Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He thought he had everything under control. After all, despite his personal afflictions he was very good at hiding his problems. Though by the looks of where they were currently heading, that was definitely something he’d need to fix in the future.

He couldn’t blame his mother for taking this route. Izuku knew that she didn’t mean any harm, that she only loved him and wanted what was best for him in the end. Even if that meant locking him up in a mental health center until he got better, or a semblance of his proper life back. He had mixed feelings about the whole ordeal, yes he wanted to get control of himself again, but he wanted to handle it on his own terms. In his own way.

“Sweetie, I think this will help you a lot. I’m sorry I hid where we were going from you but I felt like this was the only way. You need help, help that I’m not able to give nor for you to handle on your own like you have been.” Inko choked out, wiping away at soft tears lining her eyes.

Izuku could do nothing but sigh dejectedly as they arrived in front of the center. Brows furrowed in distaste, he made no inclination of getting out of their car. Instead focusing his glazed over eyes on the window currently rolling up and down continuously by his control of the switch.

5…..6….7….8….-

“Izuku…honey. Can you do this for me, please?” That was hopefulness in her voice, and it was doing nothing but making him feel like he was drowning. Drowning in this huge abyss of inferiority and disappointment, disappointment that she didn’t mean to overshadow him with, but there it was anyways. Silence trickled on from him, not deterring away from his task at hand.

13…14…15…16…17…18….

With the final flick of his fingers, he took hold of the door handle and stepped out. He didn’t pay attention to the overflow of joy emitting from his mother nor did he give her an answer. Standing next to their beat up family car, his mother hurriedly stepped out of the car and ushered him over towards the front door. Taking small, feeble steps in the direction of his mother, his green eyes kept flittering around the parking lot as well as the building that stood before them.

The center wasn’t anything extraordinary. It looked like a simple large building, the epitome of normal plastered all across its plain looking beige walls and all but screaming mental institution at him.

Making himself look small, he stuffed his hands into his hood pocket as he followed behind his mother, eyes downcast and drowning out the small chatter he could hear from beyond the double jointed doors ahead of them once they stepped inside. He vaguely heard his mother talking to the receptionist, no doubt signing for his entrance into the facility for who knows how long.

Laughter could be heard on the other side of the doors and curiosity did get the better of him as he advanced towards the gates and looked through the small window on the side of them. His sight was limited and he couldn’t make much apart from seeing a few teenagers milling around and speaking to one another. A flash of different colours before disappearing behind doors and corridors.

“Alright sweetie, everything is signed for. I’ll go back home and get some of your things as well as clothes for you to decorate your room with. That sound’s exciting, you’ll have your very own room and everything here.” She tried making it sound excited, being uplifting but Izuku could do nothing but stare blankly at her.

“You mean like how I have a room to myself back home?” He couldn’t help but feel bitter.

He saw his mother flinch and her smile starting to crumble. Feeling a pang of something in his chest he couldn’t express, he sighed out in defeat.

“Okay…mom.” His mother exhaled out a breath of relief before inching over, enveloping her only son into a tender hug.

“I swear Izuku, you’ll feel back to your old self in no time. You’re determined and stubborn to a fault but if you’re anything else, you are strong. You can fight this. I know in my heart you’ll be able to take hold of yourself and your dreams. I believe in you honey. I love you, Izuku.” Giving him one last, long hug and kissing his forehead she was out the front doors.

He could feel her crying from even this far away, and he willed himself to just suck it up and at least try. Like his mother had said, he was strong. Even if for the most part he didn’t feel like it.

“Sharp objects as well as drugs of any kind are not permitted in the facility unless they are the ones being distributed by our pharmacist. You’ll be following a schedule that indicates all of you therapy sessions you’ll need to attend during your stay here. Once your tasks and appointments for the day are done you will have free time. A chance to roam around and socialize. Breakfast is at 8am, lunch at 1pm and then dinner at 6pm. Everyone is to be in their rooms by 10pm and light’s out are at 10:30pm.” Izuku’s eye were darting all over the place, only grabbing snippets of whatever the  orderly was currently ranting off towards him in a monotone voice.

