Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He had barely gotten through the fight as soon as they arrived. His Omega was screaming at him, louder than it had been in years, possibly due to the recent rejection he had suffered only two years ago. His omega had decided that Geralt of all people was their mate despite how utterly ridiculous that is and despite all of the bright flashing signs telling him that this would only end in heartbreak. 

And it did. 

Standing on that mountain staring down at the man he had thought he meant more to that a simple tag along as he was shouted at and berated and set away. The two years following had contained two of the most painful heats that he had experienced since he lived in Lettenhove. 

He punished himself with abstinence and starvation, refusing to take another partner for any comfort or help. His omega didn’t need to do much to convince him he didn’t deserve it. Geralt's words replaying in his head were enough to keep him from anything reselmbing comfort.

Now as he clapped Lambert on the back, he was going to start taking the steps to reinserting himself into Geralt’s life. After all, it was the only thing he had left now. There was almost nowhere he wasn’t a wanted man in the south and with Nilfguard marching north, he needed to ensure his safety here. Make sure there was still at least one person in the world he could count on. 

“No.” The shorter witcher’s harsh tone cut through that fantasy before it was even realised. His steps faltered, no. No, of course not. That wasn’t the right way to go about it. He was no longer Jaskier the Bard or the Sandpiper. He was in a keep of strangers who didn’t know him or want to know him, he would act accordingly. He could be respectful when asked. 

Stupid fucking omega 

Unworthy of pack 

He didn’t let his face fall, taking scent suppressants was so easy now, it was second nature to keep them up all year round, he couldn’t afford to slip and risk offending the others in the keep. The mixed scents of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas filled his nose and he let himself sink into the background. Unedected and forgotten. Just as he had been for the past two years.

Geralt hadn’t said anything about his lack of scent yet but he couldn’t really blame the man. It had been a long journey and surrounded by so many unfamiliar scents, he doubted Geralt was even looking for his. But he was also not naive enough to count on that being the case for the rest of their time here. 

As much as he hated the idea of the other witchers scenting his utter despair and self-loathing, he would be asked about it either way. Maybe he could get Yennefer to enchant his scent to hide his chemo-signals. That might work. It would certainly ease his integration if the others thought that he was a neutral party. He didn’t want the misunderstanding to come up if they started to think that he wished them harm, or god forbid they judged his scent to be too clashing for the keep and sent him away again. He wasn't exaclty being dramatic when he thought he might not survive the second time.

“Jaskier, Yennefer, Go find a room before all the good ones are taken.” Geralt called across the hall from where he was dealing with Ciri. The hall had calmed down now. Most of the witchers had disappeared into the barracks or gone to the lab to patch up. Jaskier had done his fair share of the comforting and recovering, taking Yennefer into his arms after the particularly difficult fight. 

Yennefer quipped something back, 

“You mean I won’t be sharing your bed chamber.” She chirped with a cheerfully playful voice. It made Jaskier’s teeth ache and his omega shout in protest. 

Mate taking another 

Mate doesn’t want us 

Jaskier was about a second away from slamming his head into the wall to get the thing to shut up as he disappeared deeper into the keep. He would have to revisit the idea of talking to Yennefer, currently he needed to retreat for some privacy and try and get his primal under control. Telling it repeatedly that Geralt was not in-fact their mate, and had never been their mate, hadn’t seemed to work in the two years he had used that strategy. 

Maybe if he met another potential mate his Omega would finally move on. Even the thought of being with anyone else made his gut roll in discomfort. His Omega didn’t even need to say anything because they were both thinking it. Geralt was the only person who had ever made him feel safe, he wouldn’t find anyone else because there was no one else. 

The words of his father crept into the back of his mind as they so often did when he was at his lowest. ‘No one would want a loud omega.’ ‘omegas aren’t bard’s Jullian, once you’ve had an alpha pup you, you’ll understand, it’s where you belong.’ 'Perhaps she will be able to discipline some obedience into you too.’ He felt nauseous. Hand leaning on the wall as he climbed through the stone hallways. 

Lettenhove along with a few other places were considered highly traditional compared to the normal places. Not so much the town but more the lords and royals. Teaching their omegas though beatings to be subservient and supple while only alphas were allowed to rule. Betas, often left to wonder in between, judged if they were ‘good enough’ to be an alpha, or ‘unwanted enough’ to be an omega. 

Jaskier cursed his luck everyday that he wasn’t born as literally anyone else. Lettenhove didn’t even teach omega commands, believing that for an omega to command an alpha would be the same as bitching them. Something else they turned their noses up at, as if secondary gender was directly correlated to sexual preferences. 

Jaskier found himself slipping back into those old thoughts more often in the past two years, his weakened mental state allowing for his fathers lessons to slip through the cracks and punish him further. 

Having lived outside of Lettenhove since he was sixteen he knew most places viewed this as absolutely fucking absurd. Being so far out in the country they were often left to their own devices and many many jokes surrounded the several loose screws that would have had to go into making a place so completely backward. 

Of course every place had it’s average knothead alpha thinking the world owed him a submissive omega to abuse but in this day and age most people owned some sort of weapon or another. Jaskier has seen his fair share of creepy alphas who were ‘just trying to show you a good time’ get laid out or stabbed by an unamused omega. He himself carried a small blade for this same reason. 

Well, he did. He stopped wearing it on his person as much when he was traveling with Geralt but now that he was on his own again, it never left his side. 

The worst were the alphas who had been taught to just use their commands whenever, not knowing at all how Alpha commands were supposed to be used. It was obnoxious to hear ‘kneel’ or something to the like from an alpha who had clearly never never spent a heat looking after anyone. Then the whole tavern would turn to look at the offending alpha or sometimes beta and they would try and stumble into a graceful recovery when it didn’t work. 

  Jaskier found himself in one of the many barracks halls of the keep, wooden doors breaking up the worked stone with lances on the walls holding unlit torches. A window at the end of the hall allowed for a enough light to see in the day and knowing witchers, this amount of torches would be no feat to light. 

Nest 

His thoughts of witchers and their magic was broken by his omega keening needily. He rolled his eyes but looked for an unoccupied room anyway. He found one, closer to the end of the hall. He ignored how he didn’t smell any of the other witcher’s scents this way, there were at least a few other wings of rooms similar to this one closer to the main hall and he assumed that this would at least allow him to stay out of the way. 

Alone, 

Need pack 

Pack doesn’t want us 

No pack would want us. 

He opens the study wooden door to find a humble room, a single bed and chest along with a place to light a fire. There is a threadbare blanket and a hay pillow and nothing else. He supposes if this is where he is going to spend the rest of the winter he may as well get comfortable. 

Setting his bag down he feels the roll of nausea return for a moment. He groans at the feeling, letting his eyes drift shut as he tries to focus on something else. He doesn’t notice the lack of matches or flint in the room. This keep is made for witchers, the dry wood by the fire will do nothing for him. 

Once his dizzy spell passes Jaskier gets back up, determined to at least make himself useful while he’s here. 

Useful omegas get kept 

Get protected 

Mate wants a useful omega. 

That nearly knocks all of the wind from his sails. He’s not doing this for some twisted manipulation tactic to force Geralt to mate with him. That’s cruel to both of them. Geralt would never want him and Jaskier would know it was all fake. He feels his legs tingle over and steadies himself on the wall, suddenly feeling very tired. Like he’s just run a marathon. 

He shakes it off and heads back into the common area, this time in search of Yennefer. The faster he can cloak his scent the better his chances at appeasing the witchers. Not only does he have to convince them that he is not a threat to their peace, he as to do it while not reeking of heartbreak and self-loathing. 

His omega and him haven’t really been on the same page since the mountain, where it used to stand tall and proud, belting the most profound lyrics about love and hate and everything else, it now whimpers in the dark, only coming up to chastise him. 

Always the wrong decision 

Stupid omega 

He feels it’s hatred for him, for losing the one it chose as its mate. He knows that hatred comes from him but it’s easier to blame the primal side of him, it's what his father would have done. That's why they aren’t in sync anymore. The animosity makes them broken. Another part of him that is undesirable to any mate he may ever have. Just like the singing, and the lewd puns, just like the loud noises and constant stream of words. Just like his reckless behavior and unwanted stubbornness. 

The hall is empty now, no sign of any of the witchers or Yennefer. The rubble covers the ground, layers of dust built up from the broken stone and splintered wood is tossed around from the tables. 

All in all it could have been worse. It's still a liveable area and he assumes that with a little effort he it could be again. He hopes that they invite him to help with the clean up, it’s been so long since he had a sense for being useful. The Sandpiper filled that hole for him and somewhere he knows the system he built is still working, but that doesn’t keep the itch from his fingertips. 

But right now he was… looking for Yennefer? 

Food 

Eat 

Right right. He hears his stomach growl after the days on the path with little more than jerky to eat. He’s not exactly sure where the kitchen is but he should be able to find something there right. Despite the nausea he feels like he’s starving and his omega is urging him to keep moving toward the kitchen. 

Each step feels like he’s moving through shallow water but he does his best not to make a show of it. Even if there is no one around him he can’t help but feel watched. Judged. Maybe it’s his omega that's nitpicking his every movement. Whispering things about each action to make it better, to make him a better and more enticing omega. 

It makes him feel objectified and disgusting. Just like his father’s words. 

He finds an offshoot of the main hall that leds into a large kitchen. It resembled the lab he and Yennefer had been in during the fight but with less magical ingredients and filled with the more mundane. A large iron pot  hung in the center of the room over a cold fireplace. 

There were two other witchers here. One was sitting on one of the counters while the other stood off to the side of him. They seem to be talking, their scents invading the space heavily. A Beta and an Alpha. Neither of which Jaskier recognized. It seems that witchers don't know what suppressants are. But he supposes that if omegas are never in danger of assault by entitled alphas due to their status of witcher, they wouldn’t really need to hide. Only fools pick fights with witchers. 

Both men stop hat they were talking about to look at him, he doesn't pay much mind to them. Spotting a bowl of fresh fruit on the other side of the room. Immediately his mouth starts to water at the prospect of sweet fruit. 

Fuck what is wrong with him, his legs still feel heavy but the boost of adrenaline is nice to get him there. Jaskier bee lines for the bowl and picks out one of the apples to take back to his room and eat. Now with the food in his hands, the overwhelming urge to get back to his den takes hold. He has to stash this there. Its not safe to eat here, in front of strangers. 

“Hey! Bard. Can’t you wait till dinner.” One of the witchers calls out to him, his tone mocking and cruel. Jaskier fights the urge to whimper, swallowing his omega before it can embarrass them further. 

“Guess all that cowering took a lot out of him.” The other witcher laughs, speaking to the first. He feels a flare of rage overtaken by shame. 

“Not all of us seek the punishment of starvation. It’s just an apple.” Jaskier defends, already making his way for the door. He needs to get back to his den and eat, he’s absolutely sure these witchers can hear his stomach consuming itself. 

“That's how it starts, next thing you know he’ll be stealing meat.” Jaskier hears one of them hiss as he exits into the main call. 

Stealing? 

Not our food

don't deserve to be fed 

dont deserve to eat 

He hurries back to the small room with the apple clutched tightly to his chest. His omega is begging him to return it and apologize but his hunger is so great now. It’s even winning out against the nausea. 

Once back in his room he quickly shuts and locks the door. He doesn’t let go of the apple, he knows as soon as he puts it down his omega wont let him pick it back up. It feels warm in his hands as he’s been holding it to his chest. Now he just has to take a bite, just one. 

He sits on his bed and lets his hands fall into his lap. Just staring at it. 

It's ours. Geralt would be ok with us having this. He hates that that is where his mind goes, as if he needs his mates permission for anything. It’s ours, we need the sugar, we’re hungry. Please let me eat, he pleads with himself to comply. To let himself had this small thing but his omega is stubborn and his body doesn't listen to him.

His legs are nearly numb, and his arms feel the same. Even his eyelids are heavy. 

Just one bite, please. Just one, it’s ours. It’s ours. It’s ours. 

Bad omega 

Stealing from our hosts 

Jaskier nearly sobs, he can’t move it closer, his body won't let him. He doesn’t deserve it, didn't do anything to earn the food here. Why, why is it getting so bad all of a sudden? This is nothing like how his body was reacting to food yesterday. He even took Jerky from Geralt yesterday, playfully flaunting his prize in front of the other as he munched on it. 

Stole from mate! 

Undeserving omega 

Worthless omega 

Oh... That’s why... The heat and nausea roiling in his gut, the need for sugar and food. The sensitivity and the hyperactive primal. He’s in pre-heat... 

The panic sets in and he drops the apple in his rush to stand up. He needs to move, the longer he can stay moving the further he can push his heat back. He wasn’t prepared for this. He has nothing he needs for a heat. He doesn’t look back at his bed, pitiful supplies for a nest but it’s all he has. 

His breathing picks up as he paces the room. He can do this. He’s fucking Jaskier the bard, he can deal with an unplanned heat. He’s not useless enough to need help from the people barely tolerating his presence. 

He’ll have to lock himself away down here for the duration. But before that he needs to get Yennefer to mask his scent and he needs to gather more food and water. He’s going to have to steal again but it would be fine. He could deal with unhappy witchers once he wasn’t in heat. 

Maybe even the other omegas of the keep would understand. He cringed at the thought. Maybe witcher matting cycles are different, they all spend their cycles here right? So maybe the other omegas will be in heat at the same time as him. 

His omega yips at the idea of pack cuddles, it’s been so long since he’s spent his heat with anyone let alone a pack. That thought quickly turns sour as he remembers Lambert's words and the harsh accusations in the kitchen. No he is not part of the pack, he will be spending his heat alone. Again... its what he deserves. 

Which means he has to act fast. First yennefer. Then during the night he can sneak out into the kitchen and see what he can find for rations. He only needs five days worth of food. He can ration and it’s not like he’ll really be eating consistently anyway. When alone moments of lucidity will be few and far between so when he does come back up he’ll need to be smart about eating. 

He’ll survive this. 

Jaskier makes the last minute decision to take the apple and head towards the lab. The herbs he currently uses as suppressants have been working well enough but if he’s going into heat then he’ll need something stronger even if he remembers to take them. 

Jaskier’s heat had always been rough, it was by far his least favorite part about himself. From spending days locked in an empty room in lettenhove to finding any heat house he can find while on the path, then the two years he spent punishing himself for being abandoned. Heat has never once been about comfort or pack bonding or safety. It’s always been about survival. Curled around himself as the cramps made it too painful to move and hoping that the nausea lets up enough to allow him to eat soon. 

