Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was quiet in the bunker that day. Very quiet. Not much going on, just hanging around, taking a break from hunting, trying to catch Lucifer and finding Kelly Kliene. It was a nice change to not be running around frantically, hoping to find something useful to deal with one of the situations at hand.

Sam was binge-watching some chick-flick TV series on Netflix (“You cried at The Notebook, Dean.” “I did no such thing!”) and had been for a week now. There was more chance he’d finished it and started a new series of something, actually.

Dean and Castiel were… well, making use of their time, and taking advantage that Sam couldn't hear them. But on that fateful morning, someone else dropped by. Someone who'd been pretending to be dead for the last 7 years.

In Sam's room, the television went a little fuzzy. Now, a normal person would find that weird. The moose? No. He just shouted “Who is it?" In the calmest voice imaginable.

Instead of a blunt answer, the TV turned off, but the speakers stayed on, and a familiar turn started to play. One that the youngest Winchester had heard hundreds of time, and knew immediately what was happening.

“Hello Gabriel,” Sam was now flicking through a book, not even looking up at the archangel stood at the foot of his bed.

“Oh, come on! That was supposed to be dramatic,” he complained, as the moose finally looked up. It’d been years since they'd seen each other. And it was hardly surprising that Sam was pissed at the archangel - or should I say his archangel. They had been together for a while, before Gabriel faked his death, and he never told Sam, therefore he had an angry puppy to deal with.

“How long's it been Gabe? 6, maybe 7 years, since I last saw you?” Sam asked, with a game smile that dropped, “You know, I mourned your death. And I had to do it without anyone else realising. We’d been a couple for years! You could have told me you were alive. I… I was gon-gonna ask you…”

Tears ran down the youngest Winchester’s face, and he buried it in his hands. It clicked though, Gabriel figured out what he was saying. The hunter was going to propose.

“I'm sorry.”

Sam didn't think he meant it. Gabriel did mean it.

“I'm so sorry, but it wasn't safe. For either of us. And on the plus side,” Gabriel perked up a little, “tomorrow is April 1st. You know what that means? It's our favourite holiday, April Fool's Day. We could maybe trick those other two into a relationship, after all, it's not like they're getting together anytime soon.”

Sam then spent the rest of the afternoon explaining what had happened since Gabriel had abandoned him. Oh, and they made up. It was gooey, and it got intimate…

That evening, when Sam finally appeared at the door to the bunker’s kitchen, it was already occupied by a couple of morons trying to make dinner, but failing miserably, instead opting for covering each other in whatever they could get their hands on.

The youngest Winchester just stood and smiled at them: this was what he wanted. He wanted his lover to be his best friend, to playfully insult each other, to have food fights, to… to live. And if Sam asked Gabriel, he'd probably want that too.

“Er, guys,” Sam coughed. They stopped abruptly, and looked to him, still grinning. That was, until Gabriel appeared next to Sam, and Dean almost strangled the archangel.

Once reacquainted, and NOT trying to kill each other, the Trickster explained what was going to happen. As the next day was their favourite holiday, they would play a prank on each other (12 in total), and try not to harm each other too seriously. So, let the games begin.

Specifically, it began that night actually. Since they had the discussion, Gabriel had already been warning Sam of the upcoming prank he'd planned - the point being, that there was no prank, it just made the moose paranoid, which was a prank in itself.

Next, Dean had waited until Gabriel was out the way, before going, and putting several marbles in the freezer. Later on, Dean got Cas to to distract Sabriel, whilst he sneaked into their room, and placed the marbles under the covers. All he had to do now, was wait.

And lastly, in this night (there was still the next day), Sam had already hidden a baby monitor in Dean and Cas’ room, ready to make funny noises ALL night.

Immediately Gabriel ran, and full on, launched himself onto the moose's bed, and yelped very loudly, so much so, that Sam could even hear Dean and Castiel cackling from it. The frozen marbles had rolled onto Gabriel's skin, giving him a nasty shock. But at least he'd know better next time.

After they thought it was all over, Dean and Cas snuggled under the covers, when suddenly, a sort of sniffling noise was heard. It freaked them out a little, but Sam continued to make different freaky noises. Until of course, Castiel found the monitor, and lobbed it out into the corridor, smashing into a thousand pieces.

At 4am, Castiel's alarm went off, and Dean wondered what the fuck was going on, and where the hell his heat source was going. Cas slumped into the bathroom, collected a big bowl full of warm water and went back to the corridor.

Instead of their room, he gently tiptoed into Sam and Gabriel's, and spotted the moose's huge paw hanging out the side of the bed. Did you know, that if you put a sleeping person's hand in warm water, they piss themselves in their sleep? Well, they do.

Sam awoke the next morning, wondering why his pants felt odd. He stumbled out of bed, but the second he opened the door, a camera was in his face. That's when it had clicked. Very annoyed moosie.