Before he knew it, he was in front of a door that had his last name on it as well as another one on the other side of the door.

“We’ve been running out of room and it had been decided to encourage the affiliation of roommates at this time. It’s a great way to make friends.”

Monotone and uncaring, A+ for effort dude. You’ll definitely go far. Izuku scratched the back of his head as the adult just gave him a sheet of paper with different numbers and words before leaving him alone. He hopped that he wouldn’t be seeing that guy again, wondering exactly why someone who sounded like they didn’t want to be here was in a place filled with people needing help.

Shrugging his shoulders, he didn’t really care. A job was a job after all, and possibly saying the same thing over and over again to new people joining the program would become tiring after a while.

Not bothering to knock, he cautiously stepped inside of what currently seemed to be a vacant room. One side of the room was bare of anything except a simple bed with a night table while on the right side of the room he could see small trinkets and bed spread to signify that it was currently being occupied. By who, he had no clue apart from the name he had seen which read ‘Todoroki’  in brisk, flat letters.

The afternoon sun filtered its way through the window situated smack down in the middle of the room. Rounding his way towards the opening, he briefly glanced outside into the courtyard that seemed more like a giant garden. A variety of different coloured flowers as well as trees and bushes lined the whole outside. Various people were wandering around, some in groups, some alone, but all in all they all seemed content, calm in a way. Or at least to him that’s how it looked like.

Venturing over to his bed, he promptly plopped himself down onto the bare white bed spread, star fishing it out like a champ. His mind was racing, heart beating so loud it was the only sound he could clearly hear.

Izuku brought his arms up to cover his face, knocking out all the light with the cover that they offered. His hands had started to become clammy and cold, feeling his body shake every so often. He tried to calm himself down, breathing in and out as he mulled over everything that had happened. Now that he was behind closed doors he couldn’t help but feel himself falling apart at the seams.

Strong. Him. Yah, sure. Here he was having an anxiety attack because he felt alone and had no idea what to expect from this place. His mind was playing tricks on him, screaming at him how he would be stuck here forever. How his mother had left him behind because she couldn’t deal with him anymore. Nothing had hurt more than seeing his mother practically run out of the health center, even though the other part of him tried reassuring him that it was a lie. She would come back, he wouldn’t be here forever. She did love him, he knew that in his heart, but his mind was the one in control and no matter how much he told himself otherwise, nothing.

His anxiety was ruling over his common sense and there was no way of escaping. Riding it out was the only chance he had, and riding it out was what he would do.  

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

‘You’re fine, there’s nothing to worry about. Just keep breathing and everything will be ok.’ Easier said than done that’s for sure, but if it was anything to go by, he was fiercely determined.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when he finally started coming down. When his arms went to lay flat at his side and he turned his head over to the side, he saw on the alarm clock on the other side of the room that it was almost past 2pm. He clicked his tongue to himself in distaste. Around forty minutes, huh. No matter, he was starting to feel saner in mind and his body had stopped vibrating a few minutes ago. Sitting up he stretched his sore muscles before hopping off his bed. His mother would be due to be back soon with his things, he might as well go wait close by until he’s called upon.

Briskly setting himself upwards and off his new bed, he headed out his room towards the two doors that had previously let him into the place, now forever named to him as ‘the dumpster’. What other name could this place be called apart from that, he was dumped here after all. Izuku was nothing but trash and he knew that from the very beginning. He didn’t lie, he would try per his mother’s request, but that still didn’t mean he had to agree.

He was Izuku Midoriya, stubborn as a mule and just as viciously determine.

Chapter Text

Glancing around the white walls as he headed towards the locked double doors, he took notice that the walls were void of any form of art except for the few sporadic windows lining them. Blank. Boring. White walls. Izuku thought this place was supposed to help people with their problems, not make them worse.

The halls were empty save for the random orderly he saw pass him not to long ago. His mind was traveling elsewhere, not really paying attention to where he was going or what was in front of him. Though he wasn’t really interested, he was hearing fast approaching footsteps as well as laughter heading towards his general vicinity. Without blinking, he started turning his head in their direction, unfortunately a second too late.