An utterly miserable time. He’s only glad that he’s never slipped once and let Geralt seen him in that truely pitiful state. He had of course never seen Geralt’s mate cycle either as it was, all witchers had theirs during winter but he hoped that the other man’s were much easier than his. He had heard many stories of omegas talking about how wonderful it is to spend their cycle with their pack and some deep seated resentment inside him festered at each remark. 

He was right to find Yennefer in the lab, rifling through her bag. She was sorting through her ingredients, restocking what she wanted to have on hand and putting away what she didn’t. Bottles and dried plants, mixes of liquids and a few other nicknacks and things. 

“Witch.” He starts with a playful tone. Seeing her lift her head with the same false disgust plastered over her face. The mocking play at banter had become comfortable by now, it was comforting to at least find someone here he could talk to. 

“Bard. Come to disrupt my very important business?” Sarcastically, as he put down the bottle in her hands to turn toward him. A subtle show that he had her full attention. 

“Was wondering if you could do me a favor, you can mask scents right? chemo-signals and all that?” Her brows furrowed for a moment and she looked him over with an analyzing glance. Jaskier knew she didn’t smell anything, his suppressants would even be able to keep his pre-heat scent locked away. It’s probably why it had taken so long for him to catch it. 

“Yeah… why?” 

“Thought you’d jump at the chance not to have to smell me and my amazing scent.” Jaskier teases, hoping she won't push past it. 

“It’s your prerogative, if that's what you want bard. Don’t say I didn’t do anything for you.” She shugs and picks through a couple of things left out on the desk to begin preparing for the spell. 

“My fair lady! I would never. I’ll even give you this for your troubles” He mocks offense and goes to sit down on the counter where there’s space, tossing the apple to Yennefer. She rolls her eyes at the playful tone and sets it down out of the way. It’s offensive in his peripheral vision and he can’t bring himself to look at it. The previous shame made a resurgence at that. 

Yennefer doesn’t ask any other questions and they don’t really conversate after that. She works mostly silently and Jaskier hums to himself even if it is making his headache worse. He knows exactly how to play the aloof bard. Be loud, be loud so that no one will want to ask questions or prompt you to talk more. Be loud so that they get sick of your voice before they can give you a chance to say anything real. 

It always works and this will only help him hide what's going on. At least until the heat is over and then he can go back to placating the keep of witchers so they don’t leave him behind. Maybe he could get them to like him, hopefully a little more than Geralt’s tolerance of him. It's a nice thought, many people had broken to his charms before. 

“I’ll be able to reverse it whenever so don’t worry about that. But I think it’s a smart idea. Keep full of stranger’s with supernatural senses. I can see why you’d want some privacy.” Jaskier laughs along with her. An excuse he hadn’t even thought about but was glad that's how she saw it. She was mostly right, privacy and not wanting the humiliation of every witcher knowing exactly how he was feeling. But it’s not as if he had ever been shy with his emotions, the strangers were fine, it was Geralt who he didn’t want to know how he was feeling. 

Just like his mouth his scent was also considered strong for an omega, unusually you could only really tell an omega’s scent when you got close to them. Jaskier’s went a bit further than that but still carried the sweeter notes that most omega’s shared. With alpha’s usually conversational distance was enough to get a good lock on their scent. Just another part of the show that was expected of a strong alpha, the same as a bluejay showing its color to a potential mate. Jaskier always found it a little silly but he could see the practicality in putting on a show. 

“Here, now sit still.” Yennefer pulled him from his thoughts as she came to stand in front of him. Jaskier watched her close her eyes and squint slightly. Like she was concentrating. 

Under her breath she whispered something in what Jaskier recognized as the language of the elves. He wasn’t quite fluent but he was getting very close. That was just conversations, spell casting was another matter entirely. He only caught a few of the words and not in any order that made sense. 

Not that he was really paying attention to it, he was just basking in the relief that washed over him at the new development. Just one less thing to worry about, it would also help mask the scent of his heat while he was locked in his room. The last thing he needed was one of the others smelling his pain from behind the door and barging in. He shuddered to think. All those witchers suddenly knowing how pitiful he really was. 

“Right well, that should be it then. Let me know when you want me to take it off.” She stepped away and Jaskier hopped down after her. He didn’t feel any different and he supposed that he didn’t smell any different, considering he was already on suppressants. He relaxed a little, even standing now was a little shaky and his scent glands were beginning to ache. His heat was rapidly approaching. 

He just had to stay busy until he could get enough food to last the next five days. Walking was getting harder, like every muscle was strained in the wrong way. He felt tired, likely due to his body preparing itself for heat. The most he wanted to do right now was go and lay down, maybe he’d just sleep through the week and not have to even experience the pain of heat. 

Jaskier sighed as he made his way back through the halls, maybe he would see Geralt? 

Mate! 

Have to see Mate! 

Have to tell him what we did! 

He’ll be angry with us. 

Jaskier continued at an unhurried pace as his omega’s tone turned from one of excitement back into one of anxiety and self inflicted shame. He wished it would stop doing that. It wasn’t exactly healthy for him to be this stressed, especially on the cusp of his heat. Not to mention already being in pre-heat was probably only making it worse. 

There were several witchers in the main room, including Geralt and Ciri. Jaskier felt himself light up at the image of them together. Then immediately crest falling as he remembered that he was not part of their pack. Despite the less than kind sneering the young wolf had given him, he had become strangely fond of her. 

Such a horrid upbringing and yet she had only become stronger as a result. Seeing the way Geralt looks at her, there must be something exceptional about her. 

“Jaskier.” Jaskier perked up at the call of his name. Geralt called to him, expecting him to come over. He looked between them and the open hall that led back to his room. Making one last decision before heading over to Geralt and Ciri. 

“Yes Geralt?” He tried not to sound as breathless as he felt, the nausea creeping over him again. Tomorrow it will start. The ache in his scent glands was telling enough. The tiredness was something else. He was running out of time. 

“Thank you for helping with the fight.” That took Jaskier off guard. He stood in front of the two, eyes slightly widened in surprise before he composed himself. 

Mate… appreciates us? 

Mate thinks we are helpful 

“Not that I was much help, not even exactly sure what the stone did. Honestly Geralt as if we wouldn’t have all died without you there.” He flaunted his hand, pushing the complement back onto Geralt. 

“Hm. Well, there’s still a lot of clean up to do. You’re alright then, Yennefer patched you up?” Geralt looked him over, similar to the way Yen had done. It nearly made him shiver. He needed to get back to his room before his stupid alpha best friend sent him into heat before he could gather the proper supplies. It was really pretty pathetic that even this scrap of care was enough to give him the sort of hope he used to have. 

“Not that he actually did anything.” Ciri hissed out and Jaskier looked back toward the door at the insult, missing Geralt’s glare. 

“No I wasn’t hurt Geralt, you’re sweet for asking.” An ugly resentful remark about how he was not the one killing the witchers was left unsaid. He couldn’t bring himself to hurt the pup like that. He really didn’t have the energy for a playful jab either, best to retreat. 

Nest 

Bring mate to nest 

Jaskier is decidedly not going to ‘bring mate to nest’. In fact he thinks that with this little push toward his heat, he shouldn’t return there until he had the food he needed to get through it. Jaskier thought back to the thin blanket and hay pillow and internally cringed, it was going to be rough but doable. It was always doable. 

“Anyway, I think I’m going to finish settling in? So much dust on my doblet doesn’t make for a good first impression… I’m glad you’re safe now Ciri.” He turns his attention entirely to the princess when he speaks. It seems to take her off guard with sincerity. He means it of course. Whatever harsh words resulting from his impending pain he may think of, he would never wish harm on the poor girl. 

Geralt hums in response to his dismissal and he turns to leave, watching as Geralt’s eyes fall from him back to Ciri to renguage their conversation. Jaskier makes his way back into the barracks halls but doesn’t go straight to his door. 

The sun is setting now and it seems people will be eating soon. That’s both a good thing, as it means he is closer to gathering what he needs, and a bad thing as there is no way he will be able to sit for an entire meal. 

He manages to stumble into an unoccupied room just as the exhaustion in his legs and arms becomes too much. He sits down on the cold stone floor as gracefully as he can and just manages not to groan with the soreness. Everything has started to ache now, he can feel his scent glands throb, his teeth grinding with the headache coming on. He does groan as his head starts to pound. 

He needs water, throat dry and itchy. When was the last time he ate anyway. 

Warm 

Too warm 

He needs to get back up. He can’t stop now. He has to keep moving or he will fall into his heat and he can’t do that yet. Not yet. 

The room only spins a little bit when he stands. Then it’s fine. The pain is still there and he feels like the light from the window, however subdued it is, might kill him. Just keep walking. Just keep walking. He opts for pacing back and forth across the room. Moving slowly as to not upset his head or gut further. 

Time passes slowly as he waits and he hears commotions down the hall though no one comes to the door. All the while he thinks about what he will gather and how fast he can get it. 

His own waterskin won't be enough but he doesn’t have a second and he’d rather not have to venture out to refill it. He’d have to find at least one more. Geralt wouldn’t miss his right? He shouldn’t need it now that they were in the keep. They’d be using tankards over the winter. Then the next issue is food, as much as he would like fruits he couldn’t take too much of that or someone was bound to notice. That was fine, rations would work just the same. As much as he was not looking forward to meals of bread and jerky for the next five days, this wasn’t about comfort. He just needed to get through it. 

Before much longer Jaskier peaks out of the room hes occupied. It was much darker now, only moonlight streaming through the window at the end of the hall. He sighed in relief, the waiting was always the worst part. Jaskier was always much too restless for waiting and whenever he wasn’t doing anything he often found himself trapped in his own head. 

He krept down the hall toward the kitchen. He saw where the witchers set down their supplies. That's where he needed to go first. 

Its empty when he gets there. One step closer. Everything feels too warm, too close. His head poounds so hard he cah feel his body shake with each beat of his heart. His fingers shake as he pulls out his handkerchief. 

Crossing the room to the kitchen proves to be much more difficult than previously assumed. He nearly falls over top of several of the broken tables and the uneven terrain stresses his already tired legs. 

Once in the kitchen, he spots the pile of water skins that most witchers had just left out on one of the tables. With his own at his hip he sifts through the pile until he fimds the one that smells like Geralt. His knees nearly buckle when he finds it, reilef and loning washing over him in an isntant. 

Mate! 

Mate is here! 

Will take care of us

Make the pain stop

Tears pricked in his eyes as his omega cried out. It might not know the truth now but it would. Those would be the hardest days. He looked down at the waterskin in his hands, silently deciding if it was worth it for the pain of being able to smell Geralt but knowing that he wasn’t there, to be able to quench his thurst.

No, he needed this and Geralt was more likely to forgive him right? Unless this was just another reason to leave him behind again. Geralt wasn’t that unreasonable right? It was only when he ruined the other’s life that he was left behind. Although maybe the stakes have changed now that it is already over. He was only here to complete a favor for him. Maybe he was expected to leave now and this would just be a reason to forcibly remove him. 

Was he even wanted here? Allowed here? Maybe they had all expected him to leave already and now he was spending his heat here. The shaking got worse, full body tremors as the throws of his heat dragged him down the self-hatred spiral he was trying to avoid. 

Food 

Get food 

Survive 

Yes, right. Food. food and water. He couldn’t think about this right now. He had to get food and water for the next week, then he could wallow as much as he liked. That was the point of heat anyway right? Pain and self punishment... 

He pulled out his own waterskin and walked over to one of the open water barrels in the kitchen. Dipping them both in to fill them and then securing them back to his hip. The unexpected weight was just one more strain on his overworking body. The fruit bowl caught his eye again. 

One 

Just take one 

His mind complied immediately, laying out his handkerchief and placing an apple there before going off to find Jerky and bread. 

In the end he made it back to his room with enough fruit, bread, and jerky to last him the week if he rationed appropriately. The pain had lessened now as he took the time to eat and drink before leaving the kitchen. He hadn’t wanted to cut into his rations for heat week and it was helping. 

Now he just needed to rest and then it would start. Dread filled him as he set everything down next to his bed. It was too cold but he was sweating, the fever starting to set in. 

“Good timing.” He whispered under his breath as he pulled the blanket over him. He had the foresight to take off his leather jacket, draping it over himself as well as the blanket. A deep seated pit in his stomach settled. He was unsafe here. There was nothing about this place that was for him, no warmth, no pack, no nest. He wasn’t safe here. 

Jaskier curled up on himself under the two layers and pulled the pillow into his lap. If he couldn’t be safe himself then he could feel like he was protecting something. He needed… 

Mate 

Unsafe 

Strangers 

Have to get back to nest 

His eyes watered again. It will be worse tomorrow. It always got worse the deeper in he got. 

Jaskier subconsciously reached over the edge of the bed toward the two waterskins, picking out the one that still smelled like Geralt and holding it to his chest. It was cold but the scent was comforting. It silenced his worried omega. He could mock protecting his mate, holding him close and keeping the harsh place away from him. 

His mind soothed at the thought. Settled slightly despite the pain he was already in. He could get through this. 

Jaskier allowed himself to relax around the waterskin enough to start to drift off. The exhaustion of the day finally wears through the worry about the unsafe environment. Eventually, shaking and scared, Jaskier passes out. Beginning the first of many very fitful rests for the next week spent in the witcher keep.

The next time Jaskier awoke it was to the terrible twisting pain in his gut. The cramps had started the cold leather waterskin pressed to his chest wasn’t helping either but no matter how much it made it worse the comforting smell of his mate was worth it. 

He felt hazy and tired, the room swam around him in fever, his legs were curled up and it was all he could do not to throw up at the nauseating movement. He whimpered into the pillow but it didn’t do much to hide the sound. 

Pack 

No pack

No nest 

Unsafe 

Run 

Hide 

Run 

Hide 

Jaskier curled up further, as tight as he could around the things in his lap. He could feel the sweat on his skin and the harsh, cold air that seemed to bite at it. Even under the two layers he felt too cold. His head pounded and his gut twisted uncomfortably between the pain of cramps. 

The whimpering continued as his omega begged him to find somewhere safer. Crying that this place was dangerous. Not exactly much he could do about it, he had to stay in here and even if he didn’t he didn’t trust that his legs wouldn’t just give out as soon as he tried to stand. 

Eventually, crying and whimpering through the pain, Jaskier passed back out for another fitful rest. Maybe when he woke up he would feel better or maybe be less lucid. He dreaded that thought. One thing he knew about heats, it could always get worse.

Another few hours passed with Jaskier turning in his bed, dipping his head to press his nose the tanned leather of the waterskin was about all the comfort that he could get as everything started to feel like too much all at once. He needed to press his back to something and face out, face toward the danger for when it came. 

