Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Sydney had first brought Leonard home, Ray hadn’t really thought too much of it. He was another handsome man in a parade of handsome men. He’d probably return once or twice, before Sydney got bored of him and traded him in for the next pretty grey eyed man who crossed his path.

Still Ray ensured there was enough coffee in the pot for all three of them, and made polite conversation with him while Sydney got ready for work. Leonard worked as a museum night guard, had a wicked sense of humour and made exceptional pancakes. He’d asked what Ray did, and whether he was the evil twin, before Sydney had made his return and whisked Leonard out of the house.

Ray had gone back to his work, and hadn’t given Leonard a second thought for the rest of the day.

---x

Leonard had been back in the house a few days later, in a dark blue button up, and shoes Ray could probably see his face in. He looked good, and Sydney made sure he knew it, greeting him with a passionate kiss.

Sydney suggested they skip dinner, but Leonard insisted he hadn’t had a decent meal in months, and he was going to make Dr Moneybags work for his dessert. For some reason, Ray pointed out he was technically a doctor as well. Leonard had offered Sydney a small smile, told him that he knew where to go if Syd was too tired for that dessert.

He really should have started to put the pieces together then.

---x

“What do you think of Leonard?” Syd asked him one night, as they sat side by side on the couch, watching some dumb car wreck TV show. (As geniuses, sometimes they needed to watch something they didn’t have to think about).

“I don’t really know him.” Ray admits, “He seems nice though.”

“Nice?” Sydney snorts, “You really don’t know him.”

---x

Leonard returns to Sydney and Ray’s home several times over the next few weeks. Sometimes he and Syd go out, dancing, drinking, eating. Most of the time they just sit on the couch with Ray, watching cheesy sci-fi on Netflix.

During a weekend marathon of Star Trek, Ray was excited to find that Leonard was on his side in the eternal Kirk/Bones vs Kirk/Spock debate he and Sydney had going on.

“Ugh. I’m breaking up with you.” Sydney had announced.

Leonard had shrugged, pulled his arm from around Syd’s shoulder and slung it around Ray instead. He nuzzled into his side, pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Well, that was easy.”

Syd rolled his eyes, announced he needed another beer and headed to the kitchen. Ray looked across at Leonard, who was still pressed firmly against his side. He really was gorgeous. Pretty grey eyes, soft looking full, kissable pink lips that Ray could so easily…

“You heathens want anything?” Syd’s voice jerks Ray out of his stupor.

He pulls back from Leonard, and jumps to his feet, “Actually I’m going to take a shower.”

It’s a very, very cold shower.

---x

He meets a gorgeous young woman at the grocery store a few days later. They meet in the coffee aisle, while Ray is trying to find the only coffee that Sydney likes, and failing miserably.  

They end up going through all the different types, and Ray still can’t remember what the damn brand is. He doesn’t leave with the coffee, but he does leave with her number and plans to see a movie the next night.

---x

Lisa is amazing.

She’s smart, she’s strong, she knows what she wants, she’s exactly Ray’s type. They go out a few times, and they have a lot of fun together. They’ve spent a lot of time at her place, and Ray thinks it’s about time she see his place and - oh God - meet his brother.

He’s barely told Syd, and by extension Leonard, anything about her. Just that she’s a few years younger than him, she works in a jewelry store and he really likes her so please don’t fuck it up you assholes . Syd promises to behave. Leonard promises no such thing.

He greets her at the door of the house, takes the six pack she’s brought, and promises her they can totally leave and go back to hers if things get weird.

---x

Things get weird.

Lisa is Lisa Snart, Leonard’s baby sister and Leonard really isn’t sold on the idea of his sister dating his boyfriend’s brother. So much so that he threatens to stick the six pack up Ray’s ass, in one go.

Lisa points out that she’s a 30 year old woman, and is more than capable of making her own romantic choices. She takes a seat at the breakfast bar, and opens one of the beers.

“Now are we going to have dinner like civilised adults, or am I going to drag Ray up to his bedroom and scream oh so loud ...”

“Jesus, Lisa.” Leonard cuts her off and grabs a bottle of his own.

Dinner is weird. Ray can feel Leonard staring at him all night, his grey eyes are practically boring a hole through his skull as Ray tries to eat. Lisa is happily answering all of Syd’s questions, and making sure to be as touchy feely with Ray as she can. Ray can tell it’s mostly for show, to piss off her brother, but it’s kind of nice.

At the end of the night, Leonard insists on joining Lisa and Ray as they walk to the door. Ray feels like a kiss on the cheek is more appropriate with her brother watching. Lisa doesn’t agree, and pulls Ray into a proper, almost obscene kiss.

