Chapter 1: Frightening Surprises
Chapter Text
Gabriel can’t help but to stare through the window, keeping his gaze on the small form tucked into one of the corners furthers away from the door in the room on the other side. The kid is curled up, knees pressed against his chest and arms wrapped tightly around himself. He’s staring at the door beneath locks of hair so dirty the Blackwatch Commander can’t tell its colour.
The kid is just a teenager, seventeen at best. He’s small, dirty and malnourished. Hidden under the dirt, his skin is a mixture of blue, yellow and green, old bruises lapping with fresh ones. He shouldn’t be able to stand, much less throw a punch but he still managed to break MacKenzie’s nose.
And that was after he had taken down two of his other agents.
Gabriel watches the blood drip from the kid’s split knuckles for a moment, before he tears his gaze away and looks at his phone that is laying on the small table to his left. He needs to make the call, but something makes him hesitate. He’s not certain of the outcome the call will have and his not certain if he’s ready to find out.
Instead, he grabs the tray that holds his lunch and leaves the backroom. He walks up to the door and slowly opens it. Eyes immediately lock on to him, narrowed and distrustful. They are hidden in the shadow of the kid’s wild hair, making it hard for Gabriel to make out their real colour.
He walks over to the corner where the kid is sitting and lowers himself to the floor, a few feet away as to not crowd the teenager. He places the tray down on the floor and pushes it closer to the boy. It’s simple, just a ham sandwich with a package of juice and an apple.
The teenager stares at him, before his gaze flickers to the tray of food. Gabriel sees his hands tightening around his knees, but he makes no move to grab it. Instead, his narrowed gaze refocuses on Gabriel and he curls up further. The Blackwatch Commander can hear the kid’s stomach growl from where he sits. He had thought the teenager would throw himself at the food, but he only glanced at it.
“It’s not poisoned, if that’s what you're worried about.”
The kid says nothing and his eyes narrows further. He tries to scoot away, but the corner traps him where he is. Gabriel sees the kid’s gaze flicker to the door behind him and he knows the teenager is wondering if he could make an escape. He also knows the kid will never make it. Even if the kid has the strength to try, he would never make it across the room before Gabriel would have him pinned on the floor.
“Give it up, kid. You’re not going anywhere.”
The kid actually flinches and Gabriel feels something settle in his chest, cold and heavy. The anger slips from the teenager’s expression, replaced by a look of utter defeat. The kid knows he’s trapped with no way of escape. So instead of fighting back, he just gives up. The fight leaves him like a flame flickering out by a gust of air, leaving a charred wick of a broken candle.
Gabriel’s heart bleeds. He is only a kid and there is no life in his eyes.
The Blackwatch Commander reaches forward and nudges the tray closer once more. This time, the kid’s eyes don’t even flicker towards the food. Instead, it remains locked onto his knees as blood still drips from his knuckles down onto the floor.
Gabriel almost sighs, he doesn’t but it’s a close thing. He spares a thought to wonder if the kid even can speak, but he pushes it away as soon as it arrives. When they had been able to apprehend the teenager, he had spit at them in both English and Spanish the way only those who grew up with it knew.
The Commander closes his eyes for a second, thoughts drifting back to the moments before they had come across the teenager. Back to what they had found beneath the old barn. Gabriel almost wishes he could forget it, almost, but he also knows it will be no use to try. What he saw will stay with him for years, perhaps even for the rest of his life.
Because what they had found hidden beneath those old floorboards had been horrifying.
It had been unnatural.
The Blackwatch Commander lets his gaze sweep across the room, distantly taking note of the numbers of bodies. He had hoped there would still be a few left alive to bring in for interrogation, as had been their orders, but Gabriel had not counted on the members loyalty to Deadlock.
Cyanide pills were too easy to hide and worked far too quickly.
“Boss, you gotta see this!”
Gabriel shoots a glance over his shoulder, out through the broken door, and sees Delgado waving to him from the barn. Taking one last look around the room, the Commander turns and leaves the house. He makes a short distance from the rundown house to the barn and follows his agent.
He spots the trapdoor almost instantly, guarded by three other agents. He spares them a glance and takes note to their expressions. They look disturbed and it almost makes him hesitate. It takes a lot to cause his men such distress that it shows on them.
Pushing his hesitation away, he steps down the wooden stairs and finds himself in a large room. His boots hits metal and he slowly walks out onto a steel bridge that is suspended from the roof. Once he crosses half way, he stops and stares.
He understands why his agents had looked so disturbed.
Below the bridge, there is a structure. It reminds him of an illegal dog fighting ring, but there is something off about it. It is far too large, the walls around the ring made out of reinforced steel and far too high to be for dogs. There are steel bars bending over the fighting area of the ring, creating a sort of grating structure on top of the ring.
A platform went around the whole thing and was clearly meant to be for spectators, along with the bridge he is currently standing on. The platform, unlike the bridge, was made out wood. It’s worn and stained, a few blanks broken. It’s used.
He lets his gaze wander and spots the doors. There are two of them, parallel to each other. They are almost as high as they are wide, too large for even the biggest breed of dog. It is large enough for him to stand, if opened, in them with headroom to spare. Hell, even Reinhardt would be able to squeeze through.
They are too big.
And everything, aside from the platform, is made out of metal. No cardboard, no wood, no plastic.
Just metal.
Gabriel tries to force the foul taste in his mouth back.
This isn’t just a fighting ring. This is a fighting cage.
And whatever had happened inside the cage, Deadlock had gone to great lengths to insure it stayed inside the cage.
“Hey Boss, we found some-augh!”
Gabriel spins around just in time to see Delgado fall to the ground, a small knife protruding from his left knee. He sees Noir stumble next and manages to spot something to the right of her, before that something moves and Noir hits the ground with a screwdriver lodged into her right thigh and a scissor buried into her left shoulder.
He vaults over the railing of the bridge and hits the ground just in time to see whoever successfully attacked his agents, sprint towards the stairs leading back up to the barn. He runs after, but the person is fast and disappears up the stairs before Gabriel reaches them. He takes two steps at the time and curses as he hears commotion from the topside.
He almost leaps from the hole in the floor but stumbles to a stop at the scene he comes across.
Blood drips from MacKenzie’s face, the man’s nose bent to the side in an unnatural angle. It’s broken in at least two different places and Gabriel knows, had a bit more force been applied, the man would be dead.
He is kneeling on the ground, clutching at his face as crimson runs between his fingers. He curses and swears, but makes no movement to get up. The Blackwatch Commander understands why, the pain must be disorienting.
Gabriel snaps his gaze away from his agent and focuses on his other two still standing. They are hunched over, pinning the person to their knees as they snarl and spit. Gabriel steps forward and opens his mouth, but it snaps shut when the person is yanked back and he finally gets a good look on said person.
It’s a teenager.
Chapter 2: Uncertain Future
Summary:
Gabriel realize the situation just keeps getting better and better.
Notes:
Yay, next chapter is done.
And I'm so happy!!First of, I want to thank everyone for all the support and wonderful comments I have recieved so far. I was so surprised when I found just how many enjoys this story. I know I have replyed to every wonderful and kind comment I have gotten, but I just wanted everyone to know how thankful I am for all of your support.It feels amazing. So thank you all, I hope I will be able tp meet your expectations in the comming chapters.
Now, prepare for feels!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Gabriel snaps his gaze away from his agent and focuses on his other two still standing. They are hunched over, pinning the person to their knees as they snarl and spit. Gabriel steps forward and opens his mouth, but it snaps shut when the person is yanked back and he finally gets a good look on said person.
It’s a teenager.
A small sound snaps him out of the memory and as he refocuses on the teenager, his hearts aches as he spots the tears running down the kid’s cheeks. They are silent, not a single sound making its way past the tightly sealed lips. They are big, creating streaks in the dirt that clings to the kid’s skin and Gabriel blinks.
The kid has freckles.
Angel kisses, his mother had called them.
Gabriel sighs and looks away for a moment, collecting himself. A part of him wants nothing more than gather the kid up in his arms and hold him, hold him until all the pain goes away. He wants to promise the kid that nothing will happen to him, that he’s finally safe.
But the other part of him, knows he can’t make that promise. He has his orders and is expected to follow them. He wants to help, so badly but he isn’t sure what he can do. He might be the Commander of Blackwatch but there are still people with higher power than him, people who doesn’t care.
He turns back to the kid and sets his jaw. He still has a job to do.
“Listen here, kid. You’re in deep trouble; we both know this so there’s no denying it.” He narrows his eyes. “What I want to know is your rank in Deadlock and what you know about the organisation.”
There’s no response. The kid only curls up into a tight ball and hides his face in his folded arms. His shoulders shake slightly, but he still makes no sound.
Gabriel’s glare falters for a second, before he manages to force it back. He leans forward, lowering his voice.
“Here’s the deal, kid; you give me what I want and perhaps I might be able to help you in return.
That gets him a reaction. The kid’s shoulders tense up in a second and his hands tightens around his knees, knuckles growing white underneath the blood. Slowly, after several moments of hesitation, he lifts his head and looks at the Blackwatch Commander. His eyes are large and red, tears gathered in the corners.
Gabriel spots a small flicker of hope.
A part of the Blackwatch Commander, the hardened soldier part of him, wants to smirk at finally getting a reaction from the kid. But the other part of him, the part that hates the situation, keeps the smirk away.
He sees the kid swallow thickly once and lick his chapped lips, before his mouth finally opens.
“...ye can?”
The voice is small and strained, thick with dryness. It cracks and Gabriel prays it’s from a lack of use, instead from a young age. If that is the case, the kid is still in puberty. The thought makes his skin crawl and his heart aches.
But he forces himself to ignore it, to push his feelings aside. Instead, he leans back slightly and nods.
“Sure.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Can’t promise you any miracles, kid, but I might be able to make your life easier.”
He watches as the teenager slowly uncurls slightly, knuckles loosing around knees and hands moving to rest on top of them. He stares for a long moment and tilts his head, like Gabriel is a puzzle he doesn’t understand. The action causes his hair slides out of his face and for the first time since they found the teenager, Gabriel spots the colour of those orbs that is now solely focused on him.
They are a warm brown, despite the redness from the previous tears, and they remind Gabriel of the hot chocolate his mother used to make on the nights they spent awake, stargazing. But as he focuses, he stops and blinks at what he sees.
Among the brown, there is specks of gold.
It shocks him, to the point where he startles and almost falls to his back. He knows he stares, but he can’t force himself to look away. The kid keeps his gaze locked with the Commander’s and Gabriel swears he sees the gold flicker, like a flame amongst the warm brown.
Gabriel has never seen eyes like this before.
It shocks him more than he wants to admit but at the same time he finds himself wondering; was the kid born with them or has something else played part in those specks of gold?
He refocuses on the teenager, who is still staring at him. He can still see the fear, but curiosity has pushed most of it away. The way the kid is looking at him, it makes Gabriel swallow thickly.
He looks so very young.
“...what do ye want to know?”
Gabriel can hear the drawl in the kid’s voice from the longer sentence, a southern twist between the cracks.
He shrugs his shoulders.
“Anything you can tell us. Hideouts, deals, ranks, that sort of things.”
The kid looks thoughtful for a moment and Gabriel can see the hesitation. He knows this time it isn’t because of him, but because of the Deadlock gang. The kid is clearly a member, at least to some degree, and Gabriel knew the gang expected nothing else but total loyalty. He has seen the punishment that comes from breaking the loyalty most gangs demands more times than he cares to admit.
He knows the kid has too.
But he wants the kid to break that loyalty, wants him to tell him.
Because he told the truth.
He can’t help the teenager if he refuses to cooperate. He can’t do anything if the kid refuses to give him something to work with. If he doesn’t, Gabriel will have no other choice to walk out the door and send the teenager to prison. To be locked up for the rest of his life.
And the thing is, Gabriel doesn’t want to send the kid to prison.
The kid’s eyes locks with his once again, cracked lip being chewed between two rows of surprisingly white teeth.
“...don’t really know all that much.”
It’s a lie and they both know it. Gabriel can see it in the kid’s eyes, in his body language, hear it in his voice. It makes him frown and the teenager actually flinches, pushing himself further back into the wall. His legs press closer to his chest and hands once again tighten around his knees.
The movement causes the caked skin on his knuckles to reopen, blood running down his fingers until it falls to the floor. It starts a new puddle of red beside an already dried one. The first old and dark, the other fresh and bright.
Gabriel stares at the teenager, the heavy feeling that had formed in the pit of his stomach some time ago making itself known again. It swirls and grows as the kid curls in on himself again, making himself smaller. As he tries to hide from the rest of the world.
As he tries to hide from Gabriel.
The sight almost makes the Blackwatch commander want to scream.
He knows the teenager should fear him, most people he meets does, but the kid’s reaction to being caught lying was too extreme. Criminal or not, the kid should not have acted like he expected Gabriel to strike him.
And the reaction had been natural, trained.
Such reaction was only learned over a certain amount of time, until it became a second nature. And it had been the kid’s first reaction. Not to continue to lie or deny, but to curl up and wait for the blow.
The blow that will never come.
The blow the kid is still expecting.
Gabriel bits his lip and leans away, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks back at the kid and leans forward, but only to make himself appear smaller. He folds arms across his crossed legs and lets his shoulders drop. As he speaks, his voice is soft.
“How old are you, Niño?”
The teenager’s head snaps up, eyes wide with something Gabriel doesn’t want to put a name to. The kid stares at him for a long moment, never uncurling, before he finally speaks.
“What day is it?”
Gabriel swallows at the question, the heavy feeling in his stomach growing twice as large, but he answers anyway.
“12th November.”
The kid blinks once and then shrugs his shoulders, before he lowers his gaze to the floor.
“...then I guess ‘m thirteen.”
Notes:
So that was chapet two. Tell me what you think.
Also, I'm aware that most of the fandom pictures Gabe finding Jesse when he's seventeen and I usually do too.
But for this story I decided to lower his age by a few years, because in my mind it works better with the ideas i have planned in later chapters.Also, fair warning. I suck at writing dialect with any sort of accent, but I will try really hard to get it right. So please, if someone is willing to tell me more about it as the story moves further on, please do. I wish to learn.
Until next time.
Hugs to y'all!!
Chapter 3: Fallen World
Summary:
The world slowly comes back into focus.
Before it comes crashing down all together.
Notes:
Soooo, next chapter is out and I hate to admit it but this one took longer to write than I liked.
But I have been working a lot and I have now been sick a whole week. And I fucking hate being sick.
I don't get sick often, thank god, but when I do it often punches me to the floor. I haven't left the house more than once in an entire week and even then I didn't want to go. But I had buy food and I had to argue with myself for like an hour that 'no, rice cakes and tea can not be called a full meal plan, get the fuck up and pull on some pants.'
Because apperently, my pyjamas shorts are not suitable for shopping according to my mom.But anyways, I want to thank everyone for their comments and amazing feedback which I have not taken into account so hopefully I have improved on that bit.
So enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“What day is it?”
Gabriel swallows at the question, the heavy feeling in his stomach growing twice as large, but he answers anyway.
“12th November.”
The kid blinks once and then shrugs his shoulders, before he lowers his gaze to the floor.
“...then I guess ‘m thirteen.”
Gabriel feels like someone has stabbed him in the chest. He sucks in a breath, but it feels like his lungs have stopped working. His inside feels frozen, like he has swallowed a whole bucket of ice water. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t seem to make his body respond. It ignores his mind as he stares at the teenager and it hits him harder than he wants it to.
The kid in front of him is just a teenager.
The kid in front of him is just thirteen.
The boy is just that, a boy. Too young to be on his own, much less be a part of a gang such as Deadlock. He shouldn’t be a part of any gang. He should be with his family, going to school like a normal teenager.
And yet, here he was. Stuck in an interrogation cell with the Commander of Blackwatch.
It makes Gabriel feel sick to his core.
He swallows thickly and licks his lips, before he forces his voice to work again.
“...you’re thirteen?” He pushes back the crack that threatens to fill his voice. “Today?”
The kid doesn’t answer for a long moment, just continues to focus on the floor. His shoulders are raised in a try of defend himself, but they drop as a sigh escapes his lips. He slowly looks back at the Blackwatch Commander and nods.
“...yeah, ’m thirteen.” He blinks, as if it only now sinks in. “...today.”
“What a way to spend your birthday.” Gabriel mutters quietly.
The kid makes a sound between a scoff and a snort and Gabriel sees his mouth twitch into what could have been a sneer, but it disappears before it has a chance to settle.
“...yeah, ain’t the worst though.”
Gabriel doesn’t know what to say to that. Doesn’t think there is anything he can.
The kid leans back against the wall and turns his eyes to the roof, his gaze growing distance and unfocused. All the fight seems to leave him in an instance and he curls in on himself, tucking himself closer to the wall. He turns slightly so his side is directed towards Gabriel, instead the front of him, and his gaze lands on his knees. They stay unfocused.
Gabriel takes notice how the kid never turns his back to him.
How he never leaves himself open to an attack from behind.
“What were you doing in a gang, Niño?” Gabriel keeps his voice soft.
The kid’s gaze flickers to him, before it returns to focus on the wall in front of him and his lips clamps shut. His eyes narrows as his fingers digs into the fabric of his torn jeans, tearing small holes in the worn fabric. Gabriel is surprised they even stay intact, the piece of clothing so worn they can hardly still be called pants.
He waits from the teenager to speak, waits to have his question answered.
Because he wants to know.
He needs to know.
Several minutes of tense silence passes between them, before the teenager finally speaks. When he does, his voice is quite and strained, as if the answer hurts.
“Been there since I was five.” He shrugs. “Stayed with my folks before that.”
Gabriel realizes that, in fact, the answer hurts. It burns in his chest, wrapping around his heart and squeezes until it feels like his heart is going to burst. He wants to stop, but he needs to know, needs to get answers. So he presses on, despite everything telling him to stop.
That he doesn’t want to know.
But what he needs and wants are two very different things.
“Your parents?”
The kid actually flinches, but his eyes narrows and Gabriel sees a flicker of something. He sees something that wasn’t there before.
He can’t put a name on it, because there isn’t one. Rather than one emotion, there are several. They dance together like flames in those brown orbs and Gabriel swears he sees the kid’s eyes flash amber.
He spots anger.
Bitterness.
Rejection.
Hopelessness.
Fear.
He spots sorrow.
But most of all, he spots agony.
“Kid?”
The teenager’s head snaps up so fast Gabriel actually worries about whiplash, but startles back when the kid hisses at him. His body once again faces the Blackwatch Commander and Gabriel spots the same rage in the kid’s expression from when they had just caught him.
The kid isn’t scared anymore. He’s angry.
And he’s ready to fight.
“The fuck do ya care?!”
The kid’s voice is dripping with venom and if looks could kill, Gabriel would already be six feet under. It’s a look no child should be able to pull, much less so expertly.
Had Gabriel been anyone else, he might have been scared.
The Blackwatch commander raises his hands in a peaceful gesture and leans back slightly, giving the kid a bit more space.
“Okay, Niño, let’s just-“
“Shut up!”
Gabriel’s eyes widens as the kid shoots to his feet faster than he should have been able to. He stands over the Blackwatch Commander and Gabriel wonders for a second if the kid is going to attack. But the teenager doesn’t move forward, he stays in the corner with his hands drawn into tight fists by his sides.
“Stop calling me that!” His hands rise to pull at his hair, strands of dirty brown falling to floor. “Shut up! Just shut up! Ya can’t call me that!”
Gabriel quickly moves to his feet and grabs hold of the teenager’s wrist before the kid can hurt himself. But he isn’t fast enough.
Broken fingernails has already dug into the scalp before he manages to pull them away, creating small nicks that caused blood mix with hair and dirt. It bleeds more than it should, but the kid’s scalp is dry and the skin has cracked from the rough treatment. The small wounds are still larger than they should have been.
The kid tries to pull away, but the fight is quickly leaving him. He’s too tired, too exhausted to continue. Gabriel lets go of the thin wrists and the kid takes a step forward to beat at his chest. Gabriel is surprised that it actually kind of hurts, in a dull annoying way. But he lets the kid continue and the blows soon slow before they stop completely.
They stand that for a long moment, the only sound the kid’s laboured breathing. Gabriel stares at the wall in front of him while the kid hangs his head, eyes closed tightly. No one moves as the minutes tick by with either of them noticing. The rest of the world doesn’t exist to the two of them, not at that time.
Finally, Gabriel moves. He raises both his hands and carefully places them of the kid’s shoulders. He feels the tense, the kid growing stiff beneath his hands and for a moment he wonders if the teenager is going to pull away.
But he doesn’t.
He doesn’t relax, but he doesn’t move away from the touch. He stays where he is, so small the top of his head barley reaches to Gabriel's chest.
“...”
Gabriel blinks and looks down at the kid, who has opened his eyes but is still staring at the floor. His shoulders tremble and he swallows, licking his chapped lips.
“What was that, kid?” Gabriel asks softly.
The world slowly comes back into focus.
“My folks...they sold me.”
Before it comes crashing down all together.
Notes:
So what do you all think?
Keep telling me people!!
Hugs to y'all!!
Chapter 4: Making Promises
Summary:
Rules be damned.
Gabriel has always known they are meant to be broken.
Notes:
Surprise! Next chapter is already out. I was able to finish it much sooner than I had expected so, BASK IN MY GENEROSIRY!
But seriously, I'm so happy for all the wonderful comments I have gotten so I decided to post the next chapter even if I posted chapter three only two days ago.So enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The world slowly comes back into focus.
“My folks...they sold me.”
Before it comes crashing down all together.
Gabriel can’t move. No matter how hard he wishes he could, his body will not move. All he can do is to stare at the teenager. He doesn’t want to believe what he has just been told, but he knows it’s the truth. The kid has no reason to lie to him and even if he did, Gabriel can tell the kid isn’t lying.
Not this time.
How Gabriel wishes he was.
The Blackwatch Commander swallows and finally finds his voice.
“...they what?”
The kid lets out a noise that isn’t quite a sob, but close to it. His eyes close and this time he doesn’t fight the tears. They slide down his cheeks like small rivers, before they fall to the floor. The trembling of his shoulders increases and his hands rise to clutch his shirt over his chest. He sucks in a wobbly breath and as he speaks, his voice cracks.
“T-they s-sold me, wh-whe-whe-wh-“
The kid is beginning to hyperventilate when Gabriel pulls him close, wrapping his arms around the trembling teenager. The kid freezes as he’s pressed to the Blackwatch Commander’s chest, his arms trapped between the two of them. His eyes are wide, staring into the dark fabric of the Commander’s hoodie.
They stay like that for a long moment, before the teenager finally crumbles. A sob tears through his throat and he shuts his eyes tightly. He buries his face in the centre of the Commander’s chest and his arms hesitantly wraps around the man, before his hands grip the black hoodie like he expects the man do vanish into thin air if he lets go.
Gabriel just draws the teenager closer and raises his hand to cradle the back of the kid’s head, murmuring softly as the teenager lets himself break.
He wonders if this is the kid’s first time being comforted in a long time.
He wonders if this is the kid’s first time being comforted.
He suspects it is.
As the sobbing turns to wails, they sink to the floor. Gabriel never lets the kid go, never pushes him away. He holds on as the kid’s curls in on himself, in a try to hide himself away from the world and Gabriel is more than happy to aid him. He shuts his eyes as the kid wails and scream, as the small body tremble in his arm.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please! Don’t! Please don’t! I’m sorry!”
The kid screams himself hoarse, shouting pleads Gabriel knows isn’t meant for him.
It takes several minutes before the kid’s starts to calm down and his sobs turns to hiccups. He doesn’t move away, remaining in the Commander’s arms as he gasps for breaths. Silence passes between them and Gabriel almost startles as the teenager suddenly speaks, voice frail and broken.
“T-they sold me when I was five!” He sobs. “T-they didn’t want m-me! They w-wanted drugs! Not m-me!”
Gabriel grits his teeth in anger and wishes the kid’s parents stood in front of him, just so he could rain Hell on them.
Who sold their own child?
He draws the kid closer, even if it’s not really possible and runs his fingers through the dirty locks.
“I’m sorry, Niño. I really am.”
The teenager just sobs, but then draws a shuttering breath and pulls back slightly. Gabriel is reluctant to let go, but he does and then watches the kid. His head hangs in defeat, locks of dirty brown shielding his expression from being seen. His hands lay in his lap, forming weak fists and he hunches forward slightly. It as if he doesn’t want to leave the safety of the Blackwatch Commander’s arms but forces himself to.
The kid draws a few more breath and sniffs. The trembles are still there, but much less violent and every few seconds a tear falls to the floor.
“...’m ready now.”
Gabriel blinks, before his eyebrows furrow in confusion. He reaches out to place his hand on the kid’s shoulder, but stops as the teenager flinches. His hand hovers over the kid’s shoulder and as he sees the teenager begin to tense up again, he pulls his hand back.
He bites his lip as the feeling in stomach increases. It forces him to stop for a moment, because he isn’t sure he will be able to handle the question he is about to ask. He isn’t sure he will be able to handle the answer the kid will give him.
He looks at the kid and frowns sadly.
This wasn’t how he had expected the mission to go. He had expected it to go like every other else, quick and simple. Never could he have anticipated finding a thirteen year old among the ranks of Deadlock, beaten and defeated.
He could never have anticipated finding a fifteen year old who had been sold to the gang at the age of five.
Sold by his parents because they had cared more about drugs than their own son.
Gabriel knows the world is a dark place, but it has been a long time since he was this disgusted by it.
He has seen a lot of horror in his years and still does daily, but this still rattles him in a way he isn’t used to. Because he doesn’t understand it, he can’t even begin to fathom how someone could do something like this to their own child.
It sickens him.
“Ready for what, Niño?”
He keeps his voice low and soft, but the kid still flinches. It isn’t as violet as it was, but the action is still there. It takes all of his self-restraint not to scoop the kid into his arms and hold him until the kid stops being afraid.
Until the world grows more kind.
The kid swallows and actually raises his head enough to meet Gabriel's gaze with his own for a brief second, before he turns his eyes back to the floor. He draws a breath, as deep as he can manage but it still falters. Then he opens his mouth and as he speaks, Gabriel can hear the heavy defeat in his voice.
The kid has completely given up.
“...I can tell ya what I know about Deadlock...but it ain’t gonna be much.” He pauses and Gabriel can see how he steels himself. “But...but can ya promise me something first?”
His eyes rise again, they are pleading and Gabriel’s heart aches. He knows there are rules, orders he is expected to follow. He’s aware what he told the kid before, that they could help each other out.
But he hadn’t been completely honest. Yes, he might have been able to pull some strings but in the end, there wouldn’t be much he could do. Whatever the teenager wanted to ask about, Gabriel knew he might not be able to promise him anything.
He hadn’t been from the start.
But he wanted to.
“What is it?”
But the kid shakes his head.
“N-no, ya have to promise me.”
Gabriel opens his mouth.
“...please.”
Before snapping it shut again. He hesitates as the kid’s trembling picks up again and a fresh sob breaks free.
It takes him a moment, but then he makes a choice.
“Yeah, Niño. I promise.”
He sees the teenager’s shoulders slump with relief and he knows he made the right decision, rules be damned.
The kid’s nods, mostly to himself, before he draws a shuddering breath and pulls himself up slightly. It makes Gabriel want to smile but he forces it back. The kid is, despite everything, trying to be brave.
Gabriel already knows he is.
But the kid surprises him when he raises his head to meet the gaze of the Blackwatch Commander. His eyes are red fro crying and there a far more tear-tracks on his cheeks, revealing several more freckles across his skin.
“When ya kill me,” His voice doesn’t waver. “Promise ya will do it quickly.”
Notes:
The story thickens!
Now, I can't promise the next chapter will be out as quickly as this one, but I hope you all understand.
While you wait on that, please tell me what you think.Hugs to y'all!
Chapter 5: Time's Running Out
Summary:
“Never mattered what I wanted. Aint gonna change now.”
“And what is it that you want, kid?”
Notes:
Okay, first of all I just want to say how overwhelmed I was by all the comments from the last chapter. I posted it and just a few hours later my phone lit up with notifications of comments. I just couldn't believe how many actually liked my story. I swear, every comment I read I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. becuase I was just so happy and you're all amazing.
And I would also want to apologize for taking so long to post this chapter but it couldn't be helped I'm afraid. I went away on a small vacation and once I was home I needed to rest up from that because, I kid you not, it was the worst vacation I have ever been on. I know it sounds horrible for me to say, because there is so many people who can't even afford going in vacation.
But it really was bad for me. My family was fighting all the time and there were large crowds everywhere and everything was so loud, and there weren't much for me to eat because I have all these allergies. I was ready to go home on the second day and it really was the most stressful "vacation" I have ever experienced.But it's all good now and hopefully I can get back to updating more often.
But until next time, enjoy this for now!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“When ya kill me,” His voice doesn’t waver. “Promise ya will do it quickly.”
Gabriel startles so badly he actually squeaks. It’s high and loud, like a dog toy. It surprises him and it surprises the kid so much the teenager actually jumps back, falling to his back. The kid’s eyes are so large it’s almost comical and he stares at the Blackwatch Commander with such mixed emotions Gabriel wants nothing to pull his beanie over his face so he can hide in shame.
Instead he crawls forward and the teenager scoots backwards in panic until his back hits the wall. But Gabriel reaches out and, ignoring the kid’s flinch, he grabs hold of the bony shoulders. The kid looks so scared, but there is also confusion mixed in his expression. The whole situation clearly confuses him and he doesn’t know how to handle it.
Gabriel almost want to shake the kid but he refrains himself from doing so, it will do nothing to help the teenager feel less afraid.
“Why would you ask for that?” His voice almost cracks. “Out of everything, why that? What about some protection? What about freedom?”
The fear slowly ebbs away from the kid’s expression, leaving behind only deep confusion. The teenager is staring at him as if he’s speaking a different language. He just frowns for a long moment and as he opens his mouth, Gabriel can hear the hesitation in his words.
“But...I have nowhere to go.” He blinks. “And why wish for somethin’ I can’t have.”
He sits up a little bit more and his eyes harden with superstition, mixing with the confusion.
“Ain't that what ya’ll came here to do? To kill us off?”
Gabriel wants so badly to lie, but finds that he can’t. Yes, he can come up with some shit story about how the rest of Deadlock is already behind bars, but something tells him the kid already knows everyone else is already dead. The teenager will see through the lie, if Gabriel allows it to pass his lips.
And he also finds that he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to lie to the kid, doesn’t want to give him empty promises.
