Chapter Text
“Hyunjinnie,” A frown settled between his brows, eyes still shut tight, trying to scoot away from the soft voice, only for the voice to get closer this time with a hand running through his unwashed tangled hair. He let out a loud whine.
“Hyuuung, stop. ‘m greasy, ‘s gross…”
“Come on, drama queen, wake up, you need to get ready.” With the frown still settled between his brows, Hyunjin scrubbed at his face, two closed fists rubbing at his
eyes until they felt raw and saw many, many different colours. At least he didn’t get blinded by sunlight this time. Someone must’ve closed the shutter after he fell asleep.
“We’re gonna land soon.”
Right.
As if to prove his point, the scratchy speakers let out the voice of the pilot, getting everyone’s attention in their cabin.
“Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you or the overhead bins. Thank You…”
He almost chuckled at the pilot’s obvious accent as she continued to revise the same exact speech in her native language, German if he remembered correctly. They’d been on so many flights in the last couple of days that he had to take a second to remember where they were flying to this time.
He squinted at the small screen ahead, the bold ‘No Smoking’ sign blinking in red. Regaining enough focus after a few seconds, he could finally see the route to the airport on a map shown on the screen, next to it an estimated time of arrival flashing in white.
Landing at 11:55 ! Please fasten your seatbelts!
Rubbing his eyes, Hyunjin groaned, rolling his neck from side to side, wishing
away the cricks and sores that came with having to sleep upright on uncomfortable airplane seats for, almost five days now... or had it been a week already? He wasn’t sure.
Right then he finally started to get feeling back in his whole body, groaning in pain as he tried to straighten his stiff, bunched up legs from under himself. His habit of curling up in his sleep won’t let up even when he is sleeping upright on an airplane seat it seems. An immensely appreciated bottle of water dropped on his lap. He hummed in appreciation.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been cleared to land at Hamburg International Airport. Please make sure one last time your seat belt is securely fastened. The flight attendants are currently passing around the cabin to make a final compliance check and pick up any remaining...”
He cursed under his breath as soon as he managed to put his feet down, his muscles screaming in pain from the previous position he’d been sleeping in. Mainly his behind. How long had he been sleeping like that? He reached a hand to his ass, trying to massage the pain away, groaning as he felt the now almost alarmingly flat surface.
A loud snort came from beside him. He shot a glare at his best friend, seeing how he was trying, and simultaneously failing, to keep his smile hidden. He swatted at him with a prominent pout on his face, the older shamelessly laughing in his face. He groaned in annoyance, resuming his hand back to his stiff ass.
“What? I’m allowed to laugh! It’s your own fault. I told you to lean your head on my thighs and lay down, but no, you wanted to stay awake and watch the frickin’ clouds. As if we haven’t had enough of that the past week already.”
“Hyung, if anything, you’re the sole reason for my whole body feeling like a stick. If you’d just gotten first class,” he groans as a muscle in his back pulls, “…we wouldn’t have had all these stupid problems.” He let out a small yelp at the smack on the back of his neck.
“If it was about our comfort, I wouldn’t have made us fly in circles for a whole week, idiot.”
“At least my butt would’ve come out of it unharmed- Ya!“ Yugyeom smacked him again, this time on the side of his head, opening his mouth to say something, probably scold him further, but he got cut off by a flight attendant kindly asking them to put their seatbelts on.
He nodded to the young woman with a reassuring smile for her to leave, moving the thin blanket draped on his lap aside in search of the seat belt straps.
“Here.” Yugyeom handed him his black cap, a black mask inside. He reluctantly put them both on, trying to ignore the disgusting smell of his dirty hair coming from the cap, the water he just drank swishing in his empty stomach as the plane gradually started to sink back down onto the ground.
He took another look at the screens in front of them. Just a couple more minutes and he could finally walk again. He hadn’t thought he’d miss anything more than he misses walking at this moment in his life.
“Hand me your phone and wallet.”
“Why?” He questioned, even though he knew exactly why.
“No questions. Come on, hand it over.”
“Hyung, you already destroyed my sim card. What use does my empty phone have when I can’t even call anyone?”