He turned over and shoved himself in the corner of the bed, against the wall to look out into the room. Drifting between sleeping and wakefulness as he tried to focus on the shapes in the room. Hunger was taking over and he knew he needed to eat soon but any movement away from the wall would leave him open. His eyes fixed to the door, just waiting for an intruder, a stranger, someone who wished him harm. 

He didn’t move from that position for a long time, slipping in and out of sleep he would startle at any sound from outside. His heart racing a rabbit’s speed in his chest, his adrenaline having nowhere to go but loop inside him. Too weak to stand or fight to protect, he could do nothing but sit, terrified, locked away. 

Movement 

Strangers 

Hide 

Get back to nest 

Protect nest 

It made him want to scream. What nest! He had no nest, no den, no home or pack or family. The only man who had ever bothered to know him wanted nothing to do with him and he couldn’t even be that mad about it. He'd fucking dersereved it! Geralt had been right to send him away, he couldn't even blame the man! He would have too. His omega whines and whimpers and Jaskier can't tell if those noises are just in his head or if the scrachyness in his throat is there for a reason. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing as pain lanced over him again. There was a window in his room, a slim slit of glass that let little light in but was enough to see by and tell the time by. More time passed as he faded in and out of sleep. He would need to eat soon but that could happen later. He was just so tired. 

It was night the next time consciousness came to him. The water skin pressed to his nose, his omega coaxing him into drinking. 

Mate 

Mate brought for us 

Provide for us 

Good mate 

A brief moment of reprieve as he let the bliss wash over him. The first time he felt cared for, he drank. He let a pleased rumble roll through his chest, everything too hazy to remember where the water actually came from. He pressed against the wall harder, seeking the comfort of being safe but finding only cold stone. He whimpered again and closed the waterskin. Clutching it tightly to his chest to hold on to the brief moment of comfort for as long as he could. 

Hunger raged now, after eating nothing for the first day he was certainly feeling it. Finally feeling hazy enough to ignore the pain he crawled to the edge of the bed and leaned over it to pick up the small bindle of food he had gathered. 

Keep up strength 

Survive 

He picked through it, finding peices of dried meat and tearing off part of the bread he found and taking small bites. He went slow, not wanting to indulge too quickly and just end up throwing it all back up. He always hated salty things during heat, his body calling for more sugar to keep up his energy but this was what he had. After finishing he retied the biddle and placed it back on the ground beside his bed. 

His eyes flicked to the door frequently, even when there was no noise on the other side. Then they landed on the chest at the end of the bed...

In a flurry of scrambling motion, Jaskier oriented himself on the bed to hang his legs over. His bare feet barely touched the ground before he recoiled at the cold stone. They still felt shaky but he could do this. 

Slowly, he put his weight on them. Stumbling a few times and clutching the bed for support. If he could move the chest in front of the door he could feel safer. 

Hide 

Mate not coming 

Mate gone 

Protect nest 

Don’t be useless 

That pushed him. He immediately righted himself, his legs aching and head pounding as the world spun for a moment. The fever had only worsened since the morning. He stumbled toward the chest. Similar sentiments from his omega continued to push him. 

He had to be better for his mate, so his mate wouldn’t leave him behind again. So he would be worth the effort to be kept around. 

The soft patter of tears hitting cold stone and the soft mutterings of his omega were the only sounds as he made to the empty room.

KEEP MOVING 

He lurched forward, crashing into the harsh edges of the thing. They bit into his skin while he righted himself again. He fixed himself behind it and started pushing. Every muscle in his arms screamed and strained. He needed more energy for this, it wasn’t going to work. 

KEEP MOVING YOU WORTHLESS OMEGA 

Another sob wracked through his already shaky form. It didn’t budge. The heavy wood and metal box was too much for him. He didn’t have the energy for this. He needed help. He needed his mate. 

If you can’t even do this then what are you good for 

His arms dropped from the chest, his knees hit the ground as it all became too much. Loud sobs rang out but no tears fell. He shut his eyes and let himself curl up seeking comfort in a familiar position. He didn’t move even when it didn’t come. 

He was positioned between the wall, the footboard or the bed, and the chest. Closed in on three slides, at least it felt a little bit better than the bed. With the door out of sight at least he couldn’t obsessively check it. Even then his omega seemed to get worse. 

He left us 

Mate is gone

Worthless omegas don’t get a nest 

Don't get food from their mate 

We are alone 

Its your fault

The night and day after passed much the same. Jaskier didn’t move from that spot, unable to find the motivation or any reason to return to the bed. Any comfort, even the smallest amount, wasn’t what he deserved. He deserved the cold stone floor and the screaming self-inflicted insults of his omega. 

He covered his mouth with his hand to muffle the sounds, occasionally closing his mouth and nose to stifle it. He knew he wasn’t being silent but he could hope that with how little witchers there were in this part of the keep he would be quiet enough. 

Geralt hadn’t seen Jaskier in days. Their last conversation seemed normal and he had let his bard settle in like asked but then he didn’t show up for dinner and Geralt hadn’t seen him since. 

His alpha yipped at him to find the bard that he could be in danger and that he needed Geralt by his side. Geralt huffed at each of these expressions. If Jaskier was avoiding him, he was well within his right to do that. 

And whose fault is that 

Geralt winced at that. 

He was sitting in the dining hall for the fourth night since he had seen Jaskier. He wanted to storm the little bard’s room and demand his attention but that would likely only lead to more distance. The room was lively even through his sulking. His whole mood had shifted once Jaskier hadn’t shown up for dinner, taking a sour tone as he missed his friend. 

Mate 

Miss our mate 

He huffed again, now annoyed at his alpha. Like Jaskier, he and his alpha had been at odds since the mountain. Each step away from the bard had cracked his primal further, leaving him angry and scared and blaming. That blame always fell to Geralt, it was his fault after all. An unfit alpha, can’t protect or provide or help. Couldn’t even listen to his omega when he suggested they leave. 

He should have left with Jaskier to the coast long before the dragon. Should have taken Jaksier and Ciri away from the war and Nilfgaard and left for the coast, for safety. Everyday since he regrets it, vowing that he would make it up to the bard in any way possible. That was the least he deserved. 

He stabbed angrily at the tough meat on his plate, he needed his bard here. To make him laugh and smile when no one else would. He turned to Yennefer, maybe she and Jaskier were talking. They seemed much closer than the last time he had seen them. 

“Yen. Have you seen Jaskier.” She finished chewing and looked up at him pensively, thinking back to their last interaction and realising how long ago that was. 

“Now that you mention it, not for a little while. I thought he was hanging out with you.” His gave him a knowing look and his chest tightened painfully. 

She knows what you did to your mate 

“He hasn’t been with me.” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he responds. He turns his attention to the others to bring them into the conversation as well. 

“Has anyone seen the bard?” He growls out, anger taking over as the worry krept in. 

Eskel, Lambert, and Aiden are the closest and all shook their heads. There were a few grumbling nos from the other witchers as well but one actually spoke. 

“Yeah, we caught the little bastard taking food from the kitchen.” It came from a pair of witcher’s sitting closer to the end of the table. They sneered as they spoke in a way that made Geralt annoyed. 

Why would his mate steal food? 

“Well, what’d he take?” Yennefer piped up. Taking the break in conversation to further it. 

“Just an apple right?” The witcher who had spoken before turned to confirm with the other who gave a half hearted nod. 

“Just an apple. No idea why, it was like right before dinner.” He shrugged and Geralt felt Yennefer bristle beside him. He turned back to her and saw her face twist in confusion again. 

“He came to see me a few days ago, asked if I could mask his scent for him… He gave me an apple.” 

“Why would he want to hide his scent from us?” Geralt was getting more worried the more that was said. He needed to find the bard now. Would he even be able to with the scent masked. Geralt realized he didn’t even know where Jaskier had been staying or even if he had a room. Was he even in the keep anymore? 

Find him 

A vicious growl ripped through his throat as his alpha demanded he find their mate. 

“Can you undo it?” Yennefer also looked worried for her friend. 

“Y-yes. Of course. I didn’t even think. You can find him right?” Geralt didn’t look at her. 

Find mate 

Mate in danger 

Protect mate 

He stood abruptly and made his way toward the barrack's hall, Yennefer followed quickly behind him. The three other witchers around them gave a single glance before they followed as well. 

“Geralt. We’ll find him.” Eskel cut through his frantic swirling thoughts as they walked. When he didn’t stop Eskel grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to face him. 

“You are acting feral, you are going to scare the man. We’ll find him.” His voice was calming, the grounding rumble of his packmate to remind him that he wasn’t alone and that his mate was safe in their hands. He gave a deep, deliberate breath and that seemed to satisfy his packmate. 

The search continued. Any vacant room was opened while Yennefer prepared to undo the masking spell once they found him. 

Where is mate 

Where is mate 

FIND HIM YOU PIECE OF SHIT ALPHA 

HE IS ALONE

IT'S YOUR FAULT 

Geralt ignored the huffing growl rising in his throat, and the anxious way his pace hurried. He’d stopped trying to correct his primal about the status of his and Jaskier’s relationship years ago. It had only made it hurt that much more when he had betrayed the bard. His alpha whimpered for days on end, painful clenching in his heart as he tried to focus on anything that wasn’t his spectacular failure. 

Deep in the keep, at one of the farthest rooms from the main hall they found him. 

Geralt heard him before he saw him. Soft whimpering and tearful cries through mumbling lips. His mate is distressed and alone, hiding away from them. He howled at that thought, the others, further down the hall snapping to attention as he tore into the room with a violence unseen. 

The sight nearly shattered what little was left of him now. His alpha was quiet for only a moment before it was driven over. 

Mate? 

Mate is sad 

Mate is distressed 

Why? 

Confusion and anger roiled under his skin at the sight. The room was a mess, as much as it could be. The blanket hung off the bed along with the red leather coat, a bindle of food rested half open on the ground. There was a water skin, his water skin, on the bed and a second one next to the bindle. 

What had his heart racing was his bard, curled in the corner, behind the chest, shaking and mumbling. He looked terrible. Long hair tousled from rough groping, tear tracks and puffy eyes and chattering lips. It was freezing in the room. He was curled up on himself, muttering. 

“Stupid omega. Worthless omega. No pack, no pack.” Horse whispers from a dry throat, it wobbles with tears as he struggles to breathe through the gasps of pain.

“Yen!” He called out for Yennefer to take down the spell before he did anything else. The others were gathered around now too, staring at the man on the ground with mixes of shock and horror. 

“On it.” In a wave the flood of scent filled the room, sending a few of the witcher’s reeling at its potency. Geralt’s mind flooded with despair, heat, omega, distress, heartbreak. He heard himself whimpering. This is not what his mate should smell like. 

Mate in heat 

Mate in heat alone 

“He- he was…” Geralt heard Aiden gasp behind him as he rushed into the room. His instincts completely took over. He kneeled next to Jaskier, cringing at the harsh flinch and scrambling away as his wild unfocused eyes searched for the perceived threat. 

“Danger, unsafe. Never safe. Never safe.” Jaskier whispered, curling up on himself even further and bracing like he was expecting pain. Geralt’s heart shattered in his chest and his primal clawed at him to let him comfort their mate.

“He’s gone into heat? Why the fuck didn’t he tell any of us?” Lambert’s annoyance and worry were clear in his voice. The omega in him is confused at such behavior. 

“Get the heat room ready, furs from my room and Yens. Bring his stuff too.” Geralt ordered before slowly closing in on Jaskier. He was deep in it, muttering self punishment from deep in a hurting headspace. Geralt felt himself slipping too, his primal slowly but surely making its way to the surface. 

“Jask… pack is here, here for you. Come to the den. Come to safety.” His primal rose with the words, filling his role as an alpha to provide for his mate. How couldn’t he have noticed? Why didn’t Jaskier tell him? While it was true that the man had never spent his heat with him, that didn’t mean that Geralt couldn’t help. 

He reached out toward the shaking bard, he continued to recoil but Geralt was consistent. He needed to pull the bard back out so they could get him to a heat room. His hand landed on the bard’s arm and clamped. Jaskier struggled for a moment but stilled, almost accepting his fate. He allowed himself to be pulled into Geralt’s arms, his nose forced against Geralt's scent glands as the alpha rumbled to him. 

Jaskier was limp in his arms until he managed to take in a struggling breath. Realization and recognition hitting them both all at once. There was no trace of the honeysuckle sweet smell of slick or the heady fog of arousal on Jaskier’s skin, in fact there was no trace of it at all in the room. Geralt knew then that for the entirety of the four days Jaskier had spent in heat, alone, he had been in pain. Suffering as his omega chastised him. He felt unsafe and unloved and sacred for days on end and no one had noticed. 

Then he started struggling, recognizing Geralt’s scent and reacting to it. 

“G-ger- alpha. Alpha, I’m sorry. I- sorry sorry sorry… I'm sorry alpha. Don’t leave, please- please don’t leave. I can be good. I’ll be a good omega for you.” Jaskier was getting lower, trying to make himself smaller and baring his neck to Geralt. He was supplicating himself to the other man. Geralt heard several of the others wince in disgust at the display. Geralt himself was reeling. Who had taught him to do this. Who had told him that this was what was expected. When had his strong and resiliant mate been reduced to this. His breath stopped in his chest. it was all too much for him. 

“J-jask. You’re safe now, we’re going to the nest.” Jaskier shook his head, clutching on to Geralt’s shirt now, as if to hold him there. Still trembling like a leaf, his lips were almost blue and his skin was cold. Geralt gathered him back up into a crushing embrace, immobilizing him in his arms to prevent anymore demeaning behavior. 

“I stole, alpha. Bad omegas don’t get nests. I- I'm sorry, I- I won’t steal again, please- don’t leave.” His breath was raspy and gasping as he spoke. Each word harsh in his mouth, likely from days spent muttering them to himself. 

“He’s talking about the food, likely taken from the kitchen. Geralt, there's just under half a week's worth of food here. This is not enough for a mating cycle and he hasn’t eaten much of it. Geralt he’s starving.” Yennefer’s voice sounded and Geralt responded with a growl, clutching Jaskier tighter. 

“I couldn’t- take it, take it back. I only ate a little I promise- …I promise. Alpha please-” Geralt could feel himself tipping over with each whimper of his bard. His chest tensed with each sound that came from his friend, the person who he was responsible for keeping content and happy so that he could share his light with the world. Now he lay utterly broken in Geralt’s arms, believing he deserved it. 

“Jaskier.” His alpha command rumbled up through his chest like a tidal wave, coursing over the other in a heatwave that dragged him to lucidity with a yanking force. The shaking continued but the whimpering attempts at supplication stopped as Jaskier blinked up at him. 

