Chapter Text
Wei Ying glanced down the corridor to see if Lan Zhan was coming. Once he saw a figure approaching, he hid directly behind a wall, his hands busy with a bucket of water he'd filled.
A laugh escaped Wei Ying's mouth as he waited impatiently behind the wall. When footsteps sounded right beside him, he held the bucket tightly to his chest and sprayed Lan Zhan with water when he passed by.
Suddenly, Wei Ying burst out laughing, holding his stomach as the situation was hilarious; Lan Zhan was wet from head to toe and didn't look very happy, as usual.
"Wei Ying!" Lan Zhan exclaimed, groaning and clenching his fists.
[...]
Wei Ying, with a mischievous smile on his lips, discreetly approached Lan Zhan, who was drawing under a tree. He was holding a small frog he had found earlier and with precision, he placed it on Lan Zhan's shoulder.
Lan Zhan slowly frowned, sensing something strange. When he caught sight of the frog, he gently picked it up and placed it on the ground.
Then he turned his piercing gaze on Wei Ying.
"Wei Ying..." he said in a cold voice, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.
Wei Ying scratched his head, laughing nervously. "Ah, Lan Zhan, it was just to amuse you a little!"
Lan Zhan remained silent but the expression on his face clearly showed that he wasn't amused at all.
[…]
And another day, another joke. The mathematics class at Gusu High School was known for its calmness and rigor, especially under the guidance of Mr Han. The students listened attentively and took notes, except Wei Ying, of course.
Wei Ying was seated just behind Lan Zhan, the president of the class, who was seated in the front row. Lan Zhan's hair was neatly tied back in a low ponytail, and his back was straight, as always. Wei Ying, meanwhile, was slumped in his chair, his mischievous smile never leaving his lips.
"Always so serious, Lan Zhan…" Wei Ying murmured, leaning forward to whisper in Lan Zhan's ear.
Lan Zhan ignored Wei Ying's whispers, his eyes riveted on the board where Mr Han was writing complex equations. The youngest, refusing to be ignored, tapped Lan Zhan lightly on the shoulder with his pen.
"Lan Zhan! Did you understand what the teacher just said? I'm completely lost!" He said in a voice that was a little too loud, attracting a few glances from his classmates.
Lan Zhan clenched his jaw, visibly annoyed, but didn't turn around.
He just merely whispered, "Concentrate and listen."
Wei Ying, far from being discouraged, decided to push a little further. He tore a small piece of paper from his notebook and wrote quickly on it, before folding it into an airplane and throwing it at Lan Zhan's desk. Lan Zhan caught the paper plane in mid-air, his eyebrows furrowed in displeasure.
Before Lan Zhan could react, Mr Han turned abruptly, having finally noticed the movement.
"Wei Ying! Lan Zhan! What's going on here?" He thundered.
Wei Ying flashed an innocent smile while Lan Zhan blushed slightly in frustration.
"Nothing at all, Sir," Wei Ying replied with an air of false innocence.
Mr Han squinted, visibly skeptical.
"Wei Ying, you seem to have a very different definition of the word 'nothing'. And you, Lan Zhan, I'm surprised to see you involved in this distraction."
Lan Zhan opened his mouth to protest, but Wei Ying intervened before he could speak.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Han. It's all my fault! I was just asking Lan Zhan to help me with the math problem."
The professor sighed. "I'm tired of your constant interruptions, Wei Ying. You need to learn to respect your classmate’s learning environment!"
Wei Ying had a pout on his face: he was used to always being reprimanded, but it wasn't his fault, was it? He just wanted to have a little fun!
"Well," declared Professor Han. "Since you have so much energy to expend, you'll spend an hour in detention after class. Both of you. Maybe a little time together will help you understand the importance of concentration and mutual respect!"
Lan Zhan inhaled deeply, trying to remain calm. Wei Ying, for his part, simply shrugged with an amused smile.