Yugyeom didn’t reply, just gave him a stern glare that clearly indicated he did not appreciate Hyunjin not cooperating, which drew out a small, disgruntled whine from the younger as he reached into his back pocket to retrieve his dead phone.
“Fine.” He grumbled.
“It’s not like I can use it anyway...” He handed it to him with the headphones still attached. It died on the first flight so Hyunjin didn’t understand why Yugyeom still wanted to have it when he wouldn’t let him charge it at the airports either.
“Good.” Yugyeom detached the headphones and threw them back on Hyunjin’s lap before putting the phone in his back pocket, stretching his hand over to him again gesturing for something else.
“Why give me the headphones when I don’t even have a device to use them with?”
“Wallet.”
He scoffed. First, it was his Sim-Card, then his laptop, and now his phone and wallet too...
He wasn’t getting any of them back either, was he?
“Why do you need my wallet?”
“Hyunjin, can you just listen to me once without questioning something?” The older snapped, making Hyunjin sigh in defeat.
It wasn’t often that Yugyeom snapped at him, so when he did, Hyunjin knew it was not the time to be playing around. He is just doing his job, Hyunjin knows, despite that, he couldn’t help but feel a small pang of... something in his chest whenever it happened. It made Hyunjin see him as what he was actually supposed to be. His bodyguard. Not his best friend, who he’d grown up with. Hyunjin hated that feeling.
The last week had done a great job of reminding him of that…
“Hyung, is taking my wallet really necessary? My cards won’t even work-“The impact of the plane tires hitting the asphalt ground cut him off mid-sentence. Yugyeom snatched the wallet from his hand, not even paying him any mind as he stuffed it in his jacket pocket.
Hyunjin rubbed his scalp lightly, already giving up on his previous request, knowing it wouldn’t change anything anyway.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Hamburg International Airport. Local time is 11:56 and the temperature is 11ºC in Hamburg, dropping from 11 to 8 in the evening, with a 10% chance of rain. For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belts fastened until the…”
Blocking out the pilot’s voice, he rolled his shoulder to release some pent-up tension. He noticed Yugyeom trying to tell him something, but his voice was blending into the background along with the pilot’s speech as if underwater.
Gesturing for him to wait, he yawned to unblock his ears. With a soft pop, his hearing went back to normal so he looked to his left to see Yugyeom getting his bag from under his seat, opening it in search of what he assumed would be their passports, Yugyeom confirming his thought when he checked both to find out which belonged to who.
“You know the drill. We blend into the crowd, heads down, quickly get through the security gates and out of the luggage claim without attracting any attention.”
He zipped the bag back up and checked under the seats to see if they forgot anything else, which was unlikely since Hyunjin literally had nothing with him except his wallet and phone, which Yugyeom had taken the liberty to confiscate, along with his laptop.
He had not been given any time to pack anything or even change his clothes before they had to leave. He’d been just finishing in the studio when Yugyeom had burst in the room and dragged him out like a rag doll, so he’d just taken whatever was in his reach at that moment, which had been the bag he usually took to practice containing his electronics, a water bottle and his sweaty hair towel still around his neck. He was taken straight to the airport in a cab driven by Yugyeom himself, without a single explanation as to where they were going.
Hyunjin had no say in the matter whatsoever. He knew he was just supposed to listen and follow the lead in these kinds of situations, as much as he hated to do that, he is just doing his job, it’s for my own safety, he told himself.
Soon after the plane completely stopped, the passengers started unloading their carry-ons from the overhead bins and making a line to exit the plane, unsurprisingly crowding the path to the exit.
Not that it mattered anyway. Yugyeom always made sure to get them seats close to the exit doors so they would have an easy and fast exit should anything unexpected happen.
Granted, that wouldn’t have even been a concern, had Yugyeom chosen to just take one of the many private jets waiting for them on command, however, as they’ve been flying around in circles for the past week, Hyunjin thought it was less the matter of urgency to get somewhere and more the urgency to get away from something… which was frankly unsettling.
Not to mention Yugyeom’s worrying behaviour.