So he won’t.
He opens his mouth to speak, only to stop as there is a knock on the door. Both of them startle and Gabriel looks over his shoulder. He feels the kid zero in on it as well and spots in the corner of his eyes how the teenager presses himself closer to the wall. The fear is back in his eyes and Gabriel almost wants to snarl in frustration
Instead, he lets go of the kid and stands up. He turns towards the door and takes a step so he stands in front of the teenager, effectively shielding him. He feels the kid’s eyes on him, can sense the confusion. He hears the kid scoot a little to the left so he’s even more hidden and Gabriel crosses his arms over his chest, levelling the door with a glare.
“Enter.”
The door opens slightly and MacKenzie sticks his head through the small gap. The man’s nose is taped but Gabriel can still spot the bruising beneath the white tape. He doesn’t seem faced by the Commander’s glare and only sends the other man a smirk.
“Hey, Boss. Just making sure you haven’t been murdered in here.”
Gabriel arches an eyebrow.
“Your admiration in my capabilities is astonishing, MacKenzie.”
His agent chuckles with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Now don’t be like that, Boss. The kid packs a punch.”
Gabriel feels the kid flinch behind him and his eyes narrows further, his voice taking on a dangerous tone as he addresses his agent once more.
“Is there another reason for your interruption other than making sure I wasn’t dead?”
MacKenzie actually hesitates and something deep in Gabriel’s churns alive.
“Actually Boss, Big Blue has called four times in an hour.”
Gabriel swallows.
Fuck.
He’s in trouble.
He gathers enough courage to glance at the clock hanging on the wall and nearly winces.
He should have called in hours ago.
He turns back to MacKenzie.
“What did he say?”
“If you don’t call him in the next hour, he will fly out and kick your ass himself.”
Shit.
Gabriel knows it’s not an empty threat, it’s a promise. And getting his ass handed to him was not something he had the time to deal with right now.
But the thing is, he’s not ready to end the mission yet. There is still one thing he needs to handle.
And that something is currently hiding behind him.
He glances over his shoulder and his hearts aches. The kid has scooted back into the corner and has once more curled up, his arms wrapped around his legs that are pressing against his chest. His shoulders are taunt and his head is lowered to his chest in an attempt to make himself appear smaller.
But this time, his eyes are focused on MacKenzie, rather than the Commander. His eyes are narrowed beneath locks of brown and Gabriel can spot the fear in them from where he’s standing.
He looks as if he expects MacKenzie to sprint into the room and strangle him if he looks away.
Gabriel wishes he could take all that fear and crush it, bury it where it can never be found again.
Gabriel turns his attention to the floor for a moment as his thoughts run wild. He knows he has to make the call if he wants to avoid a disaster but at the same time, the thought of leaving the kid alone again doesn’t sit well with him. He has gotten somewhere with the teenager and he fears that if he walks out now, it will all be for nothing. He can’t allow that to happen.
The kid can’t be left alone, but Gabriel also isn’t comfortable with having someone else stay with the kid. He knows the teenager won’t tell them anything and he knows he can’t be sure his agents won’t lay a hand on the kid, not after what he did to them.
The Blackwatch Commander sighs heavily and rubs the back of his neck. He looks towards his agent and waves a hand in dismissal.
“Give me half an hour.”
MacKenzie nods without a word and slips out of the room, but not before he shoots a glance at the teenager. Gabriel sees a flicker in the other man’s eyes and almost allows a smile to pass his lips.
MacKenzie has always had a soft spot for kids.
Taking a second to steel himself, Gabriel turns back to the teenager and must force a smile back once more. The kid has uncurled, no longer trying to hide. Instead, he leans back against the wall with his arms resting on top of his knees, his head tilted to the side as he blinks at the now closed door.
He no longer tries to hide.
Brown eyes flickers over to him and Gabriel arches an eyebrow as the kid stares at him in what he can only make out to be confusion.
“Ya’re not gonna let him beat me up?”
Gabriel recoils slightly and draws a breath that lodges itself in his throat. The teenager continues to stare at him like he expects an answer, but Gabriel finds himself unable to speak. Because the kid doesn’t look scared, he actually looks fucking confused to why he wasn’t beaten up by a man more than twice his size.
Because he expected it to happen.
He expected Gabriel to allow it to happen.
Just what the hell has this kid been through?
Gabriel isn’t sure he wants the answer. He isn’t sure he can bear it.
“Why the Hell would I let him do that?”
The kid just shrugs and focuses his attention on his hands instead. His knuckles have stopped bleeding and the blood has started crusting over the split skin. He rubs at it, not hard enough to reopen it but firm enough to make some of the crust fall to the floor.
Gabriel watches it fall before he sinks to the floor. He sits with his legs crossed and lets his arms rest comfortably in his lap. He knows he should be walking out the door to make the call, but he still can’t make himself leave.
So he doesn’t.
“We made a deal, kid. What can you tell me?”
The teenager doesn’t say anything for the longest moment and Gabriel doesn’t push him. The kid’s shoulder’s slump as he sighs and he leans his head back until it rests against the wall. He stares up at the roof of the room, his eyes glazed over and lost.
“I really don’t know much. Ain’t high enough on the food chain for that kind of info. But,” He pauses and swallows. “But there is a hideout in the mountains, in the east from here. The entrance is hidden behind a rock that’s between two dead trees at the foot of the mountain. Ya can probably find out more shit if ya go there.”
Gabriel nods as the teenager falls silent, storing the information away in the depths of his mind. He will handle it later, when his current situation is resolved.
He focuses on the kid as the teenager lets out a sighs. The kid doesn’t move, but his head lowers slightly so their eyes meet.
“I kept my part of the deal.”
Gabriel nods.
“You did.”
The kid doesn’t even blink.
“Ya gonna keep yars?”
Gabriel finds no words.
The teenager looks at him with a face that lacks any real emotions. Instead, he just looks tired. His eyes close halfway and a smile makes its way to his lips, but it’s a smile that makes Gabriel want to scream.
“Yeah,” The kid scoffs as he turns his head to look at the wall to his right. “I figured ya wouldn’t.”
Gabriel tries to speak, but his tongue is too thick in his mouth. They sit in silence for a long moment, before Gabriel finally is able to find his voice. When he speaks, his voice is quite.
“You really want to die, kid?”
He sees the kid blink before those brown orbs turns their focus back on him. The kid moves his head to rest against the wall to his right and he just look at Gabriel for a moment. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t move.
Gabriel sees emotions swirl in the kid’s eyes, emotions he once more can’t name. All he knows is, such emotions shouldn't belong to someone so young.
“I don’t know.” The kid finally says and Gabriel knows it’s the truth. “Don’t really matter, does it? Ya either kill me now or ya send me to prison. Either way, I die.”
He shrugs his shoulders.
“Never mattered what I wanted. Aint gonna change now.”
“And what is it that you want, kid?”
The kid looks taken back by the question, but Gabriel needs an answer. The kid takes a moment to answer but when he does, his voice is quiet but sure.
“I want to not feel pain.”
Notes:
So what did you think about this one?
Hugs to y'all!
Chapter 6: Hope
Summary:
A choice is made
Notes:
Okay, first of all I just want to say; I LOVE YOU ALL.
All those wonderful comments, I mean I never thought someone could love one of my stories as much as you guys do and I love you all for it.
So thank you all for your wonderful support.I do however wish to apologize for taking so long for getting this chapter out, but I'm afraid it couldn't be helped.
I'm currently in a spot where I don't know in which direction my life is going and it takes my strenght and willpower just trying to figure out what it is I want to do. SO my brain has been pretty scrambled lately, which makes it hard to write. Hopefully, I will be able to focuse soon.There is also one thing I would like to ask all of you. Whenever I write, I listen to music that inspire me. Usually sad or dramatic stuff and I was wonder if you guys would be willing to offer up some examples you might have come across. I usually just stumble across music that inspires me, but that can usually take a while and it frustarates me that I have to put in so much time looking for something instead of writing.
So if you're willing to help, I would really appreciate it.But enough of that now, on with the next chapter!
Hope you all enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“I want to not feel pain.”
Gabriel doesn’t know what to say to that, so he says nothing. He stays silent and the kid seems to take his silence for something, for what the Blackwatch Commander can’t say. But the teenager turns his head away and goes back to staring at the wall, his eyes so unfocused Gabriel wonders if the kid is still with him.
If he isn’t, Gabriel wonders where he goes. Where does he let himself get lost when reality becomes too much?
No child should ever be forced to conjure up such a place.
He spends a long moment just watching the kid. Takes in small frame, the too large shirt that hides the ribs Gabriel knows he would be able to count had it not been there. Takes in the long hair with split ends that is caked with what he hopes is old reddish dirt. Takes in the bruises scattered across skin that looks too dry and pale despite the layers and layers of dirt.
He takes in the lines of lighter skin peeking out where dirt or clothes fails to cover them.
He knows time is running out and he needs to make a decision before it’s too late. He knows most of the half hour has passed and MacKenzie will open that door any second now, asking questions Gabriel didn’t have the answers to.
Because he doesn’t know what to do.
He’s aware of his options. They are few and he’s not comfortable with any of them. He can keep his promise, give the kid the swift end he wants or he can send him to prison, with the hope that the teenager one day might see the sky again. But he also knows that possibility is slim to nonexistent. The kid will likely be killed within his first week behind bars and Gabriel knows it will be a slow and painful death.
He can’t give the kid that kind of fate.
His heart will not allow it.
The Blackwatch Commander’s shoulders slump and he sighs, suddenly feeling tired beyond his years. He feels the kid’s gaze flicker to him, but the teenager stays quiet. The silence stretches between them and Gabriel finds himself glaring at the floor, as if it is the cause of the situation.
He absently rubs the back of his necks and wonders what he’s mother would have done. He almost snorts, because he knows what she would have done.
She would have hit him over the head with her sandal and called him ‘Idiota!’
It is in that instance he knows what to do, that same moment he can hear his mother’s voice in his mind it all becomes clear to him. He knows what he has to do.
He knows it won’t be easy, but he can’t find himself to care. Because he knows it’s the right decision and that is all that matters.
He sits up straighter and the kid’s gaze focus on him at the movement.
“What if I told him there’s a third option, Niño?”
The kid stares at him like he’s crazy and he guess the kid is kind of right. It’s a risky and crazy move, but one he is willing to pull.
The kid’s eyes narrows with suspicion and Gabriel doesn’t blame him. The teenager leans back and draws his arms closer to his body, distrust dripping from his whole posture. He doesn’t speak for a long moment but when he does, there is a certain edge to his voice.
“What third option?”
Gabriel doesn’t hesitate.
“Come home with me.”
For a moment, the world seems to stop spinning. They lock eyes, his own kind and serious and the kid’s wide and shocked. Neither of them seems to breathe, him waiting and the kid frozen. When the teenager doesn’t speak after several minutes, Gabriel pushes.
“I can’t promise you it will be easy or painless, but I can promise you I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. You won’t be locked away and I will be in your corner all the way.” He smiles. “It’s your choice.”
The teenager blinks and he then draws a breath that makes his chest tremble.
“...I get to choose?”
Gabriel swallows hard but nods.
“Yes.” He forces his next words out, a foul taste lasting on his tongue. “If it’s what you really want, I will keep my fist promise to you. But I’m also offering you a second chance, a chance at a new life.”
The kid’s eyes mist over and when he speaks, his voice is strained and no louder than a whisper.
“...why?”
“Because I believe you deserve it.”
The kid stares for a moment.
“...ya really will kill me if I ask ya to?”
No.
“Yes.”
I won’t promise you that.
“I will.”
I can’t.
“Is it what you want, kid?”
The teenager finally looks away from him, instead focusing on the floor. He curls in on himself again, fingers digging into thin arms to the point where Gabriel worries those broken nails will break skin. Emotions flashes across the kid’s expression, until the Blackwatch Commander recognizes a few he can name.
He sees frustration and hesitance.
He sees suspicion and alarm.
He sees fear and desperation.
He sees a flicker of hope.
The kid looks back at him and he sucks in a breath that wracks his entire body. Gabriel sees tears gather in the corner of brown eyes and he forces back the newly awoken instincts to brush them away. Instead, he stays seated and waits.
Waits for an answer.
The kid lets go of on arm and uses his free hand to reach up to rub at his neck. The action is almost violent and Gabriel hates what it means. The teenager curls in on himself to the point where he looks smaller than he already is and Gabriel watches as the tears finally falls.
“...I don’t want to die.”
Gabriel scoots forward and pulls the teenager into his lap, wrapping his arms around the trembling form. He almost smiles as he feels the smaller body lean into his chest and frail hands rises to grip at the front of his hoodie. He bents his back slightly, using his own body to shield the kid from the world.
The kid doesn’t wail or scream this time. Instead he sobs quietly as his body trembles. It takes Gabriel only a moment to realize that this time it isn’t from pain or fear.
It’s relief.
He leans his head on top of the kid’s head and murmurs softly, the teenager holding on to him as he falls apart.
“It’s alright, Niño. You’re safe now, I promise.” His hand slips through brown locks of hair. “I’m here. You will be okay, I promise.”
The kid whines and presses himself closer, his trembling slowly dying down as exhaustion claims him. Gabriel feels him slip but he doesn’t let go, instead tightening his hold of the teenager. He scoots back until he can rest his back against the wall, keeping the kid in his lap and never once letting go.
The sobs slowly turns to sniffles and Gabriel continues to whisper softly as the kid begins to lean all his body against his chest, the strength to keep himself upright gone.
Gabriel doesn’t mind.
The Blackwatch commander smiles softly to himself as he takes in how perfectly the kid seems to fit into his arms. As if it is there he was always meant to be.
As if it is there he belongs.
“I got you, kid.”
He glances at the clock on the wall opposite to him and sighs. The half hour is almost up and he still has a call to make, but he finds himself unwilling to move. It has been a while since he has felt this comfortable, like this is where he is meant to be.
Instead of standing up, he leans back more heavily against the wall and closes his eyes, a smile resting on his lips.
They can afford to wait a few more minutes.
“...”
Gabriel lets one eye slip open and he glances down at the teenager resting in his arms.
“What’s that, kid?”
The teenager draws a shuddering breath and when he speaks, Gabriel almost doesn’t hear him.
“...Jesse...my name is Jesse.”
Notes:
So, was this chapter up to par?
Let me know.Hugs to y'all
Chapter 7: I'll Keep You Safe
Summary:
A phone call is made
Notes:
Surprise, next chapter is already out!
I would like to say that it happened so quickly is because I feel better, but the truth is that I'm actually sick. Sooo, I just had a lot more time to spend on writing than doing other stuff. I mean, between sleeping and throwing up that is.
Is there anyone who got any tips about how to get rid of nausea, because I need that, like two days ago.But moving on, I couldn't believe how many of you were willing to spend time to write suggestions of songs down for me. I was overwhelemed by the sheer amount of suggestions. But even if I don't like all of them, I'm still thankful that you guys were willing to do that for me.
Now, since I suck at coming up with titles for the chapters I have decided to use songtitles instead, since music means so much to me. It will take a bit of research from my part, but you guys have already help me a long way.
So thank you all guys.The titel of this chapter is inspiered by Sleeping at Last - I'll keep you safe.
Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“...Jesse...my name is Jesse.”
Gabriel watches as the kid’s eyes finally slips shut, exhaustion finally taking its right. The teenager sinks into the couch and hugs one of the pillows close to his chest, his head resting on the other. He’s curled up, his back pressed against the back of the old furniture and his knees drawn close to his chest even in his sleep. Gabriel threw a blanket over the kid a few moments and smiled as the teenager had nuzzled into the cloth.
The Blackwatch Commander leans back and scoffs softly.
Jesse.
It fits, so well Gabriel thinks it was meant for him.
In the back of his mind, he wonders who gave him his name. He can’t see either his parents or the gang doing something like that, giving a child the perfect name. Because that requires care and love, something Gabriel suspects the kid has been a stranger to his whole life.
Standing up, he picks up the now empty tray from the table and walks towards the small kitchen area connected to the living room of their small base. It’s nothing fancy, just enough space for Gabriel's team. It was low-key and just the means to get the job done.
He dumps the tray in the sink, relieved that Jesse had finally accepted the food being offered to him. Even if Gabriel wasn’t happy about how the kid had devoured said food, like he had expected like it would be ripped away from him, he felt better knowing the kid wasn’t starving under his care.
Jesse was too thin.
Gabriel is thankful his team has made themselves scares, most certainly chased out of the base by MacKenzie himself. The former bandit would never admit it, but Gabriel knows he has a soft spot for kids and he also knows the other man won’t hold a grudge against Jesse for his broken nose.
The Blackwatch Commander knows that had his team still been at the base, Jesse never would have allowed himself to fall asleep in such an open area.
He wonders when Jesse last slept.
He’s not sure he wants to know the answer.
He leans back against the sink as he rubs his neck, feeling the stiff muscles beneath his fingers. He sighs and glances at the clock, taking a deep breath as he pulls out his personal phone out of his pocket. He taps the screen and winces.
Twenty-seven missed calls and thirty-one unread messages.
Yeah, he’s screwed.
Knowing he can no longer avoid it, he presses one of the buttons and brings the phone to his ear. One signal manages to pass before the person on the other side of the line picks up and Gabriel jumps as the loud voice invades his ear.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?!”
“Hey Honey.”
“DON’T YOU ‘HEY HONEY’ ME, YOU TURD! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR HOURS, HOURS, FOR YOU TO CALL! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I AM?!”
Gabriel smiles and leans back against the sink.
“The way you still can’t swear is adorable, babe.” He snorts. “Turd? Really?”
There is a moment of silence on the line, before a mumble comes through.
“...shut up.”
The Blackwatch Commander chuckles and closes his eyes.
“You know you can’t stay angry at me.”
He almost sings the line, finding humour in the statement. Because it isn’t just a statement, it’s the truth.
“Unfortunately, no.” A heavy sighs follows and Gabriel feels his smile slip. “But you still owe me a good explanation. You know you should have been home by now.”
Gabriel leans more heavy against the sink and swallows, trying to get rid of the foul taste in his mouth. He glances at the couch and just manages to see over the top of the back. He sees the lump under the blanket fall and rise steadily.
He stands up and raises his free hand, pulling of the beanie from his head. He holds it tightly as he walks to one of the corners of the small kitchen, further away from the sleeping teenager. He knows the chance of Jesse waking up is slim, with how utterly exhausted the kid was, but he wasn’t willing to risk it.
He presses the phone closer to his ear and lowers his voice.
“Yeah, I know, baby. I’m sorry, it’s just...”
He falls silent, not sure how to continue. Because he can’t be told that he has to leave Jesse behind, he can’t. He made a promise both to Jesse and to himself, a promise he can’t bring himself to break.
“Gabe, did something happen? Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, but...something came up.”
He glances back at the couch once again. From this angle, he can see Jesse face. The kid hasn’t moved an inch, still fast asleep and showing no signs of waking up any time soon. Gabriel turns back to face the corner and lowers his voice even further.
“I can’t come home yet, not until I know it’s...safe.”
A heavy silence grows across the line and Gabriel can feel his fear growing. The voice that fills the line a moment later is low and laced with worry.
“Gabe, what’s going on? What do you man ‘safe’?”
“I can’t explain everything right now, not over the phone.” His voice softens as he leans his head against the wall, his eyes closing. “I just need you to trust me, okay?”
A sigh follows his request.
“The last time you asked me to do that in that tone of voice, an airport blew up.”
Gabriel huffs, but smiles.
“I still caught the guy.”
“An AIRPORT, Gabriel.”
The Blackwatch Commander lets a small chuckle pass his lips.
“Okay, okay. Don’t go biting my head off, I need it.”
There is a scoff across the line, but Gabriel can hear the fondness among the words.
“Well, sometimes I just wish you would use it more.”
“I know you do.” He sighs, worn and heavy. “But I need more time, just a few more days. I promise I will keep you updated, just, please?”
There is a pause and Gabriel can picture the lowered brows, the tight lips as they settle into a frown and those blue eyes he loves so much swirling with worry.
“I can give you three days. Three days and then you come home, not a day later. Even if it isn’t safe, you will come home. We will deal with it together.” A heavy sigh follows. “Just come home safe, alright?”
It isn’t really a question as much as it is an order. But Gabriel really doesn’t mind, instead it makes him smile.
“Yeah, I promise. Thanks, babe.”
They hang up after a few more quite goodbyes and Gabriel feels his shoulders slumps in relief the instance his phone screen goes black. He takes a deep breath as the puts his phone back in his pocket and turns around, rubbing his face with his free hand. He walks back to the couch and sits down on the coffee table, leaning his arms against his knees as he finally allows himself relax.
He looks as Jesse and chuckles softly. The teenager has buried his face in the pillow, his mouth slightly open a small trail of drool running down his chin.
If Gabriel ignores the dirt and scrapes, along with the secrets he knows the blanket hides, Jesse almost looks like a normal teenager.
He hates that he knows it’s a lie.
Forcing those kind of thoughts away, he allows his mind to drift. He needs to form a plan, he can’t take any more risks. Not when Jesse’s life hangs in the balance. It’s a dangerous situation, especially if the government finds out what he has done. His orders had been clear and he has broken almost all of them.
He doesn’t regret it.
As his mind wanders, he makes a mistake. One he won’t realize until it’s too late.
His hand reach out to ruffle Jesse’s hair but the moment his hand makes contact with the teenager’s head, brown eyes snaps open.
And an inhuman snarl fills the room.
Notes:
So I hope you guys enjoyed the reading, until next time.
Taake care!Hugs to y'all!
Chapter 8: Not Alone
Summary:
Discoveries and promises are made.
Notes:
Yeah, I'm on a roll, guys!
I'm a writing machine....or maybe it's because I have stopped throwing up all the time.
*Shurgs shoulders*
Meh.So, thanks for all your continuing support and all wonderful comments. I love all of them.
You are all AMAZING!So about this chapter.
First of all; Surprise! It actually longer than usual and it's something I will try to work on. Making the chapter's slightly longer, that is. But we will have to see how that goes.
Second of all; I actually surprised myself with how violent and...bloody this came out when finished. Sooo...prepare yourself for that.
Also....just, prepare yourself guys. We're in for a rough ride.The titel of this chapter is inspiered by Red - Not Alone
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
And an inhuman snarl fills the room.
Gabriel has no time to prepare before he finds himself thrown across the room, hitting the wall so hard the plaster cracks and the wind is knocked out of him. He lifts himself up on his arms before he can force his lungs to work again and he snaps his head up as the second snarl rings out.
Jesse is standing on the couch, hunch over slightly and his right hand buried in the top of the couch’s back. Gabriel eyes widens as he sees the kid’s hand rip through the fabric, the stuffing shifting from a dirty yellow to a deep red.
It takes Gabriel only a second to realize that its blood.
A deep rumble snaps his attention back to Jesse and Gabriel swallows, because the kid is actually growling at him.
He slowly pushes himself to his knees and holds his hands up a calming gesture.
“Alright, Kid. Just take it easy, there’s no need to-”
He throws himself to the floor as the coffee table come soaring towards him, hitting the wall with suck a force it causes the small table to splinter. He covers his head as pieces of wood rains down on him and he looks up just in time to see Jesse taking two steps towards him.
He swallows as he sees the blood dripping from the kid’s fingers on both hands.
Jesse stops after those two steps and Gabriel flinches at the sound that comes from the teenager’s chest. It’s deep and low, like thunder in the distance during a storm. It’s inhuman and wrong, a sound that should be made by no one, least of all a child.
It’s terrifying.
“Jesse...”
The kid’s hair hangs down low, keeping his face from Gabriel to see. But as Jesse hesitates at the sound of his name, the brown locks shifts and the Blackwatch Commander swears he sees a flash of gold. It causes him to freeze and he swallows thickly.
The gold had been glowing.
He snaps out of it when Jesse takes another step forward and Gabriel pushes himself up to his feet, but stays crouched down low. He opens his mouth but before he can utter a word, a sickening low crack fills the air.
Several more follows.
He stares as Jesse hangs his head slightly lower and his eyes widens as blood suddenly splatters against the floor, dripping from the kid’s mouth and draping his chin in red.
Gabriel takes several steps forward in worry, but jumps back as the teenager swipes at him. He catches Jesse’s wrist when it swings at him again and doges the other, grapping hold of the kid’s bicep to stop the fourth attack. He’s not prepare for Jesse to push against him and it sends them sprawling to the floor, Gabriel on his back and the teenager on top of him.
Jesse is stronger than Gabriel could have ever guessed.
The teenager is trying to pull free and Gabriel struggles to keep his hold on him. Jesse snarls, spraying blood on the front of his hoodie. Gabriel winces and tries to push the teenager off him.
He’s not sure what to do.
He doesn’t want to hurt Jesse, but he’s also not sure how to handle the situation.
So he does the only thing he can think of.
“JESSE, STOP!”
Jesse stills over him and Gabriel looks up to see the teenager staring down at him. His eyes are back to their normal gold-speckled brown, but his pupils are dilated and Gabriel has never had someone look at him with such fear before. How the kid had looked at him in the interrogation room was nothing compared to the way he was looking at him now.
Before he can say anything, Jesse rips himself from his grip and stumbles back. The kid’s eyes flickers around the room in pure panic, spotting the torn couch, the shattered table, the broken wall and the blood smeared across the floor. Then Jesse’s eyes falls on him and Gabriel swears the kid stops breathing.
He looks down and winces as he sees the red splatter draped across the front of his hoodie.
A whimper snaps his attention back to the teenager and he sees Jesse raises a hand to cover his mouth, smearing blood across his cheeks from his still bleeding fingers. His other hand follows, wrapping around his wrist and nails digs into the skin to the point where it breaks. Blood runs down the teenager’s arm until it reaches his elbow, where it drips to the floor.
Gabriel shoots to his feet before the first tear hits the floor.
He reaches out but Jesse flinches so violently he stumbles backwards, further away from Gabriel.
“Jesse...”
But Jesse shakes his head and continues to stumble back, until the back of his legs hits the edge of the couch. He throws himself backwards and vaults over the couch, sprinting towards the kitchen as soon as his feet hit the floor. Once there, he throws himself into the small space between the fridge and a kitchen cabin. He curls up and tries to sink into the shadows, his body trembling like a leaf in the wind.
That’s when the sobbing starts.
Gabriel’s heart lurches in his chest and he rushes into the kitchen, stumbling to a stop a few feet away from Jesse. The kid’s back is turned towards him, for the first time since they met, and he’s trembling so violently his bones must be rattling against each other.
Jesse’s right hand is reaching over his left shoulder and nails are digging into the skin just above his shoulder blade, the shirt already torn and soaked red. His left hand is scratching at his neck, small thin grooves in the flesh dripping enough for blood to be smeared across the pale skin.
Gabriel stares at Jesse’s hands. Blood is still dripping from the digits and the Blackwatch Commander can finally see why.
The tip of each finger looks like it has been torn open, like he has had all his fingernails ripped away. The cuticles looks shredded, some completely lost while others just hangs by one end where the nails once used to be.
Sticking out of the raw flesh, are black claws.
They are slightly longer than what his normal nails had been, but at least three times as thick. They bend inwards in a slight curve and they look sharp enough to rip a man’s throat out.
“Jesse...” Gabriel swallows. “What did...?”
But Jesse only lets out a low whine and curls up further, pushing himself deeper into the small space and scratches more deeply at his neck.
Gabriel rushes forward, no longer able to stand back and watch Jesse hurt himself. He grabs hold of the kid’s shoulders and turns him around, ignoring the way Jesse begins to just scream.
He takes hold of Jesse’s hands and forces them away from the bleeding skin, refusing to let go no matter how much Jesse struggles against him. He pulls the teenager close and wraps his arms around him, pressing his hand against the back of Jesse’s head until it rests against his chest. He then closes his eyes as Jesse screams and cries.
He swears those heartbroken sounds will haunt his nightmares.
He’s not sure how much time passes, but it feels like an eternity. But slowly the screaming stops, reduced to sobs. Slowly, Jesse stops struggling and falls against him, Gabriel being the only thing keeping him from crashing to the floor. Slowly, Jesse begins to whisper, voice worn and cracking.
“I-I’m s-s-sor-rry, p-please. I-I-p-pl-please. I di’didn’t-I w-was-pl-please. N-no-I-I’m so-sorry.”
Gabriel blinks to keep his own tears at bay and tightens his hold of the teenager, rubbing the back of Jesse’s head in what he hopes is a soothing manner.
“It’s okay, Jesse. You’re safe now, I got you.” He leans his head against the top of Jesse’s head and speaks in a whisper next. “I got you.”
He feels Jesse draw a stuttering breath, curling up between the Blackwatch Commander’s legs and pressing himself against the strong chest.
“Pl-please, I’m so-sorry. I-I-ple-please d-don’t s-send m-me b-ba-back. P-pl-please.”
Gabriel gently shushes him, brushing a hand through locks now more red than brown. He recloses his eyes and leans in closer, wrapping himself around the child in his arms.
“You’re no going back, I promise. I’m never letting anyone ever take you back, never. I promise, I will keep you safe.”
A moment of silence passes between them next, the only sound in the room Jesse’s strained breathing. Then, Jesse sags against him, his entire body going limp as his eyes slips close. Gabriel draws him even closer and lets the teenager’s head lull onto his left bicep. His breathing grows more stable, but Gabriel prays the weakness to it is just from exhaustion.
He carefully wipes his sleeve against the teenager’s chin and cheeks, trying to get rid of most of the blood. He then uses one hand to part Jesse’s lips, hoping to find the cause for the bleeding.
He’s horrified from what he finds.
Jesse’s gums looks ripped apart. Blood still drips from swollen flesh that looks red and inflamed. There are bulges on several places and when Gabriel uses one finger to press against one, instead of the softness he expects to find, he feels only stiffness.
He draws his finger back and stops as he spots something. Protruding from the gums over his left canine tooth, is something white. Gabriel almost misses it do to all the blood, but he reaches out and brushes some of the blood away. He pulls away and blinks.
It’s a tooth.
Gabriel feels his stomach turn.
No.
It’s a fang.
Gabriel swallows as he sees the fang slowly slip back into the teenager’s ruined gums, until it’s gone completely. Like it wasn’t even there to begin with.
Something clicks and Gabriel turns his attention to the teenager’s hands. His eyes widens as he sees that the black claws are now gone. Left behind is bleeding fingers where the Blackwatch Commander can now see new normal nails are slowly beginning to grow back.
