1 - 20 of 150 Works in Parent Wade Wilson

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "An all too familiar masked figure sits on the couch in an all too familiar rundown apartment, staring straight at…well, you.

    It’s Deadpool; the Merc with a Mouth, a Masked Menace (no not that one), the Regenerating Degenerate, a Wildcard, who waves, the eye plates in the mask squinting jovially along to welcome you. 'Oh! You’re just on time! I’m your new narrator, are you ready to see what bullshit we have going on today?'"

    A story about Deadpool post-Time Ripper, but something's wrong...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,152
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    21
    Hits:
    549
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Ellie Camacho has a new school and a new best friend, and if their plan goes right, a whole new family! Now she and her BFF Gabby Kinney just need to get their dads to stop hating each other and fall in love and then they can be sisters for real!

    Easier said than done...

    Wade Wilson thought he was over his big fat stupid crush on the last mutant on earth who would ever want him, but lo and behold! Here it was, back with a VENGEANCE. He's done a lot of things in his life to warrant bad karma, but this feels like overkill. His little girl's new BFF could've been ANYBODY, but she just HAD to pick the daughter of THE fucking Wolverine. And the cherry on top? The man hates his fucking guts. This is gonna go GREAT.

    Logan Howlett just wants his little girl to be happy. The problem? Her happiness hinges on him tolerating the most insufferable man on the planet. Which would be fine - probably even doable - if it wasn't for the fact that he might just maybe be falling for the guy. A lot can change in a decade. Maybe there was more to him than Logan had realized.

    **8/17 minor timeline changes in chapters 1-5. Nothing significant just dates/months**

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,701
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    147
    Kudos:
    180
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2,624
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Deadpool has a dream: a big, happy, glitter-bombed family made up of the world’s most dangerous superheroes. So naturally, he starts adopting the Avengers. Emotionally. Legally. Sometimes magically.

    He's slowly going through the Avengers and family-ing them up. And Peter Parker? He’s stuck in the middle of this found-family fever dream just trying not to cry or die.

    Featuring legally questionable contracts, chaotic game nights, blood-oathed Nerf wars, and more dad jokes than the multiverse can tolerate.

    Welcome to the Deadpool Family Plan™: no refunds, no survivors, all vibes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,888
    Chapters:
    12/13
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    697
  4. Tags
    Summary

    When Deadpool decides he’s Peter Parker’s “fun, responsible, chimichanga-providing guardian,” the line between custody hearing and full-blown circus blurs. Tony Stark tries to maintain order. Spoiler: he fails spectacularly. Featuring mop buckets, sock puppets, churros, and the MCU payroll. You’ve been warned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,601
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    409
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Peter Parker thought balancing school, superheroing, and Aunt May was hard enough. Enter Wade Wilson: self-declared co-parent, bedtime enforcer, and proud owner of a Baby Yoda nightlight. Add Aunt May’s unnerving approval, Tony Stark’s drone-based parenting strategies, and one suspiciously glittery papoose, and suddenly Spider-Man has a curfew, a bedtime, and at least three parents he never asked for.

    Featuring: weaponized juice boxes, PowerPoint interventions, and Deadpool swaddling a teenager like an emotionally unstable burrito.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,526
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    640
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Wade decided it was time for a change. New York was filled with too many bad memories, including the disappearance of his child's mother and the traumatic breakup between him and his ex, Valentine. He had finished his doctorate degree in astronomy at the top of his class and a job with NASA, uprooting his entire life and moving to the east coast of Florida.

    What adventures await him? Well, he wasn't expecting a biker gang leader to eye him, but here he was, eyed by an alpha who would do anything to earn Wade's attention... except he doesn't have to do much, because Wade finds him EXTREMELY attractive!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,089
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1,047
  7. Tags
    Summary

    There's cash in front of him, a briefcase full of it, to be more precise. There are also documents strewn over the table, containing all the proof needed to make it easier for Deadpool to accept the contract. There's also a photograph and a name: Peter Parker.

    Or: Deadpool's hired to kill Peter Parker, former CEO of the now bankrupt Parker Industries, and Wade decides he better ask his trusted superhero crush Spider-Man—and Parker's former bodyguard—if his ex-boss really deserves a katana to the chest.

    Things are much more complicated.

    Spider-Man wanted to say something and make sure that corny line wouldn’t be the last one he heard, but his whole body felt like a bruise being pressed down. The man was opening his mouth to let out something evil and abnormally personal against Spider-Man, when a voice came down the dark alley.

    “But the record keeps playing the same old song.” Spider-Man and the bad guy turned their heads to the mouth of the alley. They couldn’t see anyone, but the male voice sang on. “They say aha, aha. Keep your hands off my girl.”

    Peter’s head thumped against the wall. “No. Just… no. Do me a favor, just crush my windpipe."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    155,565
    Chapters:
    27/30
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    1,017
    Kudos:
    1,784
    Bookmarks:
    337
    Hits:
    46,202
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Spider-Man is stuck in an interrogation room… until Deadpool bursts in with katanas, glitter, and a chicken on a secret spy mission. Matt Murdock tries to keep things calm, but chaos escalates faster than you can say “property damage.” Explosions of sarcasm, homicidal parenting, and superhero-level mayhem ensue, leaving the NYPD, raccoons, and literally everyone else questioning reality. Buckle up for the world’s loudest, most glittery, and absolutely unhinged rescue mission ever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,978
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    922
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Peter just wanted to stop a mugging, finish his chem homework, and maybe eat pizza in peace. Instead, he got glitter-based swing form critiques, legally binding bedtime protocols, and a tactical baby harness.

    Now he’s stuck between Iron Dad’s PowerPoint threats and Deadpool’s unsolicited lullabies, caught in a custody battle no court would touch (and no teenager deserves). There's a drone. There's a mixtape. There may or may not be a raccoon.