“See you later, lover.” She tells him as she pulls off, then looks to her brother, “Lenny.”

Leonard watches Ray as Lisa leaves the house. As soon as her cab has pulled off, and the door has closed, Leonard slams Ray against the wall.

“My sister is not a replacement for me, Raymond.” Leonard’s eyes never leave Ray’s. Ray wants to dispute him, to insist he isn’t trying to replace Leonard, but then she has the same full lips, the same grey eyes, the same slow smile and oh God .

Leonard flicks his eyes to Ray’s lips. God, Ray wants Leonard to kiss him, he wants to kiss him.

They’re saved from an awkward moment by Sydney calling them from the kitchen, reminding them he isn’t their maid.

Ray’s heart is pounding, and suddenly the air is too close. There’s a fraction of a smile on Leonard’s face, “I knew it.”

He heads off into the kitchen, leaving Ray to lean back against the wall in the hallway and catch his breath.

(He’s tormented by dreams of the Snart siblings that night, both of them making him come over and over again, hands, and tongue, and ass, and cunt. He wakes with Leonard’s name on his lips.)

---x

He and Lisa last about a month. It’s a great month, and they have a lot of fun together, but she can tell his heart isn’t in it. (He also manages to call her Leonard as she’s giving him an amazing blow job, which really puts a dampener on things). She tells him to stay in touch, and if things don’t work out with big brother to give her a call. She has toys .

Leonard is at the house when Ray slinks back in after breaking up with Lisa. He’s sat on the couch, another Star Trek episode playing. Ray goes and sits by him, slinking back into the couch. He hates the cool atmosphere that’s been between them since he found out about him and Lisa. They’ve barely spoken, and it’s made the atmosphere in the house super uncomfortable.

Ray sits and stares at the screen for a long time, not really taking too much in. Scotty’s giving it all he’s got, Spock’s being logical, something is happening, probably with a Romulan. It’s normally a Romulan.

“We broke up.” Ray’s voice is quiet.

Leonard doesn’t dignify him with a reply. They simply sit in silence, watching the rest of the episode. (It was a Romulan.)

“Yep.” Ray slaps his thighs, and gets up to his feet.

Leonard reaches up and grabs him round the wrist, pulls him back down to the sofa. Before Ray can ask him what’s happening, Leonard kisses him. Ray shouldn’t kiss him back, he should push him away and tell him that this is a mistake, that he’s just broken up with Lisa, that Leonard is dating his brother. This is so wrong.

But oh God, it’s so good. Leonard’s broad, and warm and soft and Ray wants to feel every inch of his skin.

Leonard pushes him back into the couch and swings his leg over Ray’s, to straddle his thighs. His eyes are blown, and he’s already breathing heavily. How long has Leonard been waiting for this? Does he even want this, or is this some kind of sick thank you for ending things with his sister?

Ray opens his mouth to ask him, but before he can get the words out, the front door opens and Syd is yelling for a little help. Leonard scrubs at his mouth, and pushes himself up off Ray.

And Ray is seriously fucking confused.

---x

Ray has three theories.

One, Leonard is a bastard who just wants to get laid, and while Syd’s working, Ray is the easiest target.

Two, Leonard just wants to give Ray a thrill, a little reward for not sleeping with his sister anymore.

And three, Leonard has feelings for Ray, but is an emotionally constipated idiot who can’t use his words.

(He’s almost certain it’s not three.)

(Ray is also an idiot.)

Unfortunately Leonard never seems too keen on talking about exactly what happens when they’re alone, so he can’t quite ascertain which one it is.

While Syd is out at work, and Leonard is supposed to be sleeping ready for his night shifts, Leonard is with Ray. It started with Leonard coming to him, pent up sexual tension being released with messy hand jobs, Ray pinned against whatever surface Leonard felt was suitable at the time. He’d get off, he’d shower, he’d go to bed, leaving Ray confused but so satisfied.

Over the weeks, it’s progressed. They spend long hours, holed up in Ray’s bed, where Leonard has taken Ray completely to pieces in a thousand different ways. They’ve laid together after, lazily kissing and tracing patterns across each other’s skin. Ray has kissed every scar, whispered a silent promise to hurt whoever placed them there. Leonard has laughed and told him you can’t hurt the dead. Ray’s heart has clenched, and Leonard had told him it was fine, distracting him with his mouth until Ray’s mind had gone blank.

Leonard has fallen asleep in his arms a few times, and Ray tries not to focus on those times, on how Leonard looks curled up next to him, how God , this feels so right. Leonard still goes back to Syd every night, and a little of Ray dies every time he does.

---x

“I think Len is cheating on me.” Syd announces one day, after he’s kissed Leonard goodbye.