Gabriel turns his gaze back to Jesse’s now slack face. He reaches up and brushes a few locks of hair away before he lets his hand rest against the kid’s cheek, rubbing his thumb against the skin just below his closed eye.
“Dios mio...” He murmurs. “What have they done to you?”
Jesse lets out a low whine but his eyes remain closed. Gabriel draws him closer and smiles softly as Jesse leans into him, trying to get closer still.
“Don’t worry, I got you.” Gabriel whispers. “I got you, I promise. You’re safe.”
He closes his eyes and leans down to press his lips against Jesse’s forehead.
“You’re not alone anymore, Mijo. I promise.”
Notes:
Soooo, what did you think?
Tell me, tell me. Please. *puppy eyes*Until next time, guys.
Hugs to y'all.
Chapter 9: Monsters
Summary:
Gabriel thought it was calm, but the storm was closer than he could have guessed.
Notes:
Okay, so first off I would like to apologize for being absent for so long. I feel like I have let you all down, with your wonderful support and then I take so long to update. I love writing this story and I never meant for this chapter to take so long, but I fear it couldn't be helped.
This last month has been very...hard.
First I was sick, which I mentioned last time and then, once I got well again, I had trouble at work.
Then I got sick again, to the point where I couldn't keep anything down and spent a week not getting out of my bed.
Then, when I got back to work, some personal problems hit me really hard, and I had to focus on just getting through the days.
And then...I got sick again. I mean, I still am. I have an infection behind my right ear that leaves half my head throbbing. I haven't been able to sleep well for a week and the pain was driving me crazy, to the point where I wanted to drive a screwdriver into the side of my head just to relieve some of the pressure. I finally gave in a few days ago and went to the doctor, who described me some pretty heavy medication. It has made my head kind of...heavy.
I haven't been able to concentrate and has made me feel more like a zombie than a functional human being. Guys, I'm not even kidding. I walked into the bathroom door yesterday, because my brain didn't function enough to tell my arm to open it beforehand.So I really struggled with this chapter, but I hope you can forgive its tardiness and I promise to try to do better in the future.
So, enjoy this and hopefully we will see each other soon.The titel of this chapter is inspiered by Katie Sky - Monsters
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jesse won’t meet his eyes.
He stays in one of the corners of the couch, curled up with his arms tightly wrapped around himself. He’s leaning his forehead against his arms and stares at the floor from between his legs, his eyes wide and his gaze unfocused.
His entire body trembles.
He hasn’t said a word since he woke up. He had awoken slowly, still cradled in Gabriel’s arms. When he had realized what had happened, who was holding him, he had stiffened, before he had torn himself from the Blackwatch Commander’s arms. He had thrown himself back into the same small space as before, terrified.
It had taken Gabriel almost two hours to coax him out.
The Blackwatch Commander stays seated in the opposite corner of the couch, the middle cushion separating them. It’s just a foot or two of distance but it feels like the ocean.
While Gabriel wants nothing more than to scoot the teenager back into his arms, he stays where he is. He worries such actions will only frighten Jesse more. He feels like he swim and swim but no matter how hard he tires, the current drags him further away from land.
He fears if he reaches out, Jesse will run.
He forces himself to wait, but as the minutes tick by and the silence between them stretches, Gabriel becomes more and more restless.
He has so many questions, but no answers.
A part of him wonders if even Jesse has them.
He glances at the boy’s hands and there is no evidence they were ever anything but normal. The only thing that remains is the now dried blood coating those fingers. Gabriel hadn’t thought of wiping the blood away while the teenager had been unconscious and now awake, Jesse seems unaware by the redness clinging to his skin.
Jesse seems unaware about anything and everything, lost deep within his own mind.
Gabriel worries.
Knowing the silence can’t continue, he opens his mouth and speaks in a whisper.
“Jesse?”
Despite the softness of his voice, Jesse flinches as if he had been shouting the single word. The teenager leans away as far the couch will allow, leaning hard into the armrest of the worn furniture. Gabriel knows the armrest must be digging into his side, pressing uncomfortably against his ribs. But Jesse doesn’t even seem to care about the pain his action causes.
Gabriel hopes it’s because the teenager is too lost inside his own mind.
He knows it’s not.
Swallowing back the lump that has forced itself into the back of his throat, he tries again, even softer this time.
“Jesse? It’s okay.” He leans a little closer, slowly. “You’re not in trouble. I’m not mad, okay?”
Gabriel sees the way the boy’s shoulders tightens to the point where he worries they will snap. Then, to his surprise and utter relief, Jesse slowly lifts his head and looks at him through the locks of brown that shields his face.
He can see the distrust and worry in those eyes as they stare intently at him, as if waiting for him to say that his words were just some cruel joke.
Gabriel didn’t think his heart could shatter more.
He was wrong.
Forcing himself to move slowly, he scoots over to the middle cushion and raises his hand. He reaches forward and Jesse flinches but his eyes remains locked on Gabriel’s face, looking for something.
For what, Gabriel doesn’t know. But a part of him is determined to make sure Jesse doesn’t find what he’s searching for.
His hand makes contact with the top of Jesse’s head and he feels the boy stiffen beneath his palm. But he doesn’t move away and Gabriel takes that as a sign to continue. He drags his hands backwards, fingers carding through brown hair until the reaches the back of Jesse’s head. There his hand remains and his thump starts rubbing circles against the teenager’s scalp.
The kid is still staring at him, but by now the mistrust has been replaced by pure shock.
If it’s by his words or the comforting gesture, Gabriel doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know which one is worst.
He keeps going, until Jesse’s shoulders slowly starts to relax. The boy allows himself to sink into the cushion beneath him and his fingers loosen their grip of his upper arms. Gabriel’s eyes flickers to the kid’s wrist, doing his best to ignore the blood still clinging to the teenager’s arm.
He spots the injury and forces back a wince. While the bleeding has stopped, five punctures still remains. They glister red in the shine from the lamp in the roof and the skin raw, torn and deep in a way the Blackwatch Commander knows must be painful. He wonders if the wound on Jesse’s back looks the same, as the bleeding has stopped there as well, leaving behind a patch of deep red on the kid’s shirt.
“...why ain’t ya mad at me?”
The whisper catches him off guard and his eyes snaps back to Jesse’s face, where those brown eyes are still locked on to him. There is an emotion in them Gabriel can’t name, as he hasn’t been able to before and it frustrates him. If he could put a name to it, perhaps he would be able to figure out what to do with it. As of now, if is as if he is fumbling for a light in a pitch black room.
He pushes the frustrations back and smiles, feeling his chest ache painfully as Jesse blinks in surprise by the gesture.
“Because it was my fault.”
The sound that leaves Jesse startles a laugh out of Gabriel and he smirks as the boy’s cheeks flush crimson.
“...what?”
Gabriel’s smile softens.
“I should have known better than approach you so suddenly while you were asleep. You’re in an unfamiliar environment with a person you don’t really know.” He shakes his head. “I don’t blame you for reacting the way you did.”
Jesse’s eyes widens a fraction and he tilts his head slightly in what Gabriel assumes is confusion.
“Why?”
“Because I would have reacted the same way.”
It’s true, not one word of is a lie. In Gabriel’s line of, one can never be too careful and he rarely sleeps deep enough not to wake at the slightest sound anymore. The only time he does, he’s sleeping in his own bed next to the man he loves, where he knows he’s safe.
Jesse seems to taste his words for a long moment, hesitating as if he should believe them or not. Gabriel stays quiet, willing to give Jesse the time he needs. He knows that if he rushes it, the teenager will pull away. He will sink back into himself and Gabriel will not allow that to happen. He wants Jesse to feel safe around him, if it will take time then so be it.
He’s willing to wait.
After a few moments of heavy silence, Jesse shifts slightly in his seat and Gabriel wants to believe it’s because he tries to be more comfortable, not because of fear. The teenager opens his mouth to speak but before he can utter a word, his entire body stiffens and his head snaps towards the door.
Before Gabriel can ask what’s wrong, the door slams open and his head turns to see two of his agents in the now open doorway. Delgado and Noir steps into the room, only to stop short as they spot the teenager. Gabriel feels Jesse’s neck tighten under his hand, as the teenager locks eyes with his two agents. The air in the room grows thick and the silence feels suffocating, yet no one seems willing to break it.
Finally, Noir snaps her gaze away from the teenager and instead focuses on her Commander. Rage displays on her expression and as she speaks, it comes out more like a snarl dripping with venom.
“What is that thing doing here?”
Jesse flinches and presses himself deeper into the couch, but doesn’t say a word. He lowers his gaze to the floor and curls in on himself, trying desperately to hide.
Gabriel feels something flare to life inside him.
He stands from his seat and positions himself in front of Jesse, using his own body to shield the teenager from his agents. His knuckles cracks as his hands curl into fists and as he speaks, a snarl of his own clings to his voice.
“Watch your words, Noir.”
The woman only lets out another snarl.
“Why the Hell should I?” She takes a step forward and points an accusing finger towards Jesse. “That thing shouldn't even be here! It should have been taken care of already!”
“Last warning, Noir!” Gabriel growls. “Shut your mouth before I make you! He’s a child and under Blackwatch protection!”
But Noir doesn’t stop, she keeps talking and Gabriel starts to feel his own control slipping.
“That thing attacked us! It’s a freak and it should-”
The woman’s mouth snaps shuts as her gaze lowers to his chest and Gabriel lets his own eyes fall, cursing quietly as he sees the blood still splattered on the front of his hoodie. It’s dry and not his own, but neither of his agents knows that.
Before he can explain, before he can stop them, Delgado grabs and drags him across the room, away from Jesse. The larger man forces him to the floor, putting his own body between the Commander and the teenager. Noir sprints forward, a knife in each hand and is heading straight for Jesse.
Not to detain or threaten him.
To kill him.
“No! Wait!”
But his words fall to deaf ears. He struggles against Delgado's grip of him, but the larger man is stronger than him and only drags him further away from the couch. He can do nothing as Noir throws one arm out to swing her knife, directly over Jesse’s throat.
But before the blade can slice through flesh, Jesse vaults himself over the back of the couch. He throws one leg out, kicking Noir hard on the wrist which causes her to lose her grip of the knife so it goes flying until the blade imbeds itself in the roof. The two of them crashes to the floor a few feet apart, Jesse quickly leaping back to his feet and takes several steps back, creating a bigger distance between them as Noir pushes herself up.
She clutches her wrist and snarls, before she tightens her grip of her remaining blade and runs forward. To Gabriel’s great surprise, Jesse runs to meet her halfway. Noir swings but Jesse leans back and slides under the arm, effectively getting behind the woman. In an instant, he throws his own punch and catches the woman in the side of the throat.
Noir stumbles, the knife falling from her hand as she reaches up to clutch at her throat. She falls to her knees as she begins coughing, unable to bring enough air into her lungs.
Gabriel blinks, surprise and impressed at the same time.
Jesse had hit Noir exactly where he needed to.
It had been instinctively, a muscle memory born from time and experience.
Gabriel has seen soldiers with years of training execute such manoeuvre with less grace.
Jesse spins on his heel and rushes towards him and Delgado, clearing the couch with a single jump. Delgado lets go of him and turns around to face the teenager, reaching behind himself and pulls out his handgun. Gabriel shouts but Delgado has already pulled the trigger, three bullets flying through the air.
Right towards Jesse.
But the teenager throws himself to the right, one of the bullets grazing his left cheek. He hits the floor in a roll and leaps back to his feet in a swift movement, throwing himself forward and wrapping his hand around Delgado’s wrist. He growls deep in his chest and squeezes.
Gabriel winces at the ‘crunch’ of bones scraping against each other.
Delgado screams and the gun falls to the floor. The man starts to lean forward and Jesse uses the momentum, twitching his own body and dragging Delgado with him. At the right moment, the teenager let’s go and the man soars across the room. He slams into Noir and the two of them crashes to the floor, both of them struggling to get back up.
Gabriel stares at his downed agents, before the sight is shielded by a pair of dirty jeans. His gaze snaps upwards and his eyes widens as Jesse now stands between him and the other two, Delgado’s gun held out in front of him in a grip that screams of experience.
Jesse shifts and the movement causes his hair to fall back. For the first time since they found the boy, Gabriel gets a good lock on the teenager’s face.
It’s thin like the rest of him, cheeks hollow and skin dry. He’s pale, the freckles like spots of bright paint against a white canvas. There is a scar on his forehead, just below the hairline. It’s old, its width telling a story of a former deep wound. His lips are cracked from dryness, the rough movement from a snarl causing a drop of blood to rise from the corner of the lower lip.
And his eyes are burning.
“D-don’t hurt him!”
Gabriel startles at Jesse’s voice, the waver doing nothing against the harsh coldness that accompanies the words. There is a slight tremble in the teenager’s hand, but the finger resting against the trigger doesn’t even twitch. It’s confident, like a rock in a raging storm. Calm and collected.
Unhesitant.
It takes a moment for the teenager’s words to sink in but when they do, Gabriel’s eyes widen and he feels his breath stutter in his chest.
Jesse hadn’t fought back to defend himself. He had seen Delgado grab hold of the Blackwatch Commander, the only person who has been kind to him, and thought the worst. Had thought the two agents were going to harm Gabriel.
He had fought, not to save himself, but to save Gabriel.
Jesse was protecting him.
Notes:
So, this chapter any good?
Until next time, guys.
Hugs to y'all.
Chapter 10: I Will
Notes:
Surprise! I'm back!
....yeah, sorry guys. I never meant for it to go this long between updates but I have had some...personal problems...lately which has left me feeling drained and unable to focus enough to write. But I hope things are getting better, so hopefully you won't have to wait so long for the next chapter.I also wanted to tell just how amazed I am from all of your support. I am literally blown away by how may of you guys actually enjoy this story as much as you do and I can never thank you for that. I mean, the last time I posted a chapter, I woke up the next moring to an inbox flooded with comments. I'm gonna be honest guys, I started crying. That so many of you like my story, I couldn't believe it. I still can't.
So thank you all so much!The titel of this chapter is inspired by Citizen Way - I Will
Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Gabriel can’t believe it. Jesse was protecting him, willing to face two highly trained agents for him.
Just who the Hell is this kid?
Gabriel snaps out of it as Delgado and Noir slowly begins to get back to their feet, Jesse’s eyes trained on them. The Blackwatch Commander can see the strain of Jesse’s arm from his place on the floor, the fine tremor in the limb, but the teenager never once lowers the gun. His finger rest against the trigger, waiting.
That’s when Gabriel hears the rushing footsteps in the hall leading to the kitchen, promising the arrival of the rest of his team. They must have heard the commotion and were now coming to investigate.
Gabriel knows Jesse hears them too.
Jesse’s head snaps to the still open doorway, gun still aimed at Delgado and Noir. His eyes are wide with panic and his gaze flickers between the two agents and the doorway. Gabriel sees the boy’s shoulders tighten and the Blackwatch Commander opens his mouth but before he can get a word out, Jesse takes several steps back.
The teenager turns slightly, still keeping the gun raised but is now directly in front of him. He widens his stance slightly and lets the gun move back and forth between the two agents in the room and the doorway, finger almost squeezing the trigger. His breathing is strained, with an underlining mixture of panic and fear.
The kid is terrified, yet he is still trying to protect Gabriel.
Gabriel can’t almost comprehend it.
The footsteps are louder now and Gabriel’s gaze snaps to the doorway just in time to see MacKenzie outline in the corridor. He sees how his agent’s eyes widen as he realizes the situation but before he can run into the room, MacKenzie stumbles to a stop. The man braces himself against the frame of the door and the rest of Gabriel’s team barrels into the man’s back, forcing them to stay in the corridor.
MacKenzie is staring at Jesse, at the gun directed towards him. His eyes then snap to Delgado and Noir, before they focus on the Commander on the floor. He opens his mouth but before he can speak, Jesse cuts him off with a growl.
“D-don’t come any closer.”
The air in the room is tick and stiff. A silence begins to stretch, so heavy Gabriel believes it could be cut with a knife.
His brain screams at him to do something, before the situation ends in a bloodbath but his limbs feels frozen. He’s worried that is he moves or speaks, Jesse will fire. The kid is tight as a string and his finger never once lets up on the trigger. One wrong move and someone will be dead.
That’s when he spots a movement in the corner of his eye and moves.
Jesse catches it too and he turns, to see Delgado rushing towards him. The gun is still pointed towards MacKenzie and he knows he will never move his arm fast enough to take a shot at the man coming barrelling towards him.
The man is at least three times his size and built like a mountain, his arms as thick as Jesse chest is wide. He looks able to snap Jesse in half and yet the teenager hadn’t seen him.
He had been so focused on MacKenzie, he hadn’t even noticed the other man getting to his feet.
He knows he has made a mistake. A mistake that will cost him his life.
Delgado is just a few feet away from him when Gabriel is suddenly between them. And before anyone can do anything, the Blackwatch Commander socks Delgado in the jaw. The man stumbles back from the force and spits, two bloody teeth hitting the floor. He cradles his jaw and curses, but stays where he is.
Jesse stares at the back of Gabriel, as the man stalks towards the soldier he just punched. He grabs the front of Delgado’s shirt and shakes him, before he forces the man back with a violent shove.
Jesse doesn’t move.
He almost misses the woman getting back to her feet.
She has almost reached him when he turns to meet her, but then Gabriel is suddenly between them. Jesse’s hand is empty and the barrel of the gun is pressed against Noir’s forehead, Gabriel’s finger wrapped around the trigger that promises no hesitation.
The room falls still. No one moves and the only sound is as Jesse swallows thickly.
His hand feels cold without the gun.
His ears are ringing and his entire body is screaming at him to run, to get away while he can. But he can’t move. His body feels frozen, his feet glued to the floor.
It feels like his heart has stopped beating.
No one has ever protected him before.
He isn’t sure what to feel.
Gabriel’s snarl breaks the suffocating silence, like a rock thrown into glass. He presses the end of the barrel hard against Noir’s forehead and the woman actually flinches. She takes a step back but Gabriel follows, the edge of the gun never losing contact with the woman’s skin.
“You will remember who I am, Noir.” Gabriel snarls, cold and harsh like a storm. “Disrespect me again and I will not hesitate to put a bullet between your eyes.”
The woman swallows thickly and before she can say anything, the Blackwatch Commander kicks her in the chest. She hits the floor and as she looks up, the gun is still trained on her. Noir meets Gabriel's gaze for several seconds, before she forces her eyes to the floor in submission.
Gabriel finally lowers the gun and sweeps his gaze across the room, meeting the eyes of the rest of his agents.
“The rest of you will be wise to remember the same.”
He turns without another word and no one else says anything, the silence once again grown thick and heavy. The Blackwatch Commander walks up to the still stunned teenager and carefully starts to usher him towards the open door.
This time, Jesse doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t do anything but let’s himself he led away.
Gabriel drapes an arm over the teenager’s shoulder and glares at the men still occupying the open doorway. They quickly move out of the way and Gabriel starts to guide Jesse out of the room, only to stop at the edge of the threshold. He glances over his shoulder and the temperature in the room could drop several degrees from the harsh coldness in his eyes.
“I’m only going to tell all of you once; do not make the mistake of asking me to choose.” He leads Jesse out of the room. “You will not win.”
The door slams shut behind them.
Gabriel makes himself to take a deep breath, forcing his shoulders to loosen as he leads Jesse into a small bedroom with a connecting bathroom. He guides the teenager over to the bed and Jesse sinks down into the mattress without a struggle. He hasn’t said a word and Gabriel worries the teenager has gone into shock.
It wouldn’t surprise him.
He sits down beside the boy, close but without any contact. He doesn’t know if Jesse is willing to welcome it right now.
His heart aches at the way he sees Jesse’s entire body trembles, his fingers twitching as his hands rest on top of his legs. His shoulders are drawn tight, so tight Gabriel worries for a second they might snap. The teenager is breathing through his mouth in short sharp intakes, as if he’s chest is too small for deep ones.
“Jesse?” Gabriel whispers, voice soft and kind. “You okay, kid?”
It’s a stupid question, he knows.
Jesse is far from okay.
The teenager opens his mouth, but not a sound escapes those chapped lips. The trembling grows worse and as the first tears starts to fall, Gabriel carefully guides the teenager into his arms. He wraps his left arm around the boy’s back while pressing his right hand against the back of Jesse’s head, finger combing through dirty brown locks.
Jesse doesn’t move at first but slowly, his hands rise to grip the front of Gabriel’s hoodie. The combination of sobs and panic leaves him gasping for air, and Gabriel rubs the boy’s back, softly urging him to take a deep breath.
“I-I’m s-sorry!” Jesse’s voice is raw and Gabriel actually flinches. “I-I-I’m so-sorry! Pl-please! I-I-please!”
A part of Gabriel wonders what the boy is really begging for, but the other part of him knows.
The Blackwatch Commander grits his teeth, wishing he had pulled the trigger as Jesse wails in his arms.
Carefully as to not jolt him too much, he pulls the boy onto his lap and scoots back until he can rest his back against the wall. Jesse doesn’t let go, he only draws his legs up until they are pressed tightly against his own chest and digs his face into Gabriel’s hoodie. His hands grips the fabric so tightly Gabriel thinks it will tear, but he has no intention in making the teenager let go.
They stay like that for a long time, for how long Gabriel doesn’t know nor does he care. He leans his chin against the top of Jesse’s head and sighs softly, glancing to the side to stare at nothing. Jesse’s trembling slowly dies down to a fine tremor and his wails turn to choked sobs, yet his grip of Gabriel’s hoodie never loosens.
Gabriel rubs his thumb against the centre of the boy’s back and tightens his hold as Jesse lets out a quiet whimper.
“Shh, you’re safe now.” The Blackwatch Commander murmurs softly. “Everything’s gonna be alright. We’re okay.”
Jesse says nothing.
Gabriel wonders if the teenager believes him.
His heart tells him the boy doesn’t.
He ignores how that little fact stings.
“...I-I’m sorry...” Jesse whispers after another moment of silence, voice frail and trembling. “I d-didn’t...I know...I’m s-sorry...”
Gabriel shakes his head, rubbing the teenager’s scalp carefully with his fingers.
“Don’t apologize, Niño. I’m not angry at what happened.”
Which was a lie.
Gabriel was beyond pissed, but not at Jesse.
Never at Jesse.
Jesse doesn’t say anything for a long moment, until Gabriel finally feels the teenager loosen his grip of the black hoodie. The boy still doesn’t move away and leans his forehead against Gabriel’s chest, hair falling like a curtain to shield his face.
“...okay.”
Jesse then slowly slips away from Gabriel’s hold and the Blackwatch Commander reluctantly lets him go. The teenager scoots off his laps and settles beside him, leaning against the wall with his legs still drawn up to his chest. His arms wrap around them and he leans his head against his knees, his shoulders dropping in exhaustion.
Gabriel watches him for a moment.
He looks so small, curled in on himself. Blood still clings to his skin, which is every colour than what it should be. The rags he calls clothes hangs off his frail frame, layers of dirt hiding patches of lighter skin Gabriel hates knowing are there.
He lifts his hands and carefully places it on the boy’s shoulder, ignoring the flinch that follows. After a moment, Jesse turns his head slightly and looks at him in between strands of brown. Gabriel smiles softly and gestures towards the bathroom door with a nod.
“Come on, kid. I think it’s time you got a shower.”
Jesse blinks slowly at him and Gabriel feels something in his stomach churn.
“....what’s a shower?”
Gabriel’s swallows thickly, wondering for a second if the kid is messing with him. But the layers of dirt overlapping each other and the chunks of something in the boy’s hair tell him all he needs to know.
Jesse isn’t joking.
Gabriel hates the bitter taste that grows in his mouth.
He wants to scream.
Instead he forces a smile and speaks in a voice that hides his disgust at the world.
“It’s when you use water to get clean.”
He frowns when the kid finches and his brows lowers as Jesse hides his face in his arms, the trembling in his shoulders picking up again.
“Jesse?”
“...ya said ya weren’t mad.”
Gabriel didn’t understand.
“Niño...why would you...”
His words fall short and he finds that he doesn’t know what to say. Jesse takes his silence as a sign to keep going.
“...please...” There is a tremor in his voice that Gabriel realizes is fear. “...I p-promise I w-will be g-good...please...n-not...not the hose...”
Gabriel swears his heart stops.
Notes:
So, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and until next time!
Hugs to y'all.
Chapter 11: Armor
Notes:
You guys are so freaking amazing, I'm not kidding. I can't even wrap my head around all the support I'm getting from this story.
And you are all so patience with me, depsite that I fail to upload new chapters reguarly.
You guys are the best!And because of that, this chapter is longer than the previous. You guys deserves that and I hope you will continue to enjoy this story as we move along.
Enjoy!The titel of this chapter is inspired by Landon Austin - Armor
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Gabriel swears his heart stops.
Time screeches to a halt and Gabriel forgets how to breathe. He tries to swallow, but a lump lodges in his throat. No matter how hard he tries to get rid of it, it seems to only grow until it feels like he’s about to choke.
His mind goes blank.
All he can do is to stare, as Jesse curls in on himself. He angles himself away from the Blackwatch Commander, as if he expects a blow.
Gabriel knows he is.
He raises a hand to comfort, not knowing what else to do, but stops as Jesse flinches away from him. The boy looks up at him and Gabriel doesn’t know what he sees, but whatever it is terrifies the teenager.
Before Gabriel can stop him, Jesse slips off the bed and tries to crawl away. Gabriel can hear him whispering apologizes as he drags himself towards a corner and before the Blackwatch Commander can think about it, he has gotten to his feet.
He takes two steps forward and sinks to his knees. Jesse tries to scramble back, away from him, but Gabriel carefully grabs the teenager’s shoulders.
He expects a scream.
Instead, Jesse sobs.
He doesn’t fight back as Gabriel draws him into a hug. He doesn’t kick or scream. He doesn’t try to pull free or fight back. He doesn’t try to escape.
He just surrenders.
He goes limp in Gabriel’s arms, his head falling against the man’s shoulder as he fights to force the sobbing to stop. He doesn’t hug back nor does he try to, instead he just allows Gabriel to be the one to keep him upright.
He doesn’t stop murmuring apologizes.
He doesn’t stop pleading.
Gabriel’s heart breaks a little more.
He forces himself to breathe around the lump still lodge in his throat and gently cups the back of Jesse’s head, unable to ignore the wet spot on his shoulder that grows with ever plea that falls past the teenager’s lips.
“It’s okay, Niño. It’s okay, you’re safe.” He murmurs softly. “I won’t hurt you.”
He knows Jesse doesn’t believe him.
“You’re safe, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Jesse stops pleading, but doesn’t say a word. He just presses his face tighter against Gabriel’s shoulder and trembles with silent sobs the Blackwatch Commander knows he is trying to stifle.
Swallowing, Gabriel gently leans the boy away from him and holds out in front of him. He doesn’t let go, doesn’t let Jesse fall, and speaks softly.
“Jesse, please look at me.”
Jesse’s head hangs low before he raises his gaze. He blinks, tears slowly running down his cheeks. The white of his eyes are an irritated red and the golden flecks Gabriel swore was there before are gone, replaced by a dullness the Blackwatch Commander never wants to see again.
Carefully, he cups the boy’s cheeks in his hands. Jesse twitches, not quite a flinch, and sucks in a quick breath. With a gentleness Gabriel hadn’t even know he possesses, he rubs his right thumb right below Jesse’s eye, wiping away the tears.
Jesse stares at him.
Gabriel smiles, soft and comforting.
“It’s okay, Mijo.” Jesse’s eyes widen, but Gabriel keeps speaking. “I will never do that to you. Never.”
His voice drops to a whisper.
“Please believe me, Mijo.”
A silence settles between them, tense but not uncomfortable. It takes several long moments before Jesse draws a trembling breath and, to Gabriel’s great relief, nods. He nods twice before he falls forward and Gabriel lets him.
He leans his head against the Blackwatch Commander’s chest and forces himself to breathe. Gabriel cups the back of his head and Jesse sobs, but this time it’s in relief rather than terror. He swallows thickly and speaks, his voice wavering.
“...o-okay...”
It is not much, but it is all he can give.
It is all Gabriel needs.
Gently, as to not startle the boy, he guides both of them to their feet. Jesse stumbles, but Gabriel drapes an arm over the boy’s shoulder to keep him steady. The teenager tenses under the pressure, but doesn’t move away. He moves stiffly as Gabriel leads him into the small bathroom, but he follows and that is all Gabriel is asking for.
Once they are in the bathroom, Gabriel leaves Jesse in the centre of the room once he is sure the boy can stand on his own, and walks over to the shower. It’s nothing special, just a shower head and two knobs sticking out of the wall, but Gabriel knows there is plenty of warm water and the pressure is acceptable.
He turns the knob that controls the water flow and forces back a wince as he hears Jesse flinch, as the shower stutters to life. The first water droplets springs from the head and falls to the floor with a soft ‘tink’, before it settles into a steady flow. Gabriel adjusts the temperature to a comfortable warm.
He turns around, only to find that Jesse has taken several steps back, the teenager pressing his back to the wall. His arms and hands are pressed hard against his chest as tremors run down his spine.
The water is no more than a light sprinkle, but Jesse is terrified.
Gabriel steels himself, before he holds his hand out towards Jesse. He raises his other hand at the same time, holding it under the spray of water while he keeps his eyes on the teenager.
“See, it’s okay.” He speaks softly. “It’s not going to hurt you, I promise.”
Jesse’s eyes narrows in suspicion but Gabriel waits patiently, making no movement to force the teenager forward before he feels ready.
Several tense minutes comes and goes, before Jesse takes a hesitating step forward. Another follows and when he’s close enough, the boy places his hand in Gabriel’s. The Blackwatch Commander slowly leads Jesse closer to the shower, his grip loose to allow the boy to pull away if he wants.
Just as they are about to come in contact with the spray of warm water, Jesse stops.
But to Gabriel’s surprise, doesn’t pull away.
Brown eyes stares at the falling water, so full of fear, before Jesse swallows thickly and reaches forward.
As the first drops hits skin, Jesse gasps and wrenches his hand from Gabriel’s. He stumbles back and stares at his trembling hand, breathing ragged and on the brink of hyperventilating.
Gabriel waits.
Slowly, the trembling eases into a fine tremor and Jesse tears his gaze away from his own hand, back towards the shower.
He looks so shocked that it didn’t hurt that Gabriel wants to scream.
Instead, he smiles encouragingly.
“See, it’s alright.”
He sees Jesse swallow thickly, still hesitating.
Still terrified.