“G-geralt? Oh. Oh god.” He tried to pull away but Geralt didn’t let him. The longer he kept the omega trapped against his scent glands the more comfort he would start to feel. He would have the rest of the pack join if he didn’t think that would freak his mate out. 

“I- i never meant for you to see me like this. I’m sorry.” The apology forced another growl out of him and Jaskier winced. The act of aggression was putting him back under? His response to aggression from his perceived protector was supplication? 

Even his alpha was unnaturally silent, how could he possibly face the bard after this, after knowing that this was his fault. 

Your fault 

You mate hurts 

You hurt him 

He felt himself slipping. The need to protect and provide and hold clawing at his insides. His primal searching for a way to the surface to take over the care. They needed to go now, while Jaskier was at least a little lucid. Before Geralt went entirely into a state of caregiving. 

“I-it’s only one more day, I- I think. I… I’m not sure how long I’ve been here. I’m sorry.” He hated seeing his strong and confident mate like this. Usually so sure footed, now reduced to this. His failure as an alpha may have helped lead to this but there was absolutely more to it than that.

“I’m taking you to a heat room, Jask. To the nest. To our den.” It wasn’t a question, he knew Jaskier would resist, too deep into his spiral that he was already slipping back under. 

“No no no, worthless omega, burdening my alpha. I’m sorry alpha. I’m sorry.” Geralt stood without thinking, pulling Jaskier to his chest in a bridal carry and making his way toward where some of the other witchers had run off to prepare their heat room. Jaskier clutched at him now, trying to draw his knees up to his chest as the scent of pain washed over him. It covered him. No trace of the contentment or arousal that he was supposed to feel during this time. 

Scent him

Comfort mate 

Heal mate 

Mate hurting 

He hadn’t stopped the whine since he had found Jaskier. Once they got to the heat room he would go there to protect and reassure his mate providing comfort and pack scents and holding him until he came back. Then they would be having a very long and involved conversation about exactly what the hell he was thinking trying to do this on his own. And exactly how long he had gone through heats like this. It was clearly not his first time, considering the preparation he had done for it. 

Jaskier pleaded with him the whole way, begging him not to leave and apologizing repeatedly. Not once did the man look up to see where they were going or open his eyes. A constant bracing for the pain he expected to come. Geralt nudged his nose behind the bard’s ear again, giving a small lick to scent mark him, hoping to sooth his mate in some way. 

The room was prepared when they got there. A small room at the heart of the keep, one door and low ceilings, carpets and furs on the ground over hay and fur. It created a padded area that a nest could be built on without the restriction of a bed. A small bathing pale with soap and rags sat in the corner. Lambert was pouring freshwater into it as Eskel and a few others brought in handfuls of furs and knitted blankets, the softest pillows they had and clothing from Geralt and Yennefer’s rooms. 

Geralt took Jaskier to the furthest corner and sat down, there was already a corner made of pillows, Jaskier was clearly not in a space to be making a nest right now. Ignoring the fact that he apparently didn’t think he deserved one. Geralt felt himself growl again but that wasn’t helping so he stifled it into another sympathetic whimper. 

“Den, safe Jaskier. Nest with pack and friends and safe. I will keep you safe, Jaskier.” Geralt cooed, keeping his voice low and soft to his mate. Jaskier only seemed to cry harder, clutching at his shirt like a vice. Like he thought Geralt might step away at any moment. 

“No- no. not safe. Never safe. Mate gone. Left behind. Bad omega, useless omega left behind.” Geralt turned so Jaskier was crowed against the walls now, he sat so that Jaskier was firmly secured in his lap, getting himself to surround the bard as much as possible. He felt the others close in with their materials and start to form a makeshift nest around the two. The omegas of the pack directing. While water and food was placed just outside, within Geralt’s reach but not too close as to be an obstacle. 

He had to get Jaskier to eat and drink soon. He nuzzled at the man’s neck, ducking under his chin to sooth with small kisses and scent marking. Jaskier could hate him as much as he liked after, for now he had to make his friend feel ok. If not better, ok. 

“Jaskier, here.” He took his water skin and brought it up to the bard’s lips, holding his head so he could have to face it. 

“There- there good omega. Drinking so well. Taking what your alpha provides. Thank you- thank you Jaskier for allowing me to provide for you.” Jaskier’s tongue licked at the lip of the waterskin as he took in as much as he could. Before he was done Geralt took it away, letting the man breathe for a moment. Relaxed for the minute at the praise. 

“Th-thank you.” He gasped, his eyes now dried of tears but the shaking hadn’t stopped and he hadn’t let go. Geralt guessed that he likely wouldn’t for as long as he was spiraling. That was fine. They would worry about everything else once Jaskier was more lucid. 

“One more, one more for me.” He raised it back up and Jaskier drank greedily again. The dehydration was evident, Geralt guessed he hadn’t been drinking properly for any of the four days he spent like that. The thought made him nauseous, his primal crying out to comfort and protect it’s mate. 

“Good omega. So good for me. Good Jaskier. Thank you for drinking.” He cooed again as he nuzzled the other, after that the man just looked tired. His body finally relaxes slightly into the touch of the witcher. 

Jaskier had gone mostly silent now, no longer muttering those demeaning things. Just simpering and panting. Still there was no contentment on his skin, he was still scared but he did not say it. No longer begged or pleaded and that was almost worse. As if he believed Geralt to be unswayed by his words. It was another form of fawning, he didn’t feel safe or comforted and all Geralt could do was his best to fix that. 

As long as he didn’t get any worse during this heat then they should be fine. The next heat Geralt would make sure he was there, to comfort and protect. To keep his bard from getting to a place like this again. 

“Geralt?” Yennefer’s voice was soft and it didn’t seem to bother the bard. He seemed on the verge of passing out at the moment, sleepily nodding his head but waking himself to continue his hold on the witcher. 

“Shh sh, Jaskier, rest. Rest with me. Sleep, you deserve it. Being so good and drinking the water I provided. Rest.” He again licked lightly just behind the other’s ear, petting his back and neck as to thoroughly bathe him in his calmed and contented scent. 

“Yes Yen?” His tone was softer now and he didn’t take his eyes off the bard. This was too important to mess up again. His past failures would not be the reason Jaskier sank deeper now. 

“He could be hurt, and considering that shit show in his room, I have no doubt his cycle is messed up. I’ll have to examine him once this is over. I’ll talk to Vesemir about it but… Geralt, there is every likelihood we’ll have to induce an artificial heat to reset him. From what the others are telling me the scents are all messed up.” Genuine worry and devastation filled her voice. Geralt mimicked her sentiment. Another heat would be harsh and likely a lot more intense but he and the rest of the pack would be there this time, they would do it right this time. 

Mate can not suffer 

We won't let him 

He held Jaskier tighter as the bard finally slipped into unconsciousness. The stress, starvation and energy expenditure taking over. He was exhausted. Heavy eye bags and shaky breaths as his body worked in overdrive. Geralt laid him down and stretched over him, trapping the bard against the soft floor and his body. He needed Jaskier to feel safe and covered when he woke up. 

Many of the other witchers, alpha and omega, appreciated when their partners would do something similar when they were deep in it. The pressure and closeness provided comfort and safety. The skin to skin contact helped too but Geralt wasn’t going to leave Jaskier for even a movement, not even to do that. 

He curled around his friend in a protective and secure manner, letting his rumble vibrate deep into the other’s chest. Trying to tell him, even in his sleep, that he was safe, that he didn’t have to face the pain alone anymore. 

The others would be around with more food later, fruits and broths and honeyed bread. Geralt pushed his thumb into Jaskier’s hip where his arm trapped the smaller man, rubbing his scent over the other’s skin as much as he could manage. He also dragged one of Yennefer’s furs closer to wrap around the two of them. Rubbing the fur over Jaskier’s skin as well. The more familiar scents the better but Jaskier wasn’t familiar with many people. He sighed, pressing his nose to the back of Jaskier’s neck again. 

Pain 

Heartbreak 

Despair 

We did this to him 

His alpha whimpered and whined for their hurting mate. He would feed him when he woke up, Jaskier needed more food. Deserved to have the sweeter treats that omegas got when in heat at the keep. He wanted to be the one to provide those things for him. His piramal started to feel very territorial over the man in his arms, so clearly in need of help but and so strong to have lasted this long. 

Strong mate 

But too thin 

Needs to be fed 

Mate needs to be healthy to take care of the pup 

Yes, Jaskier was absolutely built. He was strong and that was good but he needed to keep up eating if he wanted to stay that way. Geralt would feed him if he had to, it was his job after all. To take care of the little bard under him. 

Jaskier was settling, his body was relaxed now that he was sleeping and he didn’t seem to be twitching as much. Geralt hoped that the scent bathing and pressure was helping with the rest. Hopefully he wasn’t dreaming of anything unpleasant. Geralt didn’t sleep, he closed his eyes to focus on comforting Jaskier but he didn’t sleep. If the bard woke up panicked he would need to be there to keep him from running or hurting himself. Even if he needed to command his lucidity then he would need to be awake for that. 

Jaskier woke around four hours later, deep in the night. Geralt had first started to notice him stirring when the man started squirming into his chest, reattaching his hold on the witcher's shirt as soon as he was aware. He whimpered at the bard’s need to hold on, still not believing that he would stay. There was no one else in the heat room now but he could hear two of the witcher’s outside standing guard. It was customary that this room, where witcher’s came to be their most vulnerable, was guarded at all times when they went through their various cycles. 

“Jask, pretty bard. I’m here.” He cooed, hoping to ease him out of his rest, clearly the man had needed it. 

“...alpha…” Jaskier mumbled, sleepily finding his morning voice. 

He’s talking to us. 

Mate wants us

Mate wants to share heat with us 

Comfort mate 

Provide for mate 

Water

Food 

Need to make him healthy again 

“I’m here, Jask. It's alright. Will you look at me? Can you do that for me?” Jaskier’s face was tucked under Geralt’s chin with the witcher nearly on top of him, trapping him against the nest. Geralt lifted his head to look at the bard but found his fists held fast in the witcher's shirt. 

“Don’t leave, please don’t leave.” His voice whispered and he made no move to look at Geralt. 

“I’m not, not leaving. Never leaving. I’m right here Jask. Come on, look at me.” He let his chest purr, vibrating comfort against his mate. Jaskier continued to hold on but did lift his head. 

His eyes were dry for the moment, his expression was one of awe or non-belief. He didn’t really understand that Geralt was here now, that he was helping him. It was clear from the twinge of pain that he was still hurting but with what Yennefer had said about his messed up cycle Geralt was hesitant to try to give him any herbs. The cramps would ease with more water and he suspected the headache would too. Scent marking would help bring the heat sickness down as well. 

“There you are. Precious omega, thank you, letting me look at you. Good job.” He heard Jaskier whimper at the words, not quite a noise of contentment or happiness but it was better than the pained or scared sounds he was making. 

“We’re going to eat now, you’re going to let me feed you.” Geralt made his tone firm but gentle. Jaskier was in an extremely fragile headspace right now and he needed to minimize his brashness. After spending so many mating cycles with his own pack, providing comfort and letting them comfort him, he knew how to handle this. 

When Eskel went into his first heat, he told no one, choosing to suffer alone rather than accept help from the pack. Geralt had been the one to pull him back from heat sickness. It had taken the whole pack to convince him that he was not a burden to them for taking up space in the nesting room.

 Geralt knew that this went deeper than simple insecurities. To go so far as to have Yen cloak his scent from them, it was honestly terrifying at how planned out this self inflicted isolation was. It scared him for the next one. They had never spent their cycles together and now he was terrified of leaving the bard alone for the next one. Jaskier had always requested they split up when he was close to his heat, meeting back up later in the month. He wondered how many times Jaskier had spent his mating cycle like this, alone and terrified in the corner of a random inn somewhere unfamiliar with no one to help him. 

His heart clenched painfully at the thought, the image of Jaskier curled up at the end of his bed popping back into his head unprompted. 

Geralt reached behind him to the tray of food and picked out one of the pears there. Jasker squirmed again at the movement, holding on tighter but not saying anything. He went to ask if Jaskier would feel more comfortable eating on his own but considering the man had literally not let go of him since he was found, he thought better of it. 

“Here, you deserve to eat sweet things.” Stated like a fact to leave no room for argument. Jaskier still looked like he didn’t believe him, his eyes flicking between Geralt and the fruit in his hand. 

“I- I Geralt. I stole it from you. I can’t…” He pushed his face back into Geralt’s chest in clear shame. Feeling like he had betrayed his mate in some way. 

“No.” Geralt growled in correction. 

“I stole it. I took it because you needed it. Little bard, I stole it for you.” Geralt let a pleased purr out when the shame washed out of Jaskier. It wasn’t exactly true but in taking the blame from Jaskier, it would be easier to calm him down and get him to eat. 

“Would you eat what I got for you?” He purred again, coaxing the other man into letting him take care of him. He was pleased when Jaskier gave a small, unsure nod. Geralt held the fruit up to his lips with one hand and used the other to hold his jaw upright properly. His gaze was passive, watching carefully to make sure nothing went wrong. 

“Thank you. Jaskier, my pretty bard.” He caught the slight chirp the other man let out, a pleased noise at the reassurance. Geralt let himself purr to encourage things like that. Jaskier bit into the pear, the crunch of it harsh after both their soothing voices but it didn’t stop him. 

Geralt let himself smile lightly as Jaskier watched him over the fruit. He was looking for a sign to stop, for something that he had done wrong and for a reason to apologize. Geralt would only give him reason to keep going. He let his scent fill with pride and contentment to tell the other how well he was doing and that there was nothing wrong here. 

Jaskie’s own scent was noticeably better, the panic and pain easing slightly and the distress dissipating since yesterday. It was an encouraging sign, one that made Geralt’s heart seize with affection for the man in front of him. 

Jaskier continued eating, looking to Geralt often for signs that he should stop. Any time Geralt thought he might he would purr and tell him to take more. It was clear he was very hungry and the more he got him to eat the better. He was glad that the fruit was dry, less messy to clean up. But he would admit that watching Jaskier lick the little juice the pear held off his lips was pleasing. He placed the cleaned core back onto the tray, away from the other food. He grabbed the waterskin again and held it up to Jaskier’s lips. The bard took it and drank again, accepting the care with little question now. 

He still hadn’t said much and Geralt didn’t expect him to. After nearly four days of non-stop pain he was clearly coming down from his heat now and with what he had suffered through Geralt expected Jaskier to spend most of his time sleeping and eating and then the rest would be scent marking and comforting. The lack of arousal was worrying for health related reasons but they would talk about that once Jaskier was more lucid. He suspected that even after his heat was over the bard wouldn’t want to leave the nest for a while.