“Ugh-”

“Ouff-“

Two bodies collided in a head-on collision, both of them falling to the ground in a heap, limbs tangled together into one big mess. Dazed and confused, Izuku was staring up at the ceiling, breathing sighs left and right, wondering what he did in his past life to deserve this.

Feeling the body on top of him start to wiggle around as well as hysterically spout out words of apologies, Izuku propped himself up on his forearm and looked down. What greeted him was the soft, round face of a very sorry looking girl, eyes closed, cherry red face framed by chestnut brown hair in a bizarre sort of short hairstyle. Not that he was one to talk after all, with his wild and unruly greenish black hair. He would surely win the contest for one of the weirdest hairdos out there, and it was all natural too, who would of thought?

He rubbed at the back of his head where it had smacked itself against the tile floor. A small bump already starting to protrude from where it had impacted. He hissed in pain.

“Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry! I didn’t see where I was going and I…Oh man…I’m so embarrassed.” The girl, still currently on top of him with their legs entangled kept gushing out her apologies. Izuku started to feel very overwhelmed, hiding his face between his arms in a weird cross sort of deal, only part of his face visible. Embarrassment creeping up his face towards his ears, beating a fierce red as he mumbled out.

“It’s…okay? Please s-stop apologizing…”

“No, it’s completely my fault. I can’t believe I did something like this!”

“Seriously…stop. It was an accident, you don’t need to sound as if you’re offering your first born to me as an apology.”

“My first born, what? I just want to tell you how so- OH MY GOSH I AM SO SORRY!”

Izuku was currently looking at anywhere but the girl still currently straddling his hip. At the yell from her tiny lungs, he squawked out in surprise at the decimal on this girl, bracing himself back on his arms when she finally realized the position they were tangled in. Without a second thought, or apology on her part, she sprang right up and flopped herself behind the friend she had ran down the hallway with. How had he not noticed the other girl standing not even a meter away from them?

The girl was still completely flustered, this time from different circumstances he imagined. Standing up on shaky legs, he wiped the back of his pants with his palm. Stuffing his hands into his sweaters pockets afterwards, he regarded the two girls with a curious look. He had already gotten a close up look from the shorter girl, her being on top of him for so long. The other girl had a peculiar look to her. She had much larger eyes than what he normally saw on girls. Long black hair all straight and neat in a long ponytail, wrapped up in a hair bow at the end. She was tall and lanky, slouched over in a way that must be terribly uncomfortable for her back.

“You must be new, we’ve never seen you here before?” The lanky girl stated, head cocking to the side as she stared at him with an uninterested glance. Izuku was starting to feel very uncomfortable underneath her unblinking gaze.

“Yah…I uh, just got here about an hour ago.” He uttered out, gazing at everywhere except for the two girls in front of him. He wasn’t good at this whole, talking to new people type deal. Call it repressed memories from his abused childhood years if you will, either way that was who he was now. Terrible with new people, and even more awful with seeming interesting. His paranoia and anxiety also didn’t help with all the bad thoughts that kept popping into his head concerning the two girls.

“Yes, that would definitely explain it. What’s your name? Mine is Asui Tsuyu, call me Tsu.” Frog girl stated, was it rude of him to call her a frog? Wasn’t rude if he never said it out loud he guessed. All to himself it is.

“And mine is Uraraka Ochaco, sorry again…” She seemed to be doing better now, the blushing had gone down considerably and she wasn’t hiding anymore. At least she was trying compared to him, cheeks still enflamed and legs twitching with nervousness, eyes flipping around like he was having a seizure.

“Um, hi. I’m Midoriya Izuku. It’s…nice to…run into you, I guess?” Scratching the back of his head sheepishly, finally settling his gaze on the two. Didn’t bode well to look everywhere else while doing introductions or talking to someone, rule number 3 his mother had ever told him when he first went off to school. Number 2 being to never stop trying even if you fall down, number 1 was not to be mean even if you were upset.

Rules he seemed to have engraved into his sub cautious and carried out effortlessly throughout the years.

