Chapter Text
(At a beach, a man with long blond hair and wearing an orange and green suit falls from a portal and lands on his ass)
Blond hair dude: Ow…
(The man sees a note and grabs it)
Blond hair dude: What the-
(On the note, it reads: Dear Aquaman, it gives me great pleasure to officially welcome you to the Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race!! You may or may not be receiving this note right as you get teleported to the race… lol. Anyway, get to the middle of the island, meet your partner and the rest of the competition! Loved - Adramelech)
Aquaman: …What the hell is going on?!
(Suddenly, a blue hair girl falls right in front of Aquaman)
Aquaman: Holy!
(The girl gets quickly up)
Blue hair girl: Where am I?!
Aquaman: I don’t know… uh
Blue hair girl: My name is Hatsune Miku!!
Aquaman: …Who?
Miku: (offended) I’m the biggest idol in the world!! How do you not know me!?
Aquaman: That explains it! I don’t listen to that type of music!
Miku: Really?!? I thought everyone would listen to my music?
Aquaman: I guess not… sorry
Miku: It's okay! I'll win you over!
(A note falls on Miku’s face)
Miku: OOOHHH!! A note!
(She reads the note)
Miku: WO! A race!
(Miku jumps up and down in excitement)
Miku: Are you my teammate?
Aquaman: I don’t think so?
Miku: Okay!
(Miku runs off, leaving Aquaman in the dust or sand I guess)
Aquaman: What the hell is going on?!
(Aquaman runs after the idol. After a bit, both of them stop to see a sign not in… a human language)
Aquaman: So… what does it say?
Miku: Miku doesn’t know what it says! Miku only knows how to read music!!
Aquaman: Yeah… apparently I have a 1st grade reading level so this is above my level.
Miku: Well… let's go this way!
(Miku points at a dark and dangerous-looking forest)
Aquaman: (Shrugs) Sure!
(Suddenly, a muscular man with white combed back hair and wearing a black suit and a red necktie carrying a short girl with a short black bob and wearing a white button up shirt, a red necktie, red gloves, and a red beanie runs out of the forest)
Muscular dude: RUN!! DON’T GO INTO THE FOREST!! WORST MISTAKE EVER!!
Unlucky girl: AAAAHHHHH!!
(Those two passed Aquaman and Miku)
Aquaman: Uh…
(A dark figure covered in dark blue armor with a fucked up right arm that is basically a large flesh claw and has a flesh sword in his left-hand steps out of the forest)
Dark figure: AAAAARRRRRR!!!
(Miku scours behind Aquaman)
Aquaman: Don’t worry! I deal with worse!
(Aquaman pulls out a golden trident)
Miku: Where did you get that?
Aquaman: OUT OF MY ASS!!
Miku: Whoa! So cool!
(Aquaman leaps at the dark knight but the knight swipes him away straight to a tree)
Aquaman: MIKU!! RUN!! HE’S ABOVE MY LEVEL!!
Miku: AAAHHHH!!
(We move from Miku screaming as we cut to an average-looking man with short black hair and is wearing a blue shirt and jeans. He looks anxious as he looks at his surroundings)
??: Hey!
(The anxious man turns to the source of the sound and pulls out a gun at a tan man with long brown hair tied in a ponytail and wears a white button-down with a blue sweater vest over it, gray pants held in by a black belt, black shoes with white socks, and glasses)
Ponytail dude: Whoa! Calm down! No one needs to get hurt!
Anxious dude: Who the fuck are you!
Ponytail dude: My name is Alec and I think we’re in the situation!
Anxious dude: How do I know you're not lying!?
Alec: You should have gotten a note about what's happening?
Anxious dude: What note-
(A note flies straight into the man’s face)
Anxious dude: Shit!
(The man pulls the note from his face and reads it)
Anxious dude: A race huh…
Alec: Yeah… I’m not sure of the validity though it’s better than nothing.
Anxious dude: I see… Alec, right?
Alec: Yeah, uh…
Anxious dude: Franklin… Franklin Saint
Alec: I see… Franklin, I think it’s best that we stick together for right now.
Franklin: And why is that?
Alec: While I didn’t think we’re each other's partners, it would be a good move for us to have allies in this competition.
Franklin: Right… do you know the way?
Alec: I think. I saw someone fly over there (points south) so I suggest going there.
Franklin: You saw someone flying?
Alec: Yeah… If it wasn't for how I got here, I wouldn't believe it.
Franklin: Fine… I’ll trust you. But if I find out your lying, I’ll make sure you’ll regret it!
Alec: Alright…
(We transition from Alec and Franklin to the muscular man and short girl from before recovering from running from the dark knight)
Muscular man: Are you okay, Fuuko?
Fuuko: Yeah! What about you, Andy?
Andy: Feeling great!! Though fighting that nightmarish knight without a sword wasn’t my brightest idea.
(Andy looks at his now cut-off arm)
Fuuko: Ah… it’ll grow back!
Andy: Right!
(As quickly as we saw the halved arm, it grew back to a normal arm)
??: AAAAHHHH!
(Andy and Fuuko look behind them to see Aquaman and Miku run passed them)
Andy: Wait! If those guys are here… that-
Dark knight: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!
Andy: Well… shit!
(Andy picks up Fuuko and runs as fast as he can)
Aquaman: Yo!
Andy: Hey!
Aquaman: Running away for your life as well?
Andy: Yep!
??: Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Aquaman and Andy: Huh?!
(They turn to see a ninja with blue amour and a saucer-shaped helmet running with them on stilts. Well he actually running on swords)
Ninja : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Aquaman: What is he saying?
Miku: OH! Miku can translate it! He says “Enjoying the race?”
Andy: Hey! Do you know we’re being chased?!
Ninja: Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Miko: He says “What?”
(The ninja looks behind them and sees the dark knight)
Ninja : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Miko: He says “So the legends are true! Soul Edge is real!!
Fuuko: Soul Edge?!
Andy: What legends?!
Ninja: Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Miko: He says “I, Yoshimitsu, the leader of the Manji Clan, will defeat Nightmare and bring Soul Edge to the Clan!!!
(Yoshimitsu jumps backward straight towards the dark knight, Nightmare. Their blades collide, forming a dust cloud)
Miko: WHOA!
Aquaman: Do you think that ninja won?
Andy: Nah
(The dust clears and we see Yoshimitsu dancing)
Andy: Holy…
Aquaman: He actually won?!
??: Hey!!
(A hand suddenly grabs Yoshimitsu's neck)
??: You don’t get to celebrate my victory!
(A woman with long, wavy vermilion-colored hair and sharp teeth and wears a white tunic, a long, dark blue shirt with long sleeves over it, a purple sash, white trousers, a long red cape, and a red robe exits out the dust cloud)
Miko: She looks cool!