"As you wish, Mr. Han," he said nonchalantly.
The rest of the class passed in tense silence. Wei Ying stopped his teasing but it was clear from his glances at Lan Zhan that he found the situation entertaining.
Lan Zhan, on the other hand, was trying to concentrate on the class, but his thoughts kept returning to the hour of detention they would have to share… He hated Wei Ying even more at this moment.
When the bell announcing the end of classes rang, Wei Ying got up enthusiastically, while Lan Zhan took his time putting his things away, hoping that detention wouldn't be as painful as he'd imagined.
"Come on, Lan Zhan, don't take all your time," Wei Ying tossed an arm around his shoulders. "We've got an hour of detention to spend together. It's going to be fun!"
Wei Ying expected to be ignored once again, but to his greatest surprise, Lan Zhan grabbed his wrist and squeezed it in his hand, the dark look in his eyes making Wei Ying shiver strangely.
"Do not touch me. Understand?" As he said this, he didn't take his eyes off the man for a few seconds, as if to warn him.
And with that, Lan Zhan abruptly let go of him and continued his walk down the long corridors of their establishment.
Wei Ying for his part frowned as he gently massaged his wrist, "Pfft, why is he so mean to me?!" He wondered before running to catch up with his classmate.
They finally made their way to the detention room, where a teacher was already waiting for them.
"Settle down," the teacher ordered without looking up from his paper. "Not a sound, and no distractions."
Wei Ying chose a seat by the window, and Lan Zhan reluctantly sat down next to him.
Silence fell over the room, disturbed only by the sound of paper and the scratching of pens. After a few minutes, Wei Ying couldn't help breaking the silence. He turned slowly to his classmate and saw him still concentrating on his homework, his eyes riveted on it. A small smile appeared at the corner of his lips as he gently approached him.
"So, Lan Zhan," he whispered. "What do you think of this little hour of detention?" He finally asked, moving his eyebrows up and down knowing full well that it was because of him that they were there.
Lan Zhan looked up from his notebook, his expression impassive.
He finally sighed in despair before answering, "It's a waste of time."
Wei Ying smiled brightly. Lan Zhan was finally talking to him! So he took advantage of the situation and moved a little closer to his classmate, excited. But the latter raised an eyebrow and didn't hesitate to push his chair a little further away from Wei Ying.
He pouted, but didn't give up yet.
"I think it's a good opportunity to get to know you better. You're always so serious! Don't you ever feel like having a little fun?" He asked in an amused tone.
Lan Zhan sighed and turned to him, "It's not a question of wanting to have fun or not. It's a matter of knowing when it's appropriate to do."
Wei Ying raised his eyebrows, puzzled.
"Oh, really? And when do you think it's appropriate to have fun, then?"
"Not during class, nor during the times when we have to work."
Wei Ying suddenly burst out laughing, drawing a reproachful look from the teacher. He jumped back in his chair and sat up properly, pretending to work, but when the teacher took his eyes off him, he turned back to his classmate.
"You really are an open book, Lan Zhan. But maybe this hour of detention will teach us something useful…"
Lan Zhan sighed again, looking away to concentrate once more on his work. Wei Ying, however, continued to stare, his mind bubbling with new ideas to pass the time but above all: to annoy Lan Zhan.
But he decided to leave him alone for the time being and concentrated on his work for once.
Needless to say, he understood nothing of the work he'd been given and the only thing he wanted was to sleep. But he forced himself to stay awake and wrote down what he knew on his paper.
After a few yawns, a few grunts of annoyance and a change of position on his uncomfortable chair, Wei Ying took his eyes off his work and glanced at the clock: he'd been working for 20 minutes and had honestly had enough.
He turned his gaze to Lan Zhan and was about to say something when he noticed that the latter had his head between his arms, which were resting on his table, and was sleeping peacefully. His homework paper lay beside him and, glancing at it, Wei Ying noticed that he had answered absolutely every question. A pout appeared on his face: he couldn't even answer a question in 20 minutes and he answered them all in that time?!
