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It was March fourth. Diana’s hands were practically numb from the slight chill and her face felt stuck in a scowl that could curse children.
This wasn’t working out for her so far, she had run all the way here and she glared at the passing crowds of tourists and businesspeople. She ran across town, that was the first sprint, then she arranged her hair back into place and made her way calmly across the street.
The first parlour was run by a man over six feet tall that smelled like onions and whiskey, it had a line of five people and made her skin feel like an oil slick. She accidentally kicked an umbrella stand over on her way out and then started running again.
The second establishment was a runny little building at the west end, its gutters were overflowing and it reminded Diana of a living health code violation. She watched a 40-year-old woman wipe the needle on her pants and Diana departed immediately.
It was March fourth.
The third location was a hole in the wall, stuffed between a specialized grocery store and two pubs in a row. It was twice as long as it was wide, had a large glass door on the front and a deep blue exterior, it was the blue that caught her eye.
A deep royal blue that reminded her of valleys or oceans and not some smokey London street that sold cigarettes outside the loo. It reminded her terribly of something else and she managed to stop just down the street to stare at it.
She flipped her collar up against the misty chill of the evening and walks toward it mechanically, her phone had already told her this was the other closest tattoo parlour she could visit that weekend. Diana tries not to dwell on what she’s doing at that moment.
She was a Cavendish, she inspected something thoroughly before she didn’t do it.
The hazy night sky was barely visible against wispy grey clouds and Diana was standing outside a tiny blue tattoo parlour with a sign in the window: Come in! :) . It looked hand made. She leans forward and makes out lights and wall paper with big yellow flowers on the inside.
“Well fine,” she goes in.
She may have been expecting a lot of things, more cigarette smoke and bad 80s rock, another man asking if Diana came to ‘let loose a little.’
She didn’t expect a cluttered warm-smelling room, covered with different haphazard wallpaper on each wall, a glass case, and then a tiny brunette in a plain t-shirt and jean jacket standing in the corner. Bubblegum pop music plays softly in the background and the Japanese girl with a huge smile on her face turns toward the front door.
Diana’s mouth makes a little ‘o.’ This wasn’t a 40 year old women accusing her of being drunk or a six foot three sailor.
“Hello!” She waves, Diana hardens her eyes.
She felt a little dumb standing in the doorway, she nods stiffly back. The girl blinks a couple times and then wipes her hands down.
“What can I do for you today?” She was still smiling, Diana looks creakily to the left and then to the right.
“What can you do.” She didn’t state it like a question, she just felt her thoughts ramming into each other as she took in the pictures of trading cards in the case. Chariot trading cards.
The girl bounces to her feet and then seems to bounce right over to her, “I’m Akko! Akko Kagari, I can do anything you have your heart set on,” The girl clapped her hands together and Diana stepped backward from her sun glare.
“Oh,” She sort of wished she’d somehow been turned away. It was March the fourth.
“Hmm.” Akko looked her up and down, “a heart? A star? I can do some killer roses! Or,” she winks, “a lovers name maybe?”
Diana narrows her eyes, she wasn’t sure what her angle was for this sales pitch. Diana straightens her suit jacket, “a caduceus.”
“A what?” Akko tilted her head, blinking serenely now. Diana could just make out the edges of an almost golden ink along her collarbone, a shimmering tattoo. Diana’s face heats up.
“The winged staff and two snakes, or,” she frowns, “a unicorn. Yes, no,” she twitches, “a unicorn with...with a woman.”
“Uh, I can do unicorns.” Akko was giving her a funny look, Diana was feeling a little funny.
“I have to go,” she turns around, this had been a bad idea to begin with.
-----------
The temptation to get a tattoo was not a regular one, especially for Diana. It had begun late in the evening and dragged her across the city streets of London.
She wasn’t a particular fan of London, it was lovely and sometimes it reminded her of a milk white hand holding hers, of going downtown and eating smoked nuts. Of something else.
But London meant business, it meant visiting boardrooms and interrupting her school life to hold together her family legacy by a shoestring.
It would be nice if her aunt wasn't trying to sell their assets off to the highest bidder as quickly as possibly, that would be nice. If this was still an era for duels Diana might have thought of alternative solutions to Daryll.