Fuuko: She looks like she would kill us all! Just my luck…
Angry woman: HEY!! ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME!?!!
Fuuko: Uh…
Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Miko: He says “Let me go, woman!”
(The woman throws Yoshimitsu at Miko)
Angry woman: WHOSE NEXT!!!
Fuuko: Andy?
Andy: Uh… sure! I’ll!
Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
(Yoshimitsu jumps up and stands back up)
Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Miko: He says “MINE MINE MINE!”
(Yoshimitsu flies straight to the angry woman and swings his sword at her, but she blocks it with her arm)
Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Miko: He says “Ooo… interesting! Who are you?
Angry woman: You want to know my name? (The area starts to heat up) I’M MEREOLEONA VERMILLION!! THE LIONESS OF THE CRIMSON LIONS!!
Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Miko: He says “WHO?!”
Meroleona: …
(Meroleona punches the ninja sending him back)
??: AAAAARRRRR!!
(Nightmare gets back up and looks ready to murder something)
Meroleona: You want to fight?!
Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises (points at Nightmare)
Meroleona: I’ll take both of you on!!
(As Meroleona, Yoshimitsu, and Nightmare circle each other, Aquaman looks at the others)
Aquaman: So… you guys want to go?
Miko: Yeah!
Fuuko: Yep!
Andy: Ah… I wanted to fight them too!
Fuuko: NO! If you joined the fight, this island might sink!
Andy: Fine…
(The four of them walk far from the conflict that is happening. Meanwhile, we cut to a big ass sign that is actually in a human language. A dark skin man with dark brown braids and wears a white sleeveless coat over a black hakama, white boots, longer gloves, a band-like visor, and an orange rope coming from his right shoulder looks at the sign… despite having a blindfold)
Blind dude: Hm… (touches and feels the sign) interesting
??: Hey dude… how are you able to read that?
(The blind dude turns to a man wearing baggy jeans, a brown hoodie, a graphic T-shirt, and a gray beanie with a yellow line in the middle)
Blind dude: Hm?
Beanie bro: I mean… you are wearing a blindfold and all of that?
Blind dude: The sign has braille on it.
Beanie bro: Oh right… the blind people's language!
Blind dude: …
Beanie bro: Uh… the name’s Jesse!
Blind dude: …
Jesse: Uh…
Blind dude: Tōsen, Kaname Tōsen
Jesse: Neat name! Uh… what does it say?
Tōsen: It says “You're on the right track, but I know most of you haven’t found your partner!”
Jesse: The sign is probably not wrong
Tōsen: “So we left hints for you guys to help you out!” …hm
(Tōsen grabs a card that was on the sign)
Tōsen: The card has my name and it says “The Soul Reapers”... must be the team name then…
(Suddenly, another card pops up on the sign)
Jesse: Whoa! Is this sign magic or I’m tripping out!?
(Jesse grabs the card)
Jesse: THE DRUG DEALERS?! That’s my team name!?! Come on! I left that life!
(Jesse turns the card around)
Jesse: Oi! There’s more stuff here?! It’s like a poem!
(Tōsen turns his card around)
Tōsen: “A warrior born of honor, not of woe. In every step, a tale of trials endured. In every scar, a testament assured. For he can’t fear his own world”
Jesse: Whoa man… that’s deep… I think?
Tōsen: I think I know who my partner is…
Jesse: Good for you! I don’t know what my poem says! Something about bricks and stuff?
Tōsen: Hm… I think I’ll go ahead
Jesse: What!? You can’t leave me al-
(Tōsen precedes to leave Jesse alone and flies out of there)
Jesse: Man…
(As Jesse wonders what the hell he’s going to do, he sees three men wearing colorful spandex marching through the coastline. One man has long blond dreads hanging from his shoulders. Another one also has dreads but is black and tied up in the back and also has a trumpet in his hands. The last man is more muscular and has shorter hair)
Jesse: What the fuck?!
Trumpet dude: Holy shit!! Aaron Paul
Jesse: Who?!
Trumpet dude: If you're not Aaron Paul… then who are you?
Jesse: JESSE FUCKING PICKMAN!!
Trumpet dude: Like… the Jesse Pickman?! The one who works with Walter White?!
Jesse: Uh… you're not feds right?
Trumpet dude: Nah! I’m like… one of your biggest fans!!
Jesse: Huh?
(The group runs towards Jesse, scaring the fuck out of him)
Jesse: What the fuck!
Trumpet dude: I’m Xavier Woods! (Points to the dreadlocked dude) This is Kofi Kingston! (Points to the muscular man) and this is Big E and we are (Plays his trumpet) THE NEW DAY!
Kofi and Big E: NEW DAY!!
(They started dancing for no reason, leaving Jesse stunned.)
(We move from Jesse possibly tripping to see a brown human-like coyote with tan fur in the middle of his body walking through the island)
Coyote: I have yet to see anyone… is this a trap from the trolls?
(As soon as he speaks, a little gray anthropomorphic ring-tailed lemur wearing a short-sleeved black bodysuit, an amber sleeveless top, and amber hi-tops, amber sports tape around her forearms and fingerless black gloves made of black and dark orange sports tape falling down a tree)
Lemur: Ow…
Coyote: (In his thoughts) Hmm… not dead. (Outloud) Are you okay?
Lemur: I’m good! Just slip on a tree!
Coyote: Oh…
Lemur: This is the first time I've had another person like me!
Coyote: You mean an anthropomorphic animal?
Lemur: Yeah! Even then I only say one human!
Coyote: Really? I haven’t seen a single person yet. I was beginning to think this was some sort of trap for me?
Lemur: A trap by who? Dr. Eggman?
Coyote: Dr. Eggman? Isn’t he dead?
Lemur: I don’t know what rock you’ve been living under, but he’s still kicking and doing evil!
Coyote: Hm… (a thought pops up in his mind) I’m curious… What is Sonic doing?
Lemur: Uh… it's been a bit since I’ve seen him, but he’s doing adventure stuff and saving people!
Coyote: Hm… I think we might be from different worlds!
Lemur: Really?! Like different dimensions?
Coyote: Right, Mrs… uh
Lemur: Oh right! I never introduce myself! I’m Tangle! Tangle the Lemur!!
Coyote: And my name is Coyote.
Tangle: …That’s it?
Coyote: Yeah?
Tangle: Huh…
Coyote: Anyway… I suggest sticking together til we meet our partners.
Tangle: Wouldn’t you be my partner?
Coyote: No… you don’t match the description on my card.
Tangle: What card?
Coyote: The cards at the sign?
Tangle: At that sign saying you're on the right path?
Coyote: Yes
Tangle: Oh… I didn’t see any card
Coyote: It literally said it had hints for our partners!