“Midoriya Izuku, please make your way towards reception. I repeat, Midoriya Izuku please make your way towards reception.”

He let out a startled squeak at the sudden voice on the intercom signalling his name, while Ochaco simply giggled at his distress and Tsu grinned.

“Um…It was nice meeting you two. Guess I should be heading out now…yah.” He stated while pointing to the ceiling, laughing awkwardly. Both girls simply waved at him while he shuffled himself around them, ushering their own goodbyes and see you later next to his own.

Once he arrived at the gates to freedom, he saw his mother through the windows waving at him happily, as if she had never left for already more than an hour. He hopped from one foot to the next, waiting for the ring to signal him that the doors were unlocked. Sliding his way through, he slouched over to his mother who gave him another hug.

“Here are your things, I also packed a few comic books and your music playing gadget. Sorry for taking so long, I just did a quick wash of your sheets before coming over. The nice people already did a check of your things so you’re free to bring them over to your room now.” She stated happily, giving him the suitcase as well as a large yellow backpack that was currently strapped to her back. Handing him his pillow was the last straw to hit the stack and his eyes started tearing up.

“Oh honey…” Inko’s heart was breaking at seeing her only son crying silent tears at her. Without missing a beat, she engulfed him in one of her best mom hugs. He dropped his things to the floor, encircling his arms around his mother, gripping as if for dear life. His whole body was having tremors run through its entirety.

His mother was whispering sweet nothings, trying to calm Izuku down and come back to her. Izuku had changed a lot, there was no denying that. But she knew her Izuku was still in there, her bright, happy and hyper son, determined to always do the right thing and help those in need.

“I don’t want to be here mom. Please take me back, I’ll be better…I promise.” He sobbed out against her neck, tearing streaming down his face like waterfalls. Inko’s own eyes had also started brimming with tears, sniffling into her son’s hair all the while trying to comfort him.

“I know honey, it was a very hard decision, but Yuuei’s Mental Health Center is the best one around. I feel like they will be able to help you, I sincerely do Izuku. You can’t do it on your own, I’ve seen you try. It’s only been getting worse and worse, and I can’t bare to see you fall apart anymore. I’m so sorry Izuku. I’m doing this because I care and love you so much and just want you to be happy. I want you to be the old you again, I want my happy boy back.” Wiping at her face, she pushed him at arm’s length so she could see his face. Taking her hand, she wiped the tears and snot with her sleeve off Izuku’s face, watery smile shaking on her face.

Izuku eyes were glazing over and looking at anywhere but his mother. Not having any of that, she softly took his chin between her fingers and brought his eyes to meet with hers.

“I know it’s not your fault, I never thought it to be your fault. I’m proud of you for how strong you’ve been towards this. I have a feeling you might be very disappointed in yourself, but you shouldn’t be. I’m not disappointed in you, I couldn’t be happier or more honored to have you as my son.” She softly brushed her hands on his face, cupping both his cheeks and resting her forehead onto his.

They both simply stood there, basking in each other’s comfort. A few minutes had passed before they drew apart. Izuku had calmed down considerably, the only clue from his earlier crying fest was from the slight puffiness of his eyes. Without saying a word, he picked up his back pack and pillow that had fallen to the floor.

Regarding his mother with mixed feelings, he let her envelop him into one last embrace until he saw her next, whenever that would be. He still wasn’t completely onboard with this whole thing, but after hearing his mother tell him she wasn’t embarrassed of him for being the way he was, he felt a small weight lift off of his shoulders. This was no way an epiphany for him, but it did let him feel a bit more at ease with the whole situation.

“I’ll see you later mom.” Turning his back, he headed towards the door and stuck his hand to the handle, waiting for the buzz. Hearing it not long after, he opened the one his hand was firmly grasping and was only half way in before he turned his head around and glanced at his mother.

“Thanks mom, for everything you had to go through. I love you.” It was almost like he could feel the breath of relief that over swept his mother and cascaded towards him. She gushed out her love and affection for him until it fell on deaf ears once the doors were closed behind him.