It was however, the twenty-first century and Diana was a twenty-first century girl who didn’t have any tattoos, she didn’t regularly want any tattoos. Until she did.
“It’s just another peak,” she assures herself the next day.
She only had two days of business in London but it was usually enough to fill her time and give her a headache in between meetings, she found time to get to Wittenberg Street anyway.
It was a smokey downtown street where they sold cigarettes outside the loo and some of the sidewalk turned to cobblestone if you kept walking long enough. Diana was on the phone when she got off the underground.
She was supposed to get back to Oxford that night, she was walking toward the tattoo parlour.
She was sure there were other tattoo parlours in the world, some even in Oxford, but this one was blue with a glass door and a handmade sign. This one had three walls with floral wallpaper on one, nautical anchors and mermaids on the other, and finally one large mural of Chariot, Chariot DuNord.
Diana finds herself walking back.
“It’s a quick trip,” she was saying to herself, “it won’t even hurt.” She walks like there was fire on her heels, past the specialized grocery store and the smells of something musky cooking from inside.
She stops at the door and takes a couple steadying breaths before she changes her mind.
The bell on the door jingles sharply this time as she opened the door, the dim lights and whirr of some machine in the corner fills the space. Her eyebrows raise, she wasn’t alone this time.
She saw the back of a brunette head with her hair tied back in a tight ponytail and the face of a very tense looking boy with his forearm out. He looked like he was trying to gnaw through his own bottom lip.
It smelled like heather and perhaps rainwater, something damp almost- that was for sure.
“You’re doing great,” Akko was talking to her customer as she seemed to be working on a circular design, “we’re almost there.”
The boy’s features were pinched at every angle, but nods.
Diana blinks a couple times and thinks about leaving, she knew she didn’t need this, her aunt Daryll would shame her for months for getting it. Her board members would have something to say.
Diana stands dumbly in the entranceway and grips her right wrist with her left hand.
“I’ll be with you in a minute!” Akko calls over her shoulder and Diana jerks her head to the right. She waits.
“Is it almost done?” The boy's voice squeaks and Diana wonders how actually painful tattoos were, it couldn’t be worse than having your ears pierced.
“It’s gonna look awesome!” Akko cheers and Diana tilted her head at the sound of her voice. It was warm.
Diana might have just told the boy to stop sniveling, but maybe that was just another memory.
“Annnnn,” Akko was so loud, Diana wrinkles her nose as she drags out the word, “nnnnnnd, ta-dah!” Akko jumped backward with her whirring needle, “Look at it for a sec and then I’ll wrap it up for ya. Pretty cool!”
The boy blinked his charcoal brown eyes and then down at a rectangle tattoo, he beams. “Oh damn! It really came out.”
“Uh-huh, uh-huh,” Akko nods and turns her machine off as she reaches down.
Diana peers over and recognizes the ‘Pappiliodya Chariot Trading Card’ almost glowing on the boy's arm, she wrinkles her nose again. Wasn’t everyone in this room above twenty?
The trading card presents an intricate flowing yellow butterfly design.
“Dude, this is sick,” he bounces in his chair, “they weren’t kidding when you said you could make it look like the real thing.”
“Of course!” Akko flexes her right arm and kisses her muscle, the boy laughs and Diana has to cover her face after a brief smile. “Now, be sure to keep this on for four hours and not pick at it. Put moisturizer on it when it starts to peel! It’ll bleed a tiny bit, but that’s normal.”
He wasn’t looking at her as he looked down at the square card with a deep reverence, Diana was looking at it too. The boy looked like he might hug Akko.
“She’s gonna love this,” he says with a grin and Diana watches as Akko wraps the boy’s arm up in some plastic material.
She was still just standing on the door.
“I’ll take you to the front now,” Diana shuffles to the side, Akko’s eyes glide over her but she seems to finish the transaction first. Chariot Cards were extra it seems, but Diana could see why.
The ink was detailed and swirling, moving almost, just like the card, and laced with some gold shimmer ink. The boy was pretty excited.
“Todd is going to be so fucking jealous too,” he puts his fist up and presents it, “so glad we got to you in London.”
They fist bump and Diana restrains from rolling her eyes, the boy seems to tip Akko and then turns around. “Night Akko!”