    Also, Deadpool wants to carry him kangaroo-style into battle.
    Against his will.
    Peter is so tired.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,583
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    490
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Peter Parker has battled aliens, zombies, and a rat cult that almost worshipped him as a giant spider.

    But now? Now he’s trapped in The Dad Joke Apocalypse—starring two dads who wield puns like weapons of mass annoyance.

    Deadpool breaks into his apartment with syrup and questionable life choices. Tony Stark shows up armed with caffeinated smugness and an arsenal of groan-worthy jokes.

    Peter just wanted toast.

    Instead, he gets a glitter-bombed pun war, syrup in places toast was never meant to be, and a very confused MJ wondering if she accidentally signed up for a sitcom crossover.

    Warning: Contains unsolicited glitter, tactical banana sword fights, and more dad jokes than should be legally allowed.

    Side effects may include uncontrollable eye rolls, sudden bursts of laughter, and an intense craving for breakfast foods.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,489
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    317
  11. Tags
    Summary

    when the anniversary of Wade’s mutation manifesting takes him by surprise, Wade forgets, but Logan remembers

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,397
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    122
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,391
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Peter Parker just wants a nap (or maybe a burrito). Instead, he’s kidnapped mid-sandwich by Deadpool—who’s decided to declare himself Peter’s “cool aunt” and embark on a chaotic custody battle against Tony Stark and Aunt May. With spinning, snack parties, legal threats, and an impending flash mob in Times Square, welcome to Peter’s new “family” life—where chaos is the only rule and sanity is just a distant memory.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,139
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    493
  13. Tags
    Summary

    It was supposed to be a normal team-up. Punch a sewer wizard, stop a glitter-based apocalypse, and maybe grab shawarma. Then Deadpool learned Peter was sixteen.

    Cue: legal threats, emotional support blankets, and an unsolicited family court case against Tony Stark.

    Now Spider-Man has two overprotective vigilantes for dads (against his will), a curfew enforced with friendship bracelets, and a new title: The Baby of Team Red™.

    And if anyone threatens his GPA, Wade will throw hands. And possibly grenades.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,095
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    425
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    2,941
  14. Tags
    Summary

    In another universe, Wade Winston Wilson is just a normal human bartender. He has a normal human boyfriend, Logan, who works a normal job as a middle school history teacher. Unfortunately for them both, Logan notices that one of his students happens to look a lot like him... and he thinks he remembers her mom and dad.

    Wade does some digging. What he finds is not normal.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,425
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    189
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Laura shook her head, her dark hair falling from her ponytail. “It’s something I wanted to get for Dad.” She opened the bag and pulled out a dog tag- similar to the ones Logan and Wade had collected over the years. Instead of a soldier’s information, on it were three names: Sarah, Laura, and Nellie.

    Wade frowned. “Sarah…who’s…? Who’s Sarah?” He turned it over and found his name beside Logan’s. The merc looked up from the necklace, puzzled. “Who’s Sarah?”

    She opened her mouth before closing it again. “Dad hasn’t told you yet.”

    He ran his thumb over the name. It came before Laura’s.

    OR there's someone in Logan's past that he hasn't told Wade about. It gets brought up on the day of Nellie and Laura's birthday

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,870
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    370
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Spider-Man has a podcast. It was supposed to be about mysteries.

    Now it’s about emotional damage, surprise guests with god complexes, and someone who brings wine coolers to crime scenes. There’s glitter in the sound equipment. The FCC won’t return his calls. Tony Stark has blocked the show on six platforms.

    Featuring: one tired host, one unhinged auntie, one chaos cryptid in tactical couture, and one shapeshifter with a flair for dramatic entrances.

    Welcome to Web of Lies. Wipe your shoes. Not your memory.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,328
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    344
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Logan hadn’t even seen the threat coming before it happened. Laura had told him that they would be back in a few minutes, to ease his anxiety of letting them wander. Logan found his anxiety was worse as they became closer as a family. If he couldn’t see or hear them, his mind filled with the dead bodies of the X-Men from his universe.

    Despite his earbuds, his sensitive ears caught the sound of Laura’s screams.

     

    OR as usual, there's bad guys who want regenerative abilities. They manage to take Laura and Nellie. Wade and Logan have to get them back.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,121
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    340
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “I know you’re both my sorta parents so this is a strange question: when is the right time to become official with someone?”

    Both Logan and Wade stopped in their post dinner cleanup. Laura sat at the kitchen counter, a bored expression on her face. Logan wiped his hands on his pants. “What…? Why…?”

    “This is about that kid Morgan you brought over here, right? Is he pressuring you?” Wade waved around a dirty spatula. “Because if he is I’m not above-“

    “Morgan isn’t pressuring me to do anything!” Laura clarified, sitting up. “It’s just… we’ve been hanging out for a while and I really like him.” The mini Wolverine reached for a soda can and sliced it open with her claws. “I just thought I could ask. It’s not like I’m asking how to have sex, although I’m sure that’d be no problem. It’s no secret Wade is a bit of a freak.”

    OR Laura brings up her interest in a boy which leads to a difficult conversation between Wade and Logan

    WARNING: Discussions of childhood assault and abuse. Please mind the tags and do not read if you are triggered by them. Take care of yourself first.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,824
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    598
  19. Tags
    Summary

    In Wade's universe, people are classified as either "little," "neutral," or "caregiver.” All Logan really knows is that he wants nothing to do with it.

    Until he's classified as a little.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100,720
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    481
    Kudos:
    495
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    14,892
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Someone has to leave first, right? That’s how the poem goes, and Wade knows this. It’s just a matter of when, not if.

    The first to leave in their story is Logan.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,446
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    135
    Kudos:
    111
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,738

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