Chapter Text
Patricia laid on her bed, holding her phone above her. She once again found herself staring into the dim glow of her phone as she had many times before. And, much like those previous times, she had the same discord chat open, scrolling through old messages.
It was pretty much routine at this point. Lay down. Open phone. Look through her chat with Marie for a couple hours in the vain hope she'd find something, anything new. Thus, she scrolled back to the messages from the month of May, and, as customary in this routine, began reading.
MaidofDesire 05/12/2024 1:25 PM
I know you're still not awake yet, and I know when you do wake up they likely won't give you your phone back for some time, but I felt like I should text you anyways since it's unlikely I'll be able to visit you in the hospital anytime soon.MaidofDesire 05/12/2024 1:27 PM
I wanted to let you know that I spoke with our caseworker today. They gave me a new placement. I tried to get them to place you with me, but they don't know when you'll be out of the hospital.MaidofDesire 05/12/2024 1:28 PM
I'm nervous, Patricia. I wish you were here.MaidofDesire 05/12/2024 1:28 PM
I probably won't be able to visit you again for some time. I hope you wake up soon. I miss you
May was four months ago.
Those were the last messages Marie ever sent to her.
The moment Patricia got her phone back, the very first thing she did was respond to her.
Peacock 7/3/2024 3:42 PM
heyPeacock 7/3/2024 3:42 PM
I just got my phone backPeacock 7/3/2024 3:44 PM
i woke up last week. getting released 2day. somehow healed pretty well, all things considered anyway. still had most of my bones in my legs broken lol.Peacock 7/3/2024 3:45 PM
i also got a new place. met him today. seems nice for a 🐷. was kinda hoping i woulda been placed with u but whatever. I hope they r nicePeacock 7/3/2024 3:59 PM
srry if ur busy.Peacock 7/3/2024 8:56 PM
lot busier than i thought. too busy studying? well, get back to me soon.Peacock 7/4/2024 10:27 AM
r u okay marie?????Peacock 7/4/2024 10:56 AM
ur not mad, r u?Peacock 7/4/2024 1:32 PM
umm.. i just got released. pls respond, k?Peacock 7/4/2024 1:40 PM
im worried about uPeacock 7/4/2024 5:42 PM
i hope ur okPeacock 7/4/2024 11:22 PM
gn. pls be okay. pls tell me that u r ok.Peacock 7/5/2024 9:23 AM
gm. im worried marie. idk if u h8 me now, but pls at least lmk that ur okay.Peacock 7/5/2024 9:42 AM
idk what i did
What follows are even more texts, at least 100 of them, becoming less frantic, and more mundane as time goes on, mostly with Patricia sharing her art and telling Marie about her day, with no response, her messages usually ending with some variation of a “pls talk to me” or “i hope that ur okay.”
If Marie truly was mad, at least she hadn't blocked her.
Why would she be mad though? It wasn't as if Patricia could find a reason why her best friend was mad at her, or even a reason that might be the case.
Her scrolling was only interrupted by a light knock on her bedroom door.
“It's unlocked!” She shouted.
The door opened to her foster father, Benjamin Birdland (though Patricia just called him Ben, he seemed cool with that, for whatever reason. He wasn’t very uptight… which was strange, especially since he was a member of law enforcement, a group Patricia justifiably didn't like very much,). He opened the door a bit and leaned into the room a bit.
“Hey Patty,” he was still in his uniform, meaning he likely just got home, “I noticed the light was on in here so I'm pokin’ my head in to remind you that school starts tomorrow.”
“Yeah, yeah” Patricia let out a heavy sigh, “I know…” Summer vacation was over already, and, like every time she moved back in elementary school, this meant yet another school to start at and not knowing anyone. Not that she really minded, she didn't really have many friends at her old school anyways barring Marie. Besides, it's high school, basically everyone was starting at a new school anyways, so it probably wouldn't be too bad.
“Marie again?” Ben asked, seeing Patricia holding the phone she had been looking at a moment earlier. Patricia responded with a curt nod as she sat up.
Ben took a few steps into her room and sat on the edge of her bed. “Look kiddo…” Ben began, “I've been trying to get into contact with your caseworker, but I've been told that she legally can't tell me where she is-”
“Of course that bitch gave him the ‘ol runaround.” Patricia thought to herself. She never really liked her, just another shitty adult here to flex her authority over her. No different that the piece of shit who-
“-but she says she has been working on arranging a chance for you to visit soon.”
“She's probably full‘a shit then.” Patricia responded, putting her phone on her nightstand.
Ben sighed and shook his head, Patricia figured he'd chastise her for her language, but he didn't. “I'm sorry… I wish there was more I could do…”
“It's fine.” a dejected Patricia muttered. “Whatever.”