Akko waves and she straightens some papers and a stack of business cards with an over-enthusiastic font. She turns to Diana slowly.
“It’s you!” She crows, putting her hands on her hips and leaning forward, “I knew it.”
Diana furrows her brow, “excuse me?”
Akko rested her hand on the glass case, “oh, you just looked like you’d be back!”
Diana shook her head, “it’s not what you think.”
Akko shifted from side to side, “I think a lot of things, I wouldn’t be so sure.” She never really stopped smiling, did she?
Diana’s skin prickles, she frowns, “the butterfly…”
“Yeah, we could do one of those. Or a bird, or a heart! You look like you might like a heart, with a moon in it maybe? Or,” Akko’s face goes slack. “Of course.”
Diana hunches over, “of course?”
“You want my specialty,” she whips one of the cards from the case, “you want a Chariot Card!” Akko seemed like she might rival the Tuscan sun at that moment, she shines. “The Alcor card, no! You’re a ‘A Believing Heart’ card girl, I know it, I know it- I can see it in you.”
Diana clenched her jaw, “you don’t even know my name.”
“Oh,” Akko pauses and puts down ‘A Believing Heart’ card before walking over. “I guess in-out girl isn’t a good name either.”
Diana’s mouth fell open. “It’s Diana.” She says roughly, not giving her last. She didn’t need ‘Cavendish was in my downtown shop’ gossip running around.
Akko’s face split, “That’s a very nice name.” She pushes a stray hair back, “Yes, it suits you!”
“Thanks,” Diana says sharply, her eyes dart back toward the chair and the needle, “I’m interested...in the work.”
“There’s a unicorn Chariot Card too,” Akko was going through her stack.
“No,” Diana’s thoughts raced, “I mean, I mean I want to learn to tattoo.” Diana isn’t sure where that came from, but it was one way to stop this parade of excitement from the artist. It felt like the thing to say at the time.
Akko paused, her hands slowing, “you what?”
Diana straightened up, “I said, I just want to learn some of the art. To do one myself.” She wouldn’t have to say any embarrassing requests out loud then, she could just ink herself.
Akko’s mouth was open, Diana lifted her chin. “I can pay you.”
Akko tilted her head to the side, she hummed, “That isn’t what I expected.” She looked her up and down, “aren’t you a university girl?”
Diana raised both eyebrows, maybe she was observant. “That doesn’t mean I can’t learn something like this.” The words feel a little foolish in her mouth. Akko was looking at her searchingly, “And if you can’t do it…” She starts to turn around.
“Why?” She feels a hand tug on her sleeve, Akko had reached across the counter and latched onto her. “You really…?”
Diana sniffs, “it’s just something I want.”
Akko seemed to study her, “I really can do most things. It won’t be an embarrassing request if you’d like a bunny or lyrics or something!”
“I know.” She says softly.
“Or even Japanese characters if that’s what you’re here for.”
“I’m not,” Diana pushed her own hair back, “I’m sure you’re very talented.” Diana sniffs, “And I’m sure you’re busy.” She reaches for the door.
“Wait,” Akko was still holding onto her arm. Diana pauses, Akko takes a deep breath, “you are pretty fancy.”
Diana raises an eyebrow and then clears her throat, “alright then.”
“You wouldn’t want this if you weren’t serious,” she says simply, “and you’d like to pay me, yeah?”
Diana squared her shoulders, she had Akko’s attention. “I would.”
Her thoughts bite at each other’s heels as Diana stares back at her, this isn’t what she intended when she walked in the door.
But Cavendish's follow through.
“Can you get to Oxford on some weekends?”
Diana suddenly had a tattoo mentor, she told herself that would be the fastest way to solve this dilemma.
--------------------
Diana was not sure she liked the things she got up to after long days in London staring at the back of aunt Daryll’s head. Apparently, she went off and enlisted tattoo artists to teach her random skills.
She was about to get an MBA in Business Management and was somehow arranging a train ticket for an overly-friendly stranger around her age.
Atsuko Kagari. She started to google her.
Akko Kagari was 21 years old, Akko Kagari learned to tattoo in Okinawa and then did specialty practice in Seattle. Akko Kagari had an Instagram and people that favorited almost all of her inking posts.
