Archive of Our Own ^beta

He steps through the anomaly and feels a rush of relief when he sees people milling about. They're military, their uniforms familiar, and as he watches three of the armed men approach him.

“Sir,” the first to reach him says, but he ignores the soldiers when he recognises a fourth man striding towards them.

The man stops in his tracks when he catches sight of him, and for a moment he is too stunned to say anything. But then he's closing the distance between them with purpose until they are mere feet apart, “Howard?”

Howard’s grin is automatic and seems to trigger Evan’s, and for a long moment they stand and grin at each other.

“Doctor Cross,” one of the soldiers say, a question in his tone.

“Wait,” one of the others say. “Doctor Howard Kanaan?”

“Yes,” Evan answers for him. “Let Colonel Hall know, and we should get this anomaly closed before something dangerous comes through next.”

Howard’s mind is aswirl with thoughts; the soldier addressing Evan as doctor, the thought that the anomaly could be closed, but mostly he feels horror at the thought that he'd forgotten how dangerous it was to stand in front of an open anomaly. He jerks away from it, heading to where most of the soldiers are standing around some device, Evan falling into step beside him.

“We should talk,” Evan say, voice soft and eyes darting around to check he hasn't been overheard.

Howard takes a moment to take in the other man's appearance; he is dressed nicely, better than before in a dark blue suit and tie with a white shirt, but there are dark circles beneath his eyes, which are red, there are lines of strain around his mouth and his facial hair looks as if he hasn't groomed in weeks.

Howard is suddenly reminded of how he must appear; he hasn't shaved in months, let alone brushed his hair, he was mostly wearing the same clothes he had been when he'd stepped through the anomaly, and he hadn't had an opportunity to bathe in days. Instead of asking Evan about the obvious secrecy of their talk he nods instead, very aware that it's been some time since he brushed his teeth or gargled mouthwash.

“Doctor Kanaan,” a man bearing the insignia of Colonel on his uniform says as he rushes to them “It's so good to see you safe and sound Sir. Although I think it would be prudent to have you checked out by our medical team before we debrief you.”

“I'll accompany him,” Evan says, hand reaching out towards Howard, who pulls away before he makes contact, mind still on his appearance, causing Evan's brow to furrow briefly.

“I don't think that's wise Doctor Cross, Doctor Kanaan could be carrying any number of prehistoric nasties. It would be wise if we quarantined him until we can ascertain that he is healthy both inside and out.”

Evan glares at the man, “I will be accompanying Howard to the infirmary, if you decide to have me quarantined as well, go ahead. But the man has been alone for months, I'm not about to leave him alone again.”

“Of course Doctor.” the Colonel says on a sigh. “I'll radio ahead to let them know you might be compromised.”

Evan nods once, then turns to Howard and indicates the direction in which they should go. “The ambulance is parked that way.”

It is a military ambulance and the medics do not attempt to stop Evan when he climbs in after Howard, or say anything when he stops one of them from climbing into the back as well, having received orders from Colonel Hall to do as Evan wants.

Once they are underway, Evan leans toward Howard, speaking softly. “What happened the day you went through the anomaly Howard?”

Howard leans away, sipping from his canteen, taking a moment to think back. “You showed up at my house in search of a dinosaur...”

Evan's face lights up, “I was right, you are my Howard.”

“Your Howard?” he asks in amusement, suprised to see Evan flush.

“I- What I mean is…” Evan takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “This isn't our time,” he says quietly, once more leaning towards Howard. “When we . . . . When Dylan and I-”

Howard remembers the pretty blonde woman that had been with Evan that fateful day and wonders where she is now.

“We changed everything without knowing it,” Evan runs an obviously shaking hand through his hair. “We tried looking for a way back but... “

When Evan doesn't continue after a moment, looking lost in unhappy thoughts, Howard reaches out and places a hand gently on one of his. “What happened Evan?”

Evan startles, then takes Howard's hand in both of his and holds on tight. “The Colonel didn't want me going through the anomalies, they'd already lost one brilliant scientist, he wasn't planning on losing another. So she would go through looking for a way back to our own timeline, reality, whatever. According to the survivors, they ended up in an almost post apocalyptic future, and there were these creatures that attacked them without warning. Dylan never made it back through the anomaly, and I gave up hope of ever going home. At least now I'm not alone anymore.” Evan's smile is tentative, as if he he's worried Howard would disappear again.

“How did you know I'm not this timeline's Howard?” he asks curiously, hyper aware of how Evan is subconsciously running his thumbs over Howard's hand.

“Your clothes,” Evan says, glancing down at Howard's tattered clothes. “On the video footage of the day the other Howard went missing, he was dressed for work.”

“Work?” Howard finds himself wondering how different this Howard's life is, or was from his own.

“Yeah, Kanaan-Cross Photonics!” Evan beams at him, there is still sadness in his eyes but like this he looks younger.

“We work together?”

“Technically I work for you,” Evan says. “But according to what I could find out, you put my name in the company's because without my contribution you would never have mastered photonics.”

Howard snorts thinking about how different things were in their reality. A sudden thought occurs to him, “What about Charlotte? And your wife?”

Evan blushes again, eyes darting away. “Husband apparently.”

“Husband?” Howard asks in surprise. His eyes drop to where Evan still has his hand held between his own, and finds himself wondering.

“Yeah, both of us actually.” Howard looks up in surprise but Evan is staring down at their hands. “It was quite a shock to discover I'd been married to another man here. I mean yes I experimented but then I met Brooke, except here Brooke, Brooklyn was a man and there was no pregnancy scare.”

Howard thinks that might explain why his different title. “So you finished your studies?”

“He finished his studies yeah, and then they met because of his thesis.”

Howard notices the way Evan stresses the pronouns for the other Evan. “What happened to this Howard's . . . husband?”

Evan Looks at him with sympathetic eyes, “Cancer as well.”

“Oh.” Howard fumbles in his right pants pocket with his left hand, when Evan tries to release his right hand he tightens his grip on Evan's hands. Eventually he is able to pull out a piece of vine and tied to it is his wedding band. “What was his name?”

Evan clears his throat as he pulls a chain out from under his shirt, one hand still clutching Howard's, on which his own ring hangs. “Charles.”

For a long moment they sit in silence, rocking with the ambulance as it drives, lost in thought. Howard cannot wrap his head around the fact that this Howard had never had Charlotte in his life. Had never experienced the excitement every time she was late, the heartbreak when it turned out she wasn't pregnant, the crushing disappointment when they'd been told she couldn't fall pregnant. He finds himself wondering how they had discovered Charles’ cancer if not for the extensive tests to determine the cause of Charlotte’s infertility.

Evan clears his throat and Howard realises they've come to a stop. “Let me hold onto this for you,” he says as he covers the hand Howard is gripping his wedding band in, with his free hand. “This Howard stopped wearing his a year or so ago.”

“He did?” Howard opens his fist and watches as Evan reaches for it, a blush staining his cheeks.

" Yeah, apparently he'd moved on. “

“Oh god,” Howard groans, realising what that could mean for him. “I'm not going to have to fake a relationship am I?”

Evan releases his hand and busies himself with placing Howard’s ring on the chain with his own, seemingly ignoring the other man. “According to Toby, this Howard and this Evan were ‘taking things slow’.”

Before Howard can react the back doors of the ambulance are flung open by the medics, a team of doctors stand behind them with a gurney, and they quickly usher Howard onto it. As he is being wheeled away he glances back, and watches as Evan slips the chain with their rings on it beneath his shirt. Evan glances up and smiles at him, and suddenly Howard is filled with the reassurance that everything is going to be okay, so he smiles back.