Wei Ying chuckled and desperately shook his head. Lan Zhan was truly impressive.
Thinking about this, he couldn't take his eyes off the face of his classmate who continued to sleep, his mouth slightly open. His face was turned towards Wei Ying, giving him the opportunity to admire him a little more... Wait what, admire him?! He suddenly shook his head, his cheeks flushed.
To stop his uncontrollable thoughts, Wei Ying suddenly had an idea that would surprise Lan Zhan when he will wake up.
He smirked and glanced at the teacher who was watching them, and when he noticed that he wasn't looking, he intentionally dropped his pen on the floor and bent down under Lan Zhan's chair to pick it up.
But before doing so, Wei Ying undid the laces on Lan Zhan's shoes and tied them together. Once he finished doing what he had to do, he settled back in his chair, a devilish grin on his lips. Now, Lan Zhan just had to wake up!
And to make his joke even better, the professor who was watching them checked the clock and after glancing at the two students, allowed himself to leave the room when he saw that they were behaving.
"Fuck, is he a paid actor or what?!" Wei Ying exclaimed inwardly. But he wasn't going to complain: it would save him being scolded by an adult, Lan Zhan alone was enough for him!
"Hey Lan Zhan," Wei Ying finally murmured, gently shaking his classmate's shoulder, "Wake up, a teacher called you down the hall."
Lan Zhan didn't seem to wake up, and Wei Ying almost felt bad about having to wake him from his nap, which strangely, he seemed to need.
"Lan Zhaaaaan, wake up!" He exclaimed again, this time unconsciously plunging his hand into the other man's hair.
Wei Ying stopped in his tracks as he realized. But it wasn't his action that had stopped him, it was rather his hand touching his classmate's soft hair. He didn't have time to think any further as Lan Zhan suddenly woke up, sending Wei Ying's hand away from him.
"Wei Ying, I swear–" He began, his gaze enraged.
"No listen to me !" Wei Ying quickly cut him off, shaking his hands in front of him, "I was only trying to wake you up! A teacher called you and being the good classmate I am, I just tried to wake you up!"
Lan Zhan looked at him for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and finally standing up. Wei Ying waited impatiently for the moment when he would try to take a step, and when he did, he burst out laughing as Lan Zhan fell to the ground with a loud thud.
"Oh my– Lan Zhan, are you all right ?!" He asked in an amused, innocent tone, his laughter continuing to echo around the room.
He found it so funny that he had to put a hand on his stomach and continue laughing, his breath almost coming in shortness.
"You should have seen your fall, fuck, it was so iconic!" He continued between laughs.
Lan Zhan clenched his fists tightly and when he realized that his shoelaces were in fact tied together, a wave of anger swept over him. He quickly untied them and despite the pain he felt in his right foot, he stood up, leaning against the table, and in a cold, threatening voice uttered the name of the one who wasn't making life easy for him, "Wei Wuxian!"
Needless to say that this tone immediately made Wei Ying stop laughing, and he suddenly felt chills run through his body: had he exceeded Lan Zhan's limits this time? And he soon got his answer when Lan Zhan suddenly grabbed him by the collar, fuming with anger.
"Aha Lan Zhan, don’t need to look at me like that–"
"Wei fucking Ying," Lan Zhan muttered through gritted teeth, "When are you going to understand?"
Wei Ying tried to, but once he thought about it, he still didn't understand so in the most innocent voice he could use, he replied, "Understand… what?"
"That one day, the answer to your fucking jokes will surprise you."
"W-What do you mean?"
If Wei Ying was disruptive and very unintimidating, at Lan Zhan's side he was quite the opposite. He could feel his cold, dark gaze piercing through him, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't indifferent.
"You still don't understand?" A mocking laugh escaped his lips, "And just like that, you understand?"