Tangle: Oh… well I found my partner when I saw them!!
Coyote: Good luck with that!
(Coyote walks away)
Tangle: Hey! Wait for me!
(Tangle follows Coyote as the journey to the middle of the island continues… shesh how did no one get there yet?)
(We cut back to that very helpful sign, as a short, golden-blond braided hair boy wearing a bright red, long-sleeved, hooded cloak, a black shirt, and black pants. The boy reads the sign and grabs a card. It reads Edward Elric and The Randos)
Edward: The Randos? What kind of team-
(Edward turns the card back)
Edward: “It’s random lol! Your partner is probably taller than you lolololololol!!” DAMIT! I’M NOT SHORT!!
??: Haha!
Edward: Who's laughing at me!!?
(Edward turns around to see a surprisingly tall girl with blond hair in a ponytail and an eyepatch and wearing a military style parka, sweatpants with a utility belt, and black gloves giggling. Right next to her is another much shorter girl with long brown hair and wearing a yellow shirt, short dark teal overalls, light-yellow lace-up shoes, and a yellow headband with a white heart on each side, who's laughing out loud)
Little girl: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Edward: HEY!! You're shorter than me!!
Little girl: Yeah! Because I’m a kindergartener!
Taller girl: Come on now, Fiore… stop teasing him!
Fiore: Nah… I’ll continue!
(Edward grits his teeth as Fiore grabs a card)
Fiore: Argh! Dude! I got to team up with him again!?
Edward: You… not talking about me right?
Fiore: Honestly, I wished!
Taller girl: Who are you talking about then?
Fiore: Not of your business!
Taller girl: Wha-
Fiore: None of your business!
Taller girl: Oh… okay?
Edward: What’s her problem?
Taller girl: I have no clue.
(The taller girl grabs a card and reads it “To Dee” and “The Fiction”)
Dee: The Fiction??
Edward: So you got a weird team as well?
Dee: Yeah… (turns the card around) “It’s a dog lol” What is this?!
Fiore: Ha! You got a horrible hint!
Dee: Hmp!
Edward: If it makes you feel better… my hint was that my partner was taller than me.
Fiore: OMG! That might be the worst one so far!
(Edward grunts his teeth)
Fiore: Okay! Enough of the chit-chat! We should go!
Edward: You can’t tell me what to do!
Fiore: You're right! I was talking to Dee!
Dee: Oh…
Edward: Hey! You can’t boss her around!
Fiore: Yes… Yes, I can! Come on, Dee!
Dee: Uh… see you later, Edward!
(Fiore and Dee head out, leaving Edward stunned. Alec and Franklin walk towards the sign and see Edward is stunned self)
Alec: Are you okay?
Edward: Yeah… just really confused. Like how does a teenager allow themself to be controlled by a toddler!?
Alec: A lot of trauma and a lot of unresolved personal issues
(Both Franklin and Edward look at him)
Alec: What?
Edward: Sounds like you have experience in this situation?
Alec: What- no?!
Franklin: Then why do you answer with an actual answer?
Alec: …
Edward: Welp… I’m done pondering… I’m going to find my partner.
(As Edward walks away, Alec picks up a card and reads it)
Alec: …Shit
(We cut to a pastel pink, dual ponytail hair girl wearing an ebony-black top under an unbuttoned, mustard-and-scarlet safari vest, black shorts black socks lime-and-flacken sneakers, emerald-green choker, dinosaur-tooth necklace, lime wristbands, yellow scrunchies in her hair, and sunglasses walking. Just walking)
Ponytail girl: …I feel like I’m going in circles…
(As soon as she says that, she accidentally walks into someone)
Ponytail girl: Ow…
??: Hey! Watch where you're going!!
(The person turns around to reveal a tall teenage girl with long blonde hime-cut hair wearing a white Victorian style frilled mini dress with long sleeves and fingerless gloves, a red checkered ascot tie with matching socks and a ruby red jewel on the tie, and heeled white boots.)
Ponytail girl: I’m so sorry!
Victorian girl: You better be! Do you know how much this cost!?
Ponytail girl: Uh…
(Another girl with brown hair and wearing a blue school uniform with a sky blue flat cap as well flicks the Victorian girl)
Victorian girl: Ow! Why did you do that, Asuka!!
Asuka: Because you got to chill, Lili!
Ponytail girl: Uh…
Asuka: Sorry about her! I’m Asuka! I assume you are here because of the race like us?
Ponytail girl: Yeah… I still haven’t found my partner. Have you found yours?
Asuka: Unfortunately, yes
(In a flashback, we see Asuka and Lili get dropped right in front of the sign. Asuka then reads the sign and grabs a card)
Asuka: “Your partner is right next to you” (Turns to look at Lili) …Shit
(Back to the present)
Ponytail girl: Oh… sorry for your loss
Lili: Hey! I’ll be a great partner unlike you two peasants!
Ponytail girl: I doubt it!
Lili: Hmp!
Asuka: Oh! By the way, I don’t think I got your name?
Ponytail girl: Oh! My name is Zoe! Nice to meet you Asuka!
Asuka: Same here Zoe!
(Lili looks more annoyed at them as they move toward the middle of the island)
(Speaking of the middle of the island, we cut to a sign saying “You're so close! You have like one more mile left!”. We see a girl with long blond hair (jesus christ there so many) wearing a white top and torn-up jean shorts and another girl with long black hair and wearing a blue beanie, a red jacket, a yellow shirt, and blue pants reading the sign)
Beanie girl: Oh butt knuckles… Another mile!?
Another blond girl: And my phone is going to die too!
(The beanie girl rolled her eyes)
Beanie girl: Not sure if my legs can handle walking again!
(Suddenly, a red-haired girl with a squirrel tail and wearing a brown bodysuit and a brown jacket with a squirrel on it over it burst out of a bush)
Squirrel Girl: Hey there! I’m Squirrel Girl! Do you want to be friends?!
Another blond girl: AHHH!!! Run away MK!!
(The blond girl runs away with MK following her)
MK: JULIA!! WAIT FOR ME!!
Squirrel Girl: Ah…
(A squirrel crawls towards Squirrel Girl, who gives it an acorn)
(We cut to a couple of stands, where a tall and big man wearing a green hoodie, a red vest over the hoodie, some Jordans, and a metal mask that cover most of his face chilling)
Masked man: Man… I could go for some Cheetos or Doritos…
(A cloud of puff smoke pops up in front of the masked man. The masked man inhales the smoke and coughs)
Masked man: What the fuck is this shit?! This is no methylenedioxymethamphetamine!!!
(A black and gray slender-looking devil with long pointed ears, two pairs of horns, and a long, thin, prehensile tail walks out of the smoke)
Devil dude: Holy shit!! (Points at the masked man) MF DOOM!!