Frowning sadly, Gabriel looks around until his gaze lands on a stack of towels. And idea flickers to life in his mind and he grabs one of them, turning back to the shower and holding it under the stream of water until the fabric is soaked. He turns and slowly holds the now dripping towel out for Jesse.
“How about you just wipe the worst away for now, alright?”
Jesse doesn’t say a word, only looks at him and blinks. He pushes himself to take two steps forward, but stops. His gaze flickers to Gabriel for moment and when it becomes apparent that the teenager won’t come any closer, Gabriel fears for a second that he has lost the little trust he has tried so hard to gain.
But he then notices how Jesse is eyeing the still running shower and he understands.
Instead of letting Jesse force himself to come closer, he walks up to the teenager. Once he is close enough, he holds out the dripping towel to the boy. There is still a small distance between them, but Gabriel hopes it’s enough for the teenager.
Jesse doesn’t flinch, but it is a close thing.
Gabriel pretends not to notice and keeps his own expression calm. He nods towards the towel still in his hands, his voice low and comforting.
“Use this for now. We can tackle the shower later, okay?”
Jesse doesn’t move, still hesitating but Gabriel is patient.
“It’s okay.” He whispers. “I’m not angry.”
Jesse blinks at stares at him for a long moment, before he reaches out and grabs the soaked towel with both hands. His fingers dig into the wet fabric and he seems surprised by the feeling that follows.
He jumps slightly as a few droplets of water runs down his wrist, creating tracks in the dirt clinging to his skin, before they fall to the floor.
Gabriel smiles softly.
“Take as long as you need and only as much as you’re comfortable with, okay?” He slowly backs towards the door. “I will be right outside, alright?”
Jesse nods, never taking his eyes off the towel and Gabriel quietly slips out of the bathroom, carefully closing the door behind him. The Blackwatch Commander leans against the shut door as he lets his eyes slip close, forcing himself to breathe deeply as he tries to calm his racing heart.
When he opens his eyes, they are hard and cold.
His hands form fists so tight his knuckles cracks and he grits his teeth so hard he knows his dentist would scream could she see him now.
But he doesn’t care.
He tears himself away from the door and stalks back into the bedroom, looking for something to help him control his anger. He feels like it’s going to tear him apart, but he also knows he can never allow that to happen.
Not with Jesse in the other room.
If he were to lose the boy because of his anger, he would never be able to forgive himself.
A knock on the door brings him out of his musing and his gaze narrows dangerously as he feels the rage burn bright again. He walks up to the door and wrenches it open, his teeth bared in anger.
MacKenzie jumps back.
Gabriel swallows a snarl. He can’t be angry with the other man, as he has done nothing wrong, but his anger is still hard to stifle.
“What?” He grits out.
MacKenzie blinks and then shrugs his shoulders, used to his Commander’s explosive temper. Instead of snarling back, he holds up a brown paper bag and a duffle Gabriel recognizes as his own. The Blackwatch Commander grabs both items, but raises an eyebrow at the paper bag.
MacKenzie shrugs his shoulders again.
“I managed to find some clothes that should fit the kid.” He falls silent, before asking, “He’s okay?”
Gabriel glances back towards the bathroom and he lets his shoulders fall, before he turns back to his agent. He sighs deeply and shakes his head, a feeling of exhaustion suddenly sweeping over him.
“I really don’t know, K. I really don’t know.” He puts his duffle down by his feet and rubs the back of his neck. “It’s not going to be easy.”
MacKenzie nods absently and looks off to the side, crossing his arms over his chest with another shrug.
“Can’t image tonight did anything to help.”
Gabriel’s eyes flash, before they turn to steel. The paper bag tears in his grip and he bares his teeth in a another silent snarl. The anger returns, brighter and harsher than before. He turns around before MacKenzie can be caught in it and kicks his duffle, the bag rolling across the floor. It hits the wall with a low ‘thund’.
It didn’t help.
The rage still burns, harsh and unforgiving.
As he turns back around, MacKenzie has taken a step back. The man’s expression is calm but Gabriel can see the hidden tension in his shoulders.
The Blackwatch Commander forces himself to relax, forces himself to breathe normally.
It does little to calm him.
When he speaks, his voice is as cold as the tundra. It’s not directed towards MacKenzie and he knows the man will forgive him for it, but he can’t keep the venom from dripping with each word.
“You and the rest are to pack up and return to base. That’s an order.” He snarls, unable to hold it back. “I want those two out of here before I rip them apart.”
MacKenzie nods and straightens at the command.
“Of course, Sir.” The man hesitates for a moment, uncertain. “What of you and the boy, Sir?”
Gabriel reminds himself to take a deep breath. He has to tell himself the man in front of him isn’t the one he is angry with, that he can trust MacKenzie.
At the moment, the only one he believes earns that trust.
“Until I deem it safe, we are to remain here. Until I return, I’m leaving you in charge.” Gabriel stands a little taller. “You leave within the hour.”
His voice leaves no room for arguments and MacKenzie doesn’t give him any. The man nods, turns and walks away. He manages to get halfway down the corridor before the Commander’s voice rings out.
“And MacKenzie?”
The man stops and glances over his shoulder. Gabriel’s eyes narrows, this time not with anger but with determination and a silent promise MacKenzie can read all too well.
“No one finds out about Jesse.”
MacKenzie nods once and then he’s gone, leaving Gabriel alone in the cold hallway. He stays there for a moment, staring into the darkness as the rage slowly bleeds out.
It leaves him feeling exhausted.
Finally, he turns and closes the door behind him. He reaches out and locks it, before he walks over to the bed. He sits down heavily and sighs, shoulders dropping. He runs a weary hand over his face and breaths deeply through his nose.
He feels like he could sleep for a month.
Instead, he opens the paper bag and smiles as he finds a pair of sweat pants and a shirt, along with a pair of new underwear. It’s basic but comfortable, which Gabriel hopes will be enough. At the same time, he figures anything is better than the rags the boy is currently wearing. He muses for a moment how MacKenzie managed to find them, but in the end he figures it doesn’t really matter.
Glancing at the old clock hanging on the wall, he is almost startled to see that half an hour has already passed. Worry settles deep within in his bones as he springs to his feet and rushes over to the bathroom door.
Jesse hasn’t made a sound.
He keeps himself from ripping the door open in his haste to make sure the teenager is alright. Instead, he opens it slowly and sticks his head inside once the gap is large enough.
His heart stutters.
Jesse is on the floor, knees drawn close to his chest and arms wrapped around himself. He looks small and vulnerable, drawn in on himself to make himself look less like a target.
But for the first time since Gabriel found the teenager, he doesn’t look afraid.
He’s sitting just outside the shower, the water still falling in a steady flow. A light steam surrounds him and his feet are close enough that his toes catch droplets of water every few moments. They wiggle and curl when the water makes contact with skin, but they never move away.
And Jesse is smiling.
It’s small and frail, and so very unguarded.
Not willing to break the stillness that has settle over the room, Gabriel runs his gaze over the teenager.
While not entirely clean, the majority of the dirt and grime has been wiped away. It finally gives Gabriel a good look on the boy’s skin. It’s so much paler than he had first thought, though he can see the promise of a warm tan colour. The tips of his hair seem to have been wiped down as well, bringing forth a shade that reminds the Blackwatch Commander of pecan.
But all that disappears as Gabriel really looks at the teenager’s arms.
They’re covered in scars.
They run across Jesse’s arms like rivers down a valley, pathways in skin that should never have been there. Most of them are jagged and deep, untreated to leave such deep reminders in young skin. They are long and short, wide and thin. Some cross path while others stray far apart.
Most are permanent.
A strangled sound escapes the Blackwatch Commander without him meaning to and the sound immediately catches the teenager’s attention. Jesse’s head snaps up and Gabriel sees panic flash in the boy’s eyes, before they flicker with recognition. The teenager hurries to his feet and steps away from the shower, shoulders stiffening with that familiar fear.
Gabriel silently curses himself.
He smiles and steps into the room, leaving the door open. Jesse’s gaze flickers to the point over his shoulder, before they return to the Blackwatch Commander and Gabriel’s smile softens further as the teenager’s shoulders relaxes a fraction. He steps forward and holds the paper bag out.
“Here you go. Hopefully they will be a bit more comfortable than your current...clothes.”
Jesse blinks but reaches out, less hesitating than before. He tilts his head as he looks inside the bag, curious and uncertain. After a long moment, he looks back at Gabriel with large eyes.
“...for me?”
Gabriel chuckles softly.
“Of course. We can’t have you running around in your old ones. My husband would kick my ass if he found out.”
Jesse blinks, eyes flickering with confusion but then turns his attention back to the bag. Gabriel sees him swallow thickly as he reaches into the bag and pulls out the shirt. It’s simple with a deep red colour, but Jesse looks like he has just been handed a treasure.
As Gabriel’s gaze shifts to the torn shirt he teenager is wearing, he suspects it might as well have been.
“Why don’t you change, okay?” He takes a step backwards. “Take as long as you need.”
His only answer is a small nod, but it’s enough.
He leaves the bathroom, door slightly ajar, and walks over to the bed. He casts a glance at the clock, finding that it has moved to late evening. It explains the slight drop in temperature and he finds himself reaching for his duffle. He pulls out one of his spare hoodies, this one thankfully clean from blood, and turns as he hears the bathroom door open.
Jesse almost looks like a normal teenager.
If Gabriel ignores the scars, the grime that still lingers and the paleness of the boy’s skin, Jesse looks to be his thirteen years.
The relief is so strong it almost hurts.
As Jesse walks closer, Gabriel holds out the hoodie.
“Here you go. It can get pretty chilly here during the night.”
Jesse licks his lips but accept the article of clothing with little hesitation, pulling it on.
Gabriel smiles at the sight that follows.
The hoodie drapes over the teenager like a blanket, sleeves so long they cover the boy’s hands and hood so big it falls down to the brink of Jesse’s nose. The dark fabric hangs off the boy’s small frame, stopping at the teenager’s thighs.
Jesse looks so small.
The teenager pushes the hood up with a clad hand, but it falls down as soon as he lets go, hiding his eyes from view.
Gabriel finds himself smiling.
He gestures towards the bed with a nod when Jesse pushes the hood up once more.
“Come on. It’s been a long day.”
Jesse says nothing, but follows. He pulls himself up onto the mattress and curls up at the head of the bed, his back pressed against the wall. He folds his arms and rests his head on top of them, ignoring the pillow.
Gabriel lets him.
The Blackwatch Commander stays sitting, leaning his back against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. He waits for a few minutes, until he believes Jesse has fallen asleep, before he allows his eyes to slip closed.
He forces his body to relax, letting himself feel the exhaustion that has seeped deep into his bones. He breathes deeply, muscles slowly relaxes.
The room falls silent, the ticking of the clock the only other sound than two sets of steady breaths.
Gabriel’s eyes snaps open as he feels something brush up against the side of his thigh. His upper body turns, instinct kicking in, but it all screeches to a halt when he finds that it is Jesse and not a threat.
The teenager has shuffled across the bed until his back is pressed against Gabriel’s leg, hood still low over his face and hands hidden within the sleeves. He’s curled up but more relaxed than the Blackwatch Commander has ever seen him. His body rises and lowers with steady breaths, shoulders no longer stiff and guarding. He has allowed his body sink into the mattress, at ease for what Gabriel suspect might be the first time in his life.
Gabriel feels his heart flicker with something he can’t name quite yet.
Carefully, he lays his hand on top of the teenager’s back and when there is no flinch following the action, his thumb rubs across the boy’s right shoulder blade. He leans his head back against the wall and lets his eyes slip close.
The cold room feels a little warmer.
Notes:
So, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and until next time!
Hugs to y'all.
Chapter 12: Uncover
Notes:
Hey guys!
I apologize you have had to wait so long for this chapter, but I'm afarid it couldn't be helped. I was actually mostly finished with it about two weeks ago, but then there was an incident at work and I have needed this time to recover from it. I'm still not all better, but I will probably starting to write more regularly again.So because you guys are so patient with me, this chapter is the longest yet.
I hope you enjoy it.The titel of this chapter is inspired by Zara Larsson - Uncover
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sometimes Gabriel wishes he was more like his husband, in the sense of planning ahead.
Because he hasn’t. No plan of how to proceed from here, not even the faintest idea how he is supposed to move forward.
And it hits him while he sits at the breakfast table, that looks like it’s about to fall over from a piece of toast, dinking something that can barley pass as coffee. It hits him as he stares at a stain on the wall he thinks is old ketchup but it might as well be blood, he can’t be sure of which.
He has no plan.
He knows he has to figure something out and soon. He only has two days left before he’s expected back at the Headquarters and Gabriel knows Hell will be rained down upon him if he does not return on time. And it wasn’t safe for them to stay longer than necessary, not for him or for Jesse.
He has a bad feeling the Deadlock gang hasn’t been wiped out.
He has the suspicion that they had only managed to find one of the gangs many bases, that there were more spread out through the area, perhaps even through the whole country. If that is the case, Gabriel knows it won’t be long before members came looking for revenge.
It isn’t safe for them to stay.
Gabriel knows a transport was only a phone call away but before he knows Jesse would be safe, it wasn’t a chance he is willing to take.
The Blackwatch Commander feels like slamming his head against the surface of the table, but he has a suspicion it would break. Instead he places his elbow on top of it, frowns as the table creaks, and leans his head into his hand. His sips on his not-coffee and sighs deeply through his nose.
His gaze slips across the room until it lands on the small form curled up in the corner of the couch. The teenager is nibbling on a piece of toast, hood still draped low and a blanket around his shoulders. His knees are pressed loosely against his chest in a relaxed manner and his focus is entirely on the television in front of him.
Gabriel has no idea how old the thing is, how it survived everything that has happened or how the fuck he even got it to work. The screen blurs every few minutes and the sound sounds like it’s played through a cheese grater. Gabriel suspects the thing is older than the dust that covers about everything and normally he wouldn’t even have tried to get it working, but he knew Jesse had needed something to take his mind off what had happened over the last couple of days.
Gabriel spares a glance at the screen and almost lets out an amused huff of air. The current movie playing is older than him, with guns, horses and weird hats. Not something of his own taste but it certainly holds Jesse’s attention, the teenager’s eyes focused on the screen.
The small smile that has form slips from his expression and turns into a heavy frown, as the realization that this probably is Jesse’s first time experience with movies hits him deep in the chest. Gabriel shakes his head and silently curses the world.
He looks at the clock and winces, seeing that another two hours have passed without him even noticing. He rubs his forehead roughly and whispers a curse under his breath, hoping to halt the headache he can already feel brewing.
When he looks up, he’s a bit startled to see Jesse staring at him from over the back of the couch. The teenager’s hair looks like a bird’s nest, defying gravity and sticking out from beneath the hood in directions that shouldn't be possible. Half a toast hangs from between his lips and he blinks slowly, uncertain and confused.
Gabriel smiles and Jesse tilts his head to the side, the Blackwatch Commander forcing down a snort. Jesse turns slightly, forcing the man a little more and pulls the piece of toast from his mouth.
“Somethin’ wrong, Sir?”
Gabriel chokes on his coffee and coughs into his hand as the teenager stares at him with wide eyes.
“Geez, kid, I’m not that old.” He wipes his mouth with his sleeve. “Never call me that again.”
Jesse seems stunned by the request, if not a little frightened. He bites his lip and Gabriel can tell there is something on the teenager’s mind, but Jesse hesitates to speak. The Blackwatch Commander keeps silent and after a few moments, Jesse opens his mouth.
“But I heard the...the other’s call ya that?”
Gabriel doesn’t sigh, but it’s a close thing. Of all things the kid remembers, it had to be that.
“I’m their commanding officer, it’s sort of required for them to address me with that title.” He shrugs his shoulders. “And they only really use it when I’m pissed. I don’t really care for it, makes me feel old.”
Jesse looks confused by half the words he just said and Gabriel doesn’t blame him, the teenager probably doesn’t know the meaning of half of them. But he seems to understand the base of it, because he nods hesitatingly.
“Okay...but what am I supposed to call ya, S-”
Jesse looks like he bites his tongue to force himself to stop the ‘Sir’ that wants to slip out so naturally. The teenager’s shrinks into himself slightly, as if he expects the Blackwatch Commander to get angry at the slip, and lowers his gaze quickly in submission.
Gabriel knows that expectation is founded in experience.
He ignores the sick feeling that wells up in his stomach and forces a smile to his expression. Jesse perks up at the simple gesture and his shoulders relax noticeably.
“How about we just stick with ‘Gabe’, Niño.”
Jesse blinks.
“Gabe?”
Gabriel nods and takes another sip of his not-coffee.
“Yep. Only a few is allowed to, but you can consider yourself pretty high up on the list of people I make exceptions for.”
‘Like, right at the top, along with my husband.’
Jesse doesn’t say anything but Gabriel can see a small smile grown on the teenager’s expression, shy and breakable. The Blackwatch Commander feels something warm wrap around his heart and his own expression softens.
After few silent moments, Jesse nods.
“I will...Gabe.”
A few hours later, Gabriel has come to a conclusion that he hates. He has called one of his contacts, one the higher ups can never know about. The man had promised to help him, as he always did, and Gabriel knew they were one step closer to keeping Jesse safe.
But that isn’t the conclusion.
It’s now he realize his mistake, hours after he sent his team back to Headquarters.
He never sent anyone to check out the hideout Jesse told him about.
He hates himself for forgetting, hates himself for being so foolish. Because he knows he can’t leave until investigates it, until he knows what Deadlock is hiding in that mountain. He needs to know, needs to see what Jesse knows is there.
He wishes he could leave Jesse behind, but he can’t. It’s not safe.
The conclusion is; he has to take Jesse with him.
He puts off bringing it up for hours, until he knows he no longer can. Evening has started to settle in when he approaches Jesse, the teenager curled up on the bed with Gabriel’s phone spilling soft music around the room. Jesse looks up at him as he kneels in front of the bed, the Blackwatch Commander carefully taking the teenager’s hand in his much larger one.
“Jesse,” He swallows thickly. “I have to ask you something.”
Jesse stares at their hands, before he blinks up at the Blackwatch Commander and Gabriel knows he has the teenager’s entire attention. There is something in the boy’s eyes, not quite fear but something close to it.
Gabriel hates that for the first time, that fear is justified.
“You told me about a hideout in the mountain, you remember that?”
He feels Jesse stiffen instantly and he hears the teenager’s breathing picking up. Before Jesse can fall into a panic attack, Gabriel gently places his free hand on the back of the teenager’s head, hating the small flinch that follows.
But it seems to work.
Jesse relaxes slightly, his breathing evening out even if it’s still faster than Gabriel would have liked.
Slowly, Jesse nods.
“...yeah.”
Gabriel tries to smile, but it feels weak and breakable. He takes a deep breath through his nose, his thumb rubbing soothingly against the back of Jesse’s head.
“I wish there was another way, I truly do, but there isn’t.” He swallows. “I have to ask you to come with me.”
Jesse’s eyes widen. He lurches upwards and rips himself from Gabriel, the Blackwatch Commander letting him. Gabriel hates the fear, the betrayal, that springs to Jesse’s eyes, making those brown eyes brighten with fright and causes the teenager to curl in on himself.
He hates that the hope he worked so hard for, flickers.
Gabriel stays kneeling on the floor, making no movements to rise even as Jesse presses himself against the wall. Those wide eyes never leave him and Gabriel feels like he is going to cry as the boy’s entire frame begins to tremble with fear.
“Please, Mijo.” He begs, because he can’t have Jesse being afraid of him. He just can’t. “I don’t want to ask this of you, but I don’t have a choice. It’s not safe for you to stay here and I need you to be safe.”
Something in Jesse’s eyes changes, a flicker that disappears too fast for him to name it. The teenager turns his head slightly, the left side of his face turned towards the Blackwatch Commander and his hair falling forward to shield his eyes.
Gabriel swallows.
“Please, Mijo.”
A tense moment passes and Gabriel begins to fear the worst, when Jesse turns back to face him. He raises a shaking hand and pulls his hair to the side, his eyes focused on the man in front of him. The fear in those eyes is still there, but it has changed and is no longer directed towards Gabriel.
Gabriel opens his mouth, but Jesse speaks before he can get a word out.
“O-okay, I-I’ll go.”
Gabriel goes still and he doesn’t move for a long time, but when he does he reaches out for the teenager’s hand again. Jesse doesn’t flinch or pull away, but allows the larger hands to wrap around his.
“Are you sure, Mijo?”
Jesse nods, slow and uncertain.
“Y-yeah, I w-will take ya there.”
It takes a moment, but Gabriel nods and forces a smile. He rises and sits on the edge of the bed, keeping his movements slow. He pulls the teenager into a hug and feels his shoulders relax when Jesse doesn’t pull away. He smiles softly as Jesse slowly leans into the hug, his head resting against the Blackwatch Commander’s chest.
They leave the hideout half an hour later, in a “borrowed” car Gabriel knows no one will miss. The sun has starting to set, casting the landscape in a bright red and orange. They avoid the nearby town and Jesse leads the way, staying quiet if not to point out which turn to take.
He can tell the teenager is scared. Jesse is curled up in his seat with his arms wrapped around his knees, eyes focused straight ahead.
They reach the mountain just as Gabriel is able to make out the first stars settling across the sky. He turns off the car and gets out, Jesse following after hesitating for a few seconds. Gabriel walks forward, scanning the area and it’s only when he’s a few feet away from the car that he notices that Jesse isn’t following.
The teenager still stands by the car, knuckles white as he grips the open door so hard Gabriel worries the metal will bend. Jesse isn’t looking at him, eyes focused on the point in front of the Blackwatch Commander.
Gabriel turns his gaze back forward and sees it. Two dead trees with a large rock between them. The trees are dark and old, cracks sprinting across the bark like spider web. The rock is at least three meters tall and just as wide, more a boulder than a rock. It’s the same red as the mountain, so much that it is almost impossible to see.
Gabriel startles as he feels something grip the edge of his sleeve and when he looks down, Jesse is standing beside him.
He hadn’t even heard the teenager move.
Jesse looks terrified. He’s trembling and his breathing is too quick for Gabriel’s liking. He places a hand on the teenager’s shoulder and when Jesse glances up at him, he smiles softly.
“It’s okay, Mijo. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay?”
Jesse nods slowly, but doesn’t let go of his sleeve and Gabriel doesn’t make him. He doesn’t move forward, not yet, and scans the area for any danger.
He finds none.
The area seems abandoned, but Gabriel has enough experience to know that looks can be deceiving.
He’s not willing to take that risk.
He pulls free one of his shotguns from where it rests against his hips, already loaded, and steps forward. He feels Jesse press against his side and he turns his hand to hold the teenager’s.
It’s eerily silent.
He has almost reaches the rock when Jesse stops, forcing him to come to a halt as well. He looks down at the teenager but Jesse’s head is turned towards the ground, eyes closed in what Gabriel realizes are concentration. He’s about to ask, when Jesse’s eyes snaps open and he turns his gaze to the West.
“Jesse, what-”
“Someone’s coming.”
Jesse’s voice is no more than a whisper, but Gabriel hears the words loud and clear. He quickly looks around, trying to spot any danger but he finds nothing. The Blackwatch Commander turns back to the teenager, but finds that Jesse is still staring in the same direction. He raises his own gaze towards the West and that is when he sees it.
A small aircraft, one Gabriel easily recognizes.
It’s Overwatch.
And it is heading straight for them.
Gabriel spins on his heel and lifts Jesse up, carrying the teenager over to a couple of rocks with a bush growing beside them. He carefully pushes Jesse behind them, making sure he can’t be seen. Jesse stares at him, eyes wide with fear. There is a tremble in his body and he curls into himself, pressing his back against the rocks.
Gabriel gently brushes his hands through the teenager’s hair, giving the Jesse a soft smile.
“Stay here, Mijo.” He rubs Jesse’s cheek with his thumb. “Stay here and be as quiet as you can, okay? Stay here until I tell you it’s safe.”
Jesse hesitates for a second, but then nods and tries to push himself further against the rock. Gabriel nods once before he stands up and walks away from the hiding place, his shotgun still drawn as he waits for the aircraft to reach him. It takes only a few minutes and his grip tightens around the handle of his gun as the ramp begins to lower.
He almost drops the gun as the man walks down the ramp.
“Jack?”
The Overwatch Strike-Commander stops as soon as his feet hit solid ground and crosses his arms over his chest.
“Hello, Gabriel.”
The Blackwatch Commander flinches at the venom that drips from the other man’s voice. Jack’s eyes narrows and his gaze flickers to the shotgun, before it returns Gabriel.
“I see you have prepared the same warm welcome as always.”
Gabriel quickly puts the gun back into the holster on his hips and throws his arms open, forcing a wide and happy smile to his lips.
“Babe, it’s wonderful to see you.” His voice grows strained and his arms drop slightly. “What are you doing here?”
Jack doesn’t move and his expression remains the same. He taps a finger against his arm and Gabriel feels himself shrink under that steel cold gaze.
“I’m here because my husband is an idiot.”
Gabriel lets out a wince and drops his arms, his smile growing tight and uncomfortable.
“I technically had two more days.”
Gabriel almost takes a step back as Jack growls.
“That was before your team returned without you! Exactly what was I suppose to think?”
Gabriel shrugs.
“That I was fine?”
“Gabriel.”
“Yes, honey?”
Jack’s eyes narrows further and Gabriel feels a shiver run down his spine.
“I will punch you.”
Gabriel lets out a strangled chuckle and rubs the back of his neck.
“I know you will.” He looks up at the other man and smiles softly. “It’s good to see you, Jackie.”
But Jack doesn’t relax like he expected him to. He remains stiff and stares at the Blackwatch Commander with a calculated gaze. His back is straight and stiff, the finger still tapping against his arm.
“Now, I would believe that if you weren’t hiding something from me.”
Gabriel swears his heart leaps into his throat and he forces himself not to glance at the spot he knows Jesse is still hiding. He takes a couple steps forward and smiles, but he can feel the cracks in it.
Cracks he knows his husband spots.
“Jackie, babe, you really-”
“What are you hiding, Gabriel?”
Gabriel sees something flicker in Jack’s eyes, a mixture of worry and uncertainty. The Strike-Commander’s whole body is pulled as tight as a bow string and his knuckles are white from the grip he has of his own arm. From where he stands, Gabriel can see that Jack has bitten his fingernails.
His husband only does that when he’s truly worried.
Gabriel hates that he is the cause of that.
Jack finally looks away, his gaze flickering down towards the ground while his shoulders fall in defeat.
“Don’t you trust me, Gabe?” he whispers.
Gabriel feels his eyes widen and he immediately rushes forward, gripping his husband’s shoulders. He speaks with urgency, his voice wavering in a tone that borders to desperation.
“Of course I do, Jackie. There’s no one I trust more.”
It takes a moment before Jack is willing to meet his gaze but when he does, those beautiful blues he loves so much is shimmering with hesitation. When Jack speaks, his voice is soft and quiet.
“Then why won’t you tell me what’s going on? It isn’t like you to keep secrets from me.” He bites his lip. “Have I done something wrong?”
Gabriel quickly shakes his head and puts what he hopes is a comforting hand on the back of his husband’s neck, his eyes pleading.
“No, no Jackie. I never wanted you to think that, it’s just that – I didn’t – argh!” He leans forward and rests his head against the other man’s chest, relieved when Jack doesn’t move away. “I didn’t mean for things to get this complicated, I didn’t mean for you to worry, it’s just...I needed to be sure that it would be safe.”
Jack stays quiet for what feels like an eternity but when he speaks, the hurt in his voice has been replaced with unease.
“Gabe, what’s going on?”
The Blackwatch Commander slowly straightens with a deep breath and squeezes his husband’s neck reassuringly. He smiles and pulls away, taking a couple steps backwards. He holds up his hands and lets out a short sigh.
“Alright, alright. I will tell you exactly what’s going on.” He pauses, not sure how to continue. “You know how you always brought home stray animals when you were growing up, but your mom never let you keep any of them?”
Jack blinks, thrown off by the sudden unrelated question. He stares at his husband for a long moment before he slowly nods his head.
“Yes, but what does that have to do with everything?”
Gabriel claps his hands together and smiles nervously.
“Well, you see...I found this little guy that I believe would be perfect for us.” He glances over his shoulder and speaks softly. “It’s okay for you to come out now.”
Jack reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose when the words actually registers and he sighs loudly as he places his free hand on his hip.
“If you are seriously telling me that all this trouble is for some stray that you stumbled across, I swear I will...”
Jack’s words fall apart as a boy, a child, comes out from behind a pair of rocks and hesitantly walks over to Gabriel. The child presses himself close to the Blackwatch Commander’s side, hands wrung together and eyes cast low. He’s wearing a hoodie that is far too large for him, once Jack recognizes as Gabriel’s, and Jack can sense the fear radiating from the small body in front of him.
He’s so small.
It’s a struggle to tear his gaze away from the boy, but he does and focuses on his husband. He sees how naturally Gabriel lays an arm across the boy’s shoulders, protective and comforting, and knows.
He knows.
“Gabe, what...”
“Jackie, this is Jesse.” Gabriel’s voice is soft and kind. “Jesse, this is my husband, Jack Morrison.”
Notes:
Big Blue has entered the picture! Yay!
So, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and until next time!
Hugs to y'all.
Chapter 13: Meet Me On The Battlefield
Notes:
Next chapter is finally out. Sorry for the long wait, guys. For that, I tried to make this chapter a little longer than normal.
I hope you like it and that I haven't disappointed you.Not much else to say.
Until next time.
Love you all.I'm going to bed.
The titel of this chapter is inspired by SVRCINA - Meet Me On The Battlefield
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Jackie, this is Jesse.” Gabriel’s voice is soft and kind. “Jesse, this is my husband, Jack Morrison.”
“Gabriel, what is going on?”
It’s not what his husband wants to hear, the Strike-Commander knows this. He sees the way Gabriel’s hold of the teenager grows more secure, more protective.
But Jack doesn’t know what else to say.
He had prepared for so many things during the flight, so many different scenarios running through his head. He was prepared for trouble, for injuries. For gun fire, blood and even for war.
He wasn’t prepared for this.
The silence that follows is heavy and Jack finds it a little harder to breathe, the air so thick it sticks to the walls of his throat. He stares at the teenager, who shrinks under his widen gaze and presses himself closer to the Blackwatch Commander. Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, he forces himself to look away from the boy and turns his eyes back to his husband.
Gabriel opens his mouth to speak, but Jack cuts him off before he can.
“Where did you find him?”
