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WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN SUNNYDALE???

Summary:

Buffy: GUYS WHY DID I JUST FIND TWO OF MY EXES MAKING OUT IN A COFFEE SHOP?
Xander: ah, Riley and Angel are at it again?
Buffy: NOT RILEY NO
Xander: WAIT YOU'RE SERIOUS?

The chatfic that started out as total crack but started spiralling into an actual plot.

Chapter 1: WHY ARE MY EXES MAKING OUT IN A COFFEE SHOP???

Summary:

Buffy: GUYS WHY DID I JUST FIND TWO OF MY EXES MAKING OUT IN A COFFEE SHOP?
Xander: ah, Riley and Angel are at it again?
Buffy: NOT RILEY NO
Xander: WAIT YOU'RE SERIOUS?

Notes:

Hello there! This is the first chatfic I've written since 2020, so I hope you guys like it

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

-Group Chat-

Buffy

Xander

Willow

 

Buffy: GUYS WHY DID I JUST FIND TWO OF MY EXES MAKING OUT IN A COFFEE SHOP?

Xander: ah, Riley and Angel are at it again?

Buffy: NOT RILEY NO

Xander: WAIT YOU'RE SERIOUS?

Buffy: [one attachment]

Willow: You know, that actually makes a lot of sense

Buffy: FUCK

Xander: what?

Buffy: I THINK THEY SAW ME

 

-Private Chat-

Buffy

Spike

 

Buffy, did you just take a picture of Angel and me?

 I won’t deny nor confirm…

Buffy…

Wait, since when are you two gay?

 

-Group Chat-

Buffy

Angel

Willow

Xander

Spike

Anya

Tara

Cordelia

Wesley

Fred

Gunn

Lorne

Doyle

 

Buffy: Damn, I really have to be the single one again

Spike: Buffy

Angel: No

Buffy: Fine, I won’t…

Cordelia: Uhm, what is this about?

Buffy: Nothing, definitely not involving a coffee shop

Lorne: Ah, Spike and Angel finally kissed?

Cordelia: EXCUSE ME WHAT

Lorne: God, I can’t be the only one who noticed the tension, the lingering looks, the fighting, THE VIBES SCREAM GAY

Anya: I agree, Spike and Angel always seemed to be wanting to have sex with each other

Angel: Gee, thanks guys

Cordelia: Wait, so it’s true?

Cordelia: OH MY GOD WE CAN GO ON DOUBLE DATES

Angel: @Buffy See, this is why I didn’t want you to tell them

Buffy: I think you brought this upon yourself, Angel

Doyle: Can someone please explain to me why Cordelia is currently going on and on about places to go on double dates?

Buffy: Spike and Angel are big gay

Doyle: Ah

Angel: BUFFY

Angel: Spike, why haven’t you said anything yet?

Spike: Sorry, Liam, I don’t fight these battles

Cordelia: OHMYGOD YOU CALLED HIM LIAM

Spike: Okay, I’ll help you flee now

 

-read by Fred, Gunn, Wesley, Tara, Xander and Willow around 0:34 AM-

 

-Private Chat-

Spike

Angel

 

SPIKE I NEED YOU

Well, that’s nothing new

WILLIAM, I’M SERIOUS

What, we doing legal names now, Liam?

I’M SERIOUS HELP ME

Okay, okay, what’s wrong

CORDELIA

Ah

Where are you?

In the closet

No, we’re out of that

I mean the closet in Willow and Tara’s dorm

Oh

Wait why are you with the lesbians?

Never mind, I’ll come to rescue you

My hero

Yeah yeah, I know

 

-Group Chat-

Buffy

Angel

Willow

Xander

Spike

Anya

Tara

Cordelia

Wesley

Fred

Gunn

Lorne

Doyle

 

Spike: We gave in

Angel: Sorry

Xavier: gave in to what?

Xavier: OH

Buffy: Ha!

Buffy: You have to go on double dates with Cordelia now!

Cordelia: Hey!

Doyle: I’m not forcing you to do anything

Angel: Good friend

Anya: Wait, why didn’t @Spike want to go on double dates when you and Buffy were together? 

Buffy: Like I’d allow that

Spike: I don’t want to go on a double date

Angel: Will, we have to go

Spike: Yeah, right bye then

 

-Group Chat-

Spike

Angel

Buffy

 

Spike: So?

Angel: No.

Buffy: No. 

Spike: What do you people have against threesomes?

Notes:

I probably wont be posting regularly, but I will continue writing this even if I still have no idea where the hell this is going lol