MF DOOM: Holy shit! (Points to the devil) Satan Jr.!
Devil dude: I’m not Satan Jr! I’m not even related to that dude!
MF DOOM: Then who are you?!
Devil dude: I’m Adramelech! I’m one of the strongest devils ever and you should tremble upon my might!
MF DOOM: …Nah!
Adramelech: What? I’m the one who sent all the invites and made all the hints!
MF DOOM: …So? I didn’t even use any of those hints since I woke up right here!
Adramelech: …Damn… Should have not randomized the spawn points. Anyway… How long have you been here?
MF DOOM: Three hours
Adramelech: Shesh…
MF DOOM: Can I get some Doritos? I’m starved
Adramelech: You have to wait till your partner gets here before getting a reward.
MF DOOM: A bag of Doritos is a reward?! I can buy 10 for 10 dollars!
Adramelech: Well too bad! There is no intelligent life other than the other contestants! Just sit back and wait!
MF DOOM: How about I eat you!?
Adramelech: Nope! You just got to- WAIT WHAT!?
MF DOOM : Imagine eating roasted devil or BBQ devil!
Adramelech: Aye yo!
MF DOOM: Though I’m probably going to need a lot of cayenne pepper though!
Adramelech: ALRIGHT!! I’ll get you your damn Doritos!
??: What is this foolishness!!!?
(MF DOOM and Adramelech turn to see a tall figure with a black bodysuit with various armored components and a helmet with a large, stylized black manta ray design on the front and glowing red eyes)
Adramelech: OH MY-
??: Shut it fool!
Adramelech: Bruh… I was going to introduce you!
??: I don’t need an introduction, as I can introduce myself!
(Adramelech shrugs)
??: I will conquer this race, destroy Atlantis, kill Aquaman, and become the king of the world! For I! Black Manta! Will start with you! (Points at MF DOOM)
MF DOOM: …You really think you can take on the illest villain!
Black Manta: You are no villain!!
(Black Manta pulls out a trident and jumps at MF DOOM, but stops midair)
MF DOOM: What the-
Black Manta: WHAT?!
(Suddenly Black Manta is flown away)
Black Manta (fading): AAAAAAHHHHHH!
MF DOOM: What the fuck just happen?!
??: Well… I can explain!
(MF DOOM and Adramelech turn to see an orange-skinned woman with some sort of head-tail that is blue and white striped and wears sleeveless dark blue robes)
MF DOOM: Are you my partner?
Alien lady: Nope… I can tell by the force.
MF DOOM: Like the Jedi shit?
Alien lady: …Yeah
MF DOOM: …Neat
Adramelech: Okay Miss Ahsoka Tano! Just sit down and relax!
Ahsoka: Uh… how do you know my name?
Adramelech: Uh… Because I sent out the invites?
Ahsoka: So you're the one who brought us here?
Adramelech: Not really… but yes! I was the one who picked you guys!
(Ahsoka pulls out a lightsaber)
MF DOOM: Now hold on… he still owns me a bag of Doritos!
Ahsoka: …And?
MF DOOM: Once he gets me my bag, you can murk him!
Adramelech: You know I’m still here right?
MF DOOM: GET ME MY BAG OF DORITOS!!!
(Adramelech rolls his eyes and puffs out in a cloud of smoke)
(We cut to a medium-length dark brown hair girl who wears a camouflage tank top, black rider pants with gray metal designs and red knee pads, and black rider gloves reading the superful help sign. She picks up a card and reads it)
Biker girl: … “Your partner is about to fly straight into the sign”. Wha-
(Mereoleona flies straight into the sign)
Biker girl: WHAT THE HELL!!
Mereoleona: HAHAHA!!! Is that all you got!
(Nightmare suddenly appears up in the air)
Nightmare: AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!
Meroleaona: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Fire Magic: Calidus Brachium!!!!
(Flames surround Meroleaona’s fist as Nightmare’s Soul Edge and her fist collide)
Nightmare: AAARRRGGHHH!!!!
Meroleaona: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
(The force between the colliding sends them back and the biker girl even further into a forestry area)
Biker girl: Ow…
??: Hey… are you okay?!
(The biker girl looks up to see a girl with long black hair and wears a white sleeveless dress with red and blue Ainu-inspired designs)
Biker girl: Uh… I’m good!
(The biker girl quickly gets up)
Biker girl: Uh… my name is Akira Kazama.
??: I’m Nakoruru! Nice to meet you!
(Explosions can be heard as Meroleaona and Nightmare continue to fight)
Nakoruru: If they continue to fight… the forest will be destroyed and soon the island!
Akira: How can we stop them!?
Nakoruru: I’m not su-
??: YOSH!!
(Quickly, Yoshimitsu jumps out of the air and cuts Nightmare’s hand with the sword sending it flying)
Nightmare: ARR!?!
(Nightmare falls down as Yoshimitsu celebrities for his victory)
Akira: Well-
(Meroleaona punches Yoshimitsu into the ground. She then catches the falling Soul Edge in style)
Nakoruru: Wha-
Akira: She’s so cool!!
Meroleaona: WHO GOES THERE!!
Akira: OH SH-
(Meroleaona quickly jumps right in front of them and snarls at them)
Meroleaona: Who are you?
Akira: Uh… I might be your partner?
Meroleaona: My partner? How do you know?
Akira: From this card! (Pulls out the hint card and shows it to her)
Meroleaona: Hm… (Looks at Akira and Nakoruru) HAHAHA!! I see it now! I’ll make you both excellent warriors!!
Nakoruru: Wait! But I’m not your-
(A fire paw plops on her head and lifts her up)
Nakoruru: AHH!!
Akira: NAK-
(Another fire paw grabs Akira’s head and lifts her up to. The paws with the girls then surround Meroleaona)
Akira: HEY! Let me go!
Meroleaona: Nah…
(She then walks towards Yoshimitsu and grabs him with a fire paw. She then walks where Nightmare was, but instead of a monstrous knight, a young man with long blond hair in silver amour is lying down)
Meroleaona: Hm?
Silver knight: Uuuhhh…
(The knight slowly opens his eyes)
Silver knight: I’m… free? I’M FREE!!
(The turns to see a smirking Meroleaona)
Silver knight: Were you the one to save me?
Meroleaona: Hm… I guess…
(The knight knees in front of her)
Silver Knight: I, Siegfried Schtauffen, is forever in your debt!
Meroleaona: Hmp…
(A fiery paw grabs Siegfried’s head)
Siegfried: Huh?!
(The paw lifts Siegfried and groups him with the rest of the group)
Akira: She got you to?