As he said this, he abruptly pulled Wei Ying's collar towards him, bringing their faces a little too close together. To tell the truth, Wei Ying was surprised. Very surprised. Of all the jokes he'd played on Lan Zhan, he'd never reacted so violently. Well, he wouldn’t react at all in the first place.
Being seated with Lan Zhan standing, leaning over him, Wei Ying tried his best to back away, but he'd end up falling off his chair so he didn't dare move and continued to watch his classmate who was, honestly, beginning to scare him.
"Lan Zhan... I'm sorry okay? Next time, my joke won't be so–"
"Oh, because you're already thinking of your next joke?" A laugh escaped his lips, "I know that after this, you won't dare prank me again."
Wei Ying felt a shiver run down his spine as their faces grew closer and closer... Had he gone too far this time? Was Lan Zhan going to hit him? Just as he was thinking that, he watched his classmate's hand rise and expecting a punch, Wei Ying closed his eyes tightly.
"Might as well let Lan Zhan have his way this time, I’m aware that I’ve gone too far so I’m going to let him hit me just this once." He thought.
But a few seconds later, he still felt no pain, so he slowly opened his eyes and was almost frightened to see Lan Zhan's icy gaze still fixed on him, a smirk on his lips. His heart beat wildly as he felt his proximity, their breaths mingling in the tension-laden air.
"Lan Zhan...?" he began, but didn't have time to finish his sentence.
In a flash, Lan Zhan plunged his hand behind his neck and narrowed the space between them, sealing his lips against Wei Ying's in a fierce, desperate kiss.
The shock immobilized Wei Ying, his thoughts clouded as Lan Zhan's unexpectedly soft lips explored his with all-consuming ardor. Wei Ying stirred in his chair, trying to push Lan Zhan back by the torso but his strength deserted him and he felt himself let out a gasp. Lan Zhan took the opportunity to slip his warm, soft tongue inside his classmate's mouth and explore it as he had so long dreamed of doing.
It was an intense kiss, filled with contradictory feelings. Anger, frustration, but also a hidden, almost repressed affection…
Wei Ying could never have imagined such a moment between them, especially not from Lan Zhan who had always scolded him and ignored him. But at this very moment, he couldn't deny the obvious; this gesture was far from being that of a hater.
"Mmh… L..Lan Zhan–"
Wei Ying sighed between kisses, but Lanzhan's lips coming to rest – again – on his prevented him from finishing his sentence.
The intensity of the kiss was unsettling, almost suffocating. Lan Zhan's lips were pressing, overflowing with passion, as if he was trying to express everything he'd never been able to say. Every second seemed to burn Wei Ying, his heart beating rapidly. It was a powerful kiss, charged with an emotion so strong it was disconcerting, as if Lan Zhan was trying to engrave this moment in both their memories…
"Oh…! Lan Zhan, let me breath–"
But once again, he was ignored by Lan Zhan who continued to savor his lips as if they were the best thing he'd ever tasted.
Lan Zhan ended the kiss as abruptly as he'd begun it, his eyes now clouded by an emotion he couldn't seem to control. Wei Ying, still in shock, remained silent, his lips burning, his breath coming in short gasps as he tried to understand what had just happened. Lan Zhan, on the other hand, slowly released his hold, his gaze darting as if he finally realizing what he'd just done.
"Lan Zhan..." breathed Wei Ying, still shaken by this unexpected kiss.
But Lan Zhan answered nothing, simply turning around, fists clenched, leaving Wei Ying alone with his questions and that strange sensation that still warmed his heart.
"Lan Zhan!" The boy exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed, "You can't just leave after stealing my first kiss!"
But he didn't listen and kept walking away, exiting the detention room and disappearing into the school corridors.
On Wei Ying's side, the situation was catastrophic. He felt his cheeks flush furiously as his fingers grazed his own lips, thinking back to the torrid kiss he just shared with Lan Zhan... Lan Zhan! The quiet, introverted student, the one who always ignored him, the one who never paid attention to anyone! He'd just been kissed by him!