There is a desperation in his voice, a desperation that wraps around his lungs and leaves them cold. He swallows thickly as Gabriel looks away and refuses to meet his eyes. Jack feels something tremble in his chest, something he can’t put a name to.
It scares him.
“Where did you find him, Gabriel?”
Gabriel keeps his eyes locked on the ground, shoulders squared and stiff. Jack waits, because he needs an answer, even as he prays for his husband to remain quiet. Because if his suspicions are confirmed, his husband is asking him for a promise he’s not sure he can keep.
It feels like forever, but brown eyes finally meets blue and Jack knows the answer.
Something that tastes a lot like betrayal fills his mouth.
“He’s Deadlock.”
It’s not even a question.
Gabriel’s snarl takes him by surprise and he takes a step back as his husband steps in front of the teenager, using his own body to shield the boy from the Strike Commander.
“The Hell he is!” Venom drips from each word, thick and deadly. “He might have been found in their hideout, but he is not one of them!”
Jack tries to swallow past the bitter taste the mouth, but it feels as dry as the Sahara desert. Two pair of brown eyes stares at him, one pair suspicious and the other terrified.
He doesn’t know which one is worst.
“Why is he here, Gabriel?”
Out in the open.
With the Blackwatch Commander.
Free.
Gabriel’s eyes harden until they remind Jack of flint and he pushes the boy even further behind him, away from untrusting blue eyes.
“He’s not dangerous.”
Jack feels something flicker inside his chest, growing until it feels like a blazing fire. He steps forward with a snarl because, while he is feeling a lot of things, anger is the strongest. Because he doesn’t understand.
“Of course he is! He is part of a gang-”
“He didn’t choose to be!”
Jack doesn’t scoff, but it’s a close thing.
“That doesn’t matter! What’s to stop him from stabbing you in the back-”
“He isn’t like that! He’s not going to hurt any-”
“He’s Deadlock!”
“He’s mine!”
Any words, any arguments, Jack might had had, he finds falling apart. They die on his tongue and he feels the fire in his chest snuff out of existence, leaving something cold and hollow. His eyes widen until it’s almost painful and his lungs burn, but he can’t seem to get them to work.
He stares at his husband.
His husband, who left to take care of a gang and instead, found a child.
A child, who is a member of Deadlock.
A child...
...who’s terrified.
The child, Jesse Jack’s mind supplies, is staring at him from behind Gabriel, hand shaking despite the knuckle-white grip he has of the Blackwatch Commander’s hoodie.
Wide brown eyes stares at him with more fear than Jack has ever had directed towards him.
When he meets those brown eyes with his own blue, the child flinches and Jack swallows thickly.
He’s so very small.
It feels like he sees the boy and not the criminal for the first time. He finally sees what his husband has seen all along.
A young child.
His husband’s hoodie drapes over his frail frame like an oversized blanket, but it does little to obscure the boy’s trembling. Hair Jack suspects has never experienced a comb hangs across a hollow face, a trail of freckles hiding beneath locks of brown.
Jack fears what hides beneath it all.
He forces his eyes away from the teenager and instead brings his focus back on his husband.
His husband, who looks ready to attack.
Jack blinks and shakes that thought because, no, this isn’t Gabriel ready to attack.
This is his husband ready to defend.
Jack raises his hand and feels his heart crack when Gabriel takes a step back, forcing more distance between them. He swallows painfully and tries to ignore the tugging in his chest as he draws a trembling breath, his lungs icy and stiff.
“Gabe...”
His voice holds a frail tone he has never heard from himself before and it scares him, because he never thought it would be there when he was talking to Gabriel.
Gabriel doesn’t answer but this time, he doesn’t take a step back as Jack takes another one forward. He opens his mouth but all words die on his tongue as he meets his husband’s eyes.
Gabriel’s eyes are pleading.
Something inside Jack’s cracks so loudly he hears it with his own ears.
He swallows and tastes acid. He feels the fight leaves his body, shoulders slumping heavily and he suddenly feels like he hasn’t slept for days. The exhaustion feels heavy, one he has never really experienced before.
He looks at the ground for a long time, before he glances at his husband.
“Where did you find him?”
This time, there is no malice in the question. The desperation is still there, but its core has changed. There something else laced into the desperation, something much more sober and concerned.
“Jack?”
The Strike Commander raises his gaze, to find that his husband is looking at him with a mixture worry and hesitation.
“Was he alone, Gabriel?”
His voice is soft, only just enough to carry over to the other man. It takes a moment, but Gabriel nods slowly.
“He was.
“Was he-”
“He has no one.” Gabriel whispers and Jack swallows thickly. “He needs me, Jackie.”
Jack stays silent, hesitating on what to do next. His gaze slides back to the child, who is still staring at him. A small gust of air tugs at locks of brown and Jack swears he spots specks of gold, but they are gone before he can be sure.
Jack looks back at his husband.
“How old is he?”
Gabriel takes a moment to answer.
“...thirteen.”
Something hard forms at the base of his throat, a bitter taste settling on the top of his tongue. He’s just thirteen and yet, Jack would have guessed younger by the boy’s frame alone.
He’s so small.
Jack sighs and shakes his head. He tries to swallow the bitter taste, but it’s consistent and lingers despite his best attempts. He glances back at the boy and finds brown eyes still focused on him, but now with a little less fear and a little more curiosity.
The heavy feeling in his chest feels a little lighter.
He opens his mouth to speak but before he can, the boy rushes forward and puts himself between the two men. Both Gabriel and Jack freezes, both shocked by the boy’s sudden action. The teenager is trembling so bad Jack wonders how he’s still able to stand, but his eyes flicker with determination.
“Pl-please, do-don’t...don-don’t be a-angry w-with him!” His voice cracks, like it’s scraping against his throat. “He-he d-didn’t...h-he di-didn’t...”
Jack raises his hands in what he hopes is a calming gesture, but the boy still stumbles back, pressing up against the Blackwatch Commander but making no movement to hide. Gabriel quickly puts a reassuring hand on the teenager’s shoulder and Jack is not blind to how natural the gesture is.
He can see the way Jesse leans into the touch.
Taking a deep breath, Jack forces a small smile and steps forward. He stops a few feet in front of the boy and kneels down, making himself appear smaller and his smile gets a little easier when the teenager relaxes a fraction. As he opens his mouth to speak, he keeps his voice soft and reassuring.
“I promise I’m not angry, with either of you.” Jesse looks unconvinced and Jack doesn’t blame him. “I’m sorry I made it seem that way. I was just worried.”
It takes a moment, before Jesse slowly nods. Jack can tell the teenager doesn’t really believe him and Jack has only himself to blame for that. He widens his smile slightly and tilts his head a fraction.
“You’re name is Jesse, right?”
The teenager bits his lip, but nods.
“Yes, sir.”
Jack smile turns into a frown, but there is no menace in it.
“There’s no need for that. I’m not much for such things.” His smile returns. “And I know neither is my husband. I know Gabe has already told you not to call him that, am I right?”
Jesse nods and manages a small smile.
Jack feels something warm flicker deep within his chest.
The Strike-Commander rises and ignores the way the teenager presses himself a little closer to the Blackwatch Commander. He keeps the smile on his face, never letting it waver, and places his hands on his hips.
“Just call me Jack, okay?”
Jesse stares at him for a long moment, before he nods. Jack’s smile widens a fraction and he catches the moment the teenager’s gaze flickers to behind him, focusing on the ship for a fraction of a second.
It’s enough.
Jack’s turns slightly and gestures to the ship.
“You want to have a look?”
Jesse’s eyes widen and he doesn’t answer, quickly lowering his gaze to the ground. It takes Gabriel gently nudging him to make him look up again and when he does, Gabriel smiles and gives a small nod.
“Go ahead, Mijo. I will be right here.”
A minute ticks by, before Jesse goes. He steps away from the Blackwatch Commander slowly, hesitating, before he moves forward. He keeps a wide arc from the Strike-Commander, but neither man says a word. They watch him go, before they turn to each other.
Jack’s eyes narrows.
The silence between them is thick and as Jack speaks, his voice is like a gunshot.
“Do you realize what you’re asking me to do, Gabriel?”
His husband swallows but nods, meeting his eyes.
“I do.” He takes a step forward. “I know it’s...He needs me, Jackie.”
Jack’s expression softens and he smiles at the surprise in his husband’s eyes.
“I know.” He whispers and steps forward. He takes his husband’s hands in his and snorts softly at Gabriel’s shocked expression. He looks down at their joined hands and swallows. “I’m sorry for not understanding, but I think I do know...or I’m trying to. It won’t be easy and it will be dangerous but if this is what you believe is right, then I’m willing to fight this battle with you.”
Gabriel stares at his.
“You mean...”
“You’re right. He needs you.” Jack smiles. “And maybe he can need me too.”
Notes:
So, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!
Hugs to y'all.
Chapter 14: You Will Be Found
Notes:
Surprise! The next chapter is out and it hasn't been a month since the last one.
I'm feeling so proud of myself!Now, this chapter isn't as long as the preivious one, but I felt best to end where I did to get a better flow.
But I'm planning to make the chapters longer in the future. Well, I'm gonna try.Hope you all like it and prepare yourself for some FEELS!!!
I'm going to bed.
The titel of this chapter is inspired by Dear Evan Hansen - You will be found.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jesse stops only when he stands in front of the giant metal wall of the ship’s left side. The metal is a clear blue that shines in the bright moonlight of the night, so clear that he can see his reflection in the polished surface.
He doesn’t recognize the person staring back at him.
He takes a step back, flinching when he can see that his eyes flicker. His arms come up to wrap tightly around himself and he almost rushes back to the Gabriel, before he stops himself. He bites his lip and forces himself not to move, forces himself to remain where he is.
Because he knows Gabriel and the other man wants to talk in private.
Without him there.
He forces himself not to listen and his head rings from the sudden silence that follows. He flinches before he closes his eyes and tries to find something to focus on.
There is a lizard perched on top of a small rock a few feet away from him, flickering its tongue to taste the air. A single cricket hides within a lonely bush, playing sharply into the otherwise quiet night. A tumble weed skips across the desert floor a small distance away, the wind playing with those dry twigs.
Jesse feels his own heartbeat slow.
He forces a deep breath as he reopens his eyes, gripping the front of the borrow hoodie with one hand as his head throbs.
He doesn’t know what to think.
Everything is just so new.
The sky, the ground, the mountains.
The air.
It has been so long since he has seen any of it.
He had started to forget what it all looks like.
Jesse looks back at the two men and tilts his head at the sight that meets him. They are standing closer to each other now and the hostility seems to have dissipated, but he can feel the hesitation cling to the air.
It scares him.
A lot of things that has happened recently do.
He can’t name what it is he is feeling, but it feels like his chest is being crushed and not in the way he is familiar with.
He turns to the open landscape that lies behind the large ship. He can see a mountain range across the horizon and he wonders what lies beyond it.
He places his free hand against the cold metal to ground himself , because he can feel himself slipping.
It would be so easy to run.
There is no attention focused on him at the moment, no one is watching him. He could so easily slip away, disappear without looking back.
He wonders for a moment, if Gabriel would let him go.
His nails dig into the metal beneath his hand.
He knows they will not.
Forcing himself to let go of the ship, he grabs his wrist and grits his teeth hard enough to make his jaw pop. His nails dig into his own skin, bringing forth small beads of blood. It stings, but Jesse can finally feel himself being able to breathe again.
He looks back at the horizon.
His shoulders slump in defeat and he sighs deeply, because no matter how easy it would be, he can’t run. There is nowhere for him to run to, nowhere for him to go.
Nails sinks deeper into his skin.
And...
He glances over his shoulder.
....Gabriel makes him feel safe.
He has never felt safe before.
His nails slowly retract from his skin and he breathes deeply through his nose. He steals another glance over his shoulder and bites his lower lip.
Perhaps this new person, this Jack, can be safe too.
His head snaps to the side as the lizard leaps from the rock and scurries off into the night. He blinks as he suddenly realizes the cricket has fallen silent, the only thing he can hear being the wind playing across the land in a lonely dance. His eyes narrows as the hairs on the back of his neck stands and a shiver travels down his spine.
It’s not safe to stay.
He spins on his heel and quickly sprints back to Gabriel, catching the attention of the two men the second he moves. Worry drips from them both and as the two turns to meet him, he stumbles to a stop and takes a step back. His shoulders rise despite his attempt to keep them down and he quickly lowers his gaze to the ground.
He had interrupted them.
He is never supposed to interrupt.
“Jesse?”
He flinches despite the soft tone of Gabriel’s voice and he can’t bring himself to look away from the ground. He waits from the screaming to start and for the blows to rain.
They never come.
Instead, a warm hand is gently placed on his shoulder and he is so surprised by this that his head snaps up. He blinks as Gabriel is looking at him with a smile and not with the anger he had expected.
“What’s wrong, Mijo?”
Jesse blinks.
Gabriel isn’t angry with him and he doesn’t really know what to do with that realization. He interrupted, Gabriel should be furious with him.
But he isn’t.
He dares a quick glance at Jack, who stands just behind Gabriel, but the blonde is also smiling at him, if not a little strained. He looks back at Gabriel and the man is waiting patiently for him to speak.
Jesse can’t find his voice.
“Mijo?”
Jesse swallows thickly.
“...it’s...it’s not...not safe...”
It’s all he manages to get out but it seems to be enough, to which he is relieved. Gabriel’s eyes narrows, but Jesse is surprised to find that there is still no anger in his gaze. Both he and Jack look around quickly, before Gabriel looks back at him.
“Is there someone around here right now?”
Jesse swallows and quickly shakes his head.
“T-there shouldn’t be.” He bits his lip. “B-but s-she said they were s-suppose t-to...”
His words fall apart as suspicion fills Gabriel’s still narrowed eyes and he almost flinches away, but the man’s hold of his shoulder remains loose.
“Jesse,” Gabriel says slowly. “Who is she?”
His eyes widen so much it hurts and the air in his lungs freezes. He quickly lowers his gaze to the ground and he grips the front of the hoodie so hard his knuckles cracks, his whole body trembling so hard it feels like his knees about to give.
He quickly steps away from Gabriel, wrenching himself from the man’s gently hold while he franticly shakes his head. He tries desperately to force air into his lungs, but it feels like he’s trying to breathe underwater.
It’s just as impossible as he is familiar with.
He feels like he is about to slip over the edge when a pair of arms wrap around him, bringing him close to a chest he has started to become familiar with. He fights at first, but calms slowly as he hears a comforting voice breaking through the fog that has settled around him. He gulps down a deep breath and it hurts, but feels so amazing at the same time.
He blinks past the tears as the slips down his cheeks and he can see the front of Gabriel’s hoodie, almost identical to the one he is wearing. He slowly looks up and is surprised to see Gabriel smiling down at him.
“It’s alright, Mijo.” His voice is warm and soft, comforting. “Deep breathes, okay? That’s good, just take deep breathes.”
Gabriel brushes his thumbs against his cheeks, wiping away his tears despite them being replaced by fresh ones. A whine escapes the teenager and he curls up in Gabriel’s arms, pressing himself against the man’s chest.
For a moment he’s afraid the Gabriel will push him away, but the man only holds him tighter.
He sobs.
He feels large fingers comb through his hair and for the first time in his life, he finds no need to flinch away from the touch. His hands rise to wrap around Gabriel as far as his arms allow and his fingers dig into the fabric of the hoodie, but Gabriel never complains.
“You don’t have to tell me, Mijo.” Gabriel whispers after a minute. “Not until you’re ready, alright?”
Jesse is not sure he can believe those words, but he nods anyway. He draws a shuddering breath and tightens his hold of Gabriel for a moment, before he pulls away.
He thinks it might be his imagination, but Gabriel seems reluctant to let him go.
Jesse quickly tries to dry his tears while he keeps his gaze lowered.
“...sorry” he mumbles.
Gabriel hands settles on his shoulders and his thumbs carefully rubs soothing circles. Jesse feels himself slowly relax and he dares a quickly glance upwards, managing to draw a deeper breathe as the man in front of him smiles.
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Mijo.” Gabriel’s voice is firm, but warm. “You did nothing wrong, okay?”
Jesse doesn’t believe him, but nods anyways.
Gabriel seems satisfied with the small notion and gives Jesse another smile, before he looks back at Jack.
“We need to hurry.”
Jack doesn’t argue, he only nods and strides back into the ship. Jesse watches him disappear behind a wall of metal, before he looks back at Gabriel. He swallows thickly before he speaks.
“A-are we l-leaving?”
Gabriel’s expression tightens and his thumbs stop their soothing motion.
Jesse feels his heart drop.
“Not yet, Mijo. I still need to have a look inside.” He tries to smile, but it comes out strained. “I will be quick, I promise.”
Jesse doesn’t know what to say and before he can think of anything, he hears Jack walk down the ramp again. He turns his head and his eyes widen when he spots the weapon now in the man’s arms. It’s a rifle, he knows that much, but it’s unlike any Jesse has ever seen.
It’s almost as impressive as Gabriel’s double shotguns.
“Are you ready?”
Jack gives a single nod.
Gabriel turns back to the teenager.
“Do you want to come with us, Mijo?”
Jesse’s eyes widen, this time with utter fear. He wrenches himself free from Gabriel’s hold and stumbles backwards, almost tripping before he finds his balance. Gabriel calls out for him, but Jesse can’t hear anything over the ringing in his ears. He spins on his heel and runs until he collides with the wall of the ship, which causes him to fall.
He curls up on the ground and scoops back until his back hits the wall of the ship. He wraps his arms over his head, nails digging into his scalp as his breathing speeds up to the point of hyperventilation. Tears stings his skin and he bites his lip so hard it bleeds to keep himself from crying out.
He finds himself begging, pleading with a voice that cracks with each word. It has never helped him in the past, but he prays it will now.
He can’t go back.
He cries out as something warm lands on his arm, but he no longer has the energy to run. He only curls up further and beg for it all to stop.
He doesn’t fight as two arms lifts him up, he stops begging as they wrap around him. He sobs as his head is leaned against a broad chest his beginning to become familiar with. He whines as a hand combs through his hair, gently prying his fingers away from his abused scalp.
He breathes as the arms starts to rock him.
His body trembles so hard it hurts, but he can’t seem to stop.
He just feels so cold.
And then, he suddenly doesn’t. Something heavy, but warm is draped over his shoulders. He blinks through the tears and then his vision is filled with a soft blue, his nose assaulted with something sweet. He slowly becomes aware that a hand is carefully rubbing his back and he turns his head to the side to see Jack smiling at him.
There is no longer a strain in that smile.
Jesse blinks and notices that man is now wearing only a black shirt with a chest plate over it.
It takes a moment before he realizes it is Jack’s coat that has been draped over him.
Jesse stares at Jack, unable to form any words. Even if he could, he isn’t sure what he could possibly say. He thought they would have been angry with him, furious that he had showed such weakness.
But they aren’t and Jesse doesn’t know what to feel. He is not used to people not being angry with him. Anger he knows how to handle, but not this.
It scares him.
He slowly becomes aware that both Gabriel and Jack are very close to him, both of them holding him in some way. He expects it to hurt, but it doesn’t.
He knows he should be afraid, but there is no fear. For the first time in his life, he isn’t afraid. He almost feels comfortable, warm and so many more feelings he can’t even name. He closes his eyes slowly and a small smile tugs at his lips, tears still dripping down his cheeks.
He feels safe.
Notes:
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!
Hugs to y'all.
Chapter 15: Dementia
Notes:
Well, this didn't go as planned. I really thought I would have had this chapter out sooner, but I gussed Life had other plans.
The main reason this took so long is because I might have been overworking myself slightly to the point to when I finally have time to write, my head is just to heavy for it.But now, I'm on vacation so hopefully I will be able to post the next chapter soon.
Can't believe you guys haven't tired of me yet.The titel of this chapter is inspired by Dark Piano - Dementia
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Neither Gabriel nor Jack asks him if he wants to come with them after that, Jack instead asking him to guard the ship. Jesse stares at the man for a long moment, taking a quick glance at the ship before he nods. Jack hands him a card no bigger than the palm of his hand, sleek and shiny with the man’s face in one of the corners.
Jesse holds the card carefully with both hands, afraid of breaking it. He looks up to meet Jack’s eyes with his own as the man places a hand on his shoulder and prides himself that he only flinches a little.
Jack doesn’t seem to mind.
“This is my personal card, so keep it safe alright?” He smiles, soft and encouraged. “I will need it later.”
The card suddenly feels heavy in his hand and he has to blink the wetness away from his eyes. He forces his fingers to not tighten around the card, afraid to breaking it, and draws a breath that ends in a shudder.
No one has ever asked him to keep anything safe before.
Swallowing thickly, he nods. He stands a little straighter and pulls his shoulders back, his gaze narrowing in determination.
“I promise.”
His voice shakes slightly, but the promise still rings clear. Jack’s smile softens and he lets go of Jesse’s shoulder to pull the blue coat a little tighter around the teenager. He raises his hand slowly and when the boy doesn’t pull away, he runs his fingers through locks of brown.
Jack’s heart grows warm as the action brings forth a small but sincere smile.
He steps back a moment to allow Gabriel to takes his place and the other man waste no time kneeling in front of the teenager. He carefully grabs the boy by the arms, his expression firm but concerned.
“Listen carefully, Mijo. Me and Jackie will be as quick as we can, I promise, but until we come back you just promise me to stay safe.” There is a plea in his voice. “If you see someone, anyone, scream as loud as you can, okay? Do you understand?”
A tense moment passes, before Jesse nods. Gabriel smiles softly and brings the teenager into a tight hug. Jesse clings for a moment to the man, before he forces himself to let go. He steps back, Gabriel’s hands lingering on his shoulders before the Blackwatch Commander steps backwards. He looks at the teenager for a long moment, before he turns and nods towards his husband.
Jesse watches the two men walk away, shoulders tense and weapons drawn. He keeps his eyes on them until they slip inside the opening and he can no longer see them. He listens until their footsteps starts to fade away, walls of stone hiding them away from him.
He waits a moment, letting himself refocus on the world around him. The silence rings loudly in his ears and it sends a chill down his spine. His hands begin to tighten, but stops as the card begins to dig into his skin. He blinks and looks down, the sleek plastic glimmering in the light from the moon.
The card is still light in his hand, but the promise it holds is heavy and grounding. Slowly, he turns and walks up the ramp. When he reaches the opening, he sits down and stares out over the open landscape, the silent still ringing loudly.
The wind tugs slightly and his hair and he pulls the blue coat tighter around his shoulders. His eyes narrow as he focuses on the horizon and he can feel the tug in his finger tips, but he forces himself to breathe deeply, afraid of ripping the blue fabric that drapes over his shoulders.
He knows they will come, but he will not allow them to hurt the only two people that have ever cared about him.
He risks a glance back towards the opening and finds it near impossible to swallow past the lump that has formed in the back of his throat. He knows what they will find inside those rock walls and it worries him. It worries and scares him, because he knows what horrors hides within those rocks of red.
It scares him, what the two men will think of him when they find the truth.
He hopes and prays it will not change Gabriel’s promise to him.
He fears it will.
Gabriel hates the silent that follows as soon as they step inside. It feels heavy and stale, just like the air, and it clings disgustingly to their skin. The grip of his shotguns tightens until his knuckles cracks and he quietly draws a deep breath, raising the guns a little higher.
He glances backwards and is relieved to that Jack is sticking close. The other man’s grip of his own weapon is just as tight and his eyes are scanning everything around them. They move in sync, covering each other’s backs. It’s quiet, the only sound the gravel scraping beneath their shoes.
It’s disturbing.
As they move further inside, the air thickens and Gabriel feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. The corridor thins and suddenly there is a sheet in front of them, dirty and torn.
Gabriel stops and stares at it.
It is hiding something and whatever it might be, he isn’t sure if he is ready to find out what that is. It had scared him, the way Jesse had reacted when asked to come along. The teenager had been terrified at the mere thought of going aside, so afraid he had fallen into a panic attack when asked.
Fear like that, takes years to create a reaction so practiced.
Slowly, Gabriel clips one of his shotguns to his hip and reaches a hand out to grab the sheet. He feels Jack tense up behind him, the familiar sound of the man’s heavy pulse rifle echoing inside the tight space.
He manages to lift the edge of the sheet before the smell hits them both.
And it hits them hard.
Jack gags and Gabriel closes his eyes, concentrating hard so he doesn’t. It’s still a near thing and he feels his stomach turn as the smell thickens.
They both know the stench of rotting flesh.
The stench is so thick it stings their eyes and coats their tongues in a foulness that refuses to leave. It clogs their noses, leaving them unable to breathe without tasting or smelling the pungent air that clings to their skin like a heavy mist.
Gabriel hears Jack turn, coughing and gagging, and instinct tells him to turn around and walk away.
He moves forward.
He pushes the sheet aside and frowns when he finds another corridor, leading deeper into the mountain. There are no lights and the little shine the moon had provided doesn’t reach this far in, but he can spot a small flickering light at the end of the corridor.
He knows he will find the answers he’s looking for down by that flickering light.
He fishes a small flashlight out of his pocket and flicks it on, bashing the corridor in a soft yellow glow. He holds his shotgun a little higher as he begins to move forward, hearing Jack following him a few seconds later.
The stench thickens with each step they take and their want to run away grows with it but they still move forward, even as their eyes water and their noses burn.
Because he needs to know what makes Jesse so afraid.
He glances over his shoulder and finds Jack a few steps behind him, hand pressed over his nose in a desperate attempt to keep the stench at bay. Gabriel knows it’s a futile attempt, but he keeps quiet.
“I don’t like this, Gabriel.”
The Blackwatch Commander’s shoulders stiffens, no matter how hard he tries to force them to remain down, something he knows his husband spots despite the lack of real lightning. He moves a little faster and rounds a small corner but stops as he comes across another sheet, this one in a worst condition than the first.
“Gabe?”
Gabriel doesn’t move. There is a tone in his husband’s voice that he can’t name and it scares him.
It takes a moment, before his shoulders fall in defeat. He sighs deeply and lowers the flashlight until its light only shines on the floor, frown settling on his expression.
“I know you don’t.” He says softly. “And I’m sorry I forced you into this situation, but I just- I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t...”
The words dies on his lips as a hand suddenly grips his shoulder, firm but not unkind. He looks over his shoulder and finds a soft smile directed towards him.
“Hey, no, I’m not talking about the ki- Jesse. Not entirely anyways.” Jack chuckles, understanding but still with a bit of an edge to it. “I’m not thrilled that you chose to hide this from me, but...I think I understand, or I’m trying to.”
Gabriel doesn’t flinch, he forces himself no to but he knows Jack notices. Blue eyes soften and the hand on his shoulder tightens a fraction, reassuring.
“There are things we will have to discuss once we leave, but for now I will follow your lead.” He leans a little closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I trust you.”
Something in Gabriel’s chest eases and he finds it a little easier to breathe. He finds no words for how relieved he is that Jack will still stand by him, despite everything he forces his husband to be a part of. He wants Jack to know that, but his tongue seems to have lost the ability to work.
It doesn’t really matter, for Jack seems to understand.
They spend a moment in silence, before Jack pulls back and raises his heavy-pulse rifle a little higher, his finger resting on the trigger. Gabriel nods and lifts the flashlight back up, the grip on the handle of his shotgun tightening. His fingers tremble slightly as he lifts the hand still holding the flashlight and grabs hold of the sheet.
He gives a small tug and takes a quick step back as the sheet falls apart, so old and worn it can no longer hold its own structure. Gabriel looks up and the flashlight falls from his hand, clattering to the ground where it flickers off a second later.
What meet them looks like something out of a horror movie, but worse.
Because what they find isn’t a movie.
It’s real.
Gabriel feels his left eyes twitch and he flinches as Jack turns and throws up into a corner.
A large rang of equipment fills the barley lit room, tables scattered across with what reminds Gabriel of medical equipment surrounding them. Leather restrains hangs from the sides of the tables, lined with chains that spill across the floor. Tubes and IV’s stand beside every table, the plastic bags filled with black liquid and the needles at the end of them stained with blood.
At the back of the room, large holes as been carved out of the wall, so large it’s almost from the roof to the floor. Large bars of thick steel have been placed in front of all of them, jumper cables placed directly onto the bars and hooked to a large generator to create an electric prison.
Lined up in one of the corners are more cages, different sizes but all mobile. Several bars are bent or completely broken off, scratches and bite marks lining the metal floor and roof. Red stains have soaked into the metal, both old and fresh. Chains connect to the wall, while more hangs from the roof by hooks.
All across the room, on almost every surface, there is stains of black and faded red. Some are old and some are fresh, large and small. There is a mist in the air, clinging to everything and Gabriel finally knows the source of the foul stench that has followed them since they entered.
Corpses.
Four of them, all ripped apart and left behind.
They might have been human once, but they are too disfigured for the Blackwatch Commander to be sure.
It’s horrifying.
Their intel had pictured the Deadlock gang being involved with drugs and smuggling of illegal weapons.
Never anything like this.
Gabriel swallows down his own need to be sick and takes a few steps forward, scanning the room for something to explain all of this.
He finds nothing.
“Gabe.” Jack’s comes from behind him, low and shaken. “W-what is all this?”
Gabriel takes a breath that feels stale and rotten.
“I...I don’t know.” He whispers.
Jack doesn’t ask anything else and for that, Gabriel is thankful.
He has no answers to give.
They split up, weapons still drawn and the need to hurry unspoken between them.
Jack goes to a single large computer that’s mounted on the wall furthers away from the large amount of tables. The technology seems too new for gang like Deadlock and it’s the only thing in the room that lacks stains. He manages to get it started, but everything is locked and protected by several firewalls.
Whatever Deadlock has hidden on the computer, they have gone far to keep it from unwanted eyes.
Jack knows he will be unable to get through this on his own, but he also knows that they need to know what Deadlock is trying to hide. Because what they have found, isn’t normal.
Gabriel walks further inside the hideout. His eyes scans quickly, never lingering as the sights makes his stomach turn each time.
He walks over to the cages carved out of the wall and his eyes narrows as he spots something on the floor of the cell in the centre, a thick large chain that’s connected to the wall broken beside it. The door of the cell creaks painfully as he opens it and the Blackwatch Commander takes notice to the lock. It’s high-tech, acquiring both fingerprint and an eye scan too unlock.
Every cell door has a lock, but none with this cell’s level of security.
Whatever was kept in this cell, was special.
Gabriel kneels slowly, taking in the claw marks scarred into the floor and the spray of dried red that covers most of the cell.
He reaches out and his fingers close around solid cold metal.