Siegfried: Yeah…
(Meroleaona begins to walk with the four pretty much on her back. However, tall and lean-built man with short black hair, three scars straight over his right eye, the number "69" tattooed on his left cheek as well as a blue-striped tattoo running across his left cheek. This man wears a white shirt, a black kosode, a black long skirt, white socks, and wooden sandals. He points a sword at Meroleaona, who snarls at him)
69 man: Stop right there! Let those innocent people go and drop that devil sword. The man points at Soul Edge, which Meroleaona is holding)
Meroleaona: These “innocent people” are my partners!
69 man: I don’t think that's how it works!
Siegfried: Hey! You should probably listen to him and drop the sword!
Meroleaona: Why?
Siegfried: Because it turned me into that freak and it would try to consume your soul!
Meroleaona: Nah, I won’t let that happen to me!
69 man: You should listen to your “partner”!
Meroleaona: (Points Soul Edge to the man) I’ll tear you to shreds!
69 man: Sighs… Fine, if you want to do this… Reap! Kazeshini!!
(The man’s sword turns into two kusarigama with two scythe blades on each stick chained together. He then spins the weapon and rushes Meroleaona. She points Soul Edge at him but freezes for a second as she hears something)
Creepy voices (in Meroleaona’s head): ASSAAAAHHMMJKAKKAA!!!!
Meroleaona: What?
Creepy voices (in Meroleaona’s head): ASSAAAAHHMMJKAKKAA!!!!
(Meroleaona shakes her head, drops the sword, and uppercuts the man right in the chin, almost knocking him out)
69 man: Agh….
Meroleaona: Hmp… how do you like that?
69 man: Ow…
(Meroleaona shrugs before a fiery paw grabs the man and groups him with the others. She then picks up Soul Edge and starts moving from this scene)
Akira: So… new guy? What’s your name?
69 man: …Hisagi… Shūhei Hisagi…
Meroleaona: Aw… you guys introducing yourself!
Hisagi: Let me go, woman!!
Meroleaona: Nah! You're now a part of my group and we will conquer this race together!
Hisagi: That’s not how this works!
Akira: I don’t think she cares
Meroleaona: Damn right!
(We cut back to the stands as Adramelech puffs back with a bag of Doritos)
MF DOOM: Alright!
(MF DOOM grabs the bag and opens it up. He pours the entire bag into his mouth and eats all the damn Doritos)
Adramelech: …
MF DOOM: What?
Adramelech: That was a family-sized bag!
(MF DOOM shrugs)
Ahsoka: How long do you plan on holding us here?
Adramelech: Till your partner comes. Until then… you have to stay here!
Ahsoka: Tsk…
??: So… I’m not the first one here?
(Adramelech turns and sees Tōsen arrive)
Adramelech: Ah Tōsen! Technically you're the fourth here, but Ahsoka flung Black Manta away and technically no one is here yet since none of your partners are here yet.
Tōsen: Hm… I thought he would be here already…
Ahsoka: Who are you referring to?
Tōsen: My partner
Ahsoka: You know your partner?
Tōsen: Yes
Ahsoka: Why didn’t you seek him?
Tōsen: Because… we have a… trouble history together and-
??: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
(The group turns their heads to see Juila and MK running for their lives)
MF DOOM: What the?
Julia: THERE’S A HUMAN SQUIRREL CHASING US!!!
Adramelech: A human squirrel?
Squirrel Girl: Hey ya!
Julia : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Squirrel Girl: I didn’t need to freak you out like that!
Julia: Get away you freak!
(Squirrel Girl gives her puppy eyes… or squirrel eyes in this case)
Julia: EW!EW!!
MK: Hehe…
Julia: This isn’t funny!!
(Adramelech claps his hands, gathering attention towards him)
Adramelech: Congrats! Julia and MK on being the first pair to get here!!
(Suddenly, confetti flies over Julia and MK, leaving both of them confused)
MK: So… are you the host of this… race?
Adramelech: Nope! It’s someone you're probably familiar with!
MK: I swear to god if it’s Chris Mclean… I’m killing myself!
(Adramelech waves his hands and a cloud of smoke puffs up and a man with brown hair and wearing a white shirt, a green jacket over it, and some jeans emerges from the smoke and smirks)
Adramelech: Welcome our host, DON!!
Don: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race!!! I’m your host Don and with me is the demon, Adramelech!!
Adramelech: Devil! Not a demon!
Don: Right…
MF DOOM: Wait… why is the acronym the TUPAC race??
(Both Don and Adramelech shrug)
MF DOOM: So there’s no explanation?!?!
Don: Hey man! Are you acting like we named the show?! We’re just the hosts!
MF DOOM: Wait… but Adramelech said he picked us?
Don: Well I’m the face of the race! Adramelech is kinda like the Doctor or Mr. Orc of this competition!
Adramelech: Nice to feel wanted… and don’t compare me to that racist Mr. Orc!
Don: Uh… moving on! Julia and MK! You both earn a special advantage for the next challenge!
Julia: Ooo! What is it?
Don: Can’t say as production has yet to approve the next challenge!
MK: WHAT?!
Don: Yeah… apparently this is just the pilot.
Julia: So you guys just kidnap us for a show that may not even happen!
Don: …Yes!
Julia: I’m suing!
Don: Good luck with that!
Julia: Augh!
Don: Well, meanwhile, the Masterminds-
MK: The what?
Don: Your team name!
MK: Oh…
Julia: You know… that’s a good name for us!
MK: Yep!
Don: Ahem! Anyway, the Masterminds for right now will be given a private cabana along with the next four teams that get here!
Julia: Yes!
(The Masterminds walk towards the private cabanas, which were there this entire time)
MF DOOM: We had cabanas this entire time?
Adramelech: Yeah
MF DOOM: I did not see them the entire time I’ve been here!
Adramelech: That’s your problem!
(While that is happening, Coyote and Tangle enter the scene)
Coyote: So… this is the middle of the island.
Tangle: WHOA!! (Points to Ashoka) I think that’s my partner!
Ashoka: Me?
Tangle: No! Her!
(Squirrel Girl pops behind Ashoka)
Squirrel Girl: ME?!
Tangle: YEAH!!
Squirrel Girl: REALLY!! Will you be my friend too!?
Tangle: YES!!
Squirrel Girl: OMG!!
(Both of them celebrate like they won first place lol)
Coyote: I’m not sure that’s how this whole partner thing works…
Squirrel Girl: You're just jealous!
Don: No, no! Mr. Coyote is very correct as the teams are predetermined!
Tangle and Squirrel Girl: Aw…
Don: But Mr. Coyote is also very wrong because you guys are a team!!
Tangle and Squirrel Girl: YEPPIE!!
Coyote: Huh… I guess the third time's the charm.
