Chapter Text
The rule was simple: Make 500 baskets, or you don’t get dinner.
And that was the way it had always been, and that was what Tyler was accustomed to, ever since he was a freshmen in high school.
His parents didn’t have a lot of money, since Tyler had 3 younger siblings- the only way Tyler could get a scholarship to attend college was basketball, through sports, and it was decided: Tyler was going to be a basketball star. No one asked him what he wanted to do, it was basketball always, ever since he was a kid.
Maybe everyone knew that Tyler was going to be skinny and lanky and decided that basketball was a better alternative than football or any other sport, who knows. All Tyler has known since he was little has been basketball.
“It’s for your own good” His mother would say, as she set up 5 dinner plates instead of 6- She would motion towards the back door, where the basketball hoop was, and if Tyler didn’t go, he was sent to bed. And it seemed fair, you know? His parents were hard-working people, and Tyler was ungrateful if he was just going to sit at home and do nothing, after basketball practice at school, and just not practice for his future profession- Didn’t he want this? Wasn’t this what he was born to do? Was he supposed to just expect food if he didn’t do what his parents expected of him?
And so, it would continue- Tyler would make his 500 baskets, counting off loud enough for his parents to hear from inside (or sometimes, his father would come outside and watch him and critique him) and he would come inside and he would eat, and then repeat- Wake up, go to school, go to basketball practice, do some homework, make 500 baskets, do more homework, sleep, repeat.
And Tyler never really thought much of it, honestly. It was a schedule, and the very few times he didn’t make the 500 baskets, or he messed them up a lot, he cried himself to sleep and prayed to God and asked for his parents to forgive him for being such a disappointment, and he prayed to be a better brother and a better son and be a better example to others.
Tonight was one of those nights.
Tyler shared a room with his little brother Zach, so he couldn’t sob in front of him, that wasn’t “manly”, and he felt so bad, so guilty for crying about this, because he shouldn’t be crying about it, he did it to himself. But he was showering, scrubbing his body raw, the sound of the water hitting the shower floor masking his gasping sobs. The water was burning hot, scorching his skin, but it masked how hungry he was, so it didn’t matter.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” He cried, eventually falling down to the shower floor, letting the water rain down on him until his mom knocked on the bathroom door, yelling for him to hurry up.
At the sound of her voice, Tyler quickly turned the water off, stepping out of the shower. His vision was blurry because of the tears, and when he looked in the mirror, he was greeted with reddened eyes. And although they were his eyes, they were only red because he had been crying for so long, “like a girl”, they looked scary and foreign to Tyler. “You’re such a failure. You didn’t deserve that dinner” His reflection in the mirror, blurry with red eyes, said to him, and well. Tyler couldn’t disagree.
He turned his back to the mirror, wanting to ignore that blurred face, and he changed facing the wall, moving quickly so his mother wouldn’t yell at him again, and he rushed out, throwing his dirty clothes into the hamper, rushing to his room so that he could avoid his parents- he didn’t want to look at the disappointment in their eyes when they looked at him.
His brother was on his phone when Tyler rushed back into his bedroom- he had his headphones on and hardly noticed Tyler was even back, which worked in Tyler’s benefit because he couldn’t stifle some of the soft, pained noises he made as he tried to calm down. The voice from the mirror, deep but static-like in his mind, kept repeating horrible, horrible things, and Tyler was much too tired to even look at his homework, nevertheless complete it, so he just climbed into his bed, turning off the lamp by his bed. He wasn’t sure how long it was, maybe it could have been hours, but steady and hot tears were the only things that lulled him to sleep, the ache in stomach gnawing at him.
“Guys, I’m gay. I’m so fucking gay. Like, I know that you guys know this, but… I just had to remind everyone. About how gay I am. Like on a scale of 0 to 100, I’m like… 101” Pete declares, as his boyfriend Patrick and his friends Hayley and “new kid” Josh blink at him. They’re standing at Josh’s locker, their last stop before they go to their 1st period class.
“Yeah, Pete, you already told us this in the group chat after Josh woke everyone up at 4:20 just to remind us that it was 4:20” Hayley rolls her eyes, as Josh laughs “I’m sorry! It’s my thing” “You don’t even smoke weed, Josh?!”
“I keep telling you guys, we should definitely get some and listen to Pink Floyd. Anyways, who has the math homework?” Pete asks, turning to Patrick. And usually Patrick does the homework because he’s Patrick and that’s what Patrick does, but Patrick shakes his head “I was marathoning MJ music videos, sorry” But Josh reaches into his bag and hands Pete a crumpled piece of paper “I got you. Just try to make it look like Pete work?”
Pete narrows his eyes at Josh, flipping him off “Insulting!” But when Pete glances over the work, he sighs dejectedly “Can you explain this to me?” Hayley grabs the paper from his hands, and runs her fingers through her fire-engine hair “Here, let me do it. You just gotta do the quadratic equation, remember the song? X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of…” She sings the quadratic equation song to Pete, and Pete only blinks at her “What the fuck just happened?”