He felt a hand tug at his wrist as he stood up, following Yugyeom out of the plane, two flight attendants bidding them goodbye at the door as they followed the other passengers ahead of them, entering the glass tunnel connecting them to the airport.
Taking a look outside at his surroundings, there wasn’t anything interesting that caught his eyes. He could see more airplanes and some empty mini carts parked around. The weather was slightly cold, and the sky cloudy, casting a grey cast over everything, which was as dull as the weather could get.
Compared to the beautiful city lights that had greeted them at JFK airport or the cold foggy night sky they’d arrived to in London, this was, for lack of a better word, extremely boring.
Midway through the tunnel, he heard a loud ringing coming from Yugyeom’s pocket, startling them both, him from the view outside, Yugyeom from looking around like a madman, scanning every single person in his periphery as if they were about to attack him.
He momentarily let go of Hyunjin’s hand, struggling to silence the loud burner fast enough. As soon as he got a hold of the phone and pressed it to his ear, he grabbed Hyunjin’s wrist again as if he were a helpless child who’d get lost if someone wasn’t constantly keeping an eye on him. Hyunjin rolled his eyes in annoyance, deciding to just follow him for now. He will complain later.
“Where’re you guys?”
That piqued Hyunjin’s interest. He hadn’t known they were meeting someone here.
“Second floor where?!”
Who’s he talking to? Is someone here to pick us up?
“Well, where the fuck are the bathrooms? Give me straight directions!”
The person on the other end yelled something back at Yugyeom and Hyunjin snorted at how Yugyeom flinched back from the phone immediately, a grimace clear on his face.
At this point, Hyunjin knew exactly who was on the other end. No one else could get that kind of reaction out of Yugyeom. He felt excitement bubble in his stomach.
“Hyung, I’m sorry, now can you please, please be a little more clear? Do we just go in whatever bathroom we see first when we get out of luggage claim?”
He could hear a clear ‘NO!’ being shouted out from Mark’s side and this time he didn’t try to contain his chuckles.
“I don’t know from which Terminal they’re gonna let us out. You were the one waiting for us, why didn’t you check the arrivals?”
As they got closer to the end of the glass tunnel, a tall, built woman in a matching blue jacket and pants directed them to a long hallway, a passport check sign at the end of the hall. Yugyeom just opted on following the rest of the passengers until lines were forming to get past the gate.
“Is it close to a store or something I can ask directions for?”
Yugyeom turned to check on him for a second as if he wasn’t already pulling him by his wrist. He pressed his passport in Hyunjin’s hand as they got in line to pass through the security check.
“Ok. Got it.”
Yugyeom finally let go of his wrist, pushing Hyunjin in front of himself in line instead, his new grip on Hyunjin’s shoulder not letting up. Hyunjin sighed as he got ready for his check, lightly shaking his head at how Yugyeom was acting. If they didn’t want to attract attention, Yugyeom had to stop acting so paranoid and suspicious.
“I gotta hang up, we’ll see you in a bit...”
Oh my God. We’ll see them in a bit?!? The hyungs are ACTUALLY here to pick them up?
“I won’t, don’t worry... k bye.”
“Is Mark Hyung here to pick us up? Was that our last flight?” He turned his head back to question the older, curiosity and excitement evident in his wide eyes.
“Sorta...” Yugyeom mumbled back hesitantly. He didn’t have enough time to analyse the hesitant look on Yugyeom’s face before he was being called to the front of the booth, a man looking to be in his 40s, staring him down asking for his passport and ID, which he immediately slid through the small opening of the glass barrier. Hyunjin took off his mask for the man to see his face clearly.
“Hyunjin Hwang.“
The sound of his name butchered by the man’s German accent made him look up from staring at the way the man was absolutely destroying his poor passport bending it all the way back just to see the first page.
That was enough for him to immediately develop a feeling of contempt for the bitch behind the glass barrier, mourning his previously well kept, pretty passport.
The guy looked like he couldn’t care less about his passport’s now permanently open state, a bored look plastered on his face. He looked down at his passport and back up a couple times trying to match the picture to his face.
He tried not to glare too hard at the bitch.
Once he was satisfied, he started typing on his keyboard, scanning his passport before looking up again.