Chapter Text

It took him a bit longer to get back to his room than he would have liked. The facility was a lot larger than he first thought, with various stairs and maze like halls to navigate through. The fact he wasn’t necessarily paying attention to where he was going was also a large factor in making him lost. A few minutes passed before he was finally back on track, only taking one question to an orderly to point him in the right direction before he was in front of his door once more.

Maneuvering his hands full of his possessions, he grasped the door knob and swung it open…Right into the face of the person who was currently on the other side reach for the door handle as well.

Squawking in distress, Izuku dropped his items onto the floor, swinging his arms and hands around in frantic apology in front of the boy currently holding his nose in pain. Seriously, why is today turning out to be so accident prone on his part.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in the room! I had been in before not too long ago but it was empty so I just assumed it was empty again. It’s not like I was expecting you to be right behind the door when I opened, though I assume I should have knocked first. It just didn’t cross my mind, it’s my first time having a roommate of sorts and I’m just so new to this whole thing. Not saying that it’s your fault, because it’s not, I’m the one who opened the door like I owned the place. I am so sorry, I know I’m just rambling, it’s kind of something I do. It’s hard for me to stop when I get started and-and-and…” Izuku’s eyes were wide, whole face flushed with embarrassment, breathe caught in his throat with what had happened and the fact he wasn’t able to just- Shut. Up.

He clamped his mouth shut once he took notice of the other standing right in front of him. Giving him one of the most unimpressed and annoyed glares he had ever seen directed at him. Being glared at certainly was better than getting beat up.

He didn’t know how much time had passed but it felt like it had been forever, the both of them just staring at one another. One with embarrassment and the other with contempt. This seemed like the best time to assess one another, as discreetly as he could be in his position.

 The other boy was a few inches taller than him, hair parted with one side white and the other red. Was it natural? Izuku had no idea but if it was that’d be really interesting! What had caught his attention the most apart from the hair was the large scar surrounding his left eye, which was the most intense crystal blue he had ever seen! Todoroki was also approximately 10 cm higher than him if the way he was looking up at him said anything.

The guy was also wearing a type of white and grey outfit, the same as all the other patients he had seen wear. Why did psychiatric hospital think that white was a suitable colour for mentally ill patients. Either way, looked like he should try getting used to it.

By the time he came to reality, he realized he was simply staring at the Todoroki as well as mumbling underneath his breath about everything he was thinking, his face exploding in a red hot hue. His voice got caught in his throat, for the first time not being able to form words as he looked at the other.

“Uh…um..u-uh..” He managed to mumble out, gusts of hot air exploding from his parted lips. It was the tall tell sign of him falling on the brisk of another anxiety attack. He had already felt really faint when he smashed the door into him, but now he was just feeling incredibly shy. The other boy was really attractive, that was for sure, but he didn’t know why he was feeling this way.

If anything could describe Izuku Midoriya, it was the fact that he was never one to be lost for words. As he was trying to get himself under control, the other boy brushed past him. Their shoulders brushed softly against each other that made Izuku’s body go rigid. His heart was pumping a mile a minute, feeling slightly tight in his chest.

Izuku classified it as a new first meeting with his new roommate who he’d be spending a lot of time with at night. It was only natural that someone would feel shy and embarrassed on their first meeting, especial considering he assaulted the poor guy with their door.

It took considerably less time for him to get his bearings in order for him to realize he hadn’t introduced himself properly despite the word vomit he threw at Todoroki. Eyes wide, he sprinted out the door and yelled at the figure walking down the hall.

“My name is Izuku, Iuzku Midoriya, I’m sorry for hitting you in the face with the door, it was nice to meet you!” Izuku saw the guy stop in his tracks, looking like he was going to turn around and say something. In the end he just kept walking, not wanting to feel dejected he turned around to face his room and started picking up his items on the floor from earlier.

‘At least I know his last name. Todoroki. Why does that name sound really familiar?’  He pondered to himself as he started meticulously placing his various items around the room. It took him a lot longer than it should of, his need to make everything straight, organized and catalogue in a way that caused him grief. He hated how he needed to make everything look perfect. Hated how it made him feel, how debilitating it was to his everyday life.

