Chapter Text
“Ok, but why are you driving all the way to your hometown? There are dentists here! I mean, not in Schitt’s Creek, but in the greater Elms area.” David asked for what seemed like the hundredth time.
“David, I’ve already explained this. I don’t want to go to a new dentist for something this major. I trust my dentist back home.”
“Okay, but that’s what Yelp is for! We can look at reviews. I’m not gonna let just any quack take out your wisdom teeth!”
“I appreciate the concern, but it’s already set up. I’ll drive home, my mom will take me to the appointment, then I’ll be there for a couple of days while I recover.”
“What if….what if I wanted to be the one to take care of you?” David said softly.
Patrick approached David, placed his hands on his boyfriend’s waist and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.
“I love that you want to do that for me. However, you also need to take care of the store. Doing both of those things would be nearly impossible. Besides, I haven’t been home for a visit in a while and I think my mom is looking forward to doting on me.”
“Oh, I know she is. She couldn’t stop talking about it last time I spoke to her.”
“You talk to her?!”
“Uh, yeah. She calls the store all the time.”
“Why does she call the store and not my cell?”
“Because she wants to talk to me? About our products. She’s always interested in what new beauty products we get in, and candles….she’s obsessed with candles. You know what, I should get a gift basket around for you to take to her - maybe throw in some of that new yarn we just stocked. She knits, right? Or is it crochet?”
Patrick squinted skeptically at David. “And who’s going to pay for this gift basket?”
David smirked. “Um, it’s a write-off?”
They’d had this conversation before and it was a well-worn joke between the two men.
“That’s not what a write-off is, David. And I think you know that.”
“Well, either way, I’m not sending you there empty handed.”
“Okay, David.”
// Marcy POV //
Marcy finally got her son back home, out of the car and into the house.
“How’d we get here so fast?! You didn’t know the right way to go.”
“No, you were giving me wrong directions.”
“Will you make me a lasagna, mom?”
“Not right now, dear.”
“David would make me one,” Patrick replied petulantly.
“He would?”
“Mm-hmm. He’s a good person. And so handsome.”
“What? Who?”
“David. How is he so handsome?”
This…was not what Marcy was expecting to come out of her son’s mouth. But, well, anesthesia can make people say some silly things. And David is handsome, after all.
“Oh, well, yes he is quite good looking.”
“His skin is so perfect….”
“I imagine your store’s products help with that.”
“No, before. He was perfect even before…”
Before what? She wanted to ask, but thought better about inquiring while Patrick was in this state.
“So beautiful…”
Beautiful?! Was he calling David beautiful?
“Okay, sweetie.”
“I think I wanna marry him.”
“What? Marry David?”
What on Earth was Patrick talking about? Was he saying what she thinks he’s saying?
“Yes! But I havta…I can’t ask him till I talk to my paren- wait! Mom, I have to tell you somethin’!” Patrick looked up at his mom with wide eyes.
Oh no. Marcy wasn’t quite sure she was ready to hear what Patrick needed to say.
“Okaaaay,” Marcy responded hesitantly.
“It’s very very important.”
They really shouldn’t be having this conversation right now.
“Do you want to wait until you’re more….alert? Feeling more like yourself instead of right after surgery?”
“No. Now!”
Ok, this was happening…now. Time for Marcy to brace for this news and be a supportive mother.
“Alright, Patrick. I love you. You can tell me anything.”
“Mom.”
“Yes, dear?”
“Come closer.” Patrick motioned with his index finger.
“I’m right here.”
Then he leaned in and whispered, “I’m very hungry.”
“Patty.”
“I’m a hungry hungry hippooooo…” He sang out.
Well, if that wasn't some emotional whiplash. Maybe what Patrick was saying meant nothing.
“Will you make me a lasagna, mom?”
“Sorry, honey, you can’t eat solid food yet.”
Patrick stuck out his bottom lip, then gasped, “Honey!”
“You want some honey?”
“No. You called me honey.”
“Oh, yeah, I guess I did.”
“That’s what he calls me.”
Oh, maybe this was not nothing.
“Honey?”
“Yup.” He popped the p for emphasis.
“David? Your business partner. Calls you honey?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Okay. That’s nice.”
“It’s very nice. He’s very nice. To me.”
“Why don’t you lay down for a bit, Patty.”
“Mmm. Okay. Yeah, I’m very tired.”
“Yes, that’s expected. Come on, rest right here on the couch so I can keep an eye on you.”
Marcy helped Patrick get situated on the couch in the den and covered him with a throw blanket.
“Mmm…need a pillow.”
“You’ve got one, silly. It’s under your head already.”
“No, need one to hold.”