“You are still underage. Are you travelling alone?”
Seriously, was destroying his passport not enough? What the hell did the guy want from him…
“Ah, no, sir.”
“Who’s with you then?”
“My legal guardian. He’s standing behind me.” He turned to Yugyeom, who was watching their interaction with hawk eyes.
“Tell him to come forward.” Before Hyunjin could even react, Yugyeom was standing next to him, sliding down his mask and nodding at the man behind the booth in greeting, which the man didn’t care to return.
“You are his guardian?”
“Yes, sir. I have the documents to prove if you-“
“No, that’s alright. Your passport?” Before the man could finish his sentence, Yugyeom was already sliding his passport through the glass booth over to the guy.
He went through the same process with Yugyeom, checking his picture and date of birth, typing something on his keyboard again then scanning the passport on the same device.
“Traveling through Europe for the first time together?” He opened their passports’ last pages, once again breaking the poor things open (seriously what’s with this guy?), blinking through the Schengen stamp they got at Gatwick Airport on their first flight from Australia.
“Ah, yes. This is our fifth stop.” The guy looked up, a confused frown weighing on his brows.
“You got into the Schengen area three days ago through... Amsterdam?”
“Hmm.” Grumpy checks both of their passports matching the stamps together.
“And you flew out to the US on the same night?”
This was exactly what they were trying to avoid. Of course, this would look suspicious to people. Who in their right mind would put themself through that kind of hell? He looked at Yugyeom to see him wearing a complete nonchalant mask on his face, a complete 180 from just minutes ago when he got the call from Mark.
“Yes, sir. It’s fashion week right now and this guy right here is a very in-demand model. Is there a problem?”
Leave it to Yugyeom’s poker face to get them out of anything. Although Hyunjin didn’t know how the guy still bought it, considering the way he looked right now in his all-black, loose workout clothes that looked like they hadn’t been washed in a few weeks, not to mention the dark bags he was sporting under his eyes and the dry ass skin, the result of living on planes for a whole week without any skincare, not even a moisturizer.
I’m so getting back at him for not letting me buy a moisturizer at duty-free, my skin is gonna suffer for weeks.
“How long are you planning to stay here for your visit?”
“Oh.. we’re just stopping by for a quick shoot, sir. You know, the busy life of models..” Yugyeom gave the bitch a fake smile just as his computer pinged with a sound of approval, the man opening up both of their passports again, oh how Hyunjin wanted to throw something at him right now, giving both an entry stamp and passing them back through the booth.
“Very well then, welcome to Hamburg.”
“Have a nice rest of your day!” Yugyeom bowed slightly as he accepted both passports and grabbed Hyunjin’s wrist again, directing a fake smile at the officer as he dragged him away through the gates leading them to luggage claim.
As soon as they were out of sight, Yugyeom started rushing them to the closest exit, not bothering with the luggage claim since they didn’t have anything with them anyway.
The doors opened to a crowd waiting behind a railing for their loved ones with roses, balloons and ‘welcome back home’ banners, which Yugyeom completely ignored, making a B-line for the first information screen in sight.
“Hyung can’t we get something to eat?“ He whined as they passed a Starbucks and a couple other cafés running through the crowd of people in the long hallway.
“Now’s not the time Jinnie we gotta move.”
Yugyeom led them to the left side of the hallway to check the next information banner and started dragging him again as soon as he found what he was looking for.
“But I missed the plane's last meal-“
“Hyung will get you something on the jet.”
“Another flight?” Yugyeom didn’t need to look at him to know this wasn’t Hyunjin’s usual whining. Sure, Hyunjin was hungry, sleep-deprived and exhausted from the number of unnecessarily long flights they had in the last couple of days, but those things were trivial when it came to his anxiety.
He’d been kept in the dark this whole time with no way to find out what was going on. Yugyeom kept telling him the Guard was dealing with it and that all they had to do was go off the grid for a couple of days until it blew over, but that didn’t really calm him down much since Hyunjin wasn’t aware of what was happening in the first place.