Akko Kagari had another string of people making jokes about her early designs, which were, admittedly, terrifyingly bad- squiggly rabbits and poor elephants and uneven ears. But she had mastered gold ink, she had traveled to different mentors.
Picture after picture of Akko in Mexico City, in Rome, in Buenos Aires, in Moscow and Beijing and then London. Then a little shop in Wittenberg street.
Where was she going?
Diana didn’t know.
It was a Saturday, it was a Saturday at the tail end of a very damp March and right before more midterms. Diana felt the strong impulse to study, to lock herself back up in the library and bury herself three stacks deep in books- that would be preferable.
Instead, she was waiting at the train station to greet one stranger who was going to teach her a trade skill she didn’t need. But Diana never backed out.
She saw Akko’s ponytail first, barely visible above the crowd as she tore her way through the people and bounded forward. Despite the weather she had on a pair of shorts, brown boots and a heavy red jacket.
Diana waved a hand loosely over to her, “over here.”
Akko looked back and forth and then trotted over in Diana’s direction, “hello majesty.” Diana blinked a couple times, Akko pointed at her hand, “you’re waving like the queen.”
Diana sighs to herself, “this way.” She hunched her shoulders slightly, “I brought a notebook to write down the basics.”
“Uh,” Akko followed her through the busy station and Diana tries to navigate to the secluded hill by the rivers. “It’s really more of a feeling,” Akko was chattering, “you gotta feel it. Like a smell! You feel the thing, and poof, it’s all around you- pouring out.”
“That doesn’t sound safe,” she says flatly, “it’s a sharp needle.”
Akko snorts, “I’ve only ever stabbed myself.” She chirps and Diana cringes, “if you feel right, the picture comes out right!”
Diana shakes her head and starts climbing, “up this way.” Luckily, the weather wasn’t so terrible to stop them from sitting outside, the grass was almost dry even.
Akko bobbed onto the spring grass first and Diana eased herself into the place next to her, flattening her skirt down as she kneeled. She clears her throat and they spend a moment looking at each other, brown large eyes with a red sheen. Like a door, a Mahogany door.
Diana realizes she’s holding her breath and then kicks her legs out.
“I was just interested in the basics.” She says sternly, like she was chiding herself, and then looks away.
“Sure,” Akko was nodding, “we can do pressure application and how to work with different parts of the body.” Akko stuck her tongue out slightly, “I have the book here.”
Akko took out ‘Tattooing for Dummies’ and Diana has to cover laughter, there were colored tabs throughout the pages. Diana swallows down another laugh.
“Oh gosh,” she snorts and Akko glances at her.
“Diana,” she says slowly and Diana almost chokes on her tongue this time. “Is there a type of inking you’d like to focus on?”
Diana pushed her hair back and looked away, “not really.” She sniffs, “I just want one. One to do myself.”
Akko wags a finger at her, “you really shouldn’t tattoo yourself if you’re not an expert.”
Diana puts her hands out and nudges her, “Make me an expert then.” She sets her jaw, “I’ve seen your work.”
She watches Akko’s cheeks pink slightly, “alright...I can try,” she gives a cheeky grin, “for your majesty…”
She cracks open her book, littered with notes on the margins and papers stuffed into the front cover, “let’s start with applying pressure…”
Diana has to sit still and listen as Akko’s voice falls into something serious, Diana has to stop and pay attention. Akko’s brown hair floats in the breeze and her lips move to some unseen rhythm.
Diana has to turn off her group text with Barbara and Hannah and listen. Akko was business at first, like the words had been drilled into her with a persistent hammer, but she was easily lost.
“... and then I had Sucy, she works in the place next to me, she’s getting this list on her thigh. She gets one thing of the list every few months and she likes it when I press down harder. But she’s a weirdo! She finally told me the list is instructions on how to avenge her death. Weird! And then there was this other guy who wouldn’t let me so much as touch him.”
Diana tried to nod and then watches Akko’s hands dance around her as she talked, it was animated like an energy drink hit by lightning. Diana clears her throat.
“Can we go over line work? I’d like to make steady lines.”
Akko raises an eyebrow, she puts her finger in the air, “that’s one of the hardest parts.”
