Chapter Text
I have always felt wrong, in one way or other. Which now I think started when I was really young. Those days when I was little were always a blur but I do remember one specific part of it.
Hey, mother?- little Alice
Yess, sweet heart! <3- Amaryllis
Can I keep my hair short?- little Alice
Why course!<3 May I ask why?<3- Amaryllis
I don't know why. I just will like it short like my class mates!- little Alice
And it getting way to long right so can- little Alice
Fine, fine let me get my scissors sweetie! <3 Hop on that chair won't you dear!<3-Amaryllis
OKAY!- little Alice
With that little Alice jumps on the chair. As Amaryllis is trying to find her good scissor.
POV LITTLE ALICE:
Mother actually said she would do it. I wonder if she say yes for me to change my clothes, they are way to girly for me anyway. But why is mother going to cut my hair and not make someone else do it. Maybe she wants to get close to me! end of pov
Amaryllis finally found her good scissor. They had dark blue flowers lining them and were silver and sharp. One of the best scissor she has and now they will be cutting her 'daughter' hair.
She came to were Alice was sitting. And pointed the chair to a mirror.
So how short you wanted sweetie?<3- Amaryllis
This much please mother!- little Alice
Alice point at two inches off of hair. That if those inches were off would make Alice not have any back hair to accessorize and more importantly if cut wrong would make Alice look like an egg.
Sweet! Are you sure you want this?<3- Amaryllis
Then Amaryllis then looked at Alice little eyes. Seeing the hope and happiness trun into sadness and embarrassment.
Okay here goes nothing!- Amaryllis
Alice eyes glowed once again then closed 'her' eyes as 'her' mother started to cut.
Amaryllis cut as slowly as she could trying her best not to rush it and ruin her 'daughter' hair. But even with her careful hand it still came out looking a bit wrong.
ALICE SWEETIE A AM SO SORRY!- Amaryllis
But Alice didn't care much about it because when she looked in the mirror she looked like a boy. She didn't know looking like a boy would feel so good but at the same time so wrong. Why was she feeling these things, these aren't the emotions of a well proper girl. These things are wrong you aren't suppose to want to be something different because that's bad, but if it bad then why...
Asmodeus started to cry he didn't get the emotions he was feel but knew one thing he felt like a boy. And that it was bad.
Oh no, sweetie it okay I can cast a spell that will make it look like you had longer hair! I knew I wouldn't have done it stupid stupid!- Amaryllis
Mom...- little Asmodeus
Amaryllis is now looking more guilty. Alice never called her mom.
Yes?- Amaryllis
If..I didn't want to be a girl ...would that be bad?!- little Asmodeus
Amaryllis was now looking confused. She thought her daughter was crying because of her hair and now she just hears this.?
Sweetie can you explain a bit further I'm a bit confused?!<3- Amaryllis
Ummm..I feel like a boy.. and it feels good but isn't bad for me to feel that.. even if it feels good..- little Asmodeus
Oh sweetie!- Amaryllis
Amaryllis looks at Asmodeus with sad but caring eyes think she was a fool for not noticing.
And I have been feeling like this for a while... and what if I can't stop it.. you always said that I was pretty and cute as a girl and me not feeling like one ...will I get in trouble for being like this.. am I a monster for being like this..am I being bad...I can't stop it..I tried so hard not to show you ,so hard not to tell you hoping it would leave...how....how do I stop it mo- little Asmodeus
Amaryllis tackles Asmodeus emotionally into a hug. Making him feel safe and warm.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO STOP ANYTHING, AND YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER SWEETIE I PROMISE!- Amaryllis
I AM SO SORRY I MADE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAD TO HIDE IT FROM ME I...am....so sorry...- Amaryllis
Amaryllis screams these words at the top of her lungs making sure all of the demon world heard her. She also made sure not to scream directly in to Asmodeus's ears. They both hugged and cried with each other for some long minutes until they both calm down.
Amaryllis was the first to calm down and ask the first question.
So, what do you feel like?- Amaryllis
Like crying..?- little Asmodeus
No, sorry I mean do you feel like a boy or something else!<3- Amaryllis
Um, a boy I think?... Yeah a boy! - little Asmodeus
Alright sweetie!<3Cute boy clothes it is!<3- Amaryllis
What- little Asmodeus
I can't wait to buy you so many cute boy clothes, your going to look so cute!<3 - Amaryllis
Mother!!!- little Asmodeus
My mother bought me a entirely new wardrobe that year. That is a memory that will never fade in my mind. It was the first time I truly felt like me you know. But then...came my powers