He had to keep reminding himself that this was the reason why he was here in the first place. He needed help, he knew that. Only problem was that he didn’t like asking for help. Izuku, despite being a nervous wreck, liked being able to handle his worries on his own.

Once everything was done with, sweat wiped off of his forehead and laying down on top of his bed covers he glanced over at the clock. It was a little bit past four now, only two hours before dinner was about to commence. He wasn’t really sure what to do, and with the hassle and excitement he had throughout the time he’s been here, he felt a small nap might actually do him some good for once.

Izuku scooted up a little bit more on his bed, turning his back to the wall as he pressed his face into his pillow. He let out a sigh as he tried getting comfortable, willing his mind to calm down as he closed his eyes. With the ticking of the clock moving forward, it didn’t take long for Izuku to finally fall into the depths of slumber.

Izuku groaned, annoyed by the fact that someone was poking his shoulder trying to wake him up. Letting out a sigh as well as a groan, he took his head from where it was hiding under his pillow. He was expecting to see his mom, still thinking he was at home. Instead he was met with that same colour of crystal blue on the boy he had met not too long ago.

All that Izuku could do was blink his confusion and sleep out of his eyes as he kept looking at the boy. The next thing he knew, Izuku launched him backwards, hitting his back as well as the back of his head against the wall that rested behind him. Holding the back of his head in his hands after the contact, he uttered a few colourful words, groaning in pain.

Rubbing at his head furiously, making his already bed head even more in disarray, he looked at Todoroki questionably, the nerves from before coming back full force.

“H-hello? Do you…need something, um~?” He could only imagine what his face looked like, owlish with his large green eyes watching Todoroki’s every move.

Todoroki seemed like he was conflicte, his mouth opening and closing every few seconds. He waited patiently, wanting the other to gather their thoughts. Izuku didn’t know why, but he felt like Todoroki had a terrible time at finding words or interacting with other people. Not that Izuku was one to talk, but between the two of them, Izuku had been the only one to really ever say anything.

Todoroki seemed to have given up because all he did was get up and point to a pile of clothes sitting on his desk. Izuku let out a surprised oh and scuttled over on his bed and picked up the clothes. They consisted of an ensemble of a white t-shirt and grey sweat pants with strings.

“Ah…thank you.” He said as he finally got off the bed, cradling the clothing in his arms. He looked at Todoroki wondering if there was anything else. Todoroki looked like he didn’t know what else to do, if the unmoving stare he was giving Izuku was anything to go by.

“Is there…anything else?” Izuku asked, feeling sweat already starting to trickle down the back of his neck.

“Dinner.” Todoroki uttered out finally before he suddenly turned around and headed out the door. Izuku didn’t have a chance to say anything before the other was already out of the room. He got dressed in record time before sprinting out, not forgetting to put on his black hoodie that covered his arms.

He was having a battle within himself on whether or not Todoroki would allow him to walk next to him or if he should just stay a little bit further away. His need to talk and try to make friends for once quickly out won his desire to hide from everything and wish he could be back home. Taking the deepest of breaths, he braced himself as he finally caught up to Todoroki and started walking next to him.

He stole a few side glances at Todoroki every time he felt like the other wasn’t paying attention. He wasn’t being reasonably secretive about it though. Izuku, despite his best attempts, was not a person who knew how to be subtle. Izuku was trying to find a way to bring up the question of asking for his first name. Should he just ask him straight away? Maybe he should try and weasel it into a conversation at some other time. He wracked his brain for whatever else idea he could possibly come up with. He could feel his lip start to quiver with how stressful this was. It shouldn’t be this hard to try and talk to someone, why was it this hard?

“Shouto.” Izuku’s whipped his head towards his roommate at such a fast velocity that it almost looked painful. Izuku could do nothing but beam at Shouto with the biggest grin he could muster in his state. Shouto himself looked quite taken aback, but his momentary lapse in composure didn’t last long as he switched back to his stoic exterior.

The rest of the walk to the cafeteria was spent in silence, and as far as silence went, this one wasn’t half bad.