious glance. “Oh, I’m Ah-young’s friend from Seoul. I’m a doctor too.”
She seemed to relax a little before she said, “We’re not supposed to share information about our patients, but I can definitely tell you that whatever illness Mr. Choi is suffering from, it’s less to do with his body, and more to do with his heart.”
Jae-yi frowned. “His… heart?”
She sent him a conspiratorial look, leaning over as her voice dropped to a whisper. “It’s love -sickness.”
Seeing that Ah-young was still rummaging through her office for the file she needed, the nurse continued, “The man is in his 20s and he looks fit as a fiddle. But he comes often, complaining about aches and pains that Dr. Go can never find the source of. She treats him like the biggest medical mystery she’s ever seen, while he treats her like a personal goddess. You should have seen him when he started wearing Blackpink T-shirts to his consultations after he heard us talking about how much Dr. Go likes them. He’s a lot younger than Dr. Go, but the way he’s going, I wouldn’t be surprised if he captures her heart very soon.”
A million thoughts went through Jae-yi’s head. He thought that seeing Ah-young again would have been the balm on his soul that he needed. But somehow, the weight that had been pressing against his chest all week suddenly grew heavier, and for a brief moment, he almost felt like he couldn’t breathe.
“Jae-yi?” the sound of Ah-young’s voice penetrated the fog in his head. “Jae-yi, I’m done. Let’s go,”
He nodded and followed her out of the clinic.
He was vaguely aware of them locking up the clinic and of the short drive back to her family home, before the long journey back to Seoul. And for the rest of the day, Jae-yi found that his mind kept coming back to his conversation with the nurse.
Ah-young deserved someone who could make her happy, and this Choi Seo-won seemed to know exactly how to do it. It had only been weeks since she had moved here, and Choi had already turned up in a t-shirt featuring her favourite band. But in the ten years that they had been friends, Jae-yi had never known what Ah-young truly liked.
If there was ever a time to be considerate of someone, this would be it. But for once in his life, Jae-yi didn’t want to be kind or considerate.
He knew that Ah-young came here to forget him, and being considerate would mean giving her the space she needs so that she could forget him.
His heart twisted at the thought.
He’d have to be unkind then, he decided. He’d keep showing up at her clinic. Every single day. Whatever it took to convince her that he deserves a second chance - that they deserve a second chance.
Whatever it took, however long it took…
… he’d keep trying.