“Oh, okay. Here’s an extra.”
“Mmm. David…”
“What?”
“Gonna hold it like it’s David. Miss him….we always snuggle like this. Especially after sex. He lets me be big spoon even though he’s taller.”
Oh my.
“Wanna always fall asleep with him.”
“Alright sweetie, close your eyes and get some sleep.”
“Forever and ever and ever…” Patrick repeated as he drifted off.
Well, anesthesia or not, Marcy was pretty sure she just learned some very interesting things about her son.
// Patrick POV //
“Morning sunshine.” Marcy greeted Patrick the second he peeked his eyes open, as if she had been sitting and waiting by his side all afternoon.
Immediately pain started radiating through his mouth and jaw.
“Mmm…can um…can you get me some water and pain killers, please?”
“They’re already there, on the side table.”
“Thanks.”
Patrick put the pills in his mouth and swallowed a gulp of water, wincing at the pain. Then he glanced back over at his mom, sitting in the recliner. She had a strange look on her face.
“Have you been sitting there the whole time I slept?”
“Um, mostly, yes. Been thinking about….stuff.”
“What’s going on? Is something wrong?” Patrick asked uneasily.
“Nothing’s wrong, dear.”
“What does that mean?”
“Um, how are you feeling? Lucid?”
“Lucid? Uh, yeah I guess. Until these pills kick in anyway.”
“Ok,” Marcy responded, pondering if she should move the conversation forward.
“What?”
“Well, I just wanted to talk to you about something, but it can wait a bit longer. Yes, let’s wait.”
“Mom, what is it? You have a very serious look on your face. Is…is it dad? Or you? Some sort of health problem? Or….are you moving? Selling the house? What?” Patrick asked, a bit panicky.
“No. Nothing like that. I just….well, you said some things while you were still a little loopy from the anesthesia.”
Oh no. What did he say? Please let it be nothing about David. Please please please.
“Oh no, what’d I say? Was it embarrassing? Please tell me you didn’t get a video of it,” Patrick responded.
“No, no video.”
“Mom, what is it?”
“I’m just concerned about what you said.”
“Concerned?!”
“No, that’s not the right word. Um, curious - I’m curious.”
“Okay, well, I was under anesthesia so who knows. What did I say?”
“You were - well, you said some things about your business partner. About David.”
Fuck, what had he said?! It hadn’t even occurred to him that he might let something slip about his relationship.
“Um, good things? Bad things?”
“Interesting things.”
“Mom, just tell me, please.”
“You, uh, said he was handsome, and that he called you honey, and you wanted to hold a pillow to sleep and pretend it was him.”
Oh God. How was he going to play this off?
“Alright. Well, he is pretty handsome, am I right?” Patrick replied with a nervous chuckle.
“Well, yes, he definitely is!”
“And, um, he calls everyone honey. No big deal,” Patrick continued.
“Okay. And what about the pillow thing?”
“I have no idea where that came from,” Patrick was scrambling for something to say. “Um, maybe….well, he wears all these really fuzzy sweaters that look soft. Maybe somewhere in my drug-addled brain, I thought that sounded like something comforting to snuggle with? I don’t know.”
“I guess….that kind of makes sense.” Marcy was still acting hesitant.
“Anything else?”
“You said you missed him.”
“Oh. Well, I mean, we spend all day, every day together. We’re good friends. That’s all,” Patrick said, knowing it was the truth, but not the entire truth. Lying by omission.
“And you’d tell me?”
“What?” Patrick gulped.
“If you were more than just good friends? You’d tell your father and I, right?” Marcy asked, her face looking so warm and comforting and hopeful.
This was it. This was his opportunity. He just wished his brain wasn’t quite so scrambled right now. This wasn’t how he wanted it to happen.
“Mom. I know that I can talk to you about anything, okay?”
He was aware that he wasn’t exactly answering her question. And by the look his mom was giving him, she knew it too.
“Okay, dear.”
“I think, um, I think I need to sleep some more.”
“Alright. I have jello made, and popsicles too, whenever you’re ready to put something in your stomach.”
“Sounds good. I might just head upstairs? To my bed? I think I’ll rest better there.”
“Okay. Do you need help navigating the stairs?”
“No, I think I’ll be okay. I’ll use the banister.”
“Ok. Sweet dreams.”
Patrick made his way to his old childhood bedroom and laid down on the bed, but he didn’t rest, he didn’t have sweet dreams. All he could think about was how fucked up this whole situation was. This was not how he wanted his parents to find out about David. Anesthetic confessions? How embarrassing. He felt like he had played it off pretty well though. He thought maybe his mom bought the excuses he was peddling.