Archive of Our Own ^beta

Robert was bored. Honestly, he was always bored, but now he was bored and sober. Petting Betsy's head, he left his home and sour memories behind, with a warning to, “Stay on guard,” for Betsy. She always did, anyway. She never needed reminding.

The trip to the bar was normal and uneventful, the leisurely vibe he gave off making it-if you don’t know Robert all that well-seem as if he had no plans to drink that night. Any thoughts of the sort could quickly be dismissed as he turned onto a street littered with pubs, bars, and clubs. A corner store sat on the very end, however, and practically advertised their pain killers. A good business for a street known for giving you a killer hangover the next morning.

Robert’s favorite bar, however, was a loud contrast to everything about him. Kim and Jim’s was quiet, and often went unseen. In the midst of themed pubs, the quaint little place went without a single glance from most. He walked into the bar, Neil nodded in his direction before pouring a whiskey. “Goddamn, Neil.” He chuckled.

“You’ve been ordering the same thing for months, don’t act surprised.” Neil teased, walking away to deal with another customer.

Robert downed the glass quickly, grunting as the drink burned the back of his throat. You’d think he’d be used to it, but Robert likes to compare whiskey to, “Downing a shot of Listerine.” No one can tell if he’s joking or not, because it’s a very ‘Robert’ thing to do if he did, but it’s also very like him if he didn’t. Robert likes that, confusing others with his jokes and half-truths. It builds reputation, and honestly what he cares about more-it messes with people. He didn’t, of course, take the shot of Listerine. He filled the cap and chugged it.

As Neil poured him his second glass, he looked out over the bar. “Look at it, Neil.” He said, knowing he won’t respond. He normally doesn’t, anyway. “It’s beautiful.”

Neil smirked in response. “What, the bar or that blonde guy?” Robert assumed he was just feeling talkative that particular night.

“The blonde.” Robert smiled.

Neil shook his head, still smiling.

Honestly, he hadn’t even seen the blonde. He was talking about the people. Robert loved people. He hated talking to them, but he absolutely adored the idea of them. Sentient hairless beasts, controlling their murderous urges long enough to form language-and then societies. He loved the idea of busy little nobody’s, meaning so much to only so many, trying to make a dent in the world. The idea of a person, or a group of people, could make or break all that. These thoughts helped him sleep at night. Some nights. When whiskey wasn’t enough to lull him to sleep.

He did check out that blond, though. God, he was hot. He made his way over, strutting rather than his usual stroll. “Hey,” he said, voice gruff and raw.

“Hi,” the Mystery Blonde responded, his voice seductive and genuine, nothing like Robert.

“Robert,” he said, keeping the Tough Guy Voice.

“Joseph,” he said, waving his hand to Neil to get him another drink. “Can I buy you a drink?” He offered.

Wow, said Robert’s inner thoughts. He’s cliche as fuck. At least he’s cute. “Yeah,” Robert said, sitting scarily close to the man on the red leather couch. “That’d be nice.” He kept a straight face, although feeling the urge to smile. It’s been too long since he’d done this, he decided.

Neil delivered their drinks, shooting a smirk at Robert on his way back to the actual bar part of the bar. Robert brushed it off like a paper cut.

Margaritas. Of course. The one drink Robert couldn’t stand. He sipped it anyway, appreciating the change. His throat thanked him immediately. His liver seemed to hate him more. Joseph wrapped one of his arms around Robert, but he didn’t mind. He rested his head on Joseph’s chest, listening to his heartbeat as they both drank.

Robert didn’t mind this, not at all, but he was getting hornier by the second. He turned and kissed Joseph’s mouth with passion and ease in one, fluid movement. Joseph held his waist, deepening the kiss while helping him comfortably move his body. He was on Joseph’s lap now, and had no clear care as to where this was going.

Joseph broke off, causing him Robert to whine ever so slightly before he caught himself. Joseph smirked, “Let’s get out of here.”

“Yeah, alright,” Robert agreed, still panting. Holy shit, he was good.

They walked drunkenly for a while, both too horny to talk. Robert was flushed all the way back.

When they reached Robert’s door, he fumbled with the keys before putting it in, his hands shaking from..excitement? God, what was he, fifteen? Joseph kissed him, his back against the door. He wrapped his legs around Joseph’s waist, trusting him not to let him fall. Joseph grabbed his ass with both hands, causing Robert to moan into the kiss. Joseph pulled back for the second time, and Robert whined again. Joseph kissed Robert’s jaw, turning the whine into a groan. He left a trail of hickeys down Robert’s neck, Robert moaning and groaning the whole time.

Joseph carried Robert through the house. “Which one’s your’s?” He asked, walking into a corridor.

“Last one, left,” Robert breathed, gasping and desperate.

-----

Joseph dropped him on the bed, the two connected at the lips. Robert pulled frantically at Joseph’s belt loop, the jeans revealing the tiniest sliver of underwear. Joseph seemed to pull of Robert’s pants with ease, his hips bucking up into Joseph. The friction-or lack thereof-was driving him insane. Joseph stepped off to strip, Robert’s eyes glued to his every movement. Joseph smirked in response, “Like what you see?”

Robert couldn’t seem to process a single coherent thought. He nodded, an intelligent “Uh-huh,” going along with it. Joseph chuckled before throwing off his underwear.

Joseph climbed back on top of Robert, causing Whiskey Dad to stifle a moan. His hands explored the blonde’s body, and opted to clutch his back as Joseph reached for the lube on Robert’s side table. He slicked his fingers and dick, Robert watching again.

Joseph’s index finger pressed lightly on Robert’s asshole, causing the bottom to moan pleasantly. Joseph stuck the tip in, sending Robert into a fit of moans. He held it there until Robert adjusted, then stuck the entire finger in him in one go. Robert’s back arched, his legs wrapping around the man on top of him for better entrance. Joseph slid the finger in and out a few time, earning a response each time. He quickly added a second finger, scissoring the two to stretch out Robert’s hole.

-----

Once Robert was stretched to what Joseph deemed to be big enough, he slid his cock into the hole slowly. He was sitting up at this point, Robert’s legs still around him and his arms around Joseph’s neck. He moaned, throwing his head back.

Joseph reached up, pulling Robert’s hair as he rode him. Robert groaned, leaning into his hand. Robert started to increase in speed, getting more and more desperate. The only sounds in the house were Robert’s moans and the slapping sound of skin-hitting-skin, and honestly, it was music to Joseph’s ears.

Robert felt a wave of pure pleasure wash over him as the orgasm hit, making his body shake and his vision spotty. He rode it out on Joseph, his dick twitching as he came back to reality.

Joseph followed quickly, coming inside of Robert. Once the high passed, Robert climbed off drunkenly and fell face first into his pillow. He passed out as soon as his head hit the cushion. Joseph fell back, too. He, however, took the time to cover the two in a blanket. He quickly passed out next to Robert, wishing he’d used a condom and hoping Robert wasn’t positive.