Chapter Text
Fanart (by me) that inspired this fic: Freaky Motherf*ckers
STOLAS
˚· ✦.✧˳·˖✶ ☾ ✶˖·˳✧.✦ ·˚
Stolas groaned as the blackness of sleep drifted into memory and his mind caught up with the present. He remembered singing at Verosika’s party, recalled Blitzø crashing it, then there was that other very attractive imp he'd danced with… The rest was a complete blank.
With a heavy sigh, he sat up—well, tried to. Not even halfway upright, something attached to his head snagged on the arm of the couch and yanked fun back down with a grunt.
Where am I?
The room around him was tiny, cozy but messy. Quite messy. Still, he tried not to judge. Not everyone could afford a butler or a maid, that wasn't their fault. Still, there was cereal in the carpet, clothing strewn about—and none of it his, from what he could see—and a horse calendar on the wall that made him think of Blitz.
He sighed, shaking his head. He couldn't let his mind keep wallowing like this. He had to get up and get moving. This wasn't his home and he didn't want to overstay his welcome.
I must have gone home with that dashing imp man. Oh dear, did we…? I don't even remember his name! I hope he doesn't think horribly of me for it, I had far too much to drink. Not that I regret dancing with him, kissing him, touching him…
The memories sent a stirring through his loins and he felt movement under his blanket. Staring down at himself, he realized something was off. The scale, first of all. The couch must have been enormous if he fit on it so easily, but it didn't seem so large compared to everything else. Second, his boner was enormous . His tail lashed out from beneath the threadbare blanket he’d been sleeping under, and that was his final clue. He didn’t see a flash of long feathers, but a serpentine red whip with a familiar pointed black tip.
Oh. Oh no.
In a panic, he flung off the blanket and jumped to his feet, but the weight of his horns threw off his momentum and he went crashing into the nearest wall. His whole body felt heavier than he was used to, his limbs short and strong, but distinctly not his . He knew this body well, however, and he didn’t need a mirror to confirm what he already knew from the white scarring he’d traced over a dozen times, the long tail he’d felt wrap around him in so many places, and, of course, that cock.
“Need any help out there, asshole?” Loona’s voice rang out from a door covered in yellow caution tape and KEEP OUT signs.
“Ah, no. Nope.” Stolas said back quickly, a little too quickly perhaps. His head swam at hearing Blitz’s voice come out of his own mouth
If this had happened even just a few days ago, this would have been a dream come true. Today, however, after he’d finally gotten some kind of closure, some kind of progress in moving on… Of course this was when he managed to get himself stuck in his exe’s mother fucking body. Just when he thought he might be able to make a clean break and maintain some independence, to try and heal and move forward.
I can’t just stand here gawking. I need to find him. We need to fix this.
“You sure about that, weirdo?” Loona called out after a few moments of quiet.
“Yes, quite. Um, I mean, yeah. I’m fine.” He adjusted, trying to mimic Blitzø as best he could. It wasn’t as convincing as he’d hoped.
“Uh…huh.” Loona’s unconvinced reply sent him into a panic.
Stolas had on Blitzø’s underwear, but nothing else to speak of, so he quickly rummaged through the tiny den for clothes, finding discarded pants strewn across the TV and a shirt on the ground near the couch. He wobbled as he walked, the weight from his horns sending him careening around like a fresh sailor on his first day at sea. He got his legs into his pants, but had to take a moment to figure out the tail hole. Usually his butler bothered with those details. By the time Loona’s door handle clicked open, he was quite literally chasing his tail to try and get the snap closed over the base of it. He looked up and met her eyes for a split second before crashing into the coffee table and tumbling to the ground.
“Oh dear, oh no-” He winced, rubbing the back of his head where it had struck the arm of the couch.
A sinister growl sent a jolt of fear into Stolas but before he could react, Loona’s imposing frame covered him entirely, her claws digging into his shoulders as her eyes blazed red. She bared her fangs and snapped her teeth with a snarl.
It was in this moment that Stolas realized just how much more breakable he was in this form and just how terrifying a hellhound could be.
“You. Aren’t. Blitz.” She seethed, grabbing one of his horns to yank his head up roughly. “What did you do to him?! Where is he?! Who the FUCK are you?!”
Stolas panted under her, eyes wide with panic. “I-I don’t know what happened, I’m so sorry, Loona, I promise I will find a way to correct this-”
Loona raised a brow, but didn’t release him. “... Stolas?”
He nodded with a little whimper, too scared to move otherwise.
Loona huffed and rolled off of him with a groan. “You fucking IDIOTS, what did you do this time? Was this some kind of ‘kiss and make-up’ bullshit gone wrong?”
“Far from it,” Stolas sighed as he carefully sat himself up, leaning against the arm of the couch. “I don’t yet understand it myself, not entirely, but I can assure you we are still quite broken up.”
“Greeaaaat.” Loona shook her head and threw the discarded shirt at him. “Get dressed, I’ll take you to your mansion .”
“Well, it’s more of an estate than a mansion, really-”
“Don’t care.”