“Dude, let me explain it, in ‘Pete’ words” Josh takes the paper from Hayley’s hands, and Pete grins “Thanks! You’re the love of my gay life”
Going back to the “new kid” thing- Josh isn’t exactly as “new” as “new” usually is. Josh actually used to live in this town before. He even attended church with the Tyler Joseph, the captain of the basketball team. But, his dad found a new, more promising job, and so his family moved. And now, almost 9 years later, at age 17, he moved back to the same, old town where he (sort of) grew up. And nothing had really changed, in Josh’s opinion- the church was still old, the people (besides his group of friends) were still ignorant, and for some reason, sports were still really important. Which didn’t really make sense to Josh, but he went along with it anyways.
He had blue hair, and piercings, and generally shocked everyone in his town, which was, you guessed it, weird, because where he moved from, dyed hair wasn’t weird, and piercings on guys was considered cool, not some sort of taboo. But again, the key was to surround yourself with good people, and that’s what Josh did- sure, he’d get bullied occasionally, but it just didn’t really faze him all that much.
“Josh may be the love of your gay life, but you aren’t the love of his gay life” Patrick rolls his eyes, before saying in a sing-songy voice “Because Tyler Joseph is the love of his gay life” Hayley and Pete laugh loud, “Get rekt, my guy!” “Shut up, Patrick! I don’t love him” Josh crosses his arms, as Patrick shrugs “Whatever you say, lover boy”
And okay, maybe Tyler Joseph interests Josh, but Josh is in no way in love with him. It was just… kind of fucked up. Tyler Joseph was loved by practically everyone, his parents were active in the church (the church that Josh didn’t even attend anymore), no one ever bullied him, he was the captain of the basketball team, people liked him, and Tyler kind of had it all. He was like… like the Troy Bolton of the school, you know? And it wasn’t like him and Tyler were friends when they were younger, but everyone at the church had generally liked Tyler more, because Tyler memorized psalms and could play the piano, and Josh was always just a little envious of that. But nevertheless, Josh didn’t even think much of Tyler, unless he was sulking about having a dumb life, because it just wasn’t fair.
And anyways- Tyler was the straightest guy in the world. And Josh, maybe with the exception of Pete Wentz, was the gayest guy in the world.
“Ty, are you okay?” Jenna’s eyes widened as Tyler scarfed down the slice of pizza that Jenna offered to him, along with his own. And this wasn’t even good pizza, this was cafeteria pizza.
“Yeah. I was just really hungry” Tyler shrugs, before chugging down some milk (and milk and pizza was the worst combination, ever). Jenna gives him another glance, before shrugging herself, picking at her salad.
And that was the truth- Tyler was extremely hungry. In the morning, he could hardly look his parents in the eye, nevertheless ask for another serving of breakfast. His mother dropped some toast and eggs in his plate, and he said grace for his family, and they ate, acting as if nothing happened last night, and that was that. He got dressed, put a rubber band over his wrist so that he could snap at his skin if he almost fell asleep during class due to exhaustion, and walked to school, blaring ‘Levi The Poet’ so that the voice in his head, ‘Blurryface’, wouldn’t torture him and tell him to walk onto the traffic
He couldn’t die- he’d go to hell if he committed suicide, anyways.
He was sitting at lunch with his best friend Jenna, and the rest of the basketball team. Not that they really paid Tyler much attention, because they all knew that Tyler was kind of quiet, and plus Tyler didn’t want to talk about “destroying the pussy game” and well. What’s the point of talking to someone if they don’t want to talk about destroying the pussy game? Anyways, Tyler was sitting with Jenna, doing the homework he didn’t do, as Jenna (who was a cheerleader and the head choir girl at the church) talked about her favorite show, Supernatural, and ranted about her other cheerleader friends.
And no, he and Jenna were not dating. It was kind of weird, because Tyler had never seen Jenna as anything but his best friend- sure, she was beautiful, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and she was smart and a fucking cheerleader and she was an active member of the church but… Tyler just saw her as a friend. His parents would often ask him if he had “made a move” yet, and his basketball friends would bug him and ask if he ‘destroyed that pussy’, and even the church members would ask if the two of them were dating yet, but Jenna would just blush and shake her head, and Tyler would grit his teeth, and say “No” as politely as he could.
Relationships in general make Tyler feel weird inside, though. Tyler never really has had a crush on a girl before, because girls, at least right now, don’t necessary spike his interest. But that doesn’t mean that Tyler’s gay because… well, being gay is a sin and Tyler goes to church every week and just… no. Tyler didn’t hate gay people, probably, he just… didn’t want to see gay people in public, because that was just wrong. He guesses- that’s what his parents say, and he listens to his parents, like he’s supposed to. Tyler’s 100% straight. On a scale of 0 to 100, he’s like… 101.
"Do you think you guys are gonna win that championship thing?" Jenna asks, as Tyler gives her another shrug. The championship. Their basketball team might actually win the state championship, if they win the next couple of games. And Tyler should be excited about that, but he's so tired, he couldn't really care about that right now. He just wants to sleep, if he's being honest.
"Maybe, who knows. The other teams are really good, though" He sulks, before singing the quadratic song in his head, scribbling down the formula. "The other teams don't have Tyler Joseph" Jenna adds, as Tyler scoffs "I'm not that good, Jenna. But thanks" He gives her a grimace disguised as a smile, and she kicks his leg with her foot "Tyler, stop that! You're plenty good. I'll pray for you" She says, unironically, and 'Blurryface', at the back of his mind, screams "Not even Jesus could help you, you fucking freak"
Tyler snaps his wrist with the rubber band, and the voice goes away in an instant.
"Thanks, Jenna. I appreciate that"