 Vesemir rarely entered the room other than to scent items or provide care for particularly harsh mating cycles. Geralt suspected that any examination would be taking place in the nesting room. That was fine, once the wave of witcher's cycles started it would be a domino effect, the heady scents triggering the others. Usually this wasn’t an issue but with Jaskier like this, other people in the room might be an issue. Hopefully this would be over soon and if anyone did start, they could use the other nesting room for now. 

“Do you think you could drink some broth?” Jaskier still hadn’t let go of him as Geralt pulled the water skin back. Getting a good amount of liquid in him was good but he would need something more substantial. The broth wasn’t great but it was a good start. 

“Did- did you steal that too?” Geralt hummed before speaking, a small appreciation for hearing the bard’s voice. 

“No little bard. Yennefer left it for you.” He seemed to perk up at the name of is friend and then this look came over him. Realization and then panic. His hand still gripped Geralt’s shirt but he started pushing away. 

“Yen. you- she won’t like this. Your mate- she’s- she, Geralt- Alpha- she. You have to find her- you-” Tears pricked in his eyes again and Geralt let himself rumble and purr until Jaskier’s tears choked off his own words. He didn’t let Jaskier pull away, breaking skin to skin contact wasn’t an option. 

“Little bard, sh sh. You’re alright. Yennefer is not my mate. She knows where we are, that we are safe.” He cooed, pulling one of Yen’s furs over Jaskier’s chest to let her scent get to him. 

“She offered us her furs for your nest. She brought you food to help with your heat.” Jaskier seemed to relax at that, his eyes flicking back and forth between Geralt’s. 

“She’s- shes not? But she said-” Geralt held Jaskier closer to him, forcing his nose into Geralt’s neck to relax him. 

“She said what, little bard?” He purred in contentment at the content and felt Jaskier’s tensed muscles relax one by one. He had made no comment about being trapped or feeling unsafe since he had woken so Geralt continued to cage him against the wall of the nest. 

“She- she said… she was going to share you’re- you’re den. She was… I'm sorry, thank you for staying.” Fuck he was supplicating again. Geralt would never stop him from apologizing, at this point it was a method of self soothing during his fawning response and Geralt didn’t want Jaskier to start feeling shame whenever it would eventually slip out. 

“It’s alright. Jaskier, Yennefer is my pack, just like you. She is not my mate, we don’t share a den. You are the only one welcome in my den.” He stroked at the back of Jaskier’s head, playing with the bard’s hair in repetitive motions. He felt Jaskier shift closer, pressing his nose to Geralt scent glands, trying to drown in the scent. 

“Ok- ok. Y-you let me in your den?” Geralt purred at his bard’s more willingness to speak. Even if he could feel the scent drunk bard started to slip back into unconsciousness. He wanted to get more into him first before then but he could answer this question and then bring up drinking broth again.  

“Yes, you are always welcome in my den, I have nest materials for you there.” There was a happily trill form his bard that delighted him even if it was quietly stifled. He hoped that was an accident and not that Jaskier was purposefully stifling the sounds of his contentment. 

“You do?” 

“Yes little bard. My pretty omega, I bet you’d build the prettiest nests for us. Spending so much time making it look perfect.” He felt Jaskier kitten lick at his scent glands humming as the contentment and pride in Geralt’s scent filled his mouth. 

“i-I’ve um. I’ve not made a nest before…” He felt the bard’s whole body tense in his arms, as if admitting this simple thing would lead to more harm or harsh words. The only thing on Geralt’s mind was what. 

Mate… doesn’t nest? 

Hasn’t nested 

We will make a nest for our mate 

Our job to provide safety and comfort 

We will nest for our mate

More than anything he was desperate to know why he hadn’t nested before. Had his parents not taught him? Even if they hadn't, wasn't it an instinctual thing for him, the way that hoarding nesting material was instinctual for alphas and betas? Something else to talk about after all of this was over. There were so many questions and very little of it that Jaskier could answer like this. 

“I’ll make you the perfect nest for our den.” Geralt huffed out, a commitment making no room for compromise. 

“Ok Geralt. C-can I have uhm. Can I have the broth now?” His voice tapered off at the end, expecting not to be granted this. Geralt only purred and chuffed reassurance, continuing to stroke at Jaskier’s head and play with his hair. 

“Can you sit up for me little bard?” Jaskier held tighter and didn’t answer, seemingly already regretting his decision. 

“We’ll sit you in my lap so you can eat. I won’t let go at all alright? Then we will lay down again.” 

“Just like this?” He gave another small lick to Geralt’s neck. 

“Yes, pretty bard. I told you, I’m not moving.” He felt Jaskier nod and he began to move, pulling the bard up with him so that they were not sitting across from each other. With the space between them he could see the messed up hair and red face of his tapered off fever. Clearly the body heat and nest was helping, that was good. Jaskier’s hands still didn't leave his shirt, now they were nearly fully extended as Jaskier leaned over both of their crossed legs to try to get closer again. 

He looked torn between having his back to Geralt and keeping his hands on him. 

Mate thinks we will leave 

“Here, you stay like this and eat. You won't have to turn your back to me or let go.” Jaskier seemed to accept this decision. Geralt felt a small tug on his shirt as he reached over the nest wall to get the bowl of broth and a spoon. He grabbed the handkerchief that was there too, knowing Jaskier liked to eat cleanly. 

He placed the bowl in Jaskier’s lap, the bard took one hand off to hold his spoon but still didn’t let go. Geralt didn’t mind. This process was similar to the pear, Jaskier would eat and frequently check in with Geralt to see if he was doing something wrong. This was a learned behavior Geralt quickly realised. Jaskier was expecting punishment for eating even after Geralt had asked him to. It made keeping his anger in check difficult. Whatever worthless piece of shit that had spent Jaskier’s heat with him before this had done this to him. Conditioned him into a fetishised ideal of an omega that grated against his personality so harshly it could only come out when he was in his most vulnerable state. 

He alpha raged under his skin, thoughts about tearing apart the person who had done this. It was made easier by the sight of a beautiful man in front of him, actively letting himself be taken care of. It made his alpha preen and whine happily at the idea that he was serving such a wonderful omega. 

“Thank you, good omega, taking what your mate provides.” There was another low whimper from the bard the joy didn’t show on his face but his scent was lightening. Wildflowers and honey and almonds and cinnamon. Geralt would know it anywhere, could pick it out over the scent of busy towns and bloodied streets. 

Mate. 

Jaskier continued to eat in silence and Geralt continued to reassure him and thank him for eating. His hands rested on the bard’s legs, grounding him while they were apart from each other. 

The constant praise seemed to be helping. It was an unusual comfort, not something that he knew many others to enjoy during their heat as it could often come off as condescending but It seemed Jaskier took comfort in the reassurance that he was doing something right. After spending so much time spiralling, what he was muttering to himself when they found him, it was clear why this might be helping. It’s not as if it was a hardship for the witcher, as far as he had seen he had been far too limited with the compliments and reassurance with his bard. 

Jaskier managed to finish the entire bowl, Geralt let out another proud purr as the bard put the bowl back down in his lap. Geralt took it out of his hands along with the spoon and placed it by the pear core on the tray. When he turned back Jaskier was cleaning his mouth with the handkerchief. Once done, Geralt took that too and put it away. Then in fulfilment of his promise he laid back down and opened his arms for Jaskier to tuck into him. 

The bard did exactly that, clutching at the collar of Geralt’s shirt again and allowing the larger man to crush him under his weight. 

“Keep you safe under me. No one can touch you here little bard.” Jaskier gave another soft lick to Geralt’s scent gland and then he started to purr. A quiet rumble that was choppy from disuse. It made Geralt wonder if the bard had ever made such a noise. If this was how he had spent his heats… Geralt nuzzled closer, purring back with pride and contentment. Soft protective growls slipped from his throat and he felt Jaskier shiver in his hands as he drifted to sleep once again. 

Geralt continued his soothing routine, petting and marking his hair and neck. Holding the bard close as he kept him safe from any perceived threats. He let his hand drift the Jaskier’s stomach, feeling the hard muscle and unusual leanness that came from too little food. He hoped the broth and fruit were a good start to much healthier eating habits. Something primal in him was thrilled at the opportunity to keep his mate satisfied and healthy. Getting him the food he deserves and getting to enjoy taking care of him. He purred louder. His alpha sated in a way it hadn’t been for a long time.

After the mountain it had been a struggle to even agree on anything, snappy and irritated constantly, well more than usual. Nearly everything it did was impulsive and punishing. His ruts hadn’t been this bad since the trials. He spent most of them feeling cold and alone. Collecting nesting material but not able to bring himself to actually build one. Then his alpha would whine about the lack of a certain man in his den, how Jaskier needed to be there to comfort him. 

He is a little relieved that he won't have to go through that again and even more relieved to be able to take a similar burden from his bard. 

“My bard, I will keep you safe.” He nuzzled into Jaskier’s hair breathing in his scent, looking for the notes of contentment and safety over and over again. He would continue to do that until he found it. 

What mate should smell like 

Content 

Safe 

Warm 

Happy 

Sated 

Geralt let himself smile into Jaskier’s hair and take another deep breath. 

It was morning when Jaskier woke up the next time. Eskel had dropped by in the night to take away the tray and replace it with more water and a few more fruits. No one had any idea how long Jaskier’s heat would last and even after that Geralt was sure that they would be spending more than just his heat here. He could tell by the slight trickle of containment in his scent that Jaskier had started to finally feel safe and he wasn’t going to take that away just because his heat had ended. 

Eskel had let him know that two witchers had started their cycles and the other nesting room had been prepared. The rolling wave of witchers in their mating cycle was beginning, but he wasn’t worried. Jaskier was coming down from his and it would be a while before they would have need for a second nesting room. What did worry him were the numerous conversations they would have to have. At least they could do it in the safety of a nest. Once Jaskier felt more comfortable with a little space he would try to encourage the man to lean into his nesting instinct, if not then he would take over and ensure it was safe and comfortable for them. 

“Geralt…?” His voice was hoarse from crying and weak with stress but still there, still Jaskier’s. 

“Morning. How are you feeling?” He sounded more lucid but Geralt couldn’t be sure.

“I- oh… you saw all that huh?” Jaskier hadn’t pulled away and Geralt was counting that as a win. Shame and fear started to creep back into his scent and the last vestiges of his heat were tapering off with the morning light. 

“How are you feeling, Jaskier?” He wasn’t going to feed into the shame Jaskier was feeling. He kept his tone soft, letting his chest purr with warmth at his mate’s voice. 

“Better, uhm… better I think. St-still shaky but I think that’s more the dehydration than the… heat.” Geralt leaned behind him to grab the water skin and felt Jaskier suck in a breath, reaching out to hold tighter. Still believing that Geralt will leave him. 

“Would you drink some more water?” Geralt lifted his head and chest off of the man under him and uncorked the waterskin. 

“You- you don’t have to do this anymore. I- it’s over now…” Something of disappointment filled his voice as much as he tried to hide it. Geralt held the waterskin up to Jaskier’s mouth again and leaned down to nose at the back of his ear, purring directly against his ear now. 

“I’m not leaving, it’s not over yet, not if you’re still shaky. Even when it is, I'm not leaving.” He took a deep breath as Jaskier began to drink again. 

“I’ve made that mistake, little bard. I won’t make it again.” He growled protectively before taking the waterskin back once Jaskier was done. 

“You- I don’t understand. You wanted nothing to do with me for two years…” Geralt held him closer as he said the next part. The important part. Carding his hands through Jaskier’s hair and pressing his chest back down onto Jaskier. Again crowding him against the wall and floor. He was rewarded with a happy chirp as Jaskier tucked himself closer in response. 

“Jaskier. I was a terrible friend to you. You were the light of my life for so long the possibility of your absence terrified me. So I scared you away, I thought I was saving myself. Selfishly forcing you out of my life so that I wouldn’t have to experience the pain that would come with you leaving on your own.” Jaskier let him speak, focusing on the warm rumble of word though his chest and taking in every syllable as if it were the law itself. 

“I was wrong. Jaskier, my primal has been torn since that day..” He felt Jaskier seize up but he kept talking. 

“We are lost without you my little bard.” 

“...Geralt…” His voice was breathless, the pain was still there but it felt lessoned now, muted by the contact and the time spent together.

“M-my heats got worse a-afterward… I- my omega blamed me for it. We haven’t been in sync since. I mean my heats have never been great but it was nothing like the last two years, i-I think I know how you feel my friend.” 

“You shouldn’t. It is my fault, all of it, what I blamed you for and everything after. It’s my fault…” Geralt buried his nose back behind Jaskier’s ear, breathing in his scent now that the cramps had subsided and his panic had dissipated somewhat. 

“...Geralt… You um you called me your… mate? A few- well a bit ago.” Geralt chuffed, grinning against his ear and licking coyly. Jaskier shivered and tucked closer, gripping harder to the same place he had barely left alone since yesterday. 

“My… primal has been disconnected from me. Whining about you for years, when I found you I lost control a little bit. He- we were too worried about you to watch our wording.” The implication was clear. 

“But thats- what you call me… in your head at least.” Geralt smiled again, giving another small scenting lick. 

“Yes, It’s why we were so broken after we betrayed you. We will never do that again.” 

Yes!

Comfort mate!

Tell mate! 

Claim

Claim 

Claim 

“Geralt-” 

“I’m so sorry Jaskier…” Geralt hugged him tighter, winding his hands around the other man with a vice grip. He felt himself shake with the emotions pooling in his head, the need to make his mate understand how devastatingly sorry he was. He felt more than herd Jaskier sigh into him. Finally, Finally, contentment filtering into his scent. Another soft tapering purr gave a false start and then tapered off but it had happened. 

It was clear that giving positive subvocals was a new thing to him. Another thing that made Geralt’s heart clench. 

“I- I know you probably have a lot of accusatory questions, but um- I’m enjoying this and I don’t want it to end just yet. Can you…” 

“Go back to sleep Jask, I’ll be here when you wake and as long as you want me after that.” He felt the flat pink tongue flick out over his neck for just a second. Jaskier’s small claim to his skin makes his alpha whine and howl with delight. 

Geralt joined him in rest this time, comfortably cooing them both into a nice dreamless sleep. Just like a good alpha should. His own primal was absolutely preening at this. It was the first time he felt connected to the other in years, finally sated and comfortable rather than a battle for every decision. Instincts finally aligning correctly and allowing him to feel his role to his mate rather than having to ignore false starts. 

Like a breath of fresh air. 

Jaskier woke before Geralt this time. Finally feeling rested enough to wake on his own with some comfortability. The heated press of his mate against his chest, the soft wall of pillows at his back and under him made him feel completely cut off from the rest of the world. Protected and safe. Geralt had him completely boxed in, a stark contrast to his first days of heat. 