He’d been on edge the whole week and the way Yugyeom was acting wasn’t helping either. He’d been successful, keeping all the dark thoughts away for as long as he could, telling himself he didn’t know anything for sure yet and should therefore just listen to Yugyeom and stay calm, but that could only work for so long. The uncertainty was making him go crazy.
Yugyeom’s grip tightened on his arm for a second before he let go to squeeze his hand instead.
“This is the last one baby, I promise.”
Yugyeom’s words only worried him more, his suspiciously melancholic tone making a sense of dread grow in his gut. Before he could question him further, Yugyeom stopped.
They’d finally reached the end of the main hallway, seeing a big green S sign, leading to what he presumed were the underground trains, but Yugyeom dragged him in the opposite direction into a seemingly closed off narrow hallway leading to the bathrooms.
Yugyeom knocked a familiar rhythm on the door, pushing him inside when the door immediately opened in response and next thing he knew, there were arms wrapped around his neck engulfing him in a tight hug. He chuckled and bent down to wrap his own arms around his skinny Hyung, squeezing back just as tightly.
“Oh my God! When did you grow so tall?! Look at you!” Mark squealed in his ear. He giggled in his Hyung’s neck, swaying back and forth in relief and excitement at seeing him after so long.
“Hyung, we really don’t have time for this-“
Mark slightly pulled away from the hug, directing an annoyed glare at Yugyeom over Hyunjin’s shoulder.
“Hi, babe! It’s so nice to finally be reunited with you after so long! I’ve missed you too! In fact, so much, that after not seeing you for over six months, the first words coming out of my mouth are ‘Hyung, we really don’t have time for this...”
Yugyeom sighed fondly, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, dragging him away from Hyunjin and into his own arms.
“How’s my lovely Hyung been, hmm?”
“Great! Other than the fact that I haven’t been able to sleep for a whole week worrying about what my dumbass boyfriend has gotten himself into this time...”
“I missed you too.” He kissed Mark on the side of his head and that’s when Hyunjin realized he should probably be giving them some privacy, but before he could think up a plan to disappear without them noticing, he heard loud footsteps coming down the hallway.
He flinched when Yugyeom suddenly turned to him, pushing him into a stall and slamming the door shut in his face. “What the hell?”
“Shh quiet. Don’t make a sound and do not under any circumstances come out until I come get you.” He could hear Yugyeom slowly stepping away from the stall. He huffed in annoyance, leaning his head back against the wall listening for other sounds. What made him start panicking was the unmistakable sound of guns being loaded.
They’re not being serious, are they? In an airport?! What the hell is going on?
“Do you have a spare muffler?”
“Duffle left pocket.”
“Guys it’s just me. Calm your horses.”
No fucking way.
“And try to be less obvious next time, Hyung I could literally hear you squealing down the hall.” He peered through the small crack in the door first and when his thoughts were confirmed, slammed the door wide open and ran to the older.
“Now w- Oh my God!” He jumped on his unsuspecting Hyung, almost suffocating him in his embrace.
“Look at the baby! You brat! Have you been taking growth vitamins?! When the hell did you get so tall?” Jackson gushed, holding onto him so tight he thought his clothes were gonna rip. He couldn’t stop his giggles from escaping. He was not expecting to see so many familiar faces in one day, let alone two of his favourite people in the world.
“Aish I missed you so much! Look at you!” Jackson pulled away for a second just to squish his cheeks and hug him again, this time swaying him left to right.
“Ya! You little shit! I told you to wait inside until I come to get you.” Yugyeom scolded, smacking him upside the head again, but he couldn’t care less because he was finally reunited with his hyungs after so long nothing could dampen his mood.
“Jesus Christ, I missed your cute little ass.”
“Hyuuung…” Hyunjin whined fondly, resting his chin on Jackson's shoulder still holding on tight. Jackson responded by lifting one of his hands off the younger's waist to the back of Hyunjin’s head, caressing him behind his ear just like he always used to when Hyunjin was younger. He had missed clinging on to his Hyungs like this without having to worry he was annoying them.
“I missed you so much.” He whispered.