Don : Congrats to the Longtails on being the second team to make it!
Squirrel Girl: The Longtails?
Tangle: I think it’s because of our very long tails!!
Squirrel Girl: Oh cool!
Coyote (in his mind): Hm… seems like teams can be people from different universes…
(The Longtails head towards the cabanas as Don and Adramelech hear trumpets)
Don: What is that?
Adramelech: The best tag team in the history of professional wrestling!
(Kofi and Big E clap and Xavier plays his trumpet as they march to the stands. Jesse is also there with them, covering his ears)
Kofi: NEW DAY ROCKS!
Big E: NEW DAY ROCKS!
Xavier : New Day Rocks in trumpet
Don: Hey!
Kofi: NEW DAY ROCKS!
Don: HEY!!!
Big E: NEW DAY ROCKS!!!
(Don shoves a big rock into Xavier’s trumpet, shutting him up)
Xavier: NOOOO!! FRANCESCA!!!
Jesse: Dude… thank you! That damn trumpet was fucking loud as shit!
Don: It was my pleasure! Though your partner is not here so you have joined the others in the stands!
(Jesse looks as MF DOOM and Ashoka wave at him)
Jesse: Ah man…
(Jesse goes to sit down)
Don : The New Day! Congrats on being the third team to get here!
Xavier: Yes sir!
Don: Head over to the cabanas! That’s your reward for getting here for right!
Kofi: There better be pancakes!
Big E: AND BOOTY-O’S!!!
(The New Day march and dance their way towards the cabanas)
MF DOOM: Man… Booty-O’s sound good right now!
(Coyote and Jesse look at the big man in disbelief)
Don: Only two more teams left to get the all-inclusive private cabanas! Who will get them? That question will be answered soon!
Jesse: Who's he talking to?
Adramelech: The audience…
Jesse: AHH!! A DEVIL!!
(Adramelech rolls his eyes as Jesse screams. As Jesse slowly calms down, Fiore and Dee walk toward the stands)
Don: Welcome Fiore and… uh… (Look at Dee) Who are you?
Dee: Huh?
Don: Like I know everyone’s name and their basic appearance and you don’t match anything in my memory.
Dee: Uh…
Don: Hm… let me see… What’s your name?
Dee: …Dee…
Don: Hm, Dee… Dee… (eyes widen in realization) DEE DEE!! Like… Dee Dee from Dexter's Laboratory!?!
Dee: Yeah… (rubs the back of her head) That's me!
Don: Uh… (Looks up and down) Excuse my language but WHAT THE FUCK HAPPEN?!!?
Dee: War…
(Don's jaw figurative drops to the floor before shaking his head)
Don: Wow… uh… Wile E!
(Brief silence)
Don: WILE E. COYOTE!!
(Coyote looks around and then points to himself)
Coyote: You're talking to me?
Don: Yes!
Coyote: My name is just Coyote.
Don: What? Really?
Coyote: Yep!
Don (whispering to Adramelech): Dude… what’s going on? Why does Dee Dee look so different and why does Wile E. Coyote only refer to himself as Coyote??
Adramelech (whispering): So… like… days after you sign your contract, production said the Warner Bros team sucked ass and needed a new team but I know my future co-host liked that team so I compromised and used the super depressing versions from Scoob and Shag and Tails gets Trolled!
Don (whispering): But those are fan fiction! Not even official media!
Adramelech (whispering): …Why do you care that much?
Don (whispering): Because they were my favorite team!
Adramelech (whispering): Eh… you’re get over it!
Don (whispering): sighs… Just tell me their team name so we can get this over with.
Adramelech (whispering): The Fiction!!!
(Don just looks at the devil in disappointment before facing Dee and Coyote)
Don : Sorry for the confusion, Dee and Coyote! But you, the Fiction, are the fourth team to get here and will be rewarded with a private cabana!
Coyote: Is there weed there?
Don: Uh… yeah there’s weed?
Coyote: Bet!
Don (in his mind): My entire childhood… ruined by a single line of dialogue!
(Coyote leaves and heads towards the cabanas. Dee starts to follow him but…)
Fiore: Where do you think you're going?
Dee : Huh?!
Fiore: You heard me!
Dee: Uh… well… I found my partner so I’m going to cab-
Fiore: No! We're going to the cabana!
Dee: But-
Fiore: Dee! Remember that we agree that we share rewards!
Dee: I don’t think that’s allowed with this reward…
Fiore: Well… I guess none of us can use the cabana then!
Dee: Uh-
??: Fiore!! Leave her alone!!
(Fiore freezes in place as Alec walks into the area with Franklin and Edward following behind. Dee slowly runs towards the cabanas)
Fiore: Oh great… you’re here!
Alec: I see you’ve learned nothing from our season!
Fiore: Learn what? You're a sore loser!
Alec: Me? A sore loser? Says the one who lost to an old woman!
Fiore: When did you get so snappy?
Alec: Since you betrayed me!
Jesse: Yo! This is crazy!
Franklin: A grown-ass man is fighting a child!
Alec: This child is a manipulator!
Don: And your partner!
Alec: I know!
Don: Oh… Well, the Father and Daughter Duo, is the fifth team to get here!
Fiore: Ugh! Can you at least change the name!?
Adramelech: Nah… the fans of Disventure Camp loved your relationship!
Fiore: A relationship that’s in a ditch!
Adramelech: And I don’t care!! Enjoy the cabana!
Alec: Sighs…
(Alec begins to walk towards the cabanas)
Don: But wait! There’s more!
Alec: What is it now?
Don: Since Franklin is here, another team has been found!
Franklin: My partner’s here?
(Franklin looks around)
Franklin: It is that big motherfucker? (points at MF DOOM)
MF DOOM: Did he just call me Biggie??
Jesse: I think you just misheard.
Adramelech: Nah… he's not your partner! Reread your very useful hint!
Franklin: Sighs… (Pulls out his hint card) “This ain't chemistry – this is art. Cooking is art.” …How the fuck is this post to help me?!
Jesse: Wait… that sounds like something I would say!
(Franklin looks at Jesse)
Franklin: That’s my partner!??!?
Adramelech: Yep!
Franklin Saint: How the fuck am I post to work with this!?
Jesse: HEY!
Adramelech: Figure it out, my boy! That’s not really my problem!
Don : Congrats on the Drug Dealers for also being the fifth team here! You guys and the Father and Daughter duo will share the fifth cabana!
Fiore: Oh hell no!
Don: Oh hell yes! Plus, weren’t you the one that wanted to share a cabana?
Fiore: Ugh!
Jesse: Man… I don’t share with the brat!
Don: Stop complaining or I'll give the cabana to another team!