Wei Ying couldn’t believe it.
"Well, If bothering him means getting this kind of kiss from him, I’m going to annoy him even more!" He thought to himself as a smile was on his lips, still swollen and red.
•••
The next morning, Wei Ying was sitting at his usual table in the classroom, but this time his mind wasn't on lessons or the usual pranks he liked to play. No, today, all he could think about was Lan Zhan and that intense kiss they shared. He could still feel Lan Zhan's lips on his, a memory too good to ignore. Yet for all the excitement bubbling up inside him, a part of him was frustrated, almost annoyed.
Lan Zhan hadn't even bothered to explain his gesture, and worse, he simply left him without a word! He couldn't believe it!
Wei Ying scanned the classroom, looking for Lan Zhan's familiar silhouette. He was usually one of the first to arrive, always seated at his desk, immersed in his studies. But today, his place was empty which made Wei Ying even more worried. He couldn't help wondering how Lan Zhan felt after their kiss - was he as confused as he was? Or didn't he care?
When the bell finally rang, signaling the start of class, Lan Zhan appeared, as serious as ever, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened the day before. Wei Ying immediately straightened up, ready to say a remark at him, but his heart clenched strangely at the sight of Lan Zhan paying him no attention. He simply settled into his seat, took out his things, and completely ignored Wei Ying.
Honestly, it wasn’t surprising since he always ignored Wei Ying, but this time, with what happened between them, Wei Ying hoped that he will at least explain himself. But no. Nothing.
But as always, he didn’t gave up here.
"Lan Zhan! I know you can hear me. Can you at least turn around?" He murmured, a pout on his face but Lan Zhan still remained indifferent.
This indifference made Wei Ying feel almost sad. He couldn't believe that Lan Zhan, after such a passionate kiss, would act as if nothing had happened. He knew that he'd gone too far, but this was the kind of prank he usually pulled on Lan Zhan and he'd never reacted like this before so he was pretty lost.
Determined to get his attention, Wei Ying leaned forward, a mischievous grin forming on his face.
"Lan Zhan," he whispered, loud enough for the man to hear. "It's not nice to ignore me after kissing me, you know."
Lan Zhan didn't reply, his eyes glued to his notebook. Wei Ying frowned again, unhappy by his indifference.
Unfortunately for him, being far too distracted by Lan Zhan, he didn't notice the teacher enter the classroom. He didn't notice his other classmates quickly returning to their seats; he was far too busy attracting Lan Zhan's attention that he didn't notice all these details.
And if that wasn't enough, the teacher was the same one who had put him in detention with Lan Zhan the other day.
"Lan Zhan! Don't-"
"Wei Wuxian."
Wei Ying jumped in his chair and almost fell over as he was leaning forward towards Lan Zhan. Laughter could be heard in the classroom and Wei Ying felt sweat drip down his forehead as he met his teacher's strict, unhappy gaze.
"Aha!... Mr. Han, I.. I can explain!" Wei Ying stammered, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"Explain what? You're always disrupting class! When are you going to realize that your attitude won't do you any good?" The professor replied harshly.
"Huh actually–"
"Were you bothering Lan Wangji again today?" He asked again, eyebrow raised. "You know Wei Wuxian, you can screw up your schooling if you like, but don't bother my students who, unlike you, want to work. Understand?"
Gasps of surprise could be heard in the classroom as Wei Ying sat back in his chair, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
"So now shut up and take notes on the class for once!"
Well... His teacher's words were harsh, but he deserved them so he wasn't going to say anything.
And for the rest of the hour, Wei Ying just had his head cradled in his arms, resting against his desk. He made no further attempt to disturb Lan Zhan. At least for now.