“We missed you more, bun.” Jackson pressed gentle kisses on his head and Hyunjin all but melted. It made Hyunjin almost completely relax in his arms, wanting to pretend this was just another one of their normal reunions, but it wasn’t, was it. This was a lot more serious than any of them wanted to admit.
“Jackson, you were supposed to be waiting outside.”
“I thought it’d be safer if we went out in twos, and I couldn’t wait to see the baby anymore.”
“Ok, you’ll have plenty of time to cling to each other on the jet. We need to move.”
“Shut up you big baby, let us have our moment, I’ll get to you eventually...”
“Hyung, what are you even doing here? I thought ‘nyoungie Hyung was piloting...”
“Wait, is uncle here too?! What is this, Christmas?” Hyunjin almost jumped in his excitement.
“He’s waiting for us on board,” Mark explained.
“Ya. You should be grateful I’m here instead of him. Otherwise, you’d be dead by now. Do you know how fuckin’ worried we were? Who in their right mind goes completely off the grid for five whole days in this mess? Even I wanna kill you right now, you little shit!” Hyunjin ducked his head when Jackson reached out to smack Yugyeom.
“What else was I supposed to do? We were literally being trailed everywhere, up until New York. I had no other choice-”
“Maybe give one of us a fuckin’ heads up before you completely disappear off the face of the planet? You idiot-“Mark cut Jackson off from his rant.
“OK! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that’s enough scolding for now. ‘Nyoungie just texted me and I quote ‘If my nephew is not here in front of me by the next five minutes I am personally going to come to that godforsaken bathroom, collect the baby and leave the three of you there to fend for yourselves with knives in your useless feet.’” Hyunjin chuckled at the alarmed faces of his hyungs hearing Jinyoung’s threat.
“We’d better get going then!” Yugyeom gladly took the opportunity to separate them and push him towards the taps.
“K, Hyunjin hun, hurry up and take your jacket and hoodie off and put these on for me.” Jackson took his cap off and fixed his dishevelled hair for him as Mark rummaged through the duffle bag on the counter and handed him a white leather jacket with a matching hoodie and face mask.
He didn’t know if he should be grateful for the new change of clothes. He hated putting on clean clothes when he hadn’t showered in a week, it made him feel uncomfortable and just- icky.
He shivered as he took off his hoodie, immediately putting the white one on. In the corner of his eyes, he could see Mark changing to the clothes Hyunjin had just taken off. He couldn’t help but cringe. “Is all this really necessary?”
“Yes. Now hurry up before Jinyoungie actually shows up here and staples us to the wall.”
“I couldn’t park here so we gotta walk a couple streets over. Hope you’re not too tired for that.”
“Don’t they have a parking lot here?”
“They do if you wanna have a dozen cameras tracking your every move…”
“Yeah, this place has way too many. You know how many I scouted just in this hallway?” Jackson added, waiting for someone to ask the question.
“How many?”
“None. But there are still a ton in the main hall and the parking lot so my point still stands.” Mark snorted, rolling his eyes along with Yugyeom.
“Hyung, didn’t you say we had one more flight left?”
“Yup! Just one more left. I know Yugi was a pain in the ass the last week. My poor baby. He probably didn’t even feed you properly. Don’t worry honey, Hyung will take good care of you, hmm! Jinyoungie is already warming up a meal for you on the jet.” Jackson cooed, fixing the white hoodie on him before messing up his hair making him cringe in disgust.
“Am I stupid or does that make no sense? Why would we go get a car if uncle is waiting for us on a jet?” Jackson’s fussing on his collar slowed down to a stop. Hyunjin looked up to see Jackson and Mark sharing a quick look.
There was something in that look that made something sour begin to curdle in Hyunjin’s stomach.
When they both turned their gazes to Yugyeom in dread, he knew there was something important they weren’t telling him. (Other than the obvious, which was the reason people have been following them around 4 continents in the last week.)
What the hell were they hiding that they’re being like this?
“So this is why he’s been this calm. You haven’t told him yet.”
“Yeah, you’re right Hyung. I should’ve told him in the middle of an airport or, even better, on the plane, so he would freak out right there in front of everyone and blow our cover.” Yugyeom retorted, giving them a deadpan look.