(Both teams shut up and head straight to the cabanas)
(Meanwhile, Zoe and Asuka talking as they walk behind Lili, who is covering her ears)
Lili (In her thoughts): Can they shut up for one second!?
Zoe: Hey! What’s that?
(Zoe points at a fallen Black Manta, but they don’t who that is)
Asuka: Hm… what is this?
Zoe: I think it’s some sort of suit of armor?
Lili: (turns around) What are you guys doing!!
Asuka: LOOK! A suit of armor!!!
Lili: …I have several in my room!
Zoe: Uh…
(Black Manta’s body starts to move)
Zoe: It’s moving!!!
Asuka: IT’S HAUNTED?!
(Black Manta’s head looks up and his eyes glow red)
Zoe: Uh…
Lili: RUN!!
(They run away as Black Manta gets up and starts chasing them)
(Over to cabanas, Julia and MK are chilling)
MK: Ah… This is the life!
Julia: Yep…
(Julia then smells something)
Julia: EW!! Why does it all a sudden smell like that hippie camp I went to!?
MK: You went to a hippie camp?
Julia: Well, I had to go for a video back then when I was pretending to be one.
(The smell gets worse)
Julia: Ugh! This is ruining my cabana!!
(Julia gets up and exits out of the cabana. She sniffs and her nose leads her to the fourth cabana, the Fiction’s cabana)
Julia: HEY!!! YOU'RE STICKING UP THE PLACE!!!!
(Dee looks up with a gas mask on)
Dee: Uh… you don’t need to be yelling that loud…
Julia: I don’t care! You guys are trying to smoke us out!
Dee: Uh… One, it’s just him smoking
(Points at Coyote, who is smoking a fat blunt right now)
Coyote: He…he
Dee: Second, he’s just enjoying himself!
Julia: Then why are you wearing a gas mask?
Dee: Um… because I’m straight edge… and I don’t want to inhale any of it…
Julia: If you're straight edge, then why allow him to smoke weed??
Dee: (Shrugs) It’s life, not mine… almost all of my friends smoke it as well…
Julia: Well it smells awful and it needs to be stopped!
(Suddenly, Xavier runs to the cabana Dee is in)
Xavier: HEY! STOP SMOKING WEED!?
Coyote: Why dude?
Xavier: BECAUSE THE VAPORS ARE CAUSING BIG E TO REVERT TO HIS GOSPEL GIMMICK!!
Big E (In the background): BROTHERS AND SISTERS!! WE COME TO PRAISE THE LORD AND HIS FINE WORKS!!
Kofi (In the background): BIG E!! GET A GRIP!! YOU'RE NOT IN 2014 ANYMORE!!!
Coyote: Man… that might just be his true nature!
Xavier: No!
Coyote: Oh well then… (takes a puff from his blunt) Not our problem!
Xavier: DUDE!!
(Uh… we cut from that fuckvest to the stands, as MF DOOM gets more bored and annoyed)
MF DOOM: First one here… but going to be the last one here!!
Ashoka: I feel you…
(Tōsen nods)
MF DOOM: Devil dude! Get us some cheetos or fritos!
Adramelech: No!
MF DOOM: Come on now!
Adramelech: Just wait like… another hour!
MF DOOM: Another what?!
??: HELP!!
(Adramelech turns to see Zoe, Asuka, and Lili running for their lives)
Adramelech: What the-
(The girls split and a laser beam is fired right at Adramelech, sending him flying)
MF DOOM: OH SHIT!
(Black Manta jumps into view)
Black Manta: Guess who’s back!
MF DOOM: Oh this motherfucker is back!
Black Manta: I don’t know what happened last time but I will take my revenge!
(Ahsoka raises her hand at him but Black Manta fires a laser beam from his helmet at her)
Tōsen: Hmp!
(Tōsen grabs Ahsoka and flies away from the beam as it destroys the stands)
Black Manta: Nuisances…
??: MANTA!!
(Black Manta turns to see someone we haven’t seen for a while… Aquaman)
Black Manta: Aquaman! It’s been a while! How’s the wife and kid?
Aquaman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
(Aquaman jumps at Black Manta and starts brawling with each other)
MF DOOM: DAMN!
Ahsoka: We should stop this!
Tōsen: Hm… no… this is destiny!
(Miku, Andy, and Fuuko run to see the two fighting)
Miku: Aquaman! Beat his ass!!
(Andy giggles and Fuuko tries to hide a snicker)
Andy: You got him, dude!
(Aquaman gives them a thumbs up before Black Manta punches him away. He pulls two blades and jumps at Aquaman. Aquaman pulls out his trident and prepares to counterattack. Before anything cool happens, magic seals appear on Aquaman and Black Manta and they stop in their tracks)
Andy: Wha-
Fuuko: It's like they are stuck in time or something like that!
Adramelech: Yep… pretty much that.
(Adramelech walks towards them and faces them)
Adramelech: Don’t want future teammates killing themselves! Bad for the brand you know.
Fuuko: THEIR TEAMMATES!!!
Andy: Hmm… that makes sense on why he started to speed up after reading his hint…
Adramelech: DON! Where did you go?!
Don: Uh…
(Don reappears behind a tree)
Don: I’ve been here the entire time
Adramelech: Sure…
Don: Anyway… um anyway to stop them from colliding when they unfreeze?
Edward: Got it!
(Edward claps his hand and touches the ground. The ground lights up and forms a wall between Aquaman and Black Manta)
Don: Nice!
(The rest of the contestants clap)
Andy: That’s pretty cool!
Adramelech: It was pretty alright…
Edward: Uh… thanks?
Don: Since so many teams came in, we got to congrats them
Adramelech: No… no we don’t! There were five teams that got here before them and therefore no special reward!
Don: Yeah, true, but… They aren't the last ones!
Adramelech: Right… they don’t have to worry about a disadvantage.
Edward: What’s the disadvantage?
Adramelech: Don’t worry about it!
Don: Because we don’t know yet!
Edward: Great…
Don: Anyway… (looks at Asuka and Lili) Congrats on being the sixth team to arrive!
Lili: Hmp! We should have been first if I hadn’t slowed down!
Asuka: I could say the same thing!
Don : With how they act, you can say they're the Rivals!
Adramelech: …
Don: Come on! That was good!
(Adramelech shakes his head)
Don: Fine… let's move on to the most random team ever!!
(Edward looks at the other contestants and back at his hint)
Edward: Uh…
Don: Having a hard time figuring out your partner?
Edward: Uh-
Don: It’s okay! We can just skip you for right now!
Edward: Wait-
Don: Let's welcome the Musicians! MF DOOM and Hatsune Miku!!
MF DOOM: Finally!
(MF DOOM jumps down from the stands and shakes the earth)
Don: Whoa!
Miku: Whoa!