When class finally ended, Wei Ying put his things away, keeping an eye on Lan Zhan who was doing the same. The class was gradually emptying out and Lan Zhan seemed to be taking his time, as if he knew Wei Ying was waiting to approach him. And when Wei Ying noticed that his classmate had finished and was heading for the door leading to the corridors, he rushed to follow him while throwing his bag over one of his shoulders.
"Lan Zhannn!" He exclaimed, running slightly to catch up with the man. "Wait for me, you’re walking too fast!"
But the man continued to ignore him and walked. It was at exactly that moment that Wei Ying noticed something strange. Why Lan Zhan was limping? Had he hurt himself? Wei Ying knew that Lan Zhan was part of the basketball team so he thought maybe he had an accident there while training. To make sure, Wei Ying opened his mouth again, curious.
"Hey Lan Zhan, why are yo–" He was about to ask when he finally reached Lan Zhan's level, but the latter suddenly stopped and turned towards him.
Wei Ying felt his heart skip a beat as he met Lan Zhan's dark gaze. Since when had he felt like this in Lan Zhan's presence? This wasn't right! His heart was playing tricks on him at this point!
But little did he know, the next thing Lan Zhan will say to him will do something to his heart, yes, but not in the good way…
"Stop following me and go piss off someone else, Wei Ying. I don't have time for your bullshit anymore." He spat as harshly as he could before resuming his walk, leaving a completely lost Wei Ying behind.
The troublemaker stood in the middle of the corridor, stunned by the harshness of Lan Zhan's words. "I don't have time for your bullshit anymore," the words still echoed in his head, like an unbearable echo. He'd never seen Lan Zhan so angry, so cold…
"Hey Wei Ying! What the hell are you doing in the middle of the corridor?"
This voice snapped Wei Ying out of his thoughts and he turned back to the person who had just approached him. A small smile made its way to his lips when he saw Jiang Cheng, a friend who had been in his class last year. Unfortunately, they drifted apart after not being in the same class this year, but their chemistry was still there.
"Oh… Jiang Cheng!"
"It's been a long time. How are you?" He asked as he walked over to his friend.
"I'm fine... How are you? I heard you made in the basketball team!"
As they slowly began to walk together, they continued to chat, catching up on what they'd missed over the last few months.
"What were you doing in the middle of the hallway anyway? Don't you have class?" Jiang Cheng finally asked.
Thinking back of the situation he was in, a small sigh escaped from Wei Ying. Lan Zhan had always been used to ignoring him, but why did it hurt so much now? Was it because Lan Zhan had kissed him? Did the fact that he kissed him make him feel important for a while, but now being ignored hurt him?
"Waoh, what's with that face? Did you get punished again or what?" Jiang Cheng asked with a laugh, remembering last year when Wei Ying was always punished and reprimanded by the teachers because of his behavior.
"No… It’s… something else." He admitted, shrugging.
"Do you want to talk about it ?"
Wei Ying hesitated for a moment but decided to seize the opportunity and talk to his friend. He had no one else to talk to about his problems and worries anyway, so might as well tell him.
"Do you know... Lan Zhan?" He asked hesitantly.
A chuckle was heard.
"What kind of question is that? Of course I know him, the question is rather who doesn't!" He replied with a laugh, "Anyway what's up with him?"
"Well... I've been pissing him off for a few months now with my pranks and everything, he wouldn't say anything and ignore me but I didn't mind..." He confesses, pursing his lips, "But yesterday I made him a really bad prank, I tied his laces together and just waited for him to get up to see him fall, but this time, he looked really mad... Normally, I didn't care, but now he's ignoring me more than before and I don't know, I feel bad... Especially since something happened… b-between us that's frustrating me enormously..."
A silence fell between the two as Wei Ying finished his explanation. A few seconds later, Jiang Cheng stopped walking and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I don't know what happened between you two, but indeed it wasn't cool what you did to him... Especially since I'm beginning to wonder if you're the reason he's limping like that." Jiang Cheng confessed, eyebrow raised.