Diana gives a small smile, “I see.”
Akko shakes her head, “you’re pretty persistent.” She hugs her legs to her, “you’d make a great tattoo-ist.”
Diana sticks her lip out, “who says I won’t be?”
Akko snickers, “you’re only doing one for yourself. I meant in a parlour.”
Diana gives a cheeky look, “who says I won’t?”
“Haha, I’ll be the first to hire you!” Akko laughs, “you can do all the tiny heart designs that I don’t want to.”
Diana leans back on her arm, “weren’t you going to give me a heart design?”
“Yeah, but that’s before,” Akko looked both ways, “before.”
Diana raises an eyebrow, “before?”
“You know,” Akko’s hands were waving around again, “before I knew you weren’t just another university girl ‘experimenting.’ Not that that’s bad! But they uh, usually get those.”
Diana shakes her head and looks up to the shady pale skies, “Perhaps I am just another university girl. Perhaps I’ll get a heart.”
There is a long pause, a little lull of silence that made her hiccup on her own breath.
She hears Akko laugh, “A heart with a little dagger in it's hand.”
“Dagger?” Akko had Diana’s attention.
“For when you rip people’s hearts out and tell them this happened because they were idiots or something.”
Diana sniffs angrily, “Don’t forget the grave I shove them in.” She says flatly and Akko laughs again, it was a good sound. Diana joins her briefly.
“See? Not flower-moon material.”
Diana let’s out a long breath, she opens her mouth, I don’t know which one I want. She closes it again.
A long pregnant moment stretches between them again before an earth-shaking rumbling noise vibrates the air, Diana turns to Akko languidly, “Hungry?”
Akko holds her stomach, “maybe… a lot. Very much.” Diana chuckles.
She looked like a little kid in that moment, a little kid with a tattoo of a woman on her leg and almost a full-arm sleeve. Sitting on the grass and asking her where the closest Nandos was.
Diana looks the over direction, “my treat.” She sees stiffly.
“What’s that?”
“I’ll take you to this Ethiopian place around the corner. My treat.” She tenses, “for the lessons.”
“Really?” Akko clapped her hands together, “A prince among men!” She whoops and Diana dusts herself off as she gets up.
“I thought I was your majesty?” She fixes Akko’s askew collar instinctively, Akko squirms.
“You’re a lot of things.”
Diana smiles a little and walks her down the hill and toward the sleepy university town, “now, tell me about hand-steadying techniques.”
Akko sighs and puts her hands up, “I suppose I can’t just say ‘you have to feel it,’ can I?”
“No.”
Akko tries again and they discuss tattoos and the world and whatever the hell Akko meant by ‘listening closely to your heart before working.’
She buys her a Doro Wot and is amazed as Akko somehow adds hot sauce to it and keeps eating, slurping down the spicy chicken.
She keeps talking while she eats and Diana wants to wipe her chin or smack her, Akko was describing different cities.
Rome, Riga, Chicago, Jamaica briefly (apparently she passed out and ended up there with some very nice people after being kicked off a cruise). Diana finds herself laughing a little too much.
She watches her move like a live-action claymation video set on fast-forward. Diana only puts her hand out once, curiously, strangely.
“Why are you moving through all these places?” As far as Diana understood Akko saved up her tattoo money off of tiny shops she established and then used that to push off again.
Akko chews on her chicken again, “lookring.”
“What?” Diana pauses eating her Gomen.
Akko seems to swallow the entire bite whole, her face goes still, like a butterfly suddenly being trapped under glass. “You know,” she says tentatively, “I’m just looking for someone.”
Diana looks her up and down, biting her cheek, “will you be off again soon?”
Akko frowns for once, “Not yet.” She says halting, “I think I’m close. Maybe just one more plane ride. Or tip off.” She takes a deep breath, “I think I’m getting close to Chariot!”
“Oh,” Diana didn’t know what to make of that. Chariot DuNord was entertainment star most people just assumed faded like a dying red planet and dropped off the map.
Maybe someone was still looking.
Diana studies her face, “good luck to you.” Akko was making a strange expression, “if anyone could do it…” Diana didn’t know what she was saying, “you seem like the right fit.”
“Really?” Akko had sauce on her nose, Diana looks away.