Ray nearly chokes on the beer in his hand. He and Leonard had slept most of the day away together, curled tightly together, before he’d woken Leonard up by slowly, deeply fucking into him. It had been perfect .

Ray swallows his mouthful and turns to Syd, “How?”

“How?” Syd repeats.

Yeah, maybe it was a strange first question. Ray was just proud he hadn’t started laughing and saying well not with me hahaha I’m so innocent hey you wanna watch The OA?

“I mean, he’s in the house all day, and so am I. I never see him leave.” Ray clarifies.

“You think he couldn’t sneak past you? You’re pretty single minded when you’re on a project, Ray.”

To Sydney’s credit, Ray is laser focused. It just happens that at the moment, that laser focus is on Leonard. Best not tell his brother that though.

“Why do you think he’s cheating on you?” Ray asks, maybe if he can find out what he and Leonard are doing wrong, they can work on it.

And that’s when it hits Ray.

What they’re doing wrong is sleeping together, is hooking up behind his own brothers back and being fucking assholes. Ray is sleeping with his brothers boyfriend because of some stupid infatuation. Sydney is talking, and Ray can’t hear what he’s saying because the guilt has just hit him right in the chest. He feels sick, panicked, like he wants to cry.

He just registers a hand on his shoulder, and his name sounds far away. He hasn’t had an anxiety attack since he was in school, and now it’s all come flooding back. Luckily Sydney knows what to do, a glass of water, sit just within reach but don’t crowd him, talk him through breathing.

It feels like an eternity by the time Ray can see straight again and breathe without a reminder. He’s tired and he just wants to lie down, sleep but no dice.

“Raymond.” Syd never uses his full name unless things are serious. Ray’s too tired to panic again.

“I’m so sorry, Syd.”

---x

Sydney screams, and shouts. He tears into Ray and he calls him all the names under the sun. Ray sits there and takes it, because how deserves it. He’s disgusting. He could have pushed Leonard away, he could have stayed away, kept his little crush to himself and let his brother have this.

Syd gets pissed at him for not responding, for not yelling back at him and ends up storming out of the house.

Ray just folds in on himself on the couch, pulls his legs to his chest and closes his eyes.

---x

He wakes to Leonard and Sydney fighting. There’s a blanket over him, so he feels like maybe one of them still cares, just a little. A little is better than nothing, more than he deserves.

Sydney is accusing Leonard of seeing them as a conquest, make two twins fall in love with him, damn the bond he’s breaking. Leonard’s voice is calmer but no less biting, pointing out to Syd that this is the first time he’s said anything approaching I love you, then throwing it in his face that Ray never stops telling him.

(And how could he? Leonard is, was, is the only person he’s ever been so vocal about his feelings for.)

Sydney calls him sick, tells him he took advantage of Ray, that Ray wasn’t in his right goddamn mind and Ray knows that aside from being completely head over heels, that’s bullshit.

He can’t hear anymore. He pulls himself up off the couch and does the only thing he can. He gets the hell out of dodge.

---x

Three months later

Ray Palmer would like it to be known that Lisa Snart is an angel, and his best friend.

She’s pulled him off his ass after his break up with her brother, and his fall out with his own. She’s given him a place to stay, and kept Leonard away from him while he deals with his own shit. Leonard has been sent off to one of their mutual friends, and Lisa has visited him there, giving Ray a safe space of his own.

He’s spoken to Sydney exactly once, to tell him that he’s alive and that he’s safe. Sydney hadn’t replied in a particularly positive way initially, but had followed that up with a text telling him he’s glad he’s safe, and he doesn’t hate him, he just needs time.

It was better than Ray could have hoped for. His brother might be an asshole, but he’s still his brother, his twin.

His next step is Leonard.

He tried to tell himself that he didn’t want to see him, that his brother was more important and when push came to shove, Sydney was the one he needed to fix things with. His composure lasted two days, before he realised he was lying to himself.

Ray had never felt the way he felt about Leonard before. He’d never felt so alive, so like himself as he did in his arms. He missed him - God help him - more than he’d ever missed Sydney. He was supposed to feel like he’d lost a limb without his twin, instead he’d lost with heart without Leonard.

Lisa, as his new best friend, found this hilarious. They’re camped out on the couch, Ryan Gosling movie playing in the background, if you’re going to act like a mooning teenager, I’m going to treat you like one, while Ray bemoans his life.

“Oh honey.”

“I don’t think you realise how patronising that sounds.”

“Oh, I do.” She says, taking a drink from her glass of wine. She and her brother are more like twins than he and Sydney sometimes. She has the same tone Leonard has when he thinks you’re being an idiot.

She puts her wine down on the coffee table, “He misses you too, you know. You say the word, and I can get Lenny here lickity split.”

