Chapter Text
The Watcher likes puzzles. He can always find one or two maybe more on each branch. If he wants harder puzzles, he looks to the branches generally. Captain Carter was a puzzle. So was Thanos. Doctor strange. Wanda Maximoff. The one he's working on now is the hardest one of all because the people in it should never have met and yet...
The very first time I remember you, you are blonde and don't love me back.
There is a world where the heroes are cowboys and villains classic outlaws. Here, a man named Donovan chase's Loki from one end of the West to the other. It's a one-sided love. The lawless never learns to love the lawful. They just chase each other around and around and around, two snakes eating their tails.
The next time you are brunette, and you do.
That's why the second piece is confusing. Donovan is an assistant to Van Helsing who is obsessed with Dracula. When Dracula gets ahold of Asgard's prince, a new hunt begins. One that drains Donovan of life but as Loki drinks his blood, and Donovan allows him, a new curse blooms. Not long after that Donovan becomes a vampire, too.
After a while I give up trying to guess if the colour of your hair means anything.
At first the curse is not a curse. As a raised Jotun, Loki leads Jotunhiem to new heights. He meets Daggry due to this. Daggry is like most of its variants with two kids and no one to help. A Jotun version is a welcome surprise. Their love story is almost typical in nature. But the Watcher knows there's nothing typical about it.
because even if you don't exist, I am always in love with you.
This is when he notices a pattern. There is no Don in this world. His parents never met. That does not mean dreams cease. Loki draws Don. On parchment, windows, his cell wall, on bed sheets and weapons. Bad day are good. The images take Loki through his childhood, finding out the truth, Thanos, the Grandmaster and death. No happy ending. Just drawings left to the wind.
I remember most fondly those lifetimes where we get to grow up together,
So the Watcher goes to the roots and finds a few. It's not often you find a mortal Loki in a small town at five years old playing with a little blonde boy. They grow up together, rich and poor, virtue and vice. Field trips, prom, graduation, college. It's a typical happy life until Don gets in a car accident. It's not so happy after that. The Watcher moves on.
when you share your secrets and sorrows and hiding places with me.
Loki as the hunchback of Notre Dame is new. A blue, ugly, ravaged monster. At least until Aube finds him. It's cute watching Gypsy Aube make hunchback Loki happy, watching the sunrise and being friendly. But like in any hunchback tale, Aube dies leaving Loki to his own demise. The Watcher thinks the puzzle is biased toward pain. Next.
I love how you play along with my bad ideas, b efore you grow up and realize they are bad ideas.
(And in our times together I have many bad ideas.)
Loki is mischief. Dagsbrun, oddly enough, is, too. Enough so that Odin kicks them out of the palace every chance he gets. Childhood on Asgard is long and that means lots of bad ideas are committed by both of them until Dagsbrun gets older. Their last bad idea leaves Loki as a Jotun and Dagsbrun in prison. Another tragedy added to the growing pattern.
When we meet as adults you're always much more discerning. I don't blame you.
You can't kill a god with human poison. Vann Siegert learns that the hard way with a Loki that got banished and was hit by Vann's truck. Vann is weary of Loki for a long time. At some point in their travels, that all goes away. Ideally, two killers together is not a good sign, but here as they go from one state to another, it becomes almost domestic. Too bad it all ends in death row before Loki can get him off the planet.
Yet, always, you forgive me.
The Watcher can count the number of happy endings on one hand. This one is one of the few. Prince Loki, cursed to be in Jotun form until he finds love. Aube who trades himself and eventually forgives and loves this beast. Loki dies briefly at Aube's suitors hand before the curse is lifted by Aube's love. A beauty and a beast situation. It's stories like these that make the Watcher feel alone.
As if you understand what's going on, and you're making up for all the lifetimes in which one of us doesn't exist,
The Watcher wonders over bonds between timelines. There is a reality where superheroes and gods don't exist. In this world, Loki is a character in a book. A book that Don cherishes throughout his life. He has to buy several copies because they always wear out. He always roots for Loki even though he's the villain. By now the Watcher questions what things stretch beyond the bounds of time and space.
and the ones where we just, barely, never meet.
Sometimes they just don't meet period. Such is the way of life. In a world where Loki becomes a singer, he never meets Don. Don goes to a concert, maybe two, but they never meet. They never touch, speak or lock eyes. Loki goes on with his life. So does Don. It is fascinating how different one's life could be if one never met the other beside him.
I hate those. I prefer the ones in which you kill me.
The most common event is the New York invasion. Lots of people die there, led by Thanos through Loki. Don is in New York several times when this occurs. And every time he dies, usually at the hand of the scepter. Loki never realizes what he kills that day. It's only a tragedy to those who know what could have been.
But when all's said and done, I'd surrender to you in other ways.
There are also worlds where Loki gives up everything. Somehow those always end up happy. The current piece in the watchers hand shows Loki giving up his godhood and everything that goes with it, becoming a normal man. It's something common between Don and Loki. Sacrifice. Power for suburban life. And a prince is happy there. Content. The Watcher smiles at these because out of anyone he knows power makes no one truly happy.
Even though each time, I know I'll see you again, I always wonder
There is a Loki who is friends with a man named Shakespeare and preforms for him. There is a man named Adam who watches everyone of the shows Loki is in. They do meet and Loki does shows long after Shakespeare moves on. He does them in Adam's home every other night. One day Adam, gets sick, contracting the plague. Loki feeds him one of Idunns apples and he never misses a show again. It's one of the Watchers favorites.
is this the last time?
Sometimes there's an odd one that doesn't quite fit. Like Hansel and Loki. Two models, both immature but crazily obsessed with the other. Even after Hansel loses his beauty, Loki competes and plays around with him. They never really settle down but they certainly love one another, shown by the letters and make up products they send one another. Queer platonic is the word. An odd shaped piece to the win on the outskirts of the puzzle.
Is that really you?
Donna is a single mom who loves her boys dearly. Loki is a boastful man who learns humility after Donna put some in his place. Loki treats her like a princess and starts boasting of her instead. At first the Watcher didn't recognize them but their personalities don't change much. The two dance into a sunset, proud and humble.
And what if you're perfectly happy w ithout me?
The hardest part of completing the puzzle is trying to figure out the pieces that don't fit. Like Loki and Sigyn. A happy and beautiful couple and many universes. Ones that have no room for Don. These pieces don't fit the puzzle that seems to be overwhelming the tree. He sets those aside for another day.
Ah, but I don't blame you; I'll never burn as brilliantly as you.
One of the last pieces he finds is of a cocky Loki and a hungry Indianapolis Bones. They make a great presidency for eight years. Then they travel the universe, unearthing ancient artifacts and eating all kinds of cuisine. It ends badly with the snap, one that is never reversed. Through this Loki, the Watcher finds him...
It's only fair that I should be the one to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes
Running. He's been running for too long. The Watcher barely recognizes him from when the tree was created. He has run from timeline to timeline, helping save Loki's, watching others, serving the TVA and staying out of others hair. But that's not what's odd about him. It's the green glow that is odd. The glow follows him, signaling a big power at play. One that as the Watcher puts the last piece in place he finally is able to see.
until I find the one where you'll return to me.
Loki, god of stories, looks back at the Watcher from the center of the tree. The branch clutched to his chest glows orange, a man running through his hands. This is the puzzle. This is why the puzzle works. Because the god at the end of time is watching one man among trillions. Again, the Watcher has to wonder what does this love cost? The orange light jumps to a faraway branch and Loki's face falls.
It costs everything. The curse has a name. With the puzzle finally finished, the Watcher names it. It's simple, clear, cold, true.
Tragedy.