"What do you mean?" Wei Ying exclaimed, his eyes round.
"Well… As you know he's also on the basketball team and he hurt himself there a week ago. It was a small sprain, nothing serious, but I think that after your prank, his ankle became a little more fragile."
Wei Ying was speechless, guilt slowly eating him. Now he felt even worse than before. So it was because of him that Lan Zhan was limping like that?
"I think the best thing to do is to apologize and stop pranking him." Jiang Cheng finally said, offering him a small, comforting smile.
Apologize? Wei Ying was willing to, but Lan Zhan ignored him, so what could he do…?
•••
Evening had long since fallen, enveloping the city in a peaceful darkness. Wei Ying was alone in his room, lying on his bed. The walls of his room were filled with posters and drawings he had accumulated over the years. He was clutching an old stuffed toy, a little rabbit with weathered fur, the one he'd had since he was a child.
It was his treasure, his companion, the one who had always been there even when no one else was.
Staring at the ceiling, Wei Ying's thoughts wandered. Lan Zhan's indifference had touched him more deeply than he'd thought possible. He was used to hide his feelings behind his smile and jokes, but this mask was becoming heavier and heavier to wear. And now that he was alone, in the darkness of his room, he could no longer escape these emotions…
He thought that at least Lan Zhan would continue to put up with his jokes, and even if he ignored him a little, Lan Zhan's slightest attention made him happy. That's why he kept bothering him. But now, after that kiss that had made him feel important for a moment, Wei Ying was lost. Lan Zhan had done it for fun? He didn't care? Of course he didn't care, he just ignored him even more than before!
Wei Ying tightened his embrace around his stuffed toy, seeking comfort in the softness of the fabric against his cheek. Yet, instead of calming his mind, this simple gesture brought back memories he'd rather forget…
To tell the truth, ever since he was a child, Wei Ying had felt like a shadow in his own home. His parents were always busy, absorbed in their respective careers, and he had grown up in an icy silence where words of affection were rare, almost non-existent. He remembered all those days spent playing alone, desperately waiting for someone to pay attention to him. But the attention never came.
He'd tried to get noticed, to be the best at school, to bring home drawings to decorate the house, to help out as much as he could, but nothing ever seemed to be enough. His achievements went unnoticed, his efforts ignored, and little by little, he had learned to live with what he had. Solitude had become a faithful companion even if it weighed heavily on his heart.
And school hadn't been a refuge either. The other kids made fun of him, finding him too strange, too different. Wei Ying tried to make friends, but his way of seeing the world, his boundless energy, all seemed to bother the others. They kept him at a distance, leaving him alone, again and again.
That's why he bothered Lan Zhan. At first, when he'd first seen him, Wei Ying thought he was just like him: lonely and friendless. But as time went by, he realized that no, Lan Zhan was different from him. But that wasn't what had stopped him and he started pranking him just to get his attention, to have a friend...
Because yes, Lan Zhan interested him, so much that he couldn't stop with his jokes because they were the only time Lan Zhan paid him attention. And even if the only thing he did was get angry, for Wei Ying that was enough. More than enough.
Those memories came back to haunt him that evening, and without him being able to help it, the tears began to roll down his cheeks. At first silent then stronger, like a torrent he could no longer hold back. He buried his face against his stuffed toy, his body shaken by uncontrollable sobs.
"Why..." Wei Ying murmured between sobs, "Why do I always feel so alone..."
There was no one to hear him, no one to tell him everything would be all right.
Wei Ying cried for a long time, releasing everything he buried deep inside. He cried for the little boy who never had the chance to feel loved, for the teenager he'd become.
And at that moment, he wished he had someone by his side to hug him and tell him he loved him.
The sobbing finally stopped after a while. Wei Ying lay there, his eyes red and his face wet, still clinging to his stuffed toy. He honestly felt exhausted and pathetic.
And as he drifted off to sleep, a thought crossed his mind: he hoped that one day he will find someone who would have time for him. Someone who would love him for who he was.