Mate 

Said we were mates

Wants our calm 

Wants us 

Keeping us safe

Feeding us

Nesting for us 

His primal ran wild, something akin to instincts clicking into place as he cuddled closer to the other man. His scent was warm and safe, familiar in a way that Jaskier hadn’t known in years. His cramps had ended sometime yesterday and his headache was lessening with the water and food Geralt had gotten for him. 

He tried not to think about the state they had found him in. He had been pretty out of it at the time but there were still those terrified witcher gold eyes staring down at him as large hands invaded his space. He had been so sure they brought pain with them, the strong scent of alpha making him shake with the expectation of hurt and unwanted touch. 

His omega had been so preoccupied with punishing him that he hadn’t even realised who it was, then he remembered the rough scratch of cotton in his fist for hours as his omega begged him not to let go. Sure that the moment he did Geralt would slip through his fingers like so many alphas he had spent his heat with before. Gone as soon as they had gotten their fill. 

After that things had gotten clearer, the whirlwind of pain became the soft cotton and yarn of the hastily made nest. Not that he could complain, having never made a proper nest in his life. 

His head was currently tucked under Geralt’s chin, his nose grazing against the other man’s collar bone while his hands fisted his shirt. Geralt’s rumbling purr was softer in his sleep but nothing less than comforting. Jaskier leaned in, letting his tongue lick out at the pale skin. He savored the salt and scents, doing it again and again. He laved at Geralt’s neck and collar with small kisses and licks. 

His omega was preening at this small claim. It felt right. He caught his throat trying to imitate the cooing purr that came so easily to his mate. It was harsh and rough but it got better the more he relaxed, let it come to him rather than trying to force himself. 

“...Jask…” The witcher’s voice was gravely with sleep as he woke to the soft tongue on his neck. Jaskier felt himself purr louder, it caught him by surprise. The startle shook him out of it, his purr tapering off into a grinding whimper and then nothing. He frowned, sighing as he realised that he really did not have this down yet. 

“Morning Geralt…” Geralt immediately picked up on his dejected tone. 

“Hm… what’s wrong little bard.” He didn’t move, thoroughly enjoying the small tongue bath his bard was giving him. Of course they would need to actually bathe him soon but that was less important than his comfort and safety. Besides, the fresh water was just on the other side of the room and it could wait. 

“I don’t think I've got this whole purring thing down just yet.” Geralt nuzzled into the other’s hair as comfort before speaking back. 

“It will come to you. Yennefer said that so much distress during your heat has likely messed with your cycle. I think it can be assumed that things like that are likely to happen. We’ll talk about it with her and Vesemir.” Jaskier whimpered at that, clearly there was more than he was saying. 

“I um- you wouldn’t be too upset if I told you this was… nothing new right?” Geralt immediately growled and held the bard closer. He had suspected it but hearing the way Jaskier told him. Like it was something to be ashamed of, like he was the one to blame for it. 

“I wouldn’t be upset with you.” He tried to relax again but his anger was a raging fury now. He wanted names and addresses. As soon as winter was over he knew exactly what kind of monsters he would be hunting and it would be a hunt. The type of person you would have to be in order to break someone as resilient as Jaskier… it made his blood boil, skin hot and prickled with the urge to drive his sword through thick flesh until there was nothing left but red viscera and the stench of unwanted remains. 

“I think it's probably time we have that long overdue conversation now… don’t you?” Geralt leaned in, giving another soft lick to Jaskiser’s ear and then his cheek and nose. Jaskier’s face scrunched wonderfully at the action and he chuckled softly. 

“Do you want to sit up for this? I still want you to eat more.” 

“Well to do that you’ll have to get off me, silly witcher.” Geralt huffed but continued purring as he pulled off, letting Jaskier sit up. He did notice that Jaskier’s hands, while dropping from his shirt, still rested on his leg. A physical reminder that Geralt was still here and not going anywhere. It was certainly no hardship for Geralt. His alpha was reveling in having the bard so physical with him after so long without his casual affections. 

“I’m not leaving Jaskier. I’ve told you. I’ll tell you again… until you believe me.” Jaksier’s hand clenched, tightening in the fabric of his pants. He looked like he was trying not to wince too hard at the words. Geralt realized how likely it was that those exact words had been said to him over and over again, now the only thing his bard could do in the face of them was try not to cry. 

“I want you to tell me everything.” The other looked like he might protest but Geralt cut him off. 

“Jaskier, everything. I know I don’t deserve your trust and I’m sorry I took the choice of who you would have wished to spend your heat with. But as your friend… As your mate . I need to know.” Jaskier’s eyes flicked to him with the word. Eyes shining with unspoken words and heartfelt sobs. Geralt let his hand fall over Jaskier’s, trapping it in a fist where it lay. Another silent reminder that he wasn’t going anywhere. 

“As if I would have wanted anyone else.” Was all the bard could manage. The words sounded harsh in his mouth. But Geralt was patient, he could wait for his word smith to find the right syllables and craft his tale however he liked. He knew the bard long enough to know when he was hiding things, a skill he knew no one else had managed. 

“C-can we eat before I bore you with my lackluster stories of unsatisfying heats?” Geralt squeezed his hand and reached back toward the fresh tray of food for his waterskin and another piece of fruit. Jaskier tenses when he sees it but says nothing this time. Clearly that initial reaction was not a one time thing. 

“Drink first.” That seemed to distract him enough to calm down marginally. In a familiar motion Geralt held the water skin up for him but Jaskier pulled away. 

“You know, I- I can do this myself. My hands are… free now.” Geralt frowned at this, his alpha whining that their mate wasn’t accepting their offering. So to correct this Geralt snatched Jaskier’s other hand, holding them both against this leg where the first had been. Jaskier looked startled but not scared by the action. 

“They’re busy.” He growled and held up the waterskin again. Jaskier rolled his eyes but began to drink. Lapping at the drips that fell. He took more in now that he was more lucid, Geralt smiled at the small attempt to prolong the next part. Eventually Geralt pulled it away, recorking it and setting it back down on the tray. 

He held an apple in his hands, keeping Jaskier’s hands still trapped. He was going to take every liberty that Jaskier allowed him. Providing, feeding, protecting, comforting. Geralt had never felt more full-hearted in his life. 

“You tense when offered fruit specifically.” Geralt observed allowed, it was one way to start the conversation and they both knew how he had reacted the first time he had offered it. 

“Yes well, you wanted to know everything, as you’ve said, so here is my long and very depressing tale. Honestly Geralt you should have just asked me to sing about it, at least then I’d enjoy it-” 

“Jaskier…” Geralt squeezed his hands again. His grip was not restricting, it was closer to resting on top of Jaskier’s hands than anything but the bard hadn’t moved them, relishing in the small connection and intimate nature of the touch. Tongue bathes aside, it was nice, sitting close in a nest made for them. Geralt’s attention on him and him alone, feeding and holding him after what would have been the worst heat he might have ever had. 

“Right yes fine… look a lot of what I am going to say is… unsavory at best. So you’re going to have to keep your murderous rage to a minimum…” 

“We should get Vesemir for this.” Immediately the panic set it. Geralt watched as Jaskier’s relaxed expression, even some of that confiance returning disappearing an instant. 

“No! No. Please. A-alpha…” What. Why is he using that tone? Geralt cringed at the use of his designation as a play to his ego. The fawning, the supplication, it made him want to return to curling himself around his mate and purring him into comfort. 

Mate thinks of us as a threat 

Mate thinks we will harm him 

“Jaskier… my pretty bard. Look at me.” He dropped his voice back into the coaxing soft tone. One to tell him that he was not making a decision, not leaving him in the dark or leaving him at all for that matter. Jaskier’s dropped eyes slowly met his, there was still something worried in them but he seemed to realise his own fawning. His own correction would be healthier than anything Geralt could say. 

“I won’t if you don’t want me to. But if what Yen says is right, I think it would be useful for them to hear it. Yen at least, if not Vesemir.” Jaskier relaxed when he heard that option. It made sense considering they were much closer than Jaskier and Geralt’s mentor. 

“O-ok. Yen can… listen in, if she must. A-and I’m sorry… for alphing you.” 

“I’m not embarrassed of my designation, It’s not the one I would have chosen but I’ve learned to live with it. I do take issue with you using it as a method of placing yourself below me as a way to … play to my ego. I don’t like that you think you need to manipulate me into listening to you.” He let his thumb drag over the back of Jaskier’s hand, providing his own form of supplication. Pleading with Jaskier to start respecting himself. 

“Yes I can see why that wouldn’t exactly work on you.” He laughed awkwardly and waited for Geralt to get up to move and get Yennefer. 

“Relax, pretty mate. I see you tenseing again.” Geralt leaned over Jaskier’s folded legs to nose behind his ear, putting the apple down to cup at the back of his head. 

“Y-you can’t exactly blame me… this is all very new.” Jaskier leaned into the touch, accepting any and all physical contact after such intense isolation. 

“I’m not leaving. I will call for Yen after you eat from right here. Protecting my mate from anything that would hurt him.” Geralt whispered in shushed tones, letting his purr seep into his voice. He enjoyed the slight shiver that crawled up Jaskier’s spine and the small whine he let out. 

“Fiiine, yes Geralt. I will relent to your apparent need to bully me into eating.” Before he could say another word Geralt held the apple up for him but didn’t move away from resting his head on Jaskier’s shoulder. Now shifting down to give small licks to his neck. 

“And I’ll keep doing it. It's my job.” He listened to the smallest happy trill he’d ever heard with rapt attention as Jaskier finally started eating. He let himself purr as he continued his ministrations to the other’s neck and shoulder. Pulling his shirt out of the way in order to access more skin. Jaskier’s purr was jerky and seemed to stop and start when he thought about it too hard, but now with his mind distracted with eating it was smoother. A small steadier rumble that rang out through his chest 

Geralt busied himself helping Jaskier contine that noise of delight, occasionally turning the apple so Jaskier could continue to eat. He whispered small things to him as encouragement. ‘Good mate’, ‘pretty bard’, ‘thank you for eating for me’. 

Once finished he set the core back on the table and let Jaskier dap his mouth with a wet handkerchief. 

“Guess it’s time then… although I’m not exactly sure what all you want me to explain. And I can’t imagine it will even make sense.” Jaskier was starting to panic now, already missing Geralt’s head on his shoulder as the other man leaned away to put the core down. 

“Jask, it doesn’t have to make sense. I’ll take care of asking the questions, you just have to answer them.” Jaskier sighed at his words, something of relief starting to creep over him. Geralt was reassuring but there was still some panic to the bard. 

“Ok. You can get Yen now. I think I’m ok to do that.” Geralt dragged kept his hand over Jaskier’s, it clearly pleased the other and he was going to do his best to make this the easiest it could be for the startled bard. 

“Bard.” Yen said with her false coldness as she stepped into the room. It was nice for Jaskier to be treated like an equal still, despite the frankly humiliating situation he was in. To which no one thought it was humiliating except for him. 

“Witch.” Jasier bit back, the same playfulness covered by a sarcastic eye roll. He didn’t know what he was expecting but he was glad that neither of them were really coddling him. Geralt had only been reassuring rather than condescending and Yennefer was as comfortingly consistent as she always was. 

“Where do you want me?” That did startle him. The nest was big enough for the three of them and it would be acceptable, even expected for him to welcome someone he saw as pack into it. But he didn’t want that. He wanted Yennefer to be a witness rather than an active participant. Some part of him called out to feel her scent of his skin as well but not in the way he wanted Geralt’s. 

“Come and sit by the edge here. I um- don’t think I can handle you in the nest just yet.” It was hard for him to accept another presence, even one in his pack, inside his nest without feeling on edge. Maybe in a nest he and Geralt had built it would be different but as of now, it was iffy. 

“Makes sense. Do you want me to scent mark you?” She asked so casually. It almost made his chest ache with how much he wished he could feel that casual about it. Give and recessive that comfort and claim so freely. 

“Yes, an-and thank you for the furs. I can imagine your bed is much colder without them.” He tried to joke as Yen ran her hand along the back of his neck and cupped his cheek. Her hand didn’t linger, and she sat down just outside the nest wall. 

“I had Lambert fetch me more.” She said with a shrug. They went quiet after that, Jaskier not wanting to prompt anything to do with his current situation and Yennefer not exactly knowing how. 

“Jask…” Geralt's voice brought him back, his thumb dragging over the back of the bard's hand to ground him. 

“We’ll start small. Tell me how you prepared for your heat this week.” A simple question but one with a purpose. Geralt already suspected that this was not the first time he had done something similar. This would also allow him to pick at certain things to unravel further. The issue was that doing this would probably cause agitation and he didn’t want this to become an interrogation. That's part of the reason why he wanted a third party, to help explain or cut in when he started to get too much. 

“Ok- well when I realized that I was in pre-heat I got Yen to hide my scent so that it wouldn’t irritate you all. I know how sensitive witcher’s can be about bad smells so I wasn’t going to subject you all to that.” He speaks with a scoff in his voice as if it was the only obvious course of action. Geralt feels Yennefer tense beside him, feeling the blame rest on her shoulders. They could have known much sooner if she hadn’t but that was over now. There was really no point in accusing her now. 

“Jaskier, you are aware that the witchers all go through their cycles during winter right?” Yennefer cut in. 

“Well yes, obviously I assumed. But isn’t that even more reason? I mean it’s sort of distracting to have someone else in heat nearby. I mean I saw how you all recoiled when Yen took off the cloaking spell.” 

“Jaskier, we recoiled because you were in distress. You reeked of fear and self-loathing and pain. No one wants to see you like that.” Geralt reasoned, his tone exasperated at the possibility that Jaskier could think his heat scent would be so bad that it would aggravate the other witchers? 

“Well… that's how I always smell. Heat is a distressing time, of course I was scared, it’s terrifying.” Geralt just stared at him. It was always like this. Every. Single. One. Of. His. heats. All of them. Pain and suffering and isolation with no end in sight. 

“You- All of… Jaskier… tell me that's not true. Tell me you know that isn’t normal.” Geralt was bordering on pleading now. He could see Yennefer doing the same. 

“It’s- well how else is it supposed to work. I mean I know Lettenhove is a little bit traditional but the cramps and everything make it pretty clear what mating cycles are supposed to feel like.” Yennefer gasped from beside them at the name. 

“What? Yen?” They both turn to her. 

“You’re from Lettenhove. That explains so much.” Her eyes darted back and forth, unseeing. Like she was calculating something in her head. 

“Lettenhove, what about it?” Geralt growled, disliking that there was information about his mate he wasn’t privy to. 