“You seem...persistent.” Diana fluffs her own hair and says, “Stubborn.”
“We have something in common then!” Diana rolls her eyes and Akko tells her more about lattice techniques with ink.
Diana couldn’t remember when she had an evening like this before, maybe she never did.
----------
Diana doesn’t know why she plays the fool to herself. March fourth had already passed, she already jumped through the hoops, she had already played the game.
She arranges to see Akko again anyway.
And then again.
She finds herself texting her in the middle of class, mostly to tell her to stop texting her in the middle of class. She finds herself seeing her on weekends, waiting at the train station earlier and earlier each time.
She finds herself spotting Akko in the crowd, and realizing it’s not her.
To her own surprise, Diana was making a friend. She wasn’t used to that, mostly friends were just brought to her and had their own trust funds and small business empires she needed to cozy up to.
Diana was starting to feel twists form in her stomach.
--------------
It happened on one April morning, almost at 4am, a slight drizzle was gracing the sky and the whole room swam with dark colors. Diana was looking into a pool, a deep pool where a figure sat underneath the waters and perched on a dead tree stump, Diana began to cry.
“No,” her head swam, “no…”
Her voice was hoarse from calling out, her fingernails tearing at her nightdress as she violently flailed in bed, March fourth had already passed.
“No!” She dug her nails into her leg and starts awake, she fumbles for the phone with the dream fresh in her scrambled thoughts. Her hands tremble and her vision is completely blurred. A soft drizzle coats her window and she peers out as she dials a number.
Why was she dialing a number.
“Diana,” it was a sleepy voice, thick with a tangible grogginess, “is that you?”
Diana’s eyes go wide, that isn’t who she meant to call. She gives a deep shuddering breath and wipes the wetness from her cheeks, “G-go to sleep Akko.”
“You’re the one that called me,” Akko sounds awake now. “Is something wrong?”
“I’m sorry.” Diana hangs up the phone and hugs her legs to herself, she was sorry, so sorry.
Diana stayed awake after that. She had managed to snag her own lone flat next to the school and she felt the echoing of the empty halls in her bones. She hugs her legs to her chest and let the deep shuddering breaths rack her body.
She wasn’t going to cry, she wasn’t going to cry again.
She doesn’t know how much time passes, it all swam before her like a wave taunting the shoreline and swooping back and forth, merciless. It must have been a lot of time.
“Diana!” She hears a turbulent knock on her front door, “Diana, I’m here, come out!”
She stiffens and wonders why someone was pounding on her front door and why Mr. Stevens wasn’t getting it for her. She wipes her face and realizes he had quit two years ago.
Diana sways to her feet and fumbles to the door, “I’m fine!” Her voice was raw and naked in her throat.
“What was that phone call?”
“It’s nothing,” Diana pushes everything down, “wrong number.”
“Let me in then,” Akko says thickly, “It’s Saturday, we could go see the movies. I’ll teach you a new technique.”
“I’m sorry you came all this,” she keeps her tone even, “but I have school work.”
Akko was knocking at the door, “You sound funny.” She knocks again, “come on! Even queens need companions. Tell me why you called.”
“Go home Akko.”
She hears a thump sound, someone was leaning on the front door, “I’m not going anywhere.”
Diana heaves a long sigh and reaches out, her fingers shaking as she grasps the nod, “I’m not, I’m not-” She swallows painfully.
She opens the door ever so slightly, just a crack, “I need you to go.”
Akko’s large brown eyes are looking her up and down, she was leaning on the door and crawling toward the opening.
“You’ve been crying…” Diana doesn’t respond, Akko grabs at the crack in the door and pries it a little wider open, “Tell me Diana.”
Diana rubs at her ruddy face furiously, her thoughts racing. “I need it.” She says roughly, “I need the tattoo today. I can’t wait any longer.”
Diana’s body gives out, dropping to the ground slowly- like a chair leg that finally collapses under a heavy weight. Akko barely catches her as she curls into herself, Akko holds her for a very long moment.
“Okay,” she says in a small voice, “whatever you need Diana.”
-
Diana bundles herself up in her long coat and slips on her summer sandals before numbly walking out the door, the sky is slowly clearing and the sun was peaking through a moderate day. She isn’t sure how she made it to London but she did remember Akko taking her hand on the tram.