Adramelech: He he… he shakes the earth because he’s-
(MF DOOM grabs the devil’s neck and violently shakes him)
Adramelech: AH!! I’M SORRY!! I’LL GET YOU FORTIOS!
Miku: Can I get cheetos too?
(MF DOOM glares at Adramelech)
MF DOOM: You heard the girl! Get two family-size bags of Fritos and Cheetos!
(Adramelech gives him a thumbs up and puffs out of there)
Miku: YA!! Cheetos!
Don : Enjoy your highly processed corn chips! Meanwhile, let's welcome the Negators, Andy and Fuuko Izumo!
Andy: I’m ready to crush this competition!
Fuuko: Yeah… he he…
Don: Edward… have you figured out your partner yet?
Edward: No! My hint just says they're taller than me!!
Don: Does it say how tall?
Edward: No! This hint sucks!
Zoe: Wait! I think… I might be his partner!
Edward: HUH?!
Don: Yep! You're correct!
Edward: HUH!?!
Don : Let's welcome the Randos to the Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race!
Edward: …
Zoe: Can we get a better name? Like every other team has a theme and cool name but we’re just the Randos?
Don: Because that is the theme!
Edward: Wha-
Don: Anyway, until Aquaman and Black Manta unfreeze, that’s it from me!
Edward: Wait! Hold on!
(Adramelech poofs back in with a bag of Fritos and cheetos)
MF DOOM: YES!
(MF DOOM grabs the bags and gives the bag of Cheetos to Miku)
Miku : Cheerful noises
(They proceed to inhale the entire family-size bags)
Adramelech: …
Edward: Hey devil dude! What the hell is our theme?!
Adramelech: …
Edward: Hey! Don’t ignore me!
Adramelech: I think it’s time to release those two!
(Adramelech snaps his fingers and the magic seals on Aquaman and Black Manta disappear, unfreezing them and causing them to hit the wall)
Aquaman: Ow… fuck!
Black Manta: DAMNIT!!
Don: Congrats to you both!
Black Manta: ??
Don : Aquaman and Black Manta, the Ocean Enemies, are the last team to be safe from a disadvantage!
Black Manta: Oh hell naw!! I’m not working with him!
Aquaman: Yeah! I’m not working with a psycho!
Don: Well… you're a team now and you both got to deal with it!
Aquaman: Not cool!
Black Manta: You better not cost me anything or else?
Aquaman: Or what?
Black Manta: I’ll send you where I sent your son!
(Aquaman gets very pissed off as Black Manta walks off)
Don: Uh… There are only four teams that have yet to come and I can’t wait to show them to you!
Ashoka: …
Tōsen: …
Don: I know you poor folks are waiting patiently for your partners… but I think they will be here anytime soon… hopefully.
Ahsoka: …
Tōsen: …
Adramelech: Hey… do you want Wingstop?
Don: Yes! I’m starving!
Adramelech: Neat! (Look at the others) Do you guys want Wingstop!?
Ahsoka: …
Tōsen: …
Adramelech: I think they want some! See ya!
(Adramelech peaces out)
Don: Wait… Wingstop is going to take forever!
Tōsen: …Hm
Ahsoka: I sense a disturbance in the force!
Tōsen: You too?
Don: Wha-
(Flame columns appear behind Don)
Don: HOLY-
(Out of the flames, comes the hunking lioness, Mereoleona, with Soul Edge over her shoulder)
Don: Wow… that’s a cool entrance if you say so myself!
(Mereoleona smirks at him before placing Soul Edge on the ground. She leans on it as she looks Don straight in the eyes)
Mereoleona: Damn right! I assume you're the head honcho here!
Don: Uh… Yep!
Mereoleona: So… You would allow my group here?
Don: Uh… What group?
Mereoleona: My group is right here!
(Fire arms extend from her back and Hisagi, Nakoruru, Yoshimitsu, Akira, and Siegfried emerge, each with a fire paw on their heads)
Don: HOLY!?!
Mereoleona: You like it huh?
(Before Don can respond, Tōsen teleports in front of him and points a sword at Mereoleona)
Tōsen: Let my lieutenant go!
Mereoleona: Hm? Don’t you mean former lieutenant? Besides, I won’t give a traitor what he wants!
Hisagi: How do you know??
Mereoleona: Just because I was silent during all of your backstory talk does not mean I wasn’t listening!
Hisagi: Oh…
Don: Alright guys! You don’t have to fight! Let's solve this civilly okay?
(Mereoleona snarls at him)
Don: Miss Vermillion, which one is your favorite so far?
Mereoleona: Hm…
(A fire paw with Akira comes forward)
Mereoleona: This one… I think?
Akira: Let me go!
Don: Well that's your partner! Can you please let the others go!?
Mereoleona: …Fine
(The flame arms disappear and drop the other captured contestants on the ground)
Nakoruru: I’M FREE!!
Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Siegfried: …
Akira: I’m stuck with her!?
Mereoleona: You got a problem with that?
Akira: Yes!
Don : With both of your fiery attitudes, you both make the perfect fit for the Fighters!
(Mereoleona smirks upon hearing this)
Don : Next up is Hisagi and Tōsen! The Soul Reapers!!
Hisagi: So… we’re working together again…
Tōsen: Seems like it
Hisagi: And here I thought I was able to move on… sighs
Don : Next up is the Ninjas, the nature freak Nakoruru and ninja Robin Hood Yoshimitsu!!
Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises
Nakoruru: Same here!
(Ahsoka leaves the stands and heads toward Siegfried)
Ahsoka: So… since we are the last ones, that makes us a team.
(Siegfried nods)
Don : You both are correct! You both are the Light and the Dark ! Or the Light in this case?
Siegfried: What do you mean?
Don: Production wants you and Nightmare to switch every other episode.
Siegfried: No way! I’m not wielding that forsaken blade!
Don: Too bad! You got to… soon… not now anyway.
(Adramelech pops back in with a huge paper bag)
Adramelech: I GOT THE WINGS!
Mereoleona: DEVIL!!
(Mereoleona rushes to Adramelech)
Adramelech: WAIT!!! AH!
(Mereoleona punches Adramelech straight in the jaw and sends him straight into the ground. The now defeated Adramelech lies in a crater, Yamcha style. The Wingstop fails to the ground.)
Don: …
Tōsen: …I wanted to try some…
Don: Well folks! That’s all the teams for the Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race!! Which one is your favorite? Which one is not your favorite? Who cares! Because we are just starting! Tune in next time… if production actually approves this…
Akira: Wait… if they don’t approve… Does this mean we were kidnapped for nothing?!
Don: …Maybe.
(Don shrugs as he walks away and the screen fades straight to the into… that is happening at the ending and is not even finished... lol.)