She snaps her fingers.

“Or you can keep whining, while he spends every day with a gorgeous fire chief who has had a crush on him for nearly 30 years.” Lisa continues, “Lenny does crazy things when he’s hurt.”

“Like me?”

“You’re one of the least crazy things he’s done.”

“Even if I did want to see him -”

“Which you do.” Lisa interrupts.

“Even if I did, I can’t just date my brothers ex. It’d be too weird.”

“Pft.” is Lisa’s eloquent response.

“My identical twin brothers ex.” Ray clarifies.

“Pft.”

“I take it back, you’re not my best friend anymore.” Ray steals her glass of wine. It’s easier than refilling his own. He’s broken hearted, opening a bottle is far too much effort.

“You’re overthinking this. You like him, he likes you. Maybe you hooked up in a pretty shitty way, but you can’t deny yourself happiness because of that.”

Lisa snatches her glass back, and makes sure to elbow him a little for good measure, “Besides, Lenny’s my big brother and I’ve sworn to kill anyone who hurts him. I’d hate to have to kill someone so cute.”

---x

They finish off two bottles of wine that night, and end up switching out The Notebook for some mindless superhero film. Ray tells Lisa he’d make an awesome superhero, he just needs to become a billionaire first. Lisa offers to help him rob a few banks to achieve his dream, so long as she can become his arch nemesis.

She falls asleep on top of him, snoring like a goddamn freight train and Ray is left staring at the Netflix menu screen, thinking about Leonard and Sydney and everything Lisa has said.

Leonard was still Sydney’s ex, and they still got together behind his back. If they’d met in a bar, or online or anywhere that wasn’t the breakfast bar of his house, with Sydney stood right there, then maybe things would have been different.

Leonard did make him happy. Leonard made him feel more alive than anyone had in so long. The last person he’d connected with like that had been Anna, and that -

Ray makes his choice.

---x

When Ray wakes up the next morning, there’s a pleasant weight draped across him, but something has definitely died in his mouth. The light is trying to get into his eyes and Ray thinks Lisa’s first action as supervillain should be blocking out the sun. He wouldn’t even try that hard to stop her. He wouldn’t call in scientists or anything.

There’s still snoring coming from his chest, and Ray opens his eyes to see a blanket monster laid on his stomach. Ray makes a move to sit up and the blanket monster grabs his arm.

“No.” Lisa’s voice groans, “I’m comfy.”

“I need to pee.”

“I don’t care.”

“ Lisa .” Ray whines.

She grunts and rolls off him, lands squarely on the floor and pulls the blanket further over her head.

“Make eggs while you’re up.”

Ray waves a dismissive hand, and trudges through the small apartment in the vague direction of the bathroom.

After peeing, brushing his teeth and throwing water at his face, he feels slightly more human. He can totally make eggs without burning down the entire apartment down, score one for Ray. He makes his way to the kitchen, and is half way through gathering the ingredients from the refrigerator when he realises he can smell coffee, and Lisa is definitely still asleep.

He shuts the refrigerator door, to see Leonard leaning against the sink with a mug of steaming black coffee in his hand.

“Raymond.”

The squeak that comes from Ray is definitely not masculine, and definitely going to be held against him in the future. The box of eggs falls from his hand, caught deftly by Leonard and placed on the side.

“Wh - how, when, why?” Ray stumbles over his words.

“Spare key, about 3AM, you called me.” Leonard says, counting the answers off on his fingers.

And it’s all coming back to him. As Lisa slept, he grabbed her phone from the table - figuring he’d be more likely to answer her number. He doesn’t remember exactly what he said, but he’s pretty certain it was a lot of -

God, Lenny… Leonard, not Lenny, never Lenny. Oh God, I’ve been around Lisa too long. Leonard, Leonard.

- embarrassing begging.

“You told me you loved me,” Leonard says, “Eventually. There was a lot of moaning my name, which would have been more enjoyable if you hadn’t been with my sister.”

“Nothing happened.”

“I came over before I lost my nerve - and I don’t lose my nerve, Raymond.” Leonard makes sure to look him in the eye as he confesses that,  “And you’d passed out with my sister. So I took her bed, and here I am, bright eyed and bushy tailed.”

“Leonard. I - “

Leonard puts his coffee down and quick as a flash, leans up to kiss Ray and shit -

They should talk, they need to talk but Ray can’t bring himself to break the moment. His hands grip Leonard’s waist and pulls him even closer to him, and Leonard’s arms snake around his neck.

God, it’s been so long, it’s been too long. Leonard feels goddamn perfect in his arms and how could he ever even think of giving this -

“Hey lovebirds? Eggs!”