It was warm.
Diana’s eyes glazed over and when she blinked she was somewhere new. Wittenberg Street again, the smokey narrow pass where they sold cigarettes outside the loo and the pavement turned to cobblestone if you followed it long enough.
Diana closed her eyes and realized Akko still had her hand, Diana’s senses come back to her one by one. Akko leads her to the tucked away tattoo shop that was twice as long as it was wide. Diana touches the blue paint on the outside.
She sniffs, “I always liked this.”
Akko’s eyes were unusually soft, “me too.”
She follows her in, Diana’s gaze is unfocused and loose, she tries to put her hand on the glass case with Chariot Cards inside.
“A Unicorn,” she murmurs, “or maybe that doctor symbol. The staff with the snakes.” She buries her face in her hands, “a nightingale. Anything.”
Akko leads her to the chair, “you can get whatever you like. More than one even!”
Diana shakes her head numbly, “just one. Where I can see it.”
“Anything you want,” she kept saying that, Akko threaded her fingers through Diana’s hair- it had become knotted during the night, Akko untangles it. “But you have to tell me what this is about.”
Diana blinked unseeingly ahead, “nothing.”
Akko shook her head, “I can’t give tattoos to people who are not in the right state of mind. Not drunk or drugged or…” She peters off and her eyes flash up hesitantly.
Diana bit her bottom lip, and then she kept biting it, “I,” she took in a wheezing shattering breath of air, “you won’t understand.”
She hated how small she sounded, how frail, Akko was squeezing her hand.
“Are you looking for someone too?” Akko was staring ahead at the Chariot mural behind them.
Diana shook her head, “No…” She trails off and the words bubble up from deep within, “I don’t remember her face.” It tumbles out of her like a confetti canon, the tears well up again, “I realized,” she heaves a breath, “I don’t remember her face.”
Akko leans forward until their eyes are inches apart, she speaks gently, “who’s?”
“Mom’s,” she whispers, “it was our anniversary and I tried,” she swallows a wet sound, “I tried to remember it.” She covers her face with her free hand, her shoulders shaking, “It’s gone, it’s all gone!”
I’m a disgrace, Diana wanted to stop crying, she wanted to be someone else- the person she created. Not this.
“Sshhh,” Akko pet her head, “it’s okay.”
Diana shook her head, “I don’t remember it.” She starts to hyperventilate, “I need to remember her. Everything, her.”
“Ssshhh,” Akko presses down on Diana’s skin, “it's alright. You’re doing great.” She said the words like she talked to the boy the second time Diana visited. She didn’t know what she meant.
Akko crawled into her lap and pet her hair while Diana worked through a very bad dream. It wasn’t March 4th anymore.
-------------
Diana didn’t end up getting a tattoo that day, nor the next. She took Akko to ice cream shop and told her not to tell anyone about that. Akko rolled her eyes and told her Diana had to have more faith in her friends.
Friends. It suddenly felt like a bad word, but she doesn’t say that.
And the next day Diana takes Akko to the movie she wanted to see and maybe she talks about her mom for a couple hours on the walk home, the long way home.
Akko says she’s getting closer, closer to all the paper trails Chariot left, Diana’s heart thumped.
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Diana got her first tattoo of a caduceus. It was gold and winged and reminded her of her mom’s saying: help who you can Diana, whenever you can.
She told Akko about her mom’s doctorate and all the nurses at the Royal London Hospital.
It was on her forearm.
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She got her second tattoo of a unicorn, a young woman standing by a unicorn’s mane, petting it. Akko leaned over her as she made it and Diana counted her eyelashes, they were large and framed her brown irises. Her eyes were different in light of her concentration, clear, taut.
She dotted Diana’s skin carefully, moving closely and precisely. Diana had found that she had begun to enjoy the sting of the needle as she watched her work.
“Do you want me to detail the face?” Akko asks breathlessly, softly.
Diana shakes her head, “not yet.”
She holds her hand on the way home and they drive miles and miles out of London and into the countryside, it’s a four day weekend and she shows Akko her favorite farmhouses and sheep.
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She gets her third tattoo on a dare.