“Told me what?…” He asked hesitantly, his heart growing heavier by every second ticking by and they weren’t saying anything.
“I’m not coming with you. That was my last flight. You’ve still got one more to go.” Yugyeom responded without even turning to look at him, zipping up one side of the duffle bag on the counter.
“Hyung, what?” Yugyeom tensed, finally stopping to look at Hyunjin through the mirror.
“You’re gonna go back with the hyungs. They’re gonna be taking you to a safe house so you can lay low till we sort everything out.”
The guilty look his hyungs always got whenever they had to deliver bad news, the hesitation in their voices trying to make the blow as soft as possible. He recognized them both now, he wondered how he hadn’t until this moment. Yugyeom had been acting strange this whole time. His breath got caught in his throat.
He’d let his guard down too much through the years.
“So why aren’t you coming with us?” The question came out a bit sharper than he had intended and he would have felt remorse if he couldn’t guess Yugyeom’s answer from the look he received.
Please no.
“We can’t afford to be in the same place right now, Jinnie. The first person they will be looking for when they can’t find you is me, so-“
“So you’re gonna try to distract them so they come after you instead? Is that what you’re going to do?” Yugyeom just looked back down to the duffle on the counter guiltily, zipping up a pocket. Hyunjin scoffed in disbelief, failing to keep it in his chest, and he didn't bother to hide it either.
He looked around for support from the other two in the room, but they were doing everything to avoid his eyes, moving stuff around in the duffle bags. Hyunjin could feel his blood pressure rising, his throat constricting with irrational anger and pent-up frustration from the past week. He shook his head tensely.
“Hyung, are you actually insane? How does that make any fucking sense? Why did we go through all that trouble just for you to go back out there and act as fucking bait?” He was aware of his voice growing louder with each sentence, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The other two in the room seemed to have completely quieted down, just silently standing on the side, still avoiding him like the plague.
They had planned this behind his back. Like they always did.
“We went through all that trouble to ensure your safety. The only thing that matters right now is your safety, Hyunjin.”
“And what about yours? Huh? Where are you going to be? Lying dead in a fucking ditch?!” He snapped, eyes starting to get bloodshot with the multitude of emotions that were pushing up into his chest. Or was it the tears flooding his eyes.
“Hyunjin, I don’t want to hear any more arguments about this from you right no-“
“I don’t care Hyung! I don’t fucking care!” The knot in his throat was getting bigger, blocking his airway, making it harder for him to breathe.
“Hyunj-“
“No!” Hyunjin’s voice cracked as he shouted, freezing all movement in the room.
“You’ve been dragging me all around the fucking world for a whole week, acting all paranoid. Now all of a sudden, you’re gonna fucking leave me alone without actually telling me what the actual hell is going on.” His heart was beating so fast he had to take a second to breathe. “You’re out of your mind if you really think I’m gonna let something like this happen again. It’s gotta be a big deal if you’re this fucking scared.”
“You’re not gonna be alone. The rest of the Guard is gonna be with you. And I am not scared. Nothing is going to happen to me. Hyung is coming with me.”
“Yeah, because that makes things any fucking better. I want to know everything right now. I’m not going anywhere until I know exactly what’s going on.” Hyunjin spat, his eyes turning into slits glaring at his hyungs.
Yugyeom spun around to face him, the previous guilt in his eyes now suppressed by annoyance and urgency making Hyunjin almost flinch.
“Listen to me Hyunjin. Me telling you what’s going on right now is only going to make things harder for everyone involved. Now, you are going to follow my orders, get on that plane without any more fucking complaints and lay low until I say so.” Yugyeom warned, his voice firmer now, with an underlying note of rigour authority. It felt like a punch to his chest.
His jaw clenched as he stubbornly held Yugyeom’s scalding glare, tears burning his eyelids like acid. The lump in his throat was suffocating him.
This can’t be happening again. It can’t be happening again.
“You promised me.” The words echoed in the empty bathroom, or so it seemed for Hyunjin. The tension in the room was suffocating, as if everything had frozen in place and the other three were not immune to it either, flinching as he muttered the words in the empty bathroom.