“Geralt, how do you- ugh. Your obviousness astounds me sometimes. Of course that’s how you see mating cycles. It also explains the behavior when you feel threatened.” Yen’s voice tapered off as more things clicked into place. Geralt was getting more irritated now. 

“Geralt, Lettenhove is known for its abuse and degradation of omegas. Most of them don’t live past their thirties, having been beaten to death in the street or starving because no one will hire them. They teach that type of thing there. The whole alphas over omegas thing. Its one of the last safe havens for unworthy alphas and overzealous betas to go and be protected. It is a breeding ground for that type of filth.” Geralt wrinkled his nose in disgust, noting that he would be going to lettenhove very soon in order to pay many of those people a visit. 

“Jaskier, is this what heats were like there too?” Yennefer turned her attention back to the bard. Jaskier shifted uncomfortably but began to answer, keeping his promise to answer honestly. 

“I mean sort of. It wasn’t usually as cold, I normally go into heat during the summer or spring. But it was similar. At the manor we had some of the best accommodations in Lettenhove, I was told. Fresh water and food was fed to me.” Jaskier trailed off and Geralt prompted further. 

“Fed to you? By who?” 

“Oh whoever was on staff that day. With my hands tied It would be a little difficult to do that myself.” Geralt had to physically concentrate on not crushing the little bard’s hands in his. The anger bubbled up like bile in his gut until his head felt heavy with it. His fingers urged him to snap and tear at the monsters he was leaning about. 

“...you were… tied?  Why? What purpose did that… serve.” Yennefer’s breathless shock told him it was likely she didn’t want to know the answer. He almost didn’t either. 

“Well- you know I’m a bit of a scamp, couldn’t have me ruining my virginity for my first heat. It’s also why I assumed they didn’t let anyone else in, fearing I might seduce them.” Geralt was shaking now, he could feel every muscle tense and intense. How could Jaskier just brush this off. Such a blatant violation of his will and body. To be tied up during an intensely fragile state and left alone until someone fed you while no doubt writhing in agony from heat sickness. It was no wonder omegas didn’t live very long there. That must be intensely unhealthy.

“H-how long did you stay in lettenhove?” Yennefer was leading the conversation more than he was and he was suddenly very grateful that there were more people than just him that Jaskier trusted. 

“I was there until I was sixteen I think. Vowed after that to never go back once I got out.” Jaskier seemed proud of that and Geralt couldn’t deny he was also exceedingly happy that the man had gotten out of there. He grasped onto how impressive it was that his mate had survived all of this and was still standing, trying to distract himself from the anger. 

“Good, don’t go back.” Jaskier smiled at that, fondness and a slight chirp in his throat. 

“That almost only happens in Lettenhove and other traditional places. What did you do when you got out? You said you’d never nested before, didn’t you use heat rooms?” Geralt asked urgently, that same feeling of dreading the answer washing over him. 

“Heat rooms? No absolutely not, I just told you how horribly that went, I wasn’t going to throw myself back in. I spent my heats alone after that. Sometimes I could convince someone to help me through it for the right price but… well…” He looked down at his lap again, shame evident on his face and in his scent. 

“What Jask. You really shouldn’t be ashamed here, I mean you should have seen my mating cycles when I was young. You really can’t beat that and what’s been done to you doesn’t count.” Yennefer reassured. It seems to be enough to comfort him for now. 

“It’s no secret that I am loud for an omega, not exactly the type of person you want to spend all day and night doting on. Not that I blame them, but usually the alpha or omega or beta I would convince would just take care of what they thought I was asking for.” Geralt felt a little sick. ‘For an omega’ what does that even mean? Omegas were supposed to be loud, they were supposed to be anything. That's how people work, there is no wrong way to have a second gender. 

“Jaskier, first of all. That's horrifying. All of that. Secondly, that's not how the world works. The whole world doesn’t operate in a demented knotheaded alpha’s power fantasy. There is no such thing as ‘for an omega’.” Jaskier laughed slightly at that. It’s like he didn’t even realise how deeply ingrained his father's projections onto him were. He stopped when the disgusted shiver ran up his spine. 

“I know, I’ve been trying to get over it but it’s a little difficult. I mean it’s the only thing I was taught as a child. Heats just seem to bring out the worst of it, especially after…” He trailed off but Geralt didn’t need him to answer. They both knew exactly how the mountain had destroyed them. It wasn’t worth saying again. 

“So what did you do for heat on your own? Forget about the assholes who didn’t help you, what do you do normally?” Yennefer pushed again. Geralt put one of his hands on Jaskier’s forearm now, the other still holding his hands in place. He pushed his thumb into the skin in comforting circles, trying to keep the other man grounded. 

“I’ll normally book a room for four days, stock up on food, water, and pain killers. Then just ride it out. Some are better than others, I get that classic heat hazy arousal sometimes but not unless I feel particularly safe. There’s never enough material for a nest and I don’t exactly have room to carry all of that bedding during my travels.” The picture was being painted clearer now. Jaskier had fallen into his usual routine of hiding himself away from the world, he might not even realise how strange that was to the other two. 

“So that's what I did here too. It was supposed to be fine, I had enough food for the heat but I think seeing Geralt again set off my primal something fierce. I was- you’ll laugh at this. I was trying to move the chest in front of the door to make it safer. When I couldn’t move it my omega freaked out and I was already in the thick of it. I don't think I moved for days. I was so scared.” Geralt couldn’t take it any more. He yanked Jaksier into his lap, scooping up the small bard and pressing his head into his neck. 

His own primal was whimpering and he could hear his vocal cords betray that. He wrapped his arms around the other man protectively as he nosed at his hair. His hands moved to mark the bard on any open skin he could find, trying to force a comforting purr through the devastation he felt at hearing those words. His mate should never feel that way, would never feel that way again. He wouldn’t allow it. He could hear Yennefer cooing beside them, her subvocals joining the two’s as they sat there for a moment. 

“Ok, maybe not as funny as I thought it would be.” Jaskier finally said, his face buried in Geralt’s chest now as he accepted the comfort. 

“No, not very funny. But you’re not going to like the next part either.” Yen ventured, starting to lean into the genuine health concerns they both had. Yennefer had no doubt been talking with Vesemir and Geralt was hopeful that any damage to the bard’s cycle could be fixed soon. He didn’t want his mate to spend the rest of his life dreading his heats and having to suffer through them.   

“Right, you said it’s not supposed to be like that.” 

“No pretty bard. But Yen thinks there is a way to help.” Geralt provided. His attention is still mostly on comforting his bard. 

“I don’t exactly care about bearing children. I know it's likely I’m completely infertile at this point so if that's the route you’re going, you can fuck off. I’m not interested in being some random person’s broodmare.” Jaskier huffed much to the continued disgust of the other two in the room. How could they have known Jaskier for so long and not know this is how he thought the second genders worked. 

“We want to lessen the pain you feel, the fear and anxiety that comes with your cycle. You think we give a shit about whether or not you can have children. We’re both sterile anyway.” Geralt growled, trying to force that view onto him. He was almost in disbelief that Jaskier had this view of himself. It made sense from where he came from but to view himself like this insane. 

“Oh, that would be great. The less pain the better, I mean I can take the suppressants as much as I like but they don’t really help with the pain. Uh- what would it involve...” He peaked up to speak to Yennefer. Still letting Geralt hold him, but now looking at the witch. 

“We’d clear your system and then immediately send you back into heat, this time with proper care and comfort. A proper heat, nesting instincts and everything. After that you might need another healing sleep but as long as you keep up taking proper care during your cycle you should be fine. It might take a couple of proper heats like that before they start to become more normal but it should work. I only wish we had caught it sooner.” Jaskier frowned when she mentioned they would need to put him back into heat again. 

“I would need to do a proper heat, whatever that means.” Geralt began to purr, finding it easier now that the talks of his mate in pain were mostly over. He made sure to put his throat to Jaskier’s shoulder to let him feel it better. 

“We will explain everything to you. It would be similar to this but the pack would be there too. You’ll have a chance to meet them beforehand too. Anything and everything you need I’ll be there to provide, I won’t even leave your side.” Jaskier chirped at this, his choppy purr coming back for a little before dissipating. His scent was more content now, even a little excited as he thought about a week spent with Geralt comforting him like yesterday. Until he thought about going through his heat again and that dread came back in droves… 

“This is what we are talking about. You dreading your mating cycle isn’t good for you, all of that stress feeds back into the horrific nature of it all. That's why we’ll destress you first. I’m not saying it won’t hurt at all, cramps are a natural part of it but it can hurt less. We’ve herbs for this and you won't have to worry about stress headaches or hunger pangs.” Yennefer’s words seemed to help him relax a bit more. 

“And this will help it be easier in future.” Geralt added, only to have Jaskier immediately tense up.  

“I think I’d better not, I don’t want to get used to this type of comfort and then that just make it worse when I don’t have it anymore.” Geralt growled again, debating claiming the man right there in order to convince him. A bite would be an undeniable proof of his devotion  

“Jaskier. My mate. My prettiest bard. I am not leaving you again.” After she was done rolling her eyes Yennefer spoke. 

“You know, mating bites are usually done during mating cycles.” Jaskier’s eyes snapped to her and then back to Geralt. Geralt purred louder at the idea of claiming his mate. Having Jaskier to himself for the rest of their lives. 

“...Geralt?” 

“It has been the only thing on my mind for a long time.” A new seriousness entering the witcher’s voice. It made the bard shiver. 

“...you can’t just say something like that.” Jaskier grumbled, trying to cover the purr that rose and fell in his throat. Geralt nosed further into Jaksier’s skin, trying to get more of that excited scent. 

“We could do the claiming ritual for your first proper heat. I’d be going into my mating cycle soon too, you’d be able to bite me back.” Geralt purred and chuffed at the idea, his primal was going absolutely feral, begging his mate to bite him over and over until the claim took. Even if he wasn’t in rut yet. 

“I can smell your arousal Geralt, save it for my first ‘proper’ heat. It's what's supposed to happen.” Geralt whined at this, apparently Jaskier was just getting everything wrong about how his own heat should be working. 

“There’s not really a supposed to when it comes to this and we’ll be taking it at your pace. I mean I always enjoy a good repeated knotting during my heat but you might only need to jack off once or twice. Although considering your apparently insatiable desires outside of mating, I expect your current lack of arousal is more due to the pain you were feeling.” Jaskier laughed at Yennefer’s callus mentions of her sex life, they had never exactly been sparse on the details with each other but it was funny to see Geralt turn his nose up in annoyance. 

“Right well, I’m sure it’ll be fine in that regard. It’s not my first time having sex in my heat. Should we um get to it then?” 

“No, not yet, Yen and Vesemir are still preparing to clear out your system so we’ve got some time to clear anything up with you and get you more relaxed than you are now. You won’t have to leave this room but you’ll probably want to bathe and something more comfortable to sleep in.” Geralt explained, his eyes flicking over to the water basin. 

“I- I would at least like to try to build a nest, a real one for us before that anyway.” Jaskier relented, a small admission that he hadn’t even realised he was holding. He tried very valiantly not to feel shame for it. 

“Yeah the other witchers formed it around us when we first brought you here. You were out for that part. Do you need any other furs?” 

“It wouldn’t hurt to have them, the others. The ones that found me at least. I can just leave them out if I don't want them. Otherwise this should be enough for just us. I mean there will be other people in here with us when I start again so I can't make it too big.” It's not like Jaskier had an issue with public nudity or sex. If there were other witchers partaking in the same in the other corners of the room then that would be fine, the community and comfort was actually something that he was looking forward to. Even having Yennefer in here was comforting and if he was going to be meeting and introducing himself into the pack it would be nice to have them around. 

“If it's only us , Eskel, Lambert and Aiden, it should be fine. There aren’t many more than that in the keep and the other room will be fine for the ones that want to spend their cycles in the nesting room.” 

“Want to spend their cycles here. So they don’t need to.” Jaskier asked, parroting the last of Geralt’s sentence. 

“Most do but not everyone. But they still take comfort in each other's company.” Geralt shut down his line of thinking immediately. It was clear being in the presence of pack was already helping and he wasn’t going to let Jaskier deprive himself of his very first good heat. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll stay here with your pack.” 

“Our pack.” Geralt corrected, much to Jaskier’s exasperation. 

“Fine, yes, our pack. Now I am very uncomfortable and I think I need to wash off after all this emotional vulnerability.“ 

Jaskier had asked to bathe himself but couldn’t exactly let Geralt leave yet. So an hour later Jaskier was freshly washed and changed into a cotton undershirt and pants rather than his usual dress shirt. Geralt had stood next to him the entire time, providing contact when Jaskier got too worried about washing it all off or helping him dress when his legs got a little too shaky. 

It was clear he was still coming down hard from his heat but it was almost over. His body would catch up with his mind soon enough and then they could start the process of helping in correcting the damage that years of painful heats had done. Geralt silently admired how strong his mate was. Intensely resilient to anything and everything. This only helped to prove what years on the path had shown. 

Now Geralt was sitting just outside of where they had nested along with the other witchers as they all scented various newly cleaned furs. Jaskier stood where the center of the nest had been, taking apart the old furs and handing them to Yen to clean. If he was going to have a nest it would be clean, at least going into his heat. 

“I don’t really feel anything for this. Am I supposed to?” The bard ventured, mostly directed at Yen and the other omega in the room. 

“You probably won't feel the urge to nest until your pre-heat sets in or at least until after we de-stress you.” Yen answers.

“I always keep a nest while I’m here. Heat or not, it’s nice to go back to after a long day.” Eskel’s answer was a little more along the lines of what Jaskier had expected. 

“I used to keep the materials but haven’t in the past two years.” Geralt referenced his disconnect to his alpha, using as an opportunity to lay out that there was really no way to do this. 

“Ok I think I’ll wait until pre-heat to do that. For now I’ll just… sort everything. You’re sure I’m not taking too many of these.” Jaskier held up the furs he was currently folding. 

“No bard. You have no idea how many of those we’ve got. It’s a little ridiculous.” Lambert commented, taking a seat as he took his own furs into another corner and began crafting his own. With the help of Aiden and Eskel as they all stepped into familiar nesting rolls. 

“You keep the furs from every hunt or something?” The bard quipped back. 

“Bassically, but that’s what you’ll get with wolves.” Aiden snarked, his tone light and playful. Jaskier noticed that the others would run their hands over each other, arms or neck, the small their backs or their shoulders. It was nice, the sort of comfortable affection Jaskier had only really shared with Geralt. He also noticed that Geralt didn’t really partake in this little ritual with the others, his focus solely on Jaskier as they both sorted through the furs and blankets and pillows. He held things when asked and handed them back when asked. 