But for now, that dream remained impossible.
•••
Wei Ying awoke the next morning with an heaviness in his chest. It had been a long night and his cheeks were still wet with tears. He dragged himself out of bed, glanced at his reflection in the mirror and sighed. His eyes were red and puffy and the dark circles under his eyelids showed of much of a shitty night he had. But unfortunately, he had no choice: he had to go to class.
As he walked to school, his thoughts turned to Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan. Just thinking about him made his heart beat faster in his chest. He knew he messed up this time. That joke had been too much.
And then, that kiss. He still couldn't understand why Lan Zhan had kissed him only to ignore him so coldly the next day. Nothing made sense.
Wei Ying had spent a good part of the night trying to understand it all, turning in his bed, hugging his old stuffed toy to give himself some comfort. And he, finally, had come up with some plans to fix the situation.
Step 1 : sincerely apologize to Lan Zhan.
That was the least he could do, wasn't it?
Step 2 : stop teasing and bothering him.
He now understood that his jokes could be hurtful.
And step 3 : he needed to get his schooling back on track.
Maybe if he showed Lan Zhan that he was serious, he could at least get a little attention from him...
Wei Ying knew that all this wouldn't be settled in a day, but he was ready to try. He couldn't stand the cold between them, especially after that kiss that had left him all confused and lost.
Every time he thought about it, he felt a shiver run down his spine. Why had Lan Zhan done it? Was it out of anger, frustration, or was there something more?
As Wei Ying waited impatiently for Lan Zhan to arrive, he patted his face to wake himself up a little - because of the bad night he had - and forced himself to smile as best he could so that no one would notice his true emotions.
He was leaning against a wall in the corridors of his high school and he knew Lan Zhan was going to pass by; this corridor only led to one classroom and it was the one where they were supposed to have class.
And at the same moment, the man who had been occupying his thoughts arrived, limping slightly. The sight made Wei Ying bite his lip and feel bad since he knew it was his fault...
But he didn't let himself be discouraged and forcing a smile on his face, he approached Lan Zhan, who simply rolled his eyes at the sight of him coming so excitedly.
"Lan Zhan! Can we talk?" Wei Ying asked, stepping into Lan Zhan's path to stop him.
"We have nothing to discuss," Lan Zhan replied, arms crossed over his chest.
"You're right... But I still wanted to apologize for what happened last time. I mean it, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying murmured as he nervously pinched his lower lip.
Lan Zhan’s gaze flickered down to Wei Ying’s lips. It was just for a second but enough to make his heart skip a beat. As he continued to observe Wei Ying’s face, he noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes. The redness and puffiness around Wei Ying's eyes didn’t escape his notice either, and it made him frown with concern.
"I know it really wasn't cool and I realized it, so I hope you can accept my apology." Wei Ying offered him a small smile before suddenly raising his hand next to his head and saying, "I promise you that I, Wei Ying, won't bother you anymore!" He exclaimed, a small laugh escaping his lips.
Lan Zhan watched him do it, his face frowning more and more. Had Wei Ying been hit by a car or what? Was this the same Wei Ying he'd known?
"Wei Ying-"
"No need to say anything Lan Zhan, don't worry. Just know that I'm really sorry and that you won't be hearing from me again!" Wei Ying replied once more.
Lan Zhan sighed. Should he believe him ? Wei Ying had always given him pranks, what if he was currently giving him one?
A laugh was heard and as if Wei Ying had read Lan Zhan's mind, he shook his head gently.
"No Lan Zhan don't worry, it's not a joke this time. I really intend to leave you alone now, like you've always wanted, right?" He asked, the answer obvious in his head, "So... I'm off. I've really enjoyed myself by your side, Lan Zhan."
And while saying this, his face was decorated with a smile as illuminating as the sun before he turned around and entered the classroom, leaving a speechless Lan Zhan behind.