Ben looked like he was going to say something when he let out a heavy sigh. He stood up from the end of the bed and began heading towards the door. “Try not to stay up too late, okay?”
Patricia didn’t respond as Ben exited the room, the door closing lightly behind her foster father. She picked up her recently put down cell phone, unlocking it to gaze once again on her discord messages. She might as well send another one before she goes to bed. There wasn't any harm in that. Maybe she’ll finally respond?
Peacock 9/1/24 9:49 PM
hey. school is starting tmrw.Peacock 9/1/24 9:49 PM
starting at a new school apparentlyPeacock 9/1/24 9:50 PM
i always thought we’d be at the same school until we graduatedPeacock 9/1/24 9:50 PM
it sucks. i wont know anyonePeacock 9/1/24
not like it matters anywaysPeacock 9/1/24 9:50 PM
id try to get out of going but i doubt i could cook up a decent excusePeacock 9/1/24 9:50 PM
i hope ur okPeacock 9/1/24 9:51 PM
gn
Patricia stared at her phone for a second, hoping to see if Marie would begin typing.
...
...
...
She did not. Oh well. It's not like she would respond anyways. With a sigh, she put her phone back down, plugging it into the charger before carefully folding her glasses and placing them on her nightstand.
Sleep did not come quickly, her thoughts still drifting towards Marie.
It was about 11:30 at night. Patricia was resting her head on the couch’s armrest as Marie had her hand in the popcorn bowl between them. They had been staying up late watching some movie that Marie liked, not that Patricia remembered the title or the plot of it, except it was one of those extremely cheesy slasher films Marie had stumbled upon playing on some random cable channel late that night while browsing through the TV guide earlier, and since it wasn't a school night, they both had asked for Hilgard’s permission to stay up late, which was granted.
“Ya know, somea these effects are prettty bad.” Patricia muttered after watching some guy's head literally explode.
“These effects are practical.” Marie said, “They didn't have as much to work with back then, so they had to make do with what was available. If I recall correctly, this movie won an award for it's effects when it was released.”
“Rrrriiiggghhhtttt…” Patricia said, “I'll take your word for it then.”
“You don't believe-”
Their conversation was interrupted by a sudden and loud crash that came from the direction of the back door, though, at first, Patricia assumed it was a part of the movie.
“Huh, I wonder what-”
Patricia couldn't get that thought out, as it was immediately interrupted by her guardian, coming from the kitchen.
“Hey! Who are you get ou-”
The sound of a gunshot interrupted that thought. Then another.
Patricia seemed to black out for a moment, her fight or flight response activating and drowning the rest of the world out. She barely even registered that Marie was clinging on to her tightly, as she began to sprint to the door.
She didn't quite get there.
“Hold it girlies” A voice said, accompanied by the sound of a gun cocking. A wave of fear washed down her spine. “Turn around. Both of you. Nice and easy.”
Trying her best to remain calm, Patricia slowly turned around, keeping an eye towards the door for escape. She got a good look at the man… a look that would haunt her for a very long time.
“O-o-okay.” Marie was shaking badly as she turned. “Pl-please don't hurt us.”
The man chuckled and took a few steps towards the pairs his eyes locked on Marie. He put his gun in pocket and kneeled down in front of her. He rubbed her head, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Patricia wanted to vomit.
“I won't hurt you… much. Just be a good girl and do what I say.” The man rubbed his hand along Marie's cheek. “If you don’t, then things will end badly for you, understand.”
Marie gave a little nod as tears tell from her eyes. Fuck this. Patricia wasn't going to let that happen.
“And you-” the man was about to turn his attention to Patricia, only to get punched in the face by the small girl.
“DONTCHA FUCKIN’ TOUCH ‘ER!!” Patricia shrieked.
Her punch evidently didn't do that much damage. The man stared at her for a second, then started to laugh. Laugh? Why was he laughing?
“Oh what's this? We have a feisty one.”
Grabbing her by the collar of her shirt, the man slammed her into the wall, the impact being so hard it caused a nearby painting to dislodge and fall to the floor.
“I’m going to have fun breaking you…” the man said, a strange tinge of glee in his voice.
Patricia was working on pure adrenaline at this point, her body seemingly acting on its own. “Run!” Is what Patricia shouted, moments before she sank her teeth into the man's arm, causing him to loosen his grip around her, giving her just enough leverage to slip out of his grip and fall on the floor. She scrambled between his legs in an attempt to flee
“You…little…shit.” Blood dripped down the arm from where Patricia’s mouth had just been. It seems that he was bitten good.
With his attention firmly focused on Patricia, and a moment of hesitation, Marie bolted out the front door, leaving Patricia alone with her assailant.