A bad dare, a poor dare, a dare nonetheless.
They were in Oxford, walking next to a footpath by the Thames and listening to a bicyclists yell at a motorist for swerving into his path. The clouds were puffy white cotton balls instead of flattened grey pancakes and the sun gently kissed Akko’s cheeks as she turned toward her.
Diana smiles to herself.
“I hear you’re selling to some heiress next week,” she says with a little grin.
Akko shrugs, “business is good.” She leans on Diana’s arm, “too good. They want me to do water color work.”
“Can you do water color work?”
Akko puffs her chest out, “of course.” She set her chin, “with a little practice.”
Diana laughs, “well, I’m sure someone in London could give you a lesson if you look.”
Akko shakes her head and tugs on Diana’s sleeve again, “When are you going to get your next one? I’ll learn watercolor tattoos if you’re the one that wants one.”
Diana felt her face heat up slightly, she looks away. “I can’t just get these things on a whim.”
“Of course you can!” She cheered, “that’s what makes them fun.”
Diana slows down their slow and pauses to glance at her, “you’re a menace to public decision making you know.”
Akko snorts, “I love being a menace.”
Diana laughs and pats Akko’s arm, “I can tell.” They laugh again and Akko is still looking at her.
It happened on that clear spring day, with clouds like cotton balls and sky like lovely blue syrup.
“What should I get then?” Diana asks teasingly, “You seem to have lots of answers.”
Akko tapped her chin, “something just for you!” Diana feels her expression pinch.
“Oh?”
“Or a lover!”
If Diana was drinking something she would have spit it out, “What have I done to ever suggest I have a lover?”
Akko put her hands together, “duh, you’re like the prettiest most intelligent girl I know. Don’t hide it from me! No one could resist your fluffy princess hair.” Akko primps Diana’s long blonde hair and Diana swats her hand away.
“It takes more than that to get dates you know.” She says in a monotone. “Plus, tattoos are permanent and love isn’t exactly like that.”
Akko’s mouth falls open, “they’re the same thing!”
“I don’t want some random person’s name on me forever.” Diana defends.
Akko crosses her arms across her chest forcefully, “Love tattoos are the best ones. They’re the same things.”
Diana raised her eyebrows, “how would you know?”
“I have eyes,” Akko stuck out her tongue at her, their eyes meet. “And they’re both, you know, both can be permanent.”
She frowns deeply, “you can be a little silly sometimes I’m sure you know.”
“You’re the silly one,” Akko’s face was burning an angry red as she balled up her hands, “you don’t even…”
Diana took in a deep breath and looked Akko up and down, “do you have a love tattoo?” She asks curiously, Akko just shook her head.
“But if I did…” She looks up, the heat dying in her eyes, “I know what I’d want.” Her eyes were on her, Diana slowly counts her eyelashes. She holds her breath. “Not that you understand.”
Akko said the last sentence like heartbreak. Diana steps forward, her color rising unexpectedly.
“Where would get it?” Her heart thumps in her chest.
Akko looks at the ground, like a puppy locked outside. “I don’t know.” She reaches up to touch her face.
Diana takes another tentative step forward, “I’m not an expert.” She says shortly and Akko glances up. “In fact, I think I’m terribly suited for it.”
“Huh?”
“But I could show you where I’d put it.”
Akko’s eyes go wide, she nods ever so slightly and Diana was already in motion before the answer hung in the air. She kisses her shoulder.
“Diana…” Akko fades out, Diana reaches up and kisses her cheek. “Diana!”
Diana leans forward and captures her bright lips for a moment, and maybe if that could be permanent, for just a second. She kisses her and the cotton ball clouds seem to pause and the syrup of the fine blue skies drips down on her like a warm bath in her chest.
It was quick and forever all at once, the speed of her heart beat mixing with the slow press of her lips, gradual and soft at first and building into something solid. Burning.
Akko wraps her arms around her neck and Diana stands up straight, dragging her feet off the ground into a kiss with a slight twirl. She laughs and Diana holds her. “There. Right there.”
Akko boops her nose, “You can’t tattoo your mouth.”
Diana shakes her head, “I can try.” She kisses her again.
Diana gets one last tattoo, Akko dares her to get one over her heart and she accepts.