It’s a collar.
It’s heavy and large, wider than his biceps and thicker than his thumb. It’s old, scuffs and dents dressing the black metal. He turns it over in his hand and finds a small screen with three square buttons beneath it, the sheet of glass cracked in a spider web pattern. His fingers brush against something on the inside lining of the collar and he lifts it to see better in the dim light a single bulb that hangs from the roof of the cell provides.
There is two wires lining the entire length of the collar and they connect to a single needle that is placed directly behind the screen. It’s a thick and long as his middle finger, made to break through even the thickest of skins.
It, like everything else, is stained with red.
He turns it over once more and something catches the light, a small reflection. He brushes his thumb across it and finds what he thinks is an engraving. The part of the collar that holds the engraving is the most abused part of the collar, bearing the signs of being rammed against a wall repeatedly.
There is a combination of numbers, but the Blackwatch Commander can only make out three of them.
13 5 5
He doesn’t know what it means, but he swears he will find out.
“Gabe, you need to see this.”
Jack’s voice breaks his thoughts and he stands up, still clutching the collar. He turns and walks up to his husband’s side, eyes quickly taking on what’s now being displayed on the massive screen in front of him.
Files and files as far as his eyes can track, all heavily secured.
“You managed to get into any of them?”
Jack shakes his head, frustration clear on his expression.
“No, they are all too heavily encrypted.” He frowns. “Gabriel, there’s thousands of them. What do you think they are trying to hide?”
“I don’t know but whatever it is, I don’t think we’re going to like what we find.”
“I agree.” Jack murmurs. “This goes further than anyone of us imagined.”
Jack sighs and stands straight, plucking a small device from one of the computer’s ports, sliding it into his pocket. He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, forcing himself to not look around.
“I have downloaded everything I can, but there’s not much more I can do. We need to re-”
“GABE!”
Notes:
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!
Hugs to y'all.
Chapter 16: Hold Me Now
Notes:
So the next chapter is out and I'm so proud for not taking over a month with this one.
You can accomplish so much while on vacation and sick *nearly hacks up a lung* ....yay.Now, I think I should warn you guys a bit about this chapter. It will be a bit bloody, among other stuff. Nothing too graphic, but it's not going to be very...nice, for the lack of better words.
But I still hope you will enjoy it!The titel of this chapter is inspired by Red - Hold Me Now
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"GABE!"
The scream cuts through the air like a knife, sharp and unforgiving. Even with the distance, the fear and panic is clear in that young voice. It’s a literal cry for help, begging them to just save him.
The two men share a look of unhidden fear, before they both turn and run.
Their shoes almost slips against the floor in their haste and Gabriel all but leaps out of the room, Jack already behind him. They sprint down the narrow corridor, heartbeats roaring in their ears as they push themselves faster. Gabriel lets go of the collar to pull his other shotgun from his hip as he jumps outside, fresh air invading his nose and replacing the stench.
He doesn’t even notice.
His heart stops for a second.
He can’t find Jesse.
What he finds, is an older hovercraft which has been overturned to its side and blood spilled fresh onto the ground. Jack’s coat lays on the ground not far away, the blue fabric torn and spotted with red on several places.
“JESSE!”
“GABE, HELP!”
The Blackwatch Commander spins and runs to the east, where the scream of Jesse is coming from, just around the corner. His footsteps echo into the night, followed by Jack’s own and their weapons loads with a deadly promise.
Gabriel rounds the corner and his blood boils.
Jesse has his back pressed up against the mountain wall, eyes closed tightly and blood sluggishly dripping from the reopened cut on his left cheek. There’s a new wound right above the teenager’s right eyebrow that bleeds into his eye, making him unable to see out of that eye had it been open.
His fingers dig into the hard ground, skin broken and bleeding into the rock beneath him. His clothes are torn in several places, but the hoodie obscured any more blood there might be. His teeth are grit so hard his gum bleeds, a bruise already forming across the bridge of his nose.
Two men, Deadlock logo stitched into the leather vests, surround the teenager.
A snare digs into Jesse’s neck, held by one of the men while the other holds a baton where sparks dance at the tip of it.
The men are too close for Gabriel to fire without risking hitting the teenager, or he would have blown their heads off.
Instead, he throws his shoguns to the ground.
“LET GO OF HIM, YOU BASTARDS!”
The two men jump in surprise but before either of them can turn around, Gabriel has wrapped his arms around the man holding the pole with the snare’s neck. The man drops the pole and starts to struggle, but Gabriel snaps his neck before he can do anything more. At the same time, Jack rams the end of his rifle into the second man’s windpipe, crushing it.
Both men are dead before they hit the ground.
Jesse collapses, the snare being the only thing that kept him upright. He curls up and rips at the snare around his throat with blood covered fingers, wheezing as he tries to breathe around it. He sobs as his fingers are too slick to grab hold of the metal that digs into his skin, tears falling down his cheeks to mix with the crimson already clinging to his skin.
He can’t breathe.
Hands suddenly touch him and he cries out, curling up tighter until it feels like his spine is going to snap.
He can’t go back there.
Gabriel promised he wouldn’t have to go back.
There are hands then to tug at the snare around his neck and he screams. He tries to throw himself away but his back only slams against the wall of the mountain, trapping him with no way to escape. He could fight back, but he can’t find the strength.
He is just too tired.
Suddenly, there is a sound he can’t identify and then he can breathe.
The snare falls away from his neck and he manages to draw in a struggling breathe, before his chest constricts in deep rattling cough. It shakes his whole body so badly everything hurts and he feels his stomach turn, before he gags and everything he has eaten sprays across the ground in front of him. His throat burns and the tears feel cold against his flushed skin, his nose clogged and his eyes stinging.
He turns his head and presses it against the hard cold ground, letting out a sob that turns to a desperate whine. Something drapes over him, heavy and warm, and a voice begins to break through the haze that has settled over him. He struggles to force his eyes open and only manages to open the left, his right glued together by the blood still running from just above his eyebrow.
Everything is blurred and unfocused, but he can make out the form of a man and for a moment, he fears it’s one of the men that had been sent to collect him. But the hand that combs through his hair is gentle and kind, so unlike the members of Deadlock.
He blinks and his sight slowly focus enough for him to make who hovers over him. Something in his chest eases as he recognizes Gabriel and his tears turns to ones of relief. His eye slips close and he lets out a broken sob, slowly being aware of the hand carefully brushing against his cheek.
He can hear Gabriel speaking, fast and worried, but he can’t make out the words. The fingers against his cheek trembles and he think he can smell the fear coming off the man, but he finds himself unable to form any words to ask why Gabriel smells so afraid.
He’s just so tired.
He thinks he hears Gabriel begging for him to stay awake, but Jesse finds his eye slipping close. Hands draw him to a strong chest and arms wraps around him protectively, holding him close and chasing away the cold that had started to seep into his bones. Gabriel is still pleading, but the teenager finds himself unable to listen.
As darkness surrounds his mind, he prays Gabriel won’t be angry with him for not staying awake.
Gabriel falls to his knees as soon as he has thrown the man to the side, hands hovering over Jesse uncertainly. His hands tremble so hard it feels like his bones are going to shatter and Jesse’s wheezing tears at his heart, stabbing at his chest like a knife. He swallows and tries to make himself speak, so that Jesse knows it’s him, but his tongue refuses to work.
Jesse starts to struggle.
He claws at the snare still around his neck, but fingers are slick with blood and instead his nails break through the tender skin of his neck. Fresh blood rushes forth and run down skin that has turned white as snow, blue lips still gasping for air.
Before he can think about, Gabriel grabs hold of Jesse’s hand to stop him but his heart shatters as the teenager wails and curls up until Gabriel fears his spine might snap. The Blackwatch Commander forces words out, soft but shaking, but any comfort he’s able to speak falls on deaf ears.
Gabriel feels tears rise to his eyes, because Jesse can’t fucking breathe.
Growing desperate, Gabriel tries to get the snare loose but the metal has been twisted and is digging too much into Jesse’s neck for him to just rip it apart, he can’t get a good enough grip of the thing. And as soon as he touch the snare, Jesse screams and throws himself back so hard against the rock wall Gabriel fears he might have broken bones.
Frantic, he crawls after the teenager and grabs him by the shoulders, trying to keep Jesse from hurting himself even more. He expects the boy to fight him again but to his horror, Jesse’s body slumps while the wheezing grows even shallower.
They are running out of time.
Gabriel makes a broken sound in the back of his throat, feeling himself beginning to slip into panic. He almost misses the movement in the corner of his eye but as he turns his head, Jack is suddenly beside him. His husband moves forward and it’s only then Gabriel noticed the pair of nippers in the man’s hand, which the Blackwatch Commander knows belongs to the ship’s onboard toolbox.
Gabriel hadn’t even noticed his husband leaving.
Jack reaches forward and leans Jesse’s head for better access to the teenager’s neck, Gabriel forcing back a sob as Jesse doesn’t even seems to notice. Jack presses his thumb into the teenager’s neck just above the snare and hates himself for the gurgled sounds the action brings from Jesse, but it’s the only way for him to get the nippers between the boy’s neck and the snare.
His other hand hugs the handle hard, so hard his knuckles cracks, and after a moment, the snare finally snaps and falls away. Gabriel immediately surges forward and lifts Jesse enough to slide the snare out from beneath him, throwing it as far away as his trembling hand manages. Jack drops the nippers and both men leans forward, sharing a looked of terror as Jesse’s small body stills.
But before they can do anything Jesse finally draws a struggling breath which, to their shared worry, turns into a rattling cough that shakes the teenager’s entire body. The teenager makes a sound and Gabriel just manages to turn Jesse’s head before sick sprays from the boy’s still bluish lips. It hits the ground and a part of Gabriel’s knees, but the man doesn’t care.
Gabriel rubs the teenager’s back, feeling every rib as Jesse heaves and gags. He hears Jack get up, but never lets his eyes wander from the boy in front of him. The sick spell last a few moments and once it’s over, Jesse turns and buries his face into the cold hard ground. The teenager lets out a sound that tugs at Gabriel’s heart and the Blackwatch Commander carefully rubs away a few tears that drips down the boy’s cheek, frowning as he feels the heat coming of the pale skin.
Jack returns and slowly drapes his coat over the boy, tucking it close to trap any reaming warmth. The Strike-Commander rubs his hands up and down Jesse’s arms, hoping to create some friction while Gabriel finally manages to get his tongue to work.
“It’s okay, Mijo. It’s okay.” His voice breaks. “Y-you’re safe now. Papá got you, P- papá’s here.”
His breathe trembles in his chest and a tear slowly makes it way down his cheek as Jesse’s left eyelid flutters, before it finally opens and stays that way. His pupil is blown wide, leaving his eye looking black, and there is a haze over it, like Jesse isn’t really seeing anything.
He looks broken.
Gabriel bites down a sob and instead forces a smile, despite his suspicion that Jesse doesn’t really see it. He leans a little closer and carefully combs his finger though Jesse’s wild hair, tugging gently at the knots that has formed in the struggle while his thumb softly rubs against the teenager’s cheek.
“It’s gonna be okay, Mijo.” He tries to breathe, but it feels strangled. “Papá and Pops will make everything okay, I promise.”
He swallows painfully as Jesse slowly blinks and a strangled sound follows as the teenager’s eye slips close. Gabriel shakes the boy by the shoulder gently, hoping to see that eye open again, but to his rising panic, it remains close.
“No, no, no, no, no, no.” His voice cracks and Gabriel doesn’t care if he’s crying anymore. “Don’t fall asleep, cariño. Keep your eyes open, keep looking at Papá.”
His pleas fall on deaf ears and the Blackwatch Commander sobs as Jesse small body goes limb. He pulls the teenager closer, wrapping his arms around the boy protectively, as if daring the rest of the world to get any closer. He leans Jesse’s head against his shoulder, wrapping the blue coat closer as he feels the teenager shiver against him.
Gabriel tires to swallow, but his throat burns.
“It’s gonna be okay.”
He hopes for a response, but gets nothing. He leans a little closer and the heavy feeling in his chest eases a fraction as his met with the evidence that Jesse is still breathing. It’s weak and shallow, but as long as it’s there Gabriel is not going to complain.
He worries about the teenager’s throat, the skin where the snare had dug in red and already looking inflamed. But the Blackwatch Commander also knows there is nothing he can do about it right now. He just has to pray Jesse is strong enough.
A hand on his shoulder snaps him out of his line of thoughts and he looks up to meet his husband’s crystal blues.
His heart twists at seeing the tears in them.
Jack is barely keeping himself from falling apart, but he stays strong for both his husband and Jesse. Gabriel is already looking more broken than Jack has ever seen him and him doing the same won’t help the situation.
His grip of the rifle is bordering on painful, but he can’t bring himself to loosen his grip. He knows they need to hurry, as he fears more of Deadlock is already on their way and they are in no condition to fight them.
And Jesse is in desperate need of medical attention.
They are running out of time.
“Gabe, we need to go.”
There is an urgency in his voice, wrapped tightly with worry and fear. Gabriel blinks at him and Jack almost worry his husband is too far gone, but before he can try again, the Blackwatch Commander manages a small nod and pushes himself to his feet. Jesse is pressed close to his chest and Gabriel wraps the coat around the teenager even more, hiding him from the night around them.
The two men share a quick look and a nod, before both of them rush back at the ship. Jack stops only long enough to pick up his husband’s shotguns and the collar, throwing them both into the ship rudely.
They don’t have time to be careful anymore.
Gabriel sprints up the ramp and sits himself down on one of the many seats closest to the cockpit, strapping himself in with some difficulty while still refusing to let go of Jesse. Once done, he leans back and pulls the teenager closer, whispering to the boy despite the knowledge that he won’t hear him.
Jack is almost up the ramp when he spots something in the distance and it forces him to a stop. His eyes narrow at the dust that rises to the sky and he feels something flickering in his chest, something harsh and angry, as he spots the two hovercrafts closing the distance between them.
His hand digs into the wall beside him, so hard the metal bends slightly.
He grits his teeth, whishing for nothing more than to rain Hell on those bastards that dared to hurt his family.
He forces himself to stay.
He’s needed elsewhere.
The Strike-Commander lets go of the wall and walks up the last of the ramp, slamming the button with a little more force than necessary and the ramps closes behind him. He drops his rifle to the floor, for once not caring if it’s damaged, and walks towards the cockpit.
He stops in front of Gabriel and bends down, pressing a soft kiss to his husband’s cheek, smiling when he feels the other man lean into the gesture. He carefully runs his fingers through Jesse’s hair before he leans down and places a kiss own his crown as well.
He thinks he understands Gabriel a little better now.
He rises and gives his husband a last smile, before he turns and walks to the pilot seat with purpose.
“Hold on. We’re going home.”
Notes:
Hope you all enjoyed the reading!
Until next time!Hugs to ya'll
Chapter 17: Pain
Notes:
Okay, okay, I know it has been a long time since I last posted and I know you are probably disappointed in me, but I'm afraid it couldn't be helped.
First, I'm ready to move out on my own for the first time so I have spent a lot of time looking for apartments. And I have finally found one, but there isn't a lot of time left before I'm suppose to move and it sort of freaking me out. Because I have ever lived on my own before and I'm kind of scared I'm going to mess it all up, so yeah...Second thing is, my computer just sort of died. One morning when I was going to turn it one, nothing happened. Everything was just black. I'm going to be honest, I cried a bit guys. Because I had everything saved on that computer. All my stories, photos and all my drawings. And nothing I did made it turn on. But I called my brother and he at least managed to save everything on the hard drive and I have left my computer for repairs, but it might be two weeks until I know if it can even be saved. Which I really hope it can be, for it's just a little over a year old and I spent a lot of money on it and with me moving, I don't really have the money to replace it at the moment.
Here's for hoping, guys.
But in the meantime I am using my old laptop, that is literally being held together with duct tape and it's kind of hard to work with, so I can't promise that the next chapters will come easy. I hope you all understand.Third, I have been sick a lot lately. Not long ago, I spent two weeks being so sick I thought I was going to pass out as soon as I stood up. I spent the first week in bed, but was the forced to go back to work, because hey, I need money.
Now I have a inflammation in my ear, which I suspect is the result from not letting my body heal, and I'm currently on some heavy medication that eaves my head all foggy.So there you have it, the reasons why I haven't been active these past weeks. I'm really sorry for that, guys. I still hope you will enjoy reading this.
You are all amazing.The titel of this chapter is inspired by Dark Piano - Pain
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
As soon as they are high enough in the air, Jack sets the coordinates and switches on the auto-pilot. He rises from his seat and walks out into the hub, looking over at his husband before he refocuses on the wall in front of him. He presses a couple of buttons on a small panel to his right and kneels to grab a large box in one of the walls compartments as a table folds out from within the wall.
He places the box on top of the table and opens it, before he turns back to his husband.
Gabriel still sits where he had from when they had entered the ship, arms still wrapped tightly around the small boy. The Blackwatch Commander looks so lost Jack’s heart aches and the Strike Commander fears it will remain so until Jesse is safe and well.
“Bring him here, Gabriel.” Jack keeps his voice low and soft. “I will do what I can for him.”
At first, he doesn’t think his husband hears him but then, Gabriel slowly unclasps the seatbelt and rises. He moves carefully, as if afraid that if he moves to quickly would disturb the still unconscious teenager. Jesse shows no indications to having noticed anything that is going on around him and shows no signs of waking up any time soon.
Jack prays the unwanted sleep at least is kind.
Gabriel stops a few feet away from the table and Jack blinks at his husband’s hesitation. He looks down at the table to what might have caused the Blackwatch Commander to stop but finds nothing. The table is clean and sturdy, both things Gabriel knows.
“Gabe?”
The other man stares at the table with a haunted look, before he glances down at the teenager in his arms and takes a step back.
“We can’t put him on that.”
Jack blinks, confused. He stares at his husband for a moment, before he takes another glance at the table and back to the other man again.
“It won’t break under his weight, you know this. They are able to hold a far greater deal of weight than-”
“No.” Gabriel shakes his head and continues before Jack can voice his confusion. “You saw what was in that cave. If we put him on that table and he wakes up, he...”
Understanding slams into Jack like a bullet.
He hadn’t even spared a thought of Jesse having during some point of his life been strapped down on one of the tables in that Hellhole.
Foolish of him, considering the boy’s reaction to that place.
Unable to utter a word, Jack lifts the medical kit off the table before he forces it back into the wall. He puts the kit down before he walks to the end of the ship and opens a much larger storage compartments than the first, rummaging through it until he finds what he’s looking for.
Gabriel watches as his husband drags out a mattress large enough to suit a grown man and almost laughs, because of course the Strike Commander’s private jet comes equipped with a fucking mattress.
Jack drags it to the middle of the room, before he rushes back to fetch several blankets, two of them even heated. He kneels down and arranges everything, before he looks up at his husband.
“I’m afraid there are no pillows.”
This time, Gabriel actually laughs. It’s weak and more of a gust of air, but everything feels a little less heavy after.
Jack smiles softly and drags the medical kit closer as Gabriel carefully places Jesse down on the mattress. He replaces the worn coat with one of the heated blanks and turns it on, warm enough to provided comfort but low enough to not burn. Jack hands him a damp rag and Gabriel manages a small smile as thanks.
Jack begins to wipe the teenager’s hands, while Gabriel focuses on his face. He carefully pulls the brown hair to the side and finds himself struggling to breathe.
Jesse almost looks dead.
His skin is almost as pale as snow, freckles standing out painfully. The bridge of his nose is swollen and miscoloured, but the Blackwatch commander is thankful to find that the teenager’s nose is at least not broken.
More than half his face, is covered in blood.
The wounds have stopped bleeding and the crimson liquid has hardened and started to crust, but it still clings to the pale skin like glue. It’s such a sharp colour against the pallor of the skin.
Gabriel forces himself to take a deep breath, before he gently starts to scrub the blood away. He starts with Jesse’s eye, wiping away the dried blood with careful movements until none of it remains. He cleans the wounds and seals them with a couple of butterfly stitches, well aware he would never be able to hold a needle steady with the ways his hands shake.
He brushes his fingers through Jesse’s hair until it comes to rest naturally, framing around the young face.
He looks away when he hears Jack finish with the teenager’s hands, carefully placing them down on the mattress. Each finger has been cleaned, reviling the damaged. Each nail is more broken and ripped than before, the palm of the left hand bandaged with care. Thankfully, none of the fingers seems broken.
Both men look at each other, their gazes torn and heavy. None of them speaks as there are no needs for words between them. Jack grabs a new roll of bandages as Gabriel carefully leans the teenager’s head back to expose his throat.
The skin where the snare had dug in is red and swollen, but signs of discolouring can already be seen. There are small scratches from where Jesse had tried to rip the wire away, but they have already dried and crusted. If there is something they can consider as luck, it is that at least the snare didn’t have enough time to cut into the flesh.
Gabriel cleans what he can with the rag, before he leans away to allow Jack to spread a cooling cream over the injury. The Blackwatch Commander then carefully lifts Jesse’s shoulders and head from the mattress, Jack winding the bandage loosely around the teenager’s neck. Jack then rolls up one of the blankets into a makeshift pillow and Gabriel places the boy back down onto the mattress.
Jesse doesn’t wake during any of it.
It worries Gabriel.
For the few days he has known Jesse, they boy has always reacted to the smallest sound and the smallest movement, even when asleep. He had seen the teenager leap out of bed their first morning, when he had tried to get up without waking the boy. He had seen how Jesse’s head would snap in the direction of any sudden noises, so fast Gabriel had almost missed it.
Now, there is none of that.
There are no movements from Jesse, other than his chest rising unsteadily due to what Gabriel suspects is a bruised windpipe.
Gabriel prays he will wake soon.
He is distantly aware that Jack packs up the kit and puts it away. A blanket is draped over his shoulders before the comforting weight of his husbands comes to rest against him as Jack sits down beside him. They sit in silence for a moment, before Jack huffs out a breath Gabriel knows has no ill intent in it.
“You know,” The Strike Commander murmurs. “This isn’t what I had in mind when we talked about starting a family.”
Gabriel manages a slight amused scoff and drapes his arm over his husband’s shoulder, arranging the blanket until it rests over both of them.
“Yeah, I know. You wanted to do it the old fashioned way, with long waiting periods, cranky old ladies and a mountain of paperwork that would have driven you mad.”
Jack laughs, this time a little lighter and a little bit easier. He leans his arms on top of his folded knees and buffs his head against his husband’s chest.
“You’re saying your way was easier?”
Gabriel smiles and places a kiss on the other man’s forehead, before he glances down at the teenager.
“No, but it was worth it.”
Jack sobers and his smile turns a little strained. He rest his head against Gabriel’s shoulder and looks down at the still unconscious boy, the heavy feeling in his chest making itself reminded. He doesn’t say anything for a long moment, but the question keeps forcing itself closer to the surface until he can’t keep it under any longer.
He takes a deep breath and looks up at the other man, swallowing before he speaks.
“Gabe?”
“Hmm?”
“How did you...” Jack hesitates, before he pushes forward. “How did you know he was yours? Ours? How could you have been so sure?”
Gabriel doesn’t answer straight away but when he does, he does it with a smile.
“I wasn’t sure at first, not really. Took me a few minutes actually, to figure it out.” He looks down at Jack and his smile turns a little softer. “After that, I just knew.”
Jack blinks and sits up a little straighter.
“A few minutes? Really?” He frowns. “You had only just met him.”
Gabriel scoffs, but it’s warm and gentle.
“Doesn’t matter.” He leans closer until their foreheads rest against each other. “I knew I loved you two minutes after we first met.”
Despite everything, Jack blushes. He flushes brightly, the red spreading down his neck and over his cheeks until it stops at the tip of his ears. He rolls his eyes but laughs, soft and quiet. He angles himself forward and places a small kiss on the tip of his husband’s nose.
“You really are an old sap, aren’t you?”
Gabriel wrinkles his nose.
“I’m not old.”
Jack smirks.
“Keep telling yourself that, old man.”
Gabriel frowns with no real heat and pouts.
“I’m not even forty, Jackie.”
Jack, mature as he is, sticks his tongue out and then proceeds to squeal as Gabriel lunges forward and captures him in his arms. They tumble to the floor, blanket flying before it lands on top of Jack. When Gabriel pulls them back up into a sitting position, the blanket drapes across the Strike Commander like a hood, the edge resting against the bridge of his nose.
Gabriel laughs and lifts the fabric, placing a quick kiss on his husband’s lips.
He laughs again as Jack grins like an idiot.
They fall silent after that, comfortable as they settle back down beside the mattress. After a moment, Jack notices how his husband yawns so wide his jaw cracks and the way his eyelids dip lower and lower. He guides the other man to the floor until he is lying down, head resting on top of Jack folded legs.
He blinks, confused and sluggish, and Jack smiles as he strokes his knuckles against his husband’s cheek, smiling as Gabriel’s eyelids drop even lower.
“Jackie?”
“Go to sleep, Gabe. It will be hours before we are even close to home.” He leans down and places a kiss on Gabriel’s forehead, the other man still reluctant to drift off. “You’re both safe now.”
It does the trick and Gabriel allows his eyes to close, his breathing evening out after less than a minute. Jack pulls the blanket from his shoulders and drapes it over his sleeping husband instead, tucking it around him before he goes back to rubbing his knuckles across the darker skin.
He looks over at Jesse and feels his smile falter.
The teenager has yet to move an inch and it worries him. He is calmed by the rising and falling of the boy’s chest, but it isn’t by much. He is certain that Jesse will recover, given time and the right treatment, but he can’t but worry about what the future will hold for them.
All three of them.
He had yet to voice it to Gabriel, but he fears their coming days won’t be easy.
He knows they won’t.
Should the word spread that Jesse had been part of Deadlock, forced or not, Jack can’t predict the outcome, but he knows it won’t be a good one and he fears he won’t be able to keep the worst from happening.
He only has so much power.
He could fight with everything he got, all his power and resources, but if the higher ups deem Jesse a threat to the organisation or to the world, he isn’t sure what he can do to keep the boy safe.
He knows Gabriel has already taken steps to assure Jesse’s safety, he wouldn’t have agreed to return home otherwise, but he isn’t sure how much it will do in the long run of things. The Blackwatch Team had already been unease upon return and that never stayed a secret for long amongst a base full of spies and soldiers.
Jack hopes Gabriel’s men’s loyalty stretches far enough for this.
He sits in silence for several hours, nothing but two sleeping bodies and the sound of the engines keeping him company. He doesn’t mind it, the calm allowing him the time he needs to collect both his thoughts and feelings.
It isn’t until the early morning hours his attention is caught by a small sound coming to his left. He turns his head and his breath still in his throat as he sees Jesse’s eyelids flickering, the teenager’s head turning slightly back and forth as he slowly regains consciousness. It takes a moment, but the boy’s eyes finally opens halfway and Jack can see the confusion in those orbs from where he sits.
He realizes his mistake too late as he leans forward and places a hand on the teenager’s shoulder.
Jesse’s eyes widens instantly with undoubting terror and a small hand wraps around Jack’s wrist so hard he swear his bones scrape against each other. He has only time to shout out as he is pulled forward and the other small hand is pressed against his shoulder, before he is thrown across the room.
He hits the wall hard and falls into a heap.
Gabriel is awoken abruptly by his husband’s legs being ripped away from beneath his head and he manages to turn to his side just in time to see Jack being thrown into the jet’s wall.
He sits up quickly and scans the area for danger, when his eyes lands on Jesse.
A very awake Jesse.
The boy is sitting up, his whole body tilted slightly to the side, but is hunched over as if he is in pain. One of his arms is still stretched out from the throw, but it’s shaking badly and Gabriel can see blood already dripping from the nails. His hair hangs across his face, obscuring it from sight, but Gabriel knows that beneath those locks of brown, there is unmistakable terror.
The Blackwatch Commander looks across the room and meets the gaze of his husband, swallowing as he sees fear in those blue orbs.
Gabriel pushes himself to his knees and scoots a little closer to Jesse, keeping his hands open and where they can be seen. Eyes that flash of gold suddenly focus on the Blackwatch Commander, but this time there is no guttural growl to accomplice it, for which Gabriel is grateful.
This time Jesse has awoken with more fear than will to fight.
And Gabriel can tell, just by the looking at the teenager. Jesse’s body trembles with exhaustion and a third of his face is miscoloured and swollen, eyes glazed with fever and unfocused. The boy’s breathing is weak and too forced, no doubt painful through his bruised windpipe.
Beaten and exhausted, and Jesse is still trying to protect himself.
Gabriel slowly shuffles a little closer, hand still held up in what he hopes Jesse finds nonthreatening. The teenager stares at him for a long moment and behind him, Gabriel can see Jack slowly pushing himself up on his arms. The Blackwatch Commander tries to stop his husband, but the chance slips from his fingers before he can grasp it.
Jack’s boot scrapes against the floor and Jesse spins around to face the man with a hiss that chills them to the bone.
Gabriel are unable to see Jesse’s face, but from Jack’s expression and as the sound of cracking bones fills the jet, the Blackwatch Commander knows what his husband sees.
Jesse is losing control.
The teenager tries to push himself forward with a snarl that must tear at his abused throat but his arms gives out beneath him before he can get anywhere, too weak to bear his weight for any longer. He sprawls forward and falls of the mattress, a whine replacing the snarl as his abused body hits the cold metal.
But he immediately tries to push himself back up.
He manages to get his arms under himself, fingers digging into his palms so hard that they bleed. His feet scrape against the floor, but find no grip and he lets out another heartbreaking whine as his whole body shakes with exhaustion. He coughs violently, specks of red hitting the floor and he folds in on himself, struggling to breathe.
Gabriel slowly scuffles forward on his knees, making sure to make enough noise for the teenager to hear him, but Jesse shows no reaction. He manages to get onto the mattress, before he sees Jesse suddenly twitch and he spots a movement beyond the teenager.
He looks up to see his husband having pushed himself up on his knees. Before he can call out for him, Jack surges forward.
Gabriel falls back as a clawed hand swipes at his throat, no doubt the hand having hit its mark had Jack not been quick enough to stop Jesse.
The blonde wraps his arms around a weakly struggling Jesse and Gabriel worries for a second that his husband will hurt the boy. But that fear dissipates quickly as Jack gathers the teenager into his arms, firm but gentle. He traps the boy’s arms between them and presses carefully against the back of Jesse’s head until it rest against his chest, fingers combing thought the brown hair.
Gabriel stays quiet as Jack begins humming an old lullaby from his own childhood, words long forgotten but the melody as clear as the first time he heard it.