And all whilst this was happening, Castiel was in the bathroom, swapping around a few things for his fellow archangel...

Ten minutes later, the other person asleep in that bed, woke up with a different strange sensation, his face felt odd. Gabriel reached to touch it, but if his nose wasn't mistaken, honey had been poured on his face. It was sticky and nasty, and only one person could have done it, and they probably deserved their revenge.

Gabriel trudged along to the nearest bathroom, where he immediately started to scrub the sticky substance off his skin - rather than mojoing it away, like any other angel would. It made him feel more human, which was oddly comforting. He sighed to himself, and decided to get ready while he was in there. So Gabriel went straight to the toothpaste, which incidentally, had been swapped with the shaving foam.

“FUCK!” He spat it out, and proceeded to rapidly wipe his tongue over a towel, then rinse it out several times. Wonderful. And whoever did that will be hysterically laughing right now, because walls are thin around here (and Gabriel could actually hear all three of them).

“Ugh, thank you very much. And that must mean…” he snatched up the shaving foam, and squirted a little into the sink, “Yep. I'd have been minty fresh all day.”

“Gabe?” Here was a knock at the door: it was his boyfriend, “Hurry up, I want to get ready!”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm almost done. Thanks for the makeover, honey!”

When Gabe opened the door, Sam was trying his hardest not to smile at the aftermath of the prank. His boyfriend was so damn cute. And short. Once Gabriel was out, Sam started running the shower, not holding back his giggles. And he had already set up his last prank, of meddling with the TV remote in Dean and Cas’ room.

After thoroughly cleaning his glorious mane, with his extravagant hair products that Dean constantly teased him about, he started to rub it dry, when the moose noticed something.

“Oh no,” he began quietly, “DEAN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!”

“Dean, what did you do?” Cas innocently inquired, as Dean grinned as smugly as humanly possible. They were sat in their room, how convenient...

“I put Nair in his shampoo.”

“Of course you did.”

Both were lying on their bed, just talking. Dean went to grab the TV remote, but Castiel leapt forward, and battled him for it, and eventually won, which Dean blamed on the angel mojo.

Then the issue occurred.

The remote didn't work. He checked the batteries: batteries were fine. He checked the TV worked: TV worked. Maybe the remote had just died. Dean took it from his angel's hands to inspect it, and instantly found the problem: someone had taped over the sensor. He huffed and handed it back.

“Dean, are you hungry?” Cas asked, out of the blue, but before he got an answer, Castiel had already run into the kitchen and back, “I made these the other day for you.”

It appeared to just be a plate of chocolate chip cookies, and Dean was far too busy paying attention to the TV to remember what day it was, so just tucked in. 10 seconds later, his mouth was on fire, Castiel was laughing like an utter ass and Dean had figured out that there was chilli's hidden in the food. Idiot.

Cas only found this funny for so long, and decided to put his boyfriend out of his misery. He reached for the mug of milk he kept for this purpose on the side, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Shit.”

“Wha-what?” Dean almost yelled. Cas bit his lip, but instead of explaining, he sprinted to the kitchen, got the milk and ran back. A few minutes later, Dean was sorted and Castiel told him what had happened.

“Oh, that may have been my fault. I glued your mug to the table. That's karma for you though,” Dean guiltily looked down, and got an idea, “Actually, I need to go and clean Baby. Would you mind making lunch for the two of us? I promise this isn't a prank.”

“Okay, sure.”

And it was only because he saw what Gabriel had done earlier. The archangel had put baking soda in with the ketchup. Which he then shook. So the next person to open it, he was going to get absolutely covered in ketchup.

The eldest Winchester had gathered all the things to clean Baby with, all lined up nicely. He attached the hose to the tap, and turned it on. At the other end, a sort of purple gunge oozed out and landed on the Impala.

“No, no, no!”

Even after Dean had stopped it, for a minute it still came out, but luckily not onto the car. Chuck, this was going to take so fucking long to clean up.

“I hate you.” He turned around to see his angelic boyfriend, drenched in ketchup, with a sour look on his face. “Don't think I'm making you lunch ever again. And no sex for a week!”

“I wasn't me,” Dean pleaded, especially at the thought of his punishment, “It was Gabe. I saw him put it in there, and my mouth was hurting, so it was slightly revenge.”

Before Castiel could snarkily tell Dean to fuck off, a scream rippled through the bunker. They ran as fast as they could to the library. The first thing they saw wasn't what was being screamed at, but rather who was screaming.

“Nice beanie, Sammy.”

“Not funny, and how is that the first thing you saw?”

Dean next looked to Cas, whose eyes were wide open in fear. And in the very middle of the library, was a fully grown, fully alive, grizzly bear. And a note saying “Good luck moving him.”

Fuck.