Something flickered across Yugyeom’s eyes, gone too fast for Hyunjin to put a name to it. His eyes hardened again all too quickly. Mark stepped between him and Yugyeom, keeping a hand on him as if he wanted Yugyeom to back down.
“Jinnie, please, don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“Then don’t go! You promised me you wouldn’t do this again!”
“Promises mean nothing when your life’s in danger.” “Yugyeom-“
“No! They just mean nothing to you! They never fucking do.” “Hyunjin-“ Mark tried to intervene again, but Yugyeom cut in before he could continue.
“You’re still getting on that jet.”
“I am not going anywhere without you.” He gritted out, his voice coming out shaky, unlike the strong tone he was hoping for.
“Well then, good thing the choice is not yours.” The warning came with narrow eyes and a twisted face; an expression Hyunjin could read perfectly as ‘End of discussion’. He felt like throwing up. The overwhelming number of tears gathering in his eyes was finally what made him break eye contact.
It’s happening all over again.
They’re leaving him again. They’re gonna get hurt because of him. They’re gonna die.
They’re gonna die.
He felt Jackson slowly wrap his arms around his waist, trying to gently pull him back to his chest.
The tears finally falling, Hyunjin shrugged out of Jackson’s timid hold to turn around and wipe away the stray tears running down his cheeks, not wanting them to see he was crying, even though it wasn’t hard to figure out with his irregular breathing and sniffles.
They’re gonna die.
The ringing in his ear was getting louder by the second. He was clenching his hands so tight his nails were digging into his palms. He felt a sob bubbling up his chest but swallowed it back down and took a deep breath to calm himself down but that wasn’t working.
They’re gonna die and it’s going to be your fault.
“Baby…”
No, no no no no no no no. This isn’t happening again. It’s not happening again please it can’t be.
They promised.
Jackson was trying to pull him to his chest again, but his touch only made him want to scream. Shrugging out of his arms again, he shakily took the white leather jacket off the counter, quickly putting everything on before booking it for the door.
“Hyunjin!” The door slammed closed before they could reach him but opened behind him not a second later. He didn’t pay it any mind and just ran as fast as he could, taking the first exit that he could see.
As soon as he was outside, he took his mask off and hid behind a pillar, sliding down until he was curled up at the bottom behind a trashcan trembling.
His breathing had gotten so bad he had to take big gulps of air through his mouth and he knew it was only a matter of time before he threw up everything left in his stomach.
He wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings, so he jumped when he felt two warm hands cup the sides of his head. He flinched back from the touch, shaking his head no, trying to keep the sobs in. His vision was so blurry he couldn’t see who it was, but from the gentle tone and tender lilt of the voice that greeted him, he knew it was Jackson.
“Okay baby, I’m sorry, I won’t touch you. Just- I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that for hyung?” Jackson’s voice spoke through the fogging of his vision.
He shook his head yes with a sob, rubbing his eyes raw with the heel of his palms. He tried to breathe in deep for a few seconds, but his sobs weren’t stopping.
“That’s it. Deep breaths. Do you remember our little game? Hmm? Can you name five things you can see for me, baby?” They carried out the exercise his hyungs had memorised to heart for calming Hyunjin down after a panic attack, Jackson keeping his voice light and loving throughout, making sure he wasn’t touching him anywhere.
“There we go, and one thing you can feel,” Jackson finished, his hand hovering over Hyunjin’s heart, body shielding him from prying eyes.
“Pain.” Hyunjin whimpered.
“Where baby? Tell hyung where it hurts,” Jackson’s voice got panicked as he checked Hyunjin’s body for any injuries, but Hyunjin swatted his hands away, flinching away from his touch.
“You promised,” he whispered, brokenly. Jackson froze, his face crumbling in despair. Hyunjin couldn't bear to look at him.
“I know.”
“Hyung, what’s. going. on.” He pleaded, traitorous tears starting to burn his eyes again.
“Hyung will explain everything on the jet, promise,” Both of them winced at the word and Jackson looked like he wanted to swallow his own tongue.
Hyunjin wanted to tell him their promises meant nothing to him anymore, but he held himself back.