He watches as Jesse’s struggling slowly eases, until it stops entirely and he lets himself go limp in the man’s arms.
He sees as torn fingers mend themselves, skin slowly stitching itself together.
Jack slowly shuffles backwards until he can lean his back against the wall, never losing the melody of the lullaby and never letting the teenager go. He rocks the two of them back and forth slowly, fingers massaging the back of Jesse’s head.
Both men sigh in relief when Jesse draws a breath, steadier than before, and sinks into Jack’s arms. The stiffness in the boy’s body lessens and the trembling stops, now brown eyes slipping close as exhaustion claims Jesse once more.
Jack leans down and presses a kiss on the teenager’s forehead and Gabriel lets out a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding, the sudden burning on his lungs a painful reminder. He forces himself to relax and rubs the base of his neck, grimacing as he feels the knot beneath the skin.
“Gabe?”
The Blackwatch Commander hesitates, the dread he has felt over the past days making itself reminded as he hears the shakiness in his husband's voice. His hand tightens around his own neck but he forces himself to look up, barley holding back a flinch as he meets wide blue eyes.
Jack looks frightened and overwhelmed, a fine tremor in his shoulders.
Gabriel fears for a moment, despite what his husband has said up to this moment, that his reaction will mirror that of Noir and Delgado.
That Jack will see Jesse as a monster, and not the child he actually is.
"Jack, I-"
"Gabriel." The other man's voice cracks. "What-what have they done to him?"
It's not the question Gabriel expected, but he feels small glimmer of hope grow within him. There is no disgust or judgment in Jack's expression that Gabriel thought he would find once his husband saw the darker side of Jesse.
A side Gabriel still doesn't know where it ends, but he believes they have yet to only see the surface.
A part of him fears what lies beneath it all.
But that doesn't change what he feels for Jesse and he hopes it won't change Jack's feelings either.
"He..." Gabriel swallows.
"What have they done to him?" There's a desperation in Jack's voice, loud and painful.
Gabriel can't bear to look at his husband for any longer and lowers his gaze to the floor. He breathes deeply through his nose and shakes his head, before he sighs deeply. His shoulders slump in defeat and he dares to glance up at the other man.
"...Deadlock...they...the cave..." he whispers brokenly.
He hears how Jack stops breathing. He looks up and finds that the worry in his heart eases a little bit.
Because while the Strike Commander looks revolted, his arms also tightens protectively around the teenager. He draws him closer and cups the back of Jesse's head so it rests more firmly against his chest.
"...you mean..." Jack's voice shakes. "...he was..."
Gabriel bites his lower lip.
"I...I can't say for sure...but...but I haven't found another explanation..." He sighs deeply. "I pray that there is."
Jack finds it difficult to swallow past the hard lump that has suddenly formed in his throat. He looks down at the boy in his arms, the teenager still asleep and seems to finally be resting peacefully. Carefully, as to not disturb him, Jack reaches up and gently brushes away a small trail of red from the corner of Jesse's mouth.
Frowning deeply, he brushes his thumb against the boy's cheek before he places another kiss on the teenager's forehead.
He looks up at his husband and Gabriel feels a spark of pride at the determination in those blue eyes.
"I don't care!" The Strike Commander bites out. "I don't care what they turned him into! He's my son, our son!"
Jack bares his teeth in what many would thought would be anger, but Gabriel sees the protectiveness beneath it.
Jack doesn't care about his previous fears, not anymore. They don't matter.
"And those bastards will never get him back!"
Gabriel knows then, that they will be alright.
Notes:
I can't say when the next chapter will be out, but I hope you are all still here when I do.
I love you!!
Hugs to y'all!!
Chapter 18: Torches
Notes:
Well, would you look at that, not an eternity since I last posted. Aren't I hardworking.
But seriously guys, thank you so much for all the support and for how understanding you all are. You are all so frickin' kind it makes my heart melt.And good news, I finally got my computer back!....after four fucking weeks despite the fact that they said it would take two.
I'm not going to lie, while I'm thrilled to have it back, I'm a bit frustrated how they handle it. Yes, the wait was long but it wouldn't have been so bad if they had just told me that it would be delayed. Instead, I had to go around and worry.
And because they didn't keep me updated, I had to ask which does not help my stupid social anxiety. I swear, I just hate my anxiety sometimes. I had pumped myself up and everything to go complain and what happens as soon as I'm in front of the help desk, suddenly unable to form words. And when they told my, very unapologetic, that it would at least be another week, I just nodded and left with my tail behind my legs. Uuuuuugggggghhhhhh, why?But anyway, hopefully I will be able to post a little more regulary from now on. Can't promise anything, with the big move coming up and all, but I will try.
Love you all!
The titel of this chapter is inspired by Daughtry - Torches
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jesse wakes slowly, pain throbbing across his body but lighter than he is used to. The worst comes from his throat, making breathing sting and swallow pure agony.
The snare has always been the worst punishment.
The rest of his body tingles with the aftermath of electricity, his fingers twitching as his muscles tightens and loosens without his consent. His shoulder burns from where he knows the rod has struck him multiply times and he knows the skin will already have been turned purple from black, his body fighting to heal him.
It leaves him feeling weak.
Jesse has always seen his accelerated healing a curse, for the faster he healed the sooner another pain would be forced upon him. He is so tired of being healed only to be hurt again.
But this time, he slowly realize, something is different.
Where he expects to find a biting cold and a hard floor, he finds a comfortable warmth and something wrapped around him that is firm but soft at the same time.
It confuses him, this isn't the cell he is used to.
This isn't the place Deadlock forces him into every time he needs to learn.
Deciding that not knowing scares him more, he slowly forces his eyes open. It takes a couple of tries, the guck that his tears always leave behind gluing his eyes together. When he is finally able to peel them open, everything is blurry and trying to focus makes his head ache. He tries to ease the pain by breathing through his nose, his throat throbbing while his mouth feels raw.
This only confuses him even more. Deadlock never allows his to shift while punishing him.
The blurring eventually eases and when he is finally able to focus, he isn't sure what he is looking at.
He is resting in someone arms, a blanket wrapped around him and his head pillowed against a broad chest. He can feel a hand resting against the back of his head, holding him against the chest in a grip that is loose and warm. Frowning, he can hear a steady heartbeat through his right ear, his head raising and falling in rhythm with the chest as the person who is holding him breathes.
Slowly raising his gaze, he glances at the person through his bangs.
It's a man, with blonde hair and skin with a lightness Jesse has known for a long time to exist but rarely sees. There is a light stubble beginning to grown on his strong chin and his hair is rumbled like he has drawn his hand through it over and over. His head is resting against a metal wall, his neck at an angle Jesse never doubts will be painful once he wakes up, but the man still seems to be resting peacefully.
Jesse blinks and lets his gaze wander, to find another man resting beside the first. He only then realizes that his legs rest against this man's thighs, arms resting along his own calves and one hand gently gripping his knee.
This man's skin is darker, darker than his own and while Jesse can't see his hair for the black hat he is wearing, his beard speaks of an even darker brown. It looks dishevelled and a small string of drool from the man's open mouth is slowly making its way into the thick strands of hair. There are bags beginning to settle beneath the man's eyes, calling attention to an exhaustion Jesse is all too familiar with.
He doesn't know these men, but it doesn't scare him the way he thought it would.
He doesn't feel frighten.
He feels...safe.
He frowns, because it isn't a feeling he is familiar with.
The teenager stares at the two men for a very long moment, until the aching of his head becomes too much and he shuts his eyes in a desperate attempt to starve it off.
It feels like he is forgetting something.
As the ache becomes too intense, Jesse is suddenly struck with the need to move. His body screams at him to move the way it always does when his mind becomes too much and despite the pain that follows, he slowly distracts himself from the arms holding him. He moves slowly, afraid of waking the two men, but exhausting has wrapped around them tightly and after a few minutes that feels like hours, Jesse manages to stagger to his feet.
His legs tremble under his weight, but Jesse grits his teeth and pushes through the pain. It is something he is used to anyway.
The blanket rests around his shoulders, heavy and grounding, and he unconsciously tightens his grip of it. He looks down at himself, because something feels very different, and realizes he's wearing clothes that aren’t his. The pants aren't worn nor ripped, rather they look new and feel a little stiff.
He has never worn new clothes before.
Then there is the hoodie.
The fabric is black, but soft in the way only careful wear can accomplish. It drapes over him like a second blanket, chasing away the cold Jesse thought had settled too deep into his bones to ever leave. In a way, it reminds him of a jacket he had when he was around eight, giving to him by a member, an elder woman, who had taken pity on him, before it was ripped away from him the very same day the woman was gunned down.
The only difference between the two is that the hoodie chases away the fear, while the jacket had felt like a broken shield against it.
Looking around, Jesse is struck with the realization that he has no idea where he is. He is surrounded by walls of metal, but not the ones he is used to. These are painted in a soft blue with streaks of soft yellow and warm grey. There is a row of seats that runs the length of one wall, while another has screen that are dimmed covering it. At the back, there is a solid wall that leans at an angle that looks like it opens outwards.
Slowly turning around, he feels his breath leaves his lungs.
In front of him is one large window that curves, covering almost the entire length of the wall on which it sits upon. There are two seats in front of the window, with a board in front of them, but Jesse doesn't see any of that.
All he sees is the sun rising among the clouds, bathing his body in its soft glow.
He takes a step forward on still trembling legs, eyes wide despite the sting the light brings with it, but he can't bring himself to look away.
It has been so long since he got to see the sun rise.
It bathes the sky in a mix of red and yellow, soft clouds shifting to a mild pink at the end of the sun's rays. It's so strong it almost chases away all the blue from the sky, stars disappearing to make place from a single one.
His last real sunrise, with colours and warmth, had been two years go.
He can see the tip of mountains peeking up through the clouds in the distance, mountains he has never seen before. Their tip is coated in something white Jesse can't put a name to, but it reminds him of the pure white clouds he could steal a glance at those few times he was ever let outside.
It was one of few memories that have kept him from giving up.
To see the sunrise once more, was enough of a reason to keep fighting.
He slowly sinks to his knees and closes his eyes, drawing in a breath until his chest feels like it's about to burst. The sun warms his skin and helps to lift the ache that has long since settled in his joints, leaving him feeling more at ease than he can ever recall.
It's a feeling he never wants to lose again.
But he wonders, slowly opening his eyes, now that he got to see it again, what does he has worth fighting for.
His body sags with the realization, a hollow feeling settling deep in his chest that chases the warm feeling he had sought so long for.
It just leaves him feeling tired.
The drop of water that hits the floor startles him almost to the point where he flinches and his chest suddenly feels like it is about to burst, as a sob manages to escape his lips. He covers his mouth with shaking hands, muffling the sobs that follow the first. The tears burn against his skin as his body feels like it has been drenched in ice cold water.
He doesn't want to fight anymore.
He is just so tired.
A soft snore almost causes Jesse to cry out, but he bites his tongue hard enough to taste blood and keeps it in. He turns quickly, his entire body throbbing with pain, and he stares at the two men leaning against the wall, both still asleep.
Jesse had almost forgotten they were even there.
He stares at them for a while longer, tilting his head as his tears slows to a stop. Breathing gets a little easier the longer he stares, the hollow feeling being chased away by something softer, something warmer.
He still feels like there is something he is forgetting.
The ache in his head starts to come back, but he stops trying to force memories he can't be sure even exists resurface before the pain becomes too much. Slowly, his body heavy with a new sort of exhaustion, he pushes himself to his feet and steps forward until he is standing in front of the two men.
He sinks back to his knees, too tired to even try to stay on his feet. He knows he shouldn’t but he can’t force himself to look away from the two men, the pain spreading from the front of his head to the back the longer he stares. It’s almost unbearable, but he knows it means something.
Something he needs to remember.
It frustrates him. The men before him are clearly not part of Deadlock, they smell too different to be part of the only life Jesse has ever known, nor do the smell like any other human he has ever come in contact with.
They smell kind and friendly, warm.
They smell safe.
Frustrated, the boy raises his hand to rub at his abused throat, only for his fingers to come across something other than then the torn and swollen fresh he was expecting. There is some sort of cloth wrapped around his throat, soft to the touch, and much kinder than any metal he is so used to.
It is then he notices that his left hand has been similar cared for, wrapped in a pristine white cloth that hides the wound he can feel sting. He blinks down at his hand for several seconds, before he goes back to staring at the two men.
No one had ever cared about his wounds before.
The pain in his head has reached the point to where it feels like his head is about to split in half and he closes his eyes, but it does nothing to ease the pain. He curls in on himself, raising his right hand to claw at the back of his head as he pain becomes too much. He tries to fight it, but it is a losing battle and finally, he lets go.
The memories of the past few days rushes back at him all at once, leaving him no time to brace.
It hits him harder than any bullet ever has.
It all flashes behind his closed eyes and suddenly he remembers everything.
The force of it all almost sends him to the floor.
With shaking arms holding him up, he manages to stay seated but only just. He can sweat dripping from his forehead, a few drops running down the bridge of his nose and sneaking beneath his eyelid, leaving behind a small sting before fresh tears forces them away.
Almost gasping, he opens his eyes and looks at the two men.
They had come for him.
He knows Gabriel promised him he would, but no one has ever kept such a promise to him before. There have been many promises, but never one that was meant for his wellbeing. There has only been promised about pain and suffering, about what would happen to him if he didn’t follow orders.
There had never been a promise for him to feel safe.
They had come for him.
Jesse hadn’t actually dared to believe it to be true.
When the two members of Deadlock had showed up, he had thought he would be left behind to the life he has always known. He had thought that Gabriel would have seen it as his chance to walk away and not having to care anymore. He had thought Jack would have done the same, relieved to see that the teenager was no longer a problem he had to deal with.
But none of that had happened.
They had taken him away from that hellish place and cared for him, had wrapped his wounds and held him while he slept.
They had saved him.
He has never been saved before.
Jesse feels so many emotions in that moment, that he feels nothing. He feels numb, but not in the cold lonely way he is so used to. This is a different kind of numbness that he can’t put a name to, but he finds that he doesn’t really mind. It feels like something has been draped over him, something warm and kind.
He just sits there for a long moment, before he turns his head to look out of the window in the front of the ship. The sun has risen a little higher on the morning sky, bathing everything in its warm shine. Jesse can see that they are getting closer to the range of mountains, the white on top glistening in the rays of the sun.
It is beautiful.
He turns back to the still sleeping men and after a long moment of not moving, he slowly crawls forward on trembling limbs. Careful, as to not wake them, he crawls back into Jacks lap and slowly settles down. He drapes his legs back over Gabriel’s, pulling the blanket a little tighter around himself as he leans his head against Jack’s chest.
He freezes when the two men shifts, but lets out a relieved puff of air when neither wakes. He stiffens when Jack’s arms suddenly wraps around him, pulling him closer at the same time he feels Gabriel grab hold of his legs like before. Gabriel tilts slightly to the side until he rests against Jack’s side, his head pillowed by the other man’s shoulder.
Jesse slowly lets the tension ebb away from his body and he raises his hand slowly, trembling fingers closing around the front of Jack’s shirt. His eyes are suddenly fighting to stay open and being too tried to try, he lets them slip close. He lets himself melt from the comforting heat now surrounding him, chasing away the ache his body still feels.
He doesn’t know what lies ahead of him, what will happen next but for the first time in his life, he isn’t terrified to find out. He is still scared, but he isn’t alone anymore. He doesn’t have face those fears by himself.
The teenager curls up slightly and basks in everything the presence of the two men holding him brings, a soft smile on his lips as he slowly lets himself sink into a peaceful slumber with a new but comfortable knowledge that warms him from the inside.
He has found something new to fight for.
Notes:
And also guys, I GOT FANART!! ME!!!!
From the very kind and wonderful Happyritas
You can all se it here; https://www.wattpad.com/615750932-book-o%27-art-wolves-amoung-heroes
I'M SO HAPPY!!!I love you all!! Until next time!
Hugs to y'all!!
Chapter 19: From This Moment On
Notes:
I really don't know what to say other than sorry, guys.
I didn't mean to be gone for so long but life has been hard.Most of it has been because of my dog. I bought her two years ago from an neglitic owner and I was the happiest I had been in years. (Her name is Zelda).
But a month later I found she had an aggressive cancer lump in one of her nipple and was adviced to remove all of them, so that was a three month struggle with several visits to the vet for pulled stitches and wonds that almost became infected beause of the size of the area.
Then when she finally began to be back to normal, she started limping. Took her to the vet again and found that she has arthritis in her elbow. (She's hadn't even turned three at that time).
This time the solution was at least easier. She has to get a shot every third month and east some supplents with her food everyday. After that she was fie for a while.
Then one day, about five months ago, she couldn't get up on the couch without screaming in pain. She didn't want to move and she is otherwise a very active dog. So off to the vet and is told her last vertebra in her spine is slightly enlarged and inflamed, which has a risk of needing surgery in the future.
She's fine now, happy with no pain.
The time I hasn't spent with her has been spent working my ass of, because while I have a insurance on her, the former owner didn't and (in my country at least) the insurace won't help if she hasn't been insurced since she was three months old. So all these operations and everything else, I have had to pay out of my own pocket. This is nothing I'm complaining about, I can make more money, I can't make a new Zelda.She really is everything. She has helped me in so many ways, with my depression and anxiety, with my will to keep going.
And if anyone is worried she's in pain and I should just put her down, I promise you she's not in pain. She happy and comfortable, living the best life I can give her.
I have told anyone who asks if it's all worth it, the time and money, the answer will always be yes.
As long as she wants to keep going and love life, I will do everything I can to make that happen.So that's why I have been gone for so long and I'm sorry. I'm really thankful for all the support you have all showed me and this story and I promise I will do my best to finish it, it really means a lot to me.
(I won't be able to respond to everyone's comments from now on, hope you all understand)The titel of this chapter is inspiered by Shania Twain - From This Moment On
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jack wakes with a crick in his neck to a constantly annoying beeping noise that. Even with his mind muddled with sleep, he recognizes as the ship’s autopilot signalling the close proximity of the chosen base.
This means he should really wake up.
Ugh.
This was really the best and most amount of sleep he has gotten in the last couple of days and he really wasn’t in any mood for it to end. He never sleeps very well when his husband is away on a mission and with the uncertainly of this mission, he don’t think he got more than two hours of sleep when the team returned without his husband with strict orders to keep silent.
Sometimes he wonders if his husband will be the cause of him going grey young, rather than the stress from his job.
He blinks slowly until his eyes adjust to the dim lights of the ship’s interior and then yawns so wide that his jaw pops. He moves to rub his eyes, only to find himself unable to move his arm. He blinks, confused, and looks down, to find his heart doing a little jump in his chest. The corner of his mouth tugs into a soft smile.
Jesse is curled up against his chest, head resting just over his heart and arms wrapped around one of his own. Even in his sleep, Jesse’s grip is tight and unrelenting as if he lets go for a moment, the only two people that has ever cared about him will disappear.
Jack feels something in his chest twist painfully.
He lifts his free arm and draws his fingers through the boy’s brown hair, the sting in his chest easing slightly as the teenager leans into the touch and sighs contently. The Strike Commander leans down and presses his lips against the top of Jesse’s head, lingering until the sting in his chest dissipates completely.
He looks up at he once more becomes aware of the annoying beeping, now sounding at a faster rate as the distance to the base grows nearer.
This means they really need to get up.
He looks to his right and finds his husband fast asleep, drooling on his shoulder.
“Gabe.” He whispers, gently rubbing Jesse’s back as the boy stirs slightly. He wishes for the boy to sleep for as long as possible, even if it is just for a few more minutes. Call it a hunch, but he doesn’t think the teenager has gotten enough sleep in his life. “Gabe, it’s time to wake up.”
The Blackwatch Commander lets out a grunt, but doesn’t move. In fact, he snuggles deeper into his husband’s shoulder and has the audacity to start snoring.
Jack feels betrayed.
Gathering Jesse up in his arms a little firmer, he leans away from Gabriel far enough to be able to bend his knee in between them. With a smirk, he places his foot against his husband’s side and presses against it.
Gabriel falls like a sack of bricks.
The Blackwatch Commander sprawls out on the floor like a starfish, sputtering while he blinks sleep out of his eyes. His eyes focus and he glares at his husband, Jack burying his face on the top of Jesse’s head to hide his snorting.
It really doesn’t.
Gabriel pushes himself up with his arms, glare still present as he can hear the other man laughing at him, despite the Strike Commander’s best attempts to stifle them. The glare however is replaced by a soft smile as his eyes land on the boy still asleep in his husband’s arms.
Jesse is sleeping comfortably against the Strike Commander’s chest, lips parted slightly and arms hugging his husband’s arm like a child would hug its plush toy. There are far less tension in the boy’s neck and shoulders than it has been in the past several days, which is something Gabriel finds to be a huge relief.
The fact that it is in his husband’s arms the boy rests so peacefully only adds to that relief.
His brought of his musing when there is a nudge against his knee and he lifts his eyes to meet Jack’s. The Strike Commander gestures towards the controls with a nod and it is then Gabriel becomes aware of the autopilot’s signal for assistance.
“Think you can bring us down?” Jack asks softly with a smile. “I got my arms full.”
Gabriel snorts and rises to his feet, walking over to the controls and takes a look at the screen. He blinks at what the data shows him, slightly bewildered. The Headquarter is only a few minutes away which mean they have been asleep for several hours. It is midmorning and the air traffic will have started to pick up, which is probably why the base has apparently trying to make contact with them for the last two minutes.
He takes a seat, switches off the autopilot and opens a channel.
“This is Blackwatch Commander Reyes, requesting permission to land.”
“This is Matterhorn Headquarter, request granted. Please proceed to landing area 24.” There is a slight pause. “Welcome home, Commander.”
Jesse wakes slowly as his body is shaken, gently and with care he is unused to. Waking up has always been a harsh and cold experience, icy water almost always what snapped him away from the little sleep he could force himself to get.
Now, he waking up is warm and comfortable.
Safe.
It takes him a moment to remember and when he does, his body stiffens against his will. He almost starts to struggle, but instead he forces his muscles to lock up and bites his tongue hard enough to taste blood. The action makes his already abused body ache with fresh pain and he swallows back a whimper, his fingers tightening around the fabric no matter how hard he tries to stop himself.
A hand rubs soothing circles between his shoulder blades and he feels the stiffness in his body gradually disappear.
His eyes blink open slowly, until they adjust to the light. It takes him a moment but he realizes that it is brighter than before, which means he has probably been asleep for longer than he first guessed.
It is a strange thought.
He thinks he has gotten more sleep in the days since Gabriel found him than what he usually manages in a month, maybe even two. Despite the pain, he feels rested in what he thinks is the first time in his life and it makes the pain his body feels that little easier to bear.
He shakes his head slightly to chase away any stubborn drowsiness, biting back a wince as his throat stings for a second from the action. He takes a moment to go through what hurts the most and finds to his surprise, that it isn’t as bad as he thought it would be. A confrontation with Deadlock goons always left him feeling close to death, but this time it is different.
He is sore, yes, and he knows that once he brings himself to move, it will be painful. But where before he had been forced to curl up and wait for his body to heal, his healing has already begun this time. His wounds have been treated with care and kindness, and he can feel his body already mending itself together, faster than ever before.
It surprises him, how much a little kindness can do.
He blinks a few times more, his eyes finally focusing and he begins to be able to make out forms. He can make out the interior of the ship, the controls and the seats lining the wall. His eyes sting slightly from the sunlight streaming in from the ship’s windows, but it is not worse than what he has suffered before and he forces them to stay open.
He is still exhausted, but he feels like he has slept long enough.
He becomes aware of a hand still gently yet firmly rubbing between his shoulder blades, but he finds to his surprise that the motion doesn’t scare him. He is aware that he is in no danger, however long that feeling will last, and he will cling to that feeling for as long he can. He blinks once more and leans back slightly, rising his gaze.
His body stiffens against his will as blue orbs meet his own, but the kind smile helps easy the stiffness fairly quickly. His muscles relax and he holds Jack’s gaze for a moment longer, before he quickly looks away, too nervous to keep it. He feels Jack chuckle softly more than he hears it, and he manages a small smile of his own.
Jack ruffles his hair carefully and slowly, they both make it to their feet. Jesse stumbles slightly but Jack is there to stable him, and Jesse prides himself that he only winces slightly. As he predicted, his body aches and his wounds stings, but it is far less than what he has ever known before. His legs are actually able to carry him and his lungs don’t scream for air.
He looks around and spots Gabriel in front of the controls, steering the ship to what Jesse suspects is their final destination and he spares a thought to wonder where that might be. He stumbles once more as the ship touches down on the ground, but Jack is again there to help steady him, a strong arm around his shoulders while the other cradles his bandaged hand in the man’s own larger one.
He flexes his fingers and finds that the wound beneath the bandage stings slightly, but he can also feel his skin stitching itself together right at that moment. Before Gabriel and Jack, it would have taken several more hours before it would have reached this stage of healing. It shocks him, probably more than it should, but he can’t stop himself from staring down at his own hand at that moment.
“Mijo?”
Gabriel’s soft voice startles him and he quickly looks up, shrinking slightly when he finds the two men looking down at him. They are smiling at him, but Jesse can’t stop his shoulders from tensing. He can only keep his eyes up for a second before he quickly lowers them to the floor, his cheeks warm.
“Sorry...” he mutters quietly.
Gabriel chuckles and shakes his head.
“Don’t worry, Mijo.”
Jesse hates himself from still not fully trusting Gabriel’s words, but he nods and forces his shoulders to fall until them appear relaxed. It seems to fool the two men enough, as Gabriel nods once and moves towards the back of the ship. Jack stays by his side and leans down to wrap the blue coat tighter around him, bundling him up in way that is still so new to the teenager.
He stares at the man as Jack finally seems stratified and straightens, smiling softly as the teenager quickly lowers his gaze again. He places a gently hand on one small shoulder, taking no offence to the slight stiffening beneath his palm as he carefully starts to lead Jesse towards the back where Gabriel is waiting.
“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you will be warm enough. The weather here is probably different from what you’re used to.”
Jesse doesn’t know what to say, so he nods and let’s himself be lead. They stop beside Gabriel, just as the man pushes a command into the control panel. He turns his head a smile at Jesse as the doors start to open.
“Welcome to your new home, Jesse.”
The first thing that hits the teenager is a cold he has never experienced before, making his lungs burn and his throat sting. Goosebumps rise along his arms despite the hoodie and heavy jacket, a sudden gust of wind tearing at his hair and forcing a shiver from his body.
The next thing he notices is white.
Pure white.
A pure white that makes his eyes water.
The only thing he can do is stare, stare despite the tears that rises in his eyes. He has never seen something so bright, never something so pure. It covers everything, so much like the red sand he is used to but so very different. Small balls of pure white flutter in the wind, dancing in a way that just screams freedom.
Jesse breathes in for what feels like the first time in minutes, breathe stuttering from the cold, before he turns his wide gaze to the two men waiting patiently beside him.
“...what is it?”
It is Jack who answers him, voice so soft it is almost a whisper.
“It’s called snow, kiddo.”
“...snow?”
Jack nods and nudges him gently forward.
“Why don’t you take a closer look, while Gabe and I unload everything? Okay?”
Jesse blinks a couple of times, before he turns to look at Gabriel. The man nods encouragingly and the teenager swallows thickly before slowly making his way down the ramp. He stops at the end of it, just before metal stops and snow begins.
He squats down, the heavy coat throwing him off balance before be catches himself, avoiding getting a face full of this ‘snow’. He pulls the coat a little closer, thankful for its thickness as his skin feels tight from the cold.
He knows cold, but not like this. This is calmer, making him feel free in a way cold has never done before. The way the wind plays with the snow brings a soft music to his ears, wild but playful. It’s like bells tinkle, soft and clear in a way that makes his heart flutter with desire to join the dance.
He can feel how his body struggles to cope with the cold, shivers wracking his body he is surprised his teeth aren’t being knocked together. His lungs still sting, the icy wind tearing at them and making him short of breath. He is aware that his losing feeling in his nose and the tip of his ears, but he can’t really bring himself to care.
He leans down and with only a small moment of hesitation; he reaches out with one finger and lets it sink into the white powder. He almost pulls back the instant he makes contact, but stops himself. The cold stings like a thousand needles, sharp and painful, but despite that, he can’t bring himself to pull away.
He knows pain and all the different forms it can take, but this is different. He can’t describe it in a way that makes sense, but it is not a pain that scares him like the others does. It doesn’t make him feel trapped or scared. He can feels its power, knows that this cold could kill if not respected
And yet, it still doesn’t scare him.
Feeling brave, he pushes his whole hand into the snow and allows a small smile when the stinging spreads across the palm of his hand and up his wrist. He can feel the warmth of his hand being drained and he lifts his hands from the snow when the tip of his fingers start to turn blue in a way he knows is dangerous.
He watches with fascination as the snow that clings to his skin melts into clear drops of water, dripping from the tips of his fingers back into the powder beneath him, leaving little dents in the snow.
He startles as a hand lands on his shoulder and he quickly hides his hand within the coat, scared for a moment that he has done something wrong. He looks up and shrinks into himself as he finds Gabriel looking down at him with a mixture of expressions he doesn’t really understand. He stands quickly and staggers, his legs still slightly unstable, but Gabriel is quick to stable him.
“You okay, Mijo?”
Jesse quickly nods, hiding his hand deeper within the coat. He glances behind the man and sees Jack standing a few feet away, a bag slung over his shoulder. When the man sees him looking, he smiles softly but Jesse still quickly lowers his gaze to the ground, worried he has done something wrong.
“...sorry.” he whispers, suddenly scared and unsure.
Gabriel frowns but quickly hides it behind a smile he hopes is comforting, leaning down to search Jesse’s gaze with his own.
“Hey, hey...” he speaks softly. “It’s okay. You have done nothing wrong, okay?”
There is a long moment of no answer from Jesse, before the teenager slowly nods, still hesitant and unsure. He can see that Jesse doesn’t believe him, that the teenager is still so scared of doing anything wrong, he can’t even admit to being scared in the first place. It’s heartbreaking to witness, to see someone so young, so terrified of what the world has to offer him. To see him act so afraid and uncertain of the smallest kindness.
Gabriel swears he will do everything in his power to make sure that Jesse feels safe, that the teenager knows he has a chance of a happy life if he wants it. And judging by the steady presence behind him, he knows his husband will do the same.