The others would banter and play and Jaskier would jump in too. Geralt would huff and grumble and smile when Jaskier said something funny. Eventually Eskel was the first on to start including Jaskier into their little ritual. Coming over to him and resting a hand over his wrist. A small mark but one that makes Jaskier’s heart flutter with appreciation. He immediately turned to look at Geralt for reassurance. Geralt gives him a slight nod and a small smile and he returns the gesture 

“Thank you…” Was all he mumbled to Eskel’s nod before the two returned to their respective tasks. Jaskier now helping Yennefer and Geralt to clean the clothing, while the others began to gather material for their respective nests. They would often swap materials if they found them displeasing but no one was really constructing theirs yet. 

“Why aren’t you guys building your’s yet?” Jaskier couldn’t help but ask. 

“We usually do it together once the first of us goes into their pre-heat. Gives opportunity to change and rescent anything.” Eskel provides as he hands one of the furs he picked out to Lambert. 

“Also sort of triggers our pre-ruts or pre-heats so we can all go into it together. Makes everything easier.” The shorter witcher said with a shug, coming over to Jaskier holding one of his own knitted blankets.” 

“That makes sense. So you’re waiting for me then?” Jaskier pushed further, his hands plunging in and out of the cold water before wringing the pillowcase and handing it off to Yennefer to dry it. 

“Yes. Scent this.” Lambert held the piece out to the bard with a sincere expression. Jaskier hesitantly took it, staring at him with bewilderment. He hadn’t expected them to welcome his scent like this. He’d thought they were all just putting up with this for Geralt’s sake. 

“I- I but we-” 

“I swear to god if you say we aren’t pack…” Jaskier’s mouth clicked shut to cut himself off. 

“What our lovely friend is trying to say buttercup is that we have known you were Geralt’s mate since… What was it the third year you came back smelling like him?” His attention turned to Geralt at the end. Geralt looked up from the fur he was currently brushing out to respond. 

“You… can’t have been able to tell that from only three years.” He insisted. 

“You reeked of him, you barely even let us scent you like he does. Even back then.” Something warm settled in Jaskiers gut at Lambert’s words. He had always been handsy with the witcher but he hadn’t really meant it to be scent marking and it always stayed friendly. Eskel came over to him and handed him a fur in a similar way to what Lambert had done as they kept talking. 

“You also smelled of lust whenever you told us about the ‘annoying little bard who couldn’t seem to stay out of trouble.’” Aiden added, his voice mocking Geralt’s as he spoke. Geralt flushed immediately and Jaskier got a good kick out of that as he buried his face in the fur, rubbing it over the back of his neck and then handing it back. Before he left, Eskel put his own hand at the back of Jaksier’s neck for a moment before pulling away. 

“I did not smell of lust.” Geralt complained. 

“You did.” A chorus of whitcher’s voices rang out in the small room. Much to Jaskier’s humor. 

“Fine… I didn’t only smell of lust.” Geralt clarifies much to Lambert's insistent groaning and the others stifled laughs. Jaskier also laughs as Geralt turns to him after that. Wearing his stupid little grin that means he’s proud of himself. 

“Yes I’m sure there was the underlying smell of onions.” Jaskier quipped, enjoying the grumbling huff he got in return, much to the other’s amusement. 

The rest of the day passed like that, the witchers would exchange clothing and scent certain parts of the room or eachother. By the end Jaskier had been thoroughly scented by them all and had stacked up his own supply of nest building material for when heat hit. The other witchers would leave occasionally and bring back certain things. Clothing or comfort items. Several carved knot toys that seemed to be stashed out of sight soon enough. 

He of course knew they existed but had never used one, or even seen one for that matter. Lambert, being the least embarrassed of the others, had explained to him in great detail how he used them, Jaskier had asked. Some part of him was still trying to prove he wasn’t a prude. 

Jaskier could admit the prospect intrigued him. Geralt could even catch the faint scent of arousal as Lambert went into detail, but the bard couldn’t imagine using one of those during his heat. It seemed like it would only add to the discomfort he would already feel. Usually all he wanted to do was curl up and wait it out, that much movement would surly hurt no? 

“Jask, little bard.” Jaskier preened at the pet name from his mate. He always loved the tone Geralt took with him and no one else. It made his words feel private from the world. As if only he was meant to hear them. 

“You won’t be in any pain for most of your heat. You might not want to use something like this or even be touched but we won’t let you be in constant pain.” Geralt had cuddled up to him since the discussion had started, taking the bard into his lap as he had scented the arousal. He hadn’t wanted anyone else to be this close to his mate while Jaskier was clearly getting riled up. It also helped that the smell from his mate was so utterly encapsulating. He could sit here for ages, sending and marking the smaller man and never be satisfied.

“Right, yes I keep forgetting that part. Well, I’m afraid I'll have to believe it when I see it Geralt. Although I might find myself one of those toys for when the nights on the road get lonely.” Geralt whined at his mate’s word. That whine quickly turned into a growl as his alpha screamed that they should be the only thing pleasuring their mate. 

“What. What is it you grump? It won’t take up that much room but if you’re so concerned I can carry it.” Jaskier rolled his eyes, letting his head fall onto the shoulder of his mate as Geralt buried his nose into the bard’s scent glands. 

“I will be the one pleasuring you when we return to the path. Not some lifeless toy .” Geralt growled, letting his fangs graze across the other’s skin. Jaskier shivered at the feeling, wanting to lean into the touch and have those teeth in his skin already. He still couldn’t exactly get his head around the fact that they were doing this. That he was going to have a proper heat with a mate and get claimed in only a day or so. 

“Oh yes, right. I’m sorry darling. My head is in all sorts of places right now. It’s a little overwhelming is all, I promise I’ll come to you when I’m feeling needy hm? How does that sound?” Geralt felt his growl turn sharper, into a happier purr as he let his tongue lick out and drag across those wonderful scent glands. He got a rewarding gasp from the omega as he did. 

“Just don’t stop smelling like this…” Jaskier chuckled, tilting his head to the side to give his mate more access. Geralt’s response was immediate, his hands tightening and his mouth working hard. Licking and sucking as Jaskier hummed at the pleasant, sleepy arousal it caused. 

“Aren’t you starting your heat tomorrow ?” Aiden jokes, watching the pair from his own place in the nesting room. Jaskier simply made a rude face which quickly melted as Geralt sucked over his pulse point just the right way. 

“G-geralt… we should…” Geralt paused, leaving a wet kiss to the fresh mark on his mate’s skin. 

“Yes lark?” Geralt was beginning to feel a bit scent drunk at this point. He just couldn’t get enough. Now that Jaskier had relaxed and calmed down, feeling better since that morning, the scent of post heat was fresh on his skin. Geralt’s alpha was going crazy in the face of it. 

Breed 

Mate

Knot 

Breed 

Good Omega 

In heat for us 

Pup mate 

“I think, I’m uh- ready to get the examination part over with. You’ll be there the whole time? I don’t think My primal can handle space right now.” Jaskier admitted as he turned to tuck into the witcher. Geralt preened at the show of trust and nuzzled into the other’s hair, catching another hint of that irresistible scent before responding. 

“Jaskier… Yes. I won’t leave your side throughout this time.” Geralt reassured. He let his hands loop around the lark’s waist, pulling him close and pressing the other into his lap harder. It cemented his rightful place in Geralt’s arms. Jaskier grasped his hands at Geralt’s shirt, they had rarely left that position even when eating and he wasn’t going to start now. 

“O-ok. Can the others stay here as well?” Jaskier asked mostly to Geralt but looked around the room to make sure the other witchers knew he was talking to them as well and that their input was welcome. 

“Of course bard. Once you go into your heat and Geralt starts his rut we won’t be far behind. It’s sort of useless for us to leave now and the other witchers will be around with food and fresh water as soon as we let them know it’s started.” Eskel explained carefully, coming to rest closer to the pair as they all started to settle in. 

“We take care of each other here, even if one of us is a cat bastard.” Lambert nipped at Aiden’s neck, the other huffing a laugh at Lambert’s jab. Jaskier trilled slightly, a noise that was getting easier on his throat the more he did it. And it seemed that the others in the room were determined to see how many times they could get it out of him. 

“Good mate. Such pretty sounds.” Geralt purred, praising the bard in hopes of getting that scent of arousal to strengthen. It certainly worked as Jaskier squirmed slightly under the weight of his words. Another, smaller trill sounded from him, getting a pride filled purr from his mate.

“Just call your mentor already, I thought that was supposed to happen before all of your depravity. You animal.” Jaskier poked playfully but still nuzzled unto the witcher’s neck, giving soft kisses between words to show he didn’t mean any harshness. 

“Eskel could you- My hands are full.” Geralt jabbed back and Jaskier rolled his eyes. Both of them felt how the bard’s hands had tightened when he asked. It was clear he hadn’t wanted any sort of separation and Geralt was more than happy to oblige. His primal was already clawing at the bars to get to his mate and leaving him even for a moment wasn’t an option. Not when he smelled so good around other witchers. 

Eventually Vesemir and Yennefer entered with their respective supplies and began setting up a small space in the corner for Jaskier to be while they looked. Currently Jasker was still sat in Geralt’s lap, the alpha wrapped around him and monitoring everything that touched or even came near his mate. Vesemir couldn’t help but sigh and give annoyed looks to the witcher. He was sympathetic to Jaskier’s need for contact but Geralt’s over protection was unnecessary to say the least. 

Yennefer was better, talking out loud as he went through the motions and explaining what was going on. ‘This will check your fever’ , ‘this will tell us what your cycle is like’ , ‘this might feel a bit cold, but don’t worry that's normal’. Each word said to make Jaskier feel better about the predicament and to placate Geralt’s primal as he watched the other get poked and prodded while the two healers worked out the best way to induce his heat. 

Geralt all the whole clung to Jaskier more than the bard did to him. This whole ordeal had set his alpha on edge and it felt the cloying fear that if they let Jaskier go, even for a moment, the omega would retreat back into the dark place they had already worked so hard to pull him out of. 

He nuzzled and kissed at the other’s skin, calming him when the touch of another got to be too much for the moment or when he started to fret at the ever present threat of his next heat. Eventually that time would come and the more the older witcher talked about it the less fearful the bard felt. 

“It will feel just like you're going into heat normally with some variation. The dizziness you’ve experienced in the past is due to dehydration, and heat sickness. Neither of which you will experience here. Geralt and the other witchers as your pack will ensure that you are getting enough to eat and drink. Under normal circumstances you would be expected to do the same, you’d feel the urge to do the same but this time you’ll likely not want to leave the nest or Geralt’s side at all. That is completely normal.” The older witcher explained, looking him in the eyes with an expression of complete sincerity before turning to the others. 

“It will be like treating a presenting packmate for the first time. You’ll all act accordingly. We expect you to feel aroused during this time but it’s fine if you don’t feel that even two or three more heats after this, or ever.” He turned back to Jaskier with the last sentence and the bard nodded, feeling slightly strange for having this all need to be explained to him. It’s not like his father ever would have. 

“Since you’ve never nested before either, we can’t be sure what to expect there too. If the end of your last heat was anything to go by you may only want Geralt to be there. Bard. It is ok if you don’t want anyone in your nest at all, but you’ll need to let Geralt help you. Food and water are good to be nearby but you do actually have to eat them for it to help.” The older witcher looked at Geralt now, something hard on his face. A stern look that set the expectations for the other. Geralt knew that this was on him, that he would be the main support during his mate’s difficult time. He was ready for it. He’d spent years helping other witcher’s through their heats even when they first presented, he could do the same for his own damn mate. 

“I think that’s everything then, and the spells are ready when you are Jask. It’ll just start to feel like your pre-heat for a couple days, nesting and cuddles ect… You’ll be fed and kept warm when your proper heat starts. Don’t worry bard, we won't let anything happen to you.” Jaskier’s fists clenched tightly in Geralt’s shirt and he winced at the slightly too sweet words. He knew that. He trusted these people, his pack but it was all still too much. So much information and so little time to process all of it. Yen had said they needed to do it soon but he was still so nervous. 

First heat with Geralt and it’s forced on by magic. 

“Ok, well no time like the present right? I mean the faster we start, the faster it’s over…” Geralt whined close to his ear and he made sure to wiggle in the man’s lap to get him to quiet the noise. It wasn’t spending his heat with Geralt that was the issue. It was having to go through this stupid cycle at all that was causing him all this distress. He knew the others could smell it on him but they had seen him worse by now so what did it matter. 

“Jaskier, I’m sorry this has been so brutal for you and there is a conversation to be had about where you learned that this was standard-” Jaskier tried to defend that he had already had this conversation but Yennefer continued anyway. 

“One that involves a list of names and locations. But this will help you. We wouldn’t be doing it otherwise.” The witch continued, her expression empathetic and caring. That alone had Jaskier off guard as he had only really seen the other with the expression of exasperation when speaking to him. Jaskier swallowed his snarky retort and dipped his head. He knew she was right and he trusted them, these people who had taken him in at his lowest and not abandoned him. At least not yet. 

“I know, It’s just- it’s a lot.” 

“You keep saying that, what about it is a lot?” Geralt nudged the question at the side of the bard’s neck, quickly returning to his effort of coating the other’s neck in spit. 

“Good question Geralt, I’ve been on my own for things like this for years. Hell I’m almost forty now, presented at sixteen. That's a lot of cycles on my own or with a stranger for company. Going from that to this. To all of you. It's… I fear I may be a great disruption to you all like this. As if there is a wrong way to have a heat cycle and I will match that perfectly.” Jaskier explained. 

“There is a wrong way to go into heat, and you’ve already demonstrated that perfectly when we found you, bard. As long as we don’t get a repeat performance you should be fine.” Yennefer’s playfully sarcastic tone came back and Jaskier smiled at that. They cared about him so much, it was hard to understand, even harder to accept. 

“Yes well, I have this great big wall of muscle promising to take care of me and a wonderful witch who might even hold him to it.” Jaskier giggled and the others smiled at him. For the first time in a very, very long time, he felt what it might be like to be part of a pack. A real one, not the secretive and structured one his father had created. He looked out at the mix of Alpha’s, Betas, and Omegas in the room and felt utterly equal to them all. A group of people gathered like family with no forced domination or submission. Something he felt he could sink into and only feel the warmth of kind hands and bright bantering jabs. 

“Ready Jaskier…?” Yen’s voice came filtering in like sunlight rather than the ice cold objectification he had expected it to be. Maybe he wasn’t ok with this, but he could be. He felt himself start to become convinced of this new feeling. 

Pack

Home

Mate 

Family

“...Yes. I think I am.”