Wasting no time, Patricia attempted to scramble up to run, but she was stopped a moment later by her assailant’s leg, causing her to trip straight into the coffee table. A sharp pain was felt in her torso as she rolled onto her back, something definitely broke.
And there she was, on the ground and looking up at the intruder, is ugly face smiling… smiling… as he looked down at her.
“Looks like you're going to need to be punished…”
He lifted his boot, and proceeded to bring it down on her limbs, again, and again, and again, and agai-
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”
Patricia let out a scream as her eyes shot open. In a panic, she glanced around her bedroom, in a desperate attempt to find Marie, her heart beating out of her chest, her breathing fast and heavy. It took a moment to register that she wasn't in any danger, and she was safe. She slowly came to realize where she was, that Marie wasn't here, and what had transpired since that faithful day. Her breathing slowed as she calmed down.
This wasn't the first time she's had that nightmare, and it wouldn't be her last either.
Her arms and legs began to hurt again, as they tend to do, it is unlikely that the physical trauma from that would ever heal fully, but at the very least, she could be having a worse time with physical rehab. While she tried not use them too much, she did have a prescription for oxycodone, which, when she did take it, helped a lot, but… Patricia knew all too well about the consequences of overuse.
“Fuck it.”
Reaching over to her nightstand after a bit of mental debate, she picked the bottle of painkillers and twisted the cap off, incidentally catching a glimpse of her alarm clock in the process, 4:07AM.
Dumping out two pills into her hand, she popped them into her mouth before washing them down with a room temperature glass of water sitting for the past 8 hours. It didn't feel great having to rely on pain medication just to function on a basic level. If she didn't have to go to school in a few hours, she'd likely have been able to just tough the pain out. All she would have to do was just lay in bed all day, something that she had done several times before, and probably watch some Annie, and limit her movement. The pain would eventually subside a few hours later, when her body decided it was time to stop hurting. The one harsh reality of the school year starting is that she couldn't avoid having to take painkillers by simply waiting out her pain anymore, she actually had to go places and do things. And that terrified her… she didn't want to become dependent on these things. The last thing she needed was another addiction.
Trying to purge the thought from her mind, she laid back down on her pillow and shut her eyes, hoping to get some sleep before her alarm went off. Unfortunately, her body had other plans.
The thought of a secondary chemical dependency could wait, for now, she had to satisfy her primary craving.
Nicotine.
She sat up again, her painkillers just staring to kick in, and turned to the edge of her bed, grabbing the purple cane, something she has had to get used to ambulating with lately, the graveness of her injuries leaving her gait unsteady.
Slipping her feet into her slippers, she stood up. Truth be told, it was a miracle she could even walk again. Apparently, doctors had even discussed the possibility of amputation…
Not bothering with putting on her glasses, Patricia grabbed her cigarettes and her lighter with her free hand and made her way towards the back porch, careful not to wake her foster parents or her foster siblings up. Ben and Irene didn't like that Patricia smoked, but it wasn't like they could stop her from doing so.
As shocking as a soon to be 9th grader with a habit is.
In truth, Patricia understood the consequences of addiction way too well. It seemed to run in the Watson family. Her father, who she never met, is currently on year 12 of a 30 year sentence for drug trafficking, and her mother died of a heroin overdose when she was 7, which is how she ended up in the system.
Patricia picked up her first smoke when she was 9, in the home she was in before she was sent to Hilgard's. One of her foster siblings, a boy in his kid teens, offered her a cigarette to try, which she took him up on. It tasted bad at first, a lot worse than she imagined, but then she felt mellow, calm, and relaxrd. Then she felt like she looked cool and more adult doing it. She asked him for another one the next day, then for another one the day after that, and before you knew it, Patricia had an unhealthy coping mechanism, one that had increased in tandem with the amount of shit she had to cope with.
Though, she didn't smoke as much as she did now at Hilgard's, and Marie was always one to try to hold her accountable and attempt to get her to stop. Maybe it was being validated in her gender and feeling safe for once (she couldn't believe she let her guard down) that relieved some of it. While the task of acquiring would prove challenging at times, she always found a way to slip out and try to recruit an adult to buy her some. The things people would do for $5 would never cease to amaze her.
Opening the screen door, Patricia took a few tentative steps out the back door. Carefully sitting down on the back step and setting her cane against the steps next to her. She pulled a cigarette from the pack and lit it with her lighter, bringing it up to her lips and taking a drag. The first rays of the morning sun peeked over the horizon, crickets chirping, the sound of an engine in the distance came out of focus as that sweet, sweet nicotine hit her lungs.
It was so peaceful, so beautiful.
She couldn't help but wonder what Marie felt right now.