Carefully and slowly, he wraps his arm around the teenager’s shoulders, light enough that Jesse can pull away if he really wants. He knows the kid won’t, but he wants Jesse to understand, to learn, that he has the choice if he so desire. He knows it will take time before Jesse learns this, before he can accept having a choice, but Gabriel will not stop until it happens.
He guides the teenager forward and hides a smile when Jesse registers just what is waiting in front of them. Jesse’s eyes widen almost comically and his mouth falls open in a silent gasp. Jack comes to stand beside them and lets out a quite huff of laughter at the teenager’s reaction, having seen that expression before on so many others.
The Matterhorn Base has always been an impressive sight, even if it isn’t the largest base in Overwatch’s possession, but in Jack’s opinion it’s one of the more homely. It’s built into the side of the mountain, hiding most of it from the rest of the world while still giving them a gorgeous view of the valley below. This early in the year, everything around them is covered in a thick layer of pure white snow that glittered in the morning rays of the sun, the air fresh and crisp this high up.
The valley below them stretches for miles, stopping only where a new stretch of mountains begin at the horizon. Several rivers run across the ground of the valley, a few of them leading into a lake so blue it looks like it could have painted. Beautiful hills stretch as long as the eye can see that will bloom with colourful flowers of different spices once springs chases the winter away.
Jack knows there are rumours of a new headquarters planning on being built further north, closer to the city of Zürich, but he knows it will be several years before they will be forced to move if those rumours are even true. It calms him, knowing they won’t be forced to move Jesse until they can give him a chance to get settled, until they can make him feel safe.
For a moment, Jack wonders is Jesse has ever had a home before, before he quickly pushes those thoughts away before they can settle in his chest like a heavy rock of dread.
He knows there is a time when they have to know the things Jesse has gone though, in order to better help him, but for now they need to focus on getting the teenager feeling safe with them and the new environment.
The Strike Commander has no doubts that this is all new for the child and that he will be overwhelmed, confused and frightened. The man makes a silent promise right then, that he will do everything in his power to make sure that either he or his husband will always be there for him, if they both can’t be. They are both important people with important jobs that demands a lot of their time and every time they have talked about family, it had always been a fleeting thought, pushed aside for more pressing matters.
But now, that wasn’t a possibility. They couldn’t push it aside anymore, not with Jesse coming into their lives, sudden as it was. Because Jack knows Gabriel will never send the boy away, already seeing Jesse as a son, and Jack knows he would never be able to do it either and he could never bring himself to ask his husband to send the teenager away.
Jesse has wiggled into his heart in way someone has never done before. The closest comparison he can come up with is Fareeha, loves the girl like any uncle would, but this is something different, something more special. It is a feeling he can’t quite explain but he knows it is a feeling his husband is feeling too, just by looking at the way he acts around Jesse.
Jack knows at that moment that his mind is made up.
Jesse is their boy and nothing would take him away from them.
Notes:
Thank you all for still reading.
Some amazing fanart, I really can't express how much I love it:
https://lasipaholainen. /post/182554372701/
https:// /Lasipaholainen/status/1092447703512936450
Chapter 20: Meteor Shower
Notes:
This whole 'uploading regulary' really isn't going great is it?
Sorry again guys, this chapter would have been out sooner but life just keeps pushing me down.I'm going to go on a bit of a rant, so if you're not interested just skip ahead to the story (no hard feelings,promise) but I really need to get this off my chest, because I'm scared and not really sure what to do about it.
As I mentioned in the last chapter my dog Zelda has arthritis in her elbow. Well turns out she has it in both elbows now and she needs to have surgery to remove loose bone fragments or they will continue to cause her pain and cause her to limp. So right now we're waiting for a time to have it done, as the waiting list is long for these kinds of procedures.
As I mentioned, I will do everything I can and if this is what has to be done for her to be healthy, so be it. The problem I'm facing right now is the bill for the surgery, as this is something my insurance again won't cover. Normally that wouldn't be a big problem, but the thing fight now is that I'm currently not working due to issues with my foot. With issues I mean, I can't fucking walk on it and in my line of work you spend the entire day walking around, and the doctors has yet to find the cause.
So I'm currently not bringing in enough money, which scares me. But it won't stop me from doing everything I can to make sure Zelda will be alright, I'm just worried I guess.
So there it is, sorry to rant like that but I just really needed to get it out.So there it is, the reason why this chapter wasn't out sooner.
I just want to thank all of you that is still reading and enjoying this story, it really means the world to me.
So thank you all!
The titel of this chapter is inspiered by Owl City ~ Meteor Shower
Chapter Text
Jesse stares.
The building is massive and it terrifies him. He is used to small cramped spaces that have always made him feel trapped while at the same time made him feel safe in a disturbing way. Small spaces made it easier for him to protect himself, no matter how unsuccessful he always was, and it made it easier to survey what was happening around him.
The largest space he had experienced that wasn’t outside before Gabriel, had been the Arena.
The outside scares him just as much as it fascinates him, but this large building only terrifies him. It is clean in a way that is so very alien to him, just like this new world that surrounds him. He is used to buildings covered in dirt, where the paint is flaking in long stripes and cracked foundations making the building seems like it is a gust of wind away from falling down.
And the differences don’t stop at his surroundings.
Instead of thick layer of dust scraping against his throat every time he breathes, the air is crisp and clean that makes him feel like his actually breathing for the first time in his life.
Instead of the red dirt that turned to clay those few times it had rained that always seemed to cling to him like a second skin, his body is clean and raw in a way he can’t remember it ever being. The cold stings like a thousand needles despite the heavy coat draped over him.
Instead of the smells of blood, decay and drugs, new ones he has never smelled before invades his nose so quickly and all at the same time, it makes his headache spring back alive with vigour.
All these new sensations make his body feel uncomfortable, like everything is just too much. It makes his chest feel tight like he has chains wrapped tightly around him that makes it hard to breathe. His temples throb with fresh pain and he wants nothing more than to dig his nails into himself to relieve the pressure. All of it makes it hard for his eyes to focus and the world around him blurs as tears begin to rise against his will.
It is a reaction his body has done many times before, so many that he lost count years ago, but he has yet learned how to control it.
To stop it from happening.
Deadlock would always laugh at him when it happened, mocking him from not being able to stop it from happening. They would call him things he didn’t understand for not being able to control his body’s reaction, reactions that was the results from years of their work. Reactions he had never been taught how to control,
She would only get angry.
He knows Gabriel and Jack aren’t her, that they could never be, but his lack of control still scares him. He has already lost that control several times and neither of them had gotten angry at him. Instead they had cared about him, helped him when he needed it the most.
It confuses him so much, he still isn’t sure what to think.
It is staring to become a regular feeling and he isn’t sure what to think about that either. He supposes he should try to get used to it, as he suspect it is a feeling that will not go away any time soon.
A gentle hand on his shoulder brings out of his musing and nudges him forward, which he follows on unsteady legs. He can feel them shake with exhaustion, but he forces his feet to move despite it. They move closer to the building and Jesse keeps his eyes on the massive double doors that stand before them.
Despite Gabriel and Jack flanking him on either side, a large part of him wants to turn around and run away as fast as his hurting body can manage. Large buildings with thick walls has never been kind to him and while he trust that then men who has saved him would never bring him to a place like that, a large part of him still believe this is some strange dream and he will soon wake up inside his small cell.
He presses a little closer to Gabriel and as they reach the doors, which opens automatically, he is hit by a warm gust of air as they step inside.
The first thing that strikes him is just how bright everything is. Large lights in the ceiling make his eyes sting even worse than before and the scent of strong chemicals almost makes him gag. He quickly scans the floor and walls, finding nothing that reminds him of what he is used to.
There are no smears or dirt and blood, neither old nor new. There are no cracks or dents in the walls, no signs of someone trying to escape in desperation.
It is whole and it is clean, and it is another thing he doesn’t know how to feel about.
Before them lays a large room that Jesse would describe as some sort of reception, from what little experience he has. There is a large oval desk in the middle of the room, grey and shining like the rest of the room. Behind the desk are two people, a man and a woman. They both look like nothing Jesse is used to. They are dressed in crisp blue uniforms, their hair and skin clean with no scars or other marks and he cannot smell drugs on either of them.
Jesse is starting to wonder if this is what people are supposed to look like. So far the only one with visible scars he has come across is Gabriel and he has seen what the man does for a living.
Jack steps forward towards the desk and Jesse instinctually presses closer to Gabriel, trying to hide behind the man as much as possible as both receptionists’ raises their gazes to meet the Strike Commander. Gabriel places a comforting hand on the top of his head and Jesse tries to relax, but finds it near impossible.
He stiffens as the male receptionist leans to the side to look behind the Strike Commander, focusing on the two of them. The man has bright blue hair that almost matches the uniform and a pair of dark glasses, a tattoo sleeve on his right arm that Jesse cannot distinct any details from where he is standing.
The man smiles at them and gives a small wave, but Jesse still flinches. He tries to borrow deeper into the large coat and feels a little bit better when Gabriel angels himself to shield the teenager better. He looks up to see Gabriel give the receptionist a look he cannot quite describe. Whatever it means, it seems to get across to the man at the desk, as he nods once seriously and turns back to the Strike Commander.
Jesse glances back at Jack to see the man straighten and give the woman a smile, before turning slightly to wave them over. Jesse hesitates, but follows when Gabriel gently nudges him forward.
“Come on, Mijo.” Gabriel’s voice is low, but soft. “It’s alright.”
Jesse doesn’t sense any lies from Gabriel’s words, but he can tell that the man is tense.
And he understands why.
He should not be here, no matter what Gabriel and Jack tells him. He knows Gabriel and his team were sent to take down Deadlock and he suspects he should have been taken down alongside them, no matter his involvement with the gang. Whenever or not he chose to be a part of Deadlock, he suspects had it been anyone else than Gabriel that found him, he wouldn’t be alive today.
He may not know a lot about the world, but he knows this much.
He follows Gabriel on unsteady legs, the man keeping himself between the desk and the teenager as they move forward. As they pass, Jesse dares to peak out from his hiding place and looks towards the desk. He is surprised to see the blue haired man give him another careful smile before turning back to his computer. When he looks at the woman however, he flinches and ducks back into cover.
She had done nothing more than to stare at him, but it was enough to terrify him.
He jumps slightly as Jack steps up to cover his other side just as before but relaxes slightly as he only receives a soft smile, even managing a weak one of his own. It seems to be enough to calm both men, as they move forward towards another pair of doors. These ones are made out of glass and beyond them, Jesse can see a large corridor with several doors on either side. At the end is a wide staircase, but where is goes he has no idea.
For these doors, Jack punches in a code on a panel on the wall and each sound the buttons make sounds like gunshot in his head, the air from the doors opening feeling like a hammer to his temple. The new scents from this other corridor makes his stomach turn and he finds himself swallowing to keep from being sick on the floor.
He can feel himself falling apart and he is not sure for how much longer he can hide it.
Jesse closes his eyes in a hope to hold the tears back as they step forward, his heart hammering painfully in his chest. He can feel his lungs constrict, stealing away what little air he thought he had left and his hands shake so hard he buries them in the hoodie’s front pocket in an attempt to hide it.
He can hear people walking around, all new and terrifying. Their footsteps echoes in his head so hard he worries it is going to explode and their chatter feels like knives in his ears, scraping and grinding so hard he thinks his ears are going to bleed. It is all too much and he finds it impossible to hold it back for any longer.
A large tear manages to escape his tightly shut eyes and runs down his cheek, before it drops off his chin and falls to the floor. After that, there is no stopping the rest.
He desperately hopes no one will be angry at him.
Gabriel can tell something shifts the moment they walk through the security doors. He scans the corridor for any threats, but finds none. There are a few people walking around and while he doesn’t know many of them personally, he knows they are all loyal employees to Overwatch, otherwise they would have never been able to get pass the reception.
And yet, he can tell that something is not right.
It strikes him then, that he can feel Jesse trembling.
He quickly looks down and his heart breaks when he finds that the teenager is silently crying. Jesse’s eyes are shut tightly, but large tears still run down his cheeks in small rivers. He is biting his lower lip to keep from making a sound and his entire body is trembling, curled into itself to make him appear smaller. His knees bend slightly, as if they are about to give up in holding him up and Gabriel can hear more than see him struggling to breath.
Gabriel feels horrible and quickly moves so he is kneeling in front of the teenager. He should have guessed this would happen, should have seen it before it had the chance to get to this point. Of course Jesse is overwhelmed, scared and exhausted after everything that happened, and Gabriel cannot blame him the slightest.
These last few days would have been hard on anyone, especially a child with years of trauma that has just had his whole world turned upside down.
Gabriel quickly draws Jesse into a hug and the moment his head presses against the Blackwatch Commander’s chest, his knees buckle. Gabriel grabs him more securely as he feels his husband steps in front of them, making distractions for anyone that comes their way. He gathers Jesse into his arms and stands up, lifting the teenager off the floor.
It is still disheartening how light Jesse is.
He pulls the hood over the teenager’s head and then hefts the heavy coat a little higher so it also drapes over Jesse’s head, hoping to block out most of the light and noise from the corridor. He covers the boy the best he can and guides Jesse’s head to lean against the area where his shoulder and neck meet, frowning sadly as the edge of his hoodie immediately grows damp from the teenager’s tears.
He turns and quickly strides down the corridor towards the stairs, glaring at anyone that steps too close for his liking. Seeming to sense his frustration and concern, people give him a wide berth and turn their gazes away. They all know better than to try to stop the Blackwatch Commander when he has that look in his eyes, especially with the Strike Commander keeping close to his back.
He climbs the stairs and tightens his hold on Jesse when he feels the teenager shudder, more tears slipping from his closed eyes. Gabriel can feel Jesse’s chest stutter against him, unable to bring in the air the teenager desperately needs to calm down and the Blackwatch Commander can only imagine how much his abused throat must hurt from suppressing the sobs.
Jack jogs ahead as soon as they clear the stairs, to prepare the elevator that will bring them to the personal floors and Gabriel breathes a sigh of relief when the elevator is empty. Jack pulls open a small panel and enters a code that will ensure that the elevator will bring them right to their floor without stopping, as Gabriel steps inside while rubbing Jesse’s back.
“Just a little further, Mijo. I promise.”
He doesn’t think the teenager hears him but he hugs Jesse tighter as the boy tries to curl up against him, the first sob finally breaking free. Jesse tries to swallow the ones that come after, but they are violently torn from his aching throat against his will. He buries his face in Gabriel’s shoulder, shaking hands clutching at the Blackwatch Commander’s hoodie.
The sobs sound so much louder in the confide space.
Gabriel looks up to meet Jack’s worried gaze, can see the concern and distress in his husband’s blue eyes. He can tell the other man is holding himself back, to not cause the teenager any more discomfort, all while wanting nothing more than to reach out and hug Jesse close. The Strike Commander looks at him for directions, but Gabriel can only give him a hopeless look.
He doesn’t know what to do anymore than his husband.
Jack glares at the elevator ceiling for a moment, as if he could make it move faster by sheer force of will, before he takes a deep breath and moves closer. He angles himself so he stands just behind Gabriel’s shoulder, the one that Jesse is currently trying to disappear into. He slowly raises both hands and guides them into the hood, pressing the tip of his fingers carefully against the teenager’s temples.
Jesse doesn’t even react to the contact, worrying the two men with just how gone he seems to be. Jack slowly starts to massage the boy’s temples, putting light enough pressure that the teenager can pull away at any moment, but Jesse doesn’t move. The Strike Commander keeps up the notion, apply slightly more pressure when he slowly feels Jesse beginning to relax.
Both men’s hearts break a little more when the boy whimpers.
Jesse’s body twitch without his consent and he can feel every sting, every ache, the sobs escaping his lips growing in volume despite his desperate attempts to stifle them. He presses his face harder into Gabriel’s shoulder, into Jack’s fingers that are thankfully beginning to chase the splitting headache away.
The elevator thankfully comes to a stop and Jack places a kiss on the crow of Jesse’s head, before he moves forward to pull the doors open faster. He glances around quickly and lets out a relieved breath as he finds the halls empty. He looks over his shoulder towards Gabriel and nods, both men leaving the elevator in a brisk pace.
Jack keeps slightly in front of Gabriel, making sure the path is clear and that no one is around to spot them. Gabriel had promised that it was safe to bring Jesse to the base, that he had made sure there would be nothing left to link the teenager to Deadlock, but Jack isn’t willing to take any chances before he can make sure that it is all true. He is not willing to risk Jesse’s safety.
Thankfully they reach their quarters without running into anyone else and he quickly unlocks the door, ushering in Gabriel inside and locks the door after him. He turns on the lights but keeps them dimmed, hoping it will help calm Jesse down.
Their quarters are more like an apartment. One large bedroom, a comfy living room, a kitchen with space for a small table and a couple of chairs and an office both he and Gabriel shares. It is all moderately decorated, mainly because he and Gabriel have a hard time agreeing on furniture, but it still always feel like coming home when they step through the door.
He desperately hopes Jesse will come to feel the same given time.
Gabriel moves over the couch and takes a seat, still hugging Jesse to his chest. Jack walks across the room and opens one of the windows, to air the room slightly while he hopes the fresh air will help the teenager’s breathing. Thankfully the sun will not reach the window for at least a couple of hours, so there is no need to pull the curtains.
The Strike Commander then hurries over to the couch, dragging his favourite blanket with him. It is multicoloured in a way that reminds him of the rainbow, worn from love and one of the corners is slightly frayed but Jack could never find it in himself to replace it, as it had been a gift from his late grandmother. She had made it herself and gifted it to him after he and Gabriel had announced their engagement.
He sits down beside Gabriel, waiting for his husband to take the lead. Gabriel gives him a strained smile, before he shifts slightly and carefully pulls the coat away, letting it fall to the floor.
Jesse whimpers, clutching at Gabriel as tears continue to run his cheeks, his skin pale but cheeks flushed from the strain. He hiccups as he feels his stomach turn uncomfortably, but he swallows down the need to throw up. He tries to curl up and presses his head against Gabriel’s chest, hoping the steady beat of the man’s heart will drown out the rest of the world.
He stills when he finds it, loud but comforting. He latches onto that feeling, his body relaxing slightly as everything else is droned out. Something soft and heavy is draped around him and Jesse spends a second to wonder if this is what clouds feel like as the stiffness and aches in his body just seems to melt away.
He feels what little energy he has left being drained from him, leaving him feeling more exhausted than he can ever remember feeling. A gentle hand starts to knead his neck and while the first moment had terrified him for a second, he finds himself melting into the touch as the aches slowly lessen.
The tears slow as he takes a deep breath, the scents of Gabriel and Jack drowning out all others. He can’t really name every scent that lingers on either man, so many of them so very new to him, but he can summon them all in one word.
Safe.
That is what they smell like. Safety.
He has never been able to give that name to anything before.
Surrounded by it, guarded by the two men that have become the most important people in the world to him, Jesse slowly gives into his exhaustion. He drifts away slowly, warm and comfortable, as he begs and hopes that this isn’t some sort of dream. That he will wake up and he will still be safe, that Gabriel and Jack will still be there.
If this isn’t a dream, if these past few days have actually happened, Jesse has to wonder what will come next. Everything is new and freighting, yet he finds him yearning to see what will come next as long as he gets to experience it with Gabriel and Jack by his side.
He hopes he will get to, he really does.
As he sinks deeper into oblivion, he takes a deep breath and lets himself fully relax for the first time in his life.
‘This,’ he decides, ‘is what family is supposed to feel like.’
Chapter 21: I'm right here, ain't going nowhere
Summary:
The titel of this chapter is inspiered by Alan Cooper - I gotcha
Notes:
Life's fucking hard.
Chapter Text
Jack watches as Jesse finally drifts into what he hopes is a comfortable sleep, almost too afraid to breathe in case it is too loud. He only dares to relax when the boy’s small form completely sinks into his husband’s embrace, his chest finally rising and falling in a steady pattern.
Jack tries to swallow past the heavy lump that is stuck in his throat, but it feels like a ragged rock has lodged itself into the tissue and refuses to let go.
He has to wonder for a moment, if it ever will.
Despite having been inside that horrible hideout, he couldn’t even begin to image what Jesse has gone through, what those monsters have done to that boy. The drive sits heavy in his pocket and he fears what secrets it holds. A part of him wants to throw it away and forget what he has seen, but he knows that he can’t nor would it be fair to Jesse.
In one way, the drive may hold important details that might help them take down Deadlock, once and for all. Locations, sponsors and much more might be hidden in all that data. If they can gather enough information, they might even be able to find out who is the mind behind that horror they saw in that cave.
But all that information can also help them care for Jesse. If they can find out what the boy has actually been subjected to, it might help them find ways to help Jesse heal that otherwise would have been hidden to them. Rather than finding out Jesse’s triggers by actually triggering them, they could help him overcome them before they can continue to harm him.
Mind made up, Jack promises himself to get through the drive as soon as possible.
He looks back up at the couch and smiles when he sees that his husband is close to following Jesse into the land of dreams. The Blackwatch commander’s head is beginning to lean against the top of Jesse’s, his eyes getting heavier with each slow blink. Jack wishes for nothing more than to let his husband follow the teenager into the land of sleep but he can’t, not when there is so much left to do.
Steeling himself and taking a deep breathe, he rises from the couch and sits himself down on the coffee table so he and Gabriel can talk face to face more comfortably. He places a hand on the other man’s knee and squeezes. Gabriel startles slightly, but thankfully not enough to wake Jesse.
“Wuh?”
Jack smiles at his husband’s drowsy confusion, before it slips into something more serious.
“Gabe, what is your plan?”
“Huh?”
Jack’s mouth twitches, just for a second.
“Your plan, Gabe. What’s your plan? We can’t really go around saying you adopted a kid you found in a Deadlock hideout.”
Jack can see Gabriel's brain trying to catch up, which is a true testament to just how tired he is. It is the only reason Jack can forgive the utter idiotism that follows.
“Why not?”
Jack sighs so deeply he feels it in his feet and raises an eyebrow that is loaded with both fondness and exasperation. Mostly exasperation.
“Because, Dear, not only is it a very stupid plan, it’s not exactly legal.”
Gabriel blinks slowly.
“Is anything we do `exactly´ legal?”
Any fondness Jack feels instantly evaporates and he feels his left eye do that twitching thing he has always been told happens just before his temper can explode. It doesn’t happen often, which is why, as he also have been told, people tend to run the other way when they spot that twitching.
Gabriel knows this well, which is probably why his husband instantly sinks deeper into the couch and tries to hide himself behind the sleeping teen in his arms. Jack would throttle him for that move alone, if it didn’t mean he would risk waking Jesse. Still, he can’t keep himself from leaning forward with fists clutched so tightly he swears he hears his knuckles pop.
“Gabriel!” He hisses, but quickly lowers his voice when Jesse grumbles. “That is not a plan.”
He tries hard to reel his anger in before it can do any damage. He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves and counts to ten in his head, telling himself that losing his temper will accomplish nothing. Kneading the knot that has started to form at the base of his neck, his sighs deeply once before looking back at his husband.
Gabriel is staring at the top of Jesse’s head, deep in thought. When Jack leans forward, those dark eyes snap up to focus on him again.
“Gabriel,” Jack speaks softly this time. “You promised me that you had a plan. I told you then that I would stand by your side and do everything in my power to keep Jesse safe, but for me to do that you have to tell me what you´re planning.”
Jack waits for a couple of seconds and tries to ignore the growing feeling of unease that has starting to form in the pit of his stomach when Gabriel stays silent. He leans forward and grips his husband’s knee again, firmer this time.
“Gabriel,” his voice rings with desperation. “Please, tell me you have a plan.”
The other man flinches but manages to keep from jostling the teenager in his arms too much. Jesse grumbles but settles quickly, burring deeper into the blanket until only the top of his head is visible. Gabriel makes sure the boy is fully settled before he looks up at the man in front of him. Jack calms a bit at his husband’s apologetic expression.
“I’m sorry, Jackie.” Gabriel whispers. “I know I have asked a lot of you.”
He again looks down at the boy sleeping in his arms and has to force himself not to tighten his grip. After a short time, he looks back up at his husband and continues, voice still low.
“I know this isn’t how we talked about starting a family.” He smiles softly at Jack’s amused scoff. “I have managed so far to call in a couple of favours to get Jesse’s backstory changed, to erase his ties to Deadlock. It will make him a normal kid I found on the street while I was out scouting. Everyone knows we have been thinking about adopting, so there shouldn’t be too many questions about how we found him, giving our careers.”
Jack leans back and remains silent with a thoughtful expression on his face. Gabriel watches as it turns into a frown as jack meets his gaze again.
“But he’s not normal, Gabriel.” Jack holds up a hand before he can even begin to argue. “I’m not saying there is something wrong about him but he isn’t a normal child, Gabriel. We have both seen that and we can’t pretend otherwise, that is not an option. He’s going to need help, professional help, and he won’t get that if we hide what he is and what has been done to him.”
Jack curses silently as he feels tears spring to his eyes, surprised he even has anymore to shed, but it seems that even the thought of what Jesse has gone through is enough to bring him to tears. If he thinks about it too deeply, he might actually be sick.
He sees Gabriel start to move, hand outstretched with a worried expression. Before he can move enough to accidently wake Jesse, Jack grabs his hand and squeezes it. It grounds him, makes him able to draw a deep breath and force his tears back.
“I’m okay, I promise.” He whispers, soft and vulnerable. “I want nothing more than to help him, as I know you also do, but I…I just feels so lost as to how.”
He shudders so hard he swears he feels it in his bones and grips Gabriel’s hand just a little bit harder. He feels the stress leave his shoulders slightly when Gabriel grips back just as tight, once more reminding both of them that they are in this together. It gives him the courage to continue.
“If we tell people how we found him and what has been done to him, he will be able to get the care he so desperately needs. He won’t get that if we hide everything. It will also help people understand when he reacts a certain way to things, which he will, especially in the beginning.” He looks at his husband, apologetic but frim. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. But hiding this is not the right choice.”
He sits back and lets the space between them grow silent. He knows Gabriel will need a moment to absorb everything he has said and while he knows he is right, he also knows it doesn’t make it easier to accept the reality of it.
Gabriel stews hard for a couple of moments and jack swears he can almost see the thoughts running rampant in his husband’s mind. He can also see the moment Gabriel comes to the same conclusion as he has, because his shoulder slump, not in defeat but reluctant acceptance. When the other man meets his gaze once again, Jack feels his heart ache. It has been a long time since he has seen his husband so distressed.
“But…” Gabriel’s voice is low, not scared but something close. “…they will judge him.”
Jack nods slowly, wishing it wasn’t true. Wishing that he could change things, that life would be kinder. But for all his power and influence, he can’t change this.
“They will.” He whispers. “There will be those who will judge him, those who will be cruel and…and we won’t be able to protect him from all of it.”
He scoots a little closer and grabs once of Gabriel's hands with both of his this time, squeezing until his husband meets his gaze. He smiles, small but full of love while he knows his eyes glisten with fresh tears.
“But there will also be those who will try to understand. Those who will be kind and will want to help him, to help him heal and grow. Who will want protect him when we can’t. If we can give him that, shouldn’t we?”
Gabriel stares for a moment, looking so unsure it hurts him deep in his core, until he lowers his gaze to the sleeping boy in his arms. His shoulders slump further than Jack thought possible and when he looks back up, he gives a single nod.
“Alright, we will do things your way.” He manages a small smirk. “Just don’t let it go to your head, my dear husband.”
Jack chuckles, some of the heaviness lifting.
“Don’t worry, honey. I’m much too used to being right for it to.”
He rises and leans down to press a quick kiss on Gabriel's cheek, before he adjusts the blanket so it covers both Gabriel and Jesse. He carefully runs his fingers through the boy’s hair, gently scratching at the scalp, and smiles softly when the last of the tension seems to drain from the teenager’s body.
“Try to get some sleep, okay?” He whispers. “I’m going to see what we have in the way of food.”
Gabriel nods and sinks deeper into the couch, his eyes closing and his breath deepening in the matter of seconds. Jack watches for a moment longer, before he moves to the kitchen.
The room is small but comfy, with a window that gives a beautiful view of the valley. There is currently only two chairs but Jack have been thinking about upgrading for a while now, on the account that both chairs creak worryingly whenever they sit down and the table wobbles.
He opens the fridge and looks for something easy to put together.
He finds anything but.
Since both he and Gabriel usually spend more time working or away on missions than in their own apartment, their supplies of food is severely lacking. There are a few things in the fridge, but Jack doubts any of them are safe for consumption.
The milk is at a minimum two weeks expired and the cheese is covered in so much green fluff, Jack worries it might sprout legs and run away at any second. He didn’t know ham could turn such a colour and he can’t even tell if the vaguely circular shapes in the bottom drawer were once potatoes or tomatoes.
He quickly closes the door as the smell is making him slightly nauseous and he can’t bear to throw up a second time in less than twenty-four hours.
He doesn’t even bother opening the freezer, since he already knows the only things in there are a couple of ice trays and a lonely packed of peas. Instead he moves to the cabinets, but they echo empty except for his and Gabriel’s frankly impressive collection of coffees. There is even a small spider web in one of the corners.
He closes the door again and leans his forehead against them, swearing quietly to himself as it hits him just how out of depth they truly are. If they can’t even between the two of them, two fully grown heavily decorated men, keep their kitchen stocked enough to make a fucking sandwich, how are they ever going to keep Jesse alive. A teenager can’t live on coffee and mouldy cheese.
Oh my God, they are going to give him food poisoning.
Jack takes a deep breath, counts to ten in his head and rolls his shoulders.
This is fine; it’s a mild inconvenience at most. Compared to the last couple of days and what they go through daily, an empty kitchen is a small problem to have when there is a simple solution. There is a small store on base that will have what they need, at least until they can place a larger order to be delivered to the door. All he has to do is walk there, buy what they need and come right back.
Easy.
It should be.
…at least he wouldn’t be shot at.
…he hoped.
Huffing, he straightens and reprimands himself. He’s the Strike Commander of Overwatch. He survived the SEP's genetic conditioning, he has fought countless battles and won numerous wars. A quick trip to the store is nothing compared to all that.
He turns on his heel and strides out of the room with the military grace only years of service can produce. He fetches his spare coat, as his regular one is now in a desperate need of a wash, and makes sure he has his wallet and ID. He pauses by the couch just long enough to tell Gabriel where he is going, the man giving a grunt in acknowledgement, before he leaves their apartment.
He checks the lock twice before he moves down the corridor swiftly, his coat flowing dramatically behind him.
He got this.
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